#the way i literally jumped for joy I AM THRIVING

[dawntainbobbynash]

“Bobby delves deep into memories of his childhood, unearthing moments from his fractured past”

[gildedphoenixx]

if you create, you're an artist

we're starting to write our teaching philosophies in my art education class rn so excuse me while i go on a little bit of a ramble

I am a firm believer in the fact that anyone can be an artist. If you find joy and purpose in what you make, congrats! You're an artist. I don't care if it's a huge realism painting that could rival the Mona Lisa, a crochet blanket project you made as a gift, a lopsided bowl you made in ceramics, or even a throwaway doodle on a napkin at a restaurant. If you made it, and you found joy in it, it's art in my eyes and you're an artist.

I've had family members try and argue with me that art is some magical talent people are born with and they'd never be able to obtain the level of skill that I'm at. I say "not with that attitude." I believe that with the right tools and access to learning, anyone can learn to create. You can learn to draw, to paint, to knit, or crochet. You can learn ceramics and sculpting. You can learn. It takes a lot of practice and time to become a "master" at it, but that's how any skill works. I didn't pop out of the womb holding a paint brush and pallete and immediately be able to produce fully rendered semi-realistic paintings like I can now. Hell, I couldn't even do that a few years ago! It took most of my life messing around and practicing to get anywhere near as good as I am now. And guess what? I'm still learning and practicing. But we all start somewhere. It's the passion to create and the tools made available to us that allow us to thrive and grow as artists.

Sure, to some extent I know that some people are able to see color in different ways or have a better imagination. But if you don't, that doesn't mean you can't do art. Literally everyone sees the world differently. Some people are more go-with-the-flow thinkers, while some are more analytical. Some people jump right into an art project with no plan, others plan things out down to every single brush stroke. Maybe that means you don't do art as a career, but that doesn't mean you're not an artist. You can be both a lawyer and an artist, a doctor and an artist, a mathematician and an artist, a cashier and an artist. You can be anything and an artist.

Another thing about art is how many options there are. Painting, ceramics, print making, jewelry making, sculpture, photography, digital art, knitting. The list goes on and within those categories, there's more categories! For example, painting can be broken down into so many different types of paint: oil, acrylic, watercolor, gauche, and probably more. But my point is, if one medium doesn't work for you, there's a ton more options to pick from. That's the beauty of art. Let's say you're really struggling with painting realism. Proportions and colors just are lining up the way you want. You can't get the right angle and nothing looks right. Well, before you throw everything down in frustration and quit all art forever... might I suggest photography? Using a camera would allow you to still play with angles and color (or even black and white) while keeping those proportions just the way you want. You could explore different lens types or mess around with film. It's a whole new medium to explore. Or if you want to give painting another shot, there's a way to take photos and make an exact copy of said photo using grid lines on to a canvas to keep those same proportions. And color mixing can be thought of like a science in a way.

Anyways, do you see what I'm getting at?

There's many different ways to approach the teaching of art to make it accessible and fun. So even if you think you can't do it, a good teacher will help you find a way that makes sense.

Art is so versatile and there's literally no wrong answers or any wrong way to do it. It's all subjective. It's all open ended. It's meant to be fun and a way for people to express themselves, connect to others, and communicate without even speaking a word. There's an infinite amount of ways to play with mediums in art. You can start whenever and however you want. With enough time and practice you can make what you want. And if you're hesitant to start on the grounds of thinking you're not an artist I'm here to tell you that you're wrong.

Anyone can be an artist.

[figs-and-cigs]

Living with BPD, here are some tips.

1. Meditation & Centering – Meditation has been my anchor. When emotions flare up, centering myself is my first line of defense. It helps me to step back, observe, and avoid impulsive reactions. There are hundreds of ways to meditate. Spending 5 minutes in the morning to build that skill makes all the difference.

2. Mastering the Art of Masking – Keeping emotions under wraps, especially painful ones, has been essential. A genuine smile or neutral expression is my go-to, and I focus on empathy while keeping the conversation on the other person. Acting "as if" I am a duck (floating on the surface even if I'm paddling like crazy under the water). I focus on DOing the next right thing.

I hate the term masking, but emotional vulnerability is something I choose carefully. Let me clarify though, I do NOT mask who I am or my personality. I experience my emotions, I am not my emotions. Intense emotions and black and white thinking are things I need to sort out on my own, with a trusted partner, friend, or therapist. I used to allow my emotions to lead every situation, emotions can change quickly which is why putting them in charge led to instability. Masking in this sense does not mean hiding for me, it means functioning in most situations, and responding vs. reacting. I can always step away from a situation if needed.

3. Private Pleasures as Rewards – It’s important to have something that’s all your own. Finding personal pleasures and indulging in them privately—dancing, music, art, whatever brings me joy. Rewarding my efforts makes all the difference. Enjoying myself, building relationship with myself, has repaired my confidence and loss of identity. My BPD voice would have me doubt and even hate myself - it's easier to love and appreciate myself when I do nice things for me. When I act like a loving partner to all parts of myself.

4. The Simple Tricks – When things get intense, I take a moment to smile, count to ten, and think about something meaningful to me. Focusing on my fingertips or wiggling my toes. A deep breath can make the difference between acting on impulse and a rough moment. TIPP Protocol when things are too intense. Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, Paired Muscle Relaxation. Hold something hot or cold (or hop in the shower) for a minute, do something to get my heart rate up (dancing, jumping), then laying down to tense and relax my muscles from head to toe while breathing deeply. TIPP Protocol literally stops emotional hijacking.

5. Support, support, support. I touched on this in number 2. Having a therapist, trusted partner(s), and trusted friends is a must. I do need outlets for the Borderline thoughts, people can give a more "grey area" perspective and offer non-judgement. The reassurance that my thoughts and feelings "make sense", and can celebrate the times I respond rather than react. And important piece of this was learning not to unload in ways that would cause harm - I had to stop attention seeking through acting out, text bombing, passive aggression, and active aggression and learn to communicate in healthy ways. "I'm struggling with this, I'm thinking this way about it. I'm feeling like this. I would like your ear, your experience, or a huge." I do not expect my support people to change how I'm feeling, just to be witnesses to my experience and growth.

Thriving with BPD is possible—through awareness, boundaries, and finding fulfillment in ways that are uniquely yours.

[capableandenough]

Sparkle

Word of the Year. When I was trying to choose my word for this year, something to set my intentions around and to focus on throughout 2024, nothing really jumped out at me like it has in the past. So, I googled a list of “Word of the Year” options and made a list of all the words that really resonated with me. From my list, the two that stood out the most were “Sparkle” and “Thrive.” This past year, and MANY throughout my life, has been about surviving. Just making it through the best I can. But I strongly believe that we were not put on this planet to “just survive.” We were meant to thrive.

Inspired by myself going overboard with the glitter last night for New Year’s Eve, I chose “Sparkle.” I feel that “Sparkle” encompasses thriving as well. After all, it’s difficult to sparkle and shine when you’re just getting by, scraping through, surviving. 2023 was the year of Barbie, Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Princess Peach, and an overall growth in women supporting women. I want to keep that momentum going for myself. One thing all these (real and fictional) women have in common is that they thrive. They sparkle and shine. But how will this word apply to me?

She leaves a little sparkle wherever she goes.

This has always been one of my favorite quotes. Last night I may or may not have left a literally glitter trail everywhere I went. But for serious, in life I want to be the woman who enters a room and there is always at least one person (preferably more) who notices and/or is happy to see me. I want to be the woman whose presence leaves a mark. When I leave the room, I want people to have good feelings and nice things to say. I want to be noticed and I want it to be for my joy, my confidence, my kindness, my generosity, my compassion. I want to be a woman that others aspire to be more like. I want to be a blessing and not a burden. I want to be one of the first people that other people, especially the women in my life, want at their dinner party, book club, networking event, etc. I want to leave a positive, impactful, and lasting impression on everyone I meet.

This means working on loving myself. It means to quit seeking approval from outside and start building my confidence from within. It means starting to believe that I can be, that I am already, this woman that I aspire to be. If I don’t believe it, no one else is going to.

Never let anyone dull your sparkle.

My confidence has to come from within and so does my joy. I cannot let other people or bad situations bring me down. I won’t be the person I want to be if I let that happen. This doesn’t mean “positive vibes only” or pretending to be happy when I’m not. It means feeling my feelings but choosing to rise above. It means fortifying my cracks with gold. It means if I find myself in a pit, I am going to claw my way out and emerge victorious. It means never going back to “just surviving.” And it means being truthful, vulnerable, completely raw, but being able to find joy in the pain. Not plastering a fake smile on my face and pretending everything is okay but choosing to find the positive and the lesson in every situation. It means being truly authentic. The strongest and shiniest diamond needs to be tested to see if it’s real. Surface may get smudged but after a quick “cleaning,” it shines again. That’s what this means to me. Authenticity. True shine. Like a diamond.

Honestly, there is so much more I could say about the word “Sparkle” and about why I’ve chosen it for 2024. But for now, I’ll leave you with this.

Here are some other words that I feel “Sparkle” encompasses:

Thrive, obvs.

Self-Love.

Enough.

Worthy.

Balance. (Gotta keep those chakras aligned.)

Freedom. (For me this means freedom from alcohol, from other’s opinions, from debt, etc.)

Unchained. (Same as freedom, but with a cool mental image.)

Some quotes/affirmations that I found online (not sure where all of them came from):

Eat glitter for breakfast and shine all day.

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.– Elisabeth Kubler Ross

A diamond doesn’t ask if it can shine. It just does.

“A star never lets anything dull its sparkle, not even darkness.” - Matshona Dhliwayo

Life won’t sparkle unless you do.

Do what makes your soul shine.

Less Bitter, More Glitter.

Consider the fact that maybe…just maybe…beauty and worth aren’t found in a makeup bottle, or a salon-fresh hairstyle, or a fabulous outfit. Maybe our sparkle comes from somewhere deeper inside, somewhere so pure and authentic and REAL, it doesn’t need gloss or polish or glitter to shine. - Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

[winningwithlaughter]

Playing Games

I've often heard the expression "don't play games with me." It's an unusual expression that I understand, but don't vibe with, as it gives game playing a bad rap.

Games are meant to be playful, not manipulative, and the intent is to bring joy, excitement and even healthy competition to the moment.  It’s a departure from the grind, an energy shift into presence and the lightness of being. A game can serve to be a bonding, taking a group of individuals and giving them a group purpose. It’s an opportunity to focus, removing us from the cacophony of noises that pound on the daily into our senses. 

The word “playful” derives its meaning from the word “play,” meaning that we’re filled (full) with play and joy.  No stressors exist from work or financial dealings. We’re in the moment, and that moment is anxiety free.  Unless, of course, the angst is from being competitive-about-stupid-shit like I am. I treat some games like the Super Bowl, even pulling a hamstring playing Charades.  Ever trying acting out “whole thing” of Titanic? Daddy went down with the ship, literally! 

One affirmation/confirmation I’ve heard many times is that I’m a good dad.  I would humbly agree.  Contrary to what kind of an ass I can be to adults, my four kids get a devoted and loving father 24/7. No matter what difficult circumstances are thrown this way, the centered ground of being a great parent cannot be tumbled. Fumbled, yes, tumbled, no.  The committed roots of love are too strong.  One thing my children will never grow up to work out in therapy is - “I was raised with no laughs by a boring man who never smiled.”  Ha!

Not having a dad in my life as a child reinforces the yearning to be an active, loving and supportive father to the four Shoemaker kids. I give them all I longed for as a boy.  

One thing that stayed with me, and inspires me aways to heal, is missing what the other kids had - playing with their pops.  I recall being so resentful of my neighbors, who had a large family unit, all referring to events as “my dad” this and “my dad” that.  I sarcastically called the oldest boy next door, “my dad,” acting as if he was trying to make me jealous, when indeed he was simply spelling out his activity that day.  “My dad is taking us to Phillies game.” Grrrr.  It would send me to envy and sadness, knowing I could never utter those words. 

One Father’s Day 18 years ago, my son Justin cued up the scene from Field of Dreams, where Kevin Costner’s character, Roy Kinsella, asks his ghost father, “do you want to have a catch?” With a devilish look on his face, Justin pressed play, and watched me bawl my eyes out, while begging him to stop the video.  

That classic film is all based in the world of the game of baseball, metaphoric meanings aplenty, with family love at the core.  All walks of life, varying goals and agendas, are all brought together by a game some have never even played.  They found bliss on a field created from dreams. We can do the same in our lives, creating a personal world that’s not so dark and serious, abundant with emotional freedom. 

My children thrive when we engage in games. Before bed I give them choices of invented family customs we play out.  Most often they choose trivia we call, “Keyser Soze,” where my knowledge nudgers are spawned from looking around the room, like Keyser Soze made up his story in the film, The Unusual Suspects.  For instance, I spy the vertical window blinds and ask, “what blind singer sang Georgia?” 

We laugh a lot, even if it’s making fun of me for asking a dumb question.  I’ll trip on a banana peel for them.  Laughter is the greatest form of intimate unity.  

I say we humans pull away from the evil triad of fear, doubt and worry, and jump on the train of love, light and laughter.  If happiness is the goal, then there will be less “mind games” to worry about.  You get to create your own energetic space, and the mean folks will go away when your vibe is about fun.  

What kind of games do you play with your loved ones and friends? Share that.  It’s better than sharing a photo of your ass in a thong at a beach we’re not at! 

Oh. Gotta go. My kids have a Frisbee, waiting for their dad to play…on the sand…in front of our luxury hotel…in sunny Maui…where you’re not.  

Hahaha.  Just playing with you.  Have a fun day, wherever you’re playing your games! 

[sarahmaclean]

Adriana Herrera’s Books Are Absolute Bangers

Ok, look. If you’ve been paying attention to me literally anywhere (Hi! I have a podcast and I’m on Instagram, too!), you know that I am an Adriana Herrera evangelist. Yes, we’re friends, but this is one of those friendships that I literally willed into being because I love her books so much -- I think her American Dreamer series is an absolutely killer debut romance series and since she published it, she’s shown again and again that she can effing write. 

But this year -- 2022, the year of an absolute nightmarescape -- Adriana has put out two books that I really think are not just her best but some of the best in the whole genre. Let me explain: 

Romance is going through a thing right now. All of publishing is, honestly, and I can’t really blame it, considering that it’s incredibly difficult to write while it feels like the world is on fire. The books that are being written right now seem to be generally softer than the ones that came before the pandemic. They’re quieter. Gentler. They’re less edgy. And for a genre that has always been willing to explore that edge -- that’s a big change. And for me, who loves explosions and fist fights and characters who tear shit up...well, I’m not always satisfied.

But Adriana isn’t writing quiet or gentle. She’s writing big and bold. This year, she released On the Hustle, which features a heroine who quits her job working for a rich asshole on page one, only for him to realize that he’s well and truly fucked up...he follows her across the country to fix it, realizing that he’s gone for her, and now he has to absolutely remake himself to fix it and win her. It’s sexy and deeply romantic and absolute FIRE. There are friends who are loyal and hilarious and perfect, and a hero with thighs the size of tree trunks.

Now. On the Hustle alone would have ensured Adriana’s place as one of the best of us, but she’s a double threat. (A triple threat if you consider she also released a very delicious monster romance this year. Wait. Make that a quadruple threat, because she writes erotic romance, too--honestly this one with a hot lady Santa is 🔥!) 

She also released A Caribbean Heiress in Paris, a Victorian romance set at the Paris World’s Fair featuring a Latinx heroine who has plans to build a rum empire and a Scottish hero with a whisky distillery who marries her for convenience and eventually bends over backwards to ensure she thrives. There are villains and explosions and sex scenes atop of the Eiffel Tower. There are friends who are loyal and hilarious and perfect, and a hero with thighs the size of tree trunks (you see this is a VERY GOOD pattern).

ANYWAY. PUT ALL THIS IN MY VEINS.

But here’s the thing: She’s also writing strong, sexy, smart characters in situations that put their backs to the wall. She’s writing about the world around us and how we can find ways to tear it down and rebuild it so we can thrive. She’s writing about love in all its forms, really ensuring that at least one corner of romance is underscoring, in the words of bell hooks: “love is the practice of freedom.” Her books are doing the work right now. And I really believe they’re the romance classics of our time. 

Anyway. Read On the Hustle right now. It’s a banger of a book -- sexy, fun, has  a hero who is just fully gone for the heroine from the jump, and will make you desperate for a group of friends just like the heroine’s. It’s the perfect weekend read. And when you’re done, immediately get A Caribbean Heiress in Paris, which is brilliant, sexy and an absolute joy. I promise you, putting Adriana on your autobuy will be the best thing you did all year. 

--

Is this what I should be doing here on Tumblr? Because this was a very fun post to write and as you can see I LIKE ROMANCE NOVELS A LOT. LMK if I should do more of these! 

[fullmetalscullyy]

omg Emma my love I am literally writing this with my eyes half-closed but I was thinking of sending you a prompt AND!!!!!!! This is ur free pass to write a fluffy (angsty is fine w me too tbh, you know the drill LMAO) one-shot post My Inferno 🤩🤩🤩 like maybe after they get married or smt… idk… kehdjsjdjsjdjs would simply combust tbh ILY 🥺🥺❤️❤️ ty for being a blessing to the royai community, u a real one my dude 🥰🥰💕💕

eri omg ur too kind and tytyty for giving me a push to return to this fic 💖💕💓 i've been rereading it all week and it's been the best time!! this ask has brought me so much joy, inspiration, and motivation to write for royai again which i cannot thank u enough for

i hope u enjoy this wee oneshot for this au :) i went for some soft royai (bc obvs ofc i did 😌) bc its what these two deserve. supportive, happy, and unburdened royai is a fantastic royai

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

stay and burn forever - a oneshot sequel to My Inferno

summary: roy and riza finally get their honeymoon after a year of touring

rated: t | words: 2673

read on ao3 | read on ffnet

read My Inferno on ao3 | ffnet

The mountain air was crisp and fresh as it caressed the skin of Riza's face. It was invigorating and so different from the air in Central City, where she lived. The coolness of it in the morning light caused a shiver to ripple down her spine, so she tugged her cardigan tighter around herself to be further protected as she enjoyed the view.

The sun had risen a few hours ago and it was currently lazily making its way across the clear, bright, blue sky. There was not a cloud to be seen, contributing to the chill of the morning, however Riza didn’t mind. It was so different from the vistas she’d been used to for the past year. The trees, plants, and fresh air were a welcome change from sprawling cities and artificial lights seen through glass from high-rise hotels.

Hayate hurried out onto the deck after her before she could close the sliding door on him. After sniffing around the tables and chairs laid out to the right he darted to the left and down the steep set of stairs to the small grass covered area to frolic and explore. Riza chuckled as she watched him go. He was getting older, but you wouldn’t think it by looking at him. Right now he had the energy of a puppy as he hopped down the stairs and ran around the grass, jumping into the small patches of snow which had yet to melt in the shaded parts of the garden.

The deck she was stood on was raised about ten feet of the ground, as was the cabin, which was her temporary home. It wrapped around the back of the cabin, a wooden railing following its path, giving them views in almost every direction. They were atop the treeline in the valley beyond, as the ground continued to dip past the boundaries of the garden. Looking outward, the valley stretched out long before Riza. She could see right down it to the mountains which marked its end. They jutted out of the lush greenery thriving on the valley floor, making a magnificent panorama for Riza to appreciate as she sipped her morning coffee. It was a morning routine she could definitely get used to.

Birdsong filled the air as the breeze lazily made its way through the trees, rustling their branches and leaves, sounding almost like a distant waterfall. The river she’d walked to yesterday after arriving appeared to be close, however far enough from the cabin that it was simply a quiet rumble, drowned out now by the wind. A buzzing bee flew past her head and down to the plants below. Colour burst from the planters thanks to the new, fresh buds, ready to flourish now it was spring. For a few minutes she watched the bee go about its task of collecting nectar.

Her small haven for the next two weeks was picturesque. It was secluded and left Riza with such an immense feeling of peace. There was no work to do, no deadlines to meet. No one was badgering her with offers and there were no obligations to do interviews or any other kind of media events. She was happy to do these things and it came with her job, but it had been a long year touring and promoting her album, and the idea that she could simply lie in bed all day if she really, truly wanted to sounded like heaven. It was refreshing. A break from the stress and demands of performing. There was no one to demand her attention –

Hayate barked as he tried to play with the birds swarming the bird feeders hanging on the tree at the bottom of the garden. Well, perhaps there was one person to demand her attention. The poor guy, he’d caused them to scatter in fright in his attempt to make friends. His tail slowly stopped wagging and he whined as he looked up into the tree, now bare and vacated by the small birds.

“You scared them away, Hayate,” Riza called to him. He looked distressed as he looked over at her and let out another whine, making her smile at his antics. He must not have been too put out though because his nose returned to the ground and he scampered off to follow another scent.

She sighed happily to herself as the sliding door opened behind her. The noise was quiet and her guest didn’t speak a word but even still, Riza found it difficult not to smile at the announcement of company. Arms wrapped around Riza’s midsection from behind. They held her tight and gave her body a quick squeeze in greeting.

“Good morning, Mrs. Mustang,” came a sleepy voice.

Riza relaxed back into Roy’s hold and smiled to herself. “Who’s she? That’s not my name, Roy.”

He hummed as he pressed his nose into her hair. It brushed against the skin behind her ear before he moved to press his cheek against hers. “She’s my wife. The light of my life. She’s the wonderful woman who owns my heart and soul and has a phenomenal singing voice. She just finished her first tour a few days ago and smashed it out of the park. Does that sound like anyone familiar to you?”

“Maybe.” Riza grinned as she spun in Roy’s hold. He easily relented and let her move but kept her caged within his arms.

He still looked tired, like she probably did too, however the smile on his face was filled with tenderness and love. His eyes were alert as he took her in, roving over her face as he cupped her cheeks gently within his palms.

“Good,” Roy replied, “because it’s you.” His head dipped and he kissed her, stealing away her breath like he did every time. “Good morning, Riza. My wife.”

“Morning, Roy,” she nearly sighed, breathless from such a welcome greeting. Then, she giggled. “My husband.”

It still felt like a dream, being able to call him that. The past year had been a whirlwind of activity that it was difficult to process sometimes, but he was always there. He was her rock, just like always. Steadfast, never failing, and not going anywhere soon, just like she was for him.

The dark circles which had been prominent beneath Roy’s eyes for the past few months were slowly starting to recede, but they were still there. The long hours working, helping her with whatever she needed and guiding her through her first tour, plus travelling had taken its toll on them both, so this was their chance to recover. A quiet, cosy mountain retreat together was exactly what they both needed, so they were going to make the most of it.

Riza ran her hands down Roy’s chest, lowering her gaze so her eyes could follow the same path, coming to a stop so she could fiddle with the drawstrings of his hoodie.

She didn’t miss how he shuddered beneath her ministrations either.

“What if I want you to be Mr. Hawkeye?”

“Riza, I will be anyone you want me to be.” He pecked her cheek, shooting her his trademark boyish grin.

Of course, he would. He’d give her the moon and the stars if she asked him to and the knowledge of that made her stomach flutter.

“I thought you would have slept longer,” Riza commented as he came to stand and rest against the railing by her side. He’d slipped a hoodie on over the t-shirt he’d slept in to protect against the chill, and it was too cold to go barefoot. Riza had quickly pulled trainers on in case she needed to clean up after Hayate or she wanted to play with him, but Roy had borrowed her slippers. The pale-yellow footwear must be enough to keep his toes warm because he wasn’t wearing any socks.

“I couldn’t sleep without you by my side.”

“I was gone for about five minutes.”

Roy shrugged unapologetically. “I noticed. And I stand by my original statement.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

A reassuring kiss was pressed against her temple as Roy wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Don’t worry about that. Ever. As I said before, I’m more than happy to rise early at the same time as you. It gives me more time in the day to spend with you after all,” he quipped. He’d said the same thing to her before, what felt like a lifetime ago.

Riza shook her head fondly and leaned her head against his shoulder as they both watched Hayate run around below them. “I like that too. But you do need to rest.”

“We both do,” he countered.

“Yes, but –”

“Riza,” he interrupted gently, shooting her a soft smile. “Every minute spent with you is worth it. Every minute of sleep we both lost over the past year was worth it, and it continues to be the same now.” He squeezed her shoulders in a side hug. “You don’t need to worry about me. This is our two weeks to rest, and I’ll do everything in my power to ensure it’s what we both deserve. Now that we even have a minute to do such a thing as relax,” he joked, causing Riza to laugh tiredly beside him.

Roy turned her so they were both facing one another.

“I’m extremely proud of you but right now, it’s just me and you. Just Roy and Riza.” He lifted a hand to brush her fringe away from her eyes with a tender touch, stroking her cheek with his thumb before his hand dropped to his side once more. “Right here, we’re a simple husband and wife who love each other very much. No albums, no tours, and no record labels. Just me and you.”

Riza felt her breath hitched as wetness clouded her eyes. Roy’s were the same as he gazed adoringly at her.

“I’m happy to rise with you at whatever time so we can face and enjoy the day together.”

She was so lucky. So grateful for him and his relentless drive to support and assist her in pursuing and achieving her dreams. To give it his all and cheer her on. To love her and try to give her everything he thought she deserved and more, just like she always wished to do for him.

Riza couldn’t wait to return the favour when it was his turn to tour.

They both met in the middle for a passionate, loving kiss.

“I love you, Roy. Thank you.”

“Love you too, Riza,” he grinned.

The sounds of the morning settled around them as they enjoyed the simple peace and quiet.

Now her tour was finished it was a relief. It had been a massive success. It had surpassed all of her expectations and blown them all out of the water. Riza had been baffled by the reception she’d received from fans, but Roy had simply smirked knowingly. It was maddening, but in a good way. He was her biggest fan and supporter. His never-ending faith and belief in her gave Riza strength and motivated her. He’d attended every show with her and had helped settle her nerves before she stepped out onto the stage in front of thousands of people. As soon as her set finished he was right there waiting in the wings, ready to welcome her into his arms with a kiss which weakened Riza at the knees.

She was so lucky to have him. She loved him with everything she had, and even saying that never felt enough. There were not enough words in the world to properly profess how deep her love and appreciation for Roy Mustang went. She’d told him as much, revealing he felt the same.

So, she often did it in song.

Riza had lost count of the number of lyrics she’d written or ideas she’d had which were drawn from her experiences with Roy and which were dedicated to how much she loved and adored her husband. The world may never know, but Riza made sure Roy did.

“This place is wonderful, Roy.” Riza sighed in contentment as she shifted against her husband to move closer to him.

He hummed in agreement. “I’m glad you think so. I’m glad I picked well.”

“You picked very well. It was a lovely surprise.”

He beamed at her. “I did say that one day I would whisk you off to a log cabin somewhere in the mountains where no one would bother us, didn’t I?”

Riza chuckled. “You did, yes.”

She couldn’t believe how long ago that was. She would call it a distant memory, but it was also the day Roy proposed, so she’d never forget it. That day stood out in her mind with startling clarity.

“So, this is a great start to our honeymoon?”

Riza craned her neck to look up at him suspiciously. “To start our honeymoon? Just what else have you got planned, Mr. Hawkeye?”

A mischievous grin lit up his face as his eyes sparkled with glee. “Well, it was a long time coming. I’ve had a long time to think. The tour put it on hold for us, which wasn’t a problem,” he quickly reassured her. “I’ve had the best time touring with you and I forgot how fun it could be when you do it with the ones you love,” he grinned. “You’ve worked so hard for so long and I’m so, soproud of all you’ve achieved. You deserve all the rest and relaxation in the world after that alone, not to mention a way to celebrate the end to your first tour.”

Riza blinked up at him. “This sounds like we’ll be busy for a while.”

Roy winked at her. “Of course. Only the best for us. So,” he started, straightening his spine and holding out a closed fist so he could count off on his fingers. “This is our honeymoon.” He lifted one finger. “Then we’ve got to celebrate the end of your tour separately from this.” He lifted a second finger. “And I still need to hold up on my promise of us going to a cabin in the mountains for a week so I can sequester you away from the world and we can be alone and undisturbed.”

Her head tipped back as she laughed. “Are you going to kidnap me away from the world?”

“I might have to in order to spend time with my wife.” His smile turned wolfish. “You’re so brilliant and successful, so in demand, that I may need to make such a bold statement in order to gain your attention and affection.”

“You could of course just ask me.”

“Ah, I could,” he agreed emphatically, eyes twinkling with amusement. “But where is the fun in that?”

A thrill ignited itself within Riza’s stomach, causing a wide smile to spread across her face. Her excitement and joy must have been infectious because Roy returned it eagerly.

“Let’s make all the future plans together, Riza,” he breathed, dropping all his jokes. Amusement was replaced with excitement and enthusiasm at the prospect of their future together.

“I would be more than happy to do that with you, Roy.” She stepped into him, wrapping her arms around his neck so she could toy with strands of his hair. “And I would drop everything for you in a second if you asked, you know that, right? You don’t need grand gestures to gain my attention.”

She laughed at his playful pout. Riza kissed it away, causing Roy to react instantly and hold her even tighter.

“I adore how you keep me on my toes, but I will always have time for you, no matter how busy we get.”

“I love you so much, Riza,” he murmured before captivating her in a bruising kiss.

“I love you too, Roy. Let’s do it. Let’s make all the memories and go on all the adventures. I can’t wait to do it all with you.”

feel free to leave a comment and kudos on ao3 or a review on ffnet :)

likes and reblogs are always much appreciated <3

[ppersonna]

tempestuous - kth | m

tem·pes·tu·ous - adjective - characterized by strong and turbulent or conflicting emotion

↳ summary- There’s no one who riles you up more than Kim Taehyung, your best friend’s brother.  He knows exactly how to make you fly off the handle.

↳ rating- explicit / 18+

↳ word count- 6.8k

↳ pairing- taehyung x reader

↳ genre- smut, minor angst i guess in the form of fighting, this is one big pile of smut, there’s some fluff too

↳ warnings- yikes where to begin.  angry sex, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (don’t be like dis), slapping, spanking, pain kink, dom/sub elements, facefucking, really rough sex, finger sucking, derogatory names, uhhh name calling, hate sex, tae is fuckin nasty yall im thriving

↳ a/n- I HAD TO REUPLOAD bc tumblr sucks lol well folks. here we are.  i was given a prompt by @ladyartemesia​ so i blame her.  as for tae, he really came for me this week and completely wrecked me, love that for me. i really popped off here and it’s only edited by me so i’m SORRY if there’s a lot of mistakes.  fun fact i actually wrote almost 10k of another version of this but it frustrated me so badly i scrapped it lmao  🤡 HERE WE GO! Enjoy!  feel free to send in your requests and i promise to try and get it done for you! 

Kim Taehyung could only be described in a few words.

Infuriating, bothersome, vexing.

Gorgeous, breathtaking, suave.

Absolutely, inherently maddening.

And you hate how much you absolutely melt underneath his gaze, the way your heart leaps into your throat with a single word.  Your body, the ultimate betrayer, opens up to him as your brain screams to abort, reverse, go back to start and do not pass go.

Kim Taehyung is not just the bane of your existence, no.  He’s the little brother of your best friend, Kim Namjoon.   Joonie had been in your life since you were in first grade and he in second.  Taehyung was your age, but you hit it off with the older boy and haven’t separated since.  Your mothers joked that you would get married one day and continue on the Kim line.  Until they found out that Namjoon was 1) bisexual and 2) hopelessly in love with, ironically, a man named Kim Seokjin.   He reasoned to his parents that they would at least carry on the Kim name.  

Where Namjoon was sweet, caring, and deeply compassionate towards you, Taehyung was his alter.  Taehyung was brash, cocky and relished in watching you squirm, whether it be out of fury or the god forsaken sexual tension.  All growing up, he was the one to pull your pigtails, trip you into puddles of mud, and tease you in front of your friends. Namjoon, ever the faithful companion, was always there to pick up the pieces of what Taehyung broke.

It’s been that way with Taehyung ever since. A constant tug of war with each other, both unwilling to give a single inch to the opponent.  

Your relationship with Namjoon remained steadfast as ever.  Namjoon eventually moved in with his now-husband, Seokjin, who easily settled into your life as an additional partner in crime.  You spent most of your days and nights settled into the couch, snuggled somehow in between or next to one of the two men you cherished most.  You had the two best friends you could ask for and a happy life, blissfully Taehyung-free.

Until it wasn’t.

A loud knock wakes you from an unexpected nap on Namjoon’s couch.  Your eyes crack open against the glare of the sunlight streaming through the windows.  It takes a moment to gather your surroundings.  You recognize that you’re in Namjoon and Seokjin’s apartment, and judging by the silence, you’re definitely alone there.  As you reach for your phone, the screen lights up the time.  5:34 pm.  Well, shit. You remember eating brunch and drinking mimosas at noon with your best friends and then lying on the couch to watch Netflix.  How had you fallen asleep for five hours?  How did you not wake? What the fuck did Jin put in his mimosas?

The knock is insistent again, louder this time.

“Joon! Jin! it’s me! Open up!”

The voice sounds familiar in your sleep-addled mind, but not quite enough to pinpoint it.   You push your limp body off the couch and wince at the feeling of sore muscles.  Couch sleeping isn’t all it’s cracked up to be once you’re past the age of 25.

“Sorry, Namjoon isn’t here-,” You open the door to explain to the guest and you’re cut off.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

You rub at your sleepy eyes and allow your vision to focus, only to feel your blood stand still in your veins.

Kim Taehyung.  Of fucking course.

“What do you mean, why am I here? I’m always here,” you tut as you fold your arms to your chest.  “What are you doing here?”

He rolls his eyes and holds up his hands, two suitcases clutched in each.  Who the fuck carries 4 suitcases up three flights of stairs? Kim annoying ass Taehyung does, apparently.

“I’m moving in.”  He pushes past you and into the living room.  

Your mouth gapes open.  Namjoon certainly didn’t tell you this.  Taehyung looks back at chuckles at your reaction.

“I’m guessing your best friend didn’t tell you the happy news?”

You shut your mouth, quickly jumping back into composure.  “No, he failed to mention that,” you sniff.  “I thought you lived with your girlfriend in Gangnam?  What was her name? Rose or whatever?”

Tae stiffens, just slightly for a moment, before he plasters back on the bravado.  “Obviously not anymore.  We broke up, she kept the apartment.  Got tired of moping at my mom’s house and I told Namjoon I wanted to come back to the city.”

You feel a slight tug at your stomach, guilt, perhaps?  You clear your throat.  “Oh, I’m sorry.”

He laughs as he sits on the couch, instantly throwing his feet onto the coffee table, like a heathen.  “No, you’re not.”  

“What do you mean, no I’m not? God, sorry for being polite!”

This, you reason, is why you can’t sustain longer than 5 minutes of civilized conversation with your best friend’s younger brother.  He’s impossible.

He just smirks, and you know he loves the rise he gets out of you.

“Because I know you, and I know you don’t give a fuck about my love life.”

Au contraire. If only he knew just how much you gave a fuck.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t be nice to you!” you nearly stamp your foot in frustration but hold yourself back. That would be too good of ammo for him to use against you.

“Okay, fine,” he acquiesces. “Whatever helps you feel you’re a good person.”

You’re seeing red and you know you want to continue screaming at him but you will not stoop to his level.

“Christ, I haven’t seen you in months and you’re still an asshole,” you say as you grab your keys and shoes. “And also, Jin will kill you if he sees your feet on his coffee table.”

You whip yourself around and open the door to leave and hear him call over your shoulder.

“Good to see you too, doll! Love the hairstyle, by the way.”

You close the door with a growl leaving your throat.  The absolute audacity of that man.

You stomp towards the elevator to take yourself to the ground level, when you catch your reflection in the shiny metal. Your hair is in what you can only lovingly call a complete hornet’s nest. It’s ratted and sticking out in places and you feel your cheeks burn.  Your first reintroduction with Taehyung is with a fight AND with you looking like a fool.

This would not do. No, sir.

“Kim Namjoon!” you shriek into your cell phone.  You’re awkwardly pressing it against your ear with your shoulder as you walk out of the convenience store under your apartment building with 3 bottles of soju and a six-pack of beer. You needed to drown your shame and sorrow, and fast.

“Hello, love of my life and moon of my stars,” your best friend replies and you can hear Seokjin chuckle in the background.

“No!” You chide, already cracking a beer open as you storm into your apartment building. “Don’t you Khal Drogo me, mister! Why the fuck didn’t you tell me your fucking asshole brother was moving in with you?!”

Namjoon is silent and you can tell he’s wincing on the other end of the phone. “Oops?” He offers.

“Yeah, big oops! A heads up would have been nice! Like, ‘hey best friend, your worst enemy of all time is moving in today. Maybe you shouldn’t fall asleep on my couch and wake up looking like Frankenstein’s ugly wife. Oh, and also my handsome boyfriend and I will just happen to not be there when he arrives’.”

By this time, you can tell Namjoon has put you on speakerphone because you can hear their rich laughter loud and clear. Rude bitches.

You stab your key code into your door and lock yourself in, chugging as much of the beer as you could handle.

“At least, even in her rants she thinks I’m handsome,” Jin gloats.

“I’m sorry babe,” Namjoon sighs as he finally calms down. “I didn’t know he would be there today. I just found out about it last night.”

You nibbled at your bottom lip, the annoying pit in your stomach feeling simultaneously guilty that he went through a breakup, unbridled joy that something brought him down a peg, and just a dash of excitement that he’s single now.

You let out a breath. “It’s okay, Joon.  It just surprised me to see him.”

Jin butts in, “And because you have a big, fat, unresolved crush on him.”

“Jin!” You admonish. The couple laughs again and you roll your eyes, asking yourself why you put up with the two. “I do not!”

They both hum a non-committal answer, implying they don’t believe you in the slightest.

“Whatever.  What are you guys doing, anyway?”

“We just got home from shopping.  God, Jin looked so good in these jeans he tried on.  I was actually just about to suck his coc-,”

“Kim Namjoon, do not finish that sentence! I do not wish to hear it!” You try to remain firm, but dissolve into giggles with the pair.

You could never stay mad at Namjoon long, even if his brother was the devil incarnate.

“Darling,” Jin calls through the phone.  “I still expect to see you at our place tonight for our sleepover.”

Christ, you had forgotten all about your scheduled sleepover night.  It was tradition and one of your favorite parts of your friendship with the couple.  Jin, a literal chef, prepared a five star meal along with dessert for you while you binge watched Netflix and talked incessantly.

But you also usually slept in their spare bedroom.  The exact one that Taehyung would be occupying.

“Fuck, while he’s there?”

“Oh suck it up,” Jin chides, like he’s your mother. “He’s probably not even going to leave his room.  You’re not getting out of this.  I’m making strawberry cheesecake.”

Your mouth waters at the idea of Jin’s famous cheesecake.  

“Fine, but I get to lick the bowl and not Namjoon.  Those are my terms.”

Namjoon squawked in defiance as Jin laughed.  “I agree to your terms.  Be at our place by 8.”

As you hung up the phone, you checked the time.  6:40.  God, he hadn’t left you with much time to get ready, did he?

And you definitely needed to get ready.  There was no way you were entering a room where Kim Taehyung exists looking like booboo the fool, not again.

Your fingers press the 6 digit passcode to Namjoon and Seokjin’s apartment, arms heavy laden with your bag of toiletries and pajamas, and a bag full of wine.

“Honey, I’m home!” You announce as you toe off your shoes and slide into the combined kitchen and living room.

You receive no reply, but greeted with the amused face of none other than the object of your filthiest dreams, Taehyung.

“Pet names already?  We’re moving pretty fast, wouldn’t you say?” He asks you as he lounges at the kitchen table.  He watches you open the fridge to set the wine, as comfortable in their home as you are in yours.

“Fuck off,” you grumble. “Where’s your brother?”

Tae seemed absolutely tickled by your disgruntlement.  “I think they mentioned something about taking a shower.  That was 20 minutes ago, though.”

“Great,” you sigh. “Those fucking horn dogs act as if they’re still newlyweds.  We’ll be waiting awhile.”  

You tug off your sweater, leaving you to remain in a fitted tank top and yoga pants.  You tried to maintain a comfortable look as you dressed for the evening, while keeping in mind which leggings hugged your ass and showed off your toned thighs, and a tank top that dipped low to your cleavage.  Okay, so maybe you had ulterior motives. You wanted to make up for your dreadful appearance earlier and make him squirm, payback for the years of him doing it to you.

You watch him as he lets his eyes roam your body, eying you like he wants to ravage you completely. You feel victorious… and also turned on. Fuck, you played yourself.

You flop onto the couch in a huff and Tae snorts before joining you.

“What’s so funny?” You eye him suspiciously.

“Nothing,” his smile feigns innocence. “I’m not allowed to laugh?”

You sniff in annoyance, not eager to fall for his tricks. “You’re allowed to do whatever you want, your highness.”  Sarcasm drips from your voice and Tae finds it even more humorous.

“I see you’re still a sassy bitch.”

You gasp, audibly startled by his language and rise from the couch, fists clenched.

“I see you’re still a conceited dick!”

He rises to meet you where you stand, eyes boring into your own with his stupid sexy grin on his face.  “I see you’re still not one to back down from a fight.”

You step closer, close enough to feel his breath on your face.  Idly, you note it smells like peppermint and you move closer on reflex.

“Yeah? I see you’re still not one to avoid starting a fight in the first place!” you huff.

“Oh, I started it?”  

“Yeah, you started it! You called me a bitch!”

You can’t believe this is happening.  You feel as if you’re 6 again and fighting with him over a toy.

“A sassy bitch, actually,” he corrects, taking another step forward, bodies touching.

“Fuck you!”

“Only if you say please,” he quips before he closes the distance and presses his lips to yours in a scorching hot kiss.

There’s not even a moment of hesitation on your end, immediately pulling him even closer and wrapping your arms around his neck and allowing his tongue entrance to your mouth.  Your body reacts to his instantly, as if it’s wired to respond to him and him only. Your mind was blank of anything except Tae, only Tae please, and you acted purely on instinct alone.  And instinct was pulling him closer and begging, more, anything he could give.

The sound of laughter coming from the hallway pulls you apart, neither of you wanting to get caught by Namjoon or Jin.  You stare at him, his lips are cherry red and slightly swollen and the image burns into your retinas.  He has such pretty lips after you’ve kissed him.

“Oh hey! What’s going on here?” Namjoon asks as he notices the intense eye-battle you’re engaged in with his younger brother.

It shakes you out of the spell, eye contact broken and hypnosis halted.  

“Just, errrr,” you falter to find the right words to explain the situation.

“Just getting reacquainted.”  Tae sounds completely unaffected, as if the passionate kiss you shared with him seconds ago was but a distant memory.  Asshole.

“I’m surprised you two haven’t thrown anything at each other yet,” Jin laughs. “Or thrown yourselves at each other.”

Both you and Taehyung whip to look directly at Jin.

“Her!?” Tae is incredulous. “Gross.”

You’ll never admit out loud that his words wound you.

“You’re an asshole, Taehyung,” you punctuate your words by turning away from him and towards Namjoon, who appears amused as ever.

“Ah, I love when my best friend and my little brother are screaming at each other.  Feels like old times.  Can one of you cry now to complete the moment?”

Taehyung grumbles under his breath, something you can’t catch, and stalks off to his room.  The slam of his door reverberates in the apartment and Jin jumps and turns to yell down the hall at his brother-in-law.

“Yah! Don’t break my apartment! I still owe money on this!”

Despite Taehyung’s appearance every so often in the kitchen or living room, the rest of the night goes on with no annoying disturbances.

Jin spoils you and his husband with expensive food, and the best cheesecake you’ve ever eaten in your life.  Plus, you’re given the bowl to lick clean despite a desperately adorable pout from Namjoon you were sure would persuade Jin.

You’re settled on the couch, snuggling in the middle of the couple as an action movie flickers across the big screen tv.  Truthfully, you haven’t paid attention to a single thing happening, your thoughts entirely too absorbed in Taehyung and that deliciously infuriating kiss.  

Why did he do it?  You couldn’t comprehend his reasoning.  Perhaps he was doing it to piss you off.  He’s never angered you with that level of intimacy before, but you didn’t put it past him.

You’re surprised when the credits of the movie start rolling and Jin and Namjoon fake loud yawns.

“Oh man, I’m beat,” Namjoon lies.

Jin is quick to join. “Me too, I think I’ll pass out the moment I hit the pillow.”

You roll your eyes at the men. “Will you two please go fuck already, I know that’s what you’re going to do.”

Namjoon blanches, but Jin laughs and kisses your cheek. “Ah, my smart, beautiful and chaotic child,” he coos. He leans in to your ear, voice low to keep his husband from listening. “I don’t think I’m the only one in this house who’s going to get pounded into a mattress.”  

He pulls back and winks at you, deftly ignores Namjoon’s confusion and sadness of being left out, and drags him to their bedroom with a loud ‘goodnight’.

You’re left to stew in your own emotions, which is never a good thing.  Was the tension that obvious? You always assumed it had been one-sided, but the kiss befuddled you more than you’d like to admit.

It finally snapped in your mind, all the dots connecting. That’s why he did it.  

He kissed you so you’d stew and simmer and eventually erupt, like you’re doing now.  Taehyung knows you too well for your comfort.

You grab your bag of clothes and storm towards the bathroom to change, promising yourself to forget about the kiss and not give Taehyung what he wants.

Except you’re not very good at promises, especially to yourself.

You can’t say you’re excited to sleep on the couch again.  While it’s a nice couch, it’s definitely not a bed and your back will pay the price tomorrow.  You supposed it was better than the floor, but not by much.

After dressing in your pajamas, a purposefully picked out combination of tiny shorts and a sports bra in case Taehyung happens upon you, you return to your bed for the night in the living room.

Namjoon graciously left blankets and a pillow out for you, and you’re complaining internally about Taehyung the whole time you make yourself a spot to sleep.  If it wasn’t for stupid Taehyung and his stupid existence, you’d be sleeping like a baby on the guest bed that you loved.  But no, they relegated you to the couch like an animal.

Sleep was not in the cards tonight, it seems.  You toss and turn and try to press at the cushions to move a lump around and get comfortable, but it’s all for naught.  You’re wide awake and very, very uncomfortable.  You didn’t understand how you fell asleep on this very couch earlier in the day.  Maybe the mimosas you had at brunch with the couple had been helpful.

A thought crosses your mind. Alcohol.  Maybe a nice glass of wine would help tuck you into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.  A nightcap. Of course.  You were angry at yourself for not thinking of it hours ago.  

You slipped out of your disagreeable bed and into the kitchen, trying not to make a sound.  Jin’s beloved kitchen was also an echo chamber of noise, even the slightest sound bouncing off its walls and amplifying it through the whole house.  You still remember the way you jumped five feet in the air when Jin accidentally broke a plate.  It sounded like a bomb explosion.

You bite your lip as you carefully pry the cabinet of wine glasses open, careful to not even allow a squeak of a hinge.  You silently beg to stay silent and not wake anyone in the house.  You didn’t want to be caught drinking wine at 2 am in the dark, that’s difficult to explain without looking like an alcoholic.

With glass in hand, you tiptoe the fridge to pull out the bottle of merlot, thinking the heavy red wine would be the best to get you sleepy and quick.  

You tug the cork from the bottle and pour a healthy amount into the stemware with a smile.  Liquid sleep.  And you had done it without making a single sound. Perfection. The smell of the alcohol permeates through your nose as you lift the glass, placing it to your lips to take a sip.

“Wine at this hour?” the unexpected voice of Taehyung echos through the kitchen, making you yelp and jolting you hard enough that you drop the hard-earned glass of wine to the tile floor, red wine splashing as the sound of glass shattering is reverberating off the walls.

“Fuck!” You screech at the intruder.  Taehyung doubles over, laughing as if he’s seen nothing funnier than what just transpired.  “You asshole!”

You listen past Taehyung’s incessant laughter to ensure the owners of the apartment hadn’t awoken during the ruckus. You definitely did not want to face a tired and agitated Jin to tell him you shattered one of his Tiffany crystal goblets.

Beyond Tae, the house is silent and you’re thanking whatever god is listening for keeping your best friends asleep.

The wine is everywhere, spilling into the cracks of the tile and splattered on the walls.  The crystal stemware is too; it shattered with such force that you see flecks of the shrapnel in all four corners of the room.

Tae wipes a tear from his face and you square a tempestuous look at him.  

“Fucking help me!  You made me drop it!”

Through snorts, he replies. “I didn’t make you do anything.  You did that on your own.”  Although he is arguing with you, he’s gingerly stepping into the kitchen and kneeling to pick up shards of glass.

“I wouldn’t have dropped it if you had come into the room like a fucking normal person,” you grit.

He collects the glass, the delighted grin on his face now permanent.  He’s relishing in your annoyance, you know he is, and it burns you from the inside out.

“It’s not my fault you didn’t hear me.”

“You could have turned on the light! Why were you in the dark like a freak?”  You’re grasping at straws, anything to pin this all on him.  It would quell the fire in your belly to push it all onto him, make you feel as if you’ve won.

Taehyung levels a look at you.  “And you weren’t also in the dark? Pouring a gallon of wine for yourself?”

Your cheeks flare red. Fuck, he definitely caught you there.  You’re playing verbal poker with him and the hand you’re dealt falls flat compared to his royal flush.  He grins, knowing he has you.

“Fuck you,” you snark, you go to insult when you’re backed into a corner.

“Ah, doll,” he winks.  “We talked about that.  Be careful what you wish for.”

The fire inside you is roaring to an inferno now, flames licking to your core. It’s a complicated mixture of anger and sexual energy. It’s infuriating that he’s able to make you feel every single emotion to the extreme. You hate that arguing with him turns you on, like it’s some perverse foreplay.  

You moisten your lips with your tongue as you process his words, and Tae’s eyes hungrily track the appendage as it glides over your lips.

“Fuck. You.” You emphasize perfunctorily.

All thoughts of wiping up the mess are forgotten as Tae drags both you and himself off the floor and steers you to the living room, lips feverish against your own.  He pushes you into the couch and tugs his shirt off, before replacing his lips to yours.  

“Fuck, you’re so fucking hot when you’re a bitch,” he groans as he snaps the strap of your sports bra. “Seeing you get all worked up makes me so hard.”

He’s not wrong. You can see through his mesh basketball shorts that he’s sporting an impressive package, rock hard in its clothed prison.

“Yeah?” You bite at his lip.

“Hell yeah.”  His hands work to the elastic band under your bust and tugs the offending material off, tits springing free as he throws it to the floor.  

“Holy shit,” Taehyung breathes as he gets a good look at your chest.

You shake them gently, grinning as he watches them jiggle.  “You like what you see?”

He smirks and pinches a nipple, wiping the coy smile off your face and turning it into a moan.  “I like when you’re mouthy, but don’t push it.”  

He lowers his head to the nipple he’s still pinching in his fingers, licking at it and replacing his fingers with his mouth.  He’s moaning around the nipple, and you’re gasping for more.  His hot mouth sucks at you, teeth nibbling and pulling it until you’re whimpering in delicious pain.

“Fuck!” He cries as he pops away from your nipple.  “You’re so fucking hot.”

Your body warms at his words, arousal pooling between your legs.  You’re sure that your thighs are drenched in your essence.

He slurps your neglected breast into his mouth, ensuring your nipples are equally abused.  His tongue is skilled but his mouth is messy, saliva dripping all around your tit and it’s the hottest fucking sight you’ve ever seen.

He’s pulling away again and pinching both nipples with his hands simultaneously. “And you’re so fucking annoying.”

You’re pleading for more or to stop, you’re not sure.  He continues.

“Mm, I’m gonna fuck you until you’re a good little bitch for me. Listening to every fucking thing I say.”

He releases your nipples, and you finally find the ability to focus again, staring directly at him.

“Oh, you think you’re that good?” you sass as you attempt to catch your breath.  “Put your money where your mouth is.”

Tae grips your chin roughly, face inches away from yours with a sadistic grin. “You’re going to regret those words, baby.”

Instantly, he’s standing up and tugging his shorts down to let his cock spring free.  Your brain misfires as you visually measure his cock and your mouth goes dry. He’s thick and long. The bulbous head is dripping pre-cum, begging you to slurp it up.

“How about I put my money where your mouth is,” he suggests as he grabs a fistful of your hair.  

He teasingly rubs his cock on your lips and cheeks, makes you whimper with need. Your tongue is sticking out, desperate for him to lay it on you.

“Already so fucking greedy,” he grunts and in one motion, directs his dick into your open mouth. “I’ll fuck your throat, yeah? Greedy bitches love getting face fucked.”  He is still for a beat more, eyes searching yours for consent and you nod with his cock still in your mouth. He winks, then begins a rapid pace, his cock fucking into your mouth and throat.

You’re sure you look like a goddamn mess with saliva dripping from your mouth as Taehyung punishes your throat with his thrusts.  You gag and moan around him, and he tightens his grip in your hair as you see stars.

It’s indescribable. Never have you felt such pleasure from sucking cock, but Tae commands your entire body, willing you to drip with anticipation.

“My little fuck toy, god you feel so fucking good,” he hisses. “You’re gonna swallow my cum, baby.”  

His hips are stuttering, he’s close, and you’re sucking him harder, cheeks pulling in harder to vacuum him in. The pressure makes him groan out loud.

“So good, so fucking good. Get ready for your prize, baby,” his voice cuts off in a gasp, as his cock twitches violently. His legs shake and he doesn’t hold back the moans of his orgasm, gasping as he feels rope after rope spill down your hot throat.

Your big doll eyes are twinkling up at him, lips still wrapped around his cock. Taehyung is sure it’s the hottest thing he’ll ever see in his lifetime.  You on your knees, subservient to him and thriving for it.

“Mmm, I like it when your mouth is full like this,” he slowly pulls out of your mouth, albeit reluctantly. “Can’t talk back to me when you’re sucking my cock like a whore.”

You smile and stick out your tongue, pleased to show him you happily accepted his cum.

“Good fucking girl,” he coos as he grips your chin again. “Did you like my cum?”

You nod, brain fried from the heat of the room.

“Use your words,” he grits and grips your jaw harder. It’s enough to shock you into compliance.

“Y-yes! Fuck, I love your cum, Tae.”  Your words are breathy and raspy, throat raw from his barrage.

“I knew you would, filthy slut.  Sit on the couch.” He orders and you’re quick to scurry and sit on the makeshift bed you made.

His hands are tugging down your shorts quickly. No teasing or seduction here, not now. You lift your hips, and he throws them aside. Your legs close on reflex, making him growl.

“Do not hide yourself from me.” His tone is dark and you can’t help but shiver as you open yourself up to him. You want to talk back, want to fight and bite at him, but you’re quickly losing the ability to even speak, and you’re aching for him.

“Where’s my mouthy little bitch? You’re awfully quiet. Did I finally break you?” He teases, pressing your legs upward, knees to your ears. It’s pornographic how on display you are for him, soaking wet cunt front and center.

“The great Taehyung thinks he can break me with his cock,” you mewl, mustering all the false confidence you can. You’re lying through your fucking teeth and you both know it, but you continue. “You’ll have to do more than that.”

Your pussy is quaking with need now, desperate for a single touch. His hands maintain purchase on the backs of your thighs, holding them up.

“There she is,” he bites at the flesh of your leg closest to him which makes you jerk in his hold. “Gonna fuck the brat right out of you.”

He removes a hand from your thigh and you’re quick to pick up the slack, holding the thigh in place to maintain his open show of your pussy.

“Try me,” you murmur, and you’re instantly regretting your words as a harsh slap descends and lands square on your cunt.

You nearly scream, pain flooding your wanton pussy, before turning into delicious pleasure that stings and tingles right at your clit. It sizzles, and warmth blooms where his hand was.

“That’s for not believing me.”  His eyes are feral and you want to bottle this memory forever.  

Another slap has your legs trembling, eyes rolling back as the burn turns to a low heat.  You’re dripping your wetness down onto the couch and Jin will kill you, but you don’t care.

“That was for calling me a dick,” he smirks.

Smack.

Tears spring in your eyes as the slap brings more pleasure than pain, desperately close to your edge.

“Look at you, you could cum just from this, couldn’t you?”

“F-fuck! Yes, please, I need more, please!” Your cunt is clenching around nothing, desperate for friction and leaking out of you like a faucet. Taehyung marvels at you, legs spread so far, with a cunt weeping with arousal for more. He can’t wait to dive in there, but he’s not finished with you yet.

“More? I don’t know if you deserve more, baby, you’ve been awfully mean to me,” he tsks, breathing hot air on your clit, making you whine.

“P-please! I’m sorry!” You’re sure you will black out with how desperately you need him. You need him more than you need oxygen.

“Beg.”

You’re quick to submit. Thoughts of fighting back are long gone, you’re his wanton little slut now.

“Please, please! Pleaseeeee, make me cum! I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” He asks with an arch of his eyebrow.

You’re nodding wildly, gazing at him with desperate, watery eyes.

“Anything, I need you so f-fucking bad it hurts!”

By the time the words leave your lips, he’s thrusting two fingers into your cunt viciously, fingering you ferociously. He arches them, rubbing against your spongy g-spot and making you scream. He knows you’re close, knows you only need one little push off the edge. He plays your body like a skilled practitioner.

“Cum on my fingers, baby. Let me see my greedy little bitch milk my fingers.”

Your body and mind react accordingly, deep down you know your body is owned completely by him, all his.  Your orgasm explodes and you think you actually scream, your vision is black and your hearing goes silent for a moment as you cum harder than you have in your life.  You’re squeezing his fingers with your pussy so tight and Taehyung is gently licking all the juices from his hand with his fingers still inside you.

It takes time to descend from the separate plane of existence Taehyung sent you too, but you come back and watch as he laps at the liquid of your cunt and on his hand like it’s a vital necessity. His fingers remain in your walls, and he refuses to break eye contact with you. You’re positive you could cum again from the sight.

“My little cockslut tastes so good, just how I like,” he tells you tenderly. “Like cherries, so sweet.  My little cherry.”

Your cunt is aching and warming back to life as he pulls his fingers out of you. The loss is immense and you’re whimpering for more.

“Ah, ah,” he hushes you. “No whining. You’ll take what I give you.  Suck my fingers clean. Taste yourself.”

He presses his fingers into your mouth, earning him a sigh, the taste of you filling your mouth. You swirl your tongue around his fingers and suckle each one to ensure your tongue laves the entire surface.

“Fuck,” he whispers and it’s his first crack in his steel reserve. “Needy.”

He pulls his fingers from your mouth and presses against you to kiss. It’s gentle, sweet, and nothing compared to the man assailing your pussy with slaps moments ago. It thrills you just the same and you return in kind, threading your hands in his wavy hair.

He pulls away and presses his forehead against yours, a moment of gentleness you actively welcome.

“This little cunt ready for me?” He whispers and you’re whimpering your reply.

“Please, fuck me. I need you to fuck me until I can’t walk.”

He grins and presses a kiss to your lips again, sweet and chaste, before he pulls away and slides down to attach those same sinful lips to your pussy.

It’s so unexpected you flinch and manage a cry as his tongue slurps up more of your delicious essence and his mouth moves to suckle on your clit. You’re not sure where the fuck he learned these tricks, but you know now you will never let him go.

“Taehyung!” You cry at the sensation. “Fuck!”

After receiving the reaction he was desperate for, he slips his tongue into your walls deep and gathers as much of you as he can, before he’s pulling back and swallowing you down.

“I couldn’t resist. Your cunt was made for me to devour.”

He doesn’t allow for a response as he throws your legs over his shoulders and lines himself up at your core.

“Condom?” He asks you, and you level a quick look at him.

“I don’t live here! I don’t have any!”  You’re savage, terrified he’ll pull his cock away when all you want and can think about is the way he’ll feel pounding into you.

“Don’t be rude, baby,” he reminds you with a swat to your ass. “I’m clean, promise. You?”

You nod quickly, reveling in the spank’s tingle. “Same. I have an IUD too,” you sigh. Thank god for medical birth control implants.

“Good. You’re the only pussy I’m gonna fuck from now on,” he promises. You know you must talk about this later, when you’re thinking rationally and not with your aching pussy.  

Your heart stutters and leaps into your throat but all is forgotten as he plunges into your tight heat.

“Ohhhhh shit, ahhh,” he gasps. “Baby, you’re so fucking tight and wet.”  He’s on the verge of whining, becoming just as needy and greedy as you.  He wastes no time in setting a pace.

His cock fills you completely, his angle allowing him to go as deep as he can, pressing the beginning of your cervix.  This is surely what heaven feels like.  It feels like the completeness you feel with Taehyung fully sheathed inside you.

It comes alive with flames and explosions as he fucks you, hips pistoning to plunge in and out of you with tenacity.  He fucks you like he laces every single thrust with more, more than just sex. He fucks you with purpose.

You’re moaning like a pornstar now, high pitch wails and gasps and breathy moans are all you can manage. “Taehyung, yes! Feel so g-g-good!”

“That’s right baby, scream my fucking name. Make sure all the neighbors know who fucking ruined you,” he nearly spits, cock thrusting into your core at an impossible speed. “I want you to tell all of Korea who owns you. Who owns this tiny little cunt?”

The wind leaves you, and you’re gasping for air, gaping mouth open as you try to reply. It takes him fucking into you harder a few times before you feel it rush back into you.

“You, Taehyung!  You!  Fuck, I love your cock!”

His thumb rubs at your engorged clit, allowing it the friction it seeks.  He bends forward and wraps his other hand around your throat, squeezing.  

Losing air combined with the friction on your clit has you keening, so close to the edge. You try to babble his name but nothing comes out.

“Look at my pretty little slut taking my cock so well,” he praises.  “You have the greediest pussy, don’t you? You need my cock daily, baby. Need to put my mouthy bitch in her place, remind her who’s in charge.”

He slows his pace but his thrusts are punishing, fucking into you as hard as he can. Your orgasm is climbing so impossibly high.

“F-fuck!” You gasp as he releases his grip on your neck. “Gonna cum! Please let me cum!”  

“Yeah baby, cum for me.  Cream your greedy pussy all over my cock.”

The world stops spinning as you hit the height of your climax and plunge down.  Your vision goes black and your body is quivering and convulsing nearly as hard as your cunt is. Taehyung hisses at your walls sucking him in, as if you’re begging for his cum, begging for more.

“Fuck, good girl, baby, holy shit,” he’s breathless and so close.

You’re overstimulated, boneless, but he wrought two of the best orgasms you’ve ever felt in your life and you’ll be damned if you leave him high and dry.  You bite your lip as you move with him, hips pounding against each other. His face is scrunched up and you know he’s close when he’s stuttering on his words.  You take over for him.

“Please cum in me baby, please.  Fill me up. I’m yours, baby, mark my little cunt as yours.”  You don’t know where it’s coming from, but you keep it going. It feels as natural as fucking him does. “Please, Taehyung!”

At the sound of his name leaving you in a whine, he spirals down his own completion. He feels his cock pulse as he empties his load into you, your walls still reverently beckoning for him. He’s calling out your name, grasping at your tits as he finishes and you’re smiling from ear to ear. Your pussy is warm with his seed and you’re positive it’s the way you want to feel every single night.

“Holy fuck,” Taehyung rasps as he pulls his cock out of you. He thrills as he watches his cum follow, slipping out your folds and down your thigh. “I definitely marked you.”

You hum in reply, finally allowing yourself to soak in the haze of orgasmic bliss. Tae presses his head to yours again, kissing you sweetly.

“Come sleep in my bed?” He asks. He means more behind it. He wants to ask you to sleep in his bed every night, stay with him every day, be the one he grows old with. He knows there’s still more to talk about, wounds of the past to heal, but now you’re with him, and he knows he’ll work through anything.

You nod, and kiss him again, understanding his hidden meaning laced in his words.

A sly smile spreads across his face. “Last one to bed has to take the blame for the wineglass,” he teases. Your head spins as if you’ve got whiplash.  He can switch from dominating to sensitive to the little shit he is so quick.

“Hey! No fucking fair! You fucked my ability to run out of me!”

“Shouldn’t have been such a sassy bitch,” he winks before he tears away towards his room.

“Taehyung, you’re an asshole!” You call as you limp your way behind him.

From behind Joon and Jin’s door, a critical voice bellows, “YAH! I’ll kill you if you got your jizz on my couch! And what is this I heard about my glass!!? HEY!  Those are TIFFANY. CRYSTAL. THE DISRESPECT!”

You slip into Taehyung’s bed and wrap yourself around him, the two of you gasping with mischievous giggles.

Kim Taehyung will always be the one who knows how to drive you wild. He’ll always aggravate and infuriate you, send you reeling.

But now you didn’t think you minded it at all.

© ppersonna - 2020 - do not repost on any site, or translate without express permission from author.

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Definitive Ranking of Every ML Episode as of 4/22/21

Are you guys ready for this? I did the thing. You’re all welcome. Don’t ever ask me for anything again. You can watch me get progressively more unhinged in real time. 

Now, just to preface this, I did not give this too much thought. Most of these are just my gut feelings. I went through every episode and just made some snap judgments based off the lasting impressions I’ve been left with. These are my opinions. If you don’t like them, tough. And also I don’t care. Go spend 4 hours making your own damn ranking. And shut the hell up. Anyway, this is probably the longest post I’ve ever made, so I’m gonna put it all under a read more. Click on it if you have an hour to read it. Okay, here we go!

1.     Origins II- Good starting point for our heroes. Good establishment of canon ships and character dynamics. Umbrella scene literally stole my wallet. Cannot emphasis enough that I am whipped for the umbrella scene. I wrote a whole ass AU just to say how whipped I am for the umbrella scene. In the Rain will play at my wedding. Jk. Weddings are for suckers. But dammit if I don’t want these kids to get married. 10/10

2.     Origins I- Good introduction to lore. Good introduction to characters. Good establishment of status quoyo. Just good. 10/10

3.     Simon Says- Listen, I am nothing if not a shipper at heart. This episode just sparks joy. And the whole series almost ended when Gabriel almost jumped off the roof. I was really rooting for this one. This was the episode where I saw Ladrien and went yes, ma’am, I’ll have one of those. 10/10

4.     Evillustrator- Are you all surprised? Cat, the MC-skeptic ranked the pivotal MC episode so highly? Well, let me tell you all a thing, I started this fandom out a MC shipper because of this episode. Their first interaction is gold. I don’t deny that. I enjoy it. This is the MC dynamic I fell in love with. Yall toxic shippers ruined MC for me when you opened your mouths and spat in the face of Ladrien and baselessly declared MC the sin-ship. We all know it’s Ladrien. Stop kidding yourselves. Boy in leather catsuit? Please. Basic ass vanilla bitches. I’m getting off-topic. Solid episode 10/10. We love to see it.

5.     Stormy Weather- Baby’s first Miraculous episode. It holds a special place in my heart. It’s a solid episode. Good establishment of what the show is. Fun villain. Good times. Fond memories. 10/10

6.     Riposte- Listen, I know I’m an Adrinette stan, but hear me out: Ladrien. It’s just so good. And Kagami was compelling in this episode. It was just really solid. It’s my favorite s2 episode. If you ask me if I want to rewatch Riposte, the answer is always yes. 10/10. We stan.

7.     Gorizilla- Okay, so this episode has some solid Adrinette in it, but the real reason it ranks so high is that fucking Ladrien trust fall. I stare at that scene for hours, you guys. HOURS. It is absolutely just *chefs kiss*. Sometimes when I need a pick-me-up, I just go watch gifs of that catch on loop. 10/10. Beautiful. Radiant. Carefree.

8.     Gang of Secrets- I have been keeping most of my opinions to myself about s4 (mostly because I’ve backed way the hell out of this fandom), but GoS was pretty solid. Gotta say, it’s the first episode in a long time with this show that made me actually excited to see what happens next. Most other episodes I was like, okay, that was cute. The show is still meh overall. But GoS really got me like oh shit, is ML good again? 10/10 for making me feel things again.

9.     Oblivio- Told you guys this one was probably rated higher than I thought. Oblivio is just really fun. There is good Adrinette. That “No wonder I fell in love with you” paired with the softest of Adrien smiles just sends me. And the kisses. The unquestionable trust. These two kids literally woke up together alone in an elevator with no memories and said welp, you’re my boyfriend/girlfriend obviously, I don’t make the rules. Honestly, how anyone could argue that these two dorks aren’t made for each other after that episode is beyond me. 9/10

10.  Backwarder- Okay, I know I am weird and alone for this one, but I really liked this episode. It got a lot of shit for the constipation capsule thing at the end, but like who cares? We finally got some more backstory on Fu. He got a love-interest who is dope as hell. This episode is my favorite lucky charm use ever. Like that queen DID that. I like Backwarder, guys! Fuck off. 9/10.

11.  Kwamibuster- We all know I am a Marinette-stan by this point, but our girl was SHINING this episode. This bitch said gimme all them and let me go whoop this bitch’s ass, and she DID. Hawkmoth could never. Multimouse is a gift, and Marinette is a boss ass queen.  9/10

12.  Chat Blanc- Listen, this episode was very good. I enjoy the idea of my children being happy in another timeline somewhere very much. We got all 4 sides of the square in an episode. It’s just really solid. I know this is the fandom’s favorite, and everyone is gonna shit their pants because it didn’t make my top 10, but this is my list. So, I put it at number 12. It’s good. I like it. It just didn’t steal my wallet like other episodes did. Put the pitchforks down. It’s gonna be okay, you can still love it more than me. 8/10

13.  New York Special- I know everyone felt some type of way about this special, but I wasn’t mad at it. My perception of it might be clouded because I watched it in Disney World where I was chilling and having a great time, but like this special really did somethings for me. The Adrinette was top tier. Tippy top tier. Even though they hurt us in the end, I am okay with it because it just means the children will grow and come out stronger. I don’t care if it’s not technically canon. Ask me if I give a fuck. I don’t. I had fun here. 8/10. Solid.

14.  The Collector- This one might shock a lot of you, but let me paint you a scene. It’s the first episode of s2. We have just come off a 2 year hiatus. The fandom is thriving. We’re hungry for canon content. We have hopes and dreams and expectations. Everyone is going wild with theories. This episode confirmed something that was long since obvious (in my opinion) and ended the stupid arguments people had been having. It made Gabriel actually seem semi-competent. We got our first taste of how Chat/Adrien will react to his dad being Hawkmoth. We got a peek at their life. Adrien’s isolation and sadness. They were so close to figuring it out. The battle was epic. Like Collector really had them on the ropes there for a second. It’s a solid episode, yall. I’m not wrong. Hate me all you want, but this episode brought it. 8/10

15.  Despair Bear- Is this episode up this high because of the Adrinette slow dance scene? YOU BET YOUR ASS IT IS. Okay, but fr though, shipping aside, this episode gave us hope that Chloe was actually gonna redeem herself. I mean, she didn’t but, we didn’t know that at the time. Seeing her run around trying to be nice was fun. And then she actually did something good, and we had a moment of okay, she’s capable. We’ll get there. We didn’t. But what a ride this episode was for making us think she would. 8/10

16.  Startrain- Cat, you’re just ranking all the Adrinette episodes highest. And? What of it? Are you surprised? You clicked a blog that has simping for Adrinette in the description, and you’re surprised all my favorite episodes have Adrinette? I’m not wrong, you’re just an idiot. The Adrinette nap cuddles aside though, this was a pretty good episode. If you don’t think too hard about the whole space thing, we got a look at Max’s life, his mom is a driven, smart lady doing her best. Adrien rebels against papa for once. Alya stops a Lila scheme. Chloe gets to play the hero. Alya and Nino actually investigate like the heroes they are. Gabriel gets to realize what a dumbass bitch he is. I mean. Guys. Startrain is solid. 7.5/10

17.  Sapotis- This one shot up in rank for me after GoS, but tbh it’s always been a solid episode. Alyanette sleepover? Check. Alya becoming a superhero? Check. It’s a fun episode. And looking back, it’s nicely called back to later in GoS. We love it. 7.5/10

18.  Sandboy- Idk why I enjoy this episode as much as I do, but I do. Sandboy is a cute bean. I love his aesthetic. We also get hilarious looks at everyone’s nightmares. “Plagg, who turned you into a sock?” cracks me up cause like Adrien, bby, no XD And Chat Noir’s nightmare. I think it would have been interesting though if since Sandboy dusted the Agreste mansion, if we got a peek at Hawkmoth’s nightmares. It would have been a nice hint of plot to go along with Master Fu’s nightmare. Also Plagg giving the akuma the slip like the clever boy we know he is deep down? 7.5/10

19.  Furious Fu- If you guys haven’t realized by now that I love Fu, idk what you’re doing. Pay attention. I know that some people don’t like him, but I’m just gonna say it, you’re wrong. Fu took care of the Miracle Box for over 100 years, and this episode kind of gives some insight to what the Order was like. Very strict. Lots of rules. And ya know what, Fu said fuck the police, I’m gonna befriend these little magical demigods, and fuck off! Like what an absolute legend. I was really happy to see him living his best life, and that he and Marianne got married because it’s what he deserves. We love to see it. 7.5/10

20.  Gamer- People like to shit on Marinette in this episode, but like honestly, if I were in her shoes, I’d have probably done the same thing if I had the skill. Ain’t nothing wrong with a girl trying to spend time with the boy she likes. And Tom and Sabine being absolute shipping trash. I love them. And the awkward Adrinette. The introduction of the lucky charm that Adrien STILL carries. Wholesome. This was a good episode for their friendship, and we love to see it. 7.5/10

21.  Christmaster- Okay, I know a lot of people hated this episode when it aired, but I thought it was really funny? Everyone skidding around in the ice rink was hilarious. If you don’t take this episode seriously, it’s really fun. Chris is pretty cute, and damn right Ladybug is the best kid in the world. Idk. This episode is fun. I’m not mad at it. Sue me. 7.5/10

22.  Weredad- What? Another MC-heavy episode in Cat’s top 30? Listen, I don’t hate canon MC. The fans just annoy me. This episode was funny. The secondhand embarrassment and cringe was real. Plagg taunting Adrien because he knows the secret was great. Marinette being a self-saving queen was great. It’s a good episode. I like MC, you guys. I do. I swear! 7.5/10

23.  Miraculer- This episode was interesting to me, and I think it’s still a good development episode. For one, Sabrina finally got her own akuma episode named after her. Secondly, because it’s a big step for Chloe, just not in the way we expected. It totally makes sense that Chloe can’t have her Miraculous back because literally everyone knows her identity. Can’t argue that logic. And she is the first person to ever refuse to become akumatized, so like mad respect. I know a lot of people had high hopes for redeemed Chloe (myself included), but I think watching a character fall from revering someone to hating them is also an interesting path. The friends to enemies arc as it were. Idk. I liked this episode. It was an opportunity for Chloe to grow, even if she didn’t in the end, but we’ll talk about that later. 7.5/10

24.  Lady Wifi- I like Alya. I feel like I don’t say that much, and people make some assumptions because of MDCSP, but MDCSP is just a concept I wanted to explore. It doesn’t really reflect how I feel about any one character. Except maybe Lila. And Gabe. But every other spite fic I’ve written branching from Chameleon, the class has been fine. Alya has been fine. So, let it be known that I like Alya. Lady Wifi was a fun episode. Putting aside the fact that she thought Chloe was Ladybug for no reason, I like her akuma. I like the interactions we get with LadyNoir in this episode. After GoS, this episode gets a bit funnier. It’s solid. 7/10

25.  Dark Cupid- I don’t have much to say about this one. LadyNoir. That’s it. That’s the tweet. Send it. 7/10

26.  Volpina- So many things about this episode. It introduced a new antagonist who we didn’t exactly 100% know was going to be an antagonist at the time. This episode sparked a lot of fun fan theories for a while. Who was Lila? How was she going to shake things up? Not to mention this episode gave us a taste of plot and lore, and set up Marinette meeting Master Fu officially. Lots of intrigue sparked from this episode. And that LadyNoir door scene? OOOOOO 7/10

27.  Hearthunter- One word: Adrigaminette. This episode was so cute for them! I loved seeing them all goofing and running around together. Adrien and Kagami being absolutely in love with Marinette when her hair is down. They both love her, I don’t make the rules. Not to mention, Marinette takes a big step by letting her friends be happy without her. Kagami not wanting to hurt Marinette. The drama!! Gabriel being a messy ass bitch to his friends. It loses points for the abomination of an akuma, but overall, I wasn’t too mad at it. Yet. 7/10

28.  Glaciator- More MC in Cat’s top 30? It’s more likely than you think. Listen. Listen… Listen. MC is fine. This episode was the closest thing to fanfiction that we got. The balcony scene was really sweet. I was drinking the irony. We got introduced to Andre the icecream fraud. Andre the please just give me the flavor I asked for man. I could have done without Chat pouting, but the LadyNoir in the end was pretty good. I wish they’d done more with Ladybug’s feelings for Chat. Had her question herself a bit more after this one, but overall, it’s cute. 7/10

29.  Zombizou- A lot of people started hating Mlle. Bustier after this episode, and like I can kind of see it, if I squint, but I did not draw that same conclusion from this episode. Mlle. Bustier just wants good things for all of her students. They’re 14 ffs, she just wants to be a good influence on all of her students and wants them all to be successful. But go off, I guess? Plus, this episode was basically just a spoof on zombie apocalypse movies. We got so many things. Julerose, Myvan, DJWifi. Chloe actually showing some depth and emotion. LadyNoir. We won this episode, babes. Sorry you didn’t get the memo. 7/10

30.  Timetagger- Okay. This is the last episode in the ones that I’d venture to call “good.” Number 30. I enjoyed Timetagger. I know people have feelings about timey-wimey bullshit, and like I’m not gonna lie and say I’m thrilled with it either (I mean, I changed the rabbit’s power in MDCSP) but that being said, Timetagger was so sassy. Bunnix was cool as hell. We get to see that LB and CN are still doing the thing in the future. So many questions sparked from this episode. It was fun. Idk. I liked it. That’s all I got. 7/10

31.  Malediktator- Okay, from this point on, less comments because this is the section that are more or less just meh to me. Like they’re fine. This episode was fine. Chloe was fine. Chat playing with the laser was cute. 6.5/10

32.  Mayura- Adrien’s speech at the end. Nuff said 6.5/10

33.  Ikari Gozen- Ryuko/Ryuuko. Gals being pals. 6.5/10

34.  Reflekdoll- I talked about this earlier, but I don’t hate this episode. It’s not as bad as people make it out to be. Sue me. 6.5/10

35.  Anansi- Nino is the goodest boy. Also I need more of the gang taking Adrien on adventures via Facetime. Stat. 6.5/10

36.  Shanghai- This one is new, and tbh I still haven’t watched it with subs, but I had a good time. Fei was cute. The boy squad was cute. Adrien bonding with Great Uncle Cheng was cute. Hawkmoth getting literally dunked on was *chefs kiss* 6.5/10

37.  Gigantitan- I love overly supportive, ride-or-die girl squad. 6.5/10

38.  Party Crasher- Idk why this episode was funny to me. Kim is the purest bean. We don’t deserve him. 6.5/10

39.  Desperada- This episode was an emotional roller coaster, and even though we all collectively hate Aspik’s stupid egghead, we love the Ladrien this episode provided us. 6/10

40.  Oni-chan- Listen, I loved seeing Lila get a tiny bit of karma even if she made it up in the end. I loved Chat going off on her. I loved seeing her get outsmarted in the end. 6/10

41.  Frightningale- My good lesbian Clara Nightingale. We stan. 6/10

42.  Style Queen- I like Audrey in a “she’s the worst person I’ve ever met, I want to travel the world with her” kind of way. She’s funny to me. Idk. I love her firing everyone. She’s the one I love to hate. She’s the worst, but we love her for it. Plus this episode gave us Plagg’s adorable little Cataclysm that destroyed half the city. 6/10

43.  Gamer 2.0- Chat confidently strutting in heels made this episode worth it. And we get to see the beginning of Marinette being overwhelmed. Plus it was the return of gamer!nette. 6/10

44.  Troublemaker- I don’t hate this episode as much as the next person either. It was fine. Jagged is a manchild, but we love him for it. He’s a Marinette stan which like mood. The Adrinette at the end was cute. I wasn’t mad at it. Idk. It’s fine. 6/10

45.  Reflekta- Where are all my Juleka stans at? I loved the LadyNoir banter in this ep. V. cute. 6/10

46.  Dark Owl- This episode was fun. And it really shows their level of trust. Plus Plagg and Tikki interacted. 6/10

47.  Timebreaker- Have I ever mentioned that I like Alix? I like Alix. 6/10

48.  Silencer- I don’t hate this episode as much as you’d expect me to, and that is 100% because of the LadyNoir. 5.5/10

49.  Prime Queen- Chat purrs. 5.5/10

50.  Syren- I think the fish power-up is adorable. Ondine is a gem. Kim is a pure bean, but we been knew. 5.5/10

51.  Befana- I like Gina, but this episode fell flat for me. Almost as flat as the animation. 5.5/10

52.  Reverser- Another episode that everyone hates that I am actually fine with. This episode made me like Nathaniel more. Probably because I was previously indifferent toward him. Marc is cute too. 5.5/10

53.  Mr. Pigeon- Marinette is one clever girl. And the Adrinette hand-touch. 5.5/10

54.  Felix- Felix is a gremlin of chaos. A true chaotic neutral. He gives his uncle the finger, and I think that’s beautiful. 5.5/10

55.  Truth- Bet you expected this episode to be higher. While I did enjoy watching toxic people’s world crumble, this episode still gets a meh from me dog. 5/10

56.  Lies- The Adrigami was cute, and I respect Kagami as a character. The akuma could have been better tho. 5/10

57.  Princess Fragrance- Not much to say here. 5/10

58.  Copycat- 5/10

59.  Bubbler- 5/10

60.  Mime- 5/10

61.  Animan- 5/10

62.  Robostus- 5/10

63.  Ladybug- This episode ranks this low purely because I don’t care about GabeNath, and I hate that Lila won something in the end. But Adrien saying I won’t hesitate, bitch! At the end was nice to see. 5/10

64.  Catalyst- I know I ranked Mayura way higher, but Catalyst fell flat for me. Like it was fine. Wasn’t as into it though. 4.5/10

65.  Puppeteer- One of my favorite lucky charm uses. 4.5/10

66.  Pixelator- My favorite Cataclysm. 4.5/10

67.  Horrificator- That almost-Adrinette kiss tho 4.5/10

68.  Pharaoh- 4.5/10

69.  Kung Food- 4.5/10

70.  Rogercop- 4/10

71.  Guitar Villain- 4/10

72.  Dark Blade- 4/10

73.  Bakerix- 4/10

74.  Antibug- And now onto the bottom 10. To start us off, I will just say: UGH, this episode annoyed me. First of all, Sabrina didn’t even get her own episode. Chloe was a piece of shit. Idk why they made Ladybug the one in the wrong when Chloe was being obnoxious. Ugh. 3/10

75.  Captain Hardrock- I’m gonna be honest. My apathy for this episode has grown into loathing. Toxic stans are 100% to blame. Birthday ruining, bitches. This is the reason I threw a breakup bash after Truth. Yall deserved it. 3/10

76.  Christmas Special- I didn’t hate this episode as much as everyone, but it still wasn’t great. 2.5/10

77.  Stormy Weather 2.0- This episode was really dumb. It didn’t need to exist. 2.0/10

78.  Queen Wasp- Why did we give Chloe a Miraculous after this episode? 2/10

79.  Animaestro- Did we really need a self-insert? Did we really? 2/10

80.  Puppeteer 2.0- Listen, this episode would have made more sense in s1 or at the very latest early s2. Adrien gave a whole ass speech on how great Marinette is, then he turns around and is like idk if she likes me… Clean it up. 2/10

81.  Miracle Queen- I could talk at length about how much I hate the ending of this episode and what they did with Chloe and Master Fu, but we’re just going to remain calm and give it a solid 1.5/10

82.  Frozer- This episode made no goddamn sense. I call bullshit on so many things. Just ugh. 1/10

83.  Chameleon- Surprisingly, even though this episode sparked many, many spite fics out of me, it’s not my least favorite because at least Ladybug semi-redeemed this episode. Still really dumb and ooc tho. 1/10

84.  Feast- Okay, okay, okay, here we are. Bottom of the barrel. Cat’s most hated episode, and you wanna know why? You want to know why this episode fills me with the rage? Because we spent two fucking seasons building up all this mystery and lore and intrigue surrounding Fu’s big mistake, and they dropped the fucking ball! They did my mans so dirty! They could have really deepened his character, deepened the Order, deepened anything other than whatever fucking affair Gabriel and Nathalie have going on, but NO. They made it some stupid, bland-ass thing that got resolved magically in the end, then just ignored it for the rest of the season. I will never not be salty about how they did my boy Fu in this show. I’m happy he found his peace, but fuck if I’m not livid about how they did it. Whatever. Chat being done with Ladybug’s shit when they’re about to get eaten was funny I guess. .5/10

[lucisfavoritedemon]

Crossed Oceans of Time

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Summary: Y/n always thought her hope was lost till an unexpected call from an old friend has her traveling across time to save the man she thought was once lost in an ocean of time.

Warnings: angst, fluffy fluff, cursing, hopelessness (idk why I make the reader so depressed)

Word Count: 4122

A/N: This is written for @sweeterthanthis Quote Me On It 6k Challenge. The prompt I chose was “I have crossed oceans of time to find you.” -Dracula. This story takes place during the events of End Game. I have incorporated the quote into the story. It will be bolded AND italicized. All mistakes are mine. 

Enjoy!

Everything I had seen had been a blur up to this point. My life flashed by so quick I never had a chance to process it all. Originally born in 1922, I never believed I would be able to see the day when technology would thrive. Here I am in 2023, 101 years later seeing the miracle of technology. 

I am a super soldier. One of the first experiments before Steve Rogers, aka Captain America. I volunteered myself to Dr. Erskine's experimentation, so he could develop a better, more safe serum. 

I fought by Rogers' side in many battles, including the one that would take his best friend. There is something you do not know though, of me and Sergeant Barnes. 

I had fallen for him. Not just a usual school girl crush, no. It was full blown love. Like my body had been struck by lightning the moment I laid eyes on him. 

I could sit and talk for hours about Bucky, and how much he meant to me, but that would be pointless. Bucky was gone and yet I couldn't move on. Something was keeping my heart from finding love again. 

Steve and I fought one last time together to defeat Red Skull. We thought it was the end for us, that we would be with Bucky again, but fate is a cruel mother thing. Oddly enough, the serum in our veins stopped our bodies from dying. It preserved us and helped us stay alive. 

When I woke up, all I remembered was crashing the ship. I had no recollection of anything else after. That's when we found out we were in the year 2012. For 70 years we were on ice. Poor Steve was heartbroken about Peggy, and I couldn't help but wish I was with Bucky. 

Time flew by like it was nothing, and all I felt I did was stand still and watch it go by. Steve and I had parted ways after we got back. I was hired to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. which I didn’t mind till in 2014 it all came crashing down. Almost quite literally. S.H.I.E.L.D. had HYDRA growing right under its nose. I was again left alone with nothing but a shattered heart.

Nick Fury tried to help me get back onto my feet but I wanted nothing to do with him, or anyone anymore. I was too heartbroken to even think about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I really just wanted my Bucky back. That’s all I could ever ask of the world. 

Five years ago, something happened. I felt like my life had fallen apart again. All the friends I had attempted to make, all disappeared. I wasn’t the only one who lost people they loved and cared for. I finally felt maybe other people out there were feeling the same way I did.

Here in 2023, I have been without the love of my life for almost 80 years. I kept asking why I got to live while he was taken from the world so soon. I never got the answer to that rhetorical question, asked to no one in particular. That was till I got a peculiar call from an unknown number. I answered it hoping it would be the reaper I hoped to be greeted by to take me to the love of my life.

“Y/n?” It was a voice I hadn’t heard in almost a decade. One I thought I’d probably never hear again either.

“Steve.” I sounded cheery for once since I had been out of the ice.

“Hey. How are you doing? I know it’s been years since we talked, but I wanted to see if you wanted to go for a drive? Just you and me.” He asked, and I could tell he was smiling some on the other end.

“That sounds lovely, Steve. I’ve been hanging in there. Since S.H.I.E.L.D. and the whole HYDRA thing, I’ve just been laying low.”

“Where are you living now?” Steve queried.

“I’m living in Brooklyn actually. In my old neighborhood. 

“You used to live in Brooklyn before the war?”

“Yep. I actually lived above the antique shop. You know the one.”

“Yeah. I didn’t know we lived so close, yet we never met you till Erskine introduced us.”

“Yeah. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel the way I do now…” I sounded melancholy.

“I’m not too far from where you are. Meet where the antique shop used to be. We can talk more then, I have something I think you would love to hear.”

“Okay. I’ll meet you there.” I said, and hung up quickly. I knew there was nothing he could have told me that would make me jump for joy. He couldn’t say anything that would make my smile come back. It was gone, and faded with time.

I met him where that antique shop used to be, and I could almost picture it all. The cobblestone streets, the kids playing baseball, the world used to be a different place back then. It’s not like it was anymore, and I wish that it kind of was. 

“Hey.” Steve smiled, walking up to me.

“Hi.” I gave a small smile, but he could tell I had sadness written all over my face.

“What’s wrong?” Concern spread across his face.

“Nothing. This is just how I smile now.”

“Whoever took away your beautiful, contagious smile is going to pay.”

“Time took my smile away.”

“”Come on. I want to talk to you about something.” His smile grew wider as he led me to his car. 

He opened the door for me, and I climbed in. I buckled up as he climbed into the driver’s seat. We headed out of the city, down the countryside. The scenery was beautiful, but I still couldn’t bring myself to start a conversation.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine. I have been for 11 years. What’s 40 more gonna do right?” I gave an extremely sad smile.

“Is this about Bucky?”

“There were so many times in my life where we could have met. Maybe just a year longer with him, and I would be able to move on, or maybe not. I was in love with him, Steve. The way I felt the night we first met, it was like everything in my life finally made sense. I felt like I had a purpose.”

“He’s actually the reason I wanted to talk to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“He was alive. I need your help getting him back.”

“What do you mean? That’s impossible. We both watched him die.”

“Remember when all those men were captured from the 107th, including Bucky, back in ‘43?”

“Yeah, and we went to rescue them.”

“Bucky was experimented on by Armin Zola. Turned into a super soldier himself.”

“Okay and?”

“Whatever Zola did to him, it helped him survive the fall.”

“So what I’m understanding is, you knew he was alive this entire time, and you’re just now telling me about it?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I need your help getting him back now.”

“Okay. You keep saying that, but if he is alive, why would we need to get him back?”

“Remember 5 years ago when half the earth’s population just vanished?”

“Yeah?”

“Bucky was part of that half.”

“And you think we can get him back?”

“I think we can bring back all the life lost 5 years ago. It requires us going back in time though.”

“Time travel? You’re promising time travel in a time where we thought flying cars were going to be a thing.”

“It’s possible though. We’ve tested it, and everything is up and working. We have all the dates in order, we just need the man power.”

“Alright, if it means bringing Bucky back, I’ll do it.”

“Thank you.”

Steve drove us to a huge building practically in the middle of nowhere. There I was greeted by a group of people, one of which I recognized from a brief meeting years ago. The others I didn’t know. I mean one man looked oddly familiar, but I could quite put my finger on where I had seen him before.

“Everyone, this is Y/n. She is an old friend of mine.” Steve introduced me.

“I may be old, but I sure don’t feel like it.”

“Join the club.” Steve chuckled.

“I’m Natasha. We met briefly in D.C. a few years back.” The woman I had recognized approached.

“Yes, I remember you. It’s nice to officially meet you on slightly good terms. While not being utterly terrified by a man with a metal arm.” I smiled slightly, trying to imagine how it would feel to see Bucky once more.

“So how do you two know each other?” The man that I swore looked familiar, spoke up.

“Steve and I fought together during the war.”

“Does that mean she also knew Barnes?” The man questioned.

“Yes. She did. In fact they were together for two years before HYDRA took him.”

“How does he know about Bucky?” I asked, growing concerned.

“It’s a long story.”

“I’m Tony Stark by the way.” The man spoke up, and everything was now coming together.

“I knew you looked familiar to me somehow. You look just like your father.”

“Yeah, well, join the club with everyone who says that.” Tony sounded irritated.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Y/n, it’s alright.” Steve spoke up before Tony could say anything.

He could probably tell I was freaking out. My goal was to help, not make things worse. I could tell by just opening my mouth, I was doing just that. Steve started to rub my back to calm me down.

“Is everything okay?” Natasha asked.

“She’s been through a lot. She didn’t even know Bucky was alive until a couple hours ago.” Steve replied.

“For so long I wished that something would happen so I could be back in his arms again. Now, I have a chance to see him again, and not in the afterlife. He is the man of my dreams, the love of my life. I have never felt this way about anyone before, and the fact that I have tried to move on, but couldn't just shows that I truly did love him.”

“Does she know about him?” Tony asked.

“Not about that. She doesn’t need to know.” Steve stated sternly.

“Know about what? Steve? What aren’t you telling me?”

“Stark, I agree with Steve. If she knew about him, her opinion of him may change.” Natasha interjected.

“She deserves to know the man she loved then will not be the man she is getting back.”

“What are you all going on about?”

“Barnes was the man with the metal arm you spoke of.” Tony blurted out.

“You’re wrong. Bucky would never hurt anyone. He was someone who put others before himself. He would never kill anyone.”

Steve just gave an angry look to Tony. I didn’t know who to believe. Natasha just gave me an apologetic look. I couldn’t read anyone, they all seemed to look angry or apologetic, and I didn;t know who to believe.

“Maybe the Barnes you knew wouldn’t, but over 70+ years, people change.” Tony stated before walking inside.

“Steve? Was Bucky really the man with the metal arm? If he was, I want to know. It won’t change how I feel. I just need to know, so I can help him when he comes back.”

“Yes. He was what the world knew as the Winter Soldier. He isn;t like that anymore. I promise, but he is broken and traumatized from what HYDRA did to him.”

“Understandable. Now let’s go get him and everyone else back.” I smiled, and walked inside. I didn’t have to fake one anymore. I was just happy that I finally had the chance to see Bucky again. That maybe seeing each other again could mend our souls a little bit.

Steve led me to a room where he told me to suit up. I threw on the suit laid out for me, and met the others on the main level. Steve handed me two little vials which he told me would help take me where I needed to be. He told me I was to stay with him to make sure nothing happened to me. I was perfectly okay with that.

We were all ready to find these stones. Steve showed me a picture of the stones him, Tony, Scott, and I were to be getting. I just wanted to get this over with, to be with Bucky once more. I have waited a long time for this moment, and I just couldn’t wait any longer. 

“Everyone ready?” Bruce asked.

“See you guys in a minute.” Natasha smiled.

We all shrunk down, and our groups went separate ways. I made sure to not lose sight of Steve as we landed in our desired time. We all started walking the tattered streets of New York City, and I knew where we had landed.

“Banner, you find the time stone, Stark and Lang, you two get the tesseract. I’ll get the scepter.” Steve directed.

“What about me?” I asked, curious what my task would be.

“You are staying right here. We’ll all meet right back here once we have secured our items.”

“Why am I here then if you don’t need me?”

“In case things go south.”

I roll my eyes, “fine. I’ll stay here.”

“Thank you.”

They all walk off, and I stay put where they told me to. I listen to them talking on comms to each other. They were pretty entertaining if I was being honest. That was until they started saying they lost the tesseract. Things looked hopeless now.

“What are we gonna do now? The tesseract is gone, and we don’t have any more of the capsules.” Scott paced.

“I have an extra capsule that will get me where I want to be. Please let me do this Steve?”

“Fine. I think I have an idea where you might be going. Just be careful okay?” He hands me something, “put it in here when you grab it.”

“I will. I promise I’ll be careful. I’ll see you guys when I have aquired the tesseract.” I smile.

I plug in the time and date that I wanted, and shrunk down traveling back to January 1945. The day Steve and I put the plane in the water. I remember seeing Red Skull holding it that day, right before he disappeared actually. Maybe that’s what Steve meant by ‘be careful’.

I headed straight to the hanger, and climbed inside. I hid until I knew it was safe to come out. Which meant waiting till Red Skull took off. I waited for Steve, and I to start fighting Red Skull. I came out and prepared to grab the tesseract. I had the special case Steve handed me before I left.

When Red Skull disappeared, and Steve and I went to man the ship, I grabbed the tesseract. I plugged in the date to head back, and shrunk down again, heading back to the correct timeline. I arrived as everyone else returned as well. I looked around to make sure everyone was there, but one person was missing.

“Clint, where’s Nat?” Bruce asked, looking at Clint.

“Barton, where is she?” Tony asked, being more stern.

“She’s gone...it should have been me.” He sounded so sad. I felt for him. I knew how it felt to lose someone I cared so much about.

They all gathered by the water mourning Natasha’s sacrifice. I let them have their moment. It wasn’t my place to be with them while they grieved. It just didn’t seem right, or fair to them. I sat in the lab waiting for them to come back, and assemble the gauntlet.

Steve walked in and sat next to me, “how did it go?”

“It went well. It was weird seeing Red Skull and you, and me. I think I managed well though. Why did you give me an extra capsule?”

“I figured you would go and help us, then I’d let you go and be with Bucky. Get the time you lost back.”

“That makes no sense if I lose him in the end anyways.”

“Maybe part of me hoped you would change his fate. That way you never lost him. You would never have to know what it was like to lose him.”

“That’s really sweet of you Steve, but I don’t think that would be right. For me or him.”

“I understand. I just want you to know that your pain hasn’t gone unnoticed.”

“I’m glad it hasn’t, but I really wish you knew how much I needed you too. I didn’t just miss Bucky, you were my friend too.”

“I know, but you haven’t been the same since you thought he died. You have been more closed off, you don’t smile, or laugh like you used to. I just want you to be happy again. I want to see that beautiful smile, and hear your contagious laugh once more.”

“You will again one day. Right now though, you need to help the others make this gauntlet.” I gave a half smile before moving out of the way so the others could do their job.

I sat outside with my eyes closed. Just waiting for someone to walk up to me and make sure I was okay. The light from the sun was dimmed like a shadow moved in front of me. I smiled before opening my eyes, thinking that Steve, or maybe Bucky, was standing in front of me. When I looked, I saw something that looked like a meteor heading right for the building.

I tried to run inside, but it was too late. The ball, or cannon, or whatever had already hit the building. I wiggle my way out from under the debris, but I could tell I had a pretty severe wound on my abdomen. I tried to call out to someone, but I got no response. I hoped that everyone was alright. 

I finally was able to stand up, and walked outside. There I saw Thor standing, and watching someone. I walked over to him, putting pressure on my side to make sure I stopped the bleeding. That’s when I saw Steve walking up to him too.

“What’s he doing?” Steve asked, looking where Thor was looking.

“He’s just sitting there.” Thor responded. “He doesn’t have the gauntlet right?”

“Not that I can see.”

“Let’s keep it that way.” Steve said, walking over to me.

“Who is that guy?” I asked, looking confused.

“That’s Thanos. He’s the reason half the earth’s population disappeared 5 years ago.”

“Did he figure out what we were planning?”

“It’s not the same Thanos. The one from our time, Thor killed him.” Steve said, walking over to him.

“I used to think that destroying half the planet's life would be good enough, but the other half that stuck around seems to be ungrateful. Looks like I may have to destroy this world, and create a new one, one that will be grateful for the world I have provided.”

That’s when Thor charged at Thanos, and the fight began. Tried to fight as much as I could, but I was losing more and more blood every second. I ran at him, thinking he was going to hurt Steve, but he stopped me and threw me against some rubble. I attempted to get up, but the pain was too much to fight anymore.

I watched as Steve prepared to fight by himself. I wish I had the strength to stand up and fight next to him. I just couldn’t bear the pain anymore. That’s when I heard a voice over comms that sounded kind of familiar. 

“Cap, can you read me. On your left.” The voice said, and these vortex-like things opened up, and out walked three people.

Steve turned to me, and saw that I was on the ground. He reached his hand out to me, and I took it, standing up. He smiled at me, and prepared to fight. That’s when armies of people walked through these vortexes. I stayed close to Steve, finding comfort in the one person I knew fairly well. 

“You okay?” He asked.

“I’ll be okay. I just want this douchebag dead. He took Bucky away, and now he wants to destroy the entirety of planet earth. He deserves what’s coming to him.” 

Steve smiled, “you really haven’t changed a bit. More depressed than what I remember, but your attitude is still the same.” He chuckled lightly.

I giggled, and prepared to fight to the end. I didn’t care if I died, I just wanted Steve and Bucky to live. Steve stood at the front of the army he was leading, perhaps into our last battle. I was ready to do anything. I had found my hidden strength to keep fighting till I physically couldn’t keep fighting anymore. That was quicker to come than I thought. I knew I was losing a lot of blood, but I didn’t know how quickly. Turns out when Thanos threw makeup against the rubble, I created an even bigger wound. 

Only a few minutes into the now fair fight, I started to get really dizzy. I tried to grab a hold of someone before I fell, but there was no one around me. I hit the ground and I was out for the count.

~*~

I don’t know how long I had been out for, or if I was still even alive. To my surprise, and Steve’s happiness, I was.

“Hey there sweetheart.” Steve smiled, gripping my hand tightly.

“Did we win?” Of course that would be my first question. It was the first question I asked when we came out of the ice.

He chuckled, but his look turned sad, “we won, but we lost at the same time.”

“What do you mean? Did he snap them away again?” My heart was pounding in my chest. The fear painted across my face.

“No. Everyone who disappeared is back, but Tony...he snapped Thanos and his army away, but he didn’t make it.” Steve gave me an extremely sad look.

I squeezed his hand, not even paying attention to the fact someone had just walked into the room. I didn’t even notice the person till Steve looked over to them, and got up. I couldn’t quite tell who it was because where they were standing was kind of dark. That and my eyes were fully adjusted yet, but I could tell they were tall and well built, they also had semi-long hair.

“Go on. She’s been waiting.” Steve spoke up, seeing me stare at them.

The person came closer, and I was met with their mesmerizing blue eyes. I smiled at them as they came over to sit down. He seemed closed off, or just really shy. I couldn’t quite get a read on him for whatever reason. 

“Hey.” He gave a very small smile, almost shy.

“Hey.” I smile more. 

“I’ve missed that smile.” Steve spoke up.

I giggled, “well it’s thanks to you that I feel like I can be happy again.”

The man sitting next to me just looked down. I put my hand out for him to take. He grabbed it very gently. It was colder than I thought it would be. I looked down, and saw a metal hand. He tried to pull away, but I gripped his hand tight.

“You’re not scared?” He asked.

“Because I have crossed oceans of time to find you.” I smile wide, bringing his hand to my lips, kissing it gently.

Steve smiled, “you knew it was him the whole time didn’t you?”

“Of course. Those eyes are unforgettable, and his voice is unmistakable.” I felt the hand around mine tighten, and his smile got bigger.

“I’ve missed you doll. I’ve missed you so much.” Bucky spoke.

“I missed you too. I never thought that I would ever see you again.”

We stared lovingly at each other for a while. Enjoying just taking in the fact that he was back into my life. That I had him back. That the best thing that ever happened to me was back. It was the best feeling in the world, one that I thought I would never be able to feel again. I finally felt like my heart had been put back together, and Bucky held the mold in his hands.

[captawesomesauce]

Thoughts at 11pm...

I still miss mystic so much. He’s been on my mind a lot lately, especially when I am falling asleep. 

I miss holding him, I miss him running up and jumping onto my chest and the love and affection he gave. 

I miss his friendship, his companionship, and his funny behaviors that were ALL him. 

I don’t feel well right now... and I didn’t feel well then... but he would lay on my chest and tuck his head into my chin and it was always the best medicine.

I think about all of this because of how much I love W. She is so much like him in many ways, even her well deserved aggressiveness and dislike of my parents lol. 

Mystic would never leave my side, and hated leaving my room for any reason unless I was there. W is just like that too lol.

Her nap today, she curled up just like he used to and captured my arm in the same way... and the feeling of love and happiness that flowed through me was like a tidal wave. 

She is so amazing, so much love inside of her, so much joy and passion, and intelligence. She might say some really silly things (like is Belarus in South America..... ) but you have to understand something that I get to see that few others do...

She can do ANYTHING... she picks things up so fast, she is so capable, and talented, artistic and creative.. in ways that just stun me every time I see her amazing infographics or incredible craft projects. 

The time, energy, and skill she puts into things is unlike so many others, she’s in a class by herself in so many ways. I see it with her GIS work, what she doesn’t know is because she hasn’t been shown/taught... it’s not for lack of anything else. She can literally out-pace and out perform 3 others with more experience, time and resources at her current job, simply because THAT IS HER! 

I have introduced her to so many new topics, topics that she had 0 exposure to before, but now she can talk like an expert about them... she’s a literal sponge when it comes to knowledge, and thats one of the things that made me fall in love with her so deeply.

When we first met, we studied together, and I’m picky... I’m an asshole... If you remember my tutoring days, you know that I won’t just help anyone....

But I loved working with her, I loved answering her questions and working with her to understand logic and concepts and even find ways to increase her ability to just rote memorize shit. From geomorphology to the study of food and human migration patterns, we worked so well together.

And in her I saw a capacity to learn... but she had a unique way of learning that traditional class teaching didn’t quite work for ... she held her own, but there was a lot of stress attached to her accomplishments that was unneeded. 

Together, we work in a way where I help reduce that stress, that anxiety, that confusion, so that she can just focus on the actual understanding and the work. Sometimes that means pausing and re-explaining it, sometimes it means using different words, or different examples, sometimes it just means finding tricks and keys that bust through the blockages and help... like a mnemonic. I’ve seen her digitize maps, I’ve seen her learn new software, new programs, new techniques... and I’ve seen what she creates and it’s incredible. 

But thats because she is and the fact is, that if she had her druthers she’d just be a housecat who naps all day in my arms, gets back rubs, and kisses for days. She’s happy because she’s loved.... she’s thriving because she is amazing... and I am so lucky that I get to be her friend, her partner, and get to love her. 

Tonight we spent all night cooking together, and I admit it... I’ve changed the way I’ve cooked in many ways. I now chop up the pork itty bitty for her, I make my tempura and fried chicken into nuggets for her, and I do it all out of love. 

I even make foods she says she hates, but I know she really loves! You can tell because if I make it just for me, she’ll steal it and eat a bunch and look sad if there isn’t any for her lol. She’ll deadass look me in the eye and say “I don’t like this” ... and then keep eating it out of MY bowl and not give it back until she’s had HER FILL. ...

yeah, she’s a stinker... and her personality never fails to make me laugh and happy. 

I do love her, and I did love mystic so much... and I miss him.. but i’m so lucky to have her in my life to give me that joy... 

He will never be replaced, or duplicated.... he was too special... too amazing.. 21 years together... we grew up so much together... 

But I also know I’m so lucky to have this kind of love again.... and i never ever take it for granted.  

[kyunsies]

things i love + appreciate about my closest moots  💖 (obviously no particular order bc you all hold such a special place in my heart)

i was going to wait and post this when i hit 400 followers but that has passed and i wasn't ready in time and i didn’t really know when to post this ;; so i’m just going to do it now to remind everyone that it is truly a blessing to be here in your presence :) i don’t want to get mushy ALREADY sdlkfjsd but pls know you all mean so much to me <33

@theyoungflexer — my person, my rock, chelle you’re super special!! we have such a quirky relationship that somehow works extremely well; idk how but i had this feeling from the moment we spoke with each other i was like “omg this gal is so funky and sweet!!” i was really excited to get to know you, and we’ve talked everyday without FAIL since we became moots :) v grateful for you chelle, you’re my home girl!! (even tho we live across the states hehe) 💘💗 also i just respect you on so many levels like the way you just attend one of the most amazing colleges in the US and is thriving?? not to mention your equally as smart brother also going to an amazing college too???????? speechless. ALSO BIG SHOUT OUT BC  you are also the reason for inspiring me to start giffing so,,,,,,literally wouldn’t be here without you GOD chelle i’m so mushy for you :’((((

@softhyungkyun — 1/2 of my mom friends!!! my monmomma, my calming energy in this chaotic world!! victoria, my sweet vic how i love u so!! not to mention the BEST canadabebe around 😘 truly don’t know what i would do without you hun!! do u know how special u are to me?? how much i loved ur lil bunny pics whenever u went on a run; your CONSTANT surveillance of my many typos; and most importantly your scalding of me whenever i show my ~alter ego nasty mädch who is a simp for kyun~ (huh?? who said that, certainly not me!!) i literally look up to you in so many ways, and i’m glad i have someone like you in my life 💗💘💖

@ckyunoirs — you’ve all seen it coming but my actual soulmate!! the best kyun soulmate ever 🥺 i honestly can’t remember how we became moots LOL but i just know i thought you seemed like an absolute sweetheart (which you are) and i was so nervous to talk to you!! i was like “ah omg she has so many anons and everyone associates her w kyun i would like to be at that level” but look at us now!!! we really do share the same (thirsting for kyun always 🤝) braincell and i love that i can tell you what’s on my mind always!! you are such a nurturing soul suni, always stressing how important it is to take care of ourselves 🤧 angel behavior i think!! i don’t even have to elaborate anymore bc i think (i hope) you know truly how much you mean to me suni!!!!! thank you for being such a great friend <33

@memehyungwon — nessa!!! my love whom i get extremely excited about whenever i see your name pop up in my inbox 🥺🥺 get yourself a nessa!!!! so sweet, so supportive, so kind, and just all around LOVELY LOVELY LOVELY!! the cutest, my emotional support bub really 💘💗💖💓💞 so much love for you, plus you’re a multi-talented queen with the moodboards + edits like hello you are LEGENDARY!!! also a multistan extraordinaire, what more could u ask for?? aaaand you call me your “cariño mio” like.......,,shush i’m sobbing just thinking of it 🥺

@pansynight — i think ezra is a fallen angel I SAID IT!!! srsly THE most supportive, trustworthy, and down to earth person in the whole wide world. such a hard worker i mean moodboards, audio edits, writing on the side sometimes, AND gifmaking???????? incredible!!! and is just as a hopeless romantic as i am (cue us crying over how much we love Love together,,,,,i need a moment 😭)!! one friend who i can feel totally comfortable + stripped down with 💙💙 did i already say supportive bc ezra is the Most Supportive Bub if you didn’t already catch that 🥺

@sohcean — bee!!!! a fairly recent moot but one i love very much nonetheless!!!! i looked up to you a lot akdbdjdkjdb like you were one of my “it” monsta x blogs imo hehe but i remember i tagged you in a post where an anon asked me who my fav blogs were and 🥺🥺 you sent me an ask something along the lines of “ty v much i’m glad we’re moots now!!” AND WHEN I TELL YOU!!! i was crying 😭😭😭 anyways, always checks in on me once in a while and you’re always super duper sweet and caring (and thank you for submitting sweet kyun pics occasionally; they are SO desperately needed);; plus you are so extremely eloquent with your writing -- when you post something particularly long i kinda just space out into dreamland  bc you just take me to another place with your words omg *chefs kiss* love ya hun!!! 💙💜💙💜💙

@burnitupmp3 — ah ADRY!!! honestly i was really scared to talk to you too for some reason DJFLSDJ but i think that’s bc you’re so extremely hilarious :’) but now that we are certified CLINGMATES 🥺 i literally thank my lucky stars for you everyday :( always and i mean ALWAYS supporting not only me but all of your other moots too ITS SO AMAZING TO SEE!!!!!! never being shy and always starting a conversation with everyone like i’m starting to get the feeling that maybe you DO in fact know every monbebe on this site HEHE but!!!!! grateful for you, if there is one singular constant on tumblr it's you and you're humor, kindness, individuality 💘💗 1/3 of my joobebes, but my ONLY rujoobebe :’) alSO TY FOR FEEDING ME J.SEPH CONTENT <33

@minhyukie — LISTEN if you don’t follow amy you’re missing oUT!!!! but srsly amy i’m going to get really mushy on you jfsdlkfj  🥺🥺 i’ve been following you ever since i made this blog in january (obvi bc u make High Quality content) and i just need to get this off my chest but when u popped in my messages telling me what i was doing wrong in ps about the smart object thing I LITERALLY SCREAMED I JUMPED OUT OF MY SEAT I MESSAGED @theyoungflexer AND WAS LIKE OMG OMG OMG AMY JUST TALKED TO ME!!!!!!!!! jeez like i was so embarrassingly excited :’D !!! man, am i SO happy we are moots <33 the best minbebe around, always providing me with advice and so many resources,,,not to mention we kinda (??) live relatively close-ish to each other so that’s also very cool LOL but srsly!!! amy you are such a backbone for the mbb community here and i look up to you SO much,,,smooches to u 💘💗

@leejooheons — aj!!! 2/3 of my joobebes!!! we are only recently moots but much like amy, i’ve been following you since the beginning of my blog’s existence!! gosh i look up to you in sooooo many ways and again LIKE AMY when i finally found the courage to talk to you i kinda freaked out when you responded LOL !! your gifs are absolutely AMAZING STUNNNG WONDERFUL; you inspire me to really improve my skills, and you always always ALWAYS give me such helpful advice all the time when i don’t even ask for it :( if anything i can't imagine how annoying it is to see me complain about all of my ps troubles but you still take time out of your day to always give me the best tips ever. and for that??? i’m SUPER grateful for all that you do for not only me but for monbebe tumblr too !!! 💘💗

@chaelight — fern!! my other resourceful monbebe moot 🥺 even though we don’t talk all the time, you, like aj, are always providing me with such amazing content advice!!! seriously idk why you all are so incredibly nice to me it’s so touching 😭 and just like bee, you also give me such a calming vibe; you’re just an overall delight to see on my dash because your content is SO well thought out too <33 love you fern!!

@joosgf — lulu!!! 3/3 of my joobebes who also takes the time to tag me in kyun content 🥺 we do not message often but :( omg you’re such a freaking cutie :( i knew i wanted to be your friend when i found your blog bc 1) everyone loves u and 2) you are so incredibly nice <33 i really hope we get to grow closer in the future!! you are so supportive even though we aren't close, and just know that you can always come to me for anything!! also i just love your adoration for our joober it’s SO SWEET, i love to see you geek about him bc it really is the cutest thing <33

@haoranghae — jill!!!!!!! my eastern standard time pal!!!!!!! <33 honestly i think you're the only moot where i DONT have to think about you being asleep while i’m up bc i know we’re on the same time schedule :’) my multifandom buddy who shares my love for victon and honestly a lot of other groups too!! surprisingly we don’t message often but like, i feel like when we DO talk we always pick up where we left off, if that makes sense? i always feel at home talking with you <33 and you’re so freaking SUPPORTIVE always saying nice things and going out of your way once in a while to pop in the inbox!! jill dear you are such a joy, thank you for being you 🥺

@morkyun — carly my sweet angel!!! one of my most precious fellow kyunbebes!!!! idk why you’re so darn SWEET TO ME!! just the sweetest; always asking how i’m doing, always crying over changkyun with me, always participating in ask games sdkjflskdfjslkf how can i ask for anything more than you?? super DUPER grateful to have u in my life, literally such a blessing <33 AND U HAVE ME IN YOUR BIO <33 IM MELTING PLS I FREAKING LOVE U!!!

@hohyuk — everyone LISTEN UP AS A TALK ABOUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE PEOPLE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!!!!! my ma, 2/2 of the mom friends!! you aren’t as active as you were when i first started to talk to you (bc u are a wonderful working WOMAN) but gosh, you made such an impact on me ma :( you are such a caring and nurturing person like the only way i can describe you is motherly :( i remember we would always talk about our days + weekends bc we never really messaged a lot HOWEVER we would always touch base at the end of the week and catch up!! although we don’t talk that often anymore, i want you to know that you will always have a special place in my heart for being exceptionally kind to me 💘💗 and for that i am forever thankful for you ma!! love you!!

@kihyunsgf — kass my cutie patootie!!! we have been moots for a long time it feels!! ( i mean long for me since i’ve one been here since january lol) but you are such an amazing monbebe friend!!! we don’t really private message each other but it seems like we always participate in each other’s ask games so it’s always fun to get to know a little bit more about each other every time we ask questions!! you always reblog not only my work, but every other content creator moots’ works too and i just think you are an extremely supportive friend in general <33 thank you for always being so approachable and warm, and i hope we only grow closer as time goes on 💘💗

@kkyuns — okay aminah OMG so,,,,,,,,,idk if you even want me to consider you a moot yet or anything but 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 can i pls be your moot LOL srsly 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and if you don’t feel comfortable that’s okay and u can just consider this an appreciation post dksfjslkdjf but!!!!!! aminah i’ve already told you i’ve sent you so many asks anonymously and i only recently found the courage and come off bc i feel really comfortable whenever i talk to you <33 literally the KINDEST soul in the entire world;; you might not answer asks quickly ALL the time but you always find a way to make time for the people who look up to you and honestly?? that inspires me to be a kinder more gentler person!! my FELLOW NURSING GAL working your lil BOOTY off, a queen really :’) and not to mention one of the most TALENTED mbb gif makers on the entire planet i’m not even stretching that i truly mean it angel <33 thank u for making me (and others ofc) feel incredibly appreciated, and thank you for being a blessing to mbb tumblr :D

@changkynie — sian angel!!!! you have been with me since the beginning of this blog it seems like!!! thank you for always being my secretive cheerleader on my blog, i really adore you for that! you are such a cutie and you ALWAYS make time to send in little messages to both me and our lil family on my blog!! it’s really the sweetest thing; you are truly SUCH  blessing and i love waking up/falling asleep to your kind words <33 together forever bub i think <33

@tsunpan  (idk which blog you’re comfortable w me tagging so i’ll just do this one dsjfsjdf)—RATCH!!!!!!! i know a lot of ppl on your blog don’t know your name (and oddly enough i’ve never asked either bc i thought u wanted to be secretive LMAO) but then you plugged your twitter @ a while ago and u said it had your name there HEHE SO!!!!!!! i’ll keep it private :) but HOLY CRAP!! my actual first moot on here :( like my FIRST first moot ever :( says i’ve been following you for 8 FREAKING MONTHS!!!!!!!! and wow look how far we’ve come <33 i know i don’t message u as often as a should but just know i cherish this friendship like my life depends on it skdfjlksdjf and thank you for always indulging me with you’re changkyun writings (shout OUT to safekeeping kyun UGH my heart) + also sharing my love for mr. park junhee + ALSO being my astrology guru WOW u really do it all <33 ;; every time i message you i’m always like wow i wish i were as carefree and funny as my gal !! love you to the moon and back dear, thank you for putting up with me 💘💗💖💓💞

@monpabebe —lastly but CERTAINLY not least is my dear RIKA!!!!! again i have this running theme of being scared of the ppl i love LMAO but yes rika i’ve been following you too for a very very long time (i have actually sent u some anonymous stuff too hehe) but i think i fINALLY revealed myself when u mentioned your height!! SHORTBEBES OUT HERE PROTECTING EACH OTHER <33 but on a serious note, you are amazing :( i’m so glad i came out of my shell to finally talk to you; thank you for supporting my work, it means the absolute WORLD to me and thank you for also being a backbone here on monbebe tumblr as well :) i love seeing your interactions with your anons, it always puts a smile on my face 💘💗💖💓💞 whether you're arguing about tomatoes, geeking over shownu, or just giving your opinion on everything monsta x related, i always look up to you 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i know i don’t really talk to you often (bc i’m still a lil intimidated IM SORRY skdfjksd) but i would love for our lil friendship to bloom in the future rika!! :)

[hayleyb100]

The Origin

*It’s a continuing story from The Misconstruction!

"Hey, Raihan!"

Leon waved at the Dragon Gym Leader who was sitting outside the Hammerlocke Cafe.

"Hey, Leon..."

But to Leon's surprise, Raihan was extremely gloomy, which is a very rare sight.

"Raihan? Is something the matter?" Leon asked with a worried expression.

"Nothing? You were so caught up with Battle Tower thingy so I called you instead of waiting for your call. It doesn't hurt to meet the best pal in a while, right?" Raihan pulled his mouth to wear a fake smile, but the darkness lingered on his face.

"That doesn't seem like an only issue." Leon shook his head.

Raihan hesitated for a while. Leon wasn't the most skilled of all to read other's minds, but it was clear Raihan has a busload of things he wanted to vent.

"Please tell me Raihan. You look frazzled."

"........"

Raihan bit his lips. He fiddled with his fingers with nervousness. Leon was quite thrown off at his friend's unusual reactions. He never saw Raihan this nervous in his life.

"Leon. I'm going to be frank. How do you get strong?"

Leon nearly blew out his coffee at such an unexpected question.

"What? Raihan, today isn't April Fool's Day, right?"

It wasn't a shock that Leon took it as a joke. It was Raihan. The 8th Gym Leader of Galar whose pride is as high as the Gigantamaxed Duraludon itself.

"I'm serious, Leon." Raihan snapped.

"Do you think I'm the type to ask this humiliating questions for a joke?"

Leon shook his head. It was clear Raihan was restless.

"So... Why asking that out of blue? I mean, I might answer you better if I realize exactly what you want to know."

"Well..."

"Come on, Raihan. You know I won't trumpet any of the things we discussed here."

Raihan took a deep breath to start a conversation.

"You know ever since we met during the pokemon journey, I told you that I aim to become strong?"

"Yeah, the most powerful pokemon trainer, you said. That's why you chose 241(Can be read as 'strong' in Japanese) as your back number, right?"

"Mhm... But... Recently, it feels as if I hit a roadblock. No matter how much I try... I don't seem to exceed my present state."

Leon tilted his head.

"What do you mean? You are addressed as the strongest Gym Leader in Galar."

"You know damn well why I am asking this!"

Raihan slammed the coffee cup on the table with rage.

"I tried years to defeat you and I couldn't! Until you stepped down from that glory and is enjoying your life as Battle Tower owner! And Victor? Don't even start!! You know the best that I am no match for him!! I even get defeated by other Gym Leaders as well! I..."

Raihan got choked on his rage and had to pause.

"...At this rate, I am not even sure if I can call myself the strongest Gym Leader of Galar."

That was honestly how he felt. The more he tried, the more he realized his limits, so it tempted him to throw the towel. Although he was the most classy and fancy person out there in Galar, he was a worn-out, wounded dragon who felt completely torpor on his dream inside.

To get away from the unbearable despair, Raihan turned his eyes to SNS and fashion where everyone praised him.

But he knew better than anyone that it is pathetic escapism. It's so easy to get distracted when the hurdle is so high. He knew that he had to train harder to break the limit, but he just felt more lost and helpless with a compiling number of losses in official battles. Raihan couldn't even talk back to all those harsh comments on his SNS addressing him as a loser or failure, because it is a legit truth. He is a good-for-nothing loser who is running away from his dream.

Now Leon felt the situation is serious than ever. He never once saw Raihan this devastated.

Leon thought hard how to cheer his best friend. Then, something rang a bell in Leon's mind.

"Hey, Raihan... Someone told me once that 'Focusing too much on how and why take us nowhere. Sometimes it is better to focus on what we can get out of it.'"

"What are you talking about?"

Raihan asked back in frustration.

"It seems like you are too desperate to stack power that you are only focusing on how to get stronger..."

"Well, duh! What else is needed??"

"If the method has no problem, let's move away from how to get stronger or why you are not getting stronger and ask yourself something else."

Leon took a deep breath and asked.

"What is the origin of your dream?"

Raihan's eyes widened.

"Wh... What?"

"What is the driving force for you to become the strongest trainer?"

Raihan was dumbfounded. It's been years since he asked himself that question so he could not answer right away. He made a long drive taking advantage of victory without giving a second thought about it, and it worked. So he thought it was fine. But not anymore.

So Raihan tried to become strong... For what?

He carefully reminisced his memories. The pain rushed back in.

The pain of losing mother, his role model, was so intense that it made him pledge to become strong so that none of it happens again. So, that means he wanted to be powerful so that he can protect someone dear to him.

Okay. But... protect who?

Sure Raihan has many that are meaningful to him. Leon his best pal, and all the other Gym Leaders who go through what he goes through. However, do they need protection from someone else? They are all skillful and strong enough to guard themselves. So...

What exactly was Raihan stacking all those powers for?

For... nothing?

"...Then, what is yours?"

All Raihan could do is to ask Leon back with the same question, in the hope to get some clues.

"My driving force is Hop, of course." Surprisingly, Leon never hesitated to answer with sparkling eyes.

"At first, it was a vague responsibility and pressure from others saying I should be an unbeatable Champion. It was suffocating, rather. I didn't feel the joy of thriving. All I could feel was the pressure of I mustn't lose. Plus, I was afraid that if I am not the Champion anymore, my dear brother won't love me anymore."

That's new. Raihan thought. He never thought even Leon, the idol of Galar had such worries. Even Raihan himself who claims to be Leon's pal didn't even notice it.

"But now, I don't have any lingering attachments left to the Champion title, since I finally realized that Hop loves me whether or not I am Champ. He adored me despite I have the power or not. I feel so much lighter and lively these days because I'm freed from the pressure. My dream of making Galarian trainers the strongest out there hasn't changed, but I can pursue it in better ways after breaking the chain of pressure. I'm so glad and overjoyed that I can give all the love to Hop without any worries! I guarantee, that to have somewhere to return to when things are grim is such a blessing. And if someone has something that precious, they just tend to be strong to protect it."

Raihan dropped his head. Now he sees what he's lacking. Something that he can never fulfill.

"Lucky you. I have nothing like that."

Upon Raihan's disappointment, Leon tilted his head once more.

"That can't be true."

Raihan stared at him trying to argue, but Leon seemed to assure of himself.

"The way you love your pokemon shows it. Someone who never received love from others can never love others as well. I'm not in a position to say who, but there must be... someone who loves you."

With that, something hit Raihan hard. 

Someone Raihan tried so hard to push out of his memory popped into his head. The gentle cuddle, the scent of wildflowers and a meadow after rain, the smile full of love, and turquoise eyes that looked just like him.

"Maybe pay a visit to that person," Leon added.

"You might get an answer. I certainly found my answer for visiting Hop. Remember, if you can't find the answer, go back to your origin."

"But..." Raihan shook his head.

"He hates me now."

"Did he say he hates you?" Leon asked back, still calm.

"Umm, no. But it's obvious..."

"There's no such thing as obvious when it comes to someone else's feelings towards you." Leon shook his head too.

"I thought Hop hated me since I wasn't the Champion anymore... But the person who advised me also gave me a clue to honestly ask Hop about his feelings. And that's how I made it up with Hop."

Leon tapped Raihan's shoulder to cheer him.

"Remember, don't jump to the conclusion. Go and be honest with yourself."

______________________________________

Even after Leon went back to Battle Tower after a short visit and Raihan was left alone, he was full of doubts. He thought his problem is so vast that one little visit won't solve everything. Plus, he knew the man he's thinking won't even welcome him. Raihan knows he's been an ass. He never visited him for over 10 years, said all the abusive words to him such as he is weak, and the last thing he said to that man was 'I hate you'.

Not to mention, Raihan had such complicated feelings towards him. He now knows that it wasn't on purpose, but he still had an old hatred from that slap after his mother's funeral. But on the other side, Raihan was restless all the time towards that man, since he is the only family left, and he is sickly. Raihan knew his old man hates him too since he literally snubbed all his effort of reconciliation. He wanted to visit him, but his stupid pride didn't allow him too.

He was just lost on what to do.

[storyplease]

So I finally watched “Rise of the Guardians” and I have some thoughts about the major themes in the film...

Anyway, so I know this is a kid’s film or whatever, and I know that this probably WAYYY too in the weeds as far as thoughts are concerned, but what is Tumblr even good for if you can’t rant about fictional characters in peace?

Potential spoilers below cut...

Anyway, so the movie centers around mythical character such as the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus, etc, who can be argued are literally and figuratively “unbelievable” beings that require the faith of children (not necessarily the actual knowledge of their existence) to exist.  In many ways, they play by the same rules as the American Gods in Neil Gaiman’s story of the same name. But I digress (a theme in my writing, yes?).  One of the biggest themes in the movie is the idea of a “center”- each mythical entity has a an unusual “spark” of something that makes them worthy (from what appears to be upon their death) of becoming more than human. 

So for example:

Santa Claus: Miracles/Wonder

Easter Bunny: Rebirth/Hope

Tooth Fairy: Remembrance/Connection

Sandy: Joy/Peace

It is established that all of the characters used to be mortal at some point or other, so the universe appears to have a deus ex machina (the Man in the Moon, who appears to run everything, but more on that later) who “decides” when someone is to be bestowed with powers...but who is also rendered intangible to the human beings they depend on for their power to grow until they prove themselves (mostly to children, because children tend to easily trust and believe in all manner of thing without a shred of evidence, and would therefore be much easier to convince to pledge their loyalty to)...somehow.

One of the big parts of Jack Frost’s story arc is that he doesn’t have any memories of who he was before he awoke with his abilities.  He doesn’t remember his family or have the ability to have connections with mortals directly, and yet some people do mention his name without seeing him, so it appears that he is able to scrape power here and there.  It is also worth mentioning that all of the Guardians appear to be aware of and can interact with Jack, but that they have chosen not to for over 400 years other than a few times where Jack has tried to playfully interact only to be shut down or retaliated against.

When he finally finds his memories, everyone acts really surprised, but it seems odd that this would never have come up before, especially since the Tooth Fairy appears to swoon/love his teeth and might have brought it up (but we shall forgive her a bit as she appears to be absurdly busy running the tooth empire to end all tooth empires). 

But the most important part of this revelation is that a lot of Jack Frost’s negative character traits are specifically because he is lonely and has nobody else.  He spends his life interacting with a world that cannot see or touch him.  Therefore, his center (fun/mischief) becomes twisted and he causes trouble.

When he realizes his past and is able to connect with both mortal children and the other Guardians, his character blossoms! He becomes confident, protective, fun and wisecracking but without malice or bitterness. 

He comes into his own, and his power increases.

Which brings me to...you guessed it...the main antagonist of the film.

The character of Pitch is obviously the bad guy.  He’s dark, scary, looks kinda like he’s never brushed his teeth unless the toothpaste was made of coal, and is in general menacing and terrifying.  He harms the characters, terrifies the children and generally drives the plot for his own selfish ends.  After all, he’s known as the “boogeyman.”

His main traits appear to be a penchant for darkness (creating it and hiding in shadow) and causing fear.  His lair appears to be in a hole underground that is situated under an old and rotting bed frame.  Now there’s a lot of this that could just be taken on the nose.  After all, there’s a reason that “there’s a monster under your bed” is a semi-universal kid’s fear.

There’s even a terrible pun about Pitch having a great time in the “Dark Ages.”

The thing is, darkness can mean a lot of things.  And so can fear.

Let me back up a bit so I can explain what I’m getting at:

Awhile back, I read an amazingly insightful book called The Gift Of Fear.  It has a lot of very good advice on recognizing and using the fear response to protect your safety and your life.  Fear is often overlooked as a silly, primal thing, especially when we talk about children and things that go bump in the night, but there is a very good reasons why humans feel a variety of kinds of fear, and many of them are actively useful in preserving your life.

Darkness is essential to life.  The day ends, and night falls.  Shadows follow our moves and do as we do.  Even the human eye cannot bear blue light at night, and artificial lighting has been touted as all kinds of unhealthy by experts and doctors alike. 

None of these things are actively evil or wrong, to be sure.

But Pitch has something in common with Jack Frost.  And what is that?  Why, he is ignored. Nobody believes in him (which I find silly to be honest because I know plenty of kids afraid of the dark or who have nightmares and such).

The whole thing- the theatrical posing, the big scary Villain speech...in the end, Pitch was doing just the same thing that Jack did when he antagonized the Easter Bunny by ruining the egg hunt with frost.  He wanted people to pay attention to him, to like him.  And because nobody would do so, he decided that negative attention was still attention.

This is backed up by the fact that none of the children are harmed by his nightmare horses when faced with him (they turn into golden sand when touched).  They even say, even with thousands of scary black nightmares bearing down on them, that they aren’t scared of him and will protect the Guardians.

I feel like Pitch is overlooking a couple of things when he is trying his ridiculous plan to rule the world in darkness. 

First off, he’s backed himself into a corner- he plays the bad guy, of course he isn’t going to win against the heroes.  And to some extent, it’s pretty obvious that he knows it.  For all his posturing, he often pulls his punches, and even when he destroys Jack’s staff, he still throws it down on the ground and does not take it with him because he is trying to get Jack to see beyond his limitations just as he himself has learned to harness the sand with his darkness.

Secondly, just because kids love Santa and Easter and gifts from tooth fairies, not all kids have perfect upper-middle-class lives like the children in this movie.  There is a reason why there are a surprisingly large number of hand-drawn comics that deal with a child making friends with the monster under the bed or even being protected by said monster against an abusive parent or family member.

My feeling here is that Pitch hasn’t truly realized what his purpose is, and that he is actually being held back because....

Pitch’s center is fear.

There’s a reason he’s portrayed as having a lair under a shabby, rotting bed, in darkness.  When he was human, his life must have been hellish.  I can imagine him hiding in the shadows of his room, crouched under the bed in darkness because the fear of what his father or mother might do to him was eating him alive.  In fact, he may have died in that manner, terrified out of his mind and knowing only the darkness to hide him.  If this is what the Man in the Moon deemed worthy to change him into his post-mortal form, then is any of this truly his fault?

I might say...no.  Being awoken from a hellish world where you are in constant fear to a world in which fear and darkness are the only thing that strengthen you would be its own sort of hell.

We don’t get to see Pitch’s past, but ostensibly the Tooth Fairy has it and knows of it.  A tooth is knocked out at the end, so ostensibly it will go in Pitch’s box, or the box of whoever he was when he was mortal.

But furthermore, what if Pitch were able to change the way he thinks about his power and his strength?  What if he uses his darkness to conceal children who are in danger, or helps those who are imprisoned to escape? What if he guides children away from danger by using their fear to guide them?  What I am saying is that “playing the villain” seems to be the most obvious thing when you’ve only ever known an existence in which you are hated and told you are wrong and bad.

However, if we really sit down and think about it, colored eggs and toys are no more “good” than shielding the weak and vulnerable with your shadows and putting the fear of...something that bumps in the night in the hearts of predators while guiding the fear of the young from forks in outlets and jumps from high places.

In the end, locking a being like Pitch away is a foolish idea because in his loneliness in the darkness, his fear and terror will only grow, driving him into madness in his isolation.  Pitch not only has to learn to conquer his own fears (fear or being rejected, fear of being hated) but to also realize that he can be more than a flat villainous character if he wishes to thrive.

He just has to get past the fear.

[chaosworthyarchive]

                                                                3.14.3226                                            Location ¦ Green Hill, Johnny’s Bar                                                           ————————

     The bar settled on the bare outskirts of the village was one of the newest structures it had to offer, and yet it was also one of the most lively. Even now in the early afternoon the sound of clinking cups, plates and animated conversation between the Green Hill citizens came from the restaurant. Adults and children alike were laughing over the ambient music playing from the building’s speakers, and despite the noise there was a peaceful air among the small crowd. The air of comradery, of a community that thrived together.

     Among it, gathered on the other side of the building where the bar was settled and currently empty save for them, were three of the six Freedom Fighters. And one, very shiny guitar. It went without saying that Sonic and Mina were passionate about music, and even that was putting it very lightly, but Johnny had a similar interest, or at least he had when the hedgehog mentioned his latest splurge. The rabbit was currently fixated on the purple hued instrument, eyes taking in the off gold trim and extricate bird design on the neck. It was fitting for the hero and even Mina was having a hard time not admiring it as the three of them conversed.  

     They had been talking about nothing in particular, simple day to day things, when the backdoor, the one within the kitchen, opened. A few moments later a rather rugged but, friendly looking, older rabbit walked through the double swinging doors. Upon settling his gaze on the group, a hearty laugh erupted from his throat and he smiled.  

     “Ain’t this a sight for sore eyes,” he began, smirking as he looked from Johnny, his son, to the blue hedgehog. Johnny’s father was a tall, darker furred rabbit with a gruff appearance but a good heart. Kind despite his size, but strong (something the hedgehog was reminded of as the rabbit hugged him outright). Often away on business it was rare that the elder was seen around the village and it had been a long time since the hero had done just that, let alone had a conversation with the man who had been a big part of his childhood. They had both been busy over the last few years, to say the least.

     It was something he could tell was going to be remedied as the older rabbit looked him over, that grin growing in a way both proud and curious. “How've ya been? Other than that mess on the news a few years back, I mean.”

     There was a collective glance from the three younger Mobians towards one another, all three of them thinking the same thing but none of them willing to voice that thought. At least not then, and not out loud. It was probably better they didn’t anyway, no need to drag down a perfectly casual conversation after all.

    “I’m still around, so I can’t complain much about that, I s'ppose.” Sonic couldn’t help but grin back, despite the memory, and made a nonchalant gesture. “As for things...they’ve been good, great actually. An’ after everything that’s happened there’s something almost terrifying about that.”

     “I know what ya mean,” the elder agreed, nodding his head with a particular weight in his voice. It didn’t last long, however, and there was something almost scolding that took over their tone, his eyes fixed on the hedgehog. “But I’ll tell ya what, while the world’s a lot better place with you in it, if ya ever pull a stunt like that crap in the city, you’ll be hearing from me. Got it?”

     The hero did get it, very much so, and even though he could tell there were burning questions on the elder’s end the conversation continued and drifted from there. Something Sonic was thankful for. It didn’t just give the four of them a chance to catch up (or, in the case of Mina and the elder rabbit, a chance for introductions and more than a few shared, embarrassing stories at the hedgehog’s expense) but managed to dispel the weight in the air. In fact, there was something entirely new by the time Johnny’s father pointed to the guitar on the counter. He didn’t need to ask whose it was, he had a pretty good feeling.  

      “Ya still play, right?”

     Sonic would have been lying if he said he hadn’t expected the question sooner or later, and Chaos knew he could already pinpoint the look in the other’s eyes. It was a look he had seen a lot as a kid, even Johnny had recognized it and had laughed as the hero answered with: “occasionally, yeah. Do you?”

     “Hey now, don’t forget who taught ya everything ya know.” The response came with a much heartier laugh, a look of enthusiasm in the older rabbit’s eyes as he jabbed a thumb off to the side, towards a different section of the restaurant they both knew all too well. “How about we give ‘em a show? Show me that natural talent of yours.”

     Oh yes, the hero had been expecting that indeed. It was rare that he got the chance to see one of the people who had practically raised him, apart from Rosie, and yet it never failed that the same request came up every time he did. Though, this time, Sonic would admit he had walked right into it. Had his father not asked the hero had a strong feeling that Johnny would have and he would have ended up playing in some shape or form regardless. Given that the middle part of the building was a small but functional stage only added to that possibility.  

     However, even now, there was hesitance as the hero pondered the question. There was a temptation, but still a reluctance and yet before he could say anything, someone else had taken the decision out of his hands.

     “He’s in.”

     If the look the hedgehog had just shot his girlfriend was anything to go by, they were definitely having a talk later. Something that likely would have happened right then and there had Johnny not added his own response to the pile.

    “So am I.” It was punctuated by the younger rabbit clapping the hero on the shoulder, his grin just as wide and exhilarated as his father’s had become. Honestly, it was times like that when Sonic realized the pair really were the splitting image of each other. But as the older rabbit followed suit, going as far to get up and grab the bass he kept as a spare in the restaurant, the hedgehog realized he no longer had a say in what was happening.  

     He wasn’t the only one either, and as he felt a hand slip into his Sonic looked back to meet Mina's eyes. There was an apology in her jade hues, but also that fire the hero had fallen in love with. Giving his hand a squeeze, she smiled at him, a supportive gesture. "Just this once, alright? For me? It’ll do you some good.”

     “You owe me, I hope you know that.” There was a semi-serious tone to his voice, one that the mongoose answered with a look that spoke volumes as the hedgehog grabbed the guitar from the counter. If he was going to do this, might as well break in a new instrument, right?

     It only took a few minutes for everything to be set up, and Sonic would have been surprised if it hadn’t broken some kind of record. Then again, the stage portion of the restaurant was used just about every weekend so things were ready to go at a moment's notice to accommodate any person or band who wanted to play for the night. It wasn’t the first time the hedgehog had been on the stage but standing there, even with a song already in mind between the three performers, there was still a heavy feeling his gut. A feeling only marginally helped when Mina smiled from a nearby table and Johnny’s voice rang out from the drum set behind him.

     “Ready?”

     The word ‘no’ had almost jumped off the hero’s tongue but he bit it down and nodded. Trying, and failing, to ignore the rapid beating of his heart as there was some more shuffling behind him and the countdown started, the hero let his eyes slip close.

     It was funny, some voice told him, how many things could happen in a few seconds – in just a few bars. How doubts could fester, all at once and suddenly, bringing with it an utter sense of dread that had quite literally turned the hero’s stomach. How all at once, despite shaking hands and the innate desire to hide from the dozens of eyes now on him, hearing the first beats ring out into the air was almost cathartic. Like the voice of an old, cherished friend.

     It was now, or never.

     With one breath, on one beat, he sang:  

          “Standing in the rain, with his head hung low.           Couldn't get a ticket, it was a sold-out show.           Heard the roar of the crowd, he could picture the scene.           Put his ear to the wall, then like a distant scream…”

     It was almost instinctual the way his fingers moved, like it was second nature, a gut feeling that he couldn’t think to fight. A feeling he didn’t want to fight, he found. The dread, the trepidation? It had all been nullify, replaced with something far more fierce; far more real.

     He never understood it, likely never would, but just like so many times before a sense of peace washed over the hedgehog, growing stronger with every passing second. Stronger with every passing note until his mind cleared, his body relaxed and those bright eyes opened once more.  

      And he smiled.

     Not the smile of someone forcing their way through a task, not the smile of someone who wanted to flee, but the smile that spoke of a true, unadulterated joy. A joy – fun - that bled into the next few minutes, into each note, each syllable.  

     Because there really was nothing better than music. Not to him.  

[ificanthaveu]

Letters, Rivals and Cold Weather || The DropBack || Shawn Mendes

Description: As everyone preps for the game to determine who goes to the championship, you get the letter you’ve been waiting for.

A/N: This is kind of a filler chapter that’s prepping for the next chapter which will be a lot definitely. Kinda short, but just gets to the point of what the rest of the series will be based on. 

Word Count: 1.7k

This is part 6! Catch up before you read this: The DropBack Masterlist

“[Y/N],” you heard Elsie yell from downstairs.

“Upstairs!” You yelled back as you finished doing your hair before the game. Elsie came barging in, and you jumped back.

“Ok, so I noticed you didn’t grab your mail yet, so I grabbed it on my way in, and…” she trailed off as she held up an envelope. Your breath hitched in your throat as you read who it was from.

“USC?” You whispered quietly. She nodded her head as you pulled it out of her hands and just stared at it.

“Open it!”

“I can’t. What if it says no?” You start to panic as you pace back and forth and stare at the unopened letter.

“You won’t know until you open it,” she said as she rested her hands on your shoulders to stop you from moving. You took a deep breath before you slowly opened the envelope.

You slowly pulled out the letter and read and reread the first two sentences over and over again.

“So?” Elsie said carefully. You finally looked up at her.

“I got in,” you whispered. Before you could even comprehend what was going on, Elsie has her arms wrapped around you and was jumping up and down.

“USC, baby! You’re going to freaking USC!” She yelled as she shook your shoulders aggressively. “Call David!”

You grabbed for your phone and hit his contact. It seemed to ring forever until he finally picked up.

“Yes?” He said with slight annoyance in his voice.

“I got in,” you said as tears welled up in your eyes. “I’m going to USC.”

You had to pull your phone away from your ear as David yelled back at you.

“My baby sister’s joining me at college! I’m so proud of you, [Y/N],” he said as you could hear the joy in his voice. “We’ll talk later, but go call Mom and Dad.”

“Alright, alright, talk to you later,” you said before hanging up. You quickly called both your parents who were almost just as excited for you.

After that, you and Elsie sat in your bathroom, not saying anything.

“I can’t believe I got in,” you whispered to yourself.

“This is all becoming a little too real,” she said from her spot on the floor. You glanced over at her, and she looked like she was about to cry. You held your hand up.

“Nope, not happening, you’re not allowed to do that right now,” you said through a laugh. “We’ve still got most of our senior year to get through. You can’t cry, yet.” She shook her head and wiped underneath her eyes quickly before standing up.

“Ok, fine, I’ll save it. Finish getting ready, so we can go,” she said as she leaned against the doorway. “Can’t be late for this one or we’ll never get a spot in the stands. Plus, an hour drive-“

You cut her off before she could finish, “I know, I know. Big game. How’s Matthew?”

“He’s freaking out.”

“Yeah, same with Shawn.”

“If they lose this, I almost don’t want to see Matthew after because it breaks my heart when he cries since he never does it,” she said as she sat up on your counter.

“They could be going to the championship, El. The first time in seven years,” you said. “I think they have a really good chance.”

She sighed as she leaned against the mirror. “I want to believe that they can do it, but at the same time, I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

You nodded your head at her and took a deep breath.

“It just all depends on how they’re doing today. Tonight is all that matters, and it sucks. It doesn’t matter that they’ve crushed it all season. They could have one bad night, and they’re out and the season’s done,” you said quietly.

“You’re making me sadder than I was when we were talking about college,” she said before hopping off the counter. “Let’s go.”

You finished with your hair and quickly threw on Shawn’s jersey that was laying on your bed and you were out the door.

—

“Have you found out about UCLA yet?” You asked Elsie once you were on the way to the football game.

“Nope,” she said shortly.

“Has anyone else gotten their letters yet from early admit?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Not that I know of. Honestly, I’m just hoping I don’t get denied. Like at least just put me on the waiting list.”

You nodded your head as you looked out the window.

“You think we can handle being rivals?” you asked her with a sly smile.

She laughed at you before shaking her head.

“USC may have beat UCLA this year, but since we know I’ll obviously be the good luck charm, we’ll crush you,” she retaliated.

“Don’t be so sure,” you paused. “Are you really going to cheer against David? He’d be so disappointed.”

“I can cheer for David, but against the rest of the team. How does that sound?”

“Sounds perfect,” you said as you smiled at her once more.

“Do you know where Shawn’s applied?” She asked after a moment of silence. You sighed and ran a hand over your face.

“He never talks about it,” you said quietly. “I have absolutely no idea what he wants to do or where he wants to go or where he applied. He hasn’t told me.”

“If you could guess, what would you guess?”

“Only place I think that maybe he applied to is Notre Dame and maybe Penn state. He’s mentioned going to Notre Dame games before, and he moved here from Pennsylvania. But those are complete guesses,” you said as you glanced over at her, and you rested your head against the window. “I can only hope that he applied to USC since we’ve been spending so much time there.”

“Well, some people just don’t want to tell anyone because they’re not sure where they’ll get in. Don’t want to disappoint anyone,” she reasoned. “And USC is hard to get into. You’re smart as hell, and you had legacy. You were a shoo-in. Shawn might not be, especially with how he’s been struggling in physics.”

“Yeah, I guess,” you mumbled as she pulled into the parking lot. You were there early for once, so you took your time walking towards the stands to secure a spot. You couldn’t stop thinking about Shawn. When did you tell him you were going to USC? Do you just tell him after the game or wait until another time? Do you not say anything unless he brings it up?

You must have been lost in your thoughts because before you knew it, the game had started.

Shawn was on top of his game, doing even better than usual as he seemed to take over the entire field.

“Damn, what’s up with him?” Elsie said as she nudged your arm.

“No idea, must just be having a good day. And the perfect game to have that.”

Monroe won by a landslide, solidifying their spot in the championship in two weeks. You could practically see Shawn’s smiling radiating through his face mask during the final play.

You and Elsie were waiting at the gate, bundled up in sweatshirts with blankets wrapped around your shoulders for a particularly cold night in California, but that didn’t stop you from sprinting into Shawn’s open arms when he walked out.

His arms wrapped around you, but underneath the blanket as he buried his head into your neck. You could feel his cold nose pressed against your neck.

“You’re so warm,” he mumbled into your shoulder. You ran your hands up and down his back, attempting to warm the both of you up. “I literally grew up in Canada and Pennsylvania. How am I cold when it’s barely below sixty degrees,” he mumbled as you could feel him laugh as you did the same.

“You killed it out there,” you whispered into his ear as he chucked against your shoulder again.

“I just had such a good day. I guess it showed,” he said as he finally pulled away and smiled at you. Before you could ask why, Matthew and Elsie were coming up from behind Shawn, and Matthew swung his arm around him.

“Best game of the year, easily!” He yelled just a little too loud as Elsie cuddled farther into his side.

“Can we please leave? I’m freezing,” Elsie said as she looked at you. You nodded before looking over at Shawn.

“Yeah, I’ll meet you at the car,” you said as you gave her a look. She nodded her head and nudged Matthew in the side.

“Oh, yeah, I’ll see you in the locker room, Shawn,” he said before walking away with Elsie.

“You gonna walk me to the locker room?” He asked as he slung his arm around you.

“Of course,” you said quietly.

The two of you began walking in silence toward the opposing team’s school.

“So,” you started.

“So?” He mocked you before you elbowed him in the side. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, what is it?”

“I got my USC letter today,” you said. He stopped in his tracks and held onto your shoulders.

“And?” He almost screamed with anticipation written all over him.

You couldn’t contain the smile, “I got in. I’m going to USC next year, officially.”

Shawn had his arms wrapped around you and swung you around as he repeatedly said how proud he was of you. He finally let you down, and his smile said everything you ever needed.

“I’m so damn proud of you, honey. That’s insane! USC!” He said as he shook your shoulders again. “Did you tell David?’

“First person I called. He nearly made my eardrum burst,” you said through your grin. Shawn scooped you up into another hug as you cuddled your head into his chest and couldn’t wipe the smile off your face.

He finally pulled away after a few moments, and the two of you began walking toward the school again.

“I actually have good news, too,” he said as he glanced down at you.

You gave him a confused look, “What is it?”

“I got accepted to Penn State. I think I’m going to commit.”

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