#the vees are poly

[purplestars222]

Hazbin hotel headcannons!!!!

just general stuff i think the characters do!!

(radiodust, staticmoth, vees are poly, chaggie, pentniss, little bit of radioapple if you squint, also one sided huskerdust/angeldusk)

characters: Alastor, angeldust, lucifer, charlie, vaggie, husk, sir pentious, arackniss, baxter, niftyz cherri bomb, the vees.

cw: nsfw!!! valentino

Minors do not interact.

definitely vapes. since he has to stay sober, i think he would vape to take the edge off a bit :)

Angeldust

in an attempt to get alastor to actually like him, he lays off the flirting a little, and cooks for him from time to time, he mainly just makes different pastas

He teaches alastor italian, and alastor teaches him french

Hates arackniss most of the time, but loves teasing him about being a bottom with pentious (hes a switch)

Alastor

he cooks for others to show he cares

i dont think he'd be a fan of imps ir hellhounds, idk why i just get that feeling

HE IS STINKY.

hes curious about arackniss because hes the opposite of angel, so they have drinks together sometimes- alastor always asks questions about angels past

he doesn't believe that he likes angel at first, but angel starts letting his walls down, and alastor realises hes actually an interesting individual!

Charlie

she just wants her dads to get along!

she puts together trust exercises specifically for alastor and lucifer to get closer but it drives them apart

She loves taking care of vaggie, it makes her feel useful. Whenever vaggie isnt feeling well, she only lets her leave bed when necessary. She gets everything she needs.

Lucifer

hes a switch but prefers to bottom, lillith 100% pegs him.

Cooks breakfast at the hotel on weekends for the main guys- alastor started helping too out of spite, trying to make his food taste better.

Always does things to prove hes better than alastor, hes mainly just trying to get als attention but he pays him no mind.

Vaggie

If anyone looks at charlie the wrong way or touches her without consent she goes fucking beserk. If she ever finds out about what valentino did, she'll kill him herself.

Husk

has a pretty close relationship with lucifer! they play board games together and lucifer sometimes vents to her

they shit talk alastor together

vaggie vents to him aswell

him and angel watch movies together sometimes and cuddle! alastor does not approve, but him and angel arent together so he cant really do anything, because it makes angel happy.

Sir pentious

He loves angels chest fluff and sometimes purrs into it when they're cuddling. angel teases him for it, but in a cute way

he practises magic tricks with angel when they're having a movie night.

him and angel sometimes fuck, for angel is just sex with a close friend but husk really likes him, husk just knows alastor likes angel too and he does NOT wanna fuck with alastor.

when angel and alastor get together he hides away in his room for a few days, he only tells charlie what happened

Autistic. Most autistic guy in the show (until we get baxter at least)

Doesn't understand why niss doesn't say hes only half a bottom when angel teases him about it

when angel asks about his sex life with niss (as a joke) his whole face turns red and he screams "Itss none of your businessss!!" and slithers off as fast as he can, angel thinks its fucking hilarious to get him flustered

Nifty

Proudest dad of his egg bois, he sometimes makes little outfits for them and they out on mini plays for him and arackniss about very random stuff, they can never tell if the plays are based on true events or not.

he has a giant heat lamp in his room, he lays under it and reads

She plays with dead bugs, her favourite thing is playing with corpses of dead bugs in front of other bugs

She has a pink bed and her room is always spotless

she loves alastors cooking, she refuses to eat lucifers food if alastor has cooked something too

straight, during pride she puts an excessive amount of pride flags everywhere, every different type too, the hotel is covered in them.

Arackniss

him and angel tease each other alot. arackniss mainly teases him for being in love with a red deer.

he confesses first to pentious, and pentious is a flustered mess.

hes overprotective with the egg bois, he kinda freaks if one is missing

smokes in the hotel lobby even tho charlie hates it, vaggie yells at him all the time for it

he always needs pentious' tail wrapped around at least one of his legs to sleep, the contact gives him comfort

he loves tying pentious up during sex

Cherri bomb

Baxter

autism!!!!

if you touch anything in his lab he will have a meltdown- everything has its own perfect place and it cannot be adjusted.

he accidentally blows up his lab alot, it causes alot of hotel damage

he uses his little light to read at night

definitely believes in some crazy ass conspiracy theories

only at the hotel to research the whole redemption thing.

he loves leviathan

tells people to eat spoonfuls of vegemite as a prank, when alastor enjoys it she doesn't find it funny anymore and stops

Vox

when people piss her off she speaks with a real hardcore aussie accent and uses alot of slang, also talks fast.

she is aboriginal :3

she secretly watches bluey with angeldust

she absolutely loves making people try australian snacks like fairy bread, jaffas, pavlova, sausage sangas, smiths chips on a sandwich ect

pentious and her are besties!

(i love my aussie girl <3 none of you are allowed to disagree with me because these are my headcannons)

glitches when hes about to cum

Velvette

gets overheated during sex sometimes so he has to stop to cool down

his penis is robotic and it can pop off and back on. he has a bunch of different ones he can use, val can choose what one he uses.

listens to musicals and sometimes performs them with val, specifically heathers

hes really jealous of angeldust, he wants val's attention as much as he can possibly get it

Vel & val play video games on vox's screen sometimes. Velvette always beats him at whatever theyre playing cos that fucker is blind

Valentino

Prefers having sex with women, only man she really ever fucks is vox, most the time she just fucks her models.

practices makeup on valentino, also constantly makes fun of him for being blind & bald

she does drag with valentino and they out on little fashion shows for vox

He can only see 3 metres in front of him

Vox and vel have to help him with paperwork

Vox gets mad at him because of how many cords he has lying around

has the most insane sex toy collection, he has everything.

he vents to vox's sharks sometimes. he knows vox can hear him but he just pretends he doesnt know

ty for taking the time to read!!! drink water and eat today darling!!! <33

[grandkhan221b]

when you say "Vox is the hinge" this is what you mean right

[smthaboutuss]

Poly Vees 😽

[lalalalalalakakakak]

(their limousine was at the mechanic's)

I wonder if this is also how Vox asked Alastor to join his team

[aimasup]

Now Hispanic Velvette

It's the sweet-toothed dolly diva who's a strict shot on both camera and gun, and also a vampire with a blood kink for some reason! Everyone give it up for the worst boss and best porn film director of hell 👏

POV you're Velvette meeting other overlords for the first time

[polmin]

priest and his nuns 🙏

[diurnalvl]

vees headcanon: when velvette is bored, she likes to read out thirst veets on vitter to see vox's reaction.

she would bother val, but he doomscrolls his thirst veets mornings and nights, so it isn't nearly as fun as vox's immediate shocking shock at the sheer gall of some of these sinners.

once vox stops glitching, he's usually gathered enough wits to immediately approve more merch.

they made vees body pillows once. he never wants to see one in real life.

[keekeenuggets]

ALSO

Can we talk about how the Vees always hang out in the same room???

We first see it when Vox goes to calm Val down:

It's the same table, TV, and couches that are in the extermination watch party scene, and they're also the same couches that Val and Vel are hanging out on in Stayed Gone:

This poster next to Vox when Val threw the glass is also visible in the background (on the left, behind Val) in the scene where Vel is watching the news on her phone:

After which Val immediately turns around and goes to sit on the couch to turn the TV on instead so he can see better. And when it switches to Vox's camera, there's a clear shot of the couches/table as well:

When their song in the finale starts, Vox passes these monitors, which are the same ones as in the first scene with Vox and Val (plus the little photo):

Then they're in front of the couch Vel and Vox were sitting on:

And then you can see the back of Val's couch when Velvette is filming the dancing.

And in her phone screen, you can see barstools in the background, which is probably where Velvette was sitting when she showed Val the news on her phone?

Also she was filming for 10 minutes,

And then remember that uh... weapons closet that Val gets guns out of? You can see it in the background when Val and Vox are singing (just to the right of Vox).

All of this is just to say the Vees 100% always hang out in this space, and it's adorable. It's their hangout space. I was always thinking it's a lobby/living room of some kind, but I've seen people refer to it as Val's room, and you know what? It's amazing either way because either Velvette and Vox both adore Val enough to have all his posters covering their common area wall, OR they have designated Val's room as their hangout spot, and he's just chill with it 😭

Bonus: look at how Velvette looks at her boys when they go off dancing:

These three are top tier polycule material and you cannot convince me otherwise.

[sparklingsora]

yeah sure i guess this is how i'll introduce my roleswap au. anyway yeah the good guys swap with the bad guys whaaaaaaat?!?!?!? god i cant believe this au has been consuming my brain for the past several weeks and now i cant even describe it properly. some character refs and descriptions under cut:

imagine, if you will, you are a man with a tv for a head. and lets just say, hypothetically, that you were friends with a powerful overlord. a powerful overlord named alastor. and lets just say for the sake of this argument, that this powerful overlord named alastor died in an extermination. so lets assume that you open a hotel to rehabilitate sinners with your girlfriend with the help of this magical cat you found. (and then, lets say, hypothetically, that this powerful overlord named alastor turns out to be alive after all and now he's avoiding you and you are very pissed about it)

okay and NOW imagine, if you will, you are the daughter of lucifer, one of the highest ranking angels in heaven, but you got kicked out of heaven for being a cringefail loser. and also imagine that unknown to you your girlfriend is actually an angel sent by your shitty dad to watch over you because he still cares??? i guess??? somewhat??? though he's still shitty anyway PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send me asks about this au ive got so much lore sitting in this brain of my mine PLEASE I WILL EXPLODE IF I DONT GET IT OUT INTO THE WORLD

[hocooart]

Quick colored sketch~

[scoutswritingcorner]

Chauffeur

The Vee’s x GN!Reader

A/n: I caved. I’m caving into the Vee’s. Y’all got me by the fucking scruff like a cat and are dragging me deeper into the depths of hell. Also I have updated my rules so go check that out if you want. 

TW: Valentino. He is his own trigger warning. NSFW Mention cause of Valentino.

The life of being the Vee’s personal chauffeur and secret crush. It’s not a secret they are all horrible at hiding it but you're just focused on your job.

First of all let me say this, these three assholes adore your ass. At first they didn’t care but now? Oh boy, they try everything to get you to do stuff for them. Especially when it involves you driving them around town.

Vox likes it when you are driving one of his personal vehicles with him. He throws you the key, shoots you a wink and lets you drive him around. His favorite is when he sees you in the most comfortable clothes you can have (ei. Pajamas or something)  while driving it around. He likes to think you're comfortable around him enough to do so. He also does it when he’s overstimulated from working and the other two so he gets you to drive around for hours while he reboots and calms himself.

Velvette always calls you up to her studio so she can fit you with a new outfit for when you drive her around for her shows or meetings. You better open her door for her or she will get mad, she can’t be breaking a nail now. You also are picking her up with a full tank of gas in the car cause after? She wants you to drive around a little longer, keep her mind off killing someone or something that looks at her wrong. Don’t worry! She’ll send you some more gas money and a little more with the promise to “get you something nice.” 

Valentino is also always calling or texting you. He wants you to drive around his limo cause you take good care of it and you’re never asking too many questions if he’s fucking one of his many workers in the back. After dropping him off, he always catches your chin in his fingers and smirks, “Thank you, Mi chofer pequeño~”. If it’s just you and him in the limo or car, he’s holding one of your hands and flirting with you the whole time saying some dirty remark that you just ignore.

Now all three of them together? That’s some sort of trouble to deal with. One of them wants your attention and the other two are fighting or so, please keep the partition window open for their own good. Or don’t, Valentino will press the button himself to call for you when he wants your attention. The longer you ignore them the more he presses the button. They love it when you open the door for them, I mean it’s part of your job but they can’t get enough. Val will purr and make a dirty comment, Vox will smile and wink, Velvette will snap a picture with the caption ‘#bestchauffeur’ and a wink at you before all three disappear into the tower or wherever they went. 

[tiburion]

Here part 2 of summer Vees sketches

[artofhazbinhotel]

Valentino: Velvette help I can't turn vox on!

Velvette: that sounds like a you problem

Valentino: No he shut off what do I do

[smthaboutuss]

Summer Vees 🫶 I wanna run into them at the beach so bad bro

[gloriousmonsters]

one of the many reasons polyvees works is that vox and velvette are both so misanthropic and repressed in their own ways that valentino is like a manic pixie dream girl to them. he mentions that he enjoys talking to strangers at the club and velvette is pretending not to listen but going 'god damn... you're such a quirky free spirit i could never' on the inside. he texts vox a blurry picture of a flower that tried to bite him the morning after their first date business meeting along with a ramble about what he ate for breakfast and a misremembered shakespeare quote and vox is like 'he could fix me'

[aimasup]

Velvette doesn't always make Valentino suffer on purpose, she just has a natural talent for starting shit 😔

They only bond over crushing dreams, beauty stuff, Vox, etc

Valentino has to put on x2 speed Satisfying Videos to get Velvette to sit down and watch his goddamn films all the way through