#the times where ive seemed fine before its been the ‘im gonna ignore it’ instead of ‘im gonna meet this head on and get to know it’

[another-corpo-rat]

WiP Whenever

tagged by @streetkid-named-desire tyy darling <3 you have no idea how much im resisting tagging you back to keep you in this hell of round-robin tagging (with no pressure!) @theviridianbunny, @pozerjacket, @noxbunni, @jax-acer

I have several things going in rotation rn - gonna share lil snippets of each cos they're not likely to see the light of day anytime soon.

i. untitled River/V potentially gonna be used for a kiss prompt sitting in my ask box, but idk if its going that way so it might become its own thing

He’s nervous. It’s an odd thing to see; even throughout the hunt for Randy V would never have pinned the word to him. Determined and restless, yes, but nervous? No. It’s too flimsy for a man like River Ward and yet—

He’s nervous. Doing an excellent job of hiding it right enough, with his soft laughs and gentle smiles as she sits with Monique on her knee, listening to his niece recount her day of thrilling adventure in their trailer park. But there’s an odd look to his eye, a cycle to his thoughts; that first glint always hopeful before its shortly taken over by uncertainty that makes that easy smile waver

ii. Snake and Dove; Victoria & Michiko Victoria reconsidering all she knows on the young heir

Naïve and foolish, Victoria had decided mere moments within their official introduction decades ago; when the youngest Arasaka was still soft and warm with nary a shard of chrome on her body, looking at her with what she read as pity—

It had vanished promptly at what was admittedly too sharp of a voice. A delicate jaw worked and then clamped tight against any comments about the cybernetic arms she adorned now. A tight nod, a brief word.

She had never been within the girl’s space again after that, and couldn’t bring herself to mourn the loss of opportunity. There had been more important things at the time, too many missions to keep on top of, too many threats, terrorists, a nuke – she had left Night City’s radiated soil where the princess stayed.

iii. Peg Smasher gets pegged. That's it, that's the summary god this has been a wip for so long

It’s a shame the Dragoon doesn’t have the…specifications for this endeavour. She’d much prefer that sight, but still the naked planes of his wide back and the pull of synthetic muscle under faux-flesh is worth admiring.

Victoria hums as she plants a steadying hand on his ass, her thumb working in idle circles against the tender skin. The thin, shallow scrapes left by her claws blooming healthy pink where it rises in imitation of flesh. Her other ventures across the muscled planes, ghosting along scars added in a lab – heaven forbid he seemed untouched by the world’s violence, even in a body not intended to meet it. It’s his newest one, but like all the others its marred; burns, bullets, and lacerations adorn the skin. Another lie upon the innate deception of a gemini.

She knows them well, their placement and patterns familiar and horribly uninteresting for it. She should applaud him, for making something about himself so dourly boring, but her attention is elsewhere. She eyes the tension to his shoulder blades, the too-deep and unnecessary breaths he tries to quiet through the teeth of a vice-locked jaw. His fingers flex, knuckles whitening as she moves a hand between reddened cheeks.

A pause. He audibly catches a breath and holds it, his shoulders rising with the motion – how terribly human – and releases it when her hand returns to his rump instead.

iv. Tend A self-indulgent warhammer wip but im inflicting it upon thee

He tries not to think of that little boy often. The gangly gaunt frame of skin and bone, the itch of mite-ridden rags that hung poorly on a body that grew too large too quick, an ever present ache in his neck and limbs as he tucked himself to fit a world content to ignore him. The boy may share his name but he is a stranger in all but memory, so long buried and yet…

Dirae’s thumb brushes across the fine hair of his brow, her own furrowed as she watches the layers of skin knit together. There won’t be a trace of the injury in a minute. She knows that but still the veneer of fascination is thin as concern glimmers in her eyes, in the twist of painted lips, and he knows the boy in those tunnels would’ve clung to her. Desperate and clever enough to know she had what he wanted, needed, even if he could not put a word to it precisely.

And he is too merciful to deny the boy her affections. Too selfish to say ‘enough’ as her eyes seek his and her hands, soft and unmarred, cradle his face, fingers curling against the line of his jaw. Even with him seated and leaning down to meet her she still has to rock up onto the balls of her feet to close the space between them. Her body presses tight to his, warm and sweet-scented, more enticing than the steaming bath drawn in the other room.

“Horus—”

“I’m alright, heart.” Her eyes flick to the cut, already healed judging from the familiar itch. He strokes a hand up the curve of her waist and lets his lips pull into an easy smile. “In truth the blow to my pride is much worse. Slower to heal, you see.”

[lordpopuko]

i keep trying to convince myself that its okay im down for the time being - that i cant force myself out of this and that i just have to get through it alive. and it is okay. forced happiness is worse than letting you feel what you need to. as long as i dont give up and know this is a temporary rest, ill be fine.

i dont wanna beat myself up over this and sometimes being awake and simply getting out of my bed once, is enough. its not gonna stay this way forever, i cant force it to go away and i cant be strong every second of my life. theres nothing wrong with giving up/taking a break, as long as you acknowledge that you have to get up again when youve rested. im not trying to romanticize the situation. i dont think its alright to actively let it ruin you and decide not to do anything, but sometimes its out of your hands and you have to let the feelings through - just because i cant do all of my recovery and self-care steps these days, does not mean i cant ever do it again.

recovery is a fight. a goddamn tough fight that keeps exhausting me and its not just flowers and sun - sometimes its letting myself feel what i feel, sometimes its biting a sour apple and sometimes its letting myself rest. i cant fight everyday if i dont have energy - as long as i believe i can stand again, ill get through this. i know a lot of people think ive given up or dont want to fight my mental illness but i havent. ill come back from this with scars, probably but also stronger and better. letting myself feel my emotions - as depressive or negative as they may be - is better than forcing them away or running away from them.

[28dayslater]

okay so basically my question is, is uni as fun as it looks?

i'm 23 and never went, i couldn't even finish college bc of mental health and then i never knew what i wanted in life so thought it didn't matter that i didn't go right away and i kept meaning to like figure it out but then i fell into a job i really like and have been here for a few years now and am content enough. no one in my family went to uni so it was never expected of me so when i didn't go there were no consequences y'know.

but social media is full of people in/who just graduated uni and it looks so fun that i feel like i've missed out. people posting videos in their new accomodation and with their flatmates and becoming best friends and staying up all night, going out doing random things and just having fun and being young with no expectations, and i feel like i've never experienced anything in my life.

like i did some of it, i moved out but there's no parties, no events or societies or getting off with strangers. and i hate to admit it but i still only have a single friend, not the friend group i always wanted. i've been on nights out a few times but it's always different because i know i have to go to work tomorrow, it's never the carefree "i don't know where i'll wake up and that's fine just living in the moment" type of experience. everything is different as an adult i guess. i'm tired by 8pm and going out until 10 is late for me.

and like i know myself i know i would not do well in uni due to my mental health and i would have dropped out or failed, and honestly i do not want to study i do not do well in education. i like finishing work and not having to worry about homework or whatever, but i really wish i could have experienced the social side of uni. i don't know if i'd have even enjoyed it, and it might have gotten old real quick, but i wish i could have at least tried it. and especially when everyone i work with met their partners and friends at uni, and i'm here doing everything i want to do just on my own because my singular friend doesn't share most of my interests.

but i also know people often exaggerate things on social media, and that lots of people don't share their experiences so i'm not sure whether uni is as fun as it always seems or whether it's just select people only sharing their few good experiences. idk i'm just kind of feeling like my entire life has just passed me by or something idk.

sorry for the dump omg i did not mean to say all that i was just gonna ask the question but lost the plot a bit 😭

i think the thing with uni is that like most things it is what you make of it. its a wonderful opportunity to hang out with people your own age, party and ignore your lectures and make stupid decisions bc youre on your own for the first time, and theres no other situation where youre gonna be so free to do what you want, but even when youre there that opportunitys only there if you take it. i went uni for three years, spent half of it violently depressed and not getting out of bed or doing any work, fucked up my actual degree and left with precisely one friend that im still in contact with. so even if youre in the position to be having the time of your life its very easy to waste it and end up having had no fun at all.

it sounds like you wouldnt have enjoyed the actual studying and what you're envious of is purely the social side. and tbf the social part of it does get old quickly, i spent my entire third year living with my best friend just watching crap tv every night instead of ever leaving the house or seeing anyone else. but also, theres no reason you cant create that social life for yourself! all the parties and that i went to at uni were just club nights in town or occasionally at the student union, you dont have to be invited or know anyone before you go.

and as miserable as it is to do and as trite as it sounds, you can make friends even when you're not forced together by school or uni or student accomodation. coworkers, friends of friends, roommates, online mutuals who don't live hundreds of miles away, you can ask those people to hang out and see where you can get from there. and as much as it sickens me to say bc i sound like my mum, theres always societies and events and stuff you can join if you go looking. most my adult friendships have only stayed in my life bc ive put effort into them and made a point of seeing those people and actively making plans. fucking sucks shit but thats the nature of being an adult, when youre not forced together by circumstance every day you have to cling to every friendship youve got and dig your claws in hard

but i hope you do okay! and i think you will

[sportsarenotoxygen]

GOM valentine’s HCs

some late gom+kuroko+momoi x reader (separately) valentine’s hcs that have probably been done to death before but i still wanted to write some so here! please enjoy!

akashi

akashi definitely shows how happy and grateful he is when he gets your chocolates. so much that he’s almost acting strange if you didn’t know him so well

(because he remembers all those days his mother tried to give his father love and never received any acknowledgement in return. he is not repeating that with you)

he’s super freaking happy and smothers you with kisses and cuddles

then he starts giving back

really giving back like he stays with you the whole day, is a complete gentleman (but more than usual because let’s be real he always is), more affectionate, really does not let you lift a finger

you: sei you know it’s okay, i can carry one bag

akashi: nonsense, it’s my thanks for those chocolates you made. which i absolutely loved by the way

you: you...you said that when you paid for lunch. and when you drove us to the park. and--

akashi: it’s my thanks. for the chocolates i loved. did i mention they were delicious--

you, blushing: ohmygod okay okay fine

midorima

if it’s your unlucky day, midorima’s gonna be watching your back and making this day as good as it could get because yes he believes in oha asa but he will not allow bad luck to ruin your day because he knows you’ve been working so hard to make this day good for the both of you

if it’s his unlucky day, he’s gonna be on edge maybe even entertaining thoughts of whether he should be near you so you’ll have to reassure him that all will be fine

you, over the phone: but i have to give you my gifts!!!!!

midorima: your chances of having a good day will be drastically lowered if i’m with you, so i’ll pick them up tomorrow, nanodayo

you: shintaro! dont! you! dare! think! you! could! ruin! my! day! you make my day so you better!!!! 

midorima: i’m sorry y/n, but i don’t want to risk it

you: well i guess i’ll just wait at the cafe by myself...with all these couples around me...

midorima, guilty: fine. but only for an hour

he’s got your lucky item ready and his own when he gets there

you don’t make a letter for him though, you merely just give a speech about every thing you love about him from his belief in oha asa, to the way he looks out for you, to his love for basketball, his manner of speech and everything else (yes right in that cafe. the elderly couple in the next table over are giving you such fond looks)

by the end of it, he’s a blushing mess and that’s what your goal was all along let’s be honest

aomine

he pretends to think valentine’s a really tacky and stupid day and how ‘theres no point giving anything on this particular day its just stupid’

so much so that you hesitate when giving your chocolates 

you hesitate so much so that he notices and now that he notices he feels slightly bad and tries to drop some hints 

you, reluctantly: it’s really...all in your face huh 

aomine, swearing at himself: it’s not too bad

but when you go the whole day without giving him anything he starts getting worried

aomine, thinking: crap did you think i meant all that

of course, if you actually got him nothing that’s fine too but he doesn’t want the reason you got him nothing was because he thinks it’s stupid

especially when he sees how you’re pointedly trying to ignore every other couple

so, just as you two are about to part ways, he goes

‘look, you know i didnt mean any of that stupid shit. i dont mind valentines chocolates or anything i was just being stupid’

he’s scared to look at you but when he does

youre giving him this shit-eating grin

you, smug: so you finally admit it huh

aomine: what the hell y/n

you reveal that you just wanted him to say all that and now that he has, you’ve won!

he’s half red because of frustration and half because of embarrassment but well

that’s one of the reasons he loves you ofc

kise, murasakibara, kuroko, momoi under the cut!

kise

patiently waits for his chocolates

patiently

but he has to wait hourrrrssss because he has a photoshoot that day which sucks because he’d wanted to stay over so he wouldn’t get caught with fans going over

and inevitably he does get caught by a bunch of fans and gets given loads of chocolates from them

but of course he’s waiting for yours

so he can’t wait until he meets up at your house and you greet him with a bright smile and his is equally as bright

he’s really not subtle at all

kise: hey hey y/n-cchi did you make me some chocolates?????? im really craving chocolates today!!!!!! chocolates you made!!!!! because i love you!!!!! (he had been too excited to realise mayyybe bringing over the chocolates his fans gave him would give the wrong impression so he hastily shoved them all under his coat at the last minute this boy)

you: you can just say you want some you know...i know its valentines 

when you give it to him he’s over the moon. he’s...very dramatic when he tastes them. like a lot

kise: THESE ARE SO GOOD Y/N-CCHI THE BEST CHOCOLATES IVE EATEN IN MY LIFE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I LOVE YOU--

you, slightly worried: thanks. i think. you know if they’re bad you can just say so--

kise: NO THEY’RE GOOD I SWEAR I JUST

he’s crying tears of joy this silly boy

murasakibara

don’t go outside with this boy during valentine’s 

he will see all those chocolates and sweets and will need them

goodbye money 

you have to promise to buy them all when the clearance sales come out but you and murasakibara enjoy a day-in together maybe baking some sweets yourself because you know that he does actually like to bake despite how ‘lazy and unreluctant’ he seems

he unintentionally does the move where he kisses you and says ‘oh there was something on your face’ because there was genuinely something on your face and he does not realise what a cliche cheesy romance film move that is

you already have some sweets ready so he munches on them whilst you wait for the others to finish

and surprisingly, murasakibara gives you half of what you both made. its special because he usually just gives like...a quarter which is fair because your appetites are nowhere near the same let’s be honest

he does it because he vaguely recalls muro-chin saying something about how “valentine’s day is a special day for y/n-san” and slightly misinterprets it 

it’s a touching gesture coming from him of course

you gotta cherish it because once you two go buy those leftover sweets the next day...

kuroko

you know him well enough by now that you understand that despite how small his smile is, he’s smiling wide inside when you give him the vanilla milkshake you made and maji burger coupons you made/got

he asks for the recipe to make and even though you’re more than willing to tell it to him, he insists that you need to show it to him

you, explaining: so then you just add the rest of the--

kuroko: i apologise, i do not understand, y/n-san. can you please show it to me instead?

you: are you sure? i’m sure you can do it fine!!! here, i’ll write it down!!

kuroko: no, please. i am not confident in my ability. i will be more confident with you by my side 

you blush at his words because they are so genuinely truthful but also cheesy af

so, kinda like murasakibara, you guys make some vanilla milkshakes together

kuroko smiles a heck of a lot but it’s always when you’re back is turned whether it’s getting the ingredients from the cupboard or turning the blender on so you miSS A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL SMILES FROM THIS BOY 

but in the end you two make more than enough for the both of you so you have to store some for later

it only makes the memories last all the more

momoi

well its canon that shes not...great at cooking and that goes for baking 

and contrary to popular belief, she is aware of that fact (she just tries realllllly hard to deny it because her food tastes fine!!! maybe burnt or salty af but fine!!!)

so she tries this time

employing kagami to help her through saying dai-chan will do a one-on-one with him (its not true but. but she will get the redhaired boy to help her make these chocolates the best damn thing you’ve ever tasted or else)

its hard work (kagami thinks he’s worked harder than any basketball game ever)

but the work pays off and the chocolates taste..................good!!!!

momoi is sooooooo excited to give them to you (because of course she is she’s a romantic)

you on the other hand are searching on google for “how to eat food you don’t like” “how to not gag” “how to lie”

because you love love love momoi and do not want to hurt her feelings but h o w will you eat what she makes

so you get such a huge surprise when you anxiously bite into the chocolate and it’s.......

amazing 

and maybe it’s just your love for momoi making you really biased but damn it’s so good!!

momoi, worriedly because you haven’t really moved for a few minutes: is it good????

you: ...no--

momoi, panicking: *thinking* nononono but but kagami said it was good did he lie i am going to kill him ohmygodohmygod

you: it’s the best chocolates i’ve ever eaten

[mochismilesbrighterthansun]

Poisoned

Chapter 2

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x reader

Warnings: This story in general deals with dark themes but more into the story. Smut. Choking, dark smut. Degrading names, rough dirty smut. 

Word Count: 4,499

Genre: Smut, Angst

Summary: You always knew what you wanted, you had it all planned out. But on a vacation to visit your parents you met the new tattoo artist in town and you couldn’t stay away from him.

A/N: This story will deal with darker themes. I suck I’ve been meaning to update but I hadn’t had the time. I promise not to wait so long to update again.

You couldn’t sleep after that, your mind kept revolving around one little fact. You basically agreed to sleep with the guy and he flat out rejected you. How were you supposed to face him in the morning? You hugged the covers to your chest thought about leaving.

So you waited until you heard no sounds, then you got up and walked past a sleeping Tae. You went downstairs and exited making sure to semi lock the door before leaving. It was almost dawn and it was freezing. By the time you made it to Jungkook’s the sun was already up.

It wasn’t until you knocked and a disheveled Jungkook answered the door that you realized he didn’t sleep looking for you.

“Where the fuck were you?!” He asked frantically looking you over.

“I’m sorry there was a storm and I was hiding out in one of the shops downtown.” you explained not completely lying.

“Whose clothes are those?” Jungkook eyed you suspiciously.

“It’s just some sweats Jungkook. Sorry I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Not just me, your parents have been calling me non stop. They said you ran away and they assumed you’d be here. I mean same I thought the same you know?, courtesy and all.”

He eyed you suspiciously. He knew you were hiding something but didn’t want to push you too much.

“I have my clothes. Can we just dry them?” you began moving inside his home.

This you were familiar with. His home, his parents gone already running the super stores in town. Your head kept going back to Tae and you couldn’t help the humiliation that overflowed within you. But you would make it a point to avoid him at all costs. And it wasn’t like it would be that hard I mean you barely saw the guy.

That day you spent it with Jungkook hiding from everyone in his bedroom watching movies all day. The day was pretty gloomy outside either way. You decided to go back home the next day, but you asked Jungkook for a ride instead.

“Are you ever gonna tell me what really happened or is that to remain a mystery?” he asked while driving.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” you replied looking out the window.

“Whatever you say. Just remember I am your best friend and I do think I know you pretty well.” he probed before ignoring you completely.

Your parents decided to ignore you throughout the day. Even during dinner silence prevailed, while you looked between both of them you realized you were at your breaking point. This was pointless. They would never let it go, or you for that matter.

So on the fourth day of their silent treatment you decided to start packing. You stared at your suitcase for what seemed like hours before you placed it on your bed and began slowly packing your clothes.

“Is this a joke?” Jungkook’s angry voice filtered through the silence. His voice rose even more after you stayed silent and continued shoving clothing into the suitcase. “Y/N, Is this a fucking joke?” he pulled on your wrists to face you and realized you were crying.

“I can’t do this. You said they supported you while you needed them. Why can’t they do the same for me?, if they love me why won’t they want what makes me happy?” you asked brokenly.

Jungkook sighed and wrapped his arms around you.

“I guess they think that by trying to make you do what they want it will make everything better for you. That eventually you’ll be happy.”

“They don’t understand and I can’t be here and feel like I am not.”

“Why don’t we both talk to them?” Jungkook suggested.

You shook your head. “I’ll talk to them.”

Jungkook went outside and waited for you to talk to your parents. You sat down at the living room where they sat.

“I have something to say.” you announced.

Only your mom turned to look at you.

“If you guys mean it and think that what I am doing is wasting my time. I am leaving right now. My bags are packed. But if you want to make an effort for our relationship to be better we can do it, I’ll stay until it’s better. I love you guys.”

“Honey we want you to stay. We only want what is best for you.”

“I know that mom, but I know what I want and what will make me happy.”

At that your dad turned.

“Whatever makes you happy should make us happy.” he mumbled. “That’s what Jungkook said before leaving.” he turned back to the television. “We want you to stay.” you were about to object but he continued, “For however long you can. And then I’ll drive you to the airport.”

He didn’t move, too stubborn to show even the lightest affection towards you. You rose from your seat and hugged him tightly before kissing his cheek and doing the same to your mom.  You rushed outside finding Jungkook by his truck. He saw your smile and rolled his eyes. But you still hugged him.

“Thank you.” you mumbled.

“No problem.” he mumbled against your hair. “Now let’s go celebrate.”

You both made your way to the club; the only source of entertainment in this small town. As you entered you couldn’t help but to feel wary, searching for the dark brown eyes that had haunted your memories for the last couple of days.

But as you entered you didn’t see him anywhere. Finally you gave up and went to sit at your usual stool with Jungkook. You stayed there for a couple of hours and then Jungkook walked you home. Your mind was still thinking about him when you felt a shiver run through you. You stopped and turned expecting to find someone behind you.

“You okay?” Jungkook asked stopping to watch you.

“Yeah I just could have sworn ….” you trailed off, “let’s just get home yeah?” You smiled at Jungkook and continued to walk towards your house.

As soon as you arrived you realized something was wrong, there was a small brown suitcase at the entrance. You took your coat off and hanged it looking around for either one of your parents.

“Mom? Dad?” You called into the house.

Your mom appeared by the doorway to the kitchen.

“Sorry sweetie we didn’t hear you come in.” She wiped her hands in a cloth.

“It’s okay I just got here.” You pointed to the suitcase. “What is that for?”

“Oh your dad received a call earlier. Thomas his friend from the city said his wife unfortunately passed away, so we are going to go to the funeral. We weren’t sure if you’d want to go.” Your mom explained.

“Oh I’m sorry, well I didn’t really know them” you stared at the suitcase. “When do you guys leave?”

“Tomorrow early in the morning, we should be back in a day or two. Will you be okay on your own?” She played with the small necklace around her neck, despite you living on your own she still felt nervous about leaving you by yourself.

“Oh yeah, I’ll call Jungkook. I’ll be fine mom go.”

She approached you and hugged you tightly against her.

“Okay, Dinner is almost ready.” she turned and walked back into the kitchen.

Dinner was something comfortable now. Conversation didn’t flow as easily as you wanted but they still asked questions about your life in college. And you answered them fully and eager for more questions. You liked them being interested in that other part of your life that was very important as well.

After dinner you went to your bedroom and closed the blinds, you began pulling your pijama out from your drawer when you felt a hand wrap against your mouth. The hand muffled the scream that tore out from your chest.

“Sshhh it’s just me.” Tae whispered against your ear.

His body was flush against your back as he held you tightly against him.

“I’m going to move my hand now, don’t scream yeah?”

You nodded quickly.  He removed his hand and stepped away from you. You were confused and angered as you turned to face him.

“What the fuck is your problem why did you sneak into my bedroom?” You whispered harshly.

“You left, why did you leave?”

Your face scrunched up at that, “huh?”

“You left before I woke up why?” he tried again.

“What do you mean? How did you even know this was my bedroom??”

“I watched you move your curtains.”

“Oh God is that supposed to make it less creepy or more creepy?” Your voice was coming out in angry whispers.

“Will you just answer my fucking question?”

You sighed. “What?”

“Why did you leave? Last night?” he tried again.

“I didn’t I mean I stayed till the rain passed.” You eyed him then, “Why does it even matter it’s not like you wanted me there.” You turned away your cheeks burning in shame.

“Why cause I didn’t fuck you silly?” He was already at your back and you jumped at his deep voice against your ear.

You turned not moving away from him.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” You tried to sound bored but your heart was beating faster by the second.

He backed you against the wall.

“Last night. When you asked me to help you sleep princess.” His arms caged you against the wall.

“My brain was all wobbly I don’t remember.” You lied.

“How about now?, do you want me to help you sleep?”

You looked up at him at that, your mouth turning dry at his words.

“I bet you do, I bet you’re wet just thinking about the things I’d do to you.”

You were breathing hard, you squeezed your legs together at the shot of arousal that shot through you.

“Would you like to know?” He asked, his breath fanned your face. Slowly you nodded not being able to talk out loud. “Oh you have no idea, first I’d make you beg for me. And you would, you would be desperate for me to touch you. Just like you are now.” You made no move to deny his comment.

The tips of his fingers played with the waistband of your jeans. Your breathing came out shallow. You made no move to stop him as he began unbuttoning your jeans. You said nothing as you leaned completely against the wall. His eyes didn’t leave yours as his hand dipped inside your jeans and began touching you through your underwear. You left out a shaky sigh at the contact.

Tae growled as his fingers began massaging your folds through your underwear. “So fucking wet like I knew you would be.” You grabbed onto his shoulders as his pace quickened. He buried his face on your neck, “I wonder if you taste as sweet as I imagine.” You moaned at that, “would you like that? Would you like it for me to get on my knees right now and eat you up?” He growled against your skin.

Before you could nod or make any affirmative indication there was a soft knock on your door. It was soft but you heard it nonetheless. You jumped and pulled Tae’s hand from your pants as you made your way to your door in shaky legs. You turned off the light.

“I’m getting dressed!” You yelled through the door.

“I just wanted to say goodnight and we’ll see you soon sweetie. In case we don’t see you in the morning.” Your mom's voice filtered through the door.

“Okay mom have a safe trip.” you locked the door and turned to find Tae grabbing a pig from your bed. When he noticed you staring he smirked, and threw the plushie down. “You need to leave.” You said pointing at him.

“That’s not what you were saying a couple of minutes ago.” He plopped down on your bed.

“Listen I’m sorry for leaving like that but you can’t be in here my parents are down the hall.” You crossed your arms across your chest.

He rose from the bed then walking towards you in short strikes across your bedroom finally reaching you. His whole presence was intimidating as he looked down on you with dark eyes.

“Come to my place tomorrow.” He demanded. It wasn’t a question.

“What?”

He rolled his eyes. “I said fucking come over tomorrow.”

“This is a very unconventional way of asking someone out.”

“No princess this isn’t a date, just to finish what we started. I want to fuck you dirty, the kind that doesn’t wash off.” He reached for your hand and placed it over his clothed dick. It was hard, and the bulge was big. Your eyes widened at the contact. “Fuck, what I wouldn’t do to have those pretty lips wrapped around my cock right now.” Your eyes shot up to meet his. He walked away from your touch towards your window. “If you wanna fuck you know where to find me.” He called out before slipping out the window.

The next couple of days you spent them in a foul mood. First of all Tae had left you horny, and all you could think about was his fingers on you. His hands on you, and that clouded everything else. You went to the bar on two occasions looking to get at least a glance of him. But he was nowhere to be seen.

So on the fourth day Jungkook finally snapped.

“What the fuck is up your ass?” he complained harshly.

You turned away from him, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Fucking bullshit, you’ve been acting like a fucking stick is up your ass so fucking explain or calm the fuck down.”

“I’m just….” you trailed off.

“Just????” He prodded.

Your cheeks burned in shame.

“Just horny” you mumbled.

“Huh I didn’t hear you?” Jungkook asked getting closer.

“Horny! Okay? I’m fucking horny get off my ass!” You yelled out in frustration.

A couple of persons turned to look at you but you hurried down the hall pushing the grocery cart. Jungkook trailed closely behind you.  

“Fuck, shit my bad. I didn’t know.” he tried scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Look sorry alright? It’s just been a while.”

“Um your hand?”

“Can we just change topics please?” You begged in shame.

“Of course. When are your parents coming back? It was supposed to be a short trip?”

“Uh yea they called me earlier, they told me they were gonna take a few more days.” You pushed the cart further down the aisle with Jungkook right behind you.

“Do you not own a vibrator or-?”

You stopped abruptly causing him to crash against your back.

“Jungkook we are done talking about this, let’s go pay so I can go home and burn in shame.”

Jungkook chuckled walking with you to the register, he drove you home but only dropped you off leaving you alone to fix the groceries by yourself.

You had thought about going to Tae but you couldn’t bring yourself to do that. He plainly stated all he wanted was sex, and by this point you were so horny any doubts were beginning to fade. Maybe just one time to get him out of your head. One time to know what sex with him felt like. You knew Jungkook would not come back for today, it was already late.

You thought about just going ang giving into this lust you felt. You sighed and decided to go take a warm shower and go to bed. After you showered you went into your room looking for a brush for your hair. You shivered as you felt a breeze.

You frowned as you went to close the window, you didn’t remember leaving it open. You closed it fully and pulled on the curtain. As you turned you saw someone laying down on your bed. You jumped in fear but it soon dissipated as you recognized him.

“Tae you gotta stop sneaking through my window and knock on the front door like a civilized fucking person would.” You complained ignoring him and walking into the bathroom.

“And miss that cute face you make when you are terrified come on now.” He leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed.

He played with the lip piercing on his lip and you wished it was you playing with it. He smirked through the mirror.

“I thought I told you to come see me.” His gaze turned dark.

“Uh yeah, but where is the fun in doing whatever you ask me to do.” you said before starting to brush your teeth.

“Oh you will princess. You will start doing exactly as I say.”

You rinsed and walked past Tae into your room. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you began to prepare for bed.

“Is there something you needed?” You stared impatiently, feigning boredom but that only made his smile widen.

“Why are you acting like you don’t want me to fuck you, we both know you have been drooling for my cock ever since you touched it.”

That did it. The shred of pride left vanished and all you wanted in that moment was for him to take you however he wanted. He must have noticed a change on your face because his smirk returned. He went to sit on the chair by your desk and widened his legs. You took that as and invitation and on wobbly legs you began walking towards him only to have him lift his hand to stop you.

“First you are gonna be a good girl and sit on the bed.”

You frowned but did as he said.

“Open your legs, show me that pussy.”

You blushed, and when you hesitated he groaned.

“Do what I’m telling you or else I’m leaving.” He threatened.

You slowly parted your legs, you shivered as you felt the breeze against your bare pussy.

“Touch yourself for me.”

“What?” Your face showed your surprise, you had never done anything like that in front of anyone before. Your legs sealed shut and you rose from the bed clenching the towel against your body.

You saw Tae rolling his eyes and eyeing you.

He tapped his thigh.

“Come sit here princess.”

You looked around your room awkwardly and then back to him.

“I won’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with.” He tried again.

You walked to him slowly and sat awkwardly on his lap. He began rubbing your thighs slowly, he grabbed your hips and positioned you to sit in between his legs. He kept rubbing your thighs and slowly his fingers inched to where you wanted him. The rings on his fingers felt cold against your skin.

His fingers reached your pussy and began sliding his finger across your slit. He groaned at the contact.

“You’re so fucking wet like I knew you would be princess,”

You rested your head against his shoulder as you let out a soft moan.

“That’s it princess let go,” he mumbled against your neck.

You began moving your hips chasing his fingers.

He chuckled lowly, “what do you need princess?, tell me what you want.”

“Your fingers Tae please.” You moaned out.

“I like hearing you beg, do it again.” He demanded stilling your movements with his other hand.

“Please, please finger me I need it so bad Tae please.”

“I like how pretty you sound begging. But wouldn’t you rather my cock?”

You moaned at that and nodded quickly.

“You need to earn my cock though baby.”  He mumbled sucking on the skin on your shoulder.

“Pleasee.” You tried again because you needed his fingers anything.

“I said you need to earn my cock.” He said more forceful.

“How?” You groaned.

“You know how.”

Oh, you did in that moment. You knew he wanted you to blow him. And right then you didn’t care.

“Okay.” You said.

He stopped all of his movements and allowed you to get on your knees in between his legs. He leaned against the cushioned chair and placed his arms against the arm rest.

He caressed your face then. “Are you gonna be a good slut and suck my cock?” His words shot arousal straight to your center. You nodded. “Take me out then.”

You unbuckled his belt and began undoing his jeans. You reached for his dick and when you grasped it your eyes widened. It was so much bigger than you anticipated, long and thick and that was not gonna fit your mouth.

“I wanna see you choking on my cock like a good slut yeah? I’m gonna fuck your mouth and I won’t stop till I want.”

You looked up at him and didn’t respond because yeah you were so turned on you wanted all of that. So you allowed him to wrap his long fingers on your hair and lead you to his already hard dick. You opened your mouth as wide as you could. He began pushing you slowly down his length. He let out a growl as your mouth wrapped around his tip and he had to stop the urge to thrust into your warm wet mouth.

“Fuck yeah just like that fuck your mouth feels so fucking good…… come on take a little more for daddy you can do it.” He encouraged pushing you further down. Your eyes began to water as he pushed you further down his length. Once you gagged he pulled you off saliva dripping from your lips. “Do that one more time and I’ll fuck you. Choke on my cock for a little longer and I’ll give you what you want.” He led you once again but faster, this time not stopping when you gagged or as years began streaming down your face. He groaned loudly and pulled you off his dick. “Fuck I was about to cum down your throat.” He looked down on you with lust filled eyes. “Hands and knees on the edge of your bed.”

You rushed to comply, you heard slow steps behind you and the sound of his belt being pulled off. He ripped the towel from your body and caressed your ass with one hand.

“Do you trust me?” His voice was even deeper and it made you shiver.

“Yes.” You mumbled.

He leaned over you and placed the belt around your throat, you flinched and tried to move away.

“No baby wait, I’m not gonna hurt you.” He whispered against your ear.

You stopped moving as he placed a finger against your throat and tightened the belt not completely choking you. He pulled on the belt and you realized then it was like a leash. He was treating you like his animal and you didn’t know why but that just turned you on even more.

“I’m gonna fuck you now.” He warned aa his length dipped along your pussy collecting your juices. “Do you want it?” He asked teasing your clit with his tip.

“Yeeees pleasee” you moaned out.

“How bad do you want it slut?” His pace was torturously slow.

“Fuck soo much I need your cock so bad Tae, please just fuck me.” You begged.

“I don’t know if you really want it you didn’t come to my place like a good slut would.” He stopped his movements and pulled on the belt.

“Fuck I’ll come everyday for your cock please, please give me your cock.” You didn’t even know what you were saying all you knew was you wanted him to fuck you.

“Yeah? You’ll come get fucked everyday?” He began squeezing your ass with one hand as he pulled on the belt.

“Yes please.”

“Just for me right?”

“Yes Tae just for you please I’ll do anything.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” He growled, then you felt the tip against your entrance. He began pushing slowly, the burn replaced by pleasure almost immediately. “You’re so fucking tight.” He groaned as he continued to push. And in a final push he seethed himself all the way. You moaned loudly and when you tried burying your face against the sheets he pulled on the belt harder. “I don’t think so, all those sweet moans belong to me, this belongs to me now get me?” When you didn’t respond he pulled on the belt.

“Yes fuck yes it’s yours Tae.” You almost screamed.

You couldn’t see the smirk he had at that moment. But almost instantly he began a brutal pace, you felt as if you were gonna cum almost instantly. And he felt your walls tightening around his dick.

“Do not cum unless I tell you to, be a good slut and hold on for me.” He said pounding into you as hard as he could. The headboard began slamming against the wall at the brutal pace he was going and you were pretty sure your moans could be heard outside but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. “You are such a good bitch for me holding on, this tight cunt feels so good around my cock fuck.” He growled.

“I need to cum Tae please.” You said hoarsely.

“No.” Was all he said before spanking your ass. You moaned louder at that. “Fuck you like that?” He did it again eliciting another moan for him. “Fuck you’re perfect, I’m gonna fuck you so good little whore.” He pulled on the belt and you were almost kneeling on the bed completely standing up. He reached for your clit and began rubbing in fast circles. You whimpered at that. “Fucking cum around my cock right now.” He wasn’t asking he was demanding, and you did in a silent scream. Your orgasm was so intense you fell forward on your hands. He let go of the belt and grabbed your hips as he began an even more brutal pace pulling  your hips to meet his. You began feeling yourself nearing another orgasm. “Where do I cum?”

“Inside my pussy, fill me up with your cum.” You groaned feeling yourself about to cum again.

He reached for your clit again. “Fucking cum, squeeze my cock again.” He demanded, he felt your walls tightening around him once again and he came almost instantly, you felt his cum inside and all you could do was whimper.

You never felt his weight on top of you. So you turned to see him using your towel to clean his dick. You looked at him curiously.

He looked at you when he felt you staring. “Fuck princess you look so good all fucked out with my cum seeping out from your cunt.” He tucked himself in and chuckled when he saw you shivering. “You like dirty talk?” He questioned. All you did was nod. “Good to know,”  he turned and walked to your door. “I’ll call.” He said before opening the door and leaving.

A/N: thanks so much for reading!

[pwnyta]

AGE OF ULTRON BOTHERS ME OK. Like... I ENJOYED IT. I thought it was a fun romp but if I think about it beyond just watching cool fight scenes its fucking irritating.

So Im gonna give my suggestions on how to fix it so it doesnt feel like Whedon disregarded every other movie that he had no part in..

HERE GOES.

First off... this should be a movie that completely cements the Avengers as a team. Ultron should try AND FAIL to put a divide in the Avengers. Loki already broke them up and Whedon absolutely knows that Civil War is coming and its gonna happen again so THIS movie should be one where the Avengers are the most SOLID OF UNITS.

Especially Steve and Tony. Steve distrust of Tony is baseless and obnoxious... it made some sense in the first movie because Tonys attitude in public and thats all Steve got plus Lokis discourse stick adding fuel to the fire... FINE. But its shitty in this movie and makes Cap look like a fucking moronic prick... because REALLY trusting the chick that mind raped you and tried to murder you over your fucking teammate? JANKY and makes you look like an incompetent leader (though the writers would ignore that fact because theyre too scared to let Steve make mistakes... but w/e)

The one area I can see them actually arguing or disagreeing is Tony making Vision after what happens with Ultron. Tony points out hes been making AI for a long ass time without issue and Cap says its not worth it, Tony argues damned if we dont maybe not damned if we do.... scuffle happens, Vision happens, Thor pops in, Stark was right... Cap and Tony have a heart to heart because theyre friends and they make up...

At some point before Wanda and Pietro switch sides, Wanda learns that Tony wasnt the one selling weapons... maybe when Ultron is talking about him learning shit from the internet and deciding humanity should just fuck off (a fair assessment honestly) one of the things he mentions is Tony being carelessness and Stane selling weapons under the table... and it starts sinking in in that moment that shes been attacking a man who had no real part in her parents death, but then Ultrons like Im gonna kill everyone and thats when Wanda and Pietro dip out.

The scene where Clint is talking to Wanda and Pietro should be a reconciliation between them and Tony instead... maybe a conversation about how he understands how it is to be the bad guy and hurt people because of grief... were not so different you and I and all that... and it would sting even harder in Civil War when Tony once again lets his grief consume him and he lashes out at Steve and Bucky.

Wanda getting to have a heart to heart with a character shes wronged most of all and trying to be a better person by helping the fight against Ultron would humanize her more and it would give her losing her brother a lot more of a sting. I think anyways.

CLINT SHOULD HAVE SHIT TO DO. I think Ive said this before but they should have Clint have a family but absolutely not have Clint go to his family home when hes being hunted down by a homicidal fuckin robot....ya know? He brings them to a safe house, the Avengers are still a little awkward and making comments... theres pictures of Clint with his wife and kids and Nat ‘these are agents.‘ ‘...the kids?‘ ‘...smaller agents...‘... at the end of the movie when theyre victorious we see a scene where Clint goes to another home and hes greeted by his wife and kids and were like OMG THEYRE ACTUALLY REAL AND NOT JUST A COVER? IDK what else to do with Clint...

Nat and Bruce woulda been fine but they should been the main source of animosity within the Avengers. Nat manipulated and lied to Bruce to get him into SHIELDs grasp and Bruce almost killed Natasha. Though theyre civil with each other in the end it would be interesting to see their relationship start to fester when theyre in a desperate situation. Maybe they get separated from the group and are forced to confront their negativity toward each other... and dont really make up until near the end of the movie. Natasha continuously thinks she can handle a situation alone (secretly shes afraid that Bruces anger for her will cause the Hulk to lash out at her too and Thor isnt around to stop him no one is... she'd be alone) and does a pretty good job fighting off the bad guys herself, but eventually theyre cornered and Bruce says they need Hulk... and she says no and they argue and Bruce does it anyways and takes out the bots coming after them and when he turns, Nat is clearly scared like she was that first time... Hulk reaches out to her because hes not just a mindless beast and she faces and conquers her fear and they work well together.

Bruce watching Natasha keep him safe and be there for him (maybe theres a point where SHE could save herself and leave Bruce but she doesnt) and she in turn sees that Bruce/Hulk isnt something that she needs to be scared of. EXCELLENT. If they wanna hint a maybe romance after that fine... I prefer it not happen but at least theres some material to work with. Bruce takes off at the end because he still cant deal with what happened earlier in the movie with him ripping apart a city... so hes off to Ragnarok as scheduled.

Thor.......... I dunno. Like Clint its a bit hard to work with him in this movie. He can do what hes doing in the movie I guess? but like... let him have some connection... maybe hes the one who calms Hulk down since Nats not there... but instead of just talking at Hulk hes like 'hey buddy!!' and Hulks like RRAWRRRR and Thor yells at him back and is like 'LOL -PUNCH- lets get going' and Hulk is like '-huff huff- -looks angry-.....k'. IDFK. But itd be cool since Ragnarok they became buddies anyways....

Rhodey should have been in contact with the Avengers in the movie more. There is a scene where hes talking with Tony and Nat over a computer but it was cut... but they should have given him that scene and him updating the Avengers on what hes doing (finding Fury and getting SHIELDs help or w/e) and Whedon not even letting Sam come back for the finally is unforgivable..

but I guess it would really highlight the fact he sidelined the 3 black guys and only let them come in in the end.... but Sam being sent to find Bucky was a shitty way to get rid of him. But it just makes it clear the movies after the Avengers was disregarded- Whedon doesnt know what to do with Sam (whos introd in Cap2), Rhodey is back to being War Machine with no explanation(even though in IM3 hes Iron Patriot), Fury is back with SHIELD (even though SHIELD was dismantled and Fury left)...

Rhodey being Iron Patriot could have been hilarious too... and also gave Steve and Rhodey some kind of connection. Just have him land by Cap in that ridiculous suit and Cap looks at him and he looks at Cap and Tonys like 'Well one of you needs to change...' and then in Civil War when Rhodey is back to War Machine... itd be kind of hilarious. They can even have another running gag where people keep fake mistaking them as the same person and theyre like 'ALRIGHT I FUCKING GET IT' 'LANGUAGE~~'

But youd need the writers to actually care about Rhodey... AND THEY FUCKIN DONT. All of them. Theyre all to blame.

..Where was I...

Also literally ONE scene with Vision and Tony... maybe at the very end... because Tony losing his most consistent/closest confidant and only RDJ looking devastated because he seems to be the only one who cares about Tonys bots/AIs kinda sucks. I mean Whedon admitted that he didnt think JARVIS was all that important didnt he? Garbo.

...IDK what else... but you know what I mean? Im so sick of heroes fighting each other... its cool and sad every once in awhile but literally every movie doesnt have to be that.

Will anyone read my rambling nonsense? Probably not... but I have a lot of feelings. AoU and BvS ...why do you gotta suck so hard.

[bitegore]

i. worry sometimes that my normal way of interacting with people is creepy and i dont know WHEN i started worrying about that but i definitely did

mostly because i iwent to go compliment someone and like six internal voices ive never fuckin heard before cropped up and went HEY ACTUALLY YOU CANT SAY THAT. THATS CREEPY. YOU CANNOT TELL THIS PERSON THAT THEY DID A GOOD JOB

and i mean. i did it anyway bc good work deserves praise, lol, and people deserve to be complimented instead of just thrown a like and ignored. but i dont like that what is literally my main form of interaction (giving compliments) is suddenly causing me to worry that im going to make the other person uncomfortable. this feels like step one into becoming one of the people who can only talk about things they hate, and i do NOT want to be like that. 

oh also additional explanation under the cut because i know this is gonna read as “justification” but it is very much just me kinda rambling 

ok so i have NEVER ever in my LIFE been good at reading or understanding social cues. i have ADHD, and while thats usually thought of as Zoomy Cant Sit Still Disorder it comes packaged with a lot of things and i mean, fir a few years i thought i might have been autistic and im still not 100% sure i’m not lol. i still really do not like eye contact, i dont pick up on social cues i havent learned, and i ‘mask’ a lot in a way that i havent heard many other adhd peeps talk about but some of my autistic friends do. different faces for different places and all that. 

i can mimic people fine. I’m great at that, actually! I am very good at copying. Monkey see, monkey do, yadda yadda yadda. But that isnt helpful if im trying to act independently, and its also not helpful if everyone’s apparent standards seem different AND its not helpful if this, or that, or WHATEVER but my point is that in situations without a clearly laid out way that other people take an action, I dont know what the fuck im doing

like it took me until i was around 14 to finally go to my dad and go “you keep saying i need to be more respectful so i stop doing [x behavior] but you KEEP SAYING IT so wtf do you mean” and actually got like a codified explanation of what, apparently, every other person on the planet learned at age like 5. I am not fantastic at figuring out what topics im “not allowed” to talk about where, or what makes certain people more “safe” to talk to than others. i am extremely chatty in not good times to be chatty, to the degree that my dad took me aside one day and told me that i was going to get hurt if i keep talking to random strangers, and my mom liked to tell me i was gonna get kidnapped and murdered any time we went into the city and i literally could never figure out why the fuck she was telling me that until my dad had a convo with me years later lol 

i dont know shit

im not asking for allowances tho

if i make you uncomfortable you’re entirely allowed to be uncomfortable

i just kind of want to say... its from a place of oblivious goodwill, i guess? 

(i mean, this probably isnt really your business because im already in a committed relationship, but i’m also extremely demi. i don’t hit on people because i dont have the capacity to be attracted to people until i’ve known them for like. years. if i call you really pretty and you’re uncomfortable because you think its a come on like feel free to call me out on that but please know that its not i just think people should be complimented and that if someone should do something then i have to ALSO do something, because ‘someone’ doesnt exist, theres only people and im one of those)

[distractedhistotech]

Ghost +1

Sydney was in the back of the van.  She preferred it back there since she could move around more.  Plus it felt weird staring out the window since losing her eye. She guessed it was the loss of depth perception.  She was still learning how to gauge distance.

“So, that was kind of lame.  Why did they think that guy was a ghost anyway?” asked Sydney as she tried to contact juggle some balls they had and dropped them all over the place.  “He didn’t even put a lot of effort into his costume.”

“They were really superstitious,” said Arthur.  “Only a few steps from being a cult when you think about it.  They decide that anything strange has to have a supernatural or spiritual cause.  Don’t even think there’s a scientific explanation because why couldn’t it be something that proves they’re right.”

“Arthur, you’re starting to ramble,” interrupted Vivi.

Arthur blushed. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. They were a bit…extreme,” admitted Vivi. “I can see why it would upset you.”

Mystery decided this was a good reason to lay his head on Arthur’s lap.  Sydney then flung her arms around him.  “Yeah!  I thought they were creepy too!”

“Sydney!  I’m driving!”

“Pretty sure they thought I was an idiot,” continued Sydney.  “I mean that tone they used with me was just insulting!  Just because I’m missing an eye doesn’t mean I’m an idiot! Lots of people are missing parts and are smart!  I’m not a pirate!”  Sydney paused.  “Actually, there were some pretty intelligent pirates.  I don’t know where I was going with that.  I seem to come back to pirates a lot lately.  I know why I do, but it’s getting kind of old.  I need to find something else to obsess with when I get riled up.”

“You could go back to talking about comics,” suggested Vivi.

Sydney sighed. “Yeah, I miss that…Why do I have so much trouble bringing comics up nowadays?  It used to be second nature, but now I have to focus to talk about them. Even though I still love comics. It doesn’t make sense.  Is this part of growing up?  Part of recovering from a traumatic event?  Both?  It feels like something’s wrong.  But isn’t that normal now?”  Sydney rested her forehead on the back of Arthur’s head, not noticing how hard he was gripping the steering wheel.  “Do you ever feel like that?”

“Yes,” said Arthur. He’d felt like it since he woke up in a hospital missing an arm, missing a friend, missing memories, missing so much… “I don’t think it’s gonna go away.” Mystery let out a whine and licked one of Sydney’s hands.

Vivi looked between the two as the mood quickly started to darken.  God, she just wanted her two friends to be happy like they used to be. She needed to find a way to change the subject and make them smile.  “Why don’t we pick up a couple of pizzas or something and then watch a couple of hours of Star Trek or Star Wars or Captain America?”

Arthur caught on to what she was trying to do and smiled.  “That would be nice.  It’s been a while since we hung out.”  He frowned. “That’s my fault.”  He’d been busy looking for Lewis.  He was trying not to ignore his remaining friends, but it was hard when he wanted to find the other one and mentioning him did…something to them.

“What the heck are you working on anyway?” asked Sydney.  “You’re not usually this secretive.  You’re not trying to make a mechanical eye again, are you?”

“No!...Not usually anyway,” admitted Arthur.

“I can see where he’s coming from,” said Vivi.  “I don’t think we can buy another eye if something else goes wrong.  We need an alternative method.”

Sydney shuddered. “Okay, point taken.  Being blind sucked.  I don’t know how someone can live with that for a lifetime. Especially if you’re born like that! Can you imagine never knowing colors? And I bet light doesn’t make a lot of sense either.  And you can’t play videogames!”

“Can’t work on cars or fabricate parts,” continued Arthur.

“Probably can’t paint either,” mused Vivi.  “Unless the various colors smelled different from one another.”

Sydney wrinkled her nose.  “Is-Is that a thing?  And I don’t mean synesthesia!  Can blind people have synesthesia?  Or deaf people?  Or anyone missing one sense?”

“What if sounds are linked to smell instead?” suggested Arthur.

“Can that happen?”

“Dunno.  Maybe.”

“Pigments are just a type of chemical compound, so it would make sense for them to have a scent,” said Vivi, keeping the conversation from veering off in a completely different direction for once.

“Depends on the chemical.  Some don’t have a scent, or at least the scent is too faint for humans to pick up on,” explained Arthur.

“I dunno, I swear I was smelling more right before you fixed my eye,” argued Sydney.

“It’s not quite the same thing.  When you lose a sense you pay more attention to the ones that are left, like reassigning roles.  We get the most information from sight, so when someone loses their sense of sight they pay a lot more attention to little things that they didn’t even realize they were ignoring.  Also, I think there’s some neuroplasticity involved.  Your brain isn’t using the part that used to be for putting together what your eyes saw, so it starts using it for other things over time.” Arthur was silent for a moment. “Um.  But you, uh, would know better than me, given, you know.  Sorry, I got a little too into the science papers I’ve been reading.”

Sydney smiled and shrugged.  “It’s fine. I think it’s pretty interesting, even if I don’t understand all of it.”  She tapped her eyepatch.  “Does losing an eye affect how much of my brain it uses?”

“Just one?  I’m not sure.  You are seeing less…”

“Can you still smell and hear more than you’re used to?” asked Vivi.

Sydney shrugged. “Dunno.  I don’t think so.  Was kind of distracted at the time.  Plus, everything looked different when I could see again.”

Vivi huffed. “It is just so unfair.  How is it that my abilities still haven’t manifested but my half of the eye lets you see spirits?”

“It is really strange,” agreed Sydney.

“Maybe it’s because your abilities are already active,” suggested Arthur.  “And you do have some control over ‘em.”

Vivi hummed in thought.  “That might be it.  There are still so many unknowns…”

“Hey, I don’t care how as long as no one else has to go blind,” said Sydney.  “Besides, I’m sure something will wake you up eventually.”

“Yeah, but what if I’m like 40 when it finally happens?” complained Vivi.  “Heck, if I have kids by then, they might have gotten their power before me…”

Arthur winced. “Do you want kids?”

Vivi nodded. “Of course!  One, maybe two.  I just have to find the right guy,” she said, giving Arthur a significant glance.

Arthur missed said glance entirely as he was distracted by thoughts of what could have been. Sydney was blind on that side. The only one to notice was Mystery, who huffed.  Why did life have to be so difficult for these kids?  The last time he’d had charges this prone to trouble…

It hadn’t ended well. Mystery would rather not dwell on the depressing memories.

Vivi realized her hint had gone over their heads yet again and decided to just move on.  “Do you guys want kids?”

“I want one!  So there can be a Sydney Scoville III!” proclaimed Sydney.  “But just one.  Don’t think I could handle more than that.”

Arthur was silent. Lewis wanted kids.  He’d be an amazing father with how well he handled his sisters.  “I dunno if I want children.  I don’t want to pass on any of my issues.”

Vivi and Sydney both frowned at Arthur’s reasoning.  “Most of your issues are due to your early upbringing,” pointed out Vivi. “You wouldn’t make those same choices and mistakes.  That would prevent most of those issues from happening.”

“They could still pick up the behavior from me,” argued Arthur.  “There’s only so much that I can change.”

“I don’t think you need to change,” said Sydney.  “I mean, yeah, you’ve got anxiety issues, but lots of people do.  You’re also smart and nice and help people and have cool hair and stro-”

“What if I attract something dangerous?” interrupted Arthur.

“Then I’ll just keep living nearby,” reasoned Sydney.  She’d live with him if he asked.  “I mean, I don’t see why I would leave Tempo.”

“Me either. Tempo is our home,” agreed Vivi. She placed a hand on Arthur’s flesh and blood hand.  “We’re stuck with each other.  For life.”

Arthur felt himself cheer up a bit at that.  He gave Vivi a smile and tried to give Sydney one as best he could.  Maybe he was being selfish, but he wanted to stay close to his friends.

And then the dashboard started to spark.  Arthur’s eyes widened.  “What?! No, no, no…”  He stomped on the gas several times but failed to pick up speed.

Vivi frowned. “Is something wrong with the van?”

“There shouldn’t be! I just performed maintenance on it!”

Sydney raised an eyebrow.  “Am I the only one who thinks the purple sparks were weird?”

Arthur blinked. “Purple?”

Sydney nodded. “Yeah, I was staring right at the dashboard.”  The high beam light looked like a jellyfish.  “Definitely purple.”

“That is not a thing that should happen!” shouted Arthur.

Vivi nodded. “Electricity’s supposed to just be white, which suggests this isn’t normal.”  The van came to a stop right in front of…Vivi blinked several times.  “A dancing mansion?”

Okay, it wasn’t actually dancing.  However, it was sort of pulsing/bopping to a beat that one could fell in their bones. It was noticeably run down and purple and had eerie lights in the windows.

“There’s no way that’s not haunted,” deadpanned Sydney.

“Erm…”  Arthur tried turning over the car again.  “We don’t, have to investigate, do we?”

Vivi thought of what happened last time they’d jumped into an investigation without any preparation.

Blood. Hospitals.  Loss.  Guilt.

“If you can get the van started, we’re leaving,” said Vivi.  “Sydney, you’re not wearing your suppressor?”

Sydney shook her head. “Still practicing controlling it on my own.”

“Good.  Don’t reign it in.”

Mystery just stared at the mansion.  He recognized its aura.  He could barely believe it.

When did Lewis come back and what did he have planned? 

Lewis was planning to exact his revenge.  The plan had been simple:  Create a mansion on a road that they often traveled along near Tempo (He couldn’t get into Tempo, but that could be because of some of the wards Vivi had tried setting up.), lure the Mystery Skulls (especially Arthur) into the mansion, separate them, bring Arthur to his location, kill Arthur, and reunite with the girls and Mystery, with possible minor changes as were needed.  He was also open to making Arthur confess what happened to the girls (They must not have seen what happened to just go along with him.) before killing him.

The plan started to unravel as soon as the van came to a stop in front of his mansion.  Part of that was because instead of rushing into the mansion on the heels of Vivi like he was expecting, they stayed in the van. And stayed.  A lot longer than he recalled them ever doing so when he was alive.

Part of it was indirectly Sydney’s fault.  He’d known that her aura was potent against malevolent spirits and the like, but he hadn’t really appreciated it until he felt it pressing down on him.  From all the way outside.  He found himself rubbing his temples.  Ow.  No wonder the nastier spirits went out of their way to avoid her.  He was actually leaking some energy.  He could last for some time as long as he was careful, but theoretically, they could just stay in the van until he was too drained to keep them here.  If they tried that, he’d have to go out and confront them.  Not something he wanted to do, but if it became necessary…

Lewis wondered why he was being affected in the first place.  He wasn’t evil…Well, okay, he did want to kill Arthur.  That was justified, but maybe it was gray enough for Sydney’s ability to categorize him as malevolent.  If that was the case, then it would probably stop after he killed Arthur and no longer had any desire to hurt someone.

Lewis was dragged from his musings as several figures started exiting the van.  Finally!  Lewis quickly started setting up the finishing touches of his plan.

It was time to end this. 

Arthur had to admit defeat.  “I’ll need to look under the hood, and I don’t want to do that in front of a haunted mansion.”  He sighed. “I don’t wanna go inside either.”

Sydney had been staring at the mansion the whole time.  She could see the music.  And anger. This eye was so weird.  “I think you’d be okay.  Pretty sure my aura will reach that far.”

Mystery could confirm that her aura did extend that far and would retain enough potency to be effective. Not that he could tell them, but it was certainly a weight off his shoulders.

Vivi started handing out various items for protection and fighting.  “It’s a tough choice.  Stay out here alone but relatively safe or go inside with us to stay close to Sydney and me.”

Arthur groaned. If he was less worried about the girls’ safety he would stay outside, but he couldn’t help but worry that if he let them go inside that he would never see them again.  It had happened before.  Even if he couldn’t do anything to protect them, he could draw fire away from them.

“I think I’ll go with you guys,” Arthur decided.

Sydney and Vivi studied him for a moment before Sydney suddenly bit her thumb and smeared some blood in the center of his forehead.  “Just in case.”

Arthur instinctively looked up with crossed eyes for a moment.  “Uh.  Okay. I guess that’ll work.”

“It should. There is power in blood,” said Vivi as she gave him some holy water and slipped a beaded necklace over his head and under his shirt.  “We can try practicing making protective symbols with it too.”

Sydney chuckled. “Like an anime.”  She nodded.  “Anything that you think will help.”

Arthur fought down the urge to wipe at the blood on his forehead.  “Can I just say that I don’t like having other people’s blood on me?” It brought back bad memories.

Sydney winced. “Oh.  Sorry.  Should’ve asked first, shouldn’t I?”

Arthur took a deep breath.  “I’m fine. I’ll be fine.  You said it might help so it’s something to try.”  The blood itched on his forehead.  “But I am totally scrubbing it off when we get out of here.”

Vivi nodded. “Sounds like a decent enough compromise.”  She handed an ofuda to Sydney.  Sydney smeared some more blood on the back of it.  “I don’t want either of you getting hurt again.  You’re just starting to get back to where you were before.”

That made both of them wince.  The last few months of learning to live with new handicaps had been difficult and frustrating in several ways.  They didn’t want a repeat with themselves or Vivi or Mystery.

All four of them silently vowed to protect the others.

The walk up to the mansion’s front door took just a few seconds.  Vivi knocked on the doors (She was concerned that the inhabitants would be excited by Arthur knocking and see Sydney knocking as a declaration of war.), which creaked open ominously.  The inched in, the doors slamming shut behind them.

The darkness didn’t last long enough for them to pull out flashlights.  Several purple wisps of fire floated by and lit candles lined along the walls and set on a chandelier.

Vivi absently noted that the layout kind of reminded her of the Spencer mansion, except a lot more purple.

“Sydney, stop humming.”

“Oops.  Didn’t notice-”

Several purple ghosts suddenly popped up.  “Who-o-o-o-oa!”

Most of the group immediately tensed up.  Vivi didn’t immediately though.  “Cute!”

They really were adorable…until more popped up behind them.  “This time I might just disa-Who-o-o-o-who-o-o-oa!”  They suddenly got pointy toothed with claws. “Oh yeah!”

Nope.  They took off running down the hallway through break in the ghosts.

“This time I might just disappear!”

A suit of armor suddenly lunged towards them and swung an ax.  Sydney and Vivi dove under the ax.  Arthur vaulted over it.  Mystery barely dodged it, having to use his kitsune magic to retract his head into his body.

“Gah!”

“Mystery!”

“)%$*&$^#$(%^)*%(&%*&$&!”

Mystery popped his head back out before any uncomfortable questions could be asked.

“Who-o-o-o-who-o-o-oa…”

They abruptly realized that the paintings lining the hall were moving.  They suddenly leapt out.  “Oh yeah!”

The Mystery Skulls leapt into each other’s arms.  Thankfully, the portrait spirits pulled back into the paintings.  “Who-o-o-o-oa…”  And then the lady painting reached out and pulled a rope next to her painting.

A trapdoor opened under them.  They fell down screaming, and things became bizarre, even by their standards.  They weren’t falling as quickly as they should be. It was more like they were floating.  Not to mention there were several random items in the space with them.  A few hours later, they would comment on how it was oddly reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland.

They floated past several mirrors.  Vivi was a bit confused by the fact that her reflection had completely purple eyes. From what Mystery could see in his cracked mirror they could see past glamours.  Arthur was facing away from the mirrors so he didn’t see that they failed to reflect his prosthetic.  Sydney did faintly notice this but was a bit distracted by how her reflection showed her right after her injury with her remaining eye leaking various colors from it.

Then Arthur’s fall suddenly sped up.  Vivi and Sydney made to grab him, but just missed him.  Then they noticed Sydney was falling even slower and tried to grab each other, but it was too late again.

Sydney let out an ‘oof’ and shot to her feet as she landed.  “I’m armed!” she shouted, brandishing the ofuda.  She turned around.  There were a bunch of boxes, a dusty bed with no covers, and… a mannequin in a wedding dress and holding an ax?  Sydney thought she was in the basement until she noticed some windows that she ran over to.  She felt her brain short circuit.  “How the *&^*) do you fall down into the attic?!”

Vivi and Mystery had landed in a kitchen where a pair of dagwood sandwiches were laid out on the center counter.  The two stared at them for several moments but managed to pull themselves away. “Right.  Separated…We should look for Arthur first.  Sydney can take care of herself in this sort of situation.” Her stomach growled.  Mystery’s growled even louder.  “…I wonder if it would be safe to grab a few pieces.”

Arthur landed on his ass in what was probably the basement.  He absentmindedly glanced upward in confusion (How did that work? Ghost logic was so weird.) before zeroing in on a large coffin with a skull and thorny vine design on the top of the lid.  It was beating like the rest of the house.

Not good.

The coffin slowly opened, revealing a jawless skull floating above a large body in a nice suit.

Lewis narrowed his eye sockets as he floated out and slammed his feet in front of Arthur.  He glared at his murderer, full of hate and anger.

Arthur stared in fear, unable to recognize his dead friend.  All he saw was a scary, probably powerful, likely dangerous ghost that had separated him from his friends.

Lewis broke the silence by pointing a finger at Arthur.  “Fuck, it’s you I hate the most.”

Arthur gulped and pointed at himself.  “Buh-buh-Why?”

It was a reasonable question from Arthur’s point of view.  Lewis…it did occur to him that he wasn’t as recognizable without his face.  He lit the braziers and let his hair form. “Does this answer your question?!”

No, it didn’t, but Arthur decided he wasn’t going to explain that this was a case of mistaken identity to a ghost that probably wasn’t going to listen.  He threw the vial of holy water, turned on his heel, and ran.

Lewis did recoil a bit at the holy water.  He was a fire ghost.  Water stung even if it wasn’t holy.  Then he threw it off, decided this was proof of Arthur’s guilt, and gave chase.

Arthur was in good shape (He didn’t understand how he was still so healthy when he’d been hospitalized and locked in his workroom so much for the last few months.) and used to running from scary things.  He glanced behind him and saw the ghost practically flying towards him.  No more glancing back.  He put on a burst of speed.

Oh, hey, Vivi and Mystery.  “Angry ghost! Run!”

Vivi and Mystery looked away from the sandwiches they were still debating eating.  They looked in the direction Arthur came from, threw the sandwiches at the angry ghost, and ran after Arthur.  Lewis didn’t bother trying to avoid the sandwich contents and flew right through them.

“We need to find Sydney!” shouted Vivi.

“Where is she?!” shouted Arthur.

“I don’t know!”

Mystery could feel that Sydney had ended up in the attic and was managing to work her way down. He pulled ahead and ran up some stairs, Arthur and Vivi close behind him.  They ran through a bunch of doors and rooms.

Sydney heard the racket and threw open the door of the room she’d wandered into.  “Angry Elvis ghost!”

That threw Lewis for a loop.  “Elvis? Are you kid-”  He saw the eyepatch.  “What happened to your-”

Sydney threw an ofuda at him.  Lewis yelped and pulled it off.  That hurt!

“You stay away from Arthur!” demanded Sydney.

That hurt almost as much as the ofuda.  “You don’t get it.  He-”

Vivi darted back and grabbed Sydney.  “What’re you waiting for?!”  She then dragged Sydney off.

Okay, Vivi and Sydney didn’t know about his murder.  Somehow. Maybe it was post traumatic amnesia or something.  Clearly, this needed to be remedied.  Also, why was Sydney wearing an eyepatch?  She wasn’t wearing an eyepatch for the heck of it.  There’d been scars peeking out.  He gave chase, now equally intent on telling Vivi and Sydney what happened along with killing Arthur.

He threw fire to keep Arthur from moving down a hallway.  Arthur turned and stared at him fearfully.  Lewis felt his desire for vengeance clawing up his heart.

And then Vivi and Sydney put themselves between them, Vivi with her arms outstretched as if to shield Arthur as much as possible, Sydney with her hands up as if she was prepared to fight him.

This was wrong. Vivi and Sydney were supposed to be on his side.  He wasn’t the enemy!  He just needed…Maybe…Yes.  That would work.  He willed his anchor towards them.

They just needed to see the proof of who he was, that they knew him.

The flames died down. Arthur was certain he knew the way to the front door from this spot.  He grabbed Vivi and Sydney and booked it.

Vivi and Sydney glanced back once.

Mystery made sure to take up the rear.

Lewis stared in disbelief and heartbreak as his murderer and the love(s?) of his life and (more than) best friend.

And his anchor fell and broke.

And Lewis switched to frustration and anger and despair and why did this happen to him?! Why why why?!

He screamed, pouring his everything into it as his fire erupted around him.

The living Mystery Skulls barely made it through the doors in time to avoid being burned alive. Mystery might have had something to do with it.  They rushed to the van.  “Go go go!”

Arthur revved the van. It started.  “I’m going!”

They peeled out of there.

None of them saw the figure watching them from one of the high windows.  Lewis watched as the van drove away.  He pressed down on his cracked anchor and looked at the picture inside.

It was from shortly after he and Vivi started dating.  He had an arm around Vivi, who was hugging him.  Sydney had an arm thrown over his shoulder while he used his free arm to support her.  No Arthur. The three of them were smiling and happy and whole and alive.

They could never go back to that.

Lewis barely noticed the tear running down his face as he finally passed out and returned to his anchor, the house fading around him.

[moojiii]

this is a failure

ok i havent been caught up on my kdramas in a while, but i recently saw a tiktok of The Last Empress or 황후의 품격 and oh my lord. it might be one of the worst things ive seen in a while. I was drawn to it in the tiktok because it was about the ML realizing he loved the FL only after the ML2 fell in love with her and he was about to lose her. and i was likeee hmmmm its 2019 (when the drama was released), maybe this will finally be the drama that the ML really isnt the ML and he missed his chance so he doesnt get the girl now, she loves someone else. that would actually be so good. like i would be giddy. so i look up the kdrama and mind you my smile immediately fades away when there are like 26 episodes (52 parts) cause holy sh, that is WAYYY too much, like you already know that there is going to be so much unessecary drama and filler episodes. its just too much. but i would do anything for the satisfaction of ML2 getting the girl instead of the ML1. So basically, the plot is... if SKorea still had a monarchy in modern times and the emperor marries a common girl, BUT he only marries her according to his mother’s wishes to protect the girl he really loves.

characters

I have gotten to episode 9 (part 19) and so far, there are 7 character that seem important 1. the emperor ML 2. the queen 3. the grandqueen (grandmother queen) 4. the empress FL 5. the emporer’s lover FL2 6. King’s main bodyguard ML2 7. the late emperor’s concubine (f) 8. the emperors little brother these are the most important characters so far but im only on episode 9 so there are probably so many more. 

firstly i would like to point out that there is not one singular character that i like to see on the screen. these characters are so over the top and act like complete animals. I feel like whoever wrote these characters do not understand human emotion and interaction. the ONLY character i enjoy is gma. she is the only sane character in this drama. and the lil bro.... and the FL younger sister. everyone else can suck my cawk. bro everyone is so infuriating it actually makes me nauseous.  lets talk about the queen. ok this lady put cameras. CAMERAS in her sons bedroom and bathroom. she watches him bathe bro . like cmon how can you watch this drama with peace in mind. she is obsessed with her son which is the reason why she hates every woman that he loves. there are several awful scenes where she is kissing him on the lips and there is so much seggsual tension between her and him i cant stomach it. she makes him marry the common girl (FL) because she known he doesnt love her and the FL will be easy to get rid of. she killed the first empress (yes there was an empress before the FL and the mom killed her cause she was jealous ig??) idk man. its so hard to watch. her acting is pretty good though. she’s super emotional and believable. her chemistry with her son is so good that its actualy disgusting. props to them.

ok now the FL. i have never seen a more unlikeable female character in my life. its probably on purpose, to make her so ignorant of true royalty life, but this girl is so stupid, i cant even like her a little bit. in general its hard for me to stand by anyone who will lick a man’s boots no hesitation. like,, i feel like its fine to fangirl over a cute celebrity, but how are you still gonna act like a fan girl to your husband. ML tricked her so easily too... like bro come on, not even a little suspicion?? i had a little bit of hope for her in the beginning but she folded IMMEDIATELY. it took 1 day and she folded. man proposed to her after meeting her 4 times. you have to be a DIFFERENT kind of stupid to fall for that kinda scheme. and after she found out he was cheating around, girl was like, “ill believe anything you tell me” and then punished his lover. like WHAT???? i know this dude the emperor and all but please get at least a little angry at him. her “redeeming quality” is supposed to be that she is a nice person and she sings well ig? but that doesnt cut it for me. It’ll probably come into play later, but right now it just seems like she’s hella pushover and ditzy. i cant watch and relate and feel for a character who is constantly getting sht on and continues to be the same person as before. :/

ok ML. bro... i have never seen such an insufferable character IN MY LIFE. IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE. this dude is the BIGGEST ASSHOLE IVE EVER WITNESSED. i cannot come ot like him. he does not get a redemption arc. if you murder someone, you do not get a redemption arc. you get sent to jail immediately. i get he has trauma and stuff from his bum ass mom, but come on dude, he is a child in a grown mans body. the worst part is that even though he is treating FL like the grime under his fingernail, HE IS STILL GONNA GET HER???? like what??? please make that make sense. unlikeable character. terrible attitude, and i dont like his acting either. i dont htink he is a good fit for his role. his “sweet smile” looks absolutely insane.

FL2 = emperor’s lover. ok i’m actually rooting for this girl, cause she has a plan in mind and she’ll stop at nothing to take it. she’s the only character that is showing gains and getting what she wants because she is working for it. she is an absolute slimy weasel no doubt about it, but damn is she good at what she does. and no matter how hard the characters try to throw her away, she alwys comes back in a new suit, face beat, hair done, nails done, smiling. i cant help but htinking how much of a girlboss she is. and she has the emperor wrapped around her fingers. but yes she is absolutely annoying and a murderer as well. she killed her own adoptive mom and doesnt give 2 shts about her son. all she cares about is power and money (fatal flawww) but i swear to god, if she is the MAIN antagonists and just continues to be a hurdle up until the very end, imma be pissed off, its just dragging at this point. Also she has like 5 scenes that are identical of her hugging ML and cracking a devious smile behind his back. its actually hilarious.

[r5h]

Moving On—Interlude IV: Voodoo Child

AO3 LINK

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

NEXT CHAPTER (not out yet!)

Yet again, props to @hecallsmehischild​ because if not for her encouragement, this chapter would have waited even longer.

“Let me get this straight,” Lance said, after a long pause.

Arthur glanced up at him from his supine position on the creeper, his legs under the hood of Lance's tow truck. “Take your time,” he said. “And I, um, don't mean that in a condescending way, I just mean that it is honestly a lot to take in, so—”

“Stop being a dingus, Art. You didn't sound condescending.”

Arthur grunted and pulled himself entirely underneath. That was how he'd related his long, crazy story, once Lance had finally managed to cajole him into relaying it. He'd been under Lance's truck, devoutly fixing the car, and explaining what had happened like it was some kind of idle gossip about celebrities, or hair, or something.

“So, Lew's a ghost, tried to kill you because he thought you killed him, but now he knows about that demon thing that got in your arm, so he doesn't try to kill you—as often. Vivi can remember Lew except she still doesn't. And her dog can talk. And isn't a dog.”

“That's the essentials, yeah.”

It wasn't even like when Arthur had told him about the cave. He'd been sobbing then, still lying on the hospital bed, curling up instinctively and without enough arms to hold himself.

Gritting his back teeth, Lance stepped forward and leaned on the truck. “Art?” he asked. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Why?”

Offhand. Disinterested.

“Why? What the—God's name—Christ, are you kidding?” After some aggressive yanks at his mustache, Lance crouched down, looking Arthur in the tops of his eyes. “You didn't exactly describe a trip to the spa there, kiddo!”

“Oh, I see what you mean. It's just....” Arthur glanced at him. “Everyone made it out fine. So I'm fine.” His gaze returned to the car above him.

“For real?” Lance gestured futilely, since Arthur wasn't looking at that moment. “How about your prosthetic? It's looking beat-up. Sounds like it's taken some abuse the past forty-eight hours.”

He waited, but Arthur seemed content to let the silence draw out. Eventually, Lance continued, “Don't you wanna take it into, y'know, the shop? Before it breaks on you?”

“It can take more abuse. I built it pretty strong.”

Arthur's mouth moved, and the rest of his body kept working, and they might as well have belonged to two different people. The answer was dispassionate—no, automatic. He'd been stockpiling answers like this.

“What about your van? That's still not fixed, and it's your car.” Lance winced as he glanced once more at Arthur's van, its insides still blackened and melted. “How are you gonna go pick up that Surf's Up Pizza you like? You know they ain't delivering any time soon, no matter how well you tip 'em.”

“Eh. You know it's not good for me.”

“Art, when you get to my age, you're gonna find out that sometimes terrible pizza is the best thing for you.” Lance blinked a few imes as an unhappy hypothesis occurred to him. “Besides, your friend's not gonna be able to go on cases without a working vehicle, either.”

Arthur didn't respond immediately, and when he did, the response didn't sound as rehearsed. “That's a good point, actually. I didn't think of that.”

Lance sighed. Everyone made it out fine. It seemed Arthur hadn't been counting one crucial person among 'everyone'.

Scratching his hair, Lance trudged back not to his office, but to the second floor stairs leading to where he lived, above the shop. Sure, the oil smells could be bad sometimes, but after a while they just started smelling like home.

It wasn't a large home—just a hallway with rooms hanging off like grapes. Lance's room was at the end, past the living room, kitchen/dining room, bathroom... Art's old room.

The door was closed, and his hand rose to the knob for a second—but then he let it fall. It hadn't really changed much since the last time he saw it, now that Arthur didn't live here anymore. Lance had forced him to find his own place once he'd reached eighteen and had, frankly, outgrown the room.

Pushing forward, he opened his own door, revealing a room even smaller than Arthur's: no one could accuse him of outgrowing the space. He crossed to the wardrobe and opened it. Then, he opened the second wardrobe within.

Lance stared at what hung behind the false wall; he squinted, clenched his jaw, and sighed; and then he closed the wall back up, climbed onto his bed, and lay there. He knew how this worked: the decision wasn't made yet, but it was coming, bit by bit. And once he was fully sure—

He closed his eyes, but still felt the deja vu. “It's gonna be like last time, huh?” he muttered.

“Heya there! How's my least favorite sister doing?”

Niav rolled her eyes, looking down at Lance from her doorway. “Do we really need to do this? Every time, doing this?”

“Aw, you know you're my favorite sister too.” Lance grinned up at Niav Kingsman, his only sister. “Now get down here so I can noogie ya.”

She did no such thing, but did step aside to allow him entry. “You're a bit overdressed,” she murmured with a little smile. “And what are you hiding back there?—and I use the word 'hiding' loosely.”

Indeed, Lance wore not his usual torn-sleeved white shirt and jeans, but instead a suit and tie. It was a special day, after all, for a special person. “Now where's the birthday boy?” he called out, holding a box half his own size behind his back.

Looking around, it wasn't what he'd expected. Obviously he'd been there before, so he knew that the couch would be there, on the left, facing the TV—and then a staircase on the right, on the hallway to the main living room, dining room, and kitchen—but where were the decorations? The stack of presents? (Or maybe he was thinking of Christmas—who knew.)

“Arthur!” called another voice, from the kitchen: this had to be Wayne, Niav's husband, making the cake. “Your uncle's here!”

After maybe half a minute, Arthur finally came down the steps and around the corner. “Hi, Uncle Lance,” he said, a little smile on his face.

“Oh, don't be so shy—” Lance dropped the box, letting it rattle on the floor, and rushed forward to grab Arthur in a bear hug. “Happy birthday, Arthur, and welcome to double digits!”

Arthur let out a little surprised cry as Lance picked him up, then a laugh that wasn't quite as little. “You too, Uncle Lance—wait, I mean—”

“Ah, I know what you mean, it's okay.” Lance released him, and looked up at his nephew. Up, he realized ruefully. “You've finally gotten taller than I have, huh? That's pretty rude of you, y'know....”

“Oh? Sorry—”

“I'm messing with ya, you smarty pants! Grow all you want!” Lance reached up and ruffled the unruly shock of orange-yellow hair that mirrored his own so closely. He wouldn't get too many more chances to ruffle like this, he knew, before the kid inevitably became a beanpole.

“So, what'd you guys get him?” Lance asked, grinning at his sister. “Come on, let's compare gifts. I bet my uncle gift is better, whatcha think?”

Niav groaned and rolled her eyes. “Ugh, uncle gifts.”

“No, not that kind of—look, it doesn't need batteries and it doesn't make loud noise, okay? I'm not that much of a rascal.” Lance backed up enough to grab his gift, then trotted forward, presenting it to his nephew. “I'm not gonna be here all day, so you should open this now.”

Arthur took off the bow, carefully so that the paper didn't rip as the adhesive came off. Then he untied the ribbons with similar caution.

“Jeez, did you raise him in a barn?” Lance whispered to Niav, as Arthur kept going. “Also, seriously, what'd you get him, while we're waiting for an hour. I don't wanna have gotten the same thing as you and made you look like a jackass. Where's the present?”

“Oh, well, the thing about that is....” After a moment, Niav smiled. “Let's just say it's not a physical present. We're taking him on a trip.”

“Good! No chance of overlap.” Lance winked, and then sniffed. “I smell... chocolate? I thought he didn't like chocolate.”

“Kid's gotta try new things, shortstuff.”

“Fair enough, I guess.”

They smiled at Arthur as, finally, he finished unwrapping the box without a single tear in the paper. “Oh, wow,” he said with a look of disbelief, looking at his gift. “What is this?”

“Well,” Lance said, stepping forward, “I've seen you always fiddling with spare parts when you're over at my shop, trying to make stuff. You're a smart kid, and I thought, what's a good gift for smart kids who like making stuff? But then I realized you wouldn't have anywhere to put a spare engine—” he laughed, because this joke was hilarious “—so here's the next best thing!”

Lance drew a finger along the name on the box: “Bionicle! It's like Legos except with joints and axles and motors and stuff, and you can make your own action figures, or vehicles, or whatever you want!” He pointed out a bunch of the examples on the box, and it seemed like Arthur's eyes were literally shining.

“Ooh.” Wayne had come in from the kitchen with oven mitts. “Arthur, now make sure you don't leave those out in the hallway where someone could step on them. Remember to be responsible.”

“Oh, okay,” Arthur said. The light in his eyes died away a bit.

“Shaddup, Wayne, you're ruining his birthday.” Lance put an arm around Arthur, squeezing him close. “So, what do you wanna do while I'm here? Build those action figures? Watch TV? Try booze?”

“Lance!” Niav blurted out.

“Kidding! But seriously, don't listen to these mopers—what do you wanna do, and we'll do it! I'm the fun-uncle. The funcle.”

Arthur hesitated, then leaned in close. “Could we watch,” he whispered, and then hesitated some more, and finally managed to hiss out, “wrestling?”

Lance wiggled his eyebrows. “That's pretty violent, kid. Sure you're up for it?”

Arthur blinked, then shied away. “No, you're right, I shouldn't—”

“I'm kidding, ya big goof! Come on, let's watch some wrestling! Where's the dang remote around here?”

“Lance,” Niav whined again, but Lance ignored her and grabbed the remote from the coffee table. In about half a minute, he found the wrestling channel, and broke into a grin when he saw who was on it.

“Sit down, kid!” he said, and Arthur did with barely restrained eagerness, and heavy rock and roll blasted out from the TV. “This is one of the greatest wrestling legends of all time you're looking at: Hulk Hogan! I'm so glad they got him back.”

“I didn't mean to take up your sweet time,” drawled the barely-tonal voice of Jimi Hendrix as Hogan postured in front of a roaring crowd. “I'll give it right back to ya one of these days.”

“He always wins, isn't that the great thing?” Lance said excitedly as Hogan approached his challenger. “No matter how tight a jam he's in, he always comes out ahead! And the crowd loves him!”

“Everyone loves him!” Arthur replied.

“Damn right they do!”

Lance walked up to the door and knocked three times, his other arm behind his back. After several seconds, it opened to reveal Wayne behind it. He looked forward, then looked down and started. “Oh, Lance! Didn't see you there. How have you been?”

“Pretty well,” Lance said. “Where's Art?”

Wayne frowned. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, I haven't even seen the kid since his birthday, it's been a couple months, and I was thinking I'd check in on how he's enjoying his uncle gift—”

Wayne flinched. Lance squinted, but continued on. “Anyway, I was also thinking, since he liked watching the wrestling so much... ta-dah!” With a flourish he revealed the tickets he'd had behind his back. “Two seats, next Saturday. Not exactly ringside, I don't have that kinda cash, but....”

Oh, now Wayne was definitely wincing. Lance shut up for a few seconds, and then, when Wayne wasn't talking, he said, “What's up with Art?”

“Well, the thing is... he's grounded.”

“Grounded?” Lance's eyebrows flew up his face. “He's a good kid! What'd he get grounded for?”

“Leaving a mess everywhere. It's all month, and that's the same time as your tickets... sorry you wasted the money.”

“Oh. Can I at least chat with—”

Lance tried to step forward, but Wayne held out an arm. It was actually higher than Lance's head, and he could have squeezed under it, but he stopped anyway. “Sorry,” Wayne said, “but he's grounded.”

Lance made a “tch” noise. “You guys are too hard on him, y'know that?”

Wayne sighed. “It's part of raising a responsible kid. You'd know that if you were a parent.”

“Maybe, maybe.... I hope he at least had fun on his birthday trip.”

The look on Wayne's face suggested that Lance had suddenly broken into Klingon, or something. “The birthday trip?” Lance added, prodding. “The one that he got for his birthday from you guys rather than, like, a computer game or something?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, that. He had a blast. See you later.”

Without further ceremony, the door was closed in Lance's face. He almost sputtered with indignation, but took a deep breath and turned around instead, and started walking off their front steps back to his pickup. I only see the kid some of the time, they have to live with him—maybe they know something I don't?

But how bad a mess could one kid make, to get grounded?

And then Lance was grounded, too, because lost as thought as he was, he didn't notice he was walking straight into Wayne and Niav's trash cans. He stumbled to the ground as the trash can fell over, vomiting its contents onto the grass.

Lance grunted in indignation and pushed himself up; then he started picking up stuff from the ground, and putting it back into the trash can. One big bag with tomato sauce, one filled with paper, one box of Bionicles—

Lance stopped and stared. Then he took the box, which had been taped shut, and ripped it open. It was bulging in places, which were revealed to be where various creations on the inside pressed against the cardboard.

He squinted: these were really creative designs. Arthur had clearly put a lot of time into them. Who had thrown them out?

It had been another six months, the next time Lance knocked on that door. This time he wasn't alone.

Niav opened up, and first looked at the fellow next to Lance, and asked, “Who are you?” Then she noticed Lance, a bit further down, and her face broke into a smile. “Oh, hi, Lance!”

“Hi there! How's my least favorite sister doing?” Lance smiled. Well, his teeth were visible, at least.

“Ugh, this again,” Niav groaned.

“And since you asked, might I introduce my buddy Paul Irmand? We're drinking buddies after work.”

Paul nodded respectfully. “Good to meet you, Mrs. Kingsman. Might we come in?”

“What are you, a PI?” Niav asked it, and then giggled. “You know, because your initials....”

“Well, I will admit I'm dressed for the part,” Paul said, glancing down at his dress shirt, tie, and slacks—and the briefcase in his hand. “So people do tend to assume that. And you know what?” He winked. “They're right. P.I. the private eye.”

Niav laughed. “You're not here to see Arthur, are you? He's not back from school—”

“Nah, we're not here to see Arthur, yet.” Lance pushed past her into the house, and sprawled on the couch. “Can you get Wayne? We've got a yarn to spin, we know you'll both love it.”

String them along, he thought, feeling his shaking muscles and willing them to calm down. It was like he was filled with electricity, desperate for a chance to ground itself.

“Lance, is that your voice I hear?” said Wayne from the kitchen. He walked in wearing oven mitts. “There's a quiche in the oven, but it won't be ready for who is that?” he blurted, pointing his whole mitted hand at Paul.

Paul inclined his head. “Paul Irmand, PI. Profession and initials. Your wife loved that joke. May I sit down?” He'd been respectfully standing next to one of the chairs. Once Wayne nodded, he took a seat.

“Anyway,” Wayne said, “what's the visit for? It's a bit out of the blue.”

“Well, I thought I could introduce some of my favorite people to each other! Just never got the chance because, well, work.” Lance laughed and clapped Niav on the shoulder—she'd sat next to him on the sofa, with Wayne opposite the coffee table from Paul. “Not even my work so much as his! Do you know how many hours this guy puts in?”

“Hours and hours,” Paul answered, nodding solemnly. “This one case has been taking up a lot of my time, these past six months.”

“Right, right!” Lance said, waving his arm in vague recognition, as if he didn't immediately know what Paul was talking about. “That, uh, that kid, right?”

“The kid.” Paul frowned. “Someone gave me a tip that said they thought a kid they knew was being abused. He wasn't sure, and he said that in the best case scenario the child would be fine and he'd look like a fool. But he had to make sure. So he offered to pay full price for my services, or even more, but of course, I gave him a discount.”

“Ah, shouldn't do that, Paul! It's bad business!” Lance laughed again, a bit louder than necessary. “Anyway, tell em what happened.”

“What I did was, I set up a stakeout. Got some cameras going. All legal, though it's a bit hard to make sure sometimes—you've got to know the law quite thoroughly as a private eye. And, lady and gentlemen, I'm sorry to announce,” Paul said, his voice growing solemn, “that there was bad stuff going on in that household. Things no kid should go through.”

Niav shivered. “Oh, we would never do that to our Arthur.”

“Who said anything about Arthur?” Lance felt his facial expression blurring the line between grin and grimace.

“So what happened?” Wayne said, leaning forward. “Did you get the kid out?”

Paul shook his head. “Actually, that case is still ongoing. But I hope to get it resolved very soon. Would you like to see some of the photos?”

“Isn't that illegal or something?” Niav asked with an uneasy frown. “I don't think we should....”

“Oh, I insist.” With utterly calm motions—Lance had always admired his friend's cool head—Paul opened his briefcase, pulled out a folder, and opened it quite deliberately. Like Arthur with his present, Lance thought, and suppressed and uncalled-for laugh.

Finally, he pulled out the first photo. It was a very specific house.

Wayne stared at it for several seconds before comprehension started dawning in his eyes. “Wait a second. This is our house.”

Paul kept on pulling out pictures, taken surreptitiously through windows and open doors. A child with shockingly orange hair, sitting in his room for what seemed to be days at a time. That same child, crying in a corner of the living room, as Wayne taped up a box of his toys to throw out.

“And this one,” Paul said, pulling out the last photo, “is from when you two went on vacation and left him alone in the house over a long weekend.  Alone with no babysitter, and debatably enough food.”

He looked up at the two of them, as they stared motionless at the array of photographic evidence laid down on the coffee table. It was as if he'd been pulling out the head of Medusa, and they'd been turned to stone. “Did you know that it is illegal to leave a child alone for that long, and what the maximum prison sentence is?”

They didn't answer, and just continued gaping. For the first time, Paul's expression erred from one of respectful politeness—just a slight inclination of the eyebrows. “Did you even realize that what you were doing was wrong?”

Finally Niav found a voice. “But—but—are you kidding me!? This isn't abuse, this is—this is parenting, you jackass!” She snatched up the photos, as if to steal them—as if there weren't copies back at Paul's office. “This is teaching him to be a responsible kid!”

Lance found his arm shaking. “Responsible,” he repeated. “You neglect your kid and you call it responsible.” With difficulty, he took a deep breath. “Niav, you're my sister, and I used to love you. So here's my final act of brotherly consideration. We've made it easy for you.”

Paul withdrew another folder from his briefcase, this one labeled Legal Documents. “What we've brought,” Lance said, as Paul pulled out the documents in question, “are all the forms you need to sign to give up custody of Arthur to me. It'll take you five minutes, and the kid you clearly don't want is gonna be out of your life. You can get back to... cooking, or partying, or whatever the hell it is you do while you're neglecting him.”

Lance took another deep breath. “That's the easy way. The hard way is, we take this to the cops. We have a long court battle, which you're gonna lose, and you go to prison for a good long time. You know how most prisoners aren't fond of people who mess with kids?”

“You assholes!” Niav stood up, her face enraged. “You think you can just walk into my house and take my kid?”

She swung at Lance. This was a mistake.

Lance moved automatically, grabbing her arm and kicking her leg, slamming her down into the coffee table. “Give me another reason,” he hissed, pinning her back with his other arm, using leverage to keep her immobile even with his much lighter weight. “Give me another reason because Christ help me, I've been looking for one.”

Niav laughed without humor. “You think you'll be any better a parent than we are, short stuff?” She struggled under his grip, but he held firm. “Think you're any better at holding together a family after what happened with Vera, you midget hypocrite?”

Before Lance could react—or rather, before his body could, as Lance wasn't sure any conscious thought would be involved—he felt Paul's hand on his shoulder. “Don't, Lance,” he said firmly. “What you're doing here is self-defense. She attacked first, that's fine. If you take it any further... don't give her a leg to stand on in court. That's all she wants.”

Niav spat into the documents her face was pressed against.

Lance let her go. “So, what do you say, least favorite sister? How do you want to do this?”

The forms were signed by three o'clock, at which point the door creaked open.

“I'm home,” Arthur called out at half-volume, and then he saw the four of them seated around the coffee table. His eyes widened. The kid wasn't stupid, and the air here was so thick with tension you could crash a car into it. He knew something was wrong.

“Uncle Lance,” he mumbled. “What are you doing here? And who's he?”

Paul smiled, and crouched down to Arthur's eye level. “Paul Irmand. I'm a friend of Lance's. Nice to meet you.” He put his hand out, which Arthur shook uncertainly.

“So,” Arthur said, “what are you doing... here?” He almost swallowed the last word.

Lance felt himself in a similar predicament, with his words stuck in his throat. Breaking the news to his... to Niav, that had been one thing. How to break this to someone he cared about?

Unfortunately, he took too long. “We were talking, your uncle and I,” Niav said sweetly, “and we decided that you should live with him now. Because you're too much trouble around here.” Her sweetness was like one of those candies from urban legends about Halloween—a sweet with a razor blade hidden inside.

Arthur looked down, punctured. “Um... okay? Okay.”

Lance felt Paul's hand on his shoulder again. He didn't need the reminder. Provocation. “Arthur,” he said, “go to your room and gather all your things. I'll help you carry them out. Okay?”

Arthur nodded and walked, dumbly, to his room—like a robot, told to obey without really understanding the instruction. It had to be a lot to process.

Lance glared venom at his sister, who smiled back. “You're not even trying to hurt him anymore, are you?” he spat. “You don't even care that much about Art. You're just using the child as some kind of voodoo doll, because you know I care.”

Niav winked. “Have fun with family life, short stuff.”

By the time Lance was done seething, they'd gathered all of Arthur's things in a bunch of boxes Lance had brought, and he and Paul had hauled them to the bed of his pickup. Paul shook Arthur's hand again before leaving in his own car, leaving Lance and Arthur together.

Not for the first time, Lance wished he was taller. It was harder to physically comfort someone who, well, dwarfed him, but he gave the tightest hug he could to Arthur anyway. “Uncle Lance,” Arthur asked, not hugging back. “What are you doing?”

“Arthur, listen to me,” he said. “You're a genius. You're better than both of those scumbags. And you are gonna have a great life.”

“Um... okay?” Arthur awkwardly patted him on the back.

“And one more thing,” he said, reaching up to his car door. “Because the last time I tried this, it got messed up, so....”

He yanked open his car door. Inside was the box of Bionicles that had been in the trash. “Happy birthday, Art.”

Arthur froze for a few seconds. Then he ran forward and grabbed the box, and tore open the cardboard, and pulled out all the things he’d created. Clutching two of them, he looked up at Lance, tears forming in his eyes.

Arthur looked at the car underside, situated four inches from his face, and tried not to imagine what would happen if he licked it. Nevertheless, the taste and texture crawled onto his tongue, into his head. He scraped his tongue with his teeth, as if he'd actually done it.

You said I forgave you, and you were wrong. But you’ve said, over and over, that you were sorry. And now I think that’s wrong too.

He chuckled: the intrusive thoughts were getting so crowded up in his belfry, he'd need to institute some sort of number system like at the DMV. He kept working as Lewis's voice echoed in his head, pretending he didn't hear—like he'd pretended these past several days.

And I wish I knew how to show you that you don’t have to be sorry, that you deserve better. But if you’ve done anything this past year to hurt me, to hurt anyone? Then I forgive you.

“Why,” Arthur mouthed, as his raised arm sagged from the car.

Because... it hurts. You see your own hands, hurting the people you love…. I just want it to stop hurting.

That was the fun thing about replaying conversations in your head, over and over and over. You got to come up with the perfect comeback.

But you're wrong, he thought, watching Lewis reunite with his family through the lens of a car-bottom. You don't understand, because when your hands were gonna hurt them... you stopped it.

“Art?” said Lance's voice from somewhere behind and above him.

He lifted up his metal arm and examined it, noticing the scratches and scuffs with disinterest.

“Earth to Art, you awake?”

He blinked and, for just the space of a moment—the moment his eyes were closed—it turned fleshy, and dark green.

“Dammit, Art, are you listening or not? This is important!”

Arthur jumped, or at least he jumped as much as a prone man could. He's catching on.

It had been a few days since Arthur's confessions about Lewis's return, and Lance had looked increasingly troubled each day. Arthur could guess what was bothering him: Arthur himself. Goodness knew he'd been acting unfairly morose, and Lance would probably prefer having him around if he were more chipper.

“Come on, I know you can hear me.”

“Yeah, Lance?” he replied, injecting an emergency supply of energy into his voice. His eyes didn't waver from the car-guts above him, or the metal hand in front of them.

Whose car was this, even? Somewhere in the last few days, he'd lost count. Did a robotic arm on an assembly line keep track of which car it was working on? His certainly hadn't.

“Good, you can hear me. Well, I've got a job for you.”

“Really? Sure, let me—”

“But first, well, uh....” Arthur heard what sounded like Lance scratching his brow. “I've got a confession to make.”

“Oh? Neat!” He picked up a wrench and tried loosening a nut above him, hoping this sounded like an eager silence instead of a disinterested one. How did you make a silence sound different, anyway?

“Y'know,” Lance finally said, after maybe ten seconds, “this is usually the point where you say something like, 'Oh, Lance, you finally admit you're secretly a wrestler', or something.”

Arthur forced a laugh. “Yeah, eh. I just kinda felt the joke was getting old. Beating a dead horse, you know? Not very funny any—”

The creeper he was lying on got yanked out from beneath the car, and Arthur stared up at his uncle.

His uncle, dressed in shiny yellow spandex.

[leonmckennedy]

me: im gonna write out this scene from a future fic that i cant get out of my head. it’ll be quick, its fine

me, 1400 words later: fuck

contains: prompto | noctis + a smooch or two. it’s like, brotherhood esque

theres a ref here to this one fic which is like, the best fic ive ever read

by the time the credits start to roll, prompto has nearly forgotten they were even watching a movie. prompto had made some offhand comment, something about a chocobo that was present in an earlier scene, and that caused noctis to snort and say something snarly, and that sparked the sudden conversation they’re having now.

the movie itself is of no consequence; it’s a mediocre movie they’ve seen many, many times together that it was only really on due to how familiar it was — and there’s some voice in prompto, something equally anxious and excited, that’s amazed he’s such friends with the crown prince now that they have a comfort movie— so, really, the movie managing to run it’s course while they argue about the sizes of monsters isn’t special at all.

unlike prompto, who’s all wild gestures and noises, noctis is rather still when he talks. it’s probably because of his seemingly perpetual drowsiness, with the current late time undoubtedly feeding into it. where noctis was facing him before, making faces at prompto and laughing whenever he said something particularly outlandish, now he’s leaning heavily into prompto’s side, head falling to land on the blond’s shoulder.

for a moment, prompto can only think of how warm noctis is.

“...i don’t get you at all,” noct says, voice amused even though he sounds like he’s suppressing a yawn. “i mean, you’re usually wrong about stuff like this, but never this wrong.”

prompto manages a huff. “i’m offended. a behemoth sized chocobo wouldn’t be scary at all. in fact, the bigger the bird, the more to love.”

“okay yeah, but we were talking about fighting. and i can guarantee you wouldn’t want to fight a chocobo the size of a behemoth.”

“dude. a giant chocobo could crush me with their giant feet and i’d thank them, probably.”

noctis laughs, a low chuckle that prompto can feel rumble through his body. noct moves, probably intending to push him or something equally terrible, but doesn’t seem to have the energy for it. instead he ends up shifting, depositing more of his weight into prompto’s side instead. prompto feels… well, he isn’t sure how to feel about it yet, besides of it being nice.

“alright, so let me make sure i got this right: you’d rather face a behemoth-sized chocobo, than a chocobo-sized behemoth, because you’re certain you’ll manage train the giant chocobo to not kill you.”

“having a giant pet chocobo is my new dream.”

“you’re so dumb, prom.”

prompto starts to say something in response but noctis shifts again, reaching for one of the blankets that became disheveled in their argument, and prompto ends up just… watching. he notices belatedly that the credits have completely finished rolling and the screen is blank now, the screen defaulting to the movie’s menu. so it’s late, and it’s quiet — thus, a certain type of hush falls over them. it’s something warm and comforting, not unlike the blanket that noctis proceeds to bundle around the both of them. all ridiculous conversations aside, it’s been a great night. no class tomorrow, homework either finished or left for another day when it’s more urgent.

right now it’s just them, and while prompto sits there in a deep silence slightly uncharacteristic for him, he lets it wash over him. he’s probably never been this content in his life. if noctis would look at him now, he’d probably see the dopest smile of prompto’s face, and then prompto would have to be forced to joke off his friend’s teasing. as it is, however, noctis is looking away, eyes half open and staring blankly at a spot on the blanket. his face is obscured a bit by his hair — because his fringe is growing, because prompto can’t remember the last time noctis has gotten his hair cut at all — so prompto can’t see his expression. but his hands are gripping the blankets, and he’s still besides the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes.

unbidden, the thought that noctis is really cute passes through. prompto doesn’t ignore it, per se, but he tries his damndest to squash the urge to grab his camera and snap a shot.

they continue in comfortable silence for a bit. prompto is ready to ask noctis if he’s fallen asleep already when the prince speaks himself. “hey… prompto.”

“yah?”

noctis opens his mouth but then closes it again, exhaling through his nose. prompto can feel the action. can feel it, clearly, when noct turns his head to bury his face in prompto’s neck, breathes against his skin. prompto bites back a surprised gasp, swallows hard.

“noct…?”

“sorry,” noctis says, doesn't move. “you’re just…. warm. it’s nice.”

funny, it’s what prompto has been thinking this whole time. noctis is so warm and calm by his side, prompto thinks that they could fall asleep like this. together, bundled up, with each other. it makes prompto’s stomach flutter.

“you’re just trying to use me as a pillow, aren’t you?”

“maybe.” the word is nothing but a breath against prompto’s skin. prompto shivers slightly. “maybe not a pillow but….something.”

something?

“you’re just the snuggle monster tonight, then.”

noctis shakes his head slightly and looks up at him then, completely and fully. their faces are close, and noctis’ sleepy blues have a particular shine to them. prompto swallows again and noctis follows the bob of his throat, watches his jaw, trails back up to prompto’s lips. like a built in response prompto darts his tongue out to lick them and noctis watches that too, copies the action himself.

“prom.”

“yeah?”

“kiss me?”

it sounds like a suggestion, a question, and a command all at once. there’s a bit in his mind that, while chugging to process what’s happening, asks how this is possible. is this what their relationship is? was? a split second, spent watching the anticipation in noctis’ eyes, isn’t enough to find a suitable conclusion; or any, really, that wouldn't make him scream in embarrassment. however that voice inside that screams at him, that bit that’s half anxiety and half bad decision making, nags at the edge of his self-restraint and then he’s nodding, a slightly jerky movement.

noctis leans in, and prompto meets him halfway. it’s a pretty chaste kiss, probably lasts not even five seconds. noct’s lips are soft, and when they part noctis is looking at his, head tilted as if to consider them.

the nerves start to tug at prompto almost immediately and he laughs, pitch a little higher than he’d like. “h-how was that?”

noctis blinks. “good.” and then: “one more?”

prompto nods, a little too quickly, and leans in again. the second kiss last twice as long, still pretty chaste. prompto’s hands, slightly shaky, has found themselves on noctis’ arms, holding firmly. his lips move against noctis’ and he’s suddenly not thinking much at all. soft. warm.

noctis pulls away first with a strange sound, and prompto shakes, opens his mouth to start stumbling out an apology because wow, maybe he managed to mess something up, but noctis places a hand over his. shaking his head, noctis simply settles back against prompto’s shoulder, face slightly buried. they fall into silence again, just for a moment.

“was… was that good?”

noctis doesn’t answer immediately. he closes his eyes, breathes in, out. “it was.”

prompto feels heat in his head, shakes it slightly as if that could help clear his thoughts. everything feels so warm it’s almost smothering. “do you wanna do that again? i mean, i wouldn’t be mad if you did. wanna kiss, that is. again.”

noctis shakes his head against prompto’s neck and prompto feels his stomach begin to drop. it’s like a weight suddenly sliding down his chest with the sudden fear. he’s going to lose something, something soft and decidedly lazy that he didn't think was even an option until just now and he tries to quell the disappointment. noctis, as if sensing his distress, grabs his hand and holds it firmly. in a moment he’s lying fully on prompto, eyes closed, and his uncontrollable yawn soothes prompto’s nerves. or maybe it’s just from the way he rubs his thumb against prompto’s fingers, back and forth, soft.

“i just… wanna sleep, now…”

“oh. bedtime?”

noct yawns again, muffled against the blanket and his friend’s shoulder. “bedtime.”

though prompto is sure sleeping in a position like this will just cause him embarrassment and a terrible crick in the neck by morning, he let’s it happen. he doesn’t hazard getting up to find the television remote, or another blanket, or any other excuse he would try to think of any other day. noctis, asleep almost instantly after his declaration, is a solid weight against him, warm. comforting. and with the light of the television, blue and almost humming against the otherwise dark room, lures him to sleep.

[sheencko]

mr. moreau

an unfinished scrap of a novel i am not sure ill continue

i can see it its a diamond with the crossroads its white borders from my cracked window up here

i ‘ave to get that fixed)—  just below the fog (the fog is low today)

—and its on top of the street that was just painted

oh yesterday or maybe the day before that

or something,

i think

black as my genevieve’s ‘air

two bodies crisscrossed atop of each other and splattered like paint on a black canvas, a pollack of angry reds and i cant see their face cause theyve been ravaged by the hard concrete and im so high up looking down like a dreamer into a field of rye and i shudder because oh, how painful is that but i also suppose,

when youre fallin i guess you only feel the woosh of the wind under you and maybe your soul leaves your body before your body breaks into a million teeny tiny pieces and everything inside you that youve ever dreamed flows out of you like a bucket tipping over onto a tile floor—maybe

maybe its a perpetual fear and youre trapped inside a perpetual cycle of mind numbing terror because youre falling to your doom and you regret that your feet left the edge in the first place and maybe, maybe you shoulda called your mom and then told her that you loved her one last time or apologized to the man that you bumped into while you were hurrying home yesterday and the tears are flying from your face ‘cause you can see them surrounding your grave wearin nothing but black and your father is silent but a kind of silent youve never seen before and in that second you can just SEE him taking the same path you are and then

maybe the fear grips your limbs like god coming down and punishing you but all you feel is a childish sort of aversion an “i dont wanna” cause you dont wanna—you dont wanna die cause you have so so much to live for and youre cryin to some big fat man up in the sky but whats he gonna do? he cant stop you

but i wouldn’ know but i took the elevator and went down to look at the scene anyway cause we’re all drawn to the misfortune of others anyway like nothing more than moths having an orgy on a blue flame

mr. steinway was next to me in the elevator; he lived on the 13th floor and i on the 12th i saw him smoking up on the roof sometimes. he was a gentleman by any other name, except the part where his wife left him cause hed been caught with a particularly young mistress but i suppose that didnt matter because he played ravel’s jeux d’eau like no one else in the world could and maybe he played her body like that homonymous six figure grand he has, who knows

his face was wrinkled and ugly but the melodies he played were smooth and beautiful so who cared about his damn visage i guess

“oh, mister moreau,” and for that matter, his voice wasnt particularly musical either

“steinway, are you heading down to see what happened?”

“arent we all,” he chuckled like the deaths were a funny little joke he had made up,

“i think i’ll stop by the grocery store”

“is that so?” he spoke like a conductor introducing a symphony to an ignorant audience and he was just trying to find a way to relive his days of performing inside carnegie hall’s stern auditorium because all he performed in now was his empty apartment, we around ‘im the unwilling listeners. he silently watched the floor numbers count down on the bar above the elevator doors 10 9 8 7 “i ‘aven’t been there lately.” he finally said like he had wondered how to talk without being offensive while still showing his pockets were full of gold.

dick, i thought 4 5

and waited and 2 1 and the doors opened.

our doorman greeted us. he was a fine fellow and i talked with him when it was too awkward for silence. he had a prized son about to head off to columbia on some scholarship or another and his younger daughter was expected to follow in his shoes. his mother was bedridden his dad dead and apparently he made a great deal of money working as a valet for the most expensive hotel in the city on the weekends. he liked the color orange and his ties were sometimes tied with a different knot because his daughter liked to practice on him. for lunch he preferred a simple tomato and mozzarella panini from the cafe a few blocks away but occasionally he partook in the pita bread and hummus that mrs. tomadakis on the fourth floor gave him and he always always despised it when someone moved the rug in front of the door. i didnt know his name.

“another suicide, huh?” he gave me a warm smile and mr. steinway a slightly cooler one

he said ‘another’ because it had been the eighth one this month and we were only fourteen days into it and silently, slowly we found ourselves heading towards a point of numb disassociation—when one person committed suicide it was all over the news like mr. steinway’s scandal and you learned their birthday, their name, their age,

every tiny detail of they had been, the sorrow of their friends and family,

and everything that happened between the day that they they came into the world and the day they left

and the people reacted with horror, the parents apologized to their kids and the kids to their parents, and the grief counselors opened their doors to those who had lost someone in a similar fashion and had to relive the memory through someone else’s eyes and maybe a wide-eyed girl holdin the blade to her small wrist told herself not today, not today

but of course, thats me being optimistic

sometime after the third suicide all that popped up was a name and a vague somethingorother reason they lit themselves on fire or shot themselves in the ‘ead or something and then a frown from the casters, maybe a tinge of sympathy entered their tone but then 10 seconds passed and they forgot because this was all part of a trend that would end. the people talked about the suicides in hushed tones but now the conservations were turning into a more questioning again? and a response of yeses and then it tended to be never discussed again because hey it didnt involve us anyhow

so the nameless bodies started to pile up one on top of each other and i knew the faces and names of maybe three or four but no more.

i nodded to him. “troubling,” i said, because what else could i say

“yes, definitely. my wife had me turn off the news last night because she was so… distressed at all the incidents lately” the doorman replied and there was a hint of something unknown when he said it. nonetheless he turned to the man next to me because his priorities were his own “I heard your playing the other day, mr. steinway. marvelous as always,” he said, voice turned slick because steinway gave good tips. he couldn’t hear anything from all the way on the 1st floor of course

mr. steinway looked chuffed, a prizewinning cock who fought with all the other roosters. “the debussy or the khachaturian?”

“the khachaturian, of course. i always find myself partial to the contemporary—“ the doorman said in an inviting tone to begin an conversation that would undoubtedly net him a few more dollars or maybe a lot more next week—

“interesting!” steinway murmured in that hushed tone since discussion of classical music was clearly some covert operation that no one was supposed to know about. i walked outside into the cool fall air knowing that they would be stuck there for a good ten minutes or more and noticed that the crowd around the two corpses in the middle was gone already and the first thing i wondered was not who they were but rather if dear genevieve had heard the news

there is a photographer standing by the bodies with her big old camera snap snap and she looks up and stares at me staring at her she stands up and i notice that the bottom of her pants have been scuffed by the road she smiles at me without dusting herself off,

“hello!” she was too cheery for the death in front of her “do you live here?” she is the only one out here and the world feels strangely empty

“yes, i” i pointed to the clean, modern building to the left “live just over there,”

she looked at me up and down up and down “you wouldn’t know these people would you?” no i wouldnt

“no” her face fell but then it rose again as she stuffed a card into my clammy hand and the bracelets on her hand jangled and she grinned at me with white teeth but the front two were crooked as if someone ‘ad taken a pair of pliers to them and her brown ‘air was messy, her skin lighter than mine—“i was just wondering since no one seems to know who they are” (she spoke in a rush like she was breathless) and i finally start to wonder indeed, who they are because even as corpses their hands are entwined together “i’m” and now that im down here i can see the fine details in their “photographer, i” faces and the one on the left has that dead fish look in their dark eyes and the eyes are wide open and theyre staring into “crime scenes” my very soul and i wonder if theyre blaming me for my being complicit in their deaths because i too heard the news and did nothing but “ive been in the news” my hands are shaking and i think i couldnt have done anything because i didnt know but something jabs me — a maybe i did know because i too heard the news and passed by disinterested “but i also do” and im staring back at them and theyre staring back at me in a staring contest that i know i will lose “family portraits, anything you need basically” and the one on the rights eyes are closed and the part of their face that isnt all burst open and spilling onto the floor has a tender charm and their lips are fixed in what seems like a peaceful smile but im thinking no there is no way that could be peaceful and oh “call the number if” their ‘ands are all so small if i could just have grabbed those before they jumped maybe id be staring at an empty black canvas instead of a grotesque exhibit of all that we ‘ave done wrong

work title:

artist:

medium: human on concrete

[ts-nightingaleislands]

Episode #10- “Is Cheatham actually high regularly or is it just a figment of his imagination?”- Sara

that was such a HARD tribal for me. i loved having noah on my side and stuff but also i know he would be one of the ppl to make a big move on me if he stayed . its getting harder and harder for each vote . i just gotta stay focused and hope my alliance stays strong another round or two . tumblr survivor gods i hope your pulling for me!

Austin and Vincent have to be testing me. I dont get why Austin is playing dumb with me or why he act like he didn't know. According to Vincent Austin was in on it. I mean regardless I know who Im just wanting to stick with but yeah, the weird jumped out. Cheatham is also saying this was a week or so then went MIA so thats cool

(LATER)

Austin and Vincent are coming off super sketchy. I mean it is nothing new with Austin, but Vincent oof. I dont mind it all that much because of who I prefer to go with, but it is interesting. If these guys are coordinated then, well, seems uncoordinated

(LATER)

So right now Austin, Cheatham, and Vincent have added me to a chat I guess to work together. I actually worry I am not Natalie Anderson, but Sierra Dawn Thomas Worlds Apart. Nonetheless, I think its smart for me to wait til F7 or so to make the move against Austin/Cheatham. I can't allow enough time to pass for the idol to bite me in my butt!

(LATER)

I now see that Austin probably thinks he can manipulate me, so I have to time when I vote him perfectly. Him feigning ignorance on the Noah vote tells me he likely feels I'm naive enough to believe him and hey people do prefer to keep the ones around they feel are lesser than themselves!

(LATER)

Ive had a change of heart- I think now Kyle is going to get dragged by people, however, I strongly believe he would choose me over anyone so its just a matter of navigating 6 tribals

Inane ramblings from Vincent's cf, dated 3 AM on December 26, formatted terribly bc this cf is dated 3:06 AM on December 26: >i'm looking ahead to the future >austin is likely going to want liam out >bc when he said he wanted to make a move he'd have to mean one of them >them being liam/am/sara >and as far as i can tell liam is being perceived as the glue >so if he goes then am/sara become lone wolves who are easier to manipulate >however if liam stays then the other one, maybe am, is linked with them and they will be mad at austin for doing this >so those are numbers on our side >my previous boot order (EDITOR'S NOTE: never discussed in a cf, but will be discussed at length later) changed due to the unexpected development that austin is willing to flip on his group >however i'll note now that there is a very good chance he's faking >although if he is i can't imagine why he'd put his true allies in such blatant danger when kyle is literally right there as a vote >*person to vote >so let's say 5-3 vote up next >me/cheatham/austin/chris/kyle all against liam's trio >ideally voting out sara >bc she is the messiest and the one i trust least >my goal will be to convince the others that this is the best vote >liam and i are good and he is my decoy f2 >too early for goat stuff but am is a better goat than sara imo >just keeping my options open >liam/cheatham/annmarie could easily each be in my f2 >but not in a "ideal f4" way >so if austin is with me for this vote then he should at least appear to establish further connections with me >he can't do anything without one of chris and cheatham >or kyle i guess >kyle is easily the most expendable of those 3 >so to limit austin's options we need to vote kyle >we >my old boot order is more or less the same >just kyle vote goes from getting austin's trust back to weakening him >then at f6 cheatham chris and i stick together >vote out am unless liam becomes dark horse threat >f5 austin goes >f4 chris >f3 liam >then maybe i win >wow this seems so real >like usually in orgs when i'm at the merge im like'well maybe it's still possible that i could maybe end up at the ftc but lmao imagine getting votes' >oh no i'm becoming overconfident >wow meeting noah in jury again is going to be awkward huh No matter how I place this is honestly one of my better confessionals. Either full of dramatic irony and I look stupid or I win and I look good. One outcome is significantly more likely than the other, of course. But neither isn't so bad, is it?

God I feel this challenge is gonna stir up so much shit! I just hope my target dont get bigger because of it.

Where I stand now is that Austin is very willing to have Kyle go this round quote unquote, but what is to say he may not actually want somebody else? It is interesting seeing him discuss his perception and everything. I guess he cannot help but try to downplay himself, but I feel the ship has sailed for him and now it is only a matter of time. Watch him pull a W

(LATER)

I can't wait for someone to get offended by this Touchy Subjects challenge. I know I won't. If anything, I'll just adapt with it! I also feel like now, it's important to see how AnnMarie and Sara handle things from here on out- either they're willing to try and go for Austin/Cheatham/Vincent, or they'll settle for Kyle. If this happens to go the way I think, I may end up as a potential swing in F7, but I sure as heck am not about to be like Miss Sarah Lacina Cop-Turned-Criminal in Cagayan. No Ma'am! I'm not ever feeling safe until I'm sitting in the Final 2

(LATER)

So Austin asks me for a name and I am like ok I dont mind if it is Kyle unless you guys are up to do someone else. Austin proceeds to say he wants to have options and just wants a name and I'm. It really feels like a bit of a bait just to go to X to say I said their name. I could be wrong but its just weird becaise I haven't heard him say a name yet

(LATER)

Austin! Do not think that Ive forgotten your leaky faucet ways! Like that's the odd thing about it- Austin has shown what he is capable of and it is just weird of him to press about this when I know he has lied to me before. Like right now I literally told him I am fine with anyone going and his response was to know who I actually want out. I really don't know what he wants me to say other than a name to implicate myself but nuh uh! Not I!

(LATER)

The way it looks, I can make the move to get Liam out but I highly doubt I will last much longer. All it will take after that is to say Chris did X lets do him  and so I want to try and wait at least to chat to Kyle. I also want to see how willing AnnMarie and Sara are willing to talk about this vote instead of waiting. I definitely do not want Cheatham/Austin/Vincent all in F6 or at worse F5 however that is easier said than done for this lot

Wowza, Cheatham is playing hard now. SO, basically the votes are supposed to go 6-2, Chris being voted out. Now I do not wanna go any further with Sara, AM, and Liam bc they will take out me and Austin first. So I talked with Chris and now there is a 4 person alliance with Austin, Me, Chris, and Vincent. Im going to use my idol on Chris and then Chris and Kyle will vote out one of the others. Kyle is a wild card and we don't wanna tell him EXACTLY what's going on because he is kinda crazy. So we are thinking about having Vincent vote with Chris to ensure that one of the others go home. This is yet again ANOTHER big move on my part. Im getting worried that people will think that I'm the biggest threat with MORE idols in my hand and doing all the big moves. All I can do is wait. If I keep winning individual immunity like this week then I'm golden.

I think I've had an epiphany and it took talking to Cheatham to figure it out. Apparently I am the vote for tonight, though he wants to do something I've been wanting Cheatham to do in this merge and that is take advantage of the idol system- in doing so he gains a lot of leverage and I felt disppointed that he wasn't optimizing it. Having that said, I think I got a little sad because he told me people feel like I never give a name and truth be told I don't and it is a mistake on my end. I feel like I'm so scared to say a name because it failed miserably for me in the first half of this game and now that I don't do it anymore, people use it as a reason to vote me out. I do feel like its like I can't win with these people, but I want to change as much as I can to give myself a chance

(LATER)

HI am seeing that Austin, Cheatham, and even Vincent legitimately want to work with me and so perhaps I should consider going with them. The question with this vote is how I do I go about it. I've already named Sara because I have the most reason to do her AND I know Austin/Cheatham lowkey wanted her so its a win win for all of us, but it would be interesting to split it if the idol were used on me. Regardless, I just want this to end greatly for me, be that new start to a Chris that has what it will take to make it to the end and win.

I have...lots of questions right now... Am I being voted out tonight? Wouldn't surprise me. Does AnnMarie have a f2 w/ Austin? Cuz I accidentally caught her in something the other day where she told me she knew Austin was asking others for finals. But it might have been an accident because I mentioned that Austin asked for us 2 in a f3 with him....never said f2. Is Cheatham actually high regularly or is it just a figment of his imagination? Why do people get weird and quiet when they're planning a blindside or change loyalties? I literally brought this up to Liam last night a while after results. Gwen/Rizo/Chris did this exact same thing. It's Survivor. Lie and make a move if you have to. I'd respect that a whole lot more. Ignoring people is just shit jury management and I'll totally call Cheatham out at tribal now if I go! At least Vincent gave me an ANSWER! *Giggle* And also...is Austin actually that nice or is it game? Cuz I lit dunno if I'll ever be able to write his name down if that's really his personality. x)

Cheatham wants to invent a situation in which he would play his idol and gain full access to two others. This really feels like a resume padding thing more than a legitimate move out of necessity, because we have the numbers to vote out our target now, and there's no reason that would change any time soon. To me, this solidifies that Cheatham really can't make it to the end, just like Austin. Ideally I want to be able to choose between Liam and Chris because I think I have an ok shot against them both, and it's reasonable for both of them to make it very far. Of course it's the final 8 so it's still way too early to think about the end, but I definitely can't take Austin or Cheatham with me bc they both have a good shot at winning against me.

Sara me and Liam are apparently a strong group so there are plans to usurp our place on the throne! I'm watching a documentary about Queen Elizabeth while writing this. Cheatham apparently wants us gone as well, which hurts. I thought he was with me. I guess not. That is all.

So this round is insane, originally it was gonna be Chris but apparently Cheatham is gonna idol him so we’re having to take out the biggest goat in this game, which is so annoying, but if it must be done to save Sara so I have a shot at making it to the end then so be it. There’s still so much game to play so I need to make the most outta it.

5 votes Kyle (w/ self-vote), 2 votes Sara, 1 vote Chris (negated by idol.)

[diondecarnate]

EXTREMELY LONG rant about Dororo below the cut, all spoilers no context so if u havent seen the 2019 Dororo anime this probs isnt for u but i needed to put all of this somewhere to cope cause bruh

dororo is so good n just so fucking tragic

you have this Asshole of a dude who decides to take the easy way out but also like, if you have all these people under you, relying on you, i think that its kinda understandable to want them to have a prosperous and good life. daigo just went about doing that for 

1- the completley wrong reasons, not to get all Good Place on this but he wanted the land prosperous so that he would have more power, not necessarily so his people would be healthy and well-cared for. I think this is shown in the final few episodes where he carelessly grabs people and horses from the villages, uncaring if he is hurting those left behind. His only focus is on growing and keeping his power. 

and 2- he does it in the completley wrong way, like really?? youre going to go to making a deal with demons? I suppose in the show he does say he exhausted all other options but still,,,,, bruh,,,, you had to have known deep down that this was not gonna end well. daigo is just a complete shithead honestly, and i completley hate him. 

theres definitely a part of me that really wanted Hyakkimaru to kill him at the end, however I do honestly think the end he got was the best one. It made sense given where Hyakkimaru was at at the end of the show, and also I think it doesnt actualy fall into the whole “if i killed you id be just like you!” dumb thing, and instead feels more like he gets ignored in a sense? like, he gets his moment of drama and everything, and of course Hyakkimaru was going to have to deal with him n get closure, but after daigo goes all “bleh just kill me, then i can rule over hell (??? i guess dude)” Hyakkimaru was just like, nah dude, peace n left. It really gave him very little screentime in the end, which is exactly what he deserved. plusssss he didnt seem like he was in v good shape so lets just say he died of “too much realizing i fucking suck as a person” or whatever

Tahomaru.................. bruh even thinking about him makes me wanna fucking cry like... can you imagine being 15 years old and finding out you have a brother you never knew, and that if your brother lives your entire land is (supposedly) going to die. like, Tahomaru is the next leader of this provence, and unlike his terrible father, he actualy cares about his people very deeply. So when given the insane problem of either killing his older brother, or watching all his people suffer, he choses what I think I also would have chosen!! especially at 15 holy shit, he is a teenager being asked to make this fucking terrible choice n it just fully fucking sucks. 

Tahomaru fully deserved better, and I will take every AU that says him n Hyakkimarus moms got the fuck out of there n survived, living on n being able to hang with Hyakkimaru n be bros........................... can u imagine................. doing the forehead thing.............Hyakkimaru is like “another lil bro!! hell yeah dude”................. I cry...................

also Mutsu and Hyogo deserved so much better oh my GOD the number one crying scene for me was that one like theyre all like TEENAGERS!!!!!! and theyre all fighting n then these TEENAGERS fucking DIE!!!!!!!! like theyre Tahumaros friends and seeing him grieve for them......... it broke me dude........ even if those three were kinda out of it on demon energy at the time,,, theyre doing their best.......

also real quick i cannot believe they got me attached to a horse so quick only to just as quickly make me cry over it like fuckin rapidash was so good n she just wanted to get back to her kid and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

ok so now that scene im gonna be bitter about forever, like yea sure i GUESS given their personalities, and assuming Tahomaru was dying already with no hope of survival, i can see why they all just stayed in the burning fuckin building. I can even accept Nui (bio mom) staying behind. She had very big sad energy the whole series, and especially that episode was so gd depressed, and with her younger son dying on the floor. I think she was right to go to him (for once,,,, like i get one of her kids got sacrificed to demons n shit n thats super sad but ur just gonna ignore the other one?? also bad!!!) so i think her doing that was actualy a very nice gesture, and closed that up nicely.

 But Jukai???????????????? what the fuck dude!!! get the fuck out of there!!! Theres no reason he shoulda stayed, besides his whole self sacrificing thing n i guess??? he decided thats what the goddess of mercy wanted???????? him to do???????? for some reason?????/ like if it had been daigo, sure that woulda made sense. but what the fuck??? Jukai kinda just felt like he died just to make that scene more sad, n felt super unnecessary. 

ESPECIALLY since the last ep we saw him in at the end he had like regained his will to live!!!!!!!!! hence why the ghoul went after him!!!!!! it was explicitly stated that he got that back!!!!!! so why the fuck did he just throw that in the trash at the end there???? the only thing i can think of is him not wanting to leave Nui alone which like.............. I???? Guess?????????? but also no????? just fucking go and be with ur kid dude, what the fuck. 

THEN theres Hyakkimaru just fucking bouncing after all that, no goodbye or anything just fuckin leaves Dororo which feels absolutely wild and kinda ooc, like ok......... hes going........ on a journey..... of self discovery................................................. then what was the whole series about?????? i guess in the original manga n such he left at the end, but it was for a completley different reason that actualy made sense n didnt feel so... weird n tbh kinda forced,,,,,,, but ahh whatever the last shot of them meeting again when they were older was cute so i guess thats,,, fine,,,,

I really fuckin loved this anime, the way they portray Hyakkimaru before hes gained any bits back, and as he slowly gains them over the series, is very good imo. they coulda easily been like “yea he can talk now!! so he can just fully talk cause weird magic :)” but instead we get to see Hyakkimaru struggle pretty realistically with every part thats gained back, which is kinda satisfying n nice in a way imo. I like it a lot. also the constant issure of “do the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few” is just so good cause like on one hand i fuckin love Hyakkimaru and want him to get his body back, of course!! but on the other hand, when you start to see the people of diagos land suffering and such,,,,,, and know that coulda probably been avoided if Hyakkimaru had just died (tho listen, deals with demons always go bad so probs smth else woulda happened) its fuckin sad as hell. 

But also at the end when Hyakkimaru is just like “its my fucking body! give it back it doesnt belong to you!!” hell YES dude you tell them 

also the way you feel bad for every fuckin person (except daigo, who can and should choke) is very very good. 

anyways i know ive barely talked about Dororo here but thats because shes perfect and i have no criticisms, and also she got the happy end she deserved even if im sure she punched Hyakkimaru VERY HARD for just up and leaving when they reunited. but bruh, tbh thats exactly what he deserves for pulling a stunt like that lmao. 

in any case, Dororo is an extremely good anime and I immediately want to watch all of it again, with the knowledge that in my AU daigo fuckin died after that camera cut away, and Jukai totally hauled Nui and Tahomaru the fuck outta there n theyre living on Hyakkimarus good good rice farm together happy n healing n good.