#the universe specifically made sure i had money in time to get them

[semiotomatics]

about to fight tooth and nail for dan mangan tickets please pray for me

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 24: The Last First Time

Summary: You and Simon both get what you want.

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Word Count: 15,019 words

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, unprotected sex, p in v sex, rough sex (it's like straight animalistic y'all), grinding, mutual masturbation, fingering, slightly violent imagery, scratching, biting, hair pulling, dry humping, blood (only a little), slight BDSM vibes, licking, squirting, praise, fluids (so many fluids), choking (only for a second), Simon's oral fixation, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, slight fluff, language, Simon being Simon, excessive use of the word "fuck", it's basically porn with very little plot.

A/N: This...this thing is a beast. It beat me up and stole my lunch money. I may have been a bit ambitious with it, but I've denied the Ghosties long enough and so I'm making up for that. Anyway...this might be one of the most depraved things I've ever written (not really, but you get the point). He'd the warnings, and I don't recommend reading this in public. Or standing. Or in underwear you care about. It's a good thing today is Sunday because y'all are gonna need Jesus after this.

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*This is the gif*

Your teeth sink into your lip as you slowly draw your gaze back to his face. He’s still looking at the bear, and once again, you wish you could see his face so you could guess what was going through his head. 

“I missed you.” You say quickly, ready to explain away the shirt and why you put it on that bear specifically. “A lot.�� 

His eyes turn back to you, the intensity in them almost forcing you to take a step back. Any words trying to explain your actions die on your tongue as you hold his dark gaze, your heart thumping in your chest so loud you’re surprised he can’t hear it. A quiet sound rumbles in his chest as he looks at you, his eyes darkening just slightly. He takes a step closer, your head tilting up so you can hold his gaze. 

“Then I best make up for it.” He says, his hand moving to your side. His fingers bunch the fabric of the dress at your hip, lifting the hem a couple of inches. “Yellow sundress?” He asks. 

“Johnny bought it for me.” You say, your voice wavering from the anticipation of his touch. “I-It was nice out today, so I wanted to wear it.” 

“Fucking hell.” He breathes, releasing the fabric to drag his hand up your side, stopping just under your breast. 

You want him to continue, to push his hand higher, to finally touch you. You feel electric, every nerve fiber in your body alive as you stare up at him. Yet, you can see the hesitation, the conflict in his eyes. 

“We don’t have to.” You say, leaving that option open for him. Sure, it might be a little difficult after being so worked up, but the last thing you want is to push him too far. You can always get one of the other members of your pack to help ease that ache. “You just got back. There’s...there’s no need to rush it.” 

His fingers tighten around your side for a moment before he releases you, turning his back to you. You begin to panic, wondering if you pushed too far, made too many assumptions, made him too uncomfortable as he walks to the door. You’ve done it, you’ve messed things up and now it’s all crumbling down around you. 

His hand wraps around the knob, slowly pushing the door closed until it clicks. He stands there with his back to you for a moment before he turns back around. You let out the breath you had been holding, trying to calm the panic. Of course he’d want the door closed. This is just between you and him right now. 

You hold a hand out to him, trying to fight the tremble of your fingers. Your emotions are swirling and you need his reassurance. You need his grounding presence. 

He approaches you again, each step slow and calculated as he reaches out, his fingers brushing your palm before he wraps them around your hand. You close your hand around his as best you can with how big it is. You lift your gaze to his, the temptation to fold under the intensity strong, but you refuse. You need to be strong for him, for both of you. Your gaze doesn’t leave his as you slowly turn, walking backwards towards your bed, leading him by the hand with you. 

Your gaze finally leaves his as you turn to face your bed, stopping dead in your tracks. Simon’s chest brushes your back, obviously not expecting you to stop so suddenly. Something tickles in the back of your mind as you stare at the mess that’s become of your bed. The blankets and pillows are still a bit rumpled and misplaced from your lounging earlier, but something’s wrong. Something’s off, something’s not right. 

“Wait.” You say, dropping Simon’s hand before taking the two steps to the edge of your mattress. 

You move the giant bear to the floor next to the bed before you fix the blankets, smoothing them out and making sure they’re just right. You rearrange your stuffed animals and pillows, the need for them to be perfect taking over your mind. You can’t control it, can’t stop it until everything is perfect. 

You take a step back, staring at the nest you’ve made. 

Nest. 

You’re nesting again. 

You turn to face Simon, blinking up at him as the haze clears. He’s staring at you intensely, hands curled into fists at his side. “Sorry.” You murmur, hands closing around the fabric of your dress nervously. “I-I don’t know what-” 

“Don’t.” He says, the word sharp and biting. “Stop apologizing for your instincts.” 

“Sorry.” You say again, wincing at the instinct to immediately apologize. 

He rolls his eyes, closing the distance between you. You take half a step back, your legs hitting the mattress and you’re ready to sit on it when he grabs your hand, flipping your positions so fast it nearly makes you dizzy. He seats himself on the mattress instead, staring up at you. The look in his eyes takes your breath away as he tugs you to stand between his parted thighs. 

He tugs the bottom of his mask up and you don’t even have to be told, your head immediately lowering to kiss him. You rest your hands on his broad shoulders, feeling the muscle beneath them. His hands close around the back of your thighs, calloused skin biting at the softness of your own. Goosebumps rise on your skin, covering your body from the sensation. It’s nothing new to you, but he’s new to you. You’ve never been in this position before with him, never under these circumstances. 

His kiss is searing, just as the first one had been. He kisses you like a man starved, like he wants to devour you. It’s sloppy and wet, his hands squeezing around your thighs until your lips part in a gasp, and he takes advantage of it, slipping his tongue into your mouth. You press closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands begin to crawl up the backs of your thighs, warmth blossoming in your stomach again as they slip under the hem of your dress, continuing higher and higher. 

His fingers brush the skin where your thighs and ass meet, before continuing upwards until they brush the fabric underneath your dress. He groans into your mouth, pulling away from your lips. “Turn around and show me.”  

You shiver at the growl in his voice, turning slowly between his knees until your back is to him. You slowly lift the hem of your dress until it’s bunched around your waist, the cool air in the room brushing your exposed skin. You hear the sharp inhale as he stares at you, his fingers twitching against the sides of your thighs. 

“Fucking hell.” He breathes, his hands gripping the sides of your thighs as you bend over just slightly, causing the fabric to ride up slightly higher. 

You sink your teeth into your lip as you stand there under his critical gaze. You had planned this after Johnny’s hint that you should wear the dress since the weather was going to be nice. You knew there was more to it than that, the subtle hint that Simon would enjoy seeing you in it. The panties had been a deliberate choice just on the off chance that something like this would happen. You’re glad you made that decision now, half bent over with your ass in Simon’s face, showing off the black, skull print fabric adorning your skin. 

Simon curses again, his hands gripping your waist to tug you back into his lap. Your back collides with his chest, but he offers no complaint as he wraps his arms tightly around your middle. You can feel him, the bulge in his pants as you press back against him, the knowledge that he’s turned on by just the sight of your ass in skull print panties sending heat rushing between your own thighs. 

You tilt your head to the side, meeting his lips as you press back against him, his hands hot against your stomach. You need him to lower his hand, press it between your thighs, relieve some of the ache. 

His arms release around you and you turn in his lap, straddling his thick thighs. His hands settle on your own thighs, rocking your body against the prominent bulge in his pants. You continue to kiss him, gasping into his mouth as your clothed slit drags against the rough fabric of his jeans. Your arms wrap around his neck, fingers brushing the sensitive skin below his mask. You can feel the hair at the nape of his neck, the short strands prickling your fingers. 

Simon pulls away from your lips, releasing his hold on your thighs. You freeze, holding your breath as you wait for what’s going to happen next. You’re worried perhaps you went too far, or perhaps he’s having second thoughts. He drops his head to your chest, pressing his face against your clothed breasts. He holds himself there, taking a shaky breath in. 

“We don’t have to.” The words come spilling out. “We can stop any time.” You rub his upper back, trying to release some of the tension in his shoulders. 

“‘S not fair to you.” He murmurs, his breath hot through the thin fabric of the dress. 

“I’ll be fine.” You say, moving off his lap. 

He lets you, releasing his hold around you. He doesn’t lift his head, still bowed almost in shame. You sit next to him, close enough your arm is pressed against his. 

“Like I said, there’s no rush.” You say, trying to reassure him. 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He says, closing his hands into fists. There’s more emotion in his voice than you’ve ever heard before, the sound almost startling compared to the usual gruffness and bite to his words. 

“You won’t.” You shrug. “I can handle Johnny just fine, and John.” You put your hand over one of his. “I would tell you, if you hurt me, or if I got uncomfortable. I’m not as breakable as you think. You’ve thrown me around in training and I’ve been fine.” 

A low sound rumbles in his chest at your words. It sends a shiver down your spine, half of your brain telling you to run, and the other half sending heat between your thighs. He sits up straight, pulling his mask down as he turns to look at you. “Touch yourself.” 

“W-What?” You ask, taken aback.

“Touch yourself for me.” He repeats himself. 

You hesitate for half a second, before you nod. “O-Okay.” You reply, thrilled and nervous at the idea. 

You push yourself up further onto the bed as Simon adjusts himself so he’s against the headboard, lounging in your bed. You ignore the feelings rushing through you at the sight of the big alpha in your nest. It’s almost comical, seeing him in his dark clothes, an imposing figure surrounded by soft blankets and stuffed animals and colorful pillows. You lean against the footboard at the end of your bed, adjusting yourself so your thighs are spread, giving him a perfect view of your fabric covered pussy. You slip your hands under the waistband of your panties, but he stops you. 

“Leave them on.” He growls, eyes glued at the slightly darker patch of fabric between your legs. 

You slowly release your panties, tugging the hem of your dress up higher before you slip your hand into your underwear. You’re soaked, your fingers slipping along the slick skin. You stare at Simon’s face, his eyes glued to the movement of your hand under your panties as you begin to tease your clit. There’s an obvious tent in his pants, a painful looking bulge in his jeans. 

A quiet sigh leaves your lips as you circle your clit slowly, spreading your legs even further, draping one over his. His hands settle on his stomach as he watches, his breathing slow and even. 

Your breathing has picked up as you continue to tease your clit. Between the moment shared with him and the intensity of his gaze on your clothed pussy, it’s almost too much. You could cum just like this, barely touched, shivering under the gaze of your pack’s second alpha. It’s the most intimate you’ve ever been with him, and you’re not even naked. 

You slip your fingers lower, gathering slick on them before pressing two into your throbbing pussy. You moan softly at the slight stretch, your eyes focusing on his hands and where they rest on his stomach. How full you’d be on his fingers. Yours are nothing compared to his. The depths he could reach, the delicious stretch of them. You sink your teeth into your lip, biting back a moan as you begin to thrust your fingers in and out of you. 

His scent is intensifying, growing muskier in his arousal as he watches you. For once he doesn’t complain about the sweetness of your scent, the two mixing in the air, the perfect blend of alpha and omega. 

“A mixture someone could get drunk off of.” 

That’s what John had said. You want to, let it flow straight into your brain and numb your senses until there’s nothing but the two of you. Until you’re full of giddy happiness and warmth as your limbs go lax and all tension and stress leaves your body. Until you forget where you are, lost in some far away land where there’s nothing but you and the overwhelming scent of alpha, of Simon. 

A shudder wracks through your body, your scent intensifying as pleasure begins to sear through your veins. Simon’s nose twitches beneath his mask, his pupils dilating as your scent goes straight to his brain. You wonder what kind of iron grip he’s keeping on himself, how he’s managing to hold himself back. You’d jump his bones right now if he hadn’t set this boundary between you. Perhaps it’s that boundary keeping him still on the bed. There certainly wouldn’t be any complains from you if he crossed that boundary, ripped your hand from your panties and fucked you until you couldn’t move. 

“Fuck.” He growls, almost as if he could read your thoughts, as if there was some sort of telepathic link between the two of you giving him a glimpse into your mind. It would explain how in tune he is with you, how he always seems to know, how easily he can read you. 

Your movements falter as he slides his hand down his stomach, tugging at the button on his jeans. You watch, enraptured as he slips his own hand into his pants, palming at his bulge. Your mouth waters at the thought of finally seeing him, of getting a glimpse of what lies beneath. He’s big, you know he has to be. Alphas generally are, thick and long to match their build.

Your pussy clenches at the thought of the stretch, how he’ll have to open you up with his fingers first so it doesn’t hurt. He’ll take good care of you, making sure you’re nice and slick and ready for him before he sinks into you, still stretching you with his cock. 

A needy moan falls from your lips as slick gushes around your fingers, increasing the wet squelch of them with every thrust. Simon’s hand slips under his briefs, wrapping around his cock. You keep your gaze on the movement of his hand beneath the fabric as he pumps his length in time with the movements of your hand. 

Your free hand grips the sheets under you as you adjust the position of your fingers, pressing your palm against your throbbing clit. The coil in your stomach is tightening, your thighs beginning to shake as you get closer and closer to the edge. 

“Gonna cum?” He rasps, his hand pumping his cock faster as he chases his own high. “Gonna cum for me?” 

“Yes!” You gasp out, curling your fingers against that spongy spot inside you. “Yes!” 

He curses, the word a drawn out rumble in his chest as your thighs close, squeezing around your hand as you cum around your fingers. Your back arches as you nearly spasm from the pleasure, working yourself through the orgasm as he grunts in pleasure from his own approaching orgasm. 

Your body settles, still shaking slightly as you withdraw your fingers from your underwear. They’re shiny with slick and your cum and you lift them to your mouth, letting your tongue dart out to lick at your own juices. 

The sound Simon lets out is nearly animalistic, the pace of his hand frantic as his head tilts back, his hips jerking. You watch him cum, the muscles in his arms flexing as he spills into his underwear. It’s beautiful, the sight of him lost in pleasure. You wish you could see his face, see the way he looks in this moment, but you can’t. Instead you focus on the way his eyes flutter, those long blonde lashes golden in the light from your lamp. 

His breaths are heavy, chest heaving as he comes down from his own high. Your own breathing has settled as you lay there lax at the end of your bed. It’s quiet between you for a moment, his gaze locked on yours. How far things have come just from a couple weeks of distance from each other. It’s impossible not to wonder if something happened, if there was a close call that caused him to think of all the things he’d regret not doing. Or perhaps it was just the distance, the realization that holding himself back was foolish and pointless. You’d welcome him with open arms, just as you had when he walked down the ramp and onto the tarmac. 

He had been the one to make that first move, kissing you when you least expected it. What had gone through his head to cause such a reaction? Had he panicked just as much as you would have, overthinking it until he convinced himself you wouldn't want it? Did the emotions of the moment take over and he couldn’t stop himself from giving in to those desires? Or had he simply faced those fears head on and did it because he wanted to? 

He knows how you feel. The kiss in the car had confirmed that, and you inviting him into your space was the gavel strike that sealed your fates. You don’t want to turn back, you wouldn’t turn back, not after everything. 

Simon moves first, pushing himself up to sit on the edge of your bed. You desperately want to know what he’s thinking, what’s going on in his head. He doesn’t regret this decision, does he? You’ve leaped over the boundaries he’d once set, sharing such an intimate, vulnerable moment with each other. You’d let him go if he wanted to leave, no matter how desperately you’d want to cling to him and beg him to stay. 

He pushes himself up to stand, jeans still unbuttoned as he turns to face you. “Be right back.” He says, leaning down to press a kiss to your head through the mask before he heads into your bathroom, closing the door. 

You let out a quiet breath, sitting there for a moment before you get up, tugging your sundress off. It’s late, the others likely in bed already, or heading that way. You wonder if he’ll be permitted a day off tomorrow, or if he’ll even want to take one. You know how strictly he likes to keep to his schedule, even when he has to be utterly exhausted. 

You’re tempted to pull his shirt off the bear and wear it as you stand there in nothing but your panties, but you’re not sure if that will be pushing too much at once. You decide against it, instead digging out a baggy shirt from your dresser, pulling it over your head. 

You rearrange your nest as water runs in the bathroom, pushing most of the pillows and stuffed animals to the end of the bed before you turn down the blankets, climbing in. Simon’s scent wafts up around you as you lay down, unable to stop yourself as you press your face into your pillow and inhale deeply. Your tongue darts out, pressing against the fabric before you can stop it. It’s musky and slightly tangy, making your mouth water. You want to lick it from the source, wrap your teeth around Simon’s scent gland and devour him. 

Your mind is hazy as you push yourself away from the pillow, blinking away the animalistic thoughts seeping to the front of your brain as the bathroom door opens. Simon steps out, taking a couple slow steps to the middle of your room. He stands there like he’s unsure of what to do next. Should he offer to leave, or ask to join you in bed? You can see the hesitation, the conflict as he tries to decide which is okay, which one might be the best decision. 

“You could join me, if you want.” You say, giving him an offer, a chance at a decision. You wouldn’t be upset if he left, well, not entirely. He’s shown a lot of vulnerability tonight, and you wouldn’t blame him if he wanted space to think over things. You don’t want him to leave, but you’d understand if he did. 

“Is that what you want?” He asks, shifting on his feet. 

“I did offer.” You shrug. “It’s up to you. I can always cuddle the bear.” 

His gaze drops to the bear seated on the floor next to the bed, still wearing his black t-shirt. His hands curl into fists before he looks back up at you. “Move over.” 

You try to hide your grin as you press yourself back against the wall, watching as he unbuttons his jeans again. He pulls them off, folding them in half before draping them over your footboard. This is the most exposed he’s been in front of you, the most skin you’ve seen at one time. You can’t help but stare at his legs, thick thighs dusted with dark blonde hair and covered in scars. They’re not surprising to you, not after seeing the others, though he has the most by far. Small lines, pink and white speckling the skin. There’s a puckered scar on one calf, a bullet wound you now know. There’s a long, thick scar on the other thigh cutting from the side of his knee, up his thigh until it disappears under his briefs. 

You quickly avert your gaze as you realize he’s standing there, watching you. He quickly crawls under the blankets, a nervous sweat starting to form across your back. You don’t mean to make him uncomfortable, but it’s hard not to stare. You want to know, you want every story that explains every scar. You can’t even begin to imagine the horror of the big one on his leg. So far John has been the only one to tell you about all of his scars, as much as he could at least. Johnny had relayed a couple dramatic stories about his, and Kyle has told you about a couple when you’ve asked. You’re not even sure you could ask Simon, much less how you would go about it. 

You’re pulled from your thoughts as you’re suddenly yanked down against Simon’s chest, his arm wrapped around your back. 

“You’re thinking too much.” He says, shifting just slightly to get comfortable on the small bed. It’s a tight squeeze with the two of you, forcing you to nearly lay half on top of him. You’ve never wanted that dream of a bigger bed to be more true than in this moment. 

“Sorry.” You say, wincing at your instinct to apologize again. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” 

“Not uncomfortable.” He says, his voice rumbling in his chest. “Just not used to it yet.” 

“Is that why you keep yourself covered as much as possible? The scars?” You ask, biting your lip as soon as the question comes out. You hadn’t meant to ask it out loud, but you can’t stop your curiosity. 

“Partly.” He says, his thumb stroking your back. “People like to stare, they like to talk.” 

“I don’t care about the scars.” You say quietly. “You all have them. Just...makes me worried thinking about the things that caused them.” 

He hums quietly, the sound vibrating in your ear. “Some scars are symbols of survival. Things that almost killed us, that should have. Some are old wounds the body won’t let go of.” 

“That’s very poetic.” You murmur. 

His hand squeezes your side. “Don’t tell Johnny. He’ll never let me live it down.” 

A sleepy smile tugs at your lips, the exhaustion of the day and the bliss from the events of the last hour begin to drag your mind into the realm of sleep. Simon reaches for your lamp, shutting it off, bathing the room in near darkness.The dark doesn’t scare you anymore, not with Simon here. His violence and brutality should scare you, but instead, it only makes you feel safe. He’d make anyone who dared to try and hurt you pay. 

“Sweet dreams, Simon.” You murmur, a quiet purr rumbling in your chest, content as you drift off to sleep. 

It’s light out, the first rays of sunlight streaming through your window. You rub your eyes from the offending light, reaching for your sheets to tug them over your head but they’re caught around something. Your elbow knocks against something solid as you try and pull them up, a quiet grunt sounding beside you. 

Arms wrap around you, pinning you against a solid warmth. “Stop movin’.” Simon grumbles, tossing a leg over you to keep you still. 

You’ve traded places with him in the night, his back against the wall as you lay stretched out on your back. A quiet purr starts rumbling in your chest as the memories from last night begin to seep through your half-awake brain. He stayed the whole night with you. You had half expected him to get up, to leave, to wake up early, stick to his normal routine. Instead he’d stayed, even far later than he usually would. 

You turn your attention to the arm wrapped around you, your eyes trailing his tattoos. You’ve never seen them this close, able to make out the details of them now. Your fingers begin to trace his tattoos, working your way up his arm until you reach his sleeve, pushing it up as you continue to follow the tattoos all the way up to his shoulder. It’s when you get there you see something familiar. You hold his sleeve out of the way as you trace over the three images. 

“You got a tattoo for each member of the pack.” You say quietly. 

“Almost.” He says, tightening his hold around you. “Missing one.” 

You turn as best you can to look up at him, the meaning of his words not lost on you. His eyes are still closed, and had you not known better, you might have guessed he was still sleeping. His breaths are slow and even, his body still and relaxed. 

“What are you going to get?” You ask. 

“Haven’t decided yet.” He says simply. 

You turn in his grasp, managing to free one of your legs so you can toss it over his hip as you snuggle in close to him. “You could get a kitten, since that’s what Johnny calls me.” 

He snorts. “Absolutely not.” 

“Why not?” You say. “A fluffy little kitten would be cute!” 

“It would throw off the aesthetic.” He says, squishing you up against his chest. 

“Can I go with you when you get it?” You ask. 

“We’ll see.” He sighs, adjusting his leg between yours. 

You bite your lip as it presses against your mound. How easy it would be to press your hips down, grind against him. There’s still a warm electric current thrumming through you from the events of last night. Things have moved fast between you. You’ve gone from thinking he hates you to masturbating in front of each other in a matter of weeks. The leaps you’ve made between the two weeks he was gone almost seem surreal. Does he regret last night? Will he change his mind, retreat back into himself once the reality sets in? You had thought there was no going back once he stepped into your room, but in reality, he could decide to pull back, he could decide this isn’t what he wants after all. 

You’d let him. You’d watch him revert back into himself, face the pain of rejection and acknowledge that what you wanted turned out to be nothing but a dream. His comfort matters more than your needs. You’d fight to cling to the fraying bonds for nothing else besides the sanity and stability of your pack. His rejection would slice clean through those supposedly indestructible bonds, disrupting the dynamic of the pack. It would fracture, crumbling like a building with a structural failure. The bonds that they built with each other, the bonds they’ve built with you will snap leaving decaying waste with you and Johnny caught right in the middle of it all. 

You’ll do everything in your power to cling to those decaying edges, frantically gluing them back together like omegas are supposed to. Fight to hold the pack together while the betas desperately try to resolve the tension and keep everyone sane. It will be the end of the pack, the initiative will be a failure. 

Maybe you shouldn’t have pushed so much. It’s all going to go down in flames because of you. 

“You’re thinking too much again.” 

The quiet rumble of Simon’s voice pulls you from your spiraling thoughts. It drags you back to reality, back into your body from the quickly deepening hole of worry and fear in your mind. Your eyelids flutter as you take a deep breath, the musky scent of alpha clearing away the haze that had come over your mind. You’re still laying in Simon’s arms, pressed up against his chest, his thigh pressed between your legs. 

“How do you always know?” You murmur, snaking your arm around his side. 

“You have tells. You freeze, staying so still even the best snipers in the world would be impressed. You get this glazed over look in your eyes, and your scent changes depending on what you’re thinking about.” He says, tightening his hold around you. 

“You notice all of that?” You ask in amazement and embarrassment that he can read you so easily. You’re still not used to it, his uncanny ability to just know things when it comes to you. 

“‘S part of my job,” He says, shifting slightly closer to you. “What makes me so good at it.” His face presses against the top of your head as his thigh shifts between your legs, putting even more pressure against your clothed pussy. “You’re overthinking this, aren't you.” 

“I just...” You let out a shuddering breath, trying to ignore the throbbing between your legs. “I need to know if you regret last night.” 

A low grumble vibrates through his chest before you find yourself suddenly on your back under him. It happened so fast your brain can’t even register it completely, his hand is gripping your thigh, the one you had thrown over his waist, keeping it hooked over his hip. He’s pressed between your legs, body slotted against yours like he was made to fit there perfectly. Hard edges pressed against your soft curves. 

“Does this feel like regret to you?” He says, voice rumbling deep in his chest as he presses his hips into yours. 

You can feel him...all of him through his briefs as he presses against you, nothing but thin fabric separating you. He’s just as big as you imagined, long and thick and throbbing. He drags his hips along your covered slit, closer than he’s ever been to you. The electrifying moment during training is almost nothing compared to the feeling of him pressed against you. 

“No.” You squeak out, wrapping your arms around his back as he continues to grid against you. You can feel every inch of him against your quickly dampening underwear, the fabric sticking to you and providing delicious friction with every roll of his hips. 

Your hands slip under his shirt, your palms pressing against the warm skin of his lower back. A shudder runs through him, dragging a low growl from his lips. He releases you just long enough to tug his mask up over his mouth before he descends on your neck, your head tilting to the side to give him room. 

The front of his briefs are quickly getting wet from the slick coating your thighs and his precum. Your nails sink into his skin as his teeth scrape across your throat, his tongue following to ease the sensitive, stinging skin. 

“Simon,” You whimper, pressing your hips up against him, desperately seeking relief from the ache building in your core. 

He lifts his face from your throat, your lips clashing against his in a mix of teeth and tongue. His hand slips up to cup the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair. He uses his hold on you for leverage as the drag of his hips becomes almost violent. You can imagine it, the feeling of his cock thrusting into you, reaching so deep you can feel him in your stomach, the way you’ll ache for days after he’s done with you. 

“Simon, fuck...” You whine against his lips, your legs shaking as you get closer and closer to the edge. “Please!” 

His grunts and moans have turned into growls, low and deep in his chest. It sends a shiver up your spine, your omega rolling in your mind, scratching to be free. You sink your teeth into his lower lip until you taste blood, the air between you quickly becoming primal. His hand tugs on your hair, pulling your head back until your throat is bared to him. He sinks his teeth into the skin, biting until you yelp. He eases back, dragging his tongue over the sore spot. 

Your moans get louder as you get closer and closer to the edge, every sharp bite of his teeth into your neck sending a shockwave of pleasure straight to where his cock drags against your clit. You feel alive, your vision getting sharper as you get closer and closer to your orgasm. 

“Simon....Simon please.” You whine, clutching him to you so tightly it almost hurts. “I need you. Need you to rearrange my guts, fuck me until I can’t stand. Make me hurt, remind me that I’m yours.” 

A low growl reverberates in his chest, vibrating through your entire body. Your thighs squeeze around his hips, hanging onto him for dear life as he ruts against you like an animal. “Say it again.” He growls, his teeth scraping the sensitive skin of your ear. 

“I’m yours.” You gasp, your back arching. “Have been since the first day.”

“Fucking hell.” He grunts, grinding his hips against yours with so much force the headboard bangs against the wall. 

You cum almost instantly, soaking your underwear and his briefs. He shoves his face into your throat, inhaling deeply against your scent gland. His hand grips the pillow next to your head, his body tensing as his hips jerk against yours. Warmth coats his briefs as he spills into them for a second time in the last day, a deep growl rumbling in his chest as he nearly goes limp on top of you. 

Both of you lay there, shaking and twitching in the aftershocks of your orgasms. It’s hot and stuffy in the room, the heat from Simon’s body not helping any. For a moment you wonder if he’s fallen asleep again from how still and relaxed he is, but the twitch of his body as you soothe your hands over the marks you’ve left on his back says otherwise. 

“Simon?” You speak his name quietly in the sudden stillness of the room. 

“Soon.” He says, slowly beginning to untangle himself from you. “I’ll give you what you need soon.” He presses a kiss to your cheek, shockingly soft compared to what had just transpired. 

He slips a hand around your back, flipping the two of you again as he flops on his back on your bed. You fall against his chest, resting your head over his heart. Despite the exertion, it’s thumping steadily and evenly. Your pussy clenches at the thought of his stamina, how long he’ll be able to go. You’ll tire before him, nothing but a boneless, babbling omega as he fucks you blind and unconscious. 

The moment is ruined by the knock at the door, both of you tensing for a moment. 

“If you don’t hurry, you’ll miss breakfast.” John’s voice sounds from the other side. 

Your cheeks warm at the idea of him hearing what had just transpired. How long has he been standing out there, waiting for you to finish? Does he think Simon was just fucking you, or does he somehow know you had just been rutting away like two eager pups? You can picture the tent in his pants, the way he adjusts the painful bulge at the thought of you being taken by his second alpha. He’s been waiting for this, for the walls to finally come down, for you and Simon to finally release that pent up energy and remove the weight that has been hovering over everyone’s heads. 

“Come on,” Simon says, sitting up with you in his arms. “Need to get some food in you.” He stands, still holding you like it’s nothing to him. It probably isn’t, but the thought has your face nearly bursting into flames. 

He sets you back on your feet, his hands lingering on your sides. You stare up into his eyes, getting lost in the beautiful brown irises. He holds your gaze for a moment before delivering a sharp swat to your ass. 

“Get yourself cleaned up, then we’ll go.” He pulls away from you, grabbing his jeans off the end of your bed. 

You stare at his ass as he bends over to pull them on, an idea popping in your head. “Wait,” You say before he can leave, pulling off your panties. You tuck them into his back pocket, giving it a firm pat. “Keep them.” You stand up on your toes, kissing his cheek before scurrying off to the bathroom before you get distracted again. 

You’re still shaking as you tug your shirt over your head. You look like you’ve been mauled by an animal as you stare at yourself in the mirror. There’s marks across your neck from Simon’s teeth, and your hair is a tangled mess from his hands. Your thighs are trembling a bit as you stand there, your slick drying uncomfortably on your thighs. Your lips feel bruised as you quickly brush your teeth before stepping into the shower. 

The excited tremble of your hands makes holding the body wash a struggle. You still feel electric, your mind rushing from not one but two very intimate moments between you and Simon. If this is how you feel now, you can only imagine how you’ll feel after actually having sex.

You feel a bit sore as you get dressed, doing your best to hide the scattering of marks across your skin. You don’t really have to hide them. Everyone knows you fuck the members of the 141. The images that must flash through their minds when you walk around with them. Do they think you take all of them at once? On your knees as they stand around you, being a good omega for them like in some cheesy porn video? Or bent over, presented for them as they make a mess of your pussy, fucking each other’s cum into you until you can’t hold anymore and it seeps out, leaving you laying in a puddle of it?

Your pussy clenches at the thought, warmth starting to pool in your stomach again. 

“Down girl.” You say, talking to yourself as you slip on your shoes. “We’re not there,” You straighten back up, smoothing your hands over your shirt. “Yet.” 

You take a deep breath, trying to steady the excited thrumming between your legs as you step out into the hallway. Simon is waiting for you, having changed clothes, or at least you think so. He’s in a black t-shirt and jeans still, his most common uniform when he’s not in training. 

“Come on, let’s go.” He says, motioning towards the door with his head. 

He didn’t change his shirt. 

The overwhelming scent of alpha and sex and you is wafting off of him. He might as well be wearing a bright neon sign declaring what you were up to this morning. Your omega purrs at the idea of him being coated in your scent, staking your claim over him. Maybe you shouldn’t have showered after all, wanting to wear a matching scent projecting his own claim over you. 

The mess is sparsely occupied this late in the morning, something you’re silently grateful for. Had you walked in during the peak breakfast time, you might have died on the spot. Most don’t pass a glance your way, only those you pass by directly giving you both a second look. 

Simon yanks your tray from your hands as you grab one, setting it down on the counter next to his. He begins spooning food onto it, adding the things you like. You stare at your tray wide-eyed as he fills it, your omega practically preening. 

He doesn’t even let you carry it to the table, setting it down next to his. You beam up at him as he stares down at you, unable to hide your smile. 

“What?” He asks, his eyes scanning your face. 

Your smile widens. “Thanks for making my tray.” 

He glances down at your full tray before looking back at you. “Sit down and start eating.” 

You can’t stop smiling as you sit on the bench, Simon going to get you something to drink. The activities this morning have left you hungry, hungry enough that the mess food looks appetizing. Simon returns quickly, setting a cup of tea down in front of you. 

“Tea?” You ask, staring at it.

“Yeah. ‘S good for you.” He says, starting in on his own breakfast. “Better than that sugary milk you call coffee.” 

“But you put sugar and milk in your tea.” You say, looking up at him. 

He turns to you, giving you an exasperated look. “Anyone ever tell you you’re annoying?” 

“Yeah. All the time.” You say, taking a bite out of the sausage on your fork. 

“Little shit.” He murmurs under his breath, turning back to his own tray. 

You both eat in comfortable silence, no awkward or tentative energy between you like you had worried there would be after the events that transpired over the last few hours. There’s no dancing around each other anymore, the forced distance dispersed between you. It makes you happy, your omega satisfied as your pack now feels complete. 

You almost feel like skipping as Simon leads you back to the barracks. You slip your hand into his, swinging your arms back and forth. He doesn’t pull away or even complain at your actions, letting you have your moment. Who knew he was such a big softie underneath all that armor? 

Well, you sort of knew the whole time. He could have been mean. He could have been nasty towards you, forcing you into a corner made up of only you, John, and Kyle. He could have kept Johnny from you, drawing that line in the pack and keeping you on one side. He could have let you face the consequences of punching that alpha on your own. So many times he could have left you on your own, been rough with you, let things escalate until he was violent, let his anger win and use it against you as many alphas do. 

But he didn’t. 

Even in his early avoidance of you, he was never a bad alpha towards you. He might not have liked you at first, or approved of your presence, but he never took it out on you. He put up with you because he had to, until his hesitant tolerance grew into more. You had wiggled your way in without even knowing it, long before you started trying, long before you became determined to win his approval for your sake, as well as the rest of the pack’s. 

Look at you now, holding his hand after he made you orgasm an hour ago. You would have never thought you’d get to this place with him back then. You’ve surpassed the point you wanted to get to, but you’re certainly not going to complain. You’ve gotten what you wanted, and from the sounds of it, so has he. 

It’s been two days since Simon’s return, and he has yet to fuck you. The marks on your neck have begun to fade, and you wonder if he’s waiting until they’re gone so he can make new ones. He certainly hasn’t been ignoring you, no he’s been quite clingy. He sits close to you, holds your hand every chance he can. He’s been filling your trays at meals when he takes you to the mess, something John is content to let him do. 

Your omega is satisfied, still preening at the idea of him courting you. You certainly won’t complain, nor will you try to stop him. He could claim you too, if he wanted. He could have claimed you from the start and you would have let him. Back then it would have been because it was your duty to do what your pack wanted. Now it would be because you want him to. You want to be his, just as much as you’re John’s. 

You won’t tell him that, though. Not yet. You don’t want to push him, to seem like you’re trying to move too quickly. You don’t want to scare him off now after making so much progress. That can be a conversation for later, once the two of you have adjusted to this new development in your relationship. 

An excited shiver trails down your spine as you stand outside the door. It’s early, but the world outside is grey with the coming dawn. Your heart jumps as the door in front of you opens, Simon pausing as he exits his room. He blinks down at you as you grin up at him, obviously not expecting you to be up and ready before him. 

“Ready to go?” You say, bouncing excitedly on your toes. 

He rolls his eyes at you, pulling his door closed behind him. “You’re in far too good a mood for 4:30 in the morning.” 

“I’m excited.” You say, taking his arm as you walk down the hallway. 

“And far too happy.” He says as you step out into the cool morning air. 

“I am happy.” You say, leaning your head against his arm. “You make me happy.” 

He lets out a sigh, and you can almost hear him rolling his eyes at you. “Don’t make me regret this.” 

You pause outside the door to the gym, looking up at him. “You don’t, do you?” 

He stares down at you for a long moment, your heart beating in your ears. You don’t want to scare him off with your happiness, the glee you can’t control at the relief of finally being accepted by him, of finally feeling like your pack is complete. 

“No.” He says, opening the door for you. “Now get your ass inside.” 

Relief floods through you, a smile tugging at your lips as you step into the gym. It’s quiet inside, quieter than normal even for 4 AM. 

“Most of them are out running drills today.” Simon says as he leads you down the hallway to the training room. “Base will be quiet.” 

“Won’t catch me complaining.” You say as you step into the training room. 

Simon locks the door behind you, setting his things on the bench and kicking off his shoes. You stare at him shamelessly as you follow him onto the mat, unsure whether you should thank or curse the grey sweatpants hugging his ass. 

He turns to face you and you decide to curse them, warmth flooding through you. Your mind flashes back to the morning after his return, the feeling of his cock grinding against you, his teeth sinking into your skin, leaving marks all over you. 

Fuck this is going to be a long training session. 

You’re half distracted as he runs you through combinations, most of your punches missing, your kicks almost half-hearted as most of your energy is pulsing between your legs. You keep messing up, punching at the wrong time, the order getting messed up in your mind. Agreeing to train today was probably a bad idea, given the uncontrollable lust that’s been plaguing you. Being so close to Simon and his scent isn’t helping either. 

You mess up another combo, half distracted, half dazed as you throw a punch, missing the mitt entirely. Simon lets out a frustrated growl, moving before you can even think to block yourself as he drives his shoulder into the center of your chest. You fall flat on your back, the air leaving your lungs with a sharp gasp. 

You lay there, coughing and gasping as he comes to stand over you, staring down at you disappointedly. “You’re distracted.” 

“Yeah,” You cough out, trying to catch your breath. “You keep fucking with my head.” 

“Half of fighting an alpha is a mind game. They’re going to fuck with you, because it will work.” He says, lowering himself to his knees over you. 

“Yeah, but this is different.” You say, your breathing finally returning back to normal. 

Or it was. Your inhale catches in your throat as he leans over you, his hands settling on either side of your head. “How?” He asks, his voice rougher than it had been. 

You take a deep breath as you stare up at him, feeling very small in this position, but you know he’s doing it on purpose. “I don’t want you to fuck with my head,” You say, trying to gain the upper hand. “I want you to fuck me.” 

Your words stun him for a moment, and you take the opportunity to try and reverse your positions. You swing your fist towards his side, aiming for the spot below his ribs. He recovers faster than you thought he might, catching your hand before you can make contact. He pins it to the mat beside your head, pinning your other hand on the other side. You try to use your knees to hit him, but he settles his weight over you, effectively pinning you to the mat. 

The position is reminiscent of the morning after he returned, his body pressed into yours, clinging to you as you both chased your orgasms. It sends a shiver down your spine, your body shuddering under him. His grip around your wrists shifts, pulling your hands over your head. He holds them with one of his own hands, keeping them pinned to the mat. A thrill shoots through you as you stare up at him, his body shifting to the side. 

“You want me to fuck you?” He growls, lifting his mask up to his nose. “Want me to take you right here where anyone walking by could hear you screaming my name? Where they could stand at the door jerking themselves off like needy pups, hoping to get just a whiff of your scent?” 

You would let him. He could take you right now on this mat and you wouldn’t care. Heat is pulsing between your legs, slick soaking your underwear and quickly beginning to seep through to your leggings. 

“Yes!” You whine, clenching your thighs together, seeking out any kind of friction you can get. “Please!” 

His free hand grips your chin, fingers pressing into your cheeks to force your mouth open. He leans over you, holding your gaze as he spits into your mouth. Your whine is cut off as two of his fingers follow, pressing against your tongue. They taste salty from the sweat on his hands, yet you don’t care, licking the sweat from his skin. The pulsing of your pussy is starting to get to be too much, your thighs rubbing together in a desperate attempt to ease the ache. 

You moan around his fingers, laving your tongue over them as he shifts his gaze to your legs, watching you squirm and writhe. You can hardly stand it, his scent getting thicker and thicker in the air as he begins to get aroused as well. You nip at his fingers, trying to get him to pull them from your mouth. 

“Please!” You gasp as soon as your mouth is free. “Fucking touch me, Simon!” 

It’s like he had been waiting for your permission as his hand slips between your clenched thighs, cupping you over your leggings. You press your hips into his hand, grinding against him in desperate need for release. 

“What, you want this?” He says, rubbing his hand along your clothed slit. 

“Yes!” You almost sob, squeezing your thighs around his hand. “Please, Simon! Please!”

You lift your head as he slides his hand up your pelvis until it’s resting right at the waistband of your leggings. His eyes are on your face as he slowly pushes his fingers under the fabric, trailing lower and lower until he reaches the top of your mound. Your breath hitches in anticipation, lips parted as your chest heaves with every breath. So close. You’re so close to finally being touched by him. So close to getting relief. 

Your head falls back against the mat, a loud moan slipping from your lips as he finally slides his fingers lower, the rough pads brushing over your clit. “Fuck...” You whine, letting your legs fall open as he begins to circle the sensitive bud. 

It’s more than you could have imagined, better than you would have ever thought, and all he’s done is rub a few circles over your clit. His touch is electric, lighting a fire in you again, sending shocks straight through your nervous system and into your brain. You push against the hand holding your wrists but he doesn’t relent, not letting you touch him like you so desperately want to. 

His fingers leave your clit, sliding lower until they’re pressed against your hole. You shift your hips against his hand, trying to get even some relief from the ache that’s been throbbing between your legs for two days. You’ve avoided even touching yourself, wanting to make sure you were still sensitive and ready for when Simon decided he was ready. You’re glad for that now as Simon presses two of his fingers into you, your walls clamping down around them tightly. 

“C’mon,” He groans in your ear, his tongue darting out to lick at the sweat dampening your face. “Relax for me.” 

You breathe deeply, trying to get yourself to relax as he pushes his fingers further into you. His fingers are so long and thick, his knuckles catching at your entrance. 

“This tight around my fingers, how are you gonna take my cock?” He groans, thrusting his fingers gently to try and open you up for him. 

“I can take it.” You pant, bucking your hips against his hand to take his fingers deeper into you. 

“Been a while since someone fucked you, huh?” He says, beginning to thrust his fingers in and out of you. 

“Weeks.” You whine, your pussy fluttering around his fingers in relief. “Not since before you left.” 

“Oh?” His brows raise in surprise. 

“Missed you too much.” You gasp as he speeds up the movements of his fingers. “Didn’t want to.” 

“You were hoping I’d fuck you when I got back, huh.” He says, curling his fingers inside you. “Give this poor neglected cunt some attention.” 

You let out a moan that’s almost a sob as he finds that spongy spot inside you, directing the movements of his fingers directly against it. Your hands close into fists, pushing against his but he doesn’t let you go, starting to nearly pound his fingers against that spot. 

It’s too much and not enough all at once, your body starting to shake almost violently as pressure builds in your stomach. You’re being loud but you don’t care, unable to hold anything back as pleasure ripples through you, nearly blacking out your vision. You writhe on the mat, legs shaking as your feet plant on the floor, lifting your hips up against his hand. 

“That’s it.” He groans, the wet squelch of his fingers obscene in the quiet training room. 

Your body writhes from the intensity of your pleasure, tears leaking from your eyes uncontrollably. You can’t tell if you’re moaning or sobbing or both as pleasure cuts like a knife through you, toes curling and uncurling in your shoes. It’s like you’ve lost all control, your body given over to the pleasure as his fingers are pushed out of you from the force of your orgasm, fluid soaking your underwear.

You’re shuddering and shaking under him as his fingers return to your clit, rubbing it harshly. It’s almost too much, your pussy contracting almost painfully. A second orgasm is forced out of you, your thighs clamping together, your leggings soaked with fluid between your thighs. 

Simon finally relents, pulling his fingers from your pants. They’re soaked, shiny and slick with your release. You’re gasping for air, body still shaking in the aftershocks of your orgasm. 

“Good girl.” Simon praises you, wiping his hand on his sweatpants as he leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead. It’s strange, the tenderness after what he had just done to your body. 

And that was only with his fingers. 

He eases you up to sit, your legs trembling uncontrollably. You’re not sure how you’re even supposed to stand on them, much less walk. There’s an uncomfortable wetness between your legs, your panties and leggings sticking to your skin. 

“Easy.” He says, supporting your body as you try to rise to your feet. 

There’s a small puddle where you were laying, the outline of your body in sweat on the mat and then more fluid beneath where your ass had been. Simon lifts you into his arms, carrying you over to the bench before sitting you down. He wipes down the mat, cleaning up the mess you left before he approaches you again. 

“What was that?” You ask, shifting uncomfortably in your wet underwear. 

Simon smirks, slipping his phone and keys as well as your phone into his pockets. “Made you squirt, love.” 

Your mouth falls open, your thighs subconsciously clenching together. “You-what?” You blink in surprise. “Didn’t know I could do that.” 

He chuckles, lifting you into his arms again. “Gotta know what you’re doing to make it happen.” 

Warmth floods your cheeks as the double meaning of his words aren’t lost on you. You’re glad for the cool air outside as he carries you back towards the barracks, your legs still trembling a bit from the intense orgasm he had just given you. You’re glad the base is mostly empty, the thought of others knowing what he had just done to you is almost too much. 

“What happened?” Johnny asks as soon as Simon enters the door of the barracks, his eyes flickering back and forth between you. “Didnae hurt her, did ye?” He asks, getting defensive. 

“Quite the opposite.” Simon says, walking past him towards your door. “Taught her a little party trick.” 

Johnny’s nostrils flare as your scent finally hits him, his eyes going wide. “Fucking christ, Simon.” 

He starts towards your door as Simon sets you on your feet, but the alpha pushes him back, keeping him from entering your room. “Easy, mutt. She’s had enough this morning. Let’s get some food and liquids into her first.” 

Your pussy clenches in anticipation at his words and you quickly close the door before you, or they, change their minds. 

You’re not quite sure what to do as you stand in front of the open door, peering into a space you’ve never been in before. It almost feels wrong to take the step, to enter into sacred ground you’ve been kept out of until now. The space is plain and laid out not entirely unlike your own. There’s books lining the back of the desk, a box with what looks like records sitting on the floor next to it, and what looks like a painting hanging on the wall. The wardrobe is exactly where yours is, and you can assume there’s a dresser behind the door. 

“You going to come in or do I have to drag you?” 

You startle at the voice, lifting your gaze to Simon’s. He’s standing in the middle of the room, staring at you as you hesitate in the doorway. You swallow the lump in your throat, taking a step into the room, and then another. 

All feelings of plainness go out the window as you step further in. His bed is the same as yours, sheets blue instead of black like you might have assumed. There’s a nightstand next to the bed with a lamp and his phone, but that’s not what’s surprising to you. 

Across the wall behind his bed is a black and white mural of skulls stretching wall to wall, ceiling to floor. You stare at it in awe, taking in all the details, the shading, the realism. 

“Johnny did it for me.” Simon says, stepping up next to you. “Not long after I claimed him.” 

“It’s incredible.” You say. “Very fitting.” 

“Might need to commission him for another piece, one of the ones he’s done of you.” 

Your cheeks warm at his words, very aware of Johnny’s stash of drawings of you from pictures he’s snapped while you weren’t looking, and some while you were. You’d flipped through his sketchbook, just happening upon a rather detailed drawing of your tits when he’d grabbed it and quickly shoved it on top of his wardrobe. 

It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out what filled the rest of the pages in that book. 

“I’m sure he’d be happy to do one for you.” You say, turning to face him. “Maybe if you ask nicely, I could be convinced to do a custom reference for him.” 

His eyes darken as he stares at you, a low growl rumbling in his chest. Your teeth sink into your lip as you stare up at him, refusing to look away despite the strong musky scent rolling off of him. You stand your ground, pushing back against his attempts to make you yield, to make you submit. 

A shiver runs down your spine as he takes a step closer, and then another. You can feel the warmth of his body as he looms over you, his hand lifting to settle on your waist. His thumb brushes your side through your shirt, the heat of his palm radiating through the fabric. 

“You want me to fuck you?” He asks, his voice rumbling deep in his chest. 

“Yes, sir.” You respond. 

His hand tightens around your waist, his scent intensifying at your words. “Fuck,” He hisses, the front of his pants suddenly getting tighter. “Brazen little shit.” 

A smile tugs at your lips. “You love it.” 

“Mmm, you seem so sure of that.” He says, tugging the bottom of his mask up. 

“Because I am.” You say, lifting yourself up onto your toes. 

He bends down, meeting you halfway. Your lips clash in a fiery kiss, your hands lifting to grip his shoulders. His own slide down your sides to grip your thighs, lifting you into his arms. He walks backwards, kicking his door closed before pressing you up against it. 

You moan as your back hits the door, Simon’s tongue sliding into your mouth as soon as your lips part. The kiss is messy and rough, his fingers digging into your thighs as he pins you against his door. It’s finally happening, what you’ve been waiting for. Two long days you’ve been waiting and wishing for this moment. Simon’s bruising grip on your thighs, and the low rumbling growl echoing in his chest speak volumes of his own desire. 

His grip tightens on you, almost becoming painful as his teeth sink into your lip. You let out a surprised yelp as he breaks the skin, the coppery tang of blood filling your mouth. 

You nearly hit the floor as Simon wrenches himself away from you, stumbling back a couple of steps. He wipes the blood from his lip and you quickly purse your own lips to try and hide the blood. He turns his back to you, his shoulders tensed and slightly hunched. 

“Simon?” You take half a step forward, but he lifts his hand, making you pause. 

You stay where you are, staring at his back. You don’t want this to ruin things, to push him away from you. A little blood hasn’t stopped you so far, nor has a little pain. You can tell he’s nervous, though, on edge, and you know exactly why. 

“Simon?” You say quietly, approaching him slowly. 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He says, repeating the words he’s said over and over the last few weeks. It’s almost like a mantra now, and you can imagine it echoing over and over in his head. He turns his head to look at you over his shoulder as you reach him. 

“You won’t.” You say, putting your hands on his back, turning him slowly. “You haven’t so far. His eyes flicker between the healing marks on your neck, and your bleeding lip. “I trust you, Simon.” 

“You shouldn’t.” He says, his hands closing into fists. 

“Don’t be stupid.” You say, rolling your eyes. “We both want this. Denying it isn’t going to make anything better. I trust your ability to control yourself, and you have to trust that I’ll tell you if you go too far.” 

“What if I can’t stop?” 

“Johnny’s next door, and John is across the hall.” You say simply. “If nothing else, I’ll scream. They’ll know the difference.” You take his face in your hands, pulling him down slightly so you can look him in the eyes easier. “Let me be in control if you’re so worried.” 

A rumble vibrates deep in his chest at your words, his eyes flashing. Your thumbs stroke his cheeks, ghosting over his five-o’clock shadow. 

“The mask can stay on, hell all of your clothes can stay on.” You shrug. “I’ll take good care of you, I promise.” 

He stares down into your eyes for a moment before leaning forward, pressing a kiss to your lips. It’s softer this time, less heated and animalistic than before. 

Simon releases you, taking a step back. He unbuttons his pants, letting them drop to the floor, leaving him in just his briefs. He picks them up, folding them like he did two nights ago, draping them over the back of his desk chair. He hesitates for a moment so you take the lead, pulling your shirt up over your head. You drop your shorts as well, leaving you in just your bra and underwear. 

Simon’s eyes scan your body and you fight the urge to cover yourself under his intense gaze. He steps forward, his fingers reaching for you. They’re surprisingly soft as they trail up your arm, goosebumps forming on your skin. His eyes follow the path of his fingers before they reach the strap of your bra. He slips his fingers underneath, pulling it up before he releases it, letting it snap against your skin. 

“Take it off.” He says, a subtle growl underneath his voice. 

It sends a shiver down your spine, goosebumps forming all over your skin. “Thought I was in charge, Mr. Big Alpha Man.” 

“Little shit.” He breathes, letting out a long sigh. 

You reach behind you anyway, undoing your bra and letting it fall to the floor. 

“Christ.” He breathes, his eyes glued right on your tits. 

“Understanding all the hype now?” You smirk. “You can touch them if you’d like.” 

He curses under his breath but lifts his hands anyway, cupping your breasts. You bite your lip as he squeezes them gently, his eyes glued to your chest. 

“Didn’t take you for a tits guy.” You say, biting back a moan as his thumb brushes over your nipple. 

“I'm just full of surprises.” He says, earning a surprised yelp as he tugs harshly on your nipple. 

He leans down, dragging his tongue over the sensitive skin to soothe it. You let out a soft moan at the sensation, your hands lifting to grip his biceps. 

“Fuck,” He groans against your skin, straightening back up. “On the bed.” He says, motioning with his head. 

“Thought I was in charge.” You sass. 

“Thought you wanted me to fuck you.” He retorts. 

You open your mouth to argue but you can't. You know he's right, so instead you make your way to the bed, crawling onto the mattress, making sure he can see the damp spot on your underwear as you do. 

You pause when you hear crinkling, running your hand over the sheet. “A heat liner?” 

“Gotta protect the mattress.” He shrugs, approaching the bed. 

Your eyes widen as your face warms, the implications not lost on you. You think back to earlier in the gym, your face only warming even more. “Oh.”

He grips the back of your knees, tugging you to the edge of the bed, pushing your knees up. You're spread open in front of him, the damp spot on your panties only getting bigger as he stares down at the only barrier left between you. 

“You could take a picture.” You say as he stands there, frozen. “Something to remember me by.”

“Little shit.” He says under his breath, his hands sliding up your inner thighs until they reach your hips. 

His fingers curl under the waistband of the lacy black fabric, slowly dragging them down over your ass and then down your legs. He tosses the fabric behind him before parting your legs again. He's shamelessly staring at your glistening pussy, bare and spread open for him. 

A moment passes as he stands there frozen, and for a second you wonder if he's ever seen a pussy before, much less a naked woman. Obviously he has, based on what happened earlier. He’s experienced, and you try not to let the thought bother you, jealousy rising at the thought of his hands on another woman. Did she get to see his face? How vulnerable was he with her. 

You bring your attention back to Simon as he stands there frozen. “You okay?” You ask, pushing yourself up onto your elbows. 

He nods, eyes still glued to your pussy. 

You sink your teeth into your lip as you stare up at his mask-covered face. “Why don't you show me what you did in the gym earlier.” You suggest, finally getting him to react.

His eyes flash up to your face, his grip on your legs loosening. He stares at you for a second before letting them go completely. “Wait here.” He disappears into the bathroom for a moment before he comes out carrying a towel. 

He lays it on the floor beside the bed, looking between you and the towel for a moment before nodding in approval. You watch him as he grabs a pillow, slipping it behind you to prop you up before sinking onto the mattress next to you. He pulls one of your legs over his lap, and you hook an arm around the other one, getting the idea. 

Your eyes are glued to his hand as he drags it across your stomach, letting his blunt nails scrape across your skin. You shiver in response, goosebumps covering your skin again. His hand slips through your folds, gathering some of your slick on his fingers before he returns to your clit, circling it like he had earlier. You let out a sigh, relaxing back against the pillow as he teases the sensitive bud. 

Simon leans closer to you, pressing gentle kisses to your jaw. “Fucking beautiful omega.” He praises you, his teeth scraping your skin gently. “Been working me up for weeks, laying in here listening to you fuck the others, those sweet little sounds coming from you.” He groans into your skin, his fingers applying more pressure to your clit. “Had me in here wanking like some needy teenager, imagining it was me making you scream like that, like it was your hand on my cock.” 

His words make you shiver. You know he’s heard you, it was impossible not to, but you had always pictured him with ear plugs in or headphones on, trying to drown out the noise. Or maybe he always chose those moments to shower, trying to drown you out with the water. 

You hadn't considered that he'd be in here masturbating to the sound of you being fucked by the others. You certainly wouldn’t have guessed it was you he was jerking off to. You would have assumed his focus was on the others and the sounds of their pleasure. Your pussy clenches at the mental image of him in bed, fisting his cock, trying not to cum until you do. He knows what you sound like when you cum, he'd have figured that out quickly. He'd use that knowledge, edging himself until you came so he could cum with you. 

“Fuck...” You moan, slick dribbling out of you at the thoughts flashing through your mind. 

“Nearly blacked out when you let Johnny fuck you from behind the first time.” He groans, circling your clit faster. “Imagining you bent over his bed, split open around his cock,” He shakes his head. “Wanted to be in there, bend him over you and fuck him into you, get both of you desperate and needy, begging me for release.”

Your head tilts back, your legs shaking as his words nearly send you over the edge. The mental images are almost too much, the possibilities now that you've opened this door. 

You whine as his hand leaves your clit, his fingers closing around your jaw and pulling your head back up. “Keep your head up.” He says. “Want you to watch.”

You whimper as he returns to your pussy, dragging his fingers down your slit before pressing two into your slick hole. They slide in easier than they did this morning, your body opening to him in anticipation. He thrusts his fingers slowly, teasing you as he continues to work you up. 

“Wanna fuck you so full of cum you're almost bursting then let Kyle eat it out of you. Might let him fuck you after just to see the two prettiest members of the pack together.” He continues. 

You squeeze around his fingers, a loud moan leaving your lips. You could cum from his words alone and the mental images flashing through your mind. All the possibilities, all the opportunities that are now in front of you. 

He curls his fingers, finding that spongy spot again. You know what's coming, the anticipation building in your stomach as he begins to thrust his fingers against that spot. 

“Want Price to bend you over my desk, watch as he fucks you until you're a crying mess, and then it will be my turn.” He growls, pounding his fingers against that spot. “Make you forget your name, forget how to do anything but whine in pleasure.

You desperately keep your eyes on his hand as that overwhelming pressure begins in your stomach again, your moans getting sharper and sharper the more it builds. Your hips jerk uncontrollably as you nearly black out again, fluid squirting from you and into the air. Simon's fingers are forced out of you from the intensity of the orgasm, but he's not done as he begins frantically rubbing at your clit. Another orgasm is forced out of you from the hypersensitivity as you squirt again, soaking your pussy and the side of the bed. 

You let your head fall back as you gasp for air, your body shuddering uncontrollably in the aftershocks of such an intense orgasm. Simon leans down, kissing you like he wants to devour you as he slips his fingers back inside your spasming pussy. It’s almost painful, the sensations too much as he stretches you open again. 

“One more.” He groans against your lips as he starts bullying that spot inside you with his fingers again. “Give me one more.”

“Simon,” you grip the front of his shirt, the feeling almost too much as it builds faster this time. “Simon!” You let out a high pitched shriek, squirting again all over his hand and the floor. 

“That's it.” He groans, finally relenting as his wet hand comes to rest on your clenching stomach. 

Tears blur your vision as you lay there shaking, nearly having an out of body experience from the pleasure. It's painful, but not in a bad way. 

His hand slides up your body until he's gripping your jaw, turning your face to his. He kisses you roughly, forcing his tongue past your lips as he holds you there, your release dripping from your pussy onto the sheets. His kiss is all tongue and teeth, bordering on the animalistic violence that had almost taken over you both two days ago. It had thrilled and terrified you, how easily both of you got lost in the moment. 

You hadn't even been naked then. 

You don't ponder on it long as he pulls away from you delivering a slap to your pussy before he stands, watching the way you jerk from the sharp sting on the sensitive skin. You nearly cum from it, pussy clenching from how sensitive you are. 

He reaches into the top drawer of his nightstand, pulling out a bottle. He moves to stand between your legs again, letting them fall to the sides for a moment. You're limp as you stare up at him, not sure you could move your body at all if you had to. You're beginning to understand why he was so worried.

He palms at the very prominent bulge in his briefs, an excited thrill running through you as he slips his hands under the waistband, slowly sliding it lower and lower. You lick your lips as more skin is revealed to you, a trail of light hair leading to the thick shaft of his cock. It keeps going and going as he lowers his briefs, thick and long and an angry red color as the fabric finally drops out of sight. 

“Fuck...” You breathe as you stare at it, looking big even in his large hand. 

He moves closer, lifting your legs from where they're hanging over the side of the bed, pushing them up as close to your chest as they can get, essentially folding you in half. His cock drags through your folds, the head catching on your clit. It makes you twitch with every pass of his hips, your lips parting in anticipation. You could cum like this, your pussy still oversensitive from your three orgasms already. Four, if you count the one in the gym earlier. 

“You said you could take it.” He teases, his hands keeping your legs pressed back. 

You nod. “Uh huh.”

“Having second thoughts?” He smirks. 

You're not sure if it's your ego or your pride or just sheer determination that has you shaking your head. “Nope.” 

His smirk widens as he reaches for the bottle, popping the cap before squirting some lube on his cock and onto your hole. He tosses the bottle back onto the bed before rubbing the lube on his cock, dragging the head through your slick folds, spreading the cold lube against the heated skin. “Good girl.”

You shiver from the praise, your breath catching in your throat as he begins to press into you. The burning stretch is almost too much for your oversensitive walls despite the preparation he had given you. His fingers were nothing compared to his cock, and for a moment you regret not fucking one of the others in the two weeks he was gone. 

Your breaths are coming in high pitched gasps, broken by moans as he sinks into you, your legs shaking and he hasn't even fucked you yet. You could cum just like this, just from the stretch. You can feel all of him, every inch of his length, every inch of his circumference as your pussy gapes around him. 

“Wait,” You grip his wrists, his movements pausing. “Fuck, gimme a second.” 

His eyes are on you as you lay there, trying to relax around him, fighting desperately not to cum like this. He might as well be in your guts, and you're beginning to think you had been right in asking him to rearrange them for you. You lift your head, staring down between your legs. A low groan of astonishment leaves your lips. He's only halfway in. 

You let out a keening moan before you nod. “Okay, okay. Keep going.” 

If his cock is this big, you can't even imagine taking his knot. 

He sinks even deeper, moving slowly as he watches your face. Your eyes are on the ceiling, the stretch seeming almost endless as it keeps going and going. 

Finally he's seated inside you, practically snuggled up against your cervix, or at least that's what it feels like. You could cum just like this, laying here with your knees by your ears, stuffed full of Simon's cock. He wouldn’t even have to move, just stand there as you flutter around him, soaking his cock with your release. 

“Fucking hell.” He groans as you squeeze around him, his eyes closing as he takes a deep breath in. 

“Can't help it,” You moan, squeezing around him again. “So big.” 

He lets out a low groan, his hips twitching. “Tell me I can move. Let me fuck you.”

You're half tempted to stay silent, to lay here and see how long he lasts, how long he'll let you hold control before he takes over. A battle of wills, just as everything seems to become between you. Alpha versus omega, instinct versus instinct, willpower versus willpower. Just like every battle, though, you find yourself bowing, giving in, unable to fight the power he holds over you. It’s for a different reason this time, though, your desperation and neediness is just as strong as his. You’ve both been waiting for this, neglecting yourselves for far too long. 

“Fuck me, Simon.” You breathe, fingers gripping the sheets for dear life. “Fuck me till I can't remember anything but your name.” 

He lets out a low growl as he pulls back, drawing his cock out halfway before snapping his hips forward until they slap against yours. You yelp as your body rocks from the force of his thrust, not expecting it. He pulls his hips back slowly again before he repeats the motion, practically slamming into you. It hurts, stealing your breath away, but it leaves you feeling almost electric, pleasure bubbling under your skin.  

Slowly his thrusts get shorter, but they lose none of their force as he fucks into you roughly. You're creating quite the cacophony of sounds from skin slapping skin and the obscene squelch of your pussy to your high pitched keening moans and his deep growls. His eyes are glued to your face, watching the pleasure glaze over your eyes as you stare at the bulge in your stomach from his cock. 

He moves the pillow out from behind you, pushing you flat on your back as he folds his body over yours. He releases your legs, letting them drape over his shoulders as he continues to pound into you. There's a wild look in his eyes, your omega beginning to stir as your brain registers the shifting scents, the heavy musk in the room. 

Sweat has slicked your skin and Simon's, mixing where your skin is pressed together. He turns his head, licking the skin of your thigh, tasting the salty sweat. Your mouth feels dry as you stare up at him, wanting to sink your teeth into him and chew on him. You want to make him bleed, have him howling in pain as he stuffs you so full you'll be leaking for a week. 

You grip his forearms, your nails digging into his skin, making him hiss out a curse. A wild look flashes behind his eyes as he sinks his teeth into your thigh, clamping down as you continue to dig your nails into his arms, neither of you relenting. He shifts his hips just slightly, hitting a different angle that has you releasing his arms as pleasure wracks through you. He releases your thigh with a satisfied grin, fucking into at the new angle like a wild animal. 

Your body shudders, your moans muffling as he presses two of his fingers into your mouth again, pushing on your tongue. You choke around them, fighting every urge to sink your teeth into his skin until he releases you or you taste blood. 

“That’s it.” He grunts as you whimper desperately around his fingers. “You can take it.” 

Drool seeps out from around his fingers as he fucks you until you’re almost cross-eyed, your pussy spasming around him as every thrust brings you closer and closer to the edge. 

You can’t stop it as you sink your teeth into his fingers, your legs squeezing together as your body seizes, your release gushing around his cock as you cum. Your eyes roll back, blood on your tongue as he wrenches his fingers from your mouth. Your head tilts back, back arching as he doesn’t stop, undeterred by your orgasm. 

“Fucking hell.” He grunts, the clenching of your pussy almost painful as he continues to fuck you. “Fucking tight around me.” 

“Please, please, Simon!” You whine, the only two words you can pull from your brain, and even they begin to mesh together into mindless babble as you grip his sheets, nearly pulling them off the edges of the mattress. 

Tears leak from your eyes as he fucks into you so hard the frame shakes, knocking into the wall. He leans his head down, his teeth sinking into the skin over your collarbone until you bleed. Droplets of blood mix with the sweat dripping down your chest, Simon’s eyes following them as they disappear between your breasts. 

“Gonna cum for me again?” He growls, blood staining his lips red. He looks like a ghoul, wild eyed and bloody mouthed, feasting on your flesh. An incubus sucking the life out of you as he brings you endless pleasure. 

“Simon!” You squeal, eyes squeezing closed as you’re thrown into another orgasm, your legs shaking uncontrollably as you clench around him, almost as if your body is trying to suck his cock in deeper. 

He continues to fuck you, every curse word known to man spilling from his lips as you tighten around him, dragging his own orgasm from him. He slams his hips into yours, letting out a feral growl as he spills into you. Warmth fills your belly as he spurts his hot cum into you, filling you up. Your legs are shaking where they’re tossed over his shoulders, clenching around his neck. His skin is flushed red from the bottom of his mask to the collar of his shirt. 

You can’t move as you lay there, shaking in the aftershocks of your orgasm. You want to take a break, tap out, ask for five minutes and a glass of water, but from the look in Simon’s eyes you know it’s not over yet. There’s no taking a break, not that he’s gotten a taste of your pussy. 

He releases your legs, letting them drop off the side of the bed. He pulls away long enough to flip you over, bending you over the side of the bed. You whine as he presses his cock back into you, ignoring the squeeze of your sensitive walls as he splits you open around him again. He bends over you, pressing his chest to your back as his hips press flush to your ass. 

“Simon.” You whine, your hands gripping the sheets as his hand snakes around you, wrapping around your throat.

He growls low and dangerous, the sound vibrating through his chest and into your back. You squeeze around him, a chill running through you, your instincts telling you to run or roll over in submission to him. Your omega claws at your mind, desperate to meet him toe to toe, one for one. You begin to push your hips back into him, fucking yourself on his cock as his teeth sink into the skin on the back of your shoulder. The tables have turned, the control has shifted. 

He’s not Simon anymore. 

Your lips part in a gasp as he thrusts into you, meeting your own movements on his cock, reminding you who’s in charge, who holds the reigns in this position. The word comes tumbling from your lips, brainlessly and unconsciously, no thoughts there to stop it, your hands too busy clinging to the sheets for dear life to even prevent it from slipping out. 

“Alpha!” 

NEXT ->

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[jisungchan]

hot to go! | c.sn

or, when you meet one of your customers as a camgirl.

pairing/au: san and camgirl! fem reader, nonidol! au general content/summary: you meet (and fuck) one of your clients, emotions kinda talked about, hinting at wanting more, idk what else lmk, NO race specific descriptors (skin colour, hair texture, etc.), NO body type specific descriptors (size of reader body parts, BUT reader is alluded to being smaller than san i think, weight, etc.) genre: smut, fluff at the end

⚔︎ sexual content warnings (explicit): spitting scene (idk why these show up in all my fics...), bigdick!san agenda (always and forever), stomach bulge, raw sex (do NAWT do this), he does NAWT pull out (pls practise safe sex), f! and m! oral receiving, 3 diff positions because why not, three reader orgasms, marking and biting, a singular ass slap, soft dom!san, kinda sub!reader, a clit nibbling and pinching (i have no words), pet names (baby, sweet girl, angel, etc), a cutie lil aftercare moment, lmk if i forgot anything :D 

~6.1k word count nets: @mirohs-aurora-society and @illusionnet

a/n: thank u to the lovely folks over at @mirohs-aurora-society for helping me finish writing this !

do you ever think about how your life could be ruined in an instant? 

sure, the money and lack of a 9-5 job was glorious, but what would happen if people found out exactly why and how you were able to live like this? the lie you told your friends was that you worked as a copywriter. it was boring enough so there were no further questions asked, but also legitimate enough as to why you never go into an office. the truth is, you did work with technology, well, sort of. if you consider being an anonymous cam girl as working with technology, then, yes! you are still pursuing the traditional route, going to university to get your bachelor’s in some stupidly worthless major. your friends worked as waiters, baristas, uber drivers, and any other typical college job. you wanted an easy way to make money in the comfort of your own home, was that too much to ask for?

so, during one of the many nights you spent thrashing in bed, contemplating your life, you remember a remark one of your friends made to you years ago.

“why don’t you just become a pornstar?”

at the time, you laughed it off. there was no way you were comfortable putting everything out there for another stranger’s enjoyment like that. but, one lonely night, you decided to give it a try.

what’s the worst that could happen?

putting on the prettiest lingerie you owned, which happened to be a simple matching baby blue mesh set (what’s the need for lingerie when you barely have time for yourself?). you found a somewhat reputable website you stumbled across, and quickly signed up for an account. you put no thought into the username, simply opting for “blossomiebaby”, as you weren’t expecting this to last very long. you set up your phone on a tripod, one which you cannot remember why you bought, and started the stream.

at first, you were very awkward. if the 3 viewers could see your face, they would say you looked like a deer in headlights. you kneeled on your bed, whole body in view with the camera cutting off half way up your neck, keeping your face safely out of frame. 

the few viewers so far were giving you many compliments and also advice on what to do, how to pose your body, and other tips on helping you help them. after a few minutes, you grew more comfortable and started to move fluidly on your own, twisting and pushing your body to various positions that caused you to hear the donations pour in. you didn’t even undress, or do anything explicit, and somehow your first show did well. 

the next stream you did, you had a little extra preparation for. thanks for the generous donors in your first stream, you bought a new, actual lingerie set, a dildo, and some lube. the sex toy and lube sat out of view on your nightstand, you weren’t sure if you were ready to use it or not, so you thought it was best to leave that decision up to yourself. you slipped on yet another set, this time soft baby powder pink ruffled bloomers and a matching cropped dainty tank top, they both adorned bows in the centre and poofed out on your body beautifully. you felt a lot more comfortable this time around, expertly setting the camera up the way you like and laying on the bed. you laid on your stomach, rear tutted up and frilly lace covered feet swinging in the back as you teased your growing audience with a closeup of the lower half of your face. this time, your viewer count was growing by the dozens; it was near 100 when you climbed away from the camera, kneeling on the bed. your soft plush thighs splayed out as you sat on your knees, your thigh high socks stretching with the new position.

you toyed with the hem of your top, pulling it down to create a v-shape, exposing more of your collarbone and a bit of cleavage. you leaned forward again to give your viewers a close up, still hearing the steady flow of donation chimes coming through. this time, your head dipped to the bottom corner of the video as you displayed your deeply arched back and wiggling rear to the camera. 

that night, you hadn’t pulled out any toys, and even now that it has been about a year since you have started, you still haven’t shown much more. sure, you have gotten more generous with being a bit more revealing, but your private parts stayed private. what you do on stream those few days a week is seductively pose and fondle your body for your audience. however, you have upgraded to speaking to them now. you found adding the element of your voice has upped both your viewership and income. and some nights where you’re feeling extra nice, and needy, you tease yourself a bit through your bottoms, for both your relief as well as your audience. staring at yourself posing lewdly for hours sometimes makes you turn yourself on.  

another night, another stream. 

tonight’s outfit is something a bit spooky, it is the beginning of halloween month! tonight, you put on a sexy nurse costume. definitely basic, but also a crowd pleaser. the thin, tight white dress hugs your body perfectly, the red collar and details pop out against your skin tone. you also put on a pair of white lace thigh high socks, now a sort of staple of yours. you turn to set the camera up just the way you like it, hoping for another good night of work.

however, just before you start the stream, you notice a message from someone,

themountain: trick or treat? 

you giggle at the stupid line, but you would be lying if you said you weren’t curious as to where this was going. 

blossomiebaby: hmmm, treat? 

themountain: *$500 donation*

themountain: and if you want, i can still show you some tricks later ;) 

your jaw drops at the huge donation this ‘themountain’ user just sent through. the username seems vaguely familiar, but you don’t remember anything outstanding or specific about him. 

blossomiebaby: thank you mr. mountain man :) 

blossomiebaby: do you stream?

themountain: nah, but for you i’d do a private stream

and maybe it was the fact this man just dropped $500 on you, or maybe the fact that he seems so charming from the few texts, or maybe it was the fact you’re ovulating– but either way, you knew you had to take him up on his offer. 

blossomiebaby: are you comfortable with a two way stream?

blossomiebaby: wanna show my appreciation 

themountain: anything for you, baby

as you go on your laptop to invite him to the private stream, you feel insane. sure, you’ve had private streams for small groups of your highest paying customers, but nothing like this. with the two way stream, you would basically be on facetime with him. 

ding!

no turning back now.

the mysterious mountain user enters the stream, and you see the lower half of the screen flicker from black to a man’s broad chest and square shoulders. 

he sits in a very fitted black short sleeve compression shirt, it shows off his triangular stature as he waist disappears under the dim lighting. you can see a peak of what you presume to be grey sweatpants, typical manwhore outfit. 

you are sitting on your bed, knees bent as you press the heels of your feet into the mattress. you’re also at an angle against the camera, making your legs appear longer as you lean back on your hands set behind you. 

“awww, did i pull you away from streaming tonight?” the stranger lifts the camera up a bit, and you watch a dimple appear as he smiles while speaking. you unknowingly press your thighs together a bit to suppress the desire starting to flow through your body down to your core. 

you simply nod, too afraid to speak as your brain is slowly turning to mush. 

“i would say i’m sorry, but i’m happy to have you all to myself tonight.” he chuckles, those same dimples marking his face as he smiles. 

you giggle back at his comment, “so, what tricks do you have up your sleeve?” 

“hmm, well, it can be whatever you want. you seem a little nervous, so we can just talk.” this time when he smiles, there’s no playfulness behind it, it seems full of sincerity. 

you shake your head, but he tuts and starts making simple conversation. eventually, you move to a more comfortable position, sitting with your legs crossed in front of you as you drift off into conversation with him. 

it’s only when you get a notification that your laptop is about to die when you see the time, you had been chatting, nonsexually, with this strange man for over two hours. 

“i think i’ve kept you long enough, but i hope you enjoyed our conversation, it was nice getting to know you, blossom.” he says, his hands go upward to the mouse on his desk.

and you know it is definitely not the smartest move, but you can’t even think before you blurt out,

“can i give you my number?” 

a few weeks have passed, and you still do your streams. as it gets closer to finals season, you slow down a bit, wanting to focus on your academics and prioritising that over your income currently. however, the main thing that has now changed in your life is a constant you never thought would happen.

san

after he quadruple checked you were truly okay with giving him your number, he decided to give you his instead, in case you changed your mind. he said he wanted you to feel as comfortable and safe as possible, so he gave you the power to reach out to him instead. which you did, the next day. and ever since, you both have been texting and calling nonstop. and this is how you came to know more about the man behind themountain user, san. he also sent you a few photos of him, and wow, he is a gorgeous man. 

people always refer to women as beautiful and pretty, but san is the prettiest man you have ever seen. of course, his body is also mesmerising, but his face alone makes you think impure thoughts and pumps arousal through your veins. 

after a few weeks of texting, you still wanted more. but you were nervous, and you also didn’t know quite what you wanted from him. did you want to ask him on a date? he is local, but you also felt weird about asking him on a date, especially because of how you met. did you just want to meet up and hang out? but then, maybe he would get the wrong impression if you invited him to your place. i mean, it wouldn’t necessarily be the wrong impression, as you did spend many nights under your sheets thinking of him, but you thought that would be too forward, 

hey, wanna come over mine and fuck?

yeah, you definitely can’t say that. 

luckily, san was able to be on the same page as you. one night while you were studying, you got a text. you told him how you’ve been busy preparing for finals, and he respected you taking some time away from the internet. 

san: have you eaten?

y/n: no, been too busy studying :( 

san: that’s no good angel :( 

you smiled, as you read his texts, he was always so sweet to you and caring. it seemed like he cared about you more than just the nature of your job. it seemed like he saw you as a person, not just a body for his own pleasure. 

san: what do you want to eat? 

y/n: hmmm, i’ve been craving some sushi. maybe i’ll get some after i’m done.

you looked away at the time, it was starting to near 11:00pm, and you knew most places would be closing soon. in your mind, you already started thinking of what you could put together in your kitchen. 

san: that won’t do, how about i send some food to yours?

and if you thought san had made your heart skip a beat before, this time he truly did. you froze in place, staring at the message in the corner of your laptop until it swiped itself away. you open up the message thread and stare a bit more. 

san: i’m sorry, i can just send you some money to order it yourself, does that sound better sweetie?

it warmed your heart to think that he thought he crossed a line, but in your mind, it was quite the opposite. you looked over at your planner, you had finished everything due for the next few days, so you had a bit of time to spare. 

y/n: why don’t you just pick something up for us? i could use some company to distract me from school.

after hovering over the send button for a moment, you finally pressed down on it. you took another look at your message sent and shut your phone off, throwing it to the other side of the couch as you curled up and screamed. 

for someone who made a living off of seducing men, you sure didn’t have a lot of in person experience of dating and romance. 

and even though you threw your phone so you could escape his reply back, your laptop was still open, so you heard the ding! when he replied back 

san: just ordered it, send me your address so i can ease that pretty little head of yours 

another scream leaves your throat as you quickly send him your address before you can even think to change your mind. you stand up and shut the laptop, looking around your place. noticing the state of your home, you start manically cleaning up and trying to make things look as nice as possible. you didn’t know exactly where he lived, so you had to hurry in case he would be there soon. 

you ran to your room and did the same, throwing dirty clothes in the hamper and pushing it into your closet. you took a look at yourself in the mirror, the days of reading and being locked inside your place was evident on your face and body. you decided to take a quick shower, something you had been neglecting in favour of studying. after your place was straightened out and you threw on some more presentable clothing, which just happened to be an oversized tee and some soft shorts. even though san had likely seen a lot more of your body on camera, the thought of him seeing it in person sent shivers down your spine. 

and just as you sat back down with the recollection that he has never seen your face, you hear a 

ring!

shaken out of your thoughts, you shakily get up to walk toward the front door. you pause as your hand hovers over the door knob. once you open it, there’s no turning back. you open that door, and your identity is revealed, you’ll be letting a stranger come into your home which you have crafted to your safe space. after a few moments, you slowly unlock your door and turn it open. what if you’re getting catfished? what if this wasn’t some nice customer who you have befriended, but a crazed fan who’s going to harm you once you allow him in? it’s too late, the door is already cracked open, and all the person on the other side would have to do is fit their shoe in the opening to enter your place. but, much to your pleasant surprise, the door stays cracked. you can see a peek of the man on the other side, his physique seems similar to the man who you have been chatting with for the past few weeks, and it brings a small smile to your lips. he’s rocking on his feet, maybe he’s nervous too? 

“if you don’t want to let me in, i’ll leave the food here.”

there is a twinge of disappointment in his voice, but it’s mostly full of compassion. and just as you hear him place the bags on the floor and his heavy footsteps, you take a step back to swing your door open. 

“i’m sorry, come in san.” 

he turns back around quickly, just to see you bend down to pick the bag up and smile at him,

“it’s not like i’m going to eat all this food by myself.”

san follows you into your place, removing his shoes and hanging his jacket up. he stands awkwardly at your entrance as you place the bags on your coffee table and sit back on your couch. you turn around and giggle at his nervous state, it somehow puts you at ease to see him just as nervous, if not even more, than you. you motion him to come sit next to you, but he seems a bit frozen in place. 

of course, san knew you had a beautiful body, he would be lying if he thought otherwise. afterall, the way you two ‘met’ was through your body. however, after talking to you for the past few weeks, he has gotten to know you a lot deeper than just the lingerie you drape over your figure. he’s gotten to know more about your personal life, your likes and dislikes, your academic and career goals and endeavours, and everything else in between. he would be lying if he said he hasn’t fallen in love with you over these past few weeks. he genuinely wasn’t expecting it to happen, falling for a camgirl? before he thought that would be equivalent to falling in love with a hooker; it would take a fool to think they would want anything more than his money. but, he cannot stop the prominent beating in his chest as he walks over, seeing your face for the very first time.

seeing the last piece of the puzzle that was missing of you filled his body up with admiration. here you were, letting him in your home, seeing your face, and not in front of a camera. he’s seeing you in a state he never has before, actually covered in baggy clothes, hiding the figure he has only ever seen you flaunt. your face isn’t cut out of frame, but fully in front of his face, all just for him to go over and analyse each one of your gorgeous features. from the way your nose curves perfectly into your face, your eyebrows framing your eyes perfectly, and the small smile on your plump lips as he sits next to you as you open the bags up. 

“thanks for the food, and coming over. i’m sorry if it was a bit sudden.” you nervously say, shying away from his lingering fixation on your face. 

he stutters, “it’s no problem, i’m happy to help.” he smiles back at you, helping you untie the bags to get ready to eat. you reach for the remote as he lays down the food and drinks on the table. flipping through numerous streaming channels to land on the perfect thing to watch. your uneasiness quickly flows away from you, and it’s evident san is feeling the same. he’s no longer as tense sitting next to you, he rolls up his sleeves and relaxes into the cushions, widening his legs to get more comfortable. you can’t help but think how right this all feels. your thoughts no longer compile of anxiety and fear of the man sitting next to you, but instead morph into familiarity and comfort. you put on a random episode of the office and you both start eating the delicious food in front of you.

it’s quiet as you both eat and watch the show, only some small noises of you two enjoying the food leaves your mouths as you chew on the sushi and wash it down with drinks. 

the food is now long gone, and you both have somehow ended up lightly cuddling on the couch, eyes still glued to dwight and michael scott on the television. laughs and dry chuckles escape your lips at the stupid humour as you find yourself nuzzling into san’s chest with his arm draped around you. 

you both are made aware of your current position when netflix shines a notification on the screen,

are you still watching?

you scramble out of his grasp as you reach for the remote. however, in your haste, you drop both the remote and the remnants of your drink all over your shirt. you rush to stand up, droplets dripping from your shirt to your carpet. san stands up and rushes to the kitchen, grabbing some towels and water to clean up the mess on your carpet as you run to your bedroom. you close the door and stand against it, cursing for making a fool of yourself in front of him. you’re feeling flustered as you look down at your shirt, now stained from the drink and throw it off your now sticky body. you head straight to the bathroom, opting to take a quick shower so you don’t feel so gross. 

meanwhile, san has finished up getting the spill off your carpet, and the bit that was wasted on the sofa. he goes to the sink to wash the towels to his best abilities, and his mind starts to wonder what’s taking you so long to change. mindlessly, he follows the droplets to your bedroom door. he knocks, but when he doesn’t hear anything back, he gets a little anxious. you did seem quite upset when you spilled, so he doesn’t think twice when he opens the door to your bedroom after you don’t answer his knocks and calls. 

walking into your bedroom, he notices your shirt thrown on the floor and picks it up to place it in your poorly hidden, overfilled hamper peeking from your closet door. then, he hears a click!, and sees you walk out of the attached bathroom (which he wishes he would have noticed earlier), with your body naked and dripping wet. 

he hurriedly shuts his eyes, puts his arm over them, and turns away, just to be safe (as if shutting his eyes wasn’t enough). you quickly grab your towel off your bed and cover yourself with it. silence envelops the room as he stands there with his back toward you, and you can’t help but let your eyes traverse around the broad expanse of his back, his other arm dangling, sleeve still rolled up with veins running across up and down his forearms. you quickly and quietly dry yourself off and walk over to him, all logic escaping your mind as you nudge him to turn around. 

“i’m sorry, i just wanted to make sure you were oka–”

you cut him off with a gentle kiss on his lips. he just looked so cute standing there, like a deer in the headlights apologising profusely for invading your space. you didn't mind though, if anything, you’re starting to thank your clumsy self for knocking over the stupid drink. 

after san starts to realise what’s happening, his hands move to your waist, lightly groaning when he feels you’re still just in a towel. he presses your body impossibly closer to his, and you feel he strong torso against your chest as you strain your neck to kiss him back, hungrier this time. 

he pulls away from you for a moment, lust clouding his eyes as he stares at your face. instead of the admiration he had earlier, it has now been replaced with need and arousal, something dark takes his features over. but, before he can act out on them, he needs to make sure you’re okay with this. 

“you know, i didn’t come over here for this.” he whispers, his breath hot against your neck as he breathes in your freshly showered scent. 

“i know, which is why i want you.” you tug at his hair so he can look at you, so he can see how serious you are about this, about him. 

he wastes no more time as he gently shoves you to the bed, his body hovers over yours in a now heated makeout session. cleanliness is thrown out the window as you transfer spit from each of your mouths, desperate to feel him. you feel him poke in to explore your mouth, painting it with his tongue in every crevice he can find. one of your hands goes to his chest as the other goes back to his hair, tugging slightly to elicit beautiful groans from his mouth straight to yours. 

you’re starting to feel antsy, and as you’re wiggling around with need, your towels undoes itself. san pulls away again, this time shamelessly fucking you with his hungry eyes. wordlessly, he travels down your body, pressing wet kisses into your neck, chest, stomach, and thighs. you feel his hot breath fan across your growingly wet folds, and he looks at your pussy with such strong intent, you start to feel nervous. you go to shut your legs, but he uses his strong hands to pry them back open. he sticks out his tongue and licks a fat, wet stripe up from your pulsing hole to your throbbing clit. you moan and arch your back at the sensation. it’s been so long since you’ve had any type of real sexual release, and now that you’re getting it with the hottest man between your thighs, it makes your head swirl. 

he hooks an arm around your thigh and presses his hand onto your stomach, forcing you down to keep still as his tongue continues its assault on your leaking cunt. the way he sucks and nibbles on your clit has you seeing stars, and when he takes his other hand to barely poke at your hole, you cry out at the feeling. his thick digit presses in further into your fluttering hole, and you clench down at the initial feeling. having his mouth on you and his finger inside you feels so much better than your own, and even better than the firm silicone you’ve become accustomed to. he keeps his finger thrusting in and out at a steady pace before adding another. he increases his tongue’s pressure on your clit, large hand flexing as he uses his strength to keep your hips down. 

“taste so sweet, baby, wanna taste more.”

and with his delicate words whispered against your core, you come undone with one last suck on your clit and his fingers curling inside you. you throw your head back as he continues licking up all the mess you made from your orgasm, savouring the taste of you on his tongue. 

he sits on his knees before you, and you sit up on your elbows to watch him remove his top, putting his bare body on display for you. his strength was easily detectable even under his clothes, but now that he’s taken them off, you don’t think you can ever unsee him in this state.

he throws his shirt off, and his broad chest is rapidly rising and falling with his heavy breathing. a thin sheen of sweat glistens over his body, small droplets getting caught in the ridges of his muscles and expanding with his breathing. you follow a droplet down to his v-line, where the rest of him, the part you really want of him, stays barely hidden under his pants. you mindlessly go to reach for his bulge, already so prevalent, and you just know it’s bigger than any toy you’ve taken. your hand lands on his throbbing erection, and you feel it jump at your touch. san lets out a sigh or relief as his hips subconsciously buck harder into your palm. you go to undo his pants, anxious to see the rest of him. after hastily getting them off him, you see head on his cock slap up against his abs. it’s leaking precum, and its head is red with need. while he isn’t the girthiest, he is long. you sit up to trace your tongue along the veins that travel his shaft, ending up circling his tip with your tongue before you dive in to get a taste of his salty precum pooling at his slit. you wanted nothing more than to at least try to take all of him, but san has other ideas. 

“you’ve done enough for me, pretty, lay back.” 

you pout, still wanting to taste more of him as you push your head further down his cock. he hisses before pulling you back by the hair and shoving you down on the bed. 

“next time, but i need to feel you right now, baby.” he whispers into your ear. he’s on his elbow above you, your legs naturally split open to welcome his hips closer to yours. you feel as he prods his tip at your entrance, then he takes his fingers in a v motion to open you up prettily to him. he rubs the shaft of his hard-on between your folds, lubricating himself with your dripping arousal. you whine and reach a hand down, moving him back down to your waiting hole. he sits back up, understanding your silent pleas as he slowly starts to dive into you, inch by agonising inch. you flutter around him, not being used to being stretched out like this, and you witness as he throws his head back with a moan of his own. 

“fuck, no wonder you never showed this pretty little pussy of yours. so-so perfect.” san draws out, shallowly thrusting until he gets the okay from you. 

he looks back down to where you two are connected, and he swears he has never seen something as beautiful as his cock in you, how when he draws out a ring of arousal pushes up near his base. he puckers his lips as he lets a fat string of saliva fall from his lips, right onto your clit, falling as he pushes back in. you can only moan and claw at his muscular biceps, nodding your head fervently so he can start fucking you how you want, how you need him to.

“mm-mm princess. use your words like you do on cam, baby.”

and once san hears your small

“please”

there’s no more hope for him.

he grips your hips, thumbs pressing bruises into your pelvic bone as he wastes no time quickening his pace. his body is back on top of yours, and you feel the added stretch of your legs bending to accommodate him. the mixture of his precum, your arousal, and his spit, mixes together to make the loudest and nastiest noises you have ever heard, but you love it.

there is just something so carnal about the way he’s having you right now, thighs pressed against your chest and ankles around his neck. at this angle, you feel him even deeper, however that was possible. now, his hands move to cup your thighs, pushing them further into your torso like he was trying to break you. you feel the way his abs brush your skin every time he breathes, and his lips go to litter your face and neck with kisses and love bites. you feel pressure from everywhere, his large body barely hovering over you, hip lips burning their mark on your skin, his large hands pressing you deep into the mattress, and the way his cock fills up your poor cunt, who was trying its best to stretch for him. the way you feel the full extent of his force from both inside and outside of your body makes you feel like exploding, which is about to happen if he keeps it up like this.

all of the sudden, you feel a push at your calves, and find yourself being turned on your side, one leg straight and the other thrown at an angle to the side. most of your face is dug into the pillow as san keeps the same pace, thrusting into you over and over and over again. your body is contorted and twisted as you lay on your side, unfortunate for your hip that was supporting most of the damage. you throw an arm up to grip san’s forearm, digging your nails into his skin from pleasure. the new position has his hips slapping against your rear, and the echoes it makes causes san to lose all sense of reality. 

“fuck, you’re so perfect.” he groans as he takes a hand and squeezes your ass, then gives it a hard slap, causing you to yelp at the sensation. then, you feel both of his hands at your hips, manhandling you, once again, so you’re on all fours, all the while he’s keeping up his brutal pace. you however, cannot keep up, as you quickly end up with your face yet again buried into a pillow. san reaches down to take both of your wrists into one of his hands, pulling you up against him. he snakes down his other hand down to your clit while he peppers your face with his wet hot kisses and licks. you feel as he starts pinching and rubbing firm circles on your slit, and your body shudders at all of what he’s doing to you. 

“cum, please, let me cum.” you cry out, starting to buck your hips back to get you closer to the edge. 

he releases your wrists in favour of taking one of your hands to press down on your stomach. you can both feel the way his cock is rutting deep inside you, and your second release is oh so close once you reel in the feeling.

“go ahead, cum for me baby, want you to when you feel me cum inside you right… here.” he emphases his words as he forces your hand firmer on your stomach. you feel his thrusts starting to get more erratic, and you come undone just as you feel him sputtering deep inside you. 

he slows down, riding out both of your orgasms as you fall face first into the soft bedding below you. san releases your hips so your body lays flat on the bed, his seed starting to seep out of you. you turn on your side as you feel him nudge you to turn around. once you do, you find him fixated on your leaking cunt, threatening to spill on the (fortunately placed) towel under you. he takes his two fingers and pushes his cum back inside you, thumb already going to your clit as you thrash at the overstimulation. you start muttering out a desperate please please please, even though you weren’t quite sure what you were begging for. nevertheless, your third orgasm of the night comes quickly, as you gush all over his hand still pushing his cum back inside you. 

finally, san lays next to you on his side, caressing your body softly and whispering in your ear. 

“you did so well for me, sweet girl. let’s get you cleaned up.” 

you can only nod as he brings you to your bathroom, which he now knows is attached to your bedroom. he leans your back against his chest as he washes the both of you up. you turn around to help clean him off as well, a silent intimacy shared between you two in the steamy warmth of the glass shower. he dries you off, with a clean towel, before laying you back on the bed. he goes to your kitchen to grab some water for you both, encouraging you to drink a bit before cuddling up in his arms. 

he is the first to break the comfortable silence between you as he pulls the comforter over your naked bodies. 

“you know, i meant when i said that wasn’t what i came over for.” he smiles, looking down at you nuzzled into his chest. 

“i know, but i think we still needed to get it out of our system.” you laugh at him, considering the whole situation you have found yourselves in. 

“i’m just happy you trusted me, i promise i won’t ever break that.” he softly cradles your face in his hand, giving you a more loving kiss. a kiss that seals his promise, the promise that he cares about you as a person, not just your current profession. a promise that what is between you two is deeper than just his initial love for your body, but a love for you.

this was not supposed to be this long... but i think i am incapable of writing shorter things so... hope u enjoyed :D

[bratscave]

ᯓᡣ𐭩 IN ANOTHER LIFE !

summary. falling in love with a old! driver, who's name was james while you were still in college was one thing — but finding out that he was wolverine after his death and meeting another version of him, was another.

includes/warnings. lots of flashbacks (sex heavely implied!!), let's just pretend he was an uber driver or smth cause miss college princess had no money for a limousine for sure :/, there will be chpt 2 dw!!

You remembered that first time like it was yesterday. It had been raining, one of those cold, relentless downpours that drenched you the moment you stepped outside. It had been your first day back at physical collage after all the online classes, all nervous, fumbling with your phone as you waited for the car to pull up.

He was intimidating, didn't utter a single thing, you quickly learned he wasn't a big fan of small talk. You had tried to make conversation, anything to fill the suffocating silence. You’d rambled on about the rain, about how much you hated storms, but Logan had only grunted in response, his gaze fixed firmly on the road. You’d thought that was his way of telling you to shut up, and for a while, you had.

But silence had always been uncomfortable to you, so you continued talking, about school, your shitty new teachers, your weekend plans. Anything that crossed your mind, really.

He had pretty hands, veiny n' all. That's what you thought when you first saw them, inappropriate thoughts to have about a man who was so much older then you. But back then, you weren't actually planning on doing anything about that small attraction.

It had been a particularly bad day — the kind where nothing seemed to go right, where you felt like the universe itself had a problem with you specifically and decided to make your life hell. You had barely held it together as you climbed into Logan’s car, your hands shaking as you fumbled with the door.

And for the first time in months, the car was quiet.

But you remembered the way he drove slower than usual, the way his eyes had softened every time they flicked to the rearview mirror. When he pulled up in front of your apartment, he had turned to face you for the first time, his voice low and gravelly: “It’s just a test, bub. You’ll be alright.”

You had always asked yourself weather he listened to your ramblings or not, the fact that he remembered that you had an exam that day, clearly proved one of your points.

It was such a simple thing to say. And if any other person would've said it, you would've given them attitude because nothing had been going alright that day and you were sure you had failed the damn thing.

But when he said it, you believed him.

“When does your shift end?”

Logan didn’t respond at first, his brow furrowing as he kept his eyes on the road. For a moment, you thought he hadn’t heard you, or maybe he was just ignoring you like he usually did when he didn’t want to answer a question.

But then, he glanced at you again, his eyes dark and unreadable. “Why?”

Your breath caught in your throat, but you pushed through, your voice softer this time. “I know a place. Quiet. You might actually like it."

For a second, you thought he was going to say no — that he was going to shut this down before it even started.

But then, he muttered a rough, “Sure,” and the air in the car shifted.

The tiny ramen shop was a street down your apartment complex, the prices were afforadable, for your college-spent wallet to afford, at least.

The familiar bell over the door chimed, and the owner — a small, elderly woman. She had made a lighthearted comment about 'you finally getting a man' and you were sure you had seen logan fight a grin.

You glanced at Logan as he sat across from you, his gaze sweeping over the modest interior. His lips quirked, just a little, at the sight of the place, like he found it amusing in a way you couldn’t quite place. His eyes flicked up to meet yours, and for a second, you forgot what you were going to say.

But you'd quickly gather yourself, a chuckle escaping you at his antics, "Don't give me that look. You'll like it."

You didn't talk a lot, for the first time around him, you didn't feel the need to.

When the bill came, you reached for it, but Logan’s hand shot out, his fingers brushing against yours. The brief contact sent a jolt through you, your breath catching as you looked up at him.

“I’m paying,” he said, his voice low, almost a growl.

You shook your head, determined. “No. I invited you. I’m paying.”

His brow furrowed, and for a moment, you thought he was going to argue. But instead, he leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest, giving you a look that screamed ‘you’re being ridiculous.’

“I’m not letting you pay.”

“Well, tough shit. I’m paying,” you shot back, pulling the bill toward you and slapping your card down on the table before he could react.

Logan let out a deep, frustrated sigh, but the corner of his mouth twitched, just for a second. “Stubborn as hell,” he muttered, shaking his head.

When you finally stepped outside, the cold air hit you harder this time, cutting through the warmth of the ramen still lingering in your stomach. You wrapped your arms around yourself, shivering slightly as you started walking back toward your apartment.

“I’ll walk you,” Logan said, his voice gruff as he fell into step beside you.

You shot him a look, raising an eyebrow. “It’s literally down the street. I think I’ll survive.”

Logan didn’t respond. He just started walking down the street into the direction of the complex, his larger frame casting a long shadow over the pavement. You smiled though he didn't see it, in your humble opinion he was the stubborn one.

It took you all your courage to press out a, "Wanna come in?" after he walked you all they way to your door.

You had silently cursed yourself for not tidying up the space before wards, everything was just such a mess.

Shelves stacked with vinyl records lined one wall, your favorite albums mixed in with a few old books and random knick-knacks. Posters hung slightly crooked, tacked up without much care for symmetry, while polaroid pictures were scattered across the walls.

And then there were the plushies—so many plushies—bright pops of Sanrio characters peeking out from the corners of the couch, the bookshelves, even the bedroom beyond, where they seemed to be taking over your bed. A pink Cinnamoroll pillow lay tossed on the couch, its floppy ears slumping over the armrest like it was too tired to stay upright.

Logan’s eyes swept over everything, taking it in with a slow, deliberate gaze. You could see the corner of his mouth twitch again, that same almost-smile from the ramen shop, but this time it didn’t go away as quickly.

“You’ve got… a lot going on here,” he muttered, nodding toward the Sanrio plushies with a low grunt, but there was no judgment in his voice. Just something… curious.

You rolled your eyes, kicking your shoes off by the door. “I like cute stuff. Sue me.”

“Cute stuff,” he repeated, letting out a low, amused sound, but his eyes stayed on you, lingering just a little too long as you made your way to the couch.

He picked up one of the countless vinyls, carefully sorted next to a shelf, running his rough fingers over it. Something older from the 70s.

The next time you play that record, you'll think about how he kissed you on your coach a few minutes later. started of slow and tender, went all sloppy.

Maybe you’ll think about how he whispered your name, low and gravelly, like it was the only thing grounding him. Or the way his lips found your shoulder, kissing a line down your collarbone as he leaned you back against the cushions, his body hovering over yours, every inch of him pressing into you until you could barely think straight.

You’ll remember how his weight felt on top of you — solid, real.

“Christ,” he’d muttered against your throat, his breath hot, rough as he began moving. You highly doubted he believed in christianity or any religion at that, but the way he treated your body; felt like he was starting to believe in a new one, worshipping and all.

You had talked a lot that night, a few more hours, before you both fell asleep on same coach. It was the first time you heard multiple sentences beside just grunts and nods, from him.

If you only knew just how fast he'd leave you.

[maxwellatoms]

Hello Mr. Atoms, I'm an animation student in college and fan of your work. I got this assignment in which I need to ask questions to a professional in the area. Could you pretty please answer them? It'd mean a lot to me.

1- Are you happy with your career? How it's going.

2- What are your opinions, expectations and hopes about the independent animation industry that's developing?

3- What do you think about the advent of artificial intelligence? Do you fear for the future of animators?

4- If money wasn't a problem, would you still do what you do?

5- Any animators you admire and would like to mention?

Okey dokey.

1- Are you happy with your career? How it's going.

Not really, in that there seems to be no career left.

The animation industry swelled its numbers greatly before 2020. Almost immediately after that, corporate greed synergized with a pandemic to reduce animated programs and the number of people working on them to almost zero. It takes almost a year from beginning to end to make a single episode of an animated show (by the modern standard). There was nothing being made in 2020 and four years later, we''re not in a much better spot. It's going to be a long drought for (especially) Kid's TV Animation.

Recently, many of my former co-workers have hit the financial wall and can't continue, moving away after (sometimes) 20 years in the industry. I begin to wonder if I'm very far behind.

A "bounce back" a year from now would need to start today. There are still some animated shows being made now, but those are almost universally "library" properties. That means it's an existing I.P. (Intellectual Properties like Garfield/Mario/Batman/Star Wars) so as an artist you're immediately in that box. Depending on the property and the studio, it can be an unpleasantly tight box. I grew used to holding and maintaining the vision for a show, but it's less fun when it's not my vision. It's even less fun when you can't inspire someone to follow your vision because they've been so ruthlessly abused.

I'm pretty sick of how big media corporations treat their employees. If I inherit one more burnt out crew due to mismanagement, I'm gonna lose it.

Over a decade ago I fought hard to get board artists story credit for the episodes they were actually writing, and felt like I'd won a big victory for everyone. The second my back was turned, it all reverted.

Mostly... what is the point now? My career is/was developing ideas, crafting those ideas into a workable show, then managing teams of thirty to seventy people to produce a couple of dozen episodes per year. Studios actively do not want new ideas right now, and are actively searching for ways to eliminate what artists from the process. I'm not sure what my job would be under this new system, but it feels like they decided to hang onto the anxiety-inducing deadlines while removing anything remotely pleasurable from the experience.

2- What are your opinions, expectations and hopes about the independent animation industry that's developing?

It's the only way to get anything done, currently.

The current state of the industry is not sustainable. I (along with a lot of other animators I know) are trying to decide what's next, and pretty much everyone agrees that "you just have to make something".

It is (in that very specific way) a great time to be a young animator. The system was never going to treat you well anyway. If you can get something like a Hazbin Hotel happening without studio help, you can currently write your own ticket. I'm super proud of Vivsie, because that's a LOT of stuff to handle. I never had to handle my own marketing or drum up money to make Billy & Mandy happen.

There are opportunities there, but it's definitely "Hard Mode". The best idea is probably to team up with a few other people you like and like to work with.

Hopes? I hope that the young animators take over and make something new on top of the bones of the old industry, rather than just allowing that industry to patch its rotting hide with their collected works.

3- What do you think about the advent of artificial intelligence? Do you fear for the future of animators?

I suspect true AI might just peace-out like ScarJo in "Her", but we're not there yet. What we have now isn't Artificial Intelligence at all (though I do believe it may be the underpinnings of the Artificial Suconscious of what may one day become an actual Artificial Intelligence.)

The LLMs and "Generative AI" are (so far) a big dumb waste. They consume tons of energy and aren't great for doing anything creative. If you've sat down with Chat GPT for a creative writing session, you've probably run into the "out of the box" limitations which prevent it from talking about sex or violence-- which happen to be a major component of most stories.

Still, the technology has come incredibly far in an incredibly short amount of time. I imagine we're going to hit the point where we're being hazed by artificially generated political ads way before Generative AI can produce a consistent and usable character turnaround, so that'll be the test. Whatever the legal fallout is from this stuff over the next few years will set the tone.

Still, studios have a vested interest in pleasing their shareholders. Generative AI potentially has the capability of not only replacing swaths of money-eating artists, but handing that control directly to the billionaire studio heads. Mark my words: We're headed straight for billionaire-generated content.

I don't think the public at large will want to watch Elon Musk's fever dreams, so there's that. So law and general distaste might stave it off for a while, but I think there's just too much impetus for studios to continue to try to please their investors. "AI Art" is here to stay.

Eventually that will lead to millions and millions of bots generating millions and millions of songs and paintings and movies all day every day. Most of it will be utter trash. Right now (so I'm told) viewers are already burnt out, and will generally only click on what they already know. On Netflix, where there are twenty things you've never heard of and one you have, you're more likely to pick the thing that gives you comfort and gives you a guarantee you're not wasting your time. With exponentially more A.I. trash, how would you even begin to filter it out?

You'd need absolute control of an already existing distribution system. We currently have a few of those, and all of the media companies are desperately trying to merge with them to insure their own survival.

To me, the post-Gen-AI landscape looks a lot like old-school Cable, but with endless I.P. and fewer masters.

4- If money wasn't a problem, would you still do what you do?

The real question is, maybe, "What am I even doing?" These days I try to do a lot of gardening. I'm trying to learn new art skills, because suddenly twenty five years of experience managing, drawing, and writing isn't worth much. I recently worked on Jellystone until Zaslav lost 2.5 billion in the wash and had to find justification for his new yacht. The show before that? Also culled midway through to save money. The days of multi-year gigs seem to be over, and if I'm going to scrape by doing freelance, maybe I can do that somewhere else.

I'll always make art. I can't seem to help it. Ideas aren't my problem-- it's executing those ideas without the help of a structured pre-existing system. I honestly don't know if I'll ever be able to pull that off. My strengths are great, but were always supported by friends I worked with.

Can I start an indie cartoon with all of these cool friends? Sure, maybe. Most of those people have gone on to have other careers of their own and got used to being paid. Now nobody is getting paid and no one can pay anyone else. My immediate circle are all now middle-aged people with families and no jobs. Convincing them to give up a large chunk of their day for an idea that's not guaranteed to pay off is going to take some real effort.

I technically have fifteen years until I can claim my "retirement", assuming that still exists by then. That's a pretty big hole to fill with... I don't know what.

The difficult "What comes next" discussions at home are really just starting.

5- Any animators you admire and would like to mention?

There are a lot of cool animation people out there. I already mentioned I was proud of Vivsie. I was also reminded recently just how great C.H. Greenblatt and Mr. Warburton are. I know they're my friends. They're both just really upstanding, creative people who take good care of their crews.

The treatment of animation industry professionals by the studio system has been one of the most demoralizing and heartbreaking parts of this demoralizing and heartbreaking time.

---

So there ya go. If you want to look for someone whose attitude is a little more upbeat, I won't blame you a bit.

Wherever you are, I wish you the best of luck. For me, just climb up there and crush it. I would very much like to add you to #5 someday.

[followthebluebell]

would love a list of low energy enrichment activities to try with cats. im always looking for more ways to be involved with my cat but she is 3 and very high energy and after a long day i often dont have the spoons to chase her around with a toy while she finds new exciting hiding spots to look at it from. this makes me sad :( i dont want her to be understimulated

Food-based enrichment:

Feeder toys are a favorite! But these carry the drawback of requiring cleaning afterwards, so calculate that into your spoons. Some of them are machine washable, so that may be an option if you've got a dishwasher.

Snuffle mats - another favorite, these also require the occasional clean but don't need to be cleaned every time you use them. You can make your own pretty easily. Or, hell, just grab a very cheap bath mat from a dollar store. Your cat won't know the difference.

Scatter feeding - literally just. Throw a handful of treats or kibble on the floor or down the stairs. Literally, that's it. Calculate clean-up into your spoons because cats aren't reliable vacuums. But it keeps them busy for a few minutes.

Toy based enrichment:

Get a cardboard box. Crinkle up some brown wrapping paper or whatever cheap paper you've got on hand and put it in the box. Congrats, you've now combined your cats two favorite things in the world: boxes and paper. For extra fun, add catnip (or silvervine or whatever your cat's drug of choice is), toys, or treats.

Ripple Rug: this is actually a specific product. It's literally a square of carpet or rug with velcro on the bottom that attaches to ANOTHER square of carpet or rug. It's fairly stiff. The idea is that cats can dive into it and make their own little tunnels. My cats LOVE it. You can probably recreate it quite cheaply using cheap rugs or carpet, tbh.

Cat crinkle mats: again, this is something fairly easily made at home. You get some cheap crinkly plastic and sew it into two old washclothes or something similar. Congrats. You now have a little mat your cats can sit on, bat around, and crinkle. You can also just buy them in multiple sizes. Many have catnip in them too.

Paper bags: cats just love paper bags. Be sure you remove the handles to make sure no one gets their head stuck. Most cats entertain themselves pretty well with bags.

Cat springs: those little plastic springs are a favorite, and so are those cheap rabbit-fur covered mouse toys.

Cat race track toys: another favorite.

Cardboard cat scratchers: the cardboard ones require MORE cleaning because they leave little bits of cardboard all over the place, but it is kind of nice that you can just throw them out when your cat is done. Any scratcher is good, though. I've listed cardboard for ease of clean-up and because it's a very popular material for cats.

Cat tunnels: like bags and boxes, cats just love tunnels.

I'm not a big fan of laser pointers or robotic toys. I haven't seen many cases of light chasing disorders in cats compared to dogs, but it's an issue enough that I don't readily recommend them. I also don't really recommend robotic toys because a lot of them make noises that cats don't like. If your cat enjoys these things, congrats; I just don't find them universally popular enough to really recommend. But I had to mention them, because if I didn't, my notes would be full of 'but what about Product X!!".

I've tried to keep this list to low cost toys and activities. There are other things you can do, like installing wall shelves or getting a big cat tree, but these things are more likely to be expensive, either in terms of money, time, or energy. I wanted to focus on low cost activities that I felt were more accessible to disabled folks.

[hellishjoel]

delicate - chapter one: someone new

3.4k / pairing: joel miller x f!reader

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

summary: Sarah decides it’s time for her dad to start dating again. Joel isn’t sure he needs to, but decides if it’s for Sarah, he’s willing to give it a go. After a few failed attempts, he finally stumbles across someone new. 

A/N: This is the first chapter of a new fic co-written with @thetriumphantpanda - we’re both so excited for you all to finally read what we’ve been working on. You’ll be able to find the masterlist on both of our Tumblrs, and we’ll be taking turns in posting chapters, so if you want to keep up to date with posting, please make sure you’re following us both! 

warnings: Joel being terrible at dating apps, mentions of being a single parent, flirting, rom-com vibes, allusions to more mature themes but nothing explicit as of now, foul language, mentions of food & alcohol, Sarah & Tommy being menaces. 

“Dad, have you thought about settling down soon?”

Joel had nearly just sat down at the dining table, a warm bowl of chili stinging his hands as he set down a glass of water with a quiet huff. 

“Am settled down.” He grumbled, diving straight into the warm bowl with ferocity. 

Sarah sighed quietly and circled her fingertip over the rim of her water glass. 

“I mean,” she tries again, “settled down with someone.”

Sarah knows this is a weird topic to bring up over dinner. She can see it in the way her father stops chewing on his food, his water glass halfway to his lips now frozen midair.

Since she was a small girl, her father’s world revolved around her. She put the sun in the sky and the smiles on his face. He put her through years of soccer practice and clarinet lessons, drove her across the state for tournaments, and made her favorite dinner when it was her birthday. She was his little girl. 

Sarah knew she had a very loving father, always lucky in that regard, but that love felt a little lost when she started attending university. All she could think about was leaving her dad in an empty house with no one to cook for, no one to bug about cleaning their room. He didn’t have anyone besides Uncle Tommy. And Sarah was sure that was the last person he wanted to spend his free time with.  

Fresh from graduating with a bachelor’s degree in biology from Texas State University, Sarah opted to live at home for a year in the hopes of saving up money for med school. And perhaps she could complete the side quest of finding a potential date for her dad. 

Joel clears his throat and wipes his hand on a paper towel, smearing it a reddish-orange from the chili.

“Don’t need anyone else when I’ve got you, peanut.” He gave a lopsided smile and continued eating. 

Why would she ask something like that? Why was she thinking about finding someone for him? 

Joel thought of himself as an independent man. Never went looking for love, going on about his business, so why start now? 

Sarah looked unsure of what to say next, wanting to push the conversation and letting that uncertainty fill the air between them. 

Joel sighs, his spoon sputtering in the bowl and listening to it clang around the rim. 

“You don’t gotta worry about me, kid. I’m fine on my own.” He insisted, shrugging casually.

“Uncle Tommy and I were talking about you, more specifically about you dating-”

Joel buried his face in his hands, letting out a loud, exasperated sigh as he ran his hands down his face, calloused palms scraping against beard stubble. 

“Sarah, what did I tell you about talkin’ to Uncle Tommy? Take nothin’a substance from those conversations.” 

“Dad, please.” His little girl was frowning now, desperate puppy dog eyes searching his own. “How bad would it be if Uncle Tommy and I put you on a few dating apps, y’know? You could meet a nice woman, take her out for dinner, do whatever you want, but you can’t not try anymore.” 

Joel snuffed out a scoff, quickly dialing it down once he was receiving daggers. 

“Peanut, ya just… you get to a certain age where you give up on that type of stuff. Love n’all. M’an old dog, been outta the game for too long.” Joel returned to his dinner, thinking the conversation was done and over with. 

Sarah let out a heavy breath through her nostrils and crossed her arms. “Dad, we’re finding you someone,  or at least we’re going to try. You can’t just-just shrug off your feelings!” 

Sarah’s chair scraped backward, standing up suddenly and commandeering the room. 

“It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. What happened with Mom was a long time ago. You can’t shut off trying to find love. I saw you go on two dates when I was growing up. Two! You can’t say you’ve tried, you can’t say you don’t want it, everyone wants to find their special someone. And you,” she said with wide, frantic eyes. “You are not done trying. Not if I have anything to say about it.” 

Joel sat in silence as Sarah retrieved her bowl of chili and glass of water, fleeing up the stairs to her room. He sat back in his chair, shifting his jaw from side to side in thought. 

Guilt festered in his chest. Seeing Sarah so adamant about something like his love life was telling it was something she thought a fair amount about. She worried about his happiness, his life alone. 

Though he thought a life of solitude worked well for him, he couldn’t deny that small part of him that wished he had someone to share the little moments with. Sarah wouldn’t be living at home forever, and she would never be replaced in Joel’s heart, but maybe she was right that it was time for him to start trying again. 

“Okay, so I downloaded Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, eHarmony, and Farmer’s Only.” 

Sarah paraded around Joel’s smartphone, downloading different online dating apps left and right while he watched helplessly beside her on the couch. He could feel a headache spark in his temple already. 

“M’not a farmer.” 

Sarah simply shrugged and opened up the first app, Tinder. “True, but we’re trying to keep our options open.” 

Joel sighed and leaned back into the couch cushions, hearing the front door open without a knock. His brother, Tommy, paraded inside, a six-pack of beer in his hand and a jean jacket in the other. 

“The hell are you doin’ here?” Joel asked as he saddled his hands on his knees and pushed himself off the couch, eyes narrowed on his younger brother. 

“What? You think I would miss Sarah putting you up for auction?” 

“Hey,” Sarah said defensively, disliking that her Uncle Tommy was making fun of her genuine attempt to find Joel a woman. “Don’t make him feel bad. It took several hours of convincing just to get him to hand me his phone.” 

Tommy sneered and plopped down into Joel’s recliner, cracking open a beer despite it only being late afternoon. Hell, he might need one too. 

“Okay, Dad, focus. We need to fill out some of the Tinder prompts.” Sarah patted the section of the couch beside hers, Joel joining her after a few grumbles of resistance. 

“Prompts? What sorta prompts?” He asked, craning his neck to look at the phone screen she held up in her hands. 

“Prompts to get to know you better. You know, like, what are your likes and dislikes, what are you looking for in a relationship, where would you want to take someone for a first date,” Sarah continued the list until Tommy’s chuckle broke her concentration. 

“Ain’t Tinder for hookin’ up with chicks?” Tommy asked, making Joel’s head snap to Sarah. 

“Sarah, the hell are you doin’ to me?” 

“It’s not just for hookups, dad-”

“Yes, it is.” Tommy snicked, making Sarah glare at him. 

“C’mon, we’re trying everything to see what sticks.”

Joel felt rather hopeless about the whole ordeal. They added pictures, and Sarah crafted answers for his prompts. He didn’t really know what the hell he was doing with the whole left, right, swiping action. At one point, he expanded the age search by accident and didn’t realize it the next morning until he got a very forward message from a young woman. 

Hey, good looking ;) you look like a big man in more ways than one, if you catch what I mean… how about you come over to mine and show me a good time, I bet we can make it fit if we try hard enough. 

Joel storms into the kitchen, shoving his phone at Sarah’s face, “Take that damn app off,” He demands, “It ain’t for me.” 

“What did she say to you?” Sarah snorts, taking the phone from him, Joel watching as she holds her finger on the icon until it wobbles. 

“That ain’t for you to know,” Joel shakes his head, “Just delete the damn thing off my phone.” 

He watches as Sarah presses the cross in the corner of the icon, making a mental note of how he can delete the rest of them later when she’s not watching, she hands his phone back to him, taking a sip of orange juice, whilst he pockets the phone. 

Despite his first attempt at dating apps failing horribly, he was intrigued. A lot of the women out there were beautiful, some with children of their own from past relationships just like him. 

Joel was trying to watch the first Dallas Cowboys pre-season game with Sarah when his phone buzzed with a notification. It was just one of those that stated he had potential matches out there on Bumble. 

He chewed at the inside of his cheek, flicked his eyes up to the television screen, and clocked he wasn’t missing anything before he opened his phone. 

A few profiles later, he landed on a woman he found with a nice smile. He read through her profile, even letting out a quiet chuckle. 

Sarah’s eyebrows were drawn together with curiosity, watching her father smile goofily at his phone. 

“What’s goin’ on with you? You’re scaring me.” She teased as she pushed herself off the couch and leaned over his shoulder to see he was actually on one of the dating apps. A small sense of pride filled her. 

“I like ‘er. Got a nice smile, funny too.” Joel affirmed with a nod. He swiped like he was directed to, but then there was nothing. 

His face fell, smile and happiness swirling down the drain as he grew frustrated. 

“How the hell do I message ‘er?” He asked, neck craning as he held up his phone to Sarah, his silent way of asking for support. 

“You can’t message women first on Bumble. They have to like you back and message you first.” Sarah said with a shrug, snagging her dad’s beer from his hand and taking a quick swig. 

Joel was only scowling in disappointment and frustration. “Y’mean, I can’t even talk to ‘er? I can’t be a proper gentleman and make the first goddamn move?” 

He grunted in annoyance, swiped back his beer, and threw up the glass bottle to drain the last of its contents as he deleted the app. “Sick of these damn datin’ apps already. None of them are worth a damn.” 

Sarah sighed quietly and found her way back to the couch, nervousness settling inside of her. He wasn’t a very disagreeable person, in fact, her dad was neutral about a lot of things. What did he want to have for dinner tonight? Anything was fine. Which movie did he want to watch? He didn’t care, said she could pick. So why was he finding so many excuses with the apps? Not even the women, but the apps. 

Part of her thought about him trying to find a woman the old-school way, but he was maybe too out of the game to brush up a conversation with a random stranger. He might fail miserably, but maybe it would help with his confidence. He only had a few apps left, ticking off one by one. 

Joel stared at the ceiling, encapsulated by the slow-circling fan overhead. Darkness laid a dark veil over his bedroom, a sliver of moonlight being cast through the window. His head laid back into the pillows, jaw ticking from side to side as he lay wide awake. He lightly scratched his chest, feeling the dark hair that clustered at his sternum as his head rolled to the side and read the digital numbers on his clock. 

Another sigh left his parted lips. It was late, far too late for someone who worked the early mornings to be awake. At least tomorrow as Friday. 

His phone vibrated gently on his nightstand, a little chime he wasn’t accustomed to. He plucked his phone from the charger and squinted at its brightness, sitting up on his forearm to read the text. It was a message from a woman on Hinge. They had matched. 

Joel grunted and stared blankly at his lock screen until it went black with inactivity. No. Just go to sleep, Joel. Forget about it. He set his phone on the bed and laid on his side, digging his cheek into a pillow and forcing his eyes closed. Well, what was she doing awake at this hour? 

He opens his phone, clicking on the ‘H’ icon with its tiny red notification dot. He pays no mind to reading the message yet, instead clicking onto the mystery womans profile. The first picture is one of her wrapped up in a big coat, plaid scarf wrapped around her neck with a bobble hat and something warm clasped in her hands - it looks like she’s in a big city from what he can tell from the blurry background behind her, but he notices how happy she looks - big grin plastered on her face that reaches all the way to her eyes. 

Scrolling further down her profile, he finds the first prompt ‘Best Travel Story’ - her answer reading about a time she’d been hiking with her family. She likes the outdoors Joel thinks - something he and Sarah also enjoy, but he shakes his head before he thinks too much about a third person he can take hiking. There’s another photo then, clearly taken in the summer - she’s in a lovely dress, sitting at a table with a young boy on her lap, perhaps a nephew? He tries not to imagine that he’s stumbled across another single parent, what good luck that would be. 

Joel doesn’t make it much further down her profile - just to the section with all of her basic information. She’s around his age, shorter than him but not by much, she’s got a yes next to drinking, but a no to smoking and drugs, and she works in marketing. A steady job, he thinks. He’s praying, silently, that when he clicks back to her message, she’s sane. 

Good evening Joel! Sorry for such a late message, I’m a slight insomniac. I love your profile, you seem lovely! How are you doing this evening? (Or this morning depending on when you read this!) 

The corner of his mouth twitches into a small smile. A slight insomniac who thought he was quite lovely. Her words, not his. Maybe asking Sarah for help on his profile wasn’t such a bad idea. His fingers twitched above the keyboard, but he was unsure of what to say next. 

Joel sat up in bed, about to shove the covers off his lap and ask Sarah for help, when he took another look at his digital clock. It’s too late to wake her, he thinks. He’ll have to craft a response on his own. He dreads it, words never really being his strong suit. Would he look creepy if he replied this late back? 

Looks like we’re both slight insomniacs. Besides being unable to fall asleep, my evening was fine. How are you doing tonight, ma’am? 

Joel sighed and stared at his response, picking it apart and cursing under his breath. Now, he was wide awake. 

Ma’am? Way to make me feel 101… charming though, I like it ;) I’m doing okay, thank you. Just enjoying the only peace and quiet I get before I go to sleep. What’s keeping you up then, Joel? 

Joel’s face crumpled, pushing a hand through his hair after reading his response over and over again. He meant it in a gentlemanly way, not to make her feel old. He really screwed the pooch on that one. Nipping at his lower lip, he tried again. 

No offense intended ma’am, I’m just a Southern man is all.  Don’t mind about what’s keeping me up, I want to know about you. You don’t get much peace and quiet until midnight? How’s that?

None taken, just not used to someone being a gentleman on these things - normally at this point someone would be asking for a picture of my tits so you’re doing well so far. It’s usually my son that keeps me up, he’s been asleep a while but I only get so much time to clear up after him, so midnight is me time once that’s all done. You sure you don’t wanna tell me what’s keeping you awake? 

Joel’s smile only grew larger as she responded, and rather quickly, too. He imagined they looked quite similar right now. Different towns, different houses, both curled up in bed and staring at their phones, waiting for the other to reply. He wondered if she was smiling like he was, trying to push away an undeniable flutter in his stomach. Making him feel like a damn teenager. 

His face softened at her response. My son, she said. That boy on her profile, with chubby cheeks and a toothy smile, a head full of hair, and glee all over his face, was her son. She was a mother, just like he was a father. He wondered if she saw the young woman in his pictures and knew that was his daughter, Sarah. How could he subtly drop the hint? 

Those aren’t gentlemen, just boys. Sorry to hear they were wasting your time. I understand your limited personal time. When my daughter Sarah was young, my alone time consisted of sitting in the truck during her soccer practices and after she went to bed. It’s not easy. What’s keeping me up is partially Sarah’s fault. She’s the one who urged me onto Hinge. I don’t really know what I’m doing, to be honest. Just know a pretty flower when I see one. 

Is Sarah the young girl on your profile? She’s beautiful if so, you must be so proud of how she’s grown up. Well Joel, you don’t seem clueless, you’re keeping my attention pretty well, especially calling me pretty, I might be blushing. What made her decide now was the time for you to start dating? 

He’d never admit it if anyone asked. But it looked like he still had that Southern charm, you never really grow out of it. He reached over and plucked the string to his lamp, sitting up against his bedframe and sipping on a glass of water as he read over her reply again and again. He had a fondness for the way she complimented his baby girl. She got extra points for that. 

Yep, that’s my Sarah. She’s going to med school next year, couldn’t be prouder. I suppose she graduated from college and thinks she knows everything now. Thinks I need a love life. I think she’s felt this way for a while, but she knows I’m stubborn. What’s your son’s name? Looks like a good kid. 

Smart and beautiful, you must have very good genes Joel. That’s incredible though, I can imagine how proud you are of her. Well, I for one am pleased she’s pushed you here, you seem a really nice guy Joel. My son is Noah, he’s seven so full of beans, I’ve never known anyone have so much damn energy! 

And you seem like a real nice woman, ma’am. Sarah had so much energy at seven, that’s when I put her in soccer to run all that damn energy out of her. 

His fingers hesitated, typing out the message but not quite pressing send. He liked her. He liked how sweet and funny she was. Plus, she understood what it was like to have a kid, someone who would always be put first. 

Since it’s technically 12:57, are you doing anything tonight? Is having a drink okay for a slight insomniac? 

Well, thank you very much Joel. I have a feeling Noah and Sarah would have gotten along well if they were the same age, he’s just started soccer practice for that very reason. And, lucky for you, Noah has an evening with his grandparents tonight, so a drink sounds lovely. Just let me know a time and a place.

His heart was thumping in his chest, a tired little grin on his face as he offered to take her to The Aristocrat Lounge on the North side of Austin. They settled on seven, enough time for Joel to get home, shower, and convince Sarah to help clean him up a bit. A daunting feeling pressed into his chest, making his breath snag tight in his lungs. He was nervous, those strange butterflies still fussing around. He shoved them down, persistent on ignoring the feeling. 

It’s a date. Try to get some sleep, I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, ma’am. 

[nicromancytarot]

WHAT DO YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON RIGHT NOW?

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I do not charge for these readings, and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I get for the readings, but I pull like 15-20 cards each reading and that is just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.

PICK A CARD TAROT READING

I asked my spirit guides what you need to focus on right now, pick a picture and find out what they had to say!

Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3

Pile 4 ———> Pile 5 ———> Pile 6

PILE 1

Maintaining relationships and friendships is the most important thing for you guys right now. It’s been proven hard for people to hold up friendships and relationships of those who they are about, as lots of people are becoming less tolerant towards bullshit. Perhaps you’re not being the best version of yourself towards your friends right now. I’d recommend taking a look inside yourself and figuring out what is making you act out in possibly not the best ways, and how can you help yourself, and make up with others in the process?

PILE 2

You guys need to focus on your money and how you are treating it, I don’t know if you’re being too lenient, or too stubborn with your spending, some of you will fit into their of these. Make sure you spend responsibly. For those of who who have the money and are scared to spend it because you fear you will lose it, you won’t - you can spend an amount without worrying about not making it back, because you will gain that back. For those of you who are the opposite and spending too much, or too impulsively, take a breather and allow yourself to take a break from spending for this next month, only spend money on necessities.

PILE 3

You guys have a decision that you need to make right now, something in which you are very confused or stuck towards. I’m assuming this decision to be quite life changing for you guys, so get thinking and try to figure out the best choice for you. Not to scare you my pile 3’s, however if you don’t make this decision and choose the direction or path you desire to go down, the universe will do it for you, and they will lead you to that tower moment to get rid of everything and start again.

PILE 4

This is a very specific message, so if it doesn’t resonate, choose another pile. For the ones of you who this does resonate with, you guys seem to currently be struggling on whether or not you want to give your heart to someone. You may have been hurt in the past and now worried about opening yourself up to a person in such a way. Don’t stress so much about this, you will find and make the decision that is right for you.

PILE 5

Focus on your healing journey so those around you who have hurt you and caused you great sadness will be able to feel that of what they made you experience. Your reading is themed heavily around karma that can only be achieved once you heal yourself and accept that these people hurt you. Take your time, not too much, but allow yourself to figure out who these people were and what they did to you. You are so incredibly powerful, the universe wants you to heal so they can have your back and get at those who have hurt you. For a very select few or you, this could theme around legal trouble, gather your evidence and keep it all orderly for when you need to speak about it.

PILE 6

You guys need a breather, take some time to just relax, rest, stop doing so much. You guys are very busy, some of you are really into the whole nightlife scene, and are constantly out partying until early hours of the morning. Take a moment from it and relax, you need to rest instead of working or doing so much constantly. Allow yourself to relax for the love of god. SLEEP.

[volturiprincess]

Little Brother

Paul Lahote x fem reader

Summary: reader has a little brother who is a shifter Warnings: some angst, I think there were some curse words A/N: So this was a request, sorry it took a while to get this out but school comes first ☺️. if anyone has a request, don't hesitate to ask me, I am open in doing them. There will be a second A/N in the end. Word count: 2k+

Researching for colleges is such a pain in the ass, why am I doing this again? Oh yea I want to be a Doctor, more specifically a Physician. I have been in my room for over 3 hours already looking at different pamphlets of schools that have caught my eye. I have a little brother to take care of so I have been looking at schools near La Push but there are not a lot of schools that have the program I am interested in. And little old me decided to also graduate from High School one year early so that I could have a gap year to save up money and to visit different universities. I've been dragging my little brother with me to these college visits for the reason we are close and I don't like going alone on these visits. 

We are only 3 years apart but I still treat him like a small child, even if he is already slightly taller than me. I heard a sudden knock at my door and called out for them to come in. I sat up from the floor and saw my little brother walk in

“Hey Oli, what's up?”

“I just came to check on you, I haven't seen you in like days already and you missed dinner”

“Shoot, sorry, I didn't even know so much time has gone by, I been trying to narrow down my choices in colleges down to 5 but it has been a struggle but I did eat a sandwich earlier”

He nods 

“Why don't you take a break and we can go walk at La Push?”

My eyes widen at the mention of the beach

“Sounds like a plan bro, meet me outside in 10 minutes”

He rolled his eyes playfully but walked outside nevertheless. I stood off the ground and got somewhat ready, I just needed a sweater and shoes. I left my room and went outside where Oliver was waiting, we then started to walk to the beach, it was literally over the the treeline of where we live so it didn't take long. I have been coming to this beach since I was born, and when Oliver was born I made sure he came as frequently as I did or sometimes I would sneak at night just to come see the moon over the ocean. 

As we arrived at the beach I saw a group of boys and knew right away who they were, Sam Uley's pack. I went to school with them. I even had a class with some of the members but they always seem to annoy me with their loudness so I personally decided to stay away.

As we were walking Oliver asked me 

“Do you know those guys?”

“Yes I do, why do you ask?”

“Just asking, you always look at them like they killed your dog or something”

I laughed 

“Well there are just rowdy boys, and that annoys me you know?”

We kept on walking until someone shouted out “HEADS UP '', I grabbed Oliver instantly and pulled him down and saw a football flying over us. I stood up and walked over to the ball and looked at where it came from and I stiffen up when I saw it came from the pack, I grabbed the ball and threw it back to them immediately. I could hear one of the guys shout back “THANK YOU” which I just responded with a hand signal and walked off with Oliver.

“You know I'm surprised you didn't do sports in high or middle school, that was one heck of a throw, the distance you threw was easily a whole football field”

I rolled my eyes but wrapped an arm around his shoulders and ruffled his hair

“Oh yea? Easily a football field? You need to go touch the grass more often then, but I do got to agree it was a beautiful throw, an old friend of mine and I would practice throwing either a football or baseball in the backyard”

“I remember that, I preferred to sit at the porch and read a book while you two played”

“Such a bookworm, you know thats suppose to be me right, the amount of books I have read so far in the 17 years I have existed would blow your mind”

Chuckling he answered 

“I'll take your word on that”

—-------------------------------------------------------

Recently Oliver has been a bit distant with me, I thought at first it was just him being busy with school and his new job he told me he got recently but I hardly see him at the house anymore. I have approached him multiple times but his response is always “I'm just busy living my life”. He always says it in this tone that is just bland and he doesn't sound like himself. I know I've been busy with applying to colleges and stuff but he's been like this for a couple of months now. It also appears he's been getting into shape, not only has he gotten taller out of the blue but he has muscles now and on top of that he cut his beautiful thick locks. It makes me think that maybe there is a girl he likes and he wants to impress her or maybe there is something else. I wish he would come up to me but for now I am giving him his space and hoping he will come up to me when he is ready. 

I decided to go take a  walk at La Push beach to just clear my mind from the stress of life for a bit. It has been a while since I've been here and I kind wish Oliver was here with me. As I am walking on the sand, I see a group of boys all shirtless and with jorts on close by. I knew right away it was Sam Uley's pack but then I saw a familiar figure amongst them. My eyes widen and before I even think twice I shout out his name

“Oliver!”

I saw him turn his head to me slowly and his face reflects my current face. I felt slightly betrayed and went up to the group of boys and confronted my little brother.

“The hell are you doing with these guys Oliver, I told you to stay away from them”

Sam was the one who spoke up

“Miss why don't you relax and leave Oliver alone”

I snap my gaze to him 

“Excuse me? You don't get to tell me what to do when it comes to my little brother, that is between me and him. Sir”

Oliver spoke up still with that same monotone voice 

“Y/n just go home please, I will talk with you later”

I stared at him and then I saw something else I didn't notice earlier, a tattoo, the same tattoo that all of the other guys in this pack had. At that moment I had to bite my tongue so I didn't blow up on him in front of the guys so instead I nodded stiffly and walked away. So many thoughts started to flow through my mind; “why is he hanging out with older guys, more specifically why is he with those guys?” “Is that why he changed, so he could fit in with them or was he forced?” “What happened to that sweet boy who was scared of the lighting and would come to my room for comfort?”

I sat in the living room waiting for Oliver's arrival. I really wanted to blow up on him right there in front of the guys but why embarrass him like that, even if it was very tempting. I just realized I was addressed as “Miss”, I literally had a class with Sam and he sat right next to me and we were even partners once for a stupid math project. But what went totally over my head was a certain guy was watching intensely, he was looking at me like I was the only person alive. Before I could decipher this guy's name Oliver came into my view of sight.

I looked at him with narrowed eyes,

“So? Care to explain to me what I witnessed at the beach earlier? Or are you going to brush me off again like you have these past few months?

I saw for a moment he was hesitant but what he said next was expect

“You wouldn’t understand, they are helping me with stuff”

“Helping you with stuff? Like how to flirt with girls or how to be an idiot?”

“As I said you would not understand? How could you, you are only focusing on yourself and your future, I seen the pamphlets you been looking at, and they are all colleges far away from here”

I tried my best to be face to face with him but he is at this point he is a whole foot taller than me now

“For your information little brother, I have been looking at schools near here, why do you think it's been so hard for me to find the one, and for your information you think I am so self absorbed that I don't think about you? Why do you think you don't live with mom and dad? it's because they never paid attention to you or even cared to  raise you, it was all ME who raised you. I am trying to work towards a good career so that I could give you a better childhood that mom and dad failed to give you.”

I didn't even know a tear spilled from my eye but I quickly wiped it away and stood my ground, but for some reason he huffed and stormed out of the house without giving me a second glance or anything. I stared at the door for a while until I decided to just drop this for now. Teenagers really are something else, I really wish I did have someone to confide in when I face these problems with him but there is nobody. I decided to just make dinner and call it a night already, if he does not want to talk with me then so be it. 

—-----------------------

I was getting ready to go visit another college alone once again when I heard a knock at my front door. I went to it and did not expect to see Paul Lahote there. Secretly I thought he was pretty cute, even if he flirted with all the girls at school but I just admired him from a distance and in silence. 

He was the one to speak first 

“Can I have a quick word with you?”

“Yea sure, what's up?”

“It's about you brother”

My mood dropped at that moment

“What about him?”

“Are you familiar with the Quileute legends?”

I nodded with suspicion 

“Yes i'm aware of them, but they are just stories”

I saw that look of hesitation once again, it was the same face Oliver did when I confronted him at home after the beach incident.

“Well, to some people it is but they are real you see, and your brother happens to be a shifter along with me and the other guys”

My hand went straight to the dorm frame to steady myself and Paul instantly went to a concerned stance.

“Hey you good?”

“You-your telling me, that my little brother who is 14, is a shifter, that the stories I grew up listening to are true and he didn't even tell me?”

He gave me a sheepish look

“Well the thing is, he couldn't tell you, it's a secret that is between the pack, it's to protect each other and not to reveal others our existence, can you imagine if others found out about us, the panic everyone would go through?”

I nodded since he did made a valid point.

“Yes well you have a point, but why are you telling me then, why not Oliver or Sam for instance?”

He scratched the back of his neck and he avoided eye contact with me. It's strange to see him like this, all flustered and nervous when I knew him as some cocky and flirty guy from High School. 

“Well you see I um….. imprinted on you….”

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion 

“Imprinted on me? What the hell is that? And why me to be exact?”

“Well you see it's an involuntary mechanism that us shifters go through when we find out soulmates, we have no choice in who we get to imprint on, it just you know.......happens”

At the mention of soulmates my eyes widened in shock, the guy who I secretly liked but annoyed me at the same time is supposedly my soulmate. I always thought soulmates was an interesting topic hence my obsession with Greek Mythology and the topic that Zeus splitted people's souls in half and it was mortal's mission to find their other half. I looked back into his eyes 

“Soulmates? That's insane”

He chuckled and teased in return

“Oh and not shifting to a big wolf is not insane, your brother definitely knew you would react like this”

“Well I have heard the legends for years, so it's not like `oh what the hell your mental” kind of situation, at least I knew some part of this, but soulmates? You got to admit that's something you don't hear everyday”

Rolling his eyes playfully he gave a me a smile that stopped my heart for a minute 

“Fair but you're not too creeped out by this or have questions or whatsoever?”

I chuckled at his rambling but asked him 

“Well now that you say that I think about 1 million questions came up, please don't tell me Oliver has found an imprint yet?”

“No he hasn't yet, he's still figuring this whole shifting and stuff”

I nodded along

“Good, Good, I don't think I would accept it right away thinking he found love so young, but I also wanted to thank you”

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion

“For what?”

“You and the other guys probably were a great help to him with all of this, even if I was completely clueless to all of this, he was for sure scared and confused with all of this, wasn't he?”

He nodded 

“Yea he was lucky me and Sam were close by, we heard a yell of pain and then a growl and well we knew what it was, we went up to him and calmed him down and then we explained everything to him”

When he said yell of pain, that hit me, as much as I might not tell Oliver directly that I love him, I do, I just show it a different way by being there and being his best friend. I looked up at Paul and hugged him tightly. I felt him stiffen from shock but eventually he wrapped his arms around me. He was so warm, even with the layers of clothing he had on, his heat was radiating through it to me. I felt him caressing the back of my head while I just had my cheek against his chest.

We pulled apart shortly after and I looking down mumbled 

“I'm sorry for calling you and your pack a cult and annoying behind your back”

I heard him chuckling loudly and I looked up at him with a surprised look

“No need to apologize sweetheart, we know we are annoying and I could never be mad at you”

I rolled my eyes playfully but let out a breath of relief

“Is Oliver with the other guys?”

He nods 

“I can take you to him, the cat is out of the bag already or this case the wolf is out of the bag”

I punched his arm playfully 

“Your such a nerd”

He did a fake pout but smiled while offering his arm for me to take. He guided me to his car and we drove off to who knows where. We eventually arrived at a cabin in the woods and I saw a bunch of shirtless guys running outside of the house towards us. I spotted Oliver and ran into his arms and pulled him into a deep hug. He returned the gesture immediately and I felt some small tears spill 

“I know everything, I'm sorry for blowing up on you”

He pulled away slightly to look at with slightly teary eyes

“It wasn't your fault y/n, it's mine, I just wished I could've told you about this but you know why I didn't, right?”

I nodded and wiped away his tears

“I'm just glad you didn’t have to deal with all of this alone” I turned to all of the guys “Thanks to all of you” they all nodded in a reassurance and some of them went back inside the house 

“So Paul also told you about him imprinting on you?”

I nodded 

“And he told me you have not found an imprint yet which is a relief, I don't think I would be ready to see you with someone yet, your just a little boy”

I ruffle his hair and he just chuckled slightly 

“Im 14, almost 15, and I'm taller than you also”

I huffed at his response

“Well i'm older and more mature than you”

Paul came up to us,

“She's got you there dude”

I looked at Paul who winked at me and Oliver just groaned in disgust

“Can you not be like that in front of me”

“Hey! since I know about all of this, you will see more of me and Paul together”

He scoffed but then smiled 

“Whatever, at least you won't be alone that often now”

Paul wrapped an arm around me and looked down on me 

“She will never be alone”

My heart skipped a beat at his response

A/N: My third one-shot DONE. Anyways I will get to that extended version of that Felix drabble/random idea/ im not sure what to call it, hopefully I will get it down in the next couple of days. Plus I will work on another moodboard since its been a while.

[crazyoffher]

WATCHTOWER. - 4

jenna ortega x fem!reader

summary: photos of you and jenna's hangout surface along with dating rumors, leaving jenna forced to find a way to deal with the rumors without her management's dreadful ideas.

warnings: small mentions of homophobia, unedited.

word amount: 2900+

a/n: condemn this as a filler chapter.

part one part two part three part five

“Now, I think we have to get you into a PR relationship.”

“No! God no! I’m not even dating her, for Christ's sake.” Jenna was exasperated. It had been about a week and a half since she had hung out with you. She was now in Romania to finish her ‘Wednesday’ season two reshoots, and her manager had flown out there to do a proper, in-person meeting to discuss the current news surrounding her.

Jenna Ortega reveals a new love interest; sources confirm she is a Michelin-starred waiter (Y/N) (Y/L/N)!

Rising actress Jenna Ortega finds consolation in a non-famous woman after her breakup with her former co-star, (NAME REDACTED).

For fuck's sake, they broke up a year ago. Why were the media still hung up on them?

New photos reveal a possible relationship between young actress Jenna Ortega and a woman not in the Hollywood spotlight.

The articles went on and on, none of them speculating that the two could just be friends. Just headlining them in a “relationship” to grab their money.

“Are you sure? The paparazzi photos say otherwise, Jenna. Have you even bothered to see them since they’ve been released?” Her manager, Castillo, pulled out a folder filled with papers, specifically printed photos. He skimmed through them before sliding the folder over to Jenna, who took the folder warily.

At first glance, Jenna didn’t see anything wrong with them. There were a maximum of five pictures, two of them of you and her at the Bradbury. The first photo didn’t show much, just your back turned to the camera while you talked to Jenna, her face in the frame as she looked to be thoroughly listening to you.

The second one was shot from above you guys, with the photographer on the third floor while you and Jenna were on the second, both your faces in the frame this time. You were pointing to the Bradbury treaty that you had been so giddy about seeing, pointing to it while you faced Jenna with a big grin on your face, showcasing your excitement.

The other three photos were of you and her at the restaurant. The first one showed you two in the waiting room, Jenna’s hand on your shoulder, and her facial expression with faint concern etched on it. It was when you were doubting your clothes. The second photo shows the two of you at your table, with a smile on her face as you talked about university.

The last photo was probably the most questionable photo, to Jenna anyway. It was of you two outside after leaving the restaurant, and you were pointing at the note that the waiter gave Jenna in her hand, but from the angle, it looked like you were going to hold her hand.

“I don’t see much wrong with these except for maybe this photo,” she held up the very last photo, “and even then, she wasn’t even holding my hand or going to; she was pointing at a note a waiter had given me.”

Castillo sighed, rubbing his face. “It’s because you’re not analyzing them properly. Look,” he said as he rounded the table, standing behind Jenna’s chair to point at the photos she had spread out, rubbing his face.

“Notice how you’re looking at her. That’s what people focus on; they don’t determine two people being in a relationship only if a photo of them kissing is released; they base it off of facial expressions, how one looks at the other.”

“That’s fucking stupid!” Jenna grabbed one of the photos, analyzing how she looked at you. She now understood what Castillo was saying; her look was one of admiration, but it didn’t make the situation any less odd.

“You talk to her about this?” Castillo’s assistant, Louis, chimed in. He was a nice guy, but such a nightmare at times that it made Jenna wonder how she had not beaten him with a baseball bat at this point.

“We talked about it briefly,” Jenna mumbled. When the news stories and images were released, she remembered the conversation she had with you the day before she left for Romania. She could only ever express regret so many times, and you promised her that you would call her when you had some free time. You had yet to call, though. It worried her.

“This is no time for mumbling, Jenna! All of this can stain your career heavily.”

“How?”

“You know how,” Castillo’s tone issued, telling her to stop playing dumb, “parts of society are still not acceptable to… same-sex relationships.” He could see the expression that formed on Jenna’s face, quickly turning his words around. “I don’t know what you identify as, and as of now I have no interest in knowing, but you have a reputation to keep. Don’t tell me you’re going to throw away a lifelong career’s work for a girl you’ve known for a little over a month.”

“I’m not throwing anything away.” Jenna grumbled, clearly in a worsening mood. “I’m not dating her. I won’t lie to you and say that I have no attraction to her, but we’re just friends. I’m not cutting her off because of some flawed rumors.” She argued.

The stranded photographs were gathered and shoved back into Castillo's folder with a sigh. “Louis, get RJ on the phone.” He directed his assistant, who nodded and moved out of the room with urgency in his steps. “You,” he turned to Jenna, who was shrunken in her seat, undeniably drowning in neverending stress, “call her. If I check back in and you’re not on the phone with her, I’m putting you in a PR relationship, regardless of your opinion.”

Castillo ushered out of the room, leaving Jenna in solitude. She flicked through the numbers saved on her phone, soon clicking yours, but she felt herself hesitate to click the ‘call’ button. It was all shit to her that she couldn’t even hang out with a friend alone without possibly crashing her career.

She bit her lip with a patient sigh, clicking the button, and holding the phone up to her ear. It rang once, twice, three, and four times before she was sent to the automated voicemail message. She rubbed her face, clicking the call button again, then again, then again, but you didn’t pick up, and it was starting to worry her.

It’s not like you were avoiding her; you were just busy. “My phone keeps on fucking buzzing!”

“Then set it down somewhere if it’s bothering you that much.” Jack quipped, and you went into the backroom and toward your locker. You mindlessly shoved your phone into the small space, too time-poor to check who or what was the recipient of the constant buzzing.

“(Y/N)! Come on, you've got five tables waiting on their food, and you’re — what? Chilling in the backroom?” You could hear Derek’s loud yelps through the commotion in the kitchen, and you rolled your eyes at the audacity of his accusations. “I’m coming!”

You relocked the locker, pulling at the handle to check for security. Harvey stole a lot more than tips.

“So?” Castillo entered the room after a generous fifteen minutes. “She didn’t pick up.”

Despite his serious tone, stoic face, and clouded mind, he could see the worry in Jenna’s face, and he let out a frustrated huff. “I’m giving you until tomorrow, Jenna. If you don’t talk to her by that time, then we’re pacing your reshoots and taking you back to the States to have a proper meeting with your entire management and publicity crew.”

She wasted no time in burying her face in her hands when Castillo and Louis bid her farewell, the suffocating urge to cry her eyes out taking over her. She eyed her phone for ten minutes; that’s it. She sat there and bore her gaze into the device, hoping to see your caller ID pop up, but nothing.

“Derek! When can I go on break?”

You stuffed your filthy tray into the dishwasher, fuming as you hurriedly shut the door and accidentally hit your finger. You gripped your finger in pain as you searched for the busied man.

You could see his head pop into the kitchen, as if he was too preoccupied in the dining room to move the rest of his body. “I’ll stop sending tables to you. Finish up with the ones you are currently serving, and then take your thirty minutes." And as quickly as he entered the kitchen, he exited, and you grinned slyly as you grabbed a clean tray from under a countertop, stacking the meals for your table before hurrying out with imperativeness in your steps.

You returned to the backroom after finishing all of your tables (with the inevitable process of having ice-cold water thrown at you) to find Jack in your usual seat. He was scrolling through his phone when you pushed the back of the chair up, causing him to fall to the floor.

“Hey!” He got up, brushing himself off, before sitting in the chair across from you. “Your phone’s still been buzzing like crazy; it’s getting kind of annoying.”

“You’re annoying.” You stood from your chair, grabbing an 8-ounce soda can on the way to your locker, the buzzing growing louder as you moved closer. “Jesus, that sounds like a vibe.”

“Ew!” Jack shouted. You smiled to yourself, first grabbing a hanging towel to wipe your face of any water residue before gripping the vibrating phone, eyeing it for a second before you saw Jenna’s caller ID pop on the screen.

“Who keeps on blowing up your damn phone?”

“Jenna!”

“No way you’ve been having Hollywood call you nonstop and sending her to voicemail, at that.” Jack stood up, making his way over to you and eyeing Jenna’s caller ID. “So are you going to pick up or what the fuck?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You swiped the button, pushing Jack away and moving toward a more secluded area while you listened in. “Hello?”

“Fucking hell, (Y/N). Look, I know you said you’d call me when you had the time, but I don’t have any more time to waste. I need to talk to you about the whole media thing.” You could hear the exasperation in her voice, and that made you worry.

“I’m sorry, Jenna. I took a couple extra shifts this week to try and help my brother pay for something. I was actually going to call you tonight, but if you need to talk to me now, I’ve got thirty minutes.” You turned toward Jack, shooing him out of the room, and he gave you a ‘what the fuck?’ look before begrudgingly leaving. You knew he didn’t really care where he took his break; he just wanted to eavesdrop.

“You don’t have to apologize any more; it’s fine if that’s why you’re calling.” You sat down in your seat, cracking open the soda can and taking a small sip. You unbuttoned your vest, throwing it on the back of your chair, as you suddenly heard Jenna start rambling.

“Itsnotbecauseofthatitsbecausemymanagementisconcernedthatyouregoingtostainmycareerandthat-”

“Jenna,” you let out a breathy laugh, although it probably wasn’t the time to do so, “slow down. I have no idea what you just said.”

You could hear her catching her breath and letting out a sigh, and you could imagine her rubbing her face in stress. “I’m not calling to apologize to you again. It’s because my management is concerned that you’re not good for my publicity because of these fake dating rumors, and I don’t know what to do.”

If anybody walked into the room you sat in, they’d laugh at your expression, jaw slack, and eyebrows furrowed in moral confusion and slight fright. Was she cutting you off?

“I’m not cutting you off; I’d never do that.” It was like she read your mind. “I just — I have no idea how to deal with all of this. Do I make a public statement? Leave it all as is? Get into a PR relationship? I’m stuck.”

“Jenna,” you tilted yourself back in the chair, unconsciously doing a check around the room to see if anybody had come in, “it’s fine if you need to not be seen with me in public. I do have a living space that is private, after all. For the whole situation…” You trailed off, biting your lip in thought.

“Definitely don’t do a PR stunt; it’ll only make you unhappy. I say just make a public statement, but regardless, isn’t it up to your management?” Shifting around, you moved the soda can to the side of the table before standing up and walking toward your locker. Last you knew, your backpack was in there with your laptop, and you were keen on seeing what people kept on saying.

“Yeah, but they told me to think of what I want to do, and when I get back to the US and have a proper meeting with them, then they’ll see whether or not it’d be a good idea.” From Jenna’s perspective, she was back in her trailer, shuffling back and forth with the phone up to her ear while she mindlessly cleaned up the kitchen area.

You opened your laptop, typing in the complex password that was ‘0001’ before opening Microsoft and searching up Jenna’s name. A slew of news articles appeared at the top of the page in an instant, and you saw the same old picture you had been seeing for the past week. “In that case, I’d say bring up the public statement, because you can’t leave it all as is, and I know you’d rather die than get into a PR relationship. It’ll all be alright, Jenna.”

You needed to reassure the girl because her tone had softened but was still filled with a stressed sound. Jack entered the room, assuming that the seriousness of the conversation had subsided (because he was eavesdropping from the other side of the door), and sat across from you. He flung his hands around, asking for your attention, which you gave him while listening to Jenna thank you for the talk you guys had. “Tell her you miss her!”

“Why?” You mouthed it, raising your eyebrows in an attempt to get him to lower his voice. “Because you do, duh.” His tone hadn’t lowered in the slightest, and you threw the soda can that was now empty toward him, putting a finger over your mouth.

“Yeah, no, don’t worry about it. And trust me, if it seemed like it, I wasn’t avoiding you.” You returned to the conversation, ignoring Jack’s heart-hand gestures toward you. You eyed the time on your laptop, seeing that you had five minutes left on your break, and you usually took the last five to prepare.

“I thought that at first, but I brushed it off because it didn’t seem like you, you know?” Jenna bit her lip, throwing away a styrofoam cup that sat on the sink counter. “It didn’t seem like me?” You asked, repeating her words. Jenna shook her head, blurting out a “no” when she remembered you couldn’t see her and mentally scolding herself for her dumbness.

You had put her on speakerphone when Derek ushered Jack out of the room, seeing as his break time ran out, with a reminder to you that you had about a minute or two left. “What does seem like me, then?” It came out in a teasing tone, though you weren’t trying to tease her. You were genuinely curious as to what the high-priority girl thought of you.

“Nice, funny; definitely not the ghosting type.” She laughed, and you smiled while buttoning your vest back on. “Somebody I can be myself with, definitely.”

“You’re not yourself with some people?” That genuinely shocked you. Jenna seemed like one of the most open people you knew, though, to be fair, you still hadn’t known her all that well. She gave off a vibe, you’d say. “No, not really. Whenever I hang out with more high-end people, they act all serious, so most of the time, I just stay quiet.”

“That must suck. I can’t hold myself from talking; the longest I can go is maybe five minutes — oh!” You exclaimed, remembering what you had planned on asking her. “Do you know when you come back to the US? I want you to try this little cafe that’s in my bar. It doesn’t sound the best right now, considering all of this… crap, but it’s always empty. Up to you, though.”

“That sounds nice.” Jenna sat down on a stool, playing with the top of her fingernail that she had cut too short. “I’m always open to trying new things, though I’d probably be in some sort of disguise for precaution.”

“Risky, are we?”

“Definitely.” Jenna’s smirk was engraved into your brain, and you knew she was doing just that. You enjoyed talking to her more than anything, but the sound of clattering plates crowded your ears, and you were surprised that Derek hadn’t dragged you out of the breakroom by now.

“Hey, I have to go back to work, but I can talk to you more tomorrow because I’ll have a day off, yeah?” You never made commitments like that because you were afraid of breaking them, but you knew you would be laying on your bed, phone in hand, listening to Jenna rant about her struggles as a producer and actress on the show she was filming the next day. You couldn’t wait.

“Yeah! Oh, and (Y/N)?”

“Yeah?”

“I miss you too. Goodnight.”

☟ ☟ ☟

taglist: @grandpatrolnut @annalestern @rhythm-catsandwine @yara124 @daryldixonsw1fe @red1culous @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @n0vabug @idkwimdtbh @alexkolaxs

[sleepysnk]

a/n: i rlly like sanzu and uhh this idea just came to be after a long chat with some friends! 🤍 i hope you all enjoy! <3

pairings: sanzu haruchiyo x fem!reader

warnings: modern au, nsfw, established relationship, sanzu and reader have an onlyfans, smut, mentions of oral sex f!receiving, consensual recording, public sex (they’re in a dressing room), lingerie, degradation, use of pet names (baby, princess, babydoll), finger sucking, slight breeding kink, rough sex, dirty talk.

synopsis: you and sanzu began an onlyfans, and, after a video blew up, you became quite popular on the platform. the two of you are out and about one day at the mall, and sanzu just can’t help but think you look so pretty in your lingerie.

smile, you’re on camera ft. sanzu haruchiyo

It was all Sanzu’s idea to begin an OnlyFans.

The first time your boyfriend proposed the idea of making one, you almost completely spat out your drink. You had heard many stories from people online who made hundreds to thousands of dollars off of the platform. Whether it was something simple as nude photographs or videos of someone being fucked to oblivion, it was many people’s way of making money and paying their bills. You wouldn’t have ever expected Sanzu, your boyfriend of two years, to suggest such a thing to you. 

There were so many possibilities and questions you had for the man. You protested over the fact that someone could possibly recognize the two of you if the videos were leaked. It wouldn’t be that great if one of your friends or even your family found out what you two had been doing. Sanzu explained to you that it would all be anonymous. He would wear a face covering every time he uploaded content, and he would do his absolute best to make sure your identity was hidden as well. It was sort of overwhelming. Random people would be paying to see your body, and you knew the internet was a dangerous place and it could be quite harsh. People were often body shamed and it wasn’t something you wanted to see. Sanzu understood your concerns completely and he knew they were valid. He wouldn’t ever wish that kind of treatment on another human being. 

Though, after lots of convincing, Sanzu was able to make you comfortable enough to begin an account. 

It was slow and sloppy at the beginning. Some of your videos only had about thirty or so views, and you didn’t have many followers. The both of you considered just deleting your Twitter and removing the OnlyFans all together. You barely had any profit coming in, so you assumed that maybe that idea would be chalked up.

One day, all of that completely changed.

You awoke one more morning with your phone blowing up, as well as Sanzu’s. When you entered your Twitter account, your jaw fell to the floor when you saw that one of your videos had blown up. Apparently, there had been a popular Twitter porn account that had retweeted one of your videos. More specifically, it was a video where Sanzu’s mouth was latched onto your pussy. It was filmed from your perspective and the camera was able to capture Sanzu’s gorgeous emerald eyes, along with his lengthy eyelashes that made every woman jealous. The people who liked the video left many comments on it, and it in turn led to you both ranking many followers and the profits in your OnlyFans to rise. You couldn’t stop reading the replies and retweets, because they were just so encouraging.

rxdomuser822: me n who? 👀

stxllasexs: someone find this mannn!!! 😩

ppowerrs: if a man looked at me like that i’d cum on the spot

mxikasyu: find them both right now

Eventually, you two managed to make a living off of your content. People paid to see you get fucked by your boyfriend all of the time, or they’d want to see him play with your pussy until you were shaking from how great his fingers worked along your clit. It had all gone in such a successful direction that you and Sanzu were able to move out and pay off any debt you had remaining from university. The two of you were satisfied with everything that had happened so far. There had been a few flaws on separate occasions, but you both were so happy with where you were now.

Sanzu spoiled you rotten at times. He’d buy you any gift you wanted and he would take you out whenever he had the opportunity to. It was a luxury and you both enjoyed it more than anything else.

Today, he decided to take you lingerie shopping as a treat for reaching almost fifty thousand followers on Twitter. He adored seeing your pretty body in all kinds of thin fabric, and he knew that nothing would be better than treating you to some fine lingerie. You were his pretty little girlfriend, how could he resist such a woman like you? He honestly loved seeing the faces you’d make whenever you would pick up different bralettes or thongs that would fit just right around your hips. Sanzu lets you buy anything you desire at the shop. He could never say no to you. 

Though, Sanzu’s mind wandered somewhere else when you began trying on the different pieces he had picked out for you.

He couldn’t help but peek at you through the curtain that was pulled over the changing room. He got a nice view of your perky tits that were held up by the bralette you wore, and immediately his cock hardened inside of his sweatpants. He thought it would go away after a few minutes, but much to his dismay, Sanzu’s mind wouldn’t halt on reminding him how gorgeous your body was. Whether it was him fucking you so good that you saw stars, or eating your pussy until you made a mess on his face, the images refused to leave his head. He tried his best to keep up the facade at the lingerie shop, but his cock was aching inside of his boxers. It almost hurt that he wasn’t stuffing your cunt with his cock. He was growing anxious, but he didn’t want to ruin your shopping day.

You weren’t sure what came over him, but Sanzu had managed to slip into your changing room and he began fucking your brains out.

Your body was pressed against the mirror that faced the wall. Your cheek and your tits were against the glass, while Sanzu’s cock fucked into your pretty walls. You tried to protest to your boyfriend that it was quite risky to be doing such a lewd act in a public place, but that’s what enthralled him the most. The risk of potentially being heard or caught by the workers or the people who were shopping made him all the more turned on. He could only think of the fun this experience would bring for you both. He even had the idea to record the entire thing, with your knowledge of course.

Sanzu’s hand trailed down your backside. He watched the way his cock slid into your soaked pussy with such ease. His pace was quite fast, because he couldn’t help himself. He just needed to have you around him. “Fuck.. yeah, you take me so good, babydoll.” he gritted his teeth from the ecstasy that coursed throughout his body. “Bein’ such a good little slut for me.. fuuucckk,” 

He held his phone at a certain angle so the camera could pick up on how fucking amazing you looked. He had taken several videos already of the entire situation. He even went out of his way to record himself in the mirror fucking you from behind. Sanzu just couldn’t help but feel so turned on by what you were both doing. “Mmph.. Sanzu..!” your eyes rolled backwards when the tip of his cock reached your g-spot. You weren’t supposed to be moaning at all. Sanzu reminded you several times to remain silent, but you just couldn’t. He was too good.

He shoved his phone into his pocket once he finished taping you. Sanzu then reached around to your plump lips where he forced two of his fingers into your mouth, allowing you to suck on the digits. He knew he was fucking you good, but that didn’t necessarily mean he wanted other people to possibly hear you. “Keep that mouth shut, princess..” he smirked. “Don’t need us getting caught.. yeah?”

Oh how you wished you could keep quiet. His pace was erratic and rough. He was winding you up just perfectly enough so that your orgasm would hit you quite hard. Once again, there was that great risk of you two possibly being exposed by one of the workers. You were already used to somewhat of an audience. Hell, you and Sanzu recorded yourselves all the time and posted your videos for the world to see, so this was almost nothing to you. 

Sanzu was about to let out a groan, but paused immediately when he heard those familiar jingles of keys walking towards the changing room. His thrusts came to an abrupt slow when the noise filled his ears. He feared too much would bring attention to your room, but those thoughts stopped when he felt your cunt clenching and twitching around his cock. You were such a dirty slut. You liked this. You enjoyed the fact that both of you could be caught at any second. He didn’t think you would ever be that inappropriate, but fuck, it turned him on so much more than he already was. He placed his palm against your hip, beginning to thrust inside of you once again. This was surprising to you. 

You turned your head to meet Sanzu’s seductive expression. His bubblegum pink hair hung over his hazy eyes that were blown with lust. He removed his fingers from your lips, causing your mouth to fall slack. “Aw.. so you do want to get caught, huh? You like when I fuck this pretty cunt, baby? I’ll let them hear you being a slut for me..” he then picked up the pace of his ruts, earning a loud moan to fall from your lips. You were about to cover your mouth, but your boyfriend was much quicker than you and he pinned your wrist behind you. 

Your whines slipped from your lips at an endless pace. The knot inside your belly was tightening and making itself known. You were growing desperate for that euphoric high you craved more than anything else. Sanzu’s grip on the plush of your hips was tight enough to leave bruises on your delicate skin. “Ah..! Sanzu.. ‘m close!!” your nails dug into the glass of the mirror, leaving fingerprints on it. 

The sound of skin slapping filled the dressing room. Sanzu was so determined to make you a mess all over his cock. He wanted those people outside to hear how amazing he was making you feel. He didn’t give a single fuck. 

You let out one last whine, then your orgasm had washed over you. Your thighs trembled and shook. Sanzu grinned when he saw the white ring that circled around his cock. Your pussy squelched and squeaked from his thrusts. There was his pretty girl he knew so well. He was so proud of you for being a good little slut for him and his cock. He was close to his own high. His dick twitched and he could feel that pit in his belly growing larger with every rut of his hips.

He grunted several times, throwing his head back at the pure bliss of your tight cunt. You were a drooling mess and you were in paradise at how great you felt. Tingles spread throughout your body with every touch of your g-spot. “Fuck.. ‘gonna cum, baby, fuck..” he let his jaw fall open as he pumped himself into you. “Fill up this cunt.. yeah.. that’s it!”

With one thrust, he finally reached his climax. Sanzu’s cum filled into your hole, reaching your womb. He held your hips in place so none of it would slip out onto the floor. Sweat clung to his forehead and his chest heaved, trying to catch his breath from the exhilarating orgasm he just went through. He was beyond excited to upload the video he had recorded for his fans. It was quite unexpected, but he was so happy he decided to fuck you in that dressing room. He was certain somebody heard you both, but he couldn’t care less about that. 

Sanzu then pulled out, turning you around so your back was now flat against the mirror behind you. He pulled you in for a sloppy kiss, wrapping his hand around the base of your throat. “Better not let a single drop out, okay..? Don’t make me fuck it back into you, babydoll.” he whispered into your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

You nodded your head, looking your boyfriend in the eye when you did so. “Okay..” you looked down at the floor where your clothes had been previously discarded, along with the lingerie you were just wearing several minutes ago.

Sanzu picked up the fabric from the floor. He smiled devilishly at you, exposing those pretty scars of his that were near his lips. He then placed another small peck on your lips. “Let me go pay for this, you deserve it.” he winked.

[ghost-proofbaby]

SO SCARLET (IT WAS MAROON)

CHAPTER FIVE: HOLY GROUND

I LEFT A NOTE ON THE DOOR WITH THE JOKE WE MADE, AND THAT WAS THE FIRST DAY. AND DARLING, IT WAS GOOD NEVER LOOKING DOWN.

☆ pairings: rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader

☆ warnings: no use of y/n, strong language, angst, minors dni

☆ WC: 8K+

☆ A/N: trying something new in the formating here amongst the chapter - please bear with me <3

thank you to my love @hellfire--cult for the divider!

masterlist

“I’m sure you’ll find a way.” 

Oh, how you realize you’ll come to regret that taunt. 

The first week of working on organizing Corroded Coffin’s single release party is easy enough. Most of the communication is restricted to Matt and vendors, beginning the process of assessing venues as you start your list of all that will be needed for the party. An actual location, an open bar, entire stage crews. Matt is able to provide a few connections here and there, people in the live music industry that owe him a favor as he had so kindly put it. You had your spreadsheet of contacts that was growing with each passing day, you had several venues that looked as though they would work well for the occasion — the only thing you had yet to do was go over options with the band or properly reach out for their list of requirements for their night of celebration. 

You had tried to be sneaky about it. Get around asking for any of their emails, continue living comfortably in the radio silence of not hearing from Eddie. And then you’d made the fatal mistake of asking Matt if he could gather the list of things the boys may want.

And of course, as any sane person would do, he had only forwarded the email to all of the boys’ professional emails and replied: I’ve CC’d our rockstars. I’ve instructed them to personally send you any requests they may have.

Fuck.

Eddie’s email sat at the lead of the list of CC’d emails, almost teasing you as it stared back at you from your laptop screen. A full week, you had avoided this. Even if he could have gotten your email from Matt, he hadn’t, and like a fool, you’d assumed that meant you were in the clear. 

So much for that.

You compose and erase multiple emails until you decide that if the boys want to reach out, they can. There was no need for you to make first contact; they now had your email, a bait set for them to initiate a conversation by sending you their lists. If Eddie wanted to reach out to you, he had the perfect excuse to do so. 

For a few hours, you don’t hear anything, and instead of sighing in relief, it only puts you further on edge. You want him to just get it over with. To send you an email, preferably an impersonal list that allows you to continue your job. No relations, no interferences. You didn’t know it, but the Universe was already laughing in your face. 

The first email from any of the boys comes from Jeff.

A simple list, just as you’d requested. There was nothing outrageous; he’d recommended an open bar, asked for a specific brand of whiskey if possible, and thanked you for all you were doing. Simple, kind, appreciative. Jeff, it seemed, had stayed as humble as you remembered him. 

The next email came from Gareth. Less simple, but still just as expected.

Nerds (the CANDY) of any kind. That vodka infused whipped cream (does it even get you drunk?), the softest robe money can buy. Actually, can I get matching house shoes with that robe? Can we also have some cigars in the dressing room? (We are getting a dressing room… right?) 

You’re so busy snorting at his requests, rolling your eyes but also losing yourself in the warmth to know he also hadn’t changed much, you don’t see the next email come through.

It was comforting. You knew Eddie had changed — more than you could ever wrap your head around — but these boys you once knew seemed to still be connected to their roots. You read the requests and recall the times you’d spent in Gareth’s hot garage over the summer, sitting on warm concrete as you cheered overly excited, even occasionally standing up to jokingly mosh to their rehearsals. Sweltering summer nights between friends and beers that lost their chill far too quickly, laughter that echoed down the driveway and out into the empty streets of Hawkins. Nostalgia burns away at you, sitting restlessly in your chest as you let yourself simmer in it for the first time since…. since moving to New York, really. Even in that first year, life had moved so quickly, you and Eddie never took the time to ruminate in your past too often. If you did, it had caught you off guard, always fleeting to make room for the next uncertain experience. 

You two had been so busy running away from your hometown, you’d never stopped to consider what you had given up in the process. 

A soft sigh escapes your lips, and you swear you can still taste the shitty Miller Lite, the only brand that seemed to occupy the Emerson’s fridge, on your tongue as you exit the email and scribble on the notepad before you. Even if Gareth had been joking around with some of his requests, you’d take them seriously — besides, the mental image of Gareth in a plush robe and fluffy slippers to match made you laugh. You were thinking about your past, and for once, you were laughing. This part wasn’t a stain, wasn’t something you had scrubbed away at in a haste to make it fade from your ledger. This was the part you should have been lingering on. 

And linger you did until you glanced up to find the next unread email.

Eddie. 

EDDIETHEBANISHED@gmail.com. You could fool yourself, tell yourself that email is from anyone else, but you know it isn’t. It isn’t even the email that had been CC’d. It’s his personal email. 

Your mouse hovers over the highlighted and unopened message, heart dropping with each passing second. There’s a small preview of his message, but your vision blurs just enough that you can’t make out the small words. 

Is this how you were always doomed to live out the rest of your days? To freeze, to panic, to malfunction at every slightest thing that has to do with the man you left to begin with? Would he always pull such visceral reactions from you? 

In an act of bravery, you press the tip of your finger against the smooth mouse pad, a muted click that doesn’t reach your ears signaling the official opening of the email. All of your hopes are shattered as you realize it’s clearly too short to be a list similar to the other boys, a simple response that you could acknowledge and move on from. 

No, he sends something that specifically calls for you to play with him. To reply and interact, to give him what he wants. To talk. 

Two fucking words. Two loaded, vexing, provocative words that call to you with the titillating grin you imagine he wore as he typed them. 

Your fingers work faster than your brain, slamming away at the keys hurriedly without thought as you type your least professional email to date. 

The bottom of the email is automatically signed off with your work signature, including your direct personal line. If you had half the mind, you would have erased that bit of information to keep it from Eddie. It even has your actual signature, a mature one that differs from how you used to scrawl your name atop of schoolwork in high school, that you had scanned into your computer after having gone through the painful process of rewriting it what must have been a thousand times. No one had let you in on the fact that most other corporate monsters and coworkers just used one of the sloping fonts available to them. No one had shown you the ropes – you’d just assumed that it was the normal, to go so above and beyond. 

Another brick in the foundation you’d built for yourself, separate from Eddie. Another attempt to change from the girl he’d once loved. 

You’re shocked when a reply comes very quickly. You hadn’t even clicked out of the thread before it entered your inbox.

You try to channel fury, years of irritation and calluses you’d built up against him. But your chest has been weakened by that brief moment of nostalgia that Jeff and Gareth had triggered, and it’s a fruitless battle when he sends another message rapidly. He’s treating it like casual texting rather than stiff business interactions. 

Your entire body flushes, a shock to your system coming that brings you out of the allusive hypnosis easily. 

My emails are monitored. They’re going to see that we know each other. I’m going to get fucking fired. 

You steady your breathing and try to stave off the anxiety. It’ll be fine; Lydia has no reason to comb through your emails at this time. Nothing said would trigger any bells or whistles to cause concern. It’s fine. It’ll be fine. It has to be. 

You wish you had it in you to see red. He had an incomprehensible amount of nerve to be asking for your personal email all because he refused to use his professional email. 

Soft. You’d worked on becoming a hardened version of your old self for two years, and all hard work was quickly going down the drain as you remained too soft for him. It was easy, too. All the rough edges had melted so discreetly somewhere amongst the in between. 

You think he’s dropped the topic of your personal email, but you should know better. Not even mere seconds after you receive the first email, brimming with nonchalance and a teasing tone that has no room between the two of you, another message comes through.

Good to see he’s still annoying and persistent as ever, I suppose. 

He’s all bark, no bite. That’s what you convince yourself. There’s no way he could find your personal email, a plethora of power and connections at his fingertips or not. Even if he could, it would take him ages and more effort than it would be worth. 

All bark. No bite.

You hadn’t realized just how quick and consistent his replies had maintained until you’re met with silence. You wait impatiently, biting at your fingernails as you await for another one of his responses. The more the time passes, the excessive minutes piling up in the quiet midday hum of your midtown apartment, the more noticeable Eddie’s online silence becomes.

No, you think suddenly and strongly. No, I am not doing this. 

You refuse to sit around like this and succumb so easily. All your half-healed scars thrum with aches deep-rooted within the skin you’ve grown over the last two years, screaming out in phantom pains with a reminder of what happened to you the last time you’d let yourself sit around and wait on the boy on the end of the line. Every lonely night, every tear shed, every beat of your bleeding heart — you cannot be doing this again, and not so soon. 

Quickly, you click out of your email tab and back onto the list of vendors you needed to contact for the bar commodities. Distract, distract, distract. You comb through your list. Some vendors seemed to hold more potential than others, more attainable in the grand scheme of it all. For the first time ever in your very short career of event planning, budget wasn’t the issue.

Eddie’s reputation was.

But you’re not thinking about Eddie. No, your focus was anywhere but him right now. You weren’t thinking about him, or his new cologne, or his new rings, or his new life-

Just as you pick up your cell phone to start your calls down the list, a notification pings.

Only seven minutes had passed. Seven minutes, and your phone is suddenly alight with a small but terrifying notification from your personal email.

New email from EDDIETHEBANISHED@gmail.com!

Oh, fuck.

Your thumb hesitates over the tiny banner before you release the breath you were sure you’d been holding the entire seven minutes. It shouldn’t have taken him such little time. You expected it to realistically take him a few hours, all your anxious waiting aside. 

There had been only one fatal flaw in your taunting — well, technically there were several becoming more apparent as the seconds ticked by, but only one so glaringly obvious. Your personal email address. You had forgotten.

You hadn’t changed it since high school, since moving to New York, since meeting and since leaving Eddie. 

CORRODEDSUGAR@gmail.com. 

The stupid inside joke haunts you. 

“Why does your email even matter?” Eddie huffed from where he was sprawled out on your bed, tossing around some bouncy ball he’d acquired a few nights before during dinner at a local pizza joint, “No one even uses email anymore.” 

He tossed the ball of rubber into the air once more, a blur of the rainbow swirl pattern whirring too close to your ceiling for comfort. Your focus waned from your laptop for just a moment as you suddenly shot out a hand, attempting to intercept the ball. 

No use. Eddie used one hand to swat yours away, the other happily capturing the toy in his palm with a muted thud. 

“Nuh, uh, uh,” he drawled as he looked at you with his boyish grin, eyes sparkling as his fingers closed loosely around his prize, “If you wanted one so badly the other night, you should have also coughed up a quarter.” 

You snorted, “Are you really proud of that? You spent a whole twenty five cents on a hunk of rubber, Rockstar.” 

“A hunk of rubber you’re now trying to steal from me.”

“I’m not trying to steal it,” you scowled, “I’m trying to focus here. Emails are important, despite your pessimism. Something my English teacher said about professionalism.” 

“You’re really going to listen to that dinosaur? The old O’Donnel-saurus?” Eddie mused, chuckling beneath his breath at his own joke.

You refused to crack a smile in return, or show any recognition at the awful joke, but your chest still warmed. The smoke of your affection for the boy in front of you unfurled, thick enough to choke you up a few extra seconds but thin enough to not suffocate. Never suffocate — it was a time in which you could never imagine your love for Eddie Munson being your downfall. It was a wispy and adaptable type of adoration, just like the smoke that flows off of the end of the incense you’d taken to burning in your room lately in lieu of candles. 

“It’d do you well to also come up with a professional sounding email, you know,” you hummed. You were mere seconds away from shoving your laptop away and joining Eddie in his relaxed position, maybe even laying your head on his chest or shoulder and bringing up the idea of a late afternoon nap you knew he’d never turn down, “Can’t go around emailing important people when you’re a rockstar with your Dungeons & Dragons nickname.” 

“One,” he held up a stern finger, “Like I said — I don’t use email. And two, I’m very happy with my email, sweetheart. I’ll probably email the damn President with that name. Life’s too short and we’re too young to get a stick up our ass about shit like that.” 

You reached out and wrapped your palm around his finger, tugging it down. Unlike with the ball, he let you capture him in your grasp, “I don’t have a stick up my ass about it.” 

“Yes, you do.”

“No, I don’t.” 

“Then make it something funny,” he wiggled his brows, “Make your email something stupid and live a little.” 

“A little?” you scoffed, “I think I live plenty for the both of us. You’ve put me through at least three lifetimes worth of stress before I’ve hit twenty. I probably have grey hairs already.” 

Your hand curled around his pointer finger drops to your thigh, but doesn’t release him. The touch remained, ever constant, now more for comfort rather than defiance. And he let you continue to hold him, as if your touch was a luxury he was indulging in just as much as you were his. 

“Wanna check?” he taunted. He lifted up off his back for a microsecond, tugging your arm with his before the roll of your eyes had him falling back flat once more.

It was a losing battle, arguing with Eddie.

Your conjoined hands settled back atop your thigh as you sighed. Maybe Eddie had been right, and you were stressing out too much about this. He was right; you were young, and having a dumb email was a right of passage. Something to giggle at in your maturity when you’d provide it later down the road, a flash of your youth to keep close. 

Fuck professionalism, or whatever high horse O’Donnel had been on.

“Fine,” you huffed, “What do you suggest?” 

“… To check for grey hairs?”

“For my email, you idiot.” 

A bit more back and forth, a bit too raunchy of ideas that passed Eddie’s lips only to be rejected quickly with rough shakes of your head. His finger remained locked in your palm, at some point his knuckle wiggling between suggestions to stroke at your skin. 

“Sweetheart, you’re being too picky,” Eddie finally whined as you shot down yet another one of his ideas, “At this point, just make it something related to the band. You’ll probably be Corroded Coffin’s manager when we make it big, anyways.” 

“That sounds like a nightmare,” you murmured, even if you enjoyed the thought. You already had started to get a hang of wrangling the boys in your small town for menial tasks and day-to-day activities. But on a wider, professional scale? You could already feel the headache pressing into your temples. If they ever offered you the proposition, you wouldn’t have said no, but you certainly would have complained to no end. And definitely got grey hairs.

“Sweetheart.”

The repetition of the nickname froze you. Your eyebrows furrowed as the wheels in your brain turned and you looked down at your boy, the formulation of an idea that was combining both of Eddie’s suggestions suddenly.

“Why do you call me sweetheart?” 

Eddie was taken back by your question, face crumpling with confusion, “What?”

“Why do you call me sweetheart?” you repeated yourself as you finally let go of his finger and twisted to face him fully, laptop momentarily forgotten as your legs folded beneath you and pressed into your worn mattress, “Like, I call you Rockstar because I know you’ll be a rockstar someday. Already are technically, to me, but don’t let that go to your head,” you explained, smiling shyly as Eddie narrowed his eyes and shined his dimples at you, “So why do you call me sweetheart?”

He hardly had to think about it, although his answer came out as more of a question, “Because you’re my sweetheart?”

“That’s all?”

“Is this a trick question?” 

You nearly cackled at his hesitation, “It isn’t, I swear. Just… humor me.” 

This time, he took his time to carefully deliberate his answer, “Well, I guess because it just fits,” he paused, wide eyes catching yours as you lifted your brows in question, “You know? Cause you’re sweet like sugar, and you’ve got a heart of gold,” he grabbed up the hand that once held him and drew it into his lips, peppering kisses across your knuckles and fingertips, fighting a grin as he groveled, “There. Is that romantic enough to humor you?” 

“Almost.” 

You pulled your hand away despite the fact that you wanted to let him continue his display of affection. You would have laid around all day, letting Eddie Munson shower you in all the affection he had to give. But you really needed to create this email.

And now, you had the perfect name.

CORRODEDSUGAR.

You created the account quickly. Set everything up with ease before you proudly turned your screen to Eddie. 

“Corroded sugar?” he read outloud in a murmur as a smile twitched at the corner of his mouth, “Cute. But also, very metal. Very badass. I approve, Sugar.” 

A new nickname was born that day, to haunt you and taunt you at every corner. In soft mornings when he woke before you, his voice softly cooing ‘wake up, Sugar’ as he’d brush his nose along your jaw and attempt to awaken you with needy nuzzling. Amidst heated and passionate arguments had all in good fun while out with friends, where he knew you were right but the closest he’d come to admitting it would simply be ‘whatever you say, Sugar!’. He’d even once weaponized it against you during sacred moments, where his lips worshiped you as they trailed leisurely down the skin of your torso until he’d settled between your thighs, humming as he wrapped ringed fingers around your hips and whispered nothing more than the nickname. ‘Sugar’. He had sighed as if he were a starving man, and you were the plate of sweetness that would bring him back to life.

Sugar. A prayer, a promise, a reminder. 

You couldn’t remember the last time he’d called you that. Until now.

When you’d tried to reset, rebuild, remake yourself, it had been hard to figure out a new email address. Amongst all the changes and all the decisions to be made, choosing a new email just felt overwhelming. And you’d been foolish, clung to one last relic of your past like an estranged child fisting a blanket to sleep. 

The seven minutes suddenly makes crystal clear sense. 

Whether it had really been Eddie’s rockstar connections from his fame, or simply recalling a far away memory, you hadn’t made yourself a very hard person to find. And you never considered that your laziness would have a consequence like this. 

You don’t know what else to say. Your mind keeps reading over that silly five letter word, the bold lettering jumping off the page at you. All recollections of every time he’d ever called you that slip into the forefront of your brain, slapping away any concentrated thought. 

You’d had dreams of him calling you that again. A mixture of memories and fantasies that would wake you up in the months following your departure. Compared to the other dreams you’d had amongst those, they had been a sweet reprieve. Not a nightmare of Eddie with his lips pressed to another, or mournful dreams where you reached out to him only for him to become intangible smoke where your hand should have connected with his torso. They were one of your only dreams you had awoken from without immediate tears. 

They were the type of dreams where you’d awake, and for just a moment, you’d forgotten all that had happened. They’d twist you up in a blissful blanket of delusion that he was still yours, that you were still laying in a shared bed in that small apartment, that there was still a calendar on the wall with the date of his return marked with a scarlet heart. 

The tears would come later. Once the dreamy fog cleared, and your eyes opened up to see the unfamiliar space you had taken to calling home instead.

The two of you should be discussing the release party. He should be handing over a list of requests and you should be adding them to the same page that you’d copied down Gareth’s. 

You shouldn’t be doing this. 

Talking, like nothing happened. Having a playful conversation over email that reeked of the same make-believe that had clung to your dreams of Sugar. 

He won’t break the illusion, so you do.

Messaging him from this contact only reminds you of all that could have been. All the joking conversations back in Hawkins of your involvement with the band once they inevitably blew up, all the late nights where you’d been privy to a private show as he hunched over his guitar and hummed out melodies to new songs, all the bruises those once familiar hands had left and then caressed in the afterglow. 

For just a moment, you miss it all. 

For only a second, you wish he wore the same cologne and you wish you still signed your name as you had when you first met him. You wish for days of instability and the solid touch of his shoulders beneath your palms as you convince him to take a leap of faith on himself and the band. Dancing in a small apartment, falling asleep on the phone while he was a world away, quiet confessions of love to soothe the wound that distance made grow larger — for just a moment, you want it all back. Even the pain. Even the hurt you’d been burying alive for years.

Silence. Once again, he’s left you with static lines as the minutes pass and no new message is received. 

You think you liked it better when he was being inappropriately playful. 

At least then, he was saying something. Now, as he says nothing, you have to resort back to doing your job. You bring up a knee to rest your chin on as you adjust in your home office chair, clicking over to tabs of information on a physically small but well-known venue that had several different capacity options. Ranging from a small room that could hardly fit twenty five people to a rooftop set up with the ability to entertain several hundred people. Something about it had felt very Eddie to you; reclusive, with opportunity for an afterparty. Some odd mixture of who you once knew and who you’d seen flashes of through headlines and brief encounters. You hadn’t been given many guidelines from Matt to go off of, and when you’d questioned capacity size, he’d only brushed it off.

Just something smaller than the venues they play on tour.

Would Eddie even want this small of a venue? Looking over the venue’s website, you catch sight of the approximate occupancy limit for the “largest” stage room — 750 standing. What was Corroded Coffin’s new normal? Once upon a time, you were amongst a crowd that couldn’t even break double digits. But now, a show like this might sell out for them in five minutes flat. Hell, they could probably even sell out a thousand person capacity room. 

A ding sounds to signify a new email. 

For a second, you’re nonsensically relieved when you see it’s from Eddie. You find yourself blindly hopeful for a continuation of banter, another message solely trying to get on your nerves – something to satiate that stubborn need to slip back into old habits, even if for only just today. 

It’s not. It’s a stale list of requests. Sent to your work email, this time.

No sight of his playfulness between the words. No beckoning of him taunting you, teasing you, whispering for you to just give in and play pretend with him one last time. 

It’s probably for the best. 

—

Have Mondays always been this hectic? 

Week two of working on Corroded Coffin’s album release was starting off very differently from the first week. It seemed every corner you turned, you were faced with a new challenge that only made the headache behind your temples pound more relentlessly. Denial from venues, cold calls being forwarded to voicemail when you’d reach out to vendors, and Matt being impossibly busy with the band to get back to any of your emails in a timely manner. 

If you had to hear one more venue representative turn down your business proposition with a “Sorry, but we’ve heard about Eddie’s reputation…”, you might make a detour to go jump off the Empire State Building. 

Had he really been that awful to venue properties? 

“You look stressed,” Romina notes when you hang up on your third unsuccessful call of the day, slamming the phone down more violently than you should. 

“Who, me?” you bitterly reply, looking over your shoulder to where she leans in her chair, turned entirely from her desk to watch you with gentle amusement, “Never. I have never been stressed a day in my life.” 

She quirks an eyebrow, “And before this new secret project of yours, I would have agreed.” 

“Every venue is shooting me down.”

“It happens,” you yearn to feel the nonchalance that flows through the shrug of her shoulders, as if she’s now the one without a worry in the world, “Are they giving reasons?” 

You open your mouth, but your tongue stops short. Because yes, they were each giving the same resounding, completely valid reason. But to admit this is to inform Romina what your secret project really is – something that a certain NDA strictly prohibits for the time being. 

“Conflict of schedules,” you tightly lie as your glare diverts to your computer screen, still open on a mostly empty inbox. 

Eddie hadn’t emailed you since last week. 

Somewhere amongst your frustration, there was a sore disappointment lying in patient wait. You have not a single doubt that once the storm of the task at hand passes, once you finally secure a venue, that you’ll be forced to deal with it. But for now, a boy not emailing you after being so insistent for your personal contact was the least of your worries. 

Romina’s voice draws you back in, “Really? How far out are you trying to book for?”

“Three months.” 

The squeak of her chair pauses abruptly. Your eyes shift and you catch the way all her mindless swaying has ceased, mouth flat with eyes widened in disbelief. 

“Three months?”

“What?” you finally spin your chair to face her, playing off nonchalance. You know why she’s reacting so dramatically, “Should I not be booking that far in advan-”

“I- No, no. You absolutely should be. It should actually be making it easier to book,” she leans forward in her seat, squinting at you, “Is that really the only reason they’re giving?” 

You get it. Because she’s right; giving such fair notice should be making your job easier. But you can’t defend yourself and explain how the client you’re representing is the real issue. 

“Yeah,” you force a forlorn sigh.

“Jesus,” she whistles out, “Well, that’s just… Fuck. I’m sorry, babe. That’s rough. What types of venues are you even trying for? Wait - didn’t you say you were arranging for a grand opening of a bakery? Wouldn’t they already have their shop set up-”

“Hello ladies.” 

Thank fucking God for Lydia. 

“Lydia!” you sit up just a little bit straighter, nearly leaping out of your seat with relief as your boss approaches. You knew exactly where Romina’s train of thought was heading, and you wouldn’t have been able to come up with a single pitiful excuse to keep up with your little white lie, “How are you today?” 

Romina is still perched in her chair with a confused look, but Lydia doesn’t even glance her way, looking just as concerned as she looks down at you, “I’m… fine. There’s a client for you in the conference room.” 

Straight to the point. Except, you didn’t have a meeting scheduled today. 

“A client?” you echo, shrinking down a bit. You only have one client, technically, at this moment, “I didn’t have anything on my calendar.” 

“Apparently, they were just on this side of town. Said you’d left a few voicemails and he thought it’d be easier to just pop in to discuss things.” 

It had to be Matt. He must have gotten one of your frantic voicemails you’d left over the weekend, the ones you’d instantly regretted and worried had lacked in professionalism. 

It has to be Matt. 

“Oh,” Romina’s eyes are burning holes in the back of your chair as you fumble to lock your computer screen, scrambling to gather anything you might need. The notebook you’d been using to keep track of the entire ordeal crinkles slightly in your grip, “Yeah, of course, that- I’ll go straight there. Are they in one of the smaller conference rooms or the-”

“The main one,” Lydia interrupts you, and her tone makes you pause. 

She sounds as if Matt’s arrival is the largest inconvenience she had experienced in the last month. 

Why would Matt popping in to talk to me be such a big deal? 

She’s clearly not in the mood for questions, so you only nod as you stand up, “Got it.”

And then she’s gone. No interest in joining you, or to question what could be going wrong. No sign of involvement like the day you’d originally met with the band and Matt to sign all documentation. 

Your gut twists in knots that not even boy scout’s have discovered yet. 

And they only worsen when Romina calls after your retreating figure, “Good luck with your baker!” 

You’re kind of fucked. It’s clear she’s no longer buying into your lie of your client, and the thought of facing her after Matt is nausea-inducing. What if you just came clean? Would they sue you for telling Romina? Would Romina tell anyone else if you confided in her? Your thoughts race with question after question as you quickly make your way through the maze of cubicles, taking lefts and rights far too fast as you worry about making Matt wait much longer. 

It was just stupid. Because amongst the questions, one rings out that’s insane enough to make the rest of them actually sound reasonable.

If you did manage to fuck this up in any way, would Eddie protect you?

Whether it be because you couldn’t complete the task at hand that was beginning to look impossible, or if it was because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut, would he defend you? 

You’d figured you’d lost his servitude and protection long ago, back when you’d first left that apartment and ignored every attempt at contact. But if it came down to it, would he offer you one last privilege of his defense? Probably not. Which — fair enough. You hadn’t done anything in the last week to have already earned that back. You hadn’t wanted to earn that privilege back, either. No matter how badly you found yourself wanting a new email from him in your inbox, there was a clear line in the sand drawn by your own stick, and you had to stay to your side of it. 

You were a big girl. You could handle it.

Just as you finally approach the conference room, eyes trained to the ground and brows tightly furrowed in careful consideration (definitely not frustration, because the thought of Eddie surely couldn’t frustrate you), you make a fatal mistake. It’s a small detail you’d never paid much mind to prior — a stain on the carpet just outside the doorway, subtle yet large once the shadowy shifting of the carpet’s color caught your eyes. You’re so busy letting your eyes trail the perimeter of it, trying to focus on the threaded shades rather than the shade of Eddie’s dark eyes in the hallway the week before, that you aren’t prepared when the toe of your shoe catches against the said carpet. 

You should have ate shit, to put it plainly.

One quick fumble, and you’re flying forward, hardly thinking as you throw out your hands to brace for impact. Foolish, considering the fall would have left you with severely aching wrists, or a bruised face. But it never arrives. 

Large hands suddenly appear to grab you, catching you halfway through the sudden fall, and the unfamiliar cologne that’s plagued your waking thoughts for a week now overtakes your senses. 

You thought it was Matt waiting for you.

“Woah!” his voice echoes easily in the empty hallway, “Shit, are you okay?”

You swore it was Matt waiting for you. 

“Fine,” you strangle out, pulling away from that touch as quickly as possible. Like he’s burned you. Like those hands that once knew you all too well held your entire demise in their palms.

 And they might. 

It wasn’t Matt waiting for you.

Eddie doesn’t seem shocked by your retreat, only watching with a blank face as you regain your balance on your own and avoid eye contact. He looks nice – a leather jacket too shiny to be the one he wore when you wore together, a faded band t-shirt beneath you can’t fully see the logo of but know was bought that distressed just for looks due to the familiar unfamiliarity that has begun to cloud around the man you once knew, heavy boots planted right on the stain in the carpet that had distracted you. 

“What did you even trip on?” he finally questions, looking curiously behind you as he retraces your path, “Was it-”

“Air,” you cut him off, “Save me the embarrassment, but I tripped on air.” 

If you had half a mind, you would have interrupted with something more useful. Maybe demanded to know why he was here in your office. Questioned his intentions of showing up unannounced. Asked why he never emailed again. 

Okay, maybe not that last one. 

He lets out a short chuckle, more a breath than anything else as his face finally cracks and he almost grins, “I see. To be fair, it’s an easy thing to trip on. Very hard to see. Almost as if it’s invisible.” 

He gauges your reaction, but you don’t let yourself so much as smile at his awkward attempt at a joke. 

You can’t. You can’t casually joke with him, you can’t laugh and pretend like there isn’t an elephant sitting on your chest every time you occupy the same space as him. There’s no magic eraser to everything between you two; no amount of emails, no amount of bad jokes that can vanish all that has transpired. Your past and the carpet, it seems, have something in common.

Never thought you’d say that about the ugly threads you only look at to disassociate during particularly long days. 

“What are you doing here?” you finally whisper out the right question, and internally cringe as your mouth keeps moving only to tack on a completely unnecessary addition of, “I didn’t receive any emails about a meeting-”

“Matt sent me,” Eddie shrugs. You watch the way the leather creases and fits his wide shoulders, catch yourself studying to see if there’s any new muscle beneath the layers to further estrange you further from him, “He’s been stuck in meetings for the album and single, and said you’d left him a few voice mails so… I’m the rescue team, I guess.” 

You finally look him in his eyes, jaw dropping ever so slightly, “You?”

“What about me?”

“You’re my ‘rescue team’?” the words are bitter on your tongue, his presence anything but a relief of rescue, “No offense, but how can you possibly help me?” 

And then he smiles. And, oh Lord, you’ve forgotten how nice of a smile he has. It’s painful – a sharp reminder of the past that you just can’t shake. He’s an old photograph that never quite burns, a stain on your favorite article of clothing you’ll never wear again. For a moment, it doesn’t matter how many parts of him he’s replaced, how many pieces of him have been turned over brand new and unfamiliar, because he looks just like the boy you left behind. A relic you can mourn for once you return to your apartment all alone. A whisper you’ll exchange with your children about someday, as you tell them all about the boy who changed you for the worse. 

“You’d be surprised,” he muses, reaching a hand up to drag over a chin shadowed over in faint facial hair, “Apparently, once you make it big, you have to learn about more things than just how to play an A chord on a guitar or sing in tune. Business, for example. That’s what you’ve been struggling with, yeah? The business aspect of it all?” 

You kind of want to walk away from him. To go and eat shit in a different hallway, on your way to tell Lydia you can’t do this anymore. 

“I’m not struggling,” you snap. 

He’s quick to lift his hands in surrender, “Don’t shoot the messenger. Those were Matt’s words, not mine.”

“Yeah, well, tell Matt I’m fine,” you huff indignantly, “I’m a professional who can handle myself. I can figure this out on my own.” 

You’re turning your back to him, ready to storm off dramatically for your own sanity, when he clears his throat. 

You pause. You don’t turn to look, but you halt mid-step. 

“Humor me, for a second,” he begins, “What exactly are you fully capable of figuring out on your own?” 

“The planning,” you state the obvious, staring at an odd piece of art on the office wall to your left. Not quite turning your head to him, but angling so your voice carries. 

“Yeah, no shit,” his words spark a little more anger, a little more rage, “I mean what part of the planning? You’ve left Matt at least two voicemails. Probably more, if he’s resorted to sending me.” 

More like five. Possibly seven, but you’d indulged in more wine than would be wise to admitting this weekend after receiving your third venue rejection. 

“Maybe he just got tired of babysitting you. Decided to make you someone else’s problem.” 

“Maybe,” Eddie hums, and you can hear his slow footsteps as he slowly walks to block your vision of the abstract artwork. Your gaze is cut off from the silvery lines splattered across a black background and forced upon brown eyes that are more lively than you remember from the previous week, “But I already made the trip all the way down here. Might as well make myself useful to you.” 

He’s still wearing that smile. The one that belongs captured in a polaroid at the back of your closet. The one frozen in a time that was so much simpler than this. 

The kind that leaves a mark – a stain. 

“You want to make yourself useful to me?” you narrow your eyes, straighten your shoulders, prepare for battle, “Then leave. That is the most useful thing you can do for me right now – walk out of this building, and leave me to figure this out without being a pest.” 

Your words should hurt him, but they only seem to fuel him. It’s the exact same reaction you’d imagined on the other side of all the emails. A pep to his step and a perk in his posture that elicits unhinged annoyance from deep within you. 

“No can do,” he smirks, “Sorry, I’m on Matt’s orders to not leave until we figure this out. Together.” 

You don’t care how nice Matt is – you decidedly hate him at this moment. 

“Eddie,” you don’t notice the way his chest catches when you say his name, even in your defiant tone, “I am telling you right now, there is nothing you can do to help.”

And then he takes you off guard, breathing still not quite steady as he breathes out, “Let’s go get coffee.”

“I already told you, I have no interest in getting coffee or lunch with yo-”

“Not like that,” he waves off, finally slipping back into his casual demeanor, “Just- throw me a bone here, Sugar. We don’t even have to talk. You can bring your laptop and phone, focus on work and pretend I don’t exist the entire time. But I have to stick around long enough to get Matt off my ass, and you clearly have been stuck in this stuffy ass building for too long.” 

Sugar.

Your breath catches at the nickname, just as his had when you said his name. 

Shakily, you exhale, “No, I-”

“Funny thing,” he shoves both hands in the pockets of his jeans. Well-fitted, fairly new. No signs of distress like he preferred in his youth. Just starch black that clings to skin you once knew, “I’m not asking. Technically, I’m your boss. And as your boss, I’m instructing you to join me for nothing more than a free coffee and change of scenery. Like I said, it’ll be as if I’m not even there. I’ll keep my mouth shut the entire time – strictly business.” 

You nearly slip up and inform him that it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t talk – if he’s near you, your body always seems to know. Your body, your senses, your soul. Any time he occupies the same room as you, his vicinity lights something in you impossible to ignore. It had been that way since the first day you met him. And would probably continue to be that way until the day you were buried six feet under. 

Even in death, his soul would probably haunt yours. You would never know another day of peace since meeting Eddie Munson. 

“You’re not my boss,” you argue, crossing your arms, “You’re my client. Lydia is my boss.” 

“And would Lydia appreciate you arguing with a client like this?” 

“What do you want from me?”

The question falls from your lips with unexpected weight and exasperation. 

Your arms fall down from your chest just as quickly as they’d risen, the two of you encased in silence as you both realize the implication behind the question. It’s about more than just the coffee, more than just his impromptu visit to your work. It’s the heaviest question you could have asked at this moment; and one that neither of you were ready to hear the answer to quite yet. 

There’s a million unsaid words swirling behind whiskey irises. A hundred and one conversations never had, a thousand and one battles never witnessed on both ends of this war. Something in them whispers you might not be the only one haunted. 

Maybe, just maybe, his soul will only haunt yours for as long as yours haunts his. A haunted house, a ghastly gallery. Two ghosts always meant to hang up parallel to each other in crooked frames, in an empty hallway. 

“Just a coffee,” he whispers, and something in you cracks quietly, “Just one cup of coffee, for now.” 

With all things considered, it’s not asking that much of you. 

You don’t have any fight left in you. Whether he’s here, whether he’s a world away, you’re still destined to be stuck across from him in the damn hallway. Always staring, always drawn. There might not be a single corner of this world far enough away to break whatever thread ties you to the man before you, whether you still know him or not. 

After a pregnant pause, you sigh, “Let me grab my purse.”

With all things considered, he probably should be asking more of you. 

But you’re grateful he isn’t as you retreat and do exactly as promised, not looking Romina in her eyes before you begin your doomsday march for just one cup of coffee. 

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[gallusrostromegalus]

AEIWAM : what are the divisions specialities actually ? Like obviously the 4th heal and the 11h fight but like. The 9th? Do crosswords?

BOY AM I GLAD YOU ASKED BECAUSE THIS IS SOME OF THE BEST RETROACTIVE WORLD BUILDING I HAD TO DO AND I'M PROUD OF IT.

So in canon, almost none of the guard squads have "specialist" jobs, mostly because it's not terribly important to the plot, and because the court guards were essentially formed as an ad-hoc mercenary gang to protect one city specifically, but since Yamamoto didn't have to remain loyal to any noble family specifically, he kept getting pulled in as an arbiter and more and more responsibilities heaped upon him until the Court guard squads were acting as a De-Facto government, until the old man got pissed off with being involved in everybody else's business and rounded up a gang of nerds to do that for him so he could go do sword stuff. Seriously, everything about the administrative Bullshit in Soul Society makes sense when viewed through the lens of 'this shit was made ad-hoc out of what was available by people who only kind of knew what they were doing.

So the main government of Soul Society functions approximately like so:

Royal Guard:

Only technically part of the government, the Royal guard consists of The Monk who is responsible for making sure nobody steals any more of the soul king's body parts, and the four people he chose to help/didn't want left unattended in the Spirit World: The Guy who makes Zanpaktou, the Guy who can (theoretically) heal the Soul King, the lady who can literally mess with the fabric of reality and the lady who can create new souls. They spend nearly all their time in the Royal Realm trying to prevent the universe from unrevealing further, and don't really have administrative power so much as if any one of them decided to, they could wreck house of anyone in the spirit world, so if they say something, the central 46 listens and obeys.

Central 46:

The Highest Administrative level, sets society-wide policies, mediates disputes between provinces, wrangles the noble houses, assigns aid and designs social programs. It's comprised of 46 sages and other wise people appointed by the 46 as they die off. IN THEORY "Let a bunch of academics and philosophers who presumably know what they're doing make policy" isn't *that* bad an idea by itself, but it got coupled with "Also, to make sure these guys aren't being bribed or politically pressured, let's keep them in near-total isolation :)" and that's when things got weird.

The Central 46 does try it's best to maintain a peaceful and prosperous society, but it's got to strike a weird balance and the isolation sure does not fucking help maintain a cognizant worldview.

Noble Houses:

So the soul society, by the way they measure time*, only JUST got out of a major warring states period because magical Germany invaded and the guy that lead the army also managed to get The Mandate Of Heaven, but a lot of those formerly-warring states are still around, especially the ones that stole pieces of the soul king. They're not governmental bodies, but the families have shitloads of money, private armed forces and political influence. Think of the worst possible combination of magacorporation, mercenary army and royal dynasty. The are, unfortunately, still a political force to be reckoned with.

*Badly.

Provincial Governors:

So the Soul Society is divided up into Districts like so:

(Embiggen to actually see the damn thing)

The Seireitei is in the center, with the districts counting out until the central 46 got to the outer edge they could theoretically get forces and/or emergency food to in under a month and declared everything after that "District 80" AKA "You're on your own" No taxes are collected in the 80th district and people who don't want to deal with the soul society government often try to strike it on their own out there.

Each of those little rectangles is a district, and each of them has approximately the same number of people living in it- the lower districts are densely populated and, due to their proximity to the Seireitei, well-developed. The districts generally get less developed and less densely populated as you get farter from the center, but this varies wildly by the competence of that district's Daimyo or Governor. West 51 is a much more developed district than it's position would dictate, because it's Daimyo is canny and made good use of it's mineral resources and position in inter-mountain shipping. South 14 Should be one of the nicest districts, but their Governor is a moron who keeps picking fights with the neighboring districts like he's allowed to annex them, and the district has been sanctioned from hell to breakfast over it.

Gotei-13 / Court Guard Squads:

Sort of the executive branch of the Central 46, founded out of Yamamoto's gang of criminals he rounded up to deal with the Quincy invasion back when Rome was collapsing. So the court guard acts out the orders of the Central 46, and *theoretically* has authority over the noble houses and provincial governors, but they are pretty much constantly dancing on the edge of another warring states period, so things can get... tricky.

ALSO DID NOT HELP that The Monk who guards what's left of the Soul King came down from the Royal Realm and foisted a bunch of trans-dimensional responsibilities onto them but the Specific duties of the 13 court guards in AEIWAM are as follows:

(It's worth noting that the order of the court guard squads was determined literally by the order that the 12 criminals signed the agreement with Yamamoto to protect the seireitei, not the order of importance)

Division 1: ADMINISTRATION Oh god there is so much coordination to do between the central 46, the running of internal affairs, recruitment, training new shinigami, coordinating assignments that take more than one division's input. securing and distributing funding, etc. It's main jobs are: assigning work based on policy from the central 46, running the Shinigami Academy, and actually running the Gotei-13.

Division 2: SPY SHIT Gotei-13 is a shady-ass organization with a lot of enemies and that's not about to change. The second division is responsible for keeping an eye on the provinces and noble houses and anything else of interest, "Handling things quietly" for the Gotei-13, and preventing the Central 46 from being corrupted or assassinated. The Shihon Clan has historically held the captainacy of the 2nd division as part of the compromise Yamamoto struck with the noble houses at the founding of the court guard squads to end the civil wars- that each of the 4 noble houses would hold a captain's position, until the noble houses fell apart or the court guard did. This gave the Shihon clan a GREAT incentive to undermine the shit out of other noble houses, and Yamamoto gave them his blessing to do so. Ironically, the Shihon clan was one of the first to collapse.

Division 3: INTERNAL AFFAIRS Law Enforcement, but specifically the Seireitei and shinigami/martial court/jail. The court guard kind of lives and dies by how much it's respected* and it's essential the Gotei-13 follow strict ethical standards and also a tight adherence to authority lest one of the squads break off and start a civil war. Accepting Bribes and Defying Orders are much more severe crimes than say, excessive collateral damage. The 3rd division is responsible for investigating complaints, mediating disputes between divisions, and generally making sure everyone is behaving properly. *By the noble houses, Daimyos and central 46. The average civilian? not so much.

Division 4 Medical This division was actually the FIRST established, even before the court guard really became Squads. It was Chigiri and her pack of field surgeons that commanded Yamamoto's respect and gave him the idea of letting the other criminals have minions too. 4th divison is responsible for maintaining the health of the court guard- not just emergency medicine, but vaccinations, post-service medical care, and civil sanitation- keeping the streets clean and water safe is the #1 way to prevent deaths. Until recently, this meant a lot of trained medics were doing a lot of grunt work, until Zaraki, a guy from districts where Dysentery is still the #1 killer, successful argued a proposal to Unohana that her medics should be managing other, less-in-demand squads doing the labor, which would get the jobs done a hell of a lot faster, and not back up triage as much. Unohana, who had previously not *trusted* other squads to do the work reliably, finally relented and accepted some damn help.

Division 5: Rukongai Affairs The 5th division is responsible for coordinating efforts between the Gotei-13 and the Provincial Governors- Hollow Eradication, Disaster Relief, additional armed forces to help local police, Helping distribute grain to mitigate famine, etc.

Division 6: External Affairs Responsible for representing the Gotei-13 to other groups and dealing with Noble House Bullshit specifically. While Noble House Bullshit is 95% of what they do, but technically, they're also responsible for handling diplomatic relations with the Beastfolk in the eastern districts, Las Noches after the winter war in the west, Any Kami that might come through, and Hell, if they ever get a line open. The Kuchiki family has held the 6th Division captaincy for generations as a peacekeeping measure between the gotei-13 and the noble houses.

Division 7: Incoming Souls The reason the soul society doesn't reunite people with their families when they die is that they do not actually have control over who reincarnates as themselves (and if they retain their memories), who is reborn as a baby in the spirit world, and what district they get assigned to- that's all decided at the moment of a Soul's death by Hell, using a Metric the Shinigami can only guess at. That said, the 7th still can do a lot- Souls that had to be cleansed with Konsho go through the 7th division and are escorted to their assigned districts. Other, non-hollowfied but odd case souls will end up in the pocket dimension that serves as the queue into the afterlife- people with high spiritual power, animals that achieved personhood in the world of the living and other nonhuman persons, and somtimes spirits who were almost certainly supposed to go to a different afterlife all come through. The 7th division is also charged with keeping a running tally on important statistics like the relative balance between souls, who got hollowfied and why, collecting data on who goes to hell when konsho is prefromed on them and why, and other data to try and work out Hell's metric backwards.

Division 8: Income and Funding The court guard squads are... kind of taxpayer funded. The Daimyos collect taxes from civilians, they pay those taxes to the central 46, and the central 46 disburses some of that money to the Gotei-13, but the truth is, for all the duties they're expected to preform, they're wildly underfunded. So the court guard has had to get... inventive to make sure everyone gets paid and they can do what they need to. Investments in industries, ownership of weird land grants, taking out loans, selling merchandise and straight-up schmooze have all been used by the 8th division to make sure the bills get paid. Shunsui is, by that measure, the best captain the division has ever had- he's shrewd and had astonishingly good luck when it comes to finances so there hasn't been a pay strike since he took over. Probably his best idea was handing the branding and product design of the Gikon to the Shinigami Women's Association- that one paid mad dividends.

Division 9: Information Services The ninth division is most famously home to the Seireitei's first and most largely-ciculated newspaper, but it's also the records office, PAYROLL, library, document archives, data collection and data analytics. Also, tech support. Also also: manage all the arts programs, propaganda and festivals. This is why Kaname was load-bearing to Aizen's plan.

Division 10: Living World Affairs The 10th division was responsible for monitoring the living world- mostly keeping track of hollow appearances, but also: what the remaining Quincies are up to, reporting back on useful technological advancements, any other weird shit that turns up there, and keeping track of all the Shinigami on deployment to the living world (mostly 10th division but the post-war population boom means every division's having to chip in now.

Division 11: Emergency/Heavy Deployment Every time the Gotei-13 had to do some heavy lifting, it's the 11th division's job. Mass outbreak of hollows? 11th's job. Emergency Dam repair to prevent a flood? 11th division muscle time. Daimyo got funny ideas about conquering a neighboring district? 11th division. Funcking Quincies again? 11th division. Rampaging Kami afflicted by a terrible curse? you know who to call. This was the SECOND Division to be founded, because the actual sentence that came out of Yamamoto's mouth was "Chigiri, you and your gremlins put my guts back in, Yachiru, round up some assholes and DEAL WITH THAT FUCKING THING." and the 11th's prerogative and hiring practices have not changed since. Since the 11th's work is more intermittent, there are long periods between jobs for them, and it's only recently they've been allowed to pitch in on regular maintenance and rehabilitate their reputation as a bunch of lazy degenerates.

Divison 12: Supplies (more recently, Research and Development) Prior to Kisuke Urahara's weird science boner, the 12th Division's primary job was the manufacture and supply of everything the Shinigami would need to do their jobs. Uniforms, Gigai, medical supplies, communicators, rations, Gikon, the actual buildings in the Seireitei, bedding, Protective gear- if a Shinigami received it for their job, it was made by the 12th division. Despite previous captain Kirio Hikifune being the most accomplished chef in the history of Soul Society, it's Mayuri that has made the most profound mark on Soul Society Cuisine with the fast-prepared, acceptable-tasting and surprisingly nutritious meals he developed to deal with the mass influx of souls after WW2, and the franchise distribution centers combined with his attempts at children's educational programming mean that Mayuri occupies a cultural niche in Soul Society not unlike Krusty The Clown.

Division 13: Magical Research, Kido Corps Until recently, the Kido Corps was a seperate division governed under the purview of the central 46, and the 13th division was doing it's research into Hado, Bakudo and Haikido independently, but as the two organizations worked increasingly closely together, they began to share more until the catastrophic events of Turn Back The Pendulum left the Kido Corps severely depleted and without leadership, at which point Yamamoto persuaded the central 46 to let the 13th division absorb the rest of the Kido corps and take on their work.

So that's how the government in Soul Society is SUPPOSESD to work.

[huenation]

pink horizon / cbg

word count: 2,643

genre: fluff, slice-of-life, non-idol

warnings: they sleep in the same bed at the end and i think that’s it

synopsis: bff!beomgyu comes over for a fun hangout but you know he’s exhausted and trying to play it off for the sake of hanging out. a sleepover works, too

soundtrack: pink horizon by wave to earth

the first yawn should’ve been your hint.

beomgyu’s eyes watered greatly the first time. at the time, the sun hung right above your heads, maybe late afternoon, but far too early to deem an appropriate time for sleep. that alone should’ve made you consider it all.

you and beomgyu were best friends, more specifically best friends who’d met each other in middle school and have stayed by each other’s sides even to now. you both attended the same university but didn’t have the same classes. beomgyu had it a lot harder though, living on his own once he’d graduated high school, now working two jobs, all while you still lived with your parents, working one job for spending money and savings.

you always felt guilt about it. your parents would never let him stay or let him live here with you. sure, they liked him enough for him to have dinner and such, but they were strict enough to never let him even sleep over. there were just obstacles in his way, but with a sting of some sort, beomgyu reassured you that you didn’t have to do any worrying. it wasn’t your job. he proclaimed that everything happened for a reason.

so, the time finally came for your parents to be gone for the weekend, meaning that you and beomgyu could finally hang out just the two of you even if sleeping over wasn’t on the agenda.

or it at least originally wasn’t.

beomgyu came to your place straight from a shift. it had originally been arranged that you and he would meet at his place, but after a lot of back and forth, he stubbornly decided to just hang out at your house since it was the closest from the job he’d been working at.

poor beomgyu had worked a mid shift that was just a hair after opening, so when he let himself inside, knowing the door was open, with a scold for you ready on his tongue, a yawn interrupted him before he ultimately collapsed into the fluffy sofa beside you.

“didn’t you just finish this drama a week ago?” he asked tiredly, muffled from how his mouth was buried into the pillow. you scoff and only defend your answer by how you claimed how much you loved it. beomgyu hummed, before rolling his upper body to where you were, uncaring of how his weight was all on your side. you welcomed it, huffing a little, but laying your cheek on the top of his head. he took a big inhale, exhaling just as greatly, a hand coming up to play with the textured hem of your sweater. it was thick and had purposeful frays in them.

“you tired, gyu?” a hushed question like this made his eyes squeeze and him sigh, whining from the pit of his throat just to be dramatic. but you knew his response painted an accurate picture at how he felt. you felt him nod.

“it was like the longest shift ever.”

“really? i’m sorry, beoms. if you want, we can — ” you started, getting cut off with the way he snickered, lifting his head slightly to look at you. “no, that’s how it always goes. at least when i’m looking forward to spending time with you. it’s like time can’t go by fast enough like hurry up for the love of god.” he murmured, your chuckle cutting through the spell of sleepiness, and he smiled at the same expression on your face as on his.

he blinked slowly at you, but each flutter seemed to stutter with the fringe of his shaggy, wine colored hair hanging past his thick eyebrows. it jutted into his eyes and long eyelashes. you noticed he did it like a cat blinked with the gesture of affection in mind.

“can we make some ramen and bake cookies and maybe play a game?” his question ended with yet another big yawn. the edges of his eye line gleamed with tears. it was hard not to give away how much you felt bad. your hesitance in talking about it stemmed mainly because you knew if you spoke up, he’d groan and basically tell you otherwise.

you go through this all the time.

what a gross combination of food, you thought to yourself. and you already knew if you were to say it out loud, he’d argue and go, ‘well, it’s all going to the same place isn’t it?’ ugh.

after coaxing him into getting off so you could get up, beomgyu tiredly followed after you, holding your hand to the kitchen. he loved having a hand in cooking and baking, mostly to mess around with you but also because he loved being able to provide for you and with you. for now, he kept yawning and leaning on the counter or over your shoulder to watch you put the cookie dough on the sheets or mixing the ramen in the boiling water. the combined scents didn’t smell amazing, but it did stimulate your growling tummies.

today’s shift and the one from last night really must’ve tired him out. had he been sleeping okay? even his under eyes and his shoulders give away his fatigue.

“i think you got it already.” beomgyu pointed out in your ear, chin on your shoulder. you didn’t usually mix the noodles and seasoning for this long, deep in thought enough to have done it for two extra minutes or so. “oh. yeah, thanks, gyu.” you mutter, turning off the stove. beomgyu watched you wordlessly, after having peeled himself off your back, as you put the tray in the oven, moving some loose hairs from your face. your eyes met his already staring ones. that made you so flustered!

while you plated everything, each path in the kitchen taken with bounces across each wall, beomgyu would watch wordlessly and float around to follow after you. the growing silence was making you nervous but not for yourself but for him and because of him. you couldn’t handle his gaze.

“so, what kinda games did you wanna play?” you asked finally, once everything had been moved to the coffee table and beomgyu had sat down. he laid the back of neck across the top of your couch, face upwards but his eyes remained on you, blinking so serenely. “beoms?” this time, it came quieter. the pretty seam of his lips stretched out his gentle smile.

“i forgot we weren’t at my house for a second,” his tone came out so silly in between furls of his squeaky laugh. your eyebrow arched.

“what do you mean?”

“i was gonna say something on pc, that’s all, y/n. not to worry. i think stardew valley or animal crossing. is that fine with you?” you couldn’t help but want to swoon; something about how he looked at the moment was so cute. he had a habit of pouting when he spoke sometimes. his bangs slowly fell from his brow down to the leather of your sofa besides his cheek. his smile dropped slightly. “y/n, is that alright?”

you nodded, bringing yourself out of whatever spell you were under. with that, you brought out your switch and the joycon, and the two of you commenced your fun for the night. beomgyu got tired of stardew valley quick, so you switched to animal crossing once you both had finished your ramen. he settled for watching you play, body drifting over to yours little by little until he finally had laid his head on your shoulder. it was getting later and later, so you couldn’t imagine why or how he would be able to stay up later. tomorrow was his day off from both jobs, so he was able to sleep in. with that, it meant he needed to get as much sleep as he could.

you kept playing, doing the most in your quests in the game, eating a cookie every now and then. an hour or so had passed before you dared to glance down at beomgyu, who had become a sleeping beauty. his cheek smushed against your shoulder, body angled towards yours. relief took over your body from there, a silent gasp of joy with a smile. finally, he could rest.

you couldn’t look away for some reason. beomgyu was rarely ever so relaxed and fully with his defenses down. he always had things to do. it meant you couldn’t hang out all the time, and you understood it perfectly, but a part of you agonized over something a little past the part your heart had stopped. it was bad enough he couldn’t get a break often, but if spending any time with you brought on extra fatigue or wore him out in any other way… the idea made your stomach curl. he didn’t deserve that. he deserved to be able to take a breather. you felt so spoiled and guilty.

your free hand came up to brush his hair away from his face, carding a few strands delicately. it came down to pat his head soothingly because he had said once that it reminded him of his dad when he would do it him when he’d be tucked into bed at a younger age. beomgyu missed those times. he was a nostalgic person, so sentimental about the past, but funnily enough, to you, he was timeless.

the background music played on from your game, which sat on your pillowed up lap. it was all so cozy, you wish you could be in this moment forever. life never slowed down, and it sort of scared you, but times like these were nice; it at least made it seem like life did run a little slower.

when beomgyu’s eyes fluttered open, heavy lidded and peering up at you, you nearly screamed in surprise.

“heyyyy, why’d you stop?” he altered his voice to sound like an annoying child who was about to cry, his silly, fake wail resonating until it was cut off by his unserious laugh.

“i don’t know,” you whispered out for no known reason. he blinked at you sleepily. “i don’t know.”

neither of you said anything for a while. you both looked around the room for a moment until you finally broke the silence.

“the couch is uncomfortable, huh? do you wanna go to bed?”

when he didn’t react or change his face, yours dropped with at least one ounce lost of patience.

“beomgyu, let’s go to sleep, okay?”

“but — ”

“beomgyu, i’m also tired. i didn’t do anything to deserve being tired but i still think — ”

he laughed out loud, making you drop the focus of whatever you’d been saying.

“you’re so silly,” he said in an even sillier tone. that made your cheeks run a little hotter. why was he so cute for no reason? “i wish you didn’t feel so bad about nothing like this. it actually makes me happy to know you don’t work yourself out like me.” every time you or he talked about it, you always wanted to cry. it was just a persistent urge that yanked on your heart strings. your lip wobbled but you fought it off by biting down on it, or on the skin of it rather.

“why?”

“it gives me hope. not all life is meant to be this way. stifled by capitalism…” he got so poetic when he became lucid. beomgyu looked up to you suddenly. “you make me not miserable.”

“wow, gyu, i really feel the love,” you scoffed, making him giggle.

“i do mean it. i don’t know what i’d do without you.” the more he talked, the more you wanted to melt into a puddle. you didn’t know why, accepting his affection with a nervous laugh.

when you looked deep into beomgyu’s dark, round eyes, you felt like you could see worlds and light years of life in them. it took your breath away a little more each passing time.

“well, if you weren’t still talking to me, we would have gone to sleep already, soooo…” he snorted and pulled off. already, you missed the warmth on the left side of your body. the game got turned off. darkness and quiet took over your side of the living room at that.

“would it be weird if i asked you to sleep with me? i mean, i know when we were kids, we used to do that and then, i-don’t-know, we grew up and my parents no longer let you spend the night for some protective reason, and well, it just wouldn’t feel right for us not to take advantage of them not being here. it’s not like fifty shades of gray is gonna happen between us and - oh my god, beomgyu, please answer me, so i can stop talking!” you were rambling, slurring your words with how fast you were talking. he was trying to fight his laugh, he really was! but, it was too hard to ignore how much you started sweating and how quickly you could actually talk.

“i don’t think it’s weird, y/n. if you feel comfortable with me being beside you, then i’m down to stay with you.” it took him two, separate movements to get up from the couch. he pulled you up with your hands in his.

“we can sleep in my parents’ room then. they have the biggest bed ever, and we’re finally going to get to feel it!” when you said it like that, you sounded like your past self. their room had been forbidden when you were both younger. you’d played hide and seek, and every little game known to man when you were younger, especially at your house. his heart squeezed fondly at this detail of yours.

after all these years, you have never changed.

you led him through where he could do his night routine (he brought his things in his backpack, nicely prepared!), guiding him through but above all, taking care of him in every step. beomgyu felt so taken care of, so relaxed, so happy he felt guilty about it. you even tucked him in before doing whatever you had to do to go to bed. beomgyu didn’t say another word until you finally climbed in bed with him. a body pillow was put between you. beomgyu was tucked with the comforter, in his hoodie and plaid pajama pants, on flat his back. you curled up in a ball in your own comforter, facing towards beomgyu.

“you want me to put on a movie?” you asked, making beomgyu jolt. he’d thought you’d been asleep all this time.

“i’m okay without a movie, but if you want to put something on, go for it. it’s your home.”

“it’s just as much yours as it is mine.”

beomgyu thought about the last few hours and every other time you’d ever hung out together. you worried about him so much.

your hand snaked over the body pillow and extended towards the ceiling. beomgyu didn’t say anything but you could tell he was confused.

“give me your hand, gyu,” he quickly obeyed. his fingers found yours. they felt firsthand the blisters and the veins. once your thumb found a rhythm, they rubbed at his knuckles ceaselessly. your eyes were already closing, and beomgyu quickly figured out you’re trying to put him to sleep while dozing off. his heart was beating just a bit faster than it should.

“thank you, y/n.” he whispered. the world around him was quiet, his mind just the same. the mattress and sheets around him gently held him, but nothing could beat the sensation of your persistent hand in his. his body relaxed into the bed, his hold on your fingers loosening with him. you were already skipping your way into your rem cycle, but even then, his light snore pierced through.

beomgyu had finally fallen asleep.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　 　　 　　　　 ੈ✧̣̇˳·˖✶ ✦　　

ending note: this was supposed to end differently but i forgot midway so that’s why this was super boring LOL hehe thank u for reading through if u did 😿

[reasonsforhope]

Is it true some parts will be under water in 2025? I'm kinda of worried cause someone told me about it bc it was on the news

Eh, not really. Like, technically, but that's a very dramatic way to put it.

What that person told you about was probably this prediction, which says that some roads on some of the Florida Keys might be underwater by 2025.

Does that suck? Yes. But it's also pretty limited in scope.

(And by the way, that's probably not "underwater all the time." There will probably be a number of years of "the roads will be underwater at high tide specifically." I can't currently find a source on this, but that's how tides work, and the Florida Keys article does specifically mention them as a main problem.)

The areas in danger first are pretty universally small, very low islands. Actually, a dozen or so small islands have already gone underwater in the Pacific Ocean, but very importantly, none of those islands were inhabited.

They were mostly small reef islands (that is, the entire island is exposed coral reef detritus) and other uninhabited shoals. Mostly, they were so small scientists had to check old satellite images to even figure out that they disappeared. Literally, we're talking about chunks of land that are just 100 square meters/300 square feet. Again, not great, but still very limited in scope.

As this Live Science article thankfully explains, it's pretty unlikely that any countries at all will disappear before 2100.

Also, just because land is below sea level doesn't mean it will be underwater, and there are very real steps we can take to defend a lot of endangered cities/islands.

For example:

Much of the Netherlands is already below sea level, but the country isn't disappearing, because the Dutch have put a lot of work into building and maintaining coastal defenses.

Multiple surveys (including the one that found the missing islands in Micronesia) also found that not all low-lying islands are vulnerable to erosion and flooding. This is because many islands are protected by mangrove forests, lagoons, or both

Mangrove reforestation in particular is genuinely a super effective anti-flooding strategy that is being deployed pretty widely, and is expected to increase a lot in the coming years. Mangroves are effective at not only preventing short-term flooding, but also mitigating sea-level increases (in part by preventing erosion)

Some islands, esp Pacific Islands, have actually grown during the past couple decades, not shrunk. It really depends on what the island is made up of. Not all land is automatically doomed

You can read more about how sinking countries are fighting back here, and the lessons we can learn from them:

-via Time, June 13, 2019

And finally, and this is good news for reasons I'll explain in a second:

Some of the largest and wealthiest cities in the world are at the top of the danger list. (Note: the predictions at that link are based on some fairly severe warming predictions. They do NOT necessarily reflect what's going to happen or when.)

The cities that are going to be in danger the soonest (still away btw) include New York, London, San Francisco, Tokyo, and Dubai. Lots of very rich people in those cities! Who would really like to not have to move (any of their ten different homes lol)

So, flooding aside, we're going to (by necessity) get a lot better at figuring out the quickest, cheapest, most scalable, and most effective types of coastal defenses real fast.

Are rich countries going to be way more able to get strong coastal defense systems up quickly? Yes. Does that suck? Sure fucking does!! But these solutions don't all require a lot of money or tech to implement, even at a large scale, especially when it's local communities driving the effort.

And, importantly, when rich countries pour a ton of money into figuring this out, that will hugely expand our understanding of what techniques work best, why, and how best to deploy them in different situations. Unlike physical structures, that's valuable knowledge that can be shared very, very widely.

And any technology that comes out of this is going to work like solar panels and other green energy: as more people use it, it will get cheaper and cheaper. Probably really quickly.

So, all told, no one's going to be swallowed up in the next few years. We have time to work on this and a lot of people are already doing so.

Mostly, experts predict that the first wave of large-scale issues will be happening around 2050.

Three decades doesn't sound like enough time, in the face of something like this. But you know what? Responses to climate change are speeding up exponentially, and different types of responses are multiplying and magnifying each other.

We went from inventing flight to landing on the moon in just 66 years.

I wouldn't count us out of the climate change fight yet.

(...I wouldn't count on retiring to Florida either, though)

[notsohornytoad]

Ok here we go. My first poolverine idea. So it’s simple you have Alpha Worst!Logan who is known as a monstrous alpha no sane omega dared to be with for more than a night in his universe(even before the x-men were killed) and Omega Wade who lost his looks after everything with Francis and smells like death enough that no worthy alpha spares him a glance for more than a night. That’s background, the scene I’m specifically picturing is Logan being unable to take not saying anything about his feelings for Wade anymore and presenting Wade with a courtship gift(Logan’s dog tags because I love that idea); I don’t know who is more surprised Wade(because who would a beauty who is no longer beautiful) that Logan wants to court him(ie wants him as a mate) or Logan(because who wants a beast that will never become a prince) when Wade doesn’t hesitate(after being sure Logan is serious) to accept(putting the dog tags around his neck immediately).

Here you go! It’s a little longer than I anticipated but I got a little carried away. I also posted it on my AO3. I hope you like it!!

Tags

“C’mon. You can do this.” Logan whispered under his breath to the reflection of himself in the water-spotted mirror of his bathroom. The bathroom was sparsely decorated, much like the rest of his apartment which he had acquired shortly after Wade had asked him to come home with him.

It wasn’t that Wade and Al’s apartment was too small or that Logan wanted more (in fact the apartment he had chosen was much smaller than Wade’s despite having been given more than enough money to survive on by the TVA) but rather that it made him too close to the merc for comfort.

Wade had delightfully informed him that due to the apartment’s cramped size he would have to share the sofa bed with him. Which at first sounded fine; he had shared many a bed with people before in hostels, barracks, etc.

This was different.

That first night, Wade had bound out of the bathroom in his My Melody pajamas, a plump unicorn plush tucked cutely under his arm.

“Are you ready for the most fun sleepover ever? I went out and got so many snacks. There’s mini Reese’s cups, Sour Patch Kids… I even found a box of Jujubes waaaay back in one of the cupboards that I THINK is from the 80’s but come on, they’ve got so much preservatives we’ll probably be fine… plus our teeth grow back if we break them anyway so—“

“I’d rather just get some sleep, Wade. We kind of had a long day remember?” Logan was wearing an oversized shirt that said “Obi-Wan ComeBoneMe” that he had graciously borrowed from the other man, as well as some heart patterned boxers.

“Yeah, ok. I am pretty tired.” Wade said, obviously not very tired, as he plopped down next to Logan.

Logan gave him a sort of half-smile.

“Goodnight, Wade.”

“Night, Peanut.”

Wade reached over and turned off the table lamp. Logan waited for the inevitable yapping to start… but it never came. Despite being seemingly full of energy mere minutes prior, Wade fell asleep quickly. He was drooling.

Sleep never came easy for Logan, however. He stared at the dark ceiling, his mind racing, going over every detail of the past few days, back to the day Wade found him, plastered in that bar, wishing he could die.

He thought of Scott, of Jean. The people he let down. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes and his breath quickened a bit. A familiar feeling.

As he gripped the sheets beneath him, waiting for the panic to set in, Wade moved in his sleep. His arm went over Logan and he cuddled his face into his neck. He was mumbling something about a taco truck.

Logan went stiff. His heart was racing, yet a strange calm washed over him, almost like an ecstasy. It was Wade’s scent. They had been close like this before, many times… but there had been too many distractions: blood, adrenaline, his own anger. Here in the quiet of the night, it was amplified.

Wade’s scent was uniquely his own. There were layers to it, like a designer perfume. The most prevalent smell, which is what most alphas would abhor, was death. A sickly sweet warning provided by the cancer that ravaged his body, the cancer that his healing factor kept at bay.

Logan, however, had a nose that was far more keen. And as he lie there, just slowly breathing in and out, the base layer became more prevalent. This was Wade’s original scent: his omega flavor.

It somewhat startled Logan that he hadn’t noticed this before. Wade was an omega. How could he have not sensed it? Of course no one else did either, it seemed… maybe it was the fact that his smell of decay was too strong for the average alpha to scent… maybe it was just that Wade’s power to annoy and piss people off was so distracting that even if someone did get a whiff they thought it couldn’t be true. But it was.

And it was intoxicating.

In the morning that followed, Logan awoke to Wade nudging his nose into Logan’s neck.

“Mornin,’” he said, his voice full of sleep, as he sat up and stretched. “Guess I really was too tired, I don’t even remember falling asleep. How’d you sleep, pumpkin?”

“….great,” Logan said, surprised by his answer. He really did.

Wade rambled on about breakfast and how he had to take Mary Puppins out for a walk, but the rest of the conversation sort of became noise to Logan. He was unable to process anything. All he could think was…

It was dangerous.

He was dangerous.

He was reminded of all the people he had loved in the past. How he always ended up (either physically or emotionally) hurting them.

And so that day, he had left.

It wasnt too hard to find an apartment. People in this world thought he was the other Logan- the brave, selfless Logan. So someone cut him a deal on a tiny apartment that was about a twenty minute walk from Wade’s.

At first he hadn’t thought to really buy any furniture. He thought that just sleeping on a mattress on the floor was enough. But when Wade had invited himself over the following day and said “damn bitch, you live like this?” He decided to get a couch.

Then a few days after that, Wade had showed up with a bunch of food. He tried to protest but the other man had already bodied himself through the door, Mary Puppins in tow.

They ate together on the couch and watched YouTube videos on Wade’s phone. He didn’t know what a “Minecraft Let’s Play” was but it didn’t really matter. The next day, he found a cheap dinner table with two chairs on Craigslist.

And so it continued. Wade would visit every day, with a big smile on his face and dinner in a bag. And every night he’d go home, but his scent lingered. Logan found that he would sleep on the couch instead of his floor mattress because it was where Wade had been sitting all night.

It was strange to not have night terrors.

It was even stranger that Wade, an omega, had been leaving his scent on everything and yet it hadn’t drove Logan crazy. The past had been so predictable: an omega would leave their scent as invitation for a rough night from a rough man. Most got more than they bargained for. None ever stayed.

Before he knew it, months had passed. His apartment was still barebones by most people’s standards but he had the essentials. Mostly thanks to Laura.

“Thanks again for helping me figure this thing out,” he said, tossing his smartphone on the table. It was a Saturday, which was usually the day they spent time together.

“Well you did say the phones in your universe were different.” Laura said, after swallowing a mouthful of Corn Flakes.

“Yeah they were like little bricks and the screens were like green and black. But you couldn’t break em if you tried.”

“So when are you gonna tell him?” She said with her mouth full.

“Tell who what?” Logan’s brow furrowed as he emerged from the fridge with a cold beer.

“Wade.” Chew chew.

“Okay. And what am I telling him?” He asked before cracking the can open and throwing it back.

“That you want him to be your mate.” Chew.

Logan inhaled, choking on liquid. He doubled over, sputtering.

“Cmon,” Laura said. “Don’t lie to me. I can smell it on you. I can smell him everywhere. Scent doesn’t lie.”

And so here he was. It had been about two weeks since she had brought it up and it took him three days to accept it. Three days of Wade coming over and Logan finally noticing how his heart swelled whenever he looked at him, how he felt less annoyed by his constant jokes, how his flirting made a heat rise up in his chest.

The rest of the time was him building up the courage to confess.

“God.” Logan looked down at his left hand which was balled into a fist, a long ball chain hanging down from it. Slowly his fist opened and he stared at the metallic tags that bore his name.

“Cmon. You’re not a teenager. This ain’t prom. Just do it.” he started to walk towards the door, but stopped, feeling a wave of nausea. I can’t. He won’t want you. He flirts with everyone. It doesn’t mean anything.

Just as he started to turn around, a voice came from the other side of the door.

“Wolvy? Did you fall in or something?” There was a knock. “I didn’t bring my water wings I don’t know if I’ll be able to fish you —“

Logan opened the door.

“—out. Oh good you’re ok.” There was Wade, grinning at him like an idiot. A stupid, adorable, lovable moron. Logan suppressed the urge to hug him to his chest.

“Sorry.” He said, pushing past the other, as if he were going to the dinner table. It was covered with white Chinese food boxes. “Don’t you think you went a little overboard? There’s enough here for ten people.”

“Yeah sorry. But the lady that runs that place threatened to poison me if I didn’t get one of everything cuz her restaurant is close to going bankrupt and she had this huge knife—“

Logan had stepped up to Wade and covered his mouth with a hand.

Only moments ago, he had thought “it’s now or never” but now that Wade was shut up the silence felt smothering. Logan lowered his hand.

“I…. Uh….” God his throat was dry. Why was it so hot in there?

Wade looked bewildered, his beautiful mouth slightly agape, and Logan couldn’t help but think about how kissable his lips were.

“So I uh… been thinking…” he started, cursing himself for rambling. Shouldn’t this be romantic? Why was he so shit with words when it mattered?

“That uh… maybe you could wear these.” He held up his hand, palm up, almost showcasing the tags. “For me.”

Wade’s eyes had been glued to Logan’s face as he talked. He slowly lowered them, until they rested on the glinting metal.

“…..your…. Those are your tags.” He said, his voice uncharacteristically small.

“Yeah.”

“But that would…. mean…”

“Yeah.”

Logan couldn’t tell what sort of expression Wade had on. He was staring blankly at the tags, before he looked up and locked eyes with him.

“That’s not funny.” Wade said, his eyes glassy, as though he were holding back tears.

“What- what do you mean funny? I’m being serious.” Logan said.

“Right. Mr Most-Handsome-Man-in-the-Universe, courting Pizza the Hutt.”

Logan didn’t know that reference. “Huh??”

“Hello??” Wade waved his hand over his own face. “Freddy Krueger’s Ball Sack? The Mince Meat Special? Arby’s Beef and Cheddar?!” A small tear has snuck its way down his face.

Logan couldn’t believe it. He had been so obsessed with the thought that Wade would reject him for being, well, the worst Wolverine, he didn’t plan for this scenario.

“You’re not ugly.” He stated, factually. It was starting to make him mad, the way Wade was talking about himself.

“Okay, now I know you’re going senile. We’re gonna have to get you some glasses grandpa, because I literally make babies cry. I am so ugly that—“

“Shut up.” Logan growled, before taking a step forward and pressing his lips to Wade’s. When Wade didn’t kiss back, he pulled away.

Had he made a mistake? Of course he had. Why would Wade want a failure like him? He couldn’t even get his feelings across right.

“You….” Wade said, blinking dumbly. “You kissed me.”

Logan felt shame. He swallowed, ready to apologize.

“You’re… serious? You want me?” Wade asked, his voice small again.

Logan couldn’t find his voice. He just nodded once.

A grin slowly spread across Wade’s face. He leaned forward, bowing his head. Logan almost forgot to breathe as he shakily unclasped the ball chain and placed it around Wade’s neck, securing it behind him.

When Logan let go, Wade stood up straight, Logan’s dog tags around his neck.

“Well? How do I look?” Wade asked, his grin never faltering.

“Beautiful.” Logan answered. And he was. Beautiful. His.

“Oooh does this mean we’re gonna bump uglies now?!”

His beautiful idiot.