#the uchiha bloodline ends here

[tournamentcorner]

ROUND 2: Mishapocalypse VS. Weird RPs VS. Dicked down again :/

Links to the OG Posts or an explaination/example:

Mishapocalypse

Weird RPs (This one represents all of them)

Dicked down again :/

[kurokawaia]

DAY TWENTY FIVE - CORRUPTION 彡 Madara Uchiha

WARNINGS :: corruption, virginity taking, discrimination, breeding, size kink, madara is mean, degradation, x fem reader, restraining (using hands), prone bone, slight choking? afab, she/her terms, reader is timid / shy / scared / inferior / shorter than madara, CNC, Old ideologies regarding birth! + more

| WC :: 3.7k+ | MDNI | 18+ | kinkmas m.list

It was a reletively public wedding, so the entire village could see the bond growing further between the Senju and the Uchiha. All the villagers thought that it was a beautiful love story, one were the two of you fell for each other despite being from enemy clans. But how could they be so wrong, it was nothing of the sort.

It was an arranged marriage. 

This was the elder's decision, thinking that it would be a more secure way to confirm that the Uchiha would not fight back in the further future. The decision was made for the protection of Konoha and being Hashirama and Tobirama's timid, innocent little sister, you couldn't object.

It's your first night within the Uchiha estate, specifically Madara's. You stand in silence biting your bottom lip, in which the red lipstick that was previously there at been removed. Not only by the rigid kiss the two of you shared at the wedding but because of you nibbling on the flesh.

Your hands grip the primarily white kakeshita, you don't know what to do, Madara isn't in the room with you right now and you are too scared to do anything. You were a Senju, but now you are an Uchiha, bounded by those ridiculous ceremonies, paperwork and those vows.  Startled, you jump slightly at the creak the door makes as Madara slides it open, stepping into the room. His eyes trail up on to you, previously analysing every part of your body. YOu could feel it, it is so strong, the scrutiny in his gaze, the judgment.  "It would appear the Senju couldn't even grant me a worthy wife. Just a fragile little thing, aren't you?" Madara scrutinises and a shaky breath leaves your mouth.   Your stomach clenches at the words. Of course, he doesn't hide how much he hates your clan even now that you two have been wed. You feel small under his gaze, and his height. The way he looks at you makes you feel so inferior. 

To Madara, you aren't his wife, you are just a filthy Senju only here to bear his children. 

"I didn't ask for this," you whisper, your voice trembling.  He lets out a low chuckle and closes the space between you. "You think I asked for this? To be tied to the likes of you? A Senju, a weakling, a woman from the enemy's bloodline?" His words cut deep and the tears prick at the back of your eyes. You mean nothing to Madara but a means to an end, nothing more than a tool for him, to bear children, to give him strong children.

Madara moves around you, so now that he is behind you, his chest is almost inches away from your back. "What did your brothers think? That by sending you to me, it would make me forget the blood spilled between us? That I'd forget how your family has tried to crush mine for generations?" He adds. You flinch. Your blood running inside you was a brand of shame in itself, reminding you that no matter how hard you tried, you would never belong here, in his world, the Uchiha world, no matter how equal your clans really are. "You're nothing here," he sneers. "Nothing but a Senju in an Uchiha household. A reminder of everything I despise."

He steps closer, so his hot breath fans across your neck and your back tenses. His hand reaches up, catching your chin in an iron vice as he forces you to meet his gaze. "And now, you're here in— my bed, in my house. But don't let yourself think you'll ever be anything more than a Senju dog." Your heart races in your chest, but you grit your teeth, god, you're so scared. Madara gazes into your eyes. "I will never think of you as a Uchiha," he announces. "You shall never be of us. Our children? Yes. But you? Never." Your chest tightens. You feel yourself start to unravel, piece by piece, under his cold gaze and cruel words. You want to be able to fight back, scream at him, and make him see that you're more than the blood running through your veins. The hate weighing upon you from him crushes you, rendering you mute. The silence is then broken as Madara speaks once more, "Get into bed, it's time you played wife." Your heart sinks, and a wave of dread washes over you. There is no love in that command, no affection. His lips ghost on your neck, below your ear before pulling the sash that held your marriage kimono together before he slips the fabric down your shoulders. Instinctively, when the fabric slips to your elbows, a gasp slips past your lips and you pull your arms to your chest, covering your exposed body. 

"W-Wait," you managed to squeak out, your heart beating furiously, you swear that it was so loud that he could hear it.

You hear the click of his tongue and can feel the roll of his eyes. "What, woman?"

"I've... never... done anything... like this," you say quietly, your hands trembling, holding the fabric tighter to your chest.

"You'll do as I say, dear," he hums, emphasising the last word, almost to mock you. "I wouldn't want to... hurt you." Scared, you nod timidly, still clenching the fabric as you walk towards the futon, your body getting heavier with every step. You only just barely managed to sit on your knees, your weight on the insides of your feet. 

Your gaze was kept tight onto the sheets in front of you. Hearing a light thud hit the floor, you glance up through your mascara-tinted lashes, and you see that the sash holding Madara's wedding attire is on the floor. You can clearly see his abs through the opening of the kimono and his pants had been stripped too, you can clearly see the bulge in his underwear. 

Then, the last of his main attire was pulled off his body and tossed onto the floor, now he is only donned in his underwear, his body bare in front of you. And before you knew it, Madara was kneeling in front of you, tugging the fabric roughly out of your hold. 

Suddenly, the breath from your chest left with a sudden escape of breath as your body fell hard to the futon, Madara's bigger hands restraining your wrists beside your head. Your eyes widen while your lips tremble at the sight of Madara above you, his face so close to yours you could fall apart underneath his gaze. 

Madara closes in, his nose almost touching your own and your breath hitches. "I'm going to ruin you," he hums, moving his head to your shoulder, his lips skimming across your flesh slowly. 

God, you were trembling, you've never felt like this before, this sensation was making you loose your mind. He was being so mean to you, to one of the kindest people in Konoha, making you feel like nothing, and yet, how he made your body feel was something words couldn't explain. 

You were so focused on how he was so close to your neck, that you completely missed how Madara had already slipped down your underwear. His thick fingers pressed against the top of your pussy, so, so, so close to slipping in and hitting your clit.

Your back arches into the touch a breathy gasp falls from your lips and you want to scream in embarrassment. All you wanted to do was to cover your mouth and you couldn't even do that with how Madara was pinning your hands above your head. 

"Fuck, you're sensitive," Madara mumbles to himself, feeling and seeing how you react to such a simple touch, he smirks agasint your neck.

He's going to enjoy this.  

Opening his mouth slightly, he latches onto the dip from your neck and you squirm underneath his imposing touch. His legs spread apart your own, rendering you unable to move. Madara's stature is so big, that you didn't think you would be able to move anyway, considering how his weight was pressing down on you, how his warmth was seeping into you. 

Helpless whimpers leave your mouth as he sucks at your soft skin, leaving marks all over your chest while his fingers still lightly play with your folds, though, they never pushed past, teasing you. 

"Please...." you whimper quietly, pleading into Madara's ear so softly and as much as Madara wanted to hate your voice, it sent shivers down his spine.

"Please what?" he asks in a low tone, lips finally pulling away from your red collarbones. 

Your breathing is ragged, cheeks flushed a pinky-red hue from Madara's touches. "Please... could I have more...?" you question slowly, quietly and Madara smirks at the obvious nervousness in your voice. 

"More?" he teases, pressing his forehead against your own and you gaze into his obsidian eyes which sent electricity down your spine.

You nod small, "...Yes."

A hum comes from his mouth as he pushes his fingers past your folds, two thick fingers pressing against your clit and you moan shamelessly. You want to cover your mouth but can't, your hands are still bound above your head. 

His fingers venture further down, tracing a path along your slick slit. The touch is electrifying, causing you to tremble in his hold, your body responding to his every movement. A whimper escapes your lips, a testament to the overwhelming pleasure that courses through you.

"So wet," Madara hums as he presses his thumb against your clit and you moan, your back arched agasint the futon. Madara frowns to himself knowing that your eyes are screwed shut

At your reply, Madara's fingers experimentally push past your slick folds, his fingers pressing past your clit, and a surge of pleasure courses through you, leaving you breathless and desperate for more. A moan left your mouth as your back arched at his touch. your reaction caused Madara to press down slightly more and your legs squeezed around his waist, moans stringing out your mouth.

You felt his fingers slide down and he found your seeping hols, drenched with arousal. You felt a finger slowly slide inside your heat, a whimper leaving your mouth. As much as Madara hates the Senju's he couldn't help but feel a pang of worry for you, your face contorts into pain after a few seconds so he stops, head tilting.

"W-Wait," you whimper. "Gi- Give me a few seconds."

"Why should I wait for you?" Madara hums, eyes slitting at you.

"Hurts," you replied trying to regulate your breathing.

A tsk left his mouth, "It hurts because you're tense. Relax," he orders and you let your body relax under him, your breathing all controlled. "See? Doesn't hurt as much now doesn't it?"

You shook your head. "Exactly," he adds and he begins to pump his digits in and out your drenched cunt.

"So good," You whimpered as he slowly pumped in and out your soaked walls. 

The sensation is overwhelming, a perfect blend of pleasure and intensity that leaves you unable to contain your moans. You press your lips against his shoulder, muffling the sounds that escape from deep within you. His fingers explore the depths of your core, igniting a fire that consumes your every thought. Each movement, each curl, sends shockwaves of pleasure radiating through your body.

You surrender to the intoxicating rhythm of his touch, the combination of his skilled fingers and the intensity of our connection pushes you closer to the edge, teetering on the precipice of release. It's a moment of pure bliss, where time stands still, and you are consumed by the overwhelming pleasure that courses through your veins.

As Madara's fingers continued their relentless rhythm, pumping in and out of your seeping hole, there was an unfamiliar tightness growing in your lower abdomen, pleasure tightened inside your stomach. you wrap your shaky legs around him, seeking to anchor yourself to him amidst the overwhelming pleasure. your body quivers with anticipation, responding to his every touch, every movement.

"Wait!" you sob, writhing under him. "Feels funny...."

"You're going to have an orgasm, just let it happen," he scoffs, beginning to scissor his fingers, respectively hitting your soft, gummy spot every single time. 

you chant his name into his neck as praises leave your mouth, your voice filled with desire and need. The tears welling in your eyes are not from pain but from the overwhelming pleasure that threatens to consume you entirely.

In response to your plea, sucks the skin around your neck once more, groaning against your neck, his voice laced with desire. He begins to press your clit with the pad of his thumb, adding another layer of pleasure to the already intense sensations. The touch is electrifying, causing you to arch your back in response.

"Feels weird," you sob. "Feels... good too... though."

"You'll take it," Madara asserts.

The pleasure builds, the tension mounting with each passing second until you are on the precipice of release. It's a moment of pure surrender, where pleasure reigns supreme, and you are consumed by the overwhelming ecstasy that engulfs you.

Waves of ecstasy wash over you, leaving your legs trembling and weak from the intensity of the sensations. He slips his fingers from your hole and you continue to tremble from the aftermath of the orgasm. you managed to release your from Madara's neck and move away from his hold.

Your legs are trembling around his waist, your cum and arousal soaked the sheets below you, dripping down your ass from your hole. As you open your squeezed-shut eyes, you see Madara take a taste of his fingers, licking a stip up his digits, swallowing your cum and your cheeks burn red. 

Madara almost groans at your taste, so sweet, he can't wait for you to break and split from his cock. Your whimpers and screams of overstimulation are going to be heaven for him. You pull your hands from his grasp as you feel the hold loosening and cover your face. It was an immediate reaction, Madara quickly pulled your hands back above your head. 

"You will not hide from me," Madara commands and your bottom lip trembles as you nod. 

God, your legs fall lip on either side of Madara on the futon and they tremble. Then you felt a big bulbous tip press against your entrance and you arch your back into the pleasuring sensation, a moan slipping past your innocent mouth. All you wanted to do was paw at his chest, and leave scratch marks everywhere, but you couldn't.

"Please... I... want to... touch you," you whispered through your whine.

A humoured chuckle leaves his throat. "As if I'd let a filthy Senju touch me."

You then got flipped around so suddenly, your breasts pushing against the futon, hands still pinned above you, face squished into the pillow. You then felt Madara's mass press down against your back and you let out a soft whimper at the sudden weight. His abs were flush against your back, hands gripping the backs of your own, pressing them into the bed. 

Madara's breath tickled your ear and you wiggled your head at the warm sensation, your core getting wetter, your body trying to squirm away from the imposing hold that he had on you. Madara's hands moved slowly, changing his grip so that one of his hands held both of you over your head, being cautious not to get your hair entangled within the movement. 

A content sigh leaves your mouth when Madara raises his body ever so slightly, trailing his free hand down the expanse of your smooth back before his fingers meet your slick entrance, dripping with your cum.

"You're going to take all of me," he mutters against your ear before taking a nibble at your ear, you let out a gasp at the sudden action.

Then you felt a heavy, throbbing tip press against your clit and you moaned from the small touch. You tried to squirm away from the pleasurable cause but couldn't, he knew you were gonna try to run from his body due to the pleasure. So, he pressed his weight against you once more.

You held your breath when Madara sank his throbbing cock into your spongey walls, his length getting squeezed by every ridge within your soaked cunt. A groan leaves Madara's mouth and a moan from your own as his length nudged the deepest spot within you.

Madara could've busted right there and then, your tight walls constricting him made him tense. You feel so good, and he couldn't wait to take you again and again, to fill you up to the brim with his cum every night. 

Madara moans, relishing in the way your walls clench him, how could he not want to cum inside, you feel so good. His free hand grips your hip and he admires how you have perfect hips to give birth for, for a Senju, you're a perfect wife to breed. 

Madara didn't move, he wanted to relish in on how you desired to cause friction, desired to move against his touch, but couldn't. Madara's cock, prodded so deep in your gummy walls that you whimpered in pleasure, but that didn't stop him from not moving. He was still snug inside.

Hot and heavy kisses trail down from your ear down to the dip of your neck to shoulder and a breathless sigh escaped your parted lips before Madara rolled his hips into yours. A moan slips out of your mouth, his thick length scraping all the sensitive parts of your warm insides.

Madara's knees spread your legs apart so that any advances from you ensured that they would be shut down, so that you remained situated below him, your pretty body that paled in comparison to his frame. As he expected, you couldn't move from his trapping embrace.

His movements became faster, his cock thrusting into the depths of you needy hole as strained moans and whines left your throat. Madara was panting in your ear and an occasional deep groan slipped past his lips, the sounds which made your cunt flutter tightly around his length.

Madara was filling you up to the hilt, his throbbing pink tip hitting that soft, gummy spot in your cunt that caused you to scream out in fulfilment. "Close?" He breathed in a humoured tone, causing you to let out a moan and sigh, body shaking with pleasure.

Your body tried to arch away from the pleasure, not being able to take the strong rolls of Madara's hips, but as you arched your back away, his thrusts only aimed deeper, harder into your G spot. You sobbed out, tears filling your lash line. "Too much, Madara.... S-Slow down.... too much."

"Oh?" he smirked, his hips moving now at a faster pace, loving how your cunt squeezed his cock even though you wanted him to slow down, "It's alright, you can hold out," he coos.

Repetitive moans left your mouth while he pounded into your tight heat. You suddenly had the instinctive urge to press yourself into his length, but you couldn't, his weight was too heavy for you to move against him, and you were utterly hopeless as his thrusts became faster.

"Please, I wanna come," you cry out mewling. 

Your body trembled beneath him and the hold he had on your hands loosened. Your hips were getting held, then, the strength he possessed lifted you onto your knees before a bicep wrapped around your throat, lifting your head. It wasn't a tight grip but the power lifted your head from the futon while you shakily rested your weight on your elbows.

Your back arched heavily, finally being able to sink more into him. "Madara...?" you asked in a hush tone but he didn't reply and you wanted to sob because you just wanted one last thing. "Madara... please... I wan' a kiss, please."

"A kiss, huh?" he groans out. Madara hunches over you, pulling you closer to him and connecting your mouth in a sloppy, wet kiss, forcing his tongue inside your mouth, grunting into you while he swallows your moans. 

"Good, taking me so deep," Madara groaned, pulling away from your mouth and pushing this arch into your back deeper.

He watched your ass ripping again his lower abdomen, watching your cunt with black iris'. Observing how your walks sucked him in, leaving a creamy white rind of your cum and arousal around the base of his cock.

"Making you feel so good, aren't I?" Madara groaned his head tilted forward, sweat beading on his forehead as we watched your fall apart and tremble from his dick, watching your innocence fade away, broken moans slipping past your plump lips.

"Gonna fill you up," Madara groans. "You're taking me so deep, deserve to have my cum."

"'Wanna come, please," you beg, wanting to feel the release, desperate as the tears stream down your flushed cheeks. "Want it so bad."

You clench around his length as he increases his pace, instantly accommodating to the speed but your moans escalate. "Such a filthy Senju," He leaned down and mumbled in your ear chased with a deep moan that stirred your insides clenching around his length.

"Want it so bad!" you whimper, unable to comprehend any thoughts that swelled into your head.

"C'mon darling," he growled and you spasmed around his length as your high washed over you, your legs shaking as his weight pressed down even more than it was. His thrusts didn't slow causing you to whimper in overstimulation, but Madara helped it, his hips continuing to rut into mine, helping you ride out your orgasm as he chased his own.

With a groan, his lips planted against mine once again as his hips slammed into mine, hard, his cum spilling inside you causing you to moan into his kiss. And you felt more of his cum spill into your fertile womb, painting your insides white, you could almost feel your stomach bulging from how much you had of your husband inside you.

Madara slipped his softening length out, and pulled away from the kiss as you slumped to the futon, his eyes chained to the white splotches of silky come that spilled from your gaping cunt, watching with a slight frown as the cum spilled from your cunt. 

You're going to look so good plump with his children. He's going to make sure you get pregnant even if that means having sex morning and night. 

Do not steal, copy, modify, translate or use for ai Reblogs only!

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[domoz]

A drabble trade with @doveywovy, with prompts "marriage hunt" and "cultural differences"

The brilliant orange of sunset feels like it takes an eternity to fade into dusk.

The strings of lanterns around the edges of the clearing make tonight's gathering of anxious young hopefuls look more like a festival than it has any right to. If it were only Uchiha out here, it practically would be -- there would be talking and dancing and everyone would be sizing up the others out to hunt tonight. But there’s a group of Senju huddled together on the far side of the clearing across from them, and so the atmosphere is decidedly flat. Both sides keep well apart from each other, separated only by the tiny group of participants from other clans.

"Yeah, there's no way someone's not ending up dead tonight." Izuna informs his brother. Madara groans.

"Repeating how bad of an idea you think this is isn't going to stop it at this point." Madara sighs. "Haven't you already made sure a thousand times that no one out tonight is planning on doing anything stupid?"

Izuna has had this argument with him constantly over the past few months, and he's still loath to admit that his brother has a point. Putting a pause to marriage hunts had been sensible when the village had been founded. Nearly two years in, though, and it's starting to seem like they don't have faith in their own creation to survive the pressures of a time-honored tradition.

So even though this is going to end in disaster, the best thing to do to ensure Konoha's long term survival -- and Izuna finds, these days, that he's begrudgingly in support of that outcome -- is to hold a hunt anyways, and just deal with whatever happens.

That doesn't mean he can't say I-told-you-so afterwards, though.

"Our people, yes, but I can't account for the rest of them. I mean, the Senju all came out without shoes, so it's not like my expectations are very high."

"If I've kept my mouth shut about whatever has your clan lighting fires and singing all hours of the night leading up to this, you can bite your tongue on our shoes." Tobirama’s deep voice cuts in, the man butting into their conversation by appearing from the treeline on the Senju side, where he's surely been working his perfectionist little fingers to the bone over something that's going to be a mess anyways.

Izuna turns to him with a retort like usual, but he finds himself staring open-mouthed instead. He's known roughly where Tobirama has been all day, but he hasn't had eyes on him until right this moment. He's not wearing one of the four outfits Izuna has ever seen him in. No armor, no shinobi blacks or training clothes or that mess of dye the Senju call formal clothes. He's in a wave patterned haori, a pair of hakama that's secured at the ankles, and -- and no shoes.

"What the hell?" Madara sputters out a response before Izuna can -- he's too distracted by the string of bells Tobirama has wrapped around one wrist like the rest of the Senju participants, chest squeezing tight with too many reactions to name. "What are you dressed like that for? You're joining?"

"I don't see why I wouldn't." Tobirama says in that tone he usually takes with Madara that makes it sound like the person he's talking to is very stupid, "I'm eligible, and there are several politically advantageous targets. If I participate I can also keep an eye on anyone who might be planning on causing trouble. It's good optics."

"Good optics?" Izuna says, a little too shrill, "You're the clan heir! Don't you have something arranged already?"

He'd always assumed so -- Izuna himself hasn't exactly been betrothed since before he was born, but the list of acceptable candidates for him to marry has never been very long.

He really shouldn't be surprised when Tobirama shakes his head; he's always known that the Senju don't care about bloodlines. They probably hadn't even had to read through the genealogies of all of their participating clan members beforehand.

"Wh-- you're not seriously joining a hunt for political convenience?" Madara cuts in before Tobirama can say something snarky. "That's cold, even for you, Senju."

Tobraima rolls his eyes, "It’s not like I’m aiming  to get married to someone who hates me. If it comes down to that, I won't hunt anyone at all."

The two of them devolve into bickering, but Izuna is hardly listening. Tobirama is either going to walk out of the woods married, or never allowed to marry at all. The stupid bastard probably even thinks he would prefer that.

…It’s not like Izuna can join and do anything about it -- but that's not true, he only shouldn't. Certainly no one would be able to raise any complaint about the two of them being too closely related and, well -- it's a hunt;  if it succeeds there's not really any challenging it anyways.

Tobirama makes a noise of disgust at whatever it is Madara just said and excuses himself with, "I have more important things to worry about tonight than your empty head."

Luckily, Madara is distracted by chasing after him to try and get the last word in, so he doesn't notice as Izuna slinks away to go mingle with the hunters on the Uchiha side of the clearing. Surely, someone has some spare red rope lying around? It’s not as though he’s about to let Tobirama be inflicted on anyone else.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Also, the detail of Houhua!SQH checking out the expensive earrings because the color reminded him of MBJ is heartbreaking. Kinda hope MBJ got isekai'd w/ him

I ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IF MBJ HAD GOTTEN ISEKAI'D WITH HIM AND I KIND OF REALLY WANT HIM TO BE!! I think it'd be normal reincarnation for him, he doesn't remember their past life, which just makes things more painful for Houhua actually.

Houhua is falling over himself trying to see if he remembers him but is getting nothing !! Sorry Houhua <3

I think he'd be from another village and they wouldn't bump into each other till way later down the line. Im thinking specifically like. Him reincarnating into the same clan as Haku actually. Don't they have some sort of bloodline limit that revolves around ice? I need that. Desperately.

Maybe in a parallel to SVSSS, MBJ here wants to become Kiri's Kage? Idk how thatd work, but like putting that on the table. But like him being a rogue nin, possibly not knowing that Haku survived the culling of their clan (omg he finally has a family he can have an actual positive relationship with! He just,, needs to find him first)

Houhua is straight up ready to drop everything he's been working at in Konoha to go to his kings side but MBJ does not remember his ass and would not know how to appreciate it correctly

I want them to meet and like, obviously MBJ is warry of this Konoha shinobi, but Houhua is incredibly uncharacteristically eager to help him out (which alarms and confuses whatever teammates hes with at the time) and ends up going out of his way to help him somehow

MBJ is left thinking he's a fucking idiot, real Konoha "friendship is magic" breed, and is incredibly confused by the kindness he was shown by him but kind of ends up chalking it up to just. "fucking konoha weirdos and their reputation for being soft"

(Meanwhile Houhua's teammates are giving him HELLA side eye rn, who are you and what happened to their cowardly, Uchiha "we must always choose our own interests over others, especially outside the village walls" Houhua)

(,,,they absoloutley think Houhua has a hopeless crush on the nukenin. Nothing Houhua does or says from this point on will change this assumption.)

(To be fair, they aren't,,, wrong?)

Some time later one of his teammates gives Houhua a cut out of MBJ from a bingo book, meaning it as a joke to tease Houhua, and the cut out ends up meaning much more to Houhua than anyone might have guessed.

(Even later, when they met again, Houhua ends up dropping the little picture where MBJ sees and MBJ is deeply confused by it)

Anyways what would MBJ go by here? I changed SQH's name to better fit the setting plus to draw a clear line between Shang Quinghua and Uchiha Houhua

Tbh I feel like just "Jun" works pretty well? I feel like it's also similar enough Haku's short n sweet name to be able to squint and wave a vague hand at them being related, like, on a surface level, idk, does that make sense?

ANYWHO YEAH !!! Houhua and Jun my beloveds <3

[parafic]

Thank u for the food! Also elau pwease ty <3

You're welcome!

Also I wrote the whole scene in one shot so you get all of it

ELAU:

The secure cells used to be underground, dug deep underground into solid stone, then lined in layers of wood, metal, and stone, all covered in seals that the Uzumaki had designed generations ago.  There are still two of those, but the other six have been lifted up on wooden stilts, forty feet above the ground, and covered in chakra-repelling seals.  If anyone ever manages to get through the walls, they’ll be extremely visible, and have a difficult time avoiding a fall.  Most of the time, though, the majority of cells are empty.

Itama climbs the ladder to the only cell the guards are watching, and hauls himself up to the narrow edge surrounding the cell.  There are minimal handholds to help edge his way around to the opposite side, and the door—the only part that responds to chakra instead of resisting it—opens under his hand.

“I’m going to kill you,” the Uchiha hisses from inside.

Itama bites his lip to keep from laughing again.  “I see you’re awake now,” he says instead as he steps inside and closes the door.

“Fuck you!”

Less than two feet inside the door is a wall, which blocks any prisoner’s sight so they can’t see that they’re not outside.  Itama stands facing it until his eyes adjust to the dim light, then slides sideways into the room.

The Uchiha has been stripped of everything he was wearing, and redressed in green and cream.  Itama would blame Kawarama for the color choice, but really any Senju—except Hashirama—could be responsible.  Both of his ankles are chained to the wall, but the chains are long enough for him to comfortably reach about half of the room.  He has his back to a corner; whether it’s defensive or if he was just examining it in hope of an escape Itama can’t tell.  His mouth is twisted in a scowl.

The seals on these cells aren’t pleasant, but they’re useful.  Itama brushes a hand over the wall and doesn’t react outwardly as the seals rush in, and he can feel how the Uchiha has yanked on the chains since waking up.  Multiple times, not all together, and stronger than most civilians but not strong enough to be a shinobi.  The seals can’t record sound precisely enough for Itama to know exactly what the Uchiha said while alone, but it was mostly short and sharp, often loud.  Often at the same time as he yanked on the chains.  Cursing, Itama thinks, not that he expected any less.

The sensations cut off when his hand loses contact with the wall, and Itama sits against the opposite wall from the Uchiha, his legs folded so he can’t attack quickly.  “Has my brother spoken with you yet?”

“Fuck you,” the Uchiha snaps again.  “Fuck off and die!”

Itama bites the inside of his lip again.  The seals would have told him if Hashirama had been here, but he’s only visited once, with Kawarama, just after the flurry of several shinobi going in and out, when they brought the Uchiha in.  “Well I think he’s still busy, so I’ll assume not.  You should know that you aren’t in danger here.”

The Uchiha scoffs.  “A pack of Senju hunt down an Uchiha, and I’m supposed to believe you aren’t going to kill me?  Did you forget to poison me before lying?”

“If we wanted to kill you, I would have done it before you started running.  Or I would have let you do it.”

“So you’re going to dissect me first,” he says flatly.  The first hint of hesitation enters his voice when he adds, “Or—steal my bloodline.”

Tobirama and Kawarama were both disappointed about not getting to dissect him, for… mostly the same reasons, in almost opposite proportions.  Tobirama surely will be in here with every diagnostic jutsu he knows trying to study the Uchiha anyway, and probably heal any old injuries he can find as an excuse to explore further.

Regardless, Itama says, “Neither of those.  You’re a hostage.  We’re hoping to negotiate with the Uchiha to end the war.”

“Oh.”  The Uchiha studies Itama.  “Well you’re wasting your time.  The clan head hates me, so you should just kill me now.”

That could be a problem, if the Uchiha isn’t just a good liar.  Tobirama has been able to sense this Uchiha living alone outside the compound, and the main family visiting frequently, and this plan was built on the assumption that they would all be too attached to this Uchiha to risk his life by refusing to negotiate.  The clan head, Takami, visits the least, but they had assumed that was because his duties kept him busy.

But there’s no way to know until the letter is sent, and an answer received.  Or not.  “Is that enough to stop him from doing his duty to protect his own clan?”

“It’s my job to protect myself.”

“Is it?  I thought you were a civilian.”

That earns Itama the most ferocious scowl yet.  “I’m still an Uchiha!”

“The Uchiha don’t protect the civilians in your clan?”

“It’s none of your business!”

It’s not likely to be important information, nor is Itama likely to get an answer now, so he hums and lets it go.  “May I ask your name?”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Ah.  Thank you, we’ll let your clan know that Uchiha Go-fuck-yourself is here.”

The Uchiha doesn’t laugh, but his face twists through an array of bewilderment, annoyance, and suspicion before he says, “That’s an awful joke.”

“I can only work with the material I have.”

The Uchiha sneers.  “And I’m your material?”

“The conversation is,” Itama says.  “Will you tell me your name?”

The Uchiha sneers at him silently this time.

Itama gives the silence a few seconds before moving on.  “I am Senju Itama.  Do you know of me?”

The Uchiha watches him silently for several seconds before nodding.

“Then I won’t repeat what you know.  Anija will come here to speak to you later; nii-san and Kawarama might as well.”

“To torture me?”

“You’re a hostage,” Itama repeats.  “We don’t torture hostages.”

The look the Uchiha gives him screams I don’t believe you.

But there’s no sign of worry or fear, so he probably doesn’t actually expect to be tortured, so Itama lets it go.  “I’d still like to know your name.”

“Are you just going to keep asking that?” the Uchiha demands.

“I might.”

Itama does.  He lets the topic drift for a few sentences, then asks again, and again, and again.  By the time the guard arrives with onigiri, Itama still hasn’t gotten an answer.

He’ll try again another time.  He waits until the Uchiha gives in and starts eating, then leaves.

When Itama reaches the ground, Mito is waiting.  “Onee-sama.”

“Itama.”  Mito smiles.  “You were meeting Kawarama next, I heard?”

Itama nods.

“Let me walk with you,” she says.

Mito also asks how Itama is doing on the walk to the training ground, but she’s easier to reassure than any of Itama’s brothers are.  Or possibly she’s better at hiding it; Itama doesn’t know her as well as he wants to yet.  Regardless, once Itama has assured her that he’s perfectly fine and will only need to eat a bit extra to make up the energy healing requires, she leaves him at the training ground with Kawarama and Sumire.

[please-read-the-manga]

Was thinking about an 'alternate universe' where a young Sasuke, in the absence of guidance on how to carry out his clan traditions, tries to connect to his fractured identity by spending time in the Naka Shrine and accidentally summons the ghost/spirit of Izuna who hears his cries of injustice and grief from the other side.

Truthfully, I don't know why it would be Izuna in particular, but I'm kind of playing around with the idea that his death was viewed as so unjustifiable and horrific by Madara that Madara's devastation over it prevented Izuna's spirit from properly/completely passing over into the Pure Lands. So, Izuna's spirit remains in this unaware-but-restless state and one day it materializes to answer the call of another Uchiha (who also just so happens to be an Indra transmigrant, like Madara, if we want to go there... maybe their emotions carry extra weight and power within the spiritual world) now trying to process his own unimaginable grief, this time over the death of his entire family, bloodline, and culture. Thus they become bound to one another (for better or worse) and Izuna is, from then on, always there, carried by (and only visible to) Sasuke on his journey...

Maybe they both come to believe that if they get justice for the clan (which they initially believe is by killing Itachi, 'the kinslayer') then Izuna will finally be freed and Sasuke will have done right by his family and avenged them. But really, I think what would actually be keeping Izuna 'stuck' is the plan that evolved (at least partially) from Madara's grief over his death, Project Tsukuyomi... thus their quest expands and the two then need to figure out how to alleviate Madara's guilt/sense of loss over Izuna's death and rekindle his feelings of hope in the world once more (ie. stopping the plan). Somehow, lol.

And I think Izuna would be a fun character to do with this with because there's so little we truly know about him, but so much we can infer due to his impact on other characters' actions/story events.

Idk, in my opinion there's just a lot of opportunity here for a good mix of heart and comedy, especially with Izuna as a more defined character that has a little more freedom than other characters to be molded. I also think having someone Sasuke can connect to, that's from his clan (but is also still deceased and a reminder of how alone he is, ie. end of the day Izuna is still a ghost, an ancestral relic of the now-dying clan) would have a profound effect on him.

It'd almost be like his own inner Kurama voice except Izuna provides no chakra or power amps, only scathing commentary on how much he hates the injustices of the village (and its Senju leadership) lol. Also, I like to think his reactions to all the in-universe stories about 'Madara's deeds' (which is really Obito) would be entertaining.

A sketchy comic since I like the idea so much haha:

[saphronethaleph]

Protean-aruto

“Heheh,” Orochimaru chuckled, pleased with himself.

With the Uzumaki brat out of the way, now he could properly focus on Sasuke… the one he was here for in the first place.

There were many routes to power, and many routes to immortality. But there were few who could so effectively fulfil both of Orochimaru’s needs at the same time. Sasuke’s bloodline would allow him to gain power faster, and as a properly prepared substitute body would allow Orochimaru to last for a long time.

Potentially forever.

The only problem was that… the Uchiha just didn’t seem to have the fortitude to resist. It was helpful, even gratifying, for his short term goals, but – Orochimaru did not content himself with what would be beneficial in the short term.

He wanted long term strength. Long term outcomes. A strong host.

Then Sasuke twitched – and moved, getting out of the way, and getting his teammate clear as well.

Orochimaru moved to follow, then there was a sudden splintering kraaash and one of the giant trees of the forest nearly fell on him.

Dodging back, Orochimaru looked – and blinked.

Then stared.

There was a huge thing skidding to a halt, a kind of monster with wolf’s paws and bird’s wings and the mouth of a lion on a low-slung, vaguely canine body, along with a single long tail that ended in a wicked spike.

It was also about fifty feet long and thirty tall.

“I don’t know the password, okay?” the monster said, sounding cross. “You shouldn’t have picked such a long one, you know?”

“The fuck.”

Orochimaru took a moment to realize that he’d been the one to say that.

“...what,” he added. “You’re the Uzumaki boy? Didn’t I launch you off to get eaten by a snake?”

“You mean the snake was your fault too?” the monster asked – the Uzumaki boy, somehow? “Okay, that’s just rude, you know? Who are you, anyway?”

“He’s not a genin, Naruto!” Sasuke said – right, Naruto, that was the Uzumaki boy’s name. “He’s too strong! And what the hell are you doing, anyway?”

“I panicked!” Naruto replied, sitting on his… haunches?… with a huff. “I’d like to see you not panic when you’re being eaten by a snake, you know? And it tasted awful, too.”

“You ate one of my snakes?” Orochimaru asked, still having trouble processing this.

He was fairly sure that Naruto was a jinchuuriki, sure, but that would mean being the host to the nine-tailed demon fox.

And that was… not a fox, though it was a lot of other things all mashed up together into some kind of awful chimera.

“Well, yeah, but it tried to eat me first, you know?” Naruto rumbled. “So it seemed fair to try especially when I didn’t know if it was gonna get back up again if I didn’t kill it, you know.”

“Stop saying that!” Orochimaru snapped.

“Stop saying what?” Naruto asked. “Guys? Was I saying anything wrong, you know?”

“He means your tic,” the Haruno girl informed him.

“What?” Naruto said, sounding more confused, then clearly realized something. “Oh, that! You know, it’s not polite to ask someone to not be a medical condition that they’ve got! I’ve got a medical note, you know, you know?”

Orochimaru’s eye twitched slightly.

“Enough with that!” he said, pointing at Naruto. “Why is he a giant monster? Why do none of you seem to find that unusual?”

“...what?” Naruto asked, sounding genuinely confused. “It’s just a henge, you know?”

A henge.

A henge.

That was… Orochimaru would have said it was flat impossible, but he was a scientist and he was quite willing to amend his views based on new information.

And… strictly speaking, the henge was not technically limited to only doing humans, or solid illusions. Sarutobi’s partner Enma could turn himself into a wooden staff, for example. But Enma was a boss summon, the head of a summon clan and an especially powerful one at that, and monkeys were like toads – they were associated with change and so it was merely very difficult and very intensive for them to do such a transformation.

But humans were limited to fragile, solid-illusions at most, something that would break fairly quickly if pressured and which required constant concentration. The amount of effort that was involved simply was not worth it for any serious use cases.

There was a reason Orochimaru himself had murdered three people to steal someone’s skin, instead of merely… using a henge.

But to transform into a giant monster and fight with it, without any sign of strain? That was…

...actually quite intimidating, now that Orochimaru was thinking about it. The sheer scale of skill and effort involved was something that he could parse quite well, thank you very much, and so was the scale of versatility.

“It’s not like it’s the first time,” Sasuke said, drawing Orochimaru’s attention. “He once turned into a shuriken so I could throw him.”

“Yeah, and that’s when Kakashi sensei realized that I had a cool talent, you know?” Naruto asked. “We were working on all kinds of stuff like a hawk to fly around with, and a wolf, and a lion and stuff, only, I kinda panicked and got them mixed up. You know?”

The kyuubi no kitsune.

That was what it had to be, Orochimaru decided. Not that this boy was the kyuubi, but that – it was like the way that other jinchuuriki had some talents that came from their tailed beasts. From the sand defence of the Gaara boy from Suna, to the elemental releases, to… all kinds of things.

In hindsight, this information actually explained why the kyuubi had otherwise seemed not to give its hosts any of that sort of power… neither of the previous hosts had noticed.

“So what was going on, anyway?” Naruto asked. “Obviously this guy attacked us, you know, but should we stop him or what?”

“He’s really strong,” Sasuke warned. “But… we have to fight, I think.”

“Got it!” Naruto said, and his tail flicked around and nearly took Orochimaru’s head off.

Then he started breathing fire.

Orochimaru decided that discretion was the better part of valour, and since he had no interest in valour he’d just take the discretion.

[phantomchick]

The themes of Naruto and how the fact he and Sasuke are reincarnations/part of a cycle expands on those themes

Some guy was going on about how the reincarnation thing in Naruto was an asspull and when people pulled receipts and showed him panels from part one that hinted at it he maintained that it was still terrible because the whole destiny thing ruined the themes of the manga and I'm here like somebody really read the whole manga yet missed out on the themes of peace through absolute power vs peace through understanding that were key to the whole thing.

The Akatsuki's dream of peace is enforced on the rest of the world through the absolute power of the 9 bijuu powered infinite tsukuyomi. Sasuke chases power in order to avenge his family so he can be at peace + not have the threat of Itachi killing any further family he makes all over again hanging over him. Naruto comes to peace with those around him by understanding them whether or not he considers their past actions forgiveable, he chases Sasuke because he understands that Sasuke's motivation of revenge isn't wrong but the way he's going about it is actively self-destructive and hurts both him and those who care about him.

The whole idea of the villages I think are to show that it's a cycle of hatred, between war and peace, between might making right and compassion being the key and Sasuke and Naruto are symbolically representative of it all!

The theme of generational trauma is also all over the world of Naruto! Whether it's the legacy of the Uzumaki sacrificed to become the jinchuriki of the nine tails, a burden his parents pass onto Naruto; Kakashi's trauma stemming from his father's, Hinata and Neji both innocent kids but who are divided by the toxic customs of their family when they should be like siblings to each other, Hashirama and Madara bearing the weight of the brother war the Senju-Uchiha conflict and how hard it is to achieve peace even in a world where neither side actually wants to fight because of all the history and distrust that's built up, the curse of hatred of the Uchiha stemming from Ootsutsuki Indra's madness and willingness to murder his closest friends for the sake of taking power by force, Obito being taken by his own clan patriarch, hurt when he tries to leave and brainwashed and traumatised into buying into the dream of a perfect world - he literally inherits his hatred for the existing one, Gaara and his siblings lives effected by their father's actions but also by the custom of jinchuriki being created in the first place, the children of Ame all orphaned by war, Kaguya the enslaver, Kaguya the dictator, leaving a fragment of her will called Zetsu aka 'tongue' that continues to spread hatred, fear and prejudice and divide the people hundreds of years on. Haku experiencing the results of both the ninja world 'shinobi are tools' belief system and the prejudice of Kirigakure towards those with bloodline limits when he's a child too young to fully understand either with Zabuza the demon of the bloody mist who killed all his classmates to end kiri's killer graduation exams once and for all who can't bring himself to express his genuine love for Haku until he's already dead. I mean I could go on but you get the point.

The reincarnation thing emphasises the themes of Naruto which are generational trauma, the power of brotherhood/friendship and peace through absolute power vs peace through understanding and last but not least endurance in the face of a hopelessly cynical world: aka The will of fire, the will/resolve to keep trying to improve things even a little for the sake of the next generation, to refuse to give up even when it appears hopeless. Like say when you've just gotten your ass kicked by an army of zombies, the remainder of Akatsuki, Obito, Zetsu and Uchiha fucking Madara, you've failed to stop the moon's eye plan and suddenly, things get worse and a literal all powerful Goddess descends on you when you're already exhausted and the rest of the army is comatose.

[deadlypincers]

100% agree on the entire tekken fandom being so fucking weird with jin kazama smh (especially fucking reddit, twitter, and the youtube comments section which is why i rarely look up tekken content on those sites in particular). that would be like if you were a star wars fan and you can't even enjoy luke skywalker without someone talking about how "luke tried to kill his own nephew yet he forgave his father, he is a hypocrite and a bad hero you're a bad person if you like luke". just like luke in star wars the last jedi, jin was ooc as fuck in tekken 6. even the writers themselves admitted they didn't want to do this, it only happened because of harada and they got so much backlash for that character assassination back when tekken 6 was first released. so why...why for over 10 years do i have to constantly see so many unfunny repetitive jokes, hate, and slander about jin kazama. why is the only thing i see when i look up jin is "ww3" for the billionth time. why did i have to see people making customizations of jin dressing up like h*tler, p*tin, and fucking s*suke uchiha. why do i have to see fucked up fan fiction of kazuya, miguel, or fucking s*suke uchiha raping and torturing jin kazama to "punish him for his war crimes and also because he never suffered what kazuya/miguel/s*suke suffered from". i'm also so sick and tired of seeing fucking s*suke uchiha stans and r/Tekken daring to comparing my boy jin kazama to that stupid uchiha from naruto who is a misogynistic egotistical narcissistic irredeemable skinny femboy twink asshole. jin would never try to kill xiaoyu multiple times, unlike s*suke who tried to kill two women who admired him. jin has no ego unlike that ego obssessed jerk s*suke. jin is actually handsome and hot, he's a muscular toned man and not just anohter generic femboy twink. jin was never cruel to either her or hwoarang. if anything jin was always more like itachi uchiha, jin always said "forgive me" to his opponents and his motivation, both jin and itachi have the whole black feather aesthetic, both jin and itachi hate their own bloodline, and jin's goal is to kill/stop his own bloodline for the greater good just like itachi. jin would fucking choke and then brutally murder s*suke for what he did to both team 7 and team taka. damn it harada, why didn't you just retcon it like how you retconned kazumi having the devil gene but not jinpachi. why didn't they just say that jin kazama was brainwashed by azazel or something. sometimes i can't help but think about an alternative timeline where tekken 6 scenario campaign never happened, jin was still loved and the side characters (ex. Asuka and Paul) were not made irrelevant joke characters and had something to do.

forgive me if i got a bit too extreme here, but i...i...i just had to let out my emotions now. jin has always been important to me, he's my childhood crush and also one of my biggest comfort characters (along with mitsuru from persona 3 and kiryu from yakuza). which is also why i'm so glad i found posts like these, my feelings feel validated.

Oh believe me, I feel ya, anon. I guess this is just what they call the pain of loving a cursed character doomed by both the fandom and the narrative... but in the end, we all know what's actually beneath all that and that there is much more than meets the eye to Jin (and other characters too).

Also, comparing Jin to fucking P*tin and H*tler is.... something entirely else and I am honestly terrified of those people if their reading comprehension leads them to these comparisons. I just-

You don't know how much patience I have to build up to (sort of) stay in the fandom with all these "jokes" still running around kn freaking 2024. I wanna say that I sincerely hope it will get better, but seeing the overall state of the fandom now and 5-10 ywars ago... I kind if doubt it will get better any time soon.

[tsukuyomii45]

I read the ObiKonan warring states period post and that got me wondering: how would Madara relationship with Obito be like if he raises him near the end of the warring states period? To be more specific, Obito would be around eleven when the events of Izuna's death and Konoha's founding take place.

It would be Hashirama that encourages Madara to watch over Obito, an only-child Uchiha orphan who lost both of parents and grandparents due to the war and who would grow up to not know what his parents were really like.

Hashirama tells Madara that it will not replace the emptiness that Izuna left, but because the goal is to build a village where everyone, all clans, would protect each other... he can start by adopting Obito and raising him.

And so, after a long while of hesitating and considering what Hashirama told him.. one look at Obito as an infant, and one small grip of those baby fingers on his index was enough to make Madara determined to raise this little child who wields his bloodline.

Madara was brought up by Tajima, so he would instill the discipline and values on Obito. He would project the need to make him stronger onto Obito because he does wants him to be unbeatable.

In other words, he does not want to lose Obito the same way he lost Izuna. He would train and train Obito in every weapon and in every technique so that he can be just as strong.

So he is rather strict and tough on him, but not in an aggressive manner. He deals with Obito calmly and never takes out his anger on him - but he scolds him sternly.

But because of that, Obito grows up to also be a rather fun boy. XD By the age of 11 he is already raising Madara's blood pressure. He grows to love training and learning techniques, but despises running errands and doing chores.

A scenario could look like this:

"Obito! Get over here."

Obito would rush and skid over to where Madara was outside in the yard, with his eyes shimmering in excitement. "What is it?! Are we learning a new jutsu today?!"

"Come here and chop these up. We need to replenish our stack of firewood."

Obito would roll his eyes and let out a loud groan. "Oh, come on! I already did that last week!"

A vein would pop on Madara's forehead as he says, "Do not question me, boy! I will not ask you again."

XD

Something like that. It's a mix of both, parental and mentor-student relationship between them...with Madara consistently looking out for Obito and feeling protective of him.

[noxxha]

hiii, hope you're doing fine!! I would like to ask how do think that Madara and Tobirama would react if they find out they have an granddaughter (let's presume the mother was an Uchiha and the father an Senju). I would really like seeing your analysis on Madara side, since you descrive him so well :))

Hello there anon! I am doing well, thank you for asking - life has just been messy for a while. In any case, it was a delightful surprise to get an ask!

And without further delay - this would be my answer to your question anon:

———

First thing to establish, for the sake of the question, is that Madara had a wife, and at least one child, to be able to have a granddaughter.

I have written headcanons before about similiar topics. Such as how he would treat his wife, or even what I think about the Uchiha culture itself, in case anyone wants to see more of my personal perspective about the Uchiha clan.

In any case, I think Madara would treat his family well. And if he had a daughter, he would be proud to learn that their bloodline would continue.

Now, once he finds out that his daughter has caught feelings for a Senju - and that his granddaughter is of “mixed blood” - I can see him being disappointed in such events, but he takes it well enough - thanks to his wife - until he learns the identity of the father.

The son of Senju Tobirama.

So, this headcanon can go in many different directions, depending on timeline and if canon events are meant to happen (Izuna’s death).

Let’s entertain a timeline where Izuna died, and Madara was left with a family in the form of a wife and a daughter (thus keeping his sanity intact).

I would personally headcanon that Madara would not take it well that his daughter has fallen in love with the son of the person he holds a grudge against (Tobirama).

Despite his caring, devoted side, I can personally see that this is something he would never accept. Especially if it is in a timeline where Izuna is dead, and he is excluded from anything that has to do with Konoha.

While it is true that he is not openly antagonistic towards Tobirama in canon, he definitely holds a grudge towards the latter for taking Izuna from him for the rest of his life, and while he tried working together with the Senju for the sake of Konoha - he would definitely show a much more ruthless side here.

We know Madara does not take betrayal well - and this would definitely be the greatest betrayal that could happen in his own family. Thus I can see him disowning his daughter and keep contact between them to be civil at most (if not outright shunning his daughter and never again speaking to her). While his wife would be sorrowed by such, she would respect her husband’s decision and only support her daughter if absolutely necessary.

Family means everything to an Uchiha, and both husband and wife - even if they are a father and mother - would stay true to those words until the very end.

If we instead entertain an alternative reality where Izuna is alive, and Konoha is still founded, I can definitely see that Madara would take on a more accepting stance to the union - and the child - of his daughter and Tobirama’s son. He would still not be pleased - might even still disown his daughter - but he would still remain in her life to a much larger degree.

I can personally see Tobirama react in a similar way to Madara. I can definitely see him try to sway his son to leave his Uchiha lover, while Madara would try to reason with his daughter, he would eventually give up and accept that she has tarnished the Uchiha name.

All in all, it would definitely not be an union that is liked. But everyone would be a bit more accepting of it, if Izuna was alive.

——

Thank you once more for the ask anon <3 I wish you a wonderful day/evening anon and all the best o/

Don’t hesitate to send more asks if there is anything else you are curious about, and wish for me to answer.

[joltai-showa]

fic notes, "Dealing with the Devil" edition

okay, so, as promised, here's a "fun things you might have missed" Joltai Showa edition, and today we'll be talking about "Dealing with the Devil" because I think this one in particular doesn't extrapolate on a lot of things as the original ending got kind of cut + there's like twenty million sprikles of headcanons regarding this AU that (possibly?) might not make sense to the reader

- the name of the fic: if it wasn't obvious, it's a pun on "dealing with someone" and "making a deal with the devil" (with Madara being this canonically eerie and menacing figure in the story this is pretty much what happens in the fic). generally I make the titles for my fics (and chapters wink wink BSSM) either as I am finishing the work or literally as I am staring down at ao3's posting form lmao. I'd say the only ones that don't follow this pattern would be the title of "From Queen to a Pawn" (I was sitting in a coffee shop seething from everything about my thesis and then I had the sudden inspiration for the title) and its chapter 3 (I was planning on naming that one "Hell" as far as when I was writing chapter 4 of LTFG)

- the cut ending: originally I intended for the fic to actually end events that happen after "Deidara's deal", however I was already like 2 weeks past the deadline, this bad boy already had like 15k words in it + I was kind of getting sick of it tbh, so in the end I decided on finishing it somewhere around the peak of absurdity which would be the deal. if you're curious what I originally had in mind, here it is: there was actually another reason for Madara's neighbors to move away and that's grandpa watching pretty spicy yaoi tapes at full volume before sleep (he's getting closer to 80, so he forgets how to turn on the headphones + he doesn't really care for anyone's comfort other than his own cuz he's a bitch like that). after making the deal grandpa is much more friendly to his grandson and his fiance, so they have a pretty chill dinner with the Zetsus and then they stay the night in the guest room (Obito does feel bad for not coming back for years, so pretty quickly agrees after grandpa offers). they do unfortunately discover that bad habit of Madara's. Obito is traumatized, Deidara almost dies after choking on air from laughing too much. as I've said like 3 times before, this fic is just a glorified shitpost lmao

- the Uchiha family tree: the fact that the single most broken, beloved by Kishimoto and literally the center of all bullshit happening in the world clan has NO FUCKING PROPER structure is so mindblowing to me. it was kind of annoying back when I first read the manga, but after spending almost 5 years in Jojo fandom (where we have 6 parts about the story of one gigantic disfunctional family spanning literally 150 years and where we KNOW how every single one of them is related to each other) it feels outright insulting and kinda drives me mad. like, okay, thanks for telling me that Sasuke and Itachi are brothers, their parents are Fugaku and Mikoto, but what the fuck about the others? Who the fuck is Shisui? At what point of the bloodline Madara had kids before fucking off into the sunset to find a big orange puppy to run Konoha over with? Did Izuna get any bitches before Tobirama sent him back to the Uchiha ancestors? Is Obito some sort of fucking tulpa from Kakashi's mind? Not a single goddamn person from his own clan ever acknowledges his existence in the story except from the ressurected guy who stole him after Kannabi and gave him the task of playing himself for the following sixteen years, at this point I'll believe in anything, because Kishimoto somehow manages to fuck up even his own favorite clan's writing in favor of yanking it for the Sharingan for another 100 pages

- ahem, rant over. anyway, for this fic I kind of crammed the bloodline to a reasonable size, with Madara being the starting point, him being the father to Fugaku and Obito's father, Obito being his eldest grandchild and Sasuke and Itachi being sons to Fugaku as they are in canon. if you're reading my BSSM AU, nope, this is not the structure of the Uchiha family that I have in mind

- it was never properly mentioned in the fic, but Madara's and "grandma"s marriage was arranged. grandma passed away a long time ago, so much so that out of grandkids only Obito actually remembers her. in any case, Madara never really cared for her, his focus was more on his political career and his one true rival

- Deidara's family structure: now if you are reading my BSSM AU, congrats, because this fic has pretty much the same family structure that I imagine for Akatsuki Girldara, meaning her own parents passed away a long time ago and she was taken in by Kurotsuchi's parents, so they were raised together. Here both of them see each other as sisters, which is... well... a bit different from what is going on in BSSM AU. in any case, Onoki remains the annoying bitch in her life in any universe, but here he's just her kind of grandfather

- did I mention how absolutely hilarious to me Madara being so obviously evil in those flashbacks of Obito's? both of them are pretty funny in retrospect, with one of them straight up telling Obito that "😈oh😈don't😈worry😈you'll😈be😈back😈to😈repay😈for😈my😈kindness😈soon😈enough😈" and Obito just going "yeah, yeah, grandpa, whatever". also, Obito, darling, why the fuck are you talking about the most important people in your life to THESE ABSOLUTE FUCKING STRANGERS??? HAS NO ONE TOLD YOU THE PHRASE "STRANGER DANGER"??? ALSO DID YOU NEVER OPEN A HISTORY BOOK IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE??? YOU MEET THE GHOST OF UCHIHA AND DON'T REMEMBER THAT TINY LITTLE DETAIL ABOUT HOW MADARA TRIED TO DESTROY THE VILLAGE YOU LOVE SEVERAL TIMES AND IS AS MUCH OF THE ENEMY TO KONOHA AS THOSE GUYS THAT CRASHED THOSE BOULDERS ON TOP OF YOU. I swear to god kid Obito is the type of person to get asked by Zetsus "So where does Rin live? What days does she work at the hospital? Can you tell us where she likes to hang out alone? How often do your sensei and Bakakashi leave the village? Is Rin good in hand-to-hand combat?" and answer them all honestly, without ever suspecting anything. Seriously, Madara and Zetsu could be doing "We are Number One" song from the Lazytown and Obito would be clapping along, thinking about how talanted everyone here is.

- the Deidara heel thing: because this is a normal modern day AU where neither of them have to fight for their lives, Deidara does and loves typically girl things, like dresses, heels, etc etc which would be completely inconveniet for a shinobi. and she's pretty, so she slays in both of these things. and another funny story but after I posting this fic I ordered some new boots for autumn and, well, at the time when looking at the photos I didn't think that the heels were that high. only when I got the boots I realized that 8.5 cm is, in fact, a fucking lot. so now I guess now I am cosplaying as Deidara from this fic

- Obito still has the scars in this AU. presumably from some similar circumstances from "To End with a Bang", but I'll write more about it when I'll be talking about it. I guess this one is more about his relationship with the family that, at the end of the day, supported him through it

- the circumstances of Obito and Deidara meeting and deciding to marry in this AU: it's kind of sprinkled throught the fic, but anyway, here's what I had in mind: they still have the same age gap as they do in canon, Deidara was a university student doing an art degree, Obito was sent by Hokage to serve as Konoha's high comissioner (the dictionary says that it's supposed to be a synonim to "ambassador" and that sounds cooler, so I used it). Obito went to some official event organized by Tsuchikage (which Deidara, unfortunately, had to attend) and proceeded to try to mingle with the local important guys in expensive suits, but in the process ended up saying something so stupid about Iwagakure's art that Deidara couldn't hold herself back and went off to pretty much tell Obito off for his idiocy. in the end they ended up agreeing on meeting on the weekdays in Iwa's various museums where she can fix this dumbass's ideas regarding art in Land of Earth. and, well, after a while they kind of started crushing on each other. Obito assumed that to be one-sided and Deidara liking playing her role of cultural senpai, so he was trying to hide it, while Deidara wanted to bash his head against the wall because he was taking so long. in the end they were sitting in their favorite cafe in one of the museums, Obito was eating his chocolate cake, Deidara was drinking her coffee, finally Deidara's patience ran out and she grabbed him and kissed him there and then. Obito kind of realized that what they had was, in fact, mutual, so they started secretly dating, until the time came for him to return to Konoha, and at this point both of them didn't want to fall apart, so a few days later Obito proposed. Deidara's family at the time had no idea about any of this (I guess Kurotsuchi might have been suspecting something about her sis having a boyfriend, but not who exactly the guy is), so... yeah... a big shitstorm ensued, because not only all of the sudden Deidara had a boyfriend, said boyfriend was now her fiance, a lot older than her and both of them were planning on leaving the country as soon as possible. in the end things did get figured out, so the two of them leaving for Konoha was pretty uneventful

- Deidara continues to have insane beef with all Uchihas imaginable. I mean, it's kind of insane in retrospect that this one random guy managed to throw hands with all remaining Uchihas in his short 19 year old lifespan, especially considering he isn't the main character and officially there's only two Uchihas remain, but somehow Deidara had managed to blow up the third secret one a few times. he's got some sort of Uchiha curse of his own that needs to be studied. anyway, her relationship with Obito started off with her arguing with him, her beef with Madara is literally the plot of this fic, Sasuke was acting like a little spoiled shit and pissed her off during that one meeting she had with Fugaku's family, Itachi was pretty cordial with her, but she took it as him thinking he's better than her, Mikoto is something of a similar case, but she got hate for worrying about things between Obito and his unexpected fiance because really half of the time her nephew has no idea what he is doing, and Fugaku pisses her off for being overly controlling just like Onoki was

- similarly to canon, Onoki and Madara actually met in here, but as representatives of different countries, not whatever the fuck they were at the time of that flashback that couldn't have happened if Kishimoto actually kept track of the dates he had in the manga

- currently Deidara and Obito are living at Obito's old place in Konoha. because it wasn't really suited for two people + Obito didn't want Deidara to worry about having to work after moving like that because he earns more than enough + this is her first time in Konoha, so he wants her to have fun and find things that she loves about her pretty much new home, so in the end they agreed that Obito works, while Deidara explores Konoha, redesigns their apartment and figures out the little details of the wedding. on weekends they do this together. or sometimes just laze about if the work was too much for Obito and he's pretty much falling back asleep as soon as he opens his eyes in the morning.

- Deidara knows how to make a lot of things with her own hands, so she's decided that most of the really important things for the wedding she'll make herself, in particular their kimonos. Obito was absolutely elated

- I couldn't be bothered to look up on what hand people in Japan wear the wedding/engagement rings or if they wear it at all, so in the end I just imagined the two of them wearing them on the same hand that they wear their Akatsuki rings - right for Deidara, left for Obito

- Uchiha family here doesn't really have an insignia like Uchiha clan in canon does, but grandpa Madara has watched far too many historical dramas and made one for his family. a lot of stuff in his house has it, and whenever he wants to gift something to his family, it always his that fan on it. the remaining Uchiha family is pretty sick of it

- for similar reasons he has his own mini-trebuchet that Obito helped him to order off Kakuzon under the promise he'll never use it against anyone. even before Obito left for Iwa grandpa already broke the promise a few times. probably with Fugaku being the unfortunate victim of it. at least he didn't use his Hashirama bodypillow at the time. he's figured how to buy it on his own a few years after Obito left

- and yes it's Kakuzon. because Kakuzu would absolutely love the horrors of modern day capitalism

- while Deidara in here is still as stubborn as they go, because this is a much more peaceful AU, she is much more okay with showing her desire to rely on Obito, like, for example, hiding behind him when she's feeling skittish

- old man Madara lives by "gaslight gatekeep grandpaboss" when it comes to Obito. a lot of things regarding his attitude here comes from my own experience with my older relatives + my knowledge on how old people act in Asian cultures, so that's why he's so over the top authoritarian and dramatically shuts the door whenever something doesn't go his way. and of course blaming everyone for being against him and not caring for him at all

- I'm sorry everyone but I do not agree that long-haired Obito was in any capacity hot. for me of all Uchihas the only one capable of pulling off the long-haired look is Madara and that's just barely. the rest of them just end up looking homeless, depressed and unwashed. i look at kid Obito with long hair and can just smell how dirty and full of lice they are

- of all the things in this fic that I reference from canon, the cane being a scythe is absolutely canon. i wish I was kidding you. but no, old man Madara indeed pulls up to recently awakened Obito with a fucking scythe as a walking cane.

i am not even sure who's the goofier mf between these two. shinobi world must be feeling ashamed that these goobers almost won

- "The old man may look feeble, but Deidara immediately knows that this guy is evil enough to live on a secluded bog like some sort of bitchy hag that steals young naive girls and offers to resurrect their dead husbands as zombies in exchange for their yet to be born babies." - that's the BG3 reference, in particular to Auntie Ethel's quest in Act 1. I was doing that part of the game with my friends as I was writing this fic, so I was feeling silly and inspired. Besides, lowkey Auntie Ethel and Madara would absolutely be besties. Living in some dank cave for years? Check. Offer some kids a deal with the devil and force them to wear a mask, causing them to end up insane? Check. Appearing youthul and handsome when meeting the protagonist when in reality they are an old creepy bitch? Check. Vicious mockery? *remembers Obito translating Madara's oldmanese to normal language for Naruto* Check.

- here Uchihas frequently end up with bloodshot eyes whenever they get pissed and glare at someone. yep, that's the Sharingan reference

- did I mention "gaslight gatekeep grandpaboss" already? yeah, Onoki loves to do that too, so Deidara is immune to that. Obito has a soft heart, so he isn't

- Leafone is a reference to a certain apples related brand, because it's funny to imagine old man Madara with a smartphone

- I forgot to mention but in all my AU whether they are posted or not Obito ends up calling Deidara "love" given that their relationship progresses to this phase, that's the nickname he's dreamed of giving to his one and only loved one

- some gaming lingo thrown here and there, but yes, Obito and Deidara love playing videogames together. one of the things that they do on the lazy weekends

- I did mention that Deidara was adopted by Kurotsuchi's family, but she doesn't see anyone except for her as her relatives really

- canonically Deidara flies 24/7, so it made sense to give her a pilot license lmao

- even if I write Madara as this iredeemabble evil, he did actually miss Obito a lot and expected him to properly return like a good grandchild he is, but then all of the sudden all of his plans are ruined because apparently Obito decided that he wants to marry someone🙄🙄🙄🙄

- on that note grandpa is also pretty sexist and racist lol. that's why he only talks with Obito and opts for ignoring Deidara outright. I do imagine that people from different countries in Naruto world have different accents, so grandpa pokes at that too

- because Obito was gone for years, Madara's yaoi collection has exponentialy expanded. he reads/watches it with something like "it could have been us Hashi fr😭😭😭😭". he also doesn't really like Fugaku's family, so he ended up alone with just his collection and his army. you can see why he's getting more and more insane in his family's eyes

- "good thing to know that the old guy wasn't connected to yakuza or something like that. After having to grow up in Onoki's vicinity, she wouldn't disregard such a possibility easily." - similarly to how canon Onoki uses Akatsuki, a terrosist organization, for his goals, here Onoki might have also dabbled in questionable solutions to his issues

- a lot of old people I know end up picking up gardening as their hobby. Madara is no exception to that lmao, so the Zetsu army transforms into a large cacti collection. I have no clue about how cacti multiply, so let's all assume that Black Zetsu is the oldest cacti of them all. He's also dead and really belongs in the trash, but Madara for some reason keeps him around. Guruguru is a straight up different plant (I google a twirly plant and that's pretty much the first thing that came up), it's a gift from Obito who also thought it's a cactus (it's not).

- on that note Madara doesn't bother with naming them really.

- lowkey Deidara is scared that Obito would have to inherit the Zetsu army eventually

- "Are you trying to inform me that you've still got two eyes after you stunt in Iwagakure? Color me surprised." - while techically Kannabi bridge wasn't Land of Earth per say, we certainly all remember a certain stunt that left Obito without an eye after getting to spend some time with some guys from Iwa

- Madara for years had a hatelove thing for Hashirama. unfortunately for him Hashirama was as dense as Obito sometimes is, so he never properly picked up on that, pretty happy with his wife Mito (who Madara treats as his enemy number 1)

- "a bony finger is thrust right into Obito's face, Deidara almost jumps to try and protect him from losing his left eye" - the very same one that Obito canonically loses

- "This feels like those ridiculous M rated comics Kurotsuchi loved to buy, something with the name "A Ninja Warlord Dies And Reincarnates In Our World Before Falling In Love With Another Average Guy" or something." - it was at this point that I decided that Kurotsuchi being a fujoshi and Deidara being an artist for such content would be the single funniest dynamic imaginable. let girls have hobbies. also yes a reference to canon Madara.

- "grandpa would spend all the time just complaining about how everything Senju-san ever did was wrong, go to a lot of his lectures, even crash Senju-san's granddaughter's wedding." - yep, that's Tsunade and Dan. at least in some universe they get to be together, even if an old wild man ends up crashing on their special day

- "Obito looks like he has just witnessed his crush getting murdered by his best friend." - you know exactly what moment this refers to.

- "Cacti certainly don't appreciate their master's grandson's dramatic outburst." - BSSM AU Zetsus do anger management classes just to deal with Obito's bullshit lmao

- "Just this year she gifted me an album with all of my different expressions, and somehow on every single one of them she's made me look five times as handsome as I am in real life!" - this is actually a reference to one of my most favorite fics for Obidei, but I'll talk about it on another day. in that fic Deidara used to hide his hobby of drawing, believing that Obito wouldn't support it and would forbid him from doing it. in the end, Obito ends up seeing the album with Deidara's drawings, including a very silly one with Obito being angry, all of which Obito absolutely loves

- by the end of the fic Madara actually refers to Deidara by her name for the first time. hooray. yaoi bonding

and that's it for "Dealing with the Devil"!

while I was writing my submissions for obidei week I stumbled upon this meme and almost fucking died, because it's literally just old man Madara from this fic

[italeteller]

Who do you think was the most wasted characters in Naruto? And just for fun, who's someone you think was actually used the perfect amount?

Woof, where to begin. Well, if you're talking about wasted female characters you gotta start with every single female character, I think

No, wait, granny Chiyo got it pretty good. She had her own personal arc, fought a main villain and went out on her own terms in a pretty emotional moment. Even when she got revived in the war she didn't get screwed over, which is pretty rare

Tayuya from the Sound 4 too. Yeah, she was only a disposable mook, but she had a badass design, some sick summonings, kicked Shikamaru's ass, and got killed by Temari. Short, sweet and to the point. The rest of the sound 4 as well were pretty good for being disposable mooks

All the jinchuriki except Naruto, Killer Bee and Gaara got screwed over too, literally offscreened and they got fuck all backstory or development. Same with the biju

The raikage and the tsuchikage got done decently well, though unfortunately I can't say the same about Mei Terumi, the mizukage and the only person in the series with two bloodline limits. You'd think someone like that would be front and center on every fight, showing her vast arsenal of elemental jutsu, but alas, she was a female character in Naruto, so she was fucked from the beginning

Danzo also got wasted. He was hyped as the dark face of the ninja world, and when he finally got some action it was with a hax Uchiha jutsu. And then he died with some half-assed bromance with Hiruzen

Karin, Jugo and Suigetsu got done dirty too. Karin specially, but the boys as well. It's a crying shame Jugo never got to meet the reincarnated Kimimaro, that would've been great to see

Kimimaro was actually used the perfect amount. He came, beat Naruto, served to show Lee's drunken fist, showed off the best level 2 cursed seal design, nearly killed Gaara and died like a beast. Respect

I feel like if we're talking about Naruto character we gotta add a third category besides "wasted" and "perfect" which would be "death by overexposure". Here would be characters like Orochimaru, who went from one of the best villains in the series to... uh... whatever the fuck he became when he got revived

Kabuto too. I don't like that he transformed himself into a dragon sage but it would've been a decent end for his story I think, trying to one-up Orochimaru and failing. Him getting a rushed redemption and ending up running an orphanage was. What the fuck were you thinking Kishi. Seriously

Minato would fall in the same category. Flashback!Minato is a spectacular ninja, truly deserving of the title of hokage. 4th ninja war Minato is lame, makes stupid names for his attacks, and got two power-ups he didn't need and shouldn't have gotten at all

Hot take maybe but I think Kakashi should've stayed dead after the Pain saga. He got one good moment after the war, which was his second fight with Zabuza, and that was it. The whole Obito storyline wasn't good for anybody (although it made one spectacular fight in the anime), and him choosing to become Hokage because Obito asked, when TSUNADE WAS RIGHT THERE was a very bitter pill

Oh yeah speaking of Zabuza and Haku, they both were great. Getting resurrected actually helped show how much Zabuza loved Haku and how much of a travesty the edo tensei jutsu was

Jiraiya was also done perfectly. Whether he was a good character and whether him being a pervert killed his likeability are debatable topics, but he was a good mentor, a great fighter and went down like the best, paving the path for Naruto. I only wish Pain had recovered his corpse and used it to invade Konoha, can you imagine the emotional damage?

Speaking of Naruto's mentors, I think Iruka was done pretty decently. He didn't get much, true, but what he got was generally good

Most of the Cloud guys were there for show, didn't really get to do much. Same with the Rock guys. Same with Kankuro and Temari (Temari should've gone with Chiyo and Sakura to fight Sasori). Oh yeah Team 8, the poster children for wasted potential, alongside their sensei Kurenai "benched for being pregnant" Yuhi

Kisame was done great, I think. Mysterious, massively powerful, kicked his cheating sword aside when it got too horny for Killer Bee's chakra, killed himself to avoid an info leak and even after death he got one up over the good guys

Itachi, not so much. He certainly got too much overexposure after his death. Sadistic criminal Itachi was great. Kind-hearted, super genius, had-the-qualifications-to-be-Hokage-at-12-years-of-age Itachi felt like too much

Oh yeah, here's a niche one: Hanzo of the Salamander. The guy who fought the young sannin to a standstill, who gave them the title of sannin, got revived, had an unnecessary flashback bromance to a samurai and incapacitated himself, and didn't get to do anything cool at all

And well, let's close on a controversial (maybe?) note. Both Naruto and Sasuke got death by overexposure. Sasuke's storyline was way more of a mess than Naruto's but neither of them were good

[rozaceous]

Road to Ninja!Mariko? Or maybe a zombie apocalypse au Mariko? I’m sorry I only have very stupid ideas.

An AU where she is reincarnated earlier in canon? Like around 2nd or 3rd war?

anon, you had no way of knowing this, but my original naruto oc was not in fact mariko, though the two share any number of traits! i ended up abandoning that line bc i couldn't wrangle the amnt of foreknowledge required to make canon come out vaguely canon-like, my ideas about canon kept evolving, and there wasn't a plot so much as a few scenes i had in mind.

but here, have nohara yua, who got assigned to uchiha shisui's genin team. (yes, that nohara) she's end-of 3rd war era, approximately, bc kishimoto's timeline is...flexible. i know this isn't quite what you were poking at, but it's what i've got so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yua all but slams down the last of the dishes on the puny dining table in Sasuke's puny apartment before slamming herself down in front of it all.

"All right, kid," she says, starting to serve herself from the pot of stew. Sasuke warily follows suit. "We're gonna have a talk, and it'll be a bit gross because feelings are a thing, but bear with me. Itadakimasu."

"Itadakimasu."

Yua prods her stew until it's fully mixed with her rice. "Right. So, excepting my older sister with whom I do not get on most days ending in a y, and a friend who's probably crazier than me, I've basically lost everyone I've ever loved. Family, friends, mentors--my heart's a graveyard. And this isn't my idea of attempting compassion," she says warningly, not missing Sasuke's sudden curled lip. He frowns at her instead, caught out. "I'm telling you this because you should know from the get-go that I'm not what you might call emotionally stable. On the other hand, most shinobi aren't, but then again, most aren't quite the level of fucked up I've attained. Though I can name a few. Whatever. That said, I'm also really fucking good at my job."

She shovels a couple of bites into her mouth while Sasuke looks on with an expression of vague disgust at her lack of manners. Yua doesn't give a shit.

"The Academy's probably going to be doing away with early graduation entirely pretty soon since we aren't in wartime and no one wants to chance repeating your precious brother--" Sasuke flinches almost imperticibly and Yua tramples on "--but with that caveat, I graduated at the age of nine, got promoted to Chunnin at ten, and was a jounin by the time I was fourteen. I made the bingo books when I was twelve, and right now I'm listed anywhere from B to S rank. Depends on the country, but Suna's shit and practically lives to piss me off, so the day they give me the satisfaction of treating me like a real threat is the day they get snow in their forecast. They're just bitter that I'm better at wind jutsu than them anyways. Iwa and Kiri are better, though, they take me seriously and have a pretty accurate take on my abilities between the two of them.

"My honest self-assessment is that I'm A to S rank, depending on what type of work you're looking for. I'm not an all-rounder by any means. My taijutsu is decent, bukijutsu is acceptable, and my genjutsu are good but my repertoire is pretty small. I'm ninjutsu type, through and through, and that much I'm damn good at. There's maybe two ninja in the village that can give me a run for my money in ninjutsu, and one of them's the Hokage."

Sasuke has virtually abandoned his stew to stare at her beadily, interested despite himself.

"Now I did all that without any bloodline bullshit, without clan techniques, and almost exclusively being self-taught. And since you're clearly wondering why the fuck I'm telling you my résumé, I'll say: if you wanna learn, I'll teach you."

Sasuke's eyes flare wide and, never one to miss an opportunity to pause dramatically, Yua takes another couple bites.

"Why would you teach me?" Sasuke demands as soon as it's clear that she's not immediately going to explain herself. "I barely even know you."

Yua chokes on a laugh while mid-chew and then starts coughing. She ends up having to gulp water to clear her esophagus.

"Yeah, that's true enough," she admits once she has herself under control. "I've got no credentials as a teacher, either; I've always sort of brushed off taking on a genin team even though I'm sure I'd like it. Partly it's because once you teach someone something, even though you're technically responsible, you've got no control over how they use what you've taught them. Students go errant all the time. And partly it's that I'm an emotionally stunted softie who would imprint all over a bunch of baby genin and mother them within an inch of their lives.

"But I'm still hoping that you'll take me on, kid. Itachi wants to fuck up our lives? Fuck that, I say. He wants you to get strong, to live like shit, all full of unhappiness and hate just to have the chance of taking him in a fight?" Sasuke's hand is white-knuckled over his spoon. "Fuck that," Yua says passionately. "Fuck that asshole and fuck what he wants. I'll make you strong enough that there won't be a damn person in the world, not Itachi or anybody, who can tell you how to live your life. Because if I can give you my skill set, your eye magic baloney combined with the fact that you've got talent in spades and a damn good work ethic will mean that you'll be virtually untouchable."

It's true, too. A Sharingan user with perfect chakra control would be able to steal and then duplicate any jutsu like Kakashi on steroids because of the lack of chakra drain from being able to properly turn off the doujutsu and the efficiency in performing those jutsu. A Sharingan user with perfect chakra control who can use substitution jutsu so well that it's basically teleportation? Unmatched versatility in attacking, superior speed, evasion, illusions-- the word invulnerable comes to Yua's mind.

---

Yua decides that it's time to step in when Naruto is unconscious at Sasuke's feet and the transformation granted by the curse mark starts to recede from his body. She substitutes from her place in the trees to a spot atop the water in his line of sight, just far enough away that he isn't going to feel provoked. Nonetheless, he jolts when he sees her, and she feels the chakra rising in him as though to attack.

"Calm down," she says quietly, words nearly lost in the crashing rush of the waterfall behind her.

Sasuke's hands return to his side, but they're clenched into fists and he regards her warily.

"Yua." His voice is raspy, a little dull. And no wonder, if he's just finished attempting to beat the life out of his best friend only for his tutor to show up. "I'll fight you, too, if I have to."

There's no relish in the words.

"No," she says, still quiet, feeling like the moment deserves her solemnity. "I'd say you've demonstrated your resolve to leave. I won't be the one to drag you back."

---

Sasuke stares at Yua, feeling something almost like panic climbing up his throat.

"The--your mission--"

"Fuck the mission, Sasuke," she says gently, and her expression is sad but not accusing.

He doesn't understand. He'd steeled himself as soon as he'd seen her, knowing that for her to show up at such an opportune moment meant that she'd likely been watching the fight between him and Naruto and that she now has a perfect grasp of her surroundings and Sasuke's condition. And Sasuke knows that even if he were in top shape and had the full use of the curse mark, even if his chakra wasn't as weak as the flame of a candle, he would stand little chance against Yua. She'd shown him the gap in their skills often enough, after all, and she's the one that he's closest to ever since everyone died, the one who made sure he ate well and did his homework and got enough rest, who taught him chakra control and how to shunshin, who calls him things like Little Duck and ruffles his hair no matter how much he protests. Naruto may be his friend, but Yua is the closest thing to family that he has left, is the person with the strongest claim to him, the one most likely to make him return, either through force or personal ties.

Even so, he'd been willing to fight.

So for her to stand before him now and announce that she's abandoning the mission that so many of his peers have hurt themselves over, that she'll ignore the orders of her Kage with ease, and all of it without the faintest trace of judgment on her face after he's tried to kill his best friend--he's just like Itachi who stole Shisui from her--

Yua must understand whatever his features are telling her without words, because she says, "I told you at the beginning that the danger of teaching is that the teacher has no control over how the student uses what they're taught."

Students go errant all the time, his memory echoes, as if summoned by her reminder. He feels it like a punch to the gut. He'd known, before, that he was essentially betraying her by leaving Konoha for Orochimaru, but now he knows it the same way that he knows one of his ribs is fractured.

"But I also told you," she says, "that I wanted you to be strong enough that no one could tell you how to live your life. And that's what I want, for you to have the power to make your own destiny. And you think that Orochimaru has something that no one else does. That his offer of power is unique, superior. So, as the one who promised that to you initially, I apologize for failing you."

And she inclines her head--Yua bows her head--

"Stop," he says in a gasp, and there's moisture building in his eyes. If it sounds like he's begging, it's because he is, because if Yua keeps talking, keeps forgiving him, then his resolve will fail him and everything will have been pointless.

"No," she says, with sudden firmness, and she stares him straight in the eye. "You're choosing your own fate, Sasuke, and I won't resent you for it. This is the path you're walking now, and you can't turn back, you can't be swayed. That's what it means to tangle with destiny--there's no room for regret. And if you're going to Orochimaru, there can't be a single doubt in your heart."

"But why?!" The question rips out of him in his desperation to understand. "After all of this, after everything, why would you let me go?! How can I--how--you--"

"Because I love you," she says without hesitation, even though he sees the glossy film covering her eyes and starting to stick to her lashes. The ferocity of her words takes him aback as much as the content. Literally, too; Sasuke takes a half-step back. "Love is the tie that binds us to one another, but it's not a chain. And anyways, I promised you freedom."

Yua starts to walk towards him, and he stands frozen beside Naruto's unconscious form until she's right in front of him. He thinks, somewhat hysterically, that he really doesn't stand a chance against Yua in a fight if all she has to use is a few words before he's as paralyzed as a fearful rabbit. Naruto--and he forces down an absurd giggle--could stand to learn from her.

She pulls him into her chest tightly and he's helpless against her. No matter that she's only barely taller than him now, no matter the muscle and experience he's gained; she overpowers him.

The hand she has pressed to the back of his head trembles. And then, before he's had time to relax into the embrace, she releases him.

"Take care," she says, and a pair of tears streak down past the purple marks on her cheeks. Sasuke studiously ignores the damp spot he's left on her shoulder.

"I--I will," he says.

They stare at each other for a long moment, each aware that they won't be seeing one another any time soon, and that the next time they meet they may very well be on opposing sides. Sasuke feels something burning deep in his chest, something that's been aflame ever since he'd started fighting Naruto in earnest. It hurts him, warms him; he feels like he's going to choke.

"Now get outta here, kid."

Still helpless against her, he listens.

---

Yua's washing her parents' and sister's headstone like she has every fourth Friday for the past several years when Kakashi finds her. She hands him a soft brush; she's learned to bring more than one.

Kakashi, faintly smudged with dirt and smelling of tree sap and algae and sweat, takes it from her wordlessly, crouching and dousing the brush in her bucket of water. His strokes across the stone are precise and thorough, practiced, and they work in quiet symphony for several minutes.

Finally, he leans back on his heels and says, "I thought you were going to talk some sense into him."

If it's not anything to do with work, Kakashi tends to say only exactly as much as he has to, speaking in bare thesis statements without the supplementary paragraphs that show how he's reached his conclusions, and as such, Yua has become extremely good at reading between Kakashi's lines.

Sasuke is gone, and Kakashi doesn't know why she didn't do more to stop him.

She exhales slowly and with purposeful evenness, offering respectful attention to the characters of her mother's name as she washes them. "I think Sasuke is operating from a different definition of sensible."

Kakashi's snort lacks humor.

"He's no fool, Kakashi," she says lowly. "Rash and impulsive, sure, but not stupid. I'm sure he knows exactly what he's walking into. Orochimaru's made no secret of wanting Sasuke's body for his own."

"I fail to see how giving Orochimaru the precise thing he wants fits any definition of sensible," Kakashi says dryly.

"There's a three-year timeline before Orochimaru can take another body," Yua contradicts. "And I think that for Sasuke it'll be plenty of time."

"For?"

"Becoming strong enough to kill Orochimaru and eliminating the threat against him altogether." Kakashi's head turns to her slightly, but Yua only notes the motion in her peripheral vision. "For better or worse, Konoha's changed since either of us were genin. At his age, I was a chuunin in the bingo books of all the major countries and you were a jounin. Don't get me wrong, in terms of comprehensive skill level, Sasuke is above where I was, but I would've won in a fight because of experience. Experience is a hard teacher, but if you manage to survive it, there's nothing better. And with that stupid curse mark and the certain knowledge that he's targeted by Orochimaru, how much field work could Sasuke really have been guaranteed?"

Kakashi's gaze on her is wary, but he doesn't interrupt.

"If he'd stayed, Sasuke would've been trained to the bone, but he would've been coddled from the world outside the village," Yua says. "And Orochimaru's already breached Konoha's defenses, has killed the Kazekage and the Sandaime Hokage. There's no guarantee that he wouldn't do something equally drastic again for the chance of getting at Sasuke, with no attention to collateral damage. And besides, if we were truly capable of keeping him safe, he wouldn't have that curse mark in the first place. So I'd say Sasuke is taking a lot of factors into account."

Kakashi sighs, running a hand through his messy stack of hair. Yua glances over, intrigued as always at the sight. If his hair is stiff and voluminous enough to defy gravity as it does, how does his hand not get caught?

"Then I guess I'm having a hard time accepting that my student is relatively safer in the hands of the S-class nuke-nin that wants to throttle his soul and possess his body," he bites out. "Especially since I like to think that between the two of us, even Orochimaru wouldn't be too much to handle."

"I'm retired from field work," Yua reminds him, though in truth she's warm at the open expression of respect at her abilities considering how long it's been since they've worked together.

Kakashi gives her a flat look. "I seem to remember you holding your own during the Crush just fine."

"I suppose," she says blandly. "But the fact of the matter is that Sasuke doesn't think that he has anything left to learn from me. And maybe he's right; there's only so many chakra control exercises I can give him. I'm in no position to offer field work."

"There was an easy way to change that and you know it."

Yua drops her brush and pours the remaining water over the stones. Some of it splashes at her bared toes. Kakashi offers his brush back and it clatters into the bottom of the bucket.

She joins Kakashi in resting in a squat, butt nearly touching the ground and her arms crossed over her knees, chin resting upon them.

"My goal in teaching Sasuke was to make him strong enough to choose his own destiny. And what he does with what I've taught him has always been his decision."

"Yua--"

"Was I supposed to drag him back?" Yua interrupts, surly. "He's demonstrated his resolve to leave, I'd say. I couldn't love that boy more if he were my own flesh and blood, but I'm not going to chain him down based on some hypocritical idea of what I think is best for him. I can only trust that I've taught him well enough that he'll make it. The other option is despair and agony and I've had enough of that for my lifetime, thanks very much."

She presses her eyes into her forearms. "I've made, Kakashi. I kept him as safe as I could all this time, I trained him and made sure he ate properly, I taught him how to keep house for himself, asked about his grades in school and what he learned in class. But never once did I tell him about my true motive in retiring to hospital work. I wasn't as honest as I should have been, and part of me--I want Sasuke in my life forever, but part of me is glad he's gone so I don't have to worry as much about the fallout of my actions. And part of me is scared of what he'll do when he finds out what I've kept from him."

There is, for a long moment, silence.

"You've always acted according to Sasuke's best interests." Kakashi's voice leaves no room for rebuttal. "If you weren't honest with him, it's because it wasn't safe. You know that as well as I do--better, even, so don't go beating yourself up about it. No one expected you to take care of Sasuke and no one would have asked it of you, but you stepped in where no one else did. You've done a good job with him, Yua, and if you're saying that you think he's strong enough to make it on his own, I'm sure he'll come out on top. Though I don't like it.

"And as for what'll happen when he finds out the truth…" Yua dares to peek up from her arms as Kakashi pauses, and he treats her to an eye smile. "Maa, don't underestimate how much that brat loves you, too."

"Tch." But despite the lingering sense of anxiety, Yua does feel comforted. And then she snickers. "Look at us, having a conversation about feelings like emotionally competent adults. Is there snow soon?"

"You can speak for yourself," Kakashi says primly. "I am certainly not and never plan to be something so dull and mature-sounding as emotionally competent. It's likely dreadful and far too much work. Besides, I have an image to maintain."

"Yes, heaven forbid that I mar your reputation as the Angst Lord of Konoha."

"Precisely."

"My name is Hatake Kakashi, and I like the gloom. My dislikes are sunshine and good cheer. Hobbies include brooding over my tragic past and staring moodily off into the distance. I have no dreams for the future because hope is a delusion for those too afraid to engage with the despair that is reality."

"You know me so well."

Yua laughs.

---

Tsunade hasn't been back in Konoha for very long, but she's been around long enough to hear about how Konoha's once-notorious Nohara Yua, whose fame had reached even derelict pubs and casinos, had turned into the sweet-mannered, harmless-looking woman barely past girlhood that had first greeted Tsunade upon her arrival in the village hospital. Well, Tsunade has nothing against sweet manners or looking harmless, acknowledges their advantages, even, but Nohara Yua had embodied those qualities to the extent that Tsunade had started to think that the girl who had been renowned as the Windwalker and internationally feared as a ninjutsu master had been the result of overblown rumor, carefully planted misdirection, and willful blindness.

Initially, Tsunade had found her to be a competent enough doctor, and generally inoffensive. Upon learning who exactly had briefed her on her new patients' statuses and given her the rundown on current hospital procedures, the cognitive dissonance had been so great that she'd had to be assured that yes, it was that Nohara Yua. No, really.

And the nurse assuring Tsunade had, with the reluctance born of politeness and the thoroughness born of a love for gossip, told an astonished Shizune and skeptical Tsunade in an undertone why the Windwalker was working as a member of hospital staff. And then Tsunade had been well aware that she was in no place to make comments about lifestyle choices after losing a lover.

Still, that the woman apparently took on D-rank home repair missions as a hobby did not inspire Tsunade to believe that Nohara was ever anything other than a reasonably talented kunoichi whose offensive abilities had been rather exaggerated, both out of strategic convenience and a desire by other kunoichi for a female figure to look up to as the next--well, her. And even if Nohara had been as lethal as her reputation had painted her, Tsunade had been sure that that person was as dead as Uchiha Shisui, replaced by someone content to live out the rest of her life in a much quieter fashion.

But Tsunade only had been sure because right now the woman in question is standing in front of her desk next to Hatake Kakashi, explaining oh-so-succinctly about the steaming pile of shit that Hiruzen-sensei had left her to inherit, the ooze and stench of which is still far from stale for all that the rug has been thrown over it for almost half a decade. The same festering dung heap that Nohara has apparently been investigating secretly and under her own initiative, with no one but Hatake in the know, for the last four years.

"So let me get this straight," Tsunade says, in the full knowledge that she'll be getting absolutely plastered later this evening no matter what Shizune has to say about it. "The Uchiha were planning a coup against Konoha leadership."

"Yes."

"And the Sandaime was aware of this."

"Yes."

"And not only did Itachi not go insane and kill his entire clan, but he was acting under orders. From Danzo. Whom Itachi believed to have the Hokage's approval."

"Yes."

"And Itachi is now acting as an undercover agent without a handler in the international terrorist organization known as Akatsuki."

"That's correct."

"While Danzo is currently operating a secret military organization within Konoha itself, which answers only to him, and which the Sandaime falsely believed to have been dissolved as he ordered several years ago."

"Yes."

"And this organization has infiltrated Konoha's active forces on every level with no one the wiser, and has been taking and executing missions without official sanction."

Nohara's gaze slides to the alcove of Tsunade's office, where the ANBU agent on duty is hidden under seal--oh fucking shit--

"ANBU Cat is someone I trust with my life," Hatake inserts smoothly.

"What a fucking relief," Tsunade snarls. "Cat, get over here."

Cat is crouched in front of her in a flash.

"Get that decorative plate off your face, Cat," she snaps. Cat follows her instruction with admirable speed and Tsunade looks into the unassuming features of a man approximately Yua's age who is clearly struggling to master some kind of emotion that makes him look extremely nauseous. "Your name, Cat. Not ANBU designation."

"Tenzou, Hokage-sama."

"Right. Tenzou. How long have you served in ANBU?"

"Seven years, Hokage-sama."

"Long enough to have known Uchiha Itachi."

"We were briefly on the same ANBU team, Hokage-sama, along with Kakashi-senpai and Yua-senpai."

"And do the events that Nohara has just finished describing sound plausible to you?"

Tenzou's eyes lower momentarily before conscientiously returning to meet her gaze. "They sound as plausible as Itachi having a violent mental break, Hokage-sama."

"And do you know of this organization called ROOT?"

In response, Tenzou opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out as far as it will go. For one horrible second Tsunade flounders, wondering if this is some faddish gesture she's too old to understand, and then she sees the seal.

"That bastard," Tsunade whispers.

Nohara snorts. "Yeah, he likes to seal up the tongues of anyone who does work for him so they can't blab. Most of my investigation into ROOT has been looking at what should be there, not what is. You find it by spotting the empty space.

"I know that he has shinobi that he's trained specifically for years, and then there are others who have engaged in missions with him thinking that they're partaking in some extra black black ops, not aware that they're doing anything that isn't perfectly legitimate, if secret beyond all reason. Kakashi got sucked in years ago, before he realized that Danzo was operating off books, and Danzo dropped him like a hot cake and left him to fester under that godforsaken seal. Recon work has been a bitch."

"If your goal was to squirrel out ROOT, why didn't you return to ANBU?" Tsunade questions narrowly. "Surely it would have been easier to gather intelligence while on Danzo's recruiting grounds."

Nohara stills, looking discomfited for the first time. "There were several reasons," she says finally. "Part of it is that I wanted to be there for Sasuke, and having a set schedule at the hospital and no missions taking me out of the village made that considerably easier. Part of it's that I want Danzo to think I'm none the wiser to his schemes, and I'd say I've done a good job of being soft and overly emotional, exactly like he hates in shinobi. And then, well, I honestly wasn't in any shape to take on ANBU work." Nohara clenches her hands at her sides, and her stare is borderline defiant. "My partner had just died under suspicious circumstances, my friend and captain had killed his clan and turned missing-nin. Not to mention, I'd just finished recovering from a mission that I'm pretty sure was supposed to off me. Bluntly, I was a fucking mess."

Hatake slides Nohara a look and Tenzou does the same, though Tenzou's look has the distinct tinge of pity whereas Hatake's is merely assessing.

"Mostly though," Nohara continues, "I no longer had faith in the Hokage. Shisui went to the Sandaime about the coup, and the next thing I knew, Shisui was dead and the Uchiha clan was gone. Things had gone extremely and terribly wrong and I knew that either the Sandaime was in on it, or he'd been too ineffective to prevent it. I could never betray the village that Shisui loved so much, that my family died to protect, but neither could I serve under Sarutobi Hiruzen."

Tsunade understands her phrasing perfectly. The village that her entire family--barring one estranged sister--had died for. The village that Shisui had loved. Not Yua.

"I can understand using Sasuke's departure from the village as the the impetus for bringing this to my attention," Tsunade says slowly. "But I have to ask the question: what do you plan to do if I don't pursue your investigation? What if I decide to leave things buried, or even to silence everyone in this room?"

Hatake freezes entirely, expressionless, and Tenzou's eyes widen.

Nohara merely blinks.

"I came to you with this information because I think that you have a sense of justice," she says. "The Sandaime was too focused on mercy, not realizing that mercy without justice is nothing but weakness. Honestly, I think the man was a coward. But you know the pain that I know, Tsunade-sama, and you left Konoha because you couldn't abide the senselessness of the loss, and I think that you're back because you want to see that loss made meaningful. And if that's the case, if what I hope and think about you is correct, then I'm ready to serve you in whatever capacity you think best without reservation.

"But if not." Nohara's voice doesn't harden or raise, her face doesn't shift. Even so, the room feels a degree colder. "Even heaven won't stop me, Tsunade-sama. I'm not interested in revenge, but if you deny justice to me, to Sasuke and Itachi and all the dead, then there will be no stopping me. I won't let anyone demean the ideal that every shinobi on the Memorial Stone died to honor and uphold. I won't let the Konoha that so many have fought and hurt for turn into an empty shell, devoid of meaning. I've done my best these last few years to work so that this wrong can be resolved as peacefully as possible. And even if I let it be a convenient face, I've genuinely tried to live gently and kindly. But in the end, I'm a shinobi. If it means that I can look the boy I raised in the eye, if it means I can take my friend's hands and let him put down his sword, and if it means that when I die I can say to my parents and my sister and my partner that nothing they suffered was in vain, then I will use every scrap of knowledge and strength I possess for violence, and I won't hesitate to cut down you or anyone who stands in my way."

Silence reigns, and Tsunade doubts that her left eyebrow has ever strained so high. Yes, the woman before her is certainly no accommodating doctor. This is a woman who is every bit the efficient killer of her mythology and then some, crafty and slippery and with a diamond will.

She scoffs. "I'll consider myself warned, then."

[parafic]

Happy Halloween! Go write 100 words of (fantastic communication, guys) and typhoon island~☆

And, if not too much, maybe trick or treat - kagami demands rescuing?

Thank you!

fantastic communication, guys:

When he finds him, Tobirama is standing on a river, arms folded and glaring at him.  It’s not the Naka, only a much smaller tributary, but the threat is still very clear. Hikaku drops out of the trees and walks slowly to the bank of the river.  “Tobirama-san,” he calls. Tobirama’s eyes narrow. Not very open to being persuaded, then.  Still, Hikaku has to try.  “Can we talk?” The glare weakens, but Tobirama remains on the water.  “Talk all you want.” “I was hoping for a conversation,” Hikaku says, and Tobirama’s eyes narrow again. Hikaku would really prefer not to drown, but he’s fairly confident that Tobirama won’t kill him on purpose.  Certainly not outside of a fight.  Instinctive reactions, misjudging Hikaku’s ability to dodge or defend, that might happen, but Tobirama probably won’t attack unprompted.  So, despite Hikaku’s better instincts, he makes his way slowly out to a rock in the middle of the river and sits down.  It’s still a bit far to be called a conversational distance, but close enough he won’t have to raise his voice.

Typhoon Island:

“I’m going to check the bodies,” Izuna says.  “Hikaku?” “We’ll help,” Hikaku says.  “Ruri, Kagami, can you work together to collect their weapons?  Make sure not to cut yourself.” “Their weapons aren’t very good,” Ruri says. “It’s still best to collect them,” Hikaku says.  “Lower quality weapons can still be used, and it will keep the weapons out of enemy hands.” Ruri glances in Tobirama’s direction and nods quickly.  She grabs Kagami’s hand and pulls him along with her. Going over the bodies is much slower with Kagami and Ruri’s “help” than if Hikaku were working on his own, but this is as much about keeping the kids busy while they wait for Tobirama as anything.  It’s not as though it’s a mystery why bloodline thieves targeted Uchiha children.

Trick or Treat: Kagami demands rescuing:

Oh I have so much to ramble about this one, you definitely get to decide if a textwall is a trick or a treat. So it's kind of like... my thing, going all the way back to when I was 15 and writing Death Note fic, to take a Fandom Standard trope/premise and dig into it. Really obsessively think about how it would work, and the consequences and consequences-of-consequences, and so on. I didn't get to do it much in Girl Genius fandom, partly because that fandom was small enough there weren't so many Fandom Standards that had been done many times like that, but BSAU blessed Tobirama is a good example of me doing this with the blessed Tobirama/blessed red eyes trope, and (fantastic communication, guys) is this with marriage hunts. So obviously Kagami Demands Rescuing is this, for the 'Tobirama rescues Kagami/an Uchiha child, thus ending the war' premise. Because I love those fics, but at the same time, I feel like it's not something he'd be very likely to actually do. Tobirama as a character is very... like, what he's Supposed To Do (and Be) is pretty crucial to him, if that makes sense. Hashirama is the Senju Clan Head, but that's just like, his day job. It puts some limits on what he can do but mostly they're practical limits like 'can't run away to the other side of the continent because I have to be here.' Tobirama builds a lot more of himself and his decisions around what's Expected Of Him as a Senju (and later Konoha) shinobi, and what he considers the ideal for a Senju/Konoha shinobi. All of which adds up to: I really don't think that, while they're at war, he'd be likely to save any Uchiha no strings attached. He might want to, walking away from an endangered (Uchiha) child might give him trauma and years of nightmares, but I think he'd still do it, because that's what's Best For The Senju Clan. It is possible for him to think he should do something and not be able to actually bring himself to do it when the time comes, but I feel like he'd still be more likely to just walk away from the situation than to go out of his way to help. (To be clear: I still love fics where he does rescues an Uchiha anyway, there are so many amazing fics with that premise. I just push a little mental 'AU where Tobirama will choose his morals (Save The Child) over his principles (Do What's Best For The Senju)' button in my head. Also shoutout to A Soft Green Glow for pulling off Tobirama rescuing Izuna so well that I didn't even need the button, without even being from Tobirama's POV, it's such an amazing fic.) But he's also very, very smart. And we probably all know that tidbit about conspiracy theories and cults and how smart people can be really, really good at justifying a decision they want to make. So the question becomes how Tobirama would justify saving an Uchiha while they're enemies. One option is for him to save them, then take them home as a prisoner and make the Uchiha ransom them back. The Uchiha owe him for rescuing whoever, the Senju at minimum make a profit, and maybe he can learn some useful information along the way, so saving an enemy is justified. But I like that better with him rescuing an adult Uchiha; when he's rescuing Kagami part of the appeal is them bonding, which is probably not going to happen if Tobirama is also kidnapping Kagami. (Although a fic about them figuring out how to be teacher and student in Konoha afterward would be fun.) So to write a fic about Tobirama rescuing Kagami I needed a different justification. "Hashirama would want it" and "the Uchiha will owe us" both help, as does "we're in a general lull in hostilities right now and I don't want to make the war re-escalate" but I wanted a bit more to nudge Tobirama from 'I will leave the Uchiha alone' to 'I will actively help the Uchiha'. And that's why Kagami is demanding the rescuing.

And while we're at it: boop