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hargrove-mayfields · 3 years

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for @magellan-88!

When Hawkins’ class of ‘85 graduated high school, Billy was the first to take off, halfway back to San Francisco before the caps even touched the ground.

Everyone gave hats off to him for being one of the few who’d ever make it out of the dying ghost town that was Hawkins, but as much as he hated that place and all its confines, he felt like he had left behind a lot.

The job wasn’t what he really wanted to do anyways, his house, when he was still staying there, was cramped, and after only a couple of months, the town had no sentimental value to him. The only thing he couldn’t help but feel bad about ditching, and that amounted to a whole lot of regret on his part, were the people.

Not the girls who swooned over him or the half made friendships he’d been neglecting since they formed anyways either, but he had his little sister, to whom he promised he’d drop everything and come back the second she said the word, and he also had Steve.

His relationship with Steve was a little blurrier, the two of them had gotten to the point of calling each other friends just after Christmas, best friends by the time Neil kicked Billy out for nothing but turning the big one-eight in april, and he was left crashing on the Harrington’s designer couch until he was free to leave Hawkins.

That’s where Steve would’ve ended the story at least, but as for Billy, he’d fallen ass over tits in love for his best friend in a matter of a smoldering gaze at a Halloween party.

Of all the many things he regrets about his short time in that cramped little town, he’d have to say the biggest was not having worked up the courage to fess up about his little crush before he skipped town to live it up more than two thousand miles away, mostly because that had been the only of his mistake he never took any time to resolve.

So it was that when Steve, apparently completely forgetting about the existence of time zones, calls him up at five in the morning to ask if he could come out to visit his new place in the golden state in a few weeks, Billy senses a pretty big opportunity.

What Steve had always done when Billy was staying at his place was cover the couch in the upstairs foyer, as he was made to call it, in layers of spare pillows and blankets, making it up like a bed for him. If he could, he would’ve let him have the guest bedroom, but that was out of the question when every other night that Steve’s parents were home, they argued and John had to take the spare.

But Billy doesn’t have a spare room, and he isn’t too sure about doing the same for Steve in his new apartment.

The problem isn’t that he can't, he has a brand new couch, bought from an actual furniture store instead of an old busted up one at thrift (or that he brought in off the curb and said was bought at thrift) and it’s even got a pull out to make things easier. He’d spent too many dozens of nights on Steve’s couch, staring up at the way high ceiling and wishing he had the guts to make a move, that he doesn’t think his yearning heart can take being just down the hall from him again, especially not with the promise that in a few weeks time, there’d be that vast, looming space between them again.

So he’s settled on it, Steve is going to sleep in his bed. He’s just gotta find a way to get him there, and that’s simple enough, he just has to pretend there’s nowhere else for him to sleep.

Now, he’ll admit that his plan on selling that idea is shaky at best, but Steve is bone tired when he gets there a few days later, his first time flying and dealing with jet lag taking everything he has out of him, so really, he’s looking to crash as soon as they get up to Billy’s apartment.

Only, he notices immediately that the couch isn’t set up like a bed like he usually would have done it up, and he looks to Billy with a slight tilt of his head, confusion in those big puppy-dog eyes.

So Billy answers, trying not to be too smug about it, “Sorry man, couch is out of the question.”

“Why?” Steve asks, then thinks better of it, knowing Billy’s history, “Actually, hold that thought, I don’t think I want to know.”

That makes Billy laugh, makes him remember why he fell in love with Steve in the first place too, “Nothing gross this time, s’just brand new. Can’t have you drooling all over the furniture that cost me two months of rent.”

“Right. So.. where am I going to sleep then?”

“I’ve got a bed, Steve.”

“Well duh, but I’m not going to kick you out of your own bed.”

“I didn’t say that. You’re not the only one with a queen sized now. I got room for two.”

“But.. is that going to be weird?” Steve asks, shifting on his feet, like the suggestion makes him uncomfortable, and Billy almost backs out then, lies about how he was just messing around to test Steve, but he sticks to his guns, saying, “Only if you make it weird. Don’t have much of a choice anyhow, unless you want to sleep in the bathtub.”

Steve insists on arguing though, “What’s wrong with sleeping on the floor?”

“Dude, this is a shitty ass apartment. I live here and I don’t even know half of the nasty shit that’s been on this floor.”

“Fine, just as long as I have a place to sleep.” Steve half-mumbles, cut off by a yawn, obviously too tired to keep pressing the issue.

He saunters off to Billy’s room not too long after that, not even changing out of his clothes before he’s throwing himself face down in his bed, leaving Billy to do his entire nighttime routine while Steve makes himself right at home, assuming that after brushing his teeth and putting his hair up, changing out of his jeans and triple checking that the doors and windows were locked tight, that’d be enough time for Steve to fall asleep.

That however, does not happen to be the case.

Billy knew from sleeping just down the hall from Steve’s bedroom that he snored like a motherfucker, and from the times he had fallen asleep on the basketball bus after a game that Steve never stopped moving in his sleep, but he was truly not prepared for how difficult it was for Steve to get to sleep in the first place.

He understands it, he remembers how hard it had been trying to relax in the silence that surrounded the country, and since that was all Steve was used to, it wasn’t exactly a surprise that the sounds of the city were hard for him to tune out and just sleep.

What he doesn’t understand is how Steve doesn’t wear himself out tossing and turning, and after at least an hour of it, Billy’s got to wonder if this is a princess and the pea type situation, some messed up spring in his mattress making this arrangement not proper for the royalty at his side.

Billy can tell he wants to talk, from the way he keeps feeling Steve’s eyes on his back, the tapping of his fingers against the headboard, which, if they got to talking he might not even need part two of his plan, but Steve doesn’t ever say anything just sighs with every chime on the clock, another hour he can’t get to sleep.

It isn’t until three in the morning rolls around that Steve finally conks out, Billy himself still barely awake enough to shoot his shot, draping himself over Steve and pulling him close before he has a chance to roll over onto his front again, falling asleep with his crush in his arms.

~~~~

The sun’s not up yet, and the clock’s too blurry to say exactly what time it is when Steve wakes up again, realizing after a few minutes that he’s hot as hell, and didn’t immediately start tossing and turning again, which, once he’s actually woken up enough to think, he discovers that the only reason that is is because Billy is pressed against his back, his arm thrown over his side, spooning him and basically keeping him held there in place.

Steve at first tries not to think about it, the whole, sleeping in the same bed as the person he deliberately never did that with to avoid facing his feeling, and just get comfortable with Billy all cuddled up to him, but he’s a front sleeper, and Billy is fucking hot in more ways than one, so when it’s evident that’s not going to work, he clears his throat, announcing into the silence, “You’re smotherin’ me, Bill.”

There’s a sharp intake of breath behind him, like Billy had just woken up, and a soft little hum of a question, “Hm?”

“You’re like, on top of me, man.” Steve informs him, like he didn’t notice he was half laying on him, but Billy answers bluntly, voice all tired and scratchy, “Don’t care.”

That sort of confuses Steve. He’d been expecting an apology, for Billy to roll over and them to pretend this never happened in the morning, and it’s got his mind, and his heart, racing a mile a minute, because Billy isn’t the only one with a helpless crush, there’s a reason Steve flew 2,000 miles just to see him.

So he asks, before he can lead himself on, “Just to be clear, is this an accidental thing that only isn’t awkward because we’re friends or is this like, meaningful?”

Billy just hums, pulling him even closer, making Steve feel small, “Go to sleep, Steven.”

“Okay.” He tries to, shoving his arm under the pillows and shifting under Billy’s weight so he’d be comfortable enough, but it’s just nagging at his lovesick brain, “But seriously man, I don’t know what I should take away from this.”

Billy sighs softly, rubbing his eyes with his knuckles, maybe because he was tired, maybe because Steve was being Steve, “Look, you’re in my bed, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, because of the couch, I thought you were just a cuddler or something.”

“Nope. This was all by design.”

“So then the couch..”

“Was perfectly fine, yeah. Damn thing even has a fold out.”

“You did this on purpose?”

“Thought I made that pretty obvious.”

Steve pouts, sitting up so Billy has to let go of him, “Well if you’re so annoyed with me, I’ll just leave you to get back to sleep.”

“Oh no. It’s much too late for that. I’m thinking we’re going to have to find another way to spend the time now. And, well, since you’re already here...”

#harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove #ej writer #story by ej!#this took ages and I’m really very sorry about that #I hit a huge writers block because of school stress and stuff #but it’s here! and other requests will be being written too!#as well as new chapters on my fics!#basically this is your sign that I’m being productive again!

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trvelyans-archive · 3 years

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i am on my hands and knees begging for u to tell me about lila and margot 🙏

jasmine.............. thank you for this gift

under the cut because i expect it’ll get very long <3 :) update after i finished writing: it is, in fact, very long and also took me over an hour. so. take that as whatever sort of warning you might want.

let’s start with margot !

she was born to a couple of really young parents who..... did not want to be parents. at all. they were still in the party-and-get-drunk phase of their life and didn’t want to have a kid to worry about, so a large part of her childhood was spent couch surfing between relatives, mostly her grandfather.

they were really close! he would help her with her homework, they would cook together, he would let her drink underage so that she was well-versed in beer by the time she was like. idk. 16 lol. but she felt closer to him than her own parents, who were good when they were around but. they mostly weren’t around <3

when she was 19, her grandpa starting showing pretty serious signs of memory loss and whatnot and eventually had to be moved into a home. she was living with him by that point, so she had to continue to spend a year or so of her adult life couchsurfing. it didn’t help that she was in school full-time to get an engineering degree of. some kind. i think mechanical engineering. idk. and didn’t have a job, so to pay back her roommates she took up a majority of the housework as well as picked up odd jobs on the weekend. her grandpa’s health continued to decline through this time so she didn’t actually mind being busy because then she. didn’t have to think about it at all <3

and then.............. when she was 20......... her boyfriend of a year suggested that she not only move in with him but that they get married and margot, who has never had stability ever in her life, jumped at the opportunity !

after she graduated, she found it incredibly hard to find a career (even though they were in the same program and He had no trouble finding one), so she was back to not working but her husband didn’t mind and he supported her whole-heartedly. during this time she started running and then eventually started going to a gym with a couple of her female friends from their neighbourhood! she would also spend a lot of time at her grandpa’s but his health was still rapidly declining. eventually her now-husband said that she should probably stop visiting him and margot was like “.... ok i guess”

And then. :)

she kept spending time outside of the house and started taking self-defense classes with a few of her friends and her husband was started to get very antsy. he wanted her to be at home, told her that he didn’t like her going out at night or, eventually, at all, and would find ways to keep her home every night so she didn’t go out. during this time he also started getting. um. very manipulative. he was easily triggered into starting arguments. so she increased the frequency of her self-defense classes and, eventually, they became Very Useful in an argument with her husband. so. we hate him :)

after that she filed for a divorce, moved away and changed her name to her late grandmother’s last name. she started working at a gym in her new town and eventually decided to open her own ! she had gotten the building about 2-3 weeks before the outbreak hit and didn’t have any furniture or equipment of any kind, so she met up with 2 middle-aged women from her old gym and they travelled together until one of them was bitten in a fight with walkers and dragged into a big crowd of them to be eaten and the other one was bitten and margot had to shoot her when she got zombified and tried to attack. :(

that’s where i have left off for now but i am going to develop her More the more i watch the show !!!

okay. backstory over. now for the fun bits:

her faceclaim is mackenzie davis specifically in terminator (without the. lines on her arms and whatever idk what those are) and this picture is the most margot-vibe imaginable.

the haircut was an incredibly recent choice but it came in handy during the outbreak because she didn’t have to worry about keeping hair out of her face. girlboss !

she is 6′2 :) her and her husband were funnily enough the 2 tallest people in her graduating class

she spoke occasionally to her parents after graduating and moving away but they fell out of touch a year or so before the outbreak began and she......................... unsurprisingly doesn’t miss them at all

she has 1 keepsake and it’s an old keychain of her grandpa’s and if anything happens to it. she will kill everyone in any room and Then herself !!!

she likes to where tank tops to show off her big arms. is this very ergonomical in the apocalypse where zombie bites can kill you instantly ? nope! will she do it anyway to intimidate people ? yup!

she Cannot cook. at all. she lived off of take-out and microwavable meals for the first 20 years of her life and then she always had someone else making food for her until she moved away on her own when it was back to takeout.

on the topic of food :) her fave foods are mac and cheese with breadcrumbs and meatlover’s pizza !

she will do literally anything for a good beer. anything. she keeps an eye out for them every time she goes scavenging in buildings and will try to get at least 1 bottle per trip. girlboss !

she cannot sing. in fact she’s not just average, she’s Terrible. she can, however, play mad guitar because her grandpa taught her.

now onto miss lila :)

she was born in a town a couple over from rick’s and was the younger sister of 2 ! she had a really great family and a very very happy childhood :) her dad was a wildlife rehabilitator and her mom was a landscaper who took a lot of pride in their nice big backyard and garden and Land where they. you know. rehabiliated the wildlife and what not

she worked a lot with her dad and mom at their wildlife centre and also helped her mom garden a lot (their house was on the same property as the centre so it was a nice big plot of land). she took a lot of interest in rehabilitating animals and it sparked a very early childhood interest in Caring for things (namely little wild critters) which extended to her helping out little kids on the playground when they got scraped knees and things. she always had a package of bandaids in her backpack from second grade on. an angel <3

in her final year of high school she had a very quick fling with a boy from her high school that ended… poorly. and then she got pregnant! which she. Did not expect. nor want. nor need in her life because she was planning on moving to atlanta to go to medical school and kickstart her career. her sister, who had recently dropped out of school and lost her job, decided to Take One for the team and claim the baby as hers so lila could go to medical school and stuff. their parents promised to take good care of her and they all made a plan to hide lila’s pregnancy from their town (although i’m sure literally everyone knows anyway) and then she moved away in the summer after giving birth to go to school

she quickly finished up her nursing program but was out of job for a few years until she got a job offer to be the nurse at king county elementary school aka the school were one Carl Grimes goes to school. she moved there in may and one night, when her car Squealed to a stop in front of a dog who had run away from his home and was being chased by. Um. a certain sheriff’s deputy who was intending on bringing the puppy back home <3 they got to talking and. Well. the rest is history…..

she was a very beloved member of the staff and kids would often fake sick just to come to her office and get a sucker and she grew esp close to the grimes family :D after a couple of years living in king county she got a job to start working at some fancy prep school in atlanta and decided that actually she might want to. You know. start being a mom now that she was finished with school and had a career. so she moved away from king county at the end of the next school year and was unfortunately in atlanta when it was bombed by the government at the start of the outbreak so she and her daughter and sister all died :) and that’s that !

some fun facts because that was a very depressing end to her story:

she always has suckers in her office at school and her favourites are the watermelon ones.

she can often be found gardening in her backyard or watching the birds in the trees like a little nature baby !!!

she is very meticulous about planning. she Does have a daily agenda. she Will kill you if you touch it. shane likes to leave her little notes in it for her to find when she’s at school. sometimes they are not Just cute. she usually erases those.

she likes collecting ugly thrift store paintings of animals and hangs them up in her dining room and she Does think they are incredibly funny.

she is a vegetarian !!! very unwavering about it. shane finds it annoying because he’s good at cooking steak but she just has a salad and then they’re both perfectly happy <3

sends basically everyone she knows a Christmas/holiday card every year. even the teachers at the elementary school who don’t like her and or barely talk to her !!!

she is a terrible maker of tea and usually forgets about cups before she’s even halfway through them (thank god for her). makes everyone tea when they come over except shane (stupid ass) because he doesn’t like it and usually people just politely swallow it even though it’s too steeped or. sorry idk how tea works. she just Makes It Bad ok

she perpetually forgets to do laundry. Most of her non-scrubs have dirt stains or dressing stains or whatnot (except for her Really nice clothes) which is why she tries to buy a lot of patterns. makes things easier to hide <3

and that’s it for now !!! i have so much other lore for them but i will stop here for now :) thank you very much if you read this also i’m very sorry i have twd brainworms i cannot help it. anyway ok that’s it thanks love you bye

#me writing nearly 2k of oc facts that is literally nothing more than comprehensible gibberish ? yes #also ig i'm just a villainfucker now sorry not sorry babes can't be helped when your villains are mr. jon bernthal :/#BUT ALSO we only stan pre-outbreak. after that he is dead to me so.#ANYWAY YEAH JESUS CHRIST these are probably shitty backstories and also just um lame ocs but <3 that's that #oc: margot #oc: lila #ask #thank u jasmine.... i love u

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blissfulalchemist · 4 years

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“You can share my jacket with me, since you’re shivering.” + dealer's choice!

Thank you Kate! Look at me posting some writing with Hypatia without formal introduction. I hope you enjoy it. X

Cities were never much my thing. Even as a kid I always felt this need to get away to find open space, so much so my mom used to joke about putting me on a rocket to the stars, then I could have all the space I wanted. So while St. Louis was no New York or Los Angeles it was still a city and so it felt like a prison, a feeling that didn’t get better by being cooped up inside a building near twenty four seven. Those of us that were recruited were only allowed outside, fully equipped with fresh air, with supervision at specific times of the day, and then confined to our rooms once night came. Those were the rules and for me….rules were made to be broken. After a few failed attempts I managed to find the one way I could always, one hundred percent guaranteed, have access to the roof in the dead of night. My small haven on nights I couldn’t sleep, the moments of peace I could cling too.

Two years, I had spent two years with the Alchemists readying myself for whatever they had in mind for me. Though they never said much about what they wanted from me specifically but it seemed so far that I was to stay at one of their biggest facilities, never to be transferred out. I had seen other witches come through the doors, get some training or teach some class, and then leave just like that. Some of the women giddy with excitement about where they were being sent too, others rolling their eyes about how their job was probably going to be desk work, but I never left. Little orphan Annie, I stayed where I was, mastering my craft and being put through so much physical training I almost wanted to ask if I was to become an assassin. Not that they’d tell me, it was a need to know and I wasn’t in the loop that needed to know. Soon though, I hoped that it would be soon I would have a chance at my first field run to show them I was more than ready to help them in their cause.

For now I’m left sitting on the edge of this building looking up to the few stars I can make out and the cityscape sounds below me. I can hear footsteps as they approach the door on the far end of the roof, panic surging in my body for only a moment. I swing my legs back over from the edge, ducking down behind some electrical boxes, peeking just over the edge, heart pounding. The door opens and a figure steps out into the low lighting, male and tall, with a medium build. His clothing is a white collared shirt and beige blazer with matching pants, typical stiff Alchemist fashion. His features become more detailed as he leaves the shadow of the door, his auburn hair is falling into his grey eyes, hands in his pockets walking in my direction. The smile he wears almost hides the golden lily on his cheek from this angle as I stand, meeting his smile with a small eye roll, “No unauthorized personnel allowed up here Caro.” I cross my arms, shifting my weight onto my left leg, “Last I checked you’re not authorized.”

I smirk cocking an eyebrow, “And last I checked, neither are you, Conner,” he chuckles pushing his hair back, the pieces falling back to where they were, “Thought you left for the day already?”

He jumps up on the electric box crossing his legs beneath him, “Went to go and check on you and the recruits.”

My eyes widened, biting my lower lip, looking to the ground, “And you didn’t find me where I was supposed to be.”

Conner taps his nose twice, “Third time this month, T,” my mouth falls open and my heart races, “Don’t worry. I haven’t told and don’t plan too.” I let out a sigh taking a seat next to him.

“Not like they could do much about it if you did,” I shrug flipping my hair behind my shoulder. It seems I need to make the illusion spell stronger.

“I don’t even get a thank you,” he shakes his head playfully, “Typical Caro move,” he turns to me, face serious, “They could punish you still if they did find out though.”

I snort, “How? By transferring me out of this place,” I bring my knees to my chest, “I’d be glad for it. I’m starting to hate everything about this place.”

“You can’t hate everything about this place,” he says softly leaning his arms on his knees, “Can you?”

I glance over to him frowning as I see his solemn face, “No. Not everything.” I nudge his shoulder gently with mine, “Don’t hate you Conner. You’re about the only best thing about this place.”

The smile returns, “I could say the same about you, Tia,” I feel the corner of my lips start to pull into a smile, “If I felt that you were the best thing about this place, but the cappuccino machine takes that spot.” I groan rolling my eyes, of course he’d never admit to it, if he did it could be seen as getting too close to the “impure” witches. The Alchemists couldn't have that, nope, not while we still used our unnatural magic. All of us that joined made a vow to forgo our magic once the mission was over allowing ourselves to be pure once more. We both look to the city below us, the passing of headlights on the freeway grabbing our attention the most, “I always loved to see cities from above like this. Highways always reminded me of a river.” I scoff, rolling my eyes, “What was that for,” he asks, a smile evident.

“What was what,” I mock looking away from him to my right, nose pointing up.

He mimics my scoffing, “That. What was that for,” Conner pokes my shoulder a few times. “You got a problem with my views on the city?”

The longer I hold back any kind of response his teasing gets worse, until I groan, pushing his hand away, “I don’t have problems with them,” he rests his chin on his hand, eyes tired fixated on me, Conner doesn’t believe me. “I don’t honestly,” my hands are held up in defense, crossing my legs like him, “Just seems typical of a city boy to say something like that.”

Conner laughs, “Oh I see how it is now,” he shakes his head, “I didn’t live in anything close to a city until I was sixteen and even then it was only a small town.”

“What did you live on a farm before that,” I clear my throat, readying a terrible southern accent, “Hey y’all, my name’s Conner and this here is ma horse.”

I laugh as he rolls his eyes, “You think you’re real cute with your antics don’t you?”

“I think I’m down right adorable.”

“You’re far from adorable.”

“You got a better word to describe me farm boy?” I lean towards him resting my chin on his shoulder, my lips near brushing his slowly reddening cheek.

“I do,” he faces me, lips close to mine, whispering, “Annoying.”

I clutch my chest pulling away from him, “You wound me, Smallville,” the back of my hand makes contact with my forehead, leaning back, “I shall never recover from such an insult.”

“You insult me all the time.”

“I do not,” I lie, mouth falling open, “How can you accuse me of such a thing, cornhusker?”

“Just this morning you said the coffee had better taste than me for hair styles,” he starts to count on his fingers, “Then there was the other day where you said I was so stiff that even a stick wouldn’t fit up my ass. Or the time you said I don’t even shop at a thrift store for my clothing but the knock off of thrift stores.”

“Those are facts not insults,” I correct.

Conner gives a smirk, the only way his dimples show, shaking his head, “Guess it’s just tomato, tomato with you isn’t it. Also are you going to keep going with the farm related nicknames now?”

“Just until something sticks, Kansas.”

He runs a hand down his face, “I didn’t even grow up on a farm you know that right? You just assumed that.”

“So you just grew up in a house in the middle of nowhere?”

“Not really,” he leans back on his hands, eyes looking to the sky, “It was a single street with some houses scattered around it. The school I went to was next to the store, which was next to the bed and breakfast, and so on.” I stare as his eyes become a little glassy with the memories, “Our house was on a few acres of land, still within walking distance, and we had a garden.”

I almost want to laugh at the idea of him tending to different flowers, hands and hair filled with the blossoms, I don’t though, not with the look of happiness in his eyes, “Your mom a florist?”

He smiles, “Yeah. I guess so when you really think about it.” His head rolls to look at me lazily, “Guess we end up craving what we never got in the end.”

I tilt my head, “What do you mean?”

“You grew up in a city your whole life and yet when we found you, you were traveling the open road,” my heart aches at the mention of my life before here and how I may never have that again, “Always seemed to stick to the big open spaces of the desert.”

I flinch, “How do you know it's the desert that I spend the most time in?” Were they watching me for a lot longer than they told me originally? If they were, the question became why?

“Whenever I ask you about your favorite places you always respond with places in the southwest,” he says matter of factly. I should have guessed, Conner’s smart and the only person I have real conversations with in this place. He looks me up and down, the wind has started to blow harder sending a chill through my body, “Your clothing also says a lot about your weather preference.” I look down to the dark purple tank top, with jean cutoff shorts, fishnet stockings, and black boots, my eyes narrowing.

He laughs as I give a light punch to his arm, “It does not. I just like dressing this way.”

“Tell me this then: Do you own anything heavier than a jean jacket?” I look away grumbling, crossing my arms, the goosebumps prominent, “Thought so. You never see yourself as needing one since you’ll never go as far north as Utah.” I hate that he’s right, even in the summers I never go much farther and the forests somehow feel just as packed as the city. I always keep saying one day, but it never came, an excuse always coming up as to why I couldn’t and shouldn’t go. I shiver again, rubbing my arms, Conner already shrugging off his blazer, “Here,” he places it on my shoulders, “You can share my jacket with me, since you’re shivering.”

I push my arms though the sleeves, the warmth spreading through me as I inhale the spearmint and fresh cut pine lingering from his aftershave. “Thanks,” I smile, my dark hair blowing in the wind hiding the small blush I can feel on my cheeks, “Don’t think that I’ll be nice to you after this though.”

Conner laughs, lying back on the box, letting his legs hang off the edge, “Wouldn’t expect anything else from you Patia.” I shoot him a glare at the near use of my full name, “It’s not your full name, so I can get away with it.”

I sigh, stretching myself next to him, “For now, but you're on thin ice buddy.” My eyes search the stars picking out the different constellations hoping to see the one on my pendant.

“Why do you like the open spaces of the desert so much, T,” I hum, my mental star map lost for a moment, “The one thing I never really understood. I mean it’s pretty but there’s always something more with you to places.”

My hands reach for the silver pendant resting at the hollow of my collar bone, tracing the black engraved stars in the connecting parallelograms of Orion, “The stars. You can see all the stars at night.”

“That why you come up here?” I can feel his grey eyes on me as he shift slightly to get a better look, “To take in the ten stars that are visible?”

My brow knits, frowning as I turn to face him, “There’s more than ten stars to be seen here.”

He shakes his head, “I have counted many times over and I only get about ten, sometimes twenty on a really good night.”

I scoot closer to him, grabbing his hand, pointer finger out, “Let me show you. I can point out three constellations and the other stars I can see.” As I make invisible lines he keeps shaking his head, the lights hard to see or not there at all he claims. “I think you need to get your eyes checked, C-man,” I declare, shaking my head sadly, “cause you might be going blind and I can’t have that happen.”

“And why is that?”

“Because your life will fall to shambles if you can’t be graced with my beauty, that's why.”

He groans covering his face, “God what am I going to do with you?”

“You should be asking what you would do without me,” I tease, laughing at his features getting more tired with each word coming out of my mouth.

“I think it’s time to send you back into your cage for the night now,” he says, sitting up.

I whine, I know he’s doing it more for my safety, I’ve already spent too much time out here and the next checks would be coming soon. “Few more minutes,” I place my hand over his, Conner’s eyes glancing between his hand and my face a few times, “Please. You get to have me all to yourself for a little while longer.”

He stiffens, silent for a few moments before he swallows, nodding, “Okay. Just a few more minutes Caro.” Conner settles next to me, gaze avoiding me, keeping to the sky. The heat from his coat vanishing, the warmth of him that replaces it is enough to make the night wind more bearable, and I just know that the smell of spearmint will linger in my hair for the rest of the night. He really needs a new aftershave, he was never going to get a date with the scent of spearmint. That’s something for me to tell him tomorrow, because for now I just want to enjoy this moment of peace I’ll cling on to.

#hypatia caro oc #opinions and feedback are much appreciated #I'm also testing out potential partner for her as I will have to make one

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frankieabii · 5 years

Text

|| Dear No One || Ch. 1

Summary: Bay St.James was perfectly happy crushing on guys from afar and writing love letters that she never dreamed she’d send. So what happens when the letters she prayed no one ever saw, suddenly got sent out to their intended recipients? Especially when one of those happens to be Bay’s sister’s boyfriend!

Pairing: Jungkook x OC, Yoongi x OC, Jimin x OC, Taehyung x OC, Hoseok x OC, Namjoon x OC, Jin x OC

Genre: Fluff, Romance, To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before!au, High School!au, Fake Dating!au, Friends To Lovers!au

Word Count: 1595

Warnings: none

Author’s Note: Holy crap my friends I am so freaking excited to post this story! I’m a HUGE ASS fan of TATBILB and I just HAD TO put it into a series. thanks to @chan-yolo for being so supportive of me writing this and reading everything for me lmao. CHAPTER 1 IS HERE!

For as long as I can remember, I have liked to save things, never anything important or relevant like the planet or an endangered species, hell, or even a cat stuck in a tree! It was always small things, charms, trinkets; like those small ugly porcelain figures you can find in thrift shops. Hair scrunchies by the bucket load. Love letters. Out of everything I have ever saved, my love letters are the things that mean the most to me.

The letters are kept hidden in a lilac box, topped with a silk rose that my mom got me when I was a child, from an old store in our town that no longer exists. They aren’t love letters, romantic notions, that someone else has written to me; I don’t get those. No, these are ones that I have written myself, and there's one for every boy I have ever loved - seven in total.

The first was Jungkook, when I was seven years old. Jungkook Jeon was the son of one of my mom's friends, a couple of years younger than myself but cuter than a bunny in spring. Floppy dark hair that always fell into in big brown eyes, and a little smile that resembled that of a bunny rabbit, tiny, sweet and blushing. I remember him coming over for playdates with myself and my sisters, which always ended up with us picking the games, overruling all ideas that Jungkook had had, insisting that we play house, dress up or have a tea party. I cringe at the thought now, how mean it was to force this five-year-old boy into tiaras and fairy wings, to be the dad when we played house. It went along for a year, until his dad got a job overseas and they moved away. I wrote the letter the day I found out he moved.

Next was Yoongi Min, a boy a year older than my nine-year-old self. He wasn't much taller than me but had warm brown eyes and a small smile when he was shy and a big gummy smile that could light up a room when he was laughing. Our dads worked together at the time, and his dad held a Christmas party for several of his work colleagues and their families, and my family was invited. It was a nice party, fancy food and glittering decorations that hung from the ceiling, and I enjoyed it until my nine-year-old self was unknowingly stood under mistletoe next to Yoongi. His mom insisted that he kiss me, as I was stood frozen in fear, he pressed a quick kiss to my cheek and then ran away very promptly, not before giving me one of his precious gummy smiles. I wrote Yoongi’s letter on New Year's Eve, and my dad got a new job a week later.

When I was eleven years old, there was Jimin Park, angelic face and innocent eyes that turned moon-shaped when he smiled or laughed. My mom had signed me up to dance lessons, and Jimin was assigned to be my partner. He moved so gracefully and elegantly, whilst I stomped around like an elephant in an awful mood. He was always so eager to help me perfect the dances and the movements, always patient when I struggled and enthusiastic when I got it right. Then, for Jimin, puberty hit like a bat out of hell and suddenly every girl wanted to be his dance partner, and I was cast aside like yesterdays news. Jimin’s letter was written in anger, that day after I got home, and refused a dance lesson ever again.

I fell in love with Taehyung Kim when I was thirteen years old at Evergreen Summer Camp. Taehyung had long dark hair that fell onto his eyes when he laughed, and a boxy smile that made him charmingly adorable. He was smart and funny, and was always causing mischief around the camp that my mom had insisted on sending me to, as my older sister Ivy had gone a few years prior and wanted to make it a tradition amongst my sisters and I. I followed him around like a lost puppy and clung onto his every word like a spider monkey, until he pushed me into the lake and laughed at me with his friends. I wrote his letter in my bunk, my hair matted with salt lake water.

Hoseok Jung was my first ever date. When his sunshine bright smile had asked me to a school dance when I was fourteen years old, I couldn’t say no. Hoseok had gotten me a flower to pin into my hair, that matched the one pinned onto the pocket of his shirt. We had laughed, and danced all night; myself horrifically and he danced with rhythm and excitement in every move. He kept dragging me out onto the dancefloor, even when I had protested that my feet were about to fall off, he spun me around the dancefloor like we were the only two in the room. He made my heart spin around the dancefloor too, so I wrote him a letter.

At 16 years old I fell in love with Namjoon Kim. With his blonde hair cut into a fashionable style; longer on top, with an undercut on the side, his black-framed glasses, the adorable dimples that graced his cheeks whenever he laughed or smiled, and his ability to recite a Friends quote for every occasion. Namjoon was smart, and somewhat popular, not through sports, mostly by association with the ‘in-crowd’, but still much more popular than myself and the friends I could count on one hand. It was about halfway through the school year when we were all invited to a party at one of the popular kid's houses, with smuggled alcohol and kids dancing on each other in every corner. Not exactly my scene, but coerced into going by my sister Ivy, and we somehow managed to get roped into playing a game of Spin The Bottle. And Namjoon was sat in the circle, his smile slightly hazy from alcohol he had consumed, but his eyes still bright and aware of what he was doing. So we took it turns to play, each of spinning the empty beer bottle, kissing whoever it landed on. The boys all whooped and hollered whenever someone kissed, and I buried myself further and further into my jumper, thankful that the bottle missed me each time. Until it was Namjoon's turn, that was. The bottle spun round and round, over and over until it achingly came to a stop and my feet, a blush rising to my cheeks in an instant, Ivy’s eyes widening in surprise. And so, playing by the rules, he kissed me. I wrote Namjoons letter a week later, after some several daydreams about that kiss.

And finally, number seven. Seokjin Kim. Jin. Jin is the year above me at school, and the year below Ivy, and moved into the house next door to us about four years ago. He and I became friends instantly, sharing the same taste in music and movies, and playing weird questions games for hours. I never really realized I had loved him until Jin and Ivy started dating about a year and a half ago. And then I wrote his letter.

When I write the letters, I don't hold back. I write about all the things I love, that annoy me, that makes me weak at the knees. Everything I think and feel goes into the letters, every secret thought, every careful glance of observation. Nothing is left out, as I write like he’ll never read the letter because he never will. And then when I’m done, the letter is sealed forevermore in an envelope, addressed, and then stored away in the lilac box.

But my letters aren’t love letters by definition. I write the love letters when I want the crush to be over. Done with. They’re goodbye to the feelings and thoughts that the crush gave to me. After I’ve written the letter, I feel a weight off of my heart and my shoulders, and I’m now longer weighed down by all-consuming love. I can go about my day like normal, I can watch a movie and eat popcorn and not wonder which sodas he likes to drink with his popcorn; apple tango for me, or if he’s more of a sprite kind of guy. I can sing along to songs on the radio and not be belting out my heart for him. My letters are my freedom, they set me free from my crush. Or at least I thought they would.

#bts #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts x oc #bts series #namjoon x oc #rm x oc #jin x oc #seokjin x oc #hoseok x oc #jhope x oc #jungkook x oc #jimin x oc #yoongi x oc #suga x oc #v x oc #taehyung x oc

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dreammutual-remade · 6 years

Text

high school!mark

request: highschool!mark if u love me plspls

word count: 5.5k

a/n: lucky that I love u anon hehehehe !!!!! also wOW I didnt mean to make this so god damn long itS REALLY JUST THESE GOD DAMN HIGH SCHOOL AUS IM WEAK FOR THEM OKAY. look at this cutie hOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO RESIST

mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung

warnings: the usual intermittent cussing and probably an inappropriate joke or two

this au is my Ultimate Weakness it makes me soft as hell alright

………………….

LETS DIVE IN

okay so your mom has a job that forces your family to move around….. A LOT

and while you’ve gotten used to it for the most part it still sucks having to leave people behind and make completely new friends once every couple of years

this time you’re moving to a new school for your SENIOR YEAR and you’re livid

bc like ??? it’s senior year and you have exactly zero (0) friends since you’re new,,, yet again

you Threw A Fit when you found out but your mom was like shut up you ingrate soon you’ll be in college and won’t even have to worry about it

so you, an ingrate, shut up :/

you move in a month before school starts and the house is nice and your room is cute so that’s a plus !!!!!

you hang up some pictures and organize all your cute little trinkets you’ve collected over the years aw

you’ve even got a lil succulent garden growing on your windowsill

ITS CUTE AS HELL OKAY

alright so you’re gonna go explore around town because you , don’t know where anything is and you wanna find some good spots to hang

you take the bus into the middle of town because who tf is tryna drive themselves amirite ladies

support ur local bus driver

anywhom this isn’t a HUGE town but it’s one of those cute towns where you can pretty much walk anywhere you need to go

(god i wish that were me)

so you spend all day just, walkin

you find a library and pick up some books …….

both for decoration and reading okay

and you find a couple of restaurants and write them down to try later along with some coffee shops and whatnot

eventually you’re tired and prolly a lil sweaty bc it’s summer and you’re outside and ugh

so you find a nice big park and a tree and sit down at the base of it to read and mindlessly sketch things in the margins of your book

whEN OUT OF NOWHERE

someone shouts

“HEY WATCH OUT”

and you look up just in time to dodge a sOCCER BALL HURTLING TOWARDS YOUR FACE

it bounces off the tree and rolls a couple feet away

“uhhhh holy shit” - you

you just kind of sit there astonished for 5 seconds before you get up to get the ball and look around for who saved your LIFE

and there’s boy jogging toward you looking extremely embarrassed

you meet him halfway to hand him the ball and he’s like

“oh mY GOD i’m so sorry i told them to settle down but they never listen to me and jisung just ??? doesn’t know how to not take everything seriously and he lost and got pissed and kicked it and we didn’t even kNOW you were over here and also i’m so sorry”

you smile and tell him it’s fine and hand him the ball

you go to get back to your tree and he’s like hey uh you there uh wait up

god he’s awkward

and you turn around to face him with an expectant look

“so um, what’s your name? i haven’t seen you around here before and like in case i ever gotta make this up to you you know ??”

cute

you tell him your name and stick out your hand to shake and he grabs it very hesitantly and tells you his name is mark

he has , very warm hands and they’re only slightly bigger than yours but that’s still cUTE

MARK HAS BABY HANDS I DARE U TO SAY HE DOESNT

he says he hopes you enjoy your book and he’ll make sure the boys don’t disturb you anymore than they already have

you wave as he goes and he gives you a smile over his shoulder and his cheeks are tinged pink and wOw this boy is a cutie patootie

you go back to your reading but now instead of doodling you’re just writing his name or drawing his big doe eyes or his smooth hands

(((((let’s pretend we’re all good at drawing okay god knows i can’t do much more than a stick figure)))))

the boys leave after an hour or two and you leave pretty soon after then because the sun is setting and you gotta be home for dinner

basically your mom wants to make sure you aren’t kidnapped and/or lost in a new town

which, to be fair, is not that unlikely

you have your headphones in and you’re leaned against the bus window half asleep as you go

bitch wake up youRE GONNA MISS YOUR STOP

it’s the same bus driver who saw you get on and honestly there aren’t a lot of people on the bus so he makes sure you get off

“hey you, girl back there, hEY! this is your stop girly”

you thank him profusely and tip him because uhhhh u gotta get home and like Not Lost

you skip home with your bag of books and miscellaneous items you found at the thrift store!!!

you bought a little figurine of a dragon and she’s beautiful her name is saraphina because why not

that’s completely irrelevant i’m so sorry

i have ADHD

anywhom

you walk in and you’re all like hey momma !!! how goes it !!:3

and your mom is Sus™️ because why are you in such a good mood

and you’re like !!! cause i had a good day okay love u bye i’m going to my rOOM

don’t let her question anymore or else she’ll dig out that you met a Cute Boy

you go to your room and get out all your purchases and organize them while you still have the motivation to do so

and yeah

you use one of the blank notes to start like a lil drawing diary of sorts ???? like just to draw stuff in whenever you’re inspired or you see something pretty

and you definitely saw smth pretty today ;))))))))

hint: ITS MARK

you try to draw him from memory but it doesn��t look quite right and like :(((((( how sad is that what if you don’t even see him again

the rest of the month passes pretty quickly in the same fashion

by now you’ve befriended the bus driver and he tells you all the cool secret nooks and crannies of town for you to go find

he’s also your bff pretty much he always tells you about his daughter and all the cute things she does and you just talk about your life in general and he gives you advice

congrats you’ve unlocked Wise Uncle

he gives you directions to this teeny TINY flower shop where you befriend the old lady who works there by bringing a muffin everytime you go by

she trades you for a seasonal flower and makes a big deal out of tucking it behind your ear herself

basically you find all the cute old people in town and make them your friend because.

THATS CUTE

ADDED BONUS OF LIKE 17 PARENT FIGURES TO GIVE YOU ADVICE

this is accidentally straying into art hoe territory i hope y’all are okay w/ that

school is starting really soon and you’re nervous but also used to this so it doesn’t affect you as bad as normally

also you did meet some people so you aren’t going in with no friends but like, pretty close to no friends

on the first day of school you ride the bus and you see ???? mark ????? on your bus ????????

so you get on and do your daily greeting of the bus driver

his daughter lost her first tooth AW

you fake cry and he says “mood” and you lose it because you’re pushing internet culture onto this unsuspecting middle aged man skdkdkkd

you pat him on the shoulder as you walk back to find a seat but there are none because for some reason the bus is busy this early in the morning ????

you wouldn’t know lmao summer sleep schedule had you up at 10 at the earliest

so you go to stand and hold onto one of the poles in the center

(nearby our boy mark LEE)

mark looks up from his phone

these god damn millennials always on that damn phone

and he sees you and he’s like wHOA what’s up uhhh Soccer Ball Girl

and nice you remembered his name bUT HE DIDNT REMEMBER YOURS

but then he’s like nahhhh just kidding i remember ur name hey y/n !!!

you talk otw to school and find out you’re both seniors at the same school and how you’re excited for sports games and like, GRADUATING

mark keeps trying to offer you his seat but you refuse and he pouts everytime you say no :((((

good god just take the seat look at the sad baby boy :((((((((((((

there is an, occurrence

at one point the bus goes over a bump and you stumble a little and mark reaches up to catch you before you literally fall on him

his hands fly out and grab you by the hips to steady you since he’s sitting and you’re standing and he can’t exactly reach your shoulders sO YEA

or at least that’s his explanation in his head huehuehuehe

his hands linger for MAYBE 10 seconds before he whips them back into his pockets and blushes while you thank him

you: are also blushing

the bus driver: completely did that on purpose

when you get off the bus your Second Dad tells you good luck and pats you on the head and mark is like ???? do you know him

and you’re like yeah that’s my man maurice we’re buds

and he’s like ???? i’ve rode that bus all my life to school and i’m not buds with him wtf :/

“srry you’re not as lovable as me!! jealousy is a disease <3”

and he laughs his dorky laugh

you highkey are smiling so big because this boy is so cute and he’s walking close enough that your shoulders brush every once in a while and he has a silly laugh and AW

as you walk into the school marks group of Boys starts waving him over excitedly and he turns in their direction but then stops when he sees you aren’t following

“hey whatcha doin???”

“well uhhh those are Your Boys you know and i’m, i don’t, really, uh they don’t know me”

“aw cmon they’ll love you!!! look ill just introduce you and if they’re terrible and annoying you can leave”

“........ i gue-“

but he’s already grabbed your hand and is pulling you over to them

“sup fellas this is y/n and she just moved here this year so don’t be too overwhelming.”

the smaller one with the highish voice chimes in

“aww but overwhelming is my only setting”

“then just don’t be yourself, chenle”

“heYYY it’s that girl i almost killed in the park !!! so sorry about that by the way”

he introduces them to you one by one and they all shake your hand

jisung is the one with the big ass yaoi hands and also the one who almost ended your young life

jaemin is the one with pretty smile

jeno is the one with the squishy eyes

renjun is the Art Hoe of the group you can just tell

he’s wearing some got damn overalls you gotta befriend him immediately

donghyuck is the one with beautiful skin and a v high voice you’re highkey like hey but can you dROP THE SKINCARE ROUTINE and he’s like “i just wash my face every day xoxo :*”

you quickly learn who is a piece of shit and who isn’t

you figure out who has classes with you and then set off for the day !!

mark has gym and economics with you but those are after lunch :(((

he squeezes your shoulder before he leaves and says good luck though so you’ll survive

you have art with renjun first and this boy is your bestie already

he’s such a sarcastic shit and he too likes drawing random things and vandalizing school textbooks with artistically correct memes

he also has the AUDACITY

“so, you and mark already ;););)(;);)))”

“i uh don’t know what you mean by that”

“you SO do!!!!! you guys walked into school together everyone probably already thinks you’re a thing”

“oh shit really??? ah i feel so bad”

“is that a bad thing???”

“i mean yeah i’m not tryna Tarnish mark’s reputation”

“that is some self hatred bs he would be lucky to have you !!!!”

“renjun you don’t even know me that well yet”

“i know enOUGH”

you just uhh change the subject which renjun def notices but like

who cares

renjun apparently also goes to the same flower shop as you !!!

you find out because you see him drawing the front of it and you’re like heY i’ve been there my girl edna works there !!!!! she insist i call her grandma tho

and he’s all oh sHIT that’s my girl too !!!!!!

long story short edna is now your shared grandmother

now THAT is some uwu shit

you go about your day and it’s lunchtime and yOU uh don’t know where to sit :(

you see a girl that you met who works at the little coffee shop you like so you set off in her direction and you’re almost there when jeno and jaemin walk up and sling an arm around your shoulder from either side

“hEY BUDDY” -jeno

“SUP SQUIRT” -jaemin

and they start steering you in another direction towards their own table

“god of all nicknames you had to give me sQUIRT”

“yes it’s because you’re cute and small like squirtle”

“that’s a god damn reach if i’ve ever seen one but okay”

you get there and they practically TOSS you into the seat next to mark

he winces and gives you and apologetic pat on the back before starting the conversation

“alright so who actually did the summer reading”

as the table bursts into Absolute Ruckus you just kind of sit back and watch

mark notices you being quiet and while renjun and chenle are arm wrestling he leans over to quietly be like

“hey you doin okay over there? are they too much”

“oh not at all i’m just takin it in lmao”

“yeah that’s understandable. they’re easily the most entertaining group of people you’ll ever meet but also i’ve wanted to strangle every single one of them at least once”

“what are you 30??? you talk about them like you’re their mom”

“i mean someone’s gotta do it”

you and mark talk all throughout lunch and head to gym together since that’s next

exercising right after eating ??? sounds like a GREAT plan thanks so much public school system !!!!

you go to pull out your bag of gym clothes but ??? all you’ve got is shorts ?????

S H I T

you start whining because you’re like aWW i’m gonna get in trouble :(((((

and he’s like here i have like 12 shirts in here because i always bring too many and then leave some when i got soccer practice i gotchu

(he gives you the clean shirt that hasn’t been sitting in his locker <3333 what a guy)

you thank him proFUSELY and then go to the girls locker room to change

the shirt is too big and you don’t wanna look like a Bag so you tie a lil knot in it in the front

you don’t look like a thot tho you just look Cute As Fuck

some girl in the locker room lets you borrow a hair tie and off we go !!!

it’s the first day so everyone literally just stretches and sits around talking

you’ve hashtag LOST mark and you don’t have any friends yet so you’re just chillin talking to the girl who gave you a hair tie because she seems nice and you got nothin better to do

you’re explaining to her how to take care of a succulent /properly/ when mark catches a basketball that was headed right for you yelling a watch it !!!! over his shoulder

he turns to you and giggles a little, nudging your foot with his

“you’re just a danger magnet aren’t you”

“i mean danger is my middle name so”

“uGH get your ass over here away from all those freshman hoodlums who think they can play”

you wave bye to your friend because there’s literal fear in her eyes at the sight of mark ??

you ask her what’s wrong later and she’s like oh it’s not him i just have a crippling fear of boys

(that’s a mood)

you and mark pass a volleyball back and forth and fuck around pretty much all period

this is actually the one (1) sport he isn’t good at thank GOD you were worried he had no flaws

at the end of the class you ask him if he wants his shirt back and he says, and i quote,

“nah you and your thot knot can keep it, looks cuter on you anyways”

you smack his arm for calling you a thot but then thank him anyways for the shirt and for calling you cute :))))))))

econ passes the same way except normal clothing and no sports

although mark does throw a wadded up piece of paper on you that says u want 2 hang w the boys n me after school ? if yes then breathe if no do a backflip

this headass boy

you throw it back so it bounces off his forehead and then nod to confirm you will

you don’t have any of the boys in your last class and you don’t where to meet up so you just kind of loiter by your locker since jeno’s is pretty close to yours and maybe they’ll meet here ????

luckily jisung spots you and is like hey what r u doin here aren’t u hanging with us after school??? cmon

you follow him out to the parking lot where they’re all gathered around jeno and jaemins vehicles because apparently they’re the only ones with actual cars

rip

they start waving too excitedly when they see you and mark smiles all big

wooOOO baby boy already has a crush on you :3

they’ve apparently already decided to go to chenles house because apparently he’s fuckin loaded

you don’t believe that for a sECOND because he’s wearing crocs and an old ass polo shirt but

we’ll see

you mark and renjun ride with jaemin while the Babies ride with jeno since he is able to ignore them being crackheads in the backseat and drive his vehicle without crashing

apparently they’ve cause multiple vehicular accidents ??? possibly the reason renjun doesn’t have a car ???????

who knows

y’all have a blast in jaemins car tho playing tokyo drift from the third fast and furious movie if u haven’t heard that shit plEASE GO LISTEN WHAT A SONG HEHEHHEHHEHE

you pull into this BIG ASS house and you’re like no fucking way dude

and everyone else in the car simultaneously says

“i know right ???”

y’all pull in and go inside and it’s real nice holy SHIT

chenle comes in cackling followed closely be jisung and more sedately by jeno who looks ready to fckin die

you pat him on the shoulder and go you did well, soldier

he salutes solemnly before breaking out into the smile

y’all know the one

you UWU right there on the spot but hold yourself back from poking his cheek and cooing

chenle then SCREECHES and yells

“WHO IS TRYNA PLAY JUST DANCE”

and everyone crowds into his living room

somehow the couch is big enough to fit all of you comfortably that’s fckin impressive

you play just dance for 3 whole ass hours and now you’re Tired and Ready To Go Home

there’s a bus stop nearby and you insist upon walking since jaemin already have you a ride here and you didn’t even have gas money to give him :(((

mark goes to since you have to catch the same bus

you hum as you skip around the sidewalk and he walks behind you smiling fondly while you twirl around

he recognizes the song and whistles along and wow !!!!

Harmony™️

when you get to the stop you’re like 5 mins early

so to entertain yourselves you play rock paper scissors and each time the winner gets to flick the loser on the forehead

mark is a sweet boy so he flicks softly but you go all out

wouldn’t be surprised if he had a bruise tmrw girly u need to chill

you sit on the bus together when it arrives since there’s actually room now and he slumps down low until his head is pretty much rested on your shoulder

(our man maurice sees and is like GET IT GIRL but only so you notice and you make threatening hand motions at him)

you’re not sure if he’s asleep so you stay extra still just in case

and no one needs to know you rested your cheek on top of his head

but when it gets to your stop you’re like mark? mark lee??? mork ???? wake up ??? and you nudge him a little with your shoulder and he sits up and rubs his eyes aW

he slow blinks at you and goes

“hm?”

and you’re like i uh gotta go now

and he’s like :/// okay i’ll see you tomorrow and stands up and gives you a half hug before you go

maurice is DYING in the front you’re going to kill him

you walk home with a smile on your face and again your mom is suspicious of your good mood but you’re like aw it’s nothin just had a good day at school made lots of friends !!!!!!

as summer turns into fall you make more friends but you mostly hang out with the boys because they’re funny and nice to you and also Mark is there and we love our boy

you guys all attend football games together and go absolutely ALL OUT for whatever the theme is

for example: the theme was halloween and you all dressed as god damn SMURFS

it was legendary there was not one bit of you all that wasn’t covered in blue paint

jisung almost fought some girl who thought he was from the movie Avatar until everyone was like jisung cHILL OUT ITS NOT HER FAULT YOURE VERY TALL AND COMPLETELY BLUE

and well

can’t argue with that

it gets chillier though so you all bring blankets and cuddle most of the games

all of the boys suspiciously aren’t cold at first until you and mark share a blanket

they’re so obvious GOD

with each time y’all share you get more relaxed around each other until eventually mark has one arm slung around you and your legs are hooked over one of his thighs while y’all Snuggle

renjun waggles his eyebrows at you every five minutes and you discreetly give him the finger every time

little ASSHOLE

college applications are due like. right now

you all apply to a nice university close by as a backup/safe place and then apply to more brazy places just to see if you can get in

everyone’s been real stressed lately so you’re like !!!!! hey imma throw a friendsgiving party !!! yeehaw !!!!!!!!!

and you invite all of them over

“everyone bring smth and i’ll bake a ham or smth,,, i swear to GOD if all of you show up with store-bought pumpkin pie. i will kill you and then myself”

“what’s with you and pumpkin pie?”

“jUST. don’t”

((((srry i’m projecting my hatred of pumpkin pie onto u reader heheehehheh))))

everyone comes over and it’s really chilly so you have a fire in the fireplace and you have a couple of your gal pals over too

your mom is nice enough to leave y’all alone for the night and she’s not hurt since it’s not real thanksgiving

we stan moms

you bring out the ham and someone has brought green beans and mark ,,,, tHAT ANGEL he brought cornbread stuffing do y’all know what i’m talking abt

OOO THAT STUFF IS GOOD

and there’s sweet potatoes and apple pie and all the Thanksgiving Essentials

jisung wanted to be a dick so he brought cranberry jelly

“why don’t you have some:) cranberry preserves:) , jisung” -you, every 30 seconds

everyone sits down to eat and it’s LOUD so you’re like shut UP !!!!!!!!!!

“every1 say smth ur thankful for :3333”

“my family !!!!”

“you guys <3”

“awW BOOO” - everyone, while throwing things at jaemin

“my life !!”

“that i’m happy”

“gay” -chenle

“minecraft”

anyways no one took it seriously until it got to mark

“i’m grateful y/n moved here :))))))”

everyone goes KSKDDIDI and you blush and you’re like okay ily mark JSKKD

everyone EATS A LOT and then you go sit in a pile in the living room

you go to make hot chocolate for everyone and when you come back it’s , interesting how there’s only room for you next to mark . hm

you pass out the hot chocolate and everyone reaches Maximum Sleepytime

at this point you’re too tired to give a fuck and you just flop onto the couch next to mark and curl up into his side

he puts his arm around you to pull you close and this mf presses a tiny barely there kiss to your temple

you look up and like talk with your eyes

did u just

i did

yeah

and then you just settle back down

it’s too crowded in here for any Moves to be Made

bUT YALL BEST BELIEVE WHEN ALL THESE YOUNGINS GET OUT UR HOUSE

you’ve got the karate kid on bc ??? who doesn’t love the karate kid and all of your cutie friends are asleep in various places

but once it gets super late you start waking people up and going hey i love you but your mom called mine like 8 times you gotta gO

you make sure everyone is awake fully if they’re driving and to text you when they got home safe

at long last

you’re alone

in your house

with mark

actually where is mark

mark has disappeared ?????

you start looking around for him and find him in your room ???

“you snoopin thru my things ??!?!??”

he jumps and is like uHH but you’re like nah you’re fine idc

so he continues and he was really just lookin at what kind of books you have and the little drawings and paintings and knick knacks everywhere

you just sit on your bed and observe him

let’s be real he’s nice to look at and you’d be perfectly fine doing this for uhhh the rest of your life

he pulls a book off your shelf and starts flipping through it until he pauses at a page

and his face blooms into this big smile and he looks hella giddy

and you’re like uhh hey whatcha lookin at there bud

and he just keep smiling and it’s a little smug now wtf

“when were you reading this?”

“oh uh i don’t know i got it this summer at that cute little bookshop”

“was it, by chance, the day we met?”

“i mean maybe??? why ????”

and he shows you the page and it’s tHAT oNE WHERE YOU WERE DOODLING BITS OF HIM AND WRITING HIS NAME ALL OVER IT

FUCK !!!!!!!

you immediately turn tomato red and snatch the book in to hold it tightly to your chest

“uhhh i do that with uhhhh eVerYONE I MEET”

“aw i thought i was special:((((”

he’s creeping closer to you this whole time until he’s INCHES AWAY

he gently pulls the book out of your hands and places it aside before grabbing your wrists and uncrossing your arms

“personally, i think it’s really cute”

you blush even more this man knows what he’s doing

you mumble a thanks with your eyes trained on his fuzzy socks what a dork

he releases one of your wrists to push your chin up so he can look you in the eyes

“do you really do that with everyone you meet?”

“,,,,,,, no it’s just you”

“alright cool”

and then he wraps his arms around your waist to pull you close til you’re pressed together chest to chest AW

he nudges his nose against yours and you close your eyes because your god daMN HEART IS POUNDING AND YOU CANT LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THOSE BIG PUPPY EYES

he presses the sweetest and gentlest of kisses to each cheek and then to the top of your nose

he presses one last lingering kiss on your forehead before he tilts his chin down to press your lips together

it’s so soft and innocent wow i’m going to SHED TEARS WRITING THIS

and he pulls away and you press your face into his neck in embarrassment

he chuckles a lil and rubs your back, leaning his cheek against your head

“hey, you down there”

you say “yeah?” but your voice is muffled by his neck and it’s more like eh ???

“my girlfriend y/n will you be ???”

what the fuck

you pull your head back so you can look at his face which is turning steadily redder

“uh what”

“shIT uh i meant will you uh bemygirlfriend”

your confused expression turns into a shit eating grin and you’re like

“what was that :)))) i didn’t hear you :)))))”

he groans and rests his forehead on your shoulder and pitifully whines out

“please be my girlfriend :(((((“

you pick his face up and hold it between your palms and he pouts playfully

“well how could i say no to that face”

and you smooch him right on those lil pouted lips

“yes i’ll be your girlfriend”

he smiles real big and smooshes you against him aw

wow so now you’re mark lee’s gf

LUCKY BITCH

lowkey you get a few threats but as soon as mark catches wind of that he stands on the statue in front of the school and announces that if anyone has a problem with you they’ve got a problem with him !!!!

and he looks like: ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

you drag him down while apologizing to everyone in the general vicinity

mark is. veRY CLINGY NOW

i mean no complaints here it’s just

wow

you’ll be standing at your locker when BAM mark is wrapped around you from behind and you get a hey baby how’s ur day right in your ear

in gym class he restrains himself since the coaches are always like LEE KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF

but he always whines after and is like

:((((( but you look so cute in my shirt i wanna squish you

whenever mark comes over you force him to let you draw him at least once

each time it gets easier since you’ve started to memorize the details of his face and the knuckles of his hands and the shape of his shoulders

a lot of times he just comes over to watch movies and talk

he’s not an eloquent guy

(“you all look like pretty grass :)))” - mark lee)

but he gets what he needs to say out and he enjoys listening to you talk about whatever’s on your mind

you’ve started a glow in the dark star sticker collection to put on your ceiling and each time he comes over you put a constellation up there

so you’ll lay in bed and turn off the lights and just stare at the ceiling and try to name them all

soon you’ll just get sleepy though and press your face into his chest

he uwu’s every time :((((

after he’s done being astonished by his Baby™️ he’ll wrap his arms around you and stroke a hand up and down your spine wow

Real Relaxation Hours

your mom will come home and find y’all asleep and then SHE uwu’s and it’s just one big cute MESS

he loves to kiss you right as he’s leaving like he’ll lay one on you then RUN to the bus stop

p.s. maurice is on y’all every day saying he called it AY

his other favorite kisses are when he catches you off guard and just turns you around and kisses you and you’re like

I’m Confused But I Like This

lots of sweet pecks throughout the day and then longer slower stuff when you’re home and alone and relaxing

leaves hickeys on your neck literally just to be annoying

it’s oKAY THO DONT TELL HIM YOU LIKE IT

months pass and youve said your first “i love you’s” to each other and renjun is always like so when y’all gettin married huh

you both SMACK him simultaneously

but lowkey you would marry mark he’s the best and you love him so wHY NOT

but it’s early and you know that and you’re happy with what you have now :))))))

pls love and support our hardworking baby mark lee he is doing his best and i love him goodnight

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artificialqueens · 7 years

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Something Near Perfect (Shalaska) - Lost Imp

Sharon leaned against the bleachers as she lit her third cigarette of the afternoon. She knew she had time for one more before cheer practice ended and she could take her girlfriend home. She watched as Alaska cartwheeled across the field for what seemed like the fiftieth time today. As much as Sharon could not stand the annoying cheers and bitchy girls, she rarely missed a practice. She knew Alaska liked her being there, it made her feel safe, she once told Sharon. Plus there was always Alaska’s gorgeous legs and ass stare at in her perfectly cropped uniform.

Alaska was very different to the other girls on her team. She didn’t spend her weekends at parties full of football players and drunk cheerleaders. In school she was quiet, soft-spoken and a little odd, which meant that she did not fit in with the Alyssa and her bitchy cheerleader friends. Alaska loved cheer because she had her two best friends, Willam and Courtney on the team with her. She had to put up with shit from the head cheerleader and her minions sometimes though, unfortunatley.

They loved to make little remarks on her messy hair and gangly legs. It didn’t bother Alaska when they criticised her appearance, she could handle that. It was only when they started mocking her relationship and the fact that she was gay that she got nervous. Alaska knew very well that her life could be made a living hell if Alyssa or any of the other girls wanted it to be. Of course she would never let Sharon know about any of this. She knew that her girlfriend would personally take it upon herself to make them pay for their words, and Alaska hated making Sharon worry. She did however, always feel safer when she could see her blonde haired, black clothed girlfriend smoking by the bleachers.

When practice finished, Alaska pretty much ran to the locker room to grab her things, and after making a quick promise to meet up with Court and Willam that weekend, she left to go find Sharon. She could feel a small smile that creep onto her lips as she walked out the school door and straight towards her girlfriend’s motorbike. She couldn’t wait to spend the next two days curled up in Sharon’s arms.

“Hey babe” she drawled, with a little grin on her face, “Miss me?”

Sharon simply responded by grabbing her tall girlfriend by the waist and pulling her in for a long, long kiss. When they pulled away, Alaska was grinning widely.

“You look stunning babe” said Sharon, her voiced laced with lust, “That uniform… it just…” she trails off and grabs at Alaska’s ass through her tiny skirt.

Alaska quickly spins away, laughing cheekily, “Do you want to at least try and make it home before you stars to fuck me?”. Her eyes sparkle mischievously.

“Feeling naughty, are we baby?” replied Sharon, eyebrows raised.

“Maybe” Alaska said quietly, before swinging her long legs over the back of Sharon’s bike, as Sharon climbed on in front of her. Immediately Alaska wrapped her arms around her girlfriends waist and lay her head on her shoulder before whispering in her ear “why don’t we go home and find out?”

Sharon could feel the hair on her arms stand up on end under her heavy leather jacket. The affect Alaska had on her astounded her sometimes. Just as she was about to pull her helmet over her head, she heard the irritating high-pitched shrieks of the other cheerleaders come out of the building behind them. Alaska hears them too and turns to look over at the girls.

“Come on baby, let’s…”

Alaska is cut off by one of her teammates, Gia she thinks, yell out “Hey Lasky, going to fuck your sleazy girlfriend, you dyke?”. Alaska visibly cringes at the homophobic language, and begs for Sharon to drive away, fast.

Sharon’s eyes narrow at the laughing cheerleaders getting into Alyssa’s car. “What was that Alaska?” she moves to get off her motorbike.

“Nothing babe, please, let’s go” pleaded her stressed girlfriend, holding onto her tightly.

“Alaska if they’re“

“It’s nothing Sharon, please, let’s go. Please, we can talk about it at home”

Sensing her girlfriends distress, Sharon reluctantly turned on the engine, and pulled out onto the road. Alaska breathed a sigh of relief, but she knows she has a tricky conversation to navigate when they get home to Sharon’s flat.

When her mother had died, and Alaska had been left with her stepfather, she found herself spending most of her time in Sharon’s place. Needless to say her stepfather had no complaints. Sharon had been living in her flat for a year and a half now, ever since her parents had kicked her out. Both girls had jobs to pay rent, and the living situation worked out rather well for them. Sharon’s flat may not have been in the nicest part of town, but the interior completely made up for everything the exterior lacked in Alaska’s eyes.

She had spent a lot of time at thrift stores, picking out little items to decorate their little sitting room, finding matching plates and cups for the kitchen and cosy blankets for their bedroom. Despite their home having only four rooms, they both loved it.

Sharon dropped her jacket on the yellow coat hanger when they got home, and Alaska dumped her bag on the floor by the couch. She sat curled up into the couch and took out some work from her bag. Sharon went into the kitchen and started on making something for dinner. This part of their day was routine, both separately working in comfortable silence. Sharon cooked and Alaska wrote and it was so delightfully domestic but to an outsider looking in, the situation seemed completely out of place. This had never bothered either girl because the little life they had built for themselves suited them perfectly, so they really couldn’t care less if it seemed strange to other people.

“Food, doll” Sharon said, as she places two warm bowls of pasta at their funky little table in the corner of the kitchen.

Alaska jumped up and bounced over to her girlfriend, kissing her on the cheek before dropping herself down on her chair. She looked down at her pasta, before slowly picking up a piece and placing it cautiously into her mouth.

“Head ok love?” asked Sharon.

Alaska smiled up at her, releasing she was watching her closely.

“Head’s good. Thank you babe, it’s delicious”

Sharon kept her eyes on Alaska for a minute, making sure she really was ok. Satisfied that her girlfriend was eating and not being controlled by her head, she began on her own food.

“So Lasky, about what happened back at school, is this a regular thing? Are they hurting you? Do they always say those things?” Sharon asked, never one to beat around the bush.

Alaska loved that Sharon was so protective of her, but she didn’t want her to be bothered with a couple of bitchy cheerleaders in school.

“It’s fine, really Shar, they’re ignorant and they don’t know what they’re talking about. They aren’t hurting me and I don’t let it get to me. Please don’t worry” Alaska said calmly, hoping this was enough to reassure Sharon that there was nothing to worry about.

“You’re sure it’s ok? And do you promise to tell me if things get out of hand?” the older girl asked earnestly.

“Don’t I tell you everything babe? I promise don’t worry.”

They cleaned up after their food, Sharon content that Alaska had eaten most of the big bowl of pasta she had given her, they went to curl up on the couch.

After some time debating, Alaska agreed to let Sharon put on a horror movie, provided she would be allowed to cuddle up with Sharon in a position that would make it easy for her to cover her eyes when she got scared. This was a very easy compromise for Sharon to make, which led them to where they were now. Sharon in the corner of the couch with her girlfriends head on her chest, lying in between her legs, big blankets wrapped around them, twisting the beautiful blonde hair in front of her into little knots and untangling them again.

Something near perfect, Sharon thought.

#shalaska #lost imp #tw possible eating disorder #cheerleader alaska #alaska thunderfuck #rpdr fanfiction #something near perfect #high school au #lesbian au #sharon needles

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smoshvalentines2018-blog · 7 years

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Coldwater Canyon Avenue - Fanfic Exchange

Written for @youraveragenerd349 Part of the Smosh Valentine's Day Fanfic Exchange - please note this account is not the person who wrote this fic. Check back within the next day for the author reveal. Title: Coldwater Canyon Avenue Pairing: Olivia Sui/Courtney Miller Rating: Mature Warnings: Swearing, mention of knives, supernatural creature Summary: Courtney Miller makes a bet with Olivia Sui, the craziest girl in school, that she can’t cake it one night in the haunted house on Coldwater Canyon Avenue; so of course Olivia has to prove her wrong.

Olivia slowly unpacked her lunch, she really didn’t feel like eating. The realisation that today was friday, aka the friday on which she would have to fulfill the bet she made with Courtney Miller, was dawning on he and suddenly her lemon chicken soup her mother had packed in her thermos was surprisingly unappetizing. But Olivia still tried to remain calm, she couldn’t just let people know that she was having a minor panic attack because it would leave her reputation in shambles. “Oh hey Olivia!” Courtney Miller said with feigned enthusiasm. The blonde was holding her lunch tray and her two friends, Noah Grossman and Keith Leak Jr. were trailing behind her. “Ready for tonight? Or are you really the huge chicken I think you are?” Courtney mocked. Olivia rolled her eyes behind her aviators and adjusted her leather jacket. “No Miller, I didn’t pussy out.” Olivia replied flatly. Courtney’s plastered smile grew uncomfortable at Olivia’s choice language but Olivia just used that as leverage, Courtney could act tough all she really wanted but Olivia was the one who was actually the tough one. “I’m still attending your Satanic ritual as planned.” “It’s not a Satanic ritual!” Courtney snapped. Olivia smirked and Courtney tried to recompose herself. She adjusted the lunch tray in her hands a threw her head back which tousled her blonde bob that was full of beachy waves, she was a true Cali native. “Fuck off Miller and take your friends with you.” A familiar voice stated. It was Shayne, Olivia’s best friend, and he took his spot at the lunch table next to Olivia. Noah Grossman and Keith Leak looked rather afraid of him whereas Courtney just looked ticked off, but soon the three teens left their spot in front of Olivia and went across the school’s courtyard to find their own place to eat. Shayne took off his leather jacket that was similar to Olivia’s and stuck a toothpick in his mouth to keep his mind off of the urge to smoke a cigarette, Olivia did the same. Being stressed always made her want to smoke a little more than usual. Olivia Sui had moved to Los Angeles about three years ago in the spring of ‘75 when she was fifteen years old and a sophmore in highschool. No one really wanted to be her friend, not many white kids wanted to be friends with an Asian girl, but the only person that really talked to her was Shayne Topp because just like her, no one sat with Shayne at lunch. Shayne was known for being a troublemaker and not one of the quirky fun kind. Shayne mouthed off to teachers, read erotic novels, smoked in the school’s bathrooms, and once blew up a trashcan because he could. Teachers blamed it on his lack of a father figure. But when Olivia moved in town he had one last chance at having a friend because no one else wanted to be his already, and thus began their mutual bonding of feeling alone. Since then they were best friends and also the most intimidating kids in school. No one fucked with Sui or Topp, they always came as a pair and now that they were seniors their scariness factor was up to a level ten. Now they spent time graffiting the back of the school along with underpasses in the city, read even more graphic and erotic novels, lit up in the back of Shayne’s old Ford pick up, and occasionally blew up a trash can every once and awhile for the feeling of nostalgia. Both always wore ripped 501 Levi’s jeans, leather jackets they found at the thrift store, and heavy metal t-shirts along with either having a toothpick or a cigarette hanging out their mouths. Yet there was one person who finally did fuck with them and that was Courtney Miller, one of the most popular girls in school and also the exact opposite of Shayne and Olivia. She was always known for wearing high waisted shorts, flowing white blouses, and was the human embodiment of pastel. Courtney was always followed around by a bookish boy by the name of Noah Grossman who was always carrying a copy of some type of American classic literature book and wore thick rimmed glasses. The other was Keith Leak Jr. who was head of the school’s choir, always had the lead role in the musical, and always wore a wide brimmed hat. It was in english class that Courtney called Olivia Sui out. The class was reading “The Great Gatsby” which Shayne complained about the lack of sex and how F. Scott Fitzgerald quoted another one of his books in his epigram and Olivia complained about how the character Daisy had no substance to her whenever she spoke. Courtney then made the remark that Olivia as a person had zero substance to which Olivia replied with saying Courtney was an ‘overzealous attention whore who has everyone so far up her ass they don’t realise how big of a bitch she actually is’ which caused Olivia to be yelled at by the teacher and was soon sent to the principal's office with a smirk on her face and Courtney almost in tears. At the end of the day Courtney approached Olivia while she was at her locker talking to Shayne despite Noah and Keith's protests. The Courtney stood beside Olivia with her hands on her hips and confidently told the raven haired girl that she was ‘a no good fearmonger who was faking being the toughest girl in the school when in reality she was a huge chicken’ Olivia laughed at the statement and called Courtney a pussy because she couldn’t say pussy. “Well fine, if you think you’re so tough then how about you and everyone else here spend this friday night exploring the abandoned house on Coldwater Canyon Avenue!” Courtney exclaimed. If there was one thing kids at this school feared more than Olivia and Shayne it was the dilapidated house on Coldwater Canyon Avenue that was rumored to be haunted. No one could even walk past the grimy house without feeling something squirm in the pit of their stomach. “Fine. Shayne and I will totally spend a night in the squatters house if that means we get to see you and your friends piss your pants if we see the supposed ‘shadow man’ that lives there.” Olivia slammed her locker shut and her and Shayne walked away from the three other teens. Noah and Keith looked at Courtney with wide eyes. Fastworfard to friday and Noah and Keith are still looking at Courtney as if she was crazy. “I honest to god hate you, why the fuck did you have to call Olivia out on tuesday? Why couldn’t you just leave her alone like everyone else? Why do you suck?” Keith complained as he sat down next to Noah at a vacant lunch table. Courtney just rolled her eyes. “Olivia and Shayne just need to be put in place, our school shouldn’t be overrun by two kids with daddy issues, it’s so stupid that people even think that they’re remotely scary.” Courtney scoffed. “Oh really? You don’t think that the two of them are terrifying?” Keith asked. “What’s to be afraid of?” Courtney asked as she took a bite out of the hamburger on her tray. “Their lack of a will to live.” Noah replied blandly. “Seriously Courtney, that’s why they do what they do like blow up shit and smoke until they can’t breathe anymore, they literally do not care and have nothing to lose. And now because of you we have to go into the haunted house on Coldwater Canyon Avenue and probably have our guts removed from our bodies while we’re still alive.” “And because you challenged Olivia to a bet you basically challenged Shayne who is arguably worse than her. He’s a true psychopath and her stupid best friend.” Keith added on. “Whatever, their both just losers who have no life and channel their anger into acts of violence and stuff like that, at least that’s what I overheard the teachers saying.” Courtney said with a mouthful of burger.+++ It was nearing six o’clock in the evening and Shayne and Olivia were at the only diner in town that would let them in. It was owned by the Johnson’s whose son used to attend the high school but had to drop out to help with he diner full time. His name was Wes and he had longer hair that kind of made him look like a rock star and he was also incredibly tall and built which made him look intimidating but in reality he was just a gentle giant. Wes was Olivia and Shayne’s only other friend and they were two of his very friends. Wes ad always been nice to the two rebels and so was his family and their diner was the only restaurant in town that would allow them in, not even then McDonalds. “So rumor around town is that the two of you are staying the night in the abandoned house on Coldwater Canyon Avenue.” Wes said as he set two plates of food down in front of Shayne and Olivia. One plate was a huge pulled pork sandwich that was split in half and dripping with barbeque sauce, the other plate was just heaped with fries. “Yeah, Miller challenged me to some stupid bet because she thought I was a phony, and she also said Shayne was one too so now we have to prove that we aren’t pussies or whatever so she can get off our case.” Olivia said as she dug into the sandwich. Shayne put ketchup on the fries and started to dig in. “And her stupid friends are also making an appearance.” “Listen I’ll show up to anything if I get to see those two nimrods have a fucking heart attack over some bogus ‘shadow man’ that supposedly resides there. The whole thing is bullshit, haunted house and all.” Shayne said smugly. His aviators were pushed up on his head which pushed his messy blond hair back and he was effortlessly slumped in the booth. Olivia looked almost the same only had a little bit of barbeque on the corner of her mouth. “Well as long as you two don’t die in the process I don’t care.” Wes said with a laugh. He slung his hand towel over his shoulder and left for the back of the diner. “Man, Wesley is so fucking cool.” Shayne said as he started to help Olivia with the sandwich. She nodded in agreement, to hungry to make any words. As both of the teens took a swig out of their coke bottles a group of teenage girls from the highschool walked through the diner doors and headed towards a booth. Olivia and Shayne caught their eyes and lifted their hands to make a small wave and also smirked at the group of girls. The girls just looked away from the two of them, scared to make eye contact with the two of them because of their reputation and because attractive people were always more intimidating. Olivia and Shayne just laughed at their fear. +++ Olivia and Shayne were waiting for the others to arrive in the 7-Eleven parking lot. Shayne had bought a few packs of Camels which should keep them occupied for the night and maybe Miller and her entourage would want some, no hurt in sharing. They would all be spending the night together anyways. They also bought a few packs of beers and a couple of snacks to keep them occupied. Olivia and Shayne felt pretty prepared and Shayne had brought his switchblade along with his smaller pocket knife for Olivia. Soon after the sun had set the two teens saw Courtney Miller’s Ford Escort pull into the parking lot. Shayne scoffed at the tiny car that made his red Ford pickup look like a monster. All the teens hopped out of their respective cars and grabbed their backpacks out of the trunks of their car. The teens all kept silent as they walked the two blocks to the house on Coldwater Canyon Avenue. Noah felt his hands get clammy as the sky got darker and the air colder, Keith felt his dinner churning in his stomach, Courtney started to regret making this bet, and Olivia and Shayne felt a slight urge to smoke a cigarette. They all reached the bleak house that had water ruined shutters and an always open door that lead into the dreary, dark house. Dilapidated chain linked fence that was over six feet tall lined the entire house and a faded sign with the words ‘FORECLOSED’ hung loosely on the wooden paneling of the house. Olivia and Shayne gave each other a look then took a running start towards the fence. The two teens climbed and hopped over the fence with ease and laughed as they reached the other side. “You coming Miller? You’re the one who invited us to this crack house in the first place!” Olivia shouted while standing in the overgrown lawn of the house. Courtney rolled her eyes and motioned for her timid friends to join her as she not so gracefully climbed and hopped over the fence. Olivia wore a shit eating grin and motioned for Courtney to lead the way. The house on Coldwater Canyon Avenue was not so much a house but instead a very run down, very old, mansion. It wasn’t very wide but incredible tall which made it stick out like a sore thumb compared to all the shorter, more modern houses on the avenue. The tall, dark wood building loomed over everyone and could even make the happiest people feel bad or paranoid, Noah liked to think it was something straight out of a Stephen King novel. Most of the windows were either boarded or barred, there only seemed to be one entrance, and on the windiest days you could heard it groan and shudder as if it was only being held together by a few nails. The legend behind the old house was that an entire family hung themselves in various parts in the house all at the same time because they went insane from being haunted by a demon or ‘shadow man’ as few people in town would like to call it. Supposedly you could sometimes see the shadow man looking outside windows, make its way across the entry way, or that it would pretend to be your own shadow and strike you from behind. Olivia and Shayne thought it was bullshit, no way a shadow man could ever exist and those who believed it were probably insane. Noah didn’t really believe in it either he was just scared of someone calling the police on all of them because they were trespassing. Keith really didn’t really believe either ut he was just scared of Shayne and Olivia but mainly Shayne. Courtney on the other hand didn’t really know what to believe, sure a shadowman sounded like crazy talk but at the same time could it be possible? The teens slowly went up the rickety stairs and into the entryway of the house. The floor littered with leaves and a slight draft rustled them through the house. “So what’s the plan Miller? What the hell are we doing here?” Olivia asked as she looked around the house. There was still furniture in it, old furniture pieces that consisted of a dusty couch that looked dated along with some side tables. Olivia continued to wander around the downstairs and the house seemed mostly furnished but still very empty, almost sad. “Well I mean we can always explore, the bet is that you guys can’t leave.” She replied. The group started looking around with Olivia and eventually started to wander up the stairs. “Dude check this out!” Noah shouted from one of the many rooms. The group found him opening a few old cardboard boxes that seemed to have hundreds of old polaroids. Keith looked around the small room that seemed to only be filled with boxes and he started to open a few more. “Look at this stuff.” Keith said, he showed the group the boxes that had old clothing in them, canned goods, and many, many photographs. They all started pulling out the old photos and looking at them. Some were of people that they assumed used to live there, some of the house back when it was in its prime, a few of a german shepard that seemed to be a pet, and some of different parts of the interior of the house. “Holy shit dude!” Olivia said as she pulled out the polaroid camera that seemed to of taken all the pictures along with a few film cartridges. She loaded the camera and aimed it at Shayne who made a cheesy grin. The camera flashed and the slip of paper slid out the end and Olivia shook it and gave it to her friend. “You look stupid.” She murmured, Shayne laughed and nudged Olivia’s shoulder. Courtney watched the interaction as she shuffled through pictures. Her stomach almost churned which made her confused but then again everything about this situation was confusing. Noah looked at a few polaroids that were of the house back when it looked good. It’s original color was a deep blue with red shutters and the interior has lovely wallpaper. He recognised some of the furniture from the living area in the photos and the old windows used to be stained glass in some parts of the house. It would’ve been beautiful if time didn’t kill it, it even used to have a white picket fence instead of a chain linked one. He glanced at all of them until he came across one that was of the doorway that led into the kitchen. In the picture stood a woman in the doorway dressed in clothing for the time period, Noah assumed the late forties early fifties, and she was smiling and holding a birthday cake. He smiled at it and almost set it back down with no hesitation until he glanced at it one more time. There in the back of the photo stood something, something different. Noah tried to brush it off like it was nothing but the harder he looked the worse it got. There was a figure, a shadowy figure that stood behind the woman with what seemed like glowing eyes. Noah blinked hard to try and refocus, his eyes must of been playing tricks on him because there was no way in hell the rumors could be true. “Noah are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Keith asked, breaking his friend out of his daydream or more so realization. Noah looked at the picture Keith was holding, one of the dog, which was standing in one of the many bedrooms this house probably had. A child was petting it and on the back wall was a similar figure to the one in Noah’s picture. Courtney saw what they were doing and sifted through the pictures until she found one similar to theirs. The shadowy figure looming in every one. “What the hell are you guys doing?” Olivia asked, she set the polaroid camera down and watched as the three friends started opening every box with pictures in them. “Here, look!” Courtney showed the raven haired girl the pictures. Noah and Keith continued to look and Olivia rolled her eyes. “You guys are idiots, it fucking doctored! This was probably planted here by some other kid.” She suggested. “Olivia, these photos are old, look at them! The house is all nice and the figure is in almost all of these! Also they were taken almost twenty years ago so there’s no way they could be doctored!” Olivia rolled her eyes but Shayne took the photo out of Courtney’s hand to get a better look. By this time there was no light coming in from the windows and the teens all had their flashlights out. “You people are crazy and this is all some type of joke isn’t it?” Olivia grabbed her backpack and left the room. The group ran after her as she stormed down the stairs and into the living room. “You know what, this is some type of prank pulled by you and your dumbass friends! You’re just a worthles, suck up Miller and nobody actually likes you!” Olivia shouted from the first floor. “And you’re the one backing out of this whole thing! You are literally leaving because you saw one thing out of the ordinary, one thing! You actually are just a huge pussy!” Courtney yelled from the top of the stairs. Shayne let out a whistle and Olivia’s brows furrowed. “Fuck off Courtney!” Olivia screamed. She turned to walk out of the door and into the night but her plans were ruined when the rickety door slammed shut right in front of her face causing the entire house to shake. The group at the top of the stairs had wide eyes and Olivia was left speechless. There, right in front of her on the door was a shadow that wasn’t hers and had dim, red eyes that looked like you could fall into them. Olivia took a step back and heard the faint cracking of leaves underneath her feet. The shadow was tall and skinny, dark and inky, just like in the pictures. A low hum or murmur was heard echoing throughout the house as the figure stared right back at Olivia. Olivia turned around and bolted up the stairs and a chorus of shouts and yelps were heard from everyone else. They all shuffled into the room at the top of the stairs, flashlights shining everywhere and panting heard from everyone. “No, no this isn’t possible.” Olivia whispered to herself. She looked at Shayne who looked just as confused and then back at Courtney and the boys who looked like they were going to cry. “What the fuck what the fuck?” she exclaimed. “We need to get out of here and never come back.” Noah said. “Agreed” Shayne responded. “There’s only one exit.” Keith said painfully. Everyone looked at him with scared expressions that were also pissed off expressions. “Sorry.” Keith responded. Everyone took a deep breath and Olivia and Shayne took out their knives which caused some alarm with the other teens. “Alright, on the count of three, we run down these stairs and get the hell out of here and go back to the 7-Eleven without looking back.” Olivia said, everyone nodded. “One” Shayne gripped his knife a little tighter. “Two” Noah and Keith adjusted their backpacks. “Three” Olivia looked at Courtney and Courtney back at her and the blonde opened up the door and the teens rushed down the stairs in a blaze of screaming glory. The low murmur of the shadow man hummed loudly throughout the house and louder as they reached the door. Shayne kicked open the door and the all stumbled down the steps. The five all ran down the street with panting breaths and their lungs screamed for help as their stomachs flipped. They rushed into the 7-Eleven parking lot that was completely barron and all gasped for air beside Shayne’s truck. Olivia looked at Courtney who was beside her and started to break out into breathy laughter. Courtney looked back at Olivia and joined her in her laughing fit. The girls were almost kneeling on the ground because they were laughing so hard. “You’re crazy Miller, fucking insane.” Olivia said as her laughter died down. She took out a cigarette and lit one up. Courtney took it out of Olivia’s hand and took a long drag from it which caused Olivia to raise her eyebrows. “And you’re not a pussy Sui, not at all.” Courtney replied. The girls smiled at each other in the 7-Eleven parking lot late that night, and at school they started to do the same.

#smosh valentine's day fanfic exchange

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taradreschner-blog · 7 years

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tara dreschner + headcanons

1. Tara is judgmental. They can’t help it or at least have never tried. They quickly come up with an idea of what someone is and rarely change their mind, instead choosing to believe the role that they’ve cast everybody in. Their assumptions are often deeply cynical in nature; they look for the worst in people before ever finding the good. There are people Tara will never be friends with because of what they’ve seen in them.

2. They’ve only begun recently making friends besides the two they’ve always had. It was easy in high school to stay forever in each other’s company, to barely acknowledge anyone outside their band of musketeers. But with Denna gone Tara had no choice but to expand their horizons and, reluctantly, they did. Despite themselves they’ve actually enjoyed spending time with Gen and Leo, but it feels like a strange sort of betrayal. Not even to Denna, who doesn’t seem to mind with how busy she is with her fascinating new life, but to Tara. They aren’t used to talking to people who don’t know them in and out, who don’t instinctively know how to translate their rolling eyes and monotone into affection.

3. Most people think Tara is rude. They don’t blame them, mainly because they kind of are. They communicate primarily through blunt comments and long-suffering sighs, actual enthusiasm hidden behind a layer of armor. It’s a defense mechanism, albeit a horrible and often negative one.

4. As a child Tara had always been too much. Too bossy, too serious and sullen and prone to acts of mild melodrama like calling daycare teachers fascist ogres or “borrowing” every book in their family library one by one until their room became a fortress of bound leather and paper. They were terminally weird, the kind of kid that made adults chuckle and peers cringe. Their mother called it precociousness. Most people called it being a pain in the ass. They were, Tara thinks, both right.

5. Tara doesn’t have a father. Or, rather, they do and it doesn’t matter. Lea Dreschner, heiress to a family legacy of railway barons and stock market kings, had known a man once upon a time as a rich girl with nothing to do. Things ended, as relationships so often do, and she found that she was pregnant. She describes Tara as a happy accident, the thing that helped her decide what she wanted out of life. These days Lea works as a motivational speaker talking about finding your inner light and living as a summer breeze, listing sentimental declarations on life and love that Tara can’t bring themselves to believe. Lea is everything her child is not; optimistic, enthusiastic, extroverted and often naive. It’s easy to see that she was sheltered in a way that Tara never could have been. Lea sees life as a fairytale and, almost as a result, Tara sees it as all too real.

6. This is not to say that Tara dislikes their mother. They love her. Lea Dreschner was for a time the only one who stood by her child, who insisted that there was nothing wrong with a child that was a little serious and uptight and prone to lecturing about injustice. It was Lea, when Tara came out at fourteen, who made buttons and threw a party for two with streamers and cake frosted with pronouns. She’s silly and Tara needs a little bit of silliness just as her mother needs someone to bring her down to earth.

7. It was natural, when Lea began making friends in the neighborhood, that Tara would tag along. Spending time with Denna and Preston was always refreshing, kids of the same age who always seemed to understand that their lack of expression didn’t mean a lack of enthusiasm.

8. Tara hates their family home. It’s a McMansion monstrosity, all beige and spiraling staircases and tacky granite floors, that Lea had bought when she’d decided to settle down. Their childhood bedroom has been altered greatly over the years; walls are covered in posters of everything from 1930’s public health warnings to bands they haven’t listened to in years, polaroids and dried herbs hanging above their bed, colorful rugs scattered across the floor, and a shade over their light that tints the whole room green.

9. In Preston’s Dnd campaign, which Tara pretends to still not know all the rules to, Tara plays a wood elf bard named Madge (They insisted they couldn’t think of a more creative name). They insisted Preston let them create a spell and now “Wonderwall” is their go-to move. The rest of the time they do everything they can to avoid a fight, leading Madge to make many options that lean worryingly evil.

10. A word that could be used to describe Tara is particular. Another is exacting. Perhaps the most accurate would be control freak.

11. Tara looks way cooler than they actually are. They care about clothes and style in a very particular way and their mother has always indulged their whims. Many people say that Tara presents more feminine, but Tara thinks that’s kind of bullshit. Their hair may be grown out long, but it’s more 70s shag than anything else. A lot of their clothes lean retro- bell bottoms and crop tops and big ugly jackets with big clunky boots to top it all off. And if sometimes they wear a bitchin’ dress, well, that’s no one’s business but their own.

12. In their sophomore year of high school, Tara began selling their old clothes and their mother’s vintage online for petty cash. Years later their shop Despoena has achieved an impressive amount of popularity and has expanded into an online vintage store, as well as selling a couple indie clothing, makeup and skincare brands. Tara does not make clothing themselves, but they have a good eye for curating a specific image. The store’s official instagram has far more followers than their personal one, which is how they like it. No one except Denna and Preston even know they run the store, though others might know of it.

13. They know they’re hardly charming enough to be the face of the enterprise, so they keep it purposefully anonymous. The store’s official blog and social media is amiable in a way that Tara is incapable of being, seeming authentic and soft while still professional.

14. Tara recently found out that the amazing designs they’d seen around town are by Naia and they will walk over broken glass to get her stuff in their store. They just don’t know how to ask her.

15. It’s too silly and unsure for Tara to admit wanting it, but in moments where they’re truly honest about their goals they want to expand Despoena into something even bigger. They’ve started taking business classes, but they’re too nervous to talk about it with anyone besides Preston (Not Denna. It’s petty, but they like keeping something from her like how they know she’s keeping something from them). It feels ridiculous for someone as practical as them to be dreaming so big.

16. Imagine Despoena as a cross between Nasty Gal and Goop. There’s a focus on a natural minimalism with quirky touches. Down below I’ll link to some of the clothes and stuff I think would be on there. If I could do literally anything in photoshop I would make a logo, but I’m actually garbage sooo… sorry.

17. Tara was raised on health food and their deep dark shame is that they basically hoard circus peanuts. They’ve been vegetarian basically since birth in addition to being kosher and circus peanuts are neither. They taste like toxic bananas and are orange for some reason and they always have a bag hidden under their bed.

18. Tara and Heath would actually probably get along if Tara were able to talk to Heath without immediately hating them. If anything they could bond over starting a business anonymously or being ridiculously protective of Denna. This isn’t even a headcanon this is just something I realized while writing this.

19. Tara is more cold than angry. If they’re mad at you, you might not even know until a month later.

20. They don’t really look pretty. Or attractive or whatever, despite having the bone structure of an angel. And they don’t want to be attractive. When it comes to their personal look, Tara revels in the strange and interesting. They’re far more likely to wear a sweatshirt patterned with cockroaches than one of the simple and fun dresses you’d find on Despoena. It’s not that Tara dislikes that style- they love it, it’s why their store is the way it is. But for themselves they can only accept it in diluted doses; a simple blouse only feels right when combined with the most trashed thrift store jeans that they have and ostentatious costume jewelry. It’s with the combination of the staid and the bizarre that Tara can feel like themselves, rather than picking a side to stick to.

21. All of Tara’s favorite movies are campy B horror. They love the cartoonish performances and technicolor gore. Preston and Denna have, in their time, been forced to watch many. Tara has most of them memorized line-for-line. They often lament that their wardrobe could use more neon pink-orange bloodstains ala Suspiria.

22. Tara is guarded, but deeply protective of anyone they consider a friend. If someone hurts someone that they care about, they will hate that person for the rest of time. It’s a passion that they don’t have in regards to defending themselves. Tara doesn’t care about people who might have been cruel to them once upon a time, but anyone who ever pushed Denna or Preston on the playground better watch out.

23. Tara was raised Jewish, but doesn’t practice heavily. They still identify as culturally Jewish, go to the synagogue on Yom Kippur, and do their best to keep kosher, mainly out of habit. Since they’re vegetarian, it mainly means feeling weird about cheese made with animal rennet. One time they tried bacon out of curiosity and honestly? Not worth it.

24 At 6’1, they’ve always been one of the tallest people they know. Whenever they interact with someone taller they get grumpy. It’s not something they’re self-conscious about; rather, they see it as something that helps define them.

25. Tara does, in fact, know things about video and tabletop games. They just have horrible twitch reflexes and a bad habit of getting sidetracked on quests no one thought of making, like trying to break down the government of a fantasy world and replace it with a functioning democracy instead of doing fun things and killing dragons.

26. Sometimes Tara appears on Preston’s channel, often to fail horribly at Overwatch (they main Zarya because she’s cute, but have no idea how to play her). Their main appearances are on a very rarely updated series where Tara plays Grand Theft Auto with Preston and tries to accomplish a very specific task that isn’t actually in the game (i.e: buying a pizza, working out at the gym).

27. Part of the reason Tara likes to focus on other people is because it means they don’t have to think about their own problems and mistakes. It’s easier to help a friend than to help yourself.

28. Tara’s romantic history is… complicated. They’ve never been in an official relationship, just flings that occasionally seemed like they might be more. Sometimes when they’re too depressed for their own good they wonder if they’re incapable of anything more, if that’s the cost of seeing the complicated parts of people first.

29. I have a half-formed wisp of an idea that might be really stupid, but I think in high school Tara had a crush on one of Denna’s significant others and nothing happened but they still feel really guilty and gross about it.

30. Tara would rather be miserable than possibly hurt one of their friends.

31. For all of middle school and the first two years of high school, Tara had braces and (occasionally) headgear. It was horrible and part of the reason why they rarely smile or show their teeth.

32. Halloween is Tara’s favorite holiday. They would always give their candy to Preston and Denna as a kid, because their favorite part was going all out with costumes and decorations. Their costumes have only gotten more elaborate over the years and they rope friends into joining them. In the vague future where everything’s cool and they’ve accepted Denna and Heath’s relationship, they finally get to accomplish their dream of going as the cast of Scooby Doo with Pluto as Scooby.

#ch: never flowers #(hey margo why choose the sky as all things as a motif for an earth goddess?)#(because I'm a sucker for pretty clouds that's why)

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missjackil · 7 years

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We’ll Figure It Out (Pt 1)

gif art by @travellerintime thank you so much!

Summary: After recent events, Sam has been fighting insomnia. Dean wants to help him in any way possible. He need’s Sam to talk about his experience, and needs him to relax, and will do anything to get him there. Pairing: Sam Wincester / Dean Winchester Warnings: None Tags: WIncest, First Time, Season 12 Divergance, Bunker Sex, Depressed!Sam, Caring!Dean, Comfort, Slow Burn, not too smutty

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dean’s eyes burn after what felt like 24 hours straight of reading articles on the internet about crazy events that might be in their wheelhouse. Nothing particularly jumped off the screen to him, so he took the last 2 swallows from his beer and decided to call it a night. Sam had gone to bed hours ago. A little earlier than normal, but he had been looking more tired than usual, and it’s probably just caught up to him.

As he approached his bedroom door, Dean paused and listened to voices coming from Sam’s room. It sounded like the TV, but Sam doesn’t usually fall asleep with the TV on, so he decides to check on his brother.

“It’s open.” Sam says as he hears Dean’s signature “shave and a haircut” knock on his door. Dean opens the door to find Sam watching TV in the dark, sitting up on his bed, in his T-shirt and lounge pants, sipping from a tumbler of whiskey, also not normal Sam behavior. Dean is sure something is out of whack.

“Hey, you okay?” Dean asks as he gives Sam a once over look to see if there is anything visibly wrong.

“Yeah,” Sam says with a half smile, “just can’t sleep. Trying to take the edge off,” as he gestures with the tumbler. Dean glances over at the whiskey bottle on the night stand. Still 3/4 of the way full. Sam could probably still drive if he had to at this point, so Dean lets himself relax a little...his little brother isn’t sitting in the dark, brooding and getting drunk.

“Whatcha watching?” Dean takes a swig from the bottle himself.

Sam chuckles. “Believe it or not, a documentary about Hitler. How conspiracy theorists don’t believe he died in 1945,”

Dean grins with pride.“Well, we know he didn’t. He died in 2016, from a bullet to the head, fired by yours truly.” They both smile and clink a glass to bottle and take another swig.

“Want some company?” Dean asks, and Sam slides over to make room on the bed for him. Dean takes a seat, puts his feet up, and pours 2 more fingers of whiskey into Sam’s glass, takes another swig from the bottle himself and sets it down on the nightstand.

Sam never admits it, but he likes when Dean is this close to him. If it was anyone else coming into his personal space like this, he would subtly move away a bit, but this was his big brother. He knows, for whatever reason, Dean likes to be touching him, or at least close enough to touch him if he needs to.

Dean isn’t good with words, but he always speaks volumes with touch. Sam is somewhat the opposite. He doesn’t need to be physical, he much prefers talking or listening to someone else talk, but for Dean, he happily accommodates him and allows him to be as close as he needs to be.

The brothers share several silent minutes, staring at the TV, absently sipping whiskey. Dean rests his right hand on Sam’s thigh. Sam is highly aware of it but isn’t sure if Dean realizes he has done so. Sometimes Dean would touch him in ways that you never see one brother touch another, but do it with such ease that Sam would try to brush it off as just a “Dean thing” even though it would always make his stomach leap a little.

Sam had lost all interest in whatever was on TV and focused on how Dean was touching him. There was no space between them, and though there was a good foot of bed left on either side, neither made any effort to separate. They were even propped up on the same pillow.

Dean absently thumbed the fabric of Sam’s pants. Sam had to wonder what this was doing for his brother. Was he even conscious of it? He didn’t plan on asking because it would surely make him stop, and Sam wanted to stay absorbed in this feeling.

Dean broke the silence by picking up the whiskey bottle again and offering more to Sam. Sam declined by showing he still had plenty in his glass, and Dean took another long swig and settled back in next to Sam. He looked at his face for a moment, trying to read him.

Sam looked content, but still had traces of melancholy in the lines of his forehead and cheeks. His eyes blinked slowly, as though he was in deep thought about so many things he kept hidden. Dean was sure he didn’t know half of what goes on in that huge brain of Sam’s. Experiences he never speaks of past vague comments, and hints about their severity.

Dean knew Sam kept things from him since they were little kids. It used to hurt him, thinking Sam didn’t trust him, but as they aged, and became closer, Dean knew it had nothing to do with trust, but with Sam not wanting to make these things really real. As if not speaking certain words, or describing certain events, would make them disappear.

Dean thought back to a time when Sam was 12, and Dad had been missing for a week. The first time they hadn’t heard from him for more than 3 days. Normally, if Dad knew he would be gone for more than a week, he would send the boys to Bobby’s or rent them a motel in a safe town and be back before they overstayed the rent.

However, this time, Dad didn't come back or call and when the motel managers came asking for more money, the boys had to get resourceful. They gave the manager most of what was left of the food money to pay for 2 more days, then the boys set out trash picking to find anything they could sell to a thrift store or pawn shop.

Sam would be fine during the day, while they hunted for sellable items, but at night he would cry for hours. Trying to be quiet so Dean wouldn't hear. It never worked. Dean always heard him, and though usually, he would let him have his space, some nights it was too much to bare and Dean would lay down beside him. “It’s Ok Sammy, Dad will call soon. I promise”

Then came that day when Summer Vacation was 5 days over and the boys hadn’t been enrolled in school when Sam had a bit of a meltdown.

“Dean! What do we do?! School has already started and Dad isn’t here to enroll us!”

Dean tried to joke to get Sam to calm down “You have got to be the only 12-year-old in the country that doesn’t want summer vacation to last longer!”

But Sam was always too smart for his age and knew about how things worked in the real world. “Dean, if we don’t go to school, the motel managers are going to see us here and report us to Child Services!”

Dean countered “So? We’ll get dressed in the morning and leave like we’re going to school, and just hang out at the park or the mall or something.”

Sam threw his hands up in frustration, tears streaming down his face. “Dammit, Dean! If the Cops see us walking around during school hours, they will take us to Child Services and we’ll be put in Foster Care! We’ll be separated!”

Dean knew Sam wasn’t wrong, but he had to think of something before the kid had a real nervous breakdown. “Alright, I’ll call Uncle Bobby and see if he can come get us. We can stay there for years in case Dad is dead.”

No sooner had Dean said it, then Sam flew across the room and pushed him “DON’T SAY IT, DEAN!! DON’T YOU EVER SAY IT!”

Dean catches himself and gets a firm grip on Sam “Shit Sammy, what’s going on with you?” Sam broke down in tears “If you never say it, then it won't be true!”

Dean pulled his little brother in and wrapped his arms around him. “Okay Sammy, Dad’s fine, he’ll be back soon. Until then, we’ll figure it out, we always do.”

Then just as if their father had felt their fear, he walked through the motel door. Bandaged and bruised with a broken leg, but welcomed both his sons into his arms. “I’m sorry boys, I'm so sorry.”

Sam isn’t generally superstitious, but he has a few quirks, this happened to be one. Something about not speaking the words about any fear. emotion, or trauma, made them easier to deal with. Speaking the words means someone else will hear, and if they hear, they’ll know, and then he won't be able to convince himself it’s not true.

In fact, when other people, even Dean, had called him a “freak”, he never really felt like he was until he called himself a freak, then it became real. So that was his therapy of choice. Bury it, don't speak of it, and it’s not real.

The Hitler documentary had finished, with sadly, no mention of how Sam and Dean stopped The Thule Society, and Hitler himself, and had moved on to a documentary on Prohibition.

Sam was 3 glasses of whiskey into a warm mellow buzz. Still not drunk, but looser. If Dean pressed any issue, he was sure he could get Sam to spill, but he didn’t want to pressure him, he wanted him to open up if he wanted to.

“You feeling okay Sammy?” Dean nudged him with his shoulder.

"Yeah, I’m fine, I'm just... I don’t know... maybe it’s all just weighing me down now.” Sam sat forward, bending his knees up and leaning arms on them. “We’ve had one hit after another. BIG hits, first me being tortured and uh.... the whole deal with Toni Bevel, to Mom being back and leaving, then our asses ending up in little Gitmo, and now this deal with Lucifer and his love child? Sometimes I can’t get my brain to shut down so I can rest.”

“How long has it been since you’ve slept?” Dean asked with concern, he knew after seeing Sam go 5 days without sleep a few years back, that insomnia was stage 4 of an emotional breakdown.

“I did sleep yesterday, for a few hours,” Sam said, rubbing his face. “That's been the norm since prison. I sleep 3, maybe 4 hours a night if I get there. But sometimes, like tonight, I just can't get there.”

Dean stared at the back of Sam’s head. resisting the urge to stroke his hair. It looked soft, and a little messy, making Dean want to smooth it out. He would never admit it, but he loved that Sam kept it long. He gives Sam’s hair one supportive stroke “Don’t worry about it Sam. we’ll figure it out, we always do.”

Dean wanted to help Sam sleep but didn’t know how. He would offer him a sleeping pill from his own stash, but Sam wasn’t a fan of sedatives other than alcohol, because he could control the sedation level of the alcohol himself, and since he had a few drinks in him, Dean thought it might not be safe anyway. So, Plan B. “Hey Sammy, when was the last time I gave you a massage?”

“A massage?” Sam popped his head up startled by the question.

“Yeah, a massage. I used to give them to you after almost every hunt, then for some reason, you stopped asking.” Dean raised an eyebrow as if to say “Yeah, I did notice.”

Sam sat straight up on the bed, trying to think. “Um I don't know, I think maybe 4 or 5 years, since I had insomnia before?” It was. It had been just after Sam got a face full of Hell memories, that he avoided being touched most of the time, but Dean insisted, once he got Sam out of the mental ward and his head was feeling better. He wanted to make sure he would finally get a good night sleep, so he rubbed Sam’s back, neck, and shoulders until he was snoring.

“Do you want one? I think it will help you feel better.” Dean asked before proceeding.

“Uh yeah, sure? I think I have massage oil in the medicine cabinet actually,” Sam tried not to smile or look overly eager, but it wasn’t really working. Sometimes he would want to ask Dean for a massage, but it had been so long, and so much has happened, he was afraid they’d passed that level of closeness, and Dean would reject him. He knew deep down it wasn’t true but was still afraid to risk it.

Dean picked a bottle out of the medicine cabinet. Red with a black leaf stenciled on it. “All Natural Scented Massage Oil” Dean read from the bottle. He opened the cap and sniffed it. Gave a look of approval to the scent. It smelled like vanilla with a hint of cinnamon. He couldn’t help but wonder what it tasted like. He stuffed that thought away for another time. “Self-heating?” he read from the bottle “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Sam smiled, a little embarrassed but answered anyway. “It means it heats up when you touch it or put....” Sam stopped abruptly, not wanting to finish the sentence.

“Orrrrr what Sammy?” Dean grinned.

Sam let out a defeated sigh “Or if you put your mouth on it.”

Sam’s crooked grin, and the way he scratched his head let Dean know he was a little embarrassed.

“Wow, Sam gotta say I'm pretty impressed. But wait! You can put your mouth on.....nevermind.”

Sam laughed “You’re an idiot.”

Dean relented with a follow through, he wanted to be able to get Sam relaxed into sleep. “Okay, weirdness over. Lay on your stomach, let's do this.”

Sam took his gentle orders and took his shirt off before he laid down. He brought the pillow down to the foot of the bed with him, and crunched it in his arms and rested his chin on it. He felt Dean squirt a generous amount of oil between his shoulder blades and down his back to just above the waistband of his pants. It was a little bit cold, but that wasn’t what made the chill run up his spine.

As soon as Dean put his hands on the middle of his back, Sam felt the oil getting warm beneath them. Automatically, Sam felt relief. Like laying back in a hot tub. He closed his eyes and let the feeling of his brother's hands spreading the oil around his back, pull him into a warm place he hadn’t felt in years. Before things got so crazy and weighed so heavily on their shoulders.

He thought to himself how he has never really given Dean a massage. He has rubbed out his shoulder before, or his bum knee, but never did this. This felt so awesome, that he felt like he should share the experience. Tomorrow maybe, or the next day, just not too soon after this, then it would just be weird.

Sam stared up at the TV, not really paying attention, but a commercial came on with a little boy complaining of a sore throat and his dad offering this children’s sore throat medicine, and Sam remembered when he was 7 and had strep throat. How raw and sore it was but the medicine the Doctor gave him smelled and looked horrible, and he refused to take it.

Dad got frustrated with him. “Sammy, you have to take it or you’re not going to get better and you’ll end up in the Hospital, and you know we don’t have time for that!”

Sam still refused, and Dad pushed the medicine bottle and spoon at Dean. “Here! Maybe you can get through to him,” and stomped out of the room.

Dean sat down on the bed next to his sick little brother. “C’mon Sammy, let's get you better. Here, I'll take some first and tell you if it tastes like ass okay?”

Dean poured himself a spoon full of this thick pink swill and swallowed the whole thing in one shot. He grimaced and gave an exaggerated gag, which made Sam laugh. “Now you do it, and if you swallow it without making a face, it means you’re stronger than me. You ready?”

Sam nodded and took down the whole spoonful. It did indeed taste like ass, but Sam fought back a gag put all his strength into not making a face. Dean ruffled his hair in pride. “You’re a bigger, stronger man than me, Sammy,” he said. Almost like prophecy.

Dean pressed firmly into the muscles in Sam’s back. Admiring, and almost envying the definition of them. Sam was still muscular, and healthy, but that didn’t stop Dean from worrying about the weight he had dropped over the past few years. He was watching him though. He was definitely eating, real food, not just rabbit food, and still enjoyed cheeseburgers and pizza more than a few times a month.

Maybe it was just because he runs regularly now. Before, Sam would work out, but running wasn’t part of his routine until after he had gotten his soul back. Sam used to run a lot more on the job when he had no soul, maybe that’s something that stayed with him from the transition, the urge to run. Whatever it was, the muscle was still firm and defined, just more lean than bulky. 7 years ago, Sam would definitely beat him at arm wrestling, but Dean wasn’t so sure now.

Sam felt like he could fall asleep now, with very little effort, but it was so rare to feel this comfort and peace, that he wanted to savor it for as long as he could. His muscles were loosening up right along with his mind. He could sense every word Dean was saying with his hands, by the way, they moved. They never said “I love you” to each other in words, but it was always known by their actions.

He could hear those words coming from Dean’s hands right now, and he let himself be dragged down into it. Their actions of love for each other had gone from the simple things, like cooking each other a nice meal, to soul selling, and releasing The Darkness to save each other. What more could they possibly do to convey this message further?

Sam let his mind dip momentarily into the secret world he’s wanted to take Dean for years. The world where it didn't matter that they’re brothers, but only that they were each other's very heart and soul. Two sides of the same coin, and could express this bond any way they saw fit. For a moment, Sam imagined laying naked beside Dean. Flesh to flesh, with no walls and no rules. Wrapping each other in their arms, legs, and lips, until they were truly one single unit. It wasn’t about sex really, it was about completion.

Dean squeezed some more oil on Sam’s shoulders, and Sam immediately responded by arching his back and rocking his hips a little bit. Dean liked this... a lot. He felt a great satisfaction in being able to melt Sam under his hands.

He slid his hands up to Sam’s neck and gently moved his hair over to the side so he could press his thumbs into his nape. Sam let out a low moan and buried his face into the pillow as if to stifle it. “Does that feel good Sammy?” Dean said, knowing the answer already. He could read Sam like a braille book by the goosebumps raised on his skin. Sam didn’t answer, he didn’t need to.

Dean stayed in the zone. Kneading his brother’s neck and shoulders until the tightness melted away. It was working, Sam was relaxed and would start talking soon. “Still with me Sammy?” Dean broke the silence.

Sam drew a long breath and assured Dean he was still awake and nodded “Yeah.”

“Dean? Can I asked you something?”

“Yeah, sure. Ask anything.” Dean could tell Sam was in a thoughtful place by the tone of his voice.

“Do you still regret being alive?” Sam asked, turning his head to the side so he could see Dean’s face. Dean didn’t expect this kind of question, and Sam could see he was trying to wrap his head around it.

“Seriously. When the faith healer healed you, and then Dad sold his soul, you kept saying you should have stayed dead. Do you still feel that way?”

Dean hadn’t given it much thought for a long time. In fact, every morning that he woke up on the cold side of a funeral pyre, and Sam was right there with him, was a good day for him. But it brought up a question for him as well. “No Sam, I don’t regret it. Do I wish it went down differently? That Dad hadn't died in my place?"

"Yes... but I'm happy to be alive.and I'm even more happy you still are too.” Dean approached his question, with his hands still on Sam’s back. No longer rubbing, just touching. “How about you Sammy? Do you still hate me for the whole Gadreel thing?”

Sam propped himself up on one arm and looked at Dean straight in the eyes. “I have never, and will NEVER hate you, no matter what you’ve done. Even if you stayed full on, foaming at the mouth Demon. You’re my brother and I lo..... “ Sam stopped himself from saying those words. This wasn’t the right time."

“I’ve forgiven you. I have. I no longer wish I was dead, and I'm grateful for every time you’ve saved me because I've gotten to save your ass just as much. My problem was always that possession is the worst thing ever for me, and you didn’t allow me to make that choice.”

Dean rubbed his face in frustration. He knew it would come up again someday, but they had been enjoying this time so much. Why did it have to be now? “Because you asked him, stupid!” Dean thought and automatically regretted it. “Sam, I am never going to say I'm sorry for saving your life ever!”

“I know, and I’m not asking you to...I just want to know, to trust, that you won't ever do that to me again.” Sam kept his gaze on Dean’s face. He could see the pain in his jaw clenching.

Dean took a deep breath. “I am sorry Sam, I’m truly truly TRULY sorry I made that judgment call without your okay, and I won't promise I won't do everything completely in my power to keep you alive if the situation arises again. But, I will promise you, I’ll do everything I can to get your consent.”

Dean lowered his head, and Sam reached up and rubbed his arm. “Good. If it’s possible, you’ll figure it out.... But what if you can’t?”

Dean turned and started rubbing Sam’s back again. “ If I can’t, I’ll die right along side of you.

Both brothers were long past sleepy. The sun was probably coming up by now, but the lack of bedroom windows kept the room dimly lit by only the TV. Sam still didn’t feel like sleeping, and if Dean did, he wasn’t telling.

The massage had turned into light stroking of Sam’s back, while Dean rested his body alongside him, propped up on one arm. Dean’s mind was quiet, just enjoying the opportunity to be this close to Sam for so long, Touching him without any reason to stop. Sam was obviously okay with it. Maybe now he would tell Dean what was really making him sleepless.

“Sammy, tell me the truth. What’s keeping you from sleeping?”

Sam reached for his tumbler that he hadn't touched for 2 hours, but if he was going to talk, he needed a lubricant. He swallowed back the remainder of the glass and looked back up at the TV. He couldn't get it all out if he had to look Dean in the face, but maybe it was time to accept what was real and deal with it.

“It seems surreal to think I can say this and be perfectly literal.” Sam started with a chuckle, that was sprinkled with a little disbelief, with a side of sadness. “Dean, you know I’ve been tortured, by people, demons, witches, ghouls, ghosts, and even Lucifer himself. There is literally, no torture I haven’t endured.”

Dean knew this to be true. He himself had been tortured in Hell and even became a torturer, but he knew Sam endured more. It broke his heart to consider the things he knew happened in Hell, happened to his little brother. Even now, while he can see Sam, hear him, feel him, and touch him, he knew part of him never came back.

Nothing Dean could define really, but there was a spark missing. The something in Sam that used to allow him to see the world as a giant Christmas present just waiting to be opened. Sam was still hopeful and intrigued by the world around him, but he was no longer excited to unwrap the package. Dean swallowed a lump in his throat, and continued rubbing Sam’s back with the palm of his right hand, and listened.

“I thought there was nothing anyone could do to me anymore, that I couldn’t recover from in a day or two, but the experience with Toni Bevel really kicked my ass, Dean.” Sam kept his eyes on the TV but Dean could hear the cracking in his voice.

“It’s okay Sammy, we don't have to do this now. Tonight, I just want you to feel better.”

“I can do this Dean. I need to.” Sam rubbed his face and cleared his throat. “Toni did her best to break me. I’ve told you most of it already. She shot me, burnt my foot, kept me in a cold shower for hours. The works, but then she did something I’ve never experienced really. She put a mind control spell on me. It didn’t only make me hallucinate, it controlled everything I was thinking.”

Dean looked at Sam, confused. He’s been possessed several times, and each time his mind and actions were controlled.

“I don’t get it. What do you mean? You’ve been under another's control before.”

“Not like this,” Sam continued, “She made me dream that we were having sex. Only it didn’t feel like a dream at all, it felt as real as you and me laying here right now.”

“But it was a dream right Sammy?” Dean was clearly having a hard time understanding what he was hearing.

“Yeah, it was a dream, but it didn’t feel like it was.” Sam sighed, trying to find the words that would make this make any sense at all. “I mean, this spell made me think I wanted to have sex with her, and I can tell you honestly, I wanted to do a thousand different things to her, but none of them were sexual. I thought you were dead, and I didn’t even care.”

“I’ve never been under the control of anyone or anything, including Lucifer, that changed how I actually thought. Like, what else could she have done, or can she do to me? I think part of what has been bothering me, is being afraid that she still has power over my mind. Or, that she could regain it at some point. And I could really hurt someone. Maybe even you.” Sam wiped a tear that escaped his right eye, and Dean gripped his shoulder firmly, to remind him he was safe.

“Well Sammy, that’s nothing I want you to worry about. We’ll have Cas come check you out and make sure you have no spells stowing away in your melon or anywhere else. And then we’ll go through the lore books to see if there’s any way we can prevent her from getting her claws in again.” Dean stroked Sam’s hair “And then we’ll hunt the bitch down and stab her in the brain. Okay?”

Sam turned and looked at Dean and smiled. “Yeah, I like that plan.”

Sam already felt lighter, cleaner. It was good to confront the issue and put a plan into action. He laid his chin back on his arms, and let Dean continue rubbing his back. Dean could tell Sam felt better, his muscles weren’t nearly as knotted as they were an hour ago, but he wasn’t convinced he got the whole story.

“What else is there Sam? Anything you want to tell me?” Dean asked, trying not to sound accusing or too pushy. He was happy with where Sam was right now. Slowly unraveling beneath his fingers, He can’t think of a time in recent memory where Sam seemed this relaxed. It was good to know it was still possible.

Sam thought for a moment because he wasn’t completely sure what else was wrong. He had already told Dean what happened, and the fears left behind, and now they have a plan of action, but one thing still kept coming to the front of his mind.

“I guess that I just don’t like that being my last sexual experience. Even though it wasn’t real, it felt like it, and I don’t like that it stays in my mind that way.”

“Do you mean last like most recent, or last as in final sexual experience?” Dean asked with obvious alarm.

“Both I guess,” Sam answered. A bit puzzled himself at his own realization.

“Why do you think you might not have sex again?” Dean couldn’t even imagine having such a thought himself. Would he ever think of any sexual encounter as his last? God, he hoped not.

“Well, I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I probably won't ever settle down with a woman, and I’d never bring someone into the life that isn't already in it, and if she was already in it, then I wouldn't want us to worry twice as much as before. So yeah, it’s probably my last.” Sam said with conviction.

“That’s bullshit Sam! You don’t need the white picket fence with a wife and 2.5 children to have sex, we can find you a nice girl on a dating app, or Piper, maybe we can look up Piper again and you guys could be, you know, like friends with benefits or something.”

Dean’s heart broke a little thinking of Sam never being touched or cared for in that way. Dean thought any woman in the world would be honored to be his girl. Hell, half the guys in the world too if he was into that. It was painful to hear him giving up so easily.

Sam was a little shocked at the look on Dean’s face. It never occurred to him that Dean ever gave it any thought. However Sam didn’t mind the idea of never having a sexual relationship again, he only minded having mostly bad ones in his memories.

“Dean, you know I'm not really into one nighters. I've had more meaningless sex then I’ve had good sex, and I’m just better off without it. “

Sam knew that wasn’t completely true. He would miss it, a man has needs after all, but he wouldn't miss the heartache. Not only with the fact that it wouldn’t be permanent, but the fact that he knew deep down, no romantic love could ever compare to the love he had for his brother. He had thought he could make a life with Jess or Amelia once, but in both cases, as soon as Dean was back in his life, he knew he would rather spend his life with him, than anyone else.

He never told Dean that, it sounded too pathetic, and maybe even wrong, but it was true. He couldn't admit it to Dean, even though he thought Dean might feel the same way since Dean never tried to settle down except for when he thought Sam was dead.

Sam remembered when he was soulless, that Dean had gotten pissed at Bobby for not telling him Sam was still alive. Bobby had said he kept quiet because for once Dean had what he wanted, a good woman, a kid and a normal life, but Dean responded with “What I wanted was my brother, ALIVE!”

It made no sense to Sam at that moment, but he understood now. “We belong to each other and that's all”. He thought and closed his eyes.

Sam was quiet. Dean felt better about his brother’s state of mind but kept mulling over his words over the past several hours. Still fixated on Sam’s back, still shiny and slick from the oil. Dean started tracing patterns on Sam’s skin with his finger. Drawing little symbols, barely noticeable across his shoulders and down his spine. He thought Sam might be asleep until he spoke.

“What are you drawing?” Sam said with a quiet curiosity in his voice.

“Warding sigils” Dean answered without stopping in his work

“For what?”

“I want to keep every living breathing, undead, creeping, crawling, evil piece of shit away from you forever Sammy.”

A fresh set of goose bumps rose over Sam’s skin. Dean smiled in satisfaction once again.

Sam raised himself up on his elbows to see Dean’s face. Dean was still settled on his left arm while drawing on Sam’s back. Sam loved how he looked right now. His hair a little messy, smile lines in deep creases around his eyes.

“You really do want that, don't you? To keep anything that can hurt me away from me.”

“Well, not everything maybe. I mean, I can still kick your ass, and I'm not going anywhere.” Dean’s green eyes nearly glowed in the dim light of the TV. Sam was lost in them.

Laws of the Universe be damned! He never felt more loved in his life than he did right now. He freed an arm from beneath the pillow and wrapped it around Dean’s back. Dean pressed his hand flat against Sam’s back and pulled himself in closer. They breathed in each other's air for just a moment before letting their lips touch, in a soft, cautious kiss.

Dean stroked Sam’s hair as he pulled away. As if promising the discussion wasn’t over. Sam’s eyes were opened wide and dark with arousal, tainted by a little fear that shown across his brow. There had been only one other time they accidentally kissed, and that was a decade or so ago, after too much beer and not enough weed at the Ozzy show, when they knew they couldn’t drive and ended up sleeping in the Impala in the stadium parking lot.

Neither remembered how it happened, and neither had spoken of it since. Sam recalled the event, and the awkwardness that surrounded the both of them in the following days, and silently prayed that wasn’t about to happen again.

Dean ran his thumb along Sam’s jawline, meeting his eyes. “Sammy,” Dean spoke in nearly a whisper “I’ll give you anything you want, you know that. But you have to tell me if this is what you want.”

Sam took a moment to process what he just heard, Dean was already on board, he just needed Sam’s consent on the matter. “It’s okay Dean, I want this.” and he smiled nervously. He could feel Dean trembling in time with his own.

Dean mimicked Sam’s smile. He wanted to take a moment to enjoy the want in his brother’s eyes before taking things to a level they’ve never been before.

“If we cross this line, Sammy, you have to promise me, no matter what shit this universe throws at us, that you won't take it back. You won't try to leave me again or pretend it never happened. I don’t think I could handle it.”

Dean was serious. He loved Sam, in every way imaginable. He was always willing to keep most of that to himself, but not anymore, not if they were going to break their own unspoken rule.

Sam worried about the same. How would Dean be tomorrow? Would they live and hunt in this painfully awkward silence for weeks, or months, before they just went back to the same old grind?

Sam wanted to give Dean everything, and take everything he had. And build on it. He wasn’t afraid to cross the line with his brother, honestly, of all the lines they’ve crossed for each other, this one was the least terrifying.

“I promise Dean, I won't leave you. You’ll never be able to get rid of me.”

The smile on Sam’s face was so full of light and dimples, that Dean couldn’t wait to taste it. He kissed Sam hard and pulled him in so close that it hurt a little as Sam’s chest heaved against his own while trying to catch his breath. Their tongues fighting for dominance in each other's mouths. There was no turning back now.

Sam could barely breathe, and his heart was beating out of his chest. He could hear the thuds becoming more rapid in his ears, and a wave of dizziness threatened to make him pass out. This wasn’t the first time he's had a panic attack, but it was indeed the worst time to have one.

“Breathe through your nose Sam. It’s okay, this is Dean, he won't hurt you, you’re safe, just breathe.” Sam told himself. “Count to 20, try to remember the names of the High Schools you attended.” He tried to think of the names, but it was too hard to concentrate on anything other than staying conscious.

“Dean!” Sam uttered sharply, chest heaving but not releasing his brother from the death grip he had on his shoulder blades. He buried his face into the crook of Dean’s neck. “Stop, please slow down. Let… let me catch my breath.”

Dean stopped immediately and pulled back. He held Sam’s face in his hand to assess what was happening.

“You okay Sammy? I’ll stop, we don’t have to do this if you don't want to. Talk to me”

Sam flopped onto his back, squeezed his eyes shut and put his hand in his hair, nearly hyperventilating. He took a couple long deep breaths before trying to speak. Sweating and shivering at the same time “God my body is so fucking weird” he thought to himself and laughed a little at the idea of how stupid he must look right now.

“It’s okay, I’m okay…. I… I’m just … huh.. I’m just really nervous. Just slow down and let me breathe for a bit. It’ll pass.” And he knew it would. Sometimes when he had a panic attack before, he would go to his “happy place” in his mind to help calm him down.

That “happy place” however, was the image of him and his brother entwined in a naked embrace. And now that they were nearly in that situation, Sam was having a little trouble finding somewhere to redirect his anxiety.

Dean has always been sensitive to Sam’s anxiety, it wasn’t like he couldn’t relate, but sometimes he would joke about it, just to get Sam to smile, Sam didn’t like to be fussed over or to draw attention to himself, so Dean would try to lighten the mood. However this was an odd situation for them both, Dean pressed a hand on Sam’s chest, he could feel it cold a damp with sweat and his heart pounding beneath it.

“Let me get you some water.” Dean got off the bed and rinsed Sam’s glass in the sink and brought him some water. “Here, drink up” Sam swallowed it all in 2 gulps and laid back down, still breathing hard but more steady. Dean returned to his spot beside his brother, noticing the color returning to his cheeks.

“It’s passing,” Sam said. “Thanks, man… I'm glad you’re here”

“What was that about Sam? That was kinda scary.” Dean spoke with an air of concern in his voice.

“It was nothing really, just got freaked out for a moment, but I’m alright now.”

Dean was visibly curious as to what might have freaked Sam out.“Was it something I did? I told you we can take this as slow or as fast as you want.”

Sam felt sad for Dean, he could see he was being honest and was worried he did something wrong, but Sam reassured him. “No Dean, you didn’t do anything wrong, This is just new to me you know? This is a first, not only with you but with any guy. I've never even kissed a guy before.”

“Well I know that Sammy and neither have I, but I've been around many blocks with many women, and I just figure how much different can you be?”

Sam kicked Dean sharply in the shin and Dean laughed “OW Sammy! I was only kidding, I just want you to laugh is all. I'm sorry.” he smiled and kissed Sam’s head. “See? You’re feeling better aren’t you?”

“A little… yeah.” Sam swallowed hard. Still visibly nervous, but Dean wanted to take every trace of anxiety away from his brother and erase it forever, but he could tell Sam’s brain was still working overtime.

“What if I disappoint you, Dean?” Sam met Dean’s eyes again.

“Disappoint me? How could you disappoint me? What, am I gonna get offended if you fall in love with me, or want to move in with me? ‘Cause, to be honest, Sammy, that ship has sailed.”

“No.” Sam rolled his eyes “you don’t get it. “ Sam propped himself up on his elbow and cupped Dean’s face with his hand. “I'm not … I'm not a woman. I don’t know how to do some… things. And I don’t know which roles we’re supposed to be playing in this.”

Dean took Sam’s hand and gently laid him back down. He ran his hand up Sam’s long forearm, and over his bicep. Sam’s eyes watching him, as he let his fingers trace the line of his clavicle. The hair on Sam’s chest was always thicker than his own, and always made Dean feel a little less masculine when their shirts were off, but now as he felt its softness under his fingers and how they stood on end a little bit as he traced a line down to Sam’s navel. If there had ever been any doubt, that Sam is not a woman, it was definitely squelched.

Sam’s abs were tight and defined, and trembled under Dean’s hands as he stroked over the ridges. Looking down, Dean could see the huge bulge in Sam’s pants threatening to pop out of his waistband, and he teased his fingers just above and let his hand rest on Sam’s hip.

“Sammy,” Dean said as he gripped Sam’s hip and leaned himself into him. “I am fully aware that you’re not a woman. And to be completely honest with you…” He let his eyes wander down the length of Sam’s long body “looking at you right now? You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

Sam’s breathing labored again, but not with anxiety this time, but excitement. He’s never heard words like that come out of anyone’s mouth directed at him in his life. He was always called “cute” and on occasions “attractive” but usually “big’ “tall” or “nerdy”. Does Dean really think he’s beautiful? He could feel his body heat rise from his feet to his head, and it was getting hard to keep his body still.

Dean grinned as Sam fidgeted alongside him. “Tell you what. We don’t need to figure out any roles between us.” He sat up only long enough to take his shirt off, and lay back down, lying one leg across Sam’s. “How about we just do what feels good, and go from there?” Sam nodded in agreement.

Dean leaned down and gave Sam a quick teasing kiss on the lips, and moved his mouth over to whisper in his ear “I want to peel your pajama pants off and eat you like a banana”

Sam didn’t even try to stifle his laugh “Seriously? Is that your best line?”

“Hm didn’t work?” Dean faked a perplexed look.

“Heh, no, not even a little.” Sam chuckled in response.

Dean looked around and found the bottle of massage oil and squirted a generous amount on Sam’s stomach. “Guess I’ll try something else.”

Dean smoothed the oil over Sam’s stomach, relishing in the way it expanded and contracted with his breathing. He moved his hand along Sam’s ribs and down his back pulling his bottom half in closer to his own and nudged his legs apart with his knee. Only 2 thin layers of fabric separated their growing erections.

Sam was fully on board with the proceedings and followed suit with a handful of oil for himself. He spread it with his huge hands down Dean’s back and grinned happily so see someone else in the room had goosebumps as well. He kissed Dean hard. Nipping at his lower lip while fighting the urge to devour him.

Kissing his chin and up his jawline, He could feel his own hard dick throbbing and threatening to explode before either of them were naked. He pressed himself into Dean’s hip and became aware quickly that Dean was not far behind, if at all. He hoped Dean would get the hint to move this along before he embarrassed himself.

Dean picked up on what Sam’s body was telling him and slipped a hand into his pants and squeezed the cheek of Sam’s tight ass. He held on for just a moment before letting his fingertips graze the back of Sam’s thigh. And there it was. A low agonizing moan escaped Sam’s throat, and Dean knew he found a sweet spot he would file away and use over and over again forever. Sam bucked his hips so hard, Dean knew he was close.

Sam’s hands were shaking. He tried to focus on keeping them steady so Dean didn’t think he won this little chicken fight. He slid his oil slicked hand into Dean’s pants to get a handful of his tight round ass too, and as much as he liked doing so, he decided these pants have to go and took the initiative to push Dean’s pants down far enough that Dean could kick them off the rest of the way.

Dean did so and returned the favor to Sam. Both took a moment to look at each other. They had seen each other naked many times but never aroused, and never took a moment to enjoy the whole package. Both were very well endowed. Sam was a bit longer, but Dean was thicker. Both were impressed, and neither were embarrassed at the moment.

Dean pulled Sam in as close as he could for the first hug they’ve ever had skin to skin, With no barriers. Sam clung to him as if he’d be sucked away into a void if he ever let go. The secret wish Sam had always hoped for, was happening right now and it was almost too much to bear.

He closed his eyes tight, trying to take a mental picture of this entire moment. The feel, the sounds, the smells… everything in the moment was more than he ever imagined. He fought back the urge to cry for the 3rd time today.

Sam was warm. Dean could feel his heartbeat against his own and he swore they were in perfect rhythm. But why wouldn’t they be? He always knew they shared the same heart and soul, and now they were even sharing the same body.

He kissed Sam’s shoulders and up his neck. He could feel Sam’s stubble scratching his cheek, also a very new feeling. He could feel Sam squirming and causing their erections to rub against each other. Dean put his left hand into Sam’s hair, that was now a little damp, and ran his right hand down to the small of his back that was now collecting beads of sweat mixing in with the oil.

Sam was digging his fingers into his back and biting his shoulder. Somewhat painfully too, so he tugged Sam’s head back by his hair, just far enough for him to kiss him again. Dean’s new favorite thing. Kissing Sam. And he’s going to do it as often as he can.

Sam was nearing the point of no return, and trying his hardest to think of anything else besides the proverbial dam break that was coming too soon if he didn’t get a grip “haha funny brain you’re so not helping.” Sam thought to himself. What was arousing him most was how aroused Dean was.

This was just Sammy, his annoying little brother who managed to break the world as often as he saved it, and Dean was always there to help pick up the pieces. He didn’t know if he deserved this much pleasure, but he was sure they deserved each other.

Dean kissed Sam deeply. No tongue wrestling now, this was just love. And not just love it was more. It was something the English language hadn’t developed a word for. Maybe because no one had ever experienced it. It was truly magic, and not the stale, half-assed magic they had seen and performed in their twisted, torn up lives, but …. Something.

Sam was overheating and dripping sweat down his face. Dean didn’t care. It even tasted good. It tasted like victory. Sam’s dick was hard enough to cut diamonds, and Dean wanted to tease just a little longer until he heard “Dean… please” come from his brother in a low breathy voice saturated in desperation.

He could almost see the words hanging in the air, and dripping all over him. Dean’s NEW new favorite thing. He collected some oil off Sam’s back and gently took Sam’s cock in his hand. “Ok, Sammy? Is this good?”

“God yes… that’s good.” Sam whispers as he takes Dean in hand as well. Stroking each other, and trying to find a good uniform rhythm was futile. Sam had a steel grip and a more rapid pace, while Dean was slower and paid more attention to the head of Sam’s dick. Oddly enough, it felt perfect for both. Sam is loud. Dean never knew this. He had never been in earshot of him while he had sex with anyone else. However, they were the same grunts and groans he made while fighting. Dean thought he might now get turned on every time he was in earshot of Sam fighting.

Sam could feel the build up threaten to overflow any second. “Dean… DEAN!!”

“Fuck! Sammy, you’re gonna make me come if you keep doing that” And with one hard grunt like he just pushed a boulder up a hill, Sam shot the warm fluids between their stomachs and down Dean’s hand, and Dean lost himself in response.

Dean thought he’s never come so hard in his life and was pretty sure Sam never had. Now they pressed together panting. Half laughing and completely spent. They shared a few light kisses before Dean grabbed his t-shirt so they could clean themselves off.

“You alright Sammy?” He watched Sam’s chest heave as he tried to catch his breath again

“Yeah, I'm good. I'm actually really good Dean. Thank you.” Sam smiled in a way Dean had never seen and added that to the growing list of his new favorite things.

“You’re welcome. You know I'm here to please so if you ever…..” Dean let Sam fill in the blanks.

“Yeah, sure! I might even text you while you’re on the road someday.” Sam joked in response.

“Absolutely! But I'm gonna go take a leak. You get comfortable and we can pick this up when I get back."

“Yeah…. Sure.” Sam said with a big yawn.

Dean knew this exploration session was done for now, and as suspected, when he got back, Sam was snoring peacefully.

Dean slid behind him under the blankets. “Goodnight Sammy.” and kissed his head.

@winchesterprincessbride @eruthiawenluin @txdora thank you guys for all the help and inspiration!! Love you gals!

#supernatural #wincest #depressed!sam #comforting!dean #slow burn #much bro love #so much bro love #season 12 #low smut

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mystery-moose · 7 years

Text

FIC: Angus McDonald and the Flight of the Flying V (5/?)

[AO3 link]

They’ve come a long way, but even ten years after the world was saved, they’re still not quite where they should be. A whim, a missing painting, and a handful of near-death experiences help a flip wizard and his apprentice bridge the gap.

Taako does his best. Angus takes some risks. Introductions are made, bonds are tested, and lessons are learned — better late than never.

The route Angus chose led them to a big square near the center of Neverwinter, a crossroads of a dozen different streets converging onto a central marketplace packed with people from every corner of Faerun. There was a clock tower here, covered in ornate golden filigree, stretching up into the sky. It was one of the tallest buildings outside the noble quarter, and besides serving as an easily visible landmark, kept excellent time.

It was a little past eleven, now. Angus knew the schedules well enough to figure they'd be able to score tickets easy enough, but he wanted to avoid the afternoon rush.

Taako wasn't exactly cooperating.

"How much?"

The aarakocra merchant pointed to the sign hanging from his cart. "Fifty gold, sixty for the shawl."

Taako blanched, the cloak he'd been admiring draped over his hands. "Sixty?! I wouldn't pay thirty for this thing!"

"Price is the price, wingless," the merchant said firmly. "You wanna haggle, go bother the rakshasa."

"Why would I haggle?" Taako scoffed, rolling up the cloak. "Stuff ain't worth my time, anyway."

Angus stood behind Taako, glancing around. He always kept one eye open and a hand on his coin purse whenever he traveled through the market square; getting his pocket picked one unlucky afternoon had taught him that lesson.

Good thing, too, since he was attentive enough to see Taako slip a scarf from underneath the cloak he was replacing on the cart. He tucked it behind his back with the practiced ease of a petty thief.

"This is all fine-count Calimshan silk, dunce," the merchant shot back, his feathers ruffling. "You won't find better prices north of Memnon!"

"Don't bullshit a bullshitter, thug," Taako drawled with a smug grin. "This is a big-ass brand-name markup for chumps, and we both know it."

"Markup?!"

"This is some cast-off outlet shit you got from a thrift store in Tethyr, my dude! You're tripling your money at thirty gold."

Angus touched Taako's shoulder. "Sir? We should really get moving."

As Taako turned to face Angus, he reached over and discreetly pulled the scarf from Taako's belt. Taako's eyebrow twitched, but he grinned and laughed it off.

"No big shakes, boychik," he said casually. "Nothing here worth these prices, anyway."

The aarakocra grumbled, his wings unfurling slightly. "Forty five!"

"For the shawl?"

"No, the cloak!"

He turned away again, disinterested. The merchant made a disgusted noise.

"Fine! Forty five for the shawl!" He grumbled. "You're scaring off my business."

Taako turned and grinned. "Deal!" he said triumphantly, reaching for his coin purse while Angus tried to stealthily replace the scarf on the cart.

Suddenly, Taako spun and his ears pricked up visibly. Angus was about to ask what was wrong when he heard it himself — a sudden crash, loud and clattering, followed by the sound of screams almost drowned out by the noise of the crowd. He barely had time to react before Taako tackled him to the ground.

A wagon, small and built for city travel, crashed through the market stall behind them. People scattered in every direction as it raced through the square, heedless of pedestrians, bouncing over the cobblestones and coming within two feet of where Taako and Angus lay. They watched as the aarakocra took to the air while the wagon splintered his cart, then, accompanied by the screeching crash of wood and metal, it was suddenly stopped by a spell — Bigby's Hand, glowing a neon red, had appeared in front of the wagon and blocked its path.

Angus pushed himself to his feet. Taako was alongside him, dusting himself off. "The hell did that come from?"

"Alright, everyone, please step back!"

A woman, tall and broad shouldered with a long braid wrapped around her neck and a scar on her forehead, marched out of the crowd. She wore shiny full-plate armor and a tabard bearing the sigil of Neverwinter. Angus recognized her instantly as Dierdre Boudicca, Lord-Commander of the militia.

"This isn't a show!" she shouted, marching forward towards the wreckage. "If you need medical attention, speak up! Healers are on their way!"

"Hey! You still have to pay for that!"

He glanced over his shoulder — Taako was halfway through stuffing a shawl into his purse, smiling innocently while the merchant perched with his arms crossed on the ruins of his cart. Angus gave him a look, and Taako rolled his eyes before pulling out his coin purse.

Angus turned back to the crime scene. Militia men and women swarmed around Boudicca, pushing people away and trying to establish a cordon. The massive spectral hand disappeared as another woman he recognized stepped out of the crowd — shorter, younger, and clad in typical militia leathers and longcoat rather than heavy armor. Angus waved and managed to catch her attention.

He liked Silvia a lot. She was clever, compassionate, and had a strong sense of right and wrong. They'd collaborated on a few cases together, and though he'd been prepared for obstinacy, she'd helped as much as she could. It was more than he'd expected from anyone in the militia; private detectives weren't exactly popular with law enforcement. Angus had come to think of her as a very good friend, and he appreciated her help.

(He also appreciated her hair, thick and curly and tied behind her head. And her eyes, hazel brown set against mahogany skin. And her nose, a bit bigger than his, which scrunched up when she laughed. He didn't make any particular judgments about these things, of course. He just noticed them, that's all.)

"McDonald!" Silvia said with a grin as she approached. "Don't tell me this is one of yours?"

Angus smiled back. "No such luck. Can't expect every crook to just fall into your lap."

"You'd be surprised," she said, glancing back towards the wagon. Boudicca was directing others as they hauled the driver out. "Just sort of stumbled into this one, believe it or not. Wanted thief rounds a corner right into the Lord-Commander doing her weekly inspection. He bolts, hijacks a wagon, and there I am doing my rounds when he peels around a corner into the market."

"Jeez. Talk about bad luck."

"For him, sure." She turned back and smirked. "It's all a matter of perspective, right?"

Angus chuckled. Then his eyebrows rose. "Oh, hey, can I ask you for a favor?"

"Sure. What's up?"

He pulled out his notebook, tore out half a page and handed it to her.

"I'm working a new case," he explained. "Nothing I can talk about, yet, but if you happen to hear anything about a noted thief in town, or run into any seventh-level Evocation, could you let me know?"

"Real hush-hush, huh?" she drawled, taking the scrap of paper from him.

"Sorry," Angus said sincerely. "Client privilege."

"It's cool. I get it." Silvia stuck it in her pocket. "I'll keep an ear to the ground."

"Thanks, lieutenant. Really."

"No problem." Silvia leaned around to look past him. "Who's your friend?"

Uh oh.

Taako shoved Angus to the side as he stepped forward. "Hail and well met and stuff," he said, tipping his hat and grinning his Cheshire cat grin. "Name's Taako. What's your handle, maydl?"

Silvia's eyes widened as she glanced briefly at Angus. "So you're Taako, huh?"

"That's what it says on the merch! Why?" Taako leaned in conspiratorially. "Has Agnes been telling stories? Because I can guarantee at least half of them are true. Which half is up to you!"

She laughed, and extended her hand. "Lieutenant Silvia Hayden, Neverwinter militia. Nice to finally meet you, Taako."

Taako shook her hand firmly. He cocked an eyebrow. "You moisturize?"

"Got to, in this climate."

He nodded approvingly. "Nice."

Angus cleared his throat. "We're, uh, actually in a hurry, so—"

"News to me, my dude!" said Taako. Then he turned back to Silvia. "Why don't we do lunch? Boy's rail thin, needs to put on some ell-bees."

Angus sputtered. Silvia grinned, but shook her head.

"Can't," she said apologetically. "Got some legwork of my own to do. Angus isn't the only one who has to work for a living."

"Yeah, speaking of—"

"How about dinner then? His place." Taako leaned forward. "I make a mean risotto!"

"We should really get going—"

"Sounds great," Silvia said, barely restraining a laugh as she glanced between the two of them. "But I've got a thing. Rain check?"

"Sure, sure! Anytime's cool for us!" Taako said cheerily, elbowing Angus in the ribs. "Ain't that right, Angarang?"

Angus got between them and started to push Taako away. "Sorry, really gotta go! Talk to you later, lieutenant!"

"Give us a buzz!" Taako shouted over Angus' shoulder.

The moment they were through the crowd and out of the market, Taako burst into laughter.

"That wasn't funny!" Angus said, stamping his foot like he was eleven years old again.

"Au contraire, mon frere!" Taako managed to gasp. "That was fantastic!"

Angus moaned and rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses while Taako steadied himself on his shoulder.

"Oh, kiddo," he sighed. "What a gift."

"To whom?"

"Me, mostly," Taako said honestly. "But don't worry, we'll get you that date yet."

Angus took off his cap and hit Taako over the head with it, which only made him laugh harder. "She is a friend and colleague!"

"Oh, don't play dumb!" he retorted, grinning wickedly. "She's your fucking crush, dipshit!"

Angus continued to hit Taako with his cap as the elf cackled maniacally. The final blow knocked his hat off. With a harrumph, Angus slammed his cap back on his head and stomped off down the street. He heard Taako follow close behind, still giggling, and the telltale sound of his umbrella wooshing through the air as he swung it idly.

In all honesty, that had gone about as well as he'd expected it to.

#the adventure zone #thezonecast #angus mcdonald #taako #fanfiction #post-campaign #mystery #adventure

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hueman-blog · 7 years

Text

Answering Personal Questions

I made a user I follow, @razzledazzlefoshazzle , answer all of these on his blog. I’m feeling guilty so I’m gonna do it too. I know none of you asked but HERE GOES MY PERSONAL INFO!!!

200: My crush’s name is: Averi  199: I was born in: Place? Lancaster, PA, USA. Year? 1999  198: I am really: Bored and unmotivated  197: My cellphone company is: Apple  196: My eye color is: Brown  195: My shoe size is: 8-9 Women’s US  194: My ring size is: Idk, something little  193: My height is: 5'4" I’m little  192: I am allergic to: Stupid people  191: My 1st car was: Never had one  190: My 1st job was: Cashier at California Tortilla (a fast food Mexican franchise around D.C.)  189: Last book you read: Cradle and All 188: My bed is: My safest place, my true home, and also too empty  187: My pet: Doesn’t do much  186: My best friend: Is my girlfriend  185: My favorite shampoo is: Shamu  184: Xbox or ps3: Deck of cards  183: Piggy banks are: Cute decoration, inefficient coin collector  182: In my pockets: I’m in pajamas  181: On my calendar: Work, as that’s the only thing in my life scheduled. Also a haircut within a few days  180: Marriage is: Great for legal benefits, stupid for expensive ceremonies  179: Spongebob can: Please end soon it turned idiotic long ago  178: My mom: Is abusive (sorry to bring the mood down)  177: The last three songs I bought were? Who buys songs anymore??  176: Last YouTube video watched: History of the World  175: How many cousins do you have? On my dad’s side, 8. On my mom’s side, no idea  174: Do you have any siblings? An older brother  173: Are your parents divorced? Nope  172: Are you taller than your mom? Probably not  171: Do you play an instrument? Nope  170: What did you do yesterday? Absolutely nothing just like every day

[ I Believe In ]  169: Love at first sight: Nope  168: Luck: Yes  167: Fate: Nope  166: Yourself: Not really  165: Aliens: Yeah there’s gotta be some life out there  164: Heaven: No  163: Hell: No  162: God: The Flying Spaghetti Monster? Hell yes. Be boiled for your sins  161: Horoscopes: Nope and frankly if you do I find you uneducated  160: Soul mates: No  159: Ghosts: Nah  158: Gay Marriage: Believing??? In love,??? And commitment??????? Between two people???????? Obviously!  157: War: Never  156: Orbs: I believe in Orbeez  155: Magic: No it’s just science we can’t explain, or illusions we can’t see the entirety of

[ This or That ]  154: Hugs or Kisses: Kisses  153: Drunk or High: Music  152: Phone or Online: Online on my phone  151: Red heads or Black haired: Black haired  150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes  149: Hot or cold: Hot  148: Summer or winter: Summer  147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn  146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate  145: Night or Day: Night  144: Oranges or Apples: Apples  143: Curly or Straight hair: Straight  142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds  141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk Chocolate  140: Mac or PC: Mac!!  139: Flip flops or high heels: Flip Flops  138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: ugly and sweet are opposites now?? I guess sweet and poor  137: Coke or Pepsi: Fruit Punch  136: Hillary or Obama: Obama  135: Burried or cremated: Cremated  134: Singing or Dancing: Singing  133: Coach or Chanel: Money to spend on actual useful things  132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Who???  131: Small town or Big city: Big City  130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target  129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Both suck, but I’d choose Stiller  128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure. My feet are too ticklish  127: East Coast or West Coast: West Coast USA  126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas, I don’t like being the center of attention  125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate  124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney  123: Yankees or Red Sox: What is a sport? How do??

[ Here’s What I Think About ]  122: War: What is it good for? Absolutely nothing  121: George Bush: “Mr. President, what are your thoughts on Katrina?” “We’re gonna find her. And we’re gonna bring her to justice.“  120: Gay Marriage: Its a marriage between two people in love. Celebrate, but don’t go broke in one day  119: The presidential election: Media and rich people control it basically, and I’d rather it be an actual democratic popular vote. Trump is a clown and should have never won  118: Abortion: Its a woman’s right to choose. Personally I think the world is overpopulated anyway and more people should adopt rather than try to conceive  117: MySpace: Never had one  116: Reality TV: Scripted, not reality  115: Parents: Good or bad, they influence your whole life because they were there at the start. Mine went bad and ruined me  114: Back stabbers: Oh I love them- what?? They suck. No one should be betrayed like that  113: Ebay: Never used it but it got the ball rolling for Amazon  112: Facebook: I only use it to message/call my friends, and to see unlimited amounts of dogs  111: Work: It’s a necessary evil  110: My Neighbors: Quiet, the only one I met was a total bitch though  109: Gas Prices: I don’t drive  108: Designer Clothes: C'mon people there are way better uses for your money  107: College: Shouldn’t be expected of teenagers  106: Sports: Boring, overhyped, the players overpaid  105: My family: Worthless, judgmental pricks  104: The future: Uncertain

[ Last time I ]  103: Hugged someone: Sunday (3 days ago), when my friend picked me up from work  102: Last time you ate: Italian ice about 1.5 hours ago (8:15pm)  101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: A month ago  100: Cried in front of someone: A month ago maybe??  99: Went to a movie theater: Many many months ago  98: Took a vacation: A year ago  97: Swam in a pool: Two years ago?  96: Changed a diaper: Never  95: Got my nails done: My 16th birthday I think (almost two years ago)  94: Went to a wedding: Eight years ago?  93: Broke a bone: Never  92: Got a peircing: I was 14 and got my ears pierced (almost 4 years ago)  91: Broke the law: Never  90: Texted: A minute ago

[ MISC ]  89: Who makes you laugh the most: My friend Brad. He’s so inappropriate but his jokes I cannot stop laughing at  88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Not paying bills other than Internet  87: The last movie I saw: Coraline  86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Moving to California  85: The thing im not looking forward to: Paying for rent in California  84: People call me: To friends: Lys. To family: Alyssa. To my girlfriend: Lyssy. To everyone else: annoying  83: The most difficult thing to do is: Get up out of bed every day  82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Nope I do not drive  81: My zodiac sign is: Cancer  80: The first person i talked to today was: My friend Jessica  79: First time you had a crush: Preschool, this boy in my class Marshall  78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Myself  77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Yesterday, idk?  76: Right now I am talking to: My phone in the way of typing  75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Survive hopefully. I also wanna be a flight attendant  74: I have/will get a job: Have a job as assistant manager of an arcade  73: Tomorrow: I’m going food shopping and seeing my annoying cousin Barbara (she has two boyfriends and they both treat her like shit. It’s not poly it’s just cheating)  72: Today: I actually made a meal that was nice  71: Next Summer: I’ll be living in California  70: Next Weekend: I have to face my parents for the first time since February. I hate it  69: I have these pets: A ball of moss named Mo  68: The worst sound in the world: My girlfriend crying  67: The person that makes me cry the most is: My father  66: People that make you happy: My girlfriend Averi  65: Last time I cried: A few weeks ago??  64: My friends are: Averi, Raven, Jessica  63: My computer is: My phone  62: My School: Is nonexistent  61: My Car: Is also nonexistent  60: I lose all respect for people who: Hate on others for no reason  59: The movie I cried at was: Toy Story 3  58: Your hair color is: Black  57: TV shows you watch: None  56: Favorite web site: Tumblr usually  55: Your dream vacation: California  54: The worst pain I was ever in was: Once I got constipated a few months ago for 48 hours. I screamed  53: How do you like your steak cooked: Medium  52: My room is: Either super messy or super clean. Right now messy  51: My favorite celebrity is: Jacksepticeye  50: Where would you like to be: In my girlfriend’s arms on a beach  49: Do you want children: Right now I don’t think I ever would but if I ever did I’d adopt  48: Ever been in love: Yes I am now  47: Who’s your best friend: My girl  46: More guy friends or girl friends: Girl friends  45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Sleeping  44: One person that you wish you could see right now: AVERI  43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Stalin did  42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Nope  41: Have you pre-named your children: I did with my ex. Never again  40: Last person I got mad at: My grandmother  39: I would like to move to: California  38: I wish I was a professional: Sleeper [ My Favorites ]  37: Candy: Swedish Fish or Nerds  36: Vehicle: Volkswagen Beetle  35: President: Biden  34: State visited: California  33: Cellphone provider: Cricket  32: Athlete: Me, running from my responsibilities  31: Actor: Eddie Redmayne  30: Actress: Anna Kendrick  29: Singer: Laura Jane Grace  28: Band: Against Me!  27: Clothing store: Thrift shops  26: Grocery store: Safeway  25: TV show: Adventure Time  24: Movie: Wall-E  23: Website: Pornhu- I mean Tumblr  22: Animal: Red Panda  21: Theme park: Disney World  20: Holiday: Christmas  19: Sport to watch: Extreme Chess Mega X  18: Sport to play: How Late Can I Get Up Before Concerning My Family  17: Magazine: :enizagaM  16: Book: The Underneath  15: Day of the week: Saturday  14: Beach: Any beach  13: Concert attended: Fall Out Boy x Paramore  12: Thing to cook: Pasta with alfredo sauce  11: Food: Bacon egg & cheese on a bagel  10: Restaurant: TGI Fridays  9: Radio station: Night Vale Community Radio  8: Yankee candle scent: Ass  7: Perfume: Averi’s  6: Flower: Averi  5: Color: Orange - the color of Averi’s voice  4: Talk show host: John Oliver  3: Comedian: Bo Burnham  2: Dog breed: Corgi  1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Hell yeah I wouldn’t lie to you

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lovemesomesurveys · 8 years

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1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers? My desktop is a playful photo of Alexander Skarsgård with two dogs, my lock screen is a photo of, no surprise here, Alexander Skarsgård, and my home screen is a photo of my chocolate lab, Brandie.

2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? No.

3) What was your last text message? My brother asking me to open the door for him when he got home earlier.

4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years? I have no idea. I have to take things day by day.

5) If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be? Hmm. In a cozy cabin by the fireplace with a cup of coffee.

6) What was your coolest Halloween costume? I don’t know what I’d consider my coolest to be.

7) What was your favorite 90s show? I watched like All That, Rugrats, Doug, etc.

8) Who was your last kiss? Joseph.

9) Have you ever been stood up? Yes.

10) Favorite ice cream flavor? Strawberry and birthday cake.

11) Have you been to Las Vegas? No.

12) Your favorite pair of shoes? My All Star Addidas.

13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other? I’m single.

14) What is your favorite fruit? Bananas.

15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible? No.

16) Are you into hookups? Short or long term relationships? No. I did the friends with benefits, fling thing. I’m almost thirty years old, I want something real.

17) Do you smoke? If so, what? I used to smoke weed sometimes.

18) What do you do to get over your anger? Mostly I cry and just sulk. Vent about it in a survey.

19) Do you believe in God? Yes.

20) Does the person you’re in love with know it? I’m not in love with anyone.

21) Favorite position? I wouldn’t know.

22) What’s your horoscope sign? Leo.

23) Your fears? Death of loved ones and myself, things just getting worse and never changing, failure, disappointment, all bugs/insects, closed spaces, heights, deep water, needles, the dentist, etc, etc.

24) How many pets do you have? What kind? I don’t have any anymore. :( For eight years we had a loving, sweet, kind, adorable, silly chocolate lab named Brandie. She passed away unexpectedly two months ago. It still hurts. I miss her everyday, she was my baby. <3

25) What never fails to turn you on? Alexander Skarsgård.

26) Your idea of a perfect first date? I always thought the beach and boardwalk thing sounded cute. Like riding the rides and play games on the boardwalk and such. Winning me a stuffed animal. Eating cotton candy and other yummy food. Something like that.

27) What is something most people don’t know about you? Hmm...

28) What makes you feel the happiest? My dog did. :(

29) What store do you shop at most often? Nowadays, the only store I go to regularly is Wal-Mart because we do our grocery shopping there. I haven’t been to the mall or did any clothes shopping in awhile. One of my friends and I used to go to the mall once a month, but then stuff happened in both of our lives and we just haven’t gone in awhile.

30) How do you feel about oral? Giving and/or receiving? I never have done either.

31) Do you believe in karma? No.

32) Are you single? Yes.

33) Do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize? Just apologize to me. And mean it. But also coffee and food helps.

34) Are you a good swimmer? No.

35) Coffee or Tea? Coffeeeeee.

36) Online shopping or shopping in person? In person, but I like doing some online shopping as well. I’m just too impatient and hate having to wait for it to arrive.

37) Would you rather be older or younger than your current age? Younger.

38) Cats or Dogs? Dogs.

39) Are you a competitive person? No.

40) Do you believe in aliens? I’m not sure where I stand, really.

41) Do you like dancing? Dancing for me is just head bobbing and maybe moving my arms a bit.

42) What kind of music to you listen to? I like variety.

43) What is your favorite cartoon character? I don’t have one.

44) Where are you from? California.

45) Eat at home or eat out? Get take out to eat at home. haha.

46) How much more social are you when you’re drunk? I would a lot more talkative when drunk.

47) What was the last thing you bought for yourself? Some makeup and food items.

48) Why do you think your followers follow you? They like surveys, I’m guessing.

49) How many hours do you sleep at night? Five, sometimes six.

50) What worries you most about the future? E v e r y t h i n g.

51) If you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends? Yikesss. We wouldn’t be.

52) Are you happy with yourself? No.

53) What do you wish you didn’t know? *shrug*

54) What big lesson could people learn from your life? Ha, I have no idea.

55) If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be? I’m watching this new show called, Big Little Lies, and it takes place in a beach town. All the characters live in gorgeous beach houses and gah that is goals.

56) What’s your favorite Website? Tumblr.

57) What’s the habit you’re proudest of breaking? I haven’t really broken any notable habits.

58) What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles? I haven’t gone anywhere outside of my city in quite awhile.

59) What’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or thrift store? I’ve never gone to a garage sale, and I haven’t really gone thrift store shopping. I’ve look around, but didn’t find anything really.

60) What do you order when you eat Chinese food? Chow mien, orange chicken, pot sticks, crab Rangoon, and egg rolls.

61) If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? Georgia or Virginia.

62) If you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be? English.

63) Favorite kind of chips? Spicy.

64) Favorite kind of sandwich? Either salami, turkey, bologna, or pastrami with provolone, mustard, and mayo. If I get a deli sandwich, I’ll add oil and vinegar.

65) Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus? I haven’t used either one in a long time.

66) Have you ever been stung by a bee? No.

67) What’s your favorite form of exercise? Ha. Me. Exercise. Good one.

68) Are you afraid of heights? Yes.

69) What’s the most memorable class you’ve ever taken? A lot of my psychology courses.

70) What’s your favorite breakfast? Breakfast burritos.

71) Do you like guacamole? Yesss.

72) Have you ever been in a physical fight? No.

73) What/who are you thinking about right now? Right at this very moment I’m thinking about getting a cup of coffee and something sweet to eat. It’s my normal after dinner routine.

74) Do you like cuddling? Yes.

75) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Yes.

76) Have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears? Yes.

77) Favorite city you’ve been to? A few in my state.

78) Would you break the law to save a family member? Yes.

79) Talk about an embarrassing moment? Nahhh.

80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in? Yes.

81) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? The one that made me a paraplegic, I’d say.

82) Favorite day of the week? I don’t have one.

83) Do you consider yourself sexually open minded? I have zero sexual experience, so I don’t know what I’d be comfortable with and what I wouldn’t be okay with.

84) How do you feel about porn? Not my thing.

85) Which living celebrity would you like to know? I’m sure you could guess. Coughalexanderskarsgardcough.

86) Who was your hottest ex? Joseph.

87) Do you want/have kids? I don’t know.

88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you? No.

89) Do you get easily distracted? Yes, sometimes.

90) Ass or titties? A nice firm butt on a guy is nice. ha.

91) What is your favorite word? I don’t know.

92) How do you feel about tattoos? They can be cool. It all depends.

93) Do you have any pets? No.

94) How tall are you? I would have been about 5′7.

95) How old are you? Twenty-seven.

96) 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot? My hair. That’s really it.

97) Is there anything you’re really passionate about? No. :/

98) Do you have trust issues? I just have a hard time opening up and expressing myself to others.

99) Do you believe in love at first sight? No.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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myangstybullshit2018 · 4 years

Text

Fort Fartblossoms

Absinthe woke me with a knock on the floor. I rolled over and stuck my head out seeing that everyone had settled in for the night. Isabelle and I grabbed our gear and headed out. So this is a touchy point at the moment. Isabelle is mine, Micah’s... and If Kitty is the original, then I came from her. Anything not made by Kitty is a chibi, and Isabelle was much more detailed and... big to be a chibi. At her full size, she would be a 6-foot rabbit woman, dressed in cyber gear battle armor... she is part of the bunny brigade. Wow... Back story.

So awhile back, maybe a year, probably 9 months, Kitty got a one-eyed bunny from the thrift store. Her name is Margot and she is kind of badass. She has an eye patch because she had to sell her eye to a fairy to save her child and became the general of this army to go against the fairies... so anyway Margot moved in and this little group started to form. Margot started teaching Isabelle how to fight and then BunBun, then people who weren't bunny's started joining. Anyway this army was formed that was to protect the city, the castle, everything.

So kitty wanted me to create the bunny brigade in honey select and when we were piecing things together there were some new parts in the game that I didn't realize had downloaded. They were mech pieces and there were sets and one of the sets looks like a bunny. So I made these bunny mech suits for each member of the bunny brigade so now we all have a very clear idea of what they look like if human... ok getting off track. Point is I thought Isabelle should be able to come with us on our trips and Kitty thought that she should have stayed back there is some kind of "bullshit" that happened when they were on a mission together earlier IDK, they won't tell me exactly what happened. Point is I brought her without asking and when she's not a stuffie she's kinda... garish in the areas we were traveling so she would pretty much have to be a stuffie the whole time unless there was a fight so it was fair to bring her and blah blah ... I think she is just mad because I made something that came from her world more interesting... the point is there was an argument but we settled on each one would get to come out for a little bit but they would stay small most of the time.

I pulled the map out and spread in on the table. With very little discussion we had decided on going to the caves in the hope of finding a mine cart.

I thought there had to be another way to go to the mountains than to follow the same old path we take for everything. We were getting our gear together and I started looking around. It amazes me how much I can miss because as I stepped out the door of Micah's treehouse I looked behind me to see a giant tree shooting up to the sky and the roots were the more solid parts of the ground like under Boomhut. That was when I realized there was a portion of the area surrounding the treehouses I hadn't really explored.

Normally when you step out of my door it is a slightly convoluted straight shot to stonewall which is the main road for started out, everything from my treehouse to stonewall on the left side is Atminta, the memory holes. some of these are mind-boggling large, like a sublime moment of panic-and-awe large and some are the size of a rabbit hole, but the whole area is full of them. But from my treehouse back to the left had not been explored. So we got to use the climbing spats that Kitty stole from me a couple of months ago...

All of a sudden i realized that The House where the council is, in the root system of the giant tree, so there is this whole like the universe is connected moment cliche stoner moment and everything is like the bigger view I guess, like with the stars and vastness of space and stuff. Anyway, I realize that the roots are also making up a good portion of the land in the area which answered a ton of questions we had. so it was like emotionally and psychologically productive for us.

She finally made it down after her hippie moment, I did not get to experience that, and we were in this area that rose up between the giatnts roots that seemed more like mountains in certain areas. It was very lush and green, hilly, it was very peaceful. Looking around we also realize this was the view from the kitchen WIndow of the House. A creek was off to one side and for a long while we walked in silence enjjoying the beauty and the peacefulness of the place. There was a drop off ahead. She seemed to have seen it as well asn was cautiously approaching. From my backpack I hear "That's a first" and I ask Isabelle what she means. I get the usual harumph and then silence We start to follow behind and Kitty disappears. I bolt for the edge and breathe, The drop off isn't drastic, but it is far enough you could get a broken ankle. So I got irritated with her, tht's when I heard isabelle laughing "oh it's funny when it's someone else" I jump down with kitty and I sit the backpack down. I told isabelle to get out now and tell us what is going on. Kitty walks up and stops me.

That was why I didn't think she should be there, I knew she was mad at me and probably didn't want to be around me but I didn't know how to say that and just ignored it.... like I do. 👉👈

Then We hear out of the bag "I am sick of her bullshit" and we both sit back because she's gonna unleash. She jumps up to her full height, gear all neon and stuff and just lays into kitty for being dangerous and taking chances and running into things blind

I don't do plans, plans hate me, you guys know this. It's not new. I have to go with my gut and my gut saidit would be fine. *big ass sigh* ok fine. When we went on the mission I knew I wasn't gonna get hurt, I knew we weren't going to get hurt. It was a group of monsters who needed jobs and it was easy work gaurding a building but there wasn't any real loyalty or anything yet. It was fine. So I kinda just went.... not a lit of stealth or anything, and just kinda found what I was there for pretty easily. I mean in the end it was mine anyway.

What does that have to do with anything? They had Spot, they could have hurt hm

No they couldn't, he's fine. He can get out of anything. Listen, I'm sorry I don't really do things your way, but I enjoyed working with you. You are great support. I will try to be more careful.

Isabelle went back in the bag without saying anything else. I guess she used her one time to come up and yell at you.

Yeah, I guess so. Welp, lets keep going.

Turning around I saw the cutest thing I had ever seen. A group of otters, all walking on their haind legs and wearing very propoer clothes were watching us. ALl around there was small white cattages dotting the landscape, quaint gardens with bamoo fenscing flowers filling every available space. It was one oft he ebst places I had ever found. It as beautiful and peaceful and adorable. The otter people were very nice, we could stay in a cottage if we wanted, there was food and drink. The only worry was the edge of the town ran into Atminta, so with memory holes potentially close you had to be careful not to get too close to that side.

We stayed there for awhile, playing, eating fruit, walking around. we had some little cakes and tea, there wer tea parties everywhere, and everyone was dressed in these cute little suits. I thought about how funny it would be to see Isabelle in this setting. Then got sad cause she was mad at me. Then went back to being ok.

So it turned out that we didnt really cut any time off our trip, or get any closer to the mountains, we just avoided stonewall, which I know was fine with kitty. We had to exit through Atminta.The Otters gave us food for the road and a thermos of tea.

Since I was the most likely to be affected by the memory holes Micah decided to carry me on his back, and I would carry both backpacks and he ran. That area is really large so it took awhile but when we finally rounded the corner and coule see the ruins and the city and the intersection he jusy collapsed. I asked Spunky if he would come help us and he agreed. I laid my pack down and sat beside micah. Spunky came out his normal size at first then started stretching slowly chnging size. I heckled him, come on old man, what's wrong your bones ache? He just ignored me at first, at one point I started yelling different yoga poses at him. He started getting smaller again. What are you doing

I do not have to do this.

I was on a roll for pissing people off today. I told him I was sorry and we climbed on. He ran us from the dirt mountain up past the ruins, up the middle road int he five points interesction, past ma's house and the water park and straight to the mountain caves. He turnd back to me and I was certain he was gonna yell at me too then he smiled and laughed at me for being such a pansy and caring about stuff.

The next part was long and boring and exhuasting. We had to climb this carved satircase into the side of the mountain and it was long and basically vertical. It was worth it though. We did not find a mine cart but we did find something awesome. The inside of the mounatin was a infinitely clear lake. You could see to the bottom, and it looked as if you could reach in and touch it, but the bottom was so deep we couldn't reach it. On the car side of the cave sat a old rusty boat that was half buried in the side of the mountain. I dove in to swim over and Everyone screams at me.

You don't know if it's poinsoned, or hot, or cold, or anything, you just jumped in!

Yeah *shrug* it's fine I make it to the boat and it is solidly stuck I call everyone else to come over. Spunky is already climbing aboard. Kid you got to try a little harder than that.

Why the hell do I have to? I then got a lecture from spunky about the nature of freindship and people caring about each other and stuff. It took awhile but eventually everyone calmed down. The boat was really cool and had some different rooms, lots of thigns to fiddle with, and plenty of room. What is we made this our fort, like you and me our fort. We could fix it up and name it.

Lets name it first

We spent the next hour yelling random words at each other until we settled on Fort Fart Blossom and the SS Fart Blossom. We had a little 80's make over montage, that was fun. Then it just looked really nice and we had a fort.

THen I decided I wanted to go somewhere else for a bit, they asked why, and I said to be able to come back to our fort later. It made sense to me. But when I got up I realize we had never made a dry way into and out of the boat. So this led to a super interesting conversation that everyone got in on including spot who had been silent this whole time. Some said tentacle monster tthat responds to your voice, someone said rocks that rise from the water, someone else suggestedthe invisible bridge, a lot of suggestions were made but we ended up just going with a zipline and a swinging rope. Nothing too complicated.

I feel like we sang at some point

Also I feel like there was something in the lake. Merman maybe, but not sure.

But this is where it goes blac other than the "female" presence. I remember saying we wer going to leave the boat and setting up the ropes but nothing else.

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