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chuluoyi · 1 year ago

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✎ mission: baby steps !

- gojo satoru x reader

the three times gojo tried to make his baby love him (and how he miserably fails)

genre: full crack, dad!gojo being a sore loser, your baby being mean (he only wants peace, really), and obviously, fluff !!

note: a little thing for father's day ehe <3 i know i said i'll work on smut in the polls next but uhhh, this comes first ok?! :') i just love the idea of gojo vs baby don't mind me *sobs* and all the scenario here come from the tiktok/reels you've sent me!

a part of gojo's love entries

general masterlist

There are many things that come with being a jujutsu sorcerer, and when you are Gojo Satoru, those things seem to be multiplying like bunnies.

This essentially means less time with his wife and baby. Look, he could finish missions fast, but when sent to other cities, even he couldn't abuse his teleportation powers all the time to return to Tokyo.

And so, as much as he hated it, he couldn't fault his baby boy for forgetting him.

"Look, it's papa," you rocked your son with a smile, consoling him as he wailed right after Satoru held him. "Don't cry, don't cry! Papa just got back from a long mission, he's not scary!"

"Is he scared of me?" Ouch. The thought prickled him. It somehow felt sourer than seeing Principal Gakuganji's face.

You hummed, seemingly (or comically?) deep in thought. "Hmm, in baby's point of view: a big, bad man suddenly picks him up, of course he's scared."

"I'm not a bad man!"

Okay, he wasn't having this. Satoru adored his baby to bits and he would want him to at least know it. It's settled then—he would be taking paid leave just to spend some time with his baby.

This would be his mission for the next three days!

DAY ONE

The day started off great. Baby Gojo was relatively calm, a bit fussy here and there but Satoru could definitely handle him.

"Look, a plane is coming!" he said playfully, moving the spoon in the air to attract his baby's attention. "Open your mouth wide!"

Baby blinked at him with the straightest face ever. His two blue orbs were the very same as his father, and yet they held disinterest so great that it was a wonder Satoru didn't notice.

He then playfully smooched baby's face, but he scrunched up, cringing in response.

And later, another achievement unlocked: Satoru successfully got his son to sleep for his afternoon nap!

"You're so cute, sigh." Satoru poked his baby's cheek lightly. "You look like me, but when you sleep, you totally look like your mama..."

He might not say it out loud, but one of his favorite sights lately was seeing you sleep next to your son. Both of you looked so precious and vulnerable, so alike, and it made him warm.

And whenever he looked at this little creation between you and him, he also got the urge to poke him so bad.

So he did. Only this time, he poked him a little too hard.

And how wrong that move was.

His son immediately cracked his eyes open, his lips quivered, and then his whole face scrunched up, followed by—

"WAAA!"

"Oof! Wait— I'm sorry!"

Long story short, he refused to be held in Satoru's arms, so you took over and your husband could only watch you with dissatisfaction.

"Won't you let me hold you?" he asked despondently, pulling up a pitiful face and batting his eyelashes. "I have the warmest hugs! Mama can vouch for that!"

"Satoru, he doesn't want you."

DAY ONE RESULT : FAILED

DAY TWO

Okay, his baby would love him today. Satoru was sure of it.

He had ordered this baby ride-on toy via home shopping and not only that, he would play with him!

"Here we goo~! Honk! Honk!" Satoru steered the little vehicle with his son at the backseat, hyping him up and even made a weird sound that was supposed to resemble a... train?

You watched them both, giggling. Your husband looked positively ridiculous as he was too big for the small vehicle, but still persisted in entertaining your clueless baby behind him. "Oh my, Satoru, you're trying way too hard."

"I have to!" he retorted, sending pout and a glare at the same time. "You can't hog him all the time, he's my son too!"

"Well, good luck~ as it happens, your spawn isn't easy to impress."

"Just so you wait—!" Satoru begrudgingly shot you a look, eaten up by your taunts, not noticing the wall in front of him. "By the end of today, he'll— whoaaa!"

He was about to crash into the said wall, and you were prepared to jump to save your baby first. But then, Satoru did the next best thing to stop it—jumping out of the ride-on, rolling onto the floor... and crashing into the bookshelf that some of the things fell. "Ow!"

"Are you okay!?" you immediately picked up your baby before checking him over. However, Satoru's eyes were transfixed on your shared munchkin.

"Meh heh~"

And you too when you heard it— your baby was wiggling, all smiles, seemingly amused by the sight of his papa lying there pitifully. Satoru was aghast.

"Y-you have no filial piety!"

DAY TWO RESULT : FAILED

DAY THREE

Today, Satoru had gotten inside the playpen and brought a bunch of toys, planning to entertain his son with all of them.

"C'mon, don't throw that!" he pursed his lips when his kid flung the lego away. "Don't you want to play together with me?"

No. As if saying that, the baby crawled away from him. He seemed to have a target in mind though.

"Oi, what are you doing?" Satoru was puzzled, but he was in for a surprise when the child rose slowly.

"Oh, you're pushing yourself up..." he stated, observing how the baby, still wobbly, clutched on the edge of his playpen for support.

A huge grin spread across his face then. "Aww, look at you!" he gushed with pride. "You can stand already! Ooh!"

And suddenly, the sight tugged at his heartstrings. This was the first time he had ever witnessed such a milestone. He wasn't here when he first started teething or crawling, and now that he was here when his son was standing... he wanted to see more of this.

"Now, can you take a step?" Satoru moved closer to him, and the kid turned to him with those clear blue eyes and a little frown, seemingly unsure. "Go! Go! Come to me!"

He didn't think he would actually try to walk. But he did as baby let go of the support, alas suddenly he slipped—

And fell flat on his face.

"—! Are you hurt?!" Satoru immediately plucked him off the floor, horrified, and pulled him close when the baby started to sniffle. Soon, he began to wail inconsolably.

"Oh no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—!" he didn't even know why he was apologizing, but seeing his baby so frightened made his chest tighten. "Stop crying, oh wait—let's find mama!"

You were engrossed in your evening TV series when Satoru came barging to the living room with your poor son while being hysterical. "Help him!"

"What happened?!"

"He fell! He fell!"

Of course, your main concern was to comfort your baby, and so you reached out to take him from your husband's arms, only that...

"Huh...?" even Satoru was stunned when his son clutched onto his shirt, continuing to cry but refusing to let go, burying his little face into him.

Suddenly, he felt warm, he felt needed, and most of all, his desire to protect him was so overwhelming that he couldn't help but squeeze him closer.

You looked between the father and son, feeling giddy at the sight.

"He wants you," you finally smiled, patting baby's back. Satoru glanced between you and his precious pumpkin, seemingly taken aback as he blinked several times. When the fact sank in, he felt like a mush and pressed a kiss on his head.

The clown was convinced that his kid hates him and you are the savior. So, the fact that this little innocent being wanted him to comfort him... it made his heart flutter.

"Sorry, kid," he sighed into him, smushing his face to his little one's. "Don't cry, yeah? You're making me sad too."

"Satoru... are you getting glassy-eyed?"

"...am not!"

DAY THREE RESULT : DUBIOUS OUTCOME

"He's asleep..." you placed your baby between you and Satoru on the bed later that night, he was now so peaceful, out like a light.

Satoru turned to face you and the baby, looking at both of you with a yawn, but a soft smile lit his face when he saw how you pecked his son's cheek lightly.

These three days made him almost forget that curses still existed out there. Spending time with his son blurred that fine line between reality and a perfect daydream.

"He is still so little, but he screams so loud," he mused, poking the baby's cheek gently. You swatted his hand away, worried he might poke too hard again.

"You keep teasing him, that's why."

"—? He keeps playing me, is why!"

You two burst into quiet giggles then, and you couldn't help but reminiscing about the journey from when you first found out you were expecting, through the first ultrasound, and all the way to delivering your son.

And it seemed like Satoru had an inkling of what you were thinking when he suddenly blurted:

"Thank you, for everything you do," he whispered then, his eyes crinkled so softly at you.

You playfully huffed to hide your misty eyes, and in that moment, Satoru knew, that you too were glad for this life you two shared.

. . .

And that, in and of itself, was enough for him to thank all the stars for bringing him to meet you in that most beautiful spring of 2006.

Epilogue

It was morning, and baby was awoken by... sounds.

He looked to the side to find his mama there— your hand on his tummy to prevent him from rolling.

And then he turned to the other side to find his papa... who is perfectly still, but emanating this low sounds with each breath he took.

The longer he heard it, the more irritated your munchkin felt. So he rose, put his fists together, and came down on him—

Whack!

"—?!" Satoru groaned when something hit his face, and he opened his eyes only to see his son readying his punch again—

"W-why are you hitting me!" he was mortified. "H-help! Sweets, wake up! He’ll murder me!”

OVERALL MISSION RESULT : FAILED

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tinybeetiny · 8 months ago

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Night Drives: J.W

SMUT | 18+ | MDNI

Im on such a Wooyoung kick… maybe because of his birthday but ffuickckkckc I need him bad fr

->Starring: Wooyoung, Afab!reader ->Genre: SMUT SMUTTY SMUT ->Taglist: @e3ellie @yoonshiiu @yunlazia @jonghoslilstar @sugakooie @atztrsr @honsans-atiny-24 If you don’t see your blog tagged I could not find it so I am so sorry 🥲 also just know I smile and kick my feet reading the responses… I love all of you 🥹 If you would like to be a part of the taglist please fill out this form ->Cw: Fingering, blowjob, road head, please be safe on the roads, two hands on the wheel and both eyes on the road please

Masterlist | Ateez Masterlist

Ever since Wooyoung got his license he's been wanting to drive everywhere and anywhere. The grocery store that's just a 10-minute walk? Yup he's going to drive that 3 minutes instead.

The current time is 2:30am and you are driving aimlessly around with your antsy boyfriend. You're pretty sure you're about an hour away from the apartment but neither of you seems to care not when the roads are bare and the music is calming. His hand rests comfortably on your bare thigh, his thumb rubbing circles on your soft skin. You stare out of the window distracted by the passing lights, too distracted to notice his hand sliding further up your thigh. You didn't realize until he was pulling on the hem of your shorts. You look over in his direction to see his calm demeanor as if his hand wasn't moving to brush over your clothed heat. "Woo?" you see him smirk ever so slightly "What?" his look of innocence is a huge contrast to what his fingers were doing. You have to admit the way he looks driving with one hand is definitely a turn-on. His grip on the wheel tightens when you grab his hand and grind against his fingers. You let a little sigh at the feeling but you wanted more "Do you want me to finger you or something?" You look at him with a glare "Do you have to ask that way?" You groan and he just shrugs in response "Yes I want you to finger me" You say before slipping your shorts and panties off.

The filthy sound of your wet pussy squelching fills the car but they're barely audible over your moans "You like that pretty girl? I can tell by how wet you are" You clench around his fingers at his teasing and the way he curls them has you arching off the seat "Oh fuck Woo you're gonna make cum" You breathe out as your head falls back onto the headrest "That's it baby cum all over my fingers" He says before pressing his thumb to your clit. You grip his wrist teetering on the edge of your release and with one last swipe of his thumb, you're tumbling over. The prettiest noises leave your lips as you see stars brighter than the ones in the night sky. Wooyoung's fingers continue to move in and out of you, working you through your orgasm. Your body jolts when his thumb continues to move against your clit. You whine and attempt to move his hand. "Did so good for me" He says as he slides his fingers out of you bringing them to his lips and sucking each digit clean.

You look over to see the tightness in his sweatpants and the need to have him in your mouth takes over. He looks at you with questioning eyes as you unbuckle your seatbelt (I swear if you ever do this i will throw you in timeout so fast that the image of the corner will be tattooed in your brain) and adjust yourself so that you're facing him “Do you want me to suck your dick?” You ask with the straightest face ever “HAH what?” “Do. You. Want. Me. To. Suck. You. Dick?” You emphasize each word and he nods aggressively. His head falls back when you bring hand to palm him through his sweatpants feeling how hard he is. You grab his waistband and pull them down enough for his beard thick cock to spring out, slapping his stomach. You grip the base of his cock, leaning over giving his pretty red tip a little kiss. You hear suck breath in when your finally wrap your lips around his tip.

The feeling of your plump lips moving up and down on his cock was causing him to lose focus. He makes a sudden turning causing you to fall forward a little, his tip invading your throat as you gag. “Oh fuck do that again” he moans grabbing the back of your head pushing you down on him again. He couldn’t help but buck his hips at the feeling of your throat contracting around his cock. The sound of your gaging and lewd slurping made his stomach clench as he inched his way to his release. He lets out deep groans as you bob your head faster loving the salty taste on your tongue “Fuck baby you’re gonna make me cum if you keep doing that” his grip on your hair tightens as he shoots ribbons of cum down your throat “fuck fuck fuck oh god. Your mouth feels amazing”

You didn’t realize you had arrived back home until Wooyoung turned the car off “Get upstairs. Wanna fuck you so bad” he mumbles swinging the door open but you grab his arm before he can move “what if… we fuck in the backseat?” Without a second thought, he’s climbing over the seats.

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #wooyoung ateez #ateez wooyoung #ateez jung wooyoung #jung wooyoung #wooyoung smut #jung wooyoung smut #ateez smut #ateez wooyoung smut #wooyoung x y/n #wooyoung x you #wooyoung x reader

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simonbrain · 8 months ago

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the mask is something simon just can't part with. maybe the piece of clothing shouldn't bring him such a strong sense of security, and maybe it shouldn't feel so right when people view the skull as his actual face rather than the hardened flesh that hides behind the mask, but he's too attached. he doesn't think he'll ever let go of it.

and then you come along with your sweet face and your gentle words, and it's everything simon has ever wanted—everything he's longed for when he's alone in the silence of his room. the hole in his chest seems to cling back together again, as if the dead ends are regenerating with each smile and each shy laugh you send his way. it's like his body is trying to accept those soft emotions he's been suppressing for so long.

although he finds that even if he can't fix himself, if he can't fully heal, your love fits snugly in the cavity of his chest much better anyway.

honestly, he didn't think he would ever gain the courage to get into a relationship, not after everything he had been through, not after how awkward and stiff he was when trying to ask you out, but here you were—his own little heaven on earth.

you don't even complain about the heated makeout sessions through the layer that separates your need to fully consume each other, nor do you pressure him to take it off. you always say kissing like that is hotter, anyway.

it's humbling how quickly you had slipped past the walls he built around himself, how the alarms that used to ring in his head transformed into sweet little bells that lulled him into a pure feeling of bliss that he hasn't felt in years. his selfishness knows no bounds; you had fully given yourself over to him, and he hadn't wasted a single ounce of your energy. he wants to return the love you seem to endlessly supply him with. he wants to share everything about himself with you.

which is why you're both seated on the couch, one of your hands grasped in his for comfort as he quietly announces that he wants to show you something. you don't even have to ask what it is.

"take your time, si," you murmur, leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek. his free hand digs tightly into the bottom of his balaclava, holding it in an iron grip even though he knows you'd never pull it off, and he swears his heart is pounding in his ears. what if he's not what you're expecting? what if you recoil from him in disgust? the scars he's hiding aren't exactly flattering, he knows, and his teeth might not be the straightest bunch, but—

you raise your hands up and gently cup his cheeks, leaning forward again to nuzzle against his face. you giggle softly when he tilts his head so your lips connect through the thin barrier, and your heart flutters when he relaxes in your hold.

"i have an idea," you whisper when you part from him, a wet spot formed on the front of his mask now. he hums softly in response and tries his best not to tense up when your hands slide down to his neck, your fingers smoothing underneath the fabric, resting there. "and you can't laugh."

simon chuckles quietly at that, his anxiety dissipating almost immediately. "promise."

"how about i see half of your face at a time?" he makes a noise at your question, about to interrupt when you lean in closer and begin peppering kisses over his jawline. "i can see the bottom half when we're kissing," you murmur through your pecks, reaching the corner of his mouth, "and later on, when i'm sitting on your face, you can take it off and i can see the rest." your tongue slips out to lick over his lips, a tease of what's about to come.

simon doesn't respond, not verbally, but you can tell he's already itching to get the damn thing off his head.

#this idea popped into my head the other day and i couldn't get rid of it so here's this #but now that i've finished writing it this sounds kinda stupid so. don't bully me #just for the record i think simon would show his face the moment he feels comfortable with a person #i'm just yapping here 🤓#ghost #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #rainwrites 𐙚

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thefuseoftemptation-archived · 1 year ago

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"LIKE YOU?"

'you're not sure where you and Eddie stand so you ask him.'

eddie munson x reader/ eddie munson x gn!reader

warning(s): language, pre-established relationship, brief implication of mature themes. NOT PROOFREAD.

a/n: not sure if it's been written before but it came to me and I just had to.

—

you guys were under the sheets, limbs were intertwined, trying to catch your breaths. eddie's hand maneuvered into yours, bringing it up to his mouth and pecking it before turning over to lay one on your temple. and while he got up to use the restroom, and grab a cloth, you still laid there, thinking.

your hands clasped over your chest as your tongue swiped your lower lip. the sudden question that came over had you turning to your side, lifting yourself up, as you stared at where Eddie went.

"eddie?"

you heard him hum out a response in return before he appeared at the door, leaning against it. the question leaving your mouth without much effort.

"you like me, right?"

"like you?" He repeated back with his brows raised, more so to make sure he heard you right the first time. his eyes panning over your frame as you nodded. he was used to you asking him the most out of pocket things but this one took the top. where was this coming from? why would you ask such a thing? and if it hadn't been for the way it was said, eddie would've assumed you were pulling his leg.

but there you were, sitting on the bed, looking at him with the straightest face ever.

"I love you." It was simple really. no further words to be said on where he stood.

"no- but do you like me?" you reiterated, making sure to enounce the last sentence. eddie's brows pulled in more, letting a sigh go as he wiped his hand over his forehead.

"w-we're engaged for gods sake, of course I still like you."

—

a/n: feedback and support is appreciated.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson headcanon #eddie munson hcs #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson one shot

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whalesforhands · 11 months ago

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what’s yours is mine (9/?)

previous masterlist next

pairing: geto suguru x reader x gojo satoru

You don’t know a lot of things, and you readily admit that. What you do know, is that the friends you’ve made aren’t something you will ever regret. Until your physical body weakens and becomes nothing, you’re more than happy to give your all until you wither away.

What’s yours can be theirs, too. They’re your friends, after-all. (Omegaverse AU)

Your sense of smell is getting duller. At least, that’s what you think as you awaken to the sound of snoring in your ear and Suguru’s breathing on your shoulder. You can’t seem to catch the whiffs of the spiciness that once permeated the Geto home, or how your Mama used to smell like soft, warm honey as well anymore.

It’s frustrating— Now that everybody sometimes smells like their detergent; or like nothing. You can’t really associate anybody with any foods anymore.

It’s sad.

But your eyesight is still there, you suppose. So you can turn your head to the side to catch how rays of sunlight were flittering in through those fancy white curtains Suguru has.

There were no more bright oranges in the sky, no more swirly light pinks and fluffy yellows that had their rays hitting your eyes and making you squint at the light that Mama had warned you countless times not to stare directly at.

Luckily for her, what’s left were the beginnings of a dark horizon and the whirring of Suguru’s AC as you stare up at his ceiling, eyes steadily trying to get used to the spots of black and the dry feeling in your mouth.

One thing about taking naps in the late afternoon is that your body only ever seems to awaken just in time to miss the sunset that you so dearly love.

Your hand twitches awake as you experimentally move your leg, only to find a drooling Gojo Satoru asleep atop of you as you blink blearily, his limbs thrown over and onto you like some sort of pseudo-hug.

If you counted how his arms and legs are clinging onto you much like a koala to a tree branch as a hug, anyway. You can’t exactly move a lot right now.

“Satoru… You’re heavy…”

No response. Just his snores and even more drool on your shirt as you squeeze Suguru’s sleeping hand.

“Suguru…?” A grunt and a furrow of his brow— That relaxes soon after. He’s not awake either.

It’s also at this time of day that you wonder what you were doing beforehand. You’re pretty sure you’re on Suguru’s bed, pretty sure the side of your face feels kind of sore from being pressed against the pillow for too long and your fingers stiff from subconsciously gripping onto Suguru’s shirt.

Your brain is slowly starting to work again, you think.

S… Hoko— Left a while back, you’re pretty sure. Left a bit after she got a got a call on her cellphone that you were so intrigued by whilst she slowly taught you how to call a number on it.

She really is super cool.

If you had to say, had to tell yourself something to wake your sleepy brain up and to forget how dry your mouth feels— You’d probably start thinking about your friends to count your blessings.

Because that’s already 3 blessings in total. That’s not a lot, but you’re not counting the plenty of others that you’re sure you have.

Ieiri Shoko was someone almost comparable to Gojo Satoru. Almost— Because there just isn’t anyone out there you know of who can match his level when it comes to wealth and social standing and power.

(And Shoko only comes close because she was the only other rich person you knew of. Are rich people really rare or do you just know too few?)

Gojo Satoru truly had it all. And if anyone could be pitted evenly against him; excluding standings of class and economic prowess, the answer immediately reroutes and makes the straightest beeline for Geto Suguru.

You’re not rich. You’re not exceedingly smart or pretty or have Satoru’s strangely large appetite for sweets. You don’t even have Suguru’s strange likability despite how skewed of a personality he can tend to have.

Where do you stand, really?

“Does it even matter?” His mouth opens far too wide, stretched into one of his lazy yawns as he stands idly, a singular duffel bag thrown over his shoulder, his green eyes squinting at your scrutinizing face.

“If you think too much your puny brain’s gonna explode.”

“But if I think too little I’ll end up with an empty head.”

“You sure ya even got anythin’ in it?”

So you pout and glare, much to his amusement and to your chagrin as your cheeks huff up, his too big hand messes with the top of your head with a chesty laugh.

“See ya ‘round, kid.”

It was a good few years with him, you think. And your teacher was definitely someone who kept his promises, even if he had to go super, super far away for his adult adventures.

(It was precedented. He always was an almost adult, anyway.)

“Don’t forget to bring Saya-chan around to show her the world.” You plop your precious, precious Ito Saya merchandise onto his open palm, her pretty face giving you memories of all the times she had given you news about the weather— Before transitioning to doing your favourite astrology tellings.

There was even an Ito Saya dehumidifier that she had personally voiced. Oh to hear your Saya-tan greet you every morning with her voice…!Oh, but unfortunately for you, the stars were not aligned in your favour that day. With 1 too many 0s on the price tag for your liking as you stared at the advertisement— And at the coins you had collected in your little shoebox.

Nope.

So you settle for your super precious ultra deluxe Ito Saya headshot from the nearby supermarket collaboration that Mama got by paying an extra ¥300 for a blind box keychain.

Fate was kind. For it was written in the stars when you so carefully ripped off the plastic to find your precious Saya-tan’s face staring right back at you.

It turned into your most precious possession, but even someone as tough and strong as your teacher needed something for good luck.

“Who the fuck is this?”

“Saya-chan.” Duh. Even Satoru knows her, and all he ever watches is Digimon and the magical girl shows you excitedly ask him and Suguru to join you for.

And there he went— Face barely fighting back an almost constipated grimace, before it morphed into one of resigned defeat as his fingers closed around the trinket in his palm.

“…right. I’ll dedicate a smoke to ‘er or something.”

“Saya-chan thinks smoking is bad for the body.”

So much for trying to be nice to you. So can you really blame him when he’s squatting down to your height to pull at your cheeks and ruffle your hair until the cute pigtails your Mama did up for you fell apart?

“Beggars don’t get to be choosers, you brat.”

Someone who really wasn’t like you, no matter how hard you tried to be him. So it really glares what your super duper knowledgeable teacher had said—

Does it really matter? When you let out a yawn and finally muster enough strength to push the snack-loving boy off of you and release Suguru’s death grip on the sleeve of your shirt, you don’t contemplate for long. It’s not like you have enough time to, if you want to catch the final rays of the fading light of today.

The sun always sets all too soon for your liking.

(“I’ll come visit you one day when I’m older.”

“Heh. If I’m not dead by then, why not?”)

——

When you all turned 10, it was like stepping into a pair of brand new shoes that you didn’t quite like the feeling of, yet didn’t quite dislike. The familiar uncomfortableness of something you’re not used to, and the uncertainty that came with it.

It’s weird having a 2 digit age.

There’s rain outside, cold and an overcast sky that made you huff into your mittens because it was just that cold, your cheeks feeling like they were kissed one too many times by Geto-mama as you shiver and make the short walk towards Suguru’s house.

(Mama had to bundle you up like this instead of just letting you run over. She’s always right, it seems. It’s really cold today.)

“Mama says I have to start thinking about what middle school I wanna go to.” It’s said through your muffler as you hurriedly unwrap it from around your neck, clumsy fingers fumbling with the buttons of your coat as you feel Suguru’s hands pat off snow from your head.

“Did you have any in mind?”

“Nope.” And once you’re finally free from your winter bindings, you just can’t help but lean forwards, until the cold socks of your feet were sliding back against the polished wood of his home, until your body lost its sense of gravity and you no longer have any control— Just to let your dear friend catch you in a trust fall, of course.

“You’ll hurt yourself one day, you know?”

“No,” You cuddle back against his warmth, taking advantage of your position to absorb every ounce of warmth he could possibly give to you. “You would never let me fall.”

Your future doesn’t really cross your mind, not when you’re at this tender age.

“Can I just go to the same school as you, Suguru?” It’s easier than picking for yourself. Easier than going around and looking at each nearby middle school 1 by 1 with Mama at your side or picking up hearsay from your classmates.

And it made you happy. So, why not?

“Hmm…” He’s still holding onto you, shivering only slightly from how cold you felt as you rub his back and feel the tickle of his hair on your nose.

“If you can get your grades up, sure.”

Wah… You think you feel defeated now, letting out a sigh and slumping until you can feel how the poor boy was struggling to hold you up. Even if he did have extra martial arts practice, you’re both still only kids after all.

“It’s okay— Hngh— To stay as you are.” He’s starting to pull you along, heaving slightly as you entrust him with full control of your entire physical being, letting your socked feet drag against the smooth wooden planks as he carefully walks backwards with you in tow. “I’ll like you as whatever you want to be.”

(“I wanna be a hero.”

“You already are one.”)

“Oh, don’t you both just look so darling!” Her hands are too preoccupied with squeezing each of your cheeks, the heavy blanket she had set over the both of you making you feel fuzzy inside.

And sleepy. Really sleepy.

“I just want to keep you both wrapped like this forever!”

(“Mama, please…!”

“Oh, yes, yes you fussy child.” She leans down to kiss his forehead as she pats your head and sneaks in a final squeeze of your cheek.

“Take your time, my cute little couple!”)

You take another satisfying sip from your cup, liquid flowing down your throat and into the cozy warmth of your tummy. Heated porcelain thaws your freezing hands and the blanket wrapped around the both of you making you want to doze off and drift off into sleep.

(You swore you just slept, though. Suguru’s house is just way too relaxing.)

“Geto-mama should be careful when she tells you you should be a couple with someone.” That should be a no brainer as you impart your oh so wise knowledge onto your friend. “You can’t just marry anybody, okay?”

It’ll be bad if he marries someone just cause Geto-mama was too friendly. Because trusting people comes easily to her zodiac sign, so she should throw more caution to the wind.

“Oh, and because picking a partner for marriage is hard. Picking just anybody Geto-mama likes will end up with you in pain.”

And you just don’t like seeing him upset.

You catch the hot blush on his face, searing red on his cheeks as he avoids eye contact and lets out an exasperated sigh.

“I-It’s fine. She just gets too excited whenever you want to come over by yourself.”

Huh. Geto-mama is quite the hopeless romantic after all. You’ve seen how hard she swoons whenever Geto-papa comes home with a wide grin and a bouquet overflowing with flowers despite being in the middle of winter.

“My Mama also says marriage isn’t always a good thing like on TV, though.” The pretty Omegas dressed to the nines in flowy white or handsome black suits, the flowers, the music, the red carpets… Honestly, if it isn’t all that good, why do people try to portray it like that? Is it really that hard to show something as it is?

So ambiguous.

“Oh. Mama also says it’s good if I can find someone who I like a lot, is pretty and who lives close by cause she’d be sad if I moved too far.”

That’s already too many prerequisites, you think. Does Mama expect someone that perfect to fall out of the sky? Ito Saya just doesn’t live in your prefecture. Not counting those, you also need someone with— Uhm… Com-pact-ability?

(Whatever that means. They always talk about it on your star sign channel, so you usually tune it out while waiting for the daily luck reports.)

Maybe it would be okay if they just liked you as is? You think you can learn to like them if they already like you. Oh, but if you already have a laundry list of things then maybe you should try those arranged marriage meetings you always see advertised on late night TV when Mama has to work overtime—

“How about me?” Quiet, gentle like a ripple against the surface of a pond. Geto Suguru always talks so soft, speaks with such an endearing tone that it offsets the stuff you catch him saying sometimes. “I fit your Mama’s requirements, no?”

But it’s a nice voice, nonetheless.

“Hmm…” If you weigh the pros of Geto-mama and Geto-papa already knowing your Mama, minus off the fact that you wouldn’t have to go through the awkward ‘meet the parents’ phase they always discuss on the Couple channel that you swear gets played too much… If you calculate the short little walk from your house to his house— “I guess I wouldn’t mind if it’s with you, Suguru.”

(“Plus, you’re really pretty. You would look like my Saya-chan if you had longer hair and added all the pretty curls and ribbons she has.”

“…right. Let’s pick a middle school that allows boys to have long hair then.”)

——

“I don’t like sweets.” Shoko looks bleak and blank as she stares down at the pudding, fingers momentarily stopping midway through the flip of her magazine. “I think my maids like them, though.”

…what? You’re flabberghasted, heartbroken, perplexed and going through perhaps, every motion possible as you slowly, slowly try to process her words.

How can anybody dislike sweets?

She stares. Blinks at your pouting, downcast expression and the unwillingness to comprehend that there were people out there who didn’t like sweet things.

So she sighs. Internally.

“It’s because…” Her eyes break contact with yours as they flicker around her surroundings in search of a good excuse. “They always serve too much. So I can’t finish ‘em.”

“Then you can share mine!”

That was how you hooked an Ieiri to spend time with you at the infamous playground, using plastic spoons to shovel your much more affordable 3-pack pudding cups into your mouths.

(At least she isn’t complaining that it wasn’t the super expensive ultra deluxe cream filled ones that Satoru likes to eat.)

“Then they told me they were both busy.” You pout as Shoko flips through another page on her magazine, spoon in her mouth and hanging from her lips.

“Huh.”

“It’s okay, though! You’re my friend too so I wanna hang out with you lots and lots and lots.”

It’s no skin off her back to be together with you, not at all a bother in her eyes to hang out beside you. Though, something has been bothering her. Something that didn’t involve you— Even if it entirely did at the same time.

It’s odd, really. You possess so much of it, yet were involved so little in its affairs.

“(name).” She has a look in her eye that you can’t really discern, a shine in her pupils that usually hinted at something more.

(You would know. She does that whenever she wants to show you a brand new 2-page spread of Ito Saya you’ve never seen before on one of her magazines.)

“Do you know why Gojo and I had to get engaged?” It’s dismissive, uncaring and almost like she was just throwing it out there and into the air.

Like she was asking another question completely different to what she just said.

“No…?” You just never really bothered to pry further, never really bothered to involve yourself in things that others don’t want you in. Therefore, it’s not your business to stick your nose in. Because everyone has their own secrets, right? They’ll tell you only if they really want to. A good lesson for everyone to learn.

And she furrows her pretty brows, her expression disbelieving and like it was in… Shock? You think? Honestly, it’s hard to tell her disgusted and surprised reactions apart.

“So… You don’t know what they’ve been doing all this time?”

“…no?”

She squints and takes in a breath, using one of her dainty hands to cover an eye to stare harder, even rubbing them before finally blinking once more.

“You have— More than enough though.” She waves her hand in the air, glaring at the empty space around you as you mimic her actions, before her hand grabs yours.

“They really didn’t tell you?”

Now you’re just sorely confused as you tilt your head to the side, head itching with confusion and your lips pursed as you try to think of every possible reason. Though, you think you’re going to get a headache if she runs anymore circles around you.

“Am I… Supposed to know?”

Then she chuckles, letting her expression flit into a smug grin and eyes that implored you to explore that unfamiliar glint more. Your hand in hers felt somehow all the more compelling, yet all the more wrong as you blink.

“So I’ll be your first, then.”

You’ve been walking for a while now… You think. In the complete opposite direction from school, from Satoru’s home, from the playground… Before you realized you haven’t exactly asked about your destination.

“I can’t attack anything so we gotta stay clear from a lot of stuff, okay?”

“Okay,” There’s barely hidden excitement and anticipation in your voice, a hop in your step as you obediently follow along. “Where are we going?”

“Mm… Far away from here, I guess.”

“Oh. Cool.” You both continue to hold hands as you pass 1 house, 2 houses, 3… There wasn’t really a direct answer despite your question. But at the same time, Shoko has never really been the best at explaining things.

“Then this part will become 21, then once you do some more math stuff you’ll get the answer like this.” Her pencil leaves your paper, neat handwriting and the final answer to the equation staring back at you as you blink at it.

“…huh?”

“It’s cause,” She squints up at the sky briefly, scratching at her hair to think a little bit more with a troubled expression on her face, before her head tilts back down to look at you. “The Gojo estate is too big and near and… Stuff. So the energy scares them off.”

“…?”

“Y’know. Like the bad stuff.” She pauses, looking you right in the eye before she points at the bleary sky. “Did you really never see how different that looks?”

So your eyes follow, trail after her finger that was pointed up and above your heads. At the sky you’re used to seeing, at the sun that was far from setting. And you realize… It looks the exact same way it always had been.

“Doesn’t it always look like that?”

And she contemplates, her hand now on her chin as her eyes close and her lips pout that little bit.

“Maybe you need glasses.”

Huh. Not a bad solution if you can’t see exactly what she was looking at, but… “Glasses are expensive. I don’t think I can ask Mama for them.”

Oh.

Ieiri Shoko is lots of things, and she is especially one who just wasn’t all that used to interacting with someone from a widely different social class just yet. So when she hears you say something like that… It makes the words that were on the tip of her tongue lose all direction.

“Right. Sorry.”

You don’t really get it at all, don’t get why she always goes quiet and looks away when at the mention of such things. It’s not like you’re embarrassed or ashamed of it— So you choose to shrug it off, to trust her as you both walk and walk, in little bits of chatter and filler conversation that you can’t help but find enjoyment in.

(“Maybe I’ll get you a pair as a gift.” If a certain someone didn’t beat her to it, that is.

“But I heard people need their eyes checked for ‘em. How are you gonna get my eye results?”

“Hmm… Want some snacks instead, then?”

“Yay.”

At least she tries her best to explain stuff more now.)

“Okay. Here.” It’s before an alleyway quite a bit further from where you’re used to venturing. Far from any of the usual buildings that you’re used to seeing, and certainly— Really dark and scary and much more ominous.

Her dainty finger points forward, points with an ascertainy that you just can’t doubt, even if you think she was pulling your leg. “What do you see?”

“A… Really ugly rat?” You feel bad for calling it that, but it really is what it is. Tendrils of black seem to emanate from it, beady blue eyes and a grotesque snout that looked like it was collapsing in on itself upon a body of black goo that tried to shape itself into limbs.

So you can see it.

“It looks like Gojo, doesn’t it?”

“Satoru’s…” You furrow your brows and frown, intently watching the almost pitiful thing as it cries out. “Way cuter than that.”

The creature gurgles at the both of you, voice distorted and squeamish, bubbles appearing upon its deformed body as it slides, twitches towards the both of you.

“That’s a cursed spirit, by the way. A really weak one.”

“Cursed… Spirit?”

“Mhm.” She moves forward, standing by your side and watching the newly introduced, slow-moving ball of black before the both of you. “It’s made of negative emotions and other bad stuff. That’s why it looks like that.”

“Do the stronger ones usually look uglier?”

“I dunno. My mama doesn’t let me go on missions yet. Gojo probably has been on some, though.”

That sounds… Dangerous. Is that why your friends have been disappearing so often lately? They’re not risking their lives out there, are they? Wait, does it mean Suguru can see them too? But how? You’re pretty sure you’ve been with them all your life, so how—

“It’s approaching you.”

“Ah…” It snaps you out of your rambles, makes your head tilt downward to be facing the disgusting thing now that it was only a few meters away.

“Don’t touch it, or get too close to it. It only wants to eat cursed energy.” She pulls you back when it inches too close for her liking. “And they’ll try to kill you, too.”

Maybe you both should’ve seen it coming, should’ve taken more caution— But even she didn’t notice how the cursed spirit was charging up a ball of vile, concentrated energy, didn’t see how it aimed right at you.

“Ah…” You barely even have a reaction, not even when it causes your blood to splatter on the ground and for the cursed spirit to shoot towards you, goo spreading and extending to expose gnashed teeth and a torn tongue that kept licking up the droplets of your blood from the ground.

It’s when your eyes widen and you both see the way it had cut into the skin of your arm, leaving a thin, crude gash that Ieiri Shoko thinks she sees red, thinks she doesn’t like the idea of something so ugly touching you.

And she stomps, and stomps— You see blood splatter and hear shrieks of a scream that sounded far too human for it to just a simple rodent— And yet, Shoko remains undisturbed throughout.

“It’s… Dead.”

Gone. Deceased. Battered into a puddle of its own guts.

“Mhm. It’ll come back after a few days though, since I can’t exorcise it.” But she’ll get someone from her family to do it later, anyway.

“It… Made your dress dirty, Shoko.” Maybe any other ordinary kid would have reacted differently, would have screamed and cried for their dear friend to spare the creature’s life, would have reacted much more to the way they could have had their life threatened.

“…huh. I guess it did.”

But your skin stings, and your eyes just can’t help but stay stuck to the way Shoko’s pretty dress had been dirtied by her efforts to save you.

Maybe you had a subconscious thought that you were perhaps worth less than the sparkly garment, maybe you thought that it didn’t hurt as much—

Or maybe you just don’t know how to react in this situation that you have yet to fully process in your head.

“Where do you get your clothes, usually?”

Pondering for only a moment, you finally pull out a what you think is a pretty shirt from your, to be very honest, lacking wardrobe.

“Mama usually lets me pick what I want, but I pick one thing and ask if I can spend the rest on sweets instead.”

(She usually chides you, but eventually does give in after a puppy-eyed look or 2. You don’t need new clothes, you’ll just wear Mama’s when you’re older!)

“Oh, and Suguru’s mama likes to give us stuff.”

“Thank you, Akari-san. Your baking really is amazing—“

“Oh, lose the honorifics! We’re bosom friends at this point. And look at this! This darling shirt just reminded me of your cute (name) so much that I couldn’t help myself and just went ahead to buy it, aha!”

“And Satoru too.”

“Greetings, (name)-sama. The Young Master would like to formally thank you for the relations—“

“I made Kimi-chan buy it after she said it reminded her of you!” And he himself unravels the article of clothing before you, showing you the Digimon themed print full of cute Marching Fishes.

“It’s even Digimon themed so ya haveta stop watching Pokemon and watch the better show with me!”

“That’s where I think I get most of my clothes from.”

And the girl says nothing, staring down at the shirt you had given her as you gather up the fabric of her dress into your smaller arms and huffing triumphantly.

“I’ll be back soon! I’ll ask my Mama to help wash this!”

“Okay.” Truth be told, she wasn’t really listening to you anymore. Too preoccupied with the way your scent was heavy on the article of clothing, too busy taking whiffs of the air—

It smelt really nice.

“Mama.” You show her Shoko’s dress, prim and proper and sequined with a gentle shimmer to ensure maximum elegance. Very expensive, you’re pretty sure. “Can we wash this out?”

She blinks. Once, twice and a few more times. Even picks up the article of clothing and puts it close to her face, squinting at the very obvious patch of cursed spirit blood that was very evidently there— Especially against the pure white of Shoko’s dress.

“Honey…” She has to adjusts her eyeglasses, even swipe a finger at the fabric and observe her skin to really check for the damage done.

“There’s nothing there.”

——

You’re being stared at— No, scrutinized by blue that was all too judgmental of you.

“Did ya go crazy?” His hands feel hot, feel like they were going to melt into your skin and fuse your flesh together with his as he glares at you—

Angrily.

“We didn’t tell ya to involve yourself did we?” He’s huffing, upset and very much squeezing your hands tight as you let him hold them, letting him glare at the patch of skin Shoko had expended so much energy trying to heal.

(It’s definitely not perfect, but who can complain about her magic healing powers? It was so cool.)

“No, but I wanted to find out and Shoko wanted to help, so—“

“Shoko’s dumb.”

“She isn’t—“

“And you’re weak.” Gojo’s eyes never stop staring even as he rudely interrupts you once again, his face closing in on yours as he invades the little personal space you had left until you swear his eyeballs were gonna pop out of his head and touch your own.

“You never had anything in ya.” His eyes shine once more, before he inevitably blinks and lets out a grunt. A hand releases yours, going up to press against his face as his shoulders stiffen and his whole body shook.

As if he was in pain.

“A-And you still don’t!“ He wheezes slightly. “No cursed technique, no innate forms—” You can see the very clear grimace on his face as his eyes squeeze close and his face twisting into one of clear discomfort as he stamps a foot and shakes his head. “What even m-makes ya think I would go ahead and tell ya anything?!”

You know he’s not being mean— Not by your standards, anyway.

“Satoru… Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, you—“ He pauses when he squints at you through an offended gaze, the light in his eyes peeking through the gaps in his fingers whilst going silent for just a beat of a moment.

“My eyes hurt… Cause of my cursed technique, a-and stuff!”

“Then I-I can go call Kimiko-san to—!“

You don’t even get a reply, not even spared an explanation; just his hand making a grab for yours and pulling you back down beside him.

You meet puffed up cheeks and an angry pout, a sullen look and red splayed across his face and the tips of his ears infuriated and very telling of his annoyance whilst those crystals he had for eyes did their best to fight back tears.

Oh.

And when his head plops down onto your lap, it was almost as if it was a subconscious action turned into an all too repeated habit. Your hand brushing against white locks, trailing through strands of white as you gently scratch at his scalp.

“Hmph.”

“A-Are you sure you’ll feel better like this? I thought headaches and serious illnesses and poison and stuff like that needed a doctor…” Not that you know any doctors for cursed energy, or ‘techniques’ as he called them, but you’re sure Kimiko-san would.

“Hmph!”

Ack. He’s still too angry at you to want to explain anything, but not enough for him to stop your hand from stroking his head and making your lap his replacement pillow.

“I’m sorry, Satoru.” You really are. It’s not like you wanted to get hurt on purpose… But technically you did unearth the secret he and Suguru were keeping from you. “I didn’t mean to worry you or Suguru…”

(Not that Suguru knows of this situation yet, anyway.)

“I just—“ You take in a breath to steady your heart that was somehow racing, stop your administrations on his head as you try to find your words. “I guess— The reason I followed Shoko after she offered to tell me, I realized I just didn’t want to be left out…”

And it drawls into silence. It’s heavy and makes you reflect on your actions, forces you to be alone with the words that you didn’t realize reflected your truth. Maybe, you’re not as okay and go with the flow as your zodiac sign said you would be today.

Maybe you just didn’t want to be left alone and unknowing. You know you don’t know a lot— But at the same time, if you learned too, can’t you fit in with them all the better?

“…cursed techniques are something people are born with. And they usually show up ‘round the age of like 4.” He uncrosses his arms and stares up at you through his short bangs. “People born with ‘em get really good at using them as they get older, since it’s ingrained into them over and over that they eventually ‘get’ how to use it.”

“But you—“ He sighs when you scratch against a spot behind his ear as he twitches slightly. “You have a lot of cursed energy and stuff, but ya don’t have a cursed technique; at least not one I can see with my eyes yet. And I’m betting it’s cause y’er super weak.”

“Your… Eyes?”

“Yea, you noticed how much prettier my eyes are compared to like— Everyone else around, right?” There’s a pompous harrumph in his tone and a really proud, really smug grin on his face. “That’s cause I was born special and super, super strong.”

(“But you get a lot of cavities often, though…”

And he’s immediately jumping up and off of your lap, embarrassed face and telling shame on the red tips of his ears as he rebuts you.

“It’s just because I’m too strong that e-everything is out to get me—! Shoko told ya it’s cause cursed spirits were made of negative emotions and stuff, right?! That’s that!”)

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#jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #geto suguru x reader #geto x reader #satosugu x reader

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thewardenisonthecase · 8 months ago

Text

About the Lucanis Romance

(this is a long ass post ok so bear with me)

So I've been meaning to adress some of the complaints/criticisms of Lucanis's romance and I was thinking on how to do it and I finally figured it out. While I don't like making comparisons because I think they're somewhat unfair, but this time, I'm gonna do it to show why I have some many complaints about the Lucanis romance.

And I'm gonna compare it to Fenris's romance arc in DA2. The main reason for that is that 1) they're both very troubled man who brood and went through A Lot tm and 2) considering DA2 also doesn't allow you to just talk to the companions whenever and doesn't have a spam kiss button and is a shorter game, it feels the fairest comparison.

'Lack of reactivity when it comes to the flirting dialogue options'

One of the biggest complaints when it comes to Lucanis romance is his lack of reaction to the flirting dialogue lines. I've seen the argument that 'oh but he's awakward, he doesn't know how to react'. I'm not the biggest fan of this because there are ways to better portray a character being bad with flirting than having 0 reaction.

During Switch and Bait, the quest where Fenris is recruited, you can flirt with him. And how does he react? He gives a nervous laugh, because he's not used to do. But that conveys that he listened to the flirt line and is responding to it, even if he doesn't actually say anything. There are other moments where his reaction is looking away, smirking, and a few times he does flirt back.

Even if small, I never felt that Fenris wasn't reacting to what was being said. Meanwhile, Lucanis has a painful moment where Rook tells him "I'm here" and he, with the straightest face ever, responds with "We need to talk about Ilario". And this is not the only time where it feels like there was no response to the flirting, its just the most egregious of them.

So, while I can understand what people mean by the fact that he's awkward, there are better ways to portray this. It's important to remember that this is a video game, which is an interactive media, and on top of that, it's an RPG. The player HAS to feel like what they're doing matters, because if it doesn't, it's easiert to just read a book.

'Not enough romance scenes'

I think this is a criticism that has been misunderstood by many people. Romance scenes do not mean just sex. I'm asexual, the sex scenes are the thing that least matter to me. Like, Fenris only has 1 sex scenes and it's a fade to black where he immediatly dumps Hawke after, so clearly, sex is not what I care about.

What does matter are scenes that establish a connection between the two character.

And while Lucanis has them, and I think they're great (the coffee scene and the almost kiss one are the highlights for me), due to the way these scenes are spread out, it feels like there's something missing.

DA2 also doesn't have a shitton of romance scenes, and considering the fact that Fenris breaks up with Hawke halfway through, its understandable. But the difference is that DA2 is a much shorter game than Veilguard, or, at the very least, Act 2 of DA2 is waaaay more concise than Act 2 of Veilguard, which is where most of the romance is happening.

That means that, even if there aren't that many romance scenes, they are better splayed out, so you don't feel like you're missing stuff. Another thing that I think happens is that you can really dive in and just ask the companion a lot of things.

Take Fenris's Questioning Beliefs quest in Act 2, which is a really important scene for the romance. Much like veilguard, its a scene that doesn't begin as a romance one but if you have been picking the flirting options, it can turn into Fenris and Hawke discussing about being intimate in the future. And in this scene, Fenris confesses to not having been with anyone in long, and doesn't remember if he actually ever has been with anyone.

This can be made so much longer by the fact that Hawke can ask multiple follow up questions from there, and that helps in both creating a connection between the two and also establishing the romance. Even if they don't do anything then, Fenris will say 'another time'.

And this happens in the act 3 version of Questioning Beliefs, which has the culmination of Fenris's and Hawke's romance, where their relationship is rekindled. And I think they do what Veilguard should have done: they let the player adress Fenris leaving Hawke.

One thing that bothered me, and that other people have brought up is that after Lucanis's runs away from the almost kiss, it's never adressed again. And I think if they could have had a moment where Rook and Lucanis talk about this, it could have been great to understand Lucanis and his history with relationships, how he feels internally about what's going on with them, heck maybe even apologize. Just something to feel that that wasn't a random scene, that was something important that happened.

Also, because you can interrogate Fenris so much in those scenes, the feeling that he was yearning for Hawke but all his trauma was stopping him felt more natural/real/explicit. I remember getting to the endgame portion of Veilguard and Lucanis pulling out the 'when i wanted to be with you but was scared' and thinking this is a lovely sentiment but why it hasn't been shown before? Because yes, the almost kiss is a good way to establish this, but if it had been actually delved in, that feeling could have been made more explicit.

I also wanted to add that, while the gift giving in DA2 is nowhere near the mechanic it was in DAO, it still helped with establishing that connection, and it gave even more chances for characters to flirt, and if DATV had used this opportunity, it could have helped a lot, instead of just having the character go "for me? thanks"

'Banter'

I'm gonna adress two issues here at once. The first is Neve.

Out of the gate, hating on Neve just because she flirts with Lucanis and gets with him if you don't romance either of them is weird, and at the very least, sexist.

So, what I want to talk about is that if you're romancing either of them, for some reason, their flirting banters still trigger and that can be uncomfortable. It sure is weird to be romancing a character and have them still flirt with another, because it comes across as 'oh maybe the choice to romance them doesn't change much' which isn't good for an RPG.

DA2 also has a couple that flirts through banter and gets together if Hawke doesn't romance them, and those are Isabela and Fenris. The difference is that, if you romance either of them, those flirty lines of banter do not trigger. At all. So much so I had no idea they got together because I've only romanced Fenris so far in DA2, so i never even knew of these banters until I looked at the wiki.

So, truly, lucanis and neve getting together is fine (i think neve should have been with bellara but that's another story) but these flirting line should not trigger if either of them are being romanced by Rook.

Still on the topic of banter, maybe I was unlucky and didn't get it to trigger often, but I felt as if, even though everyone was living together, the fact that Rook and Lucanis were in a relationship was not really ever addressed by anyone else? Like, I know these banters exist because I've seen them online, but I feel like there were just too little of them?

In comparison, the DA2 characters have a LOT to say about Hawke's choice of partner (and again, I'm focusing on Fenris here). Merrill adresses the romance through banter ('you make sad puppy eyes whenever Hawke looks away'), Varric, Isabela and Anders have specific scenes where they talk to Hawke about Fenris and give their opinions on the two of them together. Heck, in Aveline's quest where she gets with Donnic, she can briefly mention the two of them. And these all of them also have banter in which they adress the romance.

And its this sort of thing that really helps filling in the gaps of the romance scenes but also showing that these characters know what is happening. And the DA2 gang doesn't even live together!

And for Lucanis in specific, if there always was going to be less scenes with him due to how he is a person, having a few scenes where the other companions talk to Rook about it would have helped bridge that gap, in my opnion. Again, considering you can't directly talk to this characters (as in, click on them and start a dialogue), this would have been a nice touch.

And now a very personal complait of mine

'Kisses and the Commit to Romance scene'

While I stated at the very begging that I don't care about sex scenes, that is another story when it comes to kissing scenes, and I'm sorry, but it's WILD to put the ONLY kissing scene in the romance AT THE ENDGAME PORTION OF THE GAME.

Give it or take, kissing is an intimate act and it can be used, in my opinion, to show that a character is comfortable with that sort of physical touch. And for a character like Lucanis, who is just so troubled, maybe one kiss before the grand finale would have been really fucking welcomed. In fact, I know the scene they could have added that - the one in the café after Ilario is taken down.

It could have been a short, sweet kiss, that was just a follow up to the almost kiss scene. Just something to hammer in more that these characters are together.

Because let me tell you, it is not a good sign when people say they thought the game was bugged after the dessert scene.

That scene, while lovely on its own, does a bad job of making it clear that yeah, these characters are dating now, and that's due to the fact that that is not something really said out loud.

I'm rewatching this scene as I type this out and at no point, is it made clear through dialogue that Rook and Lucanis are agreeing to being together. In fact, Lucanis says that what he's doing is not enough, and Rook disagreed with the sentiment and says they're easily bribed. That's it.

Meanwhile, in DA2, not only in act 2, do Fenris and Hawke lowkey make plans about being intimate at a later date, and Fenris explicitly says he wants Hawke, but in act 3, he once again makes it clear that he wants to be with Hawke, and I feel like this only really happens with Lucanis at the endgame portion of the game.

This is all to say that: The Lucanis romance is lacking, and that Bioware has done something like this before and they did a better job then than now.

#lucanis dellamorte #fenris #datv spoilers #da2 #bioware critical

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zenless-zideblog-zero · 9 months ago

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ZZZ sexuality headcanons

Because everyone else seems to do it.

~Phaethon Sibs~

Wise: Biromantic (slight preference for women) Pansexual, but like Theater Kid Bi/Pan. He IS LGBT+, but he's so dramatic about it the only people he ends up falling in love with are those with big dramatic reveals and backstories (Lycaon, Caesar, ETC.)

Belle: Demi on both accounts. She finds herself falling for girls more often but to be fair, an inordinate amount of the people she's around are Girls.

She has some Trans Vibes™ to me, but also just as likely to be cis.

~The Cunning Hares~

Nicole: Likes Women, and Certain men. Aromantic, but willing to be in a romantic relationship.

Anby: Sex positive Asexual, Panromantic. She only recently figured this out since she escaped her mysterious past.

Billy: Okay, him being a Robot, even a sapient one, makes the whole Sexuality/Romanticism thing weird to consider, but given the fact he has some kind of attraction to Monica that seems to be deeper than an emotional infatuation, so like. Straight? But also I reserve the right to change this in the Future.

Nekomata: Okay, as a bisexual it's hard not to make everyone like both men and woman as a form of projection, but also. Shooting her with the Bisexual Beam™.

~Belobog Heavy industries~

Koleda: Pansexual Demiromantic.

Grace & Anton: I am putting these two together because I cannot begin to fathom what is going on inside these People's heads. Should either of them have a sexual and/or romantic partner, they won't care what their partner is, in a way that is impossible to distinguish between Bi/Pan/Omni/Etc and Asexuality.

Simultaneously, I can also see them both being DEEPLY Homosexual, OR in the vein of "HRT Hit me like Freight Train" trans, but not both gay and trans.

Ben: Either the straightest man ever or the least flamboyant gay man in history, because on one hand he's a Bear (Heavyset Hairy Man) and a Bear (Furry) but also he's the accountant, which means he likely was in Business classes in college. I have never met a gay person good at math.

~Victoria Housekeeping~

Lycaon: I think he is like, pan/Omni/etc, but he's so deeply uncomfortable with being open to those he doesn't know he seems like he's demi.

Rina: Again, as a bisexual it's hard not to make everyone like both men and woman as a form of projection. But also, *Bisexuality Beam*

Corin: She really hasn't put much thought into it, but to seem 'normal' her kneejerk reaction to such a question is to claim that she's straight, even though she's still very much figuring herself out.

Sapphic, with unclear feelings towards men.

Ellen: (BisexualProjection.TXT) Sapphic, but Demi with guys, sort of like how Nicole is described.

~Criminal Investigation Special Response Team~

Zhu-Yuan: Comfortably Pan, terribly single.

Qingyi: Same thing with Billy where it's different because she doesn't have "Organic" Impulses, but also she's lesbian.

Jane Doe: She's so deep into the "Flirty Femme Fatale" Persona that she's forgotten what her actual preferences are. When is the flirting real, and when is it a ploy? If it was real would it actually be for this Guy/Girl?

She lands somewhere between Lycaon and Corin's deals in this way. I don't Think it's that clear to her, let alone to anyone else. She just needs to be allowed to be honest with others to be true to herself, and figure it out again.

Seth: Sex-Neutral Ace, Panromantic. He WILL Cuddle you after and he WILL Make you breakfast in the morning.

~Sons of Calydon~

Caesar: Bi, heavily leaning towards men because that's mostly what she can find in her romance stories.

Lucy: (BisexualProjection.TXT) As a revolution against her dad, she went HARD into being a lesbian, but the freedom and kindness provided by the Sons have let her really consider her options. She does like women a LOT, but sometimes ... she wouldn't mind a guy treating her like the princess she wants to be.

BUT TO BE CLEAR. She is a Disaster Lesbian for Caesar specifically. Caesar is basically the pinnacle of Sexual Attraction to which she bases all other potential partners against. She does not realize this and it is part of the reason she fights Caesar so much because of the Weird Feelings™ She gets.

Burnice: Literal Flaming Homosexual. The MOST Lesbian. If the bad word for gay (F**) didn't already have the hitorical context for it's existence, Burnice would be the origin of it.

Piper: Also a lesbian. She had a wife ten years ago, but they've divorced. This cannot be surprising to anyone.

Lighter: GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY-

~Misc.~

Soukaku: A Child. Do not bother.

Soldier 11: A Good Soldier's only love is for their country, and their only marriage is to the code by which they live!

The amount of Psycho-sexual issues this Woman will have if she ever uncovers her own personhood will be Deep and Troubling. and HOT.

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splashdacat · 7 months ago

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✫ALNST INCORRECT QUOTES✫

Ivan: I'm sorry. Please talk to me. Till: Ivan: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure? Till: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking M&Ms.

ੈ✩‧₊˚✫✦✧✦✧‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊✦✧✦✧✫ੈ✩‧₊˚

Sua: I'm so happy, I could kiss you! Mizi: Um…Neat. later Mizi, lying face down on their bed: I said "Neat," Till. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid. Till, reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Mizi. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Ivan confessed their love for me? Mizi: Didn't you thank them? Till: closes the book and looks at the ceiling I fucking thanked them.

Sua: I’m the smartest, wisest person in this group. Till: Really? Then why is your hand stuck in a vending machine? Sua: I paid for my Mars Bar, I’m getting my Mars Bar.

Luka: Ah ready for another fantastic day of being better than Hyuna.

Till: That's ridiculous, Ivan doesn't have a crush on me. Sua: Yes he does. Mizi: Yes he does. Ivan: Yes I do.

Hyuna: As a responsible adult- Mizi: chuckles Hyuna: … As a responsible adult—

Ivan: This is Mizi, they’re… not my assistant, some other word. Mizi: I’m their carer. Ivan: Yeah, my carer. They care so I don’t have to.

Till: Would you rather kill Ivan, or— Sua: Yes, kill them. Till: I didn’t say the other thing— Sua: I don’t need to hear it. Ivan: …I’m feeling a little unsafe.

Sua: What’s the straightest thing you’ve ever done? Ivan: sighs Ivan: I've gotten killed by a man.

Ivan: They called me the B-word. Till: Motherfucker doesn’t start with ‘b’.

Sua: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!

Till: What are you in the mood for? Ivan: World domination. Till: That's a bit ambitious. Ivan: You are my world. Till: Aww… Ivan: Till: Ivan: Till: OH.

Till: Do you ever wonder why you're still single? Ivan, eating mayonnaise straight out of the jar with a spoon: Yeah… I mean, I'm perfect! Who wouldn't want to date me? Till, sighing: I can name a few people…

Mizi: Who do we know that has handcuffs? Ivan: Well Till and I- Till: elbows Ivan Ivan: …wouldn't know.

Sua: Are you okay? Mizi, crying: Yeah, it was just the onions. Sua: Picks up an onion What the fuck did you say to Mizi?

Mizi: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. Ivan: Ivan: I'm gonna tell them. Sua: Don't you dare.

Mizi: Self-care is suppressing all your trauma until it comes back and hits you in the face with the force of 7 very large trucks.

Mizi: hiding something in their coat I think we should adopt another kid! Sua: No. Mizi: Why not? Sua: Because when you say “kid”, you mean “cat”, and we already have fifteen of those. Mizi: unzips coat Sixteen.

Mizi: You don't need my blessing to go kiss Ivan. In fact, I was pretty sure you were already kissing Ivan Till: Nope. Mizi: In that case, as the archbishop of Till's fully awakened gaydom, I give you my blessing to immediately leave and rectify that as soon as possible! Go now, my child, and kiss Ivan right on the lips!!!

Hyuna: When we get back, I'm going to step on you! Luka: Okay, as much as I might enjoy that, Hyuna–

Hyuna, singing: ~Hush, little laptop, don’t you cry.~ Hyuna: ~Momma’s gonna find you some more Wi-Fi.~ Hyuna: ~And if that Wi-Fi doesn’t work…~ Hyuna: ~Momma will destroy the fucking Earth.~

Hyuna, on the phone: Where are you? Mizi: I told you, I’m at work Hyuna: Swear you’re not at Chuck E Cheese again? skee ball machine alarm goes off in the background

Congratulations! You've stumbled upon a secret message from me (the programmer of this generator): HEY. YOU! YOU THERE WITH THE FACE! Look at this pigeon.

(This isn't even for alien stage i jut found this)

Mizi: Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies? Sua: Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials. Till: It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby. Ivan: Rock also defeats baby.

Till: You ever get so tired that you start seeing spiders? Ivan: Me after I take 17 Benadryl and start seeing the hat man. Till: THE WHO? Ivan: Oh is this not a safe space suddenly?

Mizi, watching Till and Ivan fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt? Sua, not bothered by the chaos: It’s fine. They’re too evenly matched to hurt each other. Mizi: Then… who’s the strongest out of you three? Till: Sua. Ivan: Sua. Sua: Me.

✫ੈ✩‧₊˚-ˏˋ You made it to the end,Yay :) ˊˎ✫ੈ✩‧₊˚

#alien stage #alnst #mizi alien stage #alien stage sua #alnst ivan #alien stage till #mizisua #ivantill #Ivansua siblingism #ivanmizi bestieism #alnst hyuna #alnst luka #hyunluka #if you squint #Alnst incorrect quotes

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bigmpregnm · 9 months ago

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Chosen 2022 - Rework

[Story Collection] | [●]

Daniel had always considered himself a regular guy despite what others might say. Sure, he was tall—really tall at 6’5”—but he never thought much of it. Few people were taller than him, but he didn’t pay much attention to this fact. Daniel was also in pretty good shape, weighing a solid 260 pounds, most of it muscle. His friends often called him “stud,” which he found flattering, though, in his mind, he was still just a regular guy.

At 24 years old, he was finally starting to embrace adulthood. He’d graduated from college a few months earlier, landed a great job close to his hometown, and finally felt like things were falling into place. Daniel lived alone in a small apartment, but he didn’t mind. He couldn’t afford anything bigger, and he didn’t need it. It was just him. He rarely had visitors—he didn’t go on dates, and most of his friends had moved a few states away after college. His life might have seemed a bit lonely to some, but he was happy. There was something peaceful about his routine.

On this particular Saturday, October 1st, Daniel made the three-hour drive back to his parents’ house, something he did every few weekends since he lived so close to them. Unlike most guys his age who couldn’t wait to move away from their parents, Daniel enjoyed visiting. However, he arrived unannounced this time and found the house empty. After a quick call to his dad, his parents told him they were spending the weekend at a cabin in the mountains. His father suggested that Daniel stay the night and wait for them to return on Sunday evening. After a moment’s thought, Daniel agreed. It wasn’t like he had any other plan.

But after a while of being alone in the quiet house, boredom hit him, so Daniel decided to head to the local gym for a workout. Maybe he’d run into someone interesting—a good-looking guy or a hot woman to hang out with. Daniel was bisexual, though he kept that to himself. His parents still thought he was “the straightest straight.”

The gym was almost empty when Daniel arrived. A few guys were working out, but none caught his eye. He easily outweighed the biggest by at least 60 pounds, which didn’t help make things more exciting. Still, he set to work on his routine, moving through the machines, pushing his body harder and harder. The more he worked out, the more he noticed the stares from the other guys. They were whispering, pointing, and staring at him in awe.

Daniel upped the intensity with a smirk, adding more weight and reps to the routine. By the time he finished, he had the best pump he’d ever felt. His muscles looked incredible, practically bulging out of his tank top, and he couldn’t help but admire himself in the mirror as his massive dick stirred in his shorts in response. His grin grew more cocky, feeling his thick, foot-long dick painfully hard in his shorts. He was above average in that area, and despite his usual humbleness, he loved to show it off. He couldn’t help but notice the appreciative looks of the others. They weren’t even pretending to work out anymore; they were watching him, eyes filled with lust.

As much as Daniel enjoyed the attention, he knew it was time to wrap up. After a long shower, he gathered his things and started to head out. His thoughts were elsewhere as he exited the gym, so much so that he didn’t notice the man walking toward him on the sidewalk until it was too late. They collided, sending the man’s phone and bags to the ground.

“Oh, I’m really sorry!” Daniel blurted out, immediately crouching down to help.

The man standing before him was about three inches shorter and looked 3 or 4 years older. He had a strong-looking build, with broad shoulders and thick arms. But what caught Daniel’s attention was his belly. It was enormous, round, and firm, almost cartoonishly large. Daniel had never seen a belly this big.

“No, no. It’s my fault. I wasn’t paying attention,” the man replied, awkwardly trying to pull his shirt down over the lower part of his abdomen. As he did, Daniel noticed that the man’s chest was also fat and large, and his hips and butt were thick. The poor guy looked like he hadn’t seen the inside of a gym in years. Still, despite his size, there was something undeniably handsome about him.

As the man struggled to gather his belongings, Daniel instinctively bent down to help. He picked up the phone and, in doing so, his hand accidentally brushed against the man’s belly. To his surprise, he felt the belly shift slightly, as though it had a life of its own. Daniel quickly recoiled, his heart racing.

“Are you alright?” the man asked, grabbing Daniel’s hand in concern.

The moment their skin touched, Daniel felt a jolt of electricity shoot through him, so powerful that it knocked him backward. He landed on the pavement with a thud, blinking in shock. Before Daniel could even fully process what had happened, the man clutched his belly and let out a low groan. His face contorted in discomfort, and he began waddling away, muttering to himself.

“No, no. Not him! Not now,” the man kept saying.

Daniel scrambled to his feet, watching in confusion as the man continued to waddle away, clutching his abdomen as though it were causing him pain. “Hey, are you alright? Do you need a doctor?” Daniel called after him, but the man didn’t stop. He kept moving, his massive body swaying as he hurried down the sidewalk.

Daniel couldn’t help but stare at the man’s massive ass as he retreated, his mind racing with questions. He wanted to follow, to get answers, but something held him back. He stood frozen in place, watching as the man climbed into a car and drove away without a word, leaving Daniel standing alone, more confused than ever.

Later that day, Daniel was in his parents’ house, still processing the strange encounter. No matter how hard he tried to focus on the TV in front of him, the tingling in his hand refused to go away, as if it remembered the brief contact with the man’s belly. Daniel stretched out on the couch, hoping that maybe time and a bit of distraction would help him shake the uneasy feeling. But as he was starting to relax, the doorbell rang.

The sudden sound startled him, and he hesitated for a moment. He was only wearing a pair of boxer briefs, and whoever was outside seemed impatient, the ringing growing more persistent. Not wanting to be rude, Daniel finally stood up, hoping it wasn’t one of his mother’s friends—it wouldn’t be ideal for them to find him nearly naked.

He opened the door cautiously, peeking out, but it wasn’t a familiar neighbor or a family friend. Standing there was the same man he’d bumped into earlier, though he looked far worse this time. His face was slick with sweat, his breath labored, and he was clutching his swollen belly with both hands in discomfort.

“I’m so sorry to bother you, but I really need your help,” the man gasped. “My car broke down, and I just need a place to sit. Please.”

Daniel blinked, taken aback. The man looked even more exhausted than earlier, and his face expressed desperation. Daniel wasn’t sure if the man recognized him from their previous encounter. But the man looked at him so firmly that it made Daniel feel like he knew this visit was inevitable.

After a beat of hesitation, Daniel nodded, stepping aside to let the man in. “Come on in, take a seat,” Daniel said, guiding him toward the couch. “You sure you don’t want me to call for an ambulance or something? You look like you’re in a lot of pain.”

The man softly groaned as he settled onto the couch, his large body sinking into the cushions. “No! Doctors can help me,” he said, his voice strained. “This condition is rare. An ambulance won’t do me any good.”

Daniel couldn’t help but feel concerned as he watched the struggle. Sweat dripped down the man’s face, and his breathing came in shallow gasps. For a moment, Daniel worried that the man might be seriously ill. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Daniel asked, still feeling uneasy. “I don’t want you to—well, you know—pass out or something.”

The man offered a weak smile, though his expression remained strained. “I know this is weird,” he admitted, “but I’m glad you’re a nice guy. My name’s Rupert, by the way. I live a few towns away, but I was in the area and—ugh,” he winced, rubbing his belly again, “needed to pick up a few things.”

Daniel nodded, still uncertain but doing his best to remain polite. “I’m Daniel,” he said. “This is my parents’ house. I’m just visiting for the weekend.”

“Ah,” Rupert said, his voice soft but strained, “that explains it. I hadn’t seen you around before.” He seemed to study Daniel, his eyes lingering on him, before speaking again. “I don’t want to bother, but I just need a few hours to rest. I can pay you if you want. Just name it, and I’ll give you whatever you want,” he said, making Daniel shiver at the offer.

Daniel shook his head quickly, feeling a little guilty at the offer. “No, no, it’s fine. You don’t have to pay me for anything. If you need a place to rest, I’m happy to help. My parents always taught me to lend a hand when someone needs it.”

Rupert’s tired expression softened, and he offered Daniel a grateful smile. “Thank you, Daniel,” he murmured. He adjusted himself on the couch, trying to find a comfortable position. His large frame made it difficult, though, and his shirt had slightly ridden up over the curve of his belly. “I don’t suppose you could help me out of these tight clothes, could you? You seem really comfortable with that hot body of yours on full display.”

Daniel blushed at the compliment and briefly hesitated, his pulse quickening. Rupert was clearly uncomfortable, and his clothes did seem to be straining against his bulk, but the request caught him off guard. Still, Daniel nodded, moving closer to help, longing to see the man fully naked. “Yeah, sure,” he said, his voice slightly shaky. “Let me give you a hand.”

As Daniel carefully helped Rupert remove his sweat-drenched shirt, he marveled at how solid the man’s chest and stomach were. Rupert’s pecs were firm, his nipples thick, and his belly was taut, not at all like the soft fat Daniel had imagined earlier. Daniel carefully helped Rupert remove his sweatpants, revealing a thick lower body that made Daniel gasp. Rupert was wearing a jockstrap, which could barely contain the massive bulge he carried beneath his belly. His dick was huge, and his balls seemed bigger than anything Daniel had seen, a remarkable fact since his own assets were far larger than average.

“Thanks so much, big guy. I’m feeling a bit better,” Rupert said as he leaned back on the couch. “I appreciate this, Daniel,” he added, caressing his massive belly.

Daniel was speechless, his foot-long, hard dick straining the fabric of his boxer briefs. He tried to push the horny thoughts aside and focus on helping Rupert get comfortable. But the man’s almost naked, round body and massive bulge had Daniel hypnotized. He could even feel his ass squirming in need as his eyes observed Rupert’s huge bulge, longing to feel that monster cock stretching his inside to the limit. Daniel had never seen himself as a bottom, but Rupert was so hot, and his dick was so big that Daniel couldn’t resist the urge to caress his own dick through his boxer briefs with desire.

“Do you like what you see, Daniel?” Rupert whispered, his voice purposely sensual. “I’ve always heard that tall people have big dicks, and it seems like the rumors are true,” he said, slowly reaching for Daniel’s crotch to rub the huge fuck tool, making him gasp.

“Yours looks even bigger,” Daniel said, enjoying Rupert’s touch. Then he noticed Rupert’s bulge also throbbing and growing as his dick hardened.

“I bet that massive dick is painfully uncomfortable inside these boxers. You may take them off. I’d be glad if I could take my jockstrap off because you’re making me so hard, Daniel,” Rupert said in a hypnotic tone that made Daniel immediately obey, removing his boxers and helping Rupert remove his jockstrap.

Rupert stroked Daniel’s foot-long dick while his own rose to about 16 inches long and thicker than a soda can. Rupert’s balls were bigger than grapefruits, and Daniel could barely contain his excitement as he observed the magnificent assets.

“I knew you would like this,” Rupert said, still stroking Daniel’s dick with one hand while rubbing his belly with the other. “When I said I could pay you for your help, I really meant it. So, if you want to take a ride, I’m all yours, Daniel.” Rupert winked at Daniel and stroked his dick hard, and the young man could only respond with a firm nod.

“Yes, please. I-I need it,” Daniel said, drooling at the sight of Rupert’s massive hard dick.

Rupert grinned, releasing Daniel’s dick from his grip to use his hands to sit up as best as he could. “So, do you have a bed where we can be more comfortable?” he asked, looking down at his belly. “A big man like me can’t do much with this on the way.”

“Sure!” Daniel replied excitedly. “But it’s upstairs. Do you think you can get there?” He asked, blushing as he gestured to Rupert’s belly and pecs.

Rupert laughs and pats his belly. “I’ll manage. And you’re a strong boy, so if I need any help, I’m sure you’ll handle it. Just help me get up, and I’ll waddle up the stairs.”

Daniel followed Rupert’s instructions and led him upstairs. Rupert was panting as they entered Daniel’s room, so he groaned and took a few seconds to catch his breath as Daniel helped him sit on the bed. Once Rupert’s breathing had steadied, he grabbed Daniel’s dick and pulled him into a long and passionate kiss. His belly pressed tightly against Daniel’s abs, who could feel some movements within, confusing him. But the horniness was stronger than any rational thought.

Daniel got his hands on Rupert’s belly and rubbed large circles over the taut surface, making the man groan. His hands then moved to knead Rupert’s pecs, marveling at how firm and plump they felt. Finally, Daniel reached for Rupert’s hips to squeeze them, making the man moan in pleasure. Rupert’s hands also moved all over Daniel’s muscular torso, turning him on like never before. Daniel was desperate to feel Rupert’s dick buried in his ass; his mind could barely focus on anything but the big man before him.

“I hope you’re ready because you’ll never be the same after this,” Rupert whispered between kisses, caressing Daniel’s pecs.

“I know. Your dick will stretch me so much that no one else will ever satisfy me,” Daniel said, chuckling at how odd the sentence sounded. “Also, you’ll be my first ever.”

“I know. I knew from the beginning that I’d be your first,” Rupert chuckled as they continued making out. “But I didn’t mean it like that. You’ll find out eventually.”

“You’re so hot. I’m glad you’ll be my first,” Daniel said, teasing Rupert’s nipples and making him moan. “I need you to fuck me, but I don’t have any lube. I don’t think your massive dick will fit. I’ve never, you know.”

Rupert grinned, a devilish and playful look in his eyes. “I have a way. Don’t worry, and let me do my magic,” he said and shifted in bed. “Get on all fours, pretty boy. Your world is about to get upside down. Men and women loved this part even before I got this big,” he said, and even though Daniel was nervous, he obeyed.

“Please, be gentle,” Daniel asked, his body shivering as he felt Rupert positioning himself behind him.

Rupert rested his massive belly on Daniel’s back and poked at his virgin hole with the apple-sized head of his dick. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine,” he said, pushing forward to penetrate Daniel.

Daniel moaned when he felt Rupert’s dick touching his ass, desperate to feel it inside. “It won’t fit.”

“It will. You have been chosen for this,” Rupert said and pushed harder, his dick entering Daniel’s hole and making him moan loudly.

Daniel was in pain as Rupert’s dick stretched his hole beyond its limit, but he couldn’t help but long for more. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! More! More! Please!” he begged.

Daniel felt the weight of Rupert’s belly on his back while the man continued pushing inch after inch of thick fuck tool into his needy hole. Daniel’s mind was blurry due to pleasure, but he could feel something moving inside Rupert’s belly. He wondered if it was indigestion or gas problems, which could be the condition Rupert had mentioned. The idea was pretty unappealing but also unlikely since Rupert was too big and heavy to carry only gas in his round abdomen. Even though Daniel was confused, his mind blanked as he felt Rupert going balls deep into him.

“You see? You have 16 inches of dick inside you, and you aren’t dead,” Rupert said. Daniel couldn’t process the words, overwhelmed by the sensation as his body adjusted to the massive intruder. “Are you ready?” he asked, and Daniel could barely come up with an answer.

“Yes,” Daniel whispered, too horny to say anything else.

Rupert’s hips immediately started thrusting, but due to his heavy body, only 4 to 5 inches of his dick slid in and out of Daniel’s hole. Even then, this was more than enough to make Daniel moan louder. His eyes rolled in his head, and his mouth was open, unable to do anything but moan.

“I know how it feels, pretty boy,” Rupert said between groans as he thrust hard into Daniel. “I was in your position about a year ago. I know how intoxicating this is,” he said, but Daniel couldn’t register his words.

Daniel could only think of the massive dick, the balls, the heavy belly, and the plump pecs. He could only enjoy the sensation of Rupert’s dick stretching his hole beyond his wildest dreams. Daniel was so desperate for Rupert’s dick that when the man’s thrust slowed down due to exhaustion, he pushed his hips backward to intensify the sensation. Their movements seemed synchronized, the thrusts getting harder, and the sex sounds grew louder. It felt so good that Daniel wanted this to last forever.

“More! Please! Fuck me harder, fatty!” Daniel mindlessly said, desperate for more.

“Hmm. Soon you’ll see who’s a fatty,” Rupert said, and his thrust regained force and speed, fucking Daniel so hard that the young man almost passed out. Still, he wanted more of the biggest dick on the planet. “Pretty boy, I don’t think I’ll be able to pull out fast enough. I’m so close. Your ass is so good,” Rupert cried out as he felt pre-cum already leaking from his dick into Daniel’s guts.

“Go ahead. Nobody will know if you cum in me,” Daniel responded, already feeling the pre-cum filling his guts as Rupert’s thrust became erratic.

Rupert cried out, and a massive wave of cum exploded from his dick, the stream entering Daniel’s guts with such force that his abdomen started rounding out. “Oh, fuck! It’s so good. Your ass is so good, pretty boy.”

“So much! So much cum. You’re making me blow up,” Daniel said, moving his hand to feel his abdomen getting rounder and feeling his own dick shoot a massive load over the mattress as Rupert thrust a few more times into him. “You made me make a mess,” he playfully added, addressing his round belly and his own cum on his sheets.

“That’s nothing to worry about,” Rupert said, finally stopping cumming as they stayed still, catching their breaths and enjoying the afterglow of the best sex they had experienced.

Rupert pulled his dick out a few minutes later, immediately collapsing onto the mattress, clearly exhausted. Sweat covered his torso, and a white liquid dripped from his pecs. Daniel didn’t ask about that and only lay beside Rupert while he rubbed his belly.

“This was so good, Daniel,” Rupert said, his voice barely a whisper. “We should get some rest. But first, do you mind if I use your bathroom? Maybe take a bath?”

Daniel yawned, feeling suddenly sleepy. “Sure. There’s a large tub in there. All yours,” he said, pointing at his bathroom door. “I’ll be here, waiting for you.”

“Thanks, Daniel. You’re the sweetest,” Rupert said, leaning to the side to kiss Daniel’s belly. “One last thing. Could you help me stand up? It’s a challenge with this huge, heavy belly on the way,” he said, playfully patting his belly.

Daniel smiled and quickly helped him up. “No problem. I’ll do anything you ask me for,” he said, and Rupert smiled.

Rupert pulled Daniel into a long and passionate kiss that made Daniel’s dick stir to life again. “Thanks, Daniel. I really owe you one. Maybe one day I’ll get to pay for what you’ve done,” he said, breaking the kiss. “Now, try to get some rest. This will take a while,” he added, chuckling while waddling toward the bathroom.

Daniel couldn’t help but marvel at Rupert’s size as he watched him move toward the bathroom. The man was so big that each step seemed strangely captivating. The way his belly swayed hypnotized Daniel and made his heart beat faster. He had never felt attracted to fat men, but something about Rupert ignited an unexpected desire in him. He wasn’t even sure if Rupert was actually fat because, except for his ass, his body was firm and his skin taut. A strange combination that Daniel found hot.

Daniel lay back on his bed, exhaustion washing over him. After all that had happened, his own body felt heavy—his ass was sore, and his stomach was distended as if he were five months pregnant. He chuckled at his absurd thoughts and rubbed his midsection absentmindedly, smiling as he thought about the hottie taking a bath in his bathroom.

“Maybe he’ll let me have a go on his ass later,” Daniel mused softly to himself, the playful thought leading him to a slumber. As he drifted off, a loud splash echoed from the bathroom, followed by Rupert’s groan. The sound barely registered in Daniel’s sleep-addled mind as he slipped further into dreams.

“Oh, fuck! Here comes the first,” were the last words Daniel heard from Rupert in the bathroom before he fell deeply asleep.

Daniel awoke hours later, darkness enveloping the room. Disoriented, he blinked, and the memories of the day’s events came rushing back. A smile spread across his face at the thought of Rupert, but as he glanced around, a wave of confusion washed over him. The room was empty. He slowly stood up, feeling the soreness in his hole, and went to turn on the lights and check if he was in the bathroom. However, it was also empty.

“He left?” he whispered, feeling an inexplicable sense of betrayal. “Or did I just dream it?” He shook his head, rubbing his bloated abdomen. The sensation reminded him that it was all too real. Daniel felt like a sexual toy, but at least he had enjoyed the experience.

Returning to bed, he lay on his back and glanced at his nightstand, where a sheet of paper caught his eye. He reached for it and began to read.

“Dear Daniel,

I’m really sorry, but this isn’t my choice. You were chosen, and there’s no other way for things to happen. When we met earlier today, I know you felt something. I also felt it. The same thing happened to me a whole year ago.

You seem like a really nice guy, and you don’t deserve all the trouble this will cause, but it’s out of my control. Let me explain: I was cursed, and now you are. This curse has been passed from one man to the next for centuries, and now it’s on you.

When we met, I was pregnant. It sounds impossible, but I had been pregnant for almost a year. The guy who passed this curse to me also left a note, so I know just the basics:

You’re definitely pregnant now. As soon as you wake up, the babies will start growing, and within minutes, they’ll reach full size. You’ll get huge soon. The word “October” comes from a Latin root that means “eight,” so those who are cursed get pregnant with octuplets. That’s why I went to your bathroom—I had just given birth to octuplets. Don’t worry, I cleaned everything.

The thing is, now you’re pregnant with octuplets, and you won’t be able to give birth until you find the next chosen guy and impregnate him. That’s why I said there’s no other way. I had to get you pregnant to be able to give birth myself. You have to find the next one before Halloween, or you’ll have to wait until next October for another opportunity.

That’s why I spent a whole year with such a massive belly. I couldn’t find you last year, but I really hope you find the right man in the next few days. The guy has to be a virgin, at least his ass, but you don’t need to ask—you’ll feel it when you find the right one. If you don’t believe me, your belly must be starting to grow by now, and it will be at least as big as mine in just a few minutes. After that, you’ll have until Halloween to find the guy and give birth, or you’ll be pregnant until next October.

PN: The curse has a side effect. Your dick and balls will grow to about twice their size, so you’ll be quite a sight. I hope we’ll see each other again someday. Goodbye, Daniel.

Rupert”

Daniel felt a knot form in his stomach as he processed the note. It had to be a joke—some cruel prank. But when he looked down at his bloated abdomen, he felt a rush of horror as his belly began to swell. “No, no, no. This can’t be real!” he exclaimed, panicking. The expansion was rapid and unstoppable. He could feel his dick and balls growing, but soon, his belly obscured them from view. The sensation was overwhelming as his belly reached the size of a basketball and continued growing. He moved his hands to caress his abdomen as he felt something moving inside. He suddenly realized this was what happened with Rupert’s belly throughout their encounter.

His pecs started to swell, firm and full, and to Daniel’s shock, he felt a wetness seeping from his nipples. “No, no, stop,” he pleaded as his chest expanded and milk poured out in steady streams. The pressure in his body reached unbreakable levels. He was caught in the overwhelming sensation of all the changes happening, powerless as the curse took full effect. “Please, stop! Stop!” Daniel whispered again, almost crying. But he knew, deep down, that it wouldn’t stop. It wouldn’t stop until he found the next chosen one.

...

#mpreg #mpreg story

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mikesbasementbeets · 5 months ago

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If Mike is so undeniably gay in your view, why do you think a large portion of the audience genuinely sees him as “the straightest boy to ever exist” or something of that nature? This isn’t asking why people ship Mlvn necessarily- I do think a lot people ship it because it’s currently canon and that’s all there is to it. Nor is it asking why people don’t ship Byler specifically. That’s well documented.

It’s more so asking why a large portion of the audience isn’t convinced there’s anything off in Mike about his attraction to girls to the point where they go to the other extreme and see him as this hyper straight character? I’m not sure if this question makes sense. Basically Bylers of all stripes believe Mike likes boys/Will, and that’s something you either see or you don’t at this point. But gay Mike truthers believe there’s no question that he’s gay specifically. If that’s true, shouldn’t more people either dislike Mlvn all together because of something they sense is off, or simply ship it because it’s canon without going the extra mile to see him as this huge Girl Liker? It doesn’t seem like this is purely due to homophobia or even heteronormativity or even just the fact that he has a canonical girlfriend, because people don’t tend to see Dustin or Lucas in this way, even though Dustin definitely fits the bill

first of all, i think you're dismissing the pervasive lens of heteronormativity through which most people consume media too quickly. the nature of mike's arc actually depends on the audience (and characters) presuming that straight is just the default, and nothing about this show would be what it is if that wasn't the case. especially after season four, seeing how staunchly opposed some people remain to the canon fact that will is gay, i'd say homophobia is most definitely a factor too.

honestly, i don't pay that much attention to most people's opinions outside of my small circle of mutuals here on tumblr (most if not all of whom believe mike is gay) so i can't really tell you with certainty why a "large portion" of the audience perceives anything about the show the way they do. but i can guess. it seems likely that the reason that no one is calling either lucas or dustin "the straightest boy to ever exist" is because... well, they are straight. there's no need to push back against any claims that they aren't. meanwhile there is a large and dedicated portion of the stranger things fandom (byler shippers) who insist that mike is queer. calling mike "the straightest boy ever" is a direct response to that, and to me it doesn't sound like a "genuine belief" - it reeks of overcompensation, which there would be no need for unless there was some amount of doubt (or at least discourse) around mike's sexuality, as well as an undercurrent of homophobia from the people standing so firmly on that.

on top of that, mike was The main character in season one (and arguably onward) and the only one of the boys whose romantic subplot began in that first season and also remained a significant narrative thread in each following (not to diminish lucas and dustin's characters or relationships, but the nature of their romantic plots are very different from mike and el's). from the jump, many people saw mike as an everyman self-insert protagonist whom they could project themselves onto, and when you tell a straight man that that character he thinks is just like him fr is actually queer... idk. certain types of people are probably going to be uncomfortable and unwilling to even look that in the eye.

Basically Bylers of all stripes believe Mike likes boys/Will, and that’s something you either see or you don’t at this point. But gay Mike truthers believe there’s no question that he’s gay specifically. If that’s true, shouldn’t more people either dislike Mlvn all together because of something they sense is off, or simply ship it because it’s canon without going the extra mile to see him as this huge Girl Liker?

basically... no. i don't think this is true. yes, mike is, in my opinion, canonically gay. but that doesn't mean that he is obviously or visibly gay. the reasons i have for believing mike is gay come from the many hours i have spent watching and rewatching, and sitting down to think and study and analyze him specifically, and draw conclusions based on all of my gathered information. not just because i got a "vibe" or "sensed something was off" (outside of the one initial trigger i had to Begin that analysis and join byler tumblr back in 2022 - it was the airport scene for me, and i know others have different moments that triggered their awareness of byler and/or mike/will's sexualities) but because i then spent time compiling and analyzing all of the relevant source material.

mike is a traditionally masculine middle class cis white boy with a girlfriend. on a casual view, especially with the way many people consume media these days, mike is not "undeniably gay." many people have an incredibly easy time denying it. it's easy to overlook and easy to dismiss, because it's a part of his character that's been developed primarily in subtext and in the underlying narrative structure of his character arc. it's not something that is Meant to be immediately obvious to the casual viewer, to the characters in the show, or even to mike himself. if someone watches stranger things and comes away from it thinking that mike is straight? honestly, i don't blame them.

but also... i mean, a lot of people Don't like the mike/eleven relationship. not even to mention all the people who ship byler, a lot of people Do get bad vibes from it. i really don't pay attention, like i said, but even i know that. but because of what i just said about mike, they don't always immediately jump to "oh, it must be because mike's gay." they just think they're boring, annoying, or maybe badly written. i don't know. i think you might be overestimating how many people genuinely like and actively ship them. and those who do will of course voraciously insist that he is straight because 1. there would be no canonical reason for him to be queer unless he was going to end up with will instead of el and 2. there is a frankly much larger majority repeatedly telling them that that is the case.

honestly, i imagine that the people who specifically call mike "the straightest straight to ever straight" are a vocal minority who claim (or may even believe) that their opinion on that is not rooted in homophobia while it really is, because it only exists in specific opposition to the very idea that he could be anything but.

#mikesbasementasks #toxic gay mike posting

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cowboylikeyouu · 1 year ago

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why does everybody hate mcu clint so much??? i’ve read his comics but i still love jeremy renner’s portrayal of him and stuff :(

like i can understand being disappointed in some ways about how the character was changed for the movies, but i can’t understood all the hate for him

for me, personally, it's not that mcu clint is a bad character per se, it's really just the fact that he doesn't feel like clint barton. give him any other name and he's a fine character, but compare him to comic clint and they're in NO WAY the same person.

on one hand you have that responsible, serious husband and well adjusted father of three, who cracks a joke here and there but takes everything pretty serious most of the time, who has his life under control, while everyone else on the team is a mess. he doesn't have that much of a personality, no weird habits or (dis)likes, he really fades in comparison to other team members like tony, who's lines are always on point and who gets a back story and everything.

on the other hand there's this 6'3" disaster of a human being, who lives for coffee, dogs, tv shows and nothing else, is obsessed with purple for no reason at all, grew up in a circus after he escaped his abusive dad, can't take anything seriously and cracks the funniest joke all the fucking time, even makes fun of captain america on a regular basis (at least in the early avengers comics), runs away from himself and responsibility, fucks up nearly all of his relationships because he really sucks at emotions, but then forms those really precious bonds with people like kate, and who's just kind of an asshole really, but simultaneously a fucking ray of sunshine. plus he's deaf and we always love some representation. oh, and mcu clint is like the straightest guy ever, and then there's comic clint who is just so easy to headcanon as this bisexual disaster, and we all know how much fandom loves a queer coded character.

so, the mcu basically took away every fun part of the awesome character that is clint barton and it SUCKS. i really don't hate movie clint as his own character, i just hate hate HATE the fact that he's supposed to be THE clint barton because he IS NOT, and he'll never be. i'm sorry, but jeremy renner just can't pull it off, i'll never understand how they saw bigger-than-steve, blond-mess, purple-loving, coffee-addict comic clint and where like: "oh yeah, let's cast 5' 9" jeremy renner and give his character a huge, healthy family, and no mental health problems, that's just perfect😍"

it's just so sad to be aware of the awesomeness of comic clint and then watch the movies because you're constantly thinking "oh what could've been..." if they did comic accurate movie clint, he'd definitely be a fan-favourite and we'd have tons of edits, and ships, and merchandise, but NO, most mcu fans just forget about him or don't find him special or entertaining (bc his mcu version really really isn't) and he gets left out of all the casual merchandise you can find in random shops (i literally have an album on my phone that's dedicated to photos i took of cheap avengers merchandise with the "o6" avengers sans clint lmao)

you're obviously allowed to love movie clint and jeremy's portrayal, that's great!!! i was an mcu fan way before i even knew just how different comic clint was, and i loved mcu clint so much back then! but after reading the comics and thousands of fanfiction, i'm just really really angry that there isn't a good live action on screen representation of my all time favourite fictional character, and i think many people feel the same :(

okay, i think i'm done lmao.

anyways, shout out to avengers assemble clint, my one true love <3 the mcu should take notes.

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silusvesuius · 10 months ago

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i trust ur opinions the most out of any skaighrhim fan i know of, you just never miss

i wanna know your sexuality headcanons

exactly.. speak! i truly never miss; but thank you 🤗💗💛 here i go precursor i think most skajrimlian males hate women so that will be explaining most thoughts here so just put a pin in that OK?

no asteriks in this post because it looks annoying 2 me ; brace yourselves

ulfric is definitely gay but only with relation to galmar (mutualism), he hasn't really ever liked anyone since enough to pursue. he is also gay only because he detests women and finds them disgusting after spending some time with elenwen in the torture dungeons, the events shuffling his neurons. same as ulfric, galmar is also light in the loafers, except out of choice. i just don't think he'd find the same 'excitement' in women. he sticks with ulfric atm because 1. of duty and 2. he's very much obsessed with the security ulfric's mental illness and need for reassurance brings him. He just makes him feel good! and ulfric's not even necessarily trying to. iykyk rikke is straight only cause she hasn't had the chance to experiment (always surrounded by men). she likes a responsible manly man. currently likes tullius and is failing at life Hard bc of it. probably used to like ulfric and/or galmar back when they were bffs but never got to join their men-only pond bathing sessions tullius is bis😁exual! and it drives him nuts, cause he's not allowing himself to get into male-on-male action fully. imagine that paired with his blossoming altmer fetish. it's a hard life to live let me tell U that ....... likes women when they're interesting enough and is more 'attracted' to men. he's more likely to Like an altmer woman. for men it's just a bonus. a big bonus. if he's an altmer. elenwen My daisy flower rose petal Goddess is straight but also i think she's above having a sexuality. i think she likes others based on how interesting she thinks they are, similar to tullius. don't waste her time elisif is bisexual but not in a way she's ready to comprehend with her frail mind (concussion after ulfric's shout that evaporated her boo boo hubby into slop also threw her against a wall), she just kinda searches for literal crumbs of Anything from anyone, will start liking someone if they're nice to her in many ways. bonus if you see her as a snelf like me: she tends to fall for th*lmor very easily cus she sees them often and likes being in their presence due to feeling some sort of familial elf-tie with them (tired of being around humans all the time) hmmmm.... these are most important so i'll talk about anyone else under the cut

fasendil my cuteums is the straightest man(mer) aliiive i think it's cus of the empire's influence. as i mentioned before tullius would have an eye on him but fasendil would swiftly reject him and lose any respect for him completely. he and rikke would be cute and have a very lukewarm Milk boiled water unsalted soup relationship, saying this nicely, i like them talvas my sweety ugly butterfly Apple fairy (sorry i didn't mean to call you that) is gay but he's not registering that information yet in 'canon' events; he's not really interested in love and isn't seeking it out. can't you see he's preoccupied.. with learning.. unlike you lowlifes.! probably never been attracted to a girl, doesn't think about them. he feels happier when praised by men, too. neloth is .... it's hard to tell tbh, but first and foremost i'd say he likes them YYYYOUNG (around 20-30 in human years) and prefers guys over women, just cus he thinks women are harder to deal with, annoying and r fussier. he probably isn't a fan of the usual affection that comes from women, makes him cringe really hard. prefers more of a hesitant type. why not say smth about this bozo: morgul is defffo gay. Bruh you left orc society to hang with ugly twink elves in some ashy stranded island?? 😂😂 bye maybe slitter lets him hit sometimes (is the pay that good?) lleril is an interesting case to me actually, i just remembered when i was reading up on adril it was mentioned he doesn't sleep in the same bed as his wife and it made me laugh really loud; Wow........ explains it all rly. lleril probably thinks nobody can tell he's gay even tho everyone.....can.......... and adril is literally walking around that dinky town doing backflips for him so.. Hm ancano is gay and likes the younger impressionable ones because nobody cares about his ugly ass ever. those always tend to be altmer, or just thalmor subordinates savos is also a blooming pansy with No experience. i think he's pretty good at making his feelings not known (and generally tends to not interact with a bunch of people) so yeah....... nothing LMFAOO this is why he needs some talvas twink action stat i think i ran out of thoughts for now but if anything else comes 2 mind i'll add it later😝

#ask

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lynlyndoll · 2 years ago

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IDOL LIFE - crazy people + lia

genre: smau, fluff, idol au, possible smut hints but i don't think it will be something very detailed (?), angst maybe (sad things WILL happen.)

pairing: idol! han x æspa 5th member! reader

appearances and specifications: ok, so it will be the whole skz, the whole æspa, as for the bestie group that y/n has: yuqi from (g)i-dle, lia and yuna from itzy, minji from newjeans. also, felix is childhood besties w y/n (I HAVE AN UNHEALTHY OBSESSION WITH BEING BESTIES W FELIX IDK). In this au, I invented a new award show, called Korean Music Award, (shortly KMA) so I won't interfere with any other award show that has amazing MCs. Also, this is my first time doing a smau (smile through the pain and struggle 😔) so yall, please be kind😞.

synopsis: Since you have debuted, you have made lots of friends from different groups that you admired. And one group you admired was your bestfriend's group, Stray Kids. Since they debuted, you have been a devotated stan, always buying their merch and albums, always watching their lives, videos and m/vs. However, you haven't had the right time to actually meet everyone face to face, being incredibly occupied with your own group's activities. As you were already a group for over 1 year, you have been selected for being an MC for KMA. What happens though, when you see that you have to MC with one of your biggest idols?

yuqi (yuqisacutie)

-> group: (G)I-DLE

-> loves y/n so much, literally her bigger sister

-> met y/n while they were still trainees. they were in a store and she heard some humming coming from a girl with big headphones on her head, which was y/n. y/n noticed her and she smiled to yuqi. they met a few more times in the store and then they started talking

-> the groupchat's funniest person

-> people may think she is serious sometimes, but she is actually joking

lia (julyia)

-> group: ITZY

-> sweetest person in the groupchat

-> people say she is the sane one out of them

-> she isn't. but she does take the mother role in the group since she feels the most responsible there

-> she is right about that.

-> met y/n through yuna, actually

-> then she joined the group

yuna (richbitchyuna)

-> group: ITZY

-> y/n's #1 bully, but she is actually her bestfriend since they met

-> y/n met yuna when both of their classes at school were over and they bumped into each other. y/n recognized yuna immediately and before apologizing, yuna said it wasn't a big deal and in order to "pay" for her mistake, y/n should take her to the café next to the school

-> that's what they did and found out they have a lot of things in common.

-> yuna tried to make a quick arrangement once, when she found out y/n's bias is han, but y/n found out sooner then she should and yuna's plan failed

minji (wassupminji)

-> group: NEWJEANS

-> has 4 kids, but isn't really invested, she treats them more like sisters

-> there isn't someone who is more random than minji, she could say the most random stuff with the straightest face EVER.

-> met y/n during MAMA awards, she thought æspa's performance was amazing, so she went in their cabin and talked with the members

-> friendship at first sight between her and y/n, but she is also friends with ningning

taglist!!

(to be added, just write a comment)

@agi-ppangx @lisaaassophhhieee @hyunjin-lover20 @chrizzlaptop @ilychee08 @ylixbok

#han #jisung #han x y/n #han angst #han fluff #han x reader #han jisung #han scenarios #straykids x yn #straykids x you #straykids x reader #straykids #stray kids #kpop x y/n #kpop x you #kpop x reader #aespa 5th member #aespa

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maninthemiroh · 11 months ago

Text

My CM DR as Incorrect Quotes P2

John: Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance? Strauss: No. Me: No. John: Didn't think so.

Dave, to Spencer and I: Woah, dude, premarital hand holding? That’s totally not groovy! Me, squinting: How many wives have you had? Dave, putting his hands up, placatingly: Touché.

Aaron, to Emily and Luke: I need both of you to help, and by "help,” I mean “do literally anything.” Emily, smirking deviously: Anything? Aaron: Aaron: I sense that I’ve made a mistake.

*While the team is in a shootout* Tara, trying to warn about the location of an enemy: To the left! Derek: Take it back now, y'all!

Spencer: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was, “Woah, it’s canon,” and I think that maybe things like that are why Corvid made me get tested, too.

Dave to Kate: If we’re in trouble, just throw JJ, Aaron, and Corvid at the problem, then hope for the best.

Spencer: Are you having another depressive episode? Me: A depressive episode? Me: I'm having a depressive series, and we're just on season one.

John: I can’t tell if you’re a genius or just incredibly arrogant. Dave: Well, on a good day, I’m both.

Alex, discreetly texting Kate: Alex, help! Me and Corvid are being kidnapped! Kate: Where are you? Alex: We’re with some strange man in a car, and Corvid is asleep. Help! Kate: I'll call Spencer. Spencer, answering his cell: Y'ello? Kate: Alex texted me and said she and Corvid were being kidnapped. Spencer: Whaddya mean, they're both with me- Spencer:Spencer, hanging up: I'll call you back. Spencer: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD! Alex: WHO ARE YOU!?

Derek on Monday, glueing a dime to the sidewalk: Heh, heh, heh. Derek on Wednesday, walking down the street: Ooh, a dime! Must be my lucky day :)

JJ, holding the aforementioned item out to me: I made this friendship bracelet for you.Me, squinting: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.JJ, retracting her hands: You don’t have to wear...Me, snatching it from her: No, I’m going to wear it forever, fuck off.

Matt: Emily, what did you do!?Emily: I took your advice. I stopped running from the problem, and I tackled it head on. Matt: I meant try emotional honesty, not murder!!

Tara: What’s the straightest thing you’ve ever done? Matt, embarrassed: Killed someone.

Derek: Working sucks.Derek: I want to be a malewife where my only responsibilities are being sexy and cute.

Kate: You need a hobby. Penelope: I have a hobby! Kate: Hitting Luke isn't a hobby.

Linda Barnes: *Is lying on the floor with her eyes closed*Dave: Hey, is she sleeping or dead?Kate, shrugging: Hopefully dead, I hated her. Dave, nodding: Yeah, me too.Linda Barnes, sitting up: First of all, fuck you guys.

Me: You’d be stupid to genuinely try and fight me. Luke: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

Tara: They made Penelope cry!Matt: Penelope always cries! Penelope, already tearing up: That's not true!

Derek: Don’t worry, I have a permit.Aaron: This just says, “I can do whatever I want.”

Emily: I like your new pants! Spencer: Thanks, they were 50% off!Emily, winking: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. Spencer: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.Emily: That’s... not what I meant. Spencer: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Luke.

John and I: We’re not funny, we’re just really mean, and people think we’re joking.

Matt: Thank you for not saying, "I told you so." Me, shrugging: When you’re as right as I am, you don’t have to say it.

Derek: Is this about me? Luke: No. Derek: Then I've lost interest.

John: Do you have a second to talk about the environment?Strauss, drunk again: Do you have a second to eat my farts?

Penelope to Spencer: You should change your passwords to "incorrect." Then, every time you forget it, the system will remind you, “Your password is incorrect.”.

Emily: Corvid likes to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.

Matt: What’s up with you? Luke: What do you mean?Matt: You’ve been nice, helpful, and actually funny all day. What’s your game?

John: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems. John: Weight loss? Drink water.John: Clear skin? Drink water.Me: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.

Spencer, talking to Matt: You’re trying to lure me into a false sense of security! Well, joke’s on you! I’ve never been secure in my life! And I’m not about to start now!

Dave: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this? Spencer, sighing: Fine, we're cowabunga.

Alex: Hey, wanna hear a funny joke?Me: I only like dark humor.Alex, turning the lights off: What do you call a fake noodle? Me:Alex: An impasta!

Aaron: I just had a long talk with Luke and Penelope about hitting, and now they are yelling, “It’s my turn to perpetuate the cycle of violence” before hitting each other.

Derek: If I run and leap at Corvid, they will most certainly catch me in their arms. Derek, running towards me: Incoming!Me: No! I’m holding coffee!Me, resigned: *Drops coffee and catches Derek*

Me: Dammit, you ruin everything! Strauss: You're welcome.

Strauss: Gagak isn’t answering my calls. Aaron: Allow me. Strauss: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi- Me, answering on the first ring: Hello?

Tara: Are you sure Spencer’s going to be able to handle that Ikea furniture? They’re not very good with technical stuff… JJ: Why are you worried? Ikea is easy to navigate! Everything’s color coded, numbered, and there’s even an assembly robot option to make it even easier for him, which we’ve obviously opted in for. All they need to do is press the clearly labeled ON button, scan the QR code on the front of the box, and it’ll take care of the rest. Even a monkey could do it! *JJ’s phone rings* Spencer: Hey, so I’m at Lowes… Tara: … Tara: I should have gone with the monkey.

Me: I told Spencer to grab snacks for everyone.Derek, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes fruit snacks? *Aaron, Alex, Dave, Emily, Luke, Penelope, and Spencer raise their hands.*

Penelope: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Me: Okay. Penelope: And make out during the scary parts. Me: Th- Me: The scary parts. Me: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl?

Luke: *Is hugging me*. Penelope: Hey, it's my turn to hug Corvid! Penelope: *Grabs Corvid* Emily, kicking down the door: What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now is my time slot! Luke: No, it's still my turn! Me, suffocating: Guys, you know I barely like affection as is, now you’re trying to schedule it…? Luke: But we need the moral support! Penelope: And you're like a giant teddy bear! Emily: If I don't hug you right now, I think the depression will kick in and my body will stop functioning. Me, tiredly: Fine.

Tara, on the phone: Where are you? Emily: I told you, I’m at home. Tara: Swear you’re not at Chuck E Cheese again? *Skee ball machine alarm goes off in the background*

Supervillain!Unsub: I have an army. Matt, shrugging: We have a Corvid.

JJ: I need life advice. Penelope, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.

Luke: The best part of an Oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it. Me: Darkness without light is an abyss, and light without darkness is blinding; you cannot have a coin with one side. Luke: YO, SOCRATES, IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!

Spencer: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies. Dave: You’re too young to have enemies. Spencer: You don’t even know.

End note: All quotes, though many were modified, originally hail from this link!

Divider credits: @/i-mmaculatus and @/v6quE

Taglist: @amiivrse @colettecrybaby @the-badass-penguin

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