#the way i surprise pikachu-ed myself with this

[sachermorte]

The anon DOES still want to hear the Prater incident!!! Your stories are WILD 😁

dramatis personae:

roland, a heavyset dark-haired man on a crutch, with a bearing that was described by a dear friend as soon as just the other day as "bizarrely edwardian"

ed, a slender, bespectacled man from oxfordshire

martha, a curly-haired woman from upstate new york

chris, some jackass, blonde and in a leather jacket, from somewhere in the UK but I didn't care to ask

tw: drug use, emetophobia

this was during the summer of 2020. the covid-19 pandemic had been raging for approximately three months, and this was the first of many brief quarantine relaxations that would take place in austria over the following year. we were permitted to travel, ride public transportation with a mask, and generally act like jackasses after too many long weeks of laying around in a stupor, doing nothing of consequence but giving ourselves mild alcohol poisoning with cheap, nasty beer and liquor. I actually can't drink rum anymore to this very day due to a separate event in march, but I digress. ed, martha, and I had been quarantining together in ed's apartment in the south of (sketchy-ass) linz near bulgariplatz, and to this very day I consider myself closer to these two people than I am my actual siblings.

but things were beginning to open and we were feeling stir-crazy, so we began tooling around the country together staring from around may. one trip to innsbruck/feldkirch/bregenz/liechtenstein, one trip to hallstadt/gmunden, one trip to bratislava, the works. lots of time spent in vienna because I quite honestly felt twitchy being away for too long but couldn't bear to leave ed and martha and completely shatter my already fragile psyche.

it came to ed's attention that a man whom he'd befriended during a study abroad term in vienna while he was doing his bachelor's, chris, was still in town, so we began hanging out with him, which quickly became one of the more unpleasant and draining aspects of our outings.

chris was an asshole. I can just come out and drop that one from the jump. loud, boorish, needlessly aggressive, had a sophomoric sense of humor, and seemed like he had it out for me in particular. literally everything out of his mouth was some unpleasant dig, usually towards me, and he seemed to think it was really funny to shout "hurry up, cripple!" at me and got all surprised pikachu when I didn't respond positively. I put up with it for ed's sake, as he seemed desperate for social interaction and appropriately embarrassed regarding chris' behavior.

the prater incident, as it has infamously come to be known, occurred during my last meeting with chris (and to my knowledge, anyone else's. I'm pretty sure ed stopped talking to him after this, and good riddance)

so we roll back into vienna and martha has a suitcase in tow because she's about to fly back to the US at like five in the morning, a fact we're all trying not to think about because it's just too brutal. chris comes and grabs us, immediately makes some stupid comment about how I'm dressed like a vampire, and we decide to head down to donauinsel because it's still light out and it's hot as balls

the second we get there, the second we set down our stuff by the water, chris rolls a couple of joints and thankfully shuts up for a minute while we smoke. and then opens his wallet and asks without any leadup "okay, who wants ecstasy."

record scratch moment as I have a terrible premonition of the night ahead. but I open my hand because, like, come on. I'm not not going to do ecstasy.

it takes maybe twenty minutes to start setting in, by which time the other three have started skinny-dipping in the river. I abstained despite chris throwing barbed comments my way because I didn't want to mess up my clothes (a puffy ecru pussybow blouse and an embroidered black velvet vest with silver buttons), I didn't want this jackass to see me naked and have more to comment on, and I was at that moment sitting on a rock and holding onto it for dear life to keep from falling off the side of the planet.

they stumble out after a while, the sun is going down and it's starting to cool off, and while they get dressed it's decided that we're going to prater because we're already on the U1 and where else do you go when you can't get into the club because someone's got a suitcase and you're all on molly.

at some point we consume an entire bottle of jägermeister between the four of us, just standing around at praterstern, which in hindsight was honestly probably not the best idea.

it's at this time that martha decides she doesn't feel like walking.

"I don't wanna," she goes, about to just flop to the ground and making ed and I take one of her arms to keep her upright. we literally have to brace her and drag her along. for the medically concerned reading: she was fine. she literally just didn't feel like it and wanted us to carry her.

we ride bumper cars at some point? ed and I in one car, chris and martha in the other. I drive and ram into them repeatedly. the attendant has to shut the whole ride down at one point to take the last of the jägermeister off of chris, casting us all a knowing, disapproving look before letting us finish our time. he gives it to me personally as we walk off, because I was the least visibly fucked up. I apologize, he just shakes his head.

we transition to pickwick's at schwedenplatz and drink more, not that it's a good idea. chris puts his jacket on me for some reason and tells me I look stupid. I roll my eyes and go out to the canal and smoke one of his cigarettes. In a fit of drunken, drugged pettiness, I literally fling his jacket into the canal and watch it float away. he never notices when I come back in. I never hear about it again. he's so fucked up he won't remember a single thing until we get to the airport.

because that's another thing. all three of these jokers are blackout, and no matter how drunk or high or crossfaded I get, I'm cursed by god to remain perfectly, terribly lucid, no matter how much I beg and pray otherwise.

so that's why I'm the only one to remember later, while we're all standing around at the bridge across the canal:

oh shit. martha has to go to the airport. like. right the fuck now.

martha is honestly lucky to still be in possession of her suitcase. ed is staring off into the middle distance, gently waving back and forth like a reed in the wind. chris is babbling some bullshit about "I just don't want you to hate me", on the verge of tears.

"bit late for that," I say, wrenching his phone from his hands and ordering us an uber from his account. I shove the three of them in the backseat the second we get there, fling martha's suitcase in the trunk, and climb up front with the driver. I proceed to have what was, to that point, the most fluent conversation in german I've ever had in my life while mostly succeeding in appearing normal despite being fucked up beyond all recognition.

the driver's driving like he's running from god. I become aware that while it's certainly not mandatory that I vomit, I very much could at any point in time if I chose to do so. it was just a matter of making that decision.

we get to the airport in the nick of time. martha thinks she lost her phone. "we'll mail it to you," I say, hug her and kiss her on both cheeks, and practically shove her through to security. she later finds it in her back pocket when she sobers up a couple hours into the flight. of course.

ed and chris are starting to come to already, shuffling around in front of the spar by the train station at flughafen wien. we're all just trying to get our bearings, maybe eat something quickly before ed and I run back to linz.

"oh," I say quietly as I spot some airport police, in a voice that sounded like it was coming from very far away. "it's the gendarmerie." I'd just been in paris at the end of last year before the world ended, so the word is still at the forefront of my mind.

chris starts in on me again. "gendarmerie? gendarmerie? god, you're so pretentious, everything out of your mouth is the most ridiculous shit--" and on and on and on.

I look at him. I look him up. I look him down.

I remember that I still have certain options at my disposal.

BLEAURGHHHH

without warning, I bend right over and vomit all over his shoes.

ed immediately jumps to my side and frog-marches me to the bathroom, going "you'll be alright, you're okay, you're fine, let's go", and leaves me at the sink while he leaves with paper towels.

I glance at in the mirror, my complexion wan and my eyes shadowed, and lightly dab at my mouth with a tissue. I cock my head to the side.

I know I did it on purpose.

Chris knows I did it on purpose.

but no one will ever, ever believe him.

I make eye contact with my reflection and smile.

ed and I get on the train back to linz and don't say a single word. when we get back to his apartment I climb into the empty bathtub and lay there for several hours during the comedown. I never do see or hear from chris again, and it turns out that ed barely even remembers me puking on chris' shoes to begin with.

he remembers though.

that I'm absolutely sure of.

checkmate, you son of a bitch.

FIN

[intoevernightfanfic]

💝, 📍,💋,🎉

😁

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

Goodness, I'm gonna have to talk about several right now lol. Honestly, I was shocked at the response to At Your Service. Just so many kudos and hits on the first couple of chapters (it's been such a long period since I last posted that I can't say about now, but that doesn't matter). IDK why I was so surprised, because porn with plot does well. It happened with Twenty First Times, which was my pet project but I didn't think it would be that popular either, and yet for a while, it was my most kudos-ed fic. Anyway, insert pikachu shocked face lol.

On the flip side, I was really surprised that Spirits and Specters flopped as hard as it did. I thought it was cute! But I suppose it sounded too bittersweet, and gen fics don't do as well. As far as ship fics, I was a little surprised High Tide didn't hit the same stats as my other PWP fics. At first, I wondered if maybe it was written worse than those, but then considering that the other PWP from Tomoe's POV didn't do as well as the ones from Nanami's POV, I think maybe we just all want the story to be told from the POV of the hot fox's love interest. 🤣

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

(Sorry! ;3; I couldn't find📍so I grabbed the closest one in appearance!)

I don't think it changes too much in style. Any adjustments are based on the genres I'm writing for, but I still have my quirks and I still have my preferred flows and syntactical structures. I have a few fics that I've tried to be more minimalistic about (which I struggle with, because I feel like I won't be understood if I don't beat a dead horse LOL). I think, again, it depends on the subject matter and genre, though. Like, for instance, Arranged Marriage is a much more complicated fic than Twenty First Times. Plus, I have multiple POVs in the former. It's going to be a lot longer.

For the future, though, I'd like to limit to one POV and that will affect it a bit. Mostly I need this change because the amount of editing I've been doing is unsustainable. I need shorter chapters to work with.

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

Not gonna lie -- I do! It goes back to fostering community and opening dialogue with other fans. But I also understand if someone doesn't have the spoons or doesn't know what to say, and it's totally fine not to reply. I don't feel ignored if someone doesn't respond to me and I'll keep commenting. The only time I might feel a bit weird is if everyone else gets a reply but me. Then I wonder if I'm overstepping some boundary I didn't know about. I would 100% rather know if I've made someone uncomfortable so I can adjust my behavior.

🎉how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don't, you should!)

Honestly? Not enough these days LOL. I don't think it's a secret that I've been very frustrated lately. And it's really no one's fault but my own! I have a tendency to chop things up because I fret over how it comes across, or if it's actually "bad" (even when I enjoyed writing it), and I've been putting unnecessary pressure on myself. I will say I have a huge sense of accomplishment and relief when I finish the first draft of a chapter fic I worked on, especially if it went on for a while. I typically enjoy reading the first draft way more than what ends up being posted (probably because I've read it to death by that point LOL).

Thanks for the ask, @liz8080 😁💕

[laurasbailey]

[hipboneregression]

tw:ed vent (numbers, behaviors)

these vent posts are becoming a daily thing and also very long, but i don't really care. no one reads them, they get buried in my other posts, and they are honestly helping me cope. that was the whole point of creating a tumblr again so here i am. triggering shit after the jump if you're interested.

somehow i lost 1.8lbs overnight, even after eating a poke bowl + cheese and fancy crackers for my OMAD last night (which i thought would bump my weight up due to carbs + sodium & the fact that i'm 6 days out from my period). i have less than 24 fasting hours left until brunch tomorrow, but am planning on drinking at the company xmas party this afternoon (oops lol). i'm still planning on dinner being some weed gummies + bone broth, but we'll see. i might cave. i hope i don't cave, but i might, especially if i get too drunk. the fact that i have both a brunch date, as well as a pizza+hockey game double-date tomorrow should be motivation enough.

the thing that's really getting my goat rn is the fact that i have lost so much more steadily this month as compared to last. literally the only two things that have changed are 1) my water intake and 2) my exercise.

i'm drinking more water than ever, which is honestly making me feel better throughout the day so that's a benefit in and of itself. water truly does move things along in the body and i am never looking back from that now lol.

but my exercise - i've really ramped down the intensity and actually haven't exercised at all this week as i've been sick. i was reading into how exercise might actually slow down or even hinder weight loss and now i'm sitting over here all surprised pikachu face about how much i was likely torturing myself when my ED first developed and during my last bad relapse. obviously it's a lot harder to work off everything you eat than to just not eat - but that was my preferred behavior and method of purging. it was a fucking compulsion. everything in my childhood and my past led me to believe that i was a fat fuck simply because i didn't work out and move enough. and the guilt i felt when i couldn't work out was so fucking overwhelming.

but the reality is that the intensity at which i was working out, coupled with the extreme caloric restriction, was making my body bonkers and driving my body into some sort of metabolic adaptation. during my last relapse, i was fucking fit for my size. i was 200lbs and could run a 10 minute mile and run 10ks like no problem, but i couldn't fucking drop the excess weight no matter how much i fucking exercised. i was working out too much to really drop my calories too fucking low, so i felt stuck, especially because the exercise at that time still felt like such a fucking compulsion. the scale would sky rocket up and down 5lbs in a day without reason. i felt weak. i had fainting spells. i felt sick. i got overuse and overtraining injuries left and right. i felt guilty more often than not even though i was eating clean and all that. plus i was so much more fucking hungry. it's easier to cope with hunger when i'm not doing HIIT or running for an hour every god damn day.

truly loling at myself "curing" my exercise addiction with OMAD fasting. i'm now convinced (in probably still my ED honeymoon) that this is the way and i've been a fool all along. i don't need to do shit for exercise more than 20 minutes a day, if that. the important thing is the portion control. i really wish i could fucking figure out a way to portion control that isn't so black and white, but i can't. fasting is addictive and it's easy. it's so fun when you're at a high weight like me and you can just fucking drop almost 2lbs overnight like it was god damn nothing. the hell will come later. i know it's coming, but i'm trying to enjoy this in whatever perverse way i can, for now.

xxx

[sheerioswifties]

once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly. then you have to send this to ten of your favourite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) 🌈🌈

So okay. I've got a couple of these in my inbox and I'll admit I've kind of avoided doing these because I have a really hard time thinking of things that I like about myself. I know that might sound silly but it's just especially lately with everything going on, I've been super extra critical of myself. But I'm going to force myself to do this today, and I got some help from my friends :) so thank you for that. Here goes nothing. 1. I very genuinely love and care for people and always try to support, protect, defend, encourage and help in any way that I can. 2. I'm funny. I mean my sense of humor might be really quirky and random, but I'm told I'm really funny, so there ya go. 3. I'm smart. That was always the one thing I felt I had going for me. I did really well academically and love to keep learning new things. I'm pretty good at trivia and have aquired a lot of extensive knowledge on several subjects over the years; so when my brain is not all foggy from bring sick, I'm actually pretty sharp so to speak. 4. I have great taste in music. Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran- enough said! Hehe...5. I'm good at crafts. I love diy projects and have skills in all kinds of different areas. Scrapbooking, sewing, painting, okay I'm not going to try to list everything because there's a lot. But actually my favorite thing is making my own cards, gifts, and creative wrapping for said gifts. I love making random themed care packages to surprise people with. I can do calligraphy and I've made a lot of pretty custom cards and things. I recently learned how to make cute little felt toys, as my "niece," M (who I talked about went to the Taylor show last night), loves Pokémon so I made her a Pikachu keychain (and a pokéball bracelet and hair bows/clips). Oh and I learned how to make taggie toys for babies which I made (hand-sewn too! Don't have a sewing machine atm so I hand sew everything which is very extra, okay, lol) along with some pacifier holders for M's baby brother. I'm going off now, this answer is way too long, but I guess this is something I'm proud of so there you go. Alright now it's time to go blow up a bunch of your inboxes with this ask, mwahaha!!🌹

[zedpercyfan]

If I’m to be honest, PokemonRangerboy12 is one extremely pitiful person to watch as he reviews and ‘analyzes’ something. I watched a video of him trying to say the Kalos League was good. Boy, people have opinions, yes in my view there can be misguided views but there are different opinions for a reason. This guy makes me sad because he tried so hard to make Kalos out as a whole good, but it wasn’t. Let’s see, a pitiful excuse for a rival, terrible Pokémon over all, lack of enough training, and a league that was poorly executed. Poor in a sense that it is not excusable to write a League the way they did for the sake of the villain arc which in hindsight should’ve been already resolved.

The League was disliked because it was stupid, prior to Sawyer we didn’t really get any satisfaction in watching Ash battle, we focused way too much on the Team Flare issue, and we gave too much screen time to watching Alain Battle. Ash should be the main focus, and the episodes crammed with battling of tough opponents. I myself cannot say I enjoy a League where I see Ash battling someone who we’ve seen him battle and win against before, that is boring. When you only make the rival the seemingly tough opponent, you’ve set yourself up for failure because there were no establishments of the league being clearly filled with expert trainers if they’re too busy being steamrolled by Alain and Sawyer, it makes it one-sided if we don’t see Ash struggling to get to his position, it makes it feel non-deserved. Honestly, if we don’t see a proper progression of wins, I can’t enjoy a League at all of I don’t see progress and skill being shown, it’s better to see thought put into each send out or a surprise tactic every once in a while — and another thing, don’t make one Pokémon the damn end card, that’s just terrible, give equal time to ALL Pokémon, give them a chance to shine, not just Pikachu and Greninja. Hawlucha’s wins weren’t even all that impressive in any battle, it’s a terrible showcasing of power if that power seems too one-sided, it isn’t pleasant to watch if one isn’t given variety of how a battle is won. 

It’s not helped that the only ever full battle’s we see are only for the sake of referencing past battles (Ash vs Astrid and Alain vs Raimos), and not watching Ash try to beat someone he hasn’t battled before, if that were done we could be hyped to see him climb to the top if we don’t know what power each trainer truly possesses.  If anything Ash’s lost is predictable even without past knowledge of his league history, FFS we watch Alain roll over Trevor and Raimos with total ease, what would make Ash the exception to his onslaught?  By doing too much showcasing you’re giving away too much to the viewer as to this trainer’s skills and training methods.  Watching Sawyer and Tierno battle it out was good because you got see - although in my view it was terrible on Tierno’s side - how good both were, with Sawyer taking victory with his strategizing.  But other than that?  We didn’t see Ash do the same as he has done in the past, and with Alain I don’t really see the point of showing him off, if we just saw the end of each battle and his win card that would’ve been acceptable.  If anything Ash should’ve battled Trevor, that would’ve impressed me, and then do the slow build up to Ash vs Alain, but no, instead we got half-ass build up that didn’t amount to really anything because I knew Sawyer would lose (because let’s remember, we watched him win once with type advantage against Ash, it doesn’t mean squat in the bigger picture if it wasn’t with pure strength on equal terms).

Over all, the Kalos without a single doubt is a terrible league, and PokemonRangerboy really f-ed up saying it’s good because upon analysis even with just XYZ, that lost was predictable as heck.

[angel-with-a-pipette]

11 Facts about me Tag

I got tagged by @fullmetal-fitblr. Thank you ♥ I don’t know whether this will be interesting or surprising, but here I go.

1. I never had a broken bone in my life.

2. I’ve always wanted to go into a science direction. My mom was a nurse and we had some medical dictionaries lying around that I liked to look through even though some of the black and white pictures were REALLY gross (for a child at least). As my sister started to go into Chemistry, I thought I’d end up there, too. When we had to choose between taking up French or ancient Greek, I was seriously debating ancient Greek because it held open the possibility to pursue archeology. Biology I actually hated, it was boring, just trees and woodland creatures and insects (and the teacher we had during that, YUCK). Without grade 10 finally focusing on human biology (aside from sex ed), I probably would’ve never picked Biology for my advanced courses. And those made me finally pursue Biology. I always had this small dream of studying Medicine, too, knowing that my grades would never be good enough to do it (though actually, I think I would’ve made it the same year because the grade threshold was REALLY low), and while I am really sad about it, I am also really glad because I never wanted to have this much responsibility and I also don’t think I would’ve been able to keep up with the stress (wow that got longer than anybody cared for...)

3. I’m wearing glasses since I’m 13 I think.

4. That same year, I got my ears pierced. I got a third lobe piercing nearly 10 years later and I’m thinking about a fourth one as well as a helix piercing (all on the same ear).

5. I’ve also been through wanting a lip piercing and a tongue piercing. Thankfully, I never went through with those (I was of age and could’ve done it) because nowadays I really wouldn’t want them xD

6. I was never a tattoo person, but lately, I have been thinking about one (not very seriously though). Also, I love science tattoos that people get to match their jobs or research!

7. (You knew I’d go there) I got into Kingdom Hearts around 2006-2007 (though I’m pretty sure it was 2006). I don’t remember it exactly, but my sister got both games from friends and I had heard of that series before and I was ecstatic to play them. Fell in love immediately (quite literally - Roxas ♥ XD), and I was devastated that the series started to jump all over different consoles because I didn’t have the money to buy a bunch of consoles for all games. When I heard about the Remastered Versions in 2013, I was delighted and pre-ordered KH1.5 immediately, although I never really finished even my KH1 playthrough because life just sucked at that time for me. Didn’t even touch CoM. And I only got to put my hands on KH2.5 last June, but damn, that changed everything. I made an effort to actually play both discs, I fell in love with the Wayfinder Trio, I fell in love especially with Aqua, I remembered what a sweetie Sora is, I finally learned how wrong teenage me treated Riku, I kind of learned a lot about myself because it was such a unique experience to replay those games (at least KH1 and KH2) after 10 years to see how much my perception of them and life itself changed. God that sounds mushy I know...

8. I’ve collected over 80 volumes of Detective Conan... and now I consider selling them LOL.

9. I used to say that I hate kids. Well, maybe not babies, but school kids, teenagers, those who were loud and obnoxious and disrespectful in public transport. God I hate those so much. But I don’t get to say it anymore because there’s this tiny 3 year old niece of mine who means the world to me.

10. I used to binge watch markiplier’s horror game playlists during a time I felt really bad about myself. I don’t know why, I don’t even like horror that much and I never play horror games for myself, but I loved watching those so much. Watching his current RE7 playthrough makes me feel like those times (in a good “I have so much fun with Mark” way).

11. When I was 9, I got a Pikachu plush doll. My parents told me years later that they were really hesitating to buy it, it was so freaking expensive (Pokémon had just become a thing that year) and they were really worried they would waste the money for me to throw it into the corner after a few days. Nuh-uh! I carried that little mouse EVERYWHERE. I played with it all the time. It had to survive the washing machine so many freaking times (we had to redraw the light reflections in its eyes with white out though LOL). It is less plushy, the yellow faded out, but I still have my little buddy. It’s probably 2 meters away from me in a box xD Okay maybe 2.5 meters.

Tagging @theysangastheyslew, @cinnamoncountess, @geissbock and whoever else wants to do this!