#the unbeatable humour

[mik-ro-kosmos]

i’m convinced tumblr is just for incredibly autistic people

[aryana-thefairy]

Astrology observations part-3 🦋

🦋Libra Sun have the best complexion and usually clear skin. The sun radiates from within. They act silly to confuse people but they are wise. I have never seen an unattractive Libra sun. There is something about them that makes them so pretty. Everyone’s crush.

🦋Venus in 11H has to do with glamour. They have classy rich social circles. Tend to have more friends from the opposite sex. The friends have a big impact on them. A desire for rich successful high profile life. Also, tend to be a hoarder. They are loved by all.

🦋I love how opinionated Aries women are. They tend to be feminists or environmentalists. They scare the hell out of men. It's their way or high way. Why do so many aries women have water sign children, it's cute.

🦋People with Saturn with 0-degree placement were independent from a young age. Since the time they were born, they were already done with everyone’s shit. Might not have the easiest childhood. Also, tend to be emotionally closed off as adults. But my god their sense of humour is dark, with the right crowd, they truly shine.

🦋Lilith in 1H or Lilith conjunct ascendant, so what is it like being accused all the time? Women accuse you of stealing their boyfriends and men accuse of you flirting even when you are not.

🦋Lilith in 12H, I already mention this placement in previous observations. Let's look at the positive side. Your sensual energy might not be too upfront. But people can’t forget about you. You haunt their subconscious mind. So there is a tendency for others to get obsessed with you. Your ex-lovers or friends can never get over you. It's impossible.

🦋The wit of Gemini mercury is so hot. Their memory is too good. An intellectual.

🦋Virgo mars are so logical and strategic with their actions. I would go to them for any kind of advice. They are the master planners. Ready for anything.

🦋Scorpio midheaven, they are people’s guilty pleasure. People hate them because they can not be them. At the same time they are appealing to others, everyone has eyes on them.

🦋Neptune in 1H have trail of copycats. It is what it is.

🦋I feel Sagittarius's placement have too many love interest. Best bodies. Amazing butt. Especially Sagittarius rising are some of the prettiest people I have ever seen.

🦋Venus in 2H tends to marry rich. They can become famous too.

🦋Sun in 1H or Sun conjunct ascendant are warm, charismatic, and regal. They appear radiant and have glowing complexions. Prominent foreheads. I don’t think this placement has any cons. Definitely makes life easy. Can be self-centred. Divine wisdom. Powerful leaders. 

🦋Aquaruis rising look exotic or unique. They often appear eccentric and would constantly say they are weird. Gives off maniac pixie girl or guy vibes.

🦋Cancer Mercury / Taurus Mercury are great listeners. They are the true best friends. Empathetic. Provide words of comfort to others. I think it takes great emotional intelligence to be understanding and empathetic. Cancer mercury is unbeatable in that aspect.

🦋Capricorn suns are frank and straight to the point. They are the least problematic people of all. If you have beef with them, it's mostly one-sided because they are focused on building their empire. They take no shit from others and might appear cold. They are real sweethearts. Capricorn sun/moon / rising are often the eldest children in the family.

Disclaimer: Take what resonates with you. Personal observations are biased.

[starlightrosa]

Battleships

Summary: Charlie and Angel are playing a game of Battleships. But not with pen and paper. More like marker pens, and ticklish backs as their papers. Just so happens that these ticklish backs are property of Lucifer and Alastor.

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Tickling, swearing, Angel Dust's unique humour, a bit of depressing talk concerning Alastor's mum (Alastor do be a mama's boy and he big sad) but mostly fluff <3

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another day in the Hazbin Hotel, and there was a very obvious mood of mischief. Ticklish mischief, to put it much more obviously. There seemed to be tickle fights breaking out every hour between Charlie and Vaggie, Niffty was running round and tormenting whichever unlucky soul was within reach with her feather duster, and even Husk was sneaking in a few underarm tickles whenever Angel Dust was too close to the bar.

It was driving two certain people in the hotel up the wall, but for two very different reasons.

Lucifer was one of the affected. He had woken up craving to be held. Or cuddled. Or tickled. Hell, the king had no idea what he wanted relating to specifics. But damn it, if he didn’t get some form of human touch in the next three minutes, then the world was going to end.

Alastor was the second affected by the ticklish mischief ravaging the halls of this rinky-dink hotel. But Alastor thought this playtime was silly. It’s Hell, who spends their afterlife trying to tickle someone else, where every day was utter torment and suffering punctuated by the wails of the eternally damned and the screams of tortured souls? That was a background noise Alastor preferred, to see lost souls drown in an ocean of failure.

But the radio demon could not dwell on his preferences. He would be busy soon, for that charming Charlie had planned a little board game tournament of sorts in an effort to build trust among the hotel patrons. A silly idea, but Alastor didn’t think there was any benefit to crushing the princess’s feelings, so he kept schtum for now.

The crazy tickling vibes from earlier seemed to have petered out. Yet in the hotel’s lobby, Angel Dust and Charlie were locked in a fierce game of something Charlie called ‘Battleship’. Their hastily drawn paper grids and pencils lay in wait, the pencils pointed at each other like military-grade weapons.

“E6.” came Charlie’s voice. Angel laughed, picking up a blue marker and putting a big ‘X’ on that coordinate.

“Missed again, twinkletoes.” Angel crowed.

“Shit. Your go.” Charlie said, waiting for Angel’s guess. The alluring arachnid sinner thought for a bit, before making his guess.

“A4.” Angel guessed. And if the loud groan from Charlie hinted anything, seems Angel had scored a point, or did something right. Alastor wasn’t quite sure how this game worked.

“Ugh, fuck! Hit.” Charlie groaned, picking up a red marker and blotting it with a crimson ‘X’. Angel pumped one of his many fists in the air, no doubt in a victorious manner, or for a quick bragging right. One of the two.

“Hot damn. I am unbeatable at this game!” the spider crowed, looking much too pleased with himself. Alastor rather thought that this game, while simple, did indeed look a bit fun. Not as fun as actually destroying something, but… close enough. And it wasn’t just the radio demon who had heard this game. Lucifer knew what Battleship was. But he didn’t dare come down, for fear of making his obvious lee mood even more obvious, and the markers Charlie and Angel were both using was sure to drive Lucifer crazy with want.

But the princess and spider sinner had seen the way both had been acting. Lucifer’s shaky and nervous demeanour, compared with Alastor trying to be aloof and uncaring like always in an effort to mask his curiosity at the game they were playing was a rather funny thing to see indeed. And Charlie made this known to Angel, with both setting up for their next game, fresh sheets of paper and newly sharpened pencils at the ready for their grids.

“We should get my dad and Alastor in on this game, Angel. I think they’d enjoy it.” Charlie whispered quietly, the princess barely masking a smile of her own. She wasn’t stupid; she knew the tells of her father in a lee mood, namely because she did mostly the same thing when she was in one herself, from the nervous glances at wiggling hands to refusing to look at anything that could even be vaguely considered as a tickle tool.

“Oh yeah? Good idea, Princess. Your dad would go for it, but how the hell are we going to get Alastor in? Does he even know this game?” Angel asked.

“I think Vaggie and me having all those tickle fights has… kind of made my dad want something similar, if he hasn’t been wanting to be tickled since he woke up. Alastor is always smiling, but he needs a genuine smile. So here’s my plan…” the princess said, highlighting the fun parts, while Angel listened carefully.

“We’re gonna make them our game boards. You and me, Battleships. Red marks for hit, blue marks for miss. I know my dad has a ticklish back. I don’t know for Alastor. I know he’s ticklish, but he would never say where. So let’s have some fun with this.” Charlie giggled. Angel had a hint of mischief in his own mismatched eyes. This was going to be entertaining.

Late afternoon soon gave way to evening, and as the moon came up into the crimson sky of Pride, the pentagram sun descending down for another day’s end, Alastor and Lucifer finally came into the hotel’s game room, seeing paper and pens dotted about. Alastor sent a barely disguised joyful look at Lucifer’s muffled whine, seeing so many markers strewn over the room.

“Ah! There you guys are. We’re just about to get started. Me and Angel are gonna play Battleships.” Charlie explained, gesturing to them both to sit on the floor, which both men did happily. Lucifer watched Charlie draw her grid, while Alastor was on Team Angel, watching the spider scribble his own grid.

“Why do we need to be witnesses for this? This seems just like a two-player duel.” Alastor pointed out. His question did have merit, and Charlie barely concealed a laugh as she quickly screwed her paper up and tackled Lucifer to the floor. Before Alastor could even laugh at the daughter of the king taking down the monarch so fucking easily, a similar weight slammed into the radio demon’s own back. Alastor gasped and fell forward, twisting his head quickly to see what the fuck had happened, only to see Angel’s grinning face above him. Oh, those cheeky little shits.

“Angel, what is the meaning of this?!” Alastor demanded, doing his best to wriggle. But his demands were silenced, because with a brisk snap of Charlie’s slender fingers, golden rope twisted gently around Alastor and Lucifer’s wrists, tugging both pairs of hands up and out of the way.

“Sorry, Smiles. Me and Princess Charlie are gonna play our game of Battleship. You and FancyPants over there get to be our game boards, so yay for you guys~!” Angel explained, a wide smirk on the spider’s features as he took a seat on the back of Alastor’s thighs, Charlie doing the same with her father.

Both Charlie and Angel worked to quickly pull the jacket off each of them, and rolled their shirts up, exposing the skin underneath. Lucifer’s porcelain-white back awaited Charlie, the king already shivering with barely-repressed laughter, and Alastor’s scarred back was presented to Angel.

So many scars, hot damn. Angel traced a couple of the thicker ones absentmindedly, to a choked back snort from Alastor. Well, this was not how the Radio Demon expected the night to go. One could definitely confirm that this was NOT on the bingo card.

“Hah, ya sound like Fat Nuggets.” Angel teased, referencing his beloved pet pig, smirking down at Alastor.

“Oh shut up- Mmph!” Alastor began to demand, but he snapped his mouth shut as he felt the cold tip of a marker gently trace on his back. From what he could feel, Angel seemed to be drawing a grid of sorts. Charlie seemed to be doing the same, and judging from the noises opposite, Lucifer was already giggling and doing his best not to squirm.

“Oh, you got a ticklish back, do ya Smiley? Shit, how the hell are you gonna last this game?” Angel laughed.

“I ahaham gohoing to dehestroy yohohou ahand thehen-!” Alastor threatened, but his threat was cut off by a shrill squeal from Lucifer, and then rapid pounding as the king’s boots hit the floor rapidly, the king giggling freely. Alastor knew his back to be fairly ticklish, but by the sounds of it, Lucifer’s had to be far worse. The thought of that almost made him feel bad for the king. Almost.

Charlie and Angel rested their markers down on each side of their ‘game boards’. Red and blue, one on each side. Both Lucifer and Alastor’s backs were drawn on to mimic a Battleships grid, from letters A to J, and numbers 1 to 10.

“You’re goin’ down, princess.” Angel laughed. Charlie sent a mischief-laced smile back his way to the spider sinner.

“In your dreams, Dust.”

And with the fighting words out of the way, the game officially began. Charlie had the first call, at Angel’s insistence. Or as Angel put it, “Ladies first and all that shit.”

“C3.”

Angel located the spot – at the top left side of Alastor’s back. He poked softly, and pinched a few times. No reaction from the Radio Demon, not even a wobbling smirk. With a disappointed tut, he picked his blue marker and drew an ‘X’ into that spot on Alastor’s back.

“Miss. In return… F2.”

Charlie nodded, finding that spot – top middle of her father’s back, at the top of his spine. She pinched that spot and poked softly. Lucifer gasped and broke into squeaky giggles. Because his hands were tied up, as were Alastor’s, the king nor the radio demon could even dream of moving.

“Hit! Nice, Angel.” Charlie smiled, picking up her red marker and drawing a red ‘X’ into that spot. “My go. Umm… I’ll say H9.”

Angel nodded and looked down at Alastor, noticing the eternal smile now had some kind of nervous look to it. Angel pinched at the annotated spot on Alastor’s back, enjoying the radio demon struggle under the spider.

“Damn, nice shot Princess!” Angel laughed. “Looks like he’s ticklish as fuck here.”

“Angel, I’ll kihihill yohoHOU! Stohohohahap ihihit!” Alastor tittered, squirming side to side. Angel Dust couldn’t help but laugh, grabbing the scruff of Alastor’s collared shirt to avoid being tossed off.

“Jesus, it’s like I’m on one of those bucking bulls in the bars downtown.” Angel joked, steadying himself atop Alastor’s back with a few ruthless side squeezes before the demon could get a chance to throw him off.

“AH! Ahahangel, I’m gohohoing to rihihip yohohour tongue ohohout!”

“Stop laughing first, Smiles.” Angel shot back. “Oh wait. Ya can’t, cause you’re too ticklish~!”

“Alastor, you aren’t in a position to make threats anyway.” Charlie teased, as she awaited Angel’s next guess.

“Let’s go for D1.” the spider guessed. Charlie found the spot quite easily, anyway, unleashing another series of quick fire pokes. Sadly, nothing from Lucifer despite the huge lee mood that plagued the king.

“A-Ah… oh good, I’m okay.” Lucifer whispered, shoving down his smile.

“Missed, Angel.” Charlie said.

“Ah, fuck. Well, if I missed him, I gotta kiss him. Pucker up, Daddy Morningstar~” Angel joked, enjoying Alastor’s muffled snickering and Lucifer’s panicked babbling at that idea.

“I don’t think my mother would appreciate that, Angel.” Charlie laughed, the melody of laughter in the room bringing a huge smile to her face. It was nice to see everyone enjoy themselves. “My go. So let’s try one spot up. H8.”

“Real original.” Angel joked with a playful eye-roll, even as he moved one square up and pinched and poked that spot on Alastor’s back. Alastor couldn’t help it, and a deer’s squeaking noise left his mouth.

“Nice, Charlie. Hit!” Angel announced, drawing a red ‘X’ into that spot on Alastor’s back, which Alastor would argue tickled more than the actual poking bit itself. And the fact that Angel was very slow in drawing the crosses themselves just made everything that much more maddening.

Lucifer and Alastor would never admit it, but both men were actually having some semblance of fun. Lucifer was happy his daughter involved him in this game, even if it was at his expense.

Alastor did enjoy the fun and mischief this place offered. In a way, this was probably something his mother would have done, had they both been still alive. Alastor’s heart ached painfully at the thought she was in Heaven and he couldn’t see her, or talk to her, or to be held in her arms a final time.

By the time this fierce round of Battleships ended, both Lucifer and Alastor’s backs were covered in a plethora of red and blue crosses. Alastor had red dotting both his top and lower back, and blue in the middle.

Lucifer had many more red crosses, and only a smattering of blue marks over his obviously very ticklish back. Both men were panting slightly by the time the game was finally over.

“Well, this was fun.” Charlie smiled. Angel nodded.

“Aw hell yeah, toots. We have to do this again.” Angel smiled.

Alastor was quick to loudly protest. “NO!! Not again, I forbid it and-!”

But a series of skittering fingers along his upper back shut the radio demon down quickly, and Alastor was floored, his normally reserved laughter giving way to squeaky giggling. Oddly adorable.

“Round two, Angel~?” Charlie asked with a smirk. Angel’s mischievous grin clawed its way back onto his face.

“You read my mind, Princess.” Angel responded sweetly, both princess and sinner looking at Lucifer and Alastor with a shared evil grin. And after the necessary cleaning time to wipe the grid off Lucifer and Alastor’s backs (only for the grid to be drawn back on each of them) the laughter from the hotel carried on well into the wee hours of the morning, the battleship duels between Charlie and Angel Dust raging on.

The End!

[kquil]

SIRIUS BLACK | 01:27 ⏤HIS FAVOURITE NEIGHBOUR

SUM : because of his ambition for music, sirius drives many of his neighbours to near madness until they eventually move away and then you move in...

G. : modern au ; muggle au ; rising rockstar sirius ; rising rockstar marauders ; neighbours au ; fluff

LENGTH : 0.8k

Sirius has gone through his fair share of neighbours and he can’t blame them; in his pursuit of music with the Marauders, his electric guitar has helped drive them away sooner than their contract ends. He has yet to maintain any pleasant interactions with his neighbours, all of the ones he’s had have been decent at first meeting but that’s usually when he’s greeted to welcome them into their new home, simple pleasantries. It’s a few days into living beside him that complaints start. 

It doesn’t bother him too much, seeing as they never stay long enough or were pleasant enough to be around for Sirius to befriend them but it was still a shame. 

And once again, the cycle restarts. 

“Oh hey,” Sirius greets with his usual boyish grin, devilish and delinquent, “so you’re going to be my new neighbour, huh?”

“Yup,” you smile, setting down some of your final few boxes to outstretch a hand, “I’m (Y/N), it’s nice to meet you…”

Sirius shakes your hand with a smile, “Sirius Black at your service,” he brings your knuckles to his lips and winks playfully as you giggle, “nice to meet you too,” he greets, disguising his internal grimace with some light humour; the thought that you may not be as sweet to him in just a few days from now brings a sour taste to his mouth. It’s a shame, because you’re super cute. 

“Sirius…” you try saying his name with a growing smile on your face, “like the star?” Sirius nods with a shrug as you smile, “Cool name,”

“Thanks,” just as you’re about to pick up your boxes again, Sirius breaks the ice, “listen, I just wanted to warn you about something,” he uncharacteristically rubs the back of his neck with a hand, looking troubled as you raise a brow. 

“What is it?”

“I’m a guitarist, I play the electric guitar, actually,” you smile, originally cautious but already understanding where he was going, “so I would play often and it gets loud, just some fair warning,”

“I see, thank you for letting me know,” you nod thankfully, smiling and pick up your boxes again. 

“I’ll play only at reasonable times, I promise,”

“I’ll hold you to that,” you nod thankfully to him once more and go about moving in your things again, leaving Sirius to flash a bitter smile before making his way into his own home. You’re pleasant now but he’s sure you won’t stay sweet and adorable for long, you wouldn’t be the first…

Weeks pass and not a single complaint. 

Sirius was ecstatic. Not a single fucking complaint! You’re a saint, always greeting him with your usual smile whenever you two catch each other and he gushes about you endlessly to the boys. 

“She hasn’t complained once!” Sirius sighs with relief and connects his guitar to the amplifier, lowering the volume just slightly; he’s willing to be more courteous since you’re so understanding and pleasant, “what an angel,” he says more to himself than the boys as they share a look between one another. 

“This’ll be the first time we’re practicing together though,” James reminds him as they settle behind their instruments, “this will definitely test her understanding,” he chuckles as Sirius bites his lip nervously. You were so perfect, he doesn’t want to see you go now. Not only do you not seem to mind the music but you’ve treated him to home baked goods every saturday too and he doesn’t want it to ever end; your cookies are unbeatable!

“Come on guys…” he starts but is cut off by James practicing his part of the drums, Remus soon joining him on bass with a sympathetic smile and Peter follows with the keyboard. 

Muscle memory persuades Sirius to eventually join, playing only a few minutes more before he’s stopping everyone and forcefully lowering the volumes on Remus’s amplifier, on Peter’s keyboard and warning James to ease up on the drums or so help him…

“Alright alright, jeez, I just wanted to make sure this girl was the right one….” he pouts like a scolded child and the group continues to play with considerably lowered volumes. It was so far reduced that they were easily interrupted by a loud banging on the wall you shared with Sirius. 

As soon as they stop, they hear you shout through, “TURN THAT SHIT UP! THIS IS MY TYPE’A MUSIC!”

Everyone laughs, Sirius with the most relief, throwing his head back and they all make the proper adjustments. 

“Lucky,” Peter sighs with a pout, “I wish my neighbours were like her,” 

“Don’t we all?” Remus agrees with a nod. 

“Looks like she’s as perfect as you said, Pads,” James teases. 

“You should try her cookies,” Sirius winks, “they’re to die for,”

“Lucky bastard,” someone whispers and Sirius just laughs. 

PART TWO

A/N : i love rockstar sirius but what was his life like before all the fame? and then this timestamp came to be! i hope you enjoyed the reads, lovelies!

TAGLIST : @melinajenkins ; @astonishment ; @until-i-found-you ; @goodoldfashionedluvergirl ; @tiensmamains

NAVI.

[pyrovverse]

THE MILITARY MAN .

Brian Thomas was something of a social butterfly, a mans man. He raised by his father, Robert Thomas, in Auburn, Alabama. In his early years Brian was a friendly, outgoing boy who took on a lot of Roberts ideals and values.

Robert was a veteran who served 10 long years in the military. He had a wide range of knowledge on topics such as weaponry, cryptography, and was a rather disciplined man. As an excitable young boy, Brian would sit by the elders side as stories of war, brotherhood and triumph encompassed his developing mind. The strict, yet good man his father was paved a clear road of friendliness, assertiveness, and firm handshakes for the boy. Cryptology was an interest that Brian picked up from Robert, learning morse code and phonetic alphabet by heart.

In high school, he would begin to develop a keen interest in psychology, interested in how the mind works and how to guide patients through hard times. Deep empathy for others came natural as he would stay true to his fathers teachings of respect, kindness, and maturity in all situations. Brian was an outgoing, charismatic boy with a witty sense of humour. He was the type to light up a room with a clever one-liner or a bright smile. The boy had a good head on his shoulders, and his good grades proved he had a remarkable grasp on the world and his place in it.

After graduation, Brian moved to Tuscaloosa, Alabama where he began working towards a bachelors degree in psychology, and minoring in video production. It was at the University of Alabama where he met Tim Wright, and later an ambitious man named Alex Kralie. During the summer of ‘96, when Brian was 18 years old and in his first year of university, he and his friend Tim joined a cast for a student film called Marble Hornets, filmed and directed by Kralie himself.

Brian would spend 7 long, torturous years falling into the hands of a deep, unshakable sickness from that point on. It started out with a boy blinded with innocence, such a hopeful view on the world, a future to strive towards. His memorable grin would soon fade as he fell victim to a series of gruesome and violent incidents between the unfortunate cast; the main perpetrator being an entity far beyond the groups comprehension. It strung Brian and his peers up and forced their bloody hands like a parasitic puppeteer.

At the end of those seven torturous years, Brian was left alone with a horribly bruised spine from a fall, two dead friends, and blood on his hands. Life would never be the same, and now he was nothing more but a conduit for the strange entities motives, if it had any to begin with. As far as anyone, including his father, was concerned, Brian Thomas was dead. And while he still walked the earth as nothing but a shell of a man, he certainly felt that way.

His optimism and boyish enthusiasm faded through years of torment and harsh lessons from unreality, to be replaced with a much colder, vengeful side. Brian would dance with criminals, tango with killers. He would put on a face, the Hooded Man, or Hoodie, to protect his real identity and possibly to make the cruel persona a bit more real. He did what needed to be done, and a good, friendly person he was no longer.

Brian Thomas continued his life holding the values of his father close to his nearly unbeating heart. And while now he was a monster by any definition, he stayed true to his word, and his handshakes were always firm. This is the life the man would make for himself, carrying the weight of the sickness and the underground on his sore back. This was all that was left after the war, if he ever had gotten out of it.

[tkfluff-fanatic]

Sighs. Sighs so hard.

ZVONKO T. BLOKOVIĆ (OC) HEADCANONS.

50/50 switch

Ler

I can't believe I'm fucking doing this. Ok whatever.

He's a childish man expect childish shit from him

Also expect fake pity lolol

Probably laughs at (not along with) the lee. FUCK IBHATE HIM I HATE

Sorry.

Grinning the whole time too. Bastard

He looks scrawny as fuck but that man's a miner, he's strong! He'll pin the lee down if he must...Though he doesn't usually do that, thinks it ruins the fun. He only does it if he's aware there's a threat of being clocked in the face

For a whole ass 46 year old man he's way too keen to tkl his loved ones. Inconvenience him one bit and BAM. Will resort to it to win arguments

His main lee used to be his unnamed underdeveloped sibling, but nowadays it's Miłosz, his best friend and godfather

Despite everything he does not find it easy to say the word, especially not in Interslavic (his native language), so he'll tiptoe around it. Unless he's trying to be particularly awful to someone

I KNOW I've used this trope for a character like twice before but... he'll tell shitty jokes while getting someone because nobody will laugh at his semi-milleanial humour...they're all stereotype jokes too it's awful

He also uses tkls as a cheer up method

Lee

Refering to the last point, he does it because it works stupidly well on him

He's a runner. Pulls the unbeatable table move (hiding behind a table and circling it) if he's certain he can't outrun the ler

He's loud as is but has absolutely ZERO volume control the moment you lay a finger on him

It's unbelievably easy to fluster him?? Come on man get your shit together, you're 46, you've got a whole resistance movement to lead!

Related to the point above god FORBID you mention that, he'll die on the spot. Him, a whole ass grown man, a leader of the RESISTANCE MOVEMENT, brought down by a few pokes? Ridiculous!

Nicknames WILL kill him. I've been thinking so much about my friend saying Miłosz would call him Zvonek like?? He'd die on the spot (about time..)

Absolutely CANNOT handle what he dishes out, don't point it out though, he'll die on the spot (again)

A giggler, doesn't like his laugh though, thinks it sounds stupid

Fights like he's being MURDERED by the way, you've gotta pin him down or else he'll get away

He can easily push the ler off at all times, but he's afraid of hurting them, and as much as he doesn't wanna admit it he's having fun

^ another thing not to point out!

Aaand his chart.

[bellewintersroe]

Ron Speirs x reader

Part 4!! Part 3 is linked here. This whole series is just smut central, so yeah you already know to expect 18+ content below the cut 😈

Jenny finds herself deeper into Ron Speirs than what she originally believed. After two weeks more had passed, they’re sneaking around has become more frequent. But things are starting to change, the dynamic isn’t what Jenny originally thought. This was meant to be angst but it turned into smut, sorry- the next chapter will be angst I PROMISE.

May 30th, 1945:

The days in Austria as an occupational force were spent drinking, doing the occasional patrol, and your CO’s finding you odd jobs to prevent you from turning into a nut case. It all sounds very uninteresting, unless you had a tall, broodingly handsome commanding officer as a distraction from it all.

In the weeks I’d known Ron they were filled with the most dirtiest sex I’d ever had. He was rough, he had stamina like no other and he actually knew how to satisfy a woman. Our hook ups were still kept on the down low, taking place almost anywhere and anytime apart from either of our bedrooms. The level of intimacy was yet to upgrade into there, for a reason I wasn’t too sure about.

Most of the time we’d do our business and move onto wherever else we needed to be. The conversations had been sparse, and after he’d leave I found myself longing for more from him. I knew it wasn’t a good sign, and I should’ve checked myself out of the situation, but he was Ron Speirs- I was so deeply attracted to him that even if I tried I couldn’t stop myself lingering towards him. His kisses were always so deep and passionate, and he’d never without fail make me cum before he did himself. The one time he’d finished before I did he’d apologised and then progressed to perform the best oral sex on me I’d ever experienced. God, the highs with Speirs was unbeatable, what I’d do to have ten more minutes with him right n-

“Battalion HQ won’t accept them cos they’re all scrunched up. God knows what you’re doing in your free time for them to look like this.” A hand splattered down a pile of half messed up papers, my eyes widened at the sight knowing exactly why they were that way. Nixon stood above me with a playful expression on his face, he looked borderline smug at his joke. “Not what you’re thinkin’, Nix.” My eyes narrowed, pulling the papers back towards me. They were the reports from all the men’s physical examinations, the time when Ron screwed me on my desk. On the papers…

“They want you to write them out again, sorry I know, massively annoying, but you know how much of a buzzkill they all are up there.” A smile grew to my face at Lew’s general distaste for many things in life. Many could view him as a pessimist, but he just had a super good sense of humour. Well, most of the time. “It’s fine, Lew. I’ll get them done in the next hour.” My hands reached out to grab the messed up papers. They weren’t that bad, HQ just had to be annoying, didn’t they? Whilst many of the other nurses were out enjoying the beginning of an Austrian summer, Mary and I were cooped up inside, finishing papers, studying or, examining men. It was my job, I wasn’t complaining but I just suffered a mass case of FOMO.

The door swung open again, Captain Speirs, as expected, 1600 hours, sharp. My gaze averted from Lewis to my CO, lips tugging in the corners. “Afternoon, sir.” I greeted once Mary and Lewis had said their greetings. “Afternoon.” He nodded in my direction, eyes dropping down to the papers in front of me. With one quick glimpse he shot me a funny look before turning back to Nixon, with news about war in the Pacific. I wondered if he recognised the papers? Or if he’d even noticed at the time what we’d done, probably not/m- but Ron always recognised detail, that’s something I’d grown to learn about him. The memory of these papers was still raw on my mind, I hoped the same for him. After another 45 minutes or so, Lewis had left and there was just the three of us filling in our work in silence. I was growing increasingly frustrated, not because of the papers, but how much I couldn’t stop thinking about Speirs moving across his desk and over to mine and messing them up all over again. If we were sat next to one another I could’ve easily slipped my hand under the table and teased him through his uniform trousers. My legs were tensing and I found myself crossing them to rid some of the tension I needed. It only provided me with the smallest amount of friction, but at least it was something. Sighing, I continued writing out the last of my papers, seeing there was about four more to go. “I’ve finished, thank god!” Mary then cried out causing me to jump slightly as I looked back over to her in jealousy. “You better be done soon.” She pointed to me. “Thank you, sir.” With a firm salute, she exited the room all together, the door gently closing behind her. I watched as she made her way down the hallway and vanished, before reappearing walking past the slit in half open curtain, all giddy and happy to be done. With just the two of us there grew a new found tension. It’s as though we expected this to happen, being alone was rare, so I’d take anything I could get. My desk was open at the bottom, facing across from where Ron was. My eyes lingered over the focused man once before dropping my legs slightly forwards, nudging my feet together and dragging one foot over the other. My movements caused his writing to still as he glanced up, to which I looked away teasingly. I hadn’t done any paper work for the past 5 minutes, I was in my own world, when Ron finally said something. “Aren’t you supposed to be writing?” Aren't you supposed to be fucking me already.

“Mmmmh, yes sir but I can’t focus.” I stared directly at the ink I dripped back into the pot. “Well, you don’t look like you have much more to go. Keep writing.” He instructed as I pursed my lips, biting the inside of my cheek as I reluctantly went back to doing my work. I could feel his eyes on me, burning holes into my legs, my bare legs. I wasn’t wearing any stocking or tights, I opted out seeing as it was hot today. Maybe he was wondering what else I wasn’t wearing? Sighing again, I began scribbling down the numbers, copying them from the other sheets without fault. There was a movement across from me, Speirs had stood up now, lowering the blinds from behind him to close fully, before making his way over to the door and pulling the blind shut on there. I remained unfocused on my work, watching him when his back was turned to me, when he did make his way over I squeezed my legs together once again and dropped my head back down to conceal my smile. “Keep writing- there was a glare, that’s all.” He’d closed the blinds behind me, slowly. Painfully slowly. It’s like he was watching over what I was doing, and when he stalked up behind me I felt his hand slip onto the back of my chair. “You’ve got through that quick enough.” He pointed out as I dropped my pen. “I’m on my last two.” Gazing up to him, I could tell there was an ulterior motive behind his eyes. ‘There was a glare’, okay Ron. “Good, keep going with them.” He instructed as I awkwardly moved back up to reach for my pen. As I did, I felt his hand smooth over the inner of my shoulder, thumb brushing over my bare skin as my eyes closed and I inhaled, taking in the relief of his touch. I had my white nursing dress on, better fit for this weather than the wool of my blue uniform or the khaki ones. It was thin, floaty, I much preferred it, but it meant now Ron’s touch was something I was even more sensitive to.

As his hands glided back and fourth over my shoulders, he began to slip them down to undo the top buttons on my dress. My focus was out of the window now. “Why did you stop?” Ron’s movements fell flat, waiting for me to resume my work. Oh, so he wants to play that game. Slowly, I picked my pen back up again, dipping it in the ink and cautiously writing out the numbers and names. Shit- I couldn’t write when his hands were now unbuttoning more of my dress. One of his hands snuck down the shirt part of my dress, groping at my tits, squeezing and rolling his thumb over the softness of the exposed skin. My jaw clenched, hesitating to write the next number as he nudged the fabric of my lace bralet out of the way.

Now, he took his fingers, brushing it over the sensitivity of my nipple. This really got me aching for him, shivers ran down my spine as I exhaled out, my legs pushing together as I circled my hips by habit. Ron’s fingers nipped ever so gently over my nipple, before moving onto the next one. Oh god. In order to impress him in this game he had going on, I continued writing as hard as it was. The way his fingers were pinching and stroking over my nipples, grabbing handfuls like he couldn’t get enough, it drove me crazy- he drove me crazy. “Can you be good and finish these papers for me?” Leaning closer, he crouched down to my level, lips dangerously close to my ear. “Yeah.” I sighed out. “No. Yes who?” His words made me want to moan out loud there and then. “Yes, Captain Speirs.” He pressed a kiss as a rewards to my cheek, the writing becoming impossibly difficult when he started kissing at my neck. His fingers moved up to my mouth, indicating he wanted me to wet them as I sucked obediently, humming out a pathetic whine. “Take your panties off.” He muttered, again, I did as I was told and stripped them down, handing them over as he shoved them in his pocket. Oh my fucking god. His fingers were back in my mouth as I sucked obediently, other hand still groping my breast. “When you finish this I’ll give you what you need.” He muttered into my ear, holding my jaw firmly now. “Mmmh, sir-“ I attempted to protest but he left me cold, marching back over to his table. Fuck, what was he doing to me. After the next few minutes had passed, I found myself grinding into my chair, looking him with pitiful eyes as I poured out a moan. When I’d scribbled the rest of the numbers down and added it to the complete pile, I was half expecting him to come storming over. But he didn’t. Sighing, I took my hand down and began hitching up my dress. Speirs too had stopped writing as he watched me with a mesmerised look. The second my fingers touched my dripping core I let out a soft breath in relief. Slowly, I played with myself in front of him. I watched as one of his hands disappeared under the table, only turning me on further. Fuck he was touching himself- and I needed to see. Spreading my legs wider, I slipped in one finger with a moan, my head falling back. The scraping of his chair didn’t stop me, in fact it only made me want to carry on. Retrieving me, he literally picked me up and set me back down on his lap, behind his desk, ass on his bulging crotch as he propped up my legs, forcing my shoes off as I spread them, feet on either of his knees. “Show me what you were doing.” He instructed, one hand planted firmly over my tit, the other hooked around my waist as his chin rested on my shoulder. I let out a shy giggle as he kissed me jaw tenderly. “Show me, Jenny.” Oh fuck. The first time he’d used my name, and it sounded so good coming from his lips. His larger hand smoothed over mine, brushing it down my body and guiding me to touch myself once again. Slowly, my movements returned, aided with his hand as he watched. My hips ground back against his, ass digging further into his cock. “Grind like that back into me. Good girl.” He hummed as I let out a gentle moan, head dropping back against his as he nuzzled his face against me closer.

His hand continued pushing mine to rub over myself, before leaving me to my own work and instead gripping my hip and guiding me into him. As my pleasure increased, I could feel Ron pushing himself up into me, borderline dry humping me as I panted out, keeping my whines to a minimum seeing as we weren’t exactly in private.

“Sir, I’m gon-“

“Ron.” He corrected, strained as I felt a twinge in my heart. “What?” I whispered as he breathlessly shuddered out, “call me Ron.” The somewhat vulnerability of his tone made me cry out gently as the coil in my stomach became tighter and tighter. Just as I was about to release, Ron let out a shuddered groan, his body jittering as my eyes widened realising what had happened. Before I could process, I was tipping over the edge, gripping his hand tighter and tighter. a

“Ron.” I gasped out, voice strained until I felt my pleasure become overwhelming and I came crashing down into a leg shaking orgasm. I was a panting and jittering mess by the end of it. Fuck, it was good, he was so good, and I couldn’t quite believe it when I realised I’d made him finish inside of his pants.

I let out a hum, attempting to move but Ron tugged me back in, sighing against my shoulder as he nested his face close to mine. For a second I didn’t know how to act, he was physically cuddling me. My hand smoothed over his arm, relaxed and satisfied by the position. My feet had fallen from his his knees now, resting close together due to the sensitivity between my legs.

“Did you finish the papers?” Ron was the first to speak, thumb grazing over my hip as I hummed. “Yeah.” I whispered. “Sorry, I distracted you.” The softness of his words were making my stomach erupt with butterflies, my chest was on fire yet I felt so at ease in his arms. Panicking, I realised my feelings for Ron were a lot stronger than I initially realised. Fuckkkk.

“It’s okay… it was worth it.” I gently smiled hearing him let out a gentle laugh. Deciding to push myself off, his hand was cautious to gaze off me as he was looking at me with a funny kinda expression, hand covering the stain he’d made in his trousers.

“What?” I whispered, brows raising a little as I pulled my bra back over my tits and slowly redid the buttons on my top. “Nothin’.” Ron shook his head as I shot him another smile before turning back down to my dress. “Just your dress..” he muttered out, in a low muffled kinda tone as I smoothed my hands over it worriedly. “What’s wrong with it?”

“No, it looks good. That’s all.”

“Oh.” Oh. “Thanks.” I shyly smiled, brushing it back down to smooth out the creases. “Um… my underwear.” I awkwardly spoke. “Oh, right. Sorry.” He let out a small laugh, retrieving them from his pocket as I tugged them back on with a giggle.

“Oh, and Jen?” The nickname almost made me throw up from the mixture of emotions. “Yeah?” My voice was light and airy, shocked by his kind words.

“Im kinda gonna need your help with… this.”

“Oh, shit- I mean, sorry yeah.” My face was burning up knowing what he was talking about. The stain on his pants wasn’t easy concealable, I’d had to retrieve him a new pair of trousers from the room he bunked in. He got one of the nicest rooms, of course, but it was astonishing, fit for the needs of a king. I fell asleep that night with more than enough thoughts whirling around in my mind. The nickname he had for me, calling me by my name- asking me to call him his name. It all felt so very intimate and vulnerable. Whilst the sex remained outright dirty, there was a softer edge to Ronald Speirs that I thought I might be becoming to like a little too much…

[profoundbondfanfic]

Third day of sharing our favorite aro/ace/demi fics!

Part 5

Triquetra by Ltleflrt [Explicit, 46K, Demi!Cas]

In a world where magic is common, there is an institution known simply as The University. It has the best teachers, the best library, and the best location no knows where. But that's what the portals are for, anyway. Teacher Jimmy Novak, and Head Archivist Castiel Novak, have a unique relationship that is generally tolerated by staff and students, minus a cruel word of gossip or two. Otherwise, life is easy, work is fulfilling, and their world is quiet. Only the students change, and that's fine. Until Dean Winchester joins the faculty and everything else changes.

Still Falling For You by Casloveshisfreckles [Mature, 35K, Demi!Dean]

When Dean and Cas find themselves sitting across from one another in their crowded college library, awkward silence and stolen glances follow. Eventually, strangers become friends who become best friends. But what happens when the years pass and the miles between you grow, yet so does your (not-at-all-platonic) love for your best friend? Are you doomed to pine forever, stuck in an endless heartache? Or do you risk it all for a chance at something more? Because even after everything… you’re still falling for him.

The Truth (And Dry Kisses and Unbeating Hearts) by broken_ankle [Teen, 15,7K, Aro!Dean]

Cas is dead. Dean doesn't take it well. Cas is back. Dean isn't taking it well, but at least he's trying. Cas offers a relationship and, well, of course Dean takes it.

Wants and Needs by Castielslostwings [Mature, 6,4K, Aro&Demi!Dean, Ace!Cas]

From a prompt in the Destiel Port FB Group! "Asexual Incubus!Cas and Demisexual Vamp!Dean" Asexual!Incubus!Cas who has to have sex to feed to stay alive and has always resented it, until he meets Demi!vampire!Dean and discovers that being fed on… actually turns him on, and makes feeding not feel miserable for the first time ever. Imagine Ace!incubus!Cas starving for a long time because he can't stomach the thought of having sex, and then here comes Demi!vamp!Dean feeding on Cas, giving him gratification he thought can only be gained from having sex. And, you know, they live happily ever after.

Partnered by K_K_TiBal [Teen, 28K, Aro!Dean, Demi!Cas]

Dean didn't think that his life as a detective could get much worse after Castiel was promoted to lieutenant. Castiel was a stickler for the rules, had no sense of humour, and never seemed to give Dean a break, even though they used to be partners. But then, despite all of their questionable history, the two are asked to go undercover on a case in the wealthy suburbs of California. . . as a married couple.

Lover by casbean [Explicit, 27K, Ace!Cas]

Dean knows that Cas doesn't like him. They're not even friends, not really. But Dean can't help it, he wants to be around Cas, he wants to be his friends, he wants… more. But he has to respect that Cas is just not interested. It's not until Cas gets into the first heat of his life in front of him that Dean is faced with the fact that maybe, just maybe, Cas doesn't hate him at all.

[space-ninja-fashion-show]

Komi is one of those kindsa things that the good ole murder cult Shadow had belonged to as a human considered to be a metaphor for warrior values or an exercise in strategy and patience or whatever. No one was really sure if whoever had once decided that genuinely believed it or if they just wanted a really good excuse to play board games

Shadow doesn't care about the grand purpose of it. He just likes playing Komi

He's really good at it

Like, way too good. He couldn't remember why he enjoys it once he got turned into a proto-warframe, but he has been playing it for literal millenia since the Old War had settled. Against early, fleeting allies, against unwitting victims who didn't recognise him by sight, against himself, eventually against Hunhow too. He's seen and learned every trick, learned entire games by heart, can guess moves multiples in advance

This also means that he fuckin sucks to play with, bc he's damn near unbeatable and doesn't believe in going easy on anyone

The only one aside from Hunhow who ever plays with him is Darius and that's bc Darius is fuckin gay and is humouring him. And even to him it gets boring after a couple rounds

[someonelookingpraediti]

Currently (re-)Reading...

Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer

It took me just under a month to re-read this series, which is a whole lot longer than it would have taken me as a child! But I've got other demands on my time now.

I first read the first couple of books not long after they came out - I was pretty much the same age as Artemis when I started. But there was a year or two between each book, so I aged a lot faster than he did! The last book came out when I was 21, and I think Artemis was still meant to be 15 at that point. But that wasn't the main reason I didn't like the last books as much.

I absolutely adored these when I was a teenager. At 11 years old, Artemis Fowl was one of my first literary crushes, and the books kept me gripped right through my teenage years. I re-read the first three dozens of times while waiting for The Opal Deception, and then read that one almost as often while waiting for book 5.

But I only read the last three once each, as they were released, and I'd forgotten a lot of the details - it's been over ten years since the last book came out!

I know a lot of people say that Book 5, The Lost Colony, is where the series started to derail a little, but reading it again, I think that's just because it's the point at which Artemis grows up a little, and starts acting more as a teenager than a child. I actually really liked books 5 and 6. The last two books, however....

For me, one of the reasons these books were so captivating as a child was because they were ultimate form of "low fantasy". Everything that happened in them was (to a child, at least) totally feasible. It was set in the real world, and the whole idea was that Fairies were hidden. Nothing that Artemis or the LEP did ever affected the rest of the world at large. Secrecy was always maintained, so it was easy to believe that the stories were happening in our world.

The last two books throw that out the window. People, and fairies, start dying in their thousands. The Lower Elements are exposed, and both worlds suffer a near-apocalyptic event, changing the world irrevocably. This is no longer a believable fiction. It shattered the illusion. And for some reason, the writing style in these last two is completely different. What used to be a casual, childlike humour, all of a sudden feels forced, like he's forgotten how to write these books and is trying to emulate a style that isn't his.

I'd really like to read the second series of "Fowl" books - the ones about the twins - just to see what it's like. But it's going to be set in that odd post-catastrophic world that the first series ended on, and I'm not sure I can deal with that.

It's been such a mixed bag, re-reading these books, because the first few are unbeatable. This starts out as one of the best kids' series I've ever read. I have such fond memories of discovering these as a child, and they're just as good now. And then the last two, especially that ending, are so bad that they completely ruin the series.

[ritikasreviews]

Why Bridget Jones diary is so damn relatable

Now I'm not the biggest fan of novel turned Hollywood film as it just doesn't do the books justice. HOWEVER, I believe Bridget Jones Diary was destined for cinema!

Bridget Jones as a character doesn't get any more relatable. She doesn't look like your typical protagonist that has just walked off of a Victoria Secret fashion show. She acknowledges her imperfections, she is worried about her weight, her job, her love life…like the rest of us!

Conventional to most 2000's rom coms, Jones locks eyes with the dreamiest man she has ever seen, Mark Darcy. What gravitates me to this film is Jones' inability to keep her inner thoughts to herself, she will say what everyone else is thinking. As the audience you will want for her to get with Darcy.

However, before she can enter a relationship with Darcy, she manages to find herself entangled with her colleague, (low key freaky) womaniser Daniel Cleaver. I'm not sure how they were able to make Hugh Grant so insufferable but they managed it.

Bridget's diary is probably a reflection of many of our New year's resolution lists stored somewhere in the notes app. She wants to be a better version of herself, lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking, and find her Mr Right. Let's be honest, how many of us decided to join a gym at the start of the year and never used the membership?

The struggles and realness displayed with a light hearted vulgar humour, is the essence of Bridget Jones. She is a character who is uniquely different to traditional romance protagonists. This is why I believe this film sequence has done so well. Plus, I may be bias but English humour is unbeatable.

I highly recommend giving it a watch, just in time for the third film coming out next Valentine's day!

[innerdreamercollective]

FB Audio Spotlight RELUCTANTLY ROGUE

🎧Listeners are loving 🎧

📚RELUCTANTLY ROGUE by Erin Nicolle

🎤Duet narration by Jason Clarke & Melissa Moran

Download this bodyguard, he falls first, secret relationship romance now:

▶️ https://www.audible.com/pd/B0DD8P9JR2

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐“Jason Clarke and Melissa Morgan did a wonderful job bringing this book to life. They were spot on with the humour and the passion and I was captivated by their every word.” - Jackie, Bookbub

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐“This was my first Melissa Moran audio, and I loved it! She and Jason Clarke was absolutely to die for with all of the accents and quirks of each character. I loved this audio SO much!” - Kirstie, Bookbub

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐“Jason and Melissa deliver an amazing duet-style narration that truly brings the story to life. Jason's deep, sexy voice never disappoints—it's captivating every time. His brief appearance as Torin, complete with an irresistible Irish accent, left me wanting more! Melissa does a fantastic job complementing him, matching his energy and style perfectly. Their chemistry is palpable, making every scene engaging. Jason can do no wrong in my book, and together, they’re an unbeatable duo!” - Elyvia, Goodreads

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐“Melissa was a new-to-me narrator, and I thought she was brilliant! She perfectly captured Linnea’s diplomatic and regal persona with great pacing and inflection. I loved Jason’s broody and protective portrayal of Jonah—he absolutely crushed the accent work. Breathy Jason is perfection; I can never get enough! Very much recommend this audio!” - Mandi, Goodreads

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“​​Nicole delivers a captivating storyline with a dilemma that only she can find a way to wiggle out of to a HEA all while bringing the best balance of sweet, heat and laughs.  I adore this story, and I can't wait to read / listen to more in this series.” - Jennifer, Bookbub

@ErinNicholasBooks @melissa.moran.14224 @homecookedbookspromos

#ErinNicholas #ErinNicolle #RoyalsGoneRogue

[boomerbroadcaster]

Talking To Strangers Is Good For Your Health

Every Saturday I look forward to reading Vinay Menon’s Opinion column in the Toronto Star. He’s replaced the late and unbeatable Gary Lautens as one of my favourite light-hearted newspaper-reading pleasures with his gentle humour and wry observations on everyday life. Reading last week’s “Chatting up strangers is good for our health” column reminded me of a blog I posted nearly ten years ago that…

[zingaplanet]

Scotland has a law that protects trans people, consistent quality of godly single malt whisky in every pub, a castle obsession, a presumably cute monster residing in one of their lakes, an unbeatable sense of humour and fucking great tap water.

Why am I not living there again??

[marypicken]

The One That Got Away (DI Heather Filson #1) by J.D. Kirk   @JDKirkBooks  @mucklemedia

J.D.Kirk understands well that the combining fast-paced, high intensity drama with down to earth humour and unforgettable characters is a pretty unbeatable formula.

Source: Review copyPublication: 25 May 2023 from Zertex CrimePP: 380ISBN-13: ‎ 978-1912767731 My thanks to Muckle Media and Zertex Crime for an advance copy for review What if your worst enemy was your only hope? When a fifteen-year-old girl fails to make it home after school, DI Heather Filson believes she’s dealing with just another teenage runaway. The girl’s grandfather, a notorious…

[soul-wanderer]

Jack and Miller where my favorite duo, and now it's Vic and Travis, there a comedic act on the road. I think I may like Travis most of all, his story lines always get my attention even if their bad, even if he's in the wrong. I was laughing the whole time he tripping up with his boyfriend

Duo wise, Travis and Vic are pretty much unbeatable! There's always something - whether it's humour or just heartfelt supportive friendship moments and it's a breath of fresh air, no matter how murky things get on this show!

And yeah, Travis is just an all around solid character - his storylines do have their lows, but he is charming enough to make it worthwhile 🙌🏻