#the villagers take pity on her

[bisque-firedvampire]

You know what would be a fun isekai setup?:

Ok, so a pre-hrt trans lady gets one of those “run over by truck, but gets their heart’s desire in a new world” deals. The new world is just like her favorite video game, which is a castlevaina esq rogue like, and she gets to be the beautiful heroine right from the start! She knows how the game works so she goes right off to the castle. Unfortunately the game is actually a lot harder in person. Every time she dies, she gets mocked by the bbeg vampire lord. She dies so often that she starts to notice that he’s actually quoting other bad guys from different real world media. eventually she fights her way all the way up to his lair to confront him … only to figure out he’s also a previously isekai-ed nerd, just like her! They hit it off once he figures out that she knows his secret. But unfortunately they find out pretty fast that they actually disagree on a lot of nerd stuff… so hilarity ensues.

That all happens in the first episode. But what’s even funnier, and wouldn’t be found out until later on in the season, is that he actually knew her in middle school, and even had a crush on her at the time ! But she doesn’t remember him, because he was just a little trans-masc egg and still presented as a girl when they were in school. Also she didn’t really know what to do with girls at the time, she was very convinced she might be gay (was also an egg at the time) so didn’t pursue any.

So do they still have chemistry? Can they get over their nerdy differences? Will someone please help the poor villagers understand what’s going on?

Call it: “oops, my villain is a fellow nerd?” Or something like that?

It would be comedy, romance, and tragedy (how do you think they both got isekaied? Plus, eventually a vampire has to do what vampires have to do…)

[fumifooms]

Makima, devils and self-fulfillment

Dumping some Makima and CSM thoughts after a part 1 binge bc I think about her forever and ever. I’m sure I’m forgetting some devil lore, feel free to correct what i get wrong/what’s been confirmed. On the table of contents there’s why & how Makima got fixated on Chainsaw, her revealing liking for the country mouse and discussion of her nature & emotions & desires. Was the scorpion doomed to be a scorpion?

The most of this post was thought of during a conversation with @saccharineomens and I don’t think it makes sense to jump into the spiral it sent me on without first laying down the interesting groundwork theorizing she did:

"Thinking about how makima herself wants to be deified. I wonder whether she recognizes the difference between Love As Worship and the love that Aki, Power, and Denji had. She says she wants to help humanity by having Chainsawman eat the “bad” devils, but why does she want to help humans? Because she was ordered to by the Prime Minister? No, her drive seems much more personal than that, it seems like she teamed up with the PM for contractual reasons. (In the most recent chapters we see governmental members wanting certain devils to be eaten, too. What was Makima’s relationship with them? She’s too independent to just follow THEIR orders, she’s Control.)

So is she wanting to better humanity for the accolades, or out of the goodness of her heart? She sees the big picture. She sees any small sacrifice as worth it for the end result, and she’s ruthless. Perhaps she thinks that a more sedate human race would be easier to control? But Makima doesn’t loathe humanity. She never acts like she sees all humans as lesser. She loves humanity’s creations, like good food and movies. She just wants Good Things all the time

She says she prefers the country mouse BUT adds a story where she helps exterminate country mice like vermin. She likes the simplicity yet rejects the idea of being simple. Makima the complex individual you are"

~

The story itself seems to prefr the country mouse. Well- it strikes a balance, shows that a risk to live good & fully can be very worth it, but still that stability over ambition is preferable, proning having a simple happy life over fame, a simple job instead of a dangerous one, etc etc. And I do find Makima’s answer on this so so interesting, she prefers the country mouse, but this preference isn’t out of affection or sympathy but because of how relaxing it feels to exterminate them when they cause problems.

Order satisfies her. Her order satisfies her. She likes the action of rooting out disorder. Maybe this is the devil part, like how Power especially wants blood and drinking it, I feel there’s an itch to every devil, and for Makima it’s a very rigid world view/morality/standards & making things follow her rules and submit to her order.

And maybe this is why she’s attached to humans too, why she felt it was worth it to stick with the government- because devils are chaotic by nature (it’s a whole plot point that hell is essentially a free-for-all battleground for example), meanwhile humans are the species that universally rule Earth with systems they invented and instilled. They made then enforced rules, complex and intricate webs of them. She feels alienated amongst devils but she understands the humans’ need for an orderly organised society, and now she wants to be part of it. Control and conquest require social dynamics after all, requires civilizations or groups. War is chaotic while peace is, well, peaceful— Makima resents her sisters for being death, famine and war, things that throw the world in such chaos. She wants a world of perfect order, no matter how much collateral damage there will be if the end result is control.

This is even more interesting if you consider that yes, Makima is untouchable of her own design, she deifies herself with her omnipresent amount of control and the sway over others that she seeks and encourages— There is this urge to dehumanize her for it, that yes, she is the devil of control and that means she was never going to be any different, have any more feeling be any less uncanny. And I love part 2 so much for this, because it shows us the war devil and the famine devil and we see how frankly uncharismatic with poor self-discipline they are, Nayuta too, and it helps us realize just how much Makima’s success was self-made.

She admires Chainsaw Devil, the Hero of Hell, because he had his own code and his own rules and he made Hell, the chaos pit, submit to them unfailingly. Wherever he goes he decides what he does and what happens to the people he encounters but does so consistently, he has his mechanism and his rules that he always obeys, and he fulfills them every time. It’s still a mystery the why of Chainsaw Devil’s behavior back then and how it works exactly, maybe Pochita left hell because he was tired of these rules he lived by like chains, but still, he was a servant to his code. Makima would have been glad being killed and eaten by Chainsaw Devil because it’d have been becoming part of his design, his conquest, his domination, she’d have been part of that —his— order. Through her death she would be shaping his world and be part of a conqueror’s making history. Like how she appreciates the country mice that die for the sake of order. Like how sacrifices must be made to herself, like listing the name of every person whose life was lost to the Gun Devil— All for the ~greater good~, for her vision for the world. Conquest always thinks its reasons are justified.

And she does mention with the country mice thing that she goes out to a friend’s farm every year! She has a human friend?? That she visits yearly and she genuinely likes it?? Ultimately she lives a busy city life because of her goal and drive and her urge & satisfaction with overseeing shaping the world herself, but part of her, like so many characters including Angel and Aki and Reze, wishes she could live a slow peaceful country life. Moviegoing and dogs and mice in a farm- Wouldn’t it be so much simpler if Makima could find fulfillment and happiness in being a farmer, in keeping control of her own farm, getting satisfaction from exterminating vermin and expertly getting everything right, the right crops grown at the right time on the right soil? Here, too, in a way it’s trying to have full control of an ecosystem, but her goals would be easier to achieve and better, without ceaseless sacrifice or much pressure. But Makima wants grandiosity and her goal does matter to her on a fundamental and moral level, she does think she knows what’s best for the world, and with the power to change it why wouldn’t she strive to? Visiting the farm is just a break, just something she does in fall to help out and just in time to see the vermin extermination. It calms her, then it’s back to actual work.

In capitalism, even the one at the very top of the ladder is ultimately alienated from others and often unsatisfied by their lifestyle, always wanting more and more power because surely that’s the extra edge they must be missing to be content— like how Makima thinks she wants to dominate Chainsaw Devil instead of being his equal. And she says it herself too, she likes humans the way humans like dogs…….. And she keeps so many dogs :( Makima prefers the country mice because they’re calming to root out, maybe because she usually mainly deals with city mice. It’s very easy to equate humans to the mice in this allegory because it’s pretty direct and she’s already likened humans to lesser animals compared to her. She’s self-isolating by design for her design but she still craves relationships and contentment, and the dogs are the embodiment or her want for bonds and occasional simplicity because there is no possible ulterior motive, no way they tie back into her wider plan. They’re her personal life— something that feels so alien when speaking about Makima. Personality and individuality and likes and preferences and friends they visit every year. She likes how easily she can train a dog and how they become putty in her hands, at her beck and call, how much they love her and how much she enjoys their love. How simple and straightforward and easy it is. She keeps them because she likes being loved by them and loving them, and she’s gotten and raised so many. A conqueror always wants more and more and more, is never satisfied.

Devils and agency

Like Power the blood devil wanting blood and having a fixation on drinking it like with Denji’s, or how it was shocking that the violence devil was pretty tame and nice and how he himself theorized it was because he was a fiend and possessing a human body… There’s something to be said about nature vs nurture with the devils. The way they reincarnate and always embody their fear makes it seem categorically like nature, that they always always end up fulfilling the role they were named after and born to fill… Outside influence they’re helpless but to conform with. Like the humans accepting their spot in the social ladder and the shittiness of their living conditions and job under capitalism. Makima craved being equals with someone despite being the control/conquest devil, Angel Devil despite claiming to be a devil who likes to see humans dying was haunted by their deaths and wanted to avoid ones like Aki’s. The Ghost Devil being ironically haunted by Himeno, seemingly helping Aki in her memory out of… Lasting affection? Or maybe it was less about being haunted itself and more about it recognizing how Himeno haunted Aki, and acknowledging that, with the memento, paying her respect to the ghost of her. It’s Angel Devil’s devil nature that makes him like human suffering, so then is it his angel nature too to still care about their deaths? Is there truth to this or is that just personality, just our confirmation bias haunting every part of their identity like it might in their own view of themselves too? We do know different reincarnations of devils do have different personalities after all.

Yoru, war devil, is the most interesting one when talking about the nature vs nurture debate with devils. There is how through her we see the perhaps the most the consequences of a devil stopping being feared— we see a horseman for a concept as universal and horrifying as war be reduced to some bird who needs a contract with a human to have any power even just on the situation when meeting Asa. And through the story we get to know her better, and it becomes clear that her goal is fueled in good part by simply wanting to be remembered and respected through fear. Liked, validated, seen a powerful. But what is more isolating than war? Or control? We also see Nayuta accepting others’ house rules. If part 1 shows perhaps the futility of running away from the truth, with Denji’s memory, with escapist coping mechanisms, with passivity and denial under a corrupt system and with abusive relationships- running away from your own feelings and from the reality of things and from all that you are, more complex than simply human or devil or both or neither— part 2 builds upon the theme of cult of personalities, the chainsaw church, etc. The apocalypse is coming, but this celebrity superhero might save us all, or doom us all uh, dunno. The hero of hell reliving the cycle of pressure from responsibilities and expectations, maybe the part will end with Denji running away like Pochita did~

But yes, on the reverse, I think Famine is a very interesting example of how a devil’s namesake may be more innate than coerced by circumstances. One would think that a famine devil would only like inflicting famine upon others, not being famished itself, but Famine has a bottomless stomach that can never, ever be satisfied, sated. I struggle to find a psychological explanation for this, except that maybe instead of her being hungry it’s her feeling empty when she’s not eating, tasting and having that high sensory experience that releases serotonin in humans, sort of like drugs? But I do take this as a step towards the compulsion theory overall, feels like a reach in the consistency otherwise. And compulsion does not mean it’s something that they like nor that it’s something that they fight against, pretty neutral, just a nature that nudges you towards one path. Maybe it’s even just their go-to for entertainment. Maybe it’s the only thing that makes them feel right and whole. But still the debate remains, what is it, a compulsion or an urge or an itch or an active desire or a conscious chosen want? Does it change anything in practice?

And because of all of this earlier, devils being self-fulfilling prophecies with their role is not in unsignificant part nurture, because doing their atrocities is how they stay remembered— feared, powerful, known— hell and devils are a very isolating place and breed after all, and we do see devils can want companionship. Existentially, it’s their purpose and how they justify their place in the world, in the terrifyingly vast and unknowable cosmos.

We still know so little of what makes Chainsaw Devil so special, why his carnage is so self-controlled. Despite a chainsaw maybe being possibly one of the most "nature" thing you can be— a tool to cut things, a human tool that can be helpful for many things, something to be wielding by another at their judgement on what they decide, but mainly something to cut, a tool suited for carnage, to hurt and to destroy. A blade with a toothed chain, spinning around and around and around endlessly on the same road at the same pace. Such a…. Innately circular concept. And yet the Chainsaw Devil is his own, not driven by an urge or by chaos but his very own brand of order, his own unique assigned purpose, a "if you call i’ll come running to help" policy equalizing everyone. He chooses to withhold his destruction and interference otherwise, and then he chooses to be used. If it’s a choice, of course.

Maybe this is what inspired Makima so much, that Chainsaw Devil could decide what to make of himself despite expectations or innate role. Because even Hell he decided & managed to subjugate under his will and whim, with a precise vision and process. When Chainsaw Devil acts like Denji or is defeated, Makima clicks her tongue and loses her admiration and respect. Makima admired and liked Chainsaw Devil, but only as long as he matched her great image of him in her mind, as long as he followed he rules for what she thinks he should be like. She admired him for his unrivaled self-made success, but once he stepped out of that to truly embody self-fulfillment and agency, disappearing from hell to live on his own road at the beat of his own drum… Well. Surely that was a mistake she has to correct. However their second battle ends, the better conqueror will have prevailed and she’s happy about that, all in the spirit of domination and subjugation.

Imo Makima’s biggest tool, similarly capitalism’s most helpful effect for its own purposes, is complacency. Resignation and passivity helps uphold the system and go along the flow of the will of the people in power. Aki and Reze go along with orders even when knowing their job is trash, etc. In Angel Devil especially we see him go along with the flow uncaring about anyhing, and we discover it was in part due to Makima taking away memories that motivated him. If every devil decides this is just how things are and how things should be that’s what they’ll continue to be and do mindlessly, not pursuing a better life like Chainsaw Devil and Denj and not seeking to change the world like Makima. I think even Makima veils herself to a lot of things, she doesn’t like to think deeply about some things, like her desire for connection, or how making bad movies disappear is strenuous and unsustainable and requiring sacrifices at best— how her judgement is as subjective as anyone else. How liking the country mouse and her friend back at the farm and her dogs could be not devoid of sentimality. Wanting bad movies erased is her one biggest show of selfishness, of pettiness and individuality, it’s about her tastes, simple as. About how she can have tastes, and cry seeing a scene of people hug, and want things that aren’t logical, her ideology and mind twisted into a pretzel to avoid acknowledging that she doesn’t live and breathe purely for the mission she’s made a single-minded robot out of herself to accomplish. Nayuta is assertive and selfish and loud, Makima is manipulative and strategically both for her goals and for coping hollow.

Everything in her plans and goals she says is for the greater good, necessary evil, manufactured happiness the way she’ll have decided for people— and that’s the thing isn’t it, like with War, it’s the crack that shows it was all truly about herself after all. Her self-made deification still had the flaw that a self made it. Makima is not omniscient, and it’s not Chainsaw Devil the not-so-fellow-kindred-soul conqueror who gets the best of her, but a city mouse, a dog, someone she would have never thought to respect, Denji.

[jcp1765]

okay okay is this anything

spoiled bitchy princess who doesn't consider others to be real and likes to collect human dolls for her play court

collected village girl turned jester

toxic yuri

[monstriiss]

the way drath is capable of being ruthless and wreaking absolute destruction while also being deeply maternal and nurturing got me feeling some kinda way

[impossible-rat-babies]

4.3 really just scratches the brain both in and out of character brain and I cannot tell which one hates it here more

[envy-of-the-apple]

Family Man Part 2

Yandere!Gojo Satoru x reader

Part One

Word Count: 8.9k

thx to a very lovely commissioner!!!

Synopsis : Two months after Satoshi’s death, you and your daughter struggle to move on. You’re so lucky that Gojo is there to pick up the pieces.

(Yandere, smut, oral sex both m/f receiving, lactation kink, implied depression, masochistic gojo, ooc gojo, never rlly fixed that, reader has dark skin, xenophobia(NOT by gojo))

Sometimes, you're in bed, and feel like he's right beside you. 

For a moment, the last two months disappear. You feel whole again. Sometimes, it’s enough to make you turn around, words on your tongue, already ready to smile and greet him with a kiss. 

He isn't there. Nothing's behind you. 

And you feel empty all over again. 

It's better somedays. The emptiness. It's like a looming visage of gloom. Farther away one day, in your bed the next. Lately, it's growing bigger and bigger. A dark cloud on your shoulder, resting heavier and heavier on your back. 

Grief. Mourning. Loss. 

When you open the door, the mailman smiles cheerily at you. 

"Morning!" He chirps. "Lovely weather we're having today."

You nod, silent as he begins to dig through his bag. He's younger than you, you note. By a decade, at the very least. Barely in his twenties. When you were his age, you were still back home, in the village. When you were his age, Japan was just a faraway country, hardly worth your notice. 

He hands you your dues. You take them with a respectful thank you. And then you wait for the inevitable. 

On cue, his smile fades. Something pitying fills his gaze. You force yourself to stare right back at him. Insecurity bites at you, and you know he's staring at your dull face. The circles underneath your eyes. 

In the background, Reina babbles. He's forced to take his eyes off of you momentarily. 

"I heard about your husband." He starts, still staring inside your home. Your hands tighten into fists. "I'm sorry for your loss." 

He bows. So do you. 

"Thank you." You tell him, rehearsed, just like you practiced millions and millions of times. "I...appreciate it." 

He smiles, as if he think he did something, made your life a little easier. You let him bathe in his graciousness, before you shut the door. Away from the sunlight, away from fabricated sympathies. You finally feel like you can breathe again. 

It's been like this ever since Satoshi died. 

Car wreck. Some drunk had driven too close to the curb. Satoshi had been walking home. He'd missed the bus, he does that often. It's a usual quirk of his, you'd often found it adorably clumsy. Being late was harmless. He wasn't supposed to die for it. It'd been an instant kill, for the both of them. No other witnesses. The scene was cleaned up by the time you got there. The officers kept you in dread for four hours. In that time, you could almost convince yourself that it wasn't him. The reason why he wasn't answering your calls was because his phone had died. He was lost on the other side of town. He was anywhere else, doing anything else. 

You were brought to identify the body. Your eyes couldn’t deny what you saw.

You think a part of yourself died with your husband, too. You drift through life like a ghost. Mindless, numb. Colors have all bled into grayish blues. You don’t really feel much of anything anymore.

Reina squeals. You blink back to reality.

She’d dropped her toy. You pick it up. It was a purple stuffed rabbit. Satoshi had gotten it for her the day she was born. She doesn’t even sleep without it.

These days, Reina is the only thing that makes you get up in the morning, even when you don’t want to. She’s the only thing you push yourself for.

You don’t know where you’d be without her.

She’s giggles when you hand it back. She doesn’t even know. How can you even begin to tell your infant that her father is no longer coming home? Someone so new at life should not experience death this soon. It’s a sin. Someone has cursed her. It’s the only explanation you could give.

You kiss her on the top of her head. Her baby hairs are still growing. They resemble yours. Every part of her was you. When you look at her, you don’t see Satoshi.

You used to tease him about it; now, you wish there was just a tiny bit of him on her face.

Or maybe it was a good thing? Did you even want to see the man you loved, mourned for, and hated to think about in your daughter’s eyes? Would it break you even further?

You don’t have to think about questions like those. You have more important things to worry about. When you rifle through the mail, your heart sinks.

Warnings, bills, everything that Satoshi used to handle. Even when your world stopped, the rest of the planet didn’t: ever turning, ever malevolent.

You place the bills down. Reina babbles something.

You bend down to pick her up, she screams in delight when you place her on your lap, peppering her face with kisses.

And maybe your world hadn’t stopped, not just yet.

“There are stains on your blouse.”

You glance down before shrugging.

“Reina dropped her food.” You shrug. “I didn’t have time to clean it up.”

Kiyo doesn’t look very happy about your excuse. She doesn’t say anything about it, preferring to glare at you in silent disapproval as she always does. Usually, you’d have Satoshi acting as a barrier between you and your mother-in-law. For obvious reasons, that wasn’t feasible at the moment.

Reina was being entertained by your father-in-law. Satoshi had inherited Isamu’s bald spot as well as his gentleness. Reina kicked her feet as Isamu muttered soft words, as though they were communicating, even though Reina hadn’t even said her first words yet.

Another milestone Satoshi would miss.

“We made adjustments to the will,” Kiyo announces. “Everything will be passed onto Reina when she comes of age.”

You nod, not very interested in politics and lands. Satoshi came from a traditional family. Japanese nobility, though he wasn’t fond of talking about his background. You were always fine with it. You never married him for the money, despite what your mother-in-law thinks.

On cue, Kiyo snaps her fingers. You blink in her direction.

She frowns, but you’ve never seen her smile in your presence.

“I would appreciate if you could pay attention when discussing my grandchild’s future.” She more or less hisses.

“I am,” you give. “Trust me, no one else is more invested in my daughter’s future than me.”

It makes her even more mad, but you’re too drained to play ‘submissive daughter-in-law’ with her. From the moment Satoshi introduced you as his fiance’, Kiyo had hated you. Nothing you did could make her like you. Not even when you learned the language perfectly, immersed yourself in Japanese culture.

She never said it out loud, but you knew what she thought of you. She wanted someone different for her son: someone with pale skin, straight hair, and Japanese heritage.

You wonder if she blames you for his death.

“You haven't gone to visit him,” She says, after she breaks her death stare, “you should.”

A part of you wants to say no, but you’re in her home, and you know she doesn’t take it lightly when guests (not family, you were not family) reject her. So you do as she suggested. You rise, glancing at Reina before ultimately stepping out of Satoshi’s childhood home.

He was just as you had left him. His gravestone stood tall and proud. Even next to all the other graves, his was the tallest. It must be Kiyo’s doing. No matter the gripes she had about you, her child would always reach for the skies.

His incense had to be switched. You did so, throwing out the burnt sticks and replacing them with new ones. You watched the smoke flicker away from his altar. A lone picture of him, a shy smile. It was from back when he was younger. His hair was still there. An office job hadn’t dulled his eyes.

You wanted to keep the ashes. Just a tiny piece of him, tucked by your own altar you had. Kiyo had refused, wanting the entire body to be cremated and kept in one piece. Too broken, you hadn’t pushed. Now, all you were left with his clothes and the fading scent on the pillows. You regret not fighting more that day.

You don’t cry. Not today. A part of you is proud. It feels like it’s much too early to feel so numb to this grave. It’s too early for this to feel normal.

You touch the cold stone. It’s smooth underneath your fingertips.

Your in-laws are right inside the house. You still feel lonely.

“You shouldn’t have left.” You told the tomb. “You shouldn’t have abandoned me like this.”

When you curse Satoshi’s grave, you could have sworn you felt a tiny tingle by your neck.

On Thursdays, you take Reina shopping.

She’s a hit with the local farmers market. The shopkeepers coo at her giggles and beautiful eyes as you haggle prices for vegetables and grains. It’s nice to get back on routine. Even with everything going on.

The bills were still on the counter when you left. More and more were coming in. You feel like you were being buried alive.

Reina kicks her feet. When you look at her, her chubby cheeks are stretched in the wide smile. You smile back, and then you pepper her face with kisses. These days, you’ve opted out of the bus, trying to save some money. It’ll just be until you find a job. Then, you can take as many Air-conditioned rides as you want.

There’s a honk. You ignore it. A car rolls to a stop beside the sidewalk. You take a peek, and then you stop and stare.

“Mr. Gojo?” You ask.

“Hey! Long time!” The man waves cheerily.

You give a timid smile, waving. Reina, your polar opposite, screams in delight. She frantically leans out of your arms as though she could get to Gojo by sheer will. You quickly rearrange your hands to balance her.

“What’re you doing out there?” He frowns. “Especially in this heat?”

“Ah.” Subconsciously, you wipe the sweat off your neck. “We were heading home from the market.”

He brightens. “Wanna hop in? It’s way too hot to walk that far.”

You smile, about to politely decline but then you remember infants shouldn’t be in this weather for too long.

Gojo’s car is luxurious, but the biggest relief is the cool air blowing over your heated skin. Reina is ecstatic to be next to Gojo. She babbles something, reaching out her tiny arms. Gojo takes her immediately.

“And how’s the prettiest girl in the world doing, today?” He grins, lifting her above his head. She coos.

You’re not really sure how Gojo walked into your life. You met him once before. That day when Satoshi had a mental breakdown and practically ran away from home. Gojo was so ansty back then, and it made sense why he and your husband got along so well.

He was the one who brought home Satoshi’s essentials from work—his computer, his notes—and then he started delivering Satoshi’s work mail. Then, sometimes, he’d stop by for lunch. And then he started bringing toys for Reina. Two months passed, and you know him now.

Not well. But you know Gojo enough to slip into the passenger seat, watching how he handles Reina.

“Okay, Car ride!” He tells her. She claps her hands as he gently hands her back to you.

“Thank you again, Mr. Gojo.” You tell him. “Really, this means a lot.”

He waves you off, starting the car. “Don’t worry about it, Seriously. Got nothin’ better to do anyway. Also, I told you already, call me Satoru.”

You smile, shifting away. You don’t know why Gojo is insistent on helping a widow. He was the friend of your late husband (though, strangely, Satoshi never spoke of the man before or after the quick introductions). Maybe it’s guilt. But unlike the rest of the people who knew, Gojo never once looked at you like that as though you were in pieces in front of him. It was nice, finally having someone like that. Someone who doesn’t see you as the widow of a dead man.

He was a nice young man. You shouldn’t be so quick to assume everyone has an underlying motive.

Maybe some people were just as they are. Nice.

“Grocery shopping?” He mentions to your bag. It creases under your grip.

You nod. “Dinner. You’re welcome to join, but I’m not making anything special.”

“I’d never pass up a meal from you, ma’am,” Gojo says, happily.

You like to keep to yourself, but he was driving you home. It was the least you could do to pay back his hospitality, as well as the other things he had done for you. Honestly, your bucket for Gojo’s hospitality wasn't yet empty.

When the car rolls to a stop, Gojo hops out, opening the door before you can touch it. You thank him, Reina huddled safely in your arms and fast asleep. Gojo grins, not before grabbing your groceries and leading the way.

Your house is sparser than it had been just months ago. Less decoration. Less silly memoirs. No pictures. You dumped them all, stored them in a tiny box before locking them all in the attic. You couldn’t bring yourself to throw it away.

Gojo waltzes into your home like he owns it. You don’t mind. He’s young, still in his twenties, at his prime. These days, you can feel things start to break down within you. Your shoulder hurts when you sleep on it the wrong way. You have to be more careful about picking up things from off the ground. You can’t tell whether this has to do with the remnants of pregnancy or your age, but you’re envious of Gojo’s youthful strength either way.

He places the bags on the counter. By then, Reina’s awake. She blearily blinks at you. You were hoping she’d stay asleep for a little while longer.

“I can watch her!” Gojo pipes up, extending his hands. Reina’s overjoyed to be handed over. It’s nice to have your hands full with something else other than baby

You listen to them giggle while you get started on dinner. It’s your usual dance. Potatoes. The sounds of boiling water. You want to make something simple, but Gojo is here, and you don’t want to disappoint your guest. By the time you’re back out, it’s nearly an hour, and the food has yet to be served.

They don’t seem to mind. Gojo had taken Reina onto the floor. You don’t complain. It’s where she usually played anyway. He was driving one of her wooden cars on the carpet, running it across the floor, as Reina clapped to her heart’s content. You could only watch, heart strangely numb.

He’s good with her.

Like Satoshi was.

You clear your throat. Gojo looks up.

“Food’s ready.” You tell him with a stiff smile. “Why don’t you wash up? I’ll take care of her.”

“Be good, okay?” He pats Reina’s head before standing up. You take her into your arms.

She’s tired from playing. Reina settles in the crib rather nicely. It’s relieving. When she’s asleep, you can’t bring yourself to leave. You watch her. Her chest rises and falls. She snores. It’s the most adoring noise you’ve ever heard.

When you head back to the kitchen, Gojo’s already back. He grins, clearly eager.

“You cooked a lot.” He comments when you two finally settle down. “Not that I’m complaining!”

“I hope it’s to your liking,” you say as always.

And it is. Gojo never hides from giving his compliments. He’s so genuine and sincere, and it makes you a bit bashful.

“Mrs. Sawai, this stuff right here is sometimes the highlight of my day,” he says. You shake your head.

“It’s true! You have talent. You should open up a restaurant or something! Wait no, don’t do that...you’d be booked for years, and I’ll never eat your cooking again.” That makes you laugh. He seems pleased for some reason.

“Thank you,” you say, “I appreciate that.”

“How was your week? Your students?” You prod.

“Good. They’re all good!” He chirps back. “I was out of town for the week, so returning to my precious students was the best.” He sighs. “Sometimes, I wish I could just pack them all in my suitcase and take ‘em with me. They’re the cutest things.”

He said he taught at a religious school, which you found strange because Gojo didn’t really strike you as religious. Nevertheless, he seemed very passionate about teaching. It was rather endearing.

Did Satoshi ever have that kind of passion for his job?

“Reina reminds me of them. The youth.” Gojo adds. “Endless potential. The kids are all like...seeds, right? They just need the proper care to bloom.”

“That’s a nice way of looking at things,” you say.

When dinner’s over, you gather the utensils and bowls. Gojo offers to help, but you don't bite, insisting that he rests. It gives you time to decompress. As much as you like Gojo, he’s a bit severe. You can’t be around him for too long, he’s too bright. His companionship is much like a furnace. Warm, but too much, and you burn.

When you return, you expect him to put his shoes back on, waiting by the door.

Instead, Gojo is perched on the counter—his hands card through your mail.

You stare. He doesn’t seem particularly surprised at being caught. He doesn’t startle; he barely spares you a glance, perusing over your bills like they were his. You know you should say something. Anger. It should bubble up instead of the shame. You open your mouth—

“How much?” He suddenly asks.

You fumble. “What?”

He waves the envelopes. “How much is it?”

You say nothing. He shrugs, as if that’s an answer itself.

Gojo reaches into his pocket and pulls out a checkbook. You move when he plucks a stray pen from the counter.

“What are you doing?” You ask, incredibly lost.

“I’m not real good with money.” He sheepishly admits before tearing off the slip and handing it to you. “But this should be enough, right?”

You stare at the amount. You’ve never held this much money before.

“I can’t accept this.” You instantly say. Instinct.

You go to hand this back. He puts a hand on his chin.

“Tell you what.” He tells you. “If I gotta take this back, I’m just gonna head to the bank, cash it in myself, and throw all the money into the river.” He grins at your horrified expression. “And it’ll all be in Yuan, so even if someone fishes it out, no one’s gonna be able to use it. One way or another, that money’s getting outta’ my bank.”

His voice softens, akin to butter. It melts into your ears.

“This isn’t out of obligation or anything. I’m giving this to you because I want to help my friend. That’s it.”

Gojo has never looked at you in pity, not like the others. He’s always looked at you like...well, you could never understand his expression. You stare at him. His sunglasses have tilted over, showcasing those gorgeous blue eyes.

Why? Why are you doing this? You want to ask him. It’s killing you inside. Is it pity for the wife of a dead friend? Why was he doing this to you?

You think of Reina. Happy giggling, Reina, with your eyes and your hair.

“It’s not like I don't have any to spare. I’m, like, loaded,” Gojo continues with his usual snark, and you think of the fancy black car parked in front of your tiny house. “And if that isn’t enough for you, just think of it as me paying you back after all those times I’ve eaten your food.”

You lower your gaze when you take the check.

“I’ll pay you back—”

“—I won’t accept it.” He grins, and you have to smile at his tenacity.

“Thank you. No, really.” You keep the check close to your chest. “Thank you, Mr.Gojo.”

He angles his sunglasses down. He looks expectant. Just this once.

“Thank you, Satoru.”

“No problem!” He pops his frames back into place.

You see him off. When he’s behind the wheel, he gives an excited wave. You shyly wave back.

And then you feel a touch right on your back. When you turn, there’s nothing but air.

Sometimes, you dream of home.

Your real home. The village is far, far away from Japan. Where you lived with your parents and siblings and aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents. On sweltering summer nights, you and the other children would sleep on the terrace underneath the stars. There were dirt paths, and rolling hills but the sky was clear every night.

In the village, tradition was everything. You used to hate it. Every day was the same. An endless cycle. You used to dance back then, your family had pushed you into it. As a child, you thought it was stupid.

Maybe that’s what pulled you towards the city—bustling roads, people everywhere. Your college was a town in and of itself. You met so many new people every day.

Satoshi was one of them.

When you brought them to your family, everyone was in awe. He was a foreigner. He was well-off, too; he came from a traditional Japanese family.

It was your Nani who pulled you aside as your family gushed about him.

“Are you sure about this one?” She had asked.

You nodded. Back then, you were young and in love. He was everything you could have dreamed of. New, exciting.

She doesn’t smile.

“Be careful.”

You remembered her words, even after you ran off with Satoshi to Japan. You remembered her words even after Satoshi assured you he wanted you to stay home and he’d work. You remembered her words when Reina was born. You remembered her words when you and Satoshi’s lives were perfect and happy.

And then you woke up.

Your village was gone. Instead of waking up in a pile of your siblings, you were alone on a giant bed.

It’s dark in your home. Satoshi hated having the lights off.

You looked to the crib. Reina was still asleep. During nights like these, you often bring her to sleep with you. It still isn’t enough, sometimes.

You’re a terrible mother. Why isn’t your own daughter enough for you?

Careful not to wake her, you slip out of bed, walking into the closet. You reach up, feeling your way on one of the shelves.

The photo album is dusty. You cough a bit when you open the book.

There’s you. Younger, stupider, garbed in your traditional dance dress. You always found that outfit so itchy. The photo was taken right after you’d placed first in one of your last competitions. Even in the photo, you had this look of disdain, holding that trophy like it was nothing but a heavy burden.

You still have that trophy a decade later.

You flip another page. Your parents. Your cousins. Your Aunts and Uncles. You stare at the photo of you holding your baby cousin. He was the same age as Reina when that picture was taken. That was ten years ago.

You can’t remember the last time you saw your family. Reina hadn’t met her grandparents, her own cousins. You never got the chance to. Satoshi was always so anxious about leaving Japan.

They’ve seen her, through video calls and photos. But that’s different than touching her, bonding with her.

You stare at the photo of you posing with the rest of your siblings and cousins. Strangely, you feel like you robbed something from Reina.

You miss home.

You cry until the album shuts itself closed, and the sun starts peeking through the windows.

“You good?” Satoru suddenly asks.

You blink, eyelashes fluttering as you stare at him. He’s on the floor again, watching Reina as she clacks a few wooden blocks together. It isn’t quiet. The babbling, too. She’d already knocked over the tower Satoru had built. He didn’t seem too upset by her destruction.

“Oh,” you say, “yes. Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.”

As discretely as you can, you rub at your eyes, hoping that would shoo the dark circles away. It doesn’t help.

“I...just haven’t been sleeping too well these days. That’s all.”

Reina says something, not too happy with the lack of attention. Satoru gives her another block. He’d given her a bunch of toys, this time. You weren’t sure where to even store half of them. If he kept this up, pretty soon Reina’s entire room will be filled with dolls mirrors, and blocks.

“What’s been going on?” He asks.

You’re not sure how to answer that. You aren’t sure what’s been going on yourself. All that you know is that it’s getting worse. You can’t sleep at night, most nights like there’s something pressing you down. Things are going missing. You feel like you’re being watched constantly over and over again.

It only goes away whenever Satoru’s around. Maybe that’s why you’re more tolerant of his space.

“It’s nothing,” you say, “I’ve just misplaced a few things. It’s been aggravating looking for them.”

“Hm.” He cocks his head, you can’t decipher his tone. “Really?”

“I’ll find them eventually.”

He’s silent for a few more moments and then—

“Maybe you’re haunted.”

You laugh. It’s mean and sardonic, but you haven’t laughed in a while, and you hide away when Satoru stares.

“A ghost?” You question. “Those don’t exist.”

In the village, superstition was everywhere. Guess that never changed, no matter what corner of the world you ran to.

“Not a ghost.” He corrects. “Maybe something else.”

You hum, unamused. Satoru turns to Reina with an all-too-wide smile on his face.

“It’ll be right behind you, and you won’t even know it.” He tells her. “Then, it’ll draw closer, and closer, and closer until....it gets ya—”

To further his point, his hands shoot out to lightly jostle her. Reina squeals, absolutely thrilled.

Then, Satoru turns to you.

“Or something like that.”

You aren’t impressed.

“Ghosts aren’t real.” You tell him.

“They certainly aren’t.” He agrees. “But other things are.”

Satoshi acted strangely two days before his death.

He was always anxious, but this was even worse than before. Constantly looking behind him, like they’d be something there. You know he wouldn’t sleep. He’d just lay there, shifting in panic.

You don’t prod until you find him in the bathroom in clear hysterics.

“I messed up,” he mumbles over and over again. “I messed up. I messed up.”

“Satoshi.” You beg, kneeling on the tile next to him. “What are you doing? What’s going on?”

“I messed up.” He tells you again. “I keep messing up.”

And then he sobs. He cries so loudly, you’re worried it might wake up Reina. You hug him. Hold him close to your chest, letting him cry himself out.

“I’m sorry.” He tells you. “I’m sorry. I love you. I love Reina. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” You ask.

He looks at you then.

“For cheating.”

You remember every detail. The crinkle in his eyes. The beginning stages of wrinkles in his face. A picture entirely stamped into your memory.

“I forgive you.” You immediately say. “I—I forgive you. We—we can work through this.”

“We can’t.” He shakes his head. “I’m so sorry. You deserve better. She deserves better, too. I’m sorry.”

He doesn’t say anything when you prod. Who, how, when. Your husband cheated on you. You aren’t even allowed to grieve your dying marriage when you have to grieve your dead husband.

You meant what you said. You forgave him. You would have worked through it. Fixed it. Because your marriage with Satoshi was perfect.

Perfect.

Perfect.

It was a perfect marriage when he never stood up for you in front of his mother. It was a perfect marriage when all he did back from work was eat and sleep. It was a perfect marriage when he cheated on you.

Rose-tinted glasses. Maybe your relationship wasn’t the most perfect.

But it was fixable.

Reina’s crying in her crib. The thing on your chest is back.

You fumble through the dark, reaching for her. She’s crying even louder when you pick her up, even when you rock her in your arms.

“Please stop.” You beg. “Please stop crying.”

She doesn’t. The pressure gets bigger.

“Got any plans for the weekend?” Satoru’s asking when you’re finished putting away the groceries. He’d offered you a ride again. You wondered when you stopped being surprised at his frequent pop-ins.

“The same as always,” you respond.

You’re not used to the house being so quiet. Reina’s always doing something. For an infant, she’s rather loud.

But she isn’t here today. Kiyo wanted her Grandaughter for the night. You obliged, letting your Mother-in-law whisk Reina away. Was she even your mother-in-law anymore?

“So nothing?” Satoru prods, and you wonder why he’s so persistent on the answer. Maybe he wants to tease you.

The differences between you and him are staggering. He’s young, still in his twenties, he probably still goes out clubbing, drinking, whatever kids his age are into. You are...older, a mom, unsure if the tight skirts you wore 15 years ago would still fit you.

“If you don't got any plans, why don’t you hang out with me tonight?”

You stare at him.

“Don’t gimme that look. You act like I’m gonna rob you.” He complains. “Let yourself loose a bit. What do you even do for fun, these days?”

That stumped you. Apart from lounging around, sulking, job hunting, revolving around Reina, you haven’t done much. When’s the last time you talked to someone other than Satoru?

“There’s a bar that opened up. Not too far from here.” He muses. “Wanna go?”

You hesitate, “I—I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m not good at handling alcohol—”

“Same! Total lightweight.” He gushes. “It’ll still be fun, though! What do you say?”

Why, you want to ask. Why is he so insistent on spending time with you. Asking about you. About Reina. What does he want from your broken family? Your mind can’t piece together the images—connect the dots.

“Okay,” you say instead.

Three hours later, you’re dressed in the most flattering clothing in the back of your closet. Satoru looks pristine as always, and you wonder if there’s ever a chance he could look any less put together. Under the dim lights, he’s almost glowing. You can’t stare at him for too long.

The conversation is light, not too purposeful. You wander from one topic to the next. He talks about his co-workers. His school. You’ve always wondered about this teaching job. He seemed to never want to shut up about his students, but whenever you try to pry about the details, he starts to drift away. The most you’ve gotten from him was rambling about how it was a private religious school before he sprung into something else.

“Did you have any pets?” He asks, “Growing up, I mean.”

You shrug. “There were a lot of stray dogs, in my hometown. We would feed them, but no. No pets.”

“You?” You prod.

He takes a moment, genuinely thinking.

“My family had a dog, not too long after I was born. After that, nothing.” You were surprised, he answered. The alcohol must make his lips a little looser.

“I think having a dog would be nice,” you muse, mostly to yourself, “maybe an older one. Less energy.”

“What pet do you think I should have?” He asks.

You stare at him. He’s grinning.

“A rock,” you respond, and when he laughs, you laugh a bit, too.

“I like it when you smile like that,” he says when his voice recovers. “You get all blushy.”

You frown, discretely checking your face in the glass.

“I don’t blush.” You say. “My skin’s too dark.”

He tips his sunglasses down, staring at you with those pretty blue eyes. You shift away. His gaze doesn’t let you get far.

“Not really,” he murmurs, tilting his head. “It’s subtle, but it’s still there. It’s a nice color.”

He’s teasing you. You know that. Still, you look away. He laughs again. It sounds like twinkling bells.

“How’s everything holdin’ up with the house?” He asks when you’re nursing your 3rd drink. “I know you had a couple of issues earlier.”

You shrug, lips loose, feeling warm. “I don’t think I have to worry about it. Not anymore.”

“Hm? Why’s that?”

“I’m thinking of going back home.”

He stops messing with his drink. You don’t notice, thoughts hazy.

“Back...to your country?” Satoru asks carefully.

You nod absentmindedly. “I only came here because of Satoshi. Now that he’s...I think it’s best for Reina if we go back.”

You want her to live with her maternal culture. You want her to meet your side of the family finally. Maybe, when she’s older, you can put her in your old dance garments. She’ll probably hate it, much like you did. She’ll be good at it, much like you were.

He’s silent, swirling his glass.

“Really?”

“Yes.” You feel defensive, even when you shouldn’t be. His tone was cool. Yours wasn’t. “It—it’s her home. She should see it.”

“Wasn’t she born here?” Satoru questioned. “Wouldn’t Japan be her home, then?”

You deflate.

“You’re right.” You admit. “Japan is her home, but it isn’t mine.”

You miss home. You miss the village. You’d do anything to go back to the good old times. You’d do anything to be away from this pain.

Japan was empty. Your in-laws barely tolerate you. No friends. No job. The only good memories you had were buried in a tomb, and even those rotted away by lies and deceit.

“I think you should stay,” Satoru says, voice soft.

“Why?” You ask. “I have nothing here.”

“You could.”

You look up. In the dim lights of the bar, he’s breathtaking. Everything you weren’t.

And that everything closes the distance between you and him.

It’s soft. Barely a kiss. His lips are soft; you can smell his shampoo. It lasts for a moment before you’re breaking it. You shy away, staring at the floor beneath you. Your shoes. You can hear your heart. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Satoru follows your mouth. This time, it’s bolder. You can feel his warmth, pressed against your frigid soul. He’s melting you down to bone. There’s a hand on your back, keeping you in place. Fireworks spark at the touch.

It’s been so long since you’ve felt someone like this. Not since...

And then you remember who you’re with, what you’re doing. The ring sits heavy on your finger.

You push away. Satoru falters, and you use that opportunity to stumble to your feet.

“I’m sorry,” You say, “I—I’m—”

You don’t know what to say, so you say nothing. Instead, you turn and flee out the bar. Into the cold frigid night.

You’re drunk. You can feel it in your fingertips, the way your vision gets the slightest bit dizzy when you move too fast. You cling against a random lightpost, checking your phone.

Your place wasn’t that far away. You could walk, right? But it would be safer to call a cab. Better yet, call Kiyo. Call your neighbor. Call anyone?

Oh, you just remembered that you have no one here.

Satoru finds you when you’re already crying. You can feel him on your shoulder before he even says anything.

“Hey,” he says, reaching for you, “c’mon. Let’s get out of the street—”

“Why?” You whirl onto him, so fast that even he’s surprised. “Why are you doing any of this? Reina, me, why do you care so much?”

You’re still crying, but you can feel your tears slow down the tiniest bit. You weren’t breathing. You don’t think he was either.

Satoru opens his mouth. Closes. Opens again. His smile is gone. You can see the imprint of your lipstick on his perfect pout.

“I love you.”

It feels like he just slapped you. A knife in your belly, tearing you apart. Nausea builds in your throat, threatening to spill all over the road. You can’t look at him anymore, it hurts too much. Betrayal. You’re betraying your husband. Your dead cheater husband. 

“Stop.” You beg him anyway, “Don’t say that. Never say that, I can’t think–”

“—Then don’t think.” He insists, sweet, saturated. “Don’t think about any of this.”

He kisses you again, and your mind blanks. You let him this time, and you feel yourself break over it.

This time, Satoru’s the one who breaks it, resting his forehead on yours. You still must look confused. He laughs adoringly.

“C’mon this can’t be too out of left field, right?” He asked. “I mean, I made it pretty obvious.”

He had. You were too preoccupied in your own misery to notice. Offers to drive you to the grocery store. Volunteering to take care of another man’s baby. Satoru has always been direct.

You avoid his gaze, but there’s no where to go.

“Satoru,” you hesitate. “I—I don’t feel that way.”

“I know.” He concedes, trailing his lips down your cheek. You don’t stop him.

“But you need this.” He kisses your neck. “I know you do. You’re so stressed all the time, hm? You need me. Use me. However, you want to.”

Use him. You’ve always used him. What difference would this make?

You still had a chance to stop this. There were so many reasons to stop. You were a recent widow. A single mother. He was so much younger than you—

You kiss him again to stop thinking.

You don’t know what time you stumble through your door.

Satoru hasn’t stopped touching you in the cab, walking up to your patio. If you were sober, you might have been a bit more hysterical about it, now you just wanted him never to stop.

He’s pushing you against the door, slamming it shut with your body weight. You can barely get the words out past his plush lips.

“Bedroom.” You insist.

He pulls away with a laugh. “’course, Babe.”

You’re not sure how to feel about that petname, but you don’t get a moment to complain. He’s effortlessly picking you up, and you settle on the cool comforters moments later.

Your dress is halfway up your thighs. He spares no time, reaching for the back and finding the zipper. It falls apart in his fingers. He peels the fabric off of you with a delighted sigh.

“Fuck, look at you,” he’s saying to the newly uncovered skin. “so so pretty.”

Not used to the attention, you shy away. He doesn’t let you, taking you by the chin so he can kiss you again.

He’s so different now. You feel like you’re seeing a side of him you aren’t supposed to. Long white lashes, pretty blue eyes that are drenched in want and lust. His breathing was elevated. He was excited.

It scares you.

“I...I haven’t done this in a while.” You admit when you pull back. You give him a glance, before resigning yourself to pull away the rest of the dress and dropping it to the floor. “So...Please be nice?”

You sound like a child, unsure and nervous. You hate that you can’t keep the tremor out of your voice.

“Yes, yes.” He’s nodding, staring at you like a drooling dog. “I’ll be so so nice, baby. The nicest. Just lemme’ touch you. Please, please, pretty please?”

You give a tiny nod, and he’s pouncing on you.

He’s insatiable, you don’t think he’d ever get enough. He’s pawing at your bra before it comes off completely beneath his touch. Your panties are gone too, and then you’re entirely bare beneath him.

He doesn't forget about himself, neither do you. Between his ravenous kisses, you manage to take off his jacket. Satoru helps you with his shirt, pulling it off him, showing his toned abs and pale skin. Not a single mark or blemish. He’s absolute perfection.

He must notice your hesitant fingers at his shoulders because he stops sucking on your neck with a distinct pop, still playing with your tits, leaning over to whisper in your ear.

“Touch me,” he says, “I want you to touch me.”

You feel awkward pulling your fingers down to his chest, his stomach. His skin is soft, warm. Your hands are frigid. He shivers when you graze over his abs. His skin is so pale, almost translucent. If you were to pinch him, bite him, the color would show oh so nicely.

When you pull away, he whines, nearly falling over.

“Don’t fucking tease me like that.” The way he says it is so needy. You laugh, gaining the courage to play with his hair.

He gets the control back eventually, pushing you back down so he can devour you properly.

His face is between your legs before you can comprehend it. He’s spreading you open so he can see your pussy. You’re already creaming for him. Your pussy juice is spread across your lips, making your skin glisten and shine. It’d be embarrassing if he wasn’t worse, drooling like a fucking dog before his mouth meets your cunt in a frenzied kiss.

He gives this high-pitched moan that sends a thrill up your spine the more he makes out with your clit, licking and sucking.

“Oh.” You sink against the pillows. “Satoru—Satoru-!—”

“Fuck yes—” his voice is muffled but he doesn’t stop. “You taste so good, baby. like—like fuckin’ heaven—”

You almost double over when his teeth graze your clit. Your hand reaches out immediately to grab and his hair and pull.

It does nothing. He just whines, and when he digs deeper into your pussy, you realize he likes it when you hurt him.

You pull harder and his finger presses its way into your wet hole and just the right angle to make you see stars.

“Fuck baby, ‘can barely fit my fingers.” It would sound like a complaint if he didn’t sound so far gone already. “How are we gonna fit my cock into this pussy, hm?”

He talks too much. When you shove his face deeper into your folds, it seems to shut him up and he’s back to worshipping your dripping cunt.

He’s too good. It’s all so good. You’re squeezing his head between your thighs, sure you’re suffocating him but he doesn’t seem to care. The noise is downright scandalous but you’re too far gone to give a shit about that.

It felt so good to stop thinking.

“Close.” You gasp when you hit that plateau. “I’m close. I’m—”

“Gonna cum?” he asks from underneath you, and it only seems to spur him on. “Gonna cum for me, pretty girl. Cum baby. Just let go. I gotcha’ just please please please—”

It hits and you arch your back, letting your orgasm rush past your body. It fizzes up your spine, right to your tits before you sag back to Earth. Satoru is more that happy to work you through your high before your thighs fall apart against him and he’s detaching himself from your clit with one last part kiss.

Satoru kisses you, famished. You can barely kiss back, following his lips with your own. You can taste yourself on his tongue. It’s a tangy sweetness, warmed from his spit.

“Was I nice?” Satoru asks.

You nod. He smiles.

He pulls back, sitting on his knees. You watch as he fiddles with his boxers, before pulling out his pulsing cock.

It’s not all that thick, but it’s the length that makes you shift, just the tiniest bit. He’s on the larger end. His cock looks puffy and dripping in a way that almost looks painful. He pumps himself a few times, and then you’re reaching out.

Satoru stops, watching as you rise from your earlier position, hand on his cock. Your hand is so much smaller than his, you can barely wrap your fingers around his base. He shivers at the touch, and by the time you’re fisting his cock he faltars, head falling into the crook of your neck.

“Too much?” You ask when he gasps.

“No.” He shakes his head. “No no. Keep going. Please don’t stop.”

That same whine again. Helpless and needy. When you squeeze him, he jolts.

And then you stop. You’re sure he’s about to complain but then you’re lowering yourself, keeping your eyes on him, and you give his cock a tentative lick.

You hadn’t done this in a while, and you weren’t all that sure if you could swallow all of him, but you try your best. You swirl your tongue around his tip, watching as he twitches. His cock jumps in your mouth and you have to hold his base to keep him still for you. He’s so sensitive. Every touch you give him seems to just make him even needier.

He rocks his cock into your mouth. You let him, watching as he babbles on and on.

“So so fucking good, baby.” He’s moaning, head flung back, like it’d be too much to keep looking at you. “Right—right there. Fuck fuck fuck.”

He cums fast, and it’s sudden. He’s barely holding his breath before he’s shuddering and he’s filling your entire mouth. There’s so much of it, you can’t possibly swallow it all. You mouth off his cock with a pop, pumping him until he starts twitching out of overstimulation.

Satoru is panting, still basking in that afterglow as you kiss him. He doesn’t seem too embarrassed about how quick he lasted. Then again, you don’t think he has the brainpower to feel anything right now other than pure lust. Pussydrunk, your brain gives.

You reach up, wiping away the tears collected in the corner of his eyes. A part of you wants to leave it there. He looks good like this. Pretty as an angel.

And then you look down and you see his cock has not gone down at all.

“Oh,” you murmur, “I see you’re healthy.”

“Mmh,” he says back, not exactly words but you’re not looking for a conversation right now.

Your pussy is throbbing. She wants more attention. You’re settling back into your original position as you watch Satoru rifle through his forgotten pants. He pulls out a familiar wrapper. You have to roll your eyes at his preparedness.

“You’re a bit too ready for this.” You note.

“Can you blame me?” He honestly asks. “I’ve been waiting for this for months.”

The casual admission makes you glance away. He laughs at your sudden shyness and you have to wonder how you didn’t see him before.

“Ready, baby?” He asks. This feels familiar, somehow.

He gives his cock two cursory pumps, and then he’s pushing himself into you.

It’s so much all at once. As wet as you were, his cock bullies his way into you with a fierce stretch. It’s enough to make you squeeze your eyes shut. Grin and bear it.

“Shit, you’re so fucking tight.” He curses. “How the hell did you fit a baby through here?” You can’t bring yourself to respond to his usual snark, so you claw at his back, raking your nails through his skin. He hisses and the pain seems to distract him into temporarily shutting up.

By the time, he sits his dick in your pussy, you’re close to breaking. You were right, he was way too big. Bigger than the one person you’ve always been with, so you’re not sure if you have a good gauge on size. Still, your brain short-circuits, and your eyes roll to the back of your head. Mind-numb.

He’s impatient this time, not giving you a chance to adjust before he’s clumsily pulling back out only to ram himself back in. You lurch, grabbing his shoulders to stabilize yourself from his sudden pace.

“Satoru—!” You gasp. “It’s—!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He’s apologizing, but you’re not quite sure how much he actually means it. “I’ve—I’ve just waited so—ah—long and now you’re here and it’s so—”

If it’s even possible, he gets even faster, pushes his cock even deeper into your battered pussy. The squelching of your hole and his whines into your ear make it so much more erotic than it needs to be. You give into your desire, reaching over to sink your teeth into the soft flesh of his neck. The masochist in him purrs in delight.

You notice it first. That familiar soreness in your tits. When you glance down, your nipple is leaking that familiar milky fluid.

Satoru notices too. He stops, sinking his dick entirely into you. You’ve never felt fuller.

“Oh.” You feel heat creep up your neck. You hadn’t fed Reina today, this was bound to happen. “I—I’m sorry. I—I should’ve—”

You expect him to pull out of you awkwardly. Maybe even be disgusted.

Instead, he groans.

“I’m getting dessert now, too?”

“What?”

As your answer, he leans down and latches onto your tit.

He’s messy, smearing milk all over your skin and the other breast. After a while, he picks up his pace again, resuming his pussyfucking. You’re sure the angle must be painful, him bent over you like this, but he makes no complaint. And you could care less about his discomfort right about now.

He alternates between your breasts like he can’t decide which one tastes better. It shouldn’t feel this good, watching him suckle on your tits but you can feel yourself get even tighter. He can feel it, too.

Satoru’s rambling now. You can barely keep up with his incoherent mess.

“Fuck—fuck, you’re close, arentcha’?” he’s slurring his words, spitting them out one after another. “C’mon baby, you wanna cum? Cum, then? Milk my cock, pretty baby. Just like last time.” You should be paying more attention to his words. You don't.

Everything feels like deja vu. You should be paying attention to your own words too. You don’t.

“Mhn.” You moan. “Close. Sato, I’m close. Real real close—”

Your eyes widen. So does his.

You think you just ruined everything.

And then he starts jackhammering himself into you.

“Say it again.” He demands, driving his cock deep into your cunt.

You shake your head, despite your refusal you can’t help but— “Sato, oh God. Please Sato—Don’t—”

“Again, say it again.” His fingers descend to your clit, messily rubbing tiny circles. “Don’t stop saying my name until you’ve cum.”

You obey. Sato, Sato, Sato, Sa—and then you’re tipping over the edge. He fucks you through it, keeping you on that high until he’s shuddering too.

“Fuck baby, I missed you.” He’s whispering in your ear. “I missed you so much.”

You sigh when he kisses you, still coming down to Earth. The kiss his soft, just filled with want, instead of that carnal desire. He pulls away, and just when you’re debating to let him stay the night, he’s pulling out new rubber.

“Another one?” You ask, the dots not quite connecting yet.

“Oh, c’mon.” He grins down at you. “You didn’t think we’d go for just one round, did ya?”

You’re finally back in his arms.

Satoru dreamed of this day. He’s dreamt of this for months, ever since he had to leave you with that scumbag. Now that you’re sleeping peacefully in his arms again, everything is finally right in his world.

He shifts, wanting to bring you closer to his chest, but he winces. Fuck, you really did a number on him. He didn’t know you were into biting. And he can feel the pleasant sting of your nails on his back. He’d need to be careful with his RCT for a while. He wants these marks to last for as long as possible.

And when they fade, he’s sure he won’t have to convince you too much to make more for him.

“Give...them...back.”

Oh right. He’d almost forgotten about that other tiny problem he had.

He turns to the curse. “So, enjoy the show?”

Satoshi is unrecognizable. Malformed, demented. No more eyes, tall enough to reach the ceiling. To a being like Satoru, he was still nothing.

To a non-shaman and an infant, a grade 2 curse was quite the hassle. No wonder your so exhausted these days. Your husband was cursing you.

“Give them back.” The curse rasps. “Give them both back.”

Satoru’s silent, as if he’s really thinking about it.

“Nah, I’m good.” He grins. “This one’s mine now. And about Reina...what do you think suits me best: Dada or Daddy?”

The curse roars. It’s loud enough to shake the walls. Satoru tsks.

“Careful there. You might wake the missus.” He points out.

“Mine...” Satoshi insists. “They were....mine.”

“Were.” Satoru enunciates. “And now, they’re all mine! Sorry about the change in management. Don’t worry, though. I’ll take great care of both of ‘em.”

Always wanting to have the last word, Satoru reaches over and plucks your wedding ring off your limp finger.

“So, that’s where you got attached.” He muses at the metal. “Can’t believe you’re pathetic enough to curse your own wife. Is this 'cause you're still mad about the execution?" He asks, twirling the ring in his palm. "That happened months ago, man, get over it."

A snap of his fingers. Satoshi is gone. The room gets less stuffier. You relax in your sleep, and Satoru is caressing your arm, still studying the ring. It’s cheap. Plated gold with a less valuable metal as the base.

Pathetic. He tosses it carelessly.

A few months later, Satoru proposes with a proper engagement ring.

You say yes.

[avatarkv]

EVERY CORNER OF THIS HOUSE IS HAUNTED. (2)

Synopsis ! Jake had taken you as his own after Tsu'tey's passing, leaving no one to care for you. Things had been good before your relationship with him had blurred along growing of age. You and him fought all the time; argued each other's ear off and tonight was no different-- except words have been said, severing the already damaged bond. Content & warning Jake sully x Daughter!Reader, Sully kids x Sister!Reader Neytiri x Daughter!Reader. (wc: 5264)

You swung your legs over the edge, feet ghosting just above the calm lake that surrounded this part of the forest. It was a bit far from the village, but you felt more at ease knowing that you wouldn’t be found easily. This was your own place and ironically enough, a spot you and Jake had found years ago. You could see the familiar marks left from the arrows you had shot, deeply engraved in some of the trunks. 

One drawing had caught your eye. From one of the trees, a bit taller than the rest; an image of you and your father. It was silly, clearly etched by the hands of a kid no older than six. The lines were harsh as the wood itself was tough, but it was there– almost mockingly. You scoffed, mindlessly grabbing a pebble and flinging it right on the center. 

You have barely moved since you arrived here; detached yourself the moment you had sat near the jagged rocks. It was a habit you presumed you got from Jake. The longer you stayed, the more you succumbed to your ever-bleeding wounds– there was just something so tragic about being an eldest daughter.   

You weren’t all bite, despite the constant snarl on your lips. You weren't so egotistical as to think that you couldn't possibly be wrong, but tonight, tonight you knew damn well Jake was to blame. 

‘Is it because I’m not your daughter?’ 

Your own voice had rang through your mind. You wince in response, cringing internally. That could very well be the case– you weren't part of their family. You can’t help but think that they may have done it out of pity. 

But Kiri wasn’t exactly their own either. In fact, you and Kiri weren’t at all opposites at birth.

While you came from Tsu’tey, she was from Grace; both of you from separate blood and brought together by one. However you weren’t exactly close to Eywa or have the skills she possessed. Kiri was undeniably special– spiritual and awfully attuned. Heck, she had managed to tame her own ikran simply by asking it to be her friend. 

Still, there was no reason for Jake to treat you differently. You were jealous– of course you are. If he’s able to be as gentle as he is with your baby sister, why couldn’t he with you? It was a sickening thought, to think that he acts so rigid and unrelenting around you while he looked at her like she had hanged every star in the night sky. Sure Kiri was special, but you were at least his daughter too. Can’t he spare you even just a second of a loving glance?

With Kiri, he listens intently– looks at her with such tenderness as he takes in her every word. It was the same gaze he wore whenever we visited the sky-people lab; Jake would stare a bit too long at Grace, expression somewhere along the line of reminiscing. Whenever he had moments like these, his eyes would hold some sort of longing– a promise. Perhaps it was because Grace meant the world to him– literally. She taught him everything about Pandora, showed him the way of the Na’vi; gave him another shot at living. 

Kiri was exactly like her mother; wise and cunning. Jake probably sees Grace in her very image.  

You’d think this would be the embodiment of every father with their daughters; kind and vulnerable, but you would argue otherwise. When he looked at you, it was more of regret– grief prolonging. It was a gaze so ugly and unwanted; a weight you’re not supposed to carry. 

Because you’re exactly like Tsu’tey and Jake sees him in yourself. 

It was no secret that Jake was softer when it came to Tuk and Kiri. While you are relieved that it had been that way, you can never pray for them to experience the struggles you are burdened with– it tugged on your heartstrings that you would never feel the warmer side of your father; will never know how it feels to be babied nor to be held gently. 

You were her daughter too so you didn’t understand. What made you any different from them that you had to pretend his love was hidden beneath his icy glares and dismissive grunts? These were emotions nonetheless– however odd or minuscule they may have been. You thought that maybe, just maybe, there’d be a crack to this exterior. Maybe if you tried harder, Jake would soften up to you too. 

But that wasn’t the case because he never did. You had picked apart pieces of yourself that you thought weren’t pleasing– did better despite your age. You were young and only yearned for your father’s approval. 

( “You’re not doing it right. Again.” 

As you stretched your already sore arms for the nth time, ready to take aim, his hands tug on your stance– a bit harsher than intended. Light continued to glare down on your figure as you tirelessly corrected your posture again. Your ears pricked up at the sound of your sibling’s laughter, coming to you from afar. You stole a glance at them as they continued to play and enjoy themselves by the water, their childish exuberance highlighted by their splashing around in the shallow waves.

“Can’t I take a break?” You whined, dropping your stiff shoulders. Hearing them have fun made you want to jump in as well. 

“I didn’t let you talk my ear off just to give up. Come on, you promised me a bullseye today, baby girl.” He said, eyebrows furrowing a bit. You look down to your feet, a bit embarrassed. You didn’t want him to not take you seriously– you fear that if you let him down now, he wouldn’t let you do anything again. “Just one hit and I’ll let you off–”

His head turns sharply towards Kiri as she calls out for Jake, asking him to join them in their game. He can't help but to let out a small chuckle as he yells back a short response of ‘in a minute.’

“Again, come on.” His hands move quickly and firmly grasp your arms, helping you back to the same position before. “I’ll be watching, promise.” With a light tap on your shoulder, he rushes off, chasing after your siblings towards the water.

The quicker you got it done, the sooner you would be able to play. You pulled on the string again and released a heavy sigh before releasing the arrow. After several tries of firing shots that missed their mark, you finally managed to hit dead center with one shot. Your eyes widen in surprise, disbelief crossing your face before you jump excitedly, “Did you see that, dad? Did you–”

Your yell was instantly drowned out by Lo'ak's hearty laugh. You couldn't help but feel deflated as you watched your father lift him up onto his shoulders while the others trailed behind them in a fit of giggles. You run towards them, bow in hand. 

“You weren’t watching–” You tried to pull his hand in your direction, gesturing towards the arrow that was still firmly embedded into the red ring you had created on the trunk of the tree.

"Ah, darn, I missed it?" He said between breathy chuckles as Kiri tried to tug on his tail from behind, barely taking note of your work. "Why don't you do it again? This time I'll be sure to pay attention."

“But I want to play with you now.” 

“Dad– Neteyam caught something! It’s huge, come look!” Jake slowly lowers Lo'ak from his shoulders, letting them pull him towards where Neteyam stood. The children squealed at the sight of the fish (with Kiri letting out a few disgusted gags), but Jake reveled in pride. “Yeah, Neteyam, the mighty fisherman!”

You stayed still on the shore watching them– watching him. It was so easy to lose your father’s attention despite your best efforts. You retreated back to your spot, eyes glaring at the arrow sticking out from the tree. If a single bullseye wasn’t enough to impress Jake, then you’d just have to perfect your aim. Your hits will never miss again and you’ll make him proud.) 

You were clueless. If only you knew that there was no satisfying your father, you would’ve spent the days tirelessly training to play instead– to be an actual kid without having the worries of a grown adult. 

You could leave. At the thought of it, your head swiveled towards the unfamiliar path that would take you away from the clan– away from everything you know. You could leave and never come back; take your father’s name and build your own person. There was this selfish thought pricking at the back of your brain that once they noticed your absence, everyone would look for you and even feel sorry for what they put you through; that Jake would be sorry to lose you. 

You wonder what kind of reputation you'd leave for him when everyone realizes you had run away, never to come back. But it was unfair– your mother would be devastated. Neytiri had already gone through enough, were you worth another heartbreak? She didn’t deserve that. 

Suppose you could only dream that Jake would put on an effort for a search party– for him to grow hopeless and regretful while searching for you. You could only dream that he’d run towards you, arms wide open. “You scared me, sweetheart. I thought I lost you. I’m sorry, dad’s sorry.” 

But you’ve been away for hours and no one has reached out yet. They probably assumed that you only needed some time and space to clear your head, not seeing any cause for alarm. The only thing that waited for you back home was a hell of a scolding and a week’s punishment of tending the ikrans. Sighing, you decided to just head back.  

Your steps are careful– silent, as you near your hut again. You expected for the worst. Neytiri could have told Jake to stay guard outside until you finally decided to come home for all you know, but you weren’t ready for another heated conversation with him just yet. So as you make your way back, you stick your neck out behind the bushes, trying to make out of the surroundings. 

Surprisingly, it wasn’t Jake that was waiting outside. It was Kiri. Her figure glows underneath the starry night and it was hard not to be discouraged, but you suppose it was better than having to deal with your father again. 

"Kiri?" You called out in a low voice, and instantly her head snapped up. She quickly jumps to her feet upon seeing your arrival, heart racing as she rushes towards you. Without hesitation, she wraps her arms tightly around you in a hug. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath to try and steady herself. “Oh great mother, thank you.”

You tentatively put your arms around her in response, hands patting the top of her head. “This isn’t the first time I ran from home,” Your voice is soft– unsure. 

Feeling your hesitance, she slowly withdraws from you. “But it’s the first time sempul has said something so..” She stops herself mid-sentence, shaking her head as if to clear away her thoughts. “I worry you’d finally want to leave.” 

You stared at her, feeling your insides soften. You could never get angry at Kiri, no matter the situation. You couldn’t just leave. She was your sister still and no one would ever understand you like she does. No one will ever grow you another sibling. As much as you hated yourself, you were meant to watch as she thrives.  

Siblings were such a weird concept; it was hard for you to wrap your head around it. Despite the fact that you could hate them with every fibre of your being, you’d still love them unconditionally and protectively; despise them but burn down the whole universe for their safety. It made no sense to be so full of such strong, conflicting emotions all at once, but she was your sister and that was enough explanation.

“Stupid eywa-powers.” You joke as you take your index finger, lightly pressing it against her forehead. She playfully swats your hand away with a laugh, eyes crinkling.

She silently murmurs, “Not stupid” to herself, a small laugh escaping her lips.

You two slowly sat on your wicker chairs in front of the fire. The seat creaked as you made yourself comfortable. Jake was real handy with his hands back then– made all sorts of things for everyone. Wooden Toruks, comfortable hammocks, and each one a special chair. Everyone’s name was etched on the back and although it was a bit smaller now, considering it was made for when you were toddlers, no one had grown out of sitting on it. 

You smiled at the memory. It was like tradition for the Sully family– a silly one, but loved nonetheless. He first made you the wicker chair and although it was rather flimsy, you argued that Neteyam should have one as well when he came around. 

It was so conflicting– to be able to remember your father was mean, despite being kind, then to know him as kind, despite being mean. You fear Jake could be every word you think of but the word father. 

“Remember that time when we played hide-and-seek and we all thought Lo’ak cheated by hiding back at home only to find out we left him at the forest?” Kiri spoke, eyes fixated at the flames. 

You chuckled, “Yeah, even dad was in on it– told us not to tell mom that we left him.”

“Oh– and that one time they left us to Mo’at to have their little dates and came home to see grandma knocked out and her hut a mess?”

You laughed, rather loudly this time. You remembered the memory like it was yesterday– little Neteyam wrapped from head to toe in bandages as you two tried to play healers; pastes and herbs were scattered everywhere while Lo’ak was playing to his own devices happily (something about kid Lo’ak and wanting to play alone most of the time). “Lo’ak and his lisp trying to explain why he was covered in warrior paint all over his body.”

“Ki-ti told me to do it!” Kiri squeaked out in her best impression of Lo’ak, before both of you burst into smothered laughter— careful not to wake anyone up. After taking a few moments to catch your breath, the area was silent once more. There was no sound other than the crackle of the fire, its flame illuminating the darkness in the vicinity. 

“I’m trying to see the situation in both perspectives,” She starts once the quietness grows unbearable. You averted your gaze, not wanting to talk it out with her.

“I really don’t wanna talk about it, Kiri.” You threw your head back, your eyes burning a hole into the night sky.

“I just don’t want it to explode like what happened a while ago again.” 

You kiss your teeth and let out an exasperated sigh, tongue clicking as you exhale. Deep down you knew that there was no getting out of this situation, so you may as well hear what they had to say. “Fine. What’s your diagnosis, doc?” 

The flap of the hut's entrance is suddenly thrown back, revealing a rather disoriented looking Lo'ak stumbling out. It's clear he had just been stirred from his slumber. “You two aren’t as quiet as you think you are.” He said, his voice low. He made his way over to Kiri and sat down beside her with an audible yawn. “What is it this time?”

“Eywa tells me of your troubles,” Kiri starts, ignoring Lo’ak. “Father isn’t at all the greatest, I know, but he’s trying– His choices aren't really the best, but it’s what he knows. If you think about it, he was just as young once and you don’t exactly become a father twice.” 

“What are you saying?” 

“She’s saying– cut him some slack, maybe?” Lo'ak breaks the stillness with an unexpected remark, his voice quite loud in comparison to Kiri's careful words. His comment catches you off guard and you shift your position uncomfortably on your seat.

“Brother, you really have to stop going out with Spider. You and your lingo is getting harder and harder to discern.” Kiri jabs him from the side, “What he means to say is– maybe you should try being the bigger person instead?”

You let out a deep breath through your nostrils, not enjoying the direction of the conversation. Your brow crinkles in concentration as you try to make sense of why the discussion was taking this turn. You had no desire to pick apart the problem any further and yet, here you were– perhaps Neytiri told them to talk some sense to you? To quiet down for the sake of your old man?

Already sensing your anger, Lo’ak quickly interjects again. “Listen, It’s like,” He turns to you, the grogginess in his expression fading away and being replaced by something more serious. “If dad happens to reprimand us, we save our excuses or any reason we have. The response he wants is an apology and an apology is what you’re going to say– that’s it.”

“But that’s unfair.” You let out a groan, lips turning into a deep frown. “Especially to you and Neteyam.”

Lo’ak only lets out a playful scoff, as if he’s trying to lighten the mood. “You mean, especially to Neteyam. Bro’s an automated machine– expect him to immediately take the blame.” He says, grinning. “I think dad is just.. cracking the code still? Shit, I don’t know. He had to learn to live on two different stars. It must be hard on him.”

“Doesn’t it hurt you? Trying to understand someone older?” 

Lo’ak stills for a minute as heavy silence envelopes everyone. “Of course it does. It stings a lot sis– but I think, no parent deserves a resentful son when all they wanted was for me to be better.” 

Then it crashes down upon you like a heavy sack filled with rocks, a realization pressing directly against your chest as you watch Lo’ak’s face, illuminated against the flicker of the flames– the lights cast an image you failed to recognize before. Your brothers weren’t exactly immune to Jake’s ways either. He was equally as tough on them. 

Maybe you can try for their sake. Maybe you should take the initiative instead of waiting for your father’s open arms. 

“Why don’t you join us tomorrow instead? Take your mind off things. We’re visiting the old shack with Spider,” Lo'ak's hand carefully reaches for your hair, the tips of his fingers ruffling through your braids– a gesture he picked up after Neteyam. You chuckle, suddenly slightly embarrassed. 

“Isn’t it dangerous?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed. 

“It is,” Kiri answers for Lo’ak, giving him a pointed glare. “Tuk heard about it and is begging to come along.” 

“More like blackmailed me– I’ll tell mom if you won’t let me come.” He put on a mocking impression of Tuk, sticking his tongue out in an exaggerated way. Kiri gave him another jab, causing him to hiss in response. “But it should be safe.” 

Kiri rolls her eyes. “We are so getting into trouble.”

“You guys go,” You say, back resting against the chair again. “Think I should fix the situation with dad first before getting in trouble again.” 

You feel Kiri’s eyes on you– gaze emitting a sense of gratitude, almost like a tangible thank you for trying. It’s funny how she’s younger than you and yet she looked out for you more than you had. 

You let out a deep sigh as the three of you settled in, reveling in the quiet serenity of the woods. The soft sounds of the forest enveloped you, providing a sense of calm that was hard to miss. Slowly, it lulled you all to a familiar kind of comfort. 

Breakfast was unsurprisingly silent. 

You felt like the room was full of robots, their limbs jerking and movements mechanically programmed as they ate. As everyone shifted ever so slightly, it seemed almost like they were doing it robotically - stiff and slow. It was like they were walking on eggshells around you and it was hard not to roll your eyes. 

It was painfully awkward– a hard watch as Jake tried hard not to make eye contact with you. Neytiri would occasionally jab him from the side and pinch the fat of his thigh. ‘Talk to her.’ – her glare would send him the message. 

He lets out a sigh before visibly gulping. “Y/n.” 

Your head suddenly jerks upwards from the bowl resting in your lap, startled by your father’s voice calling for you. Neytiri watches in anticipation while your heart pounded madly against your chest. Suddenly, the air fills with tension as all movement ceases. Not a single soul speaks or breathes– waiting.

“Pass the salt.” Jesus Christ. 

You give him a deadpan expression, stretching your arms over to pass it to him. He carefully takes it, shaking it over his already salty meal. Neytiri could only push her hands against her face in frustration, a groan of exasperation coming from deep within. After a few minutes, she finishes up and leaves with Tuk in her arms. The rest follow suit.  

“I’m off,” You finish cleaning up the table, standing up from your seat and grabbing the weapons you needed for an impromptu hunt. Without waiting for a reply, you left Jake alone on the table. 

As you trekked further into the forest, you prayed to Eywa for guidance. You were careful to smear the war paint onto your cheeks and forehead– breathing labored, but focused nonetheless. 

You figured, your father has been doing bad from the recent hunts– only coming home with fruits and small portions of meat, sometimes none at all. It was that kind of season where the animals were out to hide and hibernate. You didn’t know where you got the confidence that you’d be able to return with something, considering the best next best warriors could hardly do so. 

You had to try regardless; you thought that perhaps it could be a way for you and Jake to open up a conversation with each other. Maybe he could soften down his glare a bit when you come home with something to eat– but as hours passed and the sun burned to noon, you were only met with disappointment. 

You stopped by an unfamiliar area, leaning against a tree as you tried to catch your breath. You regret not bringing your ikran with you– just what were you thinking?

As if the great mother had noticed your desperation, a familiar sound roars from a distance. Your ears perked up as you tried to walk through the thick bushes. A lone sturmbeest, drinking by the river. You sighed in relief before hurriedly taking your bow out of your back. They mostly traveled by a herd, but today might just be your luckiest– you stretch your arms, carefully approaching the animal. 

Just this once, you pleaded, be in my favor. 

The journey home was dreadful. You had been carrying meat and a few bones for what seemed like hours on end, feeling the strain in your back from the task. It was a small sturmbeest– presumably female by the size, but it should be enough to provide meals for a week or so. Before you knew it, eclipse approached fast and you were eager to meet your hammock. 

You couldn’t see; unable to hold any form of light as you needed both hands to carry the heavy sack, but the thought of going home with something to proudly show your father rekindled the sense of pride that was long gone; a feeling you hadn't had in a long time– burned by the countless times you’ve tried to gain even a drop of recognition.

You were successful in hunting a sturmbeest when no one couldn’t for the past weeks– your father would be proud and that was all the strength you needed to continue waking. 

Noticing the familiar path back to the clan, a surge of adrenaline courses through your body from the thought of already nearing home. But as the horns blared from the village, you felt nothing but confusion– What could it mean and why this late? You quickened your pace towards them. 

Ikrans flew in, landing at the open space as everyone gathered around. You squeezed your way in through the crowd– stomach churning as the sound of Tuk's cries became more and more clear with every step; but before you could run to your baby sister, you were harshly pulled back. You immediately recognize your father’s calloused hands, but this time his grip was harsh– unrelenting. Careful not to trip on your feet, you steadied yourself, head looking up to meet his glare. 

“Where were you?” 

And just like that, your thoughts come crashing down around you from the sight of your father towering your figure, leaning in slightly. You feel it in the pit of your stomach; this wasn't what you wanted to come home to, this wasn't what you were expecting.

“Sir I–” 

“The kids are hurt,” Neytiri hissed, tugging him sharply away from you. “For once, hold your tongue.”

He gives you one last glance, nostrils flaring as he walks away. That was your cue to trail behind. You walked behind him, eyes cast downwards as your thoughts raced through your mind. Neytiri is quick to come and stand by your side, soft kisses pressed into the top of your head. “Are you hurt, ma’ite? Where were you?” She softly asks. 

You pause, feeling the words on the tip of your tongue leave the moment you try to open your mouth to speak. For some reason, you felt embarrassed— ashamed. 

“What happened?” You whispered as you neared your grandmother’s hut. You glanced back to your sibling’s shivering figures, all of them unable to look you in the eye. Neytiri didn’t answer either– didn’t know how to tell you that they had found them once again. They processed the severity of the situation still, clearly shaken up and scared. 

Everyone stepped inside, Mo'at immediately gathering each of them in a warm embrace. She spoke her thanks to Eywa in a gentle murmur, kissing the top of their heads. Neytiri quickly drew Tuk into her own arms, easing her shaking body. 

“Outside, now.” Jake whispers before leaving. You take one last look around at all the people in the room before finally following him, your palms beginning to sweat as your anxiety intensifies.

Once you both find yourselves in a place where there were no lingering stares or whispers, (and without Neytiri having to save your ass this time), he turns to you, anger just as fiery as before. He strides back and forth, feet heavy on the ground as he attempts to choose his words carefully.

“I–” He started to speak, but then averted his gaze, his jaw clenched tight as he tried again. “Where were you?” 

You try to swallow the lump forming in your throat as you mull over the question, taking a deep breath before finally attempting to answer. “I went out on a hunt. I have–”

“Without telling anyone firsthand? With scattered avatars over the perimeter?” Jake is quick to interject, arms flailing in anger. “Just what were you thinking? You knew about them going to the old shack and you did nothing to prevent it?” 

Your shoulders slump wearily, feeling extremely overwhelmed. “I only wanted to–”

“Jesus Christ, it’s always about what you want, yeah? You with wanting to be olo’eykte, you with wanting to be heard. You and your goddamn wants had us all worried!” 

And as you listen to him raise his voice, you turn younger and younger– until you were that same kid trying to tug on his arms to look at your first hit; that same kid who would do anything just for a moment of his time. It was like being ten years old all over again and realizing that he was slowly slipping away. That’s where you finally decided that Jake— your father, was just capable of unloving a child. 

You take a step back, feeling the frustration boiling over as well. “Well maybe if you were a better father, they wouldn’t have the need to go against you every once in a while!” You shouted with the same volume as his, “You act as if we’re some sort of troops rather than a family–”

“I do it for you– for everyone! To keep them safe! You think it’s easy?” 

“Well you did a pretty good job because from what I see, they’re shaking in their boots inside grandma’s hut!” You sarcastically remarked, “Best dad of Pandora, yeah?” 

“Jesus Christ,” He mutters under his breath before looking up, as if he was pleading for Eywa to lengthen his patience. He then looked at you, eyes momentarily softening. You were breathing heavily, fangs baring. It was funny, he thought. You weren’t his daughter and yet you stood in front of him now looking exactly like him. 

What he didn’t understand was that it wasn't Tsu’tey’s attitude that was passed down to you– rather, it was Jake’s anger you inherited. This was all him. All his fault. 

“I thought I had it good, having Toruk Makto as a father. Five year old me was the proudest, if not a bit boastful too.” You muttered, gaze not meeting his. “There’s this huge difference that draws the line between being the olo’eyktan and a father and you’re doing a real shit job at the latter.”

I miss the latter, you failed to say. 

You failed to see the way his ears flattened against his head, how his shoulders dropped like he couldn’t hold the weight of the world’s pressure anymore– but you were unable to see him. No, you two didn’t see each other eye to eye. To know that you failed your child was something a parent would never want to hear. His own daughter resented him and it was a heartache beyond repair. 

“You think you make parenting any easier for me?” 

“Then I wish you never took me in!” 

It was such a thoughtless thing to do; to utter words that you know will only harm you more than they would ever heal - but it was there, finally out of your system; a though that lingered for as long as you can remember. Why take me in? Why raise a kid you wouldn't be able to care for?

You only wished that words could be undone but neither of you knew when to bite one's tongue back.

“Yeah?” He challenged, letting out a mocking snicker. “I really wish I didn’t– is that what you want me to say? Then go ahead and leave. Find a new family, see if they won’t find you any less difficult.”

And that was the final blow– the push you needed to leave. You looked at him in disbelief, vision blurry with tears. You shoved the bag right to his chest, forgetting it momentarily amidst the shouting session you just had with your father; the one you desperately wanted to present to him. With nothing else to say, you stormed off, leaving him behind. 

Oh Eywa, there is nothing else as undoing as being an eldest daughter. 

believe me, i've been trying to post this since 7 am and it's already a quarter 'til 9. tumblr has got to b fucking w me bec i just ran through at least 4 problems trying to get this on my account

anyway, hellaur. i know this is a bit overdue, but i had to make adjustments because i just had to get everyone's inputs and opinions in! i absolutely LOVE everyone's ideas nd you best believe i am trying to make everything word (also bec of the fact that i am a slow writer, so pls bear w me) hopefully i'm doing the story justice! this part went through a lot of modifications bec i kept feeling unsatisfied (i still am, kinda)

also, i couldn't tag a few people! 'm so sorry, some of the names don't pop up when i type it down ;(

tags: @erm2020quinzeanos @al-lethan @violilaqrs @sparklyphantom @iwanttohitmyself @planetslove @teyamsjustsleeping @sully-stick-together @grandgreengrapes @erensbbg @queen-dk @loaklvr @theyoungeagle @ducks118 @teyyyteyyy @yeosxxx @simply-lovely78 @ellabellabus07 @thehoneymushroomhealer @saturdayrj @kingjulian0o9 @hippiezworldz @joemamalackin @random-3455 @zoetrope1997 @cl0esblogg @anxietydrogz @lokisfirstandlastwife @hiddensnow1 @lunyyx @pearlsandcoconuts @blkmystery @marsbars09 @gcldtom @luna-salem @wolflover384 @mushy-mushroom04 @whatthemonsterfuckisthis @eternalidentity @celi-xxmoon @dumb-fawkin-bitch

[dark-konohagakure2]

Could I request a Gaara X reader. Please

He sees her admiring his tattoo while at a neighbouring village, decides that noone will mind him taking her home with him. Gives her a matching tattoo somewhere on her body only he'll be able to see.

tw: dub/noncon, kidnapping, scarification, womb marking, possessiveness, power imbalance, breeding, obsession, abuse of power

All characters depicted are 18+

Gaara is somewhat insecure about his kanji shaped scar, having had it since he was a young boy, and he's never once been complimented on it, only pitied and mocked. So when he's visiting a small village on official business and a very cute villager girl expresses her admiration of his 'tattoo', it awakens something within Gaara.

Gaara is the Kazekage, and a respected one at that, so surely this tiny village wouldn't mind him taking a little souvenir with him, so that's exactly what he does. The red haired Sand shinobi feels a sense of contentment as he makes his way back home with his prize tucked snugly underneath his arm.

Despite his unconventional means of acquiring her, Gaara treats her rather kindly, doting on her and not letting her leave his side, and nobody bats an eye at the fact that the Kazekage suddenly has a woman they've never seen before at his side at all times. Gaara thinks it's fate, she complimented his biggest blemish, the mark of 'love' on his forehead, and he wants to give her one to match.

Gaara already knows exactly where he wants to leave his mark on her. He won't do it anywhere too visible, he wants it to be somewhere only he can see, so that it's a special secret just between the two of them, although it will hurt quite a bit.

"This mark means 'love', something very important to me... I'll give you the same mark right here, on your most precious spot, then we'll be bound together by our love forever... It only hurts for a moment..."

He'll use his sand to leave the kanji shaped scar just above her pussy and directly over her womb, marking her precious womb as his property and his alone. Gaara will even gently hold her hand in a comforting manner until the pain and her tears subside, although it doesn't take long before he finds himself getting a bit excited.

Now that he's marked her womb, he wants to fill it as well, claiming her body both inside and out. He needs an heir anyway, and he can't think of anyone more qualified to be the mother of his children then such a sweet and perfect girl who was able to see the beauty in something as nasty as a scar.

Gaara will be gentle despite the fact that he's practically forcing himself upon her, easing his cock in and out of her tight pussy, his face buried in the crook of her neck and he pants heavily and murmurs words of praise and love to her, his hips firmly yet gently grinding against her own.

This will go on for a very long time, taking hours until he's completely sure that he's thoroughly bred her full of his offspring before he finally pulls out of her, leaving her pussy leaking with his semen as he looks down at her with a gentle smile, a rare expression from the usually stoic Kazekage.

"Th-There... You did a great job, my love... I'm sure our children will be just as sweet and caring as their mother..."

Gaara is glad that he has found what he believes to be true love at long last after so much yearning for love, and he's not going to let her go anytime soon, and if she does get away, he wouldn't mind giving her another mark, just somewhere much more noticeable.

[misstycloud]

Ok so we know how the Cowboy yan reacts to an indifferent city girl reader…BUT…

How’d he react and handle a reader who’s a bit of a ditzy bimbo in the best way possible? (Think of Marilyn Monroe’s character from, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, if you’ve ever seen the movie. I really recommend it!)

Yandere cowboy x bimbo. reader

If reader was the stereotypical dumb, pretty girl, the cowboy would find it very endearing. He’s not the smartest one of the bunch himself, so he’d think it’s cute. If it was the other way around and reader being insanely intelligent, he’d still love them and tell her how sexy he finds it. However, he probably wouldn’t be able to help feeling unworthy since he’s more brawn than brain.

The cowboy would make it his responsibility to protect reader(he would no matter what but especially in this case). She’s too careless: trusting anyone who throws her a smile! It’s not safe. Reader is pretty too, so there’s a big chance some creep will become obsessed with her and stalk her. The cowboy doesn’t trust her to notice someone hiding in the bushes on her way home, following her every step. Of course he had to make sure she’s safe by walking at a safe distance behind her whenever she went home alone. Only so she’ safe, though. Not so he can drag his gaze over her form and imagine sinful fantasies involving both of them. And especially not so he can linger outside the bedroom window until the sun starts to rise.

It wouldn’t take long for him to start manipulating his darling. Every day there would be speeches on how only he truly cares for her, how everyone else tries to take advantage of her, of how she needs him.

If bimbo reader told the cowboy she had to leave the village and go back to the city, he would immediately convince her it’s not a good idea. From all the previous conversations, he has picked up enough information about her friends to come up with unlikely scenarios. He’ll say that they’re not her friends and that they’re obviously just pretending. From her stories about them, it’s clear that they treat her awfully. Why would she go back?

If that doesn’t work, the cowboy will activate the water work.

The poor, kindhearted bimbo reader can’t abandon someone so pitiful. The way he sobs and begs her to stay is seriously tugging on her heart strings.

In all, he wouldn’t treat her so differently compared to indifferent reader, except that he’s a bit more protective and thinks she’s naive and therefore need him. I mean, he’d think she needs him not matter what but this is in a more practical way. The cowboy would do everything for bimbo reader. Need some water? He’s getting a glass from the cupboard right now. Need to change the lightbulb? He’s the best at changing lightbulbs! You want some flowers in your garden? He’s out in the field plucking wild flowers and will even replant them for you.

With (for example) the indifferent reader, he would recognise that she wants to do things on her own and let her.

Not with bimbo reader though. She is too sweet, she might accidentally hurt herself.

[mydadleft471]

For The Love Of A Daughter

Summary: After getting caught looking for food to feed your daughter, Lord Messmer takes pity on you and extends mercy.

Spoilers for Elden Ring and Shadow of the Erdtree. Slight warning for descriptions of violence and death.

This was requested by anonymous! I'll link the request here. This was SO MUCH FUN. I've never really wrote anything involving young children before, so I'm going off of the scant interactions I've had with some younger family members. I've also never wrote for a GN! reader. It was easier than I thought lmao. Thank you for the request anon!

I'm really considering making this a series tbh! If you'd like to see more, please let me know! I could've spent the whole day writing but I need to go eat lmao. (I've been writing for 2 hours help)

As always, thank you so much for reading, liking, commenting, and reblogging! I haven't had this much fun writing in such a long time and it makes me so unbelievably happy that I'm able to write things that make other people happy. Hope everyone enjoys!

Your lungs were on fire.

You hadn’t stopped running from the moment you entered the Land of Shadow. A few Tarnished once accompanied you, but they had been slain and you had no choice to move on for your sake and hers.

The little girl carefully strapped to your shoulders was maybe about 4 years old. You’d found her in the rubble of an old village in Caelid accompanied by two corpses, most likely her mother and father. Her sweet green eyes pierced yours and you knew you couldn’t leave her there. You were never much of a fighter anyways. Your hands were gentle and steady and your nerves did not hold strong in the throes of battle.

She only had one thing with her: a golden locket with a piece of folded paper inside with the name Jasmine written on it. You were unsure if that was her name or her mother’s, but you called her that. You found it fitting for her.

Currently, you were running from a pack of armed men all wielding the same unnatural fire. You had carefully snuck up to a dark looking castle in search of any food you could find, when suddenly, guards had honed in on your position and you ran for it, not knowing if they would be kind to you and your child.

Booking it straight for a charred town, you tried to maneuver your way around its buildings to confuse the men chasing you. After randomly choosing directions to turn and heading down a few alleyways, you found your way to a staircase. You squeezed yourself down into it, hoping that you were out of sight to go unnoticed.

You heard the thundering of footsteps approach your position and you held your breath. Jasmine began to squirm from where she was attached to your shoulders, so you quietly repositioned her in your arms. Her little hands meekly clutched your arm; it had been two days since she had last had something semi-filling.

You froze as you heard the sound of clanking metal approaching you. A man ducked down and his eyes found yours, your heart nearly stopping. He shouted to alert the other guards and they soon surrounded you. You couldn’t see them, but you heard so many footsteps. You were found.

“Come out, or we’ll drag you out.”

Slowly, you slid yourself from your hiding place, clutching Jasmine to your chest defensively.

“Please, I beg of you, let me go. She’s hungry. I was looking for food, that’s all.” Your voice wavers at the sight of so many weapons.

“Lord Messmer will decide your fate. You will come with us.”

With your head hung low, you follow their orders. They search you for any possessions you might have, which is basically nothing but a half-empty waterskin and a dull dagger, and confiscate them. They eye Jasmine, looking for anything she might be hiding, but they don’t dare touch her. Mercifully, they allow you to hold her as they march you back to the blackened castle you ran from.

You make your way up what must be a thousand stairs and your legs ache from the amount of walking you’ve done. Slowing down causes a guard to firmly grab your shoulder and keep you going at a brisk pace. Jasmine hides her face in your shoulder and you try to calm her by rubbing circles into her back. You would promise her that it would be okay, but you can imagine her parents promising that same thing, and now they were dead and she was being carried into an unknown place.

If it came down to it, you’d beg for her to remain safe and allow them to kill you.

Finally, the guards stopped you in front of a large metal door. It was intricately decorated and instilled true fear into you. This must be where Lord Messmer resided

“You will show respect at all times. Speak only when spoken to, or we will put you to the sword.”

You merely nod in response, not willing to test how quickly they would kill you.

The doors open with a protesting creak and the metal slides against the stone floor with an unnatural sound. It grates your ears and you cover Jasmine’s to save her from the awful noise. Two guards flank your shoulders and tap your shoulder, signaling for you to move forwards.

The room is lit with a few candles shimmering in the stagnant air. It smells like sulfur and blood. The guards stop you and push down on your shoulders, and you kneel. Jasmine stays in your arms, small hands wrapped tightly around your neck.

“My Lord, we’ve found an intruder. They were scouring around the castle and fled when seen. They say that they were looking for food for their child.” The guard barks out.

You keep your head down, terrified to look up. 

“A child, here?” A new, lower voice cascades across the room sending shivers down your spine.

“Yes, My Lord.”

“A child does not belong in the Land of Shadow. Thou hast endangered them.” He doesn’t sound pleased. “Prithee, tell me thy reasoning for bringing one so fragile here.”

“I found her in Caelid, My Lord. Since then, we’ve been traveling with a group of Tarnished and our path led us here.” Your voice shakes as you speak.

“‘Tis not thy child in thine arms?”

You shake your head. “No, My Lord. She was in a ruined village, surrounded by rubble and rot. I couldn’t leave her there.” Your heart stings at the painful memory.

“Intriguing. What reason didst thou have to come to my castle?”

“As your guard said, My Lord. She is hungry. Food is not easy to come by here.”

“Dost thou remember when last she ate?”

“Two days ago was her last full meal. Since then, we’ve been living off of rowa fruits.”

Silence is your response, until you hear heavy footsteps approaching you. You squeeze your eyes shut and hug Jasmine tight. She trembles in your arms.

“The child has a name, I presume?” His voice is only a few feet away from you now.

“Jasmine, My Lord.”

He sighs. “How was thee treated by my men?”

“They didn’t take her away from me, My Lord. They never hurt us.”

He lets out what you assume is a sigh of relief. Something thumps against the ground making you jump. Out of the corner of your eye, you see the hilt of his weapon. You remember other Tarnished referring to Lord Messmer as the Impaler, and you shuddered in fear.

“Thy only crime is trespassing, but do not thinkest me heartless. Thou art forgiven, and I shall extend mercy unto thee.” His tone changes as he addresses one of his men. “They shalt be taken to comfortable quarters and attended by female staff only. Shall any man lay a hand upon the child, they shalt be killed immediately, without mercy.”

“Yes, My Lord.” The guard leaves the room quickly, probably thanking his lucky stars for permission to exit the room.

“Rise. Thou needn’t stare at the floors any longer.” His voice softens as he speaks to you.

With shaking legs, you do as he asks and you spare a glance in his direction. He towers over you, serpents coiling around his slender frame, and you notice he has one eye that glimmers a brilliant gold. His great spear is held firmly in his right hand.

“Thank you. Truly.” You do your best to bow in your current state. Without adrenaline, you’re extremely shaky. You almost collapse, but a serpent gently coils around your waist and holds you up.

“I shall have food sent to thine quarters immediately.” You can almost hear worry in his voice.

You nod and mindlessly pat the serpent holding you up gently. It nuzzles into your palm.

As if on cue, a female servant with deep brown hair enters the room and you see a smile work her way onto her face at the sight of Jasmine.

“Is this who you would have me attend to, My Lord?”

“Yes. They are exhausted and have been without proper food for days. Ensure they are looked after.”

The woman places a hand on your shoulder and the serpent withdraws itself from your waist. You feel extremely unsteady, but the woman is stronger than she looks. 

“Come on now, love. Let’s get you some food.” She hooks your arm over her shoulder and wraps her other arm around your back. 

Slowly, she guides you out of the stagnant room and towards your quarters. She keeps you upright and doesn’t allow you to sway.

“Lord Messmer has taken pity on you, truly. Usually, trespassers are not dealt with so lightly.” She explains to you.

You don’t desire to dwell on what your fate could’ve been, so you quickly change the subject. “Do you have a name?” You ask her and she smiles once more.

“Sianet. A pleasure to serve you.”

You reach your room and Sianet gently helps you inside, settling you on a large, extremely comfortable bed. She goes to shut your door, then grabs a large pitcher of water. She helps you drink, the cold water a welcome luxury.

“Would you like some, little one?” She holds out the glass to Jasmine who keeps her head tucked into your shoulder.

“Hey, it’s okay. You should drink some water. It’s cold.” You keep your voice steady and she slowly raises her head. Her eyes quickly scan around the room and she looks at Sianet.

“Hello, sweet thing. Do you have a name?”

You prepare yourself to answer for her, as Jasmine really only speaks to you, but you’re shocked when she replies on her own, her voice a meek whisper.

“My name is Jasmine.”

Sianet smiles wider, her white teeth almost blinding. “That’s a lovely name, Jasmine. Would you have some water for me?”

Jasmine nods and grabs at the glass. Sianet helps her drink, tipping the cup back slowly. Once she finishes drinking, the glass is put beside the pitcher on the table next to your bed.

“Your dinner should be ready soon. While we wait, shall I draw a bath for the little one?”

Jasmine’s eyes light up and she nods furiously. Sianet laughs and makes her way to the corner of the room, beckoning for her to follow. Jasmine looks at you with wide eyes.

“Can I follow her?”

“Go on. You stink.” She giggles and launches herself off your lap, toddling off after Sianet.

You flop unceremoniously onto the bed and shut your eyes. You had been wandering for so long that you almost forgot what a proper bed felt like. You remind yourself that you’re safe, even if only for a little while. You can relax and rest. You’ve earned it.

A sudden knock at the door interrupts your thoughts. You hear Jasmine and Sianet talking in the next room, so you make your way to the door yourself. Opening it, you are surprised to see Lord Messmer himself. His serpents flick their tongues at you, almost like a greeting.

“What can I do for you, Lord Messmer?”

“I came to ensure thy room was to thine liking.”

You smile at him. “I’ve never stayed somewhere so beautiful. I have no complaints, My Lord.”

His eye twinkles and he peers around you to look inside the room. You silently berate yourself for your horrible manners.

“My apologies, My Lord. Would you like to come in?”

“I shalt not invade thy privacy. Where hast thy child gone?”

“She’s currently taking a much needed bath. She’s okay.” To confirm your words, Jasmine lets out a delighted squeak. The corners of his lip turn up in a small smile.

“Sianet: is she to thine liking as well?”

“She’s very attentive and sweet. You don’t need to worry.”

He clears his throat. “Thy room is guarded well. If thou have need for anything, thou must only ask.”

“Thank you, My Lord. I hope you know how much this means to us.”

“‘Tis no matter. ‘Twould make me a monster to not attend to thee, especially the child.”

“Not that I’m not grateful, but… why are you helping us? Sianet told me that trespassers are usually not dealt with in such a manner.”

His expression falters a little. You worry you overstepped.

“Thou did not hurt my men. Thou did not invade my castle with ill intent.” He pauses, looking away from you. “And it hath been countless moons since a child has inhabited the Land of Shadow.”

“I see.”

Silence encompasses you both, and you take in the details of his face. He has strong cheekbones and a proud, regal nose. His golden eye shimmers in the dim candlelight around you.

“I shalt not bother thee any longer. Give my regards to thy child, and if thou hast need for anything, I permit thee ask.”

“Thank you, Lord Messmer. I’m lucky to have met you.”

His eye widens and a peaceful smile finds itself on his face. He looks handsome like that, you think to yourself.

He bows slightly and leaves you, his serpents coiling themselves around him as he gets further from your door. You shut it and sigh, returning to your bed. The mattress envelops you in a comfortable embrace, and you swear you could fall asleep now and not wake up for a few days. Exhaustion clings to your nerves and bones, and your eyelids grow heavy. You shut them and find yourself immediately succumbing to slumber.

“Wake up! Food’s here!” You’re rudely awoken by Jasmine bouncing excitedly on the bed. You groan and sit up, your body creaking in protest at the sudden movement.

“Alright! I’m up.” She giggles and grabs your hand, pulling you to stand.

Yawning, you do. Rubbing your eyes, you notice that Sianet is carefully arranging a table of food. The smell makes your mouth water. Jasmine runs to help her, her skin now cleaned and clothed in a new dress. Her little feet pad across the marble floors and you don’t remember ever seeing her so excited.

“Sleep well?” Sianet asks, turning her head to meet your gaze.

“Better than I’ve ever slept before. Until someone interrupted.” Jasmine giggles and runs behind a chair, hiding from your teasing.

“I am glad.” She dusts her hands off on her apron and stands back. “Your dinner is ready.”

“Thank you, Sianet.”

You make your way over to the table and sit down in one of the chairs. Just like your bed, it is extremely comfortable. Before you is a large spread of meats, fruits, and a few desserts. You had been given a bottle of wine to indulge in if you so desired. You can’t remember a time when you had so much choice in what to eat.

Jasmine is lifted into her chair by Sianet, which has been outfitted with a booster seat, and her eyes go wide at the amount of food. You see her gaze immediately lock onto a small tray of chocolate.

“You can’t have just chocolate for dinner, Jasmine.”

She scowls. “You’re right. There’s not enough.” You laugh and shake your head.

“If you need me, say something to the guards. I must go and ensure you have clothes. A bath has been drawn for you already.” 

“Thank you, Sianet. We appreciate it.”

“Thank you for giving me a bath.” Jasmine has already stuffed a piece of chocolate in her mouth.

“Of course. I will be back shortly.” She bows her head and takes her leave.

You and Jasmine have your fill of whatever you want. You indulge in some chocolate and a glass of wine and eat until you’re completely full. You imagine this is how Messmer lives each and every day.

You could get used to this.

You make an effort to clean up your plates and stack them so they can be easily taken away and Jasmine makes her way over to the bed. Once you’re finished, you sit beside her.

“Will you tuck me in?”

“Of course.” You pull the soft blankets up and over her, folding them delicately so she can keep her arms out. She smiles and wiggles, getting comfy.

“Mother used to tuck me in every night.” She never spoke of her parents, so this was surprising to you. “She had long hair and a pretty smile. But that’s all I can remember.”

Your heart pinches painfully. “I’m sorry, little one.” You grab her hand and squeeze it.

“Why?”

“Because you can’t really remember your mother.”

“That’s okay. I have you.” She smiles at you and you feel tears well up in your eyes. You finally know that she’s safe and fed and warm, unlike so many other nights. She is protected by a demigod in his home. Nobody can touch her. She can finally be a child.

“You will always have me,” you promise.

She shuts her eyes and you gently stroke her hair. The brown shimmers in the candlelight. You wonder if her mother had brown hair. When you found her parents, you were so worried about Jasmine that you never looked at them hard enough to remember. Maybe that was for the best.

You rise slowly from the bed to not disturb her sleep, and gently tip-toe your way to the bathroom. Like the bedroom, it was extravagant. Marble floors and tiles and a large candelabra hung from the ceiling, painting the room in a serene glow. The bath sat full, the water still steaming with some petals gently floating on the water. The room smelled like vanilla.

Undressing yourself, you catch your reflection in the mirror. Bruises litter your body like constellations and scars are forever etched on your flesh. You’ve grown skinny, far too skinny, from not eating. You prioritized Jasmine’s food over yours. You did not want her to grow up malnourished.

Tearing your gaze away from yourself, you step into the water and sit down, your body relaxing into the water immediately. The warmth permeates your skin and soothes your bones. The tub is big enough for you to full submerge yourself if you so choose, and you do. The only noise you hear is the gentle swooshing of water. It’s almost like being in a void.  You remain under the water until your lungs quickly remind you that you need to resurface for air, and you do. Your hair now wet, you shampoo and condition it, leaving it soft and silky smooth. You choose a purple soap sitting on the edge of the tub and thoroughly lather yourself in it, basking in the lavender scent.

You remain in the water until it begins to chill, and you step out. Drying yourself off, you notice a silk robe hanging on the rack by the door. It is much too large for you, but you don’t really care. You take it and wrap yourself in it. Once more, you look at yourself in the mirror, and you don’t recognize who stands there. They have soft hair and smooth, clean skin wrapped in fine silks. You remind yourself that it is, in fact, you who stands there.

Making your way out of the washroom, you smile as you see Jasmine still sleeping soundly in the bed. The fireplace nearby roars and you begin to extinguish a few candles. Gently settling into the bed beside Jasmine, you lay a kiss to her forehead before shutting your eyes and returning to St. Trina’s domain once more.

Little did you know that Messmer himself had ignited the fireplace and brought you one of his robes. He doubted that he’d tell you. But he’d be a liar if he said seeing you in his robe didn’t make his heart flutter in his chest.

[izunx]

Hello! Can I request a Luck x Black bull Reader fanfiction where the reader is head over heels for him, but he's not really interested in romance. She often gives him cheesy pick up lines, and tries to flirt with him only to be met with a neutral reaction. But slowly, Luck begins to see how much she cares for him, whenever they go on missions and whenever she protects him. And he slowly starts to fall for her. Thank you so much for taking requests!! 🖤🖤

LUCK x reader

She fell first, he fell harder

. she tries her ultimate best to gain his attention, protecting him and using her ‘best’ pickup lines on him!

“dhdhd” is speech and ‘fhrhd’ is thinking!

no warnings.

“Y/N come on you know how Luck is!” Vanessa took pity on you, this was the a hundredth time Luck turned down your fruitless attempt at trying to flirt with him, “He’s just not interested at romance at all.”

“He will once I use this line!”

Vanessa could only shake her head at how stubborn you were being, it’s been over a year of your attempts.

You got up in a hurry once you heard the door to the base open; you knew it was him.

“LUUCKKK!!”

Even Gauche was rubbing his temple, knowing the outcome of what you were going to do.

Luck smiled when you came crashing down the stairs.

“Hey Y/N!”

“Luck, do you like raisins?”

Vanessa groaned, knowing what was going to be said.

“Hmm, I guess I do!”

You smirked looking back at the few members watching this play out, ‘I got this guys!!’

“Then.. how do you feel about a date!”

“I guess they’re quite nice too” Luck simply smiled and walked up the stairs in a rush, trying his best to conceal his reddening face.

… everyone looked at you in pity.

“I think it’s time you let that man go Y/N” Noelle pat your back and gave you a sad smile.

“NO” You stormed up following him to try another one of your stupid pickup lines, but we all know how that would turn out.

—

Yami knew what he was doing placing you and Luck on your fifth mission together. You were both sent to clean up after the mess he made and round boars up.

“This’ll be fun Y/N trust me!”

You sigh and keep your arms crossed, you’re running low on these pickup lines.

“Yayyy!!” You try to make the best out of this.

It’s been a few minutes since starting to round these boars up and you had the brightest idea to try again.

“Hey, hey Luck, did you just come out the oven?” You strike the boar with your magic and sit atop it.

Luck just giggles and after hitting the last boar, sits next to you.

“Because you’re hot” You looked at him hopefully.

“That one was a funny one!!” He didn’t want to acknowledge it, but his heart skipped a beat.

…

That was your last straw. It’s been coming up to a year and a half of your efforts in vain, it didn’t look like it was getting any closer to dreams coming true. Hopping off the boar, you sat down against the tree fed up.

“Yep. I’m sure you can handle the few that are left, goodluck Luck.”

He looked at you confused, but didn’t say anything in argument.

Luck went off and it had been a few minutes since he had been rounding the rest of the boars up.

But something was off.

You sensed someone with an overwhelming amount of mana nearby and that didn’t make sense considering the mission was supposedly near by a village in the forsaken realm.

You got up and went on a search for Luck.

“LUCCK”

“hey Y/N!” he just got done with the last boar.

“Did you also sense that mana?”

“Yeah, you too?”

“That’s not normal, we should go check it out”

“Never thought you’d ask!” Luck exclaimed.

Both you and Luck scouted the area, coming towards the source of mana. But you wanted to use this opportunity of silence -

“Hey Luck, have you ever had a crush?”

He giggled at that question, but he didn’t seem to happy, “Crush?! I’ve never felt that kind of thing before, I don’t think i’m even capable of feeling butterflies when I like someone”

He was lying. Of course he was. He feels it when he’s with you, although he would never admit it.

He’s been liking you since he’s realised your constant efforts of trying to protect him, since your constant attempts trying to go out with him.

He was planning on never telling you.

You paused in your place, watching him go onwards. Maybe Vanessa was right in thinking he wasn’t interested in romance, or maybe he just didn’t like you.

Not knowing how to feel, you slowed down letting Luck go first. It was getting closer to the open area near the village.

But at that moment, a strike of fireball magic was flashing towards Luck’s head.

It was instinct really, instinct for you to throw Luck out the way and for you to absorb the impact of it.

You’d die before letting Luck get hurt. Even though he might’ve not done the same.

“Y/N?!” His eyes flew open in shock and he rushed to your side. He heard a cackle coming out the bushes.

“What a shame, I wasn’t even striking for her!” The man in the cloak cackled.

Luck went silent.

‘why would she do that?’ he held onto you tight.

He got up, lightning sparking out of control in his hand.

“Yeah? well I’ll be striking for you.”

—

“Gosh this is bad!” Vanessa held her head in disappointment, staring down at your injured body covered in ointment.

Luck simply sat by you, head down next to your head.

“How’d you let this happen?”

“She threw herself in front of the fireball, for me.”

“She never gives up” she shook her head, “you damaged that man beyond full recovery too”

“He deserves it”

“Well then, make sure to also get some rest, you didn’t exactly get out unscathed either” Vanessa looked at him solemnly before shutting the door.

“… why would you do that, Y/N??”

“Because I like you, a lot”

Luck’s head shot up to look at your painful state just barely opening your eyes.

You groan, getting up and holding your head.

Luck stared at you, ‘Am I deserving of your love?’ he could only think.

“I don’t understand”

“What’s there to understand? I think you have a beautiful heart Luck, ever since I met you you’ve only given me a reason to look forward to my day, you make me happier.”

His eyes watered

“I would do anything for you” you pet his head.

Then and there, he realised how valuable he was to you and frankly how much you meant to him.

“Don’t ever do that again” he hugged you, not tight enough to hurt you but firm, “I’ll do my upmost best protecting you now”

“Can’t make any promises,” you snickered and hugged him tightly.

“I got him good! You should’ve seen his face when I kicked his ass, now he knows not to lay a fucking hand on you again - if he’s even capable enough to recover”

you were silenced.

“I thought I hated romance and love, maybe I was wrong about it” Luck gave his usual laugh and tucked you back to rest.

you were at a loss for words, mouth gaping like a fish.

“no more talking, you gotta recover so we can spar when you’re as good as new!” he grinned widely.

—

“No Noelle, I KNOW it’ll work this time!” You were determined that this attempt was going to be the finale, because it was going to work.

“I’ll have the tissues ready!” she really had no hope for you.

Vanessa giggled and hit you hard in the back.

“come on! I believe you got it this time!”

“The blind leading the blind…” Gauche mumbled.

Luck sped into the house after finishing his spar

“Hey hey Y/N!!”

He sped up and held your hand to his shirt.

“Can you feel my shirt?”

You were puzzled, raising your brow to Magna who followed behind him looking like he was preparing himself for the worst.

“Yeah?”

“You know what material it is?”

“cotton..?”

“Nah. Boyfriend material.”

..

you exploded red. Vanessa was cackling and Noelle and Magna could only shake their heads in disappointment. Finral was nodding in approval.

“And that! is how you pull girls!” Finral slapped Luck on his back.

Maybe your efforts weren’t in vain, Luck did realise his feelings for you.

“Hey Y/N? How about we spar?”

You were still lost for words yet again, but you smiled.

“Yeah, of course Luck”

[secretlyobito]

Arranged marriage! Itachi x Reader

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Itachi must choose between massacring his clan or marrying the hokage's granddaughter.

Contains: arranged marriage, Hiruzen hate(lol), mean itachi, use of genjustsu on reader, angst.

“Itachi, you’re not here to report this conflict is miraculously over I suppose?” the old man, hiruzen rasps out noticing the slightly vacant expression on Itachi’s face before taking another puff of his pipe. To make himself feel better, Itachi often assumed the substance in Hiruzen’s pipe was crack.

“There was nothing I could do about it, the clan elders have decided to overthrow the village….. tomorrow night”

The room was silent for a solid minute, the atmosphere as thick as a fog. Hiruzen sighs glancing at Itachi’s kneeling form before him, his shoulder’s slumped and his fists clenched.

“Stand up Itachi, we knew this was coming……I suppose you know what you have to do now” Itachi gets up, his head still down as he clenches his teeth, his shoulders shaking in panic. Why did it have to end up this way? Why did he have to be the one to take care of it? What was going to happen to Sasuke?

Hiruzen glances over Itachi’s distraught form with pity, he knew it was incredibly unfair and selfish to ask the boy to dispose of his clan for the sake of the village. Nevertheless, Hiruzen had a duty to protect the village’s interests above anything else. His mind drifts as he smokes his pipe, there was another way out of this he had though of but it was a gamble, he personally hoped it wouldn’t have to come up.

“Itachi, it saddens me to have to ask this of you, you are like a son to me” he turns around and sits on the window sill “so I offer you two choices today, dispose of the Uchiha or……….marry my granddaughter”

“…what?”

Hiruzen lets out another puff, giving Itachi time to process his words. “Marry your granddaughter” Itachi repeats almost dumbfounded.

“A union between you and one of my own will force a personal stake for both the Uchiha and the village to maintain peace”

".............."

“….what if I just murder her” Itachi’s cold voice rings out, Hiruzen glances at him. It’s a plausible question, Hiruzen can’t argue with that. “then you would give me the reason I need to forge ahead with the execution of the Uchiha clan for good” Hiruzen replies just as cold, the old man was far from stupid, he knew Itachi couldn’t feel all rainbows and sunshines towards him considering what he had put the boy through, but he had to remind Itachi of his place.

“Our new familial bond will enable me to advocate more for your clan’s interest without protest from the village, It is exactly what we need to show your clan that they will always have a stake in this village”

“…”

“You have until tomorrow morning Itachi. The fate of the village is in your hands”

So here he was in the living room of his new marital home, gifted to him by Hiruzen, getting ready to meet his new…..wife, the mission paperwork in his hands long forgotten. Of course it had come to this, if this was what it was going to take to maintain peace and save his clan, Itachi was going to do it. His thoughts raced as he sat on the living room couch, he had no intention of cozying up to this stranger who was probably going to be a spy, after all that was exactly what Hiruzen made him do. He planned to get another apartment far from here, where he would use the excuse of missions to be as far away from her and the marriage as possible.

Knock knock

Itachi stiffens, she was here. Despite his completely calm expression, he felt his stomach twisting. His life would never be the same after this, he wondered what she would be like and desperately hoped she planned to keep her distance like he did. He walked over to the door slowly, each step felt like torture, he wished this was all a dream and that he would suddenly wake up. His pale hand reached for the door handle and slowly twisted it open.

A girl stood before him, she was noticeably shorter and seemed to be nervous, her gaze was fixated on something as she chewed her lip while twirling a strand off her hair absentmindedly. “ahem” he cleared his throat making her nearly jump out of her skin, very absentminded, he noted with a slightly disapproving look. Nevertheless, he pushes his displeasure away and holds out his hand politely, “you must be Y/N Sarutobi, its nice to meet you” she shakes his hand clumsily, still rattled from earlier “Nice to meet you as well Itachi-san” He gives her a once over before silently side stepping her, her eyes follow him in confusion as he grabs her luggage in the hallway, lugging it in. “oh! Thank you, you didn’t have to Itachi-san” “Just Itachi is fine” he responds without looking back at her as he drags the luggage into their shared room, the thought of sharing a room makes him cringe but once again, he pushes the thoughts aside. He’s doing this for those he loves, he repeats.

She stands in the living room fidgeting, he seemed cold. She muses taking in the living room, it was small and quaint, the perfect starting house for a new couple. She considers taking a tour round the house but freezes once Itachi re-enters the room. He sits at the table, resuming his mission paperwork not even sparing her a glance. Really? She thinks as she awkwardly stands in the middle of the living room, was he just going to pretend like she wasn’t here? She sighs as she sits at the table opposite from him, her eyes travelling over his features. He was very…pretty, his long lashes framed his obsidian eyes as he read, the stress lines that travelled along his face only adding to his charm. She takes in his dark hair tucked away into a low ponytail before her gaze moves over back to his eyes, she gasps as she realizes he’s already looking at her, his gaze unrevealing and his mouth in a straight line. “Nice hair” she awkwardly tries to explain why she’s staring at him, cringing as soon as the words leave her mouth. Itachi keeps looking at her for a few seconds before going back to his paperwork. She nearly groans in embarrassment before shifting awkwardly in her seat, why was he making this so hard? “I’ve heard a lot about you Itachi, your reputation precedes you” she tries again.

“is that so?” he replies not even looking up “yes” she chuckles “you’re quite the superstar at my workplace”. He finally glances up “and where is that?” his interest piqued. “I work at the villages intelligence department, in the hokage’s tower” she responds, happy he’s finally being responsive.

“Intelligence department….” He gives her a once over, clearly not convinced, his eyes going back to his paperwork “did your grandfather get you the job?” He asks almost innocently but she could feel the venom behind his words. Her smiled dropped from her face as the words leave his mouth, she bites her lip as she balls up her fist, she was used to the nepotism accusations, her grandfather being the Hokage and all but it hurt to hear it from him she didn’t even know why, they had only known each other for a couple of minutes. Her anger grew as she stared at him, deciding to confront him on his behaviour “why’re you being so rude? I’m just trying to make this w-“ “perhaps I should remind you of what 'this' is” he interrupts her sharply, dropping the paperwork as he stared her down “this, is nothing more than an arrangement, it is not a fairy tale. Sorry to inform you but there will be no warm discussions or love exchanged here” he finishes, nearly gritting his teeth.

She stares at him in shock before retorting, politeness be damned, she tried to make this work. “remember that reputation I told you about? It was about you being an asshole and boy were they right” she scowls as her hands grip the table slightly. A cold expression washes over itachi’s face before he closed his eyes, his obsidian eyes swirling into the sharingan as he re-opens them “I could care less what you think about me but….I would be more than glad to confirm that reputation right now” he states menacingly, standing from his chair. She gasps as she stands as well, scrambling back at the sight of his sharingan, perhaps she should’ve watched her mouth, she was no shinobi after all, she was a mere civilian.

Itachi walks toward her frightened form as she slowly backs away, her eyes wide with fear. She walks backward until her back hits the wall, she swallows as she stares at the angry uchiha in front of her, Itachi may be cold but he wouldn’t do anything to hurt her….right? A scuttling noise rings out from the hallway, causing her to glance in the direction of the noise, her heart rate picking up. Her old co-worker emerges from the shadow of the hallway, his form contorted as he speaks “you’re so used to always getting want you want” another co-worker emerges still disfigured “your job, your house, your marriage” “everything was handed to you on a silver platter so you should just know your place!” another disfigured co-worker appears yelling at her with a mangled voice, it was like they were repeating all her insecurities straight from her head.

She screams in terror as she glances at Itachi for help, Itachi stands in his previous spot unmoving as he continues to stare her down. The pieces of the puzzle comes together as it dawns upon her that she is caught in one of Itachi’s gentjutsu. Tears begin to fall down her cheeks, “I’m sorry Itachi, please stop this” she cries clutching her head as the taunting voices get louder “you should just disappear!” “go away! Run back to grandpa” the voices yell at her. She sobs as she slides unto floor, covering her ears as the voices become painfully louder “stop Itachi!” she yells over the voices through her tears. He finally snaps out of his hateful daze as he releases the gentjustsu, his eyes falling on her sobbing form slumped on the floor. She glares up at him through her tear-filled vision “you’re a jerk” and with that she races toward their shared bedroom, slamming the door.

Itachi sighs as he sits back on the couch, deactivating his sharingan. His rubs his face with his hands as he glances toward the direction of the bedroom door, hearing her muffled cries. He sighs, perhaps he took it too far, he only wanted to scare her into not trying to be friendly with him but ended up torturing her. Itachi sighs as he gets up and walks towards the bedroom, determined to apologize to her. He was angry, angry at the situation, angry at Hiruzen, angry at his clan but he didn’t need to lump her in. He was going to make things right.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I wanted to make Itachi as canon as possible. I may make a part two but this time, there'll be lots of fluff and Itachi won't be as mean lol. If you liked please leave a comment or reblog!♡♡

Part 2 out neow

[harleehazbinfics]

A tainted dove.

hazbin hotel x devout!reader devout series

Note: i could expand this more but lmao it's already long as it is. react down below if you wanna see more!

You lived as a sister for the church in your past life. You always followed the rules, devoted yourself to praying and doing charity work. You enjoyed that kind of life that just helped people and feel appreciated for your services.

However, most people in the convent didn't seem pleased with you being such a "goodie two shoes" and "outshining" the other sisters, by things holy, even the Father seemed to dislike how well liked you were in the community that he sent you off to a far and remote place.

There was no electricity, a scheduled running water system and there was very little livestock from the extreme climate that most animals die before they reach their first spring. There was only one other person there in the church as well, he was a Father that helped and did services for this small community. He was too old and frail to do tasks outside the community but he had to do it since be was the only one that the people here could depend on.

You could see how extremely happy he was when he found you at his doorstep lending a hand in his mission.

You lived peacefully there with the Father and the villagers, attending mass, helping cultivate the land by going to the next town that you had to travel on foot to get to with how remote the terrain was, and just generally trying to make everyone be happy despite the unfortunate circumstances.

However, men came and destroyed the village, setting it ablaze. You hurriedly evacuated the people to hide and take them to the nearest village for help.

Unfortunately, you were caught and imprisoned by these men, and were defiled as you died by your injuries to resist them, ending futile.

•°•°•°•°

When you sat and looked at the crimson sky your broken wing made it unable for you to fly feeling very detached from yourself.

You did everything they asked, you became a very good sister until your dying breath only to end up here. Were you fed lies? Or, was this the fate you were already dealt?

Collapsing from the stress, you failed to notice a figure flying towards you, scooping you up and leaving with you to his castle.

When you finally woke up, you felt your wings be in better shape. You gave them a stretch holding them in your hands as you inspected them. They were red on the top and white underneath with gray swirls as a touch.

You were startled when you saw a blond male in a white suit and hat come to you. He gave you some soup with a wry smile.

You accepted his kind help feeling indebted to him for being the only generous person that you ever crossed paths with while being here in hell for a good while.

He introduced himself as the ruler of hell, Lucifer himself. This fact obviously shocked you. Lucifer was this short, dorky, kind man? It was quite hard to believe from all the scriptures you've read while you were alive.

He explains his backstory which you found quite pitiful and explained how he was surprised to find your existence here in hell when you should've been in heaven.

He promises to make things right with you, so he takes it upon himself to call his daughter, Charlie to help you. While he tries to deal with it.

When you get to the hotel, you were enamoured by the passion that Charlie had for her cause and felt like you needed to help her.

So, you worked with them for a month getting accustomed to life here. It was actually quite delightful being genuine friends with them. They often talked to you when they felt lost or frustrated or lost touch of themselves and their emotions. You didn't mind it, it was your life's work after all.

After getting closer and closer to everyone, Lucifer comes back and tells you that Heaven doesn't acknowledge the mistake that they made and that you were to stay here for the rest of eternity.

This deeply saddened you but you touched Lucifer's shoulder and smiled.

"Thank you for trying, Lucifer. It's fine! I've actually made friends here. And since you're here, why not join us? We're celebrating Angie's birthday!"

He smiled comforted as you walked with him to the banquet table served with various dishes.

The night ends happily. Despite being unhappy and failing to connect with other people to create deeper relationships on Earth. You felt more at peace here with these sinners than you've ever felt before.

[d0llcuries]

LYING HAS TO STOP PT.2

pairing(s): neteyam x fem!na'vi reader

summary: grief stricken, you learn to cope with neteyam's absence. after five years it is finally time for the family to return to the forest, will you still be waiting for him?

author's note: my period came today and my womb feels like it's on fire please send help

it’s been days since neteyam left. since he tore your heart from your chest, as easily as you might pluck a flower, and carried it away with him across the sea, to a place you’ve never seen, to a people you don’t know. days, but it feels like an eternity—each minute dragging its feet, stretching thin with the ache of his absence.

your world has shrunk, contracted into the suffocating space of your marui, the woven walls pressing in on you, tight and unrelenting. the forest feels distant, untouchable, as though the trees themselves have pulled away from you, retreating into a haze of memory. you haven’t eaten, haven’t gathered, haven’t done anything at all, really. the thought of food turns your stomach, the very notion of sustaining yourself without him here feels obscene. your body is weak, fragile, a hollow shell that threatens to shatter under the weight of your grief.

and the clan knows. of course they do. your absence is like a gaping wound in the fabric of the village, noticed by all, pitied by many. sympathetic eyes follow your mother wherever she moves, people murmuring soft words in passing, their concern trickling down like droplets of rain on the dry earth. but those words, those glances—they feel empty, like they’re echoing down a dark, endless tunnel. they pity you, yes, but none of them understand the depth of what you’ve lost. how could they? how could anyone, unless they too had given their soul to someone and watched as it slipped away?

they whisper when they think you can’t hear: she misses him so much. the poor girl. how long can she go on like this? as if your heartbreak were something measurable, something that could be weighed, dissected, and then tucked neatly away. but the truth is so much messier than that, so much darker. the pain is a beast, coiled around your chest, claws digging in with every breath you take, and no amount of words or gestures can tame it. you miss him with a desperation that borders on madness, a longing that gnaws at your insides like a festering wound. it is not the gentle, poetic sadness that they imagine; it is a raw, tearing agony that consumes you day and night, leaving no space for anything else.

sometimes, the elders send food to your family’s marui, a silent offering. but the food sits untouched. you can’t bring yourself to take more than a few bites—everything tastes like ash in your mouth. it’s unbearable to think of him not here, unbearable to imagine life without him by your side. you had never considered a future where he wasn’t there. now, all you can see is the emptiness.

you lie curled in the corner of the marui, knees drawn up tight to your chest, fingers tracing the intricate patterns of the woven mat beneath you. the once-familiar texture feels strange now, foreign, as if your senses are dulled, disconnected from the world around you. your face is streaked with tear stains, eyes swollen and raw from crying until there is nothing left. you have become a ghost, a mere echo of the person you were when he was still here.

“ma’ite.”

your mother’s voice is soft, but you don’t need to look up to know she’s standing there, watching you with that mix of concern and helplessness she’s worn for days. you manage to turn your head slightly, just enough to acknowledge her presence, though your neck feels too heavy to lift fully. she kneels beside you, her hands cool and gentle as they brush back the strands of hair that stick to your tear-damp skin. there’s no pity in her eyes—only a quiet, unspoken understanding. she knows this kind of loss, though maybe not in the same way, not with the same fierce, bone-deep ache that claws at you every waking moment.

she’s tried to coax you from your hiding place before, urged you to eat, to breathe in the fresh air, to let the forest heal you the way it always has. but the idea of stepping outside, of facing the world without neteyam, feels insurmountable, like your grief will crush you the moment you so much as stand.

“you cannot live like this,” she murmurs, her voice steady but tinged with a sadness she tries to hide. “he would not want this for you.”

her words hit you like stones, sharp and cutting, and your heart lurches painfully at the mere mention of him. you shake your head, pulling your knees tighter against your chest, like you can somehow protect yourself from the truth. “i cannot,” you whisper, your voice a dry rasp, barely more than a breath. “i don’t know how to go on without him.”

she cups your face gently, tilting your chin up so your eyes meet hers. there is a strength in her gaze, a fierceness that mirrors your own, though you have none of it left now. “i know your heart is heavy,” she says softly, her thumbs brushing away the new tears that spill over your cheeks. “but you cannot let your grief swallow you whole. you are needed here. your people need you.”

her lips press against your forehead, a kiss meant to soothe, but it only deepens the ache in your chest. you close your eyes, willing yourself to feel comfort, to let her words in.

“come,” she says gently, taking your hand in hers. “just for a moment. step outside. feel the wind, the sun on your skin. it will help.”

and so, you do. at first, only for a few brief moments. you force yourself out of the marui, blinking against the harsh brightness of the sun, your legs unsteady beneath you from the days spent curled in the dark. the light blinding after so long in darkness. the village bustled around you, the sounds of life—laughter, voices, the chatter of children—grating against your raw nerves.

it felt wrong. everything felt wrong.

the village watches you as you move, their eyes filled with quiet hope, but no one approaches. they give you space, knowing that grief is a private thing, a burden that cannot be shared.

your throat burned, tight with the effort of keeping the tears at bay. nature calls to you, as it always has, but even that feels dim now. the beauty of the forest, the rustle of the leaves, the hum of life—it used to bring you peace, used to ground you. but now it’s just a reminder of what’s missing.

the spirit tree becomes your refuge, a place where you can sit and breathe without the weight of the clan’s pity pressing in on you. you sit beneath its glowing tendrils, your knees pulled to your chest, your voice barely more than a whisper as you speak to eywa, the words tumbling out in a rush of desperate hope. you beg her to watch over him, to keep him safe, to bring him back to you. you ask her why, over and over again. why did he have to leave? why did you take him from me?

but there are no answers. just the soft hum of the tree, the gentle glow of the seeds floating around you. they are beautiful, but their beauty feels like a cruel joke, a reminder that the world goes on, even when your heart is breaking.

as the months turned into years, the whispers in the village changed. they no longer spoke of your grief, but of your beauty, of your strength. you had grown in those years—your body, once soft and youthful, had become strong, your muscles lean from hours spent in the forest, gathering and tending to the needs of your people. your hair had grown long, flowing down your back in thick waves, often adorned with wildflowers you picked during your walks. your attire shifted too, more flowing, more ethereal, as if you were slowly becoming part of the forest itself. you were no longer the girl you had been when neteyam left; you had become a woman, beautiful and ethereal, with an air of quiet grace that made you stand out among your peers.

many sought your hand, asking to court you, to make you their mate, but you refused them all. you had promised yourself to neteyam, and though the years had passed, though your prime had come and gone, you remained steadfast in your love for him. the village elders spoke of you often, saying you had grown too spiritual, too distant, that you would never find happiness if you continued to wait for a man who might never return. but you paid them no mind. your heart belonged to neteyam, and no one else could ever take his place.

neteyam had grown restless. five long years had passed since his family fled to awa’atlu, and though he had adapted to life among the reef people, his heart had never left the forest. he missed you—eywa, how he missed you. he still wore your bracelet, the delicate beads now worn and faded from years of saltwater, but it was his most prized possession. it was all he had left of you.

after five long years, his father had finally declared it safe for them to return to the forest. quaritch had been silent for too long, and jake was confident that the threat had passed, that they could go home. neteyam had been elated at the news. he would finally see you again. he had spent years dreaming of this moment, imagining your reunion in a thousand different ways. he would hold you, kiss you, tell you how much he had missed you. his tail flicked back and forth excitedly—this was the happiest his family had seen him in ages.

but then lo’ak had to ruin everything with his big mouth.

“what if she’s already found someone else? i mean, five years is a long time.”

neteyam had laughed it off at first, but the thought lingered, festering like a wound. what if lo’ak was right? what if you had moved on? what if, after all this time, you had found someone else—someone who could be there for you in ways he couldn’t? the thought was unbearable, and yet, he couldn’t shake it. it gnawed at him, turning his excitement into a bitter cocktail of hope and fear.

when they finally arrived back in the forest, neteyam’s heart was in his throat. the village greeted them with open arms, their joy palpable, but neteyam could barely hear the celebrations around him. his mind was focused on one thing, and one thing only.

you.

“where is she?” he asked, his voice tight with the weight of five years of longing.

mo’at frowned slightly, her eyes scanning the crowd. “she was here earlier. she may have gone to gather, or to pray.”

his heart sank. what if you didn’t want to see him? what if you had known he was coming and chosen to avoid him? panic fluttered in his chest, but he tamped it down, refusing to let the fear take hold. he had to find you.

he searched the village first, asking those who knew you, but no one had seen you. frustration clawed at him, the weight of those five years pressing down on him, making every breath feel like a struggle. he needed to see you, to touch you, to know that you were real, that you were still his.

he pushed through the underbrush, his senses heightened, eyes scanning the landscape for any trace of you. he followed the paths you used to walk, the places you had once shared, hoping for some kind of sign. his chest felt tight, his breath shallow with anticipation. and then, as he rounded a bend, your scent hit him—a faint but unmistakable blend of earth and flowers, of home, almost overpowered by the salt of the sea that clung to him.

you were sitting by the stream, your back to him, your hair cascading down your back in thick waves, adorned with the wildflowers you had always loved. for a moment, neteyam couldn’t breathe. his heart clenched at the sight of you, a wave of emotion crashing over him so powerfully that it nearly brought him to his knees. you looked different, older, more serene, but still so unmistakably you. time had changed you, had carved beauty into every inch of you, shaping you into something ethereal, something he could barely comprehend.

eywa, you were beautiful.

he didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to approach you. five years had passed—what if you didn’t recognize him? under normal circumstances you would've already detected his scent and turned around to acknowledge him. what if you didn’t want him anymore?

slowly, he stepped forward, careful not to make a sound, but the wind betrayed him, carrying the scent of saltwater to your nose. you stiffened slightly, your hand pausing in its absent tracing of the water’s edge. it was an unfamiliar scent, foreign in its sharpness, but something about it made your heart skip a beat. you turned slowly, your eyes wide and searching, and then you saw him.

for a moment, the world stopped. your breath caught in your throat, your heart pounding so loudly you were sure he could hear it. neteyam stood before you, older, stronger, but still so achingly familiar. his hair was longer, his skin sun-kissed from years spent under a different sky, but his eyes—his eyes hadn’t changed. they were the same deep, golden brown that had always made your heart flutter.

the air thickened, time itself grinding to a halt as you stared at each other, drinking in the sight of one another for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

“neteyam?” you whispered, your voice trembling, as if afraid that speaking his name would shatter the fragile reality of the moment. “is this… a dream?”

his lips curved into a soft smile, his eyes warm as they locked onto yours. “no, i am home. i have come back to you.”

you stood slowly, your legs shaky beneath you, as if the earth itself had shifted. you took a step toward him, and then another, but you stopped just out of reach, your eyes searching his face as if trying to convince yourself that he was really there. you wanted to run to him, to throw yourself into his arms, but something held you back. five years of distance, five years of longing, five years of doubt.

you stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, the silence between you thick with unsaid words, with questions that neither of you knew how to ask. and then, neteyam broke the silence, his voice quiet, almost hesitant.

“do you… have a mate?”

the question hung in the air, heavy and painful, and for a moment, you didn’t know how to answer. your heart ached at the vulnerability in his voice, the fear that lingered in his eyes. you shook your head slowly, your voice barely a whisper. “no. i waited for you... just as i promised, remember?”

his breath left him in a rush, his shoulders sagging with relief. “and you?” you asked, your voice trembling. “have you… found someone else?”

he shook his head quickly, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your heart race. “no. i could never.”

the silence stretched between you, fragile and electric, before you both moved. it wasn’t planned, wasn’t thought out, but suddenly your arms were around each other, holding on as if the world itself might crumble if you let go. his hands tangled in your hair, pulling you closer, and you buried your face in his chest, breathing him in, grounding yourself in the solid, steady presence of him.

you stayed like that for a long time, wrapped up in each other, the weight of five years of longing and heartache melting away in the warmth of his embrace. there were no words for what you felt, for the relief, the love, the overwhelming joy that coursed through you like wildfire. he was here. he was real. and he was yours.

finally, after what felt like an eternity, you pulled back just enough to look up at him, your fingers tracing the lines of his face, memorizing every detail. his eyes were soft, filled with a tenderness that made your chest ache, and for the first time in years, you allowed yourself to believe that everything might just be okay.

bonus:

the poor boy couldn’t tear himself away from you.

it wasn’t enough to sit close or brush shoulders—no, neteyam had to practically bury himself in your skin. his arms wound around your waist, pulling you closer than necessary, while his face stayed tucked against your neck, like he couldn’t stand the idea of even a breath of space between you.

the night air was thick with the smell of roasted fruit, fish, and the soft crackle of the fire at the center of the gathering. drums echoed across the beach, pulsing with the rhythm of celebration.

you could feel his breath on your skin, warm and steady. he wasn’t confident tonight, though. not like usual. no, tonight he was clingy. dare you say... pathetic even, the way he couldn’t let go, like you’d vanish if he blinked.

you sighed, letting your arms drape lazily around his shoulders, the weight of them pulling him closer still, and though you were happy to be in his arms again after all this time, there was something off about it. his scent—salty, sharp, almost acrid in the way it hit your nose—wasn’t the same as it used to be. you don’t quite like it, the way his scent stings your nose, it clung to him, to you now, but you didn't bother to complain. you persevered, pushing through the discomfort, because he needed this, needed you.

you’re laughing at something, probably at him, because he’s clinging to you like a vine desperate for a tree. he buries himself into you, his breath warm against your jaw, rubbing his cheek, his chin, anywhere he can, marking you again and again with a quiet, trembling need. your fingers absently played with the beads of his hair, their familiar texture grounding you in the moment, and neteyam shivered under your touch, leaning into it like he couldn’t help himself.

“missed you,” he murmurs, voice cracking somewhere between the words, too low, too broken for anyone else to hear. the kind of confession that never leaves the mouth of someone as proud as neteyam. “i was scared you had moved on.”

you frowned slightly, not because the thought was ridiculous (it wasn’t, not entirely), but because of how broken he sounded admitting it. this was neteyam, the strong, steady boy you’d known your whole life. the boy who’d never shown fear, never let his emotions get the better of him. and now here he was, wrapped around you like a lost child, his breath trembling against your neck. his tail curls, wrapping lazily around your leg.

“lo'ak made me think you were already mated.”

“lo'ak is stupid,” you muttered, though your voice was gentler than the words themselves. “you know i wouldn’t do that.”

he nodded, but it felt half-hearted, like he wanted to believe you, but some part of him couldn’t.

you shifted slightly, pulling him closer, your lips brushing the shell of his ear as you whispered, “i am not going anywhere.”

he shuddered, his grip on your waist almost bruising now, and for a moment, you thought he might break down right there in front of the entire clan.

and maybe, in some small way, you understood. maybe he wasn’t wrong to be scared. five years was a long time, and you had changed. you weren’t the same girl who had watched him leave all those years ago, and he wasn’t the same boy who had made you promise to wait for him.

“you smell like the ocean,” you finally whisper, teasing, a half-hearted protest. his body tenses, the ghost of a laugh shaking his shoulders. still, he doesn’t pull away. can’t.

“it will wash off,” he promises, lips ghosting over your temple. but he doesn’t move to let go. doesn’t think he can. five years apart, and neteyam’s convinced he could spend the rest of his life breathing you in and still not get enough.

[ghouldtime]

Neighbor! König Part 3

Part One Part Two

It's only after THREE MONTHS in that you find out his name isn't Kevin

Why? You overheard a phone call. A phone call with his mom

Because, to put it in small terms: König is a mama's boy

Not in the gross way that boy moms do (everyone say EWWWW) or the manchildren who think their mom can do no wrong and will always side with her over on everything. We know those guys. He's not that. Not even close

No, in the 'he genuinely loves and cares about his mother because this is the person who raised him so his respect for her and love is absolutely profound'

That's the woman who raised him, that's the person who read him bedtime stories at night when he couldn't sleep, that's the lovely lady who would let him hide behind her skirts when she'd take him into the village and people would try to say hi, she's the one and only who taught him all about the many wonders of the world and how beautiful nature is

Yeah, he's going to respect her. He loves his mom and for good reason

He calls her every day if possible because she still lives quite far away in Austria :( and things haven't been the same since his dad passed away

He doesn't live near or with her, as much as it pains him, because quite frankly: he can't risk it. He still visits as much as he can, but living with her makes her a target because he's a man with blood covering his hands and there's people who will do anything to get to him

He can't risk her like that, wouldn't ever dream of it

She understands. He doesn't tell her the extent because he can't break her heart and he's afraid she might see him different, but he does tell her HOW dangerous it could be

He will always tell her about the good things he does, though! Like saving hostages! That's always great. She's so proud of him

He might be a grown ass man at 6'7" and weighing over 250 lbs that absolutely towers over her but he will always be her sweet baby boy before anything else

He is always writing her letters and sending her packages and pictures! Letters just are more heartfelt usually and she's old fashioned, she likes having something physical to hang onto especially now that her eyesight is fading

She is always sending them in return too. His favorite coffee mugs are all shaped like little forest animals and she made them! They're precious and he's so happy holding his little hedgehog mug (even if it is a bit spiky)

ANYWAYS how you found out his name wasn't Kevin was because you heard her use his name

His real name

That wasn't Kevin or even close.

And afterwards you had to go "... uh... Kevin? Who is she talking about?"

König has never been close to this flustered before, even when you fell asleep with your head on his broad shoulders when you were watching a movie together

Time to fess up.

He at first tries to go into denial, then dismissal, but it doesn't work at all

He admits defeat. You caught him, he ISN'T Kevin. Well, he's still the same person! That's just not his name

He was too embarrassed to correct you or himself so he went with it and it kept building and building

He wanted to tell you, but it's a hard topic :( he knows he would have stumbled and stuttered over his words until he fell flat on his face

You'd find it out eventually! It's not like he put 'Kevin' on his mail or anything like that

Now, most people would rightfully feel mad and lied to

But he's turning red enough to match the roses he grows and can't seem to meet your eyes. He's sweating bullets, he's genuinely embarrassed here and feels awful about it

Maybe it's against better judgement to accept such a thing so easily but he hasn't been anything but nice to you ever since you broke down his icy walls.

(Aka he's so painfully socially awkward and flustered you feel bad for him and take pity)

And just maybe you heard the "Ich bin in dich verliebt" slip out as you took his hands in yours and assured that you liked him as him, whether he's named Kevin or not, and nothing would change that

[seeingivy]

slut!

satoru gojo x f!reader

**part of my satoru as taylor swift songs series

--

“just so you know, the dining hall closes at seven.” 

you look up to find a short girl – dirty blonde hair braided at her sides with an awkward smile on her face – as you shoot her an apologetic smile. 

“right, cornelia. sorry, i’m almost done, i’ll just be out.” 

cornelia works morning shifts in the dining hall. 

you tend to frequent the place at odd hours – particularly getting cravings when it’s closed – and she’s always sweet enough to oblige you with whatever they have left over. 

you have a sneaking hunch it’s because she saw utahime be over-exceedingly harsh with you on the first day of training. you’re thankful for it nonetheless. 

“just…finish up by seven. i’ll be out of here by then to go home.” she responds, words laced in her thick dutch accent. 

you shoot her a grateful smile, looking down at the mess of rice and chicken that you’ve demolished into oblivion with your fork, and wonder if it’s still edible. you mindlessly reach for your phone, scrolling through the litter of texts on the screen. 

in amsterdam gymnasts 2024 

[shoko]: there’s a party on the first floor if you guys are down 

[nobara]: do yk think that girl we saw on the train will be there? 

[yuuji]: BRO literally has green hair. she’d be hard to miss 

[nobara]: stfu 

[utahime]: We’re training early tomorrow. Don’t be irresponsible. 

knowing yuuji and nobara, they had probably already schemed their way to the party. out of everyone on the mixed teams, you could tell that they were enjoying themselves the most – sitting with the spanish water polo players in the dining hall, scrolling on hinge to find people in the olympic village, and attending every party they could. 

you were happy for them. at least they were enjoying themselves. the mindless mantra that was ringing through your head was stopping all your attempts to enjoy the three weeks you were spending here. 

if you put your head down and give an honest effort, things will work out for you.

that’s how it’s always been and always how it was going to be – sitting at the back of the class, answering the questions in your head. being sought for your work and your work alone – you had to be outstanding just to be noticed, because you weren’t going to mention it otherwise. 

working hard in silence until it was pointed out, hustling and grinding until you couldn’t anymore, just so that someone would, on an odd chance, remember you and push you forward. 

and it worked. it worked most of the time and got you far enough. but at the end of the day, it was always the same result. 

you got drowned out. you get drowned out like you always do but it doesn’t sting any less. 

by a loud, boisterous voice – an emboldened sense of confidence that you don’t have, one that utahime does – and three words that sent all of your efforts down the drain.

if only you were brave enough to talk. emboldened enough to boast – to show off, to embellish, to call attention to yourself – but, you weren’t. it just wasn’t something you could bring yourself to do. 

it was just another day. 

“are you okay?” 

you look up from the plate – you’re positive the fork must have left scratches in the porcelain – to find the source of the voice, light glowing around his frame and head blocking the glow of the dingy light bulbs in the ghost town that is the dining hall. 

you know those eyes. satoru gojo. 

you immediately reach up, wiping away the leftover wetness on your face, and feeling the burning of your cheeks underneath your fingertips as you gesture for him to take the seat across from you.  

satoru gives you a lopsided smile – blue eyes filled with kindness or pity that’s just masked very well – as he slides his legs over the bench. you can smell the faintest hint of chlorine, his hair still matted and damp from the pool. 

“yeah. yeah, i’m good. how’d she…how’d she let you in?” you respond, noting the shake in your voice, as you try to change the subject. 

satoru gojo is a seven time olympic medalist – the pride and joy of team usa at the amsterdam olympics. six foot five, easy on the eyes, and an absolute menace in the swimming pool. coupled with an irritatingly charming personality and the grit of a professional – he’s one of the few athletes that’s taken seriously on the team. 

he was the flag bearer at the opening ceremony. you’ve seen him at meets here and there, exchanged pleasantries, over the past few years. 

not that he would remember that. 

“she likes me.” he responds. 

you snort. 

“of course she does. who doesn’t?” you mutter. 

you look up, feeling the leftover heat and tension from the crying still simmering behind your cheeks, as he shoots you a glimmering smile. 

the mere thought of it – smiling so freely, that he looks so joyful or that really, this entire experience must culminate into everything that he has wanted and worked towards – sends an aching pang through your chest. 

“you know who i am?” he asks. 

“satoru gojo. small town college student turned gold olympic medalist. everyone’s heard the story. they don’t pick just anyone to be the flag bearer, you know?” you repeat, attempting to mimic the monotone voices of the news reports you’ve heard hundreds of times. 

he clicks his tongue in his cheek, giving you a sly smile as he leans forward on his forearms, his face only inches from yours. it’s at this moment that you realize that he’s tall, obscenely tall even, because he’s able to reach over the length of the table while still sitting down – hovering in your space entirely. 

“and we’ve…we’ve met before.” 

“i know.” 

you pause. 

“you do?” 

“are you shocked that i can remember conversations i have with people?” 

“um. no, i guess not. you’re just a really big deal and all, figured you talk to everyone.” you respond. 

“bold coming from you, y/n l/n. rookie gymnast with only three years of training under her belt overperforms in the olympic trials and makes it to the final team roster.” he responds, mimicking the same tone of your voice. 

hearing the words, the premise, sends the tears running straight back to your eyes, as you try your best to swallow them down by staring down at the mottled mix of food. you give him a noncommittal hum in response, which you’re positive that he clocks immediately as he leans forward, his calloused hand on yours as he squeezes. 

“hey really. are you okay?” he whispers. 

you look up, warm and hot tears spilling out of your eyes at this point, as he squeezes your hand again, tilting his head to the side as he waits for an explanation. you sigh, biting at the side of your already demolished lip, as you look back up at him. 

your voice wobbles when you finally muster a response. 

“you caught me at a really bad time. i don’t actually do this whole thing.” you respond. 

satoru smiles. 

“what thing?” 

“crying in front of strangers. and…and telling random people my business.” 

satoru gives you an airy laugh, before squeezing your hand again. 

“i’ll take your word for it. it’ll be a one time thing.” he murmurs. 

you study his eyes – examining and analyzing for any sense of patronization in his eyes and tone – but you don’t find any. 

if anything, he just looks curious. 

“do you ever feel like all of your hard work has amounted to nothing?” you whisper. 

satoru gives you a confused look, eyes expectant as he waits for a proper explanation. and you’re not sure what it is – why you give it to him knowing his reputation, that sweet talking and charming was just part of his human nature – but in the late hours of the night, when he walks you back to your room, you reason that it was just the circumstances. 

that he was in the wrong place at the right time. 

“you…you’ve struggled your entire life with your body. sometimes you almost feel like you’re at war with it and…and it’s frustrating feeling like you don’t have control. that you can pass out on a whim, that you’ll be on top of the world one day and at the bottom the next, and that there’s nothing you can do to remedy it.” 

you sigh. 

“you decide that you want to put in the work. that you’re going to push the limits, even if it seems impossible, because you’re not going to let this thing – this nervousness, the anxiousness tie you down. i spent a whole year training, figuring out how to do this thing. the second year, i qualified for the olympic trials and i choked. i took the loss so seriously, trained so hard that i actually made it here, and now that i am, i can’t even try for real because i’m being undermined by someone else.” you state. 

“undermined by someone else?” he asks. 

“utahime iori. she’s a four time medalist, the senior on the team. she’s been to the olympics twice. she told masamichi, our coach, that…that i got nervous on the floor routine that i’ve been preparing for the final and that they should just pull it to prevent a point loss. she thinks that she should just compete on the floor as well.” you state. 

satoru gives you a frown. 

“did you? choke i mean?” 

“it was a bad day. i was all in my head and i couldn’t…i couldn’t bring myself to do some of the twists. i could do it the next three days and…and i’ll be ready to do it by the time we compete.” you state. 

satoru smiles. 

“of course you will. so what’s got you down?” he asks. 

“that masamichi believed her. he’s trying to get me to change the floor routine to one that i did before. easier, it’s more safe, but it’s also less points.” 

satoru hums in response. 

“it’s just frustrating that i put in so much work to get here, that everyone knows i did and that i had put in so much hard work, and all it took was one person who’s louder than me to drown me out. that all the effort they’ve seen was easily discredited because someone else said so. that…that my work wasn’t able to stand out on it’s own and it almost never is. i’ve never been one to speak up and that’s always my downfall.” 

you drop the fork against the plate, deciding that you’ve assaulted the chicken enough. 

“so, no. i’m not okay. i cried so hard that the people let me stay here in the dining hall after it closed just because she felt bad for me. she even brought this cookie over while i was sobbing and then walked away.” you respond, holding it up in between the two of you. 

you’re not a natural. and no matter how hard you try, you won’t ever make it to the top. it was in your fingertips and now it’s miles away, like you’re at the starting line but your feet are glued to the start. 

because the time is running out, because you won’t get this opportunity again, and this is all that you’ll amount to. 

“i’m just sad. i’ll get over it, deep down i know i will, because…because i know things happen for a reason, but it just…feels hard to find one right now.” 

satoru takes the cookie from your hands, nimble fingers quickly undoing the packaging and splitting the cookie in half. he takes the bigger half, placing it in your hand, as he gestures for you to eat it. 

you give him an irritated glare, taking a bite out as you swallow it down your dry throat. 

“i mean, you get to be here before everyone else eats the cookies. and you don’t even have to get up to grab them, they actually deliver them to your seat all special.” satoru states. 

you sigh. 

“i can’t wait to tell the news when they ask me how i’m coping with not winning a medal that the cookies are great and life is good regardless.” you respond, voice coated in bitterness. 

satoru slides the other way on the bench, now leaning his elbows and his torso against the table, his head leaned all the way back and eyes pinched shut. you immediately wince, noting the harshness of your words when he was just trying to be nice, as you sigh. 

“sorry. i know you’re trying to be nice. and it’s a great cookie! i’m just frustrated. i just hate thinking that –” 

“i do feel like all my hard work has amounted to nothing.” satoru responds. 

you pause. 

“what?” you ask. 

“you asked me, at the start, if i ever felt like all of my work amounted to nothing. the answer is yes. i do feel like all of my hard work has amounted to nothing.” he answers, the tone in his voice steady. 

you look down at the cookie, lifting to take another bite, as you ponder over the thought. 

but he had everything. other teams – they were scared to see him coming. hopefully pining over the silver because they already knew that the gold was his, that there was no point in even hoping when they were competing against the best of the best. 

“really?” 

“mhm.” 

“you’re telling me the satoru gojo doesn’t feel like he’s amounted to anything? you have seven gold medals. they’re literally scared to see you coming.” 

satoru laughs. 

“you really think they’re scared?” he jokes. 

you roll your eyes. 

“i sat with the canadian swimmer the other day at breakfast. they were over there debating who was going to get the silver, because they saw no point in even vying for the gold when they were competing against you.” you respond. 

satoru’s face is painted in a satisfied grin. 

“amounted to nothing? you’re literally at the top of your game.” 

“i guess. if that’s what mattered. if i still liked swimming.” 

you pause. 

“you…you don’t like swimming?” 

he smiles.

“not anymore. losing passion for the one thing that you’re good at can….cause it’s own type of meltdown. especially when there’s fifty people asking you how you're going to top yourself next time.”  

satoru twists around on the bench, giving you a smile, as he leans forward. 

“count yourself lucky, y/n. you’ve got a reason to move forward and prove yourself. the drive. something to push you forward.” 

he pauses, taking a beat, before responding. 

“things are entirely bleak when you have nothing to work towards.” he responds. 

satoru gives you a smile, before pushing off the bench – fingers messing through his damp hair – before shooting you a smile over his shoulder. 

“cornelia will get mad. it’s ten minutes to seven.” he murmurs. 

you give him a noncommittal nod, pondering over his words, as you watch him walk away – the letters of his last name brightly stitched to the back of his jacket. 

“hey. gojo?” you ask. 

he turns around, eyes expectant as he waits for an answer. 

“just because you don’t have something to work towards now doesn’t mean you won’t have something later.” 

there’s an awkward pause – mainly because he doesn’t respond – and you give him a shrug back. 

“satoru.” he states. 

“what?” 

“you can call me satoru.” 

--

“she was at the party.” nobara states. 

you look up from the bowl, noting the darkness around nobara and yuuji’s eyes, as you roll your eyes. you relish the fifteen minutes of peace you’ll get before utahime comes down to berate the two of them and most likely loop the rest of you in with it in the process. 

“did you even talk to her, cupid?” you joke. 

nobara kicks you under the table, as the group of you snicker under your breaths. 

“we made very prolonged eye contact. you wouldn’t get it.” nobara responds. 

“they were eye fucking each other. i felt like i was interrupting something.” yuuji adds. 

it’s right at that moment that nobara and yuuji stop talking, eyes wide, as you give them a confused look. yuuji lightly waves his eyes to the left and you follow – only to see someone standing at the side of the table. 

he’s decently tall, spiky black hair and solemn blue eyes. you note the embroidery on his jacket – megumi fushiguro, team usa, javelin throwing – and give him a smile. 

you look back at nobara and yuuji, the two of them looking awkwardly back down at their plates.and decide to take one for the team and extend your hand out to him. 

“hello. i’m y/n l/n.” 

he places his hand in yours – you can’t help but notice how sweaty it is and silently wonder how he throws javelins with that slip – as you give him a polite smile. 

“megumi fushiguro. i’m from new york. i uh…throw javelins.” 

“cool. we’re with team japan. we all do gymnastics. these are my friends nobara and yuuji. nobara does all of the gymnastic rhythmic events and yuuji does specials with rings and the pommel horse.” you add. 

megumi gives you a smile, before awkwardly running his hand across his neck before looking at yuuji. you note that whatever yuuji was talking about between nobara and the girl with the green hair is exactly what’s happening now – the eye contact the two of them were sharing so intense that you felt like you were interrupting something. 

“right. um, it’s nice to meet you. well, we met last night but i’m not sure if you remembered since you…had a lot to drink.” 

it’s swelteringly awkward – so awkward because yuuji’s so starstruck? or surprised that he doesn’t give him a response and instead just stares at him straight on. you kick him under the table, jostling him under the table, to talk. 

“i love you.” yuuji responds. 

you watch as megumi’s eyes widen, you and nobara shooting each other a look before attempting damage control. 

“he doesn’t mean that! why would he love you? you don’t even know each other!” nobara responds. 

“i mean, not to say that he won’t ever love you. maybe in the future! you’re probably a great guy!” you respond. 

“he’s like repressed or something, i swear he’s normal when you get to know him.” nobara adds. 

“but not in a weird way! we all get a little nervous here and there, right?” 

“you know meets make people really nervous. he actually doesn’t even know english so..so that’s why he didn’t respond.” 

you kick nobara under the table. 

“he knows english. obviously! how else would you guys talk to each other?” you respond, trying to give a hint to nobara. 

you and nobara pause, cheeks warm from the second hand embarrassment, as megumi nods at the three of you – unable to parse if you’re all part of some circus show or having an aneurysm – and smiles awkwardly. 

“right. i’ll see you around, yuuji. it was uh…nice to meet you, y/n.” 

“you too.”  

the second he walks away, the three of you start shouting at each other. 

“who the fuck was that?” you ask. 

“i’m repressed? why would you say that, nobara?” yuuji responds, head in his hands as he pulls at the pink strands. 

“because you fucking are. why were you staring at him like a deer in headlights? you had no problem putting your whole fucking tongue down his throat last night.” nobara responds. 

you gasp. 

“you kissed that guy last night?” you whisper. 

“yes! it was so fucking good, i literally didn’t even sleep last night out of pure excitement.” yuuji responds back, a hint of a giggle on his lips. 

the three of you silence at the sound of utahime’s tray smacking next to yours on the table, the three of you adjusting your posture – nobara and yuuji rubbing at their tired eyes – as you drop the conversation completely. 

“well, don’t stop on my accord.” she states. 

“good morning, utahime.” nobara responds, shooting you a pinched look. 

she sighs, hands aggressive with the knife on her plate as she slams it down against the porcelain. 

“just so you know, this is our one day to slack off since we’re touring the city. nobara, your beam is still sloppy. and y/n, i told you to start working on the other floor routine. i’ll let your shenanigans slide for today, but you both really need to stop fraternizing with other athletes and focus on what we’re really doing here.” 

“we’re not fraternizing with other athletes.” nobara states. 

utahime rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest, as she gives the two of you an accusatory look. 

“so the girl with the green hair three tables down is just staring bullets into the back of your head for no reason, kugisaki?” 

nobara’s cheeks go pink as she turns around – the girl immediately ducking her head down, embarrassed by being caught – as nobara turns back around and shakes her head. you can tell that utahime’s satisfied from her hunch being correct, as she turns her accusatory eyes towards  you. 

“and don’t even get me started on you.” 

“i’m not fraternizing with other athletes.” 

“right. satoru gojo’s sudden love for gymnastics just came out of nowhere, y/n.” she deadpans. 

you feel your throat dry. 

“what?” 

“you haven’t seen the tweets?” 

you shake your head, reaching for your phone in your pocket, as you slide open to the app. you note that there’s an obscene amount of notifications in your inbox but two that stand out particularly. 

@satorugojo followed you! 

@satorugojo retweeted your post. 

you click on the notification to find the video of you at the finals – doing your original floor routine. 

@satorugojo: every shred of patriotism coming back to my body as i watch the olympic gymnastics team…. 

you laugh at the tweet, cheeks warm from the acknowledgement – especially from someone with as many followers as him – as you immediately put your phone down and look back at utamime. 

“i’d watch out for him if i were you.” utahime states. 

“sorry, what?” 

“he knows how to get around. focus on your floor routine and less on slutting yourself out. we all know what we’re here for and let’s remember that.” 

her comment leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

--

“y/n, can you come here?” nobara asks. 

you and yuuji shoot a lazy look over your shoulders to see her standing at the door, rolling your eyes. 

“it’s your turn to pay for room service, bitch. don’t look at me.” you respond. 

nobara turns around properly, eyes shooting bullets into your forehead, as she gives you an awkwardly peachy smile. 

“y/n. i really think you’ll want to take this one.” she responds, her tone urgent. 

you reach for the closest object to you, one of yuuji’s shoes on the ground, and lazily throw it in her direction. 

“my bank account is doing just fine, actually. i think i’m good.” you respond. 

nobara turns around, raising her finger in the air gesturing for a pause, before picking up the show and throwing it right back at you with full force. she’s quick to walk over, yanking your arms up from the bed, as you rub the sore spot on your forehead. 

“get the fuck up. satoru fucking gojo is at the door asking for you.” she whispers. 

you shoot her an apologetic smile, yanking your jacket off from the hook on the door and pulling it on, as you walk over to the doorway to find satoru standing there, hands politely in his pockets as he gives you a smile. 

“good evening, rookie. how are you?” he asks. 

you pause. 

“i’m um…good, gojo. how are you?” you ask. 

“satoru.” he insists. 

you shake your head. 

“right. satoru. uh, to what do i owe the pleasure? at nine forty-five in the evening? at my dorm….?” 

he smiles. 

“i have an in with the people at the gym the same way i do with cornelia at the dining hall. do you want to come and keep me company?” he asks. 

you pause – hearing utahime’s words about slutting yourself out rattle in your head – as you give him an awkward smile. 

“right, i would love to go but –” 

it’s right at that moment that you feel two pairs of warm hands on your arms as nobara and yuuji rush to your side. 

“she’s right, she would love to go! which is why she’s going!” yuuji responds. 

satoru flickers his eyes in between the two of them, before looking back at you. you shoot him an apologetic smile, but not before the two of them keep talking. 

“she loves to go out with guys.” nobara adds. 

you elbow her in the side. 

“i mean, not other guys! just you. she hasn’t talked to anyone in four years.” yuuji adds, tapping you lovingly on the head. 

“but she’s not like decrepit or anything. she’s in her prime, trust us. she’s got a great ass.” nobara affirms. 

satoru flickers his eyes in between the two of them, before looking back at you. you shoot him an apologetic smile, but not before the two of them keep talking. 

“she loves swimming. knows everything about it.” nobara responds. 

“i mean, not everything. she doesn’t even know how to swim!” 

satoru’s eyes widen. 

“you don’t know how to swim?” he asks, eyes wide in shock – and what you pander is amusement. 

you sigh. 

“i’m scared of the water.” 

“well, now you have to come with me. swimming is a necessary survival skill, rookie. i can’t have you dying on me now.” 

satoru shoots you a boyish grin – one that you can tell excites nobara and yuuji, who you’re assuming are probably starstruck at this point – as they squeeze down on your arms and push you out of the door. the two of them give you bright smiles as they push you out of the door, leaving you and satoru alone in the hallway. 

you shoot him an awkward smile, as he reaches forward, twisting one of your pigtail braids in his hands. 

“they seem fun.” he jokes. 

you groan. 

“that’s an interesting word for it.” you respond. 

“who threw the shoe?” he asks. 

you pause. he leans forward, thumbs soft on your forehead as he rubs at the spot. 

“oh. nobara. but i threw it first so, it’s only fair.” you respond. 

“naturally.” he jokes. 

--

there’s a frigid chill in the gym as satoru opens the door for you, gesturing for you to enter the pool deck first, as he follows behind. the girl at the top of the stands shoots him a polite smile before leaving – which leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

who is she? is that who he has an in with at the gym? is that how he gets in with all of these girls – like cordelia and her – and most of all, now you? 

though you’re not really sure what you’d have to offer that he’d really want. 

“hey. you okay?” he asks. 

“hm?” 

“i was talking. you didn’t respond.” he states. 

you widen your eyes. 

“oh god, i’m sorry. was just in my head, thinking about the uneven practice i did this morning.” 

satoru walks all the way to the front of the aquamarine pool, plopping down as he pulls his shirt over his head, and dips his legs into the pool. you follow suit, discarding your shoes at your side, the two of you sitting shoulder to shoulder with your knees brushing as you swing your legs in the cold water. 

“what happened?” 

“nothing. i kind of face planted during the warm-up.” you state. 

“did you get hurt?” 

“just a little bit of carpet burn from the floor.” 

you lift the sleeve of your jacket up to show him the red marks on your forearm to which he leans forward, fingers featherlike as he brushes against the raised skin. he looks up at you, blue eyes peering into yours, that make you endlessly nervous before the thought comes to you. 

how many times has he used that move on someone else?

you immediately jerk your hand back, pulling your sleeve up as you shoot him a polite smile. he gives you a strange look, eyes focused back down on the water as he reaches forward and feels the temperature with his hand. 

“ready to go in?” he asks. 

you give him a nervous nod, as he jumps down into the pool, and you pull your shirt over your head. satoru’s waiting, eyes expectant as you look down at the water, at the ten feet depth, before looking back at him with nervousness jittering in your stomach. 

“don’t you think i should start with a smaller pool?” you ask. 

he shakes his head. 

“i’ve got you. i won’t let anything happen.” 

“you can’t just…drag me out if something happens.” 

satoru rolls his eyes. 

“you don’t do your research, do you?” he asks. 

“hm?” 

“small town college student turned gold olympic medalist. did you ever wonder how that even happened?” he asks, repeating your words from yesterday. 

“oh, no. how?” you ask. 

satoru smiles. 

“i got scouted at my job. as a lifeguard. trust me, i’m more than equipped to help you if something happens to you.” 

you sigh, eyeing the depth of the water, before looking back down at him. 

“okay, just. just…don’t let me go, okay? i’m not joking when i say i don’t know how to swim.” 

he gives you an encouraging smile, as you dip down into the pool, immediately feeling the weight of the water as the panic surges through you. you immediately reach forward, looping your arms around his neck and leaning forward against him, your grip death like. 

you can feel his hands on your waist, his grasp firm, as he leans back, his tone quiet as he talks. 

“relax.” 

“no, no. i should probably get out. this is really deep, satoru.” 

“y/n.”

“it’s dragging me down.” you state. 

“nothing’s dragging you down. i’m right here with you, rookie.” he whispers. 

“satoru.” 

“y/n.” 

“i can’t die before i go to the olympics!” you shout. 

satoru takes a beat, before giving you a full laugh. 

“you’re not going to die before you go to the olympics. you’re already here.” 

you groan, pressing your forehead against his bare collarbone as you feel the tenseness wrack all over your body, before one of his wet hands comes across your cheek, pulling you back with you flesh against his chest. 

“hey. this really won’t work unless you listen to me, okay?” he whispers. 

“okay. okay, okay. just…just…i’m being serious. please don’t let me go until i’m ready. this entire thing will blow up in your pretty face if you do.” 

satoru grins, pinching at the side of your cheek, as you glare at him. 

“this entire thing?” he asks. 

you want to bite your tongue. 

“you know. swimming.” 

“right. swimming.” he repeats. 

he hums in response, but you can tell that he doesn’t believe it. satoru drops his hand from your face, hands on your waist as he looks back up at you. 

“let go of me.” he responds. 

“no.” 

“y/n.”

“satoru, no.” 

“as much as i like you holding on to me the way you are, you won’t be able to swim if you don’t let go.” 

you sigh. 

“you’re going to paddle your feet back and forth like i am. when you let go, do the same thing with your arms, it’ll give you more control.” 

you look down at your feet, before satoru’s hand is at the bottom of your chin, guiding your gaze back up at him. 

“it’s not rocket science. don’t overthink it. it helps to keep your mind on something else.” he responds. 

you give him a nod as you start mimicking his motions, your legs heavy as lead, as you try to get yourself to do it. 

“uh. what do you think about? when you swim?” you ask. 

“porn.” he states. 

“what?” 

he lets out a boyish laugh and you feel your cheeks burn as you lift one of your hands to lightly smack at his shoulder. 

“that wasn’t funny.” you state. 

“it was a little funny.” he defends. 

“you were about to live up to your reputation there.” you state. 

satoru pauses, narrowed eyes, before he talks again. 

“my reputation?” he asks. 

you pause, regretting your last words, as you look up at him, shooting an apologetic smile as you try to backtrack. 

“i didn’t mean…you know a lot of people talk and i don’t mean to offend you when i say…” 

satoru smiles. 

“so that’s why you’re being weird.”

“i’m not being weird.” 

“can i say one thing before you continue?” he murmurs. 

you sink into the embarrassment, giving him a quiet nod. 

“if she says things about you that aren’t true, would you really expect her to be entirely truthful when she talks about everyone else too?” satoru asks. 

you groan – noting satoru’s sweet smile as he clocks you understand what he’s saying – and knot your hands back together behind his neck. 

“hey. i’m really sorry, satoru. i just thought that –” 

he smiles, reaching forward to cup the side of your face again. 

“no wonder you were glaring at that girl up there. i can promise you, the only reason that i get late night access to the gym is because my coach arranged it for me. i don’t even know her name.” 

you groan. 

“oh fuck, this is so embarrassing.” 

he laughs. 

“don’t worry, rookie. i’m flattered you’re so worried about it. but i’m not going anywhere.” he whispers. 

“you’re not?” 

he shakes his head. 

“i told you i wouldn’t let go.” he states. 

“i was talking about swimming.” you mumble. 

“and i wasn’t.” 

you smile at him – one that he fully returns back. 

he finally closes the space between two of you when he drops you back off at your dorm – matching pair of chlorine soaked hair – his skin still damp from the water. 

nobara and yuuji watch it through the peephole, their excited chatter behind the door pulling the two of you apart. 

--

almost fourteen days later – of you and satoru biking through amsterdam, you teaching him how to balance on a beam, and warm kisses later – you’re filled with nervousness at the thought of the floor routine. 

you can hear his voice in his head right there with yours. that you’ve got this. that you can’t overthink.  

there’s a tense energy in the air the morning of the final. you and nobara head down to the gym early, a very sleepy yuuji in tow for moral support, as you start drilling through your stretches. 

you note that yuuji’s not offering his moral support alone, the awkward encounter you had a week prior shockingly coming off as endearing to megumi, who sits at his side with a coffee in his hand. 

you can’t help but shake the feeling that the other teams are staring as you and nobara run through your warmups, the jittery feeling in your stomach accumulating as you chalk up your hands. 

you have to focus. it helps to think about something else. you’ve done this routine hundreds of times – just let the muscles take over. 

“you’re going to do the original floor routine. we’ll bet on it for the teams, but we’ll scale back for the all around at the end of the week if it’s lower than the trials.” masamichi states. 

you give him a non-committal nod, eyeing the bars as you walk up to the podium, jumping up as you feel for the swing of the equipment. you can see the australian gymnasts swinging through the air out of your peripheral vision, the chatter of the people talking around filling your ears as you try to focus. 

“no, i don’t think she’s coming.” 

“the seam of the uniform is kind of fraying at the end, i might try to change it.” 

“i’m just hoping to qualify for next time, when i have more time to train.” 

“i heard her and gojo do it in the pool. like all the time.” 

you miss the handle on the last swing, falling face first into the floor, the group of them turning around at the loud sound. you note that there’s a small sense of relief on their face from the mishap, as you lift off the floor, dusting the chalk off of your hands. 

you can feel your throat dry as you make your way over to the bench, where nobara is sitting, your mind swirling with anger. she gives you a squeeze on the shoulder in support and you note that yuuji tells you to shake it off from his place in the stands. 

“they’re saying that satoru and i did it in the pool last night.” you note, miserably. 

“dude. they talk. they’re trying to put you off your game. we’re not even talking about this right now. focus on the bars.” nobara responds. 

you sigh, looking back at the group of them as they fly on the beams, and feel the acid rise up in your throat. 

you knew that people talked. you knew that it was natural – to comment on what it was that they were seeing in the dining halls and the hallways – but it didn't make it any less fair. 

“fuck them.” she states. 

“i know, i’m just saying…” 

“who said it?” nobara asks. 

you pause, before pointing it out to her.

“she’s just jealous. you do know she’s been in interviews saying that the person she wants to meet the most is gojo, right?” 

you pause. 

“dude, everyone wants him. that’s not your fault. they might be slut shaming you now, but they would kill to be in your spot.” she responds. 

you pause, looking at the burn on the front of your shin. 

“if he doesn’t care what they say, why do you? if you see it through, all the shit they’re saying might not even matter if he’s actually worth your time. he’s happily ignoring all of it, for you, because he actually likes you. he wouldn’t be sitting there in the stands if he wasn’t.” she responds. 

“sitting in the stands?” you ask. 

nobara points toward the left, where you see satoru and three of his teammates sitting in the chairs, in the middle of the conversation. satoru gives you a wave now that you’ve looked over and you can’t help but walk over – noting the bright smile on his face as he starts walking over. 

you didn’t realize he’d be here this early. 

satoru leans over the railing, his hair dry for once as you look up at him. he reaches forward, fingers soft on your forehead, as he smiles. 

“hi rookie.” 

“what are you doing here?” you ask. 

“big gymnastics fan.” 

you give him an accusatory look. 

“did you watch me eat shit just now?” you ask. 

“any carpet burn?” 

“the trainer will wrap it when she comes in.” you state. 

he gives you a nod, reaching forward to cup the side of your face, before smiling. 

“don’t overthink it.” 

“i’m not.” 

satoru narrows his eyes at you. 

“give me a smile.” 

“satoru. don’t be patronizing.” 

he groans. you note that he gets more theatrical the closer you get to him. you find if funny. 

“god forbid, this pretty, sweet girl smiles at me. god forbid i would want to see that.” 

you roll your eyes. 

“oh wait! i’ve got something to take your mind off of it.” he adds. 

satoru gives you a smile, before leaning back on the railing, and unzipping the white windbreaker that he has on. you can’t help but immediately laugh, heart burning at the absolutely corny shirt that he’s wearing with your face on it. 

“oh my god.” 

“figured if they’re gonna talk, i might as well get all dressed up and give them something to look at, right?” 

“how did you even do that?” you ask. 

“maki knows a guy. had to show everyone i’m serious and rep the team.” he responds, gesturing over his shoulder. 

you shoot a non-committal glance over, shooting a smile to the girl – the girl with the green hair that you’ve been talking about ever since you’ve gotten here – before you widen your eyes and pull satoru down by his wrist. 

“you know the girl with the green hair?” 

“uh, yeah. she’s part of one of the volleyball teams. met her at the opening ceremony. she’s a lesbian before you say anything rude.” 

“idiot. i know she’s a lesbian. or well, i didn’t know that, i had a hunch. not that i assume things about people, i’m just saying that –” 

“you’re rambling.” he states. 

“maki is the girl that nobara eye fucks.” you whisper. 

you watch as satoru clocks what you’re saying, his eyes going past your shoulder to where nobara is sitting, before he turns around and gives maki a glance. 

“yeah, i’ll talk to her.” he states. 

you pause. 

“really?” 

“yeah, yeah. worry about it after, alright?” he responds. 

you can’t help but laugh, leaning forward as you press your hands to his cheeks, and close the distance between you two. satoru gives you another kiss on the cheek before you run off to share the news with nobara. 

--

the floor final is the very last and the way the last names work out, you’re the last person up to attend. nobara wobbles on her beam and utahime misses a few points for a bad landing – meaning that your score needs to be higher than it’s ever been to get it in good shape for the team. 

you all wait in silence, satoru’s hand over the railing in yours, his chin on the crown of your head, as you wait for the new score to be reflected on the screen. 

utahime challenged the floor score that they gave you. because if she counted her numbers right, your score should have been 0.3 points higher – meaning that your team would be in range to medal as first. 

the problem? challenging the score can get you more points. or dock them all together. you could easily go from a silver medal to nothing at all. utahime makes the executive decision to bet on it. 

satoru leans down, nose pressed against your hair as he presses a kiss to the top of your head. 

“she really challenged the score for you?” he asks. 

“we are a team after all.” you mumble. 

satoru nods, hands soft on your shoulder as he squeezes the tense spots. 

“how much longer?” he asks. 

satoru brings his hands down the railing, thumbs rubbing into the softness of your cheek as you watch the announcer walk up to the microphone, cardstock note in his hand as he reads off the note from the judges. 

“i can’t listen.” you state, placing your hands over your ears, the sound half muffled and mixed with the cheers in the crowd as they start jumping behind you, nearly shaking the floor you’re standing on as you look back at satoru, blue eyes wide. 

satoru leans forward, arms harsh as he hugs you hard, nearly panting in your ear as you pull back, knotting your hands behind his neck. 

“what?” 

“you won a fucking gold medal, dumbass. what do you mean what?” he breathes, hands shaking with anticipation as he leans forward, closing the distance between you. 

you can barely process the thought as he pulls back, tucking his face into your neck, and wrapping his arms around you as yuuji wraps the flag around your shoulders, the group of them jumping in the stands. 

“wait, i…” 

“go get your fucking medal. come back later, nobara’s waiting.” 

you can feel your legs shaking, warm tears in your eyes as nobara gestures for you to join her, hand extended out as you step off the platform. 

you won the medal.

you take three steps off before running straight back up, pressing your lips to satoru’s one more time, before joining nobara on the podium. and you can’t help but beam at satoru right across the way and note the way he has his hand pressed to his heart. 

--

satoru gojo wins five medals at the end of the week – all of which are gold – and notes that his secret to success is having a reinvigorated sense of drive in the sport. 

that teaching someone the basics reminds him of why he fell in love with it in the first place. 

you’re the only one who knows that he’s not talking about the swimming. 

--

an: please be nice im rusty

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