#the trains were pretty weird and delayed but somehow everyone was wrong enough about what was happening that i got home lol

[dyed-indigo]

i am having a wonderful day today :)

[porkchop-ao3]

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 62)

Plans

Sorry for the delay but better late than never! This is a pretty long chapter so hopefully that makes up for it. Warning for use and mention of alcohol abuse. 

Tagging @emily-strange and @actuallyhansolo ❤

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

-

The night it all fell to shit was a weird one. It was like we were hanging in some kind of dysfunctional family limbo. Dutch left the tent where Micah was still fighting to stay alive against all the odds, and he glared at our little group of black sheep from across the camp. We'd grown in numbers, though, even if we weren't all sitting together in a posse, people were with us in spirit. Kieran and Mary-Beth had come over to see how Arthur was doing, and to make it very clear that they were firmly with us; they didn't trust Micah, never had and never would. They couldn't comprehend how Dutch was acting the way he was. 

Lenny showed his support not through words, but by silently stopping by and patting Arthur on the shoulder, nodding at him once. Karen was blind drunk but she yelled at Dutch's closed tent, chanting the words 'snake' and 'die' before Bill dragged her away and deposited her on her bed roll. In fact, Bill and Javier looked like they were the only ones who had outright sided with Dutch, and I wasn't sure if they actually believed that Arthur and the rest of us were traitors, or if they were just siding with him out of blind loyalty. Javier kept looking over at us, something like regret and confusion in his eyes but whatever he was feeling obviously wasn't strong enough to have him leave Dutch's side. Bill, though… Bill was just full of contempt and whatever he believed, it certainly wasn't any conclusion he'd drawn himself. 

Everyone else was just tiptoeing around, not seeming to firmly align themselves with anyone. These were the people who openly sympathised with Arthur and made it clear they didn't believe that any of us were the rat, but also joined Dutch at the table outside his tent where he was smoking a cigar – looking dark and pensive, miles away and stewing within a thick black cloud – to offer him similar words of comfort. The likes of Reverend Swanson, Pearson and Tilly. Even Miss Grimshaw, who seemed a little conflicted about the time she poured into nursing Micah, she didn't condemn either side. She just marched around with a perpetual sad frown, reeling at the way the family she'd tried so hard to keep moving crumbled around her. 

I felt terrible. But it could all have been avoided if Dutch hadn't been so twisted by Micah. If he'd just listened to the people that mattered the most, his 'sons'. But it seemed he'd picked his side. Though I did wonder what would happen if… or when Micah succumbed to his injury. 

"I think we should go," Arthur murmured to me quietly, as he pushed his stew around his plate. It was odd eating dinner at such a time, but there was still plenty of stew left in Pearson's pot and nobody wanted to let his hard work go to waste. Limbo. A weird feeling of normality caked in tension. Like when a marriage is breaking down but both parties are still trying to plod along, going through the motions. 

I looked up at him immediately from where I sat on the bed next to him. "Now?"

Arthur met my eyes. "Well, there's nothing left here," he said. I pondered his words. It was funny. For weeks and weeks I'd longed to hear him say that, to get a concrete agreement that we were to leave and get away together. But now that it was served to me on a platter, I felt so odd.

"You don't want to see if Micah pulls through?" I questioned. 

"I… I'm with Charles. I don't think he'll pull through," he breathed, looking back down at the plate.

"No, but," I began, not knowing where I was going. 

"You don't want to leave?" His question wasn't judgemental or annoyed. 

"Yes, I do. This just feels so surreal. So sudden. It almost feels like it'd be wrong to just pack up and leave after this has happened, like we should stay and try and sort it out somehow. Though I don't know how…"

"I know what you mean. But I'm worried about you, Micah pulled a gun on you. And I don't know what's in any of these fools' heads, there's no telling if someone's gonna try and do the same thing. And I don't know if I want to stick around and save anything that almost took you away from me, or condoned it."

I paused for a while, then finally nodded.

"Just eat up," he whispered, nodding back at me with a brooding look in his eye. "We'll start packing–"

His head jerked as something caught his eye. I followed his gaze and spotted Dutch getting up. My heart thumped painfully when for a moment I thought he was going to come over, but instead made a beeline for the horses, not looking anywhere but ahead. Without saying a word to anyone, he climbed up onto his Arabian and left. Just left. Everyone stared off in surprise, not really knowing what to say about it.

"Where's he going?" I breathed.

"I have no idea," he mused. 

"Should… should we go after him, try and talk?" I asked, meeting Arthur's eyes. He looked into mine for a while and I could see him thinking, coming to some sort of silent conclusion that made his expression sour before shaking his head sharply. 

"I don't think I wanna talk," he told me bluntly and I couldn't help but be shocked. 

"You don't even want to try? Not that I think you have an obligation to," I said softly and Arthur shrugged his shoulders with an attitude I'd never seen in him before then.

"I'm done. And I mean it. I had plenty of doubts about him before this, and now I just can't see a way of fixing things. He took Micah's word over mine. He treated you like the root cause of all our problems and he couldn't care less that Micah almost shot you," he ranted, getting progressively more pissed off. 

I looked away and thought very hard about what to say next. I was sorely tempted to say fuck it, and agree to run away with him right then and there. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. Not leaving the likes of Mary-Beth, Lenny, Abigail and Jack all here to suffer the consequences of whatever Dutch planned. Some people had made their mind up, but others… It was clear to me that they saw security in Dutch that they didn't have elsewhere. They were stuck.

"What if we ask around, and leave as a group with whoever wants to come?" I suggested. It wasn't the first time I'd said something like it, but this time felt different, like it was actually reasonable. That it actually might work. 

"And then what?" He asked me. 

"We'd take our things and go, find somewhere else to camp for a while, and then figure things out when we're not sitting in a camp full of people who might just want us dead," I said bluntly. His lips parted, his eyes bored into mine. The stare he gave was intense, and made me feel as though this was a turning point, a moment with huge gravitas and consequence. 

"I think… I think that'd be our best option," he quietly agreed. "But what will we do about money, Dutch has–" he stopped, remembering something, eyes casting across the camp, settling on the Marstons’ tent. "Hold on a second." 

Arthur got up, depositing his plate on the table by his bed before crossing over towards the tent. He called out for Abigail and John, and was ushered inside. I sat and waited, frowning to myself just slightly, pondering his sudden actions. 

Javier strolled past my eyeline, between Arthur's tent and the Marstons’. Without giving it much thought, I called to him. He paused, casting his gaze to me almost in surprise. He stood there for a few seconds, cigarette hanging from between his fingers, a dusting of ash floating down as the stub burnt away with his inaction. He looked at me expectantly, though he moved no closer. 

"Javier," I sighed sadly, shaking my head, "surely you don't trust a word Micah says. How could you? You know exactly what he's like–-"

"I don't," he told me bluntly. "I think he's full of crap," he shrugged his shoulders.

"So why are you acting like Arthur and John and the rest of us are the villains?"

"I… I don't… think that," he stammered, losing some of his conviction, speaking very hesitantly. "This situation, muñequita… this is messed up. But all I know is that you guys aren't being loyal to Dutch. And that matters to me."

"Why Dutch? Why should we be blind-loyal to Dutch when he doesn't care about us?" I frowned deeply, aggravated by his expectancy. 

"He cares. Dutch always cares."

"He's pouring all our resources into saving a man who was about to shoot me in the face. He doesn't give a rat's ass about me, or Arthur. Because if I was killed in this camp, you know it would destroy him, the guilt he would feel–" I shook my head abruptly. "Dutch has never liked me. And that's fine, I don't care, but Arthur and I– we love each other. We're in this for the long haul. But Dutch doesn't want to see Arthur happy."

"He doesn't wanna lose Arthur to you. And that's exactly what's happened; Arthur wants to leave this gang to be with you, and you think Dutch should be perfectly happy about that?"

"If he saw Arthur as a son rather than a well trained gun, an asset to his criminal gang, then yes. He should be perfectly happy about him wanting to get out of this dangerous world and settle down," I answered bluntly, shrugging my shoulders and looking at him like I couldn't for a moment understand why he didn't see it.

"Criminal gang? That's the way you see us all?" He cocked his brow, finally taking a number of steps towards me. 

"Not at the start. At the start you were all so hopeful and free. Now you're a bunch of penned in animals, lashing out and doing anything and everything to survive with no thought to anyone but yourselves. And this ain't an insult, though you'll surely take it as such. This is what Dutch's decision-making has done," I answered, keeping my eyes on his and not backing down. Javier was good. I knew he was. He was just being led into the fire by a smooth-talking egoist. 

Javier was quiet for some time, twitching a little, his jaw clenched tight. He did not want to listen. 

"Dutch saved me. He gave me hope when I had nothing, put food in my belly, shelter over my head, safety. Without him, I would not be the man I am today. I may not even be alive," he shrugged cluelessly, "and you want me to abandon him?"

"I don't want you to do anything," I sighed, finally breaking eye contact. "This is your decision to make."

"Listen, I–" he began, voice softening. "I always liked you. When Micah told us today about you and the Pinkertons, sure, I had my doubts about you. Now, I… I don't believe you're working against us. You have no motive, especially since you and Arthur…" he trailed off, sighing. 

I looked up at him again, waiting for him to make his point, though he took his time.

"But I cannot betray Dutch. I can't leave him, not now, not when he is the reason we're all still alive."

I almost told him that he was also the reason why we had to run so fast, always pushing his luck, killing Cornwall, Bronte, robbing banks in huge cities, inserting himself into a fight that wasn't ours with Eagle Flies and making things worse for them. Pissing people off left and right and acting as the ringmaster for the world's deadliest circus. 

“Where did Dutch go, anyway?” I asked, instead.

“Said he needed to clear his head. He’s really hurt, you know,” he told me and I was so close to rolling my eyes.

"He had his chance to listen to us but–” I began, then trailed off, “what's the use? I can't change your mind, Javier. I just hope things turn out right for you," I sighed. 

His lips parted, but he didn't know what to say. Eventually, he dropped his wasted cigarette and then carried on walking.

Arthur came out of the Marstons’ tent just a moment later, an edgy, agitated but somehow hopeful look about him. He came to me, immediately beginning to gather his things from around the tent, putting them away in his chest. I watched him with a confused frown, lips hanging open, about to ask him what was happening when he told me anyway. 

"We're going. Us, with those three," he told me very quietly, but in a rushed, urgent tone of voice. 

"Now?" I got up abruptly. 

"Yes. We gotta move while… while Dutch's gone. It'll be easier," he told me, "maybe some folk'll come with us. Would you do me a favour, princess?"

"Of course, anything," I blinked at him, stunned. 

"While I'm packing up, you go out there and you… you talk to anyone who's on our side, okay? You see if they want out. And you tell 'em to pack up."

"Wait, how is this gonna work?" 

"Abigail–" he began, realising he was at full volume before dialling it down, "Abigail knows where all our money is. She's got a key, she stole it while everyone was distracted, when Micah was telling his pack of lies about you. She felt like things was gonna blow up, and she was right. We got a key to all the money, every penny we been putting away for safekeeping," he rose up and closed the space between us. He cupped my face, his eyes were bright and alive, truly, for the first time I'd seen in a while. 

"So, what, are we gonna take it?" I balked in a hiss of a whisper. 

"No, not… not all of it. But we'll take our share," he told me, then pressed his lips to mine briefly, but firmly, "we deserve some of that money, it's ours. It's ours, John's, Charles'..." He trailed off, he sounded like he was trying to reassure himself more than me.

"Damn right we deserve it," I encouraged, nodding my head, "hell, I bet you put most of it in there."

"We're just gonna take enough for us, just what's fair. We ain't gonna screw the rest of 'em over. We… we…" he stammered, his eyes dropping to my mouth. I could see the light dim from his eyes and I could feel the guilt he was experiencing like it was seeping from his pores.

"Arthur, it's okay. What we're doing is okay," I whispered to him, wrapping my arms around him and hugging him tight, "Dutch ain't left us many options. It's clear his mind's made up and he don't deserve a moment more of your time. Taking a little money from the communal pot… that's the least you deserve. All them years; he's lucky this is all you're doing."

"What if he comes after us?"

"Then I'll kill the bastard myself," I said through clenched teeth. "He ain't ruining another moment. This is a good thing, baby, this is… this is the moment. The right time, what we've been waiting for."

"You're right," he breathed, turning his head towards my hair and inhaling my scent. 

"Come on. Keep packing, I'll go speak to the others," I said. 

"Abigail's gonna sneak in and get the money. She knows where it is, it's in that cave," he told me so quietly that even I struggled to hear. I pulled away from his embrace and nodded. I kissed him once more, then exited the tent. 

I scanned the whole camp, my eyes landing on Charles where he was on guard duty. It seemed so strange, again, that the menial jobs people did day to day were still being carried out. I guessed that people were just trying to cling on to normality. I sped over to him first, catching his attention when I was a few places away, he turned to look at me and grew tense at the urgency in my gait. 

"Charles," I breathed, reaching him and touching his arm, glancing around once before continuing, "Arthur and I; we're getting out of here. The Marston's too. I ain't asking you to pick a side, I will never judge you for your decision, but–"

"Of course I'll come. You needn't ask," he told me in his no nonsense tone, tilting his head up slightly in a small display of pride and loyalty. A smile broke across my face. 

"Well then," I breathed with a laugh, "I suggest you gather your things. We ain't lingering."

"Of course," he nodded.

"And will you tell Sadie? Give her the same option to get out of here? Anyone who you think might wanna come," I requested and he nodded again.

"So this is really happening? We're splitting the gang?" 

"What gang?" I grunted, turning and looking at the tattered ashes of what was left. Charles said nothing, but I knew that he saw it too. He patted my shoulder twice, and then headed off. 

Of the gang members left, there were few I wanted to ask. Some were far too loyal to Dutch; obviously the likes of Javier and Bill, others I just weren't close to. I never spoke to Strauss or Reverend Swanson; even Uncle, I didn't know any of them well enough to entertain the idea of asking. I figured Arthur would ask those sorts of people if he felt it was the right thing to do. It interested me to see that some people were already packing, though I knew they hadn't been asked yet. I assumed it was a case of fleeing the sinking ship. Pearson was one of those people, Trelawny – a man who seemed to come and go like the rain – was another. Mary-Beth was too, though she was doing it kind of slowly and subtly as if she didn't want people to notice that was what she was doing. Kieran helped her. 

I made my way over to the girls' wagon, where Karen slept, Tilly woefully held her head in her hands, and Mary-Beth quietly folded away clothes and trinkets into a case around the side.

"Ladies, may I… could I speak with you?" I asked, watching as Karen groggily lifted her head, and Tilly looked up. Mary-Beth hummed her acknowledgement but didn't stop what she was doing. 

"Arthur and I think it's best we move along, given the circumstances," I began softly, timidly. Tilly gave a humourless laugh. 

"You think?" She queried. It wasn't mean-spirited. It was just tired and sad and disappointed. She was taking it hard. 

"And we figured we'd ask folk if they wanna come too. The Marstons think it's a good idea too. I don't want this to seem like I'm asking y'all to pick a side, but I want to give you an option for if… if you don't wanna stay here no more. You ain't stuck," I continued, meeting Mary-Beth's eyes. Her lips parted and she was stunned, hesitant.

Karen grunted and slumped back down on her bedroll, ignoring the suggestion for the most part. I looked at Tilly. She stared off distantly, her mouth slightly pursed. I waited for her to say something, half expecting some anger or upset similar to that of Javier's, I thought she was just as loyal to Dutch as he was.

"I'm not going with you. But I ain't sticking around here neither," she told me, striking me full of surprise. "Things just went too far today, people pointing guns at each other, accusing everyone of everything, this ain't no place for nobody. Listen, I'm glad you have a way out of here. And I'm glad that that little boy does too," she pushed herself to her feet and pointed in the direction of the Marstons' tent. "But I… I don't think I want any part of this no more."

I nodded slowly. "I understand. Tilly, all I want is for people to do the right thing for themselves. And I want them to be safe. If you think leaving all of this behind is the right thing for you, then I'm fully behind you. You've been kind to me, just like everybody else. I appreciate the time I've known you," I told her carefully. She fidgeted a little on her feet, but nodded. 

"Thank you, I– I wish nothin' but the best for you and Arthur," she told me, then with a final nod she disappeared around the wagon. I presumed she was gathering her things. 

"I knew it," Karen slurred, her cheek pressed into the ground. "I knew she was outta here. Jus' like you, and jus' like Mary-Beth," she added. I couldn't help but frown a little, and Mary-Beth met my eyes, but Karen chuckled drunkenly. "I don't blame a single one of you. Get out before this thing kills you." 

"What'll you do, Karen?" I asked, sitting down beside her. She lifted herself up, propped up on her elbows. 

"Me? Don't worry 'bout me. I got places I can go," she told me, a dizzy smile on her face. She didn't seem to be bogged down by the gravity of the situation. The booze was to thank for that, of course. 

"Like where?"

"I don' know. Places. I'll be fine." 

"I'm worried about you," I admitted, remembering how my mother got when she drank too much. The scene before me looked too familiar for comfort.

"Y'all keep saying that. Stop it. Let me live my life," she muttered. I knew from experience there was no reasoning with a person in this state. No way to make them realise their self destruction. 

"You're welcome to come with us, Karen, if you wanna get out of here," I assured her, patting her shoulder.

"I'm with Tilly," she muttered, "this whole thing's a mess and you can run off as a group but you'll fall apart too. Ain't nothing you can do. Nothin' ever lasts," she cried out bitterly, her face screwed up in a wince that was full of anger and pain and I thought of Sean. I thought of the fact that she was clearly close to him and I thought of how things began to fall apart along with his death. I was choked up. I cleared my throat and brushed a loose ringlet from Karen's face and she peered up at me like she didn't know how to respond. 

"I'm so sorry, Karen," I whispered. 

"For what, what'chu done?" She asked. I simply shook my head. 

"I'm sorry that things have fallen apart," I added.

"Can't be helped," she sighed, reaching up and squeezing my hand. I was never particularly close to Karen, so the act warmed my heart. 

"Um, may I speak with you?" Mary-Beth squeaked like a mouse above us, gingerly edging towards me and looking at me with concerned, arched brows. 

"Of course," I nodded, then rose to my feet after giving Karen's hand a squeeze back. I followed Mary-Beth away from listening ears until she turned around and stood before me, fiddling with her fingers. 

"I'm so sorry, but I can't come with you," she blurted out, and I already began to shake my head, holding my hands out reassuringly, but she continued anyway, "you know Kieran and I? We– I promised him–"

"Mary-Beth, it's okay. I ain't asking anyone in a bid to make 'em feel like they gotta. You have your own plans. I'm glad," I smiled at her. 

"You sure? It's not that I don't trust you and Arthur and the others to keep everyone safe, it's just…" she trailed off and sighed, looking across the camp to where Kieran was. I put my hand on her shoulder.

"I know. You go and be with him. I know how you're feeling; take your chance to get away and build your life together while you still can," I told her, then opened my arms and let her decide if she wanted to hug me. She did. She closed the gap between us and squeezed me tight, rubbing my shoulders. 

I felt like I wanted to cry. Why did this feel like a goodbye? More than just a goodbye for now, but a permanent one? I swallowed back the sudden wave of emotion I felt and patted her back a couple times before we parted. She offered me a small smile and took my hands in hers. 

"I hope you build the prettiest of lives. We all deserve a little happiness, don't you think?" She told me quietly, and I nodded in agreement. 

"Yeah, I think we do," I whispered. She squeezed my hands, then headed back towards the wagon to continue her packing. 

I exhaled and turned around to look at the state the camp was left in. It was full of people packing up; a scene that wasn't by any means new or different, it'd happened time and time again already. But the fact that people were packing for themselves this time… there was no sense of community, or togetherness. It felt like an ending. A dissolving of a family that once was so strong; it was heartbreaking, but somehow inevitable. Once there was differing ideas and loyalties pulled in different directions, things would change. And they changed in the most destructive of ways; with Micah laying shivering and sweating and close to death, with Dutch running off alone and abandoning the camp for the first time ever, with the majority of people deciding that it was too late to salvage anything. Deterioration until there was nothing but a scattered collection of parts left to make the best of things. 

All because of Micah Bell.

[staylovehearts]

Enough?

Lee Felix x Reader

Word Count ~3.9 k

Summary: You never wanted Felix to find out that the fans he loves so much can be so cruel.

Tags: angst, hate comments, self-doubts, Felix is an idol in this one, and you’re like his not so secret girlfriend, the company is chill but the fans aren���t, mentions of other stray kids members

It's a simple routine. As you unlock your phone you immediately swipe away about twenty different notifications from different social media accounts without even looking at them. You are not even sure why you even still bother with an Instagram and all of that. Maybe you should just go private again. Or delete everything. But that would feel like defeat. Like giving up. So instead you just try to not look at the mean words people are spouting at you on the daily. When it first started you still tried to report every single comment. Blocked every person who insulted you. But once the comments became too many to count you gave up on that as well.

But it's fine. Ignore them all. Swipe it away. Don't look at it. Focus on the nice comments. The people that spammed flame emojis under your recent Instagram selfie. The ones leaving nice comments and replies. Or at least those, that seem neutral. The ones that like to joke around or post memes. Damn, even the people that drop Loona fancams under your tweets are bearable.

But you can ignore them all for the sake of the one message that you actually want to read.

cuddly coala boy: are you going to be watching me later tonight?? i hope you're not mad that i had to cancel our skype date because of this :((

The text came at exactly 4:35 in the morning. Well, 4:35 in the morning in your timezone. That means for him it must have been... wait, what's the time difference again? Where even is he right now? You are too lazy to actually look up timezones right now to properly calculate the difference, but you decide to assume that it was a reasonable time. Well, at least you hope it was fairly reasonable. With the way his schedule works it's not unusual for him to send you messy texts full of typos past midnight when he is exhausted from a day of dance practice and vocal training and he just fell into bed after a quick shower and decided to send you a short text, already half asleep. It's also not rare for him to text you early in the morning. When he is on his way to his first schedule of the day. Early in the morning, but already buzzing with energy and excitement. Sometimes he'd send pictures of his breakfast and gush about the organic canteen. In summer he sent you a picture of the sunrise almost every morning. Because in summer the sun rises so early, that most people sleep through this daily spectacle of nature. But those that are woken up at five in the morning – even earlier on some days – never miss out on a sunrise. And you get to see those pictures of the sunrise in a different country, mostly after you've already missed the sunrise in your own location. Most of the pictures weren't even that special, some of them even too blurry to make out more than washed-out colours and the rough outlines of buildings. On some mornings the sky was too cloudy to show more than a lighter stripe of colour beneath a layer of grey and blue. But even on those days, Felix made it a point to show you the sunrise. And you have all of those pictures saved. Because you are just so goddamn whipped for this sunshine of a boy who sends you pictures of the actual sun every morning alongside a happy good morning text.

I'm not mad at all!! I know that work comes first, I'm sure we'll be able to make up for that skype date, have fun later, I might join when I have the time, but you know how the vlive times sometimes don't work with the timezones :/

It takes you a good fifteen minutes or so until you have finally typed up a reply that you are actually confident sending. You don't want to show that you are actually upset. You don't want to make him feel bad for having to cancel your plans. But it's probably obvious that you feel a little bitter about this. You were understanding the first few times this happened. And of course, you are still understanding. You knew that things would probably be like this. But it's becoming harder to hide your disappointment with every skype call that has to be moved to a different date. Every delayed reply. Every day that passes with just a few short messages being sent back and forth during water breaks.

But you know what you signed up for when you not only agreed on trying this long distance relationship, but trying it with an idol on top of the insane timezone difference.

Seeing the friendly kid you used to go to school with on television was already a weird experience. But finding out that he had become a K-Pop star felt like some kind of fever dream. To be completely honest you didn't even know what K-Pop was until you heard Felix – and his bandmate Chan – talk about it on national television. Your mother had called you downstairs in a frenzy to make you watch the special report. When you got there she was pointing at the screen excitedly, asking you over and over look, look, isn't this a boy you used to go to school with? Did you know that he's famous in Korea now? Isn't this crazy? You could certainly agree with her on that last question. To make a long story short, you spent pretty much the rest of that day – and most of the following week – researching every available bit of information about this K-Pop thing and the group your school friend was now part of. You listened to and downloaded their entire discography within one day. Watched every music video and memorised the member's faces within hours. And in the following days, you went through every vlive video and any other content you could find. Saying you were hooked would have been an understatement.

The thought of reaching out to Felix hadn't crossed your mind until maybe two weeks into your newly discovered obsession. It was a suggestion by a friend who you had a couple of courses together with. She had brought the idea up completely nonchalantly as if just hitting up a celebrity is a thing you do every other day. When you expressed that sentiment she just shrugged as if to say dunno, but weren't you friends with him?

Well, she wasn't really wrong about that. But she also wasn't really right. Sure, Felix and you went to school together. You had classes together for three years and you saw him pretty much every other day. But you were never super close to him. Felix was just that kind of person that everyone was on good terms with. He'd sit down at a different table at lunch every day, nerds and jocks were equally welcoming of him. Everyone likes having Felix around, but he wasn't insanely popular either. If someone would have asked about Felix the most common answer would have been something along the lines ah yeah, that guy, he's really nice, we don't really hang out outside of school though. That was just the kind of relationship almost everyone had with him, the kid you'd do group projects or share a lunch table with but not necessarily your first pick when you wanted to put together a group for karaoke that weekend. So Felix and you weren't really friends. You remember being in a group project with him once and for maybe a month or so he even was your lab partner until the seats were switched but that's pretty much it. Maybe you had a bit of a fleeting crush on him back then. Most girls had. The freckles dusting his cheeks and the big brown eyes gave him something adorable and his sunny personality matched that all too well. But back then as well you never considered acting on those feelings and years later you had almost completely forgotten about them altogether.

Tracking him down was hard, but easier than you thought it would be. Of course, the old phone number you managed to find in some inactive group chat didn't work anymore. And any social media you ever knew he had was deactivated. But somehow – through a friend of a friend of an acquaintance – you managed to get in contact with him again. And you immediately remembered what you had liked about Felix back then. Talking to him was as easy as ever. Somehow texting him didn't feel like talking to a celebrity, but just casually catching up with an old friend from school. Texting every once in a while turned into chatting almost daily. Then the phone calls started. Late-night rambling, one of you always tired from the time zone difference. The first face time call was an accident – at least that's what Felix told you – but the second wasn't. And neither was the twentieth. You've lost count at this point.

The status of your relationship with Felix has been a mystery to you for the longest time. It was clear to you that that little fleeting crush you used to have had come back at ten times the intensity and you were pretty sure that Felix must at least enjoy talking to you enough to stay up way past the time where he should go to sleep at. But even with mutual feelings, there were more than enough stones in your way. Him being a celebrity and the several hour time difference plus living in different countries are probably some of the most obvious trials.

Let's just say it worked... somehow. Is still working. Even if it's tough sometimes. You've seen Felix a total of three times since making it official and all of these were just for a couple of days at most. There's always schedules he has to attend, filming to be done. Your schedules don't match up at all, he has so little free time that you have no other choice than to arrange yourself around it. Make amends. Compromise.

That's not really the problem here. The official part of the whole making it official is actually the root of all evil. Surprisingly enough Felix's company actually allowed him to make an official statement regarding his relationship status and confirming that he was indeed seeing someone. Of course, you were never mentioned by name. But someone somewhere must have taken a picture of you and him meeting up that one time. And someone else must have somehow identified you on that picture and shared your Instagram. And twitter. And pretty much any other public social media you had at that point. All of that within an hour of the announcement being made. You never openly confirmed or denied any "rumours" - or maybe accusations is the more fitting term here – about you and Felix dating. But you didn't have to. They knew enough to hate you for "stealing" him away from them. Of course, not all of them hate you. Some are actually supportive of the relationship. Though that's definitely only because they support Felix and want to see him happy, not because anyone really cares about your hurt feelings here. Then there's also a couple of fans that just ignore the whole thing entirely. According to them, it's all just rumours and there is no way that Felix is actually seeing someone. Don't you know he's a sweet gay baby, uwu? He's actually dating [insert whoever they ship him with here]. At least these comments can be kind of entertaining to read. Sometimes. You've scrolled past entire think pieces and page-long analysis of the smallest interactions turned into super definite proof that there is more going on between those two band members behind the scenes. They are delusional, but at least they are mostly harmless.

And then there are people who just straight-up hate you. And maybe that group is not actually as big as it seems but they are loud. So goddamn loud. And they are mean. You have switched accounts, gone private, deleted and remade. Everything in a desperate attempt to hide from the comments. But they always find you somehow. There is no escape.

A new notification pops up on your phone, you try not to look at it as you delete it but you catch enough of a glimpse to get the gist of it.

You're not good enough... you don't deserve to be with him... you should just do him a favour and break up, he's probably just to nice to do it himself.

It's always the same, you've read it hundreds of times, in every possible phrasing and variation. The bad thing though, you're starting to believe that they might actually be right.

The vlive is happening around noon in your time, which is at least kind of reasonable compared to other times that you have set an alarm to watch some kind of stream or award show or anything similar. You actually don't really want to watch, at least not for your own entertainment. Watching these things for yourself has kind of stopped working after... well yeah, after all that's going on. But you know that Felix would be happy, knowing that you are watching him. So maybe you'll tune in for a bit during your lunch break. Just long enough to take a screenshot and send it to him alongside a short text telling him that you are watching the live and that you really aren't mad. You aren't mad. Just scared.

You click the notification as soon as it appears on your phone. One of the few notifications you are actually happy to receive. The app takes a moment to load and by the time the stream is actually playing it's already flooded with viewers. But the picture is not moving. Or at least the three boys in the frame aren't moving. But you notice something in the background, maybe some kind of curtain, being moved by a breeze. Still, the trio keeps up their game for another few seconds until they all break out into wide grins and start talking. Felix is sitting in the middle, wedged in between Jisung and Hyunjin. The three of them are sitting behind a table that has various playthings scattered on the polished hardwood surface. You spot a box filled with Jenga pieces, next to a card game and a rubik’s cube. You take a couple of screenshots and tap out to send one of them to Felix, of course he won't see it right now but you want to prove that you were actually watching live. When you open the stream again they are already building up the Jenga tower while joking around with each other. Even though you didn't plan to stick around you watch them play games and talk for a while. It's nice. You can almost imagine yourself sitting in a room with them, laughing, cracking jokes and enjoying yourself. You can almost imagine being this close to Felix. Both physically close enough to be in a room with him as well as close enough for him to introduce you to his friends and be allowed to hang out with the group. It's almost in your reach. Almost perfect. Almost.

Felix is messing with the rubik’s cube, trying to solve it after he has insisted for minutes that he knows how it's done, Hyunjin is stopping the time on his phone while Jisung is going through the comments. You yourself haven't dared to take a look at them yet. Even here you aren't save. Most of the time they are flying by so fast that you can't even finish reading one before the next one jumps into vision.

Where is-

can you say hi to-

omg i-

notice me ple-

Most of it is short comments like this, some are just emojis (mostly every different kind of heart there is), wild key smashing and a plethora of "i love you"s in different languages. But some stick out. Some are different. The username is the first thing you notice about that one specific comment.

felix's_girlfriend

When you first made your account you thought about claiming that name for yourself. Just as a joke. But it was already taken. And so was felix's_wife, ilovefelix, freckleslover or any other possibility you could think of. Even when you started adding numbers to the names you couldn't get them. There are at least fifteen people using some variation on Felix's girlfriend as their username. You stopped trying after that.

Jisung probably spots the comment about at the same time as you did.

"Yo, someone with the username felix's_girlfriend just asked when you will finally do a dance cover of the latest Twice song", he says. Or at least something along the lines. You practised Korean to be able to at least get the gist of what's going on when they are talking, but you can't always understand everything. But you sure do understand the way Felix's head just whips up. Like that of a puppy delighted to see its owner coming back home.

"She's watching?", he asks. This time you understand clearly. Jisung looks back at him for a moment, a mixture of shock and surprise on his face. Felix isn't supposed to talk about you. Not here.

"It's just that person's username", he answers, after a moment of silence. Felix's bright smile drops for a moment, but then he nods his head and laughs as if someone just made an amazing joke. The boys continue talking about the Twice comeback and other promotions that are currently going on as if nothing happened. Hyunjin rambles about Got7 while Jisung jokes about how Seungmin is probably really excited about Day6. But the people in the comments are not willing to let go of what happened quite as easily.

I hope that bitch just disappears someone writes. Felix should break up with her, she's not good enough. You can't pretend to not notice it any longer. And maybe the boys noticed too, at least they don't read out any other comments after that one. But you don't really stick around for that long after. You are clearly not welcome here.

The thing is, that you never wanted to drag Felix into this mess. Of course, he is already a part of it, but you didn't want to let him see all of the ugly things that they are saying about you two. Well, in the end it's mostly you they are mad at. Some fans have commented that they are mad or disappointed that Felix would date someone, but they don't say the same things about him that they say about you. And you're glad. You wouldn't wish this on anyone. Especially not Felix, who is always so bright and full of love for his fans. You know that he loves that. He's said it numerous times. And even when he doesn't say it with words, it's obvious. He says it with the way he always smiles and waves at the camera, with all that he pours into performances, with the energy and passion he gives. He loves them.

Felix has never said the l-word to you.

Your phone rings about three hours later. You are hesitant to pick up when you see his name light up on the screen, but you don't want to lead him to believe that you are mad at him or anything.

"Hey there, why are you calling? Isn't it the middle of the night where you are?" You try to make your voice sound cheerful. Like you are a little surprised that he is calling you at that time but all in all happy that he is calling you. Confused, but a pleasant kind of surprise. You're probably not all that convincing, but maybe it's enough since this is just a phone call. Not even video this time.

"Ah, I just wanted to check in on you", Felix replies. His voice sounds a little bit drowsy. A soft kind of deep rumble. Bedroom voice, but not the sexy kind. The soft I'm about to curl up and fall asleep voice. You've heard that before, fell asleep to that soft voice talking to you over the phone. For a moment you almost crack. You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes, but you blink them away quickly.

"Oh, I'm fine, just got back home a while ago, going to make myself some food soon. How was your day, did that live go well?"

"Hmm, did you watch it?"

"Oh, just for a bit. I was... busy." Somehow you feel guilty saying it like that. Sure, you did only watch maybe about half of it. You told him in advance that you probably wouldn't watch the whole thing. But you have a feeling that there is a reason he is asking. And you are purposely avoiding it. Felix stays silent for a moment, maybe hesitant to bring it up himself. And for a moment you hope that he just won't. That you can both pretend that everything is alright and just joke around like usual. When he finally does speak his voice sounds so sad.

"There were some... not so nice comments about you. Did you see them?"

You consider lying but you don't see the point in it. He probably knows that you have seen them.

"Yeah."

"Do they often say things like that to you?"

"... yeah."

"That's... awful. I'm so sorry."

You take a deep breath. You really never wanted him to find out about how cruel the fans he loves so much can really get. Of course he knew that not everyone approved of him having a relationship and of course he's seen some of the gossip articles that the tabloids write about you. But what the fans say behind the protection of anonymity is so much worse than that.

"It's not your fault", you mutter finally. You can hear Felix take a deep breath as well.

"You don't- you don't believe what they say, do you? You know that I would never break up with you just like that. You are enough. More than I could ever ask for."

You aggressively blink your eyes a couple of times and tilt back your head. You don't want to cry. It always becomes obvious in your voice when you start crying and you really don't want to worry him any more.

"I know, but it's nice to hear. Thank you."

There's noises in the background. Some loud clatter, like dishes falling over and then several voices talking over each other. You haven't thought about it yet but Felix must be calling you from the dorm. There is the sound of a door being opened, a little noise of surprise and then it's being shut close again. Probably someone looking for Felix.

"You should probably hang up soon", you mumble. Not because you want him to, but because you know that the longer this goes on the harder it will be for you to not burst into tears.

"I guess. I'll call you again tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, I'd like that very much."

"Great then... good night."

"Goodnight."

"Hey, (y/n), I love you."

"I love you too, Felix."

[razorblade180]

Twin Snowflakes pt19: Skill, Sickness, and Skirts

Four hours into the day and no incident at school. So far so good, Summer thought to herself. It was pretty weird to be at school knowing Nick wasn’t around. The two never really saw much of each other anyways, but it was weird nonetheless. Summer sat quietly in the nurse's office with papers on her lap and a text book in her hand; the typical set up. Classroom temperatures and an abundance of not so nice peers made for a very dreadful school environment most days. It wasn’t all bad. Quiet time for most of the day was nice. Nobody or no one to bug her. Until the door swung open and Veronica disrupted the vibe.

“Yo Princess.” The girl said in a good mood. Veronica actually didn’t sound insufferable right from the jump. That nickname was still annoying though. “Do I have to pay you to use my name regularly?”

“I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, I don’t care about your money. It will never influence me. Eliza said I might find you in here. I thought she was joking but I should’ve known this is totally a thing you’d do.” Veronica looked around the sterile environment, devoid of anything interesting. “I’m supposed to be nice to you, but it’s shit like this that brings my opinion of you crashing down.”

“Whatever.” Summer groaned, rolling her eyes. “It’s not like it was high to begin with. Why are you even in here?”

Veronica took a seat on the bed next to her. She reached for one of those sticks nurses pressed down on people’s tongue and started scratching her nails along the edges. “For you obviously. I gotta be around a student council member and Eliza is taking a test. PE is your next class isn’t it?” The stick finally snapped from the friction. “Might as well try and be active and see the school. Being in one room all day is boring.”

Summer didn’t like anything she just heard. The worst class with Veronica? Why was life this cruel. She was a good girl, yet a trail came day after day to test her. “Umm you should rethink that. Valerie is in my class.Plus it can get annoyingly loud.” A cheap deterrent but Summer had to try something.

Veronica shrugged. “So? I’ll just stay away from that jock. Also I’m no stranger to crowds and microphones. That’s my life too, remember? I know how to adjust accordingly.

Summer frowned as she gathered her papers. “But-” Veronica put a finger over her lips to silence her. The girl slowly removed said finger and started putting Summer’s stuff away.

“We can make this suck, or we can make it tolerable. Let’s just both try not to step on each other’s toes and get through 90 minutes together, fair?” Veronica put Summer’s thing over the petite girl’s shoulder then got her on her feet. The slightly forceful push out the door made Summer yelp? “Why are we leaving now!?”

“Because I can phase us through the locker room door and get us changed before anybody shows up.”

“W...wait, you care about things like that? But you’re so….” Summer leaned further back to press against Veronica’s boobs. “Filled out.”

Veronica hit the girl on the head. Summer couldn’t help but notice the slight blush that appeared. “Don’t be so dense.” Veronica protested. “Just because I’m hot doesn’t mean I like stripping down to my underwear in front of others. And honestly, what’s with everyone and tits!?” She ranted, clearly passionate about the subject. “Nothing is fun about back pain. I also don’t need a bunch of entitled snobs staring at my ears and tails like I’m an exotic zoo animal. Changing early avoids most of that.”

“You eventually have to change again though.”

“I don’t have any classes so I’m not in a rush. I’ll just wait for everyone to leave or change someplace else.” Veronica looked at Summer annoyed. “Can you start actually walking or am I going to have to keep pushing?” Summer leaned forward and out of the way. She wasn’t expecting Veronica to hate changing almost as much as herself. They really did share a similar annoyance towards school. For different reasons of course. Kids looked at her scars and snickered. If Veronica felt like a zoo animal, then Summer felt like a freak show at a circus. That’s what those stares felt like anyways. Summer took Veronica by the hand and sped up.

Veronica jolted. Being grabbed like that was a pet peeve.“Hey! What’s with the pulling!?” Summer looked back at her and stuck her tongue out. “Don’t be pushy if you can’t take it. We’re gonna take a shortcut. It’s not like you really know where you’re going anyways.” Veronica mumbled under her breath. Admittedly she had this coming. Veronica had no choice but to listen.

xxxx

Back at home, Weiss was having her own set of problems in the form of her overzealous son. She had just walked in on him out of bed and reaching for his sword. Granted, he was looking leagues better than he was this morning, but that’s what medicine does! It didn’t mean he was actually better! Weiss put down the tray holding his lunch and medicine. “Am I going to have to get the black wig?” She crossed her arms and gave him the infamous mom look.

Nick gulped. Bleiss wasn’t a person to bargain with. “Let’s not be hasty hehehe.” His nervous laughter made his voice crack slightly. “I’m feeling so much better and staying in bed all day is boring, so I thought some light training…”

“That’s partly why you’re sick!” His mother exclaimed. “Your body needs proper rest.” Nick pumped his fist in the air and boasts, “My body has rested! I’m an Arc after all.”

Weiss remained unconvinced, giving him a look of judgement. Nick let out a defeated sigh. “Come on mom, I have to do something. I feel like I’m right at the cusp of a breakthrough. King of the Hill is mine this year, I can feel it.” Nick looked at his hands with excitement and frustration. He wiggled each finger before clenching his fist. “I just need to push a little more. Somehow.” He looked at his mother who was still judging him.

Weiss could tell he wasn’t bluffing, and neither was that video from the physical exam. What Nick did was beyond impressive and exceeded what she was doing at his age. It was also rocky as hell. There were multiple areas in his fighting style that needed severe ironing out. “It’s moments like these I think karma is playing with me. Winter had a difficult time reeling me in whenever I wanted to train too.” Weiss laughed a little, remembering those simpler times. They weren’t all fun and games but she cherished them wholeheartedly. “If you’re going to train then I’m going to be overseeing it and you’ll follow my rules.”

Nick’s eyes lit up like fireworks. “Seriously, the two of us!? Aren’t you busy?” Weiss shook her head. “I’m here taking care of you aren’t I? If we’re doing this then you should know swordplay isn’t the focus. You sir need to pay more attention to glyphs.” She pointed at him in shock. “I can’t have a son of mine slack off in a technique that’s built into his very DNA.”

It stung a bit to hear that but that’s because she wasn’t wrong. Nick knew compared to everyone else his glyphs were lackluster, especially to Summer. Her combinations and skill made him think she was constantly going through dust ratios in her head like an encyclopedia. “Well then, that took the wind out of my sails.” He slumped over.

“Practice makes perfect. Meet me in the garden in half an hour. Eat and take your meds before then.Also wear something warm.” Weiss said as she left.

“Yes ma’am.” Nicholas flopped onto his bed. At least it was better than doing nothing at all.

Thirty minutes went by in no time at all. Nicholas approached his mother wearing warmer clothes than his pajamas. He had chosen to wear some sleeping thermals over lounging sweatpants while his upper body was warmed by a thick gray hoodie. Normally the cold wasn’t a problem, but being sick made things a little harsher. The two stood on one of the four walkways that made the giant square garden. In the middle was a decently sized hedge maze that was surrounded by tea tables and various kinds of foliage. Apparently this was his grandmother’s favorite spot. Tea wasn’t her beverage of choice though. If it was then maybe she wouldn’t have drunken herself to an early grave.

Nick shook away the depressing thoughts. Weiss was doing the same by the way she briefly zoned out until Nick moved. He clapped his hands together. “So, what’s on the agenda?”

“Your video tells a lot about you. Constructing swords is a skill you don’t need to work on. It’s clear you got that down.”

Nick smiled proudly. “I didn’t get the nickname Gilgamesh for nothing.”

“That name also tells everyone just how bad you are at long distance and anything that isn’t directly connected to swordplay.” Weiss pointed out.

His smile turned sheepish, the pride snuffed out. “So I’m guessing that’s today’s lesson?”

“You’re half right.” Weiss grabbed his blade, Mort Froide, and placed it in his left hand. She was lucky her son was ambidextrous. His passion for dual wielding was to thank for that. She positioned his left foot forward and his right foot back; adding a slight bend to his left leg. “We’re going to put your body in positions that are normally opposite to what you’re used to. Do you know why?”

“Versatility? That way I can do sword and semblance skills with either hand?”

“Not only that, but to strengthen them and let you feel the difference in performance. Naturally you’re right handed, which means casting glyphs and swordplay is inherently going to be better on that side. Casting glyphs for you usually involves your left. It’s made it well trained, but it also means you’re rarely performing them as strong as you could be. Make a wall with your right and then with your left.”

Nick extended his middle and pointer finger while flicking his wrist up. A generic glyph formed in front of them in a second that was wide enough to cover both of them. He switched to his left to try the same. The delay was about a second longer and half of Weiss’s body was exposed. Not only that, the glyph looked slightly dimmer. He had never noticed the difference.

“Woah….who knew?”

“Your sister.” Weiss jabbed at him. “Not only is the size and speed different, but I guarantee that right handed casting can take and deal more damage. A helpful tip for Valerie. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a subconscious amount of effort and aura going more into the left one too, but you’ve done it for so long that I doubt the difference is hindering you. Just something to keep in mind.”

Weiss pulled out Myrtenaster and slipped in lightning dust. “Our swords, like any other weapon, are conduits for our aura. Using our semblance with them is second nature and having both hands to perform glyphs by having them on the sword provides more power behind it. It’s not always viable unfortunately.”

“I know. Making the quantity and quality of swords around me helps when I do the stance you taught me. The one where you kneel and stab into the ground.” He twirled his sword once before taking a knee, piercing the ground as a demonstration. “I have the fundamentals understood. It’s the concentration I’m lacking I guess.”

Weiss agreed. “Believe me, it’s challenging. You can get to the level of focus, but you take too long to reach that point. Which brings us back to our lesson today. She handed him vials of lightning and fire dust. “You’re going to practice a practical technique, and an impractical one. The first one is time dilation.” Weiss could see her son’s face turn to despair, making her laugh. “Haha don’t worry, I’ll help you through it.”

“Mom we’ve been down this road before. It ended with me constantly getting shocked. I didn’t even pull it off.”

Weiss remembered that day. Nick couldn’t touch anything with static cling for hours. “Hey you’re a little older now. Asking that much of you was definitely on me. If you can learn to use it, then your swordplay automatically becomes better. Quick attacks are already your forte. Having this without Summer’s help will elevate you. Especially if you’re dual wielding.”

Nick couldn’t deny any of that. Time dilation was a move that would be perfect. Too bad he sucked! It was one of the few things he had no progress in. It was essentially the beginning of deep diving of advanced glyphs. “What’s the second lesson?”

Weiss pointed to the maze. “The infamous candle test!” She said b like an announcer almost.

It was one rough reveal after another. “No! I’m going to burn everything!” Nick wasn’t being a defeatist, but realistic.

The candle test was the epitome of a fire hazard. It was a difficult way of working on control and concentration to an obsessive degree. The objective was to light the candles set up on the inside of the maze as fast as possible by using their semblance. At novice level, a person goes through the maze lighting them one by one. That way control was the main focus. A step above that is to stand in the center and send tiny embers to each candle. That requires more concentration on directing the fire while controlling the output from the very start. A level beyond that was to do it from the balcony. That way you can see all the candles, but now you have wind to worry about. The flames needed to be strong enough to reach the candle while being perfectly on course so plants burn. Finally, there was lighting all the candles from the ground level from the outside of the maze. Nick could only get through the first two levels. Summer does the fourth option for fun…

“Mom, there’s no way you’re expecting me to do option four well, right?” He cautioned. “You’ll be putting out a lot of fires.”

“That’s fine. That’s what practice is all about. Repetition will make it easier because I’ll keep the candles in the same area I always do. Even if you get marginally better at this, then you’ve progressed more than you will realize.” Weiss rested her hand on Nick's shoulder. It was relieving to know that her child could still act his age. She probably shouldn’t be happy to see him nervous, but she was. “Think of it like this. Let’s say you can get past level three of the candle test in about three minutes. A level of control and concentration that swift will make everything you can already do faster.” Weiss put her sword down and held her hand palm up. A glyph suddenly formed then burst into a flash of light.

Nick closed his eyes briefly. Only to open them again to see a Sphinx the size of himself standing next to his mother.

“It’ll also bring you steps closer to everything you can’t do yet.” Weiss petted her creation. “That thing you did with your gigas is really impressive. It would be a tragedy if you couldn’t pull it off in intense, solo combat.”

Now he was fired up. He still wasn’t entirely sure how he pulled off what he did during the fight with the Paladin, but he did know that it would be a game changer if he could call upon it at will. If he could even be a fourth of what he was that day then he’d have a useful crutch. If getting to that point meant doing what he was bad at, then there was no time for whining. Nick placed a vial of lightning dust into the hilt of Mort Froide. “Let’s get to work then! Valerie won’t know what hit her!”

xxxx

“Why am I so bad at this!” Nicholas shouted off of the balcony. He had been doing the candle test for about two hours now. Time dilation was tricky but the basis of it was something Nick had the hang of, so they switched gears to this. A thing he couldn’t handle even if he had extra arms.

Weiss finished putting out the flames on the slightest burnt maze. At least it was warm enough outside to not need a coat. Both of them had switched to tank tops. “Give it one more good try, then we’ll take another break.” She encouraged enthusiastically. “Don’t worry about speed right now. Focus on concentration and control.”

“Okay…” Nick took a deep breath and got back into position. This time with his sword in his right hand. He raised it to the sky to make a fire glyph then brought it down in front of him.

“Might want to angle it a little higher. Have it arch through the air.” Nick followed hire instructions accordingly. He had twelve candles he needed to light . All in separate spots. The middle of the glowed brighter as a flame ignited. It grew more and more in size before the flame wrapped around itself to make a fireball. Concentration. Nick pulled his sword back and assessed his targets. He split the fireball into twelve smaller ones that went to the edge of the glyph like a clock face. This was control.

Beads of sweat ran down his from the heat and training, that was more rigorous than he thought it would be. “Aim and….” Nick thrusts his blade forward to send them flying. All twelve were on track this time thanks to Weiss’s advice, but only eight of them landed on their targets sadly. The other four fizzled out half way there. The boy groaned, irritated with his progress. Weiss could understand that. Between her family and Jaune, there wasn’t a soul around who didn’t strive for perfection in training.Nick went to raid his sword again but it was quickly pushed down by Weiss’s.

“Uh uh, break time.” She tossed him a towel for him to wipe his face, and screamed if he needed to. She did i that sometimes in moments like these. On the bright side, nothing was on fire that shouldn’t be. “I know this won’t mean much coming from your mom and all, but I think you’re doing pretty well.”

“What are you talking about?” Nick said, wiping his face clean of sweat and ash. “That means a lot. You’re the best at this mom.” He smiled which made Weiss smile. “Maybe I can ask Summer for insight when she gets home.”

“While you’re at it you should probably ask for singing practice with her since she talked you into a duet.”

Nick shuddered at the thought. “Ugh, don’t remind me. I’m not well enough to deal with the critiques of an idol that loves the stage more than breathing.” Summer was a nice girl most of the time. Not to mention reserved, but that changed drastically when it came to singing, Veronica, Shiva, and the heat of battle. Maybe it had something to do with adrenaline? She did enjoy snowboarding after all. “I think I’ll practice singing with you instead. It’ll be less trouble.”

“You’re just afraid of greatness.” Called out at Sumner from behind them. Her folks turned around in shock to see her standing there. “What? Lose track of time? Schools over.” Her attention was brought to her tired twin. Summer did not expect him to be training on a sick day, nor did it make her feel good about how she spent her time. Yet again, Nick was slowly widening the gap between them. This time it was in something she was good at. “How many candles?” She asked, mainly to boost her own ego.

“Eight. Not nearly as good as you.” He said in earnest. “Mind showing me how it’s done?” Weiss handed Summer her sword hilt first.

Great, now she felt a little guilty. Here she was happy to have a leg up on him and he praised her without reason. Summer grabbed her mother’s sword. “No offense Nick, but I can’t put how to do this into words. I just...get it.” She peeked over the edge to see the candles, then stepped back far enough to not see them at all. A fire glyph formed in front of her and with a flick of her wrist, one huge fireball shot up into the sky. It reached over the middle of the maze before bursting into twelve flames that landed right on the candle. Summer gave back her mother’s sword and walked away feeling accomplished. “Just keep at it!” She shouted.

Nick grabbed the tip of his towel and grunted into it. “No effort at all. It’s like she waved it like wand and the rest worked itself out.”

“I hope you know that you don’t have to reach that level of fluidity? Summer has a knack for glyphs the same way you have one for swordplay. Not that either of you are particularly bad at either if I do say so myself.”

“Hard to say that after today.” Nick mumbled, looking at the lit candles. “Hey? If Summer is so good at this then why can’t she summon more than a limb or two?”

“Well to put it simply, summoning requires a lot more than skill. Passion, need, you gotta put your all into it. You’ve done it before. Both of you did at the exam. What were you feeling?”

“Good question.” He sat down and crossed his arms, reflecting on the moment. “Desperate? I stopped thinking about myself and the test for a moment. All I wanted to do was make sure Valerie and Summer were safe, then poof. Next think I know I’m in armor.”

“Anything else?” Weiss was intrigued. She must’ve rewatched the final five minutes of that video at least a dozen times by now.

“Well after they were safe I wanted to end the fight as fast as possible. Huh, I wanted to win no matter what. Then I blacked out.”

Weiss has done that before. She couldn’t count how many times it’s been her vs a grimm that had hurt a teammate and all she wanted to do was strike it down. “I want you to keep that feeling in mind for awhile. Try and understand those emotions so you can use them whenever.”

“I’ll try. Who knows, maybe one day I can win a match against you.”

“Ha! Graduate from an academy first and become a pro first.” Weiss ruffled her child’s wild hair, making him laugh. “Don’t expect me to hold back either. You’re getting everything. From dragons to behemoths!”

The two kept laughing and enjoying their time together that they didn’t even notice Veronica had entered the room. A piece of her didn’t want to interrupt. Not just before seeing Nick laugh was pretty freaking adorable, but because both of them were way more in shape than she realized. Nick was still growing so that made sense, but Weiss!? Veronica wasn’t sure if she paid attention to Weiss’s arms but. They were cut! No wonder her own parents gush over her. It was hard to believe she pushed out twins. Veronica also took note of the lingering embers and fire dust in the air that surrounded the mother and sun. She’ll try to remember it for her fire and ice clothing design. Could be useful.

Veronica finally spoke up. “I take it you’re feeling better?” Her voice finally catches their attention.

Both of them look at her then gasp. Veronica stood before them wearing a white and blue cheerleader outfit. The skirt altered colors while the half shirt was white with blue stitches and Nick’s school name on the chest. The girl swayed side to side with pompoms in her hands. A smug smile spread on her face as her ears and tail bounced to her little dance.

“Sup!” Veronica sang, enjoying the reaction. Weiss and Nick looked at each other, then back at her. “I was gone for a day!” Nick exclaimed. “How did all of this happen?”

Veronica snickered, thinking about gym class. “I’ll tell you about it later.” She spun around for fun.

“Having fun?” Weiss smiled. “I guess today wasn’t like yesterday?”

“Nope!” Veronica cheered. “Are you feeling better? I can tell your breathing is still a little shaky and your heart rate is off.”

Weiss went back into mom mode. “Nick, are you still exhaust- uhh Nick?” The boy didn’t respond. He had spaced out watching Veronica. It took a minute to realize but the moment Veronica noticed that his gaze was on the swaying skirt and torso, her face got a little more smug. Not to mention red. Weiss bopped her son in the head to snap him back to reality. “Whatcha looking at?” She said with a smirk.

Nick’s brain finally started working again and noticed the faces staring at him. He immediately turned red and looked at the ground. “Sorry, I totally didn’t mean to...ya know.” Their laughter only made him redder.

“Well what do you know? The knightly prince is just like any other high school boy. Honestly if it weren’t for Valerie I’d assume you swing the other way sometimes.” Veronica joked, catching Nick off guard.

“Hey! Who would think that?”

Weiss rubbed her chin. “You do complain and avoid so many other girls.”

“Don’t agree with her! You did the same with rich boys!” He countered. Nick then remembered his mother had told him that she’s flirted with her own teammates countless times. “Actually...forget what I just said.”

“Yeah you were about to set yourself up.” If Weiss had her black wig then she wouldn’t think twice of letting certain escapades with Yang and Blake slip. Just for a good laugh. “Seriously, you okay?”

“Totally, can we keep going? I wanna try just a little longer.”

Veronica spoke up again. “Actually I was hoping to steal you away for awhile. I still need actual measurements for your clothes. If that’s not a problem. Summer already did hers.” She added for extra effect.

Weiss thought that was a good day. “I don’t mind cutting the lesson short soon. Give him like another twenty minutes. In the meantime you can unwind for school.” Veronica’s eyes got big. “Okay!” She did a backflip and phased through the floor where she should’ve landed. Suddenly it made sense how she might’ve been put on the team. Harriet lives for flare. A confident gymnast that always lands on her feet and is pretty well known would add to the tournament festivities while potentially beating out the school cheer teams.

“That woman really likes winning.” Nick thought to himself. “Alright, back to the grindstone!” He stood up with renewed vigor. Or whatever you would call a second win whenever you had a cold. He had twenty minutes so he was going to make them count. “That outfit would go to waste if I lose. Can’t have that.” There was something about the way he thought that made Weiss happy. He might be her child, but phrases like that were very Ruby like. He was just so sweet and turning into a fine young man. She couldn’t help but wrap her arms around him and hold him close. “I love you so much.”

Nick’s face was turning red again as he hugged his mother. In truth he could spend the remainder of training time like this in complete satisfaction. “I love you too.”

xxxx

Across the manor, Yang was paying her daughter a visit. Or least she intended to, but somehow she wound up peeking through the crack door of Vee’s room as the girl admires herself in the cheerleader uniform; doing generic poses and the occasional giggle. That came to an end however when Yang was caught in the mirror reflection with a cheeky smile on her face.

“Gah! Ma!!” Veronica said flustered beyond belief. Yang could only let out a hardy laugh as she entered the room. “Sorry not sorry, I couldn’t resist.” She said, hugging her embarrassed daughter. Yang was actually surprised Veronica let her hug her on the first try. Usually Yang’s arms would pass right through her.

“Well well well, somebody is in a good mood, and for obvious reasons.” Yang tugged at the uniform. “And you said nothing good would come out of school.”

Veronica playfully rolled her eyes. “Okay fine, today was pretty alright. Happy now?”

“I’m happy you’re happy.” Yang kissed her cheek and stared into the mirror with her. “We didn’t talk much after you came home yesterday or this morning. Holding up? Careful not to eat too much meat.Not that I mind, but you’ll be upset with yourself if you do.”

“Yeah I know. I’ve been pacing myself today. I’ll probably have a salad or something for dinner. Haven’t figured it out.”

Yang took it upon herself to sit at the edge of Veronica’s bed while her daughter started putting school stuff away. “You know I bet Nick would find it interesting to see the difference between starved and apex.”

The comment made Veronica cringe. She wouldn’t know how to feel if anyone saw her like that again, let alone Nick. “Let’s not test that theory. Acting like that in Atlas of all places wouldn’t do well for human and faunus relations. Speaking of which…” She pulled out her scroll and tossed it to Yang with a tab of herself on it.

Yang read the headline. “Menagerie’s Favorite Daughter Spotted in Atlas.” The picture itself wasn’t recent. It was Veronica on top of a car with a megaphone during one of many protests. Yang liked this picture a lot. Veronica had a fist raised in the air as people chanted with her and waved signs against an intense sunset. She looked powerful. “I guess they know now. Not that they wouldn’t with all the help you’re providing for the twins.”

“That’s true. I just don’t want people hassling me. I’m here to do my own thing, focus on my designs. Spend time with Nick…” she mumbled that last part. Yang heard it anyways. You would think a faunus with amazing hearing would know how to whisper. “How much does Nick know about your situation?” She asked.

“Are you referring to my physical situation, or my social one?” She hated that she had to clarify. Technically Veronica could think of three, but mentioning the third one would be a long conversation she didn’t want to have with anyone. She had it handled anyways. “Socially, I haven’t said anything much. Physically, I clarified things you told him behind my back.”

Yang had managed to forget about the part where she did that. “Oh yeah? I guess that’s a decent amount.”

“Not even going to deny that last part?”

“Nope!” Yang put her hands behind her head and walked around a bit. This always helped her think. “I’m not gonna apologize either for being concerned either. My options were your crush or the girl you’ve argued with since you were four. You don’t confide in me with everything and gods know that I couldn’t ask you to tell someone. You’d throw a fit!”

To say her options were limited was an understatement. Veronica could see that. It still felt invasive.Then again, that’s what parents are. “Point taken, even if I don’t like it.”

“Glad you can see it my way. Letting Summer know would be nice too. Friends knowing your struggles can be therapeutic.”

“We’re not friends.” Veronica aggressively stated, a slight amount of attitude came. “Being friends with a girl like her would only piss me off. I’ll be civil and nothing more!” She scoffed. Yang threw up her arms in jest. “If that’s what you want. I suppose I’ll settle for Nick knowing.” A devious thought came into her mind. “Better hope he doesn’t ask about heat.” Yang wasted no time bolting out of the room as Veronica got a deep blush and started shouting, her mind flustered.

“He doesn’t have to know about that! And you better not bring it up!!” That conversation didn’t have to exist. Those answers will be kept to herself even if it meant gluing her mouth shut. After that remark, Veronica desperately needed to cool off. Time for a shower.

xxxx

Turns out twenty minutes wasn’t that much time for Nick to make any further improvements. Disappointed, he walked down the hallway towards Veronica. He hadn’t been in that room since she showed up. He assumed it had to look like a boutique by now. Nick turned the counter and bumped into his sister unexpectedly on the way there. Summer had ditched the uniform in favor of an oversized ‘Boop!” shirt and sweatpants. Her studio headphones hung around her neck while her hands held two journals and a pencil. Nick knew this attire. Summer was in what he called, ‘Lyrical Mode.’

“Writing a new song?” He tried to peek at the journals but Summer pulled them closer to her chest. “Yes, and so much more.” She stated defensively. “Oscar thought I should try expressing more of my, let’s say inner feelings. I’m not really sure how it will be received though when it’s done. Piecing it together lyrically has been rough.” Summer looked down to read what she had and sighed. “Fortunately this one is more for me. Tournament wise I have a few ideas of previous covers people might like.”

Nick could tell Summer was deep in thought about this. She wouldn’t win awards if her choices in music weren't meticulously planned. “Well if anyone can pull off this halftime show and make it amazing, it’s you. But I hope you remember that we’re still in the tournament; can’t burn before our matches.” He reminded her as he chuckled nervously.

Summer pursed her lips and studied that chuckle. “Don’t worry, I won’t wear you down. Just get healthy and work on relaxing your jaw when you hold a note.” Summer patted his shoulder and went on her way. “Dad and I will be in the music room.”

“Hold on!” Nick shouted. “How did Veronica get a cheerleader uniform?”

Summer laughed. “Haha! I’m sure she’ll want to tell the story.” Now Nick was even more interested and sped off to the room. Summer stopped and turned around. “Wait, Veronica just got out of-” Summer didn’t speak fast enough.

Nick didn’t stop to think about knocking first. He simply walked in on Veronica wearing a shirt, only a shirt. If Nick thought the skirt was distracting then this was a full blown diversion. The purple shirt stopped right around her thighs and showed off her toned legs. Any movement could easily start showing a bit too much. The two teens said nothing; they just stared right at each other in shock. Nick slowly backed away while closing the door, then started walking away.

Summer shook her head at her idiot brother. “I know it’s our house but how’d you forget to knock?” She didn’t get an answer. He waved her off in embarrassment of his foolish screw up.

Veronica came running out of the room, black shorts appropriately around her person. “Wait!” she got down all fours and pounced once across the hallway, diving right through Nick and blocking his path. His blush was as red as her own. “I walk around like that at home, but I’m not home, so… oops.”

Nick couldn’t believe it. Why was she apologizing!? “No no, that uhh, that one’s on me.” He stuttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “Knocking was invented for a reason. Sorry.”

“It’s cool. Well I mean it’s not cool! But you know I uhh...it’s not like I’m…” Veronica had no idea what she was saying. “Mad, I’m not mad” her tail pointed back to her room. “Anyways, ready?”

“Y-Yeah hehe.” Step by step they eventually made their way through the hall again at a good pace. Summer could only write in her other journal, then one made for her feelings.

“Journal entry number 117: Some days it feels like I’m the least awkward person in the room. A very staggering feat to say the least.”

Part 18

[chloe-clegane]

My Devotion and Mah Protection, Our Love - Chapter 4

The Procession 

Summary - It’s Royal Announcement day!

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AO3

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First thing the next morning Opeli sent word that there would be a royal announcement in the castle courtyard that afternoon. Ethari had arrived and the councilwoman wanted no delay.

Sitting on the tower parapet, Rayla could already see people starting to gather despite the announcement still being hours away. She heard Callum approach from behind but didn’t turn to greet him, she was too preoccupied with her angst.

He spoke her thoughts aloud. “You’re nervous, you’ve never been in public like this. You have no idea what you're doing and you’re terrified you’ll mess it all up somehow.”

“Shut up” she snapped.

“Am I wrong?” He asked, chuckling as he leaned his back against the wall. She nodded in reply and he went on, “You know that’s weird?”

“Hmmm?” Her attention was back on the courtyard, kicking her dangling feet.

“I think my mom must have felt the same way when she was in your shoes.” Rayla looked at him, this got her attention.

Queen Sarai had been a common topic lately and the more Rayla learned about her the more curious she got. Other than her hostility over deserts Rayla’d never heard a bad word about her. Imagining her as insecure was a completely new layer. Callum continued “She came from a military family but wasn’t in all of this.” he gestured out at the courtyard and castle, “When she married my step-dad this was a completely new world... I mean, me too, but I was just a little kid. They told me what to do and I learned it. It’s easy when you’re young.” He let out a big sigh. “I’ve never really thought about her side of it before now… seeing you… I don’t know” He smiled sweetly, but now it was his turn to look out pensively.

“I guess It hadn’t occurred tae me that you and yer mum were normal people. I knew about the step-prince thing but never put much thought in’tae it. Makes sense, the warrior queen thing and all.”

“Yeah but that’s the thing, to me she was always just my mom, she was warm and loving. I would see her train with her spear and advise my step-dad in court and stuff… she still wasn’t a queen or a fighter. Just the person who loved me, who played with me and kissed me goodnight.” His thoughtful face broke with a small smile “You know, I think I was the only person she would ever share a dessert with.” he signed “Parents seem like these perfect beings growing up. My step-dad, I had long enough to see him as a flawed man. I wonder what knowing her as an adult would be like.” Rayla bent over and kissed the top of his head.

“It’s different fer me but I understand what you mean. I was left with Runnan and Ethari and my parents lived away from me. I would only see them when they were on leave from the dragon guard... Always muh birthday. I have so many questions but now they’re really gone and I’ll probably never see them again.”

“Hey, you don’t know that” he was comforting “Those coins are out there somewhere, we just have to find them”

“Yeah….” the mood had really taken a turn and it was supposed to be a day to celebrate. “You know what's really weird?” she grinned at him.

“Tell me.” he rested an elbow on the wall and looked up at her.

“We’re adults now, like you said. Parents and adulthood, It used to feel so far away, but here we are. And we’re doin’ adulty things.” She reached out to take his hand and he gave it. “We’re gettin’ married, like real grown ups!”

He laughed and smiled wide at her “You know you’re right, we’re adulting so hard right now”.

Holding his hand she jumped down from the wall and kissed him, taking an extra minute to hold him close before she pulled away. “So excited I get tae do all this with you. But , I’m still completely terrified to parade around like a fancy royal person, hoping people don’ get mad I’m an elf.”

“Rayla, you’re going to be fine. We’ll walk around and people will see you as a wonderful, funny and amazing person. Not some stranger, they’ll see you .” She offered him a weak smile. “You’re going to do great. I promise.” He pulled her in to kiss her again but they were interrupted.

A guard jogged up to them panting and gasping, “I found you!” Gasp “Tailor and maids” wheeze “Said they need you” huff “Been looking everywhere”

Callum looked guilty “Uuhhh sorry we were so hard to find. Are you going to be ok?”

“Oh no, don’t worry about me. You just need to go find the royal tailors for a final fitting or something, and some maids are waiting to get you done up” He pointed at Rayla and she felt icey dread grip her.

“Well great!” Callum kissed her quickly and moved to go.

She grabbed his wrist and stopped him hissing. “You said nothin’ about makeovers”.

He smiled apologetically “How was I supposed to know?” She continued to glare “I love you?” he tried before pecking her on the cheek before fleeing to catch up with the guard. Rayla groaned and followed.

The first thing they did was shove her into the dress. She had a few moments to admire it while they pinned the last of the hem. It seems that the dressmaker had tried to approximate the elven style. It was somewhere between the layered robes of Katolis and the tight fitting clothing she’s used to. Tight at the waist with bare shoulders, but billowy sleeves to the elbow. It was more round and less angled than the usual human apparel. But it was clearly Katolian red and gold. They had taken her measurements the day Callum and she arrived so the garment fit well and she felt really... ok. They hurried away as quick as they’d come, leaving Rayla in the underdress.

Next she was sat down, they powdered her face and colored her lips a little and her hair was poked and prodded, she could tell the woman was afraid to touch her horns. The first attempt was a disaster. They were about to start again when there was a knock at the door. It opened and Ethari walked in. Luckily in his frantic worry that he would miss the wedding, he had packed a formal outfit. He looked really nice.

“ah was told you’d be in here gettin’ ready.” He took one look at the frustrated woman unpinning the awkward updo and tried to step in “It looks like maybe ah could be of some help. Dae you mind?”

The woman looked skeptical. “This is a formal occasion are you able-?”

“ Yes! ” Rayla was a bit too eager

He laughed and smiled kindly “Yes, I am able to do something appropriate. I’ve been doing her hair most of her life, I’m very capable.”

The woman didn’t argue, in fact she looked relieved. She exercised herself and left the box of tools behind.  

“Thank you Ethari! You rescued me in the nick of time.” she was relieved.  

“ah know this stuff isn’t yer favorite. The state I found you in was about what ah expected.” he chuckled. And picked up the brush to start working. “Yer nervous.” It wasn’t a question.

“We’ll o’course I am!” he nodded “I’m about tae be paraded around like a prize moonstrider! Or worse, a freak. Everyone keeps telling me it will be great...” She grumbled.

His hand wove the braids as he spoke. “Ah think it’s valid tae be afraid that people will judge. Ah worry about it too. But don’ be worried you’ll embarrass yerself.”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes “yeah because I never make an awkward fool of muhself”  

His smile was somewhere between sympathetic and encouraging. “From what that woman, Opeli? Told me, it won’ just be walkin’ around lookin’ pretty You’ll be speakin’ with people, letting them see you aren’t some foreign stranger. You’re showing people that you’re a real person, nothin’ tae be afraid of. And Rayla, yer a wonderful young woman, try tae be confident. Yer marryin’ into royalty, it’s ah big deal”

“Yeah, but isn’t that weird? Like I’m better than them because I happen tae love some prince?” She felt so uncomfortable with that idea.

“Yer missing the point still, yer showin’ them yer normal, not better. And you just happen tae be an elf and you just happen tae love their prince. Otherwise, yer just like them” He finished her hair and squeezed her shoulders. “Just be yerself… except smile… smile much, much, more.” He chuckled and she elbowed him.

She turned her head in the mirror to admire the braided updo. Her Uncle had created two braids on the front of her face. Then three that met at her neck to cradle a bun. He also added a few silk ribbons to her horns in place of actual Moonshadow style jewelry. She placed one of her hands over his on her shoulder. Rayla liked the end result, it looked nice. “Thank you Ethari… fer the hair and the pep talk. I feel… pretty.”

“You look beautiful and so grown up” He sighed and kissed the top of her head. She thought about what he said. She did look older, elegant, and just maybe, beautiful. It was like looking at a new version of herself.

They ended up discussing her jewelry for the wedding when the door opened, the maid entered with the dress and when Ethari left they started buttoning her in. She hadn’t been dressed by anyone since he was 5. She tried to hide just how uncomfortable she felt.

The visitors just kept coming. Opeli appeared as the maids finished and left. “Rayla, you look lovely.” She smiled kindly, “may I speak with you?”

“uh yeah o’course” The head adviser took a seat across from her on the edge of the bed. She felt like she had just been called into the headmaster’s office.

“I know Callum has told you some of the expectations for today, greeting the people-”

“Yeah, yeah” She waved off the woman's repeat instructions and nodded emphatically.

“So, I want to handle this delicately.” Raylla’s mind went to the pregnancy questions and she felt her eye start twitching. The woman continued. “There will be some who... oppose this match. The alliance with the elfs is still very new and there are those who will discriminate and even be angered by the very idea of this relationship. I was informed about an incident with a rock...”

“Yeah I know we kind of assumed these things would happen. But it’s fine I can take care of mahself, and Callum.”

“But that’s the thing Rayla. There are a lot of people who fear elves, especially former Moonshadow assassins. We would like you to go unarmed today. It’s imperative that you seem...  nonthreatening ”

“But you just said-”

“If something were to happen we want you to allow us to take care of it, Amaya and Soren will be there as well as other guards. I’ve already spoken with Callum about not using his magic as well.”

Rayla felt some anger make its way into her voice “So what? You want me tae be some damsel? Do I hav’ta be helpless and sWoOn? I can fight muh own battles!”

“Rayla” Opeli spoke calmly and cautiously. “Please, that’s not what I’m saying at all. We all know you’re capable. The point is that this will be people’s first impression of you. The last thing we want is to give any reason to fear or distrust. We want them to see elves and humans can live in harmony. Do you understand?” Rayla didn’t like it but she understood it.

“Fine. But I still want muh blades closeby. I’ll have Soren carry them for me.”

“That’s a great compromise” Opeli smiled “Thank you” She got up to leave but Rayla stopped her.

“Opeli, before you go, can I have some money?”

Opeli looked surprised by the request and blinked a few times. “Well, I uhh, don’t see why not. There is an allowance that Callum receives from the treasury… Is it a large amount?” She sounded very un-easy and Rayla realized how out of place this must seem.

Is asking for money a weird thing to do? Was this rude? She wondered. “Uhhhh I don’ know what large would be. I want to get Callum a gift.” Opeli’s face relaxed and she smiled. Rayla liked Opeli, she was a prudent and trustworthy adviser to Ezran. And below the hard political exterior she was good-hearted. Rayla could understand the hesitance to hand money out willy nilly.

“Yes, Rayla this is something I can help you with. Assuming it’s not too extravagant. What did you have in mind? I can probably help you acquire anything that can’t be found in town.”

“It’s just-I wanted tae get him another sketchbook, special, from me. I want tae pick it out.”

The woman smiled warmly “That will be no trouble. When you do go to town look for an orange sign with a blue paintbrush. I can probably get the coins now. We’ll be meeting in the main entrance in about 20 minutes so be ready” She got up to leave and turned back with a smile “by the way I think he’ll love that.”  

Finally, her and Callum met in the hallway. They had cut his hair leaving it longer on top and trimmed close on the sides. It was like a softer version of Soren’s, the lines more blended. The front still hung over his forehead but was swooped to the side to show the circlet, she didn’t know he owned. It was similar to Ezran’s except the ends representing the two towers only extended up. She’s never seen him in such a formal setting. His clothing was very standard Katolian, a fitted jacket over trousers. It was made with the same fabrics as her dress, they matched up nicely.

“You Clean up well... fer a human”. She jabbed.

He didn’t take her teasing bait at all. “You’re absolutely stunning and I have no idea what I did to trick you into spending the rest of your life with me” he said it matter of factly.

She laughed and kissed him. “You don’ think it’s ah little much? I feel… ornamental ”

“You aren’t alone, they cut my hair and put me in a tiara!” he complained and pointed “I don’t think I’ve ever been this dressed up in my life.” He pulled at his stiff collar.

Rayla took comfort in his shared feeling of exploitation. She appreciated the goal; be the first union of an elf and human. Show the world that love and understanding can overcome prejudice and hatred. Blah Blah.

“I really like yer hair” She ran her fingers through it and felt a little blush creep onto her face. She’ll never get tired of his handsome face.

“Well good, guess it’s not so bad then” He held her face and leaned in to kiss her when they heard Soren clear his throat, interrupting their flirtation.  

“Ok love birds, I know you like being cute and shit but it’s almost go-time.” he put his hand out to Rayla “Gimmie the blades, Opeli told me to hold onto them”

Rayla clutched the belt and holstered weapons to her chest “I swear Soren, if anythin’ happens to these I will fillet you with a bread knife”

“Ew, rude. I pinky promise I’ll take good care of your babies. Now come on.”

She handed them over begrudgingly and he attached the belt to his. While Callum was distracted she whispered a plan to Soren.    

Opeli came and complemented the elegant couple and ran them through the instructions again . Rayla felt the acid returning to her stomach as the reality of following said instructions began to hit her. Before Opeli left she slipped Rayla a small pouch of coins as promised. Callum noticed as she tucked it away but she shot him a look that said mind your own business.  

They lined up in front of the large main doors and were herded into position. Even Ethari was included in the retinue, he still looked incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. But when they made eye contact he gave her an encouraging smile. As the guards reached for the doors Callum squeezed her hand, they shared a nervous smile and one more deep breath. The doors swung open. The crowd began clapping for their king eager to hear the surprise proclamation.

Ezran walked ahead of them onto the balcony, waving and smiling. The couple stood a few feet behind him as he gave a sincere speech about love bridging the gap between Katolis and Xadia. When finished he finally gave the announcement “It’s my deepest pleasure to announce the engagement of my brother Prince Callum to Rayla of the Silvergrove.” It was their cue to step forward, they smiled and waved. The crowd erupted into applause and cheering. Rayla couldn’t help notice a portion of the crowd looked confused and some just up and left. She pushed the worry down and kept smiling the awkwardly big smile. She turned to look at him and when he saw her his smile went from forced to genuine. Impulsively he kissed her. He grabbed her face and his lips were warm and enthusiastic. She couldn’t help but relax into it. She heard some awwwws from the crowd and more cheering. When they pulled apart he whispered in her ear “let them walk out, I will never be ashamed to love you”. She knew he meant it and it made her knees weak. Their smiles were less forced after that.

What happened next was like nothing Rayla had ever experienced. They began making their way through the courtyard and into the city streets. It was terrifying, she’s fought evil mages and giant spiders so at this point most things didn’t phase her. This was a different kind of terrifying, it was overwhelming. She uncomfortably took compliments, shook hands and was asked questions, some of which may have been a little culturally insensitive, but well meaning. As they were instructed Callum and her attempted to connect with people. Children stepped forward and brought her flowers and told her she was pretty, that they liked her purple eyes. It occurred to her this is likely the closest many of these humans have been to and elf. This situation was extremely bazaar.

Soren walked directly behind the two and a pair of additional guards walked a few feet behind him. She kept receiving flowers and Callum placed a few in her hair. She reciprocated and started tucking them into his circlet. He looked adorably ridiculous and they shared a few chaste kisses and held hands. The flowers just kept coming, she moved onto Soren, he glared unamused by the daisies behind each ear. Eventually, a basket appeared in the hands of one of the guards and she could finally free up her hands. It was a relief. On top of the greeting, and the smiling, and the waving, she didn’t need to be over encumbered by bouquets. Things seemed to be going well and she was starting to think she’d be able to pull this thing off.

Eventually, she saw the orange and blue sign that Opeli had told her about it was off on a small side street. She doubted the councilwoman wanted her to do this now but it seemed like a good excuse to take a break. Rayla caught Soren’s attention, he winked, clicked his tongue and snapped his pointed fingers at her then nodded to the other guards. Callum had been pulled into a conversation so it was the perfect time to sneak away. As she entered the shop she looked back and saw a very confused Callum searching the crowd for her.

She hurried in and Soren stayed at the doorway blocking anyone from entering behind her. The shop was empty, probably because everyone was outside. She startled the owner, “You’re a-wait-the… You’re the Prince’s betrothed, the news is all over town, everyone’s talking about it.” the lanky man stuttered.

Rayla chuckled awkwardly “Yup, you caught me. hehe...” awkward silence.

He looked as nervous as she felt. “Ummm, so can I help you?” he asked.

“Right, Yeah! I’m in a bit’of a hurry. I need a sketchbook. A nice one, leather with shiny stuff or somethin’” he showed her a selection. The one she picked was maroon leather with an embossed heart made up of the angular linework commonly found in Katolis. It seemed subtle and still got the point across. She also purchased a few pencils the man recommended. He wrapped the parcel and tied it with string.

“All right that’ll be-”

“There you go” she placed the entire pouch of coins in his hand and he looked shocked. “Is that enough?” she asked.

“Yes it’s ah-let me get your chang- ”

“Great! Gotta go! Thanks!” She smiled and waved as she dashed out.

She heard him yell behind her. “Thank you please come again”.

As she left the shop a group of three men were walking by, one stopped when he saw her. He looked at her with disgust, she could feel the atmosphere turn sour “Take your filth back to Xadia wench” he stepped forward and spit at Rayla’s feet. She was taken aback but then narrowed her eyes. She tried to remember Opeli’s words but luckily Soren intervened before she could kick the arse hole square in the chest. Soren simply stepped in front of her and raised his arms, moved forward and lifted his chin sharply. The leader flinched and backed away.

One of the men in the back spoke up “The prince must enjoy those legs, open like a whore”

The third man spoke “That must be the only reason he must want a monster in his bed”

This time Soren put a hand on the pommel of his sword. He didn’t have to say a word, the intimidation worked and they ran away.

“Yeah, that’s right, run home you little bitches” Soren called mocking after them, then he turned to Rayla concerned. “You ok?”

She nodded. In truth, the answer was yes and no. She could have taken those thugs alone and unarmed, but it unsettled her much more than she had expected. Being hated face to face by strangers like that left her angry and a little shaken. “Let’s just get back.”

Soren put the parcel quietly into the flower basket when they rejoined the procession.

“Where were you?-” Callum asked surprised and confused.

“Had tae use the little elf’s room, don’ worry about it”, she kissed him quickly and changed the subject “Now please, let’s start workin’ our way back. This is exhaustin’.” He agreed and they slowly changed direction. Her fake forced smile had returned and she found herself not wanting to let go of Callum’s hand.

Once the doors closed behind them they practically collapsed. They massaged their sore smiling muscles while being praised for how well they did. Everyone was enthusiastic about how kind and open people had been to Rayla. That having her accepted as their future princess would be easier than they hoped.

When asked if there was any trouble Soren opened his mouth but Rayla cut him off. “Everything was just fine”, She lied. She wasn’t sure she wanted Callum to know about the tearaways. She didn’t want him to worry or get mad. This was a good day and she didn’t want to spoil it. There was no harm done... this time , was the nagging end to that thought.

After dinner Rayla excused herself early, eager to be alone after the giant mob they spent the afternoon in. With her basket in hand Rayla stopped to retrieve a nightdress from the room she pretended was her’s and then sauntered to Callum’s. She changed and started arranging flowers on the bed. It was a lovely assortment, they weren’t extravagant, mostly wildflowers or ones common in a garden. She sifted through them while she got lost in thought. She’d never been praised so much in her life and had no idea how to feel about it. People were so nice, despite her being an elf, excited to meet her and kind. She picked petals off a flower, lamenting that one bad moment and she felt it seep into her mind like poison. She hated that she just stood there and took the verbal abuse. She was grateful for Soren, he was a loyal friend but it should have been her fight. When all the petals were pulled off the flower she beat back the negativity.  She wanted to give Callum his gift and have him all to herself. She would make this evening special for them both!              

When he finally entered he was in a good mood, he immediately began taking off the jacket and his boots while excitedly telling her about something that happened at dinner. When he finally turned to look at her he was stripped down to his pants and white undershirt. He stopped and went silent when he saw her. She was lounging on the bed covered in flowers wearing a thin silk nightgown. It was a nice fabric and so it never made an appearance when they traveled.

“Hi” was all he managed.

She hopped off the bed to greet him with a light kiss. “Hello, why do you have that stupid grin on your face?” she looked behind her for an imaginary target. “Was it something over there? Or maybe you just have gas?”

He laughed and reached for her “Hmmmmm what could it be?” he pondered “OH! Maybe my smokin hot fiance in the fancy outfit I like”

She looked at him with fake confusion “No that seems silly, probably just gas”.

“Oh come here!” He pulled her in for a kiss and she took the moment to reach for the hem of his shirt. He chuckled as it cleared his head. “Is that how this night is going? Sometimes I think you only want me for my body”.

“In my defense it’s a very nice body” She smiled coyly as she traced one of the tattoos on his upper arm. “Actually though, I have a gift for you”. He looked surprised and she guided him towards the bed but he stopped

“ok this is really weird” he had a bashful smile “I uuhh… I have a present for you too”

She cocked her head to one side and it was her turn to look surprised “Seriously?”

“Yeah!” He chuckled as he went to retrieve a parcel from a drawer.

They sat together, Rayla insisted he open his first. He agreed and she watched his face intently, when he saw it the soft smile was exactly the response she hoped for. She loved that smile with all her heart. He ran his fingers over the embossed patterns on the cover, memorizing the shapes. Finally he looked up at her “Rayla this is beautiful. Thank you” he kissed her tenderly.

“I thought this would be a better place for you to keep your private sketches.” She elbowed him playfully but he looked perplexed. “YoU kNoW, The risque ones you like to do. The ones you have to take out of the regular sketchbook so no one sees.” She purred.

“Oooooooooh” He understood now and smirked “you mean when I draw you as my elegant naken muse?”

“Yes! This is yer special red pornography sketchbook… you perv” she chuckled

“Hey you bought it for me so you can’t mind it too much.” he teased.

“Ahh you got me there” she winked and they laughed together and he thanked her one more time.

“Really Rayla, I love it, and I can’t wait to fill it with all the ways I get to see you.” He kissed her hand “Now it’s your turn!”

The parcel was smaller than his and she couldn’t help noticing the pink string. She opened it carefully and was confused by what she found. “They’re… socks?” She unfolded them to take a closer look.

Callum looked defeated “You don’t like them? Was it too forward? I tho-”

“Callum they seem like very nice socks I just... Why are they so tall? Kind of flimsy” She always had a sense for when she was missing a human thing, that sense was tingling now.

“Oooooooohh” Callum’s face was pink. “Are stockings not a thing for you?”

“I guess not.” she paused “Wait a minute. Are these sexy fancy socks?”

He chuckled a little embarrassed. “They’re silk stockings, and... yes they are sexy. Keep in mind I don’t really know what I’m talking about but the woman at the shop said these were the highest quality in the five kingdoms, imported from Neolandia.” He sounded proud of that, Rayla found it wonderfully cute “And before you call me a perv again they’re not just for the bedroom, usually, they’re worn under fancy dresses. Buuuuuut most men do find them... very alluring.”

“So they’re like tights, except fancier but also leave mah cunny wide open?” Callum snort laughed. One of her favorite sounds he makes, maybe her favorite sound ever.

“Yup, Rayla you…” He had to stop laughing “you hit the nail on the head there”

She admired them fully, running her fingers along the teal ribbon gathering the ruffled embroidered edges. The more she looked at them the more beautiful she found them and she knew he’d picked them out with care, “They’re soft… and dainty…” she smiled sincerely “I love them and they’re beautiful. Thank you Callum”.

“You’re welcome my muse. I guess they can be featured in the first sketch of my new book” She could tell he was pleased with himself. He kissed her but pulled away she looked into his bedroom eyes (because she couldn't call it the licentious prince look anymore) . He suggested “I think you should try them on. Can I help?” He was trying to be smooth.

Rayla wasn’t sure what he meant but she was eager to let him. He got on his knees in front of her. The blush that spread across her face was scalding. As he placed her foot in his lap he ran both hands up and down her leg. His touch sent chills down her spine while still managing to burn against her skin. The way he looked at her was full of desire. Taking the stocking he slowly rolled it up onto her thigh and tied the ribbon. But before moving to the next he kissed the inside of her thigh but stopped when he realized she wasn't wearing any underwear. He bit his lip and she chuckled.

“Ah thought you’d like that” she smiled with satisfaction.

He muttered as he kissed and stroked the other leg “I do like it, I like it alot”

He rolled the second stocking up with equal tenderness. When he finished he stopped to look at her, he reached for her hands and kissed them. “Rayla you are so… perfect… I…” She pulled him to his feet and over her onto the bed, she kissed him passionately. She worked on the buttons of his pants and pushed them down. He fumbled a little trying to step out of them. It wasn't’ the most smooth thing he’s done but he was cute as ever.

She layed back on the bed and he moved his hand between her legs. She whined against his lips when he slipped a finger inside her. Then a second finger pumped slowly. Too slowly. He was driving her mad so when she saw an opening she took it and flipped him onto his back. He looked a little shocked at how quickly the tables had turned but then smiled in awe of her. Taking charge like a tidal wave she crashed her love onto him, letting her passion hit like waves. She felt lovely and fierce, raking her nails on his bare chest and grinding against his hard and ready cock. Everytime he tried to get up she showered him harder with affection and she felt the smile on his lips. He pulled her down, flush against him and she laughed. He chuckled into her ear “You’re so aggressive. Are you going to take advantage of me?” He said it with a flirtatious eyebrow wiggle.

“Maybe” She purred. She lined herself up and then lowered herself fully onto him. Rayla took a moment to enjoy the feeling. She loved having him inside her, connected in a way meant only for them. He filled her and it was perfect.

As she began to rock herself on top of him he reached to help control her thrusts but grabbed his wrists and held them above his head with one hand. She ground into him and he moaned and sighed happily. Holding his arms down with her left hand she uses her right to rub herself while she rode him. He was moaning and writhing underneath her. He never tried to pull free of her grasp. He’d given her his trust and submission, she took it and cherished it. They both started panting, he lurched forward and moaned her name. She should have pulled herself off but she enjoyed feeling him release inside her and she was so close, it only took a few more seconds grinding until she crumpled into her own climax.

They rolled onto their sides and shared a tender kiss. “I liked that.” he was catching his breath “You can do it again sometime.” he held her face sweetly and kissed her forehead.

She hummed a “Yes sounds good”

“My sweet mistress, take me” he said over dramatically.

“Oh I’m yer mistress now?” she chuckled “I love you muh sexy slave human”

He apparently found that hysterical and burst out laughing. “I love you so much. You never fail to make me laugh”. She felt warm and happy in his arms. Grinning he added “You know, I like your stockings, whoever picked them out must have really good taste” she laughed and rolled around wrestling him into the perfect position to cuddle. Later she posed for him to draw her.

[impracticaldemon]

Graylu Week: Chapter 4 Too Cold to Hold, Part I

fanfiction by impracticaldemon Prompt:  Fragrance (written for Graylu Day, only 20 days late) Words: ~2600 | also on FFnet and AO3 under impracticaldemon

Summary:  Gray and Lucy are slowly but surely working out life as a couple. This story follows some of the prompts of Graylu Fluff Week (Feb 2017) and some of the prompts of Graylu Week (Sep 2017).  In Chapter 4, a romantic dinner in a snow-bound chalet-hotel becomes fraught with both conversational pitfalls and angry snow spirits.

Author's Note: With apologies for the delay and hoping that you'll enjoy chapter 4 of this combined Graylu Fluff Week and Graylu Week story!  With particular thanks to @nonochuu for all of her support and gentle nudges. Thank you also to those who have commented, reblogged, bookmarked and just generally sent encouragement my way on FFnet, AO3 and tumblr. I'm grateful to all of my readers.

Chapter 4—Too Cold to Hold, Part I Prompt: Fragrance (for Graylu Day)

Gray had eventually put on pajama bottoms and a fitted t-shirt that was either midnight blue or black (whichever it was, Lucy had approved). Not that he had wanted to "get dressed," as he'd put it, but even he had felt that boxer shorts and nothing else probably wasn't appropriate attire in which to fetch their dinner. His girlfriend had forborne to comment that his loungewear might not be exactly what the kitchen staff had in mind either.

He returned with several dishes, ranging from steaming soup to dome-covered entrées to some kind of towering cake and cream and fruit concoction that was clearly a special dessert. The warm part of the meal was carefully balanced on two large trays, but the dessert—in all of its frothy, bedizened glory—was being held aloft by ice.

"They were pretty impressed with my carrying capacity," he commented, as Lucy took one of the trays so that he could negotiate the doorway. "Plus the way I could keep the dessert chilled."

"No kidding." Lucy was laying out their dinner on the low coffee table with rapid efficiency. She nodded approvingly at the dessert, which Gray left sitting on a table of ice in the window embrasure.

"Yeah, they offered me a job waitering, if wizarding didn't work out." His mouth quirked into a smile. "Don't worry, I told them that my carrying skills were okay, but that my patience for obnoxious customers wasn't the best."

Lucy pointed him to one cushion and took the other, folding her legs under her and sniffing appreciatively at the soup. "Itadakimasu," she murmured politely, word and action somehow coming naturally in this lovely room, with a fine meal in front of her. (1)

Gray looked surprised—the guildhall wasn't exactly famous for good manners with food, and he had fallen out of the habit a long time ago. And yet… dim memories of childhood—first with his parents and then Ur—resurfaced with surprising clarity, and he automatically copied Lucy. It was strange: in almost any other setting, or with any other person, he might have resented the formality—or at least the memories evoked—but here and with Lucy it was just right. His mind skittered over the thought that this is how one might behave in one's own home with one's own family.

"This is really good!" Lucy smiled at Gray with unfeigned pleasure. "Oh, and I was about to say—I'm quite sure that your waitering skills would be just fine if you weren't forced to wear a dress." Her smile turned a little roguish, as other scenes evidently replaced the dress episode in her mind's eye. "In fact, I'll bet you'd be quite an attraction in a butler's outfit—or maybe just the pants and a bow-tie?"

"Uh-huh." Gray reddened and suddenly felt a need to concentrate on his soup. When he looked up again, he saw Lucy looking at him quizzically, her own cheeks a little pink. "It's just kind of weird," he told her, "hearing that from you instead of, you know, Mira or Cana. Or Erza, when she's gotten way too into one of our jobs."

Lucy nodded. "I know what you mean. But for what it's worth, I have thought it before. And with Mira and Cana, it's mostly impersonal. Or at least it applies to everyone—guys, girls, whoever they need to dress up at any given moment. Or just for fun." She paused, and then added darkly: "Their fun, I mean."

Gray switched to his main course, smiling when Lucy glared momentarily into space. She was obviously contemplating past injuries. To be fair, Fairy Tail's loveliest and most notorious hostesses did seem to derive a bit too much pleasure out of interfering with the lives of others. Mind you, he wasn't going to complain about having seen Lucy in a variety of bikinis, bunny suits, and gowns—but he wasn't going to comment on it either. At least, not right this minute.

Loke probably would though… He quickly tried to get his mind off that train of thought. No sense in being jealous of Lucy's bond with the guy who just happened to be the leader of the celestial spirits of the Zodiac. Well—no point in dwelling on it, anyway. He and Loke would just have to reach an understanding about grabby hands not being okay. No problem.

"Gray?"

"…Sorry Lucy!" Gray was startled to realize that there was frost crystallizing in the air above his hands. "Um…" He glanced down, relieved to see that he was still dressed. That meant he'd only been out of it for a couple of moments.

"I guess you've had to deal with the dynamic duo for even longer than I have—is that it?" Lucy's tone was completely sympathetic. She knew that Gray wasn't the best with being pushed into things, although he tended to be a team player.

Gray wavered between an easy lie and a complicated truth. "Kind of?"

Sympathy faded to concern. Lucy set down her chopsticks. She used chopsticks or metal cutlery with equal facility, and her familiarity with all sorts of food and customs periodically reminded her team-mates that her upbringing had been that of a pampered—if lonely—little girl. Gray recognized that his mind was going off on a tangent again.

"Okay, you'll have to explain 'kind of'," Lucy said firmly.

"I wasn't actually thinking about Cana and Mira just then, but it's true that I have had to deal with them for a long time. I mean… they're not much older than I am, so I've known them since we were all kids. Hard to believe now, right?"

Lucy regarded him thoughtfully. "Is this one of those 'better not to go there just now' moments? Or one those 'better get it over with' moments?"

Gray scrubbed at the back of his head as a substitute for stripping off his t-shirt. Although maybe Lucy wouldn't mind. He forced himself to talk. "You're very attractive, in a lot of ways, to a lot of people. It's one reason it took so long to tell you how I felt—feel."

"Okay…" Lucy frowned slightly at him. "So it's one of those 'figure out what I'm thinking because I'm too embarrassed to tell you' moments." She took a mouthful of food and chewed thoughtfully.

"Yeah, you're right. Pretty lame." Gray finished the rest of his entrée, barely managing to stay on the right side—that is, the polite side—of Natsu-speed.

"You always seemed much too indifferent—or too cool—to be really jealous of anyone," Lucy mused. "Except that I understand about Natsu."

Gray threw up his hands in surrender. "Fine, I was just thinking that I might want to have a chat with my buddy Loke." He shrugged. "And I have definitely had my moments of jealousy."

Lucy's face was unusually hard to read. Then she gave him an apologetic half-smile. "I guess there are just still… things… to talk about, right? Or to sort out, or something. I figured—the two of you have always been friends, you know?"

"I know. And being friends means that I know how he thinks."

"Yeah, I think most us of know that," said Lucy, a little dryly. "He's probably just as interested in you as he is in me. Not that I really know—I try not to, um, pry too much. I mean, he was seeing Aries—or so I thought—but…"

"Yeah, exactly. But…" Gray shook his head. "Honestly, it was just a stray thought. Loke's just a little too 'hands-on' for my taste."

"Or maybe it's the way he periodically makes passes at me?" Lucy inquired, appearing to relax now that she knew what was wrong. Her eyes were bright and cheerful again.

"Right, it could be that." Impulsively, Gray took Lucy's hand across the corner of the table. "And it's been such a pain, since I've been trying not to make passes at you."

"Oh? Didn't you mention something earlier about, um"—Lucy turned a little pink again, but persevered—"wanting to take me to bed? Are you saying that wasn't—"

"It was the hot chocolate talking."

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Talk about lame."

"Fine, pour me another glass of wine." The proprietor had insisted on tucking a bottle of red under Gray's arm to share with 'his lovely lady' over dinner.

"I don't think you like it much," the 'lovely lady' murmured, filling his empty glass as requested. He'd gulped the first glass rather quickly.

"I prefer beer to wine, but this isn't bad." Gray took a careful sip. "Besides, I figure we can each stand to broaden our horizons."

"Okay, but what idiot makes his non-beer-drinking friend try something called 'Hobgoblin'?"

Gray winced, but chuckled. "At least they were out of Guiness. That stuff will peel paint."

"And that's a selling point?"

"Heh, no—unless you're trying to be macho, or happen to like strong, dark beer. Which, just for the record, I do."

Lucy smiled sweetly at him. "You've finished your wine. Again."

"Oh." Two glasses of wine weren't really enough for a buzz, but nerves and repressed lust seemed to duplicate the overall feeling somehow. "So… dessert? If you're done your dinner? Apparently it's a house specialty."

Lucy's smile faded. "Gray…"

"… I don't want to rush anything. When we're joking around, when you're in my arms, anything seems possible. It's easier…"

"But bring a nice dinner and a bottle of wine into the picture and it isn't?" Lucy's hand tensed slightly under his. "Isn't it usually the other way around?"

"Probably. Or maybe that's the problem. I don't—I don't—want to be just some guy." Gray heard the note of uncertainty in his voice and hated it.

"You don't trust me."

"What?"

"You don't trust me to say no. You're worried that I'll do something I'll regret later and that will mess things up."

"That's not it!"

"Really? We've known each other for over two years, and it took most of that time for you—for us—to risk even one date."

Suddenly Gray's attention was wrenched from the argument—or whatever it was—by a sharp, familiar scent. He let go of Lucy's hand and jumped up, eyes scanning the scene beyond the window.

"Gray? I'm sorry—"

"No… I mean, it's not you—there's something trying to get in, can't you smell it?"

Puzzled, but trying to believe that her boyfriend wasn't just trying to avoid a difficult conversation, Lucy walked over to stand beside Gray. She stiffened immediately, and shivered.

"It's cold here! And it smells of—of snow?"

"Yeah. I guess they managed to find—or make—a chink in the glass while we were busy earlier." Gray's fingers found Lucy's and squeezed reassuringly. "You can smell them too? The scent of snow at least? Not everyone can…"

"Sure. I've always been able to smell snow."

"Okay, ever hear of snow spirits?"

"No… not unless you mean Frosty and Sparky."

Gray shook his head. "This isn't Super Makaro and there isn't some villain trying to capture all the nice little snow spirits. Real snow spirits aren't cute and they aren't friendly. They aren't always unfriendly, according to what Ur taught me, but they, uh, really dislike ice mages. I've never seen them here before, but maybe I stirred them up when I was here last year—and then they noticed that I'd come back. I'm really sorry about this."

"Well, I told you that I wouldn't say no to fighting malevolent cold spirits," Lucy murmured.

"Yeah, but this is a vacation. Maybe you could just let me deal with them?" Gray was not overly-optimistic about what Lucy would think of this suggestion and he was right.

"Forget it. The couple that fights snow spirits together, stays together."

Her companion grinned a little crookedly. "It doesn't exactly scan well, but I'll take it." He bent down quickly and kissed her lips. It was a distinctly ardent, searching kiss for a guy who should be focussed on evil—or at least angry—supernatural beings.

"Distracted, much?" muttered Lucy.

"Oh yeah." Gray drew a deep breath. "And just so that we're clear: I do want to take you to bed, and take off those adorable pyjamas, and run my hands—and my mouth—over your whole body, and convince you that we're perfecttogether and the rest of the world can go to hell."

He could sense Lucy react to his words, could swear that he felt her temperature rise. Why was it easier to say such things at moments like this? Probably because he didn't have to face her and the danger made his words seems less real. Without even having to think about it, he used ice to create a seal on the window. Not the most effective against elemental cold beings, but as long as he got outside quickly at least he could avoid a battle—and damage—in here.

"I hate your timing, Gray. Just so that we're clear—you aren't fooling anyone." Moving with calm efficiency, Lucy picked up a leather case from a bedside table and pulled out a golden key. "Aries, I need your help." Her summoning rituals had gotten less formal over time…

There was a bright light, and then a sweet, curly-haired girl with small ram's horns appeared and bowed diffidently.

"Sumimasen," she murmured as usual; the celestial spirit connected to the Zodiac sign of the ram tended to apologize for anything and everything, or even nothing. She ducked her head and smiled shyly at Gray. She seemed to like him, for some reason—or at least he didn't alarm her as much as most.

"Aries do you notice—" Lucy suddenly looked intently at her celestial friend. "Is that snow in your fur?"

"Yes? It's very cold her. I smell elemental spirits—the freezing ones."

"Well, that saves explanations," Lucy muttered.

"See y' outside, Luce!" Gray had stepped back when Aries appeared, but now he stripped off his shirt—possibly accidentally—and hurried out of the room.

"Moron, why couldn't he just wait?" Lucy sighed. She'd given up a long time ago trying to hold any of her team-mates back from a confrontation.

"I believe that Gray-san wants to get the snow spirits away from the window so that it doesn't shatter and ruin your dessert. It's very pretty." Aries hesitated, and then added, "Are you going to get married?"

"What?! No! I mean—not right this moment! We've just started going out… Why are you asking, anyway?"

"Sumimasen! We're all curious and they—they made me promise to ask since you called me—I'm sorry!"

Lucy squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. At least they cared about her, right?

"Okay, sure. Anyway, do you think you could magic up some fluffy insulation for this window?"

"Oh yes, easily!"

Moments later, the big window was wreathed in fluffy pink clouds of… something. Whatever it was, the area near the window suddenly got much warmer and the scent of snow on a cold night vanished.

"Thank you!" Lucy called over her shoulder as she shoved her feet into boots and dragged her coat on over her pyjamas. She waved to Aries as she ran out the door to go looking for Gray. Hopefully she wouldn't get lost in the swirling snow.

[END of PART I]

(1) This is a normal good manners before a meal in Japan. The word is often accompanied by placing the palms together briefly as in prayer. The idiomatic meaning is "thank you for the meal". In more formal situations one might also bow slightly.

A/Note: Sorry for having to break this up! Chapter 5—Too Cold to Hold, Part II, will hopefully be out tomorrow evening! I'm just not very good at writing things as *short* as I intend them to be... Your comments, reviews, follows and faves are all much appreciated. :)

@shell-senji @eliz1369 @nalufever @miss-zei @sanguine-fairy @ftfanfics @fic-writer-appreciation @graylu-fanfictions @canadiangaap @gsut @sassyhazelowl @foreverfangirling74

[karamorrdraws]

The Night Series Pt.13

The Big Secret

Pairing: Rhysand x Reader Words: 1349

Hello everyone! This series is based on the world created by the amazing Sarah J. Maas. These characters are totally hers and no hate towards any of them. I love them all.

Ps. Sorry for my english! Pps. If you want to get tagged tell me and I’ll tag you! :) Ppps. Sorry for the delay! I’ve been a little bit busy lately :(

CATCH UP! Read Part One here: PART ONE THE NIGHT SERIES MASTERLIST Author’s note: To avoid confusion: reader has red hair and green eyes. Also, she’s wearing the fake name “Daeris”. 

The Big Secret

I stood up. Suddenly I felt a light touch on my lower back.

“You’re crying”, Rhysand said.

I turned away from him as I wiped my tears away. I hadn’t even noticed when I started crying.

“Let’s go”, I told him.

Rhysand didn’t say anything.

…

“The creature you’re looking for is the one called Hydra”, the water wraith said.

My eyes went wide. We had found the water wraiths near the ocean. Their aspect was both terrifying and somehow alluring in a way. Except for their sharp teeth and terrifying black eyes. They were a sight to behold nevertheless. I’d never seen one in all of my immortal life, so I was staring more than usual, which was never good. We had traded the jewels Tarquin had given us for information on the relic. It had been a tedious morning since either they didn’t knew exactly what we were talking about or they didn’t want to help us in the first place and left. It had taken us a while to find a water wraith that actually wanted to cooperate with us and knew about the ‘thing’ hidden in the ocean.

“A hydra is what hides in this ocean?”, Rhysand asked. “Oh not just in this ocean, pretty one. The hydra sees everything”, the water wraith responded.

A hydra. A cunning, deadly, giant, and many-headed water serpent monster. I thought they were extinct. Apparently not.

“Tell me where to find it”, I told her. “The hydra has no specific location, cunning one. Although it does guard a temple hidden in the ocean”, she said. “Where in the ocean?”, I asked.

The water wraith smiled wickedly with her long and sharp teeth.

…

“An underwater temple”, Rhsyand said, sounding a bit annoyed. “Why does everything has to be underwater in this Court?” “At least it’s not under a thousand middengard wyrms”, I replied as we walked towards the beach. “We’ll have to go for a dive. You heard the water wraith, pretty one”, I said mockingly.

Rhysand sneered at me and then stopped walking.

“What’s wrong?”, I asked as I stopped in my tracks and turned to him. “I think since we'll be working together for some time, it'll be wise to know the extent of your powers. You know, before the hydra tries to eat us”, he said. “You mean my power of phasing through things?”, I asked him. “I can only do that through material objects and minds. It has helped me steal thoughts from people and learn important secrets but other than that…”, he interrupted me. “Do you have any other power I need to know of?”

Yes, but you won’t like them. I was quiet as I gathered my thoughts. Should I let him know about my other power? Will he know my true identity if I show it to him? Will he kill me if I show him that particular power? Trust him, a part inside me told me. So I did.

“Yes”, I told him.

He stared at me as he said:

“Show me”.

I flinched.

“I... I don't think you’ll particularly like my other power”, I told him. “Why is that?”, he asked. “Because my powers are... controversial”.

Rhys was quiet as he looked at me.

“Show me”, he repeated.

I took a deep breath, preparing myself.

“I’m warning you, Rhysand: you’re really not going to like this”.

I tried to make him back away, but he didn’t. He just crossed his arms, waiting for me to show him my power. I sighed.

“You asked for it”.

I walked towards him and touched his cheek lightly. I smiled at him with worry, already asking for forgiveness for what I was about to do.

“Hi”, he said, with a false flirtatious smile.

I rolled my eyes, somehow feeling a little less guilty.

“Shut up”, I told him as I concentrated. “What exactly is your…”, He didn’t got to finish that question.

I unleashed my power on him.

“What…”

Rhysand was suddenly breathing hard and trying to balance himself on his feet as I drained his powers.

“You’re…”

Shadows exploded around me. My breath caught as I kept stealing his powers. His power really went deep. It felt as if there wasn’t an end to his power. It was an infinite stream. I would've been done by now had it been any other fae. But Rhysand... He was special. I stopped stealing his powers and Rhysand caught me as I was suddenly falling. I felt tingly all over. The shadows around me were leaking from me. My knees were wobbly with the intensity of his powers. I’d never felt such power before. It was too much. I could only imagine the bad someone else could easily do if they acquired even a fraction of his powers. That’s why I felt torn and bewildered. I felt as if this power, his power, was made for me. They felt good on me. I felt strong, fierce, powerful, as if I could rule over them all. And I hadn’t even stole his power completely. I looked over at Rhysand. He was staring at me with shock. Utter terrifying shock.

“How… how did you…”

He was so confused and shocked with my power that I felt bad for using it in him. I’d never particularly enjoy to use that power. Ever since my mother had taught me how to use my magic, I’d hated it.

“I’m sorry”, I said as I started to slowly return him his power. “Wait”, he said.

I stopped, confused.

“Show me”.

He wants me to show him how I used his powers. Why?, I thought. I didn't even knew what that meant.

“But…”, he interrupted me. “Please”, he whispered.

Why is he being so trusting with me even though I have control over his powers?, I asked myself, but didn’t have enough time to elaborate on it since he was waiting for me to make a demonstration. So I did. I gave him a demonstration. I appeared a wine glass in his left hand. He stared at the wine glass and then at me, and laughed. He actually laughed.

“I… I wondered how you did that”, I said, shyly. “It's one of the perks of being that powerful”, he replied.

I smiled and let his power return to him. He breathed with relief as his full powers returned to him. I somehow felt both relief and grief that his powers were gone from my grasp.

“I’d never met anyone else who can do that but…” “Amarantha”, I finished for him quietly. “Yes”, he whispered.

Don't do it. Don't tell him. Don't. He will kill you. You know he will. You shouldn't have shown him this power. You might as well destroy his mind in this moment and get out of there. Don’t let him know any more about yourself. Safe yourself. Run. Disappear. Just get out of there now before he finds out the truth…

“How is it possible?”, he asked as he stared at me, jaw clenched.

Don’t let him see you panic. You weren’t trained to be weak. You were meant to rule. Don’t let him intimidate you. Do not tell him your secret.

“Its an ancient type of magic”, I told him. “Interesting”, he said as he kept looking at me.

I didn’t miss the subtle defensive stance he had acquired.

Do NOT tell him Amarantha is your mother!

“It’s a weird power. I told you you wouldn't like it”, I said casually.

I turned around and started walking towards the ocean, giving him my back. Probably a deadly mistake, but he needed to know I trusted him. That I wasn’t afraid of him and that he shouldn’t be either. Every step I took closer to the ocean, I kept thinking it could be my last. He could kill me in any second. He had a clear shot. It wouldn’t be hard at all. He hadn’t moved from where he was standing, so he was clearly debating what to do next. The important question was: Was he going to kill me?

Read Part 14 here: PART FOURTEEN

[elmerinolatino-blog]

The last blog

Aka caipirinha-flavoured tears, aka saudade de brasil

And there we go, before you know it 6 months have passed and you’re back in a country where summer means ‘take a jacket and a vest if you plan to spend the day outside’. What a time it has been. But before a little reflection and nostalgia, let me inform you about my last 3 weeks in South America, the country that wanted me to leave with a bang (or a few). On to Brazil, or: a masochistic journey of hell

Last time I wrote I had just climbed a mountain in the middle of the night with -15 degrees en a freezing cold icy wind. Traumatised as I was, I decided to make a run for Brazil as my time was running out. First stop: Rio de Janeiro. I had not really planned a trip and in my mind it wasn’t thaaaat far away and could be done by bus, because much cheaper. God was I wrong. I put myself on a 17h overnight bus that would get me to the lowlands of Bolivia where I could connect to a train (again, 17h) to the border. Bolivia style, we left and made an instant break to onload more baggage. And then another one, because the bus boys were convinced there weren’t enough passengers on the bus already. And then another. And then another. By that time I had calculated that we had 4h max to be delayed or I would miss the train. So I got a little mad and made sure we kept going. We made 3 stops again in the morning, of course, and made it just in time for the train. On the train I was exceptionally bored because they played some shitty concert on the screens in the wagons, so I decided to make most of my time and hang out with the train restaurant ladies. At first I tried teaching them a card game I know as ‘stressing’ where you have to pick up and play cards fastfastfast. Well, that didn’t work… I don’t think the ladies understood stress as a concept. So I tried a card game I know as ‘lying’, where one lady was an instant star and where the other lady got so nervous at the idea of lying that she quit the game (oh sweet soul). Sadly that meant that I had to retreat to my seat and quit the game too. The travel went on… (remember at this time I’m still travelling smartphoneless). In the morning we reached the border, where I had read that it takes hours to stand in line and that sometimes they’ll tell you that you have to wait until the next day. Luckily it was not that bad, I waited an hour with a British guy who overstayed his visa but worked his blue eyes and got away with it. On the Brazilian side (yes!) I could have taken a bus straight to Rio, but this gringo decided that the bus was quite expensive and that I would just break up the journey and get cheaper buses. Sadly in Brazil it doesn’t work like that, so I ended up paying more and getting a 6h minivan, a 20h bus to Sao Paulo, a metro to the other bus station and finally, another 6h bus to Rio de Janeiro. Once I got there I had bendered my way through buses and trains for 3,5 days and I was ready to die. Luckily there was caipirinha, and I decided to get drunk instead. Rio, meu amor...

Oh Rio. Finally there I was, the cidade maravilhosa, the city so famous you kind of know it without even having been there. What an icon, and what a deception when I made my first walk through Copacabana, because the buildings were not that pretty or iconic. Honestly that first morning in Rio I did not understand what all the fuss was about. Ok there’s a beach but it’s filled with bodybuilding airheads so what? Only when the sun set and I found a viewpoint I understood what Rio’s magic is about. You have a large city to give you the excitement you need, there’s the hills for your portion of nature and activity, and the beach for relaxing and sunset. That night Rio went full charm-attack on me when met up with a guy I met on the bus, and was kidnapped to a party by his friend to a very artsyfartsyparty in a beautiful old colonial villa slash cultural center. The music was great, and there was a huge tree, very nicely lit, from which hung a shower of tree-roots (what the hell is the english word for this). Adding to all of this, it was full of artyfarty queery boys making out with eachother, plus it was “winter” and we were in shirts outside. Man, I had officially reached paradise.

The next days Rio kept living up to its promise. I went to a really good drag show, had a tour through the center, a beautiful mix of modernist and colonial buildings, and went to a boat party. The boat party in particular was great as everybody was completely drunk, and combined with the boat’s sways from left to right it was like being in a rollercoaster in which you were able to shake your booty (and there was a lot of that happening). Before I knew it, Rio had thrown me into a caipirinha-fuelled bender which was great fun but resulted in me with an almost-constant hangover. Luckily I also found some time to hike up to a hilltop and do a favela tour. The last thing was a bit weird because it felt like disaster tourism, but ok, I am also a little urbanist and I want to see every sort of urban landscape possible. Seeing as favelas are a very interesting sort of urbanism (all the alleys, verticalism, the street life) I could rationalise myself to do it. Apart from those things I went to walk the city a bit with a Colombian guy (mistake) after my center tour. This guy decided I was his new personal photographer and made me photograph him in 3 of the same poses on every fucking streetcorner, including “please can you do another one”-s. So now if you want to hire me for your wedding please do, I am broke and consider myself qualified.

Oh yeah, Rio is also an artistic city.

Sampasampa, a blitz trip to the metropolis

After Rio I had planned a visit to São Paulo, Sampa, the biggest city of South America and… the biggest gay pride in the world! In the bus I crafted myself a little necklace of paper flowers, added some extra flower necklaces (more is more, remember kids), some coloured feathers and some glitter (for which the same concept applies my dears, learn from this, it will make your weekends sparkly and amazing. MORE IS MORE). So expecting a big celebration of gayness, I found that my hostel was full of gay guys who ignored me, and the next day, I found that there was not a grain of solidarity in these boy’s minds. During a political speech by a drag queen during the parade there was really zero interest in what she said, which made me outraged. Especially with the homophobia and transphobia in Brazil that people told me really is an issue, how can you set your mind solely on getting drunk and scoring guys? Ignoring this annoyance, I decided to then just go with the flow and set my mind on getting drunk and making out with half the parade. I got by with a little help from my new friend caipirinha, and accomplished both goals.

Having a Marylin Monroe moment on a metro raster.

The next morning I woke up in a state of terror, disgust, disappointedness and hungover chaos, my body was figuratively loop-screaming FUCK YOU in my ear and  I decided I had to take myself away from a place with a party. I remembered how drunk I had come back to the hostel, had tried to practice my yoga headstand thinking I wasn’t thaaat drunk and of course had fallen over. Messy times. I decided to get a bus for Brasilia and spend some days honouring my degree in urban planning. I had a walk through a rainy, 18 degree São Paulo, went up a skyscraper, had a bibimbap in the asian hood and then dashed on to my new destination. Being a good student: urban planning monument Brasilia

Brasilia is Brazil’s 1960s new capital, a city built from scratch with modernist principles. Brasilia was interesting, like a museum, but nothing more than that. It is a prime example of megalomaniac building from a totalitarian view of society, of the idea that the built environment can reduce the complexity of the human to a network of highways and pre-planned public spaces. A rigidity that shows in many ways how it doesn’t work. First of all, Brasilia was planned to accommodate 500,000 government workers and supporting workers. The idea that the city could grow was not planned for, so nowadays, there are numerous satellite cities, some of which are connected to the city only with highways (which makes the city hell for pedestrians). This boy took a bike out one day and had to cross 4-lane highways to even get through the city, on paths that were formed in the grass by people who also had chosen to ride a bicycle but had not found a path to do so. But even in the central city, if you are a pedestrian, you are the last priority. Want to cross the 6-lane highway from the central strip of grassy fields (really they:re not much more than that) to a ministry? Take the pedestrian crossing 500m further, cross, and walk 500m back. So basically it’s like walking in a museum with deathtraps.Second of all, public transport is ooovercrowded. The bus station is full and needs to be expanded. So there goes your perfectly planned futuristic city where you thought there’s no need for any other infrastructure but for the car, because everyone would have a car. Nuh-uh. They built a metro too but it only takes half the planned city. Why?! And then third of all, informal economies. The bus station is full of people with blankets selling random stuff. And of course. It’s Brazil, so this was bound to happen. Anyway, getting way too elaborate about this. Conclusion: Brasilia is interesting but we do not need the city planning from the 60s again.

However we do need recycled dinosaurs and planet-like buildings in our cities.

An idyllic ending

After Brasilia I took a bus ride to Recife. 2 days again. God, why do I do these things to myself? Anyway, when I asked about the north of Brazil people told me: “ahhhh, the north… it’s great, the people are so full of life there..” and it turned out to be true. The place breathes culture, a love for outdoor life, and life is so colourful. And Recife is a biiiiig city. But it is somehow so relaxed, set on the sea, with palms, with that humid warm wind that I recognised from the Carribean, with old mouldy factories with vaguened paint… and even better was my stay in Olinda (oh, linda…) where the town was full of beautiful little coloured colonial houses, carnaval puppets in the windows of the neighbours, and amazing views of the Miami-like skyline of Recife. I spent a few very relaxed and beautiful days there, and felt like I should have stayed to write a book about the richness of life. I mean, one evening we were in the hostel and a weird artist comes up to us to sell us some art pieces he made. Another day I was drinking a caipirinha on the street (yes I was quite the alcoholic again) and a woman starts having a massive drunk monologue to a random dude asking for money. One evening we’re outside watching over the skyline as two cats start fighting in the street below. A woman comes out with a broom, hits the cats with the broom, and walks back into the house in full attitude mode murmuring something like: “fucking cats…”

It was these little things that made life so rich and colourful the last few days and then before I knew it, it was time to say goodbye. In the queue of the airport it hit me and I had to shed a few caipirinha-flavoured tears. Fuck me, what an incredible ride. My last thoughts in that momennt were this: Latin America you have completely seduced me and bankrupted me, and when I can, I will be back. Adios meu amor... Back on the mother continent, a reverse culture shock

And then I got back. I had a stopover in Lisbon and it was terrible to see so many badly-dressed white people. I mean, who still wears those shirts from C&A with white and blue horizontal&vertical stripes and without arms? Unacceptable. It was really that terrible a sight that I thought I would have a hard time resettling and would tumble right into a post-travel depression. But now I’m back, spending a month in the Netherlands after a few days of visiting Berlin, and really, life is quite fine (now that it’s summer). I had a walk through Berlin the first day being back and it was as if Berlin was eager to have me back. Not even 5 minutes after I began my little flaneuring, I encountered a man on a bike making hawk sounds. 2 minutes later a girl asks me the way, laughing, because she lost her phone and is useless without Google Maps. I feed the swans, and ducks, in Kreuzberg’s canal. And I rediscover a drink I totally forgot existed, Club Mate! The joy I felt at that point was off the charts. And then I also got that pure Berlin experience of eating a falafel and having half the ingredients falling down my buttoned-open shirt. I could have missed the moody cashiers in the supermarket though. What a customer service to not greet the person right in front of you… and there were some other annoyances that made the first days back a little bit of a love/hate thing.

Having said all of that, after a few days of feeling weird and slightly reverse-culture-shocked, I learned to appreciate life in the Netherlands again too (but of course with the usual frustrations). One great thing, the bike paths are so perfectly manicured and it makes getting around on a longboard amazing. The other day I even saw a road with bike lanes on both sides, PLUS a two-way separated bike lane on the side. Only in the Netherlands. And it is so nice to be in a place where people say hi and bye to the bus driver. Apart from that, I’m now doing a minijob where I’m visiting many places in my childhood neighbourhood for surveys about recycling. It’s quite interesting and frankly quite mind-expanding to visit homes and find so many different people you didn’t know, and didn’t know had such diverse lives. And almost everyone, also the place where the ‘white trash’ (according to mom and dad) of the hood lives is nice, and recycles. So life is good at the moment. But, I have just one thing to say to white Europeans who are too inhibited to dance on the street during a party: MOVE YOUR ASS. Your mother didn’t give you your ass for nothing. And yes and there’s a reason I say this: I found a jazz festival in Rotterdam last weekend and was absolutely stupefied to find that all the people around me (who were enjoying the music quite obviously) were only awkwardly nodding their heads to the beat and moving extremely conservatively. After the 5th time of the singer trying to get people to dance, people would dance. A little bit. Beh! If I have learned one thing this journey it’s that political situations can be fucked up and so can be your national or personal history. But there is never, never, NEVER a reason not to shake your booty and make life colourful. Sweet readers, take this to heart. I hope you have enjoyed my stories as much as I have enjoyed living them, and writing about them. In fact, I have enjoyed it so much that I want to take some time for thought and think of how I can keep meaningfully writing. Mis amores, unos besos con sabor de flores.

Yours now slightly Latino,

The boy you know as Elmerino