#the thing I've been stressing over for so long has finally fallen into place...

[o-sahiba]

[peachesofteal]

Through Me (The Flood) - secret baby fic Simon Riley / female reader - warnings: discussion of past abuse, Simon’s trauma Request: take your baby to work day

You're wide eyed at the front door.

"You sure you guys will be alright?" Your voice is clear, but your hand trembles on the door handle, bottom lip tugged across your teeth.

"We'll be okay sweetheart. But if you're uncomfortable, or it's too much, you should take him-"

"No, no. I'm fine. You're not supposed to bring the baby to OB appointments anyway. It's frowned upon." You roll your eyes, tipping up to kiss Ry on the cheek. "Just... don't let anyone breathe on him, or kiss him, okay? His immune system is still fragile compared to ours. I packed you like, three bottles so hopefully he'll take them if he gets hungry. Text me if-"

"Mama." He holds Orion in one arm, and grabs your hand with the other. You're frightened, and stressed, and he's driven to comfort you, the need to soothe you throbbing across his skull. "I've got this. We'll be just fine. Text me when you're done. Get yourself a tea or something afterwards, alright? Everything is going to be okay." You nod.

"Right, of course. You're... you're right. And you're going to a military base, I doubt there's a safer place around."

"C'mere." He tugs you into his side, and you wrap your arms around his stomach, nestling in opposite Orion. "I need you to do something f'me."

"What?"

"I need you to swear to me you'll tell your doctor about the dizzy spells." There's been a reminder card about your twelve week postpartum appointment on the fridge for two weeks now, and after you finally confessed you have been getting dizzy since Orion was born, and one time had even fallen, he decided to skip several steps by making the appointment for you. You were... not pleased, but he made it very clear, he's not playing a game with your health. He's planning his battles strategically now, putting pieces in play slowly, working towards his larger goal, but this was something he refused to compromise on.

"Okay." You whisper, burying your face in his chest. "I will." He lands a kiss to the top of your head.

"We'll see you soon. It'll be over before you know it, and maybe we can get a takeaway for dinner?" Your lips crack into a toothy smile.

"Sounds good to me."

"Alright, lad. Let's go see daddy's team." Orion stares at him, brown eyes curious, and watchful. He’s still not used to it, this feeling. This life, with you and his baby. Everyday, he has to stop to ground himself, anchor himself. Break from the cycle of a downward spiral, obsessive thoughts playing with his mind, counting down the million and one ways he could lose you, or fail you, or both. He’s careful, he’s diligent, he’s in control. He’d never make a mistake like he did before, the error of judgement that cost him his mother, his brother and his family-

But the incessant fear never ceases.

Fortunately, his anchor now is you. You, when you let him carry you to bed, when you watch him rock Orion to sleep as you stand in the doorway, you who curls up next to him on the couch now, fingers curled into his shirt like you’re afraid he might disappear. Your touch heals. Your words comfort. He can't fathom a future without you, or Ry, now.

If he thinks back on it, he wonders if he knew all along. If all the things he felt the night he met really meant forever, just like he had wished. A fantasy turned reality-

to have and to hold.

His stomach turns, wondering if his father ever felt this, if he ever loved, or if he was always just a monster, the ouroboros of victim turned abuser, the man who terrorized his mother, his brother and himself, long past the time Simon finally tore him to pieces, cracked his ribs, beat him into the ground.

Tommy broke the cycle, and from the moment he laid eyes on his son he knew.... he would too.

Price's secretary looks like she's seen an actual ghost. "Hey, Lindsey. Is he in?" She's staring, flicking back and forth to Orion and then up to his face, mouth slightly agape.

"Y-yeah he's..." she points over her shoulder at his closed door. "Lieutenant, did you... is that... is that your baby?" He nods, mouth curving into a proud smile, stepping close enough so she can get a good look at him. She almost jerks back, clearly not used to being so close to him. He's been here and there, off and on base all week catching up on a backlog of reports, but hasn't said a word to anyone, and he keeps everyone on base at arm's length except the 141.

"It is." Her shocked expression melts, hesitantly reaching her pointer finger towards Ry, allowing him to wrap it up in his chubby little fist. "This is Orion." She smiles at him, and then the baby, kindly.

"He's beautiful." She excuses herself when the phone rings, and he settles the tension burning between his shoulder blades. He didn't mentally prepare for this moment, didn't believe he had to. The expectation of Price's acceptance was assumed but now, his trepidation is a surprise.

He told his captain he needed to take leave for something really important, but never said for what. All he told him is that he'd loop him in soon, and that he was sorry he wouldn't be available for the next op. If John was curious, he didn't let him know, didn't push him for more info, didn't pester him. He just sent the forms to Simon's email to be filled out with a postscript:

Looking forward to hearing what this is all about.

And when Simon crosses the threshold of his office, baby in one arm, backpack stuffed with nappies and bottles in the other-

John Price laughs.

It's not the huff of a chuckle that Kate usually gets out of him, or the rolling guffaw that he gives the guys sometimes when he's particularly amused.

No, this is different. It starts in his belly and then rolls upwards, all the way until his shoulders are shaking and he's wiping his eyes.

Simon scowls, and John holds both his hands up, palms out. Surrender. "This is a good enough reason as any to take a chunk of all that leave saved up." He stands, stepping around to get a closer look. "What's his name then?"

"Orion." John nods thoughtfully. The backs of his fingers brush along the baby's arm, gently, slowly, a flicker of longing, of sadness, arcing across his face before it dissipates.

"The giant hunter Zeus banished to the skies." Organized stacks of paper sit in neat little piles on top of John's desk, authorizations he'd know anywhere. They're moving out. "Where's his mum?"

"At a doctor's appointment." Orion gurgles, and Simon pats his back, bouncing him slowly from side to side.

"You with her?" The answer is immediate.

"Gonna marry her." John's eyes fill with mirth.

"But she doesn't know that yet, does she."

"No," Simon sighs, "but she will. 'ts why I needed the leave. Besides," he motions to the infant tucked in his arm, "this, helping take care of him, taking care of her, I need to get them moved to a secure location. She's in a second level flat right now, with street facing windows. It's makin' my skin itch." Price will get it, Simon knows he will understand. He has his own secret at home, tucked away in a house only Simon and Laswell know about, just in case.

"Take it slow, don't want to spook her. Although I can't imagine she's too skittish if she took you to bed." He smirks. "You've got the time you requested. Had to call in a substitute for this one, but we'll need you on the next."

"How long?"

"Five weeks, maybe more. I'll ring when we're back on base." Five weeks. The clock is ticking, a bomb waiting to detonate, a guillotine waiting to sever his time with his family, his duty dragging him away.

"Alright." He concedes. Cross that bridge when he comes to it.

If Price sees his reluctance, he doesn't comment on it. "Bird'll be here in six hours. Boys are in the rec room, if you want to see 'em." Simon nods, shifting the baby in his arms as he heads towards the door. "And Simon," he turns, locking eyes with his captain, raw emotion plain on both their faces. Price gives him a genuine smile. "Congratulations. You're going to be a great father."

There's a lump in his throat as he crosses the campus to the rec room, his nose dipping across Ry's head, breathing him in as deep as he can behind the black cloth mask. "He's gonna be your godfather, little man. We just have to get Mama to agree, don't we?" He tugs the building's door open, ignoring the streams of chatter suddenly grinding to a halt in the hallway. Once he makes it to the rec room and sees that no one else is inside, just Johnny and Gaz battling it out in an intense game of pool, he slips the mask off his face and locks the door.

Soap is the first one to see him. "Steeeamin' jesus, LT is that a bairn!?" Kyle chokes on his water.

"Is that your baby, Riley?" They both scramble forward, Johnny whistling in disbelief.

"Aye, he's got to be. Look at the size of 'im."

"Johnny." Simon gives him the 'settle down' look, but the Sergeant only grins impishly.

"He's hers, innit he?" Gaz reaches, and Orion watches him with interest. "The girl from the bar. The one who lives close to me." Johnny's eyes go wider than globes.

"Ach Ghost, ye been busy wit' that boa-"

"Johnny." He hisses, and Kyle barks a laugh, reaching. Simon doesn't balk about handing Orion over, even though you were cautious about letting other people be around him. This is his team. He trusts them implicitly.

"He's a heavy lad, isn't he?" Kyle bounces him back and forth, all the while Ry stares at him with his head tipped back, mesmerized. "Looks jus' like you."

"Maybe a wee bit more handsome." Johnny's leaning around Kyle, his hand on Ry's back. They're mooning over him, two decorated, strategically brilliant sergeants, cooing at a baby like a bunch of sooks, as Johnny would say.

His phone vibrates in his pocket, a text from you letting him know you're finished, and heading home.

>Has he eaten?

>No, hasn't seem interested.

>Thank god.

Knowing you're probably in pain makes him antsy to get back, and he glances at the guys. "You movin' out in a few hours?"

"Aye, lookin' for some sort of stolen intelligence. Shouldnae be too long. Got a rent-a-Lieutenant and everythin'. Ye'll be back for the next?"

"I will. Stay frosty out there. I expect you all back in one piece."

He triple checks the carseat, testing the straps and the strength of the seatbelt before finally deciding it's secure enough, for the hundredth time today. He takes one last look, and presses a kiss to Orion's head. "Ready, bub? Let's go home and see mama."

[nerdinsandals]

Hi I just need to vent a lil bit because I'm kinda frustrated with my health at the moment shdkfj

I'm not like, sick or anything, or at least I don't think I am. I'm just feeling physically and mentally exhausted to the point that I can barely keep my eyes open sometimes, or maybe I manage to do one (1) task and that's enough to knock me out for the day and maybe even the next day sometimes if I do more than one thing that requires the smallest amount of effort. It's not like I was full of energy before because my battery is always at like 60%, but I don't think I've felt this weak in a long time, and this has been going on for months already. Some days are better than others, but I never feel like I'm at my normal.

At first I thought it was just the result of all the accumulated exhaustion I wasn't allowing myself to feel while preparing for my librarian exam (which took place in late January), but like I said it's been months already and I feel like the exhaustion should've been gone by now? But then I remembered that I was sick with a high fever a couple weeks before said exam, because a relative thought it was a great idea to come to visit with clear flu-like symptoms and no mask (and they didn't cover their mouth when coughing, either), so of course I caught whatever they had. I rarely catch viruses, but I still get vaccinated and take as many precautions as I can because, when I do, I usually have to deal with the nastier side-effects, unlike other people who recover just fine.

Since I was isolating anyway because I was in full hermit mode studying for my exam, I didn't think about taking a COVID test, but now I'm starting to think that maybe what that relative had was in fact COVID and what I'm experiencing is post-viral fatigue? It's the only thing that makes sense with the information I have, since iirc it can last for months… I'm not sure if there's anything that can be done to make it better so idk if I should bother my doctor again (healthcare is currently very overworked and understaffed here, and especially in the summer), but if I keep feeling this way after the summer I guess an appointment won't hurt. 😅

My librarian exam fortunately went well despite already feeling the exhaustion (which at that point I chalked up to the stress of preparing for the exam for like a year), and I don't know the final results just yet because they're taking an embarrassingly long time to publish them, but I have to wonder if I would've done better had I not fallen sick. I needed to do exceptionally well to secure the position and unfortunately, while like I said, I did well (like an 80 out of 100), I didn't do "secure the position by getting in the top 10 out of thousands" well. ;; There's always next time I guess. But right now I just want to be able to draw and do things I enjoy without getting tired!

So yeah, I thought I'd be able to get at least a couple pieces done for Conway Day this year, but with only a bit over a couple weeks left I haven't been able to even finish *one* because I don't want to push myself and make it worse. I hope I can at least finish one of them, since I should be able to make a couple posts out of it! And of course I know this should be the least of my worries, but I just really like celebrating Conway Day and it frustrates me that I can't have my usual stash of new art to provide haha

Anyway, thanks for reading and take care of yourselves! And tell your relatives to wear a mask if they want to visit you and they know they're sick (or maybe don't visit at all?) 😑

[tartarusknight]

What you need to know :)

Hello darling readers <3 I'm TartarusKnight or Knight of Tartarus! (they switch depending on availably honestly)

I'm here to chat, read, and write. That being said~~~~ come and message me anytime <3 questions, requests, and kind words make my day

This is an overview of my work just in case anyone is bored and wants something to read <3 (My Stranger Things work, honestly. I've also got some Marvel, Criminal Minds, and Teen Wolf but ST is my hyper fixation now soooo)

We're Not Perfect

This is a 4 part series in which Steve and Eddie knew each other before Steve ever got with Nancy Wheeler and before he learned about the Upside Down. It's heavily inspired by music <3 (Total Words 300,395) With Playlists because I can't stop <3 This story is my baby

Part 1 - It's the Start of Our Journey?

Pre-season 1 Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson are paired together in class and they learn they work well together. (Words 22,869)

Part 2 - I just want to go home

Set during Seasons 1-3, changing canon but the overarching story doesn't change too much. (Words 85,678)

Part 3 - say you'll live for me

Set in season 4, diverting from canon almost completely but with all the same characters. (Words 63,885)

Part 4 - I'll follow the beat of your heart

And the end. The final battle with Vecna and the epilogue aka season 5 <3 (Words 127,963)

Fool

Based on the song Fool by Djo.

Steve and Nancy get annoyed at Robin and Eddie for ignoring them when they're with their band. They decide to prove that they know music better than either Eddie or Robin thought. (Words 1,488)

I know you've been hurtin'

Based on the song Better Days by Dermot Kennedy and fanart by @babysitterpng

Steve has a plan. It involves a skirt, confidence, Nancy Wheeler's ability to do make-up, the party's anxiety, his parents, and Jason Carver's temper.

And well, Steve's pretty sure he has it in the bag. He might not be smart but he knows people and there's no way he's read any of them wrong. But maybe he'll learn more about himself as the plan unfolds (Words 7,205)

This dream isn't feeling sweet, we're reeling through the midnight streets

7 things that changed about Steve and Robin after Starcourt and 1 time they explained why. (Words 11,837)

I'm just gonna swim until you love me

Five times Steve had to prove he was worth love and One time someone just loved him without needing him to. (Words 8,612)

But when I touch her I feel like I'm cheating on you

Eddie is getting overwhelmed by the party just barging into his life without any warning after Spring Break. So, he makes a plan with an old friend of his. It works... in a way. (Words 1,932)

you're losing your memory now

Robin Buckley wasn't prepared for Steve to crash, but he had been pushing his limits for too long. He had a plan, but he never thought to tell her. He didn't want to worry her. Too bad she'll always worry about him... Especially when he collapses at work. (Words 17,784)

But Now We're Stressed Out

Eddie Munson knew he wasn't the smartest person. He never planned on college but he never planned for the Party either.

Title based on Twenty One Pilots - Stressed Out (Words 2,021)

I don't know what you're hunting. It's not me, it's something else

Steve looks over her face, “I'm not having any of you at my place. Did you see the map, no way?” He states and it's one part of his reasoning but not the main reason. “Then come stay with one of us,” Robin says and it feels more like a plead than anything.

He shakes his head and she looks angry now. “Stop whatever the fuck this is! We care about you! Let us in! We're safer in groups.” The words don't hurt as much as he thinks they should. “Not that much safer.” He spits back out and she blinks. “Max is as good as dead. Eddie is dead. And guess what! We were in groups!” The shouting makes his throat burn but he can't calm down.

A Halloween Special!!! Happy Horror season <3 (Words 22,620)

WIP - The Fallen King and the King of the Freak

Steve has to deal with the fallout of Season 2.

New nightmares, losing Nancy, kids who he's willing to die for, and Billy's new hatred towards him. He went from the top to the bottom in the school and he doesn't know how bad it is until Eddie Munson is the one that steps in to help him. And maybe he wants the help and maybe even some friends. (Words 150k and climbing <3)

[tartrazeen]

Why am I making myself sad 😭

I've had this really nice (sad 😭) head canon about Angus and Rohan growing up. I could write it as fanfic...

... or I could just barf it into a post like I'm doing now.

So this is about the two of them when they were very young.

Basic backstory: in my head, when they say they've known each other for "practically all their lives" and "as long as either of them could remember," they mean it: I have Angus as being a year older, and the two of them meeting when Rohan was six and Angus was seven. Both orphans. Both without a home. Rohan woke up from where he'd fallen in a forest one day, and Angus was the kid standing over him, the first thing Rohan saw, who was waiting to see if he was dead or not lol

Angus took enough of a liking to Rohan when they were in that forest that when Angus went to leave, and Rohan sort of baby-duck'd onto him and followed along, Angus mostly just shrugged. There was a village nearby, after all, and that's where Angus had been headed anyway, having just been passing through that forest when he saw a maybe-corpse. When Angus goes to leave that village a few days later, Rohan continues baby-ducking and following his new best friend. Angus, being seven and not thinking any further than his next meal, shrugs and accepts that he's got a buddy now. He has no idea that he's just signed up for a life-long commitment.

Skip ahead to their present day, or maybe a few months after the finale. Maeve's exiled, Nemain hasn't started her shenanigans yet, so there's a decent sense of peace over Kells.

Rohan is telling the others about how he and Angus grew up. In this particular version of my daydream (I like changing it), it's because Rohan's still trying to bond with Lugad but doesn't know how to be an older brother to him. Ivar explains that an older brother's supposed to protect his younger siblings, guide them through life, keep them happy, and help shape them into who they are as adults. And Rohan's miffed, because Lugad's already grown, so it seems like the ship's sailed on that.

Deirdre tries to think of ideas for Rohan to try, and eventually asks how it was for him and Angus. Rohan does his little scoff-laugh, saying he doesn't see what that matters. When the others push, he says Angus is his best friend...

... but to be honest, he wouldn't say Angus was 'protecting' him. Rohan was usually the one getting Angus out of trouble, and Lugad isn't antagonizing every guard in every village. In fact, Lugad grew up in one place. It might have been on a horrible island, but at least Lugad didn't make Rohan move a hundred times because of some tiny thing he didn't like about where they were one morning.

This gets into him explaining that when they were boys - Rohan being seven, Angus being eight - they'd had some rough times trying to survive by themselves. They did take care of each other, but Angus would... well, he'd be a little selfish from time to time. Rohan doesn't blame him because they were both so young, but he says that's the difference between being brothers and being best friends. Rohan loves him and obviously Angus is his family now, but back then, they were just two kids that happened to meet one day.

He gives examples when the others ask. For instance: food. There wasn't much of it. Sometimes, they'd be close to starving. And sometimes, Angus would let the hunger get the best of him, and he'd eat his whole share - more than that - before Rohan even got back to split it. And then Rohan would be stuck eating whatever happened to be left.

It was almost funny, because Rohan could even see how bad it was. Sometimes, Angus would get caught by the guards for stealing and be gone for a few days. Magically, there'd be enough food the whole time that Angus was gone. No hard feelings, Rohan stresses, but it was entertaining to look back on it. Angus had never lost that appetite either; even now, he'd eat everything around him.

The most frustrating part was how Angus always had to complain about where they were living. It'd be over something small, and so small that Rohan can't remember now that nearly fifteen years have passed, but Angus would think it was more than enough reason to pack up that very night and head onto the next village. Eventually, they got to the village closest to the castle, and they had to stay there because where else were they going to go? Rohan had genuinely been afraid when he first became Cathbad's druid, thinking that in the meantime, Angus was going to head off again - without Rohan.

He hadn't. :) All was well.

Anyway, that was why taking lessons from Angus wasn't the best approach.

There's dinner in the throne room later on, and Angus is here now. There's a light conversation and Rohan idly laughs about having to move from village to village so often. Angus rolls his eyes and laughs like he agrees the whole thing was a chore, and Rohan says that at least a lot of good came out of it: if Angus hadn't been so picky, they would've never been where they needed to be for Rohan to become Draganta.

To be honest, there were fun moments while they were moving, too. Angus would whine endlessly about how much he hated the forest, which would shut him up when they finally got to their next village. But despite that, Angus would tell Rohan story after story. They'd be made up, but Rohan still remembers some of them. They were vivid - Angus has always had a way of spinning a tale, and those would lull him to sleep under those trees. It was peaceful. Rohan kind of misses it. Too bad Angus hates sleeping on the ground.

Deirdre asks what sort of stories these were. Rohan says they'd be ones about a clumsy bunny who kept dropping its magic rings, or even one about the princess herself, trying to pluck a silver plate from a waterfall of plates, and only having one chance. Or there'd be a field of grass made out of gold, and a knight having to stomp through with his armour, trying to stop the sheep from eating all the golden grass. Cute things like that.

Angus is a little impressed that Rohan remembers those. Rohan shrugs, saying he's always enjoyed Angus' stories. But now that they're talking about it, and knowing that Rohan did appreciate getting to be in the forest enough to hear them all, what did Angus hate about all those villages?

There's a thoughtful silence and smirk from Angus like he thinks Rohan's making a joke, but Rohan insists he's serious. Angus decides to only half-joke back, glibly replying that it mostly had to do with all of them getting burned down.

Rohan's confused. The others are more surprised, and are able to ask Angus what he means. Angus says that each of those villages were attacked by Temrans. There was a war, after all.

Rohan's very confused.

Not about the war - yes, obviously, there was a war - but about being attacked. They never got attacked by Temrans.

Angus says yes, that's true. Because Angus got them out of the village when he'd heard enough rumours to predict an attack was coming. So then he'd get them both out of there.

The others start asking Angus what it was like, growing up like that. Rohan is quiet as Angus brushes it off and says it was fine, that's how it used to be by the border, and the trick was to keep moving deeper into Kells - towards the castle. In fact, that's how Angus met Rohan: he'd been leaving one village that'd just been attacked, and found this lump of a boy lying in the middle of a forest between the next one. And so a friendship was born.

Rohan says they were never attacked.

Angus agrees again, saying they always stayed a night ahead of it.

Rohan asks how Angus could know.

Angus says they could hear it from the forest.

Rohan says he never heard a thing.

Angus squints at him.

The stories, Angus explains, still kind of smirking because he thinks it's funny that he has to spell this out, were him trying to cover it up. He makes Rohan go through the ones he remembers. What did they have in common? Metal. Crashing on metal. Angus barely remembers any of them, but he's sure there would've been a few to cover any screams.

...

Rohan thinks.

In the awkward silence that Angus is trying to break for the others, Rohan brings up that one story about the wolves that were terrible at howling.

Angus grins. Exactly his point. One of them had to get some sleep, so it might as well have been Rohan.

The others start to chat excitedly about this, Ivar even alluding to Rohan being wrong about Angus looking after him, until Rohan interrupts again. He's beginning to frown.

Rohan asks what Angus means by 'getting some sleep'. He remembers Angus sleeping all the time back then. It was partly why it took so long to leave the forest.

Angus says he'd tell Rohan stories to get the boy to sleep, but Angus himself would be awake to keep an eye out for Temrans. They liked to attack at night back then, so night-time was all he'd been worried about. He'd take naps throughout the day to get some rest in. Which was fine. It helped with the hunger anyway.

Rohan calls Angus out on that, saying Rohan never took naps and he'd have even less to eat than Angus would. That earns him a look from Angus, so he explains how there'd be times where someone wouldn't stick to eating their fair share.

Angus is mildly outraged by the accusation, asking when that had ever happened. Back then, he clarifies. He sneaks a bit now 'cause Rohan always puts the good stuff in his half.

Rohan says that when they were boys, Angus would wait until Rohan was out and then help himself to the food. There'd barely be enough for one of them, and Angus decided to take the first bites anyway.

Angus squints at him.

Rohan frowns back.

Angus asks, starting to smile, like Rohan is playing a trick on him, if Rohan had ever seen Angus this so-called 'share'.

Rohan says no, and that was the point. Angus waited until Rohan had left.

Angus says yes, that was the point. He'd wait for Rohan to go, then wait for him to come back so Angus could lie. There was barely enough for one of them, after all, and Rohan would always make them split it evenly. Angus starts joking about it with the others, bragging about how he'd let Rohan split the food, then just hide his own share and give it back to Rohan at night. There they were, starving orphans, and Angus still had that boy eating twice a day. Better to spread it out like that, obviously.

Rohan doesn't believe this. He can't quite argue it, but he wants to. Eventually he says that if that's true, why would there be food to spare whenever Angus got taken away by the guards?

Angus laughs outright at that, but not at the part about food. The part about the guards. They were living in villages - what guards? Rohan's been living in a castle for too long.

Before Rohan can ask about that, Angus answers his first question with a question: what exactly did he get taken away for? Stealing, was it? And what did he steal? Oh, there was food to spare? Funny, that.

Garrett asks who took Angus to jail, then. Angus says there was no jail. Whatever villager he'd taken food from would find out, beat him half to death, and then he'd need a few days to come limping back to Rohan. He means it light-heartedly, but it's a little more bitter than the rest of what he's said, and the meaning of his words bring an unmistakable sense of pity to the table.

Except for Rohan, who is deeply confused and a tad angry.

Rohan asks if Angus is saying that he wouldn't eat, just give Rohan his food, then sleep through the hunger as they ran from village to village, always only barely ahead of the Temrans.

Angus says yup.

Angus says he's also surprised that Rohan's only figuring this out now. He thought Rohan had known from the beginning. Why else was he following Angus around?

Rohan says it's because they were friends.

Angus shrugs and says that's fair enough.

Rohan can't stomach what he's been hearing. This is news that's come crashing onto him, and Angus is happily chatting with the others and assuring them it was for the best - well, it was horrible, but at least it got them Draganta. Small price to pay for a kingdom, isn't it? And Angus gives a innocent bat of his eyes to the king and says, "You're welcome."

Which is when Rohan leaves the table. Not consciously, of course, but steadily. His ears are ringing at this point. He's not sure if he's cold or sweaty and he doesn't understand why he'd be either.

Rohan doesn't answer when he feels someone calling him. Ivar, he imagines. Although these feel like Garrett's hands leading him to sit. After... months, it seems, his vision - which had blurred some time ago - starts to clear again.

He sees Angus knelt over him. One hand gripping Rohan's shoulder. Angus looks worried and even scared, so different from the boy who'd only grinned in amazement that Rohan wasn't dead in a forest.

Angus had been talking. Rohan hadn't heard. Eventually, the sounds around him returned, and Angus was asking what was wrong. The others were there as well, in varying states of crowding around or stepping back to let Angus handle this.

In my last version of this daydream, Rohan and Angus talk this out right now. In this version, Rohan's more emotionally stunted than that. He apologizes for a making scene, says he isn't feeling well, and then excuses himself back to the hut.

Angus arrives later in the night. By how sheepishly he enters, it's clear to Rohan that Angus thinks he's the one who screwed up. He says as much, apologizing for lying, swearing he thought Rohan knew or puzzled it out by now.

And Rohan breaks.

I mean, truly breaks.

His entire plan was to be stoic about this. He was going to solemnly thank Angus for taking care of them as boys... and still even now, with how much work Angus did to keep him fed and with mended clothes...

But he breaks.

Because Angus was his best friend and was eight and never once complained about the truth of what there was to complain about. And Rohan had complained about that, calling Angus selfish. In hindsight, it was all so perfectly clear that Rohan felt like an ass for not figuring it out. Angus was right to assume he would. So now Rohan was left with an overwhelming guilt of having put that all onto a child, who'd been barely older than him and who'd needed someone's care, but was stuck with Rohan instead.

He cries so hard, he doesn't even realize he's crying into Angus' shoulder or that he's clutching onto his friend as tightly as he is. And Angus allows it to happen, in a flood of patience that never appears unless it's as dire as this. Rohan can feel himself being carefully handled until he's sat on the edge of his cot. It's there that Angus asks if Rohan wants to hear one more story. Rohan agrees by not disagreeing, and Angus sits Rohan back until he's propped up against the thief.

It's exactly like they used to be in those nights: Rohan lying against Angus, curled up under him, and Angus gently holding him there. It isn't perfect, since Rohan's bigger than Angus now, but it feels like a home that Rohan didn't earn.

Angus, in his half-dream of a voice that would never fail to have Rohan at ease, tells a story about a little boy named Schmangus.

Apparently, Schmangus had a hard life growing up. It'd been filled with war and hunger and cold and all the awful things those would do. He doesn't mince words, because he says Schmangus was terrified. Every corner had something new to fear, and he knew he had no choice but to face them anyway if he wanted to live.

One day, Schmangus found a corpse in a forest - only it wasn't a corpse, and it had a name: Schmohan. Schmangus and Schmohan - Rohan would've hit him if this dumb name wasn't so badly what he needed right now - became best friends and went everywhere together. Schmangus never asked him to, but Schmohan always followed along.

The trouble was that Schmohan had all the brains of a child who would drop dead in a forest, and was always trying to share food that wasn't enough to share, and fight wars with a dinky sword that hadn't helped against whatever had knocked Schmohan out in the first place. That meant it was up to Schmangus to keep them alive, and that meant Schmangus had to lie about it.

It wasn't so bad the first time. Or the second. By the third, it had become a pattern. And it got harder and harder to do. Schmangus felt like everywhere he went and everything he touched was cursed, and Schmohan hadn't asked for any of it. Schmangus wanted to keep that curse away from Schmohan for as long as he could; just like food, there was only so much peace to go around, and with how terrified Schmangus was, it only made sense to give that peace to Schmohan.

Stories turned the sounds of war and fire into a melody. Pockets turned a meager scrap into a meal for later. Sleep and water from the river, plus whatever he ate right from a villager's home, got Schmangus through most of it. The villagers didn't catch him often - sometimes Schmangus would just be hiding - but when they did, it was still worth the risk.

He only needed the peace to last until they were somewhere safe. He didn't know where 'safe' was, but now he was making an effort to look for it. Before, Schmangus would simply wander around. Now, he had Schmohan to care for.

Rohan says that Angus was only eight.

Angus says yes, he was, but this wasn't about him, it was about Schmangus, and also, shut it, he isn't done yet.

Schmangus felt a new kind of fear: one of failure. He knew he was only eight, and he knew he didn't know what he was doing. But if he could keep Schmohan from hating him for - shut it, Rohan - for dragging him all over the place like this, he'd be satisfied.

And he was. When they eventually made it to the castle, Schmohan had simply teased him about living in there. It was the best thing Schmangus had heard. It was like everything he'd gone through was worth it. Maybe he'd gone through it alone, but Rohan would always try to split everything - he meant Schmohan, shut up Rohan - and now one of them had enough of a peaceful life to share.

The story used to end there, Angus says, but there's a new ending to it now. Rohan is utterly relaxed into Angus, and at any other time, would have been dozing off already. He asks Angus for the new ending, and Angus provides.

Schmohan, as he'd said, was the sort of boy who'd fight a tree and have it topple over and crush him, so of course he grew up and never figured out any of this until Schmangus told it to him outright. But Schmohan wasn't a fool. Schmohan had become the best warrior of a kingdom named Schmells - Rohan did shove him a little for that - and had figured out many things, even if he still held a spoon like an angry rat - a lot of a shove from Rohan - so it had to mean that Schmangus was very good at lying.

Even on the nights where there were no sounds of war, Schmangus would lie awake worrying that Schmohan had enough. If there'd been any way for him to know that fifteen years later, Schmohan would still be looking back on those days as peaceful journeys with his friend, never aware of attacks, thinking food would appear by itself...

... that boy would've slept with a smile on his face, knowing he'd saved his friend from so much, so completely, his friend would long for those nights. He'd remember the stories as stories alone, and remember what they'd been about. He'd be happy. Still, obviously, very hungry and cold and awake, but happy for what it did.

Rohan asks if it's because Schmells got Schagmanta.

Angus says that's a dumb name, and everyone knows the champion of Schmells is called Footsy O'Bigtooth, and no, that's not why. It was worth it for Rohan alone. And he knows that isn't much, what with how upset Rohan is, but Angus was eight and trying his best. He would've done everything differently if he'd had a way to see their fate, but he didn't. So he doesn't regret doing what he could.

Especially not when it brought them here.

It sits in Rohan's mind for hours. Angus doesn't budge him, save to settle them better on the cot. Eventually, Rohan hears the steady, telltale breath of sleep brushing the top of his head.

He very slowly and carefully chances moving to look up. There, as it'd been in the story, was the softest smile on Angus' face.

Rohan curled himself back under his brother's chin, and went to sleep as well.

[dairy-farmer]

Tim fucks Jim Gordon sometimes. Why? Because the man's miserable. Middle-aged. Divorced. Never sleeps well bc there's always criminals runnin' around in Gotham. Tim wanted, no, he HAD to help. Timmy is very caring & has a good heart. Besides, Jim is a friend of Bruce. Tim looked at Jim and was like "awww poor bby :((( he needs some pussy right now :((" and then he unzipped the crotch line of his costume and turned around, fully presenting his plump ass and pink cunt.

Jim had a weird look on his face. Like he was confused or something. Really? Is he so old that he doesn't know anymore what to do in situation like this?

Tim wiggled his ass a few time, sultry presenting his glistening, swollen pussy before Jim finally started to unbuckle his belt. Soon after that the Gotham's dark night was filled with Tim's deep moans.

Jim's a gentleman, so after the whole thing was over he ate Tim's pussy very tenderly. Like he was tasting the world's most delicious dessert. When Tim's kitty was clean Jim kissed his clit one last time and said "thank you sweetheart, that was exactly what I needed".

They fuck after that 1-2 times in a month. Jim isn't young anymore, his joints and spine hurt so most of the time Tim is doing the work, riding him in a reverse cowgirl.

They actually did it completely naked once, when Jim invited him to his house. And well... Tim didn't like it. Firstly, Jim isn't fit & he's got a belly pooch. Secondly, he doesn't shave. Like.. at all. Pubes on his balls scratched Tim's delicate folds. They did it in missionary position and it was nice actually, Jim murmuring how pretty and wet he is & his cock touching all the right places. But Tim was waiting for the moment when Jim spills deep inside him and he will be finally free to go home.

ANON I LOVE THIS SO MUCH I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES I'VE REREAD THIS!!!!!!!

just the imagery of little nymphet tim fucking much older, grizzled jim gordon!!

tim is doing it because batman trusts jim, works closely with him- so his health is something that matters to tim. and sure he's always known that being comissioner of the gcpd was a more stressful job than most but...jim had been looking more and more...frazzled as of late. the commissioner hasn't had an easy life, most days he had everything from rogues, to gangsters, to run-of-the-mill corrupt politicians barking at his ass.

he hasn't had much luck with love since his divorce from barbara kean. jim's decade-old affair with a fellow officer was something that politicians and journalists loved bringing up when it came time for reelection and given the recent appointment of a new mayor tim was certain that the rehashing of that old mistake was probably what had poor jim gordon all down in the dumps.

good thing he had tim there to help him out of the clear rut he'd fallen into.

tim was a very small robin, it was something other officers and vigilantes had commented on before. but never jim, and tim is happy about that.

jim has no qualms with how his body dwarfs tim as he bends him over near the bat-signal and fucks into tim's wet little pussy.

tim has made a habit of keep it nice and sopping. bruce is a big fan of taking tim in the back seat of the batmobile before returning to the cave after a very long night. bruce's cock is much bigger than jim's and he fucks harder too so tim is pleasantly surprised by how much he likes jim pressing into his little cunt.

he's careful with tim, never pressing down on the back of his head and suffocating him into the concrete. his cock is a nice length and fills tim's pussy perfectly, something they both appreciate.

jim is also a fan of changing positions. when tim is on his front he can rest his cheek on his hands and let out occasional soft moans when jim hits somewhere really nice. if he's on his back, jim keeps a big hand on tim's tummy, splaying his fingers and occasionally rubbing at tim's clit with his thumb so tim orgasms faster. if jim fucks tim on his side, he hooks tim's leg over his shoulder and pounds much deeper into tim's cunt, tim is pretty sure jim is mostly fucking his womb when they fuck like that.

tim likes having sex with jim, it's nice and it feels good. especially afterward when jim kisses tim's puffed up cunt and tongue his clit. jim is a gentleman in a way other people isn't because he makes sure tim is all cleaned up of cum so there won't be a mess in his underwear when he returns home to shower.

tim purrs when jim fucks his tongue into his abused hole and leaves his cunt pleasantly wet and tingly.

before they started fucking jim used to have a junior officer of montoya accompany him to the roof, but when he knows it'll just be robin, he makes sure to lock the door behind him and carry a key so the two of them will have alone time.

the roof of the gcpd doesn't carry cameras as a courtesy to batman and surrounding buildings are too short for anyone to catch sight of the commissioner and robin fucking.

he and jim don't fuck very often. only twice a month because it takes a while for jim to get sufficiently pent up. when you reach his age, the equipment doesn't always want to work right. tim had once curiously asked why they only did it once and jim had just let out a soft chuckle and apology for it.

"i'm not as young as i used to be," he'd inform tim, scratching at his beard while pulling his underwear back up and buckling his pants while tim stared at him with big, curious eyes and a pussy full of cum.

after a while, kneeling on concrete and staying bent over for while just becomes too hard of the commissioner's old bones and creaky joints. tim knows that jim had enough injuries to rival batman so coos in sympathy when he hears all the cracks from his body once he's up. tim takes to riding him more after that.

jim likes it, letting out appreciative groans and moans as tim rides him fast and hard- just like how batman likes. when he feels the cock inside him twitching, tim always makes sure to sink down all the way to the base so that every drop of cum will fill him up.

tim likes how jim pats tim's sides and squeezes his little tush.

but even like that, jim's back creaks.

so he invites tim over to his house for the first and only time.

it's the first time anything but tim's little cunt is exposed.

jim mumurs lowly and whispers appreciative words of tim's little body. he even spends a few minutes kissing and sucking on tim's tits. tim shivers at the prickly brush of his five o clock shadow. usually tim only feels it against his inner thighs when jim eats him out.

jim also takes the opportunity to strip down until he's in nothing but a pair of brown crew socks. his hands are massive with how they hold tim's hips while tugging him to be on top as jim falls back onto his bed.

jim lives alone, he has ever since barbara moved out, so he assures tim he can be as loud as he wants.

it's the first time he kisses tim, cupping tim's soft jaw and licking into the seam of his mouth, moaning as tim willingly opened for him.

tim had to tap into his training to hold back his cringe at the taste. bitter black coffee and smoky cigars that were heavy on his breath. they smelt like the ones his dad used to smoke. jim's mustache is bushy and tim's nose tickles as jim tilts his head and drags tim down to settle on top of him and slot his cock against tim's spread open cunt.

tim fucking jim in a reverse cowgirl is the only way to be able to get out of having to keep kissing him. plus staying pressed to jim's chest is...uncomfortable.

tim's little tits are mashed to jim's chest and feel the full expanse of his hairy chest. he's like tim's teddy bear. he's just covered with hair. maybe tim's a little spoiled because everyone he knows shaves or waxes to prevent leaving dna behind as well as to more efficiently clean their bodies when gunk or goo gets spilled on them.

but tim still doesn't like the feeling. it's prickly and it's everywhere like a forest. all over jim's chest, arms, thighs, and legs. the only parts that aren't are his hands, cock, and part of his face, the parts that were exposed when jim would fuck him.

jim is grinding his cock against tim's heat, pressing the head briefly inside and coating it in tim's wetness before letting it pop back out with a wet sound. he's moaning lowly and humping tim and tim can't help but feel that small blossom of sympathy that first had him unzipping his crotch slit and offering his warm, wet cunt to gordon.

'he really needs this.'

tim tries to do it like he normally does, hard and fast until he's panting and his pussy is tingling. how jim likes it.

but jim wants to change positions. he fucks tim on his knees while holding his hips in what tim knows is called 'doggy style'. he has tim face him while laying on their sides and holds tim open by keeping a firm grip on his leg and keeping him cracked open like a book.

jim likes that one because he likes how deep he can get. he pants especially hard while furiously thrusting his cock into tim's pussy and breaths ashy cigar smoke breath onto tim's face.

and despite his reservations about his hairy body, tim does enjoy missionary. with jim on top and tim's legs on either side of him. jim fills him up so wonderfully. it's like tim's pussy was made to fit jim beacuse the two of them fit like two puzzle pieces. tim lets out soft whines as he feels the head of jim's cock batter his cervix and walls. tim doesn't even mind how jim's soft stomach, and slight gut press against tim and let out audible slaps when he thrusts in.

tim is clenching around the cock inside him, moaning and whining as jim stares down and whispers about how pretty tim is.

the pillows behind tim's head smell like an ashtray and tim hopes the whines he let out are interpreted as pleasured.

jim groans and murmurs how he's so tight and wet, how jim loves fucking his pussy so much. how tim really has the best pussy jim's ever had, so wet and sweet and sensitive. and his clit, the cutest little clit in the world and jim always makes sure to give it a goodbye kiss when they're done. but he especially loves how tim is so good at taking his cum for him, how tim's pussy just sucks all that cum right up and batman is so lucky to have you, so blessed-

tim feels his insides get splashed with hot, thick warmth and whines as jim grunts over him, cursing lowly and fucking stuttered thrusts into tim.

tim wiggles slightly where he's impaled on jim's dick, humming and spreading his fingers in a 'V' alongside where his cunt is split open on the cock inside him. it's wet and tim can feel the droplets of cum escaping out of the sides.

jim always cums a lot and tim likes that.

it means his kitty gets eaten out for longer.

but tim really wants to just go home. jim is slumped over him, sweating from exertion, panting black coffee and cigar breaths, and making tim's trembling body uncomfortable with the hair sticking to him.

tim says something about not wanting batman to realize he's not on his usual route and jim is so out of breath he can't eat tim out. so instead he stuffs his thick fingers into him and fucks him deep, spreading tim's wetness and massaging his clit until tim lets out a little cry and clamps down on the fingers in him.

the next time jim proposes they return to his home so he can send tim's off with a sore cunt, tim 'regretfully' declines and instead rides jim on the roof, right next to the quiet humming and radiating heat of the batsignal.

[purplesurveys]

1931

Do you have a laptop or desktop? Laptop. I never had a desktop.

Do you own any television series box sets? No. I always saw them at CD/DVD stores (when they still existed....) and because they cost so much they always were placed behind the cashier; nowhere near spots that would make them easily accessible. In any case, they were always too expensive and we weren't the most well-off family growing up, so I viewed it as a luxury thing that I didn't need more than anything.

When did you last receive a hug and who was it from? Tuesday, Angela. I had to come to her house so I can cry to her about work. And finally tell her what's been going on with me, since I've gone radio silence from everyone since her birthday last month.

Do you plan your outfits ahead of time? These days, not anymore. I don't have the luxury of time to.

Have you ever spent the night in jail? Never. I once stayed at a police station til midnight for a journalism assignment, but that's the closest I've gotten to being 'in jail.'

Do you have long hair or short hair? Long.

How much makeup do you wear on a daily basis? I just have the basics down so my face can look cleaner and whatever acne I have at the time won't look too prominent - BB cream, a bit of foundation, and blush.

Do you have weak upper body strength? Idk I'm generally just weak hahahaha. I don't work out, and I easily feel exhausted/dizzy from carrying heavy stuff.

Do you think hugs are awkward? They can, I guess, in situations like when you're going for a hug but then the only person only has their arm extended for a handshake or high-five...but that seldom happens. I've had far more good hugs than the awkward.

Do you think facial hair is gross? No.

Would you ever dye your hair an unnatural color? I've done it a couple of times.

What is your favorite band of all time? Paramore.

Are there any paintings on your wall? Nope.

What do you think is the best smell in the world? Seafood.

How old is your oldest sibling? I'm the eldest sibling; I'm 26. The second-eldest is my sister, at 24.

Do you enjoy dancing? I appreciate it as an art form, if anything. But I don't dance. I also can't, lol.

Can you handle scary movies? I can, but as a general rule I like watching them with at least one other person as it's just more fun that way.

Would you date someone 5 years older than you? Probably not. 31 sounds daunting.

Have you ever been to California? Did you like it? No.

Do you like deviled eggs? I've never tried them but I've always wanted to; they look delicious. It's virtually unheard of here though so it's never available anywhere.

What is your favorite horror movie? The Shining.

Has a little kid ever fallen asleep on your lap before? I can't remember if anyone has. I don't think so.

What foods can you absolutely not eat? Fruits.

Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Hot. And usually, the more stressed I feel, the hotter I need the shower to be.

Have you ever taken part in a threesome? Nopes.

Have you ever been to Disneyland or Disney World? No.

Have you ever been the victim of a crime? I've had a handful of men catcall and lunge at me as a joke/prank/to make me scared on purpose. Idk if those are technical crimes but they definitely felt like one :)

What colour are your brother’s eyes? Dark brown, almost black.

Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? I'm sure I have but I can't name one off the top of my head.

How many friends do you have on Facebook? 669.

Do you regularly check anyone’s profile online? No.

Is there anything unusual about your house? Ours is the only balcony in the neighborhood that's been repurposed to be an additional bedroom. That's probably what's 'unusual' in our local context, but idk if there's anything generally unique to the house.

What is your favourite type of cookie? Chocolate chip.

Have you ever taken care of a newborn baby? I've watched over my newborn cousin to ensure nothing unsafe happens while the elders do errands/chores around the house. But if they needed to be fed or their diapers changed or whatnot, my grandma would take over.

Do you snore when you sleep? When I'm extremely tired, apparently.

Who do you (romantically) love? Nobody.

Do you wish you could go back and change anything about your childhood? I'd remove the bits I couldn't control, like the family's problem with alcohol. I feel like I wouldn't be so emotionally detached today if that didn't happen.

What would your mom do if you told her you were pregnant? As much as she would love a grandchild, if she found out I got pregnant outside of a marriage I think she would put her anger and disappointment and Jesus Child Is #1-ness first.

Do you think you have nice feet? They're okay. They just have like 1-2 scars from childhood falls but they're fine.

Where did you get your name? My parents just like my first and second names.

What’s the most unique or exotic food you’ve tried? List would be very long because Philippine street food in and of itself is already considered 'exotic.' But if anything, I guess crocodile sisig from Palawan? We don't have crocodile meat in Manila, so it definitely felt 'new' when I saw it as a menu option.

Who was your first online friend? I made a few Twitter friends during the EARRRLY Beyhive days. Like, 2008 – Beyhive wasn't even called Beyhive yet. I was very young, though, and in retrospect shouldn't have been anywhere near Twitter at the time; and I also don't remember anyone's names anymore.

What’s a condition you have that you haven’t been officially diagnosed with? There's definitely some sort of mental funk going on in there...maybe GAD? It manifests in my day-to-day life too much and affects the way I go about...everything for me not to think anything of it.

Do people tell you you have cold hands? This is not at all a common sentiment I receive.

When was the last time you held an umbrella? Last month.

Do you feel that the shape of the pasta alters the taste? Not for me. If anything, it just affects my overall experience of liking or disliking the meal – like how I veer away from penne because it feels like I'm just eating air; or how I enjoy fettuccine far more than spaghetti/linguine in terms of mouthfeel.

In games, do you like to roleplay as good or bad? Just good or like neutral.

Is there an instrument you don't like the sound of? Not in particular, no.

Would you rather be a kangaroo or a sea turtle? Sea turtle. So I can understand their experiences even better in terms of living in polluted and plastic-filled waters.

Do you like to get ready in the bathroom or the bedroom? Bedroom.

What's your favourite Coldplay song? Charlie Brown makes me feel so happy and light when I hear it.

Do you have a favourite insect? No.

What colour is your ceiling? White.

Do you own a scooter? I don't.

When did you last play a Mario game? Safe to say it's been within the last 12 months.

Are your bedroom curtains long or short? They're on the shorter side, which I've been meaning to replace precisely because I prefer them long.

Have you ever attempted to sculpt something from ice? No.

Have you ever had to wear an oxygen mask? I don't think so. No, I can't remember ever having to.

What’s your favorite thing you own that YOU made? The bracelets I made to give out to fans at Yoongi's concert were the cutest thing ever, I'm not even going to be demure about it HAHA. I spent like 3 weekends straight making them, and I must have made anywhere between 150-200 different kinds.

[TW: EATING DISORDERS/SIMILAR] Have you ever starved yourself? Mhm, in the aftermath of my breakup many years ago I fell into this path whether intentionally or otherwise.

Has anyone ever had to physically restrain you from doing something? I think so. Situations like this come very hazily to me precisely because I don't wat them to be part of my memories, being aggressively touched and such.

Do you like the pretzel M&Ms? I don't think I've tried them, actually.

Have you ever been accused of thinking you’re too good for something? No.

Have you ever stolen someone’s boyfriend? Nope.

Do you have a locket? What’s the picture inside of it? No, I don't have one. How nice would it be to receive a locket from someone? it feels a bit deflating that no one's ever given me one, now that I think of it. A locket isn't exactly something you 'ask' for as a gift, too, so it really depends on people and how much they tie you to their idea of sentimentality.

How do you react when you feel embarrassed about something? I just crack a joke to move past it.

Have you ever tried to "fix" someone? Yes.

When’s the last time you were carried by someone? No one does this to me.

Are you in possession of any currency that isn’t used in your country? Yeah, I have like 70k baht that I never got to convert back to PHP.

Did anyone witness your last kiss? No.

Do you have any younger siblings? I do.

Are you cool with them, or do they annoy you to no end? I am very close to my sister. There is no existing relationship with my brother.

Last person you flipped off? I can't remember haha but I know I did it very recently.

Anyone who’s way over-protective of you? Nope.

Have you ever been to a rave? A few.

[fiveloml]

five hargreeves x reader. “ 'have we met?' y/n, i've fallen for you in every timeline i've been in. “ [ gender neutral reader. ]

─ ✧ season 3 spoilers ! in the new timeline the hargreeves ended up in, five finds himself facing a familiar face.

─ ✧ WOOOH the first post did really well :)!! thank u everyone ♡♡ also cw for swearing! ( though im pretty sure its like one word lmao )

[ flashback. ]

“ five!- just go! “ you yelled as you ran, knowing he couldn't hold onto you while he had ben on his back. the kugelblitz was getting closer and you couldn't keep up to fives running speed. “ no!- i am not leaving you! “ he screamed back, looking at you for a moment as he could see the kugelblitz was just behind you. as five stopped you managed to finally catch up and tell him one last time;

“ i love you, take care of my brother ben, okay? “

pushing him away as you were taken by the bright light. five instinctively blinked away and gasps when he's safe from danger for just a moment. “ damn it all! “ he yells, slamming his fists onto the ground as ben groggily wakes up from passing out.

“ where are my siblings? “ ben asks with a groan, fully opening his eyes to see five with a defeated look. tears falling to the ground as you and fei were nowhere to be seen.

“ ben.. ben they're gone. “

[ flashback end. ]

its been a few days since the hargreeves went their seperate ways, five has been having his good and bad days and tonight was a bad one. “ those assholes really left without saying anything. “ five mutters, walking towards the coffee place he often visited whenever he felt stressed.

the bell by the door rang as five entered, automatically sitting on one of the seat by the counter. “ black coffee and french toast. “ he says monotonous, “ its you again. “ five looks up to one of the waitresses that handled the coffee place. he never told her his name, but they knew each other decently enough.

“ y'know.. we've got a new member, seems about your age. “ she smiles, handing over a paper with his order to someone who worked in the kitchen. “ that would matter to me.. why? “ five says with his head facing down at the counter, he wasn't interested in love anymore. not after what happened with you in the last timeline.

the waitress smiles, “ they seem like your type. “ she winked, going off to the back as another pair of footprints walked out right after her. “ 'for the kid who comes in here wearing a suit' thats a silly name. “ the voice infront of him chuckled, but five suddenly tensed up the second he heard it.

he looked up and his widened in disbelief, he was looking at you. “ y/n? “ he managed to choke out of his speechless daze, you looked at him and blinked. “ yes? have we met before? you don't seem very familiar.. “ you tell him but five bit his bottom lip to shut him up for what he wanted to say.

“ 'have we met?' y/n, i've fallen for you in every timeline i've been in. “

“ no no we haven't, your co worker mentioned your name “ five forced a smile, taking his cup of coffee into his hands as his reflection looked back at him ever so faintly. “ thank you. “ he murmurs, taking a sip as you give him a smile. one he's missed for so long.

“ you have a nice smile, did anyone tell you?" five blurted out, not even knowing what he was thinking at this point. you blinked slightly wide-eyed at him before letting out a laugh. “actually.. not often do people compliment my smile, so i appreciate it. “ you giggle, five knew this a long time ago, but he wanted to know if you had any similarities to the 'you' he used to know.

the sound of rain falling onto the roof caught the attention of both of you, you sigh at this and look at your watch. “ oh! seems like its about time i head back. “ you say, taking off your apron as five silently watched. “ how will you head home? its raining like the world is ending over there. “ five joked with a chuckle, though the joke was interesting due to the things hes gone through.

“ my... partner.. will be picking me up. “ you say with slight hesitation in your voice. five nodded nonchalantly though his heart shattered quietly. “ partner huh.. “ he looked at you waving goodbye and entered a mans car, driving off as five sat there speechless.

“ no matter what timeline.. i really can't have you, huh? “ he says tearfully, deciding to eat his emotions away as he took a bite of his french toast.

[threepointseven]

hi there i hope your having an awesome day! may i request a gorou x reader angst fic where the reader is kokomi’s sister and gorou and the reader liked each other for the longest time but once he met kokomi he fell in love with her and her the same? i’m kinda going through the situation rn soo yea lol, but if not that’s completely okay too! have a great day and remember to take care of yourself <3

🌺summary!🌺- gorou falls inlove with your sister kokomi, he’s been your crush for how many years now though..?

Type- fanfic 🌻

Flowers included!🌼= gorou x reader, gorou x kokomi

Note🍀= i tried my best! So tired rn but i love doing requests either way, makes me so happy to see people requesting <3

Genshin masterlist

💐Your bouquet has been delivered <3💐

You played with gorou’s bright locs as he laid his head on your shoulder, he was so pretty. His ears twitched turning red along with his cheeks as you both embraced the moment, the air was still yet filled with love.

Its one of those days where there’s no chaos, no vision hunt decree drama, no competitions, just love.

You have always been looked down upon by your family members, as your older sister, kokomi sangonomiya was assigned to become the young divine priestess of watatsumi island.

You've always had to compete with her, it seemed like she always wins no matter how hard you try. No matter how many more tears you have shed than her she has always been 10 steps ahead.

So you cherish the days where you and your lifelong crush gorou, get to sit in silence and bask in one another. It takes your mind off your sister, the people comparing you to her, the work, the stress.

You were initially supposed to take gorou to see your family today but somehow you got stuck cuddling with the adorable fox.

“Gorou, we should go now.”

“Mmhm.. we should”

He chuckles before standing up and walking with you to your estate, a shrine estate located in the most beautiful place in watatsumi island. You stepped onto the estate with gorou next to you, his eyes lit up and his ears straightened at the scenery. Your smiles were interrupted by your older sister, Kokomi sangonomiya walking out of the estate with a soft smile on her face.

“Y/n, and you must be gorou?”

Her beauty blended in with watatsumi’s scenery as her blue eyes put the fox in a trance. You somehow expected this. Who wouldnt get hypnotized by her beauty? Her smile never faltered as she led you two to the inside of the main house.

You followed her respectfully glancing at gorou once in a while, he on the other hand was caught in a haze as his eyes focused on the swing and sway of your sisters hair. He looked like a lost puppy who had finally found his owner, and the face that said “ive fallen in love at first sight” stung you to the core.

As you sat down talking to your family you notices gorou’s eyes glued to Kokomi

“You two seem to be getting along well!”

Your mother mentioned as gorou chuckles, blushing like a little kid.

“Ah, well gorou seems to be a great person after all”

The way that her voice harmonized with the air and her smile lightened the room made you glare down, jealousy overwhelmed you as you saw the two sitting close to each other.

The envy waltzed to and fro around your head,

Why? Why does she have to be so perfect? I've liked him for archons knows how long, why... why can't i just be the one he looks at?!

The anger tasted bitter on your tongue as he followed her like a little puppy on a leash, you held back the anger inside you as your parents showered kokomi in compliments in front of you,

“Ah yes kokomi the soon-to-be divine priestess!”

“Such a beautiful thing isnt she! Wouldnt be surprised if you are already head over heels young man!”

The fox chuckles blushing as he joked with your parents. It felt sickening,

I don't wanna be jealous of her. She’s my sister... Why am i so jealous. She deserves it more than me anyway.

But why cant you help the envy running through your veins?

You were like a silent ghost seated at the corner of the room while Kokomi wrapped gorou around her pretty little finger. It wouldnt go too far right? You’d have gorou back right?

“Well Y/N you have to understand that your sister needs more attention. After all she has all this divine priestess work piled up! Cmon Y/N dont be such an attention seeker.”

The words that came out of your mother's mouth made your heart drop as you joked about being invisible at the dinner table. Would you always have to compete with kokomi? Would it always have to be a competition of affection with her? Not only for gorou but for your own parents?

You hated the feeling, who even has the nerve to dislike kokomi. A fraction of your mind felt ashamed of being jealous and hating the sister that’s been by your side smiling at you since birth.

But it really was no more than crystal clear who was superior between the two, to the entire population of Watatsumi island and to your parents, even to gorou.

Week after week, the attempts at small romantic touches failed as Kokomi put him in a daydream with her blue eyes.

‘Why doesnt he look at me the way he used to?’

Dates skipped, hangouts ditched, all cause he suddenly had a role as the divine priestess’s adorable obedient little assistant

Its always been me and gorou. Why did she have to come into the picture.

“A disgusting feeling”

It kept you up at night as you stared at the ceiling,

youll get him back right? And you two will go back to being the shy sappy couple, right?

You reassured yourself, tears falling down your cheeks as you watch kokomi putting her tongue on gorou’s, the hearts in the fox’s eyes told you exactly what you needed to know.

Gorou is her’s now. He’s no longer yours.

Requests open <3 ily all

[egg-on-the-run]

Massage

The turtle's s/o is exhausted, they help make things better with a massage.

(she/her pronouns used)

Leonardo

She's already asleep in his bed when he comes home from patrol. Usually she waits for him on the couch, even when she was tired, but Splinter had specifically told him she was already asleep, warned him to do his best not to wake her up.

She must be exhausted.

He tiptoes in as quietly as he could after his shower, spots her lying flat on his bed: not tucked in, just lying atop his blankets on her stomach. She had been too tired to lift the sheets.

He can see how tense she is, can see the way how even in her sleep her shoulders still rise to her ears, how her finger twitches with an anxious need to keep moving. Her face scrunched up slightly, adorable, but he would rather it be relaxed and soft.

He's careful and slow moving her onto the bed properly, still not setting her under the covers just yet. He's even more careful when he straddles her legs, keeps his weight off them almost entirely. His hands start at her lower back, kneading into her very softly.

She jolts and eyes snap open, "What are you doing?"

"I uh, I was giving you a massage, you look tense, even in your sleep."

"Oh," She relaxes, "You're an angel, just scared me a little." Her head hits the pillow again, already drifting off.

He tries once more, hands softly pressing into her lower back. She lets out a breath of air, sinking further into the mattress. He continues, travelling further up her spine. Usually he hates the sound of bones cracking (all of his brothers teased him constantly about it), but tonight he was quite happy to hear little pops coming from her spine. He especially didn't mind when she gave a little moan afterwards.

His hands travel further up towards her shoulders, kneading and rolling his wrists into the dozens of knots in her back. Her shoulders were so tense that she whined whenever he was too rough. He had to be gentle, working them out slowly.

By the time he was finished, she was sleepily trying to reach his hand with her eyes closed.

"Cuddle me," She mumbled as she found his hand, "Pretty please? I've got tomorrow off."

"Of course," He replied, moving to help her under the sheets, "That was the plan anyway."

He pulled her tight against his chest, hearing her bones crack once more as she melted like putty in his hands. He kissed her forehead.

"Thank god you've got tomorrow off, I'll let you sleep in as long as you want." He sighed, relaxing himself, "I'll make sure the lair is quiet."

She didn't hear a word of what he said, she was already fast asleep.

Raphael

Raphael was the king of tension. He wasn't like Michelangelo where little bothered him, or like Donatello who had those random self care days, or even like Leonardo who learned to de-stress through meditation. Oh no, Raphael carried tension like a mother with a clingy child: pulling on his shoulders, weighing him down and making him irritated.

It came with the whole anger thing.

So there have been countless times where she has used her knuckles to work the knots out of his shoulders. It was no easy task, especially when she had to use most of her body weight to actually get through each and every knot.

But she'd do it a hundred times more if he needed her to, and Raphael knew that, knew it all to well.

So when he sees her already grumbling to herself at the latest email that just came through to her laptop, when he see her shoulders rising to her ears in frustration and hands balling into fists, he knew he had to do the same thing for her as she had done countless times for him.

She jumps when he first puts his hands on her shoulders, but recognises the warm touch shortly after.

"What are you doing?" She asked, one hand reaching up to rest on top of his, she kept her attention glued to her screen, "I have a lot of work to do, Raphie."

"I know," He said, beginning to knead into her shoulders, "Just a massage, you look stressed."

"Oh with that lovely email, I am more than stressed."

She's always had a sharp tongue, never directed it to him (never intentionally) but he knows her patience is wearing thin and work certainly wasn't helping. He thought about taking his hands away entirely, not wanting to pester her; but she ran her thumb across his hand, typed with only one set of fingers, and Raphael remembered how often she did this for him when his patience was thinner than a piece of paper.

He pressed his hands into her shoulders again, watched as her head leaned back and body moved with his hands. He knew the feeling, when the knots were so tight they just hurt. He continued to work his hands into her shoulders, and slowly it seemed to stop hurting and the tension started to melt away. She closed her eyes, pushed her laptop away from her and just let herself be for a moment.

"Those big ol' hands of yours," She said, voice more like a breath, "So gentle with me."

"Not like you, using your damn elbows to get the knots out."

"But does it work?" She laughed.

He chuckled, "Of course it works, you're the best at this."

"Oh I dunno, you might give me a run for my money, this feels like heaven right now." Her head rolled to the side, turning slightly to kiss his hand, "Take me to bed Raphie, please."

With one final squeeze he let go, moving his arms to wrap around her waist and carry her to bed. Work wasn't important, this was.

Donatello

The lair was far too noisy, Donatello's lab was far too bright. Everything was just too much, all at once. Even as she sat on his desk, the reflection of his computer in his glasses from behind her was glaring into her eyes. He sat between her legs, arms around her waist and rambling about — god, she didn't even know at this point. She'd spaced out long ago, too overwhelmed to even try and catch up.

He moved his head at he spoke, Donatello was always an expressive fellow, and the light bounced off his glasses right into her eyes. She squinted, scrunched her entire face up and groaned.

"You have a migraine," He said plainly, "I have some painkillers in my drawer—"

"I took some earlier, they just haven't kicked in yet." She frowned.

She looked in pain, Donatello hated to see her like this, hated when there wasn't anything he could do.

He reached up and cupped her face, "Have you had enough water today?"

"Yeah," She mumbled, "Been using that new water bottle I got."

"When did you last eat?"

"Went out for dinner with some coworkers."

Donnie hummed, not knowing what else could cause her such a migraine. They usually had a reason behind them, she didn't usually just get them randomly. He wondered if she'd be on her phone too much, not to sound like Splinter, but she's been talking to him for the past hour or so, her eyes should have rested by now.

She pushed her cheek into his hand, letting his hand squish the chub on her face. Donatello squeezed gently, rubbing her cheeks in a circular motion.

"What are you doing?" She asked, voice muffled by his hands.

"Massaging your face," He replied, moving to knead her cheekbones with his thumbs, "Maybe it's tension that's brought this on."

"Maybe..."

He moved his thumbs over the bridge of her nose and followed the shape of her eyebrows, he repeated the action a few times before gently rubbing her temples.

"You're really good at this..." She murmured, eyes closed and jaw slack. Her face was no long scrunched up, but instead so completely relaxed she looked as though she was already asleep. Donatello persisted, using his thumbs to move the tension away from her face. His hands moved to her hair, grasping tightly and then releasing, he tickled his fingers through her locks: slowly so as not to pull on any tangles.

By the time he'd moved back to her jaw, he was pretty sure she'd fallen asleep where she sat. He smiled softly at her, kissed her forehead, and carried her off to bed.

He needed an early night as well.

Michelangelo

She had been on her feet all day, running errands for a coworker who had recently hurt their leg. Said coworker was fine, and would be perfectly capable of putting of such errands until their leg was better (really, Mikey huffed, using his girlfriend like a servant). But she could never just say no, and even after she'd ran around the city collecting bits and bops, dropping off items and buying groceries, her coworker hadn't even offered her so much as a sit down before he not-so-subtly led her out of his apartment.

So she came stumbling to the lair, exhausted and drained beyond compare and ready to collapse but still so eager to see her darling Mikey. He was in the shower when she arrived, she knew because Raphael told her, and because she could hear his singing before she'd even arrived.

She dragged herself to his bed, kicking her shoes off and not even caring where she left them. She collapsed to her knees before she could crawl under the blankets, lying surprisingly comfortably on the floor.

"Hey, hey angel! What are you doing down here?" Mikey's cheerful voice woke her up, along with a little shake of her shoulder. "We snoozing on the floor now?"

"So tired..." She mumbled, eyes fluttering closed, "Carry me to bed."

"No problem, the whole five feet distance it is." Mikey chuckled. He picked her up, sliding her onto his bed, careful not to bump her head on Raphael's top bunk. "All those errands huh? Guy owes you a thanks at least."

"Jackass kicked me out before I could even sit down at his place," She glared at the mattress above her, "So rude."

"Uh, totes rude? My girl did all that for him and he doesn't even let you sit down? Jackass is a very nice way to describe him." Mikey smiled at her, "Your poor little feet must be sore after all that running around."

"I think my ankles are swollen."

"Just a little." He teased, moving to sit between her legs. He took one of her legs and squeezed firmly along her calves. His hands slid down to her ankles and he frowned: they were slightly swollen, he had only been joking but turns out he was right. He rolled her ankle for her, moved her foot so that it pointed and then helped stretch her heel. He squeezed her calf one more time before moving on to her other leg.

"You're so sweet," She babbled, "Thank you for taking care of me."

"No problem babe, somebody has to," He laughed, "And it's not hard work."

She smiled at him, eyes struggling to stay open. He smiled back at her, not that she could see him, and softly told her to go to sleep; he'd take care of her.

[evafrechette]

It’s a Match

↠ yoongi x jimin | smut | hookup au | 18+ | 3.4K

↠ Summary: Loneliness can make you do questionable things. Like signing up to a dating app to suck the cock of a stranger.

↠ Warnings: deep throating, public blowjobs, cum sharing, kind of a social media au - but not, drunk Yoongi, flirting, masturbation, gagging.

Yoongi never thought he'd be desperate enough to download the app on his phone, but here he was at 11:37 on a Friday night, finger hovering over the install button.

"Ahhh fuck it.."

He clicked and watched as the app downloaded and installed on his phone. He never thought it would get to this point. He'd been single for years. Preferring his own company, he never found it necessary to date. People annoyed him, too loud, too intrusive, too manipulative. So he remained alone. But 4 years is a long time to be on your own and he was starting to grow tired of his own hand. Plus he'd watched evey fucking video there was on his favourite porn site a year ago. That should have been the sign he needed to get laid, but his dumb ass wallowed in misery for another 12 months and that's why he's here now, creating a profile in the hopes of getting fucked this weekend.

A frown formed on Yoongi's face, he had been scrolling through profiles for the last 30 minutes and hadn't matched with anyone. He knew it was because he was being incredibly picky, swiping left on nearly every single profile he'd come across. He wasn't gonna get his dick sucked carrying on like this. He swiped left on a profile of a man in his 40s - already starting to bald, arms wrapped around a girl half his age - when his eyes landed upon the profile of a young man.

Yoongi was intrigued. The man had the prettiest face Yoongi had ever seen, beautiful plush lips pulled into a seductive smile, with his blond bangs hanging over his eyes. Yoongi clicked to view the profile in full, Jimin - the beautiful man's name was Jimin. He used emojis in his profile, which made Yoongi let out a frustrated groan. He hated emojis, too childish. He continued to read the profile and decided that the two of them were too different and even though the man was beautiful he would swipe left, like he had been all night. Maybe it was an accident or maybe Yoongi's subconscious wanted those plush lips around his cock, because instead of swiping left he swiped right.

He put the phone down and got up to make a drink. He shouldn't have a coffee this late, but apparently he was living recklessly tonight. With the steaming hot drink in his hand he climbed back onto his bed. He took a sip of the dark hot liquid when he heard the ding of a notification. He cautiously leaned over and grabbed the phone, swiping away his lock screen. He could see that he had been notified of a match, so he quickly opened the app, curious as to which one of the very small pool of men he'd swiped right on that would like him back. Yoongi could feel his cheeks starting to heat up. He didn't expect to match with the blond with the lips to die for. Not only that, but the man had messaged him too.

Yoongi couldn't tell him the truth, he WAS going to swipe left, what the fuck happened with that anyway.

Yoongi choked on his coffee, Jimin looked like an angel, but an angel wouldn't talk that way. How the hell does he respond to that? Does he even want to respond to that? He placed his coffee on the side table and dragged his hand through his hair. If he didn't take this opportunity his blue balls would actually kill him. Well fuck, his response just made him sound like the world's most pathetic asshole.

Yoongi checked the time, it was quite early in the morning now. The coffee had helped wake him up, but the prospect of meeting with the cute man had him feeling even more awake than what was humanly possible. The two of them talked for the next few hours. Sharing stories of their worst dates, childhood pets, who was more powerful Superman or Ironman and their favourite songs. Yoongi finally said goodnight and put his phone on the charger. They had agreed to met at Jimin's favourite bar the 'Hit List' at 8pm that night. Seventeen hours for Yoongi to work himself up into a worried hot ass mess. Fucking great. And yet as he stared up at the ceiling a small smile broke out on his face.

Yoongi spent his Saturday doing everything he possibly could to distract himself from his date that evening. Was it a date? Do you call meeting some random off the internet to possibly fuck a date? He was too old for this shit. He rearranged his vinyl collection, read a decent chunk of his new book and practiced a few new songs on his guitar. Once the sky had turned a beautiful shade of orange and pink Yoongi knew he had to stop stalling and get his ass ready. He took an extra long shower, debating on whether to do some manscaping (since all the young kids do it these days) before deciding not to. He liked his bush, and if pretty boy wasn't a fan well tough shit for him.

He teamed his black and white shirt with a pair of black jeans ripped at the knee, a leather jacket and finished it off with a few pieces of jewellery. With one last look in the mirror Yoongi slid his phone and wallet into the pocket of his jeans and left his apartment. Just as he stepped into the lift his phone pinged. It was a message from Jimin.

*******************

Jimin is sitting at the bar when Yoongi arrives. He's deep in conversation with the bartender, so Yoongi stands by the entrance awkwardly looking around. It's a nice place, very quiet and intimate. It's dark, a few low hanging lights scattered around and tealight candles sitting in a whisky glass on each table. To his right is a large floor to ceiling window, surrounded by a mix match of old leather chairs. There is a faint smell of smoke in the air. Oddly this smell starts to calm Yoongi down, it reminds him of his grandfather. Okay, now he's nervous again. Thinking of his grandfather at a time like this?

"I'm a fucking mess." he mutters to himself as he walks over to the bar.

"Uhh sorry to interrupt, Jimin right?"

The blond turns his head and smiles, he is really more beautiful in real life Yoongi thinks to himself. He's wearing a black shirt with one too many buttons undone, his hair parted in the middle falling gracefully to each side framing his angelic looking face.

"Mmm that's right and you are?"

Um what?! Fuck, Yoongi knew he made a mistake by coming here. Ahh fuck, why did he have to make that stupid profile? He loved Amateur Bareback 3-Way #2, he could have easily watched it 100 more times.

"Relax cutie, I'm just playing, you should have seen your face," a giggle escaped from Jimin's lips. "Nice to meet you Yoongi." he stood up and extended his hand out to shake. Yoongi quickly wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans and returned the handshake. Jimin's hand was engulfed in Yoongi's. He looked down and couldn't help but smile at the scene. Jimin's hands were so petite compared to his. It was a rather lovely sight.

"Order yourself a drink and we'll go sit over there." he pointed to the leather chairs Yoongi has been eyeing up earlier. He ordered an Irish Mule for himself and a Negroni for Jimin. He carried the drinks to the table, while Jimin followed closely behind. A little too close Yoongi thought. He could smell his perfume starting to mix with the smoke smell. It was a delicious combination.

The first half an hour was straight up torture for Yoongi. Even though the two of them had spent the night messaging each other it was different once he was sitting face to face with the most stunning man in all of Seoul. Yoongi avoided eye contact, mumbled and laughed dryly at Jimin's jokes. He was well and truly fucking this entire thing up.

Jimin huffed "You don't have to stick around you know, you can leave whenever you want."

Yep. He had fucked this up.

"Uhh it's not that," Yoongi starts to bite at his thumb nail "Jimin, I'm terrible at this. People stress me the fuck out, I haven't been laid in four years, I don't like leaving my apartment, you are lovely, fantastic even and that's making me even more nervous."

Jimin played with the hoop in his ear while looking directly at Yoongi, he tilted his head to the side "How can I help you relax? I thought we clicked last night?"

They did

"I'm sorry I make you nervous, I can't help it that I'm so cute." Yoongi finally looked into Jimin's eyes and they burst into laughter.

"It's not your fault. Fuck it, I need another drink . . or five that will help." he rolled his eyes before waking back to the bar.

With a few more drinks in him Yoongi was relaxed, he could feel the whiskey warming up his body. The heat in his stomach though, he was sure that was because of the attractive man sitting in front of him. The discomfort had finally vanished and instead a mellowness had fallen over the two.

"I've always liked older men." Jimin purred, his delicate small fingers, adorned with multiple silver rings, brushing against the now half empty glass.

"Aiisshh I'm only two years older than you!" Yoongi huffed, folding his arms across his chest.

"Yeah, but you act like you're nearly 60.” Jimin let out a hearty laugh, his eyes turning into crescents, cheeks plump and slightly pink. He slapped the table causing their glasses to shake. Yoongi quickly grabbed his to prevent it from spilling.

"It's not that funny." he didn't want to admit it, but the blond's laugh was hypnotic, he could watch Jimin laugh for hours and never tire of it.

Jimin straightened up, fingers now tracing the rim of the glass "I bet you don't fuck like an old man though."

Yoongi gulped and looked directly into Jimin's brown eyes, gone was the playful light, it was now replaced with desperate firey lust. He knew what the outcome of this date could be, and yet he was still nervous. He could feel his heart starting to race, his breath becoming faster. "Aaahh shit" Yoongi thought to himself as his left hand started to twitch, the blond's smell - a mix of orange blossom and patchouli was becoming overwhelming, he needed to calm down, he'd cum within seconds if he didn't get his shit under control.

"Heh, well I guess you'll find out later huh?"

Jimin reached over and ran his soft fingers over Yoongi's hand, playing with the bracelets that sat around his wrist.

"Why don't I find out now?"

Yoongi's friends love roasting him for his personality change when drunk. All of a sudden the quiet reserved man becomes giggly and loud. Cracking terrible jokes and singing at the top of his lungs. Sober Yoongi would never dare dream of taking a stranger to the bathroom to jerk off. Drunk Yoongi though? Try to stop him.

"Mmm Jiminshi are you sure?”

Jimin giggled at this "You are SO cute" he continued to draw his fingers over Yoongis hands "Of course I'm sure, do you wanna go back to mine? Or we could go to yours if you're more comfortable with that..."

Without thinking Yoongi stood, grabbed the blonds arm and pulled him up. They walked towards the exit, but before descending the stairs they took a left and made their way into the restroom. Once inside Yoongi pushed Jimin against the door and started kissing at his neck. "Fuck! Jimin, there is no way in hell I can wait to get back to my place, I need to feel you now." Yoongi whispered between kisses.

Yoongi leaned down and kissed his exposed chest, thank fuck Jimin had left those top buttons open. They had been torturing Yoongi all night long, but now he was thankful for it. Jimin's skin was so soft and it faintly smelled like cherry blossom lotion but he wanted more. He was desperate for more. Jimin ran his hands through Yoongi's hair and grabbed hard. Small moans escaped his lips, which drew Yoongi even crazier. He undid the buttons on his shirt and stood back. Jimin had the body of a god. Perfectly sculptured, with beautiful brown nipples begging to be sucked on. Who was Yoongi to deny god his wish?

Jimin let out a squeak when Yoongi ran his tongue over his nipples, hungrily licking and sucking at them. His right hand found it's way to the bulge in Jimin's pants and he pressed his palm down onto it. Jimin was now starting to get louder which made Yoongi smirk, he lightly nipped on Jimin's nipple before standing up and leaning in to sloppily kiss Jimin on those perfect, perfect lips, the taste of spice and bitterness still lingering.

"Uuuhhh Hyung, please touch me."

"That's what I'm doing Jimin."

"No you asshole, I want to feel you properly, get my fucking dick out." Yoongi stopped and looked at Jimin, slightly taken back by the tone of his voice. But he just smiled back - a wicked smile.

Yoongi got onto his knees and began undoing the zip of Jimin's pants. He pulled them down to his ankles, he then drew his hands up Jimin's legs, enjoying how smooth they were. He palmed Jimin's cock through his underwear eliciting a moan from the man above him. Yoongi pressed his face into Jimin's clothed cock. He took a deep breath, Jimin smelled wicked, his arousal mixed with body lotion was rousing. He alternated between sucking and licking on the cock trapped behind Calvin Klein underwear. He repeated this action a few more times before finally removing the now very damp briefs.

Jimin wasn't the biggest cock Yoongi had ever seen, but he was thick and absolutely smooth. He stroked his long fingers over his chiseled abs, along Jimin's length and then down to his balls which he cupped in his hand, massaging back and forth. He let go and brought his hand to his mouth, running his tongue over his entire palm. It was so fucking dirty and Jimin shuddered at the sight. He reached back up and gripped Jimin's cock in his now saliva covered hand. He drew his hand up and down at a frantic pace. He was too worked up to go any slower, but Jimin didn't seem to mind by the noises he was making. Oh shit, he was being too loud now. They'd get caught and thrown out or even worse the cops called.

"Shit Jimin, you need to be quiet or someone will hear us.”

“Mmm Yoongi I don't think I can cutie, why do you think I said we should get out of here."

Yoongi huffed and slowed his hand down. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jimin's briefs, so he picked them up, stood and shoved them in Jimin's mouth.

"That should shut you up.... Is that okay? I can take them out if you don't like it.”

Jimin shook his head and moaned around the underwear. His mouth was stretched open and drool already starting to pool at the corners. What a fucking beautiful thing to witness. Pleased with himself Yoongi got back on his knees and kissed the tip of Jimin's cock. His tongue played with the slit, circling it before he slowly kissed down each side of his shaft. He then licked the base to tip, never taking his eyes off Jimin's. They both looked so fucked already, pupils blown out, flushed cheeks and lips swollen from the rough kissing earlier.

He started pumping slowly, wanting to tease Jimin a little, the blond was impatient though and bucked his hips into Yoongi's fist, letting him know he wanted and desperately needed it faster. Yoongi let out a small chuckle and started to move his hand at a pace the gorgeous man would enjoy. Muffled moans of pleasure let Yoongi know he had found the magic speed. He continued like this for a few minutes before letting go and taking Jimin's cock in his mouth. Oh he tasted good - of course he did he was perfect in every way why would this be any different? Yoongi hollowed his cheeks as he bobbed up and down on Jimin's length, taking it deep before pulling up and letting go with a 'pop'.

He took hold of Jimin's cock and rubbed his lips all over the head, spreading precum all over his lips and chin. He felt like such a slut, but he was loving every moment of it. Yoongi closed his eyes and slowly buried Jimin's entire cock in his mouth until it hit the back of his throat. He moaned around the feeling, this was what he had needed. To feel stuffed by a pretty cock attached to a pretty man. Jimin was squirming above him, his panting and moans muffled by the briefs in his mouth, but there was no doubt he was in ecstasy just like the cock starved brunette. Yoongi felt petite hands fist into his hair and start pulling and pushing trying to take some control of the situation, Yoongi slowed down and allowed Jimin to start fucking into his mouth.

With each of Jimin's thrusts his grunts became louder as he was getting closer to his orgasm. Jimin wasn't the only one getting close, after having practically become a born again virgin, Yoongi's head was dizzy with arousal and he wasn't sure how much longer he would last, his grip on Jimin's thighs tightening, bound to leave light marks the next morning. He closed his eyes and could feel the heat from his stomach rise throughout his body, his muscles tensing as he felt his release. The wet patch in Yoongi's pants made him feel absolutely filthy. He came just from sucking someone's cock? Before he had too much time to start mulling over how much of a slut he is, Jimin spills his load inside Yoongi's hot mouth. He thrusts hard a few times causing the cum to spill out of Yoongi's mouth and dribble down his chin, landing on the floor.

Jimin hisses as he slowly removes himself from Yoongi's mouth, he leans down and Yoongi yanks the underwear out of his mouth before smashing his lips against the blonds. He doesn't care that his mouth is still full of Jimin's cum, he tastes so good he wants him to experience the intoxicating taste too. When their lips part Jimin stands to put his softening cock away. Yoongi stands with him and looks around the room, avoiding eye contact.

"Umm thanks for that, that was .. uhh really good."

Jimin's bewitching smile returns "Yeah, that was amazing cutie can't say I've ever had my underwear shoved into my mouth though, but there is a first time for everything. Come here and I'll treat you good too."

"Well um, no it's okay. Honestly. I may have cum already." he sheepishly replies, still avoiding any damn eye contact.

A small "oh" left his pouty lips "well I'm glad I could have been of assistance."

The two stood awkwardly for a while before Jimin held Yoongi's hand and walked him over to the sink. He made the older man sit on the bench while he cleaned up all the mess he had made. Yoongi's heart couldn't stop beating. There was no need for Jimin to be so nice after what they had just done, but here he was doing something Yoongi actually felt was more intimate than painting the walls of his throat with his cum.

"Ah there ya go, now you can go back into the real world without anyone suspecting a thing.”

They walked outside together in silence, Yoongi had never had a hook up before. Do you crack jokes? Profess your love? Or just act like what happened never did? His mind was a million miles away when soft fingers were suddenly stroking his cheek.

"Please message me anytime you want to see each other again, and I'll be the one doing all the dirty work okay?"

This made Yoongi blush "Yeah okay. Thank you Jimin, truly I had a great night."

And it was the truth, he had so much fun he could relive the moment in his head for the next four years. Amateur Bareback 3-Way #2 wouldn't be needed when the memory of small hands, captivating moans and cum drizzling down his chin was enough to get him hard again. It had been less than 20 minutes. God dammit!

[bittybattybunny]

I hope your not feeling down on your writing skills because I haven't caught up and commented on your latest releases. It's not you it's that I pick too many fanfics to follow and they all update a lot and I've been so busy and I've fallen behind on so many fics from various authors and sometimes my depression just makes me want to lie in bed all day doing nothing and it doesn't help I have to spend my limited spoons helping family everyday. I know these aren't good excuses, but I do sympathize with the lack of energy feeling at least. But your work really does bring a lot of joy to my life. It's so fun keeping up with your various AUs, and your latest one that features Kaya as Spider King has me really hyped because I want to learn more about Kaya, she's so fun! And Ruclipse is such a good comfort ship that just hits all the things I like seeing in a ship. You're so amazing and creative and it's awful that anyone would try to make you feel otherwise! Like your newest OC, Justin Tyme seems like such a lovable dumbass bastard. I love his wild, curly hair and his dapper outfit. I can't wait to see what dumb shit he gets himself into! I know this is really long and rambly, but I hope you know you have fans who genuinely love your work. I don't know if you're still thinking about that one comment you mentioned that got you really down, but honestly, fuck that guy. I don't know what they said but it must have been pure BS to have you doubting your hard earned art skills. I wish I could do more to prove you're awesome and that your fans really admire you, I just hope you don't stop sharing what you love because some rando was nasty for no good reason. Because we love what you do!

It's not like anyone one person nonny so please don't blame yourself. This has been an ongoing thing for a few months actually...

it's just a general thing over all lately like. I mentioned this in dm's with a friend but overall past few months I've had lower engagement overall with my works and it really does a number on my confidence. More so because like your latter point.

yes, I am still very much thinking about that one negative comment. Because that person also has the need to comment on other things and I even had a thing asking why I took a few weeks to update (when reality I posted to another ongoing fic and my TLC chapters are long chapters) and just the fact they could tear into a character (yes it was a comment on a character specifically and not even a main character it's a side character who has an important role for Snatcher's growth as a person down the line) then go saying "why didn't you update" when I posted a double update that week---

Like it lives in my head rent free and I want to literally cry because like the character is a focal in an upcoming chapter and I can't deal with another "why are they back" type thing. because "everyone finds them annoying"

And I'll be honest. it was Kaya. Like I've been trying to have fun with my BCU stuff with her as Spiderking because it's engaging for me and me and @/doodleimprovement even came up with a b-plot involving Kaya and Hattie trying to hook Nell and Marcus together and it's one of the best things as well as Kaya and Nell having a really good relationship.

but because of that one comment it makes me hesitant to do anything with Kaya despite she's one of my oldest ocs, my most thought out ocs and I adore her beyond anything. Like yes she's over powered and such and in TLC rn she comes off as a know it all, but upcoming chapters will show she's just a spacey kid who's trying to fit into a role others decided for her and isn't really as all mighty as she seems. Snatcher even ends up thinking of her as a little sister more than anything. Like fuck I'm even hesitant to share anything on her actual story despite how much work is in it. Like she's my favorite Oc (that's why shes my discord icon, and I'm pretty sure she's my twitter icon as well)

And like the points in the comment just. IDK they didn't fit to her, if anything the points are more suited to be shot at Eclipse.

Which is another thing I just get iffy on. I love RuClipse and everything with it. I love writing and drawing the dorks. But I'm now so afraid if Kaya could be attacked for only showing in a handful of chapters that don't even touch on who she is, when is someone going to finally tell me off on my wolf? who's going to tear into a character I pour a lot of personal shit into to try and comfort myself?

I use Ruclipse to deal with my own romantic heart, they are what I wish I could have so I love to write them, I hurt them but i like to make them happy in the end. Someone who can deal with your highs and lows. No ones perfect but you can still figure it out and love even the negative parts (I am a heavy romantic OTL)

he is in fact a lovable bastard. i have fun plans and he gives me an excuse for why Cel is so tired and having to be the brain cell and how she even wound up working with the time kids when she's so much older than they are. Currently I'm trying to think of how to use him and honestly I think he's gonna wind up hella comic relief fun guy who's just making a mess and do his own side story while Hat and Bow are busy in subcon----

thank you, I don't mind the rambly it kinda gave me a chance to get this off my chest... like I've typed this kinda response up time and time again and I always delete. I feel like I'm whining because I get upset but it's just, I spend so much time making things, I use all my spoons on either working or creating, I just want to know if it means anything but then negativity lives in my head because what's a functioning meat cube??? I try to stay positive but it's hard. Like another thing is Moon Guardian; the reason I haven't updated? because I have had someone bothering me about it. weekly I get asked about how I'm doing on it but it's not from a place of "want to read it" it's because I told them they couldn't post a certain thing until the chapter is done so it feels pressuring to constantly get asked because I feel the only reason they want to post is to boost their thing and I'm just the machine to boost it with my characters and comic.... like it feels they've taken the comic from me and it sucks because I have so many fun things planned. Like I accidentally went off on Nina about a thing with Alpine skyline and Eclipse as well as a thing with a Time Rift and a Jelly ghost.

Sorry kinda went off, just I've sat on this thought train since like early april. I've done my best to ignore it and just keep going but it's gotten really hard with the fact my health hasn't been really great. I've spent a lot of time lately bed bound because I just hurt so badly. if I'm not resting, I'm at my day job which is incredibly stressful rn as I only really work mornings and I see things that are being missed so then i report it and it still gets missed and i can't get it fixed after a point cuz we're back to full service and need the people so I can't nitpick but just.... I'm bitter okay like if I left this shit when I worked I would have gotten yelled at but now we just let it slide??? and this stresses me out which then causes my body to freak out because I'm stressed which puts me in more pain. and then like at work have people acting shocked I have my cane or soemthing and just skfdslkfksdf

so my energy is so tanked. and then the negative comment in my head, no idea if people like things cuz I have no idea if I hear nothing, just has had me doubting why post. Like I should go back to just not posting my stories and sketches or w/e and slink back to my hole like I was before.

idk Its just. a bad night in the house of bun. I've had these thoughts festering and I guess today was the dam breaking. It's probs cuz I'm nervous posting Chimeras because it's a very dark au.

[somersetmummy]

(A/N) This chapter takes place right at the beginning of the story, prior to TNA Chapter 1. Some characters property of Pixelberry.

Original characters: Katie Hide (MC), Jenny Blake

New characters: Lucinda Hansen

Rating/Content Warning: Mild adult language

Word count: 2005

Summary: MC Katie Hide is an English rose, living in New York. She’s down on her luck and desperately needs a job before her visa expires and she’s sent back to London. A chance conversation with a friend leads to an unlikely opportunity. Little did she know that one little interview would change the course of her life forever.

- Bonus social edits at the end -

Just like any other Thursday morning of recent weeks, Katie and Jenny were killing time together in their favourite coffee shop just down the street from their shared apartment. It had become Katie's haven and her go-to place when she wanted to lose herself for a few hours people watching, letting the stories of their lives unfold around her.

She'd always had a knack for paying attention to the details, noticing things which passed by most others. It was a skill she'd relied on heavily in her work, always giving her the edge, at least it had until the time it led to her downfall at Panacea Labs.

Katie had recently walked out of her job after piecing together a scheme under the radar to roll out a costly new drug for treating MS, despite there being multiple warning signs that it was ultimately ineffective but instead just masked the symptoms. Anyone else would've just glossed over the signs, not even noticing, but to Katie, the anomalies jumped off the page unmistakably. It was when she tried to escalate her concerns that she was shut down and her life in the lab made a misery by the VP, Declan Nash.

It hadn't taken long for her to realise that the company was more concerned about profits than actually helping people and she knew that the battle to fall in line and keep her job wasn't worth it. After calmly and quietly sending a company wide report on her findings, she gathered her things and walked out before she could be accosted by security. Little did she know that Nash had already been keeping tabs on her communications, in his eyes she was a trouble maker, and the report never saw the light of day.

Unfortunately for Katie, the current opportunities for young women in the biotech and pharmaceutical world just weren't what they should have been and she spent the next few weeks furiously searching for something else to avoid her work visa being revoked. 

Having moved from London to attend the New York Institute of Technology and graduating with a Masters in Chemistry & Bio Engineering three years ago, she'd fallen in love with the city and the life she'd built. She didn't know exactly what the future held and couldn't put her finger on why, but she had a very strong feeling that she needed to stay in New York.  

Today, Katie had planned to work through all the job adverts remotely relating to her experience and qualifications, with Jenny on hand to offer moral support. Tiring quickly of hitting one brick wall after another, they'd long forgotten the laptop and instead had spent the last 30 minutes idly chatting about Jenny’s upcoming gallery event when Lucinda arrived, phone to her ear, her body tense and voice sharp as she wrapped up a call with her boss.

"Of course I've got someone Angela, I wouldn't put my name in the mix if I didn't. My candidate is going to blow the others out of the water, I just know Mr Dalton will be impressed....no not just impressed, he'll be awestruck..."

While waiting for her to wrap up her call, Katie heads to the counter to order Lucinda a much needed coffee and returns to place it down in front of her just as she hangs up. She tosses her phone onto the table and slumps back in her chair, defeated.

Jenny stares her down waiting for an explanation which she and Katie both know Lucinda desperately wants to give but is holding off for dramatic effect.

After a long sip of coffee and a moment of holding her head in her hands she finally exhales.

"I am so SO SCREWED."

Katie and Jenny share a look before returning their attention to Lucinda.

"I've just promised my boss that I have the perfect candidate for some billionaire business man's nanny position....." She glares at them both as if they should understand why that's a problem. "I never touch these sorts of jobs, I only ever look for candidates in finance, nannying isn't worth my time."

Katie chooses her words carefully, knowing how Lucinda can bite back pretty quickly when she's stressed. Speaking softly, cautious not to poke the bear, she looks Lucinda in the eye and internally braces herself for whatever might come next.

"So what made this one so different?"

Fortunately Lucinda seems to finally be relaxing, she replies more quietly.

"Filling this position will put me on the map, nobody in the firm has been able to secure someone for this guy, they only seem to last a few weeks before they quit so the sign on bonus never kicks in. If I could find the perfect person I wouldn't only get a great bonus, I'd be next in line for promotion to Senior Head-hunter."

Her demanding demeanour melts away and she's left looking almost vulnerable. Something Katie knows Lucinda doesn't find at all comfortable.

"Anyway, I'll figure it out, I always do."

She gives Katie and Jenny a soft smile, allowing herself to momentarily forget about her woes so she can refocus the attention back to them.

"So what were you guys talking about before I came in?"

As Katie opens her mouth to speak Jenny cuts in on her behalf.

"Oh Katie's just been trying to work out how to get a job before her visa renewal date comes up in a couple of weeks."

Katie lets out a sigh of her own, suddenly remembering how dire her employment prospects are and feeling equally as defeated as Lucinda.

"I can't believe I've worked so hard for my degree, I found the perfect job in the perfect city but now it's all gone down the drain and I'm going to have to go back home and never see you all again."

Jenny wraps her arm around Katie's shoulders, pulling her close. "Oh come on, like you'd be able to shake us off. Even if you are in another country!"

As suddenly as Lucinda dramatically entered the coffee shop she slams her hand onto the table making the others jump.

"THAT'S IT!" She cries, her idea almost exploding out of her. "This is just too perfect...."

Katie and Jenny share a confused look before turning back to Lucinda who is practically foaming at the mouth, clearly onto something, though they're not quite sure what.

"You need a job, I need a candidate." She says in her signature matter of fact style.

Katie still has no idea where Lucinda's going with this.

"It's win win. I'll put you forward for the nanny position, you'll get a great job which means you get to stay in New York, I'll get my bonus. Not to mention I'll look like a damn superhero at work!"

The cogs start to turn in Katie's brain as she begins to digest what Lucinda is proposing.

"But I'm not a nanny....and what about my visa, it's only valid for work in relation to my degree."

Lucinda waves her hand at her, dismissing her concerns. "No problem there then. This guy's family owns one of the biggest Biotech companies in the country, surely that's related to your degree? He's so desperate for a successful match I'll make sure the visa thing is part of the contract."

She cuts back in quickly just as Katie opens her mouth to object.

"And as for you not being a nanny, what about all those times in the lab when you had to pull rank and sort out the shit that went down between your useless colleagues? You've done more nannying of adults in the last two years than most actual nanny's do in their whole career with children."

Jenny suddenly chimes in "OH MY GOD, this is genius!"

Defeated, Katie turns to look at Jenny in disbelief. She may have had a chance saying no to just Lucinda but with Jenny on board with this idea as well she may as well give up now.

"This will solve both your problems, I mean come on, who wouldn't want to work for this guy..."

Jenny turns her phone to Katie, clearly having been searching while she and Lucinda were talking. On the screen Katie sees the most devastatingly handsome man she's ever come across. He's nothing like the guys she'd known before, this person, was a real man and the sight of him caused her stomach to flip.

While undeniably handsome, it's not just the physical attraction that she's drawn to. Her eyes move to the company bio underneath his headshot and in true Katie style, she scans all of the accolades and achievements the company has to boast about. Her mind races at the possibilities. There's no mistaking that working for this man could open the door to so many opportunities and experiences in the future.

With a sigh she resigns herself to the fact that Lucinda might actually be on to something, this could be the break Katie had been waiting for and would certainly solve her imminent visa problems if she could get it taken care of as part of the contract negotiations.

With a silent nod and slight shrug of the shoulders, she begrudgingly agrees, much to the delight of her friends who squeal at each other in delight. Lucinda immediately pushes her shoulders back, standing to attention, furiously beginning to type on her phone.

"You TA'd for your old professor right?"

"Yes, I did a year as their assistant after graduating. Mainly doing research and going to conferences with her."

Lucinda's eyes never leave her phone as she works her magic, spinning Katie's words into an impressive resume. After a moment she raises her eyebrows and flits her eyes over to Katie, a small gesture which Katie realises is an invitation to elaborate.

"Oh, yeah so that's actually how I got into Panacea Labs, I met a rep at one of those conferences."

Jenny rolls her eyes at the mention of Katie's old company, now affectionately known by them both as Pariah Labs. Despite what she felt about Katie's previous employer, she was immensely proud of Katie's achievements and wanted to make sure they were included.

"Weren't you the youngest lab boss thingy they'd ever had?"

"Senior lab technician." Katie corrects, knowing full well that Jenny hasn't got a clue about the finer details of her work. "Well, yeah eventually, after two years of working my butt off. But I hardly think they'd rave about that in any reference they give me. If they even give one to begin with..."

Lucinda waves a dismissive hand at her.

"With this resume, you won't need any reference from those bastards. Trust me."

Katie had no idea what Lucinda had written or how she'd managed to spin her experience to be more favourable for a nanny position but it must've worked because half an hour later Lucinda slammed her hand down on the table once again, causing everyone around them to jump out of their skin.

"YES! It worked...he wants to see you, you've got an interview tomorrow at the Dalton Enterprises headquarters".

She turns her phone to Jenny to show off the email and they fall into an animated conversation, no doubt planning how they're all going to celebrate once Katie inevitably gets offered the job. As they fall into a blur in the background, Katie looks back over the picture of Sam Dalton on Jenny's phone, not quite sure how she can be so hypnotised by someone through a photograph.

There's something about him which feels familiar, something drawing her in. It's almost as if they're viewing each other through a looking glass and she wonders whether in this exact moment he is feeling the same magnetic pull towards her, a stranger whom he hasn't even met yet. Tearing her eyes away from the phone, Katie's tries to steady the stream of unanswered questions flooding her mind and focus on how she's going to win this man over.

"Here goes nothing."

TAG List: @shewillreadyou @chemist-ana @txemrn @silma-words @thefrenchiemama @secretaryunpaid @sfb123

- Bonus - pre-interview pep talk with the girls -

[sillyrabbit81]

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 2.6k

Warnings: swearing, mention of death, angst

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 12 Part 14

Part 13

Liam said we should drive to the restaurant. I wanted to get an Uber because I didn't think we would get a car park close to the restaurant. The shoes I was wearing were not made for walking.

"We don't have to worry about the car. They have a valet service," Liam said when I suggested an Uber would be better.

Of course, they do. I don't think I've ever used a valet service in my life, and Liam tells me like it's an everyday thing. I suppose it is for him. Earlier in the week, I was amazed to find out that he gets driven to work most days even though he only lives about 10 minutes away. No wonder movies and tv shows are so expensive to make if they have to pay for things like drivers on top of everything else.

I was excited about going in his car, though. I was itching to drive it. I wanted to ask him if I could, but I didn't. As stupid as it was, I was scared he'd say no. Every guy who had said no to letting me drive his car ended up being a prick. So I was floored when he said I could drive if I wanted.

"Really?" I asked. I was practically bouncing with excitement.

"Yeah, you seemed to like it. I was going to ask if you wanted to take it out before we got..." Liam paused, seemingly to look for the right word. "Distracted."

I clapped my hands and squealed like a child. I'm such a dag, but I was excited. I'd never driven a car that fast or expensive before.

The drive was exhilarating but too short. Its 5.0 litre, supercharged V8 engine was insanely powerful, and since it was AWD, its handling took me a bit to get used to. When we got to the restaurant, I couldn't stop smiling. "Thank you! That was heaps good!"

"You're hilarious."

"Why? What did I do?" I asked, getting out of the car and handing the keys to the valet and thanking him.

"Don't think I didn't notice that you deliberately went the long way and on the highway so you could drive faster."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I widened my eyes and tried to look innocent.

Liam just shook his head and placed his hand on my back, guiding me into the restaurant.

The food was modern Australian, Liam had a scotch fillet and salad, and I had barramundi. Liam wasn't drinking and said he would drive home. I had a couple of glasses of white wine and felt a bit sauced.

I had trouble staying awake on the way back to Liam's, and eventually, the rumble of the engine lulled me into sleep. The wine combined with the stressful week had caught up with me. I woke up when Liam pulled into the garage.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to doze off," I said as we got out of the car.

"Never mind," Liam said. "Come on, let's go to bed."

We walked across Liam's backyard holding hands. I looked around as the first time I was lead through here, I only had eyes for Liam. It was big for a house so close to the city. "You have a pool? I wish you would have told me. I would have brought my swimmers."

Liam opened his back door. "You don't need bathers," he said winking. I blushed then yawned. "Poor princess. Do you want a shower? Or straight to bed?"

I nodded, "yeah, a shower would be good. I've gotta wash this makeup off too." I kicked my heels off. The relief was euphoric, my calves were sore, and I rubbed them as I bent to pick up my shoes.

"Want a bath instead?" Liam asked, noticing my massage. It was sweet that he noticed little things like that. "The bathroom on the third floor has an enormous bath. I haven't had a chance to use it yet."

"Fuck, yes! That would be awesome. What other crazy shit do you have in this place? I think you'd better give me a tour tomorrow."

Liam laughed as we went up the lift. "Yeah, ok, there's a couple of things you might like that I've not shown you yet."

The bathroom was stunning, like a hotel or spa. The bath was the hero piece of the room, and it was huge. It sat in the middle of the bathroom on a raised platform and had tiled steps around it. The whole room was decorated to be a romantic space, a couples bathroom. Candles and body wash sat by the bath, and the room's lighting was warm. Robes hung on the wall near the tub. Although there were a shower and sinks, there was no toilet. The room was definitely built for romance, not practicality.

"I thought you said you hadn't used this bathroom."

"I haven't." I pointed out the candles, soaps, towels and robes. "A stylist got all that, fitted out each room with basics so I can move in, and it's all done." My jaw dropped.

"Your life..."

"Isn't normal." He interrupted with a half-smile. "I know." Liam started the bath. "Do you need anything? Your toiletry bag? Toothbrush?"

I nodded. Liam kissed me as he left to get my stuff. The bath would probably take 20 minutes to fill, so I thought I'd wash my make-up off and brush my teeth while it did. I got undressed and put one of the robes on. They were both huge, no his and hers, but it was warm and soft.

Liam returned, and I started to wash up. I put my hair in a bun with a scrunchy and washed my face. I brushed my teeth and saw that Liam was sitting on the edge of the bath, still fully clothed, watching the water fill up.

"You're not getting in?" I asked with a mouthful of toothbrush and toothpaste. Liam looked at me confused, so I finished brushing, rinsed and repeated my question.

Liam turned the water off, bath finally full and got up. "I thought maybe you'd like to soak by yourself for a while."

"No," I said. I wrapped my arms around Liam's waist, feeling short again as my head rested against his chest. "I want you to get in with me."

He lifted my chin and kissed me softly, almost lazily. "Alright, Sweetheart."

I lifted his jumper and raised it over his head. Liam had to help by ducking. He sat and took his shoes and socks off and then stood to remove his pants. I hung my robe back up, and we both got in the water. I sat between his legs and laid my back against his chest, my head resting on his shoulder. The water was bliss, almost too hot but soothing. Liam had put some fragrance in the water, and it smelled of lavender. Breathing it in relaxed me, and I closed my eyes.

Liam nuzzled into my neck and caressed my arm. I smiled as he kissed my neck and shoulders until I felt him stir against my back. He stopped kissing me, and he just held me close to his chest like he was trying not to get turned on. It didn't seem to be working as I could still feel him, but I admired his efforts.

"Lana, I want to ask you something," Liam said. His timbre was soft but echoed slightly through the room, making his words seem more ominous than he probably meant them to be.

My body tensed slightly, and hesitantly I said, "Okay."

He cleared his throat, and I realised he was nervous. I don't think I had heard him unsure like that before. I felt cold. "I uh, I have a premiere to attend on Thursday evening, one of Myra's. Tom, my agent, set it up." Oh fuck. He's not going to ask me to go with him, is he? "I would very much like it if you came with me." I sat up quickly, and water splashed everywhere. "Sarah said that since the cats out of the bag and I'm serious about you, you should come too." He added quickly.

I looked back at him, furious. "Why would you ask me that?"

"Because you're my fucking girlfriend." He was also mad now.

"I'm not your fucking girlfriend." I stood up and got out of the bath. I almost slipped on the tiles as I did. His hand shot out to steady me, but I pulled my arm out of his grasp. I stomped over to the robes and pulled one on. Then I grabbed my clothes from the floor.

"What are you doing?" Liam asked, getting out himself. He didn't put his robe on, and he just stood there. I don't know why, but that seemed to make me angrier.

"Getting my shit and going home."

"What the fuck, Lana? Why?"

I grabbed my bag and went to leave and found him blocking my way. "Because I want to, that's why. Get out of my way."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Just piss off."

"No, tell me what's wrong. Why don't you want to be seen with me? Why don't you want to be my girlfriend? I don't understand." He was shouting now, his voice full of anger and frustration. "You treat me like a fuck toy one minute, and the next, you're treating me like we've been married for ten years. What do you want from me? You say you aren't my girlfriend, but you sure act like you are. If you just want to fuck me, fine. Come over and fuck me, then leave. But don't lay with me and cuddle all day, cook me food, confide in me, talk to me at night until you fall asleep and make me fall in love with you. I can't take that."

For a moment, I softened. In so many ways, Liam was right. We had fallen into this relationship so easily. I felt like I knew him because we talked for months before meeting. I did enjoy hanging out with him talking. He's often felt like home to me, a safe place, a person I could trust. He was my boyfriend in everything but name. He saw the change in me and moved towards me.

I stiffened, "No, fuck you. Don't put this on me. I told you to go slow. I told you I don't want a relationship in the spotlight, and you won't listen to me." My frustration poured out. "You lured me in under false pretences with no thought about how I would feel. Like having the great Liam Cross interested in you would be enough. You're so fucking self-centred. I'm not impressed by all this," I waved my hand around the room, "Or that," I waved my hand at his naked body. "For fuck's sake, put some fucking clothes on. You're not that attractive."

Liam looked over at the robes and saw how far away they were. He shook his head. "I think we need to talk, Lana. You can't run away from this."

"You can't keep me here." He just raised an eyebrow. I gasped horrified. "You wouldn't?"

His body tensed, and he looked like he was going to try to stop me for a minute. But then his shoulders slumped, and he stepped aside.

"Thank you," I said through gritted teeth as I walked out.

I took the stairs down to his room and got dressed. He followed me, still naked and dripping water. I thought he would try to keep talking to me, but he went straight to his dressing room.

When he came out, he wore tracksuit pants, his chest was bare, and he still had beads of water clinging to his chest. My traitorous eyes looked him up and down, and I noticed it looked like he wasn't wearing underwear. Fuck me. He was magnificent. I tore my eyes away and back to packing my bag. I wasn't going to let his body distract me.

"Please, Lana, just talk to me."

"What's the point?"

"The point is so you'll let me in. You talk to me, you tell me things about you, and just as it cuts close to the bone, you clam up."

"I'm my own person, Liam. I'm allowed to have secrets." My bag was packed, and I stood up with it.

"Why didn't you tell me about Andy and your father's car accident? I had to read about it on the fucking internet."

I felt like I had been punched in the guts. I felt both hot and cold waves flow over me, and for a moment, I thought I was going to throw up.

"You're a fucking prick." I was raging.

"Alright, Lana, have it your way. Go back to being miserable and alone. Go put your wedding ring back on because obviously, you'd rather stay in love with a dead man than be seen with me." He was still shouting. Liam's body was taught, so much tension in his muscles. His lips almost looked cruel, twisted up into a sneer. His eyebrows were drawn low, making his eyes seem small.

"Yeah, you're right. I would. I shouldn't be here with you." I was near screaming now. I was irrational, tired, slightly drunk and drained. "I should be miserable and alone, and I should be thankful for that. It's my fucking fault he's dead. I fucking killed him. It should have been me. It's my fault..." I sobbed. The tears started, and I knew they couldn't be stopped. "Oh God, it's my fault." I couldn't breathe. I dropped my bag and clawed at my shirt, trying to get a breath. I was on my knees, now fighting the panic that threatened to overwhelm me.

Liam's arms came around me. I tried to push him away, fight him. He was too strong. "Shhhh shhh." He tried to soothe me. He rubbed my back. I wanted to scream at him to go away, to leave me alone. He wouldn't let go. He held me tighter until I couldn't fight anymore and just let myself go. He pulled me onto his lap, and I curled up into him as he whispered, "You're ok. It's ok." I kept sobbing until I clutched at his neck and cried into him.

I don't know how long we sat there. It felt like hours. "I'm sorry," I said when I had calmed. My throat was sore. I don't think I could have spoken any louder.

"Don't be. I shouldn't have pushed you. You were right. I was being selfish."

"I should have told you before you found out. It still hurts. I can deal with them being gone, but I can't get past the guilt. I should have been in the car with Dad. Andy was doing me a favour because I was too tired from Christmas. I wanted a day off, you know? A day where I didn't have to deal with people." My throat was feeling raw, and my mouth was dry.

"You don't have to tell me."

"No, I do. Just let me get through it, ok?" He nodded and pulled me into a more comfortable position on his lap. "I was supposed to take my Dad to Dave's house for a second Christmas. My parents had split up a couple of years ago. I fought with my mum the day before and didn't want to go through it all again the next day. My Dad couldn't drive anymore; his eyes were too bad. So Andy said he'd drop him off and I could stay in bed. He said he would tell them I had a migraine. So I laid in bed sleeping while my father and husband laid on the road, dying, trapped under a truck."

"I'm so sorry," Liam said. "I don't know how I would deal with that either. But it's not your fault. You know that, right?"

I didn't say anything. Liam was quiet after that. But he didn't let me go.

Part 14

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

(TW for meds, insomnia, hospital, accident, death, pandemic, violence) This is an ask for reassurance and advice. I currently take medicine that was prescribed to me after my trauma to treat insomnia. I thought this would just be a "band-aid" solution but it feels like life kept spiraling downhill and I've had to continue to stay on the med for now. I won't get into the details but after my first trauma (which was a personal trauma, no one else was hurt or impacted but me), I then had a (1/10)

sudden death in the family, my mom was paralyzed after an accident, and I also had to start taking care of a family member in the late stages of Alzheimer's. When my mom was paralyzed and my other family member died, I was put on a psychiatric waiver from my classes because my school said I was too unstable to keep attending. I tried to seek help from my school's counseling center twice. The first time, they wouldn't see me because I wasn't enrolled at the time (this was after my first trauma which involved hospitalization so I wasn't taking classes).

The second time (after the death + accident + becoming a caretaker), they literally said that my problems were "too severe" for them to deal with but wouldn't give me any other resources. So rather than receiving proper long-term counseling, I've had to rely on my medicine. Like I mentioned, it's prescribed to me by a doctor, I don't abuse it, I'm on a small dose, and I don't get any side effects from it. But I just see it as a personal failure because I think to myself "If only I had gotten better help before, I wouldn't be relying on medication now." Plus even with medication due to my life being so unstable I still encounter issues with sleep and have sleep-related anxiety in general. I don't feel ready to come off my medication for now, because I feel like a change in medication would be a bad idea given my current circumstances and tbh the pandemic has made things that were already stressful even more stressful, for example there's been vaccine shortages where I live, lots of fights and violence in broad daylight, and just... really bad policies that have kept the pandemic out of control compared to other places.

I'm not living in a stable environment, I've always hated this city and the pandemic made me realize just how little I can keep tolerating it. I'm currently going to a new school I'm hopefully graduating from soon and still get extreme stress on a daily basis thanks to having to take care of my family members on top of loads of schoolwork. I did see a counselor (only short-term though because they ended up moving out of this country) who said my dose is safe and that they believe that once I eliminate some of the stressors from my life (like finally graduating school and leaving this bad environment) and can focus on my trauma recovery without as much stress, I will eventually not need the medicine anymore, and will be able to gradually wean off of it.

I have researched about this online and would do it carefully under the guidance of a medical professional, plus like I mentioned before I'm on a low dose and never abuse it. There's been times where I've fallen asleep without it and also some times where I've been able to go for months on a reduced dose comfortably, until some obstacle sets me back and I'm back to feeling like I need the full dose again. I still have a LOT of fear like "What if I'm STILL too mentally messed up even after life gets less stressful for me? What if I run into new traumas? What if it's too difficult for me to stop needing my medicine to sleep? What if the problem is all ME and I'm just this messed up person beyond repair who failed at being a human thanks to my trauma ruining me?" and I get extremely, overwhelmingly panicked over those thoughts literally every day.

One fear in particular that I have is that I know when my relative with Alzheimer's dies, it will be absolutely devastating. I just wish my initial trauma would have never happened to me, because now it feels like my brain is far too messed up to handle ANYTHING else, whether it's just school or if it's something more serious like more deaths/accidents in the family. I feel like if someone else were going through this I would support them and encourage them but I can't give my brain the same treatment I would give to someone else. I just feel like I'm stuck in this situation and it all goes back to not getting the right help from the right people at the right time.

Can I have some advice and reassurance about how to approach all of this? (Also, I wanted to add that I have severe health anxiety, so if possible I would appreciate if you could please try to avoid saying things that would make my anxiety worse in regards to health topics since I see a lot of "worst case scenario" type stuff online that causes me to panic and I want to focus on positive possibilities instead, please) Thanks!

---

Hi Anon,

First of all, it sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of stress and holding up really well considering that. I know it may feel like you’re not doing well at all, but it sounds like you’re still getting through school and taking care of family, both of which are not easy things. You should feel good about the fact you’re doing a lot better than many people would be in the same situation.

The fact that you are taking a medication isn’t a failure at all. If someone was depressed and taking an anti-depressant medication to treat it, that wouldn’t be a sign of weakness. If someone had a lactose intolerance and sometimes took a medication so they could eat cheese while minimizing the effects, that wouldn’t be “wrong”.

It sounds like your school’s counselling center failed you. That really sucks. But it isn’t your fault that they wouldn’t help you or even get you access to other resources - it sounds like you did what you could to get help, especially considering everything that you were going through.

You are not a failure because you need a bit of help, especially with everything you are handling right now. It would have been great if you had gotten the help you needed before, but now you should be focused on doing what you can to reduce the stress in your life. Graduating school is obviously a big thing you can do to help yourself. But also, if there is a way you can get more help taking care of family, you may want to make use of that. If there’s another way to access counselling, you may to try that. If meditation, mindfulness exercises, or any other stress management techniques are helpful to you, those are a possibility as well.

There is no shame at all in taking a medication to help you sleep, but I also have confidence that things will get better and you will be able to wean off of it in the future (but it’s okay if you decide not to do this, too). You’re doing great. Things will get better.

You’ve got this.

- Mod Ess

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

The Best Things ~ J.V. (part 8)

A/n: This part is super upsetting. Character death, graphic violence, I dare even say gore. Homophia, which I should have been warning a while back I am so sorry for that. Things are gonna get HEAVY- I am so sorry lol.

Word Count: 3800+

Playlist

Masterlist

"Nah, you're not crazy," Harleen giggled.

"Says you," Y/n teased, rolling his eyes. "You may have a doctorate, but you're also bias."

Her smile widened. "Okay that's fair." Y/n sighed, sitting back in his chair. He looked down at his hands, smile small as he got lost in thought. "What's on your mind?"

"Harleen is kind of a mouthful," Y/n told her. "Do you like the name?"

She tilted her head, as if considering. "I never did. When I was younger I had a friend who called me Lee, but with things happening-" Y/n's face scrunched up and Harleen snorted. "Exactly. Name's already taken- and it would be even weirder if I went by Dr. Lee, so I scratched it."

Y/n nodded. Then he sat forward, his elbows resting on the table. "So you've never had any other nicknames?" She shook her head and then shrugged when Y/n donned a surprise expression. "Well I have to give you one then. That's what friends do, right?" She grinned at Y/n's words and he watched the room get a little brighter. She was magic like that- as if she was made of sunshine. Her happiness was contagious, and she made the world a little better. She was accepting and also calm, making him feel safe as well as loved. She was his best friend and he was hers and they gave each other something they couldn't get with anyone else: unhindered fun with absolutely no expectations. It was an odd place to find real friendship in, but here they were anyway. "What about... Leena?" She immediately shook her head and he chuckled. "Uh... I mean, there's always Harley."

She considered that. "You know what, I like it." She crossed her arms. "Harley Quinzel." She nodded. "I'll allow it."

Y/n rolled his eyes. She was only like four years older than him, but had far too quickly fallen into a rhythm of acting like an adult talking to a child every once in a while, as a joke. Whether she was flaunting the years she had over him, or the schooling, Y/n wasn’t sure, but he refused to acknowledge it and it had become an unspoken inside joke between them. "What about you? I have to give you one now."

Y/n shrugged. "I don't like nicknames."

Harley tilted her head, the bottom of her blonde ponytail brushing her shoulder. "Why not? You like giving them."

"Well, yeah..." He bit his lip. "It's just, every bad guy has a code name, you know? Oswald Cobblepot goes by Penguin. Edward Nygma is going around as Riddler. Then there's Mr. Freeze. I just feel like if I take an alias, it'll be official you know? I'll be as crazy as the people I associate with and as evil as everyone says I am."

Harley hummed. "Okay, that's fair." She sighed, raising her hands to rest her chin in her palm. "Speaking of people you associate with. You and Jerome..."

Y/n's mood darkened. It had been a while now and Oswald was gone and Jerome still hadn't made an appearance. "I think he's mad at me." Harley tilted her head in confusion and Y/n shrugged. "I left with Alfred because Bruce needed me. Didn't give him a heads up, and then went missing for, like, months..." He shook his head. "Maybe he thinks I've gone back to my old life, or that I've left him behind. I just feel like he's avoiding me and one doesn't usually do that for no reason, so I figure-"

"What if he's just busy?" Harley proposed.

Y/n snorted. "With what? Reading a really good book series?"

Harley pursed her lips. "I guess you have a point."

"Why do you even care?" Y/n asked, raising his hands to knit his fingers behind his head.

Harley stared at him silently for a long time. She had the look on her face she always does when she'd trying to read Y/n's mind. When she's analyzing everything she learned in school and looking at the actions and words that he was currently giving as context, as well as past ones, and then somehow putting it all together to figure out the secrets sometimes even he didn't know. The same magic that made Arkham home also gave her the ability to read minds- Y/n had determined she was a proper superhero.

After she reached some kind of conclusion - she always nodded after she'd done the reading and then switched which leg was crossed over the other - a little smile teased her lips. She was trying to hide it. And failing. Y/n tried not to be curious. Usually when Harley didn't tell him something it was because he wasn't ready to hear it... but that smile. It was too late. He had to know. "What?"

Once he asked, the gate broke and she grinned. "You're in love with him."

Y/n snorted. "No. I'm not." The coy curl of Harley's lips added to her raised eyebrows to make Y/n doubt himself, even though he could feel his feelings and knew that it wasn't... he didn't... no way. "He's important to me," Y/n gave. "I care for him. But... love..." Y/n shook his head. "I don't know about that. There's been too much going on- I haven't had enough time with him."

She nodded, expression serious, as if this was a very important discovery. "I call Maid of Honor at the wedding though." They locked eyes as Y/n went to tell her off, but then a slow smile rose to her face as he realized she was joking. They both busted up into laughter.

"Whoever I marry, the position is yours." He winked at her and she flipped her hair, both of them giggling.

A timer went off. Harley stood, gathering her stuff and sighing. "That's my cue. Same time tomorrow?"Y/n nodded then stood.

He draped his arm around her shoulders. "You know, you make this place bearable. You're a real friend to me." He kissed her forehead. "What would I do without you, hm?"

She rested her head on his shoulder for a second before they began walking and it got too awkward to coordinate. "Probably the same thing I'd do without you. Be alone and miserable." She popped up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. He pretended to gag and she fell into a short fit of soft giggles. "You're an idiot."

"Ah and yet what I lack for a brain, I make up with a big-" He cut off and she groaned. "Heart," he enunciated. He smirked and she rolled her eyes. "I have quite a large heart, full of love for my favorite gal." He shook her slightly, making a point that said gal was her.

"Every lesbian deserves a best friend with as little brains and as big a heart as you," Harley joked.

"And every gay deserves a best friend with as much brain and just as much heart as you." He finally let her go as she moved to the door that would lead outside. This is where they parted- her, to home, as he was her last patient as per usual. Him, further into the Asylum where he would have dinner then return to his room to be alone and sleep. Goodbyes were the pair's least favorite part of the day. "Until we next meet, Madame," Y/n initiated, pulling away to bow deeply.

Harley grabbed her doctor's coat lightly, pulling it out as if it was a dress as she bowed back. "I shall count the seconds." They laughed one last time, waving before she turned and left. He watched her go until she disappeared. She turned back several times to wave yet again, until she couldn't see him either just by turning around.

The second she was out of sight, the world lost a little color. It was a little darker. His smile got smaller and Y/n's shoulders sagged. He shoved his hands in his pockets before turning back to the hallway that lead to his room, beginning the trek.

A hand on his shoulder stopped him. People rarely touched him. The only person that touched him like this was one that Y/n hated so much that his hands curled into fists in his pocket, his face suddenly cold and empty as he stared straight ahead, halfway through a step- his foot on the ground and extended, but not carrying him forward as it had been intended to. He took a deep breath through his nose. Unfortunately, in all the chaos and people getting booted from Arkham after beating on Y/n, the one person that meant the most hadn't been caught because everyone refused to rat him out.

The man who'd started it all.

"You and her..." The older guard mused, a nasty smirk on his ugly face. "I thought you were gay." He said it mockingly, like he'd caught a child who hadn't said they weren’t hungry sneaking food when everyone seemed to be asleep.

Y/n rolled his eyes, forcing his body to relax as he faced the man. The monster. "Not every girl in the world was born solely for men to shove a dick into them, Jameson." The older man glared and Y/n smiled, getting satisfaction. "As a matter of a fact, Harley and I are just friends."

"You're pretty affectionate for just friends," Jameson argued. Y/n still didn't know the man's first name. He didn't care enough too. He didn't want another name that tasted bitter in his mouth. He already had his fingers crossed he'd never meet a cute boy with the last name Jameson, because the name alone would ruin Y/n's chances before he'd even taken a shot. No reason to make it even harder for himself.

"We're comfortable around each other." He rolled his shoulder back once, slightly stiff from sitting so long. Jameson wouldn't attack, knowing that Y/n would report him instantly- especially in such an open space, with cameras and the chance of someone rounding the corner any second - but one could never be too safe, just in case. "She gets me like no one else does. But, as you so wonderfully pointed out, I'm GAY." Y/n enunciated the word, going the extra mile by taking a step closer to stress it even more. "Girls aren't my thing."

Jameson looked like he wanted to deck Y/n. The younger boy's lips curved into a mocking smile in response. Now the guard was the one who had to control himself. "You guys have a lot in common?"

Y/n shrugged, too caught up in his casual gloating that Jameson couldn't act out like he wanted to- like he used to be able to. "Enough. We talk a lot. She's cool." He relaxed thinking about Harley. "She doesn't think I'm crazy. It's nice." He cleared his throat, focusing back on the enemy in front of him... only to immediately be confused by the very odd expression on Jameson's face. "What?"

"Nothing," the man dismissed, moving to leave. "I've heard enough. You're both a waste." He shook his head as he left and Y/n glared at his back until he was gone. Then the boy turned back toward the cell and finally made his way.

Man, why did he have to be surrounded by such assholes? Why couldn't Harley be around all the time? Why couldn't he be free? They could get an apartment and talk all the time. Help each other get through life and protect each other from unwanted attention. Be themselves all the time. Make jokes and exchange irritated expressions when idiots like Jameson said stupid shit like he always tended to.

Tomorrow. He'd see her tomorrow. That wasn't too far away.

He could wait until then.

-

Y/n's knees gave out from under him and he fell, cracking them on the cement. He didn't even feel it. His attention was being completely held by the TV, which was turned onto the news. It was a small screen that had been installed in one of the Day Rooms recently. They were rarely ever allowed to watch the news, though. In places like Gotham, far too often the news held very upsetting content that set inmates off- either into panics, or into violent rages. Y/n had stood to turn it off when he'd realized what news was being shared. Someone had been murdered. Old news. This was Gotham. Then he'd heard the name.

"23-year-old Harleen Quinzel was found dead earlier today. Her body was badly beaten, with words carved into her stomach. It was the cuts on her wrist that were the cause of death, though it's been determined that none of this was self inflicted. We received a photo of the body recently. Beware: what you're about to see is not for the faint of heart."

Suddenly the screen was showing the broken body of Y/n's best friend. The sunshine girl with the bright smile and the contagious laugh. The girl who was going to be Y/n's Maid of Honor. Y/n's better half. She was limp and unmoving, her eyes wide and empty. Her skin was pale, nearly white, except for where dark, huge bruises and blood discolored it. Her hair had been cut off, the blonde locks left next to her head but clearly detached. Her shirt had been rolled up to letters on her stomach- carved as promised.

There was an L next to a G, in a circle and crossed through once. Underneath the symbol read: Sinner.

Someone was talking, but Y/n couldn't make out what they were saying. A hand in his shoulder and he looked over to see a concerned guard. A woman. She knelt next to Y/n, but she wasn't the one touching him. No, that hand belonged to Jameson, who had a sick expression on his face- a cross between smugness and victory, muted as if he was trying to hide it, badly masked by some version of concern that was so unconvincing that Y/n ripped his shoulder out of the older man's hand.

He was on his feet again and running. Out of the room and to his cell- despite all the people who kept asking him what was going on, and someone in the very back changing the channel as the news reporter announced, "If you have any information, please contact-" Y/n ignored the rules. He ignored the people yelling at him. He ignored the people trying to stop him. He just started running and he didn't stop until he was in his room, where he opened the door and closed it behind him. His heart was ramming against his chest and all he could hear was the rushing of his blood in his ears. He saw black spots and felt an emotion bubble up that he couldn't even begin to put name to. All he knew was that it was dark and twisting and it was very quickly consuming everything good.

Something in him broke. It snapped off. Something vital. Y/n was aching, but he didn't know what it was or where it had fallen to as he lost it. He just knew there was suddenly a gaping hole where something very important used to be, and he felt absolutely terrible with it gone.

On the upside, he could finally breathe. His chest loosened and his body relaxed and as the door opened behind him, he turned to see the person with complete calm.

"Jameson." The word was not a greeting, but more of an observation. No. It was an accusation. The older man smiled and Y/n's insides began to twist and boil- less like a tightening of anxiety and more like a snake, seconds from attacking. "Why?" He stepped forward. "She was innocent."

Jameson scoffed. "You think you two are subtle? You two act like you're together and then talk about how you're not- you just 'get' each other." Jameson shook his head, cracking his knuckles. "You're spreading your sickness, Y/n." The snake coiled tighter, hissing and spitting. Y/n felt his calmness very quickly drop, perfectly placed with rage. His body didn't move, he just suddenly had a bunch of energy and he was waiting for the perfect moment to use it. "You two aren't quiet either. Strutting around here acting so out of line, in front of me. Acting like you're not being evil." Jameson scoffed. "You're evil, Y/n. And if they wouldn't let me punish you here, I'd have to get more creative. Even if you don't see it, you're in love with her. What you think you are is unnatural, and I knew if you could see how you really feel-"

Y/n's hand was around the man's throat. Jameson tried to push the younger boy away or claw his hand off, but Y/n just rammed him into the wall behind him. Jameson's head cracked against the grey wall, his efforts suddenly becoming useless. "You think I'm dangerous as a disease? You're so desperate to cure me. You're about to find just how very dangerous I am, Jameson. All on my own, with just my two hands." And then he began to squeeze. Jameson writhed and fought and clawed but when he started to get strong, Y/n would smash his head again or ram his knee into the man's junk and the efforts died down once again.

It took longer than Y/n thought. Jameson started to change color, his eyes bulging and his lips moving desperately but nothing coming in or out. Just when the man seemed about ready to pass out, Y/n let him drop to the floor. He gasped, clawing to try and get away. Y/n smiled, toeing the door gently closed. Jameson squirmed away, features taken over completely with terror. Y/n felt amazing.

"You will never hurt another person, ever again." Y/n squatted down, taking the man's thin hair in his hands. "Me however?" Y/n giggled. "You've helped create a monster. Know that every person I kill in the future is on your hands. Every injury is your fault. I'm not a violent person, Jameson." He snorted. "Well, I wasn't. But it seems you fuckwads only answer to violence, so..." Y/n shrugged casually. Jameson shook his head, choking out pleads for his life. Y/n snapped the man's neck and he stopped begging. It was so easy... The silence was wonderful. Y/n felt a weight lift off of his shoulders. "I'm done sitting idly while assholes run Gotham." Y/n stood, not even bothering to do anything but leave the door wide open as he walked calmly away, grinning like an idiot.

Something had been broken and lost indeed. It was Y/n's self control. His moral compass that kept him grounded and toeing the line between good and bad. It was the thing that kept reminding him he was a Wayne. That he was a good person. That he had a family that depended on him, in some way or another. That he had Alfred and Bruce, who he did want to visit even if he also wanted a life outside of them. That he had Oswald, who most often found solace in Y/n's sanity and depended on his restraint to reel him in when people were trying to set him off; Oswald needed Y/n's sense to balance his emotions. And, overall, Y/n was driven by pure spite not to let those damn reporters be right. He would be good and successful and he would show all of them that he could be more than the black sheep of the Wayne family. The disappointment of Gotham. The failure, always in the shadow of the Golden Boy younger brother Bruce Wayne.

But those people who Y/n cared about so much had let people like Jameson walk around, unhindered and unchecked. They had let him get beat up for a very long time before he was nearly killed and their hand was forced. They had let evil people run around and control things while they locked up Y/n for being gay. For being attracted to a man even though he wasn't a woman. There were murderers running wild, with super powers and incredible genius, but the problem people were deciding to focus on was that Y/n was gay.

Well, he was done with the lot of them. He was going to get out and prove to all of them that he was more than a Wayne. More than a mistake. More than a shadow. More than evil or good. More than Bruce's older brother. More than the one dude who had feelings for Jerome Valeska. More than one more gay plague on the face of the planet.

They wanted a monster? They would get one. And Y/n wasn't going to stop until he was satisfied, even if it meant all of Gotham had to die.

-

"Knock knock."

The door opened and Y/n looked over, his face finally showing emotion as his surprise rose. "Jerome?"

The redhead smiled, striding toward Y/n as if he has a tasty treat to share. "My little lover boy." Jerome hooked his finger under Y/n's chin. Y/n yanked his face away. Jerome frowned. "Are you mad at me, pretty boy?" Y/n glared at him. "I'll take that as a yes." He leaned backward. "What have I done, My Darling?"

"You've been avoiding me. We haven't talked in, like, months Jerome. What the fuck?"

"A tad dramatic," Jerome hushed. "And not totally fault." Y/n opened his mouth to argue but Jerome gently grabbed Y/n's throat, pressing his fingers gently into the skin. Their faces were suddenly very close and despite himself, Y/n suddenly felt a thrill to finally feel their skin touch as cheek brushed cheek. "I've been busy planning our escape, if you hadn't noticed." Y/n's eyes drifted to see a nervous Jonathan Crane and Jervis Tetch. "Come with me, won't you? I think we've been apart long enough."

Y/n suddenly began to relax. He didn't manage to smile, but he did get excited. "Well... lead the way."

Jerome left an excited kiss on Y/n's cheek, letting his hand fall away from Y/n's throat in favor of shooting into the air in victory as he giggled, turning to his two partners. "And so we all escape! Come now, we don't have much time." Y/n stood as Jerome lead the way, all four of the men finding their way out of Arkham Asylum finally.

The fun was about to begin.