#the stuff with misato especially

[himedanshicult]

me and my gf actually reached the 25th episode of NGE and uhhhh hoo boy i didn't expect it to hit so close to home

[kafus]

forgive me in advance i only just watched NGE so my analysis of it is not that in depth and also i have very little prior exposure to its fandom or any other analysis of it so this is messy. but

i'm going to be honest i have peeked a little into the fan culture surrounding NGE and i guess i shouldn't be surprised considering the fanservice-y type stuff (especially in the rebuild movies, i adore them but that's one of the only things i was like. do we really need this many ass shots guys. not a big deal tho idc) but i was surprised anyway by the apparent longstanding history of shipping wars and also just... the way the female characters are treated by the fanbase. like i looked up misato on the tenor gif search to send a gif on discord and was frustrated by all of them being sexual/having sexual comments written on them or just her being a cutesy alcoholic type woman???

NGE has an extremely interesting portrayal of human sexuality and that is a running theme, especially in the original anime and EoE tbh, but like not in a way that makes me invested in shipping. you know me, i am a shipper at heart, i LOVE shipping. and yet i never got into shipping any of the characters. i also think shinji being implied to be with mari at the end of the movies makes a lot of sense. it's not because it'd be straight, i am fully capable of shipping straight couples, but i just find evaluating that theme of sexuality so much more interesting removed from the idea of shipping. (if anything, the only thing i even remotely shipped was misato x ritsuko, and like... i'm not that serious about it)

and simplifying the female characters and especially misato down to objects of affection instead of the incredibly interesting things they represent and who they are as whole people is so wild to me. like forgive me for being on my soapbox, misato is my favorite character i have to, but like. i love misato for being a complex and nuanced adult character with flaws. i love the ways she is mature even past her own age but also immature like a child and how those things coexist. i love how she represents hope in the most bleak of situations because she is always the one going for strategies to win and survive even if the success rate is barely above zero. i love how much of a badass she is when commanding NERV (and WILLE) and the list goes on. so why does she appear to be so often reduced down to jokes about beer and needing her to step on people or something. i assume rei and asuka receive similar treatment seeing how often they are reduced to a petty shipping war IRT shinji

idk NGE is a beautiful work of art that has so much to say and i can't imagine engaging with it in these ways. i know plenty of people are not like this and there's also so much wonderful analysis and sentiment for this series for the past few decades that i still need to sink my teeth into at some point. but damn some of these bitches in the fandom annoying i guess

[i-was-a-teenage-eldritch-horror]

Hi! So I'm rewatching Evangelion and just discovered this section of the fandom (including some of the other accounts you've mentioned in the past). I'm reading through a lot of critiques of Shinji (that I agree with) and gender in the show, but I'm sort of confused on what you think the show critiques and what y'all think the show is bad at? Like, if you talk about how Shinji acts towards Asuka in EoE, is that to a detriment of the film and you feel like it wasn't resolved?

Wrt gender, the show extensively critiques Shinji's misogyny, especially in end of eva. However, this can sometimes be difficult to spot for the first time viewer (especially if they're coming off of less complex media) because so much of the show is from Shinji's POV, and of course he justifies this to himself!

I'll go on record stating that I think end of eva is basically a perfect film, I wouldn't change a thing about it. You can argue it both ways wrt if Shinji's treatment of Asuka is resolved or not. I think the film would lose a lot if the most disturbing scenes (hospital scene, hell kitchen scene, and the beach scene) were removed. They're not detrimental, they're integral. Because the thing is, the show had been building up to these scenes showing us how Shinji objectified Asuka. Just go and rewatch episode 8 and 9, it's there from the start. But even before that, Shinji is making wackass misogynistic comments to Misato from episode 1. Is Shinji's treatment of Asuka resolved? Kind of? I'm erring on the side of no, because the last thing he does is collapse onto Asuka and start crying. But also I don't think that makes the ending of the film bad.

The main thing about asking if eva treats the women and girls in a misogynistic way is that, well, is this misogynistic writing or is it just writing that's true to life? I grew up in a home where my mom's life was habitually in peril, I'm no stranger to this stuff.

Asuka is repeatedly beaten down by the narrative -- the narrative allows Rei to get even with Shinji in a way that it refuses to Asuka. I wrote a post about this some time ago that you may have read. Even though Rei's situation is objectively worse than Asuka's the narrative respects her and uplifts her more.

Then there's Misato, who is complex yet also kind of sloppily written. But "complex" and "sloppy" in some ways are basically synonyms. What do I mean by this? Misato has the Electra Complex thing going on with her dad and Kaji. And then you also have her assault and weirdly seductive relationship with Shinji. So, you have two major, major flaws in her character. Then add the fact that Misato is at once attracted to her dad and becoming her dad. THEN add the thing with Shinji into the mix and things get super weird and messy. Because one thing eva excels at is that you can analyze characters through other characters (I have a post about this in the works), so it's like...was Misato's dad predatory towards her? Her seductive relationship with Shinji would suggest that. But the key word is "suggest" -- there's nothing outright in the show that states this. But there also doesn't have to be? It's A Lot, and there are lots of things in the show that are never explicitly stated yet are obvious.

Personally, I have analyzed the show's writing choices before in a sense of human beings sat down and decided to write these events into the show. That's necessary and valid, but looking at eva in-universe, I'm more inclined to interpret these events and traits as simply being true to life.

As far as more surface level critiques, the way the women and girls are drawn at times is just so yucky and objectifying that it really gets in the way of the show's attempts to develop these characters. Much of the nudity is unnecessary -- Utena tells a similar story focusing on abuse with only a fraction of it. However, I also really think people should quit huffing Utena and Ikuhara's farts. Utena also suffers from patriarchal entrapment, there's a good essay on ohtori.nu about it.

Does this make sense? It's ok if not. But I hope it does!

[karizard-ao3]

Okay!!! Why do you think Shinji decided to grow his hair out and how do you think people reacted to seeing it growing? Do you think he managed to tie it right the first time?

I really feel like he did it because he admires Kaji and because he sees how popular Kaji is with the ladies (Asuka especially???) so he wants to emulate him.

I feel like Misato is worried when he stops getting hair cuts, like he's trying to rebel and she doesn't know if she did something wrong as a guardian.

Asuka makes fun of him for looking sloppy but she also likes to give him pigtails when they're at home and try to braid his hair even though it's not quite long enough yet.

Rei is very much like, "If Shinji wants to have long hair then Shinji should have long hair. I will procure him some hair growth vitamins to help him."

Gendo doesn't notice.

And I do think Shinji managed to tie it right the first time. I feel like Asuka makes him help her do French braids and stuff, so he can manage a simple ponytail by that point

[radiohahas]

has anyone done any of these hxh fic crossovers

⇾ neon genesis evangelion x hxh

gon as shinji, combine a bunch of eva pilots for killua, bisky as misato, etc? obvs could keep gon's sunnier disposition but the abandonment trauma and general spiraling would basically stay the same (T.T)

⇾ banana fish x hxh

i think this one writes itself ... killua as ash, gon as eiji, probably ikalgo as shorter, kurapika and leorio as the "chaperones" ... make the gay subtext just text ofc ... but like yknow without all the [spoilers that i will not list - especially the end one], maybe change up some canon bf trauma stuff for killua (or not). the zoldycks could be swapped for dino, blah blah blah

--

i think i had one more floating around in my head but cannot recall. anyway, obvs these would be killugon. do you see my vision?

i do not have it in me to write either of these atm if they don't already exist (way too tired. have got other fics waiting patiently on the wings, etc. though, who knows the future, maybe one day i could get around to it) but i thought i'd just share bc they're fun to consider

[clambuoyance]

Do u want to talk abt ur ocs..... I actually followed you initially bc they seemed so interesting and silly and I want to know more if you feel like sharing :)

I still can’t believe some ppl follow me for my ocs bc it’s usually for my fanart so this is really nice to hear! I have a couple stories/universes but the main one I’ve been…developing (it’s on and off) since I was like 13/14 is about these two kids named Keiko and Rolin!! Im still doing a lot of world and lore building but the main gist is that Rolin is a teenage boy turning 16 who returns to his hometown to live with his aunt and meets a strange young girl named Keiko (debating on making her 10-12 idk she was originally 10). I won’t go too much into like Lore stuff but she has like..my own version of clairvoyance. They are kind of opposites, with Rolin being introverted and jaded, and Keiko being loud and optimistic but they are both silly.

I think it’s been said before but the whole driving relationship of the story is the two of them going on adventures throughout the city and solving mysteries while simultaneously becoming family and finding a real home within each other and the people they’ve met and learned to love 😚

Now the story is centered around Rolin and Keiko, but a big focus is on the cast of characters that fill mostly Rolins life. Mira and Artie were friends with Rolin when they were kids before Rolin left with his mom, and all three grew up and have been living their own lives, but when Rolin comes back they get a chance to reconnect (with Keiko’s help). Valoryn (Val) is also new in town, and befriends Rolin and Keiko. This is just a messy fast doodle of them I have better art in my oc tags🙏

Some old sketches

The other major cast is Rolin’s family, and Rolin has always been Asian so as I worked on the story his family kept getting more and more relevant especially with a major theme of the story being about the connections you have with people in your life so like I can’t leave them out. And I’ve never settled on an Asian ethnicity until recently where I was like I might as well make him Filipino so I can base his family off my own🫡 Cousins (both blood and not) that are years older than you but treat you like siblings and give u silly nicknames 🫶

Now Diana (or Deedee) is one of those characters I’ve had for a long time, and I made her because I liked those laidback mentor figures in anime (like Qrow from rwby) and wanted a laidback lady one 🤷🏻‍♀️ she also has some Misato from nge influence. She has always been written to be a mentor figure to Rolin and Keiko, and at one point I think I was going to make her his actual aunt but stuck to her being just a cousin so I could write about her relationship with her mom 🫶 Unlike her brother Darius, she does not live with her mom and Rolin has to go out of his way to meet her.

And Rolin’s parents’ story aren’t the main focus (they aren’t really present themselves in the main story) and it’s mostly just flashback stuff but they r silly and sad and I love drawing them 😼

I could go into more detail but that’s an overview of some of the characters

[seeds-of-life-daily]

how far does your seele rei au diverge from canon :0 if I may ask

Thank you so much for asking this !! Well, I gave it some thought, and I wouldn't say it would stray too far from canon, but some big changes would be made. One of which being, well, the main thing. That Rei gets raised by seele. I covered some of the changes it would make to Rei and Kaworu in this post I made a bit ago, but after giving it a bit more thought, I wanted to note down a few more changes I would make to canon in this AU. One of which, probably the biggest divergence in this au, is that Rei doesn't get forced/conditioned to take such a maternal and feminine role. Other than the usual maternity stuff that comes with having the soul of a progenitor, she wouldn't have to experience it with the intensity they do in canon. They also won't get sexualized, since that was another thing that I really disliked in Evangelion. Not to go off on a little tangent here, but when talking about canon, I really think Rei never really wanted to take on that kind of role. The femininity was something they were made to feel like she had to do. She was taught it meant to serve, to be complacent, to fill a role, and to mother. Whenever I think of Rei and femininity my mind always goes to that one Aradia gender meta, since the parallels between the two are insane, and it just voices basically most of my thoughts. In the seele!Rei AU I like to think that Rei's more self-expressive. Being reserved, but a helping hand because she wants to. I think they would also take part in their interest to learn more. We don't know too much about seele, but since we know they probably let Kaworu have access to music and human culture, I think Rei would also have the opportunity to indulge in more books, the internet, and so on. Also, since Rei isn't a clone of Yui here, she won't be subjected to Shinji's Freudy antics as much. She would still somewhat look simmilar to Yui, but this time not made from salvaged remains. Now, another thing I would change is letting Kaworu develop more as a character. In most adaptations of Evangelion, we only see him mainly interacting with Shinji. In this AU, he will not only have Rei as a sibling, but I plan to make him interact with Asuka and Misato too. I think a talk between Kaworu and Misato would be really interesting. Especially when she finds out he's an angel. Imagine meeting the kid that got created, and half of the population, including your dad, died because of that. An interaction with Asuka would be similar. Imagine meeting the guy who's here to replace you if you get worse at piloting. They would eventually get along, but at the start, I can definitely see some conflicts going on there. Since Rei's with seele here, they have both seeds of life in their custody, so it would be even easier for their instrumentality plans. While it's true that Lilith's still in the NERV basement, and Adam's still getting kidnapped (angel-napped?), seele can at least be sure that if one of them dies, at least there's another vessel to work with. (Speaking of which, what would happen if two instrumentalities happened at once? Maybe seele didn't think that Adam, in her embryonic state, could be enough to initiate one? Maybe they were too focused on the Dead Sea Scrolls that they never bothered to think of it?) While we're on the topic of instrumentality, they would totally try and rebel against it this time. After spending a good amount of time at NERV with the rest of the Pilots, I think they would attempt to go against the whole "everyone becomes one in the big primordial soup ocean" plan. Those are just the major changes I would make, but overall? Yeah, it would be canon-divergent, but it would still follow most of the happenings of canon.

[dedederedeconstructivist]

How would a female shinji affect the plot?

Weirder Gendo. By like, a mile.

Male Rei for balance (am I shitposting? Only semi...)

A completely different set of social norms around the expectations of women and men radically alters almost every dynamic around Shinji and the (now other) women in her life, especially if she still feels sexual desire. Female Shinji becomes an original-flavour lesbian incel if she's in lesbian mode and that's a whole other kettle of fish from his male pseudo-incel vibe. Probably she's not out and it becomes a whole Problem.

Potentially a different relationship with Misato, but I'm of the opinion that Misato was probably genuinely inappropriate with Asuka in the Onsen Scene so maybe not that different - Problematic Bisexual (sort of, not really, but also really, it depends) Misato is Best Misato, etc.

Kaworu ends up a complete fizzle because he's the wrong kind of softboi 'you're so valid babe' for FemShinji, which means Shinji doesn't shatter into a million pieces, instrumentality doesn't happen, and probably everyone dies in some other insane way, like a genderswapped Anima situation.

Kaji probably pays minimal attention to her because despite his sleaze persona his interest there is in an ersatz son he can see himself in; its possible that a FemShinji who shares BoyShinji's general Vibe might still work for him as a daughter but I think we need to acknowledge that Kaji's got some misogyny that interacts with how he retreats from Asuka's behavioural problems.

Asuka-Shinji stuff takes a whole turn early, with either even more toxicity or a surprising degree of solidarity over the period issue.

There's other ways but this is all I can do at a late hour while exhausted.

[sepyana]

Noir 2001 Ep. 1-10 Thoughts

I really love her France Shirt dhshbd

I figured stopping at Chloe's introduction would be the best idea. From what I know this should be when the main plot picks up.

First, the bad:

The first episode was really jarring to watch. The cuts were awkward, the music was too loud at parts and certain scenes dragged out for too long. Maybe this is just me, but I didn't realize the music was coming from the watch until the end of the episode, which made things really confusing.

From then onwards isn't like this. Maybe I just got used to it, but the cuts didn't feel jarring and the flow between scenes was smooth enough.

There is a lot of reused animation, which is fine for the most part. It's not as elegant about it as shows like Utena but it's not a big deal.

What annoys me is sometimes the plot will screech to a halt to show you a flashback you have already seen before. Personally, I'm fine if a conversation is just one still frame or made of reused animation. The flashbacks and the occasional training is clearly there for budget reasons and nothing else. That's why it takes me out of the story sometimes.

Kirika and Mireille don't have much going on. They are pretty bland which makes it hard to care for them. The "I will kill you when this is over." thing is the most interesting bit. There is still plenty of time to develop them so I'm not that bothered about it.

The show feels rather empty at times, if that's the word. It feels like nothing is happening. For example: the information we get about the main mystery is not enough to make any conclusions or draw connections, so whenever a new development happens I can only think "Oh, we learned this now". We don't learn anything about what our protagonists are like either. The quiet moments are great for that, but I still feel like I know nothing about them.

I don't mind the censorship but it can be really funny sometimes. Kirika will get hit but her arm will look completely fine, making it impossible to tell how bad she was hurt until she reacts.

When I started episode 7 I genuinely though I skipped an episode. They don't make it even slightly obvious that a time skip happened.

This one is really stupid: I can't seperate Mireille from Misato in my mind. I'm sure Noir fans are annoyed by the comparison by this point but I'm really trying guys (ﾉД`)

Okay,, we can get to the good stuff now:

The atmosphere is great. The backgeound art is lovely and complements the animation well. They definitely achieved the aesthetic they were going for.

The soundtrack is pretty nice. Again, adds to the atmosphere.

Kirika especially can be super clever, making the fights fun to watch (only about 50% of the time though)

The composition of the shots draw your eye to the focus well. It's a good way to make shots interesting with a small budget.

It's fantastically homosexual, while also not being about romance at all. All the notable characters are women. That might add to the yuri vibes I guess.

I liked Silvana. She is one of the few side characters that have anything going on. Her relationship to Mireille is intriguing to me, they have met only once. But it's clear their one interaction has left a big inpression on not only Mireille but also her, especially since they were kids at the time. Her pulling out a knife and cutting the crown off of Mireille when she says she is scared tells us everything we need to know about her.

There is also something to be said about the crowns. Mireille's innocence being destroyed by Silvana. It's important to Silvana that she has control, removing the crown she gave to Mireille is a way for her to feel superior, I guess. Even at a small age.

Mireille is still scared in their final confrontation, but she fights anyway.

I am very interested in Chloe because clearly, the two maidens who govern death are suppose to be Kirika and Mireille. However, she is insist she is Noir. I imagine things will go south when she realises that's not the case. (I doubt it's the case). The woman we see is most likely using her and Chloe is dependent on her validation. That's what I am guessing.

[nanimonai05]

GTO Review

Great Teacher Onizuka is a beloved and iconic series and in this post I'll talk about both the things I absolutely adored about it and my frustrations.

So, right off the bat I'm gonna mention that I don't often laugh hysterically while watching anime (or anything really) but somehow GTO managed to have a buncha moments so ridiculous that my only possible reaction was pretty much set in stone...

The humour and character writing are both plain genius!! I could never for the life of me predict what Onizuka's next move would be. His recklessness and luck, as well as his gullible and kind nature added a lot to his complexity as a character.

In the artistic department, we got the banger openings and EDs, the on-point animation and variation in facial expressions. In terms of voice acting, every VA fit well and every character's lines were delivered perfectly, tho my personal faves were undeniably Urumi and Miyabi. Kotono Mitsuishi's vocal range and her accurate French pronunciation were a pleasant surprise but I also liked the bite and seriousness Miyabi's voice had, while it was also laced with uncertainty and her screams in that parking lot were simply harrowing ngl, I was 🤏 this close to crying during that scene.

And now, about my frustrations that gave me mixed feelings on the series despite how much I enjoyed every episode, except for the Yoshikawa/Anko part in those last few episodes during the Okinawa arc. It was just unpleasant to watch, honestly. I think Yoshikawa's random personality change and his attitude towards Anko felt out of place, even though it can be ruled out as his pure kindness.

And either way, Giving Mukai and Yoshikawa romantic interests in order to call them "men" as if it's manly to...chase after a girl that's come to terms with the fact that you don't like her and save the one who's made your life living hell from certain death, respectively, just to ditch the subplots altogether and create loose ends kinda sucked tbh. It made me anticipate a lot of stuff that just didn't happen. GTO being a comedy manga (mostly) doesn't really excuse that, as some other series managed pull off some sorta closure to their subplots. My main example is Danshi Koukousei no Nichijou. Unlike with Mukai and Kujirakawa, who only get 1 singular episode together and their relationship never ever sees the light of day, "Literary girl" becomes a running gag in Danshi Koukousei.

Admittedly, I wanted and expected Fuyumi and Onizuka to get together because they're 2 consenting adults which at least kinda have chemistry but I'm convinced that Tooru Fujisawa either:

intended Onizuka to have commitment issues and despite him dealing with other people's problems he never gets his resolved, presumably because he keeps running away from them

struggles to write romantic relationships or doesn't know how to.

Onizuka's struggle to commit to romantic relationships (which is evident in both his relationship with Misato and the one with Fuyutsuki) never gets any closure, from what I've gathered.

The sexism was another thing that occasionally bothered me. While at times the perverted jokes were genuinely well-timed and maybe even funny, other times they felt very awkward, out of place, uncomfortable,, well you get it.

Some things aged poorly, simply put.

especially the ganguro stuff

On another note, the anime's ending kinda left me with a mild sour aftertaste. It felt like an Onizuka thing to do, but at the same time...how and why. Like FYM he's teaching in America now. Dude can't even speak English properly.

It also felt like the ending didn't allow for anything afterwards even tho the manga continues and ngl I'm personally not willing to read it becuz of the ending, Urumi and a few more things that didn't really get resolved.

Either way! It was overall a really fun watch, it gets a 7.8/10 from me

Toodles

[corpsepartyforbiddenrebirth]

helloooo how are you?? :D

i wanted to ask you if you have any "headcanons" (they're technically not headcanons i think but i wouldn't know how to call them) of the forbidden rebirth cast meeting the kisaragi students! either before or during heavenly host :3c

I'VE GOT A TON TO SAY ABOUT THIS SO I WENT AHEAD AND PUT IT UNDER A READMORE!!!

This is something I think about A LOT, especially due to how many references there are to the lore of the Misato students even within the canon game itself?? Like especially compared to some of the other schools! Some of them are easy to miss though so I first wanna talk about the ones that are canonically in the game before getting into my own headcanons!!

Yoshiyuki Shinohara is actually a voiced 'character' in Chapter 1, where he acts as the spirit who informs Naomi and Seiko about Heavenly Host! You can view the scene with voiced lines here if you're interested - he also appears in the manga as a spirit!

Additionally in Chapter 1, Shin Aichi is the one who tells you not to read the newspaper when you enter Classroom 3-A~ She also has a single voiced line, though it's just her crying rather than actually saying anything!

There isn't anything related to the Misato students in Chapter 2, but Chapter 3 is full of all kinds of stuff! First off, the obvious: you meet Kokuhaku here for the first time! Including both the manga and the games, Satoshi, Yuka and Morishige have all met Kokuhaku~ I always loved Yuka's sort of sweet little interaction with her in the manga too. To this day I'm so grateful she was even included 😭

Also in Chapter 3 are the Victim's Memoirs written by Kain Hagiwara! You can read the transcript for them here~ These memoirs can be read as both Satoshi and Kizami, but only Satoshi can read the final entry. Interestingly, these memoirs work differently from the other two as well - while the other memoirs place the reader into the writer's shoes, such as Yoshiki cannibalizing Ayumi just as the writer Nao Takahashi did to Emi Kudou, these victim's memoirs instead place you in the shoes of the subject! Kain spent much of her time writing about Mitsuharu Ohtaki, until she eventually passed after having her Achilles tendon severed. Mitsuharu's fate is never canonically elaborated on, but it is confirmed that he succumbed to the darkening. For the wrong end, Satoshi himself succumbs to the darkening in the same way Mitsuharu did... I get goosebumps thinking about it 🙌

In Chapter 4, Ayumi finds the body of Yuma Misaki, along with a paper next to her talking about her last moments, as well as mentioning the fact that Tomoe Mizuki entered the forest outside the school and never returned. This makes Tomoe the only character in the nametag list to have their death listed as unconfirmed!

And though Chapter 5 is somewhat lacking in Misato content, only finding Kokuhaku's nametag stuck to a plaster bust and Ken Fujii's nametag in the bomb shelter, there is actually an unused Kokuhaku sprite I dug up 9 years ago that's still in the files, even in the 2021 rerelease! I brought it up here with the blog memoriesoffear back then, and though there isn't any additional information behind it still, it almost makes it more fun to speculate. Could she have potentially been another of Kizami's victims? If she was, why was that scrapped? Out of all the corpse sprites in the game, this is one of the only ones where it's very clearly drawn to be a specific character - even Mitsuki and Tohko reuse the same corpse sprite, and they're minor characters themselves! There's so many questions~ I always wonder how it could tie in to her meeting the Kisaragi students...

Now in terms of Forbidden Rebirth, the Kisaragis themselves DO make a brief appearance! Although they don't directly interact with any of the Misato students themselves, they heavily impact the direction of the story in one of the final chapters. I wish I could say more, but this scene is pretty deep into the game and I totally want to keep it a surprise 🤫

And finally, in terms of my imagination... I have many ideas 😎

I can definitely see Ayumi getting along well with Tomoe and Yuma. She shares those same occult interests that Tomoe has, and a lot of her viewpoints on the world align heavily with Yuma's too! Her way of taking on everything by herself is a lot like the way Yuma handles her stressors as well. I think they'd be great friends 🙌

Naomi would definitely get along well with Kain. Their tomboyish sort of attitudes combined with how they both start to flounder when they're left on their own for too long would totally make them connect instantly! Naomi has got to teach Kain how to cook sometime...

Seiko, Tomoe and Akihiko together has potential to be the craziest combination ever. They're sort of the trio of energetic characters that cause all kinds of crazy scenarios around school. Tomoe also shares Seiko's love of child care! I also think Seiko and Yuma doing each other's hair is an incredible idea 😎

I think Mayu would get along PERFECTLY with both Himawari and Maki! Her 'school idol' sort of status would completely draw Maki in, and I can totally see them bonding over their love of reptiles once Mayu gets to meet Maki's pet iguana. Her and Hima share the same sort of "little devil" aspect too - like the scene in the Book of Shadows manga where Mayu pushes Yoshiki into Ayumi, that's totally something I could see Hima doing too!

Shin always enjoys situations where she gets to be the big sister, so I can see her having a lot of fun with Yuka~ She tends to see her little sister Kazuko in other young children she meets, and I just know she'd spoil Yuka like crazy and buy her anything she wanted 😭

I can see Satoshi and Ken getting along well - Satoshi is the sort of mild-mannered type that Ken respects a lot, and they're both very forgiving and understanding people who can step up and be a leader when it comes to their loved ones. They both sort of fit into the 'protagonist' trope very well!

I can't say for certain how they'd interact, but I definitely have Yoshiki, Mitsuharu and Yoshiyuki in their own little trio of "misunderstood delinquent" type characters. Yoshiyuki also works part-time and I just think it'd be so funny to put them on the same shift together. Though Mitsuharu much prefers to be a lone wolf, I think they'd totally bond over their music taste. Either that or he'd fight him to the death. I don't know which one's better.

Morishige and Hatto are both... people who are difficult to get along with. They're both easily susceptible to the darkening, and both have a grandparent they heavily relied on, Morishige's being his grandfather and Hatto's being his grandmother. I don't think they'd be friends, but the idea of them getting into a debate is hilarious to me. I want to see them interact.

Yui and Shinju Hagiwara share the same love of teaching and alcohol, and I just genuinely love the idea of them bonding over drinks honestly. I also think Kokuhaku would get along well with Yui - it's difficult for her to find people she can confide in, especially when it comes to teachers, but Yui just has that warm aura that would make her comfortable enough to ask for help.

OKAY... I'm stopping myself there before this post gets even longer than it already is!! This was so nice to think about though - I love all the students from Corpse Party and I still imagine in my mind what could have been if the Misatos had gotten to meet everyone in 2U... Only in my dreams... 😭😭

[duhragonball]

Neon Genesis Evangelion 11

Most of this episode is just characters restating the problem over and over.

Basically, Tokyo-3 experiences a power outage. The NERV base is also affected, which results in Misato and Kaji getting trapped in an elevator the whole time.

What makes this especially irritating is that the story keeps teasing interesting plot developments only to abandon them immediately. For example, the episode opens with Ritsuko and other NERV staffers discussing the three Magi supercomputers that run Tokyo-3's government. So maybe the blackout is tied in with the Magi? No, it's not. Ritsuko had planned to run tests on Eva Unit 00 today, so maybe that's what caused the blackout. No, it wasn't that.

Oooh, maybe Gendo Ikari sabotaged his own facility, as part of some weird scheme he's up to... nope, he doesn't know who did it either. He just knows it must have been a human enemy, which is ironic, since NERV is trying to save humanity from the Angels. Well, at least it'll be fun to unmask the saboteur... no, that never happens. If we ever find out who did this, it isn't in this episode.

Vice Commander Clownshoes points out how it would be disastrous if an Angel attacked at a moment like this, and that's exactly what happens. So you'd think this episode would be focused on getting the power back in time to fight the thing, but not quite.

Mostly, the focus is on Shinji, Rei, and Asuka as they attempt to enter the base without any power. Rei has emergency instructions in her purse, and Asuka declares herself the leader, and they bicker the whole way in. For some reason they crawl through ductwork, and it's kind of boring because it's not like anything will attack them on their own turf. There won't be a malfunctioning security system or anything like that, because the power's down.

As the Angel threat becomes more pressing, Gendo Ikari orders the Evas to be prepared for launch, using a diesel engine that was set up in case of emergency. We see him helping the others to set up all the stuff with pulleys instead of machines. I'm not sure how any of it works, but whatever.

So when Shinji arrives, he's surprised to find the Evas ready for use. Ritsuko tells him that his dad believed that the pilots would show up when they were needed, and so they did. Nice.

So when they're finally ready to deploy, the Evas have to ascend a vertical shaft, but the Angel is waiting above them, secreting a corrosive solvent down onto them.

They only have a few minutes of battery power to work with, so Asuka finally proves her worth and comes up with a plan. She takes her Unit 02 up into the shaft to defend the others. Rei goes down to retrieve the weapons they dropped earlier. Then she'll hand off the weapon to Shinji, who will open fire on the Angel. Asuka takes the defense job because it's more dangerous and she wants to repay Shinji for helping her out of that volcano in the last episode.

And it works! Another Angel bites the dust. I think this is the eighth one? It's enough of them that I've lost count.

With that settled, the kids chillax outside while they wait for the grownups to restore power to the city. Rei waxes philosophical about how humans fear the darkness, so they scrape away at its edges with fire. Whatever you say, kid.

[noraqrosa]

whenever i watch Neon Genesis Evangelion i alternate between relating most to Shinji, Misato, and Asuka (especially Misato in the last few years)

my life truly is a whole-ass mess, but 2021-2022 i went back and forth between making strides & improvements and wanting to just throw it all away on stupid, potentially irreparably life-ruining decisions. and, like Misato, i took a lot of refuge with the latter in exploring myself as a sexual person more than i ever had before, but overdoing it to the point where it was ruining my mental health. i was making decisions that led to me wanting to just completely degrade and debase myself, but like not in a fun way, in a dangerous way.

in a lot of ways, it was an extreme reaction to having grown up constantly trying to be a #GoodBoy, appeasing others to a nigh obsequious degree, trying to follow rules to the letter despite my incredible disdain for authority, constantly trying to make myself look like a model child while inside my brain was resisting all the way and rejecting all forms of conformity in sheer defiance and rebellion. i stopped wanting to be "good" because i stopped feeling any real semblance of good. i wanted to hit rock bottom as a person, wanting nothing more than to be used, abused, and left in (essentially) a state of dependency and no agency. i wanted to be seen as a "d*g*n*rate" freak who only cares about pleasure and ignores my own pain. i wanted nothing more than to be an object and nothing else.

this scene is always one of the from Eva scenes that guts me the most (don't watch if you don't want to be upset by media at the moment):

last time i rewatched NGE i straight up broke down crying at this part. it legit broke me because it was hitting at something i really didn't want to acknowledge in myself. and often still don't.

i've been trying very hard to work on myself over the past year, but it's hard when i'm homeless, mentally ill, and prone to actual literal psychotic episodes. i feel like it's always one step forward, ten steps back, and all that does is hurt myself and my loved ones. i need a space where i can really do all the necessary shadow work (so to speak) to get better, but i don't even know if i can trust myself to successfully do that even in a perfectly safe, cozy situation.

i don't hate myself. i used to, but i've finally come around to loving myself. i just hate the things i do and my worst habits that i have had the most trouble breaking. i don't have those self-destructively wild fantasies and pretensions of debasement (as much) anymore, partially because i have a partner with whom i've been able to work through that stuff in a far healthier way. but i am still very self-destructive and self-deprecating despite my best efforts. heck, i make inappropriate, self-deprecating jokes about my worst habits too much and all it does is piss people off.

i need to get better. i need to get better. i need to get better. i have no choice, and i don't want to be this way.

(oh yeah and being plural complicates this shit even further lol)

[skrunksthatwunk]

just finished nana!!! and. well. spoiler thoughts below the cut ig. ft me rambling for a looooong time

so when my friend introduced me to nana like three years ago she said the ending sucked but didn't really elaborate. knowing her, that could mean anything from "nanahachi wasn't canon" to "it's written badly" and anything inbetween, so i wasn't sure what to expect. anyway i think i understand why she felt that way now bc it's kind of a... non-ending? i wouldn't say it's bad, they just like. don't conclude most of the plot threads they'd been running with for the last 6-12 episodes. which is one way to deal with an indefinite manga hiatus ig.

i think the implication is that nana went off to do her solo career like yasu hoped, and that's why they don't see her? but like. are she and ren married? is she even still doing music? what's gonna happen with shin and reira? what's shin's family situation (in more detail)? what's misato's family situation anyway?? she's using a fake name we can't just ignore that??? we just don't get any answers to how most of these things go. im curious to know where exactly the manga leaves off and where the anime's story takes over. i wasn't sure until now, but my hunch is that the final episode (or maybe final two) are the only anime-original ones. it also seems like nightmare scenario #1 (hachi marries and stays married to takumi) came true unfortunately. (if anyone's curious nightmare #2 was her getting back with shoji. no he's not as bad as takumi but she can and should do better than his emotionally stunted nice guy ass). im honestly glad that we get to see nobu and hachi can like,, be around each other after however many years, and that takumi wasn't around for the festival. i think having to see them as a "happy" family would piss me off. im not forgiving him for his weird manipulative bullshit or him yelling at and insulting hachi etc etc he is disgusting!! and i hate him. he's weird and abusive and he should chew glass. that's all

i also dunno how to feel about some of those final threads anyway, finished or not. yasu being in love with nana was hinted at, but i kind of liked their dynamic staying platonic. yasu's defined by his devotion and dependability—nana doesn't really get special treatment in that, i don't think, so he doesn't need a reason like that to explain his behavior. and they didn't really do much with it anyway. it kind of seemed like they were teasing yasu and nana getting together near the end? like nana actually starting to reciprocate rather than just hachi suspecting stuff or even yasu pining. but the marriage proposal, and then just.. gah the story just ending like that really leaves everything on nana's end (the end we spent most of the last arc with) blank.

idk. i think satsuki's cute. the idea of hachi naming her kid sachiko was so funny to me like ??? no way. reclaiming it from the demon lord lol. any story where someone gets pregnant and has a kid that young kinda freaks me out tbh, but im glad they both seem happy. i really wish the reunion between the nanas for the first fireworks show was more impactful. they focused on hachi and nobu the whole time, even though the nanas haven't seen each other in actual months and also like 15 episodes?? and were desperate to see each other that whole time like that's so disappointing that it got shunted over for hachi/nobu resolution that didn't get the time to go anywhere. and i LIKE hachi and nobu as a pairing and as a point of dramatic focus i just think the nana show should end with the nanas especially since they were building it up for so long. but maybe they didn't wanna go against yazawa's vision or whatever and just avoided it entirely. blegh.

WARNING SELF INDULGENCE AHEAD idk if it'd be a narratively satisfying ending so feel free to roll your eyes at it, but my ideal sappy ending to this is nanahachi is real, takumi gets his ass DIVORCED, and nana buys hachi her house and supports her. it wouldn't be perfect, bc there'd still be that rock star schedule to contend with, but hachi wouldn't have to marry someone who treats her badly and who it doesn't really feel like she loves imo just to keep her baby and nana wouldn't have to feel like she needs to get hachi into a relationship with one of her friends to keep her around (which was an INSANE plot development and i love it tbh. like oh so she's a little freak huh). i think this ideally would happen over the course of a few years, so that the takumi divorce and ren and nana's breakup (i mean they're both unhappy with their relationship. marriage isn't gonna magically fix that) have time to happen and like. maybe nana'll be able to slide in as a step-parent after she's had some time with her career. agh i dunno maybe that's wrong. i don't think she's ready or willing to become a parent yet either, not only bc her job is super demanding but bc she wouldn't wanna be a parent without being able to devote a lot of time and attention to that kid (she'd take the responsibility very seriously and not wanna screw it up). would leaving everything to hachi really work for her? would she be able to accept it so long as satsuki has at least one parent who can dote on her? i honestly don't know. again, maybe when they're both older, and nana's fame dies down, they reconnect or smth. middle aged yuri. that way satsuki's gonna be a little less dependent on them both, and nana's role as stepmother wouldn't be quite so fraught for either. regardless i do think the ideal ending is hachi getting the support she needs to live without takumi (if not on her own), whether she remains a housewife like she wanted or goes to work (they were putting so much emphasis on her cooking skills—can you imagine her with a cute bakery or cafe or something? she'd go nuts!! so that's my ideal, though she'd probably wait until satsuki was in school). hm. maybe nana supporting her until she can stand on her own two feet? so it doesn't feel quite so much like she's keeping her as a pet. hachi needs some responsibility to grow (and she has, to some extent) but i don't think that should have to necessitate her marrying an abusive rich guy. she doesn't need that to be happy when she has other willing benefactors. and nana doesn't need to hold onto her that tightly—some sustained distance could help with her possessiveness/abandonment stuff, which she needs. and they were talking about finding hachi a job she can enjoy and be good at, and how much hachi likes customer service—i think having her own restaurant could be really good for her. maybe nana's an investor or something. idk. point is they should (in my ideal scenario) be able to grow as people AND realize their dreams (or a slightly modified form of them) without needing to give anything crucial up (nana giving up her career and hachi giving up on romantic fulfillment, respectively). and preferably they should have hot sloppy gay sex at some point in there too bc i think they want it. and also for my sake

i don't normally do the whole "how i'd end this series" thing (much less change it to make it happier bc i do think upsetting stories are valuable and engaging) but with nana it feels a little more right bc again it's so.. unfinished. it's hard to tell whether it'd go for a "the reality of your dreams is always going to be bitter" tragic ending or if it'd pivot with time into something happier. i just don't know. for yuri purposes im gonna daydream about the happy ending but let it be known i do think nanahachi unfulfillment and remembrance as a sort of "if i had known how i felt back then we could have had something and/or i'll wait for you forever" (which. ig we kinda got the latter) is a juicy ending (and also more what i expected from the show).

aghh i just didn't think they'd spend so much time apart onscreen and then it just ends with them like that. it's such a weird thing narratively like they are THE two core characters THE core relationship and the last time we see them speak (and the first time in a dozen episodes and like two in-canon months) nobu's the center of attention!!!! again i like nobu it's not like i wasn't interested but that's the last episode!!!!! that's the last episode you're holding!!!!!! bwah. i think that might be what bothers me the most. we know throughout basically the whole show that at some point they can't reach each other anymore and are stuck with the memories but god i didn't think it'd happen in such a like.. underwhelming and real way lol. just ppl genuinely drifting apart. and in a way that is still valuable but i feel like the execution is just not quite there for me, in this story. but again i JUST finished it so maybe after my thoughts percolate a bit i'll see the beauty in it. yeah 👍

what else. oh i will be real i was rooting for hachi to get an abortion for a bit there. like girl you are NOT ready you are TWENTY. i ended up liking it overall, but it's kind of bittersweet for me. i think i tend to dislike stories that view pregnancy/motherhood as a loss of innocence moment. like,, to me it kind of frames ppl who can get pregnant as children UNTIL they get pregnant—as well as children as this sort of tragic burden—and i think there's a lot of ways and reasons hachi could mature without this. and i do think her maturing is like,, perhaps THE key arc for her, but doing it like this almost feels like a copout bc we just expect (from a million stories before this) that motherhood wises you up somehow, completely rewires all your priorities and sensibilities and your whole existence towards keeping that baby alive. im sure it is that way for some people, but irt fiction it feels like characters often lose themselves in their becoming mothers. it's like them dying—they enter this kind of end stage that removes them from their old selves and makes them unreachable by other motivations. they fall asleep. and obviously we saw a lot of hachi during her pregnancy and she's not Just thinking about the baby the whole time—and her beginning to want and love and prioritize the fetus isn't like. a bad writing choice. it just feels like that sleep state's kind of where we ended up BECAUSE she stays with mr babytrapper and we don't get to see the full consequences of that choice. parenthood is often beautiful and precious i just don't like "pregnancy stories" a lot of the time for these reasons. if any of you have seen waitress i feel like that's a good example of like.. the kind of pregnancy narrative i find unsatisfying. like so much of the conflict was interesting and bittersweet and harrowing and then after all that anguish and inner turmoil she has her baby and suddenly she wants to be a mother and she can stand up to her abusive husband and follow her dreams and everything's perfect because the strength of a mother conquers all, including overriding every personal flaw and fear and opinion you once had. it just feels kind of gross and bioessentialist to me. like you have no choice but to love your kid once you have it, so you should just have it anyway, because it's in your nature. nana (the show) resisted that in its depiction of absent mothers, and i think hachi is the kind of character to get too sentimental about a fetus to abort it regardless of the consequences, the choice just made me a bit worried about the theming throughout. anyway to state my feelings more clearly i think i ended up liking the pregnancy arc it just ended up feeling kinda unfortunate bc like. hachi DID get babytrapped and then just stayed there, and we're supposed to be happy for her bc at least she had the baby?? at least it feels like we're supposed to view it as an okay thing, if not a good thing.

hachi settling for a relationship that is that shitty feels wrong to me as well. yes her expectations in the beginning are too high—of perfect earth-shattering love from a flawless prince, etc etc. but her wanting to be genuinely loved and treated well is like NOT a big ask tbh?? it's not a fantasy she needs to wake up from at all. it feels like her maturation arc concludes with "love is unattainable so settle for tepid comfort" rather than her growing into someone who can engage with a partner in a more healthy way. and again if the tone was more obviously bittersweet on that front i think it wouldn't bother me so much but that final episode really does feel like we're supposed to accept her happiness as genuine and good enough for her, this as her happy ending. like somewhere along the line it felt like they stopped viewing takumi as abusive and shitty and kind of just.. slid into treating their relationship as normal? in a way that makes me doubt my reading of it as intentionally abusive and unsatisfying in the first place. like wasn't the point going to be that this sucked for hachi? were they not on track for a divorce?? she just suffers and the story goes "yeah but it's fine" like girl get OUT of there!!!! maybe all the stuff about nonconfrontation and easy ways out was about this too, but it doesn't feel like they tied it back to her relationship with takumi in any way, so i don't know if that's a stretch or not. AGAIN. a lot of this is about it not having a proper conclusion to like 8 story threads but im just trying to reconcile something i can't know—what they WOULD have done or were trying to do and how i would feel about that. and that's something im wrestling with bc im trying to figure out the themes. like what story is nana trying to tell? that's important for analysis of it. im worried im being too childish expecting clear tragic/happy endings or whatever but knowing what a text views as upsetting or ideal is pretty important to gauging whether characters' arcs were successful or regressive or something else entirely. i feel unmoored a little in ways that don't feel in line with the story up until now and im not even sure how intentional that is. much to chew on.

do i still think hachi's a lesbian with real bad comphet? no idea. i am starting to lean more towards a bi4bi nanahachi reading bc her thing with nobu felt a lot more real than anything else she had. hachi still has crazy comphet to me though. you don't want a man you want to be seen as valuable by guys, you don't want a husband you want a wedding and a dress, etc etc. maybe the true good ending is nana/hachi/ren/nobu polycule. "im nobu and this is my gf hachi and her gf nana and her bf ren" style.

what else. uhh them getting a stereotypical queen manager was kind of funny. homophobia moment. i kind of like that shoji never completely disappeared from the story. he mostly just showed up occasionally to get dunked on and i respect that. i also don't mind the closure/end conversation he and hachi had, but it did revive my nightmare scenario #2 fears lol. i liked shin more with time. i still think yasu's great. uhh i thought it was interesting that reira and shin felt like possibly the most normal relationship in the end despite the whole shin being 15 thing (not good obviously i just kept forgetting she wasn't also a teenager? anyway reira you bastard). nana being canonically into choking was fun too. oh man we never found out what her job was did we. like early on when hachi thinks she's a dominatrix? i kinda wanna know now. also thank you hachi, sapphic puppygirl icon. you Cannot take that hc from me i know that mf wags

yeah that's about all for now. :p 👍 im sure i'll draw them when midterms are over

[probablynotaskeleton]

Super personal Evangelion post under the cut <3

Last night we watched 3.0+1.0 at movie night. It's not the first time I've seen it, in fact I'm very familiar with it and the rest of the rebuilds. But this time was different.

I saw and fell in love with these movies whem i was about 14. I was pilot age, a lonely boy, and in particular was raised in a potent blend of self sacrificing leadership through tae kwon do, boy scouts, hema, proximity to mormons, and a bunch more (not to mention visibly brown around VERY white people). Essentially i was raised to be a warrior priest with the expectation of martyrdom and felt extremely isolated in my community.

Needless to say Shinji resonated with me. As i grew up I would organize parties to watch the movies with my friends, becoming an "EVA Guy" with glee. I learned a lot about the show, it's history, and Hideaki Anno's own history.

Around 14 is also when i started to become extremely depressed. As time went on, multiple events like my parents divorce, surviving a near fatal illness, and becoming partially disabled made things worse and worse.

As we learned about what would become 3.0+1.0, I was starting to, rebuild, my life. 3.0 and Kaworu's sacrifice had a core impact on my late development so i was incredibly invested. Even after seeing it, learning all the intricacies of the film and hearing Anno's story was so gratifying and inspirational. But I guess I hadn't really processed it. Or maybe I wasn't ready.

Especially because of my transition, I've been thinking a lot about all this warrior priest programming I've got and what to do with/about it. Mostly I've been coming up short. While watching the movie, I turned to my partner and said "I was born to pilot an EVA, but I guess I'll be a girl instead." and i started to cry. I haven't been able to stop since. Im crying while writing this. Because it hit me. And every word on screen just kept hitting me. Rei telling shinji that they want him around after everything and even if he couldn't help anymore just because they all like him. Kensuke, Toji, Misato, all the stuff from the townsfolk, Mari, and god the ending. It felt so pertinent.

What I'm getting at, is that i think im finally ready to accept that I've done enough. Ive tried plenty hard and that i don't need to sacrifice myself anymore. I can rest and be loved. I can have fun and be free and live for myself. And it feels so big. And even though shinjis not real and i don't know anno, it felt like we've all gone on these journeys together and that feels so special and means so much to me

Now being pretty inebriated miiiight have hekped a little but a breathrough is a breakthrough ;3

[countlessrealities]

@haus-der-mysterionmusen sent: “So, uh, do you have any plans for Christmas? My guardian always throws a party filled with instant food, holiday music, card games and like enough beer to get the whole bridge section drunk, so if you and your grandfather wanna stop by you're welcome. It’s probably gonna be a little awkward since her ex has also been invited, but I can kinda guess your grandfather likes that kind of drama.” Shinji offered with a frown.

At the question, Morty swings his legs a little from where they are hanging past the edge of the rooftop. It's an oddly calm day in Tokyo-3, so the two have managed to sneak away, to go hang out on top of one of the skyscrapers. The sky is clear and the sun is lukewarm enough, so it's the perfect weather to be in the open.

Deep down, the boy knows that he shouldn't be surprised. The holidays are quickly approaching, so it's just natural for them to be a subject of conversation. He doesn't mind, on the contrary, it's nice to talk about something normal for a change. Though, on the other hand, he's not thrilled about revealing how lame his Christmas plans are.

"S-Sort of? I mean, w-we do the same thing every year," he answers with a little, awkward shrug. "M-My paternal grandparents come over," no freaking way he'll mention Jacob, "M-Mom cooks the meal, D-Dad bakes dessert and...y-you know, we exchange presents an-and watch boring movies."

At some point he gets snatched away for an adventure, because Rick refuses to just sit and bear through the whole ordeal, but he can never tell if it's a good or a bad thing. Christmas adventures usually end up being...not good.

Maybe Shinji's invitation can be a good alternative to his and Rick's trip. They still get away from the family, but it's not to end up drenched in something disgusting or risking their lives.

"Y-You know, I think I'll come. I-It shouldn't be hard to convince Rick, h-he hates Christmas with the family anyway." Especially since he has to be around Jerry's parents. "I-I'll tell him about the booze an-and the relationship drama, 'c-cause yeah, he enjoys that stuff...w-when he's not involved."

He won't say it out loud, but he also has the suspicion that the scientist might have a crush on Misato, which alone would be enough to convince him to swing by.

"I-I'll let you know at what time we can come over."