#the thing that sucks is that a queer story in the world of Persona would be interesting and this gets VERY CLOSE TO DOING IT TWICE

[cluescorner]

It is no secret that I like P4. That being said, Bloom into You sweep.

[butterflywithsass]

The good, the bad, and the ineffable omens. What makes Good Omens special.

I'm not very good at making posts on here so sorry if the formatting sucks. It's the anniversary of season two, and thinking back on everything, it's incredible how much has happened since it came out. I might get a bit long-winded, so if that's not your thing, just scroll on by. I'm just gonna take a look at why I love Good Omens, why I love the Good Omens fandom, and what the future holds for all of us who love this story.

I guess you could say I'm a bit of a new fan. I watched the first season in 2019. I liked it but I didn't really think about it until I heard it was getting a second season, and I decided to watch it again.

This second watch came at a very strange time in my life. I'd left my very introverted homeschool life behind to go to an art school in another state. I was studying creative writing, and just beginning to dream that I might be an actual writer someday. I've always gotten intensely invested in stories, a part of my ADHD that I've always struggled with. I find a story, and it consumes my soul. I have difficulty expressing emotions in real life, so stories have been an outlet for me to feel things in the persona of a character. It's this incredible power that makes me love storytelling so much. I could go on and on about the beauty of this, but that will get a bit to much so I'll move on. Mah point is...

whenever I would get really invested in a story, my parents would indulge me, but would always feel the need to mention, "You know it's not real, right?"

Anyway, for the first time, I was away from home and I could really indulge in stories without the pressure to disconnect from it to avoid the judgment of my family. For the first time, I could just be in love with a story.

A lot happened during the first year away from home, not all of which is relevant, but around this time I started owning up to my identity as bisexual. Being at an art school meant I was surrounded by queer people from all backgrounds, not all of them had the same support I did, and I witnessed secondhand as my friends went through the pain of having homophobic families who would control what art they made and who they spent time with, threatening to withdraw them from the school if they used certain names or pronouns. It was common for my friends to have a sort of shorthand code for when it was safe to use their preferred name or pronoun. Some came from very religious households, and so religion had been linked very closely to repression.

Good Omens came at a time when I was stretching my wings both in my identity as a person and as a writer and has informed what I write about ever since. As a writer, my work often focuses on themes such as fate and free will, religion and passion, divinity and humanity, and apocalyptic images. Additionally, Good Omens encouraged me to embrace comedy in my writing and to explore the absurd and whimsical. It helped me let go of the vice that held me back from writing things I thought weren't intellectual enough, or weren't creative enough.

I also became aware of the people behind the show, and of course, I grew to admire Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. I admired how Neil Gaiman seemingly defied the inevitable fate of obscure and unsuccessful writers. To me, Neil Gaiman was an example of how writers could actually make it out there in the world. Terry Pratchett, I admit, took less of an interest in because he had been long dead before I became acquainted with Good Omens, and I mistakenly gave Neil Gaiman more credit for the tv show. If you want to know more about why I saw "mistakenly," check out @vidavalor where they talk about the other writers on the show and how much they contributed. It's really quite eye-opening and it gives me hope that the show can continue well enough without Gaimen.

I also grew to become a fan of David Tennent and Micheal Sheen. And when I say a fan of David Tennent, I mean a BIG fan. The Good Omens to Doctor Who pipeline is so f*cking steep I felt like Crowley during the fall. Not just Who, though, I watched stuff like Taking Over the Asylum, Einstein and Eddington, Around the World in 80 Days, Broadchurch, Jessica Jones, Escape Artist, f*king Single Father lol. I even got into Shakespeare because of David Tennent.

The love displayed by the actors for Good Omens feels truly special. Micheal Sheen's devotion to the story shines through in everything he says about it, and David Tennent, though not originally a fan, seems to have grown more and more fond of the story. I think it's not a reach of our imagination to say that the story has become very special to both of them, even more so than to us.

It's rare to see actors treat their roles as more than just a job. The occasional publicity stunt and press tour interviews aside, the roles actors take seldom stick with them, and I think it's a testament to the power of Good Omens that this is not the case for Micheal and David.

Season 2 came out of course, and we all know how that went down. I was has heartbroken as everyone else by the final 15, but I never had any doubt that the story was destined to have a happy ending.

Unlike some shows, where the story likes to flirt with tragedy to keep viewers hooked, Good Omens is not that kind of show. Amidst the pathos and drama of the Christian/Apocalypse setting, with literal heaven and hell involved, the story is relatively clean. I enjoy some Ineffible Husbands spicy fanfiction of course, but I'm glad that Good Omens has remained relatively kid-friendly. Queer themes are so often included only in "adult media," paired with dark themes and often explicit moments making them inaccessible to kids and cementing the idea that Queerness is inherently inappropriate. While Good Omens has the occasional adult reference such as Madam Tracy's side gig as a dominatrix or the 'seamstress,' they are veiled enough to pass. Even the sex scene with Anathama and Newt is comic enough that it can hardly be classified as one. As for heaven and hell, it would be easy to try and stress the darkness of hell through plenty of disturbing subtexts and the brutality of heaven, but here the show errs towards comedy, portraying both sides as corporate systems -- both funny and much more relatable evil than torture or traumatic scenes. It's easier to understand rude co-workers, degrading comments, overbearing bosses and endless paperwork than it is to understand the sources of our perception of good and evil.

Putting Adam Young as the center of the story of season one focuses the entire narrative. At the end of the day, Good Omens is about the ineffable nature of humanity defying all odds (or gods) betting against it. It's a humanist story, showing us that no matter how much the forces of good or evil might like to influence us, whatever we do will up to us.

This theme is constantly referenced, from Crowley's habit of taking credit for anything evil humans do and claiming it was his idea, to Aziraphale's constant assertions that humans are inherently good. It's exemplified by the baby swap disaster, which is a microcosm of this theme. No matter how much the powers above and below might scheme, they're plans generally end up being irrelevant to the choices of humans.

It's why Crowley and Aziraphale love humans so much. Humans are a guide for them, showing them how they can be more than just good and evil, and on our side, it's a hopeful thought to have, that the powers of good and evil looking down on us, instead of judging us, might actually have fallen in love with us along the way. It shows us that we are allowed to love ourselves.

The love that Aziraphale and Crowley have for each other is also at the heart of this story. While it has been discussed at length, it's for good reason. Because we all need a good love story. Amidst the uncertainty and ceaseless change, there is a constant, unbreaking bond between Crowley and Aziraphale-- steady as the revolution of the cosmos. Nothing in the scope of space and time is certain, but this is. We know that because we've seen it. Good Omens manages to create a love story on both a personal and an archetypal scale. On one level, this is a love story between two people from different worlds finding something familiar in each other. It's got the drama of starcrossed love, the steadiness of an age-old love, still with the butterflies of new feelings. As a queer love story, the hope in it is even more important.

Crowley and Aziraphale have all the qualities of two characters that are doomed by the narrative, and as much as I love those types of stories, this is a story about hope and it demands a happy ending. After all, if those two idiots can't get a happy ending, what hope do the rest of us have?

All this is to say, that while the final 15 was shattering emotionally, and still is, I never once doubted that all would be well eventually.

The recent accusations against Neil Gaiman came as a shock to me. I admittedly didn't know all that much about him as a person, but I looked up to him as a writer, as I said. The more that is revealed, the more truthful they become. I hoped that these allegations would end up as a big misunderstanding, and I questioned the timing just after David Tennent was attacked online for his support of the lgbtq community. However, the more information about Gaimen comes to light, the less it looks like a mistake.

This leaves us in a difficult position. It is not selfish to worry about the future of Good Omens. It is not foolish to be surprised. It is not naive to feel betrayed. It would be easy to come to the conclusion that 'no one should be trusted,' or to feel that the whole story has been tainted. It's so easy to write off the whole story as 'ethically complicated' so you don't have to examine your feelings critically. It's easy to 'boycott,' something so you don't have to deal with it, as if by not engaging with it, it's not real. I would urge you not to do this. boycotting a story is not as simple as just refusing to buy a product. Stories are part of culture and identity, to a certain extent, the person you are hurting the most is yourself.

There's a reason I spent so long describing why Good Omens is such an incredibly powerful story, because Neil Gaiman's actions negate none of that. The meaning of Good Omens is not dependent on the actions of the author. A truth is still true, even from the mouth of a liar.

Before I loved Good Omens, I loved Harry Potter. Despite JK Rowling's general shittiness, Harry Potter has brought goodness to people's lives, and even though some themes in the story ought to be examined more critically, the joy and comfort those stories brought also cannot be ignored. I was ten when I started reading Harry Potter. I was too young to grasp the homophonic or anti-semetic undertones in the story, and ironically, Harry Potter taught me to by an ally before I even knew I was queer. Before reading Harry Potter, I didn't know what gay was. After hearing Dumbledore was 'gay,' I did a google search and looked up the term in a dictionary. I remember my thoughts being, "you can do that?" and then, "why are people so upset?"

The point of this Harry Potter tangent is to say that while the intentions of the author may influence a story, the author ultimately can't control the effect the story will have on others. Once it is published, a significant part of it no longer belongs to them. They can't control what messages other people find in it, and they lose the right to decide what messages are true or not. If Neil Gaimen were to say today that Good Omens is all a very complicated metaphor for masturbation, that announcement would mean zilch.

Additionally, Neil Gaiman isn't even the only author! You don't have to give him all that credit to start with. Once again, refer to @vidavalor for info on the other amazing people who may have had a bigger hand in writing our favorite moments that we thought.

The Good Omens fandom has taught me not to be ashamed for loving a fictional story. I've been in the Lotr, Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Marvel, Sherlock, and countless other fandoms, and I can easily say that Good Omens is the most supportive, the most accepting, the most decent online fan community I've found.

We can hang in there. We've loved Good Omens since the book came out, we've loved Good Omens since before I was born, and we loved it even when we lost Terry Pratchett. We loved Good Omens when we thought there would never be a show, and when we thought one season was all there would be. Good Omens has so many kind and talented people behind it and so much love for it. Neil Gaimen will not sink us now. He doesn't have that much power.

@davidtennantgenderenvy also has a video on this that is very thoughtful.

[fyeahwebnovels]

ONGOING

Webnovels in this directory are still updating, and/or are a part of experimental formats that are still updating (i.e. a series of webnovels set in the same universe, contained on the same website, where some are complete but others are updating currently).

Astielle by kitty unpretty (romance, fantasy, queer)

A half-feral hero, a monster king, a bastard prince, and an open world. Bound by destiny, they save or slay one another, an endless cycle of death and rebirth. When the Moonlight Monster rises, the Starlight Hero is Astielle’s only hope. Unfortunately, she’s a little busy with her rock collection.

BEHOLD! by Rune (comedy, queer, fantasy, adventure)

For a thousand years stories of world-saving hero Butterbar the Beautiful have inspired bravery, heroism, and mythic levels of hypermasculine dumbshittery. Now Butterbar’s tomb is opening and every would-be hero on the Earthshard is gathering to claim his power–and also Naewoon, a disgraced academic come to the edge of the world to study Butterbar’s worshipers. Beginning his journey by almost getting murdered by bandits, Naewoon is rescued by Brodcrum the Bloody, an enormous warrior and self-described “man-witch” who has mistaken the diminutive scholar for a damsel in distress. Each fascinated by the other, Brodcrum and Naewoon set off together–and are forced to cooperate with Brodcrum’s ex and her scary spider-covered wife when surprise attacks by two competing dark lords leave the tomb pilgrims scattered. Now, with undead hordes and high tech imperialists on their heels, the four adventurers seek the tomb–a quest that will reshape their world and themselves.

Blank Slate by Michael Blankslate (fantasy)

A dark fantasy web serial about fire.

Brennus by Tieshaunn (superhero, historical)

This is the story of a world where powers appeared in the Roaring Twenties and caused history to take a very strange turn. More precisely, it’s the story of a bunch of young people, whom gain powers and set out to change the world their precursors made. And even more precisely, it’s the story of Basil, maybe, a young gadgeteer, and the trials and tribulations he faces on his path to a goal he himself knows little of.

Children of the Wells by various authors (fantasy)

In a nutshell, Children of the Wells is a series of novellas set in a fantasy world that developed along similar technological lines as our own but with magic as the energy source. Then stuff goes BOOM! and our story begins.

Chum by reachartwork (superhero, slice-of-life)

Chum is a story about superheroes, supervillains, people with powers who reject either label, sharks, fishing, Philadelphia, the Jersey Shore but the part that’s full of old Jewish people and not party people, how growing up sucks, how authority sucks, how fascists suck, cancer, and teeth.

Collapse Protocol by Vern Carson (sci fi, action, queer)

Sen Devartani is a pretty ordinary guy, save for one thing - his all-too-autonomous imagination. An imagination that's managed to create a fictional persona, complete with memories that shouldn't exist. All handily delivered to him in the form of unexpected blackouts. Culwell is a superhuman being in a system where he is unmatched. He's the product of an experiment to create a perfect being, and Culwell is just that: perfect. He intends to bring the entirety of humanity under his rule, and that means heading onto the battlefield himself. Even the satellite colonies around Venus aren't safe. Sen's entire world is shattered the moment Culwell descends on Mars and targets his home. He loses everything, his family slaughtered by Culwell himself, all for a war he doesn't understand. As he's sucked into the conflict, he slowly realizes why his family was targeted, as well as who - or what - he is.

The Descendants by Landon Porter (superhero)

The Descendants is the title of the main series in a family of web serial novels set in the Descendants Universe. It follows a group of individuals with supernatural powers (collectively known at the beginning of the series as psionics) following their discovery that they’ve been betrayed by the Psionics Training and Application and Academy, a school founded to train young psionics to use their powers for the good of their nation.

The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere by Lurina (fantasy, mystery, horror)

The world is in the midst of a golden age. Humanity has been largely united under a single government for two centuries, scarcity has been all but eliminated, and the human lifespan has been extended further than ever before, with many living for five centuries or longer. Yet cracks have begun to form in this utopia. Progress in science has outpaced social values, leading to conflict as the new generation struggles with the prospect of perpetual disenfranchisement under their all-but-unaging elders. In this era of transition, a class of gifted young arcanists are invited to attend a conclave held by the enigmatic Order of the Universal Panacea, an ancient organization devoted to pursuing the secret of true immortality. Several of the participants, however, have ulterior motives for attending, including Utsushikome of Fusai, a young prodigy of Thanatomancy whose grandfather was once a member. But unbeknownst to them, there is a curse on the Order of the Universal Panacea. One does not defy death and the natural order lightly. And an uninvited guest may already lurk among them; one that is not human. In the end, all of them will have to ask: What can be found in this world, that is truly eternal? The curtain rises on this, mankind's final battle with entropy, and the possible outcomes are death, or a slightly later, more complicated form of death. Even so, please try to enjoy yourself.

The Gods are Bastards by D.D. Webb (steampunk, western, historical, fantasy)

Set in a familiar high-fantasy universe of wizards, dragons and elves, the action takes place roughly fifteen hundred years after the medieval stasis in which most high fantasy is set, during an era much like Earth’s Industrial Revolution.  Mass production of enchanted goods has revolutionized all aspects of life, energy weapons have made blades and armor all but obsolete, and the world is connected and illuminated by magical analogues of trains, telegraphs and electric lights.  With progress has come social and political upheaval: the scattered feudal kingdoms of yore have been consolidated into a now-precarious Empire, the clerics of various gods have organized themselves into a mighty Universal Church, and the first stirrings of modern education and an Enlightenment ethos have taken root in a young University.  On the other hand, dragons are nearly extinct, elves have been herded onto reservations, and the days when a person could make a living as a wandering adventurer are long since over. It’s a new world, and the people of the Empire must learn to live in it, or fall to ancient threats they have tried to forget…

Katabasis by Apex Altra (adventure, fantasy, furry)

In an alternate Earth where humans have the heads of animals, and where the animals aren’t always what they seem, the Firebird rules myth and legend. Said to have divine power, it appears every millennium to grant the wishes of a select few. A young woman discovers that she's among them, but there are two problems: She doesn’t remember ever seeing the Firebird, and she definitely doesn’t remember wishing for immortality! Ignoring her thrill-seeking nature, she's decided that her only way forward is to get a degree. But after being attacked, she finds herself in a magical bond with a violent monster- one who's taken a keen interest in her ability. Now her only chance of getting her normal life back is to work with him and a group of newfound allies. She must dive into the space between life and death to uncover the Firebird's secrets, along with a few things about herself, too. But her attacker is still on the loose, and the task is more dangerous than anyone realizes…

Katalepsis by Hazel Young (horror, cosmic horror, urban fantasy, queer)

Nightmares and hallucinations have plagued Heather Morell all her life, relics of schizophrenia and childhood bereavement. Until she meets Raine and Evelyn, that is — self-proclaimed bodyguard and bad-tempered magician — and learns she’s not insane at all. The spirits and monsters she sees are all too real, the god-thing in her nightmares is teaching her how to surpass human limits, and her twin sister who supposedly never existed could still be alive, somewhere Outside, beyond the walls of reality. Heather plunges into a world of eldritch magic and fanatic cultists, trying to stay alive, stay sane, and deal with her own blossoming attraction to dangerous women. But being ‘In The Know’ isn’t all terror and danger. Sometimes the monsters wear nice dresses and stick around for afternoon tea. Sometimes you find you have more in common with them than you think. Perhaps this is Heather’s chance to be something more than the defeated husk she’d grown up as, to find real friendship and meaning among things like herself – and perhaps, out there on the rim of the possible, to bring her twin sister back from the dead.

The Legion of Nothing by Jim Zoetewey (superhero)

Nick Klein never intended to be a superhero. But, with the death of his grandfather, an active superhero during World War 2 through the early 1980’s, everything changed. Nick inherited his grandfather’s powered armor, his grandfather’s team’s command center, and found that his friends (the grandchildren of other team members) were very much interested in bringing back the Grand Lake Heroes League. Nick had to make a choice. Go along with everyone else or avoid it? If he did go along with it, and restart the League, would any of the old League’s unfinished business come back to haunt them?

Link Rot by Qrowscant (horror, sci-fi, multimedia)

Link Rot follows those within a research station. Once dedicated to the study and containment of a newly discovered life form, complications arise following its unexpected merge with the station's AI.

Necroepilogos by Hazel Young (horror, sci fi, queer)

Nothing walks the black cinder of Earth except the undead leftovers, reanimated by science so advanced it may as well be magic. Twisted into unimaginable forms by flesh-shaping and machine-grafting, the undead are the only remnant of a civilization reduced to bitter ash and organic slurry. Zombies shuffle through the ruins of nuclear fire and biological warfare and far worse, alongside rusted war-machines still holding the posts of a thousand ancient conflicts, dwarfed by god-engines turned so alien that even the extinct necromancers would have run screaming. Elpida doesn’t know this world, but she’s up on her feet, leading a half-dozen other fresh revenants, ripped from the oblivion of eternity and disgorged shivering and naked on cold metal slabs in a womb-lab of blinking lights and blaring alarms, by machines running some ancient plan to spit them out into a world long dead. Necroepilogos is a web serial about body horror and alienation, weird zombie-girls gluing themselves back together, mad science beyond mortal ken, and trying to cradle the flower of companionship in twitching, undead fingers.

Nowhere Stars by Anenome (horror, urban fantasy)

Liadain, a girl born terminally ill, has only ever wanted to live — forever, if at all possible. Instead, shortly after her thirteenth birthday, she’s consigned to spend her last months in hospice care.  Until the night she encounters a monster more terrifying than death, and her savior offers her a chance to achieve her impossible dream. A chance to become a Keeper, one of the chosen children whose magic serves as humanity’s sole defense against Harbingers, living nightmares that devour dreams and passions and souls. Few Keepers accept the mantle simply to be heroes, though. Those who consume enough Harbingers grow into something more than human, obtaining the power to change themselves in nearly any way they wish.  So Liadain throws herself into a new life, hoping against hope to save herself. But magic is foremost an expression of the soul. Shaped by her cold bitterness, her new power grants her dominion over sickness, death, and ill-fate, forcing her to wield the things she hates most as weapons. And as she delves ever deeper into the minds of Harbingers, tearing fragments of her salvation from their hearts, Liadain can’t help but wonder if their hunger is really so different from her own.

Pale Lights by erraticerrata (horror, fantasy, adventure)

Vesper is a world built on the ruins of older ones: in the dark of that colossal cavern no one has ever known the edges of, empires rise and fall like flickering candles. Civilization huddles around pits of the light that falls through the cracks in firmament, known by men as the Glare. It is the unblinking stare of the never-setting sun that destroyed the Old World, the cruel mortar that allows survival far below. Few venture beyond its cast, for in the monstrous and primordial darkness of the Gloam old gods and devils prowl as men made into darklings worship hateful powers. So it has been for millennia, from the fabled reign of the Antediluvians to these modern nights of blackpowder and sail. And now the times are changing again. The fragile peace that emerged after the last of the Succession Wars is falling apart, the great powers squabbling over trade and colonies. Conspiracies bloom behind every throne, gods of the Old Night offer wicked pacts to those who would tear down the order things and of all Vesper only the Watch has seen the signs of the madness to come. God-killers whose duty is to enforce the peace between men and monsters, the Watch would hunt the shadows. Yet its captain-generals know the strength of their companies has waned, and to meet the coming doom measures will have to be taken. It will begin with Scholomance, the ancient school of the order opened again for the first time in over a century, and the students who will walk its halls.

The Primal Hunter by Zogarth (sci fi, action)

On just another normal Monday, the world changed. The universe had reached a threshold humanity didn’t even know existed, and it was time to finally be integrated into the vast multiverse. A world where power is the only thing that one can truly rely on. Jake, a seemingly average office worker, finds himself thrust into this new world. Into a tutorial filled with dangers and opportunities. In a world that should breed fear and concern, an environment that makes his fellow coworkers falter, Jake instead finds himself thriving. Perhaps… Jake was born for this kind of world, to begin with.

Princess Murders the Hero by makapatag (fantasy, action)

In the Isles of Violence, the Spider Lily of Azure Flame is sent to the neighboring Sultanate as bride gift to create an allegiance, to consolidate power, and The Ashen Star God, with 180 Sidereal Swords, sends the Hero of Prophecy to Herald of the Millennium Kingdom: Sunder the world with your sins. A storm upends the supposedly uneventful bride-gifting: the Spider Lily is visited by her demon-witch mother, and for the first time after being released from her perpetual seclusion, experiences the truth of the world: Violence until glory. Witness now: the Spider Lily of the Azure Flame, the Shining Lightning of the Dragon Guard, her demon-sorceress servant, the Greatest Warrior in the Isles, and the Half-Female Lord, as they trawl and trudge and strive and survive in the Isles of Violence, knowing the one truth fulminating from their souls: The hero must die.

Roguehunter by Vern Carson (sci fi, cyberpunk)

Retired Roguehunter Alex Park may not know what a café is, nor does he understand basic addition, but what he does know how to do is kill. And these particular skills land him in hot water when he makes the mistake of rejecting a mysterious woman's offer of a job. After she ends up dumped in his dumpster, he takes up arms once more to find the perpetrators. Not to avenge the woman, but to punish them for using his dumpster. It's his, after all. It's for his bodies, and his bodies only. In doing so, he dips his toes deeper into the underworld of Site 17 than he ever has before.

The Shattering by The Scribe (fantasy, queer)

The Shattering is a fantasy web novel about three queer middle-aged warriors banding together to fight an ancient evil that's threatening to literally tear the continent apart. They also semi-adopt a Chosen One kid in the process. Torvola, an old knight who thought her fighting days were long behind her, takes up the mantle of champion once more to fulfill her duty to the queen. Cazan, an archer and a blood mage, fights to protect the kid they took on as a student and prove that there is such a thing as ethical blood magic. Caleste, a countess on an endless quest for fame and glory, throws herself headlong into the battle to save the continent (and finally get the hero title she rightfully deserves).

Stardust by valentine dagger (sci-fi, horror, queer)

In a speculative near-future United States of America, a reptillian alien species colloquially known as Dusties have inserted themselves into the US government via a military takeover. Dusties are named for the pollutant dust they dissolve into on death, sometimes referred to as stardust; stardust pollutes the atmosphere, forcing humans to wear dust masks and respirators when they go outside, and blocks wireless signals, preventing wireless transmission of information by anyone other than the Dusties themselves. Several years after the initial coup and bombings, July Wright, a fiery sniper with closeted psychosis, and Cass Trehan, a brutally intelligent strategist, are young officers in a paramilitary cult formed in opposition to the Dusty-run government, hiding in the subway tunnels of New York City. When the militia takes a key player in the coup into custody, July and Cass find themselves embroiled in a plot to assassinate President Taner, which quickly spirals out of control. While grappling with their isolated, militaristic upbringing, July and Cass must also make sense of intergalactic politics, surreal and hallucinatory experiences, the existence of other planes of reality--and figure out what the Dusties want from them, and what it has to do with July's dead twin sister.

Stone Burners by Syphax (superhero)

Olivia has awoken to a strange world. With mere scraps of memories and a warped, unfamiliar body, she must find help to survive. However, a vast criminal syndicate, an urban legend, and more all threaten to snuff her out before she can find her footing.

[oreolesbian]

hey: if someone is coming out to you, don’t talk over them, please just fucking listen. especially if you’re cishet.

they’re not just saying things, they know themselves more than you do, even if you think you know them so well and know what’s best for them and whatnot, you don’t. i’m sorry. nobody knows anybody as well as they know themselves. ever.

this person is queer. they’re telling you that because they’re trusting you. not because they want your opinion, but because they don’t want to hide anymore. cause hiding who you are fucking sucks. it does. you tip toe around everything that brings you joy and you feel like a fraud in your own skin. you literally aren’t you around people that are supposed to love you.

you may think you know gay people and are the best ally in the world. great. love that for you. don’t talk about that. by god, don’t make someone else’s coming out about you. cause it’s fucking not.

don’t try to guess why this person is queer. don’t try to “put it together.” don’t tell them, especially if they’re a kid, that they don’t really know themselves yet…that they don’t have the “experience.” cause god knows i’ve never heard anyone cishet be questioned as to why they are who they are.

you don’t have to have been in a relationship before to know you’re queer. only you can answer those questions. if you know, you know. simple as that. of course it may take a bit to get to that point for some, and that’s okay. it’s normal. you came into the world assumed cishet. so naturally you’ll assume the same about yourself until the day comes where you realize it’s all a load of a shit and you’re who you say you are—no one else saying it for you. if someone tells you you just don’t know yourself yet, fuck them. maybe you are questioning…who the fuck cares. it’s not their business. this goes for literally all ages. my own mom told me i couldn’t know i was gay yet when i was 16. then again at 18. and continuously on. they’ll keep saying it to you because what they’re really saying is that they don’t want you to be queer. because they think queerness is an anomaly, a phase, acting out, experimentation, etc. it’s not.

a queer person coming out to you is the ultimate form of trust. it’s fucking terrifying. every time. yes, every time, no matter how many times you do it. because you will do it. a lot. for the rest of your life, most likely. because people will always assume cishet first. you come out to literally everyone you know…and the walking on eggshells process of evaluating their persona and whether or not they might literally harm you is absolutely mentally exhausting.

every day i meet a new person, i have to check my queerness. am i being too obvious? if i am, does it matter? should i drop hints and gauge reactions? or dial it back just to be safe? will this girl i’m talking to assume i’m flirting and be disgusted with me or be chill with it? what if i’m actually flirting? how do i do that without being 100% sure it’s a thing i even can do with her? can i write this paper in class on a piece of queer media or will i be unintentionally outing myself? can i openly defend LGBTQ issues or will that also out me? will this person treat me differently if i tell them? oh god, now my stomach hurts cause two women are kissing on tv and the person next to me is rolling their eyes. should i act nonchalant? maybe i should only watch queer content alone from now on. oh shit my gay music is playing…turn it off turn it off! should i clear my search history? do i look too masculine today? do i look too feminine today? oh god, everyone around me KNOWS.

^^ this is a pretty regular thought process for me. yeah, i’ve got anxiety, but this is, to my knowledge of every queer person i’ve ever interacted with, pretty goddamn normal. doesn’t make it right, but it’s reality. so yeah, if you’re telling a queer person that’s never been in a relationship that “well then how do you know for sure?” i think this makes it pretty crystal fucking clear. do you know how hard it is for queer kids to not only come to terms with who they are, but confront the fears of being publicly out or even trying to gauge who is actually queer like them—who actually is in their dating pool? who they can trust with their true selves??

i would love it if i could walk up to a random girl on the street i think is cute and ask her on a date. but i can’t. because i have to think through all those things above, all the time, to protect myself and my sanity. cause i don’t want to be treated different or looked at weird. every time i come out, even subtly, my throat closes. cause i’m petrified. i’m beyond proud of who i am, it’s the truest part of me and a real confidence boost, but i’m beyond terrified of the hatred, the whispers, the stares. yeah, we’ve made progress, but the story’s still the same in our little heteronormative society.

don’t talk over queer people. do your best to understand our struggles, but acknowledge that you never will really understand. cause you can’t. even if you had a gay friend, my god. you don’t understand. i promise you don’t. if you want to be an ally, a real ally, can you just listen? please? things you may think are so simple for you aren’t always for queer people. i mean god, y’all don’t have to think twice about holding hands with a partner for crying out loud.

the queer experience is individual, different for everyone, so why do you possibly think you could understand it for someone else?

this is not a: gee it really sucks to be queer rant. cause it doesn’t. it’s great. our community has its ups and downs but i have formed the strongest bonds through the trust i’ve formed in other queer people in my life. but there are days where i just can’t fucking take it anymore. i’ll hear my family watch a stand up comedian downstairs whose punchline is my very existence. and they laugh. and i stay silent upstairs, nauseous. cause yeah, maybe they accept me, and that’s a blessing in itself, but i’m still an other to them. a joke. something to be looked at and criticized and critiqued and questioned. all because i love differently. and i don’t think it’s overly sensitive to be angry about that reality. cause i am angry. and sad. and trying my damndest every day to look towards the positive. cause mental health and self-care is important when you’re doing all these mental gymnastics on the daily.

so. someone comes out to you. thank them for their trust. support them. offer congratulations or happy feelings. maybe even a hug if they want one. acknowledge that you’ll never truly understand the queer experience, but that you want to at least understand enough to help and listen where you’re able to.

don’t ask how they knew. when they knew. question how. say they “don’t look queer.” say “i always knew.” etc. etc.

it may seem like simple harmless phrases, but they make a queer person feel like they’re being talked over. a point of discussion when all they wanted to do was to stop hiding themselves. it hurts even more when it comes from someone you care about. so please please please, try to be better. i don’t think it’s asking much.

[shadowfae]

1- Not much tbh, just what you've posted, and 2- To be honest I quite like your long answers. It can definitely wait though, you should get some sleep.

Is your warpriest link a constant thing? Does it ever fade into the background? I'm contemplating forming a second link, something happier than my copinglink, and I'm not sure how to tell when to tell when the line of a link vs a persona is crossed when not worn out of necessity.

And the original ask so I have it on hand. I did take a look at your original context, and if you're cool with it, I'll edit this post with a link for those who may find this is a useful answer and need that on hand. Otherwise, it'll stay a mystery.

But yes, it seems like my Sabe experiences would be a useful thing to talk about here. And in order to do that, I need to go over four things: who and what Sabe is, why he exists the way that he does, what that does for me, and lastly what I think he is in terms of terminology and why.

To start, here is his toyhou.se profile, if you want to read more about his actual story and thoughts and whatnot. But I doubt you'll have the necessary context for that, so let me go into it. RuneScape (RS) is one of the oldest MMORPGs in existence. WoW might be older but I doubt it. Basically it's a medieval magic fantasy that's very long running and you the player end up the World Guardian, aka the guy that stops the gods (who are very powerful folks who just don't die of natural causes and typically stand for some philosophy) from blowing the world up because Guthix, the dead god of balance, asked you to. Well, he voluntold you. And that makes you a major chess piece, Elder Gods get involved, it's a big mess.

But before all that happened, back in 2006 when I was introduced to the game and very shitty at it, well. I liked the lore insofar that I've always liked the lore, it was interesting and I liked thinking about it. I didn't have membership and I sucked at playing so I just read the wiki and the God Letters over and over and sometimes the Postbag from the Hedge. Alongside my two friends, we played at being children of the then-triad of main gods: Saradomin, Guthix, and Zamorak.

I liked Zamorak best, but I didn't think his ideas would be the best for society as a whole, so I ended up playing child of Guthix. Eventually we grew up and grew apart but every couple of years I'd go back to RuneScape, read the lore, settle on what choices I'd make if I could play, and think about being the player character. In 2010 I discovered a fic - dawn by khayr, it's on Ao3 and dA - about Iban, son of Zamorak, right around when I was reading Percy Jackson. Cue him showing up as a soulbond and an older brother figure and guiding me right up until the end of sixth grade. Iban got me through the ruthless bullying that would later set the stage for all my major suicidal-ideation and self-hatred for the entirety of high school: even then, I was more stable than I might've been otherwise, because he interfered.

Saradomin stands for strength through order. Procedures and law and diplomacy and war strategy. He was originally kind of a ripoff of the Christian god, but he's grown to be more of an order-over-peace character and is quite well-written. Guthix stands for strength through balance, and has been all over the board in terms of what he's done and will do. He's kind of a dick, actually, but his heart's in the right place.

Zamorak, as you've heard, is strength through chaos and personal strife. It's no "the strong over the weak" or "the strong take care of the weak", it's flat-out "everyone is strong, and just need the right circumstances to tap into it to be the best they can possibly be". Now, his philosophy is kind of more for warriors and scholars, but if you tilt your head, it applies to everyone. Chronically ill folks will find their chaos in fighting to get up every day and maintain a life. Folks in traumatizing, abusive situations find that chaos in their very survival. Scholars challenge themselves and their fellows and their predecessors trying to find the answers they so need. Nobody in lockstep, no such thing as "we've always done it this way."

A lot of human Zamorakians and Saradominist propaganda says that Zamorak is simply absolute evil: and to be fair, when most of that was written, he kinda was because he was based loosely on the Christian devil. Later writing says that they're typically mistaken on that. Zamorak isn't evil. The very first thing he did upon becoming a god was fulfill a promise and lead a slave rebeliion. (The Avernic uprising, if anyone's curious.) He stands for the downtrodden and says "You are never going to get your dignity by going through the motions and trying to peacefully show you're worth respect. Burn some shit down and prove that you won't stand for this bullshit."

Zamorak in a Saradominist's eyes is someone whose banner you wear when you want to be a crazy murderer. Zamorak in a Zamorakian's eyes is the singing voice who murmurs "Get up, this isn't enough to kill you, you can still do this," when transphobic laws get passed or you hear a slur thrown your way on the street.

And as someone who grew up queer and nonhuman, yeah, that resonates, and the older I get the more I think "Guthixian philosophy is best for a society at large, but Zamorakianism for individuals is good." Because Zamorakianism can't really apply on a theocratic level. It really doesn't. It turns into American bootstrap culture and no social services and all that shitty stuff.

The funny thing is that Zamorak himself has no issues helping out if he thinks you need it. (If he didn't, he wouldn't be cool with asking for help, or giving it when he's asked. Which he does do repeatedly so. The man has more kindness in him than people want to admit.) What I do find fascinating is what he thinks of the actions of some of his longtime subordinates, who clearly support him, but I don't think support his actual philosophy. Because if you ask me, he'd side with the downtrodden humans of Meiyerditch, not the vampire lords that treat them like cattle. He's proven that he likes humans, and doesn't see them as unworthy. I do wonder if Jagex will show us what he might do about that.

Either way. Ahem. Over the course of a decade and a half, I keep going back to RuneScape, refining my philosophy and side, thinking again what I would do playing the game proper. About... I want to say five years ago, Jagex opened up the Sixth Age and I finally noticed, and they rewrote every god's philosophy because they wanted every single one to be actually playable. Not just "hurr durr evil" but actually have a logical line of thought. They probably didn't have pop culture paganism in mind, but the gods of RS are incredibly well-suited to it.

Well, I found that out, and immediately went through every god's philosophy, and reasoned my way through it. What does a worshipper of this god look like? What sort of life would they lead? If i apply this to me, what does that look like from that perspective? Do I understand this? Is it comfortable to exist in?

And as it turns out, I understand Zamorak the most, followed a close second by Armadyl, which was quite surprising. Zaros remains incomprehensible and I don't trust like that. (That's another story.) So I thought about it more, and it stuck even when I wandered off to different fandoms and interests. But what happened was that I ended up internalizing it, unknowingly and without meaning to.

It meant that when, two years later, I ended up in a horrific and traumatizing situation, the anchor I hit that held me together was a mixture of being a Devil - I am a fucking God you will obey me and recognize my power - and Zamorak's core philosophy: this cannot kill me, this cannot stop me, this is pure fucking hell and I am going to laugh in the face of death because people are forged in hellfire and I will walk away knowing what I'm made of.

And I was right. Honestly, out of everyone who was there with me, I think I'm the only one that was that deeply entrenched and walked out without trauma. I do not believe I could have done that had I not internalized Zamorak's philosophy. (That isn't to say if the others had that philosophy they wouldn't be traumatized, because there were absolutely other factors I wouldn't know about and some that I do and didn't do them any favours; but I am saying that it saved my ass and without it, I might not have been okay.)

I walked out of that with zero regrets. Zero. Even now, I don't regret a thing. Because it doesn't matter what happened or how much I was lied to or if he deserved my kindness. I know what I perceived to be happening, and I know how I reacted, and when the pieces were down I was stronger than steel, gave kindness without considering the cost, and I walked away unscathed.

How many people can say they've looked death in the eye and laughed? More than there should be, not too many that knowing what I'm capable of when put into pure chaos isn't somehow impressive. Because it is. And Zamorak's words proved themselves, or rather, I proved him entirely correct.

And when I last went back to RuneScape, and thought about it with enough time to put it all into hindsight, well. Aw, shit, he was right. Then vaguely around that time I went back and read Dawn, which was unfinished, tracked down the author and demanded to know how it fucking ended. (She told me and we're still friends like three years later. xD) Then I went back and found my old OCs, and decided fuck it, I'm making my own World Guardian.

So first thing I did was log in and jump over to the Makeover Mage and make myself into a boy. Kept the plateskirt though, I wanted to have the RS equivalent of a limp wrist to prove I'm Very Queer. Then I went about remaking my character. I wanted to make a self-insert, I was old enough to know it wasn't cringey, it was just fun, but I didn't want to use my default avatar with the black hair over one eye and the Chaorruption. I wanted to make a new self-insert based in nothing I was already using.

So I made the most beautiful man I could! Long, dark brown hair, pretty semi-dark skin, looked Kharidian, and then I said fuck it and made him Zamorak's youngest son. Originally, he was adopted when he was young by Iban and Clivet, and suffered serious imposter syndrome when being WG meant he'd never get demigod powers. But as I grew more confident in myself, he ended up getting powers? And then eventually I rewrote his backstory, and then wrote about his mother, and her relationship with Zamorak, and then he had friends like Blaire and Icthlarin (who was also my furry awakening, rip me).

Then with the most recently questline I've been getting a bit more into RS magical theory, and I've been mulling it over lots, and Seanan McGuire's Middlegame definitely helped; and I figured out how I wanted him to handle being World Guardian: it didn't make sense for him to be openly Zamorak's son, the other gods would just target his family to manipulate him. So I had him play neutral openly and Zamorakian to his friends, effectively living a double life.

Then he just looked up one day and said "Oh, by the way, my father won't acknowledge me to keep me safe but I don't know that so we have a very unsteady relationship because I don't know if he loves me", and then Children of Mah came out, and he was all "Oh and I think I just got disowned (I didn't, Zamorak was protecting me, but I don't know that) so my relationship with Zamorak is Fucking Shitty" and he was stuck that way until I figured out how to save their relationship.

It culminated in Sabe not knowing how his Mahjarrat powers worked and guessing, and hating himself for being half-and-half, and missing everything about being a Mahjarrat, and literally you couldn't have gotten more obvious in order to tell me I was having Fucking Issues coming to terms with the fact I didn't have any understanding or knowledge of my own heritage, but whatever, eventually I noticed that.

And as I've been working to understand myself and my heritage, so too has Sabe been doing that with his Mahjarrat heritage. But for the longest time, no matter how I put him and Zamorak in the same room in a scene to try and get them to talk it out, it wasn't working. Something wasn't right. Sabe resented being World Guardian, hated having to betray his family, didn't know if he was wanted, and hated himself for having to kill Mah, the mother of his species.

Not that long ago, a few months actually, he informed me (which is my shorthand for 'I suddenly figured out this happened, and it genuinely feels like remembering that one fucking word you have on the tip of your tongue, I always knew and just forgot for a while') that no, he'd been ripped in two by a hope devourer, brought to his father's stronghold, and Zamorak split his magic between mortal and divine in order to get around his godproofing and heal him. Zamorak's intense worry for his youngest son was what caused Sabe to break down and tell him honestly what was going on and how he was feeling, which caused Zamorak to do the same, and they finally, finally made up.

A week later, I noticed the connection between Sabe's Mahjarrat issues and my Irish issues, and started to wonder if he was a linktype.

I mean... he's a self-insert. He makes the choices I would, the me in the here and now, that I think are best. He's not a person I was and still know myself to be, he's not someone I grow into, he's not living his life beside me like a shadow. He's me, choosing the things I do, because I say so. But he's also me in the things he reflects, the things he struggles with, and things I had zero fucking conscious input on.

Sabe is the person I am when a crisis hits and I have to deal with the chaos. Sabe is the person I am when I need to lead. Sabe is the person I am when I am desperate to be known and loved by those I consider family. Sabe is the person I am when I want to be sure in where I came from, where I will return to, and the things that I will always be. Sabe is a man of darkness who knows the light as an acquaintance and nothing more, who is cruel and careless and kind.

Sabe is a warpriest of Zamorakian philosophy, because it took me twenty fucking years to put into words how I see the world, and now that I know, I will argue them to death and use them to help others. Drakath may have wanted a messiah to share the hivemind with others. Sabe is a warpriest, spreading the word and calling home the broken and the damned. He is the Last Rider, not the last of the Ilujanka but the one who keeps riding towards the chaos and never falls, no matter what.

Some of who Sabe is I have conscious input on. A whole lot of him was unintentional and perfectly reflects me.

So when it comes to terminology... I don't know what he is. A self-insert, yes. A linktype, maybe. A kintype, also maybe. Sabe doesn't feel like my past linktypes, because Sabe isn't always catharsis and comfort. Until he made up with his dad, Sabe was brutal and hurt a lot and constantly yearning for his foundation and slowly going mad. It wasn't fun. I just refused to do anything but see the story through. I was going to get it right. I wanted to see it to the end. I wanted to be the Last Rider, even though I didn't phrase it that way.

But to answer your actual question, of what he feels like when I'm not actively being him out of necessity, desire, and active thought. If it fades into the background.

And like... it can? Sabe as he is, recognized for what and who he is, is kind of a new thing. Sabe as a concept is very old, but Sabe as what he is right now is new, and confusing, and honestly I'm still trying to figure out what to make of it.

Like, seriously. Sabe is Zamorak's son. Am I Zamorak's son? Is he keeping an eye on me as I am? Would he be proud of me? Would he offer his approval of my progress? Does that make me, in some way, the World Guardian?

I have not a clue, buddy. Not a goddamn clue.

So what it means is that I've been paying attention, really. I don't just become strong in times of crisis. I've been trying to do better. Be better. Learn, and listen, and rethink myself. Break out of lockstep, of doing things the way I've always done them. Try to always do better than I did, build habits I like, stop waiting for things to change and just do it. Become the chaos, instead of waiting for it to hit me.

It means I need to live up to what Guthix told Sabe to do. It means being gentler, being kinder, not burning bridges when I'm not sure. It means keeping an eye out for any sign Zamorak's listening, in case I am his son, in case I really have to decide what I'm gonna do about being the son of chaos incarnate.

But other than the questioning, what it feels like is just... what I was already dealing with, just a little more at arm's length and easier to deal with. Once I recognize that his issues are reflective of mine, if I solve his, I have a pretty good idea of how to solve mine. Some of it won't work exactly right - Zamorak will always forgive him for not being the son he expected he might have had, my own parents may not, yay I'm queer and pagan - but it's a good rule of thumb.

It's also just comforting to know that when in doubt, nothing can kill me, because I simply refuse to die. I am World Guardian, I am a demigod of chaos incarnate, all the hellfire in the world can do nothing but strengthen me. And if I present those to myself as unshakeable beliefs, because for Sabe they are, then I'll be okay. It probably couldn't stop most disasters or tragedies, but I got hit by a car, broke five bones, and walked away with a record recovery time, so I mean... I can't prove that I can't die by some accident or tragedy, but you also can't prove that I can. (Trying to do so usually falls under what we call 'murder', and I personally believe I can't be murdered. Only assassinated.)

But really, I think the worst that could possibly happen with a new linktype is that you learn what not to do. It's new, it's scary, it's chaotic, and from where I'm standing, that's the best way to learn.

[forkanna]

[AO3] [WATTPAD]

NOTE: Most Japanese schools run Monday through Saturday. Also, thanks for keeping up with this story, despite my choppy update schedule!

Saturday slipped by awkwardly. That really was the best description for it, terrible as that reality was; the whole situation felt awkward.

The night before, they had parted ways at the train station. A tacit agreement had been reached that too much had happened in a single day, and they both needed time to process. They texted a few things about being glad they hung out that day, or what they were eating for dinner, but mostly they kept to themselves.

Rise had been hoping the next day would find them magically falling back together and not having to worry about how intense things had been in Shinjuku. Alas, they avoided each other. Neither seemed to want to be the one to reach out and initiate contact. Maybe they had told themselves that they were over it but clearly it was another matter to put so much raw emotion on display, then face the consequences. Plus, Ai had been very wasted and probably felt embarrassed she let it lead to so many things she definitely had not been planning for their outing. Rise could completely understand that.

But when school let out, she tried to screw her courage to the sticking-place and go find her maybe-girlfriend. Boyfriend? The whole thing still confused her, but she knew enough now to accept that said confusion did not at all mean she was disinterested. Far from it. She just had to figure out how deep her interest lay.

Ai was gone already. Probably to Shinjuku, or Okina, or Okinawa for all she knew. No new texts, either; she finally summoned her courage and sent a simple 'What are you doing?' but got no reply.

"Figures," she muttered as she stared at the screen, walking slowly toward Marukyu. "Why does she have to disappear on meeeee?"

"Who?"

"AAAH!" she gasped out, jumping into Chie's arms. The startled girl staggered and yelped as she tried to support Rise's weight, and of course, in the end they went down like a ton of bricks.

"HEY!" Hissing in pain, she shoved at Rise and said, "Get off! What are you DOING?!"

Rise hissed as well as she picked herself up. "Oww, my knee! I'm- oh God, where's my phone? What happened to my phone?!"

The two of them scrambled around on the side of the road, trying to figure out where the piece of vital technology had disappeared to. Once or twice, they even rolled down the riverside hill thanks to how slippery the light rain had made it earlier. Eventually, Chie turned up with it, and they sat panting with relief on the slope for a little while, trying to recover from the unexpected flurry of activity.

"You were… totally off in your own world, dude!" Chie panted, staring up at the clouds. "What the hell? You didn't even… hear me calling to you!"

"Ahh… hahh… I… sorry…" Chie was definitely in better shape than her. But she did finally manage to swallow and roll over to face the other girl, trying to prop her head up on her arm. "I've been… hoping Ai would text me back, and… my brain is…" She made a vague motion off into the distance.

"Yeah! Yeah, I get that one. For sure, believe me."

"Really? Because… you and Yukiko?"

"That's…" She did grimace, but finally just said, "Whatever."

"HAH! I knew it!"

"What's your problem, if you don't mind me asking? With Ai. Did you have a fight or something?"

"N-no, not really… a fight." Another deep breath to brace herself, and because she was still a little dizzy. "She told me something yesterday that… I mean, it has me really confused, and I just kinda wish somebody would tell me what to do and how to feel."

Chie snorted. "Thought Ai was really good at that. But okay, what happened?"

Rise told her, as briefly as she could. Which didn't end up being very brief. By the time she had explained the whole situation, they were stuffed into the back corner of Aiya, a couple of bowls of noodles and some sodas in front of them. The hot food would help them dry off after rolling around on a damp hill. Chie had plowed through a lot more of hers considering she was mostly listening and could let her mouth focus on that sweet sweet beef she coveted so much.

"Lembge geddiz straig."

"How about I let you swallow first?" Rise said with a wince. "I'm sorry, I just really can't understand you."

Chie nodded, chewed hard a few times, and gulped. "Ah! DAMN, do I love meat! Okay… what were we talking about?" When Rise let out an exasperated noise, she chuckled and said, "Just kidding. But yeah… I guess Ai's a guy. Weird."

"Right? Because I mean, look at her. How can she be a boy?!"

"Yeah! Like, I get what you were saying, about like… crossdressers on TV and junk. Some of them look like hell and some of them are really cute, but you can still tell. But Ai is like… he's a chick! Really, really a chick, like us! I'd never think…"

"Yeah," she agreed with a dejected sigh. "And at first I thought she was lying, Chie-chan, or trying to play a really mean joke on me, but now I don't think so. She was dead serious. And the way she talked about how hard it was for her to be herself when she was being told by everyone else she had to 'be manly'? I get that. Not that exactly but I know what it's like for everybody to be looking at you one way and wishing they could just… listen."

The tomboyish senior frowned down at her bowl as she stirred its contents with her chopsticks. "Pretty rotten. I mean, you weren't there for me having to confront my Shadow, but I used to have a lot more issues with that, too. I was jealous of Yukiko. That's stupid, she's my best friend! But she's so beautiful; I mean, you know, you've seen her. And I'm this fugly pile of dog doo."

"Aww, you are not," Rise said with a frown. "Don't say that."

"Nah, it's okay now. I mean, I know I'm not hideous but I'm not jealous because Yukiko is prettier anymore. That's just, like… I'm lucky to know her, and happy she gets attention. She deserves it." When she looked over and saw Rise's frown had completely turned upside down, she ducked her head. "Sh-shut up, I'm just happy for my friend!"

"Uh huh. But yeah… we've all been through a lot, and seen some really crazy stuff. I don't know why I freaked out so much about Ebihara now; so what if she is a boy? She's still a hotter girl than any of the rest of us will ever be, regardless."

Chie pointed her chopsticks at the idol. "Hey, watch it! You're lumping Yukiko in with the rest of us, and I know you're not trying to say she isn't the prettiest girl in Inaba!"

"Hey, hey, easy, Bruce Lee! Oh — right, did you get it?"

"Get what?"

"N-nothing." That was close; Yukiko would have had every right to be angry with her if she spilled the secret before its time.

"Riiight. Anyway, I… man, I'm really sorry for getting so cheesed off."

"You should be. I mean, you know I wasn't trying to diss anyone, I was just commenting on how pretty my girlfriend is. Boyfriend. Whatever."

"Yeah, that's gonna be a mind-fuck for a little while," Chie snickered as she took another huge bite. Where she put it all, Rise would never know. "So you didn't see it?"

"See what?" When Chie just stuck her pinky out and waggled it back and forth, eyebrows moving in much the same manner suggestively, Rise felt her face flush. "N-no, I did not."

"Awwwww, I was gonna ask about the size."

"CHIE!"

"Well, what else am I supposed to ask?!" she burst out in exasperation. "Like, clearly the rest of him looks like a chick, so that seems like the biggest difference! I just wanted to know how big that difference was!"

Pinching the bridge of her nose, she finally simply sighed, "I'll let you know. If I ever find out, I mean… since she's not talking to me today."

"Aww… yeah." Growing more serious, she stuck her chopsticks in the bowl and put an arm around Rise. "Listen… all dumb jokes aside, that sucks. But he's probably just trying to sort things out, like you are. I mean, you said he can't even figure out if he's a girl or a boy, so like, on top of having the hots for his new best friend? That's a lot."

Something about the way Chie kept saying "he" and "his" was bothering Rise. She knew it was technically accurate — again, assuming this was all true, which she had decided to believe for the time being — but it didn't sit right. Didn't Ai say she had known all along she was a woman, even when the world saw her as male? But she didn't want to get too bogged down by worrying about that niggling little detail just now.

"Okay, so I'm an idol, she's a fashionista. If she is a boy, maybe it's not as weird that we hook up — like, she could be my fashion designer when I make my comeback. Right? Or… if she's not a boy, then she can be, anyway, and… we could… date secretly."

"Secretly? I thought you said you would be Japan's first gay idol."

"I'd love to be, but I also don't know if that'll work. My management might not like that I'm throwing them a curveball. And… I guess…" Rise felt her eyes watering. That was stupid. "I don't want to stop being Risette."

Chie snorted. "Pretty sure you're going to be Risette forever, even if you don't like it. Which I thought you didn't, but like, you did say you're accepting it again."

"No, I meant that… if I really am interested in women, and I come out, I won't be 'Risette the idol'. I'll be 'Risette the gay icon', or 'that lesbian singer'. Dumb stuff like that. I've been thinking about it a lot, and that could be really cool, but it also means I have to give up having fans who just like me because I'm cute and I can sing. It'll get super political."

"Oh… yeesh, I hadn't thought about any of that junk at all. That sounds like a big pain."

Whimpering, she flopped down on her arms. "But it's important. Like, I've never thought it was right that queers in Japan don't have any representation really. Y'know?"

"But they do! Well… not a lot, I mean… Ikko, like you said, and that one drag queen, Matsuko Deluxe… and I thought I heard Utada might be? Or her teddy bear was…" When Rise just cracked an eye in her direction, she wilted. "Yeah, okay, so not that many. Seems like everybody's gay in the West, and over here it's like, five people."

"That we know about."

"Yeah. I never really thought that hard about it… but I guess… I should have."

A slight smirk tugged at the corner of Rise's mouth. "Why should you have? Hmmmm?"

"Well… you know."

"See? You can't even tell me! I'm right here telling you I made out with either a girl, or a guy who wears girl clothes better than me, and you still don't feel like you can tell me the truth! That's exactly it — we just don't wanna talk about it!"

Chie was poking the tips of her index fingers into each other as she stared down at her bowl, face glowing like a stoplight. Rise knew she was being a little mean, but she also had a decent reason to press this subject.

"Alright, forget it. I'm sorry."

"No, you're right, Rise-chan. I'm…" She took a deep breath, looked around the diner to make sure nobody was sneaking up on them. Still not that brave, it seemed. "I'm with Yukiko. We're together. And I don't just mean cool for the summer because we're trying stuff out; I mean forever. She's all mine, and she loves b-being mine, a-and… and I've never…"

Oh. Chie Satonaka, badass kung fu afficionado who helped save Inaba without anyone ever finding out what they did to protect the town… was crying. Rise sat up, brow furrowing hard as she watched this unprecedented phenomenon for a moment. Fat droplets of shame were rolling down to be absorbed by the collar of her ever-present green jacket as she gripped the skirt covering her thighs. How sad that trying to force herself to admit something like this was so difficult she couldn't do it without tears.

"Shhh," Rise soothed her as she pulled her into a warm embrace. And Chie clung as if she were a life raft. "It's okay. I'm on your side, okay? Remember? Investigation Team forever. Everything's gonna be fine."

That was all they could accomplish for a little while. Even though she was hiccuping and trying to keep her voice down, it seemed now that Chie had let down her ever-present shields it was all tumbling free in a rush. So Rise just held her, trying not to add to the mess by breaking down herself. Poor thing.

She only hoped time wouldn't make a liar out of her. Because if everything wasn't fine for Chie and Yukiko… then what chance did she and her boy-girlfriend have?

                                                   ~ o ~

Ai did eventually get back into contact with her later that evening, via text. Her first order of business was a heartfelt apology for blowing her off all day. They both did the dance of trying to reassure the other person that it was no big deal, and they both just needed some space to figure things out.

AI: But I really threw you for a loop and we both know it

RISE: Definitely

RISE: I'm sorry I just don't have a gentle way to agree you really fucked me up

AI: Wow do you have to put it like THAT?!

AI: Sounds like I was doing it on purpose!

RISE: I know you weren't!

RISE: Seriously… I'm sorry I just needed to figure things out

AI: Yeah… me too

AI: Look can I just call

RISE: Oh uhhhhh I guess?

No answering text. Just her phone ringing, and the poor idol dropping it and leaning away on her bed. Feeling silly that it had startled her so badly, she scooped up the phone and answered. "Hello?"

"Do you hate me?"

Rise's blood froze in her veins as she sat up straighter. Ai sounded bad. Not just unhappy, or like she had been crying, but she sounded as if she were completely out of energy. Swallowing hard, she whispered, "Ai-chan? Are you okay? What's…"

"No." A little sniffle. "I… I fucked up."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm… so I've had this… I…" Rise didn't interrupt; just gave her time to collect her thoughts. "I'm bulimic. I've been purging on a regular basis since before junior high, and I thought I had it under control, but… today wasn't good."

"Oh…" Wincing at the notion, she went on, "Oh, that's terrible, I'm sorry. I mean, I get why you would, you… thought you needed to."

Silence. Then in a quiet whisper, "It's been worse lately. And I'm not stupid, I know it's because of you and me; I'm… messed up about it, and instead of confronting my feelings, I binge and purge. And it's disgusting, and I'm disgusting, and I haven't been able to keep anything down since… Shinjuku."

"Oh. The beer. That got you started again, didn't it?"

"Like I ever really stopped," she snorted harshly. "But you're not wrong. I've been pretty good about just sticking to my diet the past few months, and now I'm stress-eating all the time, and then I have to purge because my system can't handle it, a-and…"

When her words devolved into unintelligible noises, Rise just soothed her, "Wait, wait, it's okay. It's okay! I mean, I might not get all the, um… boy-girl stuff, and whether or not we should be… u-uh… whatever we should be." Wow, eloquent; pull it together, Rise! "But I'm used to bulimic girls."

"What? I mean, you are?"

"Sure. There's a ton of them in the entertainment industry; we're all supposed to look like adorable little stick figures who are always happy. It's hard. I'm just lucky that I'm naturally kind of lean, but I still do have to watch what I eat. Other girls aren't so lucky — like you. Just like that. So…"

Ai sounded so desperate for affirmation when she pleaded, "So I'm not broken?"

"No way! I mean, maybe you shouldn't do it anymore, but like, it happens all the time. You're not crazy, and you're not 'broken'. I mean it."

"That's… that's the most I've believed anyone when they told me that in a long time." A long sigh. She still sounded weak but Rise was trying to suppress slamming the panic button. "Dad tells me that, too, but he isn't very convincing. I mean, he's my dad, he has to say that shit."

Giggling softly, she laid back on her bed and picked at a fray in the comforter with her painted nails. "Yeah, I get that. Well, with my grandma. My parents don't even call."

"Bitches." They both laughed. "Um… I think I'm gonna make myself go get some juice… but um… before I go…"

"Yes?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you so nice to me? I don't deserve it. No," she cut her off, and Rise almost laughed that her friend had predicted she was going to protest. "Don't argue, you know I'm a hot fucking mess. And I boss people around, and I… but you pushed until I let you befriend me. And I don't get it. I thought you were a nerd and a glutton for punishment, and you still showed me all this gross love until I caught it. Why would you? Why waste all that time on a gender-bending jerk like me when you could have picked any-"

"You're not a jerk. You're not a mess. And you are not alone."

The next word was a sob, but she was reasonably sure what she said was "Rise". So she just waited, curling up on her sheets more tightly with the phone pressed to her ear. Waiting, until finally… "Thank you."

"Hey, no big deal. Just… don't give up, okay? I'm in your corner, and I'm always going to be. You got a friend in me."

"Why does that sound so familiar?" she half-laughed.

Curling up with a warm smile on her face, Rise purred into the phone, "I have no idea, Ebi-chan. But I mean each and every word."

                                                  To Be Continued…

[monaedroid]

She rose to fame as an endlessly inventive pop android. Now, she's finally revealing the real person waiting inside

Janelle Monáe is crying in her spacesuit. It's early April in Atlanta, and she's in one of the basement studios of her Wondaland Records headquarters, surrounded by computer monitors and TV screens, one of them running a screensaver that displays images of her heroes: Prince, Martin Luther King Jr., Pam Grier, Tina Turner, Lupita Nyong'o, David Bowie. She's about to reveal, for the first time, something the world has long guessed, something her closest friends and family already know, something she's long been loath to say in public. As she sings on a song from her new album, Dirty Computer,"Let the rumors be true." Janelle Monáe is not, she finally admits, the immaculate android, the "alien from outer space/The cybergirl without a face" she's claimed to be over a decade's worth of albums, videos, concerts and even interviews – she is, instead, a flawed, messy, flesh-and-blood 32-year-old human being.

And she has another rumor to confirm. "Being a queer black woman in America," she says, taking a breath as she comes out, "someone who has been in relationships with both men and women – I consider myself to be a free-ass motherfucker." She initially identified as bisexual, she clarifies, "but then later I read about pansexuality and was like, ‘Oh, these are things that I identify with too.' I'm open to learning more about who I am."

It's a lovely spacesuit she's wearing, a form-fitting white NASA artifact complete with a commander patch on one arm and an American flag on the other. She's put it on for no reason at all – there are no cameras in sight – as she lounges around Wondaland. The outfit is a remnant, perhaps, of the android persona, known as Cindi Mayweather, that she fed us all these years: a messianic, revolutionary robot who fell in love with a human and vowed to free the rest of the androids.

Early in her career, Monáe was insecure about living up to impossible showbiz ideals; the persona, the androgynous outfits, the inflexible commitment to the storyline both on- and offstage, served in part as protective armor. "It had to do with the fear of being judged," she says. "All I saw was that I was supposed to look a certain way coming into this industry, and I felt like I [didn't] look like a stereotypical black female artist."

She is also a perfectionist, a tendency that's helped her career and hindered her emotional life; portraying a flawless automaton was also a bit of wish fulfillment. It's one of the many reasons she thought she had a "computer virus" that needed cleaning, which led her to years of therapy, starting before the 2010 release of her debut, The ArchAndroid. "I felt misunderstood," she says. "I was like, ‘Before I self-destruct, before I become a confused person in front of the world, let me seek some help.' I was afraid for anybody to see me not at the top of my game. That obsession was too much for me."

So she overcompensated, as she puts it, leaving fans to puzzle over the sight and sound of a dark-skinned, androgynously dressed black woman creating Afro-futuristic fantasias as trippy as the Parliament-Funkadelic soundscapes she grew up hearing. She became a pop anomaly, a sometimes incongruous interloper in the universes of her earliest supporters, Big Boi and Puff Daddy, the latter having signed her to a partnership with Bad Boy Records in 2008. The ArchAndroidwas a buzzy introduction, and 2013's Electric Lady – certainly the first progged-out concept album in the history of Bad Boy – established her as one of the 21st century's most inventive voices. Years before Frank Ocean, Solange, Beyoncé and SZA pushed arty, alternative R&B to the mainstream, Monáe was already there, bridging the gap between neo-soul and all that was to come, unafraid to fuse rock, funk, hip-hop (when she feels like it, as on her recent single "Django Jane," she's a top-flight rapper), R&B, electronica and campy, drama-kid theatricality.

She always ducked questions about her sexuality ("I only date androids" was a stock response) but embedded the real answers in her music. "If you listen to my albums, it's there," she says. She cites "Mushrooms & Roses" and "Q.U.E.E.N.," two songs that reference a character named Mary as an object of affection. In the 45-minute film accompanying Dirty Computer, "Mary Apple" is the name given to female "dirty computers" taken captive and stripped of their real names, one of whom is played by Tessa Thompson. (The actress has been rumored to be Monáe's girlfriend, though Monáe won't discuss her dating life.) The original title of "Q.U.E.E.N.," she notes, was "Q.U.E.E.R.," and you can still hear the word on the track's background harmonies.

Monáe is the CEO of her own label, a CoverGirl model and a movie star, appearing in the Oscar-winning Moonlight and the Oscar-nominated Hidden Figures, two hits led by black casts. In both films, she tackles black American stories that don't typically get the big-screen treatment. "Our stories are being erased, basically," she says of her attachment to those scripts, which made her "want to tell my story." Monáe does worry that the human behind her masks may not be enough. She has asked aloud, including in therapy, "What if people don't think I'm as interesting as Cindi Mayweather?" She'll miss the freedom of being the android. "I created her, so I got to make her be whatever I wanted her to be. I didn't have to talk about the Janelle Monáe who was in therapy. It's Cindi Mayweather. She is who I aspire to be." On Dirty Computer, the only hints of sci-fi are in the title and the storyline of the accompanying film. The lyrics are flesh-and-blood confessions of both physical and emotional insecurity, punctuated with sexual liberation. They're the unfiltered desires of an overthinker letting herself speak without pause, for once. And she wants to help listeners gain the courage to be dirty computers too. "I want young girls, young boys, nonbinary, gay, straight, queer people who are having a hard time dealing with their sexuality, dealing with feeling ostracized or bullied for just being their unique selves, to know that I see you," she says in a tone befitting the commander patch on her arm. "This album is for you. Be proud."

Monáe grew up in a massive, devoutly Baptist family in Kansas City, Kansas, or as she likes to put it, "I got 50 first cousins!" Not all of them know details of her romantic life, but they have almost certainly seen her wear sheer pants and share a lollipop with Thompson in the "Make Me Feel" video. "I literally do not have time," she says, laughing, "to hold a town-hall meeting with my big-ass family and be like, ‘Hey, news flash!' " She worries that when we visit Kansas City tomorrow, they'll bring it up: "There are people in my life that love me and they have questions, and I guess when I get there, I'll have to answer those questions."

Over the years, she's heard some members of her family, mostly distant ones, say certain upsetting things. "A lot of this album," she says, "is a reaction to the sting of what it means to hear people in my family say, ‘All gay people are going to hell.' "

She began questioning the Bible and her family's Baptist faith early on. Now, she says, "I serve the God of love" – love, she's determined, is the common factor among all religions, an idea Stevie Wonder expanded on in a Dirty Computer interlude.

When we arrive in the flat, industrial Kansas side of Kansas City, her family doesn't actually have any questions – or anything unkind to say, for that matter. There's just a whole lot of love for their homegrown superstar.

Janelle Monáe Robinson was born here on December 1st, 1985, to a mom who worked as a janitor and a dad who was in the middle of a 21-year battle with crack addiction. Her parents separated when Monáe was less than a year old, and her mother later married the father of Janelle's younger sister, Kimmy.

Monáe's loving warnings about the sheer size of her family ring true as soon as we step into her old neighborhood. On one street, her maternal grandmother owned several homes in a row that housed cousins, aunts, uncles and Monáe herself. A few minutes away is her paternal great-grandmother's pastel-coated house. Monáe spent a significant portion of her time there – it was her main connection to her dad and his family as he went in and out of prison; their relationship was rocky until he got sober 13 years ago. Another short car ride away is her maternal Aunt Glo's home, where we meet her mom. "She's my favorite slice of pie," her Auntie Fats says, referring to Monáe's familial nickname of "pun'kin."

Monáe was raised in a working-class community called Quindaro. It started as a settlement established by Native Americans and abolitionists just prior to the Civil War, and became a refuge for black Americans escaping slavery via the Underground Railroad. A few weeks before our visit, vandals painted swastikas and "Hail Satan" on a statue of abolitionist John Brown in the neighborhood. It's since been repainted. "I know nobody in this neighborhood did that," her great-grandmother says, shaking her head. "Outsiders."

On the Missouri side of the bridge, Kansas City is predominately white, but Monáe's community is overwhelmingly black. "I would read about where I was from," she says, "and understand who's really disadvantaged coming from these environments. It sucks. It's like that for brown folks." It's hard to miss her family's religiosity – they hardly get a sentence out without a mention of God's blessings. At 91, Monáe's great-grandma still monitors the halls at the local vacation Bible school with a switch in hand. During our visit, she sits behind a piano to lead a gospel singalong. Monáe, beside an aunt and a cousin, joins in, belting "Call Him Up and Tell Him What You Want" and "Savior, Do Not Pass Me By."

Monáe is never more relaxed during our time together than when she's in Kansas City. Her Midwestern drawl comes back as she screams and sings while running into the arms of her cousins, aunts and uncles, many of whom she gets to see only during the holidays or tour stops nearby. At one point, she curls up into her mom's lap while they look at a homemade poster full of sepia-toned childhood pics. "She was a delightful baby," Auntie Fats recalls.

Monáe's family members all share different versions of the same story: She was born to be a star, and she made that clear as soon as she gained motor skills. There was that time she got escorted out of church for insisting on singing Michael Jackson's "Beat It" in the middle of the service. There were the talent shows for Juneteenth where she covered "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" three years in a row and won each time. She was the star of the school musicals, except for The Wiz her senior year, when she lost the role of Dorothy because she had to leave the audition early to pick up her mom at work. She's still a bit miffed about not getting that part.

Monáe soon passed a bigger audition, for the American Musical and Dramatic Academy, and headed to New York. She studied musical theater and shared a small apartment with a cousin where she didn't even have a bed to herself. When she wasn't in class, she was working.

Meanwhile, an old friend was having the college experience Monáe desired, in Atlanta, so she relocated. The rest is well-trod history in the myth-building of Monáe: She was an Afro'd neo-soul singer strumming her guitar on college quads and working at Office Depot. She was fired from that job for using one of the company's computers to respond to a fan's e-mail, an incident that inspired the song "Lettin' Go."

That song caught the attention of Big Boi, who put her on Outkast's Idlewild and helped connect her with Sean Combs. "I'm-a be honest with you," her dad says, recalling an invite to one of Monáe's shows in Atlanta, where Combs was supposed to be in the house. "I was like, ‘Yeah, right.' I didn't think Puff Daddy was coming."

Skepticism aside, Michael Robinson was proud of the invite. He'd recently gotten sober, and the two were repairing their relationship. He spent much of Janelle's childhood hearing about her immense talents from the more-present members of their family. He was honored that they had come far enough for Monáe to want him to be there for such an important concert. But he still didn't believe Puffy would be there.

"I go down there with my two cousins, and she says, ‘Dad, everyone's gonna know you're not from here. Your jeans are creased.' " Fashion faux pas aside – he insists he hasn't creased his jeans since – Robinson was in for a pleasant surprise when one of his cousins spotted Combs and Big Boi in the back. It was the beginning of his daughter's new life, and he was just in time to be along for the journey. "I remember thinking, ‘This is what the big time is like,' " he muses. "They had all the cameras, all the lights. It was all about Janelle."

Wondaland Arts Society's headquarters feels like a utopian synthesis of Monáe's past lives in Kansas City and Manhattan. It sits inconspicuously in the midst of suburban Atlanta and looks like every other neighborhood home, with its two floors and brick exterior. Inside is much more ostentatious, with vintage clocks wallpapering the foyer, pristine white couches in the communal living spaces, and books and records everywhere.

It mimics the close-knit, constant accessibility of her childhood in Kansas City, with all its artists popping in and out of the space throughout each day to record new music, rehearse for shows and present the final product to the rest of the collective. At one point, the singer-rapper Jidenna shows up, having recently returned from a trip to Africa – everyone immediately starts teasing him about his newly buff physique.

Simultaneously, Chuck Lightning, seemingly the more extroverted half of two-man funk act Deep Cotton, who make their own music as well as work with Monáe, grabs a bowl of quinoa from the kitchen as Monáe doles out decisions on which version of the "Pynk" video will be released (they settle on the one without the spoken-word love poem that appears within the song in the film).

Monáe recorded most of Dirty Computer here, in a small studio with Havana-inspired decor. Guests and collaborators ranged from Grimes to Brian Wilson, who added harmonies to the title track. The album's liner notes cite Bible verses and a recent Quincy Jones interview alongside Monica Sjöö's The Great Cosmic Mother and Ryan Coogler's Black Panther.

But she was particularly close to one inspiration. Monáe was good friends with Prince, who personally blessed the album's glossy camp tone and synthed-out hooks. "When Prince heard this particular direction, he was like, ‘That's what y'all need to be doing,' " Lightning says. "He picked out that sound as what was resonating with him." Prince gave highly specific music and equipment recommendations from the era they were drawing on, including Gary Numan, whom he loved. "The most powerful thing he could do was give us the brushes to paint with," Lightning says.

Rumors spread that Prince co-wrote the single "Make Me Feel," which features a "Kiss"-like guitar riff. "Prince did not write that song," says Monáe, who sorely missed his advice during the production process. "It was very difficult writing this album without him." Prince was the first person to get a physical copy of The ArchAndroid – she presented the CD to him with a flower and the titles written out by hand. "As we were writing songs, I was like, ‘What would Prince think?' And I could not call him. It's a difficult thing to lose your mentor in the middle of a journey they had been a part of."

Stevie Wonder was another early fan of Monáe, and a conversation between them – Wonder insisted she record it – appears as an interlude on Dirty Computer. At one point, years ago, her budding friendships with both legends collided: She had to choose between playing with Prince at Madison Square Garden or with Wonder in Los Angeles. Prince encouraged her to pick Stevie.

On election night in 2016, Monáe found herself experiencing an unfamiliar emotion. "For the first time," she says, "I felt scared." Overnight, she went from living in a country whose president loved her music and had her perform on the White House lawn to one where it felt like her right to exist was threatened. "I felt like if I wake up tomorrow," she says, "are people going to feel they have the right to just, like, kill me now?"

Monáe had already been a committed activist. In 2015, with members of Wondaland, she created "Hell You Talmbout," which demands we say the names of black Americans who have been victims of racial violence and police brutality. Before #MeToo and Time's Up, Monáe created an organization, Fem the Future, which stemmed from her frustrations about opportunities for women in the music industry. She was called on to perform at the 2017 Women's March and to speak about Time's Up while introducing Kesha at the Grammys. "We come in peace, but we mean business," she told the cheering crowd.

That sums up Monáe's mindset in the Trump era. She hopes not to destroy the oppressors but to change their minds. "The conversations might not happen with people in the position of power," she says, "but they can happen through a movie, they can happen through a song, they can happen through an album, they can happen through a speech on TV. Most of them will probably turn off their TVs, but . . ."

She's in a New York hotel now, two weeks before the album's release. "There's some anxiety there, but I feel brave," she says, teetering between her typical sternness and a bit of vulnerable shakiness. No tears will be shed today. "My musical heroes did not make the sacrifices they did for me to live in fear." Her activism isn't the focus of Dirty Computer, but it's there, hovering above every note. She ended band rehearsal in Atlanta by asking the musicians to reflect on how American this album is. Monáe's America is the one on the fringes; it accepts the outsiders and the computers with viruses, like the ones she thought she had.

She understands the significance of now making her personal life a bigger, louder part of her art. She cites the conversation around one of her films as an example of how she might use her own story to engage with more-conservative listeners. "When I did Hidden Figures, there were some Republican white men tweeting about it and how they just felt bad. You could feel through their tweets that they were just like, ‘These black women did help us get to space. How could we treat them like that?' "

Meanwhile, she's again anticipating questions from her family back in Kansas. She seems more worried about them than what anyone else has to say. Still, Dirty Computer is meant to be a celebration, and if she loses a few people along the way, Monáe seems OK with that risk.

"Through my experiences, I hope people are seen and heard," she says, sitting at a hotel-room desk, dressed up from a day of promo in a puffy black-and-red jacket, matching red pants and terry-cloth hotel slippers. "I may make some mistakes. I may have to learn on the go, but I'm open to this journey." She sighs, voice confident and stare unfaltering. "I need to go through this. We need to go through this. Together. I'm going to make you empathize with dirty computers all around the world."

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/features/cover-story-janelle-monae-prince-new-lp-her-sexuality-w519523

[clovexei]

An Honest Review of the Emoji Movie

Longer than intended! Tbh I’m just leaving this here as physical evidence of the fact that I watched the whole thing. What was The Emoji Movie? Honestly we just don’t know.

The world-building was cool in concept but underdeveloped. It feels like a knock-off of Inside Out, but I spent most of the movie plagued by the same sort of stressful confusion that accompanies the Cars universe. A sampling:

Where do emojis come from? Are they born? Are they initially created in heterosexual sets of two so that they are able to procreate? If they're not born, why do some of them have children? How does the Princess family work, where there are apparently no male princesses? Is the Poop emoji an only father? What about the emojis who don't apparently have children/a heterosexual counterpart? Are those emojis going to grow old and die? What happens then? Do emojis die natural deaths? Do emojis age?

Why do the face emojis have to express the same emotion all the time and not just when they're on screen? It's like they're actors, but they have to be in their roles forever. Why? Why not just take pictures of the emojis and put those in the cubicles? Why do emojis have to physically stand in the cubes and wait to be picked, if they're only going to be face-scanned anyway? If there are multiple emojis, do they all take turns in the cubicles? Do they have to eat or sleep? If they do, then why? Aren't they made of code? Do they have to be in the cubicles whenever the phone is on? What if that's all day, every day?

Most of the questions I have about this movie carry over from world-building into the plot. Most of the events driving the plot feel like thinly-veiled plot holes. For example, the reason Alex is going to wipe his phone is to keep it from acting up – but it's acting up because Gene and company are moving from app to app. Buy why do the emojis hopping from app to app activate each app? If they're bopping around behind the scenes, why does that activate the user interface?

Another: A big scene happens in a Just Dance app, but Just Dance isn't an app? It's a motion-based dancing game, and you can get accessory-style apps for it, but the game itself is only on consoles/systems with a sophisticated motion-following camera. So it's not something that Gene an Jailbreak would be able to activate as a game on a phone.

(As an aside, I am human proof that you can suck at dancing and still pass levels in Just Dance so cut Jailbreak some slack, she was doing fine.)

Hi-5 is presented with a character goal (be a part of the Elite Favorite Emoji Club), but he doesn't actually do anything to achieve this goal. He wants to be a part of the club, joins Gene on his adventure, learns nothing, and gets to have his goal as a result, despite having no character growth and no indication that he's done anything to actually earn his goal. It's given to him as a way to wrap up the movie in a neat little bow.

As much as I didn't like that Jailbreak rejecting Gene's romantic advances was what finally turned Gene into the “Meh” emoji of his dreams, I do appreciate that him getting his Good Feelings back wasn't dependent on her reciprocating his feelings. That's a very good post-rejection message, and as much as this movie was weird and bad-romantic (“I've known you for twenty minutes but I LOVE YOU so let's  BE TOGETHER FOREVER like in the FAIRY TALES”), at least it dodged that particular bullet.

The characters in general were likeable but ultimately uninteresting. It's the same standard fare that I think is the easy trap to fall into: bland but relatable main guy, tomboy girl, and comedic side character.

Jailbreak was my favorite, but even so, I'm not sure what to think about what her arc was. The intended direction felt like “girl feels oppressed by rigid gender roles and leaves home, forms agreement with fellow outcast to further both her goals and his goals, realizes that she can be different and returns home to create her own rules about how she represents herself.” And this largely feels like what does happen in the movie, but I'm not sure how I feel about the execution of it?

She makes some interesting comments about feminism that seem like Character Flavor, and have elements that fit into the story overall, but her backstory and thought process isn't explored beyond “I had to do princess stuff and I HATE princess stuff so I left.” It falls into a style that I think is in vogue right now: to present girls as being Princesses and Not-Princesses. (This is especially popular in movies that are deliberately lampshading Disney's princess movies, but Brave did this, too.) And while I like that, at the end, Jailbreak realized (apparently) that she didn't need to not be girly in order to be happy and express herself, I don't know if that message carried over really well in general. We last see her in her original princess design as she runs the tech board for the emoji cubicles, so I guess she's comfortable with herself? And she's not picking Princess or Not-Princess but occupying a gray area in the middle? So that's good? But everyone else is still in one box or the other? So that's maybe not good? But with Gene paving the way to “be different,” there's a place for her and for others to be more socially flexible? But it felt like a sudden and easy resolution to something that was something that was so ingrained in their society that Gene was going to be executed for diverging from it.

Anyway. That was a tangent. TL;DR: Jailbreak is very queer and I like her but if feminism was going to be a part of her character arc, then I want it to be done with a lot more focus and nuance than there was? Yeah.

I liked Gene in the beginning of the film, when he was set up to be this energetic force for ENTHUSIASM, but Hi-5 muscled him out of that. Hi-5 is excitable, energetic, causes more trouble than good, and honestly, why do they even need Hi-5 as a character? He has the role that should have been absorbed by Gene. Within the first five minutes of Gene's introduction, we know that Gene is goofy, cheerful, and doesn't fit in. Hi-5 coming in as the goofy and cheerful side character demonstrably pushes aside those traits in Gene so that Gene can, nearly every time, play the straight man to Hi-5's hi-jinks.

If Hi-5 wasn't in the movie, then Gene would be both comic relief and the protagonist, which suits the energetic, playful way in which he was introduced. He would also have a much more interesting dynamic with Jailbreak: Jailbreak is jaded and bitter; Gene is (or should have been allowed to be) peppy and enthusiastic. With that push-pull dynamic, the interactions between the two would have been much more exaggerated and engaging, and it would have been believable that Gene encourages Jailbreak to be less standoffish and isolated.

Recommendation: Instead of relying on one-time gags and overdone food-related jokes, drop Hi-5 as a character and let the interactions between Gene and Jailbreak carry the comedic weight of the film.

Also, what is the target audience for this movie? Kids? Kids younger than 12? High schoolers? What do you gain by portraying students who have smart phones as mindless phone-obsessed zombies? Aren't you alienating your target audience? You're making fun of the people you're making this movie for?

There's a lot of that: of the creators being out of touch with their target audience. The gag of the text-based emoticons being old and out-of-date struck me as odd, when people are still using emoticons like that all the time. And, on top of that, we've developed new ones.

I also can't tell if Jailbreak's asides about feminism and female stereotypes are supposed to reflect her Cool, Modern persona or if they're meant to be funny? I think they're supposed to be the former, but they come across as the latter, especially since she gets so angry about the “Birds come when princesses whistle” stereotype... and then that stereotype turns out to be true and also plot relevant.

It did have some good jokes overall. The constant mismatch between Gene's parents having no visual expressions or tonal inflections paired with lines like, “I'm on the edge of my seat,” was right up my alley of humor. I also liked the Devil emoji's poop joke followed by the Poop emoji's tired sigh and “Aim higher, Steven,” but overall there were rather too many toilet jokes. “Aim higher” is kind of a good overall takeaway: this movie had jokes, but most of them felt like the same basic fare that one can usually find in kid's movies. It felt a lot like the humor in The Smurfs: The Hidden Village in that they cracked a lot of jokes, but most of them were overused or borderline mean, and so I didn't spend much time laughing, despite the fact that I was watching a comedy.

As for overall theme/message, I am biased on this front because, with little effort, this movie is a really odd, definitely unintentional allegory for, like, gay conversion therapy? And why it's not good? And why it's okay to be queer? This movie is about a cheerful, enthusiastic young man who disrupts serious social norms in his home community, who sets out to find a way to artificially alter his genetic make-up and encounters a young woman who likewise does not fit in and has rejected the social role/gender role she was expected to embrace, and the two of them realize together that what makes them different isn't bad and their differences should be embraced both by themselves and the wider community. Gay.

That metaphor is PROBABLY DEFINITELY very unintentional, but the romance between Gene and Jailbreak feels ham-fisted even without the queer undertones.

So, for a takeaway message, we have “It's okay to be unique,” which is the same message 50% of the rest of the kids' movies have these days, so cool, I guess. It's good to have that message reinforced, but there are also, as a result, more cohesive movies with the same message but better plotting and more interesting characters.

Overall Verdict:

Not great, could have been worse. I left The Bee Movie brimming with a confused and impotent rage, but this movie left me with vague good feelings and no deep impressions. I couldn't remember anyone's name either during the viewing or after. The animation was stretchy and bright and expressive, which I really liked. And the soundtrack was bright and bouncy. But the message was muddled, and I think the world-building/plot could have been (and should have been) a lot stronger than it was.

[northisnotup]

salty asks, hockey rpf, 1, 5, 9, 14, 19, 26 if none of them have been asked :)))) (also, 11 and 23 are essentially the same question and it's bothering me)

1. What OTP’s in your fandom do you Just Not Get: 

My big secret….revealed. Honestly, honesty hour here, Nicky/Ovi and Wilson/Latta. I mean, I *get* it, I just don’t…like…it. Mostly bc I do not like the Caps hockey and therefore I find I cannot like them as players/characters either. (Nicky/Ovi to me really reads as the Scrubs Guy Love Between Two Guys, totally bromance, no romance)

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you? 

I mean, it wasn’t and isn’t completely fandom’s fault, but I am just dipping my toes back into Sid/Geno after taking a long hiatus. Some of the things that came out/were said when Geno got married just really made me angry, and it coincided with a really shitty time in my life so I packed my bags and moved away. But I still like their dynamic, the relationship they have irl is still very real and very moving to me, and I can still work with it. 

9. Most disliked characters and why?

This…is a tricksy question. Bc there is a difference between ‘character’ and ‘player’ right? In no way am I a fan of bruisers or goons on the ice. I don’t like their play style and I don’t believe it belongs in hockey. But Brad Marchand is a legit Good Guy off the ice. Hangs out with my fav, donates to charity, volunteers! Great guy…outside the rink. And that is also how you have to write him, 

Hawks are persona non grata in my court. Always will be. Sorry not sorry. SCF’s are great when you are first getting into hockey and you are undecided on where you stand. After the first round of the first Cup Run I watched (2013-2014 season) I found I did not like them as a team, kept reading the fic until The Incident and then I doubled down. I don’t want to see them, think about them or hear about them Period. 

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

Emotional IQ. This one I am guilty of as much as anyone. The only work I’ve seen come close to ‘Yeah I can believe this is real’ is an older Jaime/Tyler story where it goes from hooking up to dating kinda accidentally. Fandom is full of queer women/nb peeps, and bc of how we’re socialized we usually have very high emotional iq’s. We’re bored (mostly) of miscommunication tropes. But man, a lot of us, me included, need to remember our source material. 

Like, character work is So Important, I would honestly say the Most important when it comes to fanfiction, because we can’t let the world shape our character’s so much as we need to find reasons for our character to be true to themselves in the worlds we create. 

It can make or break the fic. 

i.e.: AOS Kirk is not Kirk. He is a dull 1D fanboy’s wet dream of THEIR OC who is Just Like Kirk! and I will fight you to the death on that

19. One thing you hate about your fandom? 

This weird Pure Of Heart thing. 

Coming from other fandom’s it makes sense. They’re made up people saying words that were written for them by people with prejudices, visible or otherwise. Someone is responsible for what your fav. did or said and that sucks and can be fixed.

Hockey rpf is Real People. Sure, they’re based on the carefully curated media representations of people, but in the end, we’re writing about the fake lives of rich, dumb white guys. Guys who grew up in the closed door, entitled world of sports players. They’re gonna say and do stupid shit. We, as fans, have to draw our own lines of what we’re willing to put up with in regards to our source material and stick with it. 

26. Most shippable character? 

I. WANT. TO. RIDE. MY. BICYCLE.

Is this even a question? Of course it’s Sid, for me! 

[pyramidhead316]

On ‘Supergirl’ and toxic relationships.

So, I didn’t know about this sh*tstorm that was going on, until I came across it while reading one of my regular jaunts through Supercorp for the day, since I’ve been steadily working on my Star Wars/Supergirl/Persona crossover and my Silent Hill fic ‘Dark Descent’. (Yes, it’s as crazy as it sounds!  ;-D) And I’ve been shocked at the mess that this has turned into it. I’ve read accounts of it on Reddit, where people have blamed the fandom from Supergirl, and said that shippers are toxic to the series. Others have said that people are taking this way too seriously.

Yes, fans may be overreacting to this. I don’t condone threats or very harsh personal insults to the cast, since they have friends and family too. But here’s the thing. We’ve just endured an entire series of one of the worst relationships I have ever seen on screen, with a character that literally makes me, a bi-leaning man, want to see Bane break him. I really wanted Bane to just put in one appearance on ‘Supergirl’, break Mon-El in half, and then leave.  :-P  Chris Wood is a good man, but he’s been stuck with playing Mon-El, a character who is one of the worst and most boring love interests I’ve ever seen on screen, and who has sucked away nearly everything I loved about the series. He pales to some of the legendary love interests who have been presented for strong female characters in the past. Hell, he pales to James who came before him! And now we’re told that LGBT people, who don’t have enough representation on screen, have to feel diminished and that they’re not worth much to the show, that they have to accept anything thrown their way even if it’s insults, that they have to have their fantasies mocked, by straight people who can never understand even an inkling of what they’re going through (God, I really want to punch some straight people tonight, after reading through that thread on Reddit), and that it’s okay to have a formerly strong female be together with an absolute slime of a man, because God forbid you have another LGBT pairing on the show? Yeah, I don’t blame them for being pissed.

By now, I’m sure we all know what was done. Jeremy Jordan said something stupid at Comic Con, and used a song to turn it into a game. Thereby earning himself and Melissa the ire of about 500,000 fans. :-P Even Gail Simone herself has chipped in on this, bashing rightfully the cast for their idiocy. That we’ve pulled a legendary comic book writer from her important work to comment on this says a lot about this situation. The problem is not that Jordan said Supercorp was never going to happen. We knew it was never going to happen. The problem is that he then turned it into a game, using it to insult the very viewers that support him, and a partial portion of the cast was stupid enough not to shut him down. This would NEVER have been done for a straight pairing, and if you’re a straight person and you believe differently, then you’re a fool and deluded.

First off, let’s be honest: the way Kara and Lena are written on ‘Supergirl’ is queer baiting. I understand this happened a lot on another show, ‘Rizzoli and Isles’, to the detriment of that show’s cast when they personally took to mocking the show’s fans who were hoping for a pairing. A lot of people never forgave them for that. Another reason why I never watched that show, besides my disinterest for police procedurals. I don’t have time for that game. Kara and Lena could easily pass for best friends at first. But the dozens of flowers as gratitude for saving (or trying to save) her reputation? The increasing relying on Kara for support? The fact that Lena and Kara have more chemistry in their little fingers than Melissa and Chris have in their entire bodies, on screen? (Where is this supposedly hot action that Karamel fans see on screen? The words that come to mind are “cold fish”. Now John Crichton and Aeryn Sun – there’s a HOT pairing! And I’m not ashamed to say that as a man.) All this has to be intentional on the part of the writers. The chemistry can be accidental – that happens in sets, but the actors can only work with what they’re given. Mon-El never should have passed beyond his comic relief role as an almost little brother for Kara, and I think the writers realize this. They have no plans for what they want to do with him in the end, but he fits the traditional white bread image of a love interest. Lena and Kara have fantastic chemistry, terrific chemistry, but the writers already have an LGBT pairing on the show, and they can’t afford another one – the censors would eat them alive. So, they write this way, teasing glimpses of something that could be more, in order to keep the LGBT audience watching, knowing that there will never be more. That’s queer baiting. Writing teasing glimpses and touches, in order to give the appearance of a possible gay relationship, knowing that there will never be another gay relationship on the show all the while.

Secondly, some people say that why is it important. Do you wonder why so many fans pair together characters in lesbian or gay relationships? People flock to pairings because there is a dearth of representation on the television. Hetero relationships have NEVER been under-represented on TV, ever. It has been the norm for so long that people have accepted it as the norm, and don’t realize that it’s not everybody’s norm. It’s become so accepted for people to assume that a character is straight that a woman could come in on a show and start flirting with every woman imaginable, and people would still assume she was straight and just playing around, unless she outright said she was gay. The same goes for men. Jonathan Frakes attempted to destroy this with an episode of “Star Trek: The Next Generation” in the 90’s, by wanting a man to play his love interest, showing that love knew no gender, but big surprise, the writers never let him get it passed, out of fear of the censors. If you would just give us more LGBT pairings to root for, we wouldn’t give a crap who Supergirl was with! As it stands, you don’t and you pair her with a man that she would otherwise be advised to dump as soon as possible by most people. It’s the final insult, in a long line of insults. What do you expect to happen!?  O_O  You can’t keep pushing the LGBT fandom, teasing them and needling them whenever necessary, and not expect some fallback. Yes, sometimes it falls on the actors unfortunately, but you have to understand that a lot of people out there are getting sick of this ‘straight only, white only’ crap out there. I notice that you guys didn’t go deep into Maggie’s background in Blue Springs, because you probably didn’t want to traumatize white viewers watching it. What’s the matter, you don’t want to show how nasty white people can be in a small rural town?  o_O  (And I say this as someone who’s most favorite protagonists are mostly white (Solid Snake, Alessa Gillespie, Raiden, Anakin Skywalker, Kara, etc. The whities are strong in my fics. ;-P Yet it’s their stories I like, not their skin color.)

Wonder Woman is absolutely, blatantly acknowledged as bisexual in the comics. Why is she not portrayed as blatantly bisexual in the movie?  O_O  Are you that terrified of the few hundred Christians who will protest the decision, that you don’t want to risk ever giving a hint of it in the film? Oh no, other Amazons can be involved with women, and Diana herself admits that men are useless for pleasure, but God forbid you come out and say that she loves women. And this isn’t an attack on the WW filmmakers, they did the best they could. This is an attack on the mindset in Hollywood that says you can’t make a protagonist gay or bisexual in a strong Summer tentpole movie. Why don’t we have a major gay or bi superhero out there, in full display? Why are we letting the bigots continue to run our entertainment for us? And I hate to see this kind of crap filtering down to the television world, with its series.  :-(  Some people would say, that we should be grateful we got one LGBT couple, in Alex and Maggie. That’s exactly the point: we shouldn’t have to be grateful for only getting one couple, the scraps of whatever they deem fit to toss us? You may know more gay people in your real life than you see on TV! It’s ridiculous. When are we going to be able to see a woman loving a woman, or a man loving a man, and not have it called a perversion or “sickening” children’s minds? It’s the freakin’ 21st century. Get with the program!

Third, if it had been a man who was Lex Luthor’s brother or son, you can believe the Network would have wanted that they hook up and sleep together in three episodes into the season. You can better believe that would have happened. In fact, it would have been a demand: they would HAVE to sleep together, or the writers would be hearing from the network executives soon. Yet God forbid that a woman has something besides friendship with another woman!  :-P  Yes, it’s perfectly fine to have women be platonic friends: it’s completely ACCEPTABLE! But that’s not the whole story. Far too often, women’s love has been restrained only towards the friendly, while it was expected that any man they meet up with would immediately turn into the romantic. James, Winn, and Mon-El; three red-blooded men who fall in love with Kara, and want to be with her. Why is it that every time Kara meets a man, it has to be romantic? Yet with Lena, a woman, it’s like, oh no, she has to be a friend only! There’s a blatant double standard there, and you must be a blind man without Daredevil’s enhanced senses if you can’t see it!  :-P

What hurts about Jeremy Jordan’s words is that his character was (unfairly) characterized as a Nice Guy (™), and not the one you hope for but the other one (i.e. manipulative asshole), whereas he wasn’t that at all. I think he was a friend who genuinely fell in love with Kara, and then shifted out of it later on. He wasn’t trying to manipulate her feelings, by playing the sensitive companion. But the point is that he, out of all the cast members, should have learned that you have to be careful with what you say, and make sure writers give the right impression. It’s like the actor learned nothing from his own arc!  O_O  I can almost expect this from James’ actor, because then it would have been characterized as jealousy that his character never got a full romantic arc with Kara, and people are clamoring for one with Lena. But for this to come from Winn’s actor, who should have learned that you have to be careful with what you say, because of his own story, is just incredible to believe. I’m glad the actor who plays J’onn J’onzz is staying out of it. He seems to be the wisest of all the main performers there.

I just find this all sickening. The fact that LGBT fans still have to fight for even the slightest shred of respect, and that the smug straight people call them “immature” or “perverts”, or “toxic” or “obsessed for it”. F*cking bastards. It just makes me sick, and makes me wish to never interact with the ‘normal’ fans ever again. If this is what the ‘normal’ fans look like…I’d rather be with the shippers, thank you very much.  :-P

Why are gay people and bi people pissed all the time with TV shows? Because gay people ALL DIE in serious programs!!  O_O  The Clexa thing is an example. You have a 10 times greater chance of dying in a serious TV show, if you’re a gay person! No happy endings are allowed, no sirree. You have to satisfy the Network’s demands that gay people are a perversion, and deserve to die, even if it’s heroically. Whereas with a straight couple, God forbid they have some fatal trouble in their relationship.  :-P  Some people dismiss that as an insignificant detail, that some people are obsessed with Lexa. I used to think that way, too. Until they realized the truth. Many, if not most straight protagonists make it through their relationship intact. Gay people don’t.

I’ll be honest, I am not going to be watching the season 3 episode when it first premiers. Not just because of this, but because of all the crap with Mon-El, the lazily scripted arcs, the people acting completely out-of-character for the sake of the plot, the hints of Lena turning evil, and many other things. Mon-El sucked all the joy I found out of watching ‘Supergirl’, and the crap going on around him didn’t help. I didn’t care for watching ‘The Mon-El Show’ week after week, and it just became a chore to watch, week in and week out. Sometimes I even switched over to ‘Dancing With The Stars’, even though the lineup was the worst it had been in several years, because I got bored with ‘Supergirl’. At that point, I’d rather have watched a show about J’onn J’onzz and his little adventures, than turn to follow Kara and Mon-El. :-P  I’ll wait about six episodes in, until I make sure that it’s good, before tuning in. It wouldn’t be the first time I abandoned a series. I stopped watching ‘The X-Files’ way before the final episode ever aired, and I gave up on ‘Farscape’ for a brief little while when it was obvious the writers had no idea what they were doing, until they got themselves back on track. (Which they did. Thank God.) I have no trouble easily abandoning a series for a few short episodes, until it sorts itself out. Kara’s strong characterization is gone. The strong sisterly bond she shared with Alex is gone. J’onn’s commanding presence is gone, thanks to being hijacked by Mon-El. Lena is set to be evil, from what it looks like, which would completely take away the grayness of her character and stupidly prove that “You are more than your family” just isn’t true.  :-P  Cat Grant is sorely missed, because James is no replacement, Snapper is sure as hell no replacement, and as cruel as she was, she brought something to the show which is lacking now. Getting rid of the “strong feminist tones” to satisfy the red-blooded American male, apparently means making it like everything else. There is nothing worth watching on ‘Supergirl’ at this time. That’s the simple truth. Besides the occasional guest starring character; those are always good (i.e. Superman, Mxy, etc.). Unless they’re Daxamite. Then they just suck.  :-P  I hate to put it this way, but maybe it’ll spur some clarity in some folks. ‘Supergirl’ has become a toxic relationship in itself, expecting you to take whatever crap it dishes out, because hey it’s tradition! – that’s what all the other shows do, and I’m cutting it right now. No one is forced to watch, not even if Melissa’s or Chyler’s acting is excellent, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do, I won’t watch. It’s that simple.  :-P  Unless the show does some serious redeeming, gets back to strong characterization, and forces Mon-El to show remorse for all of the godawful things he did and his godawful fratboy douchebag personality, I’m not going to come back for what is sure to be a sh*tshow of white privilege and faux-romantic arcs painfully grinding strong women down. I miss the way the show was when CBS used to run it.  :-(

The irony? I wished for it to be a part of The CW Arrowverse. I see now that my wish was horribly misguided.  :-(

*And I can assure you that Mon-El is going to get the most unholy of beatings in my fic. Nothing personal, but his clownish personality and incompetent fighting skills make me sick, and other heroes that aren’t Kara aren’t going to stand for this crap. Can you imagine Batman training this guy? Holy sh*t, Bruce Wayne would go ballistic!  :-P  As for Winn, I was going to give him a cute little obsession with Star Wars, once he realized the Jedi were real. Oh no, Serra is going to take him to task now, for some of his more annoying foibles. :-P  No mercy for the I.T. Hobbit. (And to think, I used to hate that nickname. No longer. You suck, Jeremy Jordan. Thank you for ruining my pure, innocent image of Winn.  :-P)

No anonymous messages bashing my views, please. I automatically delete any anonymous messages I receive on my inbox, on every site I’m on whether they’re positive or negative.  :-P