#the tramp stamp is grand. love to see it

[a-teardrop-of-the-sun]

oh boy tumblr i can't believe i forgot to tell you that on sunday(!!) night at barely 8pm, i saw a middle-aged man

stop in the street in front of an innocent busker just trying to sing a mediocre job of acoustic pop,

fully take off his shirt, and so (in addition to a judicious sampling of his butt crack) reveal to the entire street,

his GIANT – i mean truly one foot high and the width of his whole back (to the point that my nearsighted ass could see the fine details from half a block away) – FUCKING TRAMP STAMP of the name

~SAOIRSE~

(^artist's recreation)

[major-toast]

West Coast

@rosekillermicrofic // August 9th - heart // words: 631 // cw: slightly suggestive content

„You’re sick?“

„Yeah?“

„Really?“

„Yeah!“

„Dorcas, do you need any more proof than… that? God, one more word out of Crouch’s mouth and not even hearing aids will compensate for the damage done to my ears.”

“Stop being dramatic, Regulus! I am sure this is nothing a bit of tea and honey won’t solve.”

“Oh, yes. Definitely.”

Regulus rolls his eyes wryly, ignoring Dorcas’ scolding glare. Barty wants to laugh, but – fuck – it hurts.

“In all honesty, I don’t think it will”, he croaks instead, coughing the moment the words leave his mouth.

Maybe he shouldn’t have partied outdoors until the brink of dawn… in the middle of December. But – ah well – mistakes are there to be made. At least, he got a sick new tramp stamp.

Dorcas groans.

“This is horrible! Absolutely fucking horrible! You knew how important this gig is! Why in God’s name would you get sick now?”

Barty shrugs. How is he supposed to know?

“I could do the vocals, no problem.”

All heads turn to Evan, who is sitting by his drums and lazily twirls one of the sticks in his right hand.

“What?”, he challenges, raising a brow. “I can sing.”

Dorcas slumps. With a sigh, she says, “Guess we don’t have a choice, do we? Crouch, do you feel well enough to shred your guitar?”

Barty nods.

What is one messed up gig, in the grand scheme of things?

Later that night, the hall is brimming with anticipation. No one has ever heard Evan sing before. Not even Pandora, she claims. Barty, however, isn’t fooled. He has seen her blink three times. Something she always does whenever she’s lying.

Usually, he’d pry it out of her somehow. But not tonight.

Tonight, he’ll be blown away.

Once the light dims, and they walk on stage to an already cheering crowd, Barty opens with a slow solo on his guitar. Immediately, hysteria washes over the audience; more than a few groupies crying and screaming in the front. Barty winks at them with a grin before stepping away from the microphone.

Tonight, someone else will be their darling.

Down on the West Coast, they got a sayin'. If you're not drinkin' then you're not playin'.

Barty falters, his heart missing a beat. Immediately, his eyes snap over to Evan.

Hitting the drums with not a care in the world, he’s closed his eyes. His blonde hair is swaying in sync with the beat of his drums, his voice a low murmur as he serenades the mic.

It’s soft, mellow; a warm cadence in a whirl of raspy notes and fastening beats. For a second, Barty believes to have entered heaven a bit too early.

Down on the West Coast, I get this feeling like it all could happen, that's why I'm leaving you for the moment.

Evan’s eyes find Barty’s. Briefly, his mouth curls into a satisfied smile. Then, his attention focuses back on the crowd before changing the vocals into a harsh growl.

Barty swallows. He doesn’t know whether his cock is hard or his knees are weak. Most likely, a bit of both. Louder than the drums, his heart thrashes in his ears.

“Are you going to play or just stand here?” Dorcas hisses as she slowly moves towards him, her hands easily tapping the strings of her bass.

Barty jolts, jumping back into action.

I can see my baby swinging, his Parliament′s on fire and his hands are up. On the balcony and I’m singing, “Ooh baby, ooh baby, I′m in love.”

Fuck.

Fuck.

Barty will never let him live this one down.

Yes, he thinks while he bangs his head to the melody, playing with the pacing of his riff. Angel, I think I’m in love.

He’s going to marry that bloke someday.

The song referenced in this post is mac glocky's cover of West Coast in the style of Deftones. This version can be found here. I highly recommend checking it out.

[neonlight2]

Little ‘Steddie x reader’ blurb

(I may write more for this later)

Y/n had a really rough day. Two guys came by the tattoo shop she works at and wouldn’t let her work on them— even though she was the only artist available because they didn’t think she’d be able to give them a ‘real’ tattoo. Then giving the impression that she probably only knew how to do tramp stamps or cutesy styled tats. Which in the grand scheme of things, she didn’t think were bad, because she in fact had given several trap stamps and butterflies, hearts— you name it. She’s done it. Her philosophy was that if you liked it, and the art made you feel something, get the piece. No, it was the fact they were belittling her talent.

Then, after that, they had the audacity to try and hit on her. Saying her tattoos, which could be seen easily due to the tank top she was wearing, were ‘rad’ and how’d they’d like to see the rest. Eventually, she lost her cool, yelling for her co working to swap clients and that they wouldn’t need to worry, they could have both payments. All she wanted to do was get the fuck away from them. But! Before her co worker (who she was obviously besties with) could go talk to the two guys, y/n whisper in their ear:

“Make sure to add a little lead to your hand this time.” Patting their shoulder before wandering to the patiently waiting client, who happened to be absolutely delightful.

And you would think all would be well from there on right? She pawned off those guys, indirectly got the satisfaction of revenge from hearing them hiss and cry like babies— leading to one of them quitting halfway through— and got a nice canvas to work on.

Yeah no.

After her shift at the shop was done, where she was berated by her coworker to take at least a third of the tips for her work, she went to the bar across the street. She was extremely happy to be done with work today. And while she loved her craft, it could be tiring at times. This was one of them. Now, all she wanted was for her friend— with benefits? Lover? Fuck buddy? Booty call?

No scratch the last one, that was too low of a title for Jade.

Jade and her met each other at that very bar. It was one night Eddie was playing with his band— which she had subbed in for his drummer. After they had finished and Eddie had gotten out of his “post-guitargasm” state, as she liked to put it, Y/n felt a tap on her shoulder. Oh and how wide Eddie’s eyes got, gesturing her to look behind and see whomever had come up behind her. Once Y/n got a glimpse of her there was no going back.

Next thing Y’know she’s got Jade pinned against the bathroom wall, letting out moans that she knew everyone outside could here (and don’t worry, Eddie’s band only plays at places that are super down low or accepting, so we don’t have to worry about any homophobic assholes harassing them).

Thus why Eddie calls her a exhibitionist and/or a narcissist.

Dead serious, he’ll randomly come around a corner and say:

“Hello my little exhibitionist.” “Good morning, narcissist, how may I inflate your ego today?”

And the worst one so far: “Don’t worry Harrington, I know how to cheer her up. *insert Eddie playfully moaning y/n’s name*”

Anyways— they had been hooking up for a few months at scheduled times, places, for their safety. I mean while the 80’s were becoming more progressive, no one would ever be fully open in Hawkins. Even if it’s a small, cute town— she wouldn’t put it past anyone for bigotry and violence towards queer people.

So there she waited for Jade at least an hour. She’d been stood up this time it seemed.

To say the least, when she got home to her roommates, both two out of her three best friends, she wasn’t particularly in the best mood.

Steve and Eddie could practically see the frustration radiating off her.

“What’s wrong babe?” Steve asked, being pushed (literally) by Eddie to approach you.

Huffing from her nose y/n replies shortly, “I hate people.”

“Alright…” Steve treads lightly, his soft tone trying to ease the tension in her body.

All while Eddie goes, “Fair enough.”

Taking a second to elbow Eddie in the chest, Steve turns his attention back to y/n. “Why do we hate them today hun?”

Scoffing, she walks about the house as she replies, stripping off her sweat ridden clothes is the only thing that falters her speech.

“We’ll firstly, men are disgusting.” Both boys nod, knowing they aren’t part of her categorization. “These two asshole come in and when I go up to help them— because everyone else was working— they refuse to let me work on them because apparently I can only draw ‘girly/basic shit’. As if their skull tattoo choice wasn’t the most basic, white boy, country club rebel thing ever.”

Eddie couldn’t help but snort at her description, hiding it in Steve’s shoulder.

“Oh and then, when I get to the bar to meet Jade,” y/n stops, looks at them as she struggles to get one of her combat boots off. Finally after a few second of wrestling with her foot, Steve steps forward, getting on his knees, and helps his aggrieved friend. All while Eddie helps keep her upright with a hand on her back and shoulder. When it’s off she says a quick thank you before rambling on again— shamelessly walking to the living room in only her underwear as Eddie and Steve follow her like lost puppies.

Steve’s mother instincts kicking in, picking up the clothes she’s shed along the way to put with the rest of the laundry. However, Eddie had only become more entertained and enthralled by the turn of events. And being the agent of chaos he is, he grabbed a bottle of Jack from the kitchen before missing anything else.

“…guess what?! She wasn’t there. I waited for an hour. AN HOUR!” Y/n shouted, pacing about the room.

“Yeah we were starting to worry why you hadn’t called or come home.” Eddie stated, multitasking with listening and pouring them all drinks.

Ignoring his comment completely she carried on. “I mean you would think someone would at least have the common decency to call! Y’know, when you have plans with someone, let alone someone you’ve known for a while—,”

“Been fucking for a while.” Eddie chimes in, handing her a drink, which she gladly takes.

“Exactly.” She said, throwing back the first drink.

“Yeah,” Steve walks into the room after putting all the laundry away (you best bet he heard all of that, because let’s face it y/n’s loud, and he has mom ears.) “And it’s not exactly like you guys can be reckless, or at least you don’t want to…”

“EXACTLY!” She screamed back. “I mean god! It was her idea to do this in the first place! And now I’m—,” y/n groans dramatically, dragging her hands down her face.

It’s quiet for a bit. The boys look at each other, telepathically figuring out what they want to do. Whether or not they should say anything, or do something.

Eddie took the bait this time.

“You’re what baby?”

Y/n stops to look dead at them. Almost as if she were debating whether or not to say it. But in the end she realized— she really couldn’t give a fuck. And neither would they.

“I’m horny.”

Steve’s eyes go wide, but not because he’s shocked by her words, but by the flush that spread across her face as she did. He’s never seen her like this before, and they’d all known each other since high school.

Eddie on the other hand seemed the least affect one here. In all honesty, he was the most composed out of all of them.

“I’m horny, and I’m mad, and that’s really not a good combo because 1. I don’t have anyone to hook up with, and 2. I have nothing to punch. I swear to god I’m getting a punching bag Steve,” she ranting, pointing to the corner. “I swear it’ll go right there, because I don’t know how much longer I can stay sane—,”

“Use us then.” Eddie interrupts, swallowing down the untouched drink he’d poured Steve.

“What?” Steve and y/n ask at the same time, looking at Eddie with confusion or shock.

He hums, almost spitting out the liquor from their faces. “Sorry, clarifications— not use us as punching bags please, and,” he placed his hand on Steve’s leg, “Sorry didn’t mean to offer you up like that Harrington.”

“I’m to fucking deranged right now to understand you Eddie.”

“Fine, I’ll put it plainly.” Eddie sets down the glass and sits back on the coach. “I, me, your best friend —,”

“Don’t be a dick Munson.” Steve remarked, what to hear his proposal himself.

“Well I’m trying to offer her mine to use as she pleases.” Eddie retorted back, a smirk on his face as he looks at Steve. That’s until his gaze shifts back to Y/n. “Or mouth if you’d prefer. I know you’re not the biggest fan of dicks, but I’m here for anything you need.”

“Me too.”

Y/n and Eddie glance at Steve in surprise— for totally different reasons.

“What—? I mean why the fu—?”

“We’re your best friends princess.” Eddie says, tilting his head at her confusion. “We’d help you with anything, just like you do us.”

[softsmolbirb]

disney descendants - but add TATTOOS

the Docks house the majority of the tattoo trade on the Isle, so the Sea Three grow up treating tattoos more casually while they've got more of a rebellious vibe for VKs living inland, like the Core Four.

to the VKs on the docks, tattoos most often serve as a show of ownership or as self expression.

for the Core Four and AKs, I imagine it's more common to see tattoos as individual pieces of art.

there's a lot of blurring that line, but seeing tattoos as self expression vs art can carry a lot into both how a person perceives tattoos in general and how they tend to design and place their tattoos.

Jay shows up at the Dragon's Den one day with a large, traditional, fully shaded, badass cobra curling around his bicep.

Evie and Carlos are fascinated but also a bit uncomfortable.

Mal immediately feels challenged, artistically, and starts designing a badass dragon design that she wants to get on her back someday.

Evie and Carlos don't get tattoos until years later, when they're in Auradon and comfortable in their own skin and are able to go to a nice, clean, entirely above-the-board tattoo studio.

Evie gets a little crown on her ankle.

Carlos ends up getting a number of random, small designs over time. Jane's name, a silhouette of Dude, the date that he last saw his mother (the date from when he's been free).

Evie gets a second tattoo eventually, on a dare, and gets a small ruler design on her wrist that's perfect for helping measure hems and edges for her projects.

Mal waits until getting settled in Auradon, too - first because she doesn't trust the skill of the tattoo artists on the Isle to do it "right," and then because she doesn't think her tattoo would be viewed as appropriate for the future Queen of Auradon.

once everything has settled out post-D3, though, and she's confident in her skin she brings it up with Ben (because having the Sea Three around is making her remember how much she really wants to get a tattoo, not that she'd ever admit to that).

Ben totally supports her and she gets a fantastical dragon across her back, painstakingly done by one of the finest artisans in Auradon.

Harry started tattooing himself when he was a kid, messing around with stick-and-poke techniques he saw the older kids using.

they didn't have great ink and stick-and-pokes usually fade pretty fast anyway, even faster when you're constantly in the sun, so he had a lot of fun with the canvas of his hands, arms, and thighs and did a lot of experimentation.

once he and Gil got closer, Harry did a lot of small designs on Gil when he was bored.

Uma got the first real tattoo of all of them.

she showed up at one of the tattoo shops dragging a bag full of tips and left several sessions later with a full sleeve of ocean waves crashing against a ship that was surrounded by tentacles.

she was pleased by how the artist had gotten it to look like the tentacles could either be pulling the ship to its doom or just giving it a hug.

Harry absolutely loved it and began going to get himself a new tattoo every time he scraped together enough tips and stolen coins.

a compass on the back of his hand; a dagger down his thigh; constellations dotting his arms; a menagerie growing one by one of seahorses and sharks and gulls.

he gets a traditional pinup on his hip; a grand, proper pirate's ship on one knee and a kraken mirroring its style on the other; he has multiplication tables and other memorization tricks done on the inside of his wrists to help him on tests.

months after his first (and only) hesitant, respectful request, Uma lets him get her name tattooed as a tramp stamp.

she goes with him and directs the artist and he ends up with her name surrounded by tentacles; they're strategically positioned to curl around the letters but also draw the eye to where they disappear beneath his waistband.

Uma didn't get tattoos as often but they were always grand and befitting her rank as Captain.

she adhered religiously to her colors and aesthetic, creating a map of black, turquoise, cyan, and purple whirls and lines that made her look ever inch the magical being she should be.

Uma complemented the heavy linework with little skulls and bones, sea creatures, and rolling waves.

I've seen some people say that "Wharf Rats" is just an insult Carlos called the crew, but I like the headcanon that it's the actual name of Uma's crew and that everyone who joined up was required to get a tattoo as a promise of loyalty.

Harry totally designed it himself.

Uma and Harry have the largest versions of it, so they added some extra detail and flare to theirs. Uma's on her chest and Harry's across his upper back.

most of the crew have theirs on a bicep but Gil got his on the back of his neck.

Gil didn't get any ink until he came back to the Docks and joined the crew.

once he was back, though, he tagged along and got something done every time Uma or Harry went.

he liked to get Harry to help him come up with ideas for designs that would draw attention to his arms and muscles.

Gil got lots of flowers and plants and birds on his arms, eventually tying the designs together into full sleeves.

Uma and Harry would roll their eyes but loved how badass Gil could manage to make a bunch of flowers.

colored tattoos were far less common than black linework and shading because it was much harder to come by substantial quantities of colorful ink on the Isle.

having his flowers colored made Gil's sleeves pop out and draw attention even more.

he got roaring waves and sharks and sea monsters on his back, pulling up into his Wharf Rats tattoo, with everything perfectly designed to flatter the flex of his shoulders and back.

on his trip around Auradon with Jay, Gil had a lot of fun getting a new tattoo in each kingdom, coloring in his chest with new kinds of flowers and filling up his legs with a variety of designs that reminded him of his favorite stops.

once she escaped the barrier and was restored access to her magic and heritage, Uma learned that her she could make her tattoos glow and reflect her natural magic.

she waited a long time for the day when she, Harry, and Gil were all free from the Isle and she was able to casually take her shirt off and enjoy Harry tripping on his feet and falling on his face at how extra stunning her tattoos were now.

Harry took advantage of the better resources for tattoos in Auradon and had his tattoos relined, as a lot of them were beginning to fade.

he had red lines and shading worked into the designs to give them an extra bit of pop, cohesiveness, and general Hook aesthetic.

for AKs, the most common tattoos were small and easy to hide, like significant others' names, important dates, and little minimalist designs.

Harry won a dare once and coerced Jay and several of Jay's tourney friends into going and getting larger, more artistic designs, though.

to Harry's surprise (and Uma and Gil's delight), some of Harry's first AK friends ended up being heirs from kingdoms like Matinui and DunBroch, with whom he bonded over tattoos after they approached him with admiration for his ink and for his opinions on design.

kingdom pride and fairytale tattoos are definitely a thing. an artist would have a lookbook with glass slippers and well known castles and glass covered roses.

just. TATTOOS guys.

[mammonshuman92]

Hi! Can I get brothers hcs reacting to MC having tattoos

 @assasinofkda Thank you for the ask!!​ I’m so sorry it took so long for me to do this, Life, ya know? lol It kinda turned into more than just their opinions? my bad lol Hope you enjoy!! But I’m sorry if it’s shit lmao

Warnings: implied seggs, being thirsty, swearing

Lucifer

I think he would be the most uptight about it, tbh.

Kinda a “dad” about it

“ThAt’Ll Be StUcK wItH yOu FoReVeR.”

However, I don’t think he’d judge you, or think less of you in any way. It’s your life.

He’d be more in favor of small, easily hidden tattoos, or those that have special meaning

If it’s a “cum slut” tramp stamp, you’ll definitely get a lecture after he tests that statement

I couldn’t see him ever getting one himself unless it was Luci + Dia <3

Would probably try to encourage you to not get anymore, and scowl when you inevitably do lol

Mammon

Like, he’s already putty in your hands, but when he found out about the tattoos?

Aroused “That’s cool, I guess.”

tsundere as always lol

He’d get over it quickly tho and kinda fan girl a little

His human is so badass. 

So cool. 

So sexy

Tries to convince you to get a “The Great Mammon’s Human” tattoo

shut that shit down lmaoooo

he thought he could be slick and take you on a date to get tattoos together

you picked one out for each other, the design a surprise until it was finished

he chose a chunky chibi crow with a single Grimm in it’s beak, and veeeery familiar sunglasses.

you picked “tsundere” in elegant cursive

still hasn’t fully forgiven you yes he has

Levi

Calls you a normie

But lasts .5689 seconds before gushing about how cool it is that you have tattoos and how pretty they are

16842% will explode if any of them are anime, manga or game related.

He’d for sure get a Ruri-chan half/full sleeve. I will not take criticism on this.

Being The Grand Admiral of Hell’s Navy, you assumed he had to at least have one, right?

Nope.

Snek bby doesn’t do people, or crowds. So sitting in a chair for hours on end with someone in close proximity, trying to make small talk and such seemed like he would rather be Cerberus’ chew toy.

However, if you were to suggest going with him, he wouldn’t think twice about it.

He almost passed out twice lmaooooo

You got Henry and he got The Lord of Shadow

<3

Satan

Absolutely has at least one cat tattoo. No arguments!

Would be impressed if you also had a cat tattoo, or maybe some meaningful book quotes

whatever you have, he will think it’s beautiful

loves the idea of being able to decorate one’s skin with whatever they want, to be whoever they want

because of the whole “my brother rage birthed me” thing

absentmindedly traces the outline of it while he’s reading or when you’re laying together

you get tattoos together

beauty and the beast themed

sadkjfbhalsrhf

Asmo

The one who talked you into getting “cum slut” LMAOOOO

also tests the accuracy of said statement

Doesn’t mind tattoos at all

He has a few himself

None that can be seen in public, but deff a hip tat or lower back

nothing too big or flashy for him, just small and dainty pieces

helps you make sure they stay moisturized

the two of you may or may not have wound up at the tattoo shop after the club one friday night

no one except him will ever see it though

seeing as he’s the only one who sees your-

Beel

This bby

12/10 best boi

Always down for you no matter what

He has a tribal tattoo on his bicep, so he definitely is very interested when he learns you also have tattoos

Thinks they’re beautiful

WIll go with you to appointments for sure

Would even get one with you

You got little matching tattoos of a cheeseburger

Whatever you choose to do with your body, he will support you 100%

and eat anyone who says otherwise

Belphie

Honestly

I can’t really see him really giving a shit either way

If you have them cool

If not, also cool

Won’t judge you either way

Will gladly listen to how and why you got them

Or go with you to an appointment

** BONUS **

Diavolo

Fascinated

Bby boy is so sheltered and never really around anyone excpet the same demons he’s been around for centuries

So when he found out you had tattoos he was intrigued

would sit and listen, with big shiny puppy eyes as you told him the stories of getting said tattoos and their meanings/what they mean to you

Would suggest getting matching tattoos

Barbatos tried to reel him, advising him that something as such could have a negative effect on how his subjects and other Nobles view him.

Dia didn’t hear a word lmaoooo

All he could think about was sharing something like this with you.

You both got tiny crowns

<3

Barb was P I S S E D

straight up gave him a Luci style lecture lmfao

Barbatos

Doesn’t mind

thinks you’re lovely no matter what you do

his background in-game is still pretty mysterious but I hc that he has like one

probably tribal, kinda big, going from his bicep, across his shoulder and stopping along his spine

lord have mercy

something about him going on about his duties as a butler when there’s serious ink underneath that long sleeve button up? So proper, yet bad?

;sdhgkvjhiu

hold on

*thirsty ass creeper breathing*

we now return to your originally scheduled programming :)

I feel like he got it back in the day

like a young and dumb kinda thing, maybe even rebelling a little

hasn’t gotten anymore, and doesn’t have a desire to

doesn’t mind if you do

will go with you, or help you take care of the healing process

Solomon

I hc that nearly everything under his clothes is covered in tattoos, or what would be the pact marks of his demons, and some from sorcery shiz.

so he’s 100% cool with you being tattooed

would be down to get one with you

easily talked you into getting the Prince Lucifer and Princess Diavolo chat stickers

;ouishdfkj;ns

lmaooo

he so would

lucifer was so pissed and Diavolo was overjoyed and couldn’t stop laughing

Simeon

Angel in every sense of the word

loves you no matter what

he cant have any

body is a temple and all that

but he does love them

thinks they're beautiful

Would probably prefer quotes from literature, or those with special meaning.

flower tattoos too

Also a fan of little whimsical tattoos.

A zipper tattooed on a scar from an old surgery?

Hilarious!

although he can’t get one, you got a little halo tattoo

he teared up a little at the gesture

Luke

I was wrong

Luke is definitely more uptight about it than Lucifer loool

Gasps when he first sees it/them

“MC! What is that?!” He shrieks

“A tattoo?” 

Luke.holybrain.exe has stopped working

Probably lectures you worse than Luci

May or may not hit you with a Bible

[trickstermelon]

HC That Marco is SUPER TATTED UP/body modded, he’s been a pirate nearly all his life and also he has an affectation for DECORATION! Notes on the modifications under the cut~ ** I totally forgot to draw them but he 100% has nails that look like talons, and may actually be painted talons 

Head: So many piercings, ears n eyebrow that he switches around often. Pineapple pattern undercut OR... skull tattoo. Loves makeup, often has Izou do it for him when they have the time. (Which is rare, so it’s nice bonding time) Chest: WBP symbol ofc, and a belly button piercing. Usually can’t see it with his sash.   Back: Flaming wing pattern design that blends very neatly with his half-form transformation. North star design at the nape of his neck Pineapple tramp stamp with swirly decorations.  Left arm: Credit to Lilfishsong on twitter for the insp of his left arm tat!! See it in more detail there. (Includes the moon and stars, the Moby dick, an anchor and blue flames) Right arm: On the palm side he has a very vintage heart + arrow + scroll that you see on tough guys in cartoons but instead of Mom it says Pops cause he’s a daddy’s boy. Above that is an intricate compass rose, with a little map of the globe. On his shoulder is a Sun Pirate mark-- gotten in solidarity after WB declared Fishmen Island + all fishman/merfolk were under his protection + He and Jinbe bonded. I HC that Marco was briefly a slave to a CD as a young child because of his mythical zoan before WB got him out and razed the place to the ground, so the symbol has a double meaning of solidarity n experience. He also has a stylized RA tat framing the Sun Pirate symbol for a similar show of alliance n membership. WB was absolutely allied with the RA and sneaks them around the grand line.  On the back of his arm its a little more light hearted-- he has a little symbol for each of the commanders/OG crew, including Oden, Whitey Bay and Ace. The biggest one is a stylized WB skull on his hand. The other commanders got to pick their icon, some are serious some are very silly. (Jozu has brass knuckles over a diamond, Thatch has crossed swords over a cinnamon roll, Izou has a floral fan with bullets, Haruta has a frog with a little crown, etc. Ace got a simplified version of his Spade jolly roger) Right leg: Is it narcissistic to get a portrait of ur bird form with arrows, wrapped around an infinity symbol on your thigh??? Maybe so... maybe so... He also has a cute little cartoon tat of Nekomamushi on his ankle because they are BFFs and penpals. Neko has one of his bird form.. somewhere Left leg: A big ol bundle of hibiscus and others of his fave flowers, wrapped in blooming tree branches. Under it is a nest full of golden eggs + jewels/treasure + his fave fruits.  Note: He leaves leaves his claves mostly unmarked so anyone who just wants to try their hand at tatting him can. He’ll usually keep it for a year or so unless he HATES it coughs he ripped the one of a pie Teach gave him out of his skin the day after the betrayal so its become a bit of a challenge to see how much nonsense he’ll tolerate on his body. (the answer is A Lot)

[itsshellybitch]

Milestones

I have been working on this one for a long time. Sorry for the delay. It’s probably my favorite thing that I’ve written thus far. It’s based on a headcanon that I hold near and dear.

This is another post-canon one. Shelly is a senior in high school.

**********

“Is she going to sleep all day? I don’t know how much longer I can wait!”

“She didn’t get in until late last night, Randy.”

“I can’t take it anymore! I’m just going to take a quick peek!”

“No, Randy. Shelly will show it to us on her own terms.”

Sharon would have been lying if she had denied that she was just as curious as Randy was. She herself contemplated peeking, but Shelly was officially a legal adult now. She deserved her privacy.

Shelly had announced her intention to treat herself to her first tattoo for her eighteenth birthday. Frankly, Sharon was surprised that she had waited this long. She was ninety nine percent certain that her daughter possessed a fake ID. That would explain how she ended up with her navel ring. And her nose stud. And her eyebrow piercing. Shelly not getting inked earlier didn’t make a lick of sense in the grand scheme of things, but then again, she was always an enigma who marched to her own beat.

“She’s going to get one of those Mike Tyson face tattoos!” Randy had ranted to his wife. “Everybody’s going to think that she’s crazy and they’re going to think that we’re bad parents!”

Sharon had brushed off Randy’s usual hysterics as ridiculous, but she too privately worried about what her daughter was going to permanently etch onto her body.

Shelly had blossomed into a beautiful young lady over the years and she had left a long string of boyfriends in her wake. She was currently going strong with some guy named Jeremy (or was it Jared?), but knowing Shelly’s track record, he could be discarded by tomorrow.  Sharon didn’t want her to come home with a tramp stamp of some boy’s name.

Randy and Sharon were finishing up lunch when Shelly finally stumbled into the kitchen. She sleepily poured herself a cup of coffee.

“Oh, thank God!” Randy exclaimed upon seeing his daughter’s tattoo-free face. “You didn’t get a tattoo after all!”

Shelly shot her father a confused look. “No, I got the tattoo.”

“Can we see it?” Sharon asked. She prayed to every deity that she could think of that the tattoo wasn’t in an “indecent” area.

Shelly rolled her eyes and pushed up her sleeve.

A simple daisy was inked on her inner wrist.

“Is - is that it?” Randy wondered.

“Yes, Dad!” Shelly growled.

“I like it!” Sharon was both sincere and pleasantly surprised. “It’s very tasteful.”

Shelly gulped down the rest of her coffee. “I need to get ready. I told my manager that I would come into work today.” She went back upstairs, leaving her mystified parents behind.

**********

Shelly pulled a small pink leather bound diary out from under her mattress. She opened it to find a brown and crumbling daisy pressed between the pages.

Shelly had dated a lot of guys over the past few years. They made her feel pretty. They made her feel desirable.

But only one had made her feel loved.

Shelly’s relationship with Larry Feegan was among her shortest-lived (which said a lot, considering her track record), but it was far and away the most impactful and most memorable. She never wanted to forget him.

Shelly ran a finger over her new tattoo and looked at the daisy pressed between her old eighth grade diary. It would one day crumble away to nothing. There would be more boys and more men and perhaps even somebody that she would eventually settle down with for good.

But at least she could carry a small reminder of Larry everywhere she went for the rest of her life.

[vreugd-madelon]

The Savior’s Sister Review

The Savior’s Sister by Jenna Moreci is a 560 page Adult Dark Fantasy book. The second in The Savior’s Series. The first is The Savior’s Champion, which I reviewed as well, click here. I had a lot of trouble getting the book to my home. The original pre-order was cancelled by a dutch retailer, because they couldn’t deliver and thus I got this copy from Amazon.nl. It was eventually delivered 4 days before it was supposed to, making me very happy.

I’ve been very excited for this book, and have been really hyping it up for myself. Since it’s a companion novel it follows the same time frame as the Savior’s Champion, which you should really read before starting this one.

Warning: this book contains graphic violence, sexual situation, physical abuse, adult language and referenced to suicide.

Leila Tus Salvatíraas is the Savior of Thessen and worshiped my all. When she come of age the Sovereign’s Tournament is called into existence for Her to marry a man, but the focus shifts from marriage to murder and the current Sovereign and Leila’s father, Brontes, is plotting her assassination. Is she able to thwart his plan with the help of Her sisters and some unexpected allies?

I rate this book 4/5 stars, because while I did like the book near the end, there are some issues I take with it.

There is a certain weight to the hardcover, which I really like. It makes the book feel grand, hefty and luxurious. I’m scared to actually begin reading the book. I’m scared that it won’t live up to the standard of TSC or that I’ve hyped it up too much for myself. But there is no time like the present, so here we go:

I’m enjoying my time with TSS, but as I’m currently halfway through I’m missing that certain oomph that TCS had. The new pieces of content that we see are very interesting and it’s nice to see what Leila was up to, while Tobias was underground in the labyrinth. The moments they share are obviously the same, because we saw them from Tobias’ POV, but they feel very stale. Some moments feel like they’re only put into this book because Leila and Tobias share the room, but they don’t interact with each other, because Tobias is brooding or whatever. These moments are cut short by Leila just leaving. Example: the feast before the other Royals arrive. Even if she struggled with her own thoughts about being found out that she switched with Cosima, and have her ruminate those thoughts into circles, it would’ve been better. It would make the reader worry with her, for her. It would raise the tension.

Leila is a very upfront and tough lady, not scared to give someone a piece of her mind, which I really like. The moments Leila is actively fighting against her own assassination are very well done. the energy and grit are there. While not as bloody as the labyrinth in TSC, there is still a great deal of graphic violence. The love she feels towards Tobias is also very convincing near the end of the book. Especially when the colors he emits are described as a prism, all of them shown at once, and he feels them for her.

Asher is put into the position of her own personal bodyguard by the Sovereign Brontes. Asher’s refusal to call Leila by her name instead of ‘Her Holiness’ really bothered me, especially after Leila had expressed her preference early on. She has to yell at him, to make the change happen. In my opinion it would’ve been better is he suddenly called her by her name, showing the reader that he listens rather than to tells us. I’m sad that he played such a little role in this book. It would’ve been really fun to see Leila expand her own network through him, and it would’ve been interesting to see how Brontes and her would pick at each other’s network to unravel them. Asher could’ve been a double agent, or a triple.

Hylas is my favorite side character of this story and I’m happy to see that he survived. I just hope that he’ll make it through the 3rd book. He’s my little baby boy and I cherish him deeply.

The end of chapter 16 is one I really liked. I never knew who learned of her true title, and even in this review I won’t spoil who I’m talking about, but I actually shed a tear at the reveal even though he became a pain in the ass. Chapter 29 is my absolute favorite of them all. It has another great side character in it, Talos. It killed a man I absolutely despise, and it gave me a giant shock at the end. It’s too bad that we never see a long lasting effect from that revelation in Leila. The beginning of the next chapter she’s sad because Tobias had yelled at her. It makes it seem that she had no care in the world about the revelation and it’s just unfortunate.

The last point I want to make it about the layout of the book. The lengths of the chapters are fine, not too long or too short. But it’s the chapter header I take issue with. Below I’ve put a picture of the prologue chapter and it doesn’t change throughout the book. If you see anything else than a tramp-stamp tattoo please tell me! In a way it can be seen as an elegant design, but I’ve seen too many tattoo shows and shops.

If you have any questions, send me and ask here on tumblr or tweet me. If there are any books you want to recommend, be sure to let me know!

[beauty-at-matrix]

9, 11, 14, 16? :)

9. favorite brand of clothing? - I don't really buy “brand” clothes, since I barely can afford that. I usually shop at Orsay  and Zara when I need something elegant and work appropriate, or H&M and C&A when I just want something casual. And when I feel extra fancy, I wear Scarlette Kara, my friend who is a designer and does stage clothes for bands and musicians, for example Ensiferum, Stratovarius or Alexi Laiho.

11. what unusual talent do you have? - Can't think of anything. People usually freak out when I show them I can touch the tip of my nose with tongue, so there's that :D 

14. what’s your coffee order? - My usual is Grande Caramel Latte with lactose free milk during the year, lactose free Caramel Frappuccino with no cream in summer, Pumpkin Spice Latte in autumn, Toffeenut Latte during Christmas time. In USA I've discovered Peppermint Mocha and since the baristas here have no idea what am I talking about, I came up with regular mocha plus pumps of peppermint syrup (depending on the size it's either 2 or 3). Did I mention I only go to Starbucks? In my defense, we have Starbucks right by the Prague Castle and with my employee card I get 25% discount. Most of the baristas know me by name and sometimes, when I go to pick up larger order for the whole department, I don't get the 25% off but one venti drink for free. Once I went there for lunch since there weren't any veggie options in the Castle, and they let me pay only the sandwich and gave me my usual Caramel Latte for free. I didn't even ask for it but they had it ready before I even reached the counter <3 I miss my coffee so much I even drink my homemade Nespresso from a Starbucks tumbler. Got that for my bday but that was already after all the shops closed lol.

16. if you had to get a tattoo right now, what would you get and where? - Oh so many! I want Lewis Hamilton signature on the top of my foot, signature I got from him when I met him. Then I wanted a LotR themed underbust, with the tree of Gondor etc., I also want a bigger piece on my thigh, if you google “Rammstein Amour shirt” it's basically that skull-ish thing. Love that. Then I was thinking on my other foot The Beast from OTGW. And I wanted something else to remember my favourite band (Children of Bodom) than what I already have, so something CoB themed. And the Pisces constellation behind my ear. Also I really wanted the sign from LotR and the Hobbit - No Admittance except party business on my lower back like a tramp stamp. You see, this is why it's better my tattoo artist is in Italy.

[kyliexc]

AYOOOOOO, it me, mini from the blockkk ~ and im here to give you a very bratty kid. she’s rude, unfiltered, ride or die and a hell of a fighter. truly, i hate her but i hope you enjoy her and i wanna plot with everyone new and old pls. 

chicago’s very own kylie castillo has been spotted on madison avenue driving a bentley continental gt, welcome ! your resemblance to becky g is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty first birthday bash  . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re hot tempered , but being brave might help you . i think being an aries explains that .  3 things that would paint  a  better picture of you would be a bottle of patron, messy makeup brushes and a joint. & ( female + she/her  ) +  ( mini , 23, she/her , est )

We got a pinterest board right here ! Besides that, give this a like and i’ll mssge u! 

Basic Information

Full Name: kylie valentina castillo

Nickname(s): ky, kyky, k, kybby

Age: 21

Height: 5 ft

Date of Birth: April 15th 1998

Zodiac sign: aries

Hogwarts house: slythindor (slytherin + gryffindor)

Ethnicity: mexican

Nationality: american

Gender: cis female

Pronouns: she/her

Orientation: bisexual

Religion: agnostic-catholic

Tattoos: a peach on her ass, #2 tramp stamp and canon becky g tattoos

Language(s) Spoken: english + spanish

Accent: american with a hint of spanish

Favourites

Weather: fall

Colour: yellow or pink

Music: sebastian yatra, reik, travis scott,

Movies: halloween or selena

Sport: soccer, basketball, hockey, volleyball

Beverage: tequila

Food: chicken or carne asada tacos 

Animal: lions + dogs

Family

Father: alejandro castillo, soccer player (jersey #7)

Mother: lupe castillo (molina), seamstress/designer

Sibling(s): ricky castillo

Step Siblings: jesse james altera, elissa altera

Pet(s): sushi and lola (dogs)

BIOGRAPHY

FAMILY HISTORY

kylie castillo is 2nd generation American, meaning that both pair of her grandparents immigrated to the United States a looong time ago from Mexico, and both her parents grew up in the USA. 

Her dad, alejandro castillo grew up in Los Angelos, California working to be a big time soccer player, and he got scouted but he ended up playing for MEXICO, and when he wasn’t playing for the official team, he played for Barcelona FC. So her dad made a name for himself in soccer. 

Her mom, lupe castillo molina grew up in Chicago, Illinois. She went to school and started up her own fashion brand, it was small and slowly growing as she was working as a seamstress for different companies all over Chicago. It took awhile to take off, but it did, and she had a shop in Spain bc she was illegal in the US and it was easier to stay in Spain and gain citizenship. ANYWAY, her shop blew up in Europe before getting big in the US. 

Both met in Barcelona where lupe was just a fan. it suddenly became more after they got pregnant, and after they married with their first child they decided to settle in Chicago. 

They were together until Kylie was 12 years old and her mom started seeing angelo altera, eventually marrying him for a few years. This means that she’s step siblings with lennon james and elissa altera! 

That marriage didn’t last that long, so right now both her parents are single, separated and living in different households that share the same customs. EXCEPT, kylie’s mom and dad seem to be sorta reconciling~

lupe castillo currently lives in New York for her step kids and kids while alejandro castillo still resides in Chicago, and sometimes Los Angelos. 

WHO IS KYLIE CASTILLO?

kylie was born in Chicago and she had a pretty normal childhood. she grew up in a house with her parents, siblings and grandparents under one household, growing up with hispanic traditions. She grew up speaking latin american spanish meaning she’s bilingual and is 100% PROUD of her ethnicity even though she has been told the typical slurs from ignorant people, but you know, it happens. it’s really only made her stronger as a person.

kylie has always been the closest to her dad and he implemented not just in kylie but in all of his kids that if you work hard you can achieve anything. to not let anyone tell you that you can’t do things. this was especially true with sports. ofc having a soccer player for a dad, kylie was automatically interested in soccer, all of her siblings were and are. they were known as the sports family on the block.

while her dad taught her sports and to toughen up in any situation, by no means does this mean she was a tomboy. she can play a game of soccer in 6 inch heels. if you don’t think so, she’ll prove it to you! So while her soccer interest grew, her mom would introduce kylie to clothes, makeup, cooking. all of that stuff so kylie always knew to be presentable. ‘let them judge you by what you wear so you can prove them wrong with who you are.’ is one of a thousand quotes her mom would tell her about life.

even if kylie grew up comfortable and in a good position, her parents instilled the value that you gotta work hard to get what you want. if you don’t implement blood, sweat and tears, you haven’t earned it. So if you know kylie, she’s a partier mixed with a workaholic sometimes mixed with a UFC Fighter dEKJGDKJFSGH

When her parents broke up, she went on a rebellious streak, more of a streak than the one she’s always on. she had family that weren’t the safest but for kylie it was safe. so she got involved with some shady characters, and she’s done some stufffffffffff. hmu if you wanna know more. FKJGHDFKHGJ that went on for awhile, she was wildin and she settled into her new home with her step siblings and step dad. 

Kylie is still very much closer to her dad than her mom but she loves them both, bouncing between houses and states (since her mom lives in NYC now) to hang out with each of them often. 

In a grand total, she’s a problem child that just likes to have fun. 

CAREER

There was at one point where she wanted to be a soccer player like her dad but for a women’s team. although there were times growing up where she would definitely show guys she could kick their asses in the sport. she still can! 

When her dad found out what she wanted, he made sure and he worked with her everyday to make her a better player, EXCEPT, kylie overworks herself, A LOT, even when her dad didn’t schedule practices. it didn’t work out for her in the end because during a game she really messed up her knee where she had to give up the sport.

She was DEVASTATED, and she moped for about a day before she found something else, which was makeup. She actually rlly slowly got into it, watching tutorials, practicing on her lita’s, siblings, tia’s, mom, etc. By networking through her mom’s connections, she landed a couple of gigs to do makeup for a couple of backstage things and movie productions. she was getting around to a lot of stuff.

For awhile she was an MUA, and works with a lot of different people. she doesn’t care who you are as long as you’re chill, but then she wanted to try something different and went into music. She is step siblings to lennon james, and there is a lot of musical influence in her life, so of course she was going to dip into that. 

Her style of music is primarily in spanish, targeting that market and since it’s being big in the US, she’s definitely one of the prominent artists since she’s one of the few born in America that makes this type of music. So currently she’s working out stuff with music, working on collaborations, and then doing things in other fields.

Kylie doesn’t believe in limiting herself, if she wants to do something, she’ll do it. She also very much loves to work with charities and going to marches for things she believes in, using her platform for things like that ... even if she isn’t the best person to look up to. 

PERSONALITY

kylie is literally F I E R C E. she’s got two types of personalities, one where she’s a home body and loves her family, will beat you in a quick game of soccer. she’s that bubbly girl with the laughter, sarcastic remarks followed by a smirk at the end of it

BUT

she is also that girl that when it’s time to work, she is scary. she knows what she wants, she knows how she wants it and she will get flustered when it’s not like that. she’s got a whole ‘that BIIITCH’ personality, like when she’s on the red carpet, she just has it going for her kind of thing.

but she’s a goof, and that’s something everyone will notice. she loves to make people laugh and smile. 

if you’re an asshole, those are her favorite types where she’s just drawn to those people. she really does love a challenge. 

A big thing for her is she is really hot tempered. talk shit get hit, is kinda her thing. if you wanna start an argument, don’t expect to come out of it without a scratch on you when you’re with kylie. she just has that mentality that if you don’t wanna talk it out she already has her hands up to start swinging. 

If you’re close to her, she will ADORE YOU. This girl is ride or die for anyone she loves, she doesn’t care what you did, or how other people perceive you. if you’re close with kylie, that’s all she cares about. she’s too loyal.

connections?

old school friends

old school enemies

makeup clientele

squad?

ride or die

drunk friends

sibling like friends

exes ( good + bad + messy + angsty )

crushes ?

former lovers to friends

um, anything? let’s brainstorm ! :)

[purplesurveys]

878

Can you lift more than 100lbs? I can’t even lift 100 lbs flat. The most I’ve been able to deadlift was I think 80 or 90 lbs, but I already count that as an achievement since I weigh around that much anyway. What's your opinion on incest? Big yikes. Some memes can be hilarious but when you think about how incest will sometimes come from a place of sexual abuse within the family, it stops being funny so I’d rather take it seriously like 98% of the time. Do you have a favorite color for cats? Mmm I think orange is really cute. The few cats that have been nice to me are usually the orange ones. What was your latest email about? It’s an email from a transcribing website inviting me to their Slack. Since I can’t get a legit job for now, Gab let me know about these websites that’ll let you do some transcribing and pay you a few cents (around ₱15-20) for each of them. One of the sites I joined, whose test I passed, invited me to their Slack earlier today so I can be a part of the team. I’m still feeling too anxious to join the group so I haven’t addressed it for now, but maybe by tonight or tomorrow. What video games did you play when you were younger? Our parents weren’t too strict when it came to video game supervision so we were already playing Grand Theft Auto, Silent Hil, Resident Evil, etc. as kids. Those games eventually ended up being my favorites. I liked other less-violent games too, like games from the Burnout franchise, The Simpsons: Hit and Run and that one Spongebob video game based on the first Spongebob movie hehe.

Would you ever get a tramp stamp? That’s not really a place where I’d like to get a tattoo. I want it to be somewhere I can constantly see, like my fingers or wrist. Do you like Lady Gaga? Yeah. It has a sentimental point to it too because she’s essentially a part of the root of mine and Gabie’s friendship. When we first met I was heavily into Beyoncé and she, into Gaga. Telephone was still a super popular song then and people were really into the Bey-Gaga duo, so it was the perfect recipe for a friendship to form. We make it a point to like each other’s bias so she’s caught up with Beyoncé’s new material and I also always support Gaga’s. What's your favorite commercial? I love the sports car ad of Fita and the ‘First Love’ McDonald’s ad. Jollibee’s Valentine’s Day ads have also been pretty gut-wrenching in the last few years. Did you cry when Michael Jackson died? I didn’t, but by then I already knew how big of a star he was because of how much Beyoncé hyped him up before he passed lol. It was also easy to understand that it was a big deal because the news covered his death and funeral for hourssss during that week. What does the last notification you received say? “home” Gab drove out to run some errands and I asked her to let me know when she gets home, because the weather isn’t looking good. What's the ugliest species of animal? Cockroaches. Are you embarrassed about any songs on your iPod? I wasn’t embarrassed over the punk bands I listened to but I knew my classmates weren’t going to understand my taste and possibly ostracize me even more than I already was, so I kept my punk playlist all to myself. Who is on your Top Friends? I don’t have Myspace but Facebook ranks friends based on how much you interact with them and my top 5 are Angela, Gabie, Mils, Alique, and Andrew. What do you use to listen to music on the computer? Spotify.  Do people know a lot about you? You guys sure do. But yeah when it comes to irl people I wear my heart on my sleeve, too. What was the last thing you said out loud? “That’s enough for now.”  Do you miss anybody? Of course. All my friends. More than ever. Have you ever heard the song What A Wonderful World? Yes, though I think I may have only ever heard the chorus since that’s the most-played part of the song. Who was the last person you said I Love You to? Gabie. Have you ever deleted someone off of Facebook? I’ve unfriended countless people and blocked a handful of others. Do you have any bug bites right now? No. Puppy bites, yes. Have you ever been burned? My finger has. When I was 7 I stupidly laid a finger on a clothes iron that was plugged in. My grandma had been using it but she left for a while to do a task. It’s still up there on the stupidest things I’ve ever done. Who was your last inbox message from? It’s the same message from Gab I mentioned earlier. Would you ever consider being a critic? Nah. Analyzing works of art has never been my strong suit. I once had to keep a movie review blog as one of the requirements for my Film 100 class and I honestly found it difficult. Being a critic requires rich knowledge on anything and everything you’re critiquing, and I don’t know if I’m well-versed enough for that. I just want to enjoy my films, dude. Same goes for TV shows, paintings, food, poems, etc. Who was the last person you slept beside? Gab probs, but it’s been a while. Do you like Metallica? I loved For Whom the Bell Tolls from the very first second I heard it, which was when Triple H used it as his entrance song from one of the recent-ish Wrestlemanias. Other than that, I’m not familiar with their music.

What's your favorite kind of soup? Miso! What’s your best friend's favorite band? Angela loves The Maine. I know Gab doesn’t pick a favorite anything. Who was the last person you IMed? Again, Gabie. Have you ever heard of the band Thin Lizzy? Nope. Who was the last person you took a picture with? I haven’t had a photo with anyone in a while, but I want to guess that it’s my family. Do you play Guitar Hero? I used to. But I always preferred Rock Band because I really liked the concept of switching from one instrument to another. Do you play any real instruments? No. What are un-real instruments lol Where are your siblings right now? They’re both in the living room. Whose house did you last visit? My grandma’s house, aka the house where we used to live. My uncle baked me a tres leches cake as a graduation gift so I briefly came over to pick it up :) Since I was already there, my grandma also gave me a portion of the lengua she had made for dinner.  Who was the last person to come to your house? ^ Same grandma, and my cousin. They went over to meet Cooper and to do a lot of catching up. What time do you usually eat dinner? 7-7:30 in the evening. Have you ever searched your own house on Google Earth? Hahaha yeah, I think most of us have at one point. I also looked up myo old school when I was still studying there. Does it bother you when people have a loose grip on hugs? No. I know some people aren’t the most comfortable with hugs. Are you looking forward to next year? If I can be promised that the virus will be gone by 2021, then hell yes. What have you done so far this summer? This has been one long-ass summer...I’ve finished my thesis, relinquished my duties as VP for my org, owned a puppy, gotten sick for the first time in years, seen my girlfriend once in four months, cooked something from scratch for the first time, and tried to apply for simple side jobs over the interwebs. Do you have a common name or uncommon? It’s kinda in the middle? It’s not a unique name, but it’s also not a very popular choice. What's your favorite punk band? Against Me! I have my other fave punk bands but none has done it for me the way AM! has.

[lady-divine-writes]

Klaine one-shot “Synced Up” (Rated NC17)

It's a morning of heartbreak for poor Kurt Hummel. After spending a magical night with a man he knows he's never going to see again, he loses his brand new phone. But things go from bad to worse when he discovers someone has found his phone ... and is taking pictures with it. (2345 words)

Notes: This is a variation of a K*urtbastian fic I wrote for an old Klaine Advent Drabble prompt 'cloud'. If you've read the original (Hidden in the Cloud) this one is completely different. But it's also inspired by real events (that didn't happen to me), Sex and the City, and, to a small degree, Cinderella xD

Read on AO3.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!” Kurt grumbles as he storms off the elevator. He stomps down the hallway to his office and drops his bag on his desk, kicking his chair and the waste paper basket a la his stepbrother Finn Hudson as he goes.

“Language, Mr. Hummel,” Isabelle scolds playfully, following her cursing employee into his work space.

“I’m sorry, but I’ve lost my fu---” Kurt blows a breath between clenched teeth, stemming another tide of four-letter expletives. “I’ve lost my phone!”

“Oh, no!” Isabelle switches to serious mode, giving Kurt’s predicament the appropriate amount of gravitas considering how excited he was about upgrading. Kurt loved his new phone. He bought a Burberry case for it, spent the better part of one afternoon configuring it to perfection. Now three short days later it was already gone. “Do you have any idea where it might have disappeared to?” She watches Kurt root through his bag, pulling out the contents and laying them on his desk. She bites her bottom lip at some of them – an extra pair of underwear, balled up socks, a toothbrush, deodorant, a wad of condoms, and a bottle of lube that would choke a Rottweiler. She doesn’t know if he realizes what he’s revealing, if he’s just that comfortable around her, or so upset over the loss of his phone that he honestly doesn’t care.

Either way, Isabelle knows Kurt enough by now to know that he doesn’t normally carry those items in his bag.

Which means, despite losing his phone, someone got lucky last night.

“No.” Kurt shakes out his bag, sending the last scraps of old receipts and miscellaneous wrappers to the ground. When he reaches the bitter end with no phone in sight, he surveys the mess on his desk. “This is the seventh time I’ve been through my bag and nothing!”

“I just hope you lost it at home and not on the subway over here.” Isabelle sympathizes, but she’s also fishing for information on where her protégé spent his night.

Kurt plops down in his chair, holds his bag open at the edge of his desk with one hand, and sweeps his things back into it with the other. He doesn’t mention anything about the spare clothes or the condoms, but he doesn’t look embarrassed by them, either.

“Either way, there’s nothing I can do about it now.” Kurt closes his bag and shoves it against the wall.

The day is shot, and it’s only nine in the morning.

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do,” Isabelle offers, squeezing his shoulder.

He puts a hand over hers and pats it gently. “Thanks,” he says. “I will.” He flips open his laptop, preparing - albeit unenthusiastically - to get down to business. His computer comes out of hibernation, and already he has an alert in the bottom right-hand corner of his screen. Kurt glosses over it, but Isabelle notices.

“What’s that?” she asks, pointing a long, blush-painted nail at the tiny rectangular icon. Kurt’s gaze follows to the narrow box.

“That’s my Cloud alert. It shows up when my phone syncs to my computer,” he explains, positioning his cursor over it with a long, disappointed sigh. He clicks on it, and a larger box pops up. Kurt reads it, confused. “A new photo has been uploaded to my Cloud?”

Isabelle gasps. “That means someone has your phone!” she says, anxiously shaking Kurt’s shoulder. “And they’re taking pictures!”

“What the … no!” Kurt exclaims, opening his Cloud account to check. He knows this is his fault. How many times when he activated his phone did it ask him if he wanted a face recognition, pattern, password, pin, or some sort of swipe thing-y to unlock his phone, and he repeatedly pushed no? In fact, he was mildly offended that his phone would have so little faith in his ability to keep it safe. Obviously, the thing was right. “Oh, please be at home. Please just be Brian …” he mutters, praying that his phone slipped out of his pocket when he raced home to change and ran back out again, that it’s lying on the floor in his kitchen and that his cat took a selfie. Because if it’s not at home, it might be on the subway being violated by strangers. Or …

There’s only one other place he can think his phone might be. He doesn’t want to mention it, because he’s equal parts not entirely proud of it, and disappointed that he won’t get a repeat performance.

He may have left it at the apartment he stayed at last night.

An apartment not his own.

The apartment of a man he met at a bar, and then went home with.

A man he agreed to a one-night stand with before he realized – after dinner, drinks, and a lengthy conversation about school, work, books, movies, musicals, and future aspirations - this was a man he wouldn’t mind seeing again … a lot.

And the sex …

Kurt had heard of toe curling sex before, but had yet to experience it.

Ever since he moved to New York, he’s been waiting for his Sex and the City moment. He figured that, working for Vogue, it would come eventually. But five years had gone by, and not even so much as a pivotal Jimmy Choo sale.

Last night, he took a chance at going to the grand opening of a piano bar in The Village, some tackily decorated, wannabe “gin joint” with an obnoxious name to boot – Tramp Stamp Granny’s. He figured he’d do a write up on it for Vogue, that way he could get away with charging his drinks to his business account.

A foot through the door, he’d already decided he wasn’t going to enjoy himself.

But he saw a guy sitting alone, and they had a moment. The man bought him a drink, then he asked Kurt to dance. Kurt didn’t think it would turn into anything.

He was wrong.

He’d always pictured himself as a Carrie, and last night, he found his Mr. Big.

Kurt shakes his thoughts of the man from his mind. No use crying over spilt milk, or however that saying applies.

They agreed to one night, and that’s all he’s going to get. They hadn’t even exchanged numbers.

Which makes it fitting that Kurt lost his phone.

Kurt opens the picture.

No such luck on it being his cat.

It’s a picture of a hand (tres originale) wearing a black leather glove, and holding a parchment wrapped pastry - a cronut, he believes. Kurt has yet to try one since they became the newest, hottest trend in “expanding one’s bottom line”, not even when Vogue posted a review and Dominique Ansel, the chef who created them, sent seven dozen to the office. Too many carbs, too much sugar, too many empty calories. Yes, they smelled amazing, and yes, Kurt wept as he watched each and every one walk out the door with not a single bite of their flaky deliciousness entering his mouth.

He didn’t regret his decision to abstain, however, when he slipped into his Armani trousers later that night and they were a cinch to button.

But God, does it look good!

His stomach thinks so, too, because it growls loudly, reminding Kurt that he has yet to break into his morning bottle of kombucha.

“I know, right?” Isabelle agrees, putting a hand over her own groaning tummy.

Another alert box comes up on the screen and Kurt clicks it. A second picture opens, this time of a random Lord Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.

“Awww,” Isabelle coos, leaning closer to the screen. “Cute puppy!”

“Yeah,” Kurt scoffs. “At least we know that the jerk who has my phone saw a dog today. Lucky him.”

A third alert box appears. Kurt stabs at his mouse pad to open it. He wants to be bitter, wants to be completely furious that this man, whoever he is, is having the day of his life in New York, and taunting the hell out of him with it, but the next image takes him aback.

It’s of the same gloved hand, but this time, holding a beautiful red rose.

Kurt examines the picture thoroughly, hoping to find out where this stranger is. But the frame is focused entirely on the opened flower, the gloved hand a blur in the background. To the right and left, up and down, not an inch of scenery can he see.

“Are you sure you don’t know who has your phone?” Isabelle asks, a secret smile on her lips, wondering if the underwear, the toothbrush, and the condoms might have something to do with the mystery man taking pictures with Kurt’s phone. “Because it seems to me like he might be flirting with you.

“I … wha---?” Another box pops up before Kurt can come up with an answer, and he opens it quickly. It’s a difficult image to decipher at first - the same gloved hand, index finger pointed, but the object hanging off it doesn’t register.

Until it does, and Kurt x’s out of the image in a snap.

Isabelle snickers. “Was that a pair of handcu---?”

“I know who has my phone,” Kurt interrupts, eyes wide as his boss doubles over with laughter.

“Shame on you, Kurt!”

“Shame on me why!?”

“You weren’t going to tell me about your friend with the metal jewelry?”

“Maybe. Eventually. Yes. I just …”

The phone on Kurt’s desk rings, and they both go silent. Kurt and Isabelle look at it in confusion, as if it’s never rung before. From the light blinking on the panel, he knows that whoever it is didn’t call his line directly, but had to be transferred by the receptionist. Most of the people who call his office are looking for Isabelle, so they know his extension.

Which makes the caller on line 8 an enigma.

Kurt reaches across his desk for the receiver and answers it.

“Kurt Hummel’s office. Kurt speaking.”

“Blaine Anderson,” a smooth, newly familiar voice informs him. “From the bar last night?”

Kurt grins. Okay, a cat selfie would have been adorable, but this outcome is so much better! “I remember you.”

“I found your phone.”

The sound of that voice, coupled with the last picture Blaine sent, makes Kurt blush all over. “I can see that.”

“I’m heading your way to deliver it, if that’s alright.”

Isabelle, sitting on the corner of Kurt’s desk and eagerly listening in, squeezes his shoulder again, nearly digging her fingernails straight through his shirt in her excitement.

“Thank you. You’re a life saver.”

“I was originally going to hold it hostage in the hopes of convincing you to have dinner with me, but I figured an important Vogue employee such as yourself might need his phone.”

Kurt fist pumps the air. Isabelle offers him a mimed high-five, then discreetly tiptoes out the door.

She’ll let him have his privacy.

She can grill him about how his missing phone relates to his night out - and that pair of handcuffs - another time.

“And you would be right,” Kurt says. Once Isabelle’s out of earshot, he adds, “But I thought you said you only do one-night stands?”

“So did you.”

“True.” Kurt bites his cheek. This could go one of two ways. He’s hoping it’s a way that leads to a second date with this interesting, gorgeous guy. “But, you know, it’s not a hard-and-fast rule. I’ve been kind of re-thinking it.”

“I have to admit, so was I.” Blaine chuckles. He has the kind of laugh Kurt can feel. It reaches through the phone, finds it way under his skin. “Maybe we can talk about it. Do you have time for a bite? I’m carrying a cronut that’s been calling your name.”

“Has it now?”

Blaine’s mention of a bite has Kurt’s toes curling again. If he remembers correctly, Blaine left him with a bite mark last night, somewhere in the vicinity of his left upper thigh.

“Yeah,” Blaine says, his voice low. “We seem to have that in common.”

Kurt bites his lips together hard to keep from squealing and making an ass out of himself. “I think I may have a few moments … for the sake of that poor cronut.”

“Hmm. Just for the cronut?”

“That, and to thank you for returning my phone.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Possibly turning our one-night stand into a one-night, one-morning, with-the-possibility-of-dinner-later stand?”

“That’s … uh … kind of a long title.”

“I thought of that,” Kurt says, his attention pulled by the sound of the elevator down the hall pinging as it stops on his floor. “Shortening it might not get my message across. And I wanted to be very clear.”

“That makes sense. Well, a morning stand with the certainty of dinner later it is then,” Blaine says, and God! Kurt can hear his voice coming from the hallway!

“Sounds like a date.” Kurt plants his feet flat on the floor to keep from leaping out of his seat the second Blaine walks in. He has to maintain some illusion of cool, calm, and collected, even if he’s vibrating like a teenager in heat. To that end, he turns his chair, putting the back to the door. His desk chair has a high back. Faced this way, no one can even tell if he’s in the room or not.

Yup. Now he’s the picture of total nonchalance. What a brilliant plan.

Before he can change his mind, spin his chair back around and find a more natural way to sit, he hears the door to his office shut with a soft click. Footsteps stop behind his chair. His cell phone materializes on the desk in front of him, followed by a white paper pastry bag, that beautiful red rose … and Blaine’s silver handcuffs.

A strong hand caresses his arm. Warm lips dance over his jaw, Blaine’s cheeky grin undeniable.

“I can hardly wait.”

[80srockher]

Yuri on Ice Re-Watch and Live Commentary, Episode 8: Yuri vs Yuri! The Horror!! Rostelecom Cup, Short Program

All rise for the Theme of King JJ.

Run, Yurio.

Don’t snitch, Mila!

Your enthusiasm is cute but don’t injure the getaway driver, Yurio.

Gramps and his classic car, lol.

Also, I love pirozhkis. Gramps and I should be friends.

I wonder if Yurio told his grandfather of his impromptu trip to Japan before he left or if he sprung it on him when he got back to Russia.  Makes me wonder Gramps did Yurio a solid by purchasing the ticket in his own name.  Though, we’ll probably never know.

I can’t recall if I’ve heard Victor referred to as Russia’s national hero before now.  Adds an extra element to Yakov’s ire at his decision to skip the GP, IMO.

Victor.  Wearing sunglasses indoors and drinking coffee. At night.  Indeed, a man for all seasons.

So.  Vitya is talking up Yuri to the press and Yurio does not appreciate the partiality. 

This is, of course, in reference to Yuri.  The urge to deflect is strong within Victor.

Good job!

I’ve seen various speculations as to why Victor wouldn’t – or couldn’t – answer the reporter’s query. In my opinion, I think it’s just a matter of him being tired of giving the same response over and over, e.g., the Grand Prix’s not over so I haven’t committed…hard pass to Yurio!  

Well, you did want his attention, Yurio.

Victor’s “Sure, kid,” grin in this cap is gr9.

Aww, poor shy bb.

Ugh.  Mickey.  Not a fan.

However, aren’t you four or so years older than Emil, Sarah?  Surely, there’s someone a bit more age-appropriate. 

Well, obviously Sarah is friendly with YOU, Yuri.  

I like Sarah a lot, actually.  The women in this show are awesomely written.

Goddamn, Seung-gil. It’s either you or the 18 year-old at this point.  Help a sister out.

So stoic in the aftermath of that sick burn, lol.

Repeat after me, Yurio: You. Don’t.  Own.  Victor.

Honestly, there needs to be some sort of collective intervention with regards to this concept.

OMG, yes, Ep. 8 gives us the treasure that is JJ.  Can’t wait.

Just…. WTF are you doing, Seung Gil?

Also, Russian TV is listing Victor as a headliner and he’s not even competing, lol.

Oh, my.  As a basic straight, I don’t feel quite comfortable tossing the term “Queen” around.  Seung Gil is steadily creeping into that category for me, though.

Wowsa, JJ is tall.

LOL, poor Emil.  He’s the youngest competitor and so wants to hang out with the cool kids.  

Meanwhile, I’m going to pretend what Mickey is doing to Sarah here is an in-universe Italian thing.  Until I can’t anymore, of course.

Well.  Now I can’t, anymore.  That was quick.

Then adopt a pet, Mickey. Sarah’s not your property.

Well, that’s a relief.

Chekov’s steamed buns makes its first appearance.

All of Russia WILL NOT be competing with me for your attention today, boo.

Guess who has your national hero by the balls neck, Russia?

And later on tonight Japan is going to lay siege to Russia.  From the Southern border.  If you catch my drift.  Hehe. Heh.

Ahem.

Yuri’s internal monologue before this scene exposes his fear of ultimately losing Victor if he doesn’t perform well, while Victor actually thinks the pressure has lessened for Yuri.  Ugh, two clueless ships bumbling around each other in the night.

LOL.  This is so dramatic.  Kid is still only 15.

Their (super cute) reaction is a little confusing seeing as how Victor was telling the press just yesterday about having choreographed Yurio’s SP. 

Yuri breaks 100 points, again.  Woot!  Guess who’s also not afraid to show his love to Russia?  Gosh, these two.

They can’t contain their happiness and want to share it with their pal, Yurio.

Of course, Yurio mistakes their support for pity.  Ever considered they might enjoy your sparkling personality?

Didn’t cap, because I didn’t care to, but I’m still not feeling Agape even now.   It may be technically difficult but it just looks... not junior-ish, exactly, but certainly not mature enough for the Senior division, IMO.

JJ’s personality is even more “sparkling” than Yurio’s, lol.

They had the nerve, the audacity, the unmitigated gall to make this song so damn catchy.  You dared to go there, creators, and you succeeded.

However, the tramp stamp is just unforgivable.

Trust, I am singing along in spirit.

You charismatic bastard.

I blame Chekhov.

Poor Yuri looks just about shell-shocked right here.  What to do?

If you’re Yuri, you make the selfless choice for the man you love.

Makkachin is, of course, Victor’s beloved, longtime companion.  However, this scene (and consecutive ones in ep. 9) helped to convince me of Victor’s lack of close connections with a lot of people.  There isn’t anyone he can call on to keep track of this dire situation while he’s working in another country?  No one else that understands how much that dog means to him to potentially travel to Japan to be with Makkachin if worse comes to worse? If either of the above were applicable, then I think Yuri would justifiably request that Victor stay with him.  However, he must be intimately aware of Victor’s circumstances: that he’s been more or less a loner for a fair amount of time, at least.

Well, this expression is heartbreaking.  The man’s best friend is facing death and there’s nothing he can do. 

Thankfully, Yakov makes a timely entrance.

Yeah, the two caps are way similar, but I only did it for the text.  Observe Yakov’s smug excitement at the prospect of Victor returning. Dude misses Victor, but he’s shit at showing it.

Yakov misses Victor and despite everything, Victor still trusts Yakov.  Damn messy Russians.

Poor Yurio and his “Da fuck? I have to share a coach with the piggy again?” face.  LOL.

Aww, that little Makkachin doodle is so mean!

That ep. 9 “reunion” will more than make up for it, though. ;)

[outfitandtrend]

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[kasumi-chou]

I loved the yakov/lilia piece but it got me thinking. What about one where all the coaches sit and remember their skating days + reflect on their skaters?

Ranting

“I miss when Chris was sweet and innocent.”

Yakov let out a chuckle while looking atJosef’s defeated look.

“How do you think I feel? Victor was neveran angel, but at least he wasn’t this wild,” Yakov said with a sigh as hepicked up his beer and took a sip.

“At least your skaters didn’t come homewith a tramp stamp,” Alain mumbled into his beer.

“The difference between you and us, Alain,is that your skater is also your son. You’d have to put up with him anyway. We volunteerfor this crap,” Celestino laughed while slapping Alain back.

“Don’t remind me, I can deal with the maplelead tattoo, but the tramp stamp?” Alain groaned.

“I lost half of my own hair when Victorturned up to practice after cutting his long hair,” Yakov mumbled while shakinghis head.

“You two are lucky, at least you didn’thave an angel come up to you and ask if he can wear a skin type costume thathighlights his butt. I swear I fainted in shock when Chris asked me that,”Josef groaned.

“At least you guys don’t have to monitor asocial media account twenty-four, seven. I swear Phichit is going to kill meone day, he just runs off for the perfect media shot without factoring in thedanger. He climbed a statue in Russia to get a good shot of some building orsomething,” Celestino groaned while finishing off his drink.

“I’ve had to replace seven phones becauseYuri has smashed them to pieces. Seven! The boy has only been in my care forthree years,” he grumbled before lifting up his beer and taking a deep drink.

“When Japanese Yuuri was in my care, Iswear I spent every competition convincing him he did fine. Every competition,”Celestino sighed with a shake of his head.

“Jean joined a rock band and then comes tome and declares he is going to skate to his bands song,” Alain said whileshaking his head.

“I do not understand what you are complainingabout,” the four male coaches turned to the only woman at the table. Lilia satthere, a glass of wine held in her hand.

“You all have wonderful skaters that trytheir best. Shouldn’t you be thankful for that?” Lilia questioned whileglancing between the four males.

“But we are, Lilia,” Josef chuckled.

“I am very thankful that Jean is sodedicated, but sometimes I just need to rant,” Alain said with a small smile.

“Phichit and Yuuri are both lovely boys. Itsaddens me that Yuuri got another coach, but it is clear that Yuuri is betterin Victor’s hands than my own,” Celestino said with a soft smile.

“Venting, Lilia, we care for each of ourskaters, but sometimes we just need to vent,” he explained with a wave of hishand.

“I do not understand, but please do notstop on my account,” Lilia said with a wave of her hand.

“Do you not ever have a moment where youwant to punish your Yuri for his mouth?” Josef questioned, causing Lilia toglance towards the bald man and nod her head slowly.

“That is what we are doing, talking aboutthose times. The Grand Prix is over, it is break time before we all hurry backfor National Championships,” Josef explained with a gentle smile.

“I see,” Lilia said with a nod.

“Oh god, nationals,” Alain groaned whilerubbing his forehead, “Jeans be at me about wanting to try and break a worldrecord at Nationals.”

“Tell your boy to keep dreaming, if anyoneis breaking any records it is Victor,” Yakov said with smirk, earning a snortfrom Lilia.

“Don’t rule Yuri out just yet, Yakov,”Lilia warned while taking a sip of her wine.

“Hey now, Phichit has been breaking recordsall season, they just aren’t fancy ones like your Russian skaters,” Celestino pointedout with a smirk.

“May god have mercy on all of us,” Josefsaid while raising his beer. Yakov chuckle as he rose his own glass and gentlytapped it against Josef’s along with Celestino and Alain.

“Amen to that,” Alain mumbled as they alltook a sip of their beers.

“You all need more than god,” Lilia mumbled,resulting in the table bursting into laughter at how true the former ballerina’swords were.

[ramajmedia]

Harry Potter: 5 Best Dementors (& The 5 Worst) | ScreenRant

We're going to look through the books and movies to find the most terrifying, soul-sucking Dementors of them all. We're also going to scoff at the lamest Dementors to ever float about making every day feel a bit like Monday. Want an excuse to eat chocolate? Then here's the list for you!

On one hand, Dementors are Harry Potter's Achilles heel. They cut through his bravery right to his worst memories, like a free-floating Horcrux coming to make out! Fortunately, they're as dangerous as they are easily defeated. Like many of us, they're vulnerable to chocolate and nostalgia. So, what separates the top-tier terrors from the lazy, lame moaners? Read on! You'll also see how you can repeatedly use 'sucking' as both a negative and positive!

RELATED: Harry Potter: 10 Things About Hermione Granger That Haven't Aged Well

10 Worst: Hodor-mentor

These Dementors are just being lazy! Considering they can clearly reach through the bars of the elevator, we know the ministry hasn't put a defensive charm there. We know they can open doors because they did so on the Hogwarts Express the first time we saw them. The Dementor equivalent of 'hold me back, Dementor-Steve! I'd totally suck this guy's soul if you weren't holding me back! Oh, I lament your considerable 'back-holding' skills that preclude me sucking this guys soul!'. This is just poor work all round.

9 Best: Bad Weather Fans

You could take marks off for leaving their posts, but you've gotta give it to the Dementor who knocked 'The Boy Who Lived' off of his broom with sheer halitosis. As Harry and Gryffindor were battling Quidditch "powerhouse" Hufflepuff, these Dementors got a bit too frisky for the faculty's liking. We actually see one right up in Harry's proverbial 'grill' giving his soul a suggestive suckle and that takes him out of the game completely. Clearly meant for bigger things than guarding the local school.

RELATED: Harry Potter: 10 Movie Villains You Wouldn’t Think Are More Powerful Than Voldemort (But Actually Are)

8 Worst: Duhhh-mentor

You know when you get an assignment with clear instructions, but your partner wants to take the easy way out and ends up ignoring those instructions entirely? That's this Dementor. Tasked with getting Harry Potter, this one decides to detour into Dudleyville. While his partner stays on the job, he sees 'Big D' as an easier, Patronus-less target to gorge on mid-mission. Back to Dementor Detention for you!

7 Best: Tunnel Of Love

Of course, while the previous Dementor was slacking off by picking easy but non-essential prey, this guy was on the job! This Dementor had Harry right where he wanted him. In pro-wrestling parlance, he 'goozled' him by the neck and was seconds away from tasting 'Boy Who Lived' soul. If Duhh-mentor had have been on the lookout, these two probably would've gotten the cookies. Points for the near-miss, though.

RELATED: Harry Potter: 5 Most Powerful Slytherin Wizards (& 5 Worst)

6 Worst: Jury Duty

You've got to be a pretty underwhelming Dementor to get assigned to 'float around the ministry ceiling' duty. These Dementors aren't just doing the laziest of work, they're put in a position to be getting the Dementor equivalent of a sunburn. With Delores Umbridge's Patronus sat right there—shudder to think of her 'happy thought' that conjured it—it'd be like floating above Chernobyl. The lowliest government job available.

5 Best: Death Smoocher

Now here's a Dementor committed to doing its job and doing it right. This one clearly remembers that Barty Crouch Jr was supposed to be buried in Azkaban, not alive cosplaying as Bill Weasley's dad. With the shot to suck out his soul, this dementor wastes no time and gets the tongue in. In the grand scheme of things, he probably hurt Voldemort's overall odds, and thus the Dementors chances at becoming the national bird, but, at the time, it was the play of the week.

RELATED: Harry Potter: 10 Hilarious Voldemort Logic Memes That Are Too Funny

4 Worst: Don't Bogart My Chocolate, Man

The only thing worse than a lame Dementor is something pretending to be one. The Bogart in Professor Moody's office is little more than a Dementor-shaped punching bag for Harry to repeatedly beat down.

Curiously still able to give off the Dementor's depressing effects, it is nonetheless also guilty of being a spider on rollerskates in its spare time or being easily defeated in the Tri-Wizard maze. Quite frankly, it was far more terrifying when it turned into a creepy pop-up clown or Fashionista Snape.

3 Best: Training Day-mentor

The first dementor we ever meet and clearly a potent one at that. This guy manages to frost up an entire train filled with kids fresh off of candy from the cart.

Not only that, but he also manages to find the one kid with the tastiest and most deliciously terrible past and almost ends the series at Book 3. Harry Potter and the Half-A-Train-Ride-Before-He's-A-Gormless-Soulless-Shell wouldn't have sold half as many copies. Plus, it would've been about as long as a pamphlet. If not for Professor Lupin, this one could've topped the list.

RELATED: Harry Potter: 10 Hysterical Dursley Logic Memes

2 Worst: Dercrabbe Malfoylor

"Dementors" mostly in the sense that this plan was demented. When Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, and Marcus Flint waddled onto the Quidditch pitch dressed as Dementors, it showed the reason Slytherin's aren't known as intellectual powerhouses. Lacking the depressing effect, weather manipulation, and generally everything that goes with Dementors, they thought some cheap cloaks would suffice in spooking Harry out of the game. When you're such a sad Dementor that you lose 50 points for Slytherin just for showing up, you suck. In the ineffectual lame way.

1 Best: Lakeside Lover

The Dementors that came as close as Voldemort to ending 'The Boy Who Lived'. With Sirius unconscious and Harry unable to execute his Patronus Charm, this squad of soul suckers almost did the deed. It might've even still allowed for the prophecy to be true since a soulless Harry would still be 'alive' for Voldemort to kill later. Convenient.

When you are about to succeed only for time-traveling duplicates to foil your plan, you can still call it a moral victory, assuming your morals are 'suck souls, make bank.' We should assume all dementors have that tattooed somewhere. Probably a tramp stamp. Hence the cloaks.

NEXT: Harry Potter: 6 Reasons Ron Is Harry’s Best Friend (& 4 Reasons It’s Actually Hermione)

source https://screenrant.com/harry-potter-best-worst-dementors/