#the two primary movies and kind of isolation

[girlwiththegreenhat]

hey when they wrote "knight behind bars" and they wrote kitt helping a couple get together and they gave him the line "Some day, it will be my turn" [to find love]. did they know what they were doing. did they know that in some 40 years some gay autistic robot-obsessed little freak on tumblr would not stop thinking about it for weeks and write literal dozens of paragraphs screaming about it on discord. did they know they were going to ruin Me, Specifically, with this concept that feels like the culmination of everything kitt has gone through through the show and such a fascinating thing to think about in regards to michael and kitt's relationship,

one of the themes of knight rider is kitt developing as a Person, developing a line between the Knight Industries Two-Thousand, and Kitt. discovering humanity, his own emotions, the joys of the seemingly and logically pointless, and often through the lens of his own driver, his partner, his friend, Michael - his primary guide through all these experiences, his reference for those human things he doesn't understand. and as much as he initially claims to not be capable of experiencing emotions, of understanding feelings, he learns to. he experiences a wide range of emotions through the show even while claiming he doesn't, he even learns fear and insecurity. perhaps it's only natural a robot would learn to love, or at the very least be terribly curious about it and wonder if such a thing could ever exist for Him

the majority of people are not exactly kind to kitt. they talk about him like he's not there, they talk about him like he's a machine, a novelty, some people are even scared of or disturbed by him when all he's trying to do is make polite conversation and company. he's always Othered - there's no other cars like him (at least not anymore), but there's no other person like him either, he doesn't truly belong among humans or vehicles. some of the technicians at FLAG don't even seem to fully respect him as a person, at least they don't based on my vague recollection of how they talk about him in Junkyard Dog. when Michael asks him after KARR is destroyed if it feels good to be one of a kind again, he doesn't say yes or no - he only says it's a "familiar feeling." it may be familiar, but it's surely also isolating, and i think that's something he'd realize as he slowly picks up this curiosity about love. where could he even find it when so few people see him as an equal person to begin with?

and then there's michael. oh my god, and then there's michael. no matter what flavor you choose to read it in, the whole show is about their relationship, they're a duo, a set Not to be separated, they're Partners. they work together, they worry about and look after each other (forever insane about when kitt was a melted shell, Michael stuck around the garage for hours, waiting for any news like a worried spouse, constantly checking on him every opportunity he got... encouraging him to recover, and even helping paint back on his protective coating... kitt always looks after michael, but for once, it's michael's turn to look after Him), in a way they were Made for each other - Kitt more literally, being programmed for Michael and holding his namesake, but Michael was also made in a sense for the pilot program, hand picked and given a second life to work for the foundation and with this strange supercar. and even if they had a rocky start, michael comes to view kitt as a person - car, TV set, or computer core, Kitt is his partner, his buddy. he helps him find himself, guides him and teaches him about these things that make us human, and in a way, kitt becomes human - but his entire experience is still through the perspective of an AI in a car, it's still very unique and isolating, and I think he sort of grows into his own limitations, he's finally brushing against the walls that define him.

he learns of love, and then he learns to dream Of love. these things he sees in the movies, that michael tells him about, that he so often sees michael Partaking in that he gets so oddly jealous of, doesn't it all seem so wonderful? he's very curious. but who could ever love steel and circuitry, who could ever see him as an equal let alone a partner in a romantic sense? who would ever love a car and all the limitations That comes with? it's a problem for a hypothetical hopeful Some Day, in the meantime stuck between two worlds where he doesn't perfectly belong to either, where no car Can love him and no human seemingly Would love him...

and michael loves him anyway. before either of them really realize or talk about it, in spite of everything, in any form, regardless of the fact it wouldn't be a typical relationship by absolutely any means, michael loves him anyway. kitt is as much a person to him as bonnie or devon or RC, and that person is someone he loves and cares for deeply. the feeling is mutual, kitt's world revolves around michael, he's one of the most important people in kitt's life, and he'd do anything to protect him.

and it is michael that will finally teach him to love, and what it means to feel loved in turn, to be loved as the person he undoubtedly is.

[a-teacup-of-golden-cracks]

tw this is a trauma post but it's also a narrative I'm proud of. Suicide and self harm (mental and physical) will be mentioned.

To help those who aren't me understand, I think in part in references since it is both easier and more fun than creating original thoughts.

(1): reference to the videogame Omori

(2): reference to the movie The Dark Knight (take a guess as to why I like and relate to the joker)

(3): reference to a song I like (in order, HOPE by NF, Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park, Love the Subhuman Self by AISHA, Arc System Works, and Jamison Boaz)

(4): a random saying I heard and enjoyed

“No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man behind blue eyes. No one knows what it's like to be hated, to be fated to telling only lies”

“Behind blue eyes” by The Who

Welcome to the nonsensical abyss of my mind, you've been here as long as you can remember (1). By reading this you're getting to see my thoughts without translation. Nothing here makes sense to anyone except me, I make references others rarely understand. But allow me to tell the story of how what you see now came to be. You wanna know how I got these scars (2)? “I spent years of my life holdin’ on to things I never should've kept, full of hatred, years of my life wishin I was someone different looking for some validation.” (3)

Middle school was a special sort of subtle hell for me, it stole things without me noticing. First it was my feeling of impervious safety when a kid laughed at a genuine heartfelt remark I made. Then it was my trust that friends would never betray me and always respect me when they wouldn't stop making jokes at my expense. Slowly, steadily I descended into paranoia and loneliness, and thus my contentedness with life was stolen. The ax forgets yet the tree never does(4).

A secret hidden issue that I only found out this year was that the ADHD meds I needed to take to function may have been causing the paranoia to start with. I still don't know how to feel about that, that all my issues and trauma might stem from something that's not even real.

Once I started high school it became more and more apparent that nobody liked me. At least not for very long. I never learned to function in middle school so I was still struggling with what everyone else already knew and mastered. Giving a compliment and sexual harassment, would you like to know the difference? I would've but nobody told me until after I'd been punished.

Intent vs impact, I never intended to hurt anyone yet my impact was that I did more often than not. So I cut off the things that hurt people, removed them from my mind. Who needs humor? Not me if I can't use it right. Who needs to give compliments? Not me if I can't say it right. Who needs to hug people to show affection because it's your primary love language and you want to show everyone how much you like and appreciate them? …… not me…. if I must…. to not hurt them…

You see where my inner pain starts now? Where the scars in my mind begin? There were two things I could never bear to cut and slice away, my name and my kindness. Most trans people change their names to align more with their gender but I decided no. I am done changing things for other people to accept me more, they never do. My name is Daniel and it's the sum of my entire being. If I am non-binary, or a woman, or some eldritch horror that everyone fears and that has lost every shred of humanity because of the things I've endured, then my name represents all of that. It's not my issue if people make a poor assumption about my name because of what they think it should be.

Maybe I don't even want to be human anymore if all that humans have shown me is hate. All throughout high school it was nothing but hate or dislike shown to me, barely any kindness outside of my family. So I isolated myself from everyone, to avoid those who hated and to not burden my family with my issues. I'd handle it by myself like I always had in the past and I'd be ok.

I was not ok.

I was rageful. I was tearing myself apart more and more and more internally, only my desire to never hurt anyone kept me from tearing the school down brick by brick with all the students inside it. But maybe… could it be I was the exception and the problem? Could it be I'm the one who deserves to hurt for the pain I've caused? Should I hurt myself? And so I tried once, a good solid punch to the forehead that didn't make me feel any better and never tried again.

The pain I deserved wasn't physical, it was mental and so I gave myself infinite mental pain. What an idiot I was for giving that compliment when clearly in retrospect it was sexual harassment, what a dumbass I was for saying that joke, looking back I deserve to lose my entire friend group over it. Maybe I'd be better off if I didn't exist anymore if I caused more harm than good and could never seem to learn or improve. The thoughts I had then… and sometimes still now… it's so hard to remember that looking into the past makes everything obvious in the worst ways possible…

But there was a light eventually, someone who told me all that was wrong. Someone I met online and will never see in person, someone I messed up horribly with and yet she still forgave me. Thank you infinitely June. You showed me that monsters can be good.

So I steeled my resolve and used my rage at myself to look inward and outward and found that I was being mistreated and misunderstood. I shouldn't kill myself to not exist or hurt people because I would improve and I could make others improve. So I stood at the very last meeting in front of the whole school and spoke the truth of my mind with as much respect and rage as I could muster. So much pain and anger and hate and sadness I'd endured and I showed all of it to the entire high school of 300 people.

I've never felt more satisfied in my life than when the headmaster of the school himself asked if there was anything he could do for me and I said no. I've never felt more proud when I met with him two days later and asked for a neurodivergent support group to be created for the middle and high school, and he said yes. Half a year later my brother told me that the headmaster stuck to his word and did more than I asked. I never felt more vindicated than when I was told by my only friend that he'd heard people making school shooter jokes after I stood up and told my story.

And so I started to heal. My humor, I did need that. How could I be happy if I could never make myself laugh? My desire to give joy and be kind, I needed that. How could I not fulfill the purpose in life I'd made for myself? My ability to hug and love and be happy with others, I needed that. Desperately. “I want to heal, I want to feel what I thought was never real, like there was somewhere I belong.”(3) I just needed to find better people who understood. I reconnected with my family and told my pain and tried in every possible way to show how sorry and sad I was for cutting them off. I couldn't stitch the old bits back onto me but maybe I could grow something new. Something I wanted and I loved, for me.

I can never fully heal, that's why you see the holes in my form, but I've incorporated them now, so that they help me as much as they hurt. I carry on and love my subhuman self, accept me for me and go back to being with humans (3). I give them the kindnesses I can but only after I do that for myself. This is the kindness and respect I give to me, the biggest change I made, because I deserve it as much as everyone else. Now close your eyes and you'll leave this dream (1).

“But my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be.”

Behind Blue Eyes by the Who

[michaelcosio]

Why I Believe in Hell

by Alice Mills

Hell is a topic I have avoided till now, mainly because of its obvious nature, or so I thought. I recently noticed that several prominent Christians disavowed their faith because of their decision that hell doesn’t exist. I find this curious since the existence of hell appears clear to me. Don’t get me wrong. I find hellfire and damnation preachers tedious. Scaring people into heaven has proven generally ineffective.

Jesus mentions hell many times, which is enough for me. But the evidence of hell overwhelms me. I see it so clearly in myself, in others, and in this wonderful and terrible world we live in. I think we are all well-acquainted with the abyss. Perhaps we are so accustomed to it that we no longer recognize it for what it is. But even Jesus experienced hell, mainly so we wouldn’t have to after we die. But that doesn’t exempt us from the miseries that await us here. So here are the three primary glimpses into Sheol that each of us sees daily:

1: Our private hells:

Anguish is a part of the human condition. And so many kinds of suffering afflict each of us. Mental, physical, and spiritual anguish provide tastes of hell that are hard to rinse out of our mouths. Nothing in Genesis suggests God intended misery to be a part of the human experience. Still, interestingly, the humans chose it above Eden. Most theologians agree we choose to go to hell, but that is too easy of an answer. It doesn’t consider that circumstances beyond our control often force hell on us in this life. Nobody, for instance, chooses cancer, an experience most would agree is a nightmare.

I believe that when we experience pain, we experience a bit of death—suffering in all of its nuances forces on us the cup of tribulation. My abuse at the hands of my ex-husband is a hell I did and did not choose. I married him, yes. And stayed married too long. But I did not cause him to abuse me. That responsibility rests on him alone. The narcissistic abuse I endured was both a choice and not a choice, but it was hell either way.

And so we each have our abysses we fall into. Addiction, abuse, illness, mental illness, and the whole host of human agonies we each face in our turn. Is redemption possible for them? Absolutely. Jesus overturned the grave and made a mockery of it. The Kingdom of Heaven is here, he said. And just as hell awaits us every morning, so do the mercies of God.

2: The hells of others:

I am as affected by the suffering of others as I am by my own. With my children, perhaps more so. We do not exist in isolation, not really. While no one can fully share in our pain, the pain of others pierces us. Sometimes, that pain looks like empathy, a taking on of someone else’s anguish as our own. I recently saw the movie Cabrini. I highly recommend it. Mother Cabrini took on herself the suffering she saw around her in the Italian tenements of New York City.

Sometimes, we can intervene in the hell of others. Prayer, service, and relationship are the weapons against which hell often falls. Sometimes we cannot. Abusers, psychopaths, and dedicated criminals choose to be agents of the devil. We must fight against them to prevent them from causing harm to the innocent. Christians are often naïve in this fight. We want to look for the good in everyone and see our enemies as victims. But make no mistake. Heaven and hell are at war, and reconciliation of the two will never be on the table.

3: The hell we see around us:

One of the most apparent hells the Christian is called to fight is poverty. And poverty creates a hellish landscape all over the world. War, terrorism, and disease create nightmarish zones wherever they land. I think of the Holocaust, a time and place created for death. But the Holocaust doesn’t own hell. It is merely a more commonly cited manifestation of the pit on earth. Many such pits have existed throughout time. Many exist now. The enemy is always looking to expand his territory.

But I am not without hope. Just as the taste of death often lingers on my tongue, so do tastes of heaven. Miracles still happen. Love appears in my life every day. Truth shows up. My prayers get answered. Beauty surrounds me, even in ugly places. The Kingdom of Heaven is here, but we must usher it in. We must choose between life and death, heaven and the pit. Sometimes, we must fight, body and soul, against evil.

To give up a belief in hell is to give up the good fight. It is not enough to know what we fight for. Jesus fully knew what he was fighting against. I cannot imagine a Heaven with evil in it any more than I can imagine good without God in it. Heaven and hell are already here, and they exist in concrete realities, not abstractions.

Praise the Lord for overturning the curse. The Tree of Life is available to us once more. Adam and Eve ate from the wrong tree, but that doesn’t mean we have to. Hell will eventually claim its own, but I have tasted enough of it already. I am certain that I will experience its bitterness again in this life, but one day, the memory of it will be completely erased. And even now, I taste and see that the Lord is good, and his mercies endure forever.

[swan2swan]

Dipped my head beneath the surface of the Alien expanded universe and how in the world is Weyland-Yutani so incompetent, they’re sending expeditions to the Xenomorph homeworld and they still haven’t gotten one and/or wiped out the Earth? 

The species wants to get to Weyland-Yutani and they still can’t do it.

[thetypedwriter]

These Violent Delights Book Review

These Violent Delights Book Review by Micah Nemerever 

I love sharing my book opinions with others. One of the primary reasons I started this blog was to share my very strong 

feelings as I didn’t have many people in real life that I could do that with (or who were interested in listening). 

Throughout this experience, I’ve also loved listening to others and their opinions on books. Sometimes I agree with them, sometimes I vehemently disagree with them, and sometimes it’s a cacophonous mix of both. 

One bookstragrammer I like in particular shares my very opinionated feelings more often than not. So of course, the other day while browsing Instagram, I caught a post of hers asking the question: what book can you not stand others criticizing?

This really got me thinking, as there are a plethora of books I adore, but I’m not blind to their flaws. The Foxhole Court, for example, is a book series I’ve read over three times now, a series I’m obsessed with, and yet I completely understand why others don’t like it. 

The only book series that I could possibly see as fitting the question is Harry Potter. Now. I’ve met people who don’t like Harry Potter. That’s fine. 

However, I also have yet to meet a single person who has read all seven books and still disliked it. Usually people who dislike Harry Potter either haven’t read the books, didn’t finish reading the books, or have only seen the movies. I’m sorry (not sorry) to say, but those people don’t count.  

In the same vein, I was so incredibly curious to read a book that someone I admire claimed they hated seeing critiques of. 

Let me say right now: I hope they don’t see this review. 

These Violent Delights by Micah Nemerever is not to be confused with the Romeo and Juliet remake duology by the same name by Chloe Gong. The two books have nothing in common except for their title. 

These Violent Delights by Michael Neveremer is an odd little book about two teenage boys growing up in the 1970’s in Pittsburgh. 

As the two boys meet, named Paul and Julian respectively, they feel seen and understood by someone else for the first time in their entire lives. 

The book delves into the dangers of codependency, issues of isolation and elitism, and the toxicity in the belief that no one else can understand what the characters are going through. 

I do like the theme of this novel. I’m obsessed with the idea of someone feeling special or like they’re the exception. However, I usually like this (especially in Romantic pairings) in a positive way. 

For example, one partner doesn’t like sharing food with friends or family but will let their romantic partner get away with it. Something small and cute and worthless. 

This novel takes the idea of being the exception to intense and violent lengths as Julian and Paul do anything and everything to prove that they need nor want anyone but each other. 

Mental health, intelligence, philosophy, and justice all play a role as the two boys grow closer and closer with devastating consequences. 

This book, while entertaining in a dark and twisted kind-of-way, did make me want to keep turning the page as the book starts in medias res. 

The first chapter shows you exactly how far these boys will go and the whole book is you leading up to the moment of climax and the aftermath of the climax as you witness Paul and Julian dealing with the consequences of their actions. 

I know I haven’t been very detailed about what this book is or exactly what it’s about, but honestly, I’ve said almost all that I can. The book is less about plot points and specific timelines and more about the evolving relationship between Paul and Julian and the spiderweb effects it has both on them and the people around them.

This book is deeply psychological as well as thrillingly emotional. 

It’s dark and creepy and more often than not, perplexing and convoluted. 

Nemerever is a good writer, but at times I found him intentionally dense and confusing which I didn’t always appreciate while reading. I like the overall themes of this book and the ending was unexpected which is always, always a joy. 

However, this book didn’t have a happy ending. 

Maybe it was naive of me to think it would, but I still wanted it, no matter that these characters were too broken for something like a happy ending. 

Overall, I disagree with my bookstagrammer entirely. While I enjoyed the dark maelstrom that was These Violent Delights, I don’t think it was without fault. 

The sometimes pretentious writing, the inversion of a beloved trope, and the desolate ending all made me frown more than smile.

While the themes are very real and the book was richly driven by character relationships, it wasn’t enough at the end of the day to leave this book without any negatives. 

Recommendation: If you enjoy dark stories with ambiguous characters where the plot revolves almost entirely around the progression and dissolution of a very intimate, punishing, and toxic relationship this very well may be the story for you. For me, the writing was often confusing and the paltry ending left me dissatisfied and unhappy. If you can stomach not getting your “happy ever after” this twisted tale will keep you on the edge of your toes. 

Score: 6/10

[lokiondisneyplus]

Yes, Loki series director Kate Herron knows about your fan theory about the show, the analysis you posted to social media. No, she won’t tell you what she thinks about it, or whether you were right.

“I follow all the conversations on Twitter,” Herron told Polygon in an interview shortly after Loki’s season 1 finale. “I don’t always weigh in on them, because I made the show, so they don’t want me weighing in like, ‘Actually, guys…’ I think that’s the whole point of art — it should be up for debate and discussion.”

[Ed. note: Spoilers ahead for season 1 of Loki.]

Loki has been a hit for streaming service Disney Plus — episode 6 of the show, the final installment for this season, was reportedly watched by more households than any of the platform’s MCU finales to date. The series has been a popular source of fan conjecture and argument, with one particularly big rolling conversation focusing on whether the budding romantic relationship between trickster Asgardian Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and his alternate-universe counterpart Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino) is a form of incest.

Herron is willing to speak up about that one. “My interpretation of it is that they’re both Lokis, but they aren’t the same person,” she says. “I don’t see them as being like brother and sister. They have completely different backgrounds […] and I think that’s really important to her character. They sort of have the same role in terms of the universe and destiny, but they won’t make the same decisions.”

Herron says thematically, Loki falling for Sylvie is an exploration of “self-love,” but only in the sense that it’s Loki learning to understand his own motives and integrity. “[The show is] looking at the self and asking ‘What makes us us?’” Herron says. “I mean, look at all the Lokis across the show, they’re all completely different. I think there’s something beautiful about his romantic relationship with Sylvie, but they’re not interchangeable.”

Directing the final kiss between the two characters was a complicated process because it had to communicate something about each of them over the course of just a few seconds. Herron says the primary goal was creating a safe, comfortable environment for Hiddleston and Di Martino, and after that, she had to think about how to bring across Loki and Sylvie’s conflicting goals in that moment.

“It’s an interesting one, right?” she says. “Emotionally, from Sylvie’s perspective, I think it’s a goodbye. But it’s still a buildup of all these feelings. They’ve both grown through each other over the last few episodes. It was important to me that it didn’t feel like a trick, like she was deceiving him. She is obviously doing that, on one hand, but I don’t feel the kiss is any less genuine. I think she’s in a bad place, but her feelings are true.”

Herron says directing Hiddleston in the scene mostly came down to discussing the speech Loki gives Sylvie before the kiss. “That was really important, showing this new place for Loki,” Herron says. “In the first episode, he’s like, ‘I want the throne, I want to rule,’ and by episode 6, he isn’t focused on that selfish want. He just wants her to be okay.”

Loki writer and producer Eric Martin recently tweeted that he wished the show had been able to focus more time on two of its secondary characters, Owen Wilson’s Time Variance Authority agent Mobius M. Mobius, and Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s Ravonna Renslayer. “I wanted to explore her more deeply and really see their relationship,” he says, “But covid got in the way and we just didn’t have time.”

Asked if Loki and Sylvie’s relationship suffered from similar necessary edits, Herron says it’s true that the show’s creators and audience still don’t know everything Sylvie went through to make her so different from the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s original version of Loki. “We’ve seen her as a child, but she’s lived for thousands and thousands of years, in apocalypses on the run,” she says. “I think there’s so much more to delve into with Sylvie […] You’re filling in the blanks. You see [her on the planet] Lamentis, and it’s horrific. And you’re like, “Well, what kind of person would she be, growing up in apocalypses? What kind of personality would that give her?”

Herron says Sylvie’s backstory actually reminds her of the 1995 movie Jumanji, where a young boy is sucked into a magical board game in 1969, and emerges 26 years later as a full-grown man, played by with typical manic energy by Robin Williams. “It’s such a weird reference, but…” she says. “He’s a little boy when he ends up captive in that game, and when he comes out, it’s obviously been a life experience. With Sylvie, it’s similar. She was a child when she had to go on the run, so she’s had a very difficult life. I would love to see more of it. As Eric said, she’s a rich character, there’s so much to be explored.”

Herron says, though, that during her time on the show, material about Sylvie was added rather than cut — specifically, those scenes of her as a child, being kidnapped by the TVA. “This was before my time, but I know in the writers’ room, there were lots of avenues exploring Sylvie on the run and what her life was like,” Herron says. “I wouldn’t want to speak more to those, because I wasn’t there when they were being discussed. But something wasn’t in there that was important to me — I felt we should see her [history] in the TVA. Me and the team were talking about how it made complete sense, because episode 4 is all about twisting the idea that the TVA might be good on its head. And so that’s something that came in later, once I joined, was seeing her as a child. I think we needed to see that, not to understand her completely, but to get an idea of her motivations, why she’s so angry at this place.”

Talking more broadly about the series finale, Herron says the last few episodes weren’t as heavily referential as the first episodes, which she intended as “a love letter to sci-fi.” While early images like the TVA’s interrogation rooms had specific visual references from past science fiction, episode 6’s locations were drawn more from collaborations with the crew.

“The idea of the physical timeline being circular, our storyboard artists came up with that,” Herron says. “I had in the scripts, ‘We move through space to the end of time,” and then me and [storyboard artist Darrin Denlinger] discussed how we could play with the idea of time, while also adding MCU nods. He was like, ‘What if the timeline is circular?’ I think that’s such a striking image, like the Citadel at the End of Time is the needle on a record player. I just thought that was such a cool image, but it wasn’t necessarily taken from anything.”

Episode 6 focuses heavily on the mysterious figure He Who Remains and his citadel, a space she says was largely conceived by production designer Kasra Farahani. “I remember he brought in the art of the Citadel, and I thought it was beautiful,” Herron says. “He said, ‘The Citadel has been carved from an actual meteorite,’ which I thought was such an inspired idea. And He Who Remains’ office is the only finished portion of it.”

She says there are only a few direct homages in episode 6, including the zoom shot through space, which directly referenced a similar sequence in Robert Zemeckis’ 1997 film Contact.

“And then I have my Teletubbies reference for episode 5,” Herron says. “I wanted the Void to feel like an overgrown garden, like a kind of forgotten place. And I realized I’d pitched it as the British countryside. I remember trying to explain it to ILM, who did the visual effects, and saying, ‘Oh, you know, it’s like the Teletubbies. It’s just rolling hills, but they go on forever.’ That actually was quite a helpful reference in the end, which is funny.”

Asked for her favorite set memory from shooting the season, Herron says it comes down to Tom Hiddleston starting a mania for physical exertion before takes. “Sometimes he runs around set to get himself in the right mindset before he performs,” she says. “He does pushups. You know, you’re going into an action scene, you want to look like you’ve just been running. And it became infectious across all the cast. We’ve got so much footage of — I think Jack [Veal] ended up doing it, who plays Kid Loki. I’ve got [shots of] him and Sophia doing pushups and squats, just to get ready. It was so funny watching that echo across all the cast. I think all of them ended up doing those exercises with him at some point. It was so funny.”

“That might be my favorite set story, but it’s honestly, not a sweet one,” she adds. “I would say my favorite thing is his enthusiasm. He’s a very kind empathetic person. We were filming this in quite tough circumstances, a lot of people were far from home and isolating, and he brought this warmth and energy and joy to the set every day. And I think that made everyone feel very safe and very bonded. I’m forever grateful to him for doing that.”

[sunder-the-gold]

Two Incompatible Hulks

I'm not referring to She-Hulk and the Hulk. Just different versions of Bruce Banner.

In the endlessly revolving door of Marvel comics writers, the rules of what the Hulk is have... flexed. And the MCU hasn't particularly cared to clarify which rules it uses.

But I feel there are basically two different kinds of Hulk that are fascinating character concepts, and both are mutually exclusive.

Green Adrenaline

First is the surface-level Hulk, where what you see is what you get. Bruce Banner suffers from a pseudo-magical condition where his adrenaline triggers a purely physiological transformation.

As he explained to Betty Ross in the pre-MCU movie, it's still very much "him" in the driver's seat, but his senses and emotions are cranked up to inhuman levels of sensitivity, so rational thought and self-control become difficult, especially when the USA military is shooting bullets and explosives at him.

This Banner isn't suffering from disassociative identity disorder. No amount of therapy can change his situation; the "Professor Hulk" is impossible. If Bruce can't cure himself or otherwise introduce a new change to his biology, the best he can do is live in controlled isolation while continuing to improve his self-control to avoid triggering his transformation, and possibly to better control himself while transformed. Getting the military off his back would work wonders.

If none of that happens, Bruce Banner’s life remains a compelling tragedy.

This version of the Hulk seems mutually exclusive with the existence of the She-Hulk (and Doc Samson). If Jennifer Walters contracted the exact same condition as her cousin, she should likewise become the same sort of hyper-sensitive, fight-or-flight creature when her adrenaline kicks in. Likewise Samson.

For the existence of She-Hulk and Doc Samson to make the most sense, the Hulk needs to be...

Multiple Identities

This version of the Hulk isn't triggered physiologically by adrenaline. The trigger for the physical transformation is instead entirely mental.

For someone like Jennifer Walters, her transformation (as I remember it from pre-MCU sources) was tied to her self-confidence. When she felt comfortable with herself, she became big and green. If she lost confidence in herself and began to feel like her old, mousy, timid self, that's what she turned back into.

As for Bruce... well, the exact picture depends on how bad his mental damage is. Did he suffer from DID before the gamma-radiation accident? Did the accident or the traumas following it build upon pre-existing issues so that he began to suffer from DID afterwards?

Is the Hulk the primary personality; the abused child who never grew up, who retreated behind the persona of a genius child who went on to become Bruce Banner? When he transforms into the Hulk, is the child responding to external threats by shoving Bruce out of the way to fight for survival?

Or is Banner the primary personality, and the Hulk is the persona he would use as a child to vent the rage he felt towards his father? When he transforms into the Hulk, is Banner trying to avoid responsibility for acting on a desire to hurt people, or is he retreating from the fear of danger and pain and using the Hulk as a survival mechanism?

Either way, it makes for a fascinating character drama, and that's where Doc Samson comes in: someone who contracted the same condition as Bruce Banner, but who remains completely in control and doesn't fly into violent rages. A trained psychologist and therapist who can help Bruce accept "the Hulk", while surviving the experience thanks to his similar levels of strength and durability.

Where Doc Samson acts as the mediator between the Hulk and Banner, Jennifer Walters acts as the mediator between her cousin and the world. She not only legally represents her cousin against the abuses of the government and the media and anyone else, she also displays by her very existence that her cousin CAN become a safe and productive member of society if that society will stop hunting him and start offering him the help he needs.

And there's also the Hulk villains like the Leader and the Abomination, who likewise contracted gamma-radiation transformations without ending up with Bruce's Jekyll and Hyde situation.

[dornish-queen]

GQ MEXICO - PEDRO PASCAL 2021

It seems that Pedro Pascal is in all possible universes. Here and there. In the past, in the present, and in galaxies far, far away. Today, the actor is considered the great entertainment reference and one of those in charge of saving a franchise that seemed lost. Enough reasons to talk exclusively about discipline, gastronomy, creeds and how he traumatized his father in 30 seconds.

The RAE defines 'creed' as the set of ideas, principles or convictions of a person or a group. For example, by creed, one can leave his country and be in exile. It happens that one can leave the loved one behind. Or simply live in another reality. And also one can put on a helmet to pretend never to take it off again. If that is the path to follow, the creed says that it must be done with the profession of faith and without stopping to look. Turning the pages of the script for The Mandalorian , the Disney + series that revived passion and nostalgia for the Star Wars franchise , Pedro Pascal came across this definition in every dialogue and moment, and reflection carved his way.

More than two decades have passed since the Chilean-American, Pedro Pascal, began his acting career and today, named as the great reference of 2020 , he misses the theater and it still hurts him not to have the discipline to exercise and maintain a diet sana while acknowledging the irony of having the best year of her career in the midst of one of the worst in recent history. But even in physical solitude, the man who carried the best-selling Christmas baby rescues many positive things and shares his vision of the universes he has traveled through, his passion for distant galaxies and how to traumatize your family with a simple scene of TV. In an interview, the Mandalorian of Latinamerica.

IMDB named you the 2020 benchmark in entertainment, a year in which the world took refuge in fiction. How was living your best time locked up and what do you rescue on a human level from it?

The strength of family relationships and friendship. For them, we endure this physical loneliness. I do find it ironic that in 2020 I received projects so well received by the public, although they were carried out before the pandemic and their impact was during it, and that year I was isolated and alone. But I must emphasize that this loneliness is a privilege when many people had to continue working, surviving and maintaining the functioning of the world. We only had to be alone, but they more than that and you must value it too.

Among the activities you have missed, how much do you miss the theater?

Much indeed. It's something that I miss the most and being with people without being afraid. See a play and return to those experiences of being with people doing and living things in common. That is what I need most, in addition to my loved ones.

Disney fully entered streaming and its strong letter has your face, what do you think of the discussion of platforms against movie theaters?

There are incredible things in streaming and many people develop great projects that they did not have access to before. The diversity of voices is gaining ground and it is important to recognize that opportunities grow exponentially and boundaries change. It is incredible the availability that we have to very well made content and how creative people can share their work in different ways. But I also want to be honest: limiting the experience of watching content only on our gadgets or at home is a mistake that affects the stories we can tell. You have to achieve a mix of opportunities and challenges.

You jump between the fictional universes that mark the last decades until you reach the universe of universes. What is your first Star Wars memory and how do you summarize the essence of this legendary story?

For me, Star Wars is nostalgia itself. It is one of the primary things in my memory, of my childhood. I came to the United States with my Chilean family when I was less than two years old and one of my first memories is going to the movies with my dad to see the saga ; it becomes one of those romantic childhood things that opens your mind, so imagine how special it is to participate in this project. I think the creators of The Mandalorian perfectly understand this nostalgia and that power, and they managed to count on that element as a great ally for the world of Star Wars and I couldn't be happier to be part of it. (From which we expect the third season The Mandalorian)

The Mandalorian exploits the power and nuances of your voice, did you have that letter on your resume?

I didn't know I could do it, but I resorted to my theater preparation, which was very physical on all levels and feelings. There are elements that have to do with and that are essential to create a role, and they teach you that the voice is something primary, something you have to start with and you cannot hide. Now I have learned much more about the importance of that, and how to use it economically. The body also has to do with that, because something very subtle communicates something. In The Mandalorian , I had a great time figuring out how to do it, they gave me the opportunity to develop it in different ways. The opportunity to be very intense at it.

What happens to the ego when someone works under a suit and a mask?

In the conversations about the project, before doing it, we were communicated the idea and the concept of the entire season , so I clearly understood what it was. I wanted it to be the most powerful version of what they were trying to accomplish, so there was no point in involving my ego, you know? It was already very clear what the project meant, so I knew about the character , the piece that it represented for him and the opportunity that it was for me, so I was only focused on executing in a better way the part that touched me in everything this. In the theater, I worked several times under a mask and it helped me develop the experience.

It seems that The Mandalorian has a very theatrical base ...

Exactly, and thanks to the physical experience of working in theater, doing a play a few times a week, discovering how your body and your voice communicate , being part of a whole image, and how you will tell that story visually, I achieved this character. I never imagined that it would be something I would have to use on such an important Star Wars project .

On the list of entertainment greats, there are names like Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, do you think John Favreau should be added to the list?

I think your name is already included. Without a doubt, it is in that category and it is incredible. His vision fascinates me. I remember an episode in the second season , and I had some boots and I walked so much in the snow, it stuck to them. He figured it out, so he talked to the art department about the kind of boots you need when you're out in the snow. They approached me and gave me new ones that fulfilled the idea I was looking for. He noticed it in an instant. It is such a wonderful detail and it is repeated to scale in every session with him. He thinks of absolutely everything and his vision of the use of technology is admirable. He is someone who makes you feel motivated and always sees how to achieve the goal.

One of the reflections in the series is on how and under what circumstances a man can break his creed and way of life. What makes you break with your beliefs?

I think that you must follow your heart so as not to regret anything; Although sometimes it brings pain or conflict, deep down when you look back, everything is worth it because it was what you heard in your heart. I am very afraid to deny that feeling or not to attend to it. I am 45 years old now and I cannot believe I have a finer philosophy. Make it more disciplined. It's ridiculous, but I'm trying to accept that I am and it's all I can say, "follow your heart." Although, you know, I'm not on a good diet yet, I still have trouble sleeping or exercising.

Still good at Chilean empanadas?

Yes, I couldn't stop. And also how good that I do not live in Mexico City because I would only spend it eating. I could move my whole life to defe just to eat.

I want to deviate and ask you, with whom did you see the chapter of your death in Game of Thrones and what traumas did you cause in your family?

For me, no trauma. I separate myself well from the characters , although I fully understand that if I were a Game of Thrones audience and loved that character, it would make an incredible impression on me. Thank you that it was not. I had to interpret it and there was a model of my head to be crushed that way with the tubes and the fake blood, you know? Me lying there, with pieces of my meat, it was funny in the end. But not for my family. For them there is nothing funny but traumatic. My dad's voice changed completely when we saw the episode, he turned around and said: “I didn't like it, Pedro . No, Pedro , not this ”.

The media found similarities between your villain in Wonder Woman: 1984 and Donald Trump. When playing a character with characteristics like this, do you humanize him or do you understand him?

The project had nothing to do with the former president. They always told me that my character in Wonder Woman: 1984 was emotionally messy, and I took that and took that as far as possible. Instead of creating it with images or certain inspirations from life, it was more to work with what was on the page. Personally, what made sense to me is the size of the story that is being told and there is always more, and we all want more. Creatively, if this makes sense, that meant "blowing her out of the park." Connect a hit with the character and be committed to telling his story faithfully, in a way that was true to me. So all the exterior elements found their way.

What a way to start 2021 with the theme of the Capitol ... How do you perceive that moment?

I am not a politician and it is not that I do not have an opinion about this type of event; however, it is not necessary to state the obvious. My opinion would be very simple compared to that of a person who studied this, who knows how to act in these kinds of scenarios; I believe that I am next to the majority who experienced this, which is the logical result of what we have experienced during these years and we are all horrified . It was distressing to see this violence.

If you had the monolith in your hands, what would your wish be?

My wish would be… it's impossible, really (laughs). I think it is to be together again, with less fear and that people have the opportunity to connect.

What is your position on the reality that Chile has experienced in recent years and how has the relationship with your country been since exile?

It is something that I am developing and I continue to do in my life, trying to understand that it is my home. To be in Chile is to be at home, but my life has been very nomadic, living different things and having many influences; so it is strange, I do not feel with the title of a complete Chilean identity nor with an American one.

Neither here nor there?

In a sense, but I'm also completely both. My parents are Chilean , my brothers were born there before my parents traveled, and I came back sometimes because my family is very large; in fact, my parents came back. It has always been there, it continues to develop, and it will be a part of me. I don't know if it answers your question, but it has a lot to do with who I am.

What is your relationship with Latin American cinema? Are you interested?

Much, it has invaded me in life like American cinema. The movies that I carry in my heart, seeing something like Y tu mama was also something that changed me; I also love the work that comes out of Chile , and the only thing I can say is that it is a cinema that needs more access and projects.

Today you have a comedy with Nicolas Cage on the door, can you tell us something?

It's my first shot at comedy , as a complete story within the genre. Speaking of American influences , in the 80s I saw all the films where Nicolas Cage appeared , he came into my life and it's great to be his partner after seeing all his performances.

How is the relationship you have with the comedy genre?

I love it, I have done a lot of comedy in the theater, what happens is that in film and television issues , I was always part of drama castings . And in the cinema, you go where the doors open; Although I identify with one or the other, I think that being an actor , one goes and does what one has to do. Comedy is something unique, it is very challenging because it must be very real to be funny, you cannot hide or use normal tricks. I was very excited to have this challenge in front of a camera.

Finally, Pedro, after going through so many fictional worlds, literally, what do you dream about when you sleep?

I dream that my bathroom is dirty, that I haven't done my math homework, that the oven is on and all that stuff. Sure, there are times when I close my eyes and see myself in all these projects , although my conscience is with the anxieties of the day that you can imagine.

Without a doubt, Pedro Pascal is a particular type .

English Tranlation: Google Translate

SOURCE:  GQ MEXICO

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

like i said before and will continue saying for perhaps ever it’s very very. Telling. about me that i always get really attached to *ships that are basically just overly dedicated male/male friendships/frenemies that get separated and then reunite and them reuniting is an important plotpoint in the thing. and the reunion’s all Messy and Complicated because they fell out or ended on just. a general bad note. and All The Feelings (good and bad) come back up to the surface to bite once again.

primary examples being philip and neville from thtdb, herbert and paul from madhouse, and sil.co and van.der from ar.cane. to name a handful i’ve been pretty attached to.

or *ships that are like. dedicated male/male friendship where one of them is the isolated, Insane genius and the other is their dedicated, lonely bestie who would do anything for them. and the insane one is kinda of a prick but actually insecure and the unconditional bestie reassures them and kinda. tames their temper a bit just by finally being a positive force in the insane one’s life. and they find solace in each other’s support and even just mere presence. :).

primary example being sherlock and watson, Of Course. i’d also put victor and hans in revenge of frankenstein and victor and hans 2 in evil of frankenstein up there, too.

(though with victor and hans it’s kind of implied they eventually fell out after the events of revenge by the lack of hans kleve in later entries in the series. which drives me up the wall :) if you take it as it’s own thing, they get a happy ending, but if not, then they don’t. which just. adds so much more to victor and hans 2′s dynamic in evil of frankenstein if you view the two movies as chronological/evil as a continuation of revenge with a time-skip explaining away hans’s absense.)

*(fandom-y ships, yes, but also more. hm. observational ships? like you don’t ship it in a ‘they’re cute together’ way but in a ‘them being together/having feelings for each other is either so implicit that it might as well be canon or is just much more narratively interesting to look at within context of the media than them being only friends, etc. you don’t necessarily ‘ship’ them but you prefer to interpret them as such.)

[dalekofchaos]

Rey’s lack of motivation and stake in the Sequel Trilogy

I have a question to ask you. What are Rey’s motivations? What are her wants and goals and why is she even drawn to the conflict between The First Order and The Resistance?

Rey’s motivations in the Sequels.

Rey wants to find her parents.

Wants to bring back Luke Skywalker

Rey wants to find her place 

Wants Ben to return to the light

Has no real motivation to be on either side of the conflict, but chooses The Resistance anyway

Says she wants to kill Palpatine in cold blood, was close to giving in

Now she chose to fuck off to Tatooine and we see very little in her motivation to do....ANYTHING

Let’s compare Anakin and Luke’s motivations.

What are Anakin's motivations?

Wants to leave a life of slavery and come back and free his mother

Wants to become a Jedi and become a hero

Wants to protect Padme

Wants to save Obi-Wan

Wants to stop Dooku and end the war before it can begin

Wants to be a good master to Ahsoka

Wants to clear Ahsoka’s name

Wants to stop the war

Wants to save Padme and his children's lives at the cost of the Jedi and doing whatever it takes and becomes Darth Vader

What are Luke’s motivations?

Luke is a farm boy who dreams of leaving his mundane life.

Luke discovers that his father -unlike what his uncle told him, was a heroic Jedi Knight

Luke, is reluctant and refuses the ‘call to adventure’, but after the Empire murders his Aunt and Uncle, he decides to Join Obi-Wan on the quest.

Save the Princess

Luke is angered by Obi-Wan’s death at the hands of Darth Vader, and seeks retribution.

Destroy the Death Star and save the Rebellion

To be trained by Yoda

Save Han and Leia

Luke discovers his father, the heroic Jedi, is none other than Darth Vader. After years of training, he sets out to redeem his father and turn him back to the light.

After the redemption of his father and fall of the Empire, Luke goes on a journey to restore The Jedi Order

Compare Rey and Luke’s journeys in ANH and TFA. Rey wanders around and stuff is handed to her. Luke takes initiative and works for what he has. Let's compare ANH with TFA

Luke screws up on watching R2, then chooses to chase him down. He makes another mistake by spying on the Tusken Raiders instead of getting the hell out of dodge. This leads to him being knocked out, and rescued by Ben Kenobi.

Luke initiates the meeting with Ben Kenobi, and it happens because of his early bad decisions.

His aunt & uncle are killed, but thanks to his screw-up with R2 & the raiders, he and the droids are spared.

He chooses to follow Kenobi to Alderaan instead of staying on Tattooine.

He chooses to accept Kenobi's instruction in the ways of the Force, even though most people think it's a myth and a joke. Even though he's bad at it and doesn't seem to get any results at first.

He makes the decision that they're going to rescue Leia, potentially dooming their escape from the Death Star. This sets off a chain of events that leads to Kenobi's death.

Then he chooses to help fight the Death Star, even though he's not a member of the rebellion. He was offered a job with Han, and he could have ensured his safety by leaving with them. Instead he chose certain death.

Finally, he chooses to trust a literal voice in his head instead of the targeting computer.

Let's contrast that with Rey.

BB-8 runs into her. She tries to send him away, but relents and lets him follow her home.

She chooses not to sell him for food.

Finn wanders into camp on his own initiative.

The camp is attacked because BB-8 is there. The camp would have been attacked no matter what Rey did. The other scavenger was, I'm pretty sure, from the same camp. And if she'd sold him, BB-8 would also have still been in the camp.

She is forced to take the Millennium Falcon when the ship she wanted to use was blown up.

She chooses to go with Finn and bring BB-8 to the Rebellion Resistance.

She stumbles upon Luke's lightsaber, and runs away from it.

She accidentally runs into Kylo Ren while hiding in the forest.

He chooses to kidnap her because he senses something special about her.

After her first exposure to the Force, she learns how to use some of it, successfully, and escapes from Ren. And to her credit, escaping and trying the Force out is a choice she made, rather than something that passively happened to her.

Then she, um, is standing there when Han is killed.

She chooses to fight Kylo Ren, and beats him in her first lightsaber battle after closing her eyes and thinking about the Force.

She sort of chooses to go summon Luke back to civilization - I say sort of because it's not clear why she was picked to go over, say, Leia.

Luke makes mistakes, and he is an active participant in his story. Rey is just kind of there, most of the time. She doesn't make mistakes, but she doesn't really do much else.

Rey has no personal stake in this war or motivations and she’s supposed to be the main protagonist.

Rey has never left Jakku before TFA and she tells Han that ”she never knew so much green existed” when they go to Maz’s castle.

In other words Rey must have had very limited knowledge of the world outside of Jakku and all she has heard from it are stories.

Rey who barely knows anything about the rest of the galaxy, to the point that she didn’t even know that forests existed what exactly is her personal stake in the current galactic conflict?

In TFA we saw The New Republic’s capital systems blown up by Starkiller Base and we never saw a reaction from Rey. We do see Finn and Han’s reactions. Also worth noting about Rey is that if she was unconscious throughout her involuntary travel to the Starkiller Base she was never actually aware of the Starkiller Base until just before Han, Finn and Chewie started planting the explosions in order to sabotage it.

Luke, while he had no personal attachments to Aldeeran did actually get to see the horrible aftermaths of it’s destruction.

But Rey was barely affected by the destruction of the Capital systems. Most characters were not as affected as they should have been in my opinion but we didn’t even get to see her have an emotional reaction to it.

This was probably the greatest genocide in Star Wars history and our main heroine is unaffected by it? Finn has a reaction to it and he’s supposedly NOT the main protagonist?

Rey really has no reason to care about the state of the galaxy. She only seems to care if people she knows are in danger.

The fact that she is supposed to be our main hero of this trilogy when she has next to no personal stakes in the well-being of the rest of the galaxy feels wrong to me.

Finn actually has stakes in this conflict since the FO took his family and childhood away from him and Poe has stakes because he actually lives in the New Republic and doesn’t want it to be under FO’s rule. Yet neither Finn nor Poe are considered the main protagonist? But oh wait, I forgot we can’t have a black or Latino man be the leading protagonist in Star Wars

The more I think about it is Rey has no goals or agency as a protagonist. She’s just whatever the plot demands her to be. Rey doesn’t actively take the initiative and make decisions, and simply react to the world around her. There is never a reason given as to why she wants to be a Jedi. Sure, she’s heard the stories about them, but she doesn’t dream to be one like Anakin, and the writers are so obsessed over her parents that they never develop any other motivation besides that. She has to be strung along the story so she can take part in it, hence she is repeatedly chased and kidnapped throughout TFA to get her to the Resistance where she decides to find Luke because she has nowhere else to go. Part of the reason she doesn’t even train with Luke is because she has no reason to, as she’s just supposed to find him. Rey joins the fight simply in reaction to learning that Luke is responsible for Ben’s fall. She’s only ever a Jedi and a member of the Resistance out of necessity- she has no where left to go and has to fight in self defense- so they try hamfist in some motives that she needs to stop herself from becoming like Palpatine but there is no tension as it’s the final act. By the end of the trilogy it’s not even clear if the Jedi Order will return because Rey never seems to want to be one and we can only assume they will return for meta reasons- because the audience knows the ST is a copypasta of the OT.

What exactly was Rey’s motivation for getting involved in the Galactic conflict before TROS? Luke was told that his father was killed by Darth Vader and later his family gets murdered by the empire so he had personal stakes to get involved in the conflict.

Anakin was a Jedi and had lived in the Republic for ten years by the time of the Clone Wars begun so he had personal reasons to get involved in the conflict.

Rey meanwhile grew up so isolated of Jakku that she had no idea forests existed and she didn’t lose anything and the FO attacked her on Jakku. In fact she wanted to return to Jakku after she had dumped BB-8 with the Resistance. Her primary motivation in TFA was to reunite with her family but the movie never establish that her family’s absence was connected to the galactic conflict in any way.

That connection isn’t established until TROS so what was her motivation until than? The Death of Han? A guy she had known for two hours? Finn? A guy she also had maybe only knew for about two hours total by the time of their hug in TLJ? Also she seemed to have completely forgotten about Finn by the time she want on a quest to redeem the guy that has far as she should have known by that point was still in a coma with his spine permanently damaged because of Kylo.

Rey’s motivation seems to either be finding her family or her dealing with her existential crisis neither had much of a connection with the galactic conflict until TROS

[petri808]

Bakudeku canon divergent, vampire quirk AU

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24

When Bakugou finally woke up in the Ena City Hospital, his head was splitting worse than a punch from Kirishima in full quirk, and ears rang with the force of all 108 New Year’s bell tolls. If he’d had no memory of the night before, Bakugou swore he’d just survived the worst hangover in history. Even his eyes hurt from the bright, piercing fluorescent lights and they weren’t even open! He turned his head to the side, noticing how much effort it took just to shift in such a small manner. It was as if his body was drained of... “Ugh, that bastard,” he groaned. ‘Fucker bit me.’ And as if to add insult to injury, a pin-prick pain in his neck revealed itself in that revelation.

His arm flopped up, hand straining with jerky strokes, reaching to touch the fresh bite wound located at the junction of his neck and shoulder. He flinched at the tender, bruising pain that sent a shock down his spine. Son-of— This just in! Pro Hero Dynamite cast in one of those cliché vampire movies that went straight to video. Definitely not the career start he’d envisioned.

“Oh, good you’re finally awake Mr. Bakugou.”

“Who the fuck are you?” he spat at the male voice. “And can someone turn the fucking lights off?!”

“I am Doctor Ishihira, and my apologies,” the doctor flicked off the overhead light. “Is that better?”

“Yeah,” he grumped.

“Mr. Bakugou, you were found yesterday morning and brought in suffering from hypovolemic shock due to severe blood loss and dehydration. We’ve treated you with 3 liters of IV fluids and blood plasma to bring your numbers back up, however you’ll still be groggy until your body replenishes the nutrients you were stripped of.”

Over a day had passed! At hearing he’d been out cold for so long, Bakugou immediately clenched his fists, swearing up and down about being released until they threatened to sedate him for longer. Longer?! He begrudgingly relented and settled down, but damn it! That meant Midoriya had another head start on him again! And now that the man knew he was on his trail, finding him would be a lot more difficult!

“What the hell is hypo-whatever shock?” Bakugou questioned.

“When you were found, you were in and out of consciousness and rambling incoherently, all signs of severe blood loss. The fatigue you’re still feeling is also due to the effects of it. Luckily the amount of loss wasn’t enough to start shutting down your organs.”

The doctor continued explaining a few more details regardless of the tantrum like a robot. Minor injuries he’d been treated for. The obvious puncture wounds in his neck, questioning Bakugou about any description he could provide of his attacker. He wasn’t about to tell this doctor or any authority figure who the true culprit was, so he feigned a temporary retrograde amnesia. Based on a raised brow, peering over his glass’s expression, the doctor didn’t look very convinced. Oh well, Bakugou really didn’t care about the man’s opinion.

“Mr. Bakugou, we also called you parents…”

“You what?!” Bakugou tried to jump off the bed, but his body absolutely refused to respond and ended up flopping like a dying fish. Ugh! He really was worse off than he’d thought.

“I’m sorry, but you are a minor, so we were obligated to do so. However, they did give us permission to treat and release you on your own recognizance once we felt you were better.”

Well, that was good news. ‘Sounds like mom actually listened to my letter.’ Or the authorities surely would have shown up by now. “Ugh! So, how much longer am I stuck here?”

“If you continue to recover well, tomorrow morning.”

Fuck! Now a three-day head start! Just great, he groaned. Midoriya could get far away with that kind of a jump start. “Fine, whatever! Now go the fuck away.”

The doctor left the room after explaining how nurses will be monitoring his progress, but to also let them know if anything started to feel worse. They needed to know if he developed any lasting effects from organ damage. Once he was alone again, Bakugou rolled gingerly onto his side as his mind processed the new information. Whatever Midoriya had been hit with must be the cause of this weird blood thirst that resembled a goddamn vampire plot line. Perhaps the significance of the blood coloring in his eyes was a sign of that thirst taking hold? That’ll be a handy tell, too bad it seemed to appear within seconds of the next step.

But if Midoriya had just fed on a victim, and history showed at times, a span of days before the next incident, what had caused his friend to attack him so fast? Was this thirst like a hunger? And what happens when you exercise or exert yourself? You use up energy. ‘Duh, Katsuki.’ Fighting and expending all that energy must have triggered the attack. ‘Wow, it burns fast.’ That meant Midoriya probably struggled to control this thirst, and that’s why he was pleading for him to leave him alone. But sorry, he couldn’t do that. ‘Fucker shouldn’t have run!’ One way or another he is getting his friend back home where he belonged. In fact, this only made his drive to find Midoriya stronger because he felt like he was partially to blame for the predicament his friend was in. The guy had to be scared, freaked out, and lonely. Bakugou’s heart clenched at the thought. He knew his friend was a social person by nature who loved being around friends and family. To be stuck out here all by himself and too frightened because of whatever this new quirk was had to be horrible… and utterly not fair. Of course, he did have a tendency to isolate himself when he feared…

Bakugou groaned. “Kami, not again with this shit!” When was Midoriya gonna learn to stop running away!

As his eyes relented to the fatigue and his mind slipped back into unconsciousness, Bakugou could only pray he’ll get a lead as soon as he got out of this hospital. This strange new quirk, if that’s really what it was, posed a serious danger not only to Midoriya, but the public. The reputation of pro hero’s had taken a major hit already because of AFO and the league, so if the public found out about a blood drinking hero attacking people… ‘I gotta get you out of here…’

After his encounter with Bakugou, Midoriya had rushed out of town as quickly as possible. Tears poured down his cheeks as he took off into the sky from having given in to the lust of this uncontrollable quirk. But he couldn’t stop it even if he’d wanted to. He’d learned the hard way right at the beginning that once it took hold of his mind, the only thing he could do was give-in or succumb to an even worse ravenous state that literally hurt. The pain of holding out on the hunger made him feel like a starved predatory animal that tore at his insides until he relented. In this state, the blood of any creature that came too close became a meal. But it was never enough. Animal blood didn’t satiate him in the same way that human blood did. Plus, he worried that if he let it get completely out of control, he might just end up killing someone. So far, he’d been lucky to leave them all unconscious but alive.

It was obvious that the light AFO had hit him with contained this strange quirk. How ironic, to take down a villain, only to be turned into one. That’s how Midoriya felt. How else could he feel? A hero wouldn’t hurt other people, so by taking the blood of others for sustenance, that made him a villain. Therefore, he couldn’t be a hero anymore. It must have been AFO’s plan all along once he’d realized he was losing. The villains end goal was to ruin hero society and this was definitely one way to do it. Take out his primary rival. The man poised to carry on a torch of safety and security, and snuff out any who chose to do harm… The whole situation with Bakugou really turned this into a nightmare out of body experience. To see his friend’s eyes suddenly show fear, then fade away the more he drank… his mouth clamped to the man’s neck… it was a horrible imagine that was sure to haunt him. He could still smell the burnt cinnamon from such a close encounter. If only he had clothes to change into or even a pond to bathe in, because that lingering scent was gonna drive him mad!

Midoriya curled up and clenched his eyes shut tight in an abandoned and overgrown castle he’d found outside of Ena. It didn’t look like it’s been maintained for a very long time, so the likelihood of a human showing up seemed low. He knew he should have travelled farther away, but he was too tired, too upset and just wanted to quit. All the years of growing up quirkless, to gain OFA and become the very thing he’d dreamt of, only for those dreams to be dashed again. It was as if life just didn’t want him to be a real hero. Maybe he should just put himself out of his misery, and yet— he couldn’t do it. To die out here alone where no one knew where he was or what had become of him, that wasn’t fair to his family and friends…

They must be so worried about him right now. His poor mother didn’t deserve any of this. Would his friends look down on him now? And All Might, his idol, who’d taken him under his wing, was he disappointed? And that just left Bakugou. He’d said the truth in answering the man’s question. No, Midoriya never would have expected him to come looking. Katsuki Bakugou giving a damn about him? Yeah, right. Bakugou wasn’t doing this because he cared. There was always a selfish reason behind his madness. Fear. Anger. Jealousy. Shouldn’t big bad Dynamight be thrilled that his biggest rival was gone?

Okay that was a big, fat white lie he’d been telling himself for the last two years. He knew Bakugou had moved past those pettier behaviors, but it was simply easier to believe and keep their relationship as rivals than to hope his childhood friend would ever see him as something else. And yet… ‘Kacchan was genuinely surprised by my answer. Did he really come looking for me because he cared that much?’ Yet in what way? Why was the man trying so hard? Did he… ‘miss me?’

Midoriya shook his head violently of those thoughts. No, no, he didn’t want to believe that because it would make this situation even more unbearable than it already was! He’d already given up everything he’d ever loved. His hopes and dreams, a future and losing an affection he’d craved for years would just simply be too much.

[evidence-based-activism]

Mass Media vs Porn

So, a series of comments made me interested in the relationship between sexualized mass media and pornography. My views on porn are already well fleshed out (I’ve made and reblogged a few posts about it, and have more I haven’t posted yet), so I decided to look through the literature and try and form some kind of an opinion about mass media.

Unfortunately, but unsurprisingly, considering “media” is far more broad than “porn” the data is less clear. 

For starters, while harm is inherent to the production of the porn (I and others have made/reblogged several posts about this but you can start here and here), production of movies or television shows (even when they contain horror or action scenes) does not usually cause harm to the actors/those involved in the creation. 

(Of course, there are exceptions and accidents where actors are hurt doing stunts or because of negligence. There’s also a very significant sexual harassment and assault problem in the entertainment industry. However, these problems are not, for lack of a better term, endemic to the entertainment industry, while rape and exposure to STDs (for example) are endemic to the porn industry.)

So, that’s a main difference between the two. But what about the consumption of mass media?

That’s where things got...fuzzier. 

Looking through the research, some studies concluded that there was no evidence at that time of a relationship between violent media and violent behavior:

A meta analysis in 2009 indicated their results “do not support the conclusion that media violence leads to aggressive behavior” [1]

Another meta analysis in 2008 concludes that “he evidence is not adequate to claim that exposure to violent TV is a significant source of violence in U.S. society” [2]

A meta analysis in 2004 concludes that there is “the body of published, empirical evidence on [media violence] does not establish that viewing violent portrayals causes crime” [3]

A review from 2007 indicates that “when integrated with other long-term studies on the development of crime, it is concluded that the link between media violence and crime is weak after other environmental factors are taken into account” [4]

Another study from 1986 finds no association between rates of violent crime and prevalence of violent media in a population based study** [5] 

Another study from 2009 found “television violence exposure was not predictive of any form of youth aggression” [6]

**This result should be interpreted with caution as attempts to isolate specific causes of crime or violence on a population level are generally full of confounding factors. I included this study because it helps complete a picture, not because it definitely determines any particular relationship. 

However, these were primarily concerned with violent behavior, which doesn’t necessarily give us the full picture, for example:

The studies complied in [1] either measured violent behavior or used unreliable scales for aggression

Studies [2] [3] [4] and [5] looks specifically at criminal aggression/violent crime

Only study [6] looked past overt criminally violent behavior

Note: This is another place where mass media effects diverge from effects of porn, as there is significant evidence linking porn use to criminal behavior (start here and here).

---

Other studies found some relationship between media violence and aggression:

One study found individuals with high trait aggression (a predisposition) were (1) more likely to select a violent film when given a choice, (2) reported a greater increase in anger than individuals with low trait aggression after viewing the violent film, and (3) displayed more aggressive behavior on a lab specific task [7]

Another study documents that there are short-term increases in negative emotions and subsequent behavior after viewing violent media, at least for younger children. Long term effects are harder to establish, but there does appear to be a trend that possibly emerges only in combination with other risk factors. [8]

Another study found modest affects of media violence on aggressive thoughts of behavior. This one found that only children displayed longer-term effects [9]

A study from 1986 found media violence in and of itself didn’t not predict violent behavior, but that heavy doses of violent media consumption in combination with parental violence did [10] 

A final study indicates that media violence is a risk factor for aggression, but is only one among many. This article mainly focuses on the need for a multivariate approach that considers interactions between consumption of violent media and a host of other factors [11]

Note: These results appear more similar (if more mild) to the effects of porn on violence and misogynistic beliefs. (Again see this post). They mirror how certain individuals are at a higher risk for maladaptive responses, and how the issue is multifactorial. However, they also indicate the effects are more limited (i.e. only to children) or less primary than the effects of porn.

---

Another difference to porn is that the negative effects of violent media on children (the main “at risk” group) may potentially be alleviated by discussing and evaluating the media with them (i.e. helping them develop media literacy). [12]

---

Despite this, I found a few compelling articles linking media violence to aggression:

One extensive meta analysis found a link between violent video game use and physical aggression. They suggest that other factors either moderate or facilitate this association. [13]

A report by the American Psychological Association confirms this effect of video games [14]

Another study found a significant connection between the exposure to violent content involving real people on the internet and seriously violent behavior. [15]

Note: I tentatively suggest that the connection between violent media and violence found in these studies may be stronger due to (1) the interactive nature of the mediums and (2) the exposure to real people. By this I mean, both video games and browsing/searching for content on the internet is more interactive than passively watching movies or television. Further, the effects found in [15] applied mainly when the observed violence was happening to real people. 

This has substantial implications for the effects of porn, as most pornography is  now sought out on the internet, closely engaged with (masturbation), and depicts real people (engaged in real violence).

---

So what does this suggest?

Overall, this literature suggests to me that (1) there is a connection between violent media and aggression, (2) this connection is embedded within a framework of other risk factors, (3) certain groups are at higher risk which indicates we are right to limit children from accessing some forms of media**, (4) the negative effects of violent media may be alleviated through the development of media literacy, (5) pornography has an effect on cognitions and behaviors that violent media in general does not appear to have. 

**A report by the American Academy of Pediatrics discusses this more throughly. [16]

---

What happens, however, if we introduce sexualized elements to the mix? 

One study found that sexually violent and sexually explicit mass media correlated with acceptance of domestic and sexual violence acts and myths, as well as actual perpetration and victimization. Preexisting attitudes moderate this relationship. [17]

Exposure to sexualized violence in mass media decreased sympathy to rape victims [18]

When women are shown as deserving or enjoying the sexualized violence aimed against them, men indicated more acceptance of violence against women [19]

Exposure to objectifying media later increased men’s self-reported likelihood to act as an acquaintance rapist [20]

As such, there is evidence of a correlation between exposure to media that affirms misogynistic attitudes (such as the endorsement of acquaintance rape) and belief in these attitudes. 

Therefore it is also important to note that some studies [19] [20] and [21] indicate that improving media literacy (i.e. critical examination of the media) could mitigate acceptance of rape myths and misogynistic attitudes. This potential to critically examine the material presented potentially separates sexualized violence in mass media from sexual violence in porn. 

On the other hand, other studies elaborate on the connection between objectifying media and self-objectification [22] and the damaging prevalence of sexualization of girls in various forms of media [23] and [24]*. This strongly suggests the sexualization of girls in media has far-reaching, negative, consequences. 

*there is evidence that girls exposed to sexualizing and objectifying media are more likely to experience body dissatisfaction, depression, and lower self- esteem ... [as well as affecting] girls’ sexual development. Furthermore, girls’ relationships with boys and men are affected in that exposure to sexualizing and objectifying media has been shown to relate to girls’ and boys’ views on dating, boys’ sexual harassment of girls, and attitudes toward sexual violence.

These, I think, provide compelling evidence that sexualization of women and girls in media still perpetuates sexism. In some cases, this may potentially be addressed via increasing media literacy. The prevalent sexualization of girls however, would likely require more approaches. 

---

tl;dr Violence in mass media is not the same as in porn. It may still be harmful, and such effects should be addressed (potentially via media literacy). Some groups are more vulnerable to media violence, and some forms of media violence are more severe. In any case, media violence is one of many components in a complex web of factors leading to aggression, and should be addressed within said web. Sexualized violence may help perpetuate misogynistic myths in society and negatively impact women and girls. Some of these affects may be addressed though improving media literacy, others require different approaches. 

---

[To deal with how tumblr handles links I’m going to reblog this post with the sources list.]

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[ohmy7hearts]

Being an Amazon and Tim Drake’s significant other; pt. 2

A/N: my grammar is all over the place,, so just don’t mind that,,, on a more exciting note!! i’m planning to take A levels next year despite graduating with diploma in March so,,, idk how committed I would be to writing ((like i was in the beginning lololol))

prev

They have made it clear that whatever you did will not earn you any sort of favours from them. So you have decided to just avoid them entirely, using your enhanced abilities to sneak around the tower, like some kind of burglar - dashing off to your room when you hear the littlest sound of voices coming towards your direction, peeking out at the corridors before walking down them, not joining them when they go out for their outings or having their movie night

Honestly, Gar and Bart were the only ones who felt bad about leaving you out entirely. They tried suggesting subtly but it was always met with glares or just shut down before they could convince anyone

The two of them band together to try and make you be friendlier with the rest of the team to earn their trust back

However, no matter how much they’ve tried, your enhanced skills always leave you one step above

So they have to take things the hard way, they infiltrated your room

You were not happy to see the two - no matter how sheepish and sorry they look and how fast they try to talk into listening to them - and literally threw them out of the room

Tim was walking past to witness the whole thing. He gave an offhand remark about leaving people alone and respecting their personal space. Honestly, he just doesn’t want you hanging around with the rest of the team. He felt so vulnerable with you and he sucks at keeping his emotions in check. The last thing he needed was for you to even hint about his crush on Cassie - the team was too smart and pick it up straight away

There was a mission that forced you out of your room, some illegal drug smuggling by the coast. The plan was a simple get in, kick their ass and get out to call the police right on time. Hence, you were told to standby - to watch how the team works so you wouldn’t be confused about how to work with others in the near future

You merely shrugged and waited on the roof as told while the rest of the team entered to seize the operation

However, you see someone sneaking around the shadows and your gut was telling you to go down and help them. You don’t want to cause any more trouble with the team than you already did but you knew they needed help

And from the sounds of it, with the screaming and gears going off, they were ambushed. So, albeit reluctantly, you went in and saved their asses

Despite that, that wasn’t the team’s primary focus. Apparently, the assailant was provoking them and he - Slade was it? - knew where it hurts the most 

Conner was up and arms with Tim about his supposed crush on Cassie with the latter not helping in dissuading the situation despite being a team leader. The team themselves want to intervene but it was escalating badly

You rolled your eyes, going to help Bart with an unconscious beast boy. You three headed back to the aircraft without saying much despite you being able to see Bart opening his mouth and closing it again in hopes of finding the right words to break the ice between the two of you

You tended to Beast Boy’s wounds with Bart vibrating behind you, peering over your shoulder then zooming to and fro the small space whenever you requested for some medical ointments

The peace was broken when the rest of the team rolled in with looks of exasperation and exhaustion and Tim and Conner gone. Bart launched his questions, worry apparent in his voice and features but Cassie merely waved her hand to dismiss him

Starfire sat beside you, staring at a patched up Beast Boy, before muttering thanks to you. You looked at her from the corner of your eyes before nodding slightly

The moment you all touched down, Cyborg took Beast Boy in his arms, nudging you away when you were about to. Shrugging your shoulders, you retreated back to your room

Of course, that didn’t come easy as Bart tried to talk to you, chattering about endless subjects, following you till you both faced your bedroom door

You raised an eyebrow at him and for the first time you noticed the wrangling of his arms out of nervousness and the constant darting of eyes from corner to corner

“I just want you to know that you have a friend in me. I know it’s weird with how we almost died - but hey, we didn’t so that’s a win for us - and the team is falling apart - to which I find is totally ridiculous if you’re curious cause technically you can’t control your feelings for someone but I’m not saying that Red Robin is in the wrong but neither is he right but so is Conner but he’s always been emotional and there’s nothing wrong with that but, wait - what was I saying?”

You considered him, eyes scanning him from toe to the ends of his hair, putting him further on edge and a small part in you almost grin manically at that, before you hummed in acknowledgement and spinning into your room

Behind the closed door, you can hear him shouting about it’ll be nicer if you actually talk instead of just humming and nodding and going off tangent to which you smiled at before soaking yourself for a bath

After that day, you returned to your routine of avoiding everyone - despite Bart and Beast Boy knocking on your door every now and then with invitations; Bart being more annoying and persistent and threatening to vibrate through the walls - and stumbled upon Tim one late night when Bart was in the same room as you

Too engrossed in making a late-night snack, and half-listening to Bart’s one-sided conversation, you didn’t hear him creep around -  kudos to Batman for teaching his sidekicks to be discreet successfully

“You’re still here?” His biting tone was what greeted you and with a blank expression, you raised an eyebrow at him

Bart, ever the peaceful one, jumped to your defence while trying to deter Tim from spiralling further into his foul mood

You pick up your snacks, glancing back one last time before leaving, scoffing “At least I add value to the team and not just participating in petty arguments.”

Tim snarled about how he was wanted, unlike you with the Amazons and the team

Your jaw tensed, blood turning cold, eyes seeing red and were ready to maul at him but Bart literally intervene 

Somehow, that tick Tim the wrong way and him sneering about your boy toy and Bart being such an idiot, which was not surprising

Bewildered, he stood there with mouth agape not believing that the person in front of him was one of the people he always admired for his determination, levelheadedness and thoughtfulness

You rolled your eyes, mocking his emotional intelligence or lack thereof was the reason why he was so isolated from everyone despite how much he tried fitting in with people

Dragging a shell shocked Bart to the rooftop for an unplanned heart-to-heart

You didn't - or even bother to - see the hurt flitting briefly on Tim’s face

Discomfort was something rare when Bart was around but with how quiet he was, you started prattling about your life on Amazon without actually revealing much about your own history; you were not ready for that vulnerability

That somehow got his attention; with childlike wonder, he questioned you one after another and you patiently answered

You didn’t know how long you both stayed there and it was hard to keep track with how seamlessly the conversation flowed to his whereabouts and history and dreams but you knew when the sun bathed you two in sunlight, Bart was already dozing off while still murmuring about something

And for once in a long time, you were content

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Get Real Angry: Interrogation, Final

CW: Institutional brutality, whump of a minor (in the form of a video Jake watches), beating, electric shock, very vaguely referenced past/potential noncon, violence in response to self-soothing stimming behavior, referenced familial abuse, sleep deprivation, creepy whumper behavior

The final part of Jake’s interrogation during his very bad week. Tomorrow I hope to get his reunion with Chris written, and then Jake’s first day back in class after that, and then we’ll return to your regularly scheduled comfort programming now that this little mini-narrative is out of my head!

To understand the frat guy reference (a reference to @deluxewhump‘s Alex), please read this piece here.

INTERROGATION: PART ONE PART TWO

Tagging @burtlederp, @finder-of-rings, @endless-whump, @whumpfigure, @stxck-fxck, @slaintetowhump

When Everly wheels the TV in - big and blocky, on a little metal wheelie cart with a squeaky wheel and rust spots along the frame - and settles it in front of the chair Jake has been encouraged to sit in, Jake is reminded, bizarrely, of a movie he saw a few years ago.

Weird arthouse movie about a guy that takes another guy captive and his boyfriend or whatever tries to hunt him down, they watched something on a TV in an old house… shit, what was it called… Jake’s head hurts, throbs with a kind of foggy ache, and he closes his eyes, head drooping just slightly.

He could drift off just like this, with his wrists still zip-tied, his shoulders screaming pain at him. Since waking up at the sound of the cops banging on the door, sleep has been a twenty-minute nap here and there, as long as they’ll let him drop off, slumped in his chair, forehead resting on the table in the interrogation room.

Everly left for a while, he assumes to get some fucking sleep. They’d set up some kind of weird blaring alarm system that went off while he was gone, going off every hour or so, waking Jake up. His head feels weighted down with the fucking need for sleep. 

Once his eyes close, he can’t quite seem to force them open again. God, he could, he really could fall asleep now, with Everly staring right down at him. Rescues talk about it, about curling up on the floor, covering their eyes with their arms to try and find the tiniest bit of darkness in the unending white light, just… drifting away into some kind of doze and fuck, what he wouldn’t give for a real nap right about now-

There’s a slam, palm on metal table, rattling it, and Jake jerks his head back up, staring wide-eyed up at the handler, breathing in harsh pants. Everly’s not even wearing his stupid fake cop uniform anymore. He doesn’t even try to hold up the pretense.

That’s how Jake knows - for sure this time, not just a hunch - that that camera in the corner by the ceiling definitely isn’t turned on.

Wanted to contract you but I was overruled. Jake’s bloodshot exhausted eyes stare up into Everly’s calm, almost pleased flat gray, and he shudders. It’s a thin line between protecting people who need help and being turned into one.

He kind of wants to send a thank-you card to whoever decided he was too much trouble to abduct.

“Wake up, sunshine,” Everly says, pleased as can be, pleased as punch Jake’s nana would have said, when he was little. Tiny little old southern woman, genteel beachside accent, sweet tea on the table, Sunday dinner, what happens between you and your husband is your business, Maggie. Jake shudders, all over.

When you run from a man who won’t stop hurting you with your kid in tow, you have to run from all the people who just can’t give enough of a fuck to help you, too. 

“Pretty-… pretty sure sleep deprivation is torture under th’ Geneva Conventions,” Jake mumbles, forcing his head to stay up, his spine as straight as he can make it. Leaning against the back of the chair helps, but shit, what he wouldn’t give-

That’s how it starts, Jake. You think you’d give something up just to sleep, and then they take that, and take more than that, and eventually there’s nothing left.

“Probably,” Everly acknowledges with a careless shrug. “But you’re gonna have one hell of a time proving you were here and not just the unfortunate recipient of a beating outside a bar or whatever the fuck you do in your free time.”

“In m’free time,” Jake slurs - weird how being this tired has made it harder to move his mouth, even, “I mostly feed homeless people. Not… ‘zactly a violent hobby.”

“Weird how that happened to you, then,” Everly says brightly. He picks up a remote on the cart and starts pressing buttons. The TV powers on with a sudden flash of colors and Jake winces as the light hurts his eyes, blinking rapidly, trying to focus. 

It’s harder than it should be. Everything is harder than it should be. He’s not even sure he could stand up on his own any longer, his legs feel like noodles precariously balanced on top of concrete blocks. 

“No… no folder t’day?” Jake asks, staring as the menu pops up. Smart TV, of course it is. He stifles a laugh at the sight of the little Netflix icon, Hulu, Amazon Prime. “Y’watch a lot of, of fuckin’ TV when you’re torturin’ innocent people?”

“Shut up, it belongs to the police station.” Everly chooses an app off to the corner, something called KINECTREMOT, the letters dancing and refusing to settle as Jake tries to read them. Does it start this way, with the rescues? Does it start with it just getting harder because you’re tired, and then one day the letters start to hurt?

Or is there something else, to that? Something to the training the rescues can’t explain, maybe don’t even remember?

No, Kauri remembers. Kauri’s head is a fucking mess but he remembers more of training than any of the others seem to be. Maybe that’s why his head is a mess. Jake groans, trying to focus, to think.

Everly’s humming to himself, a soft little tune on his lips, as he inputs a login username g.everly@wru.com and a password that just shows up as little circles. He fucks it up the first time, has to redo it. Jake holds back a snort.

“Y’tired, too, huh?” He asks, false sympathy dripping from his tone. “Real tired? Wanna schedule us a fuckin’ naptime, man?”

Everly glances back at him, then leans over and grabs Jake by the back of the head, casually slamming his forehead into the metal table, listening to Jake’s cry of pain with a faint grin on his face, then jerking his head back up, to look into exhausted, foggy light-colored eyes. “Have some fucking manners, Stanton.”

“Fair ‘nough,” Jake slurs, head pounding with pain, slumping to the side. “Can I please request a fuckin’ nap, sir-”

“No.” Everly goes back to humming, tries the username and password again. Wrong again. Jake wonders if he fucks it up again, if he’ll get locked out. Since this is clearly meant to be some kind of dramatic reveal, the idea strikes him as funny. Not just funny, fucking hilarious. Jake starts to giggle, unwillingly, almost helplessly. Big tough guy can’t figure out his fucking password for his Big Villain Moment. It’s funny, right? It’s really fucking funny, and shit, he’s so tired the glint of light off the table and the little spot of blood from his head, smeared across, seems funny because it’s like looking at clouds, what shape is this? and Chris on the grass bouncing up and down on his feet and saying it’s it’s it’s a kangaroo, Jake, it’s a kangaroo, in Australia they call them roos, they just say, say, say say say roo I saw a man on TV he said, said roo, he just said roo and that cloud looks like-

There’s a flash of pain, impact of palm across bruises that have already blossomed dark on his face, and Jake grunts, jerking to the side, somehow managing to stay in his seat. 

“Stop laughing. Stay quiet.” Everly narrows his eyes, tries one more time to put the password in. This time it works and the screen flashes black with the KINECTREMOT logo across the front, a soft chime of sound.

What he’s looking at now, Jake doesn’t really understand. Some kind of inbox, but for pictures and videos. They’re all labeled with six-digit numbers, a long list of them, with the words PRIMARY, SECONDARY, TERTIARY next to each one. Not always the same word. Some of them say one thing, some say another. Some of them just say CALL IN or EMERGENCY.

Everly chooses a search bar option and starts painstakingly entering a number, and Jake stares, dumbly, wondering what the fuck he’s looking at, but with a sick certainty that he really, really does not want to know.

Everly’s still humming that stupid song, and Jake realizes why it’s sticking in his head, now. “Are y’… are y’humming Hotel California?”

Everly stops, blinks, looks over at him, genuinely baffled. Then he laughs, a rumbling sound. Jake hates that fucking smug piece of shit’s laughter. “I guess I am. Hadn’t noticed. It was playing on my way from the hotel this morning. You like that song?”

Jake stares at him, as evenly as he can, his eyelids trying to droop down, body desperate for sleep. “Used to.”

Everly chuckles again. “Yeah, it’s overplayed. Anyway… here we go.” He’s picked one number out - 223499, it doesn’t mean anything, and next to it he reads PRIMARY/SECONDARY and what the fuck does that mean? A long line of little thumbnail images pop up, with labels next to them. INTAKE, ISOLATION DAY 1, DAY 2, DAY 3. 

The drop in Jake’s stomach gets worse. He feels almost nauseous with fear - not for himself, exactly, but for what he knows he’s about to see. “Wait, wait-… what are you-”

“Shut up, Stanton.”

“No. No, I, I can’t-… what are you goin’ t’do?” Jake looks up, bleary, frightened now. Everly just smiles back down at him, that smug fucking shit-eating grin, and Jake pulls hard on his restrained wrists, feels a flash of bright agonizing pain as the plastic, caked in two days of dried blood, reopens the raw wounds. He grunts at the ache, but everything from his shoulders down has hurt like hell since day one.

“You know, I requested authorization for injectables, too-”

“What th’fuck are those?” 

“It’s pretty obvious from the name, I think. Got overruled on that one, too. Fuckin’ higher-ups worried about traceable compounds and shit. I mean, I get the concern. We can’t keep you long enough for that shit to get fully out of your system. But it would’ve made getting to watch this part a lot more fun.”

Everly selects a thumbnail, and the screen opens up - it’s like some bizarre fucked-up snuff-film take on a Netflix episode choice, with the thumbnail suddenly blown up to a larger size and a small description next to it. Someone made a computer program for this, Jake realizes with an even sicker drop in his stomach. Disgust ricochets around his body. Somewhere, at some point, someone built a computer program designed to let these assholes show him a video of… of what?

223499 - CONTRACT SIGNING he reads, just as Everly pushes play.

“Why show me this?” He asks, in nearly a whisper. “D’you… d’you think this is gonna make me not want to, to help?”

“No, I think you won’t break today, and today’s all I got. Give me a week and a white room and I’d have you taking food from my fingers, but sadly, our time together nears its end. Here’s what I can do, though. I can show you something you can’t ever prove. And I can watch your fuckin’ face the whole time. I can get you all riled up, all angry, and send you home with that bitterness just roiling around inside you.”

On the TV screen, Jake sees a small table in a blank room. No pictures on the walls, no decorations at all. Just a small table, two chairs, one on either side. Sitting in one chair is a woman in a suit - everything about her screams lawyer. Behind her, leaning against the wall, in a prim pantsuit, is a woman Jake has seen on TV before, that Renford bitch. 

Antoni walked into the room when she was on TV once, turned around and walked out, and didn’t come out of his room for the rest of the day. Kauri flinched when Nat had to wear heels for a meeting and came walking down the stairs. 

Jake knows pure soulless evil when he sees it, and there it is, looking bored.

There’s another person, too, mostly hidden by the shadows in the corner, but there’s something weirdly familiar about what Jake can see of him, something he can’t quite place. He’s wearing a pastel-colored polo and light slacks, weirdly fussy looking, like he’s dressed in case he ends up on TV.

Which, Jake guesses he kind of did.

They’re chatting - the sound of it too low for Jake’s tired brain to parse into words he can understand. Just easy, comfortable talk. Coworkers chit-chatting about their weekends, waiting for the day to start. Lawyer’s got a mug of coffee in front of her, takes a sip. It’s normal inane corporate chatter and these are people who do unimaginable damage to other peoples’ lives and they don’t feel a fucking thing about it.

“I won’t get what I want today. But I think I’ll see what I’m hoping to see on your face - and I think you’ll go home with something stuck in your head that you can’t get out.” Everly moves around behind him, stands with his hands on Jake’s shoulders, rubbing thumbs in like he’s giving him the world’s most painful backrub. Jake grinds his teeth together to keep from making a single sound. His eyes want to close, to look away, but there’s some sort of fascination that keeps his eyes glued to the screen.

He’s always wondered what the contract signings are like. The rescues never remember them.

There must be some sound - everyone kind of shifts around in their chairs, straightens up, and the lawyer pulls some papers out of a small folder in front of her, slides them across to the other side of the table in front of the other chair, sets a plastic pen down next to the paper. Fiddles with it, shifting it back and forth minutely, until it’s perfectly parallel.

A door behind the empty chair opens, and Jake stares in perfect horror as Chris is shoved into the room, a man Jake doesn’t recognize behind him, wearing the handler uniform and prodding Chris with a black stick.

He’s so… small, isn’t he?

Jake rarely thinks about how small Chris really is. In the video, he’s hunched over, his hair looks weirdly clumpy. He’s wearing a loose white V-neck T-shirt that’s way too big for him, like it’s oversized or they just couldn’t be bothered to get him one that fit. His knees stick out from under a pair of thin black shorts.

“Oh my God,” Jake whispers. His heart feels like ice in his chest, the cold is spreading through his veins, right to the tips of his toes in his sneakers, now bloodied like everything else he was wearing when they dragged him in here two… three? days ago.

Thumbs dig into his shoulder blades and he hisses, jerking forwards away from the pressure. “Recognize him, huh?”

Jake sets his jaw. “I recognize that you’re a fuckin’ monster piece of shit-”

Everly grabs his head and slams it down on the table again. Jake goes limp, groaning at the spark of white-hot pain, little spots in his vision even with closed eyes. Then his head is jerked back up. Motherfucker really likes walking the head injury line. “Watch. The. Video.”

“This… this won’t make me any less angry,” Jake manages to force out between numb lips. “None of it will.”

“Good. Then you’ll fuck up. The angry ones always do.” Everly grabs his chin from behind him and forces it forward. 

On the screen, Chris is sitting in the previously empty chair now, the handler’s hand on one shoulder, thumb rubbing back and forth across the back of his neck. He’s shivering so hard Jake can see it in the slightly blurry video, looking around at everyone. There are deep visible shadows under his eyes, and Jake watches the way he sits, with his hands sort of between his legs, can tell from the tension in his arms he’s gripping onto the chair. “Wh-why am, am, am, am-”

“Fuckin’ broken record,” The handler behind him says, a man Jake has never seen, and smacks Chris hard against the back of the head. He jerks forward, whimpering, and Jake would give anything to be able to crawl into the screen and save him.

There are tears in his eyes he has to blink away, but now that he sees him he doesn’t want to miss a second. He’s so little, even though he’s almost the same age he is now. Being in that place, with those people, makes him seem so small, so deeply in need of protection. He’s so fucking scared and none of them even care.

“No one mentioned a stammer,” The man in the corner says. His voice is familiar, too, it sounds like it’s tailor-made for TV. Smooth as silk, with something rotten hidden underneath. “I’m not interested in a fixer-upper, Karen.”

“I’m not selling you one, either,” Renford replies, and Jake’s hands curl into fists behind his back. “He hasn’t been trained yet. No one starts training until they sign.”

“What…” Chris - not Chris, not really, this is whoever he was before he became Chris - flinches and looks backwards up at the handler, as if checking for permission to speak. Jake swallows back bile when the handler nods, and Chris looks back forwards again, his gaze jumping all over the room. He doesn’t seem to see the man in the corner at all, and Jake squints as he realizes there’s some kind of one-way glass along that area, angled so the camera sees everyone, but he’s pretty sure Chris can’t see the man. “Who’s… talking?” 

His words are slurred together and deliberately, carefully spaced. 

He talked like this when he first arrived at the shelter, for days after. Flat, meaningless syllables dropped and run from, certain he’d be hurt if he made a single sound that wasn’t allowed.

“Not important, trainee,” The handler says. “Pay attention to what is important.”

“Yes, um… yes, yes, sir,” Chris says in a low, weak voice.

“Bet you’d like to commit murder right about now,” Everly says from behind him.

“You’d win that bet,” Jake growls.

“I always fuckin’ do.”

“What, um-… what’s happening?” Chris asks, softly, looking around the room.

“This is your consent form,” The lawyer says, tapping a fingernail on the paper between them. Chris winces, slightly, hunching back into the handler’s touch. “All your information is there as provided by your adult guardian-”

“Joanne? Aunt Jo?” Chris is looking around, confused, blinking. “But, but, but but she… she, I’m supposed to, to live with her now-”

“Not anymore, you’re not,” The handler says, with a laugh.

“What, what, what-what, what, what does that-”

The handler hits Chris hard across the back of the head again, and he bites down on his lower lip and goes silent. 

“You’d have gotten her an even higher payout if you didn’t talk so fucking much,” The handler says, grumbling, like Chris is the problem here.

Chris’s expression collapses from a nervous, frightened curiosity to an awful well of pain and grief. “Gotten her, her, her a what?”

The lawyer ignores him and keeps speaking. “… and your legal identification, confirming that you’re overage-”

“But, but I’m not, I’m, I’m n-not, I just turned, uh-” Chris is struggling, and Jake wants to climb into that screen and hold him, calm him down, help him slow his mouth to find the words. Chris’s eyes are wide, and his fear can be read, oddly foggy and dazed, like he’s operating on a slight delay. “I just, just just just-”

The handler behind him grips the back of his neck, like a man grabbing the scruff of an unruly dog, and Chris’s voice cuts off like turning a radio dial. 

There’s a moment of silence where Jake can hear his harsh, panting breaths.

“What did we talk about, ‘499? About lying?”

Chris’s hands come up onto the table, tapping on it, not loud enough for Jake to hear. “N-not, not, not to lie to you, but-but, um, but but but I’m, I’m not-”

“Stop that shit with your hands. Now.”

Nothing visibly changes but Chris goes quiet again, staring straight down. His hands stop moving. His shoulders are hiked nearly to his ears and Jake wonders if the handler holding him by the neck tightened his grip. 

“How old are you, trainee?” The handler asks the question heavy with loaded double-meanings, obvious enough Jake can read them. Give the right answer or get hurt. 

“Eighteen,” Chris whispers, with wide scared eyes. Everyone in the room seems satisfied with the blatant, obvious lie.

“Good. And is that the legal consenting age?”

“… yes.”

“Good boy.” The handler pets heavily through Chris’s hair, and the boy shudders in disgust - Jake has never seen him react to touch like that, not from anyone. Just one more sign of a person that’s been totally erased. 

“Pl-please, please don’t, please don’t-don’t, don’t touch me-”

“That’s not an option available to you any longer,” The handler says, pulling the black stick from his belt - and Jake knows what those are, he knows exactly what those are, he’s had one raining down on his back and his ribs and his arms now, had one stuck against his knee to force electric shock into his nerves. He wants to push back, but he’s so, so tired. “Your options are to take the touch as it’s given and thank me for it, or…” He taps the black stick on the back of one of Chris’s hands. The boy’s hand jerks back, but when the handler tsks, clicking his tongue against his teeth, Chris lays the hand slowly back out on the table.

“Why would you ever tape this?” Jake asks, barely aware his mouth is moving.

“Lunchtime entertainment,” Everly replies, blithely. The two of them watch as Chris says something, but there’s a strange rushing sound in Jake’s head and for a second, he’s so… furious… that he can’t even hear. All he can do is stare, the rushing sound drowning him out, and then the black baton comes down on his fingers and Jake cries out, as Chris’s mouth opens in a painful wail, as he tries to pull his hands protectively back to himself only to have them forced back onto the table again.

And hit again.

And again.

And again.

Jake’s going to be sick all over the floor if it goes on any longer. 

The man who has been watching, hidden in the corner, laughs at the sight. He laughs harder, louder, when the handler forces Chris to thank him for the pain. 

It’s his laugh that Jake recognizes, finally. It’s the laugh that turns him from shadowy and familiar to a face that Jake’s seen on TV a dozen times or more. Jake has protested his speeches on the human pet industry, has written essays on the complicity of government in human atrocities with this very man in mind, but when he was thinking of complicity he was never, ever thinking of this.

“You sold him to the fucking Governor?” 

No wonder he’s so fucking cozy with WRU. They sold him a goddamn teenager for a personal toy-

“Took you long enough.” Everly pats him on the head, good dog, and Jake jerks away from the touch, thinking of Chris doing the same - and how he pushes into every touch now, good or bad, can’t tell the difference. Has to be told, over and over again. How many days without letting me sleep would it take to get me to give in like that? “Watching you watch this… you know who that kid is. You’ve seen him before. Lie to me or don’t, your face gave it all away. Our informant told us you’ve been bringing a kid who fits the description to your classes.”

Oh, God. The raid was my fault.

On the screen, Chris is signing the contract, hands shaking, the handler’s palm still laying flat against the back of his neck, over the heavy black collar he has around his throat. 

“Just a homeless kid,” Jake grinds out, staring at Chris’s terrified shadowed face. Watching as he’s dragged back out, stumbling, with the handler’s grip iron-tight on his thin arm. Chris was tapping in the video, Jake thinks. He tapped before, that’s part of him, not something he picked up. Did he hit his head, before, too? “Could’ve been him. Wouldn’t know. He left.”

“Different story than where we started when I brought you in,” Everly remarks. He puts a hand on the back of Jake’s neck. Rubs his thumb, back and forth, just at the nape where skin and soft, short hair meet. 

Just like the handler in the video, with Chris.

“Who called?” Jake asks, holding himself very, very still under the touch. He’s seen Antoni go like this, he thinks - just holding himself like a statue, his eyes straight ahead, not looking. When he has a bad night and spends the day on edge, when any little thing sets him off. “Who told you it was us?”

If it was that fucking frat guy - he’s in one of Jake’s classes, he’s probably seen him with Chris, could even have seen him doing yoga over on the grass, could have seen them in the coffee shop or eating lunch in the big seating area, anywhere, really - Jake will hunt down which frat he’s in and personally set the whole goddamn house on fire, starting with that asshole’s bedroom-

“A Professor Gregory Barnham,” Everly says. The words mean nothing to Everly. They mean entirely too much to Jake.

“My fucking Ethics in Political Philosophy professor?” For a second, his brain just refuses to reconcile what he’s been told. He’s been careful in that class. He’s kept his head down, stayed quiet, and the professor never told him not to bring Chris and the professor has smiled at Chris. Said hello. Nice guy, if definitely not super into the pet lib thing, and Jake had been so careful, bringing Chris in the back, keeping him carefully separate from the other students. 

Not careful enough.

That son of a bitch saw Jake with a kid who was slowly coming out of his shell and he thought, better call WRU on this one. Better have that kid all fucked up again.

He’s probably not going to go back to that class. He’s probably going to fail it. He’s probably going to spend the next week convincing himself not to light the professor’s house on fire, and feeling like he kind of owes Frat Guy an apology for assuming the worst.

Sorry, dude, you trusted my intentions enough to be fuckin’ vulnerable about your shitty fucking fraternity buying a fucking preson, I decided to repay the favor by assuming you’re the asshole who could have gotten my family killed-

Jake doesn’t think about calling them his family. The word doesn’t even register in his tired mind. It’s just there, the foundation of the thought.

“Why tell me who called in?” Jake asks. He can’t figure out this guy’s angle. He’s giving Jake too much information, isn’t he? Showing him Chris’s video, the contract signing of an underage kid, the fucking governor the one apparently buying him… telling him who called him in… why give him all of this? Why give him all this information?

He’s too exhausted to try and outthink him. He… just doesn’t get it. He needs three days of sleep and probably some serious medical attention at this point, and he can’t even begin to try and think through this until he gets at least one of those things.

“Already told you, numbnuts.” Everly lets go of him, and Jake breathes a sigh of relief as he steps away. “I’m making you nice and angry. Go on, Jakob Collins Stanton. Go be the face of the fuckin’ movement. I can’t wait to see your fuckin’ dumbshit expressions on TV. Go on, Stanton. Get real… fucking… angry.”

Jake sees the black baton unhooked from the guy’s belt in the corner of his eyes, and his muscles tense, but he doesn’t move. 

“Why tell me it was the Governor?” He asks, but the baton is already swinging at his head. When it connects, Jake’s head smacks forward into the metal table, he drops to the ground, and everything goes black.

He wakes up and the metal table and chairs are gone. The TV and its little wheelie tray are gone. The zipties on his wrists are gone and his shoulders scream as he pulls his hands forwards, looking at how deeply the plastic dug in. His head is pounding, throbbing, and he feels even more exhausted than he did before.

He cries, for a while. There’s a cop in the room who doesn’t stop him or help, just kicks a box of Kleenex across the floor.

Eventually they tell him he’s been charged with resisting arrest, but that his bail’s been paid. No one tells him but he sees a calendar on his way out, limping heavily, walking in bloodstained jeans and T-shirt looking like he lost a fuck of a fight, and realizes he’s been here for three days.

Chris has been alone for three days.

Any hint of pain Jake is feeling is washed away by the panic that takes its place. Chris can’t handle being alone that long. He needs touch, needs it, the constant never-ending compulsion for human contact that all of the ones like him have. Who even knows what he’d do - go next door or let anyone who knocked in or, shit, just start testing people, like he does, and that could get him hurt or killed or taken advantage of or-

Unless Nat…

“Uh, um,” Jake stumbles over his words, and the cop glances at him, dismissive. “Natalie… Natalie Yoder. The woman with me. Is, is she… was she let go before me, or…?”

The cop gestures ahead of himself, and Jake raises his eyes to see Nat sitting on a bench with a vaguely familiar man that Jake has never actually spoken to before, although he’s seen him watering flowers outside his yard. He looks like some kind of cowboy. 

Natalie looks like hell - rings around her eyes and a few bruises littered across her face - but he can tell he looks worse, because both she and the man who lives across the street from the shelter recoil when they see him.

Natalie jumps to her feet. “Jake, what the hell-”

Jake walks to her, as fast as the cop will let him, and nearly collapses against her, resting his head on her shoulder. She puts one hand up over his hair on the back of his head and the other around him, holding him tightly. “I resisted arrest,” Jake says. “Apparently.”

“Yeah,” Nat murmurs. “Me, too. Jefferson here’s our neighbor, he’s come to take us home.”

“Is… everyone safe, there?” Jake asks, low-voiced, just above a whisper. 

“We’ll talk in the car. Come on, we’re all paid up, they’re ready to sign off on us going. I… didn’t know about your dad, Jake.”

Jake stiffens and pulls away from her, looking away. “Yeah, well. I didn’t know about your job history, did I? We both kept secrets.”

There’s a silence, long and uncomfortable, broken only by the sounds of the department around them - people working at computers, talking on phones, chatting over coffee. It makes Jake think of the lawyer in the video, sipping her coffee before they dragged a teenager in to sign his life away, watching with a passive, uncaring expression while they beat his hands with a baton.

“Guess we have some things to talk about in the car on the way home, huh?” Nat says, trying for cheer. When Jake responds with silence, she sighs. “Fair enough. I should have told you.”

“Yeah. You should have. I have some other stuff to tell you, too, about who called-”

“I know,” Nat says, heavily, rubbing at her eye with one fist, looking oddly like an exhausted toddler. “They told me. That landscaping company that works down the street.”

“Wait.” Jake frowns, looks around. No one’s really looking at them, now. “Wait. I got told it was one of my professors.”

“You did?” Nat hesitates. “Then they gave us two different stories, Jake. So… which one is true?”

“If you ask me,” Jefferson says, in a soft, unobtrusive voice, “probably neither of them. Come on, we can continue this little guessing game in my car, yeah? I’ve laid down some towels, I had a feeling you might still be, um… bleeding… like that.”

They leave the police station in silence, Jake sitting in the backseat of Jefferson’s ancient Subaru, beat half to hell but the thing’s still running, somehow. All he can think of is getting home to Chris, keeping his promise. 

“Look,” Nat says, after they’ve sat in silence other than Jefferson’s quiet NPR playing from the car’s radio. “When I started the job-”

“Not yet.” Jake cuts her off, and his voice is harsher than he means it to be. His eyes have closed and he’s not sure how he’ll ever open them again. “Chris first.”

“You know, your, um… Chris is really doing fine-” Jefferson starts.

“Don’t care. I don’t want to think about anything else just yet.” Jake’s face throbs. His head feels like it’s stuffed full of cotton dipped in acid. His shoulders ache, his wrists look like they’ve been wrapped in razorwire, one of his ribs is probably bruised, he knows his torso is a fucking mess of black and blue, he’s exhausted and starving and pissed off and all he can think about is that fucking handler saying, go on, Stanton. Get real fucking angry.

What does it mean that they want him to be? And if they gave he and Nat two different stories about who turned them in, which one is true? What if neither of them is? What’s their plan? Or is there one? Maybe they just want him to get paranoid and freaked out, see if he stumbles, fucks it up. Maybe this is all just to get him wondering exactly who is out to get him.

Maybe Everly just thought it’d be fucking funny to get him all worked up.

He can’t think about this now. He’s too tired, he’ll only make the dumbest fucking decisions if he tries.

No, he just…

He just has to get home to Chris.

Keep his promises, first. Figure out everything else after that.

Told you I’d come back for you, man. 

Jake thinks of the boy in the video, asking about his Aunt Jo, the look of crumbling sorrow in his face at their reply.

I made a promise to you, and I’m going to keep it.

But I am definitely real fuckin’ angry.

[waveridden]

wyatt pothos for the character ask game!!

congratulations you have unlocked A Ship I Made Up By Myself But Feel Really Strongly About. i’ll do that at the end

favorite thing about them: i love my strong buff wife. i think she is very kindhearted and she could bench-press me. also the lore that she wanted to be a pitcher but kept throwing the ball like she was shooting a three-pointer is one of my favorite things in blaseball

least favorite thing about them: ma’am please stop feeling guilty literally nobody saw the pods thing coming

favorite moment: snackrifice. always snackrifice. i have to be honest it’s hard for me sometimes to excise my own fic from the primary lore but i definitely think like... even if she didn’t lead the push, it was a conscious decision, not something that Happened to them

brOTP: i mean it’s gotta be snackrifice pitchers brotp but it’s also definitely pothos/quitter. wyatt solidarity

OTP: i am going to put this at the end because it’s going to be long but the answer is polkadot patterson. pothodot hive rise. one day i’m going to write this for real

nOTP: it’s not a notp per se but i think pothos/quitter like... hooked up twice and then were like “okay cool that’s done now”

random headcanon: this is the second major league sport she’s played in after blasketball and i think that she like... just has a shit-ton of famous friends. not people she’s super close with. but sometimes she will throw house parties and it’ll be, like, quitter, the rest of the tacos, and tyra banks

unpopular opinion: i have nooooo idea. i think she should’ve been the one to land on the lift. buff wyatt rights.

song i associate with them: this is less with them and more general but the reason my snackrifice fic is titled stand tall is because the julie and the phantoms song “stand tall” was stuck in my head so i used it as a placeholder and never changed it. so that

favorite picture of them: all of fancymancer’s art but i am especially fond of hlomecoming pothos

and now for the pothodot manifesto:

disclaimer this is pretty heavily based in my own snackrifice fic so i know it’s not gonna be for everyone but here we go. come with me on this journey.

polkadot patterson has just been trapped in a peanut shell, and they are completely isolated. they are going to be completely isolated until the blaseball gods smile on them and let birds rescue them. this might take two months. it might take three years. they have no way of knowing. all they know is they are trapped and they are alone.

until one day they hear a voice. they didn’t really know the tacos pitchers before the snackrifice, but they can tell from context that it’s wyatt pothos. and she’s talking about them. she’s talking about how much she admires them and how impressed she is by them. not with any expectation of sucking up or brownnosing or whatever. just because that’s what she thinks.

now polkadot is connected to the other shells, so they talk, of course. there’s a limited number of people to talk to, of course they talk to each other. it turns out that wyatt pothos is cuttingly funny. she’s a fan of dot’s, sure, but she’s not moony over them or anything; she treats them like she treats any other player.

they get into arguments, about things that matter and things that don’t, and they learn that she will go to war for the people she loves, that she cries at historical movies a lot, that she knows exactly the right questions to get polkadot to open up. polkadot likes her. polkadot likes her a lot.

and then polkadot gets eaten.

except that’s not exactly right. they survive, come back mostly the same (if a little squiddish) and they’re outside of the shell but everyone is still in there. pothos is still in there. polkadot is going to get her out and she is going to be okay -- at least, that’s what they think until day x. until the shelled one’s pods. until the first time polkadot sees wyatt pothos after falling in love with her is when she steps onto the field with white hair and red eyes.

i’m gonna stop here because i genuinely do intend to write this one day but i think that at its best pothodot is a combination of 1) “falling in love at the end of the world” which is kind of my vibe lately 2) two people who care very deeply about everything learning to care very deeply about one another 3) lots and lots of hurt/comfort (dot feels guilty for getting out before the pods, pothos feels guilty for being in the pods in the first place), and 4) a happy ending. a real, actual happy ending that starts with polkadot patterson getting a call that wyatt pothos is on the jazz hands now.

[rukia-kuchiki-divided]

So I was talking with a friend about Ichigo and Rukia’s relationship - yep huge Ichiruki shipper here so this is a little biased - and he brought up the 5 Love Languages with respect to their relationship. So it got me thinking about what their love languages would be and why. This is just my opinion and I’m not a psychologist so there may be other perspectives on this. That’s totally natural. I’m throwing this under a read more so it doesn’t clog up everyone’s dash... 

If you aren’t familiar with the 5 love languages, here is a really brief summary of them but you can learn more about them here. In short, this theory is that each person’s “love language” can be categorized into 5 different languages (or rather how you show someone you care about them). This helps with couple’s counseling because sometimes two people really do care about each other but the ways they show the other that they care are not what that person needs to “fill their love tank”. So here are the 5 in no particular order and yes, I did copy them from here :

1)  Words of Affirmation -  These are verbal expressions of care and affection. Think: "Thanks for putting the kids to bed" or "You looked really nice today." Conversely, insults can be particularly upsetting to people who favor words of affirmation.

2) Gifts -  Tangible and intangible items that make you feel appreciated or noticed. Going to your partner's concert, for example, is as much of a gift as flowers or that new wine decanter you want. To individuals who favor this love language, the absence of everyday gestures or a missed special occasion are particularly hurtful.

3)  Acts of Service -  Doing something helpful or kind for your partner. Think: Waking up with the baby in the middle of the night or doing the dishes so your partner can relax. For someone who favors acts of service, ambivalence or a lack of support are more damaging than anything else.

4)  Quality Time -  Engaging in an activity together, particularly one you both enjoy, like a walk after dinner or watching a movie. If this is your love language, having a distracted or distant partner that makes you feel unseen or unheard is the biggest pitfall.

5)  Physical Touch -  Physical expressions of love, whether sexual or more platonic, such as holding hands, a back scratch, a hug, a kiss, or sex. The absence of such can leave these individuals feeling isolated in a relationship.

So people can have move than one or like a primary and secondary language if you want to dig deeper. Basically these are my head cannons - 

Rukia Kuchiki’s love language is Acts of Service. I’m basing this off her life as a whole and her personality. Rukia is really a self sacrificing person by nature and does this without thinking. Considering where she was raised, I imagine Rukia was used to lying, tricking, stealing, and probably a lot worse. 

Then we consider how many times Rukia’s been let down by people who had said one thing and did another? Renji and Byakuya as the two main ones. Renji was her only friend at the time and he let the title of nobility end his friendship with Rukia for 40 years! (Obviously this was a complicated situation with parts on both sides but that would require another post lol) Byakuya said he was adopting her into the family as his sister but treated her as coldly as a stranger for just as long. Words don’t mean a lot for her. I sort of delved into this earlier but think about it - it wasn’t Kaien’s words that got through to her when she joined the 13th squad - it was that he treated her just like a regular soul reaper. His words matched his actions and continued to match as their friendship developed. That’s what Rukia saw in Ichigo. His actions are what really stood out to him. I won’t keep going because that will turn into a whole ichiruki essay.

Ichigo Kurosaki’s love language is Words of Affirmation. I based this off of Ichigo’s life as well. His mother told him his name meant “to protect” and he took that to heart. He always remembers the words people tell him. He quotes words that are significant to him frequently in both conversation and battles. For example, he repeats Urahara’s words when fighting Kenpachi in the Soul Society Arc.  He repeats Rukia’s words to him countless times and frequently flashes back to conversations he’s had with her. It’s her words that help bring him out of his depression. Words and promises mean a lot to Ichigo. 

Again, these are just my opinions and observations - they don’t have to be yours if you don’t want. Even if you don’t ship them together, I still think these love languages apply to them.  Also I probably could have organized this better but I didn’t feel like it now. So this is what I have so far lol