#the version of her that lives in my mind is so well-rounded and developed

[morallysuperiorlips]

How I Come Up With Compelling and Fun Characters!

Back at you again with another TedTalk.

Coming up with well-rounded characters is my favorite part of the writing process. I like to come up with convoluted plots, so ofc convoluted characters have to follow. While I am someone who is VERY guilty of injecting my own traits/experiences into my characters (because I like to live vicariously through them or use them to cope don't @ me), I try to do that once I've established them as their own people. Because then they just end up being other versions of me, and we don't want that trust me

The adage I like to live by is "when the character feels real to you, they'll feel real to the reader," so I try to go out of my way to know as much as I can about them before I start to put them down on paper.

I know full names, birthdays (down to the hour), exact heights, blood types, favorite colors, foods, etc. and I try to know most of the surface-level things. I'll try to delve a little deeper but I do like to let my characters breathe when I'm writing them because sometimes they do things that make me stare into the camera like I'm on the Office and I want to give them the room to do so because that's like 60% of the process (in my humblest of opinions as a self-taught/ professional hybrid)

When I first started writing my novel, I could tell you off the top of my head that my protagonist, Odette Harmonie Cinq-Mars, was born in the little fictional town of Pendulum Province, France on December 14th, 1997 at 8:16pm, her blood type is AB+, she's 5'0, she's left-handed, and her favorite color is royal purple. I could also tell you she has anger issues, is hyper-observant, is a classically trained singer and dancer, and is kind of cold as a person. That last trait ended up writing most of itself out as she developed, but it's how she started, and I never got much deeper than that until I wrote her.

But, rewinding a little bit, I like to come up with ideas for my characters from tropes and stereotypes. My truest formula for coming up with characters is:

Trope/Archetype

- Some tropey traits

+ Traits you might not normally see in that trope/archetype

+ As many details as possible

+ Putting them in random situations that come to mind and watching them figure it out (even if it might be unrelated to the plot)

+ A little bit of yourself (always optional)

For example:

My "tropiest" character's name is Noel Masse; he was heavily based on the archetype of the peacocky gay theater kid who kinda has a hoe streak. Before you come for my neck, hear me out.

What are traits of this trope I could erase (or heavily modify) for him? From my experience theater kids get kinda cliquey--not all, but some--Noel has his friends, but he's the type who wants to be friends with everyone. He doesn't like to judge unless people give him a reason to. Theater kids might have their heads in the clouds all the time, and Noel airs on the side of keeping himself grounded when he needs to.

What are some odd traits I could add to him? What can I expand on? Noel has severe indecision--he's a theater kid who doesn't know if he wants to be theater kid. He has dedicated his life to being a musical theater star, but he has a calling in mystery solving, coding, and all things tech. This indecision often cripples him, and even seeps into his love life, which leads to some promiscuity~

What are the little details I know about Noel? Noel Coretyn Masse is a natural born witch, born in a little (fictional) city in France called Athamera on September 9th, 1997 at 12:11am. He is 6'0, 175 pounds, blood type O-, ENFP-T, right-handed, his favorite color is royal blue, and he has a gifted vocal octave range (3.8), and is very good at most forms of dance.

What scenarios have I put him in that helped him build? This was actually how I decided he was good with technology and all things coding, hacking, computers, etc. I figured out he was good at this stuff when I needed a character to hack something later on in the story and I threw him into the mix just to see what would happen and it stuck IMMEDIATELY. So, this category can also help build category 2 for sure.

Bits of me? His dedication to the arts and his desire for a large friend group hope I didn't just roast myself lol

DISCLAIMER: I want to make a note for anyone who thinks that this is overkill: yes, it probably is. But, I also want to note that I have been told time and time again that my characterization in my stories is my strongest point. So, clearly I'm doing SOMETHING right here.

I also want to note that this is NOT the "correct" way of coming up with characters. In fact, I don't think there is a "correct" way (as is with most things artistic and creative). This is just MY way of doing things. If you have a way that you come up with characters that works for you, I'd love to hear about it!

[velvetvexations]

You’re so cool AND you love yuyu hakusho…do you have a favorite character/arc?

Kurama, Dark Tournament arc.

Kurama is so fucking awesome. I love his characterization as someone who would prefer to live a normal human life and make his human mom happy, so he refuses to fuck around and if you fight him RIP because he's going to kill you as quickly and efficiently as possible. That's groundbreaking for a shonen series where every other protagonist is defined by a love of battle as an activity. Kurama is extremely good at what he does and would rather not have to get his hands dirty, but if you make him, you're going to regret it.

I think this is highlighted more in the English dub of the anime, which is one of many reasons I think it's the best version of YYH. For instance, this is how Roto's death goes in the sub, which is more accurate to the manga:

In the dub, the dialogue goes:

KURAMA: I'm afraid there won't be anything left of your evil life after that. ROTO: I'm just a low-class! I don't know any better! You believe in mercy, don't you? KURAMA: No.

That's way colder, and emphasizes that Kurama isn't just a typical heroic sadist, that his connection to humanity is genuine but he's willing to turn on the demon shit to protect that connection and specifically for that reason.

As for why I love the Dark Tournament arc specifically...man, all of it pops off.

You have a solid cap on Yusuke's growth from a juvenile delinquent to real Spirit Detective. Boy goes through the wringer this arc, physically and mentally, but every time he gets over one trial you can really feel how he's grown from it.

You have a ton of character development and spotlights for the other three, with all of them winning important battles and contributing to each round. My other primary shounen fandom having the entire supporting cast stuck in the Wait For Goku grind, this was mind-blowing in comparison. This is still one of the hardest issues for any media centered around fights like this, how do you get the supporting cast in there earning their keep? The Dark Tournament does it perfectly, and it never feels like Yusuke is above them simply for being the protagonist. Like, yes, he undeniably is the strongest of them, but you really do believe there's at least a small chance Hiei really could have taken on Toguro because the gulf between them is not nearly as massive as it is between the protagonist and his friends in other shows. Even Yusuke, in the end, only just barely defeated him after being pushed to his limits.

But not just the fighters, no, you have Keiko's relationship with Yusuke simmering, you have Koenma displaying real character for the first time as he worries about the stakes and just what Sayako could be up to, even Kuwabara's sister for some reason has a half-romance with the main villain and it's somehow compelling?

And oh my God, the villains! The fighters on every team is delightful, all of them fill their precise roles perfectly and do an amazing job being both memorable and serving a function in the story, especially in prodding the heroes further along their character arcs. Team Toguro is especially great as the climax, a full team of all bangers. Elder Toguro is a fucking freak. Bui is a little flat, but does well as a giant beat-stick to go down to Hiei and prove that he's the second strongest of the heroes in an absolutely amazing fight that takes everything out of him. And oh my fucking God, Karasu. Obviously as a Kurama fan I'm all fucking over that fight. Sayako serves as the perfect antagonist behind the scenes, smug and casual, with a hint of authenticity to his weird aura that makes you want to have drinks with him even as he describes he took to enjoying cruelty for it's own sake out of boredom with his perfect life.

But Younger Toguro takes the cake. So few shounen villains are as complex or interesting while still being so intimidating and monstrous. His relationship with Genkai is something else. His final scene with her is heartbreaking.

GENKAI: Don't ever feel regret for the things between us. TOGURO: No, Genkai. But it would have been a beautiful life.

In comparison, the earlier arcs lack all that bang, and while the following arcs match more in scale, I have a lot more issues with them. Here's some of what I wrote about Chapter Black when I was rewatching the series last, which I do every year or two:

Like, the majority of Chapter Black makes no fucking sense because you can tell how hard it’s trying to be JoJo (which is obviously something I’ve only come to understand in retrospect) with Territories, but like, the mind-reader has zero powers beyond mind-reading! The fact that he can read minds and aspires to be a dirty boxer should mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to Yusuke, who punches hard enough to throw people through solid rock and create craters, and fast enough that he can’t be tracked by human eyes. JoJo works because it’s characters are normal humans with highly specific superpowers that have to work within the confines of only having those superpowers. You can’t just move DBZ-tier characters into that sort of context fighting enemies who are specifically noted as being completely normal humans outside of their specialized abilities.

Another thing I’ll criticize Chapter Black for along with it’s weird inconsistency with power levels is that it doesn’t really make any sense to suddenly make a big deal about how it would be so terrible if Yusuke killed a human who was currently trying to like, murder an entire hospital full of people who could only be saved by his dying. It’s a cop out that Yusuke stops his heart only for Genkai to start it again being all like “you don’t need to have murder on your conscious” but also a completely unnecessary cop out because they’ve been merc'ing demons left and right all show up to this point, who by now everyone should be well aware are thinking living sentient beings who often even look identical to humans. It’s also a strange inconsistency to show up here of all arcs considering the whole point of it is that humans and demons are equally bad and good, but all the way to the very end you have Yusuke suddenly fighting to not kill Sensui for no other discernable reason than his humanity.

Aside from poor Gourmet, the other psychics in Chapter Black, even the attempted mass murderer Doctor, get cozy endings where they learn to let go of their maladaptive hatred of other humans, except for Sniper whose last word is that he’s going to hunt a group of animal abusers for sport with the narrator noting he disappeared after high school. There’s something kinna hilarious about that. Everyone else chills out per the overarching message of the arc but it’s fine and cool for Sniper to be Japanese Punisher, I guess. Which I’m not criticizing in and of itself, more power to him, but it’s INCONGRUENT with the MESSAGING.

And then one of the only things I said about Three Kings was:

Absolutely the correct choice to give Koto’s reintroduction so much pizazz. The path Three Kings ultimately takes is “you liked the Dark Tournament, right? the Dark Tournament was great, we’re going to do the Dark Tournament again”, and lemme tell you Velvet Nation, I’m totally fine with that because the Dark Tournament WAS great.

But that doesn't mean there aren't a lot of things to love about those other arcs! As a Kurama fan I especially can't let it go without mention that the conflict with Gamemaster, and the way he takes his anger and sorrow out on Elder Toguro immediately after, not to mention the reveal of Elder Toguro being there in the first place, is a 10/10 no notes series of scenes. I also had this high praise for the penultimate fight in Chapter Black:

The fight against Sensui is, IIRC, the only time YYH has a “wait for Yusuke” fight and it works perfectly. Unlike in Dragon Ball Z where literally anyone else doing anything is just a complete waste of time, the supporting cast of YYH are regularly accomplishing things and winning meaningful fights the whole time, so it earns a sequence where Yusuke seems to have really died for real, even if the audience knows he’ll be back up sooner than later, and the others try to continue on without him only to get bodied even coming at the BBEG three on one. It’s also unlike DBZ in that the others fighting Sensui is a curb stomp from start to finish, instead of it being treated like something that matters only to turn out to have been pointless the whole time by the end. Even the legendary Hellzone Grenade concludes with 17 no selling it with zero problem despite the build up. The fight with Sensui is just short and sweet enough to serve as the Worf Effect but also long enough to give the secondary heroes their due in the effort their putting in to substitute for the temporarily fallen protagonist.

The Dark Tournament is just the GOAT, you know?

[that-one-kiddo-in-the-back]

Lily trying to insinuate that Vi being into Caitlyn means she's into her sister also makes no sense because the last time VI saw Powder, she had very short hair and was... like... a child. She met Caitlyn (and probably developed feelings for Caitlyn) way before she wound up meeting her sister for the first time in years. The only similarity physically is 'ooh blue hair' which really isn't that big a deal. It's not even the same shade of blue. Frankly, Lily again trying to insist that Vi had feelings like that for a version of her own sister that was, you know, probably 11 at the oldest, is once again just her projecting. This is of course in addition the stuff you already said regarding their mother. She had purple hair, and Vi's eye color, so I don't really get how she is in any way similar to Cait. The only reason Vi briefly saw Cait as her mother is because she was experiencing blood loss and hallucinating. The last time a woman cared for her well being was her mom. It was literally just a blink and you miss it hallucination thing, not "omg you guys, omg Vi has incest issues omggggg"

Both Jinx and Vi have parental issues because you know they're dead, and they both saw their dead bodies. Vi for the longest time, had no woman that was willing to clean her wounds. All she had for memory was her mother

Here's a not so fun fact. A woman named Mary Seacole, who was a doctor during the Crimean war, recalled that the soldiers who died called her mother and the ones that lived called her mother seacole. When people go through life-threatening injuries or trauma, they can imagine the face of a parent. When my mother is in horrible pain, she'll call out for her mother. It's not unusual for someone to think of a mother or father when they are being cared for, especially (again) when you lost your parents at a young age.

As for Powder and Caitlyn It makes me in frustration because here what Jinx looked like VS what Caitlyn looked like when they met.

Do you see the difference!?

Their eyes, bone structures, and body types are completely different. Caitlyn is 5 foot 8. You can see her cheekbones her shoulders are broad and sturdy, and her eyes are dark blue with an almond shaped. Jinx is 5 foot 3, and her cheeks and jaw are round shaped. She's got a bit more muscle, and she shoulders are more soft and slumped, and her eyes are bright blue and round in shape.

Also, keep in mind how different Vi talks/treats Jinx VS. Caitlyn. When Vi and Jinx reunite Vi talks to Jinx like a child her voice is more gentle, shaken, and happy, giving her gentle hugs and touches on her arm Where as with Caitlyn, it's cold, sarcastic, and hard with Vi keeping her hands in her pockets but eventually goes soft on Caitlyn.

In order for people to come to the conclusion that Vi has a sister complex or an Oedipus complex, you would have to rip your arm off to make that kind of reach.

It's like you said Lily is just projecting.

[cursedvibes]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "cursedvibes "?

I called myself "cursedvibes" because I thought that's the kind of impression the fics I want to write give off. My first beta reader @kaitakushi agreed (hehe) and so it was decided. As for fanfics, I'm not really gonna rank them but more list them by fandom...

JJK

Complicity by SenZen_Travers

Mahito/Kenjaku and my favourite fic of their ship. The characterization is really good and this might sound silly, but I'm glad Kenjaku is allowed to bottom here for once (very rare with Kenjaku ships in general unfortunately...)

King's Ascent by Acromos

Unfinished, but best Sukuna/Uraume fic I've ever read. Uraume is asexual and nonbinary. Love the world building and general prose here. Most of the chapters are focused on how the two grew up and they only really meet in the last one, but it's still incredibly good.

CSM

Well Prepared by Gay_as_fuck

Fic about Santa Claus and Tolka, his feelings for her and how she used him and gradually turned him into a weapon. There are only two fanfics about Santa Claus on AO3, but I'm glad this is one of them, it has exactly what I'm looking for. It's sweet, but also eerily creepy.

Houseki no Kuni

Shards of the Two of Us by undeadrabbit

Technically Kongo/Phos, but their love is platonic. Absolutely wonderful, kind of like someone wrote down all my thoughts about what happened between scenes or you got some additional canon material. Very heartbreaking to see them slowly drift apart and hurting themselves and each other despite still caring about the other.

Naruto

xenograft by Misfit_McCoward

AU where Sakura becomes Orochimaru's student while he's in Konoha and they do lots of experimentation together, on humans and animals alike. I like how Sakura slowly gets sucked in deeper in Orochimaru's machinations and loses any moral qualms she would otherwise have about the research they are doing, going so far as to compromise her own health for it. Just the sort of Mad Scientist story I like.

Be It Ever So Humble by Orochimartyr (ffnet)

A civilian enters one of Orochimaru's abandoned bases and inspects what has been left behind. I love stories that show the horror we are often familiar with in a story from the perspective from an outsider, especially if it involves the discovery of medical malpractice. There's a creeping sort of terror as we discover with this person what happened and piece together what horrible acts have been committed here. It actually really influenced my writing and was what I always aspired to write as well.

JJBA

can you tell that I like the Pillar Men?

I'll Follow You by Opus_Love

A Kars and Pillar Men origin story with Fix-It elements to it, since this is the 37th version of Kars we follow and this time he has the chance to make things right and not lose everything only to be cast into space. I especially love the slow development of Esidisi and Kars relationship and the little tidbits of information we get about the society they originated from.

We turn that old wheel round again by dratinigirl

AU where Kars lands on Earth again after being shot into space, but it's present day and Esidisi has been incarnated as a regular human, which gives Kars quite the culture shock. Very sweet, a bit angsty, but all ends well.

Youth, Man, and Father by dratinigirl

Another Pillar Men origin story. What can I say, I love the whole culture and society people come up with and I'm a sucker for EsiKars slowburn.

Monster

Five Roads Home by Lindra (ffnet)

Post-canon. Dieter and Johan bond over the child abuse they suffered and how it affects them even now. Johan is being cagey of course, but still more friendly than during canon events. It feels in-character though. Also found it nice to see Johan living as a woman now, but removed from the identity of "Anna".

[alabasterpickles]

😭 omg you’re Hades x Persephone artwork is so amazing! I can’t get enough of the comic strips! If you turned this into a comic series I’d totally read it!

I did have a question if you didn’t mind. What would you say your version would be of Hades ‘kidnapping’ Persephone like in the original story?

Can’t wait to see more of your work! Take care!

Strap in cause this is going to be a long(ish) explanation! 😂

Disney obviously took many liberties with the Hercules film, especially with Hades, so I’m kinda putting a twist on the abduction story —

Disney’s Hades is clever and a bit of a snake oil peddler so when it comes to the whole “throwing her over his shoulder and disappearing into the night” narrative, I just don’t see him doing that?

He’s never that direct. He’s got a back-door solution to all his problems.

Here’s how I think he’d do it —

I have the story mapped out like this: Persephone makes her annual appearance on spring and Hades is topside for some reason (possibly plotting the downfall of his brothers, semantics I’m still developing!) when he notices her for the first time.

Based on the show’s logic, I’m gonna assume he doesn’t volunteer to spend a lot of time on the surface during spring, considering how much he despises it.

Anyway, Hermes is making his rounds and notices Hades getting ready to make a move so he intervenes initially. But then, lightbulb! He figures it’s probably best that Hades find himself a wife so he’s too distracted to cause chaos for the rest of the pantheon. From here, he and several other gods start to engineer circumstances to bring Hades and Persephone together.

I’m going for a very Star-crossed lovers vibe on this one, kind of Romeo and Juliet, since historically speaking Demeter and Hades aren’t on good terms. Demeter has already arranged for her daughter to marry another Olympian (in this case, Ares. I’m using him because he’s pig-headed and bullish enough in character to rival Hades as a villain!), this is naturally a bone of contention between the two of them because Persephone can’t stand the guys.

I like the idea of Hades and Persephone meeting up secretly, going on “pseudo-dates” to get away from their Godly duties and the pressures of being them. They begin to discover they have a lot more in common than they expected. Eventually they fall in love and Persephone has to make a decision — break off the engagement with Ares or follow through on the marriage and be miserable.

Of course this is also an issue for Hades so as the conflict comes to a head, he offers Demeter an ultimatum, either she allows her daughter to stay with him or he unleashes the Underworld’s entire soul content on the surface to wreak havoc on the mortal and godly realms respectively (he’s bluffing).

Zeus and Hera both know this but want to see him happy and out of their hair. They decide to play along.

Zeus uses his divine influence to make a deal with his brother in Demeter’s stead, so Hades draws up a contract (as he is wont to do) and the pair of them agree that Persephone is to spend six months in the underworld and six months on the surface working with her mother. Fair enough, right?

Since the whole scheme wasn’t strictly consensual, Persephone is hurt and angry that Hades would be so cavalier with signing away her freedom. Hades tries to explain to her that he was only trying to protect her from marrying someone she didn’t love and by extension not lose her to Ares for eternity in the process.

Although it was “technically” against her will, it definitely wasn’t forced, because I truly believe Disney’s Hades would want her to be happy with him in the Underworld like any other version would. 😂

There’s a lot of build up in my mind before they get to that point, by the time any of this takes place they’re already in a well established relationship, but that’s the gist of it.

She eventually forgives him and they live happily ever after! ❤️

[bizarre-blorbo-bracket]

Round 1 poll 32: The Phantom of the Opera from the Best of Andrew Lloyd Webber CD/OP's mind vs Vladislaus Straud from the Sims

Propaganda under the cut:

Phantom of the Opera:

Ok so when I was little my mum had this best of Andrew Lloyd Webber CD she would play in the car quite often. I had no clue what stories any of the songs were from but I liked listening and I could pick up on the fact that several were parts of a set. From The Phantom of the Opera we had the titular song, Music of the Night, and All I Ask of You. I knew from general cultural osmosis that the main character was Christine, there was the phantom of the opera, and then there was a guy called Raoul and that he and the phantom were in kind of a love triangle for Christine's love. Anyway I had trouble distinguishing between Raoul and the phantom's voices so I thought that all three songs were just the phantom and that instead of All I Ask of You setting the two men up as foils, it was character development for the phantom. And if he was a good guy who would have such a tender love song, obviously Raoul was the big bad of the show. I imagined in great detail over many car rides to and from school a version of the show where the phantom was Christine's friend who lived in the walls and while he was kind of skittish and eccentric from the isolation, he was genuinely a good person at heart. One day Raoul shows up and he's rich and good looking and kind of a Gaston archetype, and he seems to be taking an interest in Christine, which the phantom doesn't like because he's secretly been pining after his best friend all these years, so despite his fears the phantom invites Christine into his underground lair where they can finally meet in person instead of talking through the walls (The Phantom of the Opera). She's a little nervous but they bond over their shared interests (The Music of the Night) and it seems to be going well up to the point where she sees his face behind the mask and freaks out, leading him to also panic. When she asks to leave, he's like "uh, no the idea was for you to live down here permanently with me, especially now that you've seen my face." She's hurt and betrayed that he would be so controlling and they have a big fight which culminates in him reluctantly letting her go and them not talking to each other for a while. In that time, Christine gets engaged to Raoul and the phantom watches them from the shadows. He's distrustful of Raoul but believes it to be his personal jealousy clouding his judgement until he sees Raoul sabotaging the set of one of the plays and tries to stop him, but ends up getting blamed for injuring the other opera stars himself. Christine and Raoul fight about the details in the story that don't add up, and Raoul reveals that he doesn't really love her, he's just after her money and status, but there's no way out of this marriage now- in the eyes of society she will soon be his possession. But surprise! Here comes the phantom to save the day! He offers to hide Christine from Raoul in his underground lair and help her break off the engagement from a safe place, but this time it's her choice and she can come and go as she pleases. He's really sorry for how he acted and he understands that he can't demand her love but he doesn't want to live a life without her in it, just being by her side and being friends again would be enough (All I Ask of You).

She agrees and they make up and they successfully kick Raoul out of the opera house. She says she does love him but she doesn't want to live her life underground and he doesn't think he'll ever be ready to join society so they part ways again at the end of the play, but he leaves her with a ring so that she'll always remember him and the bond they share. Years later she dies, and the ring eventually makes its way back to the opera house where it's sold in an auction (I knew vaguely that there was an auction at some point in the stage play but I had no clue where so I put it here?). The phantom sees this and concludes that Christine must have finally forgotten him, and he is so distraught that he burns down the entire opera house with him inside (Don't judge me for the weird ending I was 10 and thought this was the deepest most tragic thing ever). So yeah! I was totally enamored with this version of the play that I had completely fabricated from three out of context songs, to the point where I was actually quite disappointed when I finally watched the real show. Watching encanto a couple years ago was actually really cathartic because finally I could watch something at least somewhat similar to my personal blorbo version of phantom where he was a cool chill guy who happened to live in the walls. Also sorry this answer got away from me if you read all of this thank you ily hope u enjoyed this ride thru my tweenage psyche - idk how this would actually be able to be used in a bracket in retrospect but I really enjoyed writing this all out it was a real trip down memory lane

Vladislaus Straud:

An evil loner who plays the organ, he is the elder vampire who breaks into people's houses and drinks their blood. A threat to society. He may or may not have committed mass homicide in the past. I love him. I want to bite and choke him. Non-sexual way, just pure violence. I want to pet him on the head and punch him. I want to break into his mansion, play on his stupid air piano until he is irritated, beat him up, steal his coat, hug him (twice), steal his painting and maybe kick him. Not gonna lie, he looks like he's pretty soft to the touch. He could canonically use a hug. Actually. I'm not even kidding. He also looks like Nosferatu sometimes.

[haveyoureadthistoo]

The lives of others: fictional memoirs

Human beings are peculiar creatures. Take away the basic features that distinguish us as a species and we can be so vastly dissimilar as to kill one another over our differences. Ironically enough, each one of us tends to sprout into several different versions of ourselves based on the choices we make and the experiences we have as we age and mature, to the point that we can barely recognise or associate with our younger selves as we look back.

That’s part of the fascination of fictional memoirs, in particular those that extend throughout a character’s entire life spam. They tend to be huge books, filled with many characters whose names are not always easy to remember and whose imaginary faces we have to change in our minds as we go forward, or sometimes back and forth, through the decades. I see how that can be a deal breaker to some, but you know what? I like it. Often better than actual memoirs.

The first book that comes to mind is “The Signature of All Things”, by Elizabeth Gilbert, which I would describe as, drum roll please - a botanical drama. Alma is a (Capricorn, through and through) woman born in a newly rich family in the year 1800. Gilbert does us a favour and uses as many round numbers as possible so we can situate ourselves easily in time. As Alma grows up (and old) we go through several different subgenres, starting with the obvious coming-of-age and ending in a classic adventure in the style of Jules Verne and Robert Louis Stevenson.

I was positively surprised, as the latter is a markedly male-dominated genre, and Gilbert brilliantly succeeds by managing to maintain the excitement of the journey without giving up the more well-rounded character-driven narrative she has set up from the beginning. In fact, Alma is a typical self-centred, isolated intellectual, so every social connection she makes has a bigger and deeper meaning. Even her approach to sex has a scientific interest as well as physical. And all that comes wrapped in lots of fun facts about bryophytes, so buckle up, my botany-lover friends!

Other examples of character-driven fictional memoirs are the sweet “The One Hundred Years of Lenni and Margot”, by Marianne Cronin, set in a cancer hospital ward, where 17-year-old Lenni and 83-year-old Margot reminisce on their joint 100 years of life as they develop an art project together; the bestseller “The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo”, by Taylor Jenkins Reid, where an old Hollywood star gets candid about her past in a conservative industry that held more secrets than truths; and a personal favourite, Valérie Perin’s breathtaking “Fresh Water for Flowers”, whose main character is a cemetery’s groundskeeper with a tragic and melancholy past that slowly unfolds as we accompany her in her peaceful routine, getting a glimpse here and there of the life of the people buried in the cemetery - their families, friends and lovers.

As we enter the realm of historical fiction, Isabel Allende’s “Violeta” is a good example of a fictional main character living in a very real world. Following a similar structure to “The Signature of All Things”, the book starts with Violeta’s birth in 1920 (again a round number!), amidst the Spanish flu pandemic, and ends with Violeta’s 100th birthday in 2020, this time amidst the coronavirus pandemic. Through Violeta’s personal story, full of twists and turns, we are educated on 100 years of political turmoil in South America, with Violeta’s own political awakening coming about during the military dictatorship in Chile.

Another fictional memoir that can be quite educational is Jorge Amado’s “Tent of Miracles”, using the death of a fictional poet named Pedro Archanjo to go back and forth in time and dive into Brazil’s racial history, from Afro-American religions and culture to the origins and ramifications of racial prejudice. Despite the very serious subject, Amado’s characteristic satire and mild debauchery are very present, making it an unexpected light read.

But perhaps the most popular branch of historical fiction is the fictional biography of real-life characters. Taking our subject matter here, which are narratives that span through decades of a character’s life, Irving Stone is a recent discovery I’m very excited about. So far I’ve only read “The Agony and the Ecstasy”, a very complete, 800-page long fictional biography of Michelangelo whose level of detail is so impressive and the tone is so on point that for a while I felt I was living in Renaissance Italy.

I’m sure the research required to pen such a novel is akin to that of a PhD, with the degree of difficulty increasing as you go further back in time. Which I suppose was what led Sue Monk-Kidd to rely more heavily in guesswork with “The Book of Longings”, set in the time of Jesus Christ, mixing biblical sources and historical speculation to recount the origins of Christianity, but with an added element that instigates debate in academic circles: that Jesus Christ could have had a wife. Despite a few exaggerations to match contemporary perspective, the author does a really good job of making the book both unoffensive to Christians and appealing to non-Christians.

Some other authors prefer to write in instalments, with each book reflecting a different stage in the main character’s life. L. M. Montgomery’s “Anne of Green Gables” series starts when Anne is only 11 and by the end of the last book she is 75 - and no longer the protagonist. Meanwhile, the more poignant “My Brilliant Friend” series, by Elena Ferrante, follows characters Lena and Lila from their early childhood all the way to their 60s, with protagonism shifting between the two friends as their lives take different paths throughout each book, despite Lena being the full-time narrator.

And then there are the more peculiar variations of the genre - such as Virginia Woolf’s “Orlando”, a mix of romance, history, semibiography and magical realism spanning 350 years in the life of main character Orlando; “Us”, by David Nicholls, which is not the fictional memoir of a person, but of a 25-year marriage that has come to an end; Khaled Hosseini’s “And the Mountains Echoed”, with each chapter conducted by a different character, covering 60 years of Afghan history; and, of course, “One Hundred Years of Solitude”, by Gabriel García Márquez, an unmatched family epic whose incredible metaphor of the cyclic nature of human beings continues to resonate two generations after it was first released.

No question has tormented our species harder than the meaning of existence. This might be part of our unconscious reason to seek biographies, real or not. We go looking for directions on how to live our lives - and leave with the comfortable (and true) realisation that no two people have ever walked the same path on Earth. More than that, we learn that plans change, goals evolve and, whilst time might not heal all wounds, it certainly makes them better. It makes us better.

[myloveforhergoeson]

ash's january 2024 reading round up

find all the books and fics i read this month under the cut with a link to the synopsis and my reviews/ratings attached :)

this is just for fun! i'm not a professional, i just like to read <3

book list!

1. Wreck the Halls by Tessa Bailey (18+!)

• review: i am a massive, massive, massive tessa bailey fan so it's no surprise that this was my favorite from this month and my first book of 2024! i received this christmas-themed rom-com as a holiday gift and i absolutely loved every second of it. the plot centers around the main couple, beat and melody (i know, right?!), who are the children of two bitter ex-bandmates, attempting to reunite their mothers' band on a live, 24 hour reality tv show! definitely one of the most unique concepts for a contemporary romance book i've read in quite some time! i loved following beat and melody's dual perspectives on both their past and their present as well as unraveling how difficult their family relationships were despite their fortuitous upbringings. the position of being the child of a famous individual can be quite isolating and even though beat didn't mind the spotlight and melody hated it, they're still some of the only people in the world who understood the other's struggles. the 24-hour live stream format was also very interesting to read from their perspectives - they were so funny both on and off camera! their mothers, trina and octavia were such dynamic characters as well; learning about their bitter rivalry through the perspectives of their children was so neat! between the two main characters, melody was my favorite. she was such a well rounded and dynamic character! my favorite chapters were all from her perspective. i could have gone without beat's weird overprotectiveness of her though - personal preference. i'm not too fond of characters like that and sometimes he took his protectiveness way too far for my liking! highly recommend for fans of campy rom-coms and those looking for a fresh take on the genre :)

• rating: 4/5 epic guitar solos !

2. My Life With the Walter Boys by Ali Novak

• review: very conflicted feelings on this one. if i hadn't watched the netflix adaptation first, i think i would have liked the book more... idk. like other published wattpad novels before it, the main character jackie is displaced from her perfect new york city girl life after a tragic accident leaves her an orphan, so what must she do? move to rural colorado to live with her mother's best friend and her 12 children. of which 11 are boys. oh no! there were parts of the book that i really enjoyed, like getting to see jackie bond with her new housemates and get used to the small town lifestyle and making new friends around her high school. the show cut out a good majority of her friends but i really liked them in the book! however, aside from jackie and her love triange between walter boys alex and cole, all the other characters were super underdeveloped and two dimensional, which made me yearn for some of the original plotlines developed for the show. i feel like making the main conflict center around a family of 14 and not really developing 12 of them is just a waste of time. and also, i didn't really vibe with jackie or alex in this version of the story. i'm still a proud member of team cole in the book and the tv show. i also wasn't fond of the ending personally... tldr, if you're interested in the plot synopsis i have linked, just skip the book and watch the show. which feels backward to say, but trust me ok!

• rating: 2/5 characters i liked in the book but got cut out of the show :)

3. The Deal by Elle Kennedy (18+!)

• review: ah. yes. like in all things. men like hockey. women love music. haha. my favorite thing about this book was the concept - i'm a real sucker for these contemporary hockey romance novels set in fake college towns with fake hockey teams and a book for each player and their love life... generally, i very much appreciate what elle kennedy was going for with this one. that being said. the male main character, garrett, was just an ass for more than half of the entire novel and the female main character, hannah, just let him walk over her for a good part of the beginning. usually i like fmc's in books like these, but she was just a bit boring to me... yikes. i did really enjoy how gattett and hannah's stories intertwined throughout the book, and even though garret was a persistent dick he sure loves hannah. i can respect that. in addition to the main two, i though their respective friend groups were interesting as well! the jocks and the theater kids coming together to unionize is always funny to me :) hannah and garrett's two worlds blending together into one was nice. i'm planning to pick up the sequel to see how that progresses as the shift moves to other players on the hockey team! if it's got a hockey player in it, good chance i'm gonna read it.

• potential trigger warnings if interested in reading: mentions of a past sexual assault on the female main character; mentions of past physical abuse on the male main character; mentions of current physical abuse on a side character

• rating: 3/5 times i had to google a hockey term while reading !

4. Wildfire by Hannah Grace (18+!)

• review: if you run in booktok spaces, you may have heard of Hannah grace's other novel, icebreaker. in my humblest opinion, this book deserved the hype icebreaker got! main characters russ and aurora were sooo dynamic and i absolutely loved their second chance romance while they were both camp counselors at a fancy summer camp! both of them having their own separate storylines that ended up converging was so well written and the two of them supporting each other unconditionally was so refreshing. the atmosphere of the camp and surrounding town were so adorable - i wish i could go there! plus all the sneaking around they had to do because of the camp counselor's no-fraternizing rule... mm. russ was so freaking sweet too - not enough sweet, kind, shy gues in these types of books. i also enjoyed aurora's confident, outgoing personality! the side characters were adorable as well and the cameos from characters in icebreaker had me screaming! ugh i love them and this book so freaking much!! highly highly recommend for fans of second chance romance or good books in general :)

• potential trigger warnings if interested in reading: gambling addiction struggles in a parent; parental neglect and verbal abuse on the male/female main character

• rating: 4/5 marshmallows to make the perfect cup of cocoa

fic list!

Goddamned (51100 words) by skyline

• fandom: big time rush (tv)

• pairings: kendall knight/james diamond, brief kendall knight/jett stetson, carlos garcia/logan mitchell

• i can't sing this fic's praises enough, one of the best i've read in a quite some time. a pjo/btr crossover is just what i needed in my life and i enjoyed every moment, every word, every twist and turn... so so so obsessed! the world building was so incredible and after i finished it i couldn't think about anything else for hours. i can't recommend this one enough :)) we all know i love a long fic and this one was just perfect

[thefanficmonster]

Unconditionally. Completely. Infinitely.

Corpse Husband x Pregnant!Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Five months in and Y/N is not having such a nice time with the tenant that’s living inside her. She loves the company and wouldn’t exchange it for the whole world, but all the disadvantages are getting more annoying with each passing day. No worries, she’s not tackling it alone. Her amazing boyfriend, soon to be fiancé has her back.

Requested by Anon. Thank you so much for you request! As I mentioned in the reply, this is my first time writing a pregnancy fic so if I got anything incorrectly I sincerely apologize. I did some research but I can’t be sure I got everything right. If there’s something you’re not happy with, feel free to let me know. I’d be more than happy to fix the fic to your liking. Hope you enjoy ❤❤❤

“How are you doing, babe?“ This is his third time checking up on me in the last forty minutes and it’s downright hilarious. Since I can’t drink, for obvious reasons, I shoot my group chat a quick text to take a shot every time Corpse drops by to make sure I haven’t chewed off my own arm in frustration.

I’ve been chilling with a bun in the oven for about five and a half months now and it feels like I’m climbing a mountain that never stops getting steeper. I’ve progressively gotten more passive aggressive and cranky as though I myself am a baby. I think I’d be more aggressive and less passive if I could stand on my two legs without the room spinning right round. If I do manage to stand up, my feet won’t let me remain in that position for too long. I’ve heard foot massages help but to me that sounds like hell - I don’t like massages and especially not foot massages. I’d appreciate it if no hands came in contact with them, thank you.

“Yeah, I’m good. Don’t worry about me, I’m not that helpless.“ I give him a reassuring thumbs up. “Go do something fun, babe. Heck, do it twice - one time on my behalf. I don’t want you stuck with me like this.“

I’ve been trying my hardest to be my regular cheery self around Corpse. He’s been nothing but sweet, supportive and loving since day one and he doesn’t deserve to see me during my low points where my frustration is through the roof. Sure, this was kind of an oopsie for the both of us, but I’ll never forget how happy he was when I told him.

“So, you say it’s mine, huh?“ He jokes like this every now and then, never failing to get a giggle out of me.

“I don’t leave the house, silly! Of course it’s yours.“ Is my usual response. And it’s true. I really don’t leave the house. I didn’t leave it before and I can’t leave it even if I wanted to now. The pregnancy is hitting me hard and I spend almost all my days in bed.

It’s not a pleasing sight and I try to spare Corpse as much as I can. I try not to ask for too much from him, or from anyone really. I know I can do most of the things, if not everything, on my own, so why bother my loved ones to have to deal with my messy self.

“I’m not stuck, Y/N. I want to be here.“ He sits down next to me, “Plus, playing video games without you isn’t fun.“

I automatically cuddle up to him when he gets settled on the bed, resting my head on his chest, “Aw I miss play with you. But right now all of my little bit of energy is concentrated on not falling over whenever I stand up.” I start absentmindedly tracing abstract patterns on his chest, “Who knew that in order to develop a human you lose the ability to function as human yourself? I feel like a whale washed up on land. Big, tired and sad.”

He snorts, restraining his laughter just in case it might piss me off. He’s such a sweetheart, but he should know it would take a lot for him to piss me off. Even in this state. “How can I help? I’d do anything, you just tell me what. Maybe a mass-...” I lift my head to give him the well known finish-that-sentence-I-dare-you glare. “Maybe not...”

Suddenly, I feel pressure on both my temples. It’s not yet pain, but I know it will get there soon. I cringe as I force myself to remove my hand from Corpse’s chest, reaching towards the nightstand where there’s always Advil and at least two small bottles of water. I swallow one pill and chase it with a long gulp of water, making a mental note to take another if the pain doesn’t go away in 30-40 minutes.

“You know how you can help me?“ I say, carefully adjusting my position so the both of us are comfortable, “Distract me. Talk to me. Tell me how you see the future with this misfit that’s already giving me headaches.“

He chuckles, the noise vibrating throughout his chest. I can hear the speed on his heartbeat change - it has quickened. I can only write that off as excitement when he speaks: “I don’t think the headaches will go away. I have a frightening feeling they’re just gonna get worse. A lot more sleeplessness, but a lot less vomiting. A lot more standing up and walking around. A lot more smiles and laughter. More of our friends at out house. Who am I kidding? Rae alone will invade the entire house just to spend time with the baby. You and I be damned.”

I find myself visualizing every detail he describes, all the pictures so vivid and so realistic. A smile spreads on my face as I let myself get transported into Corpse’s version of the future. To be honest, his version is almost the exact same as mine, “If she’s so occupied with the baby, maybe we’ll be able to dip out for a date night every now and then. We may be parents, but we’re not even in our mid-twenties yet.” I sigh, closing my eyes for a second, “I now regret not leaving the house more often while I could, you know?”

“Oddly enough, I do too. I feel like I haven’t taken you on enough proper dates. We didn’t seen enough of the world while we had zero responsibilities, it almost feels like it’s too late now.“

I frown, sitting up to be at eye level with him. I gently rest my hand on his cheek, making sure he doesn’t try to avoid eye contact. “Listen here: Fuck the date nights and fuck the responsibilities. I wouldn’t mind being stuck in a single room if you’re there with me.” I think for a second. Deciding not to make the conversation too serious, I add, “That is if we have food and water. Wouldn’t want you to turn into a cannibal on me.”

He smiles, “I’d never and you know it.” I’m aware his response refers to both halves of my statement, putting my mind at ease.

Having sent my message across and having it well received, I sink back down in my previous position. His hand travels to my hair, his fingers combing through it carefully and sweetly, giving me that feeling of being in a bubble of love and safety. His touch has the ability to calm me down, comfort me, encourage me. He is my guiding light through the fog that represents the confusion from all the pain and exhaustion I’ve been suffering through recently. I know those bad sensations will pass, but the power he has over me is forever.

Him and I are forever. Well, Him and I and a new addition in the next four months.

“I love you so much, Y/N.“ He whispers, cutting through the comfortable silence.

“I love you too, Corpse.“ I whisper back.

“I hope our baby is like you. I hope it’ll be smart like you. Talk like you, act like you, look like you.“ He trails of, his voice wavering.

“I hope it’ll sound like you.“ I say mischievously, hiding my smirk in the fabric of his shirt

He laughs, “Sure, unless it’s a girl.”

“Are you kidding me?“ I giggle, “Especially if it’s a girl.“

His laughter rings in my ears, reminding me there’s always gonna be something to hold onto when you’re in pain. Be it his laughter, his touch, the look in his eyes. I’ll always have him there to relieve my pain. To take my mind off all my troubles. To love me.

And for me to love him right back.

Unconditionally. Completely. Infinitely.

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis

[incorrectlumityquotes]

Why Amity fell for Luz: A Theory

Watching all the episodes of The Owl House and reviewing them brought back a lot of thoughts and feelings that I maybe forgot about. We all ship things and sometimes we do it for fun; sometimes for deeper reasons. I just started lumity because it reminded me of Diana & Akko from Little Witch Academia. I loved that show so much that I wanted more, and I thought it would be cool if Luz & Amity did something similar. I had no idea that it was going to go beyond that, so DAMN. To quote a talking science wolf, “For years we ask how, but we should ask why.” I mean, we saw how. But why? Well I can take a guess.

If we’re are going to start anywhere it’s going to be with the girl in question, Amity Blight.

As far as I know as of this typing, Amity Blight is a witchling from The Boiling Isles. She lives in Bonesboro at The Blight Manor estate with her parents and her siblings. She attends Hexside School of Magic and Demonics. Good for her.

Amity has an ambitious and competitive personality. She’s always striving to be better and be at the top of whatever she is doing. When she’s introduced in I Was a Teenage Abomination, she’s showing having great pride in being the top student in her abomination class. In Adventures in the Elements, she goes to The Knee in hopes of training to beat her siblings’ high score on the placement exam.

Amity also has a bit of a temper and gets annoyed easily. In I Was a Teenage Abomination, she sics her abominations on Willow and Luz just because she wasn’t named top student that day. In Enchanting Grom Fright, Amity snapped at the person she bumped into before realizing it was Luz. And later in the same episode, Amity beat up Hooty when he decided to get too close.

But she does have a soft sensitive side. She keeps a diary in her secret room in the library and even reads to kids in her free time. Amity also has a strong sense of integrity. She despises cheating (and cheaters) and feels guilt when she’s forced to break ties with Willow.

So why did someone like this fall for Luz of all people? (see above image)

Enter what I call my Shipping Theory of Compliments

The Shipping Theory of Compliments is that two characters would be shipped and sometimes canonically enter a romantic relationship based on their personalities complimenting each other and fulfilling elements they don’t have alone necessary to developing the character.

People like to use the image of a missing puzzle piece, but I don’t like that comparison because I think it’s a little inaccurate and I don’t like puzzles. Think of it more like the two pieces of the yin and yang coming together and then growing the circles of the opposite colors in them.

Something like that.

And it’s compliments, not opposites. When you think compliments, think more Star and Marco from Star vs the Forces of Evil. Star wants to go on a magical adventure. Marco also wants to go on a magic adventure. The difference is that Star goes in recklessly while Marco wants to plan it out a bit. They still have their adventure as oppose to Star’s opposite who wouldn’t want to go on a magical adventure. That sort of thing.

So how do Luz and Amity compliment each other?

Let’s start with that they have in common. Obvious stuff aside, they’re both training to become the best witches they can be. The difference comes that Luz is a human who has to learn magic via glyphs that she finds and Amity learns magic the “proper” way on The Boiling Isles. 

Luz and Amity are also both fans of The Good Witch Azura book series. Difference is that Luz is more open about her fandom while Amity tries to keep it a secret. Also petty thing but they’re both fan artists too, but I think Luz might be a better than Amity. But hey, her crosshatching is improving.

Luz and Amity are also (at the start of the series) both lonely people. Luz’s mom says that she doesn’t have any friends, and Amity doesn’t like her “friends.” The difference is that Luz reaches outward to ease her loneliness (being social and friendly, trying new things, etc.) while Amity reaches inward (keeping a diary, staying busy, having a secret spot, etc.). They both also use escapist fiction to ease their loneliness.

That’s all well and good, but now we get into the real speculative parts. 

...complimenting each other and fulfilling elements they don’t have alone necessary to developing the character.

When I was taking acting classes I was taught that the way you see people act is a persona based on their experiences on what it takes to survive and avoid physical, emotional and social death. So now we have to speculate based on what we were given on what emotional/social needs and wants has Amity not been getting before that she has with Luz.

First let me point you to another show called F is for Family. F is for Family is an adult animated sitcom on Netflix that follows a very dysfunctional family in the 1970s. These are legitimately bad characters, not in terms of being poorly written. What I’m saying is that these guys are assholes. But here’s where it gets interesting.

One of the characters is Kevin Murphy, the teenage son of the family. He’s a dim-witted wannabe rockstar who is always yelled at and put down by his parents throughout the entire series. However in season four Kevin meets Alice. Alice teaches Kevin that his favorite band is a big reference to Tolkien and gives him a copy of The Hobbit. They bond over their love of Lord of the Rings and get along really well. Alice calls him smart for being able to read all of Lord of the Rings over a few days and never puts him down. Even in the one time they did fight she never yelled at him or raised her voice which he found weird because he’s so used to being yelled at. Alice gave Kevin the emotional support he always wanted but never got from his family.

Using that as a backdrop, let’s go back to Amity.

Amity grew up with her parents making her do things she didn’t want to do, making choices for her. Amity wanted to be one way. Her parents wanted something else. Amity’s mother even dyes Amity’s hair green so it matches her siblings. Amity wanted to be friends with Willow. Amity’s parents wanted her to be friends with the mean kids. While Amity does work hard to be the best at what she’s doing, her parents also put pressure on her to make sure that she is at that level. 

Her siblings are another bag of awful. They constantly refer to her by an annoying nickname that I’m guessing has an embarrassing moment attached to it. They seem to live by a double standard that Amity despises. She has to work hard and follow the rules just to be accepted while they are naturally talented and break the rules with everyone still thinking that they’re perfect. 

Family is supposed to provide unconditional love except it looks like the love of the Blights is based on conditions. Nobody just likes Amity for who she is. She doesn’t have a friend.

Enter: the friendliest person she’s ever met

Amity has to struggle and work for the simplest things, even affection. Except when it comes to Luz. Luz is naturally friendly and positive. Amity doesn’t have to earn her kindness. Even when she’s bullied Luz before, Luz is always coming back with a smile. I suppose when you live life surrounded by jerks, you’ll want to hang out with the one person who’s always nice to you. Sort of.

Yes, Amity did think Luz was a bully for constantly getting her into trouble. But even at Covention and Lost in Language, Luz kept reaching out to her. This combined with Amity’s awareness of her own behavior is what convinced her to try to reach out in kind to Luz by the end of Lost in Language. “She’s trying to be nice to me, so I should try too,” I’m guessing is the mindset especially in Adventures in the Elements. And then...Luz continued to be nice to her which is kind of a big deal for Amity.

Let’s tally up what we have so far:

Luz and Amity have similar interests (The Good Witch Azura series, art, fiction, learning magic)

Luz and Amity have similar values (work ethic, disdain for cheating, protecting those closest to you, etc.)

Luz gives Amity the positivity and affection that Amity doesn’t normally get anywhere else

They still have differing personalities with Amity being more competitive and Luz having more of a live-and-let-live attitude.

Even with all these things in mind, why was Amity so scared to ask Luz to Grom?

Speculating again but my theory is that Amity wasn’t sure if Luz actually liked her or if Luz is just friendly because that’s how Luz is. Amity was scared of being rejected because she felt that maybe she was just reading the situation wrong. Luz is this ray of sunshine in her gray skies (if you’ll forgive the cliché). People like Amity always think of all the worst possibilities (I know because I do this too). Amity was probably thinking a bunch of what ifs. “What if Luz doesn’t actually like me? What if she’s just being friendly because she feels sorry for me? What if she has feelings for someone else? What if she never actually liked me? What if she’s straight?”

Luz is Amity’s first crush and it is scary as all hell to put yourself out there like that for the first time. She wasn’t expecting to get married at Grom night. She just wanted to dance with the girl she liked.

The dance at Grom was like confirmation for her that it could happen. Amity didn’t have to ask out Luz because Luz asked her. Being with Luz isn’t a pipedream. It’s a definite possibility. And we all know how she reacted to that idea.

Uh...she’ll be in her bunk.

While Luz and Amity aren’t together as of this typing, I believe it’s bound to happen. Until then, after The Lumity Trilogy, Amity knows that Luz is the girl she likes. 

tl;dr version

Amity fell for Luz because they have similar interests and values, their personalities differ in a compatible way and Luz provides Amity emotional needs and wants that she doesn’t get anywhere else.

Also, round eared girl pretty.

.

Thanks everyone for reading.

[thedisguisedaltruism]

fond stares, vast place, loud heartbeats

genre: fluff, best friends to lovers, concert au

pairing: wonwoo/gn reader

summary: wonwoo hates the crowds, but he has to save up all his energy since you’re taking him as your concert buddy for taylor swift’s 1989 tour. little did he know, he will soon realize that he was actually in love with you, thanks to taylor and her wicked songwriting.

word count: 2,192

a/n: dumping this shit because too much feels for you are in love live :((

2015

“Wons, turn it up, turn it up!”

Wonwoo couldn’t help but snort from your excitement to see your longtime idol live. You worked hard to save enough so you could see Taylor Swift since then, and now you’re about to witness your turning point in life.

...together with your best friend, not to mention how he loathes crowds.

I Know Places is currently playing on the car stereo and you're warming up as you hit the high note in the chorus, dramatically pressing your chest with eyes shut. Wonwoo takes his final turn as you finally arrive at the stadium.

"Missed the note there, my friend." He teases. You could care less from his assed remarks because your mind's been in euphoria since you woke up from a power nap a few hours ago.

Outside the venue has already gathered a big crowd, and you patiently wait for your best friend who's double-checking the doors if they're surely closed.

Wonwoo has been your best friend for five years, and being grateful to have him is an understatement as he has witnessed your ups and downs in college. He knows that apart from your family and him, Taylor and her music has already played such a great role from adolescence until adulthood.

As a sucker for books, Wonwoo was undoubtedly impressed by Taylor's songwriting prowess since he listens to your discussions during the free time about the lyric analyses that you read across the internet, and you usually play her live performances whenever you pull off all-nighters that's why he agreed to be your concert buddy because he wants to see the person who could give rainbows to the person he likes.

Yes. The person he likes.

Wonwoo thought being in a Taylor Swift concert is not bad at all. It's like having a big crowd of best friends gathering in one huge place to have fun with their most talented best friend. Everyone's perfectly singing along to every lyric, breathing to each punctuation, and screaming at the top of their lungs.

Honestly speaking, he was having fun, and boy, he could sing along to a few songs while waving with his light-up bracelet. 

Aside from being fascinated by the live performances, he would sometimes steal glances at you, making him amused by your kaleidoscope of emotions you've shown from the past eight performances. Sometimes you'd turn to him just to sing while holding your chest, and go back to screaming how much you love Taylor Swift.

After the succeeding crowd-jumping performances, Taylor comes out with her black Gibson acoustic guitar to perform an acoustic version of her song just like the old days. The crowd has once again roared, and you scoot close to Wonwoo to whisper that Taylor's going to sing your favorite song from 1989.

He knows the story behind it. You told him on your graduating year at the rooftop of your college building while chugging an energy drink just to keep yourself awake from pulling off an all-nighter for your thesis, it was about Taylor’s known actress friend falling in love with her producer on this album—someone with the name Jack—if he could still guess correctly.

Taylor has already ascended for a clearer sight of crowds from the top seats, instructing everyone to sing back the specific words. Wonwoo watches you hugging yourself while craning your neck so you could see Taylor from above.

One look, dark room

Meant just for you

Time moved too fast

You play it back

Buttons on a coat

Light-hearted joke

No proof, not much

But you saw enough

  You and Wonwoo first met at the same elective during college freshman year. You were sitting near the door, sparing the next seat with your bag since someone from your class politely asked you to but unfortunately, she never came back and it was perfectly timed that Wonwoo immediately spotted the vacant seat beside you, exhausted from running before he gets late (yes, in a goddamn first day of class). 

  He learned that you’re taking up creative writing that’s why said elective was important for your course. He told you that he was taking up computer science, but he still needs to take the elective.

  ...and then, your friendship started.

  You have friends, but they’re few for your liking because socializing is exhausting. Wonwoo, on the other hand, despised being exhausted around people and that’s the reason why both of you became friends quickly. Reading was Wonwoo’s stress escape and yours was binge-watching k-dramas and reality shows.

  You can hear it in the silence, silence, you

You can feel it on the way home, way home, you

You can see it with the lights out, lights out

You are in love, true love

You are in love

  Since both of you chose to live in dormitories at college, sometimes you’d walk together around the university park late at night and talk about stuff happening in your life outside academics. One time, you told him how you’re pissed at your family’s insights about coming out since they happened to share once about how your cousin came out at a family gathering and the next moment, he was already in the hot seat. You told Wonwoo that you wished you were there to end all of your religious hypocrite relatives.

  Wonwoo, within the years of friendship, was never the type to initiate a conversation, but he’s an excellent listener. He could watch you talk about Taylor Swift, the perennial hate for your Major professor who’s academia-obsessed since she sets a standard too high for her liking while her class is on the brink of dropping out, and how you were fascinated about him staying up all night for computer games and still ace programming exams.

  Suddenly, the crowd started to roar out of the blue, making him shake his head from spacing out. Still standing, much to his surprise since he hates getting tired, he realized that he’s just watching you being helplessly in awe at Taylor Swift no matter how neck-stiffening it is, how your eyes sparkled with bliss just like the days when you talk with him about the things you love.

  And then he felt the pace of his heartbeat quickened.

  The crowd was already singing along with excitement—he has no idea what kind of reason it is—but he remains watching you like you were excruciatingly hard to reach, despite how you could hear his loud heartbeat if this was an empty place.

  One night he wakes

Strange look on his face

Pauses, then says “You're my best friend”

And you knew what it was

He is in love

  You screamed you’re my best friend at the top of your lungs together with other sixty thousand people at Taylor despite how your best friend, who’s silently watching beside you, couldn’t calm himself down unnoticed.

  You can hear it in the silence, silence, you

You can feel it on the way home, way home, you

You can see it with the lights out, lights out

You are in love, true love

  Suddenly, you turn to Wonwoo as Taylor does her guitar break before singing the bridge, and you were surprised to see him just staring at you instead of watching Taylor from up above and tell you how skilled she was at playing guitar. The way he’s looking at you wasn’t even judging, teasing, or the usual antics that he does.

  He’s just looking at you fondly and you thought maybe, he’s extremely happy that you get to see your longtime idol live after all these years and you deserved it so much.

  ...except that your tentative guess is incorrect.

  “She’s really good, isn’t she?” you yelled at him proudly while pointing at Taylor with emphasis.

  Your best friend could only nod and gesture at you to look back on your idol.

  And so it goes

You two are dancing in a snow globe, 'round and 'round

And he keeps the picture of you in his office downtown

And you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars

And why I've spent my whole life tryin' to put it into words

  That made Wonwoo look up to Taylor Swift in an instant and judged her as he could so. As Taylor stopped, the crowd screamed once again, but nothing is deafening as his heartbeat while watching you cheer in chorus.

  He didn’t know if he should feel betrayed, because you were his partner during graduation ball and you were just having the best time of your lives because fuck it, despite being anxious about what’s to come after the graduation, both of you were so happy to have been able to survive despite the shit hole life your university has given.

  He also happened to frame a picture of you in his office peacefully sitting beside the stacks of scratch papers for software development. He secretly requested for its original copy at the official student publication of your university during that one major event as he saw it on Facebook.

  He realized that he’s in love with you after all this time.

  Much to his misfortune, you suddenly looked at him again and your eyes met that he couldn’t look away, but this time it was replaced with worry. You caught him twice, and knowing Wonwoo, he’s not usually vocal when it comes to express his discomfort.

  You gently hold Wonwoo’s hand. “Are you having a bad feeling? We could go out if you want to,” you whispered just audible enough for him to hear.

  And that’s how he lost it. 

  It took him another deep breath to sink in that you chose his well-being over your once-in-a-lifetime moment with your idol.

  Like… holy shit, he was so lucky to have you in his life and he thought this time, he wants to step out of his shell and gather the courage to tell you how much you mean to his life. He’s had enough secretly pining over you for years.

  But first, he wants you to be happy and enjoy your time with Taylor. He shakes his head no and holds your shoulders to turn to Taylor who’s now descending for the next performance.

                   ��  “I can’t believe she’s real, what the hell, she was fucking real, Wonwoo.” you sighed. “Oh my god.”

  You couldn’t stop wiping your face after spacing out which made Wonwoo chuckle. After the concert and almost a painful hour of waiting to get out of the stadium, you mutually agreed to stop by the nearest convenience store.

  Although you only bought a coffee and went back inside Wonwoo’s car.

  “Me too.” Wonwoo whispers. That made you remember what happened during You Are In Love performance. You looked at him and tapped his shoulder.

  “You looked unwell this evening. Were you honestly okay, Wons?” you ask.

  He only blinked in response.

  It took Wonwoo a few seconds to gather up his courage. Now that it’s only the two of you alone, he thought he must let it out.

  “Yeah, I was just overwhelmed. You don’t have to worry.” he jokes, his attention remained at the store. He could see from his peripherals how your eyebrows furrowed, obviously not convinced enough by his excuse.

  “What you told me about Taylor the first time you introduced her to me was...true,” he sighed deeply. “She sings what we couldn’t put into words.”

  For someone like Wonwoo whose eloquence is something to look up to, you were confused by what he meant.

  Wonwoo turns to face you and takes your icy palms to wrap them with his large, slender, and warm ones. 

  “I love you.” He says, straightly looking into your eyes.

  Your eyes widen in surprise.

  “Please don’t joke around!” You hit his shoulder, but all he does is let out a burst of breathy laughter.

  But honestly, your heart skipped a beat after hearing his sudden confession.

  Tracing circles on your hand, Wonwoo smiles at your bewildered expression. “You were wondering if I was having a bad time? No, it’s all Taylor’s fault for making me confess to you tonight. That took me a long time I guess.”

  “Wait, what?”

  “I love you and Taylor made me realize that I should confess before it gets too late.”

  You looked up at Wonwoo while pulling your hand from his gentle hold and laughed. It was unbelievable how both of you have been painfully oblivious despite being helplessly pining towards each other.

  It was your best friend’s turn to get puzzled so you took the time advantage to confess.

  “Idiot, I liked you too, ever since we first met.” sounding bashful, you looked away hoping that you didn’t sound like an idiot. So much irony for making fun of your best friend a few moments ago. “I have no idea that you felt deeper than I thought I have.”

  Even if you already knew how Wonwoo’s mind works for five years, he is always full of surprises.

  Or maybe he was so happy tonight that he kissed your hand and never let go of it as he started driving you home.

[lumilasi]

Surprise ask game! Pick your 5 favorite blorbos from your shows (or your own, or both!) And list 5 random facts/things you like about each! Tag or send this to 5 other ppl and spread the joy of rambling about things you love!!!

Ohh, since I can do both, I'll do both.

Show Blorbos

Tomura (bnha)

He didn't start as my fave, but dethroned Aizawa insanely fast lmao

I love how his design tells a tragic/disturbing story on its own, no words needed

I want to fluff his hair, no matter the color or length

I don't need a ref anymore, I've drawn him sooo many times by now

I hate that my fave's design included shit ton of hands, thy are a pain to draw lol

Grimmjow (bleach)

I love how his colors are essentially the inversed versions of the protag. Ichigo.

I love how his personality ALSO shares similarities with Ichigo. He feels much more of a special rival to berry boy than anyone else

He survives to the end of the story and even sorta turns into more of a antihero. Ichigo even starts treating him like one of his friends, whenever Grimm realizes/likes it or not lol

CAT.

BIG CAT

Rukia (bleach)

She's actually a very well written shonen female protagonist

She feels like a person & is allowed to be both ridiculous/awkward AND cool & competent, have moments of self doubt as well as confidence based on her own abilities, and these are just couple of things I like about her writing. Basically, again, to summarize, she feels like a proper, well rounded person which I find kinda rare with shonen girls.

Her drawings crack me up

Her Bankai is super pretty...and cool (pun intended lol)

she's my all time fave manga woman (so far)

Death the Kid (Soul Eater)

He's funny as hell

He's also cool as hell

I love his dynamics with his friends

I like his design

I found it actually pretty interesting how his comedy gag actually is quite central to his character, beyond being funny. It has a story reason behind it and is tied to his character development in a sense (as far as I remember, been a while I read SE)

Himiko (bnha)

The best written girl of bnha imo (tho could be better still)

While I complain about it, I actually like her hair!

Writing her as the lil sister character is fun

I like how she's actually considered one of the most dangerous ones, not due to brute force, but intelligence, survival skills, etc.

I still feel like we haven't truly heard her story yet, since what we did get wasn't from her perspective...

Mind Blorbos

Jurou

I have two versions of him now, the main difference between them being the setting they live in (and one being a protagonist while other is a side character) One lives in a modern setting, other more traditional/fantasy type

His voice claim is the same guy who voices AFO (japanese va)

His modern AU version is grumpier due to his different story. He's still a DILF in both tho lol (according to my friend, I regret teaching her that term lol)

In the fantasy version, Hitomi is adopted, in the modern AU, Hitomi is his biological daughter

He was difficult to design but once I got it down, he quickly became one of my faves

Konjou

He's my second fave, his design just sort of sticks to my brain better than anyone elses I've made?

He can even turn his hair to vines eventually, as well as create different types of vines instead of just spiky thorns

His voice claim ended up being Kankuro's japanese VA from Naruto lol

His and Jinchou's dynamic is the ultimate Himbo x Gremlin tsundere thing lol

He has a nephew and niece later on through his half brother Yaguro/Asahi, and the baby niece especially likes to glomp his face as a greeting lol

Chouma

His relationship with lil Youko is my favorite thing with him

Chouma's voice claim is Dabi's VA essentially

I haven't yet figured out his full backstory, which is rare for me OTL

He will have a modern AU version whose bf will be another character instead of Angus, as their dynamic wont work in a different kind of story setting (and he deserves a proper bf lol)

Chouma often uses his wings as a blanket cape

Yume

One of my fave girls, I enjoy her strong willed, temperamental & lil grumpy personality

I still dunno exactly how her outfit works at the back lol, need to figure that out

She's an excellent archer, and a shadow bow is her main weaponry she tends to form from her magic

Her favorite nap spot is Yaguro's back fluff

She's demiromantic pan, this is something I only recently realized makes the most sense for her lol

Aand finally....Toshiko

Her personality is probably closest to my own while not an exact match, and I did not make her that way consciously lol

She enjoys seafood the most, and pork the least

She's awkward around kids and doesn't want to be a mom ever, but still tries her best to be a good role model to those kids who do look up to her (specifically Jurou's kid Hitomi)

She's the one with braincells among her friend group (namely her, Claude, Caelan and her bf Raitei)

Her and her sister Akiko are opposites in almost every way possible, but she still doesn't mind spending time with her

Idk who to tag, maybe I'll send this to someone else, but for now its an open tag!

[100hearteyes]

Clexaweek 2021: Day 3 - Reunited (a summary)

Several months after Praimfaya, Clarke is roaming the now deserted Earth without a destination. All her friends on the spaceship actually died (ship exploded after take-off); there’s no Madi either. So she’s roaming the desert when a portal opens and out comes.... her doppelganger.

After a less than warm introduction, because it’s Clarke (and there’s two of them now), Clarke 2 tells Clarke that they don’t just look alike — she’s her but from another world and her name is Ruby. And she makes her an offer (mind you, Clarke is desperate and 100% she is going to die sooner or later): trade places with her. Ruby will stay in the desert, where she actually has the tools to survive, and Clarke can take her place in her own world.

Clarke’s like 🤔 a chance to actually live a life 🤔 know what could’ve been in a different world 🤔 well what the hell, I’ll take it. So Ruby hands Clarke an object that allows her to travel ONCE to another world and they part ways — Ruby stays in our Earth, whereas our Clarke goes to that other world.

Clarke lands in a 16th century style palace bedroom. She barely has time to collect her bearings when the door opens and---

---in full 16th century noble garb, looking heartbroken, when she suddenly sees Clarke and... she nearly faints.

Sixteenth century Lexa goes totally neurotic because her Clarke just died so who is this imposter??? And she knocks Clarke down and is about to kill her (as if she could bring herself to do it) when the door slams open and---

Yes. Another one 👀 two Lexas. Clarke’s lil bi heart can’t take this.

This one is dressed completely different, a lot more sci-fi, almost like a modern deity. And she just comes in and MIB’s the first Lexa and Clarke is like WTF IS GOING ON HERE??? But also-- LEXA????

This Lexa, we’ll just call her Lexa for the sake of both our collective sanity and the story because Lexa is you-know-what, helps Clarke up and asks her to come with her, to which Clarke is like lol no, explain first. But Lexa’s all like annoyed eye roll and look we don’t have time, I promise I’ll explain everything if you come with me. She also assures Clarke that 16th century Lexa will be fine, she just won’t remember what happened.

Anyway, Clarke goes with her and they enter a sort of palace/tower in the middle of space or like in a rift between worlds. There’s a big room there with an oval/round table, which is basically a database for every single Clarke and Lexa in existence. The building is called The Observatory.

Lexa explains that there is a multitude of universes and timelines where the two of them exist. A lot of their iterations have different names, but sometimes they’re called Clarke and Lexa. Those are like their “purest” versions.

So, yes. They’re soulmates. Obviously.

And there is always a Clarke-Clarke or a Lexa-Lexa watching over all of them, making sure everything runs smoothly. Which is what Lexa does. When an Observer dies (time passes normally for them) another takes her place.

Basically, in this AU, every Clexa fic that’s ever been or ever will be written is canon.

Anyway, Lexa tells her tat the Lexa-Lexa or Clarke-Clarke that becomes the Observer is one who has passed away too soon. And Clarke is like 👀👀👀 so are you MY- but Lexa shuts that idea down very quickly.

So what happened to this rogue Clarke? A Clarke aka Ruby has been killing other Clarkes for a while but Lexa has no idea why and she also doesn’t know WHICH version of Clarke she is. There’s millions, billions of their iterations.

She killed 16th century Clarke (whose name wasn’t Clarke), too.

And why can’t Lexa just go after her in Clarke’s world? Because while you can detect anomalies (like a live Clarke in a dead Clarke’s world) you can only locate Clarkes or Lexas if you know WHO they are. Also, the Observer can’t stay in any world for longer than two weeks.

Clarke asks Lexa why she didn’t just go back to her world after being sort of brought back to life. Lexa explains she’s only allowed a short total amount of time in her original world and she already used some of it a long time ago when she went back to help her soulmate when no one else would. Clarke, remembering how her Lexa showed up in the City of Light to help her, says it must have killed Lexa’s Clarke to lose her a second time. Lexa says it was just as painful for her.

And she can’t stay on HER original world for longer than a day — otherwise she dies/disintegrates (and another Observer will take her place.

Clarkes and Lexas are supposed to live out their lives without outside interference. In some worlds they know about soulmates, in others they don’t, bu they need to live in their own worlds and timelines. The Observer observes — everything else is considered tampering with how things are supposed to be. So the time limit rule is meant to keep her from influencing other Clarkes and Lexas and from going back to her own world.

So Lexa can’t just jump into Clarke’s world going after Ruby because it might take too long to find her.

Still, they have a name now, thanks to Clarke — Ruby. So they look it up... Only to find out there’s like a thousand Rubys. Obviously they can’t find a ruby needle in a haystack so they try to understand why Ruby would go on a soulmate killing spree. Clarke and Lexa start visiting every world and BONDING and shit.

There’s also some soul searching on Clarke’s behalf because she’s struggling between being sad about Lexa but also mad because once again she was left behind. And Observer Lexa helps her sort through all those feelings, and our Clarke starts maybe developing some feely feels for this Lexa but also feels GUILTY.

And this one time there’s something Lexa says that makes the lightbulb go off in Clarke’s head.

What if Ruby never had a soulmate?

What if there was never someone meant for her in the first place?

Lexa counters with the fact that several iterations of them never even get together, that being someone’s soulmate isn’t binding — there’s still a choice. But, Clarke says — how heartbreaking would it be to never have a choice at all?

You can never make the wrong choice or the right choice. You can never change your mind. And it’s heartbreaking to have that choice ripped away from you.

That’s Ruby. She never had a choice. And, as they find out eventually, she comes from a world where soulmates are a pretty big deal. Upon finding out by accident that there are billions of Clarkes in millions of other worlds who have a Lexa, while she — sue to some crazy glitch of the universes — had that choice taken away from her, her excruciating pain turned into something ugly. And she decided to start killing Clarkes, so Lexas all around other worlds would feel HER pain.

And that’s how Clarke and Lexa realize what was missing: the numbers didn’t add up. The sum of Rubys with living and dead soulmates didn’t match the total number of Rubys — because there was one whose soulmate was neither dead or alive. She never existed in the first place.

So they manage to filter out all the other Rubys and find the right one. Lexa’s intention is to stun and arrest her, but Clarke is a little more practical and just takes a gun.

Before they go, though, Clarke and Lexa have a heart to heart.

At this point, their feelings for each other are too strong to ignore. So before they go, Lexa asks larke to stay with her in the Observatory even after they catch Ruby. Clarke wants to, but she also feels guilty because she’s falling in love with THIS Lexa and it feels like a betrayal of HER Lexa. And she feels like she owes it to HER Lexa to make an effort to survive and build something in their world. So she tells Observer Lexa she can’t, because she can’t run away again like she did when Ruby came to her. She HAS to build humanity back up in her world. She HAS to survive.

And that’s when Lexa — nervous, tentative Lexa — asks:

“Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don’t we deserve better than that?”

So, yes. It’s Lexa 😌

(If you think about it - I didn’t mention it but - she knew which Clarke Clarke is right away. She didn’t ask, the Obervatory didn’t tell her. She just knew who Clarke was. Because Clarke has that scar on her forehead from when Emerson attacked her. And the moment she saw it — she KNEW.)

Lexa didn’t say it before because she knew Clarke would want to stay with her but she didn’t know if there would be any consequences. And if there were and it turned out to be impossible for Clarke to stay, then the heartbreak would have been all the greater, because they’d be losing each other a fourth time.

Anyway, Clexa reconnect and everything is beautiful but they still have a murderous soulmate to catch.

They teleport themselves to a spot close to Ruby. Some fighting ensues, Clarke loses her gun, which ends up in Lexa’s hands, and Ruby ends up pointing her own at Clarke’s pretty head. And Lexa has a double reason not to dire that gun: one, she’s still a grounder and grounders don’t touch Mountain Men weapons; two, she’d be shooting a Clarke for all intents and purposes.

Ruby taunts Lexa about not being able to shoot her, pokes the bear a few times about how she’ll have so much fun killing Clarke — You wouldn’t mind, would you? After all, it’s just another one in a billion —, yada yada.

And then Lexa actually shoots.

And Ruby dies and Clarke runs to Lexa’s arms and Lexa is like, I thought I was over the violence, and Clarke pulls her to meet her eyes: We are now.

Clarke and Lexa go back to the Observatory and Clarke asks if it’s actually safe being there, if she or Lexa won’t be harmed for it. And Lexa tells her she’d been thinking about how everything happens for a reason and maybe, just maybe — maybe this WAS always meant to be their second chance.

(Or third. Or fourth.)

So they stay there and live out their days together traveling between worlds and making a home for themselves in the Observatory. Their maybe someday has arrived at last; they owe nothing more to their people.

[summersun4youforever]

✨ Tag 9 people to learn more about their interests!

tagged by my fav @loulovehome thank you pu hope that this quells your curiosity! 

MUSIC

fav genre? not to be that person but i think i have a toe in most genres, i suppose my favorites have got to be anything taylor swift does, pop punk, r&b pop/new age r&b, and bluegrass

fav artist? again, not to be that person but i love so many artists! let’s do this based off of genre: taylor swift, 1D, 5sos, massive focus on ZAYN, the Avett brothers, and counting crows

fav song? fav song of all time (since i was young) is going to be come around by rhett miller but more currently i’d say you are in love by taylor swift and dRuNk by ZAYN

song currently stuck in your head? i have no idea how it got there but i have stressed out by 21 pilots stuck in my head??

5 fav lyrics? ok let’s do this kids. edit: this went in a “fav love song lyrics” way so sorry in advance.

1)  I hope that I don't sound to insane when I say / There is darkness all around us / I don't feel weak but I do need sometimes for her to protect me / And reconnect me to the beauty that I'm missin' (January Wedding - The Avett Brothers)

2)  Hands around my waist / You're counting up the hills across the sheets / And I'm a falling star / A glimmer lighting up these cotton streets / I admit I'm a bit of a fool for playing by the rules / But I've found my sweet escape when I'm alone with you (Disconnected - 5sos)

3)  This is the worthwhile fight / Love is a ruthless game / Unless you play it good and right / These are the hands of fate / You're my Achilles heel / This is the golden age of something good / And right and real (State of Grace - Taylor Swift) 

4)  What if I changed my mind / What if I said it's over / I been flying so long / Can't remember what it was like to be sober / What if I lost my lives? / What if I said "Game over"? / What if I forget my lies? / And I lose all my composure (Back to Life - ZAYN)

5)   I never said I was perfect / Or you don't deserve a good person to carry your baggage / I know a few girls that can handle it / I ain't that kind of chick, but I can call 'em for you if you want / I never said that you wasn't attractive / Your style and that beard, ooh, don't get me distracted / I'm tryna be patient, and patience takes practice / The fact is I'm leaving, so just let me have this (Jerome - Lizzo)

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie | loud or silent volume I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on

BOOKS

fav book genre? murder mystery and young love!

fav writer? jane austen, lisa jewell, and rick riordan (nostalgia ok?!)

fav book? the way i used to be my amber smith, rebecca by daphane du maurier, and then she was gone OR watching you (both by Lisa Jewell)

fav book series? i guess the whole percy jackson situations? i have everything RR every wrote, and i liked it all but i havent touched the older ones in ages

comfort book? not one specifically but the nancy drew books

perfect book to read on a rainy day? bird summons by leila aboulela

5 quotes from your fav book that you know by heart? i hope i can name five...

1)  “The point is, life has to be endured, and lived. But how to live it is the problem.” “I am no traveller, you are my world.” (both are My Cousin Rachel by Daphne Du Maurier)

2)  “And I’m terrified he’ll see through the tough iceberg layer, and he’ll discover not a soft, sweet girl, but an ugly fucking disaster underneath.” (The Way I Used to Be by Amber Smith)

3)  "I cannot make speeches, Emma," he soon resumed; and in a tone of such sincere, decided, intelligible tenderness as was tolerably convincing. "If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it. Bear with the truths I would tell you now, dearest Emma, as well as you have borne with them. The manner, perhaps, may have as little to recommend them. God knows, I have been a very indifferent lover. But you understand me. Yes, you see, you understand my feelings and will return them if you can. At present, I ask only to hear, once to hear your voice.” (Emma by Jane Austen) (sorry for the length, the shortened versions were not cutting it for me)

4)  “Read, read, read. That's all I can say.” (The Secret of the Old Clock by Carolyn Keene)

5)  “...amazing how boring you can get away with being when you’re pretty. No one seems to notice. When you’re pretty everyone just assumes you must have a great life. People are so short-sighted, sometimes. People are so stupid. I have a dark past and I have dark thoughts. I do dark things and I scare myself sometimes.” (Invisible Girl by Lisa Jewell)

hardcover or paperback | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending first | reliable or unreliable narrator | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary (im a very judgmental reader) | rereading or reading just once

TV AND MOVIES

fav tv/movie genre? i like dramedies, mockumentaries, and procedurals 

fav movie? ive got a massive list on my phone but ill pick Doob (No Bed of Roses) and 3-Iron as my favs for today

comfort movie? 2000s romcoms, im talking clueless, 13 going on 30, how to loe a guy in ten days, ten things i hate abt you, legally blonde

movie you watch every year? mamma mia and all listed in prev question

fav tv show? too many, currently im rewatching arrested development

comfort tv show? new girl

most rewatched tv show? new girl

ultimate otp? shawn and jules from psych (ultimate bc ive been watching since diapers literally)

5 fav characters? winston bishop, stiles stilinski, bellamy blake, clarke griffin, lydia martin

tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging | one season or multiple seasons | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once | downloads or watches online

super fun even though it took me an hour lmao, I'm tagging @technosoot @hometothecanyonmoon @sassylilnoodle @sushiniall @rosegold-thorns no pressure and sorry if youve already been tagged!

edit: i somehow managed to forget what i consider to be one of the greatest opening verses ever???? so bonus lyrics:

Step out the front door like a ghost into the fog / Where no one notices the contrast of white on white / And in between the moon and you / The angels get a better view / Of the crumbling difference between wrong and right (Round Here - Counting Crows)

[pterodactylterrace]

Beautiful

Title: Beautiful

Chapter: 1/1

Summary: I'll take just a moment with you, rather than a lifetime without.

Rating: T

Warnings: Drinking, fluff, death, pregnancy. Definitely not my greatest work, but it makes me feel some kinda way, so I thought I’d share anyway. 

When his Ma used to tell him about when she first met his Pop, Syverson always thought it was a dramatic, romanticized version of events. How could you possibly know someone is right for you the second you meet them? You need time to get to know them, to see if you can tolerate living with all the fucked up parts of them before you decide they're the one you'll stick with for the rest of your life.

Now though, his blue eyes catching on a pair of green ones from across the bar, Syverson was beginning to think she may have been onto something. Something about that girl felt... right. A little voice in the back of his mind told him 'yup, she's the one we're gonna marry'.

Being a little old fashioned, he'd asked her for a dance, clumsily moving to some sort of made up rhythm that most definitely wasn't the song that was playing. Her laugh. Oh God her laugh. He swore his heart beat to the sound of her laughter, so pure and carefree. It was a sound he wanted to keep hearing for as long as he could.

He'd spent most of his night with her after that. They shared many rounds and found themselves lost in conversation. Before either one knew it, it was last call. Syverson offered to walk her home, willing to do almost anything to prolong his time with her. After all, he never knew when he would see her again.

They had barely gotten out of the bar when she'd stumbled off to the bushes, violently throwing up the last several rounds of drinks. Syverson dutifully held her long brunette strands from her face, his large hand gently rubbing her back, his callouses catching on the soft material of her dress.

In spite of that, he'd still managed to get her number. He didn't bother waiting the 'required' three days before calling. Games were for boys, and he wasn't about to waste time he could be spending with her. They had their first official date later on that week. Syverson broke out his 'good' shirt and everything, no matter how ridiculous he felt in it. Dress clothes and Syverson just didn't mix, but he couldn't just take a pretty girl like her out wearing one of his usual t-shirts.

She'd been delighted by the flowers he'd bought her on their first date. Surprised when he got more for their second, and downright shocked when he continued the tradition for their third. For some reason, he absolutely refused to show up at her door without flowers for her. The first one had been from a store. She could tell from the cellophane wrapping. The other two, she suspected he picked himself. The image of such a burly man delicately trying to pick flowers was both silly, and endearing.

She'd been reluctant when Syverson mentioned wanting to introduce her to his parents. His meeting with hers had gone off without a hitch, her father commandeering him to the study for most of the night, luring him in with scotch, and promises of framed pictures from when she was growing up. The two men were fast friends, and her mother was delighted with how well mannered he was. She just wasn't sure what she would do if his mother didn't like him. He was definitely a mama's boy, though he'd probably kill any man that dared to say that to his face.

He'd reassured her over and over that she was going to love her. He was almost desperate for the two most important women in his life to like each other. Thankfully, they had hit it off almost as well as Syverson had with her father. He was almost a little jealous (fine, he was definitely a lot jealous) when his mother offered her the spatula to lick when they were making cookies. He was the chief cookie dough spoon licker, and he had a t-shirt form his childhood that proved it. If it meant they liked each other, however, Syverson was willing to relinquish his title. This time.

He was gobsmacked when his mother handed him a pillow and a spare blanket that night, shooing him off toward the couch. It only took one stern, raised eyebrow from his mother to keep him from protesting. He knew she expected him to wait for marriage. She also knew that he hadn't. He was well aware she knew of that fact as well, but that didn't mean had to put up with it under her roof. She had raised him to be a gentleman, after all.

The pair of them found a beautiful home out in the country, a ton of property for kids to play on and for Aika to run freely. There were even a few apple trees in the far back of the property. That's where they got married, under those trees, who's fruit was the same color as her eyes. It took a few years of work to turn it into their dream home, but it was their labor of love. They had ripped the inside down to studs and rebuilt everything just how they wanted it. Syverson put in a fence around the property, a project that took over a year to complete.

It was just a week after they had finally finished the last of their renovations that her water broke, all over the brand new tile floor in the kitchen. It was also two months before her due date. Syverson had done his best to stay calm for her. He was just as terrified as she was, but she needed him to be strong. The most terrifying moment of his life was when she gave her final push and the doctor began wiping off the baby. The silence was like a knife to the heart. A team of people were rushed in and began working on the tiny infant.

"What's going on?" She had whispered, turning tearful eyes up to her husband, her heart dropping more and more with every passing second. Syverson had slid around the bed, peering over the nurses heads at the little girl that had just been brought into the world. They were sucking out her nose and mouth, vigorously rubbing her with a towel, trying to get her to take a breath.

His world started spinning again when he heard her first tiny cries, steadily growing louder and louder as she made her unhappiness known. He was sure to wipe the tears from his eyes before he turned to his wife, carefully taking her hand in his and kissing her knuckles. "She's ok. She's ok."

Walking his daughter down the aisle was the hardest thing he ever had to do. He was a good guy, sure enough. He treated his baby right. That didn't make it any easier to give her away to her new life. That day was only the second time his wife had seen Syverson cry.

He could tell he was getting older, and that the years hadn't been kind. His knees clicked whenever he moved, his back was in constant pain, and he developed tremors in his arms. His wife had aged beautifully, however. The lines around her bright green eyes only underlined their beauty, and grey had been threaded gracefully through her hair. Now, though, was the most difficult time of his life. They had found the cause of the tremors. A tumor, deep in his brain, and an aggressively growing one at that. The risk of operating on someone his age was too high. It was getting closer and closer to his time to go, and he never felt so powerless in his life. All he had ever been able to promise his wife before was that he would be there for her. What could he tell her now? He was leaving her all one. There wasn't going to be anyone at home to take care of her anymore.

Her small, delicate hand found it's way into his palm, still rough even after all the years. She didn't want him to go, but they both knew his time was coming. "Don't cry for me, darling. I had a good life. The Lord blessed me with a little girl and a beautiful wife. I promise, I'll see you again one day."

"Where's Teddy?" The most heart wrenching words that had ever left her mother's mouth. Her mind had started to go in the years following her father's passing, and lately she'd been forgetting more and more. Telling her mother that her father had passed years ago was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. She watched her mother break all over again. She vowed to never tell her again. Every time after that she had told her mother "he's in the garden".

"Teddy." Her mother's weak voice broke through the monotonous beep of the monitor.

"He's in the garden, Mama."

"Teddy." She repeated, her eyes fixed just beyond her daughter's face.

"I told you I'd see you again, darling. What do you say we go home, beautiful?"

Taglist: @Xxxkatxo @Weallhaveadestiny @lunedelorient @summersong69 @mis-lil-red @lharrietg @amberangel112 @mansaaay

[nonbinaryhatboxghost]

So, I finished watching Star Trek: Voyager. (spoilers throughout)

I started watching the show a couple of years ago, and I remember being impressed at how solid its pilot was. Star Trek shows (in my experience) have a history of starting out a bit rough before figuring themselves out, and it felt like Voyager had a pretty solid identity figured out right from the get-go.

But while I have loved watching the show as a whole, it felt like it went through multiple identity crises along the way.

It’s frustrating because the show contains the best depiction of the weight of being in the captain’s chair out of any Star Trek story I have ever seen. Janeway herself is just a great character in general, but getting moments like the finale of “Tuvix” or literally any scene in “Year of Hell” go much further in depicting the effect of leadership on our lead character than one would expect in a Trek show.

Over the course of my viewing of Voyager, I noticed that I tended to respond more to darker episodes than others. “Meld”, in which Tuvok mind-melds with a serial killer Betazoid played by the great Brad Dourif, is one example. “Mortal Coil”, in which Neelix experiences a crisis of faith after a death experience, is another favorite. And while I am indeed a sucker for a quality dark Trek story, the main reason that I believe I favored these kinds of episodes was because they felt like they had an impact on the characters.

Most of the blockbuster two-parters over the course of the show didn’t really stick with me, despite some very fun premises. And it’s because, with the exception of “Scorpion”, most of these two-parters tended to resolve in a way that completely undid any semblance of consequence on future episodes.

The most egregious example of this is the ending of “Year of Hell”, a two-parter that began development as a premise for the entirety of Season 4, but was rejected by producer Rick Berman and downgraded to two-parter instead. While I had pacing issues with the episodes due to sensing the abbreviated nature of a lot of the subplots, I overall really liked the story and seeing the crew of Voyager having to endure so much. Not because I wanted to see them suffer, but because I wanted to see stories that conveyed their journey home would have an impact on them. So when “Year of Hell” ends with a timeline reset that completely eradicates all of the events of the two-parter, I felt cheated. Because it is a cheat.

When Voyager did a similar time travel reset for their 100th episode, “Timeless”, in which a future Chakotay and Harry pull some shenanigans to prevent Voyager from crashing into an ice planet, that story successfully had its cake and ate it by having our present-day crew be aware of the future Harry and Chakotay’s actions. The episode ends with a shocked present-day Harry watching a video message from his now-dead future self.

When I finally got around to the series finale, “Endgame”, all I knew to expect was another time travel story. I have no issues with time travel in Star Trek. It’s possibly overused, but I never get tired of it because more often than not, Trek knows how to find the fun in whichever story they use that device in. I enjoyed the first half of “Endgame” and its depiction of our crew’s future lives back on Earth. I liked seeing Admiral Janeway go rogue in order to time travel back to the Voyager crew that we’ve been following throughout most of the show. And as purposely-but-still-strangely jarring as it was to see Admiral Janeway try to prioritize Captain Janeway and the crew over defeating the Borg, I really liked their scenes together as well as Admiral Janeway’s confrontation, defeat, and death with the Borg Queen. (who is suddenly played by Alice Krige again in the finale after being played by Susanna Thompson in previous Voyager episodes. I was happy to see her but a bit confused after the show seemed to indicate that Thompson was meant to be Borg Queen 2.0, only to have our original Queen from First Contact return)

Then the last few minutes happen. The Borg are quickly dispatched, Voyager makes it back to the Alpha Quadrant, and the show ends with them blowing up a Borg Sphere and saying “hello” to the Starfleet ships waiting for them. There is barely any time devoted to the impact of arriving home on the crew because it happens so suddenly. And as much as Mulgrew does to sell “Set a course for home” as the final line... it falls flat.

I suspect that the reasoning for the abrupt ending is that the writers thought depicting the future older versions of the crew on Earth would serve as closure for our cast of characters. But it doesn’t work because the whole premise of the finale centers on Admiral Janeway undoing that future so she can save the lives of Seven of Nine and Chakotay, who are dead in this depicted future.

During one of Admiral and Captain Janeways’ scenes together, they are debating whether to use the Borg space tunnels to get home faster, or if they should destroy the tunnels to keep the Borg from being able to get around space. Then Captain Janeway proposes that there’s a way for them to “have our cake and eat it, too.”

Despite the convenience of this final plot, one that is explicitly identified as such by that line, the finale could still have stuck the landing if we saw or felt the impact of arriving home on the Voyager crew that we have been following for seven seasons. As messy as the show sometimes got, and as underserved as some characters became after the show introduced Seven of Nine (which confuses me because the writers did such a good initial job of utilizing that character to create new dynamics with the cast), this cast had earned and deserved a depiction of their arrival home. And we never got that.

Tom Paris is my least favorite character on the show. It has nothing to do with Robert Duncan McNeill’s performance, it’s just that the character never felt particularly developed beyond his initial characterization for me. His best material, in my opinion, was in “Lineage” when Tom comforts and assures B’Elanna that he will never leave her and that he wants their children to inherit their mother’s Klingon heritage. But one thread throughout the course of the show that seemed so straightforward of a payoff to save for the finale was Tom’s reunion with his father.

Tom talks frequently over the course of the show about his strained relationship with his Admiral dad. Then once Voyager is able to establish contact with the Alpha Quadrant (another development I had mixed feelings on because it diminishes the premise of the show by minimizing the ship’s isolation), we get introduced to Admiral Paris and he becomes a recurring character. We even get a moment where he expresses his love for Tom and how much he misses him. And while we do see Tom’s reaction to this, this huge character moment isn’t a direct interaction between these two characters. So naturally you would assume that their reunion, and likely reconciliation as father and son, would be shown once Voyager returns to Earth in the finale.

But that doesn’t happen.

Even though Admiral Paris is in the finale, that reunion setup is just not payed off in any way.

We also don’t get to see Tuvok reunited with his family.

Or Seven of Nine’s first impressions of Earth or her meeting any of her relatives.

Or any indication of what our former Maquis crewmembers’ reception by Starfleet would be.

Strangely, the only satisfying character sendoff of the show is Neelix, who in an earlier episode leaves to be with a colony of his own people and serve as Starfleet’s Delta Quadrant ambassador. His goodbye to the crew is a beautifully simple scene of him walking to his ship and passing by the entire crew, who are assembled along the hallway to see him off. And we even get a payoff to his friendship with Tuvok when Tuvok briefly taps his toes as a farewell gesture to Neelix.

Neelix started as the show’s most grating character, irritatingly cheerful and toxically possessive of Kes. By the time the show ended, he had become a well-rounded and essential presence. His traumas of losing his faith and family, as well as his insecurities around his role in the crew, were well developed over the course of the show.

In a way, the finale was a perfect example of the show. The premise was solid, and the cast was totally game and performed it to the best of their ability. But when it came down to conveying any impact that this episode, or the series in its entirety, would have on its characters... the finale just sidesteps that and ends abruptly.

Janeway, Seven of Nine, Chakotay, B’Elanna, Tuvok, Harry, Tom, Kes, and The Doctor all deserved better.