#the version of writers block where you can write but only new things

[shae-pine]

I keep making more somebody help(but like if you wanted to ask questions about them that’s cool too)

[shaisuki]

DADDY'S HOME

FT. GOJO SATORU, NANAMI KENTO, TOJI FUSHIGURO, GETO SUGURU

content warnings: yandere themes, past mentions of abuse, noncon, baby trapping, dubcon, manipulation, stalking, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, ooc characters, crying, redemption arc?, murder, abuse, rushed writing. dead dove do not eat.

notes. my first post in april. been struggling for awhile and having writer's block plus having the new addition of two chunky puppies that looks like potatoes with legs. requests are slowly being worked on and i deeply apologize for the delay. thank you!

synopsis: long they searched for you and only to find out you have a child. their child. would they be still the same person who had hurt you or a changed man for the sake of your child?

GOJO SATORU

“where's your mom, little guy?”

there is no doubt about it. the child in front of him is his. it is like looking at the younger version of himself except for the hair, dyed black to conceal the snow-white hair identical to him. how fast can he come up with the conclusion that the child is his?

gojo was careful of the past hookups he got tangled with. there's no way he will knock some random stranger and be forced to take responsibility for a child he didn't want. there is only one person he did get pregnant, you.

his wife who escaped left him a few years ago with his unborn child growing inside your belly. funny how all those escape attempts you'd done in the past, you only succeeded once and that is when you're pregnant and then after that you disappeared like you didn't exist in his life but gojo isn't that willing to let you go. he will find you. there's no force or power in this life that can stop in him and only fate to intervene and guide him to you which leaves him in this current situation.

the sun begins to set and the clouds turned into a mix of oranges and red. the swing makes a creaking sound as it sways back and forth along with chains clanging with every move. resonating into the emptiness of the park and his son only ignores him. barely glancing at him while staring at the distance. waiting. waiting for his mother. waiting for his wife to pick him up.

gojo chuckles at the cold treatment his son have been giving him. hadn't been the most affectionate person just like when he's at that age. unforgiving and arrogant. he looked at the ground beneath him. a brief memory flashes by before looking at his son again. leaving the swing at a flash and sprinting towards someone. he follows the little boy and gojo smirks. fate do favor him.

“mama!” your little boy called to you. almost jumping in your arms and you fumbled a bit. balancing the plastic bags in your hold to pick up your son. threading his hair with your fingers and kissing his forehead like you always do.

“satoshi! sorry for making you wait. mama had errands to do. how are you?” in which your son looks at you with a huge grin in his face. making you smile in return and he whips his head to look at the swings and you followed his sight. there he is, your nightmare. the reason you have your son.

the temperature drops with every second as the wind blows stronger. you hugged your son tighter to you. your body freezing with your mind telling you to run and with a deep breath. you squeezed your son before taking a step backwards and turning around. never looking back.

he watched as his son went to you and you picking him up and you realizing that he's near you. just within arm's reach and that fear coming from you. good to know he still have a hold on you.

calm down! you tell to yourself while you carried satoshi away from that man. you know you can't hide from him forever. you will just run again. no matter how many times. you did it once — what's the difference of doing it again.

you write a mental note to yourself to pack your bags after this. you're not going back again to him, not with your child. you don't want him to go through the same things he put you through. he was already dead to your son and to you and he's merely a ghost who terrorizes you. when you got home, you made sure to lock all your doors before making dinner and tucking your son to bed and then you grab the bags.

after packing up the last necessities, you slowly trudged your way up to your son's room and your heart drops when you see him looming besides your son's sleeping figure.

“quite bold of you.” he began to speak and your lips tremble. he didn't face you and kept looking at his son. your face bereave with anger. “s—” the words die out before he interrupted you.

“going as far to dye my boy's hair. almost thought he's not mine and thinking you found yourself another man to take care of you. breaks my heart to kill him and take you.” caressing his son's hair. satoshi remained asleep despite the scene unfolding.

“satoshi doesn't need someone like you. we don't need you. stay away from him. from us.” you murmured. careful not to wake satoshi up and find his father. you don't need someone like gojo to be around satoshi.

“can't i?” said satoru. slowly standing up and making his way to you. “cause the last thing i remember, you were still mrs. gojo. pregnant with my baby.” you let out a silent yelp when he suddenly hugged you.

“let go.” you firmly warned him. squirming from his grasp but he only held you tighter. “i won't. now you're here with me. you don't know how much i have missed you.” he breathes out. his hand in the back of your head until it slowly descends on your back. squeezing the dips of your hips and you silently gasp. trying to keep the tears at bay. his nose in the pulse of your neck. breathing in your scent. “you won't deny me.” he whispers and before he could fully go down in you. he hears the bed creak, followed by someone shifting and a sniffle coming from his son. his hold got loose on you and with that, you pushed him off. joining his son in his bed to comfort him.

satoshi sniffles, his eyes fluttering and showing the blues that he inherited from his father. “mama?” he calls you and you immediately shush him. “mama's here, satoshi.” you coo. pulling the covers and tucking it beside you and satoshi latched into you. his eyes beading with tears. “it's just a nightmare, satoshi. nothing's going to hurt you.” you lied. there's only one who could hurt you both. the man who put you in hell for his own. he can do that to satoshi too and you won't let him.

although gojo had longed and wanted to take you there at the moment, he let you tend to his son. set aside the urges of longing for you who left him. a discovery he just had found hours ago. he's a father now. his back presses at the cold wall behind him and he melts at the tender moment before him. this is what you had been doing for the last five years and is it that long. five years. five years had gone by and he missed it. he wasn't there to take care for you and watch his child grow up. you stole the years and the moments where he could be with you and his son.

there's the gnawing feeling that eats him inside. the betrayal simmering in his chest the day you left him, days after he received the news that you were carrying his heir. it feels like an eternity after that.

when satoshi finally settled and you can hear the tiny snores coming from him. you slowly removed yourself from his side. it took awhile to pry his hands clutching your top before replacing it with a pillow. you kiss him in the forehead and it's finally to face him.

you're beneath him. his head hung low while he stares deeply at your eyes. both of your hands are pinned beside you. he glances at your bedside table. littered with pictures of you and satoshi. it makes his heart bleed to see him absent from all of it. he wasn't even there to see satoshi as a baby, taking his first step and see him grow to what he is now. it's all because you choose to leave him.

“you raised satoshi well.”

“i did. i'm not raising satoshi with you around.”

gojo hums, “oh, really? he didn't ask who might be his father is?” quite curious about it and he knows what you're about to answer and you didn't disappoint.

“i did. told his father was dead because you don't exist to us. to satoshi. why bother with us who don't want you?” you bravely stared back at his eyes and you thought this is going to be satoshi when he grows up to be satoru's age.

“i am bothered with it. my wife leaving me out of the blue with my child inside you. i told you, didn't i? i will always find you.”

you take a deep breath to keep the tears from spilling out of you. “five years. five years, satoru. you should have moved on. find another woman who can give what you want.”

“they can't if they are not you. why would I want myself another one when i know my wife and child are alive. how could you be so cruel to me, (y/n). you're my one and only.” gojo holds your cheek in his one hand while his eyes roam to your face and then landing in your lips.

he's been dying to kiss you for a long time and he can do it again. it feels like the first time he had kissed you. soft. gentle and sweet. it hurt him a bit to see you bite your lips with your eyes closed but he didn't care. he knows this was also the same way you reacted when you both created satoshi.

a familiar warmth creep up on him. his once cold heart melting at the contact of your lips against his. heart thrumming in slow beats. shallow breaths fans your skin and he gazes at you, with the same adoration present in the blues of his eyes.

“leave, satoru.” you protested but gojo ignores it. “no, i won't. you're stuck with me.” you cry softly when he kisses you again. hands wandering all over your body and whispering filth of how he missed your body.

“satoshi's sleeping next room.” he shushes you. “i know, that's why we have to keep quiet. you sure can manage that, mochi?” he didn't change with his nicknames and you were left weak and hopeless against his touches.

that night he ravaged you. marking the expanse of your skin. praising how you were still his wife and you never changed. the plushness of your body and just everything about you. motherhood is kind to you. he says. your body is made for him, nurturing his child and you freeze when he talks about putting one on you again. saying that he will give the next his all love with you present and you will both take care of satoshi and his sibling. you were terrified. tasting freedom once and he's back on you again to take it. escaping will be harder and you don't think it'll allow you with again.

in a blink of an eye, you were in your own prison again. you find yourself staring at the familiar garden and you think five years will change it. he kept it the same as the last when you left with promises that you will both be watching as your children played.

satoshi's hair had gone to its natural color. he's the spitting image of his father much to his delight but his child remained wary of him. even he's staring at the older image of him. he remained by your side.

“will i have a baby brother, mama?” he asks you while you were resting. “i don't know, satoshi. do you want a baby brother?” caressing your swollen belly and you fought the tears. satoshi noticing the tears pooling in your eyes, instantly expresses his concern. “no...no. mama is just a bit tired, satoshi. don't you worry about it, okay?” you assure him. “is it the baby?” you nodded at his question. he pouts at your answer. “then i don't want a baby brother.... or a sister!” he exclaims before jumping to hug you.

“satoshi, don't be mean to your baby brother or sister.” your husband pulls satoshi from you. “i hate who makes mama cry.” gojo chuckles at him. “me too, satoshi. let's protect your mama, shall we?” he embraces your son. satoshi nods, and you die a little inside.

you will spend the next years playing house with him with a new addition to this family. you still can't accept this. his words haunts you and you just can't.

gojo caresses your belly. looking at you with a smile on his face. “can't wait for this little one to arrive.” he says to you and you crack a smile at him. the thought of escape no longer lingers in your mind. not that you can think when you have a child with him and one coming.

NANAMI KENTO

nanami didn't take you leaving him to be so distressing. his life revolving around you and a baby on the way. it's going to be complete. a life with you and it took one night for you to leave him without a trace and so he goes back to working overtime.

the first days were grueling. searching for everywhere. going as far in finding information with your relatives who had given up on finding you. there's no sign of you. he spent the days and night thinking about you. worried about how you're doing without him. what about the baby? if the baby was to survive and reach the age of consciousness will his child think of him? the thoughts are endless and he don't think he can live another day without you.

the fluorescent lights are too bright for his eyes that has been drowned by the darkness of his room. his headaches becoming unbearable as the minute passes by and the stench of the hospital adding to his already dulled senses. cheeks hollowed with his sunken eyes. dragging his step to move forward. he shouldn't be here but if he wants to continue his job, a prescription would be nice from a professional.

after a scolding from the older doctor, balding with a pot belly. yapping about his health while he wrote his prescription. consisting of vitamins and stuff he didn't bother to read cause he will only give it to the pharmacist and continue his own source of living.

he was nearing the exit when a particular sign caught his sight. pediatric & maternity ward. he stops for a moment. wondering if you were here and he's accompanying you to get the first check up of your pregnancy and then an appointment for your ultrasound. hear the first heartbeat of his child and know the due date of you giving birth.

it's almost a year since you left him and he was to blame. nanami knows it was wrong to keep you for himself. telling that the outside world is dangerous for someone like you and he's facing the consequences of hurting you.

you must have given birth at this day and the baby must be four-months old. his heart grows heavy the more he thinks of you and his child. he began to walk away, the ward giving him pain and the regrets showing up. before he could step outside the doors from the ward opens and he hears a voice that he misses dearly.

when he turned around, he had to rubbed his eyes to ensure his vision wasn't playing him. there you stood, a nurse assisting you and talking on what he can assume as good wishes to you.

his breath hitches and when the nurse bid you farewell before going back to her duties. you smile back at the nurse and your attention is back in your baby. adjusting the blanket to provide warmth for the infant and when you were contented from it, you raised you head to look at your way. beginning to walk and you notice him.

you stopped when you recognize him. out of all the places to meet him, a hospital it is. worst is — you have your baby with you. hesitating to move forward or turn around and look for a another exit but it's him. it's nanami. you couldn't forget him and his ways of making you feel trapped.

what feels like an eternity and standing like a statue you continued to walk. abandoning the fear of being under him again. you could just ignore him and go home and so you did.

it hurts so much to let you go and he didn't have the strength to confront you. knowing that you'll run again and he don't want to scare you and make things worst. it pains him and yet, he was at peace. a heavy weight being lifted from his chest and he thinks he can breath properly again.

it took him awhile to get back in his daily routine when you were still around. he'd gotten better. there's no longer the dark lines under his eyes and he seems productive nowadays. he knows you won't take him back and he can't do that again to you. he won't give you a reason to loathe him again — not when his child is present in both of your lives.

he got your address effortlessly and now, he's standing in front of your door. holding a bouquet of flowers and he's adjusting his tie before knocking in your front door. he hears the shuffle of feet and the lock clicking. revealing yourself in front of him.

in a span of a year, you slowly managed to get back on your feet. body aching while you wash yourself clean and heal the wounds you inflicted in yourself while you were in his captivity. you needed to change — if you were going to bring this baby in the world. a brand new start for yourself.

when you met him that day at the hospital with his child cradled in your arms. it won't be too long for him to get you back and you feared for the safety of your child. you know nanami isn't that heartless but considering how could he be selfish at times — you knew what fate would await for your daughter.

not until he came knocking at your door. you weren't prepared for it and you did what only you can do — shut the door. it didn't happen, his arm blocking the door. “please, darling. let me explain.” he pleaded and it kinds of break your heart to hear him pleading but you're too hurt to give in. “leave us alone, kento.” you say to him but he's persistent.

he won't be leaving anytime soon, you think and maybe he'll force his way and escalate into something that can harm you or your child and you give in. you pull the door open and nanami sighs in relief when you opened the door for him.

“what do you want?” you bite your tongue when you said it. he didn't need to answer, you know what he wants.

“can we talk?” although he's a little worried about how you will react about it considering his past mistakes and he knows you're not going to open up at him anytime soon.

he didn't missed the change in your attitude. what hostility forming into you change into something of a hesitation. chewing into your lips as you decide whether you were ready to talk to him until you nodded. granting him to explain what he was about to say to you.

“come inside.” you softly mutter as you turned your back around him.

the full force of his regrets came crashing down at him from how the way you treat him. a reflection of how he badly treated you from shielding you against the world when it was him who was truly hurting you.

“so...” you started to speak at him. “what brings you here?” why are you this!? you thought to yourself. screaming internally at the the questions you were asking to him. how come you are this weak when it comes to this. you needed to be strong. prepare for the worst.

“you. i came here for you and for the baby. forgive me, darling but is the baby mine?”

you flinch when he questioned your baby's parentage and the bottled up feelings you were suppressing instantly bursting into the scene.

“is the baby yours?...” your words drawl out. “is the baby yours!? i didn't know that you could be this stupid, kento?! you kept me chained for years and knocked me up with your baby and you question me about her! how could you....?” so much for suppressing the feelings you couldn't say to him for a long time.

a wave of regret washes over him and you were right. he is stupid. you were crying because of him again. you were shaking like a leaf while tears continuously flowing out from your eyes. your sobs are muffled and tears are soaking his shirt. his chin resting in the top of your head while he held you close. he wishes he could take your pain. redeem himself from his old ways of treating you bad.

“you come here telling me you want me back and you want to be a part of her life.....” days. nights. you were thinking of him despite what he had done to you. “i told you, i didn't want her. didn't want a child for me to raise... cried myself to sleep every night after escaping you.” it was true. how you feel your baby growing inside you every seconds of your life, it terrified you. thinking how can you raise the baby.

kento's eyes softened. he didn't know it would hurt so much like he felt when you left him. you were getting the brunt of it more than he did. he thinks back from the days of how he treated you and the whole duration of your pregnancy and you giving birth alone. you must been so scared and alone.

all of that, the words of what you said sinking deeper in his skin. remorse and regret is evident in his face while he held you.

“i didn't know.” he whisper, his voice above a breath. “i didn't know you felt that way, darling.” the endearment of what he used to call you and calling you again with it again cause more tears to spring in your eyes. oh, how you love and hate him at the same time.

“i didn't know i could hurt you this bad, i—i was only thinking that if i have you back, everything will be fine. i didn't realize i was hurting you this much.”

he slowly moves away from you. reaching tentatively to hold your hands and his heart breaks to see the face he loves so much to be this hurt. “i want to make things right, darling.” there's a slight tremor in his voice. “i know i can't undo what i had done to you, but please, let me be here for you, for our child.” he holds your hands gently. “i'll do whatever to earn your forgiveness.” you were taken aback from all of it but deep down you could never trust him or forgive him. you didn't respond and you can only shake your head not until you hear crying in the nursery room where your baby sleeps.

“if you want to be better, leave us.” you began to walk away and as much nanami wants to snatch you again, you stop in your tracks. “and maybe, i'll let you back to us.”

“for now.” you added.

he kept true to his words. it's hard but it can never compare of what you had been through and he respects the boundary you were setting. he sent you flowers during the time he wasn't around and it was not enough, he needed to see you and when he did, he was granted to see his daughter, hold her in his arms.

the baby looks like you except for the blonde hair and it was just like he dreamt. a family with you. she's perfect. perfect as her mother who graced him with her presence and this baby, he will protect this child with you.

he finds you crying. masking it as dust getting in your eyes but nanami knows you like the back of his hand. after tucking his daughter back to her crib, he joins you. sitting beside you and it broke his heart a million pieces knowing you were still in the process of forgiving him.

he's a father now but he is still your husband. “i'm so sorry, darling.” he whispers, holding your hand in his. pulling you closer to rest your head in his shoulder but nanami had longed to kiss you again.

he cups your face in his hands. caressing your round cheeks and despite wanting to recoil from his touch and avoid his gaze, some part of you wants to be held like this and you can't lie to yourself that you missed him despite everything. tough love it was or is it there still love in that?

“let me make it up you.” you shaked your head. closing your eyes and a tear escaped from the corner of your eye. nanami frowns. sighing before pressing his forehead into yours for a moment before pulling away to kiss your forehead.

this is nothing, he will endure it for a very long time until he can be yours again.

TOJI FUSHIGURO

he call it a happy accident. toji happens to beat that self-proclaimed sorcerer piece of shit and now, that shit is meeting his creator. he pays the body no mind when that leather wallet of this weakling drops beside his body. well, it's not the body is only cold. he expects to find some cold, hard cash there and he gets more than that. a picture of his wife and toji clicks his tongue. kicking the son of a bitch's body. annoyed that his wife is playing house with a another man that didn't even manage to put a scratch on him.

an idea appeared in his mind and toji smirks. he could pay this wife of his a visit. you would be so happy to meet him.

he came knocking at your door and the look you expressed is the best you can ever muster in a true horror of him finding you, it didn't disappoint.

“hey there wife. remember me?” he said in the most cocky voice he can muster and look at you, you're almost shaking in your boots but toji is surprised as you are when you were holding a toddler in your arms. a dead ringer of him. round, emerald eyes with the same eyelashes and face as his. clutching your blouse with a pacifier in his mouth.

his sight narrows to his son and to you. his once surprised face being replaced with a bored look and you couldn't even bring yourself to close the door. you don't know what he's thinking and so he got you when you're weak.

“you birthed a brat and it's mine?” it's not a question really when he comes doing this. his hard body pressed against your soft one. trapped in the cold table where you prepare him tea. insisting that he's a guest in your house and you must be a good host to serve him.

toji sighs, a low grunt coming from him. “you could be so mean if you want to. hiding my child and you come playing house with a man you replaced me with.” your blood runs cold with every words he said and the hands wandering all over your body until it came creeping below your blouse and his rough hands are squeezing the flesh of your stomach. you closed your eyes shut.

“he's a good man. which you will never be and you killed him.” your lungs contracts before releasing a breath that will took you days, months or for years to tell him that and you said it in one breath.

his eyebrows twitch. a look of disdain dawning in his face. just because you tasted freedom and you're acting like a goddamn independent bitch. you deserved to be punished.

the tea's now forgotten cold. you're pinned in the counter top with toji's cupping your jaw in a deathly grip. the skin of your wrist turning into a another shade. the circulation cut off and it begins to numb.

“who said about me being good man? he's a weakling who can't even protect himself and that weakling lead me to you and you're his what? his bitch? a body to warm his bed? when you should be doing it to mine!? you're one ungrateful bitch.” toji chuckles and he smirks triumphantly.

“my kindness needs to be paid, princess.” and here he goes calling you with the spiteful nickname to you.

he didn't give you the time to reply and forcefully kissed you. you almost choked at his whole body weight crushing your own. you couldn't even move your face to the side and reject that kiss of him. you didn't need him and your mind froze thinking of megumi.

you don't want him to see you in this position with his father. you kissed back, giving him what he wants so you can tell him. resistance is futile with megumi present in your life now.

toji grunts. you can feel him smile against your lips and when he breaks the kiss. you stare at him with your eyes pleading. “megumi.” and toji got the message of what you're talking. he glances at the door of the kitchen and he can the tiny shadow of his son walking, although a little wobbly and using the walls to balance himself. he scoffs at his son, ruining his reunion with his mother and toji is quite annoyed by it but it didn't stop him from feeling proud of birthing his son.

toji lets you free and your knees wobbled, giving out on you and you were left kneeling at the cold floor. megumi spotted you and in his own steps made his way to you in which you hugged him tightly.

“you ain't going to introduce him to his old man, wife?” you pursed your lips at his question and ignored him. rubbing megumi's back and shutting his father out and it ticked toji to just take his son away from you but resisted the urge to do so. knowing he can use this to keep you to him again. you would be so obedient with a little threat.

“careful now. you don't want me taking our little megumi away from you.” he warns. “now, put megumi to sleep and we can continue this little reunion of ours.” you nodded and you immediately scamper away from him and you see the front door. you can run but he'll catch you. you accepted your fate now and you would take the brunt of his punishments cause you're a disobedient wide who didn't care about your husband's desire.

it would be a waste to chain you again. toji thought. you're a mother now and he got a son with you. he don't want any interfering from how you will raise his son. he couldn't think about anything and maybe after you put megumi to sleep. he could think the ways he could keep you by his side again. for now, he'll just be a little patient and he can have you again for himself again.

GETO SUGURU

it was a mix of being ashamed and scared.

you knew this day will come when suguru and his child will reunite once again. the last he seen you was a baby bump visible in your dress in which he was happy. it did take root. a new lineage for the age of sorcerers.

dusk beginning to settle in the skies and you were supposed to fetch your son in the front yard telling that supper is ready and to your surprise. you found suguru standing tall, head low to face your son. a smile plastered in his face the whole time talking to your son and then he notices your stiff figure standing in the pavement before slowly walking towards them.

“i am your father. did your mommy told you that?” he asks and your son is processing what the words could mean. taking a glance between you and to his father. waiting for an answer in which you remained silent and only to tell him to go inside and wait for you.

suguru smiles. the smile that you hadn't seen for years and you can't deny that it still have an effect on you. “missed me, (y/n)?” the curse user spoke to you. his black and long hair swaying in the rhythm of the gentle breeze blowing.

“not really.” you honestly said to him and suguru's eyes changes into something dark from how you responded. “guess you got tired of all that luxury or everything's not enough for you.” he tuts. following the changes that is present in your face but he only received a curt shake of your head.

how shallow is that. you were like a pet to him. something he owned. a possession. he didn't like you being you and so you were lavished with expensive stuff that would keep you chained from the compound and to his little family. family. one you never had and never truly belonged in his place however you laid with him every night and the result, your son. living and breathing.

once you found out you were with child. it was a realization that you were never free and it hit you that this child will suffer the same fate as you and so you walked out. never looking back with the sole intention that you will raise this child with a perspective of the world and not to be influenced. his own and so you lived for years in peace until he showed up.

a shiver went down your spine from the contact of his fingers tracing to your soft jawline. electric and shocking. with a touch you will obey him but it's different. you're a mother now and something so good will only bring you to your own demise and it will extend to your child.

it is but you missed him touching you. a slave for his affections and you weren't really different from your past self. mustering the courage is the same as surrending yourself from the man who you treated as your world.

closing your eyes and you raised your head to meet suguru's eyes. purple it is. “you would understand why i left you, suguru. i can't raise ryū in that place.”

“and you think excluding me from ryū's life will change it?” not breaking eye contact while he caress your round cheek.

“yes. you're mad suguru and i can't change that.”

suguru chuckles. how motherhood impacted your ways of thinking. finding it so endearing to see you standing up and you wouldn't believe it that he's much more in love with your or whatever he was feeling. he knows it's bad for him and to you. “look at that, motherhood did you good. mad? i'll show what's mad, my dear wife.” he leans to whisper something to your ear. “i will let this go once and then prepare yourself. you will be back to me and with ryū, there's no chance of turning your back away from me.” he softly threatens to you and it weighs heavier. a contrast of the mellow tone of voice he was using.

“see you soon, (y/n).” kissing your cheeks before waving a hand to say goodbye to your son who was staring behind the windows.

suguru left after that and you knew what's about to come and you wished none of that will happen but suguru was always true to his words and you abandoned hope.

he will come back.

[writer-by-the-sea]

Highly requested, a Sleep Aid with Elliott from Stardew Valley. Listen, and relax, and drift off to sleep as he tells you a bedtime story, writes with his feather quill, and (awkwardly/randomly) sings softly to you.

Please note, there are two versions of this upload, the first with his quill and the second without. The version with is myself writing with a glass pen, but you can hear noise in the background that I personally don't like.

Also, if you would like to send me a little gift, you can do so here (Amazon).

Script below if needed.

Enjoy, and sleep well!

Ah, I’m sorry, did I wake you? 

I had an idea for my next novel and wanted to get started. 

However, I can come back to bed– 

No? Are you sure, darling? 

I don’t want to keep you up. 

Oh, you were already having trouble sleeping? 

I’m sorry, my love. I wish I could help. 

My quill is soothing? That’s very cute. 

Would it help if I were to count sheep for you? 

1 sheep 

2 sheep

3 sheep– 

Haha oh you, don’t give me that look! Haha do you have any other ideas? 

Hm.. 

A bedtime story? 

Sure, darling. Anything to help. 

Let’s see.. 

The story begins on a beach, in the middle of nowhere, with very few around to enjoy it. 

Far away from the hustle and bustle of the city, where the only sound you hear are the waves as they push and pull away from the sand, and the occasional seagull cawing in the distance. 

On this beach lived a man, alone in the world and terrified of starting life over. 

You see, he was born and raised in the city; accustomed to never seeing the stars at night, always on guard for what may lurk in the shadows, never having his own privacy even in his tiny apartment. 

He fled from his childhood home at a young age, never looking back, and never speaking to his family again. However, his dreams of becoming a writer were quickly squashed by the constant noise that surrounded him. That and the absurd cost of rent. 

And thus, he moved to the beach with nothing but a suitcase, a heart full of dreams for the future,.. and a severe case of writer’s block.

While he worried that this was a mistake, that he had wasted his tiny bit of savings for a tiny shack on the beach– as soon as he arrived, he knew this was the right decision. 

Perhaps he would never accomplish his dreams of writing a bestseller; but being here on the beach, with new neighbors, new friends, and new.. Love…

He finally felt he was home. 

It’s such a funny thing, in all of his years, he had no idea what home truly felt like. This warmth that wraps itself around your chest, squeezing you every day as a reminder that you’ve finally found the one place where you belong. 

Hah I feel the story is quite obviously about myself….

I was only living here a year or so before you arrived. Filled with similar dreams as my own, to get away from the city and start your life anew. 

Honestly, I think I fell in love with you the moment I first saw you. 

And while I was perfectly happy to spend the rest of my days as a bachelor living on the beach; I never, in my entire life, felt this way about another person. 

I don’t think I could live a single day without you in my life, otherwise I may perish. 

I look forward to waking up with you beside me every morning, your eyes heavy with sleep and filled with sand, your face buried into your pillow as if you were attempting to plant your own head into the cool silk, your yawn as you finally wake and smile back at me.. 

Yoba, I must be the luckiest man alive to have you. I love you. 

As tempting as it is to kiss your cheek, it seems that you have finally fallen asleep. 

Goodnight, my love. 

…

……..

…………

Would it be unreasonable for two strangers to fall in love in a single day? 

….

Well, I fell for you in the span of 3 whole seconds; so I don’t see why not. 

[coraniaid]

Reverse Unpopular Opinion: Season Four of BtVS

[Reverse unpopular opinion meme.]

I’ve been (very, very slowly) rewatching Season 4 on and off all year (and occasionally writing Tumblr posts complaining about this very process about the episodes I’ve been watching), and I think it’s fair to say that this is definitely not the best way to enjoy any season of television.  

That being said, I feel I’d be lying at this point if I pretended this was my absolute favorite season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  In hindsight, the show was in a strange transitory place this year: having lost some of the grounding framework that the high school setting gave the first three seasons of the show – as well as having suddenly lost some of its actors and writers to the new Angel spin-off – and not yet having quite figured out what it was going to do instead.  One can imagine some alternate reality where the show ended up taking a very different direction after this season.

That being said, here are five things I like a lot about Season 4, with as few caveats as I can manage:

I think the opening four episodes of this season – The Freshman, Living Conditions, The Harsh Light Of Day, Fear Itself – are as strong as, if not stronger than, the first four episodes of any other season of the show.  Every other season has at least one dodgy episode in this opening block – in fact Season 3, my favorite season of them all, manages to have two of them! – but where is the bad episode here?  The Freshman is a criminally underrated season opener.  Living Conditions is a fun character episode and a great showcase for SMG to act in ways she doesn’t normally get to on this show.  Fear Itself is the best Halloween episode the show ever did and it’s not even especially close.  The Harsh Light Of Day is my least favorite of the four, for reasons I guess it would be against the spirit of the game to go into, but I certainly wouldn’t say it was a bad episode by any means.  Perhaps none of these episodes would trouble my personal top ten, but they are four very solid episodes nonetheless.

While Anya had of course appeared in a handful of Season 3 episodes, I think Season 4 is the point where Emma Caulfield really makes the role her own.  This season’s version of the character – a blunt-speaking outsider whose romantic struggles are often deliberately contrasted with Buffy’s own [in the aforementioned The Harsh Light Of Day, for example] and who is inexplicably attracted to Xander Harris – could easily have come across as a fairly lazy attempt to replace Cordelia Chase, and I think it’s largely to Caulfield’s credit that she doesn’t.  Anya feels very much like her own person this season, and an increasingly integral member of the group.  It’s a performance that retroactively redefines the character: of course this is who Anya is.  Of course she always acted this way. It's only when you back and rewatch The Wish or Doppelgangland that you realize she didn't. And I think it’s pretty obvious, for example, that when people [e.g. people like me] go back to write Season 3 fanfiction where Anya features more heavily than in canon they [again, meaning me] invariably end up writing the Season 4 version of the character instead.  Anyanka might have appeared for the first time in Season 3, but Anya belongs to Season 4.

I really like how important to the show Willow has become at this point and how much of this season is all about her.  Just go back and look at the first season, in which Willow is arguably the member of the Core Four the writers cared least about – when she existed mainly to nurse a sad unrequited crush on Xander and to be good with computers when the plot required someone to be – and then compare that to this season, where she is Buffy’s best friend and roommate, unambiguously the second most important Scooby, and the center of a – genuinely pretty groundbreaking for the time – .season long subplot about coming out as a lesbian.  And of course Amber Benson is great as Tara too.  I’ve criticized the character of Oz for being very transparently written just to be Willow’s Nice Supportive Boyfriend and never becoming much more than that, and on paper you could level the same sort of charge at Tara.  And sure, obviously she was written to be Willow’s girlfriend and it’s impossible to seriously pretend otherwise.  But I think Tara manages to become a more rounded character than Oz very quickly. Even in this season, when she doesn’t yet have much connection to the others (she will, later, go on to become a key member of the group and a friend of Buffy's in ways I don’t think Oz was) she feels a little more complex than he did.

Faith is in this season!  I don’t just mean in the two parter This Year’s Girl / Who Are You? either. Of course, both of these episodes are great: the scene in the church in Who Are You? In which Faith (in Buffy’s body) breaks down while fighting Buffy (in Faith’s body), -- screaming repeatedly at her own reflection that she’s “nothing”, “disgusting”, and a "murderous bitch" -- is one of my favorites in the whole show.  But Faith feels like a real presence in the show even in the episodes she’s not actually in herself.  Unlike Kendra or Jenny in previous seasons, or even Cordelia the season, the other characters still talk about her and remember she existed when it’s appropriate that they do so (and in a way that they won’t really do again until … well, until Faith comes back in Season 7’s Dirty Girls).

Finally, Restless is possibly the best episode the show ever did, and certainly one of its most creative.  Willow’s dream sequence in particular is fantastically well done. I think this might be my favorite single act in all of Buffy.  Why this all works for me – apart from the fact that the show now has years of history to fall back on and reference – is that it’s an example of the show being utterly unafraid to play to its strengths.  Characterisation, dream sequences, dialogue, foreshadowing, oddly striking visuals, random moments of comedy … these – rather than tightly written plots or rigorously consistent world-building or anything that requires a working knowledge of world history or how the US military functions or what capitalism actually is – are the show’s strengths.  So Restless embraces all of these elements, and just doesn’t bother with anything else.  And the result is a season finale that – by virtue of not really being a season finale at all, at least according to the usual rules – is not quite like any other season finale the show ever did.  Which is, on reflection, a pretty fitting end to Season 4, a season of the show not quite like any of the others. 

[thewritertiger]

strawberry shortcake au!

i can't believe i'm actually going to bother you with my recurring hyperfixation, but here we go,folks!

world building:

This Pinescone au is based on the 80s Strawberry Shortcake series. but with some modifications that I made to adapt to the au and the characters and at the same time taking elements from the other reboots

In this version, Strawberryland is a quiet, remote small town where the tiny habitants spend all seasons harvesting their fruits and vegetables. At the pace of the series, there will be no villains, but there will only be simple problems in the town that end well in the end. (like the children's series of those times. Take reference from My Little Pony (the first generations), the Moomins, the Smurfs)

All the habitants are smaller than fruits, each one has their own job or house in a shape of a sweet (like a cake house, etc.). and each inhabitant is characterized by its fruit flavor and aroma. what makes them unique and differentiable

Everyone in Strawberryland has a specific skill in cooking. (For example, Wirt specializes in the sweets served in cafes.)

There are other towns depending on the flavor and taste (a vegetable town, another of flour, another of ice cream) but Strawberryland focuses on fruits.

pinescone headcanons:

They both met like it happens in the 80s series, except that Dipper would get lost trying to find the town and Wirt would offer him a hand. (just look at the damn video and imagine wirt and dipper singing this adorably!. don't tell me this is not a big deal)

2. Wirt runs a coffee shop in the village and lives there. It is his home and his coffee shop at the same time.

3. (NOT DECIDED YET) Dipper being a strawberry his sister Mabel is a blueberry. Together they are the Berry twins (Help I don't know what fruit to give Mabel I'm between blueberry, cherry, raspberry or like the canonical sister in the 80s series "Apple Dumplings". I need help with this part). Mabel specializes in cooking with excessive sugar dishes and is also the town's fashion designer.

4. Mabel forces Dipper to wear the clothes she creates for Dipper. Dipper is embarrassed and frustrated to walk around the town like that. Wirt finds it adorable and cute, and is always curious to know what cute clothes Dipper will wear.

5.Wirt loves cooking for Dipper, it's one of his favorite things because he loves every tender expression of joy that the little strawberry puts on when trying his new and improved desserts.

6.Wirt has the personality of a spoiled and affectionate mother. She loves her friends very much (especially Dipper) and will show her affection through actions.

7.Dipper is considered Wirt's favorite customer at the cafeteria. He sometimes helps him taste his new or improved desserts.

8.They both give each other affectionate nicknames, Dipper is "little strawberry" and Wirt is "orange pie"

9. Dipper doesn't know how to cook, every single thing he cooks burns. It's considered weird not to know how to cook or specialize in a recipe in Strawberryland. But Dipper doesn't care, his true talent is writing. He writes diaries and books and works for the town newspaper (the poor thing has a lot of writer block)

10.Wirt tries to suppress the desire to kiss and pinch those chubby, pink cheeks that the strawberry has. He is so adorable that sometimes he can't control himself.

11. They both like each other, Wirt knows his feelings perfectly while Dipper still doesn't admit it. They both didn't declare themselves for fear of ruining their friendship.

12.Wirt writes music and poetry in his freetime, he shares it with Dipper after closing at night. All his poems and music are dedicated to Dipper but he doesn't realize it yet.

13.Dipper is very absent-minded and clumsy lol

that's all you can go now pipipipi

[moldycigarette]

alright so i know this isn’t like my normal posts but a lot of people on this platform struggle with writers block, including me, and i wanted to give some prompts that could help! you don’t have to use these and can adjust them however you’d like, these are just ideas!

—————

Fiction & Creative Writing

1. a character wakes up in a world where everyone communicates through music.

2. a mysterious book appears on your doorstep, but its contents change every time you read it.

3. write about a time traveler who is stuck in the past and can only communicate through dreams.

4. a detective who solves crimes using supernatural powers realizes they’ve met their match.

5. a ghost is trying to prevent the person who killed them from dying.

6. a famous artist is haunted by a subject they’ve painted who comes to life.

7. your character is the sole survivor of an apocalyptic event, but soon realizes they're not alone.

8. a town where no one is allowed to speak after sunset, and no one knows why.

9. an inventor creates a machine that allows them to experience alternate versions of their life.

10. a person discovers their reflection in the mirror has its own consciousness.

Fantasy

11. a magical library appears only at midnight to those who need it.

12. in a world where dragons are extinct, your character finds a dragon egg.

13. your character inherits a mysterious key with no lock and begins a quest to find out what it opens.

14. write about a warrior who is bound by a curse to protect the very thing they want to destroy.

15. a forest that grows whenever someone tells a lie.

16. your protagonist discovers they are the reincarnation of a legendary hero, but with none of the hero’s abilities.

17. an ancient prophecy foretells that your character will either save the world or destroy it.

18. write about a society where magic is powered by emotions.

19. a kingdom built on clouds is in danger of falling to the earth.

20. a witch casts a spell that backfires, turning her into a child and her familiar into her guardian.

Science Fiction

21. a spaceship is sent to explore a distant planet, but the crew starts aging in reverse.

22. an AI designed to assist humanity begins developing emotions.

23. humanity’s last hope for survival is a space station, but something—or someone—inside it doesn’t want them to survive.

24. a society where everyone’s lifespan is determined at birth by an implanted chip.

25. your character discovers an alien artifact that changes their perception of reality.

26. a scientist creates a device that can predict the future, but only five minutes ahead.

27. the world’s oceans have disappeared, and underwater civilizations are revealed.

28. in the future, people can purchase memories and experiences—but at what cost?

29. a human and a robot must work together to survive on a hostile alien planet.

30. a colony on mars finds an ancient alien structure buried beneath the surface.

Romance

31. two rivals are forced to work together and uncover feelings neither expected.

32. your character accidentally texts a stranger and starts an unexpected relationship.

33. a love story set in a small town where everyone seems to know your character’s secrets.

34. two people from different timelines fall in love through letters that mysteriously appear.

35. your character is engaged but starts to question everything when they meet someone new.

36. write about a romance that blossoms during a road trip across the country.

37. your character returns to their hometown and reconnects with a childhood friend who has changed in unexpected ways.

38. a relationship between a human and a shapeshifter who struggles with their dual identity.

39. a character falls in love with someone from their dreams, only to meet them in real life.

40. your protagonist is a famous actor who falls for someone who has no idea who they are.

Horror

41. a family moves into a house where no one can leave after nightfall.

42. a seemingly ordinary object starts bringing terrible luck to everyone who touches it.

43. a town where no one remembers the year 1999, but your character discovers they lived there during that time.

44. your character is being watched by something in the shadows, but no one else can see it.

45. a child starts drawing pictures of places they’ve never been, but those places exist.

46. a group of friends find an old VHS tape, but every time they watch it, the events change.

47. your character wakes up in a hospital with no memory of how they got there and discovers they’re not alone.

48. a haunting occurs only when your character speaks a specific word they can’t remember saying.

49. write a story about a character who realizes they’ve been dead for years, but no one else knows.

50. a creepy doll your character threw away keeps reappearing in their home.

Historical Fiction

51. write about a soldier who returns home after a war to find their village completely changed.

52. a story set in ancient rome, where a slave and a senator form an unlikely alliance.

53. during the salem witch trials, a character must prove their innocence while hiding a dangerous secret.

54. set your story during the french revolution, with two characters on opposite sides of the conflict.

55. write about a young woman navigating life in the 1920s, struggling between traditional roles and modern aspirations.

56. your character is a spy during WWII, but their mission is compromised.

57. a historical figure falls in love with someone who wasn’t meant to exist in their time.

58. a doctor in the victorian era discovers a breakthrough that could change medicine forever, but at a high cost.

59. write a story set on the titanic, focusing on passengers from third class.

60. a knight and a scholar form an unlikely partnership to solve a mystery in medieval england.

Thriller & Mystery

61. your character receives a letter from a friend they thought had died years ago.

62. a private investigator uncovers a conspiracy that links seemingly unrelated crimes.

63. your protagonist’s sibling goes missing, but as they search, they uncover secrets about their family.

64. a heist goes wrong, and now your character is on the run from both the law and their partners.

65. write about a detective who must solve a crime, but they themselves are the prime suspect.

66. a series of disappearances in a small town are all connected by a single photograph.

67. your character is trapped in a game where their every move is being watched, but the rules are unclear.

68. a journalist uncovers evidence of a crime that happened decades ago, but someone wants to keep it buried.

69. a locked-room mystery where the murder weapon has vanished without a trace.

70. your character witnesses a crime but is unsure whether it was real or imagined.

Dystopian & Post-Apocalyptic

71. after the collapse of society, your character stumbles upon a group that claims they can rebuild the world.

72. in a future society, books are banned, and your character is part of the underground effort to preserve them.

73. your protagonist lives in a world where all forms of art are illegal, and they are secretly a painter.

74. a virus has wiped out most of humanity, and your character is immune—but they’re hiding that fact.

75. the government monitors everyone’s emotions through implants, but your character is beginning to feel something new.

76. in a world where water is the most valuable resource, your character uncovers a hidden freshwater spring.

77. a character is chosen to participate in a deadly competition, but they have no idea why they were selected.

78. the sky has turned permanently red, and no one knows why—but your character is determined to find out.

79. society is divided into castes based on intelligence, and your character is faking their way to the top.

80. in a future where memories can be bought and sold, your character is tasked with recovering a stolen one.

Literary Fiction

81. a character returns to their hometown for the first time in years and must confront their past.

82. your protagonist faces a moral dilemma that could change the course of their life.

83. write about a friendship that slowly unravels over the course of a year.

84. a character grapples with the realization that they are more like their parents than they ever wanted to admit.

85. a story about an ordinary day that takes an extraordinary turn.

86. your protagonist is an artist struggling with creative block, but an unexpected encounter changes everything.

87. a character is given a choice between two life-changing opportunities, but both have major consequences.

88. write about a family gathering where long-held secrets come to the surface.

89. a story about forgiveness, where a character must come to terms with a betrayal from the past.

90. your character navigates life in a big city while feeling completely disconnected from those around them.

Memoir & Personal Reflection

91. write about a time you felt completely out of your comfort zone.

92. describe a moment when you realized you were stronger than you thought.

93. what is a memory that you revisit often, and why does it stay with you?

94. reflect on a relationship that changed your life, for better or worse.

95. write about a place that holds special significance to you and why.

96. describe a moment when you had to make a difficult choice and what you learned from it.

97. write about an event in your childhood that shaped who you are today.

98. reflect on a time when you felt misunderstood and how it impacted you.

99. write about a dream you’ve had that you can’t seem to forget.

100. reflect on a moment of failure and what it taught you about resilience.

Romance x Mystery

1. a couple moves into a new home only to discover love letters hidden in the walls, all addressed to someone who lived there decades ago. they set out to uncover the fate of the mysterious lovers.

2. your character is a private investigator hired to follow someone’s spouse suspected of cheating. along the way, they start falling for the person they’re spying on—but discover something far more dangerous than infidelity.

3. two strangers meet on a train, both running from their pasts. they quickly fall for each other, but one of them is hiding a dangerous secret that could destroy their new connection.

4. a detective is assigned to protect a key witness, who turns out to be their ex. as they work together to solve the case, old feelings resurface, but so do the reasons they broke up.

5. your protagonist receives a love letter from a secret admirer—except it’s from someone they thought had died years ago. the search for answers leads them deeper into a web of lies and hidden passions.

6. a journalist meets a charming stranger while investigating a string of disappearances. as they grow closer, she begins to suspect the person she’s falling for may be involved in the case.

7. two former lovers reunite when a mutual friend goes missing. as they investigate, they discover that not only is their friend in danger, but someone is trying to keep them apart.

8. your character finds an old photograph of a couple at a flea market and becomes obsessed with finding out who they were. along the way, they meet someone who helps them uncover the mystery, sparking a romance.

9. a billionaire hires your character to solve the mystery of a missing family heirloom, and they quickly fall for the billionaire’s aloof but alluring sibling, who may know more about the theft than they’re letting on.

10. your protagonist is a novelist who starts receiving anonymous love letters that mimic the plot of their latest mystery book—except the events in the letters begin happening in real life.

11. two people inherit an old mansion, discovering a series of love letters that reveal a tragic romance tied to a long-unsolved crime. as they investigate, they find themselves falling for each other.

12. a couple's relationship is tested when one of them starts receiving cryptic, romantic messages from an unknown sender. the deeper they dig into the messages, the more dangerous the situation becomes.

13. your character's spouse disappears, leaving behind a single cryptic note and no trace. as they unravel the mystery, they uncover shocking secrets about the person they thought they knew—and question whether they should trust their love.

14. a woman finds a diary in a forgotten room of her partner's house, filled with entries that seem to predict the future—including their blossoming romance and an unsolved murder.

15. two rival art thieves fall in love while hunting for a legendary painting, but as they get closer to the truth, they discover one of them is keeping a dangerous secret.

16. a wedding is interrupted by the arrival of a mysterious stranger who claims to know the groom’s deepest secret. as the bride searches for the truth, she finds herself questioning the person she’s about to marry.

17. your character starts dating someone new, only to realize their new partner is connected to an unsolved crime from years ago. as they grow closer, they must decide whether to confront them or live with the suspicion.

18. a character receives an anonymous invitation to a masquerade ball, where they meet someone they feel an instant connection with. after the night ends, they’re left with only a cryptic clue to the person’s identity—and a growing sense of danger.

19. two amateur detectives fall for each other while solving a case, but the deeper they get into the mystery, the more they realize their pasts are dangerously intertwined.

20. your protagonist's ex goes missing, and as they investigate the disappearance, they begin receiving love letters and cryptic clues that suggest the ex may still be in love with them—or is leading them into a deadly trap.

21. an online dating match leads to a whirlwind romance, but when your protagonist tries to learn more about their new love interest, they realize the person’s entire identity might be a fabrication.

22. a librarian and a mysterious stranger team up to investigate an old family mystery involving forbidden love. as they unravel the clues, they find themselves drawn to each other, despite the growing danger.

23. a woman starts receiving flowers from a secret admirer, but each bouquet contains a puzzle piece that, when put together, reveals a decades-old mystery involving her own family.

24. two people reconnect at a high school reunion, but one of them is hiding their involvement in the disappearance of a mutual friend years ago. as old feelings resurface, so do dark secrets.

25. a detective falls in love with a suspect in a high-profile art theft. as they try to clear the suspect's name, they begin to question whether they’re being manipulated.

26. your character starts dating a brilliant scientist, only to discover that the scientist’s previous partner vanished under mysterious circumstances. the deeper they dig, the more dangerous their relationship becomes.

27. a couple’s honeymoon is interrupted when they find a hidden message in their hotel room, leading them to uncover a mystery involving a missing person.

28. your character falls for a charming stranger while on vacation, only to find out that the stranger is under investigation for a crime they may or may not have committed.

29. a letter from a long-lost love arrives, telling your character to meet them at a specific place. when they arrive, they find a murder scene and a trail of clues leading them to question everything about their past relationship.

30. your protagonist discovers their new partner is being stalked by someone who knows intimate details about their life. together, they must uncover the stalker’s identity before it's too late.

Romance x Science Fiction

1. after a nuclear apocalypse, two survivors meet while scavenging for supplies. they fall for each other, but one holds a secret that could jeopardize their relationship—and their survival.

2. a deadly virus wipes out most of humanity, and your character is immune. when they meet another immune survivor, they struggle between opening their heart and staying emotionally distant for survival’s sake.

3. a comet is heading towards earth, and society collapses in the face of the impending disaster. your protagonist falls in love with someone they meet in a survival bunker, but time is running out.

4. the world is overrun by zombies, and two people from rival survivor groups find themselves trapped together. as they fight to survive, their initial distrust turns into an unexpected romance.

5. an alien invasion destroys civilization, leaving two humans as the last survivors in a city. they rely on each other for survival, but the closer they get, the more they worry about what will happen if one of them doesn’t make it.

6. the sun is dying, and a scientist is working on a solution to save the world. as they work against the clock, they fall for their assistant, who is secretly planning to escape to a hidden underground colony.

7. after the collapse of technology, two people living in a primitive society discover old-world relics that hint at a more advanced way of life. as they journey to find answers, they grow closer, even as danger looms.

8. in a world where oxygen is scarce, two people fall in love while competing for a limited supply of clean air. they must decide whether to share their resources or save themselves at the expense of the other.

9. a solar flare wipes out all electronics, plunging the world into chaos. two strangers meet in the aftermath and fall for each other while trying to build a new life in a world without technology.

10. a giant earthquake destroys most cities, and a woman is trapped in a remote cabin with a stranger. as they rely on each other for survival, they discover a deep emotional connection.

11. a group of survivors hides from relentless storms that have devastated the earth. two people find solace in each other while living in an underground bunker, but when they run out of supplies, their bond is tested.

12. the earth is slowly freezing over and two people stranded in an arctic research station fall in love. they must choose whether to stay together in their isolated world or attempt the dangerous journey to warmer lands.

13. in a dystopian future where water is scarce, a water hunter and a desert nomad fall in love while on a dangerous quest to find the last freshwater source. their romance grows even as they realize they may not both survive the journey.

14. a plague wipes out most of the population, and two survivors from different backgrounds must navigate the ruins of civilization. as they work together to stay alive, they find love in the most unexpected circumstances.

15. humanity flees earth to live in space stations, and your character is separated from their partner. as they try to reunite, they must survive the dangers of space travel and the political intrigue aboard the stations.

16. the world is invaded by hostile robots, and two people from opposing resistance factions are forced to work together. they fall for each other despite the growing tension between their groups.

17. a mysterious fog covers the earth and people begin disappearing. two survivors fall in love while trying to unravel the mystery of the fog, knowing they could be taken at any moment.

18. a solar flare has caused mass blindness, and two sighted survivors meet while helping guide the blind to safety. as they fall in love, they must decide whether to reveal the truth about their abilities.

19. the seas have risen, and the last remnants of humanity live on floating cities. two engineers from rival factions fall in love while working on a project that could determine the future of their people.

20. after the apocalypse, a group of survivors rebuilds a small community, but food is running low. two members of the group fall in love, but their relationship is put to the test when one of them is chosen to leave on a dangerous supply mission.

21. a solar storm wipes out communication satellites, and a long-distance couple is separated. as the world descends into chaos, they struggle to reunite, facing dangers and new relationships along the way.

22. a mysterious virus kills anyone over the age of 30, and two young survivors fall in love in a world ruled by teenagers. as they grow older, they must come to terms with their inevitable fate.

23. after a global blackout, two people living in a fully automated city must learn how to survive without modern conveniences. their romance blossoms as they work together to find food, water, and a sense of purpose in the ruins.

24. a volcanic eruption covers the earth in ash, and a scientist and a firefighter trapped in a rescue bunker fall in love. as they wait for the skies to clear, they must decide whether to stay together or return to their previous lives.

25. in a world where the air is toxic, two survivors live in protective suits, communicating only through radios. as they fall in love without ever seeing each other’s faces, they must decide whether to risk exposure for a chance at real connection.

26. the oceans have dried up, and a sailor and a scientist searching for answers fall in love in a world of endless deserts. as they race to find a solution, they must confront the possibility that it may be too late.

27. a supervolcano has erupted, and two people living in different cities are connected through a ham radio. as they fall for each other over the airwaves, they must decide whether to risk their lives to meet in person.

28. a worldwide famine has left food scarce, and two strangers form a bond while scavenging in the wilderness. their romance blooms, but they must decide whether to keep their relationship or join larger, more dangerous groups for survival.

29. the stars begin to disappear, and two astronomers fall in love while trying to solve the mystery. as the universe itself seems to collapse, their relationship becomes their only anchor.

30. in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, two bounty hunters are after the same target. as they compete—and eventually team up—they fall for each other, even as their dangerous line of work threatens to tear them apart.

—————

i hope these helped! if you have specific genre suggestions just let me know in my inbox and i can give ideas!!

likes, comments, reposts, and submissions to my inbox are always appreciated.

☻ jude

[infinity-or-oblivion]

so my loa batkids au has gained a little traction and i’ve hit a bit of a wall when it comes to writing new stuff so here’s an infodump to hopefully kill my writers block xoxoxo

first of all, jason. my forever number one blorbo. there’s a bit of a role reversal here because compared to all the rest of them, jason arguably had it the easiest. like we’re not going to compare traumas but an argument could be made. i honestly don’t remember if i mentioned it at all in the actual series yet, but the story i have for jason is that his childhood with willis and catherine was about the same as canon/commonly accepted fanon, meaning he was homeless around nine years old. however, instead of living on the streets for years, it was only a few months tops before meeting bruce.

and bruce! this is very fun to me, but basically i was thinking that if he didn’t raise dick, then why couldn’t this version of bruce be younger? so bruce becomes batman in his early twenties, which is also around the time that he visits the league of assassins for training and damian is conceived. (for a little more about that, here) and bruce is roughly 25 when he finds a tiny 9-10 year old jason trying to steal his tires. just imagine that it’s so fucking adorable and heartbreaking ANYWAYS bruce, despite being overall a disaster, doesn’t let a malnourished 10 year old out to fight crime right away, so there’s a couple years between when jason first meets bruce and when he becomes a child soldier yayyyy!!!! but legit, it makes a lot of difference to jason, because you know how canon!jason has some self-esteem issues (for lack of a better term) around bruce not really loving him/seeing him as a son because bruce started training him as robin (and as dick’s replacement) immediately after adopting him- you know that whole thing? yeah well here, despite jason actually offering to help bruce as a vigilante, this bruce is like hell nah you’re literally ten years old and the size of a six year old no way, and those few years in between really stick in jason’s mind as solid proof that bruce really does love him, not for what use he can provide, but simply as a son. also being the only child definitely helps with that

(that little detail of jason and bruce’s relationship is slightly inspired by minimum height requirement, which is absolute batfam gold btw)

okay so. slight pet peeve of mine is in aus where dick isn’t the first robin, the legacy is still called robin for whatever reason (lookin at you reverse robins aus) because!!!!! how dare you erase mary and john grayson’s importance!!!!! (look there’s more nuance to it than that i know but. to put it simply it feels like flying graysons erasure to me) so in this au, jason can’t possibly be called robin. the real robin has been missing for roughly seven years at this point

and listen. i tried to be creative and come up with something cool and original for jason’s vigilante name i really did, but apparently i used all of my naming talent on nighthawk (fucking love that name for dick it’s so fantastic) so we just have bluejay. womp womp

also! on my list of things to expand on: main timeline stephanie!!! i’ve had an absolute blast making myself cry while writing every heart sings a song, incomplete and those who wish to sing always find a song, but spoiler steph will always be my babygirl. and duke!!!! i have not written barely anything for duke in this universe but believe me i have some Thoughts. perhaps even Ideas. basically a lot of steph&duke and steph&babs and steph&duke&babs because i love my little underrated trio

also just more babs in general, because like. i’ve had so many tiny little snippets of cass and babs and their sweet little relationship just sitting in my notes for literal years now that i really just need to organize and expand into their own fic. and yet. i have not done that. but rest assured cass&babs are very very important to me

such is the curse of female fanfic writers: always destined to fixate more on the male poor little meow meows than the female bad bitches. seriously what the fuck is up with that guys i don’t get it why does this happen

[jumpywhumpywriter]

I don’t know how to start messages at all, so I’ll just get to the point: you’re writing is hecking amazing. I literally only just discovered your blog and I’m already hooked and invested in like 5 different stories. As people say, I want to consume your writing the way a wolf tears apart the innards of its prey (hope that’s not too weird of a compliment; I mean that the writing is very good. I’m not good at expressing extreme amazement and stuff through writing at all and general social awkwardness so sorry if I’m coming off as weird, I don’t mean to).

I have more things to say/ask (like how you write so fast cause the heck? That’s a compliment by the way), but I don’t want to be rude or annoying. Anyways, I hope you’re having a good day/night and are staying hydrated and enjoying some cookies (or whatever your favorite food is) while you do writing stuff (or school or whatever. Idk anything about your life. I’ll stop talking now before I go on another tangent like right now) :)

This is literally one of the sweetest compliments I've EVER gotten! I love the analogy with the wolf tearing out the insides of its prey, that gave me a good laugh and made me smile LOL. It's not weird at all! (At least, not in MY world, because 'weird' is my version of 'normal'. You can't out-weird me haha) and I'm super socially awkward too so I totally understand how you feel!

I absolutely adore the fact that you took the time to send this to me! It really helps motivate me to keep writing! I honestly wouldn't post here very often without comments like yours to keep me going.

On to answering your questions now. This is going to be a long one.

Firstly, I have a terrible relationship with sleep. Sleep hates me. So my solution? Stay up to 3am writing giant novels! Some nights the inspiration hits out of nowhere, and I'll write like a crazy person on their 10th cup of coffee, doing five whole pages in Google Docs. Like I don't know what sleep is anymore LOL. Then I break the large chunk of writing I did up into several smaller sections I can put into separate posts on this app that I can post slowly over time to keep people entertained for a longer time instead of posting everything all at once and running out of content.

For example, I might literally have 13 posts in my drafts section ALL from a single batch of writing I did all at once the night before that took me 5 whole hours to write and edit.

In all honestly I am NOT a fast writer at all. I just happen to be able to write giant sections at a time and then split them up so I can post frequently which gives the ILLUSION that I am fast writer because of how often I post content. But in reality it's just been prepared in advance on my sleepless nights where I power through and complete whole pages at a time. (I'm actually a slower snail when it comes to writing because I try to go for quality not quantity -- I take my time to make stories interesting vs just writing as long as I can)

It's convenient too because some days I don't have the inspiration at all/experience writer's block so I can just post content I made over the previous few nights instead to make up for not writing anything new that day.

I also have ADHD which makes it so I can hyperfocus on writing for several hours at a time without a break. Sometimes I'll get really deep into a story where I just can't put down my phone and stop writing to go to sleep.

Thanks again for your WONDERFUL ask! It made my whole day (or night in this case, ironically because that's what it is right now for me as I'm answering this LOL -- proving my point about no sleep 😅😅)

Keep being awesome my new fan!! 🥰 And hope you enjoy more of my stories!

[the-wip-project]

SloMo WriMo: Confronting Your Fears

There’s a voice in my head. And it’s telling me to stop writing.

It makes me afraid, telling me that my writing is worthless, that there’s no point, that nothing I do matters. That I suck. That I need to check my ego, pretending that I’m any sort of expert in a position to give advice to others. That if I post this then I’ll be opening myself up to attacks by trolls. Why even bother? It says. No one wants to read your ramblings anyway. Why not just keep your ideas in your head? Where it’s safe?

If you’re reading this? It means that once again I’ve beaten the voice back and written anyway.

There’s a lot of names for that voice. Impostor Syndrome, The Critical Voice. The Inner Editor. Writers Block. (Yes, I am including writers block on this list.) The Superconciousness.

And like it or not, we all have a version of it in our heads.

Writers who write often and freely are not magically free of that voice. The only difference is that they (including me— most of the time) have learned how to corral and even shut out that voice.

How? Every writer has a different bag of tricks, but it’s not as simple as using a program that stops you from rewriting, or only writing in sprints. That can be helpful, but treating the symptoms without confronting the problem will eventually lead to failure.

First you have to pay attention to exactly what is that voice in your head whispering to you. (And don’t let it trick you into believing that it’s not like other inner voices, and is actually is helpful, or truthful.)

Everyone’s inner voice is unique, but if you find yourself:

Needing to do just a bit more research before you can start (even though you’ve already accumulated plenty of knowledge on the subject)

Endlessly editing a section (often the opening!) and never moving any further forward

Suddenly bored with a story even though you were excited to write it just a few thousand words ago

Frequently abandoning writing, and having a hard drive full of almost done manuscripts

If you find yourself frequently doing any of those things? Most likely it’s fear stopping you. Fear of what? Again, it’s different for everyone, but here’s some common ones:

What if it’s bad?

What if it’s made fun of?

What if I fail in my vision?

What if I offend someone (reasonably or not) and a twitter mob descends on me with pitchforks and torches?

What if no one wants to read it?

The thing is, on the surface those fears sound very reasonable. If you write something it could be bad, or stupid, or boring, or offensive.

So what should you do in the face of all these risks?

Honestly? There’s really only two options. Quit, or write it anyway.

Me? I’ve decided to face my fears and write anyway. I assume that anyone reading this wants to do that too.

But how?

In the end it comes down to awareness, and permission.

Here’s how it works for me. I get an idea: What if it’s like Leverage, but in SPACE!!!(but in space is a common idea I have lol) I start writing: This is exciting! Writing an ensemble cast is a fun new challenge! And then suddenly I feel like I’ve hit a wall: This sucks. The characters are boring and hackneyed. No one will ever want to read it. How would I even market something like this? Why am I writing this? I should just quit. I have a different idea that’s much better anyway.

Sound familiar?

But ha! It’s familiar to me too. I know those negative thoughts are just the fear voice talking. So I face them: Fears? You might be right. It might be bad. But I’m going to write it anyway.

And I keep repeating that, reminding myself that it’s okay to write something less than perfect, that it’s okay if it’s bad, and that I still want to write this story, until the writing gets fun again. And it does get fun again. For me at least. I’ve had enough practice at this that the fears really only grip me at certain moments. Unfortunately if the fears have a powerful hold on you, you may have to battle them all the way through. Even if that’s the case, every time you beat them, they will get weaker.

And that’s it. It’s three simple steps.

1. Identify your fears, and how they stop you

2. Challenge the negative thoughts, and give yourself permission to write anyway

3. Keep writing

Easy to say, and hard to do! (Of course I’m not a mental health professional, this is simply my experiences. If what you’re dealing with is severe and/or harming you, please seek professional help.)

I'd love to know what you do to confront your fears!

[fontasticcrablettes]

Been really thinking about making a modern Tales crossover AU these past few days, and i’ve got a basic premise in mind, but I’m relatively new to long form writing, and i keep backing out due to the urge of “i’m not writing these characters correctly/they wouldn’t be like this”. Any tips for a newcomer writer to get over that kind of anxiety?

I'm going to try to give you actionable advice beyond the generic "Write anyway, even if it's not living up to your expectations, because writing poorly is the only way to learn how to write well" (even though all of that is true).

Writing is a skill like any other. The more practice you've had, the faster and more effortless it feels. You know how talented and experienced artists can just free hand some fanart and it looks just the character instantly? But a beginner artist will probably have to draw a sketch with guidelines, block things in, and gradually add more detail to get it to look right.

This is the same with writing! When you're just starting out, the dialogue and character actions can be like that rough sketch. Just giving yourself the idea of where things go and how the scene is moving. You can then give it more passes to get it sounding right.

So let's think about your problem. You're worried about, "They wouldn't be like this." But what thought comes next? Anxiety is telling you to follow that with, "so I should give up." But I'm telling you to follow it with another question: "So how would they be?"

Because I think that if you look at your writing and think "They wouldn't act like this," then what that tells me is that you know how they do act. How can you recognize that they're out of character if you have no idea what in-character looks like? This is like Dumbo's magic feather: the power is already inside you!

If you recognize that, for example, the dialogue you wrote for someone doesn't sound right, try to think of a time in canon when they said something similar - a similar level of tension, similar emotional state, similar level of intimacy with whom they're speaking. Now you have example of how they speak and behave in canon. Use that as reference for when they would be sarcastic, what sort of slang they'd use, how formal they'd be, etc.

Writing an AU setting can be a double-edged sword. One one hand. you might be extra anxious because they aren't in their canonical setting so you have less of a frame of reference. But on the other, I think most readers are also more forgiving of characters behaving differently in AUs. They have a different upbringing, after all; it's going to affect them. Concentrate on the second part if you're getting anxious that your AU versions of the characters aren't close enough to canon.

Ultimately, writing a lengthy fic for the first time is a daunting endeavour. A lot of people would be very intimidated to undertake a project like this! Your anxiety is likely scared in general of committing a long and effort-intensive project and looking for excuses to tell you not to even try. After all, if you don't try, you can't fail. Your anxiety is being dumb. You've got a cool project to share, and you're going to learn a lot about writing while working on it (even if some of that learning is subconscious).

Good luck! Write that fic!

[thetragicallynerdy]

WIP weekend

Time to do a WIP weekend!! I got tagged by @zombiethingy, and finally have time to write today (and this whole week really), and need some inspiration, so here we go! Thanks so much for the tag friend!!

In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can’t share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. I’ll be searching the reblogs to find people to send asks to!

My WIPs are:

garlic soup week planning - subtitle "Sunday AND Tuesday – Soulmate AU + First Meetings – soulmates seeing in colour version. Jim/Archie/Olu/Zheng."

garlic soup week planning - subtitle "Wednesday – Fighting | Hurt/Comfort – Jim insomnia fic - WEREWOLF AU PACK PACK PACK"

garlic soup week planning - subtitle "Friday  - Garlic (NSFW) - Group Sex | Exploring a new kink  AND Saturday – Mix up the pairings/dealer’s choice – Jim/Zheng with Olu/Archie watching."

Concussion – unfinished, unposted (OFMD, Jim-centric)

blood part 4 (OFMD)

For "OFMD garlic soup week is in 6 weeks and I want to have at least a few fics done" reasons, three of my WIPs are for that XD (but they're all in one document because i'm terrible, so they get subtitles too)

Tagging, but only if you want to (and if you don't I am handing you an oven-warm cookie instead)! @alfalfairy, @yourlocal-charlatan, @yerbamansa, @redxluna, @petrichorca - and anyone who sees this and wants to do it! (Feels like a long while since I've tagged writer pals, so I can't remember who all of you that like to do this sort of thing are XD)

Snippet below the cut:

from concussion (which is an exploration of long-term concussion & disability through ofmd)

The first miracle happens – a man comes back to life. It’s not the man you hoped it would be, but it’s a joyful occasion nonetheless. Joyful, and fearful, because you don’t know what you’ll do if Blackbeard or Izzy finds out.

It’s Lucius. You stumble back to your cabin early one evening, because if you don’t lie down you might pass out, and Fang insists he’ll cover for you and shoos you away. You slide open the door and find Lucius sprawling on your bed, whispering to Frenchie who sits on the floor darning the pants he’d torn at the knee the day before.

They both freeze, staring at you like a rabbit caught in a snare.

“Jim,” Frenchie says, stumbling over his words, darning set carefully aside as he scrambles to his feet. “I can explain –“

You stumble into the room, closing the door and lurching towards the bed. Lucius sits up, and you can see now that he’s skinny, filthy too, a full beard covering his face. You can’t believe he’s alive. You can’t believe he’s here.

“I need to lie down,” is all you can say, because if you say anything else you’re going to burst into tears, and if you wrap him up in a hug you might shatter apart.

“No, yeah, absolutely,” Lucius stammers out, sitting up. “I can go –“

You don’t wait. You just crawl onto the mattress beside him and lay down, curling onto your side, dragging the pillow from where it lay and shoving it under your head. It hurts to keep your eyes open, so you close them, press your palms overtop for good measure. The warmth of them helps, and the way they block out the light helps even more. “Stay.”

Silence follows, or maybe you just can’t hear the creaking of his weight shifting on the bed or the looks he and Frenchie exchange over the thudding of your pulse in your ears. Slowly, carefully, not touching you at all, Lucius lays back down.

Two fingers touch the back of your hand, feather-light. “Are you alright?”

A lump grows in your throat. You squeeze your eyes shut tighter. “Don’t ask me that.”

“Sorry -” The touch disappears. Before he can move away completely you reach out, fumble for his hand. Grab it, and hold it so tight your hand hurts.

“Stay,” you mumble again.

So Lucius does.

[lostcauses-noregrets]

Don't know if you saw the new argument on the twitter about Erwin not loving Levi and cheating on him in modern AUs but, well, you can headcanon whatever you want, you can write and do whatever you want with these 2 fictional characters but all those dark aus where Erwin just uses and manipulates Levi and doesn't love him actually made some people believe that it's canon. and I know it's silly and childish and petty but I am so tired of all those "look how edgy our ship is" takes on twitter because it mostly damages Erwin's character for me and leads to mischaracterization. I can't even count how many times I saw "Erwin is an asshole who wouldn't think twice before doing [insert something really awful] to Levi and Levi loves him so much he'd let him" AHHHHH

I did see a few tweets about this Anon, though as usual, I didn't see the original tweets that caused the drama in the first place. I can definitely understand your frustration though. I feel it too.

It goes without saying that it's perfectly fine to write characters any way you want. There is nothing wrong with dark AUs and there is no law that says you must adhere to canon. Hell, you don't even have to read or watch the canon if you don't want to. Fanfiction is called transformative work for a reason. The only rule is that there are no rules.

However it can be frustrating when the boundary between fanon and canon starts to blur, particularly if popular fanon characterisation is wildly different from canon and especially if fans start to insist that the fanon version of the character is canon. That kind of thing drives me up the wall.

Erwin is very much a case in point. There's been a bit of a vogue for abusive Erwin fics in recent years and there's a risk that some fans might assume that this is what his canon character is actually like. Which, of course, it very much isn't.

The only thing I can suggest is to keep referring back to canon. The evidence of who Erwin really is all there. If people choose to write versions of his character that you disagree with, just block them and move on. We're lucky that the Eruri fandom is blessed with many talented writers and artists, so my advice would be to find those who stick more closely to canon characterisation, if that's what you prefer.

[fordarkisthesuede]

Heyyy…so, about where I’ve beeeeen… 

I considered doing a silly little poll to have you guess, but... Oh, what the hey! Let's do it!!!

Anyway -

While a lotta y’all had "Brat Summer", I had "Slowly-Being-Consumed-By-Moss" Summer.

And GA summers are real fuckin’ long.

Every year I seem to go through a phase where I decide I’ve had enough of endlessly scrolling through tumblr and feeling bad about not getting things done. Sometimes this is combined with the incredible gloom of coming onto the only social media I partake in and finding nothing but tragic news. Only this time it combined with the very-dreaded Election Season Panic (US version). (Please hold in your derisive laughter.)

Pictured above:  a representation of me, circa…like, April 2024.

I should note the things that I tend to over-use tumblr to avoid aren’t things that have “real” deadlines, but I feel more and more guilty when I don’t do them, or else carve out time to do them. These are usually “replying to messages” and “writing my epic fanfic”, but can even branch out to “making stable diary entries” and the like.

My fellow writers - at least some of you - know what I mean. We clean our living spaces or sort things or bake to avoid writing, because for some reason when we look at the proverbial page our brain nopes out. Sometimes it’s because of the fear we’re not writing well enough for our stuff to actually be liked. Sometimes it’s because we’re veeery stuck with where we’re at and looking at the stupid spot we’re stuck at for the millionth time is exhausting. Sometimes it’s cuz we’re plum outta ideas ‘cause the stars haven’t aligned.

But this past summer was…particularly bad in the writer’s block area. So much so that another fic I was writing from back in February to combat writer’s block with BtTTS: S5 was even getting big ol’ roadblocks! Which is really dumb. It’s mindless self-insert fun for a fandom I’ll probably never write for publicly, yet I’m struggling? WTF.

So most of the summer, I experienced Lethargy. No melancholy, no anger or serious anxiety, no hopelessness or real lack of sleep or feeling over-tired. So not depression, I don’t think, but no real enthusiasm or energy for creative stuff, nor video games for some reason. I went to work, read the news, worked my way through most of a One Piece rewatch, caught up on some manga, and went through a list of movies I had been meaning to see. (Man, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf was wild. You guys see that? De-licious drama. Incredible. I’ll def see it again in like 5 or 10 years.)

I thought about coming back to do a Book of Bill post. I pre-ordered it ages ago. It arrived, I read through it over the span of a few days, I spent time working out most of the puzzles… But I just couldn’t bring up the enthusiasm to do anything for it. It was fun ‘n’ all, but it’s not like a lot of the stuff in there is revolutionary or anything. Besides, by the time I got around to reading the book I already knew all the puzzles were solved and posted online by like day 2 of release or something, because the GF fandom is feral when it comes to puzzles. The Blacklight book was special because of its limited run, and I felt the need to share it so everyone could see. The Bill book you can find in any B&N or e-book store. The thought of typing up anything on it just felt like work.

And THEN…come late July… 

Like ol’ blue eyes lyrics, something came shakin’.

It was like the rubber-band that somehow wound around my brain SNAPPED and went

It wasn't exactly a surprise, yet it was. I've been waiting for like, a decade now. And I finally had means, motive, and opportunity,

It took every single one of my weekends from August to mid-September to find and settle on a place. And then it was every single weekend from then to mid-October to find and store furniture and start packing, all while juggling the UTTER NIGHTMARE that is the mortgage closing process.

Oh, and that hurricane. That certainly didn’t help any. (I'm fine.)

Anywho, that’s why I’ve been hermiting it up. Just been trying to clear my head and get a sense of independence - while I still can -while crafting my own little Ha-Hacienda. And even in light of recent…world-changing events…I’m clinging to my projects with my sharp, sharp nails and my primitive canines, because while the world is clearly always awful I’ve got to enjoy some small slices of life on this absolute bitch of an Earth. Hope I didn’t scare any of ya with my absence. ❤️

P.S. If anyone wants to fill me in on what tumblr-centric and Batman-universe things I missed this past 6 months, the askbox and replies are open. Wrong answers, vague answers, and hieroglyphics accepted, as long as you cite your sources.

[singsweetmelodies]

tagged by lovely @car-bo-hydrate to try this <3333

star sign: virgo

favourite holiday: new year

last meal: a hot mug of tea and some south african buttermilk rusks (comfort food breakfast!!! ❤️☕)

current favourite musician: probably taylor swift, but as always, it's hard to choose just one. OOOH! lately, dove cameron is high up on the list too

last music listened to: confetti (acoustic version) by little mix - LISTEN. ever since ms perrie edwards put out a tease that her solo music is coming soon, i have been on a big little mix high again, listening to all my old favourites and hyping myself up sooooo much for that perrie music drop 👀👀👀😍

last movie watched: my girlfriend and i rewatched shang-chi and the legend of the ten rings again last night for movie night <3 LOVE that movie, omfg. both my gf and i firmly declared all michelle yeoh's scenes our favourites 🤭

last tv show watched: you know, it's actually been really long since i've properly watched a TV show, so the answer to this is probably something silly like reruns of FRIENDS

last book/fic finished: 2 different answers here!! last book was iron flame by rebecca yarros (yes, i caved to all the hype and read it on the plane - yes, there were bits that pissed me off, but i mostly enjoyed it) and last fic was one of AO3 user venerat's landoscar masterpieces, "i'll kiss you first" <3

last book/fic abandoned: hmm... i tried to read this rom-com called "you & me: a mlm single dads romance" while on holiday in SA, and i just... couldn't make it more than 5 chapters in. the cringe (& the VERY american focus of... everything...) was just too much for me, especially because i tried to read this right after a super delightful wlw rom-com recommended to me by darling @duquesademiel. after that, this one just... couldn't compare. at all.

currently reading: well, i'm back to work, so my time for books has unfortunately dropped exponentially... all i'm actively reading rn is a bunch of f1 rpf fics, to be perfectly honest

last thing researched for writing/art/hyperfixation: "WHAT COULD CAUSE A SCANDAL IN THE REGENCY ERA" 🤣🤭

favourite online fandom memory: storytime sundays where we tell those long DM fics with @boxboxbrioche and @welightitup <3333

favourite old fandom you wish would drag you back in/have a resurgence: HMMM! i am mostly over all my old fandoms by now, to be fair, but if i really had to choose one... probably one direction?? because a proper resurgence would mean the reunion, right? (right?) ((so maybe i'm not quite as "over it" as i pretend 🤭))

favourite thing that you enjoyed that never had an active fandom: ohhhh, i can't think of a name immediately now, but it's definitely some or other book series that, if it had a fandom at all, was so tiny that i was practically the only person in it 🥲

tempting project that you're trying to rein in/don't have time for: LISTEN. i have had the most awful writer's block for months, and now that i can finally write again, somewhat, all that i want to write are the things that i should NOT be focusing on rn, because those things don't have deadlines but other things do *charles_wtf discord react*

prime example: about 2838474829 piarles smut WIPs and a/b/o and chussyverse explorations, instead of... my PWFE fic. some belated birthday fics. some celebration fics i promised nearly half a bloody YEAR ago. oops 😭😭 but, we'll get there. we will! just like this will be ferrari's year (i am delulu) xD

no idea who's done this yet and who hasn't, so i'm just going to tag some friends and hope i'm not double-tagging anyone - also, if i miss anyone, please feel free to say i tagged you anyway, because i'd love to see your answers <3 @boxboxbrioche @welightitup @hourcat @teamnick @sedicii @francophones @radiocheck, if any of you feel like giving this a go <3333

[spaceorphan18]

Weekend WiP Game

Thanks @bitbybitwrites for thinking of me <3 This is great, because I've been kind of looking over my projects and where I'm at with them today. So, this is a nice refresher. :)

1. WIP List

Okay, I'm kind of ignoring the MCU ones, because I don't think I'll ever get back to those. My current Glee WiPs...

Head Over Feet

The Spaces In-Between

In the City That We Love

The Smut Challenge

Changed for the Better (Not sure if i'll get back to this but you never know.)

The CrossRhodes Saga (this I do want to go back to)

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

Head Over Feet

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

The Smut Challenge. I mean, there's 365 total chapters, how is that not the longest??

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

I'm really focused on Head Over Feet more than the others at the moment. This is a story that, really, I wanted to write when I got into fandom -- a story about them finding each other again after their break up. I realize there are so many versions of this fic, but it's also a rite of passage I think to do it.

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

Oh god The Smut Challenge. There are only so many ways you can write smut. One reason I stopped is that it was getting redundant.

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

Maybe Spaces In-Between. A complete canon compliant fic is something I always wanted to do - but it's been hard to come up with ideas for Season 1, and it hasn't gotten that much attention. Plus, I really found the first chapter really great - but then it's the only feedback that I got some negativity on, and have been unsure ever since.

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

I'll ask my lovely @snarkyhag for help with Head Over Feet and In The City That We Love -- because they're bigger stories, and room for more mistakes.

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

All of them at some point. I feel like I'm just getting back into it after being out of it for at least six months to almost a year.

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

I don't know that I have any? Not for the wips anyway.

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

I mean, I guess Smut Challenge by default? They're all gonna have smut in it.

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

Head Over Feet is pretty angsty. But if I'm guessing overall, Spaces In Between will end up being more so.

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)? Right now - Head Over Feet, but I think I'm pretty consistent at keeping them all kind of the same.

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

Hmmm, I'm terrible at scene description, so I'll leave that up to you.

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

Right now, Head Over Feet. but I'll end up working pretty hard on all of them. Though Smut Challenge will continue to be a little tongue and cheek if I get back to it.

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

I hope that, overall, you guys end up really enjoying Head Over Feet and In The City That We Love. I'm hoping that once Blaine enters the picture, Spaces In Between will pick up a bit. And I'm hoping that I do get back to the Smut Challenge, because self indulgently, I'd like it to get a ton of hits and make its way up the most read Klaine fic list.

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

No. I think about them enough during the day - my brain has other things to contend with at night lol.

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't? I'd really liked to go back to the CrossRhodes saga once I'm done with a few of the others -- but it's a historical mystery, and that just adds a level of difficulty to it. I also think keeping the smut challenge new and refreshing is the tricky part there.

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

Probably In The City That We Love

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process? Nope. Though, there are a couple of chapters of In The City That We Love that I may branch out a little because the original sketch had a fascinating character study of the full group.

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

Honestly - maybe not necessarily about WIPs, but the fact that we're now so far away from the show ending, sometimes I wonder why I'm still writing. I mean - I'm writing for me and because I enjoy it. But I do wish the audience pool was a little bigger. Though I do appreciate that there still is an audience pool here. Idk, maybe I'll write an Ed/Stede oneshot to sooth my ego or something, lol.

Also, maybe semi-related, I have original fiction that I'd like to really settle down and write some day. I've been working on world building for twenty years, the problem is, who knows if it'd ever get published, or if I had an audience outside my family, which is why I continue to go back to fanfic. :P

[ipsen]

Blank Canvas 17

Read on AO3. Summary: Sen Takatsuki. Words: 5459 Chapter 16 Chapter 18 Master Post

Today started like any other.

Papa left early in the morning, but while she was usually too sleepy to catch him at the door, she didn’t this time. Though it seemed like a normal day, it was actually quite special, and she was determined to make sure he remembered. She latched onto him just as he was about to step through, grinning.

Fortunately, he knew before she even said anything. “Happy birthday, Sen.” He smiled and ruffled her head. “We’ll open your present when I get back, okay?”

She nodded excitedly, relishing the sound of her new name. As an aspiring author, Papa had suggested she get a pseudonym to protect herself, and the kanji— half of ‘hot spring’— was one of her favorites. So much so, he promised to plan a trip when they had enough money.

“Thirteen years old… Time flies.” He gently pulled her off of him. “I’ll see you tonight, then we can open your present. Okay?”

Sen gave a thumbs up. “Okay!”

Once she saw him turn the corner, she gathered her things— a box of pencils, some notebooks, and a patchy backpack— and jogged the handful of blocks down to the library. That was her routine: while Papa was at work, she was going to ‘school’ at the library— otherwise known as hunting for kanji she didn’t understand. Whenever she encountered one, she would make note of it in her notebooks, along with all of its readings and the appropriate strokes.

The librarian— a nice old lady named Erina— was always happy to help Sen identify and define words she couldn’t understand. It was nice having someone besides Papa who didn’t judge her for her, admittedly, odd taste in literature. Even though she did occasionally dip herself into a romance or adventure novel now and then, she always found herself coming back to horror and mystery. The idea of peeling back someone’s facade and seeing what was truly beneath fascinated her.

The book she was reading right now was one of her new favorites: a translated version of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, considered by many to be the original science fiction novel. An arrogant scientist, Frankenstein, believing himself to be equal or even above God, stepping into His domain by creating life— there was something about that premise that Sen found fascinating. Not only that, but the plight of the creature, where it is forced to become what people perceived it as, was just as, if not more, interesting.

Sen was usually a fast reader, but she took her time with this one, reading and rereading chapters until she fully understood what had happened.

In the evening, Papa came to pick her up, her present in hand. “I imagined you would be far too excited to wait until home,” he explained.

And he was right— as soon as he held out the wrapped box, Sen snatched it and tore it open. Printer paper and tape drifted to the floor as she beheld the object beneath.

It was another notebook, just like last year and the year before. Ever since she took an interest in creating her own stories, Papa had taken it upon himself to give her at least one every year; that way, she could fill them front to back with the plenty of ideas bursting from her head.

However, when Sen thumbed through all of the pages at once, they were filled. At first, she thought it might have been Papa’s, but on a closer look, he didn’t write so… formally, nor so neatly.

“It belonged to your mother.” He answered the question writ plain on her face. “She was a writer, like you.”

Sen’s smile threatened to split her cheeks open. “She was?”

He nodded with a smile, but it was his reserved one, which he used whenever he was hiding something. “She was a journalist, and these were her most important findings. It’s very dense, but… she talks about your father starting with the bookmark.”

Her father. The man who was still alive and gave her away to Papa. She didn’t know how to feel about that, but— “If I read this, I’ll understand?”

The conversation about her adoption had been a difficult one, but she still loved Papa, and she knew that sometimes, things didn’t— or rather, they couldn’t— work out.

He nodded. “You will.”

—

Papa could be a bad judge of character sometimes.

Even after she pored over the text from front to back three times a day, she didn’t understand. Not really.

Her mother, under the name Ukina, was a young, if sickly, journalist looking into what Sen would eventually learn was V. Through her findings, she met Papa and, eventually, Sen’s father, Kuzen. It was the greatest mistake they’d ever made.

At first, Ukina’s findings were purely professional. Detailed records, strange coincidences, and the bloody trail of money left in V’s wake. To Sen, who had only a vague understanding of such things, it seemed like a mystery novel starring her family.

As Ukina seemingly spent more time with Kuzen, her emotions, once fully suppressed in favor of her reports, began to crop up like blooming flowers. Not only that, but her findings eventually took a backseat to Kuzen after a fashion.

Then, she was pregnant, and Ukina, while frightened, was rather excited. She was ready for a life with Kuzen, a life with the child.

It never happened.

That was where it should have ended. Sen would have lamented the loss of a mother and a father, destroyed and separated by death, but eventually she would have returned to life with Papa. Eventually, the only normal that she had ever known would take over again.

But the 8th ward happened. Kasuka Mado happened. The Washuu Task Force happened. Her raging, foolish fear happened.

The world happened.

———

Sen stormed up the stairs in her apartment complex, focused only on reaching her destination. Her neighbor— a guy named Rio— raised his hand in an awkward greeting, but she shoved past him and slammed her apartment door behind her.

The impact made the nearest pile of books collapse in a heap at her feet. Rather than pick it up, she just kicked them out of the way, throwing her coat on the floor with it.

What the fuck was that? How was Kuzen so fucking clueless, so fucking self-centered, that he thought he could show up like that? Even if she hadn’t called him out (as he deserved to be and more), what sort of obtuse perception of himself did he have to think, “Yes, I shall go to this gathering, which is held to help distract from Nashiro Yasuhisa, who I effectively killed as the employer of the Torso. I will not tell anyone that I did this, and there is nothing wrong with that. I am so smart and wonderful and my favorite taste is the taste of leather and human ass because I am a bootlicker and a brown-noser. Bon appétit, I say!”

She found another pile of books, completely unorganized, and shoved it over. One of them had the gall to land squarely on her toe, and she yelped.

Curled up against the wall, nursing the wound, she hoped to herself that Kurona had killed Kuzen. That would be a good consolation prize. How old was he, anyway? Eighty? ninety? Either way, he basically had one foot in the grave; a little push would do everyone wonders. Plus, it’d make this whole thing worth it since Haise was never gonna talk to her again.

She grabbed the offending book and flung it at the couch. It slapped against a pillow with an unsatisfying thump. It just made her angrier. More piles toppled over, and she threw books against books against books, bruising the covers and roughing up the pages until the entire room was painted with the ugliness inside her.

Sen’s time in the orphanage was spent obsessing over her mother’s— over Ukina’s notebook.

What Sen initially thought were Ukina’s thoughts shifting from her job to her lover became a bright, but ultimately naive, journalist being misled and preyed on by a man twice her age. The findings after Ukina met Kuzen were shallow at best, like a pinprick on your thumb, and anything worse was a dead end. Kuzen was slowly encroaching on her work like a parasite, throwing the veil over her eyes and making her believe she could still see.

“Kids! Lunch!” called the lady running the orphanage.

Sen was slow to answer the call, waiting for the pitter-patter of the other kids to fade away before getting up herself. She found that food had lost its luster since she was escorted out of her cell. Even if it hadn’t, it was such a chore to fill her belly. There were more important things to do, like read Ukina’s journal for the thirtieth time or scribbling in her notebook.

Those scribbles were especially important; they would be her ticket out of here.

It wasn’t like she wasn’t bullied at the orphanage— far from it. She was mostly ignored, actually, like a harmless ghost stalking the premises. A more presumptuous and haughty child would have hated it, but she actually preferred it; the other kids were either too bubbly, too selfish, or too young. Sometimes all three. Were she to strike up a conversation with one of them, it quickly became apparent that there were no grounds for a friendship. Not a lasting one, at least.

Besides, none of them could read— or rather, none of them could read at Sen’s level. The likes of Dazai, Kafka, Poe, and Murakami were beyond any of their wildest imaginings, and that was probably why she felt so, so— stuck.

She arrived at the mess hall and sat on the furthest edge of the few tables available. A quick scan of the room revealed everyone had gotten their fair share of food, so she picked out whatever was left over. Plate filled, she ate swiftly and efficiently before returning to her room without a word.

She found her notebook, stashed in a box locked with a key slotted in her prized copy of Frankenstein, given to her by Erina as a parting gift. Inside its pages were the senseless ramblings that would become Dear Kafka, a lengthy letter/story/poem to the titular author. Kafka also had a complicated relationship with his parents, and it bled into his writing like ink on a page. The Metamorphosis particularly spoke to Sen; the idea of being abandoned by a selfish and ignorant family was an unfortunate possibility for herself.

The pitter-patter of the other kids passed by Sen’s door again, this time in the opposite direction, and this time with chatter about what they were going to do next. Playing, shopping, whiling the time away with each other, and more.

All things Sen wished she understood.

—

The year flew by. She got Dear Kafka published. Shiono adopted her and, along with it, she met Kuzen for the first time.

A part of her had clung to the hope that Kuzen was simply another victim of V, like her and Papa were. That part had spun a tale that he was trapped in their cycle, that he had protected her by giving her a life away from all of that. After all, V liked to employ the poor and gullible; her father had simply grown wise to it, a heroic exception to the rules.

However, when the real deal walked through those doors, dressed in high quality leathers, a golden wristwatch, and the smell of a full belly, that silly fantasy fell apart. Sen realized it then and there: He chose to leave her. He chose V over her.

It seemed there were worse things than just being alone.

———

Her rage was unquenchable, even as she toppled pile after pile, kicked shelf after wall after shelf. Nothing was satisfying enough, and all she was doing was getting tired.

Fine.

Shoving fallen books out of her way with her foot, she made it to the fridge, where she found a six-pack of canned beer. She dragged it with her to the couch, plopped down on what little space remained, and cracked open a can. In her recklessness, it exploded in her face and all over her clothes.

She screwed her eyes shut. That’s just fucking great, isn’t it? She slowly wiped the bubbles off and slapped the new stains on her coat. Amazing.

Whatever. Nothing a proper fucking wash couldn’t fix— if she even got around to it. When had she even done her laundry last? When had she even cared about that? Especially now, when she found she couldn’t give a fuck about anything?

She downed half the can in one go, ignoring how her head quickly began to swim in the liquid. The taste was still disgusting, but at least her belly felt warm with alcohol and not shame. She grabbed the nearest thing to read— a notebook— and nearly tore the cover off to read it.

Seemed she’d grabbed one of her old notebooks, judging by the messy scrawls and the absolute refusal to cross anything out (“It might be valuable!” she always said to Shiono). There didn’t seem to be anything of value the more she read: idle observations, extrapolation based on nothing, and worse. She almost gave up and tried to find something else, until she turned the page:

“Eyes, like tainted diamonds, cross the expanse. They pierce inky tendrils of hair, reaching out for something they will never have. Grasp, miss, grasp. Like children swiping at the ceiling.

“Delicate fingers dig into their master’s scalp, and they fabricate a mockery of reality with the blood. A third option to escape memories and reality both. ‘Foolish,’ they all think. ‘Meaningless. Worthless.’

“Yet they do not stop. They reach out and fabricate and dream. Spilling wine can still be beautiful.”

It was then that Sen recognized the notebook: it was the one she’d brought to Kazuichi Public Park. A fresh buy at the time, she’d gotten it to mark her first day working with Haise Sasaki, the mystery artist whose work nestled up to her like nothing else before.

She remembered being confused at first. The blubbering, anxious mess napping in the coffee shop was him? The niche artist with a small following, whose works captured the innate horror that society could be, was that inexperienced, introverted mess?

But, as the interview continued, the pieces began to fit together. His chin rubs to indicate his lies, his lack of confidence in going to art school, his expert deciphering of her work, unlike anyone she’d met before, and then, his most incredible work yet— those never-before-seen masterpieces— sitting in his portfolio. For her, of all people.

He was hiding behind a mask, just like she was. Where she pushed herself to the front and hid in plain sight, he faded into those backgrounds he hated to draw so much. Different methods, same result.

And then, in the park, she watched him get to work and succumb to the passion he kept in check far too often. His pencil, which once quivered in his grasp, glided effortlessly across the page, and when she caught him looking at her out the corner of her eye, it was like a day’s worth of appreciation was condensed in a single second.

For a brief moment, Sen had seen the real Haise Sasaki: focused, calm, and above all, beautiful.

And tonight, she had punched him for something that wasn’t even his fault. Way to go.

She doubted he’d come back now— as if someone like her was worth choosing over whatever the hell Kuzen had done for him. That old geezer’s years of experience pacifying the likes of the Devil Apes and Black Dobers, all while V stole their turf right under their noses, had to have sunken their roots in deep.

Unlike the Bins, Miza and Naki, and Tatara, Haise had something to lose if he went against V. She was stupid to think she could put herself above those things in a few short months, much as she wished she could. He was the type to pay people back for their kindness, giving more than he had taken. It was his best and worst trait, and because of it, he would pay back Anteiku a thousand times over before her.

The worst part was that Sen couldn’t blame him.

Downing the rest of her beer can, she tossed the notebook away. Better to just focus on something else. It plopped harmlessly on the floor, and the sound stung more than all the others.

She cracked open a second can.

———

Some months after Arima bailed on her, Sen managed to put herself back together with Shiono’s help. A book signing for her most recent release, Industrial, was held to get her back into public thought.

That signing was the first time she met the Bins.

“Name?” she asked, a small smile on her face.

She was faced with a large man, what seemed like his wiry brother, and then who she assumed was their little sister, who couldn’t be over eight or nine. The man nudged his brother forward encouragingly.

“Er… Bin,” he said. “Just Bin.”

“Bin, hm?” She clicked her pen a few times. “Like ‘bottle’?”

He nodded. “Y-Yeah, heheh…”

She scribbled the single kanji down, followed by her own signature. The man spoke up then. “We wanted to thank you personally, by the way, for your donation.”

Sen paused, then looked up. “Donation?” Shiono had assured her that it was anonymous…

The man suddenly looked embarrassed. “O-Oh, uh… Heh, was it? Weird… Sorry about that, then; musta gotten you mixed up with someone else!”

She raised a brow.

The girl then spoke up. “Big Bro, I thought we were here ‘cause you found out it was her, didn’t you?”

“Yumitsu!” the middle brother, the one with the book, hissed.

Sen suddenly laughed. “Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed! How’d you figure it out?”

The man scratched his head. “Big fan of computers, I guess?”

“You go to college for that stuff?”

“Nah; dropout. Couldn’t afford it. We’re holed up in that shelter for a reason.”

She nodded slowly, tracing a circle on the table with her finger. The donation in question was to keep the shelter from being closed down, and keep all its residents from being relocated. The reason it was about to shut down was the Souzu Foundation, which had a keen interest in developing houses on some nearby land. A homeless shelter was just so terrible for marketing, apparently.

She wondered how many other places were under threat. How many other places could she save if she just knew about them?

She glanced up at the man. If she just had someone like this on her side, then—

“You’ll have to tell me more sometime,” she said, slipping her card between the pages. “And thank you for coming!”

———

Bzzzt. Bzzzt.

With a groan, Sen stirred at the sound of her phone. Ugh, everything hurt. It was like she’d been crushed by her entire collection last night. As feeling coursed through her body once again— which included a pounding headache— she looked down at herself.

Beer cans and stains across her clothes, and the familiar square weight of books on her chest and stomach. So she was right. In a way. Whatever, close enough. She grabbed her phone and checked who texted her.

From: Shiono hey kiddo im outside

Oh, please be fucking joking.

Ding, dong.

“Goddammit…” she muttered, forcing herself up and sending books and cans toppling to the floor. Oh, how awesome.

She tripped every other step getting to the door; she swore to God, if Shiono really was on the other side, his ass was not getting in—

One look through the peephole confirmed her worst fears. Carefully and begrudgingly, she cracked open the door.

“Hey…” she managed, trying to blink away her headache.

Shiono took one look at her, then sighed. “You’ve been drinking.”

“So?” Sen nursed the back of her head. “I can make my own decisions.”

“And why did you make this decision?” He put his hand on the door.

“Doesn’t matter. Why’re you here?”

He raised a brow. “What, can’t a dad show up for his daughter?”

She scrutinized him, waiting for his tell for when he lied. It didn’t come. “Ugh, fine. Come on in…”

“Thanks, kiddo.” He happily showed himself in.

He didn’t comment on the state of the place until he made them some tea (Sen would have clambered to take his place, but her hangover had other plans). “You’ve been busy,” he said, the real question tucked inside.

She sat down and rested her head on the counter. “Just— ugh— just thought some redecorating was in order.”

“You’re being dodgy too. What happened last night?” He gestured to her cup. “And drink; it’ll help.”

With some effort, she took a sip. Why was he so good at brewing tea? That wasn’t fair. “It was fine.”

He didn’t believe her for a second. How irritating. “And yet you have a hangover.”

“It’s a hangover; that doesn’t mean anything.” She turned her head so that she couldn’t see him. “Sometimes you drink shittily.”

“If you don’t want to tell me, I can’t make you.” Shiono touched her shoulder. “Do you want me to get you anything?”

She scowled, but relented. “Headache medicine.”

He chuckled. “Anything else?”

The selfish little brat inside her brain, the one that wanted to be coddled day in and day out, seized control. “Warm water, and a blanket. Also—”

—

After a slow, warm bath, a fresh change of clothes, and Shiono shoveling books to the edges of the floor, Sen talked. Slowly, but she talked, and Shiono was a patient man. She talked about Kuzen, about Kurona, about the Torso, and about Haise.

She sat on the couch, while he stood behind her and braided her hair. “So,” he said, “what’ll you do now?”

Sen scoffed. “I thought you’d have more to say.”

“You’re one of the smartest people I know.” He fished out a hair tie “I think you already know what I’d say.”

Her mouth twisted into a frown; she hated when he used that against her. “Ugh, fine. You want me to try to apologize to Yasuhisa, and you think that it’ll ultimately make me feel better.”

“And?”

“And that while my anger is justified, my actions were not,” she grumbled. “There was a better, safer way.”

A pause. He finished the tie. “And?”

“And—?!” She whirled on him, almost slapping him in the face. “What the fuck else is there?!”

He held up the notebook from last night. “Who else do you need to apologize to?”

She snatched the book away with a glare. “He won’t accept it,” she said.

“You sure?”

“Shiono, I punched him. Pretty sure that’s good grounds for a no.”

“You won’t know until you try,” he said. “You’ve got work tomorrow, right? Maybe he’ll show up.”

“Yeah, okay.” She rolled her eyes, drinking her tea with more ferocity.

“I think you’ll be surprised.” Shiono leaned a bit closer. “I know you two’ve been dating for a while, but he was head-over-heels for you long before the resort.”

“That—!” Sen felt her face flush and tried to maintain some semblance of dignity. “Shut up…”

Ugh, she should have known he was in on it when he showed up. He’d been scouting out Haise as a partner, the nosy bastard.

Shiono, meanwhile, kept smiling. “C’mon, Sen. I think you should give yourself a chance. You’re a lot more charming than you think you are.”

She made a face, all traces of budding appreciation gone. “I don’t want to hear that kinda stuff from my dad, thanks.”

He burst into laughter. She allowed him a few peals alone before joining in.

———

Call it luck, call it fate. Nineteen-year old Sen was glad either way.

“Drink up, boys!!” a young Naki cried out, tears streaking down his face. “This’s th’ last party we’ll have as the White Suits of Tokyo!!! Enjoy it!! All-you-can-eat stuffing session!!!”

Those around him weren’t faring much better; all were drinking themselves into a stupor, crying, or both. Sen watched the scene with her mouth hung open, hovering somewhere between shock and amusement.

For the past week, she’d been trying to find the owner of the White Suits, ever since their property was bought out by Ihei Inc. in an attempt to flush out flowering small businesses. Now, lo and behold, with no work on her end, there he was! And with his staff, too! Now, all she had to do was—

“Are you Sen Takatsuki?”

Fuck. Sen slowly turned around to the source of the voice.

It was a young woman with jet black hair and piercing red eyes. She was sitting at a table with three others: a very small woman and two men with white hair, but the same eyes as the first woman.

“I’m so sorry,” the black-haired woman said. “I just— I wanted to make sure, in case you actually were and not just, y’know.”

“Fei,” the second woman said, “don’t bother her, please.”

Sen shook her head, plastering a smile on her face. “No, it’s fine.” She brushed some hair out of her face; honestly, she should be more surprised this didn’t happen sooner. “Are you a fan?”

“My brother Xin is!” The woman, apparently named Fei, grinned. “Right, Xin?”

Of the two men at the table, the smaller one with a face mask, probably Xin, tensed. He couldn’t be older than Sen was. Was he sick? She would’ve stayed home, personally; any excuse to not make the trek to Shoeisha was a good excuse.

The older man nudged him. “Go on.”

Xin huffed through his mask. “I’m sorry about this. You seem busy,” he said, then looked at the other man. “And we’re pretty busy too, right? Mr. Houji’s gonna be here any second now.”

Sen blinked. “You could argue I’m always busy. And—” Her gaze landed on the tiny woman at the table, who was picking at her food and not listening. “Wait, are you— Are you Miza Kusakari?”

Miza looked up, confused. “I am, but—”

Sen practically slid across the table to grab Miza’s hands. “Did you sell your property?! Tell me you didn’t.”

Miza reeled backwards at the sudden familiarity. “Er, no, not yet, but— Wait, how do you know about that?”

“Details can wait.” Big Bin and his new partner— a hacker and independent reporter named Chie— worked pretty well together. “Did you sell your building to Ihei Inc.?”

“No, that’s supposed to be classified. How’d you figure it out?”

Stubborn woman; Sen was trying to help! “I have a business opportunity for you, and it involves that gaggle of guys right over there.” She pointed to the table with the White Suits, who were grappling each other in a pile of hugs. “They were duped by Ihei too, and you’re gonna get duped too.”

Miza pursed her lips. “Even so, I can’t just— I don’t have the funds to pay the property tax.”

“Let me take care of that.” Sen grinned, sliding into an open spot next to Fei.

“We were just discussing that,” the older man said. “Hands off, Takatsuki.”

“Yan,” Xin said, glancing at Sen. “She’s Sen Takatsuki. She has a lot of pull here in Japan, far more than us. If Ihei Inc. catches wind that she’s part of this, then maybe—”

“Oh, familiar?” This was going much better than she thought it would. Both White Suits and Triple Blades under the same roof, along with whoever these three were— it was like hitting the jackpot.

Yan’s eyes narrowed. “Familiar how?”

She rested her chin in her hands. “You could say I have some business with friends of the Ihei.”

Miza just looked confused. “Okay, I guess I’m missing something here. What?”

Sen grinned again. “I think you’ll like this one.”

———

If only she could laugh or smile now.

She shouldn’t be nervous. This was Haise, the nicest guy in the world. The same guy who turned into a sweaty mess whenever he touched her fucking bra strap. The same guy who had embraced her scars without a second thought. The same guy who was able to peel back the mask stuck to her face and stare at— even admire— the skinless thing behind it. Sen could apologize to someone like that, no problem.

And yet: her grip on the train pole was like iron.

She hated the idea of sucking up to someone, even if that someone was the one of the few people she’d be semi-okay with. It still made her feel weak and vulnerable, things she still was getting used to being. Such a stupid feeling, she thought— one she ought to crush in her hands like an extra shitty draft. She was an adult; this was nothing.

When her phone rang, however, she jumped. She brought it out to check, hoping to see Haise’s name, but it was an unfamiliar number instead. Still, she answered.

“Uh, hello?”

“Ms. Takatsuki?” a familiar voice said on the other side. “It’s, um, it’s me, Hinami…”

“Oh.” This’d be fun. “Uh, hi…”

She’d forgotten she’d given Hina her business card. They’d really hit it off at the gathering, and Sen simply assumed that whatever goodwill she’d built up during that time was completely gone. Apparently not; she wasn’t sure why, but it was a pleasant surprise. If Hina could forgive her, then why couldn’t Haise?

“I-I’m sorry, is this a bad time? I just— I wanted to— I’m sorry; I’m just—”

“No, no!” Sen cleared her throat. “No, it’s good to hear from you… I was just heading into work, was all, and, well, you know how it’s been.” She shook off the nerves. “Anyway, what’d you need?”

Hina seemed to hesitate. “W-Well, um… I wanted to know: is Haise with you right now?”

Sen bit her lip and switched hands. The train slowed as it approached its next stop. “No… We separated after I left the party.”

“Oh…” The girl sounded nervous. “I’m sorry, then. I guess I thought— Well, Hide said he never came back after he followed you, so I assumed that— I-I’m sorry.”

Sen blinked. That couldn’t be right. “Wait, he isn’t— he wasn’t with you or Hide? What about Touka?”

Touka was also an absolute delight to be around. Surprisingly, minus their exact opposite taste in books (Touka was a hell of a lot more cutesy than Sen would have thought her to be), they had a lot in common. Orphanage, no parents, headstrong— it was  actually pretty funny. Maybe that was why Haise wasn’t so taken aback by Sen’s aggressiveness; Touka was, arguably, used to be worse.

“Not her, either…” Sen heard Hina shuffle around. “Do you know anywhere else he might have gone?”

She thought of a few places— the Kazuichi Public Park, the cafe where they first met— but none were a good fit to sleep in. “Have you texted him already?”

“Yeah, Hide has… No response.” Hina’s voice was shaking as Sen got off the train. “So if you haven’t seen him, then—”

“Hina, Hina. I need you to relax. Breathe,” Sen said, though her own pace quickened. “I know Haise. We know Haise. He wouldn’t disappear on a whim like that; there’s no precedent for it.”

He was sensitive, not suicidal, she told herself. Maybe at one point he might have been the other, but not today. He was… different now. Better. Well, better than he used to be. Sen didn’t need to know him for a long time to know that.

She reached Shoeisha, and just before she could enter, she saw Ami speaking to someone. By itself, it wasn’t unusual, but Sen froze when she glanced at their attire.

A long black trenchcoat, slacks, and shoes, with a fedora placed neatly on their head.

Her stomach dropped out of her abdomen and hit the floor.

“Um, Ms. Takatsuki?” Hina’s voice served to help her out of her trance. “Are you still there?”

“Where are you right now, Hina?” Sen asked, immediately turning back toward the station.

“What’s wrong?”

She cut Hina off. “Where are you right now?”

Hina verbally flinched. “A-At Haise and Hide’s apartment! But, um—”

Sen sprinted down the street, shoving past anyone in her way. “Who’s with you?”

“Touka and Ayato… Hide’s gonna come back too, so—”

Hide would be there. Good. “Alright, don’t move; I’m heading over right now.”

“Wait, what are you—”

She jabbed her finger into the screen, ending the call.