#the way i think about it i havent really lived such a bad life
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constantly holding back sad & pathetic things about me bc i dont want to bring down the mood
#i think people think its a lot worse than it actually is#for example if i tell people about my experience with schools#being punished for not speaking/not making eyecontact#going to a school that got shut down bc it was a very unsafe place for a bit#lots of bullies#it all sounds very bad#but really i didnt mind most of it#of all the bullying only one period of bullying actually bothered me#the rest i did not care#and i never have#mostly i am just left with a lot of memories i cant really tell people about without getting some variation of#'im so sorry that happened to you' or 'are you okay?'#im totally fine ive just had a lot of objectively awful things happen to me#but i didnt really mind most of these things#im not annoyed at peoples reactions really#im just annoyed that so many of my memories get a reaction like that?#the way i think about it i havent really lived such a bad life#but i know that a lot of this stuff couldve affected me very badly#it just didnt#like yeah there were knives around on my old playground#& i watched my friends get injured often at that school#but also it was fine#yeah a dude repeatedly pissed on my favourite scarf until i stopped wearing it#that was just a little annoying though#idk maybe i should be more affected#but im not#which is quite nice :)#mine
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#personal#it feels like im not allowed to complain about my own life on my own blog#or at least that if im allowed to that it seems very firstworld problem very selfish very not appropriate with all thats going on#that people will and do think less of me for expressing my own sadness and frustrations because theres no way it compares#to a lot of peoples very big and very real problems#but im so fucking sick of being poor and small. all ive had to eat today is 2min noodles roughly 10 hours ago#and all ill get tomorrow is a bowl of 2min noodles but ittl be another 15 or so hours until its the most reasonable to eat that#thats the real girlmath and then thats the last of my noodles. that leaves me with one (1) small tin of tuna#which might end up being tonights intermediary food if i really cant wait 15 nore hours for my next noodles but is supposed to be#the one meal of the day after tomorrow. so if i eat it too soon then i have even more time that i just dont fucking eat#im so sick to death of being in this position. like its literally killing me and theres fuck all i can do to make it better#ive tried. and i try and i try and i try but i can never afford anything#my landagent keeps sending me textx asking when theyll see a patment for my $50 water bill#i have to stop myself from texting back every time. youll see payment when im not spending literally 75% of my pay on rent alone#when i can afford to buy food and bills at the same time. whn i dont feel like kms-ing would be better than paying you my rent every frtnite#i crave a burger so bad i cant make myself do any tasks. i cant start or continue any crafts or chores because all im thinking about#is a burger like a blorbo rotating in my mind alongside the background noise that i wont get a burger and will only get noodles but not for#hours. a whole days worth of hours almost#my shitawful roomate is back and i have to play nice but he gives me the same feelings my abusive mother did. im scared to leave my room#in the safeplace house ive spent the last two years building for myself. this feels awful. things were all going so right and now#all of a sudden theyre all going as wrong as possible and im struggling so much. with no one to help. no one cares enough to help#the few people i do have are wrapped up in their own lives. which i get. but it doesnt take away the hurt of dealing with it all alone again#lot of momma trauma coming up with the end of eclipse season and i thought i was handling it. now i just feel fucking awful all the time#like ik healing isnt linear but the roomate triggers so hard things i thought i had processed and was on top of#would a burger fix that? no but itd atleast give me something to emotionally lean on for strength though it. but all ive got is noodles#24 hour apart one meal per day noodles. and tomorrow is my last pack. my only solace lately is that ive been invited to my first ever rave#or my first real rave anyway ive only been to one other 'edm event' that was not really a rave of any scale it was like 25 people#but its a halloween rave so im hoping for spooky fun dancetimes at least theres that. im out of data and spotifyprem so i havent been able#to take my silly little mental health walks bc theres zero chance im doing that without music and so itll be noce to get outside fr the rave#anyway. im doing very poorly i appreciate you few who reached out while i wasnt active but i expect ill continue to do poorly for some time
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maybe it's time for me to move on.............
#its been two months since the end of an eight month relationship and i havent so much as looked at a hot person in that time#i mean i've got a queer event in a couple weeks and i think thats The Place to meet someone because. realistically my gender is just-#-too complicated to date a straight girl#or a gay guy#so.#i've also learned my lesson about dating people i'm close friends with because that did not work out for me at all#really i just need like. a younger reincarnation of rafael silva to appear because he is the only person who will ever live up to my-#-obviously very high standards (i would date anyone who is morally decent and dresses nice if i thought they were interested)#while we're on this matter actually people who put no effort into how they dress is such a fucking ick#i went out to this thing a few weeks ago and there was a guy my age there and he asked me to dance (it was an Old Persons party hes a-#-family friends its a long story) but he was literally in a hoodie and i was wearing like a 400$ formal outfit#like man absolutely the fuck not this is a Nice Event why are you wearing *denim* what are you DOING#is it a bad idea to go to an event with the mindset of finding someone to be with by the way? because that is kind of how i'm thinking-#-about it but at the same time if i *dont* find anyone there that i connect with then that's fine. i mean all in good time cause at some-#-point i'm going to meet someone. i have enough faith in both my religion and my own person that i will meet someone who i like and who-#-likes me it just depends when that happens. idk i just feel like all my friends in relationships atm are dating to break up but i want to-#-find the person i'm going to marry someday. because i dont want to miss a single second with someone who will be the love of my life#ughhhhh idk#wait i just realised how long these tags are. shit i'm so single lmao#txt !!
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every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen
#the funniest thing is is that i truly believe he thought he was being 100% convincing. that that's normal behavior for a completely straight#completely allosexual man#light is fucking awful and i hate him but also there's nuance to him. and sometimes i can get a little like. oh thinking about his life#before the series. specifically factoring in my headcanons about him being gay aroace and autistic and stuff. ppl have written some rlly#good fics surrounding those topics.... but yeah thats not even canon stuff but i dont care#anyways its not in a way of making excuses for how he is i just think it adds more to his character#hes total garbage but i think theres really interesting stuff with him when it comes to how he's.... VERY disconnected from others#just in general. he's like aware of how to act ''normal'' on like the most textbook surface level without being like. Aware enough to#be able to make it more convincing. and as ridiculous as it is i do see some of myself in him in that sense#also that person who said light and L is just autistic guy who's been masking his entire life vs autistic guy who's never masked in his#entire life. LITERALLY EXACTLY. genuinely perfect way to describe them they are both so similar when it comes to this#but the ways they go about it are very different. light has been playing the part of the perfect son his whole life. L doesnt try to change#himself for anyone and doesnt care when people think hes weird. both of them arent very socially aware and havent had any real friends#their whole lives. its such a fascinating parallel between them#i could go on a whole fucking thing about how light was pretending to be someone he's not around his family and at school and everything#long before he got the death note BUT. i wont. at least not right now#jesus christ how did i go from laughing about him with the magazine to this. my bad#derailed my own damn post. idk swagever#will say rq tho. watched a vid on youtube that pointed out how light expected his family to think nothing of the fact that he's gone to#such drastic measures to hide his diary when making the plan with hiding the death note which is like#that level of dedication would NOT be normal. so the fact that light expects his family to think nothing of it......#i mean you could read that as light just once again being socially unaware. but it could also imply that light's family kind of Knows#he's hiding something and just doesn't address it. (he's gay. im talking about him being gay)#the video also referenced this comic that i didnt rb cause the actual premise of it (lawlight wedding) is um.#not at all my kind of thing. BUT it was light describing himself as a house with a basement when his family sees him as a one story house#and i thought that was such a cool analogy#ANYWAYYYSSSS i need to go to bed. thanks if you read my ramblings#serena.txt#death note posting
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current state of politics really got me swerving wildly between "yes I want to present as a man" and "oh god is this even worth it maybe I'm not even really trans" and it's bringing me to my limit
#damien.txt#sorry its like 5 am and i havent slept and wanna vent so. here inam#i really do be having a wild time bc ill have like. weeks at a time where ill be like. wait a second. what if im not trans actually#okay well. never in a 'im 100% not trans' way but in a 'maybe i shouldnt transition' way#and then ill have a day where i wake up and go. oh. i think that feeling is just coming from fear about. the current state of trans issues#because oh my FUCKING GOD am i scared like 24/7 bc of that shit#and so like. then im like. maybe i really am like. actually transmasc. fr. bc i like. literally have been feeling it my whole life.#and then i wake up a couple weeks later back at the beginning like hmm....... but..... what if....#and im so tired of not knowing!! it's fucking exhausting questioning what the fuck is happening w me every 2 seconds#and im being dramatic abt it but idk. i think its a symptom of neurodivergence or something bc im like. so so scared abt being trans atm#at a level that is. certainly unhealthy.#and it really feels like something that is inhibiting me from doing things in life which is like. upsetting y'know!#but at the same time. the concept of going thru life as my birth gender is... bad. sort of inconceivable at this point.#and this is particularly hard bc like. really going back and forth on making decisions abt taking T. bc when i get in these spirals#abt maybe not being trans. i get the urge to not take it. but like. i cant fluctuate w a medicine like that that much!#but at the same time when i go back to being like oh yeah transmasc... my brain is like cool. take T again. so. fuck me i guess.#idk man. im just like. i just want to live my life without being perceived by others actually#my true gender is no one's business <3 thanks#i am. tired.
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fun wednesday night activity: thinking about all the ppl who left me and how much better their lives are because of doing so
#like damn. i really am a person that only makes ppls lives worse!!#every single person thats stopped being my friend is so so much happier than they ever were being my friend!!!#nobody fucking misses me or thinks of me or regrets anything!!! im a problem and a burden and a causer of harm!!!#i like to imagine ppl that used to talk to me read this blog bc they want to know whats going on in my life and miss me too#but ultimately i know that isnt true like if they follow me they might see a few posts but no one is looking at all of them#i stopped telling ppl what was happening in my life and they stopped caring. bc probably they did not care in the first place tbh#i still follow all these fucking girls from hs on social media and keep track of whats going on in their lives#they havent thought of me in years i guarantee it#and im still sitting here at age 23 thinking about how much better my life would be if i hadnt been so awful at 17 and lost all my friends#anyway sorry for this annoying dramatic post im just like. so tired of not feeling loved no matter what i do and how hard i try#no one will ever care about me the way i care about them and it will never be good for anyone to have me in their life#and im so fucking tired of being this fucking intolerable and awful of a person#i just sit here every day trying to convince myself i dont need to talk to anyone or have friends to survive#but like thats not true lmao i am so lonely i miss talking to ppl so much but everyones moved on#everyone saw what a bad person i am and how much i hurt ppl and cut me off and moved on again#and this is just going to keep happening to me every time i make friends or try to not be alone bc who i am is the problem and i cant fix i#anyway sdlfkjsd sorry i know i sound pathetic and ridiculous jdskf i just need to put thoughts somewhere#and this stupid blog is the only place i have to say anything bc im so completely fucking alone
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𝗔 𝗣𝗜𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗘’𝗦 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗥𝗘𝗧 || 𝗝. 𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗞
pairings: james hook x mermaid!reader
part 2 -> VK GONE SOFT || J.HOOK
summary: the times that hook came to see you and the time he didn’t. A forbidden love between a royal and a rebel, a pirate and a mermaid.
one shot; wc: 1.8k
genre: angst, fluff
main masterlist j.hook masterlist
a/n: you can imagine the reader as young Ariel or the daughter of Ariel, it doesnt really change much.
James tried to be as subtle as he can, cautiously looking around incase any one of the vk's were to see him, he wouldn't want to imagine what would happen. Dont get him wrong, he doesn't care about what anyone thinks, but this is his friends, the VK'S, dangerous people, that would hurt anyone who gets in their way.
Finally reaching the woods far behind Merlin Academy, he walked calmly through the forest, whistling as he neared the enchanted lake. No one comes to the lake during the week, since it's quite far from campus, but it would be filled with student wanting to take a swim during the weekends.
His chest filled with glee when he heard the splashing of water, grinning to himself, as he rushed to get to the lake faster.
When he arrived, the view he saw made all his problems go away, there she was, in all her glory, swimming around, humming a song.
The girl didn’t noticed him arrive, too busy in her own world to hear the sound of his chained boots.
He walked closer to the water, leaning into it "Hello there, my Princess" he said in a low voice, reaching his right hand towards the startled girl "James! You came!" The girl cheerfully said before swimming towards her beloved pirate.
Now face to face, Hook carefully touched her chin before leaning in, giving her a tender kiss.
Pulling away, hook asked "i hope you havent been waiting long for me" as he stood up, carefully taking off his clothes, leaving only his boxer before diving into the water.
"I haven’t, dont worry, at least you're here now" y/n replied as she hugged her lover.
"Good. Bridget pissed Uliana off again and it took a lot longer than expected to calm her down" Hook said hugging her back, thinking about Uliana was starting to stress him out again and his girlfriend noticed it.
"Well, dont think about her now, think about me instead" she said flirtingly, causing the boy to chuckle before kissing her again.
Y/n didnt like Uliana at all, while she wasn't a target of her bullying, she felt really bad for poor Bridget, who just wanted to be friends with her, but instead get made fun of. Other than that, she didnt like the fact that she always stresses her boyfriend out.
The sun was already setting when the couple got out of water and put their clothes back on.
They layed on the ground cuddled up, y/n leaning on James chest as they watched the sunset.
"You think we'll be able to date freely, one day James?"
"One day, we will."
The next time Hook was about to sneak away to meet his lovely mermaid, he got stopped by Maleficent.
"Mali- hi! Why arent you with Hades?" Hook chuckled nervously.
"Drop the act, Hook." Maleficent sneered.
"Wat are you talking about?" Hook was getting more nervous by the second.
"I know you're off to meet that little mermaid of yours, you're not slick" she scoffed.
"I have no idea what you're talking about"
"Im not dumb, i see you staring at her every time she's around." she scoffed.
"I-"
"-and i'm not the only one who noticed, Uliana is getting more suspicious every day, i suggest you stop seeing her, James, just for a little while." Maleficent said, her voice getting softer the more she observes her friend.
If Hook was nervous then, he was panicking now.
"What? No- i cant possibly-" Hook stumbled upon his words.
"James, i have no problem with you seeing her, if you're happy with her then I'm happy for you, but you know how Uliana is, she finds out and she'll make her life a living hell before she makes yours one too. It's just until Uliana stops suspecting" Maleficent pats his back before leaving him alone.
Hooks stands at the exit of the Academy as he stared in the air, conflicted.
Y/n was getting worried, its been hours since she and Hook was supposed to meet, she's been out of the water since well before, just sitting down, staring into the forest, wondering if maybe Hook was just a late, bc of Uliana again, but as the sky got darker, there was still no sign of him.
Disappointed, she started her way back to the Academy.
The next day, during her free period, she roamed the halls of the school, in search of James, knowing he skips almost all of his classes. They barely ever meet within school grounds, too scared to be seen by others.
She stops as she notice a hooked figure sat against one of the trees in the courtyard, happy, y/n walked closer as she yelled "james! Where were you-" she stopped herself when her dear boyfriend, saw her and instead of greeting her, he rushed away from her.
Weeks goes by and everyday, y/n slowly lost hope for them. Everytime she tried to talk to him and waited for him, her heart broke a little bit more.
As Bridget sang around the courtyard, giving out cupcakes along with the two new kids, Chloe and Red, she sat on a bench melancholically.
"What?" The girl watched with a broken heart as James disappear from her view.
As the VK's made their entrance, y/n stared at her boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend now, she assumes, with longing eyes.
On the other hand, Hook was trying not to look at her, afraid he might break and rush to her.
As Uliana chased Bridget and Ella out the courtyard with everyone else following, he hesitated, finally staring at his beloved mermaid, making eye contact with her after so long.
He watched as y/n stood up and started approaching him.
They stood face to face with each other, not saying anything.
"I- i'm so sor-" Hook raised his hands to cup her face when a familiar loud grunt was heard.
"you need to go, please." Hook managed to push her away before Uliana and the vk's saw her.
"SHE'LL PAY FOR THIS" was the last thing y/n heard before she left.
The night of Castlecoming arrived and y/n didnt even want to go, but the dress she bought for this night was too expensive for her to not come. It was a dark red color to match Hook's suit for the night, it was supposed to be a surprise for him, her wearing his favorite color, but right now she regretted it.
She walked past happy students chatting about how excited they were, she wanted to roll her eyes at them, but she knew she was just bitter so she just sighed.
She didnt know what to do, she just stood there in the middle of the crowd not engaging with anyone, until Bridget came with Ella and greeted her.
"Y/N! Did you go with somrone?" Bridget said very happily, and hugged her, as if they were close, but she knew that was just how Bridget is.
"Oh! Hi, Bridget! Hi, Ella! And uh, no, no one asked me to be their date so im free for the night" y/n said, trying to hide the disappointment, but failed as Bridget noticed her expression.
"Oh...it's alright y/n, no one asked me too, i came here with Ella, you should hang with us" Bridget offered as Ella nodded her head.
"Oh no no, i wouldn't want to impose"
"You won't be, you'd make this night more bearable for me, trust me" Ella said jokingly making the other two laugh.
"Ask her to dance later" Maleficent whispered to him.
The three chatted for the whole night, y/n had fun just chatting with them, not even noticing a certain hooked man entering and staring at her from across the dance floor.
"What?" Hook asked confused.
"Ask her to dance later, dont worry about it" Maleficent smiled.
"What about-" Hook started.
"We'll take care of Uliana" she winked.
"We?"
"Yeah, 𝘸𝘦" Maleficent nodded her head towards Hades and Morgie, who nodded back at him with knowing smirks.
Hooks smiled back at them "Thanks, Mali"
As the night comes to its end, a final dance is presented to the students.
Hook went back to staring at the mermaid girl, with a new found feeling.
The dancefloor got cleared, only Charming, the crowned prince, remained as a slow song starts playing.
𝘚𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦
Everyone waited expectantly for him to approach someone.
Charming approached the three girls. Bridget and Y/n pushing Ella towards the prince.
𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘦
𝘐'𝘮 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘨𝘭𝘰𝘸, 𝘮𝘮
"Ella, may i have this dance"
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸
Y/n looked at the newly formed couple in the middle of the dance floor with so much happines yet envy. As she stared at them, she noticed a pair of eyes staring at her from across the dance floor.
"Yes" Ella said as charming lead her in the middle of the dance floor.
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘦𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦
It was as if the world stopped and it was just the two of them
All Hook could think was how beautiful she was, in that dress, in his favorite color.
Maleficent noticed his stare "go" she whispered.
Hook looked at her and she smiled at him, before turning back to the others.
"This is so boring, Uli, lets just go before i die of boredom" Maleficent groaned.
"Exactly, i wanna rip my ears out, this song is awful" Hades complained as he wraps his arms around Maleficent
"Yeah, Uli, i thought this was gonna be fun but it's just torture" Morgie whined.
"You're right." Uliana rolled her eyes before she turned away and went for the exit not caring who follows her.
"Go get her" Hades patted his back before leaving with the others.
No one else went to the dance floor, all endeared by the unexpected pair, thats why everyone gasped when the one and only James Hook, invaded the dance floor but his eyes was only set on one person, his beloved.
Y/n stared as Hook approached her.
The two stared at each other.
𝘪'𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘺
"May i have this dance, my love?" Hook asked in a soft voice.
Y/n just stared at him with an open mouth, before Bridget nudge her.
"Yes." She let out a breathe.
Hook beamed as he kissed her hand before leading her to the dance floor.
The two stared at each other with so much love and longing.
𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘭𝘦
"I love you, y/n l/n" Hook whispered.
"I love you too, James Hook" y/n said back with no hesitation, before they share their first kiss in front of everyone.
𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧
They didn't care when everyone gasped at the even more unexpected pair, all they cared was they were finally in each others arms again.
There's still so much they need to talk about, but that can wait for tomorrow, tonight is for them.
"So...this is love"
James said as he stared at her.
#hook x reader#james x reader#james hook x reader#hook#captain hook#james hook#descendants x reader#rise of red#descendants: the rise of red#joshua#joshua colley#mermaid#captain hook x reader#flamingoofeathers#hook descendants#captain hook descendants#james hook descendants
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hey uh. if requests r open. would it b possible to request a follow up to that self-aware-twi fic. if not thats ok i just wanted u to know i havent stopped thinking about it since i read it. altered my brain chemistry, touch-starved twilight princess link my beloved, etc etc. ur writing is top-tier <3<3<3
I think the best part about this ask is - I've had this written since early January. I actually wrote part two as a birthday gift for a good friend of mine @glowyskull <33
So this is more just me finally posting it sfbgdfbgdb. it's also funny to think that the twilight fic is my most popular fic now considering how the self aware au really started as just a really guiltily self indulgent fic - something fun to write that I didn't think could get as big as it did on my blog. and I'm glad that you liked it so much <333 whimpery touch starved twilight princess link is just so AUGH love him so
[masterlist]
“Oh you’re finally wakin up then darlin’.”
“...hmm?”
“C’mon darlin’, you can’t have forgotten what happened earlier already? Can you? Your fever - cold isn’t that bad so you can't have…”
Who’s rambling… and why does it sound so familiar? Wait does that mean - is everything that happened earlier all real then, did link really crawl out of my tv just because he was lonely. Because I left him there, left him all on his own to rot in his own solitude.
“Link? You - that - everything was real then? All of it?”
“All of it darlin’, from how I got out to how I’m never gonna leave ya.”
“Huh..? I could’ve sworn that you didn’t even mention anything like that…”
“Mhm, well you’re ill and still a little out of it darlin’ so you probably just forgot, you did agree though.”
It does sound like something that I would agree to, I mean I’m the reason that he’s sentient. It would be cruel of me to throw him to the other wolves, he isn’t from here but besides even that, he isn’t from here. He doesn’t know how this world works, it would be worse than sending a dog to a shelter. It would be his death sentence for certain, and after all that I put him through for a simple pause in playing. The way he’s petting my hair like this though, it’s enough to simply just wash the rest of my worries away, if I could I would spend the rest of my life right here easily.
“About your illness though, do you have any red potion anywhere?”
“No, no things like that don’t exist here link and the painkillers I have aren’t worth moving for.”
“If you’re sure… I’ll go and get them for you the second you change your mind.”
“You don’t even know where I keep them.”
His hand paused at that, causing me to let out an involuntary whine. I couldn’t even think to stop it with how it slipped out instantly, which he seemed fond of. Cuddling me closer to his chest and resting his head on top of mine, with what felt like a giant smile on his face.
“I can look for them, It’s not like I won’t need to learn where everything is now that I’m living with ya… besides I’ve already put you through so much stress when you’re not well.”
“You didn’t mean to link, how could you have known I was sick?”
“...I don’t know - I just - it shouldn’t have been hard to know with how you looked when you opened the game. I’m sorry love I just wasn’t even thinking I just wanted to be out, but I should’ve been more considerate to you.”
With how silent he is in the game you could never have guessed how much he likes to ramble, it’s the second or third time it’s happened since he crawled out of the glas- the glass. Are his bandages holding up, he seems fine but he’s not from here, any infection could be deadly. He wouldn’t even see it coming with how much he’s fawning over my comfort right now.
“Link?” “Yes, darlin’?”
Oh wow, he - well he’s whipped already. Is it real love or has all that time trapped alone twisted him into this. I’d look into getting him therapy but… if he mentioned the truth then it would be a matter of seconds until he’d be diagnosed with something inaccurate. No one. No one at all would ever believe that a video game character actually broke out of their game - especially not someone like Link falling for an exhausted student like me.
“Are you feeling alright? You have so many cuts and wounds right now.”
“It’s nothing that’s worse than anything else I’ve ever had. They do feel more real though.”
“...real?”
“They feel like real wounds, not something that could be healed away in seconds and they’re just tiny scrapes.”He sounds so giddy as he’s talking about being hurt - it’s unnerving when he starts holding me even tighter when he’s saying it. I don’t think I’m ever going to be getting away from him ever again… if I wanted to. Why shouldn’t I take a chance at having a relationship though. He cares about me - he really does even if it’s unhinged - it would be so nice to come home to him, to be able to spoil him and be spoilt by him. Even being held like this feels so unreal, so impossible that I shouldn’t be here with him. So much so that I want to stay here and fall back asleep without any argument. Didn’t he even say he wanted to be my lover? Why look over a gift too closely?
#I waited to post it cause I wanted to get permission to post the fic#I dm bday fics to my friends lol#cause I'll use their name/ocs name instead of a stand in yk?#so this is the first posted of them#moss✦writes#yandere linked universe#linked universe#yandere link#yandere linked universe x reader#linked universe x reader#link x reader#lu twilight#self aware au#self aware loz#sentient au#linked universe twilight#queueueueueueueueueueueueueue
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the way you write the relationships the batfam have with each other is so delicious to me like AUGHH YOUR BRAIN!!! it’s so good. if you were willing, i'd love to hear more of your thoughts on the relationship cass and jason have / steph and jason (staring at you with my big wet eyes)
i havent read much from any of the characters and have seen large parts of fandom say that they would all get along/they’d be so close/besties, so the ideas i’ve read in your works (wolf king and persephone) are very interesting!!
to put it bluntly — i think they’d fucking hate him.
part of that is, weirdly, people tend to devalue tim’s relationships with steph and cass. like, steph and tim have never been normal about each other. cass and tim spent most of the nineties and early aughts jumping back and forth to each other’s comics. in what world would either of them be chill with the guy who hurt him (and damian) like that?
it also flattens cass’s ideology and steph’s history with bruce’s mission. cass has struggled with engaging with murderers because she’s sees them as herself, and their actions as her own actions. she is reflected in each of them, but she ultimately values life above all else which is why her personal connection to the bat is so interesting. she would not have sympathy or time for jason todd, someone who uses bruce’s mission to hurt others, to take lives, and attack the people she loves. like…. please be serious. she would not be hanging out w the person who was happy when bludhaven got nuked.
same deal with steph— something that really annoys me is when people act as though the “bad robin club” would be a bonding moment between steph and jason. not just because steph has a more developed comic run than jason has, with legitimate obstacles to her getting recognised as a hero, but also because again, this guy is doing the same shit as her dad. why would she like him after he went after tim multiple times? whenever someone draws this comparison i think of this page —
the fact that steph values bruce’s mission, his views on taking a life, despite being at such a profound low point is really important. i can’t believe she’d look at jason and think him admirable.
however!!!! that doesn’t mean their interactions (when reasonably in character imo) can’t be interesting!! having cass and jason interact in persephone was a lot of fun, because making him interact with someone other than bruce or dick puts him off balance. peoples fear of complex relationships with legitimate stakes makes me sad. neither cass or steph have that history with him before death, or that same image of him as a memorial, and it’s a fun thing to explore. specifically this passage from wolf-king —
like yeah!! neither of them would fuck with him!!! let him be the unpopular brother!!
#so sweet ily#this is tragically not reflected in the comics but….. in MY heart he’d get drop kicked#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#batgirl#batfam#dc comics#the ask and the answer
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Yandere! Kalim x reader, but yandere but they're bad at their jobs au. Like one minute Kalim act all sadistic and dark then the next thing when reader asked if he wants some pets he went to his usual happy sunshine puppy that demands pets
yes~~ presious baby boi just wants love but he so spoil x3
what i also like to think about with yandere kalim is that he knows right and wrong but its so water down for him that "he just cant help it ^^
For fun, im making this into a modern mafia au ^^
~Just trying to help~
Yan!Boss!Kalim x Worker!mc
Warnings: power dymanmic, mafia mention, violence mention, nsfw hints, death?, manipulation
~~~~~
The Asim, they are known for their wealth and their trades. They're a super big powerful family with a lot of people (both loyal and not loyal) under them. They kind of give "untouchable kings" vibes. Theyre still really nice to their "people", you just don't see them a lot, or at all really. The only way to really "talk to them" is by talking to someone in their circle but there are layers into that circle. some people thinks that their family is shady, like the rich people act is a persona to hide something but no one really has proof.
But you really don't have to worry about that. You have your own stuff to worry about, like living expenses. You were basically living on the streets, barely living. You did side jobs to get by. maybe you'll clean or maybe you'll babysit. when you were a kid, you always wanted to help people. But with your home life, money, you couldn't really get to your dreams even if you tried. you stopped school pretty early and its a little too late for you to get back into it. plus what school will accept you. you lived in a community where rich gets richer and medium class becomes poor... I guess that's where you are, what your luck...
you were heading to your next "job" place. you had to clean for a really sweet old couple, the Wrights. They couldn't afford much either but they try to help you whenever they can. Example, you clean places that they cant reach, in exchange they give you dinner, as much as they can. you always wish them good health. they are too sweet for this unfair world.
you were lost in your head, enjoying the memories and conversation you had with them. But when you to their place, you see 3 grown men towering over Mr. Wright.
"please understand.. we aren't here for trouble but your son does owe us some money. were just here to collect."
"please.. we havent seen our son in months. hes not here."
"come on, blue carb! i wanna go home! if you dont tell us-"
"Floyd, we aren't here for threats."
"hmm..? oh my... what do we have here?"
the light hair man turn to you with a very scary smile. You didnt have time to take even a step when one of the men grabs you by the arm. he had teal hair with a black stirp. he had awful smile that showed off his sharp teeth.. the smile looked every threatening..
"were just here to talk about business, why dont you scram shrimpy."
you started to tremble and turned to Mr. Wright. he gave you a weak smile and moved his hand like to shoo you away.
"go on dear. it'll be okay."
you gulped in terror but you dug your heels into the ground. if you didn't, who knew what these shady guys would do to this kind old couple.
"h-he.. said he hasn't seen his son! n-ow get out of here before i call the police!!"
"..."
".."
"..."
everyone got quiet.. no one moved.. the men seem stun by your outburst. the man, that was holding you, didn't seem to like your outburst and gripped your arm, harder. it hurts..!
"tck.. im getting really annoyed, shrimpy... Should break your arm to show you-"
"actually Floyd, i have a better idea."
the light hair man walks up to you and hands you a card.
"i am Azul Ashengrotto. i run a cafe called the Mostro Lounge and Mr. Wright's son has owe us a pretty penny~"
The way he spoke gave you chills. You hated it. it was too sweet when you knew that the words he spoke are laced with poison.
"What if-..."
You had to take a long deep breath, you're risking a lot for even thinking this... but you had to. you were the only able person to protected these people who gave you more than you've asked.
"what if... i worked for you..? i'll work for you, pay off the owe money and you'll have to leave Mr. and Mrs. Wright alone! Deal..?"
the light hair man pauses.. then smiled. he put his hand out for a handshake.
"Its a Deal."
when you took his hand, that was it. you had to say goodbye to your home away from home. you gave mr.wright a smile and left with the strange men...
~~~
the next few weeks you learned what they did, kind of, and what they needed of you. they didn't tell you 100% of everything but you were supposed to be their servant, or an errand boy, or something like that?
the job wasn't bad at all. you cleaned, get anything they need, run things for them. sometimes they call you for... personal reasons. In exchange you get 3 meals a day and a comfortable room. which honestly, you weren't complaining. before, you would have one meal a day and even sleep on either a hard floor or a gross mattress. At this rate, after you finish paying off the Wright's debt, you might just stay here.
sometimes the job brings pretty scary people that show up out of nowhere. they often had big weapons to their side, some would have the weapons ready and loaded. Jade, Floyd, or Azul often gets you out of the way and most times tell you to cover your ears and close your eyes. sometimes they have you clean up their messes after these scary men... "leave." you knew better but you cant really say or do anything about it so.. you just don't question it.
after a month, you thought you get used to your new home life now but- you accidentally ran into someone or someone ran into you.
"oh my-! are you okay? im so sorry!! i-"
"no no! its okay. i should have been more careful."
the mysterious man helped you up. he had bright red eyes and white white that complement his dark skin every nicely. he had a black dress shirt and a red suit with gold accents, red dress pants to match. when he helped you up, you notice he's hands are really soft. big contrast to your hands.
"I'm sorry again."
he was about to run away but stopped and sheepishly turn and smile at you. it kind of reminded you of a happy teenage.
"actually... do you know where the Mostro lounge is? i... i think im lost. hehe." he scratched the back of his head. the embrassement on his face was slowly growing on you because he kept smiling.
it was kinda weird to see someone around here with such a bright smile..? like an genuine smile or maybe hes just a good actor or something..? you cant say.
"oh.. its a left then a right." you poked.
"kk! thank you~"
he turned and ran away again. you were about to leave but he stopped you again.
"can you actually walk with me there..? i asked directions before and got lost.. hehe~ pretty please?"
with his charming smile, you couldnt help but smile back.
"okay, follow me."
during your walk there, he asked a few question. they were harmless questions, enough. favorite colors? favorite food? favorite animals? where have you been? favorite places to go? etc.
when you got there a tall man with dark skin and long beautiful black hair rushed to your side, well more like to the other man.
He had the same outfit as the white hair man but they both wore it differently. which wasnt a bad thing. it compliment their personalities. Like jade, floyd, and azul do with their suits too.
"Kalim! where have you been?! we just left the elavoter and you were gone from my sights?! why did you-?"
"oh ya! i saw this pretty ocean theme pillows and i wanted to get some but you had my wallet hehe~ so... can i get them? they be perfect for-!"
"no. ugh..."
you felt really uncomfortable... it was like a mother scolding her kid... the black hair man looked at you. you shifted your feet uncomfortably.
"who are you? i dont remember you from our last visit?"
you raise your hands up and backed up slightly. people here are either very suspicious, they often come to see azul for his deals, or naive soul, that came for the ocean-like atmosphere.
"im just a-"
two arms snaked around you. you started to freak out. this is how you die--!!!
"shrimpy!! where's my drink~~? ive asked it for about... like 10 minutes ago~~~"
Oh! its just Floyd. he practicely moaned in your ear. it was a lot to get used to Floyd's mood swings. but you learn to avoid him when hes upset or just do want he says and not say too much. if he tries to tease you, he often gets bored and wonders to do who knows what.
"oh! hi sea snake! hi sea otter!"
"Floyd.. for the last time, stop calling us-
"hi Floyd!! haha!"
the white hair man jumped up and join the hug! you were getting crushed between these two... you were patting their backs in a way to say "okay thank you but-- that enough..!!! im dying! let me go!"
"jamil! Kalim! its great that you made it! a bit late but- i cant say im suprised."
"tsk.. hello jade... azul..."
the dark hair man, pulled the white hair man off you. it helped but Floyd is still squeezing you like he was trying to kill you, not literally... hopefully.
"ah.. its seems that you met our new hire. Jamil, Kalim, this is (mc)."
you, trying your best with the situation youre in with floyd right now, bowed your head as jade introduced you.
"hehe. we found shrimpy when we were at the Wright's place."
"did you get the money..?"
"no~ they were being stubborn but (mc) offer to pay off the money that was owed so i cant complain too much."
azul spoke and rubbed your head like a kid. you didnt like how they were talking about you like you werent there. or rather, talking about the Wrights like they were bad.. but you held your tongue. you didnt want to get them mad... especially when floyd is still holding you.
"ohh.. poor (mc). dont worry, well protect you from those mean people. im kalim, Kalim al-asim!"
"Kalim!"
"and thats jamil, Jamil Viper."
"Kalim! dont give our names to strangers! you dont even know them-"
"Well then~ we'll just have to just spend time with them!"
Kalim.. Kalim al-asim.... an Al-Asim.. Al-Asim! This smiling ray of sunlight is an Asim??
apparently your face paled because Kalim reached for your face and held your face into his hands. he gave you a giggle and smiled as he massage your cheeks in his hands.
"hehe youre so cute. after our meeting with Azul, i want to hangout with you on your break. when is it? hmm?"
you turned to Azul, he nodded his head in approval.
"i-its.. its in 2 hours from now.. sir.."
"hehe.. no need to talk so formal. just call me Kalim. And okay, on your break, meet me by the front door of the Mostro lounge, kk?
"y-yes.. kalim.."
he gave you a smile and all the 5 men started to head to Azul VIP room..
what did you get yourself into....
~~~
You've been spending a lot of your time with kalim as of late. To the point where you felt guilty for leaving work.. but you'd feel more guilty for saying no to kalim. You tried once. It was one too many.
You initially wanted to keep some distance. But with kalim's smile and charisma, you couldn't say no. Kalim always found a way to have lots of fun and he will always include you too.
Every time you came back to the Mostro lounge, floyd gives you a stink eye and a "why wasn't i invited~?" whine. Jade gives you his creepy smile and does a weird thing by leaning in and asking "did anything exciting happened~?", whatever that means. Azul doesn't seem upset at all. It made you anxious. Is he marking down your pay when you're out with kalim..? You checked your accounts and you were still getting payed for your work but.. you didn't do any work..?
You decide to talk to azul about it. You didn't want something like this be in the air, with someone as slimy as azul.. and with money no least!!
You knocked.
"Um.. azul..? Are you busy?"
You peeked through the door of Azul's office, and they vip room.
"... no. What do you need..?
he was working on some papers and he looked.. unpleased.
"I.. ill ask later."
You tried to take your leave befor-
"You wanted to ask about your pay..?"
You slowly turn to him. His face hasn't changed from that unpleased expression.
"Y-yes sir.."
Azul sighed, lend back into his chair, took off his glasses and rubbed his face as he let's out another sigh.
"Kalim is... renting you."
What..?
"And he also requested for you to still get payed because, his words.. 'they're still working.'"
He started to stare at you. You didn't think he meant it to look intimidating, because he can't see you, he doesnt have his glasses on. But it still was very unpleasant.
You were at lost of words. Kalim al-asim... is renting you..? You weren't mad but you weren't happy too. Spending time with kalim is really fun and his personality is really refreshing. But being told you were 'rented out' feels.. dehumanizing. But with your life, you can really feel anything else..
"Is that all..?"
"Yes sir.."
"Good, you may leave."
You bowed your head and left, making sure to close the door softly behind you.
What do you do now..?
~~~
Now after every visit from kalim, the moment becomes a little sour. He's paying azul to spent time with you, but why? He's an al-asim. He could get anything he wants right? Why would he spend time with a common rat like you..?
What are you to him?
"(Mc)? You okay?"
You looked up and kalim was really close to you! You jolted and lean back
"I-im okay! Its just.. work. Heh.. work just be exhausting and im just.. I'm okay!"
You smiles, you didn't notice that kalim stopped smiling.. he was still looking at you but just not smiles. it would have scared you to your core if it wasnt for you trying to change the topic by looking at the scenery. A minute past and his smile came back, brighter.
"Why don't you come with me then?"
"huh..?"
"You could live in the al-asim estate and you don't have to lift the finger! Serverts will come to your every beckon call and you get to live.. like an Asim."
As you were staring at him, lost of words, he gently took your hand. You didnt even noticed it until he pulled your hands to his lips and kissed it.
"K-kalim! I-"
Before you could finish your sentence, he stood in front of you and got on one knee.
You felt sick
"(Mc)... "
You felt dizzy
"Will you-"
This has to be a dream!!!
"Be mine?"
He sweet innocent smile made you feel sick. How can can someone so dangerous be so naive?!? You bearly knew him! He bears knew you!!
"I.. i-i have to go!!"
You ran off, back to Mostro Lounge, back to your room, leaving a sad otter left on one knee..
~~~
You were in your room for 3 days..
You weren't payed for those days but you didnt care..
You felt sick and a little guilty. Kalim looked so sad when you left him. Maybe when you see him again... you could apologize and explain yourself..? By the seven! Would he still be mad at you? Will he order for you to be erased??
You felt nausea.
You needed to get some water.
Luckily it was night time, you wouldn't likely run into floyd, jade, or azul.. maybe?
You walked through the dark halls, only using your memories and the walls to guide you.
You were lost in thought and didn't realize a figure coming up behind you. By the time you did noticed, the figure quickly over powered you and you were imbraced into darkness.
~~~~
[Before the proposal]
"Azul!!? how much does the Wrights owe!?"
Kalim bursted into Azul's office, with a tired Jamil following behind.
"ah! K-Kalim! you know you have to make an ap-"
"i know i know! this is important though!!"
Kalim rushes up to Azul's desk, slamming his hands down on to the desk and leaned over to Azul. he was like a jumping dog..
"i want to ask (mc) to marry me!!"
everyone froze and even jade and Floyd, they were walking by, looked at Kalim like he was crazy.
"Kalim! I know your father has told you about being an Al-Asim and your responsibility to your family and making an hair but not like this!!"
"come on, Jamil~ they're perfect~ they're sweet and kind. they're responsible and hard working, like father wanted. they're just... perfect!"
Kalim goes through his phone and looks at pictures of you he took when you hanging out with him and even ones he requested from Jade and Floyd, secret cameras. They vary between you working and you when you think youre alone...
Azul rubs his face and gives a long sigh.
"look kalim. Even if your display of affection is definitely... something... (mc) is still working the Wrights' debt off. if they're not here then-"
"oh! that's another amazing thing about them! they were willing to help the Wrights without even knowing what they were getting themselves into. with the amount of debt the Wrights have, (mc) would be working until they're in their 70s. Thats why i need to protect them, do they even know about the Wrights 'situation'?"
Floyd lays on the couch in the VIP room, with candy in his mouth.
"nope! Jade thought it would help (mc) stay motivated to work. you saw how upset they got whenever we talk about the Wrights. they're so cute but so obedient that they don't even asked what they did to get in their situation, HAHA! silly shrimpy~!"
Floyd laughs and Jade chimes in.
"To be fair, we did get them out of a 'dangerous situation'. what the Wrights were doing to them was shameful.. Saying their debt was all because of their son, who has been dead for 10 years, and saying they dont have money but is found actively going to clubs spending more. the fact that they're living in the poorest town, and looking like weak old people. they're fooling everyone with the act. Everyone, including (mc)~"
Jamil turned and glared at Azul.
"wait-.. you didn't even tell them..? and you kept them working here?"
"think whatever Jamil, someone has to pay the debt off."
"i can pay it!"
Kalim looks at Azul, he was giving a determined look. Azul sighs again, why is everyone in his office. He has too much work to do.
"i know you can but you know-"
"in exchange, give me (mc)."
Jamil was about to stop Kalim but-
"(mc), yes, they work here under false pretenses but they have became a big asset to us. if you were to take them, it will take a long time to replace them."
Kalim walks closer to azul. with his serious expression, to say left everyone on edge was an understatement.
"i will pay 3x the Wrights' debt... as long as i get (mc)."
Azul looks at Kalim and a sick smile appears. He held out his hand.
"Its a Deal."
~~~~
This took so long! but i did it! i hope you guys enjoy it. if you guys like me to draw something for this, just ask, until then, back into my wips qwq
#twst fanart#twst#twst headcanons#twst wonderland#disney twst#yandere twst#disney twisted wonderland#art#digital art#twst x reader#twst kalim x reader#twst kalim al asim x reader#kalim al asim#twst kalim#kalim x reader#twisted wonderland kalim#kalim twisted wonderland#kalim twst#twst mafia au#twisted wonderland mafia#twst yandere kalim#twst kalim al asim#twst yandere
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Malleus X reader- when you wish upon a star
Malleus looked down at you with kind eyes as he held out his wishing star, you taking a hesitant glance at the fae.
"Are you sure you want to give it to me? I don't particularly have a wish in mind," you shrugged. Malleus urged it into your hands before stating;
"Well, grim took yours and crowley did not allow you to have a second one, correct? I have no need for such a silly tradition. If I would like something, I can simply ask for it," Malleus said with endearment hinting in his voice. You sighed before finally agreeing, taking in a deep breath before closing your eyes and making your wish.
"I wish...that the people from my world can forget me." Malleus started at this, eyes widening in shock, while you stared blankly down into your hands only to see that the star had not glown to your wish. Chuckling in disappointment you handed the rock back to Malleus, who stared at you in bewilderment.
"It won't come true, anyways," you sighed, "Like Idia said, it reacts to body heat and traces of magic. And I'm...completely magicless. What a sick reminder, I can't even make a wish," you let out a shaky laugh with a melancholic look glinting in your eyes.
"Why do you wish to be forgotten, child of man?" Malleus finally inquired, "I'm sure anyone you knew from where you hail wouldn't want to forget you, surely." You couldn't meet his gaze, instead you placed your hands in your pockets before kicking a rock on the ground down the steps of ramshackle.
" It doesn't look like I will be able to go back anytime soon. It would be much less painful for them if they forgot me, If they havent already. I...am easily forgetable. Always have been, always will be..." You shook your head as another sigh escaped your trembling lips. "Sorry... I didnt mean to sully the mood-" you were interrupted by strong arms pulling you into an embrace. Malleus was hugging you tightly, using one hand to hold your head and the other to carefully hold the star.
"I wish..." He whispered after a moment of silence and hesitation, "I wish that I will never, ever forget you. I wish for all of your woes to resolve, and I wish that you will find a way home. I wish you can smile happily in your future, and I wish you can see just how important you are."
The star began to glow brightly, more brilliant than any of the other stars that had shined during the entire starsend event. You froze in place in the warmth of his arms, it didnt occur to you that tears bad begun to stream down your face. You held onto Malleus tightly, the fae stroking your hair comfortingly.
"I could never forget someone as kind as yourself, (y/n)," he said, "even when you inevitably find a way back home, I will forever remember you as the human who treated a fae such as myself as if I were just another student. You are far more important than you may realize, and I'm sure everyone that you left behind eagerly await your return." You couldn't bring yourself to find a response, you only shook your head and cried even harder.
He really knew how to make you feel special, even when it seems as if you can easily disappear into the shadows without anyone giving a second thought. Malleus Draconia....you too, shall not forget him.
~~
It was probably a bad idea for him to make so many wishes though. And with his immense amount of magical prowess, your intimate moment was quickly interrupted by the star shattering. Oops!
~~ end
A/n- I was thinking about a scenario about maybe Yuu using their wish for Malleus, wishing he would live a life that wasn't lonely or something like that. However...I felt like it would be a...cooler twist if we had insecure and lonely Yuu instead.
This was also thrown together on a whim. Not my best works but feel free to check out my master list for more content.
#malleus#malleus draconia#malleus draconia x reader#Malleus x reader#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland fanfics#Twisted wonderland malleus
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if you havent already, request for the outsiders boys with a super sweet sunshine s/o?
↳i love you, so let me get to you!₊˚✧
──IN WHICH, the gang dates a happy go-lucky reader!。✦
||✰ — the gang, separately
Johnny Cade ;
your kindness probably frightened him at first, he wasn’t used to anyone as nice as you.
but when he gets to know you are—he can’t get enough.
your happiness probably rubs off on him.
johnny’s smiling more, opening doors for people, and has a little spring in his step.
the gang definitely knows about you and teases johnny about it.
“you gotta stop hangin’ ‘round y/n. you’re starting to get their smile.”
“yeah, johnnycakes. i swear—i ain’t never seen you this happy.”
“get used to it, i dunno.”
you refuse to see the bad in people, and honestly johnny kinda likes that mindset.
but he doesn’t at the same time.
he knows people in the world suck, he knows how cruel it can be—but with you by his side, you make it bearable.
you make him feel actual hope that he can get out of this place.
make him feel like he has a future.
“thank you.”
“for what?”
“..everything, y/n.”
Dallas Winston ;
opposites attract dare i say?
i can see you calming dallas down, just a bit though.
not too much. just a lot.
he stops beating up people for no reason, yelling so much, and even helps a few old ladies cross the street.
only when people aren’t look though. this is still dallas.
“jus’ get outta ‘ere, punk!”
“aw, dallas! you let ‘em go! ‘m so proud.”
“whatever.”
he mumbles, snaking an arm around your waist with his other hand stuffed in his pocket.
the gang was so fucking shocked when they found out you two were dating.
“…for real?”
“you ain’t pulling our legs, are ya?”
“no? what the hell would make you guys think that?”
“they’re sweet while you’re—you.”
“fuck’s that ‘posed mean?”
“nothing.”
i feel like a lot of people would judge you for being so happy, especially with the situation with soc’s and greasers.
but dally shuts them up real fast.
“they gotta be on drugs. no way someone can be that happ—“
“who? who’s on drugs? c’mon, you can tell me.”
“uh—no one, dallas.”
“you sure?”
“yeah.”
punches them anyways.
but i don’t want you to scroll with a bad taste in your mouth.
just know, you’re the only relationship dally has been serious about in a long time.
a very, long time. so—he loves you to death.
Ponyboy Curtis ;
admired you somewhat.
he loves the aura that surrounds you. he thinks it’s different—way different than what he’s used too.
he’s used to people beating others, spitting on people, mocking, teasing.
but you?
you go out of your way to help those who were pushed down, bullied, spit on.
he admired that. he admired you.
he loved that about you.
tries to pick up your habits—but ends up failing.
“pony, when’d you become so…happy go-lucky, huh?”
“is it bothering you?”
“a little.”
“…fuck you too then.”
i feel like he’d look for a partner like that.
his type??? possibly???
you just,
give him hope.
hope that he can leave tusla and live the life he wanted on the country side.
Sodapop Curtis ;
same thing, different font.
you two get along so well it’s sickening.
when the two of you walk in a room together you blind everyone with how bright the both of you are.
im not joking.
“did he really, soda?”
“yeah! can you believ—“
“JESUS CHRIST!”
“what?”
“get out.”
“WHY?!”
“what?!”
“y’all are ruining my bad mood. screw off.”
“is he always like this?”
“yeah. just ignore two-bit.”
takes after you a lot.
like a lot.
started fighting less, helping out more costumers at the DX, etc.
he loves talking about you.
he just
does.
you’re all he talks about. i’d know, cause i’m literally writing this rn.
Darry Curtis ;
THIS DYNAMIC IS SO CUTE OH MY GOD.
cold, closed off darry with a cute, kind and sweet reader.
i’m crying just thinking about it.
you force him to open him to others.
literally.
“how’s your day, darry?”
“okay.”
“just okay? didn’t something happen at work today?”
“well yeah.”
“then tell, em! he’s your brother, babe.”
people always chuckle, seeing you cling to his arm—all smiles while he sits, looking like a guard dog.
but as soon as darry glares at them—they stop laughing.
everyone calls you sunshine after darry mockingly called you that. sorry i don’t make the rules :/ (yes i do.)
“hey, sunshine!”
“oh—hey, dal!”
“don’t call them that.”
“why not, superman?”
“because.”
Steve Randle ;
Guard dog 2.0
you gotta hold him back all the time help.
“steve! you know violence isn’t good—i hate it!”
“LEMME AT ‘EM, BABE! C’MON!!”
isn’t also—not used to people being so nice to him.
so you being so affectionate, looking out for him, loving him—just being so nice to him in general is so..shocking.
“you did so good today, love. ‘m so proud.”
“what?”
“oh? did you not hear me?”
“no—i did. it was just, outta nowhere. kinda spooked me a lil.”
please just love him.
please. he needs it.
he needs someone like you in his life and he’s so glad you are in his life.
he would’ve lost his mind a long time ago if you weren’t.
Two-bit Matthews ;
YALL ARE SO CUTE.
silly goofy guy with a sweet loving partner.
you let him ramble about anything and everything. he couldn’t be more happy.
“and they dance, like all the time!”
“even the dog?”
“EVEN THE DOG! he got his own moves, y/n!”
brags about dating the kindest person in Tulsa 24/7.
like, actually.
if you don’t like his drinking cause you know it’s slowly killing him, he’ll slow down on it.
“two, you know i don’t like you drinkin’ this stuff!”
“i know. but it’ll be my last one tonight, promise.”
“better be, ‘m worried for you.”
you’re like all he talks about.
he’s just so blessed to have an angel in his life!
like, what’d a guy like him do to get a person like you? save a country?
#2knightt#leo’s anons🤍#the outsiders#the outsiders x reader#johnny cade x reader#johnny x reader#dallas winston x reader#dallas x reader#ponyboy curtis x reader#ponyboy x reader#sodapop x reader#sodapop curtis x reader#darry x reader#steve randle x reader#two bit matthews x reader#two bit x reader
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im a trans boy who has grown up with very oppressive religious parents so ive never gotten the chance to experiment sexually or romantically with peers irl, im about to move to the city for college in the fall
(i will be living on campus with two roommates who i haven't met yet and i know basically nothing about, one of them i will be sharing a bunk bed with)
im really nervous about how im gonna do socially.. ive had a really hard time making and maintaining irl friends for like my entire life, which has been really upsetting for me obviously.
being able to experiment sexually is something im really wanting to do and im really really nervous about it, i know that the most straightforward advice is just "talk about it to people you wanna do sex stuff with" but like everything is new to me i havent had the chance to really socialize irl up until this point and now im being shoved into a group of other young adults who all have the prior experience of being well socialized and having complex interpersonal relationships with peers
i also feel extremely insecure about my lack of experience, like is it actually normal for someone my age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter? are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong?? i can't watch porn bc looking at strangers having sex grosses me out!! im pretty sure my front hole is like unnaturally tight?? anything wider than two of my fingers is uncomfortable and no matter how much prep and easing myself into it i do, it stays that way.. and i think my cervix is also lower than most, about 3-4 inches is the maximum that i can insert before i can feel it bump my cervix (which hurts REALLY BAD)
im just so nervous and scared about my own body and personality and all that andi don't know where to look for resources or reassurance. ive never been to the doctor for any kind of reproductive care and im really scared to!!! i live in a state that has completely outlawed abortion rights and im really scared that if i go to planned parenthood or something to get like a checkup that they will be mean and not gentle with me
i don't know, i guess im just looking to be heard and hopefully pointed towards some resources if anyone has any, thank you for the work you do and thank you for taking the time to read my panicked ramblings
hi anon,
there's a lot happening here so I'm just doing a numbered list
1.) man, how did the third guy luck out and avoid the bunk bed? you don't have to answer that, I'm just curious how you guys have already worked out that two of you are stuck with the bunk beds. unless you're into bunk beds (I was), in which case mazel tov.
2.) in the nicest way possible, I think you may be vastly overestimating how "well socialized" other students are going to be. reading between the lines a bit, it sounds like you were maybe home schooled, or at least don't have very much experience mingling with other people your age without adult supervision. I guarantee you every public school in the world is also full of introverted freak losers who rock up to college with no idea of what they're doing; I was one of them. the majority of first year college students are also running around panicking and trying to figure out how to be away from their parents for the first time; everyone is a loser and no one is cool.
would it comfort you at all to know that my day job is organizing events at my office's LGBT student resource center? I spend a lot of time hanging out with queer first year students, and I love them dearly, and they're all cringefail losers. it's unavoidable. every 18 year old is a cringefail loser. every single person on Earth looks back at their 18 year old self and goes "goddamn, what a cringefail loser." and it's fine! it's so normal! that's the entire point of your first year of college! you try things and you're socially awkward and you meet some of the most important people you will ever meet and you meet people whose opinions about you won't matter literally at all and you'll completely change how you think about everything for the rest of your life and you'll think you're going to die and everything will be fine!!!!
anyway moving on
3.) it's normal for anyone at any age to have never had a romantic or sexual encounter. I'm assuming you value my insight at least a little, since you sent this, so would it help you to know that I arrived at college as virginal as could be (wildly insecure about it, btw) and didn't have sex for the first time until I was almost 21? would it comfort you to hear from my housemate, also transmasculine, who gave me permission to share that they've never had sex and that none of their life problems really have anything to do with being a virgin?
4.) "are the things ive discovered and assumptions ive made about myself sexually through masturbating wrong??" hard to say, since I don't know what those things are, but probably not. it's extremely hard to get masturbating wrong, no one knows what feels good to you better than you. you're sort of an authority here. masturbating isn't exactly like partnered sex, of course, but it's a really good place to start learning about things that you like and make you feel good.
5.) everything you're describing about your front hole sounds very typical. two fingers is the max number of comfortable fingers for a lot of people, regardless of experience; often, taking something larger doesn't become easier until after having penetrative sex with a partner. average vaginal depth is about 3.6 inches, and while that can increase significantly with arousal, it's something that doesn't generally happen if you're not relaxed during sex. if I can be a bit presumptuous, it sounds like sex and masturbation are maybe a bit anxiety-inducing for you, in a way that is pretty much perfectly contradictory to comfortable penetration. if I can offer you some advice I wish I could give my younger self: calm the fuck down, buy some lube, stop worrying so much about making your body react the way you think it should and learn to appreciate what it's actually doing, and maybe see if your campus has some free therapy options available. anxiety meds probably wouldn't hurt this situation. also stop hitting your cervix if that hurts oh my god.
6.) Planned Parenthood is generally one of the best places to go if you're nervous; they're aggressively queer friendly and tend to be extremely accommodating of patients' needs. I personally do not care for penetration at all and have a difficult time with Pap smears, and every examiner I've ever had at PP has been an angel about letting me take breaks and swear my way through it. it ain't fun, but if you want to have an adventurous sex life you need to take care of the health of yourself and your prospective partners by getting STI tests and Pap smears.
you're so normal, calm down, I love you
#sex edventures 2024#if any of my students read this#1.) stop looking at my tumblr#2.) yes you're a loser (affectionate) and I love you
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In this essay I will talk about how Rick could have made Jason a more interesting character to more people
Im not joking, Drews is next and why she really wasnt that bad of a person, just a traumatized teen
CW FOR MAJOR SPOILERS IF YOU HAVENT FINISHED ALL THE BOOKS!!!!
Starting off I fully believe most people didn't like Jason because he was a random new guy, like we were expecting Percy and got some amnesiac and didn't get to see out hero happy and living his life for the entire book, and he was so confused most the time, because he fully didn't remember anything, he wasn't even given the same fake memories to try and act normal, he didn't know his own name when he woke up on that bus, we had to personality to go off of at the start, because HE DIDNT KNOW WHO HE WAS! People always say Leo was the best out of the lost trio and that's because so many people could relate to him, he used humor to cover stuff up, like everyone's favorite mc did (Percy). Piper had her own struggles, like finding out who she thought was her boyfriend, didn't know who she was, she was being manipulated and her dad was being held hostage as she was told to kill her friends, and she AND Leo were in a WILDERNESS SCHOOL. A. WILDERNESS. SCHOOL. I got off topic, sorry, but piper had so many of her own stuff she was working through in the way she thought was correct, by lying and hiding things. Jason had nothing, he knew he didn't remember anything and he was sad. Leo had a personality and was content separate to them, obviously he had issues but he was the most similar to Percy, so fans liked him the most (imo)
Now, onto how rick could have made Jason better
made him actually an awesome fighter, he killed monsters with his bare hands and was raised by wolves since two, he should have been equal to or even better than Percy with muscle memory and all, which yeah he had but he still should have had a more feral side to him, he was said to climb the ranks at camp Jupiter and was a bit more wild than other romans, I think it would have been interesting to see Jason use his instincts more and be a little feral when he lost his memory, not having his camp Jupiter training but muscle memory and instincts to guide him and keep him going
He should have been more separated from Percy, he was not a comparison to Percy and I don't like that was how he was written, I don't have much to say about this but I really didn't like when they both sat at the head of the table
He should have gotten his memories back like percy did, He never got to learn who he was or what he stood for in the past because he never got to get those back, even after the war ended hera/juno didnt return them, which I think would have made a really interesting ending to TLH, or getting them during the quest or something, but he dies without knowing who he was, only a pawn for the gods
Have had mention of him previously, like a picture thalia had and thats why she even agreed to bring annabeth, because she reminded her of jason, or just that she even HAD a little brother so readers could have had a fun plot twist and even more of a heart warming reuniting scene
Adding to that a bit i think thalia and jason really should have had more time together, like maybe in toa mentioning that thalia had been visiting jason when she could to catch up on lost time, to be siblings again and try to live as normally as possible. (off topic but i think the jason/luke comparisons are 50/50, i like others seeing it and Thalia at first but removing the idea immediately because at one point she liked luke and jason is her baby brother)
Let him be awake during fight scenes
I think jason could have grown more, and adapted a mix of fighting, a bit roman, a bit greek, and a bit feral, to match how his life was
when we see him in toa i think it would have been fun to see how much he had grown, experimenting with new styles (maybe a bit more alt considering his older sister, but he was at a boys school so maybe outside of it?) Just, growing into himself and not focusing on the gods as much, he lived and died for them, without much in return
Let us know who his friends were before he lost his memories, like have percy seens people asking around or being asked if he had seen a blonde gut about yae high, named jason, just stuff like that to show he had a community or at least someone who truly cared he was gone
Ik it was more of a list but yk, also sorry for the lack of punctuation, i forget it exists unless its an excessive amounts of commas, i like commas, and forget to capitalize my I's
Thanks for coming to my ted talk
#percy jackon and the olympians#heros of olympus#trials of apollo#jason grace#leo valdez#piper mclean#frank zhang#nico di angelo#percy jackson#annabeth chase#hazel levesque#thalia grace#pjo thalia#the lost hero#lost trio#pjo hoo toa#rrverse#rant post#house of hades#mark of athena#the burning maze spoilers#the burning maze
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Hi. I would like to know many things about your roleswap au bc I love it very much but I have no idea what to ask I just want to know many things bc my brain has been consumed already
uhhhhh I guess can you lore dump a little bit on backstories? Idk I just wanna know everything about this au
I will be back in your ask box for this au several times most likely
-Spaghetti Brain Anon
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK!!! i am SO glad that i could get this au to live in someone else's brain rent free too. all i could ever ask for in life tbh i guess i'll infodump about character backstories, dynamics, character arcs, all that juicy stuff putting it under cut because HO BOY THIS IS GONNA GET LONG
as a heads up, take the timeframes i give you with a grain of salt, because i still havent completely figured out the timeline so first of all, vox!! he's a sinner, died in the 1950s, as per canon. he's a businessman, but less stable than in canon. he's always jumping from job to job, business to business, which results in him having a lot of connections with various people around hell. soon after arriving in hell, he met and became friends with alastor. cut to, i'd say around 7-10 years before the events of the story? alastor disappears without a trace during an extermination and vox assumes him dead. having now been personally touched by the effects of the extermination, the idea to try and solve overpopulation another way is planted in his head, but wont come to fruition until much later. in the meantime he meets velvette - finds her bleeding out in an alleyway after getting too cocky and trying to fight back to an exorcist (bad idea). he nurses her back to health, they become friends and eventually start dating, yada yada yada. one day vox and velvette find a funky little cat (keekee). keekee takes a liking to them and leads them to the old ruins of a building up on the hill on the edge of pentagram city. they figure out that the cat turns into a keyblade that can be used to magically build shit (only the hotel though, as keekee is the spirit of the hotel or??? whatever the hell the canon lore is idk???) vox finally decides to realize his idea to try and solve overpopulation more humanely - through redeeming sinners! his reasoning is, if angels can fall (as proven by lute and charlie), then demons can surely ascend, right? though he's not as sure or idealistic about it as charlie is in canon. he simply thinks it has a chance of working, and opening up a hotel means a bigger sample size than if he were to just try and get into heaven himself or something like that. besides, he wouldnt wanna go to heaven, he likes it here. also, im not sure where this is situated in the timeline yet, but he was in a band with adam, lute and possibly eve at some point? the band is called brimstone eden, as mentioned in the comic i posted. im not sure yet whether he was in the band prior to eve's disappearance or after it (eve disappears 7 years before the story starts to mirror canon lilith). swap!vox, like his canon counterpart, is a very reactive person. he follows trends, he's extremely go-with-the-flow to a fault. he never really had any strong beliefs until the hotel - his character arc mainly involves him gaining something to believe in and learning to fight for that belief, 'ready for this' being more or less the culmination of his arc. jesus christ i cant believe i wrote that much JUST on vox. *slaps the top of his head* this boy can fit so much lore in him
now, velvette... she's how you'd expect her to be. same old brave, arrogant velvette. she's a fashion designer and seamstress and runs a moderately sized business which she promotes on sinstagram. she's mutuals with val there, which is how he finds out about the hotel. there's not much to write home about when it comes to val - it's insane how similar angel and him are. like literally barely anything changes when you swap them, it's very clean. he's a prn star, sold his soul to angel dust, yada yada. though a bit on his dynamic with vox - vox is very good at reading people, and doesn't like being lied to (he's a bit of a hypocrite in that regard - he puts on a facade all the time when in professional settings). he can clearly tell val isnt doing as good as he pretends he is, and wants to help him really badly, but val just sees it as vox pitying him and rejects his help (its what they fight about in ep 4, as a counterpart to the whole "charlie going to the studio" thing bc vox wouldnt do that) and now here's the fun part - ALASTOR! oh, alastor, you beautiful stuck up bitch! so turns out, he's not so dead after all! he ALMOST died in that fateful extermination, but husk found him and offered him a "give me your soul right now or bleed out in this alleyway" type deal. of course alastor chose the former, but boy he's not happy about it. he's extremely ashamed of how far he's fallen. so ashamed, in fact, that he hid from the world for those 7-10 years! yeah! he's only pulled out of hiding when husk summons him to be the bartender for the hotel. vox is of course, extremely bewildered and demands answers. alastor doesnt give them and avoids him instead. it takes a sincere conversation with valentino in ep 4 for alastor to finally talk to vox again and explain himself. alastor is basically in extremely deep denial of just how fucked his life is. he clings onto his radio demon persona like a lifeline bc its the last thing that can help him feel some semblance of control over his situation. his tension with valentino is twofold - first they butt heads because of opposing personalities, and second because they both see the other's bullshittery. it's a clusterfuck it eventually bubbles over in ep 4, they both admit how absolutely fucked they are and are friends now. wish i could say more on al & val bc i love them very much but it seems ive run out of eloquency for now. though i know i'll draw some comics of them eventually so maybe it'll come across better in comic form. anyway as mentioned above ive run out of eloquency and im honestly not sure how coherent this whole thing is so you'll have to come back for the other characters some other time, dear anon! until then, thank you so much for the ask once again, and have a nice day/night :)
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JOSEPH JOESTAR CHARACTER ANALYSIS (1)
I never see anyone talk or analyze Joseph very often in the fandom, which is tragic because i believe he's very complex!! So here's some thoughts to chew on, rattle around in your head a bit. It's all under the cut, and it is LONG AS HELL because i have a LOT to say on him!!! Warning though, it's not super properly punctuated as these are discord rambles of mine, but -- enjoy nonetheless!!
i think it's super interesting to note how every time someone puts joseph down, or does something shitty to him, he just doesn't care. not a single bit. he even says it's fine, maybe even deserved sometimes. he assumes people always thinks the worst of him, and yet doesn't really care aside from the one time he dressed in drag and got insulted about it. even then he was just kind of, "man. i looked hot though.." however every time someone even remotely upsets his friends or hurts those who don't deserve it or his family he goes. ABSOLUTELY APESHIT. he will get SO fighty.
he will immediately throw hands and hurt you physically without thinking about it he likes to put assholes in their place sometimes (i.e. the taxi driver, the nazis who insulted him. and any nazi really ) but that is different than really caring about what they say to him. i think he has a very strong moral code, though people tend to see him as quite dubious because of his loud and obnoxious behavior every consequence to his actions, he only worries what others close to him will think and he can easily be driven to a blind rage revenge if you dare to hurt his family in any way. because you DONT fuck with his family. family is the no. 1 thing he cares about
beating up racist cops? he only feels bad because he doesn't want to stress out erina with the thought of bailing him out. told speedwagon is dead? he's upset, but he keeps his cool and throws a punch at the guy for upsetting erina, and worries more about her comfort than his own. guys hijacking a plane and holding him hostage? he couldnt care less if he was the hostage, he only cared enough to stop it because it might risk getting speedwagon hurt. and it goes on
and for the sake of his family he keeps purposefully trying to risk himself to death repeatedly. when fighting kars lets not forget when he shot kars into space and his thoughts were about how he was ok with dying if it meant his family was safe i think . and i said this before this is just me getting my thoughts out way more eloquently with points i've already touched on before. but.
in a non emo way, it's really hit me how he isn't like. beat up about it. about assuming ppl always think the worst of him. he cares way more about others than himself type of guy thats like similar to "they're friendly but after awhile of their support and talking to them you realize to your horror you dont actually know anything about them at all" other than he's like. bold and brash and likes to start fights sometimes oh and lest we forget he also tends to take the death of loved ones so hard to the point that no matter the circumstances true causes he always blames himself.
he always blames himself and gets a bit. ummmmm i wouldn't say suicidal but like way too risky with his life and stops really caring if he'll die. he's just so used to nobody ever understanding him and his "off kilter" tbh neurodivergent way of thinking and living that he. like. he doesn't exactly have great self image beyond thinking he has sexy lips which sounds so silly but it's true and again it's not something he dwells on it's just kind of, A Fact to him. and this isn't even touching on the slew of issues i'm sure speedwagon's constant comparing of him to his dead grandfather must have caused.
It's very evident to me that he has ALWAYS felt like a burden to some degree i think. even when erina and speed havent really treated him as such. This is why I think his dynamic with speedwagon would be pretty strained / already seems as such -- bc. As I said before, he's ALWAYS comparing him to jonathan, even when he was just a kid.
NOW BY ALL MEANS!! I DO NOT THINK speedwagon means any ill will. it's just something that he just keeps.. doing because. well he respected jonathan so much, and it kind of clouds how he sees joseph because -- well, joseph is the SPITTING IMAGE of him. But not intending harm does not mean he hasn't caused any by doing that -- comparison can WRECK you pretty bad. joseph has made it clear that he knows he's nothing like jonathan in any regards except looks and i think it kind of contributes to his overall. tanked self image. and also the fact that he's a reminder of the tragedy of losing his parents ( or so they thought for a while. yk )
he deeply cares for him still, this much is true. he always will. but, it doesn't negate the serious comparison issue, constantly being told "WOW you have an attitude not at ALL like your grandpa, he would have never done x!! how do you look like him while being such an angry kid!!"
..... said without real malice or really bad intention, more out of exasperation. but. those kinds of things stick with kids. yknow? Joseph's always bottled up his emotions and tried to be on his best behavior for erina's sake. hes always a little more open with speedwagon. but .............. BWGHGURUGURGGH!!!!!!! i could go on for hours about it ok. but i shall move on to my next point now.
what sucks about it though is that the fandom tends to gloss over these bit of characterization at every turn. there is a lot of sadness and concerning things surrounding joseph that he just simply SHRUGS OFF about that it's kinda concerning! not that he'd ever really see a problem with it.
the fact that he was prepared to die / did the bet if only to distract them long enough to let caesar and speedwagon get away... you COULD maybe read it as a little bit of self preservation but given how he handles literally all other instances of him possibly dying., and the circumstances of him leading whammuu away being to SAVE those two. I think it yet again falls in line with "who gaf if i die i care if THEY die". then he gets stressed about the time he has left. which i imagine would stress ANYONE honestly. but . part of me thinks that it's also because this means that he has a short time to make sure he can be strong enough to protect everyone he loves and cares for..
that isn't ALL there is, of course. but i feel like with his behavior that is probably a big reason of it. You can summarize it all with one sentence; essentially,
joseph isn't afraid of death, nor dying himself; he's afraid of his loved ones dying.
This fact is extremely present in everything he does and says, but especially so when Caesar's death hits. THAT, however, i will make it's own post on. I have a lot to say on that and how it fucked him up for life. For now, though, I will move on and touch on another topic.
for all the loud opinions joseph seems to also speak none of it is ever really looked into much deeper as anything more than " he's just being joseph again" and he never really elaborates on it either, hence why a lot of people don't know much about him. While he is schrodinger's himbo -- too stupid to be smart, too smart to be stupid -- it's clearly all an act to get people to lower their expectations of him. He doesn't like being taken as a joke though. that he is a hater of for sure so. Joseph hides his true self behind a mask of idiocy and lackadaisical attitude to the point where it's blended into his actual truest self and he can hardly tell what's real and what's the mask. But at the same time, Joseph gets very angry when nobody takes him seriously because of his facade and trying to make everyone lower their expectations of him so he can pull the rug out from under them.
He's so mad when people don't take him serious but then continues to act pretty unserious and it's like. Well if you want them to take you more seriously bro you should stop doing that. Stop lowering others expectations so you can kick their asses or have a general upper hand just in case ( but he won't 💖)
he is a bit of a polarizing character but i hate when fandom reduces him to just "funny goofster" or ""cheater"", or writes him off as annoying with no depth to him. To judge Joseph through a lense of solely good or solely bad is a terrible idea; that man is gray moraled as HELL, he has a strong sense of self justice while also being incredibly underhanded and sneaky. If you dislike him, that's fine -- but don't discount his complexity just cause of that!!! He's not puddle deep, there's a lot of facets to how truly fucked up he is.
yeah. he is goofy, and he's a cheater at many things. but there's a lot to him. HE'S COMPLEX!!!!
#joseph joestar#🐍 txt#i have. a lot of feelings about him ok?#also part of this is old ass posts from my discord but i think tumblr should see it too
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