#the uk finally getting 20 minutes of summer?????? perhaps.

[satans-knitwear]

everything is flowers 🌼🌹

Treat me ~ Tip me ~ More of me

[swiftgronmasterpost]

GRYLES!!!

Rebuilding the Gryles Timeline expertly crafted here because I’m always afraid of broken links and people going private and losing data.

Not only is there a ton of great evidence that these guys were dating such as Harry leaving Nick’s place in the morning wearing the same clothes as he’d worn the night before, I’ve also got a friend who works in the UK music industry and she did tell me these guys did date.  Nick is 100% out as gay so it really does all add up.

Gryles very obviously takes place during Haylor, debunking Harry as the 1989 muse, and if it’s not Harry you do have to wonder... who with green eyes and an obsession with Alice and Wonderland was heavily featured in Taylor’s life and then disappeared before 1989 - a breakup album about someone with green eyes who seems to relate to Alice in Wonderland drops?

You get it.

Anyway here’s Gryles:

This is a little game I like to call "let's talk about Nick/Harry dates and how they line up with Harry leaving and entering the country".

06. February 5th 2012 - Harry and Nick go to a Super Bowl party together.

One Direction in Sweden February 12th - 14th. (Came home by train on the 14th.)

07. February 14, 2012 - VALENTINE'S DAY!

08. February 18, 2012 - Stella McCartney Fashion show with Nick's mom.

09. February 21, 2012 - Brit Awards!

10. February 22, 2012 - They attend a party together. (Nick might have been DJing?)

11. February 23, 2012 - Harry spotted leaving Nick Grimshaw's flat in the same outfit he was wearing the night before.

The morning of February 23rd One Direction flies to the US for their tour and doesn't return to the UK until April 24th, 2012.

This trip is supposedly where Haylor 1.0 happens.  Harry supposedly meets Taylor at the KCA’s on March 31 and they fall for one another.  Taylor supposedly goes to NYC to be with Harry (even though she spends the whole time with Dianna) during the first week of April.  Then they supposedly enter into a long distance relationship that is broken up because Harry was seen out with another girl.

All the while the last thing Harry does before he leaves the UK is spend the night with Nick and then the first thing he does is goes back to him.

Yeah, I’m not buying Haylor 1.0 it seems pretty clear to me that Taylor wanted to pin I Knew You Were Trouble on Harry as a big pop anthem to support her transition to pop.  I think it’s even possible they faked Harry being spotted out with that girl or perhaps he and Nick had some kind of agreement.  I’m not saying Gryles was always exclusive (they may have been), but regardless I don’t see Red era Taylor being cool enough to share her boyfriend with a man.

12. April 25, 2012 - Nick and Harry out together the morning after he returned.

Harry also calls into Nick's radio show on the 25th and confirms that the first thing he did upon returning on the 24th was meet up with Nick and Matt Fincham for drinks so one can theorize he probably crashed w/ Nick that night.

Harry goes to LA by himself on May 1st and returns to the UK on the 5th.

May 5th, 2012 - Harry out with Annie Mac and Nick. (Thanks to my anon for clueing me into this little gem of information.)

13. May 7th, 2012 - Harry and Nick out with friends

One Direction goes to Sweden from May 10th to May 16th.

14. May 17, 2012 - The Sun reports Harry driving Nick to work.

Also out shopping together

15. May 19, 2012 - Nick posts a picture to his instragram from the Kanye West/Jay Z show at the O2.

Who cares right? So he went to see a show. But then.

Hey guess what happened the very next day? One Direction flew to Boston on May 20th, 2012 to start their summer tour in the U.S. They're gone from the 20th to July 3rd.

16. July 5, 2012 - Nick and Harry attend the launch of Tinie Tempah's shoes line.

There's some downtime and vacation time here where Harry disappears for a week while Louis is France w/ Eleanor, Niall goes to Spain, Liam and Danielle are on vacation, etc and then One Direction goes back to work July 11th recording and doing photo shoots.

17. July 19, 2012 - Harry goes out with Nick and Aimee and tweets this.

18. August 10, 2012 - Harry attends Nick's 28th birthday party at La Bodega Negra.

Pregaming before the party!

Outside La Bodega Negra

19. August 11, 2012 - Primrose Hill picnic

20. August 20, 2012 - One Direction visit Nick at BBCR1 to announce their headlining of the BBC Radio 1 Teen Choice Awards.

21. August 25, 2012 -

Nick and Harry go to lunch. (Would also like to point out that they are switching places and that Harry is going to the driver's side of Nick's car :333)

and then to Reading Festival

then Nick accompanies Harry to Liam's party at Funky Buddha

and then they leave together and go see Rita Ora at G.A.Y.

22. August 26, 2012 - The morning after, Nick tweets a shot of his hangover breakfast from Harry's Range Rover (Nick owns a Mercedes).

then a lunch date with several people

They spend this entire day together and this is the day the pics of them in the grocery store  are taken where Nick buys Harry a banana, etc

and then Harry drops Nick off for his nighttime show and picks him up again to take him to/stay with him while Nick DJs at Wonderland nightclub.

(Although, lbr. Given what we learn from Nick's final nighttime show about how often Harry hung around the studio, he probably never left.)

Wonderland! (the only time that fucking song has any bearing on Harry and he’s off being a MLM king)

23. August 28, 2012 - Leaving Nick's flat

spotted in the studio w/ Nick at BBCR1

24. August 30, 2012 - Harry films the Breakfast Show advert for Nick's #Team Grimmy commercial and then they go to Mahiki Club that night.

25. August 31, 2012 - Harry goes with Nick to his DJ gig at Paradise

and then to karaoke afterward

The lo and behold One Direction flies to Florida the very next day to film their Pepsi commercial. They're gone until September 11th.

on September 6, 2012 Taylor has Sushi with Ed and Harry in LA supposedly signaling the start of Haylor 2.0 as if Harry is not fully boyfriends with Nick.

26. September 12, 2012 - Nick's final nighttime show. (this was a gif of them being cute and playing around but I was too lazy to bring it over, you get it they’re touchy, flirty, and playful):

Nick and Aimee go on vacation together from the 14th to the 18th.

27. September 18, 2012 - This dude says he spotted Harry Styles waiting in arrivals at the airport while waiting for his sister's flight to arrive insinuating perhaps Harry was traveling with Nick and Aimee:

28. September 20, 2012 - iTunes Festival where One Direction was interviewed by Nick and Annie Mac

29. Harry calls into Nick's first Breakfast Show on September 25, 2012. Then they meet up after to see Perks of Being a Wallflower together. I can't find the tweets from the ladies who saw them there, but Nick and Emma Watson confirm later that Harry was indeed there.

30. September 29, 2012 - Spotted at Waitrose together and then the following morning Nick regales his listeners with the tale of a Spinach pie he made for a ~friend~.

31. October 5th (or 6th?), 2012 - Preparation for Ladz FM

But also on October 5th, Taylor is on Nick’s show:

32. October 6, 2012 - Ladz FM

Supposedly on this show Nick gives Harry hell for Taylor, the Haylor timeline I like puts it this way:

“One Direction and Harry make an appearance on Nick’s show the following day, and they talk about Taylor on-air for 4 minutes straight. Nick teases Harry by saying “Ol’ Swiftyyyy” over and over again when she is brought up in the conversation.” Yup that’s right, Nick was giving his own boyfriend shit about his fake girlfriend 😭😭😭 this is why I fuck w Nick’s energy.

then they went for lunch in notting hill (no Taylor? why not Harry aren’t you so happy to be back with her and in love w her?)

33. October 7, 2012 - BBC Teen Choice Awards

One Direction doing promotion for the new album.

Paris - October 11, 2012

Ireland - October 12, 2012

Manchester - October 16, 2012

Leeds - October 17, 2012

34. October 19, 2012 - Lunch in London

October 31 - One Direction in Spain

Early November One Direction goes to the US for Ellen, X Factor USA, and The Today Show. After The Today Show Harry flies to LA while the rest of One Direction goes back to London. Harry writes a song with the lead singer of Snow Patrol and rumors start flying about him hooking up with Taylor Swift.

Harry arrives back in London on November 16, 2012.

35. November 16, 2012 - Children in Need benefit concert

November 30th One Direction goes back to the U.S. for one off shows and MSG show. Haylor happens.

Harry returns to London on December 8th via Taylor's private jet and plays the Jingle Ball with the rest of One Direction. Harry and Taylor tour the UK together until December 15th when Taylor leaves for France.  Meanwhile Dianna heads out on a mystery 14 hour long flight on December 14th.

36. December 16, 2012 - Roast Dinner!

One Direction returns to the U.S. for the X Factor USA finale. Harry stays in the U.S. and goes on a ski vacation with Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, and Selena Gomez.

He returns to the UK on December 24th.

37. December 25, 2012 - Late night Christmas leftovers. (Yes they’re spending Christmas together, that’s boyfriend behavior!)

Harry and Nick both leave London on the 29th (Nick for Puerto Rico and Harry for NYC) Harry spends New Years with Taylor and Nick spends New Years with Pixie, Aimee, and the rest of the hipster crew. Harry and Taylor then fly to Gorda British Virgin Islands where they are supposed to vacation until the 7th. Taylor leaves on the 4th and Harry goes to Necker Island alone. Tabloids say Harry and Taylor have broken up.

And that’s it for Haylor!

Harry arrives back in the UK on January 8th

38. January 8, 2013 - Sushi lunch date! (tweet confirming nick was also there.)

and harry with the girl who tweeted it.

39. January 10, 2013 - Tinie Tempah's GQ dinner.

The party was for people on the British GQ best dressed list (Nick was on it. Harry was not.)

Jessie J puts a picture of the table cards from her table on instagram. Harry doesn't have one which, you know. I'll just be here imagining him as Nick's + 1.

One Direction fly to Ghana on the 12th or 13th and return on the 15th. On the 16th Harry calls into Grimmy’s show to talk about how Fincham DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A MEMBER OF ONE DIRECTION. Finchy asks Harry when he’s back and Harry says “in a couple of days”. (Small side note here that I don’t think Finchy and Harry are at the level of friends where they keep track of one another’s schedules so the only way Finchy could have known that Harry was heading back out of town to Japan that very day is if Nick told him.)

One Direction in Japan from January 16th to the 20th.

I'm not going to count this as a time they were together because I have no hard evidence, but the night of January 20th Harry was spotted in a grocery store buying wine and Annie Mac mentions on her show that Nick ditched coming over for dinner that evening to have a friend round to his house instead. We assume it was Harry, but w/o actual proof I don't want to say it concretely.

40. January 21, 2013 - Baking for Radio 1! (Tweet confirming the friend was Harry.)

Nick tells this story the morning of the 22nd about how he forgot he had to bake, so he got up from bed, went to the store for supplies, and forgot eggs. So, he texted his friend who was coming over to bring eggs and then Nick baked while his friend yelled at him to add more butter.

41. January 22, 2013 - Watching Great British Bake Off

Do what you will with this one. Obviously there is not definite way to tell if this is Harry or not, but given the evidence of the amount of time they spend together that has been laid forth thus far, I feel comfortable saying those are indeed Harry's legs.

42. January 31, 2013 - Out for Harry's birthday at La Bodega Negra (the same place they celebrated Nick's birthday.)

Nick also went to Groucho Club afterward with Harry and mentioned on his show this morning that he hadn't slept at all. (He was still wearing the same outfit.)

43. February 1, 2013 - Aimee tweets about being in the car with Nick en route to play Laser Quest. (Can't imagine who they might be playing with.)

Nick tweeted this :)

Never

Getting

Over

This

February 19, 2013 - PreBrit Awards Dinner Hosted by Nick!

THEIR SMILEY LITTLE FACES. :3

Legit SHARING A TAXI ON THE WAY HOME

2/20/13 - At the Brit Awards together!

Leaving an after party!

taking a cab to Nick's house so Nick can change for work

hands hands hands

At Nick's flat

 2/21/13 - On The Breakfast show the morning after the Brits!

Harry on The Breakfast Show!

2/23/2013 - Nick attends One Direction's first show at the O2 in London

THE DROUGHT IS OVER!!!

8/21/2013 - Nick interviews Harry, Zayn, and Liam for TBS

Then Nick and Harry hook up later for dinner.

September 12, 2013

Harry gets off the plane from LAX, gets on the tube and meets Nick at an Elton John concert

Harry and Nick's dad at the concert, posted to Nick's instagram.

September 13, 2013

This person says they saw nick and Harry at Apartment 58 (members only club) together

https://twitter.com/LightbownL/status/378610145271771136

But, Sadie Frost also posted a picture of her and Nick getting ready to go out for LFW with no mention of Harry, so the tweet could be false facts.

But then! September 14, 2013

Sadie posts this picture of Nick sleeping on her sofa

Followed by this picture of Harry posing with her daughter

And then Nick and Harry went to Henry Hollands show at LFW together

Then to a pub with Gemma, Kelly Osborn and others

Then to dinner with James Corden and his wife

September 15, 2013

September 17, 2013 - Fashion Show East in London

November 9, 2013 - Breakfast with Anne and Robin at the Wolseley.

So Anne tweeted this in the morning. You can see the Wolseley logo at the top of the plate.

Then this girl got a pic with Harry at the Wolseley during his breakfast with Anne and Robin.

and she confirmed that Nick was eating with them https://twitter.com/alexandra_imper/status/400204985222193152

Then off to Selfridges to shop!

At Alexa Chung's birthday party!

November 10, 2013 - Ladz instagram and Aimee Phillips birthday party!

LADZ VIDEO!

November 30, 2013

Harry playing with Puppy at Nick's house.

Poppy Delevingne's hen party!

Leaving Groucho club.

December 1, 2013

Primrose Hill lighting ceremony!

Nick with Daisy Lowe and his dad!

Then this girl met Nick

https://twitter.com/rpcheald/status/407224559687852032/photo/1

and saw Harry

https://twitter.com/rpcheald/status/407209332858552320

Class of '92 movie premiere

Nick and his dad on the red carpet

Harry meeting Beckham!

December 4, 2013 - London Fashion Awards

February 17, 2014 - Taking a random taxi ride?????

and leaving Nick's flat

March 29, 2014

Sleepover at Harry's house!

Nick posted this on instagram

http://instagram.com/p/mHpTBdPJyt/

At the time we weren't sure it was Harry's drive but...

https://twitter.com/cuppanarryx/status/481310537817399296/photo/1

Hiya, doggie.

Also Nick's tweet from the morning after just because.

https://twitter.com/grimmers/status/449814322399940609

May 24, 2014 - Radio 1's Big Weekend

May 28, 2014 - Barry's BC London

And link to post about the other tweets x

June 8, 2014

Nick attends One Directions show at Wembley Stadium.

June 12, 2014

Harry at Nick driving around London in a Ferrari.

and another tweet about the Ferarri sighting.

https://twitter.com/ItsJustMikey/status/477133631602065408

Then later that evening Harry went to Nick's for his World Cup barbecue and fans took pics with Harry outside Nick's house.

[aelaer]

The Blood in My Veins: Pt 4

Heyyyy I'm back. Now that one of my big fic projects is done/being rolled out I can concentrate on getting this finished (as well as other prompts). Here are the earlier parts if you can't remember what happened in this long-running prompt fic, since my last update was like, the summer.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Prompt (via @ironstrangeprompts that I can’t tag for whatever reason qq): Kidnapped to play doctor for a still unseen other prisoner; Stephen realizes there is only one person on the planet who would have palladium in their blood.

The Warnings: Okay guys, I want to cover all bases for this part and all parts henceforth. The bad guy I've written here really really sucks. He's a complete asshole. Part of his assholeness can include behaviors such as racism, sexism, homophobic remarks, religious bigotry, and overall just being a terrible human being. This terrible human being is not a typical representative of his nation/culture and is very thankfully fictional. There's plenty of Canon-Typical Violence around, too. All of the above are not be in this specific part but could be in future parts (I'm writing this as I go so I truly don't know, I just know he’s a dickwad). I didn't know this section was gonna happen until I finished Part 2, for instance, otherwise I'd have put a note at the beginning. I'd consider the fic a heavy teen fic, if you're looking for a rating, so it shouldn't get to graphical violence beyond what you'd see in high teen rated content. Also, there's going to be Medical Procedures in the future, though more clinical rather than graphic. Hopefully that covers everything, please ask me anything if you have a question.

I always put these longer writings on tumblr into "read more" cuts, but the mobile app does not always work correctly if you're looking at the original post from my tumblr, so I apologise for the length if you're on the app and viewing the original and said cut is not working. Still unbetaed, all errors are mine.

--------------------------

Part Four: Seeing Red Again

Another three days passed with little change in Stephen’s schedule. He went for his sleep shift at 12:30 a.m. New York time, and was woken up by one of the others between 5:20 to 5:30 a.m. It wasn't enough time for even two full complete sleep cycles, but everyone there—perhaps with exception to Steffen Baar, who was a chemist—had gone through grueling schedules during medical school and residency. So they were, in some ways, used to it.

After waking up, he had fifteen minutes to shower, shave, and change into the clothing about his size, provided for by his captors. From there, he then got to work. His sleep shift ended about three hours before dinner came—about 8:30 a.m. New York time—and a small snack arrived at what he assumed was this place's midnight, but was 2 p.m. according to his watch. Breakfast came twelve hours after dinner, at 8:30 p.m. in New York, and he went to bed again half an hour after midnight. Apparently while he slept, another snack break came for those awake.

The one small blessing in all of this was that the people holding them realized the power of caffeine and provided black tea and coffee every time they brought them food. He didn't think there were any cameras in the showers or toilets, either, which was—hopefully true. There was nothing obvious and, truth be told, he didn't really want to look much further for evidence.

Throughout his waking day, Stephen largely helped prep samples for blood analysis. He tried to strategize with Summer about how to best utilize their resources, should a surgery be required, but they had little to go on. They had yet to receive better X-rays of their patient—of Tony Stark, which still baffled Stephen—so much of their planning was about logistics.

"Doctors in the United States are required to complete a surgical rotation in their third year of med school," Stephen said, "so Jada will know basic surgical procedures. Do you need to do the same in the UK?"

"Yes," Summer answered. "All doctors go through the two-year Foundation Programme which always includes training in general surgery. So Dr Mahajan will be able to assist us as well."

"They can serve as our nurses and techs," Stephen muttered. "But what about Dr Baar?"

Summer pursed her lips together. "No medical training—but I would rather have him on hand than not. If we said we can't use him…"

Stephen grimaced and nodded. "Point. He can certainly hold a retractor." He blew out a breath. "We'll need a heart-lung machine. Those aren't easy to come by."

"None of this machinery is," she pointed out, jutting her chin to the advanced machinery scattered around the room. "I don't think that will be an issue for us. Whoever these people are, they have resources."

He pursed his lips together. "We also need an anesthesiologist."

She paused at that and sighed. "Yes. Yes, we need one of those. Unfortunately, I think we're going to be working with someone on their team if the surgery happens."

Stephen made a face. "What makes you think that?"

"When they first showed me the X-rays, I told them I would need another surgeon for the spinal area—you—and an anesthesiologist. They only spoke about finding me a surgeon, so they must have their own medical team that includes one."

He sighed. "Of course they do. He better be competent."

Summer shrugged. "Not much we can do about it. And there's not much more we can plan on this hypothetical surgery until I have better X-rays."

And so that ended that discussion and, three days later, there were no changes on that end. No new X-rays had come in, so both he and the other surgeon were stuck helping prepare samples and input data. And Stephen hadn't been so bored in years.

One wouldn't think that being captive would be boring, especially if one was doing medical work during that time. But when said medical work was repetitive lab work he hadn't done since med school? And doing it for about fifteen hours a day for three days straight with no music, no reading, no nothing to help bring some distraction or variety to his work? It was absolutely mind-numbing. A small part of him wasn't entirely sure if he could survive like this for—how long did Jada said Stark had to live without a cure or intervention? Two months? He couldn't do this for two months. He was going out of his mind after three days.

It was about halfway through his shift on the fourth day that he regretted ever thinking that he was bored.

He was typing up results from various tests performed by Jada when the door to the room was suddenly slammed open. Startled, Stephen immediately turned towards the sound, only to see five men enter, all of them with guns pointed to the rest of the room. Beside him, Jada immediately threw her hands on top of her head, and he quickly followed suit.

"Come quietly! Do not fight!" said one of the men. Stephen couldn't even begin to guess his accent; maybe it was Eastern European? Russian? Former Soviet bloc in Asia? Somewhere in that rather wide region of the world, which wasn't particularly helpful information considering there were some twenty to thirty countries there.

Summer was the doctor currently asleep, though looking over his shoulder, Stephen saw that she had woken up to the sound and was pushing herself up. But he couldn't look at her or the other doctors long as he was grabbed by one of the men and forced to walk. The gun the man carried quickly negated any ideas of retaliation.

They were led down a hall; he could see Steffen, Meera, and Jada in front of him, all being led in the same rough manner he was going through. The walk itself wasn't very long, perhaps a minute, but to Stephen it felt like every second was dragging. Despite his best efforts, his heart was starting to race at this new development.

The man with Steffen finally stopped in front of a door and unlocked it, then shoved the chemist inside. Within seconds, Stephen was at the door and being pushed forward himself. He took a quick look around, as much as he could without moving much: a large room with concrete walls and no windows, just like where he and the other doctors were being kept. Cot in the corner. Table with a computer and covered in bits of wires and electronics that he couldn't begin to label. Two other men armed with enormous guns—some sort of automatic rifles—and then one man who was crossing his arms and staring at him and his fellow doctors with a look that immediately put Stephen on edge. This man, this man radiated the air of a person in charge.

And then there was him. The famous Tony Stark, or Iron Man as he was calling himself these days. He looked like a former shadow of himself, being several pounds thinner and bearing a sickly pallor that Stephen immediately noticed, even during these circumstances.

A look of surprise was upon Stark's hollow face, but even as Stephen focused more upon him, it was quickly replaced by the cool anger of a man biting his tongue.

All five doctors were maneuvered to face Stark in a line before being forced to their knees. Stephen bit his lip to hold back a grunt of pain from his knees hitting the concrete floor.

"You say you are 'calling my bluff' with your medical team," said the man. He pushed himself off the wall and passed out of Stephen's line of sight. "Here they are." He started at Stephen's right as he went through the doctors. "Steffen Baar, chemist." A step closer. "Jada Ferguson, hematologist." Another step, and he heard Doctor Mahajan inhale sharply. "Meera Mahajan, pathologist."

Another step, and the man was behind him. To Stephen's utter horror, he felt cold metal press against the back of his head. "Stephen Strange, neurosurgeon." The metal then left his head and he heard another step. "Summer Weston, cardiothoracic surgeon." Another step, and he could see the man in the corner of his eye again, this time on his left.

Tony Stark kept his lips pressed in a tight line as their captor went through the line. When he finished, the billionaire swallowed and looked at them all. "Good job keeping me alive this long, docs," he said.

"Not good enough, Stark," the man snapped. "Their solution is only a band aid. They give you but a few more weeks. They are called the best doctors in the world, and they cannot yet make a cure?"

Stephen forcefully held back his retort regarding the man's utter ignorance. It was an outright miracle they found any sort of solution as quickly as they did to delay the spread!

Stark, it seemed, agreed with him, and had no such reservations with holding back. "That's insane, Yusifov. It takes teams of doctors months, if not years to create what you're looking for."

He couldn't see it, but Stephen could almost feel the sneer from their captor, this Yusifov. "In that case, you don't need this many doctors, do you?" A couple steps and he was again behind Stephen, further to the right. "I'm no doctor, but as far as I can tell, these two both look at blood and try to fix the problem. Neither of them fixed it, not fully. So who do you want to keep, Stark? The black American or the Indian Brit? One less woman won't make a difference."

Stephen dared a glance to his right when he heard quick breathing. Doctor Mahajan was visibly shaking and starting to hyperventilate; to her right, Doctor Ferguson was quiet, but her lips trembled and tears pricked her eyes.

Stark stepped forward, and several guns rose at the action. He stopped but held his ground, raising his hands. "Don't do this."

"Why not?" the man retorted. "You refuse to work because you are dying. They have failed you and one will pay the price. Perhaps both; they are both from lesser races."

As Stephen processed the fact that he heard a comment like that in fucking 2010, Doctor Mahajan's breathing accelerated into full on hyperventilation. His medical mind noticed it immediately.

But another was quicker to the draw. "Breathe through your nose, Meera," Summer said lowly. "Try to inhale for one-one thousand, then exhale through pursed lips. You can—"

"Shut up!"

Doctor Weston was smacked on the back of her head hard enough to send her sprawling to the floor.

And Stephen snapped.

Now, if one were to ask Doctor Stephen Strange, he would by no means consider himself heroic or noble. His role as a doctor was one of service, but even within his relatively short time as a neurosurgeon, he had already gained a prestige that recognized his rising star and already people in the medical community were considering him in the top ranks of neurosurgeons. Soon, demand for his expertise would be large enough for him to have the option to turn away those who weren't worth his time, and he felt not a lick of guilt for that. His skills were valuable.

But to hear this brute of a man first throw slurs at two of the most brilliant women—no, the most brilliant doctors—in their fields followed by an outright assault on the other caused a protectiveness Stephen hadn't felt since his sister's death to completely overtake him. He saw red.

He leaped up at Yusifov in a fiery anger, no particular idea in mind except stop him from hurting anyone rushing through his head. At this point there was little thought, only adrenaline and a near primal fury running through his veins. It wasn't like him to be so hot-headed; he was a man who kept his cool under the most stressful of circumstances. But perhaps several days of poor sleep combined with the stress of the situation finally got to him. When he thought about it in the aftermath, even he would admit he had no idea what he was thinking.

It was a spur-of-the-moment decision he would come to regret.

In one moment he managed to knock the pistol out of Yusifov's hands and punched him in the face. He recognized screaming, shouting, fighting in the noises behind him, but he was focused on his own target.

Stephen hit him twice more before someone threw an arm around his neck and dragged him back and began to choke him. He clawed at the arm, which did nothing, but then he aimed his heel down right to the sensitive part of his attacker's instep. The man grunted in pain and the grip around his neck loosened. 

A shot shattered through the enclosed space, causing Stephen to freeze in surprise—and that proved to be his downfall. He saw Yusifov raising his pistol just before he was whipped across the face with the weapon. The hit threw him off balance and he fell to the floor and lay there for a second, stunned. He felt wetness on the side of his head.

As Stephen attempted to push himself up, a kick to his back sent him back to the floor. An involuntary grunt of pain escaped him. He closed his eyes, pausing for breath, but was given little time to recover as he was grabbed by both arms and dragged up to his knees. From his new position, he could see the rest of the room once more, and Stephen's heart skipped a beat at what was before him.

There were several alarming sights: Tony Stark on his knees just like him, nose bloodied. One of the gunmen near Stark with a screwdriver sticking in his neck and very much dead. Summer in the corner of the room, holding a shaking Meera against her chest.

And Doctor Steffen Baar on the ground, bleeding out from his stomach as Jada desperately tried to stem the blood flow with her sweater. The red dripped through the fabric and onto the concrete.

Stephen felt ill. He instinctively reached forward towards Steffen, to try and help, but the grip on his arms tightened and kept him in place.

Stark was the one to speak first. "Let them help him. I won't fight further. I'll do what you ask."

Yusifov came back into Stephen's line of sight as he stepped in front of him, though his gaze was on Stark. He said to the engineer, "You killed one of my men. A life for a life—that is fair, wouldn't you say?"

"He did nothing," Stark hissed, pulling against the hands that held him down. Stephen could see the men pull him back and tighten their grip in response. "And he's needed. You wouldn't have brought him here otherwise."

"He didn't do anything," Yusifov agreed, then turned to Stephen. "This one did." He then sent a sharp kick into Stephen's stomach, causing him to double over in pain as far as the men holding him  allowed. He almost missed the next statement. "And I should kill him for it. But the surgeon will be needed. The chemist, though? He failed to make a cure for your ailment with a month of time, and you don't have much longer to live, Stark. The chemist failed, and at this point, he's a waste of medical resources."

Then Yusifov nodded at one of his men, and he grabbed Jada by the arm and yanked her up to her feet.

"No—please, no, don't do this!" she shouted as she was dragged away from Steffen. Their captors ignored her and Yusifov walked up to the wounded man. He aimed his pistol at Steffen's head.

"Don't do this!" Stark shouted.

A shot rang through the room. A loud sob came from the corner before it was muffled. Stephen's ears rang, half deafened from the sound. His stomach churned; he felt like he was going to vomit. He hung his head and closed his eyes, trying to breathe slow breaths through his nose.

All he could smell was blood. He forcefully suppressed his gag reflex. 

Stephen missed whatever conversation came next, too busy trying to calm his breathing, trying not to throw up, and not having the energy to make out the words beyond the ringing in his ears. But then the world was moving as he was pulled to his feet and shoved out of the room, leaving behind Tony Stark and the body of Doctor Steffen Baar.

-----------------------------------------------

I was stuck on what I wanted to do with this part with a handful of ideas and consulted my beta for ideas. She suggested death which I wasn't even thinking of because I'm very bad at killing off characters. I blame her fully :P

Tag list (just let me know if you want to be added/removed with a comment - still not on AO3!): @sobeautifullyobsessed, @tashacumberbitch, @babywarg, @nishtha3012, @ragingstillness, @walkin-in-the-cosmos (I think the reason I can’t tag you is because you’ve flagged your tumblr for sensitive media, possibly), @lafourmii20, @asexualchemist, @iveneverbeenmorestressedinmylife, @oo0-will-of-the-wisp-0oo, @animefanfreak45, @rulerofthefandomsnow, @killaspyglass, @renlybaratheon-tyrell, @symmetria42, @kay-lock-key-lock

[semifunctioningphan]

Chapter One; A day to remember

                                         Chapter One; Dan POV

It was just like every other morning in London. I awoke to the sound of people, buses, and cars passing by his window. I grabbed my phone and looked at the time. It was 9:00 AM and Phil and I had a very important meeting at 10:30. 

“Shit!” 

I reached to my right side to wake up his new husband Phil who wasn't there. Suddenly he smelled the warm smell of fresh coffee. I quickly hopped out of bed and got dressed, then walked down the hall. At the end of the hall in the kitchen stood Phil in his emoji pajamas. I laughed to myself and wondered if Phil would ever get rid of those things.

“Good morning!” Phil turned around with a smile handing me a coffee in a Hello Kitty mug. I took the mug and started to drink the coffee quickly, it was the only way I could function this early in the morning. Especially after the little sleep I had from the night before of internet shopping and browsing. I smiled at Phil. 

“Aren't you going to get dressed? We have to leave by 10:00 and we definitely do not want to be late to this appointment.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Phil replied with a laugh. He quickly kissed me and then walked towards the bathroom to get ready. ‘How did I get so lucky?’  I thought to myself. I sat on the couch and began to scroll through my instagram viewing fan art and comments about mine and Phils very quiet secret wedding we had only discussed after getting married. We announced it on our Stereo podcast even though we had been hinting at it for months. Of course the fans weren't surprised just like they weren't when I had brought out my coming out video. The fans just seemed to have a 6th sense for these sorts of things. After around 30 minutes of scrolling Phil finally emerged from the bathroom showered, dressed, and ready to go. 

I got up and grabbed my jacket, keys, phone, wallet, and of course Phils hand and we were headed out the door. What an exciting day that was ahead. 

                                                   Chapter one ; Phils POV

It was a busy and beautiful warm summer's morning when Dan grabbed my hand and we began our commute to the important meeting. ‘This meeting is going to change our lives’ I thought to myself, so the weather was suiting. My stomach was growling as I did not have any time to eat my morning cereals. 

“Dan would you want to go for brunch after this meeting? I am starving..” I asked Dan.

“Ummm yeah definitely. Starbucks?” Dan replied.

“How about somewhere more fancy to celebrate after the meeting. If everything goes well of course.” I was clearly anxious. Dan stopped and wrapped his arms round me just outside of the entrance to the underground. 

“Everything is going to be fine.” Dan smiled and gave me a quick peck on the lips before walking down the steps into the underground. ‘Dan was right’ I thought ‘everything was going to be just fine.’ I followed Dan into the underground station. 

                                         Chapter one; Dans POV

The ride on the underground was long and hot. It was mid July and the UK had just entered another one of its famous summer time heat waves. I watched Phil as he bobbed his leg up and down. I could see that Phil was visibly anxious so I began to talk to him to try and distract from all the worry. 

“So where were you thinking of going for breakfast afterwards?” I asked Phil knowing that food was one of the easiest ways to distract Phil in a time of such panic. 

“Somewhere with REALLY good pancakes. I did not have my cereal this morning so I am going to need an extra big breakfast to get me through the rest of my day.” Phil said. I giggled as it was typical for Phil to pick the most sugary food he could think of. 

“Haha alright sounds good to me. As long as they have good coffee I am happy” I smiled. After what seemed like an eternity but was probably only 10 minutes the Underground was finally at their stop. I looked at his apple watch. It was 10:10. Which meant we only had 20 minutes to get to the appointment, and we had been advised to get there early. I grabbed Phils hand and made a dash for the escalators back out onto the streets pulling Phil with me. The office we were headed to was only about 10 minutes away so I thought we would be okay to get there for 10 minutes before the meeting to look professional. 

Central London was busy which was typical for this time of year. Full of tourists from around the world enjoying all the different attractions London has to offer. The walk there seemed to be like an obstacle course dodging people, cars, buses, and of course pigeons. This clearly did nothing for Phils social anxiety so the faster that I got us to the office building the better, and after dodging several pigeons and ice cream eating tourists Phil and I finally made it to the building with just a little over 10 minutes to spare. We had gotten there earlier than expected. 

                                               Chapter one; Phils POV 

The entrance to the office building was like a cool cave welcoming Dan and I out from the heated streets of London. The outside of the office building seemed like any other, but the inside was very modern, bright, and colourful. As we approached the receptionist Dan spoke because I was too nervous too and Dan always seemed to know that, even without looking at me. 

“Hi, we have an appointment at 10:30. For Daniel Howell and Phil Howell.” Dan's voice seemed to sing at the receptionist. Dan has such a nice voice I thought. It was still exciting to me when I heard Dan say Howell instead of Lester after saying my name. 

“Okay…” the recepnist typed into her computer “Yup here you are! If you would like to sit right there, Mrs. Earhart will be with you shortly.” The receptionist pointed to a nice waiting area with comfy looking couches, a TV, and some childrens toys. As we began to walk the short distance to the waiting room my stomach became filled with butterflies. Dan and I had waited months for this appointment and it was finally here. We sat down on one of the couches and I pretended to watch the TV. Dan grabbed on to my hand and squeezed but didn't say anything. Dan was clearly a bit nervous too. This meeting could potentially change their lives. 

After what seemed to be the longest 10 minutes of my life, a short lady with long brown hair done up in a ponytail and in a nice pant suit approached Dan and I with a smile. 

“Hi you must be Mr and Mr Howell. I am Mrs.Earhart, but you can call me Jane. I believe we have spoken on the phone several times.” She smiled. Jane seemed like a kind lady. The sort you would expect to be working at an adoption agency. She seemed very warm and almost reminded me of Mrs.Honey from Matilda. I smiled back at her and nodded my head.

“Oh yes! I am Dan and this is my husband Phil.” Dan shook Jane's hand. 

“Nice to meet you!” I smiled at her again and shook her hand after Dan. 

“And you Phil. If you two wouldn't mind following me, the meeting room is just down this corridor and to our left.” She began walking. Dan and I followed her down the hall, I still clutched Dans hand like my life depended on it. 

When we walked into the room there were already two people sitting around the small conference table. One was a middle aged woman who was nicely dressed. The other was a heavily pregnant girl, probably around the age of 16 or 17. The middle aged woman stood when Dan and I walked in to shake both our hands. The girl went to stand but the older woman muttered something and she remained seated. The girl had honey blonde hair, greyish blue eyes, and a lovely smile. She smiled at us as we sat across from her in the conference room. Jane began to speak. 

“This is Elizabeth and Victoria.” She said signaling to the girl. 

“But you can call me Ella.” She smiled and shook both Dan and I hands. Dan and I both smiled at her. She seemed like a wonderful young girl. The mother Victoria smiled and nodded at both Dan and me. 

“Elizabeth is 35 weeks preganant. She is also the one who has chosen you two to adopt her child.” Jane smiled at Dan and I. 

“Well uh thank you!” I said smiling at Ella. 

“Yes, it honestly means the world to us. You have no idea how grateful we are.” Dan said.

“No worries. You two seem like a lovely couple! I have seen a few of your videos on YouTube and that honestly answered my question as to who would be this little one's parents!” She smiled. I looked at Dan who was smiling awkwardly. I blushed. 

“Yes,” Victoria said, “She was quite taken by your videos really. She said to me it was like watching an application instead of just reading one.” Victoria replied. Ella blushed. 

“Well once again thank you so so much.” Phil replied “It's really a huge deal for us and we promise we will take good care of the child.” 

“I would hope so!” Victoria was incredibly snooty. Jane decided to speak up now as she could sense the attitude in Victoria's voice. 

“Well with all that being said, what would you like to know Dan and Phil? This is a great time to ask questions about the baby, discuss the birthing plan, and the adoption options.” Dan was the first to say anything.

“Would you like an open or closed adoption? Phil and I have discussed it and we both agreed that we would be happy with either. It's totally up to you.`` Dan spoke to Ella professionally. I nodded my head agreeingly. 

“Well,” Victoria spoke up for her daughter, “I have decided it is within Ellas best interest to keep this adoption closed. She is a young girl after all. Only 16. She does not need a child in her life at this early of an age.” I looked to Dan who was nodding along with what Victoria said. Then I looked to Ella who seemed rather upset. Jane spoke once again. 

“Perhaps the open or closed adoption thing can be discussed later. For now maybe its best that we discuss any other things like the baby growth and development?” Jane saw that Ella was upset too. After a few more questions and a discussion about the father of the child the meeting seemed to draw to a close. The baby was to be delivered at St Thomas’ Hospital here in London. The due date was August 7th 2021, and Dan and I were to go to the final scan which was next Wednesday at 3:00 PM. After the long discussions some papers were signed, and Dan and I left. This was the beginning of our new life and we were excited. 

[artificialqueens]

So Soon (Bitney/Witney) - Albatross

AN: Look, @VeronicaSanders, I finally wrote something with Bitney in it! 😁

Inspired by ‘So Soon’ by Marianas Trench.

‘That was quick.’

Those were Willam’s first thoughts as he scrolled through his Instagram updates and found a recent post of Shane and Roy out at lunch overseas. To anyone else it might have just looked like a couple of friends sharing a meal but Willam knew better than that. If they were truly just out for a casual lunch, neither would have been dressed so nice. Sure, it was a far cry from a suit and tie but a button up shirt in the middle of summer? Hair neatly combed and meticulously style? Light application of makeup to hide any blemishes?

No.

Willam knew all too well what the little signs looked like.

After all, Shane had done the same for him not too long ago. Or perhaps it had been longer than he cared to admit. It has been almost a year since Shane moved to the UK and their relationship had fallen apart not long after that. Still good friends, that was true, but with an entire ocean separating them it was hard to maintain an already delicately balanced relationship. 

Even before Shane left there were warning signs of their partnership starting to crack. But then again hindsight is 20/20 and maybe Willam was a little bitter about how it all turned out. At the time he hadn’t seen those red flags; he was so busy with his own work, as was Shane. They tried to talk about it but with so many legal implications barring them from sharing many details, the strain was unavoidable.

But maybe they both should have just tried harder?

Or maybe it was inevitable after all.

Shane never seemed to have his heart set on LA, not like Willam was.

If they had any idea of the greater changes to come, maybe they would have talked about it…or even called it quits sooner.

Each held on to the relationship as long as they could until the chasm between them had become too great. 

They were stubborn. 

They didn’t want to believe their relationship had been doomed from the start as so many had prophesied before. Each fought tooth and nail to defend themselves whenever they heard a skeptical remark about their stability together. But there were times when the gossip truly got to them and they’d spend long hours into the night reassuring themselves that it could work, that it would work. 

But they might have just been deluding themselves after all. 

Or if Shane had stayed in the US, maybe it would have all worked out in the end.

But when he announced his intention to move, Willam did nothing to stop him. He held his tongue even as a fire raged inside of him. Harsh remarks were bit back but Shane knew him well enough to know when something was on his mind. Another sign they should have talked about this, he guessed.

Too late now.

Even after Shane had been gone for several weeks, Willam refused to admit that he missed his partner. He was too proud and that was his biggest fault. He spent so long convincing himself he didn’t need another person to be happy that he missed his opportunity to confess to Shane before it was too late.

Even after they split, Willam still would not admit such feelings. He simply buried them deep inside under a layer of forced happiness and busywork to keep his mind off everything.

And it worked for awhile…

Until the pictures started flooding in.

It was no surprise that Roy had work available overseas, nor that the two would spend time together. Willam thought nothing of it when the first few posts popped up.

Then they became rather frequent…and finally it smacked him in the face what was going on.

Shane was moving on with Roy in tow while he was left to wallow in his misery.

True, there were plenty of hook ups and even a couple of longer flings here and there but he still hadn’t quite gotten over Shane. There was still a hope that Shane would tire of the UK and move back or take the steps Willam refused to acknowledge and bridge the gap between them. No matter how it happened, deep down Willam believed they’d find their way back to one another, they had to.

But he was wrong.

It only took one look at the pictures of them together to see that Roy and Shane were giving their relationship a good, honest effort. Each was undoubtedly going the extra mile, both to keep things quiet and to build the stability of their newfound relationship.

Before long other queens were catching on as well, though few dared to talk about it in Willam’s presence. If that happened to be the topic of choice as he came around, all conversation would grind to an awkward halt. 

It annoyed him.

Pissed him off even. 

But there was nothing he could do about it.

One of the few people who dared to bring up the subject on their own was Justin. And even then it was brief. He hardly felt the need to mention it other than an occasional comment here and there. Yet as this latest update popped up on their feeds while they drank backstage before a show, this felt like something they needed to talk about…at least for a moment.

“You okay?” Justin asked softly as his hand laid comfortingly over Willam’s shoulder.

There was a pause as Willam wrapped his head around the question and tried to decipher his feelings. 

It was confusing; he was happy for Shane and Roy but also deeply hurt. Maybe because he knew Shane’s new partner but more likely it was because he suspected that this relationship had something real and anyone who could have inspired those feelings in Shane was likely to earn his contempt. 

And just maybe, he was angry with himself for not moving on yet.

Finally answering the innocent inquiry, Willam replied, “I don’t know…It just feels…so soon.”

There was a noise of understanding and suddenly it truly struck Willam to his core. Of all the people he knew, Justin was probably the most likely to understand what he was going through. The most likely to know how it feels to watch the person you love move on and find someone else while you stayed lost in the shadows of a broken relationship.

“Why couldn’t he just be lonely, too?” Willam asked to no one in particular. “At least for a little longer.”

There was a comforting squeeze to his shoulder as he closed out of the social media app in a useless attempt to push away the thought of Shane happy in someone else’s arms.  Then just as he laid his phone back on the table, a pair of warm and strong arms were wrapped around his upper body. The contact was unexpected but strangely welcomed. Typically Willam preferred not to receive unexpected hugs but in this case it was needed, wanted even.

“I’m here when you want to talk,” Justin assured him in a soft whisper just beside his ear. “Day or night, just call me. I’ll pick up.”

“Thanks, 'Lask.”

They pair shared a bittersweet smile and separated to continue getting ready for the show set to start in half an hour. As they methodically worked their way through their unique routines, their phones came alive every now and then with alerts from social media or texts from friends. Willam replied to most but Justin’s only conversation of interest was with Aaron at the moment.

The Pittsburgh queen knew all too well about the situation thanks to social media, idle gossip, tidbits from Willam himself and of course, Justin filling in the remaining gaps. But there were also a few facts about the situation that even Willam didn’t know. 

First, being that Shane struggled just as much with moving on and still was despite how happy he looked. 

Second, was that Roy felt frequent pangs of guilt over his new relationship, enough he was dreading the next time when he’d come face to face with Willam. 

And then finally, and perhaps of the most importance to Aaron, was Justin’s feelings in all of this mess.

Justin had been watching Willam and Shane’s relationship from the sidelines all the way from the very beginning to when it ultimately fell apart. He supported the pair. Actively defended their relationship whenever he heard a snide remark from a stranger or even colleague. 

He cared about both of his friends deeply but despite his loyalty, a part of him was glad when all was said and done. 

And Aaron knew exactly why.

He was supportive in his own way, gently encouraging Justin to admit his feelings before it was too late but there was always some kind of hesitation. Justin said the timing needed to be right before addressing the topic. To Aaron’s mind, there was no true right time but Justin insisted there would be, it just hadn’t happened yet.

“Soon,” he’d say after being pressed for the upteenth time.

Of course Aaron’s eyes would roll as he scoffed in disbelief but he’d let the subject drop for the time being. This was such a routine, so practiced at this point that he was waiting for the inevitable, indeterminable phrase to be flashing across the screen of his phone any second now. He knew asking that question yet again would likely stop the conversation dead in its tracks but strangely, instead of an immediate one word reply, there was a lapse of several minutes. Aaron was starting to worry that perhaps he finally pushed it too far this time but as he read the first few words of the newest block of text, he felt an overwhelming sense of relief.

'Willam wants to talk after the show.’

'We’re gonna head back to the hotel and drink at the bar. More quiet there he said.’

'I think’

'He might be ready to talk about Shane and Roy.’

A smile tugged at the corners of Aaron’s lips as he read the string of texts through once more. Maybe, just maybe, there was hope for these two yet.

[borisbubbles]

15. UNITED KINGDOM

SuRie - “Storm” 24th place

Lol this shit is such a  gay reclamation anthem <3 Storms don’t last foreveeeeer, remember~ 

I’ll will start by getting the negative things out of the way first: “Storm” is kind of... not a good song. It is bland, has some really cringy verses and a very cliché message. So when I call it a “Gay reclamation anthem”, it’s mostly because “Storm”’s lyrics are so generic they’re applicable to literally any situation, like those televised fortune teller advice. 

Fortunately, we’re here to rate the performance as a whole, and the rest was pretty good. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, but the UK were given two hard amber lemon rinds and turned it into Fanta. This song could have soooo easily been cringe, messy, awful, etc but instead became a quasi-inspirational and highly quotable funbop. The crowd was SO into it (bless all the UK gaebears for rallying for their queen supreme<3) <3 The staging was great too, adding some physical depth SuRie could play with. Speaking of SuRie, she does her damn’dest to sell the living shit out of her crappy song and succeeds because she’s such a fucking ~Force~. 

Don’t fucking MESS with our basic queen. 

I can already hear the murmuring of “um did you rank SuRie this high out of sympathy” and that would be a brash and somewhat inaccurate statement.

SuRie doesn’t rank this highly because some lunatic invaded her stage.

She ranks this high because she recovered.

It is easy for us to trash this contest for being the shitshow that it is, but nevertheless, it’s a massive event for all those related to it. These debutantes and dilletantes rehearse for months perfecting their act (unless you’re Belgian, then you get to skip this insignificant phase) and for some MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE to storm the stage and ruin the moment you’ve been living towards for the sake of some pallid political message nobody fucking gives a fuckingly flying fuck about is downright mortifying. 

However as the saying goes, “Storms don’t last forever, remember~”

A lesser performer would’ve just thrown in the towel right then and there but not Susanna Marie fucking Corkscrew. As she reached Darkest Dungeon Stress Level 100, she rolled a Virtue, wrestled control of the mic (literally. She had bruises on her arm and fingers) and fucking continued on like the Champ she is with even MORE conviction than before. 

It made all the difference. With a simple stroke of balls and professionalism, SuRie single-handed turned her NiceGenericSong™ into powerful experience about DON’T GIVE UP, NO NO! The fanboy in me is shaken. What an icon in the gayme of LYF. She’s an inspiration to us all, y’all.

The cherry on top was that the incident led to some last-minute betting odds surgence, instantly propelling SuRie into the top three to WIN!!!!! This fucking year, lmfao <3 Just imagine. Of course, it led to her finishing in 24th place instead of last, but small victories.

People may say it was dumb for SuRie to decline a redo at the end, but it’s defo the smartest choice? Redoing that EPIC, irreplicable recovery just for something vaguely pleasant only would have diminished her legacy. NOW MILK THAT UNFINISHED BIZ RETURNEE SLOT, WOMAN!!! MILK IT TO THE LAST NOTE!!!

RANKING SO FAR:

15. United Kingdom (SuRie - “Storm”)

16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)

17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)

18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak  - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We Got Love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Josef - “Lie to me”)

FOOTNOTES

1) In case you think the stage invasion had a massive impact on SuRie’s rank, it really did not. She always would’ve ranked within the “acts I liked but don’t have very strong feelings for” tier, except now she rests near the top of that tier, instead of near the bottom. 

2) Concretely this means I bumped her up by two spots. lol

3) End-game betting odds insanity is always great. Of course by this point odds have become completely unreliable, but it always yields hysterical what if scenarios. Ieva being top 3 after the first semifinal <3 Ryan being top 3 before the  finale </3 and being dethroned by fucking SURIE <3. Jessica and Rybak dominating the odds only to die INSTANTLY after the second semi <3 <3 <3 <3 

4) Also remember that it was SuRie’s stage invasion that prompted Filomena to conduct an impromptu interview with the closest “human being” she could find. Sadly (for her), she picked Mélovin and once she had asked approx two questions all of his weirdass quirks came flowing out of him like the insides of a lava cake.  She had to instantly break the interview off because she had no idea how to handle any of it lmfao <3

5) If the BBC are smart, they will internally select SuRie for 2019 and centre the selection around picking a song for her. (I strongly feel like this will happen too, and soon) Now that the outrage is still lukewarm, announcing her before the end of summer would be a really clever solution that might actually propel them out of that accursed bottom 10? Or perhaps not, lol.  

[sweet-apples-and-cinnamon]

Mt Fuji, The Conqueror Virtual Challenge, and Recovering from a Gastrocnemius Tear

Before Christmas, my sister and I signed up for The Conqueror Mt Fuji virtual challenge. Over the last few months, we slowly knocked out the 74km distance. I finished my challenge last week and I’m super chuffed about it for a few reasons. 

Back in 2016 - only a few entries ago because I haven’t been using this Tumblr much - I tore my gastrocnemius muscle. The years in-between have been really tough on my fitness. Summer 2017 saw me completing a geology mapping project where I could walk as little as 5km in a day to as much as 25km, all on a barely healed leg and a newly-sprained foot. In subsequent years, I’d go snowshoeing or do something equally strenuous and I’d tear my muscle again, leaving me struggling to walk for weeks until it healed again. I tried running but a 20 minute interval run also tore my muscle and I had to dial it back to 10 minutes total. Honestly, I was in so much despair thinking I’d never be able to hike or run again.

I’ve got quite chubby over the years due to my work in mining. I couldn’t cook at all because everything is provided by the mining camps. Miners seem to like fatty fried foods so I’d gain weight in the month at camp and then lose 5-10lb in the two weeks at home. Working out was impossible because of luggage limits for helicopter flights preventing me from bringing equipment, working in -55C temperatures preventing outdoors exercise, and physically demanding 12+ hour shifts that left me drained. My good work during my two weeks at home was never enough and my weight slowly climbed. When I finished that job, I completed the first three weeks of Joe Wick’s 90 Day Plan but that was cut short with an international move back to the UK and a major life change.

This last year I was doing an MBA and was often out of the house between 7.15am to 9.30pm so a lot of the food was grabbed on the go. I tried so hard with meal prep on Sundays but the stress levels with long class hours, hours of readings and essays, and networking sessions with employers got too much. I actually managed to maintain my weight for a lot of the MBA but the situation with covid and being housebound saw a bit more weight gain.

So the challenge represented a huge effort to try to get back into fitness. My leg was agony for the first month during runs. My calf muscle would be a tight ball and it would pull on the shin muscles and I’d lose control of my foot. Eventually, and with some prolonged weeks off for injury recovery, it improved. My final run of the challenge was 8.2km of intervals with 2 minutes of running and 2 minutes of walking. I still have to be careful with my leg and not push too hard. It also really hates the smallest of uphill inclines and sideways cambers. But back in December, I wasn’t sure if I’d finish the challenge and now here I am looking back having succeeded. 

And it feels good to finally succeed at a fitness-related goal, just like I used to. 

Did I lose weight? No, which is weird. I’m going to be following up with my doctor in the next few weeks, covid allowing. My sister said I appear slimmer around my hips so perhaps I’m just recomping, though my clothes feel tighter than ever. I started Joe Wicks’ 90 Day Plan again today so we’ll see how the next three months go.

I thought the Old Me was dead but no, she’s in there somewhere trying to get out.

[aion-rsa]

Hannibal: Did Author Thomas Harris Try to Destroy Dr. Lecter?

https://ift.tt/3h4huHT

It’s appeared for a while now that Dr. Hannibal Lecter–the forensic psychiatrist, cannibalistic serial killer, and pop culture icon featured in four novels, five movies, and a TV show–has been unstoppable. Several of those projects were highly acclaimed by critics and tremendous hits with audiences. And Anthony Hopkins even earned an Oscar for playing the doctor The Silence of the Lambs, which itself went on to sweep the Academy Awards.

So why did it seem like Thomas Harris, the reclusive author who created Dr. Lecter and wrote the novels, tried his best to kill off the public interest in Hannibal–if not Hannibal himself–at the height of the character’s fame? Because that appears to be almost exactly what Harris attempted to do with Hannibal, the third book featuring the erudite monster, which was published in 1999. Less than two years later, the film version arrived in theaters (20 years ago this week, in fact) and received just as polarizing a response as Harris’ book.

Two decades later, Hannibal, a top shelf, A-list Hollywood production directed by Ridley Scott and featuring Hopkins in his second portrayal of Lecter, remains a bizarre, flawed artifact. Mostly faithful to the equally weird and at times repugnant book, it’s a borderline insane movie that turns the murderous Lecter into ostensibly a hero and, while not going quite off the deep end as the novel, features one of the most gruesomely bonkers climactic scenes ever filmed for a mainstream motion picture. Why?!

Well…

The Road to Hannibal

Harris, now 80 years old and a former journalist for the Associated Press, published his second novel, Red Dragon, in 1981. That story introduced Hannibal Lecter fto the world for the first time. When the book begins, Lecter is already imprisoned for his ghastly crimes, having been caught by the haunted FBI profiler Will Graham. When Graham is called out of retirement to catch another killer, he consults with Dr. Lecter on the case despite the serial killer’s ability to manipulate Graham psychologically. Lecter is very much a supporting character in Red Dragon, which was also reflected in the first film made from the book, Michael Mann’s Manhunter.

Released in 1986, the movie starred William Petersen (CSI: Crime Scene Investigation) as Graham and Scottish actor Brian Cox (Succession) as Lecter (spelled “Lektor” in the movie). Cox is only in a handful of scenes, but makes a strong impression in his few minutes of screen time; both his performance and the film–which was not a success with either critics or audiences in its initial release- have grown in popular stature over the years.

Two years later, in 1988, Harris published his third novel, The Silence of the Lambs. Dr. Lecter is a much larger figure here, as he’s called upon to advise on a new serial killer case by Clarice Starling, an FBI agent in training whose innate decency and compassion stirs respect and even admiration in the otherwise psychopathic doctor. The parallel storylines, the introduction of a superb character in Clarice, and the further development of Lecter, plus the macabre aspects of the narrative made the book an instant classic and one of the great psychological horror novels of its time.

The Silence of the Lambs was a runaway bestseller, but this time the book’s success was equaled by that of its screen adaptation. Jonathan Demme directed the 1991 film based on Harris’ novel, in which Anthony Hopkins played Lecter for the first time, earning for himself both full-fledged movie stardom and an Oscar for Best Actor. Jodie Foster played Clarice, also landing an Oscar for her work; and the movie was just the third in history to sweep all five major awards by also picking up Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Adapted Screenplay.

With the film version of The Silence of the Lambs a box office success, and Lecter entering the pop culture zeitgeist (along with catchphrases like “A nice Chianti…”) as a monster with intelligence, wit and taste, the movie’s producers and the public began to clamor for a sequel.

Hannibal Emerges from His Slumber

It was 11 years before we heard from Thomas Harris and Hannibal Lecter again on the page, with Harris in no rush to deliver a new adventure for the doctor. In his book Making Murder: The Fiction of Thomas Harris, author Philip L. Simpson quotes Harris as saying, “I can’t write it until I believe it.” But in 1999, he finally delivered Hannibal, his longest book to date (484 pages in first edition hardback), and the first in which Lecter is clearly, and perhaps ill-advisedly, the central character.

Taking place seven years after The Silence of the Lambs, the story finds Clarice facing a career crisis when she is blamed for a botched drug raid. But when a letter from Dr. Lecter to Clarice shows up, the FBI puts Clarice back on the doctor’s trail. Meanwhile Lecter is living in Florence under a different identity but is pursued by an Italian detective named Pazzi. The latter aims to collect a huge bounty placed on Lecter’s head by Mason Verger, an incredibly wealthy pedophile who wants revenge on Lecter for disfiguring him during a drug-fueled therapy session years earlier.

To Harris’ credit, Hannibal does not simply retread the same ground as the classic novel that preceded it. According to a new introduction he wrote for Red Dragon, Harris reportedly “dreaded doing Hannibal… dreaded the choices I would have to watch, feared for Starling.” The book is nothing if not filled with dread, and its main theme is that every single human being is capable of corruption, evil, and depravity–a bleak assessment of the species, even for this book series.

Harris expounded upon his theme by making Hannibal his grisliest novel. Lecter murders Pazzi by disemboweling him and hanging him from Florence’s famed Palazzo Vecchio while the hideous-looking Verger, his face and body all but destroyed, plans to enact his vengeance on Lecter by feeding him alive to wild boars. Verger himself meets his end at the hands of his sister, who chokes Verger to death with his pet moray eel–and after violently extracting some of his sperm so she can have a baby with her lesbian partner.

The book ends on its most controversial and polarizing note: Lecter rescues himself and an injured Starling from Verger’s plan, then captures Starling’s nemesis at the Justice Department, Paul Krendler, and prepares a dinner in which he and Starling eat a portion of Krendler’s brain before Lecter kills him. Lecter then digs up the bones of Starling’s father and uses hypnosis to allow her to “see” her father and say goodbye to him, after which Lecter and Starling become lovers and vanish to Buenos Aires.

In the book’s logic, Starling finally accepts the love of the one man in her adult life who has treated her with respect.

What Was Thomas Harris Thinking?

Hannibal, the book, was the second biggest pop culture phenomenon of the summer of 1999 after the release of Star Wars – Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Some 1.5 million copies of the novel were shipped to bookstores. Other publishers, like movie studios getting out of the way of an Avengers flick, shifted their big titles away from June of that year. An advance review from no less an authority than Stephen King called it “one of the two most frightening popular novels of our time,” placing it alongside The Exorcist, in his New York Times review.

Then more critics got to read and review it. So did the public.

The novel, and especially its shockingly subversive ending, scrambled the brains of everyone who read it. An analysis of the book by the influential Kirkus Reviews had positive things to say about Harris’ “baroque new approach” to the serial killer genre and his “audacious epilogue,” but directly compared the Dr. Lecter saga to Star Wars in the sense that both had become a brand.

It was true: in the years since the release of The Silence of the Lambs, Lecter had transformed into a tangible intellectual property, becoming the subject of jokes and parodies, and a meme before we even knew what those were. The terrifying monster of Red Dragon and Silence had become the murderer everyone loved and laughed over–a transition which even Anthony Hopkins reportedly found unfortunate and disturbing.

Read more

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Yet it’s worth wondering then if that is the point in Hannibal. Harris is an intensely private person who did not care for the public spotlight. He told the New York Times in 2019, in his only interview in decades, that he found fame to be “more of a nuisance than anything else.” It is easy to imagine he might’ve viewed Hannibal as a way to short-circuit both the overhyped expectations of the public and the evolution of Lecter into some kind of weird fictional celebrity. And perhaps he saw his book as a way of moving past Lecter himself and freeing himself to write new stories?

“I like to think Harris at least partly ups-the-grotesque-ante in Hannibal to rub our collective noses in our collective love for a serial killer,” wrote Patrick J. Sauer in 2019–the book’s 20th anniversary–at Crimereads. “Maybe Harris knew another straight-forward thriller wouldn’t cut it, so he had no choice but to go Grand Guignol on his readers.”

Professor Mark Jancovich of the University of East Anglia (UK), mused in the same article that Harris had other ambitions. “I think Harris might just have wanted to finish Lecter off like Arthur Conan Doyle tried with Sherlock Holmes,” he said. “But there’s also the sense he might have been under huge pressure by the publishers. It’s not really clear what the impetus for the book is, other than the obvious commercial one.”

Whatever Harris tried to do with Hannibal, it doesn’t really work. While the book is gripping and the prose precise, making Dr. Lecter the ostensible protagonist is a mistake. We learn more about his background for one thing, including the unspeakable death of his younger sister during World War II, but that robs him of being the unknowable, terrifying force of nature that he is in the first two novels.

Meanwhile the once-formidable Starling is reduced to an almost passive supporting role, buffeted around without agency until she just essentially gives up and is saved by Lecter. Maybe Harris really did want to turn off his public so that he would never have to write about Hannibal Lecter again.

Hannibal Now Playing at a Theater Near You

The film rights to Hannibal were snapped up in record time for $10 million by Italian producer Dino de Laurentiis, who had produced Manhunter yet passed on Silence. But there was a problem: Director Jonathan Demme, star Jodie Foster, and screenwriter Ted Tally–all major components of the success of Silence, along with Hopkins–had no interest in coming back after reading the book.

Demme was reportedly disappointed by the novel’s copious gore and skewing of Starling’s character, with Foster also dismayed by the latter. Although she said at the time that she was committed to another project, she later came clean and told Total Film, “Clarice meant so much to Jonathan and I, she really did, and I know it sounds kind of strange to say but there was no way that either of us could really trample on her.”

Hopkins did return, however, and the role of Clarice was recast with Julianne Moore taking the part. According to the “making-of” feature on the DVD, Angelina Jolie, Hilary Swank, and Cate Blanchett were all considered as well. However, Hopkins personally lobbied for Moore after working with her in Surviving Picasso.

“In instances like this, the comparisons are inevitable and of course there’s some apprehension about it, because Jodie was really, really fantastic… I mean, she’s a great actress,” said Moore on the DVD. “But it’s a different movie, so that’s the way I have to approach it.”

An unbilled, unrecognizable Gary Oldman played the disfigured, malevolent Verger, while Ray Liotta took the role of Krendler. Inheriting the director’s chair was Ridley Scott, of Blade Runner, Thelma and Louise and Gladiator fame, while the script was handled initially by David Mamet (Glengarry Glen Ross) and then again by a major Steven Zaillian (Schindler’s List) rewrite. With all that talent, the budget was said to exceed $100 million.

But there was a problem: that ending. While Scott found a certain baroque tone that echoed Harris’ book in some ways, and was perfectly happy to retain the gutting of Detective Pazzi (played by Giancarlo Giannini), the wild boars, and even the cooking of Krendler’s brains by Lecter–a scene which ranks high on the all-time insane list–there was no way the filmmakers were going to alienate audiences by having Clarice Starling eat those brains and then make love to the doctor. Not a chance.

“I couldn’t take that quantum leap emotionally on behalf of Starling,” Ridley Scott told the Guardian at the time. “Certainly, on behalf of Hannibal–I’m sure that’s been in the back of his mind for a number of years. But for Starling, no. I think one of the attractions about Starling to Hannibal is what a straight arrow she is.”

In the film, Clarice does not dine with Lecter and does not fall into the drug-induced hypnosis of the book. With the law closing in on them, Lecter finally professes his love for Starling, and when she manages to handcuff the two of them together so that he cannot escape, he sacrifices either his own hand or at least a finger (it’s never made clear) to slip out of the cuffs and escape into the night.

When we last see him, he’s on a plane to a destination unknown and he’s feeding a slice of leftover Krendler to a young boy seated next to him. Starling remains behind, her future also unknown.

Hannibal, the movie, was released nearly 10 years to the day that The Silence of the Lambs arrived in theaters. The R-rated movie scored $58 million in its opening weekend, the highest opening for a film with that rating until The Passion of the Christ came out in 2004. The movie ended up earning $165 million in the U.S. and a total of $351 million worldwide, good enough for 10th highest gross of that year.

Critics were less kind than audiences, with the film scoring just 39 percent at Rotten Tomatoes. The reviews were split along the same lines as those for the book. While some critics praised the film’s style and audacity, others bemoaned the lack of great character interaction and thematic resonance that made The Silence of the Lambs a masterpiece.

And it was true: Hannibal, as both a movie and a book, exhibits the same strengths and suffers from the same problems. The projects are stylish, exquisitely written/produced, and possessed of a fair amount of black humor and boldness. But putting Lecter front and center, while robbing Starling of her agency and motivation, creates a box from which the story cannot escape. Both characters are offscreen (so to speak) for long stretches while the Verger and Pazzi stories play out, and the story is so damning of essentially all of humanity that it’s hard to get a handle on anybody.

Yet both the book and the movie were monster hits, so if Harris really did intend to stop Lecter in his tracks with that bizarre ending, he failed.

The Aftermath of Hannibal

Producer Dino de Laurentiis insisted on making more Lecter movies. First he ramped up a faithful remake of Red Dragon, this time under its original title and with Hopkins once again in the role of Lecter, joined by Edward Norton as Will Graham and Ralph Fiennes as killer Francis Dolarhyde. Directed by Brett Ratner, the film grossed $93 million in the U.S. and $209 million worldwide, with critics again giving it mixed reviews but actually rating it higher (68 percent) than Hannibal.

De Laurentiis demanded more, and told Harris he’d move forward without him if the author did not wish to be involved. So Harris wrote a novel and a screenplay at the same time: Hannibal Rising, which explored–in excruciating detail–Hannibal’s entire early life, robbing him once and for all of any mystery he might have clung to. The film also didn’t really work, with French actor Gaspard Ulliel playing the young cannibal. He ultimately became the George Lazenby of the franchise. The movie was a dud all around, grossing just a paltry $82 million worldwide.

That seemed to be the end of the meal for Lecter, until he was resurrected again in the form of Mads Mikkelsen in the NBC-TV series Hannibal. The series, which ran for three years and featured elements of Red Dragon and the book Hannibal in addition to original material, was acclaimed for its macabre tone and painterly production values. Yet it never became more than a cult favorite, with ratings unable to sustain it past three seasons (although talk persists of a revival). Yet another TV series, Clarice, entered on special agent Starling in the years between Silence and Hannibal, also just premiered on CBS All Access to mixed reviews.

Even if Thomas Harris wanted to strip Hannibal Lecter of his popular veneer and make him a monster again with Hannibal, it didn’t really work. He left us instead with his most bizarre book to date and a movie that has its own depraved charms, yet ultimately pales next to its predecessors. And in the end, Harris may not quite be done with his most famous creation yet. While discussing Cari Mora, his latest novel, and the first in 38 years not involving Lecter, Harris teased the Times that “the Hannibal character still occurs to me, and I wonder sometimes what it’s up to.”

Perhaps creator and creation will once again sit down to dinner. Someday.

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[kansascityhappenings]

Joe’s Climate World: Looking at the changes in Missouri and Kansas (THU-6/18)

The hot start to June is going to back off a bit over the next few days…and perhaps into parts of next week as our needed rain chances start to increase beginning tomorrow.

The other day in my Tuesday blog…I talked about the changes from a KC perspective regarding our summers in the region. Go back to that blog for what has changed…and what hasn’t changed over the past 100 years. This climate related blog is going to delve more into some data for the states of KS and MO as a whole…to show what has changed from a temperature standpoint and perhaps what hasn’t over the course of the last 120 years or so.

To begin I want to show you two images…that sort of bring things home I think regarding how the weather has varied from year to year and has there has been an overall increase in the last 20-30 years from a statewide perspective. This looks at the statewide average temperature each year

Let’s start with Missouri:

You can see the hotter weather back in the dust bowl days…then again in the 50s…and now notice the last 20-30 years for the state as a whole. Obviously the reds are above average yearly temperatures and the blues are below. Then you have the shades of the colors for how above or below average it was.

Now switching towards the KS side…

The reddish turn is much more apparent over the past 30 years or so on the KS side.

IF you want to broaden the geographical view even more…take a look at the country as a whole.

The source of this data is: Graphics and lead scientist: Ed Hawkins, National Centre for Atmospheric Science, University of Reading. Data: Berkeley Earth, NOAA, UK Met Office, MeteoSwiss, DWD, SMHI, UoR, Meteo France & ZAMG

Here is an FAQ for you regarding the graphics.

I think I like showing this because it makes seeing that data and understanding it simple because most people who can see the colors can understand it readily.

It’s important to note a couple of things…the data basically shows the changes since 1895 or so. That’s about 125 years of data. In the world of climate though it’s a fraction of a second obviously. Remember the “weather” is what happens day to day…it changes by the minute sometimes…by the day more often…by the week almost all the time and by the month as the seasons change.

The climate is the day to day…week to week…month to month weather that is typically averaged over decades. 30 years is an average “snapshot” but even that is somewhat arbitrary but the idea is that it’s long enough to weed out certain immediate anomalies and short enough to show climate trends.

So let’s re-examine the data for MO/KS broken down into and actual graph…basically this is a chart that shows the average temperature from 1895>2019…which is 54.6°…and then the blue trend line and you can see the subtle but noticeable increase…and when examining the last 25+ years…the broad increases we’ve seen.

Missouri is first…

Now Kansas…

All this data is via NOAA National Centers for Environmental information, Climate at a Glance: Statewide Time Series, published June 2020, https://www.ncdc.noaa.gov/cag/

Back to that 30 year thing…we’re going to be changing our “averages” soon, at the end of the year…to 1991-2020. That means that when we talk about average snows in a year of KC and rain averages…that the 1980s drop out and the 2010s are inserted into the data. This could mean changes to those values locally…I’ll have to look at that sometime in the future. Anyway I took a look at what that would mean for the data above…just using that time frame (1991-2019 (didn’t include the soon to be final data point) as a reference point and the data shows that we will have increased our average statewide trends by 1° in that time period which is significant. So to compare the charts above showing the state average temperatures increasing some 1.5° on the KS side and about .8° on the MO side over the course of 125 years of data…but the 30 year trends are even more dramatic.

So to answer the question…yes Missouri and Kansas are warming up as a whole. Will there be exceptions every so often…absolutely. This doesn’t mean the end of snowstorms for those of you who enjoy snow…it doesn’t mean the end to floods or droughts that are not unusual around these parts. Basically it means from a data standpoint that things are gradually warming up.

That though opens a variety of issues in and of itself. Farmers will tell you things have and are changing and it’s up to them and the scientists to figure out how to roll with these changes. Over the years I have had dozens of conversations with farmers and those that rely on the land for their livelihoods about what they feel has changed and ways they’re trying to adapt. They know things are changing…they see it in their crops…in the pests they battle with…in the challenges they deal with that perhaps weren’t in the fields decades ago…or that have worsened through the years.

Adapting is a big platform that I believe in. Many others do as well. We need to be better stewards to our region and obviously to the world overall…that’s pretty simple to grasp. Can we learn/invent/improve upon current technologies to improve our lives and the environment…absolutely and we are. We’re learning new ways of making things better…of getting more and more energy from other sources and utilizing our current and needed resources better and more efficiently.

So what can we do about this…my mantra is we need to adapt as much as possible to what we face…and to always try and do better.

The folks at the Mid-America Regional Council (MARC) have put together a plan to try and make what we have now even better. Some of this is just “common sense” stuff really. Some of it is “big picture” type stuff. In the end the goal is to make our city…really all our communities better and frankly there isn’t anything wrong with that.

Here is more information from MARC about that…

There are all sorts of simple ideas out there to help out…like I mentioned some are incredibly easy to do…some are a lot tougher and will require deeper conversation and potential commitments…but even I know I can plant a tree.

Here are some other thoughts from the folks who have created a plan called ClimateAction KC

Our feature photo comes from ‎Tiffany Lanier‎

Joe

from FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports https://fox4kc.com/weather/joes-climate-world-looking-at-the-changes-in-missouri-and-kansas-thu-6-18/

from Kansas City Happenings https://kansascityhappenings.wordpress.com/2020/06/18/joes-climate-world-looking-at-the-changes-in-missouri-and-kansas-thu-6-18/

[junker-town]

Tactically Naive: The Premier League’s plan to save the season may be weirder than canceling it

The Premier League is reportedly discussing a ‘TV mega-event’ to cram 92 matches into a month.

Hello, and welcome to another edition of Tactically Naive, SB Nation’s weekly soccer column. Coming to you live from self-isolation in south London. Send donuts. Please, somebody, send us some donuts.

WELCOME TO PREMIER-LEAGUE-A-GEDDON

We reckon there are as many plans for finishing the football season as there are people who are interested in seeing the football season finished. The coronavirus shutdown is an amateur planner’s dream: a chance to spin elaborate schemes out of nothing, play them out, then nod at your own cleverness as they dissolve back into nothingness.

Doing similar things, but with significantly more relevance, are the various big brains of the Premier League. And according to The Independent, one idea “gaining traction” in recent days is a “TV mega-event,” in which clubs will:

play televised games in isolated “World Cup-style” camps in the midlands and London over June and July, in order to try and finish the 2019/20 season amid the coronavirus pandemic. [...] The Independent has been told that plans have been drawn up to televise all remaining 92 matches, with a handful on every day over the summer months.

The obvious advantage of this plan is that it completes the season. Games get played, broadcasting contracts get fulfilled, and nobody has to sue anybody because they did or didn’t get into the Champions League. The season can be stamped with a big red FIN, and things can move on.

And it sounds kind of exciting, right? It’s a powerful pitch, on the face of it. “You remember those World Cup group stages you like so much, when the sun shines and you get to watch three games of football a day without anybody being allowed to complain? Well, what about that but it’s the Premier League? Pretty tasty, right?”

Mull it over for a bit longer, however, and it starts to sound a bit peculiar. Ninety-two games in a month or so is a lot of football — almost another half World Cup tacked onto a full one. And the World Cup has 32 teams to go around, many of them interesting and relatively unfamiliar even in these over-saturated times. That can’t really be said for Norwich City.

Will the power of the Premier League, and the wave of relief at the thing actually getting done, be able to overcome the fundamental weirdness of it all? All these games, one after another, behind closed doors. Players totally isolated from the world; fans totally isolated from each other. (Assuming we’re not allowed back to the pubs by then.) There’s even a suggestion in there to use training ground pitches, which would truly drive home just how odd this has all become. Imagine your team being relegated by a goal scored on a training pitch. Utter misery, framed by a couple of bags of balls.

Might this plan in fact be weirder, in the end, than just stopping the season altogether? That, at least, would preserve the relationship between the football season and the shape of the year. We tried to do 2019-20, and we failed. Hopefully 2020-21 goes better, if it goes at all. It might be unsatisfying, and even deeply upsetting to some parties, but it isn’t strange.

But that would leave a lot of open questions, and while open sporting questions can be handled, open legal questions get very expensive indeed. Which is why a lot of very well paid people in very nice suits are asking each other questions like, “What’s the earliest point, morally speaking, that it becomes OK to take divert the medical resources required for a national football tournament away from an ongoing global pandemic, in order to fulfill a broadcasting contract?”

Everything hinges, of course, on what the disease does and, perhaps more importantly, if the UK gets a handle on what it expects the disease to do. But if we assume an end date of July 31, to coincide with the end of footballing contracts, and allow a month for the games, plus a week or two for “pre-season,” then you’d expect this to be moving by mid-June at the latest. Which would mean it would need to be agreed significantly earlier.

The logistics are considerable. Training facilities and housing for 20 squads, management teams, and support staffs, plus referees, plus operations staff for the stadiums, plus television crews, all in total isolation from the rest of the country, which will require security. Presumably they’ll need coronavirus testing capacity on tap, or else the whole thing will grind to a halt if anybody gets a cough. And they’ll be arranging this all over Zoom.

Well. Best of luck to all involved. At the very least, it would make for one hell of an ending to Amazon’s Spurs documentary.

Foundational texts: Watford 3-1 Leicester City

Looking back at the games that, when taken together, make up football as Tactically Naive wants it to be.

Barely needs any explanation, this one. More happens in this two-minute clip than gets crammed into most wars.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm past caring about football now, cos of all this craziness, but I just watched this - injury time in the Watford v Leicester play-off semi final 2nd leg - and realised I need this shit back in my life asap. About as good as it gets, this pic.twitter.com/ZYl5nlJc6D

— Sean (@shornKOOMINS) March 30, 2020

The emotional rollercoaster isn’t unique to football, of course, and as much as we’re a soccer column, the biggest highs and lows will come from whatever it is you care about the most. But football’s goals are rare and so intensifying, and here, where we go from a penalty at one end to a winner at the other, is perhaps the most intense, distilled, overproofed rollercoaster of recent years.

Indeed, it’s two roller coasters, one for each side, curled tightly around one another like a double helix. Imagine being Troy Deeney, seeing that miss, then scoring. Imagine being Anthony Knockaert, missing, then seeing that being scored. Each and every person invested in this game touched the very limits of their emotions, in all directions, within a handful of seconds.

[valmaior-blog]

Asymptotically tending...

Saturday 13/07/2019. A momentous day. I took a shower! Showering in itself is not that unusual, I shower every month, whether I need it or not;-) This was a momentous day because it was my first shower in my as yet incomplete new bathroom, and by new, I mean new. New concrete floor, new drains, new plumbing, rebuilt walls, new floor and wall tiles, new toilet-bidet-sink, new mirror, new electrics, new ceiling, new doorway, new window, and incomplete because the last 4 items are not yet installed.

Funny thing about the bathroom mirror, it is of the “blue touch” type. It has a permanently illuminated blue circle – very useful at night, which can be touched to turn the built in lights on, or off and cycle through the lighting options. Made in China. On the box, it proclaimed blue tooth – silly Chinese. Obviously never heard of Blue Touch, so I assume it was an error and had been helpfully corrected by the packaging printers for the manufacturer, except that after it was installed, I discovered that my phone can connect to it and play music. (apologies China) Also, when the lights are on, a heating element demists the central part of the mirror. Neither of these functions were on my list of essential features for a mirror.

The main problem has been the size of the house – 188 square meters – over 2000 square feet, and apart from the kitchen, (and now the main bathroom) the ceilings are over 3.5 meters (12 feet) high. Actually, the real problem has been underestimating the amount of work required, overestimating my skill and ability, and working around the lack of specialised tools.

So, it is now 2020. Time for an update. Progress has been slow. It is 1 year and 11 months since we bought the house. My initial estimate of 2 months to make it habitable is just a vague memory. The deeper I dig, the more I find that needs fixing. The termite damage that I though was confined to skirting boards proved to be more extensive. In places all the wood has been destroyed leaving just the paint! The schist stone construction is great for plants and small animals. It is like a dry stone wall, but the inside spaces are packed with soil. Where I replace termite terminated wood, I use concrete if possible.

In October, I visited the local health centre. I needed a medical to apply for a Portuguese driving license. I had been registered there for 3 years, but this was my first visit. While I was there, I was interrogated about my medical history, got measured, got a flu jab in one arm, and a tetanus jab in the other. Gluteus maximus, was untroubled. I have no idea if this is now the norm, or another Portuguese idiosyncrasy. Passed the driving test bit with no problems, amazingly, my eyesight was classed as perfect, but blood pressure was ridiculously high, looks like I will be on medication for a while. I was sent for chest X-rays, blood tests, I wore a heart monitor for 24 hours, and later, a blood pressure sampler for 24 hours. That machine squeezed my left bicep every 20 minute during the day, then allegedly every 30 minutes at night, but I don’t know for sure, because it didn’t wake me up. On my last visit to the Doc, I was told that heart and lungs were fine. My blood test results went missing somewhere, so I had to go to the lab and get them printed again. Steamed open the envelope that I have to deliver to the doctor, and checked. Cholesterol 188?? I should be dead. Checked the units – seems that EU and US have a different set of units to those in the UK, so divide by 40ish gives 4.7. He lives – again!  Seems weird that the US uses the same metric units as the EU, but UK doesn’t.

The flu jab seems to have been a waste of time though. I was stuck down with a severe case of man flu over Christmas and New Year.

Only those who have lived through man flu can appreciate the heroic efforts I must have made to cook a full Christmas dinner, including Christmas pud. I didn’t get round to making mince pies until New Years day though. That did give the mincemeat a little extra maturing time – 800% extra.  

Highlights of 2019?

1) Transporting a new double bed and mattress and wife to the house completely inside a Fiat Punto – just the normal hatchback version, with all widows and doors closed!

2) Successfully gluing 8 pieces of broken granite counter top (kitchen worktop)  back into 1 piece. (there was no way I would have been able to match the colour)

Spanish windlass in action.

So, we now have a basic but working bedroom, and have stayed over a few nights, we have a fully functioning kitchen and bathroom, but still lots of very dusty jobs to do before we can take up residence.

I received my Portuguese “Carta de Condução” a few days before Christmas. It took just under 2 months to arrive, which is very fast compared to times reported by the expats in the Algarve. It does involve Portuguese IMT communicating with UK DVLA to cancel my UK licence before a Portuguese version can be issued.

This was something I had to do, for two reasons.

1) To legally hold a UK licence, I must have a UK address.

2) To legally drive in Portugal for longer than 3 months, I need either an EU licence which has to be registered with the Portuguese Authorities every 2 years, or a Portuguese licence.

As it was looking increasingly as though my UK EU licence would cease to be an EU licence, I jumped before I was pushed. Exchanging a non-EU licence for a Portuguese licence generally involves retaking a driving test, which is only conducted in Portuguese.

I also renewed my passport online at the same time, which was processed very quickly. Perhaps because I waited 1 month to send my old passport back. However, DHL failed to deliver it on 3 occasions. I guess the driver just looked at the street name and thought “I know where that is” and went to the wrong street in the wrong town. I used the house address for the passport, because I had no idea how long it would take. I had to use the apartment address for the driving licence, because that is my registered address at IMT.

During the height of summer, we were surrounded by forest fires – not close enough to be scary, and we are far enough from the trees to satisfy our insurance company. There are, I think, about 12 water bombing planes in Portugal, and 4 of them were doing circuits and dumps (anyone?) loudly over our house for a few days.

There were some local road and expressway closures, and when reopened, evidence of major conflagrations on both sides, but as far as I am aware, locally, damage was restricted to vegetation.

Portugal is an odd country in many ways. Soon after we moved into the apartment, we found that there was a LIDL closer to us that the store that we had been visiting. So, we made that our local. Cheddar cheese from there is acceptable quality, and half the price of cheddar from the supermarkets. Man cannot live without cheese on toast! Also, IMHO, their croissants are superior to those purchased from E. LeClerk or Auchan. Anyway, I digress. Travelling to and from LIDL, we used to often pass a woman who appeared to be living in a Ford Transit (or similar) she seemed to spend most of her time sitting in a camping chair watching the traffic. I guessed this was the result of a breakup or a death. She was a fairly ordinary middle age specimen, somewhat overweight, and not well dressed.

When we drove to the beach though, we would sometimes pass aged grannies sitting on plastics stools, presumably abandoned by their families, who considered them too doddery to trudge through the pine forest collecting cones, firewood, mushrooms and stuff. This seemed to be common. It wasn’t until we traveled further afield, along roads more used by truckers, that the ladies sitting at the sides of the roads became younger, more provocatively dressed, and all seemed to have orange skin, like Donald Trump, or like original James T. Kirk Star Trek aliens. Then the Euro cent dropped. Not sure about the grannies, however, we often pass an orange skinned granny, though it seems that she is only there when there is no competition. Holidays, Sundays – bad weather etc.

Pet Peeves.

1)Expressways!

There is not much wrong with the expressways as such, but the sliproads (on/off ramps) seem to have been added as an afterthought, or without any thought at all.

As an example, here are two junctions I use frequently.

The north/south expressway is the A1, the main (and only practical) route to drive between Lisbon and Porto. The east/west A25 expressway heads across the border, towards Madrid.

I approach this junction from the top right on a sharpish right hand bend, which prevents me from reaching a safe joining speed. The trees on my left prevent me from seeing approaching traffic, and the slip road is only 65m long, and even that requires use of the shoulder.

What makes it worse, is that 80m further on is the exit slip to join the A1 in both directions, so vehicles intending to take that route are unwilling to move into the adjacent lane to give joining traffic some space.

The next example is in the centre of Porto. Again, I approach from the top right. A 2 lane slip road, which becomes 1 lane. This section is always busy, that is at the time I use it. The slip road is from the A28 expressway which runs north from Porto, and I am joining the A1 again, which here forms part of the Porto inner ring. I have usually queued on the A28 for 20 minutes to get here. With bad timing, that can be much longer.

I am trying to match the speed of the traffic on the A1, while watching for cars merging from the right. The evil designers plan here, was to make this entry slip road also function as an exit slip road. So some vehicles on the A1 are slowing down to try to move onto the slip road, and other vehicles on the slip road have no intention of joining the A1, but are heading for the exit.

The final example is just stupidity. Again the A1. This pic has been rotated 90 degrees, so north is on the right. So, heading south on a 3 lane expressway, you arrive at a junction. Conventional exit, 3 lanes continue. Just before the southbound traffic from the junction tries to join, the 3 lanes are reduced to 2, then the joining traffic has to squeeze onto an expressway which is suddenly 50% busier, and drivers who found themselves suddenly without a lane are trying to settle into their new spot and not worrying about joining traffic. Sometimes vehicles unable to find a gap are forced off the expressway and onto the slip road. The problem is not the reduction to two lanes, but where the reduction is located.

Finally, the cost. Almost all expressways have tolls. The quickest route from apartment to house (according to google) incurs a cost of €3.1 That is €31 per week if we go there and back on 5 days, and that is in the cheapest car class. When I rented a van to collect the kitchen, I racked up tolls of almost €200 over a weekend.

Pet Peeve 2 – Import duties.

Before we moved to Portugal, I bought a UK registered Left hand drive Freelander, thinking that I could just switch the registration to Portuguese when I arrived. Yes I could, but I would have to pay taxes of €12000. Used cars incur the same tax as new cars. Portugal has been told by the EU that this is illegal, but refuses to change. The cost of cars in Portugal is astronomical, so old cars are still valuable and are still kept running. If Portugal was forced to change, the price of used cars would collapse. Imports of goods from outside the EU have severe problems getting through Portuguese customs. They are frequently held up for months and incur significant charges, such that many people just refuse to pay.

I have just informed our landlord that we will leave in 2 months time, so that is how long we have to get everything ready. When we move in, there will still be a lot to do. I have a plan to fix the sagging wall (see blog). I found a problem with the river that runs through it (see blog) the stream exits the house though a tunnel in the wall. One day after heavy rain the previous day, the stream was insignificant, but the water was deep in the tunnel. I had no idea where the water goes when it flows out of the building, the exit is below ground level. I poked the hole with a sharp stick, and hit fairly solid stuff. Another job for the to do list. A few days later, heavy rain again, I wandered out to inspect it. Our tarmac driveway is on the other side of the wall, and there, a spring had sprung. Water was bubbling up through the tarmac driveway. I dug down to the stream where it exited the tunnel, and the was no indication of any other route that the water could take. There is no immediately obvious solution to this problem, so a bout of pondering is required. Sump and pump would probably be the easiest. If the water is raised by 1m I could pipe it to a drain, but I would much rather have a non-electromechanical solution if one can be found. I would never trust my boat to an automatic bilge pump. Though the house won’t sink, it could be damaged if a pumping system fails to operate.

The house has no heating yet, although we do have 3 portable electric heaters, and 2 portable gas heaters. I am flip flopping over systems – burning wood or pellets, oil, LPG, air conditioners, heat pump, …

Underfloor heating is not an option, the house has a mix of solid and wooden floors. I realise that in itself would not preclude underfloor heating, but it would complicate installation.

Wall insulation is not an option. The house is externally tiled, the walls are 60cm thick (that’s 2ft in old money), there is no cavity, and internal insulation would require drastic remodeling.

Double glazing is not an option, it would not suit the house. All the windows are 2m high, and 1m wide. Our internal shutters should achieve the same goal, if they can be made to seal effectively. However we did survive winter living on the boat in Preston with no effective heating – any attempt at heating resulted in torrents of condensation. However, the internal temperature never went below +3.

The last two years have been intense. I didn’t realise what the effect had been on me until I compared two virtually identical before and after photographs of myself.

Before...

And after.

I have similar pics showing the effects on Ping, but I doubt I would survive the consequences of including them here.

One theoretical benefit of the location of the house is the proximity of the only ski resort in Portugal – 2 hours drive.  At virtually 2000m above sea level, snow should be guaranteed.

This is what it should look like.

And this is a live webcam feed.

We have only ventured up the mountain once – about 3 years ago, in late spring, and there was still deep snow in places sheltered from the sun.

I had marmalade on toast for breakfast this morning – homemade organic marmalade, made from homegrown oranges :-). Organic, because we have ignored the garden, not because I have strong pro-organics sentiment. This was just a trial run – our oranges are not traditional sevilles, much smaller and sweeter, I had to tweak the recipe – drastically reduced sugar, so just one test jar. Not quite Golden Shred, but better than acceptable. Not bad for my first attempt.

We have a local railway station - 2.6km from the house, but I could not find a timetable for the trains, because there are none. The route is interesting, because it follows the ground contours, even in the hilliest parts of the route. No deep straight cuttings, viaducts, bridges or embankments, though there are a couple of tunnels. It seems that a few years ago, some bad weather damaged part of the track, causing the company to impose a 30km/h speed limit. More bad weather dropped the speed limit to 10km/h, then to 0. The middle third of the line is closed, and that section includes our local station.

The eagle eyed amongst  you might notice a red light on the right of the picture. We have on 3 occasions seen a train on the closed section of track. I guess there is only one maintenance depot. The exceptionally eagle eyed might notice that the track looks a little odd. That is because it is meter guage, 1.0m width. Normal tracks are 1.435m. Consequently, our line does not join with the national network. Our trains don’t fit on normal tracks, and normal trains don’t fit on our tracks. I believe that the railway company is unwilling to spend much money on repairs, and unfortunately the trains are not pretty - 2 car diesel electric, decorated in unimpressive graffiti, bought used for not much money from an East European country (Poland?) that had no further use for them.

As the Portuguese crow flies, it is 40km between the two extremities of the line, both coastal, but the track does head inland, and meanders from village to village, so the track length is much greater, almost 100km.

We tried the train once, from Aveiro to Sernada do Vouga, a little over 1 hour an 18 stations, followed by a stroll through the hills and forest to the house, a lot over 1 hour. We went back to Aveiro by bus.

It is January here - like everywhere else. We have bunches of narcissus and lilies in flower.

Grass hasn’t stopped growing, the oak trees still have leaves, the peach trees have new buds. No time to rest.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 27th October 2019

Top 10

For the fourth consecutive week, “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I reigns at the top of the UK Top 40, which is still impressive to me as I see little appeal in the song but it is starting to grow on me a bit. I could see myself finding this pretty damn good in the foreseeable future, but for now I don’t really have a strong opinion on it, and my opinion could sway either way by the end of the year.

Yeah, this is a pretty slow week, as you can tell by our top 10, at least the top half. “Ride It” by Regard featuring Jay Sean is a non-mover at the runner-up spot.

“Circles” by Post Malone has a new peak at number-three, up one space from last week.

Up three spaces this week into the top five at number-four is potential future #1, “South of the Border” by Ed Sheeran featuring Camila Cabello and Cardi B. I hope this doesn’t hit #1 but I feel like it’s inevitable.

“HIGHEST IN THE ROOM” by Travis Scott is surprisingly stable at number-five.

Lewis Capaldi’s “Bruises” has a single push up three spaces to number-six.

“Outnumbered” by Dermot Kennedy has an unexpected one-space fall down to number-seven, probably thanks to the rise of “Bruises” and “South of the Border”.

I guess our first interesting song of note here is “Buss Down” by Aitch featuring ZieZie, as the song enters the top 10 after a three-space boost to number-eight. It becomes Aitch’s fourth UK Top 10 hit and ZieZie’s first ever. Congratulations, even if I’m not a fan of the song.

“Be Honest” by Jorja Smith featuring Burna Boy is down a space to number-nine.

Oh, and a shocking nine-space increase for “Memories” by Maroon 5 leads it to #10, which astonished me. Regardless, it’s Adam Levine’s eleventh UK Top 10 success with the support of his “band”, and I can’t really complain. The song’s inoffensive.

Climbers

There isn’t much here to care about, in fact there’s barely anything notable here. MEDUZA, Goodboys and Becky Hill are up 18 spaces off of the debut with “Lose Control” at #15, which was unexpected, but when the chart is weak and stagnant it’s not really a surprise that uninteresting songs will have success: see “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi hitting #1 in the US. Elsewhere on the chart, “Playing Games” by Summer Walker with an extended version featuring Bryson Tiller is up six positions to #24 out of nowhere, and “Graveyard” by Halsey is up seven spaces to #29 for whatever reason and I’m not exactly ecstatic about that, the song’s pathetic.

Fallers

Our climbers seem pitiful so there must be a lot of fallers, right? Well, no, it seems relatively quiet here too, although arguably our biggest news here comes from the collapse of Harry Styles’ lead single “Lights Up”, which I found to be very disappointing and increasingly dull, down eight spaces off of the #3 debut to #11, which is pretty concerning for Harry’s new album roll-out. Also within the top 20 is “Take Me Back to London” by Ed Sheeran featuring Stormzy and remixed by Sir Spyro featuring Aitch and Jaykae, slowly making its way out, down five spaces to #19 this week. Speaking of smash hits exiting, “Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello is down seven spots to #34 as well, and off of the debut, “47” by Sidhu Moose Wala, MIST, Steel Banglez and Stefflon Don, has taken a massive plunge down 21 spaces to #38. Other than that, there’s nothing to discuss here.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

There are some notable drop-outs here, most importantly “RAN$OM” by Lil Tecca finally exiting from #40, although I feel this might return to the top 40 sometime soon. These are pretty premature dropouts I’d like to say, although I may be underestimating the song’s longevity on the chart as these weeks do start to blend together. “How Do You Sleep?” by Sam Smith is out from #39, and thanks to streaming cuts and dumb UK chart rules, “Both” by Headie One is out from #13, but that’s all as there are no returning entries.

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “The Last Time” – The Script

Produced by Danny O’Donaghue, Jimbo Barry, Mark Sheehan and Samuel Tsang – Peaked at #1 in Scotland

The Script are a boyband turned semi-serious pop rock band, and I have no interest in them, but they’re always just... there, but I guess that also means that I have no complains towards them either. Using that flawed logic, I should be very excited for this new lead single and their eleventh UK Top 40 hit, but hence as the ancient scriptures foretold, I don’t care at all about this new single and there’s not much quality here to care about in the first place. This has actually been out for a while, and I understand how long it took to catch on as it’s not very unique, with some nondescript guitar behind Danny O’Donaghue’s pretty decent voice but not a particularly impressive showcase of their talents, especially since all of this instrumental sounds like a reverb-drowned FL Studio project file, yet the drums feel intrusive more often than not and the sequencing is off around the chorus, even if the section where the drums come in is kind of cool and reminiscent of the arena rock feel they really wanted to go for... but then O’Donaghue goes for a butchered triplet flow in the bridge... and, yeah, this isn’t good, but I don’t think it’s all that bad at least, it’s just I’m finding it difficult to write the description here, since there’s nothing out of the ordinary here for typical 2010s pop-rock. It sure is listenable, and I guess that’s better than it could be.

#33 – “This is Real” – Jax Jones featuring Ella Henderson

Produced by Jax Jones, Mark Ralph and Tommy Forest

Alright, this is pretty routine for us at this point. Jax Jones has a new single, it’s his eleventh to hit the UK Top 40, and it features a performance from Ella Henderson, who I personally haven’t heard of since “Ghost”, which is a pretty awesome song... but I’m still not excited for Henderson nabbing her sixth UK Top 40 hit, as I know she’ll make sure her performance is as generic as possible for another house-pop song. I’m actually pleasantly surprised here, since she didn’t, really. In fact, despite her vocals being heavily-processed, she does remind me of a 90s house diva, and I’m half-expecting her to belt “You’ve got to show me love” in the chorus, the beat on the other hand is nothing really special but the keys here are pretty nice and do a good job at elevating the beat with its cheap snare crashes to something that sounds pretty uplifting. The chorus and drop here are really joyful, actually, it sounds pretty fun and... that’s all I have to say. The post-chorus is a tad annoying though, but this isn’t bad at all and I’m glad Ella Henderson is back at least.

#30 – “hot girl bummer” – blackbear

produced by blackbear and fmid

this song is already at a higher peak in the uk than “hot girl summer” by megan thee stallion, nicki minaj and ty dolla $ign. disgraceful.

oh yeah, i’ve ditched the capital letters this time. blackbear doesn’t need to put in effort, so i don’t think i need to. this song is a pathetic attempt from a talentless hack and nobody to capitalise on a genuine movement. but who cares about the politics and morality of the song’s existence purely to parody the #hotgirlsummer hashtag? let’s talk about the music. okay, it’s garbage. it’s a hot mess. blackbear appropriates the movement for a bitter kiss-off anthem, which he commands you to “throw a tantrum” to, even if this is far from danceable, in fact it’s a really mopey and slow song that somehow exceeds three minutes, which is impressive for blackbear, i guess. last time i talked about him was when “do re mi” featuring gucci mane was somehow a hit in 2017, and surprise, surprise, it’s equally terrible, but it at least has a memorable hook. here i’m left with very little to like. blackbear’s vocal performance, whilst heavily auto-tuned, is longing and desperate, making his posturing sound really sad, especially with the fake finger-snaps, vague “atmospheric” trap beat with a simple, lazy 808. throughout the song, blackbear just demeans this woman for three straight minutes, it’s really cruel but his emotionless triplet flow over this childish bells and synths as well as an out of place choir sample, makes there no excuse. Even with songs i don’t like that tackle this topic and vibe, like “i fall apart” by post malone, he doesn’t take the time about how he has drip or how you can’t “fit him in a trojan”. he has an actual bridge that doesn’t feel awkward going into that final chorus. he sounds, you know, awake, and has a lot of passion in his voice that makes his equally bitter and cruel lyrics sound meaningful, when they’re really not, but it at least adds substance and perhaps even context to the narrative. whilst on “hot girl bummer”...

got an emo chick that’s broken

..what. yeah, skip this song – it’s a pretty dreadful attempt at capitalising on a trend by promoting awful, worthless trap-rap, yet somehow it charted in the top 40, his first song to do so in the uk. again, disgraceful.

Edit: listening again that choir sample is even more egregious. like really what was the point of that?

Conclusion

I guess “This is Real” is somewhat decent in comparison to pop-rock fluff and... whatever that last song is, so Jax Jones and Ella Henderson get Best of the Week here, while blackbear definitely gets Worst of the Week for “hot girl bummer”, which just makes me sick every time I hear it. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week!

[aprilpillkington]

Seven Amazing Details About Ladies Day

The Ascot Events horse race is entering its third day, with all eyes on the elegant hats, attractive clothing, naturally, the royals. Day 3 of the five-day event is also the day of the historic Gold Cup. The Gold Cup is Ascot’s longest making it through race, and what is now called Royal Ascot started to take shape when The Gold Cup was first run in 1807. The Gold Cup coincides with what is colloquially referred to as “Ladies’ Day,” a term first used in 1823. An anonymous poet explained the day as “Ladies’ Day … when the women, like angels, look sweetly divine.” But the Ascot doesn’t officially recognize the day as Ladies’ Day. As the Ascot’s director of racing, Nick Smith, discussed to The Telegraph, they have not referred to Ladies’ Day in any marketing or promos products. “We are comfortable with the general public calling it that, but to market it as such would cause confusion as ladies’ days far from Ascot are entirely different,” he said. “We don’t have actually best dressed competitions– for either sex– and we do not believe catwalks and such like is what it is about.”

What is the Royal Ascot?

One of Britain’s the majority of well-known racecourses, Ascot holds a special week of races in June each year called Royal Ascot, went to by The Queen and other Royals At other horse races in the U.K., Ladies’ Days are associated with fashion competitors. At the Kelso Racecourse, which phases fifteen dives components during the season from September through Might, there are competitions for classifications such as Best Dressed Lady, Finest Dressed Couple, and Best Hat. While there are no competitors at Ascot, according to The Night Requirement, ladies still take care to dress in an extra glamorous look on Ladies’ Day to commemorate. Princess Eugenie wore a stunning floral-print Erdem dress teamed with a boater hat, while vocalist Ciara chose a chic white Edeline Lee dress. Royal Ascot’s spectacular heritage, unlike any other, has actually made the event the most awaited and revered the world over. From the arrival of the Royal Procession at 2pm sharp to communal singing around the bandstand, with six exceptional top-class races in between, each of the 5 days is extraordinary.

It’s a social highlight of the summer season, not just for the racing and royalty but also because of the style, style and breadth of entertainment available. A choice of four enclosures, each with a private character and many food and beverage alternatives, permit you to curate your own genuinely unique celebration. From exotic street food, gourmet hamburgers and timeless afternoon tea to bring-your-own picnics on the spotless yards and dining from Michelin-starred chefs, the choices for a splendid food experience alone are endless. It’s an opportunity to dress up and enjoy yourself while attempting to break bookies’ hearts. To experience it to its fullest, a little preparation will pay big dividends. Tuesday 19 If you’re looking to experience Ascot UK at its most regal, the opening day is a must. When the clock strikes 2 the Royal Procession begins and the landaus, led by 4 Windsor greys, make their way along the Straight Mile, enacting a British custom that stretches back to when Queen Victoria was a woman. There is no similar event in the racing calendar or indeed the sporting world and, while the spectacle is repeated every day of the conference, Royal Ascot’s opening day is justifiably renowned as breathtaking.

For flat racing fans too, this is a day not to miss. Three Group One races– the sport’s highest category, with the most significant cash prize and the very best horses– are run: the Queen Anne Stakes, the King’s Stand Stakes and the St James’s Palace Stakes. Wednesday 20 A more carefully paced day but no less exciting, as it includes the Group One Prince of Wales’s Stakes. This is held by lots of to be Royal Ascot’s essential race of the modern era: the wealthiest race of the whole meeting with a purse of ₤ 750,000. And where better to view it than in the Queen Anne Enclosure? Not as formal however just as beautifully composed as the members-only Royal Enclosure– no top hats and tails required– this enclosure uses the best and up-close views of the spectacular horses, both in the Pre-Parade Ring and the Parade Ring. With Wednesday being a slightly calmer day, perhaps seek out the numerous sculpture installations spread around the racecourse, some long-term and illustrating previous stars of Ascot in their most royal states while others feature exclusively for the royal conference. Entertainment is universal at Royal Ascot with every day waning around the renowned bandstand, located in the Queen Anne Enclosure, for triumphant and generally British communal singing at 6pm. Thursday 21 One of Royal Ascot’s endearing eccentricities is that Thursday is not officially called Ladies’ Day but Gold Cup Day. However this is undoubtedly the day when all eyes are concentrated on the hats, and both conventional and contemporary displays of splendid millinery are most on show. Queen Anne Enclosure visitors can flaunt their headwear while enjoying a grilled lobster or champagne afternoon tea at 1768 Grill and Tea Rooms. A best Royal Ascot experience to enhance your wedding, this dining establishment was among a number of outlets presented in 2017 to use racegoers an option for lunch and afternoon tea that does not need reservation ahead of time.

Gold Cup Day is also when Ascot’s most distinguished race is run– constantly a source of high drama as it unfolds over two and a half miles. You can get a fresh viewpoint on this by viewing from Royal Ascot’s newest enclosure, The Village, which is open from Thursday to Saturday. Found on the within the track, with the Grandstand offering a background to the day, the Town Enclosure has already ended up being popular with a more youthful, fashion-conscious group of racegoers trying to find a contemporary Royal Ascot experience. 3 stages provide a range of music all day and, once the racing finishes, the live entertainment continues until 9pm with a varied collection of shop restaurants and champagne bars to keep the party going and create an imagine a summer night. Friday 22 The racing stays of the highest quality all week with Friday peaking again as viewers witness two Group One races– The Commonwealth Cup and The Coronation Stakes. As the weekend nears, racegoers can delight in the marvelous environment in the Queen Anne Enclosure and sample from the most splendid variety of food and beverage with a last-minute dining experience at James Tanner’s Queen Anne Kitchen area or by indulging in a Royal Ascot Blush Mixed drink from among the essential bars located in the area. There are numerous craftsmen food stalls and champagne bars in The Village and Windsor Enclosures, but similarly numerous visitors take pleasure in bringing their own picnics. There are, however, certain limitations that apply and the only alcohol that guests might bring with them is sparkling wine or champagne (and a maximum of one bottle per person). Saturday 23 There is no stopping the amazing racing and the final day is no exception. Its format is a recognisable six-race card staged in between 2.30 pm and 5.35 pm. Saturday’s emphasize is certainly The Diamond Jubilee Stakes. Its size of field and fierce speed provide a thrilling race for all and contribute to the finale of the five-day yearly occasion. Saturday is also a fantastic day for kids to experience the special Ascot Events environment and excitement. Kid’s tickets can only be bought on the day, with all cash going to Ascot’s yearly charitable providing.

Scheduling ahead is recommended if you are thinking about a great dining experience in the Royal Enclosure or Queen Anne Enclosure, with numerous dining establishments currently sold out across all the times.

What is Ascot ladies day?

The world’s most attractive race day. Ladies Day at Royal Ascot is renowned as the greatest day on the British social and sporting calendar. It is worth keeping in mind that many days across the 4 enclosures sell out well in advance. So plan early– and take pleasure in. Whatever day you select, Royal Ascot actually is like no place else. Each day provides a various experience but always with the very same style and elegance that the racecourse is renowned for. Outstanding racing, exhilarating home entertainment, stunning food and sartorial beauty can constantly be anticipated. Be sure to check the official dress code for your enclosure prior to you go, take a look at possible upgrades you can pick to boost the occasion and prepare yourself for one of the most glorious days in the British social– and horse racing– calendar. The Royal Ascot certainly measures up to its main motto,“ Like no place else.” A significant event on the British social calendar considering that its founding by Queen Anne in 1711, the yearly race meeting, which happens each June at the Ascot Racecourse in Berkshire, England, remains a heady mix of pomp, custom, style, class difference and, obviously, sport. Formally opened each day by the Queen, in addition to various royals, the most apt way to describe the experience to Americans would be to envision a cross in between a royal wedding event and the Kentucky Derby, except boozier, if that’s humanly possible (via champagne rather than bourbon). Though each of the 5 days has its highlights, Opening Day remains special simply because it draws in a full complement of royals while also restricting admission to the Royal Enclosure, the most distinguished level of presence, to members just. How does one become a member of this swank pack? The response is purposely left vague, involving a secret recipe of social stature, connections, letters of reference, and, above all, ambition. On the staying four days, members are allowed to acquire two guest badges each per day. Ascot Opening Day was celebrated by the Lerner and Loewe musical, “My Fair Lady,” which opened on Broadway in 1956 starring Rex Harrison and Julie Andrews, and later on made into a big-budget Hollywood extravaganza, again with Rex Harrison but with Audrey Hepburn changing Andrews. (It’s running yet once again this season on Broadway at Lincoln Center Theater.).

Both the stage production and the movie featured spectacular representations of Royal Ascot with sets and outfits by Cecil Beaton, the renowned professional photographer, designer, diarist and royal elbow-rubber. Extremely developed in black and white, the number, particularly in the film variation, almost stands on its own as a pill of choreography and couture. Today, Ascot Opening Day is a far less mannerist affair, however similarly fashion-aligned. In the rarified air of the Royal Enclosure, custom reigns supreme in all manners of gown throughout the five-day period. Guys are required to use a complete morning match with waistcoat and either a black or grey stovepipe hat at all times. Just black shoes are enabled and in an affront to the present style for bare ankles, socks are obligatory. Just in 2015, for the very very first time in Ascot’s history, when the temperature soared into the 90s, were guys allowed to remove their coats and hats. Otherwise, hats must stay on heads except within a dining establishment, a private box, an enclosed balcony, and a few other designated locations. Ladies should wear a hat with a minimum base of 4 inches (i.e. no fascinators) and dresses with a modest cut. Trousers and jumpsuits are enabled, but again with a caveat: pants must be worn with a coat or top “in a coordinating material.” There is a wide range of elegant to cheeky, however Brits do the “garden celebration” look rather well, with a mix of intense colors, floral prints and the recent appearance of long, flowing gowns that clearly take their treatments from the younger members of the Royal Family.

How long does Royal Ascot last?

Over 300,000 individuals make the annual see to Berkshire throughout Royal Ascot week, making this Europe’s best-attended race conference. There are eighteen group races on offer, with at least one Group One event on each of the 5 days. Beyond the Royal Enclosure, each area has its own set of sartorial standards. If the Royal Enclosure is First Class, Company Class would be the Queen Anne Enclosure. There, males must use a match and tie and women are asked to use stylish dresses and a hat. Premium Economy would be The Village Enclosure, with the exact same gown code as the Queen Anne Enclosure. The Windsor Enclosure is the most unwinded, with no dress code at all. The main site says “vibrant, exciting and enjoyable” which translates to celebration main, sometimes rather rowdy. Certainly, every level of Royal Ascot Ladies Day is celebration hearty, regardless of whether fueled by Bollinger, Pimm’s, or Guinness. The numbers speak volumes. Throughout 5 days, 300,000 participants will have consumed 56,000 bottles of champagne, 44,000 bottles of red wine, 21,000 jugs of Pimm’s and 60,000 finger sandwiches. For those who do not imbibe, fear not. Likewise taken in are 80,000 cups of tea and 128,500 bottles of mineral water.

No matter which area one remains in or what is in one’s glass, the mood is distinctly resilient, sparked by the arrival of the Queen and different members of her household in a line of horse drawn carriages. This year, as usual, the Royal Procession entered the park through the Royal Gates noticeable to all off in the distance. The closer the carriages got to the stands, the louder the buzz from the crowd. Concurrently, the Band of Her Majesty’s Irish Guards marched into place to play the nationwide anthem, “God Save the Queen.” Thousands of top hats were removed en masse and the crowd sang, followed by spontaneous applause and cheers that turned into a cacophony as the Queen’s carriage passed, accompanied by continuously “Hip, Hip, Hoorays!” Resplendent in a jonquil yellow coat and hat, she was accompanied by her son, Andrew, child Anne, and Lord Vestey, Master of the Horse to the Royal Household. Next came Prince Charles with Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall and the Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie. However the loudest cheers this go round were for the occupants of the 3rd carriage, Prince Harry and his new bride-to-be Meghan with Prince Edward and his partner, Sophie. Following the royal arrival, just like halftime at a football game, there’s a mad rush for the bars and the toilets. However instead of beers and brats, it’s Bollinger and lobster rolls. Yes, there are a couple of thrilling horse races, accompanied by an incredible amount of drinking. But the genuine program is in the garden of the Royal Enclosure, which becomes one big party, and, naturally, the Royal Box, which hovers over the stands like the bridge of a huge ocean liner. One can quickly see the comings and goings through its set of double doors, with riding crop manages, from a number of viewpoint within the clubhouse, which feels exactly like a mall, although it has bars and wagering stations instead of stores. One can apparently make a bet basically anywhere. In addition to the fixed desks, there are mobile kiosks scattered inside the clubhouse and throughout the park. One can even place a bet, albeit prior to 2 p.m. on what color the Queen will wear. (In 2015, I won ₤ 15 on pink.) And if one remains in the best location at the correct time, the doors to the Royal Box will swing open and a tiny little figure in a brilliantly colored coat and hat will emerge, and stroll unaccompanied to the parade ring to present a trophy, sometimes several times a day. This is why one participates in Royal Ascot 2019: to witness firsthand the gravitas, the magnificence, the adulation and a little the isolation that accompanies what the current resident of Buckingham Palace refers to, sometimes wearily, “this task for life.” It’s a thrilling and unusually moving thing to see. After all, who requires to binge watch The Crown when one can simply binge watch the Queen?

Seven Amazing Details About Ladies Day published first on https://the4th3rd.tumblr.com

[pilferingtheheavens-blog]

6 Spectacular Details About Royal Ascot Ladies Day

The Ladies Day horse race is entering its third day, with all eyes on the extravagant hats, attractive outfits, naturally, the royals. Day Three of the five-day event is also the day of the historic Gold Cup. The Gold Cup is Ascot's longest surviving race, and what is now referred to as Royal Ascot started to take shape when The Gold Cup was first run in 1807. The Gold Cup accompanies what is informally called "Ladies' Day," a term first used in 1823. An anonymous poet described the day as "Ladies' Day ... when the ladies, like angels, look sweetly divine." But the Ascot doesn't officially recognize the day as Ladies' Day. As the Ascot's director of racing, Nick Smith, explained to The Telegraph, they have not described Ladies' Day in any marketing or promos materials. "We are comfortable with the public calling it that, however to market it as such would trigger confusion as ladies' days away from Royal Ascot Ladies Day are entirely various," he said. "We do not have actually finest dressed competitions-- for either sex-- and we do not think catwalks and such like is what it is about."

What is the Royal Ascot?

One of Britain's most well-known racecourses, Ascot holds an unique week of races in June each year called Royal Ascot, went to by The Queen and other Royals At other horse races in the U.K., Ladies' Days are synonymous with fashion competitions. At the Kelso Racecourse, which stages fifteen dives fixtures during the season from September through Might, there are competitions for classifications such as Finest Dressed Lady, Finest Dressed Couple, and Finest Hat. While there are no competitors at Ascot, according to The Night Standard, women still take care to dress in an extra glamorous search Ladies' Day to commemorate. Princess Eugenie wore a stunning floral-print Erdem dress teamed with a boater hat, while vocalist Ciara chose a chic white Edeline Lee dress. Royal Ascot's spectacular heritage, unlike any other, has actually made the event the most expected and revered the world over. From the arrival of the Royal Procession at 2pm sharp to common singing around the bandstand, with 6 outstanding top-class races between, each of the five days is unforgettable.

It's a social highlight of the summer, not just for the racing and royalty but also because of the style, design and breadth of entertainment on offer. A choice of four enclosures, each with a private character and various food and drink choices, allow you to curate your own genuinely special event. From unique street food, gourmet hamburgers and timeless afternoon tea to bring-your-own picnics on the spotless lawns and dining from Michelin-starred chefs, the options for a splendid food experience alone are endless. It's a chance to dress up and enjoy yourself while trying to break bookmakers' hearts. To experience it to its maximum, a little preparation will pay huge dividends. Tuesday 19 If you're seeking to experience Ascot UK at its most regal, the opening day is a must. When the clock strikes two the Royal Procession begins and the landaus, led by 4 Windsor greys, make their way along the Straight Mile, enacting a British custom that extends back to when Queen Victoria was a woman. There is no equivalent event in the racing calendar or indeed the sporting world and, while the spectacle is duplicated every day of the meeting, Royal Ascot's opening day is justifiably renowned as spectacular.

For flat racing fans too, this is a day not to miss. 3 Group One races-- the sport's greatest category, with the greatest prize money and the very best horses-- are run: the Queen Anne Stakes, the King's Stand Stakes and the St James's Palace Stakes. Wednesday 20 A more carefully paced day but no less interesting, as it consists of the Group One Prince of Wales's Stakes. This is held by many to be Royal Ascot's crucial race of the contemporary age: the wealthiest race of the whole meeting with a purse of ₤ 750,000. And where better to watch it than in the Queen Anne Enclosure? Not as official however just as magnificently made up as the members-only Royal Enclosure-- no stovepipe hats and tails needed-- this enclosure provides the ideal and up-close views of the stunning horses, both in the Pre-Parade Ring and the Parade Ring. With Wednesday being a somewhat calmer day, perhaps seek out the numerous sculpture setups scattered around the racecourse, some long-term and portraying previous stars of Ascot in their most regal states while others feature specifically for the royal conference. Entertainment is universal at Royal Ascot with each day drawing to a close around the renowned bandstand, located in the Queen Anne Enclosure, for triumphant and typically British communal singing at 6pm. Thursday 21 One of Royal Ascot's charming eccentricities is that Thursday is not formally called Ladies' Day but Gold Cup Day. However this is undoubtedly the day when all eyes are focused on the hats, and both conventional and contemporary display screens of magnificent millinery are most on program. Queen Anne Enclosure guests can display their headwear while enjoying a grilled lobster or champagne afternoon tea at 1768 Grill and Tea Rooms. A best Ascot experience to enhance your big day, this restaurant was one of a number of outlets introduced in 2017 to offer racegoers an alternative for lunch and afternoon tea that does not need booking in advance.

Gold Cup Day is likewise when Ascot's a lot of distinguished race is run-- always a source of high drama as it unfolds over two and a half miles. You can get a fresh viewpoint on this by enjoying from Royal Ascot's most recent enclosure, The Village, which is open from Thursday to Saturday. Found on the inside of the track, with the Grandstand supplying a background to the day, the Village Enclosure has actually already ended up being popular with a more youthful, fashion-conscious group of racegoers trying to find a contemporary Royal Ascot experience. 3 stages use a range of music all the time and, once the racing finishes, the live entertainment continues until 9pm with a diverse collection of store restaurants and champagne bars to keep the party going and produce a dream of a midsummer night. Friday 22 The racing remains of the highest quality all week with Friday peaking once more as viewers witness 2 Group One races-- The Commonwealth Cup and The Crowning Stakes. As the weekend nears, racegoers can delight in the marvelous atmosphere in the Queen Anne Enclosure and sample from the most splendid series of food and drink with a last-minute dining experience at James Tanner's Queen Anne Cooking area or by delighting in a Royal Ascot Blush Mixed drink from one of the ultimate bars found in the location. There are numerous artisan food stalls and champagne bars in The Village and Windsor Enclosures, but equally many guests enjoy bringing their own picnics. There are, however, certain restrictions that use and the only alcohol that visitors may bring with them is sparkling wine or champagne (and a maximum of one bottle per person). Saturday 23 There is no stopping the incredible racing and the final day is no exception. Its format is a recognisable six-race card staged between 2.30 pm and 5.35 pm. Saturday's emphasize is undoubtedly The Diamond Jubilee Stakes. Its size of field and strong pace provide a thrilling race for all and contribute to the finale of the five-day annual event. Saturday is also a fantastic day for children to experience the special Ascot Events environment and excitement. Children's tickets can only be purchased on the day, with all money going to Ascot's yearly charitable providing.

Reserving ahead is recommended if you are considering a great dining experience in the Royal Enclosure or Queen Anne Enclosure, with several restaurants currently sold out across all days.

What is Ascot ladies day?

The world's most attractive race day. Ladies Day at Royal Ascot is renowned as the greatest day on the British social and sporting calendar. It deserves bearing in mind that numerous days across the 4 enclosures sell out well ahead of time. So plan early-- and take pleasure in. Whatever day you pick, Ladies Day actually resembles nowhere else. Each day uses a different experience however constantly with the same style and sophistication that the racecourse is renowned for. Exceptional racing, exciting entertainment, splendid food and sartorial elegance can constantly be expected. Make certain to inspect the official dress code for your enclosure before you go, take a look at possible upgrades you can pick to improve the celebration and prepare yourself for among the most wonderful days in the British social-- and horse racing-- calendar. The Royal Ascot certainly lives up to its official slogan," Like nowhere else." A significant event on the British social calendar given that its founding by Queen Anne in 1711, the yearly race meeting, which occurs each June at the Ascot Racecourse in Berkshire, England, remains a heady mix of pomp, custom, fashion, class distinction and, obviously, sport. Formally opened each day by the Queen, in addition to various royals, the most apt method to describe the experience to Americans would be to think of a cross in between a royal wedding event and the Kentucky Derby, except boozier, if that's humanly possible (by means of champagne rather than bourbon). Though each of the five days has its highlights, Opening Day remains special just since it draws in a complete enhance of royals while likewise limiting admission to the Royal Enclosure, the most distinguished level of participation, to members just. How does one end up being a member of this classy pack? The response is intentionally left unclear, including a secret dish of social stature, connections, letters of reference, and, above all, aspiration. On the staying 4 days, members are allowed to purchase two guest badges each each day. Ascot Opening Day was immortalized by the Lerner and Loewe musical, "My Fair Lady," which opened on Broadway in 1956 starring Rex Harrison and Julie Andrews, and later on made into a big-budget Hollywood extravaganza, once again with Rex Harrison but with Audrey Hepburn replacing Andrews. (It's running yet again this season on Broadway at Lincoln Center Theater.).

Both the stage production and the film included spectacular depictions of Royal Ascot with sets and outfits by Cecil Beaton, the renowned professional photographer, designer, diarist and royal elbow-rubber. Extremely created in black and white, the number, especially in the movie variation, virtually stands on its own as a capsule of choreography and couture. Today, Ascot Opening Day is a far less mannerist affair, but similarly fashion-aligned. In the rarified air of the Royal Enclosure, tradition reigns supreme in all manners of gown throughout the five-day duration. Males are required to use a complete early morning fit with waistcoat and either a black or grey stovepipe hat at all times. Just black shoes are enabled and in an affront to the current style for bare ankles, socks are mandatory. Just in 2015, for the really very first time in Ascot's history, when the temperature level soared into the 90s, were guys permitted to eliminate their coats and hats. Otherwise, hats must stay on heads except within a dining establishment, a private box, an enclosed balcony, and a few other designated areas. Ladies should wear a hat with a minimum base of four inches (i.e. no fascinators) and dresses with a modest cut. Trousers and jumpsuits are permitted, but once again with a caution: pants must be used with a coat or top "in a coordinating fabric." There is a large range of stylish to saucy, but Brits do the "garden party" look quite well, with a mix of bright colors, floral prints and the recent appearance of long, streaming gowns that undoubtedly take their remedies from the younger members of the Royal Household.

How long does Royal Ascot last?

Over 300,000 people make the annual visit to Berkshire during Royal Ascot week, making this Europe's best-attended race meeting. There are eighteen group races on offer, with a minimum of one Group One event on each of the 5 days. Beyond the Royal Enclosure, each area has its own set of sartorial standards. If the Royal Enclosure is First Class, Business Class would be the Queen Anne Enclosure. There, guys need to use a fit and tie and ladies are asked to wear stylish gowns and a hat. Premium Economy would be The Village Enclosure, with the exact same gown code as the Queen Anne Enclosure. The Windsor Enclosure is the most unwinded, without any gown code at all. The main website says "vibrant, amazing and enjoyable" which translates to celebration main, in some cases rather rowdy. Undoubtedly, every level of Royal Ascot 2019 is party hearty, no matter whether fueled by Bollinger, Pimm's, or Guinness. The numbers speak volumes. Throughout 5 days, 300,000 guests will have taken in 56,000 bottles of champagne, 44,000 bottles of red wine, 21,000 containers of Pimm's and 60,000 finger sandwiches. For those who do not imbibe, fear not. Also taken in are 80,000 cups of tea and 128,500 bottles of mineral water.

No matter which section one is in or what is in one's glass, the mood is decidedly resilient, sparked by the arrival of the Queen and various members of her household in a line of horse drawn carriages. This year, as usual, the Royal Procession entered the park through the Royal Gates visible to all off in the distance. The closer the carriages got to the stands, the louder the buzz from the crowd. Simultaneously, the Band of Her Majesty's Irish Guards marched into location to play the nationwide anthem, "God Conserve the Queen." Thousands of top hats were eliminated en masse and the crowd sang, followed by spontaneous applause and cheers that turned into a cacophony as the Queen's carriage passed, accompanied by continuously "Hip, Hip, Hoorays!" Resplendent in a jonquil yellow coat and hat, she was accompanied by her boy, Andrew, child Anne, and Lord Vestey, Master of the Horse to the Royal Household. Next came Prince Charles with Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall and the Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie. But the loudest cheers this go round were for the occupants of the 3rd carriage, Prince Harry and his brand-new bride-to-be Meghan with Prince Edward and his other half, Sophie. Following the royal arrival, just like halftime at a football game, there's a mad rush for the bars and the restrooms. But instead of beers and brats, it's Bollinger and lobster rolls. Yes, there are a few exhilarating horse races, accompanied by a tremendous quantity of drinking. However the real show remains in the garden of the Royal Enclosure, which develops into one huge party, and, obviously, the Royal Box, which hovers over the stands like the bridge of a massive ocean liner. One can easily see the comings and goings through its set of double doors, with riding crop deals with, from a number of vantage points within the clubhouse, which feels exactly like a mall, although it has bars and betting stations instead of boutiques. One can relatively make a bet practically anywhere. In addition to the stationary desks, there are mobile kiosks spread inside the clubhouse and throughout the park. One can even put a bet, albeit prior to 2 p.m. on what color the Queen will wear. (Last year, I won ₤ 15 on pink.) And if one is in the best location at the correct time, the doors to the Royal Box will swing open and a small little figure in a brightly colored coat and hat will emerge, and walk unaccompanied to the parade ring to provide a trophy, often numerous times a day. This is why one attends Royal Ascot 2019: to witness firsthand the gravitas, the splendour, the adulation and a little the isolation that accompanies what the existing occupant of Buckingham Palace describes, at times wearily, "this job for life." It's a thrilling and strangely moving thing to see. After all, who requires to binge watch The Crown when one can just binge enjoy the Queen?

[rosaginas]

Fifteen Spectacular Facts About Ascot UK

The Ladies Day horse race is entering its third day, with all eyes on the extravagant hats, glamorous outfits, naturally, the royals. Day Three of the five-day event is also the day of the historic Gold Cup. The Gold Cup is Ascot's longest surviving race, and what is now referred to as Royal Ascot began to take shape when The Gold Cup was first run in 1807. The Gold Cup coincides with what is informally referred to as "Ladies' Day," a term initially utilized in 1823. A confidential poet described the day as "Ladies' Day ... when the women, like angels, look sweetly magnificent." However the Ascot doesn't officially recognize the day as Ladies' Day. As the Ascot's director of racing, Nick Smith, described to The Telegraph, they haven't referred to Ladies' Day in any marketing or promotions materials. "We are comfortable with the public calling it that, but to market it as such would trigger confusion as ladies' days far from Ascot UK are totally different," he stated. "We do not have finest dressed competitions-- for either sex-- and we don't believe catwalks and such like is what it has to do with."

What is the Royal Ascot?

Among Britain's many well-known racecourses, Ascot holds a special week of races in June each year called Royal Ascot, participated in by The Queen and other Royals At other horse races in the U.K., Ladies' Days are associated with fashion competitors. At the Kelso Racecourse, which phases fifteen dives components throughout the season from September through May, there are competitors for classifications such as Finest Dressed Lady, Best Dressed Couple, and Finest Hat. While there are no competitions at Ascot, according to The Night Standard, women still make sure to dress in an additional attractive search Ladies' Day to celebrate. Princess Eugenie wore a beautiful floral-print Erdem dress teamed with a boater hat, while vocalist Ciara went with a stylish white Edeline Lee gown. Royal Ascot's incredible heritage, unlike any other, has actually made the event the most expected and revered the world over. From the arrival of the Royal Procession at 2pm sharp to common singing around the bandstand, with six impressive top-class races between, each of the five days is unforgettable.

It's a social emphasize of the summer, not just for the racing and royalty but likewise because of the style, style and breadth of home entertainment on offer. An option of 4 enclosures, each with a specific character and many food and drink options, allow you to curate your own genuinely special occasion. From exotic street food, premium hamburgers and classic afternoon tea to bring-your-own picnics on the spotless yards and dining from Michelin-starred chefs, the choices for an exquisite food experience alone are endless. It's a chance to dress up and enjoy yourself while trying to break bookmakers' hearts. To experience it to its maximum, a little preparation will pay big dividends. Tuesday 19 If you're seeking to experience Royal Ascot at its most regal, the opening day is a must. When the clock strikes 2 the Royal Procession starts and the landaus, led by four Windsor greys, make their method along the Straight Mile, enacting a British tradition that stretches back to when Queen Victoria was a girl. There is no equivalent event in the racing calendar or indeed the sporting world and, while the spectacle is repeated every day of the conference, Royal Ascot's opening day is justifiably renowned as spectacular.

For flat racing fans too, this is a day not to miss out on. Three Group One races-- the sport's highest classification, with the greatest cash prize and the very best horses-- are run: the Queen Anne Stakes, the King's Stand Stakes and the St James's Palace Stakes. Wednesday 20 A more carefully paced day however no less interesting, as it includes the Group One Prince of Wales's Stakes. This is held by lots of to be Royal Ascot's crucial race of the contemporary era: the richest race of the whole meeting with a bag of ₤ 750,000. And where better to view it than in the Queen Anne Enclosure? Not as official but just as magnificently composed as the members-only Royal Enclosure-- no stovepipe hats and tails required-- this enclosure uses the ideal and up-close views of the sensational horses, both in the Pre-Parade Ring and the Parade Ring. With Wednesday being a somewhat calmer day, perhaps look for the different sculpture setups scattered around the racecourse, some permanent and depicting past stars of Ascot in their most royal states while others include solely for the royal conference. Entertainment is universal at Royal Ascot with every day drawing to a close around the iconic bandstand, located in the Queen Anne Enclosure, for victorious and generally British common singing at 6pm. Thursday 21 Among Royal Ascot's endearing eccentricities is that Thursday is not formally called Ladies' Day but Gold Cup Day. But this is unquestionably the day when all eyes are focused on the hats, and both traditional and modern display screens of spectacular millinery are most on show. Queen Anne Enclosure visitors can display their headwear while taking pleasure in a grilled lobster or champagne afternoon tea at 1768 Grill and Tea Rooms. A perfect Royal Ascot 2019 experience to boost your special day, this restaurant was one of several outlets introduced in 2017 to use racegoers an alternative for lunch and afternoon tea that does not need booking in advance.

Gold Cup Day is likewise when Ascot's the majority of prestigious race is run-- constantly a source of high drama as it unfolds over two and a half miles. You can get a fresh perspective on this by watching from Royal Ascot's newest enclosure, The Town, which is open from Thursday to Saturday. Found on the inside of the track, with the Grandstand providing a background to the day, the Town Enclosure has currently ended up being popular with a more youthful, fashion-conscious group of racegoers looking for a modern Royal Ascot experience. Three stages use a series of music throughout the day and, once the racing finishes, the live entertainment continues till 9pm with a diverse collection of shop restaurants and champagne bars to keep the party going and develop an imagine a midsummer night. Friday 22 The racing remains of the highest quality all week with Friday peaking again as spectators witness two Group One races-- The Commonwealth Cup and The Crowning Stakes. As the weekend nears, racegoers can delight in the marvelous environment in the Queen Anne Enclosure and sample from the most superb series of food and drink with a last-minute dining experience at James Tanner's Queen Anne Cooking area or by indulging in a Royal Ascot Blush Mixed drink from one of the quintessential bars located in the area. There are numerous craftsmen food stalls and champagne bars in The Town and Windsor Enclosures, however equally lots of visitors delight in bringing their own picnics. There are, nevertheless, certain limitations that use and the only alcohol that visitors may bring with them is sparkling wine or champagne (and an optimum of one bottle per person). Saturday 23 There is no stopping the spectacular racing and the final day is no exception. Its format is a recognisable six-race card staged between 2.30 pm and 5.35 pm. Saturday's emphasize is undoubtedly The Diamond Jubilee Stakes. Its size of field and fierce pace provide a thrilling race for all and add to the finale of the five-day annual event. Saturday is also a terrific day for kids to experience the special Ascot Events environment and enjoyment. Children's tickets can just be bought on the day, with all money going to Ascot's yearly charitable providing.

Reserving ahead is recommended if you are considering a fine dining experience in the Royal Enclosure or Queen Anne Enclosure, with a number of dining establishments already sold out across all days.

What is Ascot ladies day?

The world's most attractive race day. Ladies Day at Royal Ascot is renowned as the most significant day on the British social and sporting calendar. It is worth bearing in mind that many days across the four enclosures sell out well in advance. So plan early-- and delight in. Whatever day you select, Ascot UK truly resembles no place else. Each day provides a different experience but always with the exact same design and elegance that the racecourse is renowned for. Impressive racing, thrilling home entertainment, spectacular food and sartorial elegance can constantly be expected. Make sure to examine the main gown code for your enclosure prior to you go, look at possible upgrades you can select to improve the event and prepare yourself for one of the most remarkable days in the British social-- and horse racing-- calendar. The Royal Ascot definitely measures up to its main motto," Like no place else." A significant event on the British social calendar considering that its founding by Queen Anne in 1711, the annual race conference, which takes place each June at the Ascot Racecourse in Berkshire, England, stays a heady mix of pomp, tradition, fashion, class distinction and, of course, sport. Formally opened each day by the Queen, along with assorted royals, the most apt method to describe the experience to Americans would be to imagine a cross between a royal wedding event and the Kentucky Derby, other than boozier, if that's humanly possible (by means of champagne instead of bourbon). Though each of the five days has its highlights, Opening Day remains unique merely due to the fact that it brings in a complete complement of royals while also limiting admission to the Royal Enclosure, the most prestigious level of presence, to members only. How does one end up being a member of this classy pack? The answer is intentionally left vague, involving a secret dish of social stature, connections, letters of reference, and, above all, ambition. On the staying four days, members are allowed to buy 2 guest badges each daily. Ascot Opening Day was celebrated by the Lerner and Loewe musical, "My Fair Lady," which opened on Broadway in 1956 starring Rex Harrison and Julie Andrews, and later made into a big-budget Hollywood extravaganza, once again with Rex Harrison however with Audrey Hepburn replacing Andrews. (It's running yet once again this season on Broadway at Lincoln Center Theater.).

Both the stage production and the film featured spectacular representations of Royal Ascot with sets and outfits by Cecil Beaton, the iconic photographer, designer, diarist and royal elbow-rubber. Extremely developed in black and white, the number, specifically in the film version, virtually bases on its own as a pill of choreography and couture. Today, Ascot Opening Day is a far less mannerist affair, but equally fashion-aligned. In the rarified air of the Royal Enclosure, custom reigns supreme in all manners of dress throughout the five-day period. Males are required to wear a full early morning fit with waistcoat and either a black or grey stovepipe hat at all times. Only black shoes are enabled and in an affront to the existing style for bare ankles, socks are mandatory. Only in 2015, for the really very first time in Ascot Events's history, when the temperature skyrocketed into the 90s, were guys enabled to eliminate their coats and hats. Otherwise, hats must remain on heads other than within a restaurant, a private box, an enclosed terrace, and a few other designated locations. Ladies should use a hat with a minimum base of 4 inches (i.e. no fascinators) and dresses with a modest cut. Pants and one-piece suits are enabled, but once again with a caution: pants need to be worn with a jacket or leading "in a coordinating fabric." There is a large range of elegant to cheeky, however Brits do the "garden party" look quite well, with a mix of brilliant colors, flower prints and the current look of long, streaming gowns that obviously take their remedies from the younger members of the Royal Family.

How long does Royal Ascot last?

Over 300,000 people make the yearly visit to Berkshire during Royal Ascot week, making this Europe's best-attended race conference. There are eighteen group races on offer, with at least one Group One event on each of the five days. Beyond the Royal Enclosure, each section has its own set of sartorial guidelines. If the Royal Enclosure is First Class, Company Class would be the Queen Anne Enclosure. There, guys should use a suit and tie and females are asked to use classy gowns and a hat. Premium Economy would be The Village Enclosure, with the same dress code as the Queen Anne Enclosure. The Windsor Enclosure is the most unwinded, with no dress code at all. The official website states "lively, amazing and fun" which translates to party main, sometimes rather rowdy. Certainly, every level of Ascot Events is celebration hearty, despite whether sustained by Bollinger, Pimm's, or Guinness. The numbers speak volumes. Throughout five days, 300,000 participants will have consumed 56,000 bottles of champagne, 44,000 bottles of wine, 21,000 containers of Pimm's and 60,000 finger sandwiches. For those who do not imbibe, fear not. Also taken in are 80,000 cups of tea and 128,500 bottles of mineral water.

No matter which area one remains in or what is in one's glass, the mood is decidedly buoyant, fired up by the arrival of the Queen and numerous members of her family in a line of horse drawn carriages. This year, as usual, the Royal Procession went into the park through the Royal Gates visible to all off in the distance. The closer the carriages got to the stands, the louder the buzz from the crowd. Simultaneously, the Band of Her Majesty's Irish Guards marched into place to play the nationwide anthem, "God Conserve the Queen." Thousands of top hats were removed en masse and the crowd sang, followed by spontaneous applause and cheers that grew into a cacophony as the Queen's carriage passed, accompanied by continuously "Hip, Hip, Hoorays!" Resplendent in a jonquil yellow coat and hat, she was accompanied by her child, Andrew, daughter Anne, and Lord Vestey, Master of the Horse to the Royal Household. Next came Prince Charles with Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall and the Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie. However the loudest cheers this go round were for the residents of the third carriage, Prince Harry and his brand-new bride-to-be Meghan with Prince Edward and his partner, Sophie. Following the royal arrival, similar to halftime at a football game, there's a mad rush for the bars and the toilets. But instead of beers and brats, it's Bollinger and lobster rolls. Yes, there are a couple of thrilling horse races, accompanied by a remarkable quantity of drinking. But the real show is in the garden of the Royal Enclosure, which becomes one big party, and, naturally, the Royal Box, which hovers over the stands like the bridge of an enormous ocean liner. One can easily see the comings and goings through its set of double doors, with riding crop handles, from a number of perspective within the clubhouse, which feels precisely like a shopping center, although it has bars and betting stations instead of shops. One can relatively make a bet pretty much anywhere. In addition to the stationary desks, there are mobile kiosks scattered inside the clubhouse and throughout the park. One can even position a bet, albeit prior to 2 p.m. on what color the Queen will use. (Last year, I won ₤ 15 on pink.) And if one remains in the ideal location at the correct time, the doors to the Royal Box will swing open and a small little figure in a brilliantly colored coat and hat will emerge, and stroll unaccompanied to the parade ring to present a trophy, often several times a day. This is why one participates in Ascot UK: to witness firsthand the gravitas, the magnificence, the adulation and a little the seclusion that accompanies what the current occupant of Buckingham Palace refers to, at times wearily, "this task for life." It's a thrilling and oddly moving thing to see. After all, who needs to binge watch The Crown when one can simply binge enjoy the Queen?

[josephlrushing]

Takeaways from Apple’s Annual September Event

2020 has taken away a lot, but perhaps it has given us even more. And with brands like Apple, who tend to do the absolute most when it comes to their keynotes, yesterday was a welcome surprise. As the resident Apple Fanboy for GearDiary, it’s only right that I give my take on things.

So to start of the keynote, our favorite person Tim Cook came on and set the stage and proved Jon Prosser to be a trustworthy source for leaks by immediately letting us know not to expect anything about the iPhone. He probably turned off many people with this, but it was to be expected Apple would do this after weeks of speculation about the production of iPhones JUST beginning. Knowing this, the first five minutes of the conference saved us all a bunch of time between random overused terms like “utterly fantastic,” “Remarkable,” and “trendsetting” you’d typically hear for 4-5 minutes. In the same spirit, I wanted to quickly highlight the essential things and a few that Apple didn’t highlight. Let’s start with the Apple Watch.

Apple Watch

Apple decided to start the keynote by introducing the Apple Watch Series 6. If you have the series 5, you’ll probably end up skipping this altogether because the only real additions are the new Blood Oxygen feature and the ability to monitor your elevation continuously. While this probably would’ve been nice to have all spring and summer for hiking, and certainly could’ve been in Apple Series 5, we know Apple has to save something for the next series. The former is the main highlight of series 6, with Apple explaining it as:

Apple Watch Series 6 expands the health capabilities of previous Apple Watch models with a new feature that conveniently measures the oxygen saturation of the user’s blood, so they can better understand their overall fitness and wellness. Oxygen saturation, or SpO2, represents the percentage of oxygen being carried by red blood cells from the lungs to the rest of the body, and indicates how well this oxygenated blood is being delivered throughout the body.

To compensate for natural variations in the skin and improve accuracy, the Blood Oxygen sensor employs four clusters of green, red, and infrared LEDs, along with the four photodiodes on the back crystal of Apple Watch, to measure light reflected back from blood. Apple Watch then uses an advanced custom algorithm built into the Blood Oxygen app, which is designed to measure blood oxygen between 70 percent and 100 percent. On-demand measurements can be taken while the user is still, and periodic background measurements occur when they are inactive, including during sleep. All data will be visible in the Health app, and the user will be able to track trends over time to see how their blood oxygen level changes.

Aside from that, the Series 6 Apple Watch will include an “enhanced” Always-On Retina display that Apple states is up to 2.5 times brighter than the Series 5, making it easier to see the watch in bright sunlight. I mentioned earlier about the always-on elevation feature, which Apple calls the Always-On Altimeter. It will not only be power-efficient but will allow for small elevation changes above ground level, which is great for not just hiking, but biking, walking, you name it.

The Series 6 comes with a new variety of colors, including Product Red, a striking blue, and even a new graphite color that I’m partial to. They will look great with Apple’s New Braided Solo Loop, or the “normal” solo loop, which essentially is the Apple silicone band you’re used to from Apple, without the additional tabs. It’s a more custom fit watch band with an overly complicated method or trying the band on.

In practice, you have to print out a document that you end up cutting and putting on your wrist to measure the perfect size. I feel like this was one of those missed opportunities for Apple to showcase all of those AR functions that most of us are wowed by, but never actually use that they spend 25 minutes raving about updating ever year. Just a thought.

Aside from Series 6, there’s the Apple Watch SE, which for all intents and purposes, is the replacement for the Apple Watch 4, and ultimately the Apple Watch 5. It has the same modern design, with the fall detection, Emergency SOS, Noise app, and always-in altimeter, but to justify the price, Apple took away the ECG (we can’t all have it all). It will feature all the fitness features, the health functionalities you’d expect from Apple. Essentially the Apple Watch SE is the “entry-level” Apple Watch, and at $279, its a great Christmas gift for a teen or spouse who doesn’t overthink how they’d use the Apple Watch.

Sidenote: One HUGE takeaway for me that I wish Apple would’ve spent more time on is the family aspect of Apple Watch. Without saying too much, they mentioned the ability of family sharing Apple Watch so you can track your children, ping them if need be, and all without the need of the rumored “Airtag.” This was huge for me.

Apple moved on from the Apple Watch to discuss their iPads, which was not a surprise to anyone.

8th Generation iPad

Apple seems to have taken notice of Chromebooks cornering the distance learning market and opted to update their Touch-ID enabled iPad finally. At $329, the new iPad features an A12 Bionic processor that, according to Apple, is six times faster than the best selling Android tablet and Chromebooks. This is interesting because I feel like this is an announcement they could’ve done over the summer; with the number of students returning to school, this would’ve been better represented being a must-have back to school item by the company. Time will tell if this will be a success, but luckily the 8th-gen iPad has a $299 price tag for education purposes and has Apple Pencil and Smart Keyboard compatibility.

iPad Air

Okay, I have to admit, as an iPad Pro user, the iPad Air was something I had my eyes on immediately. Featuring a 10.9-inch “Liquid Retina display” True Tone Technology, P3 wide color, and an antireflective coating. The biggest takeaway here, though, is instead of offering FaceId, the iPad Air includes Touch ID directly from the Power Button, which in my honest opinion, should have always been a thing and will more than likely happen with the iPhone 12 (hopefully). With a resolution of 2360 x 1640 complete with full lamination, it has me looking at my 2018 iPad Pro skeptically. What’s more, it works with the Magic Keyboard and the second-gen Apple Pencil, and it costs $599 to start.

Aside from the hardware, Apple shined by announcing two more announcements: Apple Fitness+ and the Apple One Bundle.

Both arriving later this year, Fitness+ by Apple incorporates metrics from the Apple Watch for users to visualize directly to their iPhone, iPad, or Apple TV. Pretty much a head-on competitor for many fitness apps, I felt this to be a direct shot at Peloton, who recently released their new Bike+ that comes complete with Apple Watch functionality. Aside from the ability to properly track biking, Fitness+ does a bit more, regardless if you are a beginner or a gym guru. Complete with World-Class trainers, Fitness+ intelligently suggest new options to match your workouts to keep your routines fresh. And if you’re an Apple Music subscriber, you can fine-tune your workout type, trainer, duration, with your favorite music to save and listen to later. According to Apple:

When a workout is selected and started on iPhone, iPad, or Apple TV, the correct workout type will automatically start on Apple Watch. During the session, the metrics from Apple Watch are shown on the screen and come to life for moments of inspiration. For example, when the trainer says to check heart rate or begins a countdown timer, those numbers will animate on the screen. And for customers who like to push themselves with a little healthy competition, the optional Burn Bar shows how their current effort stacks up against anyone who has done the same workout previously.

The familiar Activity rings from Apple Watch also appear onscreen, highlighting the wearer’s progress and launching an animated celebration as they close. With Activity Sharing, users can enable friends and family to see Fitness+ workouts completed, and workouts can also be shared to their favourite social media channels.

At the launch, Apple Fitness+ will be available in Australia, Canada, Ireland, New Zealand, the UK, and the US for $14.99 a month or $119.99 a year. If you purchase an Apple Watch Series 3 or later on or after 9-16-20, you’ll receive a three-month trial, but everyone else gets a month trial. Alternatively, you can purchase Apple One, which is my favorite part of this keynote.

I told my Twitter followers and our GearDiary group chat that all I wanted from Apple was a bundle of their services, and that’s precisely what they are starting to offer in Apple One.

Starting at $15 a month, Apple One offers three plans: Individual, Family, and Premier. As you can tell from the photo, the Individual is great itself as you get Apple Music, Apple TV+, Apple Arcade, and iCloud storage (50GB). The Family plan version offers the same, but you’ll get 200GB of storage, which is more than enough for some. However, if you’re like me, you’ll want the Premier plan, and there are plenty of reasons why.

At $29.95, not only do you get all four of the items that the individual and Family plans get, but you also get 2TB of storage versus 200GB from the Family plan, Apple News+, and the new Fitness+ (this is the only plan that includes Fitness+, by the way). Alone, the Apple Music Family subscription is $14.99, and iCloud storage is $9.99. So being able to have everything at your disposal for a bundled price ends up saving you money in the long run. According to Apple, the Premiere plan will save you roughly $25 for all six services instead of buying them separately. I just canceled Dropbox because I now have 2TB from Apple for less money than Dropbox’s $20 a month tier, with more benefits, including workouts, news, and even a streaming service.

Overall I think Apple is still heading in the right direction, and the Apple One bundle is the most significant step they’ve taken in a long time. I’m hoping that their competition and other services will begin bundling their products to make them look more appealing to consumers, but only time will tell (Looking at you, DirecTV Now).

You can watch a recap of the Apple event here. 

How did you feel about Apple’s keynote? Do you intend to purchase an Apple Watch or iPad on release day (September 16th)? Will you be buying in on Apple One or Apple Fitness+? Let us know in the comments!

The post Takeaways from Apple’s Annual September Event first appeared on GearDiary.

from Joseph Rushing https://geardiary.com/2020/09/16/takeaways-from-apples-annual-september-event/