#the way i feel about Christmas is the same way Matthew feels about halloween

[daemonskitty]

In the cracks of light I dreamed of you and it was real enough to get me through

[babymetaldoll]

Family probation period (Matthew Gray Gubler/ Reader)

Requested: Yes 

Summary: Matthew Gray Gubler meets his girlfriend’s family on Christmas eve. Just one detail: none of them knew she was dating. 

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of abusive relationships 

Category: Fluff

Pairing: Matthew Gray Gubler/ Reader 

Wordcount: 3,5K

A/N: A late Christmas story, but I think we are still in the holiday season... right? also: requests are officially open

Masterlist 

- 

- "Are you sure about this?"- (Y/N) looked at Matthew and he nodded with a huge grin on his face. They were parked outside her parent’s house. They had driven from Los Angeles to San Francisco to spend Christmas Eve with them. 

- "Why not? I bet they are gonna love me"- he answered with his “Matthew Gray Gubler’s certified to make you drop your panties smile.”

- "I don’t know, I’m nervous"

- "Well missy, it was your idea to drop by your parents and surprise them with the news of your adorable boyfriend, so?"- (Y/N) smiled and nodded. 

- "And you thought it was a great idea, by the way, that's why you are here"

- "Yeah"- Gubler sighed and looked outside- "Why do you still trust my good judgment?" 

- "Well…"- (Y/N) looked at me and bit her lips- "You are very convincing"- he smiled and kissed her lips softly.

- "It's gonna be ok, they love you, I love you, which means we are gonna get along"- she nodded and smiled. 

- "Alright, I'll pretend that makes sense"- Gubler chuckled and kissed her again

- "Let's do this, Bunny".

-

Matthew and (Y/N) had been dating for over ten months. At first, they decided to take things slow, get to know each other better, try to make things work with their crazy schedules. But soon, they realized they had fallen in love, and “taking things slow” was not their thing. 

(Y/N) had decided to wait for the right moment to tell her parents she had found someone. Her last relationship had been a nightmare, and she knew her family (especially her brother) was going to be apprehensive about her new boyfriend. However, she was eager to tell them how happy she was with Matthew and how great he was with her. 

He was, hands down, the best boyfriend she had ever had. He was sweet and thoughtful. Sure, he wasn’t perfect. He would forget many things 'cos his head was in hundredth places at once (she was almost sure he had ADHD). And sometimes it felt she had a boyfriend and a son all wrapped in the same 6 ft adorable manchild she was dating. But still, he was the best boyfriend.

She was hoping her parents and family would see he made her happy.   

-

- “Ok, here we go”- Matthew rang the bell and turned to (Y/N), excited. She laughed and opened the door.

- “I still got my key.”

- “Right.”

- “Hello? Mom? Dad?”- she took a step inside and looked around. Her father stood up from the couch quickly and nearly ran to the door.

- “Peanut! You are home!”

Matthew smiled and held their bags staring at the scene. In all the time they had been together, he had heard a lot about (Y/N)’s parents. She loved them deeply, and he knew she wanted to share their relationship with them.

Her last boyfriend was an abuser, he hit her, and she kept it from everybody for months before breaking up. That’s why he could understand why her family would be apprehensive. And he was ready to show them how much he loved her.

- “My baby is home!”- (Y/N)’s mom appeared from the kitchen and hugged her daughter, who was still wrapped in her father’s embrace. 

- “Guys! I can’t breathe!”- she pretended to be suffocating and giggled. 

- “Too bad! You are never home! So bear with it!”- her father chuckled and kissed the top of her head 

- “By the way, (Y/N), who’s the man standing by the door?”- her mother asked and frowned, looking at Gubler. He smiled and waved, making his best to look as nice as possible. 

- “Guys, I want you to meet Matthew Gray Gubler… my boyfriend.”

And the silence in the room was as thick and uncomfortable as possible.

- “Hello”- Gubler smiled and shook their hands- “It’s a pleasure to meet you, (Y/N) talks so much about you”- but neither of them knew what to say. 

- “Guys, it’s ok, he is a good guy”- (Y/N) wrapped an arm around Matthew, and he immediately kissed the top of her head. 

- “Did I hear my sister has a new boyfriend?”- footsteps coming down the stairs surprised the couple, and (Y/N) wide opened her eyes immediately.

- “Adam!! You are home!!”- she hugged her brother so tight, he couldn’t help but laugh.

- “I’ve got the feeling you missed me.”

- “So fucking much!! When did you get home?”

- “Last night, mom said you’d be coming for Christmas, so I thought I could surprise you.”

- “And where are my nephews? I wanna spoil my babies!”

- “With Emma getting the last few things mom needed from the grocery’s, but they should be here any minute. I missed you, kitty.”

Adam kissed her forehead and looked at her sweetly. It was clear he loved and cared about his little sister. But as soon as his eyes reached Matthew, his whole face changed. 

- “And who is this?”  

- “This is my boyfriend, Matthew”- (Y/N) walked back to Gubler and held his hand- “He is awesome, so be nice, ok?”

- “Nice to meet you, Adam. (Y/N) talks so much about you. I was looking forward to meeting you”- Matthew shook his hand and smiled. 

- “Funny, she never mentioned you.”

- “Yeah,”- (Y/N) explained- “I wanted to give you guys a surprise, and I knew if I told you over the phone, you were going to stress out, so I thought it would be better if you just met him”

Her family nodded but didn’t look pretty convinced. 

- “I know you are all real apprehensive about (Y/N) having a new boyfriend, but I promise you, I’m nothing like her ex, and I wanna show you how much I care for her if you let me.”

Gubler was sincere and upfront. (Y/N)’s parents nodded, but her brother just crossed his arms and frowned.  

- “Adam, be nice”- she warned and grabbed her bag- “Let’s leave these in my room, Gub.”

- “You are not sharing rooms with a boy!”- her brother instantly replied, but she ignored him and walked upstairs. Matthew took the bags from her hands and followed her.

-

- “Sorry”- (Y/N) whispered and closed her eyes, embarrassed. Gubler left the bags on the floor of her room and walked towards her to hold her hands. 

- “Hey, it’s ok, they are just shocked,”- he whispered and smiled at her, trying his best to make her feel better. 

- “I would be shocked too if our daughter walks into our house and tells us she has been dating nearly a year with some guy I’ve never heard about.”

(Y/N) chuckled and sighed. The words “Our daughter” had been enough to make her forget everything that troubled her. The idea of a future with him was too sweet to worry about anything else. 

- “Now, back to what really matters here”- Gubler took a look around and pointed at the walls- “Did you have some kind of obsession with My Chemical Romance growing up, or is it just me?”

- “Eh… nope”- she simply answered and laughed. There were many posters of the band on every wall in that room. 

- “I don’t know, I’m getting the vibe you had a thing on that guy… he kinda looks like a vampire.”

- “Gerard? he was…”- (Y/N) made a pause and looked at the walls- “I had a little crush on him”

- “Little?”- Gubler raised an eyebrow

- “Yeah, just a little, nothing to worry about… I just wanted to marry him, that’s all.”- he chuckled and leaned in to kiss her.  

- “I guess you never know someone until you walk into their teenage room.”

Matthew was nervous, but he was never going to face it. He wanted to make a good impression, and he wanted (Y/N)’s parents to like him. He was in that relationship for the long run, and it was important for him to have her parent’s approval. And clearly, now her brother’s too.

-

- “So, Matthew, what do you do?”- Adam asked him as everybody gathered in the kitchen, drinking eggnog and setting the last few things for the Christmas dinner. 

- “I majored in film directing in New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts"- (Y/N) bit her lips and smiled. She was torn between feeling embarrassed and enjoying the moment.  

- “Film directing”- Adam looked at him and raised an eyebrow. 

- “Yeah, I always loved making movies and telling stories”- Gubler sipped his cup of coffee and smiled. 

- “But, do you have a regular job?”- Adam asked and raised an eyebrow- “Making movies doesn’t sound like a real job to me.”

- “Adam!”- (Y/N) looked at her brother with daggers in her eyes

- “What? I’m getting to know your boyfriend, isn’t that what you wanted?”

- “Yes, but you don’t have to be a dickhead”- the young woman walked a few steps closer to her brother and raised an eyebrow- I haven’t seen you in six months. Can you just be nice?”

Adam meant no harm, but he was worried. He had been the one his sister called after her ex-boyfriend hit her. He had been the one who took her out from that apartment, picked up her things, and took care of her. Of course, he was scared she might get hurt again. 

-

- “And where are you from?”- (Y/N)’s mom asked him as they all walked to the living room and sat down. 

- “Las Vegas,”- Matthew answered and smiled- “My family still lives there, and we visit as often as we can.”

- “So, you’ve met his family”- Mrs. (Y/L/N) looked at her daughter and raised an eyebrow, surprised. 

- “Yeah, they are the best! We spent Halloween with them this year. We took Matthew’s nephews trick and treating. It was really fun!”

Mrs. (Y/L/N) nodded and stared at the scene. Gubler was sitting next to her daughter, holding her hand and looking at her in honest and deep adoration. It was strange and shocking, but at the same time, she could feel he was a nice guy who loved her very much. And that was all she needed to know. 

Meanwhile, Mr. (Y/L/N) started asking Gubler questions about his family, school, and what he did for a living. 

- “Right now, I have an acting job.” 

- “Really?”- (Y/N)’s brother raised an eyebrow, surprised- “TV?”

- “Yeah.”

Adam was about to keep asking about it when his wife, Emma, walked in with their five-year-old twins.   

- “Aunt (Y/N)!!

- “Munchkins!”- the young woman opened her arms and hugged them at the same time as the kids held her legs tight, almost making her fall.

- “You are so big! why aren’t you two babies anymore?”

- “(Y/N)! hey”- Emma walked over and looked at her, but suddenly she just gasped. 

- “What?”- Adam asked, confused- “What is it?”

- “Oh shit!”- she nearly dropped the bag and wide opened her eyes, suddenly- “Why is Spencer Reid in our living room?”

Matthew looked at (Y/N), and neither of them knew what to do or say. So he just stood up and walked over to shake her hand. 

- “Hi, I’m Matthew, (Y/N)’s boyfriend.”

- “No freaking way!”- Emma whispered and held his hand, repeating a little slowlier- “No freaking way”. 

Adam looked at his wife and didn’t understand a word she was saying. His parents didn’t get what was going on, and (Y/N) just bit her lips, trying not to laugh. She never thought that could happen. 

- “I’m gonna put an eye on dinner…”- Mrs. (Y/L/N) said and stood up- “(Y/N), can you give me a hand?”

- “Sure mom”- she said and smiled at Gubler. He winked and watched her walking to the kitchen with her mom. Things were a little weirder than he thought. 

- “Ok, what was that?”

- “What was what, mom?

- “Emma nearly died when she saw Matthew. Why?”

- “‘Cos he is in a tv show and she recognized him, I think”- Mrs. (Y/L/N) looked at her and sighed.

- “Is he good with you?”

- “The best”

- “‘Cos he looks like he is a nice guy”

- “I swear, mom, he is the sweetest. He wanted to come and meet you to show you he is nothing like Bret”- (Y/N) held a bowl with roasted potatoes and smiled at her mother- “I love him”

- “You can tell… and he loves you too, especially if he is willing to put up with your brother”

- “Can you tell Adam to stop being an ass?”

- “I can tell him, but that won’t stop him”.

-

When (Y/N) walked to the dining room, she looked at her boyfriend, who was now sitting on the floor, doing magic tricks for her nephews. She felt her heart was about to burst, staring at the scene. The twins were laughing, and Gubler kept making pennies disappear in front of them. 

She couldn’t stop hearing his voice saying “our daughter” over and over again. It was a dream, and it was too soon to even think about it, but it felt so right. It made so much sense.

- “I like him”- her father’s voice took her from her thoughts and forced her to turn around

- “Really?”

- “Yeah… he’s good with kids, and it’s clear he loves you, that’s all I need to know”- he kissed the top of his daughter’s head and sighed. 

- “Your brother hates him though”

- “I kind of figured”

- “The fact Emma is drooling over him is not making things better”- (Y/N) looked at her father and just laughed.

- “Are you kidding me?”

- “No, he took her upstairs to cool her off”

- “Shit… well, it could be worst” 

- “How?”- she looked at her father in silence

- “Well… Adam hasn’t tried to kick him out”

- “Yet”- Mr. (Y/L/N) chuckled at his own joke and shook his head- “Don’t worry peanuts, Matt is safe”. 

- “Actually, can you not call him Matt, please? bad memories.”

- “Sure, Matthew it is?”- she nodded and smiled. 

- “Thanks dad”

-

- “Dinner is ready”- Mrs. (Y/L/N) announced after half an hour. She walked to the living room where Adam, Matthew, and her husband were talking. 

Gubler was having a good time talking with Mr. (Y/L/N). He was fun and kept telling her funny stories about (Y/N). Adam was still a dick, but at least his father wasn’t paying him much attention, so neither did Gubler. 

- “This smells amazing”- Gubler said as he sat down next to (Y/N)- “I’m guessing this is Mrs. (Y/L/N) ’s signature turkey recipe. (Y/N) talked about it the whole way over.” 

- “She has the recipe, by the way, if you like it, she can cook it for you”- Mrs. (Y/L/N) smiled proudly.  

- “Yeah, just make sure she won’t burn down the house”- Adam joked and felt his sister’s angry eyes on him- “What? I’m making an aimless conversation. Isn’t that what you wanted?” 

- “Shut up”

- “She is a great baker”- Matthew continued talking- “She is actually making me gain weight in the latest months”

- “Sure, like you could get fat”- (Y/N) snorted and looked at her boyfriend

- “Hey, you are making me eat cinnamon rolls, cake, and cookies like three times a week”- Gubler chuckled and looked at her- “My pants almost don’t close”

- “So, Matthew”- Emma said suddenly- “How did you two meet?”

- “He actually said I smelled like cinnamon rolls the first time he met me”- (Y/N) smiled and looked at her sister in law.

- “We met at a party, her friend Ana is dating my friend Charlie. And when I saw her, I knew I had to talk to her ‘cos she has the most gorgeous smile I’ve ever seen”- Emma was nearly sighing at those words.

- “And did you recognize him?”- Adam was embarrassed by his wife’s questions, but he couldn’t stop her. 

- “No, I had never seen the show…”

- “And do you know the rest of the cast now? Do you hang out?”- Adam looked at Emma and frowned- “What? I’m just asking”

(Y/N) blushed and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and felt her boyfriend’s hand on hers, knowing what she was about to say. 

- “So, we are here today because I wanted you to know Matthew. He is the best guy on earth, and he makes me happy every day”- she made a pause and looked at him. 

- “You make me happy too, Bunny”- he whispered and smiled. 

- “Ok, so you are in love, is that what you wanted to tell us?”- Adam said with an annoyed voice.

- “No, we wanted to tell you we are moving in together.”

(Y/N) bit her lips after delivering the news. Her parents looked at each other but didn’t seem mad, just surprised. Adam, on the other hand, frowned immediately. 

- “Before you start freaking out and yell at me,”- Matthew said with a soft voice- “I need you to know and understand how much I love your sister, and I would never hurt her in any way. Never.”

Her family looked at him in silence. Her father nodded and smiled. 

- “It’s clear you are a good guy, Matthew,”- he said, and (Y/N) sighed, feeling relieved to hear those words- “And I know you understand we will always be a little scared something bad might happen to our baby again.”

- “I completely understand. I just want you to know I will never hurt her. I love her, I wanna live with her. I’m here for the long run, and I wish you could all give me a chance”. 

(Y/N) felt like crying when she heard those words. Matthew was telling her family how much he loved her. He was showing them he wanted to be with her. Nothing could be better than that. 

- “And have you thought about where you’ll live?”- her mother asked, smiling.

- “I recently bought a house,”- Matthew explained- “We are planning to move in after the holidays. Meanwhile, we’ve been busy getting a few things we needed”- he looked so happy, no one could doubt he was excited with the plans. 

- “Listen”- no one but Adam, apparently- “If anything happens to my sister, I’m gonna hunt you, I will find you, and I will make you pay.” 

- “Adam…”- she tried to argue, but Gubler smiled at her and nodded

- “I know there is nothing I can say that will make you believe me, so I will just ask you to give me the chance to show you how much I love her.”- but Adam didn’t say a word. 

- “I know what happened to her was awful, and I know you don’t want anyone hurting her, but that’s not what I wanna do. I just wanna make her happy. If she wants me to.”

Adam looked at his sister, who had tears in her eyes. He couldn’t bear to see her cry, though those weren’t sad tears. She looked at Matthew, and he smiled at her, wiping the tears from her cheeks and kissing her lips sweetly for a second. He whispered, “I love you,” and she giggled. 

- “Oh come on!”- Mr. (Y/L/N)- “Even I can see he loves your sister! stop being a dick and be happy for them!”- Adam sighed at his father’s words and stood up.  

- “If you fuck it up, you are dead”- he said and reached out his hand to Gubler- “But I trust you won’t”- and Matthew quickly stood up and shook it. 

- “I know you just want to take care of her, and I completely understand that”

- “You are in family probation period.” 

(Y/N) smiled at her brother, and he winked at her. Finally, she sighed, relieved. 

- “I can’t believe you are gonna move in with Dr. Reid!!”- Emma almost shrieked

- “Please don’t”- Adam frowned and looked at his wife- “Don’t make this harder”

- “You are gonna have to watch the show with me, you are gonna love it. I swear you won’t be able to hate him once you know Reid”

(Y/N) looked at Matthew and whispered in his ear. 

- “Your family wasn’t embarrassing. Mine was. I’m sorry”- he nearly laughed at those words and shook his head. 

- “My friends are embarrassing if it counts”

- “Your friends are my friends, Gubler”

- “Fine, we have embarrassing friends, we are gonna have to live with it”

Gubler moved a little closer, and was ready to kiss her when Adam’s voice stopped him. 

- “Just don’t make out with my sister in front of me while you are on probation, dude!”

- “Sorry!”- Gubler nearly jumped on his chair, and (Y/N) chuckled- “Sorry!”. 

[tcm]

The Horror of Christmas By Jessica Pickens

“There'll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago,” goes the song “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” released in 1963. That Christmas song’s lyric may have left you scratching your head each time you hear it. Written by Edward Pola and George Wyle, the song looks back at old holiday traditions. Ghosts, goblins and creepy murderous tales are strictly relegated to Halloween, right? That’s how it stands today, at least. But in the Victorian era, telling ghost stories was part of the Christmas tradition.

The death and rebirth of a new year during the Winter Solstice seemed like an appropriate time for telling ghost stories. “Whenever five or six English-speaking people meet round a fire on Christmas Eve, they start telling each other ghost stories,” wrote author and humorist Jerome K. Jerome in Told After Supper (1891). “Nothing satisfies us on Christmas Eve but to hear each other tell authentic anecdotes about specters. It is a genial, festive season, and we love to muse upon graves, and dead bodies, and murders, and blood.”

Even while we don’t tell ghost stories today at Christmas, one ghost story is still one of the most beloved Christmas tales, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. But even when it was published in 1843, it was not the first, or last, paranormal story told about Christmas. While the tradition of sharing Christmas ghost stories died long before the dawn of film, it still found its way onto the screen:

A CHRISTMAS CAROL (’38 and ‘51) 

Ebenezer Scrooge is a bitter and mean old man who has no patience for humanity or happiness. On Christmas Eve, a series of ghosts visit Scrooge and take him on a journey of self-exploration. Scrooge revisits his past, present and future and is warned to change his ways before it’s too late.

Since first appearing in a short film in 1901, A CHRISTMAS CAROL has been retold on film and television numerous times for over 100 years. The story has even been retold by The Muppets and Mickey Mouse for family-friendly audiences. It has also been modernized into various time periods, with Scrooge-like characters portrayed by Bill Murray, Henry Winkler, Cicely Tyson, Matthew McConaughey, Vanessa Williams and Susan Lucci.

But there are still several, more faithful retellings of the Dickens novel, including the 1938 version, starring Reginald Owen, and the 1951 version, starring Alastair Sim as the main character.

Released by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, the 1938 version has a lighter and more joyful vibe. Owen’s Scrooge is more of a grump rather than entirely mean-spirited. He is almost immediately remorseful and says he loves Christmas while he’s with the Ghost of Christmas Present. Gene Lockhart plays Bob Cratchit as a cheerful man, despite having to work for a tyrannical boss. The 1951 version, made in England and released by Renown Pictures Corporation, is a darker telling of the Dickens story. Alastair Sim’s Scrooge is more brutish, cruel and dismissive to Bob Cratchit, played by Mervyn Johns. Johns plays Cratchit as a meeker and more browbeaten character.

Regardless of the films’ differences, the message of both versions is the same. The ghosts in A CHRISTMAS CAROL aren’t meant to frighten the audience but to encourage self-reflection. Scrooge isn’t just haunted by Jacob Marley and the three ghosts; memories of his past haunt him — that’s why he’s so bitter.

BEYOND TOMORROW (’40) 

On Christmas Eve, we meet three elderly businessmen: George Melton (Harry Carey), Allan Chadwick (C. Aubrey Smith) and Michael O’Brien (Charles Winninger). The three men live together and are old friends, but they all have very different pasts. George is a man of little faith and is business-focused with a dark past. Distinguished Allan has a military background and lost his only son in World War I. Michael is the most whimsical of the three.

On Christmas Eve, Michael has the idea that they throw three wallets out into the street to see if an honest person returns them. A young man and woman, Jean Lawrence (Jean Parker) and James Houston (Richard Carlson), return the wallets. Neither having a family to go to that night, they join the gentlemen — all becoming fast friends by the end of the night. As Jean and James fall in love, they become close friends with the three men. Tragedy strikes when all three men are killed in a plane crash, leaving money to the couple so they can marry. However, with the new wealth and publicity, James becomes a singing radio star, forgetting about Jean in favor of another woman. The three men's ghosts try to guide James away from the other woman and encourage Jean to fight for her love.

In this story, the past lives of the three men don’t affect them in life, but in death. Carey’s character, George, is sort of like Scrooge. It’s hinted that he has a dark past, which may involve another woman and murder. Also, in his old age, anything but money is foolish to him. In death, George’s friends warn him that all he has to do is feel sorry for his past, but George has no regrets, even if it means going “to the dark place.”

In contrast, the other two characters are rewarded in death. Smith’s character gets to see his son again, who comes to fetch him. His son tells him that heaven is anything he wants it to be. Charles Winninger’s character is reluctant to leave his friends on Earth because he wants to continue to help them. But before leaving for heaven, he is able to. Even in death, the ghosts have to do good deeds not only to help their friends who are still living but to allow them to rest in the great beyond.

While we may not still tell ghost stories around the fire, the holiday season closes another year, allowing us to reflect on past memories. Some memories may be good, and others may haunt us in a way. However, 2020 may haunt us forever.

[askaceattorney]

Turnabout Memories

Hello and hap’piraki, everyone!

(Whoa...  Déjà vu.)

Now that we’re finally nearing the end of this (*twitch, twitch*) year, and now that I’m preparing to step off this blog for a time, I’d like to take a moment to reminisce about all the ground we’ve covered since the day I first discovered the uniquely fun experience of Ask Ace Attorney.

It all began a few years ago when...

Oh, right -- this’ll probably be pretty lengthy, so I’ll continue below the cut.

It all began a few years ago when I discovered Ask Ace Attorney through a Google search.  I don’t remember most of the details, but when I first found out about a blog that attempts to bring video game characters to life through blog posts and the power of imagination, I thought the idea was both strange...and amazing.

I’d only recently started getting into Ace Attorney at the time (after seeing Matthew Taranto’s hilarious mashup between it and the Kirby series), so I decided to send in a few letters and see if they’d get an answer.  Sure enough, a few months later, I saw the first response to one of them!  It was a pretty exciting feeling, to say the least.

I’d share that letter response here, but unfortunately, it included my real name, so we’ll have to save it for later.  For now, here are a couple of the earliest ones from me: a deeply emotional one from Dahlia to Iris (a little far-fetched, maybe, but I CAN SEE IT HAPPENING, THE MOD), and a short, punny one from Moe to Phoenix.  Not surprisingly, I enjoyed seeing the characters react to them in ways I found believable as much as I enjoyed writing these and several other letters.  I knew the Mod (the only moderator here at the time) wasn’t affiliated with Capcom, but his character portrayals were spot-on each time, and my creative spark and love for Ace Attorney received some constant fuel for a while thanks to this blog.

And then...this happened.  For a brief moment, I thought about how fun it would be to see if I could do what the Mod had been doing for so long, but then I decided it’d probably be better to leave it in someone else’s hands.  Sure, I was a huge fan of Ace Attorney and its loveable characters, but did I really love them enough to pretend to be them on a hugely popular blog?  Naaah.

I went over the rest of that story once before, so I’ll just give a brief recap here: my friend the Modthorne won the audition to become the next de Modder, I asked her if I could join, and then it ended up just being me here, followed by Mods Paups, Kristoph, and Maya.  That’s the way we became the Ask Ace Attorney bunch.

So, when I first made my debut as the Commode Co-Mod, my only real strategy for answering letters was to emulate the Mod's style.  I honestly wondered if I could accurately portray so many different personalities in a believable way, but, with a few hiccups along the way, I somehow managed to pull it off to some degree.  I also started developing my own style and becoming less conscientious about how my portrayals looked (that definitely took some time, though), and worrying less about the blog’s popularity and overall performance review.  That, I believe, was a big part of what made both of those steadily rise over time, until we ended up reaching and surpassing 12,000 followers!  (I’m still geekin’ out about that one.)  Just relaxing and going with the flow made things a lot easier for me, and apparently helped Ask Ace Attorney reach its current level of popularity.  Something tells me that choice paid off in the end, and thank goodness.

I of course have to give credit to the popularity of Ace Attorney and its characters, as well as the Mod for giving me and the other moderators so much material to start off with, but I sure never expected my role in helping to build the Ace Attorney fandom’s strength and size to be quite this large.  Heck, just getting to create things for so many people is a huge honor, so...what can I say to that, except a huge thank you to Capcom and the Mod?

Don’t worry, I’ll get to thanking all of you in just a moment.  ; )

So, anyway, that’s all the general stuff.  Let’s talk about the highlights of the last three years, now, shall we?

My first holiday-related post was an April Fool’s Day one, so let’s start there.  We came close to hearing about Phoenix’s lawyer camp incident...

...gave a few of the characters a chance to ask some questions of their own...

...had a little run-in with some of the bad guys...

...and briefly opened the window into some characters’ minds.

We sure didn’t fool around when it came to fooling around, did we?

Then there was Halloween.  We dealt with a creeper in the darkness...

...let one of the lesser-known characters go on a brief venture beyond the fourth wall...

...let some characters switch outfits and personalities for a short while...

...and paid homage to a classic interactive cartoon by letting them give out candy.

We sure had our fill of sweets and spooks, didn’t we?

And then there was Christmas, which included some of my favorite content.  We enjoyed a musical performance by several members of the Ace Attorney cast...

...a less flattering musical performance by yours truly...

...a short play taking place in Pearls’s dreams...

...and a fan-made song parody about a non-canon (but believable) incident involving Phoenix and a reindeer.

(Sorry if that image cursed anyone for life, by the way.)

I don’t know about you, but I loved every bit of our holiday hijinks.

And of course, we can’t leave out some of the great moments that occurred on non-holidays, including Her Benevolence falling victim to a classic comedy gag...

...Pearls meeting herself from a different time period somehow...

...Apollo taking a trip to the Pokemon world in his dreams...

...Athena getting tricked into thinking she had passed on briefly...

...Trucy getting caught red-handed by Arnold Schwarzenegger himself...

...and, uh...this thing happening to Iris.

No idea what I was thinking back then.  Sometimes you just have to go with the moment.

Not to mention one letter response that received an unexpected explosion of popularity.  Edgeworth always did know how to drop a sass bomb, didn’t he?  And one moment I’ll likely never forget is the letter regarding Athena’s hair.  For the record, I thought the shorter hairstyle looked okay, but somehow I didn’t think she would feel the same way.  Make of that what you will.  X )

Of course, it wasn’t all fun times and laughter -- I ended up stepping on some toes by accident, making a few jokes in bad taste, struggling to keep a balance between blogging and the real world, and...well...

...that happened.  I don’t regret a moment of it, though, because if Ace Attorney (and life) have taught me anything, it’s that powering through the less enjoyable moments in life is what makes us stronger, and what makes the good times that much more enjoyable.

But out of all the fun, hilarious, thought-provoking, and deeply touching moments that stood out in the last three years of blogging, the one I would say I enjoyed the most is this one.  It was my first attempt at responding to a letter in character (with one of the biggest “characters” in the series, no less), but, as with many of my letter responses, it also included some of me in it -- specifically, the part where Athena tries to sound optimistic, but not too prideful.  That was the sort of attitude I wanted to have whenever I answered letters -- I wanted to keep the fun and creativity of Ace Attorney and its characters going without injecting too much of myself into it.  The series wasn’t mine, after all, and neither was the blog, so my main goal was simply to sound like the characters.

And with that in mind, let me just say this: If any of these letters (even one of them) have made you smile or laugh on an unpleasant day, made you think about things from a different perspective, or simply helped you suspend your disbelief for a moment and believe you’re actually talking to someone from a video game, then my goal has been reached.

Anyway, I didn’t mean for this to be my goodbye speech (I’m saving that for later).  What it is is a sincere thank you for the fun and creativity that I and the rest of the moderators were able to engage in with all of you, thanks to our shared love of Ace Attorney, its characters, and its unique humor and depth.  Every last piece of witty dialogue, every picture, every song, and every custom sprite (the last of which can be found here), was inspired by your creativity and willingness to participate in this imaginative collaboration work.

I hope you’ve enjoyed it at least half as much as I have.  You guys are awesome.

-The Co-Mod

[babygirlwolverine]

2. what would you name your future kids? 3. do you miss anyone? 4. what are you looking forward to? 5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? 9. who did you last see in person? 10. are you good at hiding your feelings? 11. are you listening to music right now? 29. favourite film(s) 30. favourite tv show(s) 31. 3 random facts 39. favourite sport(s) 40. favourite memory 45. how you found out about your idol 50. favourite picture of your idol 58. description of your best friend

Omg thank you so much for asking so many questions, babe! You’re the swetest! This made me so happy seeing so my questions omg! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

2) For a girl, I’m obsessed with the name Claire! And for a boy, I really like Matthew, or Matt for short.

3) Yes, I do. I had an old friend called Candice and she was one of those friends I could talk to for days on end and then we’d get busy for a couple weeks and then start talking again as if no time had passed. I miss some of my friends from high school because I live in a different state now and I don’t get to see them very often- specifically two friends who I was mega close with and had tons of classes with.

4) My family is moving back to Texas part-time in August. My parents sold their vacation home in Colorado and are moving part-time back to our old hometown in Texas. That city is home in my eyes because it’s where I grew up and I miss it so much. I get homesick for there often, so I’m really looking forward to helping them move and to get to be back in my old hometown!

5) There’s several people that can always make me smile. My sister, my mum, @hello-x-sunshine, @curly-cue-scamp, and @bibelphegor!

9) I live with my family, so I don’t know if they count? But outside of my family, it was my best friend in Texas and her name is Emily. I saw her before the pandemic got bad, and I cannot wait to see her again when things are safer. We’ve known each other for 8 years and she’s just the most accepting and amazing person in the world.

10) Yes, I’m actually really good at hiding my feelings. People definitely have to work hard to get me to open up about my feelings, because I put up walls and protect myself by keeping my own feelings quiet and instead put others first and prioritize others over me.

11) Nope, I’m actually sat watching Avengers: Infinity War right now.

29) I have a million favorite movies. My top two favorites are Iron Man and The Mummy (1999)!

30) I have a million favorite shows, too. Right now, my top 3 are Supernatural, Roswell New Mexico, and Good Trouble.

31) Hmmm, okay. (1) When I took my dog to the Vet Clinic for a vaccine a few weeks ago, the doctor we use actually knows my family and he knows I’m a vet student and he actually handed me the vaccine and let me draw it up and let me vaccinate my own dog, which was like a massive deal for me and made me feel respected as a training veterinarian! (2) I love love love sharks and will literally go all heart eyes if someone talks to me about sharks like I could talk about sharks all day. (3) I'm always cold and literally always walk around wearing a jacket, even though I live in the desert. It can be 120 outside and I'm still wearing my comfy jackets.

39) Favorite sport to watch is football- once a Dallas Cowboys fan, always a Dallas Cowboys fan. As a kid, my favorite sport to participate in was swimming/diving.

40) The day I got accepted to vet school. Hands down best memory. I’d been stressing so badly after my interview and it took 5 weeks to hear because I interviewed on Halloween so the admissions office closed for Thanksgiving which delayed decisions. The one day I stopped stressing and went Christmas shopping with my momma, I got the acceptance. I’ve never been happier because it literally was a dream come true.

45) My idol is Robert Downey Jr.. I found out about him from watching Iron Man. He’s my idol because of how far he’s come. Like he has a very obvious bad past and did a lot of bad shit. But he completely turned his life around. He’s a hero. He’s caring and compassionate and funny. He never takes himself too seriously, yet he still has a serious side. And he uses his money for good things like technological advances and for providing care for others. In my eyes, he’s a real life hero, but also he’s the biggest pillar of redemption and proof no matter how low you get in life and no matter how bad things get, you can get back up and be the best version of yourself.

50) I’m cheating here and putting my 3 favorite pictures of RDJ that I have on my phone because I can’t pick just one!

58) I’m gonna describe my best friend Emily. She’s literally 8 days older than me. She’s half Mexican, half American. She’s artistic as hell. I mean there’s nothing artistic she can’t start and learn how to do within a few hours. She’s supportive and understanding and compassionate. She’s funny and caring. She’s helped me with my anxiety and I’ve helped her with hers. She’s picked me up at my worst times, and she knows me well enough to know when I’m struggling and what I’m struggling with. She’s good with kids and good with animals. She’s smart in ways I wish I was. She’s so close with her family, and she actually fits in really well with mine too. We contrast each other really well, and at the same time we’re more similar than I ever thought possible.

[flvcr]

ᴡᴇꜱᴛᴍᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴀꜱᴋ ₀₀₁ : ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ꜱᴜʀᴠᴇʏ

𝙬 / 𝙚𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙣𝙚 𝙛𝙡𝙪𝙤𝙧

ᴀɴꜱᴡᴇʀᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴇᴛɪᴇɴɴᴇ

when you think of westmere, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind?  

❝ i guess it’s more of a feeling for me ? this sense of warmth. it’s just bits and pieces engrained in my mind of those in town. it’s starting to feel like home for me ? i mean, i’ve moved around a lot, and although i think back on those cities fondly, this is a new one for me. ❞

have you read rw wallace’s books?  if you have, which ones your favorite?

❝  i’ve read through them all, mainly as a result of joining a book club in town - some a couple times more than the others. if i had to choose, i think my favorite one is secret identities. although i’ve marked up corruption and creation a bunch, that one’s pretty solid. i read the first when i moved to new york, and then once i discovered it was inspired by westmere i knew i needed to come visit, and ever since it’s definitely lived up to the hype set in merelake. ❞

what spot is your favorite in town and why?  

❝ favorite ? hm, the gazebo, at night, is a bit surreal. there’s this bit of stillness for a moment that just seems to encompass the entire town, and the very next second the crickets are chirping, it’s almost like you can hear everything yet NOTHING all at the same time. ❞

if you were stranded at night, who’s the first person you’d call and why?

❝ @sebmeier​ . let’s just hope the poor sod isn’t standing beside me this time. oh, cause he’d put the pedal to the vettel. but if he’s with me, @mcttie​ - it’s a given. ❞

how often do you talk to your parents/family?

❝ we text here and there throughout the week, my parents and siblings alike. we have a family group chat, ha, um, but it’s nice. i call my mum on thursdays, we’ll facetime and have a proper meal together. if my siblings are visitng, or dad is around they’ll join too. ❞

how would your best friend describe you?  what about your worst enemy?

❝ probably in the same fashion - an ass that just won’t quit. i’m only kidding. perhaps more along the lines of me being a pain in the ass ? ❞

do you like celebrating birthdays?  what about holidays?

❝ birthdays ? hm, no, well not my own. i do enjoy gift giving though, and writing a card, so i guess i enjoy others birthdays. holidays, eh, it more so depends on the one. i enjoy halloween, that dream-like christmas bubble of time is a bit uncanny, and i’m a proper sucker for valentine’s day. all the others are a bit of a wash. no offense to the easter bunny and what not. ❞

do you believe in ghosts?  aliens?  are you a conspiracy theorist?

❝ ghosts ? definitely. growing up in montpellier, i could’ve sworn there was this girl that used to come and play with me, but a couple years back when i tried to explain her to my parents, they said they had no idea who i was describing. aliens? there’s absolutely no way we’re the highest form of life in this galaxy, if so, that’s awfully depressing. i guess you could say i’m a conspiracy theorist, i mean, i’m not sold on the ideology of lizard people quite yet, but i do often slip into the online void - some of those just ... click, y’know ? ❞

if you won the lottery, what’s the first thing you’d do?

❝ lately i’ve been thinking of designing some type of rec center filled with after school programs and an ice rink, of course. although, i don’t necessarily need to win the lottery to really set it in motion, i suppose. regardless, i think it’d be a bit exciting to develop a program that’d engage with the youth of westmere, it’s a bit shoddy now, but who knows ? maybe one day it’ll come together. ❞

is the glass half full or half empty?

❝ that all depends on what you’re putting into it, hm ? are you taking or giving ?  ❞

are you more at home in a room full of people or being alone?

❝ of course i enjoy spending time with others, but a room FULL of people sounds a bit nightmarish.  i read this thing about how you become the most like the five people you surround yourself with, but it makes me wonder, at what points are you ever truly yourself ? i figure you can only find out when you’re completely alone. ❞

are you someone who follows a routine every day or prefers the spontaneity of life?

❝ a mix of both ? during training and the hockey season, i think a routine is a bit easier to follow. however, knowing i’m out for the season, i’m looking forward to the spontaneity of life here in westmere. ❞

do you want kids someday?  if you already have kids, would you want more?

❝ i haven’t really thought that far ahead. someday, maybe ? i do enjoy spending time with @salingcr​ and his rugrats, so why not ? yes ? ❞

what’s your go to karaoke song?

❝ runnin’ with the devil - van halen.  ❞

what throwback movie are you crossing your fingers that drive on by will show someday?

❝ meet joe black, although i’m not sure if they ever would due to the length of the film. ❞

what’s your favorite ice cream flavor down at ice queen & king?

❝ mint chocolate chip is a classic, but lately i’ve had a hankering for their mocha almond fudge. can never go wrong there. ❞

ᴀɴꜱᴡᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴇᴛɪᴇɴɴᴇ

if your character grew up in town explain what they think of town and why they still live here. 

— n/a.

if your character moved here at one point or another, explain what they were thinking when they moved.  was it their choice?  a parents?  how did they feel about moving? 

— after being gifted the first of rw wallace’s books while living in new york, etienne knew the town depicted in the story was a place that he desired to be a part of. so, once his lease was up, he opted to move to westmere, commuting to new york during hockey and training season. he’s enjoyed it ever since, definitely no regrets.

what is your character’s earliest memory?

— his earliest memory is from halloween when he was about four years of age. still living in montpellier, his parents took him and his siblings from business to business to do a bit of trick-or-treating, popping in and out of different store fronts asking for candy. that year his parents dressed him up as jason voorhes, finding it comical for his age.

is your character’s family big or small?  what is their relationship with their family like?

— etienne has two older siblings, each of them being two years apart. he and his siblings are very close, as well as his parents - they have a family group chat.  he definitely gets along with his mother the most, the two of them having a virtual dinner on a weekly basis.

is your character the type to have a lot of good friends or a few really close ones?

— etienne has both ?! a solid amount of good friends, and yet also a tight knit group that he feels that he can be a splash more expressive and vulnerable with when the time comes. he does make a point to insert himself in others’ lives, wanting to be there for truly anyone who may need / want him, but he sometimes finds it difficult for himself to open up to that connection.

what is your character’s life philosophy?  how do they see the world?

— with a deep appreciation and love for  matthew mcconaughey this video here basically is etienne’s philosophy / way he sees the world in a six minute nut shell. BUT taking things from it, etienne is very realistic and straight to the point - will tell you what’s wrong / what the problem even if it’s a little blunt and borders on the rude end of things. he just doesn’t think living in some delusional realm is the right move for any one by any means. he may come off having a superiority complex when one is asking for his advice, but it’s just cause at the end of the day he thinks he’s being honest / right and by all means helpful, even if the other person doesn’t want to acknowledge it. aside from that, he has a deep appreciation for all forms of life, the earth included - just treating peeps with kindness and the like !!

what are some goals that your character has?

— in regards to his hockey career, he’d like to be awarded the nhl foundation award. fingers crossed he’ll be cleared to return in the following season if all goes well with his recovery, bc he really wants to go into the playoffs and win the stanley cup. he is also hoping to attend the winter olympics in beijing in 2022. 

what does a typical day in the life of your character look like?  

— a typical day, as of late, for etienne consists of him waking up a touch on the early side to a freshly made pot of coffee, then followed by taking olive on a walk/run around town. after that he will shower, make a bit of breakfast, perhaps check on seb’s chickens ( just to be safe ) and then spend the day either reading or working in his makeshift studio. he enjoys the throwback days offered down at movie magic, so he’ll drop in to watch whatever film is being shown. otherwise, he’s likely with friends - doing whatever can be done in the day. 

what does your characters house/room look like?  is it messy & cluttered or is it neat & organized?

— for a visual, click here ! his house and room altogether are rather neat and organized. if things are  messy, even in the slightest, it’s an indication that something is wrong. he lives with sebastian, and with seb also being rather tidy, the two never have any issues, nor really any conflicting design ideas throughout the home.

what does your character’s typical wardrobe consist of?

— for an overall visual, click here ! etienne enjoys dressing up, give him a lil sweater vest and he’s beaming - he likes to look sharp, and a bit on the clean cut side. he can be a bit adventurous with his wardrobe, but definitely loves a splash of color. on the other side he his more casual looks are a jeans ( flare, skinny, cord ?! the options are endless ), a fun lil graphic tee to spice things up ( he prefers the more ridiculous ones ), and a jacket ?! he’s looking sharp, def won’t be wearing the same thing twice.

what’s a quote that describes your character?

— “ It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. ” ― Theodore Roosevelt

why did you choose your character’s song?  

— etienne has wide range of music taste, having bounced around growing up, he’s had various influences and exposures when it comes to what he enjoys listening to when he’s on his own. he really took a nose dive into rock music when he was practicing and developing his hockey skills - enjoy being on the ice and listening to / mentally playing back a power guitar riff doing a game. overall, rock music is the genre that he finds the most “ fun “ and he can be caught, embarrassingly so, doing his own little variations of air guitar. but he really fell in love with eddie van halen and truly believes he’s one of the best guitarists of all time, so van halen is one of his fav karaoke songs - not only to sing, but to simply act out.

[thenightling]

Films and shows to get you ready for Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman

Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman is getting adapted into a series by Netflix.   Though this is a DC comics property, The Sandman is NOT like Batman, Superman, or Wonder Woman.  The Sandman is a gorgeous and surreal fantasy that only partially takes place in the human world.  A big part of it takes place in the fantasy realm known as The Dreaming. 

There is very little combat action though there is horror.   To give you an idea of what you are in for (Or if you are a Sandman fan already and want something to hold you off) here are twenty-five films and shows that share some of the traits (or atmosphere) you might find in Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman.

25.   The Raven (1963 film).  This might seem like an oddball one to list since it’s a Gothic Horror fantasy comedy from the 1960s but it gets referenced in The Sandman by Matthew imitating Peter Lorre and later Matthew compared Cain to Vincent Price.  I think it’s safe to say Matthew was a Price (or Roger Coman) fan.  

24.   Death.   Death is a short animated film from DC and was featured as bonus content for the Blu Ray of the animated movie Wonder Woman: Bloodlines. 

Though she looks younger (appearing about nineteen-years-old) Death is the older sister of Morpheus AKA Dream of The Endless, the main protagonist of The Sandman.  She was first introduced in The Sandman issue 8, The Sound of Her Wings.

23.   Stardust.

Stardust is a fantasy film based on the novel (and graphic novel) by Neil Gaiman.  Though there are liberties taken, this should give you some idea of what his fantasy writing is like.

 22.    Beetlejuice the animated series. 

If you want an idea of what The Dreaming (realm of Dreams) is like then I urge you to check out the surreal Neither (that’s not a typo) World from the Beetlejuice animated series.  The monsters that inhabit this realm are the stuff of fantasy and nightmares.  Some are living puns.  And they are ruled over by a broody Goth who makes it rain when he’s depressed and feeling melodramatic, much like a certain Dream Lord from Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman...

21.  Bonus listing:   The Nightmare on Elm Street franchise.  

One major antagonist of Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman is a nightmare entity known as The Corinthian who escapes into the waking world and becomes a serial killer.  Had Sandman been adapted in the mid-90s I think many would have loved a crossover with Freddy Krueger.  

20.   Return to Oz.

If by some weird chance you have never seen The Wizard of Oz or any faithful (read: Not 2010) version of Alice in Wonderland I would recommend those first.  But under the assumption you may have already seen those I would suggest watching Return to Oz.   Return to Oz features an adorable Jack-o-lantern headed character called Jack Pumpkinhead.   Jack Pumpkinhead was the loose inspiration for the grounds keeper dream entity character of Mervyn Pumpkinhead in Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman.  

19. Tales from the Crypt (TV series).

Issue 2 of The Sandman is called Imperfect Hosts because all of the characters introduced in that issue are former horror host characters from horror anthology comics.  Cain and Abel were DC’s answer to The Crypt keeper and The Vault Keeper.  For a good idea of who Cain actually is (assuming he’s in the show along with his House of Mystery) I strongly recommend checking out the TV show Tales from the Crypt.  

18.   Tales from the Cryptkeeper (animated series)

In the mid-1990s there was an animated series adaptation of Tales from the Crypt called Tales from the Cryptkeeper.  Season 2 featured the three original EC comics horror hosts of the Cryptkeeper, Vault Keeper, and the Old Witch.  These storytellers might give you an idea of who (or what) some of Morpheus’ Nightmare minion are in The Sandman.

 17.    Hocus Pcous.  

I chose to put this one here because the three witches of Hocus Pocus very much remind me of the Hecatae version of The Three-in-one from The Sandman Issue 2.   There’s also a powerful Grimoire that is a plot catalyst. 

16.   The 10th Kingdom.

The 10th Kingdom was a fantasy mini-series that aired on NBC in 2000.   It dealt with a twenty-seven-year-old young woman who discovers that her estranged mother is the evil queen in a faery tale world.   It is very much a story about stories (much like parts of The Sandman) and shows you the original dark and unvarnished versions of some classic faery tales as well as how those characters (and their descendants) carry on centuries later.

15.   Once Upon a Time (TV series.  Particularly seasons 1 through 3.)  

Much like with 10th Kingdom we have here a story about stories and those characters from classic stories trying to live in the human world with varying degrees of success.  You see how important their stories are and how carefully and intricately each tale was interwoven with each other.  (...Until around season 4 that is...)

Also it begins with a very powerful creature imprisoned and later undergoing an extremely long redemption arc and a sense of guilt tied to the death of his own son.

14.  Constantine:  City of Demons.

John Constantine appears in one issue of Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman.   Issue 3.   Constantine: City of Demons gives a good crash course on who Constantine is and where he comes from.  John Constantine’s ancestor, Johanna Constantine is a recurring character in The Sandman.

13.  Justice League: Dark animated movie.   

Justice League:  Dark is the first animated movie to feature The House of Mystery.  The House of Mystery is a building whose roots are in The Dreaming in The Sandman.

12.   Constantine (2014 series).  

 In 2014 Constantine got his own live action series but it only lasted for one season. 

11.  Locke and Key.

Only recently did I learn Locke and Key will be doing an official crossover with The Sandman Universe.

 10.    Lucifer TV series.  

The TV show Lucifer is an oddball thing since it was based on a comic that is actually a spin-off of The Sandman.  The storyline that introduces us to Mazikeen, where Lucifer quits ruling Hell, opens Lux, and takes up playing Piano all come from Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman.

When Fox got the rights to Lucifer no one thought The Sandman was going to be getting an adaptation, at least not in the near future.  As a result several conversations and key pieces of dialogue that originally passed between Morpheus and Lucifer in The Sandman comics now went to Lucifer and his therapist, Linda, and his angel-brother, Amenadiel. 

Bonus: If at all possible check out the Crisis on infinite Earths event from the CW as the real Crisis on Infinite Earths (original comic event) eventually gave way to things like The Sandman.

9.   The Witches (1990) and Coraline (2009)   I couldn’t decide which one to put here so I put them both.

  The Witches is a children’s horror film based on the book by Roald Dahl. I suggest this here for its darker themes and you get a group of dangerous, child-killing witches attending a meeting at a hotel, much like The Corinthian’s Serial Killer convention in The Sandman.

Coraline is a stop motion fantasy / horror story for children and can give you some idea of what certain aspects of The Sandman are like, as it is by the same author.

8.    Pan’s Labyrinth.  

The Sandman is very much part fantasy and part Gothic horror and no director alive quite fits that criteria now better than Guillermo del Toro and possibly Tim Burton.   Pan’s Labyrinth has the surreal beauty and darkness you are likely to see in The Sandman.

7.   Doom Patrol.

Doom Patrol was the first DC show that made me have faith that yes, they CAN adapt Sandman respectfully and unafraid of the strangeness it might entail.  Doom Patrol seemed unafraid to tackle the strange, quirkiness of it’s own content.  From a talking roach, to gender-queer sentient street named Danny, Doom Patrol was not afraid to be strange.  

6.   Swam Thing (2019 TV series from DC Universe Streaming Service).

I mostly suggest this for one character in particular. Matthew Cable.  After Matthew died in The Sandman comics he chose to spend his afterlife as Morpheus’ raven.

Besides featuring a character from The Sandman Swamp Thing gives a very good Gothic atmosphere and supernatural content, giving you an idea of the sort of horror DC can do.  

6.  Justice League Action:   Trick or Threat.   And Justice League action: Supernatural adventures in Babysitting.

The episode of Justice League Action called Trick or Threat features Cain, a nightmare character from Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman, as well as The House of Mystery.   This was Cain’s first appearance in media.  The version of Cain in the TV show Lucifer is nothing like his comic book counterpart.  This cartoon is the first and only faithful adaptation of the character from the comics.

The episode of Justice League Action called Supernatural Adventures in Babysitting features the Magdalene Grimoire. This is the grimoire used to summon Morpheus in Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman.  It also features John Constantine.

    5.   She-Creature:  The Mermaid Chronicles (2001 film)

This is an odd from about some humans have a captured mermaid.  The majority of the film is about her escape and revenge on her captors.  You will see something similar to that with Morpheus in the very first episode of Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman.    

4.  The Company of Wolves. 

The Company of Wolves is a story about stories.  In the ontemporary world a pubescent girl sleeps during her first period. She dreams that she is Little Red Riding Hood and her grandmother tells her horrific stories about werewolves.  The wolves become metaphors For puberty, masculinity, and waking sexuality.  Toward the end Rosealeen (the protagonist) becomes one of the wolves.   You get random stark reminders that this entire film is set in a dream world, and yet it’s still strangely easy to forget.

 3.   The Nightmare before Christmas.

The Nightmare before Christmas is a fantasy musical about the king of Halloween.  Though he’s adored by his subjects he longs for more.  The surreal landscape and strange creatures can be reminiscent of The Sandman.

2.   Labyrinth.

One of the earliest efforts to talk me into reading The Sandman entailed someone telling me that Morpheus was “Like a Goth Jareth.”   This effort (at the time) failed to entice me though I do love Labyrinth.   

1.   Over The Garden Wall. 

I only saw Over the Garden Wall for the first time about a year and a half ago and loved it very much.   This is a strange animated mini-series about two brothers lost in a forest called “The Unknown.”   The setting has been debated among fans as to if it’s purgatory (a place between life and death), a dream realm, or something else entirely.  I choose to believe that though it may be a place between life and Death that it’s also a part of The Dreaming, especially with so many surreal and Gothic visuals, and characters and creatures directly out of vintage seasonal cards.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Anywhere You Go

Characters: A. J. Cook x Reader (platonic)

Word Count: 1,486

Warnings: fluff

Summary: A.J. offers you a proposition that you can’t refuse.

Author’s Note: If you have any requests, please send them in! this is unbeta’d and every mistake is all on me.

This is the December 5th fic for my 25 days of RPF Christmas with the prompt: “I don’t want to just see you once a year”

Feedback the glue that holds my writing together

Tags at the bottom

“Two hot chocolates for Y/N,” the barista announces. You get up from your seat and walk over to her to accept the drinks. After giving her a smile, you walk back over to your table and take a seat. Any minute now, your best friend A.J. Cook is going to walk through the double glass doors. It’s been about a year since you last saw her, and you’re so excited to see her now.

Every year, she makes it her priority to visit her family for the holidays. Christmas is the only holiday she won’t miss with them because it’s too big of a holiday to miss. Luckily for you, your family is such great friends with hers, which means you can also see her and spend time with her. When she’s not with family, she’s all around the world filming for either Criminal Minds, a new unnamed film she’s starring in, and doing interviews for those things.

You couldn’t be more proud of her, but you really miss her. Sure, you two talk on the phone at least six times a week, and you Facetime, but it’s not the same as actually being there. You two grew up side by side your entire life, so when her career started to kick off, everything changed. You’re not susceptible to change since it scares the shit out of you, and her moving away almost took the life out of you. You two did everything together and going from that to now, it’s been really hard for you. Of course, you never told her any of this because you didn’t want her to feel guilty for living her life and doing what she loves.

You always knew she would make it in show business because she couldn’t stop performing growing up. When you turned ten, she was the entertainment that provided a one-woman show she created on her own. Everyone absolutely loved her, and even though it took the attention off of you, you were so happy for her.

When you two were sophomores in high school, you came down with the nasty flu that stayed with you for weeks. A.J. didn’t like going to school without you, so she faked an illness just to stay home with you. You thought it was never going to work, but she convinced her parents with her phenomenal acting skills that she was truly sick. It was when your parents caught her bringing food up to you that they called her parents and told them what was going on.

In senior year, she landed the lead in the school’s production of Alice in Wonderland. She stole the show with her big smile, bright blue eyes, and innocent front that she showcased. Everyone loved her, and it was the production that set her career off. An agent was in the audience and watched her perform, giving her his card. The first semester of college without her was hard since she was busy doing auditions and filming commercials to add stuff to her resume.

Every time a new movie or show of hers came out, she’d invite you to the premiere, but she would be so busy with interviewers and her costars, that you kind of hung in the back. You’re so proud of her, but you wish she would take a step back and realize how much this is affecting you. Maybe you can convince her to take some time off if you tell her all the things she’s missed since you last saw her.

The door to the cafe rings and your best friend walks in. She looks around for you, and as soon as you two make eye contact, you’re both squealing and hugging each other tightly.

“I missed you so much!” she grins.

“I miss you more,” you chuckle and offer her the seat across from you. “I got you a hot chocolate.”

“With a dash of mint in there?”

“Do I ever forget?” you smile.

“How have you been? It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other,” she says and takes a sip of her drink.

“Too long, actually. Well, Garrett broke his arm and will be in a cast for the next few months.”

“What did your brother do this time,” she rolls her eyes playfully.

“He jumped off the roof and did a backflip into the pool. He didn't hurt his head or anything like that, just broke his arm. I swear, that boy gets dumber with age,” you laugh.

“At my work’s Halloween party, someone almost caught the snack table on fire. I keep telling them that having the pumpkins with candles inside next to the table is a bad idea, and now hopefully they’ll listen. Everyone started freaking out, and we had two guys dressed up as Spongebob and Patrick running around and freaking everybody out. I swear I don’t think I laughed as much as I did then.

“Oh, and your sister was just about to give birth in the backseat of your mom’s car on the way to the hospital.”

“What? No one told me that,” she says in disappointment.

“Yeah, your nephew wanted to come out right there and then, and we had to try and help her hold him in long enough. He basically popped out with the first push. It was gross, but he’s so cute,” you coo.

“I missed a lot of stuff,” she sighs.

“More things happened, but those are the main ones. What about you? What have you been doing this past year?” you ask. By the look on her face, you can tell she misses home. You can see the jealousy in her eyes that you got to experience all of this while she was away. However, she tries to push that down to tell her stories.

“First, I’m kind of sad that Criminal Minds is ending. I don’t think I’ll find a better cast then them. The last season comes out in January, and I know everyone is going to really like it.”

“Are we finally going to get answers on the relationship between Spencer and JJ? That confession was a big one.”

“It will be answered, yes. But I’m not saying anything else.”

“Fine, what else happened?” you ask, taking a huge sip of your drink.

“The movie I’m in now is just amazing, and the cast and I have this ongoing bet to see how and when our director will break the news to one of the editors. She’s pregnant, and she’s married to the editor guy. Me and a few of the guys think she’s going to wait until he figures it out for himself, but then a few other people think--”

“I don’t want to just see you once a year,” you blurt, effectively cutting her off.

“What?” she asks, her voice soft.

“I’m sorry. I miss you too damn much, Andrea. You only come down for Christmas, but then you leave like we’re nothing to you. I really wanted you there at my work’s Halloween party. I may work from home, but we all like to gather for the important holidays to get together and go over what we’ve been working on. That party was not fun without you. You’re my best friend, and I want to see you more often. Take a break, please, and come home.”

“Y/N, I miss you too. More than you think. You don’t think I want to come home and be with family? I want to so much, but I’m working on a film, and then there are interviews, and I have another project when this movie ends. I really wish I could stay,” she sighs.

“And I wish I could go with you. I don’t like being away from you all year. I want more than a few weeks with you.”

“Then come with me.”

“What?”

“You work from home, so I don’t see why you can’t work from my set. Come with me when Christmas is over. We don’t have to be apart any longer. It can be a whole new chapter for us. You can meet the cast, and I’ll introduce you to Matthew,” she sings at the end. Damn my silly crush on the elusive Dr. Reid.

“Well, if it’s for Matthew, then sure,” you joke, and she gives you a playful glare. “Do you really think this can work?”

“Yeah, when I’m filming, you can do your work, and then afterward, we can hang like we used to. I miss us.”

“I miss us too,” you smile.

“So, what do you say?”

“I’ll go with you,” you grin.

“Yay! I’m so glad! Oh, this is going to be so much fun! You’re going to love New York.”

“We’re going to New York?”

“And many more places. We’re going to have so much fun.”

“Yeah, we will. It’s us against the world.”

“Forever and Always,” she finishes.

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[let-it-raines]

Indirect Deposit Extra

So, here's about 2,200 words of extra to Indirect deposit (AO3 | Tumblr) that is literally of Killian having to take his kid to one of his lectures. That’s it. That’s the story. It’s for @thejollyroger-writer and @captainsjedi because right when I finished the story they told me that they absolutely had to have this. I mean, those might not have been their exact words, but that was the gist. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this little drabble!

“Um, Dr, Jones, can we ask why you have a baby strapped to your chest?”

“Ah,” he sighs, closing his eyes for a moment as he feels his daughter move in her wrap. When he looks down, Sienna is still sleeping, and he hopes it stays that way for the next hour and fifteen minutes even though she’ll likely wake to be fed. “So my wife is still on maternity leave and had to go into work unexpectedly today to deal with one of her cases. We don’t have a daycare for Sienna here yet because the one we used for our older daughter isn’t near our new place, and alas, I had to bring her with me. I hope you guys don’t mind.” “Can we see her?” Savannah asks, her face lighting up in the same way that half the class does while the others not so subtly roll their eyes. “She’s asleep right now, but I can show you some pictures.” He pulls his phone out of his pocket and mirrors it to the projector while he looks for some to show. It’s a bit of a dangerous game mirroring his phone to the screen. His pictures are likely fine, but he knows that somewhere in there are a few more risqué pictures of his wife and possibly a few family moments that he’d rather not share with his students. They’re private, precious, and he’s learned to treasure the memories, the one photographed or not. He missed two months of Sawyer’s life, and he is never missing anything again, especially now that he’s got three ladies who are the light of his entire world. “And don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing. No one ever cares about their professor’s personal life unless they want to waste time.” “Yeah, but you talk about your family a lot. We like them. And babies are cute.” “Until they scream.”

“Amen to that,” he laughs as he looks up to Luke in the back before clicking on a picture he took of Emma holding Sienna on Sunday while they played with Sawyer in the park. That’s far too many S’s, but he likes his daughters’ names. He only got to pick out one of them, but they’re perfect. The names, not the kids. He loves them, but the sunshine and roses of it all began to fade on about night thirty-four of wailing and refusing to eat.

Lights of his life.

And the people who keep him up at night.

Maybe he thinks they’re a little perfect.

But Emma looks so beautiful in this picture, her hair mixing in with the sunlight and emerald eyes actually shining, and she’s got this smile on her face...God, it’s a smile he loves so damn much. And Sienna looks so ecstatic to be outside even though she’s only ten weeks and doesn’t really know. Her blonde peach fuzz shines a little too. She doesn’t have nearly as much hair as Sawyer did when she was born, and if she did, it wouldn’t be nearly as bold. Genetics are so odd that his children could look so like he and Emma and so not like each other. Of course, he and Emma don’t exactly look alike. “So this is my wife, as you guys know, and this is Sienna Rose Jones. And yes, I realize she’s the cutest baby you’ll ever see, and if you say otherwise, I’ll fail you.”

“What about your other daughter?”

“She never hears a word of this, Mr. Ramirez,” he scoffs, rolling his eyes a bit at his favorite student if he were to have favorite students before switching to a picture of Sawyer in the middle of an attempt to get into Sienna’s crib. It was all fine, but Sawyer definitely was having a bit of an issue having another kid around for awhile, but she seems to have adjusted to it. Instead of showing that picture, though, he finds one of her when they went to a pumpkin patch two weeks ago. She’s in a blue jumper, one that brings out her eyes, and she has paint covering the red and white stripes of her long sleeved t-shirt underneath her. Her hair is long enough to need to be braided or pulled up every day, and Emma’s been teaching him how to braid hair in different ways. She says it’s for their kids. He knows it’s so that he can play with her hair since she enjoys that.

“This is Sawyer, my oldest,” he continues, tracing his finger over the picture. “We’d gone to a pumpkin patch and she got to paint a pumpkin. I believe it was supposed to be a minion, but really, all it did was get the paint all over her clothes.”

“How old is she now?”

“Three and a half, growing like a weed.”

“How’d you meet your wife?” Lola asks him, and he smiles to himself. They’re trying to distract him, and he’s going to fall into their trap. He’s in a good mood today, even with the chaos at home and Emma freaking out over a kid in one of her cases possibly having to go to foster care (he knows that’s why she went in, why he’s got his daughter strapped to his chest right now while his other is at her pre-school) if she didn’t go in and try to clear things out.

“So you guys really don’t want to read A Christmas Carol today?” His class groans, each and every one of them, and he stifles his laugh before looking down at Sienna to make sure she hasn’t woken up. He keeps waiting for it. She has to. There’s no way that he’s going to get away with having a quiet baby for his entire lecture. “Oh come on, you are all ridiculous. You’re university students who are reading a simple book because I wanted us to have a break before we delve into your essays.”

“It’s not even Halloween yet, Dr. Jones, and we’re reading a Christmas story.”

“Yeah, well, no offense to you all, but I won’t be teaching you all over winter break. I’d say you could come over to the apartment, but my wife would kill me.”

“The old ball and chain, yeah?”

“And five points docked off Brannon’s essay. I’d dock more, but, well, I believe it’s unethical. Plus, you are already screwed if you think that being married is some kind of torture where your wife controls what you do.”

His students quietly laugh, none of them wanting to get too much in Brannon’s face and all of them likely scared that he’ll dock points off of their essays too. He’s lax, but he does have his limits. Usually they’re academic. And he’s not going to dock the points, but Brannon doesn’t have to know that.

“So your wife?” Lola asks him again as she twists her hair up into a ponytail.

He clicks his tongue before looking down at his phone and immediately going to find a picture of Emma on their wedding day. No one would ever know that it was their wedding day from first glance, but he does. That’s what matters. Emma’s dressed in a pair of jeans and a pale pink blouse, the sleeves flowing off from the elbows. Her hair falls down in front of her, the slight waves draping over her shoulders and her chest. Her hair is wonderful, glorious even, and he’ll never quite be over it, even when it gets in his face when they’re sleeping or doing more enjoyable activities that have led to their children.

Well, child.

The other got here in a way that would make a damn good television show. Jane the Virgin kind of stole their thunder, though.

Not that he watches Jane the Virgin.

(He does.)

But in the picture Emma has this bright smile on her lips, one that takes up her entire face, and it’s just after they’d gotten married at the courthouse, Sawyer having a meltdown while the ceremony was being done. It had been a disaster, but it had been the best disaster of his life.

He wouldn’t change it for a thing.

“So this is my wife, Emma,” he starts, sitting down on his stool and adjusting Sienna. “You all know a lot about her from my stories, some of you have seen her pictures on my desk, more of you would if you showed up to my office hours, and if you’re lucky, you might get to see this beauty in person one day.��

“She’s far too pretty for you.”

“Matthew Ramirez, you are lucky I like you because you and Brannon are walking on thin ice. Except Brannon was wrong, and you’re right.” He kicks at a pull in the carpet, looking down at his loafers and making a note that he needs a new pair. Maybe for Christmas. “But anyways, Emma and I lived in the same apartment building. We were across the hall from each other and kind of knew each other, but it wasn’t until she lost her key and the landlord wasn’t available to let her in her apartment that we really began talking.”

He leaves out a lot of the truth when he tells this story to anyone that is not family, but it’s not because he’s somehow ashamed over how he and Emma became friends or how Sawyer was conceived. It’s because it’s personal, and he’d rather not have all of his students and then all of the people they speak to knowing a story that he wants to treasure with Emma. Their story is unconventional, but it’s theirs.

Some things should be kept private.

“She’s this spitfire who is as brilliant as she is gorgeous, as funny as she is kind, and as caring as she is cunning when she needs to be. And she’s not a ball and chain, Brannon. She’s by and large the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and I’m glad to be committed to her and my daughters for the rest of my days. Now, who wants to read some Dickens?”

His class goes as normal, even if his students never really settle after their distractions. It doesn’t help that Sienna wakes up with ten minutes left absolutely wailing, her face turning as red as a tomato. He tries everything short of feeding her right then, but when she doesn’t stop crying, he knows that’s what she needs. So with a sigh, he releases the class early, telling them to finish the book for the quiz on Tuesday. They groan, but it’s a short read. The quiz is to help them, not hurt them, but college students, like toddlers and newborns, often whine without much reason.

Well, there’s a reason, but sometimes it’s simply that they don’t like something.

He takes Sienna to his office to feed her before packing up all of his things (plus an extra diaper bag that weighs more than the actual baby) and loading up in the car to go home. When he opens the front door to the apartment, he’s greeted with the sound of Sawyer belting out the words to the PJ Masks theme song and Emma joining along with her, her voice a little more soothing. There are toys all over the floor despite him cleaning on Sunday, but honestly, he doesn’t care. This is his life, one he stumbled into and then chose for himself, and despite – or maybe because of – every single bump (pregnancy bumps included) in the road, he can’t imagine his life going any other way.

“Sawyer, I think someone is home who needs a big hug,” Emma prods, poking Sawyer in the back until she turns and looks at the door, her eyes blowing wide before she drops the toy microphone she was holding to run toward him, jumping on his leg at the same time that he puts Sienna’s car seat down.

That will never get old. Ever.

“Daddy,” she yells, laughing as he scoops her up and covers her face in his many tickly kisses (her words, not his) as he can. “I went to school today.”

“That is very impressive, little love, but I’ll have you know that your sister is the youngest university student to ever exist in the Jones household, possibly the world.”

Sawyer looks at him with her brows furrowed and lips pursed, like she doesn’t have any idea what he’s saying, and she doesn’t. He knows that she doesn’t, but Emma does. So he’ll get to talking to his daughter later, get to talking about things she actually understands, but first, he’s going to kiss the holy hell out of his wife so that their ten week old feels embarrassment.

If she’s going to be a university student at the place where her dad teaches, she’s going to need to be able to handle it.

[supernoondles]

2019

The last day of 2019 was also the day I fainted for the first time--a fitting metaphor for the year.

2019 was overall very emotionally taxing. This year was emotionally defined by falling intensely, deeply in love with someone (who is a very private person so I will try to be vague to respect that) and being in a lot of pain because of situations mostly outside of our control. There were a lot of intensely joyous moments, and a lot of intensely sad ones. Throughout it all I wish I had communicated better. I also made some bad decisions with another person I really loved and cared about that resulted in us growing apart. Do I think I grew from the experiences? For sure. Do I wish I could have come upon these realizations through a different course of action? Also yes. Am I fully healed from the experiences? Not really, but I've been getting better.

2019 was also very bad in terms of research. It was the 2nd year of my PhD. After I submitted my rotation project I basically felt stuck in the swamp of my advisors rejecting new project ideas for like literally half a year. This, combined with my high emotional volatility (partially due to starting birth control), made me really sad, unmotivated, and susceptible to self-blame. I definitely had high expectations for myself and became frustrated at my lack of progress and felt a lot of pressure from myself to get my shit together. I also felt incredibly bad after most advisor meetings and not supported by one of them to the point where I had to have a conversation with him about the lack of support (which was very scary)! Things started picking up, though, near the end of the year. I published a paper in collaboration with a former post-doc/now professor elsewhere whom I learned a lot from, and started finally building out another system. I also started mentoring an undergrad who at some point told me I helped him feel like he had something important to say and belong at Stanford for the first time and those words meant a lot to me. I think I'm continuing to refine what I value as research contributions and increasingly think about what it means to build systems that aren't used outside of the lab to satisfy the annual conference publishing cycle. I'm also starting to feel the pressure of doing work that follows a narrative rather than random projects that interest me.

Oh, I guess in terms of "program requirements," I did finish taking required classes, passed qualifying exams, and got a master's degree. But honestly those weren't hard at all nor do I think are externally valued in the larger research community, so I don't really celebrate them as accomplishments beyond surface level.

In 2019 I saw two different therapists. The first one was awful, I think directly influenced some of my bad decisions, and also didn't respect my gender identity??? The second one is a lot better and I'm grateful to see her, even if 90% of our sessions are just talking about my relationship (romantic/advisor) issues, which is something I want to move away from in the future. But I also feel incredibly privileged when relationship issues are the primary stressors in my life--I am grateful I feel equipped to handle other crap, like deadlines, and don't have to worry about my own health.

Those were the main things that have colored this year. We'll now move into the section of this post where I go through my photos to jog my memory of other events.

New years started a tradition of getting dim sum with Jasper, Matthew, and Michelle dear to my heart. My high school friend was also visiting and we all attended a really awesome new year's eve party. I was also going on a lot of dates and having a lot of good sex, which made me really happy, and at the same time crying all the time at work. In February I received probably the best gift anyone has ever given me and saw Panic! at the Disco, which I said in an end of the year group meeting was a good memory of my year (it was, to relive my scene days!). In March I roadtripped both to Marin (which I had never to been before, despite all my years in the bay) and LA for Wondercon; it was nice to both see high school friends and go on a trip with the boo. In April I went on a hike with my office which was probably the start of us all becoming closer (we are the social office in the wing now, which I take pride in! Also we draw a lot of Pokemon which warms my heart). In May I went to CHI in Glasgow and then to Paris afterward, and the entire experience was very weird and bad and also too many flights were canceled and/or missed and I vowed to not return to Europe for a while, but man do I love the noodles at Trois Fois plus de Piment. In June we hosted a double apartment party with my downstairs neighbors (side note: I am really appreciative of the place I live in, for the community, convenience, and large-ass space and will be really sad to be kicked out fall 2020) and I started a friendship important to me. I cat-sat for my advisor (the one who doesn't make me feel bad) twice. I went to Redwood State Park with my family and hosted a summer solstice celebration. Over the summer a friend I met in Paris back in 2017 moved in with me. I had a much needed escape from the bay to Seattle where I was reminded how abundant the world can be. I also went to Tahoe to celebrate my parents' anniversary, and really liked stumbling upon a smaller lake with a cheap boat rental. Then I became FOMO about the highly competitive Bay Area camping and did a last minute walk-in at Redwood Basin in Santa Cruz, which made me realize that I don't actually love camping (but was nice nonetheless). I ate an expensive meal at Commonwealth before they closed. For my birthday we made a friendship quilt and I served my favorite dish of cumin lamb but it was also 90 degrees in my apartment (I felt really bad and bought two fans afterwards). I started buying many cartoon frog plush after being gifted a $3.99 on sale Safeway frog (called Baby!). I went on Tinder dates (one of which was at a quaker yard sale marketed as Harvest Festival where I got a 1970s Kermit puppet for like $2) that largely went nowhere. My high school friend visited and we were both sad about break ups. I did Inktober before I went to New Orleans for a conference on Bourbon St where everything felt like it was coated in a sticky film of alcohol. I almost missed my flight home because I fell asleep in a sculpture garden but I had the most amazing Uber driver who snaked his way through traffic (oh and the flight was delayed by like 3 hours). I went to kind of embarrassing haunted houses and pumpkin patches over Halloween, but also had the most incredible bowl of ramen at Mensho. My whole office dressed up as Zootopia characters which warmed my furry heart. I spent like $120 on a Pokemon shirt. I started playing Arkham Horror and rekindled another friendship important to me. In November went on a road trip to Big Sur because again, I had to escape it all. For Christmas Eve dinner I roasted a duck for the first time (which was delicious). Shortly after I waited in line for 2 hours for a rollercoaster at Great America, which taught me the value of buying a fast pass because at this point in my life that money is worth it, and then waited 2 hours in line at the DMV to get a RealID (I had made an appointment, which was the fast pass).

Okay, now we move to the hobby section!

I got really into sewing in 2019, having received a sewing machine last Christmas. I made a Judy Hopps (which I wore to CrunchyRoll Expo) and Korok cosplay (Fanime), several unsuccessful garments, a crab bean bag, a dice bag, a fanny pack, and put hearts nipples on a jumpsuit.

Shows! I think I went to way fewer shows this year. The ones I can remember are Elephant Gym, Thom Yorke the night before I had an 8am flight, Carly Rae Jepsen over pride weekend (also, she is my #1 artist of the year, which makes a lot of sense given my emotional space), Mitski at Stern Grove, Capitol Hill Bloc Party (which was super lame, except for Lizzo, where I cried), and the National (which was a fucking surreal experience as they played on Stanford's campus, I was the only one within earshot of myself who knew the words to Crybaby Geeks, and then the white catalog moms came up to me after to thank me for singing the song).

I also started playing my own music! I started playing viola again for the first time in 7 years (lol) in both pop-up concerts with the Awesome Orchestra (one in Golden Gate Park, one at the Exploratorium) and a string quartet through my school. Sometimes I am filled with joy and delight. Other times interpersonal tensions run high and also I am very bad at being in tune. It's life.

Media! I really liked Mob Psycho 100 Season 2 and Beastars. I feel like those were the only notable anime I watched this year? I saw the Farewell three times--first in Seattle where I sobbed for like 1 hour after the movie, the second time with my parents, and the third where Awkwafina was present for a Q&A. I thought Parasite was incredible and Promare was OK. I have spent an unfortunately large amount of my time playing Pokemon Masters. I finally beat BOTW and completed my Pokedex in Shield like 2 weeks after getting the game.

Resolutions! In my draft of my 2018 end of year post (which I never polished and posted, sorry), I said my resolutions were 1. come out to my parents 2. draw enough to table at an anime con 3. be disciplined about paper reading and have a doc. I did none of these things!!! However, for 1, I feel like I am well equipped to have this conversation but am waiting for my sibling to do it first out of respect. 2 was just bad. I barely drew this year except for gifts. 3 was okay--I did have a large doc in the beginning of the year when I was looking for ideas, but as time went on I abandoned it (I also stopped reading papers, which I don't think you're supposed to do as a grad student...)

My resolutions this year are phrased as intentions (-(c) Matthew). They span several categories. Relationships: I want to open myself to and actively seek experiences of love, because I miss that. That being said, I will only date someone if 1. they have their life together 2. they love themselves and 3. they challenge me to grow. (I do think you can experience love without dating; the thing I'm after is love in an expansive sense.) Work: I want to do enough work so I don't feel guilty about not doing enough work, and also not berate myself for taking a long time to do things. Hobbies: I want to sew at least one thing a month. Chinese: I want to improve my Chinese, especially pronunciation.

Having written this 20 days into 2020, it's not been so bad so far. But I was also really happy in the beginning of 2019. Here's to no global maxima, a monotonically increasing year!

[dustedmagazine]

Dust, Volume 5, Number 12

Matthew J. Rolin 

Ned Starke was right. Winter is coming, and maybe, for our Chicago and Eastern Seaboard contingent, it’s here. That’s a good excuse to find a big comfy chair near the stereo and dig into some new music. This time we offer some hip hop, some finger picking, some music concrete, some indie pop and, just this once, a Broadway musical. Contributors include Ray Garraty, Jennifer Kelly, Justin Cober-Lake, Jonathan Shaw, Bill Meyer and Andrew Forell. Stay warm.

ALLBLACK x Offset Jim — 22nd Ways (Play Runners Association)

ALLBLACK and Offset Jim have collaborated on a few tracks before, but this is their first release together. Their differences, which are significant, make the disc enjoyable through and through. Offset Jim has a poker face delivery that can fool anybody into thinking he’s deadly serious when he’s clearly having fun. ALLBLACK, on the other hand, is known for his goofy humor, but his goofiness is a mask that obscures a poetic psycho killer. Their combination of a healthy dose of humor and true-to-the-streets seriousness—seen here— makes a case for tolerating all kinds of oddball pairings:

“Don't leave the house without your makeup kit Diss songs about your real daddy just won't stick Hey, bitch, say, bitch, I know you miss this demon dick Please comb Max hair, take off them wack outfits”

Ray Garraty

 David Byrne — American Utopia (Nonesuch)

If you live long enough, everything that seemed edgy and electrifying in your youth will turn safe and comfortable in middle age. You’ll buy festival tickets with access to couches, tents and air conditioning. Clash songs will turn up in Jaguar ads. Kids at the playground will run around sporting your Black Flag tee-shirt. You may even find yourself in a $250 seat, at a beautiful theater, with your beautiful wife, seeing “American Utopia,” David Byrne’s new jukebox musical, and, to borrow a phrase, you may ask yourself, “How did I get here?” And look, you could do worse. These are wonderful songs, still prickly and spare even now in full orchestral arrangements, still booming with cross-currented, afro-beat rhythms (Byrne got to that early on, give him credit), still buoyed with a scratchy, ironic, ebullient pulse of life. It’s hard to say what plot line stitches together “Born Under Punches,” “Every Day is a Miracle,” “Burning Down the House” and “Road to Nowhere,” or how absorbing the connective narrative may be. It’s not, obviously, as kinetic and daring as the original arrangements, stitched together with shoe-laces, stuttering with anxiety, bounced and jittered by the back line of Tina Weymouth and Chris Frantz, clad in an absurdly oversized suit. And, yet, it’s not so bad and if I had three big bills to spend on a night at the theater, I might just want to see it re-enacted. Because I’ve gotten safe and comfortable, too, and anyway, better that than the Springsteen show.

Jennifer Kelly

 Charly Bliss — Supermoon EP (Barsuk) 

Supermoon by Charly Bliss

Charly Bliss’ latest release Supermoon, collects five tracks written during the Young Enough sessions that didn’t make the final cut. The EP showcases the band transitioning from the grungy edge of their debut Guppy to the more polished pop sound of its successor. Eva Hendricks is one of the moment’s most distinctive voices, and these songs find her grappling with the themes so tellingly addressed on Young Enough. Although the songs here deserve release, the interest is in what they don’t do. More than sketches, they are less lyrically formed than those on the album, more guitar driven and without the big pop pay offs. The band, Hendricks on guitar and vocals, her brother Sam on drums, guitarist Spencer Fox and bassist Dan Shure still produce a hooky, engaging record which will appeal to fans. Newcomers might want to start with the albums but Supermoon is not without its moments.

Andrew Forell

  Cheval Sombre — Been a Lover b/w The Calfless Cow (Market Square)

Cheval Sombre - Been a Lover b/w The Calfless Cow by Market Square Recordings

Cheval Sombre teamed with Luna/Galaxie 500’s Dean Wareham last year for a haunting batch of cowboy songs that found, as I put it in my Dusted review, “unfamiliar shadows and crevices in some very familiar material.” Now comes Cheval Sombre, otherwise known as Chris Porpora, with a brace of soft, dreamy folk-turned-psychedelic songs, one a gently sorrowful original, the other a cover of Alasdair Roberts. “Been a Lover” slow-strums through a whistling canyons of dreams, wistfully surveying the remnants of a long-standing relationship. It has the nodding, skeletal grace of Sonic Boom’s acoustic “Angel,” perhaps no coincidence since the Spaceman 3 songwriter produced the album. “The Calfless Cow” anchors a bit more in folk blues picking, though Porpora’s soft, prayerful vocals float free above the foundations. Both songs feel like spectral images leaving traceries on unexposed film—unsolid and evocative and mysteriously, inexplicably there.

Jennifer Kelly

 Cigarettes After Sex — Cry (Partisan Records)

Cry by Cigarettes After Sex

Cigarettes After Sex’s 2017 debut album was a quite lovely collection of slow-core, lust-lorn dream pop. On the follow up Cry Greg Gonzalez (vocals, guitar), Phillip Tubbs (keys), Randall Miller (bass) and Jacob Tomsky (drums) double down on their signature sound with half the effect. The melodies are still here, the delicate restraint also, Gonzalez’ voice whispers seductively sweet nothings but this time around it is largely nothings he’s working with. It’s not that this is a terrible record, it’s more that the wreaths of gossamer amount to not much. Lacking the humorous touches of the debut, Cry suffers from Gonzalez’ sometimes witless and earnest lyrics which are mirrored in the lackluster pace which makes one desperate for the sex to be over so one can get back to smoking. Cry aims for Lynch/Badalamenti atmospherics and hits them occasionally but too often lapses into Hallmark sentimentalism. For an album ostensibly about romantic and physical love Cry is dispiritingly dry. There is only ash on these sheets. Serge Gainsbourg is somewhere rolling his eyes, and a gasper, in the velvet boudoir of eternity.

Andrew Forell

  Lucy Dacus — 2019 (Matador)

Between Historian and boygenius, Lucy Dacus had a pretty memorable 2018. It makes sense that she'd want to document 2019. What she did instead was release a series of holiday-ish tracks over the course of the year and then collect them as the 2019 EP. The covers will likely get the most attention, whether her loving take on Edith Piaf's “La vie en rose” or the rocking rendition of Wham!'s “Last Christmas.” Dacus doesn't perform these songs with any sense of snark; she's both enjoying herself and invested. Counting Bruce Springsteen's birthday as a holiday might be silly, but she nails “Dancing in the Dark,” turning it to her own aesthetic. The weird one here is “In the Air Tonight,” which smacks of irony and whatever we call guilty pleasures these days, but she plays it straight, arguing for it as a spooky Halloween cut, and sort of pulls it off.  

Focusing on the covers might lead listeners to forget how good a songwriter she is. The Mother's Day “My Mother & I” feels thoroughly like a Dacus number, opening with contemplation: “My mother hates her body / We share the same outline / She swears that she loves mine.” Holidays aren't easy. “Fool's Gold” (stick this New Year's track first or last) falls like snow, laden with regret and rationalization. Dacus works through holidays with care and concern. The covers might be fun (even the Phil Collins number works as a curiosity), but when she lets the more conflicted thoughts come through, as on “Forever Half Mast,” she maintains the hot streak. The EP might be a bit of a diversion, but its secret complexity makes it more surprisingly forceful. Justin Cober-Lake 

 Kool Keith — Computer Technology (Fat Beats)

Computer Technology by Kool Keith

Naming an album Computer Technology in 2019 is like calling a 1950 disc A Light Bulb. Ironic Luddite-ness is a part of the charm of the new Kool Keith’s album, his second this year. The record has a cyberpunk-ish (circa 1984) feel, thanks to wacky, early electronics-like beats that no sane hip hop artist today would agree to rap over. But who said Kool Keith was sane? He’s like a computer virus here, infesting a modern culture he views with disdain. His kooky brags could be written off as old man rants if he been in the rap game since day one. On “Computer Technology” he says: ‘You need to sit down and slow down’, yet he himself shows no signs of slowing down.

If Kool Keith’s 1980s science rap messed around in a high school lab, he’s now a tenured professor in hip hop science blowing up the joint.

Ray Garraty

 Leech — Data Horde (Peak Oil) 

Data Horde by Leech

Brian Foote’s work has a knack for showing up in slightly unexpected and subtly crucial places, whether it’s behind the scenes at Kranky and his own Peak Oil imprint, or as a member at times of Fontanelle or Nudge, or even just helping out Stephen Malkmus with drums. On Data Horde, his debut LP of electronic music under his Leech moniker, Foote works with his customary quiet assurance and subtly radical take on things, delivering a brief but satisfying set of bespoke productions that somehow evoke acid and ambient tinges at the same time, feinting towards full-out jungle eruptions before turning the corner and somehow naturally going somewhere much more minimal. Whether it’s the skittering, pulsing “Brace” or the lush and aptly-named “Nimble”, the results are consistently satisfying and the six tracks here suggest that we could stand to hear a lot more from Leech.  

Ian Mathers

Midnight Odyssey — Biolume Part 1: In Tartarean Chains (I, Voidhanger)

Biolume Part 1 - In Tartarean Chains by MIDNIGHT ODYSSEY

 Midnight Odyssey’s massive new record sounds like what might happen if Gary Numan’s Tubeway Army smoked up a bunch of Walter White’s finest product and decided that they must cover Pink Floyd’s Live at Pompei, complete with ruins and really big gongs. It’s interstellar. It’s perversely grandiose. The synths soar and rumble, the vocals come in mournful choral arrangements, the low end thunders and occasionally explodes into blast-beat barrage. It’s almost impossible to take seriously, and it’s presented with what seems like absolute seriousness. In any case, there’s a lot of it: seven tracks, all of which exceed the eight-minute mark, and most of which moan and intone and resonate well beyond ten minutes. You’ve got to give it to Dis Pater, the only identified member of Midnight Odyssey — he really means it. But it’s often hard to tell if Biolume Part 1 (Pater threatens that there are two more parts to come) is the product of an unchecked, idiosyncratically powerful vision or just goofball cosmological schmaltz. To this reviewer, it’s undecidable. And that’s interesting.

Jonathan Shaw

 Nakhane — You Will Not Die 

South African singer Nakhane Touré has a voice that can stop you in your tracks when he unleashes it, and a willingness to tackle uncomfortable topics (homosexuality, colonialism, and the way the imported Presbyterian church interacts with both) that’s seen him both praised and threatened in his homeland. You Will Not Die marks a shift in Nakhane’s music, both in terms of how directly and intensely he engages with those places where the sacred rubs up against, not so much the profane but the disavowed, even while sonically everything is lusher and brighter, whether it’s the slinky electroglam of “Interloper” or the bell-tolling balladry of “Presbyteria.” For once it’s worth seeking the deluxe edition, for the Bowie-esque Anohni duet “New Brighton” and the defiantly melancholy cover of “Age of Consent” alone.

 Matthew J. Rolin — Matthew J. Rolin (Feeding Tube)

Matthew J. Rolin by Matthew J. Rolin

Matthew J. Rolin steps to the head of the latest class of American Primitive guitarists on this self-titled debut LP. He is currently a resident of Columbus, Ohio, but his main inspirations from within the genre are Chicagoan. Reportedly a Ryley Walker concert sent him down the solo guitar path, but the one time this reviewer caught him in concert, Rolin only made one substance-oriented statement throughout the set, and it was more of a shy assertion than an extravagant boast. His sound more than pays the toll. Bright and ringing on 12 strings, pithy and structurally sound on six, he makes sparing use of outdoor sound and keyboard drones that bring Daniel Bachman to mind. Like Bachman did on his early records, Rolin often relies upon the rush of his fingerpicking to draw the listener along, and what do you know? It works.

Bill Meyer

  Claire Rousay — Aerophobia (Astral Spirits)

Aerophobia by Claire Rousay

To watch Claire Rousay perform is to see the process of deciding made visual. You can’t put that on a tape, but you can make the tape a symbolic and communicative object. To see Rousay repeatedly, or to play her recordings in sequence, is to hear an artist who is rapidly transforming. This one was already a bit behind her development when it was released, but that can be turned into a statement, too. Perhaps the title Aerophobia, which means fear of flying, is a critique of the tape’s essentially musical content? It is a series of drum solos, unlike the more the more recent t4t, which includes self-revealing speech and household sounds. If so, that critique does not reproach the music itself, nor should it. Even when you can’t see her, you can hear her sonic resourcefulness and appreciate the movement and shape she articulates with sound.

Bill Meyer

 Colin Andrew Sheffield & James Eck Rippie — Exploded View (Elevator Bath)

exploded view by colin andrew sheffield & james eck rippie

Colin Andrew Sheffield, who is the proprietor of the Elevator Bath imprint, and James Eck Rippie, who does sound work for Hollywood movies, have this understanding in common: they know that you gotta break things to make things. The things in question don’t even have to be intact when you start; at any rate, the feedback, microphone bumps, blips and skips that make up this 19-minute long piece of musique concrete sound like the product of generations of handling. It all feels a bit like you’re hearing a scan of the shortwave bands from inside the radio, which makes for delightfully disorienting listening.

Bill Meyer

 Ubik — Next Phase (Iron Lung)

Next Phase MLP (LUNGS-148) by UBIK

 Philip K. Dick’s whacko-existentialist-corporate-satire-cum-SF-novel Ubik turns 50 this year, and serendipitously, Australian punks Ubik have released this snarling, tuneful EP into the world. There’s a whole lot of British street punk, c. 1982, in Ubik’s sound, especially if that genre tag and year make you flash on Lurkers, Abrasive Wheels and Angelic Upstarts — bands that knew how to string melodic hooks together, and bands that had pretty solid lefty politics. Ubik’s songs couple street punk’s populist (in the pre-Trump sense) fist-pumping with a spastic, elastic angularity, giving the tracks just enough of a weirdo vibe that the band’s name makes sense. The combination of elements is vividly present in “John Wayne (Is a Cowboy (and Is on Twitter)),” a hugely fun punk song that registers a fair degree of ideological venom as it bashes and speeds along. Somewhere, Horselover Fat is nodding his head and smiling. 

Jonathan Shaw

 Uranium Club — Two Things at Once (Sub Pop)

Uranium Club (sometimes Minneapolis Uranium club) made one of the best punk albums of this year in The Cosmo Cleaners. “A visionary insanity, backed by impressive musical chops,” I opined in Dusted last April, setting off a frenzy of interest and an epic major label bidding war. Just kidding. Hardly anyone noticed. Uranium Club was this year’s Patois Counselors, a band so good that it made no sense that no one knew about them. But, fast forward to now and LOOK at the heading of this review! Sub Pop noticed and included Uranium Club in its storied singles club. And why not? The bluntly named “Two Things at Once,” (Parts I and 2), is just as tightly, maniacally wound as the full-length, just as gloriously, spikily confrontational. “Part 1” scrambles madly, pulling hair out by the roots as it agitatedly considers “our children’s creativity” and whether “I’m too young to die.” It’s like Fire Engines, but faster and crazier and with big pieces of machinery working loose and flying off the sides. “Part 2” runs slower and more lyrically but with no less intensity, big flayed slashes of discord rupturing its meditative strumming. There are no words in it, and yet you sense deep, obsessive bouts of agitation driving its motor, even when the brass comes in, unexpectedly, mournfully, near the end. This is the good stuff, and no one wants you to know about it. Except me. And now Sub Pop. Don’t miss out.

Jennifer Kelly

 Various Artists— Come on up to the House: Women Sing Waits (Dualtone)

Come On Up To The House: Women Sing Waits by Dualtone Music Group, Inc.

Tom Waits’ gravelly voice is embedded deep in the fabric of how we think of Tom Waits songs. You can’t think of “Come On Up to the House” without sandpapery catch in its gospel curves, or of “Downtown Train” without his strangled desolation; he is the songs, and if you don’t like the way he sings, you’ve probably never cared much for his recordings. And yet, here, in this all-woman, star-studded, country-centric collection of covers, you can hear, maybe for the first time, how gracefully constructed these songs are, how pretty the melodies, how well the lyrics fit to them. You cannot believe how different these songs sound with women singing. It is truly revelatory. Contributors include big stars (Aimee Mann, Corinne Rae Bailey), living legends (Iris Dement, Roseanne Cash), up-and-comers (Courtney Marie Andrews, Phoebe Bridgers) and a few emerging artists (Joseph, The Wild Reeds), and all have a case to make. Phoebe Bridgers distills “Georgia Lee” into a quiet, tragic purity, while Angie McMahon finds a private, inward-looking clarity in “Take It With Me.” Courtney Marie Andrews blows up “Downtown Train,” into a swaggering country anthem, while Roseanne Cash infuses “Time” with a warm, unforced glow. These versions transform weird, twisted reveries into American songbook classics, which is what they maybe were, under all that growling, all along.

Jennifer Kelly

[youngbradford]

Xmas Message For 2019

And here we go, my 19th annual year-end love letter online …Georgi Balinov and I rang in the new year at a giant party in Bangkok, halfway around the world. That foreign location, its beauty and tastes, set the tone for my 2019, a year of seeing the world, while stabilizing my life. Though often in flux or movement, 2019 was a year many things normalized over the year.

In January, almost immediately after arriving stateside, I crossed the pond and saw Michelle Visage perform in the West End with Peter Wish. Afterward, I played with her wigs backstage and walked her towards the queer kids lining up for selfies and autographs. I am very lucky to have Peter and Michelle in my life, kindred spirits both. One reminding me that fame, fortune, ebb, and flow, but that being real is what matters most. The other, a reminder to stay forever young. I visited Berlin yet again and did the usual, working, and playing, hard.

February appeared and I traveled to Philadelphia with Sandra Hansel, Georgi, George Sapio, and Anthony DeFilippis. We toured Lisa Roberts’ house, saw a Dieter Rams exhibit, dined with George Alley. In Lambertville, that Sunday, I bought vinyl and vintage hats. Later that month, I got a swallow tattooed on my hand, a symbol of flight and travel, and Warhol’s knives, blackened into my shin. An Eames exhibit in Oakland was a sweet way to end the month.

In March with my crew, Georgi, Khadyon Reid, Luis Urribarri, Anthony, and George, descended upon Salvador for Carnival. It was insane! I watched Anitta live, and danced in a sea of pushing, fighting, kissing Brazilians for days upon days. I felt unsafe and alive, threatened and excited. It was intense. Back home I got my other hand tattooed, again honoring my love of seeing the world. I traveled to Portland, came back to NYC at the end of the month, finally moving into our apartment, the one we bought 1.5 years before, that I designed, and had renovated head to toe. Finally, we had our dream home. The weekend we moved in, the place was still not ready, but we were sick of living without our things and in other people’s beds. Peg Kendall and Georgi’s mom came, and we worked our asses off unpacking and starting to make the 2800 square foot loft on west 13th street a home. We’d lived in Airbnbs and friends’ places for 19 months and it was tiring not having a home, not having most of our things. My art! My toys! My shoes!. Those months taught me how important a home, a safe place, and the oasis of my collections is to my mental health. From March on I felt more on solid ground and dedicated more energy to my career and friendships as a result.

In April we went to Coachella, seeing Ian and Jose Seronni, JJ and Andrey Lunin, and dancing in the desert of California. Multiple trips to San Francisco, catching glimpse of old friends, scaling my team at work, as I took on more and more responsibility.

In May, George Sapio and I celebrated (me a little early) a shared, fun birthday weekend at Soho Farmhouse. Joined by Matthew Kelleher, Mark Silver, Jaime Tanner, Matt Lynch, and others, we went shooting and feasted on pheasant in the English countryside.June was really busy, insanely so. 

For my 43rd in early June, I had a 30-person dinner party in our new place! We ended up at Club Cumming after, but before friends, new, and old, showered me with a vinyl record, the admission fee I’d set for my party. Lauren Foster, who has shared her home with us, was, appropriately, our first overnight guest. London, again, Berlin, too. Then home for Pride. Willam Ralphie hosted Bingo at eBay, Zach Augustine, David Mason Chlopecki, other loves attended. That weekend danced to both Madonna and Grace Jones on the pier and danced with 15K others at Javitz, where my favorite singer, Cyndi Lauper, belted “I Drove All Night,” her best song, at midnight. I stayed until the sun came up. NYC was electric that weekend. Parties, icons, friends from the world over … the city has an energy you could literally see and taste. I caught a few moments of the parade, overtaking lower Manhattan, and I smiled really big. God, it can feel good being gay! God, the world has improved for gay people (and yes, I know, we still have ways to go, especially for more marginalized LGBTQ groups). But I still took a moment to acknowledge the things that are better, that I have seen in my very gay lifetime. NYC that weekend was the ultimate place to reflect.

July 4th I went to Hamptons, with Ricardo, Brian, Felipe L. Mollica, others, guests of Anthony. Hosted Fab.com reunion, walked the Brooklyn Bridge, and took my team to Korea (where I shared a traditional Korean meal with Jae Hah), China (where I ate bird’s nests, jellyfish, sea snails, saw a Yves Klein show with Adnan Abbasi, and danced to 90s pop in a packed gay club), and Moscow (where I was amazed at how clean the city was and where I went to a traditional sauna and was whipped, naked, with tree leaves in front of dozens of Russian dudes in the nude). While in Russia a protest erupted, literally below the rooftop bar I dined in. Russia seemed freer than I’d expected, way more Western, up until this moment. I ended the weekend at a club at 3 AM, Russian women in high, high heels, dancing on the bar, vodka flowing like water. 2020 saw me traveling to places I romanticized as a child. Russia, one such place. I thoroughly enjoyed the friendships formed in Moscow, the food, and history. I want to return.

August, I was back in San Jose and Portland for work, then off again to Europe for vacation. We started our trip in Croatia, where Georgi and I kayaked around Dbruvnik’s harbor. Croatia’s cliffs and turquoise water did not disappoint, as we boated to islands and swam in caves. Driving south into Montenegro, the architecture reminded me more of Polish, Bulgarian trips, the water, greener. At the Amman we laid out next to The Beckhams, watching David kick a soccer ball with workers of the hotel, and watching Victoria read a book. Georgi and I then ventured to Mykonos, sunning til sunset and dancing til sunrise. A weekend trip upstate with our besties (including a guest appearance by Eric Lee, riding rides at the Colombia County fair, cooking pies, and grilling meats, ended our summer.

In September I went to Berlin and did Folsom and a speaking gig in front of 1K eBay sellers. I went again to Tel Aviv, meeting gay Israeli technology workers and a bevy fo Israeli start-ups. In Jerusalem, I returned to the wonderful Machneyuda with Gilad Ayalon, where they remembered me from my birthday the year before.

October saw us hosting my mother and my niece for a visit. We fell in love with Company XVI, a dance/burlesque/performance art troupe in Brooklyn. I took my mother to see Madonna, a night I will cherish forever. And we saw Dear Evan Hanson. A weekend in Miami with Lauren Foster and K was needed warmth. I took Georgi to see both acts of The Inheritance (so good!).  Then off to Berlin, again, and Paris, where I looked at art and went shopping for fall clothes. Halloween, in NYC, was brilliant and over the top; I went as white Pierrot clown. In Brooklyn, to Honey Dijon, we danced all night. Ralph Rucci, the American couturier reposted our photo on Instagram, calling it high-fashion, however, it was Georgi who won the night as Spock.

November I was in NYC early on, shopping with Thomas Cawson (who hooked me up with pink denim Helmut Lang), eating Christmas cookies, and being interviewed by Buzzfeed, a segment on 90s toys. I imitated a Furby. Then a week in Portland (I glow-in-the-dark-miniature-golfed), and off to Helsinki, catching up with former friends from Fab, One Nordic, Hem. Then to Lapland, with Georgi, George, and Anthony, lapping up wine, winter wonderlands, and dining on reindeer and elk. Dog sledding, snowmobiling, Northen lights! Another childhood desire checked from the list. Dinner with Michelle Case in London closed the month.

In December I went back to Berlin (my second home) and hosted a fundraiser for Single Step in our home. In one night Georgi and I helped raise $50K to help build Bulgaria’s first LGBTI center. It was also an impromptu holiday party: so many old friends together again in one room. And now Georgi and I sit in an airport lounge, awaiting our flight to Baltra, in the Galapagos. Once we land, we’ll board a 7-day cruise on a mega-yacht/small cruise ship. This, I feel, I have been waiting my entire life for.

I often write about how I was lonely as a kid. I was gay, I had a drug-addicted father, I grew up very poor. I oftentimes say music saved my life. But, I don’t write enough about the joy animals gave me too. I had so many pets: newts, turtles, tortoises, tree frogs, geckos, crabs, salamanders, etc. Caring for them, feeding them, gave me peace and allowed me to love. One turtle I had had a cracked shell. He lived in my room for many, many years. I always preferred him, with his defects, to the others. I think I feel the same about people.

As a child, I became obsessed with the Galapagos Islands, and mostly the tortoises. I would read about them in encyclopedias and race to see them at zoos. I always felt connected to turtles. They were my spirit animal. Later in life, I’d bloom, my feathers growing, my pride, alive. I’d no longer consider myself a turtle, my spirit animal changed. I told this story to my colleague Eben Sermon, who runs eBay’s German business: I always wanted to be a turtle. But I ended up a cockatoo. Eben brought this up last week in Berlin and it made me think a bit more about affinities for animals and how I have not had that connection as often as I probably should.

So this week, before we ring in New Years in Rio, I will honor the old me, the kid, the quieter Bradford, the sadder Bradford, by visiting those turtles, finally.

And I’ll marvel at the wonder of nature and evolution, both the evolution of animals and this world, and also the very real and dramatic evolution of my spirit and happiness.

Happy Holidays, Peace & Big Love

[godfirstgodalways]

I'm sorry if you get this question a lot but is it wrong to like Halloween? Personally I just like the aesthetic and decor of it. I like a bit of spookiness but I dont "believe" in it or have rituals. My family thinks it's wrong but I'm not sure. I was just wondering what your opinion is? Thanks so much ❤

Actually I’ve never gotten this question before. :) Growing up I’ve always participated in Halloween. It was mentioned maybe twice in my past about how it’s not christ-like to celebrate it, but the discussion around it never convicted me to be against it, and the fact that I can’t really remember a sermon on it at church is probably why I never really felt strongly about it…although I think I should begin to. Anon asked a few months ago if Christians should celebrate Christmas or not. I basically said, to me it doesn’t really matter when Jesus was born, if I got invited to celebrate Christmas tomorrow, then I’d go…what’s more important is the fact that I believe Jesus was born, and what’s even more important is realizing that everyday….Christmas is not the only day to remember that. Anyway, I admitted that it’s something that I never really thought about or have a strong feeling against, and it’s the same way I feel about Halloween. I believe that you will still participate in Halloween whether your family is against it or not, but I believe you will only be convicted to stop taking part in it the more you learn about the history of Halloween, especially if those convictions help you grow to love God more.

Matthew 10:37 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

What God means in this verse is if you intentionally put others or things above and before Him, if anything takes His place, then He basically cannot use you. Christians must strive to love God more than anything and anyone, meaning your intentions should lead you back to God. So if you can honestly say Halloween aesthetics and decors don’t get in the way of your relationship with Christ, then it should not be a sin to you (I would not be worried). But if you even begin to put higher importance on looks whether Halloween related or not, then I would be worried…if it is an urge or something that you feel fulfills you better than what God can give you, then it is a sin for you to take part in it. Don’t simply do what others say even if it’s family. This might come across wrong to some, but if you disregard Halloween aesthetics and decor only to please your family, it adds no value to your relationship with God because your intention was wrong. ONLY DISREGARD IT IF GOD CONVICTS YOU TO DO SO, BECAUSE THEN YOU WILL KNOW YOUR INTENTIONS ARE RIGHT, OTHERWISE YOU WOULD BE MAKING A DECISION BASED ON RELIGIOSITY. MAKE YOUR DECISION CONNECT WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD. I hope this has helped! ❤️

Deuteronomy 18:9-13 When you enter the land the LORD your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways of the nations there. Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the LORD; because of these same detestable practices the LORD your God will drive out those nations before you. You must be blameless before the LORD your God.

By His Grace, Sheela (Via godfirstgodalways)

[pastorcowboy]

Matthew series: a real faith tester

Matthew 15: Lessons in Faith Part 2

It’s impossible to comb through Matthew and understand it fully. Sure, you could say it’s just writing. Yet, every time I read it there is a different slant, layer, and deep meaning. I believe it is brilliant writing. I feel that the testing of Jesus in Matthew 4 is partially a template for the whole book. Again, in chapter 14 Jesus is tempted by being weary like he was in the desert temptation. Here in chapter 15 Jesus seems to be tempted with authority just like he was in the desert. It’s interesting that Jesus responds the same way too. He uses the Old Testament as his weapon.

I have said before that Matthew is sort of a guide book for new Christians. You have been schooled so far on who Jesus is and what he believes. In these chapters 14-17 Matthew is training you on how to defend your faith. Your faith will be tested. Jesus is said to have endured the testing himself so that he could empathize with us. These chapters show us that. Jesus was tested with being weary. He was tested in faith to help others. In this chapter he tested with authority and knowledge.

Does Jesus respect tradition? Our test in Christianity will land within the realm of tradition most of the time. Will we follow men and their interpretation of the Bible? Will we do Christianity their way or God’s way. This is certainly not an easy topic. Church is supposed to be a place of happiness and friendship. It is, except at times people get in the way. There is pride, jealousy, and fear of losing power within religious walls. People build rules that go beyond what the Bible intended. This chapter talks about that. Jesus gives his take on it. The Bible needs to be part of your Christian training. Not so much to know the truth but to defend your truth in Jesus. Do you know your Bible?

Matthew 15:3 “Jesus replied, “And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition?”

Isaiah 29:13 “The Lord says: “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.”

Traditions. We have many traditions. We hold the door for someone. We put a penny in a well. We throw salt over our shoulders. If it’s December I think of Christmas. If it’s October I think Halloween or thanksgiving. We all have various things we call traditions. I have hash browns and eggs every Saturday morning. It’s tradition. It is also in honor of my grandparents that made breakfast for me. I believe that Jesus did like traditions. He had conflicts with the religious rulers because they were using tradition as a club. It honored their institution and not God. What are your traditions?

Matthew 15:3 “Jesus replied, "And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition?”

Deuteronomy 16:10 “Then celebrate the Festival of Weeks to the LORD your God by giving a freewill offering in proportion to the blessings the LORD your God has given you.”

Matthew 15 sees Jesus in the mist of his ministry life. He is traveling, teaching, having disputes with the religious rulers, and deep discussions with the faithful. Within all that is the miracles. Who is Jesus? Well, if he is God, then he might know something of the Bible. He might preform acts that are seen as miracles. He may also want to establish his kingdom on earth. Jesus is building something here. I believe Matthew saw that in the life of Jesus. His book is building our faith through knowledge and examples. I also believe Matthew is warning us on the pitfalls of religion.

In some ways this chapter spells it out. When we put religion first. When we put our beliefs first. We tend to put us first. What really happens is that the world around us fades away. We don’t see people in need. We don’t hear what people are really saying. Look at this chapter. Jesus is on the road. The noise of the religious scrutiny is all around him. He heals people. Jesus teaches. He is interested in the well-being of others by feeding four thousand. Throughout this chapter the religious rulers and disciples are off track. Jesus stays steady and sure in his mission.

Matthew 15:19-20 “For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20 These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”

Isaiah 29:13 “The Lord says: "These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.’

Read Matthew 15. Also read Matthew 4 again. Read Nehemiah 6. It is encouraging to see others try and focus in the mist of trouble.

1.       There is a reason the Pharisees questioned Jesus about ceremonial washing. Some people think baptism is a New Testament thing. Washing the body to be clean or renewed is not foreign to Jesus. The question was legitimate. It’s fascinating that Jesus does not address this issue. Instead, Jesus does the Jesus thing. He poses another question. Matthew 15 is testing our faith. How is that? Really, he is training us on what not to do.

Jesus confronts the religious rulers by asking them a deeper question. All throughout the Gospels Jesus always responds to attacks with another question. This time he is pressing the religious men to examine their devotion to the original law. Do they honor their mother and father? There are the Ten Commandments. They are famous. If you read further into the Bible, there are many other suggestions or laws of God. A legal system was set up by Moses.

What is forgotten is that the commandments are a lifestyle on how to treat people and God well. Obviously, people like making laws. God likes making a lifestyle. Honor your mother. Honor your God. Honor your neighbor. This section of Matthew 15 is sad. Matthew 15:19-20 tells his disciples plainly what we do with our mouths and hearts. Laws try and make us look good, but our hearts are not that good. I can wash my hands clean, but can I have a clean mind and heart? To be a Christian is to work on the inside rather than the outside.

Matthew 15:9 “But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.”

Exodus 30:21 “They shall wash their hands and their feet, so that they may not die: it shall be a perpetual ordinance for them, for him and for his descendants throughout their generations.”

 2.       I love friendly banter. What I mean is a comical conversation with true meaning. Jesus believes in his mission. He wants to stay focused. I suspect it comes across as arrogant or cold. God is on point to get his kingdom started. He has the look. Along comes a woman from Canaan. If you knew these people then you would know their superstitions. They sought out the spiritual. Yet, this woman is smart and witty. Jesus is too.

These two engage in a battle of wittiness. She asks for help from Jesus because she had heard he was spiritually powerful. Jesus is on mission. He is here to train these twelve Jewish men to build the kingdom. Jesus has no time for religious nuts. Verse 26 I quoted below is a harsh statement in my mind. She begs for help, but he ignores her. We pass beggars all the time don’t we. They become annoying. This woman does not stop. Jesus tries to use the bread of life statement. She does not give up.

I feel Jesus is prodding her to respond. I bet she had sought help from idol images, priests, and who knows what. Jesus calling her a dog is tempting her to flee away. Yet, she responded with a very witty answer. Even the dogs eat the crumbs from the bread. Jesus was impressed so he healed her. I will point out two thoughts here. One is that the disciples don’t listen. They want her gone. I get it. Religious nuts can be annoying. Secondly, Jesus patiently allows this woman to make a choice. How bad does she want God’s help? Jesus drove her to be willing even to the point of eating the crumbs of God. That is desire. Are we willing to take the time to listen to people and push their faith forward?

Matthew 15:26 “He replied, "It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to the dogs."

 Jerimiah 15:16 “When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart's delight, for I bear your name, LORD God Almighty.”

 3.       What does God see? I know a song called “what if God was one of us” by Joan Osbourne. What if? This chapter answers that. Jesus is on mission to do his fathers will. He is focused and unwavering. The religious men see the law. The disciples see hungry people that they can’t help. Jesus sees a chance to teach, feed, and cure. Jesus sees the essence of the law. Honor those around you. Jesus sees faith stumbling and growing. Those are the things God sees.

Matthew is using his book to grow our faith. That word is sprinkled throughout this book. Jesus mentions “your faith has healed you”; “ye of little faith.” The point is not to bash our faith. The point is not to be tested. The point is to move us to look beyond ourselves. He asked the Pharisees to look beyond their laws. He asked the disciples to look beyond what they see. I feel Matthew is training us to see what God sees.

 Matthew 15:31 “so that the crowd was amazed when they saw the mute speaking, the maimed whole, the lame walking, and the blind seeing. And they praised the God of Israel.”

 1 Samuel 16:7 “But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

 4.       Sometimes we praise a writer for how they construct their story. Oh, that was smart or clever of Steven King or Ernest Hemmingway. Do we give Matthew enough credit? It’s easy to overlook his message. We are reading the story of Jesus. The problem is that it’s not a story. This is not a time line. This book is a snapshot of the whole 33 years of Jesus life. There are gaps and holes. Things we never get to see or hear about. What was Jesus like at home, in school, or at work?

That is why I say this is not a story. A story has a beginning and a conclusion. Sure, Jesus was born and died. Yet this is open ended. We are told he was born. Jesus dies but is raised to life. Eternity means the story never ends. I think Matthew is giving us a message more than a story. Just look at chapter 15 again. The Pharisees come from Jerusalem to pick on Jesus devotion to Judaism. The Canaanite woman comes from a land of idols seeking healing. The disciples are blind to what is really happening. All they see is annoying women and hungry people. Matthew is showing us bad religion. People that see their own faith and their own needs. Look deeper. See more. Listen harder. God just might be showing us something we are unwilling to see, hear, and help that is beyond religion.

Matthew 15:32 “Then Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I have compassion for the crowd, because they have been with me now for three days and have nothing to eat; and I do not want to send them away hungry, for they might faint on the way.”

Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”

What it all means?

Matthew is training us. It’s a shame if we only see the story. It’s a shame if we only preach on the famous verses. Verse 26 is hard learning. Why does Jesus call her a dog? Verse 3 has Jesus arguing with the religious rulers. I know that churches guard traditions. I also know they swing the other way. I know a church called “true Jesus.” Compared to the untrue churches of Jesus? I know churches that call themselves undenominational. They break from tradition I guess. What does it all mean?

I feel that many of these places read the Bible looking for meaning. They are looking for themselves within the words. What they miss is the meaning and words of Matthew and Jesus. This chapter is not just about Jesus. This chapter is not just about witty verses, miracles, or feeding 4 thousand. Do you know how many books are written on “if” the feeding of five thousand or four thousand are the same story. Maybe, just maybe, they were accounted for to get our attention. Faith means miracles can happen. Faith means we can provide when all seems impossible. Religiously speaking: what do you really have faith in?

I know a man who believed the notes written in his Bible were scripture. He refused to believe they were just comments by another writer about his Bible. Why? In his church they used those quotes so much that they became bigger than the Bible itself. In a way, they trained him to read the notes. Follow the notes. Believe the notes. The true word of God was being ignored. That is what this chapter means. Making Jesus ministry more than it was, is a crime. The message is plain. What God wants done is there before us. Most of the time we are too busy creating religion to see what needs to be seen.

Matthew 15:28 “Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment.”

Romans 1:17 “For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed—a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #478

“i get pretty just to fuck my face up”

If you were dying who would you say goodbye to first out of everyone? My mom. Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? NO. Do you find any of your friends’ parents creepy or really mean? No. Do you have things on your mind right now? My weight is very, very much on my mind. I dared to weigh myself yesterday and I'm the heaviest I've ever been. So that's comforting. Are you at all stressed right now? ^^^^^^^ hunny I wanna pull all my hair out What was the last stuffed animal you bought? I don't know. What’s the last new good song that you discovered? "The Devil's Rejects" by Rob Zombie. I've been really into him lately. Felicity, Fiona, or Flavia? (with the “v” pronounced like a “w”–it’s Latin) "Felicity" is beautiful. I love the word in general. Which biblical name do you prefer: Naomi, Esther, Rachel, or Joanna? I love the name Naomi. Do you own a cowboy hat? No. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? No; she unfriended me. Has someone let you down recently? My goddamn self. What are you looking forward to? Mom to get better so we can force ourselves back into the gym. Also Girt's mom to get better so we can see each other. For the weather to actually feel fall-ish. What’s your favorite Lady Gaga song? "Bad Romance." Skeletons or scarecrows? Skelly boiz What type of tree is the most common where you live? Oh, absolutely pine trees. Where did your last kiss take place? My living room. Name of your pet? Venus and Roman. How was your summer? Shitty. I hate summer. Do you miss anyone right now? I really miss Girt. Covid's gotta go. What size is your shirt? *feral hissing noises* Who was the last person you held hands with? Girt. Do you get out of bed on the left side or right side? Left, because I sleep mostly to the left. Do you like to be closer or farther back to the wheel when driving? Neither, I think? I haven't driven in so long that I'm not sure, but I'm quite sure I position myself pretty ideally. When eating dinner, do you eat foods in order or just inhale it? It's usually kind of in order, but occasionally I'll mix it up. When you lose your phone, where is the first general place you look? My bed. Do you fall asleep with your mouth open or closed? Usually closed. I tend to breathe through my nose unless I'm stuffy. What was the last bug you killed? An ant. Do you keep items in your front or back pants’ pocket? Front. What was the last item or location you cleaned? My glasses. Do you own a pet spider? No, but I REALLY want a number of tarantulas. :( The more time that passes, the more I want some, ha ha. I'd also love a jumping spider or two, but Mom won't allow even that. Have you ever gone on a cruise? No. Is there a rocking chair in your house? No. Have you ever been stood up? No. Do you like elevators or escalators? I'm scared of both. I'm afraid of getting stuck in an elevator, or falling down an escalator/tripping on one. Which do you prefer: M&M’s, Skittles, or Reese’s Pieces? Reese's Pieces, yum. If you could be the sidekick of a superhero which superhero would you pick? Uhhhh maybe Spider-Man, if I could web-sling too? lol Where on your body would you never get a tattoo? ... Can/do people get genitalia tattoos? Because I would fuckin never- Do you think that you could ever win a food eating contest? Hell no. I would puke. Honestly, have you ever thrown garbage out of the window of a car? Absolutely not. Never. What is the first song that comes to mind when I say: Michael Jackson? "Billie Jean." Which would you find more menacing: dinosaurs or dragons? Dragons are just dinos that can fly and breathe fire, so... you tell me which is more dangerous. I'd still try to befriend one tho lmao. Can you say “hello” in another language? Yeah; German is easy. It's just "hallo." Do you like licorice? NO omg Did anybody ever read bedtime stories to you when you were younger? Mom did. Do you have a favorite Johnny Depp movie? What is it? I really like his roles in Alice in Wonderland and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Were you ever force-fed as a child? My parents tried to enforce always finishing our plates. My mom is very against that now, considering the issues it can cause. Should kidneys or other organs be able to be bought and sold? No????? That's some black market bullshit for a reason. What is one of your most important rules when going on a date? Especially if it's your first date with a person, watch for red flags. Will children today have better or worse lives than their parents, and why? Well, it'll probably go in both ways depending on the topic. The environment is dying, the economy is horrific, but I'm sure there will be things like medical advancements. What's the most ironic thing you've seen happen? I dunno. Would you rather go ice skating or roller skating? Roller skating. The blades on ice skates scare me. How many different types of guns have you shot? (water, Nerf, real, etc) Uhhh just water and Nerf, I think? Which of the three meals a day are you most likely to skip? It's very unlikely you'll see me miss a meal... I don't handle the feeling of hunger well. What's something lots of people are afraid of, but you aren't? Snakes, some spiders, I don't THINK I'm scared of deep water, the dark... Do you know anyone who is tolerant of some on the LGBT spectrum but not all? Yes. Do open casket wakes freak you out? I've only been to one, as a child, when I didn't have a full grasp on death, so it was... oddly more fascinating to me, as weird as that sounds? I think going to one now, especially if it was someone close to me, it would make the wake more upsetting. When's the last time you slept in your parents' bed? No clue. What's something that will always be in fashion? Skinny jeans, checkered Vans... What "old person things" do you do? I regularly say "back in the day," lol. And I can go to sleep very early, like 7, but that's uncommon. I complain about soreness in my back and stuff. Do you live in the same hometown as where you were born? No. Did you dorm at college or commute from home? I commuted from home. Do you prefer the thin blue and white masks, or decorative ones? Well, who wouldn't prefer decorative ones? They're more personal to your interests and stuff and I feel is more encouraging to make people wear them. I however don't want to spend money on a mask, so I'm chill with just the blue surgical ones. Have you ever witnessed someone have a seizure before? My dog, yes. Have you ever rode on the back of a shopping cart, or a Home Depot dolly? Yeah, as a kid. Does everything you buy have to be organic? No. I don't buy the groceries, but I also don't care much about that. Do you support more small businesses or chain restaurants/stores? Habitually, chain ones. I wish I paid more attention to small businesses. Have you ever been crowned king or queen at a school dance? No. How old were you when you first started wearing a bra? Am I supposed to remember that? Are you more invested in computer games or video games? I don't care what the game is on; I can be equally invested in either. I prefer to play console games, though. Are you a fan of pumpkin spice everything? Noooo. I'm not a massive fan of it, actually. Is there any holiday that you don't decorate your house for? We only really decorate for occasionally Halloween and always Christmas. Mom may put up some Thanksgiving stuff. Tell me something your parents don't know about. They don't know certain places I've done sexual things at/on. What's the last table food you fed your pet? Roman doesn't get human food. He learned at a young age that's a no-no. Have you ever peed in the water at the beach? Ew, no. Even if it's incredibly vast, people still swim in that. Have you ever scored a winning goal for a team you played for? I doubt it. Have you ever participated in LARPing? No. Have you ever gotten a divorce? Never been married. Do you prefer "regular kissing" or French kissing? I mean that depends on the place and the mood. Are you more likely to give a hickey to someone else or get one? I haven't done that in many years, and when it happened, I don't think one of us did it more than the other. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? I HATE sprinkles. Have you been in more car accidents as a passenger or a driver? I've only ever been in an accident as a passenger. Have you ever been wrongfully convicted of a crime? No. Was any of the cafeteria food at your school actually any good? I actually didn't mind a good number of things. Have you ever wanted to become a lifeguard? No. What's the highest fever you've ever had? I'm unsure, but over 100. Have you ever kissed a dog on the mouth? Well, dogs have kissed ME on the mouth. al;sdkfjalksdjkf so gross When you were born was the umbilical cord wrapped around your neck? Uh, I don't believe so. I feel like I would know that if I was. Would you enter a burning building to save a kitten? I feel like I would, I think. My intense love of animals would probably force me to kick into action. Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John? Haaaa, I have a bias for "Mark," of course... but if we're talking which name I find most appealing, it's probably John. Or Luke. Have you ever been told that you talk too much? As a child, yes. Do you like to clean? Does ANYBODY enjoy it? Do you know of anyone who went into labor at the baby shower? Uh yikes. No. When's the last time you did a hand game with someone? (ie: Mary Mack) Probably not since I was little. Do you know anyone who was not born in a hospital, unexpectedly? No. Does anyone you know have dual citizenship to live in multiple countries? Possibly? Do you still have a landline phone/phone number? No. Name a fad that was popular when you were growing up, that you miss. Oh, I KNOW there's some things, but I don't recall right now. Have you ever gotten to milk a cow or a goat? No. I'm not sure I'd want to.

[alexwritesfluff]

Alexwritesfluff Fic Masterlist (1-2-18)

Alright so I finally decided to do a masterlist. It will probably not be updated frequently but there ya go. I didn’t include Neighbor, Hayrides and another one cause I’m always getting notes for those so I’m sure they’re easier to find lol As always you can find everything I’ve written under my WRITING TAG

Multi-Chaptered Fics

 Wildest Dreams(WIP)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9,

Summary: (USUK) Arthur is about to make his debut into English society, but his father fears he has become too rowdy to contain. Desperate to avoid a scandal before the debut of his only Omega son he arranges for him to travel to America. Arthur is to live at a newly wealthy house where removed from society he can’t possibly get into trouble.

Song Inspiration(Arthur POV): Wildest Dreams

Warnings: D/s dynamics which is basically traditional omegaverse

Wicked Game(Hiatus)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Summary: (USUK) In an unseasonably warm October, Arthur, an Omega Angel, decides he wants to help Magical Strike on his latest heavenly mission. He is unaware that the realms are on the brink of war. A deeper mystery unfolds as he cautiously befriends an attractive Alpha Demon who definitely knows more than he lets on.

“What a wicked game you play to make me feel this way. What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.” -Wicked Game by Chris Isaak

Warnings: Rated R, Darkish fic, sexual assault mentions, Alfred’s a dick(he’s supposed to be a villain in magical strike so yea), obsessive behavior/stalking, dub-con(explicit consent will be given before actual sex), traditional omegaverse, Super!Alpha Alfred, knotting&mpreg

The Wooing of Arthur and his cat(Indefinite Hiatus)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Summary: England is a simple cat with a simple owner who is about to watch the interesting courtship of his owner Arthur Kirkland, without realizing that he himself is being courted as well. 

Warnings: None!

Now Boarding(Complete)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, BONUS: Extra #1

Summary: (USUK) Alfred, a traveling businessman, happens to meet an exhausted omega on one of his regular flights. The chance meeting leaves an impression that refuses to fade away.

Warnings: traditional omegaverse.

Little Snippets from the Land of Spades(Indefinite Hiatus)

A Promise Made

Summary: (USUK) A series of drabbles that chronicle the life of the Spades Prince and his tutor Arthur.

A promise made: Arthur makes a promise he may later regret.

Warnings: This part is rated G

One-shots/Drabbles

Strings

Nations didn’t have soulmates...

Saving people, hunting things, eye-fucking angels--the family business

Summary:

(USUK) Matt is tired of being the third wheel in his brother’s relationship with a certain Angel of the Lord.

Warnings: None!

A Sweet Valentine

Summary: (USUK) Arthur struggles with delivering a Valentine to his third grade crush.

Warnings: traditional omegaverse

Puffball

Summary: (USUK) Arthur questions his choices in life when he ends up in a big, poofy, wedding dress.

Warnings: Cross-dressing ; traditional omegaverse

Hormonal

Summary: (USUK) He had been warned, but Arthur had never quite expected what pregnancy would do to him.  

Warnings: traditional omegaverse ; mpreg ; kinda nsfw but not really

Courting

Summary: (USUK) Arthur doesn’t realize just how traditional his Alpha beau truly is.

Warnings: traditional omegaverse

Late Night Call

Summary: (USUK) Alfred is away on a diplomatic mission. Across the vast lands, his Queen awaits his return.

Warnings: traditional omegaverse

Wolf Brothers

Summary: (CanFran Main + USUK heavily implied) Twin brothers who act differently still share the same wolf instinct. Matthew takes an interest in his brother’s nemesis.

Warnings: Stalking?

Holiday Cards(under cut)

(I used to make holiday cards with fics in them written from prompts given by the receiver for Valentines, Halloween and Xmas)

XMAS 2015(25 cards for 25 days before XMAS I still can’t believe I was able to do this lol)

Xmas Lights

Hogwarts Hot Chocolate

Anything Goes

All I Want For Christmas is You

Neighbor Next Door Xmas Extra

The Best Hot Chocolate in Town

Now Boarding Extra

A Winter Holiday

A Puny Christmas

Ugly Christmas Sweaters

Holiday Baking

Mistletoe Kisses

Xmas Gift (NND Extra)

London Date (NowB AU)

Christmas Exchange

Mr. Scrooge

Warm Cuddles

Teddy Bears

Let it Snow

XMAS Party

Cold Outside

Mistletoe Heart

Scents

A Present

Soulmate for Christmas

Valentines 2016 (5/5)

Third Grade Teacher

Summary: (USUK) Prompt given was: omegaverse

Warnings: traditional omegaverse

Proposal

Summary: (USUK) Prompt given was: Person A ties a forget-me-not around Person B’s finger as an engagement ring after asking them to marry them because they’re too poor to afford a ring at the moment. Also if you don’t mind could you do omegaverse?

Warnings: traditional omegaverse

Valentine Chocolate

Summary: (USUK) Prompt given was: misuse of chocolate

Warnings: traditional omegaverse

Long Distance

Summary: (USUK) Prompt given was: long distance relationship + omegaverse

Warnings: traditional omegaverse

First Meeting

Summary: (USUK) Prompt given was: first meeting after being online friends for so long! Omegaverse, fluffy and fretting Arthur, if possible

Warnings: traditional omegaverse

Fall/Halloween 2016(3/3)

Arthur the Teenage Witch - Pumpkins

Summary: (USUK) Prompt given was: messy pumpkin carving

Warnings: traditional omegaverse

Bump in the Night

Summary: (USUK) Inspired by this art done by the lovely elvenrain ; u ;

Warnings: traditional omegaverse

Spooky Pumpkins

Summary: (USUK) It’s Halloween night, Arthur is abandoned in a themed farm of horrors. Pumpkins somehow make it better.

Warnings: traditional omegaverse