#the trashcans writing

[blueish-bird]

In the narrow hours of the night I will wake to a downpour; through the window see your trashcans shining. I will swaddle myself in your warmest jacket, put on my big rain boots. I will brave this storm for you.

And when I am cold and wet and beyond porch light's reach, trashcans in tow, I will watch the world past your driveway. I will love the way dark turns form to silhouette, how the sound of my steps drown beneath the rain's big hush. I will want to leave you and your trashcans. To wander the earth as all lost things do.

[buttercupshands]

MHA didn't create some miracle way of helping others. It was never promised to be this way. And when it came to villains...

Spoilers for manga all the way to chapter 423.

The only way to get anything in life in MHA was to be born "normal" like everyone else and that way of thinking never left Izuku with Toga getting the same treatment she did before from everyone from her family to her "normal" classmates. It was Ochako who helped Toga even if just a little by lifting the weight of all the feelings that Toga had.

She couldn't save Toga the way one could save a civilian by saving them from harm. If it worked that way Dabi would've saved Toga even before Ochako could apologize for failing to notice Toga. She was so lazer focused on saving everyone else, that she was just another villain to stop, not a human.

Even if by the end of it Ochako helped Toga to deal with her grief, acceptance as it was wasn't something possible when a quirk makes you want to drink someone's blood from jealousy.

We got a bittersweet ending with Toga, in which she probably died from blood loss just like her double did in MVA. If it wasn't for Twice she would've died back then.

Giving away her blood for Ochako wasn't a redemption or a way to save Toga in the end, more as it was her being true to herself until the very end.

Just like Twice chose to stay with the League even if Hawks offered him a way to survive that battle. He refused and died protecting his friends who accepted him instead of choosing to betray them and accept Hawks' offer.

After Twice's death... It was a matter of time that more 'active' LoV members would join him as well. As sad as it is, we now can return to Izuku.

Who, after his time OFA-AFO quirk space, now wanted to help a "crying boy" he saw in Tenko just as before with Katsuki in chapter 1. He didn't forgive Tomura and didn't excuse the way he chose to solve his problems.

It didn't mean that Tomura would survive in their battle, even if Izuku didn't see killing others as a way to solve problems. He didn't understand Tomura, but he still wanted to try, and try he did.

The rest of this post was nothing more than a contextual prologue to understand that it's not the first time a hero failed to save a villain and in Twice's case we know that he died and his death was the reason Toga started thinking about her own possible death and Dabi finally revealed himself as Toya.

The goal of saving a "crying boy" never was an end-goal for Izuku in the Final arc, since helping Tomura deal with his feelings just left him hollow with a goal that clashed with Izuku's. As being a hero for villains meant destroying the world for them to help them live freely.

But that was before AFO resurfaced.

Sadly after that Tomura who was talking about making his own choices for a while now stopped doing that. Even if he still had a goal of helping villains and only villains, Tomura was almost gone. And his goals were now unreachable.

Izuku helped Nana who in turn kept Tomura from fading away entirely. In MHA there were countless situations where Izuku's help affected people by helping a different person to keep hope, All-Might being the first one and Nana being the last one at the moment.

Hollow after Izuku helped him to get rid of his hatred Tomura could do the only thing he did - accept the situation as it was.

Accepting AFO as his Sensei, accepting Stain's ideals and Overhaul's deal was the way he solved his problems. Just like Izuku had a problem of understanding something outside of his norm, Tomura was accepting too many things, which lead to his downfall after accepting AFO's quirk.

Just like Twice could've given up everything that he had for his friends so did Tomura.

With Izuku helping as much as he could let Tomura to finally rest as he wasn't really living ever since waking up in the hospital. With his body now affected by AFO's wishes instead of his own until the end.

In a way Izuku didn't succeed in his wish for Tomura to stop ever since PLF war arc. As he "kept fighting to destroy" no matter how hard Izuku tried to stop him.

The only thing he succeeded in was changing Tomura's mind about himself, instead of viewing himself as a monster he accepted that he was a human just like Izuku said. A "crying boy" who couldn't really destroy Izuku's hands in the end.

For a group of Villains who weren't supposed to get profiles of their own at the start of the series, League is slowly fading as the most memorable group that there was in MHA, getting backstories, their own Villain themed arc all the while being as human as anyone else.

As sad as their story is they were not "unlucky", they didn't need a happy false ending where they would need to change to be normal - they chose to live this way and they lived it to it's fullest.

[ariespetal]

Thinking about Hajime again and my personal head canon that he is such a poetry guy in secret. I just know it- I feel it in my bones (his overly dramatic inner monologues)

[tswwwit]

I am in

[normal-thoughts-official]

i need mal to have a mental breakdown so bad it makes me look stupid

this is the part where i beg you to hear me out. listen. mal's been a bit more like himself these last few chapters but his route still feels stilted. i know you know what i'm talking about. every time there is one of those "one of the LIs reacts to you getting hurt or something of the surt" things, mal's is always the most lukewarm, if not outright cold. the passion and personality only really comes out when we kiss. and like, listen, i romance almost exclusively women and POC (usually Black or brown POC) in this app (I'm pretty sure Aerin is the only white male LI I've ever had anything with? lol), so i'm very very used to my LIs of choice having obviously had a lot less thought when their routes were written. but this is different. it feels almost intentional. and his book 1 route wasn't like this, either

and what calls my attention the most is that mal almost never smiles lately. in book 1 smiling was pretty much mal's default sprite. i think mal was smiling, like, 50% of the time he was on screen, if not more, and the other expressions had to share the rest among each other. but in book 2 we go entire chapters without mal smiling once. and if you pay attention he almost never looks angry or sad, either (he never looked sad a lot but he did look angry often enough, i know because i always laugh at his angry face. rip king ily but calm down). he is in his neutral expression sprite 90% of the fucking time. he looks neutral more often than tyril does (although tyril obviously smiles a lot more in book 2 than he did in book 1, it's noticeable. still, though, he's tyril)

and we know that mal used humor and an untouchable persona as a defense mechanism in book 1, it's been said. so it makes sense that mal was smiling all the time; i remember mal felt more real when his face turned neutral, at least to me. and mal keeps making the same jokes as before, so - why is he not smiling?

and like we know that mal is not okay. it's been shown. the self sacrificial tendencies, the overworking himself, the self doubt. it's been said in text. but i think the neutral sprite is the biggest clue here. because a lot of the time, mal is being objectively funny, but his neutral sprite makes his jokes feel flat. mal feels flat. and i think it's because he's trying to cling to his old coping mechanisms - charming, funny personality - but he doesn't have the energy to anymore, because he's changed, because he's exhausted. and he's said that he felt like he was trying to keep the group together on his own, and we know that mal, for all his damn posturing, takes his responsibilities seriously when he accepts them. he learned how to patch a roof at age 6 so wren could sleep better. he paid off her debt before he paid his. he built a fucking orphanage, for fuck's sake. when mal decides that he's gonna do something, he gives it his all, and he refuses to be stopped. he's going to the goddamn thieves guild to help MC. he's been on the run from the guild for fucking years and they never found him despite him being in whitetower. this mf is dedicated

all of that is to say: during this last year, mal wouldn't stop. he refused to stop. going to the garden every day. building the orphanage. keeping tabs on imtura (i'll never shut up about it HE KEPT TABS ON IMTURA). trying to keep the friend group together. taking care of and feeding a bunch of fucking orphans. the only way to keep yourself going with this much responsibility at once is by repressing every fucking feeling hard and not thinking about anything else. which explains the constant neutral face. mal can't feel anything, because he barricaded everything inside himself so he could keep going. the only way he can ever express himself is physically, when he kisses MC, and that's about it. and so he never quite expresses any feeling, even concern for MC, or smiling, or anything, because he's too busy not stopping, because if he stops he'll crumble

so like. for this to have any closure at all. mal has to crumble. i think he's past the point where he can talk about this healthily and avoid a major breakdown. there's too much threatening to burst, and he's too tired. i genuinely cannot see any way for this to be resolved that doesn't involve mal fucking breaking down, and finally acknowledging how much he's hurting. he's gonna have to stop and look at this, and clearly this will only happen once it comes bursting out of him

and i want it, god damn it! i want mal to fucking lose it. i want that catharsis and i want the angst and i want the drama. fuck!!!!

but if there was ever a time for mal to lose his shit, it was chapter 13. i even wrote about it at the time. i mean, he had just been talking with MC about how much he was hurting when they were gone. fixing the roof and talking about how he feels like he's dragging the group down and he's the least important one. and then MC disappeared. again. in the shadow realm. with valax. and he had no idea where they were. and... nothing. nada. "don't do that to me again 😐". so i struggle to imagine what could possibly be worse than that to trigger a breakdown. MC full on dying and ressurrecting nia style? i mean, seriously

and so i'm climbing the walls because if mal has a breakdown? then everything up to this point will have been good writing. the way every scene felt stilted, most jokes fell flat, everyone felt that distance between mal and MC, that shitass "reunion", it will all have been part of his arc and i'll love it and hold it dearly because oh yeah, i fucking love emotional repression for the sake of self sacrifice, sign me the fuck up. but if not then i don't see how any of this can be part of a coherent arc, and so it'll just have. sucked. after his route in book 1 being so good and satisfying they just, what, gave up? lost their groove the first few chapters and then regained it later but never really addressed it? i don't know, man. i really hope whatever's coming is good but i'm used to choices letting me down, so

this post doesn't have a beautiful conclusion or anything i'm just kinda anxious and frustrated. this is why i hate reading things that aren't finished. god damn it

[agalactichalo]

Brothers in Arms and Odds (TMNT 2012)

@tmnt-write-fight Attack For @bambiraptorx

A big thank you @awildaspenappeared for helping me write this!

Author Note

Totally not listening to brothers in arms while writing this.

I will probably move this to A03 When I can make an account

Summary

Splinter’s death had left the four brother's relationships strained with tensions high and simply surviving with a false sense of routine and pretending to cope with their Father’s passing. Due to the lack of proper training, self care and especially sleep, a simple fight of the remains of The Foot had them retreating defeated and injured. Tensions snapped and two brothers have to work through their differences and insecurities to move on and start to heal.

OR TLDR: Raph gets his ass beat and he and Leo have a bitch fight before making up.

Word count: 2,560

♡━━━━━♡

A few weeks have passed since Splinter’s death, and no one within the Hamato household is coping well with it. Each of them is dealing with the loss in their own way. Every moment drags on, an endless cycle of distraction and mindless routine.

Michelangelo sleeps most of the time, choosing to avoid the harsh reality of Splinter's absence. This time, there’s no futuristic robot to reverse what’s happened—no way to bring Splinter back. It’s a truth Mikey isn’t ready to face. In his dreams, at least, everything remains as it was, and he’s willing to stay in that world for as long as possible.

Raphael throws himself into his training, his hits growing fiercer with every session. The training dummy doesn’t stand a chance under the relentless barrage of attacks. It’s Chompy, his pet, that occasionally breaks his cycle of aggression. The tenderness with which Raph feeds his alien turtle contrasts sharply with his damaged knuckles and shaky hands, consequences of pushing himself too hard.

Donatello hides away in his lab, avoiding sleep entirely. Every attempt to rest ends in nightmares, haunting him with visions of their father’s death. His near-death experience looms over him too, a constant reminder of how close they came to losing not one, but two family members. So, he focuses obsessively on his ever growing list of to-dos and projects: rebuilding Metalhead, upgrading the Shellraiser, anything he can think of to keep his mind occupied.

Leonardo tries to hold it all together, determined to live up to Splinter’s last command: to be the new sensei. It’s an overwhelming responsibility, but he refuses to let his father down, or his brothers. The weight of leadership is heavier now, after everything they’ve endured, and though the burden grows each day, Leo keeps pushing forward.

The only time the brothers talk anymore is during patrols, and even then, their coordination is lacking. The once effortless flow between them feels now disrupted. Mikey has lost his usual spark, Raph seems more reckless, willing to dive into fights without a second thought, and Donnie appears unfocused, his dislike for his staff more evident than ever. As for Leo, all he can do is watch, trying to lead while feeling like his brothers are slipping further into their own dark cycles.

One night as they race across the rooftops, recent sightings of the Foot Clan in the area bring them to a familiar abandoned warehouse. Smoke billows from the building, and the urgency propels them forward. But when they skid to a stop, Mikey’s momentum sends him over the edge. Leo’s heart leaps into his throat, but he catches Mikey by the lip of his shell in a swift, practiced motion. He put Mikey back on the roof.

Leo breathes in and out, counting under his breath, “One, two, and three,” steadying his nerves. His eyes scan the scene below. Among the Foot soldiers, he spots Tiger Claw and Baxter Stockman—two familiar foes.

He exhales slowly, his mind clearing as he formulates a plan. With a calm, steady voice, he delegates. “Alright, Raph, you’re on Foot duty. Just... don’t break the soldiers like you do the bots. Donnie, I need you to hack into Stockman’s tablet, disarm the Mousers, and gather any intel. Mikey, distract Stockboy, annoy him as much as you can. I’ll take care of Tiger Claw. Understood?”

He didn’t wait for an answer before he kicked off of the roof and flipped as he crashed into the scene very loudly. “Takeshi!” Leonardo yelled. There was no mistaking the mirth in the tiger’s eyes and Leo wasn’t about to give him any more advantages so he rushed forwards, drawing his blades.

The beat of his heart thudded in his tympanum, deafening the clash of Leonardo’s twin katanas locked on Tigerclaw’s machete. Leo felt like he had to take on the biggest threat alone and honestly, Barry Stackmen was not even close to the hardest villain they had to fight. He felt confident to let the other’s handle him without his constant surveillance. He could trust his team.

That was the case until Raph decided the robots weren’t enough of a challenge, his sais spinning in his hands before he steadied them. The middle child running after Tigerclaw, his movements rather unfocused and emotion driven as if this were just another training dummy. Leonardo found himself clutching to his katana’s tighter, he felt worry and annoyance bubble up inside him, “Raph! What are you doing!” He exclaimed in annoyance, turning into anger that seeped venom into his words. “You could’ve gotten hurt or in my way! You-”

Raph would grit his teeth, barely dodging an ice bullet from the enemy. “Yeah? Let you baby us and get hurt? What are you trying to do here Leo? Sacrifice yourself again? Join Spl-” “Raph! Leo! Enough dudes!” Michelangelo interrupts in exasperation. He was tired of their stupid, petty drama that pulled him out of The Zone, trademarked by Dr. Naminstein. He then proceeded to shriek as a Mouser barrelled into the back of his legs that he hadn’t been paying attention to.

Raphael and Leonardo whipped their heads round to the unyielding screech. “Mikey!” They yelled in unison, fear settling deep into them. This unfortunately left them distracted to the original threat facing them. Leo watched helplessly as a flash of red crossed his vision and he saw Raphael landing on the ground. Evidently after being hit with one of Tigerclaw’s lazer’s, a second shot following when his brother tried to get back to his feet.

Leo couldn’t afford to hesitate yet he found his feet glued to the concrete. A Mouser then attempted to bite his arm which shook him back to reality. He saw Mikey and Donnie together, easily fighting off the scientist but the original objective long abandoned.

Raphael was hurt and still climbing to his feet so Leo did the only thing that made sense. He slid in between his brother and Tigerclaw and as loudly as his hoarse voice could go and yelled. “Retreat!”

The safety of the smoke bomb flooded his vision as it exploded on the ground. He hoisted Raph over his shoulders and slunk into the shadows, fleeing back to the rooftops to cooperate. He shoved the fear that they would be followed down until he saw Donnie and Mikey hop over the ledge and join him. Instant relief almost had him forgetting the next plan of action.

With a nod he started sprinting off, ignoring Raphael’s protests and weak hits and demands to be put down. Usually he would’ve quipped back or at least argued with Leo but his silence was deemed serious enough to Raph that he stopped shortly thereafter. Mikey and Donnie were also quiet, even with Mikey’s occasional quips which were more sparse and weaker than usual. All this to say that the journey back had Leo’s body on autopilot and his mind running on overdrive about his failure. He had failed Splinter, his promise to keep his brothers safe, to be a leader and like a sensei and father to them, to be the front line. He had failed- was failing his brothers, his world, his purpose by being inadequate and was he so untrained and indigent that he got so easily distracted in a simple fight to get his brothers hurt was he so useless that- The familiar creak of the turnstiles after they were knocked rang in his ears and brought his mind back to the present. Leonardo let himself take presence in the now. He dumped Raph on the sofa in a more gentle manner, that was more of habit than response considering how hurt his brother was. Leo finally broke his silence. “What were you thinking? Why did you think getting in the way was a good idea you moron.” He then turned to Donnie and had a drastic change to a clear cut and icy tone instead of the fire that had erupted seconds before. “Can you grab the first aid kit for me?”

Raphael’s veins were hotter than lava and his nerves were all fried as he held his anger in. He wanted to scream at his brother, the mental bomb ticking away until Mikey left the room, “what was I thinking?” He laughed bitterly, “What was I thinking? You wanna know what I was thinking? Or do you want to stay on your self righteous high horse and keep pretending everything is fine!”

“Self righteous high horse-?” Leonardo would begin with disinfecting the shots on Raph’s wrist and thigh with a wipe. Luckily it looked mostly surface level for now. “Really? I’m trying to make sure everyone is okay Raph!”

“You’re trying to make sure everyone is okay? What about yourself?!”

“I’m fine Raph, and none of this is about me. I need to make sure you all are okay.” Raph kept pulling away when he had pressed too hard and Leo kept harshly dragging the limbs back in place. “Stay still!”

“None of us are fine Leo, you pretending you are is frustrating!!”

“At least I am trying to help everyone feel better!”

“No, you're trying to replace Splinter!-” there was a moment of silence before Raph would get up, not bothering to wait for Leo to be finished helping him anymore. “It’s like I said before! You were always his favorite and it's no wonder. Now you are even trying to be him!” He snapped before grabbing his sais in his uninjured hand and leaving. Heading out towards the sewers.

Leonardo got up, and made an attempt to go after Raph, however a hand on his shell would stop him, “Let him go bro. He will only get more mad if you try and talk to him now.” Mikey would say softly to his brother.

Minutes would turn into hours as time ticked on, Rapheal having not returned home yet. Leonardo left passing around the commons, eyeing the clock every now and again as he passed it. Eventually he decided enough was enough, it was time to check on his brother, what if he got hurt more? What if Tigerclaw got him? What if he officially quit unlike the 27 other times he has?

Anxiety tearing away at the eldest’s thoughts, till eventually it led him out the lair when he couldn’t just sit back and worry anymore. Running through sewers then moving his focus onto the city, jumping rooftop to rooftop, cold air burning his lungs but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. That was until he noticed a figure sitting in front of him, the door to the rooftop left dented and damaged from having been hit assumingly by his brother.

There was silence, but Raph made a motion to move a sai out of the spot next to him, showing the other he knew the other was there. Allowing him a chance to sit by him, not knowing what to expect out of this action. Though it is one that took Leonardo off guard, he expected to be sent away or need to plea his case as to why he should stay.

Leonardo joined Raph sitting at the ledge of the rooftop, as they both looked out into the dark city.The eldest would finally say, feeling a sinking pain in his chest at the reaction. "Yeah, and how's that working out for you?” Raph’s voice was harsher than he meant, the younger of the two soon moving to get up, however felt a hand on his shoulder keeping him from leaving.

Leo sputtered in protest. “What do you mean, ‘Working out for me? You’re my brother!” Leo sighed and let the fury leave his body. “Look, Raph you can’t keep putting yourself in danger like that. It-I-I can’t keep you safe if you just rush in like that. That’s all I want.”

“You are such an-” “Raphael.” “A hypocrite.” “What? Raph.” “Just listen, Fearless. It’s not your fudging job to protect me. I’m a big turtle and I don’t need you acting like my dad. I had one of them and that was enough for me. I need my brother. I need you to trust me. I ain’t gonna sugar-coat it, Princess. I did get hurt because of you.” Raphael peeled his gaze from the first crackles of dawn on the horizon and landed on his brother’s icy blue eyes filled with fear. Raph could assume he thought his fears were confirmed. He continued, in lieu of his brother’s painful expression and taut shoulders. “That was because you decided to fight me instead of working with me to take down Tiger-face. You decided being a hero and the sole fighter was more important and you didn’t trust me to help. I had already taken out all the stupid, mindless foot soldiers and I  came to help your dumb-” A loud blare of a car horn interrupted Raph and broke his flow. It shut off almost immediately and Raph let out a sigh. “Leo. Can you see what I’m trynna say? I-I don’t need you to bear the weight of everything and throw yourself into everything with the bare bones of a plan based on stupid emotions.” Raph could feel the little emotion he let surface start to make him cringe so he lightly punched Leo’s arm for good measure which caused a bubble of laughter. “Alright, alright.” Leo smiles softly and turns his gaze to the rising embers of the morning. “It's just that It has always been my job to look after you three. Splinter… being gone just made me realise I have no one else to help anymore but… you guys aren’t little kids anymore. I should trust you guys more, I just…”

Leo looked at his hands in his lap and fiddled them together, knowingly avoiding his brother’s frown. He couldn’t look at such a harsh gaze right now knowing he was not only the cause but why it was unwavering. He let the swirling storm of thoughts in his head condense further. He didn’t need to unload that mental baggage right now. Instead he’d do something productive for Raphael, and all his little brothers. It would just also benefit himself too.

“I’m going to try and trust you more. All of you. It won’t be easy but-” “If anyone can do it, it's you, Mr Practice-makes-perfect.” As Raphael spoke he hooked an elbow around his elder brother’s neck, dragged his ugly head down and noogied the scales light heartedly.

“Get off! Raph!” Raph softened at the giggles that bubbled up. Sounds unheard since long before their Sensei’s passing. Raph let his victim go and stood up. He offered a hand with a mirthful grin. “Let’s go home, Leo-nerd-o.” Leo wasn’t born yesterday and betted the hand that would inevitably lead to a headlock or sharp yank or worse and stood up. “Last one home has to get Donnie to eat a full meal!” Leo called a second after he had already started running and lept from the rooftop. Things weren’t perfect. But they would be okay. This was probably the first talk of many- with all of his brothers. Things would never be the same but that was alright. Leo had his brothers.

Maybe one day he wouldn’t put his own life worth under those he cared for but that wasn’t likely.

[error-pleaseleaveamessage-error]

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DOODLE... WHAT HAPPENED.

Anyways, this is a shoutout to the small TK community interested in Ninjago! I'm giving an @luv4lance to you because your headcanons were the final straw for me to sit down and draw some ninjas, I love your writing!

Closeups & dialogue under the cut:

Zane says, "Precious laughter, my friend." In an alternate drawing, I would also incorporate the tease, "I'm certain you sure do love to laugh Jay!"

Kai says, "What's wrong Jay? Does it TICKLE??" He's such an asshole. (/pos /lh) He digs in, he has experience in tickle fights. (Though, it's less of a tickle fight here and more of a slaughter.)

Cole says, "PFFFT! Did I just hear a SNORT?" Asshole Number 2. (/pos /lh) He'll keep Jay from kicking too much, wouldn't want anyone to get hurt. What a nice friend!

[bluedovee]

CONGRATS ON 100+ FOLLOWERS, @elizakai

I wanted to draw another one of these bc I feel like my art style is changing (also my signature is changing bc I'm experimenting in more than just my art)

Been a long time since I used watercolors but I think I still got it 😋

ORIGINAL RIGHT HERE ⤵️

[lunaetis]

i am the bone of my bat.

[caughtkuru]

oh trashcan man they’ll never get you the way i get you

[defiledtomb]

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RELAX!!!!

[fizzigigsimmer]

To B, With Love

Look at this hilarious meme that @percabeth-trashcan made after the last chapter.

Billy when he finally gets home:

This is so true. 🤣

In Steve's defense. He can explain everything.

[sodafrog13]

chapter 7 of under different circumstances out now!!

[haveihitanerve]

the most infuriating thing about being a writer (besides being a writer) is daydreaming a scene in your story/book/whatever the hell it is and being like 'yes this is beautiful okay perf' and actually getting the motivation to sit down and write it... only to realize it only works in movie format

[normal-thoughts-official]

@gaiuskamilah hi sorry can't send you asks so im tagging you here but like feel free to ignore me. anyway i saw ur post saying that if aerin was a woman you wouldn't shut up about her and now im mad because aerin would be so interesting as a woman

like. the massive rejection he feels in the palace never really made sense to me but if he were a woman? of course she'd always be in the shadow, of course she'd be rejected, of course she would never raise her voice at baldur because it's unbecoming and aggressive and of course everyone would take baldur's side. of course she'd be disgusted with him. of course she couldn't just poison him and call it a day, because despite his abuse towards her, it wouldn't just be about him. of course she'd rather destroy the whole world than just kill him because she's not only mad at baldur, she's mad at the whole world for always wanting her to be subservient and accept being degraded. of course it'd feel liberating to be "evil". and of course baldur would treat her this badly, because he's nothing if not a fucking misogynist. and of course her fake persona of choice would be so overly sweet and innocent, because that's what's expected, demanded of her as a girl

and then being ostracized and isolated (which really isn't all that different from before) and so fucking bitter after it all. craving to be seen and understood. "you'd still have me? even as i am?" idk. idk. i think there are many things that work well with aerin being a man but if he were a woman his story would gain such different, arguably bitter understones and now she's trying to move into my brain

[mysticdeath]

Shoot your shot with mister Elijah, miss Jenna! Life is meant to be lived!

an insistent drumbeat pounding against her ribs. a gothic symphony of romantic dread. elijah. it was a name that was a soft, dark whisper winding through her thoughts. a forbidden sonnet of old - world charm wrapped in ominous silk. could she? should she? her cheeks blazed in a feverish blush that would have done a victorian heroine proud, while her logical brain shrieked in horror at the very idea. "shoot my shot? with elijah? the man is practically a brooding novella brought to life. i'd need … insurance, and probably a youtube tutorial for how to not faint around men who look like they just stepped out of a renaissance painting."

| | | | 🩸 — ask about other muses, accepting.