#the top of the page for this just says

[hinamie]

to moving forward

[ryniadora]

WIP Wednesday

More BSD drivel under the cut. I was overtaken by the spirit of misery and wrote angst about a potential bad ending for Gwyn after the events of chapter 117 so BSD MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD.

BAD END

バッドエンド

Chuuya came up the stairs two at a time, clutching his hat to his head as if that would stop the lashing rain from reaching him. The sun was attempting to rise over the horizon, but was lost in the swirling maelstrom that hung overhead.

His eyes scanned the viewing platform, catching easily on the seated figure beside the railing - almost as if indifferent to the pouring rain, the woman was seated neatly on the sodden ground with her knees drawn up to her chest, arms wrapped tightly around them. Her head, resting atop her folded arms, was turned firmly towards the distant horizon, a direction Chuuya was well aware led to the faraway airport.

“Gwyn.” Chuuya whispered, stepping hesitantly towards the silent redhead. It was as though she was a statue, not even reacting to his approach, and he wondered briefly if she had fallen asleep like that during the course of her overnight vigil. Once again his chest tightened at the thought that he would need to be the one breaking terrible news to his best friend. It didn’t feel fair, somehow, but at least he knew that she was in safe hands if he was doing it. A shudder ran through him as he imagined what emotional explosion Dazai dropping the news onto Gwyn’s head would do.

The Port Mafia executive finally reached the side of the still unmoving princess of the Armed Detective Agency. Of course at this moment titles and affiliations didn’t matter - the two people on the otherwise deserted platform were just human. Humans whose hearts were so damaged from years of trauma that there was little hope of repair. Chuuya dropped to a crouch beside Gwyn, looking her over carefully. The young woman did not respond to his presence, her head not moving from its position leant heavily on her knees, eyes trained on the distant skyline. She was like a drowned rat, hair plastered to her face and clothes completely soaked through, her face shining with the rainwater. Her eyes were completely devoid of their usual light, a dull grey that perfectly matched the oppressive clouds above, almost as though the world was reflecting her sorrow so that she didn’t have to feel it. Horror filled the man as he realised that her face had settled into one he hadn’t seen on her for years, that doll-like, blank expression that had personified the Port Mafia assassin Lady. The expression Gwyn wore when she did not dare to free the raging tide of her emotions.

“Gwyn.” Chuuya whispered her name again as he reached out a hand, gently laying it over her limp one. Gwyn’s skin was icy cold under his fingers, like a corpse rather than a living human, which was alarming in itself as she was one of those people who always seemed to run hot - she always joked it was the reason for her fiery temper.

A second repeat of her name prompted a shuddering breath from the woman, though she didn’t turn her head to look at him.

“Chuuya.” she replied simply, the emptiness in her voice making Chuuya’s heart ache all over again. He could have accepted hearing the pain in her voice had it been there, but this flat tone, devoid of any emotion, was dangerous. It meant that Gwyn had completely given up hope, the one thing that she never did. His mind wandered back to the last time they had a heart-to-heart, Gwyn weeping over her love for an unnamed man. Not that it had been difficult to figure out that it was Kunikida, Gwyn was like an open book to people who knew her well. Her voice had wavered then, full of sorrow and anger driven by that tiny spark of hope that she could find happiness and love someday. And now it was clear that whatever she witnessed at the airport before she was whisked unwillingly from the jaws of death had quenched that flame utterly.

“Come on, Gwyn.” he murmured, placing his other hand on her head. She still didn’t move. “You can’t stay out here forever.”

Chuuya knew that the unspoken words hidden within that single sentence would serve as a reminder that she had once told him that staying still wasn’t an option and moving forward was the only thing he could do. Those words finally made her stir, and she heaved a sigh of resignation as she finally turned her head to look at him. He knew that she was fully aware of her circumstances, though she had no way of knowing just how little of the Agency she had come to consider family actually remained. That lovely little bit of news was his unsavoury job to deliver. Chuuya mentally cursed that bastard Dazai for making him do this, for dodging the responsibility the way he always did.

“Bring the princess home for me?” Dazai had said, his flippant tone an obvious mask for the pain Chuuya knew he would be feeling too. 

“I know.” Gwyn said simply as she allowed Chuuya to drag her to her feet, where he swung the spare jacket he had been given over her, covering her up as best he could for what little good it would do after an entire night sat in the rain. Despite her unnerving stillness, there was an almost imperceptible shaking in her shoulders and arms that he knew better than to comment on. Even without Lancelot, an emotional explosion from Gwyn had dangerous consequences.

“How many?” she asked as she turned back to her contemplation of the distant sky, where the sun was trying its hardest to stain the clouds red. Knowing what she meant, Chuuya’s brow furrowed. He could see in the tightening of her jaw that she was mentally preparing for the worst, but he didn’t think she’d ever really be ready to hear the words. Who could be ready to hear that an unspecified number of their loved ones had died in such a horrific way? Gwyn had seen for herself what death at the hands of the divine being looked like, had taken a wound from that very sword herself; she clearly hadn’t even changed her clothes, as her whole right side was stained red with blood.

“Five left.” he answered after a long pause to steady his nerve, and despite himself he was actually glad to see that this elicited a reaction, Gwyn’s eyes turning misty before overflowing in a single moment, her head dropping into her hands. Five out of nine was barely better than half. Knowing she would be desperate to have the names, Chuuya continued. “Dazai, the doctor, the weretiger, Kyouka and the little blonde kid.”

“Oh.” Gwyn’s face was hidden still by her hands, but the shaking in her shoulders intensified. “At least-” the sentence cut off before she could finish it, replaced by a howl of grief that sounded more beast than human.

Chuuya silently took the princess into his arms as she continued to scream, hoarse wailing sounds that defied description. Her fingers clutched at the fabric of his shirt so tightly he could see her knuckles turn white, the true horror of her loss falling so heavily onto her shoulders that she seemed to stagger beneath it, her head lowered.

After a period of time that felt like an eternity, Gwyn straightened up, her eyes locking onto Chuuya’s with a blank stare. It was slightly unnerving, the usual light of her stormy grey eyes was completely gone, leaving only two empty voids in her pale face.

“I have to go to them.” she said, and once again the emotion was gone from her voice. Chuuya knew that this wasn’t even close to the end of her grief, but she would bottle it up until the next explosion brought it forth once again.

“Are you sure? Maybe you should head home and get some rest first.” he said with a frown, but Gwyn shook her head.

“I have a job to do, Chuuya. The worst has happened and I made a plan for it.”

“What sort of plan?”

“Now that anyone who should be leading the Agency is gone, someone has to step up to pull everyone together. I promised that I would keep everyone safe, so that is what I will do.” her face took on an almost sinister look, eyes narrowed with a dangerous gleam. “I will fix this.”

“I don’t like the sound of whatever you’re planning, Gwyn.”

“Don’t worry. I have no intention of getting in Mori’s way if he doesn’t mess with the plan.”

“What is the plan?”

“I have to find the one thing that will bring them back.”

“Bring them back?” Chuuya spluttered, staring at his friend in horror. “There can’t be something that powerful, unless …” he trailed into silence, his eyes wide. “You don’t mean that Book everyone keeps talking about?!”

Gwyn nodded grimly. “It’s the only way.”

[andromeda-after-dark]

Honestly I’ve never come across a character people want pregnant more than batman which is kinda funny to me, especially in the context of superbat, like you’d think they’d take advantage to the cop out of alien biology to make Clark the one to be the carrier but nope, this 6ft 3 brick shithouse of a fully human man is too mother coded, he grew a working uterus out of spite

[rad-roche]

scornfully rolling my eyes and declaring myself above 'they did the thing in movie adaptation' until they do it to the cartoon hedgehog and i'm sobbing and wailing in the theatre and yelling yeehaw and clicking my boots and scromiting and throwing other people's children over my shoulder and i'm barred for life

[heroesriseandfall]

Teen Titans/Outsiders Secret Files (2003) — Roy leaving voicemails for Dick after Donna Troy’s death

Identity Crisis (2004) #7 — Dick leaving voicemails for Tim after Jack Drake’s death

[ricky-mortis]

We’ve heard of werewolf Curt- but what about vampire Owen?

[huidol]

happy valentines 👍 day

[poliffwoog]

school scribblies: goober edition

[sunscreenstudies]

the only regret i have about journalling is not starting it sooner >_<

[bonebabbles]

Scenes like this keep cropping up and I cannot help but roll my eyes all the way back into my skull

Don't worry guys, having NEW children fixed him. This famously teaches a violent man to stop hitting kids and makes him no longer feel the need to construct nightmarish scenarios so he can humiliate and embarrass those he has power over. Men whose wives produce lots of babies for them are Very fulfilled and Understand how strong bonds are supposed to be

"Instead of advising him he'd been defensive" is a REALLY INTERESTING way to phrase "got so offended at the suggestion to stop murdering women for their land that he shoved his son's face in a festering wound and told him to leave him to get eaten by maggots."

I wonder how they'd spell something like, "walked through a patch of thorns so that his son would be in physical pain and then belittled him for finding an alternate route because he wanted him to suffer" and "lied directly to his face about why he abandoned him when he realized the child could be useful"

[goblin-enjoyer]

a comic based of a very good tumblr post I saw.

link under cut

[widevibratobitch]

when i say i am obsessed with him

[monstrousdaughter]

i do genuinely love it when i watch a movie and go "well it was alright" and then go to letterboxd to log/review it and there are a bunch of really intelligent and thoughtful reviews that make me see things about that movie that i hadn't considered before it makes me so happy

[spotsupstuff]

I have a question about sparrows

did she ever make any connections during the times she was studying to be an iterator technician or was she kinda like, that one dude in college nobody talked to?

hmm... well!

she didn't have any luck with her "peers", that's for sure. the first two years were hell. she could've been only glad when she became that one dude nobody talked to

the teachers aren't there to make connections with students, of course, but they weren't much help either

the only people she really connected with was the person who taught her violin, the bartender of a place she came to often to Cope and compared to everything else Boreas' annoying aggravating presence eventually became a comfort. if the overseers are watching, nobody will start too big a ruckus

[savage-rhi]

Fuschia/Magenta?

[bookwyrminspiration]

hey did Fitz take home Ms Stinkbottom after the search of Candleshade in Lodestar or am I misremembering for maximum angst?

Alas, you are misremembering. Fitz is the one who had hold of the letter Gisela left for Keefe, but they actually didn't find Mrs. Stinkbottom then--and they didn't take her when they followed the starstone Marella gave them later and saw Mrs. Stinkbottom in Cassius's bed

Keefe himself went back for her in Nightfall. He went back to get something green to wear from Candleshade and grabbed her while he was there (p. 110-111) :)