#the summer between year 5 and 6 is one of the darkest times of her life full of grief and fights with rodolfo and delving into dark magic | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thecursedvaultchild · 5 years ago

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"The truth hurts, doesn't it?"

Summary: Summer Charn and her grandfather, Rodolfo Selwyn, have an interesting chat.

“Angst and fluff prompt: 76. For any character of your choosing. Let the feels commence!” @caustic-curses

Thanks so much for this blessing 💚 I’m using it as an excuse to write some good angst I’ve been sitting on

Deep in the rolling hills of the green English countryside stood a manor. It was old, with ivy slowly carpeting the worn stone. No light shone out of any window into the gray sky, save one. One had the steady flicker of a fire interrupted with bursts of colorful lights.

Inside, two figures occupied the space, holding wands in their hands. The first was an elderly man with a burst of white hair and stern face, clothed in well tailored velvet. The wand in his hand was actually a well polished cane topped with a dark emerald. The second was teenage girl, hair shockingly silver enough to compete with the old man, dressed in an assortment of rock getup and witch attire. Both radiated exhaustion but their eyes glimmered with determination.

The man raised his wand, shooting out a burst of energy at her. She was knocked off her feet and he leered at her.

“Is that the best you’ve got, girl?”

Her only response was a growl as she shoved herself back to her feet and jabbed her wand in his direction.

“Tarantallegra!”

With nimbleness belying his age, he dodged out of its way. “Oh, this is hopeless. How have you maintained a perfect winning streak at Hogwarts? What are they schooling you in, fair play? Taking turns? Mercy?”

He shot at her again and as it hit, she cried out in pain. But it was cut short as her tongue became tied up. Her blue-green eyes burned with fury and that fury channeled through her wand and fired. His body began to tremble and shake and he nearly collapsed to his knees, leaning heavily upon his cane. Just as quickly as it had started, it ended.

The shock slid off his face as it was replaced with satisfaction.

“There you go, girl! You cast a powerful curse nonverbal. Keep at it and no foul wizard will stand a chance against you.”

She was too busy undoing the Tongue-Tying Curse but jutted her chin out. He stroked his chin, green eyes narrowed at her.

“Though… I do wonder where you learned to cast an Unforgivable Curse. Surely not your school that treats you all as invalids unable to take a few scratches. And I certainly never taught you it.”

“It was Rakepick.” Her fist clenched around her wand, knuckles white. The very yew wand the former professor had purchased for her. After breaking her first one. “And I’m going to kill her.”

A single eyebrow rose and for a brief second, she thought her mother was standing before her. But no. It was her grandfather. Whom her mother resembled.

“I know for a fact you can’t cast that curse, girl, otherwise you would’ve tried it out on whatever poor plant you had failed to kill yet.”

“I don’t recall you having much of a green thumb, either, Grandfather.”

“Such a controlled temper, young lady,” his tongue clicks against his teeth, “that serves you well in dueling. Somehow.”

“…teach me.”

“Teach? Teach you what? I’ve already been trying to educate you in the finer points of dueling, you silly girl, though I’m not certain it’s sticking.”

“No, I meant… Please. Teach me the Killing Curse.”

“That’s illegal, you know.”

“When have you been one to respect the law and not dance with it. Besides, wouldn’t you rather I do it under your supervision than experimenting on my own?”

His fingers drum against the top of his cane. “You make a fair point, girl.” Her eyes lit up. “But not now. I require preparation for such a lesson.”

“Are we done here? We’ve been dueling for over an hour.”

“Patience, girl. We are not done. And I know that if I let you leave, you’ll go to your grandmother’s piano and play the Muggle trash.”

“I have patience but it’s quickly wearing thin with your pointless dueling! And Queen is not trash!” she snapped at him, moving to pass him.

His eyes became piercing. “Summer Gwyndolyn Selwyn Charn. Sit. Down.”

No. She had had enough. The rage and grief that had been stewing in her ever since she’d come home for the summer finally bubbled over.

“No! I’m sick and tired of you bossing me around! And I’m so over you despising everything I do because I’ll never compare to Jacob in your mind!”

“Is that what you really think I think of you?” His voice was even. It grated at her.

“Well,” her own voice was taut, “it seems apparently obvious.”

“Remind me to add Legilimency to the list of things you require further practice in. As you’ve clearly never read my mind, or, if you have, you only touched the surface. You see, Summer, I never favored Jacob and despised you. I despised Jacob and favored you.”

Her jaw dropped open. She couldn’t help it. Legilimens. She dove into his mind, her emotions giving her strength to do so nonverbally. His mind… It was all right there. Everything she had thought she knew about her grandfather’s opinion of her… was a lie.

“The truth hurts, doesn’t it?”

All she could manage was a scathing glance, shutting her mouth.

“It’d be so much easier for you to think I hate you, girl. That I’ve never liked you and could care less if you die. Because I’ve been so hard on you all these years. But you have accept the fact I do care so blasted much.” He waggled his cane in her face. “You’re the only family I’ve got left, missy. And I’ll be damned if you die.”

“You only care so the Selwyn line won’t die completely and not just in the male line.”

He cackled. It crawled across her skin. “So much denial. No wonder you picked up Occulmency far quicker than your brother ever could. As always, the more talented of the two.”

“So you’re telling me everything—bcoming an unregistered Animagus, making it to prefect, shooting for all Outstandings on my O.W.L.s— you pushed me into doing wasn’t to try and prove myself just as good as him? It was—”

“—to prove you were better than him. You’ve got potential and I didn’t want you to squander it like he did, like Donovan did. We don’t need another Selwyn melting into the background or dying with a bad reputation. We need the greatest witch of her time.”

If he expected a wince or a snappy remark, there was none. Her eyes were cold and dark like the overcast sea. She nodded slowly. “I am the greatest witch of my time. The whole world will know it. Once I claim victory in the last Cursed Vault, they’ll never doubt me again.”

“I don’t want to hear another word about those blasted Vaults again!” His cane hit the floor with a resounding thud.

“Why not?! Why have you been so against them? You want me to bring glory to this dying house, don’t you? The Vaults are the perfect way to do it!”

“There is a time for seeking glory and a time to know you’re in over your head and should put courage aside to live another day, girl. Otherwise you’re one of those brainless fools who die with nothing to their name!”

“I’ve succeeded where everyone else has failed!”

“You could’ve been killed!”

“But I haven’t!”

“Not yet!”

“I can handle it!”

“You’re a child fighting what she doesn’t understand!”

“Then tell me! Tell me what I’m missing!

“I REFUSE TO SEE YOU WASTE YOUR TALENTS AND PERISH LIKE WISTERIA AND IEFAN AND JACOB AT THE HANDS OF ‘R’!”

Silence followed.

“…I miss them too.” To admit weakness was a risk, she knew. But, maybe… just maybe, it’d help widen the crack in his mask.

Exhaustion dragged at him and he wearily made his way over to the nearby sofa. It was easy to forget how old he was with him still being a very active wizard. But the years were catching up to him. His veiny hands trembled while holding his cane. A slight stoop in the shoulders hunched him over. His white hair seeming less a fashion statement and more just the effect of age.

She hesitantly sat down next to him.

“Summer. You must understand. Family is the most important thing.” His hand, shaking, was carefully placed atop hers. “I… we’ve lost so many. We’re all we have now. I couldn’t bear to lose you too. To ‘R’, to Death Eaters, to those blasted Cursed Vaults.”

He looked up into her eyes. “You are talented and have so much potential. You’re all I have left now.” A faint smile crinkled his face. “You’ve got Edith’s eyes, you know that? Sweet witch, like no other… Do you remember her, Summer?”

She nodded, swallowing. She remembered her grandmother. Rodolfo had been so much happier with her at his side. She had taught her piano and helped her care for the stray creatures the young girl picked up.

Then… she had died.

Summer had watched her. That’s how she could see thestrals. Rodolfo closed himself off from the world, burying himself in his work. Grudgingly, she could admit they were alike in that way, handling grief through distractions up to their necks.

Edith, Jacob, Wisteria, Iefan… and she supposed Clive and Donovan too. In some way, they had lost all of them. To death or some unknown fate, cut off from their family. The Selwyns were nearly gone.

She lightly squeezed his hand. “I’m not going to die, I promise. But I’m also done letting Jacob be the reason I do everything.”

“Good,” he nodded, voice hard.

“I’m going to do everything for me now. Including going after Rakepick. You can’t stop me from that and pursuing the Vaults.”

“Fine. Just… let me help you. Teach you things.”

She nodded back, lips trembling. “I will. I’ll make you proud.”

“You already have.”

And there they remained, this awkward family, grandfather and granddaughter with no one left, gripping each other’s hands.

Fin.

#hogwarts mystery #hphm #hphm jacob #hphm jacob's sibling #hphm fanfic #hphm fanfiction #summer charn #angst #feels #have all the feels of this rollercoaster of a ride #fun fact rodolfo was a renowned dueler (duelist?) in his day #i really enjoyed writing this #hphm year 6 #the summer between year 5 and 6 is one of the darkest times of her life full of grief and fights with rodolfo and delving into dark magic #and over year 6 she grows mentally healthier and happier #after spending so much of her life with Jacob at the focus of it #she puts herself at the focus

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epicstuckyficrecs · 4 years ago

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Weekly Recap | February 8-21 2021

You get two weeks worth of fics this time because I got too busy last weekend and didn't have time to do my weekly recap :)

Complete

Evanstan Week 2021 by luninosity/ @luninosity (Evanstan | 10K | Mature): All my Evanstan Week little fics!

1. dodger 2. kisses 3. on set 4. first times (a first kiss, at least) 5. in space (alternate universe) 6. fluff 7. holiday

💙 Remote Access by Kalee60/ @kalee60 (Modern AU, Roommates | 57K | Explicit): Bucky Barnes was in trouble. More trouble than he ever thought he could get into as a grown adult. And it was caused by two singular factors that should never have become entwined.One, his god-like housemate Steve Rogers, who was unfairly handsome and the perfect specimen of man in not only looks but personality - and completely out of Bucky’s league.Two, Bucky’s obsession with a new toy he’d purchased to fill his lonely nights (and other areas).But when Steve buys a new TV, suddenly these two seemingly separate parts of Bucky’s life crash together in a spectacular and obsessive way.Bucky soon finds himself not as in control as he thought - and that’s when things start to get interesting…

💙 Black and Blue by darter_blue/ @darter-blue, the1918/ @the1918 (Modern AU, Spies & Secret agents | 7K | Explicit): CIA Agent Bucky Barnes and Captain Steve Rogers, Army 207th, Military Intelligence, are two American spies working for two different intelligence agencies. They've developed somewhat of complicated relationship while chasing down the same leads.

Until One Day, We Won't Be by the1918/ @the1918 (Evanstan RPF | 8K | Explicit): Six times Chris and Sebastian were alone. [+ one time they were not.]

💙 How to Bang Your Weapon (in This World and the Next) by Brokenwords, elkane/ @elkane, Hark_bananas/ @harkbananas, kocuria-visuals (kocuria)/ @kocuria, Nospheratt/ @nospheratt, profoundalpacakitten/ @profoundalpacakitten, ScrambledScript, sublimepigeon/ @sublimepigeon, ursa (Canon Divergent, WS!Steve, WS\Bucky, Multiverse | 50K | Explicit): Hydra knows how to get the Asset to do their bidding. When they want a new Captain, a new Steven Grant Rogers from another universe to help grow Hydra’s collection of supersoldiers, of course they send the Asset. But little do they know that in any universe, a Bucky will always find a Steve, and a Steve will always protect a Bucky.

💙 What lies they told us by darter_blue/ @darter-blue (Mobster AU | 42K | Explicit): Steve Rogers might still see his ma every Sunday, but he isn’t the dutiful son. He gave up that life a long time ago. Bucky Barnes may be following in his fathers footsteps, but he wants to set a path to something more than where they’ll take him. Steve and Bucky’s lives have always intersected. There is something between them that exists, real and palpable. But they are opposite sides of a coin. Opposing families in a war for money and power. Blood and pain. And fate may bring them together, again and again, pulling them closer. But it always finds a way to rip them apart. What they need is a way to fight fate. To fight their families. To reach each other. To keep each other.

the prosecution rests by dirtybinary/ @dirtybinary (Post-WS | 3K | Teen): The Asset has to admit, ending a mission with Captain America crying into his lap is pretty unexpected. Even for him, and he is trained to anticipate all contingencies.

💙 The Seed and the Root by the1918/ @the1918 (Shrunkyclunks, Post-EG | 32K | Explicit): His hands and mouth are gentle on the outside, but on the inside, Steve is burning up. He’s got everything he’s ever wanted on the bed and land beneath him, and now it’s so much at once that he’s afraid he’ll combust into white, nuclear light. (Part 3 of 💙 Song of the Rolling Earth)

Burning For You by musette22/ @musette22 (Evanstan RPF, Non-Famous Sebastian | 3K | Teen): Sebastian gets a little carried away when raving about the Mountain Lodge candle to a friend. It leads to an unexpected, fragrant encounter.

At The Bottom Of Everything by Anonymous (Evanstan RPF | 12K | Teen): Six years. That’s what they’re celebrating. Six years, of them. Of this. That's what Chris is happy about. Until the phone rings. Until he turns on the news.

💙 Slip Of The Tongue by this_wayward_life (Shrunkyslunks, Soulmate AU | 6K | Explicit): Mr Perfect Ass is even prettier from the front. His braid is loose enough that strands of hair have fallen to frame his face, and an oversized scarf is pulled up to just below his pouty, red mouth. He's big, with wide shoulders and thick arms and thighs that are straining at his jeans, and he's staring at Steve with a blush on his face and the prettiest eyes Steve has ever seen."Oh, god," Steve blurts out. "Please sit on my face."

(series) Kinktober 2020 by this_wayward_life (31 works | 80K | Explicit)

The Best Handjob Of Bucky Barnes's Damn Life (Handjob)

Soft (Eating Out)

The Benefits of A Sugar Baby (Thigh Riding)

Black and Blue (Choking/Spanking)

Black Mesh, Red Leather (Daddy Kink)

Thank God For Company-Sanctioned Teambuilding Workshops (Blindfolded)

The Only Thing School Football Is Good For (Blowjob)

Your Body, On Crumpled Sheets (Voyeurism)

Feeling Just Peachy (Accidental Stimulation)

Blood-slick (Knife Kink)

Bury Me (Restraints)

Summer Nights (Fingering)

Beautiful Shackles (Public Sex)

You Are My First, And You'll Be My Last (Sixty-Nine)

Cover My Body (Size Difference)

All Plugged Up (Toys)

the tenderest touch leaves the darkest of marks (Begging)

Sugar Cookies (In the kitchen)

Seeing Double (Threesome)

I'll crawl home to him (Edging)

Your Voice In My Ear (Phone sex)

Hold Me Close, Keep the Monsters at Bay (In the shower/tub)

Keep Me Warm (First Time)

He never asked me once about the wrong I did (BDSM/rough sex)

Unexpected (Caught masturbating)

Overcome (Overstimulation)

In the Crowd (Orgy)

Praise Your Baby (Praise kink)

Grab on my waist and put that body on me (Dirty talk)

Rediscovery (Mutual Masturbation)

Think I Found Myself a Cheerleader (Dressed up)

WIP

💙 Underneath the Shattered Sky by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Planet Hulk AU, Post-Endgame | 14/? | 55K | Mature): “I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you.” Steve sounded choked. “I’m sorry. It was out of line.” “It’s really okay.” “No, it’s not. You’re not him. You’re your own person, with your own history, your own thoughts and feelings. Your own life here. I can’t expect you to be him. It’s not fair. To either of you.” “Maybe not,” Bucky huffed back. “But in this universe, my Steve’s an asshole who left me. And in your universe, your Bucky was taken from you, so I don’t really know what’s fair anymore.”

💙 and the river flows beneath your skin by Deisderium/ @deisderium (Boarding School AU, Soulmates | 3/? | 20K | Mature): In which Steve and Bucky are forced to room together their senior year at boarding school, and accidentally soul bond to each other even though they kind of hate each other. All they have to do to get out of it is not kiss each other for a year so the accidental bond will fade. How hard could it be?

💙 The Root and the Stalk by the1918/ @the1918 (Shrunkyclunks, Post-EG | 3/6 | 18K | Explicit): “My mom, she’s not perfect, but she always had this one saying. You can’t look right into the sunset, because the light will burn your eyes. So you have to face east, right?” Bucky tucks his forehead against Steve’s chest, staring down the gap between them, eyes on their feet. “And when you do, you can look at the ground, and you can see your own shadow.” Bucky raises his head after a contemplative silence and gazes up at Steve. Those stormy gray eyes are filled with luminance, iridescence, splintered rays of shining light. “Or—Mom would say—you can look in front of you.” His lashes kiss his cheeks in butterfly pulses every time he blinks. “And ‘God’s light at your back will show you everything.’” (Part 4 of 💙 Song of the Rolling Earth)

💙 Revenance by by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel, SinpaiCasanova (Bladerunnerblue) (The Old Guard AU/The Song of Achilles AU | 20/? | 62K | Mature | Warning: Violence, MCD): And perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone. Or, the one where Steve and Bucky are immortal and used to be known as Achilles and Patroclus.

💙 my soul and my youth (it’s all for you to use) by voxofthevoid/ @voxofthevoid (Post-Endgame (non-compliant) | 1/2 | 7K | Explicit): He waits until Bucky’s got a happy mouthful of eggs and toast. “I want to fuck you when you’re asleep.” Steve smiles his sweetest smile, and Bucky’s eyes narrow further, until they’re luminous blue slits. He swallows. Steve helplessly tracks the bob of his throat and drags his eyes back up to Bucky’s. “Steven Grant,” Bucky says, tone somewhere between amusement and admonishment. “Way to spring that on a guy.”

Re-read

I [Heart] You by writeonclara (Canon, magic curse | 1K | General): “Steve’s been hit with a curse,” Natasha said. She said it calmly, so Bucky didn’t immediately go flying out of the apartment to tear apart the Tower in search of Steve. Then again, Natasha would probably be calm if New York City spontaneously burst into flames. He lowered the coffee pot and squinted at her. “Of course he has,” he said. He felt, abruptly, exhausted. “What is it?” “The witch kept ranting about sexual repression and archaic moral principles,” she continued blithely.

#stucky #stucky fic #stucky fanfic #stucky fanfiction #stucky fic rec #weekly recap

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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 4 years ago

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There is a light at the end of the tunnel

Hello, Stuck. Sorry, I don’t know your real name.

I wrote this long ass post to bring some light into the fandom and between the CSs, and I hope you can post it? I’m new in the Tumblr world, but not in the 5H fandom. I don’t quite know how it works yet and, for the moment, I only know your blog and those of @emisonme, @karlaswine, @sun-to-my-luna, @underthatimpression, and @mentesimploria because, in one way or another, you’re all connected to each other. I just wanted to tell you guys how much I appreciate every single one of you, the passion you have, and the hope you keep alive among those who, like me, love the girls. Also, the patience you guys have, especially against the haters, is admirable. I love the fact that you keep going. Because this is your sacred place, as it should be.

This is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. I’m what can be defined as a ‘silent fan’. I never commented on anything in the girls’ posts, not even on the fan accounts I follow. I don’t have Twitter. I have Facebook but it’s like I don’t have it because I don’t use it. I have Wattpad (obviously). I recently registered here on Tumblr, and I have Instagram. That’s what I use. It’s the only app along with YouTube that I use daily to keep up with the rest of the world. Especially the American part of the world. I’m Italian, but I speak American English well, and I apologize in advance if my lazy ass hasn’t noticed possible grammatical errors. I saw that a lot of you are into this stuff, so I thought I’d add it just because. I’m a Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon, and Virgo rising.

I’m gonna turn 29 on December 22, and this is a BIG fuck off to all the people who have attacked you lately for your age. This is personal information that I give freely to make ignorant and small-minded people understand that, in this context especially, age is irrelevant. As you, little fucker who hides behind a computer to attack people just to feel stronger, have a life, we have it too. Like you, we have a life, a job, friends, etc. We also have passions. Passions that yes, my dear haters, also include shipping people. I don’t know why in your stupid brain we’re too old to ship people we love and to give opinions about it. I didn’t know it was something reserved only for those who still smell like mommy’s milk. But anyway…

I became aware of 5H existence just before summer 2015 thanks to ‘Worth It’. Being Italian, however, I had no idea who they were, and to be honest, I didn’t go searching for them. Randomly one day then, I ran into Camren on YouTube. I can’t remember which video I was watching, but I know for sure it was about ‘Heya/Brittana’ (Heather Morris and Naya Rivera/Brittany and Santana, my very first hard LGBT ship). And among the suggested videos, there they are. As ridiculous as it sounds, and although I liked them as soon as I saw them, I didn’t go searching for them. I did it when ‘Work from Home’ came out though. From there, I connected that they were the same ‘Worth It’ group and the same two girls I liked from those YouTube videos. I had officially become a fan. I was screwed. Screwed because, I’d officially entered one of the most messed up and yet most beautiful fandoms ever.

As I initially said, this is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. But after the recent events, seeing how many people gave up, it made me a little angry and gave me the strength to speak for the first time. I thought the first time would’ve been through the fanfiction I’ve been working on for over two years, but no. Lauren and her beautiful mouth had to terrorize, disappoint, panic, and make angry 80% of CS, thus fueling the hatred of all the other fandom towards us. So I decided to speak now. Maybe, just maybe, this very long ass post of mine is gonna help struggling CS. Maybe, just maybe, it’s gonna make them reason and bring them to their senses.

So. This, as I think you’ve understood, is about Lauren and what she said in the podcast. This is a reminder of the Laucy situation. These are things we already know and that I want to remind you of because apparently, my lovely fellows CS, either you have a short-term memory, or Lauren has the power to create amnesia in people’s minds and I knew nothing about it. Surely this power of hers didn’t work on me and a few others.

Oh and, before starting: 1) You may disagree with me. It’s normal to have different opinions. 2) You can search for information such as dates, easily on the internet. 3) I’m gonna use nicknames on PRs for fun. That doesn’t mean I hate them. I have my reasons for dislike each one of them as people, but I can assure you it has nothing to do with the fact that they were or are the Camren beards. An example to make you understand what I mean is Ty. I’m a huge Ari fan and I’ve been listening to ‘safety net’ non-stop for two days straight. I really dislike Ty as a person, but I separate the art from the artist.

Okay, that said, I can start.

Lauren said: “I knew I was queer because I fell in love with my best friend when I was like 15.” – “Her and I started to have a physical connection when I was 15.”

Lauren and Lucid Vivisectionist met when L moved to Carrollton in 7th grade. Lucille moved back to Puerto Rico in February 2012, returning to visit Miami occasionally (this explains the fetus pictures with Lucy and Camren at L’s house). In February 2012, Lauren was 15, Camila 14, and Lucy 16. And who did Lauren meet when she was 15? Oh yeah, Camila. C and L did the first phase of the audition, the ‘cattle call’, on May 1, 2012 in Greensboro, North Carolina. Audition where Camila took courage to speak at the (“Oh my God that girl is) literally so beautiful” girl from which she felt intimidated by starting that adorable brief conversation “Hi, I like your shirt”, “Thanks. I like your jacket” just before it was her turn to get in for her audition. In May 2012, Lauren and Camila were both 15 years old. Lauren and Camila saw each other again for the first time on July 25th, two months later, in Miami on the first day of boot camp, and it was Lauren herself who went to Camila: “You’re the Cuban girl!”. In July 2012, Lauren was 16 and Camila was 15.

Lauren said: “She came back into my life when I was 18. I was on tour and I was in my room in a hotel somewhere, and she called me.” Let me explain to you why I think this is true.

Lauren and Luxy reconnected with each other after Lucy’s car accident that took place on May 15, 2015. Lauren was really 18 in May 2015, and we can rule out The Reflection Tour dates because it started on February 27, 2015, and ended April 6, 2015. We can also rule out these other show dates that 5H did: April 11 in Jackson Township, New Jersey - April 13 at Live! with Kelly and Michael in New York - April 19 Lauren was at Coachella with Keana, Britt, and other friends - April 22 at the Worldwide Radio Summit in Hollywood - April 25 at Radio Disney Music Awards 2015 in Los Angeles - May 8 at Channel 93.3 Summer Kickoff 2015 in Chula Vista, San Diego - May 9 at Wango Tango 2015 in Carson, Los Angeles (May 9, rumors about Camila and Louis Tomlinson just because paparazzi believed they were together when Louis was actually together with Liam outside the Project Club L.A., and C who was at the club next door) - May 15 at KDWB Radio Show in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

The rest of their program and possible date: May 16 at Kiss Concert 2015 in Mansfield, Massachusetts - May 19 at Dancing with the Stars in Los Angeles - May 30 at G-A-Y in London (rumors about Lauren and Louis Tomlinson this time, born because 5H went to Libertine nightclub with Louis and Niall) - May 31 at Britain’s Got More Talent in London - June 2 at Capital FM in Birmingham, England - June 5 at Good Morning Britain in London - June 6 at Capital FM Summertime Ball 2015 in London - June 12 at Aloha Stadium in Honolulu, Hawaii - June 14 at LA Pride 2015 - June 18 at Jimmy Kimmel Live in Los Angeles - June 20 at B96 Pepsi Summer Bash 2015 in Bridgeview, Illinois - June 23 at San Diego County Fair 2015 - 28 June at Show Of The Summer 2015 in Hershey, Pennsylvania - July 10 at Rockefeller Plaza in New York. July 15, 2015, beginning of Reflection: The Summer Tour.

June 27, 2015 Lauren turned 19, and do you guys remember the events of those days? Because I do.

On June 24, 2015, Lauren celebrated her birthday in advance at the famous sushi restaurant ‘Katsuya’. Among the guests were the girls, her mom Clara, some friends, including Jill (the same Jill/Jillian Gutowitz who worked with Zack Sang and who 5H met on April 22, 2015, at the Worldwide Radio Summit, which lasted for three days but they were present for two: 22 and 23. The same Jill who wrote the article for AfterEllen on January 25, 2016, about her experiences with women who denied their sexuality. Remember the story of Lauren Jordan, right?), and Noah Benardout (may he rest in peace). Still no Lucia, not even on the days when Lauren returned to Miami to celebrate with her family before resuming the program from the 28. As I already said, The Reflection Summer Tour began on July 15, 2015, and Lucy’s first public reappearance took place on one of the tour dates, that is, July 27 at Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

From that moment on, we saw Lucille appear on multiple occasions in hops through time. After the July 27th date, we saw her during the trip to Hawaii with Lauren and Keana in September, followed by the concert that the girls had on October 10 in the Bahamas, where they stayed with their families and friends for a few days. After the Bahamas, the mess happened between 5H because they found out about Camila’s departure from the group which initially should’ve been immediate, but for which they fought and gained another year. That, was also the time when Laucy signed their PR contract. As we know from Lauren herself, that was the worst and darkest time for her. That was the beginning of her numbness.

On October 23, they were on their way to Italy and Lauren wrote on her dark diary, the one shown to us in Episode 8 of her Attunements. On October 24, they arrived in Milan for the MTV Europe Music Awards 2015 occurred on October 25, and on October 28, in Madrid instead, there was the interview with Alyson Eckmann, the journalist Camila flirted with while Lauren was sitting right next to her.

Going forward, in November we have:

- Rumors about Lauren and Julius Dein (his friend who is a YouTube magician).

-The release of IKWYDLS including the rumors about Camila and Shawn and Michael Clifford (who was already in the picture) who were ‘vying for her’.

- Beginning of Lauren’s coming out plan which included: 1) The release of The Vamps’ album on November 23rd, that is, a week after the release of IKWYDLS, and which included the track ‘I Found A Girl’. Joe O'Neill, the manager of The Vamps, liked that famous tweet. Despite the efforts to make us believe that Bleahren (sorry for the Italian pun I made here, but ‘bleah’ in Italian is equivalent to the ‘eww’ to indicate something gross, and therefore Bleah-Ren) Brauren was real and that the girl involved was Lucille and not Camila, they’ve miscalculated since Lauren and Brad ‘dated’ in 2014 when Lucy had not yet returned into Lauren’s life. But since the album and consequently the song came out on November 23, 2015, they tried to manipulate people’s minds as usual. 2) Jill’s article that served to connect and more or less ‘confirm’ the story between this Jordan and her childhood friend, Lauren-Lucy.

- December: completion of the 7/27 album + Dina LaPolt’s entry + renegotiation of the contracts (mostly DNA’s contracts) + FIFTH HARMONY MUSIC, INC. created by LAND on December 21 to prepare for the transfer of the 5H trademark, the FIFTH HARMONY PARTNERSHIP, of which they became owners from April 27, 2016 + change of management from Faculty Management: Jared Paul and Janelle Lopez, to Maverick Management: Larry Rudolph, Dan Dymtrow, and Tara Beikae. [All things that were possible ONLY THANKS to the exit of C from the group]

- January 2016, we have Lauren and Lucrezia who came back from Colombia to then taking a road trip for Lucy’s birthday week.

- Jill’s article came out and coincidentally, by pure chance, exactly two days later, on January 27, 2016, Camila and Dinah were hacked.

- On March 9, 2016, Lauren, Normani, Andrea, Dinah, and Keana went to pierce their ears, or rather, Laurmainah pierced their ears, mama Dre and Keana just accompanied them. During her turn, Lauren asked Keana to take her phone to make a video. In the meantime, Mani was filming Lauren, and again by pure chance, Keana, who was in the heart of the frame, took Lauren’s phone as she’d asked, and both the lock screen and the home screen portrayed a picture of Lucania during a photoshoot. Same picture Lucy herself posted on Instagram on April 10th to leave no doubt.

- April 24, 2016, Coachella together.

- Luciana went with 5H in London, in May, during the promotion of the 7/27 album. (+ Camren video of May 28, 2016)

- She was present during the start of the tour in South America on June 26th (in the evening during the concert, L danced Big Bad Wolf for her, but that’s not the famous video, that was on September 5) and 27th to celebrate L’s birthday together (picture of the 27th of them in Buenos Aires).

- June 27, 2016, on L’s birthday, Jill posted a picture with L from the birthday dinner of the year before, further confirming the story of ‘Jordan’.

- August 1, the national girlfriend day, L posted a picture of her and Lucy.

- From August 12 to 21, Lucy was with them. The night after the concert on the 13th in Rochester Hills, Michigan, videos in which Lucilla appeared during Lauren Fuller’s birthday celebration at the hotel for dinner. On the 14th in Noblesville, Indiana, during Gonna Get Better and Big Bad Wolf Lauren smiled in Lucy’s direction who was in the audience. On the 18th in Virginia Beach, Virginia, a fan met Laucy in a movie theater restroom, taking a selfie with Lauren (C posted a picture of her in the dark with the words of Bad Things “don’t think that I can explain it” the same night).

- On September 4 and 5 Lucippe returned. On the 5th in Houston, Texas, the famous ‘super HD’ video took place in which Lauren danced Big Bad Wolf for Lucy, even pointing to her during her verse. [On September 6, Midland, Texas, during the Q&A, Lauren wore the same dress that Lucy was wearing to the concert the night before, and at the same time, she sat next to C and got jealous when C complimented a fan by sending her flying kisses. Ahh… The irony]

Now. Let’s move on to the part of the podcast where Lauren explains about the kiss with Lucza at her uncle and aunt’s wedding, how her aunt “super innocently” posted the pictures on Facebook that her “unreal invasive fans” found and posted, how Perez Hilton outed her to the world by posting an article with those pictures, how she did nothing for a week, and that after thinking “Ok, it happened. People know. What am I gonna do?”, she wrote that letter against Trump as her own way of coming out.

On November 4, 2016, Lauren and Lucynda did the ‘famous’ photoshoot in New Orleans called ‘Bare With Me’. Lauren flew to NOLA right after Halloween, got back to Miami to vote, then returned to New Orleans on the 10th along with her family for the wedding. Lucianna was also with her on the 10th for the rehearsal/bowling with all of Lauren’s relatives. Meanwhile Orange Trumpeter was elected on the 8th, and many celebrities were preparing to write a letter through Billboard against him and his supporters. Labels and management saw it as a perfect opportunity to get her to come out also considering how much Lauren has always been vocal on the subject, and THEY contacted Billboard to get her to participate in exchange of the exclusive of her coming out. All that was missing was the evidence to make sure that there had been no connection with Camila, and that was the reason for the kiss at the wedding on the 11th.

On November 13, the wedding photographer posted those pictures on his website, including the one of the kiss. And I’m sorry, Lolo, I love you but, really? Who are you kidding? The pictures didn’t start spreading because her ‘unreal invasive fans’ found them on her aunt’s Facebook page where she’d posted them ‘super innocently’. The pictures started spreading after the photographer posted them! And you know what’s even more funny? That to see those pictures on the website, you needed an access password. So what are you saying here, Lo? That your ‘unreal invasive fans’ were so good, to even have hacked their way into the website for pictures they didn’t even know existed? It wasn’t your team, was it? Oh, okay. My bad.

Sarcasm aside. The pictures started to spread, Perez tweeted about it on the 14th, and in the meantime Lauren had time to write the letter that was approved by the labels and sent to Billboard (on the 14th), who approved it a couple of days after it was sent (on the 16th), and which they then published it in the article two days later (on the 18th). In all of this, on November 15, 2016, the girls all went to Epic’s party. Since we know very well that most of the cases of coming out as bisexual in the industry made by a female celebrity occur in succession with the connection with a guy, that night there was the PR proposal between Typo Dolour Signal and Lauren that he obviously accepted, and in fact, he was there that night at that party too (Picture of C with a tear mark on her cheek).

Now, the icing on the cake of the Laucy’s PR: Nicole Cartolano. Nicole is a friend of Lecy’s with whom she had already worked together and who also posted pictures of Lauren on November 17 and 22, 2016, one on December 31, 2016, together with Marian Hill taken backstage after Lauren’s performance with them on the 30th, the night before, for the Snow Globe Festival in South Lake Tahoe, California, and the one of Laucy (with the piñata) on January 10, taken the same night to celebrate Lucilia’s birthday at midnight and that Lauren also used to post it for wish her a happy birthday. That was the last public interaction between the two. *Slow entry of Tympans Dollhouse Signalized in the picture from January 4, 2017, thanks to that tweet*.

On January 21, 2017, Lauren and Lucy were at the same Women’s March, but separately (single), and we haven’t seen them together anymore. LuBYE. On March 22, 2017, both ‘Bare With Me’ and the interview article Nicole did with MTV News (she confirmed that Laucy had been together by having an on-again, off-again for years and also said a lot of other bullshit like the fact that the girls were nervous because they didn’t know how their parents would’ve responded) came out. On August 13, 2018, Nicole officially apologized to Lucy for being angry with her for posting the pictures and therefore for having outed her and for having taken part in the MTV interview without their permission. There was also the screenplay made by Nicole’s mom to make everything even more true.

Bullshit on bullshit on bullshit. Number 1, Lauren herself confirmed in this podcast that her parents knew about her, and said how much she loved Lucre’s ‘I’m out and proud’ part.

Number 2, Nicole posted a preview of the pictures on March 18, 2017, so if she really wanted to stop her before the publication on the 22nd, she would’ve had time to do so.

Number 3, Lucita came out publicly on her own with that Spanish post on Instagram on November 20, 2016, saying in summary that she was anything but straight because she didn’t want to label herself (she did it years later by saying she was a lesbian).

Number 4, as Lusia also confirmed in that post where Nicole’s mom left that comment, Nicole signed a non-disclosure agreement form. If she had actually violated it without having had a release and written consent form, she would’ve been sued.

Number 5, if Luciferase really wanted to have that conversation in private with Nicole’s mom, she might very well have done so. She could’ve contacted her and answered her IN PRIVATE for real, and not via IG where EVERYONE saw and took the side of poor, poor Luckless.

Number 6, the biggest proof that shows the hypocrisy of all this, Lucasta continued to work with Nicole. Their last work dates back to November 25, 2019.

Okaay, sure… sure, because it was normal for her to continue working with the person who outed her, wasn’t it? People’s lies never cease to amaze me. For that matter, Nicole also posted a picture of their ‘adventure’ as they made their way to the photoshoot location on November 1, 2017, and continued to wish them both a happy birthday with posts every year.

And lastly, on June 6, 2020, we have the Lucerne’s video leaked (+ old pictures and videos of 5H) where she burned pictures of Lauren and of the two of them together in 2017, accompanied by the tweets occurred two days later, in which she explained that she was hacked and that she burned the pictures for a closure. Then, exactly 20 days later, that is on June 26, 2020, the PAPER Magazine article of Lauren’s interview came out. What a coincidence! In that article, Lauren explained, along with other things, that she’d been in love with her best friend for 7 years.

Lauren, honey, the maths, the maths… If according to your words you fell in love with her at 15, got together with her at 18, and broken up at 20, how can these be 7 years? It’s 5 years… And as if it wasn’t enough, still according to your words, after 1 year and 8 months (from mid-May 2015 to mid-January 2017), 2 months of which public because of the wedding pictures, of the relationship you wanted at all costs, “all in” and “now we’re gonna be in this relationship”, you broke up with her because she was really toxic, and after less than a month, you started dating an even more toxic person without the proper time to heal?? How do you expect me to believe you? And I’m putting aside the fact that I know they’re both PR relationships. I’m speaking out of logic. How? How can I believe you? How does this make any sense?

Personally, yes, I believe Lauren and Lucy have a past. Lauren’s first kiss was when she was 13 (8th grade) with her boyfriend at the time, Dominic, but I think Lucy was her first kiss with a girl. And I think it happened when she was 15, but in 2011, so long before Lucy left. Lauren dated Paul Martinez from June 4, 2011, to the end of July (around 23/24). From after Paul, until her very first PR at X-Factor, Keaton Stromberg, she was single. I truly believe that before she met Camila, Lauren and Lucy did everything Lauren said. I really believe Lauren experimented with her in secret, but I don’t believe in anything else she said at all.

This is my opinion. And in my opinion, Lauren always knew she was queer, and Lucy was the first with whom she could experience the attraction and the feelings towards girls she had always felt and concealed deep inside herself. But they were friends. Just friends. Friends who messed around and experimented together in secret given the environment that surrounded them. Lucy then returned to live in Puerto Rico and they simply drifted apart because of the distance and Lauren’s busy schedule with 5H. When she came back into Lauren’s life, they rekindled their friendship. Just that. Also because, Camila, hello? Camila entered Lauren’s heart the same year Lucy left and never get out of it. Not to mention that Lucy had a girlfriend, Sarah Scott Narcise, before getting together with Nicole Marie Rendón in March 2017. I honestly think that Lucy was also giving advice to Lauren about her relationship with Camila, and I also think that now they really aren’t friends anymore for something we don’t know about, even though I have my theories… But anyway. Lauren needed a beard to be able to come out, Lucy needed visibility for her modeling career and, at the time, also for her music which, however, never saw the light of day. The labels approved because they would’ve done anything to keep their chosen one out of the gay light. Camila also approved. Boom, PR.

I don’t believe all the other bullshit she said during the podcast. Because if they’d been true, they would’ve made logical sense. A sense they’ve been trying, and failing, to give for years. If Lauren really didn’t want to come out, she wouldn’t have done a photoshoot with Lucy a week before the wedding with the intention of using that same photoshoot to come out. She would not have kissed Lucy in a public place during the wedding pictures in front of a professional photographer hired for the event, knowing full well that those pictures would eventually have been published by the bride and groom, her aunt and uncle, and the photographer himself. If she wanted so badly a picture of her kissing her girlfriend, drunk or not, she would’ve taken her fucking phone and take selfies. It wasn’t the fans’ or Perez’s fault. It was the management that was following the plan.

And I’m supposed to, what exactly? Forget all these things, things that have been proofed multiple times in the past, because Lauren, or Camila, or management, or labels, or their contracts, must continue with their stupid narrative? Because Camila must continue to look straight and continue to look in love with Shalt Menstruated because the señorito is about to release his documentary and his album? Because Camila’s movie is about to come out? Because Lauren’s own album is about to be released and because the subject matter of her female-pronounced songs must only and exclusively be related to Lucy? (Although I think her album will be out next year. I think a song with female pronunciation is coming out soon. And no, I’m sorry, I don’t think it’s Burning)

Guys, come on…

Think about it. She used Lucy as a shield to tell part of her story with Camila that happened in 2014. It all fits. Even the story told through songs from Camila’s cocky POV, including ‘Like Friends Do’, ‘Eyes on You’, ‘Cleopatra’, ‘Leave for Good’, and a couple from her last album like ‘Should’ve Said It’ and ‘Feel It Twice’.

I understand why many of you have been hurt by this podcast and by Lauren herself. I understand why a lot of you are angry about the things she said. I see you, I understand, I really do. And everyone is free to feel whatever they want, I’m not saying otherwise. But I really don’t understand why you’re hiding or why you’re abandoning the ship. Authors who don’t wanna write anymore. Accounts closed. Names changed. Hope lost. This, all this, makes me angry and hurt. Because you fell for it. And you know why you fell for it? Because Lauren changed her approach. Leaving aside the part just before when she said: “Even when I talk about it, and I don’t talk about it because I’ve learned to just ignore it because-” and there, I swear I had to pause because I burst out laughing, and I was like: “Bitch, you’re the one who pulled this out of your ass out of nowhere right this second, what are you saying?”. She went on by saying, and she knows us so well because of this: “I just chose to ignore it at a certain point because getting angry to them would it mean that it was real and validate it more for them”.

And it’s true. This non-angry approach of hers, worked like a charm. Lauren’s older, she’s more mature than before. Although she was very nervous, she managed to explain everything calmly. The fact that she was emotional and almost cried in many parts, it really gave an extra boost to what she tried to sell. And I’m not saying she faked almost crying. Hell, no. That was super true and hard for her. I’m saying though, that it’s really easy to manipulate people’s minds, and Lauren used her real pain, the real suffering she has gone through over the years to tell this charade. That’s why it seemed so real. And I’m supposed to fall for that shit just because that’s what they’ve wanted for years, right? Convenient much?

Guys, please. You’re smarter than that, use those beautiful brains. For example, the fact that Lauren said: “I was queer, but she was not”, wrong as you want it to be, and “Camila and I were just really good friends at that time”, yeah, sure, Jan. Doesn’t the very fact that she used the past tense make you realize that it was done to completely detach herself from her IN THE PRESENT? Everything she said was for something. Everything had a purpose. And the goal is always the same. Make us stop shipping ‘em. Putting a label on C only served the Shoestoremila purpose, nothing else. And those were words that came out of the mouth of the one who says she doesn’t like labeling people. The same one who was pissed that someone had outed her before she wanted to. Do you really think she’s that hypocritical?

The fact that she put all the CS in the same box, especially when she talked about the Daddy situation, WAS DONE ON PURPOSE. She couldn’t fail to generalize because their purpose is, and will be for a long time to come, to kill Camren. That means the whole fandom. Not just invasive elements. But really all the CS. The purpose was to make us feel guilty. The purpose is to make us accept that it was never real, and since we care about them, to make us continue to support them individually and not as a couple, even though she knows that the real CS do it regardless. This, is called manipulation, guys.

Think about everything else too. The inconsistency. The holes in her story. The lack of explanations. And the fact that during the story of how it all happened, she jumped from one theme to another and therefore managed to deflect and not completely finish one before moving on to the other, doesn’t it make you understand that she didn’t want to give too many details? And when does that usually happen? She knew we’d analyze her. She knew she couldn’t say too much. When she talked about Lucy, she knew that WE know she was talking about Camila, and with too many details, it would also have been obvious to the others because WE would’ve pointed it out to everyone. I mean, it’s obvious enough in itself, imagine if she’d fed us more information that we would’ve compared in the timeline.

Please, guys. I know that it feels like something’s changed, but it’s not. It’s really not. I’m appealing to all of you. Open your eyes. Reason. I know many of you still have conflicting emotions and feelings, and that’s okay. If you’re still upset, if you still wanna cry, then cry. Do whatever helps you feel better because, especially after the haters have come to bite your asses, you’re entitled to feel the way you do. But please, please, don’t give up. If you give up, you just play their game. You just do them a favor. You guys had invested so much of your time, so much of your passion, so much of yourselves to just, give up. Think of all we’ve been through, especially those who’ve been in the fandom for years. Think about how happy Camren makes you. They were there for you when you needed them. When you were going through hard times. I know they’ve helped a lotta people.

And think about this too. Lauren herself said at the beginning of the podcast: “The news and the media are constantly spinning narratives for your clicks so they can make money”. And what do you think this podcast was for? It’s always the same shit. Have you not noticed how the very same news and media have ALL talked about them? Didn’t you notice how My Oh My magically returned into the charts? How 50ft surpassed the 9 million streams on Spotify? And you still have doubts?

This is instead for the CS who get often angry about their actions. I personally think it’s pointless to blame Lauren and Camila for every single thing they do that has been PLANNED for them. Especially Camila as far as Shonas is concerned. There’s a pattern here too. Lauren had her light PR with Lucia. Lauren then had her heavy PR with Typic Dole Sight while Camila had a light one with Eatchu. And now Camila’s having a heavy one. C’s one is heavier simply because they’re much more famous than PRen (Tyren) were. So, guys, be patient. There’s really no point in getting angry and blaming them. It’s a waste of energy. It’s useless to blame them if they’re gonna continue to do so over the years to come. They’re just still trying to get past their original contracts and survive in the industry at the same time. Sooner or later, I HOPE, they will be free to tell the truth or the truth will come out on its own.

Well, I’m done. Jeez, that was long, wasn’t it? But I hope it was worth it. I hope I’ve cleared your heads a little bit and instilled some hope again. I also hope I made you smile with all those nicknames and my sarcasm. I especially hope that wherever you are, you’re having a good day, and if not, then I hope it has improved at least a little bit with this post. And thank you so much, Stuck. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to use my voice for the first time publicly/virtually. You, above all, keep on being one of the lights and NEVER let them turn you off. I love you guys. Stay safe. Stay strong. Stay patient. With love, F.

I leave you with these two pearls:

Number 1. Lauren said something else too. She said: “Don’t trust me. Go research. Go look this shit up yourself”. I know she said it for a completely different context, but I found it really funny given the situation.

Number 2. This is a small scene that automatically created itself in my head as soon as I finished listening to Wonder. I titled it: The sad and short story of the making of ‘Wonder’.

Enjoy:

*on the phone*

Shawl Mendicant: “Hey, buddy. I know you were a huge Fifth Harmony fan and I know you love my fake girlfriend, so I was thinking… could you help me? You know, I need her to stay relevant, but to do that, I also need to release music and completely take all the credit from other people because, you know, the most I do is change a sentence or two in my style to make people think that I wrote all my songs.”

Sam Smith: “………okay?”

Shawnita Menorrhagia: “So, I was wondering, can I copy your homework? You can totally refuse if you want to, but I’m hoping to appeal to the love you have for 5H and Camila, and maybe help a friend out?”

Sam Smith: “Yeah, sure, you can copy my homework. Anything for my girls. Just, change it up a bit so it doesn’t sound too obvious you just copied it.”

Shonas Mended: “Don’t worry. I’ve got this. Thanks, man.” - *ends the call*

Sam Smith looking at the phone with an incredulous expression and one hand over his heart: “I came out as a non-binary, you insensitive asshole!”

Shoes Mentionable from the other room: “Cameeela! He said yes!” *reaching then Camila and Lauren in the living room where Lauren is lying with her head resting on Camila’s legs who’s running her fingers through her hair with one hand and holding the book that she’s reading with the other one* “You were right, all I had to do was mention you girls.”

Lauren chuckling and continuing to pet Cleo who’s lying at the foot of the couch with one hand: “Told you”, to then adding: “And please, I know you’re excited because of the news but keep your voice down”, continuing to caress Sofi’s head who’s sleeping on top of her with the other one.

Shapeless Mentality: “Oh, sorry.”

Camila without looking away from her book: “Sam’s really nice. I’m sure they would’ve said yes even without the need of mentioning us.”

Lauren: “Hmm, I’m not so sure about that, babe. Yes, they’re very nice, but we’re powerful in their minds, so it was an added incentive for them to say yes.”

Shaved Mentholated: “Who are they? Weren’t we talking about Sam?”

Camila who was giggling at her girlfriend’s words:

Lauren:

Sinu from the kitchen:

Cleo who was nibbling her toy:

Even Thunder, Leo, and Eugene from outside into the yard:

*the end*

Chon Mendable: ‘Wonder’ - Sam Smith: ‘One Last Song’

____

OMG I am speechless. I’m really still digesting this whole story because it’s amazing but I wanted to start by saying hello to you and telling you my name, my name is Marite. It is a pleasure to meet you dear friend. I don’t want to write too much because your words are much more important than mine but I wanted to thank you for trusting me and my blog to tell me your story. That side of the story that, being new and not having been a harmonizer from the beginning, I never learned. I intended to ask for more information about Laucy’s Timeline but what you have told is a gem. A gem that shows that the bastards of the industry cannot fool the fans because we pay attention to everything and it is not easy for us to fall for their shit. I think the power we fans have is so great that if we all came together, we could bring down this whole fucking fake empire that they have created. That said, Laucy’s story is surprising. As planned and how each person involved had to do their part on the chessboard. Incredible. Now that you tell me that story, I think it fits the one I wrote in my once upon a time post. Sure, yours is true and has everything that mine doesn’t. I have tried to keep this blog open for all who wish to come and air their ideas, their thoughts, their tea. And you dear friend, you have been one of the best so far. You’ve given us that support that the fandom so badly needed and I really appreciate it. I also appreciate your humor, the nicknames have been so hilarious and I’m still laughing. Thank you for daring to tell this part of the story and reopen the can of worms of a PR that right now resurfaces with that Lauren interview. With a purpose, it’s true. And something tells me that we will see much more very soon. Thank you for your support, my friend. And you know, you have my blog at your disposal for whatever you need. And if you need to talk or anything else. I greatly appreciate that we can continue to keep this ship afloat among ourselves. Among a group of intelligent people who have been hurt by someone we have always loved very much even though we know the reason for all that. We can’t give up now because if we do it like you say they will win and I personally don’t plan to indulge them in that. Thank you very much for all dear friend and I hope you have a nice day. I send you a hug and I hope you stay safe.

#submission #laucy timeline #amazing #thanks you buddy #camren #f anon

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cssns · 4 years ago

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We’re here!!! *SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY* It’s time for the CSSNS20 Roundup!!!!

It has been quite a ride y’all...

I just want to take a moment here at the beginning of the post to thank everyone who has ever been a part of this event from 2018 to now. Y’all are the ones who made this event what it is and I cannot be more grateful to have had the privilege of manning the helm for the past three years. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!!! There’s been too many participants over the years to name everyone, but I have to give a shoutout to my personal support team and the mods from all three years. Each one of them has contributed in innumerable ways and this event never would have happened without each of them and their contribution. @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @katie-dub, @thisonesatellite and @profdanglaisstuff. Thank you so much ladies!!! I never could have done this without you all!!!

Now that the event is over, I want to let everyone know that I will be inviting other supernatural fic to the collection over on ao3. When I first started reading fan fiction, I stumbled across the Black Swan and Red Hooks Collection, a collection for smutty fics, that continues to grow today. I want to do the same thing with the Supernatural Summer Collection. As more supernatural fics are written, I will invite them to the collection.

We are now at the close, and it’s time to round up all the wonderful fics and art that we’ve been blessed with in this year’s event. At the end of the post, I’ll highlight all the fic from previous years that have also updated this summer. Active MC’s will continue updating until they are finished. And without further ado, HERE WE GOOOOOOO!!!!

Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.

On June 1st, @itsfabianadocarmo dropped a vampire aesthetic inspired by the Countess from American Horror Story: Hotel. SOOO incredible! It gave me chills! You can find it here.

On June 3rd, I ( @kmomof4 ) dropped Of Darkness, Vampires, and Soulmates. I figured that since this was our last year, I should write for it for once. Breathtaking art by @spartanguard. Banner Prologue Ch1 Ch2 Ch3 Ch4 Ch5 Ch6 Ch7 Ch8

On June 6th, @demisexualemmaswan dropped By the Moon’s Rise, featuring CS as werewolves. Oh my WORD! The pack politics going on…It is off to a fantastic start and I can’t wait for more! Gorgeous art by @courtorderedcake. Killian Emma David

On June 9th, @snowbellewells dropped A Cottage By the Sea. An Enchanted Forest Lieutenant Duckling AU. The last chapter left me CHEERING and I can’t wait to see where she takes this! Lovely art by @searchingwardrobes.

On June 11th, @katie-dub dropped Awakening, her fic inspired by the TV show Being Human. I am not familiar with the show, but this fic, oh my WORD!!! I had no words, and so I reblogged with gifs. Can’t wait for more!!!

On June 14th, @lassluna dropped her fic, Swan’s Hourglass, a Legend of Zelda AU. I absolutely LOVE her use of the side characters and Emma is absolutely bad ass!!! Can’t wait for more!! Beautiful Artwork by @eastwesthomeisbest.

On June 17th, @hollyethecurious dropped her Vampire Diary’s inspired The Craving In Between. Fun, intriguing, and SPICY!!! Perfect Artwork by @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713.

On June 20, @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713 dropped her original Angel!Emma/Demon!Killian aesthetic. Absolutely PERFECT!!!

On June 23, @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713 dropped another aesthetic that I was inspired to write a fic for! The Moon… Tells the Sea is the tale of were-mermaid Emma and her mate. aesthetic on Tumblr

On June 25, @eastwesthomeisbest dropped original Vampire!Killian artwork His Sweet Kiss. BREATHTAKING and sooooo chilling!!!

On June 27th, @kymbersmith-90 dropped her Soliciting for Dracula: Outtake. So GREAT to be taken back to that universe first presented during CS Halloweek last year! Original fic on Ao3 Tumblr link with art

On June 29th, @imlaxdris71 dropped her Shadowhunters AU, The Price of Blood. I am not at all familiar with Shadowhunters, but this fic is so AWESOME already and I can’t wait for more!!! I was thrilled to provide artwork for this incredible fic!

On July 2, @ohmightydevviepuu and @thisonesatellite posted The Sword and the Heart, their retelling of all of s5. Let me tell you, THIS is what we should have gotten on the show!!! I can’t WAIT for the next chapter!!! Awe-inspiring artwork by @thisonesatellite and @profdanglaisstuff.

On July 5, @snowbellewells posted For Once, Don’t Let Go, her CS ghost story. Spooky and soooo SWEET all at once!!! Chill-inducing, perfect artwork by @hollyethecurious.

On July 7, @stahlop posted Making a Memory, her fic inspired by The Parent Trap. This fic is absolutely AWESOME, y’all!!! Lisa has sucked me in to this blending of one of my all time favorite live action Disney movies and Once canon and I CANNOT WAIT for more of it!!! Lovely and perfect artwork by @gingerchangeling.

On July 9, @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713 posted her original vampire aesthetic. Mm mm mm mm mmmmmmm!!!

On July 13, @shardminds posted her Witcher AU, Silver for Monsters. I have been BESIDE myself waiting for this fic, even though I’m not familiar with the show and the first chapter did not disappoint!!! Can’t wait for more!!! Swoon-worthy artwork by @artistic-writer.

On July 15, @eastwesthomeisbest posted original Fairy artwork, Within You, inspired by Carnival Row. Absolutely BREATHTAKING!!! Then on July 26, she posted Fear Me Or Love Me… It’s All the Same, and reduced me to a screaming flailing mess!

On July 18, @lovelivingmydreams posted Labors of Love, her Greek gods AU. This fic is fantastic and I am LOVING every bit of it!! I’ve been told to strap myself in, so I have and am eagerly waiting for the next chapter!!! Beautiful artwork by @mariakov81 Banner Ch1 Ch2 Ch3 Ch4 Ch5

On July 21, @jarienn972 posted La Sirena, her Siren Emma fic. A BEAUTIFUL mystery and I can’t wait to see where she goes with this!!! Gorgeous artwork by @courtorderedcake.

On July 23, @shireness-says posted A Fate Woven in Thread and Ink, her fic inspired by The Night Circus. This fic is pure magic. Absolutely STUNNING in its beauty and I am BESIDE myself waiting for the next chapter!!! Incredible artwork by @eirabach.

On July 29, @winterbythesea posted The Truth In a Masquerade featuring dueling CS at a vampire masquerade! WELL WORTH all the teasing we endured on the discord!

On Aug. 1, @profdanglaisstuff posted The Eternal and Unseen, an epic tale of fae, werewolf, and vampire coming together to defeat a common enemy. This fic is absolutely INCREDIBLE and I can’t wait for the next chapter!!! Beautiful artwork 1 2 3 by @carpedzem.

@xhookswenchx posted her werewolf MC, Waning Moon, on Aug. 2. I am soooo in LOVE with this beautiful fic and can’t wait for more of it!!! Beautiful and precious artwork Banner 1 2 3 4 5 by @mariakov81.

@whimsicallyenchantedrose posted her MC, More Than All the Jewels in the Realm on Aug. 4. Kinda a ghost/soulmate MC. You’ll see what I mean… Absolutely FANTASTIC already!!! Beautifully haunting artwork by @searchingwardrobes.

@thejollyroger-writer posted the first chapter of THE WASTELAND on Aug. 6, where the hero group goes on a magical journey to save Killian. This world she has built is INCREDIBLE and I am loving this fic soooo much!!! Incredible artwork 1 2 3 4 5 by @spartanguard.

On Aug. 8, @imlaxdris71 posted her werewolf MC, The Beast of Aurum. My heart hurts so much for Killian ALREADY!!!! I can’t wait for more!!! Artwork by me, @kmomof4.

On Aug. 10, @eastwesthomeisbest dropped original Demon Killian artwork, I’m Your Darkest Dream. Gave me CHILLS!!!

Aug. 13, @ohmightydevviepuu posted From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea as part of her writersmonth2020 project. A 3a divergence that is absolutely HEART WRENCHING and BEAUTIFUL!!! Beautiful artwork by @mariakov81

On Aug. 14, @spartanguard posted her fix it fic for West Side Story, Even Death Won’t Part Us Now, featuring CS as vampires. I am absolutely BESIDE MYSELF over this fic, y'all!!! I love it sooooo MUCH!!! Breathtaking and perfect artwork 1 2 3 by @thesschesthair.

Aug. 18, @hollyethecurious posted her Sleepy Hollow AU, Some Legends are Best Kept as Legends. This fic is MAGNIFICENT and I can’t wait for more!!! Artwork by herself.

Aug. 20, @darkcolinodonorgasm posted her Siren Emma MC, A Song of Sin and Desire. This is gonna be an INCREDIBLE fic, y'all!!! I love it already!!! Gorgeous artwork by @artistic-writer.

On Aug. 22, @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713 posted fantastic original artwork for a fic by @teamhook that she posted in September, The Wolf and the Savior. The setup of this fic has me on the edge of my seat and I can’t WAIT to see what’s next!!!

Aug. 24, @courtorderedcake posted her demon MC, Majestically To Far Beyond. This fic really is fun and I am LOVING it, y’all!!! Can't wait for more!!! Artwork by me, @kmomof4.

Aug. 26, @cocohook38 posted her Dark Swan/Werewolf Killian MC, I’ll Be Waiting For You By the Blood Moon. This is a FANTASTIC take on the Dark Swan and I can’t wait for more of it!!! Breathtaking artwork by @eastwesthomeisbest.

And finally, rounding out our event on Aug. 30, @seriouslyhooked posted Lost Souls and Reveries: The Sequel, a continuation of her CSSNS18 fic, Lost Souls and Reveries. This first chapter was soooo precious and lovely and I can’t wait to see where she goes with this!!! Exquisite artwork by @clockadile.

Over the course of the summer, we had several fics from previous years update, in some cases, several times!

Until the Stars Are All Alight by @whimsicallyenchantedrose updated several times. Beautiful artwork by @clockadile. This is her LOTR/CS crossover and I love it sooooo much!!!!

@kymbersmith-90 updated both of her fics from CSSNS18, Slayer and Divine Intervention. Perfect artwork complements of @hollyethecurious (x) (x). Both of these fics are sooooo GREAT, even to someone who hasn’t watched either show that they were inspired by!!!

@courtorderedcake updated Hallow, her epic fic of Fae princess Emma and Dark One Killian. We have now journeyed to Sultana Jasmine’s court and we are closing in on the end of their journey!!! Latest Tumblr chapter link with art

@darkcolinodonorgasm updated One Day, her LadyHawke inspired AU that she kills me with every single chapter!!! We are now on ch5 of 7. Tumblr ch link Beautiful Artwork by @sherlockianwhovian

@eirabach rewrote her CSSNS18 submission Glow for the CS Rewritathon this spring and summer. It can be found in its entirety in the CSSNS20 collection on ao3 here. I loved it when she originally wrote it, and I loved it even more this time!!!

Well, that’s it, y’all!!!! Who would have thought when I came up with this idea almost three years ago now that we would have such participation and enthusiasm across this fabulous fandom? We have been blessed with EPIC, INCREDIBLE, GORGEOUS, BREATHTAKING, FUN, LOVELY, MAGNIFICENT fics and art these last three years!!! As I said at the top of this post, the collection on ao3 will continue to be active as well as this blog as more supernatural fics are written and shared. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for coming along on this ride with me. Y’all have all made it soooo worthwhile!!! All the love, everyone!!!

#cssns20 roundup #CSSNS 2020 roundup #event roundup

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goldenavenger02 · 3 years ago

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Susz's Halloween Recommendations Part 1: Movies, specials and TV shows.

Movies/specials

Girl Vs. Monster (2012)

Skylar, a teenage girl who discovers on Halloween she's a fifth generation monster hunter. When Skylar accidentally releases some monsters from a containment chamber she must recapture them before they wreak vengeance on her parents.

Notes: I've been watching this since it came out and it's always been a favorite of mine! Has a great message about facing your fears and not letting them control you with the backdrop of monster hunting!

Halloweentown (1998)

When a young girl living with her good-witch grandmother learns she too is a witch, she must help her grandmother save Halloweentown from evil forces.

Notes: I watched this for the first time last year, and I was pleasantly surprised even as an 18 year old!

Hocus Pocus (1993)

A curious youngster moves to Salem, where he struggles to fit in before awakening a trio of diabolical witches that were executed in the 17th century.

Notes: another movie I watched last year, and so surprisingly dark for Disney, especially in the 90s.

The Haunted Mansion (2003)

A realtor and his wife and children are summoned to a mansion, which they soon discover is haunted, and while they attempt to escape, he learns an important lesson about the family he has neglected.

Notes: Eddie Murphy trying to keep his family safe in this haunted house? It's one of my favorites!

Scooby Doo (2002)

The Mystery Inc. gang have gone their separate ways and have been apart for two years, until they each receive an invitation to Spooky Island. Not knowing that the others have also been invited, they show up and discover an amusement park that affects young visitors in very strange ways. Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy and Scooby soon realize that they cannot solve this mystery without help from each other.

Notes: this is a childhood movie of mine, and the sequel is so good as well. Definitely a good mix of spooky and fun!

Scooby Doo: The Mystery Begins (2009)

A made for TV movie about the origins of the Mystery Incorporated gang.

Notes: a high school/Disney Channel style movie with horror elements starring Robbie Ammel and Hayley Kiyoko. This one is one I've been watching since it came out and it's one of my favorites.

Coraline (2009)

An adventurous 11-year-old girl finds another world that is a strangely idealized version of her frustrating home, but it has sinister secrets.

Notes: watched this one last year and I absolutely adore it! It's so terrifying and I highly recommend.

The Boy (2016)

An American nanny is shocked that her new English family's boy is actually a life-sized doll. After she violates a list of strict rules, disturbing events make her believe that the doll is really alive.

Notes: the movie is suspenseful the whole time, and the last 15 minutes are absolutely horrifying.

Flashback (2020)

After a chance encounter with a man forgotten from his youth, Fred literally and metaphorically journeys into his past.

Notes: I watched this psychological thriller a few months ago and it has it's scary elements, but it's really interesting to see the main character descend into madness and obsession due to something in his personal life.

Edge of Winter (2016)

When two brothers are stranded by a brutal winter storm with an unpredictable father they barely know, the boys begin to suspect their supposed protector may be their biggest threat.

Notes: pretty sure this movie was filmed around the same time Captain America: Civil War, so it's very young Tom Holland, but this is a movie he is so good in. Definitely makes you wonder just how far parents are willing to go.

Hubie Halloween (2020)

Despite his devotion to his hometown of Salem (and its Halloween celebration), Hubie Dubois is a figure of mockery for kids and adults alike. But this year, something is going bump in the night, and it's up to Hubie to save Halloween.

Notes: Don't take this one seriously and you're more likely to enjoy it. Definitely more of a comedy than anything scary. Adam Sandler is very polarizing but I enjoyed this.

Hotel Transylvania (2012)

Dracula, who operates a high-end resort away from the human world, goes into overprotective mode when a boy discovers the resort and falls for the count's teenaged daughter.

Notes: a family Halloween movie that really is just a fun time.

Ninjago: Day of the Departed (2016)

On the Ninjago holiday: Day of the Departed, the ninja remeber those who have departed.

Notes: Takes place in between season 6 and 7 and really explores grief as well as the concept of being forgotten. Obviously you have to watch the seasons before to understand this, but it's really interesting to watch for sure.

My Friend Dahmer (2017)

Jeffrey Dahmer murdered 17 men and boys in the Midwest United States between 1978 and 1991 before being captured and incarcerated. He would become one of America's most infamous serial killers. This is the story before that story.

Notes: a fascinating look into an infamous serial killer, both parts fiction and non fiction and suspenseful the whole time.

TV shows

Teen Wolf (2011-2017)

Scott becomes the eponymous teenage werewolf of the series after he is bitten by an alpha werewolf the night before his second year of high school, drastically changing his once-ordinary life.

Notes: one of my absolute favorite TV shows, and perfect for the Halloween season! Especially since the movie is coming out next year!

Only Murders in the Building (2021-)

Only Murders in the Building follows three strangers, played by Steve Martin, Martin Short and Selena Gomez, who share an obsession with a true crime podcast. After a murder in their building, the three neighbors decide to start their own show that covers their investigation of the murder.

Notes: Already fantastic and season 1 is still coming out on Hulu! The blend of comedy and horror is always one of my favorites!

Cruel Summer (2021-)

The series follows two teenage girls in the 1990s and the repercussions on everyone's lives after one disappears and the other seemingly takes her place.

Notes: this has huge triggers for domestic violence, grooming and sexual assault. If you're not triggered by that, I HIGHLY recommend this, and I'm so excited for season 2! It also has some great LGBT+ rep!

Nancy Drew (2019-)

Nancy Drew (Kennedy McMann) is a brilliant teenaged detective whose sense of self had come from solving mysteries in her hometown of Horseshoe Bay, Maine – until her mother’s untimely death derails Nancy’s college plans.

Notes: I've been watching this since it came out and season 3 is about to start airing! The first season is so wonderful and full of twists and turns (season 2 isn't as good, but it's the CW) and I highly recommend!

Ninjago Season 5, Possession (2015)

The spirit of the evil Morro is released from the cursed realm and the Ninjas have to unite in the battle against an evil foe.

Notes: one of my favorite seasons of the show, and definitely one of the darkest ones! Deals with grief, depression and high expectations and it's so good!

Scooby Doo: Mystery Incorporated (2010-2013)

Scooby-Doo and the gang attempt to solve creepy mysteries in the town of Crystal Cove, a place with a history of eerie supernatural events.

Notes: this starts off similar to the original Scooby Doo show from the early 70's, but as the overarching plot gets deeper and deeper, you really spend your time just wondering "what the heck is going on".

I'm not going to put specific episodes of TV shows on here, because that'll get daunting, but part 2 is books and fics!

#susz's halloween recommendations #halloween

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writingismyhappytime · 4 years ago

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Draco Malfoy and the Hopeless Situation

Warnings: Language, Angst

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7) Aesthetic

Something is terribly wrong this year.

You're not sure how to describe it, but it's as if the very air is different, like it's heavy and thick, weighing on everyone. Your parents almost didn't want you returning to Hogwarts this year with the rumors, but you scoffed at them and came back anyway.

Now you kind of wish you hadn't.

You'd noticed your mother hasn't been speaking with Narcissa Malfoy, you've heard her whispering to your father that she doesn't dare get involved. You're not exactly sure what that means, they refuse to ever tell you anything, or just wave you off when you ask.

According to Harry, however, You-Know-Who is back, but he's also been claiming that for years. You've always been skeptical, someone just doesn't come back from the dead, but after the end of last year, with his godfather dying and everyone suddenly saying they saw the Dark Lord --- well, you're just uncertain now.

It's kind of frightening, actually. You're worried for your parents, you know that Voldemort actually targeted the pure blood families to recruit them into his Death Eaters, Lucius Malfoy being one of them; you're not sure how your parents managed to wiggle out of it, but you're glad they didn't get involved.

You wonder how Draco is fairing, what's going on at Malfoy manor. Is it really true that his family is part of the Death Eaters that are supporting the Dark Lord's return? Is that why he was so weird last year, joining that horrid toad-like woman, stating that he was trying to keep you safe, that you didn't know everything that was happening?

Maybe you didn't.

You feel almost foolish now, like someone has lifted a veil from in front of your eyes and you suddenly realize that you've been ignoring obvious signs. Now the papers are even talking about the random attacks on muggle born wizards, the gatherings, and it's very concerning.

Fred and George don't seem bothered, their joke shop is flourishing, just like Fred said it would. You saw him many times over the summer, you actually really like his shop, but it's not the same between either one of you now. You thought maybe it could be once you got out of school, but... it's not. He's basically independent, he and his brother, and he's loving it.

You just... wish things didn't have to end the way they did last year.

You're both writing letters to each other, more so now than before actually, especially over the summer. Your owl has been constantly going back and forth much to your mother's consternation, sometimes she needs to use the owl sometimes and you shouldn't be so greedy, apparently.

It's not like it matters, most of her friends are high society gossip queens, it's not like she has anything actually important to talk about. Your father has been gone a lot though, but you don't really think he's been at the Ministry like he claims; he's up to something, him and your mother both, but you're not sure what.

No one will talk to you.

It's so frustrating!

Even if they avoid telling you about it, you hear about it at school. The dark vibe is intense, and Dumbledore has been so absent this year, although he's still miraculously the headmaster despite that circus last semester. You're not sure how he managed that, but you noticed that he isn't looking like he feels that well, either.

Neither is Draco.

He's not acting his usual haughty self, he's very pale, and you've noticed the black rings beneath his eyes. He has his underlings following him around of course, and he still has his boastful appearance and looks down his nose at others, but it just... well, it seems like it's a facade, it's not genuine like before.

You're actually worried about him too.

You know the rumors, and if He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is really back, the Malfoys are right in the middle of it. Draco and his mother at least, since his father is currently in Azkaban for breaking into the Ministry --- on the Dark Lord's behalf.

Which means he must be back, doesn't it? You keep trying to find excuses, ways to pretend that it's not true, because why should it be? That was something that happened when you were just a baby, it doesn't even seem real to you, it's just history, right?

Well, apparently not, because now it's happening again.

You frown down at your school books where you sit in the library at one of the tables, tapping the tip of your feathered quill nervously against your paper. You've been staring at this page for a few minutes, but you're not really reading anything.

You're listening.

There's a few Slytherins sitting a couple seats down, whispering as they lean over the table towards each other. Pansy is one of them, she's always in the middle of chaos, but she's also the perfect source of gossip. She looks pleased as she talks about the Malfoy's, still praising them for being loyal to their blood even in the darkest of circumstances. She comments on how hard it must be for Draco with his father being gone, his mother stuck at the manor with all her "guests."

By guests does she mean Death Eaters? Is Malfoy manor like their home base?

She should really watch what she's saying when so many people are around.

You hear a slight huff of vague laughter, and you look up, seeing Draco walking through the library, white blonde hair messed, a smile on his face that's not genuine and actually looks more like a grimace. Crabbe and Goyle are flanking him as they move with purpose, and you frown, watching them.

Is he okay?

His eyes flick over as he passes your table, his gray eyes catching yours for just the briefest of moments before away, his attention returning to his task. You watch as he disappears into the rows of books in the library, almost feeling disappointed. He's not spoken to you once this year, not tried to pick on you, be smooth with you, absolutely nothing!

It's not characteristic of him at all.

Not that you mind, of course, he's a jerk, and he's rude, and snobbish. You want him to be a better person but you're not sure if he actually is, and the only reason he's ever nice to you is because of your family name, your House; if you'd been anyone else, you would be treated like you were below him, especially since you don't think muggles are complete dirt.

Still, you've spent time with Draco outside of school, you know he can be decent, it's why you like him. You just know he can be better, but you're not going to pretend that you can make him be better or make him change, it's his choice to be who he is and to act the way he does.

It's just disappointing because he has a good heart.

Or maybe that's just what you want to believe.

He saved you last year, made sure you weren't in trouble when it came to the D.A. getting caught; he actually made sure you didn't make it to that last meeting, and you'd said some horrible things to him because of it. You sort of regret being so mean, but, well, he had no business interfering! You should have been there, you are one of them!

Maybe you should have believed Harry more, instead of being so skeptical. You're grateful for all the defensive spells you learned thanks to him, at least if everything does go bad you'll be able to defend yourself --- against Death Eaters, of all things.

People you know, which is what makes it worse.

You sigh, and finally close the book you've been pretending to read with a final thunk. You can't concentrate, and you're tired of trying too. There's too much on your mind, this year is getting to you and you're barely into it!

Stupid Draco and his ignoring you, you're not sure why you find it so annoying. It's so unlike him, he always at least acknowledges you! Sure, you don't care, not really, it's just... worrisome. He's changed so much these few months, it's like he's not even himself.

When you first saw him this year, he was still pale, wearing his traditional dark green robes that complimented his color and white-blond hair. Now he has sch terrible dark shadows beneath his eyes, and looks almost gray sometimes, as if he's exhausted and becoming ill.

You've noticed Snape watching him pretty closely as well, but you know about his reputation. Snape was a Death Eater, loyal to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and how he became a teacher for Dumbledore is beyond you; why Dumbledore let him become a teacher is a mystery! The man obviously hates children, and this year since he's been teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, it's been... interesting.

Everyone always says that position is cursed, you've had a new one every single year that you've been at Hogwarts... well, since Harry Potter has been at Hogwarts. You can't say Snape has been a terrible teacher, for as long as you've known him he's wanted that class. He takes it very seriously, more so than anyone else --- especially that horrid woman Umbridge, who you hope is somewhere as awful as she is.

At least Snape treats the class for what it is; dangerous.

He wants to make sure that all of the students have a firm understanding of the suffering the Dark Arts can bring, so far as to even make the lights dimmer and hang up some very morbid photos. His teachings, as much as no one would dare admit, were very similar to Harry's, in your unasked opinion. Snape wants everyone to not simply just memorize the spells, but how to use them and what situations call for them.

Even the theories he assigns for homework at least interesting. Lupin was the only other teacher who you found to be so practical, except he was much friendlier and personable, whereas Snape is sort of loomy and intimidating.

"What is it, (Y/N)? You're looking moodier than usual," Someone comments snidely, and you cut your eyes at Pansy Parkinson where she and Millicient sit; you're not fond of Millicent, at all, and you don't pretend you are either. She was part of Umbridge's Inquisitorial squad last year, and would use her... you want to say larger, more broad build to intimidate other students and anyone smaller than her. Right now her black hair is loose around her jutting jaw, and it's not flattering in the least.

"What do you want, Pansy?" You frown at her, your chin propped on your hand. "Don't you have something to gossip about?"

"No." Pansy shifts, and you scowl at her as she puts herself right across from you, looking like the cat who ate the canary. Your mind unfortunately flicks to the night of the Yule Ball, when she went with Draco dressed in such pink frills, so gaudy. Her style hasn't changed much since than either, although you've noticed her and Draco are together, just the two of them more often.

You're not bothered by it or anything, after all these years it's no surprise to see them together. She's just a horrid girl, who likes to torment others and has a mean streak --- but she's from a pureblood family, so it's no surprise.

You gaze at her with a bored expression, not even going to entertain her. Is she trying to snap at you, get you riled up for some reason?

You're fairly certain you hate this girl, although you know it's a strong term. You know her and Draco are cosier than usual this year, you heard about their little snuggle on the train ride to Hogwarts. His head in her lap, her smirk as she caressed his hair --- it does make your blood boil just a little at the thought.

You know his hair is soft, you've run your fingers through it numerous times. You wonder if he's kissed her yet, like he has you --- he certainly knows how to kiss very well, so maybe she's who he's practiced with.

Oh now that's a sickening thought.

You don't like that at all.

You brush your hair behind your ear, raising your brows at Pansy when she just sits across from you, studying you.

You're all growing up now, all around sixteen to seventeen years old. Before where you would typically keep your hair in a braid of sorts, you've started leaving it down, and it's longer now than it was before. You've found a lot of your classmates are losing their childish round faces, are becoming taller and filling out, and you're no different.

You're taller now, though not as tall as Draco, and your mother keeps fussing at you to wear a little makeup around your eyes, they're so pretty and they should stand out. You have to concede that she's right, and hasn't Draco complimented you now and than about how nice they are?

You wonder if he compliments Pansy about how she looks, if he really does like her that way. Is he finally done with you, even being friends? Did you hissing at him the end of last year finally finish off the shred of whatever it was between the two of you?

He's always been such a constant, you almost admit that you kind of miss him. You don't miss his belittling people or tantrums, but the good moments, like when he stayed the summer with your parents, or how kind he was to you that one Christmas --- that's the Draco you like, and believe he would be were his father not such a bloody jerk.

"So, I heard Blaise Zabini was talking about you this morning in the commons room," Pansy suddenly states, earning your attention. "He was talking to Theodore Nott about how tall you've gotten over the summer."

"Theodore just likes to talk about plants, and Blaise is too vain to notice anyone but himself." You reply shortly, not interested. You highly doubt Blaise Zabini is interested in you, you've never even had a conversation your entire time at school. He's usually pretty quiet and reserved, and though he sits with Draco and the others during lunch, he doesn't seem to care much for them. You know he's incredibly prejudiced against anyone who isn't a pureblood, but he comes from a woman who's been widowed seven times, her husbands dying under suspicious circumstances.

"Oh, come on, (Y/N), you're pretty enough to have someone interested in you." Pansy replies, but it's the way she says it you know she's not sincere. You just look at her, refusing to rise to the bait; is she taunting you because she's insecure about her relationship?

That's not your problem.

"I have to get to class," you say, making your tone as disinterested as possible. You rise to your feet, gathering your books together. Pansy looks annoyed for just the briefest moment before plastering a smirk on her face, getting to her feet so she can be on the same level as you.

"Going a little early, aren't you? Want to make sure you get there ahead of everyone else? It's just Snape, he already caters to us as Slytherins. No need to suck up to him."

You roll your eyes blatantly, turning away from her and taking your time leaving the library; you don't want her to think you're running away from her either. You don't care for her stupid attitude towards you, and you're not going to let her think you can bully you either.

Stupid Pansy Parkinson.

~~~~~~

Draco is exhausted.

He can barely keep his eyes open as he sits in Transfiguration class, his chin propped on his fist. He's trying to pay attention, but there's much more pressing matters than worrying about homework or what McGonagall is teaching. She's already given him detention for forgetting two assignments already, much to his consternation.

Griffyndors.

He exhales heavily in irritation, hair moving out of his eyes. There's so much going on, and he's so tired. He just wants to sleep, but if he's resting he's losing time, and time is precious right now. He has to protect his family, he can't fail in his objective this year, in the mission he was given.

If he messes up, something could happen to his mother, and she's all he has left now. His father in Azkaban, it's thrown his family inot disarray, and his mother is barely keeping control of Malfory Manor since they've fallen out of favor with the Dark Lord.

His eyes rove the classroom, and they settle on you as you answer a question a few rows down from him. He's tried to avoid you this year, to ignore your very existence; the less you're involved with him, the better off you're going to be. You chose the mudbloods, despite your pureblood status, and the Dark Lord is concerned that your family may not be... loyal, in a sense.

He's worried.

Narcissa Malfory defended your mother, and your father since he works with the ministry. He hopes that means, despite their fall from grace, something in your family's defense. There's been so many attacks on muggles and other mudblood supporting wizards, it causes his stomach to clench.

He hopes that if he avoids you, no one will think anything of you, that you'll be left alone. You'll be safe. Draco can't give anyone ammunition that can be used against him, plus if you knew his plans for the year --- you'd hate him. You'd never speak to him again, and for some reason he cares about that.

He's even kept a distance between his friends, Crabbe and Goyle, Theodore and Pansy. They know he's planning something and would help him no matter what, but he can't give them details; and damned Snape, always sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. He's not going to steal Draco's glory, the boy can do it himself!

He'll figure it out, somehow, without anyone's help! Snape would ruin everything, and he doesn't have to keep such tabs on him, either!

Draco's fingers curl tightly where they rest on the table in front of him, and he swallows hard. He has to be careful, he knows that. He's still a prefect, not that it really matters to him as much as it did last year. The summer changed everything, it's like his entire life has been tilted and he's struggling to keep it righted.

He thought being a Death Eater, working for the Dark Lord, would be great. He wanted to be like his father, wear his Dark Mark proudly and help keep the muggles separate from the wizarding world. Keep the bloodlines strong and pure, and yet...

The Dark Lord doesn't really seem to care who gets hurt in the meantime. If you're a bloodtraitor, or just simply someone who doesn't think muggles are lowly, you're the enemy. Anyone who doesn't comply will be punished, and if you fall out of favor, like the Malfoys --- Draco knows he was only assigned to kill Dumbledore so that he would fail.

It's not a punishment for him, but for his father in failing his attack on Harry Potter last year, on getting caught and being sent away.

So, Draco can't be around you, not this year. He's going to pretend he doesn't care about you at all, it's his only tactic. You're safer being out of the way, he just has to keep Pansy away from you. He's noticed she's been aiming for you lately, although he's not sure why. He can tell you're annoyed but you're not a very confrontational person.

He shifts, absently flipping the page of his book when he notices everyone else does. He's not paying attention to anything being said, he'll figure that out later.

"And what does Reparifarge do?" McGonagall asks the class, her beady eyes flicking across the students.

Your hand and that of Hermione Granger's both raise quickly, and you cut your eyes at her. You half expect McGonagall to let her answer, considering she's a Griffyndor --- you suppose you're a little used to the preferential treatment Snape used to give during Potions and now in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"(Y/L/N)." McGonagall addresses you, apparently deciding to not less miss-know-it-all give her answer for once.

"It undoes the Transifiguration of the object," you say, brushing your long hair behind your ears. You've never let it go so long before, but it looks good on you. In fact, you're filling out nicely, with your height, it's like you're becoming prettier the older you get. Draco lets his gaze linger on you as you elaborate on your answer when prompted, answering until McGonagall looks pleased, nodding her head.

"Very good, (Y/L/N.)" McGonagall compliments, slowly pacing in front of her desk, hands clasped in front of her. "At least one of you has been paying attention during class. Isn't that right, Mr. Malfoy?"

Draco blinks, ripping his gaze off of you and to the teacher staring him down.

"Tell me, Mr. Malfoy, what is the most important thing to do when casting a transfiguration spell?" she asks, glaring at him from beneath the hem of her hat; he doens't take it personally, she glares at all of her students --- or perhaps it's more that her face is just always set in a stern manner.

"... Concentrate." he manages after a moment, scrambling for an answer. He's quite sure she mentioned something like that earlier in the class.

"Correct. So let's make sure we're all concentrating on our studies, shall we?" she replies, and he frowns as she turns away, gesturing at the board behind her. The chalk rises, elegantly beginning to write a new spell upon the blackboard. "Now, everyone take out your wands."

He huffs as he slouches back in his chair, Pansy patting his arm reassuringly where she sits beside him. Her hand lingers on his sleeve, fingers casually brushing against the black material in a soothing manner.

She shares the same views as him, is loyal to him and hasn't left his side all year, and he appreciates that. At least he knows he can rely on her if it comes down to it, and she's one of the Twenty-Eight pureblood famillies as well --- not a bad option, as far as dating goes.

He just doesn't have time for it right now.

~~~~~~~

Dear (Y/N),

George and I have a new prank coming out, and I want you to try it first! When you get time, head on down to our shop, and I'll give you a sample to take back to Hogwarts come vacation. I know it must be dreadfully boring without George and me there, no one else has the good humor we do, eh?

Tell Ron that Mum's awful mad at him again, if you see him. She's not, but it puts him in a fluster and it's funny to watch. Did you get the parcel I sent you last week? Hope you liked the sweets from Honeydukes, I made sure that I didn't send anything with Errol, especially after his fiasco with Hagrid.

I actually wanted to make sure you got the candies before they were too old!

Anyhow, like I said, come by the shop, would you? It's been since summer we've seen you, you know how George asks after you constantly. Sometimes me thinks he has a crush on you, but can't say my brother doesn't have good taste.

Fred

You smile as you read the letter Fred sent you. He sends you one at least every few weeks, along with some silly care package of a sorts. You're pleased that he still communicates with you, even if it's not like it was before. He's funny, he teases you, but it's casual between you now, there's not really any romance left.

At least you can still be friends, and you treasure that.

You glance at the box of candies he's sent you, and they're the expensive ones that you always like as well. His joke shop must be doing pretty well considering, but he and his brother are natural pranksters.

You stifle a yawn behind your hand, knowing it's getting late. You're still sitting in the commons room whereas everyone else has left for the night, the fire crackling in the elaborately carved fireplace casting a dim glow about the long, dungeon-like room. The lamps above that hang on their chains are turned low for the night, and that's typically the unofficial sign for going to bed.

You just... didn't want to have to deal with the clatter of the other girls, and liked the peacefulness of the room when there wasn't anyone else around.

The room has lots of low backed black and dark green leather sofas, wooden tables with a set of Wizard's Chess on it and other books or belongings of students they've forgotten. The room has a grand atmosphere, despite it being quite a cold one, and the large window looking out into the lake always gives the room a green tinge that you've come to like over the years.

It's familiar to you, comforting, and though you've never understood how you ended up in Slytherin, it's your house, and you wear the green and silver colors proudly. Slytherins aren't all bad, and though you hate to compliment Professor Slughorn, the new potions teacher, he's not terrible at all --- he's just a quirky old man that means no harm.

Slytherins are cunning, ambitious --- but at least they look after their own. They care about the members of their House, admittedly; sure, Pansy Parkinson would tease you and try to get under your skin, but if a Griffyndor or a Ravenclaw said something out of the way to you, she'd snarl and rip them apart.

Well, maybe she wouldn't, perhaps that's a bad example.

Your eyes flick up as you hear the commonsroom door opening, and you blink as Draco Malfoy slips inside. Your eyes flick to the grandclock against the wall, seeing the late hour as the Slytherin boy stumbles towards the stairs.

What is Draco doing out so late? What in the world could he have been doing?

He's not noticed you on the sofa, and won't unless you say something. You shouldn't, it's none of your concern what he's been up too, but ---.

"Draco?" You find yourself asking, your soft voice catching him off guard in the otherwise quiet room. He half jerks around, gray eyes darkly shadowed but wide as he recognizes you. You see him look at the clock before back at you, obviously wondering what you're doing up at such a late hour.

"(Y/N)? Why are you awake?" He asks raspily, before clearing his throat. His hands slip casually into his trouser pockets, his black sweater wrinkled and worn looking, out of character for him. He has always prided himself on having the best clothing, looking his best --- his hair, which typically he kept smoothed back, falls around his eyes, completely unkempt.

"I could ask the same of you." You reply, absently folding the letter Fred sent you and letting it rest on the table with the candies. You're curled up on the sofa, a few pillows around you, legs tucked beneath them. "Where are you coming from?"

"I'm a prefect, just checking to make sure everyone was to bed."

"You're a terrible liar, Draco," You sigh, frowning at him. He might be a prefect but he's basically ignored every single duty of one all year; no one's brave enough to complain about it, but you've heard the irritated whispers.

He sends you an annoyed look, shrugging his sweater clad shoulders. He's tall, but he looks slimmer to you than before, and you wonder what's stressing him so. He's so absent minded this year, so out of the loop...

"Are you okay?" You ask suddenly, starting to get to your feet. It has to do with that whole Death Eater business, doesn't it? You think they're just thugs, bullies who follow a bigger bully just so they can be cruel, they don't care about any cause. He could be stressed about his father being in prison, or that mess going on with Harry, who's been so angry towards everything this year, but he's had it hard too.

This year is just --- difficult.

"I'm fine," Draco averts his gaze from you, his eyes focusing on the stairs leading up to the boys quarters. He just wants a few hours of rest, to swallow the fear that tightens his throat and forget the world for a bit. He's spent so long working on that stupid cabinet that his eyes were blurring, and it's still not fixed!

He's becoming desperate.

"Are you sure? You don't seem like it," you say hesitantly, and he dares to look at you again. "What's going on with you this year?"

"Nothing." He mutters, running pale fingers through his messy hair. "You should be in bed, (Y/N), we have early classes tomorrow."

"I could say the same to you," you retort, miffed. He keeps avoiding answering your questions, you hate that. There's no sense in being evasive, although he does look tired, maybe he just wants some rest? "You've been avoiding me all year."

Oh, you've noticed that? "No I haven't, it's just a busy school year."

"This is the first conversation we've had," you cross your arms against the coolness of the room, refusing to let him get off that easily. You're not sure why you're persuing this, you just --- well, you feel bad about last year.

Guilty, really.

Maybe he's angry at you, maybe you struck a terrible nerve when you lashed out at him for stopping you going to the last D.A. meeting; he knew there was going to be a raid, and he prevented you from being caught in the mess of it. You hadn't known that, and you'd said some horrible things to him, he'd looked insulted, you'd thought, but maybe it was hurt?

"So?" Draco sounds irritated, and he keeps shifitng his weight back and forth, cutting his eyes at you before away. "Look, I'm tired and going to bed."

"Draco, I --- I'm sorry about last year," you suddenly blurt, having to get it off your chest. It's plagued you for a few months, and though you thought nothing of it before, how he's treated you this year, blatantly ignored you --- you can't stand it!

You think about the Christmas you spent with his family, the summer he stayed with yours, the moment in the tower of his manor that he kissed you like no one else ever has --- you adored Fred, but he was sweet, and gentle, it was completely different. There's nothing really romantic left between the two of you now, at least on your behalf, and in some way maybe you're a little relieved that it's passed.

You were always so conflicted.

"Sorry? What about?" The blond boy looks startled, and you finally have his full attention. He'd started to stride past you towards the stairs, but had paused at your words, just a few feet away. The firelight sends a reddish glow across his skin, giving his cheeks just the smallest hint of color.

"When we last spoke," you hesitate, absently twisting a few strands of your hair, nervous. "Last year, you helped me, but I didn't know it, and I was horrible to you. I'm just... I'm sorry about that. I thought you were just being a jerk to me again, but ---."

"I've never done anything to intentionally be a jerk to you, (Y/N)," Draco interrupts you, his voice firm. "You know that."

"Intentionally, no," you agree, seeing his brows furrow. "But I wanted to apologize ---."

"That doesn't matter," he shakes his head, and you blink at him, surprised.

"It doesn't?"

"What? No, I don't even think about that." He dismisses with a wave of his hand. Why are you dwelling on something so inconsequential? He'd completely forgotten about that, last year was a blur to him, the whole thing with Umbridge. It's like that was a completely different time now, some distant past that belongs to a different person.

"Oh." You hesitate, suddenly unsure. He doesn't... well, if he's not upset about it, why is he treating you so coldly?

Why do you care?

Maybe you deserve it, maybe it's for the best. You've been mean to him too, you guess, and your relationship has always been rocky. You should just drop it, gather your things and leave, let him get some rest. People grow apart, and though you were raised together as children, you've gone to school together for years --- sometimes it's best to leave things in the past.

You turn away from him, grabbing your mail and the parcel Fred sent you, hugging them to your chest. You don't know what else to say to him, so you just look away, decide to leave him be. You shouldn't have said anything, shouldn't have confronted him. He's gazing towards the stairs again, and for some rest your chest aches as you look at him, because he looks --- he has such an expression of despair.

What's Draco gotten himself in too?

It's none of your business, you scold yourself. Your parents warned you that if things were too strange at school, that you were to let them know and come straight home. So far nothing was too out of the ordinary, but you tend to be oblivious.

It's better that way.

"Goodnight, Draco," you mumble, only to hear him sigh.

"Wait, (Y/N)," his hand suddenly closes against your sleeve, tugging to keep you from brushing past him. You hesitate, suddenly finding that you're an arms length away, so close you can see how terrible the black circles beneath his eyes are, how pale and almost gray his skin seems. He looks so terrible, and the black sweater does nothing but support that.

"Yes?" You hold your breath as you look up at him, standing perfectly still as his pale fingers suddenly rise, trailing through your long hair absently. He lifts a few strands before letting them fall, his gaze focusing on the necklace that you're wearing.

You can feel the heat start to burn your cheeks; this was his Christmas gift for you, a very pretty necklace that's one of your favorites. You actually wear it fairly often, just usually beneath your robes or sweaters. Only the two of you know it was a gift from him, you've never told anyone, and neither has he.

"You still have that?" He doesn't have to sound so surprised.

"Of course." You look down at it, almost guiltily. "I mean, it's one of my favorites. I wear it all the time."

"Oh." Draco ignores how satisfying your words are. "I just thought... well, I'm glad you like it."

"Mmmhmm." You don't know what else to say. You're starting to get uncomfortable, you don't know... where this is going.

"You should go," Draco says wearily after a moment when there's nothing but the crackling of the fire between you. "You heard about what happened to that Griffyndor Katie Bell, didn't you? You shouldn't be out late."

"Oh, that was horrible." You shudder at the thought of it. "Poor girl is in St. Mungo's now, they don't know when she's getting out. It's lucky Hagrid got her back when he did."

Draco nods in agreement, but he's not looking at you again. "Nothing like that will happen again, don't dwell on it."

"And how do you know that? No one even knows what happened," well, that's one thing you haven't told your parents about. You also know that Ron Weasley was ill some time ago, spent some time in the infirmary, but you're not sure what over. You did find it odd those two events happening, but it's Hogwarts.

You just don't ---.

"You're safe, you have nothing to worry about," Draco repeats, and he squeezes your arm lightly, just enough to attempt to be reassuring. "Of all the people here, you're safest."

"Why would you say that?" What an odd choice of words. You stare at him, off guard. "Do you know something about what happened?"

"What? Of course not," he scoffs, but he's not looking at you again, he does! He always looks away when he lies, it's his tell --- you've known him long enough to pick up on that. You jerk your arm out of his grip, frowning up at him.

"Draco Malfoy, did you have something to do with Katie Bell?" You demand of him, tightening your grip on the parcel in your arms, tensing. "What did you do?"

"What? Nothing!" Draco squawks, but he takes a step back from you. "How could you accuse me of something like that?"

"Well, I --- I don't know, you just look guilty!" Is it a ridiculous idea? You wonder. Draco has never hurt anyone, he's just a jerk, and usually a coward. You remember when he tried to one up Harry in Hagrid's class with Buckbeak, how he'd lamented about an injured arm that he was perfectly fine soon after. He tends to be a big baby about everything, but he was pampered, spoiled.

"I'm just tired, (Y/N)." Draco sounds weary, and you feel guitly immediately. He does look so exhausted, and you know Draco better than most people, he wouldn't hurt someone like that. Maybe socially destroy them, belittle them in every other single way, but not like that, not with magic so horrible.

"I know, I'm sorry. You're right, we should get to bed." You say, clearing your throat nervously. You gaze up at him for just a few more seconds before turning away. "Goodnight, Draco. Sweet dreams."

"Goodnight." Draco watches you walk away from him, disappear up the twisting stairs towards the girls dormitory. The room seems colder when you leave, emptier. He almost wishes you'd stay a few more seconds, just so he's not alone, not ---.

No, he can't worry with you.

Draco presses his hands against his face, inhaling a ragged breath. He hates the burning in his eyes, and he fights back the overwhelming despair of his situation. You just distract him, you're his one weakness in this whole school and he knows it. You can be used against him and that's not acceptable.

He has a mission, to kill Dumbledore for the Dark Lord, to bring his family honor and to be in his good graces again. His father failed in getting the prophecy from the Department of Mysteries, and so his family is suffering for it.

Draco's eyes trail down to his left forearm, where he knows the Dark Mark throbs. He was so excited at first, getting the Mark, becoming a Death Eater like his father despite his Mother's warnings. He wanted the mission, he wanted to help his family, but the weight of this, the heaviness of what he has to do and what happens if he fails --- it's killing him. He feels like he's carrying so much on his shoulders, like he's drowning, choking and he can't breathe!

His chest pinches, and his shaking fingers curl tightly along the back of the sofa you vacated. He tries to keep his breathing even, to not panic, to not let the fear take over him. He knows he's shaking, his eyes are burning and he just wants to sit, curl into a ball and not move for a few hours.

He doesn't want to kill anyone, but he has too. He saw what Voldemort did to the old mugglestudies teacher, what he does to people who he views as useless or threats. He worries constantly about his mother, how she's fairing --- it doesn't matter his Aunt Bellatrix is there, she's loyal to the Dark Lord even over her own family.

He has no one, and he can't trust Snape.

He can't trust anyone.

It's just... just a hopeless situation.

@ariminiria @xaohroa @raven666hale. @thebrookerose. @imthedrappleapple. @scarlet-witch-baby @a-mnda @itsspecial-itsnotforeveryone @maelloute @httpmcrvel @ mayorofzillyhoo @happyhollands

#dracomalfoy #harrypotterfanfiction #draco malfoy fan fiction #draco-fuckingmalfoy #slytherin #dracoxreader #dracoxoc #draco malfoy x y/n #readerinsert #harry potter reader insert #draco malfoy x reader insert

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kpop-cakepops · 5 years ago

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When The Party’s Over Pt. 2// JeonghanxFem Reader

SO Finally here. Second part of my Jeonghan au. Still hella angsty, but definitely like twice as long as the first part.

Warnings: drinking, cursing, one mention of a panic attack (nothing detailed, though)

Go read Part 1 if you haven’t!

Your heart fell to the darkest pits of your stomach as you remembered the way he had stared at you with his dark eyes looking like those of a deer caught in headlights while your silver necklace lay on the ground shining so bright under the sudden moonlight, it was almost like it was signaling to you that it needed you to pick it up, that you shouldn’t throw it away with all the years of friendship it had endured between you and Jeonghan…

Jeonghan.

It had been exactly 5 months since you had last seen him and yet you missed him like you had the very first day. You didn’t have enough fingers to count the amount of times you almost called him, the amount of times you almost walked to his apartment. However, Wonwoo, the friend you most trusted now had been right.

“I understand he’s the closest thing to family you had left, Y/N… but you have to understand that you’ve spent so much on him and gotten nothing in return.” Wonwoo had you fixed with his serious gaze as you tried to control the obnoxious sniffling. “How much longer is it going to go on? How many times will you let him step over you?”

“He’s not a bad person, you don’t understand him-”

“No. I don’t understand him, but I understand you, y/n. Sure, okay. Maybe he isn’t a bad person… but he’s a horrible fucking friend.” He snapped shutting you up. “I’m telling you this because I care about you, Y/N… let him be the one to come crawling back to you this time.”

You sighed as the memory dissipated leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. ‘Let him be the one to come crawling back to you this time.’ Jeonghan wasn’t the type of person to do that. He would never in a thousand years let his pride be trampled. Not for a woman, anyways.

“Hello?” Wonwoo waved his book in front of your face trying to get your attention back to what he was saying.

“Sorry, I zoned out for a bit there.” You chuckled.

The young man rolled his eyes feigning annoyance but continued, “the gig, Jihoon is gonna be performing for the first time at a rave. He says he’ll get us in free if we want to go.”

“Oh, yeah sure. That would be cool I guess… we can get him flowers” you smile softly taking a sip of your now lukewarm coffee earning yourself a disgusted grimace from your friend.

“It’s going to be a rave y/n, not a musical” he laughed.

“Whatever, just tell him I’m game. I need to get out of the house more.” You mumbled going back to the book you had been holding. Or at least, pretending you were reading again since all you were really doing was wondering if Jeonghan would show up to the gig.

“You still thinking about him?” Wonwoo broke the silence after a few moments.

“Who?” You asked not looking up from your book.

“You’ve been staring at the same page for the past 5 minutes” he noted slapping his book shut, “if you’re wondering if Jeonghan will be there, then yeah, more than likely, we do share the same friend group after all.”

“I don’t care. I’m not going to meet him. I’m going to support DJ Woozi” the playful shrug of your shoulders seemed to help your friend relax.

“Are you sure you don’t care?” He asked with a small testing smile.

You reciprocated with one of your own and shook your head. “Nope. I’m totally fine.”

You weren’t fine.

You weren’t.

Initially, you had been prepared to face him, but after about 30 minutes of the first DJ’s set, you had given up. You were sure he wasn’t coming. You let your guard down. You should have known better. It was when your guard was down that Jeonghan always appeared.

At first you didn’t realize he’d arrived, you were too immersed in the atmosphere of the crowd around you. Your heart beating wildly as you screamed the lyrics of the song playing, your legs bouncing you up and down to the beat while Seokmin’s girlfriend followed suit. You had managed to make friends with her as soon as you got to the event. Chaeyeon, much like her boyfriend, was sweet and easy to get along with. That’s how you’d managed to distract yourself enough to not notice the way a certain set of dark eyes stared at the back of your head almost pleading you to look back, to notice them the way they always used to.

You did.

You noticed them when Dino, the youngest, yelled out for him as he tried his best to squeeze him through the crowd and to the cramped spot your group had managed to huddle into. “Jeonghan hyung!! You made it!”

You felt yourself stumble a bit causing Chaeyeon to look over at you, her smile fading slightly. “Everything okay?” She asked.

You took a peek over your shoulder to find the typical Jeonghan scene, everyone crowding around him, cheering because he’d arrived, but something was different. This time his pretty dark eyes were staring at you. You turned your attention away from him and to the song loudly playing in the venue. A small grin appeared on your lips as you locked eyes with her.

“Is this a new song?!” You called out over the music. “I like it!”

It was like that for a while. Both of you, mostly you, ignoring his existence while he stayed towards the back eyeing you every few moments, drinking every few moments, hoping to numb the ache in his chest… how could you be so unbothered after you walked away from him the way you did? How could you not turn around and hug him like you used to when you were upset at one another? When were you planning to come back?

“IT’S HIM. IT’S HIS TURN!” Yelled a highly intoxicated Soonyoung as he pointed above all the people in front of your group and hopped excitedly. “WOOZI!”

Everyone looked in the stage’s direction, Wonwoo shifting so he was now next to you. You looked up at him and noticed him trying to speak to you, however Jihoon had already started his set and the music was once again too loud to hear. You signaled to your ears and shook your head letting him know you couldn’t hear him. With a tiny shove a small smirk he leaned down toward you, “I asked if you’re okay. If you’re uncomfortable we can go”

You pressed your lips together wondering if it would really be worth it to leave. You end up shaking your head. Both you and Jeonghan were doing a decent job of ignoring each other and Jihoon’s set was scheduled to be only 15 minutes long, what could possibly happen if you stayed until the end of his set? A lot, it seemed like.

Once Jihoon met the rest of you, the group decided a celebratory second round at a bar would be the best and most fun option. Wonwoo, who had originally been your voice of reason, had now had one too many drinks and was whooping and hollering in agreement with the rest of your friends. Before you could fully understand what the plan was, everyone started moving as one towards the exit of the venue, earning yourselves and earful of cusses and shoves from the people that were still enjoying the show.

Being at the bar, however, was an experience. The table was full of friends and rowdy, everyone was drinking and having fun except you and Jeonghan. Both of you silent and sneaking glances at each other from across the table, except he was drinking. He was drinking a lot. A part of you wanted to make him stop, to drag him out of the bar before he could order more drinks for everyone.

You sighed unable to take much more of the tension and stood from your seat. “Everyone, I’m heading out first, I’m really tired. Jihoon, you did awesome tonight. Congratulations, please don’t forget me when you’re famous”

Everyone laughed and some looked at their watches. “Maybe we should call it a night, I have to work tomorrow” quipped Jun who was trying to hold a shitfaced Soonyoung up.

Everyone slowly started to file out of the bar hauling taxi’s one by one until, finally, it was just Wonwoo, his roomate Mingyu, Yourself and him. The four of you had drank, but only you seemed to not be intoxicated to the brim. “Y/N! I have to take Mingyu home, because he pees his pants” slurred your friend, following his words with a giggle.

“You guys are going to be the death of me” you grumble as you struggled to shove the 6 foot something men into the cab.

“Hyung that’s a secret!” Whined Mingyu as his top half fell onto Wonwoo’s lap.

The two idiots continued to ramble amongst themselves and you ignored them while you gave the driver their address and paid for the ride. You’d make sure to get that money transferred back by Wonwoo. “Please make sure they at least make it to the lobby safely” you asked the driver. He grumbled something under his breath before speeding off leaving you alone with the person you were most scared of facing.

You took a deep breath and turned around to find that Jeonghan was already drunkenly walking away from where you’d been only moments ago. A cab stopped before you and you looked at the driver before returning your sight to your ex friend who was still walking away. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck…. sorry, can you give me a minute please? My friend is really drunk. I’ll be right back, please don’t leave!”

You didn’t give the driver a chance to talk before you broke into a sprint, the warm summer air making your hair whip against your face. You didn’t even realize when you grabbed his arm, but he was suddenly facing you, eyes glazed and cheeks red from his alcohol intake. “Let’s go” you managed and dragged him back towards the waiting Taxi.

He was silent.

It made you uncomfortable that he was that silent, especially while drunk. “I heard you moved. Where is your new place?” You asked.

“I don’t want to go to my place” the first words you heard him say in 5 months. The way your heart clenched at the sound of his voice had not changed one bit. Your eyes squeezed shut and you tried again.

“You’re drunk, I know you like partying, but you can’t do this right now. Give me your address and they’ll drop you off home so you can rest.” You try again but he’d fallen asleep.

“I need to know if you’re gonna take the ride or not. You’re wasting my time here.” The driver glared at you impatiently causing you to push Jeonghan’s top half out of the way before getting in. You gave the driver your address and prayed you wouldn’t regret it later.

The drive to your place was silent, you spent the time staring out the window trying to ward off the anxiety that was bubbling within you. Meanwhile Jeonghan was pretending to sleep beside you. He may have been drunk, but it was the only way he could get the chance to hear you talk again. Earlier, while around all your friends, he had realized that staying sober would only prevent him from talking to you, so he drank. He drank until he was sure he’d be drunk enough to have an excuse to be with you, even if for just one more night.

Getting Jeonghan out of the cab had been a struggle, one that the driver was too annoyed to help you with. Eventually you managed to pull the tall young man out of the vehicle and pay for the ride, only for him to rush off towards the closest trash can and heave out the contents of his stomach. “Y/n” he whined still doubled over the can.

You reached for his arm but pulled away the moment he wretched into the trashcan again. Settling on rubbing his back instead, you waited until he was done, telling him he’d be fine over and over, like you used to. It made him happy.

It made him cry.

At first it was hard for you to notice since he wasn’t showing you his face. He was holding onto the wall behind the trashcan with his head hung low. Then his shoulders started to shake a little and that’s when you saw it. A tear. Almost as if in slow motion dropping to the ground. “Hey… Jeonghan? Are you okay? Does it hurt? Should we go to the hospital?” You asked worried something was wrong with him.

“It hurts” he whimpered.

Your heart was hammering wildly against your chest. You knew he had drank way more than he should have. Was it alcohol poisoning? Should you call 911 or haul another cab? “W-where? Where does it hurt? I’ll call another c-”

He tugged your hand hard, your phone slipping from your grip. “Here.” He breathed out placing your hand onto his chest. “Make it stop.”

You stared at him in awe, the way he looked while he cried under the sole streetlight in front of your small apartment building. Saying things that made you wonder if he maybe was admitting to something you had yearned to hear him say for years. It was the most beautiful and sad thing you’d ever seen in your life… but it wasn’t real. This was Jeonghan after all. He would wake up the next day and be on his way back out of your life.

“Let’s go inside” hand slowly slipping out of his grip, you picked up your phone and placed his arm over your shoulder, slowly and carefully guiding him inside.

Nothing else was said.

Not when he noticed you’d repainted your apartment, not when you helped him brush his teeth, not when you sat him down on your bed and helped take his shoes off. Only when you tried to walk away from the bed did he speak. “Stop.”

You turned around and looked down at him. His eyes were wide open as he stared up at you pleadingly. “Sleep with me. Stay with me.”

You had always said that Jeonghan tended to look younger when he was drunk. His eyes always got big, the tips of his ears and apples of his cheeks red… all of it only making it impossible for you to say no to him. “Just until you fall asleep” you grumbled slipping into the bed, not daring to lay down or you knew you’d fall asleep next to him and that was the last thing you needed. How would you possibly explain to a sober and hungover Jeonghan that you’d slept in the same bed?

His head found it’s way onto your lap and his arm draped over your legs, almost as if holding you hostage. “I missed you” he murmured. He was sleepy, not nearly as drunk as he had been an hour ago.

Your heart dropped slightly, but you dismissed his words coldly. “You’re drunk.”

“I don’t care. Drunk or sober. I still missed you” he said again.

“Don’t say things you don’t mean and go to sleep.” You insisted. Head leaned back against the head of your bed trying to keep tears from spilling.

“I mean it…” he was falling asleep now. His body giving into the piled up exhaustion he had been living with for the past 5 months. The months he’d spent without you. “I miss you so much.”

He was out like a light. Pulling him off of your lap and back onto your pillow was hard. His arms grabbing at you tightly as if on alarm. “I’m still here” you whispered laying down beside him. His now dark brown hair framed his sleeping face only strengthening the deep frown he sported as he slept.

Watching him in his sleep wasn’t creepy if he never found out, right? Before you knew it you were reaching out to his face. Fingertips smoothing out the frown on his forehead, “do you have nightmares?” You wondered outloud. “Why do you frown?”

Slowly your fingertips slid down the side of his face. “Why do you always come back? Why do you always lie to me, Jeonghan? Why do you make me feels things again?” You murmured tearing up. It was ripping at you that he was so close to you when you had sworn you wanted him nowhere near you. It was ripping at you that all you wanted to do was kiss away whatever worry was making him frown in his sleep. “Do you have any idea how much you’re hurting me right now?” You asked knowing he wouldn’t hear you.

Slowly but surely, you fell asleep. Warm, sad and not realizing that, not only were tears dripping down your cheeks, but Jeonghan’s too. Not realizing that he had been hearing everything you’d said.

He woke up first the next afternoon. It was past 1pm and he was wondering if he should leave before you woke up and found him lying next to you, but he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay. That’s how you came to wake up to Jeonghan sitting on your bed staring at the wall across your dim room. He had been too scared to get off the bed and open your shutters earlier.

Jeonghan turned his attention to you when he felt you stir, eyes meeting yours. After a few moments of silence you realized you would have to speak first. “Sorry, I fell asleep. I meant to go to the living room.” You said standing from your bed and avoiding his gaze. “You puked a lot yesterday, are you okay?” You asked only to be met with silence again.

It felt like you were walking on eggshells as you went to your closet and took out some of the clothes Wonwoo had left behind. You dropped them on the bed and nodded over to your bathroom. “You should shower before leaving, at least. I’ll make you something to eat too… for bringing you to my house without consent” you mustered awkwardly before disappearing out the door and taking a deep breath.

Relaxing only when you heard the shower start running, you began to move around your small kitchen cooking up the hangover soup you knew he loved out of habit moreso than intentionally. It was almost as if you hadn’t really been away from him long. You were so lost in your cooking and in your thoughts, that you didn’t notice when Jeonghan walked into the kitchen and stood against the counter watching you from behind.

For a second he imagined you and him in a different situation. He imagine waking up to you making him breakfast before heading to work every morning. You fixing his tie at the door and giving him a kiss goodbye… except that situation didn’t have many chances of becoming a reality. Instead he had gotten shitfaced drunk the night before, woke up at 1pm in your bed, and the air around both of you was stiff and awkward. He hated it.

“Whose clothes am I wearing?” He finally broke the silence making you jump slightly.

You cleared your throat and snuck a peek at him, “Wonwoo’s” you answered as you plated him a bowl of soup and set it on the table.

“Does he stay the night often?” He asked. “Do you like him?”

You ignored his question and looked into your fridge tapping your fingers against your lips. “Do you want Kimchi?” You asked.

Jeonghan couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled you away from the fridge and shut the door lightly. “I want to talk.” He said.

“I don’t.” You answered. Not because you didn’t want to, really, after all those years of friendship, you both deserved to at least talk about the problem. You knew you were both being immature, petty, stubborn… but you were both also scared.

His arms pulled you into him, wrapping you up in a tight hug. You had no idea how fucking good it felt for him to have you within his embrace again. “Please. Y/N I’m begging you, I want to talk.” He said again, voice breaking slightly.

You tried to pull away to get a better view of his face, was he crying again? He didn’t let you see. He loosened his grip on you and moved his head so his forehead was resting on your shoulder. “You don’t have to say anything, just please let me talk.” He told you.

You on the other hand were frozen to your spot. He had cried the night before, however you had blamed it on him being drunk… but now he was sober and it was hard for you to wrap your head around the situation because he had never been the type to cry. “Jeonghan…”

“You were right. You were right about everything you said. I don’t know shit about being a friend and about loving another person, I knew all along that you were in love with me and I took advantage of that because no matter what I did or said, you would always be there. I took you for granted, and every single time you came back, you always forgave me. I also hated that you made me feel things I didn’t want to feel. I hated that you were my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. I hated it because I was scared… it scared me that things like this…” he pulled at the shirt he was wearing, “…pissed me off. That guys flirting with you made me want to rip my hair out by the roots. It scared me that suddenly if you called, I was up and running to you to keep you company. It scared me that suddenly you had as much control over me as I did over you.”

Your heart was racing and thumping against your ribcage. Your eyes blurry with tears. “Then why…”

“Because I wanted to show you. I wanted to show you that I was still me, that no matter how much you loved me I wasn’t capable of loving you back. So when Lina approached me, I gave in without a thought… and then we got caught and you kicked me out and at first it felt good. I was happy that you had seen me, happy that you knew I was trash. But then you didn’t come back. I looked all over for you, but you were nowhere to be seen. Then 2 months later you were at that party and I thought it was my chance. I thought-” he choked on his tears, his face buried into your neck this time and you wrapped your arms around him unable to let him cry alone. “I thought we would be okay. Y/N, I thought you would be the same as before, but the look in your eyes was different. Your eyes were empty of that signature warmth they always had when they saw me. Then we fought and you left me. I deserved it, I know, but you left me.”

“I had a panic attack that night alone in one of Seungcheol’s bathrooms. It hit me then that I had lost you. It hit me that I would never be able to see you again, that you wanted nothing to do with me anymore. It hit me then, that I can’t fucking live without you because I’m in fucking love with you.” He spoke fast and loud, almost matching paces with your heart. “I love you. I love you so much and I miss you. I don’t want you to be away from me anymore. I gave you space. I didn’t look for you for 5 months, but now you’re here again and I don’t want to let go anymore. So please, please forgive me.”

Jeonghan dropped to his knees in front of you and you gasped grabbing at his elbows. “I’m sorry, just please take me back. Please talk to me again” he begged moving your hands from his elbows only for you to drop in front of him and hold him not saying a word. Both of you crying in the kitchen just holding each other for what felt like hours.

Eventually you were both calm. At some point he had managed to move you so you were sat on his lap with both his arms around your waist and his forehead resting against your shoulder again. “I love you” he whispered for the nth time, almost as if he was making sure you’d heard him.

“Jeonghan… I know this was hard for you to admit and I love you too, I love you more than anyone,” he raised his head so he was looking into your eyes again, “but it isn’t going to be easy. You broke my heart and my trust more than once, and it won’t be easy to fix that.”

“I know. I understand that entirely… I just want you to please let me try to make it up to you. God, I will do anything to make you forgive me.”

His eyes were big and rimmed red from all the crying, you wanted to kiss him… you’d only ever kissed him once in your life and that was when you were both 13 and wanting to lose your first kiss to one another as you had promised.

Your hands took his face in your hands and you pressed your lips against his. Quick to kiss you back, Jeonghan grabbed at your hips so you wouldn’t leave. He was warm and soft, but more importantly, though, he was in love with you too. He pulled away only when you were both out of breath and panting together.

“So when do you start making it up to me?” You asked with the tiniest hint of a smile.

A sigh of relief left him and a weight seemed to lift of his shoulders. He reached behind his neck and unclasped what you realized was your paper airplane necklace. Carefully, he placed the dainty thing around your neck clasping it together, his lips softly meeting your forehead.

“You make the rules now” he answered smiling right back at you.

And that’s a wrap! I was so happy to see the response you guys had for the first part of this Jeonghan au! I really hope you guys like this! Thank you so much for reading. If you want to request something specifically, feel free to ask!

(@xu-minju I promised to tag you! So here it its!)

-Miss Cakepop♡

#seventeen x reader #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan angst #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan au #svt x reader #svt jeonghan #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan scenarios #kpop scenarios #kpop au #seventeen #svt au #svt angst #svt scenarios #seventeen au

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kmomof4 · 4 years ago

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For the fic-writer meme: all of them! 😁 and if you wanna pick five to ask Hollye, I’ll ask the other five lol 😂😘

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Our secret is out!!! Yes, @hollyethecurious you were right! We conspired to get you to answer all 10 of the questions!!! There is more than one way to de-fur a feline, dontcha know! 😁

Anywho... Hollye also asked for #6, and @snowbellewells asked for 5, 7, 8, and 10.

I’m sorry it took me so long to get to these. It’s been a busy week and I really had to think about some of these! But without further ado, here we go! Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.

1. What’s your personal favorite thing you wrote this year?

My personal favorite fic I wrote this year is a tie between Of Darkness, Vampires, and Soulmates, The Moon... Tells the Sea, and State of Emergency: Code White. The first two both written for last summers CSSNS. I don’t have to tell you, Kayla, how much I loved your artwork that inspired TMTtS, but that fic was just so EASY to write. Your artwork just told the whole story and all I had to do was write it down. I want to say that it only took me a couple of weeks to write, once I really sat down and started writing, in the midst of lockdown and the school year coming to a close. And then had to wait like 6wks or something to post it!!!! That was REALLY tough!!! ODVS is a favorite because I loved the premise so much and how hard it was to actually write it. I started working on it in earnest in November of last year, but didn’t finish it until April. I came dangerously close to giving up on it several times but @hollyethecurious and @profdanglaisstuff were the ones who made sure I didn’t. So just by sheer fact of what it took me to finish it makes it a favorite. And finally SoE: CW was a favorite because I wanted to write it for a year before I finally sat down to do it. And while it was hard in that it was entirely out of my own head, I was so happy with how it turned out.

2. What’s your least favorite thing you wrote this year?

Least favorite fic was probably Chosen, Protected, & Saved, written for the CS Movie Marathon. I wasn’t finished with it when my posting date came around, and so I feel like the ending floundered a bit. I wasn’t overly thrilled with it.

3. Which of your fics was most different from what you usually write?

I will have to say Of Darkness, Vampires, and Soulmates, linked above. Just about everything I had written up to that point was inspired and/or heavily influenced by some other type of media, either book, movie, or show canon. This was really the first fic that came entirely out of my own head. I don’t really count Arise, My Love because it was basically PWP, just with vampires. This was the first fully fleshed out and plot driven fic out of my own head. There we go, that’s better. It was also the darkest thing I had, and still have, ever written.

4. Which of your fics this year was most successful?

By kudos on ao3, The Moon... Tells the Sea, linked above, sitting at 75. I’m not gonna try and determine the most successful on Tumblr...

5. Which of your fics do you wish was more successful?

I wish that Of Darkness, Vampires, and Soulmates, linked above, had been more successful. Of all the fics I’ve written, that one was the hardest and took the longest to write. So I wish that more people had read and enjoyed it. But I also know that supernatural and vampire fics aren’t on a lot of folks “must read” lists, so I try to keep a balance between that wish and that knowledge.

6. What’s your favorite piece of dialogue you wrote this year?

Off the top of my head, I’d have to say this scene from Ch2 of Chosen, Protected, & Saved, linked above. This scene in the movie, The Golden Child, is what inspired the entire fic.

Emma and Killian somehow made it through customs with the dagger after arriving back in the States. The only thing they could figure was that since the dagger itself was magical, it was magically shielded from anyone but magic wielders. As they exited the arrivals gate, he startled when he spied the man from his dream, the Dark One, coming toward him followed by several Boston police officers. He sauntered towards them, making a show of the gold tipped cane he carried. He was dressed differently than in his dream with a long greatcoat, in what looked like crocodile skin. Killian felt a chill run down his spine. The coat matches his smile, he thought.

“That’s the man. Killian Jones. If he doesn’t return my property, I want him arrested.”

Killian’s heart raced. He drew Emma’s attention to their adversary as his mind furiously tried to figure out how to get out of the coming confrontation. An idea came to him suddenly and he elbowed Emma, whispering to her to let him do the talking.

“Welcome home, Mr. Jones. You have something for me?” he asked, holding out his hand with a smug smile on his face.

Killian stared into the face that he had only seen in a dream. He looked at Emma, naked fear on her face, at the cops behind the Dark One, and then back at the man or demon before him. He couldn’t help the smirk that broke over his face as he anticipated playing the Dark One like a fiddle.

“I’m sorry, Rumple,” he loudly lamented, reaching for the lapels of the man before him. The Dark One stared at him, utterly taken aback. It only took a moment however, before his face grew red with extreme irritation as Killian released him and turned toward the crowded terminal. “Everyone,” he shouted, drawing the attention of all the people hurrying to catch their flights, “I should be punished. I have stolen from my brother, Rumple.” The Dark One’s jaw clenched with annoyance as Killian continued with his theatrics. Emma looked at him as if he’d lost his mind. “Officer,” he continued, pointing at the officers behind the Dark One, “It is your duty to take me in. Please,” he moved toward them holding his wrists out in front of himself, “I am ashamed of myself. I should be arrested.” He walked down the line of officers. “I should be flogged. I don’t deserve to walk among free men.”

Killian repeated his tirade until the Dark One grabbed his arm, motioning toward the officers in a placating manner. “Let me have a word with him, please.”

Killian felt himself being pulled away from the officers, so he turned his attention to Emma and raised his voice once again.

“Emma, I am a swine. You must know what kind of man I am, before we go any further in our dalliance. I am a wretch. I don’t deserve to live.” He winked at her and saw her fear and confusion morph into reluctant amusement. She shook her head as the corner of her mouth lifted in half a smile. He finally turned toward the furious Dark One before him.

“How long do you think you can keep up this miserable masquerade?” he hissed, his eyes blazing with his wrath.

“Well, until I get arrested.” He grinned cockily at him. “Or until you realize the rules of evidence in this country.” The Dark One raised his head slightly and Killian could just see a trace of unease in his eyes. He turned serious. “See, if I get arrested, they take me and put me in a jail cell. And then they take the knife, because it’s a stolen object, and they put that in a little room, and they put ‘Exhibit A,’ a little sticker that says ‘Exhibit A’ on it.” He mimed putting a sticker on something. “And the knife sits in a room and I sit in my room until the trial commences. And that can be anywhere from a month to a year. So if you get me arrested, there’s no telling when you will get your knife.” Killian broke into a wide grin at having the upper hand, thoroughly enjoying himself as he watched a vein pulse in the Dark One’s forehead. He could just imagine what the demon’s blood pressure was at this moment.

“You have no idea who I am, have you?” he sneered.

“Why, yes,” he exclaimed. “You’re my brother Rumple!” He let out an amused chuckle as the Dark One struggled to keep his rage under control. “Look, I know exactly who you are,” Killian’s eyes turned hard and his easy going smile disappeared, “Dark One.” The man before him nearly turned white in fury. Killian’s heart skipped a beat, but he plowed ahead, his own anger coming to the surface. “But, here’s the thing. I. Don’t. Care.” He punctuated each word with a poke to the demon’s chest. “I do care that you kidnapped Henry, though.”

“I could destroy you,” he snapped his fingers in the air, “just like that.”

Killian’s eyebrow raised in bored amusement. “Well, we’ll see about that.” He turned and looked back over at Emma and the officers still waiting off to the side. “Look, I am not going to be giving you this knife. And you do not want to get me arrested. And I will find Henry,” he sneered and snapped his fingers in the Dark One’s face, “just like that.” He patted the demon’s cheek. “See you soon.” He turned back toward the crowd, all smiles and held his arms out as if he wanted to embrace them all. “My brother has forgiven me! Emma, Brother Rumple has forgiven me!” He turned back to the seething Dark One and clapped him on the shoulder in an awkward embrace. “Dear Brother, thank you, thank you, thank you.” He then kissed him loudly on the cheek in a final taunt before releasing him and leading Emma into the crowd.

7. What’s your favorite piece of description or narration?

@searchingwardrobes betaed The Moon... Tells the Sea, linked above, and she told me that it was the most descriptive thing I’d ever written. That comment put me OVER THE MOON. And when I went back and read it the other day, I had to agree. I spent a lot of time describing the woods, Emma and Killian in their wolf forms, and just the general setting. It was so gratifying to hear that from a fellow author that I GREATLY admire and enjoy. I am also very proud of the Prologue of Chosen, Protected, & Saved, linked above, when I described Henry’s room before he is kidnapped.

8. Which fic this year was most fun to write?

I’d have to say that I had the most fun writing either The Moon... Tells the Sea, linked above, or the second chapter of Somewhere Out There. They were both relatively easy to write and I loved how they both turned out.

9. If you could go back and change something about one of the fics you wrote this year, what would it be?

I would change the circumstances around posting Chosen, Protected, and Saved and I’d probably work on the final battle more. I just wasn’t that happy with it.

10. What, if anything, are you going to try to do differently in your writing in the new year?

I’m gonna try and make more time to write. Since writing Chosen, Protected, & Saved, linked above, I’ve hardly written anything. I love reading and flailing more than anything so writing is very easy to set aside when I’ve got a lot of reading on my agenda, but I’m also bad about putting it on a back burner when RL comes calling. I think just setting the boundary of “I’m gonna write for one hour today” would go a long way toward keeping my mood up and help me get the fics I’ve got notes on in my docs actually written and posted. So we’ll see how that goes.

Thank you all for the asks @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713, @hollyethecurious, and @snowbellewells! Love y'all!!! 😘

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archiefms · 4 years ago

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𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒅𝒖𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒈 : 𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒆 𝒎𝒄𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒏 !

[ alex fitzalan, he/him, 24 ] did you see ARCHIE MCMILLAN ? looking as broke as ever. rumor has it HE is usually IMPULSIVE and SELF INVOLVED but is also known to be INDEPENDENT and CHARISMATIC. we’ll see about that. they kind of remind me of damp asphalt after a summer storm , coming to a screeching halt, and using duct tape for all problems . maybe because they’re a PISCES. they’ve been living around here for 1 MONTH. i wonder when they’ll make it out… [ em, 23, she/her, pst ]

hellooooo fellas !! if you would like to plot out any connections pls feel free to hit me up either on here or discord <3 I am down to clown lkjslf

i . STATS .

full name : archie mcmillan .

nickname : archie , arch .

birthdate : march 1st .

age : twenty - four.

pronouns : he / him .

gender : cisgender male .

sexuality : bisexual * leans more toward female / feminine .

aesthetics : damp asphalt after a summer storm , coming to a screeching halt , using duct tape for all problems , the eerie silence of a graveyard .

faceclaim : alex fitzalan .

ii . BIOGRAPHY .

he’s in the second grade when he’s first told that his family is poor , and it isn’t until fifth grade that archie begins to understand it himself . with hair long and curly , untamed like ocean waves , and clothing tainted with the stench of second - hand smoke and mildew , his teachers begin to take notice . in sixth grade , his name is called over the intercom and his classmates holler and cackle and point their fingers at him like he’s some sort of animal in a cage , but he manages to get out of the classroom before bursting into tears on his way to the counselor’s office . she sits him down the way your parents sit you down before they tell you awful news , but she tells him she’s only here to help , and if he could just tell her why he wears the clothes he wears and if his house has plumbing and if his parents ever hit him . he speaks , tells her he doesn’t know , yes , and no , but he must have told her something she wanted to hear , because her eyes widen and she tells him to continue . my father , he tells her , chain - smokes cigarettes in the car , in the house , sometimes blows the smoke in my face to make my mother laugh . by eighth grade , his father’s out of the picture , but his clothing still reeks of cigarette smoke and mildew , and though his hair is shorter , it’s greasy and freckled with white flakes . his mother hardly speaks to him, and that would bother him, but , he realizes , she doesn’t speak much at all after his father left .

by high school , he’s learned to shower at friends’ houses and learned to wash his own clothing at laundromats , and though the mildew stench is gone , his clothes now take on a different aroma . cigarettes , cheap beer , weed , and axe body spray . he’s not entirely fond of the smell of body spray , but it’s all he can afford , even after a summer mowing lawns around town . in junior year , he begins to take his schooling more seriously , finds himself immersed in textbooks and novels and documentaries in the late hours of the night . but , by the time second semester rolls around , he’s immersed in something else , someone else , a person who changes his viewpoint on the ideologies of love . her name is bonnie , a bright soul , rich in spirit and in wealth , a person who opens his eyes to the world of luxuries . he’s nineteen when they officially begin dating , a cat and mouse game played throughout the years they spent as friends , and though she’s a few years older , she doesn’t treat him like he’s naive . she’s open to him about everything , about her illness , about her wealth , about her motives . she leaves everything to him after her death , an ending they both saw coming all too well after her years battling cancer . money , a house , a car , a job with her father’s company – if archie’d only take it . he gives the money to a local hospital , sells the house and gives that money to his mother , but he keeps the car because the inside smells like her , smells like warmth and embers and leather and entirely bonnie .

he spends his time now working at the local bookshop now , and if he’s not clocked in , he’s sitting against its shelves rereading bukowski or baldwin , a cup of coffee nestled comfortably between his thighs . he’d gone to college for a semester , but dropped out once he realized he didn’t need a degree in order to get educated , and why should he waste money he doesn’t have to get a degree he probably won’t want ? he thinks often of his father and of bonnie and of his mother , who moved to florida with the house money . of other loves, as well -- more recent ones. a girl who somehow managed to climb into his head without knocking and fix herself in like a map pin. he wonders why people always leave , but perhaps he won’t ever discover the answer to that question , and , sometimes on his darkest days , he thinks the answer might be himself .

iii . DISPOSITION / PERSONALITY .

often gets told by elders that he’s an ‘ old soul ’ , but just thinks that’s a polite way of telling him he’s a bit darker , a bit out of place , especially in comparison to his peers . definitely has a darker sense of humor and oftentimes uses sarcasm and is known to be quite vulgar at times , especially if he’s under the influence . can be relatively meticulous , especially when it comes to reading – takes his time to underline words or phrases , likes writing in the margins . can be somewhat critical of others , and can be quite cynical at times , especially in terms of friendships and relationships . often has to question if feelings are genuine , both his own and other people’s , and definitely has abandonment issues . is both patient and impatient in the sense that he can be patient to see his mother after years of not seeing her , but is impatient that his water is taking too long to boil . is evasive , especially – but not only – when it comes to relationships or questions about himself , but is alluring enough for people to want to know more about him , he supposes . archie’s just … an overall darker personality , really .

iv . HEADCANONS .

1 . has definitely bought an old television at some point just so he could smash it with a baseball bat . it’s not that he’s fueled by anger or that he’s a generally angry person , because he’s not . it’s just that , sometimes , his emotions become all - consuming .

2 . enjoys buying vinyls and cd’s and will sometimes put on a record in the middle of the day at the highest volume and just kind of lay on his couch , smoke a couple cigarettes , and listen intently .

3 . has a wonderful relationships with books and spends a majority of his time reading and underlining and jotting notes down in the margins of books . books are , quite honestly , the only thing that has ever been a constant for him .

4 . drinks / smokes / drugs : yes , like a chimney , yes .

5 . is known to make cd mixtapes for people . also playlists on occasion .

6 . skateboards around town often despite owning a car .

7 . journals and wanted to attend college for english and creative writing .

8 . has a complicated relationship with sleep to the point that he either sleeps far too much or far too little .

9 . favorite book : giovanni’s room , things fall apart , the great gatsby , 1984 .

10 . favorite song : asleep by the smiths , just like heaven by the cure , arabella by arctic monkeys , let’s dance to joy division by the wombats .

#crawford:intro #wow #an angsty boi #so new and different for me huh #lkfgjdf

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winebleeds · 4 years ago

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@stfreds sent ❛ hair for raleigh / hands for liz / build for jamie / feet for maddie ! ❜

⤑ ON THE BODY

putting this under a readmore bc you pick the body parts i think about the most for raleigh, liz, and jamie.

[hair]: length, colour, texture, whether it grows quickly or slowly, how manageable it is, whether it requires lots of styling, do they leave stray hairs everywhere, is it present on their face, is it present on the rest of their body, etc.

if i can sum his hair in one word, it’s curls. his hair has always been curly since his infanthood and it’s one of his distinguishing features that he won’t shave. while sometimes his hair is longer where it rounds his face (or be able to straighten it it’ll be down his shoulders), he usually just keeps it where the curls are visible. it’s a friendly look that makes him look even younger, especially on him, & it helps with trust in term at work. i think the few times he didn’t have curls was attempting that straight hair of the late 2000s before just giving up, & cutting it shorter at the start of med school. so, this would be the longer curls while this is the shorter end. oh, and though others in his family have curly hair (like his uncle sasha or his cousin shay having nearly curled waves when not straightening it), he does have the curliest of ringlets of all of them.

as for everything else about his hair, he’s the only one of his siblings to have dark hair, where it’s hard to tell if it’s brown or black. this is the hair color of his mother’s side, including his mother’s. so it made him stand out with his fair headed or red headed siblings & cousins around ellesmere; even brandon, with the darkest hair, was a much lighter brown compared to raleigh’s & only shay’s became just at dark when she dyed it. though the curls assist with the appearance of hair thickness, his hair is most definitely thicc. and dense, something easily felt whenever fingers brush through.

and! he loves when people touch his hair! he could just stay still for hours if someone brush their fingers into his hair. and it’s a reason why he prefers his hair longer; this motion doesn’t feel the same with shortest hair & fingers closer to the scalp. then, yes, he sheds a lot, like his husky. the amount of curls in the roomba should make someone question how he isn’t bald... considering his hair doesn’t look like it’s receding anytime soon... even with the grey curls wrapping around the dark ones.

[hands]: are they large or small, do they have pianist’s fingers or short stubby ones, do they tend to get sweaty or are they always dry, is the skin rough or delicate, are the nails painted or chewed or sharp, etc.

for 5′2, her fingers are definitely longer than average! like, women taller by a few inches could have shorter fingers than her. they’re also very slender, like a ring size 6, so the piano fingers description fits here to a tee (despite... maddie & raleigh being the ones that played the piano). this style comes from her mother’s side, since her father’s side usually having the thicker, longer fingers built for strength. but her fingers are very useful in term of her job, being able to reach into smaller cervices and reaching further into them. her hand itself is on the thinner side, too, where the metacarpal bones protrude when she moves fingers.

like the rest of her body, her fingers appear even longer by the way they’re postured and maintain. her hands are dry, even with applying lotion, really from work & years holding reins. touches can’t hide the faint callous that sight can hide. yet, perhaps of appearance, they’re overall delicate, maybe because of the neutral colors of her nail polish with the occasional red or navy or how short she keeps her nails looks proper, professional for her work. or they’re delicate because they’re sensitive. they enjoy touch, feeling the smooth surfaces of metal or the softness of clothes or the roughness of old book pages, the cold marble or warm skin. with her preference for textures, and feeling the world literally with her fingers as a child, it helped her become hands on.

[build]: are they skinny and petite or do they resemble a body builder, are they tall or short or average height, are they lean and wiry, are they overweight, are all of their features proportionate, etc.

surprise! jamie’s been both skinny & thicc! he’s been short & tall in times where he wished was taller for sports. if someone that only new jamie at 15 saw him at 25, they won’t recognize him. so i’ll go over high school jamie and then present jamie.

highschool jamie: definitely a skinny little twirp. at first, he was simply lean, where his muscles haven’t recovered from his childhood bouts of illnesses, even with the years of healthy activity. but muscles did begin to become notable on small arms. still, it was noted how he looked like he didn’t have fat (‘he must have worms’ would be a common southern whisper). he was also on the shorter end, being 5′7 at 15. none of this really seemed to bother him, with his quick feet and surprisingly upper arm strength made him a rising football player.

then, the summer between his junior and senior year hit. there were some hints of the growth spurt, with constantly eating, the growth of an inch in may, & his hands always being bulky & tough like his father’s side... and his damn face always looked like his father. but a couple months brought boarder shoulders as his height rose to six foot. his arms showed the evidence of muscles that always helped with him pulling hay all her life. this definitely brought more popularity his senior year, even homecoming king, and more interested for college scouts originally hesitate on his height in the spring. his confident had a growth spurt too, towards the sky. yet, this came at a price...

today, he’s similar to his high school body. strong, muscled, with boarder shoulders while not looking too big. while closer to a body builder built, he skin isn’t as tense on his skin. like, in terms of his faceclaims, his figure is closer to gregg but his the shoulders of ojc (jamie’s between their two heights too). so, i do think this image is closet to a body reference.

[feet]: do they have a habit of going up on their tiptoes, what’s their usual stance, do they tend to shift their weight to a preferred side, etc.

due to heels on her boots, i do see her putting more weight at the soles of her feet. maddie does lean her weight between both sides of her body pretty equality, considering she bounces in place when on stage or getting excited. so that makes her feel lightweight on her feet, like she’s on clouds and quick to move. i think she gets on her tiptoes too bc of that.

#( v. answered )#( m. headcanon )#( r. headcanon )#( e. headcanon )#( j. headcanon )#stfreds #long post for ts /#body image /#veins /#even if i didn't mention it the imagery could be there just in case.

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dancewithyoutoday · 4 years ago

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OTP Tag Game!

I was tagged by @whaticameherefor, thank you so much my friend!!! <3 I could do these things all day lol

1. Ian x Mickey (Shameless)

2. Damon x Elena (The Vampire Diaries)

3. Brian x Justin (Queer As Folk)

4. Claire x Jamie (Outlander)

5. Clark x Lana (Smallville)

6. Wade x Zoe (Hart Of Dixie)

7. Rae x Finn (My Mad Fat Diary)

8. Seth x Summer (The O.C.)

9. Jane x Lisbon (The Mentalist)

10. Emma x Hook (Once Upon A Time)

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

Yes, I do. It was the pilot episode lmao

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2?

Nope. I started reading a fic about them a few years ago, but stopped after the first chapter. I guess I didn’t connect to the fanfic versions of them, so I’ve never tried again. Maybe because I felt they were already perfect and canon didn’t need any ‘improvement’? idk.

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver?

Uhm, once maybe? I can’t remember.

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

Well, they actually didn’t end up together in the show, they were only a couple for a very short time, but yeah, even though I was sad about it, I eventually accepted it, because it was the right thing for Rae in that moment.

5. Why is 1 so important?

Because they make me feel things no other couple has ever made me feel. They were two fucked up kids who needed love and understanding, two fucked up kids who fell in love in the darkest place. They are two men who know and understand each other in ways that no one ever could. They never gave up on each other, they could never be apart, their love is so strong it overcame time, distance, heartbreak and even two boyfriends lmao. They complete each other, they’re the actual definition of soulmate and I think no one deserves happiness more than they do. Plus, I kinda feel very very protective of them, I would literally protect them with my life if ever needed. Last but not least, they’re the OTP who made me fell in love with fanfiction. In fact, I only read Gallavich fics and I could never imagine my life without them anymore.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

I would say funny, because Patrick would always tease her or try to make her smile, but he was also dealing with the trauma of losing his wife and daughter, so it wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows between the two of them.

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Ian x Mickey and Damon x Elena. Hands down. (s1-s5 Delena, at least)

8. Out of all your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond?

I’m gonna cheat and say Gallavich, Delena and Claire x Jamie. I could never choose just one, because well, Damon was willing to wait for Elena for 60 years and more (and he really did until Elena finally woke up); Claire and Jamie reunited after 20 years and never stopped loving each other, not even for a day; Ian and Mickey’s bond is so strong that literally nothing could tear them apart. So yeah, I’ll go with these three!

9. How many times have you read/watched the 10’s fandom?

I watched OUAT just once. (if I understood the question?)

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

Uhm, Delena I guess? They became human again and we were shown that they remained together until the day they died.

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

They went through a few ups and downs, but the worst break up was in season 2 when Wade cheated on her.

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

Definitely Damon and Elena, they were supernatural creatures themselves after all, so at least they’d be prepared lol

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

Rae did hide it, for a while. She was too embarrassed to be seen next to Finn, because of all her insecurities and low self-esteem :(

14. Is 4 still together?

Yes, foreverrr!

15. Is 10 canon?

Absolutely, they even got married :’)

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

I literally know nothing about Hunger Games, but I’ll go with Delena again.

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

Let’s just say there were... many external factors lmao. Clark’s initial fear of hurting her, Lana marrying Lex, Clark becoming a jerk when exposed to red kryptonite, and finally... the Beast itself, green kryptonite. I don’t remember precisely how, but Lana finds herself sort of trapped in a suit made of green kryptonite, and that’s obviously the death of her relationship with Clark, since they literally can’t stay near each other and are forced to say goodbye.

Shh, Giulia, it’s fine. It’s been a long time, you’ll get over this.

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

Ian and Mickey. I love all the ships I mentioned, but Ian and Mickey are my children, I will always choose them over anyone and anything. Seriously, don’t touch them.

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?

Unfortunately there are very few pages that post about QAF and Brian x Justin nowadays, but the answer is yes, I would.

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

Jane and Lisbon, I’M SORRY.

This was so fun, thank you!!! asgshajaj I’ll tag @sickness-health-all-that-shit, @whatyouandihave-makesmefree, @beckyharvey29, @thisfeebleheart, @gallavich-and-millagher, @itwasnttheplanokay. I apologize if you already did it :))

#games

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seriouslyhooked · 5 years ago

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The Same Soul (Part 6)

Available on FF Here and AO3 Here. Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5.

Our world AU where Emma and Killian knew each other as teenagers. Killian was sent to spend a summer with family in America. He met foster kid Emma while there. They fell in love but then he was forced back home and she couldn’t take the memories so she ran away, trying her best to move on from the dreams they’d always hoped for. A chance meeting brings them back together years later, and this time nothing and no one will keep them apart. Rated M.

A/N: Hey all! So after a few months away from this fic, I am back and more ready than ever to tell this story. I love a fic that takes place in both the present and the past. It’s a really fun thing for me and I hope you all feel it adds some good context and dynamic to this AU overall. In this chapter we are back in the past, during the summer that Killian and Emma first met, and it’s been about a month since their first date. It’s a fluffy chapter to be sure, but there’s some moments that might have just a touch of angst. And that’s all I should say, don’t want to spoil too much. Anyway, hope you enjoy and thanks so much for reading!

(Past)

Today is going to be a really good day.

It was the first coherent thought that crossed through Emma’s mind this morning as she woke with the sun, stretching her still sleepy limbs across the softness of her mattress. She was thrilled at the prospect of today, and grateful to have a totally free and clear Saturday. Because there was no camp on the weekends, Emma was left to her own devices, and, as with most other free days that she’d had here this summer, she was going to spend that time with someone she now couldn’t imagine not being in her life.

Even the thought of seeing Killian sent a rush of warmth through her, and Emma knew if she looked in a mirror right now her cheeks would be flushed a noticeable shade of pink. She never blushed before, schooling herself to keep all of her feelings as contained as possible, but it was unavoidable with Killian. He just got to her in a way no one else ever had. He was charming, yes, and he was also crazy cute, so much so that he distracted her both when they were together and apart, but he was also thoughtful and attentive and patient in a way that let Emma know that he cared for her while also giving her breathing room to be whoever she wanted to be. Emma craved that specific blend of connection and freedom after years of being on her own, and she didn’t know how the hell he managed to understand her so well, but she’d started thinking of Killian as the ‘Emma whisperer’ in her secret musings these past few weeks.

For all her life, or at least as long as she could remember, Emma had been called closed off. The case workers assigned to monitor her and the people at the homes she stayed in said good things about her independence and self-reliance, but at the end of the day it was her guarded nature that people commented on most. That was purposeful, a defense against heartbreak that Emma learned long ago. If she kept people at a distance, and managed all of her expectations, she wouldn’t grow attached and wouldn’t feel disappointment. This made the way things were now so foreign to her. Emma had never woken up each day looking forward to the present. All her life she had been stuck, caught up in the flow of the small but unsteady existence she led. She had nowhere to belong and no one to belong to, and being so unmoored made it that much harder to invest in the good things in life. But this summer that was all beginning to change.

Part of it was this place, this corner of the world that was so serene and green and lively. It was so much quieter than the city she had always known, but no less alive. The woods out here were teeming with life, with birds and bugs and all sorts of creatures Emma felt like she’d never quite get used to seeing and she loved it. Every day was new, but it also felt routine. That was something Emma never really had, and so it calmed her, just as much as her nearly day trips to the coastline did. Watching the waves come in and out and hearing them lapping on the shore helped her center herself, and getting lost on the well trod paths out in the woods somehow made her feel more found than she ever had. She felt safe in this magical location, but so much of that sense safety also came from Killian.

It was hard to put into words why that was. There were so many little things, so many actions tied up in words and moments she would cherish forever, but it had been about month since she met him, and Emma swore each day her walls crumbled just a little bit more. There was so much between them now, and no one in the world knew her like Killian did. She had shared her thoughts, her dreams, and her hopes, and that was a huge thing for her because sometimes, in her darkest moments, she wondered if those wishes were worth having. Life had been hard, but this summer was a lesson in the goodness that could exist too, and when she thought of goodness Emma’s mind always started and stopped with Killian. She saw his smile, she heard his laugh, she felt the press of his lips on hers and the warmth of his hands on her body, and she replayed the quiet but bold affirmations he gave to her every day.

‘You steal my breath away, love.’

‘You make me hope, Emma. You make me feel that anything is possible.’

‘There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than with you.’

Those were just a few of the unimaginable things he’d said to her over the past few weeks, and somehow she believed him every time. The ability she had to sniff out a lie had never been triggered with Killian. He was honorable and honest, earnest and sincere, and while that was amazing and miraculous, it was also still an incredibly scary thing for Emma to know and accept.

Because right now, as good as things were and as happy as she was, there was a risk. This could all go sideways at any moment. This summer was eventually going to end. She was going to leave this magical place, and this boy who she loved was going to leave too.

“Love?” Emma said the word aloud, rocked into a state of shock that she’d so freely used a word she never shared with another living soul. She had never loved anyone before, but there it was: she loved Killian.

But that was crazy! Loving him was crazy, and yet she did, and she didn’t want to fight it. It was hard to tell if she even could. Nothing had worked against him when it came to her defenses. One by one he brought them down just by being himself, and the feeling when he did made it all seem worth it. If today was the last day she ever had with Killian, it might just kill her, but she couldn’t seem to run preemptively. She had to see him, had to soak this all in as much as she could.

Still, as she got ready for the morning ahead, Emma knew that there was one thing that scared her most when it came to Killian and it was simple even in its abundant complexity: where as Killian had been completely forthcoming, telling her everything about his life, from his derelict Dad to the passing of his mother, she had held back. She had given him so much more than she ever had to anyone else, but the most important part of all, the part about her being abandoned and never finding anyone who wanted her all this time, that was still a secret. He didn’t know she was in foster care, he just knew she was on scholarship. He asked about her family a few times and she diverted, but that was weeks ago. He respected her not wanting to discuss it, but what would he say when he knew? Would he still look at her like she was some kind of perfect person? Or would he see that she was ordinary, or worse that she wasn’t worth loving after all?

The tolling of the clock on the mantel told her that she had no more time to dwell in these awful what-ifs, because Killian was supposed to be here now. Since he had never ever been late in all their time knowing each other, Emma knew he’d already be waiting for her at the gate, and when she grabbed her bag and locked the door behind her, she turned to find she was exactly right. But still, even if they’d shared weeks of similar moments, she was still struck breathless by the sight of him, and the world seemed to spin just a little more than usual as she made her way towards him.

“Emma,” he said in greeting, his eyes filled with both relief and appreciation as she meandered towards him.

No sooner was she through the gate than his hands were on her, pulling her close with a speed that made her gasp. He smiled at her, running one hand along her cheek as the other held her hip. Then he dipped his lips to hers, kissing her with in a slow and sensual way that made her want more, while still being appropriate enough for this not so private place.

“I missed you, love,” he said when he pulled back, the truth in his eyes shining just as bright as the cerulean flecks in his ocean blue gaze.

“You just saw me last night,” Emma quipped, though her heart was pounding in elated satisfaction.

“Aye, but it makes no difference. You know I hate to leave you. Nothing feels right again until we are together.”

“Well lucky for you we have all day,” Emma said and Killian agreed he was a lucky man before kissing her again. This time though, their stolen moment was interrupted by a low whine coming from below, and Emma laughed as she pulled back, crouching low to greet the other favorite companion she’d met this summer.

“I’m not the only one who missed you,” Killian said as Emma loved on Missy with her usual vigor. She loved this dog so much, almost as much as Killian seemed to, and hearing she was missed not just by Killian but by Missy as well made Emma feel so special.

“I missed you both too,” Emma whispered as she stood up, ducking her head so Killian wouldn’t see her eyes which were threatening to water in the face of all this affection. But he waited her out, taking her hand and running his thumb back and forth along her skin absentmindedly.

“It won’t always be like this, Emma.”

Hearing that made her stomach cramp up in actual pain. It hurt to realize that Killian saw the end of this too. When summer came she’d miss him even more, but when Killian tilted her face up to his she was confused. Because he didn’t look sad – he looked determined.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that someday soon there will come a day when we don’t need to be parted. Not for a single night.”

Emma didn’t even know how to respond to that. She wanted it, but she also knew how far away that day must be. Here he was saying it would be soon, but they were still so young. They couldn’t make decisions about their life like that until they were of age, and though Killian was older, he had a few months left before he hit eighteen. But even with all that, the look in his eyes gave Emma no choice but to hope. He had that expression again, the one that said he’d stop at nothing to see a good thing come to pass, and everything she knew about Killian told Emma that where he had a will he would always make a way. Instead of responding to him directly, she pressed another swift kiss to his lips and smiled, watching as the action calmed him down and melted away some of the harshness of before.

“So, what are we doing today?” she asked, after pulling back and taking his hand once more.

“Nice try, love, but you know it’s not that simple,” Killian teased. His propensity for surprising her had only continued as the summer went on and Emma groaned, though it was mostly for show.

“You’re lucky I always bring everything just in case.”

Emma stopped short after her unanticipated confession, hoping that Killian wouldn’t realize how true that was. She essentially had everything that mattered to her in this bag right now. That’s how few belongings she really cared about. There were clothes and such at her living quarters, but the few items she truly valued went with her wherever she went just in case. She’d never had to run before, but she was always prepared, even now.

“You all right, Emma?” Killian asked and Emma nodded, regrouping and doing her best to immerse herself back in the day with Killian.

He made it as easy as possible to do so, bringing her to one of her favorite places in the area – the beach. Once there they walked along the coast, passing dozens of other people, some with their families, and some with friends, until finally they were at her favorite spot – a sandy patch nestled between rock-lined coves that Killian had brought her to a few weeks ago.

“I still can’t believe no one knows about this place,” Emma said, shaking her head in awe as she helped Killian spread out the blanket he’d brought for the two of them to use.

When that was done, she reached for her shirt, stripping it away and shedding her shorts leaving her in only her bathing suit, and she didn’t think much of it. She was so comfortable with Killian at this point and they’d done this a number of times. She didn’t think of it as anything more than an innocent act, but when she looked back over at him, surprised at his silence, she realized how much she effected him. The look in his eyes was a cross between ravenous and bewitched and it made her feel immensely powerful. She could have chosen to wilt under his appraisal or feel embarrassed, but how could she when he was so obvious? He was clearly very pleased with what he saw, and that was only fair seeing as how in a few short moments, he’d lose his shirt and she’d feel the same way.

“Cat got your tongue, Jones?” Emma teased and she heard a low rumbling sound that she might have mistaken for Missy if it wasn’t heard a time or two before. No, that was all Killian, losing his head again and letting some sort of primal side take over. It thrilled her to know how much he wanted her, and this back and forth was intoxicating to her. It turned out Emma liked a bit of a chase, and with that in mind she smiled widely at him before sprinting at the water, knowing he was half a second from pulling her close.

Hearing his curses and the sound of him trying to get rid of his own clothes was hard over her laughter, but Emma was now attuned to these moments that she’d play back later like her favorite song. She made it to the water’s edge, delighting in the cold ocean as it counteracted the heat of the sun and her exertion, but then she was caught, with Killian’s arms wrapping around her as he carried her further into the water. She screamed, but in a playful way, and then they were submerged together underneath the ocean swell, bobbing underneath the waves until they came back up again and she splashed him in foe offense.

“Killian!”

“What? We needed to cool off, love. If we didn’t we’d run the very real risk of being charged with public indecency.”

“Is that right?” Emma asked as Killian caught her again in the water. Being like this she let her legs wrap around him as he held her. She wouldn’t go so far in real life, but here it just felt right. It was a tease of what could be, and as she felt his hard body underneath her she squirmed a bit, making him groan again.

“Have I ever told you how tempting you are, Swan?”

“Only like every day,” she replied, biting her lip to keep back a smirk and getting exactly what she wanted in return – another heated kiss. And damn was it hot, even with the water around them, Emma was burning up, taking it just to the edge with Killian and wishing so badly that they could go even further. So far they hadn’t, choosing to be much slower in their physical intimacy while they truly got to know one another, but Emma was finding more and more each day how impatient she was. She didn’t like the waiting, and if Killian weren’t so steadfast in taking things slow… well, she didn’t really know where they’d be right now.

“God, you undo me,” he said resting his forehead against hers, his breath coming out in harsh pants that mirrored hers. She sighed at his words, closing her eyes and taking it all in. She wanted to keep this moment forever, just like all the others, and she was almost afraid to open her eyes again, thinking maybe this was all just some crazy beautiful dream.

Yet as the day went on, there was more and more proof that this wasn’t a dream. This was really her life, and Emma was happier than she’d ever been before. Their time on the beach evolved into a picnic in the cove, and then a long walk with Missy through town. They got ice cream, they watched the ships come in and out of port, and they talked with each other about anything and everything. As the sun set, they enjoyed the natural beauty, watching the sky change and the fading light bid goodbye to a nearly perfect day. It made Emma worry that they’d soon be saying goodbye to each other as well, but Killian had other plans. Down for anything herself, Emma followed him back through town not so far from where she was staying. Before they got there, though, Killian stopped at a giant estate Emma had seen before and recognized as his Uncle’s. She felt her heart catch – she’d never been to his Uncle’s place before. Was this some sort of meeting she didn’t know about? She wasn’t dressed for this, or ready, but before she could truly panic Killian kissed her hand in a knowing and gentle manner.

“Don’t worry, love. We’re not going inside tonight. My plans are of a more outdoor nature.”

Emma expelled a breath, glad for that fact but then her mind wandered to how gorgeous this place was. As spectacular as the main estate was of her benefactress, this house was just as palatial but in a different way. It was less manicured and groomed. The flowers here were less cultivated and more organic, honoring the true beauty of the world around them. Emma still couldn’t fathom why anyone needed a house so large, but as they went behind the house, Emma’s breath caught again.

“Oh my god,” she said, the words carrying on the wind as she took in the sight before her. For there was a path lit up in the night by tasteful, gilded lanterns leading deep into the woods.

“I wish I could take the credit for these, but my it’s all my Uncle’s doing.”

“He must be a real romantic,” Emma said, and Killian looked thoughtful.

“Perhaps. If he is, he’s sadly unmatched now.”

“He could still find someone,” Emma said, suddenly hoping for happiness for a man she’d never even met.

“I hope he will,” Killian said. “But trust me, Swan, this isn’t what I brought you here to see.”

Emma couldn’t imagine what could be better than this, and the whole way out into the woods she found herself wondering where they could be going. The golden glow around them as the twilight darkened towards full blown night was so surreal and almost otherworldly. She could hardly fathom where it would lead, until they came to a large clearing. She waited for something, not really understanding what the end game was here and just when she was about to ask why they had come here she spotted the first blip at the corner of her eye.

“Fireflies,” she whispered, not realizing if she spoke aloud the thought that crossed her mind.

For nearly seventeen years Emma wondered what fireflies really looked like. Would they embody the magic that stories and movies seemed to make of them? It was somewhat suspect to her, until now, when she could feel the anticipation and the instant satisfaction of seeing one and then another and then another. This clearing, for whatever reason, was filled with them and it seemed Killian had timed this exactly right for them to take in the show.

“Now some might say that this is the best seat in the house. They don’t seem to go very far into the trees, so you can see them all just fine right here.” Killian murmured the words as if speaking too loudly might scare away these new little beings.

“But what if…” Emma trailed off, not wanting to ask for more when he’d already given her so much. Yet again Killian’s thoughtfulness was gifting her with an impossibly wonderful experience, and to make a suggestion right now just felt ungrateful.

“What if we wanted to be in the thick of it?” Killian asked, reading her mind and Emma nodded quickly prompting a smile from Killian. “Well, I came prepared for that.”

Emma tore her attention between the continuing lights around them and Killian rummaging through his backpack, but when he produced two flashlights covered in blue tissue paper she was surprised. “It’s an old trick my brother learned when we were kids. Fireflies are drawn to the color blue. It attracts them, like moths to a flame.”

“I can relate,” Emma said, thinking of Killian’s eyes but covering her mouth in horror as she realized she said that aloud. “Pretend I didn’t say that.”

“Not likely, Swan,” Killian replied, pulling her closer and kissing her sweetly before handing her her flashlight. “Now come on, we’ve only got a little while with them. Let’s make the most of it.”

Emma was glad for his request because he ended up being oh so right. The lightening bugs were breathtaking and astounding, spiraling through the meadow in entrancing little swirls, some of them even landing on her and Killian. He was right about the lights. They seemed to love it, and Emma adored the sensation of being surrounded by them all. Everywhere she looked there were golden blips, sparkles in the night that pulsed in perfect harmony with the rest of this wooded grove. She instantly knew that stories couldn’t do this justice. One had to experience this, they had to feel the summer heat turning to a nighttime cool, smell that woodsy smell of fresh earth and green leaves, and hear the gentle buzzing of these tiny beetles in flight. Only though first hand experience could someone understand the real beauty behind this and appreciate what a strange and amazing occurrence this was in nature. It made Emma believe in something else, something divine, because such a perfect moment couldn’t be an accident. It had to be fate.

They stayed out there, for how long Emma couldn’t be sure, but in that time she let her guard down completely, even more than she usually would. Killian always made her feel older, like a woman or an adult, but right now this was a space where they could be a bit more childlike. She never had this as a little kid and she loved it, and Killian seemed to love her love. They laughed together, running around at different moments, taking in the ebb and flow of these little lightening bugs with the help of their flashlights. Sometimes they landed on her, lighting up her sun-tanned skin in this almost ethereal way, other times they lit up Killian, illuminating his expression which was already so bright and happy, making Emma’s palpable joy climb even higher. But eventually, their private little light show ended. Perfect moments had to come to a close, and one by one the bugs flew off, leaving Emma and Killian out there alone under the pale moonlight, lying out under the ever brightening stars.

“God that was… I don’t even have words.”

“So you liked it then?” Killian asked, as if it wasn’t a given that this was one of the single best moments of her life.

“I’ve never been so happy,” she confessed, looking over to Killian and wondering if it was okay to say that. Did she seem weird or desperate? It only took one moment to know he didn’t see her that way.

“There’s something I have to tell you, Emma. Something I’ve been wanting to say for a long time.” She could hear her heart beating in her chest, pounding in anticipation until he said three words she wanted to hear more than any other. “I love you.”

Emma let those three little words wash over her, seeping into her very being like water to a rose. The elation at knowing that this incredible human being could feel for her what she felt for him was sensational. In the magic of the moonlight, lit up as she was from such a perfect day, Emma finally knew what it was to belong and to feel at home. Killian had made all of these beautiful moments possible in her life. He made ordinary things feel extraordinary and exceptional. He looked out for her, applauded her, cheered her on ,and believed in her. He made time for her and he listened to her, reassuring her at every impasse that she was smart and fun and worth being around. He showed her every single day since the first day they met that she was important to him, and right now, when he told her he loved her she knew that he meant it. In a bond forged in honesty and truthfulness, this was somehow the truest thing he’d ever said to her, and it brought happy tears to her eyes. She wanted this so much – wanted him more than anything else in the world – but he didn’t really know her, and realizing that she now had to come clean broke her heart.

“I know you think that, but you wouldn’t say that if you knew everything,” Emma said, sitting up and hiding her face as her knees automatically came in, curling her up into a fearful stance. But before she could retreat too far into herself, she felt his hand on her, a gentle reminder of his devotion.

“Emma, I promise you there is nothing to know that would change how I feel. I love you. Don’t ever doubt that. Whatever you think there is still left to tell me, I swear on everything it won’t change my love.”

“But it will!” She cried out, her tears no streaming as her throat closed from the pain of it all. “You don’t get it. You can’t love me because no one ever has. I have no parents, no family. They gave me up. They didn’t want me.”

“Emma,” Killian whispered, but she couldn’t let him reassure her. She appreciated that his hands stayed on her but she had to get this out.

“I don’t know what happened to them. I was found as a newborn and no one could figure out where I came from so I went into the system and I never left. When I was little I liked to think that they still wanted me. Maybe they’d come back. Maybe they were sorry for leaving me. But whatever kept them from keeping me it doesn’t matter. The end result is the same. I went into the system and no one ever wanted me. I was never good enough. I never fit. I don’t belong.”

“That’s not true, Emma. You do belong. You belong right here with me.”

“How do you know that? How are you sure?”

“Because there’s nothing in my life that means as much as you. No one who makes me feel so much, who makes me want again. You are this rare and impossible treasure, like an angel from a dream and yet you’re real. And it doesn’t matter to me where you come from, it only matters because it made you Emma, the girl I love, the only one I ever will.”

“I love you too,” Emma confessed, “But I’m scared. I’ve never loved anyone. I don’t know how – I -,”

Her worries were pushed aside as Killian brought her close, kissing her apprehension away and trying to show her the intensity of his feelings. His faith in this was so strong and so reassuring, it was impossible to deny him. His love was still so strong even though he knew. She had told him her last terrible secret – she’d shared just how lost and lonely she really was – and here he stayed, claiming her, wanting her, loving her.

“I thought I was broken, Emma,” he said as they came apart, but just barely, clinging to each other with all this heavy emotion swirling around. “When my Mum died I thought I was mostly gone with her. I didn’t think I’d ever be happy again, I felt like nothing mattered anymore, and then I met you and I realized that even in darkness there is light. You saved me, Emma. You made me whole, putting back pieces I never had, even when she was here. And you did it with your smile and your wit. You did it with the look you get when you know you’re right, and the way you always want to help anybody in any way that you can. I hadn’t even known you a day and I knew I’d never be the same, and that I want you forever. I didn’t get a chance to say it before, but I feel as you do. Today was the happiest I’ve ever been and it’s all because of you. Because you love me, and because, even if you’re afraid, I know that love isn’t going anywhere.”

“I might mess this up,” Emma admitted, knowing that anything was possible with something so new and foreign to her.

“You couldn’t even if you tried, love. Something this right is fated to happen. You can’t run away from destiny. You can’t muck it up. It follows you, and you, Emma Swan, are my destiny.”

How could she compete with words like that when they spoke to exactly how she felt? Emma didn’t know, so she followed her instincts, pulling him close and spending the rest of the few precious hours they had left before her curfew reveling in this new state they were in. Love had been here for some time, but to have it shared like this, spoken aloud and agreed to so clearly was indescribable. She still was afraid, she still was unsure, but that wasn’t going to hold her back. Whatever she didn’t know she would learn, and whatever obstacles may come, she knew Killian would be there for her every step of the way. She just had to keep fighting and keep choosing this new life, two things she planned to do as long as she had her soul mate by her side.

Post-Note: Hey all, so I know that I have done the firefly thing before, but for me personally it’s one of the highlights of every summer. I genuinely love seeing the fireflies. I loved catching them as a kid, I love watching them with my family, and I think sharing that magic with someone you love is just about the sweetest thing you can do. I wanted Killian to share that with Emma, and I think that having written so many stories, it’s okay if there’s some overlap. I mean as the self-dubbed queen of fluff, I have recycled a trope or two before already… Anyway, next chapter is going to also be partially in the past and as you might have guessed it will be from Killian’s POV. That being said, it’s a very heavy chapter but I will not leave you guys in pain or suspense. There’s nothing I hate more than leaving a story in a precarious place, especially emotionally, trust that I will make it right even if I break our hearts just a little bit in the process. As always, I thank you all so much for reading. I hope you’ve enjoyed, and I would love to hear what you think!

#captain swan #captain swan fic #captain swan ff #captain swan fluff #cs fic #cs #cs au #cs fluff #cs ff #captain swan au #emma swan #killian jones #the whole storybrooke gang #ouat au #cs high school au #CS modern AU #the same soul #the same soul 6

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astral-enchantments · 5 years ago

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-Top 10 RWBY Songs-

10. Like Morning Follows Night

“Go where you need to, no I won’t leave you. I’ll follow you like morning follows night.”

Man what a powerful song. I know Bumbleby is cannon now, but I still (platonically) ship these two so much!!! I feel like Sun was there for Blake when so few others were, she felt so alone but left to keep her friends safe, and then Sun shows up saying that even in her darkest hour he be there for her. Oof. This ones in ten only because of the rap portion near the end cause that kinda ruins the emotion of the song.

9. All That Matters

“Then you appear, together we’re here. And that’s all that matters somehow.”

Aaaaah, If ‘Like Morning Follows Night’ makes me emotional, this song takes the cake. I’m not even a huge Bumbleby shipper but I just love this song. Yang’s conflicting feelings of wanting to be happy Blake is back, but also still feeling betrayed that she left.

8. This Life is Mine

“Listen when I say, I swear it here today, I will not surrender, this life is mine!”

Not only is this song a beautiful callback to ‘Mirror Mirror,’ but it also shows how much Weiss has grown since volume one. She no longer feels obligated to listen to her father and conform to what he wants of her. Her life is her own, and she will carve her own way in the world.

7. Caffeine

“I’m a bad dream, I’m a rad scene, I’m a tad mean, but I’m not afraid to take you out!”

This song is a big pickup for me when I’m feeling down. It’s super upbeat and a great theme song for team CFVY. I know it’s not quite as emotional as other songs on this list, but that doesn’t make it bad, in fact, quite the opposite. I really hope we get to see them when we go to Vacuo.

6. Bad Luck Charm

“I am no ones blessing, I’ll just bring you harm. I’m a cursed black cat, I’m an albatross, I’m a mirror broken. Sad to say, I’m your bad luck charm.”

Qrow is such a tragic character and his theme in volume four really reflects this. Even now after meeting Clover who tried to show him the bright side of every situation, he is killed thanks to Qrow and feels as cursed as ever. Also this song is just a fricken bop.

5. Divide

“One spark can insight their hope, and ignite the hearts of their weary souls. I will extinguish that flame!”

Oh my gosh, between this and Sacrifice, Salem has some of my favorite villain themes ever. It has a bunch of callbacks to her speeches at the beginning of volume one and end of volume 3, has a clearly sinister motif that very heavily hinted that Ozpin wasn’t telling us the whole truth about Salem, and was generally really enjoyable. I like to listen to it when I’m writing for the villains in my D&D campaign :)

4. Cold

“Now it’s cold without you here, it’s like winter lasts all year. But your star’s still in the sky, so I won’t say goodbye.”

Now this ones amazing for multiple reasons: one, it very clearly portrays Jaunes loss after Pyrrha dies, and two, is a tribute to Monty Oum, the creator of RWBY. (It also has a RvB reference since he worked on that, the whole ‘I hate goodbyes’ think from the freelancer arc) Anyways this song never fails to make me cry. Rest In Peace Monty Oum, may your show forever carry your legacy.

3. Red Like Roses

“Red like roses fills my dreams and brings me to the place you rest. White is cold and always yearning, burdened by a royal test. Black the beast descends from shadows. Yellow beauty burns gold”

This is the song that introduced us to RWBY, and might I say, it did an amazing job of setting the stage for what was to come. It gives us just a hint of backstory for our main characters, as well as developing an immediate theme of color. There are only the lyrics I featured above, as the rest of the song is a backtrack for Ruby fighting the beowolves. But all in all, this is the song that started it all, and it did a fantastic job.

2. Time to Say Goodbye

“Were we born to fight and die? Sacrificed for one huge lie? Are we heroes keeping peace? Or are we weapons, pointed at the enemy so someone else can claim a victory?”

This is, by far, my favorite opening for any RWBY volume. It gives us some hints of things to come, and sets the stage for the tone shift in volume 3. It also showed how there was a much bigger picture than just a bunch of teenage girls taking down a local crime lord. Also, have y’all heard the acoustic cover of this song? So pretty!

And before number one a couple of honorable mentions:

I’m the One

All Our Days

Armed and Ready

This Will Be the Day

1. Home

“ I don’t know where we should go, just feeling farther from our goal. I don’t know what path we will. E shown, but I know that when I’m with you, I’m at home.”

Just a beautiful song that shows how powerful the ‘found family’ trope can be. I like to think Summer sung this to Ruby when she was young. I just really love this song, volume four really had all the best songs didn’t it? I guess that was Rooster Teeth making up for the plot.

#RWBY #Ruby Rose #Weiss Schnee #Blake Belladonna #Yang Xiao Long #Monty Oum #Rooster Teeth #RWBY Soundtrack #Get ready to cry

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javistg · 5 years ago

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Snapshot 8

Canon compliant, GBT snippets of every day life.

Everlark. The first summer after the war.

Camp Nano has officially begun!

I’m supposed to be writing new chapters for my WIPs, --and I am-- but I couldn’t resist the temptation to sneak one of these little pieces into the mix.

As some of you know, these snapshots are supposed to be 1,000 words or less, but this little story has been sitting in my drafts folder for years, so I guess you can understand why I was incapable of keeping it short.

Alright, enough introduction! Hope you enjoy.

Looking for the rest of the collection?

Snapshot 1, Snapshot 2, Snapshot 3, Snapshot 4, Snapshot 5, Snapshot 6, Snapshot 7.

The Hunting Partner

The sun was high up in the sky when Katniss pushed her front door open. It was a lovely day with clear blue skies and not a cloud in sight. A gentle breeze came down from the mountains keeping the sticky summer heat at bay.

Filling her lungs with the sweet smell of the gardenias she had planted along the veranda, Katniss smiled. It was a little late to go hunting, but the world outside seemed so inviting that she still wanted to go out for a walk.

She was halfway down the street that crossed the Victors’ Village when she saw Peeta. He was sitting on a bench with his legs stretched out in front of him. A contented smile played on his lips as he slowly flipped the pages of the book he held in his hands.

Katniss stopped in front of him, bouncing a little in place to release some of her new found energy. “Hi!”

Peeta looked up. As soon as he saw her, his eyes lit up. “Hey! Going hunting?”

Katniss shook her head. “It’s too late. I’m just going out for a walk.” Tilting her head towards the woods, she asked, “Wanna come?”

Peeta closed the book with a loud snap and stood up. “Sure! Do I need to bring anything?”

“Nope.” Katniss patted the hunting bag she carried over her shoulder. “I’ve got plenty of goodies right here. We can share.”

“OK.” Waving the book in his hand, he said, “I’ll just drop this off on my porch, and we’ll go.”

A moment later, they were on their way.

An easy silence fell over the pair as they crossed the gates leading out of Victors’ Village and turned onto the unpaved road that took them to the edge of the woods. It was a path they often followed --one they took every Sunday after having brunch with Haymitch and Thom and a few of their other neighbors—and the familiarity and peacefulness of their surroundings comforted them like a soothing balm.

When they reached a fork on the road, Katniss stopped. Pointing to the trail leading to the right, she asked, “Do you mind if we go this way?”

Peeta followed the direction of her finger. They usually kept to the pathway on the left, the one that circled the outline of the woods, but he knew Katniss went deeper when she was on her own, and he trusted her to know the way back. “No. Lead the way.”

Almost as soon as they began walking, the vegetation became thicker. Tall, majestic trees grew closer together, bringing shade and a welcome relief from the warm sun above.

Katniss quickened her pace. Peeta easily followed.

After a few twists and turns, he noticed a change in incline. Looking up ahead, he saw that the narrow path turned upwards leading up a hill.

After climbing for a few minutes, the pair reached a rock ledge overlooking a valley. The smooth, flat boulder was surrounded by a thicket of berry bushes which kept it hidden from prying eyes.

Katniss stopped and, for the first time since they’d started walking, Peeta noticed her shallow, rapid breaths.

Worried, he placed a soft hand on her shoulder. “You OK?”

Katniss nodded. She lifted her hunting bag from her shoulder and dropped it on the ground, right beneath the rock. “Want to sit down?”

“Yeah.” Peeta walked around the rock formation and waited for Katniss to sit before joining her.

As her breathing slowed down, Katniss folded her legs, pressing them to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them. She dropped her chin on her knees and stared at the valley down below.

It’d been a long time since she’d been there. Now that Gale was gone, it didn’t make much sense to go to their meeting spot anymore. She didn’t understand the impulse which had driven her out there that morning, --she certainly hadn’t been planning on taking that route when she’d first set out-- but something had snapped inside of her on that fork on the road; an inexplicable need to reconnect with this place and share it with Peeta.

It was a bit odd, being there with him, --his solid, sturdy presence, the sound of his breathing, his enticing scent were so unlike Gale’s-- but he didn’t feel like an intruder. Ever since they’d started going on their Sunday walks, the woods had become an extension of the life they shared together. One more routine they had created; one more hurdle they overcame as a team.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that he was looking away from her. A small smile turned his lips as he took in the beauty of the valley below with its meandering river and lush clusters of bushes, wildflowers, and trees.

Hunting was something she did alone, but she liked sharing the beauty of the natural world with him. She loved seeing it through his eyes. The way he captured the essence of the places they visited in his paintings boggled her, and she couldn’t wait for the day when she felt strong enough to take him to her father’s lake.

Her mind flew back to the little cement building by the water’s edge, and the last time she’d been there. Unbidden, a dark cloud wrapped around her heart.

Her life had been so disjointed then. The world had been at war, Peeta had been a prisoner of his ghosts, and Gale…

Gale had been angry —angry and hurt.

She remembered trying to appease him by kissing him during their visit to her home but, as usual, it hadn’t been enough. Once again, she had failed, and that gaping wound that existed between them --that chasm that had made it impossible for her arguments to reach him in District 2, and in Bette’s lab-- had only grown.

They had been friends, the best of friends, the kind of friends who shared everything they had but, somewhere down the corridors of District 13, she had taken a wrong turn, and she had lost him.

The boy who had once shared this very spot with her had finally found the appreciation and approval he sought in Coin’s command room. It was really no wonder he had given free rein to his darkest instincts. Blinded by his anger, Gale had simply searched for what he thought was the light.

Overcome by sadness, Katniss tightened her hold on her legs and let out a shaky sigh. It seemed impossible that this bright, beautiful day could turn gloomy at the drop of a hat.

Peeta’s soft voice broke through her fog. “You miss him.”

Katniss closed her eyes, cradling Peeta’s words against her chest. They weren’t a question or an accusation, just a statement of fact and, as such, she acknowledged them.

Pressing her cheek to her knees, she turned to face him. “How can you tell?”

Peeta shrugged. “It’s written all over you.”

Katniss looked away, feeling small and weak. Peeta was right. As much as she hated some of the things Gale had done, she still missed him. She missed his laughter and his warmth. She missed the simplicity of the lives they’d once shared.

Next to her, she felt Peeta shift. Suddenly afraid that he was going to leave, she turned towards him. “I’m sorry,” she apologized in a panicked whisper.

Peeta leaned closer to her –a sure sign that he wasn’t going anywhere. His bright blue eyes found hers, and she held on to his gaze. There was no animosity there, no recrimination, just acceptance.

“Don’t be sorry,” Peeta said. “Gale is this huge part of you, Katniss. I’m actually surprised that…” Cutting his words short, Peeta pressed his lips together and shook his head. With a soft huff, he turned away from her.

Katniss let go of her legs and turned to face Peeta. They’d had all sorts of conversations over the past few months but, for some reason, they’d hardly even mentioned Gale.

It wasn’t surprising, not really, her hunting partner had always been a thorny subject between them. She hadn’t been strong enough talk about Gale’s actions during the war with anyone but Dr. Aurelius but, sitting there, –on that ancient ledge where she’d spent so many happy hours-- she couldn’t escape the notion that, maybe, that was why she’d brought Peeta on this walk.

Reaching out to touch his shoulder, Katniss pressed, “You’re surprised that what?”

Peeta let out a long breath. His head dropped, and his shoulders slumped forward following the motion. His face was like a clean slate, devoid of any discernible emotion when he looked back up at her. “I’m surprised he isn’t here.”

“He has that big job in Two,” she reminded him.

Peeta chuckled at her weak excuse, “Yeah, I know, but… He hasn’t even visited.”

Katniss shrugged. “He’s busy.”

“Busy?” Peeta shook his head, unconvinced. “No, Katniss, that’s not it. You’re here. He’s not. Something must have happened between you two, I just don’t know what.”

And there it was, the moment when she’d finally have to come clean --when she’d have to fill him in in all the sordid little details of the horrible avalanche she hadn’t been able to stop.

Bracing herself for what was to come, Katniss filled her lungs with the familiar scent of green moss and damp earth which surrounded her and gathered her courage.

“You’re right.” She nodded, slowly acknowledging Peeta’s words. “I do miss him. I miss my hunting partner, my friend. I miss the boy who would sit with me on this rock to share a joke and a laugh. I miss divvying up our haul at the end of a long day. I miss knowing our families would be waiting for us on the other side of the fence.”

Straightening her back, she found Peeta’s eyes –they were still and steady as he hung to her words. “But I don’t miss all of him. I don’t miss his possessiveness and jealousy, or the way he made assumptions when I came back from my first Game. And I definitely don’t miss the angry Capitol hater who only dealt in absolutes and didn’t care for other points of view.

“Sometimes, when I’m having a bad day, I miss the brave fighter who raided the Capitol with us, our brother in arms,” she admitted, her voice hardening under the weight of her disappointment, “but I don’t miss the Mockingjay’s fan; or the overeager soldier who followed Coin’s instructions blindly.” Overwhelmed by the anger boiling within her, Katniss looked away.

Peeta, who had been momentarily shocked into silence by sadness and confusion, found his voice. “What instructions, Katniss? What did he do?”

Katniss sighed, the words were there, but she wasn’t ready to say them, not yet. So, she leaned back, lying flat over the cold, smooth rock. A canopy of bright green leaves hung from the branches up above, shielding her face from the glare of the midday sun and creating a kind of cocoon where she felt safe from harm.

In a soft, wistful whisper, she began. “Have I ever told you how Gale and I met?”

Curious, Peeta laid down next to her, propping himself up on his arm to look at her. “How did you two meet?”

“It was out here in the woods. I was still twelve, and --the first time we spoke-- he threatened me.”

“What?” Peeta blurted out, “You were a teeny little thing! Why would he do that?”

Katniss’s eyes twinkled in amusement at the shock on his face. “He didn’t mean anything by it, he just thought I was about to steal his rabbits, and he wanted to scare me straight.”

Softly, as if trying to keep her memories just between them, Katniss told Peeta about the tenuous alliance she had first established with Gale. She talked about their first trades, explained how they had eventually learned to trust each other.

A lonely tear ran down her cheek when she spoke about the first time Gale and Prim had met. Her heart clenched as she remembered Prim being a bit weary of the older boy who looked so much like a grown man. “But he was so nice to her, Peeta. She was like another sister to him.” Her voice broke at this, the memory too painful in light of what had happened later.

Peeta reached out to wrap his hand around her arm. “Katniss, you don’t have to--,”

“Yes, I do,” she sniffed, wiping the tears from her face and resting her hands like a protective shield over her chest.

“I don’t really know much of what happened when I arrived in District 13. I spent the first few days unconscious and, even when I was awake, I was completely disoriented. But I know that, soon after being rescued, Gale was…” Katniss stopped, searching her mind for the right word to explain what had happened. None seemed right. “I don’t know, I guess he was recruitedby Coin.”

Peeta creased his forehead. “Recruited? Wasn’t everyone recruited into Thirteen’s army as soon as they arrived?”

“They were, but this was different. The refugees, they all… They all said Gale had been the one to lead them out into to the woods. They said he kept them safe. I guess Coin was impressed by that, so she took an interest in him. She must have also found out we were friends at some point –maybe she even thought we were related, I don’t know, but I think that might have spiked her interest even more.

“By the time I started moving around, he was already entrenched in their little group, tightly wrapped around Coin’s little finger. They included him in tons of tactical meetings and assigned him to work in the weapons development lab next to Beetee. From then on, all his energy went into defeating the Capitol and winning the war.”

Peeta tilted his head, uncertain. “I seem to recall him hanging around you a lot.”

“He did. He was usually busy, but he made time so that we could have most of our meals together. He also came with me whenever I left the district, and we even went out hunting in Thirteen a few times.” The ghost of a shy smile turned her lips at the handful of pleasant memories she had from those unfamiliar woods. “He was supportive, patient even, and I was grateful. I thought we had gone back to just being friends.”

Katniss closed her eyes, losing herself for a moment on the comfort of the world around her; the delicate murmur of leaves rustling in the wind; the warm caress of the sun on her cheeks; the steady rhythm of Peeta’s breathing as he lied next to her.

The soothing pattern Peeta’s thumb had been tracing over and over on her arm brought her back. “I was so lonely, Peeta. I was just glad to have someone who knew me by my side.”

“I know,” Peeta whispered. After everything they’d shared in the past few months, she believed him.

“You know?” she said, looking at him once more, “When he volunteered to get you out of the Capitol, I thought he was doing it for me --because I was so broken-- and I was so grateful, but I was also worried. I remember sitting by Finnick’s side, my head going round and round in circles, thinking I was going to lose both of you that day.”

Her chest tightened as she thought about those long dark hours she’d spent tying knots next to Finnick as they waited –and waited-- for the worst to happen.

Needing to ground herself in the moment, Katniss covered Peeta’s hand with one of hers. He immediately squeezed her arm in response. It was the gentlest of touches, but it was all the encouragement she needed to go on.

“But now, after everything that’s happened… I think that maybe Gale just did it because he felt guilty —because he felt like he owed you for standing up to Thread.

“I wouldn’t mind that,” she mussed, “I understand the need to repay a debt --and that was something big, what you did for him-- but I can’t escape the feeling that he was also doing it for his precious Mockingjay. Bringing back what I wanted just so that I could put on the uniform and start rallying the troops again.”

Peeta shook his head. “No. I mean, you’re probably right about him wanting to repay a debt —I’ve always assumed that was why he rescued me— but I’m not so sure about the rest. There’s no doubt Gale was devoted to the cause, —even I could see that— but I can’t believe the revolution mattered more to him than you did.”

Tears filled her eyes. That’s because you don’t know the whole story yet, she thought.

Tightening her grip on his hand to keep him close, she said, “The thing is… I don’t care anymore. I don’t care about his reasons or his motivations. All that matters to me is that he brought you back. You were confused and broken, and you hated me, but you were safe —safer, at least— and away from Snow. That’s all that matters.”

Letting go of her arm, Peeta turned his palm up and pressed it into hers, lacing their fingers together he brought both hands to rest on his chest, right above his heart. “Why are you so angry at him?”

Katniss’s eyes darkened, the storm within her aching to be set free. “Because he stopped listening, and he used what Snow did to you as an excuse to become ruthless. Because he reached a point where he only followed the path Coin set for him.

“When the rebels needed to bring down the military compound in Two. He was their man. He conveniently forgot his father’s death and turned the mountain into a mine that caved in on itself.

“When Coin asked for strategies to capture and kill the enemy, he developed them. He used his instincts as a hunter to trap the innocent, substituting his snares with locked gates and his arrows and nets for bombs.

“He didn’t care anymore, about who got trampled or hurt. As long as the rebels moved forward, he didn’t mind. And when we left for the Capitol, he left it all behind; the plans, the schematics, the details. A catalog of horrors just waiting to be used.”

Peeta’s pulse quickened beneath her palm, and Katniss went still, worried for a second that she might not have chosen the best place to share this information with him. They had dealt with his episodes before, but never when they were this deep into the forest.

Sensing her fear, Peeta gave her a small smile. “I’m OK,” he assured her, “I just…” He closed his eyes and dipped his chin, blocking the world outside to unravel the meaning of Katniss’s words.

A low hum like that of a wounded animal, heavy with pain and despair, rumbled deep within his chest as he slowly opened his eyes. His voice was tight with sorrow. “Coin used them, didn’t she?”

Katniss nodded. Her trembling lips pushed the words out. “In the City Circle.”

Peeta’s eyes clouded over with tears. He knew. He understood. There were no more words to be said.

In one swift motion, he let go of Katniss’s hand, wrapped his arm around her small frame, and pulled her to him.

Hungry for comfort, Katniss melted into his embrace, draping her arm over his waist and pressing her cheek to his chest to keep him close.

The echo of birds’ wings, fluttering high above, kept them company as they trembled and cried, tightly clinging to each other.

“I’m so sorry,” Peeta whispered into her hair, the words broken in his ragged voice.

Katniss pulled back with tear-streaked cheeks and wild hair. Now that her secret was exposed, and her tears had run out, she was exhausted —empty— but, for the first time in months, she wasn’t hollow.

It was as if, by setting her words free, she had allowed an empowering sense of calm to root deep within her, protecting her from the void Gale’s absence had left in her soul and filling her with a faint glimmer of hope.

“Thank you,” she said, reaching up to wipe the tears from Peeta’s face. “I don’t think I could do any of this without you.”

Peeta shook his head. “You’ve done plenty on your own, Katniss. You don’t really need me that much.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “But I do! I always have, Peeta.” Letting her hand travel up his behind neck, she reached the back of his head and buried her fingers in his hair. It was shorter than she liked, he always kept it that way in summertime, but she could still feel its silky softness as she massaged his scalp.

“When I’m with you, I always find the right path,” she whispered. “And I know that, if you had been there with me —back in Thirteen— none of this would have happened, because you would have found the words. You would have found a way to make him see what I couldn’t.”

Peeta dipped his head forward, granting her better access to play with his hair. A sad, disbelieving chuckle escaped his lips. “I don’t know what gave you that idea —what makes you think he would have listened to me— but I’m sure you’re wrong. It wouldn’t have made a difference.”

Katniss nodded. It wasn’t fair to put something like that on Peeta’s shoulders. “Maybe you’re right, you probably wouldn’t have been able to stop Gale, —he was too far gone— but I know you would have been able to change a few things, to make them better.” Tugging on his hair, she made him look up. Staring straight into his eyes, she said, “You don’t know the effect you can have, Peeta Mellark. When youtalk, the world stops to listen.”

A deep blush crept up Peeta’s cheeks at her words. His eyes twinkled. “I never wanted to talk to the world, Katniss. I just wanted to talk to you.”

She smiled, basking in the warmth of his words. “Well, I’m listening.”

In a slow, careful motion, Peeta’s hand traveled up Katniss’s back until it reached her braid. Tender fingers wrapped around the silky rope and slid down to the end where he gave it a playful tug. “So… Got anything good in that bag of yours?”

With a light, musical laugh, Katniss disentangled herself from him. “I do, actually.” Leaning forward, she grabbed her hunting bag by the strap and hoisted it onto the ledge.

They spent the next hour sitting there, talking about their plans for the following days as they sipped cold mint tea from Katniss’s thermos and shared the food she had brought.

He heart was so relieved after sharing her burden that she even let him have one of the cheese buns she had greedily kept to herself the previous night.

As they made their way back to the Village, their fingers laced together, their stomachs full, Katniss couldn’t help but think that maybe —just maybe— she had finally found a way to step away from the heartbreak she felt whenever Gale slipped into her mind.

That insistent little voice that talked to her whenever Peeta was around told her she was ready to move past the anger, and focus on the light.

XXXXX

Have a post mockingjay snippet idea? Let me know, I might turn it into a snapshot.

#things I write #camp nano july 2019 #growing back together snapshots #snapshot 8 #post mockingjay

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