#the very name everyone else calls him?
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Here we have Gary calling Jamie by his surname because he’s FLIRTING (bless)
Here we also have Roy being Roy
#gary neville#jamie carragher#carraville#roy keane#gary are you physically allergic to calling Jamie by his actual name??#because at this point I’m convinced you are#it’s always carra this and carra that#you even call him james when you’re annoyed#because you’re such a wife#but jamie?#the very name everyone else calls him?#no#obviously not#it’s giving relationship
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Recently had a silly Handplates dream where Papyrus was trying to snoop around Gaster and Alphys’ lab, but didn’t know who Alphys was and so was trying to pass it off as his own lab lol (Patreon)
#Doodles#Dream log#UT#Handplates#Papyrus#Gaster#Sans#Alphys#And also he was Big Brother Papyrus to a babybones Sans lol#I doodled them as close to the dream as possible so if it's silly or doesn't make sense take it up with my subconscious lol#I remember Gaster had a reputation for being very charming and charismatic which ?? Sure okay lol#He was also quite smiley - personally I read that as him putting on a face to the public but even that seems out of character for him lol#Everyone else was pretty much as usual - Alphys small and nervous and Papyrus loud and bombastic#I don't remember what exactly he was looking for - doubly weird 'cause I hadn't reread him and Sans exploring yet! :0#Just of them moving into their house - though I did read a bunch just before sleeping so safe to say I can attribute that lol#This was the only really clear part of the dream - the rest was just scrolling scrolling scrolling pages and pages of comic panels#Can't imagine why lol#Also intercut with some of the poses I ended up doodling before - surprise! They were dream doodles lol#Also in case it's not clear - Alphys was Very Much Present while Papyrus was trying to pass himself off as the name on the door lol#Oh yeah I'm pretty sure he was also speaking in WingDings thus why Alphys didn't immediately call him out lol#The room was quite cute actually - not at all the sterile grey of the True Lab#Warm and wooden with high windows nearly covered in clutter and paperwork with a desk in the middle lit by yellow light#Cozy#Barely evil-looking at all
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sorry but my headcannon is that Adler is a good dad despite having to be absent a lot of the time and he absolutely adores his kids and sees them whenever he possibly can and also that he’d still move heaven and earth for his ex wife despite being divorced and that one of his main motivations to “fight” for his country and make it back home alive is for his kids and he literally gives them EVERYTHING they could possibly want in life even if he can’t be there all the time and he’s extremely protective and he literally does everything to ensure their safety and is always mindful and worried they’re constantly at risk because of him and none of you can take that away from me I’m sorry
#russell adler#call of duty black ops 6#I don’t care#argue with the wall#he’s an asshole to everyone else#not to the people he loves#I’ll die on that hill#him being a bad father is too predictable#I think it would be dead traditional and troupey#like he’d spoil and pamper and baby his daughter#be harsher on his son#this is just my senseless mind rot take it or leave it#look I’m just saying the guy has to have some redeeming factors#I’m deciding that being a good father is one of them#he’s at the very least very careful and protective of them given that their names are redacted#he pulled strings to make that happen?
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started reading the lymond chronicles and I truly have no idea what’s going on but I do like the funny words this guy is speaking to me
#me#the lymond chronicles#game of kings#this is very sincerely not a bit: I have no idea what’s happening plot-wise#all I have are names and the vibes#Jonathan crouch. is important. for some reason#and also Francis came to attack richard w his mercenaries but then richards buddy/ally Tom pulled up to help him#and somehow the outcome of that was Francis? getting bonked on the head and going temporary amnesia#meanwhile Will has disappeared from the story atm but Tom reported on his being with Francis to will’s dad#but he didn’t report on whether or not they like. actually fought a battle? did Will get hurt in the battle? was there a battle?#maybe Francis just got whacked with a brick and everyone else was like ‘whelp’ and called it a day#the actual historical stuff I’m totally on top of bc of my childhood Tudor-era British history obsession#but the characters specific to the books are befuddling me
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Late Night quick thing (New Age Sillies)
Bad news: That joke post about including Reset + Orchid is definitely not canon. (I legit got sad thinking about Reset being in a universe where Orchid isn't- because their stories are so so intertwined- but Nightmare 100% would NOT risk the whole twins exploding Error's soul thing.)
Good news: This means I COULD include Kane (Reset's older brother who usually dies in timelines where Reset is born) and use it to develope his character a bit more! Also! Perhaps a Blue × Dream kiddo is finally in the stars for me to design?
#new age au#really enjoying the idea of Reaper + Geno having an heir at some point (and them sending that heir over to Night's kingdom for#exposure to other places as well as to hang with his third cool knight dad who's hard at work 🙏)#Kane has little to no development besides being a perfect angel (foil to Reset's eventual turn to poor choices) so I'd love to do#to him what I do to every oc of mine. (Namely: Throw them into the Kingdom and see what they do.)#oh! and I could see Blue and Dream (beloved boys) listening to the warnings of possible complications if they try to have a lil babybones#and Dream deciding he'd take the risk and carry the growing soul#(<- though tbf this is MANY years into the future and they'd be well established knights of the realm)#i'm not evil so they *would* manage to avoid the twins curse and have a singular beautiful babybones#they'd get raised partially on the move but stay behind with Night and Error if the two had a more dangerous mission#and grow up to be an obnoxiously powerful warrior following after their dads#(but they'd probably be hesitant to follow into the footsteps of being a knight and might go on a quest with friends before choosing a#final path for themselves)#<- Most spoiled rotten kid ever. courtesy of Nightmare and Error and all their extended family <3#oh last note. Ancha has me cracking up w/ ideas for Cross potentially meeting someone and I was beamed w/ an old ship request post I saw and#I think it'd be funny to include Lust in here somehow... (probably call him smth else as a nickname but y'know-)#like. He works in the city around the castle as some sort of... idk tailor? and he's been making things for Nightmare for years without#knowing because Ccino always was discreet about the orders and providing measurements + always tipped well so it was none of his business#but one day it's like. before a big announcement ceremony or smth and Ccino drags Cross in by the scruff because no one can get him to get#clothes that actually fit aside from armor (hc he steals the others clothes a lot and wears 1 shirt until it's threadbare)#so Ccino makes him go to Lust and Lust is able to get him fitted for sone new outfits because. well. Lust doesn't do much but he's very very#handsome and Cross is super easily flustered and shy around new people and he's awkward and aughhh.#and then he thinks about the interaction for the next month before deciding he's going to ask Ccino to go back there again.#and Lust likes dressing Cross up in new outfits (everyone thinks it's great Cross is loosening up and meeting new friends cuz Lust introduce#s him to people in town) and it takes forever for Cross to get over his worries and ask Lust out to a ride on his horse (romantic. of course#) and Lust agrees because he's charmed.#and the best part would be Cross *actually* manages to keep it a secret. like. no one finds out until one morning Killer bursts into Cross'#room to wake him for surprise training and it's Cross. the weird Dog. and- holy shit did Cross have someone over???#Cross pulls the cool ones frfr 🙏#it's just a casual thing between them with little plot relevance or drama I think. just a chill lil relationship 🙏
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ninjago seabound hurts. so much. what the fuck
#ninjago seabound#i think this might be the thing to get me drawing again#we shall see#also im very close to crying haha#she turned. into the sea. to save him#and like. the city and all their friends too but he was quite literally dying and the only answer was for her to become one with the sea an#and she#and he sees her after having the water taken out of his lungs. he sees her out the window and she sees him and they put their hands on#either side of the glass. and he doesn't yet know what she did. what it would cost#in the fight later. he sees her explode and takes on kalmaar with blind fury#and then she's back- as a dragon now- and she explodes again and comes back as a bigger dragon and#how can he think anything but good things? he knows what she did now but she's so strong. so invincible. ofc she'll overcome the odds#she'll keep herself together! she will. he has to believe that#and then she wins. and its all over. and everyone's saying they'll just have to get used to her watery body for now#until they find a way to turn her back.#she doesn't understand. she doesn't remember who she used to be. is actively losing the battle to retain her self#and they plead. all of her friends. her master. her Brother.#and him. Jay. her boyfriend.#and there's a moment. a single brief moment where she turns back.#she smiles and holds jay's hands. she caresses his cheek.#and just as quick as she came#she left. jay screaming her name as she dives back into the sea#and then the funeral. because what else do you call it but a funeral.#they call all of her friends and family. they pour seawater in an urn. they hold a service of sorts.#and i'd like to imagine each person feels responsible in some way. for not doing more. for not being as convincing to her.#some feel it more than others. Wu is- was her master. Kai her brother.#and Jay. Jay was her-#out of all of them Jay beat himself up the most. because what good is love if you can't convince them to stay?#woah sorry about that i was possessed by angst#also i feel like you could tie in Jay's abandonment issues with his birth parents here if that wasn't clear <3
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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.
#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean#so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him#a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww#i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now#but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting#so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3#and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that#so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it#anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of#doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes#all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups#(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really#tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze#i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time#but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it#will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy#would be. and i cant do that for him#again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go#'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad#ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not#because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience#to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever#because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it#^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows#idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster#about it and i want it so bad
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the biggest thing about X6 is not that he doesn't think of himself as human (though he doesn't, and according to some it's correct) BUT that he doesn't see himself as a Person
#searching through the X6-88 tag on tumblr has not brought me joy#also. 1 thing about is that i hate hate hate the (i think) canon blue eyes he has. like. for fucking what#1st i saw them on tumblr and thought 'well thats stupid. whyd you give him blue eyes? so hed look special? thats weird. at least its uncanon#also. on god. i saw some post headcanoning the companions' appearances and it was p cool UNTIL they got to x6#and they gave him grey 'almost white' eyes for literally no reason. like if you want to go with the scary factor theres so many ways for it#but no. some people think that blue/grey eyes are sooo special. and for what#<- i have brown eyes but im not just being salty. it really sucks. i dont wanna be the one to call fandom racism but it does smell like it!#also like. i didnt want to go on a stupid tirade about racism in the tags again but the way fandom treats x6 AND preston is just upsetting#other people have made some very good points about it and im not going to repeat them here (also noones gonna read this)#but like... theres 3 'main' black characters that i remember: preston garvey (whom the stron majority of the fandom hates/disliked)#x6-88 (basically the players slave? also hated for being mean and unfeeling (which is justified imo). no quest no freedom no nothing)#and gloria (who i havent met in game but ive heard some actual criticisms of (like. the way shes treated ingame) and noone else talks about)#if theres any other Named and Important characters. sorry but i literally do not remember them#coming back to x6 being justified in being unemotional/mean. he was literally raised this way. he doesnt consider himself to be a person#being he was made that way. he is a Thing and hes meant for one job and hes made to inspire fear#and hes not supposed to have emotions so he just. doesnt. if he does he cant express them anyways#1 if fallout4 was a better written game (or 2 if x6 was white) i think thered be SO much fanfiction about him. the possibilities are endless#i have something brewing in the back of my head. i might start writing even though i suck and its going to be bad#ANYWAYS. general fandom thought on x6 are WRONG and im being a HATER. fuck everyone who doesn't like x6. if you dont like x6 get off tumblr#especially if you like gage but not x6. leave fr#i just woke up wtf am i doingggg
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Something that really bothers me about the rose coloured glasses vis a vis tellius and fe fans (ESPECIALLY from 3h fans who learned about tellius later) is that many like soren purely because of his main ship (i mean i like ikesoren too but come the fuck on) and jokingly characterise soren as a stereotypical nasty mean limp wristed sarcastic gay man instead of a deeply flawed branded angry at the world and definitely trauma bonded to ike, but micaiah is still absolutely getting raked over the coals over the blood pact and not being ike’s fangirl
Well,
Jokes often involve flanderisation, so Soren being flanderised to oblivion when people joke about him isn't something I really care about, but maybe that's because I'm not really fond of Soren to begin with lol
What annoys me more is when some people try to rationalise Soren's anger and backstory by either pointing at Almedha or Deghinsea being responsible for everything, and I'm like, what.the.fuck?
Almedha's just, idk, I won't call it sexism, but damn - that woman loves her son who is the only reason why she hasn't completely lost her mind over 1/losing her powers 2/being casted away like trash by her "BF" 3/being rejected by her dad 4/thinking her brother was tortured and abused to death because of her actions 5/being separated from her beloved child.
Deghinsea being "uwu bad bcs he's the reason why brandeds are rejected by both beorcs and laguz" is another take I really am not fond of, and iirc I wrote a post earlier this year about it? But to some people who buy the "Crusts BaD" as the reason why Fodlan sucks, I guess they need to have someone to name and pill all of the world's nonsense rather than, well, in Tellius' case, realise that the worldbulding and the lore really sucks, to the point where the duology touted as the most "against racism" of the franchise, is pretty much way more racist than anything Tru Piss can throw us (yes, because in Tru Piss we have characters rejecting coexistence, in Tellius, it's the world mechanics - whenever a Beorc and a Laguz coexist too much, the Laguz dies...).
As for Miccy,
Just like, imo, Soren gains some "new" attention and "uwu excuses for why he's being a snarky jerk at times", Miccy used to be bashed when FE10 was released (with all the Mary Sue accusation being thrown around!) because she was written to be a sort of foil/antagonist to Ike, and when the party reunited, she was demoted to a "soul-jar" role, let it be regarding the greater plot, or, even, her own backstory!
TBH, for people who didn't play FE10, if Ike is the bestest thing since melted cheese, Miccy, who opposes him, must be BaD and so you can pile everything you don't like on her, hoping to see it stick.
Or even worse, I've seen posts here and there comparing Miccy to Supreme Leader and how misunderstood uwu she is, which is the worst insult poor Miccy ever received since FE10 came out rofl
#2goldensnitches#do you want to kill me friend lol#once upon a time discussions about soren and miccy were very animated lol#anyways i still don't like how some part of the fandom tries to uwu him#he is a character with flaws that sure are never called out in the game and by the main character but#they exist#and to uwu them away is imo a disservice and not a good reading on him#'but his backstory sad uwus' Sephiran also has a crapton of sad uwus for his backstory#and yet the game chews him out about his plans to destroy the world because hey fuck off#it's not fair to condemn the world and everyone who lives in it for your suffering#It's sort of hilarious because sometimes I wonder if Miccy wasn't also written as a Soren foil#Miccy is the one who doesn't like when Beorc call Laguz names#she lives in racist land and knows she has to hide else she'll die too#but she still came to care about the people who live here#she gets to talk to Vika who feels weirded out by her being a branded and yet they agree to continue talking/being friends despite it#Miccy never insults Rafiel calling him a half beast#Soren follows Ike and his lead but Miccy has to take the lead despite wanting to follow Pelleas at first#tfw we know more about Soren's backstory even after being kicked away from Daein than Miccy's lol#granted I loved what FE10 with Almedha when you see that some of his worst traits/flaws are actually shared by his mom lol#tl;dr : a Soren raised by his mom would have been even more of a jerk than the one we got#i have a lot of feelings about how Miccy was treated in FE10 which in turn sort of explains the vitriol she received from the fandom#but that's for another post lol else it'll be too long#basically FE10 is more Ike v.2 than a game where Miccy is the Lord
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the one (1) leaf that i think larian should've taken out of da's book is allowing us to name the owlbear cub. hes the new mabari. ur telling me hes just going to be named owlbear cub the whole time we have him???? 200 hrs in and my lil guy doesnt even have a name????
anyway rb this and tell me what ur tav calls him pls <3
#baldur’s gate 3#baldur’s gate#bg3#bg3 posting /#callista chugs a potion of animal speaking n sits with him going through names for over an hour until he settles on one he likes#(it's jack. he preens when he chooses it. everyone finds it very sweet).#estie names him leonidas. because of course she does. everyone else calls him leo tho bc REALLY estie ur being ridiculous.#alarice names him alvin <3 bc she thinks he 'looks like an alvin' whatever that means#izevel definitely doesnt pick him up so the less that's said abt that the better
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Truly hate tiktok tim stans
#go on a vid about Jason’s hill run to say ‘tim is so neglected :(‘#HE GOT EVERYTHING ELSE!#sorry that nobody cares about that Nigga who can’t even take Robin out his name atp#and can we look at WHT they’re giving everyone else lmao#Damian’s stories are ass sorry#giving him the same ass development he’s BEEN getting and trying to make him as tim like as possible#nightwing. hate to say it y’all but it’s BORING#gotham war was trash for everyone involved#and the hill is just what Jason’s getting now#not even including Duke steph and cass#which whenever y’all talk about how much DC hates tim I’ll just point over there#cause let’s be serious#my thing with tim is YES! his writing rn is stagnant#but I in my heart of hearts believe if they gave us a tim run accurate to who he is y’all either wouldn’t read it or call it fanon#unless he’s this badass trying to reblow up the league and being ignored or admired by everyone around him y’all wouldn’t fw it#like y’all don’t want more tim issues y’all want WFA but purely tim centric#y’all want tim in his most manic state possible as base character#like it’s so annoying#bc like I always say I think canon tim is fun#very fun#but fanon tim not only being widely accepted but taken in by canon recently? gross#we’re never gonna a tim with a backbone ever again
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Ok is it just me or does Haruka have trans fem vibes or-
#wearing his mother's jewelry#wanting to be born differently#wanting to be normal and do what everyone else can do#insisting on wanting to be his mother's good boy which reads to me as trying to present as what she wants him to#killing his self (the girl) to keep doing that#'you never called me by my name'#tic posts#milgram#milgram haruka#haruka sakurai#meta#???#its all in tags but w/e#edit as i realize i forgot a thought i had: yeah we dont actually know who the girl is so im electing to believe its haruka#considering that in the first vid haruka seems to be killing his younger self and he does that very thing to the girl...
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Trans kiryu is a genuinely funny hc because like trans majima is like oohh angst ohh she has to fight to be accepted she has to deal with people making fun of her for being a man in a dress she has to take into account her position and social standing and kiryu is literally just kiryu forever because the universe loves him too much to ever force him into a situation unless its to go to prison in which case hes like yayyy i love jail yayy yayyy
#Yakzua loveblog#im just talking to myself you guys dont need to read anything#in fact dont read this im going to talk about transphobic nishiki again anyway#my transphobic nishiki hc is the most important one to me because. like we all need to have some transphobic people in our lives#i do think that nishiki calls him ‘kiryu’ even though theyre best friends forever because when nishiki will always accidentally say his#deadname instead of ‘kazuma’ even though i know that nishiki is literally the one who gave him the name kazuma to make fun of kiryu for#thinking hes a boy and it just kind of stuck but nishiki eventually stuck. with calling him kiryu because thats how he prefers to be called#they are bestfriends for a reason .... and nishiki is the only one kiryu will let be transphobic towards him because theyve known each other#for forever and he knows he means no harm by it like he will still hit him but nishiki takes it in stride because its their thing and its#never not funny to make kiryu annoyed like for anyone else its an uncrossable line but once a month nishiki will lead kiryu into the womens#section to shop for new clothes and kiryus like Somehow i always knew you wore womens jeans and nishikis like HEY !!!!#but as kids they were always very cute because theyre always together and you can never really tell whos following who because it seems like#theyre on the same wavelength until nishiki realises that life is so much easier when youre working smart so he went to work on his INT stat#while kiryu never stopped being a wild animal like hes literally some sort of monkey to me sorry for dehumanising him because of his autism#like i adore his ‘own little bubble’ way of life as long as he’s physically okay kiryus not going to complain about anything. like when he#said ‘i decide to do things based on whether i love it or hate it’ im like Yeah i bet you do. he sits outside the orphanage all day playing#with rocks until nishiki comes finds him then they both go outside to smash open windows with the rocks kiryu has gathered and kiryus in his#little skirt and he always uses it to carry things in you know how it is and he stopped going to school to be a bigger menace than everyone#anyway did i mention that the universe loves kiryu. especially his genes he was very lucky because he never had a big chest or nothing he#was always going to get tall and thick in the shoulders and beefy and when he cut his hair it just sealed the deal he passed with flying#colours like young children are indistinguishable by gender unless they have a big pink bow in their hair but kiryu radiated masculinity#from a young age and his aggressive way of life didnt help. well it helped a lot actually. a lot of people were scared of him and nishikis#like dont be scared of kiryu shes nice when you get to know her and everyones like ?? thats a girl ???#in fact it made more sense for kiryu to be a boy at that point so he went to kazama and told him and kazama was like ok lets make it happen#like kiryu and nishiki are so special because there is nobody in the universe more transphobic to kiryu than his own brother but also nishik#was the one helping kiryu shop for boy clothes when he was clueless about it like hes not stupid but he really doesnt know about fashion and#he trusts nishiki to not make him look stupid and nishiki is of course like 😏 well well well youre having a girl moment arent you#nishiki is okay with kiryu being a guy because this means that now whenever kiryu hits him he can fight back without being misogynistic#okay im done talking my noodles are getting cold but kiryu as a kid would have been a veritable nightmare#oh yeah my trans beam extended to nishitani as well because just look at him. everybody majima wants to sex is trans
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#okay it's been a while BUT maybe some of you remember my friend 'joe'#not his name it's a fake name that i only use here lol but anyway#joe was my next door neighbor in sacramento#he's like 15 years older than me and is a stoner electrician filmmaker artist type#a true freak in the sense that he is Different Than Everyone Else#like very. very. very unusual person#my wife and i became very close with him and we used to do all kinds of cool stuff together#along with his partner who i will call 'amy'!#since we moved to LA we only see him once or twice a year#usually when he drives down to visit and help us renovate our house#he encourages my art more than anyone in the world pretty much#my stupid amateur music and my little projects and my smut fanfiction literally all of it#sometimes he pisses me off because he's a white cishet man lmao#but mostly he's got the right idea about shit#i love joe forever and ever and ever he's truly one of my closest friends in my life even when we don't talk for months#ANYWAY JOE IS COMING TO VISIT ON WEDNESDAY AND I AM SO EXCITED#i havent seen him since way before the baby was born! so its been like a year??#its been a while! but he's coming for at least a few days#maybe a week? i dont know#and he's bringing amy this time!!!!#amy is so cool. a very chill and kind and wise person#i love her too but JOE! I'M GONNA HANG OUT WITH JOE!!!!!!!!!!#i dunno man ever since we moved down here i've been so isolated#and i was already relatively isolated in sac lol#but down here its like damn. just me and the wife and kids#and my wife's family#but when Joe comes to visit i feel like a real person again#joe#not sure if i have a tag for joe but just in case lol
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I do love isadora but my last sole survivor....he just had a zest to him. that lil guy came to me in a period of my life where I was Somewhat Deranged and my boy jesse diederik pieter willem gustav stefan boswel just has so much nostalgia for me and so much weird shit. he was my lil bug. and ive killed him
#canonical things about jesse [insert middle names] boswel#he thinks ketchup is a beverage#he read too much shit like cotton mather and nikolay nekrosov and it turned him into a pretensious dork#he speaks like a gothic victorian for this reason also#he makes obvious references to shit he assumes other people wont understand specifically so he can talk about it#he tucks his pants into his socks and wears socks inside out because fuck seams#he made a one man cult based on the biblia americana and thinks science is a way of unraveling the will of God#hes extremely religious but not an ass. just a zealot. hes very devoted to his faith#his faith traumatized him to the point he tried burning himself alive#he had a day tripper addiction in college and hallucinated the same black dog stalking him#he strongly suspects this dog possesed him and partially ate a classmate while he was blackout drunk#he suspects this because he had to cannibalize [already dead] squadmates in china to survive and thinks the dog was. instilling that in him#he never once looked his stepmother in the eye. even though she was the only one to visit him in the psych ward#he puts lemon pepper in his coffee#a handsome dude is like a flashbang to his sensibilities#he has a fear of dogs and fire (im sure u can imagine why)#he was raised rich af but ate from the garbage if not sprayed with water#he was called racoon in college for his eyebags and eating from trash cans#his favorite color is blue and he makes it everyone elses problem#he has never raised his voice. ever#he likes irradiated food because it tastes like coins and he likes sucking on coins as a nervous tic#he cannot eat meat anymore after 1 confirmed cannibalization and 1 unconfirmed coung#count*#that girl was very much cannibalized btw. by jess? a mystery#he frequently consumed lead by accidentally eating pencils while chewing on them and not paying attention#that probably explains a lot of his. everything#he monologs about poetic philosophy shit in one breath and wonders if birds can hear despite not having ears the next#he is the first person in a room to offer help with anything and the first to balk at being offered it#he is a FREAK. i love and miss him :< i might try to rework my own lil world...bring him back...love isa but i love my disaster white men#isa is too mentally stable. shes got her shit figured out. i admire n love her but what is the point of ocs if not to play with the horrors
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I am once again sad that a person I bonded with in a dream is not real
#ALEX. where are you and who are youuuu#okay so the dream was crazy. like.. coherent by my usual standards but still ridiculous#i was back at high school but was the age i am now & i was attending a class in ‘business and employment’ which was supposed to help us all#get jobs and learn skills. but in reality the vast majority of the people in the class (including myself) were in mlm schemes#(multi-level marketing before anyone gets confused with the acronym)#myself and the entirety of my high school friend group (about 8 or 9 people) formed the largest faction and we were selling fragrances#for exactly the sort of company you would expect. anyway. i’d been elected manager even though someone else in the group (who actually sells#this shit irl lol) had recruited me & another person’s mom had invested money into it so that none of us had to actually buy inventory#and i was so uncomfortable and ashamed. i was like ‘okay i’ll just do this for a month and then bounce so i can at least get work/management#experience’. so i was very much checked out when everyone was brainstorming ideas for how to come up with a brand & sell it#the only thing i did notice is that there was this guy named alex who was pretty much reporting us whenever we breathed. an example would be#we wanted to call ourselves ‘lions’ but apparently that was the name of an lgbt society in the area that was important to him#so he complained to the teacher/facilitator about us and we couldn’t use lions. and our whole group was complaining about him#but i was thinking ‘fuck i hope he gets us shut down’. he seemed like a nice guy and the stuff people started saying was borderline#homophobic so i had to be the one to shut them down like ‘hey i’m bi as well and i’m your fucking manager. any more of that and you can find#yourself a new job’#so anyway. next thing that happened was the facilitator was like ‘okay we seem to have pretty much been taken over by mlm schemes BUT here#is a list of people in the class who do not want to be recruited & their reasoning. just so you can take note’ and she does a presentation#of course it starts with alex and his ideological opposition to mlms; but there are other people like a girl who has a large academic#workload. but it becomes apparent that alex is the one who rallied them all together to spread dissent. so i went over to talk to him#(for some reason he was now hiding in a tent) and i was like ‘yes alex!!!! can i shake your hand?’ and he was puzzled but he let me#then i stood up and said ‘can i just say something. everyone has great reasons for not wanting to be recruited and as a manager; i want to#say that if i catch any of my employees trying to recruit anyone on the do not recruit list for any reason; you will be fired immediately’#of course this causes a schism. but it also causes me and alex to end up having a heart-to-heart where he’s like ‘why are you even part of#one of these things’ and i’m like ‘honestly i just want legitimate work experience’ and he’s like ‘i can think of so many more legitimate#jobs. including like. fly-tipping. i’d rather have that on my cv than scentsy’ and i was like ‘you’re so right’#and then i woke up thinking ‘god i’m going to have to go door to door selling this shit’ but then i realised i actually didn’t#and i was so happy#it has motivated me to go back to job-hunting though because my god.#that five minutes when i thought i was going to have to traverse the neighbourhood dressed like an idiot and selling wax melts? bleak.
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