#the vc isnt recovering from this one boys

[pokeninjager-ghost-art]

fun fact, seb in pressure rarely sleeps because he has to be on constant alert- when he's back home with everyone i bet he still has trouble sleeping so what better way than to be in the comforting embrace of his mother singing him a lullaby she use to sing him

@doodledrawsthings for mama Rosary's design <3

[daddyd0nt]

SO apparently my old diagnosis of DDNOES isnt used anymore and I would be considered OSDD so I just thought that I (we?) would say a little hello to the community.  I AM professionally diagnosed and my new therapist thinks it might help me a little bit to actually acknowledge my alters instead of my last therapists advice which was not to give in to it.  

Sarah is my adult fronter (Im 30 but I feel like shes more 21-25 which is around the age i detransitioned).  She is very sexual, likes to dress in lingerie (specifically babydoll style), the only one in the system who responds positively to male sexual attention, the only one in the system who masterbates (sorry if that is TMI).  She is also the only one in the system with the ability to do makeup.  She loves VC Andrews and poetry and fancy smelling soap.  Her favorite music is stuff like Xiu Xiu, The Mountain Goats, radiohead, Nicole Dollanganger, Ginger Bronson, and Hole.  She does non-contact online sex work and is a bit of a compulsive spender.   She collects Precious Moments figurines. We are all autistic but Sarah is the highest functioning.  Sarah is recovering from EDNOES/Bulimia/Atypical Anorexia.  She likes benzos, opiates, and ecstasy and is my most social alter.  She has a slight southern accent.

My second alter is Syd.  Syd identifies as male and is roughly 15 years old.  He likes rough sex, is a recovering cutter, is an insufferable edgelord who is fascinated by gore and autistically into horror.  He holds most of my wrath toward the world.  He’s my second most common fronting alter.  He likes MCR, The Used, Smashing Pumpkins, and Three Days Grace.  He loves to read splatterpunk and transgressive fiction.  He is a reckless drug user and will get high on anything from benadryl to cough medication to the air in the whipped cream can and is a compulsive stoner.  His preferred high is psychedelic.  He prefers the company of other boys and doesnt have a lot in common with most girls.  He is very dysphoric about his chest and the most likely to get caught up in drama and discourse because he doesnt separate negative and positive attention.  He collects horror merch.  He has the most severe case of BPD and NPD out of the system members and also has the most noticeable tic (sharply exhaling through the nose).  He uses a lot of slang circa-2011 and has the strongest eastern accent out of the three.

My most common fronting alter and also my lowest functioning is Ash, my “little” (age 2-5).  She loves to color, likes early Melanie Martinez, collects squishmellows, and is terrified of “mushy” textures.  She is very emotionally dependent on our partner and gets severe separation anxiety.  She is the most capable of caring for children out of the three because she understands their needs, being a child herself.  She is a severe trauma holder with CPTSD and often nonverbal.  She is completely asexual and terrified of male attention.  She is friendly to everybody to a fault and easily manipulated by false kindness.  She is the only one in the system without body dysmorphia.  She likes weed because it makes the overstimulation calm down a little bit and did NOT like acid when i did it while she was fronting.  She is obsessed with receiving praise from authority.  She enjoys more lighthearted media like comedy and eats too much candy.  She has a higher pitched voice than the other two.  

I sometimes dissociate to a robot/void state when overstimulated but I slip between alters with little to no interruption or chunks of missing time (well that may or may not be true i have a very bad memory) and have some control over “who” is fronting its not completely involuntary (like i can push Syd and Sarah down if they try to front at work) but my therapist was pretty confident in the diagnosis.  So thats pretty much it, Im open to more questions if anybody has any but that is pretty much “us”.  

[glitchyferrethere]

AWH THIS IS TO CUTE 😭😭

fun fact, seb in pressure rarely sleeps because he has to be on constant alert- when he's back home with everyone i bet he still has trouble sleeping so what better way than to be in the comforting embrace of his mother singing him a lullaby she use to sing him

@doodledrawsthings for mama Rosary's design <3