#the unbearable burden of being a Starfleet captain

[fiadorable]

It’s a shame that the actual Kiley 279 mission is probably classified into oblivion because Pike’s decision to say screw general order one is not unlike Janeway’s decision to destroy the caretaker’s array. I think reading Pike’s struggles with Discovery’s fate and the consequences of their actions might have been a comfort to her.

[drivinxoverxcliffsides]

Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down

Dear Captain James Tiberius Kirk,

We regret to inform you that Carol Markus has passed away. Upon the reading of her will it has been discovered that you are the Father of the young minor Timothy Markus. Included are the enterprises rerouting and timeline so you can return to earth to address this situation. Temporary care has been provided for the minor but haste is required. The situation albeit surprising has been double checked for validity. Your presence is requested to determine the fate and care of the minor due to no other suitable guardians stepping forward. It should be noted you were a last resort in the late Carol Markus’ will so your decisions have as specified a thirty day contestable period before anything can be finalized. Why starfleet has become involved to provide you with the sufficient time to do what is necessary. 

Starfleet command

James has reread the letter, memo.. order at least a dozen times in the last ten minutes. All he has been able to manage in way of response is just numb. He’d know Carol had requested to leave starfleet and to assist via a quiet desk job on earth after all that happened with Khan, but Kirk could never have guessed this was why. He’d never thought twice over her leaving because thats what lots of women do when they are tired of him or he tires of them. It was normal. Now, now he wishes it wasn’t.

He would have chased after her, found answers he would never have now. Carol was gone. 

Jim slams his fist on the table as anger and grief take him. How could she, how could any of the other people she requested for Timothy just leave him in the lurch like this. Timothy Markus was alone and had been alone well his mother died in a hospital. No one knowing to call him because Carol was a stubborn woman and had made up her mind. He was the last of the last resorts and isn’t it just disgusting he was getting called. No one stepped up for this poor kid when he needed them too. James wouldn’t let that continue.

He slams his fist against the desk again before burying his face into his hands pointer fingers and thumbs banishing his tears as the pushed out to his temples. He rubbed small circles there to relieve the gnawing headache because he couldn’t keep reading the letter. He had things to do and little boy to meet. He inhales a deep and long sigh before pushing the comms button, “Commander Spock,” his voice cracks because how he wanted to talk to his commander in private. Without the hats of their stations firmly in place.

He clears his throat forcing himself to wear the burden his rank requires of him, “I’ve received a new route for the enterprise please adjust our course.” He quickly forwards the transmission to Spock and then adds, “and join me in my quarters so I can brief you on the specifics.” He could have just sent the route adjustments but Kirk needed Spock to know. Needed his… his SO to pick up the slack he would inevitably leave in his wake right now. Hopefully Spock would hurry to his side.

Jim takes his finger off tech comms button and looks round his officer quarters. They felt small despite being the biggest quarters on the enterprise. He felt like the walls were closing in on him because he was a father. Not just a father though, he was a jackass father who was never there. For all the kid knew James had abandoned him. Thats when the unbearable panic sets in because he couldn’t be a father, how could he possibly do this?

@vulcanxmind