#the three gnomes in the forest

[qyuryyus]

baldur's gate 3 fans hmu

[we-stan-the-stans-27]

Bigfoot

So, we don't really know everything Ford was up to during his time in Gravity Falls. We, the viewers, get to see the Disney, kid-friendly version, but that can't be the full truth. Hence, they don't give us everything.

It's left up to interpretation. My favorite.

We've all seen Stanley's Bigfoot attraction, right? This one.

Personally, I've convinced myself that this is the real bigfoot.

Think about it. Ford was alone, collecting all kinds of specimens for studying! We see a Giants ear, for example. (We know giants exist in some form, because of Steve who eats cars)

How about the Fijji Mermaid Skeleton? (Ford literally dated a siren or mermaid, I can't remember which. And That's not mentioning Mermando!)

Technically, all of these could be fake. We see lots of fake exhibits throughout the shack, which obviously are. Such as the Rock that looks like a face. (It's literally a carved rock. That's the whole attraction, and he sells it beautifully)

Or the thigh-clops. (He is literally gluing the eye on, I CAN SEE YOU STANLEY)

But I don't think those ones are.

The point of this post is this: Stanford Pines is just crazy enough to have captured, killed, and stuffed the real bigfoot.

(Normal people would take just the feet, but no. People won't believe you unless you have the whole corpse)

At least half of the shack's success is built on Ford being literally insane and killing and hoarding specimens of rare species only found in the local ecosystem. Stanley looked at them and said, 'Huh, that's weird, I guess. But I can sell this!' while rubbing his hands together.

AND THEN he made it even more ridiculous with his own stuff, adding his own special touches!!! Like the underwear, because people don't believe it if its too real!!!

(Edit: I just realized. Ford probably kept Bigfoot junk. That's why he wears underwear because Stanley can't put whatever the hell kind of sexual organs a giant ape-man has on display at a tourist trap for kids. Oh my fucking God. Ford you sick bastard. )

I have no idea if anyone else has made this connection, but the fact that Ford made several animals extinct before ever being pushed through the portal is so funny to me.

Like, imagine Ford slinking through the forest of Gravity Falls with his stupid crossbow hunting Bigfoot, the last Dodo Bird on Earth, and hell- I bet he is the one who killed the gnome queen! I said it, that's why they've spent the last three decades looking for a new one!?

We never see any sort of taxidermied gnome, of course, but I bet its somewhere hidden away in the basement. It looks too human to put on display or Stanley is helping cover up Ford's crimes by not airing his worst secret.

Because let's be serious, if Ford killed their queen that explains why we never see any kid gnomes. All the ones still alive are from thirty years ago, having barely ages because of magic. It's kind of like the smurfs I'm guessing with one women a generation.

And Ford basically doomed them to extinction, eventually.

That's-

Stanford Pines is insane. (Look at his dumb face)

BRB, about to go destroy the local wildlife real fast!?!? Be serious people, he would.

-Okay Bye, I'm done rambling.

[superkirbylover]

FINALLY!!! the VERY final refs for the ponified cast of pizza tower. everypony has the same name except for pizzahead, who's called pizzahoof. pizzahoof was also designed by @c0met-dr01d!! go check them out :]

under the cut is me rambling about their cutiemarks (or lack thereof) and other design choices

gustavo's cutiemark is a pizza with three mushroom toppings, because he's a chef, and earlier in pizza tower development, he was a gnome! this isn't the case anymore though, but i still like to think he is. that, and i just associate him with gnome forest, so it felt fitting. plus, i suppose it adds to the mario comparisons lmao

peppino's cutiemark is a pepperoni pizza alongside a pizzacutter. i know people are raising eyebrows at the pepperoni, but my excuse is... uhh, they're not actually pepperoni. it's like, some vegetarian alternative. probably made of flowers or some shit. the pizza is obvious, he's a chef and he cooka-da-pizza. the pizza cutter isn't just to hammer that in, but it's also a callback to the various times throughout pizza tower development where he used to have a pizza cutter buzz-saw! especially in pizza massacre

noise's cutiemark is a bomb with its fuse lit, because it represents his explosive personality and he often uses bombs. dude is wacky, unpredictable and can be a feral fucking thing. also something about acting, being a mascot or being in the showbiz somewhere in the mix. he has a tail, but it's just... in his suit. he's a dumbass

noisette's cutiemark is a ruby chocolate bar. she runs a cafe, and while she presumably has Really Weird Taste, i figured it would be a really cute fit for her. it's sweet, just like her! and pink. just like her!

fake peppino deliberately does not have a cutiemark. it's to add to the sense of "failed clone," where many aspects of peppino have been successfully recreated (body type, hair color, coat color, outfit, facial hair) but other small things have been muddled or changed by mistake (height, eyes not staying in their sockets, hair being more smooth looking, face shape). not to mention, he's made of dough, like his original clone counterpart. in the show, it's established that only ponies can have cutiemarks. while he looks like a pony, who's to say he really is one?

stick's cutiemark is that television hud you see when you have enough money to buy a boss gate in pizza tower. i chose this cause on top of being a tv, a reoccurring object throughout the game, it also has some modifications to make it more... stick-y. it has his hat and a propeller coming from the top, and if you know stick, that man likes to make shit, specifically to sell and make money. that's also why there's a money sign in the tv. stick has a tail stub but i never really draw it myself. he's completely bald. mind you, he still has his coat, but no mane, no tail. zilch. he's a bald motherfucker. also stick's magic color is green

pizzahoof also does not have a cutiemark. he's a fucking cheese pony, why would he need one? dude just exists to be silly and whimsical. giving him one i feel would go against his character of just being clownish, doing what he wants when he wants, regardless if it means others suffer because of him or not. also, he's MADE of CHEESE!!!

[achromant]

AND HERE WE ARE! My project for the gw2 'zine!

Featuring Baruhn, reflecting on his life so far, the challenges, the small sparks of joy, the horrors, loss and gain.

For clarification's sake; I did in fact plan to depict every stage of Baruhn's life, but uuh. File was already too big.

Might do a series of short comics (graphic novels?) though, because i fking love storytelling.

Let's look at my idiotic level of detail a bit, eh?

[Long Text Ahead]

Baruhn's story begins in the Plains of Ashford. An unsuccessful attempt to stem the tide of Ascalonian Ghosts leads to the demise of many year-long allies. Dozens of brave soldiers gave their life for a mere week of peace until the ghosts reformed. They always do. Soldiers don't.

Shaken in his faith in the Legions, the first seeds of doubt arise.

Until finally he found someone to trust with his pain. In a tavern at the edge of the Black Citadel, he gets to know this odd fellow, who is continuosly follow by the faint smell of sulfur. Although Baruhn knew where that path led, the warmth radiating from the old veteran in front of him was not only a physical, but an emotional one.

With the Three Legions busy with their internal quarrels, fighting over an empty promise, Baruhn took the first steps down a previously thought to be dark path.

Surprisingly, die Flame Legion was welcoming, their fires offered light and guidance, the embers igniting the skies like stars. Surely this was better than the cold metal over the Black Citadel.

Baruhn took to learning first, handling the small flames with ease after years of throwing fireballs at ghostly shapes. Then, he figured out how to teach, and that is where the real magic comes from. Nurturing a flame, protecting it from harsh winds, adding a bit of kindling and coal here and there. He even taught the more elusive ways of magic that wield smoke and ash.

Baruhn knew about the war, the countless lifes lost on the other side of the fence. But those were humans, and here he was among family.

That is, until he met Molly.

After a small recon mission that was assured not to be much of a hurdle, Baruhn found himself alone in a forest. The small fires he conjured for light and warmth only drew in the nearby villagers. Those with pitchforks and torches, with crude swords and a thirst for blood. He couldn't really bring himself to hate them, this was war after all. But at what cost are these battles to be won?

Trying to escape the villagers was a futile attempt. He sank to the ground, his own hot blood dousing the little flames beneath his weary head.

For some reason - maybe hope, maybe resignation - he forced open his heavy eyes, only to discover his wounds cleaned and bandaged with fragile white cloth. A small human girl, of all things in this damned forest, tried to help. Even in his weakened state, even with just one hand, Baruhn could have easily grabbed her and cracked her skull. But the only thing he did was listen. He listened to the ramblings of the small human, going on and on about faries made of leaves and gnomes of stone. She called him "bear".

When the villagers came, they saw the girl at his side. That was all it took for them to turn on her. She was to be executed like that beast that now slowly stepped in front of her. For the first time, Baruhn spoke to the girl. "close your eyes."

Fire roared, not red, not orange. not a warm, welcoming fire. Not one that belongs in a hearth, that thrives in the arms of a family. This was so much worse. This was years of inner conflict, of doubt, of closing his eyes on the other side of the fence. For the first time in his life, this was the only thing that he wanted to do, protect the little insignificant human behind him. Fire roared, and it burned wood and it burned flesh.

Baruhn picked up the little girl, she held tight to his horns, nestled in his mane. He ran for hours, years of military training finally useful. The little girl, Molly, lost her mother years ago. She burned in the fires of a war she tried to escape. "And your father? What about your family?", he asked between deep breaths. Molly was quiet for a while, then whispered, her voice barely audible, "My father burned today."

They stayed together, for quite a while. He protected her, and she, with her head full of stories, and a book full of dreams, protected him.

Things came, things went. Baruhn rejoined the High Legions, acting as a spy for Ash, keeping an eye on Iron and Blood.

Baruhn ultimately took on his role as Novice, then Archivist, then Commander. He helped during the struggles against Scarlet. A small flame here and there, some shrouding smoke, a well timed lightning strike. It was other people that finally defeated Scarlet, but he was always in the background, with all the small things at just the right time.

Mordremoth came, but with him new allies.

It was but a small tangent in the grand scheme of things. Watching the fragile sapling while waging war on the jungle itself.

Their relation was something more than friendship, something else than love. They were there for each other when they needed to be. Be it only to keep a flame burning or to banish the voices to the back of the head again, they walked the same path for a long time.

Tarir, the Egg. Aurene. A new flame entrusted to him, his to nurture, his to raise. A gamble, again. What if that little flame would some day devour the world? But Baruhn did, what he could do best. Teach.

Darker times came. Caudecus and the White Mantle. The raid on the Mursaat's prison. Then facing the last Mursaat himself.

Balthazar came, and in his wake a new kind of fire. A war, similar to the ones Baruhn had seen before, but still different. A war without a cause, war for war's sake. War against nature, against the world, like a child lashing out when there were none to help them up. Maybe Balthazar's flames were not too different from his.

After the festering swamp that Joko was, came the mountain, Kralkatorrik. Death was not a hindrance anymore, not for the Commander and his dragon. The story went as the story goes.

When it came to face the frost, the whispers, Jormag. Everything fell apart. Jormag pried into the deepest, darkest corners of Baruhn's life, dragged every doubt, small as it may have been, into the light. In the ice, every truth was warped, encased in whispers, in lies. It suffocated any hope and planted even darker seeds than anyone thought possible.

It was the spirit of the Raven that aided Baruhn. Even the black feathers of its wings were shimmering like rainbows in the moonlight.

A small piece stayed with him, just a fragment. Nevermore.

After that, the stars themselves. Astralaria.

So many stories that make a life, so many pieces. Every encounter, every step along the way is another fragment of the whole. People are made of other people, that is what it means to be alive.

[sceletaflores]

•｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ wip wednesday!

thanks for the tag angel baby @guiltyasdave <3 • 18+ under the cut! MDNI!

wip #1 • far too familiar a stranger…feat. logan howlett (& crimson!)

a long time ago, logan howlett knew a woman with your face…

i couldn’t not write a ‘worst!logan coming face to face with his tragically dead love interest but from wade’s universe after wade forced her to help them stop the TVA and hating her for bringing up that time in his life until he doesn’t anymore’ fic.

it's crimson because i felt that making whole new mutant reader would be sort of confusing so this fic is in the to the bone universe but it's not the same timeline...if that makes sense lmao

Wade Wilson is the worst neighbor in the entire fucking world. It’s really something you should have known sooner, like ‘the very first day in your new place ending with him breaking in through your window fully suited up after counting the floors wrong and bleeding all over your brand new pottery barn throw rug because he was still a little too concussed to walk’ sooner. Even after that whole fiasco left you with a broken window latch and a beyond fucked non-refundable $80 carpet, you still let yourself entertain his crazy. Just like everyone else whose life Wade crashed into, both physically or metaphorically. And once he's in, you can never really get him back out again. So yeah, maybe this whole thing is your fault. Maybe getting thrown into a barren, dusty void with two somewhat failed X-Men is just all your bad karma manifesting in one huge finger from the universe.

wip #2 • red and yellow kill a fellow! feat. logan howlett & wade wilson

logan doesn’t appreciate you letting wade get one up on him…

finally finally finally getting off my ass and writing logan x reader x wade! i was inspired by this one episode of satc (which is like my favorite show ever bee tee dubs) where charlotte goes out with two guys at the same time and she has sex with one but not the other until one of them catches her with the other guy and they all break it off.

my vision is a little different cause instead of getting mad and leaving when logan finds out reader fucked wade and not him, he figures it's his turn to get even. aka wade in the cuck chair and loving it.

The three of you pass a BMW sitting in a no parking zone, all four windows rolled down as Madonna blasts through the speakers. "So," Wade says, voice breaking the silence for the first time in five minutes. "Who white-washed your guts better?" You nearly trip over your own feet, whipping your head to gape at Wade. "Fucking excuse me?" "You know," Wade shrugs, like it's a perfectly normal thing to ask. The leisurely pace of his stroll not slowing, his hands still stuffed in the pockets of his jeans. "Who carved the lyrical railway better?" He just keeps going as you stare at him with a repulsed look on your face. "The number one stud that's stuffin' your muffin? That's takin the ol' bald-headed gnome for a satisfying stroll in the misty forest. Pick one hot stuff, they all mean the same thing." Before you can even answer there's a rough, questioning grunt from your right and your stomach flips. Oh. Logan, he was still here too. Still here and right next to you, listening. Oh yeah. "You fucked?" You still haven't slept with Logan yet. You turn to him face slowly, eyes a hair wide as you take in the sharp raise of his brow. "Um..." "Whoops," Wade snorts from somewhere behind your shoulder. "Cat's out the bag."

wip #3 • it's the easiest thing (just love me and eat me) feat. logan howlett

it’s not often that logan needs this, but you’re always more than happy to give it to him when he does…

the same requested sub!logan fic from last wednesday just with a new name and weirder energy! like this has really gotten away from me and turned into something that i can't really explain well enough to make it sound like chill...

lots of religious imagery and symbolism...and some metaphors of cannibalism...idk i'm just a girl with religious trauma and a weird blood fetish sue me.

You've come to think that being in bed with Logan is like being in church. The familiar weight of his body pressing you into the mattress is the alter. The heat of it like laying in the burning flame of a candle. The strong planes of his muscles each a different scripture that you take in by touch alone, skating your hands over his skin with something close to worship. Each bead of sweat on his skin feels sacred, a testament to the intensity between you, as though every part of him has been crafted for this moment of devotion. The hard length of his cock carves a place for itself inside you, each heavy smack of his hips punching another desperate sound out of your slack lips. His breath, deep and ragged, is a chant that pulls you into reverence. It puffs against the wild beat of your pulse, his lips brushing over the fever hot plane of your skin. The sound of your name pulled from his mouth sounds like a prayer answered. You can’t help but close your eyes, not in exhaustion, but in a kind of spiritual surrender, like by shutting out the world, you can truly grasp the divinity of it. There's a holiness to the way he holds you—like you’re the only thing worth believing in.

kisses!

no pressure tags! @ebodebo @artemis-b-writes @avocado-writing @superhoeva

[griefabyss69]

Paths and Angles

Written for @steddiemicrofic!

[ AO3 ]

'NEW' wc: 517 | rated: T | cw: None

When Eddie's stuck inside for a week, he gets bored, and when he gets bored, he gets creative. It's too bad he creates with his dick and his heart, not with his intentions. Maybe the 100th fresh start will turn out differently?

Eddie sets up a fresh canvas, but it doesn't really matter, so he opens up a new sketchbook—or grabs a sheet of lined paper—no, he tries a xeroxed copy of an empty character sheet.

Paint, ink, graphite, charcoal, coffee, an accidental glob of spit, it all fits together, becoming a repetition of a single fucking subject.

Steve's body—or his thoughts, or his feelings, or Eddie's feelings, about Steve. Even the gnome he rolls stats for ends up with high charisma, good hair, and a bat to bludgeon shit with.

Eddie's got to be going through a winter of his creative spirit, if winter was a lust fueled week where he was basically held prisoner inside his room so he could "rest", because he tore his stitches again.

Rest!

In these circumstances! Every melody he picks out on the ol' Dragon Slayer is borrowed straight from Steve's mouth!

There is a solid twenty minutes where Eddie thinks he's finally got something—new material, not the trampled path he's been beating down—except during the twenty-first minute he realizes he's strumming the familiar cadence of Steve's footsteps, and he wants to beat himself down.

Right in the face. With the acoustic.

It's cruel to leave him like this. Rest doesn't involve a chafed dick and permanent dents in his lip from biting it so much.

He rubs paint off of the side of his finger—blue, because Steve's all browns and tans and caramels, Eddie had thought he was safe with blue—while he stares into the distance.

"Maybe sculpting," he mutters, trying to remember where he put the package of air dry clay he bought like three years ago. Art supplies, man. You buy them and forget about them.

He doesn't find the clay, but he sneaks out while Wayne's at work and finds a nice healthy stick to try to whittle into like, a wooden knife or something.

It goes well at first. He's sitting outside on the deck, listening to the buzz of everyone's porch lanterns, the buzz of the shitty streetlights, the buzz of the teeny tiny wildlife in Forest Hill's most least brown grass. He's enjoying the air, the slight violence of his creative activity, and the surety that he can't just stumble his way into whittling like, Steve's eyes.

Except there's only so many things shaped like a long stick on a person and what he has does not resemble an arm or a leg. He stares at the uncarved base of the stick—rounded, wider than the rest—and realizes they look like balls.

Sure, he hasn't seen Steve's dick and only knows he's circumcised from rumors, but what was supposed to be the handle of a sick dagger doesn't look ornate, but human phallus instead.

At least it's small, so when he feels weird about hucking it somewhere for someone's dog to find and prance around with between its teeth, he can easily hide it in his room and pretend it's literally just… a carved wooden penis.

Yeah, he'd have something like that, and he couldn't possibly have modeled it after Steve.

There.

Finally.

A new subject.

[cosmic-spider]

Weclome to Gravity Falls

Lake cryptic >>

Looked out the window of the bus as it passes tall Pine trees. You here your two friends a few sets behind you talk and joke around.

You had came with your two friends Mable and Dipper Pines. To spend your summer in a small unknown town called Gravity Falls.

The place sounded familiar to you, but you brushed it of. Dipper and Mable were going to be living in there Grate Uncle  Stan's house called the Mystery Shack.

The S on the sign on top of the roof fell of. So it said Mystery hack instead. You on the other hand we're going to be in a cottage farther out in the woods.

So when you three got off the bus arriving in the town. The three of you agreed that you should all got things settled first. Then meet up at the Shack

As you told the twins that you would fallowed the detections on your phone of where the cottage was. You eventually found were the cotta would be.

In a big clearing in the woods the size of a football field. You looked around to see if anything was close by. After making sure the cost was clear you moved a rock of the side of a tree.

Under the rock was a hand scanner. Putting your hand on it. The scanner blue light scared your hand then it pricked your finder getting a blood sample.

The ground then started to slowly rumble as it then opens up as a small ordinary cottage house. You went inside and cleaned it up a bit since it was keeper neatly already.

Getting out of the cottage you then clapped your hands making the cottage to then shape shift into another looking home that was basically made in a giant tree.

You pulled out a key with a weird looking eye on it. Tre eye was black with a golden brown cat like ires.

The cottage was fantastic on the inside it took you a bit to clean up the place of its dust and spider webs. You then checked by our phone to see when the delivery truck was going to arrive.

You knew that this version of the house was the one you would be staying in the most. The other form was just a cover up. In a clap of your hand it can change from being one to the other. Even if you were inside of the house.

Looking at your the mirror in your room. You see what you look like. The way your hair was down to the shirts and shirt you had on.

Walking up the mirror you touch your right cheek and look into your eyes. "You know you need to keep this look of you want to stay hidden."

"It has to be this way."

"He told you you had to. Even if I want to tell the twins. You can't Y/n you know you can't."

shaking your head brushing off the felling, and get back to unpacking your stuff. As well as already getting things in there place.

Checking your phone you see that it was now 4 pm you arrived here around 1. "Well might as well get done groceries as well as other supplies."

As you walked into the forest bin the detection of the town you hear the muffled sound of a..... heavy stomping ?

Stoping in your takes you look around to see if anything is around you. "Naw it's probably a tree that fell down somewhere."

 As you continue to walk you eventually made it to the town. It was true to its name it was small. It looked more like a neighborhood of stores. The so called Mall was only two stories tall plus looked to be the average size of a Walmart.

Plus a lot of things were so close together. There was a bar only two stores down from a library.

After a bit you got everything you needed. As you walked back  to the forest you decided to pass by the  Mystery Shack. When you  turned the corner to get to the front door.

You see a giant monster made up of gnomes? You then see Mable and Dipper use a leaf blower as a rocket launcher to the giant gnome monster. Making all the gnomes scatter around the place. 

You see how tired Mable and Dipper were, so you decided to not go up to them at the moment. So instead you continued your way to your home.

When you got back you put your stuff of the kitchen table. Then getting your phone to text the twins.

They both said that it was ok that hey also had a tough day getting settled in as well.

After getting all the food into the fridge and pantry. Plus cleaning and other hygiene stuff in place/ stock.

You went to your room as got changed and got into bed.

》 ━━━━━━━━━ ⊱✫⊰ ━━━━━━━━━ 《

Time skip

The next day you wake up and do all your morning routine stuff. You then when over to your closet and moved some Jacket to reveal a secret door.

Opening it showed that it healed a not of glass containers with a orange looking liquid inside of it. You take on of the bottles and drink it all down. "Plah this tastes awful." Then changed into something cute.

Plus making your breakfast and taking some cash with you in case. Walking in the detection of the shake you see that's were are a few cars parked outside of it. Probably tourists.

Go into the shake throw the Gift shop area. You see a another teenager at the register. She had red hear and a green plad button up shirt with some boots on with a lumberjack hat on.

She had her feet up on the rejuntes desk as she read a magazine. Of to the other side of the gift shop. Was a tall middle aged man that had a green shirt with a question mark on it, and a brown cap on.

He seemed to be a handy was as he was fixing up a shelf and had a tool belt on. Walking over to the teen so see if the twins were here.

"Hey are Dipper and Maple Pines here?" The teen looked over at you from the side of her magazine before putting it down on the counter. "Yeah there here. Just give me a second."

She then got up and went over to a door next to the vending machine and yelled into the door. "Mable! Dipper! There's someone here for you!" You jumped a bit at the sudden yell she did for the twins.

She then got back to where she was. "Your not from here." She said as she then looked throw her phone.

" No I'm not. How could you tell?" You asked as you took a seat on a barrel next to her.

"Well when you live in a small town like this. You basically know everyone that lives here." The teen said then put her phone back into her pocket.

"So what's your name and how do you know the Pine twins?"

"Oh sorry forgot to introduce my self there. Im y/n and I'm a friend of the twins that is also staying here for the summer."

"That's cool. How come your not staying here at the Mystery Shack?"

Well I'm staying in a cottage that's a bit farther out in the woods from here. (Quick y/n come up with a excuse) "It's a old family house, but I'll be in it for the summer."

"Oh that's nice plus you have a cute dress. I'm Wendy Corduroy  by the way" she raised her fist to you.

"Well nice to meet you Wendy." You retired the jesters giving her a fist bump.

The sound of two running foot steps were heard. As the twins then came throw the door of the inside of the Shack.

"Y/N YOUR HERE!!" Mable yelled out as she tackled you with a hug. That badly slowed you to breathe.

"Mable.    I can't.    Breathe." You patted her on the back to try to tell her to let go.

"Mable let go y/n can't breathe" Dipper came up to his sister.

"Oh sorry y/n. I'm just so excited to see you again" Mable said as she let go of you.

"Mable you say me yesterday. Your acting like I've been gone for the past month." You said as you got your breath back.

"Well might as well since we didn't get to show you the shack  yesterday." Dipper chimed in as be patted you on the back.

"Oh your right Dipper we should show her around the shack. Then many the town to." Mable said as she then started to jump around me and Dipper.

Well I already went into town yesterday. So all I need to see is the Shack." You told them, but Mable then grabbed your hand and ran farther into the shack. Dragging you in the process.

But before the two could even start the tour. They were stoped at the door by a old man in a suit.

"Wow there you two. You may be living in my shack but that dose not mean I'll let your little friend in." He stud in front of us as he blocked the path.

"Aww come on Gruncle Stan. You can make an exception for y/n PLEASEEEEEE" Mable said as she then gave him the puppy dog eyes.

"Ok ok. Stop with the dog eyes Mable. I swear umm going to go blind if you do." Stan said as he then rubbed his eyes.

"Ok fine she can come over to the shack but you got to give me something in return. If I'm going to let you come here?" Stan said as then looked at me. "So what do you have to offer kid?"

You then went through your purse and got out a stack of money. "Well I have about 650$ on me."

The twins and Stan look at you in disbelief. Then grabs the stack of cash putting it into his pouches.

"Ok it's sealed you can come over to the shack when ever you want kid!" Stan said with a smile on his face as he pushed the three of you into the house part of the shack.

"Oh my name is actually y/n!" You tried to correct him. But a new group of tour cam into the shop getting Stan distracted.

"Well um either way let's go show you the shack y/n" Dipper said as they continued to walk.

"Yeah! Oh here's the living room!" Mable said as she pulled you to the living room that had a tv and one yellow couch infront of it. Then a dinosaur skull next to it. The room also had a long aquarium next to the wall.

》 ━━━━━━━━━ ⊱✫⊰ ━━━━━━━━━ 《

Time skip brought to you by the twins showing of the shack and ending it in the empty attic.

“That's the whole Shack y/n!" Mable said as we went up the empty attic.

“ I’m a lot surprised that Stan has a few weird things around the place."  You said as you got on the ledge next the stain as window.

"Either y/n I found a weird Journal in the woods yesterday." Dipper said as he then grabbed a old looking maroon colored journal. That had a gold six fingered hand on top with the number 3 on it.

"Wow?! so what dose it have in it?" You said as you got up and looked over his shoulder.

"Well almost anything!" It's a journal that has a lot of weird creatures from this town.

"Yeah it helped us yesterday when some gnomes said I was going to be there queen blah!" Mable said as she she did some type of craft of to the side.

" Mables right  y/n. At first It was amable dating some guy Norman. I was skeptical at first and thought he was a zombie from the journals descripción." Dipper said as he flipped throw a few pages before stopping at the zombie titled one.

"But in reality it wasn't a zombie at all. It was actually a bunch of gnomes in a discuses. They wanted to make amable there queen." Dipper then flipped a few pages back to another page with gnomes in it.

After a good hour of two Stan told the twins that they would be going to the store to get a few things.

"Oh well we got to go y/n." Dipper said as he got up.

"Oh what if you come with use?!" Mable said as she jumped up and down.

"Sorry maybe next time since I went shopping yesterday. But Dipper do you mind if I can look through the journal and take a few picks of it while your gone?"

You asked as the three of you went down the stairs to the front door.

"Sure I don't mind. Here take it  you can give it back to me tomorrow when you come back." Dipper handed you the journal  as they then got into Stan's car and drove of.

As you made your way home you continued to read the journal and taking a picture of it after reading the page.

The writing was a bit hard to read since it was in cursive, but you could read it.

》 ━━━━━━━━━ ⊱✫⊰ ━━━━━━━━━ 《

Time skip

After a hour of reading the journal you arrived to one's of the final pages. It had a image of a figure that was triangle with a top hat and a bow tie.

 The page was so ominous. Well the whole journal was, but something about this page specifically made you feel off. You kept getting the feeling that there was something else wrong with it.

You didn't even try to read the page deciding that you read enough about the journal for now. Taking a pick of the page closing the journal. Then doing your things to get reader to sleep.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

1 9 8 5/9 19/ 4 9 19 3 15 22 5 16 9 14 7/ 20 8 5 / 23 5 9 18 4 14 5 19 19/ 15 6/ 20 8 9 19/ 20 15 23 14

6 9 14 4 9 14 7/ 1 14 4/ 21 14 3 15 22 5 18 9 14 7/ 20 8 5 / 19 5 3 18 5 20 19/ 15 6 / 5 22 5 18 25 20 8 9 14 7

2 21 20/ 8 15 23/ 12 15 14 7/ 3 1 14/ 19 8 5 / 11 5 5 16/ 8 5 18/ 15 23 14/ 19 5 3 18 5 20/ 8 9 4 5 14

[golubichkalive]

yes, I decided to write posts about all the characters, with all the facts and information

Peppino the centaur, who has his own pizzeria, runs fast enough, even faster than any transport, so delivery is fast with him. because of his military background, he does not trust other people, and does not let anyone sit on him except Gustavo, because he is his best friend and trusts him

Gustavo and Brick are a forest gnome and his friend the rat, Brick is very fluffy and smart, smarter than the original. they both live in the forest with other gnomes, and Gustavo bakes very tasty pies, you can lick your fingers

Mr. Stick is a dragon man breathing fire and guarding his gold, the most greedy of the existing dragons, and besides, an evil bun.

Pepperman is a satyr who, in addition to drawing, also plays the flute, and if you believe the legends, he, like all satyrs, can appear in dreams and predict the future

Vigilante is something like a gorgon, only his gaze does not turn to stone, and his snakes have names, namely Kyle, Jeri and Ruber, and they help Vigi in battle by spitting poisonous clots

Noise and Noisette are harpies, Noise is one of the most dexterous harpies and number 1 in flights, however, due to the fact that his feathers bring good luck, children used him in childhood to get feathers, since you can't pull out feathers on purpose, otherwise luck will disappear, and Noisette is the only one who decided to support and protect Noise from these misfortune, that's how they met

Fake is the same centaur as Peppino, only thin and long-legged, I have nothing to tell you about him, he's just a cute

Jerome is a gargoyle who is in the tower, and just works as a cleaner, maybe he is a little clumsy because of the horns, wings and tail, but he is quite nimble and can even keep up with Peppino, who rushes at the speed of a fast car, or maybe even faster than toppina's car

fairy mushroom, gorgon cheese, armadillo tomato, sausage the dragon and the pineapple lizard, they're just all little mythical creatures, the mushroom can fly, the tomato curls up into a ball, the sausage can breathe fire, and the pineapple can stand on its tail

Pizzaface is a three-headed dragon, it looks like an ordinary dragon, but in fact a robot, each of the three heads can spew fire, and the three of them simultaneously get super fire, and even at the last battle all three heads laugh at the same time, their triple laughter can knock you down

Pizzahead naga, the most terrible predator of all who are in the tower, everyone is afraid of him, but in winter you should not be afraid of him, because he hibernates, like all snakes, but in summer, he is the most dangerous, he can eat anyone and anything without pity

[magnificentsapcaddy]

There's that post I think of a lot about what the different fantasy races' TV shows would be like, and I kind of want to do that for my fantasy world. Because I'm trying to defy the classic fantasy stereotypes and this seems like a fun exercise.

DWARVES

The notion of a dwarvish television show is kind of like the idea of a human television show - they're so far spread that it's hard to pin it down to just one thing, but in Bant, the main continent where my books take place, it's all sooo self-serious. They're putting out soap operas with the pomp and gravity of a funeral. They're also broadcasting 19-hour-long operas and antiquing shows where they tell you why everything is garbage.

ORCS

Think of the most harrowing episode of television you've seen in your life. We're talking major character death. We're talking people dying for NOTHING, real "not Penny's boat" type shit. Like, Romeo committing suicide and then Juliet committing suicide immediately afterwards. Tonally speaking, this is to orcish TV what the "let's go to a hot spring!" episode of a shonen anime is.

PLATYDONTS

So, as a bit of backstory, the platydonts used to be humans but then had an Atlantis happen to them and were stuck in a ~2,000 mile wide time bubble for hundreds of thousands of years. So they're like, fish/seal guys. And I think they're doing soap operas too, but in the dwarvish soap operas, you can't even get to be a background character without an acting degree, and in a platydont soap opera, you can just walk on the set and someone's like, "Yeah, gimme a second, I'll write you in." BIG theater kid vibes from them. Dwarvish TV is serious and orcish TV is brutal, but platydont TV is 18-year-olds wailing and ripping their shirts off over a corpse who is trying to slyly check their phone.

ELVES

I don't expect anyone reading this to know what A Prairie Home Companion is, and truth be told I've never even listened to it either, but I feel like it's all just that. Just some guy in a rocking chair in a plain white studio, "Saw a ladybug the other... you used to see a lot of them in the summer." Bob Ross shows for growing bonsai trees and shaping stalactites. Panel shows where there's even less of a point to the game and it's just four elves like, "You remember how they used to make flour out of acorns in 2749 BA? That was nice. Can't get them like that any more."

PIXIES

Pixies, unlike most of the other sentient species of Tor, were formed from clay and, despite standing about three inches tall, can take a hell of a lot more of a beating than humans. They're making police procedurals where they're shooting at one another with real guns for real and they're fine. Tonight on Pixie Jackass, Merry Brightberry is going to fell a 95-foot-tall oak tree directly on Gorgeous Sunset's head and then cast a spell to make the tree explode, levelling the forest for 500 yards around it. Gorgeous Sunset comes out rubbing his jaw, "Oh, you fuckin' rascal!"

GNOMES

I think gnomes are mostly against television as a concept, but if you gave a gnome a camcorder, you're getting, like, Worker and Parasite back. They're watching Un Chien Andalou and laughing and clapping at some parts and getting pissed off and storming out of the theater at others, and there's no apparent context as for why. Everything is in five-hundred layers of innuendo and metaphor. Peeling back all the layers usually reveals an unfortunately conservative moral, but even then, it's like, "It is a man's RIGHT to stew a pumpkin for three days and three nights under the mullberry bush. And the woke left DOESN'T want you to know."

[wholegrainvore]

heres a silly valentin drabble

By the time the dusty old house was cleared, Valentin had crammed eight gnomes, six fairies, and a fluffy down his gullet. The fluffy was a pleasant dessert to his hunt; the small creatures were always so tasty and docile, and this one barely struggled at all as he gulped it down greedily. 

“Ah, mercy,” he groaned, rolling his knuckles against his bulging gut. “Gotta — mmm… show my work to the nice lady. You all calm down in there.”

He gave his middle a pat and made his way to the front door, stepping out into the afternoon sun.

“Oh! Young man, you’ve finished with those pests?”

Valentin belched into his fist, shooting the witch a charming smile. “All taken care of, ma’am. Not one left.” His stomach gave a gentle groan, the creatures inside thrashing about to try and escape, and he hiccuped.

“Wonderful,” she praised, reaching into her apron and pulling out a tiny pouch of gold coins.

He received them gratefully, rubbing his gurgling stomach with his free hand as it worked hard to begin churning up its cargo. It was nice to be able to get a meal and pay in one fell swoop. 

*

“Mister! If you let me out, I’ll grant you a wish! Anything your heart desires!”

“Aww, precious,” Valentin chuckled, grinding his hand into the fatty flesh of his gut. Most of his hunt had been churned away, except for this one stubborn fairy that didn’t seem to want to digest.

“I’m —“ He started, before cutting himself off with a meaty belch. “Ah,” he purred, licking his lips. “Excuse me, love — I’m flattered, really, but all I wish is that you would start digesting nicely. I need to make room for tonight’s job, you see; I’m a busy man. Now, shhh…” He pushed insistently at his stomach, trying to stimulate the organ to work harder.

The fairy pouted and gave the wall of his belly a firm kick. “You must want something! To be a mighty sorcerer, or a king… Come on, mister! Let me go!”

Valentin leaned back in his chair, the wooden frame giving a slight creak of protest from his weight, and stroked his hand over the slope of his stomach soothingly.  “Come now, my dear. I get rid of little pests like you for a nominal fee. My clients trust me to thin out your populations; if I were to let you little things go afterwards, I wouldn’t really be doing my job, would I?”

The fairy harrumphed and sulked in the depths of his gut, and Valentin patted his belly fondly. “Don’t be so disappointed, little one… All of your friends have already succumbed to my gut; isn’t it nice and warm in there? Don’t you want to join them? Just — urp — get comfortable and quit squirming. Accept that you're only food to me.”

The fairy grumbled but eventually stopped struggling, and Valentin gave a satisfied sigh. “That’s a good girl," he said through a yawn, stretching grandly in his chair. His hand came down to rest over his stomach, and he marvelled for a moment about how large he'd become. When he’d first gotten into the extermination business, he'd been ... not exactly trim, but at least he had a bit of definition to his frame. Now, he'd become a mountain of a man. He'd gained enough fat and muscle to become quite the imposing figure; huge, strong arms and shoulders, a gut that could hold two or three grown men, a soft and impressive chest - and he was still growing.

 Valentin let out another yawn, his eyelids growing heavy. A nap before his next job sounded very nice; a young paladin had sought him out to clear out a sacred forest of imps and wood-sprites. He dreaded the task when he already felt so nicely sated and sleepy, but he wasn’t too averse to the idea of being paid to stuff himself silly.

[inbabylontheywept]

Master Post of Writings and Series

HFY Science Fiction That Isn't a Ship, It's a Cannon with FTL! Military fiction revolving around space pirates and a railgun someone strapped an FTL drive to. There are three parts, the link above should let you scroll through the whole series. Like Sharks A short fic based on the prompt "Humans are the only ones to actually develop FTL. Everyone else just uses wormholes." The Scattering Experimental piece. I normally do prose, but I tried a poem. Inspired by the Dark Forest Theory. "So...What's the biggest gun you've ever made?" First installment starring Earl, a weapons designer. In this episode he explains the basics of fission-based fusion weapons, their applications in throwing things into orbit. Also stars a horny lobsterman. "R&D? More like R&Deez Nuts" Second installment starring Earl. This is a laser tag fight starring the R&D division, accounting, and sales. There will be male bonding. Or else. "Yeah, sure, and I shit thermite. Be serious." Earl drinks until he pukes. Aliens learn that humans produce hydrochloric acid for digestion. The Vengabus is Coming! A pinned down group of soldiers has to call in a human tank for backup. Shock and awe does not begin to describe it. Hold Your Breath and Burn The bad news is that he's gonna die in space. The good news is that he can make it count. "I will solve you if I must." The last tool of diplomacy is threats. Burning Bridges You don't have to kill a soldier to keep them from being a combatant. "I think we underestimated the scale of the human species by eight or nine orders of magnitude." In which humans turn out to be the swarm. Party Favors Humanity solved mortality. It did not solve boredom. Now it's everyone's problem. Starring my creepiest humans, a lot of drugs, and the leasy sexy descriptions of sex I could make.

HFY Fantasy Small, Fragile, and Destined to Die There's something to be said for spitting in the face of death. Sometimes, literally. "Healing+Lightning=Wizard Launcher" Unconventional spell uses let a wizard punch above his weight. And bite. And kick. Human wizards make a lot of ruckus. An Honorary Troll A wizard fights a troll. It is not a very wizardly fight. I considered it a very loose sequel to the story above it, but both can absolutely be read separately. Dale of the Dales A two part series about a human protecting a town of halflings from an army of gnomes with the power of hospitality, and also being comparatively massive. Why Human's Can't Cast On the properties of superconductors and golden gods. The Thunder God of Honnillee A human is adopted by a halfling. What Talon and What Dreadful Claw Tragedy with a man and a spynx.

Unsorted Fictions Leviathan A necromancer scours the depths of hell for a soul worthy of his creation. He finds more than he bargained for. Odysseus in Space (It's very, very good) Biographical Pieces Soviet Birds A comedy of errors is resolved by the Vessel of Bird Sacrifice. The Kitchen Labyrinth of Missile Science Why does a classified facility with 30 people at it have 7 kitchens? What would you do if I told you it has seven of every kind of room? The Fridges. Oh my God, the Fridges. It also has 20 fridges in it. Obviously. Kevin vs. Intro to Quantum You would be surprised at the kind of intellectual challenges random bystanders can take. I certainly was. Layman walks in and becomes the class mascot. The Condom Bomber In which I fuck up. Videos None of these are narrated by me, but I thought I'd list them here for anyone that prefers listening to reading. Like Sharks, read by Grey Voice. He focuses on smooth reading. Like Sharks, read by Aggro Squirrel. He has a theatrical voice. Like Sharks, read by NetNarrator. He has a fast, clipped style. The Vengabus is Coming & Burning Bridges 2 for 1 by Aggro Squirrel. "Yeah, and I shit thermite. Be serious." by Net Narrator. "So, what's the biggest gun you've ever made?" by Aggro Squirrel.

[quizzievivicalavellan]

How to Make Me Smile

In which Gale helps Aster fall asleep after a nightmare and Aster talks in her sleep. Occurs in the Underdark after confronting Nere.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53341882/chapters/142956958

**************************

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

A swipe of a hand, a body flying through the air.

Screams echoed. And laughter. Nere, teeth bared in a wicked smile. Red-hot fire reflected in his eyes.

Lava spreading, engulfing everything. At the center, a gnome, crying in agony. Flesh melting, exposing blood and bone. Lips half burned away. “Help me! Help me…”

*GASP*

Aster woke with a start. Her eyes shot open, and the gruesome image of melting flesh was replaced with the familiar walls of her tent, barely visible in the gloom of the Underdark. Her breath came in ragged, shallow gasps and her heart felt as if were trying to escape her chest. As she sat there shaking in the dark, the gasps turned to sobs, and her eyes stung with unspilled tears.

The same nightmare, now three nights in a row. Each time it seemed to affect her even more than the last. After everything she’d been through recently, most would find it odd that the death of a single gnome would be what finally gave her nightmares, yet that was the truth. Honestly, despite the mind flayers, the parasites, the goblins, and every other threat and horror of her adventure so far, she had been enjoying it. Her new friends actually valued her opinions and looked to her for guidance. She’d been able to help people, and she’d felt such a rush of happiness and victory and appreciation partying into the night with the tieflings after saving them from the goblins. She felt important for the first time in her life, like a hero in the stories the caretakers at the orphanage used to read when she was a child.

She’d been a fool.

People like her, like that gnome that Nere had cast aside like she was nothing, weren’t heroes. They were pawns in the universe’s great game of lanceboard, mere sacrifices for the truly important players. And Nere, though more formidable and horrible than Aster had anticipated, was far from the most important player in the Absolute’s army. How was a nobody like her supposed to defeat such a powerful foe? It was impossible. She felt so small and weak and insignificant as she sobbed into the darkness. The gloomy, cramped interior of her tent felt as suffocating as the growing dread in her heart. Aster wrapped a blanket around herself and stepped outside, hoping a walk might soothe her mind.

It was impossible to tell night from day in the Underdark; only the quiet of the camp and her own tiredness betrayed the lateness of the hour. Aster longed for the lush flora and cool breeze of nighttime forests that had always brought her peace, but the druid had to admit that the Underdark had its own kind of natural beauty. Instead of trees and shrubs, mushrooms of all colors and shapes decorated the subterranean landscape. Many varieties glowed defiantly in the gloom, shining across the ground like a mirror of stars in the night sky.  

The mushrooms weren’t the only things glowing. Light emanated from one of the tents in the camp – Gale’s. It seemed she wasn’t the only one having difficulty sleeping. Then again, Gale was a night owl by nature and could often be found lost in a book in the wee hours of the night. The thought brought a small smile to Aster’s lips despite the heaviness of her heart.

Gale – in the short time she’d known him, she’d grown quite fond of the wizard. A blush crept into her cheeks as a memory popped into her mind. Aster had been so embarrassed when she had accidentally imagined kissing him while they had been connected by the Weave that she’d almost run away. But then, she’d felt his surprise and trepidation morph into elation “A pleasant image, to be sure.” He had imagined it before too.

And yet, save for some stolen glances, subtle touches, and flirtatious exchanges, their relationship had remained imaginary, both of them too scared to make it real. Something real could hurt, something real could be lost. Aster was too familiar with heartbreak and found it hard to let someone close enough to hurt her that way again. She cared deeply for Gale, and he seemed to care a great deal for her, but it was difficult to be certain of the truth of his feelings. Between the fallout of his disastrous relationship with Mystra, the orb, and the parasite, he might just need someone to grasp onto in the middle of the chaotic storm of his life. Would he still need her, when it was over?

Aster blinked away her troubled thoughts and found herself right outside Gale’s tent, unaware that she had even been walking toward it, drawn to that warm light like a moth to a flame. Her hand hovered over the flap of the tent. Part of her wanted nothing more than to go inside and throw her arms around him and let herself cry into his chest. For him to hold her and tell her everything would be alright.

But the other part of her made her draw her hand away from the entrance and turn back toward her own tent. The part that didn’t want him to see her so shaken and weak, eyes red and tearstains on her cheeks. She took a deep breath to try and pull herself together. She needed to be strong enough to face whatever dangers lie ahead. More than that, she needed them, and him especially, to believe that she was. With a sigh, she took the first step away from the warm glow of Gale’s tent.

****

Gale couldn’t sleep. This was far from unusual for him, but it was frustrating, nevertheless. Although his body felt tired, the minute his head hit the pillow his mind started racing with the couple of dozen things he ought to be worried about at the moment, and several dozen others he likely had no need to worry about, though every day it was getting increasingly difficult to tell the difference.

To give his overactive mind something else to mull over, Gale cracked open one of the newer tomes he had found on his adventure, Fringe Philosophy, Vol. 5. by Taura Brinn, who had some fascinatingly radical opinions on the study of more forbidden magics. As he reached a chapter on implications of Netherese magic study for the understanding of the nature of the Weave, he heard a noise outside the tent.

It was probably just the baby owlbear their troupe had somehow ended up adopting. Owlbears were nocturnal creatures by nature, and the little scamp could often be heard getting into trouble at night. Still, he supposed he ought to make sure the noise wasn’t something dangerous. Well, more dangerous, anyway. Gale was not entirely convinced that the owlbear wouldn’t grow up and decide to attack them all, but Aster did have a way with animals, and he could hardly protest after seeing her smile when it showed up at their camp for the first time.

He put the book aside, leaving it open on the blanket to keep his spot, and walked quietly to the entrance of the tent. He carefully pulled away the flaps and peered out into the dark camp, gently lit by the glow of hundreds of mushrooms. He looked down and saw a familiar head of red curls start moving away from the tent.

“Aster, is something wrong?” he whispered, stepping outside the tent. She flinched in surprise and stopped walking but didn’t turn around.

“Sorry, I… I didn’t mean to bother you,” she whispered back, pulling the blanket tighter around herself.

“Nonsense, you are never a bother.” He pulled back the flap of the tent with one hand and gestured toward the entrance with the other. “Would you like to come in?”

Finally, she turned around. Their eyes met for a moment before she looked away, turning her face as if trying to hide it behind the thick curtain of her hair. It was obvious from her red, puffy eyes that she had been crying. Gale realized then that this was the first time he had seen her cry, and his heart ached at the sight. He had a sudden urge to hug her, but he didn’t want to overstep and make her uncomfortable, so instead he kept holding open the tent until she stepped inside.

She sat down cross-legged on one of the blankets strewn across the floor and he sat down next to her on top of his bedroll. They sat there for what felt like a long time in uncomfortable silence. Finally, unable to bear the quiet any longer, Gale started to ask “Do you want to talk about –“ but Aster interrupted him before he could finish the question.

“What are you reading?” she asked, pointing to the open book on the ground next to him. While the deflection tactic was obvious, Gale let her get away with it.

“Fringe Philosophy, Vol. 5. The author makes some fascinating points on the potential costs, benefits, and implications of the study of Netherese magic. It is rather technical and verbose; I doubt it would interest you.”

“That sounds perfect.” She paused for a moment before speaking again. “Would you… read it to me?” she asked shyly.

 “Umm, yes I… sure, I can do that,” Gale stammered out, taken aback by the request. Without another word Aster rolled up her blanket into a makeshift pillow, set it down next to his bedroll, and laid down on her back. Gale followed her lead and laid down beside her. He picked up the book again in one hand, resting the base of it against his chest, and began to read aloud in hushed voice just slightly above a whisper. “Consider, if you will, what an understanding the formation and structure of the Karsite Weave might reveal about the metaphysical essence of…” As he read, the sound of her breathing slowed and deepened.  

After several pages, he felt a weight press against his side. He looked down to see Aster’s head resting on his shoulder, her arm draped across the left side of his chest. The book almost slipped from his hand, but he caught it and set it down gently before it could fall and wake her up. Her hand brushed unconsciously down his chest, and both his heart and the orb pulsed rapidly beneath her touch. He couldn’t pretend he hadn’t pictured it before, lying next to her, her hands on his skin, kisses hot and breathless...

He took a deep breath to calm himself. The orb thrummed dangerously at the rush of emotion and desire, a reminder of why he had not acted on his feelings for her. Well, part of the reason, anyway. The other major factor was his lingering doubt that she actually felt that way about him. Sure, he had seen that imagined kiss through their connection in the Weave, but she had seemed embarrassed and perhaps it was just a passing fantasy brought on by the warm embrace of the Weave. Many of their conversations after had seemed flirtatious, but Gale was sorely out of practice at detecting that sort of thing and had not been particularly gifted at it to begin with.

That was all true, but the biggest source of doubt was thus: what could she possibly see in him? He was a disgrace, a failure, a mere shell of his former self with but a fraction of the power he once wielded. Once, great feats of magic had come to him as naturally as breathing, and now even the simplest spells sometimes proved challenging. The great archmage Gale of Waterdeep, reduced to the ability of a novice by his own recklessness. He would do anything for her, give her everything he could, but he knew he had little to offer. She would realize that, sooner or later, and then she’d have no more use for him. He couldn’t go through that, not again…

“Mmhmm, Gale,” Aster murmured, bringing Gale back to the present.

“Yes?” Gale whispered, looking down at her head resting on his shoulder. Her eyes were closed, and she seemed to still be asleep.

“Gale, you’re… sosweet,” she said, sleep slurring her words together. “Youalways… knowhowto… make me smile.”

And she was smiling. All the worry and sadness that had been weighing on her when she was standing outside his tent were gone from her peacefully sleeping face. It was as if she had read his mind, had heard his doubts and answered them. Yes, that was something he could do. He could try to be a source of comfort, a laugh, and a smile in these uncertain times, make her burdens a little bit lighter. It might not be much, but it was something.

“Scraaaaatch,” Aster whined in her sleep, her dream clearly having changed subject. “Wyll’s boots arenotforeating!... Good boy,” Aster mumbled, petting Gale’s chest as if he were the camp dog. Gale stifled a laugh, trying not to wake her.

“Goodnight, Aster,” he whispered, tucking a stray curl of red hair behind her ear. He closed his eyes as sleep finally washed over him, the two of them lying there together, both smiling as they dreamed.

[dimension20npcofalltime]

Round Two - Bracket Three [Dimension 20 NPC of All Time]

Calroy Cruller vs Chungledown Bim

Descriptions under the cut

Calroy Cruller - He/Him

Campaign: A Crown of Candy

Who is he?

Lord Calroy "Cal" Cruller is the Marquis of Muffinfield, and King Amethar's best friend and right hand. He is also officially recognized as the ruler of Candia for a time, after staging a coup against House Rocks, until they return to Castle Candy with allies to overthrow him again.

"That mother. fucking. piece. of cake... In those hot. ass. pants..." ― Ally Beardsley on Lord Calroy Cruller

Why is he the NPC of All Time?

"A friend and pal until he isn’t anymore, one of the best reveals and subsequent villain speeches in d20 history, and he has AMAZING pants also, the end of acoc where lou crits w/ payment day for the first time in the campaign on cruller is such a fantastic moment."

Submitted by: @hanna-lulu

Chungledown Bim - He/Him

Campaign: Dimension 20 LIVE

Who is he?

Bimothy, more commonly known as Chungledown Bim, is a gnome pirate from Leviathan and a warlock of Bill Seacaster. He has an impressive beard that looks like it is made of six mustaches, and an assortment of snaggle-teeth all made of different materials. "Bim" is short for Bimothy. His magic takes the form of gold coins shooting out of his hands.

Why is he the NPC of All Time?

He started a rivalry with Fabian for no reason other than that Fabian wasn't a very good pirate (he never claimed to be). He threatens to shit in Fabian's mouth and chases him across Leviathan. Fabian is so terrified of Chungledown Bim that he appears to him in the Nightmare Forest. Cassandra says that she never sent Fabian a vision of Chungledown Bim suggesting that it was really him haunting Fabian.

Submitted by: @xvynth

[ashenquill]

Hello Tumblr, I am back with more headcanons!!1!1!

Beware of Hermitshipping in this one (it's not the focus but it's mentioned)

Bdubs. He doesn't have a full legal name, he's just Bdubs. On paperwork, he will sometimes put "Bee Double", but it's no more than a formality. It's pretty well-known that "Bdubs" is technically a nickname, but whenever someone tries to ask okay, but what's your real name?, he just keeps talking like they never said anything. Most people brush this off, but anyone who is highly-attuned to and proficient in magic will realize that, although Bdubs seems like an open book, they don't actually know that much about him.

Hybrid-wise, Bdubs is a fae creature of unspecified origin, although he's most akin to that of a nymph (specifically a dryad) or a gnome (this isn't just a short joke, it's a short joke with a purpose). He is closely connected to the earth, and can manipulate anything that comes from the earth, though he doesn't do it often. He is also able to make illusions and move at higher speeds than should be possible, which makes it very easy for him to confuse and disorient people, especially those who don't know him.

Bdubs is a very devoted and hard-working person, and he is proud to boast that he works an impressive seven jobs. These include: owning and operating a coffee shop called "The Muhd Cafe" (or simply "Muhd"), Construction Supervisor & General Contractor, owning and operating a headshot shop (he does both pictures and paintings), owning and operating a plant nursery, owning a demolition company, part-time Scarland employee, and the esteemed Royal Advisor/Jester/Butler etc. Bdubs technically works part-time for all of these businesses, and co-owns most of them with other people. He has to keep busy to not become restless, and it shows.

Some details for each buisness:

Muhd - Co-owner: Etho Slab. Affectionately nicknamed "Wet Dirt" by Etho and most employees. Bdubs hates this nickname. Bdubs uses his hybrid abilities to make coffee faster than any gunslinger in the Wild West, and frequently leaves his customers disoriented. Because of this -- and despite his protests --, he has been banned from working the counter unless there's a rush. This is Bdubs' "favorite" job (he swears he doesn't have a favorite, but he comes here most frequently), and he lives in an apartment above the coffee shop.

Bdubs' Head Shop - Sole owner: Bdubs. Sourced from a van with all of his art and photography supplies, and only appears on occasion. Bdubs has a glowing reputation, and any time the shop appears in the city, he gets heavy foot traffic.

Moss O Menos - Plant nursery located near Muhd. Bdubs is technically the sole owner, but the store's manager, Gemini Tay, runs the place in his absence and is basically a co-owner at this point.

Boomer's Demolition - Co-owners: Tango Tek and Impulse S-V. Their office is located in a tnt factory, so they typically do business over the phone or through emails. They have a terrible reputation and don't get many customers, so all three have other jobs.

Other details about Bdubs:

Smell = earthy, mossy, and also the unholy mix of his ten thousand jobs (coffee, oil, paint, gunpowder, churros, etc.)

Hybrid: forest nymph/gnome type of thing (connects to nature easily, can move faster than normally possible, often causes small-scale abnormal events)

Book smart - Special knowledge of customer service, architecture, and color theory

Likes: Etho, working, Etho, helping people, keeping busy, Etho, Etho, Etho

Dislikes: minor inconveniences 

Passions: brightening someone’s day, serving others

Habits/other details: thinks he has street smarts but could get conned by a shady guy in a trenchcoat, this is actually how he ended up marrying Etho, no I will not elaborate

Active in his environment - hates being idle, needs constant change to not get bored, and is willing to make it EVERYONE’S problem

Perfect sleep schedule, major early bird, gotta shreep

[triplenoided]

Alright, tell us everything we need to know about Vrekos and Dvorik.

dvorik is a tiny little pain in the ass, a rustblood with the typical telekinetic powers and spiritual communication abilities. he likes abrasive music (favorite artist is Death Grubs) both as its fitting to his abrasive personality and he uses out to drown out the pestering voices of the dead. his lusus is a mutated anthropomorphic beast that looks like a big malnourished gnome that has two heads, sets of arms, and three legs, called two-face by everyone. his lusus frequently swaps between displaying a gentle paternal personality and a harsh, relentlessly punishing one. his lusus, when in asshole mode, gouged out dvorik’s eye when he was 9 sweeps, leaving him a cyclops with a nasty scar. dvorik often times ponders killing twoface but is hesitant due to his connection with the gentler side of the beast. dvorik lives in a large clearing/meadow in a densely forested island called ayubov. he makes some money and passes most of his time by slaying beasts and butchering them in his meat shack, smoking and curing and drying the meat for consumption and to trade/sell. he has a close connection with rabbits (hop/lopbeasts) and his best friend is the spirit of a dead rabbit named Krol. his other main hobby is sculpting small vessels and rabbit sculptures out of clay, using a kiln in his meatshack. he weaves baskets at times. dvorik is aggressive and antagonizing to everyone he comes across at first, and can take a while to open up to others as he fears vulnerability. he is a hairy and aggressive little motherfucker and his voice claim is christopher from the sopranos. dvoriks god tier if it ever came to it would be seer of doom.

vrekos, on the other hand, is a violet seadweller with a mutation giving him white hair. he is a trans man and performed his own top surgery due to his very high pain tolerance. vrekos has spent most of his life isolated in the harsh desert climate of Thaneria, a continent near ayubov. he lived by an oasis with his bizarre and overbearing lusus, who is sort of a large bat/shark hybrid. vrekos was unable to leave his hive for most of his life because of the controlling nature of his custodian. he spent most of his time reading and surfing forum boards to get into debates with other users over moral dilemmas and such. he is a bit of an edgelord. his complete isolation and unstable home environment left him initially confused about emotions and how to tell what he was feeling at any given time. his lusus would leave to kill lusii and bring them back for vrekos to eat. this situation became more dire when the lusus started killing other trolls and forcing vrekos to eat them.

dvorik and vrekos met over trollian, and initially did not care for each other. dvorik found vrekos obnoxious as vrekos liked to play mind games of asking dvorik hypotheticals surrounding topics of cannibalism and “what would you do…” type scenarios. dvorik referred to him as a “sick fuck”. when dvorik used his spiritual manipulation to hijack a spirit inside vrekos’ hive and take a look at him (as he tends to do to freak out others for his entertainment) he became flustered by the violet’s appearance, and developed a fascination for him. the two continued talking and eventually softened up to each other, leading to the two sharing red feelings towards each other. they flirted and beat around the bush for a while.

when vrekos’ lusus began bringing him dead troll and forcing vrekos to engage in cannibalism, vrekos and some of the others hatched a plan that vrekos needed to escape. dvorik aggressively took charge of this initiative, fearing for vrekos’ safety and wishing to free him. the rescue mission was led by dvorik and his kismesis auster legins, who is a purpleblood with very high strength abilities. dvorik frequently bickered with his rival, auster, over the mission, insisting he was in charge of it all. eventually dvorik, auster, and a few others (reglai perrii, metzli apomah, leivai attihn, and paziiz gonmak) left for thaneria to rescue vrekos. the group ended up slaying the lusus. auster and a couple others got some good blows in, limiting the beasts mobility. dvorik then snapped after seeing vrekos get hurt and nearly killed himself, pushing his abilities as far as he could. he ended up lifting the beast in the air and ripping it in half with psionics. after the beast was slain, the group split up to return to their respective hives.

dvorik and vrekos ended up taking reglai perrii, a gold blood who’s psionics had exploded during the altercation and nearly killed it, back to its hive. reglai recharged with its lusus as vrekos and dvorik stayed in reglai’s respiteblock. the two fags hadn’t had a chance to really talk or discuss where they stood romantically— or interact in person much at all — until this point. after a while of awkward tension, dvorik confessed to vrekos his red feelings and to the surprise of no one, they were reciprocated. the two shared a kiss and fell asleep holding each other.

vrekos and dvorik established their quadrant and after they assured reglai was okay and recovering well, they returned together to dvorik’s hive, where vrekos would now be living for the time being. vrekos spends much of his time reading and analyzing an old water damaged journal he found in his old hive (belonging to his ancestor, which he doesn’t know), and updating his blogs containing his findings online. dvorik spends most days out in the meatshack preparing food for the two and goods to trade.

the two live on a smaller planet that was claimed by the alternian navy called ichorav-13. it has three moons. i will answer any questions you have.

[brickcentral]

Review: LEGO Ideas 21348 Dungeons & Dragons

After many Lego Ideas attempts and a massively successful Ideas challenge campaign, Lego is finally releasing a set to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Dungeons and Dragons. The winner of the challenge, Dragon's Keep: Journey's End, designed by BoltBuilds, was selected through an exciting fan vote. Although the set is not an exact copy of the submission, which is to be expected, it delivers an incredible experience.

The sets presents itself like a One-Shot Adventure. There is a QR code with a link in the build instructions to download the adventure, with pre-designed characters and a few scenarios to feed the adventure. There is a brief description on the monsters and the characters and some intro to the Dungeons & Dragons history. Full disclaimer, I haven't had my hands on the actual adventure that comes with the set (the code does not work yet), so this is mostly based on intuition and guesses. I will try my best to avoid any spoilers.

If you are a DnD player, or even more a dungeon master, building the set itself is pure joy. As you go along creating the parts of the set, you also go along building secrets, treasures, traps, monster hideouts... No brick is placed randomly and there is a purpose for even the smaller space. You feel like you are preparing the stage for your players.

The heroes and the NPCs

The adventure comes with four pre-designed heroes: A Dwarf Cleric, a Gnome Fighter, and Orc Rogue and an Elf Wizard. All three come with two different heads, male and female, with the exception of the orc that just has two different expressions. They are customizable up to a degree, including weapons and spells.

Besides the heroes, we have two NPCs: the innkeeper (also two heads for male/female) and a green dragonborn, which uses the head mould from the Vidiyo series.

The monsters

There is a surprisingly large selection of monsters in the set. A gelatinous cube (which was teased on social media), a beholder, an owlbear, a mimic (or two?), a displacer beast, a treant, two Myconid? (I'm not sure if that's what they are meant to be), several skeletons and a large red dragon.

The smaller monsters are all brick-built and very well made, in perfect proportion for the heroes and to fit inside the scenarios. The owlbear and the beholder however might be too big to put inside the buildings or ruins though, so maybe they will just appear in specific places, but both of them are gorgeous builds.

The dragon itself is huge and beautiful, but delicate. I keep having to reattach the legs often when trying to pose it. The head also keeps looking down, since there is not much friction on the ball joint and the head is too big and heavy for it. And yes, there are printed tiles for the eyes! They are just almost impossible to see behind the horns.

The scenarios

The set is divided into four different builds with their respective books of instructions: the inn, the forest/dungeons, the tower, and the dragon. All three have different styles and building techniques, so it makes the building experience entertaining. I'm not a fan of the blue/purple roof of the inn, but I agree that it needed a color pop to separate it from the rest of the build and the dragon.

All three are open in the back, to allow the players to move around. For a toy photographer, this gives the chance to shoot many different scenes. They are also modular and can be easily separated, I'm assuming to allow players to go around discovering each one individually as they explore the environment. On their own, the scenarios are small, so I'm guessing movement will have to be limited or counted by studs.

Everyone knows a good adventure starts and ends on an inn. Our heroes need a place to rest and prepare for the coming adventure, so I'm guessing this is where the adventure will begin.

Some details will have to be described by the Dungeon Masters, otherwise I don't see how four players's heads can look into the tiny inn and say: "Hey, I want to investigate the chest, it looks interesting" or "That brick has a different color, I want to know if I can move it". It will also look very cramped if all four minifigures try to be in the same room investigating or fighting a monster.

There are already a few secrets on the inn for the more curious adventurers, and food and drinks for the more relaxed ones.

As they leave the inn they will most likely step into the forest, and from there, several paths can be followed. One could go through the ruins, or the dungeons, explore both, or find a completely new path to the tower (which I assume is the final destination).

On the way, there will be treasure to be found, weapons and spells, some potions... These are things to prepare for the upcoming final battle. But to get to those there will be monsters and traps and mysteries to be solved.

As with the inn, the space is very small to see and put all the players in, so the Dungeon Master must be very involved in describing and hinting so the players can be more successful at finding these secrets.

Eventually, they would reach the tower where there is a climb up to the adventure finale. I don't want to show much there to avoid spoilers, but the same applies here. Secrets to be found and possibly the story will unfold into an unexpected conclusion.

Verdict

With a high price of 359,99€/$359.99 and 3745 pieces, it is a large and expensive set. But for both LEGO and Dungeons & Dragons fans, if you can afford it, this one is worth it. The joy of physically building the adventure and being able to play with the characters and monsters is for me what makes it so great.

I also believe that most of the scenes are rather a visual reference than a playing grid, it does feel small for four players to move around and still be able to see the surroundings, let alone have full battles in a few squared studs. But I'm more than happy to try!

I would also say that fans of medieval fantasy would probably enjoy the set, but perhaps some of the lore will pass unnoticed. However, for those who are not DnD or Medieval theme fans, it might not be worth it at all.

As a toy photographer, heavily invested in fantasy themes, I love all the different backgrounds and characters that come with the set. It feels like there are so many storytelling possibilities, so many moments to capture, and it has so much potential for modifications. You could add your own characters for the story, add a few more treasures and traps, or create your own adventure.