#the summer was hectic and busy and chaotic

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

A Fresh Start [1]

Din Djarin x F!Reader

Warnings: use of fake name, reader is hiding from a shady past

Word Count: 4,506

Summary: When you made plans for your future they never involved being hired by a Mandalorian to baby-sit his adorable, green gremlin of a child. However, after your life fell apart in the span of one disastrous night, you found it to be the only feasible option you had left. Nevarro was a far cry from Coruscant, but the thriving community turned out to be exactly what you needed. Every day you spend in Nevarro you fall more and more in love with your new life, but when your past rears its ugly head you find that perhaps peace wasn't meant for everyone.

Chapter #01: TWO PORGS, ONE BLASTER

Chapter Summary: The Marshal is looking to hire a nanny, and you just so happen to be moving into the city.

“remember to live while you’re busy surviving.” -d.j.

Din Djarin was busier these days than he ever had been before. Even compared to years ago, when he was picking up dozens of bounty pucks and collecting quarries left and right, it was nothing compared to now. If he had known that being Nevarro's marshal would be so hectic, he may have never accepted it. At the thought, he sighed. That was a bold faced lie. He still would’ve taken the job in a heartbeat because the pay was better than anything he had ever made previously. Speaking strictly in terms of credits, it was significantly less than the various bounties he’d pick up, but the job brought him peace of mind. It brought safety to Grogu. More than just safety, it gave the child the opportunity to grow and learn in an environment where he wasn’t at risk. They had settled here a couple of months ago, and for most of that time Grogu had been happy and free of night terrors. It was a blessing Din couldn’t quantify. He’d work every second of every day if it meant the child grew up safe and loved.

At the thought of his son, he picked up his pace toward the repair shop run by Peli who had ventured from the sands of Tatooine to the growing and thriving Nevarro. She was usually the one who watched Grogu while he was working. When Peli couldn’t, there were a handful of others in town who were more than happy to help out. Din was eternally grateful that the community was willing to go above and beyond as a favor to him. In the beginning, he had actually brought Grogu with him on the job. It wasn’t absurd. Back in the day, when his journey with Grogu first began, he brought the child along on bounties. A day in the life of a small community Marshal was actually quite tame in comparison. Still, that wasn’t normal, and Din wanted normal. School would be starting up soon, as summer ended, and Din was excited to get Grogu enrolled.

He had a stable job and they had a home. Starting Grogu's education was the next step in establishing picture perfect normalcy.

The loud noise of Peli’s shop filled the air as he got closer. All three of the garage’s hanger doors were lifted and open, and Din could see it had been a busy day for the mechanic. Ships, speeder bikes, droids. There was a large collection of mechanical works being actively repaired.

“Peli! Marshal's here!” A mechanic barked out the moment he stepped into the garage. Din turned his way, but the employee didn’t bother looking up from the work they were occupied with.

Din pressed further into the shop. Helmet glanced around, looking for a blur of chaotic green, but his eyes didn’t land on his son. “Mando!” Din spun in place as the curly haired woman marched up to him. Peli was one of the few people in Nevarro who didn't refer to him as Marshal. She said she didn't want it to go to his head. Other mechanics dove out of the way to avoid her path. Though she was short in stature, Peli could command a room with voice alone. Her jumpsuit was covered in splotches of engine oil. “Took you long enough!”

“Peli.” Din nodded in greeting. “Where’s Grogu?”

“Your son,” Peli jabbed a finger in his direction, “ate a handful of bolts today.”

Din stiffened. “He what!? Where is he?”

“Just joking. He didn’t.”

“Peli, that isn’t funny.”

“It’s not a joke.”

Din resisted the urge to palm the front of his helmet into his hands. He let out a weathered sigh, “Did he eat metal bolts or didn’t he?”

“Not today. No telling about tomorrow.” Peli scoffed. “This shop is no place for a kid! I’ve been telling you that for weeks now!”

Din set his hands on his hips. “No, you haven't.”

“Well, I’ve been thinking it!”

The sound of familiar babbling alerted him to his son’s presence, and Din turned in time to see Grogu quickly waddling in his direction. Argument with Peli forgotten, he grinned and scooped up the child who continued to babble enthusiastically.

“Hey there, you little womp rat.” Din rubbed his belly and Grogu wrapped his arms around his hand in response. The sound of his laugh made Din chuckle himself. As important as his goal of normalcy was, Din missed the uninterrupted time he used to have with his son. There was a lot wrong with their previous adventures, a lot of danger, but nothing beat the long days in hyperspace and hiding where his only responsibility was to care for the child. “I heard you’ve been giving Peli trouble.”

Grogu laughed again⏤ not even attempting to hide his guilt. Peli wagged her finger in his direction once more. “You see? It’s only a matter of time until he swallows one of my tools. Then what would we do? I’d be a tool short!”

“I’m sorry, Peli.” Din chuckled. “School will be starting up soon. You won’t have to watch him during the day then.”

“He’ll still need watching after, won’t he? Your work day isn’t done until evening!” Peli argued. “And what about the nights when you get called into work?”

Din winced, but he kept his head still so Peli wouldn’t notice. She wasn’t wrong. There had been a handful of times when Din's presence was required at the station and he was forced to drop Grogu off with Peli in the dead of night. She lived in a small apartment beside the shop, and her shop was on the way from their home to the station. Stopping to leave Grogu with her was too easy to resist. It wasn't like he could leave the child at home alone.

Grogu began to tap on the side of Din’s helmet and he began to bounce the child in his arms to distract him. “I’m sorry, Peli. I really appreciate everything you do for us. You know that, right?” Peli waved his words away with a huff. As brash and grumpy as the woman could be, especially on a busy day, he knew Peli loved spending time with Grogu and he knew that complaints aside she’d always be willing to help out. It was why he was so grateful for her. “My hands are tied right now. I don’t know what else I can do.”

“Hire someone, you lug!” Peli scoffed. “Get a live-in nanny.”

“Live-in nanny?” Din questioned, not bothering to hide his skepticism.

“Yeah. Someone who can watch little bright eyes around the clock when you can’t. Someone who’ll be there at 3AM when you get called into the office. Why do I gotta come up with all the good ideas around here?”

Din didn’t love the idea, but he couldn’t deny the merits of it. Once upon a time, he would’ve shot it down immediately. However, he wasn’t who he once was. Din had learned that going out on a branch to trust someone didn’t always end bloody. The community was filled with people Din had taken a chance on and was rewarded in his risk. He had friends he trusted, and they never would've been in his life if he hadn't taken the risk in the first place.

“Where…” Din cleared his throat. “Where would I even find one?”

“Whoop, whoop!” Din and Peli both turned to see a mechanic a few feet away. They had been buried under a speeder bike but jumped up in excitement. Dirty goggles hung around her neck and the light pink color of her skin made the black grease stains stand out more. “Howdy, Marshal Mando.”

“Nima.” Din greeted with a nod. He didn’t know every single person who worked for Peli, but Nima was Peli’s right hand mechanic. The young Twi’lek was extraordinary with a wrench if Peli was to be believed, and Din knew it took a lot to impress the older woman. “How are you?”

“Real swell.” Nima stepped closer, rubbing her hands on a rag tucked into her overall pocket. “Not to be nosy, but I heard you got a job that needs filling and I have a cousin who needs a job.” Din tilted his head and waited for her to elaborate. “My cousin is moving here⏤ well, let me clarify, she’s not my actual cousin by blood. We’re cousins by marriage. Her mom’s sister married my mom’s brother. We⏤ wait, they actually got divorced like a year ago so I don’t know if we technically⏤”

“Nima!” Peli barked. “The point!”

“Right, right, right.” Nima shook her head. ���My maybe not cousin is moving to town, and she’s looking for work.”

Din lifted a hand to lightly grasp Grogu’s hands as the kid tried to pry his helmet up. “Does she have experience with kids?”

“Oh, absolutely!” Nima nodded. “She’s a superstar with kids. Total magic.”

Peli slapped her hand against the beskar of his chest plate then pointed at him. Din sighed and gave them both a slight nod. “I’d be willing to meet her, but that’s it. No promises.”

“She’ll be in town by the end of the week!” Nima cheered. “I’ll bring her around!”

Grogu began to whine, and Din thanked both women before making his way out of the garage. It was time for dinner and the child was quick to get fussy when a meal wasn’t on its way. Plus, Grogu had gotten accustomed to nights in the privacy of their home when Din would remove his helmet. It had become a part of their routine.

“Buir, buir, buir.” Grogu chanted.

“I know, I know.” Din chuckled as he unlocked the front door. Once in, he used his free hand to pull his helmet off and tucked it under his elbow with a smile.

Grogu patted his face in excitement. “Buir!”

“Let’s get some dinner ready, ad’ika.” Din stepped further in. Hearing Grogu speak Mando’a warmed his heart. Hearing him speak at all warmed his heart, really. Din was convinced his son knew more basic and Mando’a than he’d shown. The few things he did say he only said in the safety of their home. Another reason Din was excited for school to start, he hoped it’d excite Grogu into speaking more.

Din set the boy down so he could move around the kitchen easier, and he couldn’t bite back the smile of ease on his face. He loved his life, he loved his son, and Din didn’t think things could get more perfect than what it was right now. He just hoped adding in a new face wouldn’t disrupt their routine.

You absentmindedly let your fingers trace the ugly, jagged scar along your collarbone. The wound had healed months ago, but there was something about the rough skin that haunted you. It didn’t hurt. If anything the tissue there was numb, and that bothered you more than anything else. For some reason, it felt wrong that you weren’t in pain.

The transport ship rumbled to a stop as it landed, and it snapped you back into the moment. You straightened in your seat and glanced out the window. A year and a half ago nobody ever spoke of Nevarro. It had been a blip in the Outer Rim for bounty hunters and those hiding from the New Republic. Now, it was a bustling trade post flourishing with life. From where your ship sat on the landing pad, you could see the white and gray buildings of Nevarro stretching out into the black, glassed land of the mountains that sat on the edge of the lava plains. It still wasn't a very large community. Not yet, at least. Your eyes scanned the land beside the landing pad. You had lived in the beautiful greenery of Naboo, the bustling cities of Coruscant, and the sandy dunes of Tatooine. This was vastly different in comparison.

You let a few others leave before rising yourself. As you followed the very small crowd off the ship you stretched your legs out best you could without stopping. It had been a long trip from Mos Espa to Nevarro. The second your feet stepped onto the landing pad you heard your name being screamed by a familiar voice. It was almost odd to hear it said aloud after so much time, but the voice of your old friend kept you from flinching. A broad smile crossed your features and you barely had time to turn before you were tackled in a hug.

“Oh, I missed you so much!” Nima cheered in your ear. She squeezed you tight enough that all you could manage was a small pat on her back considering she had your arms pinned to your side.

“I missed you too.” You wheezed. “And now I’m beginning to miss air.”

Nima released you, taking a step back, and you sucked in a large breath. She bounced in place, her pink lekku whipping around her, “I’m so happy you’re finally here! It’s been way, way too long!” It was true, and seeing Nima brightened your mood significantly. “How was your trip-”

The beginnings of your name began to slip from her mouth, but your hand snapped out to cover her lips. Her eyebrows rose in confusion, and you just offered her a sheepish smile. "Soran. Call me Soran. Remember?" Her eyes widened and you could see a flash of regret in her eyes. She had simply forgotten. "It's okay. No biggie. Just... Soran, okay?"

"I'm so sorry. I just got so excited." Nima apologized. "Don't worry, I didn't use your real name with anyone in town or anything." You nodded and made your way to where luggage was being placed on the landing pad from the storage bin. Nima walked a step behind you. You scooped up your bag, wrapping it around your shoulders, and Nima looped one arm through yours. "I'm so happy you're here."

The words were said with such sincerity that it warmed your heart. It made you wish you had taken her up on her offer ages ago. She began to drag you across the landing pad toward the start of the town. Her cheery attitude and happy-go-lucky demeanor was contagious. She was talking up a storm, something about work, while you gazed at the street you walked down. The path was paved and the street was filled with people milling about happily. A few vendors sold goods in the open at stalls, and you could hear the music of a band from further down the street. It was a cozy and warm atmosphere, and it wasn't the kind of place you expected Nima to settle down.

You met Nima during your teenage years when part of her family married part of yours. The two of you had grown close and without a doubt she was one of your closest friends. Family really. It was why at your absolute lowest you had caved and accepted her invitation to join her in Nevarro. Nima worked at a local mechanic shop which turned out to be her calling. She had always been good at tinkering with anything mechanical, but she was thriving under the instruction of the woman she worked for. At least, that's what she was constantly telling you. Nima had found her happy place, and you were ecstatic for her.

“⏤and Peli is still awesome.” Nima continued. “When we're not busy, she's letting me work on this old Razor Crest with her. It's some sort of secret project and the ship is in really bad shape, but I'm learning so much. It’s the best job ever.”

“That’s amazing, Nima.”

“Oh! And speaking of awesome jobs, I got you one.”

Your eyes widened. “Huh?”

“A job and a place to live. I got it covered.”

“Wow. I’m…seriously impressed, Nima. So, that means your boss is okay with me helping around the shop with inventory and stuff?”

Nima paused, then cursed in her native tongue. “I knew I was forgetting to do something. I was supposed to ask Peli about you.”

“If you didn’t ask her if I could work there, then where am I working?” You questioned in confusion.

“So, the Marshal has this super cute kid, and he needs a round the clock nanny.” Nima gave you a thumbs up. You blinked in shock, unable to find the words to voice your disbelief. She took this as a victory cheered. “I knew you’d love it.”

You shook your head. “No, no. This is a bad idea.”

“What? No way.” Nima shook her head with a pout. “You need a job and you need a place to live. I got you both in one. Two porgs, one blaster.”

“I⏤That’s⏤You said it wrong.” You said.

Nima furrowed her brow at you. “No, I think you just don’t get it. It means, like, you have two problems, the two porgs, and one solution takes care of both. One blaster.”

“It’s two porgs, one stone.”

“Why would I use a stone to hit a porg when I have a blaster?”

“You wouldn’t, but if you had a blaster you could shoot way more than just two porgs.”

“Yeah, but you only have two porgs right now.”

You waved your arms in the air as if you could swipe away the pointless argument. “This is⏤ No. We're done with that. My point is, this is not a good idea. I’ve never been a nanny before. The last time I baby-sat a kid was literally ages ago, and it was for a few evenings. I didn't live with the kid or the family.”

“You’re great with kids. I’ve seen it!” Nima argued in your favor.

“Being good with kids is not the same as helping raise one.”

Nima shrugged. “Nuance. Besides, everything else in town right now is part time work and you said you wanted a full time job.” You had said that. The more time you spent busy, the less time you had to think. That was the plan at least Bury yourself in pointless work. “I mean, you could pick up the job of local physician.”

You stiffened. “Nima⏤”

“Our main doctor sucks. Like you wouldn’t believe. Laziest asshole this side of the Outer Rim. It's the one fault of Nevarro in my opinion.” Nima scoffed. “You would do so much better⏤”

“Don’t.” You said firmly, and Nima grew quiet. “I’m not… I’m not doing that right now. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I’m not allowed to⏤ to⏤” You cleared your throat. “I’m not allowed to practice medicine until the trial is over. Officially.”

Nima squeezed your arm. “The trial will be over before the year's end, at the latest, and there is no way they aren’t throwing that kriffing asshole in jail for the rest of his miserable life.” This was the exact thing you wanted to avoid. It’s literally why you ran away in the first place. “Nothing about what happened was your fault.”

“Nima, can we not?” You blurted. “I just…” Your lungs felt heavy and even though you were more than capable of breathing none of the air you sucked in was rewarding. “Tell me more about the job. The Marshal’s kid.”

Nima shot you a concerned look before nodding. “Right.” She forced a smile onto her face. “He’s a Mandalorian and his son is a 50 year old precious, green gremlin.”

“Um, what?”

Nevarro was shockingly beautiful. You had heard it was, and that it was slowly becoming a staple of the Outer Rim, but hearing it was different than seeing it with your own eyes. The population was about four thousand and it was constantly growing. Every single person you passed took the time to greet Nima, and she took the time to introduce you. It hadn’t been an exaggeration when Nima said it was the kind of place where everyone knew everyone. The two of you emptied out at the end of a street into a large, open plaza. In it's center sat a tall bronze statue of a droid.

“That's the Magistrate's building.” Nima pointed to the tall, intricate building behind the droid statue. It was active with people going up and down the stairs that led into the building. “Magistrate Karga is super cool. He used to hand out bounties to hunters. Wild shit.”

“So, the Magistrate was an Agent of the Bounty Hunters’ Guild and your Marshal is an actual Mandalorian?”

Nima nodded. “The Marshal's Deputy used to be a Shock Trooper.”

“Wow. I’m not sure I’m qualified to even live here.” You mumbled.

“Don’t be silly. You’ll fit right in.” Nima slotted her hand into yours and began to drag you down the street. She had taken you to her small apartment first, to give you time to set down your belongings and wash up, but she was quick to pull you back out into the streets. It was cute how eager she was to show you around Nevarro, and you could tell between her and everyone you met how proud they were of their community.

Nima pointed out a few shops as you passed, but it was clear that her aim was to take you to the Marshal's station. You shot her a dry look that she only grinned at in response.

“Seriously?”

“He needs somebody super soon and you need a job. Plus, a place to live. You think I want you on my couch for the rest of your life?”

You shoved her with a laugh. “I haven’t slept on your couch a single night yet, and you’re already tired of me?”

“Just come on.” Nima dragged you building nestled amongst others. It was decorated similar as the rest of the town with white bricks and dark blue flags.

The Marhsal's station wasn’t overly large. Outside, parked to the side, were a few speeders and inside the front doors was a small lobby with a woman sitting behind a desk. Nima greeted her by name, introducing you in a rush, before pulling you through. The receptionist didn’t seem surprised by this behavior and didn’t make the moves to stop either of you. You wondered if Nima came barging in here often. Was she close to the Marshal?

The hallway from the lobby led into a clean and brightly lit room. The back wall was made of windows where the lava plains could be seen since the station was at the edge of town, and there were three desks planted in the center of the room. Off to the left side were two cells, cordoned off with silver bars, and you found yourself happy to see no one was currently being held in custody. Despite having the cells present, the entire room had a casual feel to it. A dart board was hung up on a wall, darts sticking out of it, and the desks were covered in office supplies and holopads.

“What’re you doing here, trouble maker?”

“Cara!” Nima cheered as a large woman stepped into the room from a different door. She untangled her hand from yours to rush over and greet this Cara woman with a hug. She was tall and broad, and the tattoo band around her right upper arm hinted to you that this must be the Deputy Nima mentioned earlier. The ex-shock trooper. She surely looked like someone who used to work in that line of action. “I brought my cousin by to say hello!”

Cara’s dark eyes rolled over to you in amusement. “Yeah. I see the family resemblance.”

"This is Soran." Nima introduced you with the name you had adopted months ago for the sake of anonymity. “And this is Deputy Cara Dune. Resident badass.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” You offered your hand. “Can I call you Cara or do you prefer Deputy badass or…?”

Cara chuckled. “Cara works.”

“Where is everyone?” Nima glanced around the room. “I’m looking for Marshal Mando.”

“Hey, Mando!” Cara yelled back through the door she came in from. She marched past the two of you to drop down into a chair at a desk. She rested her hands behind her head and casually kicked up her legs. “Our generator out back keeps cutting out.”

Nima's eyes widened, curious, “Oh, yeah?”

“It’s been a wreck since early this morning.”

“Cara, it’s making that noise again. Can you call Peli?” A deeper, modulated voice called out. You straightened in your posture as a Mandalorian dressed in silver beskar stepped into the room. Everything you knew about Mandalorians came from legend and stories. You had never met one before. The Marshal’s broad figure and confident, yet casual pace, screamed power. A blaster was hooked to his hip. He was the picture of intimidation, and you’d find yourself nervous if it weren’t for the baby carrier strapped around his chest⏤ the one with a large eared, small green toddler tucked safely in place. It cooed happily with his hands wrapped around the fingers of the Mandalorians gloved hand.

Nima clapped her hands. “Don’t bother Peli! I’ll fix it right now!”

“I’ll show you where it’s at.” Cara pushed up.

You opened your mouth to argue, but no words came out and you watched in shock as your friend abandoned you with the Mandalorian and child. You blinked in shock, mouth held open. Suddenly, Nima stuck her head back in the room. “Oops. Mr. Marshal Mandalorian, this is my cousin I was telling you about.” She grinned at you. “Cousin, this is the mighty Marshal Mandalorian and his adorable green bean child I told you about.”

With no further words, she left once more. You were gonna kill her. Most definitely. The sound of a throat clearing made your eyes snap back to the man standing across from you. His silver helmet had a t-shaped visor of black glass that gave you no hint at the expression he wore. The two of you just stared at one another for a long moment. Awkward silences were the bane of your existence and you tried to avoid them at all costs. To a fault, arguably. You thrust a hand out to him with a nervous smile. "Hi. You can call me Soran. I'm the cousin Nima always talks about, but I'm not her actual cousin, er..."

"Right." The Mandalorian replied. He shook your hand. "Call me Mando."

"Mando? Like, short for Mandalorian?" You chuckled, and he didn't reply. You rubbed your hands against your pants. Thank the Maker, he had been wearing gloves and couldn’t feel your clammy palms. If you hadn't already decided to murder Nima for abandoning you in this situation, you would've chosen to do it for offering your services to this man. A service you weren't even qualified for. Still, you needed work, a lot of it, and if this was your best option you'd do what you'd have to. “So, is this your son?”

At the question, the child began to babble happily. His adorable, nonsensical words were a good distraction from beating yourself up over asking such a stupid question.

“Yes. This is Grogu.” He responded. The modulator gave his voice a husky quality that was hard not to notice. Grogu was still babbling, but now he released his father’s hands to reach out to you. He opened and closed his hands in a grabbing motion and at the small child’s request you couldn’t help but lift a hand up to him. Grogu grasped at your finger and you offered him a small smile. “Nima says you’re looking for a job.”

Your eyes snapped up from the kid to Mando. “Uh, yes. I am.” It was silent between the two of you again, save for Grogu’s happy voice. “To be honest though…" Your brain screamed at you to lie. Tell him you had an extensive history of babysitting and were well suited for the job. However, lying had never come natural to you. It always left a terrible taste in your mouth. You sighed, "I’m by no means a professional nanny. I’m actually not even an amateur one.” Mando didn’t respond or move his head in any way to hint his thoughts. You cleared your throat. “What I mean is, I like kids, and I’m responsible enough to keep one alive." You winced at your wording. "I just- I’m a quick learner and I'm dedicated to the work I put my mind to.” Grogu tilted his head in the cutest manner you had ever seen, but his father stayed silent. You let out a low whistle. “I am not doing a very good job of selling myself, am I?”

As seconds passed, you were tempted to throw yourself out the back window and find the nearest river of lava to jump into. Just to hide from your embarrassment. Finally, he spoke, “Where are you from?”

Your eyes widened at the direction his question took this conversation. “Oh. Naboo. I was born there, grew up there too, but I lived in Coruscant for a long, long time. Only recently moved to Mos Espa on Tatooine. That's where I just came from.”

“What kind of work do you usually do?”

As if this casual interview couldn’t get worse. You rolled various answers around in your head before settling on the best thing you could. “I worked in a medical clinic.” He was quiet and you assumed that meant he wanted more. As much as you hated lying, as terrible as it made you feel, this was a necessity you reminded yourself. This kind of lie wouldn't hurt anyone. It would protect you, keep you safe. “Receptionist." You blurted. "I scheduled appointments, re-supplied the stock, counted out credits. That kind of stuff.”

“Work…keeps me busy.” Mando said. “I just need someone else around. Keep an eye on the kid while I’m out and sometimes at night if I get called in.” Your eyebrows rose. “I haven’t ever hired a nanny before. I’m... not sure what it’s supposed to entail or the usual pay. I just need help.”

You nodded. “I can do that. I can be helpful. I’m not sure of the pay either, but I’m also not picky. Maybe just a trial period, and see how it goes? A learning curve for both of us.”

Mando nodded in agreement and held out a hand for you to shake. A sigh of relief left you and you tried to pull your hand away from Grogu who refused to let go of your fingers. You lifted your opposite hand to awkwardly grasp his outstretched hand and shook it once. You didn't quite know how to feel about this acquisition. This wasn't where you thought your life would end up. The thought of starting this job filled your belly with nervous energy. You had to succeed at this. Honestly, you were just happy the Mandalorian was willing to give you a chance. More than anything that was what your life needed. A chance. An opportunity. A fresh start. On the plus side, learning how to do a completely new job would be a good enough distraction from your past, surely.

A/N: if you see this on AO3 and think ‘omg she stole this’, I promise I didn’t. That’s me on AO3 too. Pinky swear.

[acourtofmishapandmistakes]

Under Summer Stars

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: In Under the Summer Stars, the scene unfolds at the illustrious birthday celebration of Tarquin, set against the picturesque backdrop of the Summer Court. As the night descends into a playful chaos of laughter and drunken antics, the story centers around the heartwarming and sometimes chaotic experiences of a pregnant protagonist, you, her close-knit circle of friends, and their significant others, as well as your mate, Azriel. From navigating the complexities of motherhood and friendship to rekindling sibling bonds with Tamlin and igniting old flames, this fic covers a lot of ground. Amidst the revelry, unexpected moments of vulnerability and hilarity ensue, leading to a night that promises to be unforgettable.

Warnings: Mentions of sexual activity and brief nudity, along with pregnancy.

Word Count: 5.2k

Authors note: This includes only info from ACOTAR and does not include any background from Crescent City. Also, this is my first more lengthy fic so please read with that in mind! As much as I read, and reread this, there are bound to be typos so if you see them.... no you didn't.

“My love, you can't exactly camp out on the couch all day,” Azriel says. I glance up at him with a package of raspberries neatly arranged on my very pregnant belly. With a grand gesture towards the pile, I pop another berry into my mouth. “I’m not just hanging around—I’m busy making a baby here.”

Azriel grins as he snags a berry from my fingers and eats it himself. I shoot him a playful scowl, the kind meant more in jest than anger, and focus on devouring the rest of the berries.

“I do appreciate you taking a break from your hectic schedule to grow our little one,” Az jokes, his hands gently caressing my belly, “But we've got plans tonight, and you need to get ready.”

I let out a heavy sigh and dramatically flop my head back over the chair’s armrest, letting my hand, still holding a berry, dangle to the floor. “I really don’t wanna go,” I moan, while Azriel steadies the berry basket that's perilously close to sliding off my bump.

“You have to,” he chuckles softly.

“You can't make me,” I shoot back, my head still draped lazily over the back of the chair.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Azriel retorts, picking up the basket of berries and giving me a quick kiss on the forehead before taking them back to the kitchen.

I hear the tap running as he starts on some dishes—my ever-busy, nesting mate, who’s more prepared for this babe than I am, while we still have three months to go.

“What are you wearing?” I call out, curiosity peaking.

“What?” he yells back, sounding puzzled.

“Your outfit,” I clarify, pushing myself up with a grunt and swinging my legs around. While I still had time, this belly was proving to be a real hassle.

Azriel calls back, “Um, pants, a sweater and socks?”

I shuffle my way into the kitchen where Azriel stands, washing a plate with a tea towel casually thrown over his shoulder. “I mean, what are you wearing out tonight?”

Azriel dries a plate with the towel, then hangs it back over his shoulder before leaning casually against the kitchen counter, his palms resting on either side. His fingers tap rhythmically against the surface as he considers his wardrobe for the evening. “Probably the black button-down, slacks, and boots,” he decides with a nonchalant shrug.

I respond with a noncommittal “hm,” and swing open the fridge to scout my snack options. My hand lands on a jar of rhubarb jam. I pop the lid off and swipe a finger through the sticky sweet contents, humming in delight as I taste it. Azriel's chuckle floats over from the sink.

“It’s just not fair,” I complain, scooping another dollop of jam and licking it off. “You toss on anything that isn’t stained, torn, or stinking, and you’re gala-ready.”

Azriel, still busy with the dishes, throws a playful retort over his shoulder, “Are you suggesting I wouldn’t look good in a dress?”

I replace the jam in the fridge, leaning against it as I try and ponder that image. “Oh, you’d be stunning, no doubt. But let’s be real, the choices for females? Endless. Short dresses, long ones, off the shoulder, petticoats, sleek lines, just the right amount of lace…” I trail off, knowing he's smirking without even looking.

He finishes up, turning off the water and tossing the towel onto the counter with a flick of his wrist. I sigh, grabbing the towel to fold it neatly on a cabinet knob. Azriel rolls his eyes but his expression softens as he draws me close by my hips. I rest my chin on his chest, looking up into his hazel eyes that crinkle with amusement.

“What?” I inquire, feeling his hands smooth a stray hair behind my ear.

“You’re gorgeous, whether in ball gowns or in nothing at all,” he says earnestly.

“You’d think I'm gorgeous in nothing,” I retort, half-teasing. “You’re feral.”

He presses a soft kiss to my nose. “Only because I love you.”

I close my eyes, basking in the warmth of his words. “I love you too. But I still have no clue what I’ll wear tonight. Nothing fits since you knocked me up.”

He steps back, feigning offense. “Hey, it takes two to tango, particularly the naked tango. It’s not like I was alone in this.”

I glance down at my swollen belly, half-joking, “Well, you’re the responsible one. Should’ve warned me about the perpetual sweat and swelling.”

Azriel chuckles, striking a mock-serious pose. “Nothing fills me with more hope for our baby than hearing their mother call me,” he gestures to himself, “the responsible one.”

I roll my eyes playfully. “I’m sure you have something, love,” Azriel reassures me, nodding towards the lavish extension we jokingly call 'the second closet.'

I scoff, a smirk teasing my lips as I walk past him, giving his chest a light tap. “Guess I’ll just have to try on everything,” I tease, pausing in the doorway with a sultry glance over my shoulder. “You know, strip down, wander about in the buff, slip into something, despise it, peel it off...” My voice trails off, my smile growing more provocative as I catch the shift in his gaze—lips captured by teeth, eyes deepening with interest. “I might just need a second opinion.”

Azriel’s response is a deep, throaty sound that rumbles through the room, his playful side unfurling. “I’m certain I could be of assistance,” he quips, his tone laced with promise as he begins to close the distance between us.

Before he can reach me, I slip into the hallway, my steps light and teasing. I hear his footsteps quicken, a hint of urgency as he follows me up the stairs to our room, anticipation building with every step.

______________________________________________________________

By the time I settle on an outfit, Azriel has left me breathless no fewer than three times, each interlude accompanied by a chorus of compliments—beautiful, stunning, irresistible—every synonym for 'ravishing' that he can think of. The silver lining to this pregnancy, aside from the obvious, has been the noticeable spike in our libidos. Azriel's hands are seemingly glued to me, and barring the occasional wave of nausea or the fact that my toes have become a distant memory, I'm game for his advances nearly anytime, anywhere. It was actually our rampant escapades that clued us in on the pregnancy before Azriel noticed the shift in my scent—we were both equally wild, seeking out secluded spots in the River House, shadowy alleyways in Velaris, and once, rather riskily, an old woodshed in the Autumn Court while Rhys and Eris were busy hunting nearby. 'Feral' might be an understatement—I was downright voracious.

Emerging from the bathroom, a cloud of steam billowing behind me, I find Azriel sprawled across the bed, as naked and carefree as ever despite our looming engagement. He flashes a lazy grin. “Round four?” he proposes, propping his head on his palms against the headboard.

“You're the one who insisted I get ready,” I remind him with a chuckle, tossing the towel onto the bed and striding toward the closet.

As I delve into the sea of clothes, Azriel's voice floats in, tinged with mischief, “And then you stripped, and suddenly, I stopped caring.” I can't help but laugh, sifting through hangers as I search for something that will accommodate both my bump and the sweltering heat of a Summer Court party in August. I wanted a word with whomever planned the date for this. 

I pull out a floor-length, champagne pink silk gown that gleams with a light pearlescent chiffon cascading down the front. The dress, cinching just below my breasts, seems ready to accommodate both myself and the growing babe. The slit running up the side promises a hint of breeze on what I accept will be another warm evening. As I touch the fabric, memories of wearing it to Nyx’s first starfall flood back—Azriel and I, not yet mated, laughing under the twinkling lights while Cassian, wine glass in hand, serenaded the night with a mix of folk songs and his own tipsy renditions.

Slipping the gown over my head, the bump causes the hem to rise slightly, creating an unintended high-low effect. Nothing a good pair of heels can’t fix. I reach behind to fasten the top but struggle with the buttons. "Az," I call out softly.

"Yeah?" His voice drifts from the bathroom, mingling with the sound of running water.

"Can you come here for a second?" I ask.

Azriel appears, his hair tousled and falling into his eyes, which light up as he sees me. “You still have that one?” he remarks, a touch of nostalgia in his tone.

"I haven’t worn it in a while, but it seems to still fit, right?" I motion for him to help with the buttons at my neck, which he does with practiced ease. He stands behind me, and we both gaze into the closet’s full-length mirror. He wraps his arms around my waist, gently lifting the weight of my belly for a moment. I lean back against his shoulder, relieved by his support.

"Just like I said," he murmurs, his eyes meeting mine in the mirror. "You look beautiful." He eases the weight back down and sweeps my damp hair over my shoulders, leaving a kiss on my temple. "Half an hour," he reminds me before disappearing back into the bathroom.

I take another moment to smooth the dress over my bump, admiring the silhouette from the side.

Azriel returns from his bath, towel-drying his hair with a shake that reminds me of a playful puppy. I'm securing my hair into a low braided bun, trying to keep as cool as possible. I pull two strands to softly frame my face, catching glimpses of Azriel in the mirror as he parades, unabashedly bare, back into the closet.

From the depths of the closet, Azriel's voice floats out playfully, "Hm, what to wear, what to wear—so many options." His mock contemplation sends a chuckle through me as I clasp on a pair of simple pearl earrings.

He emerges moments later, his black shirt hanging open, pants secured, and socks in hand. "It was a tough decision," he remarks, catching my eye in the mirror as he settles on the edge of the bed to slip on his socks. "But I managed to pick the perfect ensemble." He flashes a cheeky grin, and I roll my eyes playfully as I fasten a silver necklace with a tiny blue sapphire pendant—echoing the color of Azriel’s siphons—around my neck, adjusting it to rest just right.

Turning back to him, I see Azriel buttoning his shirt, meticulously placing his siphons into the custom slits designed for them. I step closer to assist with securing one on his left hand.

Giving him a thorough once-over as he completes a slow twirl for my inspection, I adjust his shirt slightly, smoothing my hands over his shoulders. "Do I look great?" he asks, half-jokingly.

"Beautiful," I reply, grinning. "Can you grab my shoes for me?"

He strides over to the blanket chest at the foot of our bed, retrieving the tan, two-strapped heels I'd selected for the evening. He juggles them in his hands, skeptical. "My love, there's no way you're going to keep these on all night."

I shoot him a defiant glare before setting the heels on the floor and sliding my feet into them. "I plan to."

But as I lean forward to fasten the straps, my belly firmly intervenes, making me pause and push a strand of hair behind my ear. I look up at Azriel, who's barely concealing his amusement. "Little help?" I ask, sheepishly.

Dropping to one knee, Azriel secures the straps for me, his fingers gentle. He plants a kiss on my thigh and mutters, "I’m not carrying these all night."

I nudge him away playfully, marching back to the closet to grab a pair of flat sandals. I hand them to him with a mock-serious tone. "Here, ask Rhys to stash these in a pocket realm in case I need them."

Azriel laughs softly, tucking the flats under his arm as we head out of the bedroom together.

______________________________________________________________

We converge with the rest of our group at the River House where Rhys and Feyre have arranged to winnow us directly to the Summer Court. Unlike Rhys, Azriel encourages me to maintain my normal activities during pregnancy, thus making winnowing an accessible choice. Cassian, Nesta, Rhys, Feyre, Azriel, and I begin our descent from the manor, with Elain cradling Cassian and Nesta’s baby girl, Nyx playfully tugging at her dress and waving eagerly to his parents. Feyre sends Nyx a blown kiss, which he theatrically catches and presses to his lips before launching one back her way. Rhys places a hand on Feyre’s lower back, open to the breeze from its low cut to bring her focus on our departure. Lucien appears in the doorway, his son perched high on his shoulders, as they wave us off. “We’ll be back later!” Cassian bellows toward the house.

Lucien shouts back with a teasing tone, “No rush! And be on your best behavior!”

Cassian responds with a vulgar gesture and Elain slaps her hand over Nyx’s eyes to shield him from it. After enduring a pregnancy marked by relentless morning sickness, Nesta found solace in the ocean's breeze. She spent much of her time at Tarquin’s castle, situated atop a cliff with sweeping views of the sea. Tarquin, empathetic and familiar with the challenges of parenthood, graciously readmitted Cassian into the Summer Court, with the strict caveat that Nesta keep him in sight at all times.

With an arm slung around Rhys, Cassian is the first to be winnowed, followed swiftly by Feyre and Nesta, and then Azriel and me. Although I can still manage the winnowing process, a twinge of motion sickness usually follows. Nonetheless, I prefer it to flying, which only prolongs the discomfort. As we materialize on the steps of the Summer Court palace, Azriel steadies me with gentle hands at my waist as I lean forward, taking a deep, stabilizing breath.

“You alright?” Azriel inquires.

I nod, the fresh ocean breeze helping to soothe my senses. Once assured of my steadiness, I take a moment to absorb the breathtaking view. Tarquin has chosen his "Summer House" for his hundredth birthday celebration—an amusing choice given its grandeur. Situated on a cliff opposite his main castle, easily visible across the bay, this secondary residence is no less opulent. Sandstone columns and marble steps lead to grand doors beautifully inlaid with blue and pink seaglass, while orbs of faelight suspended in fishing nets add a whimsical touch. With the sun dipping below the horizon, the sky is aflame in vibrant shades of pink and orange, creating a spectacular backdrop as we ascend the steps.

As we proceed, Azriel casually hands my sandals to Rhys, who offers me a knowing smile before they vanish into a pocket realm.

The grand doors swung open, revealing the entrancing melody of a live band in the foyer. The interior of the house matched the exterior in opulence, with a domed glass ceiling that bathed the marble floor in the sunset’s spectrum. Seashells were intricately embedded in the floor, and the familiar columns from outside now stood amidst streams of crystal-clear water that seemed to flow through the hall and cascade down the stairs. As we advanced, I marveled at the pearl mosaics adorning the high ceiling, a grandeur that left me nearly speechless.

Pulling gently on Azriel's arm to draw him closer, I whispered conspiratorially, “I want to change the theme of the nursery.”

Azriel chuckled, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. “It took Cassian and me a week to paint it the color it is, and you mulled over those two shades of yellow for three weeks beforehand.”

Cassian's voice floated from behind, tinged with mock horror, “If you’re asking me to paint again, you’re on your own.”

At the top of the grand staircase, the crowd below melded into a vibrant tapestry of colors and movement. Feyre, in her flowing turquoise gown, descended gracefully with Rhys by her side, navigating through the crowd with practiced ease. Azriel and I followed, his hand a constant presence on my hip, grounding me.

I scanned the sea of faces for a particular one, but as the crowd parted, I found myself face-to-face with Tarquin instead, his smile broad and slightly tipsy.

“Look who brought in the bats!” he exclaimed jovially.

Rhys clapped Tarquin on the shoulder, wishing him a happy birthday. He then picked up a glass of champagne, offering one to Feyre, and they toasted to Tarquin’s continued health. After the brief exchange, Tarquin turned his attention to us. Azriel exchanged a firm handshake with him, while Cassian, standing slightly behind Nesta with his hands on her shoulders, received a more personal summon.

“Cassian,” Tarquin slurred slightly, his eyes glinting with mischief, “I want to show you something.”

Cassian looked down at Nesta, who responded with a nonchalant shrug. He then followed Tarquin out onto the balcony, his curiosity piqued. Azriel watched them leave with a guarded expression.

Nesta, catching the look, nudged Azriel gently. “Just go make sure Tarquin doesn’t throw him off,” she urged.

“On it,” Azriel replied briskly, striding after them with a determined pace.

Nesta grasped my hand, weaving us through the bustling crowd, muttering how she was going to need a stiff drink to get through this night. Since the birth of her daughter, Nesta had been grappling with intense separation anxiety, rarely managing a few hours away. She and Cassian had attempted a weekend trip getaway and she made it only four hours before returning in tears, taking her young babe from my arms and sobbing into her jet black hair. Since then, Nesta had promised she was going to stop being “mama” all the time and start being herself again. 

We reached the bar located near the grand staircase, where a fae female was expertly crafting cocktails. Nesta ordered a “Seabreeze,” and I opted for a lemonade.

“I can’t wait until you can drink with me again,” Nesta said, picking up her drink. The swirling glitter within the blue liquid looked delicious and I found myself licking my lips as I watched her down it. “You’re the only one who can keep up with me when we dance.” She said before ordering another. 

“Not too much longer,” I responded, caressing the babe within me. 

Nesta looked at me thoughtfully, the blue glitter swirling in her glass, “I want you to have a girl, so Elora can grow up with a friend. Not surrounded by Feyre and Elain’s boys.” 

I smiled at her, I had asked the healer to keep the baby’s sex a secret from everyone but Azriel who, as spymaster, kept that information under lock and key. 

My gaze returned to scanning the crowd, and finally, I spotted the familiar broad shoulders and gleaming blond hair of my older brother. I tugged at Nesta’s hand, leading her over toward Tamlin. As he sensed my approach, he turned swiftly and enveloped me in a hug.

“Careful!” I cautioned, a mix of surprise and laughter, before he gently set me back down on my feet.

Tamlin scanned me from head to toe, his eyes alight with surprise and mirth. “I didn’t know you’d be here!” he shouted, his speech slightly slurred from the drinks.

“I wasn’t sure I would make it, but I figured why not enjoy myself before the baby arrives,” I smiled back at him.

Nesta, still holding a subtle grudge against Tamlin for the whole “cauldron fae thing”, glanced at her nails and offered a cool, “Hello Tamlin.”

Tamlin, ever the optimist about winning back some favor, took her hand and kissed it—a bold move he’d likely reconsider sober. “Nesta, lovely to see you. You look stunning.”

And stunning she was in her pastel green gown with its daring neckline and slits, revealing her long, toned, cream colored legs— her dress, much like mine, but tailored to hug her figure perfectly. “You’re drunk,” Nesta quipped, pulling her hand away with a laugh.

Tamlin’s smirk widened. “Only a little. I would’ve paced myself had I known my favorite sister was coming.” 

“For what? It’s not like she can party hard right now,” Nesta pointed out, gesturing towards my pregnant belly.

Realizing his faux pas, Tamlin’s eyes widened, and he awkwardly placed his hands on my stomach. We were never a family that embraced often, and his sudden affection felt out of place. “I forgot!” he exclaimed. “Hi, baby!”

Trying to stifle her laughter, Nesta shot me a look that triggered my own snort of amusement.

“Tam, maybe it’s time for some water,” I suggested gently. “It’s still early, and you’re already peaking.”

Shaking his head, his blonde locks falling into his eyes, Tamlin pulled me into another hug, elongating the word “great” as if to emphasize his point. “I’m great,” he insisted.

“I just miss you, that’s all,” he murmured, his voice muffled by my hair. “I miss the name-calling and our hunting trips. Remember those?”

“Like asshat and idiot?” I replied, finally managing to extricate myself from his grip. His nostalgia often painted a rosier picture of our past than my own memories did.

In a moment of pause, he suddenly asked, “You promise you’ll bring my niece to see me?” he asked earnestly, searching my eyes.

“I promise, Tam, though I’ve told you—I don’t know the baby’s gender yet.”

“It’s a girl,” he slurred confidently. “I’d bet on it.”

Nesta joined in, “You could make that bet. Rhys and Cassian think it’s a boy. Feyre and I are betting on a girl.”

Attempting to high-five Nesta, Tamlin found no takers and ended up clapping his own hand. “Hell yeah, team girl!”

“Where’s Lucien?” he then asked, trying to shift the topic.

“Home with the kids,” I informed him.

“That old man,” Tamlin scoffed, his drink sloshing dangerously. “Has one kid and thinks he’s too good for a night out.”

Laughing, I couldn't help but tease, “Tam, you’re really drunk.”

“Am not,” he protested weakly. “You’re drunk.”

“Sure,” I agreed, rolling my eyes indulgently.

He squinted across the ballroom, waving vaguely. “Gotta go see a guy about a thing,” he declared, stumbling slightly as he made his exit after a quick, affectionate peck on my forehead.

As he sauntered off, Nesta and I couldn't contain our laughter. “I haven’t seen him this plastered in ages,” I noted, reminiscing about our younger days spent lounging by the lake in the Spring Court.

Catching her breath, Nesta added, “He’s actually tolerable when he’s like this.

I wiped a tear from my eye, still laughing, though each breath was a bit strained around the edges due to the baby pressing up against my lungs. Just as I managed to catch my breath, I heard my brother's boisterous shout, "Who do I have to screw to get a screwball around here?" Sending me into another peal of laughter.

Nesta, pulling herself together, wiped the smeared eyeliner from under her eyes and snagged a champagne flute from a passing waiter.

My laughter seemed to stir a frenzy of activity within me; I placed a hand over my stomach as a particularly vigorous kick landed just under my lungs, knocking the wind out of me. I doubled over slightly, laughing through the discomfort, while Nesta leaned in with a worried look. "Are you alright?"

"Totally fine, the little one just got a bit too excited," I assured her, patting my belly. Nesta reached out, asking to feel the kicks, and when my baby delivered another strong jab, her face lit up with a mix of awe and amusement. "Certainly strong," she remarked.

"Unfortunately for me, yes," I agreed, sharing a knowing smile.

Her eyes filled with nostalgia. "I so miss that."

I gently placed my hand over hers. "I try to remind myself I’ll miss it too. Usually I do a good job, until she decides to kick my bladder and I end up pissing myself."

Nesta chuckled, her hand instinctively resting on her own stomach where her little one had grown not so long ago. I squeezed her hand affectionately. "You doing okay?" I asked, noting the slight tension in her expression.

She offered a tight-lipped smile, her eyes betraying a hint of her inner struggle—the pull to return to her child who, despite adoring her father, seemed to reserve her deepest affections for her mother. "Just say the word, and I’ll fake a headache, or actually wet myself, and we can bolt."

Nesta shook her head slightly, more to reassure herself than me. "No," she paused, then stronger, "No, this is good for me. I know she’s fine."

I squeezed her hand again, offering a gentle reassurance. "Just because she's okay doesn't mean you have to be," I reminded her softly. Nesta wiped a stray tear from her cheek, still clutching her champagne, before quickly finishing it off with a relieved smile.

"I am glad I can do that again," she said, nodding towards her empty glass before setting it on a passing tray.

Together, we continued weaving through the ballroom, exchanging pleasantries with various courtiers—some of whom were so tipsy they scarcely remembered who we were. Throughout my pregnancy, I'd never been offered so many drinks that I had to politely decline. It seemed every mother and elder fae woman felt compelled to touch my stomach, causing my little one to energetically respond.

Every so often, I bumped into my brother, and we playfully stuck our tongues out at each other. However, as we mingled through the crowd, neither Cassian nor Azriel crossed our path. Eventually, we found Feyre, just as a Summer Courtier excused themselves from her company. She gave them a warm, promising touch on the shoulder before turning to face us. With a deep sigh and a quick roll of her eyes, Feyre shot back her drink—a twirling pink concoction that made her wince from its potency.

"Having fun?" Nesta inquired, a hint of sarcasm in her tone.

Feyre, still recovering from the fiery liquid, nodded. "Absolutely. I love playing the diplomat at other courts. I can't really start drinking until everyone else is well into their cups." She then snatched Nesta’s wine glass and drained it. "Can't afford to make a fool of the Night Court."

I chuckled to myself. Feyre might have been slightly tipsy, but as High Lady, she only truly relaxed around family. After many evenings spent with her, I knew her tolerance was notably high—we'd even had a shot contest when I first came to live with them. In my enforced sobriety over the past seven months, I had observed the high fae's love for maintaining a facade of sobriety, despite obvious inebriation.

"Have you seen Az or Cass?" I asked, scanning the room.

Feyre glanced around, her brows knitting slightly. "No, I haven't, actually. Not since they stepped out onto the balcony with Tarquin."

"Where's Rhys?" Nesta chimed in, her voice laced with mild irritation.

Feyre threw her hands up, nearly clipping a waiter bustling by with more drinks—which she quickly commandeered. "Don’t know. He wandered off somewhere when I was chatting with what's-her-face. Haven't seen him since."

"Fantastic," Nesta remarked dryly, "We’ve been here an hour and the boys' club has already managed to vanish on us."

While Nesta and Feyre chatted, I slipped into a corner to send a gentle pulse through our bond. Receiving no response, I intensified the signal, only to get a slight jolt followed by Azriel's slurred, "What's up, pretty lady?"

I turned back to Nesta and Feyre with a grin. "They're drunk."

I messaged Azriel again, asking, "Hi my love, where are you?"

His chuckle echoed down the bond, "Beach."

Realizing that was all the information I was likely to get, I informed Nesta and Feyre, "They're on the beach."

"They left?!" Nesta half-yelled, frustration mounting. "I want to leave!"

Seizing our hands, she led us through the crowd, up the stairs, and out the door. Outside, her braid loosened, hairs springing free as they often did when she drank. Spotting a sign for the beach, she marched us in that direction. Feyre, slightly tipsy, giggled and leaned on me as we followed Nesta.

Reaching the sandy path, Nesta kicked off her heels and hiked up her dress, staggering forward. Feyre and I quickly followed suit, Feyre removing her own shoes and then helping me with mine before we continued on with Nesta, the tall seagrass swaying in the night breeze.

The pathway was lit by fae lights, and the cool ocean wind caused goosebumps to rise on my skin. Feyre held my hand for balance as we walked, with Nesta leading determinedly ahead.

When we finally reached the beach, Nesta scanned the bonfires for our mates. Feyre, losing her footing in a dip, fell onto the sand with a shriek of laughter. I couldn't help but laugh as she lay there, the sand clinging to her dress and hair.

Her laughter contagious, Nesta turned and joined in, stumbling over to help Feyre up as the wind pressed her silk dress against her legs. Without warning, Feyre threw back her head and called out, "Rhysand!" Nesta shouted “Cassian, get your ass over here! I want to go home and drink without clothes on!” This promptied laughs from other partygoers.

When Nesta tried to yell again, I quickly covered her mouth, accidentally getting sand in her mouth, which she spat out as Feyre howled with laughter.

Down the beach, Rhys's voice called back, "Feyre Darling!" Pointing in his direction, Feyre declared, "That one's mine," and staggered off toward the boys.

Nesta, wrapping an arm around me, leaned on me as we followed. Soon, Feyre charged into Rhys, sending them both into the sand, while Cassian's laughter boomed over the crashing surf, nearly toppling him from his driftwood seat. Tarquin, adding wood to the fire, doubled over with laughter.

Nesta settled next to Cassian, her arms crossed and her gaze fixed on the ocean. "Hi Ness," Cassian slurred, pulling her into his lap and showering her with kisses despite her protests. "Stop, stop," she laughed. "I'm supposed to be mad at you."

"You can't resist me!" Cassian declared, landing another sloppy kiss.

Meanwhile, Azriel sat in the sand, a bottle of wine in hand, his smile lighting up as he saw me. Dropping beside him, I laid my head on his shoulder. "Hi," he whispered.

"Hi," I replied, seeking a kiss which he tenderly delivered, his lips tasting of sweet strawberry wine.

Azriel stashed the bottle in the sand, wrapping one arm around me and lazily stroking my stomach with the other. Together, we took in the serene scene—Feyre and Rhys wrapped in each other's arms, Cassian and Nesta chatting with Tarquin, all of us enjoying the moment.

There, with Azriel and our soon-to-arrive baby, I soaked in the beauty of our world, filled with anticipation for the new life we were about to welcome.

[lfghughes]

Can you write a second chance romance fic with Trevor using the lyrics “and I am no longer funny because I miss the way you laugh” and “I’ll dream each night if some version of you that I might not have, but I did not lose” from Stick Season by Noah Khan?

a/n: i just want to say that stick season is one of my favorite songs to exist and his whole album has a special place in my heart so i love you so so much anon

When the break up first happened even though Trevor felt empty he had managed to distract himself. Hockey season was on, his schedule was busy so it was easy to keep his mind off the fact that the girl he was in love with had broken up with him. His schedule at the time was hectic and he wasn’t willing to really make the efforts needed to maintain a good relationship. Once his schedule slowed down that was when it hit him hard.

The person he wanted to come home to wasn’t here but the memory of her was everywhere around his place. He wondered if there were still memories of him at her place. What she had done with some of the things he had left behind. If she had saved the things in a drawer somewhere like he had with her things. As he laid in bed he thought about everything in the relationship.

Her laughter still rung deeply in his mind. He would do or say about anything just to hear that laugh and when she would laugh at something dumb he said he thought he was the funniest guy in the world. Now he knew he wasn’t funny, not without her laughter encouraging him. Trevor knew some answers he could get from going on social media and seeing what she was up to or if she had a boyfriend now but that was painful.

Instead he let himself think about the person he had, that exact version and how happy they were when things weren’t as chaotic. This was how he chose to see her instead of the person he lost. An idiot, that’s how he felt right now. He had nothing fully planned for his summer and all he knew was he hated this part of himself. There was something missing and he knew it was her. She was his other half and he needed to fix what he had done.

Trevor grabbed his phone from where it laid on the pillow next to him and before he could stop himself he called the number he knew by heart. “Hello?” Her voice rang on the other side of the phone and his heart skipped a beat. “Hey, what are you doing this weekend?” Forward and kind of straight to the point. “Not much…Is everything okay?” Concern etched into her voice. “Me and you, dinner this weekend.” He was willing to do whatever she wanted and he just hoped that the answer would be yes.

“Okay, sure..” A deep sigh of relief fell from Trevors lips the minute he heard her okay. The rest of the phone call they spent it catching up on some things. He did manage to poke around and find out that she was still single, not that he would get his hopes up about that. Then all he had to do later this week was prepare for dinner.

The rest of the week flew by and when dinner with her came around, Trevor had everything she needed. They had decided on eating in and he would cook. This also meant that Trevor had to do a lot of decorating because he still wanted this to be kind of romantic in hopes of getting a second chance. From the look in her eyes when she walked in, that was exactly the message she got. Dinner went smoothly and the laughter that would fall from her lips at certain moments was music to his ears.

The night almost passed by too quickly and now here they were saying goodbye. “So Trevor…What exactly is going on?” She asked and he knew this was the moment he had to just spit out his feelings. “I should have taken us a lot more seriously and I didn’t realize what I had until I no longer had it. I don’t know if it’s something you’d want to try again but if you’d give me that second chance, trust me I wouldn’t take advantage of it.” A small smile grew on her lips as she listened to everything she had wanted to hear for months. “I don’t want to just jump right back in…But I’m willing to slowly work on us and hopefully get to where we were.”

[trulybetty]

oct' 26 x jack-o-lanterns

Prompt: jack-o-lanterns (something sweet this way comes p.II) Pairing: marcus pike x f!Reader Word Count: 3,305 Warnings: barely beta'd is the name of the game, all mistakes are my own. mentions of baking, a tiny dash of spice, no spoilers here 💕 Summary: maplewood, a small town nestled in northern bc where people flock to see the changing blossom trees and celebrate the fall season. after losing your job you find yourself a part of the community which includes the towns baker who left a less than stellar impression on you. AO3: linked

x. masterlist | something sweet this way comes part I

Something Sweet, This Way Comes Part II | Jack-o-Lanterns

The preparations for the Trick or Treat Parade were well underway, it was an annual celebration in the town’s main square, outside the town hall. Maplewood, while a small community, serviced a great deal of people outside the town. Many of its inhabitants lived rurally, meaning trick-or-treating wasn't feasible for many of the children.

However, before that could happen the mid month tradition of the Jack-O-Lantern Hunt took place. Businesses and landmark buildings alike all decorated or carved their own pumpkins and people would follow the trail visiting each location on their maps. It was a way to encourage business and bolster the festivities after Thanksgiving had passed.

Black Cat Books was no exception, Libby had been putting the final touches to the store's pumpkin when the bell rang above the door signalling a customer.

“Marcus!” she called out, “what do we owe this please?”

You rolled your eyes as the enthused cheeriness of your friend, you were currently engrossed in the latest shipment of fall mystery novels and the scanning of them into the POS system.

“Evening,” he greeted, looking a little out of his element in the quiet bookstore. “Actually, I was looking for a gift.” 

“I can help you with that,” Libby remarked standing from her stool, “who is it for?”

“Sarah actually.”

“What’s the occasion? Her birthday isn’t until the summer isn’t it?” Libby asked, making her way around the counter.

You watched Marcus out of the corner of your eye as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, “Not her birthday no, she broke her arm on the weekend at her soccer match down in Fort Nelson.”

“No!” Libby exclaimed, “poor girl, she lives and breathes soccer.”

“I know, so I thought I’d get her something to cheer her up. She’s always talking about her visits here. I was hoping you’d be able to recommend a book maybe?”

Libby looked thoughtful for a moment, “Hm, I’m not entirely sure.”

Before you could catch yourself you cleared your throat and grabbed a book off of the shelf behind you, “This one,” you said as you tried to be as nonchalant as you could handing it to Marcus, “Sarah was debating on this one the last time she was in here but said she was going to wait until she got paid.”

Marcus accepted the book, a soft smile on his face as he looked at the cover, “Thank you.”

“You're welcome,” you said, your eyes meeting his for a fleeting second before you turned your attention back to your work.

“So how are you managing at the bakery with Sarah out of commission? Isn’t Maria on vacation too?” Libby asked, referring to the bakeries' part-time weekday employee.

Marcus let out a sigh. “It's been a bit chaotic, to be honest. She was going to be right hand for front-of-house operations this week, and with the Jack-O-Lantern Hunt coming up, it's been really hectic trying to juggle everything.”

Libby took the book and got started on wrapping it, “What are you going to do? The hunt is this weekend.”

Marcus sighed, “I honestly don't know. We're already falling behind on orders, and there's so much to prepare for the parade at the end of the month on top of the pumpkin hunt.”

It was at that point that Libby, forever the matchmaker and opportunist, seized the moment. “You know, my friend here is pretty nifty with her customer service skills.  Maybe she could lend a hand?" she said nonchalantly as she tied the final knot on the gift ribbon.

You choked on your own breath almost dropping the stack of books in your hands, “What? Me? Bu- but you need me here, Libby.”

Libby waved you off with a grin, “Nonsense. It's been pretty manageable here. And besides,” she gave you a pointed look, “it's a good opportunity for you to get to know the town better.” she finished with a not so discreet nod in the direction of Marcus.

You and Marcus exchanged an awkward glance, the tension palpable but it was vastly different than it has been in the past. 

“Think about it,” Libby nudged as Marcus paid and took his wrapped book, thanking her.

He looked at you, a question in his eyes, “Would you consider it? I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t really need the help.”

You really wanted to decline, find some excuse, any excuse. But as Marcus stood there, looking genuinely in need and a bit vulnerable, you felt something shift.

“I'll think about it,” you said, realizing even as you spoke that your curiosity was already tipping the scales. Marcus nodded, a hint of relief crossing his features.

“Thank you, either way,” he said, exiting the bookstore with a small wave to the both of you.

As the door closed behind him, you looked at Libby, who was practically beaming.

“What are you up to Libby?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you volunteering to help him?”

“I think you might have more in common with him than you think.”

“Well, aren't you the little cupid,” you said, a bit sarcastically but not without warmth.

Libby shrugged, “When the universe gives you a nudge, sometimes you have to nudge back.”

“You really need to let up on those horoscopes.”

Libby gave you a weary eye roll, “Plus is it such a terrible thing? Baked goods and coffee on tap?”

The next morning guilt had you dragging your feet across to the bakery, with a good shove from Libby, to tell Marcus you’d help him with the front of house operations for the remainder of the week while he looked at finding someone else to fill Sarah’s position a little more permanently. 

As he’d walked you through the point of sale system he used you realised it was the exact same setup Libby had and soon were able to catch on pretty fast. 

“Seems like you're a natural at this,” Marcus said with a grin as you smoothly rang up a customer's order. “If you ever get tired of helping Libby out, you're welcome here anytime.”

As the days progressed it turned out Marcus mostly worked in the back, managing the oven, mixers, and other kitchen duties, which left you mainly responsible for front-of-house operations. This was a relief in some ways, reducing the awkward tension that had started building up between the two of you.

Marcus had said you could read between customers if you wanted to, but the bakery was so busy you barely had a chance to open the book you'd brought along. People were in a constant stream, some coming in to pick up pre-orders, others dropping by for their daily fix of coffee and pastries, and still, others had come out of curiosity, intrigued by the upcoming festivities. 

Despite the business, you couldn't help but notice how different each customer interaction was compared to the bookstore. Whereas Black Cat Books was a haven for the introverted, the bakery was a social hub. Children would come in giggling, pulling their parents behind them as they pointed to the cookies and cupcakes in the display case. Old friends would bump into each other in line and strike up conversations as if no time had passed. 

And everyone, it seemed, knew Marcus.

As each customer came and went, most had something kind to say about Marcus.

“Tell Marcus that the apple tarts were divine, would you?”

“Marcus helped fix my flat tire last week. Can you make sure he gets this thank you card?”

“Ah, Marcus makes the best chocolate cake. Did I tell you he was a lifesaver during the snowstorm last year? Cleared both my driveway and sidewalk.”

The anecdotes were small, simple moments that seemed to paint a portrait of Marcus you hadn't considered. Your previous reservations, based largely on a whole lot of stubborn pride, started to seem trivial in the face of what you were hearing.

While you had been busy contemplating whether he was too good to be true, he was, in fact, doing good in the community you were both a part of. Your wariness was beginning to wane, being replaced by a blossoming curiosity and a tiny little bit of a newfound respect for the man you'd initially written off.

Around mid-afternoon a couple of days later, Marcus finally emerged from the back, carrying a tray of freshly baked pumpkin bread. The smell wafted through the shop, and you inhaled deeply, feeling a sense of comfort that only a bakery could provide.

“How's it going out here?” he asked, placing the tray on a display counter.

“Busy,” you replied, “I haven't even had a chance to crack open my book.”

Marcus glanced at the book lying beside the cash register, “Well, I hope that's a good thing.”

“It is,” you found yourself smiling, “it's nice to be busy. Keeps the time flying.”

Marcus looked pleased, “I'm glad to hear that. I was worried you might find it overwhelming. Between the start of fall, Thanksgiving, Harvest, the Jack-O-Lantern hunt, then Halloween - it’s almost as busy as the Holidays around here.”

“You know, I’ve never heard of so many celebrations stuffed into one month.”

Marcus laughed softly while he continued to work on the display, “I know how you feel; I felt that way when I first got here. But it's a great way to bring people together and share some happiness. Who doesn't need more of that?” 

“Speaking of community, they’ve all got something to say about you it seems Mr. Pike.”

“Oh?” Marcus raised an eyebrow, “Good things I hope?”

You hesitated for a moment, choosing your words carefully, “Let's just say I'm learning that you're very well-liked around here. People appreciate what you do, both in and out of this bakery.”

Marcus looked genuinely surprised, and then his face broke into a warm, appreciative smile. “Well, that's kind of them to say. I just try to do my part, you know? Small town, tight-knit community—it's what makes Maplewood special.”

Friday soon came around and Marcus had let you know that morning that the weekend was taken care of. Maria was back in town and had said she’d work Sarah’s shift that weekend, meaning it was your last day helping out at the bakery.

Despite your reservations at the start of the week, you had felt a little pang of disappointment when he’d made the announcement after you’d arrived that morning.

You were wiping down the counters when Marcus came out from the back again, looking a little flour-dusted but otherwise no worse for wear.

“How'd it go?” he asked, washing his hands in the sink.

“Busy,” you replied, “but good busy. I think I successfully managed to not ruin your business.”

He took the cloth from you, “It’s okay, I’ve got this, you can head out.”

You shook your head and took it back, “It’s okay, Libby has book club tonight, the less time I have to be there for the better.”

Marcus laughed as he crossed the floor to the shop's door, locking it, “In that case, knock yourself out.”

Marcus flipped the sign to close and you paused, realizing Marcus was watching you, “What?” You ask with a grin, unsure why he was giving you such attention.

He laughed to himself and shook his head, “If you’re not wanting to head out any time soon, how do you feel about lending a hand with a bit of baking?”

“You trust me?”

“I think you can handle it, I’ll do the heavy lifting.” he finished with a wink and before you knew it you were following him to the back of the shop.

Once you were both in the back kitchen, Marcus started gathering ingredients from various shelves and corners of the room. “We're making cinnamon rolls, a seasonal special.” he said, placing butter, flour, sugar, and a variety of spices on the counter. You also noticed a small bottle of orange food colouring and a bag of pecans.

“Cinnamon rolls? Not sure what's so seasonal about them,” you said, intrigued by the setup.

Marcus chuckled, “Ah, but these aren't just any cinnamon rolls. They're pumpkin spice rolls with pecans and an orange-coloured spiced glaze. Trust me; these are special.”

“Wow, sounds delicious,” you replied, starting to feel excited about the baking adventure.

Marcus handed you an apron, and you couldn't help but notice how his eyes lingered on you as you tied it around your waist. “You look good in that,” he remarked as he passed by to pull down a mixing bowl.

“Thanks,” you replied, unable to keep a smile from spreading across your face.

Marcus began weighing flour and pouring it into a large mixing bowl and explained the steps as he went along. “First, we make the dough, then we let it rise. After that, we roll it out, sprinkle the filling, roll it up, and then cut it into pieces. Easy as pie, or in this case, rolls.”

After you'd mixed the dough ingredients, Marcus instructed you on the proper way to knead it. To your surprise, he positioned himself behind you, placed his hands over yours, and began guiding your movements on the dough.

“Use the heel of your hand to push and fold the dough back on itself,” he said, his voice soft and close to your ear. “It's all in the wrist.”

You felt a wave of heat rise to your cheeks, your heart racing as Marcus's hands continued to guide yours in perfect harmony. You had been so wary of him just a few days ago, but now, the intimacy of this simple act was breaking down any remaining barriers. You were becoming acutely aware of the magnetic pull towards him you’d been trying so hard to ignore.

Finally, Marcus pulled away, and you took a moment to catch your breath. 

“You're a quick learner,” Marcus finally said, pulling a baking sheet from one of the cabinets.

“Good teacher,” you mumbled, unable to meet his eye, feeling your face grow hot.

After rolling the dough, sprinkling the filling, and neatly lining the rolls on the baking sheet, Marcus popped them into the oven. While they baked, he mixed the orange-coloured spiced glaze, occasionally stealing glances at you and smiling.

“Want to try a taste?” he asked, offering out a spoon he’d practically made appear out of nowhere, or you’d been that focused on his hands as he stirred the ingredients. 

Nodding, you leaned in to taste the glaze from the spoon Marcus was holding. As you did, a drop of the orange-coloured icing escaped, landing on your lower lip. Marcus looked at you, his gaze dropping to your lips. Time seemed to slow down.

“Hold on, you’ve got a little…” His voice trailed off as he gently reached up and brushed away the drop of glaze with his thumb.

Your heart pounded in your chest as Marcus took a step closer to you as he licked off the icing from his thumb. His eyes met yours, asking for permission, before flicking down to your lips. You felt the air grow thick with tension, a magnetic pull drawing you closer together.

“Is this okay?” he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

Before you could answer, a sudden knock on the front door of the bakery shattered the moment. You both jumped, startled out of the intimate bubble you’d been in.

Marcus looked as confused as you felt, but then you took it as an opportunity to try and shake some sense into yourself. “I should go,” you said, quickly removing your apron and folding it on the counter.

Before Marcus could respond, another impatient knock echoed from the front. “Hold on!” he called out towards the door, his eyes meeting yours one more time as if to say 'don't go.'

But you were already moving, grabbing your purse and jacket. The spell was broken, but the lingering feelings remained as you felt the ghost of Marcus’ touch on your lips.

As pulled on your jacket you heard Marcus greet the knocker. “Bill, you know it’s past closing, right?”

“It’s an emergency, Marcus, I swear! I need a pie, I saw the lights on out the back and you’re the only one in town who can save me.”

You heard Marcus laugh, his attention now fully on Bill, who was from the art store down the street. Feeling like an intruder on the scene, you took your chance to slip out of the bakery with a quick wave to the two men, the bell jingling softly as you opened and then closed the door behind you.

You didn’t look back as you pulled your jacket tighter against the cold wind that swept down the highstreet, if you had you would have seen Marcus watching you as you looked both ways before you scurried across the street to the bookshop. 

Once inside, you took a moment to catch your breath, leaning against the door. What was that all about? You had a swirl of emotions rushing through your head, none of which made any sense when applied to Marcus. You were still pondering it as you locked up the shop and made your way upstairs to the apartment you shared with Libby.

When you walked in, you found Libby sitting on the sofa, flipping through a magazine with a cup of tea by her side. “You're late,” she noted, her eyes still fixed on the glossy pages before her. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, just lost track of time helping Marcus close,” you said, trying to keep your voice casual as you hung your jacket and kicked off your shoes.

“What were you doing, making out with Marcus in the back of the bakery?" Libby quipped, laughing to herself as she flipped another page.

You nearly jumped out of your skin at the suggestion, but managed to roll your eyes and offer a sarcastic laugh. “Please, I still don't see the appeal.”

“That's funny,” Libby said, raising an eyebrow as she set her magazine aside. “Because I haven't heard you say one bad thing about Marcus since you started helping out at the bakery.”

Caught off guard, you felt a quiet panic settle in your chest. You were usually so transparent to Libby, it made you uncomfortable how easily she could read you. “Well, I've been busy. No time for chit-chat when you're up to your elbows in doughnuts and the gossip of the neighbourhood watch.”

Libby eyed you suspiciously but said nothing more. “If you say so.”

“I do say so,” you affirmed, perhaps a bit too quickly. “Anyway, I'm going to take a shower.”

As you stepped into the warm stream of water, you let it wash over you, hoping it would also rinse away the tangled web of emotions that had sprung up so unexpectedly. Your mind replayed the almost-kiss, Marcus' eyes looking into yours, the touch of his hands over yours as you kneaded dough, and you felt a pang of something you couldn't quite place. Was it regret? Longing? It was too confusing to sort out, so you shut off the water, wrapping yourself in a towel in hope of pushing it all out of your mind.

As you looked at your reflection in the steamed-up bathroom mirror, you felt a mixture of relief and disappointment. Whatever it was that had happened at the bakery, it was over now. Tomorrow was a new day, and you would go back to your normal routine, back to your safe, familiar life you’d made for yourself in Maplewood.

But as you crawled into bed that night, the nagging feeling refused to leave you and you resolved to resume your long discarded search for job vacancies in Toronto in the morning. 

Maplewood suddenly felt stiflingly small.

[randomprose]

the rest is confetti

written for the satosho server weekly prompt: wedding [ao3] shoko and satoru get married—twice

When Shoko decided to get married, and when Satoru said it’s gonna be a traditional wedding because of the clan and both of their standing in Jujutsu society, she didn’t think much of it.

When Shoko let him slip that very shiny ring on her finger, she knew exactly what she was getting into.

Hell, she knew it the day Satoru finally got his shit and his words together long enough to ask her out on a date, and she knew it when she leaned it at the end of it to kiss him.

So Ieiri Shoko entered the wedding planning process and it didn’t come as a surprise to her at all that everything would be chaotic and hectic. To say the least.

What did come as a surprise, however, is how…not well Satoru is taking it all in.

While the usual planning and preparation time of a wedding as big and as important as theirs—she is well aware despite not really seeing the point of it—takes six months to a full year, theirs were all set and done in just two months. Which doesn’t really surprise her given the extent of the Gojo clan’s wealth and influence.

In two months, Shoko was ushered in and out of dress fittings and alterations, food and cake tasting, wine sampling (which she thoroughly enjoyed), flowers and decor (which she really didn’t care much for), and all other inanity such as seating arrangements and memorizing clan members. The last part was fairly easy having been in and out of the Gojo estate and having met most of Satoru’s kinsmen since becoming friends with him. It’s the other clans she couldn’t give less of a fuck about.

Everything went relatively alright and smoothly considering both hers and Satoru’s very busy schedule. And all the while Shoko was just thinking they just needed to get through all these frivolities and then they’re golden.

And then Satoru goes AWOL the day before the wedding. Shoko finds him hours later in the clan’s secret garden hiding in the gazebo she and Satoru used to lounge around with Suguru when they would visit in the summers.

“Thought I’d find you here,” Shoko says as she spots him lying on the gazebo’s cold marble floor. “What? Getting cold feet?”

“Marrying you? As if,” Satoru scoffs from his place on the floor. 

“We can still call off, you know? The wedding isn’t until tomorrow. We have time.”

“What, and have my clan and all of Jujutsu society on our ass forever?” Satoru runs a hand through his hair. He has a bitching headache and it's obvious with the way his brows are pinched. “Listen, Shoko. I need you to know that you’re the only one I’m sure about in this whole fucking circus, okay? I’m not backing out on that. And you can’t either! I'm just having an off day that's all! Don’t think you can use this as an excuse to back out!”

“I know that, doofus. And I’m not running away. I’m not the one who’s gone awol and went into hiding the day before their wedding, am I?” Shoko says as he sits by his head, putting a hand over his eyes to soothe them and rid him of his migraine. He’s in the mood for jokes even in his state and that’s a good sign. “So, what is this really about?”

“It’s just…” Satoru sighs in relief as he feels her technique course through him. The pinch in his brows is gone. “I’m sorry for putting you through all this bullshit. I know it’s not your style.”

Shoko smiles exasperatedly. Of course, Gojo Satoru will have a meltdown the day before their wedding.

“Please. Give me some credit. I knew what I was getting into the moment I allowed your dork ass to hang around me.”

“Oh, yeah? What, that you’ll one day be marrying the strongest sorcerer?”

“That you’ll one day bamboozle me into somehow agreeing to marry you, yes.”

“Oh, shut up. You beat me to the punch and asked first,” Satoru retorts, clambering up to lay his head on her lap. “You love me.”

“Of course, I do,” Shoko answers without missing a beat and they sit like that for a while with her fingers carding through his hair until the edges of his eyes have softened and his face finally relaxed.

“Man,” Satoru sighs after a while. “This whole thing kinda got away from us, huh?”

“You know I don’t care about any of this, right? But I’m okay to go along with it all because it’s you I get to meet at the end of the aisle.” Shoko looks at him, really looks at him. “Now, I’m asking you. What do you want?”

She’s asking him what he wants. Outside of him being the strongest sorcerer of their time, beyond him being the head of the Gojo clan, taking aside his duty to Jujutsu society and the world it promises to protect, Shoko is asking him what he wants as just him. As just Satoru.

“You,” Satoru answers without hesitation. He sits up so he can look at her properly. “I just want you.”

“Okay,” Shoko smiles. “Then you have me.”

In the next second, Shoko had sneaked them out of the secret backdoor hidden in the garden’s hedges and into a car. She tells Satoru to drive to the airport while she makes some calls. When Satoru asks where they’re going, Shoko just simply tells him ‘Tokyo’ and to drive fast so they can catch the next flight out. She holds up a finger in a shushing motion when Satoru tries to say something because Suguru has already picked up on the other end of the line. 

Shoko knows their friends won’t be flying out to Kyoto for the Gojo estate until tomorrow. She tells Suguru to round up the gang and to get Yaga certified to officiate then meet them at the school in two hours.

It is only when they’re sitting in the plane’s first-class cabin do Satoru says, “You know I could’ve just teleported us to Tokyo, right?”

“I know, but we gotta give the gang time to get ready. It’s lucky Utahime and Mei are on a mission in Tokyo right now. She’ll want to get presentable first at least.”

They get to Jujutsu High with just enough time for Utahime to squeeze Shoko out of her sensible turtle neck and trousers into a pantsuit at her insistence. She also does Shoko’s hair in a modest updo and puts light make-up on her. Mei-mei hands her a bouquet. 

In another room, Suguru and Yuu manage to wrangle Satoru out of his shirt and jeans into a white button-up and slacks. Kento lends him one of his suit jackets and tames his unruly white hair into a slick do.

They get married on the school grounds at dusk with Yaga blubbering through half the ceremony and his officiation and lecturing them about how they’re impulsive idiots who are a pain in his ass and that he loves them both very much.

Shoko tosses her bouquet and Utahime catches it. Satoru makes a teasing quip about it and Utahime counters by saying she’ll be walking the aisle next for when Shoko divorces him.

Their reception is held at their favorite izakaya and Satoru and Shoko cut a cake bought by Haibara from Satoru’s favorite bakery.

And then, after all the festivities and the congratulations and the ‘see you tomorrow’s, Shoko and Satoru hop on a flight back to Kyoto (because Satoru took a sip of Shoko’s sake and was feeling a little woozy to teleport) and retire to their respective rooms when they get back to the Gojo clan's estate. 

In the morning, Satoru and Shoko get married in the traditional way that was expected of people of their standing, with the Gojo clan and all the representatives of major Jujutsu clans in attendance, the Council, and everyone who’s anyone in the Jujutsu society. Their friends are among the crowd of attendees, no less excited and happy for them than they were the day before.

“Is this your first time?” Satoru asks lowly once they’re arm in arm. “Getting married, I mean.”

“Not really,” Shoko shrugs. “I’ve been married before. You?”

“Oh, same.”

“Good to know we both have some experience then.” 

“Just so you know, Mrs. Gojo-Ieiri,” Satoru says leaning down so only his wife could hear. “I would marry you a thousand times over any day, anytime, anywhere.”

“Eehh,” Shoko smirks shifting closer and bumping shoulders with her husband. “How very romantic of you, Mr. Ieiri-Gojo.”

Shoko and Satoru share knowing secretive smiles throughout the ceremony.

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[wheeboo]

HAHA its a lil hectic but i'm managing pretty well !! so far have been passing all my classes n getting stuff over with so my workload isn't chaotic for the actual school year !! and work has been busy cuz its getting into back to school season ugh,,

YESSS i'm excited to see u more active <33 any plans for summer break??

raniaaa heyyy!!! how are uu?

VALLL OMG HIIII !!! i've been doing good still tackling work n summer school hehe how have u been its been so long 🥺💔💔

[tumbleweed-palmer]

The Green-Eyed Monster: Jimmy Palmer X Reader Chapter One

Part one of a three part serious taking place with the same reader from Scars, found HERE

Jimmy and Y/N have made a choice to take the next step in their relationship but when a face from Y/N's past reappears can Jimmy keep his jealousy at bay? And is his jealousy for a good reason?

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Working in this career meant that life could be hectic at times. There were late nights with little sleep. There were long hours and intense stress. There were canceled plans with loved ones. Jimmy’s job was not easy. It could be draining both emotionally and physically. Assisting Dr. Mallard could be demanding especially given the fact that Jimmy was still taking classes on the side.

He couldn’t find it in him to regret the path he’d taken in his life. No matter how hectic and chaotic things could be, Jimmy wouldn’t trade any of it for the world.

He loved his life and he loved his career. He knew he was on the path for his dream career. He knew he was so lucky to be able to assist Dr. Mallard. It was a chance Jimmy knew that many who hoped to enter their field would probably kill for. Dr. Mallard was well respected and he’d been working as a medical examiner for decades now. Jimmy loved the opportunity to learn from Dr. Mallard. There was so much to learn from Dr. Mallard. Jimmy happened to love learning. He loved working at NCIS. His job at NCIS was a dream come true.

Of course, he knew being in love with Agent Y/N Y/L/N had made him love his job all the more.

How could he ever want to abandon all the chaos that came along with his career when it meant he got to have moments like this waking up by her side after a long late night knowing very well once the weekend ended he’d get to return to work with her.

He let out a soft groan wanting nothing more than to remain in her warm comfortable bed with her nestled close beside him. His aching bladder however made it obvious to him that this wasn’t going to be an option for him this morning.

He reluctantly parted from her side, softly making his way to her bathroom to take care of business, relieved that the sound of her bedroom door opening and closing didn’t wake her.

He took care of business as quickly as possible ignoring how scorching hot he managed to get the water in the sink as he speedily washed his hands. A little pain was worth getting back to bed sooner than later.

He was relieved that Y/N slept through his absence and the door once again opening and shutting.

He couldn’t resist the urge to scoot a little closer to her when he returned to her bed. They usually slept quite close, though occasionally she could scoot a little further away from him in the night than he’d prefer. She claimed it was just that he put off so much heat. She’d pointed out that as much as she loved him occasionally he made her feel a little too toasty in the night especially during the summer months.

He wasted no time to scoot close to her, his arms snaking around her waist. He couldn’t help but to lean in, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead even as she stirred his movement and lips against her skin clearly a bit intrusive this early in the morning.

Her voice was raspy with sleep, she not parting open her eyes as the words left her. “What time is it?”

“Around eight.” Jimmy answered a sheepish smile crossing his lips knowing this was way too early for a Saturday morning.

He wasn’t surprised by the overdramatic whine that left her, she burying her face against the pillow. “Jimmmmmy.”

He snuggled closer to her a small laugh leaving him, he at least having the sense to sound somewhat apologetic. “I know, it’s early, sorry.”

He pressed his lips to her neck as he spoke again. “I just couldn’t help myself, you’re so soft.”

She snorted at this comment peeking up from her pillow, her eyes opening as she gazed up at him. “You couldn’t have waited until after ten to appreciate my softness?”

“I could have.” He replied relieved that she settled against him, finally pulling her face from her pillow.

He couldn’t stop himself from running his hands along her body, one of his hands sliding underneath her t-shirt relieved that she didn’t yank from the touch. She allowed him to run his hand along her torso allowing him to caress the scarred skin.

It was something they’d been working on over the past four months. Jimmy had been making a serious effort to reassure her that he’d meant what he’d told her that night he’d seen her scarred skin for the first time and heard exactly what had happened to her.

It was a slow work in progress. She rarely seemed to shy away from his touch anymore although she still had days where she seemed to struggle. For the most part though when his hands wandered down to that area of her body she no longer directed his hands away or pulled from him.

She’d finally gotten to the point where she would allow him to see her fully unclothed, no longer shielding her torso from his view or his touch during more intimate moments.

It had taken a bit of time and effort to work themselves up to that point. They’d taken it slow, she starting with moving to wearing more sheer babydolls during sex and slowly revealing more and more of her midsection to him as time had progressed.

She’d taken care to at least work through the process with her therapist. Jimmy had even attended a few appointments with her at her therapist’s request. To be honest, Y/N had felt a little hesitant to have Jimmy attend therapy with her, but she’d been relieved when Jimmy had reassured her that no matter what was said during these appointments he wasn’t going anywhere.

He’d proven to her time and time again that he meant it. He was patient and supportive in each appointment he’d been asked to join her. He never judged anything she said. He only listened and made it clear he was there to support her.

Overall, the situation with her body and her past trauma was something they were taking one day at a time. She had her good days where she had no problem allowing Jimmy to touch and see her midsection and she had days where she still pulled away from his touch and gaze.

He had a feeling it would always be a struggle for her, but he was willing to be patient and offer her reassurance when she needed it as well as offering her space to process her feelings and support from afar when she was feeling less comfortable with him touching that area of her body.

He was relieved that this morning seemed to be a morning where she was feeling more at ease with his touch.

He couldn’t stop himself from pressing a few more kisses to her temple, placing the hand that wasn’t caressing her torso against her hair, smoothing out her bedhead.

He worked his lips down to her hers not minding her protests. “I haven’t brushed my teeth.”

“Neither have I.” He replied, chuckling at the groan that left her the response coming from her quickly. “Not really something to be proud of.”

They shared a few more kisses lying in silence for a moment enjoying a rare quiet morning.

He had to pray that there would be no emergency cases this morning, not after the late night they’d had. He just wanted to relax with her for the day without any bodies to autopsy on his end or any cases to solve on her end.

He couldn’t stop the groan from leaving him as he remembered last night and the case that had interrupted their plans.

He’d hoped against hope that the case that had been ongoing for weeks would have finally come to an end last night in time for them to make the dinner reservations he’d made for them.

However, their jobs were never that simple. The case had finally been wrapped up at eleven pm, but their reservations for dinner had been at eight pm.

So, once again the plans for a romantic dinner date had crashed and burned.

It was sadly an occurrence that took place often in their relationship.

Y/N had always done her best to reassure him that she wasn’t disappointed to have plans canceled. If anything she was more upset to disappoint him. He couldn’t help but find it frustrating though.

He felt the words leave him before he could stop them. “I’m sorry things didn’t turn out last night.”

She felt a small frown cross her features knowing they’d already discussed this at length the night before. “I told you that you have nothing to apologize for Jimmy. It happens. We both were stuck doing things we’d much rather not be doing last night.”

He felt a soft sigh leave him as he responded. “Yeah I know, I still feel bad. We were looking forward to those reservations for weeks. It’s so hard to get a reservation at Mini Italia, and I know you love that place. You were so excited when I told you I scored a reservation on a Friday of all nights.”

“I do love their chicken carbonara, but I was perfectly happy to just get late night cheeseburgers and ice cream on our way home. I didn’t need us to get dressed up and have an expensive meal to enjoy spending time with you. We still were able to spend some time relaxing together after the case wrapped up. It wasn’t exactly what we planned, but I still enjoyed it.” She responded, pressing her lips to his cheek, trying her best to reassure him.

She knew that her boyfriend had a tendency to beat himself up when he thought he’d disappointed someone. He was his own worst critic and enemy when it came to perceived failures.

He was allowing the fear that he had disappointed her to make him over apologetic in a time where he had nothing at all to apologize for.

She considered pointing out that he wasn’t the one who had murdered that navy officer starting off the case they’d just wrapped up, so therefore he had nothing to do with their canceled dinner plans.

She held in the comment though knowing that it wasn’t the best way to comfort him. Jimmy needed a bit of a softer approach to soothing his unnecessary guilt.

She spoke again, pressing another kiss to his cheek. “Last night was wonderful. I didn’t need a fancy dinner to have a nice time with you. I had a good time, even if I had to watch you eat pistachio ice cream like a senior citizen.”

He let out a huff not surprised by this comment since she’d been sure to comment on his ice cream choice the night before. He hadn’t missed the scrunch to her nose as she’d enjoyed her own chocolate ice cream watching him take a bite from his choice in a late night treat. “I love pistachio ice cream.”

“You and every grandparent in the D.C. Virginia area code.” She remarked, Jimmy chose to respond by giving her backside a soft swat.

She pressed her lips along his jaw not helping but to tease him all the more. “I keep telling you that spanking me isn’t a deterrent, in fact it just encourages my behavior.”

He groaned, his body easily feeling overheated as she began to pepper kisses down his jawline working her way down to his neck.

She spoke against his skin, her voice still so teasing. “I think I made it pretty obvious the last time you spanked me just how much I loved it. I’m pretty sure I remember your neighbors being pretty pissed the next morning, but my God, it was a lot of fun. We hadn’t been dating that long and I had assumed you were so vanilla, but that was far from vanilla.”

Another groan left his lips, his body so easily reacting to the memory she was recalling.

It had been mortifying to find the less than kind note taped to his front door by his neighbor complaining about the noise the following morning, but it had been hard to feel too ashamed after that night.

As badly as he wanted to sink into the pleasure she was offering him and enjoy a lazy morning lovemaking session his brain couldn’t help but to latch onto the entire reason he’d been so keen for them to have a romantic dinner date the night before.

He pushed back his raging hormones telling the lower half of his body to calm down, as he managed to work the words from his lips. “I have something to ask you.”

She pulled from his neck raising an eyebrow a bit thrown off by the comment given what she was just trying to initiate. She spoke, needing to say it. “As long as it isn’t you apologizing again.”

Jimmy swallowed the lump developing in the back of his throat as he managed to work the words out. “Sorry…I mean, I’m-I’m not apologizing for last night again. I just, well I have been thinking about something for a while now, and that was part of why I wanted us to have a nice dinner last night...I was hoping we could discuss the thing I’ve been considering.”

He paused Y/N’s stomach churning a bit of nervous energy settling in her she realizing whatever he was about to say was serious.

He took a deep breath knowing he just had to come out and say it. “I think we should take the next step in our relationship.”

“The next step?” She questioned that nervous energy fluttering in her stomach, her brain jumping to a thousand different conclusions about what this mysterious next step was.

Jimmy took another deep breath clarifying his statement. “I think it makes sense for us to move in together. I mean, we spend every night together. Our belongings are already at one another’s apartments. It just seems like a natural step to take. It already feels like we live together at this point. So, it…I want to live together.”

Y/N widened her eyes the words rolling through her brain. This wasn’t quite what she’d been expecting.

Jimmy felt his throat grow tight fearing the worst. He spoke again knowing he needed to make it clear that this wasn’t just some impulsive decision for him. “I just, it feels right, making a home together. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, I’ve just been trying to work up my nerve to bring it up. Things between us are serious..I mean they feel serious, we’re monogamous, we introduce each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, I’ve met your mom and you met my mom…my mom adores you by the way. I can’t imagine not having you in my life. Living with you and being able to know for certain we have a home together sounds amazing. I love the idea of knowing for sure that we’re going to go home together every night.”

He paused fearing that he was pushing for too much too soon for her. He had never been the best at gauging if he was too needy. He’d scared off more girlfriends than he cared to admit with his desire for closeness and commitment. He’d always been like this, affection starved, so desperate for love and acceptance. He always had two extremes when it came to commitment.

When he was in his twenties he spent all his time being the one who was afraid to let himself trust and love someone fearing that they would leave him if he got close. The first girlfriend he’d had he’d kept at arm's length fearing she would leave him sooner than later and it was no surprise when she’d dumped him. With his later girlfriends though he’d been the one to beg for love. Once he’d managed to push through any fear of commitment though a new fear had developed. He sought out love and was terrified to not commit in fear they would leave him if he didn’t. The fear of abandonment always hung over his head no matter which approach to love he took.

He took a deep breath finding the words. “If you aren’t ready I understand…if you’d rather wait I won’t be upset.”

He paused again, finding the right words to say to reassure her. “You feel like home to me.”

He swallowed the lump in his throat trying to hide any disappointment bubbling in his gut. “So, if you aren’t ready to live together, I understand, I’ll feel at home with you even if you want us to keep our own spaces for a little longer.”

Y/N finally snapped out of her shock, the answer seeming so obvious to her. She pressed her lips to his gently reaching up to caress his cheek as she parted her lips from his. “You feel like home to me too.”

She paused, continuing to stroke his cheek. “So, I think us living together sounds like a great plan. I’d be happy to move in together.”

The smile that crossed his features was all she needed to know she was making the right choice.

She spoke a small laugh leaving her. “I was kind of worried you were about to propose for a moment there.”

She paused her cheeks flushing worrying she’d made the situation ten times more awkward. Nice going, her brain taunted bring up marriage and make it sound like that’s the worst thing possible while you’re at it.

Jimmy felt his own cheeks flush the words flying out of him. “Not yet…I mean I uh…I do see that as a possibility, just, not yet.”

“I do too…I mean, I see it as a possibility for us…someday you know.” She replied releasing a breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding thankful he wasn’t freaking out by her comment or worse offended by her comment.

“Definitely, someday…in the future.” He replied his cheeks still flushed he releasing his own breath.

They laid in silence for a moment soaking in the excitement and the awkward energy hanging in the air.

Jimmy spoke, continuing to stroke her side, finding the words to drift away from a hypothetical future engagement. “So I’m thinking we could find a place close to work. With both our paychecks we should be able to afford the rent on that side of town.”

“I’d like that, an apartment or maybe even a rental house could work. We could probably manage either, though an apartment might be more reasonable for our budget.” She replied his lips finding hers again the both of them letting the excitement of their future plans wash over them.

Before they had too much of a chance to celebrate the last thing they wanted to happen happened.

They both groaned as their cell phones began to chime with the tone they’d set for work calls.

That could mean one thing and one thing only; they had a case.

…………………………………………………………..

One thing Y/N and Jimmy had learned since they’d begun dating was that it wasn’t easy to stand at a crime scene or in Autopsy and not gaze into one another’s eyes a little too intently. Shooting one another adoring gazes in either situation really wasn’t professional.

Usually they were both able to keep their focus on their jobs and behave professionally. However, after the events of this morning Jimmy found that he was having a harder time staying focused on his job and not letting his mind drift towards the development in his relationship with Y/N.

Jimmy tried to keep his mind on the dead body on the autopsy table and not let his mind get too carried away with thinking about the events that had taken place this morning before work had interrupted everything.

As hard as he tried to concentrate on assisting Dr. Mallard, his brain kept wandering to what had been decided between Y/N and he this morning.

The concept that they were really moving in together filled Jimmy with so much joy he thought he might burst.

He was so relieved that she was just as ready for this next step in their relationship as he was.

He found himself thinking back to the engagement talk as well unable to deny the warm feeling that washed over him at the concept.

Though he was on the same page with her that it wasn’t something he was ready for right this second, he couldn’t deny that the idea of marrying her someday made him feel happier than he could even comprehend. The idea of one day making her his wife did make him feel so warm and secure.

He took a deep breath telling himself that he was getting too ahead of himself with that thought.

They weren't ready for marriage yet. They needed to concentrate on moving in together before they considered marriage.

Right now he just needed to concentrate on finding a place together. He had to wonder if Abby knew of any apartments in her area that were up for rent. She lived in a nice enough area and it could be in their budget.

He allowed his mind to drift off to considering if they should look into getting new furniture or if they should just sort out what they already owned as the doors to Autospy slid open Agent Gibbs making his usual entrance.

Dr. Mallard spoke not looking up from the deceased. “You’re just on time Jethro, but I’m afraid I don’t have a cause of death for you just yet. I can tell you that our estimated time of death does seem to line up with what we’re seeing. Three A.M. is still the most likely time of death.”

Gibbs nodded down at the body as he spoke. “Have you found anything else?”

Dr. Mallard replied holding up a tiny object with a pair of tweezers. “Mr. Palmer did recover this from the victim's neck.”

Jimmy spoke explaining the object. “It looks like a piece of a syringe. We’ve already took a blood and urine sample to send to Abby. We're having her run tests for everything so hopefully something will come up on the toxicology screens.”

He paused taking a deep breath always feeling uneasy when it came to explaining any of this to Agent Gibbs. “There’s no sign of struggle, so most likely his attacker caught him off guard.”

Before Gibbs or anyone else had a chance to say another word the doors to Autopsy slid open the last people Jimmy or anyone expected to see entering the room.

He felt his stomach roll at the sight of Director Vance and an unfamiliar young man. “Agent Gibbs. This is Agent Anderson from the FBI. He has some familiarity with your case.”

Jimmy felt his stomach churn all the more knowing Gibbs wasn’t entirely fond of the FBI.

Agent Anderson spoke seeming all too unaware of Gibbs’ displeasure. “Our team was working with Mike Morris... the deceased. He was an informant on a case we’ve been trying to work for months now concerning the Russo family. Morris had some insider knowledge of the activities the Russo family has been part of.”

“Russo family?” Gibbs questioned Agent Anderson fast to reply.

“Organized crime family, mafia. We had suspicions they are involved in a human trafficking ring. There's been a few dead women found that have a connection to this ring. Our team has been working to track down the killer and we think that he's tied to the Russo family. Lieutenant Morris had a connection to Leo Russo, the son of the head of the Russo family. Lieutenant Morris came to us with knowledge of what was happening. Lieutenant Morris was providing our team with intimate knowledge so that we could crack down on high ranking members of the Russo family. We lost contact with him last week. We just found out that NCIS picked up his body. I believe my team can help find your man. He's most likely the same man we've been tracking in connection to the Russo family.”

Director Vance spoke up making Agent Anderson’s presence even more stressful. “Agent Anderson and a few members of his team will be assisting on this case. They have some familiarity with the deceased as well as one of your agents.”

“One of my agents?” Gibbs questioned.

Before Vance had a chance to reply, the last person Jimmy had expected to see entered the room.

Y/N couldn’t hide how flustered she was as she entered the room her face flushing making it clear she was nervous. Director Vance always made her uneasy. She had to feel the need to impress him and make him never regret giving her a chance on accepting her transfer. “Director Vance, you asked me to meet you in Autopsy. You said it was urgent.”

She paused her eyes widening as she spotted Agent Anderson. “Ryan?”

The fond smile that crossed Agent Anderson’s features at the sight of Y/N didn't go unnoticed by anyone in the room. “Y/N, wow, it's great to see you…well given the current situation, it’s not so great. I’m happy to see a familiar face though. You look great. I had no idea you even transferred to NCIS until I got here and spoke with Director Vance. Hank said you transferred but he wouldn’t elaborate on where you transferred to. I'd assumed you just transferred to the white collar crime division.”

Jimmy felt his stomach turn at the exchange Ryan. Not Agent Anderson, but a first name.

Y/N cleared her throat obviously feeling out of place with this conversation. “Where is Hank? He is the unit chief? I thought he’d be the one down here?”

“He retired last month, I’m currently acting as unit chief. I have hopes that Director Chavez will place me in this position permanently. You always told me I would be heading my own team one day, I guess you were right.” Agent Anderson replied looking all too proud of this accomplishment and the conversation he was recalling between Y/N and he.

As much as Jimmy wanted to ignore it he couldn’t stop a wave of jealousy from settling in his stomach at the exchange.

Agent Gibbs spoke stopping the conversation. “You know each other Agent Y/L/N?”

“I worked on Hank’s…I guess it’s Ryan’s team now…I was previously part of their team before I transferred to NCIS.” Y/N explained avoiding everyone’s gaze her own heart racing and her own stomach turning.

This wasn’t a reunion she wanted.

Jimmy felt his blood run cold at the information. Her previous team, the team she’d been working with when she was abducted while working on a case, the team that she’d transferred out of after the trauma of that event.

He felt bile rise in his throat as Director Vance spoke. “Y/N will be happy to assist you Agent Anderson given her familiarity working alongside you. I don’t think you’ll have any issue working alongside NCIS for this case. I’m sure Agent Gibbs agrees that his team will be happy to assist you.”

Agent Gibbs’ expression said that he did not agree at all, but he held this comment in as he spoke. “Ducky was just giving us an update on the autopsy.”

Jimmy couldn’t pull his eyes from his girlfriend as Dr. Mallard began to repeat the entirety of the conversation they’d just had with Gibbs.

He felt that jealousy swirl in his gut again as he noticed that he wasn’t the only one whose gaze was focused on Y/N.

It seemed Agent Anderson was intent on gazing upon her as well.

Jimmy clenched his fists ignoring the desire to react to this knowledge. He had a feeling Dr. Mallard wouldn’t approve if he pulled a scalpel on Agent Anderson for being a little too interested in Y/N.

Jimmy felt a million thoughts swirl through his brain.

They had a history, it was clear that Agent Anderson and Y/N had a history. Their exchange had hinted at that much. Jimmy had to feel that this history went further than just working together.

He felt his stomach turn as a voice in the back of his head insisted Agent Anderson was everything Jimmy was not. Sure Jimmy was strong and he worked out to maintain a strong core, but Agent Anderson was clearly muscular. He was just as tall as Jimmy, but he seemed to stand taller than Jimmy ever managed to do. Jimmy always felt himself slouch despite his best attempts not to. Agent Anderson almost had that cliche tall dark and handsome thing going for him. It was clear that he was the kind of guy who attracted female attention everywhere he went.

Jimmy suddenly felt quite hideous standing so near Agent Anderson.

He could distinctly remember Y/N mentioning a previous relationship she’d had for a while before she’d transferred to NCIS, but she’d not gone into more specifics other than mentioning it was a previous coworker and it had ended badly. She’d indicated that she was over that relationship and it was in the past.

So, Jimmy had never put much thought into the previous relationship. It had seemed silly to worry about a relationship she’d had before they even knew one another.

He felt sick to his stomach at the realization that Agent Anderson was most likely this previous coworker.

He felt even more sick as it hit him that Agent Anderson wasn’t going anywhere until this case ended.

Jimmy just had to hope that he was wrong in thinking that Agent Anderson was focused on far more than the case at the moment. The way Agent Anderson kept gazing over at Jimmy’s girlfriend, Jimmy had a feeling he was wrong to hope that the case was the only thing on the man’s brain.

He glanced at the bone saw on the table mentally debating Dr. Mallard’s stance on threatening a girlfriend’s ex boyfriend with a bone saw.

[askaalaska-vdeppressed]

Kids and Coffee Dates Ch:3

Masterlist

You were sat on one of the benches outside of the coffee shop. Car parked in the lot behind the building. Old Dogs was a local joint. Your house and the town were just over an hour ride from the city. People were drawn to it’s more varied and robust coffee shops. It kept the shop peaceful. All the regular locals knew each other, and the owner Mazy knew your order by heart. And that you came in every Friday to treat yourself.

The historic downtown stretched out to your left. Cars drove slowly by, even the busiest of people slowing there commute to take in the picturesque scene. You were grateful the bench was in the shade, the spring morning uncharacteristically hot. Or it could be that it was closer to summer than you realized? The time flew by so quickly. You crammed your life with the farm and different projects so at the end of the day you didn’t have the mental energy to dwell on how lonely you were. How empty the house was, how pathetic you felt most of the time, being a single crazy goat lady.

And then Eskel had showed up. Every aspect of his appearance screamed intimidating. From the loud motorcycle, to the low grovel of his voice, to the large scars that ran down his face, ending in a finale of a permanent snarl. Underneath it all was the a gentle soul, with eyes much to weary for his years. The Facebook message he had sent you before you had met had been the first indication. The cautious and apologetic wording of it, like him asking for help was some sort of slight. Than there was the way he had light up at seeing your farm facilities. All the intimidation and tension seemed to melt away from him as he watched the animals play.  

You weren’t sure if asking him out so quickly was a good idea, but you never did excel at subtlety. It was easier to be clear and say what you meant. You didn’t want Eskel to leave your life just yet. In fact you wanted him to stay for quite a while.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the familiar rumble of a bike engine. You watched as the familiar black and red motorcycle pulled into the lot across the street. Standing so Eskel could see you better as he made his way over the crosswalk.

“I see you found the place just fine.” You said leading the way, holding the door open for Eskel to walk inside.

The interior of the shop was rustic in nature. Metal siding surround the large counter that sat center right in the shop. The somewhat chaotic bar sat behind the register. Two chairs sat by the entrance on the right side. They were plush and upholstered with a sketchy cartoon dog print.  A counter with stools sat on the left.  Two small tables sat across from the counter.  Dog paintings hung on the walls along with shelves holding bags of home roasted beans.

You both ordered and sat in the cartoon dog chairs to wait. Eskel laughed slightly when he noticed the chairs’ print.

“Talk about commitment to theming.” He remarked as he scrutinized his chair’s armrest.

“I swear they named this place Old Dogs so they could justify buying a bunch of dog themed stuffed. Hell I would even wager these chairs might have been the catalyst” Eskel laughed at the comment.

“The town here seems really nice. I usually don’t ever come out this way but I kinda wish I had now. This place is damn near quaint.”

“Well don’t tell your friends. I like my small quiet town just the way it is.”

“I get it, even where the stable’s located is getting hectic at this point. Good for business I suppose but bad for any semblance of peace.” You hummed at this, taking notes.

“So you work at a stable then?”

“Uhhh yeah, my father owns it, my brothers and I all work there.” Eskel leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees.

“So what about you? I mean are the goats more like your job or just a hobby?”

“The goats are my breadwinners yes, though at any given time I probably have 3 other side projects going.”

“How do you run a business like that full time? I’m just curious because I imagine that just getting customers for that kind of thing must be difficult.” You shuffled your feet at this, the truth of how you got the majority of your business a bit odd to say the least.

“You wanna know the truth?” You asked Eskel

“Uhhh of course” He said playfully.

“Promise you wont laugh” Eskel sat up, crossing his fingers over his heart before gesturing for you to continue.

“I get most of my customers from Tiktok.”

“Are you serious?” Eskel looked at you with a mix of confusion and shock.

“As a heart attack, I take videos of the process and post them, baby goats do numbers for sales it turns out”  

Your order was called out, shortly followed by Eskels’. You both decided to take your drinks and walk around the town. As you walked out of Old Dogs the warm humid wind hit your face and you thanked the heavens you had gone for something iced. The two of you walked slowly. Eskel looked at all the small shops and people around. You gazed at the mesmerized look on Eskel’s face as he took everything in.

“I had meant to ask you” Eskel turned toward you as he spoke and you quicky had to look away so as not to be caught staring. “Your house looked kinda historic, do you know if it’s got some sort of something to it?”

“Yeah it actually used to be a school house way back in the day. Over time people added onto it to make it a house. It’s drafty as hell I’ll tell you that.” You both chuckled. “One of my many side projects is fixing it up little by little, though I am hopelessly lost on most carpentry, the internet is a magnificent teacher.”

“Really? I wouldn’t have thought you’d get decent internet out this far.”

“I never said decent my dear I just said internet”

~

The sun was setting as the pair of you walked back, drinks long since drained and topics of conversation shifted many times over. You learned a lot about Eskel. He and his dad were both history buffs, though is father was much more serious than him. His fathers was Vesemir and he had a step-mother named Mary-Ann who he didn’t get along with. Eskel didn’t tell you that, but it was pretty easy to figure out just by how he spoke about her. He had two brothers though you hadn’t learned there names yet. You learned Eskel was more of sweet rather than salty guy and knew a lot of the local bakeries in his area. Eskel liked motorcycles which you already knew but you learned he liked them more because it meant he never had to give anyone rides as a favor. Eskel did not like flying or planes or airports. The last thing he had let you in on was that he owned his own horse that he kept at his father’s stable. He had won the horse from a bet made with a friend of the family.

At some point after your cups had been disposed you hand had found it’s in Eskel’s. Neither of you were really conscious of it till you came to a stop outside of the now closed coffee shop. Both of you reluctantly letting go. That same reluctance followed as you started your goodbyes.

“I had a really nice time today”

“Me too, do you uhhhhh, do you wanna maybe do something again next week? There’s this uh park with some walking trails not too far from me.” You smiled as Eskel sheepishly looked at the ground.

‘I’ll bring my walking shoes.”

Eskel looked up at you and smiled before nodding and turning to cross the street. You leaned against the side of the coffee shop and gazed as the setting sun bathed Eskel in a wave of sweet orange passion.

[robinrunsfiction]

CAN I GET A FRANK X READER FIC WHERE THE BAND GOES OUT FOR LUNCH AND Y/N STAYS AT THE BUS AND SLEEPS IN FRANKS BUNK AND THEY GET BACK AND FRANK SEES HER AND JUST GETS INTO BED WITH HER AHD HOLDS HER AND ITS ALL FLUFFY

Hold You Here

Pairing: Frank Iero x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: Anons Word Count: 2,000 Author’s Note: I’m combining this with another similar request, which resulted in a longer story! I hope everyone enjoys! TW for a brief mention of Gerard’s addiction struggles in 2004

To be in a band meant that your bandmates were your most intimate friends. Hours, days, weeks spent cramped together in small confined spaces meant that everyone saw each other at their best, worst, and everything in between. Platonic physical affection wasn’t an unusual occurrence and neither was sharing beds so that the fewest number of hotel rooms could be reserved to save money, curling up under a blanket together while watching a movie on the bus, not to mention all the on-stage antics, it was all taken in stride. 

It also helped that everyone looked out for each other, but it seemed as if Frank looked out for you more than the others. When things became hectic, or when you were suffering from one of your migraines, he’d always be the one checking up on you to make sure you were okay. Spending hours up late at night talking with him was one of your favorite ways to pass time on the bus. You’d developed quite the soft spot for the chaotic guitarist.

The band had been touring what felt like non-stop for ages, but especially now that Three Cheers was out. It had been a very long, hot summer full of meeting fans, rocking out, and if you were being honest with yourself, way too much partying on everyone’s part. You were feeling pretty burnt out, but the success of the band made it worth it.

Now it was the last week of Warped Tour 2004 and you could tell summer was ending by how quickly the nights were cooling down. As usual when the tour was stopped over for a couple nights, both a bonfire, and most of the bands, were lit. You were standing as close to the fire as you could without melting the rubber on your chucks trying to keep warm.

“Hey,” Frank said, walking over to stand next to you.

“Hey, how’s it goin?” You asked

“Good. Cold?”

“Yea,” you rolled your eyes. “I decided to dress cute, and now I’m freezing my ass off.”

“Who were you dressing up for?” Frank asked, unzipping his hoodie.

“No one really,” you replied, watching as he took off the sweatshirt. “What are you doing?”

“Keeping you warm,” he replied.

“You don’t have to,” you started as he put it over your shoulders.

“Too late,” he replied with a smirk that faded into a soft smile.

You looked up at him, in the dim light of the bonfire and you felt your heart skip, like a switch had been flipped. That soft spot you held in your heart for him suddenly felt overwhelmed, like the quiet feelings were now screaming in your ears.

“I bet it’s warmer on the bus,” you suggested, deciding to lean into the moment. You just hoped you were gauging the situation correctly.

His eyebrows went up in surprise, but he nodded. “I bet you’re right, wanna go back?”

“Yea.”

The walk across the parking lot was silent, as your hands brushed against each other’s, shoulders bumping occasionally. Climbing into the bus, you wandered to the back and confirmed no one else was around, and when you turned back to Frank he seemed a little nervous.

“Ya know you do look really cute. Like not just tonight, like all the time,” he said.

“Thanks,” you replied, tucking your hair behind your ear nervously. You were in your 20s, why were you suddenly feeling like a middle schooler talking to their crush?

“Wanna watch a movie or something?” He offered after an awkward silence hung between you.

“Sure. Nothing scary though, I’m tired of horror.”

“How can you be tired of horror?” Frank asked with feigned shock.

“Because that’s all we watch and we’ve watched almost every movie we have 100 times over.”

Frank started flipping through the stack of DVDs that the band had accumulated through countless tours. “What about ‘10 Things I Hate About You’?” he asked. 

“Yes,” you nodded eagerly, plopping down on the couch and pulling off your shoes.

Frank put the movie in the DVD player and turned off the lights, sitting next to you. You glanced over, trying to gauge what he was thinking. He glanced back and you snapped your eyes back to the tv. As the movie progressed, Frank casually put his arm over the back of the couch and you settled into his side. 

“I wanna go play paintball, like real paintball, some time,” you said, watching Kat and Patrick’s date on the screen.

“We should go then,” Frank replied.

“Just us? Or,” you trailed off.

“Yea, I mean unless you wanna invite other people.”

You looked up at him, and he was looking back down at you. "No, just us," you said softly.

"Cool," he said with a goofy smile.

You had to bite your lip to keep from giggling, but in that moment, the energy between you shifted. Frank started to lean in and you closed your eyes as his lips met yours. At first the kiss was soft and tender, almost tentative. But then his arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer and your hand ran through his hair as he deepened the kiss. 

When you finally came up for air, you couldn't help the smile on your face when you saw how happy Frank looked. "That was fun," you laughed.

"I've been wanting to do that forever," he said, running a hand through his hair, smoothing it down.

"Well we should do it again sometime," you replied.

Just then, loud, drunken voices could be heard outside the door to the bus and you both jumped apart.

"They're in here makin' out or something," Ray shouted over his shoulder with a giggle. You knew there was no way they could have seen you two just minutes before, but the joke still rattled you.

"No they weren't," Mikey said disbelievingly, as he and Gerard followed.

You glanced at Frank who was shaking his head at your bandmates before he changed the subject to something totally random. Things had literally just started with him, and it felt fragile. The last thing you wanted was to have it all fall apart like nothing happened, and be left wondering forever what could have been.

The next day, nothing about the prior night was discussed between you and Frank, but it had been a busy day of press, playing, and meeting fans. When you were climbing back into your bunk, completely exhausted, you spotted a folded up piece of paper on your pillow. You closed the curtain behind you and turned on the small light above your bed. When you unfolded the note, you immediately recognized Frank's scrawling handwriting. 

(YN), all I've been able to think about today is how your lips felt on mine and wondering when I can feel it again. I can't remember anything that was said to me because I was thinking about how I'd rather just be talking to you. I hope sometime before the end of this tour we can hang out alone together again.

XO, frnk

You bit your lip to keep from squealing with delight.

~

The last few days of Warped Tour were just as much of a blur, and when that tour was over, you were quickly shipped off to another one. Gerard was struggling and the whole band was impacted. Everyone dealt with it in their own way, and luckily you had Frank to brush away the worried tears when your brain wouldn't quiet enough to let you sleep at night. 

Soon after, Gerard got the help he needed and when he rejoined the band, you were immediately sent back out on the road. Everything felt a little brighter that fall.

You and Frank were as good as ever, but still keeping your relationship quiet. His hand would find yours when no one else was around. You'd each sneak into each other's bunks and spend the nights cuddled together. Then there was the series of excuses as to why you two should share hotel rooms, which included Mikey texting too much, Ray talking too much, and Gerard keeping the light on all night drawing, among others.

So when you were blindsided with a migraine one morning, you were not at all pleased. The pain throbbed through your head as nausea rolled through your stomach. You groaned as you slid out of your bunk and stumbled to the front of the bus, which was obnoxiously bright, to the cabinet holding the medicine. 

"There's sleeping beauty," you heard Ray laugh, but you just grunted in response. You grabbed the bottle of Excedrin and silently prayed they'd do their job quickly as you took a dose.

"You ok?" Frank asked as you slumped down on the couch.

"No, migraine."

Your bandmates groaned, knowing how much of a pain, literally and figuratively, they were for you.

"So you don't wanna go grab lunch?" Mikey asked.

"Please don't make me think about food or I might get sick."

"Do you want me to stay back with you?" Frank offered. It didn't even register how much concern he was showing toward you.

"No, I just wanna sleep and hope it goes away before we have to play tonight."

"Ok, we'll leave you alone. Come on guys," Gerard said, shooing the guys out. You glanced up and saw Frank giving you a sympathetic look before leaving the bus.

You dragged yourself back to the bunks, closing the door to the main room behind you and looked at your bunk. There was no way in hell you were climbing back up into it. Instead climbed into Frank's. 

You pulled his blanket over you as you curled up in a ball facing the wall. His pillow smelled faintly of his shampoo, but not enough to make you feel sick, or maybe the medication was finally kicking in.

It felt like no sooner you'd fallen asleep that you heard voices in the front of the bus. You wondered how long you’d been out, but didn’t care enough to check the time. Before you could drift off again you heard the door opening and closing softly. Shuffling steps stopped behind you and then you felt someone climb in the bunk behind you.

"Hey," Frank said softly, his arm wrapping around your side.

"Hi," you answered, a smile forming on your face for the first time all day, not that he could see it.

"Feeling better?"

"A bit. Not 100% yet, but better than earlier."

"Mind if I nap with you?"

"Please do," you replied.

Frank drew the curtain shut and settled in behind you. He brushed aside your hair and placed a soft kiss on the side of your neck before giving you another quick squeeze.

You drifted back to sleep for a while, and when you woke up again, your headache was mostly gone you were relieved that you'd be able to play that night without feeling awful. As you stretched your legs out, Frank shifted, pulling you tighter against him.

"Better yet?" He murmured sleepily.

"Yea," you said, not moving more, afraid of disturbing the comfortable cocoon you two were in.

“So at lunch the guys were talking,” Frank started.

“‘Bout what?” You asked, rolling over.

“Us.”

“Oh?” Your heart rate going up.

“We went to this café for lunch and I got you a cupcake, it’s in the fridge by the way. And they were just wondering if there’s something going on between us.”

“What’d you say?”

“I just brushed it off, they were just giving me shit.”

“Oh,” you said, suddenly feeling a little dejected.

“Do you still wanna keep us a secret?” He asked.

“I dunno," you mumbled. "Do you?”

Frank intertwined his fingers with yours. "It's been kinda fun this way. But I also kinda wanna tell everyone I know that I'm the luckiest dude in the world BECAUSE I'm with you."

“Let's decide later,” you replied. “For right this moment, let’s just enjoy this.”

"Good idea," he replied with a soft smile before leaning in and kissing you lovingly.

[piedpiperslists]

Seokjin One Shots (I)

* s - contains smut

“Dolly Parton’s a real jerk, huh?” by @taetaespeaches wc~2.7k / friends to lovers, idol au Summary: So this is very loosely based on “You Belong With Me”. It mostly just uses the general idea of the song and the whole “Hey isn’t this easy,” line.

“You can’t take it back now” by @taetaespeaches wc~5.3k / friends to lovers, idol au Summary: Jin tries to confess to his best friend but those six hooligans keep accidentally interfering.

All Along [AO3] by @underthejoon s wc~13k / friends to lovers, arranged marriage Summary: It’s no surprise when you learn you’ll soon be engaged to one of the Kim brothers. What does come as a shock, is just how determined Seokjin is to make sure that person is him.

Half-Baked Holiday by @ddaenggtan s wc~12.6k / friends to lovers Summary: That Seokjin, don’t get me started on him. He’s worked hard to open and run that bakery of his, you know, and I’m so proud that it’s so successful now. Wish he would find a nice person to settle down with, though, he deserves it, as long as he’s been on his own. Well, I guess you can’t really call it alone when he’s got that grump of a best friend always hanging around him. He really should be paying her, what with all the time she spends at the bakery with him. She’s always waking up on the wrong side of the bed, but she’s not so bad when she brings me some of those cookies of his, or just around Seokjin in general, if I’m honest. Too distracted by staring at that pretty face of his, I suppose, though who can blame her?

The Trim by @whatifyoulivelikethat s wc~2k / established relationship, idol au Summary: As usual, Kim Seokjin can’t wait for a hairstylist to cut his hair. But instead of cutting it himself with kitchen scissors over the sink, he convinces you to do it.

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas: Milk & Christmas Coockies by @sugasbabiie s wc~2k / established relationship, PWP Summary: It’s the night of Christmas Eve and you’ve ran out of milk to go with Santa’s cookies. With all of the stores now closed, your husband comes up with a way to solve your milk problem. You thank him with an early little Christmas gift.

Aubade by @junghelioseok s wc~9.9k / strangers to lovers, one night stand au Summary: It was supposed to be one night—no more, no less. but when your city is hit with what newscasters are calling a once-in-a-lifetime storm and the blizzard of the century, you realize that mother nature isn’t going to let you leave that easily. and neither is Kim Seokjin.

Fall in Hatred by @jimlingss wc~20k / established relationship, divorce au Summary: You and Jin are over. When you’d rather stay with the spider that’s set up shop in the bathroom (and who’s become your new pet) than with your ‘husband’ in the living room, you know things aren’t good. But when your entire, overbearing family gathers at the summer house and you’re forced to drag him along, escaping from him isn’t so easy anymore. And maybe…just maybe…you’ll have a change of heart.

Cherry Topper by @kth1 s wc~17.6k / TA!Seokjin, friends to lovers Summary: Seokjin is a chaotically fun-loving guy who works long and hard hours at his successful, family owned candy store named Kim’s Sweet’s Shop, located on the corner of Cherry Lane. Being consistently busy with the labor of his work schedule and attending college to finish off his masters program, he has a very little social life and definitely does not have time for dating on this romantic, hectic holiday. But from right under his nose, one of his many admirers just so happens to be the sugar-coated treat that he’s been missing out on.

Start Anew by @gukyi wc~11k / exes au Summary: It’s been five years since you left your hometown, vowing never to return, but a simple invitation to a Christmas party and a yearning to know whether or not you’re truly over the heartbreak you left behind has you wondering if, maybe, the christmas spirit and promise of a new beginning can change your mind.

[give-baek-my-love]

Second Chances

Summary: “Tell me you want me. Tell me I’m not crazy for thinking that you want this too.” 

Pairing: chef!jin x waiter!oc

Word Count: 8.053k

Warnings: mentions of infidelity and sex, asshole ex boyfriend acting as a prick, fluffy with a sprinkle of angst because apparently whenever I write about Jin I always see him as such a fluffy and sweet boy

Note: I haven’t edited the text yet, but I wanted to post it as soon as possible! I will fix any errors in the next few days. ❤️

You had just graduated form culinary school when you met him. Kim Seokjin. You were the newbie in the noddle restaurant that he and his brother owned. While his brother mainly managed the finance part in the restaurant as well as the waiters and waitresses, Jin was in charge of creating new recipes and managed the kitchen staff members. As the newbie, you took the very bottom spot on the hierarchy of roles the staff members played. If the chefs needed a second hand, someone to cut more ingredients, you were the one to call. If the waiters needed an extra hand, you were the first one that they called. If the washrooms needed cleaning, but the cleaning staff were busy washing dishes, you were always the first to be called. The beginning was always chaotic and hectic, but you understood that everyone has to start somewhere in their career, and this was just your beginning.

He worked in the kitchen during most of the day shift, but worked in the front of the restaurant during during the night when there were most customers. He was a good talker. Very well mannered. Sometimes even made lame dad jokes when the restaurant wasn’t too busy. If you were being complexly honest, ever since the very first moment that you saw him walking out of the kitchen as you took your first steps into the restaurant as a new staff member, you were immediately attracted to him. You took every part of him in. His tall stature. His wide shoulders. His plumped lips. His beautiful, almost painfully beautiful face. You took it all in, amazed by how someone could look like that. Even though the two of you rarely talked, whenever he caught your gaze, which you did way too often to admit, you found your cheeks heating up from getting caught. He tend to have that kind fo effect on you. One minute you’re fine, but then the next, right when he looked at you, you were a goner. Your mind would go blank, and the blush on your cheeks would give away how you truly felt about him.

As oppose to you, he never paid much effort to you, or attempted to talk to you. You didn’t expect him to anyways, because you were still a new member at the restaurant, and which customers constantly coming in and out, there was rarely a time to talk to him, let alone for him to talk to you. The timing was just never right. Whenever you were called to help in the kitchen, he worked out front, and vice versa. However, whenever you had a mistake and anger a customer, which was quite often at the very beginning of your career, Jin or his brother would always be there to defend you. Jin’s brother defending you was a request that Jin himself made, although this would be something that you will never find out about.

Three months after you started working at the restaurant, you made a lot less of your previous mistakes and even became much closer to a lot of the staff, many of them joking around and treating you like you were their little sister. But even three months after your eyes first laid on his perfect face, he never spoke a single word to you directly besides a simple greeting during the morning, and a farewell when you left your shift at night. That is not until one hot summer afternoon, when your ex-boyfriend, James, came into the restaurant asking for a table for two. Beside him was a who had her arms linked in his, as the latter tapped his foot on the ground, waiting impatiently for an empty table. Luckily, you were called to help in the kitchen earlier, so you didn’t actually have to face him. It had been over four months since you last saw him with the exact same girl who was now clinging onto his arm beside him in bed at his apartment. 

You still remember that day very clearly. You had just gotten home from a long day of school, after six hours straight of lectures, you were dying to see your boyfriend of two years and hope that he could cheer you up. He had been distant lately, and you were worried that he thought you were neglecting him because of your busy schedule, but the moment that you saw him and the girl panting while they were in the midst of pleasuring each other, you were obviously wrong. He clearly didn’t care about how busy you were, because he was just as busy himself, but rather than with school, he was busy with someone else. 

You left that day, without him even realizing because you couldn’t find the courage in you to face him and talk about it. You simply broke up with him over text message, not caring if he had anything to say, because before he even had the chance to text back, or call, you had blocked him off of every social media account that you had and even blocked his phone number, so he would never be able to reach you. 

For the remaining weeks until your last year in school, you had sure to go to school early and leave to go home right after classes were over, so that you would never run into him. Even on graduation day, you lied to your parents and said that you weren’t feeling well so that you couldn’t have to attend and face him. He was also part of the reason why you decided to move away from your hometown and moved to another city even trying your phone number, just so that you would never have to see him again because being betrayed is the worst feeling that you had ever felt and you never wanted to be confronted by the boy who had taught you what betrayal feels like.

However, luck wasn’t on your side that day. Even if you ran off and moved to another city, your past still came to haunt you. What made things even more complicated was you were asked to helped out front at the restaurant because there were a lot of customers and not enough staff to tend to them. What made things worse was that you were specifically told to escort James and the girl to their table. Fuck. As much as it bothered you, you still had to do your job, so you gave your best smile and greeted them, to which at first when James caught your eyes, he looked stunned but soon he looked amused and smirked at you.

“Hello Y/N. Long time no see.” He snickered as you gestured them to their designated table.

“Hi.” You shortly greeted, trying your best not to snarl at him. To control your emotions, you shifted your attention towards the girl, who although you despised for the role that she played in your break up, James was the one to blame.

You left the two with menus gave them two cold cups of water before turning around to give them some time to look over the menu. But before you could leave, James called out and said that he wanted a hot cup of tea instead. Asshole. You knew that he never drank hot beverages, and how much he despised drinking tea, so clearly he was just messing with you, but even so, you remained composed and went back into the kitchen to pour a cup of hot tea. While you were busy with your own thoughts, Jin, who was in the kitchen tasting the soup base watched you carefully. He noticed how upset you seemed. How your eyebrows furrowed like as if something was bothering you. You looked stiff. Something was clearly upsetting you, but he didn’t know if it was appropriate to ask you, since he didn’t hear anything about a customer’s complaint. As you walked out of the kitchen with the hot cup of tea, he followed quietly behind you and stayed by the doorframe leading to the kitchen, and watched at you approached a seated couple with the hot beverage.

Jin watched as you stood by the couple, observing the male drink the tea, before his face turned into disgust and said that he changed his mind and wanted a cup of cold water instead.

“Of course.” You said, still trying to stay as unfazed as possible.

As you walked towards the kitchen, you noticed that Jin stood by the doorframe by the front of the kitchen. He had his arms crossed on his chest, while he stared at you with a frown on his face. For a second, you granted yourself the time to wonder why he was looking at you with such displease on his face, but you quickly reminded yourself that you had a job to do, and worried that spending too much time getting James’ drink would only bother him more allowing him to cause more of a ruckus. So you walked around him and poured a new glass of cold water, before heading back to James’ table with the drink. Never once did Jin take his eyes off you, not even when you headed back to the couple’s table.

James sipped his drink, and finally seemed satisfied as the girl in front of him watched you and your ex-boyfriend exchange glances. You were about to ask them if they were ready to order when James beat you and said,

“So you left me, didn’t come to graduation and even moved to another city just to become a minimum waged waitress?”

Embarrassed. That’s exactly how you felt. You bowed your head, unable to say anything. You wanted to walk away and ask another staff to take care of James’ table, but you were too embarrassed to look around and see how many people were looking at you.

When you don’t say anything, James continues with his mockery and snickered,

“She went to culinary school and was even the most one in the class, and look where she is. A waitress in a small restaurant.”

Fuck you. Oh how you wanted to slap the smirk on his face and give him a piece of your own mind, but you knew better than to cause a scene.

“I’ll go get you a new waiter, I think that will make us all more comfortable.” You said, staring directly into James’ eyes and smiled, making sure that he knew that no matter what he said, you would never act as low as he’s doing right now. You took James’ shrug as an agreement and turned around to wave a staff member over, but before you could, Jin was walking towards you with a frown on his face.

“I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask you and your guest to leave.” Jin said gestured towards James as he was speaking.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re clearly causing a scene and you’re making it very uncomfortable for our other customers. Like you said, we are simply a small restaurant who are hoping to give our customers the best restaurant experience, but unfortunately the scene that you are causing is making not only the customer around you, but also our beloved staff members, who have been very accommodating to your needs very uncomfortable. So I kindly ask that you and your guest leave now. Or I will call for the police if that becomes necessary.”

All eyes were now on Jin. Not only was his appearance enough to make others admire him, but seeing how civilized and calm in this situation for sure made me at least ten times more attractive than he already was. Or at least that how you felt in your case. If you were to react in this situation, you would have to hold yourself back from screaming at James, telling him how you knew about his cheating.

James was about to refuse and claim that customers are alright ‘right’ and how everyone had a right to freedom of speech, but when he noticed how all the customers around him were glaring at him, he knew it would be impossible to continue this meal without someone cussing out and glaring at him.

Without much of another word, James quickly walked out of the restaurant while the girl hurried and tried to catch up to him.

“Let’s go talk.” He said to you and he lead you to follow him into the kitchen before heading outside.

Once the two of you headed outside from the back of the kitchen, you took a seat at a bench next to the door, while Jin leaned against the doorframe with his hands in his back pockets.

This would have been the first time since the three months you’ve started working at the restaurant that the two of you were left alone and conversing with each other about something other than work related. Unlike most times when you are around him, you are much less nervous around him this time, rather you were embarrassed that he saw and heard the whole commotion. It was one thing to talk to your ex boyfriend, but it was a totally different and most more conflicting of a situation to have the commotion happen in front of someone that you had a crush on. It was a simple crush, but nonetheless, it was mortifying embarrassing.

“Are you okay?” He asked as you started retreating back to the kitchen where the other staff members were taking turns asking if you were okay. Some customers were doing the same as well.

You nodded and thanked him for helping you out.

“You really didn’t need to.”

“Even if I didn’t know you, I would have stood up for you. I would have stood up for anyone in that situation. No one should be treated like that.”

You laughed slightly, not because you found it funny, but because you felt nervous, vulnerable, to talk about James to Jin.

“He was very nice and sweet in the beginning. He did anything for me then to make me happy…”

The two of you then fell into an awkward silence. You wondered if he stopped talking because you had burdened him with too much of your past. You picked anxiously at your fingers, debating on wether you should think of what to say next, or just excuse yourself and head back to work. But before you could make up your mind, Jin sat down next to you on the bench and turned attentively towards you, meeting your stare.

“Never give excuses to cheaters.”

There was a sort of bitterness in his voice, but as you looked at him, he remained calm. Seemingly unbothered. You wondered if perhaps you had heard wrong.

“Never take anyone’s negative comments to heart Y/N, especially if they don’t truly know you.”

Smiling at him, you thanked him for his advice and walked back into the restaurant, not noticing how Jin’s gaze lingered on you as you walked away.

From that day on, something between the two of you changed. You noticed how he started to talk to you more. You greeted him more often with a more friendly tone to which he would also reciprocate, and you started catching his gaze on you more and more often, but whenever you met his gaze, you were amused to see him fumble a little and shift his gaze elsewhere before walking away. Sometimes he would even ask you to go to the kitchen and try his new recipe. For two months all the staff members, even his friends when they came by for a meal, sometimes even his parents who came to visit and help out in the restaurant watched the two fo you dance nervously around each other, exchanging shy smiles and hesitating to talk to the other person.

-

“You should ask him on a date.” Suzy, a staff member that you were growing close to giggled, when she witnessed the stare that you and Jin shared just seconds ago, lingering on each other, as he entered the restaurant with groceries and headed into the kitchen.

“I’ve never actually asked someone out before...” You fumbled with the cloth and cup in your hand. Suzy and you were in charge of drying the washed dishes during the afternoon break when Jin walked in.

“So? Try it out. I doubt he’ll say no. We’ve all seen how he looks at you. Please don’t torturing each other and just ask him out. Please save us all from the agony of watching the two of you dance around each other.” She laughed.

You hesitantly agreed, but still said yes nonetheless. You had to agree that two months of hesitating around each other was more than enough. If he didn’t have any interest in you then he would have either changed how he was acting around you, or he would tell you if you were making him uncomfortable.

You nervously waited until Jin was done unloading all the groceries from the truck and walked into the kitchen where all the other chefs were out of sight, noting that this was the perfect time to talk to him. While Jin crouched down in front of the opened refrigerator to put some of the food in it, you stood by him and greeted him.

“Oh hey” He smiled the moment he saw you.

“Are you busy tomorrow night?” You asked, nervously placing putting your hands together behind your back so that he would notice that you were nervously picking on your fingers.

He noticed how you couldn’t look at his face, and instantly knew that you were trying to ask him on some sort of date, or at least that was what you were hoping for. The thought instantly felt the corners of his mouth go up, but he had to bite his lips to stop himself from smiling like an idiot.

“No why?” He asked as he got up and closed the refrigerator, thinking that he could wait a little longer before he finished unloading the groceries into the fridge.

“I… Um… It’s nothing really. I was just wondering if you wanted to… Um. Go on a sort of coffee date with me, and then maybe if you want, I can take you to one of my favourite parks in the city that oversees a river. It looks really pretty during the night time. I mean you don’t have to, and if you don’t want to I get -“

“No. Let’s do it. Tomorrow night.” He chuckled.

Shocked. Would have been an understatement. You were amazed by how willing he sounded, relieved even. But that might have just been your own wishful thinking.

That night, you tossed and turned tirelessly in bed as your heart pounded, anticipating what is to come for tomorrow’s date.

-

One the day of the day, right before the morning shift ended after lunch hours, a girl, very pretty you must admit, came into the restaurant and when you were about to escort her to an empty table, she asked to talk to the head chef, specifically, she asked for Jin. You turned to the other staff members, hoping to find Jin’s brother, but he was no where to be seen and none of the other staff seemed to know what to do.

Before agreeing, you asked her why she wanted to see Jin, and her answer was simple and seemed appropriate. She said that she was an old friend of Jin who just got back in town and wanted to see an old friend. So you agreed and walked into the kitchen to see Jin and another chef discussing something about changing up an item on the menu. When he saw you walk in, he greeted you with a wide smile to which you reciprocated before telling him that there was someone out front that wanted to talk to him.

He walked out he stopped immediately when he saw the mysterious girl standing by the front door giving him a wave and a little giggle. He stopped so suddenly that you bumped right into his back, and embarrassingly apologized. When he didn’t move, you moved towards his side and just like the other staff members, watched as he froze and kept staring at the girl, never reciprocating her smile. It didn’t make any sense. Why was he so stunned? Because she was pretty?

When he seemed like he finally came to his senses, he turned specifically to you, and said that he was going to go out but will be back within ten minutes, and if he didn’t show up by then, you were asked to call him. You agreed of course, but you wondered why he had the set to set out only ten minutes to talk to her, as if staying any longer with her would be a mistake or become an issue. Without another word, he left the restaurant with the girl following behind him after thanking you for helping. Something in you left a sick feeling, as if you shouldn’t have told him to come out in the first place.

During the ten minutes that Jin was gone, you fumbled a bit with orders because you were distracted, something that you haven’t done in a while, but when he didn’t show up after ten minutes, you waited another minute, than another, until five whole minutes had passed. You finally picked up your cell phone and called him.

The phone rung a new times because he quietly answered and said that he will be on his way. When be came back alone however, he didn’t pay anyone any attention, not even you, he just had his head down the whole way from the front door and into the kitchen. Everyone stared at his brother, who looked nervously at his younger sibling, an expression that he had on his face that moment that he came back to the restaurant and found out that his brother had left with a girl. His brother looked like he knew something about this mysterious girl, but you didn’t dare ask him about it, it seemed too personal.

When it came timer or the midday break, the restaurant was closed off for three hours, this was usually the time for everyone to prep for the dinner round or for the staff to take break. You usually spent this break either taking a nap or riding a book. Today however, during break time Jin finally came out of the kitchen and asked to talk to you privately, to which the other staff members teased and snickered, but something in you told you that the look on his face meant something bad was about to happen.

Jin walked out of the restaurant from the front door to an empty bench near the restaurant, but far from the eyes of the other staff.

“I’m sorry I have to cancel our date tonight.” He quietly said as he stared down at his hands unable to look at you. You weren’t surprise to be honest, especially after the look on his face when he came back. But still you pushed for an answer as to why he wanted to cancel. He simply said that he wasn’t feeling well and needed to go home right after work. You knew that it wasn’t the truth, but this time you didn’t press further, just in case his real answer would hurt more.

“Let’s do another day.” He said more cheerfully this time, hoping that he sounded more like himself, but you saw right through his act.

“Right.” You curtly said, before you got up and walked back into he restaurant without looking back to see if he was following you, and you especially did not see how hurt he looked when you walked away, looking so cold at him for the first time sense he’s met you.

That night you went home and your mind wandered to the endless reasons as to why he cancelled last minute. Was he never interested in you in the first place? Did he simply say yes just so you wouldn’t feel rejected? Did it say yes to ease himself to not feel as bad because he at least accepted your offer? Did any of this have to do with his meeting with that girl?

That next day at work, Jin didn’t show up for the morning shift, after which you expected that he wouldn’t show up for the rest of the day. But to your surprise, and to the others, even his brother, Jin showed up for work again during the midday break, but this time he showed up with the same girl from yesterday, this time when her arms happily linked in his.

It all made sense now, Jin cancelled the date to meet this girl and it probably had something to do with what they talked about yesterday. I can’t believe that I literally gave him away. She took a seat at an empty table and carelessly flipped through the men which one of her elbows brought up to the table to support her hand. Although you hated doing it, you silently scanned over her body from head to toe and started comparing yourself to her. She had longer black hair than you that flowed freely down her shoulders while your hair was tightly tied back to prevent it from getting in the way at work. She had very natural and light makeup on her face, every touch of makeup on her face did nothing but compliment her natural features. Her long legs caught your eyes. They were long, lean and looked perfect in the miniskirt that she was wearing. You bowed your head, staring at your feed, hating how less confident you the more you ok in her appearance.

“Don’t do that.” You heard him before you saw him.

Jin was standing behind you, so close that you could now smell the faint scent of his cologne. You were standing by the doorframe in the kitchen and since he was behind you, not one from outside the kitchen could see him. To everyone else, you were just leaving by the doorframe while the other staff were either pretending to work while staring at her, who seemed completely oblivious of all the attention she was getting, or. The others were actually working not giving her a second glance.

“Do what?” You asked as you continued to observe her from afar.

He told you not to do anything that would make you upset. It made you angry how he wounded like he actually gave a shit about you. You turned to stare at him with his eyebrows furrowed as he looked into your eyes, almost as if he was trying to interpret how the look that you were giving to him. But you didn’t give in. Hurt. Was what you felt, but you made sure to hide it from him. Emotionless. Was what you hoping he saw. You didn’t say anything, you simply held your eyes on him. You were afraid that if you said anything, you would only hurt more or slowly allow him to see exactly how much pain you felt, for a man that you never even got to go on one date with, ridiculously enough. You were angry that he chose her over you. Upset that you clearly all the stolen glances and smiles that you too shared meant absolutely nothing to him, when it meant the world to you. You were annoyed that he was doing the exact same thing that your James did, expected he wasn’t even dating you, but it already hurt more than the first time.

You were the first to turn away, but before walking too far away from him, he pulled your arm and dragged you into the storage room.

“What’s wrong?”

You didn’t answer. Your eyes never met his gaze.

“Are you mad at me for cancelling our date yesterday?” He asked.

You shook your head as an answer, but gave no effort to expand on your answer. Although you stayed still, he knew you were anything besides okay. So he let go of your. hand and let you go, which you gladly accepted and walked out of the kitchen to join the other staff. Jin thought that if he gave a you time he could ask you again and maybe then you’d be more willing to talk. However, for the rest of the night, you did your best to distance yourself from him. The girl stayed for the rest of night shift, barely ordering more than a drink after every other hour, typing way on her laptop. When everyone saw that Jin’s brother didn’t bother approaching her and telling her to leave, none of the staff dared to do anything else other than take her order and refilled her water when it was getting empty. You however didn’t dare serve her, scared that if you saw her up close, you would start comparing yourself again. Throughout the shift you observed how Jin seemed to busy himself throughout the day, because he never once went up to her and talked to her.

Whenever he talked into the kitchen, you hurried into the front pretending that you needed to talk to a staff or when he walked out to the front, you would walk into the storage room pretending that you needed to get something. This was literally his restaurant and you would never be able to get away from him forever. Maybe today, but certainly one day you would have to talk to him. You knew that if you were going to avoid him the best option was to actually stay as at from the restaurant as possible. You need a break. That’s it.

When the restaurant closed, and everyone was tidying up for the night while she sat still in her seat with her eyes following Jin where ever he went. You pulled Jin’s brother aside and told him that you wanted to take a vacation leave. He agreed, and of course he knew why you wanted to go.

“How long do you need?”

Considering that it was Wednesday, you told him that you wanted at least the reaming of the week okay, which I left four days including the weekend.

“I may need longer. I understands that this is very sudden, and if you feel uncomfortable you can.. fire me.”

He laughed it off and said,

“I wouldn’t dare do such a thing.”

He sounded as if he would be in big trouble if he fired you, but you shoved that though aside thinking that you’re probably thinking too much.

But before he walked away, he said that the girl at the restaurant is nothing more than an ex-girlfriend of Jin’s who is begging o have his brother take her back.

Ex girlfriend.

His brother then stumbled, embarrassed that he had just spilt the secret that Jin begged him to keep quiet. It finally all made sense why he was so out of it when he saw the girl, and why he had to cancel the date. Clearly it wasn’t one sided if he cancelled the date on you and even brought her to work. To you, it seemed more like Jin’s brother was the one who misinterpreted the situation.

After everything was cleared up, you quickly excused yourself out the door before any of the other staffs left. It was your mission to leave without him knowing, which proved to be a lot easier when she approached him and pulled him into the kitchen to ‘talk.’ With your back towards him, you would never know that even while his ex girlfriend was pulling him away, his eyes never left yours. He knew by the end of the day that he had fucked up when you wouldn’t even be in the same room as him, let alone look at him. Jin knew that he need to fix this misunderstanding between the two fo you, but he needed to first clear the air with his ex girlfriend. Now.

That night he called you. Far too many times for you to count as you packed one big duffel bad with enough clothes that would last you much longer than 4 days, just in case you wanted to go away longer. You knew exactly where you were going. You ever going to take the train to and head back to your grandma’s house, the place where you found comfort whenever out were upset. Growing up your parents were always busy with work, especially sine they usually had to travel a lot for their jobs, so your grandma was your main caregiver growing up.

You arrived at your grandma’s house during the early hours of the morning, but it was perfect because this was exactly around the time that your grandma woke up and went to water the plants in her garden. Although she heard your voice and knew that something was wrong, the moment she saw you, she saw how much more upset you were in reality to what she imagined. You felt silly, but tears welled up in your eyes as you ran into her arms and let her fold you into a hug. When you finally calmed down she’s asked what happened and you told her everything, from seeing James again to seeing Jin’s ex girlfriend. Never eating a small detail out.

“It sounds like you’re very fond of this new guy.”

Which you were. Of course. But when you saw Jin and her, you did what you knew best when things got hard. You ran away. Running away was always easy. You didn’t have to actually face your problem. Because what problem is there if you can’t actually see it?

-

For the next four days you spent most of it with your grandma, accompanying her as she went to the supermarket, helped her when she was gardening, helped her clean around the house, even learned how to cook a few of your favourite childhood dishes. You made sure to keep yourself busy so that your mind wouldn’t drift and think about Jin.

However, on the fourth night when you and your grandma were sitting peacefully in the front yard, you on the grass while your grandma was seated in a wooden lawn chair, you saw Jin walk towards the house. Panic. Was what you felt when he came closer and closer to you. You didn’t know how he knew to look for you at your grandma’s house, perhaps from Suzy because you told her so she couldn’t have to worry about you, but this time you had no where to run off to.

Your grandma watched as you and Jin exchanging glances, but neither on spoke up. She then cleared her throat and excused herself and headed back into the house, claiming that she was tired, but it was only 8 at night. He took a seat next to you on the grass and your anxiously started plucking on the grass in front of your making sure to never look up.

“Why did you leave without telling me?” He asked as he stared at you hoping that you would meet his eyes, but you didn’t budge.

“It’s really none of your business why I went on vacation. Bosses don’t ask that kind of stuff.” You answered, still keeping your eyes on the grass near your feet.

“You’re running away from me.” He said, more as a statement rather than a question. Because well, it was most definitely true.

“Where’re your ex girlfriend? Or should I say girlfriend?” You changed the subject.

He visibly stiffened at your question, wondered how you knew. He stumbled on his own words, not knowing what to say next, but you weren’t going to help him.

Seconds passed, or even minutes who knows as your heart pounded into your chest waiting for an answer while your hands worked tirelessly on pulling the grass in front of you. Without a doubt, your grandma was going to be mad tomorrow if she saw the aftermath of what you had done to the grass.

Finally he spoke up.

“I wanted you since the day you walked into the restaurant asking if we were still hiring. Although I was in the kitchen, I saw you. Y/N. I had just one glance of you and I knew that I wanted you. I wanted you even when you fumbled and screwed up on customers’ orders. I wanted you even when I watched you fall asleep with your mouth gauged open during break time. I wanted you even when I angrily watched you just stand there in front of your ex boyfriend as he taunted you in front of everyone. I wanted nothing more than to protect you. To defend you. To tell him to fuck off. To stop you from feeling pain. So I did. And when we started talking and starting to get to know each other, I knew then that you wanted me too. I was about to ask you on a date when you asked he first. It isn’t often that a girl asks me out before I get the chance, but you did. And that only made me want you even more. But then Jessica showed up. She was the only person that I had ever truly loved and she broke me. She let me for someone who she claimed to be better for her. And when she came back, I couldn’t think straight. I didn’t want her but I needed to know why she would come back after all these years… She told me that she was getting a divorce and she looked to me for comfort. There wasn’t a single part of me that wanted her. I simply talked to her as a friend, as someone who once knew her… I though that it I talked to her sooner rather than later I would be able to have her stop coming to look for me.”

You sat solvency with her knees now bent into your chest and your arms wrapped around yourself, rocking back and forth listening and he continued talking. You didn’t know what to do with yourself or how to act now that he said he wanted you all along.

“I saw the way you looked at her. I saw you stare at her linked arms with mine. She was always touchy so I didn’t realize how it looked like to other people who didn’t know her. But then I saw you watching her and analyzing her every movement. I knew what you were doing even if I was just standing behind you. I knew that you were comparing yourself to her. You only see your flaws and see your different from her as flaw in your character, as if Jessica is the definition of perfection or what you need to look like to be loved. But you never read lied that all this time I only had eyes for you. I wanted to tell you everything. Explain everything to you that night but you were avoiding me the whole time. And you left before I could even get a chance to talk to you. It took me four damn days to find where you went. I have to beg Suzy to tell me.”

The two fo you sat in silence as you continued to rock sickly with your arms wrapped around your body while feeling him stare at you, but you looked straight ahead instead. Neither of you saying saying a word as time flew by. This time he couldn’t take your silence as an answer.

Jin moved himself to face you so that he could hold your gaze.

“Tell me you want me. Tell me I’m not crazy for thinking that you want this too.”

You contemplated on telling him the truth. You wondered if that was the best thing to do, but everything he said just left you feeling overwhelmed. At the end of the day he wanted you. He had wanted you since the very first day, just like how you had wanted him. Although the feeling was mutual, it didn’t mean that he didn’t hurt you. He could have simply tike it what had happened but instead he kept everything to himself. Throughout your dating experience, you had learnt how important communication is in a relationship, and you worried that is he couldn’t communicate this one time over which a superficial issue, who is to say that he wouldn’t do the same when things get hard, or even worse next time?

“Go home Jin.” You said as you started to unfurl the arms that you wrapped around your body.

He called out for your name, but you were already getting up. He tried to reach for your arm but you swung away from his grip. You needed the night to think, and you were worried that if he tried to talk to you now that you would give in to anything that he said. You needed time to think this through. According to your friends, and to your own admit, you were notorious to getting into relationships too fast without getting to know the personal well. You wanted to give Jin time to think too and see if he really did mean that he wanted a relationship with you.

He called out for you again, but he never pulled you to stop this time because he knew that forcing you to talk to him will only make things worse.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Was the last thing that he said before he left out into the dark night, away from your eyesight when you turned around.

That night you were restless once again. The conversation played over and over again as you digested every single word that he had said. You finally came to the conclusion that the feeling was indeed mutual, and he knew what he did was wrong. He told you his true feelings and now you felt like it was your time to make a move.

By the time the sun rose up, you had made up your mind and texted Jin’s bother that you were going to be at work today, before checking to see the next boarding schedule for the train back home. Before leaving, you wrote a note to your grandma to tell her where you were going and promised that you would come back and visit her soon.

During the whole ride back home you felt butterflies fluttering from within as you anticipated what is to come once you go back to work. Without a doubt you knew that you would have Jin again, talk things through and decide what is to come for the two of you.

It seemed like forever until you finally for home and dropped off your luggage. It was already too late to go for the morning shirt, so you decided to wash up and eat a little bit before you head to the restaurant during break time.

Your heard pounded as you walked into the restaurant, all eyes were on you, but there was only one pair that you cared for. Jin was walking out of the kitchen when he saw you, but he wasn’t stunned like the others, as if he knew you would come back one day, instead he looked relieved that you came back sooner rather than later.

After greeting the staff, you handed them some souvenirs that you brought from your grandma’s hometown. As everyone else gather around your gifts, each claiming what they wanted, you walked up to Jin and asked if he had time to talk to you now, to which he gladly agreed to and led you into the kitchen and into the storage room.

With your back against one of the shelves that was filled with table clothes for the restaurant, he stared into your eyes waiting for you to speak up while you struggled to bring your eyes on him. Speaking about your feelings was never an easy task for you to do, but you knew you had to.

Jin reached out for one of your hand, urging you to speak up, to save him from his own anxious thoughts. He couldn’t hep but imagine the worst possible scenario. Maybe you didn’t like him. Maybe you only wanted to be friend. Maybe you were still so hurt that you didn’t want to be with him. Either way, he knew that he would wait until you were ready to date him no matter how long it would take.

Your voice started off quiet and shy,

“I didn’t think much when I applied for the job here. I loved cooking so much that i went to school for it. I also loved the good here, so when I saw that the restaurant was hiring, i jumped to the chance to take part in working here and learning how the food served here is made. When i applied it was your brother who interviewed me, so I never knew of your existence, not until on my first day when I saw you walking out of the kitchen.”

Jin smiled at that memory himself.

“I didn’t know that you actually co-owned the restaurant with your brother until one of the staff members told me. It was stupid of me to think way, but when I first saw you and even if I didn’t know you, I wanted you. I wanted to get to know you. But I would have never imagined that you want me too…”

You smiled, remember his confession from last night. As if it was cue for him to respond, his smile widened and he stepped closer to you, cupping the side of one of your cheeks with his hand as your eyes fluttered shut. You leaned into his touch while your heart beat way too fast for it to be safe.

“I fucked up. I know. I should have told you and explained what happened but I hesitated. I wanted to settle the situation with Jessica before I told you.” He said, as his soft gaze stared into your eyes.

You brought a hand to hold the one he had on your cheek. He blushed at the gesture. The way you were looking at him made him fee so warm and happy. Something he had never felt in any of his past relationships.

“Communication is really important to me. I need us to be able to talk about our problems. I don’t want you to hide anything from me, just like how I won’t hide anything from you. If we’re going to work… we have to be able to talk about anything.”

He nodded.

“Okay. I can do that. I can do it all for you.”

Your smile stretched, to the point that your cheeks were started to hurt. It’s been way too long since you’ve been this happy. His eyes started to shift from your eyes to your lips and then back to your eyes. You then followed and did the same thing. Although no words were said, he stared at you, asked silently for permission to which you gladly tilted your head up for his lips to meet yours.

Sweet. Gentle. Were the only two words that you could use to describe the kiss. He brought his other hand, so now both of his hands were delicately holding your face, while your hands held onto his biceps preventing your wobbling knees from giving in. The kiss sealed a promise. A promise that no matter what came in the way between the two fo you, you two will do whatever it takes to stay together.

-

Sometimes second chances aren’t given even to the most deserving people. Sometimes second chances are given to those who are not worthy of them. Sometimes even after a second chance, people will fuck up. But not Jin. Jin accepted his second chance without ever taking it for granted. For him, you were worth it all, and he will never take his second chance for granted.

[awrldalone]

19th April 2022, 2.22pm

Mrs Dalloway, I relate to her somewhat. These past few days have been mountains, heights and depths of existence – euphoria, purple lights, anger, lampposts, loneliness, shut blinds. London is chaotic, much more than Paris, or Rome, or Milan, or any other city I remember visiting. The people, they are a lot, frenetic, hectic, on the go, quick. The tube, constantly busy. The air, sickly.

Wednesday - When I arrived, I felt an overwhelming loneliness come over me. It was my first time going on holiday alone, the first time taking a plane to a foreign country alone (this summer I took a plane alone, but it was to return to Italy, so it does not count, because somebody was waiting for me on the other side) the first time living in a house alone, the first time being able to follow my own rhythm. Dependent on no one and no one depending on me. 

I visited the national gallery, losing myself in the paintings, recognizing a few, and texting M. I sent him a picture of a painting by Cézanne, joking that it was a picture of his back yard, since it was an impressionist rendition of the Aixian countryside, but he did not get it and I had to explain it to him. Every time something like that happens, I worry he will disappear, I worry he will lose interest in me. It happens frequently: I say something, it does not go through as it should, I am overtaken by the fear he will leave. I try not to take over me. 

I walked through chinatown, stepped into dusty record stores - carrie & lowell, mbv are in my suitcase, hopefully they will be intact once I get home. Dinner was lonely, a premed vegetables soup heated over flame. I went out, but the lights of the city mad eye feel lonelier. I passed through a few gay bars, and the eyes of the men flowed over me like dirty water. I sent M. a text when I got home.

Thursday, I met N. We have known each other for almost three years, he was worried I would find him ugly, when in fact I just found him tall. 

He did not feel real - I did not feel real.

I will never be ready for the slight disconnect between physicality and the metaphysic nature of the internet. Of course his image, his voice, his manners were all registered in my brain, but to see them all translate in 3D in front of me left me speechless. I was so happy that words came back immediately, and it was as if we were texting each other, a constant back and forth on the tube. 

We visited Tate modern, like he said he wanted. I would have visited anyway, but it was more fun with him, despite the fact he is all but a museum person. Elated to have seen more Gerhard Richter. Then, we got food at this sushi place he likes. It made me smile that he feels comfortable eating with me, and we both had curry - me with rice, him with noodles - and some sushi, sitting on a park bench. 

Then, I wished I could have jumped into the Themes and drowned. His boyfriend did everything to ruin things. He makes me so angry that I will omit all the details, because I might just type so hard I will break my laptop and make this plane fall down if I start telling about that fucking asshole. He was lucky I did not meet him, because had I seen him in front of me, somebody would have had to call 999 to carry him to an hospital - and I would have been carried to jail. I am not a particularly violent person, but he deserves it.

He ruined our afternoon, he ruined our night; N. even had to go see him, twice, to make sure he was okay. I do not want to think about it because every time I do, a voice in my head underlines of shitty N. has been too; how shitty he still is, all for a guy who treats him like shit. My friends tell me to drop him, but I find excuses for him. I know he only wants to stay with that boy because he is afraid nobody else will ever love him. I know he likes being desired, because I like it too, but I wish he opened his eyes a little more.

Friday, that guy ruined our morning. We were supposed to bake a cake, the day before we had bought strawberries and milk and double cream and flour and sugar and vanilla and butter and eggs. I carried all the groceries, like I carried our friendship for those two days. 

N. went to meet his boyfriend, and so I wandered around the area, looking at the blooming flowers and the rich buildings, thinking what a beautiful day, the honeybees are out at work and the cars passing by are inviting me to cross the road. I bought a few books, in a completely empty book store, and between the pages I felt peaceful. I texted N., asking him how things were going, whether they were fighting or whether they were making up, and he said that they were about to take a break. I was happy, more for him than for me; they ended up fixing things. They break up and get back together, again and again, and somehow I am in the middle of it, and hated and treated like I am disgusting, vile. 

I bought some wine, some bread, some ham, blueberries, planning to have a picnic. I like picnics because I like having something to do: organizing, buying the food, washing the vegetables, laying down a blanket, popping the bottles, surprising others with the effort.

We baked the cake while listening to Arca. It turned out great. 

K., a friend of N.'s from London, came to my apartment, and we all went to Hyde Park. The cake was delicious, the strawberries even more, and it was all going well until N. had to go earlier.

We were supposed to spend all the afternoon together, because his train was at 8pm, but his boyfriend called N.'s mother in tears, telling her that he was alone, and scared, and N.'s mother told N. to get back home earlier, to take the train with his boyfriend.

At two, I was alone next to the gates of Hyde Park. We would have gone to V&A had he stayed, so I decided to quickly pass through my airbnb and leave the stuff there to then go tot he museum, but once the door shut itself behind me everything durned dark. The kitchen lights did not help me see better as I cried, sitting on the couch I had slept on. I cried, and I stared at the orange sofa. I cried, and I cursed myself for having nothing to harm myself with. I cried, and then I dried my tears, and it was five, and I felt like I had wasted the day, and ruined my own holiday. 

I scrubbed my hands in the sink, ignoring the piled up dishes and the smell of sugar. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, passed the razor on my skin, cleaning the shaving cream; I combed my hair, to feel clean again. 

I went to covent garden, looked at the brightly lit windows, bought some used clothes, but it all felt empty. I got home again, and I called M. on the phone. His voice makes me feel safe, he distracts me, he makes me blush. He saved the day, in a way, because washing myself physically was not enough to start the day over.

After dinner (this time, shitty scrambled eggs from the cake leftover ingredients) I went out and met a boy. I do not remember his name, but we now follow each other on instagram. We got drinks, which I needed desperately, and chatted, and I acted as if that day had never happened. We went to his house, where nothing happened. It was a nice apartment in Notting Hill, tastefully furnished, and I thought that I would not mind living there. I also thought that I did not want to spend the night with that guy, because I kept thinking about M.

At home, I sent him a text, telling him I was safe. He was fast asleep.

Saturday, I discovered that my rhythms are irregular, wild, a cacophonic disharmony. From six to nine, I stayed in bed, naked because duvets are too hot, feeling sick. At ten, I was in Portobello, where I had been the night before, and at around one I was in Victoria station, to meet a friend from Twitter: Re. 

He's in his mid twenties. We walked around, got a smoothie, walked around, got the tube to V&A, visited half of the museum and the cool temporary fashion exhibition on menswear (oh how I wish I could own that Jean Paul Gaultier trompe l'oeil suit; and that soft pink Wales Bonner ensemble too). 

At five, we still had not eaten, and I did not feel like putting any food in my body. Re. has problems with food too, which paints a grim picture given his age. Will I still struggle too? I told him I was hungry, and I was but I wanted to suppress it, and I told him we should go eat something. So we did. 

He got a proper meal at a Lebanese restaurant, I got some hummus and a daiquiri. I enjoyed hanging out with him, exploring parts of London neither of us had ever seen. We even walked past an apartment where Lady D had lived. At nine I was home. I fell asleep full dressed as soon as I laid down.

I woke up at five a.m. on Sunday. Easter. I felt dirty, disgusting, sick. Christian holidays have come to mean nothing to me, but it was the first time I was not touched by them. I drank some water, threw my pullover and jeans on the floor and looked outside of the window. I did some push ups, the stupid abs workout I always do, some push ups again, and at nine I had the day planned out in my head. 

Sunday flower market. I bought pink tulips, and told M. they were for him. His favorite flowers are daisies, but they did not have them. 

I felt relieved, that morning, walking through the empty streets. Everybody must have been sleeping, or cooking, or at mass. I had never seen London that empty. I drank a matcha with a shot of espresso (best drink in the world) in silence, while walking and listening to music. 

I went to barbican, flowers in my hand, and I read Swimming in the Dark by Tomasz Jedrowski. It was peaceful there. Nothing happened, the book stole all of my attention, the sun kissed me sweetly, the flowers were of company. 

Passed through home quickly, to put the flowers in the water, I went to the British Museum and stayed there until I was forced to leave because of closing hour. That's where all the people were, I thought, surprised by the masses. I have been spoiled by the emptiness of museums this summer, so much so that I was taken aback by the sheer amount of people there. 

I visited half of the museum, specifically taking my time for the Greeks. The vases caught my attention. Listening to my bloody valentine's loveless, I looked at the pots, the wine-mixing vessels, the water-carrying cups, and their black and red illustrations. I could recognize what was happening in some of them. Thetis's marriage, for example. [Had to stop writing because the plane was landing – continuing at 6.55pm] I could read some of the names, the characters were clear enough for me to recognize the letters, not like the Rosetta stone. And then, after leaving, I got a coffee and I walked and walked and walked until I could not feel my feet. 

The tube was closed in certain parts, so at one point I had to get out and walk through Kensington; I stopped to get groceries, because I felt like I was about to faint and my fridge was empty. 

I called M. that night, and we talked for four hours. He stayed up until two in the morning to talk to me, and the realization carried me to sleep, comporting and warm. The cool duvet on my naked skin made me think of him, I wonder how it would feel to have him next to me. 

Monday morning, I got a lazy start to the day, but at ten I was walking around. I went into Daunt books, purchased a few novels and one non-fiction book called Please Miss by Grace Lavery. Then I visited the museum of design, then I visited Saatchi art (loved the exposition on botanical drawings - still mind blown by the act they were all pencil or watercolor), and finally I went to a record store, where I bought V. a present. The 16th was her birthday, and this weekend I am going to her party. I wanted to get her something personal too, besides the big present we will all jointly make her.

Yesterday night I did not feel good. I wanted to go home, I wanted to never go back, I wanted to sleep, I needed to pack. I sat on the floor. Did days worth of dishes, the boiling water scorching my skin and the food bits clogging the strainer basket until I threw the disgusting mush in the bin. 

For some reason, I wanted to cry - but I did not. I felt like cleaning such dirty dishes, revolting food remains incrusted on ceramic, skin-burning water, chemical-blue lemon soap, was a sad metaphor for this holiday. I might be pessimistic, but I am just cleaning up the dirty dishes, trying to make things better. 

Today was a liminal day - etymologically too - because it took my the whole day to get to Luton airport. The bus on the way there broke. The engine exploded, fractured in half, and twenty minute slater a new one showed up. They spelled my name wrong when I was getting coffee, my father was still home when I came back.

I need to study philosophy. 

-c.

[lovelessmotel]

(so, ive been missing knight chimney and princess maddie REAL bad lately so here’s some jealous and sad chim and then some fluffy goodness)

Howie does not get jealous.

He simply doesn’t have the time for it, the energy. If he decided to get jealous every time a potential suitor made eyes at Maddie, he’d never get anything done. This week however has been....difficult.

A week long party for the Summer Solstice; guests in and out, Howie and Hen and the other knights pulling double time to make sure that nothing was amiss. It was busy and chaotic and whenever Howie was able to catch a glimpse of Maddie, she was always with this man. 

Tall, handsome, more likely than not some prince that was trying to charm his way into Maddie’s heart. That itself wouldn’t be a problem, except that Maddie seemed to actually be enjoying herself in this man’s company. She’d laugh, smile, even willingly danced with him one night while Howie scowled from the corner. 

Hen had simply laughed, giving him a solid whack on the arm.

“Ow.”

“A bit jealous there, are we?”

Howie scrunched his nose. “I do not get jealous.”

“Howard, if looks could kill that man would be six feet under.”

There’s a bit of truth to that, he realized. He thinks much of it comes from the fact that the week has been so hectic, he hasn’t gotten to see Maddie on his own once. No chance to hold her in his arms, kiss her, press his nose into her temple and hear her giggle. 

It only gets worse when he’s patrolling the gardens the next day, and hears voices that he recognizes. Maddie and Josh, picnicking in the warm sun, laughing together. Howie thinks about surprising them, saying hello, when he overhears their conversation through the bushes.

“-such a terribly long week, but at least he’s always near. Makes me feel so much better having him around.” Maddie’s voice sounds dreamy and far away, and Howie’s heart sinks.

“And how lucky you are to have him, especially at a time like this. So many bachelors around, but I think they’re getting the message.” They laugh together, and Howie slinks away, feeling defeated and foolish.

Maddie finding someone else, more fitting to her lifestyle and needs was always something in the back of his mind, a nagging that he tried to ignore. But perhaps it’s best this way. 

He mopes around all day, brushing Hen off when she tries to figure out what’s wrong. There’s more partying that night, music and food in the great hall, but Howie excuses himself, figuring that they’ll handle just fine without him.

There’s some targets set up just at the edge of the woods, a makeshift archery range that he heads to to blow off some steam (along with a bottle of liquor that he nabbed from the party.) He’s going to shoot arrows and drink until he feels less sad, a perfect plan, in his opinion. 

He’s starting to feel a bit more relaxed, his bullseyes still landing perfectly despite the alcohol, when he hears footsteps behind him.

“Hen told me I could find you here.”

It’s Maddie, hair curled elegantly along her shoulders, dress of shining blues and purples. She looks stunning, and Howie’s heart aches. 

“Yes, I was just-” He nods at the arrows stuck into the tree. “Practicing.”

“Well you’re still an amazing shot, no doubts about it.” Maddie’s smiles falls after a moment, head titling as she examines her knight. “Hen was right. You’re upset. What’s wrong?”

‘Damn you Hen’, he thinks and he sets his bow down on the ground, sighing.

“I’m fine. I just think you should get back to your party. I’m sure there’s princes waiting for you.” 

Maddie scoffs. “Like I’d want to see any of them over you.” 

“What about the one you’ve been with all week? I’m sure he misses you.”

“Prince Ryder? Oh he’s very kind, but he has someone back home he’s trying to woo. A marvelous new friend, we’ve really had quiet a nice time together. I think I’ve already been invited to his future wedding.”

Howie’s brow furrows. “Then who were you and Josh talking about? I overheard you in the gardens and....”

Maddie’s face goes blank for a moment before she shakes her head, smiling. She closes the distance between them, wrapping her arms around Howie’s waist.

“I was talking about you, my sweet knight.” She leans up on her tiptoes, pressing a kiss to the spot between his brows, trying to erase the tension there. “You’ve been keeping watch on me all week, it makes me feel safe knowing you’re around. With all the withering looks you’ve been giving all the men, most of them won’t even come near me.” Maddie laughs as she says it, and Howie can’t help the blush that creeps onto his face. He thought he’d been more subtle.

“Well it is my job to protect you Princess. Can’t have any bad apples trying to win you over.” 

Maddie sees through the teasing right away, and she holds back a laugh.

“Howie. You were jealous weren’t you?”

He pouts. “I do not get jealous. I was just....I was worried that you’d moved on to someone else. Someone more fitting.”

“There is no one more fitting for me than you Howard.” She presses a kiss to his nose. “No flashy prince or duke could change the way I feel about you.”

Howie can’t help but feel a little silly, a little upset at himself for his own self deprecation. “Never think less of yourself Howie, for any reason. You are amazing and kind and strong and funny, and most importantly-” Maddie presses a soft kiss to his lips.

“-All mine.”

He smiles, heart full for the first time in so many days. “All yours Princess.”

[orleans-jester]

Gabriella Jones Sofia Boutella

Her life’s story sounds like something out of a comic book movie. Summer would be well jealous.

She was raised by warrior monks, and because of that upbringing, she tends to have a serious exterior, except for when she absolutely has to blend in with the crowds. Sometimes a straight face can bring about more attention than a smile.

When she ventured out into the world, she quickly found a position being a bodyguard for an Italian Mobster ‘Leo the Beast’.

She was damn good at what she did. She was good with a gun. She was good with a sword. She was good at keeping her cool in the most dire situations.

However---

On one of the days in which she was sent to do a task, someone had ambushed Leo and his other bodyguards. There were no survivors. Just casualties. While the rest of the family was planning their revenge, Gabriella could not let her heart get broken again so she left, dropped ties, and moved to one of the most busy, hectic, chaotic cities in the world - New Orleans.

With there being news of magic just about every week - dragons and wars and murder trials, she thought she might be able to fit in there, or at the very least, make herself small until things blew over.

Because of her many years of training, there would be a few who would find her to be quite an enigma. Frank and Summer, for instance. Her mind was so calm, so constantly in that zen state - even while killing - that they wouldn’t be able to pick up much of anything from her. That might get her the attention that she was trying to avoid. It would be an interesting lifestyle change.

[woah-were-halfway-there]

After their vacation and Auston surgery he’d be like “I’m excited for the rest that’s too come this season and after it. I’m excited to meet our little bean and then making you mine for good! I’m so excited for this all!! This summer was so nice before some of the most amazing stuff that’s about to happen!” And Carson is crying happy tears cause her hormones but she’s gotten lucky and is blessed to have a man like Auston in her life for the rest of their lives. How he’d see her tearing up and he’d be like “come here baby!” And pull her into him and she’d be like “how’d I get so lucky!” Then auston would go on about how he’s actually the lucky one.

Please they’re just the softest and love each other so much. But they definitely would’ve had that conversation after vacation and his surgery. Like they’d talk about how they had such a good summer and how it was so needed before how busy and chaotic things are going to start being once they’re back in Toronto. And like at this point, not everyone knows she’s even pregnant yet. Like Auston’s family does cause they were there when they found out they were expecting and she would’ve called her dad, Mya and Nate by now but she really wanted to tell Mitch and Steph and all of their friends in Toronto in person but that’s not how that plays out lmao but it’s ok. Carson and Auston just know the next few months are going to be so hectic but they’re excited. In those months they get to meet their baby and soon after they start looking at houses. And of course, their wedding in the summer. Everything is just so good with them