#the tags are longer than the post at this point because i am unhinged and i cannot be stopped. sorry.
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for the purposes of reading porn, i am now considering myself a trans girl who somehow has a cervix and a womb. if people can't be arsed to write smut without referencing wombs and cervixes and making specific note of somebody having both a vagina and an asshole or write shit like "all three holes" then i am just gonna get high enough to forget that i ain't got that kinda equipment.
#this is a complaint but it is a complaint that will also lead to me feeding my breeding kink#so it's a win win situation really#but no for real it's twenty fuckin 24. write inclusive porn. it's not that fucking hard. or just#be up front. and say your shit isn't for transfems (or for pre/non-op ones). that's fine. sometimes shit isn't for you (me) and that's fine#i might think your kinda jerk. but in the same way that i think someone getting pizza delivered to their house is a jerk cuz i don't get an#not the end of the world.#just kinda sucks to get halfway through something relatable and then whoops here's a reminder y'all weren't thinking about trans women agai#maybe that's a me thing not being able to imagine having that equipment and more weed will fix it. i'll be testing that theory#the tags are longer than the post at this point because i am unhinged and i cannot be stopped. sorry.
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hi! just wanted to say that i was recently looking for lore on the ferru ferri relationship so ur lore post is perfect timing and *chefs kiss* đ¤ i fully support ur unhingedness about them bc i'm getting there too LOL i would love to know more about the facts/lore/thoughts u have on them if u'd like to share ! :D
i actually need to thank you because it was the tags on one of your rbs + talking with another mutual that pushed me to finally finish and post. so thank you!! âŚand sorry for what's about to happen here. would i like to share more thoughts, YES I WOULD.
(eta: this thing is LONGER than the original and also significantly more unhinged. so like⌠fair warning.)
first of all here are an assortment of facts/links/quotes that didn't make the final lorepost cut:
about all those times ferru drops by the academy: for example, this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this.
then there is this classic roland garros 2011 "choose a player" questionnaire. ferru picked juanki for THREE separate answers: who would you share a nice bottle of wine with, who would you open a bar with, andâwait for itâwho would you hit on girls with.Â
i mean, i get it. juanki's looks are ideal bait. i see it happen every day on tumblr dot com. but a truly unfortunate number of scenarios do immediately unroll before the mind's eye.
david ferrer's official 2004 atp media biography included "says his most inspirational player is countryman juan carlos ferrero"
juanki's official atp tour dot com bio includes this typically restrained ferru testimonial: "He was and is my best friend on the tour. He's a person that is very close to me... Heâs a very humble and noble person." elsewhere: "He's an even better person than he is a player, which is very difficult."
(juanki's bio is a wholeass novella and ferru's is THE most bare bones bullet points. ferru stop being so fucking modest challenge!!)
juanki used to visit javea to play football with ferru and his hometown friends. ferru are you making your girlfriend hang out with your friendsgroup.
select topics from the david ferrer official forums: "stayed with juan carlos before leaving for the davis cup." (juanki himself was not called up.) "went to a nice restaurant with juan carlos and had paella." "spending new year's eve at juan carlos' hotel."
according to juanki's blog they would watch world cup matches together at ferru's house?? cute.
especially cute since juanki is a real madrid fan and ferru is a barcelona fan. (although he's more outspoken about supporting valencia cf.) here is an amazing photo of a clasico watch party in the cincy locker room.
honestly this is just some sponsor promo content but i am dying to know what the inside joke at 1:15 is about. what are you smiling about juan carlos. why is ferru trying not to laugh. answer me.
ok easy stuff out of the way. i'm just going to warn you in advance that there are a cool 3000 words under the cut so uh... brace yourself i guess. don't open on mobile. topics include:Â
some Narratives
thoughts on the dynamic (past)
101 reasons to love david ferrer
behind the music: juan carlos ferrero
thoughts on the dynamic (present)
i didn't link more than a few quotes but if you want sources for anything in particular just drop me a reply or an ask.
finally, in addition to Facts and Anecdotes this includes what is by definition rampant speculation because i don't know these guys and never will. we cannot fully know public figures, we are making the shadows on the wall of plato's cave kiss, you know the drill.
the Narratives
first of all. the opposite narratives of their careers are soooooooooo compelling to me. like, juanki was a child prodigyâjunior world champion, junior roland garros finalist, bursting onto the pro scene age 19 and winning his first title just a month later. then clinching spain's first davis cup, roland garros sf-sf-final-title, us open final, world number one. all by age 23! expectations were through the ROOF.
âŚand then 2004 hit and he fell off a cliff and never recovered. (injury, mentality, and incredible bad luck, like oh this man is CURSED cursed. he missed multiple tournaments because of chicken pox.) in september 2003 he was world no. 1; 17 months later he was no. 98. he never did make it back into the top ten.
meanwhile, ferru wasâi mean obviously he was talented. he won stuff in juniors. but no one was talking about him as the future of spanish tennis, yk? he even quit when he was 17⌠for a week. (lol.) he was inconsistent, vulnerable to meltdowns. he first appeared on most people's radars when he beat agassi in rome in 2003, but then not again until a brief spike in 2007âmade the USO semis, made the master's cup final, world no. 5. and then he, too, slumped.
but he did not give up. ever.
he climbed out of the slump and just kept climbing up, and up, and up. the best year of his career was 2012-2013, age thirtyâseven titles, masters title, roland garros final, world no. 3. the second-best was 2015, age thirty-two. top 10 for 292 straight weeks, 2010-2016. ferru is like. the ultimate proof of how dogged persistence pays off if you just. keep. trying. â wow tumblr user alacants is he your favorite or something.
the arcs intersect in ~2008-2010, when they were especially joined at the hip. they're both strugglingâjuanki dropped out of the top 100 for the first time, ferru's treading water in the low teens and saying he'll never reach the heights of 2007 againâand both right on the verge of a revival. juanki won his first title in 5+ years in 2009, kickstarting an 18 month last-gasp renaissance that included davis cup hero, more titles, more finals, as high as no. 14. for a few weeks. ferru slowly and surely got his feet back under him. (he calls the dc 09 final a turning point.) around those back-to-back finals in 2010, they were hovering right around the same rankâjuanki even jumped ahead a couple places. and then juanki's body finally called it quits, and ferru started to really take off.Â
so that window is probably the peak of the pre-retirement dynamic. what IS that dynamic, you ask? great question.
the dynamic (past)
first i must note that although i myself led the lore post with the quotes about how they've been friends forever, something i find super cute/funny is that there seems to be an element of historical revisionism at work there? like, ferru didn't come to the academy until he was 17 (1999, the year juanki went pro), and their hometowns aren't THAT close. and ferru spent a couple years in barcelona as well. so although they clearly knew each other from an early age, it's unlikely that they were like. besties. but if you ask them, it's oh yeah we've been friends foreverrrr.
anyway. dynamics, 2002-2012:
mutual security blanket
introvert (situational) 4 introvert (intrinsic)
senpai/kouhai
chronic patient/emotional support rescue dog
fighter/sacrifice
king/lionheart, where the king was overthrown 10 years ago and now they're living in exile and the loyal retainer is earning their keep by the swordâ
what do i mean by 90% of thisâok, first, web 1.0 tangent: beginning relatively early in ferru's career there was a fan forum on his official website. ferrru, who in those days was blatantly uncomfortable with the fan/star dynamic, immediately set about trying to like. befriend everyone on it. no fans here, we're all just friends! he would post regular life updates and then hang around in the thread just. chatting. he would remember details like where posters lived and who their other faves were and TEASE them about it. he hosted a christmas dinner in his hometown for anyone who wanted to make the trip. this is obviously unsustainable past a certain point of success but while it lasted it was just. so charming.
so ferru took his self-appointed role as juanki handler very seriously. like, i joke about "xx news and publicity bureau," but ferru really was. he would regularly post updates about juanki's health and recovery progress. he would answer questions. juanki's fans would come to ferru for updates!! couple this with the comments about how they tried to enter the same tournaments and generally traveled together/stayed in the same hotels, along with juanki's incredible run of illness and injury, and it's just like. ferru is juanki's designated spokesperson, his interface with the cold cruel world, his shield arm/support animal.
mutually supportive, but also: ferru clearly gets a lot of validation out of doing things for other people. he is always describing himself in terms such as, "i'm nothing special, i just try to be a really good friend." this is an acts of service guy all the way down.
(you ARE special, ferru, listen to me and juan carlosâ)
i do think it was an evolutionâferru especially credits juanki with supporting him in the early days on tour. so i see it as like... friendly face showing the new kid the ropes, giving him advice, and then suddenly they're pulling even, and then even more suddenly ferru is the one equipped to provide the support.
introvert (situational): namely, juanki describes himself as shy, but he loves being the center of attention. he doesn't act out to get it but he very much enjoys it when it comes. (early quote re: what he likes about tennis: "all the people cheering for me in the big stadiums.") (it's also worth noting that he was the youngest child and the much-anticipated only son. lmao.) at the same time the media describe him as reserved, and he visibly dislikes talking about personal stuff. direct quote: "you can see how uncomfortable he is talking about his familyâŚ"Â
so at first the press calls him "the monk of villena", he lives in the middle of nowhere, his lifestyle isn't flashy*, he's so humble, wow. but alllllso he loves fast cars and throwing parties at his hotel. he befriends other famous spanish athletes like sergio garcia and sete gibernau. and there are some wiiiiiiiiiild pictures from players' parties through the years.Â
(*the contemporary gossip was also that maybe he was out having a little more fun than he let on, lol.)
so maybe it's accurate to say he's doesn't like being out of his depth? doesn't like unfamiliar situations. but likeâi have seen the records and they do not lie. juan carlos looooves beingâsorryâdoted upon.
(this btw is why someone dedicating their tournament victory to him in front of god and the city of valencia and everyone was probably what you could call an effective tactic.)Â
meanwhile ferru's favorite hobby is READING. he is famous for always having a book in the locker room. "i can get through 3 books in a 2 week tournament and i keep every book i read." (â man who ebooks were invented for.) his idea of a perfect day is going to the beach in his hometown ("the best beach in the world") with his family and his friends and then having paella. he's a cat person. he's perfect? SORRY. I'M TRYING SO HARD TO BE NORMAL. anyway genuinely think this is the person you would find in the corner at a party befriending the host's cat.
âok fuck normal i need to talk about ferru some more.
some very normal thoughts about david ferrer
as a player ferru had uhhhhh well maybe it was an inferiority complex or maybe it was a self-defense strategy playing in the big four era or maybe he was just unbelievably hard on himself. but for a long time he was out there saying stuff like, i'm the worst player in the top hundred. i'm the worst player in the top ten.
the thing is. it's impossible to talk about ferru without bringing up the closet story. you can read it here. c. 2007 this was reported as like, a humorous character-building anecdote????? because ferru brushed it off ("once in there i didn't think much" <- bad sign!!!) and said things like "i learned everything from him, about tennis and how to be a person." ok ferru, but what if you learned the wrong things.Â
i mean, what do i know. i don't know any of these people, i'm (mostly) not here to pseudo-psychoanalyze. i just don't think it's UNrelated that ferru explicitly compared their eventual coaching split to a breakup and later implied that he should have cut the cord earlier but couldn't bring himself to do it. or that afterwards he started going to therapy, "personal, not sport," and says he wishes he'd started when he was 20.Â
he stayed with that coach until he was 31 btw. there is loyal and then there is whatever the hell this is.
how do you reconcile this with today's happy and well-adjusted davis cup captain? many possibilities, such as his very own family (they're so cute, they are so cute) and 20 years of personal growth. also probably the therapy. and tbf by the end of the career he'd already gotten a lot better about the self-deprecation. but he still has a worldview that is uh refreshing verging on eye-watering. he's repeatedly said that being a professional athlete doesn't make you particularly special or interesting. asked whether as a known reader he's thinking about writing a memoir: "I'm not that important and I donât believe I can contribute that much to the society⌠there are so many people that can contribute much more." â ferru STOP.
(speaking of the adorable family: although this post is mainly about silly shipping nonsense and not irl romantic relationships i DO think it's instructive that ferru appears to have dated exactly two (2) women in the entirety of his adult life. one gf age 17-26, one age 27-present. this man's natural mode is Devotion.)
anyway my main point here is that it probably felt real good to have someone on tour in his corner. someone who hadn't ever locked him in a closet.
(there is a lot more to unpack about ferru but if you're sitting here like "but what about uso 2008" or whatever trust me it's solely for the sake of not making this insanely long post EVEN LONGER and i am happy to share my thoughts upon request lol.)
some very normal thoughts about juan carlos ferreroÂ
IN CONTRAST... one of the funniest things about revisiting old press is constantly hearing juan carlos ferrero described as "humble" when my man has a VERY healthy opinion of himself. this isn't a bad thing. it's arguably better than calling yourself the worst player in the top one hundred. it is however a problem when the person you feel threatened by is. rafa nadal.Â
i initially had an 800 word tangent here that has now been exiled to its own post. the short version of this is juanki got dropped in favor of rafa in the 2004 davis cup final and never forgot it, lol. a number of other perceived sins were committed including 1) rome 2008 media coverage 2) dc 2009 president's speech 3) valencia open 2013, how dare rafa spurn juanki's beloved child tournament. but really it was that rafa became who juanki was supposed to be. :(
juanki's got a lot of pride! another example: madrid master's 2008. yet again juanki is in bad shape. at no. 44 he just missed the main draw. so he asked for a wild card⌠and didn't get one. that was genuinely an insult considering he was the 2003 champion and that wc #3 went to (consults notes) fabio fognini, ranked 73. the spanish sports media were up in arms. juanki said he was so insulted that even if they offered him a spot he wouldn't take it.
âŚso when carlos moya pulled out they didn't waste their time. "he said he didn't want it so we gave it to someone else." oh, juanki.
(ferru's measured thoughts on this decision btw: "The absence of Juan Carlos Ferrero is outrageous and insane. This only happens in Spain. It's a huge tragedy and, above all, an injustice for a player like him, who's been number one in the world and previously won this tournament.")
so, juanki: proud, outspoken when he's angry, reserved when he's not. to the extent that when he started saying ferru was his best friend on circuit his fans were like wait. what. this is brand-new information.Â
you will notice that throughout this post there are a Lot of heart-on-sleeve quotes from ferru, and fewer from juanki. what happens is that when you don't talk about your feelings, they explode without warning in Grand Gestures. juanki LOVES a Grand Gesture. ferrufest 2k19 is the most notable but far from only instance, see also organizing special surprises at their special tournament. (the open letter is somewhere in the middle, i would be fascinated to know if he would have been that forthcoming if asked point blank. i mean, maybe so!!!! personal growth!!!)
sidenote, but imo you can see the exact same dichotomy at work with juanki and carlos, where he goes out of his way to reject the we're-like-family premise and then acts the exact opposite. ("i leave the father thing to his actual father." ok juan carlos.) he used to do the same thing wrt his own coach since childhood, "i wouldn't call him a father figure, that would be weirdâŚ" this is how you end up naming things after people and bursting into tears in public! â the fact that he's a capital-c Crier makes it even more obvious.
you will ALSO notice that despite that 7-2 h2h juanki sure never had any problem with ferru. lol. the appeal presumably goes without saying of a friend who is shouldering his way in among the ~big four and STILL out here in the year of our lord 2009 saying things like, â[Ferrero] is one of the best players in history on clay⌠I think he can win Roland Garros again. Nadal and Federer will be there but Juan Carlos will be right there behind them. Why not?"
(fwiw i think all of this is very like⌠normal and human. it's why it's so fun to put him under a microscope.)
and what is also true is that no matter how much you think juanki's life is the academy, it's more than that. he is the academy. like it was founded specifically for him (well, his cohort of young players, of which he was far and away the most promising), and his coach included him in conversations about the Vision and the long-term goals from day one. he lived there with a ROOMMATE for years and years after going pro, despite owning like⌠a nice house in the city of valencia. (â maybe also a reason he didn't get married until well after retirement lmao.) so when he starts naming parts of the academy after you... it's a Big Deal.
âincidentally it must be comforting to have a ready-made identity on hand when "generational spanish tennis talent" turns out to go. not the way you thought it would.
hm not doing a great job avoiding the pseudo-psychoanalysis, am i. well. i tried.
thoughts on the dynamic (present)
dynamics, 2024:
will-they-won't-they x 20 years
(life) partners
â¨â¨â¨ co-parents â¨â¨â¨
that one is so overwhelmingly dominant it sort of overshadows everything else. lmao.
king/lionheart STILL only now the one-time king has returned from exile to be an advisor to the new princeâ
tbh now that they are both retired and both have their own families they are a little less codependent. normal best friends, i almost said, before remembering the fucking portrait commission. do you think that's hanging up in ferru's house???? i ask myself this every day.
what do i think has changed? ferru is (wonderfully) much less self-effacing. juanki successfully reinvented himself as a top coach. after juanki retired i think they finally started to relate as⌠i'm not saying they weren't equals before that but maybe to some people (ferru) it didn't feel like they were. and ferru is clearly in his element as dc captain, where his job is literally to be the entire team's emotional support dog. emotional support pack leader? once again: who needs hierarchy, we're all friends here. (he gave coaching a brief shot but it didn't stickâthis my personal theory as to why. based on nothing other than intuition lol.)
hm this section is suspiciously resembling "ferru: the postscript." well we all see a lot of juanki, he's doing great lol. if anything i think having ferru around is good for him, keeps him from getting too martyred. every time ferru and carlitos TEAM UP to tease juanki is jfkldajf;l so delightful. (to modestly quote my own tag, "just two dogs yapping at their favorite cat.")
but shipping nonsense aside: i genuinely think it is really lovely and heart-warming to see two people who clearly mean so much to each other and are still such a big part of each other's lives after so longâeven/especially despite the changes. some people grow apart. some people grow together. :)
and if you want to throw in twenty years of pining SO MUCH THE BETTER
--
christ that is. so much text. uhhhh hopefully this was informative/entertaining/morbidly fascinating, and everyone who reads it will feel mysteriously compelled to start including ferruero subplots in their sincaraz fic. :D?? :D????
you have SO many options. practically married. one-sided pining for many years. (whooo in this post sounds like they would do that.) MUTUAL pining for many years. practically married but haven't realized it. tour arrangement but they caught feelings. second-chance romance years after a youthful failed fling. the parent trap, starring carlitos alcarazâ [curtain falls as i am forcibly dragged from the stage]
#david ferrer#juan carlos ferrero#if you click on that keep reading cut you know exactly what you're getting into. so don't come crying to me.#made in valencia
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Thank you!
This may end up being a long, rambly post because I'm a little emotional. But bear with me.
I am so incredibly thankful for all the love you've sent this week, and it humbles me to realise how much this silly little parody blog meant to people. Thank you for reading, liking, reblogging, commenting, asking, going absolutely unhinged in the tags... I read them all, and they've spurred me to keep going through 32 months, over 5000 posts, 40GB of screenshots and the wildest, most brilliant time of my life.
I'd love to thank people individually, but there's so many of you that I would inevitably miss someone out and that seems unfair! But I will say a special thank you to the She-Ra Uncut team, who I'm proud to consider some of the greatest friends I've made through this fandom, and whether we make many wonderful things, or never make anything again, I hope we can consider each other friends for life.
(Sob story time, feel free to skip!) In 2015, I had a huge breakdown. I was off work for 8 months, in hospital for a week, had therapy twice a week for a year... It was fucking awful. And though I got better, I never really felt like I had a reason to, and that I was just treading water until the darkness came back with vengeance. Then, as She-Ra ended, I made some silly posts that ended up as Etheria Nine-Nine, which led me onto what would become Sweary She-Ra. I had no idea how much this would change my life.
The response to this blog led me to write a script for a She-Ra Uncut trailer, and I loved it. I wrote more and developed a love for the craft, that I wanted to continue. It became a joy, and gave me a dream for the first time I could remember. So I kept writing, I kept learning and improving. In September 2022, I was sat in the Lowry theatre in Salford surrounded by the laughter of an audience watching a play that I wrote. That was the most incredible feeling of my life.
And I wouldn't have had that without thinking "Catra should be allowed to say fuck".
So while, it may be over (and it was pointed out to me that Sweary She-Ra ran for longer than the actual show did!), it's hopefully not the end. I'm very keen to make an audio sequel if I can, maybe several, and I'm not going to disappear into the ether. And hey, I don't know what the future will bring.
But there is a future.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you, everyone.
Alice.
(PS - Hi Crew-Ra, if you're reading this as I maybe suspect one or two of you may be. I am sorry but also not sorry, but also hire me when the strikes are over đ. Thank you for making She-Ra, I love you!)
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xvn fic recs !!
i have been meaning to do this for a while : mostly because fic recs are fun to compile and also thee seems to be a BIG shortage of any fic rec posts!! so here are some fics i have enjoyed over the years!! ofc this list is non exhaustive please note the ratings of each fic and heed the tags before reading! sorry, that i am putting in the shorter summary
anyway!! feel free to put in more fic recs too!! :D
End OTW Racism | over the edge of all our knowings by merthurlin [ G, 10,146 words , 1/1 ]
Years down the line, after the whole business with Lumine and her brother has been concluded, Venti decides to go on a world tour. He sends Xiao letters.
merthurlin got me into xiaoven so ofc my list starts with her fic! this is just so so sweet and even if its not necessarily fluffy there is a warmth to the writing it is a comfort read for me! i recommend every work by her (regardless of fandom). though in xvn End OTW racism | never dreamed of nobody like you is another excellent fic!
nocturne by yanrans [ T, 34,540 words, 4/4 ]
In which Venti sells magical music boxes, Xiao is his unwitting customer, and there is absolutely, definitely nothing more to it at all.
modern au where venti is - a scammer? - i mean a music box seller and xiao is just a regular guy and and. its funny and delightful and absolutely breath taking. i wouldnt elaborate more so as not to spoil anything further but the fic has many unexpected surprises in it! yanrans is another writer i definitely recommend to check out more! their writing style is very flamboyant and poetic.
what hides in neon shadow by morii_tea [ T, 7,547 words, 1/1 ]
In which Xiao is a cyborg, Venti is a thief, and the glittering city of Teyvat hides more secrets than theyâre prepared to find out.
its so rare to see morally grey venti is potrayed (even though he isnt v morally grey but still. xiao having to remembering that venti isnt as honourable as he appears is yesssss wohoo). this fic has some thrilling action and a v fun cyberpunk world!! i wish it was longer but it is v exciting nevertheless
every morning in the dark by magicites [ M, 77,124 words, 34/34 ]
Stuck in a time loop where he succumbs to his karmic debt, Xiao struggles to see the point in moving forward. Venti struggles to save him.
READ THE TAGS!!! character death and suicidal thoughts are two major warnings. but DAMN this fic it's just so. SO FULL of everything WRONG with xiao!! and venti too but such a GREAT angst fic!! it gets everything so Right. magicites also happened to have written one of my most favourite genshin fic too :] and if you havent read her other works!! you are missing out!!
the half-life of the yaksha is absolute by GStK [ G, 1,000 words, 1/1 ]
Venti digs his thumbs in to keep open the wound but it is too late His gaze snaps over to the teal essence dancing over Xiaoâs fingers. Now all those words will belong to him And Venti will belong to him, only.
READ THE TAGS!! now that i have went into the time loop fic ofc i have to mention the beautiful corrupt xiao prose. the imagery is flowery and grotesque!
foreigner's god by smallghosts [ T, 3,818 words, 1/1 ]
Lord Barbatos falls asleep for a few hundred years. Xiao copes with his absence in strange ways.
a pre-canon fic where xiao becomes - in a way - a worshipper? it's SO GOOD. its about the yearning!!!!!!!!! SCREAMS i dont think i have to explain further
love me like you do by Limerancy [ T, 3,000 words, 1/1 ]
They arenât the kind of friends that touch.
TOUCH STARVED AND TOUCH AVERSE XIAO!!!!!! this fic makes me a lil bit feral. a little unhinged. i absolutely enjoy reading about the yearning , the desire JUST!!!! AAAA. this writer also writes v fluffy modern au one shots!!! so be sure to check them out too :)
The Kissing Tree by Princeliest [ G, 7,581 words, 2/2 ]
Venti kisses Xiao, and Xiao does not understand why.
VENTI COMMITMENT ISSUES!!!!! as much as i adore reading xiao angst, venti angst is still something i love seeking out and its a tragedy that its not explored enough in this ship :c but anyway!!! such amazing characterization and exploration!! princeliest is one of fav genshin writers and this fic delivers!
wishing on dandelions all of the time by OedipusOctopus [ T, 8,270 words, 1/1 ]
When Venti first catches sight of the swords artfully hung on the wall of his new roommate's bedroom, he regrets putting up the sublease on Craigslist. Firmly believing this guy is a total weirdo, Venti is more surprised than anyone when he realizes the total weirdo is actually adorable. It's not against some invisible Roommate Code to dream about kissing your roommate, right?
ofc there is a classic roommate au fic!! this was one of my most favourite fic from last years xvn week: its hilarious and silly and just a perfect relaxing read!! the characterization and their banter is so entertaining i admit i have read this multiple times!
Where Words Fail by kavvueh [ T, 27,926 words, 11/12 ]
"You're Barbatos," Xiao repeats breathlessly. The young man in front of him nods. "Yep." "But..." Xiao cuts himself off and tries again. "You're the God of songs and poetry." The Anemo Archon nods his head sagely. "More or less." Xiao fixes Lord Barbatos with the most incredulous look he can manage. "... You're failing Music Theory."
this fic is such a delight!! it has some light background lore, some silly shenanigans, miscommunications, pinning - a truly fun mixture! the fic is v light hearted but written with a lot of tenderness. i am v excited to see its conclusion!
what queer sins stain thy soul by Anonymous [ M, 3,232 words, 1/1 ]
In which Xiao, long-established asexual, learns that identity is not as stable as heâd like to believe.
there is some explicit things in it (in non explicit way) i believe religious guilt is one of the best flavouring to xvn. it is an under-explored area in this ship imo and this fic not only has that but also!!! asexuality !!!!!! this fic so so personal and its exploration of desire that gets to me a lot
unholy virtues by morphasia [ E, 17,065 words, 6/6 ]
In exchange for his body in more ways than one, Venti summons a demon to reclaim something that has been stolen from him. It's a just contract. That's all it's supposed to be. That's all it was ever supposed to be.
READ THE TAGS!!! this fic truly went creature/creature. this au is just so fascinating and funny in a twisted way (but not bad). this fic isnt for everyone though but it is definitely worth the shot.
#luna rambles#genshin impact#xiaoven#venxiao#thats all i think ?#anyway this made me realize that i forget to bookmark so many fics.....#whoops#and also that i tend to like fics on how much i like venti's characterization. hehe#but yeah this is non exhaustive list! if someone wants to add they can ofc! sorry for my over commentary#and even though i repeat it in the post itself 13804 times: check out other works by the writers!!!#i wanted to include more but. but the post is so long already you know? like i couldve done a shorter format BUT AAAAAA#i could idk it's just not. the same#making such posts is just a destress activity to me tbh
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watchlist tag game!
tagged by @phneltwrites!
here's what i am currently watching/have just watched/am planning to watch (spoilers: it's all kdramas):
just finished:
hospital playlist: 10/10, ultimate comfort watch, i love everyone in this bar. it took us a while to finish the second season but it was so, so worth it. i laughed, i cried, i'm going to miss them so much.
weak hero class 1 (immediate rewatch): 11/10, never expected to get clotheslined by another stellar drama in the span of less than six months bad enough that it made me immediately want to go write fic, but here we are. i'm going to write a separate rec post for this one, but for all the school 2013/heungsoon enjoyers out there, this is required watching. it has everything: amazing acting, stellar storytelling, so, so much incredibly well-executed tension, unhinged, violent high schoolers, revenge, useless adults, failing institutions and social commentary on the cycles of abuse. also some of the best chemistry between the leads i've seen in a long while. (what i mean is: since my country: the new age.)
currently watching:
duty after school: since we're apparently on a school setting kick, we went straight from weak hero to this one, and it's been also really good so far. the premise sounds delightfully weird at first (aliens come to earth in the shape of strange spheres hanging in the sky, and in anticipation of the possible attack, third-year high school students get enrolled into an afterschool military training program in exchange for additional points on their university entrance exam, since early admissions have been cancelled), but things go to hell pretty quickly.
hometown cha-cha-cha: aka the drama we started last summer, but we are continuing our tradition of watching an episode or two, then taking a break for two months before watching another episode or two, so everything is going according to plan here. good for when you want a low-stakes, chill drama with some pretty views.
save me: we watched the first episode and we'll definitely continue. so far it's intriguing and creepy, and it has woo dohwan in it, so i'm guaranteed some aesthetic crying if nothing else.
racket boys: for when you're missing haikyuu. we also watched the first episode and we'll definitely continue at some point, because sometimes all you want is to watch a bunch of kids enthusiastic about a sport overcome the odds through hard work and the power of friendship.
joseon attorney: lmao, let me tell you, this was not love at first sight. i hated the first ~40 minutes of the first episode and barely managed to finish. fortunately, it improved a bit in the last 20 minutes or so, and i'm intrigued enough to give it another try, but oh boy, that was a struggle.
kingdom: watched the first two episodes, it looks amazing, and we will definitely continue.
to-watch list:
the eighth sense: i want to watch this so bad, but all the reactions of those of my friends who are watching it only confirm that i should wait so i can binge it.
school 2013 (rewatch): i've been meaning to rewatch this for ages, especially since i want to write another fic this year, and weak hero just made me want to rewatch it right this second, so.
dr romantic 3: the third season is so close and i need it in my eyeballs like yesterday. i miss all of them so much!
misc: aka everything mentioned above (apart from hometown cha-cha-cha, which we'll continue to watch well into the fall at this pace)
my to-watch list is a lot, lot longer (and includes more of woo dohwan and yang sejong's dramas, as well as other stuff like the uncanny counter or d.p., or things that won't air for a while, like bloodhounds or doona), but listing all of them would take ages, so this is just the stuff i'm intending to watch in the immediate future.
oh, and i'm tagging @dulosis and @grimdarkfandango!
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1,6, and 15 for Reforged?
Reblog if you are a fanfiction author and would like your readers to put one of your fic titles in your ask + questions about it
Fic Context: Reforged
1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?
Originally, for the fic overall, I was inspired by a post by... I think their handle was squid-in-disguise (but I can't find the original post anymore and the ship-centered blog I reblogged it from almost 2 years ago apparently deleted). When I finish and type the final promo post, I'm going to try and tag them if I can verify OP's handle.
It was a fairly general prompt for if Rodimus visited Caminus and was hailed as a deity. I definitely took it in a different direction than was originally asked for. The original idea had "Megatron had secretly been in love with Rodimus the entire time" and I didn't lean into that as much.
I also went way deeper into Camien religion and history than I think anyone asked for, because I think that's interesting.
I also got to draw parallels with the Original Thirteen (from both IDW and Aligned). Added three drops of my experience with Judaism, threw the whole thing in the blender, and BAM.
TL;DR: I saw a post with an idea and no one stopped me. This is how many of my fics happen.
The rest of the answers are under the cut for length
6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?
We'll take away the sheer length, which far outstrips my other works.
This fic is special/different because:
It gets the most interaction and attention than all of my other fics combined. Something about it resonated with readers and this makes me very proud. I consider myself a very obscure fic author, so I was surprised that anyone even looked at it.
I started writing it on the tail-end of MegaRod being a popular-ish ship. I walked in right when content basically stopped being made (or at least incredibly slowed down to me and two or so other people that I know of). It was just a weird time to get into the ship, which is now almost a rarepair, but especially a weird time to drop a massive novel for it. This ties into the previous point: I'm surprised anyone looked at it.
It's my longest running writing project ever from starting to completion. (I've got up to chapter 98 drafted and only a few chapters after that left to go). Compare that to The Hollow Man, a novella that I slapped out in a month.
It's probably my most obvious example of "canon blending" right now. It's predominantly IDW1, but it's full of both subtle and blatant AU changes, on top of cannibalizing bits and pieces from other continuities, most noticeably Aligned.
It's the first piece I've had that got companion pieces, other little fics set in the same universe or bonus scenes.
It's the only fic of mine that my spouse threatens to write a crack/unhinged version of. For example: trials being based on the Great British Bake-Off
I'm sure there's more but that's what I've got atm.
15: What did you learn from writing this fic?
Novels are hard. Don't write them. I like to think I'm a one-shot and novella specialist, so 40k+ word beasties are not my normal wheelhouse. Some people are best at novels specifically! I do not think I am one of them! Now watch me put my foot in my mouth for Solar Flare.
If you do write one, give yourself a word count and/or a chapter cap. Do not accidentally write something longer than Lord of the Rings (the novel, not the trilogy, but maybe don't write something the length of a trilogy either).
Your brain will sometimes build in foreshadowing for you. Convenient and terrible all at once!
Characters will sometimes provide a story path that you did not plan for. Sometimes this is good! Sometimes this can get away from you and you're at a runaway word count again.
Outlines can be helpful to keep your plot from wandering too far off. I had a very rough outline for this fic of what I needed to hit and whenever something veered too far off, I had something tether it to rather than completely losing the thread. This doesn't work for everyone.
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KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!
NAME:  i go here by nika PRONOUNS:  she/her but they/them also works PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION:  discord or twitter is preferable because tumblr IMs make me want to throw myself off the bridge NAME OF MUSE(S):  Lorelei & Aurelius OâShell & Ace Trappola (from the currently active ones at least) RP EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?):  7-8 years?? something like that PLATFORMS YOUâVE USED:  some childhood game i donât remember which, skype at some point & finally tumblr and it will stay this way BEST EXPERIENCE:  i think when people just genuinely have fun together and can connect through silly interactions. whenever i post something silly and people join in on it and we all have a good laugh i think this is one of the best feelings on this website. RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS:  i wonât even lie, i got plenty so iâll focus on ones that are especially annoying tbh. i really hate when people do not read my pages, especially rules & it is something i keep mentioning bc it keeps happening. the rules are there for a reason and i will always get super anal about people breaking them bc it just makes my rp experience this much more painful. not cutting posts or like vague posting is also quite annoying. there is more but i feel like iâd get shanked for my takes so thatâs for me to know. FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT:  i enjoy fluff & angst equally I think tbh. I found myself writing softer things nowadays which I like a lot. I used to write a lot of angst and I still enjoy it a lot, mostly because the threads that do get angsty usually lead to some major development/revelations for my muses. I donât do smut at all it just doesnât interest me and sometimes makes me uncomfortable. PLOTS OR MEMES:  i would say both except that i struggle with plotting a whole lot. I find myself having less good ideas lately so I donât do it that often, I kinda just wing it and hope for the best. honestly tho i donât mind it being this way, as i noticed that winging it often times creates slightly more interesting outcomes i didnât even think of, if that makes sense?? i love memes i think they are a great way to get things going! LONG OR SHORT REPLIES:  i do both tbh! though i do have a certain preference for longer threads because they some somewhat easier to me with the right people. additionally, longer threads allow me to get the setting, feelings, etc. just right I think. BEST TIME TO WRITE:  honestly whenever you feel like it. i think sometimes forcing yourself to write can result in unsatisfying writing, at least in my case. for me it varies, sometimes i write around dinner time, sometimes i write really late at night. i am not a very morning person so i tend to write & do things later in the day. ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S):  maybe to some extent I could see a similarity or two. me and Lorelei are the protective older sibling type, and would do anything for our siblings even if sometimes it means it will be exhausting. i donât think I am too similar with Aurelius tbh he is far more optimistic, friendly, open, cheerful than me tbh. if anything we are both artistically talented to some degree & we like to tease our siblings. Me and Ace are the libra squad, but I feel like we arenât that similar either. we are both very unhinged tho and care about our friends even if sometimes it isn't clear.Â
tagged by: so you would love me even if i was a worm after all @pomfioresâ tagging: idk who did this already but consider yourself tagged by meÂ
#đĽ ;   ( out of character. )#(i wrote kinda a lot which is a trend for me)#(time to see if i can do shit on ace)#(which i forgot to follow some people from oops)
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TMA Fears and how they manifest in my experiences w/ MCY7/D$MP as someone who got semi into D$MP by accident with no prior MCY7 knowledge
The Corruption: Every time a streamer claims they love their fans The Buried: Trying to discuss any fucking actual issues in this community with any nuance at all. No matter how many friends you talk to you and all those takes get buried in one by whatever is the hot new Discourse (see: the Vast) The Hunt: The hot new Discourse and the ever present fear of people with it coming for you The Lonely: Like the Buried but you donât have friends with similar takes to discuss these particular takes about sadge The Dark: When bitches are mentioning lore is upcoming but they donât say what, or when. Or when they say âoooh I dropped lore hints in previous streams and you guys just did not notice. I am not telling you anything elseâ this IS a vague The Eye: People mentioning the Discord server in donos to streamers. Iâm not saying who but if you know you fucking know The Web: The algorithm. I donât need to explain this. Are you watching the next video because you want to watch the next video? Are you watching it because itâs being shown to you? Both? Neither? Does it matter? The Slaughter: D$MP discourse TikTok. I again donât need to explain this. The Vast: Twitter dot com. Twitch chats. Any large congregation of viewers. When a streamer breathes and such a large mass of people tweet about it spontaneously that the whole fucking world sees a trending tag. When overwhelming fucking forces of information seem to gather to the worst common denominator. The mob is more than the sum of its parts and the beast is blind and mindless, and itâs so big that no one can comprehend it or appease it, least of all some whiteboy with no PR team; and if the mob is merciful, all it seeks to slake its thirst for entertainment is blood. The Flesh: Endless thumbnails of streamersâ faces making extreme expressions. The streamers all look vaguely similar. The thumbnails all look identical. The content is the same -- some guys hanging out as friends. For your enjoyment. For your consumption. For your consumption to become a product as inhuman as what is consumed. A processing line of human expression, turned into a product for something that doesnât exist. You do not know whether to be horrified or to take your place on the processing line, just so you donât have to think about it. The Spiral: Seeing a D$MP discourse take that is not just a confusing read but sounds completely deranged and based on information that just does not exist?? Did you miss the stream when this was canonized?? Why have you not heard about it?? Did they just make it up??? Did you hear about it and forget??? Is this in fact a distant misinterpretation of something that did happen, warped beyond recognition??? It is a key point of their argument. They are stating it with utter confidence. One of you is either lying or unhinged, or possibly both. The Desolation: Allegedly Techn0bladeâs old Bedwars video purge. I might be a fake Techn0blade fan though because basically all I did was rewatch his Skyblock series repeatedly so I missed out on this boat entirely The Stranger: Being a D$MP!R4nboo enjoyer dealing with other alleged D$MP!R4nboo enjoyers who like D$MP!R4nboo but not D$MP!Techn0blade. This is the strongest one by far. This made me viscerally understand the name I Do Not Know You for the Stranger. This is fucking terrifying. These Benchtrio-main-Boreal-denier devotees wear the skin of a R4nboo enjoyer but there is nothing behind those eyes. I canât explain it but itâs somehow the single-character equivalent of shipping the first white twinks your eyes fall on when you get into a fandom. This is the sexymanification of that funny enderman. They claim to like R4nboo, but they donât like R4nboo. They like Something Else. They like a character that doesnât exist. They hate a character just as nonexistent. But theyâre in the tag, theyâre drawing the fanart, theyâre even reblogging some of your jokes, but you look at their blog and their takes and how their posts read and somehow you know that whatever they are they are not one of you The Extinction: By this point in the post it should be clear that I think that streamers as a concept are a manifestation of the Extinction. The End: Streamers are kept alive past cancellation and as either side escalates they only live longer. The slow decay of these systems would be something I revel in, but it will nver come. TMA says the End is all powerful, that all it must do is wait, but this is I think proof of concept that itâs not really true. There is no inevitable decline. There is no fear of death here. There is only the fear of filthy, mundane immortality and the corpses of running gags resurrected for more YouTube clicks
#this got so fucking cynical oh my god#I wasn't originally gonna censor things because this was going to be a lighthearted joke but this is 50% complaints about capitalism#by volume. So#/TMA#streamer rights to stfu
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Horrorlad Reviews: The Dentist (1996)
Or at least, like, talks about it a bunch.Â
Boy was I overthinking my first real Horror Lad post! It was going to be Grave Encounters, but that will have to wait, because I got insomnia and decided to rewatch a movie I hadnât seen seen since I was 14, which wound up being the perfect opportunity to write out a post!
Letâs talk about The Dentist!
So, The Dentist is a 1996 movie starring Corbin Bernsen. It was directed by Brian Yuzna (one of the producers of Re-Animator, he also directed the 1989 body horror film Society which I havenât seen, though a cursory image search tells me I need to add to my watch list immediately).
Anyway, The Dentist is about a teethsman who catches his wife giving some other guy a BJ and gets so grossed out about it that he has a nervous breakdown about, uh, how dirty mouths are, I guess? He loses his absolute shit (though he didnât seem to have it all that together to begin with; this guyâs Jack Torrance is way more Kubrick than King), and we the audience get to tag along for all the wacky fun.
Full disclosure: I canât give an unbiased review of this movie. I watched it several times in high school, then completely forgot about it for ten years, until tonight. Thereâs too much nostalgia wrapped up in it.
That said, upon rewatching it, I am in LOVE with the structure of it as a film. You know how, some movies, you can tell that the people behind the scenes are having a blast? This is one of those movies. The structure of the shots vary wildly, and I suspect that there was not one tripod or stabilizer on that set. The makeup and effects are fun, every actor has an opportunity to shine at least once, and the pacing is totally bonkers. I will note, however, that for a slasher movie the confirmed death count is pretty low, AND most of the murders are less dentistry-related than you might expect. Still, itâs a good time, and right now itâs available to watch for free (with commercials) on Tubi, which is pretty sweet!
Read on for the content warnings and spoilers. In the meantime, I give The Dentist 3.5 tanks of nitrous oxide (use with caution).
Content warnings and plot synopsis below the cut.
Content Warnings
Also, I donât really know what to classify this one as, but there is a lot of âickâ factor to this movie â rotting teeth, sludge, etc. If youâre easily squicked out by that sort of stuff, Iâd proceed with caution.
Dental torture (and how!) â itâs basically the whole movie, folks.
Sexual assault â multiple instances, including a character having their head forced down while giving oral sex (in a daydream), and another character being assaulted while on nitrous oxide.
Spousal abuse (physical and emotional) â again, thereâs a lot of this.
Child abuse â A young child has their gums stabbed by the dentist.
Animal abuse â a dog is shot offscreen.
--------------------------------------
Okay, spoiler time!
Whoo boy, here we go!
I have no idea why I watched this movie so much as a teen. Probably because it was free on FearNet (remember FearNet?) and I would watch just about anything.
Watching it as an adult, my first thought is⌠man this is weirdly paced. My second thought is that thereâs a lot more non-dental-related murders than I would have expected, but weâll come back to that.
So, our hero(?) is a dentist, and we meet him at the beginning of a framing device, miming dentistry and offering to tell us about his story. The bulk of the movie is then a flashback about how he got to where he is, interspersed with his monologuing or whatever. We meet him and his wife (who are a straight couple in a movie and thus required to completely hate one another) on their anniversary, a fact which becomes clear while heâs in the middle of throwing a fit about his laundry.
Pictured: a totally hinged man. Nothing unhinged going on here, no sir.
At any rate, he gets all suspicious after an interaction with the pool guy, and catches his wife having an affair with the guy. He continues framing-device-monologuing about decay and the world being filthy and all that, daydreams about assaulting his wife and murdering the pool boy, etc. He follows the pool guy to the neighborâs house, acts all weird, shoots a dog â your basic Tuesday.
Eventually, he winds up at the office, starts hallucinating, assaults a couple of patients, and finally calls an early end to the day (self care is important). We get this delightful (in a heavy-handed sort of way) scene that keeps cutting back and forth between him setting out spooky dental tools and his wife getting dressed for the big anniversary surprise heâs has planned, and thatâs when things really start to go haywire.
Okay.
So like.
I get that heâs a dentist.
I get that heâs a dentist whose whole shtick is having the themed exam rooms (though why we have aaaalll these rooms for a bunch of hygienists and one dentist is a little beyond me).
But you mean to tell me that this dudeâs special anniversary surprise for his wife was to show her his new, opera-themed dental exam room?
âOh, honey⌠you really, really shouldnât haveâŚâ
Like, I know heâs settled on a revenge plot by this point, but I still definitely believe that this guy was legitimately planning the entire time to show his wife his fancy new dental suite as an anniversary surprise. Not to be that guy, but no wonder she was having an affair.
Honestly though, I love this scene. I love the camera PoV shots as he shows off the dental suite, I love the excessive gesturing with his left hand. I love how the scene starts off with his point-of-view of her, and then transitions into her point-of-view of him, cut with those big beautiful teeth-yanking shots. Itâs ridiculous.
And then, they get home, he has some monologuing about the pool, etc.
Next scene, itâs the next day, some cops come to ask questions about the murdered dog, his wife is out back on a pool chair with her giant sunhat covering her face (the way normal, totally-not-drugged people hang out by the pool) while the pool guy does his pool guy stuff. Eventually the cops leave, yadda yadda yadda, the pool guy scoops the wifeâs tongue out of the pool, he sees how fucked up she is, the dentist murders the shit out of him. Itâs beautiful.
Donât you love it when you finish your to-do list first thing in the morning?
The end.
Wait, no, thatâs not right.
Somehow, thereâs still almost half a movie left.
This movie starts with this dude fighting with his wife, catching his wife cheating with the pool guy, hallucinating his wifeâs nasty mouth on everyone, etc. Youâd think that, with his wife tortured all to shit and the pool guy dead, the movie would have wrapped up.
I mentioned before that the pacing of the movie is weird, which it is. I mean, he has his âoop guess Iâm evil nowâ scene on his way to work the next day, which basically means that just over half of this movie is the origin story. It could be longer, with the big climactic nonsense taking up the last quarter or so. It could be shorter, with him freaking out about his wife, losing his shit, and having a proper dental rampage. Instead, The Dentist flies in the face of conventional story structure.
But this man is a busy man. Heâs a dentist, damn it.
He has to get back to work!
Things are happening fast now, letâs get condensed.
We go back to work, he pulls some malpractice shit on that lady whose dog he shot yesterday, then strangles Jessica-the-hygienist (I think thatâs her job) when she calls him on it. Later, a man from the IRS comes in and uses the dentistâs shady tax junk to get free dental work which is, uh, inadvisable. IRS man, Marvin Goldblum, starts talking about our dentistâs wife (and about how unhinged shiksas are in bed, in case we somehow we didnât piece together that heâs an awful Jewish caricature), and Iâm sure the rest of his appointment goes totally normally.
Get a guy who looks at you like this.
Meanwhile, the cops are definitely onto him regarding the murder of that dog (after all, murdering dogs is THEIR turf). They go to his house, where he left the body of the pool guy he murdered just laying around outside for anyone to find (which they do). Then they go upstairs and find his wife, who is alive but so fucked up.
Back at the office, Karen-the-other-hygienist, looking for her coworker who got murdered earlier, stumbles upon the very fucked up IRS dude. We get to listen to the dentist give a little monologue about how grossed out he is that his wife put some dudeâs âdirty, rotten⌠in her mouth!â before he injects air into a vein in Karen-the-other-hygienistâs neck to kill her.
Next up, this girl who has been waiting for two days to get her braces off gets called back. Sheâs adorable and chipper, so this, of course, can only go well. Whenâs the last time you had your dentist pull a gun on you?
Our scrappy youngster runs off, and he gives chase (we find that Mr. Goldblumâs jaw elongation procedure is going well by the way), before eventually letting her go after she promises to take very, very good care of her teeth.
After all, heâs got his next job to get to.
Letâs go teach dental students the importance of pulling out everyoneâs teeth!
Yeeep, heâs a teacher! And after he shoots one of his students while hallucinating, the cops show up, resulting in the slowest chase scene any movie has ever had (I mean the dude is literally just briskly walking down the hall and he still gets away from them). Anyway, the dentist winds up in an auditorium where a woman is practicing her opera singing. The dentist is entranced by this (we know he loves opera from that scene with his wife earlier) and reaches out to the singer, but he hallucinates his wifeâs hecked up face on her and drops to his knees, presumably to have the rest of his nervous breakdown. The cops⌠uh⌠well, they just kinda stand around looking disapprovingly at him while he sits on the floor. And thatâs⌠thatâs it, I guess?
âNah, let him rest, heâs had a big day.âÂ
 In our final scene, we have some orderlies at his new mental institution drag him down for his regular appointment, where his wife (who I guess is a dentist now) starts drilling at his teeth. This may or may not be a hallucination. It probably doesnât matter.
Wow. That certainly was a film.
Alright, so, Iâve been typing up my thoughts as I watch, and I think Iâve figured out what I like about this movie, that had me coming back to it over and over as a youngster. There are some movies that just look fun to film, and this is one of them. A number of the shots are really charming, for lack of a better word. Thereâs the anniversary scene with his wife I mentioned before, but so many others â this movie plays around with point of view, extreme close-ups, some very fun effects used to indicate the hallucinations⌠thereâs even a sideways shot of one of the cops coming down the stairs. I seem to have a real fondness for that sort-of manic, anything-goes approach to filming. Related side note: is there a single steady shot on this whole film? Iâm beginning to doubt it.
Corbin Bernsen does a great job. I mean, all the actors do, really, but he is something else. Like, I canât think offhand of many actors who could successfully take the character âdentist in bad marriage has a nervous breakdown because his wife gives someone else a blow job and it grosses him out; goes on torturemurder spreeâ without overacting to the point of distraction. âWhat are you talking about, this dudeâs hammier than Easter dinner,â you say. Now, I get the urge here, but I have to disagree; Bernsen plays a fantastic Emasculated White Guy Throwing A Fit.
That picture I posted up there, after the bit about the laundry argument? A dude who makes that face over the idea of wearing the wrong cuff links to work is at most twelve seconds away from completely losing his shit at any given moment. And the dudeâs anniversary surprise for his wife was to show off his new, opera-themed dental exam room; none of this behavior seems too off the wall for that character. Granted, I havenât seen the sequel yet, and the image searches do suggest that our dear dentist is about to use his well-cared-for teeth to chew the hell out of some scenery in The Dentist 2, but in this movie? Iâm just saying itâs not an unbelievable portrayal.
Disgruntled white dudes aside, the rest of the cast seems to have a fun time too. Shout out to the receptionist literally sobbing over what a great dentist this guy is (stunning work). If nothing else, stop by for wee baby Mark Ruffalo before he was famous. Itâs adorable.
LOOK AT HIM.
ALL THAT SAID, I have to state again how surprised I am by the sheer number of not-dental-related murders! Like, by my count, this guy commits a hefty amount of malpractice, but for a guy on a torturemurder spree, he sure does seem to keep his torture and his murder fairly separate. Letâs tally it:
Iâm tired, letâs wrap this up. The Dentist is a fun movie about a dude who loses his shit, does some dental torture, does some murder, does ZERO dental torturemurders, and then just kinda tuckers himself out and sits down. Itâs a big silly mess, and I love it.
Tortures: six
The kid at the beginning, the lady he sexually assaults (it counts), his wife (not dead), that lady whose dog he shot, Marvin the IRS guy (alive when last we see him), and the person at the dental school near the end.
Murders: three people, one dog.
The dog (shot), the pool guy (knifed), Jessica-the-hygienist (strangled), Karen-the-other-hygienist (air injected into artery), and thatâs⌠it..? He does shoot that person at the dental school, but it doesnât appear to be a fatal wound, and Marvin the IRS guy was alive when we saw him last.
Torturemurders: HECKIN��� ZERO.
Zero! None of the tortures are murdered, and nobody he murders is tortured! What the heck kind of slasher dentist doesnât even kill people via dentistry? No wonder everyone looks down on him at the end.
Alright, first post written. Iâm going to bed.
#horrorlad original#the dentist#the dentist (1996)#corbin bernsen#brian yuzna#horror#movie#horror movie#horror movies#movies#review#film review#movie review
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DC CW Shows
I finally caught up on all the DC Universe shows. Quite an accomplishment for me considering I was 2 seasons behind. It feels good to finally get caught up to speed, but some of them are starting to feel like chores getting through them, rather than fun entertainment. A concern that gets amplified by the fact that the producers want to add on 2 more shows to the line up. So I felt like it was a good idea to breakdown my thoughts on each of the shows and what I liked/didnât like. Plus then I will break down my thoughts on Crisis, because I have a lot of them. Iâll also rank these as I go as far as which ones I liked best, beginning with least to best. So letâs begin:
#7 - The Flash
I used to love this show so much. The first two seasons were a lot of fun and I loved all the characters so much. Thanks to the writing though, I canât honestly say I donât like this show much at all anymore and thatâs kinda sad. Part of the reason is it became soooo angsty. Like the reason The Flash was great, was it was the antithesis to the angst on Arrow which made it so refreshing to watch. Now itâs like everyone must suffer some sort of pain over the tiniest things or worse, they become entrapped in characters and situations like its been haunting them for years when it only got introduced a couple episodes ago. At this point the only characters I care about are Caitlyn/Frost, Joe and Cecile West, Wally (when heâs on, which is like never), and Ralph. And thatâs painful that Hartley wonât be returning to fill that role anymore because he was the only one who still could joke and laugh around like old Team Flash.
Season 5: Overall season 5 had a pretty solid storyline despite some of the angsty writing. After a while though I got pretty sick of fighting Chicada over and over again, especially Graceâs version. My one big pet peeve with it though was the relationship of Nora to Barry and Iris. Iâm sorry. I canât honestly picture any 20-30 something meeting their adult daughter and automatically assuming the role of an actual parent and treating her like a preteen. That always felt super weird and uncomfortable. Not to mention it happened almost automatically with little to no hang ups on âis this really our kid? Should we trust her?â Plus then it created angst between Barry and Iris which Iâm really over at this point in the series because their relationship was never my favorite to begin with.
Season 6: A hot mess. Granted, because of Crisis and Covid-19, the season probably didnât get a fair chance to play out to itâs full potential. But cutting the season into two arcs didnât do it any justice. Especially because instead of having character growth, I felt like a lot of the characters regressed. Take Barry for instance. The whole first part of the season is him prepping/training the team to take over for him after Crisis since he believes he is going to die. Only when he doesnât, he assumes the role of leader still without actually leading. He stops telling his team members key details and putting aside the fact he killed the speed force, he stopped being a hero. The whole fight scene with Mirror-Iris, was so bizarre to watch. Yes, Barry would never hurt the real Iris, but sheâs not and instead he just stands there and gets stabbed over and over, crying at the end that sheâs not there. Itâs really hard to watch.
#6 - Arrow
Arrow used to be in my top 3 slots as last I left it. The storylines were still on point. But leading up to Crisis and the show ending, there were some things that worked for me and some that didnât. Still, kudos to the team for standing their ground and saying that weâve told all we can tell, letâs put this show to bed and give it a close it deserves. It made the ending super emotional, but at the same time satisfying despite, Oliverâs death in the universe. My only complaint is the fact that the producers canât put it fully to bed and now want to reboot Arrow all over again with Mia and the canaries. Donât get me wrong watching strong women take more of the leading roles is awesome, but not to tell and retell the same storylines.
Season 7: The first half of the season when Oliver was in Iron Heights was not my favorite. Mainly because as it continues to develop it was like all the reasons he got put in Iron Heights to begin with no longer mattered. Diaz is still on the lose, heâs still playing his games in prison, and really what was the point? Now the second half of the season where we focus on his rehabilitation into society and working with the SCPD to track and take down his sister Emiko, was actually good. Too bad it got horribly overshadowed by a time travel flash-forward storyline to introduce and make us care about Mia.
Season 8: Obviously this season was the closeout season and the season leading up to Crisis. But I liked the way they treated it. They gave cameo spots and guest starring spots to former faces like Thea (sheâs still freaking awesome), Tommy, Moira, and even Merlyn came back. My only complaint was that all of sudden we did have another time travel situation on our hands to meet our future kids. Thankfully I felt Arrow overall took that development better than the Flash, which since that was only a couple episodes and not a season, says something about the writing. Plus the post-Crisis pilot for the Green Arrow and Canaries felt a little out of place given everything that happened and a little insulting.
#5 - Supergirl
Thereâs parts of Supergirl I still absolutely love to pieces and the writing that are still doing it the justice that started the show by telling storylines of not only heroism, but commentary on todayâs events to help push for progress. I love the whole cast of characters and think the acting has been great. My only complaint is with Season 5 and the fact that the show is beginning to find its tipping point of being less than stellar. I mean, I still enjoy it, but itâs beginning to show its where and tear so Iâm worried whatâs going to happen as it continues forward. Especially as it gets hyperfixated on Lex Luthor, who donât get me wrong is a fabulous villain, but isnât that Supermanâs arch nemesis, not Supergirlâs?
Season 4: What a great commentary to tell throughout the season that parallels the feelings and conversations being had about immigration in our own world. I thought the idea of the Alien Amnesty Act squaring off against Ben Lockwood and his Agents of Liberty was not only great commentary but great story telling. I also loved that we got to introduce Nia Nall into the series because sheâs fantastic and has become one of my favorite characters. I even love the twist reveal of how Ben Lockwood isnât the enemy, itâs really Lex Luthor and his communist Supergirl clone. Plus Jon Crier plays an amazing Lex Luthor.
Season 5: Donât get me wrong, the stakes and the storylines with Leviathan and Obsidian North, I do think are important and worth telling, but they detracted from the main storyline that developed at the end of last season which was Lena and Karaâs new relationship. Yes, it was still hit on and explored, but by far that was the storyline I was interested in seeing the most, not Ramah Khan or Virtual Reality horror stories. Also, while I like Lex, thanks to his antics during Crisis, the second half of the season felt hijacked and became this witch hunt. Donât get me wrong, I canât wait to see what he and Lillian are doing, but I wish it played out more in the shadows and less of the actual screen time. Iâm also glad Lena is back on Karaâs side again. But Brainy better not be dead! Heâs one of my favorites even if his motives during this season were hard to watch.
#4 - Batwoman
I actually really, really, really liked Batwomanâs first season. Getting to know the badass that is Kate Kane and watch the horrorâs of Gotham play out week to week was such a refreshing change of pace. After all, The Flash and Supergirl are undeniably heroes and must carry those burdens(?) as they fight for truth and justice. And Oliver was a vigilante, but while he took down drug lords, weapons dealers, etc. the stakes of being a vigilante in Star City is nothing compared to wearing the cape in Gotham. I loved the cast and seeing the stories play out of their past and how they connect to each other and also how some of them discover who Batwoman is, was fantastic. Even as creepy as Alice is, I enjoyed seeing the performance of the completely unhinged and psychotic villain take the stage to play out her twisted fantasies. I also appreciate the openness that Kate brought to being an out and proud lesbian, even revealing her super identity to a teenager to prove that it does get better and lesbians can be awesome is super freaking powerful. I even like that with the shortened season, it didnât feel like we got robbed of an awesome storyline, but now we get to why this ranks fourth on my list instead of higher: Ruby Rose left the show and we get a whole new Batwoman. I get that this is out of the hands of the producers and the writers and I am super sad to see her go. But its hard not to feel like we lost a whole season of introduction and development to just reset and begin again. Iâm not sure how they will handle it, but I do hope that a lot of the cast stays and stays in their roles. Especially Luke and Mary who are a great team. Mary is also like my all time, instant-favorite character because not only is she super wicked smart, but she has so much humanity in her so I hope she still continues on the show.
#3 - Stargirl
 Yes, yes, this show is still airing which is why I canât speak to the overall season arc in finality yet, but I absolutely have been loving this first season. Again, what a refreshing new reality to step into and what a great new storyline to pursue. This rag-tag group of teenagers becoming the new Justice Society of America is a fun telling and already, the stakes of the Injustice Society are so high! Like I was expecting that it was going to be like the other shows where slowly by slowly we meet all the bad guys in different seasons, but instead it feels a little flipped since we donât have all our new heroes on the stage yet. Still I love Courtney and her relationship with Pat as she discovers these secrets of his past and their new home of Blue Valley. I love her recruiting reasoning to bring Yolanda and Rick into this crazy plan and even her acceptance of Beth becoming the new Doctor Midnight. Plus, the show keeps surprising me because on one hand, giving these teenagers these powers to help them redeem their self esteem is a great storyline, which is why I was expecting them to force us to like Cindy since the beginning of that episode was leading up to maybe becoming friends with her, but no. Turns out she is the super bitch and super villain of the show and thatâs kinda awesome. Also I like how because their teenagers, their secret identities arenât really that secret, which makes itâs kinda fun, but also dangerous. Weâll see how the last 3 episodes play out, but I canât wait.
#2 - Black Lightening
Talk about real gritty, dark, and powerful storytelling. I enjoyed the first season, but these last two have been a real punch in the gut in good ways and the writers have been outdoing themselves to provide heartfelt, real, honest emotions and discussions to the world of superheroes, compared to the other shows. And itâs hard, but the gruesome nature of the show also highlights some of the real struggles going on in the Freeland Community which of course highlights the issues in our own world around the Black Community. The whole spinal chord ripping scene will haunt me forever and not only because they keep replaying it, but because of how insane that was. The cast is also great and I love that at the end of Season 3, itâs not just a family of super heroes, but a group of powerful metas squaring off against the government and the most dangerous threat of all so far: Gravedigger. Gives me goose bumps just thinking about it.
Season 2: Now that the whole family knows the stakes of what they have gotten themselves into with Tobias and revealing the girls have power, I love the way we got introduced to the ASA and the pod kids as a menial threat while still struggling to take down the perceived âbigger threatâ that is Tobias. Jennifer also having trouble coming to terms with her powers and how to use them I think was a great way to explore that not everyone wants to be a superhero, especially in antithesis to Nyssa who is a full on badass as Thunder and Blackbird. Watching Khalilâs story in this go from obedient lap dog to a runaway and finally a victim of Tobiasâ violence was hard, but I felt was justified throughout and made him that character you want to root for, even when not everything heâs done has been great.
Season 3: What a harsh turn of direction. A full on occupation of Freeland, house arrest, killings on the street, and an underground railroad of metas or suspected metas completely changed the tune of this show. Watching each of the Peirces struggle to find out who the ASA is, what their doing, if their actions are justified and if the Marcovian threat was real was really fascinating to watch. The showdown with the Marcovians too with a whole team behind them was also a nice change of pace, even if their mission didnât end the way they expected. I think the amplified stakes though of what happened and whatâs to come will continue to develop into an incredible show, minus one now big problem I have, but I will detail that out below when we talk about Crisis.
#1 - Legends of Tomorrow
You can fight me, but Legends of Tomorrow is the best goddamn shown on this network for one simple fact: They donât take themselves seriously. There is no real angst and because of that it makes the adventures so fun and so hilarious that its such a great break from all of the other shows. Plus, because they keep swapping new and old cast members into the show, it always feels new. Kinda that Doctor Who spirit, which I love. That and because there are hardly any rules to a time travelling group of heroes who donât really want to be heroes, you get ridiculously themed episodes like Bollywood Musical or TV Crossovers. It is what makes the show a total blast.
Season 4: As the team gears up to track down magical creatures throughout history, you get the introduction of permanent team member, John Constantine who I freaking love for his cool, aloof character and yet sarcastic and sassy contrast to the sunshine and bro-squad that is Ray and Nate. I also love that the season not only was about capturing these magical creatures, but fully rehabilitating Norah Dhark into a good guy now accidentally turned fairy godmother. To be honest, I definitely did not see that one coming. I like that fighting the demon lord also helped transition the show from Season 4 to 5 to fight hell spawn creatures. Quite a leap from the original Legends concept, but again thatâs what makes this show so fresh.
Season 5: Part of the other fun of Legends is getting to see old characters get reinvented. I loved the storyline with Charlie and her reveal to be Clothos, one of the 3 fate sisters and the reason the ancient loom got destroyed. I also loved Tala Asheâs portrayal of Zari in a different timeline because the difference between tech-geek, super smart Zari and social influencer extraordinaire Zari were well done. Plus we got another awesome bro-squad member in Behrad who I hope sticks around for a while. The only bummer was saying goodbye to Ray Palmer. Ray has been one of my favorite characters in the Arrow-verse and seeing his exit was sad and partly because I think it could have been handled better. Like donât get me wrong, seeing him have to get approval from Damian Dhark to marry Nora was entertaining and Iâm glad he isnât dead like Dr. Stein or Leonard Snart, but I just feel like the exit was a bit rushed. The good news is, it opens the door for Ray to return and I hope we get to seem in the future.
Alright...... To end this long spiel, letâs talk about Crisis on Infinite Earths and what that now means for all these shows. Because unfortunately.... it canât be ignored. And Iâm sorry to sound pessimistic, but to be honest, Crisis wasnât my favorite story and was too hyped for the end result.
The only show who came out better for Crisis, in my opinion, was Arrow. Mainly because the story of Oliverâs last sacrifice to reboot the universe was the only one that made complete sense and doesnât complicate the show after it happens. Granted it could be because it was used as the showâs exit, but still. I used to love crossover episodes and getting the whole team together, but now because there is soooo much going on in each show and such a large cast, these big multi-night and multi-universe shows just feel scattered because you are constantly hopping around and between each of the characters and all the individual storylines donât matter. Like remember when Barry and Oliver would actually talk about what they were up against? Miss that. That and Oliver, Barry, and Kara stole the show even when it was other shows turn to shine. Like Kate was hardly in it, even in her own episode and the Legends werenât in it at all. It was just Sara and Ray which was disappointing because as Crisis was their season opener, you missed a real chance to have the Legends save the day. Donât get my wrong, there were some great moments during crisis and I liked the nod to past versions of the DC characters, including Brandon Routh getting to play Superman again, but overall it just made chaos for things that donât make sense post-crisis.
Like yay, all our favorite heroes are in one place and created the justice league to help each other, but once Crisis is over, nope sorry, no one can be bothered to borrow a hero friend. Like that makes sense for some shows, Batwoman for instance isnât that close to everyone and her storyline is so rooted in her own family drama, that ignoring the other supers made sense. The Flashâs stakes werenât high enough to involve anyone else, so fine. And Legends of course travel through time and so arenât around, fine. But Supergirlâs takedown of a longstanding secret group of people capable of bending Earthâs elements to create catastrophic events, isnât enough to at least reach out to Cisco or Luke for help tracking them? That seems underwhelming. Plus where are the aliens in all the other cities now? Or the metas in National City? Thatâs a pet peeve, but more so because of the biggest twist in Crisis:
Pulling Black Lightening into the Arrowverse. Like the shows writers and producers, I think Black Lightening works better outside the Arrowverse which was the intent and goal from the get go. Pulling Jefferson Pierceâs family and world into the same Earth as all the other shows, no longer makes the shows storytelling as strong and maybe it was because this was a last minute decision, but there is just no justification post Crisis as to why they had to come in. I mean, The Flash and Black Lightening have metas related issues, you would think that alone would be a prime source of teaming up. Especially when Cisco goes out on a worldwide quest to document metas, youâre telling me skipped over Freeland? And whereâs our favorite Kyrptonian to fight for truth, justice, and the American way as Freeland is being occupied by the ASA? Oh, what too busy going after Lex Luthor? Sorry, Iâm not buying that Kara Danvers ignores racial injustice. Like I get that maybe it was a way to be able to use Black Lightening later in cross-over events, but the fallout from bringing them in this season with everything going on is a huge mistake in my opinion. And heck, having shows exist outside each other is probably a good thing. Too many and these crossover events donât feel fun anymore, they just feel chaotic. I think Iâm with the Legends on this one: the crossovers arenât worth it anymore.
#cw dc universe#thoughts#reactions#legends of tomorrow#black lightening#stargirl#batwoman#supergirl#arrow#the flash#crisis on infinite earths
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I posted 19,867 times in 2022
That's 3,755 more posts than 2021!
11 posts created (0%)
19,856 posts reblogged (100%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@silly-bean
@maandarinee
@loonylunalovegood97
@teawithmochi
@gentrychild
I tagged 3,703 of my posts in 2022
#long post is long - 1,873 posts
#video - 1,535 posts
#fic rec - 135 posts
#quizzy - 129 posts
#lmao - 109 posts
#fic idea - 105 posts
#reference - 98 posts
#music - 45 posts
#audio - 39 posts
#lmfao - 14 posts
Longest Tag: 137 characters
#some people are unhinged as in 'the door doesnt have hinges yet' but others are 'the hinges have torn out the wall and the nails stab me'
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Something is wrong on mobile. Tags seem to... just look at them! Typing here is fine, it's just tags, but still. As far as I can tell, it's interpreting it as a-ab-abc-abcd without dashes.
0 notes - Posted April 17, 2022
#4
crash
0 notes - Posted April 1, 2022
#3
dreams are something your subconscious tries to tell you
it was basically a time loop where i try to figure out how this guy kept getting murdered at a massive house party but itâs not the girlfriend, best friend (who i was playing as), or even the loner trying to get with the gf. heâs just dead every single time. probably getting murked by several people; iâm pretty sure i killed him once on accident and didnt even bother hiding the body, since it was a party and people would think he was just black out drunk. tried to hide his body on the roof later on though, which just made him get spotted quicker lol.
the party was in the mountains but we were apparently right next to both the ocean and farmland, because at one point the girlfriend sprouted a wing sephiroth style and flew away out to sea. i got the impression she gave up on trying to find out how her bf died in several timelines and didnât want to get fingered as the culprit in lieu of even any circumstantial evidence, so she sacrificed her ability to swim or land in exchange for flight and left.
i think loner guy got abducted by cannibals in the last one, because it became like texas chainsaw massacre AND the hills have eyes in that thereâs a massive inbred family network out there in them there hills that just take people if they want more kids, food, or hunting for sport. There was also a cameo of michael myers because he was apparently just slaughtering them en masse and them trying to put him down but he just did not notice it at all. purely coincidental on his part that he was taking down whole cells.
0 notes - Posted March 14, 2022
#2
dreams are something your subconscious tries to tell you
had a dream i was a dude and i got dressed in pumps and a playboy bunny outfit except the bottom wasnât a leotard it was a microskirt, so technically iâm flashing cheek with each step.
apparently i did this as a reward or something for my dream state boyfriend, like, straight up in public i am wearing this for him. because of the whole flashing thing being, you know, a thing with this outfit, i decide to squat instead of take a seat, which is something else i feel dream bf would appreciate.
he does not lol.
rather than have sex in âreal lifeâ he wants to have sex in minecraft, something i do not have, with mods i also do not have. the force of my disappointment turns me into a lady again.
seeing as iâm lucid dreaming and it isnât going anywhere fun, i decide to launch off the cliff thatâs usually at the back of buildings in my dreams and just start hang gliding or w/e only to get waylaid by the fucking party going on out on the courts. iâm still in the bunnygirl outfit.
i woke up mildly aggravated that i read my dream bf so wrong, which is funny because in actual real life i had never and will never actually date this guy. this is what happens when you see a sick af cosplay and find an anime character with the same specific name the same day lmao
0 notes - Posted January 7, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
i switch to firefox and it fucking breaks not even a day later -.-
extensions no longer loading properly, tumblr just giving me a blank page...
anyone know how to figure out wtf is happening
1 note - Posted September 18, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review â
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I posted 2,482 times in 2022
68 posts created (3%)
2,414 posts reblogged (97%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name
@13wyvern7
@akumastrife
@renecdote
@funnytwittertweets
I tagged 1,936 of my posts in 2022
Only 22% of my posts had no tags
#queue - 1,703 posts
#spn - 180 posts
#cats - 151 posts
#cobra kai - 108 posts
#laughing - 105 posts
#video - 87 posts
#star wars - 60 posts
#ignore me - 59 posts
#asdfjk; - 58 posts
#love it - 57 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#and some points for never understanding why hp and hunger games were the big ya series with all the merch when percy jackson was right there
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
like i can appreciate what theyâre going for with the mexico roadtrip looking to be just johnny and robby.
however i still think it would be hilarious if sam also went to mexico with miguel so daniel invites himself to what was going to be johnnyâs lone wolf expedition. and johnny goes along with it because it means daniel gives him yet another car. and then robby asks if he can come and johnny says yes because he gets that itâs a test of if he actually cares or not, but also because they all quickly realize robby knows more spanish than johnny and daniel combined.Â
except. like. they havenât even left reseda yet and robbyâs already debating jumping out of the car into incoming traffic because of johnny and daniel doing that thing where they flip between being scarily in sync to trying to karate kick the other in a moving vehicle.
so robby decides he gets to invite a friend and they agree because, like, they know most of his friends, right? probably? itâs not like heâd invite kyler or something. so they pull up and daniel and johnny are doing the daniel and johnny thing and so donât notice tory getting in the backseat until she makes some snide comment about them flirting.Â
it shuts them up for like 30 seconds but itâs the quietest 30 seconds robbyâs had since he agreed to this trip. it mightâve been longer but then danielâs phone rings. itâs the dealership, they got a call from the local jail for him. well, for johnny, since johnny still hasnât replaced his phone. itâs kreese asking for bail money. johnny and daniel are like hell no on principle. except tory leverages what she knows about terry rigging the tournament to get them to pay bail.Â
and like, kreese has nothing better going on, he might as well tag along. in fact, it becomes part of his plan. if he can convince johnny and daniel heâs their ally by helping out with this, they can all work together to take down terry.Â
so itâs a roadtrip of the 5 people with the weirdest relationships to each other. 6 actually, nobody thought to pack luggage which means nobody checked the trunk. an few hours into the trip when theyâve stopped for gas anthony pops out of the trunk because his nintendo switch died and heâs also hungry.Â
at some point everyoneâs phones get lost and they spend the entire trip convinced everything is falling apart back in LA, when in fact chozen is teaching the kids how to do karate without becoming unhinged. one week in and heâs already everyoneâs favorite sensei. also amanda has signed up all of the kids for therapy.Â
6 notes - Posted August 16, 2022
#4
i am not immune to wanting to see old men kick the shit out of each other
8 notes - Posted February 4, 2022
#3
the valley is alive with the sound of- *teenagers punching each other, grown men roundhouse kicking each other* karate??? With dojos we havenât seen in thirty four years??
8 notes - Posted August 26, 2022
#2
one of my favorite things things in mass effect is when the 'charmâ dialogue choice is basically just shepard yelling WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU at various heads of governments
9 notes - Posted December 10, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
men will just teach karate to teenagers instead of going to therapy
44 notes - Posted August 18, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review â
#tumblr2022#year in review#long post#LOVE that 4 of 5 top posts are cobra kai#and the last one (my second highest notes of the year) was from. fucking. two days ago and is about mass effect#i truly did two things this year: watch cobra kai for the first time and get obsessed; and replay mass effect and get obsessed (again)#i'm not here for notes i'm here for screaming into the void about blorbos#also i'm very proud of my longest tag
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đź~Honesty Hour~đź (pt. 2)
   I was asked by @lovelynhiddenkittens to do 150 questions in the honesty hour tag quite a while ago, and only did a third of it. But no longer will this be the case! Midterms are mostly over (the two biggest ones are done at least) so I can focus on more fun things, like answering these questions! Hereâs my answers to questions 51-100:
51. Ever wished you were someone else?
   Yes. I have a lot of internalized shame about my body type (petite and curvy) that whenever I see someone super tall or toned I just want to be them. Even if itâs only for a day. I donât have these wishes so much anymore though. Alex and I have been dating for 5 months (on the 21st of this month) and he loves my body type. Thanks to him, Iâm learning to love myself, and learning that I donât have to be a model to be loved~ đ
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
   My depression. I feel like it makes me a burden on everyone, and although itâs shaped who I am, has it really changed me for the better? Maybe Iâm more understanding and empathetic because of it, but itâs also caused me an inordinate amount of pain, and unnecessary pain for my loved ones.
53. Favorite make-up brand?
   I donât wear make-up often enough for me to even have a clue.
54. Favorite store?
   What Iâm buying changes which store I prefer. If itâs food, I generally hit up Fryâs. If itâs home decor (Which Alex and I needed quite a bit of in recency, given that we just moved into an apartment together a few months ago) I shop at Target. If I need to buy shampoo, face wipes, deodorant, shaving cream, etc. I typically go to Wal-Mart. Does anyone really have just 1 store that they shop at? I know if I bought non-food items at Fryâs Iâd go bankrupt. đ
55. Favorite blog?
   Thatâs a real tough one. I love all of my Tumblr friendâs blogs. @im-here-cause-im-not-all-there posts a lot of stuff I relate to, same for @theperksofneurodivergency, who always posts great content. Seriously, I could sit here for ages and list off all the people on Tumblr that I follow, but that would be ridiculous. Rest assured that if I follow you, it means I generally like what you post.
56. Favorite color?
   I love darker colors on the cooler end of the color spectrum; mainly green, blue & purple. I even like pastel colors occasionally. Though thatâs more likely when Iâm being influenced by some of my alters who like lighter colors. Like Honey, who loves pastel colors, and all things sweet really. Thatâs why sunflowers are her favorite flower. She appreciates all the sunny and cheerful things in life. âď¸ In our inner world, she even has a garden that she tends to regularly, and grows (you guessed it) sunflowers, among other things.
57. Favorite food?
   Oh look, another tough one. Hmm... It really depends what Iâm in the mood for. But my boyfriend recently started taking me to Schlotzskyâs, which has a lot of really good sandwiches. Though, Iâm always down for some Arbyâs. Iâm in a rut there, but I donât care. Their roast beef classic and curly fries are to die for. đ
58. Last thing you ate?
   Speaking of Arbyâs... đ I ate there for dinner last night in celebration of passing my proctored exam for my math class. It was worth 75% of my grade, and I wasnât allowed to have anything (they even confiscated my bottle of water). It took 2 hours and was suuuper stressful. So my BF rewarded me with Arbyâs when I passed~ đ This is just one of the many reasons why I love him~ đ
59. First thing you ate this morning?
   Itâs the morning right now, and I havenât eaten yet... đ
Does the two sips of my boyfriendâs coffee count?... No?... Okay. *sighs* I should go eat now actually, so I can take my morning meds. Thanks for reminding me, Tumblr ask!
60. Ever won a competition? For what?
   I got first place in a race once... then immediately quit the track team. đ Running just wasnât for me. Iâve won blue ribbons for art (culinary and painting mostly) before at the 4-H Fair, but I donât think Iâve ever been in a proper competition that I won. I recently participated in a Drag Show at my college, and even signed my performance (I know ASL, and I hoped it would make me stand out a bit against the competition), but I didnât win. It was actually a really close call between all the participants, and the host/judge couldnât decide who the audience cheered louder for, so the lady whoâd set up this event had to come up and make the decision. I was one of the first people she decided should leave the stage. So, needless to say, I felt a little embarrassed and defeated afterwards.
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?
   I never even had detention đ ; I was a goody two-shoes growing up. I was always the teacherâs pet, so no, I was never suspended or expelled.
62. Been arrested? For what?
   âŹď¸ See the point I made above for your answer. âŹď¸ Iâd have to cease being a goody two-shoes first before being arrested is even a possibility, so no, my record is squeaky clean... we wonât speak of the songs Iâve illegally downloaded from YouTube though. >-> <-< Donât tell the po-po about this, or else Iâll be forced to participate in court-ordered rehab for my music addiction. đ
63. Ever been in love?
   Yes~ đ Iâm in love right now, with the most supportive and understanding man Iâve ever known~ I shouldnât have to say who at this point, but I will. Itâs my BF, Alex~ â¤ď¸
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss.
   Well, this was back when I lived in Indiana. I had a core group of friends, that all happened to be on the LGBT+ spectrum, so we were practically dripping in rainbow-y goodness. đ Mich, essentially the leader of the group, is trans. While Levi is gay and Laci (she thought she was a lesbian originally, and identified as such for the time that I knew her; I donât really have contact with any of them anymore) is bi. That just leaves Sasha, who is also bi, and she was my first kiss. Mich, Sasha, I, and others (Levi and Laci werenât there though) all decided to play spin-the-bottle. Sasha was the first person I landed on, and I still remember her kiss. It was soft, like a cloud, and tasted like strawberries. đ It was a wonderful first kiss, but I definitely prefer kissing Alex the most~ đ
65. Are you hungry right now?
   Well, considering I just ate a mini donut with my pills... yes, yes I am. đ ...Donât you judge me either! Alex and I bought a bunch of mini donuts for our last D&D gaming sesh at Tylerâs, and there was still a bunch left over, so someone has to eat them, and I didnât feel like making a proper breakfast. Plus, the one I ate is strawberry flavored, so how could I not eat it? If anyone turns down a strawberry donut, suspect immediately that they are a lizard-person.
66. Do you like your Tumblr friends more than your real friends?
   What a savage question. No, I do not. I like all of my friends, equally, whether theyâre online or offline. I only care if my friends are good people or not; and if they care and respect me as much as I do them. Whether they live nearby or not is of little importance to me. I base my friendships off of their character, their morals; not their place of residence.
67. Facebook or Twitter?
   Well, I donât have a Twitter, and only really check my Facebook once in a blue moon. So... neither?... What, is that not an option? Fine... I choose Facebook... I guess.
68. Twitter or Tumblr?
   Tumblr.
69. Are you watching TV right now?
   No, Iâm currently typing this... I am listening to music though, of course. đ
70. Names of your best friends?
   Well, Tylerâs the only friend I have IRL that knows me, like, truly knows me. By that, I means she knows about my DID, among other diagnoses, as weâve talked at length about both of our diagnoses before. Since she has Bipolar disorder, she gets what itâs like to have a âscaryâ mental illness; the ones that get characterized by media to always be violent and unhinged. She didnât judge me or fear me, she only asked questions and tried to learn as much about my system as she could, which tells us that she truly cares and understands. Iâve told other people before, but theyâre either no longer a part of my life, or were creeped out by my DID, and are choosing to forget that I ever told them in the first place. My Tumblr friends also know about my DID, given that I post about it and mention it in my blog bio, but thereâs a certain level of anonymity on the internet that allows for me to be more open about it. Telling someone IRL? Now thatâs terrifying. It takes a lot of trust, and given that I have had some bad reactions in the past, it makes it even more daunting.
71. Craving something? What?
   Honestly? A vacuum. And a mop, while Iâm at it. Iâve been cleaning for most of the morning, and those are the only cleaning supplies that I need and donât have. I keep trying to talk Alex into buying them, but heâs not as bothered by dirty floors as I am. He even walks around barefoot on these filthy floors! IDK how! Even if Iâm wearing socks it bothers me. I donât like stepping on anything, and the only way I donât feel whatâs on the ground is if Iâm wearing shoes. So... I basically never take off my shoes except for when Iâm in bed. đ
72. What color are your towels?
   What a weird question. đ Before I moved in with Alex, I lived with my parents, and we didnât have a standard color of towel. We had an assortment of colors from multiple old sets of towels, a lot of them raggedy, some of them bleached, most of them ancient. Then when I started living with Alex, we still have some towels of differing colors, but most of them are blue and soft~ ⨠The sheets and pillow cases are blue too, though a lighter shade.
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
   Not anymore. I used to when I was younger though. When I was a kid my stuffed animals felt like my children. I would rotate which ones got to sleep with me each night, hug and kiss them all goodnight then tuck them in. If one of them fell out of my arms in the middle of the night, it would wake me up immediately. Not even a slow, groggy wake-up. It was like my motherly instinct was an alarm clock, so I would wake up instantly and be wide awake, frantically searching for the stuffed animal that fell out of my arms. I would then pick them up, dust them off and apologize, then snuggle them and drift off back to sleep. When I was a teenager, I mostly cuddled them when I was lonely and needed some companionship to fall asleep. Now that I snuggle and sleep with my boyfriend each night, I no longer sleep with my stuffed animals, but I still love them and keep them as decoration for my bed at my parentâs house, since I never really sleep there anymore. I nap there occasionally, but thatâs about it.
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
   Uhhh... Iâve never actually counted, but at least a tub full.
75. Favorite animal?
   Elephants and foxes, equally~ đ
76. What color is your underwear?
   Iâm wearing black panties at the moment. Itâs satiny with lace, so itâs cute and comfy; the best of both worlds. đ
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?
   Definitely chocolate, đŤ provided itâs not too rich.
78. Favorite ice cream flavor?
   Iâm obsessed with matcha green tea ice cream right now, OMG, itâs sooo good~ đ Same goes for the matcha green tea frappuccino at Starbucks. Itâs the only drink there that I actually get. Iâve tried other beverages they have, and generally donât like them, but the matcha green tea frap is too delicious for itâs own good.
79. What color shirt are you wearing?
   Iâm actually wearing a really comfy dress right now, that I slept in as a nightgown last night. đ Itâs gray and has a lace band on each sleeve.
80. What color pants?
   âŹď¸ Once again, reference my previous entry. âŹď¸ I am pantless, given that Iâm sporting a dress at the moment.
81. Favorite TV show?
   Oh geez... another hard one. Letâs see... Iâll just put the name of the show Iâm watching the most right now. That would have to be âCrazy Ex Girlfriendâ on Netflix. Before that I watched the newest seasons of âBoJack Horsemanâ as well as âOrange Is the New Blackâ, but Iâve already finished those.
82. Favorite movie?
   Honestly, Iâve been really obsessed with âThe Hunchback of Notre Dameâ recently. When I re-watched it as an adult, I noticed how much more serious that movie is compared to Disneyâs other films. They cover some pretty dark subject matter, and do it well... *sighs* if only theyâd nixed the addition of the gargoyles. They ruin every emotional or tense scene that theyâre placed in, and make the lighter scenes just plain cringey. I know they wanted to make it suitable for kids, but I think Disney underestimates what kids can handle, especially considering they reference the darker scenes subtly enough so as to keep the movieâs G rating intact. Like what about the goat, Djali, that belongs to Esmeralda? The goat could have been the comic relief, but instead they brought in the talking gargoyles. They couldnât even do something cool with the gargoyles, like make them a part of Quasiâs imagination. Heâs been alone in a bell tower for his entire life, so it would make sense that he would begin talking to the statues and giving them personalities... but no... itâs shown at the end that the gargoyles can interact with and impact the real world, making them a part of it as well.
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?
   Well, considering Iâve only ever seen the first one, and didnât even know there was a second one, Iâm gonna have to go with âMean Girlsâ.
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?
   Iâve never seen â21 Jump Streetâ, so once again, âMean Girlsâ takes the cake.
85. Favorite character from Mean Girls?
   Oh, thatâs hard, especially when theyâre all such fun characters. Janis is pretty cool, so sheâs up there, but Karen is probably my favorite. Sheâs such a simple, naive soul, you canât help but love her.
86. Favorite character from Finding Nemo?
   Dory, hands down. But I wanna give a special shout-out to Bubbles, the character from the fish tank that, (you guessed it) is obsessed with bubbles. đ He cracks me up every time.
87. First person you talked to today?
   Alex. Considering we both wake up in the same bed, it would be nearly impossible for him not to be the one I talk to first thing in the morning.
88. Last person you talked to today?
   Once again, Alex, given that itâs still early in the day and I havenât seen anybody else yet.
89. Name a person you hate?
   All of my abusers. Every. Single. One. They made me feel small, worthless, and unloved. So I hope each one of them feels that way for the rest of their miserable existences.
90. Name a person you love?
   My boyfriend, Alex~ Heâs my world, my hopes and dreams, and everything I aspire to be~ đ
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
   No. I want to punch all of my abusers in the balls. With a baseball bat. Repeatedly, until theyâre infertile.
92. In a fight with someone?
   No.
93. How many sweatpants do you have?
   Only one. I want to buy more, but that requires that I have money, which I donât.
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
   I have my Nirvana sweatshirt, my âNightmare Before Christmasâ sweatshirt, and two hoodies with my college logo on them. Oneâs gray and the other is red.
95. Last movie you watched?
   âThe Hunchback of Notre Dameâ.
96. Favorite actress?
   I have no idea. So Iâm gonna go find a list of the top 100 actresses and go from there. *some time passes* So, I found an actress I actually know, and thatâs Krysten Ritter, who played Jessica Jones on Netflixâs hit series named (you guessed it again! Wow, youâre really good at this.) âJessica Jonesâ.
97. Favorite actor?
   Thatâs a tie between Robin Williams (I really miss him... He was such a vibrant and energetic actor, who also knew how to portray more serious, and heart-felt scenes. He was a skilled actor and a good man. May he rest in peace.) and Tom Hanks. I like quite a few films starring those actors.
98. Do you tan a lot?
   Never.
99. Have any pets?
   No... đ RIP Batman and Robin (my previous pet hermit crabs).
100. How are you feeling?
   Productive! I practically cleaned the whole apartment in like 2 hours this morning, and just finished another third of this ask! Iâm on a roll, and intend to do homework in a minute. For now though, Iâd like to thank everyone who read through to the end, as well as thank @lovelynhiddenkittens for sending the ask in the first place! Sorry itâs taking so much time to finish it, but Iâm over halfway done now! Whoo~! đ *sets off a confetti popper and basks in the confetti shower* Anyways, take care everyone! I hope you all have a fantastic rest of your day (or night, wherever you are, just have a wonderful time!) See ya âround the bend~! đ
*grabs a broom and begins sweeping up the confetti, muttering to myself* Why do I do this? Every time, I know Iâm gonna have to clean it, but I do it anyway...
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Gotleaker is fake. Itâs an elaborate hoax, and Iâm itâs victim. So are you.
@thelawyerthatwaspromised @reysbae @myrish-lace-love @wolfmaiden25Â @wolfmaiden25Â @tiny-little-birdÂ
Hello, my name is Liesel Stark and I am a Jonsa meta writer.
Or I was, but not too long ago something happened outside the fandom. Something very personal that nearly destroyed my life.
I had a roommate. We never got along, but I hoped it would remain civil and I would find a new place at the end of my lease.
However, this roommate wanted a guard dog. I didnât want this, as I was bitten by a dog when I was a child and Iâm scared of them. Pets are also not allowed in our lease. I thought that was the end of it when she brought it up, but a week later I came home and she had adopted a dog from the pound - it kind of looked like a Rottweiler, and I was scared to death.
So I informed our landlord. However, my roommate, who is the landlordâs cousin, called her and said I was lying. Our landlord came to investigate, but my roommate had taken her dog over to her friendâs house and pretended the dog didnât exist.
I took pictures, but the roommate kept our landlord around her finger and said it was just visiting. It was all so awful.
Unfortunately, the dog was not well behaved, and while nothing ever happened, the lack of discipline and free reign the dog was given over the house meant there was fur and pee everywhere. I would come home at night from work and be greeted in the doorway by one of my worst fears.
One night I snapped and just left and slept over at my sisterâs house. This would prove to be a terrible mistake.
It only took a few days and a broken lease before the landlord realized that her cousin lied. The landlord did pay for my grievance and is giving me a good reference, but she refused to kick out her cousin over a dog.
Bad, but not the point of this story.
When I left that night, my roommate went through all of my things. Like an idiot, my computer pass code is also my phone pass code, which she must have seen me tap hundreds of times whenever I unlocked my phone around the house, and she was able to get onto my computer and steal my identity.
She went through all my documents and accounts, and sent terrible things to my family and friends. I didnât realize it at first until my parents asked why I posted that I never loved them on facebook and was cutting them out of my life that something was happening.
Everyone I ever met had been told some awful lie about me in the span of two days, and every account I had ever used was part of her campaign to ruin my life all because I didnât want a dog for the remaining seven months of our lease!
She was always unhinged, but I never thought it would amount to this. Eventually I threatened legal action, and I thought it was over.
But I didnât account for tumblr. I didnât even think about it for awhile. When everything settled because I threatened legal action, I actually decided to come and log in and de-stress with fandom, but found that my tumblr was gone.
Okay, I thought. She deleted this account too.
I just kind of gave up after that. So much had happened that I figured I would cut my losses and move on with my life.
But that wasnât the whole of it. Because my former roommate is a fucking psychopath.
Iâm not ashamed of the fact that I ship Jonsa (itâs fiction), but she must have seen a possible opportunity to hurt me and took all the metas I wrote, the drafts in my account and computer, and the outline of a fan fiction I was writing to create an elaborate hoax in which she was planning to âoutâ me.
Seriously. What the hell.
I found out because I still browse the Jonsa tag on tumblr and saw mention of some new leaks, so I checked them out. They were suspiciously close to my metas and fan fiction outline, but when I saw the ending of episode two, I knew that it was one of her plots.
She must have been planning this for some time, and I donât know exactly where sheâs going with it, but if the past if anything to go by she plans to dox me and falsely incriminate me for something.
This is just ridiculous.
To prove that I am being framed, an outline to my fan fiction is included below. I expect @gotleaker to blow a gasket soon.
Now, I want to apologize to anyone who has been mislead by this maniac and to please stop believing her because sheâs plotting against me simply because sheâs upset she couldnât get her way.
Please tag and reblog this so sheâs discredited.
And FUCK you Kelsey.
A Time for Wolves
Episode 1 â Bat
Chapter 1
Daenerys and Jon arrive in Winterfell.
Chapter 2
Euron makes an agreement with the Golden Company to betray Cersei.
Chapter 3
Sansa is anxious over the prospect of Jon and Daenerys marrying for reasons she canât describe, and is upset to learn from Tyrion that it appears to be happening.
Chapter 4
Jon is adamant that he will do what is necessary to protect the North and his family. However, Sansa doesnât agree, because she feels the tension in the North better than he does.
Chapter 5
Although initially welcoming of Daenerys, their relationship sours over disagreements largely of Sansaâs making (due to her fears of losing Jon and the North).
Episode 2 â Eel
Chapter 6
Euron betrays Cersei, and in response to the Red Keep being overrun, she uses the wildfire, destroying the city and killing hundreds of thousands of people. She miscarries in the process.
Chapter 7
A settlement nearby is attacked (possibly the Dreadfort so they can reuse some of the sets and it make sense, considering their possible path), forcing Jon and Daenerys to prepare to depart. Sansa and Jon have a tender moment despite their current disagreement, and I think Tyrion is witness to sparks flying he didnât see with Jon and Daenerys, causing his suspicions to be raised.
Chapter 8
Jon ends up showing these feelings because he has been informed by Sam and Bran about his parentage, and itâs eating him alive for so many reasons. Unfortunately, he hasnât told Sansa and Arya yet, because he isnât sure he wants to accept and go public with his parentage due to the political ramifications.
Chapter 9
However, the Dreadfort is lost (and destroyed), and the forces of the North are dealt a devastating blow. They return to Winterfell, licking their wounds, unaware that they accidentally are leading the Night King on path to Winterfell.
Chapter 10
Mid to the end of the episode, Jaime arrives and informs Daenerys that Cersei has betrayed them after a lost battle against the White Walkers. Daenerys, furious, rides off to take Kingâs Landing using Drogon as a threat in order to secure their manpower for the upcoming battle. She leaves Rhaegal to protect the North after a frustrating conversation with Jon who pleads with her not to leave because she is abandoning her people.
Chapter 11
Jon is frustrated by this, and isnât too happy about Sansaâs smugness and seemingly glee (think about: Daenerys is gone, and also going to kill Cersei. Thatâs a win for her), but his anger is due to the fact he fears he cannot protect the North or Sansa, without Daenerys since he cannot control dragons. Bran offers to help. He also makes more cryptic comments to Sansa. I think Branâs vision about her wedding may be of the future to Jon, like previous metas have stated, and Bran is starting to see dreams of spring and hoping to make them happen.
Chapter 12
Daenerysâs actions are not well received by anyone in the North, and when Daenerys leaves, all hell breaks loose politically. The Northerners fear that Daenerys will be a dictator like the Targaryens before her, reminding Jon of Torrhen and his uncle and grandfatherâs deaths under the Mad King. This only further cements his desire to control Rhaegal. Episode 3 â Ghost
Chapter 13
The surviving Greyjoy siblings take an imprisoned Cersei Lannister North, narrowly missing Daenerys as she arrives to the destroyed Kingâs Landing. Since they go by ship and are one of the few survivors, the true perpetrator of Kingâs Landing fall is mistaken to be Daenerys when people outside the city arrive.
Chapter 14
They end up penning a raven that is received at Winterfell that blames Daenerys for the destruction. Her army leaves, no longer feeling welcomed, though Tyrion and Varys stay.
Chapter 15
Sansa is no longer so smug. Sheâs scared, and so is Jon and everyone else. Jon confers with Tyrion, who, knowing about the wildfire, erroneously believes it to be true not because Daenerys purposefully set the entire city on fire... but because Drogon was the spark that caused the wildfire to get out of control. Either way, Tyrion admits to losing faith, and switches support to Jon.
Chapter 16
But Jon sees his power waning, and now Sansaâs political power is on the rise. Tyrion sees an opportunity, but he is conflicted because he is starting to form feelngs for Sansa now and he believes Jon and Sansa are siblings. But heâs certain they have feelings for each other now, because Jon and Sansa are caught kissing after he gives her a blue rose and between all this hyper jealously as Tyrion spies and insinuates himself in Sansaâs company, fearing that Jon, Bran, and Sam are keeping something from him and hoping to use Sansa to figure it out (unaware she knows how the game works).
Chapter 17
But basically, political shit happens following this, and Jon tames Rhaegal. He then âcomes cleanâ to the North. He initially thinks he will give up his claim to Sansa, but to his surprise he is hailed as King in the North and South.
Episode 4 â Owl
Chapter 18
Daenerys is trying to convince the people around Kingâs Landing of her worth, but news of Jon being a Targaryen reaches her. Remember in Daenerysâs vision that the first prominent image we see of the throne room is not the throne, but the Winter Rose on stained glass - a reminder of Starks and shade thrown at Daenerys that she doesnât have Jonâs affections. Daenerys decides to leave and head back to the North, and he meet her army in the Neck.
Chapter 19
But back in the North, itâs discovered the White Walkers are moving towards Winterfell just as Daenerys has departed for it. Fearing that they may be attacked on two sides, Jon decides to meet Daenerys at the Neck with Rhaegal and make a deal. Tyrion warns him that she wonât go for it. Jon mentions a political alliance, but Tyrion tells him Westeros would never go for two Targaryens on the throne, and jokingly tells him that Sansa would be the better wife. Tyrion realizes his mistake, because Jon appears to seriously consider it.
Chapter 20
However, Jon is determined to make an alliance with Daenerys by any means necessary, and though he has a tender moment with Sansa, he departs and arrives in the Neck for a parlay with Daenerys (who flew over land, instead of sea, and thus misses the Greyjoys).
Chapter 21
He initially believes she will threaten him when he mentions that his people wishes she bends the knee, but instead she does (reluctantly) for three reasons: 1, she sees Rhaegal bonding with Jon and is forced to reconcile that he may actually be a Targaryen and she will lose Rhaegal if they are not on good terms, and 2, she wants to be seen as a worthy ruler again and loves Jon... unaware about the Sansa situation.
But more than anything, Daenerys doesnât want to be seen as a Mad Queen.
She proposes that they join themselves in marriage, knowing that is what Tyrion initially suggested, but Jon refuses. She initially thinks this is because she has to prove herself, but really Jon refuses despite initially planning to accept and even offer it himself first on an impulse when he sees winter roses around them.
Chapter 22
However, despite this positive turn of events of an alliance without conditions, the episode ends with combined army at the Neck learning that Winterfell has been attacked sooner than expected and is being sieged by White Walkers.
Episode 5 â Wolf
Chapter 23
Sansa, Arya, and Bran are desperately trying to protect Winterfell. They are being attacked by an advanced force, and not Viserion, but they know it is only a matter of time. Unfortunately, they are surrounded and unable to escape and flee even if they wanted to. Sansa stands at the battlements, wanting Jon to return.
Chapter 24
En route to Winterfell, Daenerys is desperate to prove herself worthy of being Queen and worthy of Jon, mistaking his earlier actions in season seven for love when really Jon was hoping to get an alliance (and stopped pursuing that after Sansa). She takes a risk, and heads off into battle despite Jon telling her not to.
Chapter 25
The scene switches, and FINALLY the Greyjoys arrive with an imprisoned Cersei at Winterfell, helping Daenerys stop the advance White Walker army besieging the castle with their forces and the remaining Golden Company. They inform Sansa of the truth, and Sansa apologizes (unfortunately, no one in the North is willing to take Theonâs words at face value).
Chapter 26
Jon and the others arrive. Jaime was with Jon, and he is shocked to see Cersei for so many reasons, but especially when he learns she was responsible for Kingâs Landing. She is put on trial, and found guilty.
Chapter 27
Despite the North rebuking Daenerys, she believes that Jon will warm up to her after her heroic save of his home and Theon informing Jon of what really happened in Kingâs Landing. But that is not the case, because Daenerys soon realizes that Jon and Sansa have a relationship when they are reunited in an affectionate way.
Chapter 28
However, before she can do something sheâll regret, the Night King attacks, and Daenerys and Jon takes their respective dragons to the sky. Rhaegal is killed in battle, and Jon falls to his death, the battle lost.
Episode 6 â Nightingale
Chapter 29
Starts with Jon surviving his fall like Sansa and Theon did by falling on a mound of snow. Unfortunately, the people of Winterfell need to flee as the Night King licks his wounds for the final assault.
Chapter 30
Cersei is in the broken tower after a cryptic discussion with Bran (he likes those). She wants to die where Bran told her it all began. Jaime and her get into a fight, and she manipulates him to choke her, thereby fulfilling the prophecy. Jaime is horrified, burns the tower with all his crimes, and goes into battle to protect the fleeing civilians and army alongside Brienne.
Chapter 31
He ends up encountering Jon Snow, and instead of going out in a blaze of glory, helps Jon to return to the retreating army. Jon and Sansa are reunited, and Daenerys feels alienated, and is still reeling from the death of Rhaegal knowing he too will be revived by the Night King. She is devastated by the loss of her children and lover. Cue another cryptic discussion with Bran; this time, Daenerys is his victim. He promises her that she will meet her son and husband again (referring to Drogo and Rhaego). Daenerys does not take that well, but nobody takes Branvisions well.
Chapter 32
The army is pushed back into the South in attritional warfare, not having the numbers. They make it all the way to Stokeworth before they are able to secure a castle long enough to defend it. It appears to be the last battle - they will either win the war and live, or lose the war and die.
Chapter 33
In order to secure succession, Jon marries Sansa and their wedding is the last feast before the battle. Jon promises to come home, and we get a repeat of Jon waving goodbye to Sansa with Daenerys looking on in Baelishâs place.
Chapter 34
The battle begins, and Daenerys prepares to square off against Viserion and Rhaegal who are now controlled by the Night King. She takes a risky move, and there is the biggest ball of flame in the sky.
Chapter 35
The three dragons are destroyed, but the Night King survives, seemingly impervious to fire. The dragons are gone, but the army lives on, and Jon prepares to lead the surviving soldiers in a final charge as the castle is sieged and those inside try to hold everyone off.
Chapter 36
But just as all appears lost, Bran wargs into the Night King, momentarily stupefying him, and Jon is able to get the upper hand and kill him, destroying the army. He feels victorious, but when he returns he sees that Bran is dead.
Chapter 37
The snows begins to recede, and Sansa becomes round with child. They return North to Winterfell together with their child.
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i hate to bring it back up but i really wish that di would leave you tf alone. she has some nerve to be sitting here calling people everything under the sun when she knows damn well she was being super creepy and predatory, trying to drag people into shit, and insinuating that you stalk her as if you don't got a whole ass life off of here with better things to do. i'm just over it tbh i wish there was a report function.
I am not going to discuss this latest bout of bullshit much more because honestly I could be doing something constructive, like unloading the dishwasher or trying to figure out how often I can get away with getting my engagement ring cleaned for free in a year without taking advantage our jeweler.But it blows my god damned mind that this 72ish hour romp into insanity happened because her sense of self is so fragile she literally could not handle her friend following me and select others. I should point out I had this user unfollowed due to their association with @dicaptio in the height of the âbad timeâsâ˘. We have not spoken before this, perhaps for years if not ever. Yet,  I was reached out to by that user with a heartfelt apology. So I checked @dicapitoâs page to figure out what the hell was going on and basically this entire saga is an entire temper tantrum because @dicapito lost a friend due to her own behavior.Yes. I know, right?What her insane little manifesto yesterday neglected to provide (along with context, proof, self-awareness, facts, etc) was the reality that her and I go a long ways back. I didnât just pop out of the ground like a gorgeous little shitflower and spontaneously decide to make her life hell or keep apprised of her bullshit for zero reason.As almost everyone knows, she started it.She was just starting in the fandom and was very active. Always having an issues with something and someone, and at the time we first engaged it was her post discussing people shipping daryl x aaron that caught my attention. I hadnât had any interaction with her at the time but she posted something in the tags that caught my attention so we conversed just fine. The problem was my spite fics had not made me popular (understandably) in the c@ryl fandom and someone took the opportunity to jump on @dicapitoâs desire for constant negative attention and drama. They told her a point blank lie, that I shipped b3thyl and that was literally all she needed to make my life a living hellscape for the next year and change. She didnât know me. She didnât know or care about the context. She saw an opportunity for attention from a big chunk of the fandom and took it. And so, I became favorite punching bag daily along with b3thyl, Beth, Emily Kinney, etc. It never stopped. Ever. It even came through on my own dash. From people I followed and admired. It was not a good time.
I just checked my receipts and that first post clocks this bullshit at two entire years ago. Said receipt no longer exists on her blog or the other. Only on mine. As they both deleted and remade their accounts. Unlike meâŚ
Anyway, moving on.I thought that by not engaging I was taking the better path. Being the better person. But that just gave her power. Because at that time her base was large and very happy to hear her bash the things they never had to do themselves. It was a time when fandom tensions were at an all time height and the b3thyl ship was gaining serious traction in the fandom so it was the perfect storm.It wasnât until I started standing up for myself. Engaging her. Refuting her. Pointing out her lies with facts and proof. Taking screenshots. Being combative. Documenting her fuckery that things changed. She lost her base. And then she turned on them too. Doing what sheâd done to the groups above, she spammed the c@ryl tags for months. Hopping on posts just to be an asshole. All the while blaming me for the loss of her base and popularity. She did this in numerous other fandoms as well.And through the process she taught me an important lesson.Sometimes you need to be proactive.Even if it is fucking annoying.But that obviously doesnât fit her victim complex and raging narcissism- so, instead, I am a stalker, hater, pedo, racist, heterosexual jar of unseasoned mayo and the overall causation for everything that has ever gone wrong in her life in general.That tag is so full of her because whether she was after me, my friends, the c@ryl tag or c@rylers in general you couldnât miss her. She was so present and filled with such a frothing desire to go after those she felt wronged her, she left us with a lot of examples to comment on. She has repeatedly threatened me with physical harm, lies constantly, accused me of racism, of making light of her domestic violence assault. Hell, she attacks her âfriendsâ when they disagree with her. So, yeah- whether itâs occasional check inâs, knowing when she is on a tear about me or my friends, or being informed by others, I do make sure I know what she is saying and if necessary make a record of it. Because as the last few days have shown, I always seem to need it to point out her falsehoods and break up her self-narrative.Personally I think the stalking label is cute. I guess I would be stretching too if I kept getting presented with receipts and had no way of explaining them. Focusing on something else at max volume works well for certain politicians after all.Personally, especially after her posts including racist slurs yesterday directed at the people Iâm friends with, I actually asked myself a question Iâve been avoiding, because honestly it is easier to hate her fully for what she is than form any other complex thoughts about it. The question is- is she okay? Truly. Her posts regarding this issue seemed immensely unhinged in nature. More so than her usual fare. Every one of her claims have been repeatedly refuted with facts and/or context. And since I am surrounded with good friends and support, I am as content as possible with not only my response, but my continuing position on this matter.
No one has to like me. Or like the fics. Or like that I keep tabs on her when she gives me valid reasons to do so. But one must ask yourself, given the presented evidence, that perhaps this really isnât about the fics or me at all. Itâs about her.Ultimately, if she leaves me and others alone. I will do the same. But considering she canât seem to keep my name out of her mouth years later, just because her friend decided he had his own agency over who he followed, Iâm not holding my breath.
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RWBY V5E13: Downfall (SPOILERS) and what I didnât like about it
Now, I should place some prefaces before the pitchforks and torches come out. THIS IS NOT A RWDE POST. I love RWBY. I see it as a truly creative show and after nearly 5 years of watching, I am extremely invested in the world, characters and issues of the universe. Now, despite that, I am aware that the show has issues - some minute, some glaring, and some vastly blown out of proportion. I am not one of those people who send death threats to the CRWBY because of a stupid shipping war (you know which one I am talking about) or a characterâs death, but I also donât just accept everything the writers do blindly, as being demonstrated in this post below. That being said, I have one or two issues, one particularly major to me, that I want to discuss in the post below. Obviously, there are MAJOR spoilers under the cut below, so make sure you have watched the episode before reading this - as despite what I am saying, it is still one of the better episodes of the past volume - and then come back to read this. Now, letâs get into thisâŚ
So to start with, I would like to discuss my thoughts on the volume as a whole so far. I honestly have liked this volume a lot more than Volume 4 for one main reason: I havenât had every episode be ruined for me by that half of the FNDM. Not saying that the FNDM is bad - some of the content being produced and discussed is amazing and I love it - but like most over fandoms on this site, the negatives vastly outweigh the positives. Be it death threats (of which I have received several from the fandom - more later), ships being forced down my throat and general overreactions to everything, I have tried to regulate the time I spend reacting to the show more with friends online and in person than scrolling the RWBY tag.Â
But as I was saying, Volume 5 has actually been a vast improvement despite what everyone says: the graphics have had such a drastic increase from just a few months. The action is much better than Volume 4 - everything feels less floaty again and the environments for the fights (i.e. cargo ship, falling rocks, burning house) are much more varied and dynamic. Whilst the story has had moments of slowing down, it never felt to me as if it was unnecessary. Maybe some of the middle episodes could have been cut down to 1 longer episodes, but it doesnât really matter to me in the long run. I will be posting a few posts in the coming weeks discussing my thoughts on how particular characters have played out this season (the first one being quite an interesting read given what has happened in this episode), but if relevant, I will discuss them later in this post.
Now, this isnât to say I hated this episode. The Cinder and Raven fight is quite possibly the most visual and high-octane fight in the show so far, and had a song that I need to own right now. The bits of action we got with Emerald, Mercury and Hazel were⌠good, just give us more please. And the two semblance confirmations - Jauneâs and particularly Hazelâs - were interesting ideas and leave lots of room for future development. However, for all the good things we have in this episode, there were issues. So after all that, here we go.
1. The lack of screen time with villains:
Now, this isnât just an issue in regards to this episode, more the show as a whole, but the villains do not get enough screen time in contrast to the other characters. Yes I know we spent pretty much half the episode with Cinder and Raven, but I would like to focus on the other villains present, being Emerald, Mercury, Hazel, Lionheart and Adam (this wonât be the last you will hear of Adam in this post, trust me).
First, Iâll start with the easiest on this list - Hazel, as he got a vast amount more than the other four present. Hazel in the past few episodes has been amazing, a breath of fresh air in contrast to the rest of the villains - a semi-unique backstory, an intriguing personality and motive, and one of my favourite weapons in the show. My issue is that due to so much focus being on Hazel crammed into the last three episodes that focus has shifted from where it could have been developing less developed characters. I still look forward to seeing more of this Mr. Hyde style villain, but let there be focus on the others.
Next up is the dynamic duo, Emerald and Mercury. My issue in this sense is that there is nowhere near enough screen time or development for these two. All we know about Mercury from his four Volumes on the show is that his dad was an alcoholic hitman who abused him, and that he has prosthesis, whilst all we know about Emerald is that she is a street rat that Cinder took in. That is it from FOUR VOLUMES. And I know you may argue that âother characters like Tyrian and Watts werenât developed wellâ, but the point isnât that they havenât had development, itâs the fact that they have had so little development, despite having ample opportunity to. Mercury was one of the main characters in Volume 3 and everything we know about him was from a less than one minute scene in one episode. My point is that they have been in this area for 2 and a half episodes and have just been there in the background as goons for the protagonists to fight. The Yang and Mercury rematch should have been one of the highlights on the season, and we see it in the distance for about 3 seconds. Just give them more time, or just give us a scene of the two of them talking in Salemâs castle. ANYTHING! They are the only villains that the audience can in some way align with, so let us see them talk.
Lionheart is an odd situation. Episode 11 provided us with a lot of development for him, especially the revelation that he has been working with Salem for years. And then we get to see his thought processes of if he captures Oscar/Ozpin and brings him to Salem, that she will let him be free. âYes, this is the development I have wanted for this intriguing character - what is he going to do in the next two episodes, I wonder?â Oh, sorry Andrew from two weeks ago, he does nothing except fire a few shots at Oscar. Really? You have the opportunity for a really interesting dynamic between Ozpin and Lionheart and you just have him sit on the sidelines. But donât worry, it could be worse - you could do nothing, just likeâŚ
2. The writing of Adam Taurus:
Adam. Oh, Adam. Donât get me wrong, I love you, Rooster Teeth. I really do. But this is the most insulting piece of writing I have ever seen for a character. Now, I will preface this by saying that Adam is my favourite character in the show, as he is the only character to have maintained a constant level of villainy throughout. Cinder did things under Salemâs orders. Tyrian did things under Salemâs orders. Hazel did things under Salemâs orders. Adam did all of those things FOR HIMSELF. He didnât have to cut off Yangâs arm - he did it out of bloodlust. He didnât have to kill Sienna - he did it out of a want for power. He didnât have to send his forces to attack the Belladonna household - he did it because he wanted to. This man has been constantly portrayed in every scene he is in as a ruthless, vindictive and remorseless terrorist. And what does he do for three episodes? NOTHING! He plants the bombs on the tower and just stays there! This is the man that aided in the fall of Beacon, took out the leader of the White Fang in one hit, and even at one point intimidated Cinder Fall.
But okay, they may have just finished planting the bombs and were preparing to fall back to a perimeter. Letâs say that is what is happening - give RT the benefit of the doubt. Then as they fall back, Blake shows up. Okay, coincidental timing, but thatâs RWBY for you. But who cares - this is the confrontation we have been waiting for, not just since the fall of Beacon, but since the Black Trailer. Adam was one of the first characters introduced in the show, introduced even before Yang. This is what Blake has been training for the past few seasons. The embodiment of her past trauma.The literal figurehead of her nightmares. And guess what?
She beats him in one hit. ONE HIT. No fight, no fitting ending, no last laugh. She defeats him with a FIST TO THE BACK. Yes, I know it is poetic - Adam has defeated everyone with one hit, so he gets defeated with one hit. But think about it. We have seen Adam fight in the Black trailer - he is clearly superior to Blake in terms of combat. He should have wiped the floor with her.
âOh, but he was reckless and tricked by Blakeâs semblanceâ - this man was her mentor and partner. He was probably the person who helped her unlock her semblance in the first place, never mind the months/years they spent together fighting in the White Fang. He wouldnât forget about her semblance, it is just lazy writing. Blake has said in the show that she always runs away from everything, and that her semblance is an extension of that. The whole point of her arc is that she canât keep running away from him. And she defeats him by using her SEMBLANCE. All ideas of it being poetic and monumental are thrown away by that point alone.Â
And that would have been bad enough, but they also had to make Adamâs character a thundering dumbass at the flick of a switch. Not only does he threaten to blow himself up knowing that it would kill himself, despite being the most egocentric character in the show, he also only brought 8 MEN WITH HIM! This man is a leader of a terrorist military force and brought 8 men with him to one of the most important missions in years.Â
Now this wouldnât be so bad if they had made it seem like Adam would go down this route, but in the brief amount we had seen him earlier in the Volume, he was made out to have become more ruthless and unhinged than we saw him in Volume 3, a dictator style leader who would transform the White Fang into more of a threat. But all of that development gets thrown out of the window when you completely shift a characterâs personality on a dime.
And my main issue with this is that most of the community is loving it, happy that he is gone and wilfully accepting the writing. I am not going to petition RT to change the show like some have for other issues (such as #BringBackPyrrha) or send death threats. I know that there is still an episode left and anything could happen. Hell, Adam may even bounce back better from this, where instead of leading the White Fang, he ruthlessly hunts down Blake and keeps to his promise of âdestroying everything she lovesâ. I just hope that this isnât the last we have seen of my favourite silver-eyâ- i mean, favourite character.
3. BMBLB:
Oh boy, I am going to get hate for this. Now look, I donât hate BMBLB, never have. My issue with the ship is the obsessive nature of the FNDM rather than with the show. I used to be a Black Sun shipper (Iâm not anymore, but I still think they should get together from a screenwriterâs standpoint) and every single time I would post about ships, I would get barraged by BMBLB shippers. My main issue is people taking a moment of any two characters interacting and saying it is proof that the ship is canon. And I know other ships do this, but never to the extent I have seen BMBLB.Â
So, straight up, THIS IS NOT AN ISSUE WITH THE EPISODE, but just something I would like to say to the FNDM. Just because two characters interact doesnât mean they are canon. So, I would just like to provide some context to a particular moment in this episode.Â
When Blake first enters the hall - yes, she does acknowledge Yang specifically - but this is for one reason. The last time Blake saw Yang, she was being carried away unconscious with a missing arm. Blake knows how ruthless Adam is and assumed that she was dead. Blake ran while Yang was still in a critical condition. She says Yang because she is amazed that she survived, likely incited by having just seen Adam and recalling what happened.Â
Iâm just going to leave it at that, donât tear me apart. Please.
4. The waste of potential
This point is less important, but I feel it still needs to be touched upon. Now, there is still an episode left and, as I said prior, anything could still happen. My point being that - to me - Cinderâs death would be a waste of potential. Yes, it wouldnât effect the show as much as Raven dying instead or someone like Weiss dying, but killing off not only a Maiden, but currently the heroesâ main antagonist and rival would be too rushed.Â
Cinder is a character who has ties to so many characters: she is Rubyâs foil and is the only character so far effected by her silver-eyes. She is Jauneâs main antagonist in the series, essentially being his final goal in terms of avenging Pyrrha. She is the mentor to both Mercury and Emerald, a rival to both Watts and Tyrian, and an apprentice to Salem, never mind the ramifications of being the first (known) human-Grimm hybrid. Killing her here with someone who she only met a few episodes ago would feel too contrived in my opinion.Â
âBut Raven froze her as he was fallingâ. Raven broke out of ice literally last episode and, oh yeah, Maidens can fly. Also, if she is dead, someone would have gotten her Maiden powers already. But anyway, Iâm just spit-balling theories now. I think itâs time we concluded this monster of a post now.
Conclusion
Now look, despite (almost) all of the points above, I did still like the episode and I am hyped as all hell for the finale next week. I just hope that some of the issues are resolved, some sooner than others. AKA, âPlease RT, donât fuck up all the work you did with Adam. If this is the end of his story, then you have wasted vast potentialâ.
Anyway, I hope that you all enjoyed this discussion/rant and I am most excited to review the Volume next week. I will be posting lots of character analysis and theories in the coming weeks too, so look out for those.
Yours sincerely,
Andrew Sangster
p.s. just keep writing adam pls
#rwby#rwby5#rwby volume 5#rwby spoilers#ruby rose#weiss schnee#blake belladonna#yang xiao long#jaune arc#nora valkyrie#lie ren#cinder fall#raven branwen#qrow branwen#hazel rainart#downfall#adam taurus#white fang#haven academy#emerald sustrai#mercury black#oscar pine#ozpin#sun wukong#kali belladonna#ghira belladonna#vernal#ilia amitola
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