#the way all the pieces just. Clicked together in my brain RIGHT before the dm revealed that my boss who is another PC. is related to my

[chilltouch]

EPIC win for dnd today

[troubatrain]

runaway - n. patrick (part five)

a/n: helllllllo i still cannot believe you guys like this series as much as you do honestly it blows my mind considering this was just one smutty blurb that took a life of it’s own. it’s super cool - thank you so much for reading!! i should have the next part up soon because i’ve already started it so that’s exciting (and it will be a proper celebration of the nolan patrick revenge tour). as per usual we’ve got to thank @hookingminor​ because nothing gets done around here without her letting me dump ideas and stuff in her dms

Part Four - Part Six

also tagging (because they asked): @fratboytj​

Nolan takes a deep breath while he stuffs his hands into his pockets, his long legs carrying him through the city and to a building he was becoming more familiar with everyday. Yours. Initially, Kevin had insisted you moved in with him, and Nolan swore he’d have to move out just to keep his hands to himself. You explained to your brother that you needed space, and the second you reminded him you’d meet every girl he brought home - he was helping you find an apartment instantly.

Nolan hadn’t been by, actively avoiding your parents who’d been helping you move in and trying to distance himself from you the best he could. Travis caught him red handed, his flush cheeks outing him to his teammate almost instantly, and Travis was beside himself.

Dude Kevin’s going to murder you.

One time he told me not to even breath in her direction.

You’ve lost your mind Nolan.

Maybe he was losing it, Nolan thought buzzing up to your building and hoping you’d let him. You were like a drug Nolan couldn’t stop doing. He thought about you constantly, a summer spent Instagram stalking you until he heard you were in Philly. Travis told him to cut you off, ghost you until he simply couldn’t avoid you and by then maybe he’d find the courage to tell you he couldn’t do this anymore. Nolan didn’t know what this even was, if it was a string of hook ups or if he had invested his heart into you. He finally got up to your floor, knocking twice on the door gently. You appear on the other side, wiping a tear that was spilling from your eye in a Red Sox hoodie you stole from one of your brothers, “Nol?”

Nolan could feel the pull in his chest, and he finally took the plunge. He stepped forward, pulling you into his arms. Your hands snuck under his hoodie, grabbing into Nolan’s skin while you sobbed into his chest, “What’s wrong Boston?”

“I miss home,” You cried, the fear you had about leaving your home was real, and it was starting to settle in. Your parents had left a few hours ago, leaving you in your place for the first time alone and it just hit you. You were hours away from home with no family in the city besides Kevin who barely kept himself alive. The anxiety started to settle in, and the tears were flowing before you could stop it. It was all too much, and you hated that you were letting Nolan see you like this, a damn disaster, but he was the most comforting presence you had right now.

“Y/N,” Nolan whispers, running his fingers through your hair. You couldn’t stop, your breathing had become erratic once Nolan pulled you into his arms, “Breathe, baby, you have to. C’mon-”

When you didn’t answer, Nolan stood quietly trying to figure out what to do. He could call Kevin, but then he’d have to explain what he was doing showing up to your place unannounced, and he didn’t even know why he came. He wanted to see you, that was the truth, but admitting that meant defeat. Nolan raked his brain, thinking about the way he felt the first time he’d been that far from home, “You have any weed?”

You smile, a few stray tears still falling while you pick your head up from Nolan’s chest, “That’s what you’re thinking about right now?”

“Yeah,” Nolan nods, his hands on your cheeks and a smirk on his face while he waits for your answer. You nod, pointing to your bedroom door, “I’m going somewhere with this, I promise.”

Nolan grabs your grinder, grabbing a paper and getting to work. You watch his fingers, long calloused fingers rolling up a joint. You sat next to him, crossing your legs while Nolan rolled on your end table you bullied Kevin into putting together just a few hours ago, “You said you had a point here Patty…”

“Well, Boston, when I used to get homesick this is what I’d do,” Nolan admits, his cheeks redder with his words. You furrow your eyebrows, this was the smallest piece of information you’d ever gotten out of Nolan. Nolan knew a lot about you, because Kevin never shut the fuck up, but you knew little to nothing about Nolan Patrick, “Open.”

Nolan’s dick twitched in his pants while you happily obliged to his order, part of hoping it was his dick he was telling you to open for and not the joint in his hand. He places it between your lips, lighting the end for you and letting the smoke fill the room, “Why’d you come here anyways?”

“Wanted to see you,” Nolan hums, watching the smoke slip your lips. Your eyes were puffy and red from a few hours of crying, a hole in the shoulder of the hoodie you were wearing and your hair was a disaster, but Nolan didn’t think you could look any better. You pass him the joint, straddling his lap so you could get as close to him as you could. It was so easy with Nolan, and when you were together it’s like everything seemed to click. You stayed silent for a bit, comfortably nestled in Nolan’s arms while you listened to his heartbeat.

“Heard you’re coming back,” You mutter, unsure of how to approach the conversation at hand. Your hand was toying with Nolan’s sweatshirt strings absentmindedly, and you heard his breath hitch at your question.

“I’m fucking terrified,” Nolan admits, tired of keeping up the tough guy act. You pick your head up, turning it to the side like you were taken back by his words. You thought Nolan was different, your suspicions confirmed by his confession. Kevin had probably been injured more times than you count, but he never once complained about it because that’s hockey. Nolan’s words meant more to you than he probably even knew.

“If you’re not ready you don’t have to go back,” You press a kiss to his jaw, and a small smile lands on Nolan’s face. You didn’t know what to tell him, besides a cheesy go get ‘em that he didn’t need to hear from you, “But I’ll be proud of you regardless.”

Nolan’s hands snuck under your hoodie, his hands a little cold and rougher than you remember from a summer’s worth of lifting, “You will?”

“Always,” You hum, sinking your teeth into Nolan’s neck and giggling when he let out a hiss at the contact.

“Are you seriously turned on right now?” Nolan chuckles, leaning his head while you continue to press kisses against his neck. 

“Emotions are sexy Nolan, you should try having more,” You tease, grinding your hips down against his lap, Nolan’s grip tightened at your words.

“I’ll tell you what’s sexy and it isn’t how I’m feeling,” Nolan smirks, looking at you like you were the most obvious answer in the world. Nolan’s hands wandered down your legs, the shorts you were wearing left little to the imagination, and if you were sobbing when you opened the door Nolan would have made a point about it sooner, “You’re fucking perfect.”

“Stop that,” You tuck your head in Nolan’s neck, hiding your face from him. You could be given a million compliments but you didn’t want them if they were coming from Nolan, his voice sent shivers down your spine - and it was dangerous.

Nolan remained silent, pulling your head up and running his thumbs over your cheeks. His stare was intense, and it was all you needed to know what he was thinking - he wasn’t going to stop saying that to you. You press your lips to his, a groan falling from Nolan’s lips when you took his lip between your teeth, “I missed you…”

Nolan’s confession hung in the air, his lips pressed against your neck and words muttered into your neck. His hand slid under your shorts, sliding them down your bare legs and tossing them to the side. Nolan hooks his arms under your legs, pulling you up to his face and laying back down.

Gonna make you feel so good baby.

I want you to ride my face princess.

Be a good girl.

Nolan pressed a few open mouthed kisses to your thighs, your legs practically shaking with anticipation of what was to come. You look down at Nolan underneath you, his tongue flat against your pussy and you could have sworn this was heaven. You grind down your hips, Nolan nodding and guiding your body against his body, “Fuck Nolan.”

“Faster baby, c’mon,” Nolan eggs you on, and you move your hips quickly, pressure building up inside you. Nolan’s tongue swirled your clit, sending you over the edge, “Cum on my face princess.”

Nolan’s hands dug into your thighs, holding you over him without sparing you a second to catch your breath. He was addicted to you, and he wanted you to know just how much he-

Loves?

Likes?

Cares?

Nolan cared, he definitely cared about you more than you probably thought about him. Honestly, Nolan didn’t care if Kevin punched him square in the face as long as he could still see you afterwards. His tongue teased your entrance, a whine escaping your lips from the contact, “Nolan I’m, fuck-”

When your second orgasm washed over you, your legs shaking from pleasure while Nolan held you up above him. His mouth finally unlatched from your pussy, and you thought that was going to be it. Nolan, however, had other plans for you. You landed on your back, two fingers in your pussy while Nolan’s thumbs rubbed circles into your clit. Nolan pressed his forehead against yours, his eyes were looking into yours, “Want to see you cum this time pretty girl.”

You nod, your thighs closing while Nolan continues to pry them back open. Your eyes were fluttering shut, practically rolling to the back of your head when Nolan’s long fingers curled inside of you. His other hand grabs your chin, “Nolan I can’t-”

“Open your eyes for me baby,” Nolan coaxes you through your orgasm, one eye popping open to look at him while your hips lifted off the mattress. He finally pulls out his fingers, licking them clean. Nolan pushes a piece of your hair from your face, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “Feeling any better?”

“Definitely not doing worse,” You mumble, nuzzling your face against Nolan’s hand, wondering how someone could be like that in bed and so gentle when all was said and done, “Stay?”

Nolan didn’t sleep a bit that night, holding you while you snored softly on his chest and lying awake in your bed. He didn’t know what the fuck he was going to do about this, but he knew one thing.

Things were never going back to normal.

[ererokii]

Repudium || Shouto Todoroki & Katsuki Bakugou

Pro Hero Shouto Todoroki x Fem! Reader x Pro Hero Katuski Bakugou

Repudium means rejection in Latin.

Warnings: angst, cursing, Todoroki is a douchebag once again, mwah katsuki is a king

Word Count: 10,734

Synopsis: Shouto leaves your heart in pieces and expects you to come back to him, but doesn’t realize someone is mending it back together. 

Taglist (message to be added): @shoutodoki @shoutosteakettle @miinaashido @saltie @fryingpanitachi @kingtamakimurder @sugacookiies @pixxiesdust @sacro---sainte

➺: Note: This is for @bnhabookclub​‘s bingo event! The prompt is Pain Comfort. You asked, so now you shall receive, this is part two of Once More. I suggest you read that first before reading this. Thank you Zeze, Mar, and Gabs for betaing <3

Bingo Masterlist

“I thought you were changing. You don’t care about anyone. You rather see those around you to die than save them. How can you call yourself a hero if you can’t even feel for the public? You are the worst hero ever.” 

Those words replayed like a song worth listening, over and over again. Your mouth that could sing dozens of symphonies sang a song that could curse a man for the rest of his life. Words of hatred and malice drowned Shouto to the pits of the earth, each syllable leaving your mouth another pierce to his heart. The twinkle in your eyes that could outshine any of the stars in the night sky were dimmed to the lowest as a waterfall of tears cascaded down your face. 

The look on your face could have brought anyone to their knees to beg for forgiveness, stuttering nonsense that was coherent only in their head. He could see it in your expressions. The way your bottom lip quivered as you listened to the poison of his words. Your smaller hands clenched and unclenched by your sides, your body shaking with each blow. Your head shook with nothing but denial as you tried to shrug his words off. You couldn’t. 

The grip you held his shirt with was full of pure disappointment, hurt, and dishonesty. He heard nothing in the moment, his cerulean and grey irises staring at the movement of your mouth, watching it open and close with each sentence you spoke. Your lips were curved down as you continued to yell at him. He suddenly felt light in your grasp. You had every right to tell him how you felt. He deserved your words. 

He felt even lower than dirt. The steel door blocking him from your life grew thicker and thicker, leaving him vulnerable and isolated. He used to be untouchable. He would stand on his throne, watching as everyone slowly sank lower and lower. A surge of pride and power would fill his body as he watched those struggle to get to his point in life. Until you came, and sent one kick to his throne, making him fall right through as he desperately tried to sit on top once again. 

You were a tide that kept washing him away. You caught him by surprise. Your twisted ways made him open up in ways he didn’t realize until it was too late. 

The moon illuminated a path of soft light through the curtains in the pitch-black room. The modernized clock resting on Shouto’s bedside table read 5:37 AM. His orbs trained on the time, watching every second change with him. The red digitized numbers are slow to switch.

“Get the fuck away from me.”

His long fingers ran through his hair slowly, lowering his head to look down in his lap as his fingers scratched the back of his head, nails adding a slight sting. A small sigh of distress left him as he stretched his arms above his head, feeling the joints of his elbows crack with the movement. 

It’s only been three weeks since his pride took over his brain. Whenever he tried to close his eyes, all he could see was you. 

Every day, he would be bombarded with news headlines about how amazing and heroic he was the night before. It was almost as if it was mocking him, reminding him of how much of a horrible person he was. Yet, he couldn’t wipe away that smirk that made its way onto his face when he noticed more people speaking about him. 

Big news broadcasting stations constantly asked for him to make an appearance on their shows, to which he happily obliged. Nothing made him more satisfied than being on the big screen for everyone to see. The shining star of the show making an entry. It pleased him. 

He mindlessly scrolled through his twitter, noticing some merchandise links and useless tweets from his PR Team. Dozens of notifications flooded his timeline, fans pinging him for meetups, random DMs from his followers or getting nasty tweets—which he didn’t appreciate, but it was the internet, after all. 

A red dot caught his attention from his DMs. Curiosity got the best of him as he clicked it, noticing none other than Ground Zero’s profile at the top. 

Bakugou: So are we on for that stupid patrol or what? You never responded back asshole. 

Oh, that. 

Shouto groaned softly, completely forgetting that he had a patrol with Bakugou later today. He clicked the message, fingers immediately typing a response out. 

Shouto: Yeah sure. Just meet at my agency at 2 PM.

Bakugou: Don’t tell me what to do bastard. 

“Well that settles that,” he muttered, tossing his phone somewhere on his bed, not really caring where it landed. His back collided with the silk sheets, his body relaxing upon contact. His hand reached out to the spot beside him, slowly running his hand up and down on the empty space as if he was looking for something, or maybe someone. 

His fingers curled around the material of his sheets, an iron grip at hand. He glanced over, expecting to be met with a pair of eyes or a back turned to him. Instead, he found nothing but the soft light produced by the moon. It peeked through his curtains, a small patch of light resting beside his relaxed body as if it was mocking him for his actions. His eyes gazed on the spot, noticing it was the area where you once laid. He growled quietly, grabbing one of his pillows, chucking it towards the curtains in anger. 

Shouto watched the pillow collide and fall on the floor. His lips parted slightly as small puffs of air left his mouth. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” he muttered, running his hands over his face as he kept repeating the word. His hands hit his thighs with a slap, his nails digging into the skin and leaving crescent shape indents. “What the fuck am I even doing?” he questioned aloud. 

“Here I am, in the middle of the night, letting my emotions get the best of me. What kind of crap is that?” He got off his bed, walking over to his dresser. He opened the top two drawers and pulled extra clothes out, deciding that a shower was the best course of action. 

When he got in the shower, he closed his eyes as the beads of warm water hit his face and streamed down his body to the drain. His tufts of hair were plastered onto his face like glue. The water jet seemed to be on its best setting for his needs as he stood there, collecting his thoughts. 

He placed his hands against the tiled walls of the shower, back muscles flexing as he lowered his head to look downward at the shower drain, watching the water gather around and go down the hole. His long hair at the top covered his eyes, the water trailing down his nose as the droplets hit the bottom of the tub. 

“Fuck. What the hell is wrong with me?” he groaned, standing up straight as he slicked his hair back. 

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

You hated it. You hated how weak you became in an instant. In a snap, everything went downhill. You weren’t able to smile as bright as you did before. You hated how he was able to get under your skin and become the only thing you could think about. He was a parasite to you. You despised him, yet he somehow came back to annoy the hell out of you. 

“Oh? Is it not? How much longer are you going to deny it? When are you going to learn Y/N? I’m Shouto! One or if not the greatest hero out there! I always get what I want. You were nothing but a stepping stool.”

Your eyes widened as you misplaced your foot, tripping over the ledge of your car. You quickly grabbed a hold of the handle, keeping yourself upright. You felt your cheeks swell in embarrassment as you quickly regained your composure, clearing your throat. Shutting the car door shut, you looked up to the powerful building that was the viewpoint in all of Japan. 

Shouto’s Agency. 

Just the mere thought of seeing him made you grit your teeth in anger. Your blood boiled at the fact that you had to step a single foot into that forsaken place, and even had to share the same air as him. 

The soles of your shoes hit against the cement as you walked around your car, opening the other side to stare at the brown box full of objects that had no use to you. This box was filled with Shouto’s things that he left at your place and the daycare. You didn’t feel like burning them, so giving them back would suffice. Holding the object in your arms weighed more than it had to. 

You bumped your hip against the door to shut it, and felt no use in locking it. A small sigh left your lips as you walked to the entryway. Each step felt heavy, like the earth could swallow you whole. Your pulse was beating like crazy, at any moment you wouldn’t be surprised if your heart jumped out from your mouth. 

You stopped your movements in front of the doors, watching them slide open before continuing inside. Upon entering, you were hit with the smell of new furniture—which was just the recently cleaned objects and cold air from the ceiling fans. The room was dimly lit, relying on the light from the outside. The main foyer had couches and small tables laid out, covering the area. Men and women filled the furniture, reading a book, or talking amongst themselves. 

You noticed that some of the workers were actually some of Shouto’s sidekicks or new interns he once told you about. Even just looking at them made you sick to your stomach.

Clearing your throat, you walked over to the main desk and dropped the box on the counter, watching the employee jump in surprise.

“Uh- Hi yeah, I’m here to drop off some things for Todoroki.”

“For Shouto?” the lady asked and looked up at you. “Hey aren’t you that girl he-”

“Yeah that’s me,” you interrupted her. “I just wanted to give his things back.”

She fixed her glasses and nodded, chewing on her gum as she typed something on her computer. “Alright, I’ll let Todoroki know.”

“Let me know what?”

You froze at the voice, your body stiffening up. Your blood ran cold as you heard footsteps get closer to you from behind until the presence of a body was close. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up as a deep laugh filled your eyes. 

“I didn’t expect to see you so soon. Miss me already?”

You growled quietly as you took a step to the side, refusing to face him. Don’t give him the pleasure of seeing you. He doesn’t deserve another glance. He doesn’t deserve anything from you. 

“I know you can hear me sweetheart. Come on, let’s talk.” His voice sent chills through your body. His hand rested on your shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

You swiveled around, raising your hand as your palm collided with his cheek. Your vision was blurry as you let out a choked sob, your hand still raised in the air. Your heart was beating out of your chest. The sound caught everyone's attention as they all stared at the commotion. Shouto moved his jaw slightly and rubbed his cheek, wincing slightly. There was now a red imprint on the swollen skin. “Damn, you really know how to slap someone huh?”

“I thought I made my point clear,” you sneered, lowering your hand to rest by your side. “I said I never wanted to talk to you again. I don’t want to see your face again.”

“Well, you came by didn’t you? Must have needed something from me if you decided to show up.”

“I came,” you started, ignoring the lingering stares from the bystanders, “To drop off your things. I could have burned them, but instead I decided to bring them back to you. Trash belongs with other types of trash, doesn’t it?”

The man in front of you laughed softly, shaking his head. Why was he laughing in a moment like this?

“Feisty, huh? Guess that was one of the things I love about you.”

Shouto had the audacity to say that he loved you? Even after all the shit he pulled?

“Oh no you don’t. Don’t you dare fucking say that word.” You wiped your nose with the sleeve of your jacket. “You don’t fucking love anything. No one but yourself. You’re a selfish bastard, how many times do I have to tell you? You are the worst in all of Japan.”

Even hearing those words for the second time in his life, he couldn’t shake the feeling off. Was he hurting? Was he turning upset? 

Deciding enough was enough, you nodded in self-reassurance and turned around, only to collide face-first into a muscular chest. “Hey!”

“Hey? That’s what you say when you bump into someone? Some manners you got.”

You automatically recognized the voice and pulled away as if he had the plague.

Standing in the flesh, Ground Zero stared down at you with his intense vermillion eyes, his arms crossed over his torso, wearing that famous scowl of his. 

“Some manners I got?” you growled and looked up at him. “Why do I have to move for you? You saw me here, didn’t you? Oh just because you’re in the top five, that gives you authority to act like that?”

His eyes widened slightly in shock. “Hey that’s not-”

“You know what? If all heroes are like him,” you yelled, pointing a finger at the bi-colored male behind you. “Then you guys need to stop being heroes! There’s no point in being out there if you don’t care for those in need! What kind of fakes are you guys?!”

Not giving him a chance to respond, you brushed past him, purposely bumping his shoulder with yours. He stumbled slightly, placing his hand on the counter to regain his balance. “What the fuck was that?” he whispered, watching you exit the main foyer.

Shouto sighed dramatically and shook his head, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “She’s always been like that.”

“Who the fuck is that?”

Shouto quirked an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his torso. “Why do you ask, Ground Zero?”

“I asked because she’s hot. I asked because I’m fucking curious, you bastard!”

The bi-colored male tilted his head slightly in confusion before shrugging, running his fingers through his hair. “That’s Y/L/N Y/N. She works at the local daycare about 20 minutes from here.”

“And how do you know her? What the hell was this shit show that just happened.”

“Oh, that? Don’t worry about it too much. She’ll come back soon.” 

A laugh rumbled in the depths of Shouto’s throat as his finger traced the sensitive skin of his cheek. Bakugou stared at him, unamused. 

“She rocked your shit and you’re saying don’t worry about it? What kind of bullshit answer is that?”

“Sounds to me like someone is scared to be seen with the number one pro hero, but that would be silly huh?” Shouto asked, completely dodging Bakugou’s questions as he checked his hand, front and back.

“Hah?! What did you say?! I’m not afraid of anything! Especially you!! Now quit talking and start fucking moving!” Bakugou shoved a gloved finger in Shouto’s direction before swiveling around. The ash-blond’s footsteps boomed with each step he took. He clenched and unclenched his fingers, his gauntlet hitting his hips as he walked. 

“What kind of bullshit answer is that?” he grumbled, tapping his foot against the cement sidewalk as he waited for the number one hero to come outside. For someone who wanted to patrol, he was sure taking his sweet time. 

“Shall we?” Shouto called from behind, walking past him. His chest was puffed out, his chin raised proudly in the air. A sly smirk was displayed on his face as he glanced at Bakugou from the corner of his eye. “Better get a move on. I would hate for you to fall behind.”

Bakugou gritted his teeth as he followed Shouto from behind. Many people on the streets gasped in astonishment at two of the top five heroes walking together. Children pointed at them from across the street, a toothy grin and shining sparkling eyes trained on them. 

“Look, papa! It’s Ground Zero and Shouto! I want their autograph!”

Shouto’s head perked up at the sound of his name and looked over to the small boy, who was bouncing up and down. Amused by his antics, Shouto walked over to the boy and crouched down to his height. 

A small smile was plastered onto his features as he patted him gently on top of the little boy’s head. “You wanted an autograph?”

The boy’s eyes widened as he nodded furiously, clenching his fists in front of his body. “Y-Yeah! Can you sign my backpack?!”

“Turn around, bud.”

He did as told, almost too fast as he stumbled over his own two feet. The pro hero took the sharpie from his smaller hands. Taking the cap off with his teeth, he kept it enclosed between the pearly whites as he quickly signed the backpack. 

“There. Now it looks even more amazing.”

“T-Thank you, Shouto! G-Ground Zero, can you sign mine?!” he gasped and approached rather quickly, holding the sharpie in his head. 

Bakugou wasn’t one for signings out of the blue, but this was an exception. 

The blonde nodded and took the marker away from him, turning the boy around as he signed near Shouto’s signature, making it a tad bit bigger on purpose. 

“Thank you!” he exclaimed and ran back to his dad, who wasn’t that far away. Both heroes could hear the excitement in his tone as he shoved the backpack into his father’s arms. 

“I thought you never do signings like this. Has the Ground Zero gotten soft?”

Bakugou clicked his tongue in annoyance, refusing to be part of Shouto’s games. “Whatever, idiot. Just keep on walking.”

“Oh, is someone upset?”

“Shut up and stop talking!!”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

The patrol was nothing out of the ordinary. The two heroes made their roundabouts, no trouble seemed to bother them. The only thing that annoyed Bakugou more than anything was the fact that Shouto couldn’t keep his mouth shut. And paperwork was the worst of all. Shouto kept asking small insignificant questions that drove Katsuki up the wall. 

Finally getting away from the devil himself, Katuski found himself standing in front of his car, his eyes hard and intense as he had his toned arms crossed over his torso. His eyes trained over a building, taking in the colorful delicate patterns of butterflies and kids smiling on the walls. The paint wasn’t chipping off. Instead it looked like it was fresh, maybe too fresh. The newly trimmed hedges that outline the building bloomed with budding roses. The flowers in the white pots loomed over the ground, each dancing tauntingly with the wind that sent small shivers through his hoodie and caused his hair to sway with each breeze. 

Katuski analyzed the area once more before placing his hands behind him on the hood of the car and pushed off, walking towards the door. 

Unlike Shouto Todoroki, Katsuki Bakugou arrived with a calm and open mind. Upon reaching the door, he noticed a hanging pot filled with yellow carnations. The bright color of the petals fluttered as if they were welcoming him. He stared, mesmerized by the color before shaking his head quickly, bringing his hand up to the door. His knuckles met with the door once, twice, and finally a third time before lowering it again. 

Shuffling could be heard from the other side of the door as the knob turned, the wooden surface opening up. 

Katsuki took sight of you, eyeing you up and down before meeting your eyes.

“G-Ground Zero?! W-What are you doing here?! This is so unexpected wow! I’m such a mess, god I’m so sorry! If only I knew you would come I would have at least cleaned myself up!”

“Can you stop rambling and actually let me talk?”

You stopped mid-sentence and shut your mouth, before opening it again. “Yeah uh… why are you here?”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“T-To me?” You looked over your shoulder to make sure no one was behind you. No one was; you just couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“Well yeah, who else am I gonna be talking to?”

“I- just you know after I went off on you there… I just didn’t expect you to ya know, come visit. Just caught me by surprise.”

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk about.”

“Oh. Well, we can talk then.”

“Out here? Please,” he scoffed and made his way inside, causing you to press up against the door as he walked past you. In those three seconds, you could smell his natural scent of ash and caramel with a hint of smoky wood. It pleased you. 

You automatically shut the door and followed him. He was sitting down on the couch with his hands behind his head, but with his legs bent, no manspreading. His attitude was drastically different from Shouto’s.

“Well,” you started, sitting across from him as you rubbed your sweaty palms on your thighs. “What did you want to talk about?”

“What happened between you guys.”

“Between who?”

“You and Icy-Hot. I saw you hit him and tried prying answers out of him. Better to get it from the other side than from someone whose head is up their fucking ass.”

“Oh,” you whispered and sunk your teeth on your lower lip, looking away. “That’s personal. Whatever happened between me and him, will stay between me and him. Besides, it wasn’t a big deal anyway.”

“Big deal?! You smack his face and say it’s not a big deal? Damn, what kind of shit answers are those?”

“Realistic answers!” you choked out, feeling your voice crack mid speaking. “They are realistic answers.”

“Real huh?” he whispered before leaning forward, clasping his hands in his lap. “Fine. Let’s be real, okay? You guys slept together huh? And he decided he didn’t want you anymore. Is that what happened? That’s the type of guy he is after all.”

Hearing his words made you realize how shitty you’ve been feeling. He was only in your presence for five minutes or less and he already cracked your mid-life crisis. The quiver in your lip was his answer. 

“So that’s what happened then,” he whispered.

“And what if it did?! It doesn’t matter, like I said! I was his stepping stool! He didn’t care! I was his doormat and I let him walk over me because I was too gullible to notice before! He’s a fucking heartless asshole!” you cried out, hiccuping as you covered your face from him, shielding the somewhat dignity you had left. Your nose was getting stuffed up by the second as you sniffled, letting out another pained sob, the first of many that day. Each day would end like this, you going into a state of confusion and would cry yourself to sleep. It was a continuous cycle of pain that you wanted to end. 

“Everyone thinks of him as this high and mighty person that cares for others, but he doesn’t!” You looked into the hero’s eyes, your own filled with nothing but defeat and pain, the whites of your eyes now turning red from the onslaught of crying. “I hate him! I fucking hate him!” each word had a powerful meaning behind it. “He ruined me! He had me wrapped around his finger and played me like a fiddle!”

Bakugou felt bad for you. You went from someone who told him off hours earlier, to sobbing up a storm and ranting about your feelings. He felt awkward sitting there as you poured out to your heart’s content. His body was tense as he fiddled with the pocket of his black hoodie. Seeing you there hopeless made his heart sting with pain, and he felt like he had to save you, even though he didn’t know you.

To be your hero. The hero you deserve, not Shouto Todoroki. 

He contemplated something before standing up and walked over to you. The couch creaked at the new addition of weight that was put on top. “Look,” he started as his mind went blank. What was he going to say? Hey, it's okay, forget him. He's legit shit anyway. How do you comfort someone when their relationship was a total lie?

Your sobs filled his ears as he sighed softly, rubbing his temple in growing annoyance. “First of all stop crying already!”

The sudden change of tone surprised you as you stared at him with innocent wide eyes. “W-What?”

“I said stop fucking crying. It doesn’t look good on you.”

You let out a hiccup as you wiped your eyes with the pad of your fingers. For some reason, Katsuki thought you looked like the most beautiful person on the planet. Here you were, in raw emotion for some idiot who wasn’t worth your time, yet at the same time you decided to show Katsuki and no one else. It filled him with a sense of peace that you trusted him enough, despite barely knowing him. 

The ceiling fan shined artificial light upon you, somehow making you look ethereal as your tears glistened. Your lips formed in a pout as your bottom lip kept quivering, no matter how many times you tried to control it. The tips of your ears were red, your cheeks joining in on the rosy color. Your makeup was nowhere perfect anymore. Mascara dribbled down your face as it mixed with your tears, black staining your cheeks. 

“Are you done crying yet?”

There was a moment of silence before another whimper left your throat as you shook your head. “N-No!”

Yet again another round of painful sobs wracked through your body. Your head was starting to hurt at the attack to your body. Bakugou inhaled deeply as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to his chest. He could feel your shaking form as you threw your arms around him, burying your head into the crook of his neck. 

“H-He-”

“Shut up,” he grumbled, his voice rough around the edges, but wasn’t his normal tone. His calloused hand pressed against your back, his fingers slowly running up and down as his thumbs rubbed small circles to calm you down. “He’s a shit person. I get it. But you aren’t going to sit here and cry about him forever, are you?”

The silence was a sign to continue on. 

“He played you. He’s an asshole, but I didn’t know he was this big of a dick. Everyone plays him as Mr. Nice Guy or Mr. Hero. I didn’t know he was this bad,” he muttered, bringing a hand to cradle the back of your head, stroking the skin behind your neck in a soothing manner. “Honestly, fuck him. He doesn’t deserve your time and certainly doesn’t deserve your stupid fucking tears. He still thinks you’re going to go back to him. Why don’t you show him who the bigger person is, hah?”

“He thinks I’m going back to him?” you whispered, your words coming out muffled due to hiding your head from him.

“Yeah. He does. His head is so clouded with stupidity that he thinks he’ll always get what he wants.”

“...he is pretty stupid.”

The rumbling in his chest indicated he found it funny, but true. He pushed you away from his chest, placed his hands on your shoulders, and stared into your tear-filled eyes. “So. What are you going to then, Princess?”

You licked your lips and looked down at your lap, staring at the palms of your hands. “I’m going to... Stop crying over him, m-move on and be the bigger person?”

“Are you asking me? Or are you telling me?”

“I-I’m telling you!”

His lips curved upward slightly as he wrapped his arm around you, bringing you to his chest once more. “Guys like him expect everyone to spoon feed him because of his reputation. And everyone says I’m the worst out of the top five,” he grumbled to himself, running his hand up and down your back. “I’ll take care of you. I promise you that.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

A man of his word, Bakugou did as he promised. Since that day he visited you the first time, you stayed in contact. You were wary of course, looking for any red flags that history could possibly repeat itself. 

Unlike Shouto, Katsuki couldn’t come around as much. As he told you before, his hero work was the most important since where his agency was stationed, there was a lot of crime. You respected that, of course. It made you feel happy when he would talk to you on the phone about the amount of citizens he saved and how many villains he took down by himself. The kids, they went wild.

When one of the girls took notice of a gauntlet laying around the room, she screamed in happiness saying that Ground Zero was here, or that you bought a knock-off from online. Of course from the screaming, the pro hero ran inside at top speed, looking for any sign of danger.

“Where is it?!”

“It’s Ground Zero!!”

A flock of children surrounded him as they screamed incoherent words of happiness, jumping up and down as if he was their idol; which he was. 

“How hot can your explosions get?!”

“Do you burn yourself?!”

“Can you fly?!”

“Do you sneeze and they go off?!”

“Hah?!” he yelled and crossed his arms over his torso, looking away. “What kind of fucking questions are those?!”

“Bakugou!” you snapped, walking into view with a bag of something inside. “We talked about using that language in here!”

“What does ‘fucking’ mean?” a little girl asked, tugging on the material of his pants, looking up at him with child innocent eyes. 

His mouth parted but no answer came out. His cream-colored cheeks soon became a soft rosy red as he looked away quickly. “I-”

“I bought mochi!” you said quickly, lifting the bag up and shaking it slightly to grab their attention. At the mention of treats, they all scrambled away from him and stood in front of you with happy grins and eyes. 

“Get in a line. Bakugou, come help me please.”

The ash-blond groaned but walked to you anyway, taking the small bowl from you that held the dough filled with sweet ice cream. He eyes them warily before crouching down to their level and stuck the bowl out for their awaiting grabbing hands. 

“Only one,” he said to a little boy who laughed joyously and placed it back before running to his friend, comparing the flavors they had. 

“And one for me,” you teased, taking one from him. Bakugou clicked his tongue in annoyance and placed the bowl back on the small table. “I don’t know how you can eat those. They seem too sweet. Spicy is where it’s at.”

“Well I’m not going to burn a bunch of six-year-olds’ tongues either, Bakugou!” you huffed and took a bite out of the dough, the taste of the sweet ice cream filled your tastebuds. “Come on try some!” you lifted the sweet to his mouth, urging him to bite it. 

“Hah?! That’s bad for you!”

“Come on, Katsuki. Are you afraid of a little sweet? Never took you for the scared type.” You grinned. His heart fluttered at the sound of his name leaving your lips. He growled and snatched the green treat from you.

“‘M’not scared!” he yelled and eyed the delicious treat before taking a bite out of it. His eyes widened slightly from their original state and chewed slowly. He looked away from you and swallowed. “Not bad, still tastes like shit.”

A happy smile graced your features at his change of heart over something as small as this. “So will you eat the rest of it with me?”

“I guess. Only if you wipe that stupid dopey smile off your face.”

A cry of pain distracted you from your reverie as you turned quickly to find the source of pain. 

A group of kids was surrounding one young girl who had a hand covering her eye. 

“Himarie, sweetie what happened?” You asked the small girl, kneeling beside her as your hand hesitantly reached for hers that shielded her eye. 

“Fire!”

“Fire? Honey let me see.”

“I’ll hurt you!”

“No you won’t. Come on, let me see.” you encouraged her softly, wrapping your hand around her smaller wrist and lowered it slowly. 

Fire shot out from her eye as soon as her hand was lowered. She cried in pain and covered it again, whimpering softly. 

The rug caught on fire as you shrieked, moving the kids out of the way. “K-Katsuki!”

“Got it,” the male voiced out, immediately putting out the fire with the fire extinguisher, his tongue peeking out in concentration. He let out a huff and lowered the hose. “Looks like someone got their quirk. That’s a nice one if I do say so myself.” He put the red canister down and walked over to where you and Himarie stood. 

“Is she going to be okay Miss Y/N?!” 

“Yes, she’s going to be okay. She’s a strong girl, aren’t you honey?” you whispered softly and stroked her brown hair. 

“Let me see,” Bakugou whispered, nudging you away from her gently. “Look at me.”

She shook her head, afraid of hurting him as well. “I’ll burn you!”

“I burn myself on a daily basis, Himarie. I’m used to it. Now let me see.”

The brunette shakily lowered her head, her bottom lip quivering in fear. 

Bakugou analyzed her before bringing a hand to her face, rubbing her cheek softly with his thumb. “You’re scared huh? I remember when I first got my quirk. I was scared. I thought I would blow myself up at one point. But there’s nothing to be afraid of. You’ll learn how to control it soon,” he said to her, his voice soft yet rough at the same time. Each word seemed to roll off his tongue with ease, as if he was made for moments like this. His larger hand patted her head gently.

Himarie continued to stare at him with uncertainty before launching herself onto him, her small arms encircling his neck. “T-Thank you Ground Zero!”

He tensed up before hesitantly wrapping an arm around her, patting her back with a gentle touch. “Of course. That’s what we’re here for anyway, to make sure kids like you are out of harm’s way. Just don’t do anything stupid with that, got it?”

You watched a few steps away, your heart softening at the moment in front of you. In all of his fame, his unruly behavior was something that everyone saw. This moment was intoxicating to you. You wanted to see more of him like this. If only the public knew this was how Bakugou Katsuki was, everyone would be throwing themselves at him. The only difference between him and Shouto, was that Bakugou cares. He did it to save those in need, to be a protector, not for the fame and the money. 

His vermillion orbs met yours as the corner of his lips curled into a smirk, sending a small wink your way. A wave of heat flooded your cheeks as you gave him a small wave in return. The light’s reflection illuminated his eyes, the different colors of his irises shining. It was amazing to see him here. You only wished for one thing: that he was here before Shouto Todoroki. 

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

As time went by, the hot atmosphere turned chilly, and the trees turned to orange and red. Fall approached faster than anything. Months upon months passed by without a second thought. 

The cold air of the autumn wind descends upon you, each needle of the breeze poking through any open outlet through your clothes. You buried your nose in your burgundy scarf, begging for any type of warmth to relieve your shaking body. The vibrant assortments of oranges and red were pleasing to the eye, but getting harder to appreciate as each second passed by. 

Your hands were stuffed in the pocket of your jackets as you kept your head down to shield your eyes from any upcoming harsh wind. The annual fall festival arrived and that was something you wanted to see, with a special someone of course.

“Are you that fucking cold?”

You peered up through your lashes, glancing at the blond who walked beside you with ease. He seemed to be content with just his jacket and scarf. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, his fingers curling and uncurling from the inside.

“Y-y-yes I’m cold!” you spoke through your chattering teeth, bringing your hands up and placing them underneath your armpits, relishing in the warmth from your jacket. Your eyes trained over the different stands full of crafts, food, and beverages. 

“That’s too bad.” you could hear the smugness in his tone as you continued to walk the brick pathway through the festival. “Your teeth look like they could fall out any minute now due to your stupid chattering.”

“Well not everyone is a walking heater, Katsuki,” you chirped, your voice muffled by the fabric of your scarf warming your neck. “If I was, I’d be looking like you.”

“Like me?! What’s that supposed to mean, hah?!”

“Meaning I could wear a jacket and a skirt and not worry about the cold! I said what I said!”

Bakugou growled and tugged you closer by your elbow, no ill intent in his hold. His hand reached under your elbow, his fingers digging into your skin. It was a simple yet meaningful gesture. 

A small smile graces your features as your eyes watch the leaves fall from their respected trees, trails of orange and red filling your vision. The sky was a pink layout with splotches of blue and orange that complimented each other. The clouds floating through the sky effortlessly, the sun saying its slow goodbye before sleeping for the night until the next morning.

“I wish they had more festivals like this.”

“Well if they did, stupid villains would be surrounding this shit place anyway.”

You rolled your eyes in annoyance, leaning your head on his bicep as your fingers curled around his arm. “Uh-huh, sure. Way to be optimistic about it.”

“Just being realistic. Something you should be.”

“Hey!” you pouted, feigning hurt. “I can be realistic!”

Bakugou gave you a side glance before shaking his head. “Don’t fool both of us dumbass.”

You whined and stood on your tiptoes, placing a quick kiss to his cold cheek. “The only one I can fool is you after all.”

A pleased hum left his throat as he laced your fingers together, the warmth radiating from his palm automatically making you fuzzy inside. 

Ever since Shouto left, you felt confused, lost and most importantly, empty. The void in your heart felt that it would never be filled again. Shouto left and took your happiness with him, deciding to leave you a wreck for this own personal pleasure. He was everywhere you looked, paper news, broadcasting, twitter. It was like you couldn’t escape him. Each time you saw a photo of him, he always had the same expression. A smug smirk would grace his features, it was taunting you and you knew it. 

When Bakugou entered your life, it made you realize that you didn’t have to worry about someone like Shouto ruining you again. Bakugou slowly filled the void in your heart, and you were beyond thankful. At first, you didn’t trust him at all. He was in fact in the top five heroes, and was known as the mean one in the public eye. You couldn’t tell if his actions were genuine or just for show to lure you in like a predator. 

“Hey.”

“Huh?” You shook your head, kicking you out of your daze as you looked up at the male. 

“Y-yeah?”

“Why do you look like that?” he asked, but more in a demanding tone.

“This is my face?”

“No, you idiot. You look lost. What’s wrong?”

“Just thinking about before is all, ya know, Shouto,” you muttered the last part, your head lowering in shame.

“Well stop thinking of that icy-hot bastard. I hate the way you get over some stupid guy like him,” he growled, his finger curling under your chin to make you look up at him. “Cause Princess, he’s an idiot for letting someone as beautiful as you go.”

He leaned closer, pressing his lips against yours tenderly. Your hand reached up and cradled his cheek, rubbing the swell with your thumb gently. His arm wrapped around your waist tightens, bringing you closer to his chest. In your moment of love, unbeknownst to you, the sound of a camera went off. 

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. His grey and cerulean orbs filled with anger, staring down at the photo that was displayed on his phone, a new headline for the news. 

Ground Zero getting comfy at the Autumn Festival!

Shouto’s fingers curled around his phone, his hand unintentionally getting colder by the minute. He was seething in anger. His shoulders moved with his erratic breathing as he threw his phone across his desk, ignoring the noise of his device hitting the ground. 

A small flame emitted from his hand. He abruptly stood up, gripping the edge of his desk with a vice-like grip, his fingers slowly turning white from the pressure. His fingernails dug into the hardwood, ignoring the pain shooting through his arms. He sunk his teeth into his lower lip as his hands let go of the edges before reaching under and threw his arms up, flipping the wooden desk over in anger. 

The furniture broke on impact as he groaned out in annoyance. Not only were things not going his way, but he also needed to buy a new desk.  

“Just who in the hell does he think he is?” he whispered angrily, running his hand through his hair as he paced back and forth in his office, his footsteps hard against the rug. “Just walking in her life and thinking he can do that? He’s far from right.”

Shouto was no idiot. He was intelligent and knew what happened on the sidelines. Bakugou stayed with you to help out with the daycare. He did the same exact thing as Shouto did, and oh did it piss him off more than anything. In Shouto’s eyes, you were going to come back to him. You might just be acting up, but you’ll return to him.

He quickly glanced at the clock on the wall. It read 4:46 PM. From what he remembered, the daycare should be closing at 5 PM. If he left now, he could probably stop you before you headed home. 

The chiming of his phone knocked him from his cloud of thoughts as he walked over to the shattered screen, the light illuminating on his face.

Midoriya 

“Fuck,” he groaned and reached above his head, his joints cracking with the movement. His finger tapped the green circle as he brought his phone to his ear, sighing softly. “Hello?”

“Hi Todoroki! I just wanted to make sure you knew about tomorrow still!”

“...what’s tomorrow?”

“You forgot already? Figures if you’re so busy! It’s the meet and greet we have with Kacchan tomorrow!”

He choked on his spit as he coughed into his hand in shock. “T-that’s tomorrow?!”

“Yeah! Your PR team didn’t tell you?”

“Uh...” he trailed off, glancing at the mess of his room. Pens and papers were scattered all over the place. “I’m sure they did. Whatever, what time was it at?”

“11 AM!”

“Do I have to go?”

“Of course you have to Todoroki-kun! You’re number one! And number one has to be there, remember?!”

Number one. 

Hearing those words made butterflies flutter in his stomach as his head filled with conceited thoughts. He smirked faintly as he hung his head back, staring at the ceiling. “Yeah. You’re right. I am number one, and I always get what I want.”

“What was that? You cut out at the end.”

“Huh? Nothing, don’t worry about it. I’ll see you in the morning with...him.”

“Oh speaking about Kacchan, did you see the photos? Turns out he was with that girl you were seeing before you broke up!”

He growled into the microphone, his noise being caught by Midoriya’s ears. “I saw. They look terrible together.”

“You think so? I think they look cute together! I’m glad he found someone.”

“Yeah well I’m not,” he snapped and began to pace around the room. “I know she’s playing hard to get. She came to visit me again even after saying to fuck off. That obviously means something. I mean, why wouldn’t she want me? I’m rich, successful and the highest out of everyone. Why would she settle for him?” he spat, his voice dripping with malice and hatred for the blond. 

“Uh, Todoroki? Do you hear how you’re sounding right now?”

“Course I do.”

“Then don’t you think you’re being a bit too...over the top?”

“I’m not. I sound perfectly fine. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have business to take care of.”

“Ahh okay! See you tomorrow Todoroki-kun!”

Without saying goodbye, Shouto hit the red circle and turned his phone off, shoving it into his front pocket. “I guess some things I have to keep working for,” he whispered and walked past the mess he made prior to the phone call, to the door. His hand wrapped around the knob and twisted it, pulling it to open the door. 

“I’m Shouto. I’ll win her back. She’ll realize I’m the one for her, and he’s complete utter shit. I’ll get her back. I’m the best after all.”

An amusing chuckled rumbled through his chest as he made his way down the corridor, on his way to take back what was his first. 

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Shouto Todoroki would have never thought about this situation in a million years. Yet again, here he was. Arriving at the daycare with a frown upon his face, he exited the vehicle with a gentle push of the driver’s door, the car not moving from the gentle force. He took one glance at the daycare and sighed softly. “It’ll be easy,” he whispered to himself, letting one foot lead in front of the other. As he walked to the entrance, he took notice of the new and improved details. The once peeling paint was newly refurbished, each drawing looking amazing as ever. The hedges surrounded the center like a barrier, protecting them from him. The flowers he ordered were no longer there, which he assumed they died over time or you tossed them out, Instead, they were replaced with lilies and roses, each color displaying just for him. The color orange only reminded him of Katsuki Bakugou, a newfound hatred for him. Each flower moved with the wind as they greeted him.

He walked to the front door with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. Upon reaching it, he slowly lifted a hand that seemed to weigh more than anything in the world. He let out a shaky sigh and let his knuckles hit the door twice. Shouto brought his hand to his mouth and wiped it, his lips dry from nervousness. 

He felt as if years passed by as he stood there, waiting for you or someone to answer. He hoped it was only you, but by the looks of it, another car was parked beside yours, and it definitely wasn’t one of the employees. 

The sweet melody of laughter filled his ears as he stared at the knob moving to open the door. The hinges squeaked and it was pulled open, Shouto keeping his eyes trained forward. 

You opened the door with a laugh, Bakugou bringing up an old memory from his high school years. 

Your smile faltered as it was automatically wiped with your face, a scowl replacing it instead. “What do you want?”

“I want to talk to you.”

“I don’t,” you snapped and went to close the door in his face but he stuck his foot out last second, the only thing keeping you from shutting him out forever. 

“Please. I just want to talk.”

You said nothing in return, slowly opening the door again. You stood in front of the frame, your arms crossed over your torso. “Outside.”

“Princess? Who is at the door?”

Shouto’s ears perked at the sound of Bakugou’s voice as he tried looking over your shoulder before you moved in front of his line of sight. “No one Katsuki! Give me five!” you yelled back, pressing a hand against Shouto’s chest and you pushed him slightly, shutting the door behind you. 

“Princess? He’s here too? So you’re fucking him now?”

“And what if I am? What’s it matter to you, Todoroki? Why do you care now? We aren’t together. You made that quite clear a year ago.”

“I know but, him? Out of all people you went for him?”

“Yeah, I did. Is that a problem for you? Oh wait, I guess it is if we are even having this conversation. Plus I thought you wanted to talk. Not pick on the things you think are wrong with my life.” 

Shouto’s hands twitched by his side, itching to feel your body against his once more. “I-“

“Or is the problem is that you can’t even hold a real conversation without making it about you, huh?”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh, it’s not?” You tilted your head to the side. “Prove it then, right now. What the hell is so important that you have to bug me?” you demanded. You hated how he could just waltz up in here and act like nothing happened. One of the many things you hated about him.

“I’m sorry.”

You choked on air as you stared at him, shocked. “You— you’re what?”

“I said I’m sorry.”

“Y-You’re sorry?”

He nodded quietly, a look of sadness in his eyes. You didn’t believe him one bit. You couldn’t. If he was actually sorry, why did he wait so long? Did he expect you to make the first move? 

“If you are, why did you wait so long?” you whispered softly, the ground becoming your main interest as you kicked at it gently with the tip of your shoe. “Why a year? Why not when I saw you again?”

“...I don’t know. I thought you would have come back to me after what I said. I didn’t think it would get this out of hand. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything I said back then.”

“I don’t believe you Shouto. I’m sorry but I can’t. You caused me so much fucking pain that I—“ you cut yourself off, letting out a shaky breath. “— I couldn’t even trust him. It took me so long to finally trust Katsuki because of you. You ripped my heart and took it with you until you didn’t need me anymore for your selfish desires. You don’t care for me Shouto, you never have.”

“Y/N,” he whispered and took a step forward, halting when he saw you take a step away from him. “Please. I still love you.”

“No you don’t!” you yelled suddenly, clenching your fists as you looked into his eyes. Your vision became glossy with tears, the glistening substance trailing down your face. “You don’t! Stop lying to me! When will you stop lying to people Shouto?! Don’t you see?! We have feelings! We get hurt!” you cried out, pointing a finger in his way. “We aren’t for your personal pleasures!! You used me! You threw me out! And now that I’m finally happy, you want me back?!”

Your bottom lip quivered in pain as you let out a choked sob, bringing a hand to shield it from him. “You aren’t the only human on this planet! Stop pretending that you are! You can’t even see the real message in front of you, can you?!”

Shouto stood there in shock. His mind was moving a thousand miles per hour but nothing left his lips. His body refused to move any closer to your, afraid of a future he didn’t want. He loves you. After all this time, he’s in love with you. He misses your small kisses, your beautiful laugh, your smile that was only for him. He misses seeing you beside him in the awakening morning, your messy hair or tired displays of love. Yet in his own foolishness, he lost you. 

“I always thought I might be bad, now I’m sure that it’s true,” he started off with a whisper, letting his body move on its own. “Cause I think you’re so good, and I’m nothing like you, Y/N.”

“Stop coming towards me.”

He didn’t listen, only advancing forward to you. You sunk your teeth into your lower lip as you placed a hand behind you, feeling the door that was behind you. He bent one leg slightly, looming over you. You lifted a hand up, bringing it down to slap him but he caught it last second, holding both of your wrists in his hand. 

“Look at you go, I just adore you,” he whispered softly, his voice sending chills through your body. His own orbs glossed with tears, sniffling as he rested his forehead against yours. His eyes squeezed shut as his tears cascaded down his face, the substance hitting against your hands. 

“I wish that I knew what makes you think I’m so special,” you whispered meekly, your voice cracking with each word that left your mouth. The wavering in your vocal cords made you upset with yourself. His fingers tighten around your smaller hands, bringing them to his chest. You could feel the steady beat of his heart. 

“I learned how to love like you… and in my own stupidity, I ruined it. Please, all I ask is for one more chance. I’m better than him, ” he opened his eyes, his heterochromia ones staring into your own. His tears flowed effortlessly. 

Here was the man that once said he didn’t need anyone at the top. That he was the one looking over everyone with no one by his side, that no one was worthy of him. The one who couldn’t believe in trust. The one who was the best at everything. The one who got what he always wanted. Here was the man that you fell head over heels for, but got your heart crushed in the process. Leaving you for the dust, you were left. Until someone else came in, slowly picking up the pieces of your broken heart and piecing them back together until you were ready to hand your heart off to him. 

You squirmed in Shouto’s grip until your hands broke free from his grip. “Get off!!” you yelled, pushing him off of you with full force, watching him stumble back and fall on his ass, landing on the soft grass. 

“What part don’t you get anymore?! I said I never wanted to see you again and you want to talk and pull that crap?!”

“That’s not—“

“That’s not what?!” you yelled, your tears of sadness turning into fresh hot tears of anger. “You think you can come walking in here and say ‘Hey I’m super sorry I didn’t mean it! Can we get back together again?!’ Did you honestly think that would work, Shouto?! I don’t love you anymore!! I don’t want you anymore!!”

“Hey, what’s going on?!”

You swiveled around quickly, a sense of relief filing your body at the entrance of an ash blond. Bakugou walked up to you and noticed Shouto on the floor, his fingers digging into the earth. “What the hell is happening?”

“Katsuki,” you whispered and threw yourself at him, burying your head into his chest as your arms encircled his torso. His arms immediately wrapped around your body, bringing you closer into his protection. 

“Why are you here, Icy-Hot?!”

Shouto got up quickly, wiping the dirt from his backside. “I came to talk to Y/N.”

“I don’t want to talk to you anymore!” you yelled, turning around slightly to face him. Your fingers dug into Bakugou’s side, not hard enough to cause any pain. “I want you gone!!”

“I’m not done talking with you yet!”

“She said she doesn’t want you here. Now leave!! I know you’re a fucking asshole but I didn’t know you can’t listen!!” Bakugou yelled, his face slowly turning into a rosy red as his anger levels rose. His grip on your body tightens, his knuckles turning white. 

You cracked Bakugou’s jaw in your face, forcing him to look down at you. Yet, he couldn’t look at you, keeping his eyes trained on the hero in front of him. “Katsuki,” you whispered, gently patting his cheek. “Please look at me.”

The ash-blond reluctantly looked down at you, his nostrils flaring in anger. “I love you,” you said softly, your hand reaching up and brushing some hair out of his face. 

His face softens at your words, feeling his anger slowly fade away. “I love you too.”

You nodded and pulled away from him, inhaling deeply as you walked up to Shouto, your head held high. He stared down at you with nothing but eyes full of defeat and sorrow. A small smile of sadness curved at your lips as you cupped his cheek. He closed his eyes as he leaned into your touch, begging for more of it. 

“Shouto,” you whispered softly, keeping the gap between both of you evident for Katsuki’s observing eyes. “I don’t want to be with you anymore. I’m happy. Can’t you see?” you asked, pulling away from him. “I love Katsuki with all my heart. I want to be with him. What you and I had, that’s long gone. You decided that you didn’t need that, you didn’t bother to care for someone other than yourself. You chose this route, I didn’t. I loved and cared for you. I truly did.”

You took a step back and looked into his awaiting eyes, his heart waiting for the words he longed for, but knew he wasn’t getting them anytime soon. “You chose fame and money over me, I can’t get upset by your decision. All I ask, is that you leave the both of us alone. Please.”

“Y/N, please. I’m sorry for what I did. Please just-”

You shook your head and lifted your hand in the air, cutting him off. “I’m tired of hearing you now. Please, leave already. You’re making it worse by being here. So do us a favor before he comes in and does something he won’t forget.”

Shouto’s heart of stone fell to the base of his body, cracking upon contact and shattering into millions of pieces. This time it was unfixable. The last time he felt this hurt was when he was a mere child, seeing the abuse his mother was put through by his father. He felt lost and alone like no one was by his side. Here was the woman he loved. He thought he had a future with you. But let’s be realistic, after the show he put on a year ago, that dream was long gone. He chose this path, with many regrets. What was he even thinking? He let his pride win over his own humanity. And now he has to pay the price for it.

Without another word to you or Bakugou, he swiveled on his heel and rushed to his car, his hand fishing in his pocket for his keys. He opened the door as quick as he could and got inside, jabbing the keys to start it up. It wasn’t worth it if he couldn’t get back with you. 

You stood under the tree, the sun making its way to take its rest for the day. The gentle rays of orange seep through the leaves, hitting your supple skin that gave you a glow. A small smile of satisfaction graced your features as you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to bathe in the tranquility of this moment. 

You wrapped your arms around your body as you hummed softly, your eyes stinging and tired from your previous crying. 

Arms from behind wrapped around you, bringing you to rest against his chest. Bakugou leaned over slightly, burying his head in the crook of your neck. “What are you thinking about, pretty girl?”

“Mmm, you as always.”

“That’s funny,” he mumbled, nipping the tender skin of your neck before placing a kiss in its place. “What were you really thinking about?”

“You!” You laughed softly, resting your head on top of his. “Am I not allowed to think about my amazing boyfriend?”

A pinch to your side made you squeak in surprise as you tried pulling away from him, but his strong arms kept you in place. “I didn’t say that dumbass,” his gruff voice whispered in your ear as he suddenly lifted you up, holding you in a bridal style carry. Your arms immediately wrapped around his neck.  

“What’s with the over the top affection now?” you teased, kissing his cheek gently, lingering your lips on the warm skin. 

“Damn you always have to question everything I do, don’t you?” he huffed in annoyance as he walked back inside, kicking the door of the daycare center shut. “Can’t just take my answer as it is.”

“Oh but you know I love messing with you, Suki!”

He grumbled at the pet name you’ve given him over the course of your relationship. No matter how many times he said he hated it, deep down he loved hearing it come from you and only you. If anyone found out about it, he wouldn’t be afraid to blast them to hell. 

“Katsuki?”

“What?”

“What do you think about that whole ordeal?”

“Well it was fucking stupid,” he started off, placing you down on the couch beside him as he threw an arm around your shoulder, bringing you to rest your head on his shoulder. “He had no business coming back again, even after you told him you wanted nothing to do with him. He should have known better than to mess with you. Fucking bastard doesn’t know when to stop,” he growled, his hand rubbing up and down your arm.

“Well I don’t think he’ll be bothering me anytime soon,” you looked up at him, smiling. “Especially now. After all, I got a little guard dog.”

“Guard dog?! Is that what you think of me as?!”

“Maybe,” you trailed the last syllable out, grinning before going serious. “But overall… I’m glad I met you. As you know, I was in a dark place before we started dating and, I just want to truly thank you for coming into my life, Katsuki.”

His vermillion eyes trained on your expressions before kissing your forehead. “Dumbass, you don’t have to thank me. After all, that idiot needs a good punch to the face. And I might be the one to do it.”

You rolled your eyes and nestled your head into his chest, breathing in his caramel scent. Before meeting Bakugou Katsuki, you thought you could never trust or find someone that truly loved you and was not using you for their personal gain. You were a broken piece of art and he was the sculptor. Over time he mended the pieces of your shattered heart and formed it into something better than before. Bakugou Katsuki was not only your lover, he was your best friend, your shoulder to cry on. 

But most importantly, he was your hero. 

[sunlightwoo]

wc: 1027

-

“Kevin, why are you breaking my limbs, I’m literally right behind you.” You huffed out and stared at the male that was standing in front of you with a cheeky smile on his face, his hand on the knob knowing that he had something up his sleeve.

In fact he did, which was why when he reached out to Chanhee to make sure that you and Changmin would stay in the same room when his youtube video releases to know the truth. The day that Kevin was filming both of yours and Changmin’s answers for your interviews, he had a plan to get you both back together knowing that you were both too stubborn to even admit the evident feelings that lingered between you both, and thought this might be the best way to let it all out.

Hence why he felt as though his palms were going to fall out of his bare hands when he was reaching the front door of his home.

By the time that you both make it inside, you notice that there was another person on the couch and your instincts immediately almost kick in to leave, just when Kevin was already holding onto your wrist so that you wouldn’t leave. After giving you a silent argument with his eyes, you could only strangle him mentally knowing that you weren’t in the position to want to talk to Changmin at the moment, much less be in the same room as him.

“We’re all going to watch my new video together, and yes this was planned.” He grins as he makes sure to sit in between you both so that there wasn’t anything that could break out while the video was playing in front of you three.

And luckily there wasn’t as you watched how Kevin’s video came out considering you had always admired how well he had edited his videos, up until the part where the interviews finally happened. Your face warms up at the confessions that you remember making to Kevin as the only noise filling up the room was your embarrassment and confession of still loving Changmin and you could’ve sworn that if it weren’t for Kevin holding down both yours and Changmin’s arms down, then you would’ve left.

However, it was now up to Changmin’s part of the interview that Kevin motions for you with his eyes to pay attention, and a frown that was evident on your face spoke measures as you did anyways, despite the embarrassment that was building up in your stomach. You listen in for a moment as you watched Kevin ask him the questions that were similar to yours, up until there was a question that made you freeze in your seat seeing as though it had gotten serious.

“If you were given a chance to have a relationship with Bubbles again, would you take it and see how it goes?” Kevin asks, seeing as though Changmin had looked more serious by the time that he asks him the question as the latter shifts in his seat momentarily before nodding slightly.

“I’m scared to imagine that I would even have the slightest chance to take back Bubbles. I don’t think I deserve to have something as good as that in my life, knowing how badly I had hurt them in the past. I think that is why when she asked me to keep our relationship platonic, I was relieved because she was always and has been my best friend even before we dated, but it still kind of hurt knowing that there will always be those feelings that I kept only for her because she wasn’t like any other person that I have ever dated.”

The video suddenly pauses as you could feel tears pricking at the corner of your eyes and you knew that there was definitely a pair of eyes settling on yours, just as you hear Kevin mumble quietly that he was going to be back and left the room. Glancing over to your side, you see Changmin curled up on the couch with his knees up to his chest and he was already looking at you with glossed eyes that mirrored yours, neither of you saying a word as the video was still settling into your brain to process.

He still loves you, and he meant it this time around sober.

The silence and tension building up between you both continued to grow as you weren’t sure what to say, but there was something about how Changmin slowly unraveled himself to take a breath that you weren’t sure of whether or not you should speak up first.

“I still love you, Y/N, I don’t think I’ve ever stopped when you finally came back,” He breathed out quietly, sitting in front of you with his hands in his lap and you sniffled a bit as there was a single tear that you felt escape from your eyes while you reached out to wipe it.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to even say it.”

The fact that your heart was pounding loudly in your chest spoke more than what your mind was yelling at you to do, which was to kiss him, because you wanted to just let him back in again to see what happens if you both went out again. The only downfall was that you were scared of the vulnerability that you would be putting yourself at, and it might’ve been the only thing that was holding you back.

Your mind somehow was faster than you can even say anything, because you sat up from where you were currently sitting to reach over and kiss him softly, his lips fitting against yours like puzzle pieces that completed the other. Tears were now streaming down your face as the kiss you were sharing now felt different than the one that you filmed the other day, knowing that this was real and filled with lost emotions that were found again rather than a staged one that felt empty.

He was your missing puzzle piece, and somehow knew that he was your endgame even with the curtains closed.

UNDER THE SPOTLIGHT: CURTAIN CALL

chapter twenty: curtain call

a/n: last chapter before the epilogue :(( how are we feeling guys :)

summary: after the curtain closes, you know that you are no longer the character that plays the love interest of Ji Changmin’s character. all feelings that could possibly be felt towards him could be you being immersed into your own character. how much of it was actually true considering you couldn’t tell what was real and what was acting.

taglist: @sankyeom​ @viastro​ @mae-gi-writes​ @vibecheckvernon​ @escapewriter​ @catboyeatr​ @notmangojuice​ @anjcia​ @caibaby23​ @bunnylover0193​ @jaehyvnsvalentine​ @mochinyu​ @sunwoowuvbot​ @nanadreamies​ @sanshiine​ @gretzelle17​  @moonlightgrlkev​ @parfaitz​ @elcie-chxn​ @sunzwoo​ @banhmi07​ @allyg-onz​ @changnuggie​ @reverienostalgia​ @juyeo-on​ @mimaisiomai​ @seventeeneration​ @etherealbyeol​ @softforqiankun​ @younggwingss​ @caralice​ @fabshua​ @privyjk​ @deobi-pabo​ @lovecn​ @glxwingstar​ @winterbeartaehyungbestboy​ @propollis​ @tr8sure​ (want to be added to the taglist for a specific member, story or the entire series? click here or send an ask/dm to be added!)

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[simp-for-mha-men]

𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕤: 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕖 (𝕕𝕖𝕟𝕜𝕚 𝕜𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕣𝕚 𝕩 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣)

A/N: My first piece of writing! I hope that all of you enjoy it. I LOVE IT! (also a Denki stan, so ya know) I totally believe Denki is the kinda person to create friends only AND in person. Without further ado, here ya go.

Genre: fluffy fluff with mutual pining 💞

Word count: 2.3k

♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥*♥

itzElectric has joined the chat

itzElectric: HEAR YE! HEAR YE! I SUMMON MY COMPANION @IceStorm TO CURE MY BOREDOM!

Denki Kaminari was once again on his phone, searching for the person who he began talking to only months ago in a future-hero chatroom. He remembered he slid into IceStorm’s DMs with a cheesy pick-up line: Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Enough to break the ice. A classic one-liner he hoped wouldn’t scare the person on the other side of the screen away.

IceStorm ended up responding to the DM almost immediately, commenting on how the Titanic wouldn’t appreciate that opener. Denki knew from that simple reply that he and IceStorm were going to get along just fine.

IceStorm, whose name he later found out was (y/n), was an all around perfect human being. Seriously, they were. Denki swore to the Bakusquad that if you looked up the definition of perfect in the dictionary, (y/n)’s tag would be next to it.

Their quirk related to the online name they chose for themselves. The fact that they could not only produce ice from their body but also turn any bodies of water, like clouds or lakes, into ice was fascinating to the electric boy. He, in turn, shared his quirk with (y/n). He even sent a video of himself in full “Dumb Denki” mode, to which he received an audio clip of them laughing hysterically as a reply.

The two online friends shared everything with each other. When (y/n) broke up with their first boyfriend, they talked with Denki the entire night over voice chat. When Denki started doubting himself and his placement in UA’s hero course, the future ice hero immediately gave him a million reasons on why he was going to become a great hero.

It took Chargebolt only 3 months to realize that he had developed feelings for his online friend after sending that fateful DM. He couldn’t tell (y/n) though. No way. If he did, they would probably block him, maybe even delete their account and create a new one just to get away from him for good.

How did this happen you might ask? Well, it began when (y/n) and Denki found out they were the same age. They also both wanted to become pro-heroes, obviously. Plus, all of their interests lined up with each other. It was as if fate pulled them both together through an internet connection and an obsession with Tik Tok memes.

Snapping out of his trance, Denki realized he had been zoning out for a few minutes to recount how he met his current crush. He was so head-over-heels for a person he had only ever heard and not seen that he didn’t even check if IceStorm was online.

Doing just what his brain thought of, he clicked IceStorm’s profile in his friends list and saw what he wished to see the most. Next to a green dot read the words Status: Online, making Denki’s heart rate speed up just a bit.

Instead of waiting for more time to pass, and considering it was almost 2 AM on a Friday night, he DMed the ice maker.

itzElectric: hey.....you lowkey left me hangin in the main chat 😔

He hoped, prayed, and wished that (y/n) would respond. He wanted his partner in crime. His meme expert. His muse. He wanted another audio clip of them singing songs horribly off-key or laughing at another ridiculously stupid Tik Tok. He wanted his heart to flutter in his chest just a bit more. He wanted to feel them in person. He wanted...no, needed to video chat with (y/n).

They had known each other for a total of 8 months, and graduation was coming up for the both of them. If he could video chat with (y/n), maybe he could work up the courage and ask to meet them at the café near U.A. It had the best pastries, something that he knew they would love.

itzElectric: something up? you know you can tell me anything 

Very rarely did it take you more than a couple of seconds to respond to the blonde. It worried him. What if something had happened? What if you were doubting yourself? What if you had gotten injured? What if you were--

Suddenly, his phone vibrated. He never had picked it up faster in his life. As he looked down at the message he had just sent, he felt his face heat up slightly when he read your response.

IceStorm: nah nothing’s wrong. was someone worried about me? lol 🥴

He was so happy you couldn’t see his blushing face. However, little did he know the reason you didn’t meet him in the chat room was because you were thinking about what to say. Also, you were blushing as well.

Going to Shiketsu was a big deal, and you never wanted to get distracted. When you met itzElectric online, everything changed. You began developing feelings. It was an issue, but it was a very, very good issue. You had never seen his face. All you wanted to do was video chat with him. If you could video chat with Denki, maybe you could work up the courage and ask to meet him at the café near U.A. It had the best frappes, something that you knew he would love.

You felt your heart rate pick up when Denki responded to your previous message.

itzElectric: obviously. if you died or something, who would make me feel better about myself? 👉🏻👈🏻🥺

Denki began questioning his latest reply. It sounded clingy, he thought. He might as well have just dug his own grave. Who would say something like that?

IceStorm: awwww is my bb giving me a compliment 💘

Your heart soared with emotion. This man, separated by a screen, was your world. You could never have him, though. If you did, he would get freaked out. Besides, you knew he was a flirt with how many pick-up lines he got your opinion on. 

itzElectric: well.....since your online, i wanted to ask you something kinda important

Denki knew he shouldn’t be typing anything to them. He knew that this could make or break their entire relationship. In a couple minutes, he might be blasting The One That Got Away by Katy Perry and crying. Despite this, he waited for (y/n)’s reply.

IceStorm: sure. what’s up?

itzElectric: i feel like we have a pretty strong connection....so can we maybe see each other

You might as well have gone into cardiac arrest. This man, the man you’ve had a crush for 4 months, just asked you to meet him. Or was it a video chat request? Maybe just pictures? You needed clarification before you freaked out even more.

IceStorm: what do you mean? like in person or....?

Denki froze. In person? YOU wanted to meet HIM in person? That did not catch him off guard. No, totally not. It punched, kicked, and threw him off guard. That wasn’t suppose to happen. He wanted to video chat then meet up with you. Could this happen out of order?

IceStorm: yo....pika? gonna answer me? 

The electric boy typed before his brain could tell him to stop what he was doing.

itzElectric: can you video chat right now?

He wanted exactly what you wanted. The months of banter over chat and stupid voice memos led up to this, but you couldn’t believe it. The two of you could never be together. Denki had to have a girlfriend or boyfriend. There’s no way a catch like him would still be single. Still, you typed your response out immediately.

IceStorm: yes

Your phone began vibrating profusely due to the incoming call. In the moment, you forgot to turn on any lights. Leaping out of your bed, you scrambled to turn on the lamp that was on your desk. You then turned on the one next to the bed. Then, you did the unthinkable: you answered the call.

When the phone stopped ringing, Denki saw you. Oh my All Might.....why didn’t he do this sooner? He was floored by your looks. You were even better than perfect. Your face held a soft expression that made him turn almost as red as a tomato. Your hair complemented the irises of your eyes beautifully. It was as if you weren’t even human. You were just an angel visiting him for a brief moment.

You were seeing him in the same light. His blonde hair and bright yellow eyes made a fire ignite in your heart. He held a goofy grin, one you had imagined many nights before falling asleep. However, you were very far off. His entire persona was fixated in that grin. It was absolutely phenomenal.

“Hi,” you started, letting out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding.

“Hey,” he responded.

Denki was speechless. You were enamored. This was everything you both wanted.

“So,” you began, “should I call you Denki or itzElectric?”

“Whatever you want.”

Denki wasn’t using his brain anymore. It was as if he short-circuited himself without using his quirk. He was responding to everything you said from his heart. It was all out of love for you.

You giggled a bit, bringing the electricity user back to his senses.

“Why all of this suddenly?” you questioned.

“I wanted to see you.”

“Really?”

“No. I,” Denki paused and inhaled, “I needed to see you. To hear you. To just be with you.”

Your face became flushed as if you had been training for the past 5 hours. The guy you had fallen so hard for needed to see you? He wasn’t acting flirty or overly comedic. He was peaceful and had a glint in his eye. Could it be--?

“D-dude! You can’t just s-say things like that,” you stammered in the best voice possible.

Denki was whipped for you. He glanced at the clock and realized it was 2:18. He needed to be up at 7 for a morning run with Kirishima. He’s run on no sleep before from talking to you all night, but tomorrow was going to be a strenuous training day. He had to get everything off of his chest.

“Listen,” Denki said, “(y/n), I really--”

“N-no. Just w-wait a minute,” you cut in.

Two very different emotions coursed through you both. You felt a sense of purpose, bordering on the edge of extreme shyness. Denki felt nervous, bile already threatening his throat.

“I like you,” you stated.

His eyes grew the size of dinner plates. You did not just say that. He just had too much caffeine before bed. Wait, he didn’t have anything with caffeine before bed. 

“L-like as m-more than a friend. You’re really cool, and I want to see you,” you ended.

When you realized he hadn’t said anything, you panicked. Trying to cover up your embarrassment, you just started spewing out word vomit.

“You know what? Forget I said anything. It’s clear that you are totally not ready to talk about that. I mean you probably have someone else in mind, right? I’m not the best looking. My jokes are subpar. I mean, I’m not even that confi--”

“In person?”

“Wait...what?”

“Do you want to see me in person?” Denki asked.

He was floored. The person, who he had feelings for, liked him back. For the first time in his life, the pick-up lines and corny jokes worked. He was truly himself and still got the prize: love.

“Yes,” you replied. “I really, really want to see you in person.”

“You can on one condition.”

You tilted your head, clearly confused by his statement. He chuckled at this and continued talking.

“You have to let me hold your hand.”

“What?”

“I like you too, IceStorm.”

Your online username coming out of his mouth made you smile so wide. It also could’ve been the fact that the guy you fell so hard for reciprocated your feelings.

“Want to meet at the café near your school on Sunday? At around 1?” you blurted, hoping that wouldn’t be too soon for him.

“Absolutely. Speaking of which,” he began, “I need to test out my newest pick-up line.”

You rolled your eyes, faking distaste, but on the inside, you wanted nothing more than to hear it. After all, he felt the same way about you. It was bound to make your heart soar even more now.

“Do you like coffee?” he smirked. “Because I like you a latte.”

You couldn’t help bursting out in laughter and blushing profusely. He, in turn, laughed with you and felt butterflies in his stomach. This continued for a couple of minutes before both of you could catch your breaths and refocus yourselves on the conversation.

You were ecstatic. He was elated. You actually did it. You admitted your feelings to the one guy you never thought you could have. You were everything to him. He would electrocute the whole world just for you to smile if necessary. It was as if fate had finally done its job.

Forgetting about his morning run with Kirishima, Denki started a new conversation about the latest Tik Tok he saw. You replied with your usual sarcasm to which he pretended to be mortified by your opinion.

It went on for hours. The two of you were genuinely happy. Hopefully, Denki would ask you on a date soon. Maybe, you might have to, but who knows.

Suddenly, in the midst of talking about plans after high school, a knock sounded on Denki’s door. He glanced at the clock and realized it was Kirishima.

“Be out in few!” he yelled, jumping out of bed.

He threw his phone down, which still had the call going, and got dressed at lightning speed. Once you had calmed down from laughing at his urgency, he picked up the phone and said something you’ll never forget.

“I’ll see you soon, my wonderful snowflake. Zapping out!”

[miracle-sham]

Our Faces are Hidden Behind Masks of Glass.

| {Maribat 2k20 – Day 1: Late Night Discussions} |

| [Ao3 Link] | | [Masterlist Link] |

| Sometimes, when secret identities are revealed, you just need a cuppa tea and some reaffirmation—and maybe some cuddles too. |

| Word count: 1534. |

==–==

| A/N: So I really thought SCAB would be my first piece of writing posted on here/for Maribat but then I got mugged in a dark dank alleyway by the Maribat2k20 MariTim prompt calendar and stabbed by the knife of inspiration. So uh yeah enjoy. |

| If you want to be tagged in future oneshots/fics, or a specific Au, then send me a DM or an ask! |

| Also side note, Don't Like? Don't Read. Also please do not criticise any of my writing. This was written for fun and receiving criticism, even in a compliment/criticism sandwich, is the exact opposite of fun. |

==–==

 Heck-heck-heckity-heckles, Marinette chants in her head, desperately needing to find an empty alleyway that she can detransform in. She flicks her yo-yo towards a random skyscraper, and swings her way across the Gotham night skyline, scanning the streets below for somewhere that met her criteria.

 Just as her earrings bleep thrice to signal that she was down to two dots, she spots it, an empty alleyway not in plain view of any roads, or windows. There! She cheers internally, dropping down into the alleyway and whispering a “Tikki, spots off!”

 However, her relief at finding a place to detransform is short-lived, for as soon as the bright pink glow fades away, she's faced with the sight of Red Robin half changed into civvies, domino in one hand. Marinette stares at him in shock, and he stares back. Blinking blankly, she tries to wrap her mind around the fact that one of her "civilian" friends is actually a hero. A hero she's allies with, friends even.

 The two stand there for a solid minute as their brains reboot. Tim cocks his head to one side, gaze flickering between looking her up and down, and staring at her earrings. Marinette also cocking her head to one side but her gaze switches between his bare face and the domino in his hand.

 Once their brains finish rebooting, immediately the two blurt out the first thoughts to come to mind.

 “Tim... You're Red Robin?”–

 –“Wait, Marinette, you've been Ladybug this entire time?”

  Marinette swallowed, blinking back tears, suddenly very aware of how vulnerable she was in the open with her secret exposed and—oh god, Tim's the first person to know my identity bar Master Fu… This is the first time I've ever had my identity revealed and I didn't even get a choice—She manages to choke down a sob before spitting out, “I think we should take this somewhere more private.” The words burning her tongue with the acrid taste of fear.

 He nods sharply—almost more of a jerk than an actual nod. “I agree.”

 Neither makes an attempt to move, both still staring.

 “My place or yours?” She asks, hesitantly, half frowning.

 He nods again, more softly this time, “Mine, but lemme just um…” Gesturing towards the amalgamation that was half his Red Robin suit and half civvies as he speaks.

 Marinette's eyes widen in realisation, practically squeaking, she stutters. “Oh. Uh yeah, sorry!” She stiffly turns her back to him in an act of respect of privacy and cradles her face in her hands as her cheeks flush bright red from embarrassment. God, I'm never going to live this down, am I?

 After about a minute of stewing in her embarrassment, she hears Tim clears his throat from the other side of the Alleyway. “Okay, done.”

 She turns around to face him again, the blush has faded somewhat in the time passed but it's still very clearly noticeable. She can't help but glance at his civilian outfit. “Oh, er, nice?”

 He sort of just blinks at her, rather bemused. “Uh, thanks… I guess?”

 An awkward silence hangs over them as they shuffle and dance around each other on their way out of the alleyway. The walk to his theatre house is just as silent and awkward despite the hundreds of questions on each of their lips. A good thing then—Marinette supposes—that we didn't go to my place, I'm not sure I'd be able to handle an even longer awkward silence.

==–==

 They take the civilian route inside—also known as using the door like a sane person—because apparently, vigilantes will only use windows as entrances provided there are windows to enter and that the vigilantes in question are suited up. Tim spends a good thirty seconds opening his front door, deactivating a bunch of different security protocols most likely. The hallway and lounge lights were already on probably to try and deter potential robbers—the house is in Crime Alley after all—but once they enter said hallway, all the ceiling lights on the first floor switch on.

 Tim guides her to the sofa, which she perches on the edge of, facing the massive fish tank before disappearing into the kitchen. The sound of shuffling feet, cupboards and drawers opening, and the click of a kettle—or perhaps a coffee machine? She can't quite tell from this distance—are the only things to give away what he's doing in there. Marinette has no doubts that he's making the noise on purpose, he's a bat. But she's not quite sure if the noise is because he's comfortable here, or if it's because he's trying to make her feel more welcome?

 A minute later, Tim re-emerges with two teacups in hand. He gently lays both on a coffee table between the sofa and aquarium, one of the cups pushed towards her general direction. He plops himself down on the sofa as well, albeit leaving enough space between the two of them that a third person could sit there.

 She picks up the drink and peers at it, perplexed, for a second, question falling from her mouth before she can stop herself, “Earl Grey? With lemon?” I thought he was a coffee person?

 “Alfred.” Is his clipped response.

 She nods and 'oh's under her breath. That explains it. Marinette takes a sip and her eyes light up. “Oh wow! This is delicious!”

 Tim raises his eyebrows in amusement and snorts but doesn't comment. The conversation lulls again. They sip their tea in silence.

 When Marinette finishes her tea, she carefully puts the mug back down, with an audible clink, on the coffee table. She hesitates and the words Kagami once told her come unbidden to her mind. She grimaces, glances to Tim.

 He's watching her with that calculating gaze of his, however, it seems far more tumultuous in nature this evening. He's hiding his mouth behind his mug like another mask.

 Marinette leans back against the sofa and stares at his ceiling before idiomatically biting the bullet and physical biting her lips. “How long are we going to do this?”

 He freezes. “Do what?”

 She gestures vaguely in the air between the two of them. “This, tiptoe around the elephant in the room or I suppose in our case, the vigilantes in the room.”

 Her phrasing manages to bring a small smile to his face but not a second later it fades and he purses his lips.

 Solemnly, he gives her a once over. “So you're Ladybug then?”

 Marinette huffs. “And you're Red Robin.”

 “Does anyone else know that you're her then?”

 She turns her head away from him, “No, you're…” Her throat closes up and she's forced to blink back tears again. Barely holding back the sniffles, she chokes out the last few words. “You're the only other person to know.”—Not technically a lie, it's not like Master Fu remembers anything about the miraculous, let alone my identity.

 Tim deflates slightly, curling his shoulders inwards. “I wish you had told us before, we could have supported you. You shouldn't have had to deal with all that without help”

 “What? Like Batman didn't start off alone?” Marinette snaps back automatically, no real heat behind her words.

  “Batman's not exactly a pillar of good life decisions or emotional stability.” He retorts with a raised eyebrow.

 Sighing, she shakes her head and whines, “Tim…”

 “Marinette.” His lips twitch upwards like he's in on some joke she doesn't get, “On the bright side, now we know each other's identities, we can help each other on cases and patrols, or cover for the other in or out the masks.” He offers, sounding so calm and nonchalant.

 Marinette shuffles closer to him on the sofa. “That would be useful. I just. I.” She stutters, brain moving faster than her mouth.

 Tim grins ruefully. “You're worried I'm gonna tell the rest of the bats who you are, right?”

 She curls up instinctively. “Yeah…”

 “Don't worry, they're also detectives. If they can't work out your identity then why should I give them the answer?” He tries to joke but it falls flat.

 “The magic of the Miraculous stops people from making the connection between my two identities.” Marinette responds.

 “Ok, but what I'm trying to say is that I'm not going to give you away even if they ask.” He also shuffles closer to her and wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her towards him.

 “Thank you, Tim.”

 “No problem, Mari.”

 Marinette pauses. “So this won't affect our relationship in or out the mask, right? We're still friends?”

 “Of course! This doesn't change a thing.” Tim, emulating Dick, pulls her in for a hug, and if Marinette melts into his arms—well he's not going to say no to that, not when he's so touch starved.

==–==

 When Dick breaks into the house the next morning to check on Tim, seeing as he never checked out for the night nor did he return to the cave, he finds the two cuddled up together—fast asleep on the sofa. He nabs a spare blanket and pulls it over the two of them, snaps a pic to serve as evidence to Tim being okay, and then skedaddles before either can wake.

==–==

| Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little oneshot! Comments, likes, and reblogs are much appreciated! |

@maribat-2k20

[commander-rahrah]

RESIDENCY (AN OPEN HEART FIC): PART FIFTEEN

Pairing: MC (Jordynne Holland) X Ethan Ramsey X Bryce Lahela; MC X Bryce; MC X Ethan

Masterlist: Click Here

Chapter Rating: M (Swearing, Kissing, Alcohol Consumption) Warning: Themes of Alcoholism 

Word Count: 4800+

Description: Ethan faces reality after finally letting go and taking what he wants. Everything becomes too much for Jordynne, and she and Bryce get tangled up in knots. 

Disclaimer: Characters, storyline, and parts of the dialogue are taken from Pixelberry’s Choices. They fully own the characters, dialogue, backgrounds, etc. MC Jordynne’s background is my own creation, based loosely off of MC in-game’s personality and provided with more details.

Author’s Note: Is it too nerdy to admit that I cried while writing this chapter? This one scene has been in my brain FOREVER. Honestly, this chapter and the next few updates just get me right in the feels every time I read it. I have also been thinking of how to continue the story since I am nearing the end of the first book in-game. I really like staying closish to the game to provide more details and story and drama -- but can I really wait until the next book comes out?!?!? So far away. 

As always, all likes, comment, reblogs and replies are greatly appreciated. If you would like to be tagged in future updates please send a DM or reply on here. Thank you! 

Taglist: @drakewalkerfantasy @owleyes374 @lahelable @mayar-mahdy @paisleylovergirl @paisleylovergirl @nicquix @emilymay100 @octobereighth @llamasgrl @timmagicktoad @lilyofchoices @msjpuddleduck @mfackenthal @paulfwesley @ccolz88-blog @mindlessdreaminxo

Previous Updates: Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine  Part Ten  Part Eleven Part Twelve  Part Thirteen Part Fourteen

PART FIFTEEN

A soft light trickled in through the curtains in Ethan’s apartment. He was sprawled out on his bed, arms and legs tangled in his sheets. Jenner was at his side — wrapped as close to his owner as he could be.

Ethan woke with a stir, slowly opening his eyes and blinking the sleep away. Letting out a large sigh, he

slid out of the bed. His dog jumped up excitedly as his owner left the room, padding towards the kitchen.

Still half-awake, Ethan turned on the coffee machine before looking around at his apartment. An empty bottle of scotch sat on his coffee table, with a near-empty tumbler next to it. He had gone for the bottle as soon as he had gotten home the night before — he had needed some way to cope with what he’d done.

Last night.

It had been — it had been the compilation of many days of wanting to do that. To recreate how they felt on that balcony in Miami. Ethan couldn’t help but touch his lips — recalling the feeling of Jordynne’s mouth on his last night.

He couldn’t help himself — the look on her face as he pulled away from her, once again. It killed him — he didn’t want to be the cause of that. Especially, when he wanted it too — so badly. It had felt so right, so good— the way she fit into his arms, how their lips met. It was like he was built for her — two pieces going together perfectly.

But then the night ended, and Ethan pulled away from her apartment and was left alone once more. Left to his own thoughts with her intoxicating scent stuck on his clothes and car...

He had no idea what he was going to do.

He had meant it when he said he hadn’t wanted to face the reality of today. As much as Jordynne denied it — it was complicated. It couldn’t be as easy as the movies, or any other couple out there. But he couldn’t help that flicker of hope and want and need.

Letting out another sigh, Ethan padded across his apartment collecting his things and getting ready for the day. Looking at his car keys, he thought better of it and decided today he needed a walk to untangle his thoughts before getting to the hospital. Another moment for his mind to keep whirling before going back to reality. He gave Jenner a final scratch on the ear before heading out and locking the door.

It was a clear morning — the sun already up, only a few clouds in the sky. Lost in thought, time seemed to fly by as he marched down the sidewalk — his hands in his pant pockets, eyebrows furrowed and blue eyes staring forward.

Once he found himself in his office, Ethan snapped back to reality.

The results.

He had completely forgotten. In the heat and passion with Jordynne, in worrying what was going to happen between them, he had forgotten about Naveen’s latest test results. Grabbing his lab coat off of the back of his door, he hurriedly put it on, pulling the sleeves over his button up before racing out the door and into the white, sterile hallway.

Rushing to the nurse’s station, he found his mailbox and grabbed the stack of papers and clipboards sitting in his folder. Thumbing through them quickly, he searched for the familiar “Patient X” tag. Pulling the paper out, he felt his heart falter at he instinctually took in the results.

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

His heart went from almost a standstill to a pounding in his chest — climbing up into his throat. The hallway around him suddenly disappeared — his senses numbing and the white hallway and the faces in it turning into a blur.

It was over. He failed.

It didn’t matter how many books he had written, or correct diagnosis he had made before. It didn’t matter that he went behind the Chief of Medicine’s back and kept a secret patient. None of it mattered anymore. He failed.

Naveen was going to die.

Ethan walked slowly down the hallway in a daze, not really sure where he was going.

“Dr. Ramsey?”

Just the sound of her voice was enough to take him over the edge. This wasn’t how any of this was supposed to go.

“Dr. Ramsey, can we talk? I need your help...” Her voice was quiet, unsure.

“Wonderful. Someone else I can disappoint.” He muttered, closing his mouth as he gritted his teeth.

“What? What are you talking about?” The blonde did her best to try and keep up with him, as he kept marching forward with his eyes glazed over.

“Ethan,… you’re scaring me.” She lowered her voice, grabbing onto his elbow to make him stop.

He gulped at the action — the familiar sensation of her warm fingers distracting him for a moment. “I’m scared too, Jordynne.” He croaked out.

Letting out a heavy sigh, he unfolded and stared her straight in the eye. “I’ve got Naveen’s latest test results back. He has a month to live.” Unable to look her in the eye any longer, he closed them — his face screwing up in pain. “I couldn’t do it — I couldn’t save him.”

“No…” Jordynne swallowed, her eyebrows furrowing as she processed, “No, Ethan, there must be —“

Ethan put his hand up, “Please. Don’t.” His voice was a defeated whisper. Reaching behind him he fumbled for the doorknob. He couldn’t do this -- he couldn’t face her too.

Turning on his heel, Ethan marched into his office and closed the door behind him.

“Wait, Dr. Ramsey! Dr. Ramsey!”

Slumping to the ground, Ethan sat on the floor and leaned up against the door — his head falling back and resting on the hard surface. He did his best to control his breathing — the knot in his chest tightening.  

Jordynne’s voice muffled through the wooden door, and he heard the soft sound of her hand knocking on the door. “Ethan, please? Don’t shut me out.”

That did it. Hot tears escaped out of his eyes, running down his cheeks and dripping off of his chin. Moving his hands to his face, he buried it into them — muffling the sounds of his sobs.

_______________________________________________________________________

Jordynne’s green eyes had flickered to the closed door constantly over the next couple days. She had gotten all of her cases assigned to rooms near Ethan's office.

She knew him — he wouldn’t ask for help, he would want to suffer alone. But he had never let her do that. He had been there to comfort her, to make it better. And she was going to do the same.

She had yet to see him — she assumed he had emerged from his office at some time. But she still hadn’t seen him. So she had come to work earlier than usual — slipping out the apartment before her roommates were even awake.

Quickly changing in the locker room, Jordynne stuffed her messenger bag into her locker before turning on her heel to search the halls for him.

She knew he would be here. He probably had barely gone home lately. It was killing her — but she couldn’t imagine how he felt.

Everything had felt so different on the night of the opera. It had taken her hours to fall asleep that night — as she imagined all the different ways the next day could go. If Ethan was going to pretend nothing had happened again. If he would take her into his office, closing the door behind them to give her more of his hot, gentle kisses. Never had what really happened cross her mind. She thought they had so much more time with Naveen — more theories to test, more pages of her notebook to fill.

She hadn’t even told him about the interviews, being assigned partners on her cases to watch her. The sabotage. Chief Emery. He had enough going on — he didn’t need that weight too.

Her stomach twisting with nerves, she rounded the corner into the new wing — her eyes searching for the familiar attending.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Naveen... You and I have always trusted each other to do the... No, that’s not right.” Ethan shook his head at himself, his hands twisting together in front of him nervously.

“Dr. Ramsey?” The soft voice caused him to spin around quickly.

He looked up to Jordynne — suddenly very aware of his rough stubble and messy hair. He hadn’t gone home. Hell, he hadn’t even showered, let alone looked in a mirror.

“Hi.” He sounded a little breathless.

“Hi.” She did too.

“I have to tell Naveen that he has a month to live. And the moment he knows, he’ll leave the hospital. He didn’t want me to treat him in the first place.” Chewing his lip, he continued, “He joked that, if he couldn’t solve it himself, nobody could. I thought I could save him on my own... but maybe he was right.”

Jordynne stepped forward, her arms wrapped around her torso, “Do you want to let him leave?”

“God, no.” His eyebrows furrowed again, deep lines forming in his forehead, “I want to call in every doctor I know to help. Someone somewhere on this planet has to know how to fix this.”

His eyes met hers again — searching them. She would know what to do. Her moral compass always swung in the right direction. Even with Teresa — so idiotic for her self, but so kind for her patient.

“I think Dr. Banerji...,” She hesitates, licking her lips, “I think he should enjoy the time he has left, Ethan.”

His shoulders dropped. “Even if it means giving up on him?”

“If it’s what he wants... then yes.” She nodded sadly, “We have to respect that. Wouldn’t you want your doctor to listen to you?”

Taking a deep breath, he nodded. “You’re right. I have to do what’s best for him.” Swallowing hard, he opened his mouth to speak again, “He felt for Teresa — Mrs. Martinez. He told me that even if it was only for one day — that one day of freedom would make up for all the time they’ve spent in here. She said the same thing right?”

She winced slightly at Teresa’s name, but she nodded, “She did.”

“I’ve been holding him hostage in this damn wing for nothing.” He croaked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Jordynne shook her head, “It hasn’t been for nothing.”

“It was inevitable. I just delayed it by a few months.”

“Naveen was the spark for a lot of things happening these last few months. Don’t — Don’t regret that.”

Ethan bit his lip as his blue eyes met hers. She was right. If Naveen hadn’t gotten sick where would they be? It was such a catalyst for everything — sharing that secret.

“Are you ready to tell him?” She asked gently.

He sighed, “As ready as I can be.”

Taking a step back, he hesitated for a moment. “Would you mind... coming with me?” He asked, his voice low and quiet.

“Me?” She seemed surprised.

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but... Naveen likes you. And... I don’t want to do this on my own.” I need you. He finished the sentence in his head.

He watched her take a sharp breath, “Of course, Ethan. Anything.”

She followed him through the new wing, towards Naveen’s room. Falling into pace with him like usual — shoulder to shoulder.

Ethan stopped in front of Naveen’s room — the light from inside pouring out into the dim hallway. As he stood motionless, he felt Jordynne slip her fingers into his hand.

He swore she could read his mind at times.

He gripped them — using her as root, to keep him in place for a moment.

“I wish I could say something to make this easier for you.” She said softly, her thumb stroking his fingers.

A sad smile spread across his face as he met her eye, “You’re here. That makes it as easy as it’s going to get.”

Letting go of her hand was incredibly hard. Harder than he imagined it would be. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and stepped into the room.

It was just as white and sterile as always. Naveen was laying in the bed, the sheets folded carefully over him and his glasses sitting on his stomach next to his folded hands. At the sound of them entering, the old man put the glasses on and mustered a smile.

“Ah, my favourite and only—“ Naveen let out a hack, “Only companions! What can I provide today? More blood?” He coughed again, “Or perhaps its urine today?”

“Naveen.” That’s all he could muster out. Ethan’s throat tightened.

The old man looked between the two of them, his smile fading. “Ah... he can’t stop this, can he?”

“The new treatment didn’t hold.” Jordynne spoke up, stepping to the hold onto the railings at the edge of the bed, “Your organs are failing.” If she wasn’t diagnosing one of the most important people in his life as terminal he would have been proud. She really was a great doctor.

“I tried everything, Naveen.” Ethan finally admitted.

“I know you did, Ethan. Marvelous, isn’t it? After all this time, life still had a mystery the two of us couldn’t solve.” A half-hearted smile spread across his face.  “Well then, how long do I have?” He was interrupted by more hacking coughs.

“A month.” Ethan croaked. “At best.”

The old man’s brow furrowed for a moment as he thought. Then he stood up out of his bed and leaned over to grab the clothes folded neatly beside him.

They watched in silence as he got dressed. But Ethan grabbed his vest before he could, holding it back from him. “Please... stay here.” He begged, “Let the other doctors examine you. Maybe they’ll see something I missed —“

“You never miss anything, Ethan.” He interrupted.

Anger flared through him, “Don’t you get it?! If you leave—“

But Naveen interrupted him again, grabbing into Ethan’s wrist gently, “If I leave, I’ll have a beautiful home on the river I’ve never spent more than 5 hours at a time in. Now, I finally get to spend a whole month there. If I die in the middle of a good book, or fishing, or painting, I’ll consider it an excellent way to go.”

He moved his hand forward, silently asking for his vest.

Ethan swallowed hard, his Adam’s able bobbing up and down.

“Wouldn’t you?”

He looked to Jordynne — who had been quiet since giving Naveen the news. His eyes searched hers — looking for the answer again. He could see her eyes welling with tears, how she was chewing her pink lip. She gave him the smallest of nods.

Ethan loosened the tight hold he had on the vest, letting Naveen take it from him. He finished getting ready and for a moment he looked like the normal Naveen. He didn’t look like the small, weak man in the bed anymore.

Naveen turned to Jordynne with a bright smile on his face. “It’s been an honor watching you work, Dr. Holland. You have a very promising career ahead of you. I hope you think of me during it, on the odd occasion.”

A tear rolled down her cheek, and she quickly swiped at it, “Dr. Banerji I’ll think of you all the time. I wish I had longer to learn from you.”

“But at least you had time to learn the most important lesson...” Gently, he ran his knuckle over her forehead with a smile, “No frowning. Your face will get stuck like that.”

A laugh escaped her mouth, and it made Ethan’s ears perk up for a split second. He hadn’t heard that sound in a while. A tender smile grew across his face as he watched them hug.

“That’s better.” Naveen teased, before looking over at the door. “Well then.”

The trio walked in silence down the halls. Jordynne fell in behind them, slowing her steps.

Doctors and nurses greeted Naveen, excited to see him in the hospital once again.

“Ah, yes, just a visit. A trip down memory lane!”

As they approached the doors leading outside, Ethan felt his throat closing up. He didn’t want to do this. He couldn’t do this. What was he supposed to just say goodbye?

Ethan coughed as they all stopped outside. He held out his hand to Naveen. “Well, I suppose this is —“

Naveen scoffed, pushing away his extended hand and wrapping him in a hug. Ethan let out a breath, before wrapping his arm around the old man — squeezing him back. His eyes twisted shut hard, trying to keep the tears at bay.

“Take care, Ethan. Live well.”

“I will.”

As he pulled out of the embrace, Ethan caught the wink he flashed to Jordynne. “Keep an eye on him for me, Jordynne.”

“Yes, Doctor.”

The pair watched as he waved down a cab, and they watched the yellow car disappear from sight. Once again. Gone.

“Did I do the right thing, Jordynne?”

“You did what you had to, for your friend.”

He looked down at her intently — “I hope you’re right.”

Their arms wrapped around each other, Jordynne pulling him into her tightly. He leaned into her — wrapping his hands around her waist, putting some of his weight into her.

Ethan looked down at her face — her big green eyes filled with worry, her freckled nose crinkled. The few blonde fly-aways already falling out of her ponytail, framing her face.

He wished he could be what she needed right now. He wished he could give her what she wanted.

But he wasn’t the doctor she thought he was. Hell, he wasn’t the man she thought he was. He wasn’t sure what it was about the Dr. Ramsey she saw him as. But whatever made this striking woman fall for him — but he didn’t actually have it.  

There were so many things he wanted to say. But he didn’t know how.

It will be better this way. Lonelier — but better. She deserved better. The hospital, the patients — they deserved better.

As his mind was wheeling, Jordynne fluttered her eyes closed and pressed her soft pink lips to his. He let himself relish in the moment — taking her bottom lip into his. People could be watching — patients, co-workers, hell probably Harper. But he didn’t know when he’d do this again — hell if he would be able to do it again. So he did his best to memorize the way she tasted, the feeling of her fingers knotting into the front of his lab coat. The salty taste of tears entered his mouth, and he realized he was crying.

Moving his mouth, he kissed the corner of her mouth, her chin before pressing soft kisses to her soft, tan neck. He lingered there — burying his face into the crook of her neck, inhaling her vanilla scent, feeling the thrumming of her pulse.

“I’m so sorry, Ethan,” Jordynne whispered into his ear, her lips brushed the sensitive skin before playing a quick peck there.

Realizing he couldn’t keep her there forever, he moved out of her arms — coughing slightly as he attempted to regain composure. “Thank you for helping me do this.”

“No thanks necessary. I care about you, Ethan.”

His heart squeezed, his eyes softening as he took her in again, “I know.” His fingers brushed hers as he reached out — just one more time.

She chewed her lip,  “So what now? Do we just go back to our patients like nothing happened?”

He let out a loud breath through his nose, “No. We don’t.” Grinding his back molars, Ethan mustered all he could and marched back into the hospital. Jordynne quickly followed — both of them walking side by side.

Harper saw them the second they walked in, and Ethan noticed her eyes. She looked the pair of them up and down, her eyebrows raising in surprise.

He was going to do it right now then.

“Ethan!” She walked over to them, the click of her heels echoing in the atrium, “Someone just told me they saw Naveen outside? Is he coming back to work?”

“No. He’s gone...” Ethan’s voice cracked. “And so am I.” Digging into his front pocket, he unclipped his ID badge and forced it into Harper’s hands. “I’m done.”

Harper’s eyes went wide, confusion crossing her face as she looked down at the piece of plastic in her hands. She stared at it in stunned silence.

Jordynne however, did not stay silent. “What? You’re quitting?” Her pink mouth was open in shock, her hand reaching out to grab onto him.

He moved his arm out of the way slightly, avoiding her touch as he started for the front doors. The blonde moved in front him — trying to block his exit.

“Wait! You can’t just leave.” She begged, putting her hand out.

“Let me through.” He said quietly, avoiding her eyes.

“But people need you... I need you.” She grabbed onto his hand, her eyes pleading, “Ethan, I need you.”

Fresh tears formed again — his blue eyes rimmed red from all the crying. He shook his head pathetically. “I’m not the doctor you thought I was. It’s time we both accepted that.” Pulling his hand free, Ethan turned on his side and slipped past her.

Ethan’s breath quickened as he walked away from the hospital — his heart pounding in his ears, his chest tightening.

“Ethan!” A voice called out, still heard over the pedestrians and traffic outside. “Ethan!”

Don’t look back.

He started weaving through the crowd of people, getting lost in the many pedestrians until he knew he would be too far — lost amongst the people. Ducking his head, he wiped at the tears stuck on his cheek.

As he walked away from everything he knew, his hands started trembling. Shoving them in his pockets, his eyes searched around him for a familiar store.

Ducking inside, the bell in the liquor store dinged to announce his presence. It had just opened and the cashier gave him a sad smile as he watched him step in at ten in the morning.

Swallowing hard, Ethan asked gruffly, “Scotch?”

The employee shuffled over to some shelves, pointing out a few selections.

Ethan’s stormy eyes stared at the bottles — he needed to cope somehow. There wasn’t any at home — he had finished that after his night with Jordynne.

He was feeling everything right now. It was too much. He just needed to be numb. “Yeah, I’m going to need a case of those.” He pointed to the amber bottles, before pulling out his black credit card.

_______________________________________________________________________

Walking down the white, sterile hallway Jordynne felt numb. He was just gone. Just like that.

Her mind reeled with things she could have said — things she could have done differently.

She had wanted to keep following him down that sidewalk. She had tried — calling after him. But as she watched him stalk away, Chief Emery had called out after her — asking if she was going to quit on her too. It had taken everything in her to remain composed — to not burst out crying in front of her.

Now, Jordynne wasn’t sure why she didn’t quit. Why she didn’t join him — tossing away the plastic ID that was consuming her life. It would be easier.

How was she supposed to do this? How was she supposed to be a good doctor right now?

Lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t notice him in time and bumped into Bryce turning the corner.

“Whoa!” He said, grabbing onto her shoulder with his strong hands, steadying her. His face fell as he looked at her, “Jordynne, are you ok?”

Her chin trembled as she looked up at him, doing her best to keep water forming in her eyes, “No.” She chewed her pink lip, looking down at the floor.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, his hand giving her a reassuring squeeze.

“Not here.”

Bryce led her into the on-call room, not bothering to switch on the lights as he directed her to the bottom bunk of one of the beds. Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, he pulled her into him. They sat there for a moment in silence — Bryce waiting for Jordynne to speak.

“I can’t stop thinking about...” Her voice cracked, “About everything. Poor Mrs. Martinez and the investigation into her death... Wondering if I’ll still have a career at the end of the week... Wondering if I even deserve one.” She bowed her head as she kept rattling off the things plaguing her mind, the tightness in her chest increasing, “My first patient Annie, and Dolores, and that cop who did in OR, and my oncology referral, and Dr. Banerji’s diagnosis, Dr. Ramsey quitting the hospital, being sabotaged at every turn, and now this sweet, sick kid I can’t diagnose.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks, “I feel like everything is crashing around me.”

Bryce tenderly moved a piece of her blonde hair out of her eyes, before using his knuckle to wipe away a few tears, “Why didn’t you say anything?” He asked softly.

“Because good doctors can handle whatever’s thrown at them. And I really want to be a good doctor.” She knitted her fingers together into a knot on her lap — doing her best to keep her breathing normal.

“You’re already a good doctor. Hell, you’re the best medical intern in the hospital.”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you qualified that to just the medical interns.”

He flashed her a cheeky smile that made her heart squeeze, “To be honest, you’re better than most of the surgical interns, too.”

Jordynne let out a sigh and leaned her head onto his muscular shoulder. “I don’t know if I can keep doing this. It’s all too much. If Ethan Ramsey quit, what chance do I have?”

“Hey. You can do this.” He squeezed her leg, dipping his head so he could look at her. Jordynne finally looked up at him — his brown eyes were dark and intense. “It’s wild to me that you don’t realize how great you are.” He reaches out, his fingers grabbing onto her chin.

“Bryce...”

Before she could say anything else, he dipped his face towards her and pressed a soft kiss on her mouth.

Jordynne’s breath hitched at the feeling — it had been a few weeks since they had kissed. In the chaos of her life, she had let him take the back burner. And she was confused. And afraid.

He pulled her closer, turning the kiss urgent — his arms winding tightly around her. Her hands went into his hair — letting go for a moment as his tongue found hers in the dark on-call room, their bodies pressing into each other.

When she tasted the salty water of her tears in her mouth she was reminded of just a few hours ago. The kiss she outside with Ethan — how different it was. How raw and deep her kiss with Ethan was. Everything it made her feel.

What was she doing?

Putting her hands on Bryce’s chest, she pulled away, “I — I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” She whispered, fresh tears forming again.

“Don’t be sorry.” He whispered back, maneuvering them back so they were sitting on the bed. “I just miss you.” He said, a sad smile spreading across his face.

“Yeah, me too.” She pulled her knees up into her chest, hugging them tightly to her body.

They sat there in silence once more, before Bryce’s honeyed voice broke it.

“You like him, don’t you?“

Her breath stopped. “What?”

“Ramsey? You like him, don’t you?” He moved his tan face, his eyes studying her.

“I don’t want to.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

She watched his Adam’s apple move as he swallowed, “But you do?”

“I do.” A hot tear flashed across her face, and she wiped at it with the back of her hand, “Bryce, I’m really sorry.”

His eyebrows furrowed a little, “What are you apologizing for?”

“You don’t deserve any of this. You deserve so much better than this.” Jordynne hiccuped.

“Hey, I knew what we agreed too. We said no strings.” He shrugged, before looking back at her. His brown eyes crinkled a little.

“Yeah, and instead I twisted us up into knots.”

He gave her a sad smile, using his thumb to wipe her tear away again.

“I don’t know what happens now.” She said quietly, her voice gruff from all of the crying.

“Me neither.” He let out a breathy laugh. “But — you’re my best friend in here Jordy. Nothing will change that.”

Jordynne couldn’t think of anything to say, and instead wrapped her arms around his midsection, her head laying on his lap as she hugged sitting down. “You’re too good for this world, Bryce Lahela.” She finally croaked. “You’re my best friend too.”  Her eyes fluttered closed as she felt him lean over and kiss her blonde hair.

Next Chapter: Part Sixteen

[alleiradayne]

Secret Agent Man

Summary: Sam and Natalie reunite in The Continental Hotel. Square Filled: Spy AU Warnings/Tags: Lotsa floofs, some sexiness Characters/Pairings: Sam Winchester/Natalie Murphy Word Count: 1,616 A/N:  For @spnfluffbingo2019. Think John Wick, Sam and Natalie are spies/hitmen that have worked together for years. They’ve also competed for contracts, but always managed to leave things quite amorous between one another. Song: Secret Agent Man by Johnny Rivers

The speakeasy; alcohol at cost, ornate furniture, hazy air, and a wait staff available for your every vice. The Continental Hotel cut no corners. Nor should it. Not for the price paid by its clientele. If you needed to go into hiding for a week, the Continental had you covered. If you needed to blow off some steam—either by kicking the shit out of someone or fucking your brains out—the Continental had people at your disposal. If you were like Natalie Murphy, and all you needed was a stiff drink and some goddamn peace and quiet, they had the best liquor money could buy and nobody would bother you. And, so, Natalie sat in her wing-back leather chair, keen to be left alone as she drowned her last job in a sea of brown liquor. No negotiations. No meetings. No interruptions.

“Mind if I join you?”

Okay. Maybe one interruption. For his baritone, she could make an exception.

“That depends, Mr. Winchester. What do you—”

The heavy glass tumbler of scotch thumped to the table as Sam Winchester leaned over her shoulder. “You look ravishing, as always.” A tender kiss met her cheek and lingered before he parted from her.

If you wanted honest compliments, hours of conversation, long legs, hazel eyes, dimples for days, and sex you'd feel a week later, you called Sam Winchester. Not to mention he knew his way around a sniper rifle.

“Why, thank you, Sam. Good to see you in one piece, as always,” Natalie chimed. “What brings you back around, sweetheart?”

Sam rounded the tiny coffee table and took up a seat on a mismatched chaise, left elbow propped on the arm as he leaned towards her. The small lounge droned with hushed conversation and subtle music, and golden lamplight illuminated the gorgeous smile on his lips. Trim grey suit hugged his broad shoulders, narrowed at his hips, and elongated his already long legs. Despite the awkward seating, Sam sat regal as a king on the chaise, legs crossed, broad shoulders pulled back, and spine strait as an arrow.

Natalie consumed him, head to toe and back again when he remained silent. His devious grin warmed her belly much like her scotch, smooth as she swallowed it down her throat. She had missed something. Narrowed eyes and a sideways glare scrutinized his inquisitive smirk, but she found nothing in his soft gaze. Then her eyes snapped to his feet and there she found an obnoxious pair of ornate black brogues.

“Sam,” she sighed. “Really?”

“You know how I hate to ask,” he muttered into his drink. “Be a doll and give me a hand?”

Natalie leaned over the arm of her chair, her face inches from his. “What's in it for me?”

“The usual,” Sam started with a coy smirk, “money, revenge, networking, the chance to work with me again.”

She pouted, her bottom lip stuck out as she teased him. “I can get those things anywhere. And what makes you think I like working with you?”

Callused fingers curled her hair behind her ear, and Natalie gathered all her willpower not to react. “I recall a number of nights involving extra-curricular activities after completing a hit. I could refresh your memory if you join in my room tonight,” he said as his gaze fell to her lips for a heartbeat, then returned to her eyes. “We can go over the logistics of this mark, too.”

Nobody had a right to smile the way Sam Winchester smiled at her. “Logistics,” she breathed. “Right. Already got a plan?”

Sam nodded. “Almost. Needs another set of eyes on it before I'm comfortable.”

Despite her best effort, Natalie grinned. “Alright, Mr. Winchester. I think I can accommodate you.”

His pleased hum sang like the sweetest music. “Excellent. It will be quite thrilling to work with you again. You are the consummate marksman.”

Natalie snorted into her drink. “Now you're just trying to butter me up. I already said I'd help you.”

“No, Ms. Murphy,” he said as his hand enveloped hers. “I mean it. You are always a pleasure to work with. Discrete, efficient, and a master of the craft. I came to you first not only because I know you would get the job done, but because I thoroughly love working with you.”

Oh, he was laying it on thick. Either he desperately needed her help, or he desperately wanted to get laid. “You’re not too bad yourself.” Natalie said, “I kinda miss having you around. You know, to lift things.”

Sam smiled at that as his eyes listed to his feet. “I can lift a great many things, that is true. Like bodies. I am particularly gifted at lifting bodies,” he said as he teased the back of her hand with delicate fingertips. “Conscious, consenting bodies, that is.”

Natalie thanked the poor lighting of the lounge, lest Sam see the pink hue across her cheeks. She had missed working with him for several reasons. Sure, sign her up for all the delicious sex the Continental offered. But Sam Winchester offer much more than a steady gun on her six, or a post-mark coital playmate.

“What are you thinking about?”

“You,” she stated. “Why do you come to me for help? There are better spies out there.”

Sam’s raptor-like glare sharpened to a point between his knotted brow. “I disagree. As I said, you are a professional, and I love watching you work in all facets of the job. A job that seems to have included seducing me.”

A distraction, she needed a distraction immediately, before her read her like an open book. She threw back her head as she finished the dredges of her original drink, then hefted the glass Sam had place before her. With a short sip, the liquor coated her tongue and warmed her throat. Her eyes widened as the flavors settled; subtle smoke, sweet, with a hint of sherry. A deep breath finalized the succulent sample in a rich flourish of oak.

“You did not.”

Sam held out his hand and, as if summoned with magic, a large dark brown bottle of Bowmore manifested in the hands of a server. “I did.” He motioned to the server who then handed her the bottle.

With great care, Natalie cradled the bottle as she examined it. “I owe you. That’s not a cheap pour.”

“Neither is the bottle,” he started as he leaned to her and spoke, voice barely above a whisper. “Besides, there is something else of yours I would rather have than the money I spent.”

Her eyes snapped to his, only then to notice the server had left them. Alone. With a thirty-thousand-dollar bottle of Scotch. Between him and the bottle, Natalie struggled with where to look.

“Consider it a wedding gift.”

She couldn’t help herself. “You know, usually people date for a while before they get married. And one person actually asks the other if they even want to.”

Sam smiled as he grasped the neck of the bottle. With his eyes still on hers, he said, “I suppose I can drink this by my—”

“You will not, Samuel Winchester,” Natalie hissed as she snatched the bottle from him.

“So, is that a ye—”

Her lips landed on his without a single thought. Fuck the future. Fuck the job. Fuck everything in their wretched little world. The only thing that mattered to her at that moment was that Sam Winchester loved her like she had always loved him.

When Natalie parted from him, Sam laughed a breath through his nose. “So, about that job…”

Natalie stood with a huff as she grabbed her bag and her drink, the bottle cradled in the crook of her arm. Sam had remained seated, unmoving but for the curious quirk of his head. “Do you want my help or not?”

Hands on his knees, he stood, then wrapped an arm around her shoulders as he stepped beside her. “Thank you, Natalie.”

“Don’t thank me quite yet,” she warned as they headed for the elevator. “I have no idea what kind of mess you’ve roped me into.”

“Your favorite kind of mess,” Sam teased. “We need a honeypot.”

At the elevator, Natalie punched the call button. “That’s worse than get help.”

“Not for me, it isn’t,” Sam laughed as they entered the elevator. He thumbed the button for the twentieth floor and the doors closed.

“Right,” Natalie stated with a flat glare as the elevator shuttered into motion. “You do nothing but watch me work.”

“Exactly.”

Wicked man. They rode the elevator in silence, but when they reached the twentieth floor, her curiosity got the better of her. “Why is that so entertaining to you?”

Through the hallways, Sam led them to his room. With a wave of his hand, the handle clicked, and he pushed the door wide. Once inside, Natalie unburdened herself, scotch set on the bar and her bag left on an overstuffed chair. “Are you going to answer my question or--”

As she turned to him, Sam loosened his tie and stripped it from his neck. With measured steps, he neared her as he said, “I enjoy watching you seduce bumbling fools because I know that, at the end of the day, I will be the one that takes care of you.” Over her head, he looped his tie and wrapped it around her waist, then pulled her flush to his chest. “What do you say? Still want to give me a hand?”

A small smile crooked the corners of her lips. “On one condition.”

“Anything for you, Natalie.”

She had hoped he might say that.

“After this, we have a real wedding.”

Tags: @atc74 @hannahindie @bevans87 @meganwinchester1999 @plaided-ani-on-hiatus @oneshoeshort @jonogueira @andkatiethings @elfinmox@wonderfulworldofwinchester @princessofthefandomrealm @just-another-busyfangirl @jmekitchens @81mysteriouslyme @dolphincliffs

Reblogs and feedback are awesome. If you want in on the tags, send me an ask or a DM!

ALLEIRADAYNE’S SPN FLUFF BINGO

ALLEIRADAYNE’S SPN MASTER LIST

[paradisobound]

I Want It, I Got It: Chapter 5

Summary: Phil Lester was a worker for the BBC in London. Working in the advertising department, he was content being alongside his friend and fellow coworker PJ during every shift. However, the BBC is temporarily being used as a film set for a new movie staring Hollywood ‘It’ star, Daniel Howell. Being stuck as an extra on the set, Phil finds it’s hard to ignore the famous star. And maybe, just maybe, Dan finds it hard to ignore Phil as well.

Word Count:  2k (this chapter)

Warnings: Occasional swearing

Rating: Mature (for right now)

Updates will be every Wednesday and every Sunday

**MASTERLIST | READ ON AO3**

“Aren’t you the least bit nervous?” PJ commented the next day as they walked with Spike in the local park near Phil’s flat.

Dinner the night before had mostly consisted of both Sophie and PJ telling Phil about where he should take Dan around London and so he came up with a comprehensive list saved on his phone. But he still had many worries fueling his brain.

Like what if this was all a mistake? Daniel was a famous celebrities and surely he really didn’t want some pleb like Phil taking him around London. But on top of that, won’t people see them? Won’t this cause some big news scene?

He didn’t really want to do that.

There was a lot of weight on this line and he had to admit that it made him slightly nervous.

“No,” Phil answers eventually, “I am. I’m incredibly nervous.”

“Have you two messaged since last night?”

Phil shook his head. He hadn’t even replied to Daniel last night after he had messaged him last night. He probably should have. He internally winced. Did he already fuck this all up because he didn’t reply to him? He hoped not.

“You’re over thinking already.” PJ commented just as Spike tugged at his leash and Phil looked to see what the pup was doing. He just saw a squirrel and was hoping to chase it but he held the little guy back.

“Well, I didn’t reply back to him. Do you think I could have messed his up already?”

Pj stopped on the path and turned to him, hands in his coat pocket. “You’re really asking me this, Phil? Less than a week ago, you were telling Gemma off about fantasizing about the hunky lad and now look at you. You’re head over heels for the bloke.”

“I’m not head over heels for him.”

Pj cocked his eyebrow. “Really? You’re really saying that right now?”

Phil blushed and continued moving in the direction Spike was pulling him. “Well, he’s seems not to be a bad guy.”

“So you take back what you said before about him being pretentious and rude?”

Phil scoffed. “Well no. I don’t even know him yet.”

“But you know he’s not, though? Or else he wouldn’t have already slid into your dm’s.”

“He didn’t slide into my dm’s.” Phil laughed. “He just messaged me asking for a favor.”

“Oh, and I’m sure that’s what Nick Jonas did with Priyanka Chopra as well.”

“Shut up.” Phil laughed, hitting PJ gently on the side. “This is all a bit ridiculous, isn’t it? Like this feels like we’ve entered an alternate timeline―a whole new dimension.”

“Maybe we did.” PJ commented with a shrug. “But Spike over there is doing his business and I’m sure that we can’t launch that into another dimension.”

Phil rolled his eyes and walked over to Spike, pulling the bags out of his pocket.

Maybe they did fall into a wormhole and enter a new timeline. It sure did feel like it.

He, PJ, and Spike all left the park a short time later. PJ said he was heading back to his flat for the afternoon to work on a BBC assignment he was behind on and Phil figured he might as well get a jumpstart on his next one as well. The BBC had made it clear in yet another email this morning that Phil was not off the hook despite having to reappear to the building.

When he got back to his flat, he let Spike off from his leash and allowed for him to run off to his bed to sleep. He then set down with his laptop on his couch and opened up Illustrator to begin his next assignment. He was to create a new promo poster for the BBC radio one show and since he particularly liked that show, he really wanted to put time into it.

He slowly began to piece together shapes and colors when his phone vibrated against his side and he picked it up out of instinct. On his screen, he had a new Instagram message again. Without even unlocking his phone, he knew already they were from Daniel.

danielhowell: hello its me again! My manager gave me the go ahead to go out in London next Tuesday so are you free then? My bodyguard Joshua will be with us but i promise he’s a soft teddy bear.

danielhowell: I know i said this already but i do appreciate it! I like being able to go out and do normal things but its hard, ya know?

amazingphil: It’s no problem! I don’t mind showing you around London. There is a lot we can do.

danielhowell: I hear! I hope you don’t mind that we’re probs going to be bombarded by people all day. I feel like I should apologize for that in advance...but it kind of comes with the package―me.

danielhowell; that last part wasn’t as funny as i was expecting it to be. I’m sorry lol

Phil had to admit that he snickered. But he still was in complete disbelief that he was messaging back and forth with Daniel Howell.

amazingphil: I kind of figured. I saw some of the speculation on Twitter already.

danielhowell: Ugh I’m sorry. My fans are always speculating about me. It sucks but there is not much i can really do. I’m glad for them and i appreciate them because i wouldn’t be here without them but they can be a pain.

danielhowell: that being said i can tell them to leave you be? I mean, they probably wont listen but it is worth a little bit of a shot?

Phil bit his lip. He couldn’t ask that of Daniel already when there is nothing between them. They’re just talking about London and about Phil showing him around London. That’s all.

amazingphil: I couldn’t ask that of you. They’re not bothering me directly.

danielhowell: well if they ever do, please let me know!

danielhowell: I really mean it. They can be...a lot.

amazingphil: I’m sure i can handle them if need be.

danielhowell: okay mate but don’t say i didn’t warn you

danielhowell: oh, by the way, can we meet somewhere discreet? I want to keep my day as low key as possible and i don’t want fans to follow me to meet you. Do you have any suggestions?

Here was the thing. Phil didn’t know of many locations where any meeting or any sort was going to be discreet. Everything was pretty much out in the open around London unless you were in one of the back alleys where you could be shanked.

amazingphil: sorry, not really. We could meet at the BBC early on? I have a pass to get in so we can meet in there first?

danielhowell: okay. Fingers crossed I don’t get plowed over by fans before then.

amazingphil: #prayfordaniel

#prayfordaniel?? Phil inwardly groaned and covered his face in shame. That was the dumbest thing he could have sent someone like Daniel and now he’d sent it and Dan’s already read it.

He covers his eyes when his phone vibrates again for another message.

danielhowell: not sure that’ll work but it might worry the shit out of my fans lol

Phil found himself smiling really wide. This was nice. In a way, it almost felt like he might have a budding friendship with Daniel. Of course that was probably super silly but there was some place deep inside of himself that gave him hope.

Dan’s next message widened that place.

danielhowell: can i just say another thank you for treating me like a human? I’ve tried talking to other people before and they all freak out or begin to obsessively fangirl and ngl, it gets tiring. really tiring. So i really appreciate this, Phil. it means a lot.

amazingphil: of course, Dan. Why would i treat you any differently?

danielhowell: :)

They stopped messaging not long after which made Phil feel a tad bit sad but he had a feeling this wasn’t going to be the last time he and Dan talk before Tuesday.

He worked on a big portion of the BBC radio one advertisement and then he put his laptop on the charger to take Spike out for the bathroom and then order dinner from the local Domino’s.

By that evening, Phil had settled into bed in a peaceful food coma and was scrolling through his social media feeds again. Dan had posted some tweets in replies to some fans and he wasn’t trending anymore despite trending the entire week for filming and being on set.

But as he went through all of Dan’s tweets, he realized that he actually didn’t know hardly anything about Dan and he should probably look up some information before he meets him and makes a complete fool of himself.

He googles Dan’s name and unsurprisingly, his name comes up automatically with a ton of tabloid reports.

Daniel Howell’s new beau??

Daniel Howell on set in London! Catch the behind the scenes.

Is Daniel Howell filming in London? We have the inside scoop.

Phil found them all laughable and all totally exactly what tabloid magazines do.

He clicked on Dan’s Wikipedia page and decided to skim through it.

“Daniel James Howell, formally known as just Daniel “Dan” Howell, is a Hollywood actor, two time Oscar winner, and four time Emmy Award winner. Howell is best known for his portrayal as Romeo in the 2014 remake of the classic Shakespearean play Romeo and Juliet alongside Jennifer Douglas which earned him his two Emmy’s. His career took off after his role was heavily accepted by critics across all boards, some even naming him the newest A-List star in Hollwood. Since 2014, Howell has worked starred in many new movies such as “One for the Road”, a coming of age story about a group of teenagers in America which earned his first Oscar, and “The Year of Us”, the star studded adaptation of the widely acclaimed novel by Stephanie Barry, which earned him his second Oscar.”

Phil finished that section and sat back. Wow. So Dan has been a popular celebrity for a while. He knew that. He remember how everyone hyped his role for Romeo and Juliet, calling him the next best Romeo after Leo DiCaprio.

But he honestly never paid any other attention to who Dan was or how he gained his stardom so fast.

“Personal Life: Daniel Howell was born on June 11th, 1991 in the small town of Wokingham in the United Kingdom to parents Karen and Joseph Howell. He has a younger brother named Adrian who is a popular YouTuber influencer. Howell began his acting career at just the age of five when he was casted in a production of Les Miserables in his community. After his success in acting, over the course of his youth, his family moved to Los Angeles, California, in hopes of him to gain stardom. Howell starred in his first Hollywood film at the age of 16 but would not become known for his roles until the age of 23.”

Phil thought back to what he was doing at twenty three. Definitely not gaining any stardom, that’s for sure. He was just sitting in Manchester, trying to make ends meet with a crappy job at Starbucks.

“In June of 2014, one year after gaining his fame, Howell announced his battles with anxiety and depression in hopes to become an ambassador for his younger fans. He is an advocate for mental health and the ability for everyone out there to have access to a health care system that will help anyone who is struggling like he was.

In September of 2017, Howell announced that he was bisexual and dating fellow costar Kellen Queen. After less than a year of dating, Howell and Queen announced on social media that they were no longer together. Howell has not been reported to have dated since but Queen is now dating his fellow “Timeless” co-star Helen O’Reilly.”

Phil sat back and processed the information. If he thought back to it, he could vaguely recall the entire break up happening. He remembers the tabloids and the social media frenzy but he never kept up with celebrity news enough to really know what was going on.

But to see where Daniel had come out as bisexual was a lot. Mostly because Phil himself was gay. He tended to keep his romantic life quiet but for some reason, he kind of hoped that Dan would ask him about his sexual orientation so they can have something to talk about.

There was one thing Phil didn’t mind and that was openly talking about his attraction to other men.

He closed out of Wikipedia, deciding he had read enough, and shut off his light. Spike has crawled in beside him sometime while he was reading on wikipedia and now he was curled in his side.

He fell asleep relatively fast, dreaming about Tuesday with Daniel.

[thevezinamonologues-blog]

Three and Time to Spend with You

Prompt: Hilary Knight and Freddie Andersen Threesome For: the sin bin gc Warnings & Tags: NSFW, Threesome, Oral, Cockwarming, Face-sitting, IDK LOTS OF THINGS.... also I moved Hilary back to the NWHL and put the ASG in Toronto for purposes of this fic whatever let me live Word Count: 3505

It started with Instagram.

You hadn’t thought anything of it, posting to your story about how excited you were to go to the NWHL All Star Weekend. You’d saved up for months, treated yourself to a nice hotel room, and you were all ready and dolled up, wearing your Hilary Knight jersey and a backwards cap with a bi pride flag on it. You’d managed to get a picture of your back and posted it to your insta story. You location-tagged your hotel (it was fancy, you were a little proud that you’d saved up enough to treat yourself there) and you only hesitated a moment before deciding to tag Hilary herself in it, too. You hadn’t expected a response, you hadn’t even really expected her to see it. And if she did, it was just so she knew she had some support there coming from you.

Ten minutes later as you brushed your teeth, your phone pinged with a notification.

Lookin good! 😍 🙌

At first, you thought it was from your friends, but then you saw the username and nearly dropped your phone in the bathroom sink.

Hilary. Knight.

Holyshit.

You eventually got your shit together, but you were still too afraid to answer, so you just let it be. Until later when you got to the rink to watch the skills competition. You were right at the glass from the get-go, taking as many pictures on your phone as you could. At one point, Hilary skated right past you, no helmet on, grinning wildly. You got an incredible close-up. She looked so happy, so free, so beautiful.

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you opened your Insta DMs and sent the pic to Hilary with the exact same thing she’d sent you earlier.

Lookin good! 😍 🙌

You settled in to watch the skills competition and nearly forgot about the message until you got back to your hotel afterwards. The all-star game itself wasn’t until the next day and you had some time to kill, wondering if you should grab dinner or something. You opened up UberEats when a notification came through on your phone.

Hilary Knight followed you on Instagram.

You were still staring at the phone in your hands with complete shock when a second notification came through. Another DM. From her.

Great pic 😉

You clicked the notification and just stared at the message for a while as a second one came through.

Looks like we’re staying in the same hotel. I’m meeting a friend for drinks and we’re grabbing dinner at the hotel restaurant after. You want to join?

You blinked a few times as a third came through. Then more.

Nothing funny or anything (I mean you’re gorgeous but I don’t want to assume that bi = you’re into threesomes because fuck that’s annoying, right?)

But also if you want to, I sure wouldn’t say no.

He probably wouldn’t either.

But no pressure, seriously.

Love to buy you dinner, though. At least as a thanks for taking that dope pic (can I post that btw?)

Ok now that I’ve sent you like 30 messages I’m just gonna let you do your thing here 👉👉

It took you the better part of a minute to get over the shock and answer.

Yes. To all of it. Yes to posting the picture, yes to dinner or drinks, and maybe yes to other things?

Your answer came back immediately.

👍 Meet you at the bar at the restaurant in 30?

You sent a thumbs up emoji back. Then, after a little debate, you followed up with your phone number. Just in case.

You took a quick shower, shaving and exfoliating as much as you could in the limited time you had. You toweled off and checked your phone to find a text from a new number.

It’s Hilary. From Instagram. Looking forward to seeing you tonight, Y/N 😄

You didn’t pack all that much with you, but you managed to find a yellow cotton dress that looked cute and was comfortable. You’d planned on wearing it on your drive home so you didn’t have to bother with jeans, but it was your cutest option at the moment. You put on some makeup and a little product in your damp hair to make sure it didn’t get too frizzy and declared yourself the best you could get with your limited resources. You sent off a quick text to Hilary.

On my way 😃

You got down to the bar, looking for Hilary and her friend. You saw her long hair and approached slowly, only pausing when you saw who her friend was.

“A buddy” turned out to be Freddie fucking Andersen.

And he looked just as good as Hilary did.

Jesus, you weren’t sure you’d survive this dinner.

You did survive the dinner. Hilary was warm and engaging. Freddie had introduced himself to you quietly, but eventually, he was just as welcoming as Hilary. You weren’t great at social situations with new people normally, but talking with them was easy. Hilary’s bright enthusiasm and Freddie’s dry humour meshed perfectly and had you feeling completely at ease. You weren’t sure if the aforementioned “other things” were still on the table. You would be absolutely down if they were, but even if they weren’t, you enjoyed dinner and thought you may have found one, or even two new friends.

The three of you split a giant chocolate lava cake, crowded together in the half-circle booth. You giggled to yourself as Hilary took a piece right off of Freddie’s spoon and Freddie gasped in mock-shock.

You leaned forward to grab a spoonful of the homemade whipped cream and you felt a hand slide across your lower back. You turned toward Hilary, grinning so that the woman didn’t move her hand away. You settled back against her, enjoying the feeling of her thumb sliding back and forth over the soft fabric of your dress. Her hand went higher to settle her arm around your shoulders and you noticed on a quick glance that Freddie seemed to be enjoying you licking the whipped cream off your spoon.

Maybe those Other Things were still on the table, after all.

Hilary leaned close to your ear, your hair tickling your neck as she whispered. “My room? And do we invite Fred?”

Okay. Definitely on the table.

“Yeah,” you breathed, leaning into Hilary. “And yeah.”

Hilary’s room was a few floors up from yours and the elevator ride was humming with unspoken energy. Hilary’s arm was still around your shoulders and Freddie was looking at the two of you as though you were the real dessert.

You looked between them. “Are you two… like… together?”

Freddie shook his head no. “We used to be, but we’re just friends now.”

“Sometimes we meet up when we’re both in the same place,” Hilary added. “But yeah. Just friends, now.”

You blamed your nerves for the lack of brain-to-mouth filter when you spoke next. “Too much gorgeous for one relationship?”

Hilary snorted and turned to press a kiss to your temple. “Something like that, babe,” she said against your hair.

When you got into Hilary’s room, she excused herself to go to the bathroom and you turned to Freddie. He approached you slowly, reaching out toward you but halting his hand.

“Y/N,” he said softly. “You’re definitely okay with this?”

You smiled softly, stepping closer and grabbing his hand to put it on your hip yourself. His large fingers curled into your soft skin as he dipped down to kiss you slow and searching. He was a patient kisser, coaxing your lips open and by the time you pulled apart for air, you weren’t quite sure you remembered how to breathe.

“Jesus, that’s hot,” you heard from behind you. You turned toward Hilary, Freddie’s hand still on your hip.

Where Freddie was a patient, intense kisser, Hilary was indulgent and fiery. She read you instantly, finding what you liked and chasing it down with a firm tenacity. She pulled your lower lip between her teeth before swallowing your resulting whimper in another kiss, deep and bruising enough that it pushed you back into Freddie’s chest.

Freddie’s hands slid around between you and Hilary, hands splaying across your stomach. You weren’t built like either of them, nor were you all that thin. You flinched a little away from his hand, a little self-conscious about the soft skin he found there.

“Stop that,” Freddie said, voice gruff as he moved one hand to pull your hair to one side so Hilary could suck a bruise into your neck. “You’re beautiful, Y/N.”

You felt your cheeks redden, and it only got worse when Hilary nipped at the newly-created hickey before agreeing. “He’s right.”

You weren’t sure what to say. Anything that came to mind was either self-deprecating or just awkward so you opted for letting it go and tugging at Hilary’s blouse until she relented, stepping back just long enough to tug it up and over her head.

Jesus Christ. Her arms. “Just fuck me up,” you thought, only realizing you actually said it out loud when Freddie chuckled and Hilary all-out laughed. She was still grinning when she pulled you into another kiss.

Freddie had moved into your peripheral vision, pulling off his grey henley and undershirt. You lost track of him for a moment as you closed your eyes, one hand sliding up to the soft cotton of Hilary’s bra, tugging one of the cups down to thumb at her nipple. Freddie moved back behind you and you leaned back, using him as a bit of a wall.

Hilary arched into your hand and you repeated it with your other hand, shifting a little so her legs were straddling your thigh. She shifted one of her legs up, Freddie seamlessly grabbing her thigh so she could roll her hips into your thigh. Her lips were pink and puffy and she looked so fucking beautiful.

“Bed?” you asked them both and the three of you reluctantly untangled. Hilary pushed her jeans down, stepping out of them before guiding you to the bed. She’d hiked your dress up over your hips before you sat down. You marveled at her coordination as she pulled your dress over your head while simultaneously settling herself on your lap. Your hands slid up her thighs, feeling her muscles flex beneath your palms. Freddie was standing, silently watching and lazily palming himself through his jeans.

“Fred and I are probably gonna fight over who gets to eat you out, fair warning,” Hilary hummed against your lips and you cut your eyes to Freddie, then back.

“Both?” you grinned as you pulled away, unhooking Hilary’s bra and tossing it aside. “Both is good.”

“I like the way you think,” Hilary laughed. Her laugh quickly turned into a moan as you slid a hand between her legs. You could feel her wet through the cotton of her panties and you shifted a little, tightening your thighs in response to the warm heat that rushed through you.

“Freddie?” you finally asked, reaching out to him. You felt a little bad he was so quiet, just watching for a bit. He seemed fine with it though, but just as happy to step out of his jeans and kneel on the bed, catching your lips again. He started to unhook your bra strap as Hilary worked her lips up his neck. When he finally pulled his lips from yours to catch Hilary’s, you watched, dazed for a moment before finishing what Freddie started and getting your bra out of the way.

They moved seamlessly together and watching them was like watching a secretive, sensual dance and you shivered a little at the idea that you not only got to witness this beauty, but also participate.

Freddie broke the kiss and guided you back to lie in the center of the bed, eyes trailing over your body as he gazed approvingly. “Since I’m a gentleman,” he said, teasing as he smirked at Hilary. “You can taste her first.”

Freddie ignored Hilary’s triumphant grin as he tipped his head to kiss across your collarbone and down your chest between your breasts. You were pretty well-endowed, but you’d never really considered your breasts a huge erogenous zone before. As Freddie’s stubble scraped over your nipple before he flicked his tongue across it, you realized may have been mistaken.

Hilary, meanwhile, was sucking little bruises into the skin of your hips, still teasing around your panties. She nuzzled over your center, still covered by the soft cotton, and breathed you in. You rolled your hips toward her and whined low in your throat.

Freddie swallowed your moan in a kiss as he palmed your breasts, causing you to arch up into him. You felt all lit up, just shy of overwhelmed from the attention you were getting. You needed something to focus on, so you slid your hand into Freddie’s boxer-briefs and wrapped your hand around his semi-hard cock. You stroked lightly, but mostly you just wanted to feel the weight of him in your hand, occasionally thumbing over the slit, spreading drops of precum around the head.

By the time Hilary finally stopped teasing and started working your panties down your legs, Freddie was lazily fucking into your hand while he alternated teasing at your breasts with his mouth and kissing you slow and tender.

Finally, you felt Hilary’s mouth on you. She spread your lips apart with her fingers and licked the flat of her tongue up your slit slow and hard. You whimpered into Freddie’s mouth, eventually breaking the kiss when Hilary’s lips closed around your folds, sucking them into her mouth.

“Please,” you whimpered, not even knowing what you were begging for.

Hilary moved your thighs over her shoulders then zig-zagged her tongue over your clit. Your thighs shivered, feeling the muscles jump without you even trying.

“So beautiful,” Freddie said, sliding a hand down one of your thighs, squeezing, then giving it a little slap and watching it jiggle. You flushed, a little embarrassed but he pinned you with a look.

“I mean it,” he said, moving back up your body to nibble at your jawline. “I wish Hils brought her strap-on. You’d look so good with your legs wrapped around her while she fucks you.”

“Guess you’ll have to do it instead,” you said, your voice breathy as Hilary worked her mouth over your pussy. You felt her chuckle against you as she slid two fingers into you. You arched into it, seeking more until she crooked her fingers up and the pads slid across your G-spot.

“Guess I will,” Freddie agreed, grinning and palming his cock. “Keep it warm until then?”

You nodded and opened your mouth, tongue covering your bottom teeth. He reached up to put a few pillows under your shoulders and head, making sure you were comfortable before sliding his cock into your mouth, just enough so that you didn’t choke. You tasted the salty precum. You closed your mouth over him, suckling lightly, but he shook his head. “Just like this. Is that okay?”

You nodded as much as you could, keeping your mouth still, just letting his cock rest in your mouth. He cupped your cheek in his hand, running his thumb across your cheekbone. “So beautiful,” he breathed. “So good for us. Is Hils making you feel good, darling?”

You hummed your assent against his cock and he grinned, keeping his hand on your cheek and a steady stream of dirty talk that was, quite frankly, doing a lot for you.

Soon enough, Hilary had your thighs shivering around her head as you came hard, your cry muffled by Freddie’s cock. Hilary kissed her way back up your body, and Freddie took his cock out. You had just enough time to suck in a breath before Hilary’s lips captured yours. Freddie’s hand went between your legs, staying away from your still oversensitive clit.

“You want me to fuck you, baby?” he asked, sliding three thick fingers into you. You whimpered and nodded against Hilary’s lips.

You broke the kiss. “Yeah and-” you broke off on a sigh as he slowly slid his fingers in and out.

“And what?” Hilary prompted, passing her hand over your breasts, then down your ribs. “What do you want, babe?”

“I want-” you breathed, trying to gather your thoughts into words and make those words come out of your mouth. It was a lot harder than you thought, but eventually, you choked it out. “Want you to ride my face while- while he fucks me. Want my mouth on you.”

“Fuck,” the word sounded like it’d been punched out of Hilary and she stopped her gentle exploration to reward you with a hard, deep kiss. “Fuck yes, baby. That sounds- yes.”

“Just-” you added quietly, not wanting to disappoint them, but the way they both immediately stopped and listened to you had you relaxing and feeling warm. You turned your gaze to Freddie. “Be a little gentle at first? I get uh… oversensitive for awhile after…”

Freddie nodded and settled between your thighs, dipping to press a kiss to the inside of your knee. “Of course, dove. Of course.”

Freddie hiked you up a little, then slowly, gently, patiently slid into you and you breathed out slowly, feeling the best kind of full. Hilary put her hand on your cheek, guiding you to look at her.

“You ready?” she asked.

You nodded, more than a little desperate to taste her.

“Keep your hands on my thighs and tap if you need me to get up, babe, okay?” she asked and you nodded, nearly making grabby hands for her as she settled over your face.

“Love watching this,” Freddie said, rocking slow and patient in and out of you.

Hilary grabbed onto the headboard and slowly lowered herself onto you. You opened your mouth, flattened out your tongue and let her settle the flat of your tongue exactly where she wanted it. You lapped slow, moving in tandem with Hilary’s gyrating hips. Freddie’s cock felt perfect, just keeping you turned on while you ate Hilary out from under her.

You speared your tongue at her entrance while the tip of your nose brushed her clit and you two kept a slow, steady build up for a while, giving you time to breathe and her time to build up to a good orgasm. You could tell when she got closer because she let her body do the talking for exactly what she wanted. Eventually, she was just grinding her clit down on your outstretched tongue while her thighs shivered beneath your palms. Freddie sped up his thrusts, moving a little faster and a great deal harder as Hilary slowly moved off of you.

After a few moments, you pushed at Freddie’s chest before turning the two of you over so you could ride him.

“Jesus, you look good like this,” Freddie breathed as you started grinding down on him. You started off slow, but you could tell he wanted more. You leaned forward a little, steadying yourself with your hands on his chest, and moved faster. You felt Hilary’s lips on your neck and her hand between your legs, sliding across your clit.

“Fuck I’m gonna…. If you keep doing that, I’m gonna-” you started, breath stuttering.

“S’fine,” Freddie said, digging his heels into the bed and thrusting up to meet you, finding a speed that worked for him. “I’m close too, babe.”

You shuddered and came around Freddie and not long after, you felt his hands tighten on your thighs and he held himself up as he finished into the condom.

You moved off of him on shaking legs, and fell to the bed. Hilary curled up beside you and Freddie took a few breaths before getting up to dispose of the condom. He came back with two warm rags, carefully cleaning both you and Hilary up before curling up on your other side.

“That was… holy shit…” you finally said and you felt Hilary grin against the bare skin of your shoulder blade.

“Yeah? Glad you enjoyed,” Hilary said, twining her fingers with yours and settling your joined hands on your hip.

“I never actually got to taste you, dove,” Freddie said as he hit the light on the nightstand then rolled over and threw his leg over the two of you. “In the morning? Then I’ll take you both to breakfast. I know a good place.”

You hummed an assent and gave a sleepy nod.

“Damn gentleman, you are,” Hilary said, nuzzling into your neck. “Sounds good, though, Fred.”

Hilary then nudged you a little. “Fred’s got plans tomorrow night though but I’d love it if you stayed in town a little longer, Y/N.”

You were more than a little shocked at her admission, but you quickly recovered. “Y-yeah. Absolutely. Yeah.”

“Good,” she hummed contentedly as Fred started lightly snoring to your side. “I look forward to it.”

[mad-madam-m]

So I'm just curious, how do you get yourself to write? And do you use prompts and if you do where do you get them? I meant to use NaNo to get me to write but it took 4 days into November for me to realize November started so I failed lol. I've been meaning to start this original thing and it's just not...working.

First of all, anon, you could start writing RIGHT NOW (yes, with 10 days left in the month) and you would not fail NaNo. You might not hit 50k (although I know people who have hit 50k in that amount of time, or less), but you won’t fail. NaNoWriMo isn’t about hitting 50,000 words so much as it is about putting a stake in the ground and saying, “Here. Today. I will start writing the project I’ve always wanted to.” And doing it. Doesn’t matter what that project is—original novel, short stories, fic, poetry, revising something, a series of blog posts—NaNo is about just. Fucking. Doing it. And you still have time to Do It.

To answer your questions:

Do you use prompts and if you do, where do you get them?

For original stories, particularly novels, I usually don’t. For fic, particularly short fic I’m writing for events, I do. Tumblr has a wealth of writing prompts that range from “here’s a situation” to “here’s a line of dialogue GO,” and I tend to reblog them under the tags “fic prompts” or “writing prompts.” Honestly, most of them would work for either original fic or fanfic, so if you are a writer who likes to work from prompts, go forth and enjoy!

How do you get yourself to write?

That’s kind of a big question, and uh, the answer to it got long. Very long. (I said once that if you give me half a chance, I’ll talk about writing all the live-long day, and this answer is no exception.)

Different things motivate me for different projects, and as with all writing-related advice, YMMV, but here’s a few things that really help for getting myself to write:

1) Develop your story.

The current original story I’m working on, for example, I have not really had to struggle to get myself to write at all because 1) I’m stupid excited about it and 2) I have developed the hell out of it.

I’ve talked before about outlining my stuff here, so I won’t go too much into it again; suffice it to say that I have done about the same amount of development on my current original story that I had on ADA by the time I started writing. I started around the very end of September developing my characters and spent a good chunk of October working on setting, worldbuilding, plot, and finally my notecards.

Shockingly, having some idea of what’s happening and where I’m going is making this story easier to write.

Right? Like WHO’D HAVE THOUGHT.

Because of that, I’ve been excited about writing my story, so getting myself to write on it has been (comparatively) a cakewalk.

That’s not to say any of the writing is good (oh God no) or that there aren’t parts that need fixing, or that I haven’t been stuck. But it’s been stuck like “how do I describe seeing a tree-covered mountain in the middle of fall from the POV of someone who has never seen something like this” rather than “I have no fucking clue what happens next uh…”

The stories I struggle the most with writing are the ones that I’ve worked the least on developing. The stories that have been the easiest to write have been the ones I’ve spent at least a month doing prep work on before I ever start drafting.

2) Love your story.

Being in love with a story makes it a lot easier to write, at least for me. Because here’s the thing, ideas are easy.

If you’re a creative person, you’re going to end up with a file of story ideas—maybe prompts you liked, dialogue that stuck with you, one of those “humans are space orcs” tumblr posts that’s just really clicking in your brain—that will be longer than you could conceivably write if you had a hundred lifetimes. That’s okay! That’s great. But it means a lot of them are never going to get past the idea stage.

For me, the stories that get finished—the ones that not only get started but actually make it through the first draft and then three rounds of editing and revisions—are the ideas that I’ve been percolating on for months, if not longer. They’ve been cooking in the back of my brain while I’ve been doing other things, sorting themselves out, and most importantly: they will not let me go.

Coming up with ideas is easy. Finding an idea that will last and sustain a story and my interest for at least a year, if not longer? That’s harder.

Y’all know how much I’ve been talking about Tiger & Bunny over the past year? We’re talking that level of obsession with a story that I want to write, whether it’s fic or original. Sometimes it takes months or years for all the puzzle pieces to come together. Sometimes the whole thing will congeal within a few weeks, or there will be one crucial piece of story that will just make EVERYTHING come together, I will literally shout “OH MY FUCKING GOD” and that’s it, I’m off to the races. (In this particular case, it wasn’t anything I’d done in the first two weeks of poking at steampunk-y ideas; it was the realization that I could put a circus on an airship. The whole story just went WHOOSH after that.)

BUT. But. Sometimes you don’t have that. These stories are great and I love them and they remind me why I love writing so much (and if you’re writing something that’s gonna be 90k+, like I have a tendency to do, you need to be in love with it, IMO), but sometimes you’re in situations where you just have to get it done. In those cases:

3) Resort to bribery.

I’ve been poking at the third part of Alpha & Emissary, oh, basically since I posted the second part. My problem is that my fandom focus has been, shall we say, split for the past year. *coughs delicately, shoves Tiger & Bunny fics under the bed*

But here’s the thing: I hate having a published WIP on AO3 (it’s why I don’t publish long!fics until they’re completely drafted and mostly edited). I hate—HATE—having an unfinished series on AO3.

So that’s the rub: I have an unfinished series that I want to finish because I hate that it’s not finished. I also have a new fandom that is wresting my attention and inspiration away from said series. What’s a girl to do?

A girl tells herself she can’t write any more Tiger & Bunny fic until she finishes this one WIP, that’s what she does.

And it’s motivated me to sit my ass down and work on that WIP, because goddammit, I have a “but there was only one bed” TaiBani fic that I would really like to have up by New Year’s.

Your bribery will be different. Maybe you get to watch 1 episode of your favorite show per every 1k you write, or you get to try a new knitting project when you finish this short story. Maybe you binge-watch an entire season of your favorite anime if you exceed your NaNo goal. Or you write 50 words and get a cookie. The point is, find what works for you to get it done.

4) Figure out a minimum daily goal and stick with it.

For me, this was 500 words a day. 500 words. That’s it. That’s one 30-minute word sprint for me. That’s something I can do without stressing myself out.

Because of this point and point 3, I wrote more than 7000 words on a story I’d been stuck on for the better part of a year before I had to stop to work on NaNo stuff. Another 7k, and I’ll probably have it finished.

Your minimum word count will almost certainly be different. Maybe it’s 300 words a day, maybe it’s 1000. Hell, maybe it’s 100 words. Again, find what works for you, what you can write regularly without stressing yourself out.

Another important thing: If I didn’t hit 500 words, I didn’t beat myself up about it. Maybe I wrote 350. Or 220. Or just 93. The point is, did I write? Yes? Then I did good. I got myself a sentence or a paragraph closer to finishing. And it all adds up.

(And hey, you don’t have to write every day. I do, or I try to, because that’s what works for me. If it stresses you out to do so, then find another way to make it work.)

5) Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines.

This one’s hard because I can rarely keep a deadline that’s not set by an external source. If you tell me on December 20 that you need a story by December 22? Then on December 22, you’ll have a story, edited and ready to post. But when it comes to something I set for myself, the chances of a deadline working are 50/50.

That being said, it is something that helps me keep on track and even if I don’t finish something by a self-imposed deadline, it does get me writing.

6) Sprint with friends!

NaNo is really great for this because all your writer friends are coming out of the woodwork going I need to hit 5k by the end of today, will you sprint with me? Sometimes it just helps to have that kind of accountability. You all get together (I’ve used Discord, Google Hangouts, IRC, and Twitter DMs for this), set a timer, and write for 15 minutes or 20 minutes or 30 minutes. Then, when the time’s up, you post your word count, everybody congratulates everybody else, and then you take a break before doing the next one.

Sprints are the reason I’ve been able to make some pretty significant headway on my word counts, and few things get me writing like knowing I’m going to have to tell everybody in my group what my word count is in 30 minutes or less. >.>

Like I said earlier, YMMV on all of these. What works for me may work for you, or it might not. But if you aren’t sure, it’s worth giving it a shot.

Happy writing!

[tipsyrosay]

sun and moon | jjk

pairing: jungkook x female reader

genre: angst (what’s new!!)

word count: 2,501

a/n: this was loosely based on my personal experience, and yeah just wanted to share this piece that means a lot to me:-)

“So what’s it for you, y/n? Seoul National or Yonsei University?”

Before your brain could formulate the perfect answer, a rather awkward chuckle broke the air, shifted the spotlight on the doe eyed boy sitting opposite you. With honey brown tousled hair, you swore you would salivate if you continued ogling it. But it seemed to you, that you were caught in action, as a pair of eyes peeked at you, occasionally meeting yours, as if playing a game of peek-a-boo.

He’s Jungkook, if you were wondering, Namjoon muttered under his breath, smug look in place, as he nudged your shoulder playfully, and all it took was a smack on his head, to shut that mouth of his, you could proudly proclaim. He’s a keeper, I promise you, his name, the only thing that escapes the mouth of all these hormonal driven teenage girls, Namjoon reports to you, hand briefly waving across the crowd as if this was a skit that casted you as the detective and Namjoon as the fellow sidekick, not that you would deny.

Back to those eyes that shy away from yours, every time you find them. There was something—akin to melancholy in them, you noticed. You wanted to ask if he was alright but the fact that you barely knew him, stopped you from doing so. You figured he wasn’t just another cute boy.

The next time you found yourself staring at those eyes was at your school’s ice hockey match. Of all things, you didn’t expect Jungkook to be an ice hockey player, from your university, come to think about it, no wonder they asked which university you were schooling at, because they were arrogant, self centred and everything he wasn’t, and somehow it was a pleasant surprise as you saw his brown mob of hair invade your vision as the players were introduced, his eyes finding yours, a playful mirth in them, before his hand managed a wave at you. The game was rather interesting, it being your first game that you have attended, and definitely not the last, you decided then. After the game ended, the boys quickly pushed you towards Jungkook,rather forcefully and it ended really awkwardly with him sporting a blush, and you all choked up with your not so subtle infatuation with the doe eyed boy. With his arms positioned in front of you, you thought he was going to go in for a hug, and your inner awkward gal was screaming frantically, until you realised he already walked past you, striding towards another. And to your disappointment, it was a rather beautiful girl, you couldn’t place a finger on her name yet, but now that you’ve taken a good look at her, it tallied with whoever he was crooning about for the past several weeks and it registered in your mind. If it ain’t any more possible, you felt your heart drop to your stomach, leaving its chambers open, empty and vulnerable for everyone to see.

Therefore you came up with a plan, to save your already doomed fate, from further falling for Jeon Jungkook, the one appearing in your dreams. You found the saying ‘absence makes the heart fonder’ pretty relatable and disheartening, as you now found yourself staring at his silhouette, when you used to be the one he was facing. You avoided him at all costs, employing Namjoon and sometimes even Taehyung to play your fake boyfriend, hoping it would get to him. But those tactics of yours were childish and useless as it only seemed to hurt you even more, to your dismay.

You were petty, you admitted it, but because you felt cheated, betrayed, lead on. Apparently those playful teasing, accidental glances meant so more to you than to him. Maybe because you wished for something to happen, that you amplified everything that happened. After a whole three months, you decided to give up, on this childish game, that comprised of you, the only player. You found time to hang around with more friends, relishing in the youth that is never everlasting, and cherishing the friendships you’ve forged over the past few years, burying your feelings for that Jeon kid.

The next time you heard of him was when the boys were discussing over their favourite otp that comprised of jungkook and his new girl, which have yet to broken up, which didn’t surprise you, because judging from his appearance, one would think he would be the type to dump girls as and when he pleases, hitting up night clubs on weekdays, but you knew him better than that. That the boy in front of you is nothing like that description, and that was what got you hooked, back in the day.

Now you knew better, than to love with your heart, that it is wiser to love with your mind, because at least you would hurt less, and so that’s what you thought, until you saw the username ‘goldenjeonxx’ pop up in your dms, and once again you reacted faster than your brain could process, as your fingers tapped on the notification, it’s words staring back at you.

goldenjeonxx: hey, you free to talk?

goldenjeonxx: okay that sounded so random but yeah

You seriously considered replying to him, because what if this was just a prank, or another one of those tactics, that he pulled several months back?

popsbopsgops: yo jeon! you alright there buddy?

goldenjeonxx: umm look, i will appreciate if you keep this between us and not tell the boys pls, it will hurt them to know that i’m keeping this from them, but there’s no other way.

The thought of telling them came to mind, if it seemed as serious as he made it out to be. But if he trusted you, then you saw no reason for you to break that.

popsbopsgops: hey hey don’t worry alright, it’s not my story to tell anyway :-)

goldenjeonxx: phew, i always knew i could count on you bro.

The younger you would have shed a tear at that sentence, but you outgrew it already, thankfully. Silently waiting as he continued to type, you brought out your night stash of popcorn, and began devouring it.

goldenjeonxx: typing...typing

goldenjeonxx: hey i’m really sorry that i’m disturbing you at such an ungodly hour, if you don’t want to talk, it’s alright.

popsbopsgops: look jeon, if i say i’m here to listen, i’ll be here. so don’t worry about me. go ahead & spill.

goldenjeonxx: your wish is my command madame y/n, then. it’s about my parents. every night i come home to them, screaming and fighting , today was the polar opposite until they spilled the beans and announced their divorce.

Unknowingly, you exited Instagram and dialed his number right ahead. The night was spent Jungkook vomiting our his sorrows as he sobbed, a side you rarely saw, as you remained silent over the line. It was something you picked over the years, that sometimes what people need is simply a listening ear, and that was what you gave him. This thing—whatever you called it, carried on for another month and it left you thinking on your bed, whether it was appropriate, for him to be spilling his ‘secrets’ to you, his friend. But for all you know, his girlfriend could have already known. But you hated to say it, but from the tone of it, it seemed as if he was suppressing it, and finally reached his limit.

You felt silly for thinking too deeply into the matter, but what exactly was going on in your life anymore? Jungkook is a friend to you, but lately, the lines seemed to have blurred again and it seems to parallel what happened few months ago and you knew that you weren’t ready for another one sided infatuation or whatever it was called, no more.

He sobbed again, and you felt your heartstrings tug, a feeling that has yet to recently show a reappearance.

“So y/n, do enlighten us, when are you ever going to get a boyfriend?” Hoseok peered over at you, eyes masked with curiosity, but the question itself got you choking, on the fried rice you were chewing, causing everyone’s attention to return to you. You decided to be bold and directed your gaze towards Jungkook,

I need someone that understands me, that will believe in me even when I don’t, to love me for who I am.

but he continued eating his meal, eyes focused ahead and for a millisecond, you felt let down again. Not that you had a right to, but seems as if life decided to make you its newest target. “It’s been tough to find the right one, Hoseok.But it’s not like you can relate, right?” The boys went into a frenzy, slapping Hoseok’s shoulder, laughing their heads off, and at that moment you noticed Jungkook staring in your direction, and for the slightest moment, you thought you saw the playful mirth, once again, before the indifference washed over, and he resumed eating, as if it didn’t happen in the first place.

Her name is Yeon Woo, you knew her from school too. The both of you clicked after attending several talks together, coincidentally, and a friendship blossomed from there. She was the peanut to your butter, someone that brought out the hilarious and wild side of you and people always said the both of you were like the dynamic duo. Therefore, it surprised you nonetheless, when Jungkook announced he was dating her, 2 months ago, because you felt left out. That she didn’t let you in on the news before broadcasting it to the rest of the school. However, it didn’t take a toll on your friendship but you respected that maybe she wasn’t comfortable in sharing about her relationships with you, perhaps.

You felt oddly guilty, for some reason. That you were discussing somewhat ‘private’ matters with Jungkook behind her back. But what made you remain steadfast was the fact that you helped him with the intention of helping a friend. If no one mentioned it, one could hardly even notice that these two were even a couple. They were not seen going out together, people even speculated that they already broke up, and the fact that he used to send her home, but no longer does so anymore, says something. Maybe it is your wishful thinking, after all, again.

Nowadays, it’s becoming a regular occurrence in which he confides in you and it reached a point that you broke down in frustration because he really seemed to be in pain, but there was nothing you could do anymore to help, as ultimately it is his own problem to solve. Previously before this whole confiding issue, the two of you could barely be considered as friends but rather as acquaintances who saw each other every week through their mutual friends. But now, it feels as if it had progressed to a friendship after all those nights of ranting and music recommendations. You enjoyed talking to him, you realised, but the reminder of Yeon Woo painfully put in your place, making you keep your distance. And that was what brought Jungkook outside of your theatre class, hands tucked into the pockets of his grey sweatpants, hood covering those brown locks, with the consistent tapping of his foot against the floor. Your musky fragrance underlined with a hint of sandalwood and vanilla caught his attention and in response, he held your gaze, before reaching forward to grab your wrist, making you follow his lead. His grip was somewhat gentle and fragile, as if he was afraid that he would break you. You shrugged away his grip upon reaching the alley next to the cafeteria. If your eyes didn’t fool you, you thought you saw Yoongi walking past, and you were inclined to dodge your head, in embarrassment, for some reason. But what Jungkook said next was the real deal breaker and made you cease in your movements.

“Hey, is everything alright y/n? I mean like you haven’t been online recently, so it made me think if there was something going on, whether you were doing fine,” sensing your stare, he fumbled with his words. “If you’re facing any difficulties or what, I’m here,alright,” he took your hand in his and you froze. You struggled to string your sentences because what were you supposed to say, that you were avoiding him because you felt ashamed of your growing feelings for him, or because his girlfriend was your best friend and it felt so wrong yet right doing this?

“You don’t have to worry, y/n, if that’s what is stopping you. I won’t tell anyone, not even Yeon Woo—“

“She is your sun, someone that energises you and makes you glow, from the inside, sending butterflies to your stomach. Everyone can see her, she doesn’t shy away from the crowd, instead basking in the attention that is shone on her. You need her because she will always be there for you.” It broke your heart to say that aloud but it was the harsh reality and someone just had to say it. But you didn’t know if you were reminding yourself or telling Jungkook.

“Everyone loves her, you do too. I can see it in your eyes, even when you think no one ever notices.” You continued, “You desperately hold onto something, even if hurts you, because even if it makes the other hate you, it’s better than being ignored.” Ignoring the stinging tears that were growing by the minute, you dared yourself to look at the boy in front of you. The one boy that is capable of turning your world upside down with a flick of his tongue. That doe eyed boy, who you allowed back into your heart.

He remains in his position, looking at you with an unreadable expression, as he spoke his mind.“Whereas, I dare say, You’re my moon. Someone that I confide in, at the darkest hours of the night, when everyone else is asleep and my mind is awake from all the thoughts that swim their way around me. Someone that treats me indifferently in the day but showers me with concern, at night , when you think no one else is watching. Although different in shape at times, your heart remains the same, genuine as always.”

You resist the urge to step forward and hug him, because you remember that the both of you were still in school compound and he was not yours to do as you pleased. So, you settled with a pat on his back, as the tears come crashing down, inevitably soaking his hoodie. He doesn’t say anything in response, but you felt the ghost of his palm lingering on your lower back.

.

.

“But you can’t have the both of us, not at the same time. The world doesn’t work that way.” You whispered under your breath, loud enough for his ears to pick up.

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