#Jimmy Palmer fanfiction

[tumbleweed-palmer]

hi!!! i dont know if you write smut but im obsessed with the prompts you republished and i was wondering if you could write an jimmy x reader with prompts 3,22 and 30??

Welcome Home

Here you go! The smut wound up being pretty filthy. There is no real plot to be found here just smut. Obviously minors DNI.

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The bed felt way too big without him. She knew the thought was silly. Their bed wasn’t all that huge. It was just a standard Queen size bed. Honestly it was a step up from the beds they’d slept in together when they’d been living separately. 

Y/N could remember the first time she’d spent the night on Jimmy Palmer’s old bed, back when he’d had his own place. The mattress had been a little lumpy and the metal framed bed had creaked with every little movement. Needless to say, she’d not gotten a good night’s rest when she spent the night at Jimmy’s place. She had found that she didn’t mind too much though. A less than great night’s rest seemed well worth it due to the man sleeping beside her.

When they’d made the choice to move in together, a bed had been the very first thing on their list of things to purchase when it came time to consolidate or sell their belongings.

To tell the truth, Y/N had a feeling the bed only felt too large because she was all alone in it.

She tried hard not to let her loneliness swallow her alive.

She told herself that it was ridiculous to be so mopey. She was being pathetic for feeling so forlorn having to sleep on her own. 

She was being overdramatic. Jimmy would be back home soon enough. It wasn’t as though he was never coming home. 

When Jimmy had first come to her with the exciting news that Dr. Mallard had invited him to go to a medical examiners convention that was taking place down in Orlando, Florida, she’d had no other reaction than to share his enthusiasm.

She knew it was a wonderful opportunity for him. He’d get to make professional connections and talk to experts in a field he hoped to join once he passed his licensing exam. 

Of course after the initial enthusiasm she’d had to wrap her mind around the concept that there was such a thing as a medical examiners convention. She guessed it made sense. There were probably conventions for just about anything and anyone. 

It was hard not to feel excited for Jimmy even when he’d told her that the convention would be a four day event.

One big thing that had attracted Y/N to Jimmy was his enthusiasm. He was genuinely excitable about most things.

He was passionate about his job. He was proud to assist Dr. Mallard. He felt that his career ambitions provided him with a privilege to help give closure to those who the deceased left behind. He felt that he was lucky to have the opportunity to have someone as experienced and as respected as Ducky as his mentor. 

Jimmy was so enthusiastic about learning. He was open to expanding his mind and loved learning both inside and outside of the classroom. This was something Y/N had found incredibly attractive.

To be honest she’d always considered herself a little sapiosexual. She knew it sounded so pretentious, but she found intelligence to be incredibly sexy.

To her there was nothing hotter than when a guy could share knowledge with her. She found the sight of a guy reading far sexier than the sight of a guy throwing a football.

There was a fine line to this attraction of course. She was turned on by intelligence, but there was no bigger turn off than when someone had a superiority complex about their intelligence.

Nothing could make her more turned off than when someone thought that sharing new information with her meant talking down to her and assuming she needed something explained to her because she was far too dumb to understand it on her own.

She liked intelligence, but she hated arrogance.

To her relief Jimmy Palmer didn’t have an arrogant cell in his body.

He was delighted to share information with her, never making her feel dumb for having questions or needing clarification. He explained things with such an aura of enthusiasm that it never felt as though he was lording knowledge over her.

He was as sweet as he was intelligent.

She felt so lucky to be able to call him her boyfriend. They’d been together for over a year now and had recently made the decision to move in together.

She could honestly say she’d never been happier. It felt like she was a world away from the person she’d been over a year before.

She’d been a mess when she’d met Jimmy.

She’d met Abby first. 

Y/N was a probationary agent at NCIS. It was an opportunity she was grateful for. She wanted to work hard and earn her place on a team. It wasn’t an easy job. She had found herself building solidarity among her fellow probation agents. That solidarity had led to her bonding with one of her peers to the point of things becoming romantic. 

She’d fallen hard for a fellow probationary agent. 

She’d thought that things were going well. She’d even taken him home to meet her mom.

Apparently she was uninformed about the actual nature of their relationship. It seemed that she’d taken it far more seriously than him. His commitment issues had been far too deep to actually bind himself to her in a serious relationship. 

Her boyfriend had thought that it was a great idea to break up with her at work, by text message nonetheless. Apparently he just couldn’t bear to do it in person. So, he was not only a commitmentphobe, but a coward as well. 

Y/N had been crushed. 

She’d always been a hopeless romantic and had a tendency to get easily attached to people. It was a fault she was well aware of. She had a tendency to be a little too much, or at least that was what people tended to tell her.

She was known to let her heart get a little too carried away. It led to hurt and heartbreak more often than not. She also had the fault of being far too sensitive.

Usually she could compartmentalize her emotions well enough when it came to performing her job. Having her heart shattered at work by someone who she would most likely have no way of avoiding, was a little too much for her to compartmentalize as usual. 

So, there she was recently broken up with crying in a stall in the ladies bathroom in NCIS’ basement.

She’d been in the middle of her pity party when a voice had sounded out apparently taking notice of her sobbing though she was trying hard to be as quiet as possible. “Are you okay in there?”

She’d glanced down at the gap underneath the stall door, her brow furrowing at the pair of black platform boots that were visible through that small gap.

She’d felt her mouth run before her brain could stop it spilling her heart to the mystery person in platform boots behind the door. 

The owner of the boots had coaxed her into opening the stall door, revealing one Abby Sciuto. Abby had given Y/N a much needed peptalk and had decided at that moment to take Y/N under her wing.

Given Y/N current state, she’d seemed in dire need of a friend.  

The friendship with Abby had led to Y/N meeting everyone else in Abby’s inner circle including Jimmy Palmer.

Jimmy had liked Y/N from the start. However he’d been hesitant to make a move, being well aware that Abby was a bit protective over her new probationary agent friend. He’d been even more hesitant when he’d found out about the situation with Y/N’s ex. He’d assumed that given how things had ended with her ex, Y/N most likely wasn’t open to any future attempts at an office romance.

Abby had once again stepped in and saved the day it seemed. She’d talked Y/N into reserving two seats at a sip and paint course for them to attend during the weekend. The Friday before they were due to attend the course she’d conveniently had a family emergency. 

Y/N could remember realizing what Abby was up to when she’d spoken. “Don’t let the reservation go to waste. Give someone my seat. I know someone who would love to take my place. Jimmy is really into art. You should invite him.”

Y/N had ignored the fact that Abby had clearly planned this and had taken the bait.

Much to her shock Jimmy had taken the bait as well.

One date together and Jimmy and she had become inseparable. She’d shown him that she was in fact not against an office romance.

Jimmy had proven to her that he was quite the romantic. He openly doted on her and she tended to do the same in return.

The sweet adoring relationship they’d built had made Jimmy’s absence all the more distressing to Y/N.

Work provided a nice distraction at the very least, but when she was home she couldn’t help but to feel lonely. She would be lying if she tried to deny the fact that in Jimmy’s absence she had taken to sleeping in his t-shirts and found herself moving a little closer to his pillow simply because it smelled like him. 

She visibly perked up at the sound of her cell phone ringing the particular tone she was hearing attached to just the man she was missing. She practically launched across the bed over to the bedside table snatching up her phone. 

She spoke praying she wasn’t out of breath from her sudden frantic scramble across the bed. “Hey you.”

“Hi yourself.” Jimmy’s voice sounded out from the other end of the phone.

Y/N focused on tracing the pattern embroidered into one of the decorative pillows they kept on their bed. “So, how’s the convention today?”

She smiled at the obvious excitement in Jimmy’s voice as he replied to her question. “Great, I’ve been able to meet a lot of really interesting people so far. They’ve had some stories that could put Dr. Mallard’s to shame. I’ll have to tell you some of them when I get home, if I can actually remember all the details.”

She felt the smile grow all the more trying to keep her voice bright and sunny without a hint of how badly she missed him. “I’m looking forward to it.”

Jimmy was fast to respond. “Oh, and I got you a t-shirt….well, technically it’s a t-shirt for me…but I know by now my t-shirts are basically your t-shirts. I have a strong feeling you’re wearing one of my t-shirts right now.”

She felt a giggle leave her glancing down at the Georgetown t-shirt she’d snagged from Jimmy’s dresser the second she’d jumped out of the shower this evening. “I plead the fifth…wait, they actually have t-shirts at a medical examiner’s convention?”

“Oh yeah, they have a lot of swag. There’s just about everything you can imagine…there’s a lot of pens strangely.” Jimmy replied, chuckling at her avoidance of admitting that she was in fact wearing one of his shirts.

“Huh, I mean I guess it makes sense. You take a lot of notes during an autopsy right?” She replied, continuing to toy with the decorative pillow.

Jimmy responded another small laugh leaving him. “Yeah during the initial visual external exam…you know, looking at all the outside features, making notes of everything we see, but usually it’s easier to just use a device to record our findings especially during the internal exam. Then we can just take notes off the audio recordings.”

“Oh, huh. I guess that makes sense. It’s probably because pens are pretty cheap then.” She responded pretty accustomed to hearing all the nitty gritty details of just what Jimmy’s and Dr. Mallard’s profession involved.

She had learned far more about autopsies and death than she’d ever imagined she would.

She found that she didn’t mind knowing this much, Jimmy liked to talk about his career and his education. She appreciated his desire to share with her.

Sure, some of the information turned her stomach, but she wanted Jimmy to have the ability to talk about his job with her. He deserved to be able to talk about his day with her. It just so happened that his day involved information about rates of decay and the ideal weight of a liver.

She could admit that the subject of his education often became a downtime routine for them. Jimmy tended to get a lot of reading material about his profession suggested to him by Dr. Mallard, rather it was academic journals or books.

Occasionally Jimmy and she would cuddle on the sofa or in bed and Jimmy would read whatever material he’d gotten his hands on to her. She’d requested it, suggesting to him that reading the information to her and explaining it would be a great way to retain the information.

That was partially true, but she would also admit she just liked listening to his voice. It was kind of strange, she could listen to him read some frankly uncomfortable information, but it was almost comforting listening to his voice, feeling the rumble of his chest as he spoke.

A tiny part of her had to fear that perhaps there was something wrong with her to be so comfortable with this information. Realistically she knew though that she didn’t get some kind of perverse enjoyment hearing about it all. She just enjoyed being able to bond with Jimmy over his career.

Jimmy had seemed to appreciate her attempts to stomach the more uncomfortable details of his job and his education.

He’d scared plenty of people away with his career ambitions. He was relieved that Y/N didn’t disappear at the mention of Y-incisions or the average weight of the human brain.

It wasn’t something Jimmy had been accustomed to prior to Y/N. His past attempts at dating had been disastrous. Most people paled at the concept of death and more so at the concept of someone who was willing to make their living surrounded by death.

Jimmy guessed that Y/N understood the reality of his career, after all she was a probationary agent for NCIS. She was accustomed to crime scenes even if she hadn’t quite worked her way up to being assigned to a team just yet.

Y/N spoke again, unable to stop the words from leaving her. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too,  you have no idea. I think if I wasn’t so busy during the day it’d drive me nuts. I am debating if Dr. Mallard ever invites me to more conventions if I can sweet talk him into letting me take you along. I think we could pass it off as a way for you to broaden your knowledge as a hopeful full fledged NCIS agent.”

She chuckled at the suggestion, “I’m not sure Ducky would buy it. I’m pretty sure he’d realize your suggestion of me tagging along has less to do with broadening my knowledge and more to do with hotel room activities.”

Jimmy was fast to reply to her observation. “Hey, to be fair we’d have to leave the hotel room so I could actually attend the convention. So I wouldn’t just be interested in what we can do in a hotel bed…or you know a bathtub like that one time.”

She giggled, unable to deny the aching need that easily spread throughout her body at the memory he was recalling. 

The experience had been fun, but had been frankly pretty messy. It had taken several towels to manage to soak up all the water that had escaped the tub during their bathtub tryst. After that, they’d decided that any sexual activity that took place in the bathroom should probably remain in a shower stall, not a bathtub. 

Before she had a chance to make a flirty comment Jimmy spoke changing the subject. “I need a favor.”

She raised an eyebrow Jimmy speaking again seemingly reading her mind without having to even see her expression. “Not what you’re thinking.”

“Okay, so if not phone sex or dirty photos, what do you need?” She replied hiding the disappointment from her voice that the favor wasn’t going to lead to a little naughty phone fun. 

Jimmy was quick to respond. “I think I had a package delivered earlier this evening. Do you think you can go grab it for me? I just, I don’t feel comfortable leaving it out by the front door. I don’t think our neighbors would steal it, but it’d just make me feel better to know it’s inside with you.”

She furrowed her brow a bit, thrown off by the request. She searched her brain trying to remember if she’d seen a package by their front door when she’d entered their apartment earlier this evening.

She couldn’t remember seeing anything, but there of course was the possibility it had been delivered after she’d arrived home.

She spoke, reluctantly pulling herself from their bed. “Of course I can grab it. What’d you order?”

“It’s a surprise. You’ll see.” Jimmy replied without any hesitation.

She frowned all the more, a bit shocked by the secrecy. 

She felt her curiosity spike as she left their bedroom keeping her phone pressed to her ear as she walked through the living room.

She unlocked and opened their front door fully expecting to drag some mysterious package inside. 

When she opened the door she found no package, but the last thing or person she’d expected to see.

She stared up at Jimmy, his cell phone still pressed to his ear as he spoke. “Surprise.”

She almost dropped her cell phone but had enough sense to hang up dropping it on a nearby table.

She almost knocked Jimmy off balance as she practically tackled him, embracing him tightly. He stumbled a bit, managing to hang up his own phone and shove it in his jacket pocket.

He wrapped his arms around her, embracing her just as tightly.

Y/N buried her head against Jimmy’s chest taking in his familiar scent almost afraid that this wasn’t actually happening.

She reluctantly parted from him just enough to speak, her brow furrowing in confusion. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in Orlando for two more days.”

Jimmy gave her a small grin quick to explain. “Dr. Mallard’s mother had a spat with the nurse Dr. Mallard hired to watch over her while he was gone. So, he had to get back to Virginia. He told me that I was free to stay for the rest of the convention, but to be honest, as much fun as I was having, I missed you more.”

He spoke again, spotting the flash of concern on Y/N’s features. “Mrs. Mallard is fine. She just had some anxiety and became agitated. Dr. Mallard will be able to manage it.”

She nodded her head well aware of Victoria Mallard’s age related dementia. It could occasionally cause her to be irritable and she’d lash out. She was confused more often than not. It was a lot of work for Ducky to manage.

Y/N had met Ducky’s mother during a Sunday night dinner, at the Mallard residence, Jimmy and she had been invited to. She’d felt for Dr. Mallard. It seemed like a lot to manage. She did find it admirable though; the amount of care and love he had for his mother to want so deeply to take care of her in the comfort of a home instead of a care facility.

She pushed her concern for the Mallards out of her mind telling herself that Jimmy didn’t seem to be worried.

She chuckled, giving his chest a playful shove. “I can’t believe you’ve been home the entire time we’ve been on the phone.”

“Hey, I was trying to give you a nice surprise. You’re satisfied with your surprise, right?” He replied, a playful smile crossing his lips.

She returned the smile not helping but to yank his chain. “I was kind of hoping for diamonds to be honest.”

He let out a huff pressing a kiss to her temple. “If you’re holding out on diamonds, I have some bad news for you. You’re hitching your wagon to a guy who has a federal salary.”

He pressed another kiss to her temple, unable to stop himself from saying the words. “It may happen one day though…I’m not opposed to saving up for a diamond for you if you really wanted one.”

She shook her head, reaching up to smooth back his messy curls. “Eh, I have a federal salary too…probably less than yours. I’m perfectly happy without diamonds. All I need is you.”

He spoke as she buried her face against his chest once again perfectly happy to cuddle with him. “You have me.”

They stood in silence for the briefest moment locked in an adoring embrace soaking up the feel of the other. The moment was broken when Y/N shivered slightly, it hitting her she was still technically in her pjs which consisted of the t-shirt she’d borrowed from Jimmy and a thin pair of pink hello kitty pj shorts.

Jimmy chuckled realizing they were technically standing with the door wide open embracing in the doorway in the middle of October. The northeast autumns we’rent known to be toasty.

She reluctantly parted from him allowing him to step inside dragging his rolling suitcase behind him.

They barely closed the door behind them before Jimmy’s arms were wrapped tight around her embracing her once again.

She gazed up at him her unable to hide the neediness from her voice. Please kiss me.”

Jimmy obliged her request quickly, his lips pressing to hers so softly at first it was almost a ghost of a kiss along her lips.

It didn’t take him long to deepen the kiss, Y/N returning it with enthusiasm. 

She felt her knees grow weak, his kisses always having this impact on her. She could still remember the first time they’d kissed. Her knees had grown just as wobbly when he’d kissed her at her front door after a date. Jimmy Palmer had no right to be such an amazing kisser.

He coaxed her mouth open, having no trouble dominating the kisses with zero resistance from her. He slid his tongue along hers, his hands beginning to roam her clothed body caressing it adoringly. The action made her knees grow all the more unsteady; she was almost sure she’d collapse to the ground if Jimmy wasn’t technically holding her up.

She knew it would be quite a shock to most people given how passive and generally agreeable Jimmy seemed to be at work, but he was actually quite dominant in the bedroom. No, he wasn’t dominant in the sense that he was spanking her and putting a leather collar around her neck.

He just tended to easily take the lead when it came to sex. She’d found that she was all too willing to be pliable and submissive to his touches and kisses.

She reluctantly allowed him to part his lips from hers, neither of them attempting to move away and create even an ounce of space between them.

He spoke his voice taking a huskier tone the need just as apparent in his tone. “Remember those bedroom activities we were talking about earlier?”

“I think I can recall something about it.” She teased, resisting the urge to press her lips back to his and desperately coax him back into kissing her.

He spoke a small smirk crossing his lips, his hands leisurely stroking her clothed sides. “I think we should go to the bedroom.”

His suitcase was quickly abandoned, Jimmy kicking off his shoes, his coat, and ditching his button down shirt on the way to the bedroom.

He knew Y/N might fuss at him for leaving a trail of clothing in the hallway but he had a feeling it would be well worth it.

They entered the bedroom making their way to the bed Jimmy falling back on it. Y/N wasted no time to join him in bed straddling his hips. She leaned down, Jimmy leaning up to press his lips to hers.

They kissed for a long while Jimmy allowing his hands to slide under her t-shirt caressing her soft warm skin. He teased his fingertips across her waist, the action making her shudder and whimper the touch too teasing for her liking.

He pulled his lips from hers , making her whine all the more. He spoke, a teasing tone to his voice. “Show me how much you need me.”

She gave him a soft smile knowing just what to do. She pressed her lips along his jaw pressing soft lingering kisses across his skin working her way down his neck. She worked her way down his body, her fingers sliding under his undershirt caressing his skin.

She coaxed him to lean up just enough for her to pull his undershirt up and over his head. She moaned at the sight of his bare torso.

Something that had been pretty shocking about Jimmy Palmer was that he was fit. She’d been stunned the first time she’d seen him nude and realized just how muscular he actually was. She would distinctly remember staring at his abs the first time they’d made love. 

They’d been mid undressing one another when she’d stared down the words leaving her lips she speaking to herself. “Oh, wow, you have a V.”

She could still remember the look of utter confusion he had given her in response. She had been so flustered realizing the words had even escaped her brain. She’d poked at the v-cut along his abs, clarifying herself, her cheeks flushing.

She could still remember what Jimmy had said in response. “Oh, you mean where my obliques meet my transversus abdominis muscles.”

As soon as the words had left his lips they’d both burst out laughing at the utter ridiculousness of the entire exchange. That was the biggest thing she remembered about their first time making love, just how much they’d giggled. It had been playful and sweet and to be honest a tiny bit awkward at times. It had been perfect.

She was pleased to find that each time making love after had been just as satisfying.

She brought her brain back to the current task at hand, she pressing soft kisses down his torso working her way down slowly.

She took her time pressing kisses to his skin he moaning in response. She tried to hold her laughter in as she reached for his belt buckle brushing her hand along the bulge in his pants, the action working a louder moan from his lips. Jimmy Palmer was as vocal in the bedroom as he was in his everyday life.

She unfastened his belt pulling it from his belt loops wasting little time to unfasten his jeans and work them down his legs with a little help from Jimmy.

His boxers followed soon thereafter, kicking them off somewhere far at the end of the bed.

She moaned at his hardness; it was quite evident he was just as eager as she was.

She took her time pressing kisses to his thighs working her way up to his pelvis avoiding the one area he wanted her lips the most.

He whined as she continued to tease him avoiding doing what he wanted, his cock aching at the torment. He’d forgotten just how good she was at teasing him when she wanted to be. It seemed that despite the fact that she’d missed him terribly while he was away, she was perfectly in the mood to tease him and make him wait.

He groaned as she pressed her lips all too close to his cock not giving in just yet. He couldn’t stop his hips from thrusting, feeling far too needy.

She giggled at the action quick to verbally tease him. “Poor thing, you really want this really bad don’t you?”

He nodded his head frantically, a whine leaving him unable to verbalize the words.

She took some pity on him pressing a light kiss against his shaft, the action not nearly enough. He whimpered a plea leaving him. “Please.”

She stared up at him looking far too innocent given her current position. “Please what?”

He groaned realizing that while he usually had zero issue being the dominant one in bed, his girlfriend could turn the tables on him any time she wanted.

He spoke staring down at her, sure his eyes were locked with hers when he said the words. “Suck me off.”

She chuckled at the question running her fingertips along his pelvis teasingly close to his shaft. “What do we say?”

He let out a frustrated whine realizing now that the tables were totally turned. “Suck my cock please.”

She gave him exactly what he wanted, easily wrapping her lips around him. She wasted no time to begin bobbing her head using her hand to stroke what she wasn’t quite ready to take just yet.

He cried out the hot wet heat of her lips wrapped around him enough to make his balls ache. He gripped down on the bedsheets doing all he could not to thrust against her.

He knew for a fact that she wasn’t amused when he rocked his hips against her when she was blowing him. She’d pointed out to him that she’d had a few experiences with guys who seemed to think porn was a guide to what to do during a blow job. A few of her past partners had seemed to think that attempting to jackhammer against her and make her gag was somehow pleasant for her.

She was relieved that Jimmy seemed to have a bit more common sense than her past romantic partners. 

He might occasionally slip up and rock his hips once or twice but he was never rough with her. If he placed his hand on her head it was usually to stroke her hair or wrap his fingers in her hair, not to shove her head down.

She worked him for a good long while familiar enough with his body to know exactly what he loved and exactly what drove him to completion. 

She knew from past experience he liked her to take it slow and work her speed up. He enjoyed it when she might get a little vocal moaning around his shaft, the action making his eyes roll in the back of his head. He definitely liked it if she massaged his balls.

She did just what she knew drove him crazy; she letting out a throaty moan, the vocalization vibrating around his shaft making him whine. He spoke his voice a pathetic whine. “You take it so good.”

She would have smiled had she not currently had her mouth occupied. She began to take the next step in what she knew usually made him fall apart, she taking him as deep as she possibly could, being sure to moan as she reached as far down to the base of him as she could.

He groaned at this her name falling from his lips, his thighs quivering.

She was shocked as he pulled back from her he leaving her mouth the wet noise not entirely pleasant sounding. He groaned fast to speak. “Can’t keep doing that. Gonna cum, don’t want to cum there.”

She chuckled making her way back up his body, his lips pressing to hers eagerly, his kisses deep and sloppy.

She let out a giggle as he took her by surprise rolling them both over he wasting no time to reach down to the hem of her shirt pulling the t-shirt up and over her head.

He groaned, staring down at her bare breasts, he wasting no time to eagerly wrap his lips around one of her nipples. He sucked enthusiastically the stimulation causing her to moan her head falling back.

He repeated the action to her other breast a pleased noise leaving him as he focused on the upper half of her body.

Their first time making love she had been pleased to find that Jimmy Palmer was super into foreplay and from his usual actions she had come to the conclusion that he was most definitely a breast man.

He reluctantly pulled his lips from her breasts, wasting no time to slide down a hand down her body reaching the hem of her pajama shorts, yanking them down her legs along with her panties.

He moaned, running a hand along her thigh, his fingers easily finding her center. He grazed them along her lips before thrusting one finger quickly followed by another into her heat. He spoke a deep groan leaving him as he thrusted his fingers. “You’re soaked.”

She whined, unable to verbalize a response to his observation. She wanted to tell him she’d been wet from the moment he’d started teasing her over the phone recalling their past bedroom activities.

He spoke again, his fingers finding her clit rubbing delicate circles into it, the action causing her to cry out her fingers twisting in the bedsheets she resisting the urge to run her nails down his back. “You take my fingers so good baby, but I know you’ve got such a sensitive clit. I bet I could make you cum just by doing this alone.”

She whined nodding her head wordlessly in agreement. He was right. He could so make her cum hard just by toying with her clit.

She moaned, it taking all the willpower she had to say the words. “Want to cum with you in me.”

He groaned the words all the encouragement he needed. He pulled his fingers from her not missing the chance to bring them to his lips, cleaning her taste from them.

He spoke, pulling his hand from his lips, he reaching up finally pulling his glasses off placing them on the bedside table. “On your knees, or missionary?”

She gave her answer eagerly rolling over to her stomach, wasting no time to take to her elbows and knees.

He groaned knowing he shouldn’t be shocked by her choice. He’d been pretty vocal about admitting that this was one of his favorite positions.

He got on his knees positioning himself behind her. He took himself in hand running his aching cock along her center coating it with her a deep needy noise leaving both of them.

It took him a little time to feel secure that he had positioned himself in the perfect spot before he finally thrust forward her center enveloping his aching cock.

He groaned the words leaving him. “I will never get enough of you.”

She whined he staying still for a moment letting her adjust to him. She was the one who thrust herself back against him, a frustrated whine leaving her she making it clear she was in no mood to draw it out.

He followed her lead, thrusting eagerly against her. She moaned at the feel of him sliding in and out of her.

She knew he loved this position because he could get so deep in her. The only drawback he found was that he couldn’t exactly hold her the way he wanted to during this. 

She wasn’t shocked as he placed a hand on her stomach, his fingers sliding down her waist. She whined as his fingers found her clit, managing to toy with it. She cried out the stimulation of his fingers rubbing circles against her sensitive clit and the sensation of his cock sliding in and out of her dragging along her walls was almost too much.

He groaned, proving that he was just as vocal as ever even in the midst of pleasure. “Missed you so much, honey. Missed your body, couldn’t stop thinking about this every fucking night.”

She moaned his confession making her center clinch around him the action making him grunt his actions becoming more frantic.

She whined the only sound filling the room for a long while were their moans of pleasure and the sound of his skin meeting hers as he eagerly thrusted against her.

She moaned as her body began to tense up, her body feeling so overstimulated and desperate for release. She knew it wouldn’t be much longer now. She could feel it building inside of her the more he toyed with her clit and rocked against her the more she felt her orgasm build.

She squealed his name struggling to leave her lips as she felt her body slide towards release, her thighs quivering, her center fluttering around him.

Jimmy grunted rocking through her orgasm, She squeezing him so tight he had to fight hard not to cum right then and there.

She whined her arms growing tired of helping hold up her body weight, her arms giving out, she practically collapsing against the bed in a pathetic heap.

Jimmy pressed adoring kisses to her sweat damp back pushing her hair aside to press kisses along her neck.

He ignored his own aching cock focusing on letting her recover knowing she needed to take a breath not wanting to overstimulate her all the more.

He whined pulling out of her staring down at his hard shaft. A hiss left him as he damp skin was exposed to the cold room.

She managed to find the energy to roll over on her back a moan leaving her as she stared down at him, her post orgasm brain clearing enough to realize he still hadn’t reached his end.

She spoke, reaching out to stroke his ribs. “Where do you want to finish?”

He groaned the answer falling from his lips he thanking the powers that be for the invention of the pill. “Inside.”

She parted her thighs for him knowing exactly what he wanted.

He moved over her a low moan leaving him as his aching cock slid along her center her nude body pressed against his making him ache all the more.

He worked quickly positioning himself at her entrance, thrusting in her a groan leaving him. He spoke a low voice more to himself than her. “Feels like being home.”

She moaned at the statement, her lips meeting his. His lips kept pressed to hers as he began to thrust again.

He whined against the kiss knowing he was pathetically close. He had found that it was always this way with her. He was always so desperate for her and so delighted that she wanted him just as badly as he wanted her.

She truly was his dream girl and he wasn’t just saying it because he was currently balls deep inside of her.

She ran her hands long his back pulling her legs up to wrap around his hips allowing him to thrust at a deeper angle.

He spoke against the kiss, his balls drawing closer and closer to his body signaling that he was so close. “I love you, feels too good.”

She moaned, pressing a few pecks to his lips as she replied. “Love you, always feels so good.”

The words were enough to make him hit his end, his cock twitching his thrusts sloppy as he spilled inside of her. He cried out burying his face against her neck, his body shuddering at how overpowered he was by his end.

He felt himself collapse against her relieved that she never seemed to mind the weight of his body over hers. She’d once told him that she found it kind of comforting to be honest. She felt adored, safe, and protected by him in these moments.

He lazily pressed his lips to her skin as he tried to come down from his end, the last of his release spilling into her.

He was reluctant to pull out and leave her warmth but his softening cock seemed to make the choice for him, he sliding out of her.

He groaned as he rolled over onto his back staring up at the ceiling. He was still out of breath but incredibly pleased.

She rolled over nestling against his chest, he wrapping his arms around her holding her against him. 

She spoke a giggle leaving her, her eyes drowsy, the smile on her lips proving she was just as pleased as him. “If this is the result, I’m going to send you to more conventions.”

He giggled at the comment, his lips pressing to hers. He spoke his voice drowsy, the post orgasmic haze making him feel sleepy. “The convention was fun, but I’d pick being here with you over anything.”

She spoke as he began to drift off to sleep, her own eyes growing heavy. “Welcome home.”

[thestarwarslesbian]

Am I going to write a 9-1-1/NCIS crossover?

YES!

When will it be set? Post tsunami but no lawsuit (yet!)

Will Buck be a Navy SEAL? Yes, he’s just before the bomb has finished in the reserves.

Tommy? Absolutely! They meet as Tommy left the 118

Buddie? NOT ROMANTIC ONLY PLATONIC! Best friends who are still in contact.

Bobby is the father figure of Buck? DEFINITELY NOT! That is the role of Gibbs.

Is Ana going to be in it? NOPE!

Eddie demisexual? YEP! And he will be getting a boyfriend (Yes from the NCIS cast)

Will team Gibbs not like the 118 fam (minuses Eddie)? Yes!

[writeandsurvive]

Caught in a Snow Storm ~ Alden Parker 1/2

Summary: After a work road trip, you and Alden have to stop at a hotel cause the roads are being closed and there’s only one room left.

Warnings: one bed, heater goes out, smut, age gap, smoking, handjob, oral (f receiving).

Words count: 5.2k

Author’s note: yes, despite being summer, I’m writing winter fics. I couldn’t shake this idea off my head so I finally wrote it down. Second part coming soon! Special mention to Supernatural in this work because 18 years later, I finally fell into the rabbit hole. I hope you’ll like it! ❤️

None of this was planned. Nothing happened the way it should have. The whole trip was a major waste of time, giving you zero info for your murder case and even less a lead. On top of that, a huge snow storm hit, blocking the roads and you had to stop at the first hotel you found. You usually love the snow, you find it beautiful when it’s all white outside. But this time, it was just the cherry on the cake. “Do you have everything you need for a sleepover?” You did this trip with your team leader, Alden Parker. You didn’t want to go in the first place.

The idea of being stuck in a car for almost three hours with your crush didn’t sound appealing. Not that you mind being with him, you actually love his company, love talking to him about all kinds of things, love his face when he smiles, or how his eyes are soft whenever he looks at you. You love how his mustache is dark while the rest of his beard - and hair - keeps getting whiter. But you still didn’t want to, because of what happened the week before.

Despite being cold outside, the sky was clear blue and the sun was out. You love this exact kind of weather, and ever since you found out about the roof, you enjoy going up for a break, taking some deep breaths, having a smoke and just appreciate the quiet. And that was exactly what you did. Smelling the nice scent coming from the bakery down the street, a cigarette in hand, you relaxed. You even took a couple of pictures of this nice view.

“You know,” you jumped for a second at the sound of his voice straddling you. He chuckled at your reaction. “Ever since I joined, I’ve been wondering where your secret smoking spot is.” He got closer to the ledge, taking in the view. You tried not to stare too much.

“Did you follow me here, Parker?” You puffed on your cigarette.

“Just a little at the time. Nice spot. But the cigarette—“

“I know, I don’t need the lecture. I’m not a heavy smoker, you know.” You stayed a few steps away from him, not wanting to overwhelm him with the bad smell of nicotine.

“Just when you’re overwhelmed or want to relax.”

You didn’t know what to think about the fact that he noticed all of this. And was intrigued enough that he found your secret spot. You felt all giddy, but buried it deep inside you.

“After sex, too.” As soon as it left your lips, you regretted it. Where was this coming from? Technically, it is true, you enjoy a smoke after sex, but it wasn’t something Alden Parker needed to know. You felt so horrified that you stopped looking at the man and just focused on the view and your cigarette that was coming to an end. You would probably need another one. “I shouldn’t have said that.” You managed to say.

“Yeah,” he agreed and you felt even worse. “Look, I’m not going to tell you how bad it is for you, cause I know how annoying that is—I’ve been there.” You looked at him, forgetting your embarrassment for a second. “Just that if and when you decide to try to stop, I’ll be happy to help.”

“H—how did you stop?”

“That’s actually one of the good things that came out of my marriage with Vivian. She really wanted me to stop, so we came to an agreement that everytime I needed to smoke, I’d reach out to her. I’d call if we weren’t together, or just tell her if we were, and she’d do her best to take my mind off it.”

“And it really worked?”

“After a while, yeah. It did. But also because I wanted to stop. If you don’t have that in the first place, no matter what you do, it won’t work.”

“I’ll— think about it. Thank you for offering your help.”

Your cigarette was long gone, and you put the bottom away in a little ashtray you hid.

“We’re a team.” He smiled at you. That damn smile that makes you want to reach for him and kiss him until you can’t breathe.

You went back to the bullpen together. “I do miss a good cigarette after sex though.” He just said before you left the roof.

Maybe you spent the entire week overthinking this. He obviously didn’t mind what you said, but you still felt horrified by it. Why would you say something like that to him? Clearly, he knew what that feeling was like, but it still wasn’t worth mentioning. He did agree when you said you shouldn’t have said it though. Did it make him uncomfortable? He probably doesn’t want to know anything about his coworkers sex life.

Not that you had any lately.

When you finally reached a hotel, you thought it would be it. You couldn’t wait to get into your room, lay down and relax. Probably go back down later to smoke. The ride itself wasn’t bad at all. Alden was his usual self, you two talked about many stuff in the car, some were work related and some weren’t. At some point, it felt like he was trying to know you better than he already did. After all, you’ve been working together for just a year, and it’s not like you two spend a lot of alone time together.

“I’m sorry we’re booked.” The receptionist started to say, and you sighed heavily. “Lots of people decided to stop when they announced the storm coming up. All we have left is a suite.” You and Alden looked at each other.

“It’s either that or the car.” He said.

“Fine. But accounting better not give us hell for that.”

“Is this a work trip?” The lady asked, surprising both of you.

“Yeah, why?” Alden asked.

“Because that suite—only has one bed.”

“Fuck me.” You muttered a bit too loud. But Alden agreed for the room.

“We’re adults.” He said in the elevator. “We’ll build a pillow wall if it makes you feel better.”

“Sure. Adults and pillow walls really fit together.” You rolled your eyes. Alden chuckled.

“Have you ever slept in the same bed as a friend or something?”

“Yeah, of course. But it’s different.”

The elevator’s doors opened and Alden walked out first. “If it really grosses you out to share a bed with me, I’ll sleep on the floor, Y/N.”

You usually love when he says your name, but not this time. You could tell by his tone that you upset him. Hurt him, maybe? But wasn’t it better that he thought something like that than know the truth? That you didn’t want to share a bed because you were scared of what it may do to you. You followed him into the suite. It was very beautiful, spacious, and kinda—romantic. Not helping.

“That’s not what I meant, Alden.” He put his backpack down.

“I saw a little store down the street, I’m gonna go buy a few things.” He walked past you to reach for the door again. “Do you need anything?” He still asked.

“A pack of cigarettes?” You heard his quiet growl.

“I was thinking more like some food? Hygiene products? PJs?”

���Do you really think they are selling PJs in that mini store?”

“I’m hoping. Sleeping on the floor is one thing, but sleeping on the floor in my suit? I’d rather not.”

“You’re not sleeping on the floor.” You told him.

“Are you?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah right.”

You knew he wanted to ask you why it was different with him. Why did you seem so repulsed by the idea of sharing a bed?

“I’ve got everything I need, thanks.”

Alden nodded and left.

This would be alright, yes? It was just one night. The bed was big enough for you two, you wouldn’t need a pillow wall. You just hoped his scent wouldn’t drive you crazy, that his body heat wouldn’t warm your insides.

While Alden was gone, you called McGee to give them updates - not that you had much - and listen to theirs. You exchanged a few theories about the case. And finally told him that you’ve found a hotel to spend the night. “Where’s Parker?”

“He needed a few things for a store downstairs. How are the roads in DC?”

“Not too bad yet, but we’re all heading back home before we have to sleep in the office.”

“Lucky you.”

“Be safe and stay warm.”

“Not too warm though.” You overheard Nick. The team knew about your crush on Alden. They all figured you out little by little.

“Tell him he’s a dead man.”

“She’s going to kill you.” Tim said to Nick, laughing.

“Love you too!” Nick shouted.

You were still working on your computer when Alden came back from his little trip. You immediately noticed the snow all over his dark coat, his hair was wet, and he looked absolutely frozen. “It’s getting bad.” You stood up to take a quick look through the window. Everything was covered in snow and the night was dropping. “The store owner told me that a neighborhood close by lost power. We may be next.”

“Wonderful.”

As Alden took his coat and jacket off, you went to grab a towel from the bathroom and offered it to him. “For your hair.”

“Thank you.” He dried off his hair, and sat on bed to take off his wet socks. He looked at you puzzled when you extended your hand.

“It’s just socks. They need to dry.”

You disappeared in the bathroom to put them on the tower heater, while it still worked. When you came back, Alden was sitting on the bed in his white undershirt, his belt was unbuckled. You forced yourself not to stare. “We can eat downstairs but I don’t feel like moving just yet. You can if you want to be alone.”

“Not hungry for now. You should take a shower while there’s still hot water, that’ll warm you up. I put a towel on the heater.”

You could feel his eyes on you even though you had your back turned to him. “Thank you.” And he was gone to the bathroom.

This was going to be alright.

You took a look in the bags he brought back. Was this considered sneaking? He didn’t say anything about it being private, and you could see a bag of chips on top anyways. And you found mostly snacks, a bag of your favorites. There was your favorite kind of tea, and some coffee powder. And obviously, a box of pastries. You smiled at that. If Alden doesn’t find his way to pastries, pastries will find their way to him.

Then you grabbed the hotel menu, looking at what could interest you. Unlike you told Alden, you were hungry, you just didn’t want to eat alone. And you wanted to make up to him for hurting his feelings earlier.

He came back from the bathroom, wearing some night shorts, his white t-shirt and a black zipper on top. His hair was still a little wet, and messy. You’ve never seen his beautiful hair like this and you loved it even more. Alden looked so casual, and cozy, you realized this was what it’d be like to date the man. This could be one of your daily views, if only— if only.

You were on the bed, scrolling on your phone, your legs under the blanket as it was getting a bit colder. “You should go too.” He told you, and you agreed. Walking past him as he smelled fresh from the shower turned your upside down. You hurried to the bathroom and locked up. A cold shower was more needed than a hot one. You almost gave up to your urges in the shower and touched yourself, but your embarrassment afterwards would be written all over your face, and Alden could read you very easily.

You needed to smoke.

“You were looking at the menu. Do you want to order something?”

“Do you?”

You definitely noticed how Alden looked at you from head to toes, even though there was nothing to see. You were wearing an oversized hoodie that you always have with you during winter, and your work pants. “I don’t have shorts like yours or anything similar.” You answered his silent question.

“Get under the blanket and take them off. I’m staying here for now anyway.”

You did as told, because you honestly wanted those pants off. Alden stayed seated at the little table. “So, food?”

“The grilled cheese sounds good.”

“Drink? I got you some tea for later, but you already saw that.”

It was the first time since you got the room that you and Alden actually looked at each other. You could tell he was teasing you for looking into the bags, so you smiled. “My favorite. Thank you by the way.”

You gave Alden your full order and he called the reception, who informed him about the heating system issue. The room temperature was clearly dropping. You pulled on your sleeves to cover your hands, and put the hood on. “We can get an extra blanket, or hang out around their chimney.”

“I’d rather stay here for now. And get your ass under the blanket too.”

“I’m good.”

“For the love of god, Alden! I’m not grossed out by the idea of sharing a bed with you! Or anything like that for that matter.”

“No, I know. I get it. I’m your team leader, I’m quite older than you. It’s not very comfortable, like sleeping with your weird uncle or something.”

You laughed, but Alden looked serious.

“You’re definitely not the weird uncle.”

“Yeah, tell that to my nieces and nephews.”

“I’d rather trust Eli.” You smiled and he returned it. You and the team learned about Alden’s godson only recently. You’ve met his former FBI partner, Jeremy, who talked about his son Eli, and how much he loved his godfather. You had no doubt believing that Alden was a loving godfather, who took his role very seriously. And you loved that about him. “Get under the blanket, Parker.” You said again, and this time he did. He stayed very much on his side though, a huge gap between your body and his. “Plug your phone before the power goes out.” He said, plugging his own.

As you left the bed to grab your phone charger - and computer - you forgot that you had no pants on. It didn’t even occur to you when you slightly bent over to get it from your bag. It was only when you walked back to the bed, and saw how red Alden’s cheeks were that you realized. You basically jumped under the blanket, mortified. “I’m sorry! I completely forgot—sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He cleared his throat. “No worries.”

“Let’s agree that if either of us does something that makes the other uncomfortable, we can just say it. Yeah?”

“Deal.”

How could you look him in the eyes now?

Both of you on your side of the bed, focusing on your phones, the room became totally quiet. You didn’t know what was more uncomfortable, the fact that you just saw your panties, and that you’re both so ill at ease, you can’t even talk, creating this awful atmosphere.

Finally, your order came in. You obviously decided to eat on the bed, the blanket covering you as much as possible. “I can put up something on my laptop if you want.” You offered.

“Yeah, why not.”

You gave him a few options as he settled the food.

“What’s Supernatural?”

“Seriously? Dean and Sam Winchester, chasing demons and all kinds of creatures?”

“That sounds—“

“Like what we’re watching. Sit.”

And you did just that. Eat dinner in bed, covered by a comfy blanket, watching the first episode of Supernatural… with your team leader. Your crush. The guy who’s much older than you.

You didn’t know who was the most surprised by how Alden got into it. He was asking you a bunch of questions, some that you couldn’t answer without spoiling. “Just because it’s not that bad, doesn’t mean I’ll binge the whole thing. Don’t care about the spoilers.”

“I do. So, if you want to know what killed the boys’ mom, just watch it.”

Alden was leaning against the headboard, an arm behind his head. He looked even more cozy than he did earlier. You could so easily lay down on his chest, and cuddle as you watch the show. “Maybe I should go down and get that extra blanket.” He said at the end of the episode.

“I will go. I’m gonna smoke.”

“I didn’t buy you a pack.”

“Always have a few with me. Do you think you can avoid freezing to death for ten minutes?”

“You’re the one going outside. Wouldn’t you prefer to stay warm here and talk to me?” He offered. How he managed to stop smoking. “We can watch another ep, if you want.”

“You’re hooked.” You grinned.

Alden turned on his side, leaning a little closer to you. “Well it’s always nice to know how to defend myself if I ever encounter a demon.”

“Or a vampire, or a werewolf, or a rougarou.”

“What the hell is a rougarou?” He laughed.

“Binge. The. Show.” At every word, you got closer to Alden. So close your forehead almost brushed his. A little more and you could’ve kissed the man. And it obviously took both of you by surprise.

“I’ll go get the blanket. Be back in a few.” He was gone before you could say anything.

By the time he came back, you had cleared the bed from the plates and food, made sure that there were no crumbs or anything in the sheets, put his water bottle on his nightstand, and waited. The extra blanket looked fluffy and pretty warm, and Alden couldn’t wait to get under. “It’s freezing in those damn hallways.”

You grabbed the blanket from his arms and set it just right on the bed. You took your computer, settling it between your hips and Alden’s, maybe it acted as a barrier. “You’re cold.” You could feel his coldness despite the gap.

“You think?” His vest was close up to the top, and he put his hood on just like you. Without thinking further, you reached out for one of his hands. It was frozen.

“Gimme the other one.” Puzzled, he gave you his hands. You put them in the big pocket of your sweater, and covered them with yours. His hands were much bigger than yours but you didn’t care. You moved your fingers on his skin, putting a bit of pressure to get the blood flooding properly.

“Do you have another pocket for my feet?” He asked as you felt his legs getting closer.

“I swear if you put your cold feet on my legs, I’ll scream.”

In the pocket where the four hands were, you didn’t know who was trying to warm who. They were mixed together, you could feel his fingers moving against your palm and wrist. Alden chuckled, his legs got even closer.

“Parker, I have a gun.”

“So do I. And I’m a better shooter.”

“We’re 1 to 1, so no, you are not.”

You and Alden went to the shooting range a couple of times. It started with a little teasing about your aim after a case, and it turned into a competition. Whoever wins the next round has to invite the other for dinner. His idea.

Did it mean something?

“When this case is over, we’re doing the last round. I can’t wait for my free dinner.”

“Be careful. I could take you to the worst and cheapest restaurant ever.”

“In that case—“

Before you knew it, Alden’s legs were intertwined with yours. His feet were pressed against your calves, and your body got much closer to his. You let out a small scream of surprise before trying to fight him off. But his hands had left your pocket to lock you down. To be honest, with your training, you could get out of his hold but he wanted to play, so you were going to indulge. He was holding you so tight that your hands were stuck in your pocket. You tried to sneak your way out, until you both heard a thump. “Was that my laptop?” You asked.

“Uh-huh.”

“If it’s broken, you’ll explain to accounting why I need a new one.” You lifted your head to look at him. “Shouldn’t be too hard for you.”

“Why’s that?”

“According to the rumors, you dated—“

“Come on. Don’t tell me you believe those rumors?”

“Well, they are around your age, some are single. And Kathy is very beautiful.”

You felt his hold loosen a little but honestly, you didn’t want him to let go of you. You wanted to stay there for as long as possible. He smelled so good, his body felt perfect against yours. Being this close to him felt—right.

“Mmm… that’s true, she is. Do you think I have a chance with her?”

You forced yourself to smile. “Of course you do. You’re clever, handsome, sweet, funny, passionate. And you have the best head of hair ever.”

He laughed at that. From where you were, you saw his throat bobbing. His Adam’s apple was so close, all you wanted was to kiss it. His laugh was the best sound you’ve heard, and it was even better when you were the reason he was laughing.

“I figured you loved my hair when a month after I joined the team, you accidentally touched it.”

“It was an accident, Alden! I was reaching for the file and your head was on the way!”

“Sure it was. I have such a big head.”

“Aldeeeen!” You whined and somehow your face buried itself in his neck. “I swear I didn’t—“

“I’m just teasing you.” He chuckled.

Realizing that you were basically cuddling the man, you were ready to move away and get some much needed distance. Especially that Alden’s released the last bit of pressure they had on you. But before you could move even just a little, his arms closed again. This time, he wasn’t locking you down. He was hugging you. Cuddling you.

“We should stay like this if we don’t want to freeze to death. Unless it makes you uncomfortable—“

“I’m good.” You immediately said. You didn’t want to move. Not now, not ever. “You’re lucky your feet are warm now.”

“Thanks to you.”

After a long moment and an internal debat, you moved your arms to hold him back. You felt his body relaxing entirely, and yours did the same. And you stayed like long enough that you both fell asleep.

Three hours later, you woke up. You and Alden were practically in the same position, except that he rolled a bit of his back, and one of his hands was dangerously close to your butt.

Your skin was damped. You were hot and sweating. Pulling the blankets just a little, you realized that the room wasn’t cold anymore. As slowly and quietly as possible, you moved out of Alden’s arms and left the bed. The heater was working very well, your hoodie wasn’t needed anymore so you got rid of it, as well as your socks. You were now in a tank top and panties, but couldn’t bring yourself to care. Especially not after what happened earlier.

You removed the extra blanket as gently as you could so Alden wouldn’t wake up. Then, you crawled back in bed, stared at his beautiful and peaceful face before slowly opening the zipper of his vest. You were halfway through it when his body moved and you felt his eyes on you. “The heating system got fixed. You should take it off.”

“You were doing a great job.” He sleepily said. You opened the vest entirely, and tried to remove it from one of his arms.

“A little help, Alden?”

Half asleep, he sat up and put his arms in the air like a toddler wanting to be undressed. You quietly laughed and undressed him, almost straddling his lap. It surprised you when he got rid of his t-shirt too before laying back down, taking you with him.

Alden was shirtless. You could feel him, you could touch his chest if you were bold enough. You wanted to turn on the lights and see his body, admire it, imprint in your brain forever. You were about to relax and just enjoy this moment, but it was when he let go of you and practically turned on the other side. “Oh” left your lips as it surprised you, confused you and kinda hurt you.

“Male body reaction.” You heard him say. “It’s better I stay on my side.”

It took you a couple of seconds to understand. “What if I don’t want you to stay on your side?” You whispered and moved closer. You didn’t know what had gotten into you at this moment. Maybe you were going to die of embarrassment, maybe you’d have to quit your job in the morning. Or maybe—

You were now spooning Alden. “Remember our agreement? If one of us does something that makes the other un—“

“Yeah.” He cut you off.

Slowly, you ran your hand from bare back to his chest. He started to breathe heavily. You loved the hair that was there. You touched his pecs, his tummy, making him growl, and reached the waistband of his shorts. You softly kissed his shoulder and Alden melted. His hand went up and down your forearm that was around him. “I need you to agree to this, Alden.” You whispered into his ear, “Don’t want to take advantage of sleepy you.” You planted a kiss under his ear.

“I’m very much awake, sweetheart.” His head leaned back into you. “You can do anything to me.”

When was the last time someone took care of this man?

Your hand finally got into his shorts. You had barely touched his length that he moaned. When your hand wrapped around his cock, you didn’t expect it to be this thick. You got even wetter than you already were. You collected his pre cum on the tip, and used it to start stroking. “Fuck!” He growled deeply. He completely leaned into you, his hand reaching for your hair, neck, face. He was needy and you loved it. You freed his cock from the shorts and stroked him slowly, putting just enough pressure. You kissed his cheek, nipped his ear. You were able to move your other arm under his head, which allowed him to touch his chest. Between the noises he was making, you could tell he wanted to talk, he wanted to say something but everything died on his tongue. “Kiss me.” Was all he could say as he turned his face and you did. All teeth and tongue, all needy and desperate. Alden was now on his back, his hips moving. You weren’t sure if you were giving him a handjob or if he was fucking your hand. That you cared.

“I’m gonna—“ he choked and growled.

You kissed his cheek and whispered to his ear again. “Cum for me, Alden. I’ve got you.” A few more sloppy strokes and he was coming all over his stomach, your name dying on his lips along curse words, his fist holding onto your hair for dear life - it stung a little but you loved it.

You watched him coming down from his high, playing with his hair. His chest was rising and falling rapidly as he was catching his breath. The post orgasm bliss on his face. You kissed his cheek, “I’ll go get a towel.”

When you came back, Alden had turned the nightstand light on, and he looked absolutely perfect. Naked, satisfied, relaxed… the best version of Alden Parker you’ve ever seen until now.

He tried to reach for the towel but you slapped his hand away, and cleaned the sticky mess on his stomach. As soon as you were done, Alden grabbed you and pinned you on the bed, his body covering yours. “I think we can say that our platonic work relationship is ruined.” His eyes moved from your eyes to your lips.

“How terrible.” You grinned and he kissed you. You’ve been in control so far, but you knew at this moment that he was taking over.

“I’m not sure how I got you to be interested in me, but I’ll take it.” He lifted your tank top a little and went down to kiss your stomach.

“You’re the only one who didn’t know I’ve had a crush on you for months.” Your body shivered under his touch.

“I may have noticed a few things—“ he took your top off of you and admired your breasts before touching them, kissing them, playing with your nipples. “But it seemed impossible.” He kept touching your tits as he got back up to kiss you. You buried your hands in his hair, and wrapped your legs around his waist.

“Why? Because you’re older?”

“For starters.” He kissed you one more time before getting on his knees. He slowly took off your panties while staring deep in your eyes.

“I don’t give a fuck about your age.” He looked at your panties, smelled them before throwing them away. You practically moaned at his actions.

“You should, babydoll.”

He settled between your legs, kissed your inner thigh, bit a little, and gently touched your pussy, looking at it so hungrily.

“Well if you don’t fuck me properly, I just might.” You teased, trying not to lose your mind over having him down there.

“As much as I want to, I’m not going to fuck you tonight, unless you got a condom hidden in your bag.”

“For fuck sakes!” You shouted.

“Sorry, doll. But I’m going to make you cum.”

And he finally dived in. He inhaled your scent deeply, before putting his month where you needed him the most. Alden knew what to do, when to do it. He ate you like a starving man. Making you moan loudly. You felt his index finger penetrating you, and another finger as his month kept playing with your clit. It didn’t take long before that amazing and familiar feeling appeared. One of your hands was in his hair, while he was holding the other with his free hand. Your legs around his neck could’ve suffocated him but you didn’t care and neither did he.

“I want to taste all of you, doll. Cum with my mouth.” He encouraged you. “I’ve got you.” He repeated your words. And you didn’t need more.

After cleaning you with the towel, Alden held you as you were catching your breath. Kissing your hair, he gently stroked your back. You both enjoyed this moment, this position, this tenderness. You didn’t know what tomorrow would be like, or even what this all meant.

Neither of you dared to ask.

[television-overload]

Done! *passes out*

White Christmas

NCIS Christmas 2023 fic

Read on AO3

Summary: For Christmas 2023, the NCIS family makes their way to Alaska to celebrate all together for the first time in years.

WC: 7,963

Rating: G

-.-.-

"Daddy, Daddy! I can see the glaciers!” Tali announced excitedly, her face pressed up against the small airplane window.

Tony DiNozzo smiled and peeked over her head of wavy brown hair to catch a glimpse of the snow-covered Alaskan wilderness below. “You remember what you learned about glaciers in school?” he prompted.

“Uh-huh! They’re like frozen rivers that move down the mountains!”

“Something like that,” Tony chuckled. “You’d better sit down and buckle up, Tals, we’ll be landing soon.”

The nine-year-old obeyed, sitting back in her seat where her legs didn’t quite touch the ground—though the way she’d been growing lately, it wouldn’t be long.

“Can I have your phone to take pictures?” Tali asked once she was properly buckled, the seatbelt tightened by her father until he deemed it sufficient.

With an exaggerated sigh, Tony fished the device out of his back pocket and handed it over. “Don’t take too many, we need to save some space for pictures of all the other cool stuff we see.”

With his daughter occupied, Tony turned his attention to the woman sitting in the aisle seat beside him.

“Hey, you doing alright?” he asked in a low voice, placing a hand on her knee.

She had been shifting uncomfortably for the last hour or so of their flight, unable to get positioned in a way that took the pressure off her back. They had broken up their journey from Paris with a day’s respite in New York City, where they were able to catch up with some of Tony’s extended family. Tali, in particular, loved seeing the sights and stuffing her face with giant slices of pizza. But still, it put a lot of strain on Ziva’s body.

“I am starting to rethink what a good idea it was to travel so extensively while pregnant,” she spoke with a grimace, rubbing her rounded belly in comforting circles.

Tony hummed in sympathy, his fingers finding her lower back and massaging there as best as he could in such a confined space. She sighed in relief, her head falling against his shoulder and her eyes drooping shut.

“In our defense, when we planned this trip, we didn’t know you’d be five months pregnant,” he said softly with a teasing lilt to his voice.

It was true. They had almost given up on the prospect of having another child, promising that if it didn’t happen before Tali turned ten, they would stop trying. But finally, after years of negative tests, they got their positive, and Tony and Ziva were overjoyed. Tali, too, was looking forward to having a sibling. The high pitched squeal she had emitted when they first broke the news proved to them that she would be the best big sister a kid could ask for, and she had slept with a copy of the ultrasound in a frame beside her bed ever since.

But when they first started planning this trip almost a year ago, they had not planned on an additional passenger in utero, which definitely complicated things a little. After Gibbs visited them in Paris for the holidays the year prior, they knew they wanted to be with family. That had been the first time they’d seen him since Ziva had finally been reunited with Tony and Tali, and there was a lot of joy to go around. Tali had taken to calling him Grampa Gibbs, and in almost no time at all, they were like two peas in a pod.

“I can’t wait to see everyone,” Ziva murmured, a small smile pulling at her lips. “I hear Jimmy is bringing his girlfriend.”

“Agent Knight,” Tony said, remembering hearing about her from McGee on their weekly phone calls. “It will be nice to finally meet her. From what I hear, she's been good for him.”

Although the shape of their makeshift family had changed a lot over the years, love was still at the heart of it, that was the only thing that mattered. It broke their hearts to hear of the loss of Breena Palmer. It wasn't fair. As much as Tony had gone through since leaving NCIS, at least the end result was a happily-ever-after with Ziva. Jimmy wasn't so lucky. But the consensus was that this Jessica Knight was a great match for Jimmy, and Victoria apparently liked her too.

After a few more minutes, a voice came over the speaker instructing passengers to take their seats for landing, and Tony pressed a kiss to Ziva’s temple.

“You hear that?” he said, his lips brushing against her hair, “Only a little bit longer, hon.”

-.-.-

“I can’t see him!” Tali screeched far too loudly for a public place, while Ziva tried to wrestle her mussed-up hair into something presentable. She stood on her tippy toes, trying to look out through the crowd at the pickup lane outside, craning her neck for any sight of him.

“Tali, hold still,” Ziva said, brushing through the tangles, “He is not here yet, we only landed a few minutes ago. Your father is still getting the luggage.”

Tali squirmed, but luckily Ziva was finishing up with her hair, so soon she would be let loose.

“What kind of car do you think he drives?” she asked excitedly.

“I don’t know, probably something with big snow tires to get through all this snow,” Ziva answered.

Just then, Tony strolled up, dragging a cart stacked high with suitcases along with him.

“He here yet?” he asked.

Ziva let out an exasperated sigh.

“You and your daughter,” she said, shaking her head. “She just asked me the same thing.”

Tony lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “What can I say? Impatience must be genetic.”

Of course, in actuality, Tony was one of the most patient people to ever walk the earth, and Tali too. But in things like this—well, it was a good thing Tali’s birthday was in the summer. If she had to wait almost a whole year to open presents, she’d probably explode.

Through the glass doors, a dark pickup truck rolled its front window down and honked twice, drawing the DiNozzo family’s attention.

“There he is!” Tali squealed triumphantly, bounding out the doors to the waiting vehicle ahead of her parents.

“Tali, wait for us!” Ziva tried, before giving up and simply following behind, weighed down by their carry-ons, brush still in hand.

By the time she and Tony stepped out into the freezing weather, Tali was already leaping into the waiting arms of their old boss with a shout of “Grampa Gibbs!” He folded her into his embrace, murmuring his own welcome to her in that conspiratorial, hushed tone that only existed between a grandfather and his granddaughter.

Bringing the luggage trolley to a halt on the curb next to the truck, Tony wiped his palms against his pants before reaching out to shake Gibbs’ hand.

“Thanks for coming to pick us up,” he said, smiling as the older man pulled him in for a one-armed hug and pat on the back.

“That’s what family’s for.” He released his former senior field agent and turned to Ziva, who had finally set down the bags she was carrying. “Ziver.”

“Hello, Gibbs,” Ziva said, beaming at this man she saw as her father as he wrapped his arms around her. While her pregnancy wasn’t noticeable to the eye under the many layers of sweaters and coats she was wearing, it was unmistakable to the touch.

Just as she expected, Gibbs placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled back, his raised eyebrow contributing to the knowing look he sent her way.

“Surprise!” Tony said, looking as proud as could be. “We would have told you on our last call, but decided to save it. What do you think?”

The answering smile was so free and easy, it just showed how much Gibbs had benefited from his new life here in Alaska.

“I’m happy for you guys,” Gibbs said, “you deserve it.”

They stood for a moment longer, just enjoying being in each other’s presence again, before the car behind them honked impatiently.

“Well, hurry up, daylight won’t last much longer,” Gibbs said, grabbing the first of their bags and tossing it into the bed of the truck. “Everyone is waiting for you back at home.”

“It’s cold,” Tali said, her cheeks already pink despite the puffy, fur lined coat and thick woolen mittens she wore.

Gibbs chuckled, handing Tony the next bag.

“Then you’d better get in before you turn into an icicle,” he said, tipping his head in the direction of the truck. With a toothy grin copied and pasted from her father, she bounded up to the open door and hoisted herself into the backseat with her mother’s help, and the two climbed into the vehicle.

-.-.-

The drive from the airport in Fairbanks to Gibbs’ place in an area known as Two Rivers took only about 30 minutes. The entire ride, Tali chattered away about the baby, and the big house out in the French countryside they were thinking of moving to. It looked like Gibbs’ lips were stuck in a permanent contented smile, and just as he had done many times for Tony and Ziva, he did what he did best: listened.

As they passed the occasional display of Christmas lights, Ziva would tap Tali’s shoulder to draw her attention, pointing out the window so she could see. Even though it was only two o’clock in the afternoon, it was already getting dark, a phenomenon that Tony did his best to explain scientifically, giving up when it became clear that he was only confusing Tali more. Gibbs couldn’t help but chuckle at his expense. Little Johnny and Morgan McGee could probably explain it better than he could, but he kept that thought to himself.

At last, they pulled into a long driveway, recently plowed to clear it of snow. As they rounded the curve, the moderately-sized cabin came into view from behind the tall evergreen trees, its warmly-lit windows and snow-covered roof a vision of a picturesque Christmas.

Tony climbed out of the cab first, promptly opening the door behind him to help his pregnant wife out of the vehicle. On the other side of the truck, Tali jumped into Gibbs’ arms with a squeal of glee, and was carefully lowered to the ground.

While they stood gathering their things, they heard the front door open with a creak and snick shut, the motion-activated porch light illuminating with a glow.

“Look who the blizzard blew in,” came the voice of Timothy McGee. Tony turned in the direction of the sound and saw his best friend standing on the porch with a huge grin on his face. McGee immediately shoved his hands in his coat pockets and trotted down the front steps, quickly crossing the short distance to the new arrivals. Not a moment passed before he was enveloping Tony in a hug, patting him on the back to convey just how good it was to see him again.

“It's so good to see you all!” McGee spoke. “How was your flight?”

Tony shared a look with Ziva, and responded. “Better for some of us than others,” he said as he wrapped an arm around Ziva’s shoulders. McGee wasted no time in greeting her with a one-armed hug of his own, careful of the bags she was carrying.

“I saw a glacier!” Tali said excitedly, her arms wrapped around her stuffed dog Kelev.

McGee crouched down so he was on her level, his mouth widened in a smile. “I bet you did. Pretty cool, huh?”

Tali nodded emphatically, and Tim stood back to his full height, walking around to the back of the pickup where Gibbs was standing.

“Come on, let’s get you guys out of this cold,” he said, lending a hand by taking one of their suitcases with him. “The snow’s supposed to pick up in the next few hours. Should be quite a sight.”

They followed behind, carrying all their luggage with them as they approached the rustic-style house. McGee pulled the suitcase he was carrying up a wooden ramp, its wheels gliding smoothly up the incline to the porch.

“Gibbs built this for Delilah,” McGee explained proudly, glancing back at Tony and Ziva. “Got the slope of it right and everything, isn’t that great?”

Tony and Ziva joined in the praise, though it surprised no one that Gibbs had done his due diligence to make everything just right for his guests. Despite the snow, it looked like he’d done the work to make his place accessible for McGee’s wheelchair-using wife, and the craftsmanship was exactly what they’d come to expect from Gibbs’ woodworking projects. It blended seamlessly into the rest of the timber exterior, almost as if it had always been there.

“They’re here!” McGee called out as he pushed the door open with his foot, hefting the bag into the entryway.

Excited shrieks and rapidly approaching footsteps precluded the arrival of little Johnny and Morgan, who energetically hopped up and down right in front of the door, preventing the others from entering.

“Hey, hey—yes, I know we’re excited to see everyone, but—Johnny—Morg—"

“If your name is McGee and you are standing within 5 feet of the door, you need to back away right now and give everyone space,” Delilah spoke in a firm, warning tone as she wheeled into the vaulted entrance hall of the cabin. “Yes, that includes you, Tim,” she added, a glint of amusement betraying the kindness she hid underneath that commanding presence. She always was more effective at getting the twins to fall in line than their father was. As ordered, the two backed up until they were standing against the wall, hardly able to hold still for all the excitement they were feeling.

“Hey!” Tony called out as he entered. “There they are! How old are you now, mini-McGees?”

“SIX!” They answered, and Johnny (after double checking that he had it right) held up six fingers to show his Uncle Tony. Their birthday had been last month, just before Thanksgiving, and they’d spent most of their birthday phone call talking with Tali about all the things they hoped to do and see on their Christmas trip. Now, at last, the time had come. It had been years since the McGees came to visit during the summer holidays, and that was far too long for the little ones to be apart.

Ziva entered next, brushing snowflakes off her coat as she wiped her boots on the welcome mat. Her smile was easy and warm, marked by the introspective awareness of what a blessing this time with family was after everything she had been through. Delilah rolled up beside her and welcomed her with a hug, taking one of her carry-on bags off her hands and setting it in her lap.

“The kids wouldn’t stop talking about seeing Tali again,” she said with fond exasperation. “I hope she’s ready to be smothered by two clingy six-year-olds with a million questions.”

Ziva chuckled and followed Delilah into the house, setting her other bag on a wooden bench in the hallway as she passed. “She has been equally looking forward to it, I’d say,” Ziva answered. “Thankfully we have not yet reached the point where she thinks she is too cool to spend time with her family, though I am certainly not looking forward to that day.”

Delilah waved her hand in disbelief. “Pssh. If any kid could skip that phase, I’m confident it’s her,” she said, shaking her head. “She only just got you back, I’m sure she realizes how fortunate she is to have two parents who love her.”

It was a surprise to Ziva every time how little it hurt to hear things like that, these days. Those years of separation and constant anxiety were now in her past, and she had finally been able to move on. Of course, anxiety wasn’t something that went away for good, but she managed much better now than she had before. And she could talk about what had happened without breaking down, which was a huge step forward. Just another thing to be grateful for.

“TALI!” two twin voices screeched, and when Ziva turned to look at Tony, he had his finger in his ear, wiggling it around as if to test his hearing. She smirked, rolling her eyes a little.

Their daughter had been enveloped by the much shorter McGee twins, just as Delilah had predicted. She could vaguely make out a slew of questions being fired at the eldest child, about their trip to New York, whether she saw any polar bears from the plane, and the stuffed dog she carried. Tali seemed to be taking it in stride, only looking a little overwhelmed at the attention as she tried to make her way further into the house. Tucking Kelev under the crook of her arm, she grabbed Johnny and Morgan’s hands with each of her own, leading them into the next room.

Yes, she would be a good big sister. Ziva smiled as she watched them go off on their own.

“I know what that sound means,” came another voice, as he peeked around the corner into the entryway.

“Hey, Jimbo!” Tony greeted. “I think they broke the sound barrier that time. Probably scared off every wild animal in a 5-mile radius.”

Jimmy Palmer grinned, his eyes crinkling behind his rounded glasses. “Well, can you blame them? I’d be right there with them if it were socially acceptable, I’m so happy you guys could make it!”

Ziva placed a hand on his shoulder and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “We would not want to be anywhere else,” she said truthfully.

Glancing at each of them in turn, Palmer offered, “Can I take your coat? There’s a closet by the back door where the rest of us have ours stashed.”

Ziva sent a questioning glance back at Tony, and he shrugged and gave a tiny nod. It was times like these that their unspoken communication really came in handy.

“Thank you, Jimmy,” Ziva agreed, turning her back to him and allowing him to help her with the thick winter coat. It slipped down her shoulders, and as it did, she watched with great amusement the reactions of each of their friends the moment they noticed her rounded figure.

McGee’s jaw dropped in an awed and excited expression, and he immediately turned to look at his wife, who herself looked rather surprised and pleased.

Ziva turned expectantly to Palmer, who thus far had only seen their reactions and not what caused them.

“What are you—” he began to ask, then his eyes widened in disbelief. “What?! You guys! Finally!” He promptly pulled Ziva into a crushing hug, pulling back to look at her and then to Tony.

He knew how much this meant to his friend, after missing out on this incredible part of his daughter’s life the first time. He’d been something of a confidante to him for years, listening to him over the phone as he lamented all the things he missed as he learned how to be a father. This time, he knew, nothing could keep him from being involved every step of the way. Probably even more than Ziva would like at times, if he had to guess.

“How far along are you? Do you know what you're having?” Jimmy fired away with the questions, and Ziva couldn't help but think this is what she could have had the first time around, if she had chosen differently. A family to share this wonderful news with, and a partner by her side.

“20 weeks,” she answered with a glowing smile. “And–”

She turned to look expectantly at Tony.

“It's a boy,” he announced proudly, looking for all the world happier than he'd ever been. “We found out last week.”

Shouts of congratulations echoed the entryway, and McGee came up to shake his hand, offering him a clap on his back.

“Any thoughts on names?” Delilah asked next.

Ziva nodded, her eyes flicking in the direction of Gibbs before nervously trailing the walls and ceiling. “Actually, we have had one picked out for a while…”

Tony’s arm wrapped around her shoulder, pulling her close.

“Leroy Farragut DiNozzo,” he spoke in a bold voice, waving his hand in an arc in front of him for dramatic effect, which earned a host of politely repressed looks of concern by all their friends.

“Ah, jeez,” Gibbs spoke gruffly, shucking his own coat and hanging it on a nearby coat rack.

McGee, too, looked alarmed. “Oh–that's…”

But before anything else could be said, Tony doubled over laughing, and as much as Ziva tried not to, the corner of her lips quirked up involuntarily at her husband's latest antics. McGee breathed a sigh of relief.

“Okay–okay, I'm kidding, we're not naming him Leroy,” Tony said with a wheeze.

“But,” Ziva said seriously, pulling back on the reins of this conversation, “We are naming him after you, Gibbs.”

The room fell silent, the only sign that Gibbs had heard being the tightening of his jaw and the way his adam’s apple bobbed. He never was an emotional one, their boss. He felt it, but rarely did it show.

“We're calling him A.J.,” Tony began, his voice suddenly thick with emotion.

Ziva nodded. “Anthony Jethro.”

Gibbs didn't hesitate to cross the short distance to Tony and Ziva, wrapping her first into a hug, and then him.

“I'm honored,” he spoke softly, ruffling Tony’s hair before pulling back. “You give me a call when that baby’s born, I want to come meet him.”

“Copy that, boss.”

“Perhaps you can come stay with us,” Ziva said. “We are hoping to have a house outside the city by then.”

Tony's face lit up. “Now there's an idea! NCIS Christmas in France next year, mark your calendars!”

“That sounds absolutely wonderful,” Jimmy said honestly, his eyes alight with joy. “Well, hey, Victoria is in the kitchen with Jess working on some hot cocoa and cider, if you want to come say hi. If you're serious about us coming next year, she'll flip. Vic’s always wanted to see the Eiffel Tower.”

“Well, the details will need to be worked out, but we are very serious,” Ziva spoke, wrapping an arm around Tony’s waist. “And I could use a cup of hot cocoa,” she added, resting her chin on his chest and looking up at him. “Tony?”

“Let's go,” he said. Then louder, “Hey, Tali! Hot cocoa!”

“Where?!” came the answering shout.

“Kitchen. Come on!”

She came running out of the living room at full speed, then proceeded to climb Tony like a tree, whispering something in his ear.

“Yes, you can have marshmallows.”

She grinned.

-.-.-

The kitchen was rustic, but large. Palmer led the way, regaling everyone with the story of the trip he, Jess, and Victoria had taken that morning to stock up on goodies at the only grocer in town. Apparently they had taken Gibbs’ snowmobile, or “snow machine” as they called it here, as it was much faster and probably safer than trying to maneuver a larger vehicle in this terrain.

The result of their labor was all the ingredients for warm drinks, smores, and a hearty Christmas dinner, which everyone was looking forward to.

Jimmy pushed open the door to the kitchen, and inside, Agent Knight turned, a smile on her face as she continued stirring the contents of a steaming pot on the stove. Victoria paused mid-conversation where she sat perched on the counter, her face breaking into a grin at the sight of her friend Tali.

“You're here!” she said excitedly, hopping down from the counter. “Want to come help us? You can put the whipped cream on top!”

Tali looked to her father for permission, then hurried over to Victoria, smiling brightly in return. Not quite a year younger than Tali, the two got along swimmingly. Though, like the rest of their NCIS family, they hadn't spent much time together in person, they kept up via video call as often as they could. Long-distance movie nights had become a regular occurrence–whenever they could get it to work with their different time zones.

“Jess, this is Tony and Ziva,” Jimmy said, standing beside her somewhat awkwardly.

Agent Knight nodded. “Hi! I–uh, I've heard a lot about you!” she spoke, reaching out to shake each of their hands in turn. “I see congratulations are in order,” she added, nodding in Ziva’s direction.

Ziva smiled warmly. “Thank you, it is great to meet you. We've heard good things.”

“How's the cocoa coming along?” Jimmy asked, turning to check on the girls whose faces hovered over the chocolatey concoction, taking turns stirring it.

“Almost ready, Daddy!” Victoria said. She nodded to Tali who held a bag full of mini marshmallows. “Just needs a few finishing touches.”

-.-.-

The cocoa and cider was enjoyed by the entire party, as they gathered around the blazing fireplace in Gibbs’ living room. Those who knew each other enjoyed getting caught up on each other's lives, while new friendships were quickly formed between Jessica and the others.

Agent Torres, Tony learned from Palmer, had unfortunately been unable to come for Christmas, citing some unspecified holiday plans that he was being oddly tight-lipped about. Tim, however, whispered his suspicion that the younger agent may, in fact, know the whereabouts of one Eleanor Bishop, and have gone to meet up with her for the holidays. Tony and Ziva shared a knowing look.

Meanwhile, they'd heard Abby had met up with Ducky in London, spending a nice quiet Christmas with him and some of his extended family in the British Isles. It sounded lovely.

As mugs of cocoa were emptied and marshmallows eaten, the children sprawled out on the floor with an array of board games and cards and a veritable mountain of couch pillows. They got along incredibly well for the most part, which their parents were endlessly thankful for.

With them occupied, Palmer took it upon himself to show Tony and Ziva to their room, assisting them with their luggage up the slightly cramped wooden staircase.

“You'll be up here, in the room next to Jess and I,” he spoke, pushing a heavy oak door open with his shoulder. Inside was a beautiful wooden bedframe that they immediately suspected to be handmade, with a mattress topped in a colorful quilt and matching pillows.

“This is lovely,” Ziva said, surveying the comfortable accommodations.

“Tim and Delilah are downstairs next to the living room, and Gibbs is just next to the kitchen.” Jimmy set their suitcases down in the corner, turning to smile at his two friends. “Get this: Gibbs made bunk beds for the kids. He's got the attic all decked out, I'm talking string lights, shag rugs, and the works. If there's not a blanket fort up there by the end of the week, I'll be shocked.”

Ziva felt tears welling up in the corners of her eyes, courtesy of the pregnancy hormones.

“Would you ever have guessed that one day, our boss would build a dream bedroom for our kid?” Tony asked, reaching out for Ziva's hand and threading his fingers into hers.

Ziva's lip wobbled, and Tony knowingly pulled her into his embrace, rubbing a hand soothingly up and down her back.

“It is pretty incredible, isn't it?” Jimmy agreed, an understanding smile pulling at his lips. “I'll go grab Tali's bag and take it up there. You guys get settled in.”

Tony thanked him, and soon it was just the two of them left breathing in the moment, in awe of all the twists and turns their lives had taken.

-.-.-

The ridiculously early sunset combined with jet-lag meant that the DiNozzos were scarcely able to make it past 19:00. The entire group gathered once more for an easy soup dinner before going their separate ways, either putting their finishing touches on gifts for Christmas day or calling it a night and curling up under warm blankets for some much-needed rest.

“I can't believe she’s still awake,” Ziva mumbled, laying on her side with Tony spooned up behind her.

Up in the attic, loud thumps and high-pitched squealing indicated that none of the children had gone to bed like they had been told to. The last time Tony had popped in to check on them, they had been jumping around into piles of pillows and blankets, and dancing to some music playing on an old radio they'd found, with far too much energy.

His hand splayed across her belly protectively, while he nestled his face into her voluminous hair.

“She's a monster of our own creation,” he murmured back, pulling her tighter. “A night owl like me, and an early bird like you.”

Ziva hummed, too exhausted to laugh.

“If they don't knock it off soon, though, I'm telling them Santa will put coal in their stockings,” Tony added, just as another thud sounded above them.

“They're just having fun,” Ziva said, her voice so soft that she had to be moments away from falling asleep. “S’good for her.”

Tony's lips curled up in a smile. He loved the lazy droll of Ziva's voice when she was half-asleep.

“Yeah,” he agreed. Then, he pressed a kiss to her curl-covered head, and let sleep take him.

-.-.-

Tali's eyes blinked open slowly, only the light from the string lights illuminating the cozy attic hideaway. She rolled over and stretched, cuddling Kelev close before sitting up in the top bunk of the bed. Across from her, Victoria still slept soundly in her flannel pajamas. They had worn themselves out last night playing until Uncle Tim had come to scold them for staying up too late.

Tali inched herself over the edge of the bed and down the ladder, her bare feet cold on the wooden surface. It appeared the twins were still passed out too, and likely would be for a while. She was like her mother, in that way. Always early to rise, although her daddy explained that the baby made Ima sleepier now than she usually was.

As quietly as possible, she pushed open the door at the bottom of the stairs and crept down the hallway, making her way to the first floor.

The sun was still far below the horizon, the sky as dark as ink. Only a few lamps lit the living room, but the smell of bacon and freshly-brewed black coffee wafted from the kitchen, which meant she wasn't the only one awake at the crack of dawn.

She pushed open the swinging door and saw Gibbs seated at the breakfast nook, sipping from an old coffee mug as he read the newspaper.

Tali plopped down across from him at the tableclothed table, wordlessly reaching for a piece of bacon and taking a bite. She leaned her head onto her arm and watched him, her eyes still blinking heavily in the dim light.

After several minutes of comfortable silence, marked only by the flip of a newspaper page or Tali’s munching of bacon, Gibbs asked, “Wanna come help me plow the snow?” His voice was gravelly from disuse, breaking the spell of the stillness of early morning.

Tali's cheeks pulled up in a smile and she nodded, following Gibbs to put on her heavy winter boots and coat over her pajamas.

He led her out to his truck, which was fitted with a plow out front for shoveling snow. “Hop up,” he said, patting his lap once he'd taken his seat in front of the wheel. Tali grinned and climbed up.

“Can I steer?” She asked, glancing back at Grampa Gibbs.

“After I clear the driveway and the road,” he answered, chuckling a little at the young girl's enthusiasm.

He took her around the house, pushing the freshly-fallen snow to the side as they drove. The headlights caused the white-blanketed landscape to sparkle, and it looked almost otherworldly with the mountains in the distance, barely visible. As they passed it, Gibbs pointed out the barn where his dogs lived, promising to bring her there later when it was light out and when her cousins were awake.

True to his word, once he'd cleared a section of the road and the driveway that encircled his house, he let Tali have the wheel while he controlled the pedals, keeping a hand close by in case she started to veer too far one way or the other off the gravel of his driveway. She giggled all the while, focusing intently on doing her job correctly.

“Looks like your old man's awake,” Gibbs said as they pulled back up to the house, catching sight of Tony through the window. He helped Tali down from the truck, setting her in the ankle deep snow. She trudged happily toward the house behind him, stepping only in Gibbs' footsteps for the short walk to the porch.

As they opened the door, her Abba was passing by with a glass of water in hand for Ima.

“Look at you, up an at ‘em,” he said, smirking down at his daughter. “Is Grampa Gibbs putting you to work?”

Tali nodded enthusiastically. “He letted me drive!” she said, earning an impressed look from Tony. 

“Well, in that case maybe you want to bring this up to Ima and give her some snuggles,” he said, handing the glass to Tali. “I'll help Grampa over here with breakfast.”

“Okay!” Tali nodded, and after kicking off her boots, she set off up the wooden staircase.

-.-.-

The occupants of the cabin slowly filtered downstairs, rubbing sleep from their eyes and attempting to smooth their sleep-mussed hair.

Little Johnny's stuck up in all directions as he padded down the steps with his sister in tow.

“Hey, buddy, you sleep well?” McGee asked, setting his cup of coffee down on the table. Johnny climbed onto his father's flannel pajama’d lap and laid his head against his chest, still half asleep.

“She snores,” he mumbled tiredly.

Tim chuckled. “Who does, bud?”

“Tali.”

McGee lifted his eyes knowingly to Tony. “Wonder where she gets that from?” he said, his tone jokingly accusing.

“Hey,” Tony said, raising his hands in surrender, “mine has been up since o' five-hundred, if he didn't sleep well, that's on him.”

“How did Ziva sleep?” Tim asked, making conversation.

“Like a very noisy rock,” Tony answered, “So, the usual.”

Tim smiled and took another sip of coffee, careful not to spill on the sleeping boy on his chest.

-.-.-

Once everyone had devoured a hearty breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and fruit salad, the sun finally began to rise on a lovely Christmas Eve day.

“What are your plans for the day?” Jimmy asked Tony and Tim. “Only a few hours of daylight, I'm sure there's plenty you want to see.”

Tony glanced over at Ziva, who was curled up on the couch with a cup of hot tea, chatting quietly with Tali.

“We were gonna go to these hot springs that are nearby, but Ziva can't go with the baby,” he said. “Chena Hot Springs. You should look it up, sounds like the perfect way to spend an hour or two before the snow starts up again.”

“You sure you don't want to go?” Tim asked, his eyebrows furrowing. “I can stay home and keep her company.”

Tony waved him off. “Nah, that's okay. We're gonna take it easy, she still gets this nauseous feeling sometimes, the doctor says just to rest and stay hydrated.”

“If you're sure…” McGee said. “It does sound really nice. Jimmy?”

“I'm in. Jess had something similar in mind, I think.”

“Daddy?”

The three men turned to see Tali standing in the doorway. She leaned close to Tony, and he instinctively bent down to listen to her.

“Grampa Gibbs said I could go see his puppies,” she whispered.

Tony leaned back to look in her eyes, and gave her a little smile.

“I think that's a great idea,” he said, “I bet Victoria and the twins would like to go too. Why don't you all go get your coats on?”

She ran off, and Tony turned back to the grown-ups.

“I can check in on them every once in a while if you guys want to go.”

McGee and Palmer shared a look, then shrugged.

“Well, I guess it's settled,” Jimmy said.

Tim nodded. “My dad always said never to look a gift horse in the mouth, whatever that means.”

Tony chuckled, pushing his two friends through the doorway. “It means it's time for you two to go get your ladies and get your butts into nature's hot tub.”

“Alright, alright,” Tim laughed. “Thanks, Tony. I owe you one.”

-.-.-

By the time the two couples had left for the hot springs and the children were bundled up for their adventure with Gibbs, Ziva had fallen asleep curled up on the couch in front of the fireplace.

Tony stopped in front of her and knelt down, setting the mug she still held on the side table. He traced a finger over her cheekbone, brushing back a stray strand of hair over her ear.

“Ziva,” he whispered, gently jostling her hand with his own.

“Hmm?”

“You wanna nap upstairs?”

Her eyes opened a crack and worked on focusing on the man in front of her.

“Where is everyone?” she asked, sitting up just a little. 

“Out making the most of the daylight,” he answered with a small smile.

“I'm sorry.”

She tried to sit up again but he stopped her with a soft touch on her shoulder.

“Hey, no, it's okay. I just wanna spend time with you. When's the last time we had an afternoon to ourselves? No Tali, no baby–” he leaned forward, placing a hand on her rounded belly, eyebrows raised. “–yet.”

She smiled a sleepy smile, covering his hand with one of her own.

“We could watch a movie,” she offered, shifting her feet to make space for him beside her.

“Now you're talking,” he said, flashing that trademark grin she'd fallen in love with so many years ago. 

He scooted onto the couch and pulled her to his side, pressing a kiss to her cheek as he did.

“I love you,” he spoke.

“I love you too.”

-.-.-

“It tickles!” Morgan giggled, the puppy in her arms licking her face relentlessly. Tali set down the one she was holding and picked up another from the bed of straw they had been sleeping in.

They stayed pretty warm in the barn they lived in, insulated by straw and plenty of blankets. Plus, these Alaskan huskies had more than enough thick fur to keep them comfortable through the winter. This was what they were built for, after all, and Gibbs loved looking after them.

“Sled's almost ready,” he spoke, busy tying up a series of ropes. He set the excess equipment aside on his workbench, where his woodworking tools were laid out. The fully grown team of dogs barked and jumped excitedly as they were attached individually to the sled. 

Gibbs opened the large main doors of the barn, propping them open with heavy bricks before returning to the kids.

Grandkids.

He'd thought his shot at having any of those was gone with Kelly. How wrong he had been.

“Alright, hop on, all of you sit in the front.”

Morgan gave the puppy she was holding a kiss on the forehead, then set it down to join her brother and friends with Gibbs.

“Can I stand in the back with you?” Tali asked, giving him her best puppy-dog eyes.

“Fine,” he acquiesced, “you gotta hold on tight, though, you hear me?”

“Uh-huh!” 

Her little hands gripped the handlebar at the back of the sled, and Gibbs stepped on behind her, grabbing ahold of the reins.

With a simple command, the dogs took off over the snow. The kids squealed with glee, the cold wind blowing in their faces as the team of dogs happily pulled them along around the house and the perimeter of Gibbs’ property. 

“Go, go, go!” Johnny cheered, enjoying the ride.

They stayed out there until each of them had had a turn standing in the back with Gibbs.

-.-.-

The hot springs had been as relaxing and beautiful as advertised. And to be child-free for even a few hours during the school holidays was priceless. They really owed Gibbs and DiNozzo a favor.

When they arrived back at the house, it was suspiciously quiet. An old country western movie was playing on the TV in the living room, and both Tony and Ziva were fast asleep, curled up together under a blanket.

McGee smiled and reached for Delilah's hand, squeezing it once. He was so thankful to have Ziva back after all this time. He could only imagine how Tony felt. Every moment of peace he now enjoyed was earned a hundred fold. For both of them.

“Why don't you go check on the kids?” Delilah said quietly, careful not to wake them. Tim nodded and headed toward the stairs, while Delilah wheeled her way into the kitchen with the others.

Up in the attic, Gibbs lay on the floor beneath a ramshackle amalgamation of blankets and pillows. He'd be the last person to admit they'd worn him out between the dog sledding, snowman making, and fort building, but he wouldn't complain if they let him just lay here for a little bit longer. He hadn't taken everything with him when he moved to Alaska, but he did still have some of Kelly's old things, toys that Victoria, Tali, Johnny, and Morgan were now playing with.

“How's everyone doing up here?” Tim's voice called as he made his way up the stairs. “Woah, looks like you all had a fun afternoon.”

“We went on the dog sled!” Morgan announced loudly, her head popping out of the fort. Gibbs pushed one of the blankets aside and inched his way out.

“You good, boss?” Tim asked, an amused smile on his face.

“‘Course,” Gibbs answered with a nod, stretching his knees. “I'll get started on dinner. Steaks okay?”

“Great!” McGee answered. “I’ll come down and help in a bit.”

-.-.-

Dinner consisted of Gibbs’ signature cowboy steaks cooked over a fire. The kids regaled their parents with stories of their afternoon activities, while the adults discussed their hopes of seeing the northern lights that night.

A few hours later, they all stood bundled up on Gibbs’ back porch, disappointedly staring up at the cloudy sky.

“We'll try again tomorrow night,” McGee said, giving Johnny a consoling pat on the back. The clouds would prevent them from getting a view of the aurora tonight, but hopefully another time they would have more luck. Eventually they trudged back inside to warm up around the fire.

“Tateleh, have you set your shoes out for Père Noël?” Ziva asked.

Tali's eyes widened, and she ran off to grab a pair.

“What's she doing that for?” Victoria asked, looking up to her father.

“Père Noël is French for Father Christmas – Santa Claus,” Tony explained. “In France, he leaves presents in shoes instead of stockings."

“Can I leave my shoes out too?” Morgan asked, yanking on her dad's hand.

“Me too!” Johnny said. 

“Go get them,” Delilah spoke, nodding toward the stairs. Victoria followed, excited at the prospect of getting more candy and presents from Santa Claus.

-.-.-

Somewhere, a floorboard squeaked, drawing Tali out of her peaceful sleep. When she opened her eyes, Grampa Gibbs was standing beside the bunk bed wearing a t-shirt and plaid pajama pants.

He held a finger over his lips. 

“Follow me, I've got something to show ya,” he said in a whisper, bending to do the same for Morgan, then Victoria and Johnny. They each rubbed their eyes sleepily, allowing Gibbs to help them down from the bunk beds and into their slippers.

“Where are we going?” Morgan asked, her whisper not quite as soft as she was intending. They padded down the cold wooden stairs, like little ducks in a row as they followed their parents’ old boss.

“You'll see in a minute,” Gibbs promised, leading them through the living room to the back porch door.

Johnny glanced at the Christmas tree as they passed it. “Hey! Santa already came!” he said excitedly, his eyes widening at the sight of so many presents under the tree and filling their stockings and shoes.

“Plenty of time for that later,” Gibbs spoke, handing each of them their coats. “Look outside.”

Tali did, and she gasped at the sight of the sky alight with color. Stripes of green rippled across the black firmament above the Earth, like a flag waving in the wind. Surrounding it was a glittering field of stars, brighter than any Tali or the others had seen, living so close to the cities.

“The clouds cleared!” Victoria said, staring up at the sky in awe. Gibbs opened the door and let them outside, watching their faces instead of the natural wonder taking place above their heads. 

“So cool,” Johnny mouthed, his jaw hanging open. “This is the best Christmas ever.”

Morgan nodded in agreement.

This was pretty special. A moment the children would never forget.

-.-.-

Morning time brought presents and the kind of holiday cheer Ziva never thought she'd be lucky enough to experience again. The kids were delighted at their gifts, giggling at their success at getting chocolates put in their shoes by Santa Claus, just as Tali said would happen.

Victoria received a star projector as one of her presents, and she and Tali were already making plans to try it out in the fort they had built upstairs. Meanwhile, Ziva gave Tony an empty baby book, knowing it would mean the world to him to fill it with pictures and memories as their new baby grew.

Snow was again falling, a picturesque sight out the large cabin windows, especially with the sun beginning to rise over the horizon. Light wisps of pink and yellow mixed with faded blue over the top of the snow-capped mountains. A crystal clear morning.

“Why don't you play for us,” Ziva whispered in Tony's ear, nodding to the piano that sat in the corner of the room, a remnant of the previous tenant, Gibbs had said.

Tony turned and looked down at her, a contented smile playing on his lips. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, holding there for a beat, then unfolded himself from the couch where they sat intertwined.

“Hey!” McGee said excitedly when he noticed where he was headed. The others looked up from their gifts and smiled in anticipation. Tali hopped to her feet and joined her Abba by the piano, her grin matching his.

“What song should I play?” he asked her. One look out the window, and she answered his question in his ear like a secret. “Good idea,” he said.

After testing the keys, making sure they were in working order, his fingers splayed across the instrument, beginning their rhythmic dance. Each chord was played beautifully, a warm sound that matched the feeling of sitting by the fire with family. 

“Sing with me, Tali,” Tony said, locking eyes with his daughter as he finished up his intro. She nodded eagerly and placed a hand on his shoulder, leaning her head against him.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,

Just like the ones I used to know.

Where the treetops glisten,

And children listen,

To hear sleigh-bells in the snow.

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas,

With every Christmas card I write.

May your days be merry and bright,

And may all your Christmases,

Be white.

-.-.-

Tag list: @artemisscabin @benedettabeby @earanemith @happygirl-0408 @hopeless-nostalgiac @loudlooks @nicolem194 @putthekettleon @slippery-soapbox @tivafanfic @tonysziva

[beeps-mess]

Autistic Reader + NCIS Team

Little drabbles of a gender-neutral reader with autism interacting with the NCIS team. Probably part one. This one has Gibbs, Abby, Jimmy, Ziva, and Ellie.

AO3

Part Two

Reblogs > Likes

God, you felt gross. Your brain was buzzing and your skin was crawling. You had showered three times already, the second right after drying off from the first, the third following after sitting on your bed, partly dressed, crying due to being stuck in your skin. You had just exited the shower, sighing when you realized the gross feeling was still with you. Pulling on your shirt and a pair of shorts you ignored your phone vibrating, flapping out of frustration with everything. You started pacing, walking back and forth, back and forth. A knock on your front door interrupted your pacing. You peeked through the peek-hole, sighing in relief when you see Abby Sciuto in all her glory. You flung the door open, ignoring the clattering of the item in her hand, too busy focusing on the weight of her arms around you. After a while you pull away, allowing her to bend down, picking up the item you caused her to drop. It was your favorite film. You hugged her again, throwing the normal social structures out the window with her. Abby always knew how to calm you down when you were in a funk and it was something you loved so much. You two spent the next few hours watching your favorite film along with your comfort episodes from your favorite shows.

-

Your palms were sweaty. You could hear the tick of the clock every minute. The sun was in your eyes. You could hear the briefing of a team two cubicles away along with the whispers of people leaving the break room. Tim had been clicking his pen for the last three minutes and thirty-eight seconds. Ellie's fan was causing a paper to repetitively hit her desk. The lights were too bright, adding to the horrors of the orange walls. You could hear, feel, and see it all, and god it was a lot. You closed your eyes, focusing on just the clicking of the pen, taking the deepest breaths you could manage. And then, suddenly, all the noise stopped, replaced with a new pressure around your ears. You looked up just in time to see Gibbs smile softly in satisfaction before walking back to his desk to sit.

-

Jimmy was on lunch, specifically on a not-date with Jess, which was something you knew, yet, here you are, standing in the doorway of the autopsy. Flapping, you leave the lights off and move to his desk, opening the bottom drawer to find what you needed. Pulling out your headphones and a weighted stim toy you slide down the wall next to his desk. Once on the floor, you move your legs around to sit crisscross, putting on the headphones and taking off your cardigan. You start slowly rocking back and forth, moving the beads around, back and forth in the fidget. You rock and rock and rock and rock, all until the lights flick on suddenly, Jimmy taking two steps into the room before noticing you. He rushed back to the lights, flicking them back, before coming to sit on the floor with you. He holds up one finger, then another, starting the process that you two had developed when you have a meltdown. One finger means notepad and two means sign. You huff, thinking about it before holding up a single finger. He slowly opens his bottom desk drawer, pulling out the specific notebook he had bought for you after finding the right texture of the paper. He slides a pencil and pen to you, allowing you the choice. You pick the pen, clicking it multiple times before you write anything. The notebook was opened up to the checklist page, and you checked off the boxes that applied to the situation, hesitating when you got to the question about taking or putting on your headphones. Checking it yes, you hand the notebook back to him, allowing him to read through it all and put on the requested playlist before you took off your headphones. Sighing softly, you closed your eyes, opening them to see a Jimmy Palmer smiling softly at you. You poked him in the knee, causing him to pull out a bouncy ball from the still-open desk drawer, and roll it to you. The two of you spent a while rolling or bouncing the ball back and forth, allowing you to calm down before pushing through the last few hours of the office day.

-

Walking into the breakroom, you huff, realizing that they’re out of your comfort snack. Rubbing your pointing finger against your thumb three times to comfort yourself, you completely miss Ellie walking into the room. Noting the lack of your desired food, she turns to you, the question if you would like to go on a snack break out of her mouth before you can process that she was there. Jumping slightly, you nod your head, accepting the hand offered by your friend and coworker. Walking to the elevator, she sends a short text to Tim, saying they ran out of your comfort food and should be back within half an hour. You start stimming with her hand in yours, getting less embarrassed about it when she smiles softly at you after putting her phone away. She offers you the spare pair of earbuds she had on her and you offer her your coat. Ellie and your relationship had always been like this, her picking things up she thinks you might need when going out and you overdressing, always able to lend her a jacket when she needs one. Once at the ground level of the office, you two walk out, hand in hand, at max comfort. You two walk in silence, already knowing where you’re headed.

-

Gibbs and Tony were out, picking up information on the only lead you have. You had gone through the list of the normal things you did when bored at work, alone, but were still restless. Your eyes light up when Ziva walks into the room, tapping your feet on the ground a satisfying amount of times before getting up. She raises an eyebrow at you, getting no response as you just lightly pull on her wrist, leading the two of you over to the empty desk in the back of the team's cubical. Nodding, she sits down in one of the chairs, reaching onto the desk to start on the puzzle that you kept back here. It was currently a space one, something you had picked up at a museum when visiting with Gibbs. Flapping lightly, you sit down, happy to continue the shared puzzle, something that always kept you distracted when there was time to kill. She smiles at you, something you’re too focused to notice. The two of you sit there, getting the border and different stars done in the time it takes for Tony and Gibbs to get back

[specialagentlokitty]

Jimmy Palmer x Male!reader - happy memories

So I’m looking for a Jimmy Palmer x Trans Male Reader, romantic relationship please! and could the storyline be the reader (an agent on Gibbs’ team) getting triggered whilst on a case and Jimmy realising that it’s a PTSD reaction and helping to calm the reader down? Not sure of more than that, but some fluff between the reader and Jimmy would be cool! - @the-imitation-blog 💜

(D/N) - dead name

Jimmy was busy helping Ducky when he heard you come over, crouching next to him he smiled and looked up at you as he held a coffee cup out to him.

“Thanks!” He beamed.

“None for me?” Ducky chuckled.

“Don’t worry doc I haven’t forgotten you, here’s your tea.”

Ducky took it and gave you a thankful smile as he began to fill you in on everything that he had found and you nodded along.

“Right thanks Duck, I’ll let Gibbs know.”

Getting up, you kissed Jimmy on the head before walking away to go and find your boss.

It wasn’t easy to miss him, he was standing in front of the police barricade practically shouting an argument to someone.

Walking over, you stood next to him.

“(D/N)?” Someone asked.

You didn’t respond to them and turned around to face your boss instead.

“Ducky thinks it was foul play, I think we should make this an official investigation.” You explained.

“Right, I’ll let Vance know.”

Gibbs walked away with his phone in his hands and someone grabbed your shoulder making you jump back away from them.

“Unless you want to be arrested for assaulting a federal officer I suggest you think again.” You sneered.

“(D/N) don’t you dare speak to me like that.”

“That’s not my name.” You hissed.

“It is and always will be your name!”

“No it’s not!”

The woman on the other side of the tape just scoffed at you and shook her head.

“This is just a phase, you’ll out grow it!” She yelled.

Your breathing picked up and you slowly started to back away as you realised who she was.

While backing away you bumped into someone and you looked behind you to find Tony there, he placed his hands on your arms and moved you behind him.

“I suggest you leave him alone before I personally drag you in myself!” Tony snapped.

The woman started to argue with him and you just walked away, heading to the ME van you sat there with your head in your hands trying to take deep breaths.

You thought getting into NCIS was going to get you away from all of this, but you had no clue why she was even there.

You were breathing rapidly, chest heaving as you heard your heart racing in your chest.

“Gibbs something is wrong with (Y/N)!” Ziva yelled.

Gibbs turned to you as did the rest of the team.

Jimmy started at you for a moment before he jumped up, pulling his gloves off he stuffed them into his pocket as he walked over and took your face between his hands.

You eyes started at him but there wasn’t even a flicker of recognition there.

“Breathe.” He said softly.

You took a deep breath.

“That’s it, and another?”

You did the same and he kept telling you to take deep breaths until he could feel you relax slightly and he wiped a few tears from your face with his thumbs.

“Jimmy…?” You asked.

“Yeah it’s me, come here.”

He sat next to you and pulled you into his side, letting you rest your head on his shoulder as you closed your eyes, trying to focus on calming your racing heart.

“She’s gone now, do you want to head back we’re leaving anyways.” Tony smiled.

You nodded and stood up, pulling your keys out of your pocket only to have them snatched away by Tony.

“I’ll drive, then autopsy gremlin will find you when he’s back, okay?”

You nodded and followed Tony.

The drive back was silent, he didn’t ask any questions other than wondering if you were okay.

Once you were back you sat at your desk trying to do some paperwork when a pair of hands were placed in your shoulders messaging them.

Looking up you found Jimmy smiling down at you, and you placed a hand over one of his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“You don’t have to tell me what happened back there, I just want to know if you’re okay?” He asked.

“Yeah… I’ll be okay.” You nodded.

Leaning your head back, you resting it against him as you closed your eyes and slowly breathed, the sounds of the office helping you relax, reminding you where you really were.

Jimmy smiled at you and leant down, kissing the top of your head before he carried on working all the stress out of your shoulders.

“Palmer! You should be downstairs!” Gibbs snapped.

“Sorry gibbs I’ll go now.”

Jimmy went to leave but your white knuckle grip on his hand made him stop and he turned to gibbs who looked at you before sighing.

He waved his hand, telling Jimmy he could stay there and your grip relaxed a little.

Jimmy leant down.

“I’m not going anywhere okay?” He whispered.

You nodded your head and he carried on messaging your shoulders, letting you rest your head on him as you tried to forget everything about the woman you had seen today.

All those horrible memories you didn’t want, you tried focusing on happy ones instead, and all the ones you thought off were about Jimmy. When you met him, when he asked you out, when you moved in together.

All your happy memories were him

[fictionalcraze]

I had been thinking about writing this oneshot for quite a while. I really wanted to see Gibbs appear and say goodbye to Ducky and to have a funeral for him. It would have been so much beautiful and poignant if you ask me. So since we didn't get it, I worte it.

Saying Goodbye - Ducky's funeral through Gibbs' eyes.

I have posted it on Wattpad, Ao3 and Fanfiction. Net. Give it a read. ❤️

[usaonetwothree]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: NCIS (TV 2003) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Anthony DiNozzo, Jimmy Palmer Additional Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Not Friendly to Anyone (Except Palmer), Because Tony is Going Through It, Without His Usual Support System, Post-Season/Series 03, Pre-Season/Series 04, Post-Episode: s03e23-24 Hiatus (NCIS), References What We Learn in Bounce, Supportive Jimmy Palmer, Panic Attacks Series: Part 9 of NCIS Fix-Its Summary:

Being Lead Agent isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Or, how Palmer lends a helping hand and learns to start stocking up on Jamaican Mochas.

[aethermint]

Are there any fanfics about ncis characters watching the show? Not seen any. Maybe I need to write one myself. Who would be interested in reading?

[tevantarlos]

My NCIS Summer Bingo 2023 Roundup

These are my 4 couple and/or friendship fics that I wrote for my NCIS Summer Bingo 2023 on Tumblr. Time Well Wasted [1 of 4] (Nick & Jess friendship) When You Know [2/4] (Jemmy) A Gesture of Friendship [3 of 4] (Tim & Jess friendship, with a hint of Delilah & Jess friendship) A Long Night [4/4] (Tim & Nick & Jimmy friendship)

[whoa-myninja]

Chapters: 3/?

Fandom: NCIS

Series: The Ziva Diaries

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Ziva David/Anthony DiNozzo, Ziva David/NCIS MCRT Team

Characters: Ziva David, Anthony DiNozzo, Abby Scuito, Timothy McGee, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Jimmy Palmer, Ducky Mallard, NCIS MCRT Team, Ellie Bishop, Leon Vance, Jenny Shepard

Additional Tags: Ziva POV, Romance, Humour, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional, Angst, Grief, Found Family

Summary: Have you ever wondered what Ziva was really thinking and feeling the moment she walked in to NCIS? What about when she shot Ari, went undercover with Tony as a married couple, or discovered McGee was writing about her in his book?

The Ziva Diaries is a brand new series, documenting entries from Ziva's diaries, throughout pivotal moments – from the moment she started at NCIS to the moment she left, and everything in between.

[tumbleweed-palmer]

jimmy x reader (timeline around when abby was still in the show) reader finds out she's pregnant after her and jimmy struggling for almost a year, she waits until shes 12 weeks and certain they are safe and she reveals it to jimmy and then they tell the team!

Some content warning: mentions of past miscarriage and pregnancy related things.

I got a tiny bit angsty, so this may be more emotional hurt/comfort I hope it's everything you wanted anon.

-----

Stronger Together

If anyone asked Y/N what she considered the most important element in a relationship to be, she would most likely answer trust. If you didn’t have trust you didn’t have anything. Once trust was broken you could try your hardest to put it back together, but you would always see the cracks.

When trust was broken in a relationship, the relationship itself was broken. 

She hadn’t always been fortunate enough to have trust in past relationships. More often than not she’d had her trust in her romantic partners shattered. Needless to say these experiences had taught her to appreciate the importance of trust.

If anyone were to ask her who she trusted the most in this world, she would easily answer without hesitation that the person she trusted above all was James “Jimmy” Palmer.

Jimmy Palmer was her soulmate. She had a deep sense of trust in him and he had a deep sense of trust in her.

She could say without any hesitation that there were no secrets between them. They had a tendency to tell one another everything.  

Jimmy liked to joke that it was a part of their wedding vows, the promise to tell one another everything. He wasn’t being serious of course.

Being so open with one another was just an understanding they’d always had.

Trust was just as meaningful to Jimmy as it was to Y/N. He’d had his trust broken before and it hurt. Jimmy had gone through a fair bit of having his trust broken in a previous relationship prior to meeting Y/N. He had openly admitted to Y/N that he couldn’t tolerate secrets and dishonesty especially in a relationship. 

That was why these past seven weeks had been so difficult.

She’d carried around a constant immense sense of guilt these past seven weeks. She’d been keeping such a huge secret and telling the occasional white lie to hide her secret.

She had wanted to admit the truth and say the words a million times now, but fear and anxiety kept a tight grip on her tongue. A voice in the back of her brain insisted that it was just too risky to tell him just yet.

She could distinctly remember the day she’d come to the realization that she had no choice but to keep a secret from her husband.

Y/N felt her stomach churn as she stared down at her watch before staring up at the analog clock on the wall in the lab and then down at the timer she’d set on her cell phone.

This was the longest ten minutes of her life. Though if she wanted to be technical about it, this was technically going to take longer than ten minutes. It was just ten minutes at the most for each test. There was more than one test which meant that not every test was set to show results at exactly ten minutes on the dot. 

She couldn’t keep it to just one single test. She needed to have a wide range of results from multiple tests. She was a scientist through and through and had purchased multiple tests for the best comparison in her results. 

Taking the tests had been more complicated than she’d assumed it would be. She knew that she must have looked absolutely out of her mind squatting over the toilet in the women’s room across from the lab holding multiple pregnancy tests in her hands attempting to shuffle them as she did all she could to to pee on one test after the other all in one go. 

Any reasonable person would have waited to tackle this venture in the security of their own home.

She knew she didn’t have much of a choice though, but to take care of this at work.

She was quite certain her husband would take notice if she disappeared in the bathroom for quite a while with a jug of water and a plastic shopping bag from the local pharmacy.

So, she’d taken a more secretive option. She’d waited until Abby took her lunch break before she’d slipped into the bathroom with a bag full of pregnancy tests discreetly hidden in her purse after she’d chugged the biggest bottle of juice she could find in the vending machine.

She’d taken care of business in the bathroom before slipping back into the lab heading to the area where Abby and she kept their desks knowing that it would offer a little privacy in case anyone happened to wander into the lab.

She had a feeling that no one would interrupt her in the lab. It was a remarkably slow day. So there was little chance of anyone wandering into the lab.

She just hoped that it wasn’t as slow in Autopsy as it was in the lab. 

The last thing she needed was her husband walking in on this.

She couldn’t help but to feel guilty for being so secretive about this. It was just that she couldn’t take putting the man she loved through the disappointment of what would most likely turn out to be yet another negative pregnancy test.  

She tried to tell herself that she wasn’t being secretive. If anything she was doing this out of love. She was trying to protect her husband from yet another crushing letdown.

There had been so many pregnancy tests over the past year. There had been so many disappointments and crushed senses of hope as they’d endured negative test after negative test.

They’d falsely believed that this would be so easy. Each negative pregnancy test proved though that this was much more difficult than they’d ever considered.

It had been one year now, one long year of trying and failing to start their family.

With as much time as they’d devoted to trying to get pregnant, Y/N was almost surprised that sex hadn’t begun to feel like a chore. After all, when one spent so much time having sex for the explicit purpose of conceiving a child, it seemed as though it would be quite easy for intimacy to feel less like an act of love and more like a job.

Jimmy had always done all he could to consistently remind her that focusing too hard on the end result they were hoping for would most likely place too much pressure on themselves and lessen their chances of conceiving. After all, if they were both stressed and so hyper focused on getting pregnant it would most likely make intimacy less of an enjoyable act and more of a means to an end. 

He’d tried so hard to keep things light and playful during their intimate moments. He’d tried hard to keep her in the moment and not so focused on what they were trying to achieve.

She would be lying though if she tried to pretend that their sex lives hadn’t become a little over technical at times. They’d tried a few unconventional things that they’d read just might increase their odds of conceiving. Though they’d doubted the validity of some of these things, they’d begun to get desperate in these past few months.

They’d tried propping her hips up on a pillow and holding her legs up after sex hoping that gravity would do its job.

They’d tried a few positions that they had read might help them conceive as it might help them achieve deeper penetration. Though they’d definitely read that there was little evidence to support that certain positions increased the odds of conceiving.  

They’d taken so many ovulation tests, She was almost sure they should purchase stock in the companies that manufactured the things. 

They’d scheduled sex around her ovulation cycle though that hadn’t always been easy with their schedules. They’d tried so hard to make sure that they didn’t miss out on taking advantage of her most fertile days even if they were only able to manage sleepy half paced sex after a long day at work. 

They’d reduced their caffeine intake and tried to eat as healthily as possible.

They’d tried so hard to keep their stress levels down, though it wasn���t easy in either of their careers.

Jimmy had even maybe awkwardly tried to casually ask Dr. Mallard if during any of his extensive medical training he’d possibly read any studies on increasing odds of conception…it was a conversation that Jimmy was sure he’d add to his top ten most awkward social interactions of all time. After all there wasn’t a way one could approach the question without it being clear that the question wasn’t purely for advancement of Jimmy’s medical knowledge. Especially considering their careers focused on the end of life and not the creation of life.

Needless to say despite their best efforts to conceive Jimmy and Y/N had fallen into a cycle of trying so hard to conceive, getting their hopes up, and having their hopes crushed.

Y/N was beginning to feel despondent over the entire process.

She was frustrated by her body’s lack of cooperation. 

She wanted to have a baby with Jimmy Palmer so badly she couldn’t stand it, but her body just wouldn’t seem to get with the program.

She had no doubt that Jimmy at times was equally as frustrated with his body’s lack of cooperation. However, he was so focused on trying to be the eternal optimist that he tried to hide his frustration.

It was something she both adored and hated about him. He was optimistic and so positive, but at times that positivity didn’t feel as comforting as he seemed to intend. It felt like he was burying his head in the sand and ignoring the cold hard truth that they were no closer to getting pregnant than they’d been when they’d started this venture 12 months before.

Y/N of course felt guilty for being so frustrated with his optimism. 

She loved him so much. It had been love at first sight.

She’d been hired by Abby to work as her assistant, a job she’d been told she should feel blessed to have given Abby’s past resistance to any assistance in the lab.

Y/N had been introduced to Jimmy within her first week at NCIS and she’d been unable to deny that he was incredibly cute and sweet too. He had sort of a bashful nerdy charm to him. She’d liked him more than she wanted to admit, and of course she’d felt foolish for developing a schoolgirl crush on him.

She’d hoped that the crush would fade, but it had only grown as the months had gone by. She’d tried so hard to focus on keeping any romantic feelings at bay, but it wasn’t easy. She had discovered so many things to like about Jimmy Palmer. Jimmy was funny, sweet, intelligent, empathetic, braver than anyone gave him credit for, and passionate about his job. 

It was hard to deny that her feelings for him went far beyond just coworkers who were developing a budding friendship. Of course neither had wanted to admit that their friendship often at times bordered on being quite flirty.

Abby had pointed out that Jimmy seemed sweet on Y/N numerous times, but Y/N had always laughed the claims off, unable to believe that a catch like Jimmy Palmer was even interested. She never had luck with guys. She never attracted guys who were equally attractive, kind, and intelligent. She’d joked she only ever got two out of the three but never the total package.

A night out with the rest of the NCIS crew had changed everything. A guy had gotten too handsy with Y/N obviously making her uncomfortable. Though she’d humored the guy at first and even allowed him to buy her a drink and attempt to show her how to play darts. She’d quickly grown tired of his attentions as they’d begun to become less flirty and more aggressive.

Jimmy had taken her by surprise as he’d come to her rescue. She’d been unaware that he’d maybe been keeping an eye on her the entire night trying to pretend that he wasn’t jealous that some guy was showing her attention. When it had become obvious that she wasn’t comfortable he couldn’t stand by and watch any longer. 

Though most people would believe that Jimmy wasn't the most intimidating guy on the planet, he’d managed to hold his own and use his height to his advantage.

Jimmy had taken Y/N outside to get some fresh air after the entire ordeal and it had brought up an awkward conversation where a few confessions had been made between the two.

She could still remember what Jimmy had said when he’d spilled the beans about his apparent romantic feelings towards her.

“I know you can defend yourself, but I couldn’t stand by and watch someone disrespect you like that.”

He’d paused the words coming out before he could stop them. “To be honest even if the guy had been respectful, I don’t really think I could stand by all night and watch him hit on you without it feeling awful…I guess what I’m trying to say is maybe I want to be the guy who buys you drinks and plays darts with you…I wouldn’t be opposed to taking you to dinner too.”

He’d spoken again of course after the words had left him repeatedly apologizing claiming he felt like he was taking advantage of a moment when she might be feeling vulnerable and insisting he didn’t intend to make a move on her at a totally inappropriate time. He just tended to speak before thinking sometimes.

She had shut him up with a kiss to the lips and a reassurance that he was being far from inappropriate given she wasn’t quite sure she could stand by and watch some girl hit on him.

That night had led to a first date the following night and a relationship. The relationship had led to a proposal from Jimmy, a small intimate wedding ceremony, and a happy marriage.

They were ready to start a family, but it seemed that it was easier said than done.

Y/N sighed as her cell phone timer finally went off for the final time signaling that the final pregnancy test was ready to view.

She stared down at the tests anticipating another let down.

She felt the breath leave her body as she found herself not staring down at the usual selection of negative test results.

She reached down with shaking hands reading the instructions over and over again comparing them to the tests the realization of what she was looking at soaking in.

Positive, the tests were positive. She was pregnant.

She felt the tears meet her eyes at the realization that they’d done it. They’d finally done it.

As soon as the joy hit the fear had begun to creep in.

A big part of the frustration Jimmy and Y/N felt from their lack of success conceiving had been fueled by an event that they’d endured not long after they’d returned from their honeymoon.

This wasn’t their first positive pregnancy test. Not long after they’d come home from their honeymoon Y/N had a late period and they’d taken a pregnancy test not expecting much. It had been positive.

They’d been ecstatic. They’d called everyone immediately after they’d gotten the confirmation that the test wasn’t a false positive. They’d told their families, their friends, and their coworkers. Abby had even teamed up with Ducky to throw them a congratulations party at work. 

As soon as the joy had set in, tragedy had followed.

Nothing could have prepared Y/N from waking up in the middle of the night with painful cramps and discovering that she was lying in a pool of her own blood.

The word had sounded so ugly when it had left the doctor’s mouth; miscarriage. 

It had felt like the world was closing in on her as she sat in the emergency room taking in the bad news. She could barely concentrate on the doctor’s reassurance that she was perfectly healthy and had done nothing wrong. She couldn’t find comfort in reassurance that this loss wouldn’t impact her ability to become pregnant again. She couldn’t focus on the explanation that the fetus was most likely nonviable and her body had spontaneously miscarried. Reassurances that this often happened to many women didn’t mean a thing to Y/N. 

All she could focus on was the horrifying realization that her baby was gone. 

She’d felt even worse as she’d turned her head to look at her husband. Jimmy looked as though someone had just told him the world was ending. He looked like he’d been punched in the gut. 

His eyes had met hers and the tears had come. 

She could still remember the words he’d murmured to her as he’d taken her in his arms and rocked her against him. He’d tried so hard to be strong for her even though he was hurting too “Oh my love, I know. I have you, I’m here. I know, just let it all out. I know. I’m so sorry.”

She’d only been able to cry against him the words so desperate. “Our baby is gone. It’s not fair. I wanted it.”

He’d stroked her back the words leaving him his voice cracking, he allowing himself to fall apart as well. “I wanted it too.”

Y/N felt an icy chill run down her spine at the memory. She stared down at the positive pregnancy tests, a realization hitting her.

It had taken them so long to feel ready to try for a baby again. They’d tried so hard to make this happen. What if she miscarried again? What if she got Jimmy’s hopes up that he was going to be a father only to take it away again? 

She couldn’t get Jimmy’s hopes up again. She couldn’t get everyone’s hopes up again. She wasn’t even sure she could manage to get her hopes up again. She couldn’t let everyone celebrate a new life when there was any chance that the life might be lost before they even got to bring it into the world.

She had to keep this to herself for now. She had to keep a secret from her husband.

It hadn’t been easy, keeping it to herself. She’d not told a soul no matter how badly she wanted to.

It was finally time to come clean though. These past seven weeks had passed. She was 12 weeks into her pregnancy and offically out of the danger zone.

She had to come clean and hope that everyone understood why she’d held it all in.

She tried to keep a brave face as she approached Autopsy, a gift bag clutched in her hand.

Jimmy’s lunch break was about to start and she knew she couldn’t wait until tonight to tell him. She’d waited long enough.

She tried to hide her anxiety hoping that Jimmy didn’t find anything amiss by her sudden visit to Autopsy.

She’d purposely avoided it lately due to nausea. Though to be honest the first trimester nausea was still hanging around. It wasn’t nearly as intense as it had been at least.

Hiding the symptoms of her pregnancy hadn’t been simple. Thankfully the first trimester had just been filled with exhaustion and the occasional bout of nausea. She had been able to convince everyone that she was just overworked and her immune system was probably struggling with the workload. No one had doubted or questioned her explanation.

She hadn’t brought up trying for a baby. Work had been pretty hectic lately. Jimmy and she made love but the discussion of conceiving hadn’t been brought up. Jimmy hadn’t questioned it thankfully. She was sure the guilt would have swallowed her whole if he had brought up conceiving not aware that they’d already succeeded. 

She’d even managed to have her first doctors appointment in secret writing it off as a normal gynecologist appointment when Jimmy had asked. It had been a guilt filled experience. 

She’d tried to silence her guilt telling herself that it was only one appointment and it had just been to confirm her pregnancy and reassure her that everything was normal and healthy. Jimmy would have plenty of appointments to attend with her for the remainder of this pregnancy.

She was relieved to find that there were no guests lying out on the autopsy tables as she entered the room.

Even if her nausea had lessened she wasn’t sure she could handle the gore at the moment.

Jimmy kissed her cheek thankfully not questioning her sudden appearance even if he did seem to be caught off guard by it.

“Ready for lunch?” She asked hoping that she didn’t sound as nervous as she felt.

“Yeah, I think I’m good to go. It’s actually been a pretty slow day. Dr. Mallard told me to take an early lunch break, but I wanted our lunches to sync up together.” Jimmy explained reaching into his scrubs pants pocket verifying that he did in fact have his wallet and his phone. 

He went to the coat rack Dr. Mallard kept in the corner of the room locating the laptop case he carried to work and finding his car keys.

Y/N let him take her hand in his thankful that he didn’t question the gift bag in her hand just yet.

They didn’t have to go far to get lunch given that there was a bistro not too far from NCIS headquarters. 

They did decide to get take out though knowing that the day was nice enough that they could most likely just sit outside of NCIS headquarters and take their time to enjoy lunch in the fresh air.

Y/N felt her throat grow tight as Jimmy finally acknowledged the gift bag she had placed beside her as they sat to eat. “What’s with the gift bag?”

“It’s kind of for you.” Y/N admitted taking a deep breath hoping that this was the best way to spill the beans to him. 

Jimmy widened his eyes taking a bite of his sandwich speaking between bites. “Why a gift for me? I’m pretty sure it’s not my birthday…right. I mean I know work’s been busy lately but I don’t think I missed my own birthday. I am also more than sure that it’s not Valentine's Day. I know it’s definitely not our anniversary because you would have killed me for getting this far into the day without me acknowledging that it’s our anniversary. So, what’s the occasion?”

Y/N took a deep breath picking up the bag handing it over to him. “It’s just better if you open it.”

He placed his sandwich down in his carry out box wiping his hands on a napkin before he took the gift bag.

He opened it peering down into the bag as he began to remove items.

He furrowed his brow as he stared down at the first item. He held up the book a look of confusion washing over his features “Winnie the Pooh?”

Y/N felt her throat grow tight as she nodded at the bag. “There’s more.”

He placed the book aside reaching back into the bag pulling out two more items staring down at them. The crochet booties were a pale yellow and if they weren’t enough to explain it the sonogram scan he was holding in his hand fully explained it.

He spoke his voice filled with disbelief as he struggled to place his words together. “I…you’re, we’re...”

He paused, taking a shaky breath. “You’re pregnant…how, when?”

“Twelve weeks…I’m twelve weeks.” Y/N explained her stomach in knots, unable to read his expression.

“How long have you known?” He asked, still staring down at the items in his hands, the sonogram seeming to capture most of his attention. 

“I knew at five weeks…I took a test…I took more than one test. The doctor confirmed it with the sonogram week seven.” She admitted the knots in her stomach were growing more and more furled and tight.

She continued to study him, his expression still so unreadable. 

Guilt began to cloud her mind a voice in the back of her brain claiming that he was upset with her that she’d kept this to herself for seven weeks. She’d excluded him from the first trimester. Her attempt to protect him had hurt him.

The tears begin to set in guilt becoming overwhelming. She spoke, babbling her voice breaking as she frantically tried to wipe her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry”.

Jimmy took her by surprise pulling her against him holding her against him. Jimmy shifted both items he’d been holding to one hand using his free hand to rub her back. “Slow down, take a breath. Just slow down and breathe, my love.”

She tried to to follow his advice the guilt shoving her into a full blown panic attack. He continued to rub her back his voice soft. “Twelve weeks.”

She spoke her voice weepy the guilt still hanging over her. “I wanted to tell you a thousand times. I was just so scared.”

“Scared of what?” Jimmy asked his voice thankfully not harsh though her mind insisted she deserved it.

She felt her throat grow tight, deciding to just spill it all out. “I kept thinking back to the last time.” 

Jimmy furrowed his brow, taking him a moment to realize what she meant by the last time. 

She spoke again, her voice still weepy. “I kept thinking about how you looked that night in the ER. You were trying so hard to be strong for me, but you were hurting too. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. After we miscarried I did a lot of research into it…I’m a scientist. Research is what I do. A small percentage of women experience multiple miscarriages. It’s a small percentage, but it happens. I just kept thinking about how much trouble we’ve had conceiving when it was so easy to get pregnant the first time. I was afraid that it’s all my body…that there’s something wrong with me. I knew we wanted to get pregnant so bad, but I was so afraid of my body. I couldn’t get your hopes up knowing that there was even a chance of me losing this pregnancy.”

Jimmy spoke continuing to rub her back his voice soft. “Honey..”

He didn’t have a chance to speak as she spoke again interrupting him. “I know it wasn’t my choice to make…keeping you in the dark. I didn’t involve you in my decision. I wanted to protect you and I kept you in the dark. I always told you I’d never keep anything from you and I broke my promise. I hurt you. You’re the last person I want to hurt. You have the right to be angry with me.”

He shushed her pressing a kiss to her temple fast to speak before she had a chance to keep talking. “You should have told me, but I can understand why you were afraid. I love you too much to be angry. You were scared sweetheart, and we’ve struggled to make this happen. We’ve had our hopes destroyed so many times. We wanted this so bad. I can’t blame you for being afraid it was going to be taken away. You don’t have to be scared alone though. You never have to be afraid by yourself. I’d much rather be afraid together than be afraid alone.”

She sniffled her voice weak. “You always try to be the strong one for me. I guess I thought I should be strong for you for once. If I had to be afraid alone I thought it was okay because at least you didn’t have to be scared too.”

“You are strong for me…when we lost the baby…I felt so guilty. You had to go through all the physical aspects of it along with the emotional pain. I only had to feel the emotional pain. I thought that you were stronger than me for that. I never told you that…I should have. Never doubt how strong you are. I think we’re both strong for each other. I think we're strongest together. That's why our marriage works. We're at our strongest when we can lean on each other.” Jimmy reassured her, squeezing her a little tighter.

He dared to pull back from her his hand pressing to her stomach his voice soft the guilt fading from her all the more. “A baby, my baby. I did that?”

She managed to speak a weepy laugh leaving her. “It’s hard to comprehend, but the sonogram kind of makes it a little more real.”

He stared down at the sonogram still in his hand. “It’s healthy right? I mean, everything looked okay on the sonogram?”

“Everything looks good so far. The is the only sonogram I’ve had so far….they wanted to do one this soon given…the miscarriage…You really can’t see much of anything. I keep thinking it kind of looks like a peanut…They think we’ll be able to hear the heartbeat next sonogram. They could see the heart starting to develop in this sonogram, but we couldn’t hear it…the doctor said it’s nothing to panic over though.” She explained almost relieved she hadn’t heard the heartbeat without him.

She spoke again sharing the other news he’d missed at the appointment. “My estimated due date is November 15th.”

“It missed my birthday.” He remarked his eyes still locked on her stomach his hand beginning to rub it.

He spoke again, his eyes turning to look at the book he’d placed beside them. “Winnie the Pooh?”

“I remembered what your mom sent the last time…the stuffed animal…like the one you had. I wanted to get another one, but…I just couldn’t. I thought the book might be a good start…maybe we can get the stuffed animal after they’re here.” She explained his eyes growing a little damp as it hit him.

The stuffed animal his mother had send the last time they’d gotten pregnant. It had been a Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal. Jimmy had one when he was a child. Jimmy was pretty sure his grandmother had gotten it for him at Sears for Christmas. 

Of course the one Jimmy’s mother had sent for her future grandchild hadn’t been from the 1980s like Jimmy’s had been. 

He spoke nodding his head. “It’s a good start. It’s a great start. The booties?”

“I figured yellow was a good choice. We don’t know if it's a boy or a girl.” She explained.

Jimmy was fast to speak certain of the words. “Boy or girl, I love it. I love both of you.”

“I love you too.” She responded relieved as his lips met hers all of the fear and doubt she’d felt disappearing.

They sat in silence for a moment as their lips parted Jimmy not pulling his hand from her stomach they soaking up the moment. Y/N felt like she could breathe clearly for the first time in months. 

Jimmy finally spoke breaking the silence. “Can we tell everyone? Is that okay?”

“Yeah. We can tell everyone.” She replied knowing it was time to come clean to everyone.

She was surprised as he reached into his scrubs pants pocket fishing out his cell phone. She watched a little confused as he opened his contacts finding the number he was searching for. He spoke fast to say the words. “Abby can you gather everyone in the lab? Y/N and I have something to say and everyone needs to be there.”

She watched as he finally got off the phone, somehow resisting Abby’s insistence to explain his request further. He spoke, his cheeks flushing ever so slightly. “I thought the lab would be better than Autopsy. I don’t know how I feel about announcing we’re having a baby, in Autopsy…I mean I know my job is a huge part of my life and our kid will most likely figure out what I do for a living and isn’t going to totally escape dead body talk…but announcing our kid’s existence there might inspire Baby Autopsy Gremlin jokes from Tony.”

“I thought you like the Autopsy Gremlin jokes.” She replied.

He pressed a kiss to her cheek quick to respond. “I like them fine, but I would prefer our baby be spared from it.”

She let him take her hand in his as he stood up helping her gather their things he clearly ready to go share the news.

She took a deep breath ready to completely spill the beans. She felt her stomach flip as it hit her they still had to call their parents.

………………………………………………..

She stood by Jimmy’s side as everyone crowded into Abby’s lab it a tight fit. Autopsy probaby would have had more room, but she had to agree with Jimmy that the idea of sharing the news of a new life in a place where death was so prominent seemed a little too uncomfortable.

Jimmy held her hand scrambling a bit with the gift bag to find just what he was looking for with his free hand.

He felt his cheeks flush the bag almost falling to the floor until Y/N reached out with her free hand steadying it.

He finally found what he needed Y/N taking the bag from him allowing him a bit more freedom of movement.

He held up the sonogram picture proudly, his chin tilted up, his chest puffed out ever so slightly as he spoke. “We’re having a baby. We’re twelve weeks in. I’m going to be a dad”.

Y/N and Jimmy weren’t shocked by the rush towards them their coworkers crowding them the sonogram easily being passed around as well as congratulations. 

Y/N twisted her lips trying not to chuckle realizing Tony was predictable as Tony spoke, staring down at it. “Baby Gremlin looks like a peanut.”

Jimmy narrowed his eyes, a huff leaving him. “No Baby Gremlin jokes, and it’s beautiful. If it's shaped like a peanut it’s the most beautiful peanut I’ve ever seen.”

Gibbs was fast to respond giving Jimmy’s shoulder a pat. “Spoken like a true father Palmer.”

They were surprised by the hug that came from Abby with exclamations containing babysitting offers.

More hugs followed from McGee and Ziva who were less eager to make any offers of future babysitting.

Ducky was quick to offer hugs as well quick to remark. “I am still open to being Grandducky.”

Jimmy and Y/N felt their throats grow tight knowing that with their last pregnancy the concept of Grandducky had come up. 

Any sense of sorrow was overshadowed by the joy they felt spotting the sonogram knowing it would be different this time.

Jimmy was fast to speak. “They couldn’t ask for a better Grandducky.”

Jimmy held Y/N against him as there was more talk among their work-family about the newest edition to the Palmer family.

Jimmy pressed his lips to her temple, his voice soft as his free hand reached down pressing against her stomach. “I love you.”

“I love you. We both do.” Y/N replied any fear and anxiety she’d felt so far away now.

This had been a difficult seven weeks, but she knew the remainder of her pregnancy would be far less difficult.

Even if she was scared, she wouldn’t have to be scared alone. Jimmy was right. They were strongest together.

[thestarwarslesbian]

NCIS/9-1-1 Crossover

-In autopsy-

Jimmy: I think our family needs to go on holiday. Gibbs: Same. The only people aren’t traumatised are you and Chris. Jimmy: Normally for 7 people it would cost a lot but you, Eddie, Tommy and Buck get veterans discount, Chris can get a discount due to his CP and me and Tony can get discounts for being federal agents. That makes any trip significantly cheaper. Gibbs: I’ll book the tickets to Disney.

[writeandsurvive]

Doubts ~ Alden Parker 2/2

Summary: Alden Parker reconnects with his first love and it gets him all confused  Pairing: Alden Parker x Fem!Reader Words count: 5.5k Warnings: age gap relationship, pregnancy talk, mention of dissociation Author's note: it's been a while since I wrote for Alden and I definitely didn't expect for it to be this long, nor take this way either but here we are. I'm giving myself to opportunity to write sequel fics with that ending, cause you never know. I hope you're enjoying it <3 love!

Around lunch time, he received a text from Jeremy. 

‘Wanna come over with your lady tonight?’ He didn’t answer immediately because he didn’t know. 

A couple hours later, it was your turn to text him. 

‘Jer is inviting us for dinner tonight. I’m down! You?’

He can leave Jeremy on read but he can’t do it to you. 

‘Not sure, day’s a mess.’

More like his head is a mess. 

‘Is it okay if I go anyway? You can join if you leave work early enough.’

‘Of course, go! I’ll keep you posted.’

‘Works. Love you, Superman! ❤️’

‘Love you too’

“You look miserable, Parker.” Nick Torres informed him as he grabbed a pastry still sitting on Alden’s desk.

“Thanks, Torres?”

“I bet it’s past days haven't been easy for you. When are we going to meet the future Mrs Parker?”

“Don’t know. We got some stuff planned already.”

“You know she can just stop by.” Jess chimed in.

“Been there, done that. Nope.”

“Alden” it was Tim’s turn to join, “We’re not jerks from the FBI, you know?”

“I don’t worry about you guys. But—“ his hand gesture showed off the entire headquarters, meaning everyone else. 

“I know what’s going on!” Jess interjected, earning puzzled looks from her coworkers. “You’re gatekeeping her.”

“Gatekeeping?”

“Kasie told me how pretty she is. And she’s younger than you.”

“We established that.”

“You are afraid someone in here, in her age rank, will try to swoop her away from you.” 

Alden let out a humorless laugh. “Trust me, Jess, I’ve seen many people try and fail. Right in front of me. I’m not worried about that.” 

“Or maybe she’s just good at hiding it.” Nick grinned at his team leader. 

“Torres, shut up.” 

“Gatekeeping.” Jess said, again. And Tim and Nick repeated it as agreements.

Alden Parker wasn’t sure what drove him to Joy’s house once again. He didn’t even know why he drove for two hours before going there, just to get her favorite pastries from when they were kids. The case is done, and he should put this behind him like it’s been all of those years. But when she opened the door and welcomed him inside, he smiled. 

They settled at the table with coffee and pastries, and started to talk. It was about the case this time, it was about them. Their past, what happened, how they felt. What their lives became from there. He learned that his ex wife Vivian visited Joy after their divorce because she “wanted to see the woman she fought against through the entire marriage.”

“That’s very stupid.” He said “And I’m sorry she actually came to see you.”

“It’s okay, at least I knew about how your life turned out. But it was fifteen years ago. What happened after that?”

You. He met you several years after his divorce, but that was the only answer he wanted to give. You happened, and you made his life a thousand times better. 

“I'm getting married in two months.” 

“Oh! I didn’t—well, congratulations, Park. Kids? Stepkids perhaps?”

“No and no.”

“Do you regret not having kids?”

Alden rubbed his face before answering. “I’m sorry, maybe you don’t want to talk about—“

“She’s younger than me. Young enough to get pregnant, so—“

“Okay, back up. When you say younger than you—?”

“Ryan’s age.”

“You kidding me right now?”

He shook his head no.

“Park, what the hell! Are you seriously getting married to a girl who could be your daughter?”

“Please, don’t, Joy. I’ve had this conversation too many times, I’m not having it with you.”

“I’m sorry, but it’s—“

“Wrong? Bad? Sick? Perverted? Trust me, I heard it all.”

“No, I was just going to say that—it’s too bad.” He looked up to her. “I was hoping you were single.”

He felt her hand on top of his. He knew he should’ve moved his hand away. He should’ve told her to back off, tell her that he wasn’t, and he was very happy about his life and upcoming wedding. But he let her. He let her intertwine her fingers with his. He even squeezed and she softly smiled. She got closer to him, and he didn’t move away. He saw her face approaching his, and he stayed there. Her lips touched his and he didn’t pull away. 

When his phone buzzed, he basically jumped from his seat, stepping away from Joy. Confused and lost, he grabbed his phone and saw that Jeremy was calling. He cleared his throat before answering.

“Hey pal.” He tried to sound casual.

“Uncle Alden! Where are you? Are you coming?” Eli.

“Buddy, hey! I’m still at work, but I’m coming soon, okay? I hope you didn’t start eating without me?” 

“No but hurry, you’re gonna miss the beginning of the game!” 

“I’m on my way! I’m hurrying up!” 

“Okay! But auntie said "drive safe.””

“Always.”

Joy was sitting at the table again. “My godson.”

“And he’s waiting for you, from what I understood.”

“Yeah, dinner and a baseball game.”

He grabbed his coat to put it on. 

“Is she his godmother?”

“No, Eli was five when I met her. But I really don’t want to talk about her with you, Joy. That kiss shouldn’t have happened.” He started to walk towards the door. 

“But it did and you didn’t fight. Not even for a second.” 

And he hated that. He hated himself. 

He opened the door. 

“Maybe that wedding shouldn’t happen.” She said. 

He closed the door. 

It was probably one of the worst drive of his life. How could he let this happen? How could he do this to you? He never faulted when he was married to Vivian, or any other relationships, but he did it with you. You’re the most amazing thing that ever happened to him, the most precious person he could ever meet, and he betrayed you. And the worst part of this? He wasn’t sure it wouldn’t happen again. Because catching up with Joy does something to him. It makes him feel things he thought long gone. He makes him wonder a lot of things, and pretty much puts his whole life into perspective. What if he changed earlier and her parents didn’t move away? What if she answered his letters? What if life hadn’t separated them? 

What if…

What if it was their second chance?

Alden knocked at the door and let himself in as usual. Eli came running to hug his godfather. Jeremy’s wife greeted him with a hug, the men greeted each other with their handshake, and his eyes laid down on you. You stood up from the couch with a soft smile. But he knows you well. He knows there’s sadness behind this smile. You probably could feel his internal struggle and was worried about it. But you were trying to hide it. “Hey you.” You whispered. 

To your surprise, Alden pulled you into a hug before kissing your forehead and then your lips. It was brief, but nice. 

You all settled in the living room, as the game was about to start. Jeremy’s wife had prepared some toasts and snacks to pick, and she served a beer to Alden. Eli was sitting next to his godfather, wearing his Cubs hat and you were on Alden’s other side. The game started, the conversations went from what you were watching to catching up with one another. Your fiancé and Jeremy talked about work here and there. You and his wife talked about the wedding, and she showed you some stuff she saw online. Lots of DIY. 

“Let me just say it. Sweetie, my lovely wife here is just waiting for you to ask to do all those things for the wedding.” Jeremy said.

“Jer!!” His wife interjected. 

“Do you really want to do all of this for us?” You asked her. 

“Kinda. I mean, I love weddings and I didn’t get to plan ours cause I was very much pregnant. But yeah, I’d love to. If it’s okay with you of course.”

“Of course! I mean I’m good with planning, but decorations, ambiance, that’s not my strong suit.”

“Don’t worry about that then. I’m handling it.” 

You hugged her and looked at Alden. He was physically there, but his mind was far away. You could tell. 

“Den, you good with Becky taking care of the decor?”

“Yeah, sure. Of course.” He forced a smile. “Thank you Beck’s.”

You spent the rest of the game looking at your fiancé who was clearly avoiding your eyes, or actually you altogether. He was focusing on the game with Eli, shouting at the TV here and there. Becky made small talk with you and you answered, doing your best to hide how you were really feeling. At half time, Jeremy invited Alden to the backyard. “You good, man?”

“Yes, just tired. Long week.”

“Meeting again with your first love.”

Alden didn’t take the slug he was about to. He stopped, staring at his best friend. 

“She told you?”

“Of course. She’s worried, Alden.” Jeremy waited for Alden to say something but he just stared at his beer. “Is she right to be worried?”

He looked up to his best friend but this time, he had tears in his eyes. Still unable to say anything, he just shook his head. Not as “no”, but as defeat. He was lost, and lost for words. Jeremy wheeled closer. “Did something happen?” He whispered. 

“We kissed.” 

“Alden.”

“I know, Jer. I’m—horrible. Doing this to her? I hate myself for it, I would kick my own ass if I could.” 

“Look. If it was just a kiss, I’m sure she can get past it. She’ll give you hell for it though.” 

Alden stayed silent again. 

“Was it more than a kiss?”

“No, no! Just that. But—“

Jeremy was starting to understand. 

“Parker, don’t tell me you’re questioning everything right now?”

“I’m lost, Jer. I love Y/N so much, she’s my world. But I can’t shake the feeling that— Joy reappeared for a reason. You know?”

“And that reason was her stupid ass son.”

“He’s a good kid.”

“Don’t. I’m not going to support this bullshit, Alden.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means—if you end it with Y/N to get back to Joy, you’re making the biggest mistake of your life. You’ll regret it faster than you can imagine and believe me, I’ll be right here to say “I told you so””

“Thanks for your support, friend.”

“You’re my brother and I love you, and it’s my job to tell you when you’re being the biggest idiot.”

Alden drank the rest of his beer in one swallow. Jeremy wasn’t moving. He was waiting for his best friend to come to his senses. 

“Will you take care of her?” Alden asked. 

“What?”

“If I— make the biggest mistake of my life. Will you take care of her?” 

Jeremy only saw Alden crying twice. After the accident, and at this very moment. He seemed heartbroken and genuinely torn apart by what he was feeling. Jer wanted to shake him off, but realized there was no point. 

“Yes. We will.” He reassured him. 

Inside the house, you were playing on your phone with Eli. When the commercials were over, he stood up to get his dad and goddad but came back quickly without them. “Auntie. Uncle Den is crying!”

“What? Are you sure?” 

He nodded so you rushed to the backyard. Eli was right. Alden was crying. You immediately kneeled down in front of him, and grabbed his face. “Alden baby, what’s wrong? What’s happening?” 

He loosely wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in your neck. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. You looked at Jeremy for some answers but he avoided your eyes. 

“Sorry for that? Alden, look at me. Talk to me.” 

“Please forgive me.”

“Forgive you what? What do you want me to forgive you for?”

You tried to grab his face to make him look at you but he fought off and kept his head in your neck. 

“Joy.” You simply said. 

Alden didn’t answer but he held you tighter. As if he knew you were about to pull away from him. Jeremy was still avoiding your eyes. 

“Did you sleep with her?” 

You were getting angry at his avoidance. You shouted his name, so he would stop hiding in your neck and holding you so tight you couldn’t escape. “Answer the goddamn question. And fucking let go of me.”

His hold loosened a little, and his face rose up. He looked pitiful. “Did you sleep with her?” You repeated, sharper this time. 

“We kissed.” He whispered, avoiding your eyes.

You didn’t react immediately, just took some sharp deep breaths. He kissed her. He kissed someone else. It was breaking your heart, but at the same time, maybe it was better than him sleeping with her like you thought. You could get over a kiss, right? You could forgive him for being lost for a moment. 

“Was that all?” You asked, afraid of the answer. 

He nodded, but kept avoiding your eyes.

“Fucking look at me, Alden.”

He did. Slowly. You were mad at him, hurt and felt betrayed. But you loved him beyond words, and most importantly, you didn’t want to lose him over a kiss.

“I’m sorry.” He said. “I’m lost.”

“What do you mean, you’re lost?”

Alden was nervously rubbing his hands and he looked down at his feet again. You grabbed his chin, forcing him to look you in the eyes. “Stop stalling.” You were getting angrier and angrier. 

“I just–I don’t know what to say, sweetheart. I’m sorry for the kiss, for doing this to you. I hate myself for it.” He gently grabbed your hand that was still on his face and covered it with both his hands. “But I– I don’t know what I want anymore.”

You instantly took your hand off his despite the grip he had on it and you leaned back. Away from him. The tears that had been frightening to fall were now rolling down your cheeks.

“You don’t know if– you want to be with me or with her?” You sum up.

“Baby, I–”

“You’re telling me that– you’re ready to throw everything away. The past two years we’ve had together, our upcoming wedding, projects we have– for an ex, that you hadn’t seen in forty fucking years? That’s what you’re saying, Alden? You saw her only days ago, but you’re willing to risk losing me over her?” You didn’t know how you manage to say all of this despite feeling your throat closing in. You were choking up, but you needed to understand. You needed him to speak up, no matter how bad it could hurt. 

“I just need some time.”

At this moment, you stood up so fast your head spinned for a second. Or maybe it was the shock of what was happening. 

“Time? You need time?” You started to move like a lion in a cage, fighting off your tears as much as you could. Alden stayed seated, looking down at his shoes again. “Look at me you fucking coward.”

You knew this word would get a reaction out of him. He stood up too, grabbed your face to make you stop moving.

“I love you.” he choked up. “But I need closure.”

Those words broke your heart. You knew what it meant. 

You pulled your face off his grip, looked down at your engagement ring for a moment before taking it off and putting it in his palm. “Go for it.”

You walked past Jeremy, Becky and Eli - who didn’t understand what exactly was going -, grabbed your stuff and left. 

~

It’s been a week.

A week since you last saw Alden, a week since he broke your heart into thousands of pieces. A week since you walked home and trashed his greenhouse, because you couldn’t control yourself nor your pain. You knew it wasn’t a way to react, that it was impulsive, but when you got home to get some stuff, you looked around in tears. You saw pictures framed of the two. You didn’t mean to throw it on the floor at first but as you held it, you got madder at his face. His smile. You couldn’t hit him, but you could destroy that picture. From this, you completely dissociated, walked into the greenhouse and broke everything. Throwing the pots on the floor, ripping his flowers, destroying his expensive telescope. In retrospect, you’re mad at yourself for doing all of this, and even considered apologizing to him via text. But you never brought yourself to do it. Not even when he texted to check up on you or tried to call. 

You considered going over to Tay’s house, but decided against it and found a hotel to stay in. You didn’t want to see anyone, face anyone. You couldn’t face reality. For an entire week, you stayed in, barely ate, only texted Tay and Jeremy to let them know that you were indeed alive. But that was it.

Alden has been miserable through the entire week. Barely slept or ate, he wasn’t even bringing pastries to his team anymore. He met with Joy a couple of times but it didn’t feel right. He didn’t push her away when she kissed him, but stopped her when she wanted more. She said she understood it wasn’t easy for him, that she’d give him time to process the breakup, but the next minute, she was all over him. This wasn’t going the way he imagined. He was more lost than a week prior, because living without you felt impossible. He knew he couldn’t have it both ways, that he needed to make up his mind and stick to it. But all he’s been wanting to do was seeing you and holding you. 

He remembers coming home after that night at Jeremy’s and finding the pictures framed all over the floor and the greenhouse completely trashed. He deserved it. He spent hours cleaning, saving what could be saved. He tried to repair his telescope, even asked Tim for some help but his younger coworker told him he may as well buy a new one. 

The team was worried about their leader and they were thinking about interfering. They didn’t know exactly what had happened, but they were investigators so they figured out the big lines. 

“No pastries today?” Nick asked Jess and Tim as he walked into the bullpen. He saw Parker’s coat on the back of his chair so he knew the senior agent was already in.

“Nope. And he’s in a mood.”

“Did you find his fiancée?” He asked Tim.

“I didn’t like doing it, but yeah, she registered in a hotel last weekend. Been there since.”

“So they are officially broken up?” Jess joined.

“Looks like it.”

“Boy, I hope he’s not seeing this Joy woman.”

Of course, this was the sentence Alden heard as he came back from accounting. “Gossiping about my love life? Seriously, don’t you have anything better to do?”

“We’re just worried about you, Parker.” Nick told him.

“I don’t need you to worry about me! I don’t need you to figure out where Y/N cause I already know! And I most definitely don’t need you to do something about it! Are we clear?”

“Yes, sir.” They all agreed.

He stayed a long time at the office after everyone was gone. He didn’t want to go home to an empty apartment. It still smelled too much like you, your presence was overwhelming as all your stuff was still there. Not that he wanted you to come get them. 

It was the middle of the night when he got back to the apartment. And when he heard noises coming from the bedroom, he immediately reached for his gun and slowly walked towards the noises. “Federal Agent!” He called out. “Come out with your hands in the air!”

As he was about to reach the door, it opened to you. You were completely unbothered by his gun pointing at you, just walked past him to go to the bathroom. But you were stopped by his hand grabbing your wrist. He whispered your name, shocked to see you here. “Wh–What are you doing here? How are you?”

“I live here.” You just answered. “You want me gone? Then throw me out.” You tried to keep walking to the bathroom but Alden didn’t let go of your hand.

“No, no! I don’t want you gone! I–I’m not throwing you out. Wasn’t in the first place. I’m just–I didn’t expect to see you here. You’ve been ghosting me.”

“Oh and that surprised you?”

“I guess not, I just– I didn’t want things to happen the way it did.”

“Look Alden, I’m about to pee myself here. So let me tell you why I’m here. I’m not going to make this easy on you. You want to see her? Fine. But you’re not doing it here. You’re stuck between me and her? Too bad, I’m not leaving my spot. Also, you’re making all the calls for the wedding. You’ll call the guests, the caterer, the venue, the minister and tell them you’re canceling it. You should deal with the consequences and I’ll make sure that you do.”

You pulled your hand away and he let go. You really needed to pee. And when you got out of the bathroom, he was still there. Leaning against the wall, jacket off and gun pulled away. He looked miserable. But it was all his fault.

“I’m not seeing her.” He informed you. “I just said I needed time.”

“So what? I should’ve stayed here, and waited until you may or may break up with me? Sit here and wonder if you’re coming home late because you’re with her?”

“Isn’t that what's gonna happen now that you’re here?”

You let a humorless laugh. “You didn’t get it. I’m here because this is my home. My name is on the lease, I pay half of the rent, my whole life is in here. I’m not giving that up, whether or not we’re broken up. And if that causes you trouble, then perfect.”

“So, we’re like what? Roommates?”

“If you want to put a label on it. You ruined my heart, Alden and I’m letting you ruin my whole life.”

“I never asked you to leave, Y/N!” His voice rose up, as he was getting angry. “I never wanted you out of my life! I didn’t even want to cancel the wedding, okay? All I needed was to figure things out!”

“But it wasn’t figuring out what suit you’re going to wear! It’s figuring out if you want to be with me or with her! Do you honestly think I would marry someone if I’m wondering if he really wants me?”

“Wait–” he stayed silent for a second, taking a deep breath. “Are you saying that–if I tell you I still want to marry you in two months, you wouldn’t want to?”

“I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering if you’re still thinking about her.” You didn’t know why but your voice got softer at this moment.

His eyes started to watered. “I kinda feel like you’re actually breaking up with me, right now.”

You silently cried for a moment. “You broke my heart, Alden.” you whispered. “I felt betrayed and rejected, like I’ve felt my entire life until I met you.” 

Alden fell down against the wall until his butt hit the floor. He was silently crying, hating myself even more. “Then–Why are you here?” He struggled to ask.

You kneeled in front of him. “Because I’m pregnant.”

Alden’s brain froze for a very long moment. Did he hear you right? or was he hallucinating? Was it a dream? Were you really pregnant? With his baby? He stared a blind spot for several minutes, but finally looked back at you. He wanted to smile. Despite the horrible circumstances, despite how you got to this point. You were pregnant. You were carrying his baby. Silently, he extended his arms, tentatively trying to touch your stomach. But you stopped him. “Don’t just yet.” It hurt you more than you could’ve imagined to say those following words, “I’m considering abortion.”

His brain froze again for a moment.

“Wait, what? No!” He got on his knees. “Princess! No. I know it’s your body, but I probably shouldn’t be doing this but please, let’s talk about this. You’re pregnant.” More tears fell down his cheeks, but it wasn’t sadness. “You’re carrying our baby.”

“Alden—“ you choked up. “Don’t make this harder than it already is, please.” 

“I can’t let you have abortion without talking it through. I can’t.”

“I said I was considering it.” This time, he managed to hear his hands on your stomach and you didn’t pull away. You were ugly crying by now. “That’s not how I imagined this would go. It should’ve been the most amazing news of our lives, but now—it feels wrong.”

“Wrong? That’s the furthest thing from wrong.” He gently held your face. “It’s far from ideal, it’s—messy if you want to put it that way. But we can figure it out. We can make it work, one way or another.”

“I don’t want to do the coparenting thing, Den. I want to raise my baby with its father, my husband.” 

“And I want to kiss you right now.” He whispered.

“Please don’t. Don’t choose me because I’m pregnant. I could never be happy with that.”

“I understand. Really, I get it.” Silence filled the room again, except for sniffing and deep breaths coming from both you and Alden. “How about we get up now and sleep on it? You can take the master bedroom.”

You followed his lead and stood up. “Did you really think I’d sleep in the guest room?”

He chuckled softly. “Of course not. I just need my shorts and phone charger.” 

Neither of you slept. 

You didn’t want to tell him about the pregnancy just yet, nor like that. You wanted to wait a little and see how things were, see if being around him could help you make a decision. But he knows now, and it may have been easier if he said he didn’t want this baby.  

But Alden wanted this baby. He’s never been this close to being a dad. No woman has ever been pregnant with his baby. And the fact that it’s you—he wants to erase those past two weeks. Erase his doubts, erase his behavior, erase the hurt and pain he caused you. He never doubted his love for you, though. He knows what happened in his mind, he’s known before tonight. Maybe he should just face it and admit it to you. 

You woke up in the morning to the smell of food. Your favorite breakfast food and it both made you hungry and nauseous. You rushed to the bathroom as soon as your eyes opened, and Alden immediately joined you as he saw you running. He kneeled down next to you, holding your hair as your morning sickness hit. He gently rubbed your back. Once you were done, you sat on the floor against the wall. “I’ll get you water.” 

“No. Give me my toothbrush first.” 

He stood up, grabbed your toothbrush that you left there (you only packed a few clothes the week prior and bought the rest), added some toothpaste on it and handed it to you. You brushed your teeth while staying on the floor. 

“Do you want me to carry you to the couch?”

“I’m pregnant, Alden, not invalide.”

You walked to the kitchen with your baby daddy on your toes. 

“I cooked but I don’t know if you’re gonna be able to eat. Or maybe you want something else? Any cravings?”

You sat at the kitchen island and buried your face in your hands. “Alden, stop. Don’t act like your usual loving and caring self.”

“Ooookay. What am I supposed to do then?”

“I don’t know.”

He put a big glass of water in front of you and sat on the stool next to yours. He made you spin so you were facing each other. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

You took a deep breath, “I’m listening.”

“I always knew I’d come back to you.”

“What?”

“I needed closure with Joy. Subconsciously, I was hoping you’d let me—“

“Do your thing with her and wait patiently until you come back?”

He sighed. “It’s horrible, I know. It was selfish and wrong, and just plainly— jerk behavior.”

“I’d say asshole. Dumbass. Dickhead.” 

He sadly chuckled. “Whatever word you want to use, they are all valid.” 

“Basically, you wanted me to give you a pass on this.”

“Something like that, yeah.” 

“When did you reach that conclusion?”

“A few days ago. I ran into Max and his mom, and poor little guy was so upset at us—“

“Oh my god! His game!”

“Yeah. We missed it. And I tried to explain to him that we had some issues, and after he stopped pouting, he actually listened. I told him I’ve had a problem in the greenhouse and that I’d loved his help to get it back the way it was. And I guess from what I told him, he understood that you were temporarily away. And he told me, “We have to make the apartment spot clean for when Y/N comes back.” From there, my mind—“

Alden watched you as you stood up and went to get something from the closet. Then you walked towards the front door with a gift in your hands. “Where are you going?”

“Apologize!”

He didn’t move until you came back, which wasn’t long after and the gift was still in your hands. “They are not home, I’ll try again later.”

“He’s not mad at us, I made sure of it.”

“I know, but we promised we’d be there. And we didn’t show up, he probably felt so sad.”

Your emotions overwhelmed you and you started to cry there, sitting on the couch. Alden sat next to you, hesitating for a moment before hugging you. You didn’t push him away. “He still loves us.” He assured you.

“I still love you but it doesn’t make it okay.” 

You regretted saying it as soon as it left your mouth, but Alden uncontrollably smiled. Silver lighting. 

You let Alden hold you for a moment, because it felt nice on some levels. You still couldn’t believe what he put you through though. “We were doing so good.” You whispered. 

“I know. I’m not even sure I understand myself.”

You stayed silent once more. 

“So, you didn’t—sleep with her?”

“No.”

“Well—maybe you should.”

“Wait, what?” Alden shifted, clearly taken off guard. He gently grabbed your chin to make you face him. “Are you seriously telling me to sleep with someone else?”

“Yes.” You said with eyes full of tears. “Maybe that way you can totally put it behind you.”

“That’s—crazy. Absolutely crazy.” He moved down to his knees. “I couldn’t go that far, princess. I did see her and we—made out, if we can call it that. But it felt wrong, so wrong. I wasn’t kissing the right person. When she was touching me, I kept thinking that only you can touch me. Only you know how to touch me. My entire world felt out of place. I think the sixteen years old in me wanted it, but fuck I’m not sixteen anymore. I’m a stupid old man, who’s so in love with a woman too young for him. A woman who definitely deserves better, because she’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met and I failed her.” He held your face in his big soft hands, and pressed his forehead against yours. “I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you let me.” He kissed your nose. “I’ll make sure our little one knows how precious their mama is and that we are the luckiest.” You were both crying. “Please.” He added. 

“You know those Moroccan pastries we had in a little shop in New York?”

“Sure. Kaab al ghzal.” He said in his best accent possible. 

“I’m craving them.”

He chuckled softly. “Then I guess I’m going to New York.” 

“Actually, I, um—there’s this new musical on Broadway—“

“Then I guess we are going to New York.”

“Two different bedrooms, Alden. Connecting at best.”

“I can deal with that. What else?”

“Your treat.”

“Obviously. That it?”

“You leave your phone here.”

Dilemma. He wouldn’t do it in a heartbeat if it wasn’t for his work. He’s technically off for the weekend, but being a Federal Agent comes with a lot of inconvenience, and being called at any time any day is one of them. But he saw in your eyes how serious you were. It wasn’t about his work, which is something you’ve always understood and were mostly okay with. It was about him showing you he meant every word he said. 

“Let me just inform the team.”

[beeps-mess]

call and answer (if you fall, i'll pick you up) | Ziva & Jimmy

Summary: Jimmy being there for Ziva through figuring out she's pregnant with Tali

If you like my writing PLEASE reblog it so others can find it easier

ao3

Jimmy Palmer got attached to everyone. It was a known fact, one that his friends loved, even if it got him into some interesting situations, to say the least.

Specifically though - Jimmy was horribly attached to Ziva. Ziva, who had left NCIS, left their family, to stay in a place where he couldn't comfort her in the way they both knew she needed. He was upset, but he understood. He understood the want for a break or to even start over, especially after the loss of not just their year, but of the job and all it came with.

So, when Ziva called Jimmy one bright and early morning to tell him that she wouldn't be coming home and that, yes, she was safe, he didn't put up a fight. He accepted the news and promised to let her tell Tony, Gibbs, Tim, and everyone else in her own time.

Jimmy was the first to know that Ziva wasn't coming back home and he was also the first to know she was expecting.

Ziva had told the lanky doctor about the time she spent with Tony when he found her hide-out, that they had slept together, basically confessed their mutual love for each other in everything but words, and that they watched the other leave, not knowing when the next hello would be. When she called him in the middle of the night, rambling about pregnancy tests though, he was surprised, to say the least. She had told him they used protection, that precautions were taken, but as she listed off the pregnancy symptoms of morning sickness, extra trips to the bathroom, and a late period, they had their answer. They waited for the tests to be done just to confirm the idea.

Ziva's hands shook as she put the test down, set the timer, and picked up her phone to leave the bathroom. Her voice shook as she paced her living room back and forth, passing by the couch that Tony called Gibbs on with every lap of the room. She was stressed and being open about it, not sure about what to do when she got the result and what they meant.

When their timers went off, one on both ends of the phone, Ziva returned to the bathroom, and suddenly her end of the line went silent. She hadn't hung up the phone but was face to face with something she hadn't considered to be happening to her at all, if not for a long time.

They stayed on the phone together until Jimmy had to head to the office. There was a case, as always.

He spent his days sending the women articles and papers on parenthood, ones that he approved of or found helpful while he was preparing for fatherhood.

The doctor had offered to fly out to his best friend many times, but they both knew he couldn't take time off work or leave his family. So, instead, Ziva allowed for him to send her baby supplies, either from his own collection or from buying online.

Ziva texted him when her water broke, that she was going to the hospital, and that she had people there to help her through it. The actual phone call that Tali had been welcomed to the world happened after he had put his own daughter to bed. Victoria was passed out in her bed when her father's phone rang. Jimmy dashed across the house to grab it.

The new mother sounded exhausted on the line but had wanted to call Jimmy, to let him know, that Tali was born, and that he was her godfather. Neither of them had dry eyes at the end of the call.

Right as he was plugging in his phone for the night, he received a message from Ziva, a photo of a small and asleep baby attached. Tali was beautiful, and Jimmy dreamt about meeting her, holding her, and hugging her mother that night.

Jimmy Palmer got attached to everyone. It was a known fact, one that his friends loved, even if it got him into some interesting situations, to say the least.

Specifically though - Jimmy was horribly attached to Ziva. Ziva, who had left NCIS, left their family, to stay in a place where he couldn't comfort her in the way they both knew she needed. He was upset, but he understood. He understood the want for a break or to even start over, especially after the loss of not just their year, but of the job and all it came with.

So, when Ziva called Jimmy one bright and early morning to tell him that she wouldn't be coming home and that, yes, she was safe, he didn't put up a fight. He accepted the news and promised to let her tell Tony, Gibbs, Tim, and everyone else in her own time.

Jimmy was the first to know that Ziva wasn't coming back home and he was also the first to know she was expecting.

Ziva had told the lanky doctor about the time she spent with Tony when he found her hide-out, that they had slept together, basically confessed their mutual love for each other in everything but words, and that they watched the other leave, not knowing when the next hello would be. When she called him in the middle of the night, rambling about pregnancy tests though, he was surprised, to say the least. She had told him they used protection, that precautions were taken, but as she listed off the pregnancy symptoms of morning sickness, extra trips to the bathroom, and a late period, they had their answer. They waited for the tests to be done just to confirm the idea.

Ziva's hands shook as she put the test down, set the timer, and picked up her phone to leave the bathroom. Her voice shook as she paced her living room back and forth, passing by the couch that Tony called Gibbs on with every lap of the room. She was stressed and being open about it, not sure about what to do when she got the result and what they meant.

When their timers went off, one on both ends of the phone, Ziva returned to the bathroom, and suddenly her end of the line went silent. She hadn't hung up the phone but was face to face with something she hadn't considered to be happening to her at all, if not for a long time.

They stayed on the phone together until Jimmy had to head to the office. There was a case, as always.

He spent his days sending the women articles and papers on parenthood, ones that he approved of or found helpful while he was preparing for fatherhood.

The doctor had offered to fly out to his best friend many times, but they both knew he couldn't take time off work or leave his family. So, instead, Ziva allowed for him to send her baby supplies, either from his own collection or from buying online.

Ziva texted him when her water broke, that she was going to the hospital, and that she had people there to help her through it. The actual phone call that Tali had been welcomed to the world happened after he had put his own daughter to bed. Victoria was passed out in her bed when her father's phone rang. Jimmy dashed across the house to grab it.

The new mother sounded exhausted on the line but had wanted to call Jimmy, to let him know, that Tali was born, and that he was her godfather. Neither of them had dry eyes at the end of the call.

Right as he was plugging in his phone for the night, he received a message from Ziva, a photo of a small and asleep baby attached. Tali was beautiful, and Jimmy dreamt about meeting her, holding her, and hugging her mother that night.

[taiblogcomics]

Deadshot Through The Heart

Hey there, succulent Chinese meals. It's Thanksgiving! And I know one thing we won't be grateful for: this issue of Countdown. Like, the good news is that Superboy-Prime isn't in this one. The bad news is this issue is still one of the worst~

Here's the cover:

Okay, kind of a cool cover. Like, I think actively shooting at Jimmy Olsen would draw in the readers. I dunno if these are the best Parademon designs, though. Like, these don't look so much like Darkseid's minions as they do a group of henchmen on The Venture Bros. Is Darkseid a member of the Guild of Calamitous Intent? Wouldn't that be an entertaining concept~? I think Darkseid would generally respect the Guild's rulings, but would terrify them into letting him get away with his infractions. That might be good fanfiction. Anyways, cool explosions, decent cover. Let's move on to the terrible contents.

But first, the recap: Jimmy Olsen has been press-ganged into servitude of the great Darkseid. Mary Marvel has denied Eclipso's attempt to do the same to her. The Multiverse Crew is still searching for Ray Palmer. Pied Piper and Trickster are still trying to escape from the Suicide Squad. Karate Kid and Una are in Bludhaven searching for a cure to their future space disease. Holly Robinson and Harley Quinn are still in Amazon training camp prison hell. Superboy-Prime was a nasty piece of shit for two issues. And we're still reading this comic.

So we open on a panty shot of Mary Marvel, recovering from that asteroid explosion she was in last issue. You know, just to set the tone. Eclipso teleported them to safety at the last minute, and Mary muses whether she'd've been better off getting exploded. Eclipso thinks she's ungrateful, and Mary's like "Grateful for what? Getting sold to Darkseid?" Eclipso posits that this was part of a master plan that would've put her in a position to get close to Darkseid enough to defeat him, because she's definitely that powerful. So, in a way, she didn't give her to Darkseid, she gave her all of Apokalips.

At this point, Mary's a bit tired of being jerked around. Once again, Eclipso is just someone lying to her for their own ends. She doesn't care for some long drawn-out plan to play at Darkseid's concubine until an opportunity to defeat him arises. After all, we saw what happened to his last concubine in this comic already. She attacks Eclipso, prying the black diamond from her hand, musing that maybe diamonds aren't a girl's best friend after all, blasting Eclipso with her own power. Honestly, good for her. Took long enough, honestly.

Meanwhile, down on the surface of Apokalips, Jimmy Olsen is learing that being a slave sucks. While they can't push him too far, since the last guy who did so got blasted by Darkseid, they can still torment him plenty. To his credit, Jimmy's not letting it break him, and he continued to be defiant to his captors. As they push him onward, Jimmy instead catches notice of another rag-dressed lower-dweller. The mysterious hobo pulls him aside, and reveals himself to be… Mister Miracle, Scott Free! Well, if anyone can help Jimmy escape, it'd be him.

Scott and Jimmy catch up, and Jimmy extends his condolences to him regarding Barda's death. And just to show you how hard it's hitting him, Scott doesn't even want to heard it, he's just broken by it. Like Jimmy and Forager, he's here because of the New Gods killings. Rather than tracking the killer, though, he's trying to find where the souls that haven't crossed into the Source have gone. His Motherbox has led him here, but there's nothing. Well, he's got one more thing to try. Since Jimmy' powers activate when his life is in danger, Scott decides to… throw Jimmy into a firepit. Um, that seems a bit extreme, but Scott's a desperate man right now.

Now let's cut over to a brief one-page conclusion to the last issue. Don't worry, Primey the Whiny won't be making an appearance, but we do get to see what happened to Mr. Mxyzptlk. And even though he was shirtless the whole issue, this issue he reappears in the Fifth Dimension in his full suit. Anyways, he manages to reappear right in Ms. Gsptlsnz's lap. While she frets over him, he begs her to seal off the dimension before "he" comes back, saying he can never go back there. And indeed, as far as I can tell, this was Mxy's last appearance until the New 52.

Over with Pied Piper and Trickster, Trickster is being homophobic again. He says the worst part of being chained to Piper for so long is that it's colouring people's perceptions, like he's gay by proximity. Oh no. How terrible for you. Furthering it, Trickster also jokes that riding so many trains like a 1930s tramp have made him hobo-sexual instead. Showing he's the bigger person, Piper actually laughs at this one. The pair of them almost share a moment, even referring to each other by their first names instead of supranyms.

The moment is interrupted by Deadshot, once again having tracked them down. Even he apologises for ruining the moment. They manage to dodge him, and Waller calls Deadshot up to remind him to take them in alive. Which is good, coz Deadshot was also making homophobic remarks in his anger at their dodging. The anger only goes up when they fake surrender in a trap to throw battery acid at him. While he's reeling at this, they use their shock handcuffs to clothesline him out of the train, but Deadshot manages to hang on by Trickster's cape, attempting to pull him out with him.

This actually gets pretty nasty, with a painful shot of Deadshot pressing Trickster's face into the ground while they ride past. Piper's horrified, and Deadshot drops an outright slur as he falls off the train. He aims at Piper, but despite the pain, Trickster jumps in the way to shield Piper. The pair have gotten away once again, but… Trickster's dead. He dies from the bullets (one in the heart, one in the head) he took, in the arms of the man he was mocking for his sexuality only minutes ago. That's how this comic ends.

Well. That sucks. Goes to show, just coz they're one of the protagonists of the story doesn't mean they're going to make it to the end. But yeah, this really sucks if you were a fan of the Trickster and were hoping to see him get over this homophobic period. No such luck! At least his last words weren't anything of the sort (he instead jokes about the cool scars he's going to have after having his face scraped on the ground, and suggests they do the same to whoever invented these cuffs). But still, I dunno. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth seeing him go out this way: in the pages of Countdown, I mean~