#the way his hair was brushed we’ve had our hair sit like that and it’s UNCOMFORTABLE

[lovetogether]

Watching blue velvet pissed us off a little the whole time because Jeffrey has our exact hair and hair color. See this is fine it’s just when we see ourself in things we get overtaken by cuteness aggression sorta. Like okay that’s me wtf!!!

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

Walk The Line.

Carmen gets a little jealous. You don’t mind in the slightest.

roommate!carmen berzatto x female reader

warnings - smut. cursing. semi public antics.

word count - 2.5k

authors note - ask and you shall receive 😌. i’ll never get enough of roommate!carmy. i’ll be writing him forever. <3

as always, if you enjoyed this, please consider reblogging!! reblogs are the only way to circulate my writing, which generates more of it. feel free to send me a comment or an inbox, too!! thanks, my loves!! <3

series masterlist. masterlist. inbox.

He’s a little out of his depth, admittedly.

The invitation had been slid under your front door, pretty handwriting on creamy paper.

“A… party?”

“Does it say party, Carmen?”

“No, it says ‘mixer.’ What the fuck is a mixer?”

You laugh, scrubbing a mark off the final dish in the sink before placing it down in the drying rack. Carmy is sat on the counter across the kitchen, reading the invite over and over.

“Seriously, babe. The fuck does mixer mean? So it isn’t a party?”

You dry your hands and make your way over to take the paper from him, eyes scanning over it carefully.

“A mixer is like… a get to know each other thing. It’s sort of like a party, I guess, but not really. Just a casual gathering type situation.”

“Sounds fucking stupid,” he grumbles.

You smack his shoulder, rolling your eyes.

“Lighten up, asshole. It could be fun.”

“Fun? You think having a mixer with all the neighbours from our building on a Friday night is gonna be fun?”

“I think it sounds like an incredible time. My ideal evening. I can’t wait.”

You can’t even pretend not to laugh, grabbing onto his thigh to keep yourself balanced. He puts his hands on your shoulders, trying to look serious, but the grin fighting its way up his cheeks gives him away.

“You really wanna go?”

“Carm, if it’s terrible, we’ll just lie and say we’ve got plans elsewhere. We’ll run away screaming if we need to. It might be good for us though, to meet our neighbours properly. It’s good to get to know them, just in case we ever need anything.”

“What, like a cup of sugar? What is this, the thirties?”

“When you’re testing recipes and fucking them all up, you might be grateful to be able to nip next door and borrow a cup of sugar.”

“I don’t fuck recipes up.”

“No? Then why were you yelling at a lavender and oat crème brûlée last week?”

“It was mocking me,” he grumbles under his breath, hanging his head.

You can’t help but laugh, moving closer to stand between his manspread legs where he still sits on the counter. You brush a piece of hair back from his forehead, tracing your index finger in a featherlight touch down the bridge of his nose. He looks down at you, eyes glued to yours.

“I know for a fact you don’t have anything else planned on Friday,” you whisper.

He rolls his eyes but leans into your touch anyway, where you’re still tracing along the features of his face.

“You promise we can leave if it’s terrible?”

“We literally live in this building. We can just walk up the stairs and be home.”

He huffs, but relents.

“Fine. But please don’t leave me alone with all of the middle aged moms. They love me.”

“Oh, I’m sure they do,” you giggle, leaning in to rest your head on his chest. His arms encircle you, pulling you as close as he can.

Is this scene too intimate for roommates? Without a doubt.

Do either of you care? Not in the slightest.

✵  ✵    ·　 ✵ 　　 *  · ✵

It’s not as bad as he thought it’d be.

The middle aged moms have pulled through, actually. The lobby is decorated with fairy lights, tables covered in alcohol set up against the walls. Everyone has a drink in their hand, chatting and mingling amongst themselves.

You and Carmen walk downstairs a little late. He’d finished his shift and run home to shower and make himself look semi presentable before facing the neighbours.

“We need a signal,” he says suddenly, right as you reach the staircase. “In case of emergencies.”

“Pat your head.”

“Real subtle.”

“It doesn’t need to be subtle, it needs to be noticeable for me.”

“Fine,” he mutters, bumping his shoulder into yours. “Don’t leave me alone with that Erica lady. She scares me.”

“Yes sir,” you mock salute, slipping your hand into his momentarily. “You’ll be fine, Carmen. Like I said, we’ll just leave if it’s awful.”

It’s not awful, actually. It’s quite fun.

It’s nice to get to know the people in your building, seeing as you have lived there for a couple of years now. Carmen has been there even longer.

“Excuse me, sweetheart?”

You turn around to be met with an old lady, leaning carefully on her cane.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“I’m Dorothy. I live in 2B, and I just had to tell you that you look beautiful in your dress.”

You smile, pulling out a chair for her, which she takes gladly. You sit down next to her, spotting Carmy chatting with a couple of guys across the room.

“Thank you so much!”

You introduce yourself, telling her your name and apartment number.

“Ah yes,” she hums in recognition. “You live with your boyfriend who has all the tattoos.”

You almost choke on your drink.

“We’re just roommates,” you say eventually. “But yes, that’s him.”

“Oh, my apologies. I just assumed.”

You’re curious, suddenly. You know you shouldn’t be, but you can’t help yourself.

“Can I ask? Why you… thought we were dating?”

She chuckles knowingly before placing a hand on your knee.

“Honey, he’s got a hand on you at all times. He looks at you like you are the sun. Every time you walk past my window, you’re both laughing. Sounds like love to me.”

Her bluntness is refreshing, if not a little intimidating. No one will say it how it is more than a little old lady who can’t mind her business.

“We, uh… we’re close. He’s a good roommate. A good friend.”

She doesn’t look convinced in the slightest, chuckling as she pats your leg.

“Uh huh. That’s what I said about my husband - real good friend. We’ve been married 58 years.”

You smile, shaking your head.

“Is he here with you?”

“He’s upstairs. He can’t really leave the apartment, these days.”

“You know, if you ever need anything, me and Carmen would be happy to help.”

“No, sweetheart, I couldn’t ask you to-”

“-you’re not asking me, I’m offering. Carmen is an award winning chef at one of the best restaurants in this city. He’d be more than happy to make a meal or two when needed. And I can pick you guys up stuff from the grocery store when I go, too.”

“Thank you,” she whispers, grabbing your hand in her frail one. “You’re good kids, you two.”

You grin at her, squeezing her hand gently.

“You know where I am, if you need me.”

She nods, standing up carefully.

“I’m going to go see if that handsome Jeremy will come and fix my shower for me. He did promise.”

You laugh, watching as she makes a beeline for one of the dads stood in a huddle. You catch eyes with Carmy, who’s still chatting away with a few of the younger guys. He winks at you, all cheeky and carefree, and you can’t help but flush, heat prickling across your skin. You shake your head, smiling, winking back.

Suddenly, there’s a hand on your bicep. You spin sideways, to be met with the sight of a very handsome man. Dark hair, big brown eyes, tall - he looks slightly like a movie star you can’t quite remember the name of. You crane your neck to meet his gaze, smiling softly.

He holds out his hand to introduce himself.

“Hi, I’m Daniel.”

You tell him your name, trying to ignore how his hand engulfs yours.

“Pretty name for a pretty girl.”

You laugh, shaking your head.

“Have you lived here long? Think I’d remember a face like yours.”

Now he shakes his head.

“A month, maybe. I live in 6C. I’ve been working a lot, so haven’t had any time for introductions.”

“Ah. What do you do?”

“I’m a model.”

Of course he is.

“What do you do?”

As you start to tell him, his eyes fix on yours, not leaving for a moment. He listens carefully, both of you blocking out the noise and focusing on each other.

Turns out, Daniel is good company. The two of you find a spot in the corner, away from the noise and the wine drunk moms. The two of you laugh, joke, and talk about Chicago as if you’re old friends. Time slips away from you easily, conversation flowing with minimal effort.

“I don’t want to leave, trust me… but I have a super early call time tomorrow. If you wanted, we could grab a drink sometime, somewhere that’s not our buildings lobby?”

You laugh, nodding.

“Yeah, I’d like that. It was nice to meet you, Daniel.”

“You too. Here,” he says, handing you a small business card with his number on, “text me.”

“I might do just that,” you tease as he walks away grinning.

You’re on your way to grab another drink when a hand slinks around your wrist.

“Hi, Carmen.”

You don’t even have to turn to know who it is, recognising the feeling of his calloused hand against your soft skin.

“Where’s your friend gone?” he all but grumbles.

“He’s gone home, got to be up early for work.”

“Haven’t we all.”

“Ooo, okay Mr Attitude. You’re not having a good night? You didn’t give me the signal.”

“Would you have noticed if I did?”

You spin around to face him properly now.

“Yes, I would have. Because we’re in a tiny fucking lobby and not a football stadium, Carmen.”

He huffs.

“Didn’t think you’d notice if the building fell down, the way you were lost in his eyes.”

“I know it’s a foreign concept to you, Carmen, but eye contact is actually a very important part of conversation. Try it some time.”

Carmy rolls his eyes, grip on your wrist tightening.

“Come on,” he mumbles. “Wanna show you something.”

He practically drags you up the stairs, and up some more, and up some more. Eventually, you reach the roof.

The sun is just setting, casting the city in a warm orange glow. Everything is so calm, so peaceful, so serene. It’s beautiful.

You’re admiring the view when suddenly your feet are no longer on the ground. Carmy has you over his shoulder, carrying you across the rooftop to the brick wall.

“The fuck are you doing?” you cry as he finally puts you down.

He smashes his lips to yours, choosing to shut you up rather than answer you. You kiss back eagerly, confused but not disappointed at the turn in events. Slipping your hands into his hair, you tug him into you, groaning as he grabs at your ass.

“Carmen,” you breathe, “why don’t we just go home?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” he mumbles against your neck, pressing kisses wherever he can reach. When he bites down, you smack his shoulder.

“No marks, asshole. The fuck is up with you?”

Again, he says nothing, just slips his hand under your dress to run his fingers over your underwear. You part your legs instantly, leaning back into the wall to steady yourself.

“Carmen, someone’s gonna see if they come up here.”

“Well then you better come quickly.”

He slips your panties to the side, running his fingers through your wet heat. You keen, knees buckling already.

“Oh baby,” he chuckles. “This all for Daniel?”

It all clicks for you suddenly.

“That’s what-” you choke as he slides a finger into you. “That’s what - fuck - has you so riled up? Daniel?”

“Don’t say his name when I’m knuckle deep, baby. It’s rude.”

You attempt to scoff, but it comes out as more of a moan when he presses his thumb to your clit, circling carefully.

“Am I not giving you what you need, honey? Is that it? Greedy girl just wants more, so she looks elsewhere to get it?”

“No,” you justify quickly. “You know that’s not true.”

“If you can still form sentences, I’m clearly doing something wrong.”

He slips a second finger in, curling them exactly the way he knows you like.

“Carm.”

“He couldn’t make you feel like this, babe. You and I both know it.”

You’re nodding, fingers gripping his shirt tightly as if you’re scared he’s going to walk away. His lips press into your neck again, nipping along the expanse of skin.

“Say it.”

“Hmm?”

You’re dazed, mind hazy with Carmen Carmen Carmen Carmen Carmen.

“Say. It.”

He punctuates his words by curling his fingers harshly. You’re seeing stars, legs giving out.

“He - he… fuck, Carmen, please.”

“So close, honey. Try again.”

You know he won’t relent. He never does, when he’s in a mood. You have to just give him what he wants.

“He couldn’t make me feel this good, Carm. It’s all for you, only you.”

“Good girl. Knew you could do it.”

With that, he speeds up his fingers, his other arm snaking around your back to keep you standing upright.

“Give it to me, baby. Know you want to. That’s it, atta girl.”

“Come for me, there we go. Can feel you.”

“Good girl, good fuckin’ girl. So pretty like this.”

You fall over the edge, clenching like a vice around his fingers as you throw your head back. There’s a sheen of sweat coating your skin, chest heaving with every breath you take. Your vision goes white for a second, gripping onto Carmy’s biceps for dear life.

You rest your forehead against his chest, panting as you try to recover.

“Jealous Carmen is kinda mean,” you mumble into his shirt.

He laughs, wrapping his arms around you.

“You know I didn’t mean it, right? You’re free to date whoever you want. You could do a lot worse than Daniel the hot supermodel.”

You pull back, looking at him carefully.

“I know. I just… I don’t know if I’ll go. Seems a bit unfair to date him when my mind is on someone else.”

You both know exactly who you mean. You both also know that tipsy on a rooftop is not the place to have that conversation.

“Did you ever master the lavender crème brûlée?”

He chuckles, not expecting the sudden change in subject.

“Yes, I did.”

“Do we have any left?”

“We don’t. But I did make chocolate soufflé this afternoon, if that’ll satisfy your sweet tooth.”

“Fuck, yes,” you grin, leaning in to kiss him tenderly.

“I’ll make you a crème brûlée in work tomorrow. Promise.”

“Will you make two extras?”

He quirks a brow in confusion, so you continue.

“We’ve got two elderly neighbours. They’re not very mobile, so I said we’d drop stuff off every now and again.”

He smiles at you, all soft and melted.

“Of course. That heart of yours is too big for your chest, you know.”

You take hold of his hand, placing it there.

“Only sometimes.”

He kisses you again before throwing an arm over your shoulders.

“Let’s go eat chocolate soufflés and drink the rest of that wine you bought.”

“You’re a mind reader,” you laugh, making your way downstairs.

Maybe he is, you think later. You don’t mind in the slightest.

[greynatomy]

maybe this time

alessia russo x reader

i haven’t written in a few weeks, but i couldn’t get this song/idea out of my head

inspired by : maybe this time - sarah geronimo

———

Running out the door, paper in hand, she made her way to another house, obnoxiously knocking on the door. Getting impatient, she knocks a bit louder, the door opening seconds later.

“Hi! Bye!” She greets the woman, running past her and up the stairs, barging into a room like she owned it.

“Woah, Alessia! You can’t just come in without knocking! What if I was naked?”

“Oh, please. You’re acting like it’s something I haven’t seen before.”

Your mouth opens and closes, speechless. “That was because you barged into my room! Like right now!”

“Anyway, guess what I got?”

“What is it?”

“You’re looking at the Tar Heel’s newest football player!”

“Tar Heel? What’s that?” You’ve not heard of a team called the Tar Heels in your neighborhood.

“It’s the school I applied for in the states and got  a full scholarship!”

“The states?”

“Did I not tell you? I applied for a school in North Carolina and I got in! Isn’t that just amazing?”

“Oh. When do you leave?”

“In a month.”

A month.

The weeks leading up to Alessia leaving home went differently than what she thought it would be. Normally being attached to one another, you were distant and she didn’t know why.

Sitting at the table, eating dinner with her parents, her mum speaks up.

“Are you sure you want to go all the way to North Carolina honey?”

“Yeah, why?”

“What about Y/N?”

Her eyebrows furrow. “What about her?”

“How did she take the news?”

“Pretty well I’d say.”

“Really?”

“Why?”

“Just wondering cause you’ve both been talking about going to Uni together, living on your own together, but now she’s staying here and you’re going away.”

Alessia didn’t say a word the rest of the dinner, her mind occupied on thoughts about you.

‘Was that why you’ve been distant?’ She thought.

A week before she had to leave, you’re stood outside her house and knocked on the door. After a few seconds, the door opens, revealing Alessia.

“Hi.”

She looked shocked to see you. “Hello. What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to know if you want to go on a walk with me?” Nodding, she puts her shoes on and follows you out. “I wanted to apologize. I haven’t been fair and started ignoring you. I just didn’t know what to think.”

“I should apologize too. I should’ve told you I was applying for schools out of the country.”

You both make it to the park, sitting on a bench facing the playground.

“Yeah. I don’t know when you decided on that because all our lives we’ve talked about going to University together, living together and all that stuff, but if you think it’s the right decision for you then I am okay with it.”

“I know it’s the right decision for me and I am sorry for leaving you here.”

“Just don’t forget about me when you’re all famous.” You nudge your shoulder into her’s. “I’ll text you everyday.”

“And I will do the same.”

You were back to being inseparable the whole week. Making up for lost times and the times you won’t have for a while in the future.

The week goes by fast. Here you are, standing at the airport, by her gate, watching Alessia embrace her family goodbye. Letting go of her dad, she turns to face you. 

Her best friend. Her almost something.

She approached you, dragging her suitcases behind her, eyes locked on yours with a mix of sadness and something else you couldn’t quite name.

“So,” she started, her voice soft, “this is it.”

You swallowed hard. “Yeah,” you managed to say, throat tight. “I guess it is.”

For a moment, you both just stood there, silence heavy between you, filled with the unspoken words, the missed opportunities, the what-ifs. You reached out, brushing a stray lock of hair from her face, your touch lingering more than it should.

“I’m going to miss you,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

Alessia tried to smile, but it wavered, her eyes stinging with unshed tears. “I’ll miss you too,” she replied, and it was the understatement of the century. She would miss everything about you—your laugh, the way you always knew how to make her smile, the way you looked at her when you thought she wasn’t paying attention. She was.

Alessia took a deep breath, as if steeling herself. “Y/N, I—” she started, but the announcement for her flight cut her off. You both jumped slightly, reality crashing down around you.

You let out a shaky laugh. “Timing, huh?”

Alessia nodded, biting her lip. “Always perfect.”

You pulled her into a tight hug, arms wrapping around her like they never wanted to let go. She buried her face in your chest, breathing the familiar scent of you, trying to memorize it, to hold onto it.

“Keep in touch?” you murmured into her hair, still holding her close.

“Of course,” she said, voice muffled into your jacket. “But it won’t be the same.”

“No,” you agreed, pulling back slightly to look at her. “It won’t.”

You stood there for a moment, faces inches apart, the world around them blurring into nothingness. Your gaze dropped to her lips, and for a second, she thought—hoped—you might close the distance.

But you didn’t.

Instead, you leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead, a gentle, lingering touch that said all the things you couldn’t.

“I’ll see you soon,” you said, though they both knew that “soon” was an unknown promise.

Alessia nodded, blinking back tears as you pulled away completely. You watched as she turned and headed toward the gate, every step taking her further from you. You wanted to call out to her, to ask her to stay, to tell her how you really felt—but the words lodged in your throat, too heavy to speak.

And then, just before she disappeared through the gate, she turned around one last time. Their eyes met across the distance, and in that moment, Alessia knew that things would never be the same.

But at least, she thought as you gave her a small, sad smile, they had this. This moment. This goodbye.

And maybe, just maybe, it was enough.

As Alessia boarded his plane, you stood there, rooted to the spot, watching until the plane disappeared into the clouds. you finally let the tears fall, feeling the weight of everything you hadn’t said.

Maybe someday, you’d find the courage to tell her. But for now, you whispered your feelings into the empty space where she used to be, hoping that somehow, she could still hear them.

“I love you, Alessia. I always have.”

But the words came too late, carried away by the winds of time and distance.

And as you walked away from the gate, you felt the emptiness left behind by the goodbye that wasn’t quite enough, and the love that was never quite spoken.

You felt a presence behind you, a hind coming to rest on the back of your neck, gripping tightly.

“You’ll see her again soon,” it was Alessia’s dad making a promise you didn’t want to hear. “This isn’t goodbye.

Holding back tears, he pulled you close, walking back to the car park, trying to forget the words that went unspoken.

—

Practice just ended and Alessia was sitting on the grass with Lotte and Emily taking her boots off.

“Have you’ve read the news lately?” Lotte asked the two.

“No, why? What’s happening?”

“There’s this virus going around and we might have to go on lockdown.”

“What about football? Are we still able to play if we do go into lockdown?”

“That’s also unknown. Everything is crazy right now.”

Not even a few days later they get an email from the athletics department stating a cancellation of the sports currently in season, which unfortunately for Alessia, was her sport. 

Thankfully she had a backup plan just in case.

Grabbing her phone, she dials a number, waiting for the person on the other side to pickup.

“Mum,” she started, packing the last of her clothes in her suitcase, “I’m coming home.”

—

Alessia Russo stepped off the plane, her heart racing with a mixt of excitement and nerves. It had been three years since she’d left home for her scholarship in North Carolina. Three years since she had seen her family, her friends, and the person she thought about almost every day since she left.

The familiar chill of the English air greeted her as she exited airport. Her brother was waiting at the gate, waving enthusiastically. She hugged him tightly, comforted by his familiar scents and warmth. It felt good to be home.

The drive to her childhood home was filled with chatter about her time in America, her football team’s victories, and the memories they had missed sharing. But even as Alessia laughed and talked, her thoughts kept drifting to one person—Y/N.

You’ve had been her best friend, her confidant, and her first love. You both had spent countless hours together before she left, and parting had been harder than anything she had ever done. She had promised to keep in touch, and they did for a while. But life had a way of pulling them in different directions. Football was taking up all her time, throw in a few of her classes, she felt like she didn’t have time for anything. She didn’t mean to do it on purpose, as time went on, the calls became less frequent, the messages shorter, until one day, they simply stopped.

Alessia’s parents had thrown a welcome home dinner for her, and she was eager to see everyone again, but mostly she was eager to see you. She had imagined what it would be like a thousand times—how you would look, what she would say to you. She wondered if you had missed her as much as she had missed you.

The dinner was in full swing by the time they arrived. The house was filled with the laughter of her parents, aunts and uncles, the clinking of glasses, and the scent of home-cooked food. Alessia was enveloped in hugs and well-wishes, but as she scanned the room, she realized that you wasn’t there.

“Have you seen Y/N?” she asked her mum.

She exchanged a quick glance around before looking away, something unspoken passing between them. “I… I haven’t seen her in a while, Less.”

Alessia’s heart sank, a sinking feeling growing in the pit of her stomach. “Oh, okay. Maybe she’ll come by later,” she said, trying to sound hopeful.

As the night went on, Alessia tried to enjoy herself, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Her parents eventually pulled her aside into the quiet of the living room.

“Alessia,” her mother began, her voice soft, “there’s something we need to tell you.”

Her father cleared his throat, his expression solemn. “Y/N isn’t coming tonight, love.”

“Why not?” Alessia asked, her voice trembling.

“They… they enlisted in the navy a year ago,” her mother explained, her eyes filled with concern. “She’s deployed now.”

Alessia felt like the ground had shifted beneath her. You had enlisted? The Y/N who hated violence, who always dreamed of traveling the world, who said they wanted to make a difference in a different way? It didn’t make sense.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“We didn’t want to worry you while you were so far away,” her father said gently. “And Y/N didn’t want to burden you with it. They wanted you to focus on football and your future.”

Tears welled up in Alessia’s eyes. She had come back expecting to pick up where they left off, but now… now everything had changed.

“Do you know where they are?” she asked, her voice breaking.

Her parents exchanged a glance. “We don’t know the exact details, but they’re safe. They’re doing important work.”

Alessia nodded, though her heart was breaking. She had imagined so many different scenarios for this moment, but this… this wasn’t one of them.

She excused herself from the room, retreating to her old bedroom. Everything was just as she had left it, but it didn’t feel the same. She sat on the edge of her bed, looking out the window at the darkened sky. Somewhere, you were out there, and she couldn’t reach you.

She pulled out her phone and scrolled through their old messages, the ones she hadn’t been able to delete. A tear slipped down her cheek as she re-read your last text from months ago: “Take care, Lessi. I’ll always be with you, no matter where life takes us.”

She didn’t get to reply back, not even noticing that you’d texted her and that being the last text you had sent. In a way, it was you saying goodbye, not knowing how long you’d be gone for.

Alessia held the phone to her chest, closing her eyes. She didnt regret many things, but pulling away from you was her biggest regret, wishing she could turn back time and not let things get in the way, no matter how important it was because to her, you were most important.

—

Alessia went to play for Manchester United with little to no crowds, but she loved it. She knew she made the right decision for her career coming back home early, but there was always a you sized hole in her heart.

These are milestones she wished that you were here for, but she can only blame herself for it.

A few years playing in Manchester, Alessia got an opportunity she couldn’t turn down and here she was in London, having unpacked her things from the countless boxes littered throughout the apartment.

Needing a break from all the unpacking, Alessia decided to take a walk through her neighborhood, through London to familiarize herself to her home the next couple of years. The sun was setting, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink. This has always been her favorite time of the day, but it somehow felt bittersweet. There was something in the air— a nostalgic feeling that tugged at her heart in a way she couldn’t quite explain.

She walked by countless people, not giving them any mind. It was crowded, people bumping into her left and right until one person’s scent filled the air around her. 

It smelled like home.

Quickly turning around, Alessia tries to find that familiarity, lightly pushing people away who blocked her path. She was lost, head swiveling around, hoping to find -what- who she needed, when she lays her eyes on the bridge. 

A loner figure leaning against it, staring out, back to Alessia. It was you. Still dressed in uniform, clean and crisp, contrasting the setting sun. Your once long hair was now cut short, looking more mature, more grounded. But even from behind, Alessia would recognize you anywhere. The way you held yourself with quiet confidence—it was unmistakable.

For a moment, Alessia felt like she was eighteen again, in the airport, walking away from you, unknowingly being the last time she’d ever see you, ‘til right now. She remembered the way her heart ached, the way she held her tears from falling down her face, wishing she would’ve turned back around and ran into your arms, and say that she wasn’t leaving after all.

But Alessia didn’t turn back. She kept walking, disappearing into the unknown future that didn’t include you.

Alessia’s feet moved on their own, carrying her closer to you, until she was just a few steps away. Her heart pounded in her chest, anxiety and anticipation radiated off her body. It’s been so long. Would you even recognize her? Would you care?

“Y/N?” She called out. Her voice was soft, almost drowned out by the noise of the city, but you heard it. She saw you body stiffen, almost scared to turn around, but you did, as if not daring to believe your ears.

When your eyes met, it was like time stood still. Your face was a mix of surprise and something else—something deeper, more vulnerable. Alessia felt a lump form in her throat, feeling a bit overwhelmed with emotions.

“Alessia,” You said, voice barely above a whisper. You blinked, as if you’re trying to figure out of your eyes were playing tricks on you. “It’s-it’s you.”

“Yeah. It’s me. And it’s you.”

You took and step closer, your gaze sweeping over Alessia’s face, taking in every detail as if you were trying to make up for the years you had lost. “You look… you look good,” you stated, a soft smile tugging at your lips. It was the same smile that made Alessia’s heart skip a beat, and she felt it happen again now, after all this time.

“So do you,” Alessia replied, voice trembling slightly. “You look… different. Older. But still you.”

You chuckled. There goes Alessia’s heart again. 

“I guess the navy will do that to you. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “Way too long.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence filled with all the words that were left unsaid over the years. You wanted to say so much, to ask why she stoped replying to your messages, declining all your calls, but most importantly, to say that you missed her. But the words were stuck in your throat, too heavy to push past.

Alessia seemed to sense this, because she took another step forward, closing the distance in between. “Y/N,” she said softly, yourself melting from the way she said your name. “I-I never meant to disappear like that. I thought about you all the time, but… I was scared.”

“Scared of what?” You asked, voice cracking as you were finally able to ask the question that haunted you for so long.

“Of what I felt. So I distracted myself with more work, more football to block everything out,” Alessia admitted, not being able to look you in the eyes. “That you’d forgotten about me. I thought… maybe if I pulled away first, it would be easier to face you when I’d find out that you had moved on.”

Alessia felt a tear slip down her cheek, quickly wiping it away, but not before you noticed. Your expression softened, and you reached out, hesitating for a moment before gently brushing the back of your fingers against Alessia’s cheek. She melted at you touch.

“I never forgot you,” You said, voice choked with emotion. “How could I?”

“I’m so sorry. It wasn’t fair of me to-to ignore you. I should’ve communicated better. I should’ve been braver. I…I—”

“—Hey, hey.” You interrupted her rambling:

“I was a coward.”

“No!” You gently, but firmly, grabbed her face with both your hands, pulling her close and forcing her to look into your eyes. “You are not a coward,” Your voice soft. “You were just afraid and that’s okay.”

“But I lost you even when I was trying to prevent that from ever happening.”

“Who said you lost me? Cause you haven’t.”

“You joined the navy when you had never mentioned being interested it it at all!”

“That’s not on you. That was all me. No matter how pathetic it sounds, I couldn’t go through with going to Uni without you when it was our-my dream to experience it with you.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“And I forgive you even if you have nothing to apologize for. I mean look at you now,” You step back, gesturing your hands as if to present her, “Alessia Russo, European champion and back heel queen.”

“Stop it.” Alessia covers her face, not wanting you to see it reddening.

You hold your hand out towards her, hoping she gets the hint. Fortunately for you, she does. holding her hand, you lead her away from the bridge. 

“You know,” you started, leading her to a nice path with less people, “you didn’t leave me behind, no matter what you think. You were always with me, in here.” You placed your free hand over your heart, your gaze locked with Alessia’s.

Alessia looked at you for a moment, as if she was searching something in your eyes. And then, slowly, she leaned in, pressing her forehead against yours. “Maybe this time… maybe we can finally get it right.”

You felt a warmth spread throughout your body at her words. “No more beating around the bush?”

“No,” Alessia answered, voice soft. She closed her eyes when she saw your face leaning more towards her’s. “I don’t want to let you go, not when we’ve been given a second chance.”

You felt your heart swell with hope, nodding, her smile widens. “Then let’s give this a go. Let’s see where this takes us.”

You led her away again, talking as you walked, catching up on everything that you missed in each other’s lives. You told her about your time in the navy, the places you had seen, the people you had met. And Alessia shared her own stories, how America was, her football career, the friends she made.

All the walking and talking, Alessia hadn’t noticed that she led you all the way to her apartment.

“Oh,” Alessia’s lips turned to a frown, realizing her time with you has come to and end. “I guess this is me.”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks for tonight,” Alessia said softly, voice tinged with a bittersweet note that tugged at your heart. Her blue eyes met your brown ones, and for a moment, it felt like you were kids again, sneaking out late at night to watch the stars .

“Yeah, it was… amazing,” You replied, shoving your hands in your pocket. You didn’t want to leave. 

Alessia turns to look at you, her face turning serious. “I know we can’t just pick up where we left off,” she said, her voice gentle. “But I want you to try. I want to be in your life’s If you’ll have me.”

“Of course I’ll have you. I want that too and everything more. I am yours Alessia. I always have been.” Silence filled the air around you, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. It was a silence filled with comfort. 

“It’s late,” Lesia broke the silence, hands fiddling with her keys. “You should probably go.”

“I should,” You replied, but instead of leaving, you stepped closer to her, leaving no space in between.

The air between the both of you changed, and before she could think, before any doubt creeps in her head, you leaned in. Your lips hovered just above hers, giving her a chance to pull away. But she didn’t. She couldn’t.

You closed the gap, a gasp makes its way out of her mouth. Her arms make their way around your neck, pulling you closer. This first kiss tentative, almost fragile, as if afraid that one wrong move would break the moment. The kiss was deepened, pouring every missed opportunity, every hidden feeling into it. 

When you finally broke apart, breathless and hearts racing, you rested your foreheads together, the weight of your shared history and newfound hope settling around them. 

“We should’ve done that ages ago,” Alessia said with a laugh. 

“Yeah,” you agreed, thumbs brushing across her cheeks. “But I think now was the right time.”

Alessia bit her bottom lip, hesitant to say what she wants to say. “Do you… do you want to come in?”

You didn’t have to think twice. “Yeah,” you said, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips. “I’d like that.”

Walking through the threshold felt like the start of their new lives. Two old friends who met again after years, wearing older faces, finding the love they had from years ago.

And for the first time in a long time, Alessia felt like maybe, just maybe, everything was falling into place. 

[tragedybunny]

Sunlight and Stars in the Sky part 2 - Astarion x F!Reader

First part - here

Weary and embarrassed you try to put distance between yourself and Astarion. But you slowly come to realize things are changing between the two of you.

Astarion is gone when you wake up, probably out hunting, and you breathe a sigh of relief. At least you won't be able to embarrass yourself further. Throwing yourself at him, being refused by him of all people, forcing him to let you into his tent to calm down, and that nonsense you'd spouted, gods he must've been so annoyed with you. 

All he wanted from you was a bit of fun, some enjoyable interludes during this journey you'd found yourselves on. You weren't so naive that you thought there was more to it. Yet he'd somehow found a little place in your heart. Which you had stupidly exposed to him last night with that stars in the sky drivel. If he kept his distance from now on, you'd know why. 

Head pounding from the wine, you fumble around for your boots. Slipping them on, you hurry back to your tent, and throw yourself under the covers, glad you didn't run into Astarion. The rest of the night is filled with fitful sleep, the drink making you nauseous and your memories driving you almost to tears. When the sun at last rises, the camp awakens muted and somber. Unable to face him, you wait until the scent of breakfast fills the air to finally leave your tent. 

Naturally he's somehow right there. "Good morning Darling," even he seems muted after everything, probably worried you'll be all over him again, "feeling better?"

"A little, sorry for the trouble last night," you murmur hastily, trying not to look at him before rushing off, unable to make yourself listen to his conciliatory response. 

Breakfast and breaking camp take far longer than they should and your solemn crew takes to the road that leads beyond the monastery to the shadow cursed lands much later than they should. As seems to be your fate though, not even a simple road is easy, and a group of undead bar the way. Body and mind aching, you fumble through the fight, spells missing their target, and reactions slowed. You don’t see the monster that’s crept up on you until it’s nearly too late to dodge its flailing attack. Suddenly the earth lurches and you’re facing the dirt. Panic constricts your chest, death is so close, even all you managed to overcome wasn't enough. Rolling, you try to get your feet under you, and find your assailant hovering over you. Your lungs inhale what is likely your final breath and you tense just a crossbow bolt sprouts from its forehead. It stumbles back and Karlach’s axe removes its head from its body. 

Most of the gory sight is blocked from your view as Astarion appears over you, crossbow back over his shoulder, pale hand outstretched and brow furrowed. “Are you alright my Dear?”

You wince and take his hand, twice as humiliated as before. Reaching a sitting position, you stop, your body unwilling to go further. Everything from the Nautiloid, to the Creche, to making a fool of yourself, bears down on you, and it’s all too much. One win at the Grove amongst a tide of wounding losses. Hands rub at your eyes to push away the tears. “Sweetheart,” Astarion is suddenly crouching next to you, brushing your hair out of your face. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you shake your head, pulling away from that touch that you want to be real affection so badly. 

“You look exhausted.” Before you can protest, he’s turning to the rest of the group. “We should stop for the night.”

“Tsk'va, we’ve barely made progress,” Lae’zel snaps, any good humor she's developed gone for the moment, “we still have worms in our head, did you forget that whilst basking in the sun.” 

His eyes narrow for a moment, and he looks like he’ll shout back, but he contains it. “We’ve all had a hard time, and we’re in rough shape. Let’s get some rest and start fresh in the morning.” 

They don’t need to be told he’s talking about you, collapsed in the dirt, and you can feel their eyes turn on you. “That sounds eminently reasonable," Gale chimes in and the rest assent.

"Let's go find a nice spot," Karlach says brightly, taking Wyll by the hand and leaving the main road. 

The others follow in their wake until just the two of you are left. Reluctantly, you start to get your feet under you, feeling as weary as he says you were, and silently start off towards them. The crunch of his boots tell you Astarion is just behind you, a small mercy as he can't see the state you're in. Your chest aches, you can't seem to banish the tears that keep threatening, and nothing feels like it has a point anymore. When you catch up with the others, they're already setting camp for the night, with Gale prepping dinner with as much cheer as he can muster and the others barely speaking at all. The whole of it seems like too much and you collapse on a log near the fire, Astarion joining you seconds later. 

Shifting closer, he looks like he's about to speak when the sounds of an argument draws your attention and he just sighs instead. "The Underdark is backtracking, a waste of time and dangerous." Lae’zel is shouting at Shadowheart. 

"Well it might deter the interference of your people," she returns.

"That is a point, this road is already dangerous," Halsin chimes in. 

"What do you think," Wyll has wandered over from setting up his tent and turned to you. For the second time today, your whole group is looking to you, only this time they're expecting that leadership you've shown them this whole journey. 

"I…" you just can't find it in you.

"Gods," Astarion growls, "can you all not make one simple decision without her? She's tired and you're putting this on her. It's bad enough you expect her help solving all your petty problems."

"But it's fine if it's your petty problems, right Astarion," Gale accuses, his face dark. You know his problem is far from petty. 

"Say that again," Astarion hisses and does something you've never seen him do to one of your companions, he snarls and bares his fangs. 

"Astarion," you scold, stirred from your stupor finally and he gives you a wounded look. "Let's just get some dinner in everyone. Then we can discuss the Underdark." They need you, it would hardly do to give up now. 

"Right, you heard the lady, give her some space until dinner is done," Karlach waves them off and gives you a wink.��

Part of you expects Astarion to be angry with you for the reproach but instead he gently takes your hands in his. "How about I get the tent set up, you can rest before dinner. Or you could stay there the whole night, you don't owe them an answer." 

The tent, your mind reels. It's his tent and he's never been fond of anyone infringing on his space. Is he still feeling sorry for you? You cringe, and pull your hands from his. "I can stay in my own tent."

"Oh," he seems to shrink in on himself. "I had been wondering since you were gone when I got back last night. Did I do something wrong? I admit I'm new to having someone close like that.” His voice is quiet and unsure, and nothing like what you’re used to. “Or maybe it's my temperature, I know I'm not exactly very warm," he offers and laughs somewhat awkwardly.

"I just don't want to…" For the first time today, you really look at him, and you don't see the same Astarion you've been traveling with. His eyes are wide and soft, his expression full of hope and longing and not scorn for the world around him. You find his hands where you left them, as though waiting for yours. Something has changed, something that makes your heart flutter and chases away the darkness of your thoughts. You were going to say pretend; pretend he wanted you there, pretend you didn't make an idiot out of yourself; but that doesn't feel right anymore. "Impose," you slide your hands back into his and small smile ghosts over his features. 

"Love, I told you last night, you're not imposing. Well you were very drunk," a small kiss on your cheek makes you flush, “perhaps you don’t remember.” 

“Some rest is probably a good idea,” you admit, giving in to the ethereal moment that seems to be burgeoning between the two of you. 

He squeezes your hands before letting them go. “I told you so,” his usual smirk is back in place but it’s softer than before. 

While he’s gone you try to temper yourself, this could be temporary, and you should focus on your very grim situation, your losses and setbacks are still real. But it all vanishes the moment he’s leading you back to the tent and settling you into a pile of pillows and blankets, some of them from your own supplies. Your things, mingled with his, the two of you, joined together. With your approval very visible from the smile you can't hide, he joins you, pulling you into his arms so your head rests against his chest. From around the fire you hear voices, friendly banter, spirits are lifting, hope is prevailing. You’re glad but still so tired, and it’s so nice here with Astarion, a little peace for just the two of you. “Thank you, I really needed this,” you murmur sleepily. 

“Think nothing of it, my Sunlight,” he kisses the top of your head. 

It brings back the other night, but there’s no awkwardness for you now, you spoke true, no matter what happens from now on, he’ll always be the light of all your nights, the beauty out of darkness. “My Starry Sky.” 

He gives a small hum of approval, “I am growing fond of that nickname,” and he holds you tighter. There’s a note of sadness you think in his voice, but you’re almost asleep, maybe you imagined it. 

[lynzishell]

The Past 💛 Atlas

My hand is resting on Ash’s chest as we lie together in comfortable silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts. The quiet is soothing and I’m grateful he doesn’t feel the need to fill it with conversation, that we can just be here together.

Slowly, I begin tracing my fingers lightly across his collarbone, then up his arm stretched over his head, and back again. He closes his eyes and smiles contentedly, so I continue, brushing my fingertips back across his chest and down his abdomen.

His skin is so soft and pale, it reminds me of the flowering dogwoods that would bloom in spring at the park near the house where I grew up. I read about them in school once and became fascinated by them. I would sit in the grass underneath them and run my fingers along the white petal-like blossoms, examining the tiny flowers at their center.

I make a mental note to tell Ash about them sometime. I bet he’d love them, want to study them and draw them.

The velvety texture of his skin is contrasted by a coarse trail of jet-black hair. I follow the trail down, stopping as my hand grazes past two small scars low on his belly, just inside his hips. “What are these from?” I ask.

He glances down briefly and then rests his head back, “They’re from a hysterectomy.”

“Oh. So, you can’t—?”

“Mm-mm, you can’t get me pregnant or anything.”

“Good to know. So, if you want kids one day, you’d just have to adopt?”

“Not necessarily. I had my eggs frozen, just in case. So, I could have a biological child, I’d just need a surrogate.”

“Really? Do you think you’ll do it? Have kids?”

“Oh, god, I don’t know. I had them stored for ten years, so I have plenty of time to decide. It’s not really something I’m worried about right now.”

“Makes sense,” I whisper as my hand resumes its journey, brushing my fingertips up and down one thigh and then the other before making my way back up again, all the way up to his face, turning it gently toward me. When he opens his eyes again, before I can stop myself, I say, “Ash, you’re perfect, you know that?”

His eyebrows stitch together in a pained expression, “Atlas…”

I know. I know it’s not fair. I can’t say things like that if we’re “just friends”. He doesn’t have to tell me. It’s written all over his face. But look at us, we’ve already crossed so many lines tonight that the walls I’d built up are crumbling around me, and I’m not ready to put them back. Not yet. Not tonight. So, even if I shouldn’t, I have to ask, “Will you stay? Will you sleep here tonight?”

Putting his arms around me, he smiles, “Yeah, of course I’ll stay.”

“Thank you,” I exhale, relieved. "Can I get you anything? Do you want some water?"

“Yes, actually, that would be amazing.”

“Okay, I’ll go get some.”

“Thanks. And, um, can I use your bathroom?”

“Yeah, it’s just out the door to your left.”

In the kitchen, I drink down a large glass of water in one breath, practically gasping by the time I finish it. As I refill it, along with a second glass for Ash, I turn my head slightly to smell myself… just in case. Thankfully, I don’t stink yet, but I’ve accumulated enough layers of sweat throughout the night that I’m certain I’ll be ripe by morning.

I glance at the bathroom door, debating, wondering if it’s a step too far, too intimate, but decide to ask him anyway.

When the door opens, I walk over to meet him on his way out.  I hand him the glass of water and he drinks it nearly as quickly as I did. “Thank you,” he says, breathless.

“Are you tired?” I ask.

“Not really, why?”

“Do you want to take a shower with me?”

“That shower?” he points to the door he just came out of, “Is there even enough room for two people?”

“Not really,” I shake my head with a smile, knowing it’s ridiculous, but still hoping he says yes.

He considers for a moment, searching my face as if he’s waiting for me to tell him I’m joking. When I don’t, he replies with a shrug, “Fuck it, sure.”

Some find it strange, but I enjoy showering with people. It’s intimate in its own way. I mean, aside from the obvious, like being naked in a small space not really meant for two people, placing hands on an arm or waist or back as we maneuver around each other. That has its own pleasures too, of course, but I like getting a glimpse into people’s routines, their daily habits. All those little things that no one else notices, or pays attention to, or has the privilege of witnessing. Like the way Ash never puts his face under the water. He tips his head back to rinse it, gets right up to the hairline, but no farther, ensuring gravity prevents the water from running down over his face.

When I ask him why, he says, “I don’t like it. It makes me feel like I’m drowning.” And then I understand. I remember the story he told me about nearly drowning in the ocean, how he was caught in the undertow when he was a child, how he would have died if it wasn’t for his mother.

We laugh as we awkwardly squeeze past each other, trading places so I can rinse my hair. As I stand under the water and close my eyes, I feel him place his hands gently on my abdomen, slowly tracing the lines of the muscle just below the surface with his fingertips. “Jesus, look at you,” he says, “maybe I should take up rock climbing.”

I let out a small laugh, “It’s fun. I could teach you.”

“Nah, I don’t think it’s for me. It’s a shame you ever have to put clothes on, though.”

“Not tonight, I don’t.” I shut off the water quickly and then turn back to him, “I won’t if you won’t.”

“Deal.” He answers a little too quickly, and then adds, “Not that I have anything to wear anyway.”

“I would’ve given you something if you wanted. Too late now, though.”

He laughs as I hop out to grab a couple of towels.

After drying off, I walk over to the sink and grab a fresh toothbrush from the cabinet below. It’s brand new and still in the package. I hold it up to show it to him and then set it on the counter, “If you want,” I say before grabbing my own toothbrush and running it under the water.

He picks it up and raises his eyebrows a me, “You do this often enough that you keep these on hand, huh?”

I shake my head to reassure him, “No, they’re Dawn’s. She’s super weird about brushing her teeth all the time. She’s almost always carrying one around. There’s like ten of them down there, she won’t care if you take one.”

“Thank you,” he says sincerely as he opens the package and discards it in the trash. He squeezes toothpaste along the bristles, but then stops and looks up at me.

“What?” I ask.

“Nothing. You’re just… you’re really nice.” I can’t quite read the expression on his face when he says this, it’s almost as if the sentiment makes him sad.

In a pitiful attempt to lighten the mood, I tell him, “Well, if it makes you feel any better, it’s purely selfish.”

He gives me a small smile, “Oh yeah? My breath is that bad?”

“No, I just want you to be comfortable. Because the more comfortable you are, the longer you’ll stay.” Instinctually, I lean over and kiss his forehead. I don’t know why, it just felt natural to do so, like I’d done it a hundred times before. As soon as my lips graze his skin, I know that I have. I see it. Many times, in many different places I don’t recognize. On a couch or in a bed or even standing on a beach. It feels so real that it takes me aback.  I pull away and he looks up at me with that same look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him, knowing now what’s making him sad. I’m not acting like a friend; I’m acting like a boyfriend. And we both know I can’t give him that. Though, I’m starting to have trouble remembering why. Seems like it’s taking more effort not to. “We should get some sleep,” I say, suddenly feeling exhausted.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute,” he replies, and then turns away to brush his teeth.

I put fresh glasses of water by the bed, turn off the lamp, and lie down, turning to face the wall because I don’t know what I’ll do if I’m facing him when he comes to bed. I don’t trust myself, and I feel like I’ve done enough damage already. He’s probably upset with me, and I wouldn’t blame him if he changed his mind and decided to leave.

I prepare myself for the worst when he finally comes in, but he surprises me by getting into bed, scooting over to me, and pressing his entire body against the length of mine. He wraps his arm around me and squeezes me tight, kissing the back of my shoulder. I don’t know why he’s chosen to be so sweet to me, but I’m grateful for it. I close my eyes and allow myself to relax into him as I drift off to sleep.

Prev // Next

[specialagentlokitty]

Aizawa x reader - the last 7 minutes

A/N: this idea was given to me by @nyxiethesimp 💜

New year was your favourite time of year, standing on the top of UA, just like you had done for so many years before with your husband by your side, holding his hand.

“I can’t believe you made me come up here again.” He sighed softly.

You grinned up at Aizawa.

“Come on! It’s tradition, we’ve done this since our first year here, we can’t break an over 10 year tradition!”

Aizawa chuckled a little bit, looking down at you, burying his face in his scarf a little as he shook his head at you.

“Every year without fail huh?”

“That’s what I promised.”

Aizawa chuckled again, leaning down to kiss your forehead, and you leant into his kiss.

He pulled away a little bit, and you smiled at him as you watched the first firework shoot into the sky, exploding behind him and your eyes face lit up with excitement.

Aizawa say the sparkle of gold in your eyes, and he leant down to gently kiss you, placing his hand in the back of your head while you took his face between your hands.

Aizawa smiled into the kiss a little more, taking a step closer.

The sound of fireworks exploded all around, and you slowly pulled away from the kiss to look at him.

Brushing some hair from his face, you watched the colours reflect in his dark eyes.

You turned to watch the fireworks with a bright smile on your face, and Aizawa draped his arms over your shoulder, resting his chin on top of your head.

You stood admiring the fireworks, leaning back into him slightly.

“When I go, I hope I go just as beautifully…”

Aizawa wrapped his arms around your shoulder, moving his head against yours sightly.

“I’d prefer if you didn’t go at all…” he mumbled.

You smiled a little more, placing your hands hands on his arms, leaning your head into his.

“I’m not going anytime soon, I promise.”

He hummed a little, keeping his arms around you as you went back to watching the fireworks.

This was how you loved starting your year with him, just the first hour of the year, outside with Aizawa watching the fireworks.

You always cherished those memories.

Now as you lay in the snow, loosing way to much blood, unable to speak, or call out to your fellow heroes for help, you just laid there.

You wondering if that’s what your last 7 minutes would be, when they said after death your brain would remain active for 7 minutes, would your last 7 minutes be full of memories with Aizawa? Fully of happy memories?

You kept your gaze up to the sky, watching as the snow came slowly falling down.

Two weeks into the new year, it had only been two weeks since you stood watching the fireworks with him.

You didn’t feel any pain, that wasn’t a good thing and you knew that, but maybe it wasn’t so bad, you didn’t want to feel any pain.

You could hear the crunching is snow under somebodies foot as they ran, and somebody knelt down next to you, and you turned your gaze to find your best friend crouched next to you.

Hizashi tried his best to smile at you.

“Hey.. hey it’s okay… you’re gonna be okay…” he whispered.

He looked at your stomach, and he quickly looked away, pressing his hand to his comms, whispering something quietly into them before turning back to you.

You were taking shallow breaths, and Hizashi smiled at you, sitting next to you.

“He’s on his way…”

You gave a weak nod, letting out a small pained breath.

Hizashi couldn’t move you, it wasn’t safe, as much as he wanted to help his best friend, he couldn’t risk moving you, so he had to wait.

A minutes later Aizawa came running over and he stopped when his eyes locked with Hizashi’s, the grim expression on the other heroes face was all he needed to see.

Hizashi stood up, walking over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a small squeeze.

“I’m sorry…” Hizashi whispered.

Aizawa walked over, dropping to his knees next to you, taking his scarf off and pressed it to your stomach, hoping maybe it would fix what happened.

He looked to you, finding that you were already looking at him, and you raised a shaky hand to placed over his.

Your skin was freezing.

“No.. no.. no…” Aizawa whispered.

He sat down, leaning over and he placed a hand on your face, running his thumb along your cheek.

“You promised….” He whispered again.

He could feel your hand on his back, gripping his sweater weakly.

“You promised… you promised…” he repeated.

He wasn’t angry, you knew that. He knew that.

“Just hold on…”

He looked back at you, your blood had stained the snow around you, and the snow was still trying to settle on your body, telling him you had been laid like that for a while.

Aizawa’s gaze met with yours again, he could see you fighting with your exhaustion, trying to stay awake for him.

He leant down, softly kissing you, then kissing your forehead.

“Get some sleep…” he whispered, “I’ll be here when you wake up…”

He tried his best to smile for you, he tried to sound reassuring, and he cursed himself when his voice cracked a little bit.

Over ten years by his side, being next to him from the moment you met, going from his friend, to his best friend, to being in love and getting married.

“It’s okay now….”

He could tell by your eyes that you were in a lot of pain, and you were exhausted.

“I’ll be okay, I promise.” He said gently.

You slowly raised your arm to his face, placing a cold hand to his cheek.

“S…sh..Shouta…” you whispered.

He gave another weak smile.

“I’m here, you’re not alone. Get some rest okay? I’ll look after you, I’ll stay right here.”

He kissed the palm of your hand, holding it to his face as he looked at you.

Your breath was more shallow now, and pained sounding, you turned your gaze to the sky, and he did the same thing, watching the snow.

“I love you.” He said.

After a minute, he felt your hand drop a little bit, and he looked back at you, your chest wasn’t moving anymore, he couldn’t hear anymore pained breaths.

He held your hand against his face tightly, silent tears falling down his face.

Hizashi ket his back turned, but he clamped a hand over his mouth, trying not to make a sound as he cried.

Midnight came running over and stopped when she saw his expression, and she placed her hands over her mouth.

News travelled pretty quickly among the heroes that were at that mission that day.

Aizawa wrapped his capture scarf around your waist, hiding your injury with it as he swept you into his arms, your head falling against his chest.

You were gone, you wouldn’t be by his side anymore, and all he had were the memories of you as he slowly walked towards the rescue team.

You in the other hand never realised you had died, you thought you were still living with him, making happy memories as teenagers when you first met.

Aizawa walked, looking at the peaceful look on your face, he wondered what you thought about in your last few minutes, and he would never know that your last few minutes, the minutes that brought you utter peace, were the memories of him.

He gently laid you down on a white sheet, and sat next to you, just staring at you while everybody gave him his space.

The news travelled quickly around the whole country of your death, there were vigils for you, there were news reports on you, even graffiti of you and your hero name began to show up.

Aizawa stood on the roof of UA the following new years, nearly a year later, holding a photo of you.

When the first firework exploded, he looked to the photo of your smiling face.

“Happy new year…” he whispered.

He slowly let go of the photo, letting it travel with the wind.

His new New Year tradition

[mikedfaist]

love our famous reader but i’m thinking a lot lately about reader who isn’t famous but still has proximity to the industry. maybe she’s his makeup artist or hair stylist for a film… very sweet to think about them getting closer over the course of filming

i'm sorry i switched povs, i have been awake since 5:30 am, i am only human

She would have worked as one of their makeup artists for West Side Story, and let me tell you, every morning he would prance onto set in the hopes he would be first in her chair. She was the one putting his tattoos on every morning – sometimes dirt, sometimes blood – and all of the boys knew he had a crush. They’d exchange looks with each other when her back was turned, and Mike would glare daggers at them telling them to shut up.

He’d always run to her when he needed any touchups, or just simply wanted to talk. They’d talk about Steven, and which movie of his was her favorite.

“ET, of course,” she beams. “Can’t think of a sardine without thinking of that movie.”

A morning would come when one of the boys sat complacent in her chair, turned to look at her through the mirror. “Hey, so, do you have a boyfriend?”

Mike freezes in his spot.

“Who’s asking?” She chimes.

“Just’a question.” All the boys are looking at Mike, who refuses to look up from his phone.

“Nope,” she replies with a pop. “Again, who’s asking?” She’s joking; she’s not expecting an answer. She’s too busy rubbing mousse through Ben Cook’s curls, and not paying quite enough attention to her surroundings, until one of the boys speak up.

“Mike.”

The trailer fills with boyish yells, and Mike literally wants to disintegrate into his chair. He wonders if they really need him on set today. They can film Cool without him, right? Is it too late to recast?

It’s a little while later when Mike needs touchups, that he finds his way to you in your trailer. You’re sitting on the sofa, knees pulled up to your chest as you read a book.

“Michael, hello,” you sit up, closing your page around your finger. “What’s up?”

“Just, uh…dirt is coming off.”

“Say less, darling.” You stand up, and Mike sits in his usual seat. He can’t even look you in the eye. He also can’t seem to ease the burning from his cheeks after hearing such a term of endearment from you. “How’s it going out there?”

“Good, yeah, I think.” He adjusts himself in the chair; his back is killing him. “Should be done on time today.”

“Perfect. I love to hear it. “She dabs her brush onto her palette. “What’cha got going on later?”

“Nothing, I don’t think. Might just go home and rest up for tomorrow.”

“What about Friday? I know you aren’t on the call sheet. That’s a Sharks day.”

“Might do something with the boys? I don’t think we’ve talked about it.”

“When are we hanging out?” His eyes meet yours in the reflection of the mirror, and you reply with a shrug. “The boys were acting like you maybe wanted to hang out, but I couldn’t hear over their rambunctiousness.”

“I…” His mouth was dry. He noticed you stopped applying the makeup and held the brush precariously in your hand. “I didn’t tell them to say that.”

“Oh, I’m sure you didn’t, but you didn’t answer my question.”

“You wanna hang out?”

“That’s what I’m asking.”

He’d nodding his head before he manages words out. “Okay…” He blinks, scanning around the room, looking for nothing in particular. “Uh, Friday? When will you be out of here?”

“Who knows. 5 or 6, maybe? We’re doing rehearsals for I Feel Pretty. I shouldn’t be any later than 6.”

“Wanna aim for 7?”

She smiles, running some mousse through his hair. “It’s a date.”

[lunajay33]

Not Enough?💔

Summary: you and Carl try and make friends and Ron gets jealous and says cruel things about you, will Carl protect you?

•Masterlist•

You’ve been friends with Carl since well forever, you were Shane’s daughter and when the apocalypse hit he took care of you Lori and Carl, and you’ve been inseparable from Carl since everything went awry

When your dad died you went into a deep depression but Carl was there he brought you back from that ache black pit of despair, and you did the same for him when he had to kill his mom

But now you were all finally in a safe place, well as safe as things could get in a world where there were brain dead people trying to rip your flesh to shreds

Everyone had stayed in two houses next door to eachother, you chose to stay with Daryl, Rick michonne Judith and Carl in the first house you all stayed in as the others moved over to the other house

You were sitting in your room, which was right next to carls when there was a knock

“Come in”

The door opened and it was Carl

“Hey wanna go talk to some of the kids of the town, try and fit in a bit” he asked leaning against the frame

“Sure” you said as you got up and you both left the house

You were walking around town when you saw a few of them you learned to be Ron, Enid and some others

“Hey guys, mind if we join?” Carl asked as we approached

“Sure we were just talking about our first kisses” Enid said laughing

You sat down with them as they continued around the small circle until it got to you

“Well aren’t you gonna tell us?” Ron asked kinda pushy

“Ummm” you looked at Carl nervous so he spoke for you

“We were each others first kiss, I mean we’ve known eachother since birth it was bound to happen” he said laughing off the jitters

You and Carl weren’t offical, you guys never discussed anything but you both knew there were feelings, strong feelings between eachother that ran deep

You both looked at Ron as he scoffed he looked disgusted but honestly kinda jealous for some reason

“Really? You kissed her, even in the apocalypse that’s pretty desperate” your chest felt tight at his words

“What the hell do you mean?” Carl asked you could hear in his tone he was fuming

“Dude come on, she’s not easy to look at, Enid is way prettier” Ron said laughing right at you

You got up and ran back to the house sitting on the porch, that heavy feeling weighing on your chest as you felt that burning in your throat rising as you tried to hold back the tears that inevitably fell down your checks……and they kept coming

You had never really been insecure, growing up with Carl and his reassuring words and the sweet people you grew up around made you feel good, made you feel like you were enough but that all changed when you came to Alexandria

You saw the way Enid looked at Carl and that’s how you started to compare yourself to her, the way she looked, her nose, her body it all came like a blow to you since you never really experienced envy before

As you were deep in that mind numbing toxic state Carl came up to you on the porch stairs as sat beside you as he rubbed your back soothingly

“He’s an ass, don’t listen to him, he’s just jealous”

“Jealous? Jealous of what, he’s right Enid is way better why waste your time with me” you sighed as you looked up at Carl

His heart broke seeing your red puffy face

“Y/n what are you talking about you’re beautiful, you know you’re the only one for me, with your h/c, and your gorgeous e/c eyes, and how you’ve always been my number one supporter through everything”

“Really?”

“Of course I…..I love you y/n, more than anything so stop worrying no one can compare to you” he said brushing you hair back behind your ear

Your heart speed up feeling like it was gonna burst

“I love you too Carl, always”

After that you slowly realized you’re beautiful in your own way and stopped comparing yourself to Enid, and Carl made sure to show you how beautiful you really are

—///—///—///—///—///—

How did you guys like this story, I’m new to doing stories for Carl for lmk!!:)

[controlmyfeet]

dad!matty is everything to me. maybe something with reader having a grand reveal that she is pregnant and matty losing his mind and after the news he always keeps his hand on her belly AHHHHh!

when we are together - matty healy

future dad!matty healy x reader

fluff

warnings: emetophobia, pregnancy, simp matty

a/n: at first i loved this, then i hated it, and now i think i like it. i hope you do too. also to everyone that sent requests, i saw them and i’m working on them but it’s going to take a while! thank you for your patience <3

2463 words

i thought the nausea was just a consequence of the migraine i had at the beginning of the week. for the past month, i’ve been trying to adapt to my new job. i’ve been working at the same place for almost a year, but recently i moved to a new department, and everything has been so stressful that i haven’t been sleeping or eating enough, but it’s been two days, and i am once again spilling whatever i had for dinner down the toilet.

it’s 3 a.m. and matty has been to go to the studio early in the morning, so i decided not to wake him up. but when i hear our bedsheets rustle a little louder and the sound of the bathroom door sliding open, i realize it was no use.

“oh baby,” he says softly and reaches towards the counter to grab a hair tie. he runs his fingers through my hair and puts it in a loose ponytail to keep it out of my face. “let go, you’re alright.”

he sits with me until after i’m done throwing up, his hands running up and down my back. i try to use the feeling of him to control my breathing.

“sorry i woke you up,” i say, still breathing heavily after a long silence, my arms propped on the toilet seat and my face still hovering over the toilet bowl, just in case.

“don’t apologize, darling” he squeezes my left shoulder and leaves a little kiss. i turn my face to look at him, eyebrows frowned, and lips pursed “i’m worried about you.”

“i probably got a stomach bug or something.”

i see his sleepy face flash with the sudden realization, “when was the last time you got you’re period?”

as soon as i hear those words, i feel a wave of panic wash over me. i was supposed to have my period almost two weeks ago. my period was mostly regular, maybe some days earlier or later, but never weeks. with all the stress and meetings at work, i must’ve forgotten about it.

“oh shit”

he tries not to laugh at my reaction, seeming too calm about this situation. we’ve talked about having children someday, but this is so sudden. we have nothing planned.

“i can run to the store and grab a few tests,” he says before i start overthinking. hands moving to cup my cheek so i can focus on him, his warm skin contrasting the cold toilet seat. “if you want that, of course.”

“yeah”

“okay, let me just grab a shirt then” he moves to stand up, way too excited for someone who woke up in the middle of the night to his girlfriend vomiting. but i quickly grab his arm, pulling him closer.

“matty, wait,” he shuffles closer to me and i hug his arm tighter. “and what if i really am pregnant?”

“we’ll do whatever you want,” he grabs my hand, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. “you know i’d love to have a baby with you, and i understand if now it’s not the best moment. but we could work it out, right? we’re in love, we’re settled, and we’re surrounded by people who love and care for us; we’d be alright.”

i nod and take a deep breath, feeling much happier and calmer about the situation. and also very grateful to have someone so understanding and loving by my side.

“do you want to lay for a bit, or do you want to stay here in case the nausea comes back?” he asks, still holding my hand.

“i’ll lay down, i don’t think there’s anything left”

slowly, he stands up and helps me get up. i turn to the sink and he helps me hold my balance on the counter, standing behind me while i brush my teeth and holding my waist so i can stand up straight.

“you know i love you no matter what, right?” i feel his lips moving against my hair after i spit out the toothpaste. “and having a baby would just make me love you even more.”

i turn around and wrap my arms around him, hiding my face in the crook of his neck and leaving a kiss there. “i love you too.”

matty helps me to bed and adjusts my pillow before grabbing a used shirt and his wallet. he sits with me for a while. calloused fingers stroking my hair softly and his low voice telling me i’ll be alright. we’ll be alright. he pecks my lips before telling me he’ll be right back.

before i can even hear our front door closing, my thoughts are already taken over by little feet, bouncy curls, and big brown eyes.

–

i realize i had fallen asleep only when i feel matty’s fingers brushing my hair away from my face and his lips pressing against my forehead. “you ready?” he whispers

we make our way to the bathroom, and i take the three tests he bought. i place them next to the sink and he sets a timer. before i can feel the anxiety creeping in once again, matty pulls me into his arms and rests his chin on the top of my head.

“i don’t know if this is more scary or exciting,” i whisper and wrap my arms around his waist tightly.

“i know, baby. but we’re in this together, okay? i’ll be here for anything you need.”

he runs his fingers through my hair, and i leave a kiss on his chest. the room is quiet for a while; the only noise i can hear are our breaths and his heartbeat. the silence makes my earlier thoughts come back. pink chubby cheeks, little hands wrapping around my finger. high-pitched giggles echoing throughout the house.

“i think we’d make pretty cool babies,” he says after a while, reading my thoughts.

“yeah?”

“yeah,” i can feel his grin on the top of my head. “half me, half you? that’s a recipe for the coolest kid ever.”

we stand holding each other in the middle of the bathroom until the timer goes off. hiding my smile on his chest as he kisses my head. when the ringtone echoes in the cold bathroom, i feel a rush of adrenaline running through my veins, and i’m pretty sure my hands start to shake.

“i’m not sure if i can look” i let a nervous laugh out and cover my face; he lifts a hand and softly caresses my arm.

“do you want to do it together? or do you want me to look first?”

“no…no, let’s do it together.” i cup his face and give him a chaste kiss.

matty takes each of the tests out of the little cup and turns it around. and as soon as he does, i see the two little red lines, and before i can even process it, matty is already looking at me, waiting for my reaction. but i can see the twinkle in his eyes and the smile he is trying to hold back and i let out a laugh.

“i’m pregnant,” my eyes crowd with happy tears threatening to spill over “we’re having a baby!”

“yeah?” he asks, fully smiling now. i can just nod. and smile.

matty wraps his arms tightly around my waist and lifts me, peppering kisses all over my face. his laugh mixed with sobs. i hold him just as tightly.

“oh darling, i love you so much.” his voice is muffled as he rests his head on the crook of my neck, tears of joy dampening my skin.

“i love you too, matty,” i reply, nuzzling my face in his hair “i can’t wait to see you with our little baby.”

i feel his grip tighten around me, more than i thought possible. face still hidden in my neck and leaving little kisses there.

“you’re going to be the hottest mum ever.” he lifts his head to give me a heartfelt kiss when i start laughing, “best mum too.”

–

it’s been a few weeks since we found out i’m pregnant, so to enjoy the little free time the boys had before going back on tour, matty and i decided to host a sunday lunch at our house. we haven’t told the news to anyone besides our parents. we wanted to enjoy it by ourselves for a bit, even though i worried at first that denise’s enthusiasm would give it away.

i was chopping up some peaches for the pasta salad recipe i saw on tiktok while sitting on a stool. i usually would do this standing up, but matty has been watching over me like a hawk and insisted that i sit down, saying that i shouldn’t overwork my body. whatever that means, i guess. i haven’t even started showing yet, i can’t even imagine how he will act when my bump starts growing.

he comes into the kitchen carrying a few packs of beer and some of the extra ingredients i asked him to buy, and settles everything on the counter. he steals a small piece of the peach i’ve been cutting and comes behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing a sloppy kiss to my cheek.

“how are you feeling, my love?” he asks, moving his right hand to rest on my stomach. i stop what i am doing and turn my head to face him.

“i’m good, i think the nausea phase might be coming to an end.” he nods and i place my hand on top of his. “you’re gonna have to be more discreet, y’know?”

“what do you mean?” he frowns and i fight the urge to run my thumb over the crease between his eyebrows.

“i mean that if we’re going to keep a secret, you can’t be with your hands on my tummy all the time!” i explain while holding back a laugh. “and you also can’t treat me as if i was made of glass.”

“but i want to feel her!” he protests and his frown gets deeper as he tries to prove his point by pushing his hand more firmly on my belly. i move both of my hands to cup his face.

“baby, there is nothing to feel yet.” i try to be serious, but matty’s desolate face sends me into a fit of giggles, “and you don’t even know if it is a her, we won’t know for a few months still.”

my attempt to reason with him completely fails as his face turns into one of shock, as if the things i was saying were the most absurd he’s ever heard “oh, i know we are having a little girl, alright? i’m a hundred percent certain.”

still laughing at my boyfriend’s antics, i give up on reasoning and entirely turn around, wrapping my arms around his neck and bringing his lips to mine.

–

adam and carly were the first ones to arrive, with little baby hann clinging onto both of their hands. soon, ross arrived with his girlfriend, anna, and matty started grilling the burgers, knowing that george and charli would most likely be late as usual. after our talk in the kitchen, he sulked but understood that he couldn’t be on me all the time or it would look suspicious. sure, he is an affectionate person, but with how he acted, everyone would notice that there was something more to it. still, he would go out of his way to pull my chair and refill my water while not subtly caressing my belly.

i had told everyone i wouldn’t be able to drink since i would have a medical checkup the following day and had to do some routine blood tests. which wasn’t exactly a lie, but i was leaving some crucial information out, of course. so when george and charli showed up with an entire jar of clericot, i knew we’d have some problems.

she bought my excuse at first, sharing most of the drink she made with carly and anna, but after two glasses, she started getting a little persistent.

“girl, i made this whole jar of clericot just because i know you like it!” charli complained, almost pouting at this point. and it really is one of my favorite beverages for the summer, but it’s not worth it. i can see matty at the grill giving me not-so-subtle glances as if to say, ‘don’t do it’.

“i can’t, charli, it’ll mess up my tests,” i tried to reason while nibbling on a slice of seasoned peach, but george’s girlfriend is just as stubborn as my own boyfriend.

“oh c’mon, just one glass won’t hurt,” she protested. “it’s not like you’re pregnant.”

as soon as the words leave her mouth, my eyes widen and matty turns his head so quickly that it might’ve given him whiplash. so much for being discreet. we exchange looks while my brain works to come up with something to back up my excuse.

“well, uhm, i–those are some very important tests i got to do.”

“oh yeah? what are they for?” carly–who usually would just watch and laugh at our banter–joins in, not at all convinced by my excuse.

“cholesterol?”

no one responds. the girls are exchanging suspicious glances with george and adam–whose little boy on his lap is too preoccupied with his toy cars to pay attention to the conversation–as i turn to matty, begging for some backup. he just looks at me nervously and shrugs.

“that is such bullshit!” ross, who had been helping matty at the grill, exclaims after almost a full minute of silence.

matty comes up behind me with a big smile and wraps his arms around my shoulder. “just tell them at this point, love,” he whispers just for me to hear and leaves an encouraging kiss on my neck.

“well?” charli asks, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. as well as everyone else’s in the room. i take a final look at matty before turning back to them.

“we’re pregnant!” i exclaim, now smiling so widely my cheeks hurt.

all i can hear is the cheer and the laughter from our friends as matty presses several kisses to my cheek before they come to congratulate us. i stand up from my chair as soon as adam pulls matty into a hug and ross is the first one to embrace me, soon followed by charli.

the day resumes with a toast and lots of smiles after the food is served. adam and carly tell us stories of their baby boy, and george reminds us of all the anecdotes of the boys in their pre-teens. and i can’t help but think how it will be when our little one meets its lovely uncles and aunties.

[alwaysurvalentine]

If you are so inclined, I’d love to see Steve and Eddie’s aquarium date 💕

Thank you for your patience!!! (and for being my biggest fan! 🥹)

This is just fluff, fluff, and more fluff. - w.c: 4.6k - cw: n/a!

This can be read alone, but it is meant to be a companion piece to this!

Hope you enjoy our boys and their aquarium adventures! 💛

~

They’ve been together six months but watching Steve wake up in the mornings hasn’t gotten old. Eddie hopes it never does. He hardly ever wakes up before the other boy so each time he does, he makes sure to savor the moment. When Steve’s asleep his face is completely relaxed, mouth parted just slightly. Right before he wakes up, he always smacks his lips together and then scrunches his face slightly. Honey eyes blink open, and on the days that Eddie’s caught in his admiration, he gets a gooey smile first thing. He’d be more than happy laying in bed for a bit longer but they’ve got plans today, so he reaches up to gently brush the bangs back from Steve’s forehead. 

“Sweetheart.” He barely whispers the word, but right on cue Steve scrunches his face and his eyes start to flutter open. 

“Mm.” And Steve closes his eyes again, just scooting closer to Eddie to tuck his face in his chest.

“Stevie, we gotta get up. We got plans today, remember?” Eyelashes tickle his collarbone and he pinches at Steve’s side. “C’mon, you were all excited about this. And you’ve got me invested in what this surprise could be – I know you talked to Wayne about something.”

Again, Steve stays quiet. He’s not much of a talker first thing in the morning. The kiss Eddie feels him press against his neck is better than words. Steve yawns and rolls onto his back, stretching until his hands touch the wall behind the bed and he grins crookedly at Eddie when he sits up. 

“You’re right, let’s get going. We’ve got a bit of a drive before we get there.”

🐟🐟🐟

A wave of deja vu hits him when Steve pulls onto an exit in Louisville. A Denny’s sign welcomes him like an old friend and suddenly he remembers – chocolate chip pancakes and Wayne’s black coffee.

“Stevie.” There’s a lump in his throat that wasn’t there before and he pulls his eyes away from the sign to look at his boyfriend. Steve’s tilted his head to show he’s listening, eyes focused on the road as he turns.

“Did you bring me to the aquarium?” 

Steve grins, eyes squinted just that little bit closed in happiness. Sunlight shines through his hair like a halo. Eddie’s own personal angel. 

“Yep! When I was helping Wayne pack up the trailer for the move, I found a keychain on your dresser. Wayne happened to see it in the box I’d put it in and told me all about your visit out here. He said he had planned on bringing you back but stuff kept coming up and then all of a sudden you seemed ‘too old’ to bring anymore.” One hand raised off the wheel to do air quotes and Eddie feels the butterflies kick in his stomach. His boyfriend is such a dork. “Anyway, I thought it would be nice to come out for our anniversary, you know, to woo you.” Steve winks at the word, something they joke about often. Curse Eddie for saying that’s what he expected when Steve went in to kiss him the first time. 

A glance at the road reveals an upcoming stoplight and Eddie waits just long enough for the car to stop before leaning over the console to kiss Steve. He tastes like cheap gas station coffee and the chocolate frosted donuts they shared on the way up. When he backs away Steve follows him and offers another quick peck. 

“Consider me wooed, Stevie.” 

🐟🐟🐟

Since it’s a weekday, they’re able to find decent parking and head straight in to get tickets. Eddie can’t stop grinning, excitement bursting from him at getting to see all the different animals again. There are different halls that branch off from the main entrance: Under Water Coves, The Swamplands, and Penguin Palooza. By the smile on Steve’s face, he knows Eddie’s calling the shots today – and even if their feet hurt later, Steve won’t fault Eddie for dragging him around to every attraction the aquarium has to offer.

The first hall they come to is shrouded in darkness and when they turn the corner they see why. All of the fish in the tanks glow, bright flashes of orange and greens as the fish dart through their tanks. There’s enough light coming off of the tanks that they can read the panels on the wall to learn more, but Eddie finds himself more invested in watching Steve. His boyfriend is standing to the side of the tank, eyes drawn to the crabs crawling at the bottom. Fast footprints sound behind him and before he can even turn, two kids come racing to the same tank. The taller of the two has her hair pulled up in a pony tail tied with pink ribbon and the other’s unruly curls have been left in a pile on his head. Miss Pink Bows slows down as they approach but her brother doesn’t and slams right into the glass. Luckily, he doesn’t seem phased by the tumble and stands to press his hands against the glass. 

Steve turns with a grin, huffing a laugh of his own when he make eye contact with Eddie. That’s all it takes for the metalhead to erupt in giggles and Steve pulls him by the arm to the next viewing section. 

“Eddie – stop, stop laughing.”

The admonishment would mean more if Steve wasn’t fighting back his own laughter. 

🐟🐟🐟

The tunnel of fish steal Steve’s full attention but he’s still holding onto Eddie’s hand as they stand on the moving walkway. If there’s a fish he seems worried Eddie’s going to miss he squeezes and points towards where the fish is in the tank.

“Eddie, look, look at that!” A squeeze and a point guides Eddie’s eyes away from his boyfriend and to the four foot wide manta ray about to swim above them. He’s almost sure that his own smile matches the tiny one on the underside of the manta ray. There’s a blue hue painted over everyone under the tunnel, but it doesn’t take away from how bright Steve seems to be beside him. “Woah!” Another manta ray approaches the side of the tunnel and it has to be double the size of the one before. This one does a strange flipping maneuver and suddenly they can see its dark grey back instead as it swims nearly upside down above them. “They’re so big! I can’t believe how big they are.” 

Eddie can’t let the opportunity pass and grins salaciously. “That’s what she said.” Steve rolls his eyes but his smile doesn’t dim. His brown hair shifts as he shakes his head and steps off of the walkway towards the next section.

🐟🐟🐟

The next room they enter has a wall of glass from ceiling to floor. Inside, there’s the shadow of a whale shark swimming towards them, gliding smoothly through the water. Eddie doesn’t pull his eyes away even as Steve gently tugs his hand to get them closer to the glass. He only looks away for a moment when he almost tumbles down the two smaller steps that lead to the viewing area. Up close the whale shark is just as cool as he remembers it to be. A sign on the wall lets people know that there’s two sharks in the tank, Alice and Mary. Smaller fish swim near her, and when light from above hits them just right they look just like silver sparkles surrounding her. Calm washes over him as he watches her swim past the glass, another shadow in the distance outlining the other shark. 

Last time he was here he knows he pressed his face and hands up against the glass, like getting closer would mean seeing them better – four foot wide glass be damned. Uncle Wayne had to carry him out so they could go through the rest of the museum. He’d rested his head on Wayne’s shoulder and kept his eyes trained on the tank for as long as he could until they turned the corner. It’d been his favorite part of the aquarium then and he’s sure that’s not going to change now. 

Eddie notices the hair rising on the back of his neck before he makes the connection that he can feel eyes on him. He glances to his left and meets Steve’s hazel gaze. The last six months has taught Eddie how to read the many different expressions of his boyfriend, knowing what he’s thinking with just a quirk of his brow. Right now, the only way to describe the look on Steve’s face is lovesick. Soft in a way he sees when it’s late at night and they’re cuddled up under the blankets on the brink of sleep. It warms Eddie’s heart and he swears he feels it skip a beat as he grins. 

“Aren’t these the best? Just gentle giants.”

🐟🐟🐟

“Wait, so we can touch these ones?” Surprise colors Steve’s words and he’s tilted his head in question towards the worker. A small ‘bay’ is between them, baby cownose rays gliding under a couple inches of water. The worker nods and then directs their attention towards a couple of young kids that have approached the pools. 

Despite his question, Steve doesn’t move to touch one of the animals swimming, instead standing with his hands close to his chest like letting them hang too close to the water is going to hurt the rays. 

“Do you want to touch them?” Eddie’s comment breaks Steve’s concentration and the younger boy turns to him.

“I’m not sure yet. You can though!” He steps quickly to the side like that’s the only thing keeping Eddie from reaching forward. A notch is between his brows and he gazes at the pool again, hazel eyes tracing the gentle movements the worker makes for the kids to copy. One of the kids touches the ray and pulls away quick, face scrunched in disgust; the other pets along the entire back with a gentle hand and a grin on their face. A couple rays swim towards Steve and Eddie’s side of the ‘bay’ and Eddie lowers his hand into the water. It’s colder than he thought it would be but one of the rays darts right under his finger tips. He’d thought it would be slimy but instead it’s soft like velvet. He turns to Steve with a grin, already reaching towards another ray swimming his way. The crease between Steve’s brows eases and his eyes dart to the dimple Eddie knows is denting his cheek with how big he’s grinning. 

“Stevie, these are sooo soft. C’mon.” His boyfriend is still slow in his movements as he reaches towards the water, tension in his shoulders as a ray goes to glide to the other end of the pool. A freckled hand barely taps the water and then pulls away again. “They’re not gonna hurt you sweetheart, they wouldn’t let people touch them if they thought someone would get hurt.” Finally, all of the apprehension Steve’s been holding onto seeps out of him and he submerges one hand in the water while he uses the other one to hold onto Eddie’s dry one. 

🐟🐟🐟

“Stevie, come and help me with this?” 

This being a trivia game along the wall while they wait to get into the next exhibit. There’s questions with buttons to press that light up green or red depending on if you’re right or wrong. All of the questions are a little lower than eye level for them, probably meant for the younger kids in the hallway but being older hasn’t stopped Eddie from being a kid at heart. 

“Okay, why is it called a spider crab?” There’s only two choices, and Eddie picks the one that makes the most sense. And gets a red light.

“How is it not because they have 8 legs? It’s just because they’re tall? That’s lame.” He gets an empathetic pat on the shoulder before Steve steps over to the next question.

“How many hearts does an octopus have? Wait, octopi have more than one heart?” Again, there are two choices and since it’s already wild to think about them having more than one heart, Eddie hits the button that says three – green. 

“How about that! Three whole hearts. Hey, Stevie?” The brunette has already started for the next question and only turns his head to show he’s listening. Eddie closes the distance before continuing, “If I were an octopus all three of my hearts would belong to you.” That gets him a smile and the tops of Steve’s ears going pink. A quick peck to the moles on Steve’s left cheek and then he refocuses on the questions in front of him. 

🐟🐟🐟

The hallway full of trivia ends with a small ramp leading into the Penguin Palooza. There’s two paths they can take, one that advertises walking with the penguins and the other leading to the normal viewing area. Eddie already knows it’s going to be worth it to go the first route when Steve turns to him in excitement. 

Walking with the penguins means turning left and finding an entrance only tall enough to get in if you kneel down. 

“Oh. Never mind, we don’t need to do this.” Steve’s already backing up a couple steps, hand pulling at Eddie to go back the other way. And Eddie knows that crawling is going to be rough on his hips, but they haven’t hurt yet today and if he goes slow then he should be fine. So instead of following Steve’s pulling, he squeezes his hand once and then lets go to get situated on the floor. 

“No, I mean it. We’ll still get to see them if we go the other way. Ed-”

The carpet is an odd texture when Eddie places his hands on it. Somehow it’s the same rough you expect to give you carpet burn while also being smooth. He’s mainly glad that it’s dry as he crawls under the entrance to be face to face with a couple of interconnected tunnels. There’s areas with light pooled in one spot that he can see either kids standing in or adults going up on just their knees. Shuffling noises sound behind him and he glances back to see Steve crawling behind him, brown hair falling slightly into his eyes. Light pools down on them and when Eddie glances up he understands what the signs meant now. Penguins surround the dome he kneels up in to, one staring him down as he grins at it. Warmth presses against his side and he feels more than hears the gasp Steve lets out. 

“This is so cool.” 

🐟🐟🐟

“Did you see that penguins mate for life?” A nod and then Steve’s continuing, “They’re just like us.” And now it’s Eddie’s turn to blush. He pulls some hair from his shoulder to hide behind and tries to distract Steve by pulling him towards the amphitheater. This time they have to walk up a slight ramp, painted murals of dolphins covering the walls. It’s a lot cooler when they get to the end and there’s an usher standing at the doors gesturing them closer.

“Hey, show’s about to start. There should be a couple more seats available.” 

Through the doors is a massive pool, seats like a theatre pressed up against one wall. They have to walk in front of everyone to find their seats which could’ve made Eddie nervous if it weren’t for the mime he sees ahead of them dancing behind a family finding their own seats. Every time the dad turns to see what the crowd is laughing at the mime stops dancing and pretends to whistle. Only to start skipping as soon as the dad turns again. A young boy starts walking the opposite way and the mime switches tactics to follow him. This time he’s ‘playing’ a trumpet as the boy makes his way to the exit. When Steve and Eddie walk by, the mime changes course again but this time he just hooks his elbow with Eddie as though the three of them are going on a walk together. It reminds him of Robin hanging onto Steve’s other side when the three of them cuddle up on the couch. 

Steve finds an aisled staircase to walk up and Eddie nudges the mime before they can let go. He nods his head towards with a smirk and hopes the mime can think quick on his feet. 

“Wow, you’re just going to leave me like this?” He projects his voice slightly, eyes catching a couple of bystanders’ faces as he does. By the time his boyfriend turns to him Eddie’s wiped the smile off of his face and is doing his best impression of someone who’s been cheated on. “I can’t believe you. I thought what we had was special.” This time he turns away from Steve and towards the mime, face tilted up towards the ceiling fluttering his eyes like he’s about to cry. “Take me away from this place, Jeffery.” He peeks one eye open to see the mime playing along, an exaggerated frown on his face. A laugh almost escapes but he covers it with a fake hiccup like he’s about to cry. And then he puts a lot of trust in Jeffery and falls back like a fainting damsel. Surprisingly, the mime catches him and fans at his face. When he opens his eyes it’s to Steve with his arms crossed over his chest and shaking his head. The right side of his mouth looks like it’s being chewed on, his tell that he’s trying his hardest not to smile. Then he shocks Eddie and plays along.

“Yeah, well you can have him, Jeffery.” His voice is deeper than usual, almost like how he sounded as King Steve, and he clicks his tongue before heading towards a couple of empty seats. The mime, good sport that he is, pats Eddie’s shoulder and pretends to roll up his sleeves. Shadow boxing the air behind Steve is what does Eddie in before he’s laughing hard enough there’s genuine tears in his eyes. 

“Thanks, man.” Eddie knows the mime can’t respond in words but he does get a nod of respect as the bystanders clap at their act. He and the mime bow to the crowd, each trying to bow down lower than the other. Eddie calls it when his hip twinges and he finally heads off to seat next to Steve. His baby is chuckling when he sits down and Eddie grins. “Sorry, babe. Had to give the people what they want.”

🐟🐟🐟

Bright florescent lights nearly blind Eddie when they step into the gift shop. Luckily, his eyes adjust pretty quickly and he’s able to actually take in the different gifts in front of him. There’s a tower of stuffed clown fish in the center of the entrance, a couple sitting lopsided at the bottom where kids have nearly brought the stack down. Shelves line the right side of the shop, and they’ve got something for everyone: snow globes with turtles floating in the middle, all kinds of shark figurines, and even different sea animals made into squish balls. 

Across from the shelves are racks lining the other wall. All of the items hanging are pastel with the aquarium’s logo smack in the middle of the chest. A cozy sweatshirt seems to call to Steve, his boyfriend’s hands already tucking into the arms of the hoodie to see if the inside is soft. Steve does this a lot to check that he’ll like the way the fabric feels before he buys it. 

Eddie takes this opportunity to search through the spinning racks covered in different key chains. It only feels right to get Wayne one to match. Might’ve been X years in the making, but the Munsons deserve matching keychains. There’s so many different ones to look at so Eddie focuses more on which ones Wayne definitely will not use. This gets rid of any of them with his name on it (‘Not that old yet, Ed. Don’t need something with my name on it.’) and while the tiny pocket knives are cute, Eddie knows that they’d probably break in a week. 

Steve joins him at the rack when he sees it: a whale shark dangling on a tiny chain. There’s a couple random fish hanging in front of it so he has to awkwardly juggle those into his hands without dropping them to get to the one he wants. When he holds it up to inspect closer, there’s a small chip in one of the fins but he figures that just adds some character to it. There’s only one thing in Steve’s hands when he turns around and it isn’t the sweatshirt he was checking out. No, it’s a massive whale shark. Like big enough that the head is resting on Steve’s chest and the tail is curled on his shins. Even without touching it Eddie can tell that it’s soft. 

“Holy shit!” It’s just as soft as it looks when he reaches out to pet it. His chipped black nails almost blend in with the dark navy of the shark. All of the spots on its back are a cream color just like the stomach and face of the shark. “How do I get one of these?” When he looks up at Steve’s face again, the other boy’s face is turned in a frown, but something seems off about it.

“Well, this is actually the last one…” His voice is serious, but there’s a crinkle next to Steve’s eye like he’s fighting a smile. Eddie squints at him. “But I could let it go for the low price of a kiss.” Finally, the smile wins out and Steve’s beaming at Eddie. It takes a moment for the words to catch up, but when they do Eddie practically jumps to close the distance. The stuffed animal between them doesn’t do much but mess up his trajectory and they end up bumping noses instead of lips. His second attempt is better, lips slotting onto Steve’s messily – both smiling too much for it to be a deep kiss. Eddie’s free hand comes up to cup the side of Steve’s face, thumb tracing over the corner of his lover’s smile when he kisses him again. Three quick pecks and then he backs off again, rocking onto the heels of his feet. Steve looks dazed but happy, grin lopsided and taking up his whole face. 

“That’s my payment good sir! Can I hold her?” Soft plush fills his arms and Steve takes the keychain before Eddie can drop it. They walk up to the cashier together and Eddie hears a couple kids gasp as he walks by with his prize. He’s already decided to name her Lady Krilina Chewsalot and he can’t wait to see how much space she takes up on the bed. 

🐟🐟🐟

Sunset has come and gone by the time they get back to Hawkins and the porch light greets them when they pull up to the Munson trailer. Lady Krilina Chewsalot (Lady K.C.) had been exiled to the backseat when her head blocked the view of the rear view mirror. Eddie reaches into the backseat for her now, pulling her back into his lap and pulling the handle to step out of the car. 

“Time to go introduce Wayne to his grand-daughter.” Steve just shakes his head and steps out, grabbing the small bag holding souvenirs for the group. 

“Wayne!! I’ve got a surprise for you, old man!” Eddie calls out as he unlocks the door, tucking his new friend behind his back before stepping fully into the trailer. His uncle’s sitting on the couch, some black and white western playing on the TV. “I’ve got important news.” He pauses just long enough for Wayne to start to turn and then tugs the whale shark from his back and holds it in front of him with his arms outstretched. 

“You’re a grandpa.” Lady K.C. blocks his view but Eddie can hear Wayne laughing anyway and it tugs at his heart. There are few things better than getting a laugh out of the older man. When he moves the plush down, Wayne’s turned on the couch with his arm resting on the back so he can see the boys clearly. Steve comes up beside him and passes the keychain to Eddie, moving the whale shark to his hands to take her in the direction of Eddie’s room. (Steve hopes he can convince Eddie to keep her at his desk while he stays over so he has bed space. He won’t be successful.)

“Nice one, Ed. Did you boys have fun?” The couch creaks when Eddie sits on it, springs noisy with age, and he holds his hand out to Wayne.

“It was just as cool as I remember. They added some new stuff too – we might have to all go again sometime. We got you this.” 

Wayne’s weathered hand takes the key chain gently and lets the whale shark dangle in the air for a moment before smiling. “Thought we needed to match?” The words are teasing but there seems to be a gleam in Wayne’s eye when he glances at Eddie. Sometimes he gets like this, Eddie will do something that reminds him of years past and he’ll get lost in the memory. It worries Eddie a bit, but Wayne just says it’s like seeing the younger version of him overlap with the young man he is today. 

🐟🐟🐟

Eddie’s blinds only do so much to block out the streetlamp outside and it paints his room in a dim yellow no matter the time of night. He used to complain about it but after the Upside Down it’s nice to be able to wake up and see everything semi-clearly. The light leaves an outline of Steve next to him, lying on his back with one arm resting on his own chest and the other reaching towards the side of the bed Eddie is on. Normally he’d be curled up on Steve’s chest and having his hair played with, but tonight Eddie’s opted to pet the face and sides of Lady Krilina Chewsalot to fully calm down before bed. 

“Happy anniversary, baby.” Sleep seeps into Steve’s words and they come out as little more than a whisper. He yawns and turns on his side and scoots a little closer to Eddie.

“Today was amazing. Thanks, sweetheart. Happy anniversary.” When Eddie doesn’t move to push Lady K.C. away Steve sighs and gently nudges at Eddie’s shoulder. 

“C’mon, Ed, let’s go to bed. You can hold your shark tomorrow.” 

A scandalized gasp turns into a yawn when Eddie goes to answer. “You can’t make me get rid of her so easily. She is my baby.”

“Mhm. Of course not, wouldn’t dream of it.” Steve’s eyes are closed as he talks, nudging Eddie again but this time trying to roll him over. When he does finally turn onto his side, Steve scoots in quick to cuddle up to his back. It’s all warmth where their bodies connect, Steve attached like a shadow to Eddie so that he can keep cuddling with his whale shark. A kiss is pressed to the back of Eddie’s head and then Steve relaxes with a content sigh.

“G’night, Ed.” It doesn’t take long at all for sleep to take Eddie too. 

Both boys doze off, hearts beating in time with the other.

~

Thank you @snowdepths for letting me use the line "if i were an octopus all three of my hearts would belong to you"!!

(Fun fact for this piece: I had 5 tabs open for different aquarium facts/layouts to try and make this accurate. 😅)

[mattzerella-sticks]

dropping bi (ao3)

1.9 k, Buck/Tommy, Coming Out

Buck is easing into dating men, taking it one step at a time. Tommy's been a great partner through all of it. After a wonderful date in which Tommy spent the night at Buck's, Buck tumbles into the next step of his journey of self-discovery when his family makes an unexpected, unannounced, visit.

Buck eases awake beside a still sleeping Tommy. He stretches and hears his spine pop and crack into alignment as he turns over, so they’re face to face, nose to nose, for when Tommy’s eyes flutter and he begins to stir. Giddiness overwhelms Buck in that moment, his joy shooting forward like a sprout out the ground after a long, harsh winter, whose leaves unfurl while basking in the celebratory sunlight. He doesn’t fight this feeling, doesn’t force himself to temper it. Buck allows this seedling to grow and bend and blossom into a wide grin which nearly splits his face in half when he welcomes Tommy into consciousness.

“Morning.”

Tommy’s gooey stare echoes Buck’s expression. “Hey,” he says and slides his hand towards Buck, placing two fingers under Buck’s chin – his signal – to better guide Buck into a gentle kiss.

Buck sighs as their lips touch and he melts against Tommy.

His breath might stink, but he cannot make himself care with how Tommy gnaws on his lower lip. He’s sweaty, but Buck is grateful he is when Tommy slides his other hand beneath his damp shirt, tugging it higher, caressing his sides. He has to pee soon, but not so soon that having their legs slot together brings any discomfort.

Kissing Tommy is like magic. Worry and awkwardness, ‘what if’s and ‘maybe’s fade into the background since all of Buck’s focus is drawn in by the other man’s gravity the longer they stay within each other’s orbits. Buck never wants to leave him, this embrace, his bed…

But then Buck hears his front door open. The spell breaks, and so does their kiss.

Tommy presses his thumb against the cleft in Buck’s chin and asks him, “Were you expecting company?”

Buck shakes his head. “No, I –“

“Buck? Are you here?”

It’s Maddie, followed by Chimney calling for him, “Yo! Buck!” and Jee-Yun, squealing, clapping, asking after her “Uncle Buck! Uncle Buck!”

Buck leaps from his bed to lean over the railing, catching them as they enter the kitchen area. Maddie eases herself into one of the chairs by the table with Jee-Yun playing with a toy as she sits on her lap, meanwhile Chimney directs himself to the coffee maker and tosses a tumbler back and forth between his hands. Buck coughs, clears his throat, and tries to summon up his earlier smile.

The waning grimace he manages hurts to wear, but he persists.

“Hey,” his voice cracks. “Hey. Why – what are you all doing here?”

Maddie sighs. She brushes a few stray hairs away from her face as she explains, “Our stove stopped working last night.”

“Without warning,” Chimney adds, “With only twenty minutes left on our roast.” He presses a few buttons on Buck’s coffee maker. It growls and whirrs and almost bites him. “Mind you, we’ve only had this stove for less than a year, and it just breaks! Had to finish cooking dinner on the grill. It was awful!”

“Anyway,” Maddie cuts Chimney off, continuing, “we were on our way over to see about getting a new stove, maybe grabbing something to eat as well… and wanted to see if you’d join us?”

On any other day, he would. Today is inopportune.

“Oh, well –“ Buck fumbles through an excuse, fingers flexing along the loft railing during his speech. “I’m sorry that happened, and I really would like to go, it’s just – I’ve got a few things of my own I got planned today, and I’d hate to crash your day out together.”

“You wouldn’t be crashing,” Maddie says. “We’re inviting you.”

“I guess, but –“

“And it’s not like we can’t help you with your errands,” Chimney tells him. “We’ll make a whole day of it. I’m pretty much game for anything – anything that’s not leaving a flaming bag of doo-doo on Tommy’s front step, that is.”

Heat prickles at the base of his neck, where he knows Tommy’s eyes are, and leaks across his back like magma as Chimney and Maddie share a laugh. His skin must be splotchy and red and so obvious. “C’mon,” he protests weakly, “it’s not like that…”

“So you’ve gotten over this little thing you had about Eddie making new friends?” Maddie asks him.

“Well, I –“

“I’d like to think he has.”

Tommy stands beside Buck on the railing, a hand laid along his shoulder while the other curls over his blanching knuckles gripped, he realizes, way too tight to the railing.

Chimney and Maddie fall silent. Buck knows they’re shocked, and rapidly putting pieces together. It’s not a hard puzzle. Buck and Tommy each in their undershirts and boxers, sleep mussed, swollen lips, hardly an inch of space between them. The dots connect themselves.

“Tommy, can you –“

“Yeah,” he says, pressing his lips to Buck’s cheek, stealing half his breath from him while making their situation even that more simple to guess. “I could use a shower right now anyway.” He squeezes Buck’s hands as he peels off to gather last night’s clothes and head for the shower.

On the last step, he pauses and asks, “Towels are –“

“Are in a linen closet, in the bathroom. Next to the shower,” Chimney answers.

Tommy winks at him, “Thanks.”

No one says anything more until the bathroom door clicks shut, and Buck hurriedly descends from his bedroom.

Maddie says, “Buck was that –“ And Buck says, “I know.”

Chimney says, “You and he were –“ And Buck says, “We were.”

Maddie says, “So you and he are…” She trails off.

And Buck? Buck stops after reaching the table, hovering across from where Maddie sits. He looks at her, as she watches him like he was some glass figurine teetering on the edge, about to break. He looks at Chimney, who still hasn’t reigned his eyebrows back down from when Tommy’s unannounced appearance made them fly into his hairline. He looks at Jee-Yun, who doesn’t care at all what’s happening because she’s making her doll do a little dance on his table.

Buck focuses on her dance while he speaks. “Tommy and I are dating,” he says to the doll. He inhales. He exhales. His shoulders sag from the release. “We’ve been hanging out the past couple of weeks. Last night was our… third date.”

A wonderful third date that Tommy planned. He drove Buck all across town, paid for everything, pampering Buck in a manner he was unaccustomed to but absolutely loved. They ate hot wings and played a few rounds of pool. They saw the latest Guy Ritchie film and shared a tub of popcorn between them. They visited a roller disco, Tommy ensuring Buck never fell by keeping his hands at his waist, chin hooked over his shoulder, and syncing their gaits to the music and each other. Finally, after hanging up their skates for an hour at the bar, the two took a midnight stroll to sober up.

As the breezes became gusts which cut through the thin fabric of Buck’s paper-thin button up, Tommy silently wrapped his jacket over Buck’s shoulders and drew him into his arms, and they walked the rest of the way back to the car with Buck’s heart throbbing in his chest.

By the time they arrived at Buck’s apartment around two o’clock in the morning, there wasn’t any thought of letting Tommy drive home.

“So, last night… did you –“

“No,” Buck says. He collapses into a seat, takes the mug of coffee that had been placed in front of him – by Chimney, but when? – and focuses on its warmth, its weight in his hands. “I don’t think… we aren’t at that stage yet.”

Fooling around, fondling, making out like a couple of teenagers who only recently discovered how great it felt to reach beyond their waistbands were all they did. Buck didn’t mention that. Not with Jee-Yun in the room.

“And you,” Maddie starts, “Are you –“

“I’m not gay,” Buck bristles. He scowls into the coffee, “I mean – I like guys. I really like Tommy. But… I wasn’t faking it before. With girls. I like them, too.”

“Of course,” Maddie agrees. She curls her hand around his wrist and tugs, pulling him from the whirling abyss in his mug, that mirrored the path his thoughts were heading onto. He glances up at her and sees her guarded expression gone, replaced with a softness suffused with unbreakable love. He regresses to that kid he used to be in its presence, who was a bundle of limbs tethered together by anger and adrenaline, who’s sole respite from the too small world of Hershey, Pennsylvania was when his sister would comb her fingers through his curls and tell him it would be okay. Her phantom touch scratches his scalp while her thumbs rub into his pulse point. “What I wanted to ask,” she says, “is are you happy?”

And he feels bad for thinking she’d ask anything other than that. He doesn’t tell her this, though. He nods and says “Yes” and laughs when she laughs and smiles when she smiles. It’s different than what he showed Tommy, but not any less genuine.

“Good. I’m happy, then,” she tells him. “And so proud of you, Evan.”

“So am I,” Chimney says. He drops his full weight onto Buck’s shoulders, squeezing him into a hug. “Though I could strangle you for your taste in men.”

Buck pouts at him, “What’s wrong with Tommy?”

“Have you seen him?” Chimney squawks. “How am I supposed to give Tommy ‘the talk’, threaten him if he ever breaks your heart? Dude knows Muay Thai…”

“Chim…”

“And he flies helicopters!” he rambles on, “He could chop my head off with one of those blades before I can get close enough.”

“And have the entire 118 string me up by a truck ladder, extend it, and drive under an overpass? No thank you.”

Tommy emerges from the bathroom, fully clothed, running a towel over his slick wet hair. He struts towards the group, taking his place beside Buck. “I wouldn’t harm a hair on your head,” he says to Chimney. Then, he locks eyes with Buck. “Or yours, either.”

Tommy searches Buck’s face to ensure he’s okay, and Buck acknowledges he is with a nod as he offers the cooling mug of coffee to Tommy. He accepts it.

Buck stands. “I guess it’s my turn to shower,” he says, “if we want to make it to the store before it gets too crowded.”

“You don’t have to –“

“It’ll be fun,” Buck says. “Like a… weird double date, right?”

“I’m game,” Tommy tells them. “I actually just replaced my stove a month ago, we can stop by the shop where I got mine and schedule an installation. I’m friends with the mechanic so it won’t be that long of a wait time.”

Chimney claps him on the back. “You’re a lifesaver, man.”

“Aren’t we all.”

Buck laughs and shuffles away to the bathroom, throwing out a “Don’t embarrass me while I’m gone” over his shoulder that’s met with a “No promises” from both his sister and his friend and his – boyfriend, is it too soon? It doesn’t matter. He’s in too good of spirits to be brought down.

When alone in the steamy bathroom, Buck wipes at the mirror to see his reflection, places his fingers where Tommy had them and tilts his face this way and that, and notices how bright and cheery his face is. It’s a welcome sight. Buck likes it, likes who he is and how his family does, too.

Buck deserves this, and for once actually believes that he does.

@free-to-be-impaled tagging you per your request.

[whoisshel]

What Do I Call You Pt. 3

pt. 1 and pt. 2

summary: the baby is on her way and we finally figure out what to call her.

Stretching your legs, you let out a hum of satisfaction. You were five days away from your due date, and with how big your stomach is plus how bad the back pain is, there isn’t much you can or feel like doing other than sitting on the couch. Which is what you’ve been doing for the last couple of hours switching between watching TV and looking through multiple baby name books.

Four months and you still haven’t been able to find the perfect baby name for your baby girl. As much as you would like her to come into the world already so you can finally hold her and get your body back, you don’t want her to come into the world without a name.

As you let out a loud exaggerated sigh, a hand tightens its grip on your calf. Steve looks over at you from where he sits on the other side of the couch.

“Not finding any good names, yet?” Steve asks, giving you another reassuring squeeze.

Dropping the baby name book on your face, you let out a miserable, “No.”

“Don’t worry,” Steve picked up your feet, placing them on the couch as he stood up, “We’ll find the perfect name for our baby girl soon.”

Steve comes to sit next to you on your end of the couch, taking the book off your face.

“Hey.” Steve put both hands on your cheeks to get you to face him, “She’s going to have the perfect name to match how perfect she is.”

“She is going to be perfect, isn’t she?” A smile replaced your pout as you placed a hand on your belly thinking about what she’ll be like.

“Of course she will be, she has us as parents.” Stev gloated along with you.

“You chuckled, looking deeply into Steve’s eyes, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Steve leaned down to kiss you. Taking the hand that was on your belly, you brushed it into Steve’s hair deepening the kiss. With the round belly in the way, you start sitting up as the kiss becomes more intense and your grip on his hair tightens. Steve starts to stand up to bring you to a more comfortable spot in your bedroom. You start to follow when a sharp pain hits you, causing your face to scrunch in discomfort.

“Ow,” Steve chuckles, bringing his hand up to his lip. You hadn’t realized that you bit down when the pain shocked you, “I knew you liked it kinky, but didn’t know you liked it rough.”

Bringing your thumb up to brush against his now red bottom lip, your face showed remorse, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.”

“It’s okay,” Steve kneeled down, grabbing your hand with both of his, “Did the baby kick you hard?”

“No, I think it was a contraction.” You answered, shocked, once you remembered what made you bite him in the first palace.

Steve stood up quickly, shock and fear all over his face, “What?”

“Yeah, it kind of felt like the Braxton Hicks I had a couple of weeks ago, but a tad more painful.”

As you’re explaining the feeling, Steve starts to become more worrisome. When you finished talking, he ran to your room and came back with your hospital bag.

“Wait,” You try to stop him as he walks away again, “Steve wait.”

Steve comes back with your shoes and starts putting them on you.

“Steve, stop.” You bring a hand to rest on his to stop him as he ties your shoes.

“Why? We’ve got to get to the hospital.” Steve tried to push your hands out of the way to continue tying your laces, but you wouldn’t budge.

“Steve, honey, stop. Stop!” You were growing irritated as you both continued to push each other's hands like children, “This baby isn’t coming out anytime soon. We’ve got our to wait and I’m not doing that in the hospital.”

“Hours?!” Steve’s eyes grew wide at this news like he didn’t read the baby books.

“Or even days.” 

Steve’s eyes grew wider and his voice became louder, “Days?!”

“Hey, sweetie,” You grab both of Steve’s hands, “Why don’t you get a bath ready for us and we’ll just relax.”

“Okay, yeah.” Steve mindlessly nodded, standing up, “Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.”

Steve walked away towards the bathroom, giving you a moment to calm yourself down.

Looking down at your stomach, you place a hand on it, “You’re almost here, baby girl, and you don’t even have a name.”

Closing your eyes, you lean back letting out a heavy sigh feeling tears form, “You’re almost here.” You repeat in a whisper.

Steve re-enters the room, but stops in his tracks at the sight of you, “Hey, are you okay?”

You open your eyes as Steve comes to stand in front of you, “Yeah, I’m okay. Help me up?”

You raise your hands out to Steve, he takes them and pulls you to a stand. You raise your arms to wrap around his neck and play with the hair at the nape of his neck. Steve places his hands on your waist, squeezing it when he notices more tears appear in your eyes.

“Steve, we’re going to have a baby,” You let out a watery chuckle while tears start falling.

Steve starts to tear up, “Yeah, we are.”

“I’m scared.” The chuckling has stopped.

“Me too, baby, me too.” Steve reaches a hand up to wipe your tears away, “But everything will be alright, remember she’s going to be perfect. Now, let’s relax and go take that bath before it’s cold.”

“That sounds good,” You sighed, leaning your head onto Steve’s chest.

Steve placed one hand on the back of your head, lightly caressing with his thumb, while the other brought you in as close as he could by the waist. Steve placed a long kiss on the top of your head, taking in the last moments of it ever just being the two of you.

———————-

After staying in the bath until the water was almost freezing, the two of you started to prepare everything you needed for the hospital. While you had a bag ready, knowing you had more time you added extra things to your list of essentials. More clothes were packed, along with food, pillows, and blankets. You didn’t plan on staying in the hospital for too long, there was no telling what complications may occur that would cause you to stay longer than you intended. 

As you continued your packing, you had to take breaks here and there from the contractions. You were practically done and about to have your last meal at home for the next couple of days, but before you could reach the dining table, you felt one of your worst contractions tear through your abdomen. You braced yourself, leaning against the back of the couch gritting your teeth to muffle the growl that couldn’t help but come out with every continuing contraction.

“Alright, that’s seven minutes apart. We should head to the hospital.” Steve worried as he stood behind you, massaging your lower back to help you as much as he could.

“No,” You groaned through the last bit of pain. Letting out a sigh and standing up straight as it ended. “They won’t let me eat once I get there. So we’ll go after I finish every last crumb of this meal.”

You had gotten halfway through the giant sandwich Steve made for you when you had to pause as another contraction began.

“And that’s five minutes.” Steve looked up from the watch on his wrist, “We’re going to the hospital. You can finish eating on the way.”

“Fine,” You grumbled, giving in to Steve to stop his worrying, “But let me change first, my water broke.”

“What!” Steve frantically stood up and looked at the floor below your seat that now had a puddle there, “Oh my god, you stress me out.”

———————-

You were now lying in a hospital bed crushing Steve’s hand with both of yours leaning your head on Streve’s shoulder as another contraction ripped through you. With his other hand, Steve rubbed your back and spoke encouraging words to you.

Once it ended, you relaxed against the hospital bed, taking deep breaths. Steve moved his hand to squeeze your shoulder, while he stretched out the other one after you released it from your tight grip.

“Okay, let’s see how dilated you are, shouldn’t be too much longer.” Your doctor came up to you as she put on a glove. You kept your eyes closed as you tried to stay relaxed as long as you could before the next contraction. “I was right. Dad, can you help get her legs up, on the next contraction I’m going to have you push.”

Steve took a moment to realize that she was referring to him when she said, “Dad.”

Grabbing your leg, he pulled it up to your chest just in time for another contraction and for you to push. Using as much energy as you could muster up, you pushed as hard as you could with a loud yell. When the contraction ended, you once again leaned back, this time your breathing was rapid and heavy.

———————-

You’d been pushing for what felt like forever but had only been about two hours. You were becoming exhausted from the tumultuous torture of womanhood, the knowledge of what was to come helped you through the exhaustion.

“That was good, your daughter’s head is almost out.” The doctor announced trying to give you the encouragement you needed, “Push as hard as you can for the next contraction, okay?”

Sitting back up with the help of Steve’s hand on your back, you let out a gruff yell pushing with everything you had. A few seconds later, you watched in what felt like slow motion as the doctor grabbed onto your baby and pulled her out the rest of the way.

Laying back, you let out a cry of happiness and tiredness at the sight of your baby girl. Looking over at Steve, you saw tears in his eyes as he too looked after your daughter. Tapping his arm with your hand to get his attention, you waved him to watch after your daughter as the doctors looked her over and cleaned her off. He walked over to the other side of your bed to be able to stay near you but have a better view of your girl.

When the doctors were finished, they brought her back over to you carefully laying her on your chest.

“Oh, Steve,” You gently whispered, keeping your eyes on your baby as you felt Steve lean in close to the both of you, “She’s perfect.”

Steve brought a hand up to caress his daughter’s chubby cheek, sniffling, “Yeah, she is so perfect.”

You and Steve had a few minutes to enjoy your new family. You were still lying in the bed as you watched Steve have his own skin-to-skin moment with your daughter on the chair next to the hospital bed.

As you were both cooing at your newborn, a soft knock sounded from the other side of the door. The door creaked open to reveal a nurse coming in with a clipboard.

“Hi, just have one last question for you two then we’ll let you enjoy your new family for a few hours.” The nurse explained as she stood in front of the two of you, “Do you have a name picked out?”

Steve looked over at you with wide eyes as you’d both completely forgotten that when your labor had started. You looked back at him with a smile and zero worry knowing exactly what her name was going to be.

Looking back at the nurse, you gave your answer, “Stevie, her name’s Stevie Sloane Harrington.”

Steve’s eyes widened even more at the name you decided on.

“Cute,” The nurse muttered writing it down on the clipboard, “I’ll let you three be alone now.”

Once she was gone, Steve was finally out of his state of shock, walking over to you with baby Stevie in his arms.

“Are you serious?” These are the only words Steve could think of.

“Yeah,” You responded, nodding excitedly.

“I thought you didn’t want to name her after me?”

Taking Steve out of his arms, settling her in yours before answering his question, “Well, I thought it over and thought Steve is a great name for our girl. She’ll obviously be really cool since I’m her mom, so it’ll fit her well. Stevie Nicks is my favorite singer. But most importantly, she’s named after the best person I know in this world.”

“I love you.” Steve leaned down to kiss you.

“I love you too.” You said back in between kisses.

Steve leaned over to kiss your daughter on the forehead, “And I love you, Stevie.”

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

༉‧₊˚. 𝐯𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 || 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

― pairing: therapist!spencer reid x plus size!reader

― summary: you felt like you were staring in an episode of fleabag as you found yourself walking to your therapist office after sleeping with him the night before.

― warnings: therapist!spencer reid, no unbalanced power dynamics, mentioned past sexual activity, referenced desk sex, referenced office sex, office sex, couch sex, praise, heavy kissing, making out, unprotected sex (be safe please!), vaginal sex, rough sex, coming inside, teasing, fluff, fluff at the end, fleabag references because it's a great show go watch it.

― wc: 1337

⋆ a/n: ahhh! it feels so great to be back! i told you guys i would come back with another smut fic, and honestly, this was a great refresher! at first, i wasn't sure if i wanted to go this route, but it's been an idea i've had for a while. i made sure that i wrote it to where i was comfortable with it, and in no way am i encouraging you sleeping with your therapist! this is completely fictional! *this is a repost

masterlist | AO3

“We’ve danced around each other for long enough, don’t you think?” Were words you hadn’t expected to hear as you sat down in your therapist’s office that afternoon. Sure, you had been dancing around your very inappropriate feelings for him because it was all kinds of wrong, but that kind of seemed to slip your mind as you allowed him to take you right there on his desk, pants shoved down, and lips joined in a searing kiss as he fucked you.

You must admit that session was more effective than the other ones have been. Could you really blame you? C’mon, everyone knew that Spencer Reid was fucking hot, and seriously good at his job, so you knew you were fucked the moment he greeted you with that goofy grin of his. You have been doing significantly better mentally, but who says a little extra help wouldn’t be beneficial?

There was a skip in your step as you made your way to his office, the ache between your legs beginning to subtly creep up on you as you knocked on his door. You could hear a faint ‘Come in!’ before you did, slipping in the room, excitement bubbling in your stomach as you practically ate the man up with your eyes.

“Ah, Miss _______, sit down.” He greeted with a smirk on his face, gesturing to the sofa that you would usually lay on. You knew this was all some part of foreplay, he wouldn’t look at you with this dark, glossed over eyes if it wasn’t. You found your breathing speeding up as he walked over to you, his long frame hanging over yours as he planted his hands on either side of you, gripping onto the back of the couch for leverage. You tilted your head up, desperate for any kind of contact with him as your lips brushed up against his, his breath hitting them.

“What seems to be the problem today?” Spencer asked tauntingly. Your whole body tingled as you answered him, “I’ve been thinking too much since our last session.” His right hand fell to cup the side of your neck, his thumb intimidatingly stroking the side of it as you shivered. “Oh? And what brought this up?” Your hands slid up his chest when you gripped onto his tie, tugging his body farther downwards.

“You.” You whispered before kissing him.

He shared the same amount of vigor before he pulled away from you so that he could switch positions so that he was now the one sitting down. You clambered onto his lap, tangling your fingers in his untamable curly blonde hair, his own keeping a bruising grip on your plush hips so that he could assist you in grinding down on his ever-growing bulge. You whimpered against his lips as his slacks rubbed against your jean covered clit.

“You think you could cum from this?” He heaved, his voice deep and bellowing as he watched you. “Why don’t you find out, Dr. Reid?” You teased with a slow drag of your crotch. He all but growled, shoving your jacket off your shoulders before dropping down to the hem of your shirt, pretty much tearing it off you and throwing it somewhere in his office. He helped you to take off his suit jacket as you rushed to pop open the buttons of his collared shirt, the male loosening his tie and letting it drop to the floor. His bare chest was now open for you to see. You could see some age on his body but nevertheless, he was toned, a pudge in stomach giving his hard body some plushness.

This was the body of a man, a man that you wanted to take care of you, to fuck you. You began to kiss once more before he began to nip your jaw and neck, your head falling back to give him more access to your sensitive skin.

His hands crept to unhook your bra, the cups releasing your breasts for him to cup, feeling the heaviness in his hands as he nipped on the tops of them, listening to the sounds of your blissful whines as he marked up your body. It was like your clothes hid a secret, a wonderful secret that was only between the two of you as you would walk out of his office with your body aching pleasantly.

“Spence..” You mewled, “Can you fuck me please? I need it so badly; I think I might explode.” The last part was meant to be a joke, but you honestly weren’t sure, some truth hiding behind your words as he chuckled against your skin. “So needy,” He tsked, grabbing a handful of your ass and smacking it lightly, “Strip for me then.”

You were quick to stand, shoving down your pants and panties. He lifted his hips so he could slide down his slacks and underwear too, both of you completely bare and vulnerable. You were happy that you remembered to lock the door, mentally patting yourself on the back for your quick thinking.

“How do you want it?” He meant which position. When it came to Spencer, he’d always make sure that you knew that you were in control of everything that was happening around you. “Missionary? I don’t feel like putting too much work in today.” He only rolled his eyes with a smile, but nonetheless stood as well so that you could lay down. “I sure hope you have disinfectant wipe for this couch.” You said playfully, opening your legs so that he could line himself against your opening. “I always come prepared.” And with that, he entered you, the stretch a pleasant pain as heat shot up your spine. Your nails dug into his biceps, a moan exiting you, a groan coming from the doctor.

“Fuck, Spence you can move, please.. I please-“ You were rendered speechless as he moved inside of you, leaning off of your body so that he could lean on the back of his calves, arms wrapped around your large thighs, his palms sinking into the skin of your inner thighs. “So good, so fucking good for me.” He praised, the beat of his thighs marking your flesh. The sting pushed you deeper into pleasure as you grabbed desperately at the leather material below you. You were for sure going to leave streaks, but it didn’t seem to bother you or him.

Your chest heaved, Spencer pulsing deep inside of you as you clenched around him, selfishly sucking him in as if putting him in a trance. “Shit. You keep doing that and this won’t last long.” He grunted, hips stuttering at your squeeze. “I don’t- I don’t care.” You huffed out with a smile. You could feel him glaring at you as you did it again, but all you received was a choked sound from him, rendering him silent. With every bruising drag that he delivered to your g-spot drug you closer to your orgasm, and you knew that he knew too.

“Let’s cum together.” He just nodded, his hair sticking to his forehead, a bead of sweat dribbling down his chest and in between his pecks. Your back felt undeniably sticky as it stuck to the sofa. Yeah, you were going to need to take a spritz shower after this.

Your legs spasmed before your vision went white, the feeling of Spencer emptying inside of you was the only thing keeping you hooked to reality as you had begun to come down from your orgasmic bliss. He pulled out of you gently once he had gone soft. You groaned, looking at him as he searched around his office for a few articles of your clothing. You couldn’t help but let out a little snort at the sight of Spencer’s bare butt on show as he actively avoided the large, open windows.

“Are you making fun of me?” He rasped with a smirk. You just laughed, shaking your head as you sat up.

“I would never, Doc.”

ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @their-love

[dancingtotuyo]

Scathed 8 (Javier Peña)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: anxiety, trauma, self worth, smoking, idiot(s) in love?, curly hair care (all you curly girls with straigh hair mothers know the painnnnnnn,)

Notes: shoutout @janaispunk for beta reading and letting me yell and for being sad for these characters

Words: 3809

Series Master List | Author Master List

Journal Entry July 16, 1994

This summer has been good, surprisingly so. I went to the fair this year. Usually, the kids just go with Dad and Anna. We’ve done movies, and events downtown, and busy Saturday mornings at the hardware store. It doesn’t mean I haven’t puked afterward, but having Javier around has been nice.

Oh, and I registered for classes at the community college. I start at the end of August.

Emily sat on her bed, flipping through the photographs taken over the summer. Most of them were ones she’d taken, but every once in a while, one of the kids got a hold of it. They held evidence of the summer she’d been able to give her kids, and Javier was in almost all of them.

As she flipped through the final few of the stack, the last photo stood out. Her birthday, the one Ale had blinded her with. It turned out nicely. Her smiling at Javier, him smiling at her over the flaming candles, caught before they could react to the flash. She couldn’t pull her eyes away from it. A singular, perfect, magical moment caught on film.

She dropped the rest of them in the shoe box for safekeeping until she was ready to put the photo book together. The birthday one she slipped between the frame of her vanity mirror. She wanted a reminder of that day

“Mommm!” Miguelito called, opening her door.

Emily jumped, hand landing over her heart as she turned toward him. “How many times have I told you to knock?”

“Sorry.” He grinned. “Mateo isn’t getting ready like you said, and he’s making a mess in our room.”

She glanced over her oldest’s appearance, folding her hands over her chest. “And you’re completely ready, could hop in the car right now, I suppose?”

“I still have to brush my hair and teeth.”

“Then I suggest you go do that.”

Miguelito folded his lips in, looking to the side before he spun on his heels and walked away. Emily laughed to herself before making her way to the boys’ room to check in on her youngest. Sure enough, he sat next to the toy chest, playing contently with his new Playmobil set.

“Mateo,” she said, voice soft.

The boy’s head snapped up to her, a sheepish grin appearing.

“Are you ready to go?”

“No,” He shook his head, somehow still managing to look innocent.

“I put your clothes out on your bed an hour ago.”

“I’ll get dressed now.”

“Thank you.” She nodded, holding out her hand. “I’m going to hold onto your Playmobil until you’re ready to go, okay? So you don’t get distracted.”

Mateo looked between his new toy and his mother, not wanting to part with it. Emily waited with patience as he made his decision. “Once you’re ready, you can have it back.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” Emily smiled. With the added assurance, he handed the toy to his mother and rushed over to his clothes. “Don’t forget your hair and teeth.”

“I won’t!”

Emily smiled, leaving the room as a shirt went flying. Alejandra found her seconds later, brush and hairties in hand. “Can I have two braids today?”

Emily glanced down at her watch. They were already running behind. What was a few extra minutes at this point? “Go sit at the table.”

Alejandra had a big stubborn knot at the back of her head. That was what Emily got for not brushing it out before bed last night and the night before. The detangler bottle was all but empty. Alejandra had more hair than her mother and that was saying something. Emily let out a long sigh as she soaked the knot with watered-down detangler. “You’ve got rats nest back here, Mija. I’ll do my best, but it’s probably gonna hurt.”

Alejandra only nodded. The mother and daughter duo were more than familiar with the process, both individually and together. Emily had her own memories of sitting at the kitchen table as her mother brushed through massive knots, leaving her hair massive and frizzy. There had been plenty of tears in her younger years before her scalp toughened, Her mother hadn’t known how to handle the texture or the amount of hair she had. Looking back at pictures, Emily knew exactly when she began caring for her own hair as a preteen.

It was Emily’s goal to make this time as painless as possible for her daughter. It didn’t mean there weren’t ever tears. Ale’s scalp had started out tender, but Emily was sure to be as delicate as possible, using as much detangler and conditioner as needed, being gentle with the combs, teasing the curls back to life afterward.

Emily didn’t yell or fuss when her daughter tried to get away from the pain. The mother did her best to distract from the pain with jokes or stories. Overall, she shaped the hours of hair care into quality time, something she’d always wanted her mother to do with it.

“Mami?”

“Yes, baby?” The comb caught on an extra ratty tangle. Alejandra hissed. “Sorry.”

She reached back, rubbing her scalp gently before allowing her mother to continue. “I think we need to do that conditioner treatment thing again.”

“I think you’re right.” Emily kissed her head. “I’ll put it on the list. It helped a lot.”

Ale nodded. “Do you think Mr. Javi is going to think we ditched him? We were supposed to be there already.”

“I think he’s very used to us being late.” Emily laughed, freeing the last of the tangle with a deep sigh. She sprayed the hair again, letting it curl up a little before she began to part it.

“I think we should call him.”

“He’s probably at the park already.”

“I’ll leave a message. Just so he knows I was worried when he gets home.”

Emily rolled her eyes playfully, grabbing the phone off the wall behind her. The extra long cord lay flat on the floor between the wall and table. She handed it to Alejandra. “You know the number?”

The girl gave a firm single nod as she quickly dialed the number having memorized it at the beginning of the summer. She kicked her legs back and forth, bare feet brushing the legs of her chair under the table. Emily tied half of the curls to the side. “Look up at the ceiling, Ale.”

She obeyed, pressing the phone to her ear. Emily could hear it ringing as she focused on pulling all of the baby hairs around Ale’s hairline into the tight French braid. “Boys! Time to put on your socks and shoes!”

“Hello?” Javier’s static voice came through the phone.

Ale’s eyes lit up as she sat up a little straighter. “Mr. Javi! You’re supposed to be at the park already!”

He chuckled. “So are you, Alejandrina.”

“Yeah, but we always run late. You don’t.”

Emily shook her head, trying to hold in her laughter as she efficiently twisted Ale’s hair into the braid with minimal flyaways. Nothing like being called out by your own kid.

“I was just about to leave my house. What are you doing right now?”

“Mami is braiding my hair. I had a big tangle, otherwise, we would’ve been almost on time.”

“Well, that means I need to get going if I want to beat you there.”

Emily tied off the first French braid.

“Drive fast 'cause she just finished my first braid.” Alejandra tilts her head back again so Emily can start the second.

“Do your brothers have their shoes on?”

“Nope, still in their room.”

“Boys!” Emily called again. Javier’s chuckle came through a little louder. A faint Coming echoed from their room.

“He’s laughing at you,” Ale grinned up at her mother.

“Tell him to shut up.”

Ale’s eyes grew wide. “But I’m not allowed to say that. It’s not nice.”

“One-time exception.” Emily winked.

Alejandra bit her lip. Her honey-brown eyes sparkled with brief debate. Was she really being given permission? “Mami says to shut up.” She said it quickly like the permission might expire.

Javier kept laughing, it coming from deep within his chest this time. Emily let out a groan as she scrapped the braid and started over. The second one never cooperated like the first.

“I’ll see you soon,” Javier said.

“See you soon,” Alejandra replied and the line went dead. She handed the phone back to Emily who placed it back in the cradle. “We gotta go fast so we can beat him.” She wiggled excitedly in the chair.

The braid slipped through Emily’s fingers again and she let out a frustrated groan. “I’m trying, Mija. Boys!”

Finally, two pairs of footsteps echoed down the hallway. Mateo grabbed his toy off the table with a proud grin. “Tennis shoes with the laces, Mateo.” She reminded him.

Mateo groaned, dropping his velcro shoes where he stood. He was about to start kindergarten in the fall and she was desperate to get him ahead on the shoelace tying assignment. She’d learned her lesson from Alejandra’s kindergarten year. She’d essentially homeschooled Miguelito through Kindergarten in Mexico and managed to skip that assignment.

“I’ll help you,” Miguelito said.

Despite having to start Alejandra’s braid over for a fourth time, Emily found herself smiling as she listened to Miguelito’s patient and encouraging exchange with his younger brother over the tying of laces.

The flyaways weren’t as wrangled in the second braid, but finally, Emily tied it off. The Texas heat and sweat would pull them out soon enough. “Alright, shoes my dear.” She kissed Alejandra’s head

She popped out of the chair, pulling her shoes on as quick as possible. Matoe kicked his feet back and forth on the couch wearing a huge grin. “Done!”

“He did the second one all by himself!” Miguelito exclaimed, looking proud.

“That’s amazing,” Emily smiled brightly, smushing Mateo’s cheek with a kiss. “I’m very proud of you.”

“Thank you, Mommy.”

“Okay! Let’s go!” Alejandra said, panting as if she’d used all her energy to pull on her shoes. “We have to beat Mr. Javi!”

The family of four bustled out of the house, with only one person having to run back in for a forgotten item. Alejandra was certain they would beat Javier to the park until they pulled in next to his faded red pickup. He leaned against it, arms crossed, sunglasses on the tip of his nose, and shirt half unbuttoned as usual.

Alejandra sighed exasperatedly with a loud huff. Javier smiled, waving to her through the window as she glared at him. “He definitely speeded.”

“Sped,” Miguelito corrected.

Javier stuck his tongue out at Alejandra from the other side of the glass. She mimicked him. Emily bit back a laugh.

They set up their picnic under the shade of a large oak tree set off the playground. The park was relatively quiet for a Saturday with only one other family nearby, but they knew it likely would be. That’s why they picked it. Set outside the city limits, it was a longer drive for the Kuykendall crew, but closer to Javier.

After lunch, Emily and Javier were pulled into a game of Blind Man’s Bluff which ended when a blinded Javier knocked his head against the monkey bars. Luckily for the adults, the children from the other family asked to join.

“How’s your head?” Emily laughed, falling to the picnic blanket, laughter still lacing her voice.

Javier rubbed it, easing down with a soft groan. He wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to get off the ground between his aging bones and the hot summer day. “Been better but I’ll live.” He eased onto his back, letting the faint breeze ease over him.

Emily grabbed a water bottle from the cooler. handing it back to him. Cool droplets splashed over his chest and head. Javier placed it against his carotid artery, humming with contentment. “It’s hotter than I realized today.”

Emily nodded, pulling her hair out of the loose ponytail. “Should probably make the kids come cool down before too long.” She dug into the cooler again, searching for her own water bottle.

Javier’s eyes followed the sway of her curls. His hand floated up of its own accord, letting one twist gently around his finger. Emily didn’t even notice. He sighed softly. He needed to tell her. The thought passed as his heat-soaked brain caught up and he let it drop. The feel of her soft hair against his skin stayed.

“They should sleep good tonight.”

“We all should,” Emily sighed, pressing the water bottle to her neck.

“Nightmares been keeping you up?” Javier asked, easing into a sitting position.

“Not as often as they had. You?” She glanced at him, pulling her hair over one shoulder.

Javier bit his lip, arms slung over his knees. A pit formed in his stomach. He knew he had to tell her. He couldn’t put it off any longer, not when he had a date circled on the calendar. “A little more the past week.”

“Something happen?” Javier looked away, a newfound interest in the tree to their left. His brow creased, frown lines appearing around his mouth. Emily felt the air shift. She fought the fight or flight response itching to life inside her. “Javier?”

He swallowed, pulling his attention back to her. “The DEA offered me a position,” he huffed, pulling up some of the grass beside him. “Hell, it’s a promotion really, back in Colombia. They want me to help take down Cali.”

Emily’s heart dropped. She tried to hide the dread that filled her, but he could see it. “When do you leave?”

“Never said I was going.”

“Didn’t have to. You wouldn’t be actin like someone died if you weren’t.”

Javier finally met her eyes through the light tint of his sunglasses. She chewed on her lip, eyes glistening even in the shade. “I’m sorry,” he said. His arm settled across her leg, hand hanging on her calf. Their thighs pressed against each other. Even in the scorching heat, neither minded.

“When do you leave?”

“August 5th”

Emily looked away, eyes tracking each of her children on the playground. They still played happily with the other children, having moved to a regular game of tag. “How long?”

“Contract’s for a year. Could be longer though. Just depends.”

Her gut twisted in a million tiny knots. She had so many questions. Some for him, and some for herself. Would she still be able to do all these things without him?

“You didn’t tell me they’d offered you a position.”

It was a silly thing to say. He didn’t owe her anything, but she felt a little hurt he hadn’t told her he was even considering it. “I didn’t think I would at first, but they kept calling and I-” Javier took a deep breath.

“You realized you had unfinished business.” She met his eyes again.

Javier sucked in a deep breath. “Yeah…”

She nodded, leaning into him slightly so their shoulders touched. He squeezed her calf softly as she wove her arms through his. The breeze picked up a little, providing some relief. Slowly, her body leaned into him more. Emily hesitated only slightly before letting her head drop to his shoulder.

Javier looked at it, almost in disbelief as the faint smell of her shampoo drifted his way. His heart pounded in his chest as his brain ran wild, setting off all the signals like he was a teenager asking his crush to homecoming. He hadn’t felt this way in years.

He wanted to press a kiss to her forehead. He wanted to do more than that, but the better-behaved part of his brain warned against it. One day, maybe he could kiss her head like well-meaning friends do, but not now. He wasn’t in the position to be a well-meaning friend today, and she had still hesitated to fully relax into him. Instead, he settled on resting his head against hers.

She kept her eyes focused on the kids. He kept his on her.

“Don’t forget about us, Okay?” She said.

Javier nudged against her softly, a soft smile ghosting over his lips. “Never. Couldn’t break Alejandra’s heart like that.”

She laughed and his heart lifted. “She’s grown quite fond of Mr. Javi.” She nudged him back, looking his way again. The whole world melted away when she looked at him like that.

Javier chuckled. He tucked a runaway curl behind Emily’s ear, careful not to linger. “Hope she’s not the only one.”

“I mean I think the boys will miss you too, but they don’t seem to have the same… affinity for you,” Emily winked at him. “that Ale does.”

“And my best friend?” Javier said. It was the first time the words felt painful to say like they didn’t cover the full scope of what Emily was to him.

“Will miss you greatly.” She squeezed his arm. “Not sure how I’m gonna function without you really.” She said it with an air of humor, but they both knew there was a real question buried under it.

He searched her eyes, racking his brain for something to say, but nothing came.

The kids came running back, Alejandra running through their bubble first followed by Miguelito, and then Mateo lagging behind on his shorter legs.

“Everyone needs to sit and drink some water,” Emily instructed.

Javier thought she might pull away, switch instantly into mom mode as he’d seen her do so many times, but she stayed against him as the kids followed her instructions with heavy panting.

Javier smiled taking in the scene. It made him wonder if he was doing the right thing. He had doubts about going back to Colombia, but the pull to finish it once and for all had outweighed them all. This right here, balanced the scales, tipping them in the other direction even.

Without warning, Alejandra gasped looking directly at the adults. “Don’t move.”

She dug around in Emily’s bag, pulling out the Polaroid camera Emily toted everywhere. Ale had as big of an affinity for taking pictures as her mother.

“Ale, I’m all sweaty,” Emily said as her daughter held it up.

“No mami, you look beautiful,” She chastised. “Now smile.”

“Do as the lady says.” Javier chuckled, shifting so his arm was behind Emily’s back as he let a genuine smile overtake his face. Emily’s hand fell to his knee. She sighed, but obeyed, smiling at the camera.

Ale shifted around, making sure to get the correct angle until finally the camera flashed. She announced it was “perfect” before the photo had fully spit out of the camera and placed it carefully in the case Emily kept for developing photos.

Javier chuckled next to her as he slowly pulled away from her. Even in the sweltering Texas heat, Emily missed him next to her.

Emily lay in bed that night, sheets kicked to her feet. She couldn’t get it out of her mind. Javier was leaving. Leaving Texas, leaving her, and he didn’t know when he was going to be back. What if he didn’t come back? The thought turned her blood to ice, sparking the flame of anxiety. She shot up, sweat gathering across her skin as she struggled to catch her breath. She couldn’t go there, couldn’t let the thoughts consume her, but they already had. Try as she might, none of her usual tools worked to combat it as images of Javier lying in the street with a bullet hole filled her brain.

Finally, she pulled herself out of bed on shaky feet. She grabbed a stray pack of cigarettes and a lighter off the table on her way to the backyard, barely keeping it together long enough to flick the lighter to life and inhale the smoke. Her shaking steadied with the first hit of nicotine. The rhythm of it gave her mind a distraction, pressing the butt to her lips, the orange glow at the tip, smoke filling her lungs and then releasing into the air. She hadn’t smoked in months, deciding to stop when Javier did, but tonight none of that mattered. He was leaving her.

The door opened behind her. She spun around to find her father, looking disheveled in his boxers and opened robe with his hair sticking up. He lifted an eyebrow. He returned the gesture, holding out his hand for the pack of cigarettes. She handed it over with the lighter.

Jaime methodically pulled one out, flicking the lighter with more ease and steady hand than Emily had moments before. The father and daughter stood next to each other, their silhouettes copies of the other in the moonlight.

“Haven’t caught you out here in a while.”

“Was I loud?”

“Rattled the whole house when you slammed the door.”

Emily cringed, taking another drag from the cigarette. “Sorry.”

“What’s wrong?”

She waited a second, flicking the ash. “I’m guessing you already know.”

Jaime sighed. “I knew he was offered it. Just found out he accepted last evenin.” Emily bristled slightly. “It’s just a year, Sweetheart.”

“No, the contract is for a year.”

Jaime turned toward his daughter. She looked like the Emily he’d known before the spring, the one who was scared and jumpy all the time, not the blooming flower he’d come to know in the past few months. The difference was night and day. He didn’t want to see her go back to that place.

“Em…”

“What if he doesn’t make it back?” Emily interrupted him, letting the internal thoughts become external. “What if he gets shot or worse, and I never see him again?”

He reached out, putting an arm around his daughter. He kissed her head, rubbing soothing circles against her back. Tears gathered in Emily’s eyes.

“He’s good at what he does.”

“Even the best agents get killed.”

Jaime nodded. He’d know some of those. He kept his mouth shut and let Emily talk. That was what she needed anyway. She talked through all of it until she started leaning into him more, words slurring with sleep until she all but fell asleep standing against him.

He smiled, guiding his grown, sleepwalking daughter through the house. He tucked her into bed, all the nights he missed when she was little flickering through his mind. It was these nights when it hit the most. The what ifs. What if he’d pursued more legal action against her mother? What if he hadn’t let the DEA whisk him off to Guadalajara without a custody agreement? The guilt of it all never left him.

He pushed the hair out of her face, setting one last kiss on her forehead. As he closed the door behind him, he heard her soft, slurred words. “Goodnight, Dad.”

He smiled to himself. “Goodnight, Sweetheart.”

[sparrowrye]

Demi Demon || Alastor x Reader, A2 part 15

Synopsis: It’s been over a year since we were brought under Alastor’s watchful eye. We’ve unlocked our Demonic powers, discovered our own talents, and began building the Safe Haven with Charlie and co. Alastor seems increasingly interested in the power we hold as one and intends to use it properly.

Previous part

Part 15: new terms

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I quickly discovered Alastor's distaste for being ignored.

After the stunt he pulled with my blood, I was determined to keep my distance. He attempted conversation multiple times but I responded with a short answer or a shrug. He attempted to ask what was wrong but that made me further upset. For being soulmates, he sucked at realizing which of his many actions pissed me off.

After the second day, I noticed a lack of meat in the fridge. Before my cravings turned dangerous, I knew I had to pay him a visit. I had to do it with a clear head so I had to do it soon. I hoped the craving I felt was the usual and not the one for his blood.

I gave myself until the third day. I waited in the hallway outside his office, making sure to keep his broadcast from reaching my ears through the door. I didn't want to hear the screams of his trapped souls and dangerous threats. I needed to have confidence to face him.

I was examining my claws, world still silent, when the door opened. My senses came running back as I looked up to meet his grin. "Are you finally gracing me with your presence?" he mused.

"I want to talk."

"Then come in, darling." He held the door open and motioned with his other hand. The hair on my arms and neck stood up. It felt like I was walking right into a spider's web or a wolf's den.

I swallowed, then pushed off the wall. The room was darker than the rest of the house. It grew even darker when he closed the door behind me. I felt trapped, immediately regretting to come in rather than talk in the hallway.

"Come sit, dear." He motioned to the one chair at the fireplace and seated himself in his desk chair. He sat back, legs crossed, and leaned his cheek on his knuckles. His eyes never left me. "Tell me, why the abrasive attitude as of late?"

"I don't appreciate what you did the other night."

"I take it you don't appreciate much of what I do. You'll need to be specific."

This was the type of Alastor I hated dealing with, the type that I had fought against when I first came here.

I tried to mimic his position by leaning into my chair and resting my elbow on the arm of it. I gently brushed my fingers along the part of my neck where he had sank his teeth into three days ago. He lifted his eyebrows but said nothing. He was going to make me say it.

"I didn't appreciate the way you...the way you took my blood a few days ago," I managed. My composure was nothing like his but I tried to tell myself this was practice.

"Is that the only reason you've been avoiding me?" he inquired. He sat up and let his hand fall in his lap. The way he sat wasn't aggressive or intimidating, but graceful and relaxed. It was a stark contrast to his tone, making it confusing on how I should be responding.

"That's reason enough," I tried with a firm tone.

"So you're not bothered by how I retrieved my information from Blackwater's man?"

"I...what?"

"I was fully aware you were watching from my eyes. I was quite impressed you had managed to do it on your own from such a distance." He nodded his head with a smirk.

"I didn't...I..." I looked down at my claws. I didn't know he could feel me when I was watching. Yet that wasn't why I was confused. I hadn't been disturbed by the way he wrenched the man's soul out of his body. Was that because I was inside Alastor's mind, though? Thinking like him? Surely that was it. "We're getting off track."

"Indeed. Where were we?"

"The stunt you pulled three days ago."

"When I tasted your blood?"

"Yes." I leaned forward in the chair, ears back. "It hurt and you almost killed me."

"I may have taken more than necessary, but I wasn't going to kill you. It puts a strain on our bond when you're close to death."

"I didn't like the way you did it." I enunciated the last few words.

"It was the easiest and most efficient way," he said in a matter of fact tone. "Even you know the cravings can cloud your judgement."

"You didn't need to bite my neck. My arm would've been better."

"You have yet to accept the nature of your diet. I was attempting to give you space before I asked. Unless, of course, you want to make this more frequent..." he tapped his fingers individually on his knee, trailing his words at the end.

"You think this is funny."

"Amusing is a better word."

I abruptly stood. I kept the distance but standing higher than him gave me just an ounce of confidence. The way his eyes looked up at me sent a funny feeling through my chest. "I'm telling you now, it's a new boundary. Don't do it again."

My tail whisked behind me as I went to the door, eager to leave the confined space. His claws caught the end of my tail and tugged. I spun, my sharp dagger-filled eyes instantly losing their ferocity when he pushed my chin up with the back of his hand.

"Then how would you like to do it, darling?" The name rolled of his tongue and nailed my feet into the floor. I found myself unable to look away from his red eyes. The heat moved up from my chest and settled in my cheeks. "Come now, dear, tell me." He ever so lightly tapped his thumb on my chin.

"I..." I fell silent, completely unable to answer. I had forgotten what he even asked. He rubbed his claws on my tail and I pulled it out of his grip, finally having something to act upon.

His hand moved from my chin, over my shoulder, and snaked down to my wrist. He pulled it up to his mouth, breath fanning across my skin. "Would you prefer here?" Before I could answer he pulled my wrist higher, stretching my arm and forcing me take a step closer. "Perhaps here instead?" His lips brushed against my forearm.

It was hard to swallow. My throat was dry and my breathing was shallow, but for once not from his magic. I wanted to run but I couldn't let him win. He couldn't scare me anymore. I could go toe to toe with him. At least, I was trying.

I ripped my hand from his grip. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"You didn't like how we did it last time. I am merely asking for clarification." He put a hand on his chest with a fake pained look.

"That's not what you're doing and you know that." I pointed an accusatory finger at him.

"What exactly am I doing, then?" He tilted his head to the side. Embarrassment and anger boiled together. I turned for the door handle but he wrapped his claws around the underside of my wrist. It wasn't restricting but there was pressure. "Did you come in here in an attempt to scold me, or were you looking to satisfy something of your own?"

"It's not that bad yet." I let go of the handle to pull my hand away but his claws stayed wrapped around it, following it to where I held it over my chest. His presence was sitting on the outside of my shields, our energy bouncing between us. My hands had already begun to sweat.

"You are torturing yourself, dear." I watched his boots shift so they were closer to my foot claws. "Waiting until you're desperate and in pain. I reckon if you had more of my blood, you wouldn't need any Human's or Demon's blood again." He leaned closer, his chest nearly touching my back.

No more cannibalism, I realized. All I had to do was swallow the embarrassment and my own pride. Could I do that? He was having fun because it made me uncomfortable and embarrassed. If I treated it like it was nothing, maybe he would grow tired and stop the tormenting and teasing. The only problem was the act of taking blood hurt.

"What do you say, dear?" His radio filter was gone as he whispered in my ear. His other hand slipped into the one at my side and interlocked our fingers. His presence backed away from my mind while he closed the physical distance and pressed his chest against my back. I leaned into him, drawn in by his warmth, and stared down at his red claws still around my wrist.

"Okay."

"Okay what?" he pressed gently, filter still off.

"I'll take your blood instead."

"Only if you allow me to do the same. I will be more gentle next time."

"Okay."

"So it's a deal?" Filter back on. My nose scrunched in a snarl and I tried to pull my hand free from his clasped one. He squeezed tightly, refusing to let go. He took a sharp step forward and my arm near my chest barely had time to catch myself on the door. He was still holding onto that wrist.

"I already made a deal with you." I tried pushing against him but he pushed back harder. My forehead was only an inch from the door.

"You can make multiple deals with someone," he said lightly. "Besides, it only strengthens our bond further."

"And gives you the power you want. I'm not doing that." I tried pulling my hand free again but his grip was relentless and unmoving. His body was wrapping around mine and my chest heaved from my panicked breaths.

"I crave your blood just as much as you crave mine," he said next. "This is a means to ensure I don't lose such a delicate. The strengthen of our bond is merely an added bonus." His hair brushed against my neck as his face was completely side by side with mine. I couldn't control my erratic breathing. "Surely you don't wish to continue eating dead victims."

My arm was growing tired from holding the two of us up. I needed to breathe. Just once. "But why make it a deal?" I cursed myself as my voice pitched into a high whine.

"It prevents you from backing out."

I brought one knee up to the door and tried pushing again. "The fact that I would want to should cause concern on your part."

"It does not." His voice hardened. "You have fleeting emotions when it comes to your nature as a Demon. You are inconsistent."

"I have a right to be. A lot has changed for me."

"You have admitted to be inconsistent. Now you see why a deal would ensure you are consistent. I require your blood as much as you require mine, and I do not wish to argue each and every time."

I fell silent. He got me.

I lowered my leg and gave way with my sore arm. His presence gradually came back to the edges of my mind while his body inched away. I drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"So do we have a deal?" he asked again, quieter and softer.

I took my time, taking another slow, self-assured breath. "We take each other's blood when needed, but you must ask first."

I heard a quiet, terrifying snarl in my ear. "Deal." I felt the binding magic ignite from our already clasped hands. It wound its way up my arm and surrounded my heart. It ventured out to the rest of my body like a slow burn of electricity. It momentarily closed my throat and I drew in a sharp gasp when it passed.

It was quiet in the room now. I slowed my breathing and tried to relax my muscles. Alastor peeled his claws off my skin and stood up. His claw came back down on my shoulder a second later, gently turning me to face him. I leaned against the door for support.

He brushed the back of his hand across my cheek. "Now then, do you have something you'd like to ask me?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Note:

mmm....tasty....

[zahmaddog]

Week 6 - Battle Scars

Summer of Bad Batch | Crosshair x Omega x Hunter | Post-Tantiss Rescue on Pabu | SFW/Emotional One Shot | Warnings: PTSD, Nightmares, Flashbacks | 1159 words

Song inspiration - Midnight - Coldplay

“Omega,” Crosshair sits down on her bed. The moonlight poured through the window onto the bedspread she had kicked off. She lay asleep, but caught in a vivid nightmare. 

“No!” She screams in her sleep as her legs kick and her arms flail, “ Hunter!”

Crosshair waits until she stops moving, then brushes her hair off her face and tucks it behind her ear.

“Omega,” he tries again.

She opened her eyes slowly and props herself up on her elbow. 

“Crosshair?” She rubs her eyes.

“I’m here,” Crosshair began, but wasn’t sure what else to say.

“I was having a nightmare again, wasn’t I?” Omega sits up fully and buries her head into her hands.

“Mmhmm,” Crosshair nods. 

“Sometimes I just feel like the Empire is still after me. Or the Kaminoans.” She looks up from her hands and meets Crosshair’s eyes. His expression bore concern and worry for his sister. He looks off to the side and prepares his words.

“You’re safe now,” he states after much thought.

“But why don’t I feel safe?” Omega asks. 

The question catches Crosshair off-guard. He returns to look into Omega’s eyes as she searches for answers in his. 

“You usually have better answers than I do,” Crosshair shrugs, but Omega’s look of desperation endures. Crosshair sighs and begins rubbing his right forearm up to where his hand once was.

“Omega,” he exhales, “I also experience… nightmares,” he says like he didn’t want to admit it.

“You?” Omega was floored that one of her brothers also had fears that crept up at night.

“Mmhmm,” Crosshair grunts. “I’ll wake quickly, but the feelings linger. I remember the pain of torture, the feelings of failure, the fear of losing…” He went silent. Omega reaches out to comfort him. Her hand slides down his arm as she offers reassurance.

“I still fear losing you and the others.” Crosshair looks out the window to partially escape the conversation, “I’ll remember the way my heart sank when I missed shooting the tracker onto that ship that took you away from Pabu. Or turning around and watching the Marauder leave me on the platform on Kamino,” Crosshair continued. “But, I’ll wake up and remember you’re here, safe. Our brothers are here too. The nightmares aren’t real anymore… But the feelings are. It’s like what we experienced was too much to feel in the moment, so we keep feeling it until it fades.”

The Pabu wind enters the room and fills the air with a gentle ocean breeze. Crosshair inhales and sighs, relaxing into the moment a little more.

“These dreams serve as a reminder of how far we’ve come. What we’ve experienced is real, but our lives are different now. You’re safe now, Omega.” Crosshair continues and looks back up to Omega, finding her wiping a tear from her eye. Crosshair felt the inclination to pull her closer, but was hesitant. 

“You have battle scars too, little soldier,” he chuckles to deflect instead.

Omega wipes another tear, “You’re safe now too, Crosshair,” her voice breaks. 

She pulls his arm closer and wraps her arms around it, leaning her head on his shoulder. Crosshair looks surprised, but then pushes himself onto the bed with his back against the wall, accepting her affection. He tucks her hair behind her ear once more with his left hand then rests it on his leg while Omega softly relaxes into his presence. 

Crosshair looks out the window to the stars and gazes upward. He thinks about all the nights he had spent alone in a cell without windows in contrast to all the lively nights aboard the Marauder as a young soldier. He recalls Wrecker’s enormous laugh, Tech’s intellectual jabs, Echo’s swearing, and Hunter’s stubborn attitude. 

He smiles, remembering all of the good times they had. Like a bolt of lightning, the memory of Order 66 crushed the moment and his remembered joys scream to a wild halt: the flashbacks rush in. He remembers lining his scope up to shoot Hunter; shooting Wrecker; demanding the order to burn his brothers in a ship engine; Mayday’s pulse leaving his body; waking up on Tantiss; losing Omega.

Crosshair shakes his head as he feels his memories split his soul. His heart races. He feels the dissociation grip his consciousness and looks back at Omega for protection; her presence grounds him. 

I didn’t lose her, Crosshair thinks to himself as his hand jumps to find Omega’s hand wrapped around his arm. He lets the tension in his shoulders fall and breathes in and out deeply. He sits for a few moments more, letting his breath wash over him and holding Omega’s hand like a lifeline.

Omega’s grip around Crosshair’s arm loosens as she falls into a deeper sleep. She begins to drool on his arm. The unwanted sensation of her spit throws Crosshair back to the present.

He felt a little grossed out, but felt relieved to be pulled back into the moment so violently. 

Crosshair’s lips turn upward into a soft smile as he watches Omega sleep so comfortably next to him. He never would have guessed he could comfort anyone, much less a child. 

This is who I am, he thinks to himself.

Crosshair quietly stands and gently lays her head down onto her pillow. He tucks the blanket around her and closes the curtain to block the coming sun in hopes she could sleep in after a restless night. He slips out of her room and closes the door softly. 

“I thought I felt your eyes,” Crosshair whispers to Hunter once the door is sealed. Hunter leans against the wall just outside of Omega’s room.

“Is she all right?” Hunter inquires.

“She just had a nightmare,” Crosshair relayed. 

“I’m surprised you picked up on that before I did,” Hunter sighed, surprised that his instincts hadn’t brought him out of his deep sleep sooner to comfort Omega.

“I was already awake,” Crosshair shrugs. 

Hunter raised an eyebrow as he knew Crosshair could fall and stay asleep anywhere, even the battlefield. Hunter stayed silent, but continued to stare at Crosshair in disbelief.

“I had a nightmare too,” Crosshair embarrassedly admits. 

Hunter’s face relaxes and he places his hand on Crosshair’s shoulder. Crosshair looks down at Hunter’s hand.

“Well, Omega’s right. You’re safe now too,” Hunter echos. 

“Hmm,” Crosshair grunts a little in slight agreement. Hunter tightens his grip a little on Crosshair’s shoulder to gain his attention back. Crosshair looks up into Hunter’s eyes.

“I’m sorry I left you behind,” Hunter admits.

Crosshair’s eyes widen as he never expected to get an apology from his brother. He quickly darts his gaze away to process.

“Well, I did try to kill you,” Crosshair dryly jokes back.

“But you didn’t when you could have,” Hunter surmised.

“Hmm,” Crosshair grunts again. Hunter takes his hand off Crosshair’s shoulder and folds his arms. 

“Get some sleep, Hunter,” Crosshair begins to walk to his room, but turns halfway around in the hallway, “But, keep one eye open,” Crosshair chuckles.

__________________________________________________________

@summer-of-bad-batch @heidnspeak @cloneflo99 @megmegalodondon @tentakelspektakel