#the way i've rewritten this like 10 times

[traumxrei-archive]

[ breaking news: user traumxrei is alive ?? ]

hello, i'm back after a very lengthy hiatus ^^ i hope that everyone's been doing well this summer (don't forget to drink lots of water)

ok so i was supposed to come back after exams but everything snowballed and i kept delaying my return to tumblr, so i'll give you the condensed life update:

i got sick before n during exams bc that's my luck ig

moved houses *insert sparkle emoji*

flew to my home country for the summer to spend time with family

i recently got my grades back (academic validation has been achieved haha)

i got approval that i'm gonna be transferring universities in a different country

and finally. i just flew back from my home country today.

all in all, quite the eventful past few months and months to come whew.

i don't know if i can go back to regularly posting like i did before, but i do still love twisted wonderland very much, so i wanted to return to share my excitement over the game, even if i'm not posting writing as regularly

in terms of writing, i think the leonayuu fans will be excited to know that i've finished the last chapter of baby it's cold outside >:D currently editing it, and writing the 'epilogue: omake', so it should be out in a couple of days ^^ thank you guys for being patient with the wait, here's the taglist if you wanna be tagged when it comes out OR subscribe to the ao3 version if you prefer that

n e ways, i think i've talked for enough— i gotta say it's good to be back and thank you for reading this far :D

[ickie]

♡ come through \ mv1 + ln4.

pairing: max verstappen x reader x lando norris summary: you and lando try to make max jealous because it's more fun that way hehe \ word count: 0.4k warnings: alcohol consumption ?? nothing supa graphic but i guess allusions to sex notes: is this the lando & max fic i promised ? no ! but it's something because i feel like all my writing sucks & so i've rewritten my promised fics like 8 million times ! n e way ! please send any feed back here ! and if you like my work enough to want to be tagged, here's a form for my taglist ! love u all <3

the corner of your mouth quirked, a devious glint evident in your eyes as you stared down max. sure, maybe you were being a brat on purpose... but it was fun. especially when he got riled up, which is exactly what was happening in the crowded miami club. your hand trailed down lando's arm, humming in response to whatever question the winner had asked you.

"come dance with me?" a pout crossed your glossed lips, lightly tugging at lando's arm, pulling him with you before he could protest. you hummed quietly to the words of the song (the weeknd, if you weren't mistaken) placing lando's hands where you wanted them - right on your hips.

"i think maxie is jealous," you giggled into his ear, hips moving to the beat of the song while his hands seemed to help sway you to the beat. "but i think you deserve me more than he does..." looking back towards the blonde, his eyes stared straight at you two, expression unreadable.

lando mumbled something into your ear that had him laughing, which caused oyu to turn around, wrapping your arms around his neck. "hmm?" you quirked an eyebrow, staring into his eyes. his pupils were wide, eyes glassed over clearly from the effects of the alcohol that everyone had been consuming since stepping foot into the club.

"i said," lando mused, hands moving to run over your ass, lightly grabbing at the flesh. "i think i might get killed if we continue this any longer." his teeth grazed your ear, his hands placed lightly on your waist before you felt another presence behind you.

"having fun without me?" the accent was unmissable, your body instantly relaxing into max's body - happy and content between the two men. "i was just giving lando some attention... he won today, afterall..." you teased, your head leaning back to rest on max's shoulder.

"missed you, maxie..." you whispered into his ear, before you looked back at lando. "missed both of you so much today... i don't think you understand." biting your lip, you stood up straight between the two males.

"my hotels only 10 minutes away," lando suggested, eyes flicking back and forth between you and max, he was clearly looking for any signs of 'we shouldn't do this' but he was met with none.

"max... what do you say?" you turned around to meet him, looking into his blue eyes. "fuck, order the uber... now."

ickies taglist !

( @landoism )

[admirange]

Ok this is a hot take and I know for a fact people will get mad at me, but after playing the 8th episode, I don't think it was that bad people were saying it was.

Maybe because all my friends, even family tease eachother in similar ways like the office scene in the episode, just funnier bc yk. Irl jokes are always funnier. And before anyone mentions it, I also do have traumas from harrassment, fucked me up hard, still couldn't heal from it entirely. I just didn't see this episode that way. And no, I did not enjoy every aspect of the story.

First of all, I saw a lot of people calling the characters coworkers, and while that's true, it's mentioned sooo many times in the episodes that they are friends. Some are childhood friends even. That's a pretty important information to add.

As I said, the office teasing was pretty lighthearted imo. I already made this example but will say it again, how many sitcom series do these same things? And do we get mad at the writers for it? (I'm sure some people are, but not the average person). If Roy was really uncomfortable with the jokes I'm sure he would've told everyone and they'd stop. But again, it's just teasing between friends.

Now onto the next part, I do agree spying on him is not right. I took the route of going but telling him about it, so idk what happened if you didn't. But he didn't seem angry throughout the episode. The characters being excited about it was kinda weird I admit that one, but couldn't help but draw a comparison between this and How I met your mother. It's my fav sitcom, and the characters sometimes get excited to humiliate/tease eachother as well. Would it be acceptable irl? Not at all. But it's fictional. I think it's important to see how the victim sees these situations as well, and as I said, I didn't feel like Roy was uncomfortable.

However I agree this episode is on thin ice since everyone's boundaries are different. Sexual jokes are too early to make. The main issue is still beemoov rushing everything.

Well I feel like I also have to add that it's usually hard for me to get angry with fictional stories. If it's bad, I just leave. Come on people, you're getting mad at an otome game. It really seems ridiculous when we take a few steps back. No, I'm not saying forming negative opinions is not allowed, it very much is, I did too in this post. But I've seen so hateful comments lately (okay not just lately, I see it under every post about Eric too), it's not normal to be this mad about a game.

Beemoov probably already saw the complaints, they said the episodes can't be rewritten once published, and I believe they'll probably try to do better in the future. I'm not being naive, I know their stuff, good and bad (mostly bad), been playing for 10 years. They are currently working on redoing the style contest voting as well, because we complained.

The point is, just try not being this hateful. I completely understand being pissed at beemoov, we have reasons for that. But attacking other players for their opinions, really? This behaviour is ruining the fandom, not the company.

[chiriwritesstuff]

The Girl in IT- 8. The Panic! in the Breakroom (Christine's Version)

A Boss! Joel Miller x IT Specialist F! Reader AU

The LIST │ Series Masterlist

Chapter Rating: M

Chapter Summary: Joel and Sugar spend some time apart and have serious conversations about their relationship's future. Everything is about to change...

Chapter Warnings and Tags: No outbreak AU, Boss x Employee Relationship, Sugar Daddy Lite, Reckless Driving, Talks about Periods and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and all of the shitty things that could happen with it including blood loss, miscarriage, and painful pregnancies, Someone gets punched (it's Joel, he gets socked in the face), Sugar takes a backseat as chaos ensues, Badass Ellie Miller, Ellie is going through it, Joel is going through it, Sugar's going through it!, Badass Survivalist Bill to the rescue, There is no smut in this chapter (like at all), no beta we die like men!

Word Count: 8.2 K

A/N: Here it is, the first chapter of my big rework, as I mentioned in this post. If you've read the original posting of this chapter, you know it ended with a surprise pregnancy and a proposal. As much as I know many of you enjoyed that outcome, it was also a departure from my true intentions for Sugar and Joel's relationship timeline, which set off a chain reaction for this story. I was afraid of alienating my readers- I thought by avoiding a darker or more heartbreaking storyline, I wouldn't upset anyone and felt like giving a happy ending to this chapter was the right move. Upon reflection, I started to regret it. Trying to censor myself out of fear of losing readers and not staying true to myself is not the way to go, and I've learned from this lesson.

There is a massive plot change in this chapter. Most of the story is the same, but I have included several pivotal moments with Joel and Sugar that will change the tone of the rest of the series. I do promise that we will be getting our happy ending, just at a different pace. This chapter does have some triggering moments, so please read the tags before reading. I also want to note that chapters 9 and 10 will be completely rewritten. I have set those chapters to private as I continue to rework them, and I hope to get those chapters out promptly before we dive into 'My Wife in IT'. Thank you so much for reading and for sticking around. I really do appreciate it.

"The conference should only be a few days, baby," Joel reassures you, planting a soft kiss on your forehead before disappearing into the walk-in closet to grab a flannel.

As he starts getting dressed, he catches your lingering gaze and teases, "See something you like, baby?" A mischievous smirk plays on his lips as he zips up his jeans.

Unable to resist, you slide out of bed and join him. Wrapping your arms around him from behind, you pout and playfully protest, "Do you really need to go, though?" You reach around him to button up his shirt, meeting his gaze in the mirror. "The bed will feel so empty without you... and it's kind of weird being here alone."

"Well, with Ellie being in the house I bet you'll hardly feel alone, hell, I can just see her attached to your hip the whole time," Joel replies, spinning around and pulling you into the warmth of his broad chest, kissing the top of your head. "You won't even notice I'm gone when she's around, she'll keep you on your toes plenty."

"Have you spent time with Ellie lately? You know anything could happen when she's around."

Joel smirks, "You've got a point there. I still need to fix the oven from her latest kitchen mishap. But hey, don't stress. If you bring Sir Bubbles along, she'll be entertained for days. It's like she's more attached to him than she is to both of us combined."

"But do you have to go, Joel?" you protest once more, "I'm sure Tommy can handle things; he's a big boy."

Joel raises an intrigued eyebrow. "Bigger than me, Mami?" he murmurs, giving you a little pout.  

"No one is bigger than you, Papi," you tease, giving him a wink. Gazing up at the ceiling, a sudden wave of unease twists your expression. You find yourself clutching at your middle, groaning slightly in pain.

"Baby? Are you okay?" Joel is suddenly at your side, his face etched with concern. He pushes your hair out of your face, giving you a small smile.  

"I don't want to call it, but I think my period is coming," you reply sadly. 

"You would think with all of the times we've tried to get pregnant, surely it would take," you sigh, frowning as you stare at the ceiling, not wanting to face Joel and his disappointment. "I'm sorry, Papi."

"Why are you apologizing to me, Sugar? We have all the time in the world! Besides, I'm loving all of the attempts," he wiggles his eyebrows, pressing a kiss on your forehead. I'm more concerned about your health than anything else, okay?"

"Okay. I'm just worried because we're not getting any younger, and I don't think your knees can handle chasing a toddler," You tease, pulling him into a slow and languid kiss.  

"I'll have you know, all of this sex we've been having has given me a new lease on life, I haven't worked out so much in my damn life! I'm in my prime, baby." Joel runs a hand through his hair as he walks over to the bedroom door, scanning the hallway for Ellie. He turns back to look at you on the bed. "Promise me you'll see a doctor if you get any worse?"

"I can't make any promises-"

"Sugar, I'm serious. If you start to get worse, you call Ellie and have her take you to the doctor. I mean it, baby. Please. Just put my mind at ease, okay?"  

"Okay."

"Ellie!" Joel's voice echoes down the hallway. "Come here for a second!"

"Yeah?" Ellie pops her head out of her bedroom door. "Are you heading out now?" She strolls out, securing her hair into a ponytail as she settles beside you on Joel's bed. "Hey, why don't we swing by your place after the old man leaves to pick up my buddy? I can't wait for Sir Bubbles to see his new cat jungle!"

You flinch slightly, adjusting into a seated position next to Ellie. "Sure thing. We can grab some lunch on the way, too."

Joel clears his throat, retrieving something from his dresser and handing it to you with a smile. "I've been meaning to give this to you sooner, but since I'm leaving for a few days-"

You open the envelope he hands you, eyes widening at the realization that he's giving you an American Express card that matches his, your name etched onto the metal surface. "Woah, Joel, I don't think this is necessary-"

"If you're going to be spending time under this roof while I'm gone, I don't want you using your own money for things like groceries and necessities, especially if it's for you and Ellie. Use this card while I'm away; go to the mall and go wild," he glances at Ellie, who grins conspiratorially. "But no more guitars, Ellie. Not after the last time."

"How was I supposed to know the guitar was $10,000? The one in your office is twice the amount, I swear!" Ellie groans, knocking her shoulder against yours. "I'm sure Sugar will keep me in check, you have nothing to worry about, old man!"

"Hey, are you ready yet, asshole?" Tommy's voice suddenly booms from the front door. "We needed to head to Waco ten minutes ago!" he exclaims.

Joel sticks his head out of his bedroom door. "Yeah, just give me a damn second!" Grabbing his weekender duffle, he presses a kiss on your cheek. "Okay baby, I need to go. I'll see you in two days, okay?"

"Okay," you reply with a smile, pulling him into a kiss. "... and don't worry, nothing bad is going to happen to me, okay? Promise."

"Reservation for Miller," Joel tells the hotel receptionist, retrieving his wallet from his back pocket to produce his Amex. "It should be under Joel Miller."

"Welcome back Mr. Miller!" The receptionist beams, tapping away at her computer. "Let me just pull up your reservation. Give me a moment... Ah, yes, reservation for Joel Miller, one room, two keys."

"Wait, hold on," Tommy interjects, nudging Joel aside. "What do you mean one room?"

"The reservation for Miller only indicates one room," the receptionist replies with a sweet smile, her head cocked to one side.

"Well, there must be some mistake, miss." Joel's brows furrow with concern.

The receptionist glances at the screen, her brow furrowing slightly. "I apologize for any confusion, but that's how it's listed in our system. One room, two keys for Mr. Joel Miller."

Tommy exchanges a perplexed look with Joel, a touch of frustration evident. "Look, we need two separate rooms. Must've been a mix-up. Can you check again or maybe offer us an additional room?"

The receptionist hesitates for a moment before typing away on her keyboard. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Let me see if there's anything available." After a brief pause, she looks up. "I'm afraid we're fully booked tonight, with the conference and all, and the reservation is for a single room. Is there anything else I can assist you with?"

"Please tell me there's at least a cot or a pull-out couch in the room," Tommy groans, shaking his head.

The Receptionist hesitates, giggling awkwardly. "Well, there's a king-size bed? I guess it's pretty spacious?" 

Joel and Tommy exchange glances, silently communicating their dissatisfaction with the situation. "Alright, fine," Joel concedes with a sigh. "We'll make do with what we have. But this better not become a habit."

The receptionist offers an apologetic smile. "I assure you, Mr. Miller, we'll do our best to make your stay enjoyable. If you need anything else, please don't hesitate to ask."

Joel and Tommy head towards the elevator, resigned to share a room for the night. As they walk away, Joel mutters to Tommy, "We'll sort this out tomorrow. Let's just get some rest for now."

"I guess it'll be like old times, brother, sharing a room and all," Tommy grunts. "I swear, if you snuggle up with me or fart in the sheets, I'll punch you right in the balls."

"If my memory serves me right, weren't you the one sneaking into my bed when things got a bit dicey in the night?" Joel retorts, arching an eyebrow while casually checking his emails on his iPhone. "Oh, Joel, I'm so scared of the boogeyman, can I sleep with you tonight?!" he imitates in an attempt at a childish voice, smirking.  

"It's really gonna be like that, huh? You're gonna play that card? What about that time after we watched 'A Nightmare on Elm Street'? Weren't you begging Mama to let you sleep in her bed, thinking Freddy's gonna suck you up from your bed like Johnny Depp? Am I gonna wake up to you screaming?"

"Oh, go fuck yourself, Tommy, you ass-" The elevator dings to their floor, a family staring back at them. Tommy clears his throat, navigating around the family, shooting Joel a look as he heads to the room. "Evenin'," Joel murmurs, tipping his head to the family. "Excuse me."

Tommy is already in the room by the time Joel casually strolls in, rummaging through the welcome basket the conference organizers had prepared for Joel. "Well, it's nice of you to grace us with your presence, 'Mr. Austin's Entrepreneur of the Year 2023,'" he teases, extracting a bottle of Johnny Walker. "At least they give you the decent shit." Taking a swig straight from the bottle, he hands it over to Joel.

"Nah, I'm not drinking tonight," Joel murmurs, dropping his weekender unceremoniously on the floor as he plops onto the bed, pinching the space between his eyebrows. "I want to stay sober just in case Sugar calls me."

Tommy takes another swig, settling on the couch beside the window with a view of the city of Waco. "I noticed that she was looking a bit pale. Something going on?"

"She told me that she's about to start her period, I'm assuming that they can be quite an ordeal," Joel muses, glancing at his phone screen displaying a photo of you and him at your birthday dinner. A smile creeps across his face as he observes the image, capturing the moment when you kissed his cheek while he smiled at the camera. "I just have a really weird feeling like something's wrong," he groans, stretching his back onto the mattress.

"Well, Sugar's a big girl; I'm sure she'll be okay. Hell, I know how periods go, with Maria and all. Maybe I'll have her check in just in case." Tommy looks out of the window. "This is nice, you know. The two of us. Feels like it's been ages since we've done something like this."

"That's because the last time we were like this, it was your bachelor weekend in Vegas, and you ditched me and fucked off on some strip club crawl with your friends," Joel chides. "Then you had the fucking audacity to crawl into my bed, only to throw up on me in the middle of the night."

"I told you I was sorry! Shit, you could have come out with us, but you were still hung up on Sugar, even then. I don't know if that girl knows just how much you've loved her all these years."

"All that matters is she knows how much I love her now. Besides, I think it's only a matter of time before I ask her to marry me," Joel muses, revealing a ring from his jeans pocket.

Tommy's eyes widen at the sight of the diamond ring, whistling. "Shit, Joel, you're serious. How many carats is that puppy?"

"Just about 2 carats. Do you think she'll like it?" Joel asks nervously.

"I think she would say yes even without that rock; the girl's been crazy about you."

"I'm scared shitless, to be honest," Joel murmurs. "Never would have thought I would be put in this situation again, getting married and all... wondering if it's the right thing to do since my first marriage crashed and burned."

"Well, it's not like you married for love the first time around," Tommy muses, taking another swig.

"Now I have a second lease on life, time to get married for real. For love, this time."

"So, you get the girl, you ask her to marry you. But what about after that?" Tommy asks, taking another swig of Jimmy Bean. "... are you guys planning on having any kids? Do you want any more kids? You're not getting any younger, brother. Surely you don't want to be chasing some toddler when you're pushing 60-"

"I mean, we talked about the prospect of having kids, Sugar's only 36. I'm not gonna deny her of something she may want because I'm older than her." Joel responds with a heavy sigh. "Truthfully, I would give her anything she wanted, no questions asked... but sometimes I think to myself, what about our kids? I don't want to die before they become adults, you know?"

"... but is kids something that she wants? Sugar's a beautiful woman, surely if she wanted a family, she would have already gotten one, you know?" Tommy muses, chuckling to himself. "Maybe she would have gotten her head out of her ass sooner and sought you out beforehand."

"What are you trying to say, Tommy?"

"I'm saying, maybe before you ask her to marry you, you both have all of your cards on the table, brother."

"What if she wants kids, though? What if she wants a family, and I'm too old to give it to her? I don't want to lose her, I can't lose her. Not when I've just gotten her. I didn't work hard for these last ten years only for me to lose the girl because I can't give her what she wants."

"I have a feeling you don't have to worry about losing her, Joel. I do think that you should talk to her, at least."

Joel nods, a knot forming in his stomach as he contemplates Tommy's words. "Yeah, you're right. I need to have an honest conversation with Sugar about this. I owe her that much."

Tommy claps Joel on the shoulder, offering a reassuring smile. "She loves you, man. Just be open and honest with her, and I'm sure you two will figure it out together."

"Yeah, I hope so," Joel murmurs, a mixture of determination and anxiety swirling within him.

"So, what's the plan for dinner tonight?" Ellie asks, idly toying with Sir Bubbles by the towering cat tree in the family room. "I was thinking of whipping up some homemade Hot Pockets. I saw Sam snacking on them the other day, and they smelled divine!"

"You know, Ellie, you could just buy them at Randalls for $2 instead of going through the trouble of making them."

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?" She grabs her phone, tapping away at Safari. "I found a great recipe that seems easy enough! Why don't we head to Randalls and grab the ingredients I need?"

"The whole beauty of Hot Pockets is the convenience," you groan, shifting on the sofa while flipping through channels. You wince as you manage to sit up. "You're not one to do things half-assed, are you?"

"I'm a Miller; we don't do things halfway. We must embrace chaos in all its glory, you know?" She glances at you from the corner of her eye, frowning at your pained form. "Are you sure you're okay? You look really uncomfortable sitting there."

You offer her a small smile through the discomfort. "Yeah, I'm just fine. It's that time of the month for me, always a bit uncomfortable."

Ellie nods in agreement. "Yeah, I hate it when I have my period. The cramps, especially! How do you deal with it? Midol?"

"Well, I have a condition that makes periods hell for me," you admit. 

"PCOS is a beast I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It's like period symptoms on steroids, honestly. Bad cramps, nausea, heavy period flow, the whole nine yards and then some."

Ellie frowns at that. "How long have you had PCOS?"

"Since my mid-twenties?" you muse, scrolling through your phone. "It's been a while, that's for sure."

"Bullshit! That's like a decade! How can you deal with such painful periods like that every month? I would be yelling at the doctors to rip my uterus out!" Ellie pets Sir Bubbles, her face deep in thought. "I heard that women who have PCOS have a hard time conceiving. Is that why you haven't had any kids yet?"

You snort. "Yeah, well, I haven't been trying to have kids, either."

"But I bet it's different now that you're with Joel, huh? I bet he's been wanting to knock you up since you agreed to be with him," she smirks. "I mean, for someone who built his own house, you'd think he would insulate the walls a little more, make it more soundproof-"

"Ellie-" you grit through your teeth, cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"What? I know it's just human nature to want to be intimate with your partner-"

"Ellie, deciding to have kids is a big step in any relationship. It's something that changes your life forever."

"...and is that something you want, Sugar? To have kids?"

"I don't know what I want, really," you respond truthfully, shrugging. "I never really allowed myself to think about the future like this before, and now that I'm with Joel... it's making me question whether or not I would be a good mother. I... I didn't grow up in the most nurturing home when I was a kid, but I do remember promising myself that if I were to have any kids, I wouldn't raise them the way my parents did."

"That's understandable," Ellie quips thoughtfully, settling herself into the couch as she faces you. "I don't think I would ever want kids. It seems so freaking scary and overwhelming; I can't fathom the kind of pressure you're feeling about it. Have you talked to Joel about this?"

"We've talked about it," you admit, the weight of uncertainty evident in your voice. "I don't know if he wants kids, but I'm just not sure if I'm ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready, you know? I'm scared of disappointing him. What if he sees it as a deal-breaker?"

Ellie nods sympathetically, her demeanor softening. "I get it, Sugar. It's a tough spot to be in. But Joel loves you for you, not for whether you want kids or not. And if he's the right guy, he'll understand your concerns and respect your feelings. Joel's a lot, but I know that this man would do anything for you. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Trust me, I live with the guy."

You exhale slowly, feeling a bit lighter with Ellie's reassurance. "Thanks, Ellie. I guess I need to talk to Joel and figure things out."

"Exactly," Ellie responds with a hopeful smile. "Communication is key. Just be honest with him, and who knows? Maybe you two can find a way through this together."

"You know, you're pretty wise for a little shit, but I do appreciate the words of wisdom, Ellie Bellie. Maybe you're not so bad after all," you tease, a chuckle escaping your lips. "Thanks for the armchair therapy. Should we get a move on to buy the ingredients for these hot pockets of yours?"

"Yeah, yeah," Ellie sighs. "We might as well head to Target, so we can get some Midol too. Grab your key; I'm driving! Can't have you navigating these streets in your condition. Plus, I've been meaning to take the Tessie out on a joyride!"

The next morning, you wake up to find blood on the sheets. Panic grips you as a sharp, stabbing pain surges through your lower body, causing you to double over in agony. You suppress tears as you carefully slip out of Joel's bed, realizing that your flow was so heavy it soaked through to the mattress. Gathering the sheets, you remove your stained pajamas and underwear, wrapping yourself in a towel to avoid waking Ellie down the hall.

On tiptoes, you make your way to the laundry room, groaning with each step. After depositing the soiled linens and clothes into the wash, you hobble back to Joel's bedroom. Sighing, you enter the bathroom and draw a hot bath. Glancing at your phone, it's 5:34 am. You meet your reflection in the mirror, eyes widening at the sight—your skin is pale and clammy. Quickly splashing water on your face, you try to shake off the discomfort.

You recall your recent FaceTime with Joel. You remember the sadness and concern in his eyes as he saw your pain. It's not like any period you've experienced before.

"Baby, I really think you should go to the ER," he pleads. "Wake Ellie up, have her take you-"

"It's just my period, Joel," you assure him, smiling through the pain to ease his worry. "Sometimes they get really bad, maybe this time is one of those times."

"I just wish you wouldn't be so stubborn, Mami. This is really concerning, maybe I should drive back-"

"I just think I should sleep it off. If it's not any better, I'll go to the hospital, okay? Sleep makes everything better," you promise, knowing your stubbornness may hold true. It's not new to you, but how is Joel to know?

"I wish I could keep you on FaceTime all night, just to make sure you're okay, but I don't want to keep you up with all of Tommy's snoring-"

"I'll be fine, baby, don't worry. You have a big day tomorrow, Austin's Entrepreneur of the Year," you tease, hoping to divert the conversation. "I love you so much, Papi. I wish you were here with me."

"I wish I was too, baby," Joel smiles. "Call me tomorrow? And please, if it doesn't get any better-"

"... I'll go straight to the doctor. I promise."

"Hey, Sugar, you don't look too hot."

"I'm fine, Ellie. Just a little headache," you assure her, managing a weak smile while holding up your Owala water bottle. "Probably just dehydrated, nothing a little water can't fix. I also got my period last night, and it always gives me problems. It's just a bit heavier than usual."

Ellie eyes you with concern. "Maybe it's time we get it checked out. Joel did say-"

"I know, Ellie, but I'm already behind on my reports, and Tess will flip if I don't finish them by the end of the day. I'll tough it out. If it gets worse, I promise I'll get myself checked out. I'll even let you drive me there, okay? Let's just keep this between us for now. I wouldn't want to bother Joel by being a baby about period cramps."

"Well, could you at least try to eat something? I swear the last time I saw you eat was yesterday. Joel's gonna kill me if something happens to you, and I really don't need that kind of stress right now. Not before the apprentice exam," Ellie urges, sliding her glass container into the microwave. "Besides, you can try out the Hot Pockets we made last night!"

"Isn't this supposed to be the other way around? I'm the adult in this equation; I should be looking over you, not the other way around," you chuckle. "What would Joel say if he saw us right now?"

"He would give us his best frowny face and bridal carry you out of here, taking you to the doctor," she replies, taking the seat across from you. "I'm not lying when I tell you that you look sick as hell. You should be at home, resting! I'm really worried about you, Sugar. For real this time. You need to at least eat something so you don't pass out!"

She places one of her creations on a plate, presenting it in front of you with a flourish as she begins to devour her own, inhaling it in a few bites. "Damn, that was good," she exclaims to herself, leaning back in her chair, taking a sip of her Baja Blast. "Come on, Sugar," she pleads, "Eat!"

You take a deep breath as you eye the hot pocket, your stomach churning at the overwhelming smell. With a hesitant smile, you lift it off your plate, taking a small, careful bite to avoid offending Ellie. "Mmm," you say softly, placing it back onto your plate. "You really outdid yourself this time, Ellie!" you commend, pushing the plate away. However, the effort to conceal your discomfort becomes futile as your head starts to spin when you attempt to stand.

Ellie's eyes widen as she quickly rises from her seat. "Sugar-"

"Ellie, I'll be right-"

Before you can reach the door, everything turns black.

"Sugar!" Ellie screams, dropping to her knees as she attempts to lift you, panic evident in her voice. "Somebody, help!"

Bill bursts through the door in an instant, his eyes wild as he assesses the situation. "What the hell happened?"

"I don't know!" Ellie exclaims, cradling your head in her lap as tears stream down her face. "She wasn't looking too good, so I gave her a hot pocket, and she took one bite and fainted! What am I going to do? Joel's going to freak!"

"Bill?" Frank calls out as he enters the breakroom. "What the hell is going on?!"

"Frank," he says calmly, "Call 911. Tell them that someone passed out." He turns his attention back to Ellie, his eyes focused. "Ellie, do you know if she hit her head?" Ellie is frozen in place, her breathing erratic, the weight of the situation settling in.

"Ellie!" Bill shouts, trying to maintain control. "Focus! Did she hit her head or not?"

"I don't know!" she says shakily, her hands trembling. "Everything happened so fast!"

"Bill," Frank says uneasily, "She's bleeding," he points to your lower body, his eyes widening in fear. "It's a lot of blood, fuck, is she... what if-"

"Fuck this!" Bill mutters, urgency in his voice as he picks up your limp body. "Frank, get the van, we need to go to the hospital, NOW." He looks over at Ellie, who is crying uncontrollably. "Ellie, call Joel."

"But Sugar begged me not to call Joel-"

"Joel won't forgive you if you keep him in the dark. Get him on the phone, NOW," he commands, darting towards the door behind Frank. "... and pick up the pace! You're coming with us!"

Ellie grabs her phone from her back pocket, her hands shaking as she scrambles to call Joel. She curses as it goes straight to voicemail. "He's not answering! It's going straight to voicemail-"

"THEN CALL TOMMY, ELLIE!" he shouts as Frank parks near the entrance, engine still running. He hurries out of the driver's seat, opening the back door. "Ellie, sit here! I need you to elevate her head!" 

Ellie jumps into the car, phone in hand. Bill gently places you in the van, positioning your head across Ellie's lap. "Keep it elevated, okay?" Ellie nods, looking at you with concern. "Do you think she's going to be okay?" she whispers, placing a hand on your cheek. "This is all my fault-"

"Ellie," Bill says, heading toward the driver's seat. "This is not the time for that," he steps on the gas, swerving to avoid an oncoming vehicle. "Put Tommy on the phone, now!"

Ellie fumbles with her phone, quickly dialing Tommy's number. As the line rings, Bill navigates the van through the chaotic streets, tension thick in the air.

"Come on, Tommy, pick up," Ellie mutters anxiously, glancing at you still cradled in her lap. After a few tense moments, Tommy's voice crackles through the phone.  

"Ellie? What's happening?"

"It's Sugar. We're on our way to the hospital. Something's wrong," Ellie replies, her voice shaky. "I tried to call Joel but it's going straight to voicemail! Could you put him on the line? Please!"

"Shit, Ellie-" Tommy stammers, "He's about to go on stage-"

"What's going on?" Joel notices Tommy's unease. "Who is it?"

Tommy hesitates as he puts the phone on speaker. "It's Ellie, something's happened at the office-"

"Joel? Dad?" Ellie cries, her voice quivering.

"Ellie? Baby girl, what's wrong?" Joel asks worriedly, peering out to the stage as the emcee begins. "Baby, what's going on?!"

"It's Sugar, something happened at lunch-" she sobs, looking down at your pale form.

Tommy's eyes widen as he witnesses Joel's demeanor change rapidly. "Ellie, what happened to Sugar?" he soothes, trying to get her to calm down through her sobs. "Come on baby, breathe-"

"She passed out at work! I know, she shouldn't have gone in, but she swore that she was fine! I tried to get her to eat something and she looked sick all of a sudden... and then she was on the ground, bleeding! It all happened so fast, I swear! I'm so sorry, Dad! It's all my fault!" she cries.

"Joel," Bill cuts in, honking as he narrowly misses a car he overtakes. "I'm heading over to Austin General, ETA 2 minutes. She's lost a lot of blood." He runs a red light, a barrage of horns erupting from the maneuver. "I don't know what's going on, but I'm going to get her there."

"You're driving her there? Why didn't you call 911?" Joel demands.

"They would have taken too long, Joel. Minutes we do not have. Trust me, I'll get her there faster than they could," Bill hesitates. "Joel, I think she's-" The line cuts off as Ellie's phone dies.  

"BILL? ELLIE??!" Joel screams into the phone frantically as he runs his hand through his hair. He tries to call Ellie back, only to be met with voicemail. "Fuck!" he shouts, trying to call Bill. "Why aren't they answering?"

"Joel, you're gonna have to tell me what the fuck is going on-"

"Sugar collapsed at work. They're on their way to Austin General now. Grab your shit, we're leaving."

[and it's with my great pleasure to introduce you to our keynote speaker and Austin's Entrepreneur of the Year, Joel Miller!]

"Okay Mr. Miller," the assistant interrupts, hand on his earpiece. "You're up!"

"I have a family emergency, I need to leave," Joel replies, attempting to make a quick exit.

"No can do, Mr. Miller; it's your turn!" The assistant insists, pushing Joel towards the door.

"Are you deaf?!" Joel shouts, forcefully removing the assistant's hands from him. "I already told you, my wife is being taken to the hospital right now-"

"Just get on stage, say your piece for five minutes, and then you can go straight to the hospital," the assistant insists, shoving Joel towards the door, unfazed.

Joel's frustration boils over, and he shoves the assistant back, his anger reaching its peak. "Listen, I don't give a damn about your schedule! My wife needs me, and I'm not wasting another second here!"

The assistant, angered by Joel's defiance, clenches his fists. "You're not going anywhere until you fulfill your obligations. This is important!"

"Joel, we don't have time for this!" Tommy grits, glaring at the assistant. "If we leave now, we can miss the rush on 1-35."

The assistant grabs Joel's forearm, pulling him as he makes his way towards the door that leads to the stage. "You're getting on that stage, give your fucking speech, and then you can fuck off and get to your little wife-"

Joel pulls himself out of his grasp. "Are you fucking kidding me? Don't put your hands on me!"  

The man glares at Joel. "Look asshole, we fucking paid for you to come here, and you're not going to make some half-assed excuse about your sick wife-"

Joel's patience snaps, and he throws a punch, hitting the guy square in the face. "Don't talk about my wife like that!"

"Fuck! You broke my fucking nose!" he shouts, tackling Joel to the ground. He manages to land one good punch before Tommy intervenes, pulling the man off of him and shoving him to the ground. "What the fuck is your problem, man?" he yells as he tries to get up.  

"Joel, are you okay? Come on, let's get the fuck out of here before they call someone!" Tommy hoists Joel onto his feet, his lip split and a bruise forming on his cheek. They run towards the parking garage, Tommy throwing his keys at Joel as they jump in, peeling out of the parking stall. At the corner of Joel's eyes, he sees security guards running along the lot, searching for them.  

"Stop!" one of the guards yells, trying to block the truck at the exit. Joel swerves around, narrowly avoiding the guard as they pass the parking attendant booth. He hits the gas, driving through the parking arms, pieces flying over the dashboard as they merge onto the main road. "Joel, think they'll chase us?" Tommy asks, the tension thick as they speed away. "I don't think Maria will appreciate watching us on a high-speed chase on the evening news-"

"Shut the fuck up, Tommy!" Joel cuts him off, navigating towards the freeway out of Waco, heading to Austin. "Just let me fucking concentrate on the road!"

"Slow down, Joel! Dying on the way there won't help anyone!" Tommy yells as Joel narrowly avoids a car while speeding down the freeway. Fortunately, no police cars are chasing them as they make their way towards Austin. "I can't believe that guy wanted to fight you, and you just started throwing punches!"

"Tommy, not now," Joel grits his teeth, gripping the wheel tightly. "I knew I should've stayed home. If I were there, then-"

Tommy's phone rings, displaying Sarah's face on the screen. He answers the Facetime call, and Sarah's concerned face fills the screen. "Where are you guys?" she asks nervously. "Ellie's phone died, but the hospital just called asking for information. You're her emergency contact, Dad."

"Do you know what's going on?" Joel inquires as he navigates down the freeway. "I don't have my phone, but we're on I-35 right now, should be there in about 30 minutes."

"They can't release any information because we're not family," she says hesitantly. "I'm legally supposed to call her parents, but-"

"You can't call them, Baby. She wouldn't want them there. Tell them she's my wife, and I'm on my way," Joel insists.

"Dad, I don't think we should lie about that-" Sarah expresses her concern.

"I'm all she has, baby. I can't be kept in the dark. Were you there when it happened?"

"No, but Dad, she was bleeding. There was a lot of blood-"

"Damn it!" Joel slams his hands on the steering wheel, his eyes wide as he overtakes a few cars, stepping on the gas. "I should've followed my gut and stayed home. She was already in pain when I left yesterday!"

"Well, speeding down the freeway isn't helping, Dad!" Sarah shouts through the phone. "We're all concerned for Sugar, not just you. I sent Tess to the hospital to bring chargers and Bill and Frank's phones. I need you to relax; it's not going to help her if you two get into an accident!"

"I can't help it, baby girl. I love her, and it's hard to think straight. All I'm thinking about is how scared I am. I can't lose her. I've already known how it feels losing her all these years; I don't think I can survive a second time."

"I know, Dad," Sarah replies. "Just get to her in one piece, okay? I'll let you know if I hear anything back."

"What do you mean I can't go in with her?" Ellie groans, attempting to keep pace with the gurney as they rush you down the hallway towards a room, with Bill and Frank following behind.

The doctor raises an eyebrow at her. "Are you her family?"

"She's my sister!" Ellie asserts. "I was adopted by her family!"

"Doctor," the nurse interjects urgently. "She's lost a lot of blood; she's going to need a transfusion... she might be in the middle of a hemorrhage-"

"If you know she needs a transfusion, then what are you waiting for?"

"The patient has O Negative, and we don't have any on hand-"

"I have O Negative!" Ellie tells the nurse, showing her wrist. "I found out my blood type after an accident as a kid. Take it from me, please!"

The doctor eyes Ellie warily. "... and you're sure she's your sister?"

"Not by blood, but by heart. Please, doctor. She's important to me, and I know she would do the same for me in a heartbeat," Ellie pleads.

The doctor sighs, nodding his head in agreement. "Fine, if you say that she's your sister, then I'll just take your word for it. Nurse, prep her for a blood draw. She's a match."

"Hey! You can't park here!" The hospital security guard shouts as Joel and Tommy hastily exit the car, leaving it right outside the ER. Joel sprints through the hospital, Tommy trailing behind him. He reaches the receptionist's stand, his chest heaving. "Where is she? Where is my wife?!" he demands, attempting to jump over the partition, with Tommy trying to hold him back.

"Sir, I'm going to need you to calm down," the receptionist replies, glaring at both of them. "I'm going to need a name."

Joel hesitates but states your first name, adding 'Miller' as your last. Tommy shoots him a look, signaling the obvious lie, but Joel gives him a warning glare. The receptionist's eyes narrow at Joel. "She was just brought in 20 minutes ago. She's currently under observation but will be put in a room soon. Should be room 203. You can wait for her if you'd like."

Joel breathes a sigh of relief. "Do you have any idea what's going on?"

"I don't, but the attending Doctor should be with her. He could answer any of your questions," she hands him a clipboard. "I'm going to need you to fill this out for me with her information, and then you can head down the hall and take a left. Her room should be a few doors down that corridor." She assesses his disheveled state. "Sir, are you needing assistance as well?"

"I'm fine," Joel dismisses her as he fills out the form. He takes out his Amex and hands it to the receptionist. "I don't have her insurance card, but please put all charges on this card."

The receptionist's eyes widen at the color of his Amex. "Certainly, sir."

Joel strides down the hallway towards room 203, catching a glimpse of Ellie in the room adjacent to yours, a nurse tending to her bandaged wrist. His heart lurches at the sight, but he pushes the worry aside for the moment. As he approaches your room, he sees Bill and Frank sitting on a nearby bench, their expressions heavy with concern. Frank rests his head on Bill's shoulder, a distant sadness clouding his eyes.

"Bill!" Joel's voice echoes in the hallway. "Thank you for bringing her here!" He notices their somber demeanor and furrows his brow. "What happened-"

Bill hesitates, his gaze flickering with reluctance. "Joel, I think it's best if you go inside and talk to the doctor," he suggests softly, his voice strained with emotion. "He'll be able to explain everything to you." He offers a weak smile, though it fails to mask the worry etched on his face. "Frank and I are gonna head back to the office, alright?"

"Yeah," Joel stammers, nodding. "Thanks again, Bill... for everything."

"Anytime, Joel," Bill responds, his eyes watery. "Take care of her, okay? She's gonna need you."

Joel's stomach churns with apprehension, but he nods in understanding. With a final glance at Bill and Frank, he takes a deep breath and steps into your room, steeling himself for whatever news awaits him. He nods as he walks into your hospital room, audibly gasping at the sight of you, unconscious. A doctor is tending to you, engaged in conversation with a nurse. He turns around at the sound of the gasp.

"Mr. Miller, I presume?"

"What's going on with her, Doc?" Joel asks, his face reflecting a mix of worry and tears.

The doctor eyes Joel silently, a heavy sigh escaping from his chest.  

"Why are you not telling me anything? She's my wife-"

The doctor, catching on to Joel's distress, gives a serious look. "Mr. Miller, let's maintain a level of seriousness here."

"But she's practically my wife! I'd give my life for her, you understand? Please, man to man, wouldn't you do the same for someone you love?" he pleads, Tommy, looking away from his brother to keep himself from breaking down.  

The doctor, unyielding, emphasizes, "We have legal protocols to safeguard those who can't speak for themselves. I can't divulge information to just anyone; there are procedures that must be followed for the well-being of the patient."

"Well, what can you tell me, then?" Joel's voice wavers as he pleads with the doctor. "I'm in the dark here, doctor. Please," Joel begs. "Just give me something. Tell me she's going to be okay."

The doctor takes a deep breath before delivering the news, "She was pregnant, Mr. Miller. She has Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and is anemic. Due to significant blood loss, we had to perform a blood transfusion. Luckily, someone who accompanied her was a match."

Joel's heart sinks as the words hit him like a ton of bricks. "Was? So, Sugar and the baby... Are they okay?"

The doctor's demeanor shifts, his eyes reflecting a mix of empathy and gravity. "Mr. Miller," he begins cautiously, "Sugar lost a lot of blood during the procedure. She was suffering from a hemorrhage and was going into shock. I did everything in my power to save them both, but... I'm sorry, Mr. Miller. The baby didn't make it. Sugar almost didn't make it out herself. Without that blood transfusion-" He trails off, the weight of the situation hanging heavy in the air.  

"Ellie..." Joel whispers, realization dawning on him as he connects the dots. "That's why she's bandaged up?"

The doctor leans in, a glimmer of understanding in his eyes. "Yes," he confirms, his tone somber. "What we did was highly unethical and illegal. I don't appreciate being lied to, but your daughter's quick thinking saved Sugar's life. Despite the miscarriage, Ellie's actions kept Sugar alive. It was incredibly brave of her. I'm willing to keep this between us if any issues arise. Sugar is still with us because of her. That girl has nerves of steel," he chuckles softly, his gaze distant with memories. "Reminds me of my daughter. Us fathers need to stick together, right?"

Joel nods, his gaze unwaveringly fixed on you lying on the hospital bed. "I knew something was wrong... I should have stayed back. I can't imagine the pain she must have been in-"

"Unfortunately, this is highly common for women with her condition," the doctor interjects, his tone gentle yet matter-of-fact. "As much as we can dwell on the what-ifs, most times the baby won't make it past the first trimester. It does give us a little hope that she was able to conceive to begin with. Have you two been trying long?"

Joel's shoulders sag slightly at the doctor's words, a mixture of grief and understanding washing over him. "We've spoken about it, but only decided to try recently," he admits, his voice tinged with sadness. "But we never imagined it would end like this."

The doctor offers a sympathetic nod, his expression reflecting empathy. "I'm sorry for your loss, Joel. Losing a child is never easy, but please know that you're not alone in this. If either of you need support or someone to talk to, we have resources available. I want to have Sugar spend a day or two here, just to make sure her blood count gets back to normal. You're welcome to stay as long as you need to, okay? I'll make sure of it."

Joel manages a faint smile, grateful for the doctor's compassion. "Thank you," he murmurs, his gaze drifting back to you, his heart heavy with sorrow yet filled with love and determination. 

The doctor nods, glancing at Joel's disheveled appearance and the split lip. "I can get someone to fix that for you if you'd like. Waking up to see you like this might frighten Sugar. You must have been through hell to get here."

"Pretty much," Tommy says sadly, his eyes filled with tears. "Thank you for saving Sugar, doc. We really owe you one."

The doctor nods. "Yeah, well, thank your little girl; she's the real hero today." He gestures behind Tommy and Joel. Ellie stands at the doorway, nervously fiddling with the bandage on her wrist. Giving Joel one last nod, the doctor makes his way to the door, giving Ellie a comforting pat on her shoulder as he walks away. Joel turns his attention back to Ellie, a sad look on his face as he tries not to lose his shit in front of his brother and his daughter.  

"Ellie-" he starts, his voice shaky. "Baby-"

"Oh, it was nothing, you know, just another day at the office," she casually says, downplaying herself. "Besides, she's family, and we do anything for family." 

"You're damn right we do," Tommy boasts, pulling Ellie into a side hug. "You saved the day, Girlie."

"You sure did," Joel cries, pulling her into a tight hug, his tears soaking into her hair. "You did so good, baby girl. Thank you, thank you, baby."

Ellie hugs Joel back, sobbing into his chest and clinging to his shirt. "I was so scared, Joel. It made me think about what happened with Marlene, and I just froze! If Bill didn't step in, I don't know what would have happened—"

"Ellie—"

"... and I told her that she should tell you. She looked so sick, so I told her that she needed to eat something, and I gave her a hot pocket—"

"A hot pocket?"

"Yeah, we made it last night, and even then, I knew something was up. She was always wincing and flinching in pain, told me that she was on her period—"

"Ellie. She was bleeding out, then. It—" Joel takes her face in his hands, his expression serious. "She was pregnant, baby girl. She has a condition that makes her bleed heavily. Fuck, she must have been in so much pain—"

"Wait," Ellie says, her eyes reflecting shock. "What do you mean, she was pregnant? Does this mean that she lost the baby?" she says solemnly, turning her attention to you. "Joel, I'm so sorry, maybe if I had been more stubborn and firm with her, maybe-"

"Ellie, trust me when I say that none of this was your fault, baby girl," Joel pulls her into his chest as she sobs, his hand soothing her back. "These things happen all the time with women that have the same condition as her. Honestly, I'm just happy that she had you to watch over her, you did everything perfectly, alright? No more tears, baby. Sugar's still here with us, and that's all that matters, okay?"

"Okay," Ellie murmurs into his chest. "Joel, what's going to happen now? are you going to tell her? We need to tell her, right?"  

"Why don't you head back to the office with Tommy and let me worry about that, alright?" Joel responds, sighing as he sits at the edge of your bed. "I think you've had too much excitement for one day, I can talk to her when she wakes up, okay? Don't worry."

Tommy places a comforting hand on Joel's shoulder, pulling him into a side hug. "I'm really sorry, brother. If there's anything you both need, just let me know, okay?"

Joel nods. "Thanks, Tommy."

"Ready to go, Ellie?" Tommy asks, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "We better get moving before they tow my truck out front." Ellie nods as they both give you and Joel one last glance, making their way out of your hospital room.

"Let me know if you need me to bring you anything from home, alright?" Ellie tells Joel, giving him one last smile. "Take care of yourself. I love you."

"I love you too, baby. Get some rest, okay?"

Joel looks back at them helplessly as a sob escapes his mouth. He buries his face in his hands, finally allowing himself to fall completely apart. As heartbreaking as the miscarriage is, the thought of losing you at the same time is unbearable. How could he have turned a blind eye to the pain you were going through? How could he have almost lost you, just like that? The guilt and anguish weigh heavily on his shoulders as he grapples with the harsh reality of the situation.

"I'm so sorry, baby," he cries, reaching for your hand. Joel presses a soft kiss on your forehead, his tears falling upon your face. He wipes them away as he settles himself on the seat next to your bed, his eyes never leaving your face as he waits for you to wake up. Every fiber of his being yearns for you to open your eyes, to assure him that you're still here, still fighting alongside him.

Taglist: @sarcasm-theotherwhitemeat@gwendibleywrites@brittmb115@joeldjarin@drewharrisonwriter@littlebunnybigheartfics

@missladym1981 @auteurdelabre @quicax3 @casa-boiardi @amyispxnk

@untamedheart81@paleidiot@laurrrra@la-vie-est-une-fleur29@bbiophiliaa

@thewiigers@survivingandenduring (I apologize if I missed anyone, but if you are looking for any of my fic updates, please feel free to follow my updates blog @chiriwritesstuffnotifs!)

[fifthrideroftheapocalypse]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thanks for the tag @lemonlyman-dotcom !!

1. How many works do you have an AO3? 19

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 29,507

3. What fandoms do you write for? 911 Lone Star, 911, The Old Guard, Shadowhunters, RWRB

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

victories, defined | a 911 Season 7 coda to the medal ceremony. Tommy confronts Gerrard (i dont really like this one tbh)

hitchcokian | a 911 season 7 coda. buck calls Tommy right after he runs into Kim. (this one is okay, but i fear i wasted the title "hitchcockian" on this when it would be cool do a genre-bending thing. idk)

echoes | 911 Lone Star Season 1. Carlos waits in the hospital after TK is shot and really talks to the 126 for the first time.

why | 911 Lone Star. the silliest thing i've ever written, and it's all @lemonlyman-dotcom's fault. Carlos buys Lou II pajamas and then realizes he has to put the pajamas ... on Lou II and regrets every decision that led him there.

halted beginnings | 911 Lone Star. post-engagement. Carlos is in love. But he's forgotten about something.

5. Do you respond to comments? I do, although I think im kinda behind on doing so? I do forget to sometimes.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i think it's a tie between halted beginnings (linked above) and fundamental. they are essentially sister stories, with fundamental being the meta-verison of halted beginnings. they both tackle Carlos forgetting about Iris when he says yes to TK's proposal. halted beginnings is more of a character introspection into how, in the moment, Carlos might have forgotten about Iris. fundamental takes the meta-approach that Carlos/Iris were never planned from the beginning and is written as if Carlos, the character from season 1-3, knows someone else is rewriting his history (the writer, or "Tim," as I called him in the annotations lol). Both fics end on a heavy note, with Carlos either putting off telling TK (halted beginnings) or a rewritten version of Carlos taking over Seasons 1-3 Carlos (fundamental).

7. What is the fic your wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably "why" (linked above). TK and Lou II in matching pajamas ... couldn't be better!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't, and I hope it stays that way.

9. Do you write smut? not really

10. Do you write crossovers? No, but I would like to

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? no. but open to that if anyone wanted to translate

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nooooooo, but I would love to collaborate on something!!!! Idk how to find a person to collaborate with though lol

16. What are your writing strengths? i really don't know ... someone else tell me. i feel like i always want to make people feel like they are in the room with the character, and i thiiiiiink i do that. or at least im getting better at it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? plotting, finishing wips lol

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I don't do it, but I definitely could be better at adding in there.

19. First fandom you wrote for? for this question I'll take into account my past fan fic writing life, which was a long time ago. Angel

20. Favorite fics you've written?

In no particular order:

large popcorn with a bag of m&ms | an Old Guard fic I wrote in 2021 that I really want to turn into a longer series. It's Nile-centric and about how she misses her real family while adjusting to her new immortal life.

peace | a 911 Lone Star fic that is actually pretty angsty too, haha. it's very short, but I was stretching some more poetic writing muscles I hadnt used in a long time. This is Carlos, after the breakup

Staring at ghosts | my newest one, 911, bucktommy. It's a wip, but I really love the first chapter, and I'm really excited about the rest of it I have outlined and partly written. Buck and Tommy are still in the fairly early stages of their relationship, and Buck doesn't really know how to open up when he starts having dreams about the lightning strike.

--

no pressure tagging: @rmd-writes @welcometololaland @reyesstrand @bonheur-cafe @paperstorm

@alrightbuckaroo @carlos-tk @carlos-in-glasses

[a-canceled-stamp]

20 Questions for Writers

Thank you @motleyfam, @crows-murder and @selkienight60 for the tags! ^.^

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

157,488

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly DC, but Star Wars, Marvel, Malevolent (Podcast), Good Omens, and MHA make appearances too.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Long Way Down (To The Bottom Of The River)

Then Came the Morning

A Leap of Faith

Talk To Me

There Are Softer Oak Trees

5. Do you respond to comments?

I used to respond to every comment fairly quickly but recently I just haven't had the time :(( I appreciate every single comment though, they bring me such joy 🥹

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That would be cardboard box - the first (sort of) hurt no comfort I've written >:D

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably There Are Softer Oak Trees :)))

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do!!!! Or...I'm giving it a shot at least. Not for DC, but for Malevolent. Might post something real soon :3

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nope!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I didn't even know this was a thing before today. That being said, I don't think so??

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I would love to collab sometime :3

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I cannot pick one because I don't really have A favorite. But Stucky (Marvel), DinLuke (Star Wars), Merthur (Merlin), SuperBat (DC), TimKon (DC) and Science Girlfriends (Orphan Black) are all ships I enjoy.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Dying Is Easy, Living Is Harder. I have many ideas for it but unfortunately, I'm not obsessed enough about the characters to fulfill them lmao. Also An Unexpected Visit bc similar to the previous one I have a lot of ideas, but I just don't think I am talented enough to actually write those ideas.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've rewritten this answer 10 times, but no version felt right. At one point, I decided I was just gonna skip it. BUT NO. I'm gonna stop worrying about other peepz opinions and just say what I actually believe. And here it is.

I know how to make my writing more immersive with various details like sounds, smells, sensations etc. (and I LOVE doing this. The only issue is I sometimes do it either too much or too little ahdjkhsd)

I am VERY nitpicky. This can seem more like a flaw (and it is), but it has also helped me grow and understand what I like and dislike about my writing. It also means I spend a lot of time editing which makes posting SO much more satisfying (tho sometimes I gotta get those shorter fics out there for the instant serotonin boost lol)

I'm not a huge fan of characters who say/do things that don't make sense considering the genre/plot. Spending more time on this is challenging since I both dislike and SUCK at writing dialogue (why is English so HARD??), but it is also a lot of fun bc I think I am getting better at it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Well, that part about being nitpicky is obviously a lie bc I didn't realize question 17 was gone ahdjshdkj. But I was the one who noticed it first among my friends so...maybe? Nope lol

English grammar. I have to double check every time I write a message to online friends to make sure what I've written is actually a sentence that makes sense.The thing is - I think I'm pretty good, but I actually suck. One time, I wrote mold wine instead of mulled wine in a fic. Never living that down. This is I think why it takes me so long to edit lmao.

Being too harsh on myself and not allowing myself to feel proud about my accomplishments/comparing my writing to other people. Yes, compared to other fantastic writers I suck, and it will always be like that. It's something I'm still struggling to accept, but I'm getting there!

Writing quickly. Like shutting off my brain and just writing doesn't work for me. I have to be there and edit every single sentence that I don't like, and I think this is why it takes so long for me to finish the first draft. Def gotta work on this!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Hmm. Instinctively, I think it makes more sense to write something like, "Person A said something in a language I didn't understand" than to write in that language. It's more fun that way. And if both the pov character and I don't understand what Person A saying it makes me sympathize with the pov character more.

That being said, if I ever see someone writing in Swedish in a fic, I will be immensely happy (and horrified)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Rise of the Guardians on ffn. The fic is still there and is still hot garbage, but I did have a lot of fun writing it.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

I know what my LEAST favorite one is hjkahdsjk. Nah but for real, I love all my fics for very specific reasons. Like I have a sort of emotional connection with all of them depending on where I was in life, how I was feeling emotionally at the time, etc.

My top 3 would probably be Long Way Down (To The Bottom Of The River) bc it was the first fic I put a lot of thought and effort into, There Are Softer Oak Trees bc it makes me soft and fuzzy when I think about it, and cardboard box bc the comments made me fkn cackle.

It feels impossible to tag people who haven't been tagged yet but imma go with @miles2g0, @lurkinglurkerwholurks, @they-reap-what-we-sow, @liverobinreaction, and @bonesbuckleup. No pressure ofc!

[whatevertheweather]

an ask game for writers to procrastinate working on your WIP(s)

Thank you for the tags @bookish-bogwitch @aristocratic-otter @youarenevertooold I've been in search of ways to procrastinate <3

1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s):

I'll go with one that isn't being posted yet: Callous.

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

Touch starvation + poor communication = Baz's No Good Very Bad Night

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it?

PTSD, disassociation, and, uh, emotional hurt/comfort?

4. 🧭An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)?

Bold of anyone to assume I'm good enough at coming up with titles that I have multiple to choose from. Oh! But actually I do for Bait and Switch, thanks to Dre brainstorming fishing idioms with me. There were 4 alternatives, but my favorite is All is Fish, because it makes no fucking sense.

5. ⚠️Which WIP your most likely to finish or update next?

It had better be Musical Chairs.

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as)

In an uncommon turn of events, I only have one (active) WIP right now that's not already named as it will be posted, and that's "yeah sure let's just write some shit that's way later and not finish the other that's fine"

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP.

It’s just…there’s also some deer in the headlights energy to him, which, mixed with the general aura of barely tamed violence, is throwing Shepard off. Truly, it’s been a good long while since he’s done this kind of pinballing over what he’s seeing when he looks at someone.

He does know what he’s seeing when he looks back at Simon. It’s the sort of face that has him politely averting his eyes to examine the bland thread of Simon’s shirt instead. He thinks walking in on the two of them tangled up without a stitch of clothing wouldn’t feel half as intrusive as looking at that expression did.

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP.

I had to abandon about a page of the above misnamed WIP (now to be succinctly abbreviated as YSLJWSSTWLANFTOTF) because it no longer fits the tone of the rest of the fic at all, which is sad because it made me laugh. It's too long to put here in its entirety, but here's part of one line, which shall function as the dead darling's eulogy: "I know you have a dick, Baz, I’ve fucking well been thinking about it!”

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

Okay there's one I don't want to say much about because, selfishly, I want to be the one to write it, but it's related to truth spells. (Technically I've started it because there's a document with 10 scattered lines of dialogue, but I haven't started it started it.)

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on?

I'm trying to focus on 3, but I might have to say 4 here.

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

I have rewritten the same 4 pages of Musical Chairs about 5 times. It's absurd. I know what's going to happen, I have the ending written, I have almost everything that gets us there written, and yet this section is u n d o i n g me.

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send.

I'm gonna take that as me sending kudos to all these lovely people: @cutestkilla @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @artsyunderstudy @fatalfangirl @whogaveyoupermission @iamamythologicalcreature @thewholelemon @facewithoutheart @martsonmars @ileadacharmedlife @ivelovedhimthroughworse @larkral

[yume4evere]

vampire knight Volume 10 Edition

HINO : Zero , Yuki and Kaname

YUKI: Without Yuki , I wouldn't have been able to start this story. She's a precious girl. When Kaname faced Yuki when she was born, he was so profoundly moved and felt such tenderness towards her that he thought every cell in his body had been rewritten. As for Zero , I think he spent his youth in darkness, filled with nothing but hatred and despair when he hadn't yet met Yuki . Yuki's worries are multi-layered and intense. There are people she wants to cherish. But she is inexperienced and helpless. Yet she is mercilessly forced to make a choice. The feelings she cannot pronounce are abundant. As a result, Kaname had to carry most of the burden, I put you through deep anguish in my opinion. I'm sorry. You joked about it in a Drama CD, but I really have to wonder if you haven't developed baldness with all the stress.

Kaname: You are a cornerstone of the story, but you ended up dealing the main blow of the various drawbacks, starting with my weakness as an author. I'm sorry, Kaname . If only I could go back to that episode… It’s always on my mind. When I think of this person, various thoughts and memories come to mind; I am filled with a feeling of helplessness at not knowing how I should have represented him and it pains me. I feel that...readers who were fans of his probably feel similar feelings.

Zero: Him, whose hair is always affectionately chewed by White Lily , or grabbed by the children he saves when he puts them on his shoulder. The stress he carries is at the highest level in the world of Vampire Knight . I wouldn't be surprised if he developed a bald spot on his head. While he is extremely delicate and vulnerable, he is a strong and reliable person who can be valiant when he has found a resolution. Even in the face of adversity, you tried to remain a kind person and suffered infinitely because of it - you are a person I respect.

Message from the author

Afterword

I would like to express my gratitude again now by writing an afterword in this way after the series has already ended. It's been two years and several months since the series ended. Since that, the series has received special chapters, a stage adaptation, bunko editions, and I've been given plenty of opportunities to sincerely reflect on Vampire Knight .

I thought about how I realized how much I enjoyed drawing Vampire Knight . I myself am amazed by this devotion. I had a lot of regrets during its serial publication and also after its conclusion..."If only I had done such and such, then... Why didn't I believe in myself, have more perseverance and more wisdom at the time?" I am tortured by these regrets. But my love for the series would not allow me to lose hope.

I ardently poured my heart into the finale, right up until the last panel. And fortunately, I was able to assess that my readers understood this, thank you to many for their warm and thoughtful words. I would like to thank them for following Vampire Knight . Thank you for being there in the happy and sad times.

Maybe because there are more special chapters planned, or because deep inside, Vampire Knight is still far from the end and continues to linger in me, I'm pumped up once again. That's why I would be grateful if you follow me a little longer in the world of this story.

September 2015 Matsuri Hino

[booksandchainmail]

re: recent posts, would you recommend starting Guide now or try and catch up to Pale Lights?

That depends, how much do you like reading a serialized work as it publishes?

I really enjoy getting weekly chapters, and the way a serialized release schedule builds investment. But I also have friends who really dislike having to wait for more every week, and won't read a serial until it's complete.

Pale Lights is currently in a place where there's enough of a backlog that there's an initial binge to get you deep into the characters and world, but IMO not so much that it's too intimidating to catch up. Book 1 wrapped up a few months ago with ~300k words, and book 2 is only around 10 chapters in. Despite the lengths, I find web serials really manageable to read as they come out: keeping up with ~6000 words a week isn't a huge timesink.

On the other hand, PGTE is around 3 million words, which is a hefty chunk of time to commit. Those words are absolutely worth it, but it does take a while.

From a story perspective:

PGTE is rougher at the beginning, since it's the author's first work. It's also more accessible to get into, since it's built on top of a standard fantasy world template, so there's less immediate worldbuilding to wrap your head around. It has a single protagonist, plus frequent interludes from outside perspectives. Pale Lights throws you into the deep end a bit in terms of setting, but also more meaty worldbuilding in a way it takes PGTE a bit to work up to. It has multiple POV protagonists, but no regular outside interludes (aside from an epilogue).

Practical Guide takes place in a world built on deliberately-generic high fantasy tropes, and then plays around with them and builds on top of them. It features a lot of battles and army movements and fights between people with vast amounts of personal powers. Pale Lights is a much weirder setting, has less outright fights, and features more small-scale conflicts (so far) between characters closer to baseline human with one specific power each.

tldr:

My personal advice would be to read Pale Lights first, if only because it's the one where when you start reading matters now. PGTE isn't getting any more or less finished, so if you read it a year from now you'll get the same experience. I think PGTE is an amazing piece of work, but Pale Lights has the potential to be even better, and is currently a smaller commitment to start with. Practical Guide is one of my favorite works of all time, and I've probably spent more time thinking about it than any other work. I can't say Pale Lights has reached that level yet, but I think it will given more time.

That said, they are very different in setting and premise, so I'd recommend reading the little summary blurbs for each, and seeing if one really grabs you (since I think those convey genre well).

blurbs and a few extra notes under the cut:

the one caveat to "PGTE is complete" is that it's currently being rewritten on an app called Yonder, which is unfortunately paywalled and on a weird subscription model. Hopefully we'll get the complete rewrites of individual books available for purchase at some point, but who knows. It will also theoretically get a webtoons adaptation as the rewrite goes, but no details have come out yet. When this was announced it was also said that the PGTE website would be taken down, but that decision was postponed, there's no new deadline, and if it does go down there are... ways to acquire a copy.

PGTE blurb:

The Empire stands triumphant. For twenty years the Dread Empress has ruled over the lands that were once the Kingdom of Callow, but behind the scenes of this dawning golden age threats to the crown are rising. The nobles of the Wasteland, denied the power they crave, weave their plots behind pleasant smiles. In the north the Forever King eyes the ever-expanding borders of the Empire and ponders war. The greatest danger lies to the west, where the First Prince of Procer has finally claimed her throne: her people sundered, she wonders if a crusade might not be the way to secure her reign. Yet none of this matters, for in the heart of the conquered lands the most dangerous man alive sat across an orphan girl and offered her a knife. Her name is Catherine Foundling, and she has a plan.

PGTE prologue epigraph:

In the beginning, there were only the Gods. Aeons untold passed as they drifted aimlessly through the Void, until they grew bored with this state of affairs. In their infinite wisdom they brought into existence Creation, but with Creation came discord. The Gods disagreed on the nature of things: some believed their children should be guided to greater things, while others believed that they must rule over the creatures they had made. So, we are told, were born Good and Evil. Ages passed in fruitless argument between them until finally a wager was agreed on: it would be the mortals that settled the matter, for strife between the gods would only result in the destruction of all. We know this wager as Fate, and thus Creation came to know war. Through the passing of the years grooves appeared in the workings of Fate, patterns repeated until they came into existence easier than not, and those grooves came to be called Roles. The Gods gifted these Roles with Names, and with those came power. We are all born free, but for every man and woman comes a time where a Choice must be made. It is, we are told, the only choice that ever really matters.” – First page of the Book of All Things

Pale Lights series blurb:

Vesper is a world built on the ruins of older ones: in the dark of that colossal cavern no one has ever known the edges of, empires rise and fall like flickering candles. Civilization huddles around pits of the light that falls through the cracks in firmament, known by men as the Glare. It is the unblinking stare of the never-setting sun that destroyed the Old World, the cruel mortar that allows survival far below. Few venture beyond its cast, for in the monstrous and primordial darkness of the Gloam old gods and devils prowl as men made into darklings worship hateful powers. So it has been for millennia, from the fabled reign of the Antediluvians to these modern nights of blackpowder and sail. And now the times are changing again. The fragile peace that emerged after the last of the Succession Wars is falling apart, the great powers squabbling over trade and colonies. Conspiracies bloom behind every throne, gods of the Old Night offer wicked pacts to those who would tear down the order things and of all Vesper only the Watch has seen the signs of the madness to come. God-killers whose duty is to enforce the peace between men and monsters, the Watch would hunt the shadows. Yet its captain-generals know the strength of their companies has waned, and to meet the coming doom measures will have to be taken. It will begin with Scholomance, the ancient school of the order opened again for the first time in over a century, and the students who will walk its halls.

Pale Lights book 1 blurb:

Tristan Abrascal is a thief, one of many making their living under the perpetual twilight of the greatest city in all of Vesper: Sacromonte. Quick wit and a contract with a capricious goddess have always kept him one step ahead, until one night he crosses a line by accident that burns all the bridges he had left. But not all is lost, for his mentor offers a way out of peril that turns out to be more than a simple escape. It is also an opportunity to get even with the infanzones, the nobles he’s lived under all his life, and it so happens that Tristan has a full ledger’s worth of scores to settle with them. Lady Angharad Tredegar has fled halfway across the world, leaving behind a ruin of a life: her family butchered by a ruthless enemy, their estate torched and their nobility revoked. Yet no matter how far she flees the blades of assassins follow, and she finds herself growing desperate for any protection. She has one relative left to call on, her estranged uncle in Sacromonte, but she finds that the safety he offers comes at a cost. Angharad has sworn revenge, however, and her honour will allow for no compromise. She will do what she must to survive so that one day bloody vengeance can be visited upon her enemies. The paths of the two take them to the doorstep of the Watch, but for desperate souls like them enrolment is a lost cause. They will have to do it the hard way instead, by surviving the trials on the isle known as the Dominion of Lost Things. Where every year many go, and few return.

[wizardlocation]

[image ID: a simple advertisement for Ko-fi funded sketch requests. it has four digital sketches displayed on it in varying quality. the text on the advert is rewritten and further explained below //end ID]

I'm in need of funds for medical bills and car repairs!!

So I'm offering ko-fi sketch requests for as long as I can go about working on them!!

My health is Very bad and I'm unable to work due to mental and physical disability which goes untreated due to the fact that I'm extremely poor. Me and my partner have been working to turn things in our favor while living with my mother and two of my teenage/young adult relatives but a long line of misfortunes has kept us from any progress. the current hurdle is that my partners car, which is vital for transporting everyone but my mother to their jobs, is in need of some electronics repairs (yikes i know). We've been doing everything we can to save up for the car but now I've been bed ridden because of dental problems and I've sped up asking for help with this post in hopes I'll be able to get enough help to be able to visit a dentist.

SO with that explanation out of the way, I'm off to another:

I'm currently offering sketch requests on my art blog here in exchange for a ko-fi donation of $10 or more!!!

Requests will be of varying quality and will be done when I get time and energy to work on them!!!

I WILL DRAW:

- canon transformers if you'd like to donate and drop a name in there ! (these are my favourite requests to get bc then i get to search the tfwiki and get fun facts!!)

-ocs WITH a full reference. Fan ocs are fine too. link the ref with the donation please!

-Furries!! I love drawing funny animals. just have a ref ready and linked!

-mecha! robots and such are fun for me, just as always have a ref linked with your request.

WON'T DRAW:

-NSFW

-I may choose to not draw a request that's related to certain fandoms / is too complex for me / I'm uncomfortable with. these are requests first and foremost and as such i may decline drawing them.

[joeyzio]

TOONBLR! HELLO! I'm Joey Ziolkowski, one of the designers over at @toontown-rewritten. Leading up to Christmas, I'm celebrating the wintery weather with a Backstage Toontown look at the design & development of my FAVORITE minigame in all of Toontown: Cold Caller Cubicles!

how it started how it's going

Today we'll take a look at the Ice Skating mechanic.

To any designers thinking about including ice skating in your game: It's a heck of a slippery slope. If you have the time to get it right, though, it can be incredibly fun!

We spent hundreds of hours and hosted dozens of playtests to tune these ice skating mechanics to be just right for Toontown. In our early tests, the results weren't very promising. It was sort of fun if you could reach top speed, but it was difficult to move the way that you wanted to and extremely punishing if you made a wrong move.

We quickly realized that to make skating fun for thiis minigame, we had to live up to these expectations:

The controls need to be simple and intuitive enough for Toons to grasp them within 10 seconds.

Reaching top speed should be easy and satisfying - the skill should come from maintaining it.

Skating should be the primary focus of the game, rather than bogging it down with other actions to juggle.

In the end, we settled on the following rules for Ice Skating:

1. There are two states: Slipping and Skating. When the game begins, Toons are in the Slipping state until they pick up some speed.

2. Pressing the SKATE button (tied to the Toon's jump key) will switch them into the Skating state, and give them a temporary boost in the direction they were facing.

3. Holding the BACK button will put on a break that slows your Toon's skating speed. Toons have greater control over the direction they are facing at slower speeds.

4. If a Toon bumps into a Cog or breaks to a full stop, they will return to the Slipping state. If a Toon is ever back in the Slipping state, they can immediately use their skate boost again without waiting for the cooldown.

It took a lot of hard work, but I love where we ended up. I have bias, of course, but I believe they're some of the most satisfying ice skating controls in any game I've played!

What Backstage Toontown details about Cold Caller Cubicles would you all like to hear about next?

[miracleandplagueau]

What are your thoughts on the season 5 finale?

INHALE (S5 finale spoilers, duh)

Before I start, disclaimer, I didn't watch most of the season 5 episodes in full. I mosty watched the important lore things and completely gave up on filler. That being said I didn't need to apparently, so let's just get on with it.

✦ PART I. What the actual fuck just happened.

The entire episode felt like some kind of fever dream, like it was written by a 10 year old just starting their journey with original characters, power systems and stories on general and had little idea how to tie the plots together in a satisfying way. Unless we count the mass reunion of everyone from the past whereas I hoped that the NYC and Shanghai specials were just ""fun episodes"" in the vaccum.

The whole plot of both episodes is basically Marinette is badass for 1.5 episode, but fails at recognizing that Gabriel (cough cough THE Monarch) is way beyond redemption and fucks up the entire world (not really, will be explained later)

I'll say it right now, I hate how miraculous went from a magic-focused story to ending on so many science involving plotlines. I mean, come on. He suddenly got himself a laser to turn the miraculouses to rings, created brand new jewelry with floating displays. It sucks, I hate it all over.

✦ PART II. Gabriel and his shenanigans

Personally, I hate the one-wish quota. No matter what happens, I've always seen it boil down to two outcomes - either the villain is stopped from making the wish and he has to be dealt with in a regular way or he succeeds in making the wish and faces no consequences in the end because the world has changed so much

It's the latter with Gabriel, but at the same time not exactly. He succeeded in making the wish, bailed on everyone and get this - he not only got what he wanted, he also got away with it scot free. No, I don't care If he was trying to do the "good" thing by bringing back his dead wife because he loved her. He did horrible, horrible things to get to that. I'll tackle the lack of consequences a bit later on.

✦ PART III. After-wish consequences

HA what the fuck am I saying, CONSEQUENCES? IN MIRACULOUS LADYBUG? That's fucking hilarious. Apparently, not only Marinette doesn't have to worry about being called out, because Gabriel put n the earrings and suddenly he's the most lucky bastard in the universe. Spoiler alert: that's not how it works.

During the scenes that showcased how Emily and Nathalie are alive, how his house is no longer grim and is instead filled with life and roses and bushes. It was nice, It really was.... visually. It's one to look at it and think "yeah, that's a nice finale" and other to look at it while knowing the context.

Oh and by the way, Emilie. So happy we got to see her.... for 5 seconds without counting the video. SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE THE MOTIVATION FOR GABRIEL TO REWRITE REALITY?!? I'll forever be salty about that.

Going back to the wish for a second and the outcome of making the wish,,, are you fucking serious. I thought the world was supposed to be rewritten when the wish is made, not fixed? What kind of wish did the fucker make, because clearly he brought back TWO people and nothing else seems to have changed. And do not get me with the "Oh but he sacrificed his life for the wish!!--" BULLSHIT. HE WAS AN HOUR AWAY FROM TURNING INTO DUST SMARTASS, THAT IS NOT A WORTHY SACRIFICE OF BRINGING SOMEONE FROM THE DEAD AND HEALING SOMEONE.

I'd at least enjoy it a little If he vanished. Like went poof, gone, no more Gabriel, because then the sacrifice would hold some weight. He gave up his existence so that Adrien is happy, but nooo motherfucker got a STATUE IN HIS HONOR.

Nobody took the blame for the Hawk Moth/Monarch situation either. To people of Paris he just appeared, caused chaos and destruction before fading away after GABRIEL AGRESTE SUDDENLY HAD THE POWER TO GIVE CIVILIANS WITH HIS NEW RINGS POWERS OF A HERO. Nobody found it weird? No? Just me? Okay.

✦ PART IV. Marinette more like Marynette Sue

Marinette was especially unbearable this finale. The fact that she was the only one who fought Monarch, that she's the only one that knows his identity, that she just casually got two most powerful miraculouses all for herself. It just. hurt me physically.

She thought she can be steven universe fr

✦ PART V. Can Adrien stop being a plot device FOR TWO EPISODES

I'm sorry, is this too much to ask for? Is it too much to ask for Adrien to have a part in anything here. During my watch, I can confidently say that I forgot that Adrien existed and yes I know that he's closed off in a padded room, because Gabriel wants to "keep him safe", but come ON at least give us a take away back to him seeing Gabriel on the screen, struggling with the nightmare or considering taking the whole Miraculer deal. It shouldn't be like that in the first place where the secondary main character, the second hero is left to rot while the strong female lead do everything seamlessly.

In the end, the only thing he did is kiss Marinette and take Gabriel's rings. He didn't even find out about his father being the literal Monarch, It felt so cheaped out I dunno. It could've worked If he had a bit more part in the actual fight.

✦ PART VI. Oh yeah, and about Lila's cliffhanger (and season 6 and 7)

WHO THOUGHT OF THIS BRIGHT IDEA?! (I know damn well who did)

I hate the fact that Miraculous will actually continue with Lila as the new butterfly holder. I hate the fact that she got what she wanted and that she will continue to BE there. I do not give a single fuck about Lila and I will not be watching beyond season 5 because for me, the show of Miraculous: Adventures of Ladybug and Chat Noir has ended and it has ended horrendously at that.

✦ PART VII. The little positives the finale had

I liked Bug Noir's design. VISUAL DESIGN. and the animation in Agreste's garden.

I also actually really enjoyed Tikki and Plagg's true forms and Gimmi's fun attitude. They really gave them that great look where you go "Oh yeah, these guys aren't JUST bugs and are actually something greater than a human being" and I like that a whole lot..

PART IX. Finally, final thoughts

There are so many things I still have to say about the finale like the Adrienette, other characters like Luka, Nathalie, Kagami's mother also getting away scot free (for now) and blah blah blah but I am TIRED. I'll likely talk about it in the future or just hopefully forget that it exists.

This one is rough as fuck I know but I'm just writing it as I go

In short, man, am I glad this is over. Am I glad this is over.

Thomas, get your fucking shit together, because middle schoolers write better and more consistent stories. Bringing in all your half-assly written characters to just fight a distraction of sort and having your main character face the villain all alone because she's a strong female lead is not good writing thank you for coming to my ted talk

[mapleflavedpepperoni]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers ⭐️

hi maple ✨✨

Hi Couchie! Anyone who sees this and wants to fill it out themselves, feel free to! I don't bite and I think it'd be nice if I inspired you! :D

5 Things that make Maple happy

Toontown as a whole! Corporate Clash, Rewritten, Infinite, Project Altis, Online, Realms... You name it, I've probably played it or explored it in some way. I could genuinely go on a whole RAMBLE about this game, but I think my Toontown tag speaks for itself here.

2. Being able to play mom/dad friend! It makes me happy to be able to provide the love and support that others might need and/or don't hear very often. If I can make a difference, even if I never know about it, I can go about my day knowing I can help someone. And to those who know me on a more personal level, I'm extra happy to be in your life...

3. Gummy candy, especially if it's on the sour side! I love things like Trolli, Sour Patch Kids, and Jolly Ranch gummies (I was never really a fan of the hard candy)! It always hits the spot. I have a sweet tooth for other candies like Snickers, Swedish Fish, and KitKats.

4. My voice! This is probably a weird one, but let me explain. Not a lot of people can hear their own voice without, say, grimacing or getting second-hand embarrassment. From ages 10 to 18, I liked participating in my school's chorus, and in that time, I learned to appreciate my voice. I still explore my vocal range, and learning to appreciate my voice has helped with my confidence.

5. Hot chocolate! (...When it doesn't burn me, naturally.) Be it hot or cold, water or milk, with or without marshmallows, summer or winter... I love cocoa. I don't drink it all that much compared to water, but it is such a treat!

[devondespresso]

WIP WhhhMonday Nightish

Once upon a time Devon was tagged in a wip wednesday by @eriquin and meant to do it but missed both wednesday and the weekend before remembering again. totally unrelated, Devon is working on getting their official adhd diagnosis.

i also noticed that the past snippets shared in wip-whatever posts have been purposefully the least interesting parts because i was worried about spoilers, which is dumb because that's created the unintended consequence of my tag is full of everything i don't like as much and a very different impression of what my fic is (as seen by most of these snippets being my rewritten scenes despite the actual fic being mostly new in-between scenes)

TLDR: WIP Whatever-day-it-is: But Actually For Fun This Time

The Rules

Post the file names of up to 5 of your WIPs for people to send you asks

Post a snippet of one of those WIPs

When people send you an ask with the name of one of your WIPs, write 3 lines of that WIP.

(Optional) Post the lines you wrote.

You can send multiple requests especially since this is going on through the weekend!

The WIPs

we're doing bulleted chapter titles to share from since that was my favorite and genuinely most productive format I've used. Feel free to ask for as many as you want, I plan on working on this basically all week

Karen Wheeler POV Bonus Chapter (Prologue kinda? side story in the same universe?? Bonus chapter set after season 1 and way before ch 1)

Steve, are you okay? Are you okay, Steve? (ch 9)

What's this? The consequences of my actions? (Is that a motherfucking Lovejoy reference?) (ch 10)

Kidnapping? no. surprise adoption. (lol get taken care of BITCH) (ch 11)

NEXT CHAPTER BC IDK HOW TO TRANSITION (ch 12) (a very tentative title for the next chapter to be written)

The Snippet

here is my favorite and most recent scene I've written, which takes place before they junkyard where Steve and Dustin are at the grocery store to get that ungodly amount of raw meat they have to toss around (also i've split chapters up a bit in the name of structure so the third chapter is now called "Mommy Issues Central". Lemme know any goofy vine reference ideas you guys have or if it should stay like that) (fear not, Get Yo Fucking Dog Bitch lives on still as chapter 4)

___

They turned down the next aisle, lining the edges of the cart with some other pasta-related shit that he could still probably use. They heard someone coming over from the next aisle and before he could turn the cart around Mrs Wheeler pulled up.

"Oh, Steve ...and Dustin. What're you boys up to?"

He took a short breath to work their story into something without Mike, but Dustin beat him to it.

"He's teaching me stuff." 

He was imitating the tone Steve used but still way too vague. Mrs Wheeler held up a smile, her brows slightly lifted.

"Y'know, like cooking-" Steve said, throwing in a little gesture to the cart.

"And cars, changing oil and things. Y'know just.. dad stuff."

Dustin's part convinced her, Mrs Wheeler's expression softening into a real smile.

"Well I won't keep you long," 

She nodded off to the side to talk to Steve one-on-one.

Great.

“Are you and Nancy okay?”

“Wh- we’re- Why? Did she say something?”

“No, no, she’s just been… closed off, lately. And I drove her to school the other day, she didn’t say why.”

“Sh- yeah, that- that’s on me. Sorry.”

“Did you break up?”

“No no, definitely not. We’re kinda… we’re working on it. I’m going to try and make it better, after y’know..” he gestured to Dustin behind him.

“Right.” she smiled again, “Let Nancy know she can talk to me about any of this? Please? I tell her but- I don't know, maybe it’d be different coming from you.”

He held up a smile for her.

“Yeah, sure. Mind if we..” he jutted a thumb towards the end of the aisle.

“Yes, go ahead.”

He gave her a short wave and turned back to Dustin, who studied random shit in the aisle like Steve would believe his sudden fascination with olive oil outweighed childish curiosity.

“Steve-”

He turned back around, seeing Mrs Wheeler coming back up to him and whispering again.

“I know I’m not your mother, but you can talk to me, too. Both of you, okay?”

He kept the smile in place and nodded again, and she finally went back to her cart.

Dustin “Definitely-Not-Eavesdropping” Henderson followed him out of the aisle, thankfully waiting until they were out of earshot to ask.

“What's going on with you and Nancy?”

“Thought we had ‘much bigger problems than my love life’?”

He pulled up to the deli, stopping to pretend to look at the options.

“We’re not dropping everything for it but we can still talk.” he groaned.

“I’ll tell you later, kay? Not exactly the best place to talk.''

___

Tags

@stobinesque @spoookysix @marvel-ous-m @alexcharmsyou @museumgiftshoperaser @blushweddinggowns @sharpbutsoft @fag4dykestobin @findafight (no pressure ofc and feel free to switch it to actually wednesday fhuhjdklashj) (also just let me know if you don't wanna be tagged in these)

[silent-silver-slip]

20 Questions for AO3 Writers

@librarylexicon Thanks for the tag!

How many fics on ao3 have you posted?

378! Because I am somewhat insane

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

2,070,160

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I actively write for Harry Potter, Naruto, Julie and the Phantoms, and Avatar: The Last Airbender.

I can, apparently, be convinced to write for BNHA, Howl's Moving Castle, Star Wars, Spiritfarer, Percy Jackson, and the Inheritance Cycle. There are probably others I'd be willing to explore too, but I've yet to actively write for them.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Sea Dreams - Probably unsurprising, actually. This is a Naruto fic and is the first one in the series. Complete AU beginning with a Uchiha surviving the massacre, who also turns out to be a reincarnated ninja. Uzushio all the way!

Relight These Embers - ATLA. This is a super fun one I got to write that explores Zuko and Azula in a world slightly to the left of canon.

Never Surrender - HP. What if Regulus was sorted into Gryffindor? (This now has a rewritten version! It's completed and updating weekly at the moment.)

Trust In Your Companions - ATLA. Zuko & various animals.

If you've got life, you've got fight - HP. Regulus Black is reincarnated as Draco Malfoy. Needless to say, this changes a lot. But also not much at all.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yep! It might take a while, but I always do so. Well, aside from some awful ones that it's better off ignoring...

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Honestly, in terms of fanfiction, I don't really do angsty endings! I like my happy endings too much, or maybe my hopeful endings. The idea that, even if things aren't alright now, they might one day be okay.

I reckon the most angsty is probably 'If I could take us back, if I could just do that' (JATP), because there's no resolution at all there. That said, 'dancing on the tightrope (don't cut the wire)' (Naruto) is a little bit angsty too, because there's an element to hopelessness to it that definitely cuts to the quick. But there's also the idea of just... going on anyway, I guess. Then there's two HP fics that are technically angsty as well - 'there is always what comes after' and 'all you can do (is go on)'.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happiest ending? God, I don't know. But I've narrowed it down to three that have endings I particularly like.

this band is back & it's been years - JATP. Less so for the ending itself, and more so for what the story means to me. There's something about friendships that kind of broke down, and also fell wayside, and reconnecting and finding some new, finding something better, finding something stronger, that appeals to me so very much. Writing this fic absolutely healed something broken within me, I think. And, sure, it'll break again, but I always have this to fall back to.

For similar reasons, though not the exact same, I must also mention 'Let's get the band back together'. (JATP) I think I really found myself realising how I'd grown as a writer while writing this, which was fun, and this is a much softer fic too. There's something about finding a home and finding your people that is just fucking fantastic.

Lastly - 'and then, suddenly, you hear the ocean' (Naruto). For a fic that is cemented in grief and death, the healing and recovery of this fic soothes something within me.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Got heaps back on ff.net back in the day! And I have gotten a fair few things on ao3 too, which sucks heaps. It's not the easiest thing to deal with, but I'm lucky that when it really hits me, I've got some people I can turn to and ask for a much more objective truth. It works, most of the time.

9. Do you write smut?

Nope

10. Do you write crossovers?

Eh, not really. It doesn't appeal to me that much, to be honest.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Less stolen as such, but definitely appeared on other websites before - you know the ones that access websites via another platform or whatever? They've probably been scraped or whatever before too, I imagine.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, which is super exciting! @dragonsampersanddragons has done two fics ('Cover Your Eyes (The Devil Inside)' and 'The Sea Never Looked Back') into French, and 'on to war' (HP) has been translated into Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not anything that was ever finished or published!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Lol, I don't have one. Definitely don't care for romance. Love me a good QPR, found family, or friendship though!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Oooh, there's an old story idea I once had called Threads of Magic that I would love to explore. But it also has a lot of hurt associated with it now, so doubt it'll ever happen.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think it's characterisation, probably! If only because I tend to try and always make my characters 3D, and I think that shows up. Sometimes I manage to do some awesome dialogue lines which is always nice, but not always.

(17????)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'd do it! Probably comes from the fact I've worked with other languages in the past, and also conlang (god, it's so hard, kudos to anyone who manages it). Occasionally, I might just go 'x said in y' or something. Otherwise (though I've never done it), I'd probably do that thing on ao3 where you can have the formatting so translation shows up when you click/hover over it. It's neat as hell.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I think it was Harry Potter lol. Or maybe Percy Jackson? I wrote original work first, so that's what sticks more I think.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

I've already mentioned a few of them! That said, it tends to be what I've written more recently. Particular shout outs to:

Sea Dreams (and the entire series) (Naruto) - Toru, hope, and found family. Enough said.

this band is back & its been years (JATP) - As mentioned, it healed something in me

Let's get the band back together (JATP) - Friendships grown distant and making them anew

laughter so loud even the stars can hear (Naruto) - The vibes??? are so soft???

with them, i am home (and the love is a choice series) (ATLA) - Honestly, this rarepair was pretty fun to explore

how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist (series; and more specifically i don't believe that love was made to break) - Urban fantasy!! Strange lake creatures!! fae!!

Trumpets 'verse - JATP. Still one of the funniest things I think I ever wrote

Here's To Us (Here's To Love) - Naruto. Found family/friendship of Team 7. Just them and their softness.

Okay this took way longer than I expected, so no idea who to tag. Anyone can pick it up - and I hope you have fun doing it!

[variousqueerthings]

Time can be rewritten...

Angels In Manhattan, Amy and Rory goodbye. this is a... difficult one to rank. it may or may not make sense. Amy and Rory work better or worse depending on whether you've excised parts of previous seasons. it's kind of a... simple way to go in a sense, but is that good? (and yes, in classic!who sometimes companions would be written out between seasons, but I always assumed M*ffat would try to outdo everyone by being more tragic than anything before)

also this interesting post by @brilliantfantasticgeronimo that at the end talks about laws of time and how and when and why they're broken or upheld in terms of timestreams. things to think about going into this one, but luckily there's a handy-dandy ratings system

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 6/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored): 5/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 3/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 3/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 3/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 7/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 6/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 6/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 2/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 6/10

FULL RATING: 47/100 (if I can count….)

not the lowest a M*ffat episode's gotten. I think mainly it's just a bit... there. and I cannot help compare it to The God Complex, which is one of the two highest rated episodes of this era and manages much the same thing in a more cohesive way

OBJECTIFICATION: on the whooole considering River Song is in this one, it's mostly okay after the first few minutes

we do get some shit in the beginning: "My lipstick was combat ready and I was packing cleavage that could fell an ox at twenty feet" which the Doctor is... into? as a description? he doesn't even know it's River Song at this point, he just likes the description for some reason

but yeah, mostly it's okay. River is a femme fatale in a detective novel called "melody malone" but it's fine on the whole

PLOT-POINT: there's this bit where Amy reads a bit from the book River wrote in the past, and the Doctor is like "Now that you've read this it has to happen," and it turns out that the line (why do you have to break that) is a reference to River's wrist as she tries to get free from an angel

and it's this sort of theme of the episode, it's been read, it must happen, buuuut the Doctor could have just... not broken her wrist, according to this logic, right? it didn't say "and then River Song's wrist was broken" it just said that bit of line (and then "because Amy read it in a book...")

my point here is that then the Doctor gets really pissed off because it means something bad will definitely happen. he reads a chapter title called "Amy's Last Farewell" and it sends him into a rage -- (sidenote, Matt Smith's Doctor is the only Doctor I've seen so far where his kind of anger makes me very uncomfortable, that's subjective, but he comes across as An Angry Man sometimes and I'm not a fan of that) and instead of helping River out of the angel he tells her to figure it out herself in a way that doesn't break her wrist

she pretends she manages it and the Doctor is happy, until he realises she lied, and her wrist is broken and then he fixes it using time energy and she slaps him (we'll get to that in a minute) and Amy treats it as a "you just don't understand Womens" moment and then goes out to comfort River, asking why she lied

TO WHICH River replies: never let him see the damage, and never let him see you age

and this is just. peak River in the grand narrative once again. walking on eggshells around this rather petulant child in terms of the writing, and I'm meant to understand her feelings as anything other than "I was brainwashed as a kid to be obsessed with this guy and now I cannot break out of the programming" (which to be fair could be interesting, if it was done on purpose and not... by M*ffat)

and this also plays into Amy, who has since gotten reading glasses and "lines around her eyes," and it's this thing that's come up a lot in this iteration, that the Doctor has serious Peter Pan syndrome, but it's never been more textual than in this era

point being, Amy is the recipient of this line, but Amy isn't really narratively engaging with this. Amy could have let go of the Doctor ages ago, and in fact in the last episode the Doctor is saying that it's clear he needs her a lot more than the other way around... so why are we bringing this up now? what is it doing here? what is it saying about Amy or even River tbh, who's been in the form of a middle-aged woman most of the time we've known her and also at the end of the episode flat out refuses the Doctor's offer to travel with him for... no real reason

there's just a lot of quite uneven writing here that feels like it's trying to put together last-minute connections that don't belong there, and they're not in service of River or Amy, but to further hammer home that The Doctor Is Basically An Eternal Child Who Feels Bad

also this: When one’s in love with an ageless god who insists on the face of a twelve year old one does ones best to minimise the damage (at the Doctor, before he heels her wrist)... fascinating lampshading of all the seemingly very sexy flirting (including in this episode) River and The Doctor do... it's almost enough to make them interesting, in the sense that yeah, sometimes loving the Doctor means a different gender, different skin colour, different external-looking age, short, tall, thin, fat, etcetc

of course it's not really doing much with that, it's just another thrown out there line that feels like it's going "I know I know Matt Smith looks like a baby next to Alex Kingston and they have no chemistry, but stop complaining about it!!!" it's almost deep but not quite

COMPLEXITY: so the thing about the angels is that M*ffat invented them, right? and then he brought them back again, and now he's brought them back for a third time (feat. statue of liberty)

but way back in the very first episode of them a few things were established

. the angels feed on temporal energy -- sending someone back in time to live out their days . Martha and the Doctor are sent back in time, but with the Tardis aren't stuck there . they can be defeated by making them look at each other (or, I imagine but have never seen confirmed, with a sledge-hammer)

I think that's it pretty much. (sidenote, I heard that M*ffat didn't come up with "make them look at each other" and had no idea how to finish the episode, but that it's Gatiss idea? would have to search to confirm, but ooh, not-even-a-conspiracy -- would explain why M*ffat didn't ever bring it back, although he's not brought back his own Stuff on occasion as well)

so does M*ffat continue on the throughline of the angels? well, we know he doesn't because in s5 we saw them moving, which was a shame, considering the fun filmic idea that the camera in s3 functioned as another eye.

ah well, does the apartment make sense?

soooort of? I'm confused about logistics like... food. which may seem pedantic, but I feel like it's one of the many things that makes it hard to suspend my disbelief

I also realised that it sort of hinted that this whole set-up was very bad no good and was making time all squiggly, because of so many temporal mishaps, but it didn't go into it enough for it to feel like it was anything but a quick handwavy explanation for why you should keep suspending your disbelief no matter what happens, and still doesn't explain... the statue of liberty

almost had me with it, thinking this was why the statue of liberty was there because it was meant to be wrong, but actually no it doesn't make sense and worse, it doesn't need to be there, so that's... that

mmm, angel in a graveyard, I guess, but the thing that is a thing. The Thing. is yes, the angels are scary in a sense (so scary to Amy that she thought one of the spooky rooms in The God Complex with angels in them was for her), but arguably (subjectively) they were good villains because of their one-off appearance. do something kinda spooky and never try to explain more, leave it there as a little ooooh

bring it back over and over and you have to start getting into proper lore and you're Thing has to be strong enough to be able to hold that pressure, and to be honest. the angels aren't a good choice for that. they're very unwieldy when you get too close to them as concepts, especially when you start to pile a whole bunch of them into one tower block

New York, city that never sleeps, I get it, single line going "it's because everyone is secretly afraid of spooky things and so an eye has to be open at all times" eh but it's not quite enough

lot of sets for no reason, we could have cut the evil rich guy, he's not important to the story

and of course, the crux... why can't the Doctor just pick up Amy and Rory from the past? written in stone? my guy, you were declared dead for the whole of last season! again, I kind of get what's happening here, but it's kind of "inventing new rules for the plot" rather than established story rules informing the plot

the more you think about this episode, the more it doesn't quite fit together, and the more it feels like one big, overly complicated way of writing Amy out of the story, when she could have been out of the story at any point between here and The God Complex

not every companion leaving has to be a big tragedy, sometimes it's just the sadness of knowing peoples lives are going in a different direction from you, and that's exactly how The God Complex ends

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: so technically yes, this is the last episode of the Ponds so there's a whole bunch of stuff, however I would argue that not much changes one way or another from season 6

Amy and Rory still love each other (The Dalek Asylum was stupid and offered us nothing else on them that actually mattered), they're still planning to leave at some point, and they live a life

moreover that life is no more tragic than, again, The God Complex, because one doesn't really have a sense of the things they've left behind -- yes, Rory has a dad now (seen in two episodes) and he's honestly not a bad character, but he's not really firmly established in any way and might as well not exist, but for a bit of "oh that's nice"

Amy never had parents or family really (fight me M*ffat), and they left Leadworth with all its non-characters and live in London with a further bunch of non-characters

them leaving to live their life in the past is no more ungrounded than the life that was written for them in the present, in all its "I'm a Kissogram no a Model no a... Travel Log Reporter..." undefined lack of glory

also River Song doesn't travel with the Doctor because Alex Kingston can't commit to a whole season and so River Song just flat out turns him down, which is very funny in a sort of "does this make sense for the characters apparent inherent tragedy of not having enough time," kind of way -- should've just not said anything (especially not "one psychopath per Tardis is enough don't you think" SERIOUSLY M*ffat????)

and I think that's the problem in the end. post-God Complex has tried to justify Amy's and Rory continued meaning in this story but it's just not managed to do it. it feels like an overextended coda, with one relatively fun entry (The Power Of Three), and five stories that don't need to be there and give us scraps of things that might be important at some point in the future (such as the Doctor shouldn't travel alone for extended periods of time, but we already know this!)

also Brian... does the Doctor ever tell Brian, whom he had this seemingly deep conversation with about not losing Amy and Rory and bringing them back, that he will never see his son again?

COMPANIONS MATTER: yeah, I guess. I mean the whole book is written by River Song who's semi a companion, Amy and Rory jump off a roof which creates a paradox, which breaks the angels hold on the block (do they wink out of existence or are they still there or???)

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: this episode is more about the Doctor than the Ponds really, although he doesn't do much, just runs around, so...

in some ways we're anti-godlike-doctor in that there's a whole bunch of laws the Doctor suddenly can't break, despite... doing so... previously... notably in fact in the preceding season

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh got nothing. it's about the angels and it does weird shit their lore, but it's a surprisingly small episode on the whole, considering it's a companion's final setpiece -- not that it has to be massive (The God Complex, my preferred final episode for Amy and Rory is also in many ways a simple episode), but it's interesting for M*ffat

“SEXINESS”: so we've got the Doctor being into book!River, an ongoing joke with the word "yowza," a flirting scene when River and the Doctor first reunite (again, fascinatingly undercut by River later saying he "has the face of a twelve year old")

and an early scene where Amy asks Rory if she has lines around her eyes and him being "afraid" of telling her yes

it's not so bad on the whole, shockingly chill considering this is written by M*ffat

INTERNAL WORLD: one of M*ffat's biggest consistent weaknesses is that he eschews the "boring" details of making a place seem real, in favour of a plot just going at breakneck speeds without waiting around to see if it makes sense -- if you keep going very fast, nobody can see behind the curtain (unless you're actually breaking down the episode in which case... ah)

but yeah, they're in New York I guess, that's about it

POLITICS: there's not much in the way of overt politics once again, and honestly not much of anything else either. I guess one can pick up on a lack of things, but tbh there's so much else to pick at in this episode, a lack of interest in pre-WWII New York would have required an interest in world building at the minimum, and obviously that's not a thing in this episode, so much as it's a series of vibes (and you cannot coast on vibes alone forever)

FULL RATING: 47/100 (if I can count….)

So how do we leave the Ponds on the whole? it's got a few arresting scenes, Rory and Amy jumping off a roof together, the Doctor making a sad face while reaching for Amy

the rest of the episode is kind of there. neither the worst M*ffat has written, nor thaaat good. some good concepts that are under-written, a bit of shoddy lore-continuation and world-building

a big question for me at this point is where to end the Amy & Rory plot so that it fits going into the next stage of events (Clara). because The Power Of Three is quite fun, and might function as a coda (acknowledging they have a couple more adventures and then they drift out of the Doctor's life). but definitely, The God Complex is the ending for me