#the stuff he does. WILD. very sexy
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Flint's sailing choices are 10x sexier if you have spent even a little bit of time working on a historic boat of any kind like i worked on a Very Easy To Sail 1920s schooner and trying to pull any of his maneuvers in that would have been far beyond any of the crew or our captain LET ALONE on an old square-rigger which is 10000000x more difficult to pilot and he is THROWING her into the wind HEAVING on the wheel it took literally dozens of people to raise our mainsails IN THE HARBOR and he is putting the t'gallants up at TOP SPEED while his other sails are NOT MADE OFF insane man
#black sails#james flint#idk im watching this and to be fair there is some Movie Magic going on but like#girl#if anyone actually tried that today they would be ARRESTED by the coast guard for endangerment lmaO#oh AND we had a literal engine on board so if we screwed up we could just bring her back#the stuff he does. WILD. very sexy
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Scaramouche and Kinich (separately) refusing to wear a sexy Halloween costume so you don’t let them cum until they put it on 🤫🎃
Pairings: Scaramouche, Kinich x male reader (separately)
Warnings: Male!reader, switch/top!reader, sub/bottom!characters, teasing, denial, edging, implied crossdressing, maid outfit + blowjob (Kinich), daddy kink + power struggle (Scara), small dick Scara
“No. Not happening.” he spat. His expression remained stern and his conviction steadfast.
This was not going to dissuade you, however. You were determined to see your sweet boyfriend in the sexy costume you (oh so lovingly) picked out (just for him).
“Why not? Where's your Halloween spirit?!” if looks could kill, then you would be shot dead where you stand as your partner glares through your very being. Guess you'll have to play dirty if you want this to happen…
Placing your hands on the bed—caging Scaramouche in—you lean in for another kiss. He's reluctant to accept, afraid you may have some trick up your sleeve. Still, he allows you to slip your tongue past his tender lips, and he's so quick to melt into the kiss it's almost pitiful.
Your knee presses between his legs, putting pressure on his little cock, and Scaramouche instantly humps your thigh. His body reacts in the cutest ways; arching his back off of the bed, twitching his hips as he grinds his clothed dick on your leg, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt the longer this goes on.
In need of air, you pull away. “Why do you always taste so damn good? You're addicting, you know that?” Scara lets out a single proud laugh, soaking up your praise like a sponge.
“I wanna make you feel good, babe. Want to–” Scara hums as your lips brush against his throat, leaving wet kisses in their wake. “–make you see stars.”
Scaramouche chuckles, hanging onto every word that falls from your deceptive lips. He bucks into your touch when you cup a hand over his cock, rubbing the rough fabric of his pants against the sensitive gland. “Won't you let me? My one and only?”
All the anemo user can think about is your touch and honeyed words—completely ignoring the warning signals from his brain as you drown them in sweet poison. Whatever, what's important is having his hands on me and his dick where I want it.
With a sly smile, your darling spreads his legs, inviting you to pamper him like you promised.
You slide your hand into his shorts eagerly, pleasuring him exactly how he likes it — doing all of the moves that drive him wild. Within minutes, Scara's cock is engorged and weeping with precum. His thighs tense and tremble, all while you keep him on the cusp of an orgasm without actually giving it to him.
His sharp voice cuts through the air as he demands; “That's enough! I know you're just–” the moan that escapes as you focus in on his tip catches Scaramouche off guard. “shit… you're j-just teasing me! I thought you said you wanted to make me feel good?”
“And this doesn't feel good?” you retort, sending a smartass look right back at him.
A groan rumbles through his small chest. “It does, but you know what you're doing, y/n. Get to the real stuff — either put that mouth to good use, or stick it in already.”
Ouch. If you didn't have a master plan in motion, you might've done just that, just to shut him up. But you're not giving him what he needs until you get what you want.
“Hmm… no~” his eye twitches at that. You've stopped moving your hand completely, simply holding his little cock while you smirk down at him. When he attempts to move his hips himself, and thrust into your hand, you hold his hips down, darkening your expression as a warning.
“I could allow you to cum… but you have to do something for me. Are you feeling agreeable tonight, my love?”
Scaramouche scoffs when you say that affectionate term with such disrespect. A part of him knows what you're going to say next — and he ushers you to go on.
“I picked out a little somethin' somethin' for you yesterday. If you wear it for me, I'll give you everything you want for the rest of the night~”
He fucking hates how easily you tempt him into going along with your ridiculous schemes… but he can't ignore his raging hard-on and your relentless edging either. He knows damn well that, if he doesn't agree, you will edge his brain out through his cock. You will prevent him from cumming—and the only thing on his mind will become you, and only you.
The tension remains for a moment — Scaramouche swallows thickly, then growls. “Fine. Lemme see what you bought for me.”
With an excited squeal you dash over to the closet, rummaging around until you find the item in question. You grasp the clothing tightly and return to Scaramouche's side, holding it out for him to take. He examines it for a minute, unfolding the cloth until he can tell what it is–
His lavender eyes blow wide open, and he scoffs “Are you insane? Do you actually expect me to put this on?”
“No. But if you want to cum…” There is no string of curses strong enough to convey your lover's frustration with you right now. Putting this outfit on would be humiliating, embarrassing, and destroy whatever integrity the puppet has left.
Scaramouche stares at the costume, fidgeting with it between his fingers. His head is hung low as a thousand thoughts swim through his brain. It's just for a little bit. You'll put it on, try to ignore it, and let him fuck you. He said he would do whatever you say, so as long as there are no tricks to this, you're the real winner here, right?
Fuck… it's so– so lewd. Do humans really find this kind of thing attractive? Besides, it looks like it's meant for a girl… Agh, but I'm already hard and if I refuse, he's just going to torture me all night. Just… just put it on. Once it's on I hold all of the power and he'll have to obey me. He promised.
“Don't stare while I undress… pervert.”
Trying to contain the absolutely diabolical grin on your face is useless. And you can't tear your gaze away as Scaramouche removes his remaining clothing. You do at least try to keep your eyes moving, but it's so hard when he slips his shorts down and his perfectly round butt is right there, facing you! His entire body is just a few feet away—with no barriers to get in your way. His skin is smooth—practically flawless—except for his back; which is littered with circular scars from a past he technically never experienced. Yet, when he regained the memories of that past, the markings etched themselves back into his being. Thinking back to the cause of those scars, you find your thoughts drifting some place (and some time) far, far away…
“You just couldn't help yourself, huh? Hellooo? Teyvat to y/n—wake up.”
You blink rapidly, shaking your head to get those lingering thoughts out. “Uh y-yeah. Mm, you look even better than I thought you would, love. The panties were a nice addition, don't you think?” your confident attitude returns as you take in the sight of Scaramouche in the skimpy get up.
“Shut it… I can't believe I'm doing this…” the puppet whines, though his dick still stands at full attention while he complains.
His slim waist tempts you, and you can't stop yourself from grabbing it and pulling him closer. Scaramouche glares up at you, but he finds himself leaning in as your body heat seeps into his person. The tender moment is ruined when you lift his body and toss him onto the bed in one quick motion.
“Oof! Tch, in a hurry now, are we?”
“Maybe a little bit~” Perhaps it's the lack of clothing that's causing him to feel extra vulnerable, but Scaramouche finds himself squirming under your piercing gaze quickly. Your eyes burn right through him — eyeing him as if he's nothing but a piece of meat for you to tear into and devour. He doesn't entirely notice how his thighs press together to hide his most vulnerable area, not until you slide a hand between them and spread his legs wide open, that is.
“MmmMMmM… o-ok, I did my part, now you have to– aah~ Stop it–” the puppet whines as you rub your hand over his tiny cock, jumbling his thoughts. Precum has already left a stain where the tip is, and it flows through more of the thin fabric as you stroke the underside of his dick with your fingers. “you have to hold up your end of the bargain, right? mmMPH–!”
“I suppose I do. Then, tell me what you want me to do next~” your reply in a silky smooth tone. Within seconds Scaramouche is guiding your hands underneath those cheap panties, letting out an adorable gasp when your fingernails graze his sensitive cock.
“Stroke it, and don't stop unless I tell you to.” With a sultry yet mocking 'yes sir', you continue your earlier motions. Using your extensive knowledge of your partner's sexual preferences, it's only a matter of minutes before you get him wet and needy. Scaramouche has wrapped his arms around your neck, keeping the two of you tethered while his dick leaks all over his tummy. The skimpy costume is long since tainted with the scent of sex and sweat — and he hasn't even cum yet!
The puppet lets out a desperate whine, panting your next order with urgency; “Here! In here!” he guides your hand down to his wet hole, coated in his own juices that have been dribbling down his ass the whole time. You sink in up to the first knuckle and Scaramouche chokes on his moan — your other hand has remained wrapped around his little cock, just as he demanded, bringing an endless flow of pleasure to his hazy brain.
“AhHN– deeper! F-finger me more! aaAHH–!!” his body jerks as you insert your entire index finger into his ass. Scaramouche grits his teeth, humping his cock against your palm while you work his hole open.
When he feels ready enough, he tells you to stop, pulling off the soiled panties himself and demanding for you to take out your dick and fuck him with him.
“yyeEESS-! mmph~” Scaramouche groans as you slide your thick shaft inside. “Bury it deeper—deeper! mHM-MM like that~” His walls clamp down on your dick, preventing you from leaving his hot insides even if you wanted to (and you don't~ 💖). Watching your lover unravel beneath you in that slutty get-up keeps your cock rock solid as it rams his cute little hole—splitting him in two with every thrust.
Grabbing his waist a little too tightly, you control Scara's movement, preventing your dick from going more than halfway in—which earns a growl from the puppet. “–the hell are you doing? I didn't say slow down.”
“Do you want to cum?” What kind of a question is that? Of course he does! Scaramouche can feel his balls tighten as you fuck him, preparing a load bigger than you would expect someone of his size to be able to produce. His hole aches to be filled again — ready to receive your own load all in his guts.
“Yes! K-keep— hnmgh don't stop pleeease!”
Frustrated, Scaramouche claws into your forearms, while you simply hold him still and smirk down at his bratty form. “Well, you did ask nicely.” you laugh, thrusting back inside so far that you can feel your cock hit the off switch on his brain. “Gonna give me a nice big cumshot, right? All over that pretty tummy of yours?” The only response the puppet can muster is a vigorous nod and a whimper.
“Yeah? Good, good. Fuck… cum for daddy, Scara. Give daddy that fuckin' load, huh?”
Like a magic word, that was all it took to push Scaramouche over the edge — bringing him to a shuddering climax as he shouts “Yes yes yes! Please, daddy, gonna c-cumMM—!! 💙” His voice falters as he cums — shooting the warm substance onto his own pelvis while his eyes cross. That pornographic expression Scaramouche wears causes you to cum soon after, filling his tiny body with your warmth.
Though he doesn't physically have a heart, you still swear that you can hear the rapid beating in his chest as Scaramouche settles down, regaining his senses while you gently stroke his cheek.
Your body gives out, collapsing on his chest as you both pass out for an indiscernible amount of time. “Hey, pretty boy, how ya feeling?” you ask with a groggy voice, brushing a bit of hair away from his eyes.
Stretching his arms out, Scara replies “Sore, tired… but it felt nice too, I guess.” he turns his face away from you as he adds that last part, finding it embarrassing to admit such a thing. You chuckle at his sudden shyness and lean your head down to place a kiss on his cheek, then his nose when he turns his head back to glare at you weakly.
Before you get up to clean yourselves off, you keep Scaramouche pinned, not yet ready to let go as you assault his face, neck, chest, and hands with kisses.
“Oh, but… but, my love, you would look so pretty in the clothing I chose for you.” you feign disappointment, frowning as you fake a sniffle. Kinich crosses his arms and stares at you, clearly not falling for the act.
With a huff, you drop the false sadness and straighten your stance. “Alright, Mr. No Fun, can we still have sex though?”
Only someone who understands the saurian hunter intimately would notice the spark of emotion in those gorgeous eyes—and the slight twitch of his lip before he answers you — “Yes, just stop pouting.”
You sigh in relief, closing the distance between you and your lover and cupping his cheeks as you breath “Thank you…” Kinich uncrosses his arms, placing a gloved hand on your cheek and leaning closer. The kisses start off chaste and gentle, but as you taste more and more of your lover on your lips, you feel the addiction creeping in. Gradually, the kisses become longer—deeper. Kinich allows your tongue to slip past his lips with zero resistance, and he lets a single moan out as you pull him closer.
“I jus'… needed you today.” you slur between hot kisses. “Haah… gods, I really fuckin' need you, Kinich. Lemme know if this is too much, please–” With a soft thud, Kinich falls onto your mattress. His hands snake around your body as it presses against his—pinning him down while you desperately trail kisses down his neck.
The saurian hunter makes no effort to resist, even tugging at the waist of your pants; just as impatient as you are. “No, it's… it's fine. Mm, this is nice.”
Suddenly, his clothes are too tight, and everything feels way too hot as his loving partner assaults him with affection. Groping at Kinich's chest proves to be the secret at making him melt even faster; his nipples harden under the tight fabric, making it that much easier to play with them and make your sweetheart arch his back.
Something catches his attention — pointing his gaze down a little, Kinich notices how hard you've become just from a bit of making out. Your pants struggle to contain your excitement, and your lover finds it hard to contain his own now. You notice Kinich staring, and his cheeks heat up at the humiliation of getting caught. “See something you like?” you tease.
His reply is snarky, but the look in his eyes betrays that tone. “You wish.” After that sass, you decide to tease your darling a bit.
Taking your index finger and dragging it down his chest, flicking over one of his nipples in the process, until you reach that big jacket tied around his waist. Your hand dips underneath, reaching further down until… “Ooh, so wet already? Your body can't lie, you know.”
At this, Kinich rolls his eyes, which devolves into his eyes rolling back as you rub your thumb around his slit. His cock twitches in your hand, dribbling precum down his skin. Your tone drops to something more sultry and intimidating as you question Kinich; “You do like what you see. You want to feel relief—to cum and relieve all of that pent up tension—am I right?”
He can only nod his head reluctantly, succumbing to your devious scheme without entirely realizing it. You stroke his cock once and the sickening slick noise that it makes causes Kinich to squirm under your know-it-all gaze. You pretend to think for a second, then offer, “You know, I have a solution that I think we'll both love~”
“I'm not wearing that stupid—”
“JUST hear me out;” you interject, “if you wear that pretty costume for me, I will do whatever you want, you need only give me the order. Sounds like a fair price, doesn't it?”
The gears turn in Kinich's head for a moment, before he lets out a sigh of defeat. “You'll do anything I want?”
“Anything. Your wish is my command.” you reassure.
“This must be some costume if you're willing to give me control just like that.” a faint smirk makes itself onto the saurian hunter's features.
You laugh as the image of the costume comes to mind. “See for yourself — I left it in the drawer over there, in case you changed your mind~”
—
Five minutes later, your beloved emerges from the corner of the room where he went to change into this silly thing. “This is what you're into? Really?”
You take that as your cue to turn around. Immediately, your eyes light up at the glorious view before you: Kinich—in all of his perfection—wearing a blasphemous version of a maid uniform. It's mostly white frills that leave nothing to the imagination, white sheer thigh highs, and a frilly headband. The costume does a wonderful job showing off all of your darling's best assets; like his arm muscles, thighs, and his ass that isn't covered at all at the back of the dress.
Kinich rolls his eyes again as he takes a seat at the end of the bed. Now that he's sitting, his cock pokes up under the tiny skirt, attracting your lustful eye with ease. This does not go unnoticed. “See something you like?” he mocks.
You can only bite your lip as you nod, still staring directly at his boner as it creates a glaring shape, and a darkening spot where his cock is leaking through the frills. Kinich motions for you to come closer, leaving you to stand there in front of him while his confidence rises through the roof at your display of compliance. “Kneel.” you drop to your knees instantly, nearly drooling at the thought of what's to come next.
“Say 'aaah'.” you open your mouth obediently, and watch as Kinich flips the skirt up, revealing his twitching dick. He guides it into your wet mouth, petting your hair while you wrap your lips around his tip and begin to suck. You hum happily around his cock, adjusting to his size as the minutes pass.
Kinich notices you fidgeting restlessly, and offers “You wanna put your hands on me?” you nod and whine around his cock. “Go ahead.” he allows, placing your hands on his thighs so that you can mindlessly rub and squeeze them while you suck him off. Kinich holds the back of your head, and you let your mouth hang open so he can fuck your throat freely. You can't help gagging as he pleasures himself with your mouth, but it's not a bad feeling. You're just happy that you can have someone so amazing in this way.
Even with something filling your mouth, you're still hungry for more. You've let Kinich control the pace until now—until you wrap your arms around the backs of his thighs and hold him still while you suck him silly.
The saurian hunter can't hold in the shameless moan that comes out as he tips his head back, filling up your mouth with his load. “mmMhM! Y-yes-!” Kinich reaches behind him, grabbing the sheets in his fist as he rides out his orgasm by humping your face—all while you leave handprints on his thighs from how hard you've been holding them.
His cock pops out of your mouth, still connected by a string of cum, and you pant as air fills your lungs again. Kinich's vision is blurry, but he can faintly make out your half-lidded eyes as you look up at him, sticking out your tongue to show that you swallowed it all.
“Damn, that was pretty intense. I guess I should wear this more often if it means being rewarded like that.” he smiles, leaning back on one hand and using the other to pet your hair.
“Yeah, you should.” you reply, pushing his chest so that he falls backwards as you stand up. Now you tower over your shaky lover, scanning over his body and savoring every curve and muscle as you do.
Kinich winces when you pull him flush against you by his thighs. “What…?”
“Did you really think I would be satisfied with just that? Please, Kinich, that was only the beginning.” you tease, “There's so much more I want to do to you while you're still wearing this~”
#my writing#requested#halloween specials 🎃#oneshot#scaramouche#scaramouche smut#scaramouche x male reader#scaramouche x reader#sub scaramouche#kinich#kinich smut#kinich x male reader#kinich x reader#sub kinich#genshin smut#genshin x reader#genshin x male reader#sub genshin#male reader#dom reader#top reader#dom male reader#sub male character
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Could you do more of nsfw headcanons for Lucifer please?
lucifer's nsfw alphabet
I decided to do this wayyyy, hope I will saticify your requests
MDNI!!!
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
really caring, always making sure that you are okay after you guys are done
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
he loves his hands and he likes seeing them on your body; lives for thighs and your neck (buries his face in there)
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)
creampie, creampie, creampie. loves to feel like he is marking you as his.
also loves to see his cum on you (like your stomach).
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
has hard time with cumming on his own, and always needs you to do it
(and sometimes he wishes you would spank him, but he is too embarrased to tell you that).
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
I mean he has experience, but... yeah, you need to teach him or you can learn together ;)
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
face-off (likes to kiss you) and cowgirl (wants to see your face).
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
it depens, but he can allow himself to be a little silly (if it makes you happy).
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
he is very well-groomed and always tries to maintain hygiene when doing such things.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
he is so romantic like- no sexy things if you are not in the mood
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
masturbates a lot, but like I said has a problem with cumming, he needs you.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
humping (a lot of it, in his clothes as well), sub!/dom! relationship, slight degradation
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
his office, and bedroom... anywhere in his house, but never outside.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
you. especially when you act all dom to him.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
hurt you while during it or doing it when you don't want to. also never extreme stuff like choking, he is too sweet.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
he likes to give and receive equally (PLS RIDE HIS FACE)
P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
his pace is rather sensual, but when he is about to cum, he starts to go faster.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
he is not a fan of quikies, he wants to devoure you.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
he can take a risk and try something new, but again, he is never going to hurt you.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
he can go all night... this man has some crazy stamina.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
no... he never tried them and why, when he has you.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
he doesn't like to tease you, but likes when you tease him.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
he is pretty loud and expressive.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
he is a total sub.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
12 cm (4,7 inch), with erection 18 cm (7 inches).
long and slightly veiny.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
when it comes to you, it's pretty high.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep )
straightly after you two clean up, he snuggles close to you and you both fall asleep.
#hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel x reader#lucifer morningstar x reader#lucifer magne#lucifer magne x reader
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How You Deserve | JOHN PRICE
words - 5k
warnings - smut, unprotected, p in v, fingering, oral fem!recieving, slight degradation, cheating?
a/n: huge thankyou so much to @sky-is-the-limit for allowing me to use her idea, it's helped kickstart my writing again on a fresh account. I do plan on writing more, definitely. I am just a very slow paced writer. But I put a lot of effort into this and hope it lived up to what you imagined. This is the idea she had.
MDNI!!!
Apartment 138 b
Your apartment. 139 b was John's.
He told you to call him John when you first met, and you couldn’t think of another name since. You had lived there for just under 5 months now and seeing your neighbour every now and then was a blessing.
God the man was attractive, you always loved an older man, and my god does he pull it off well. When you first met he offered to help you move the rest of your things, and who were you to decline such an offer, watching his muscles flex and he picked up boxes. He even told you to call if you had an issue - giving you his number for ‘emergencies’. The little graze of his hand against your made you wonder if you could use it for more than that.
And of course you did call, one day when your sink wouldn’t stop dripping. you knew just the man to call, and when he came over you made sure to take great care of him.
You may have spent the afternoon cleaning your whole apartment before getting dressed up, but not to the point where it would have been noticeable. Just enough that you hoped you might catch his attention.
“Thank you so much once again John” you said as you moved about your kitchen, past the man under your sink. Your eyes not being able to resist travelling over that part of his exposed torso as he was under you sink. His shirt riding up with every movement of his arms, just enough to tease you. You bit your lip at the sight.
“sweetheart, you don’t have to thank me so much, it’s fine honestly. I'm happy to help, gets me out of the house” he joked, tinkering about with all sorts of tools, you leaned over the counter, watching as his forearms flexed with each twist of the wrench.
Fuck... those pet names he gave you always left you fangirling. He made you blush like a little school girl.
“wow, and here’s me thinking you had a wild night life”
he chuckles as you can’t help but smile at the sound, god even his laugh was sexy, and you wish you could see the smile on his face.
“Not me, the wildest I get is staying up past 10 on a weekday.”
“I'm shocked, I thought you would be a man of the night, getting up to all kinds of mischief, bringing women home and going down to the pub.” You fake shock, secretly you were just doing this to find out more about him. Find out if he had a girlfriend that was lucky enough to have him.
“Nope” he laughed once more “no wild women of the night for me”
‘awh dammit, that’s my chance blown then”
“well I do believe in second chances love." he says after a moments silence. He gets up from under the sink, standing with you counter top in between you both. His aftershave wafting towards you with his movements, drawing you in.
"lucky me then..." You say just above a whisper as you stare up at the man in front of you. God.
What you wouldn't do to jump over the counter and drag him to bed with you, wrapping your arms over his broad shoulders and dragging your hands over his muscular back. You felt jealous of your sink pipes for a second, realising that they got to feel his hands and you didn't.
But sadly he bid you a good night, letting you know he was just a call away if you needed help with anything. You watched after him as he walked out of your door and into his own.
You planned on breaking lots of stuff around the house to get him back round.
You saw him all the time, you would sometimes go out and plan to arrive the same time that he did, you soon figured out he was some kind of military man, and watching him walk by you in his uniform was a sight to behold, you would 'accidentally' drop your keys in order to prolong the time you could see him. You would exchange pleasantries and smiles whenever you saw each other, but you always noticed his stare lingering on you, and you never minded. To be fair, you practically undressed the man with your eyes whenever he returned home in his uniform. The sound of his boots against the stairs up your complex would leave you skin tingling.
In the mornings when he was due to leave for work you would be outside if your house in skimpy nightwear, getting your mail and wishing him a good day at work.
He was convinced that he actually had a better day at work on those mornings that he saw you. God he wouldn't even let you out of the apartment looking like that, he would keep you wrapped up in his arms in bed, risking being late to work for a few more minutes. He had to practically force himself to keep walking past and not stand and stare. But you were so sweet, practically inviting him in.
You were also so pleasant to him, he remembers having to correct you every time you called him 'Mr Price' and act like it didnt turn him on. You always dressed so nicely whenever he was round, wearing tops with necklines that complimented your breasts, or tight fitting skirts. And the smell of your perfume whenever he some over is almost intoxicating, its as if you sprayed some right before he came through the door (you did).
He was tempted to break something each time he was round so he had another reason to come back, he liked having you fawn over him. Asking him about his job, making him tea, giving him cookies to take back with him. And the way you would look up at him and rub his arm as he told you to call him if there was any thing you needed. And as he looked down at you, his mind couldnt help but wander.
Holding your stare he wondered if you would keep the same eye contact with him whilst you were sucking his cock, or he imagined if those pretty eyes would screw shut if he was eating you pussy. He had to shake himself out of it, walking away with lusty eyes and pants that felt significantly tighter than before.
Now you did have a boyfriend. kind of. a weird relationship with a guy you met a few months ago, he was a friend of a friend. You didn’t mind him, he filled the void and while you felt bad that it wasn’t a true relationship, you knew he felt a similar way. You could see his eyes wander and he’s always been rather secretive. A few times you have suspected cheating, but honestly couldn’t bother yourself with the drama. You didnt love him, and he didnt love you. simple. He served a purpose, or he did. He's started to not do so well in serving that purpose recently.
So there you lay, wishing you had spent the evening calling John over to fix the shower, instead you had your boyfriend rather aggressively trying to rub your clit, and failing rather miserably.
He had never been great at sex, but as of recently you kept having to question why you would invite him round, he never got better.
"you like that? yeah? you like my huge cock. It's big right?" okay. overstatement.
He thrust in and out of you hard and fast, clearly focused on chasing his own pleasure, his average - not huge - cock was not doing much for you. "so big inside you huh?" he questioned again, his rubbing not slowing down, neither his thrusts. You let out a lacklustre moan, hoping the quiz about the size of his penis would stop. You tried to be in the moment, but it wasn't really working. He had you in missionary, he wasn't even looking at you and to be honest, you were almost bored. He wasn't here for you, he was here for himself.
It left you questioning why you even let him come over "a bit to the left" you tried to ask him, guiding his hand with your own, but he wasn't really interested. Hardly paying attention. a few seconds later his thumb moving back to where it was before. no where near you clit.
"oh fuck- gonna cum" he splutters out, pushing all his weight onto you
God why didnt you call John. Of course he was on your mind right now.
Suddenly you felt embarrassed, he could probably hear this absolute shit show. You had days where you could hear his tv through your shared wall, and you realised he could probably hear this.
That embarrassment was soon replaced with another feeling when you got a little idea in your head.
"oh FUCK" you let out a nearly pornographic moan that even had your boyfriend snapping his head to look at you. You were fully aware that your bedroom wall was the shared wall between you and John.
"that feel good, feel it deep inside you?" oh god you were encouraging him. You just hoped John could hear this, because otherwise you would be boosting your boyfriends ego for no reason.
"soo good, fuck yes. right there. oh my god" you kept on, moaning loader and louder, practically squealing and screaming. "Sooo big!" God you actually had to try not to laugh at yourself.
This clearly excited your boyfriend as his thrusts sped up even more, a few seconds later and he was cumming with a load noise. You of course pretended you had cum too, putting on your best performance yet.
"oh fuck, yes yes yes gonna cum, OH, oh fuck" you squealed. Having to slap your hand over you mouth to stop a laugh following. John couldnt have not heard that. In fact you think the whole apartment building heard it.
Your boyfriend practically crushing you under you weight now, feeling rather proud of himself. He then leaves nothing but a few minutes later, of course. Not bothering to check on you. God you really needed to break up with him.
After cleaning yourself up and getting into some comfy clothes you decided you needed some fresh air, to try and get the captain out of your mind. You swear the say he told that he was a captain you almost exploded, got to love an authority figure as well. He just kept getting better and better.
As you lean on the railing just outside your front door, you heard movement from you neighbour, and as if it was a sign from the universe to tell you that he would forever be stuck in your mind, John comes out. Rather hurriedly zipping up his coat and locking his door.
"in a rush?" you ask as you watch him, a small smile on your face as you watch him freeze at your voice. As he turns to you, you can see his pink tinted face, as you hope its because of your little act earlier.
"uh, yeah, just needed some things" he says, clearing his throat as he glances at you, not looking at you for more than a few seconds before looking away.
"hmm, have fun" you nod at him, and he rushes off. You almost giggle to yourself as you made him squirm. Your hoping that your little plan worked.
And you think it did, Johns stares at you in the hallways became more intense, and when you did get him round to fix the shower, its as if he didnt want to leave, always finding new ways to continue a conversation or different things he needed to fix. You could basically feel the tension when you two got close. You wanted him, badly.
Just to make him squirm even more, you wanted to make him snap. You needed him to react, to do something, so you tried you little boyfriend trick once more. Calling over you disappointing boyfriend, who clearly enjoyed himself more than you, and then faking it louder than before. Something truly turned you on about the fact he could hear. And minutes after it finished you boyfriend left again.
You were prancing about your apartment, rather pleased with yourself once more. I mean, maybe not pleased as you just had incredibly shit sex, but it was worth it you hoped. After a quick shower to wash the evening disappointment off of you, you chucked on some panties and an oversized shit, preparing to wrap yourself up and watch a movie of some kind. Your wet hair tickling your back as you reached to grab some fluffy socks. Then without warning your whole apartment goes dark, you body jumps slightly as you search for your drawers, finding the flashlight you keep. Great just what you needed after trying to make a bad night good.
You rush about you apartment lighting some candles in each room, but you didnt have many.
This is an emergency, you thought to yourself.
Seeing as you didnt have your phone on you, it made sense to go and knock on his door, it was the evening, but not late enough for him to be asleep. You rush to your own door, opening only to find the man you were just about to go and get. huh, maybe you summoned him or something.
"John, I was just about to come get you, is your power out as well, what did you need?" you ask, curious as to why this huge man was standing outside your door, basically blocking and of the night sky from being seen behind him.
"I'm here to finish what that stupid little boy you fuck around with cant" He says, and you can feel your insides flip at his deep voice.
"Mr price-" You start, shocked to see the burly man practically oozing with lust, his heavy breathing and unbreaking stare made you feel timid as your legs turn to jelly, taking a few steps back.
"John." he corrects, stepping forward into you dimly lit apartment "Every fucking time I see his car pull up, I have to stop myself from beating the living shit out of him. How could a man not spoil something as precious as you" He says, his huge hands now gripping at your waist, you go to speak but he cuts you off. "and don't even try and lie, I know your faking it. I know you haven't cum a single time you've been with him, but still you want to tease me, you know exactly what you've been doing to me you fucking minx"
You don't even know what to say, you've been caught red handed. You lean into his grasp on your waist, his hands feeling even better than you could have imagined.
"not so noisy now love are you?" he coos at you, he can see you resolve slowly failing as you become putty in his hands "how about this? I give us what we both want and treat you like you deserve." A small smirk resides on his face as he watches your eyes light up.
He was cocky, but you loved it.
"yes John please, I'm sorry." You practically whine at the man as he quickly shuts your door behind him, the loss of his hands feels like a sin, but soon he grabbing you by the hand and taking you to your bedroom, you chuckle internally at the fact he knows his way around you apartment so easily.
"oh no darling, I'm sorry. I should've seen what a desperate slut you were sooner." He's whispering in your ear at this point, telling you filthy things, getting you as desperate for him as he's been for you. Gently placing you down on the bed before positioning himself between you legs, kissing at your thighs "Poor thing, you've been begging for it for months now, how cruel am I for not giving it to you"
Honestly you don't know how to react. Your brain has gone to mush while this gorgeous man is muttering filth to you and he's about to eat you out, but his stare is full of innocence. Those gorgeous eyes not breaking eye contact with you, even as he kisses you over your panties. You try your best not to cry out at the sight, but that is just a promise of what is to come
"let me show you what you've been missing out on, please?" there's that fake innocence again, it may seem like he's asking you to be sure, but he already knows your answer. He just wants to hear you say it.
"Please John, I want it so bad, want you." you beg him. I t felt good to finally tell him, all of that tension finally being released. And all you saw was the cocky smirk on his face again before he was removing your panties.
"shit sweetheart, Your practically soaked and I haven't even touched you yet. Did he ever do this for you?" John asked, running a finger through you soaked folds, to be honest you didnt even know you could get this wet before the sex even started. You shook your head, of course he didn't, he never thought to be that generous.
"dickhead" you could hear price mutter to himself as he continued to tease your dripping hole with his fingers. "what a waste" Without warning he then plunges two fingers deep inside of your, letting out a low groan at how wet you are.
You couldnt help but break the shared eye contact with him as your hands gripped as you bedsheets and your eyes screwed shut. Finally you were getting what you had been deprived of for so long. His fingers starting pumping in and out of you slowly, building a consistent pace. This time, instead of forced the moans you were so used to the moan let out was completely involuntary and you hands fisted as your sheets. John cant help but let out a small chuckle at the noises you make when he finally gets his hand on you.
"shh, that's it sweetheart, just relax f'me" he rumbled as his other hand finds it way to stroking you thigh, trying to calm your tense state. Your eyes snapped open, trying to get a glimpse of John. Each thrust of his fingers sending you mind further and further into mush. Your hips chasing his ever move, bucking with every brush against your g-spot.
He looked heavenly, his face gently lighted by the candles in the room, his hair slightly out of place while his eyes focus themselves on you completely. His hands flexing with every movement he makes.
Never taking his eyes off you, he leans down, finally tasting you. His tongue licking gently stripes, collecting your wetness.
He moans at the taste, something oh so satisfying about finally getting his mouth on you. Like his dreams come true.
His thick fingers worked magic inside you as their movements never faltered. His tongue increasing in its assault of your clit, running over the bundle of nerves over and over leaving you twitching and writhing beneath him. You could already feel you orgasm approaching yet he had hardly gotten started yet. "fuck, so good" you whimpered out, and you saw the pleased look he had on his face. Your body twisted and writhed on your bed, not used to the intense pleasure you were feeling as this man carefully and skilfully worked on your pussy.
"I know, I know. Being so good for me." he whispered, and even that drew another moan out of you. It was almost overwhelming, you hadn't had someone care for your pleasure solely before, and it almost seemed as if John was getting off on it by the quite groans he was letting out himself. Waves of pleasure flowing over you, and you wouldn.t mind being drowned in this feeling as you slip further into the lust.
Your hands released their iron grip that they held on the sheets and found their way to his hair, tugging at the dark roots. This seemed only to encourage the man lapping at your cunt. He was devoted for sure. The feeling of your hands gripping his hair, letting him know that he was doing his job right.
He could sense you were already nearing your climax, he could feel you tightening around his fingers, practically sucking him back in every time he threatened to leave. His tongue sucking your clit, focusing its movements, and that mixed with an added finger and some verbal encouragement, your orgasm grew ever closer. Every breathy moan as whimper was a signal to john that he was doing a job well done, he watched your face eagerly, watching to see what had an affect on you, trying to see what you liked the most. He wanted it just as much as you did. A desperate plea for release clear within you both
"come on darling, give it to me. Good girl." he spoke lowly, watching as you tried to force you eyes open, yet failing as your orgasm took over. You stomach tightening as his fingers carefully rode you through. You could be certain you weren't faking any of those moans as you basically sung his name like a prayer. "John, fuck, fuck-oh my god". Your legs tightened around his hand as you felt like every nerve in your body was on fire. You had finally received the pleasure you had been wishing for and it left your eyes burning with tears, tears of pleasure of course.
"There you go sweetheart, you did so well f'me" He whispers as he kisses up your body, his hands tracing over your skin as if he were trying to memorise every inch of it. He almost seemed angry that your shirt served as another layer between you both as he ridded you of both his and yours, throwing them somewhere in your room. You were too far gone to notice. You chest still heaving up and down as you came down from you climax. "Thank you" was the only thing you could mutter to him and he kissed up your chest and neck, before finally kissing you on the lips. You both moaning at the sensation, at something that had been long awaited. You had found their way to the back of his neck as he kissed you hard, his lips almost punishing yours as his tongue entered your mouth. You allowed yourself to be claimed by him, having no desire for any kind of power, you were his for him to do with as he pleased.
"can you take a bit more for me sweetheart? Got to have my cock inside you” he groans lowly in your ear, the noise practically ungodly. You whine, you cant tell if its at the loss of the contact of his lips or his filthy mouth. Or maybe its the huge hand now making its way to your breasts, playing with your nipples ever so gently, making it harder for you to form words.
"oh don't tell me I've lost you already love? First time being fucked properly and your already gone." He coos at you, smirking to himself. He is rather proud of the effect he's having on you, it had gone far better than he expected. Although your previous boyfriend didnt really leave much he had to live up to.
"please John, fuck me. I need it so bad, need your cock." Your whole body was practically screaming out for more. Your mind only being able to focus on one thing as your eyes trace over the man in front of you. The buzz of your previous orgasm still on your skin leaving you craving another. You couldnt help but be selfish as this man was offering himself to you so generously.
"oh you need it darling? well in that case..." he trails off, pulling your legs open, wide enough for him to fit in between as he lines himself up at your entrance, slowly teasing you, dragging his red tip through your folds. He had enough composure to tease himself also by doing this, being almost painfully hard. You couldnt help but watch intently, almost being mesmerised by the lewd act.
He couldn't take it anymore. H e needed to be inside you, he craved it. All those times he had imagined you bent over your kitchen counter, or him dragging you back to his room to have his way with you finally coming true.
Slowly, he pressed himself inside of you, inch by inch. He wanted you to feel him, all of him. And he certainly was big. A joint moan released by the both as you as he sinks himself inside of you fully, and he stays unmoving for a moment, basking in the closeness you now both shared.
You were absolutely fucked. You couldnt keep it together. You were so full, finally so satisfied that you couldnt even think straight, all your mind was focusing on was how you stretched so well around him. It was taking everything for you not to start moving your hips or crying out for him, trying to keep your restraint as you felt practically euphoric. You felt like you had been lit on fire, your skin feeling alive with every breath he took, the slight movement inside of you.
Finally after what seemed like centuries John moves. His forehead dropping down to rest on yours as he tries to ease a slow pace, practically torturing himself.
"Holy fuck- so perfect. You feel so fucking perfect f'me sweetheart" he groans out from above you, his whole body encasing yours as his hips speed up pace.
Your hands find his back, clawing at the skin as you lay with you mouth open in a silent scream of pleasure. Your eyes fluttering shut as you try to focus on how good you are feeling right now. That is until a firm hand grasps you jaw, not enough to hurt but enough to make your eyes open.
"You keep your eyes on me, don't you dare look away. Want you to watch me as I ruin you." he whispers to you. He wouldn't be surprised if you didnt understand what he said, you were a whimpering mess. He had just asked one of the hardest things for you to do. You had to watch this man fuck the shit out of you, it was almost too much to handle.
His deep groans echoing in your room, partnered with your moans.
What you don't realise is seeing you in this way, so vulnerable is his favourite part. The sparkle in you glossed over eyes as you cant help but be trained on him, the smudged mascara framing them perfectly. You glistening with either your spit or his, either way it turns him on. You spread out so innocently before him, for him to be the one to make you feel so good, and not be able to fake it even if you tried.
his hips were punishing, every thrust now pulling a moan out of you, music to his ears he thought as he smirked down at you. how cute he thought, watching you struggle not to close your eyes an scrunch them shut at the pleasure
"Too much for you sweetheart?" he questioned mockingly, receiving only a cry in response. You clench around him, never wanting him to leave your walls. He definitely didnt want to leave them either.
His hands coming down to brace your hips, stilling you wriggling as he pounds into you, harder and faster, he wants you to be able to feel him afterwards. He doesn't want there to ever be someone that can make you feel as good as him. You clench again, and again and John ca tell your close.
"Gonna come for me again love? Come on, on my cock, there's a good girl" Jesus this man knew exactly what to say to have you screaming for him. One of his hands releasing the bruising grip it kept on you hips to rub at your puffy clit.
With your moans and the way you fit him so perfectly, He couldn't see himself lasting much longer either, his main mission is to have you cumming before him.
"come on darlin, need it. Come all over my cock" Whispering in your ear with that gorgeous voice of his as his thumb fingers rub tight circles on your clit and his huge cock is practically splitting you open has you tumbling over the edge.
"John, oh my fucking god." Every muscle in your body tensed as he made you cum once again. God it was so good, like a coil that had finally been released. At last you had finally been satisfied. Your legs wrapping around his back, trapping him in as his hips still hammered into you, leaving you shaking from sensitivity. Like a madman possessed he chased his own orgasm, watching where you both connected intently as you soaked him completely with your release.
"Fuck sweetheart, gonna ruin this perfect little pussy" He moans, his hips now faltering in their pace, stuttering as his orgasm comes close. Your overstimulated body now quivering as you do you best to clench round the man, wanting to bring him the same pleasure that he just gave you.
"please John, i want it so bad" you whisper to him, and that sends him over the edge, spilling himself inside of you, thrusting his cu deep inside of you, continuing until he couldn't anymore. His hips stilling as he finishes, before gently pulling out of you. His eyes unmoving as he watches himself seeping out of you used hole. He wanted this moment imprinted on his brain
You lay there on the bed, completely fucked out and unmoving as he goes to grab a washcloth. It saddens him slightly to clear away this mark he had left in you. But he does it either way, gently cleaning you both off.
He soon settles next to you, a content sigh leaving his mouth. "So, who was better me or your ex?" he asks, a stupid question with an obvious answer. Laughing as you slap him playfully on the arm
"Oh my ex for sure"
#captain john price#cod x reader#cod fanfic#john price x reader#john price smut#john price cod#mw2 smut#cod smut#captain john price smut#call of duty smut
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Ꮺ Anon Requested ⨾ Polyamory/harem relationship with head over heels bottom subs,, one is a cute shy guy who loves m reader so fucking much he doesn't mind getting cucked and stuff as long as it pleases reader,,another one is a hot sexy model who's very proud of his body, always taking care of himself so you'll praise him when you fuck him, taking care of his hair well so you can easily pull them,,, kinky sub who's into wild plays, totally devoted to reader and would do literally anything like damn.. Another cold aloof kind of man,, people are intimidated by him and he's all strong and one man army stuff.. Yet when it comes to reader he's just a mess like damn,, all these pretty, smart, strong subbies also has reader's personal brand on his skin,,, they're so head over heels they do anything for reader's acknowledgement,,,
Ꮺ Eun Replies ⨾ Oh my, It is lovely to see my sweets still active. I have been thinking about this entry the moment I came back in this platform. How I've missed all of you.. I did wrote them separately but I decided to write and post another where they all meet in the future. But anyways, what should we name these three?
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Ꮺ Disclaimer — NSFW.
Reader ⨾ MALE. YOU/YOUR.
Words used ⨾ 1578
Links ⨾ My Navigation
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Let's say, you're an average guy with a typical 9 to 5 job. You couldn't care less about what anyone has to say or do to you, yet three men managed to catch your interest. One of them being Shy!sub. It's not like you guys have been together since childhood; you only met during middle school.
Shy!sub is incredibly shy and easily embarrassed. He tends to blush a lot, especially around you. Even the slightest touch or intimate gesture from you can make him flush red.
Shy!sub is used to your rantings while playing with him, and sometimes, you being a little shit happens to take your anger out on him during your calls. He never says or complains about it; he just listens or sometimes even apologizes to you.
Shy!sub enjoys playing video games with you, even if he's not very good at them and you call him out for jt. He just finds it relaxing and a great way to bond with you. He often cheers you on during your gaming sessions.
Not only does he enjoys gaming, Shy!sub has a secret love for romantic movies. He often watches them when you're not around, dreaming of the day you and him will have your own romantic story.
Shy!sub looks at you as if he's admiring a piece of art, even if you're just there yelling and getting mad about something ridiculous. You can tell that he wants something else. But if you call him out on something, Shy!sub hates confrontations and avoids them at all costs. He would rather keep the peace than engage in an argument, even if it means holding back his true feelings.
Shy!sub is the type of person who's too soft for people like you to handle. He does your chores because he knows you're exhausted from your job or school, and even cooks for you.
Shy!sub enjoys cooking for you, as he sees it as a way to show his love and care for you. He often tries out new recipes, hoping to impress you with his culinary skills. If you point something out or compliment his cooking, be ready to see him almost everyday in your kitchen.
He acts more like a boyfriend than a best friend. One call of his name, and he's dashing towards you like a loyal dog ready to do what you ask. With him basically living with you, Shy!sub can sleep easily. He is afraid of the dark and often sleeps with a nightlight on. He sometimes asks you to sleep with him when he's feeling particularly scared.
Shy!sub never admits this but he secretly loves it when you get angry, as it shows your passionate side. He often provokes you, hoping to see your fiery temper.
When both of you started to have some intimate moments, Shy!sub got even more embarrassed but he never stops trying to tease you with his every move. He basically lives with you now from how much time he spends with you. Everything escalated quickly when you got home and saw him wearing something he normally doesn't wear.
Shy!sub looks so damn adorable in his light bubblegum pink lingerie, but you decided to keep it in your pants and let him explain what he was doing. You could tell he was about to burst out crying when you walked in on him.
—
Shy!sub's eyes widened as he realized you had caught him in his new attire. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and his heart raced, fearing the worst. The lingerie, a gift from a secret admirer, was supposed to be a surprise for You. But now, with you standing in the doorway, the moment had been ruined.
You, on the other hand, couldn't help but admire the way the lingerie hugged Shy!sub's curves, accentuating his hourglass figure. The sight of Shy!sub in such a delicate and feminine ensemble stirred something deep within you—a desire he had never felt before. But he knew the time was not right to act on it.
"It's... it's for you," Shy!sub managed to stutter, his voice trembling. "I wanted to surprise you. I thought you'd like it."
"Wow, I've never thought I would see this coming from you. Someone who is known to be easily embarrassed over everything." You could see the vulnerability in Shy!sub's eyes as you reply to him. It was a rare sight, and it tugged at your heartstrings. You knew Shy!sub's affections ran deep, and you couldn't bear to see him so distressed. So, with a smile, you stepped forward and gently placed a hand on Shy!sub's cheek.
"You look amazing," You said, his voice soft and reassuring. "And I appreciate the thought. But remember, you don't need to do anything to impress me. I love you just the way you are."
Shy!sub let out a shaky breath, relief washing over him. He leaned into your touch, grateful for your understanding. The moment, though awkward, had brought them closer. From that day on, You began to see Shy!sub in a whole new light. Your words and gentle touch calmed Shy!sub's nerves. The tension in the room shifted, and a new energy filled the space. Shy!sub's heart fluttered as your hand lingered on his cheek, your thumb gently caressing Shy!sub's soft skin.
Emboldened by your acceptance, Shy!sub leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a feather-light kiss. It was a tentative move, a test to gauge your reaction. But you responded with a hunger that surprised them both. Your lips met in a passionate kiss, your tongues dancing and exploring each other's mouths. Shy!sub's hands roamed your body, feeling the contours of your muscles through your shirt. Your hands slid down Shy!sub's back, cupping his rear and pulling him closer.
The lingerie, once a source of embarrassment, now became a symbol of their growing desire. The soft fabric rubbed against your body, igniting a fire within you. Shy!sub could feel your arousal pressing against him, and it sent shivers down his spine. His mind were somewhere else as he softly groans in your ears, his mind tells him to beg you to do something more to him.
You both broke the kiss, panting and flushed. Your eyes were dark with desire, and Shy!sub's lips were swollen from your passionate embrace. The room was filled with a palpable tension, a promise of what was to come.
"Darling," Shy!sub whispered, his voice heavy with need. "I want you. I've always wanted you." he whined at the end. You didn't need to be told twice. You scooped Shy!sub into your arms and carried him to the bedroom, which made him more excited.
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Confident!sub, a charming and flirtatious individual, utilizes his natural charisma and wit to captivate those around him. Easily drawing in his audience, he leaves them craving more of his company. His tactics to garner attention, however, are solely to attract the cameras. When it comes to you, his dearest, he's wholly devoted.
His sarcastic nature and high tolerance levels add an alluring challenge to his persona, making him even more magnetic. For you, though, his sarcasm serves as a playful means of aggravation.
Confident!sub is confident in his physicality, maintaining his desirable physique through rigorous workouts. Brands and designers clamor for him to be the face of their new products, well aware of his pickiness when it comes to endorsements.
In his pursuit of physical perfection, Confident!sub adheres to a strict regimen of body care. His routine, from head to toe, takes a full three hours, with shower time not even included. If you need the bathroom while he's in there, you'll have to resort to forceful measures.
During his photoshoots, Confident!sub teases you with his movements and poses. He'll gaze hungrily at you, performing his job with you as his little assistant, always present in the room. If you're absent, his temper flares. So, sad to say that you're always with him in and out.
A possessive streak emerges in Confident!sub when he spots you admiring other models. With him in the room, half-naked and expecting your adoration, he takes offense at your gaze wandering to less attractive individuals. If you curse at him for his tantrums, his anger intensifies, believing you should have been fixated on him.
Confident!sub is unfiltered in his communication, voicing his thoughts at any given moment. Be it day, night, place, or time, he'll share his uncensored musings. With a bored expression, he'll casually mention desires like you satisfying him behind a door post-shoot or gripping his hair. One time while you were having breakfast, he mumbled something about how he dreamed about you pounding him for a photoshoot.
Despite his outward confidence, Confident!sub harbors insecurities deep down. He worries that one day, his looks might fade, and he'll lose the adoration he currently enjoys. So with you having around him, he dares not to let you go. He hates it when you look at other models that he finds intimidating. Whenever you reassure him about his insecurities, expect not getting out of the bedroom for atleast two days.
Confident!sub hates being touched by strangers. He becomes uncomfortable and edgy when people he doesn't know try to touch him. He's only comfortable with you touching him. You should be lucky that someone like him allows you to touch him, his words not mine.
——
After a long and tiring photoshoot, Confident!sub was ready to unwind. With his manager having rented a hotel room for him, he of course invited you to join him, knowing full well what he had in mind. You, aware of Confident!sub's intentions, eagerly accepted the invitation.
In the privacy of the hotel room, Confident!sub wasted no time in expressing his desires. You pinned him against the wall, his hands roaming your body with a hunger that could not be satiated. With you, equally aroused, gripped Confident!sub's hair, pulling him in for a passionate kiss.
Confident!sub's hands slid down to your body, undoing your pants with a swift motion. He wasted no time in freeing his own arousal, rubbing it against yours before he could let you rub against his entrance. With a swift thrust, you entered him, filling him with your length.
The room was filled with the sounds of him screaming your name and the wet sounds. Confident!sub's moans echoed off the walls, a testament to his pleasure. You, gripping onto Confident!sub's hair, praised him for his skill and good looks, encouraging him to continue his plea.
Confident!sub, driven by your words, moving his hips at the same pace as you with a fervor that was almost animalistic. Your hands gripped on his hips, pulling him closer with each thrust. Him, lost in a sea of pleasure, could only hold on for dear life, his moans mingling in the air.
As you both reached your climax, Confident!sub's moans grew louder, your thrusts becoming more erratic. Him, gripping onto you tightly, felt his own release building. With a final thrust, you both reached, your bodies trembling with the force releasing.
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Intimidating!sub, a formidable figure with a history in the military, bears scars on both his face and body. His imposing physique and commanding posture are enough to convey his cold and strict demeanor, deterring others from approaching him. Even children and pets are frightened by his aura.
Despite his chilling exterior, Intimidating!sub has a soft spot for his beloved. At the mere sound of his name, spoken by you, his defenses crumble. He prefers to reserve his genuine smiles for private moments, sharing them only with you.
In terms of protection, Intimidating!sub is unparalleled. His presence alone is enough to deter potential aggressors, as if he were a guard dog watching over you. His menacing appearance suggests he'd defend you with ferocity, ready to "bite" anyone who dares to bother you.
In private, Intimidating!sub reveals a sensitive side. He cries during movies or deep conversations, seeking your comfort. With his head resting on your chest, he finds solace as he weeps, trying to express his feelings or explain the emotions triggered by a film. He's known to shed tears privately if his actions upset a child or pet.
Intimidating!sub is an intellectual powerhouse, capable of answering nearly any query and solving complex mathematical problems in a matter of seconds. He's like a human calculator, with an uncanny ability to memorize information. This makes outings with him effortless, as you need not consult your phone for calculations or searches.
Eager for your affection, Intimidating!sub leans on your shoulder, a subtle request for attention. He demands your love, regardless of your current engagements. If he's bold enough, he'll wake you to share a tender gaze.
Embarrassed by his nocturnal desires, Intimidating!sub awakens from wet dreams, seeking solace in the bathroom. If he gathers the courage, he'll attempt to rouse you, his eyes pleading softly.
——
After Intimidating!sub woke you from your slumber, you noticed the flush on his face, a testament to his embarrassment. A soft whimper escaped his lips, "Please help me with this..." Your eyes followed his gaze downward, where you found his hardened length, throbbing and grinding against the material of his pants.
The sight was too enticing to ignore, and as he offered you a small, tender peck on the cheek, you decided to give in to his desires. You guided his hand to release his length from its prison, letting it spring free. The tip glistened with pre-cum, a clear indication of his arousal.
Intimidating!sub's eyes locked onto yours, pleading for your touch. You obliged, wrapping your hand around his shaft and beginning to stroke him gently. His breathing hitched, his face contorting in pleasure. You teased him, speeding up and slowing down your strokes, drawing out his pleasure.
As you continued, Intimidating!sub's body grew more tense, his hips bucking involuntarily. You could sense his impending release, and you leaned in, taking his length into your mouth. The sensation of your warm, wet mouth enveloping him sent him over the edge.
Intimidating!sub cried out your name, his body trembling as he came. You swallowed his release, showing no signs of discomfort. When you pulled away, he collapsed onto the bed, his body slick with sweat.
You climbed on top of him, straddling his hips, and lowered yourself onto his still-hard shaft. He gasped, his hands gripping your hips as you began to ride him. The intimacy of this moment, with the dominant figure now reduced to the bottom, was intoxicating.
•◦✦────•◦ᘡᘞ •◦────✦◦•◦•
@𝑬𝑼𝑵𝑿𝑯𝑨𝑵. Do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or adapt my work/theme without prior permission and/or confirmation.
#Eun.writes#Eun.asks#male reader#yandere male#yandere scenarios#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere oc#yandere x darling#oc x reader#yandere character#original character#yandere x male darling#yandere x male reader#yandere x you#original character x reader
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I think it would very hilarious actually if 911 kept doubling down on how cool Tommy is- he just does cool things all the time. He rehabilitates wild animals in his free time, he’s an amazing artist and tattoo artist, he can fix or build anything
Except. For one thing. Maybe he cant keep plants alive for anything- or maybe he’s a terrible baker.
Either way people keep asking him for favors or finding out about his cool hobbies and he happily obliges them until someone asks for that one thing- and he tries because he doesnt want to say no- but he fails SO miserably and Evan has to come to the rescue and teases him saying stuff like “so you are human?? Not just a perfect sexy robot??”
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SHORT N’ SWEET ! ⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚
pairings. drew x bambi!reader
warnings. tooth rotting fluff
authors note. I hope you guys like it!🪽Sorry for not updating a lot but I haven’t been super inspired lately and I just decided not to force myself to push stuff out if its not genuine </3
The snow drifted gently outside the windows of bambis brownstone, dusting the building in white, quiet, and peace.
Inside, the air smelled like warm vanilla sugar cookies, the kind that made you feel safe and cozy. Soft candlelights flickered against the walls, casting a sweet golden glow over the room, books like “indiana” and “La muse et l'écrivain” were scattered across a baby blue couch adorned with delicate, lacy pillows.
Ms. Mocha, her new kitty, curled up on one of the pillows closest to the heater, lazily batting at the fraying edges.
"Okay, I’m really freaking excited about this," Bambi said, pulling a pink, glittery panda face mask from the bag. She had pure excitement and mischief in her doe eyes, the one that meant she’d found something utterly ridiculous and she just had to share it with her man who was sprawled under her on the couch, his big hands on her waistline.
To bambi He was the sexiest man alive in that effortless, cool way, but right now, he was looking at the panda mask confused.
“I don’t know, baby,” drew said, rubbing the back of his neck, his voice warm with affection but she could hear the hesitation.
not very cool
bambi laughed, holding it up between her perfectly manicured fingernails. "Come on, it’s so cute—" she pouted at him "Plus, it’s fun. Right Ms. Mocha?"
Drew glanced at the fluffy brown ball , who was still lazily watching them from the pillow. "Mocha s’not impressed." He said playfully rolling his eyes
“First of all it’s Ms. Mocha and second of all, she is impressed! What are you talking about?" Bambi shot back, pushing her pointer finger into his chiseled bare chest. “You promised you’d do whatever to make me happy, right?.”
Drew raised an eyebrow, shifting his gaze to her. “I did, huh?”
Bambi leaned in, grabbing his face and pressed a long chaste kiss to his lips before pulling away. “Yes, you did. Now shut up and let me put this on you.”
Drew chuckled, knowing damn well he’d never really say no to his girl. Not when she looked at him like that, all warm and soft with the dim light playing over her features, rolling his eyes once more before leaning in for another kiss. “Alright, alright. For you, I’ll be a panda tonight.”
Bambi clapped her hands together and let out an excited squeal, it was one of those moments that made Drew’s heart soften in that way only she could do.
“Come on,” she said, already slipping the mask onto his face, “It’s cute! You’ll see.”
Drew closed his eyes and let her take over, she fumbled a little as she pulled the mask over his face, his cheeks getting red with the absurdity of it all when she handed him the baby pink hand mirror. “I look like a—“
"Sexy panda!" she said, voice muffled and amused “you look like a sexy panda” Bambi laughed
Drew caught her eyes, and despite the embarrassment of the moment, he couldn’t help but smile.
She looked so cute with the white-pink mask and the way her eyes sparkled even through the fabric. “dream girl” he thought
Her long silky hair was up in a sparkly claw clip after being tousled and wild from a long day of filming, in this quiet little bubble of time, with the snow falling softly outside and Ms. Mocha purring beside them, drew couldn’t think of anywhere else he’d rather be.
“So,” he said, settling further into the couch, letting his head rest on one of the cozy pillows, “how to lose a man in 10 days?”
“Duh” Bambi slipped off his lap and grabbed the remote. "I can’t believe you’ve never watched it”
They settled in together, Ms. Mocha curling up between the two
Bambi snuggled closer as the opening credits of the movie began to roll, “I love you,” she said kissing his bicep that was secure around her shoulder and neck
Drew threaded their fingers together “I love you more bambi ”
© fawnhart
#works!⟡࿔*:・゚#bambi!reader✦ •ִ ᜔.#drew starkey#drew starkey imagine#rafe#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#aesthetic#drew starkey x female reader#drew starkey x y/n#drew starkey x reader#joseph andrew starkey
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Waezi2′s thoughts on “Beast Complex” chapter 25
So, I know we were all disgusted by the freak South who dated a lizard who was the same species as him(ewww). So I am happy to tell you all that we are going back to some good ol' freaky furry romance.
Better yet, this chapter is about Haru and Legosi!
The main couple of Beastars now practically live together since their universities are pretty close to each other. Haru is doing her third year in college and Legosi, now with a clean criminal record, is doing his first year in college, studying entomology.
Good for you, Legosi :) It is never too late to get back to school!
So, the wolf and the rabbit has been together for three years now and (for the most part) live together. You know what that means...
Oh yeah! They sleep together!
... In separate beds! There is no sex whatsoever!
Haru asks the same question as the rest of us: HOW?!?!?
Well, the first night Haru spent at Legosi's place, the ussual happened:
Like most wolves, Legosi makes small bites when he gets overly exited. Haru didn't get hurt, she got a scratch behind her ear, it's not the end of the world.
But afterwards, their relationship has been... well, casual.
There is no sexy atmosphere between them since the biting incident. They still spend their free time together, but it is almost like they are a middle-aged married couple where they brush their teeth together and everyday stuff like that. It bothers Haru a great deal since she is a college girl and it makes her feel old, makes the two of them feel old. She would like to get wild while she is still young... But to be fair, don't you think you had plenty of fun already, Haru?
I'm not slut-shaming or anything, just saying.
Anyways, Haru contacts Juno. Yep, everyone's favorite queen wolf is back!
Two things I noticed is that Haru now calls her "chan", implying a bit more friendly relationship between the two of them. Second is that even though Juno is here to give Haru input and advise about wolves, we don't get to learn anything about what her life is like right now.
YOU ARE KILLING ME, PARU!!! YOU ARE TORTURING ME SPECIFICALLY BY NOT LETTING US LEARN WHAT HER LIFE POST-LOUIS IS LIKE!
As I was saying, Haru wants Juno to give her advice to kick Legosi's wolf instincts into high gear. Juno is unsure if that's such a great idea(no duh!) but share what would normally make a male wolf... excited.
There is just one problem... Legosi is... well, Legosi.
He is a terrible mix of extremely polite, concerned and dense.
Nothing Haru does triggers Legosi, he misreads the signals completely and Haru starts to wonder if they have simply lost their spark.
Then, one night as Haru goes to bed disappointed that she haven't unleashed the beast so to say, she sees that Legosi is awake.
It's full moon, and Legosi can't help it but to stay up and watch it. Even if it is bogus that the moon should somehow affect wolves, Legosi and his fellow canines are still emotionally attached to it. Haru says she can relate to this to some degree, probably because rabbits have a religious connection to the moon.
This is possibly the first thing their species have in common. So the two of them goes for a late night/early morning stroll, enjoying the beautiful moon.
The two of them just enjoy each other's company, it's nice and quiet. They are not tired from class or trying to study or doing everyday tasks, meaning they can actually connect on a emotional level.
And then we get the twist:
As stated earlier, Legosi accidentally scratched Haru's ear when he got "excited" and Haru assumed it killed the vibe between them. But this seems to imply that he was waiting for the wound to heal completely.
Or maybe it is because they are both relaxed that Legosi feels less anxious.
Either way, they don't spend this night in separate beds.
I'm gonna be honest, it was not the best Haru x Legosi story I read, I would have liked a bit more of the classic Paru insanity. But I very much enjoyed it, and this specific story shouldn't have that much crazy because it is about the lack of insanity in the wolf and rabbit's life. We get to see that Legosi can finally get a real career and even achieve his dream of working with insects and how much they have evolved as an actual couple, not just furry angst and tension between the rabbit and wolf. It also feels like Paru is ending Beast Complex for real this time to focus more on her other projects, and if that's the case then this was a nice way to end it.
I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.
#beastars#beast complex#haru x legosi#haru#legoshi x haru#legosi x haru#haru beastars#legoshi#legosi#juno#itagaki paru#paru itagaki#paru
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i have a lot to say about this one so pack a snack and let's make sex moneyyy
i think this is one of the most openly culture and media (and social media) critical songs he has. i think it's a super daring song that probably makes the likes of certain helsingin sanomat music critics a little bit uncomfortable, because he is spitting facts - and because he has a relationship with sex for show that people for some reason are still quite weird about.
to start a little further back: we all know sex sells. we all know the music industry uses sex to sell their products. but for some reason, in the year of our lord 2024, a musical artist verbally recognising that they are using their sexuality and sexual themes to build their brand is somehow scandalous. it's like.. it's okay to use sex to sell your art, if it's like "accidental" MTV sexuality or like agreeing to looking objectifiable. the media will call you hot and sexy and wow. but if you own your sexuality, make it obvious that yes this is sexual, i'm being very deliberately sexual and i am trying to be sexual..? oh no that won't do! scandal! we've seen it with so many artists, especially female artists. like WAP is a great example! how scandalous that suddenly these women had agency in their own sexuality! but no-one said a word when their sexuality served the usual male gaze agenda. it's like people are so much more comfortable being peeping toms who sexualise and objectify artists when they're not looking, but as soon as the artist does it as part of their whole thing? well now it's inappropriate actually.
he talked about this in a helsingin sanomat interview, saying how he does actually think things revolve too much around sex in the music industry, even though he uses sex and sexual themes himself to sell things as well, and that he sees the irony in saying that. but the difference, in my opinion, is that the way he, or someone like erika vikman for example, is so open and upfront about the sexual themes, that it becomes carnevalistic, it becomes camp. it's not insidiously using sexual and heteronormative objectifying imagery to get people horny. what käärijä does is playful and fun sexuality, and for whatever reason that is so unusual it needs to be talked about separately as something a bit wild and scandalous, and he needs to be asked to explain his actions.
and that's what this song is. he's very clearly saying none of this is accidental. the visuals of his brand, the social media content, the onlyfans thing, none of it is coincidental, accidental or anything other than his perfectly deliberate way of selling sex. and he has talked about these themes before, he has talked about like the rammstein live stuff that inspired him (some of it is pretty hardcore stuff) so to his fans it's nothing surprising that sexual themes are present in the brand and interest him. but he has also talked about how, even if this song is a bit tongue in cheek, he's also serious. and he is right. and for some reason calling people out about the fact that sex makes them buy things, even when it's true, is still.. scandalous somehow.
and he's basically calling people easy lmao. like, i needed to figure out a lil boost to my career and well, i know what will make you throw money at me. and i won't be shy about it either.
i'm getting sidetracked. the song.
and then that is enough to warrant lyrics such as "koko perheen käärijästä koko perheen krapula" meaning "käärijä for the whole family turning into a hangover for the whole family".
but it was all already there! let's not for a second pretend CCC was some sort of family show and a family song. it's not. but people were okay with that, because they could happily confuse the camp and carnevalistic sexuality of käärijä with the campness and carnevalistic nature of eurovision, and because it wasn't more than the suggestive sexual nature of everything else around them. and it was all just fun, when kids came up with their own lyrics to the song because they couldn't understand the references to drinking. so then people took their kids to see him at shows and became scandalised by the adult nature of it all. it's like.. people were fine letting their kids see the everyday media sexuality that we see in every eurovision, fine letting their kids get used to that, and then just sort of didn't think käärijä would be anything different. but he's only different in that in his show and brand, sex and sexuality aren't denied while still blatantly obviously there.
but again, a lot of this is to do with media, and what media normalises and what it doesn't. what it deems newsworthy and what it doesn't.
if in ready to go he's telling haters that i know you want to see me try and fail, maybe even be too embarrassed to try, but baby i'm ready to go, then in sex = money he's saying i know you want to see me naked and i know you want sex from all of this, so here you go, i'll sell you some sex. and then he stands there holding eye contact like what are you going to do with it. what a cunty king.
and there are so many fun and funny little details in this song.
right in the first verse we have "kieli taittuu sköödi föödi." good old sköödi föödi. i tried to find the earliest example of sköödi föödi, but i'm starting to think it might predate the internet, or at least social media. not to bring up köpi kallio again, but they use sköödi föödi a lot in viki ja köpi show, and köpi just happened to tweet about it in 2020, saying he believes sköödi föödi has been around for at least 20 years (someone tried to credit viki and köpi for it). so, what does sköödi föödi mean, you ask. it does not mean anything at all. sköödi föödi is just a sound, a noise you make, when you need it, usually in place of something in a foreign language but not exclusively. in this instance, sköödi föödi is him demonstrating his excellent english skills. sköödi föödi (pronounced almost like a sterotypical tv american would say skirdy-firdy) means nothing and it means everything, whatever you need it to mean.
it is also noteworthy to point out that "kieli taittuu" can be a reference to two different things here. the finnish word kieli means both tongue and language. so he could also be saying that he has a very bendy and flexible tongue, like literally. which, of course, all of europe has already seen. taittua literally means to fold or bend, but it's a common phrase to say, that if you can do something, you bend it (or more like it bends as a result). so literally the line translates to "language/tongue bends sköödi föödi".
the first verse ends in "sekö jos mikä on varma nakki" meaning "that, if anything, is a sure thing". nakki literally means a sausage, a hot dog sausage, weiner sausage, you name it: a small sausage. so translating literally: "that if anything is a sure sausage". it's a common phrase in spoken finnish, nothing unusual about that, but i love that he used it, because it makes the next line hilarious on a first listen, when the chant comes in. so when they start chanting NAK- NAK- i really thought they were gonna shout NAKKI. but no, it is nakuna, naked.
okay still with me? good. let's look at the "tein onlyfans bägin, koko suomen daddy" section next.
i remember when the song came out, people did explain who danny is, but in case anyone missed it, danny is a singer from finland, and he was a MASSIVE star back in the day, especially in the 70's. so to say he is bigger than danny is indeed quite the flex, because danny was like.. the finnish equivalent of elvis, basically. but danny is not just a flex, he turns danny into a clever thematical scheme here (more on thematical schemes in the bananas post, if you're interested). he says "kadulla on kuumaa, ne pyytää mua hätiin" and this is a reference to one of danny's most popular and famous songs, kesäkatu. smart, smart, smart! and then of course "kadulla on puumaa, mut mulla on jo täti" meaning there are cougars on the street, but i already have an aunt. which, that to me reads like both a cunty quip and a himbo line all at once. like shutting down some man wanting to be your daddy by telling him "but i already have a father". i nearly choked laughing the first time i heard the line.
also can i just say, calling himself the daddy of finland? like, thinking about the whole context i talked about at first, how people are comfortable with sexual stuff and sexualising, but not comfortable recognising it or being real about it or celebrating it? yeah knowing all that, he just called himself EVERYONE'S daddy in a song called sex = money, and he's not even wrong 😭
in conclusion: i love this song. and i love the attitude in it. it's like he is looking everyone, from every uncomfortable insecure hetero man, every scandalised parent to every tabloid journalist, straight in the eye and saying "yes, i'm selling sex. why? well i couldn't think of anything else, but then again, why should i? isn't this what you want? this is what you want. i know what you want. i'm your daddy."
like if he truly wanted to, he really could have this country on their knees for him, don't tell me last independence day didn't prove it. as much as he gets crap as well, at the end of the day, he has people under a spell by simply being, well, bigger than danny. and he-man.
now. the placement of the song on the album, right after autiomaa.
i personally don't think that the album builds one cohesive narrative from beginning to end. but i think this can be read two ways: a sad way and an empowering way. the sad way to read it is that he means it when he says he couldn't come up with anything else and his creativity is fried, but sex sells so he does that, and it's a bit mindless. but given the context of what he has had to say about this song, i'm more inclined to read this the empowering way: he has worked on himself and found a way to see things more clearly, and he has found it in himself to even be confrontational about things. the whiplash of the song order i think is more to highlight the fact that autiomaa is a rare glimpse into something different, and now here we go again. to me, sex = money makes autiomaa even more powerful, but autiomaa doesn't change the interpretation of sex = money all that much for me.
you really can't be upset about the song without proving his point. and you can't love the song without proving his point. facts have been spat and points have been proven. absolute king behaviour.
and if you read through this whole thing, i owe you money. cash money, not sex money. well, we'll talk about it.
++
bonus: i absolutely love that he knows how to say "make some noise" on this track, but continues to say "give me some voice" or some sort of a hybrid word between voice and noise, something like.. woise, at his international shows. the king of in through one ear, out through the other. he, she, noise, voice, he doesn't know the differences and does not care.
bonus bonus for the sad bojere bitches:
second verse: "täl alal ei sua kukaa huomaa" meaning "nobody will notice you in this field (of work)". maybe my brain is rotted but this moment reminds me so much of the famous liverpool bojere lunch date video where bojan tries to parrot jere, who is saying "tääl ollaa nyt, tota" and bojan goes "talalaiteta" and then they both proceed to giggle about it like it's the funniest thing anyone has ever said. "täl alal" goes out to you, bojan titanic.
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Kink List With Jack Hughes
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
He's very gentle and considerate. He makes sure you are comfortable and satisfied before, during, and after. He's also open and communicative, so if there are any issues or things either of you would like to change, you can discuss them openly without judgement.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His favorite body part of his is his legs. They're long and strong, and He always gets compliments on them. When it comes to you, he really enjoys a sexy and curvy figure, he likes how it fills out clothing in an attractive way. He appreciates the softness of your curves and the shape provided. He also likes how curves create a sense of sensuality that can be very enticing.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
On your breasts - particularly there's something so satisfying to him about cumming on your boobs. He loves how they squish and jiggle as his load lands on them.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He would find it extremely sexy seeing you wearing his jersey would make him feel like you’re his in a very intimate way. It’s like saying, “I’m yours, and you’re mine.” It’s a visual representation of your connection and would be a huge turn-on for him.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
I would say he's fairly experienced. He's had a few relationships over the years and has experimented with different things over time. He knows that he's not an expert, but I think he knows enough to be confident in his abilities.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
Doggy style - There's something incredibly hot about having complete access to your body while being able to watch you squirm with pleasure.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
I'd say he swings both ways. When things are serious and intense with you, he can be very earnest and passionate. But he also likes to lighten the mood by making jokes or teasing you in a playful way. He's definitely more relaxed when things are lighthearted, but can switch into a more serious mode quickly.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
He's definitely well-groomed, but whether the carpet matches the drapes is up to interpretation. Some people might say yes, and some might say no. I'll leave it up to your imagination.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
When it comes to the romantic aspect of sex, he's definitely a bit of a hopeless romantic. He likes to be passionate and sensual, treating every moment together with you as something special. He enjoys the intimacy of looking into each other's eyes, stroking your hair, and kissing your lips. It's all about expressing his feelings and creating a connection with my partner that goes beyond physical gratification.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
Depends on how long he has to spare. If he's got a bit of free time during the day, he might masturbate twice or even three times. And if he's really feeling really horny or stressed out, he might even do it four or five times in a single session. But on average, I'd say he cums around two to three times a day.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
For starters, he is into rough play – bondage, spankings, and all sorts of kinky stuff. He loves it when someone is helpless under his control.
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
He's partial to the bedroom, but there’s something about being out in the wild that’s really exciting. It’s a thrill to know that you might be caught at any moment, and have to be quick and discreet. He also loves hotels or vacation rentals with a nice view of the city. It’s really luxurious and adds an element of luxury to the experience especially up against a window.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
There are many things that turn him on, but physical touch is one of his weaknesses. He loves it when you run your hands along his skin or lightly caress his neck. There's also something really erotic about watching you slowly undress before him. The anticipation and the thought of what might come next sets his body on fire.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He wouldn't do anything that made you uncomfortable or felt pressured into doing. He also wouldn't do anything that he wasn't comfortable with himself.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
He usually prefers to give rather than receive, but he also likes to switch it up and receive occasionally. He thinks there's something incredibly pleasing about pleasing his partner. But there's also a lot of joy that comes from being pampered and treated to something special.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
It depends on the situation and your desires at the moment. He can be fast and rough if the moment calls for it, but he's also skilled at taking things slow and making sure both of you are thoroughly satisfied. He can be very sensual and passionate when the time is right, too. He likes to switch up his style to keep things exciting and give both of you what you need in that moment.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Let's just say that when the mood strikes him, he doesn't hesitate to take advantage of it. Maybe two or three times a week, if everything lines up perfectly for you both.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
He loves trying new things in the bedroom (or wherever it ends up getting down) and pushing limits. He's always up for experimenting with different positions, toys, kinks, and fetishes. He can even be talked into some risky behavior from time to time, just for the thrill of it.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
He can definitely hold his own when it comes to endurance during sex. He's been known to go for multiple rounds without breaking a sweat. In fact, sometimes he'll intentionally push himself to the limit just to see how long he can last. It usually takes him a few minutes to recover before he's ready for another round. So yeah, I'd say he's pretty damn good at going the distance. But honestly, it's not about how many times he can cum or how long he can last – it's about giving you an unforgettable experience that leaves you completely satisfied (and maybe even a little bit exhausted).
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Yes, he does own toys. He has a few vibrators and a couple of other things. He uses them on himself when away from you and on you when he's in the mood, he doesn't want to get too reliant on them. He would rather connect with you with just your bodies.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He loves teasing. It's fun to play the game, to build up the tension, and then to pay off the tension with an amazing release. He especially likes to tease you and to watch you go crazy with anticipation.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
He can be quite loud, but he's not obnoxiously loud. He prefers loud, heavy breathing, passionate kissing, soft moans, dirty talking, and grunts.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
He doesn't mind taking charge or being dominated either. In fact, he kind of loves it when someone can keep up with him and makes him lose control. And if you have any kinky fantasies you wanted to try out, he's more than happy to oblige. So go ahead, tell him your dirtiest, most depraved desires.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Quite large, standing at about 8 inches long when fully erect. The shaft is muscular and veiny, with defined bulges along its length that hint at my intense stamina.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
I'd say he has a pretty high sex drive - He's pretty much always up for some fun and can get pretty enthusiastic and passionate when the moment arises. Sometimes he might need a bit of a warm-up, but once he's in the mood, he's ready to go.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He can fall asleep quite quickly after intimacy, usually within a few minutes. However, if you tend to stay awake for a little longer. You'll cuddle and enjoy the warmth of your bodies until you fall asleep too.
#jack hughes#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes x y/n#jack hughes x you#new jersey devils#nhl smut#nhl fic#nhl x reader#nhl#kink list
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Kit Walker’s NSFW alphabet
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
An angel. He will immediately check on you, ask if you're okay or if anything hurts, he'll help you clean up, get you water, all that jazz. Very, very sweet.
B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)
He likes his hair! Loves how soft it is and how it feels when you grab his hair. On you he loves everything about your body, but mostly your boobs and neck, he enjoys leaving hickeys on them.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)
He loves cumming inside you, but also on your stomach and thighs.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Kit actually doesn’t have secrets with you, he just tells you everything most of the times because he trust you more than himself.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
He’s experienced in the basic sex stuff but with you he’s open to try new things.
F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)
Literally any position where he can see your face. Missionary, Spread Eagle, and Cowgirl remain his top three though.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)
Most of the times he’s focused on the act but he can be goofy sometimes.
H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He’s cleaned down there, the carpet matches the drapes.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)
He gives you kisses all the time and always makes sure you know he loves you, he loves cuddling with you.
J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)
Why would he? He has you, but still does it occasionally when you’re not around and he’s feeling needy.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
PRAISE! Lots and lots of it. Soft kisses, and a little biting.
L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
Your bedroom,he thinks it's the most safe place.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
You wearing something sexy and bending down infront of him to get "something" makes him hard.
N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He won't hurt you, he would feel bad and turned off.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Prefers giving and seeing all the faces you make and all the noises that escape even when you try to hold them back.
Won't say no to receiving though. Something about the way you look up at him strikes a cord in him.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
He's slow he doesn't want to hurt you and he prefers it that way.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Doesn't mind quickies. Prefers doing it slow and romantic, but if the urge hits him he’ll surely do a quickie.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)
Gets nervous when you're doing something that's on the more risky side, but won't mind anything if it's what you really want.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
He can go for quite a while. He's capable of going about 3-5 rounds before he's ready to tap out.
T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Doesn't own any but would jump around at the opportunity to use them on you.
U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)
He rarely teases you. He's all about getting straight to the point, as sensually as he can.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Whimpers, quiet moans and stuff.
W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)
He wants to have two or more kids with you but he’s afraid of introducing the subject yet. He just hopes that one day you’ll come to him with the beautiful news of your pregnancy.
X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
It's a 7 incher not too thick.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
He’s about a 7/10. Most of the times he’s just romantic.
Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)
Waits until you are comfortable, but you both usually fall asleep at about the same time.
#kit walker#evan peters#american horror story#fanfic#ahs fanfic#headcanon#kit walker x reader#kit walker x y/n#kit walker smut#american horror story asylum#ahs fandom#ahs asylum#evan peters imagine#y/n
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WOOYOUNG NSFW ALPHABET
A - Aftercare (how is he after sex)
Wooyoung is a sweetheart and we know it, he will ask you if you need anything and he'll caress your hair while you're falling asleep together.
B- Bodypart (his favourite bodypart on you)
Your eyes. He goes crazy for those eyes, wether they look up at him innocently or if they're filled with lust, everything's sexy to him.
C - Cum (anything to do with cum)
He probably loves to cum on your body, preferably your chest (he might even lick it off)
D - Dirty secret (his dirty secret)
Wooyoung isn't very secretive about his dirty fantasies, he doesn't mind telling you at all, but he hasn't told you yet about the time he used your panties to jerk off on tour-
E - Experience (how experienced is he?)
Wooyoung is fairly experienced I think, he definitely knows how to play and what to do/not to do.
F - Favourite position
Missionary because he gets off on the expressions on your face, but also loves doggy style mirror sex.
G - Goofy (how he acts in the moment?)
He might be a bit goofy sometimes but not often, he's more of a smirking/teasing kind of guy.
H - Hair (how groomed is he?)
I think he's well groomed, he has some hair there because he's too lazy to shave all off and he probably thinks it's annoying but he makes sure to keep it neat and clean for you.
I - Intimacy (how passionate is he?)
Oh this man can get really intimate and passionate. You might forget because of his teasing and bratty persona but when you're alone he'll become more serious and really affectionate to you.
J - Jack off (how often does he masturbate?)
Probably 4-5 times a week but don't be surprised if it's more than that.
K - Kink
He probably enjoys a little bit of pain play because he loves to bite, he might enjoy spanking, but the biggest kink of all... *drum roll* DEGRADING KINK. (This man loves being degraded and we all know it like... he literally confessed it a thousand times).
L - Location (what's his favourite place to have sex?)
Everywhere around the house honestly, also loves it when you come blow him inbetween dance practices.
M - Motivation (what keeps him going?)
The pleasure expressions on your face do it for him.
N - NO (what is a no-go for him/turn-offs?)
I don't think he'll do role play in bed? It's not something he really hates or anything but he doesn't wanna make it an act, he just wants it to be reality between you two (does that make sense?).
O - Oral (giving or receiving, skill etc.)
He's more on the receiving side I think, but he'll make sure to give you your turn too, but he might use his hands more than his mouth (that doesn't mean he won't tho🤪).
P - Pace (fast and rough? slow and sensual?)
I see him as more of a fast&rough kind of guy cause he has no patience and he loves the chaos.
Q - Quickie (their opinion on quickies)
Loves quickies, he'll literally do anything to get in your pants at any place, any time.
R - Risk (experiments, taking risks etc.)
We know him. He loves this kind of shit. He'll gladly experiment with different kinks, will come up with new positions and would get kicks out of doing stuff at places he'll be caught (not like illegally but like...with members etc.)
S - Stamina (how long does he last?)
He lasts for about 2-3 rounds I think? Might need you to be on top for the 3rd round.
T - Toys (do they own toys? does he use them with his partner or himself?)
He doesn't mind toys at all. I don't think he owns them but he'll use it with you if you want to.
U - Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)
I don't even need to elaborate on how much of a tease this guy actually is. He'll play with your mind and body and make you go crazy before actually giving in and do something about what's going on between your legs.
V - Volume (how loud are they? what sounds do they make?)
Wooyoung is a loud mf and he will be in bed too. Loud moans, whines, any sound, honestly.
W - Wild Card (random headcanon)
Before you knew it Wooyoung had shoved you inside some sort of broom closet. His lips were all over your neck as his fingers unbuttoned your pants and slid into your underwear. "Wooyoung we gotta go back to your practice room, they'll come find us," you moaned as he played with your slick. "Then they'll find us. Gotta make my precious cum first."
X - X-Ray (what's going on in them pants?)
Probably average, more thick and girthy than it is long and probably has those sexy veins of his run along the shaft.
Y - Yearning (how high is their sexdrive?)
HIGH sexdrive. Like he can do it any day. Multiple times.
Z - ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards?)
He won't pass out until he knows you're all good. He'll wanna sleep with you in his arms tho.
Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @1-800-shedevil @mjyungi @bratty-tingz @sugarnspice630
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Since I'm being Riddler this year for Halloween it made me think uhhhhh how would the Riddlers react to reader wearing their outfit? Also love your writing btw Finnie :>💚
Wearing Their Outfit
Riddler Headcanons AH thank you lil bug!! and a happy halloween everyone but especially everyone who is dressing up as the riddler in one capacity or another 💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: some suggestive stuff, nothing explicit i don't... think
arkham
regardless of which outfit you steal from him, the suit, the sweater vest, or the ratty vest and shirt combo he's gonna be annoyed. quite annoyed actually
you're sullying them! you don't deserve to wear them! what if people mistake you for him? he can't have that kind of damage to his reputation
so you better remove them, right now. and he doesn't care if you're then left naked and embarrassed, that's your problem. and it'll serve nice as an apology to him to get to see you in that state
zero year
he gets what you were going for, imitation is after all the greatest form of flattery and he can't deny that he deserves all the compliments in the world
but this is the wrwong way to please him, because here you are putting on more clothes, when he would rather you remove all clothes
the hat, however... that can stay on actually. you might have to hold on to it though, because he can't guarantee he'll be gentle with you
unburied
one of the very few times he has ever felt genuine adoration for you outside of his dry, sarcastic way of showing affection was when you borrowed his sweater
the one barbara gave him to wear, stained with his blood, torn and ripped and damaged, but a comfort item for him
and to see you all cosy and wrapped up in it, he can't help but consider that you might even be cuter than he is. but only just!
btas
that hat suits you but his shirt is a little big. doesn't matter though, because for first time in his life he's confused! he doesn't really know what to do
first of all, it seems to strange that something can be cute and sexy at the same time? you can't make his heart skip a beat and his cock hard at the same time, surely?
well, if anyone can, it's you. but that begs the question: what does he do next? smoosh your cheeks together? or... bend you over and clap the other set of cheeks?
dano
he'd lose his god damn mind, regardless of what you have underneath that coat, because his imagination is already running wild
just think how delightful it would be to peel back that mask while he was inside of you, revealing your face in pure ecstacy
even better if you were splattered in the blood of his enemies, but hey he's not going to be picky. the jacket and the boots are plenty
twojar
oh fuck yeah, because here's the thing about that outfit: the shirt isn't unbuttoned, it just doesn't have buttons
which means if you're wearing it he's getting a solid look at your chest, always a positive for him because getting to see any part of your body makes his day
but it proves a bit distracting for him while he's working on his overthrow of joker, so contrary to his desires, you might need to cover up
gotham
can we stay with sweet eddie? season 1 eddie? losing his mind over walking in on you in one of the labs wearing his lab coat, some rubber gloves, and his spare glasses?
the blushing, the flustered stuttering as he tries to ask what you're doing, knowing full well exactly what your intentions are but still finding it hard to believe
because how could this possibly be real? since this is exactly the same thing he dreamed about the ight before. and the night before that. and the night before that. and the night...
#finnie writes#riddler x reader#riddler x you#riddler headcanon#riddler scenario#gotham riddler#arkham riddler#dano riddler#zero year riddler#batman unburied riddler#bu riddler#twojar riddler#riddler#the riddler#btas riddler
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NSFW ALPHABET- KYOJURO RENGOKU
Author's note: It will probably take a while for me to finish this, but I really wanted to try writing some NSFW content. If you are minor, please don't continue reading this.(I warned you) English isn't my first language, so I apologise if I make any mistakes<3
NSFW ALPHABET- KYOJURO RENGOKU
Cw: 18+ NSFW, kinks, anything that has to do with sex, fem!reader, roleplay and more.
Hope you enjoy!<3
Aftercare: what he's like after sex
Kyo is the type of guy who puts your safety and pleasure before his. After doing it, (probably for 4-5 rounds) he will surely carry you to the bathroom, cleaning you and getting you perfectly dressed up. He doesn't mind if he's cock is still leaking juices or if he's tired. You are his one and only priority. After making sure you are alright and comfortable, he falls into a deep sleep while hugging you.
Body part: his favourite body part(s)
To be honest, he's in love with every part in your body. If he HAD to choose one, it will probably be your collarbone. He loves kissing you there, leaving marks, scars and hickes. Marking you as his property can be considered as his everyday routine. He also enjoys licking you all over, till you can't take it anymore.
Cum: anything to do with cum
He cums A LOT and EVERYWHERE. He says he can't keep hold of himself, since you feel so good. He can reach multiple orgasms. Again, he puts you before himself. When you are close, he is trying his best to make you cum. Fingering you faster, breeding you faster, using a sex toy.. anything for you. He loves it when you both reach your climax together.
Dirty secret: a dirty secret of his
Since you both met, he has been stealing your stuff and uses them to pleasure himself. It drives him crazy how you can have such a pleasurable and sweet scent and eventually, all your stuff smell like you. He can steal literally anything. From t-shirts, to perfume, to even your favourite pillow. 'Till today he doesn't have the courage to admit he's the one making your stuff mysteriously "disappear".
Experience: how experienced he is in sexual activity
One answer. Zero experience. You took eachother's first time and you both were glad about it. He likes trying new things in bed, and more specifically wild things. He once requested if you could try out ALL the positions in one night. That man's stamina is unbelievable.
Favourite position: favourite sex position
Doggy style. That man can go forever in that position. The way he can feel your insides, squeezing you all over, hitting in your g spot like crazy. Although he enjoys doggy style, he also likes reverse cow girl. When you asked him why to try out that position, he simply answered that he can have a really nice view of your ass, while you ride him so good. For you, it wasn't as enjoyable since you could only see his feet.. but making that man happy and satisfied is your number one goal.
Goofy: is he humourous while doing it
In his everyday life, Kyo is a very humourous and goofy. During your alone time, he can be as serious as ever. He doesn't like making jokes when you both make love. He finds it kinda disrespectful.
Hair: how well groomed he is
He doesn't pay any attention on himself while doing it. His looks don't matter. Also in his point of you, are always looking as sexy as ever.
Intimacy: how is he during sex
Kyo during sex, is way more gentle than usual. He will do whatever you ask him to do. He ain't going to push you doing something you don't like, as well as, he ALWAYS uses protection. He's also making sure you are comfortable and satisfied with the way he does you.
Jack off: anything with masturbation
He masturbates once or twice a week. To be honest, he can go without doing it for months. Honestly, he believes it's better to make love to you, than going solo.
Kink: one or more of his kinks
Breeding kink, degrading, and of course daddy kink. When it comes to you fucking, he can't control himself. He also enjoys it when you beg for him to either stop or go faster.
Location: favourite place to do it
Literally EVERYWHERE. Bedroom, bathroom, kitchen table, in the spa, in an isolated room, in master Ubuyashiki's mansion. For Rengoku, it's doesn't matter where you both do it. As a gentleman he is, your pleasure is beyond all.
Motivation: what turns him on
For this man, when you're wearing tight shorts it drives him nuts. He gets so turned on that he can't control the bulge in his pants. When you are offering your help, of course he accepts it and let you do the work. When he reaches his climax, he's making sure its your turn.
NO: something they wouldn't do
Fucking without protection. He can't get himself to do it, even though you have asked for a creampie before. He believes that you should only do it when you are both ready to start family. He surely is a gentleman.
Oral: preference in giving or receiving
Definitely giving. I mean, he couldn't mind if you want to give him head, but he's mostly the type of guy to do you first. His tongue licking you all over, sucking your clit while putting a finger inside you. You surely gave him head after that.
Pace: is he fast and rough, or slow and sensual
He doesn't have a preference. It's mostly according to his mood at the time. If you are having some alone time and you ask him to do you, he will go slow and cutely.. BUT, when he's turned on it's game over.
Quickie(s): his opinion on it rather than proper sex
He hates it. He can't understand the reason it even exists. And no, we wouldn't try it at all.
Risk: does he take any risks while doing it
Having sex with you in public, is the biggest risk he has ever taken. Trying to take you all, while begging you to keep your voice down. Once, he fucked you in a public spa.. If he could rate the experience, he could put 11/10.
Stamina: how many rounds can he last
This man can go forever. For him it's usual to do it for about 4-5 rounds. He can keep it up, until you both pass out. Don't worry, he gives you aftercare after all that.
Toy(s): does he use toys
He isn't a big fun of them. I mean, he can use them to please you, but not really to do himself. Sometimes he gets jealous watching you getting excited from a dildo and not his cock. You can understand what's happening after that...
Unfair: how much does he like teasing you
A FUCKING LOT. This man want to hear you scream, whimper, whine and beg for him. He won't stop teasing you 'till you're begging and crying for his attention and affection. In the end, he gives in and claims you as his.
Volume: how loud he is
Again, it's according to his mood. He can both stay quiet and keep praising you, as well as, being loud as fuck. When you're both having a good time, he mostly tries to hide that he wants to moan too. He's embarrassed of you finding out he can also be a submissive.
Wildcard: random headcanon about the character
In my opinion, it should be canon that he keeps himself awake all night after sex. Not because he's afraid of something, but mostly because he wants to make sure you are actually doing fine. For example, he didn't hurt you while fucking, or he didn't push you off your limits. Also, I can imagine him being a sweety during it.
X-Ray: his yk size
Probably around 10-12 inches. Medium length which can surely satisfy you.
Yearning: his sex drive
He has a medium sex drive. AGAIN it's according to his and your mood. He won't push you on doing anything, until you are both ready.
Zzz: how quickly he falls asleep after sex
He won't sleep until you do. As the top in the relationship, he cares more about you and your health more than anything. There is no exception of him falling asleep before you.
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It actually only took me 2 days to end this💀 I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT AND I'M FREE FOR ANY REQUESTS!!! <333
Take care everyone<3
#demon slayer x y/n#demon slayer kimetsu no yaiba#rengoku kyojuro#rengoku x reader#demon slayer x female reader#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba
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☕how the writers delt with river song
SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP THEY DID MY GIRL SO DIRTY there are so many. good river song moments. and there are so manythat make me want to tear a strip off steven moffat like every goddamn episode with her they have to make some obnoxious sex joke or some Honey Im Home type shit & i understand this is like. A Moffat Theme & i dont always hate it but goddddd its so reductive like there is so much!!!! that could be done with her character !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is overshadowed by haha what if she was sexy like STOPPPPPPPPPPPP.
like silence in the library was a really good character lead in & i like her!!! as a character !!!! even the overly flirtatiousness unfortunately that would work on me but even aside from that. she is a good character let down but the sheer pull-it-out-of-your-ass writing of her backstory. like?? she could regenerate cos she was conceived in the tardis okay thats really cool much weirder stuff has happened when it comes to tardises & making babies but then WE SeE THIS FOR LIKE. ONE OR TWO EPISODES BEFORE THEYRE LIKE WHOOPS THAT DOESNT WORK ACTUALLY COS SHE'S DEAD UHHH SHE BETTER UHMM IDK SAVE TH E DOCTOR OR SOMETHING WHATEVER> COS HER ENTIRE LIFE HAS TO REVOLVE AROUND HIM. HASHTAG MARRIAGE AMIRITE like even the fact that her entire life was shaped around him isnt a Bad Idea it just feels like no one considered the tragic impies (implications) of this, & simultaneously doing amy so dirty in the process as well like??? she loses baby mels & then discovers she was her (never previously mentioned) childhood friend but then she uhhhh dies & turns into this woman you already know and them????? barely eveer mention it again???? holy shit?????????????????????? amy & river is a freaking horror story but one that the writers seem imcapable of dealing with because sOMEONE is too busy making obnoxious jokes about married life
a lot of thsi is specific to the General Vibes of the eleven era stuff as well which was in general so so weird about women & while its not like twelve or any of teh other doctors are expemt from this eleven is a massive dick to people quite a bit & a lot of this falls on river b/c he is seemingly (iirc i havent seen some of this stuff for a while though it Haunts Me) almost careless? with her? like a sort of 'welllllll she's here now so it was all okay in the end :)' sort of attitude ignoring that she went through A Fuckton Of Stuff before she was even a concious human(mostly??) being
even the husbands of river song is tragically guilty of some of that stuff like. she's seen some wild shit & she should have known it was twelve wayyyyyy way way quicker. like i understand why she didnt for plot reasons but she is in fact very intellegent like. she's allowed to show that. unfortunatley sometimes women cant be smart & have their boobs out at that same time I GUESSSSSSSSS
also the nine & river audios from earlier this year? i really like archipelago i listened to that a couple of times & i thought it was really powerful but AGAIN the writers make river So Fucking Obsessed With Romance like. you'd let it go by that point. nine had literally just proved he's the most aro guy in the universe (good for him) and shes stillllllll flirting at him. which. imo she wouldnt do anymore because, shock horror, she does actually like him as a person & values his company and you would think you would be friends wit hthe guy YOU ARE GONG TO MARRY OR WHATEVER. NOT THAT THEIR MARRIAGE WAS PARTICULARLY ROMANTIC EITHERIM GONNA BE SO REAL. obviously sex is important to her & good for her but yikes. it doesnt need to be mentioned so often.
like its the whole 'inherent tragedy of waiting for a time traveller' stuff which i do eat up every time meeting her in silence of the library & knowong that there is so much more there - VERY COMPELLING !! really good character intro augahagaauuaajaaajahhahahahhhh but nooooo her Entire Fucking Goddman Life has to revolve around being manipulated & The Doctor AS WELL AS !! the completely uncalled for ohhhh im a PSYCHOPATH ( <- unfounded & demonstrably untrue lowkey this is saneism right. thats an ableism there yes? ) thing they alllwaysssss have her say like well!! shes not !! theres 'youre talking about commiting a murder'/'no im not, i'm actually commiting a murder' which i like & is funny & she would say that and then theres teh vauge oooohhhhh im so Freaky & I Have A Gun or whatevr like augsugsaihuahahaouoauauoouauoauoauoauuo
also twelve & river had freaky t4t bi4bi aroallo sex after the end of husbands of river song but no actual dw writer is enlightened enough to see that because they have to flatten her into The Doctors Wife & she would have had a far better dynamic with 12 than with 11 (not that i'm biased) i wish they got more time togetherrrrrrrrrrr also you should listen to the bekdel test (diary of river song audio with missy)
#tldr river song is a character i love very much however she had the grave misfortune of being written in the mid 2010s by steven moffat#anyways. sorry yikes this got long im so sorry i dindt realise i had this much to say. wow#doctor who#thanks for the ask!!#this is not. very flattering of elevens era if are are emotionally attached to him you may want to skip this one <3#jordan tag :D#river song
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Horror Movie Marathon: They React to Llamageddon
Lucifer
• He does not want to watch it but he wants to know why the hell you want him to.
• He is completely blocking this out, he will pretend to watch it when you’re looking at him but he’s really thinking about tracking down whoever wrote this.
• Sax music has been ruined for him for a long time to come.
• “The llama did a fine job” is his only commentary.
• You should watch whatever he wants next if you want him to sit through this
Mammon
• He’s laughing so hard.
• He’s looking up how much a movie of that quality made because he knows he can outdo it.
• He finds it genuinely funny, like what the fuck are they doing? He never knows what’s gonna happen next. Will the llama smoke weed or bitch slap someone? You literally never know.
• Mammon, being himself, doesn’t look at Llamas the same way after the movie
Leviathan
• He’s never even seen hentai this level of weird—possibly?
• He’s gawking at the screen and not even eating the popcorn, just looking horrified
• “Why is that animated? Of course there’s tentacles!?”
• He keeps criticizing the camera positioning and making wild hand gestures
• What the hell did you get him to watch? The llama is pretty funny though. “Yeah! Kick the normie’s heart out”
• He no longer feels ashamed of his anime choices because he just had to watch a llama/human birth scene or whatever that was supposed to be
Satan
• He’s judging you so hard. How did you even find this movie and why would you watch it with him?
• He’s wondering if these people are serious through the entire film
• “Why is that one guy wearing a different shirt in literally every shot?”
• “How would the llama know to throw something electoral in the hot tub? And it does not take that long to die from electrocution.”
• He only enjoys the llama killing people and feels bad when the llama is killed.
• “I have no words…” he is not letting you pick out the next movie
Asmodeus
• “Literally what the fuck am I watching? Is that supposed to be a sex scene???”
• “Why the fuck is there so much sax music, it’s not that sexy! What’s happening?”
• “Eventually he just starts talking to the movie because he can’t sit and watch it seriously.”
• Horrified gasps and fake faints throughout the movie.
• “Poor llama! Those weird people deserved that!”
Beelzebub
He’s just watching. He honestly doesn’t care about quality, he’s here for a story which kind of happens.
The blood made him hungry for meat so now he’s got steak in addition to popcorn
Wonders if space llamas taste any good. They might be spicy if they can blow stuff up.
He really doesn’t have an opinion he just can’t figure out what happened and why.
Belphegor
• “The fuck did you put on…”
• Tries to go to sleep but it’s so weird he can’t take his eyes off screen and that kind of annoys him because it’s just so bad and it’s completely on purpose
• Has a personal grudge against the director but is laughing so hard when someone gets blown up by the CGI lasers.
• He’s secretly rooting for the llama because he thinks its fluff might be comfortable
• He has some weird dreams about llamas for a few nights after
Solomon
• Straight up says “no” he’s not watching it but he ends up doing so anyway when you beg him to watch it with you
• He’s not enthused and is hoping chewing his food will tune the sound out but the weird sex scenes and close ups have him choking on the food.
• “I’ve watching humanity grow for so long and accumulates…to this…”
• He does laugh at some point because it’s just so stupid is funny. He’s dying because how is this a movie?
• And then it gets even weirder and he’s sighing into a pillow and hiding his laughter
Thirteen
• Immediately tries to turn it off unless you tell her there’s some good traps in the movie
• She’s waiting for them impatiently but she does get a few—very violent ideas
• “Why’d that girl’s face never change. She’s not even acting? Why’s that guys shirt keep changing? No one kisses like that!? What is this!? MC—“
• She’s never watching a movie you recommend again unless it’s reviews are near-perfect
• She wanted to llama to win because the humans were too annoying
“I wonder is Solomon would survive a turbine?”
Simeon
How dare you play a movie with sex scenes while Simeon is there and they’re not even sexy, it’s weird as hell.
• They’re throwing a party at the home someone was murdered in?
• What are you showing him. It just keeps getting weirder, and is that a fluffy egg? Is that human birthing a egg!???
• He’s got a pillow to the chest. He’s not scared, he’s so incredibly weirded out he’s kind of frozen.
• He does not let you pick out the next movie, he needs to pet real llamas to get over that weird movie.
• Tells you this movie is why you shouldn’t do drugs. You should also start avoiding other humans.
Raphael
• He’s giving you a lot of judgmental looks
• “Someone was just murdered there and they’re having a party?”
• The weird close ups and tongue wagging gross him out.
• If you find a mysterious substance on a tree, do not emerge yourself in it? He’s shaking his head so much.
• He feels bad for the llama because it did nothing wrong and has to hang out with loud college kids
• Mildly amused by the dads parting words of how to kill future space llamas and then there’s cries of more. He hopes that means they’re won’t be a sequel.
Mephistopheles
• A stupefied expression on his face the whole time.
• Is this a joke or are they trying to be serious because he can’t decided and he wants to strangle the actors—his standards are way too high for b horror movies
• This human government has the worst investigative skills ever. Why would they leave the remains of the ship? How did they not see the goo? Are they really just not doing to address a fluffy egg?
• This is why he doesn’t attend college parties, are they all this weird. Have the humans truly lost it.
• How dare they disrespect sax music.
• His investigative method will lead him to find the real names of the actors and personally chastise them
Barbatos
• Each time something cringey happens he takes a good long look at you, judging your choice in movies
• Why would you show this to him? Why was this even made
• He doesn’t even have the energy to sigh while watching this.
• If he goes to make tea and you pause the movie until he gets back he will be internally very upset but try not to show it
• Even a time lord does not have the time for this movie but he sits there anyway, mostly looking at you as you die laughing from its stupidity.
Diavolo
• It’s so bad he’s laughing. They know what they’re doing, it’s crap and they’re embracing it.
• Only enjoys the llama and the bad special effects
• He literally won’t stop laughing.
• He feels like the actors are his friends goofing off behind the camera and it’s bringing tears to his eyes.
• He assigns them random names, “no, the llama got John!”
• “…is he….turning into a llama? Oh now it’s animated… oh no…is he giving birth?”
• Ever the optimistic he gives them an A for effort and is still laughing long after the movie is over.
• “Humans are so interesting…”
#obey me shall we date#obey me lucifer#obey me diavolo#obey me mammon#obey me solomon#obey me simeon#obey me satan#obey me leviathan#obey me asmodeus#obey me belphegor#obey me beelzebub#obey me raphael#obey me thirteen#obey me barbatos#obey me horror movies#obey me headcanon#obey me headcanons#funny obey me#weirdest movie I’ve ever seen
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