#the time to catch up is now tbh
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b/a for the boys’ anniversary edit :-)
#b and a#mostly just posting this to say hi#i didn’t mean to disappear again. it’s just#i have had A Week#literally the longest 10 days of my life#but um. it’s fine. i’m hoping things will maybe kind of go back to normal soon ish#i’d like to try & catch up on things & reply to people at some point#i just haven’t had the time nor the energy lately#but n e way….#i’m glad people seemed to like this edit#all the comments & tags on it were so sweet!!#ik i didn’t reply to them but i did read them!!#i had a lot of things i wanted to say about this edit but#i honestly can’t remember any of them now#my brain is just scrambled tbh#so. yea. that’s it i guess. hi.
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some of my faves,,,,,
(click for better quality)
#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#sophie foster#keefe sencen#maruca chebota#sorry for not posting art for a while I’m rusty on digital#and traditional tbh :’(#I have been so busy jeez but the semester is almost over#and idk I’m just not that into keeper as I was when I started this account but I’m scared to post other fandom work#bc the things I’m into now are too like. big idk their fandoms scare me#so maybe day oc work to come???#I’ll stop blabbering in the tags I’ve missed this place but idk I’ll catch up w ppl once I like 😭#have time#feel free to send asks or dms tho :]#I’m trying to stop being so lurky here lol#also still have not read stellarlune so hashtag fake fan ig#my art
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ITS FRIDAAAAY !!! good morning friendz :3 i am so relieved we have made it to the end of the week omgee !! i am so proud of us because i know a lot of us have felt the effects of this wonky week, but we did it. i think we all deserve a treat ! please be kind to yourselves, because you’re here despite it all & thats absolutely wonderful ❤︎
#truly i don’t think ive been so down in a very long time#but !! WE ARE HOPEFUL & WHIMSICAL ONCE AGAIN !!!#or at least getting there :’) !#trying to be kinder to myself + little by little it is helping ! & ofc the love from my friends always helps ‹𝟥#i worked on a very indulgent fic that i might toss up today >_< it helped me through a lot of this stuff tbh#have a wonderful day <3 i need to play catch up on a few things now that i have energy but i fear i will be busy until sunday sniffle !#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims#ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ — ✩ daily yap.
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writing requests open
after a long few months of Life Shit™ that has kept me from writing as much as I would have liked to, I have decided to open up my inbox for short writing requests to help get me back on my keyboard.
any form of prompt/idea/rambling/headcanon/whatever is welcome!
it can be platonic, romantic, lore-focused, reader insert, non-reader insert, just about anything that tickles your fancy. just note that I do typically steer away from writing smut, but nsfw themes are allowed :)
#depending on how many i receive i may close this at some point but as of now this has no expiration date!#this is actually my first time doing this so pls don't be shy otherwise i will be pretending that this post never existed lmao#my creative spark has fizzled greatly due to sheer exhaustion and i'm having a hard time getting going again#also will be F I N A L L Y catching up on the many many fic updates i have missed!!! which will in turn help as well#anyways! send me your brain worms <3#and i mean. tbh. if you're reading these tags and you wanna request for a different fandom i'm in? by all means go ahead#em's ponderings#sleep token fanfiction
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physically restraining myself from redrawing a bg n making it unnecessarily complicated n detailed
#I AM NOT DRAWING A BUNCH OF DETAILED BUILDINGS FOR A SMALL BG PIC IM NOT IM NOT#one of my nr 1 rules making the ask blog was that i was gonna half ass shit more#so that id actually get shit done#i can either go complicated or detailed#if i do both ill never finish anything u_u#i should actually be going 2 bed tbh............#But! im at least working on shit for the blog again which feels great!#still have some other projects i gotta finish also.... But i have abit more wiggle room 2 also do my own shit inbtween#for now..........#until deadlines catch up with me again B)#tho hopeully i can plan out my time better n not spend like 2 or 3 months filled with anxiety B)#rambles#also semi related i am also restraining myself from making an aradia ask blog................. u dont know how tempted i am#but i also know i dont have the time for it.................................................................#but.................................................................................#i wanna
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"bad decisions, that's alright; look, i'm still alive"
#&juliet#if you saw the old version of this... no you didn't#anyway. &j posting now... made this into what i like to call a public transport wip#in which painting on phone with fingers commences! usually it happens to doodles that get coloured and i want to clean up#idk about the colours here though... that said it's a livable error#smth smth reminders to not feel so scared... many many paths.#be less afraid of messing up? just live life? many many paths#one of my key takeaways from this show was along those lines#sobs.. if that isn't the premise of the musical huh? juliet is so young and has her whole life ahead to live...#still so much ahead of her- so what if she Didn't kill herself?#<holds tightly> many routes. many routes. i am young and have my life yet to be lived.#also this comes from the joint bit near the end where angelique sings to juliet#!! also just realised that the nurse and juliet's hairstyles parallel each other... such a cute detail..#// sometimes the stuff i make is really just because the themes resonate at this specific point in life..#i think it's getting more self-specific! tbh every time i catch myself creating for Myself specifically i go <333
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Just a few moments captured while having fun before the Festival of Snow ☃️
Transcript:
Atlas: Hey, did you see our snowpal? I don’t like to brag, but we’re really good at building snowpals. Oh, and it was my idea to bring the wooden spoon for the mouth.
Aurelio: You don’t say? Yeah, that’s great, man. Asher: [Stand back fellas, he’s all mine.]
Atlas: Hey Dawn, what’s going on with your boyfriend?
Phoenix: [It’s like we’re IN a snow globe.] Dawn: Yeah, he really likes snow.
#and we're back!#story posts will resume tomorrow yay!#for now just having a bit of fun while killing time in game#building skills and relationships#sometimes I like to see how sims get along in game and let it influence how I write their characters in my story#which is how atlas and asher ended up together tbh#they tried to run off together the second I introduced them#ty ww#anyway i have lot of catching up to do so i'll see you all next week 💖#ts4#ts4 gameplay#sims 4#sims 4 gameplay#sims 4 challenge#starsignchallenge#starsignlegacychallenge#phoenix realta#dawn stephens#atlas stephens#asher goode#aurelio robles#lex mcphee#aries outtakes
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I wonder if they think of me
#the way i think of them#every time i can't sleep theyre the only people i want to message or call or just.. hear from#every time something awful happens lately they're some of the only people i can think of that just... thinking about them cheers me up.#whenever something good or silly or fun or important or really pleasant or weird happens.. i want to tell them first and hear their#excited or happy or sweet or dumbfounded responses#when its late and im alone... i want to listen to their snoring... or feel my head against his chest but for longer than a hug this time#ive begun to be scared that im so full of love it physically repells my partners. i want to be good for them so bad that im rancid in#some way.#i want to be there beside each of them so badly that they pull back... and when i give them space? they dont seem to reach out to me first#i feel like im.. so far down the list. maybe just because they know ill be there so they dont idk. care to check in?#they've told me before that if im doing badly they trust/assume that i would tell them#i cant even get a paying-attention response to the positive news i give sometimes... let alone. what i feel like is. my constant bad news#i want to be good. i want to be positive and hopeful and trusting and optemistic and patient#i feel like such a “maybe” or an “eventually”. i feel replacable and every way theyve tried to explain that im not its just...#them describing me as something sooo special im either too much. or that they think im too fragile or too explosive. or that they want#to meet someone else or more people who make them feel like i do. like im just a collectable trinket they can catch more of when they#dont want me specifically around but someone who does as much for them as i might. or can make them feel as loved as i honestly do love them#and they deserve that.#they deserve more than just me#they both do#i am disabled and im dramatic and im terrified of living this way and i feel so lonely whenever im in any company but theirs#because i either dont know how to interact well wifh others. or when i do get along with someone... it ends up gettin really scary for me#really quickly.#met nice friends? turns out they were mid-drug-relapse and want my help getting sober#met people i had stuff in common with in adult only spaces?? turns out they were lying about half of the details about themselves to fit in#reconnected wifh kind old friends? one of them is belligerent and mean almost daily and they others arent comfortable being near that#open up to my family about my struggles? get told i should leave#ive vented before on this blog and others that tbh most of the time my main reason for not doing really impulsive bad things to/for myself#is my fiancé. he's my best friend and my motivation and my love and my family... and now i have a seocnd partner as well and I#feel similarly and really strongly about them as well
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*through gritted teeth* a closet made of glass is still a closet a closet made of glass is still a closet a closet made of glass is still a closet a closet made of glass is still a closet a closet made of glass is still a closet
#like sure. i look visibly queer but tbh combined w the rest of my personality it really comes off as just 'being eccentric'#and since im bi i get away with everything by talking only abt men. but at the same time... i feel trapped in a hell of my own making#its like... up until now i didnt really feel like i was in a closet.. you know.. like my queerness was a hypothetical#that i can explore at a secondary location and just lie abt where i was and its ok bc nothing actually lgbt has happened#but now? hwooo boy.... i catch myself wishing the closet was less transparent. or that there was no need for a closet#this just in girl whos never actually faced any real oppression is getting a hypothetical taste of reality and is now very paranoid#piksla.txt
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it's tuesday, and today, i am thinking about posting about completely random things. so who would let barton be an actually semi-good dad friend for once and let him teach their muse how to fish... then, have him be proud of them like this when they do catch something:
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#see he IS capable of not being a chaos gremlin. it just takes... getting him out into nature? idk LMAO ☠️#buttt just imagining barton really UPPING the shock factor when they catch something like ' OMG you caught a big one ' even if it actually-#a big fish is kind of oddly wholesome and funny at the same time. like i think i may actually like someee aspects of barton's-#personality dare i say because he CAN be encouraging when he wants to and barton is actually rather loyal to his friends so there's that#like he will NOT hesitate to kill someone for his friend if they have made it into his inner circle tbh. just say the magic words like-#'i just wish this person would leave me alone' and barton is going to take care of the problem for you boo <33 and MAYBE show your muse-#evidence that he killed them but JSJSJ let's not ruin the moment now / hj
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One of the funny (?) things about me is that when I was absolutely miserable during the second year of my master's program, that misery expressed itself and evolved into an intense feeling of "I want to go home". And that feeling never went away. It's the first and most powerful thought I get whenever I'm feeling down. Even if I'm already home.
#Don't think I've really talked about it before but#That was genuinely one of the lowest points of my life despite living in Paris (yes I recognize the privilege there)#I was so lonely and wasn't good at doing things by myself#nor did I want to. And I'm still not good at that tbh.#My good friends were in the parallel program (research vs “professional”) and I didn't see them much due to travel-sucking-outside-of-Paris#I didn't like the people I was in class with and sometimes had to be with for 7 days and nights straight#Classes were 9-5 +studying (and commuting) which honestly. Hell. Cooped up in a studio apt so much#Wild to think that for as lame as Logan Utah is and how stressed I was about my thesis I still had a better time there#it at least felt like a valuable use of time. Meanwhile i WISH I could say I remembered anything about my classes.#So I wanted to go home where I could easily see friends and family on a regular basis#get a hug or something#Anyways#It's still my gut feeling when I'm sad but now it just feels silly and misplaced whenever I catch it happening lol#personal
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gonna call my topaz dr ratio follow up team TOP RATIO mhmhm
#good name me thinks#ppl r saying this team will be quite optimal but tbh i have a suspicion that it will flop after like the first week LMAO#imma still play it tho#but running double hunt sounds iffy to me lol#sorry ruan mei but i’ll have to skip 😔#skipped jingliu AND ruan mei this is such an L from me tbh 😔😔😔#to be fair ruan mei just didn’t rlly catch my eye#and jingliu was just bad timing bc i didn’t save up for her#also lowkey#i’m kinda tired of this recycled design for all the recent female characters#it really seems the same honestly#like i understand that’s the fashion for the xianzhou but come on now 😭😭#delete later
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Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr annoyeddddd
#i specifically ask. every time. hey im gonna take a long shower do you need to use the bathroom / oh no thanks im good#and every time. 20 mins later. knocking on the door.#so now i am dripping miserably onto my bedroom floor#it drives me up the fuckin wall tbh#can a bitch not catch a fuckin break
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HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTTT THAT CRITROLE EP WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! im SO glad we had the set up of the last one so we could have the big thrills of this!!!!!!!!! this had everything!! it had ira's bad (and good!) decisions! it had sam's out of pocket wacky can shenanigans!! it had deception and sneaking! it had badass plays and some.. eye-catching talents 👀 it had gross shit that's kinda actually sad if u think about it! it had walking (running) away from explosions (NOT a sunglasses moment this was a loserfail) it had .. terrifying parents. it had imodna momence !! :D it even had some unprecedented wins for our typically fighty/flighty adventurers!!! i will ABSOLUTELY be watching that again come monday!!!!!!!!!!
#lynx speaks#cr spoilers#now to expand upon these!!! i am THRILLED that there has been a more overt notice of orym's hex 😏#thats what i've been excited for for aaaaaaages i adore orym esp when he gets a little more fucked up#what can i say im a bit of an angst fan myself :D#fcg gave ira SUCH a bad time tho like CMON BBYYYYY 1 MINUTE ?!?!?!?!?!! yall r LUCKY yalls r cool af#also tho.... ira actually saving fearne like 👀 i see it!!! i think simply everyone likes fearne and everyone would save her 😎#and team infiltrate i loooved imogen's use of that damn .. what was it called ? the damn static bomb that was sick as hell!!!#and hey!! both teams got in and out without anyone catching on that it was bells hells helping!#is that a first for bh? cause it sure feels like it TBH like the feywild malleus key stunt did NAWT go this smoothly#even with the bumps they had they did terrific frfr#esp with imogen setting up oryms badass fighter play and launda and chet setting each other up for success#and it does FEEL like imogen is more powerful on ruidus just from the plays she makes like the static spell and how it set Everyone up#to protect them all and keep their enemies in bad positions so that bh had good positions#they barely got hits and orym and chet took the brunt of it#they got out everoa and themselves without too much hassle and i'd say team mcfuckin 'splosion did pretty fucken well too#more damage on their side but. thatssss not their fault thats mainly on ira (and fcg 😂)#gosh. goshhh. what a good fucking episode. and sorrowlord zathuda. and liliana. fuck bro.#zathuda is SCARY#and liliana i meaaaaaaan. hun what did u THINK 🧐 imogen meant when she told u to run?? 🤔 'did she know' u know the answer to that.#i was definitely excited cause. we knew the volition were gonna fail in killing liliana. but i felt in my heart that she was gonna#feel betrayed by imogen. despite creating the scenario in which imogen must 'betray' her.#i LOVE fucked up mothers cant waaaaait to see what happens next !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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my sister got me to finally sit down and watch the o.ne p.iece live action and suffice it to say chiyo’s getting a verse or i’m making an oc at some point
#ASDFG I KNEW IT… i knew if i watched it i’d end up loving it and getting into it :’ ))#i love pirates and i’ve got some nostalgia for one piece tbh — I watched it as a kid even if i remember very little now#i put it off bc i had a feeling i might really like it which is a weird thing i do asdgj#i put off watching things i’m looking forward to all the time and i dunno why#but it kinda feels like right now is the time to catch up on them bc my motivation is so low to do very much of anything#going through a lil low energy phase i guess and that’s okay bc we’ll get through it 💜#anyway i’m gonna try to be around more this weekend! it’s just been busy with the puppy and social stuff#thanks for being patient with me 💜#get ready to ramble | ooc
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man the weirdest thing about 2024 so far is my nyquil induced dreams this time meant I dreamt about lexa. in the year of our lord 2024!!!!!!
#I have never dreamt about lexa before brain 😭#like tbh! I do tend to have vivid dreams!#but they’re usually like. some weird stress job related shit#(tbt that time I was stressed about a call up and made up an even MORE fucked up way to file evidence#by having to paper file everything except the filing window was somehow a fucking stump in the middle of the woods where faries would accept#the filing or not???????) or like. idk sometimes you have intense dreams about dating your friends and things are weird for a bit.#but this??????#anyway that’s how the 100 dominated my brain entering 2024 happy new year everyone#also I’ve been sick this past week (did I catch covid at the holiday party we were all forced to work at? probably? did it thoroughly fuck#up my holiday plans? 10000000%!!!!! I wanted to play sooo much bg3 and enjoy the family nye party!!! and yet#here I am) so I have spent most of my week sleeping it off and thoroughly fucked up my sleep schedule so that’s fun!!#more importantly humi and tamal were VERY sweet and would not leave my side while I was bedridden (exaggerated) but now that I’m better#they’re like ok whatever bye. except it’s cold! I miss the snuggles 😭#anyway.#personal tag#I guess
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