#the struggle. finally manage to tear myself away from the current hyperfixation

[sewermageboy]

Trying to be responsible and working on my sci-fi term paper about a feminist short story about a planet without men, only to come across this article:

He's following me I swear

[kyndaris]

Backlog Catch-Up

With all the new releases coming out in 2023, I am reminded once again of the limited time I have as someone that must work for a living. Coupled with the fact that I’m out socialising more and exploring the world when I use my leave, what little free time I have must be used in the most efficient way possible spread out thinly across video games, writing, reading and keeping up with shows and movies.

As of the writing of this post, I’m in the fourth chapter of Tactics Ogre Reborn, mopping up most of the side quests and unlocking new characters and classes before the final battle. But the temptation is there to put Tactics Ogre Reborn down and play through The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom instead since it’s new and shiny and everyone who is anyone is hyped for the new Zelda entry.

I even saw someone play on the commute to work!

While that something most gamers will do, hopping from one game to another, I’ve always found that the best way for me to tackle the glut of video games that catch my eye is to finish them off one by one before moving on. Otherwise, I’d have far too many incomplete games and not enough storage space on my consoles for anything more. A terrible dilemma given the size of games nowadays.

At least, that’s what I tell myself as everyone else is raving about the latest games that they’ve got their hands on.

Of course, even if I were to finish the game I was currently playing at the time, it doesn’t always mean I’ll play the latest and greatest title. The game I start could be part of my backlog or a fairly new and flashy game. And though it shouldn’t matter if that title is the one in the current zeitgeist or if it was something that came out years ago, I know in my heart of hearts, I should only be playing what’s new. If only to keep up with the discourse.

Still, the FOMO that I feel is a reminder that I can still engage in the content, though I may not have the entire experience. After all, I’m not one that shies away from a few spoilers. In fact, I relish them. 

But I’ve found that when it comes to my gaming habits, and even on dates when I chat to others, it’s always been a struggle for me to be open about my favourite games. While some hyperfixate on a title, I tend to enjoy the stories for what they are without diving too deep. Some of that could be from the fact that I’ve managed to glean all that I can from unofficial wikis. Other times, I’ve simply not felt the need to obsess over every small detail in the game.

Still, I have to wonder if some of that comes from my childhood. Growing up, there weren’t many people around me that played video games. Even if they did, they were older than me and didn’t want to entertain the curious preteen. In high school, there was still the perception that games were played by boys and what was a nice girl like me doing spending so much time in front of the computer screen?

Even now, I don’t talk about games with my work friends or those that don’t really play anything more than cosy games like Animal Crossing. Sure, I now know of people that play the big releases and that’s something we can talk about briefly but those titles serve as conversation starters. Water cooler conversations, if you will, because neither of us know how far the other has gotten and don’t want to ruin the experience.

If I wanted a hot take about a game, I turn to the internet. One glance at YouTube and you can see why. I couldn’t tell you the number of videos I’ve seen reviewing game titles, assessing games and what they bring to each individual or just having an opinion about something controversial. You name, there’s a podcast. And if you engage with those creators, form a parasocial relationship, you’ve essentially found ‘your people.’

So, maybe it’s fine for me to take my time instead of racing through. Even though popular discourse seems to favour remaining relevant when posting reviews or impressions on the internet. Something that I’ve done with my games.

The same, however, cannot be said of books. Perhaps because I’m not on BookTok or on BookTube. Even if I were, there’s no real rush to be on top of the latest releases unless it’s YA. And given my favourite genre and my minimum page count being 500 pages or more, I’ve never felt compelled to quickly finish a book just to get to a new one. In fact, the more time I can spend with a book, the better. The atmosphere, the worldbuilding, the characters...these are all important aspects to me and there have been times when a book reaches the end that I wish the author had simply written more about their characters.

I very much like exploring someone else’s head and seeing their interactions in the quiet moments.

That’s probably why I insert so much of it in my own writing. I like to get to know a person inside and out.

Beyond the occasional YA novels, though, you won’t find whole wikis filled with the history of characters or their backstory. Books are a completely different medium and their fans interact differently with the source material. While yes, you will get the occasional fan art, it’s only recently that I’ve seen Rhysand and Feyre fan art being sold at conventions. I might have shuddered, but given that there’s no movie or TV show of Sarah J Maas’s work, it’s very impressive that there is actual fan art that exists for a wholly book series.

Books, more than games, have always been something I’ve been passionate about. And while there are books that I will put down something else to read if the chance arose, I don’t feel the immediate FOMO that one might have if a new game comes out. Yes, there’s hype but I never feel like I’m missing out on the conversation.

Maybe, of course, there’s the fact that reading is a much more passive experience than gaming. True, tehre are people out there that will immediately buy a book as soon as it releases and finish it within a day but even with BookTok and BookTube becoming increasingly prevalent, public discourse doesn’t have such a huge emphasis on new book releases. At least, not on the scale of video games or films/ TV shows. For example, Sarah J Maas became increasingly popular with the advent of TikTok but back when I was still reading the first few books of the Throne of Glass series back in 2015, there was no-one I knew within my immediate circle that had read the books.It’s only been in recent years that I’ve seen people fall in love with the world of A Court of Thorns and Roses and jump on the fae bandwagon.

And don’t get me started on Robin Hobb!

Too bad, of course, that no-one has truly been trying to promote the intricate worlds of M.A. Carrick in the Rook and the Rose series. Or have started reading the Black Magician trilogy by Australian author, Trudi Canavan. Honestly, those worlds have been some of the BEST I’ve ventured into.

Then again, much like games, I don’t talk about books very much to my friends. Mostly because it’s hard to find someone that has read the same type of genre that I do. Even if we DO read the same genre, we may not have read the same books. Have you SEEN how many books are churned out each year? Something, of course, I want for myself but I’m sure if I am ever published, I’ll just be one of the dime a dozen authors that disappear once more into the woodwork. It takes talent and grit and a fair bit of luck to become the next Sanderson or Rowling or Martin.

Still, now that I’ve joined a book club at work, I’ve been able to talk about books freely with people that have, at the very least, read the same book that I have for the month. No longer do I have to spy on people on the train and muster up the courage to chat to them about the latest Stormlight Archive book that they’re reading (which I’ve finished) and nerd out over Kaladin and lashings and the Cosmere.

And while the genres may not always be the ones that I enjoy the most, I do like discussing the book of the month with those in the office. There’s something special about going into deep dives about the book we’ve all just read as we go on about themes or elements that particularly stood out. 

Even if I secretly hope to steer them towards the more magical side of fantasy given enough time. 

But that’s a thought! We have book clubs. Why not game clubs? I know that video games are social mediums by their very nature, but I’d like a proper sit-down and in-depth chat about a game’s story with my fellow gamers as we talk about things that we liked or didn’t like, the mechanics that worked and didn’t work and how the ambiance fed into the game world to make it the unique experience it was for each person.

I don’t want someone to talk at me about a game. I get enough of that on the internet as people try to extol the virtues of whichever game has become their whole personality, nor do I want to have to sit through a one-sided discussion during a date. Given that games are a valid medium of art, we can start treating them as such.

But maybe instead of viewing games and books and whatever else that’s inbetween, I should simply just enjoy what I have for the time being and worry less about trying to keep up with whatever is popular. I’m not, after all, a gaming journalist. There’s no money to be made in my blogs. I write about what I like, I read what I like, and I play whatever takes my fancy. Games come and go. And since I’ve purchased them and they’re sitting pretty on my shelf, it’s all just now a simple matter of picking them up, dusting them off and slipping the disc into the console. 

Speaking of which, I need to ALSO finish of Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky SC and the third title before tackling the Crossbell arc of games. Eugh! 

So much to do, so little time!