#the three gnomes in the forest

[qyuryyus]

baldur's gate 3 fans hmu

[superkirbylover]

FINALLY!!! the VERY final refs for the ponified cast of pizza tower. everypony has the same name except for pizzahead, who's called pizzahoof. pizzahoof was also designed by @c0met-dr01d!! go check them out :]

under the cut is me rambling about their cutiemarks (or lack thereof) and other design choices

gustavo's cutiemark is a pizza with three mushroom toppings, because he's a chef, and earlier in pizza tower development, he was a gnome! this isn't the case anymore though, but i still like to think he is. that, and i just associate him with gnome forest, so it felt fitting. plus, i suppose it adds to the mario comparisons lmao

peppino's cutiemark is a pepperoni pizza alongside a pizzacutter. i know people are raising eyebrows at the pepperoni, but my excuse is... uhh, they're not actually pepperoni. it's like, some vegetarian alternative. probably made of flowers or some shit. the pizza is obvious, he's a chef and he cooka-da-pizza. the pizza cutter isn't just to hammer that in, but it's also a callback to the various times throughout pizza tower development where he used to have a pizza cutter buzz-saw! especially in pizza massacre

noise's cutiemark is a bomb with its fuse lit, because it represents his explosive personality and he often uses bombs. dude is wacky, unpredictable and can be a feral fucking thing. also something about acting, being a mascot or being in the showbiz somewhere in the mix. he has a tail, but it's just... in his suit. he's a dumbass

noisette's cutiemark is a ruby chocolate bar. she runs a cafe, and while she presumably has Really Weird Taste, i figured it would be a really cute fit for her. it's sweet, just like her! and pink. just like her!

fake peppino deliberately does not have a cutiemark. it's to add to the sense of "failed clone," where many aspects of peppino have been successfully recreated (body type, hair color, coat color, outfit, facial hair) but other small things have been muddled or changed by mistake (height, eyes not staying in their sockets, hair being more smooth looking, face shape). not to mention, he's made of dough, like his original clone counterpart. in the show, it's established that only ponies can have cutiemarks. while he looks like a pony, who's to say he really is one?

stick's cutiemark is that television hud you see when you have enough money to buy a boss gate in pizza tower. i chose this cause on top of being a tv, a reoccurring object throughout the game, it also has some modifications to make it more... stick-y. it has his hat and a propeller coming from the top, and if you know stick, that man likes to make shit, specifically to sell and make money. that's also why there's a money sign in the tv. stick has a tail stub but i never really draw it myself. he's completely bald. mind you, he still has his coat, but no mane, no tail. zilch. he's a bald motherfucker. also stick's magic color is green

pizzahoof also does not have a cutiemark. he's a fucking cheese pony, why would he need one? dude just exists to be silly and whimsical. giving him one i feel would go against his character of just being clownish, doing what he wants when he wants, regardless if it means others suffer because of him or not. also, he's MADE of CHEESE!!!

[achromant]

AND HERE WE ARE! My project for the gw2 'zine!

Featuring Baruhn, reflecting on his life so far, the challenges, the small sparks of joy, the horrors, loss and gain.

For clarification's sake; I did in fact plan to depict every stage of Baruhn's life, but uuh. File was already too big.

Might do a series of short comics (graphic novels?) though, because i fking love storytelling.

Let's look at my idiotic level of detail a bit, eh?

[Long Text Ahead]

Baruhn's story begins in the Plains of Ashford. An unsuccessful attempt to stem the tide of Ascalonian Ghosts leads to the demise of many year-long allies. Dozens of brave soldiers gave their life for a mere week of peace until the ghosts reformed. They always do. Soldiers don't.

Shaken in his faith in the Legions, the first seeds of doubt arise.

Until finally he found someone to trust with his pain. In a tavern at the edge of the Black Citadel, he gets to know this odd fellow, who is continuosly follow by the faint smell of sulfur. Although Baruhn knew where that path led, the warmth radiating from the old veteran in front of him was not only a physical, but an emotional one.

With the Three Legions busy with their internal quarrels, fighting over an empty promise, Baruhn took the first steps down a previously thought to be dark path.

Surprisingly, die Flame Legion was welcoming, their fires offered light and guidance, the embers igniting the skies like stars. Surely this was better than the cold metal over the Black Citadel.

Baruhn took to learning first, handling the small flames with ease after years of throwing fireballs at ghostly shapes. Then, he figured out how to teach, and that is where the real magic comes from. Nurturing a flame, protecting it from harsh winds, adding a bit of kindling and coal here and there. He even taught the more elusive ways of magic that wield smoke and ash.

Baruhn knew about the war, the countless lifes lost on the other side of the fence. But those were humans, and here he was among family.

That is, until he met Molly.

After a small recon mission that was assured not to be much of a hurdle, Baruhn found himself alone in a forest. The small fires he conjured for light and warmth only drew in the nearby villagers. Those with pitchforks and torches, with crude swords and a thirst for blood. He couldn't really bring himself to hate them, this was war after all. But at what cost are these battles to be won?

Trying to escape the villagers was a futile attempt. He sank to the ground, his own hot blood dousing the little flames beneath his weary head.

For some reason - maybe hope, maybe resignation - he forced open his heavy eyes, only to discover his wounds cleaned and bandaged with fragile white cloth. A small human girl, of all things in this damned forest, tried to help. Even in his weakened state, even with just one hand, Baruhn could have easily grabbed her and cracked her skull. But the only thing he did was listen. He listened to the ramblings of the small human, going on and on about faries made of leaves and gnomes of stone. She called him "bear".

When the villagers came, they saw the girl at his side. That was all it took for them to turn on her. She was to be executed like that beast that now slowly stepped in front of her. For the first time, Baruhn spoke to the girl. "close your eyes."

Fire roared, not red, not orange. not a warm, welcoming fire. Not one that belongs in a hearth, that thrives in the arms of a family. This was so much worse. This was years of inner conflict, of doubt, of closing his eyes on the other side of the fence. For the first time in his life, this was the only thing that he wanted to do, protect the little insignificant human behind him. Fire roared, and it burned wood and it burned flesh.

Baruhn picked up the little girl, she held tight to his horns, nestled in his mane. He ran for hours, years of military training finally useful. The little girl, Molly, lost her mother years ago. She burned in the fires of a war she tried to escape. "And your father? What about your family?", he asked between deep breaths. Molly was quiet for a while, then whispered, her voice barely audible, "My father burned today."

They stayed together, for quite a while. He protected her, and she, with her head full of stories, and a book full of dreams, protected him.

Things came, things went. Baruhn rejoined the High Legions, acting as a spy for Ash, keeping an eye on Iron and Blood.

Baruhn ultimately took on his role as Novice, then Archivist, then Commander. He helped during the struggles against Scarlet. A small flame here and there, some shrouding smoke, a well timed lightning strike. It was other people that finally defeated Scarlet, but he was always in the background, with all the small things at just the right time.

Mordremoth came, but with him new allies.

It was but a small tangent in the grand scheme of things. Watching the fragile sapling while waging war on the jungle itself.

Their relation was something more than friendship, something else than love. They were there for each other when they needed to be. Be it only to keep a flame burning or to banish the voices to the back of the head again, they walked the same path for a long time.

Tarir, the Egg. Aurene. A new flame entrusted to him, his to nurture, his to raise. A gamble, again. What if that little flame would some day devour the world? But Baruhn did, what he could do best. Teach.

Darker times came. Caudecus and the White Mantle. The raid on the Mursaat's prison. Then facing the last Mursaat himself.

Balthazar came, and in his wake a new kind of fire. A war, similar to the ones Baruhn had seen before, but still different. A war without a cause, war for war's sake. War against nature, against the world, like a child lashing out when there were none to help them up. Maybe Balthazar's flames were not too different from his.

After the festering swamp that Joko was, came the mountain, Kralkatorrik. Death was not a hindrance anymore, not for the Commander and his dragon. The story went as the story goes.

When it came to face the frost, the whispers, Jormag. Everything fell apart. Jormag pried into the deepest, darkest corners of Baruhn's life, dragged every doubt, small as it may have been, into the light. In the ice, every truth was warped, encased in whispers, in lies. It suffocated any hope and planted even darker seeds than anyone thought possible.

It was the spirit of the Raven that aided Baruhn. Even the black feathers of its wings were shimmering like rainbows in the moonlight.

A small piece stayed with him, just a fragment. Nevermore.

After that, the stars themselves. Astralaria.

So many stories that make a life, so many pieces. Every encounter, every step along the way is another fragment of the whole. People are made of other people, that is what it means to be alive.

[sceletaflores]

•｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ wip wednesday!

thanks for the tag angel baby @guiltyasdave <3 �� 18+ under the cut! MDNI!

wip #1 • far too familiar a stranger…feat. logan howlett (& crimson!)

a long time ago, logan howlett knew a woman with your face…

i couldn’t not write a ‘worst!logan coming face to face with his tragically dead love interest but from wade’s universe after wade forced her to help them stop the TVA and hating her for bringing up that time in his life until he doesn’t anymore’ fic.

it's crimson because i felt that making whole new mutant reader would be sort of confusing so this fic is in the to the bone universe but it's not the same timeline...if that makes sense lmao

Wade Wilson is the worst neighbor in the entire fucking world. It’s really something you should have known sooner, like ‘the very first day in your new place ending with him breaking in through your window fully suited up after counting the floors wrong and bleeding all over your brand new pottery barn throw rug because he was still a little too concussed to walk’ sooner. Even after that whole fiasco left you with a broken window latch and a beyond fucked non-refundable $80 carpet, you still let yourself entertain his crazy. Just like everyone else whose life Wade crashed into, both physically or metaphorically. And once he's in, you can never really get him back out again. So yeah, maybe this whole thing is your fault. Maybe getting thrown into a barren, dusty void with two somewhat failed X-Men is just all your bad karma manifesting in one huge finger from the universe.

wip #2 • red and yellow kill a fellow! feat. logan howlett & wade wilson

logan doesn’t appreciate you letting wade get one up on him…

finally finally finally getting off my ass and writing logan x reader x wade! i was inspired by this one episode of satc (which is like my favorite show ever bee tee dubs) where charlotte goes out with two guys at the same time and she has sex with one but not the other until one of them catches her with the other guy and they all break it off.

my vision is a little different cause instead of getting mad and leaving when logan finds out reader fucked wade and not him, he figures it's his turn to get even. aka wade in the cuck chair and loving it.

The three of you pass a BMW sitting in a no parking zone, all four windows rolled down as Madonna blasts through the speakers. "So," Wade says, voice breaking the silence for the first time in five minutes. "Who white-washed your guts better?" You nearly trip over your own feet, whipping your head to gape at Wade. "Fucking excuse me?" "You know," Wade shrugs, like it's a perfectly normal thing to ask. The leisurely pace of his stroll not slowing, his hands still stuffed in the pockets of his jeans. "Who carved the lyrical railway better?" He just keeps going as you stare at him with a repulsed look on your face. "The number one stud that's stuffin' your muffin? That's takin the ol' bald-headed gnome for a satisfying stroll in the misty forest. Pick one hot stuff, they all mean the same thing." Before you can even answer there's a rough, questioning grunt from your right and your stomach flips. Oh. Logan, he was still here too. Still here and right next to you, listening. Oh yeah. "You fucked?" You still haven't slept with Logan yet. You turn to him face slowly, eyes a hair wide as you take in the sharp raise of his brow. "Um..." "Whoops," Wade snorts from somewhere behind your shoulder. "Cat's out the bag."

wip #3 • it's the easiest thing (just love me and eat me) feat. logan howlett

it’s not often that logan needs this, but you’re always more than happy to give it to him when he does…

the same requested sub!logan fic from last wednesday just with a new name and weirder energy! like this has really gotten away from me and turned into something that i can't really explain well enough to make it sound like chill...

lots of religious imagery and symbolism...and some metaphors of cannibalism...idk i'm just a girl with religious trauma and a weird blood fetish sue me.

You've come to think that being in bed with Logan is like being in church. The familiar weight of his body pressing you into the mattress is the alter. The heat of it like laying in the burning flame of a candle. The strong planes of his muscles each a different scripture that you take in by touch alone, skating your hands over his skin with something close to worship. Each bead of sweat on his skin feels sacred, a testament to the intensity between you, as though every part of him has been crafted for this moment of devotion. The hard length of his cock carves a place for itself inside you, each heavy smack of his hips punching another desperate sound out of your slack lips. His breath, deep and ragged, is a chant that pulls you into reverence. It puffs against the wild beat of your pulse, his lips brushing over the fever hot plane of your skin. The sound of your name pulled from his mouth sounds like a prayer answered. You can’t help but close your eyes, not in exhaustion, but in a kind of spiritual surrender, like by shutting out the world, you can truly grasp the divinity of it. There's a holiness to the way he holds you—like you’re the only thing worth believing in.

kisses!

no pressure tags! @ebodebo @artemis-b-writes @avocado-writing @superhoeva

[cosmic-spider]

Weclome to Gravity Falls

Lake cryptic >>

Looked out the window of the bus as it passes tall Pine trees. You here your two friends a few sets behind you talk and joke around.

You had came with your two friends Mable and Dipper Pines. To spend your summer in a small unknown town called Gravity Falls.

The place sounded familiar to you, but you brushed it of. Dipper and Mable were going to be living in there Grate Uncle  Stan's house called the Mystery Shack.

The S on the sign on top of the roof fell of. So it said Mystery hack instead. You on the other hand we're going to be in a cottage farther out in the woods.

So when you three got off the bus arriving in the town. The three of you agreed that you should all got things settled first. Then meet up at the Shack

As you told the twins that you would fallowed the detections on your phone of where the cottage was. You eventually found were the cotta would be.

In a big clearing in the woods the size of a football field. You looked around to see if anything was close by. After making sure the cost was clear you moved a rock of the side of a tree.

Under the rock was a hand scanner. Putting your hand on it. The scanner blue light scared your hand then it pricked your finder getting a blood sample.

The ground then started to slowly rumble as it then opens up as a small ordinary cottage house. You went inside and cleaned it up a bit since it was keeper neatly already.

Getting out of the cottage you then clapped your hands making the cottage to then shape shift into another looking home that was basically made in a giant tree.

You pulled out a key with a weird looking eye on it. Tre eye was black with a golden brown cat like ires.

The cottage was fantastic on the inside it took you a bit to clean up the place of its dust and spider webs. You then checked by our phone to see when the delivery truck was going to arrive.

You knew that this version of the house was the one you would be staying in the most. The other form was just a cover up. In a clap of your hand it can change from being one to the other. Even if you were inside of the house.

Looking at your the mirror in your room. You see what you look like. The way your hair was down to the shirts and shirt you had on.

Walking up the mirror you touch your right cheek and look into your eyes. "You know you need to keep this look of you want to stay hidden."

"It has to be this way."

"He told you you had to. Even if I want to tell the twins. You can't Y/n you know you can't."

shaking your head brushing off the felling, and get back to unpacking your stuff. As well as already getting things in there place.

Checking your phone you see that it was now 4 pm you arrived here around 1. "Well might as well get done groceries as well as other supplies."

As you walked into the forest bin the detection of the town you hear the muffled sound of a..... heavy stomping ?

Stoping in your takes you look around to see if anything is around you. "Naw it's probably a tree that fell down somewhere."

 As you continue to walk you eventually made it to the town. It was true to its name it was small. It looked more like a neighborhood of stores. The so called Mall was only two stories tall plus looked to be the average size of a Walmart.

Plus a lot of things were so close together. There was a bar only two stores down from a library.

After a bit you got everything you needed. As you walked back  to the forest you decided to pass by the  Mystery Shack. When you  turned the corner to get to the front door.

You see a giant monster made up of gnomes? You then see Mable and Dipper use a leaf blower as a rocket launcher to the giant gnome monster. Making all the gnomes scatter around the place. 

You see how tired Mable and Dipper were, so you decided to not go up to them at the moment. So instead you continued your way to your home.

When you got back you put your stuff of the kitchen table. Then getting your phone to text the twins.

They both said that it was ok that hey also had a tough day getting settled in as well.

After getting all the food into the fridge and pantry. Plus cleaning and other hygiene stuff in place/ stock.

You went to your room as got changed and got into bed.

》 ���━━━━━━━━ ⊱✫⊰ ━━━━━━━━━ 《

Time skip

The next day you wake up and do all your morning routine stuff. You then when over to your closet and moved some Jacket to reveal a secret door.

Opening it showed that it healed a not of glass containers with a orange looking liquid inside of it. You take on of the bottles and drink it all down. "Plah this tastes awful." Then changed into something cute.

Plus making your breakfast and taking some cash with you in case. Walking in the detection of the shake you see that's were are a few cars parked outside of it. Probably tourists.

Go into the shake throw the Gift shop area. You see a another teenager at the register. She had red hear and a green plad button up shirt with some boots on with a lumberjack hat on.

She had her feet up on the rejuntes desk as she read a magazine. Of to the other side of the gift shop. Was a tall middle aged man that had a green shirt with a question mark on it, and a brown cap on.

He seemed to be a handy was as he was fixing up a shelf and had a tool belt on. Walking over to the teen so see if the twins were here.

"Hey are Dipper and Maple Pines here?" The teen looked over at you from the side of her magazine before putting it down on the counter. "Yeah there here. Just give me a second."

She then got up and went over to a door next to the vending machine and yelled into the door. "Mable! Dipper! There's someone here for you!" You jumped a bit at the sudden yell she did for the twins.

She then got back to where she was. "Your not from here." She said as she then looked throw her phone.

" No I'm not. How could you tell?" You asked as you took a seat on a barrel next to her.

"Well when you live in a small town like this. You basically know everyone that lives here." The teen said then put her phone back into her pocket.

"So what's your name and how do you know the Pine twins?"

"Oh sorry forgot to introduce my self there. Im y/n and I'm a friend of the twins that is also staying here for the summer."

"That's cool. How come your not staying here at the Mystery Shack?"

Well I'm staying in a cottage that's a bit farther out in the woods from here. (Quick y/n come up with a excuse) "It's a old family house, but I'll be in it for the summer."

"Oh that's nice plus you have a cute dress. I'm Wendy Corduroy  by the way" she raised her fist to you.

"Well nice to meet you Wendy." You retired the jesters giving her a fist bump.

The sound of two running foot steps were heard. As the twins then came throw the door of the inside of the Shack.

"Y/N YOUR HERE!!" Mable yelled out as she tackled you with a hug. That badly slowed you to breathe.

"Mable.    I can't.    Breathe." You patted her on the back to try to tell her to let go.

"Mable let go y/n can't breathe" Dipper came up to his sister.

"Oh sorry y/n. I'm just so excited to see you again" Mable said as she let go of you.

"Mable you say me yesterday. Your acting like I've been gone for the past month." You said as you got your breath back.

"Well might as well since we didn't get to show you the shack  yesterday." Dipper chimed in as be patted you on the back.

"Oh your right Dipper we should show her around the shack. Then many the town to." Mable said as she then started to jump around me and Dipper.

Well I already went into town yesterday. So all I need to see is the Shack." You told them, but Mable then grabbed your hand and ran farther into the shack. Dragging you in the process.

But before the two could even start the tour. They were stoped at the door by a old man in a suit.

"Wow there you two. You may be living in my shack but that dose not mean I'll let your little friend in." He stud in front of us as he blocked the path.

"Aww come on Gruncle Stan. You can make an exception for y/n PLEASEEEEEE" Mable said as she then gave him the puppy dog eyes.

"Ok ok. Stop with the dog eyes Mable. I swear umm going to go blind if you do." Stan said as he then rubbed his eyes.

"Ok fine she can come over to the shack but you got to give me something in return. If I'm going to let you come here?" Stan said as then looked at me. "So what do you have to offer kid?"

You then went through your purse and got out a stack of money. "Well I have about 650$ on me."

The twins and Stan look at you in disbelief. Then grabs the stack of cash putting it into his pouches.

"Ok it's sealed you can come over to the shack when ever you want kid!" Stan said with a smile on his face as he pushed the three of you into the house part of the shack.

"Oh my name is actually y/n!" You tried to correct him. But a new group of tour cam into the shop getting Stan distracted.

"Well um either way let's go show you the shack y/n" Dipper said as they continued to walk.

"Yeah! Oh here's the living room!" Mable said as she pulled you to the living room that had a tv and one yellow couch infront of it. Then a dinosaur skull next to it. The room also had a long aquarium next to the wall.

》 ━━━━━━━━━ ⊱✫⊰ ━━━━━━━━━ 《

Time skip brought to you by the twins showing of the shack and ending it in the empty attic.

“That's the whole Shack y/n!" Mable said as we went up the empty attic.

“ I’m a lot surprised that Stan has a few weird things around the place."  You said as you got on the ledge next the stain as window.

"Either y/n I found a weird Journal in the woods yesterday." Dipper said as he then grabbed a old looking maroon colored journal. That had a gold six fingered hand on top with the number 3 on it.

"Wow?! so what dose it have in it?" You said as you got up and looked over his shoulder.

"Well almost anything!" It's a journal that has a lot of weird creatures from this town.

"Yeah it helped us yesterday when some gnomes said I was going to be there queen blah!" Mable said as she she did some type of craft of to the side.

" Mables right  y/n. At first It was amable dating some guy Norman. I was skeptical at first and thought he was a zombie from the journals descripción." Dipper said as he flipped throw a few pages before stopping at the zombie titled one.

"But in reality it wasn't a zombie at all. It was actually a bunch of gnomes in a discuses. They wanted to make amable there queen." Dipper then flipped a few pages back to another page with gnomes in it.

After a good hour of two Stan told the twins that they would be going to the store to get a few things.

"Oh well we got to go y/n." Dipper said as he got up.

"Oh what if you come with use?!" Mable said as she jumped up and down.

"Sorry maybe next time since I went shopping yesterday. But Dipper do you mind if I can look through the journal and take a few picks of it while your gone?"

You asked as the three of you went down the stairs to the front door.

"Sure I don't mind. Here take it  you can give it back to me tomorrow when you come back." Dipper handed you the journal  as they then got into Stan's car and drove of.

As you made your way home you continued to read the journal and taking a picture of it after reading the page.

The writing was a bit hard to read since it was in cursive, but you could read it.

》 ━━━━━━━━━ ⊱✫⊰ ━━━━━━━━━ 《

Time skip

After a hour of reading the journal you arrived to one's of the final pages. It had a image of a figure that was triangle with a top hat and a bow tie.

 The page was so ominous. Well the whole journal was, but something about this page specifically made you feel off. You kept getting the feeling that there was something else wrong with it.

You didn't even try to read the page deciding that you read enough about the journal for now. Taking a pick of the page closing the journal. Then doing your things to get reader to sleep.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

1 9 8 5/9 19/ 4 9 19 3 15 22 5 16 9 14 7/ 20 8 5 / 23 5 9 18 4 14 5 19 19/ 15 6/ 20 8 9 19/ 20 15 23 14

6 9 14 4 9 14 7/ 1 14 4/ 21 14 3 15 22 5 18 9 14 7/ 20 8 5 / 19 5 3 18 5 20 19/ 15 6 / 5 22 5 18 25 20 8 9 14 7

2 21 20/ 8 15 23/ 12 15 14 7/ 3 1 14/ 19 8 5 / 11 5 5 16/ 8 5 18/ 15 23 14/ 19 5 3 18 5 20/ 8 9 4 5 14

[spectralscathath]

Tour Guide to the Unexplained- A Gravity Falls Fanfiction

Chapter 2- Blue Light Fright Night

Stan and Ford didn’t expect much when getting shipped up to Gravity Falls to stay with estranged family. Not a party-hating ghost, not new friends and new enemies, and definitely not the Mystery Shack and their lying uncle who runs it. But with Ford’s smarts and Stan’s punching, there’s no mystery they can’t solve.

Ao3 Link

"I can't believe it," Ford scowled as he restocked the snowglobe shelf. Little mini Mystery Shacks mocked him as they sat beside glass-encased Waddleses. How did Grunkle Dipper even get question mark-shaped glitter for these? "Gnomes on our first day- then we don't see jack!"

"Maybe we fought the gnomes so well they told the rest of the forest to be scared of us?" Stan polished the body parts jars on the other side of the aisle. 

"I think you're giving yourself too much credit."

"Hey-" Stan kicked him in the shin. Ford kicked back without thinking, focused on trying to get all the snowglobes lined up perfectly. "Maybe we're just looking in the wrong places? It's only been three days since gnome-pocalypse."

"We're not calling it 'gnome-pocalypse'. It was only a hundred or so gnomes. An apocalypse would require at least a thousand." He was rounding down as well. 

"Fine. What are we gonna call it then?"

"Uh-" 

"So are you guys coming to the party tonight?" Carla interrupted as she came around the corner, her nametag pinned to the front of her pink shirt and a flower in her hair. 

"Party?" Ford looked at her, setting down the final snowglobe. 

"Yeah!" Carla beamed and did a little dance in place, hopping from one foot to the other. "It's at the high school gym- the local sheriff sets up one every month for all the teens and it's super fun. You should totally come and meet all my friends- it'll be awesome!"

Ford's breath caught in his throat, an indescribable mixture of wonder and excitement filling him from the tips of his toes to the top of his head. A real invitation to a real party. They'd never had one before! And here Carla was, offering an invitation like they were normal . Like it didn't matter that Ford had six fingers and Stan had the school record for detentions. 

"Yeah, we'll definitely be there!" He blurted out immediately, unwilling to let the opportunity of a lifetime slip by. "Wow, this is so exciting- Stanley, our first party!"

"Have you… never been to a party before?" Carla's face fell. 

" Pfft - of course we have," Stanley jumped in, waving a hand. "He just means in Gravity Falls, yunno. Jersey parties are really different so-"

"Oh, totally. But get ready, a Gravity Falls party is gonna knock your socks off!" Carla was all smiles again. Ford could see the reason why Grunkle Dipper had her as a cashier, she had a very upbeat demeanour that seemed popular with the tourists. The way she talked to them, able to get them smiling and laughing and telling her stories about their travels, she made it look so easy. Like talking to people was easy. Ford wondered how she did it. 

Maybe if he asked, she'd let him observe and record her interactions for science?

"Earth to Sixer-" Stanley poked him in the face and Ford spluttered, swatting at his hand. "You okay in there?"

'I'm fine!" Ford looked around and adjusted his glasses. "Where'd Carla go?"

"A tour finished so she's gone to do her charm offensive on getting them to buy junk," Stan shrugged. "Are you sure you want to go to a party?"

"Yeah!" Was that even a question? "Don't you? Why did you lie to Carla? We've never been invited anywhere before."

"Listen, Fordsy," Stanley put an arm around his shoulders. "When people invite you to do stuff you haven't done, you gotta pretend you have, or else they'll think 'wow, what kinda losers are those guys, never going to parties'. You wanna be in the in-crowd, go along with the popular decision if you don't wanna stand out."

"How do you know that?" Ford scrunched his nose. It seemed unnecessarily complicated, wouldn't honesty be the best policy in any conversation?

"Just makes sense," Stan shrugged. "Now Carla won't be thinking, 'those guys must be lame', she'll be thinking we're cool dudes back home."

"But we're not?"

"Yeah, but you shouldn't say that." Stan patted his back. "Do you really wanna go?"

"Of course! This is a chance to meet the wider population of Gravity Falls, and I bet with all the anomalies in this area, I won't even be the weirdest thing anyone's seen today!" He'd always wanted to go to a party. Like a regular kid. Maybe Gravity Falls wasn't so bad. 

"You're not weird," Stan scowled. "If any of them give you trouble I'll hit them."

"Stanley, mom said one week. You still have three more days." Ford reminded him. 

"Blegh-" Stanley stuck out his tongue. "Now we just gotta convince Grunkle Dipper to let us go."

"Why would we need to convince him? Surely he'll understand how important this is to our preteen social development."

#

"Not a chance." Dipper didn't even look up from the pasta sauce he was stirring. 

"What?!" They yelled in unison, Ford looking like all his dreams crashed and burned and Stan slamming his hands on the kitchen table. He hid a wince. Toughen up, Stan. Be a man. 

"It's a cop party, no nephews of mine are going to a cop party." 

"Grunkle Dipper, do you have something against cops?" Stan had to ask.

"I didn't agree to more questions."

So the answer was a yes. Cool. 

"But Grunkle Dipper-" Ford whined. "We've never been to a party before and we told Carla we'd be there. Please?"

"Okay, here's the thing." Dipper turned around and pointed his pasta spoon at them, pajama pants and a threadbare sweater on. It was silly. It had a puppy on it. "Grenda throws these parties once a month for all the teens in town, and because everyone's kids are there, all the townsfolk treat it as a social event. It's loud, annoying, and seriously not worth your time."

"But we could be party rocking in the house tonight." Ford said it with all the sincerity in his soul and Stan wanted to know how his nerd of a brother had found out about songs that weren't from the 1700s or whenever.

"What?" Dipper's face scrunched before he shook it off and went back to mixing pasta sauce and spaghetti. "Let me explain: I don't 'like' or 'trust' most of the people in this town, and the feeling's pretty mutual. Why don't you just have a party here? This is a house, it can- it can 'party rock'."

"Can we invite people?" Ford perked up.

"No."

"Grunkle Dipper!"

Stan hid a snort-laugh as he watched, studying Dipper more so than Ford, head tilted to make sure he didn't miss anything. There had to be a magic word of some sort to get him to agree. He didn't trust the townspeople, hey?

"If you don't like anyone here-" he cut off Ford's rant about the 'psychosocial development of twelve-year-old brains' before it really got going- "then the smartest option is to bring us into town when everyone's gonna be there." Stan shrugged like it was the most obvious thing in the world, playing up the casualness. 

Dipper looked at him with suspicion. "What's your game, kid?"

"That way you can point out who to avoid and who we should keep an eye on so we can recognise them. I mean, we're gonna need to go into town eventually, might as well get it over with."

"... Alright, that's not a bad point." Dipper nodded, brow furrowed. Stan gave him an absolutely angelic smile, well practiced for when mom busted out the camera for family photos, and Dipper's brows furrowed harder.

"So can we go? Carla invited us as well, it would look bad if we went back on our word. And you said you wanted us to have a good summer."

"Okay, okay, okay." Dipper groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, serving up three plates of spaghetti as he joined them at the table. "You can go, but if Sheriff Grenda asks about me, tell her I'm dead or whatever."

"Yes!" Stan punched the air. "Yes!"

"What?! How is that the conclusion of this?" Ford looked stunned, mouth hanging open.

"Your brother drives a hard bargain, kid," Dipper pointed with a plastic spork. All his cutlery was plastic and Stan thought it was weird, no metal, no forks. But  it was the durable, colourful kind used for camping. "Eat your pasta and we'll get this over with."

Stan shoveled the pasta into his mouth, enjoying the taste of victory. Whaddaya know, for once Stan got them the win. That was never gonna happen again.

#

Ford's excitement only grew as they drove into town, staring out the window and trying to see anomalies in the dark. Stan kicked the back of the empty passenger seat and tossed his head back with a groan. "Why are we listening to BABBA?" 

"Because I love this song." Grunkle Dipper turned it up a notch and sang along, badly. Ford winced at the falsetto of "Dis-co Girl! Coming through! That girl is you!"

"Get me outta here!" Stan's next kick used both feet. "If you're listening, save me, Paul Bunyan!"

"Calm down, Stanley, we're almost there!" Ford could see all the cars parked outside the high school, and a giant RV with GIDEON across the side that towered over everything else. "What's that?"

"First people in this town you need to avoid: Gideon Gleeful and his lil b-" Dipper growled, cutting himself off before continuing- "Bud Gleeful. Gideon's the worst, they're just a creepy pair. Just got back from touring America with their fake psychic act."

"Okay." A fake psychic. Just like their mom. Ford missed her, she promised she'd call every week but it didn't feel like enough. "Anyone else?"

"Preston Northwest is about your age and a piece of work?" 

"I thought you'd have more enemies." Stan grinned mischievously.

"Those are just the child ones." Dipper hooked an elbow over his seat and looked back as he reversed into a parking space, wearing one of the baseball caps from the gift shop with a pine tree logo. His denim jacket and pajama pants clashed terribly with his 'dog playing basketball' sweater. Ford hadn't seen him wear the same sweater twice, but they all looked decades old, handknitted, and far too irrational for him. Perhaps he had some ancient sweater collection?

"How many adult enemies are there?" Stan unclipped his seatbelt as the truck stopped. 

"Don't you have a party to go to?" Dipper waved a hand at them. "Have fun and don't die or something. I'll be here when you want to leave."

"Thanks, Grunkle Dipper!" They chorused and hopped out, Stan racing around to Ford's side of the truck. 

"You ready?" He took Ford's hand for a second, and Ford snatched it back, trying not to think about his hands. It was gonna be fine, this wasn't Jersey. People here would like him. 

"Race you in?" He offered instead, shoving his hands into his pockets just in case. 

"You're on." Stan grinned and took off. He might have been better at punching, but they were both pretty fast from a childhood of dodging bullies. Usually it was a tie. 

This time Ford got there first by mere seconds and paused, able to feel the thud of the music inside in his ribcage. Of course- soundwaves were physical, that only made sense. He was about to lift his hand from his pocket before hesitating. His first party. Did he want to start off with a bad impression?

Stan caught up and pushed open the door. "After you, Sixer."

Ford smiled gratefully at him, stepping in as the smell of dry ice and cheese flavouring hit him. The gym was big, all the bleachers tucked away, and while there was no disco ball, someone had set up projector lights that sent rainbow shapes and lazers everywhere. The room was surprisingly full, and Ford had a sinking feeling they arrived late. "Were we meant to be here earlier?"

"Don't worry- it's cool to arrive late, I heard." Stanley stuck by his side as they stood in the doorway. "Should we find Carla? She's the only person we know here, I think."

Ford had a thought. A bit of a mean thought. Did he want his first impression on people to be Stanley as well? Not that Stanley was bad, Ford loved his brother more than anything, but his nicknames might give people the wrong idea, and the other way around- Maybe Stan would want to meet people without having to talk for Ford as well?

"We can split up, do a sweep on each side, and meet on the other end of the gym." He felt guilty saying it, but he couldn't help being interested in what would happen if he made introductions on his own for once. It was an experiment. 

"See who spots her first so we can talk to her, good idea." Stanley nodded. "Race you there."

He took off through the crowd to the right, leaving Ford to his own business and taking the other. He didn't move as fast as Stanley, keeping his hands in his pockets as he avoided the major crowd and skirted the edges. His head swivelled like an owl's as he looked around, trying to see anyone who might be safe to talk to. 

He saw something sparking near the wall and immediately remembered the various dangers of electrical hazards, resolving to check it and report it to the nearest grown-up- oh, but if that was Sheriff Grenda, Grunkle Dipper said not to talk to her-

Ford didn't really want to do what Dipper said, but… what if he got angry at them for disobeying?

More sparks. He blinked, regaining his focus, and sped up, noticing they were tucked beside the folded bleachers, hard for people in the crowd to see, hidden by the fog of dry ice. 

There was someone there. Two someones. Ford drew closer, in time to see a blowtorch light up and be lowered to a piece of metal. 

"What are you doing?" He blurted out, the two teenagers looking at him. It was hard to make out clear details in the dark hall, but the one leaning against the wall held a plastic bag of sliced bread, and the boy on the floor had a welding visor over his face. 

"Hi there!" The boy stood and flipped his welding mask up, revealing round glasses, a thin face, a long nose, and a friendly smile. "I'm Fiddleford McGucket, local inventor."

"You're an inventor?" Ford smiled. "Me too! I mean- I'm branching out into the field, I'm currently working on a magnet gun."

"Well that sounds mathematically feasible, I reckon." Fiddleford offered a hand to shake, absolutely covered in bandages.

Ford stared at it. "Uh- won't that hurt if I touch it?"

"I've got an un-nat-ur-al-ly high tolerance to pain, doctors say," he laughed, singsonging each syllable in a playful Tennessee twang. "Don't mind the bandages, all from my thingamajig building."

Ford hesitated just a moment longer before he pulled his hand from his pocket and shook Fiddleford's hand.

"Why, that is a mighty fine case of polydactyly you got there." Fiddleford complimented. 

"Th- thanks." He stuttered, in utter shock. No one had ever actually complimented him on it before. Most people didn't even know the term. "You too- I mean- not polydactyly, just thanks?" 

"Thank you kindly, and this here's my friend, Tad."

"Hi, I'm Tad Strange." The deepness of the other boy's voice had Ford reeling. Was that natural? He looked barely older than Ford, with shiny black hair and very neat clothes. He had to be the most nondescript person Ford had ever seen. "Would you like some bread?"

"Uh- okay?" Ford took some of the offered bread. Plain white sliced, from a grocery store. Was he meant to eat this without anything on it? Well- okay, he could try. "Do you carry this everywhere?"

"Of course. It's my emergency bread."

"Oh. Cool?" It didn't seem normal, but maybe it was for Gravity Falls? His hypothesis was correct, he was an anomaly in a town of anomalies! He could fit in here! "I like your voice."

"Thank you." Tad smiled. Ford liked his diction, how deliberately he spoke, how even his voice was. It seemed so calm. "It broke when Tad Strange was seven."

"If we're talking about weird body things, I'm double-jointed?" Fiddleford offered and pulled out a pair of black goggles, a matching pair to the ones Tad had pushed up into his dark hair, hard to see. "Here, put these on, I'm working on improving Tad's phone. I reckon I can really spruce it up."

"Tad Strange would like jetpack capabilities." 

"Yeah! I'd love to help!" Ford's smile was so wide it hurt at the edges, so excited he feared he may explode. Not that it was scientifically possible. 

Was this how easy making friends could be? 

#

Stan plunged into the crowd like a superhero charged through henchmen, keeping his head cocked in case he heard Ford get in trouble. He had to be always ready for bullies, Ford could have all the hope he wanted, as long as Stanley protected him. 

He squinted through the dark, not able to see too much in the weird party lights, lots of pinks and blues and kinda dark. He didn't really like his glasses much when he had to wear them, they were nerdy and made bullies throw stuff at him. He could see most things anyway, just blurry, and as long as he could get the gist he could work with the rest. 'Sides, no point in him having glasses anymore, amount of fights he got in.

A hand grabbed his shoulder and he swung without thinking, catching air. Carla's laugh was bright and cheery. "Easy, tiger! Didn't mean to surprise you."

"Sorry." Stan mumbled. He wasn't as noble as some of the boys back home, who didn't hit girls. Seemed insulting to Stan, if they wanted to fight they should get to fight. But Carla wasn't like the girls back home, he didn't want to hit her. 

"C'mon, my friends are this way." Carla took his hand and pulled him through the crowd. Her hand was warm around his, and she didn't even hesitate. Known him four days and still took his hand. Wow, she was nice.

She pulled him to the snacks table, piled high with chips and chocolates and one very big lady in a cop uniform serving punch. Carla let go of his hand and spun around to face him, her skirt twirling as the lazers made the sequin design on it sparkle, and Stan suddenly got why Shermie used to get so weird around girls. Holy Moses.

"Stanley Pines, meet my besties!" Carla gestured at the group. One girl was spinning in place with an eye closed, two boys were having a string cheese war that looked more like flirting than fighting, the other girl was filming, and the last boy was cheering everyone on. "That's Shandra, Susan, Daryl and Edwin, and Tyler! Everyone, this is Stan!"

"Hi." Stan nodded at them, getting a nod back from the girls and Tyler. 

"And- wait, where's your brother?" Carla looked worriedly at him. "Didn't he come?"

"Course he did! Just went to scope out some of the party," Stan played it off, even as he looked around. What if Ford was already getting picked on? "He'll catch up."

"Okay, cool!" Carla looked up over the crowd and brightened. Didn't seem possible but she managed it. "There's Bud! Hold on, I'll get him." She dove into the crowd again, leaving Stan with her friends and no idea what to do.

He grabbed a random bar of candy to eat to avoid having to make conversation, shoving it all in his mouth in one go. He accidentally made eye contact with the cop and looked away too fast. That was probably suspicious. What was it Grunkle Dipper said? Don't speak English to cops?

Carla came back to the group with a wave, her hand entwined with another boy's. "Okay everyone! I need to introduce you all to my new boyfriend, Bud Gleeful!"

Stan was real dumb. Shoulda seen that coming, obviously Carla had a boyfriend. Little weird that it was one of Grunkle Dipper's enemies, but it was Stan's own fault that he got all weird just because the prettiest, nicest girl he ever met thought he was worth being kind to. No point being disappointed because he got stupid. 

"What a delight to meet you all," Bud smiled cheerfully, his brown roots visibly showing through white hair dye. Stan turned his back and started eating more candy.

The other teens offered a chorus of uninterested 'hi's, still focused on their cheese fight. Looked like Blubs was winning, if the goal was to spray as much cheese as possible in his mouth? 

Stan was starting to get why Grunkle Dipper didn't bother with the town, he was not impressed so far. Except by Carla, but she worked in the Mystery Shack so she didn't count. 

"And who might you be, lil fella?" Bud drawled from behind Stan, which had his hackles up and his fists clenched, ready for a fight. Bud was twice his size, but so was Crampelter, and Stan had won that last fight. He wasn't weak and useless anymore, he wasn't the wimp that cried after just one hit, not now that he could fight.

He turned around, feet shifting into the stance from his boxing lessons as he looked up at the bigger teenager. "I'm Stan. Who wants to know?"

"Why, just 'lil ol me'-" he spoke it like a quote- "it's merely just- well, small towns, I tend to know near-everyone. But I don't recall seeing you here before."

"He and his twin are Dipper's nephews and they're in town for the summer," Carla smiled, clinging to Bud's arm. "They're here all the way from New Jersey, how cool is that?"

The other teens looked a bit more interested hearing that, looking at him like he was an oddity, something to gawk at. Was this how Ford felt? All the time? 

"Yeah, what about it?" 

"That's quite a distance," Bud whistled. "Would I be right in assuming you're staying in that old shack in the woods?"

"Where else would I stay, smart guy?" Stan mouthed off, focus narrowing to who else might be coming in for a sneak attack. Crampelter had friends, maybe Bud did too. "My Grunkle lives there."

"Yes, a so-called man of mystery," Bud clicked his tongue. "He's quite a shameless fraud, wouldn't you agree?"

"Coming from someone who's dad is a fake psychic?" Stan aimed for what would hurt, because it hurt when he thought about it. "What a liar, bet you can't trust anything he says."

Everyone gasped. But they didn't know. He loved his mom so much, so much , but she lied so much, just because, even when there was no reason. She didn't mean any harm, but… 

"Hey now, that's not true!" Bud snapped, getting angry, and Stan regretted saying anything when he saw the look on Carla's face. She looked at him like he said something bad. He did say something bad. He was a bad kid, everyone knew it. 

What was he doing? He was ruining the party, he was making everyone upset, and Ford wasn't here, Stan needed him and he wasn't here, and why did he instantly make it a fight? Because Dipper said not to trust someone?  What was wrong with him?!

He had to get out of here. He pulled a smoke bomb from his pocket and hoped and prayed he got it right- got something right- and threw it at the ground. 

It shattered with a flash and a POP! and sent up a cloud of smoke and sparkles that had everyone coughing, and Stan bolted. 

He ran, sticking to the walls and the shadows, passing a supply closet as he looked for Ford. Where was his brother? 

He was rounding the bleachers when he heard Ford laughing. At what? He slowed his steps, peeking around the corner to see Ford holding a blowtorch and soldering something, laughing and talking with two other boys. He looked like he was having a great time. Without Stanley.

Stan felt the bottom drop out of his stomach, fists clenched tight and shaking with that energy he got in fights. Ford had some sciency name for it that Stan couldn't remember right now. 

Ford was fine. He found people who liked him. Just like he wanted. Stan was tempted to go over there and say hi- but if Ford wanted that wouldn't he have come and got Stanley? Ford always wanted to show off cool things he found, he dragged Stanley all over Glass Shard Beach, so this must mean Ford didn't want to show off his new friends. 

Stanley could take a hint. Heck- Ford would probably be better off with friends who were smart like him. Stan just caused trouble, everyone knew it. 

He backed away, genuinely considering sneaking out to go sit with Grunkle Dipper. Even if that meant listening to girly pop music. 

Actually-

Nah. Still not desperate enough for that. He still wasn't sure if Grunkle Dipper even wanted them around, Shermie had been the one to push for the trip. Even brought the bus tickets. 

Everyone else kept making decisions and Stan kept having to deal with them. He scowled and found the supply closet again, because at least Carla and Bud wouldn't find him in here if they wanted to get mad at him for causing problems. 

He closed the door behind him and shoved over the nearest thing, sending janitor supplies clattering to the ground as he yelled, just to get the energy out. "I never even wanted to come here! Ford did, not me!" 

He turned and punched the drywall. "I hate stupid parties!"

The drywall cracked. Cracked more. Fell away to reveal a big boxy safe hidden behind the plaster, rusted and covered in dust and cobwebs. Stan had a suddenly cold feeling, a looming sense that he'd done something very stupid. 

A girl's voice whispered in his ear.

"Me too."

#

The screaming started as Dipper chewed a pen, brainstorming new attractions for the track. He caught the smell of ectoplasm in the air, able to recognise it instantly, and shoved open the door to his truck, sprinting towards the gym as a pale glow began to surround the building. 

He could hear the panic of the townsfolk,  his focus set on the door as he raced the ghostly energy, trying to get in before it cut off the gym from the outside world. The boys were still in there.

"No, no, no, no-!" The ectoplasm covered the door right as he reached it, the handle chilling his fingers as he failed to yank it open. He kept trying to jiggle it open before he switched to banging his fists against the glass. "Kids!"

"My lil Buddy-boy!" He heard from behind him, Gideon Gleeful running in his bedazzled suit, his white pompadour bouncing with each step of his wingtip shoes.  Dipper ignored him and braced his shoulder against the door, trying to shove it open. Now wasn't the time to start fighting his nemesis. Maybe? He could multitask.

"Hold on, son!" Gideon panicked before turning to the crowd, hand on his bolo tie. "Everyone, please! I need you all to step back and let me use my psychic abilities! Step back, everyone!"

Dipper felt himself step back before he could snap at Gideon to back off, watching Gideon raise his hand to the building.

"Spirit! I compel thee! Release our children and be banished from this place!" Gideon's voice boomed out bombastically, bringing his TV psychic bravado to the real world.

Nothing happened.

Obviously.

"Oh no! Something's blocking my powers! My innate abilities! That I definitely have!"

"Yeah, yeah," Dipper snarled and pulled a glove from his pocket, yanking it on as he stomped to the door. "Hey, ghost! Open up!" 

He drew back his fist and punched the door, the ectoplasmic coating jiggling like jello before it started to wobble faster, energy building up. Bad sign.

Dipper had enough time to swear for real before the ghost blasted him away from the building and into darkness.

#

One minute Ford was helping solder an ignition wire, the next the walls were glowing and tables and chairs were floating in the air. Snacks were flying, aimed at people's heads as screams filled the air, and Tad had to struggle to hold onto his bread as it threatened to fly away too. 

"What's happening?" Fiddleford clutched his hands together, rubbing at his spindly fingers. The rest of the party were freaking out, some rushing the doors, others trying to hide, some freezing in fear. 

Ford? Ford felt alive . This was it, the weirdness he knew was here. 

"Hold on, I may have an answer-" but the diary was so uncool-looking, what if his new friends didn't want to be his friends because of it? 

"Ford!" That was Stanley! "Ford, Ford, Ford!"

"Over here!" He responded without hesitation, because that was his brother calling and Ford would always answer. 

Stan rounded the bleachers and skidded to a stop, worn sneakers nearly losing traction on the smooth gym floors. His eyes were wide and he almost looked scared. Couldn't be true though, Ford had documented Stan's phobias and fear responses. Paranormal activity wasn't meant to register. "It's bad! It's really bad!"

"Wait-" Ford adjusted his glasses. "Stanley, did you do this?"

"I didn't plan on it, Sixer!" Stan flipped a switch into anger, shoulders hunched defensively. "I think it's a girl! I heard a voice!"

"A voice? So not only is this clearly paranormal activity of some form, but it's aware enough to manifest vocals and self-identify? Fascinating!"

"Uh, Ford? Who's this?" Fiddleford tapped him on the shoulder.

"Oh!" He'd completely forgotten they were there, so caught up in the supernatural. "Fiddleford, Tad, this is my twin brother, Stanley. Stanley, these are my friends, Fiddleford and Tad."

"Hi. I'm Tad Strange. I like bread."

"Yeah, great to meetcha, the nerd book , Ford, what does it say ?" Stan made a swipe for Ford's jacket, where he knew the book was. 

Ford backed up. "I don't- I haven't looked yet!"

"Why not?!"

"Because-" laughter, vicious and dark, rang out around the room, and Stan whirled, hand out like he was protecting Ford and his friends. Ford stared as Carla lifted into the centre of the room, her eyes glowing white from within and her arms outstretched.

She spoke with a voice that wasn't hers. "Sixty years I've watched you all party! Now tonight will be your last!"

"Hey!" Sheriff Grenda stomped forward and pointed at her. "You're under arrest for possession! Get outta that teenager!"

"Adults," the ghost scoffed, crossing Carla's arms. "You threw this party? Then I'll throw you!"

Carla pointed as Grenda was enveloped in pale light before she seemed to- rip apart? But it looked wet? But there was also no blood or anything, her matter was just rearranged? That was so cool! Oh- and bad too, right.

"Sheriff!" 

"Where did she go?"

"It turned her into a disco ball!"

It had. Ford had never seen a disco ball with a face before. He wanted to take so many notes.

"Back behind the bleachers, c'mon!" Fiddleford dragged both the twins to the corner he and Tad were hiding in, sitting them down as they hid in the shadows. It wasn't much of a hiding spot, but the panicking crowd likely drew more attention. 

"Poindexter!" Stanley grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "You gotta focus! How do we stop this?"

"Okay." He pulled out the diary and started flipping through, face burning. He hoped Fiddleford and Tad didn't laugh at the sparkliness of it. "Ghosts, ghosts, I know I saw something- here!"

He cleared his throat and began reading the sticker-covered page, googly eyes pasted onto a drawing of a happy ghost.

"Dear diary,

I fought a ghost today! It was crazy! He was really cute, definitely dreamy, but he was also a major meanie who wanted to destroy town, so dateability: questionable. 

Good thing I saw some of her ghost hunting tapes, otherwise I wouldn't have kicked ghostly butt! I bet this one would have counted as a Category 5, so kind of a ghost wimp. Lemme list the categories before I forget! Womp womp!"

Ford scanned through the categories before he found it. "This must be it! 'Category 8: Haunted Buildings- these ghosts are stuck in one place and make reality go all whoa! But they can't actually hurt people permanently and you can totally work things out with them by talking about their feelings, awwwwww' and then there's a heart drawn in? And people hugging?"

"We're all gonna die," Stan decided. 

"Stan, you have to tell me how this happened. Maybe there's a clue there."

"I just hit a wall." Stan shrugged, looking away. "Same as always."

"Perhaps we should ask the ghost what it wants?" Tad offered as a solution, looking abnormally calm while Fiddleford was having a silent freak out next to him, rocking back and forth and carding his hands through his hair. Ford felt a bit bad to see him so nervous, he must not have encountered an anomaly before. 

"I think it's pretty easy to tell what the ghost wants, Strange." Stan snarked.

"I WILL DESTROY ALL THE PARTY SPIRIT THAT HAS EVER EXISTED!"

"Yeah, that bit's obvious," Ford agreed. "It says that Category 8s aren't unreasonable, so maybe we can convince it to leave everyone alone?"

"We have to get it out of Carla," Stan agreed and took Ford's hand. Ford blinked at him in surprise. Stan must have really been scared, they hadn't held hands in a while. His fingers were trembling. 

Ford didn't let go this time. Not if Stanley needed it. He squeezed his twin's hand and pulled them both out of hiding, the room nearly empty from everyone being turned into party favours and posters and stuff. Carla's body floated, items swirling around her like a tornado, her flower missing from her hair. 

"Hey, ghost!" Ford yelled as he and Stan stepped up. "We wanna talk!"

"Oh?" Carla's body raised a hand and they were both floating. Ford felt Stanley's hand go tight in a death grip, hard enough to hurt. His fear of heights, Ford had to do something. The ghost continued, making Carla's face angry in a way that didn't look right. "What do you possibly have to say? Here to defend parties like everyone else?"

"I- we wanted to ask why you're unhappy!" Ford blurted out. "We want to try fix it!"

"How can you fix it? You were invited to this party like everyone else, I bet you've been to lots of them, everyone has! Everyone but me!"

"No we haven't!" Ford tried to convince her. "Tell her, Stanley!"

"I-" Stan's eyes were scrunched shut, face pale and sweaty. "We haven't! Look at us, we're losers! Who'd invite us anywhere?!"

Everything in the gym stopped spinning. Then it all crashed to the ground, Stan and Ford included. Stan immediately dropped to his knees and pressed his face to the floor, while Ford landed a little steadier. He placed a hand on Stanley's back and looked up at Carla, or, more accurately, at the ghost that had appeared, holding Carla up by the shoulders.

She looked like a normal teenager in retro clothes, just with thick glasses like Ford. 

"You're losers like me? But you don't look like it!"

Ford held up his hand and wiggled his six fingers. "I'm definitely a loser. And my brother…"  they both looked at Stanley, currently muttering 'sweet Moses, I love you ground'. 

"But if you're losers, then why are you at a party?" She scowled and adjusted her glasses. "Especially when one of you hates them."

"Huh?" Ford looked at Stanley, feeling betrayed. Stanley didn't like parties? But he was the one who convinced Grunkle Dipper, and said they'd been to lots to Carla, and-

And, Ford suddenly remembered, dodged the question about wanting to go in the first place.

"Stanley?"

Stanley looked away and swiped his nose with his wrist brace. "Whatever. So what if I do?" He pointed at the ghost. "Why do you hate them?"

The ghost gave a very big sigh and Ford braced for backstory. "No one in this town ever invited me to anything."

"Even all of the parties that were meant for everyone, I would get an anti-invitation. An unvitation ." The ghost floated just above the ground, looking sad.  "So one day, I decided that I would ignore my unvitation and go to a party meant for everyone."

She tilted her head. "Unfortunately, that party was to celebrate Gravity Falls' Annual Heavy Object Tossing Competition, and a safe landed right on me."

"That can not be a real thing-"

"It's real!" Sheriff Grenda, in disco ball form, yelled out. "I've won it eight years in a row!"

"Okay…?" Ford shook his head, resolving to ignore that. "So you've been here ever since?"

"Yes. I've watched people party for sixty years here!" The ghost began to turn red and catch fire. "And still! No invitations!"

"What if we invited you?" Ford offered.

"Or Carla!" Stan blurted out. "Carla over there, you just possessed her. She's super nice and will invite anyone. She invited us, for cryin' out loud."

"Oh. Okay." The ghost floated over to Carla, sitting on the floor staring blankly into the middle distance, hugging her knees to her chest. "Hi Carla! Can I come to this party?"

"Uh…" Carla looked over at them, frazzled and ruffled. Ford nodded as hard as he could while Stan gave her very emphatic thumbs up. Carla looked back to the ghost. "Sure...?"

"Great!" The ghost snapped her fingers and everything went right back to normal. People turned back into people, Grenda was no longer a disco ball, and the music started up again. "I've always wanted to go to a party! Whoo-hoo!"

"Can I ask you a million questions about being a ghost?!" Ford asked now that the danger was gone, pulling out a spare notepad and pencil, not noticing Stan walk off.

#

Stan picked up Carla's plastic flower and held it out to her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not sure?" Carla accepted the flower, putting it in her hair. "I think my whole worldview just changed."

"Yep." Stan hesitated, fidgeting with his wrist brace. "I'm sorry I said mean things to Bud."

"Oh. Well- thanks, but I think you need to apologise to him, okay?" Carla smiled at him and stood up, brushing off her skirt.

Stan nodded and scuffed his shoe against the floor. "I will."

"Thanks. You're a good kid, Stan." She patted his shoulder. "And for the record: I don't think you're a loser, you or your brother. Jersey doesn't know what they got."

"Kay." Stan agreed because how was he meant to argue that? Not when Carla was smiling at him like she believed it, like she wasn't so cool. "Thanks, Carla."

"Carla!" Bud shoved through the crowd, flowery shirt looking a bit rumpled. "Are you alright, dearest-darlingest?"

"I'm fine, really!" Carla beamed, taking Bud's hands. "Stan and Ford saved me."

"I can see that." Bud shot Stan a filthy look. 

"Hey, Bud." Stan shoved his hands into his pockets, having to drag the words out of himself. He didn't like apologising much. Usually it didn't help things. 

"Can I help you, Stanley?" He made it sound utterly frigid. 

"Sorry for what I said about your dad and stuff. It was mean." Stan looked away, looking at Ford, who was introducing the ghost to Strange and McGucket. At least he was having fun. 

"I… suppose I'm also sorry about what I said about your great uncle. It was uncalled for." Bud tugged at the collar of his shirt. "Perhaps we should call a truce?"

"Sure. Truce." Stan stuck out his hand, too late realising it was his braced hand. 

Bud took it, squeezing way too hard and making the bones hurt. Stan didn't flinch and dug his nails in as an answer. 'Truce'. Sure. When Carla was around, at least.

"Yay!" Carla did a happy dance. "The power of friendship wins again!"

They both put on a smile for her, immediately shooting daggers at the other the moment she wasn't looking. Looked like they'd be hating each other in secret. Stan could live with that.

"I'm gonna go check on my brother." Stan yanked his hand back and walked off, already sick of Bud Gleeful. He was joining his Grunkle's rivalry on the side of his Grunkle. 

#

They found their Grunkle Dipper snoring in the back of his pick-up truck, having one of those old people naps he usually had in his armchair. Ford poked his face with a pencil, not expecting him to bolt upright and immediately fall out of the truck with a surprisingly girly scream.

"Augh! Dipper down! Dipper down!"

"Grunkle Dipper, we met a ghost!" Surely he saw the building glow, right? He'd believe Ford now!

"Huh?" Dipper rubbed his head, accidentally showing off the birthmark on his forehead of the Big Dipper constellation. He picked up his cap and set it down, blinking blearily up at Stan and Ford. "You what a what?"

"Met a ghost. Fought her, invited her to a party, whole shebang," Stan yawned. "Can we go home now?"

"I made friends!" Ford already had so many plans. "Can they come over for a sleepover tomorrow? They already called their parents and asked!"

"Sure and sure?" Dipper dusted off his pajamas, surprisingly dirty for a nap in his truck, and Ford noticed something.

"What's that glove?"

"Glove?" Dipper looked down before he noticed the blue glove on his right hand. He made a weird face before he pulled it off. "Uh, it's a- a compression glove? Yep! That thing! For my old man arthritis. Flares up sometimes. 'Cause I'm old."

"Aren't you fifty-seven?"

"I'm whatever age a senior's discount at the movies is," Dipper snarked, and Ford scowled. That felt sorta illegal. Definitely unethical.

"I like your moxie, Grunkle Dip," Stan complimented as he clambered out of the back of the truck. "So did you see any of that?"

"Any of what? I've been sleeping." Dipper blinked innocently.

"Oh, come on!" Now Ford really had to find proof of the supernatural. Time to build a gnome trap.

He reached for Stanley's hand again, resolving to talk to him later about stuff. Stanley squeezed his hand back, smiling at him before he yawned again. 

Ford yawned in response. Okay. Tomorrow. They'd talk tomorrow. Stanley shouldn't have to feel like he needed to hide things, not from his brother. 

Mystery twins forever, after all.

[wholegrainvore]

heres a silly valentin drabble

By the time the dusty old house was cleared, Valentin had crammed eight gnomes, six fairies, and a fluffy down his gullet. The fluffy was a pleasant dessert to his hunt; the small creatures were always so tasty and docile, and this one barely struggled at all as he gulped it down greedily. 

“Ah, mercy,” he groaned, rolling his knuckles against his bulging gut. “Gotta — mmm… show my work to the nice lady. You all calm down in there.”

He gave his middle a pat and made his way to the front door, stepping out into the afternoon sun.

“Oh! Young man, you’ve finished with those pests?”

Valentin belched into his fist, shooting the witch a charming smile. “All taken care of, ma’am. Not one left.” His stomach gave a gentle groan, the creatures inside thrashing about to try and escape, and he hiccuped.

“Wonderful,” she praised, reaching into her apron and pulling out a tiny pouch of gold coins.

He received them gratefully, rubbing his gurgling stomach with his free hand as it worked hard to begin churning up its cargo. It was nice to be able to get a meal and pay in one fell swoop. 

*

“Mister! If you let me out, I’ll grant you a wish! Anything your heart desires!”

“Aww, precious,” Valentin chuckled, grinding his hand into the fatty flesh of his gut. Most of his hunt had been churned away, except for this one stubborn fairy that didn’t seem to want to digest.

“I’m —“ He started, before cutting himself off with a meaty belch. “Ah,” he purred, licking his lips. “Excuse me, love — I’m flattered, really, but all I wish is that you would start digesting nicely. I need to make room for tonight’s job, you see; I’m a busy man. Now, shhh…” He pushed insistently at his stomach, trying to stimulate the organ to work harder.

The fairy pouted and gave the wall of his belly a firm kick. “You must want something! To be a mighty sorcerer, or a king… Come on, mister! Let me go!”

Valentin leaned back in his chair, the wooden frame giving a slight creak of protest from his weight, and stroked his hand over the slope of his stomach soothingly.  “Come now, my dear. I get rid of little pests like you for a nominal fee. My clients trust me to thin out your populations; if I were to let you little things go afterwards, I wouldn’t really be doing my job, would I?”

The fairy harrumphed and sulked in the depths of his gut, and Valentin patted his belly fondly. “Don’t be so disappointed, little one… All of your friends have already succumbed to my gut; isn’t it nice and warm in there? Don’t you want to join them? Just — urp — get comfortable and quit squirming. Accept that you're only food to me.”

The fairy grumbled but eventually stopped struggling, and Valentin gave a satisfied sigh. “That’s a good girl," he said through a yawn, stretching grandly in his chair. His hand came down to rest over his stomach, and he marvelled for a moment about how large he'd become. When he’d first gotten into the extermination business, he'd been ... not exactly trim, but at least he had a bit of definition to his frame. Now, he'd become a mountain of a man. He'd gained enough fat and muscle to become quite the imposing figure; huge, strong arms and shoulders, a gut that could hold two or three grown men, a soft and impressive chest - and he was still growing.

 Valentin let out another yawn, his eyelids growing heavy. A nap before his next job sounded very nice; a young paladin had sought him out to clear out a sacred forest of imps and wood-sprites. He dreaded the task when he already felt so nicely sated and sleepy, but he wasn’t too averse to the idea of being paid to stuff himself silly.

[inbabylontheywept]

Master Post of Writings and Series

HFY Science Fiction That Isn't a Ship, It's a Cannon with FTL! Military fiction revolving around space pirates and a railgun someone strapped an FTL drive to. There are three parts, the link above should let you scroll through the whole series. Like Sharks A short fic based on the prompt "Humans are the only ones to actually develop FTL. Everyone else just uses wormholes." The Scattering Experimental piece. I normally do prose, but I tried a poem. Inspired by the Dark Forest Theory. "So...What's the biggest gun you've ever made?" First installment starring Earl, a weapons designer. In this episode he explains the basics of fission-based fusion weapons, their applications in throwing things into orbit. Also stars a horny lobsterman. "R&D? More like R&Deez Nuts" Second installment starring Earl. This is a laser tag fight starring the R&D division, accounting, and sales. There will be male bonding. Or else. "Yeah, sure, and I shit thermite. Be serious." Earl drinks until he pukes. Aliens learn that humans produce hydrochloric acid for digestion. The Vengabus is Coming! A pinned down group of soldiers has to call in a human tank for backup. Shock and awe does not begin to describe it. Hold Your Breath and Burn The bad news is that he's gonna die in space. The good news is that he can make it count. "I will solve you if I must." The last tool of diplomacy is threats. Burning Bridges You don't have to kill a soldier to keep them from being a combatant. "I think we underestimated the scale of the human species by eight or nine orders of magnitude." In which humans turn out to be the swarm. Party Favors Humanity solved mortality. It did not solve boredom. Now it's everyone's problem. Starring my creepiest humans, a lot of drugs, and the leasy sexy descriptions of sex I could make.

HFY Fantasy Small, Fragile, and Destined to Die There's something to be said for spitting in the face of death. Sometimes, literally. "Healing+Lightning=Wizard Launcher" Unconventional spell uses let a wizard punch above his weight. And bite. And kick. Human wizards make a lot of ruckus. An Honorary Troll A wizard fights a troll. It is not a very wizardly fight. I considered it a very loose sequel to the story above it, but both can absolutely be read separately. Dale of the Dales A two part series about a human protecting a town of halflings from an army of gnomes with the power of hospitality, and also being comparatively massive. Why Human's Can't Cast On the properties of superconductors and golden gods. The Thunder God of Honnillee A human is adopted by a halfling. What Talon and What Dreadful Claw Tragedy with a man and a spynx.

Unsorted Fictions Leviathan A necromancer scours the depths of hell for a soul worthy of his creation. He finds more than he bargained for. Odysseus in Space (It's very, very good) Biographical Pieces Soviet Birds A comedy of errors is resolved by the Vessel of Bird Sacrifice. The Kitchen Labyrinth of Missile Science Why does a classified facility with 30 people at it have 7 kitchens? What would you do if I told you it has seven of every kind of room? The Fridges. Oh my God, the Fridges. It also has 20 fridges in it. Obviously. Kevin vs. Intro to Quantum You would be surprised at the kind of intellectual challenges random bystanders can take. I certainly was. Layman walks in and becomes the class mascot. The Condom Bomber In which I fuck up. Videos None of these are narrated by me, but I thought I'd list them here for anyone that prefers listening to reading. Like Sharks, read by Grey Voice. He focuses on smooth reading. Like Sharks, read by Aggro Squirrel. He has a theatrical voice. Like Sharks, read by NetNarrator. He has a fast, clipped style. The Vengabus is Coming & Burning Bridges 2 for 1 by Aggro Squirrel. "Yeah, and I shit thermite. Be serious." by Net Narrator. "So, what's the biggest gun you've ever made?" by Aggro Squirrel.

[dimension20npcofalltime]

Round Two - Bracket Three [Dimension 20 NPC of All Time]

Calroy Cruller vs Chungledown Bim

Descriptions under the cut

Calroy Cruller - He/Him

Campaign: A Crown of Candy

Who is he?

Lord Calroy "Cal" Cruller is the Marquis of Muffinfield, and King Amethar's best friend and right hand. He is also officially recognized as the ruler of Candia for a time, after staging a coup against House Rocks, until they return to Castle Candy with allies to overthrow him again.

"That mother. fucking. piece. of cake... In those hot. ass. pants..." ― Ally Beardsley on Lord Calroy Cruller

Why is he the NPC of All Time?

"A friend and pal until he isn’t anymore, one of the best reveals and subsequent villain speeches in d20 history, and he has AMAZING pants also, the end of acoc where lou crits w/ payment day for the first time in the campaign on cruller is such a fantastic moment."

Submitted by: @hanna-lulu

Chungledown Bim - He/Him

Campaign: Dimension 20 LIVE

Who is he?

Bimothy, more commonly known as Chungledown Bim, is a gnome pirate from Leviathan and a warlock of Bill Seacaster. He has an impressive beard that looks like it is made of six mustaches, and an assortment of snaggle-teeth all made of different materials. "Bim" is short for Bimothy. His magic takes the form of gold coins shooting out of his hands.

Why is he the NPC of All Time?

He started a rivalry with Fabian for no reason other than that Fabian wasn't a very good pirate (he never claimed to be). He threatens to shit in Fabian's mouth and chases him across Leviathan. Fabian is so terrified of Chungledown Bim that he appears to him in the Nightmare Forest. Cassandra says that she never sent Fabian a vision of Chungledown Bim suggesting that it was really him haunting Fabian.

Submitted by: @xvynth

[ashenquill]

Hello Tumblr, I am back with more headcanons!!1!1!

Beware of Hermitshipping in this one (it's not the focus but it's mentioned)

Bdubs. He doesn't have a full legal name, he's just Bdubs. On paperwork, he will sometimes put "Bee Double", but it's no more than a formality. It's pretty well-known that "Bdubs" is technically a nickname, but whenever someone tries to ask okay, but what's your real name?, he just keeps talking like they never said anything. Most people brush this off, but anyone who is highly-attuned to and proficient in magic will realize that, although Bdubs seems like an open book, they don't actually know that much about him.

Hybrid-wise, Bdubs is a fae creature of unspecified origin, although he's most akin to that of a nymph (specifically a dryad) or a gnome (this isn't just a short joke, it's a short joke with a purpose). He is closely connected to the earth, and can manipulate anything that comes from the earth, though he doesn't do it often. He is also able to make illusions and move at higher speeds than should be possible, which makes it very easy for him to confuse and disorient people, especially those who don't know him.

Bdubs is a very devoted and hard-working person, and he is proud to boast that he works an impressive seven jobs. These include: owning and operating a coffee shop called "The Muhd Cafe" (or simply "Muhd"), Construction Supervisor & General Contractor, owning and operating a headshot shop (he does both pictures and paintings), owning and operating a plant nursery, owning a demolition company, part-time Scarland employee, and the esteemed Royal Advisor/Jester/Butler etc. Bdubs technically works part-time for all of these businesses, and co-owns most of them with other people. He has to keep busy to not become restless, and it shows.

Some details for each buisness:

Muhd - Co-owner: Etho Slab. Affectionately nicknamed "Wet Dirt" by Etho and most employees. Bdubs hates this nickname. Bdubs uses his hybrid abilities to make coffee faster than any gunslinger in the Wild West, and frequently leaves his customers disoriented. Because of this -- and despite his protests --, he has been banned from working the counter unless there's a rush. This is Bdubs' "favorite" job (he swears he doesn't have a favorite, but he comes here most frequently), and he lives in an apartment above the coffee shop.

Bdubs' Head Shop - Sole owner: Bdubs. Sourced from a van with all of his art and photography supplies, and only appears on occasion. Bdubs has a glowing reputation, and any time the shop appears in the city, he gets heavy foot traffic.

Moss O Menos - Plant nursery located near Muhd. Bdubs is technically the sole owner, but the store's manager, Gemini Tay, runs the place in his absence and is basically a co-owner at this point.

Boomer's Demolition - Co-owners: Tango Tek and Impulse S-V. Their office is located in a tnt factory, so they typically do business over the phone or through emails. They have a terrible reputation and don't get many customers, so all three have other jobs.

Other details about Bdubs:

Smell = earthy, mossy, and also the unholy mix of his ten thousand jobs (coffee, oil, paint, gunpowder, churros, etc.)

Hybrid: forest nymph/gnome type of thing (connects to nature easily, can move faster than normally possible, often causes small-scale abnormal events)

Book smart - Special knowledge of customer service, architecture, and color theory

Likes: Etho, working, Etho, helping people, keeping busy, Etho, Etho, Etho

Dislikes: minor inconveniences 

Passions: brightening someone’s day, serving others

Habits/other details: thinks he has street smarts but could get conned by a shady guy in a trenchcoat, this is actually how he ended up marrying Etho, no I will not elaborate

Active in his environment - hates being idle, needs constant change to not get bored, and is willing to make it EVERYONE’S problem

Perfect sleep schedule, major early bird, gotta shreep

[quizzievivicalavellan]

How to Make Me Smile

In which Gale helps Aster fall asleep after a nightmare and Aster talks in her sleep. Occurs in the Underdark after confronting Nere.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53341882/chapters/142956958

**************************

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

A swipe of a hand, a body flying through the air.

Screams echoed. And laughter. Nere, teeth bared in a wicked smile. Red-hot fire reflected in his eyes.

Lava spreading, engulfing everything. At the center, a gnome, crying in agony. Flesh melting, exposing blood and bone. Lips half burned away. “Help me! Help me…”

*GASP*

Aster woke with a start. Her eyes shot open, and the gruesome image of melting flesh was replaced with the familiar walls of her tent, barely visible in the gloom of the Underdark. Her breath came in ragged, shallow gasps and her heart felt as if were trying to escape her chest. As she sat there shaking in the dark, the gasps turned to sobs, and her eyes stung with unspilled tears.

The same nightmare, now three nights in a row. Each time it seemed to affect her even more than the last. After everything she’d been through recently, most would find it odd that the death of a single gnome would be what finally gave her nightmares, yet that was the truth. Honestly, despite the mind flayers, the parasites, the goblins, and every other threat and horror of her adventure so far, she had been enjoying it. Her new friends actually valued her opinions and looked to her for guidance. She’d been able to help people, and she’d felt such a rush of happiness and victory and appreciation partying into the night with the tieflings after saving them from the goblins. She felt important for the first time in her life, like a hero in the stories the caretakers at the orphanage used to read when she was a child.

She’d been a fool.

People like her, like that gnome that Nere had cast aside like she was nothing, weren’t heroes. They were pawns in the universe’s great game of lanceboard, mere sacrifices for the truly important players. And Nere, though more formidable and horrible than Aster had anticipated, was far from the most important player in the Absolute’s army. How was a nobody like her supposed to defeat such a powerful foe? It was impossible. She felt so small and weak and insignificant as she sobbed into the darkness. The gloomy, cramped interior of her tent felt as suffocating as the growing dread in her heart. Aster wrapped a blanket around herself and stepped outside, hoping a walk might soothe her mind.

It was impossible to tell night from day in the Underdark; only the quiet of the camp and her own tiredness betrayed the lateness of the hour. Aster longed for the lush flora and cool breeze of nighttime forests that had always brought her peace, but the druid had to admit that the Underdark had its own kind of natural beauty. Instead of trees and shrubs, mushrooms of all colors and shapes decorated the subterranean landscape. Many varieties glowed defiantly in the gloom, shining across the ground like a mirror of stars in the night sky.  

The mushrooms weren’t the only things glowing. Light emanated from one of the tents in the camp – Gale’s. It seemed she wasn’t the only one having difficulty sleeping. Then again, Gale was a night owl by nature and could often be found lost in a book in the wee hours of the night. The thought brought a small smile to Aster’s lips despite the heaviness of her heart.

Gale – in the short time she’d known him, she’d grown quite fond of the wizard. A blush crept into her cheeks as a memory popped into her mind. Aster had been so embarrassed when she had accidentally imagined kissing him while they had been connected by the Weave that she’d almost run away. But then, she’d felt his surprise and trepidation morph into elation “A pleasant image, to be sure.” He had imagined it before too.

And yet, save for some stolen glances, subtle touches, and flirtatious exchanges, their relationship had remained imaginary, both of them too scared to make it real. Something real could hurt, something real could be lost. Aster was too familiar with heartbreak and found it hard to let someone close enough to hurt her that way again. She cared deeply for Gale, and he seemed to care a great deal for her, but it was difficult to be certain of the truth of his feelings. Between the fallout of his disastrous relationship with Mystra, the orb, and the parasite, he might just need someone to grasp onto in the middle of the chaotic storm of his life. Would he still need her, when it was over?

Aster blinked away her troubled thoughts and found herself right outside Gale’s tent, unaware that she had even been walking toward it, drawn to that warm light like a moth to a flame. Her hand hovered over the flap of the tent. Part of her wanted nothing more than to go inside and throw her arms around him and let herself cry into his chest. For him to hold her and tell her everything would be alright.

But the other part of her made her draw her hand away from the entrance and turn back toward her own tent. The part that didn’t want him to see her so shaken and weak, eyes red and tearstains on her cheeks. She took a deep breath to try and pull herself together. She needed to be strong enough to face whatever dangers lie ahead. More than that, she needed them, and him especially, to believe that she was. With a sigh, she took the first step away from the warm glow of Gale’s tent.

****

Gale couldn’t sleep. This was far from unusual for him, but it was frustrating, nevertheless. Although his body felt tired, the minute his head hit the pillow his mind started racing with the couple of dozen things he ought to be worried about at the moment, and several dozen others he likely had no need to worry about, though every day it was getting increasingly difficult to tell the difference.

To give his overactive mind something else to mull over, Gale cracked open one of the newer tomes he had found on his adventure, Fringe Philosophy, Vol. 5. by Taura Brinn, who had some fascinatingly radical opinions on the study of more forbidden magics. As he reached a chapter on implications of Netherese magic study for the understanding of the nature of the Weave, he heard a noise outside the tent.

It was probably just the baby owlbear their troupe had somehow ended up adopting. Owlbears were nocturnal creatures by nature, and the little scamp could often be heard getting into trouble at night. Still, he supposed he ought to make sure the noise wasn’t something dangerous. Well, more dangerous, anyway. Gale was not entirely convinced that the owlbear wouldn’t grow up and decide to attack them all, but Aster did have a way with animals, and he could hardly protest after seeing her smile when it showed up at their camp for the first time.

He put the book aside, leaving it open on the blanket to keep his spot, and walked quietly to the entrance of the tent. He carefully pulled away the flaps and peered out into the dark camp, gently lit by the glow of hundreds of mushrooms. He looked down and saw a familiar head of red curls start moving away from the tent.

“Aster, is something wrong?” he whispered, stepping outside the tent. She flinched in surprise and stopped walking but didn’t turn around.

“Sorry, I… I didn’t mean to bother you,” she whispered back, pulling the blanket tighter around herself.

“Nonsense, you are never a bother.” He pulled back the flap of the tent with one hand and gestured toward the entrance with the other. “Would you like to come in?”

Finally, she turned around. Their eyes met for a moment before she looked away, turning her face as if trying to hide it behind the thick curtain of her hair. It was obvious from her red, puffy eyes that she had been crying. Gale realized then that this was the first time he had seen her cry, and his heart ached at the sight. He had a sudden urge to hug her, but he didn’t want to overstep and make her uncomfortable, so instead he kept holding open the tent until she stepped inside.

She sat down cross-legged on one of the blankets strewn across the floor and he sat down next to her on top of his bedroll. They sat there for what felt like a long time in uncomfortable silence. Finally, unable to bear the quiet any longer, Gale started to ask “Do you want to talk about –“ but Aster interrupted him before he could finish the question.

“What are you reading?” she asked, pointing to the open book on the ground next to him. While the deflection tactic was obvious, Gale let her get away with it.

“Fringe Philosophy, Vol. 5. The author makes some fascinating points on the potential costs, benefits, and implications of the study of Netherese magic. It is rather technical and verbose; I doubt it would interest you.”

“That sounds perfect.” She paused for a moment before speaking again. “Would you… read it to me?” she asked shyly.

 “Umm, yes I… sure, I can do that,” Gale stammered out, taken aback by the request. Without another word Aster rolled up her blanket into a makeshift pillow, set it down next to his bedroll, and laid down on her back. Gale followed her lead and laid down beside her. He picked up the book again in one hand, resting the base of it against his chest, and began to read aloud in hushed voice just slightly above a whisper. “Consider, if you will, what an understanding the formation and structure of the Karsite Weave might reveal about the metaphysical essence of…” As he read, the sound of her breathing slowed and deepened.  

After several pages, he felt a weight press against his side. He looked down to see Aster’s head resting on his shoulder, her arm draped across the left side of his chest. The book almost slipped from his hand, but he caught it and set it down gently before it could fall and wake her up. Her hand brushed unconsciously down his chest, and both his heart and the orb pulsed rapidly beneath her touch. He couldn’t pretend he hadn’t pictured it before, lying next to her, her hands on his skin, kisses hot and breathless...

He took a deep breath to calm himself. The orb thrummed dangerously at the rush of emotion and desire, a reminder of why he had not acted on his feelings for her. Well, part of the reason, anyway. The other major factor was his lingering doubt that she actually felt that way about him. Sure, he had seen that imagined kiss through their connection in the Weave, but she had seemed embarrassed and perhaps it was just a passing fantasy brought on by the warm embrace of the Weave. Many of their conversations after had seemed flirtatious, but Gale was sorely out of practice at detecting that sort of thing and had not been particularly gifted at it to begin with.

That was all true, but the biggest source of doubt was thus: what could she possibly see in him? He was a disgrace, a failure, a mere shell of his former self with but a fraction of the power he once wielded. Once, great feats of magic had come to him as naturally as breathing, and now even the simplest spells sometimes proved challenging. The great archmage Gale of Waterdeep, reduced to the ability of a novice by his own recklessness. He would do anything for her, give her everything he could, but he knew he had little to offer. She would realize that, sooner or later, and then she’d have no more use for him. He couldn’t go through that, not again…

“Mmhmm, Gale,” Aster murmured, bringing Gale back to the present.

“Yes?” Gale whispered, looking down at her head resting on his shoulder. Her eyes were closed, and she seemed to still be asleep.

“Gale, you’re… sosweet,” she said, sleep slurring her words together. “Youalways… knowhowto… make me smile.”

And she was smiling. All the worry and sadness that had been weighing on her when she was standing outside his tent were gone from her peacefully sleeping face. It was as if she had read his mind, had heard his doubts and answered them. Yes, that was something he could do. He could try to be a source of comfort, a laugh, and a smile in these uncertain times, make her burdens a little bit lighter. It might not be much, but it was something.

“Scraaaaatch,” Aster whined in her sleep, her dream clearly having changed subject. “Wyll’s boots arenotforeating!... Good boy,” Aster mumbled, petting Gale’s chest as if he were the camp dog. Gale stifled a laugh, trying not to wake her.

“Goodnight, Aster,” he whispered, tucking a stray curl of red hair behind her ear. He closed his eyes as sleep finally washed over him, the two of them lying there together, both smiling as they dreamed.

[bonemarrowrites]

The King of the Forest

Contains: M / M, Human x Giant, Human x Monster (Eldalg/moosetaur), dubcon, cum inflation (like so much), belly bulge (like so fucking much), size difference, bondage, first person pov, trans man f’d silly

Short explicit fantasy story. Young human man wants to learn more about the secretive eldalgs, moose-like giants inhabiting the darkest forest. +5k words.

Scroll to this ╭ᑎ╮ mark to skip the story parts.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

The Eldalgen had always fascinated me. They were the last few megafaunal species that had lived during the Age of Springtide and just looking at a painting of one you could see why. In their adult size, the bulls could easily tower over three tall humans standing on each other's shoulders. They say you can feel the tremors as they walked through the ground even from afar. The Eldalg live in giant redwood forests, deep enough where the daylight barely touches the ground.

We didn’t know a lot about them. Meeting one would usually mean death, outsiders of the herds are usually stomped to death, and even members of their own species are not safe from harm. Until about a few decades ago, no one even knew they were sentient, sure their upper bodies looked slightly humanoid, with thick wooly fur and faces not too distinct from that of a moose. Still, people rarely made contact with them and as such, they were only seen as mere beasts, until it was revealed by an elven faunatologist called Vieli’feorta that the giants had had a long trading history with them.

With a book and quill, among other supplies, I knew I was the one to finally reveal the truth. It had taken almost six months to get to the giant village near the last great redwood forest. I had met a group of adventurers in the nearest city and they’d been kind enough to lend me a ride there. I had my nose deep in my books during the whole three-day trip it took to get near the village. I never bothered to learn the names of the six I was traveling with, but they seemed like a close-knit group.

“Here we are!” Yelled the human woman steering the drake’s towing the cart. “This is as far as we can take, we don’t have a good rapport with those guys,” she added and pointed at the village still far away. I could see smoke rising and something large moving in the distance. The woman gave me a smile as I jumped down from the cart with my bags.

I was glad to leave that darned cart, to be honest. The quarreling between the half-orc and the gnome almost drove me mad. Before they left, the bronze-haired human woman turned back to me and said “You know… We will be here again next week, if you need a lift, you’re welcome to join us again.”

I nodded slowly, thinking about the offer for a while, but deciding against it, I had to stay in the forest as long as I could, I had to learn everything I could so I could become one of the most revered faunatologist in the whole continent.

“Thank you, but I will find another ride,” I yelled back. We both waved goodbye and I began the slow walk through the marshy soil towards the village.

I didn’t know much about the Giants other than they were also pretty secretive. They didn’t seem to like the smaller sentient species that much and I mean, how long does it actually take to get over being enslaved for hundreds of years by every single dark lord who decides it's their turn to dull? My kind had certainly gotten over the last one.

Even though I tried to walk as carefully as I could, I stepped on the wet grass multiple times, my old leather boots soaking in the dirty water. One of the most annoying feelings had to be a wet leg inside a shoe, it was just right after getting sand in them or cutting yourself with paper. It must have taken hours to get to the edge of the village and my splashing had caught the attention of the inhabitants. With curious looks on their faces, the giant men and… the women I presumed watched me. It was a small village, filled with huts made from large boulders. The wind carried the scent of smoked ham into my nose.

My strength was spent in the marshland, I took deep breaths before introducing myself to the grey-skinned villagers.

“Uh, hello! My name is Prost Von Palipaa and I’m here to inquire about something!” I waved my hand with a friendly smile on my face.

One of them, the largest one I assumed to be the leader of the bunch walked towards me, looking annoyed by my presence.

“What you want human?” He scowled, wiping his ratty long strands of hair from his face to reveal the ugly mug beneath. The air around was brisk, but the giants wore only brittle loincloths around their waists. Like the unintelligent beasts they were, they let everything hang free. As the man got closer, I could feel the ground shake beneath each step.

“I’m here to see the eldalgen,” I replied, keeping my tone stern, “I have gold.”

“Bah! No need gold, you leave, antler heads kill you,” he stated back, stopping in his place.

“You can buy things with gold. Tools, weapons…” I paused before adding, “Clothes?”

My words clearly got through to him as I saw him raise his bushy eyebrows.

“Hrph… Come,” he said and waved me to follow him. Him being much taller than me, I had to almost run to keep up with the pace. The other villagers glared at me as I ran by, but since I got their leader's attention, I didn’t need to care what they thought about me. The Giant Chieftain led me to his dwelling place. Strange symbols covered the boulders outside, some of which the giant leading me in had also painted on his skin. The doorway was covered with surprisingly delicate scaly leather pelts, the scales glimmered in the cold light of the clouded sun. As I stepped inside, the smell of the smoke hit me by surprise, making me cough. Only a faint light shone in between the scale pelts but there was a large fireplace in the center area. The heat from the fire made the white bones strung onto the ceiling sway, clacking them together like a crude instrument. Large fur hides covered the floor and the edges of the curved room, some packed together to look like little beds.

The Giant turned to look at me, “You humans always think you can get anything with gold…” his guttural voice resonated with the blouders around us as he spoke.

“Wait, you can actually talk well?” I bluster out, surprised by his sudden elegance with the words.

“Simplicity scares your kind, we use your fears to keep you away yet here you are, trying to bribe me to betray the trust of my kin,” he said, circling the flame in the center, walking behind me.

“Your kin? You mean the Eldalg? They are not your kin,” I could feel my voice disappear, scared by the unknown before me.

“More than your kind is,” he replied curtly, “The Eldalg are outsiders to your civilized society as much as we are,” The Giant growled, putting his hand on my shoulder almost like a threat.

“You need to take me there, if you don’t want gold, I can do something else,” I found my courage or at least tried to sound like I did.

“…And what would that be?” He hissed, with a hint of curiosity hidden beneath the irritation.

“My mother used to be a bard, I can entertain you,” I shot back quickly, turning to face him. His face drew closer as he looked directly into my eyes, making me feel smaller than ever before.

“Fine,” he muttered and straightened his back, “If you can make me laugh, I will take you into the forest tomorrow.”

My eyes widened with joy, I was happy to keep my gold and get where I wanted to be.

“Okay, okay,” I said, waving my hands in excitement as I dropped my bags. The Giant Chieftain stepped back and sat on a hide to see what I could offer. I fluffed my chest and began the spectacle.

I had been on it for almost an hour and the giant did not even smirk.

My jokes? Nothing.

My songs? Barely escaped death.

My magic tricks? Almost dropped my pants while doing it.

If the marsh hadn't drained me, this show did. I was getting desperate. Re-doing my skits, but nothing worked and the giant seethed with fury.

╭ᑎ╮

“ENOUGH!” he shouted, getting up and grabbing me by my fishtail braid. “Pathetic little human!” He snarled at me and I could smell his breath. I wanted to run, but his grip was too tight.

“Please, let me try again,” I pleaded, “I can make you laugh!” The giant stared straight into my soul and huffed loudly. Fearing for my life, I let out a high-pitched cry.

Suddenly, he pulled away, looked at me and a large smirk spread over his face. Instantaneously he crouched down, grabbed me by the ankle, and lifted me high up in the air, making me wail from fear.

His eyes leered at me as he ripped my pants off, exposing my bare ass and pussy. The giant held me almost at eye level and watched me trying to wriggle myself free.

“You humans are so fragile,” he taunted me and dipped his fingers in the oil near the firepit, he began to smear the oil between my thighs, my whimpers doing nothing to make him stop. He had only four fingers in both of his hands, all as thick as sausages and rough as the stone around us. The giant slipped two fingers between my folds, making my wail even louder, which in turn made him grin even more, revealing his teeth and the black gums.

“Mewl, little human, mewl,” he commanded as if he even had to. His rough fingers pressed against my clit, sending unwanted spasms of arousal all over my body. The giant’s third finger began to poke at my other hole. The rough manhandling felt too much as the pressure within me built up, and my nipples hardened when the cold buttons on my jacket brushed against them. I tried to keep my aroused whimpers inside by biting my lips, but as soon as the giant plunged two of his fingers inside my pussy I let out a loud cry. His other hand kept me in the air as the other violated my hole. The broad fingers slipped in and out, while one was still pushing against my ass.

It didn’t take too long for it to enter me too, both of my holes now filled with his slick fingers. He thrusted into me rhythmically, making my wetness drip down, my attempts at matching his thrusts failed due to my awkward position. The giant began to laugh, watching my helpless body struggling to keep up with him.

Unable to take any more, my body began to tremble as I came, locking the giant’s fingers in. The whole village must have heard his bellowing laughter and my scream.

My mind was completely blank as he put me down on the furs, forcing me to kneel down and lifted my rear. Slowly, he pulled his fingers out and shoved the cloth covering his waist into the waistband, revealing his hard member, twice the size of his fingers. The giant hunched over me and rubbed his tip into my wetness. he entered my pussy, while pinning my limb body underneath him. I could feel the tip bulge my belly with each long thrust he made. My mind somewhat recovered, I began to whimper again, but not from the fear, his cock was full of bulbous shapes, which kept rubbing against my sore clit arousing me again.

The giant’s breathing sounded heavier as his pace quickened, ramming his long shaft against my cervix, had he been able to, I’m sure he would have passed the narrow barrier into my womb. The giant pushed my head down to furs with the hand he had just used to ravage my pussy, returning his other hand to violate my ass. His deep thrusts buried my face into the coarse furs below us. Another jolt hit my body and I was consumed by the desire, some part of me deep within hated to be used by such a low creature, but something even deeper wanted more. Suddenly he pulled his finger from my hole, slapping my cheeks hard before pulling his cock out of my pussy, only to plunge it while grunting into my ass, the sudden switch made me wail out loud, but the giant kept pommeling into me with vigor.

Relentlessly, he used me as his entertainment.

As his heavy balls smacked against my rear, I wanted to wrap my legs around his waist to give him more room to enter even deeper into my gut, but I was helplessly pinned away from him.

His bulbous cock kept pounding into me without a rest, as I gasped for air, yet still hoping for more and that was exactly what I got. My whole body convulsed again at last giving the giant’s rod enough clench to come. The vessels clasping the giants's bulbous spheres swelled and he held him deep inside as he spewed the hot seed inside my throbbing hole, not letting go until his balls were completely empty deep within. I could feel the area around his sheathed tip grow larger, making my belly bulge from his seed. The giant’s loads were thick, his balls twitched against my cheeks from the strain of each shot.

it felt like hours had passed when he finally pulled out, wiping his cock into the shredded fabric of my pants. He picked me up and sat down. My belly was jutting out so much, it was hard to wrap my arms around his. When the chief turned around, he saw two of his underlings by the doorway, already stroking their hardened cocks, pointing at me.

“I only promised to entertain one of you!” I yelled while gasping, the chief turned back to them and waved them to leave. The two left the hut letting out loud sighs, disappointed by the decision.

Even though as I sat on the ground and felt his seed gushing out of my hole, it didn’t seem to recede at all. The giant sat next to me and wiped my face with a wet cloth.

“I had no idea you human men could be so satisfying little pets,” he told me, clearly as tired as I was. His seed had finally stopped leaking, most of it still weighing me down.

“You have made me laugh and entertained me. Tomorrow I will take you with us into the forest but you must hide beneath the thicket. Don’t worry, it won’t be hard, since you’re so small, but if you get caught, we do not know you and you will die,” The giant hesitated before he added, “…But you can also stay here, we will take care of you.”

I gave him a curious look and thought about it. Right now, staying here sounded better than getting fame by writing about the eldalgen, but even though I would have loved to stay here and be the chieftain’s little pet, maybe even their shared pet, I knew it wasn’t what I really wanted.

“Thank you, but I must go. Will I sleep here for the night?” I asked as I stroked my belly, astonished about how much I’d liked the feeling of it. I never wanted to be pregnant or have children, but the feeling of being stuffed full was heavenly.

“I see…” The Giant Chieftain answered back, saddened by my decision, but respecting it anyway, “You can stay here for the night, we’ll feed you before we leave tomorrow and give you new clothing.” I nodded as the giant left his hut, leaving me alone in the room. I watched the flames dance and let the soft crackling noise lull me into deep sleep.

The coarse hands of the giant chieftain shook me awake just as I was seeing a dream about the whole village dominating me. The first thing I realized was that my belly had gone back to its normal size, leaving me feeling a bit empty.

“Come on, human. It’s time to eat,” the giant said and gave me a pair of new trousers and a washing basin. As soon as I was ready, I followed him outside, where the villagers had set a large table with a plentiful feast. I was welcomed to the table, no one gave me any angry glares as we spoke and ate together.

The giants had filled a large cart with things they had hunted and made. I was told they were trading with the eldalg and today was their monthly trade run. Before we left the village, the chieftain pulled me aside.

“I’m going to ask this once; Are you sure you want to go? By staying here by my side you will be treated like the princes in your realm, you could be happy here,” he pleaded while clasping my hands into his.

“I’d like to stay, but I have to do this,” I told him, assuring myself about my plans, “When I return, I can visit your village.” The giant chieftain did not seem to believe me and he shook his head.

“I will take you there, but I can’t protect you once we step into the forest. You won’t return,” he kissed my forehead and we re-joined the group. I was allowed to sit in the cart as we traveled. The journey was long and slow due to the marshland, but finally, I saw the ever-growing trees ahead. The edge of the forest was full of thick bushes, but as soon as we entered, the thicket got smaller, still tall enough to swallow me, but the giants had no trouble moving around. Once we were deep enough, I had to jump down from the cart and follow the giants from farther behind. The thicket concealed me, but also limited my vision. The walk into the depths of the forest took almost as long as getting there from the village, but finally, the giants stopped in a small clearing and used a booming horn to call the eldalgen to them.

Nothing.

They blew into the horn again.

Nothing.

“One more,” the chief said, and just like that, we heard thunderous clopping coming towards us. I had my quill and my book ready as I scrawled as quickly as I could what I was experiencing. Three huge creatures entered the clearing with large bags on their shoulders. One of them and the chief shook hands and the trading began.

The giants exchanged smithed goods and books with the eldalgen and they in turn gave the giants yields from the forest, magical items dug from ancient ruins, and large wood weapons made from enchanted trees. I was smitten with the view. The eldalgen were taller than the giants, barely resembling humanoid creatures seen anywhere else. The thickness of their brown fur must have been able to stop arrows and swords. The three here had to be males since all of them had huge antlers crowning their heads. The painting I had seen did no justice to the majesticity I was seeing right before my eyes.

I sneaked in closer to get a better look when it happened.

My ink bottle fell and shattered into a rock below my feet. Everyone turned to look in my direction, the most keen-eyed spotting me, getting their weapons ready, giants and eldalg alike

I didn’t bother to pick up the bags I had dropped down earlier, I spun around and began to run back to where we came from. I could hear hooves hitting the ground as they began to chase me. I tried to run to a small cliff I had seen earlier, hoping it would put some barrier between us. The dry branches of the thickets scratched my skin and made me bleed, but I kept running. I managed to reach the cliff before they caught me. I hopped onto it and dropped down, climbing between the rocks, I could hear the three stopping on the edge of the cliff, cursing me. One of them tried to throw me with his spear, but it missed. The cliff was not very tall, but now I had some distance as they had to go around it. I kept running, trying to look for a place to hide since even in my panic I knew I couldn’t outrun them.

Suddenly, the ground beneath my feet quaked and an even larger eldalg jumped in front of me. Stopping me in my place with a strange pole weapon with a dull hook on it, he pushed me to the ground and held me there. He was different from the three I had seen in the clearing, he looked much older and his fur was white, shimmering even under the shadows of the trees. His dense mane ran down his spine, all the way to the short tail. The white eldalg stomped his hooves near me, warning me to stay put. The others arrived soon enough, but when the white eldalg lifted his hand, they nodded and went back. The large creature before me watched me carefully, stomping his hooves every time I tried to move even a little.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “I mean you no harm” I lifted my arms up, trying to show them I was not afraid. The white eldalg huffed and lifted my chin with his hooked weapon. I looked at him in despair, trembling from fear.

“You’re human…” The white eldalg scoffed, “Get up or I’ll smash your brains in right here!” he demanded and I obeyed, still holding my arms up. He jabbed me with his weapon to make me turn and pushed me to walk deep into the woods. I didn’t have the courage to ask him where he was taking me or what he was going to do with me. We didn’t go past the trading clearing, I thought about the giant chief, things he had said, and how much I wished I had stayed in the village, but it was too late now, and once again I was facing the unknown.

Eventually, we arrived at the small encampment they had, they had shelters made from moss and large fallen branches, but it was certainly only a temporary camp. I saw at least ten more eldalgen, their furs came in various colors from black to brown and tan. Their ears moved forward when they saw me.

Until I saw something.

The older elven man sat in the middle of the camp, holding a book in his hands, when he saw me his eyes widened and he smiled at me gently. As we got closer I realized I knew him. He was the man who had written books about the eldalgen, at least the most known to do so. During my journey here I had read his books, hoping to be able to learn as much as he had and more.

The old man's long greying hair was in a ponytail and he wore robes which made him blend into the surrounding area. I was happy to see another humanoid, thinking maybe these beasts could be reasoned with and I could leave alive.

“Prepare him!” The white eldalg commanded the old man. He grabbed me by the shoulder agreeing to do so and led me into one of the shelters they had made.

“Oh, how glad I am to see you!” the elf exclaimed, “I’m finally going to see it!”

“See what? Can you help me to get out?” I asked, relief turning into panic.

“Oh, you don’t want to go after you see it too. I never had the chance to experience it myself, but you have the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!” when those words left his lips I knew the man was mad.

The shelter was surprisingly cozy and looked lived in. Defeated, I sat on the brach he pointed me to. The elf used a mix of herbs and pitch to balm my wounds, healing them almost instantly. The elf had collected all kinds of herbs and items and hung them into the branches inside the shelter. He also had pieces of glowing crystals around the place to light the area.

“What am I going to experience?” I whispered, afraid of what I might hear.

“You were the forest king's first human catch of the season, you get to live, but you will be his sheath, you will be proudly presented to all!” The old man sounded hysterical, his words made no sense to me.

He pushed me back outside, following me. The white eldalg grabbed me with his hook and jabbed me again, forcing me to move towards the center of the camp where the elf had been sitting. There was also a large ring made from tree branches, surrounding a raised wooden altar of sorts. I was pushed to walk in the middle, now being higher than everyone else, the white bull followed me as everyone gathered around, looking expectantly at us.

“Once again, I have the blessing of the forest as its king!” The white eldalg yelled, making his subjects clamor in joy. Then the king pushed me towards the altar.

╭ᑎ╮

“Remove your clothes and bend over,” he commanded with a booming voice.

Oh, no, I thought to myself only to feel another jab with the hook on my back. I stepped forward, wanting to stay alive and undressed. The cheering around the altar got louder as I bent over the altar. The king put down his hook and stood behind me, putting his front hooves on top of the altar next to me.

“I shall take you as my sheath,” he said and as I glanced behind I knew what he meant. His large throbbing member was being anointed by the old man. Carefully, he rubbed a mix of herbs and potions on it. It had to be almost as tall as me, flared from the tip, and large enough so I could see the hole in the front, the whole shaft standing as firmly as the king behind me.

I licked my lips as I looked at it. I had already tried what it felt like to have a giant inside, why not this? Daringly, I lifted my rear as a sign to him, and the king seemed almost confused by my sudden eagerness. He smiled at me and stepped forward. His tip touched the base of my neck and I knew I had been right, it was as long as me and thicker than my muscular arms.

The king began to smear the just-applied balm on my back with his cock, giving a forceful stroke every now and then to see my reaction. The people below us clamored at the sight when he placed his crown against my opening, slowly pushing it into my pussy, spreading my legs farther apart, and stretching me open. I moaned as he slowly filled me, his tip nearly buried past the opening. My breasts were pined between my body and the altar. It felt like the king’s member was going to split me in half even before it was halfway in. I don’t know how, but it felt like it went through me, the girth bulged my belly far greater than how the giant chieftain had been able to. My eyes rolled back when I thought I could feel the tip under my heart, knowing it wasn’t possible. The king had still length to give, when he pulled back, blocking my entrance with the flared tip. I moaned under him, grabbing his hooves and pulling his fur.

“Please, let me have it all…” I whimpered, but the king was not my servant. He stepped back as the old man came to me and began to pull straps over my body, not really binding me to anything.

“You’re doing wonderfully,” he whispered into my ear, before giving room for the king. The king lifted his hooves back on the altar and quickly impaled me deeply with his cock, making me yell in the process. As quickly as it had been done, I could feel the straps around me being tightened, and the king lifted his hooves in the air, I had been strapped under his groin. His cock was deep within me. As the king bucked his rear legs, mine moved with them, making him reach even deeper.

I was the sheath for his engorged cock.

The king stepped down from the altar and walked among his subjects, them looking at him in awe. Each step made his member pump into me and I gasped with each one. Everyone in the camp saw me and the old elf came over even to pet my enlarged belly. I panted as the king took me into the forest, constantly pumping into me. I could feel something warm beginning to spread from where his flared tip was bulging. He stopped only to thrust with his member, moaning when he came, filling me even more. After he had recovered from his first climax, he kept on walking through the forest, keeping his member deep within me.

No one else had followed us and we didn’t speak at all.

He found a fallen tree and lifted his front legs onto it, pinning me against the tree. The king began to pommel my used body in a rut, I started to feel his cum in my mouth. The creamy fluid and my body grinding against the tree made me cum, my pussy taking an even tighter hold on his cock.

The king chuckled and stepped off from the tree trunk. Walking with me again, stopping every so often to thrust and filling me with more cum. My belly was far larger than it should be, but I was still able to take more loads, my mind was now in complete ecstasy, my nerves were firing up from pleasure and my climax felt like it had no end. The king’s cum kept leaking out from both of my holes. Every step sent tingles through my whole body.

To tease me, the king walked to a clearing and galloped, hastening his thrusts, my moans kept his cock hard. I lost how much time had passed and how many times he or I had come when he finally took me back to the camp. The king was tired and the elf with the help of the other eldalgen pulled me down, holding me up because I was unable to move on my own at all. As we walked, the king’s seed poured out of my gaping hole, leaving a trail behind.

The king had his own shelter, far larger than the others and I was carried there. The king entered first and I saw the same glimmering crystals as the elf had had in his home. The place was near the altar and the floor was filled with soft branches from leaf trees. The king lay on one of them and I was placed next to him. Like with the giant chief, the king’s seed stayed for the most part still inside me. Still panting, finally coming down, I looked at the king, who brushed my hair with his hand, looking happily at me, keeping his other hand on my massive bulge.

“How long will I be your sheath?” I asked, almost falling asleep before he could answer.

“As long as you want it and can take it,” the king answered back softly, letting me finally rest. next to him.

The Eldalgen fascinated me even more after all this and I knew right then that coming here was the right thing to do.

[memo-blogs]

Here With Me (part I)

Pairing: Spawn Astarion x female (Durge*) Tav *not relevant in this segment/will come apparent later in the story

Tags: angst, fluff, foreplay

Summary: Months after the end of the game (SPOILERS, ye be warned) Tav gets bothered by Astarion's absent looks in bed and it results in NO SEX, heck >:( Just when things were getting amazing!

A/N: This is a three-parter series where things are oof before they get nice and spicy. I hope someone wants to read something so I feel like sharing the rest… Ps. waiting on my AO3 account, who knew you had to queue for one for like 2 weeks!? If and when I get one, there is spicier than Tumblr allows fanart inspired by this fic available, huhu. Hope you like! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They returned home, walking hand in hand down the now familiar forest path to the small opening in the woods that revealed their cozy two-story home in the woods. Tav glanced to her side to her partner Astarion, and smiled. He caught her looking, and smiled back. They were returning from an exhilarating night of trying to teach the vampire spawn in the Underdark to navigate their new normal. There had been peril, confusion, unpleasant surprises – all the things they had grown so accustomed to tackle and turn into success together. Tav recalled how, despite starting with snark and frustration at one of the spawn Gur kids losing control of her hunger and lunging at an innocent deep gnome as a result… Astarion had controlled himself. How gently he knelt to the Gur’s level, and let the child know he felt the same hunger, and gave her guidance. In the end, she had hugged Astarion, who enjoyed it more than he let on. It was remarkable how he managed to make controlling their impulses more into a fun game rather than an addiction they’d have to combat for the rest of their undead lives. As they opened the door to their abode, Tav thought back to the months spent with Astarion after defeating the Netherbrain – how little by little, he was less spiteful, less vengeful… and more relaxed and happy. Astarion had become forgiving. He had become kind and caring, in his own way. He was still vain and could not for the life of him stop that sarcastic little tongue of his – but his actions showed he cared about the new life he had built with Tav. He cared about, at the very least, not making things worse when he ventured out into the world. Which was saying a lot, for a vampire. Exhausted, they shed their armours. “Tsk”, Tav tutted as she lovingly tucked one of Astarion’s beautiful locks behind his ear. “Today’s escapades have left you absolutely filthy.” Astarion turned around and began to walk towards their washroom, stretching like a cat as he glanced over his shoulder back at Tav. “Well,” he said with a grin. “I suppose we’ll need to do something about that, darling.” They bathed together and Tav allowed herself to be lost in how much she had come to love this silly man before her. Every day, he seemed more beautiful than the last, and every which way she thought of the person he was, she grew fonder of him. Once clean and dried off, he led them down to their basement bedroom, knowing full well what Tav wanted. She kissed him hungrily and he answered expertly as always. Tav was quickly getting lost in Astarion and all they were sharing, and it was one of the best feelings in the world. Astarion gently pushed her to lie down, and she obliged. Panting, she felt Astarion gently parting her legs, and she opened her eyes to look at what was coming next – only to have her heart sink. There it was again. That thousand yard stare of his. She barely even noticed how masterfully he was caressing her legs and in between to bring her pleasure. She couldn’t really even feel it. Not anymore. The moment was ruined because he wasn’t… present. “Stop”, Tav whispered. 

Astarion looked up, almost as if in a daze. “What?” Tav pulled her legs close to herself, hugging her own knees. She shook her head. “I can’t do this anymore, Astarion.” She looked at him, her face full of sorrow.

“I – what happened? Did I do something wrong?” He looked so scared. Confused. Astarion didn’t understand – he knew he was good, he had done this so many times to her, and countless others. So why was Tav crying?

“I just...” Tav came to sit next to Astarion, and held his hand. Gave it an affirming squeeze. The look he gave her was bewildered. For a while, they sat there awkwardly in silence, holding hands. Finally, Tav let out a shaky sigh.

“Astarion. What am I to you?”

“I’ve told you – you’re the first person I truly care for.”

Tav turned to look at Astarion. “So why -” she took a calming breath of air before finishing her sentence, “why do you have sex with me as if I’m one of your victims?”

“What?”

Tav got up and walked around their room in circles. She waved her hands around as she spoke. “Every time, save maybe the one time by your grave, when you and I are intimate, you’re miles away. You’re not here. You shut down emotionally and just… put your heart and soul somewhere else.” Tav stopped pacing and faced Astarion. “Am I someone you need to forget?”

“Of course not!” Astarion looked like a deer in headlights.

Tav pressed on. “Then why do you perform like this is a duty where you try to be as little a part of it as you can?”

Astarion was beginning to panic, and he wasn’t sure why. “I don’t – you’ve been happy with it so far, haven’t you? What’s changed?” He found safety in being annoyed. “Why is this a problem now?” He spat out.

He was ready to fight. To argue. To even woo her over with his skills and give her what her body obviously craved to make this irritating conversation go away – but he was not ready for how he saw Tav deflate in front of him, and weep silently. With each tear she shed, the anger he was using to hide behind was fading. He was so lost, and afraid. They were silent for a while again, both too afraid to utter the next thing, in case it was the one thing that would sunder them.

“What’s changed?” Tav echoed silently. She quietly walked back to Astarion, and caressed his cheek. She let her hand wander through his white hair, down his neck and to his shoulder. She softly pulled him into a hug. “I love you more than I love myself” she whispered in his ear. She pulled away to look at him again. “And I cannot bear the thought of making you please me. I am not your maker. I am not your owner – I had hoped I was your equal. Your lover”, she finished with a sad smile.

Astarion stammered. “Y-you are!”

“Then where do you go, when we make love? Why do you go, and leave me here alone?”

He wanted to deny it. He wanted to never have this talk. It was too difficult – he just wanted to forget, and enjoy himself. Everything had been so wonderful, so why did she have to bring this up? Why couldn’t this stay buried, like so much of his past? He found himself breathing hard, like he was about to either take a swing at Tav, or run off. Yet she still stood in front of him, waiting. What could he say? What did she want to hear? While rare, Astarion found himself at a loss for words. He couldn’t make out what he felt, he felt too many things – anger, fear, he felt vulnerable, weak… exposed. He settled on making an irritated noise and to look away from Tav. It was all he could muster.

“I love you”, Tav repeated. “And I can’t do this when it feels like you’re still letting yourself be used.” She put on a robe and walked towards the door, stealing one last tearful glance at her vampire companion. “It hurts us both when you do.” And with that, she left.

[brickcentral]

Review: LEGO Ideas 21348 Dungeons & Dragons

After many Lego Ideas attempts and a massively successful Ideas challenge campaign, Lego is finally releasing a set to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Dungeons and Dragons. The winner of the challenge, Dragon's Keep: Journey's End, designed by BoltBuilds, was selected through an exciting fan vote. Although the set is not an exact copy of the submission, which is to be expected, it delivers an incredible experience.

The sets presents itself like a One-Shot Adventure. There is a QR code with a link in the build instructions to download the adventure, with pre-designed characters and a few scenarios to feed the adventure. There is a brief description on the monsters and the characters and some intro to the Dungeons & Dragons history. Full disclaimer, I haven't had my hands on the actual adventure that comes with the set (the code does not work yet), so this is mostly based on intuition and guesses. I will try my best to avoid any spoilers.

If you are a DnD player, or even more a dungeon master, building the set itself is pure joy. As you go along creating the parts of the set, you also go along building secrets, treasures, traps, monster hideouts... No brick is placed randomly and there is a purpose for even the smaller space. You feel like you are preparing the stage for your players.

The heroes and the NPCs

The adventure comes with four pre-designed heroes: A Dwarf Cleric, a Gnome Fighter, and Orc Rogue and an Elf Wizard. All three come with two different heads, male and female, with the exception of the orc that just has two different expressions. They are customizable up to a degree, including weapons and spells.

Besides the heroes, we have two NPCs: the innkeeper (also two heads for male/female) and a green dragonborn, which uses the head mould from the Vidiyo series.

The monsters

There is a surprisingly large selection of monsters in the set. A gelatinous cube (which was teased on social media), a beholder, an owlbear, a mimic (or two?), a displacer beast, a treant, two Myconid? (I'm not sure if that's what they are meant to be), several skeletons and a large red dragon.

The smaller monsters are all brick-built and very well made, in perfect proportion for the heroes and to fit inside the scenarios. The owlbear and the beholder however might be too big to put inside the buildings or ruins though, so maybe they will just appear in specific places, but both of them are gorgeous builds.

The dragon itself is huge and beautiful, but delicate. I keep having to reattach the legs often when trying to pose it. The head also keeps looking down, since there is not much friction on the ball joint and the head is too big and heavy for it. And yes, there are printed tiles for the eyes! They are just almost impossible to see behind the horns.

The scenarios

The set is divided into four different builds with their respective books of instructions: the inn, the forest/dungeons, the tower, and the dragon. All three have different styles and building techniques, so it makes the building experience entertaining. I'm not a fan of the blue/purple roof of the inn, but I agree that it needed a color pop to separate it from the rest of the build and the dragon.

All three are open in the back, to allow the players to move around. For a toy photographer, this gives the chance to shoot many different scenes. They are also modular and can be easily separated, I'm assuming to allow players to go around discovering each one individually as they explore the environment. On their own, the scenarios are small, so I'm guessing movement will have to be limited or counted by studs.

Everyone knows a good adventure starts and ends on an inn. Our heroes need a place to rest and prepare for the coming adventure, so I'm guessing this is where the adventure will begin.

Some details will have to be described by the Dungeon Masters, otherwise I don't see how four players's heads can look into the tiny inn and say: "Hey, I want to investigate the chest, it looks interesting" or "That brick has a different color, I want to know if I can move it". It will also look very cramped if all four minifigures try to be in the same room investigating or fighting a monster.

There are already a few secrets on the inn for the more curious adventurers, and food and drinks for the more relaxed ones.

As they leave the inn they will most likely step into the forest, and from there, several paths can be followed. One could go through the ruins, or the dungeons, explore both, or find a completely new path to the tower (which I assume is the final destination).

On the way, there will be treasure to be found, weapons and spells, some potions... These are things to prepare for the upcoming final battle. But to get to those there will be monsters and traps and mysteries to be solved.

As with the inn, the space is very small to see and put all the players in, so the Dungeon Master must be very involved in describing and hinting so the players can be more successful at finding these secrets.

Eventually, they would reach the tower where there is a climb up to the adventure finale. I don't want to show much there to avoid spoilers, but the same applies here. Secrets to be found and possibly the story will unfold into an unexpected conclusion.

Verdict

With a high price of 359,99€/$359.99 and 3745 pieces, it is a large and expensive set. But for both LEGO and Dungeons & Dragons fans, if you can afford it, this one is worth it. The joy of physically building the adventure and being able to play with the characters and monsters is for me what makes it so great.

I also believe that most of the scenes are rather a visual reference than a playing grid, it does feel small for four players to move around and still be able to see the surroundings, let alone have full battles in a few squared studs. But I'm more than happy to try!

I would also say that fans of medieval fantasy would probably enjoy the set, but perhaps some of the lore will pass unnoticed. However, for those who are not DnD or Medieval theme fans, it might not be worth it at all.

As a toy photographer, heavily invested in fantasy themes, I love all the different backgrounds and characters that come with the set. It feels like there are so many storytelling possibilities, so many moments to capture, and it has so much potential for modifications. You could add your own characters for the story, add a few more treasures and traps, or create your own adventure.

[ideas-4-stories]

helloooo! I am once again sharing the cross guild Argentina au ideas. the brainworms are brainworming

also, Romantic Cross Guild!

•Alone, Mihawk would only drink fernet straight up and treat it with as much reverence as a glass of wine. But! With Buggy he starts to be fond of sharing it back and forth as it is meant to, a drink to be shared and enjoyed, he starts to get more loose and eventually he learns to share the moments and be a part of a group that loves him just as much as he loves them. Crocodile wasn't fond of fernet to begin with, but he also got fond of it after Buggy taught them the love that can be shared with it.

•Buggy has an atrocious sweet tooth, borderline solid diabetes. What else did we expect from a clown? Anyways, aside from all the piracy criminal stuff that Cross Guild does, I genuinly think that Buggy would beg on his knees, on his hands, pouting, crying and doing the biggest pretty please he could so Crocodile lets him hire bakers so that they would make him his favourite facturas and sweets every morning and also sold off for a little profit, but mostly for him to eat at mreakfast and merienda. Crododile does try his hardest to resist the pouting clown but he's helpless and obligues after a little while. They now have the best bakers money can get in the island and Crocodile and Mihawk get sugary kisses every morning now. They might have started liking sugar more if it is in their daily clown kisses...but nobody has to know that shhh. Also now on their list of services to offer they have Sweet Argentinian Facturas among other silly little things like murder, kidnapping, taking down pirate ships, y'know, the usual.

•Crocodile is one of the only people in the whole island that drinks mate the bitterest shit yerba can get it and as hot as volcanic lava, nobody wants to drink with him. Mihawk doesn't drink mate, he's more of a terere guy, and Buggy drinks mate with one kilo of sugar on top and midly cold (hes just like me fr). So that's why all three only share the table they put the things on. Every evening at merienda time the table has one stanley termo (like a one liter thing that stores water and keeps it hot), one jug of iced juice, one flashy hand-painted classic metalic kettle, and a distressful amount of sweets and sandwiches and bizcochos of various types and forms. It is always full of color and warmth and love.

▪︎Buggy can and will gobble up a whole jar of dulce de leche with spoonfulls. Croco and Mihawk are horrified.

▪︎Mihawk mainly dresses whith white loose shirts, used to hot climate like in Cordoba. So the moment winter starts he does not go out at all, he is deep in blankets. Buggy and Croco are very amused, but also find it a little cute

▪︎Crocodile gets up at 6am no matter what, even worse, he is an old ass cranky morning person. Mihawk and Buggy do not like it but, he is THEIR old ass cranky morning person, what're they gonna do about it?

(In this AU I headcanon Karai Bari island as looking less tropical and more like the woods around El Bólson(a village?city?town?in argentina) incluiding all the mountains and cascades and rivers and lakes and woods there are there, so the next places i will name are real ones, you can google them i love them all)

•As their first official date together they decide that nothings better than the Bosque de las Hadas (Fairy Forest) because of how magical and quiet it is there, after all, the fairys and gnomes are just stories, right?

Well, turns out stories are there for a reason, the start the date and everything is beautiful and they have the whole forest to themselves so they go al lovey dovey and suddenly they start hearing weird shit until they have to run out of the forest with Crocodiles help. At the end they had a disastrous date and Mihawk was kinda devastated inside, cuz he had suggested the Fairie Forest, but his partners made sure to make him know that it was interesting anyway and they spent a good time even if they were chased off by tiny feral fairies. Smooches are required and they do...other things too...

•As for their next day, they try a place with less magic in it, they fo to the Waterfalls. They have to do a little hicking; Mihawk is unbothered and enjoying the forest, Crocodile cheats with his sand a little, and Buggy whines the whole way up even if he is enjoying it, his whining stops when Crocodile puts him up on his shoulders and does indecent and spontaneous ass-grabbing. The Waterfalls gets to witness public indecency. It is a beautiful and succesful second date.

oooops i got carried away. anyway thank u for your time! have a good day :}

Sorry it took so long to reply, many long projects for school came one after another. Then I had no motivation for some days, but I'm back and I just have to say that I love these ideas. Them drinking together with something they either don’t drink with others or don’t drink at all is so cute to imagine!

I’ve heard ideas where Devil Fruit users need something that gives them energy or something like that… it could be food of some sort or smoking. I wonder if that’s true, Buggy’s must be sugar. Poor Mihawk and Crocodile, watching Buggy eat an entire dinner worth of sugar a day like Crocodile smoking through a pack or two of cigars a day isn’t bad as well.

I’m chuckling because I see Mihawk popping his head out of some blankets with Crocodile and Buggy, thinking Mihawk is being so cute. Love that Crocodile is their cranky old person in the morning. Karai Bari being more woodland area than topical looks nice in my mind, the fairy forest with little feral fae chasing them is so funny to think about. I wonder who pissed them off? The second date is everything, Buggy complaining about the shits n giggles, then gets lifted up onto Crocodile’s shoulder, now able to see more things with price of some public indecency.

[zedortoo]

Pizza Autism: the novella

Pizza Tower autism and/or ADHD headcanons go go go!!!!

warning there is. So much under the cut. I go off about everyone's tism

Peppino:

-Middle aged man autism. Ohh my god this guy is so autism we're starting off strong

-Most of his stims are physical and are probably. Not the most healthy (biting, banging wrists together, hair pulling etc)

-He has arfid frfr! Despite being a chef he's very careful about what he eats, however most italian foods are safe foods for him.

-Struggle showing empathy, even if he feels it. Yall saw how he reacted to Gerome mourning John he was out of his depth 😭

Gustavo:

-gnome autism.

-poor dude can't understand sarcasm to save his life. Also really bad at comprehending deeper meanings and stuff... Honestly me too Gustavo. Me too.

-actually gets overstimulated really easily. he grew up in a place similar to the gnome forest in the tower, where the air was always somewhat humid. If there's a dehumidifier running anywhere he can practically sense it and will immediately get upset bc he is too dry 💔

-His stims are mainly vocal (i.e. "I'm going to kill you") but he also likes to bounce on the balls of his feet and rock back and forth!

Mr Stick:

-French autism

-Hes not actually a huge asshole all the time, SURE he can be blunt and come off as rude but most of the time the mean persona is a mask. His really close friends know he's just a weird dude

-(stole this idea from Olympe) He is a routine lover!! Has his entire day planned out as soon as he wakes up. If you get in the way of his routine you will be turned into an ambiguous ball of meat. He was SOOOO pissed off when he got stuck in the tower bc it's wasn't in his routine so he robbed the whole damn place out of malice

-Innapropriate reactions to sensetive situations. If he had to comfort someone it would be Joever for him.

-Represses most stims because he thinks he's embarrassing. When in private though he'll spend ages examining textures and smelling paper (I do this all the time it's so fun). Occasionally when he's tired or comfortable he'll let out a high pitched squeak that noone can believe came from that middle aged man.

-I could go on with more. I love talking about this cunt.

Pepperman:

-Capsicum autism.

-Also has inappropriate reactions to things. Has no vocal control either half of the time he doesn't realize he's yelling

-Has a habit of chewing on/wanting to taste everything. Ate several wardrobes worth of Polly pocket clothes as a kid probs. Has to physically stop himself from giving his art supplies a taste. Occasionally eats an eraser still.

-If someone reorganizes his shit they WILL be killed this dude knows exactly where everything he needs is he has his own fucked up system

-Mainly uses stim toys. Has a collection of high end custom made ones but is too afraid of wearing them out so he chews on a toy dog bone instead and it's mangled to BITS

Vigilante:

-Cheese autism.

-This dude has know idea what autism actually is. He knows he's different compared to a lot of people, but he's never had the right word for it.

-Strong sense of justice. If something is wrong he WILL set it right. He got super upset when he realized Peppino wasn't actually an outlaw and he had tried to kill an innocent dude

-HATES HATES HATES processed foods. says he can taste the chemicals.

-Doesnt really stim in public. He'll tap his boot or spin the barrel of his gun if he gets really overstimulated but he much prefers to just pet some of his farm animals until he feels better

Noise:

-Rat autism!!

-This dude constantly needs to be overstimulated he loves it. If things are too quiet he gets super upset and starts bouncing off the walls and shit

-HATES the texture of carbonated drinks but forces himself to drink them because the flavour is worth it.

-Hes has like, three masks on at all times. There's the feral showbiz fella we all know and love, then beneath that is a more controlled businessman type, and beneath THAT is another, slightly less feral rat man.

-goes semi verbal sometimes. Everything just gets tangled up in his mind and he can't spit out the words he wants. He hates it when this happens during a show.

Noisette:

-Bunny autism!!!

-classic weirdgirl type. Would totally read warrior cats and roleplay as a cat on the playground as a kid.

-Also really bad with understanding emotions. You have to tell her specifically if she's upset you or something otherwise she just will not realize.

-makes a lot of vocal stims. Mainly just little beeps and stuff (I like to think she'd make that one jerma substitute teacher noise. Does anyone know what I'm talking about) Also loves to rock back and forth!!

-Has texture issues. She personally disposed of all the Sherpa fleece in the tower.

Fake peppino:

-autism supreme.

-like fr this dude is just the embodiment of autism. it eats vaccines to get more autistic/j

-cant understand when it's making someone upset. Actually, similar to Noisette, is bad at perceiving negative emotions overall.

-mirrors a lot. I mean that's like an integral part of their character. They mainly take after Peppino but will start acting like someone if he's around them long enough.

-melts into a puddle when overstimulated. Honestly? I wish I could do that too.

-Mainly mirrors stims from friends. It freaked everyone out when they started repeating Gustavo's catchphrase.

Pizzahead:

-PIZZA AUTISM!!!

-horrible moral compass this dude will do anything she wants and genuinely won't see what's wrong with it. Case in point the whole of pizza tower

-used to mask her true silly self a lot to be considered more 'normal' but decided normal ppl were boring as hell and dropped the charade

-arfid haver!! Loves pastries and breads and stuff, basically refuses to eat anything else. Has a personal vendetta against cantaloupe and has vowed to destroy it all bc he hates it soooo much

-taps his foot as a stim!! Also likes to jump around and the like, will rapidly shake their fists if incredibly excited

Gerome:

-Rock autism

-This guy loves his own company. Sure, he'll happily be social, but drops the mask as soon as he's alone. Just likes to be alone!

-Also not big on touch. The only person who's allowed to lay a finger on him is John, if anyone else just like. pats him on the back he will freeze up.

-loves being a janitor because the job is mostly repetitive. He cleans each floor in his own order, he has it all sorted out!

-loves bath bombs and stuff. Really likes the smells and just the fizz and the way they crumble in his fingers. Sometimes he'll just throw one in the sink and watch it for ages

-makes this weird clicking noise in the back of his throat as a stim. It's a rather unsettling noise but it's really the only way he stims in public. When alone he likes to feel textures of different things

John:

-hivemind autism!

-I feel bad for this dude man imagine having your being spread out through several different pocket dimensions and all of them have different textures and shot this poor bugger must've been overstimulated for years

-very blunt. Says what he wants with no remorse. Also doesn't have any volume control so often doesn't realize he's yelling

-I imagine when he was resurrected and was no longer a hivemind he had to take a long time alone just being himself. Duuuude imagine having to mask for YEARS because you were never ever alone I would lose my fucking marbles

-opposite of his brother, he doesn't understand personal space. Will often accidentally get I'm ppls faces because he doesn't realize how close he is to them. This also makes him somewhat clumsy and he has a habit of running into things

-Mainly has facial/expression stims. Will pull a big ol' grimace if something goes wrong and grin like an idiot when happy (see: when he got revived)