#the story is convoluted as fuck and im having a bit of a hard time keeping up

[azalen-draws]

Help my art style keeps fucking changing LMAO

Anywho, art dump timeeee

I think I may be getting better, dunno, I'm just yeeting shit to the void and seeing what fits

[trauma-bot]

ouuuu i need the lore... i love selfships so much.... nuze lore please.... if you want..........

YAY YAY YAY. im gonna try so hard to keep this somewhat brief to leave room for any more questions but we'll see how that goes <3

so to preface this E does have a toyhouse bio that you can look at if you're curious! it has a more in-depth look at his personality and whole deal. you can also look at his gallery if you'd like; thats where his references and other artwork for him are stored!

ALRIGHT. RAMBLING UNDER THE CUT

a lot of it is very much to fulfill my weird convoluted fantasy of "what if i lost all hope for a future that i exist in and was convinced that i was going to succumb to the claws of my trauma and rot there forever (basically dooming myself in my own narrative) thus becoming the absolute worst version of myself in what i believe to be my final moments only for someone (two someones in this case) to love and believe in me so much that, despite it all and despite everything that was done to me and that ive done myself, gives me enough hope to undoom myself". i'm normal i swear.

also just generally im a big big sucker for stories about survivors of trauma being there for each other, and in that way i get a lot of comfort from nuze.

SO. NUZE LORE... (once again shout outs to my bestie night for coining their ship name lol)

i guess ill break it down like this, starting with N/E. (alt. ship name being pupE love (coined by another bestie of mine charlie)) E knew N back at the manor and they were close friends then, N was the first person E came out as trans to (by that i mean. N helped E work through his tumultuous robo gender feelings in real time) and N was the only one E really felt comfortable around. (other than tessa! E was also friendly with V back then as well<3)

however, E was also badly traumatized by his time in the manor, and of course Canon Events happen. E, as a disassembly drone, is now much more muted, detached, numbed, and devoted completely to their directive. he's very very very repressed and his specific brand of memory issues as well as the fucked up memory dreams causes him to dissociate and spiral a lot. he also distanced himself a lot from N for reasons even he isn't entirely privy to. something in his hardwiring just told him that N would be safer the less E stayed with him. and N is!!! really saddened by that!!! its normal! E has to learn to not be an emotionless object and actually let himself feel and need and yearn, and N is a big help with that (uzi is as well ofc!!)

i have to skip past a lot of things for the sake of not making this post so many words long but regardless; N/E is really special to me because they are two people who are in a very similar and scary situation and have had to see each other get hurt or even killed in many clone instances in many reset memory files. and its the just. the willingness to love despite knowing what happened to you and even witnessing it at times, to say "this is not all we are" and break free from those iron chains despite knowing how much it'll hurt and how dire everything is. E is so convinced that its all worthless and he couldn't be anything more than what he's used for, while N desperately wants a better life for himself and those he loves, and he's gonna drag E kicking and screaming to hope and healing. <3

NOW. UZIE :3 (alt. ship name is angelfangz)

E is MIA from the squad until like right after episode 3 canonically happens and is found by uzi and N. uzi does not trust E at first not one bit LMFAO. she doesn't hate him but like. her only frame of reference for murder drones besides N is V and J. and also E is like. he's weird and says weird cryptic things and is not exactly the easiest to talk to due to how off-putting and repressed he is. at first E is like "why is there a worker drone. in the spire. and we're all okay with this" but after actually getting more context behind Everything he's curious about her more than anything. he has to be swayed into betraying his initial directive (kill all worker drones. yknow) only because thats like all he knows how to do and would feel aimless without it, but once he is he's loyal to his new directive (help uzi figure out what the hell is going on with this solver business). yeah he treats himself like an object that can only find worth in being ordered around but we dont have time to unpack all of that right now. he unlearns it later i prommy.

uzi is like. spitefully resistant to getting to know E on a deeper lever, but this is uzi "no bonding thing" doorman and she cannot help but care about E and be concerned about his behavior. she will notttt admit that however and stubbornly holds her ground. it isnt until post-episode 4 when E and uzi are fully vulnerable around each other.

uziE is. so so very important to me. uzi has been outcasted and isolated for so much of her life, she's been treated as a weirdo freak monster by her classmates and becomes outwardly prickly and aggressive to cope with how little affection and reassurance she's been given. i know she's internalized it to mean there is something wrong with her that everyone else can see, and its only a matter of time before those who actually care for her see it too and leave her. and i know that the events of episode 4 confirmed it in her mind, that she is a freak monster and everyone was right to avoid and hate her, even though she never asked for any of this. thats a very familar feeling to me- and by extension E. E recognizes the feeling of being made into a monster against your will, of fearing and being unable to trust yourself, and of feeling like its best for everyone's safety to hide away. E and uzi find solace and comfort in each other for that. they dont see each other as broken irredeemable monsters, so maybe they aren't.

im stopping here because holy shit this got long but THERES A LOT MORE LOLL. tldr nuze altogether is very very important to me and i could talk about them forever and ever. they love each other all so much and they grow and heal and forgive and aaaaughhhgh<3 im normal.

[bonesandthebees]

theres so much stuff to talk about im getting overwhelmed (/pos) idk what to focus on first and its not even about the chapter itself yet lmao

latin series and chapter titles? oooh cool, more stuff to look into

like "we keep the names bare"? thats metal as fuck

"so it happens" in itself is interesting and very fitting but in latin its just so much more fancy

I love how their official names are different (and unusual), like wilum, nikanna, tomys, alecs

once again you have something special about names and looking back to the series name I have a feeling there will be moments where the choice between formal name and nickname will be important

(the lengths stories in english have to go to show the border between formal/informal addressing /hj, names have a different beat to them but the technique is actually similar

its a bit sad actually, I feel like so many english texts could go bonkers if "thou" and "ye" still existed and didnt get merged into you)

I mean we already saw something similar in the prequel with phil calling wilbur wilum to show importance of the situation

gotta say, the importance of names is always a bit different and never boring and I love it

origins characters and character traits oh my that opens up so many possibilities i love the sound of this

also just the phil we see in the prequel has some "harsh" qualities, setting kids up against each other which fits o!phil much more than c!phil, so many new traits to play with

excited to see how this might change the characters and relationships and stuff (sandduo is bound to be interesting, not that they werent before, but yk)

looking at tags there's no major character death, should I probably not mention that in comments as not to spoil anyone? or spread fake news

there are other tags that sound really fun tho

before reading the summary I havent even realised that we havent heard about tommys role in all this before in neither the prequel nor the snippets we got

hes thirteen and a problem? oh its going to be a blast

cant wait to see the worldbuilding and fashion in this, youve been so excited about it for so long and I havent seen hotd so im ready to be impressed

the latin series title is one I like quite a bit :)) also the only latin chapter title i think we're going to have is the first one (it also translates to 'so it begins' which I just thought was fitting). maybe the last one too to round it out but i dont plan chapter titles ahead of time so we'll see lmao

oh I had such a fun time coming up with the names. I also struggled so fucking hard LMAO. I think Nikanna is my favorite of the names I came up with, although I thought Alecs and Tomys were clever since it's just alternate spellings. also it hasn't been mentioned in text yet, but Sam's full name is Samuel Aswyn and I'm pretty happy with myself for coming up with Aswyn as a surname equivalent for 'awesamdude'

but yeah there's always going to be an element of importance given to names in a fic like this. like, it's one of my favorite tropes to use. it definitely isn't going to have the same weight as names in glass and stars did, but it'll be there for sure.

you get it though. like, we would benefit SO much if we still used thou and ye because we could go insane in the membrane with the way we write interactions between characters. but alas i just have to create convoluted worldbuilding rules about the roles of names to get my point across instead...

yeah I mean stars!phil definitely had elements of o!phil in him, but it'll definitely be more obvious in rose. also, ngl, a huge part of why I decided to throw osmp in the tags was because I just wanted to write o!sneeg. I fucking love o!phil and o!sneeg's dynamic they're so funny together so when I was like "holy shit I could put sneeg in rose" I knew I had to do it

bestie I don't know where you're looking because major character death is 100% in the tags. like, go do a double take it's in the archive warnings.

yeah a part of me wanted to keep tommy's role entirely a secret until his character got introduced in ch 2, but then I realized I couldn't really write a compelling summary without throwing him in somewhere so I had to bite the bullet and ruin the surprise a bit lol. but yeah he's gonna be GREAT

aaaa thank you so much I'm so glad you're excited for this!! I really hope you guys like this journey we're gonna go on

[athena14044]

She-Hulk Readthrough part 2

I'm starting a new post bc the previous one was getting really long

All-New Savage She-Hulk, Fall of the Hulks, and some other random stuff

All-New Savage She-Hulk

ewwww what the fuck

Lyra I'm going to get you out of there girl

that was a cool story except for the part where she was sent back in time to FUCK NORMAN OSBORN

Fall of the Hulks

Besties I was really trying. I was reading things that Jen didn't appear in just to try to understand this event. This is the most convoluted shit imaginable. I can't keep track of who knows what. I can't keep track of who is working with who. I can't keep track of anyone's goals here. I hate this and yet I am also deeply fascinated by it.

FotH Alpha: This has the Red Ghost and the Super-Apes so I am legally required to like it

FotH Red Hulk 2: I'm so confused.

FotH Gamma: I'm unsure if anyone knows that General Ross is Red Hulk at this point so I feel like I didn't get as much out of this as I could have

Hulk v2 20: Red Hulk kills a Super-Ape :(

Hulk v2 13-24: I am really trying to understand what's going on. The way 24 explored the difference between Bruce and Ross and how they mirror each other was really cool though

Incredible Hulk v1 606-610: I'm so confused

FotH Savage She-Hulks: I really like how Jen is acting as a mother figure for Lyra since Thundra can't

Incredible Hulk v1 611: IM CRYING A LITTLE BIT THAT WAS REALLY POWERFUL

Worth Reading

Marvel Divas: this is kind of a bizarre friend group and Jen was barely in it but I liked the art and it was really sweet 🥺

Wolverine v3 73-74: Jen was in 1 panel in 73 and 74 wasn't even on my reading list but for some reason, despite the fact that I don't like Wolverine, 73 intrigued me enough to read the next issue

She-Hulk: Cosmic Collision: I guess this goes here? As a Jen-centric story? But it was weird and I had a hard time following it.

Incredible Hulk v1 600: THIS FUCKED

Incredible Hulk v1 601-605: I'm enjoying the Lyra back-up story

Not Worth Reading

Mighty Avengers 22-23: SLOTT!! Also this was stupid idk

Planet Skaar Prologue: ...it vaguely reminded me of the 2001 Hulk annual...

Fantastic Four v1 569: I'm completely lost and Jen was only in 1 panel

Strange Tales v5 1-3: It is fascinating what they could publish in 2009...

Avengers vs. Atlas 3: ok this one is giving the 2001 Hulk annual and also brought up Juggernaut

[bobthebuilderhasallmyuwus]

DBH rarepairsweek! RK1700 - Wrong Blind Date!

I wasnt quite sure what a wrong blind date was ┐('～`;)┌ , so I just gave it my best shot! (◡‿◡✿)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Connor glances around the room once more. his eyes follow the line of tables set up in the middle of the room. Then they shimmer when he looks up at the chandeliers, and once more look with awe down at the marble floor beneath him.

“Yup”, Connor thinks. He was definitely in over his head. 

He would have let out an external sigh but his lack of air filled lungs prevents him. 

“I can't believe I let hank convince me to do this”, he processes. 

Yes it was only 2 weeks ago that Hank walked up to him and placed a card on his desk. At first Connor was confused, but after picking up the card scanning it, he realized.

“Oh” He responded. “Hank.. You really didn't have to.”

“Nonsense!” the hefty man replied. “Android rights are finally being put in action! This is exactly the kinda thing you should do to celebrate.”

Connor shifted in his seat as he took a glance back at the card.

“Androids Welcome!” It said. “First Ever Inclusive Blind MatchMaking Event!”

He looked back up at Hank and tried to force a smile, but it must have come off as awkward as he felt it was because Hank pulled up a chair and sat down next to Connor.

“Look.” He said, “I know this isn't really your thing, and truth be told it ain’t really my thing either.” He let out a sharp breath. “But, things are different now, androids are people now, you are a person now Connor.” Connor felt his words pierce his heart. “I want you to experience the world, and do fun things, and do pretty fucking dumb things, and I just want to see you feel what it means to be alive.” Hank gave Connor a warm pat on his shoulder. “So what Im saying is, you don't have to go, not if you don't want to, but maybe consider it eh? You never know what'll happen.” And he had him, hook line and sinker, when Hank sounded so sincere about Connor’s life, Connor couldn't help but feel inspired to live. 

So here he is, “living”, at a way too fancy gala for a way too minimal event. He fake sighs once more and looks at his watch. He tried to convince Hank that he didn't need a watch as he has an internal clock but Hank smoothed talked Connor, again, into wearing it. “6:55″ It reads, the event was about to start in 5 minutes. He’s surprised by the amount of people that showed up, most of them being androids but there were a few humans in the mix.

The instructions for participating in this were weirdly convoluted. What was supposed to happen is that every person here was given a name tag with a number, and eventually would be called to sit at the tables. Each table has a barrier in front of them and to the sides, So you couldn't see who you were talking to and the people next to you wouldn't intrude. You're given 5 minutes to talk to the other person and once everyone has talked to each other at least once you’d find the number you had chemistry with the most.

Connor thinks it's pointless because androids have pristine audio processing and can recognize individual subjects by their voice alone, but hey, whatever makes people happy. 

“Everyone” Calls out a lady as she bangs a fork on a wine glass. The attention immediately shifts to the lady in the room. “Thank you for coming to this first ever inclusive experience, I know things are difficult with tensions between humans and androids but, we here at the Elijah Foundation want you to feel as included and equal as possible.”

Connor rolls his eyes, the speech is pushed out of an overly cheery smile, of course it has his name on it, everything chaotic does. “Please if you would sit at the respective tables, we’ll have a timer that will indicate for row A to switch to the seat to the left, and row B to the right.” Connor dreadfully heads to one of the chairs and takes a seat. He sees a microphone in front of him, assuming he’s supposed to speak into it, he tests it out. He hears his voice comes out distorted and deep, “Ah, So that's why”, He thinks. It seems they did have a measure for their auditorial machinations after all. 

“Alright everyone seated?” The lady says in an overly-cheery tone once more. “Lets begin!”

Connor sits in front of the mic nervously, his hands gripping his knees. Its already been 10 seconds and the other person hasn’t said anything. He decides to go first. 

“Hello, Im Number 42, how about you?”

“....41″

Hearing both his own and his partners voice so distorted is very unpleasant, he can't see how anyone could find this to be an enjoyable experience. 

“Well, how's your day been 41?”

“.....Fine”

Connor can feel his impending doom. 

“Ah I see, A-Anything you like to do for fun?” 

“......Not much”

Connor put his hands on his head and his elbows on the table, How is he supposed to talk?! Is this even talking at all?! He had to stop giving into Hank, this is beyond torture. After 15 long seconds of silence, his partner finally spoke up.

“Why are you here?”

Connor paused, why is he there? For Hank? For living? For himself?

He replies, “Honestly? I don't know, I don't come to things like this often, well I've never been to one at all, I feel.... out of place.”

“...Me too.” Despite the distorted sound, Connor can tell his partner went a little bit softer there for a second. He’s glad to know he’s not the only one.

“So... why are you here?” He asks.

“.....Its a trivial story”

“Trivial? Trust me, Nothing you can say will get more trivial than what I'm doing right now, you can tell me.”

His partner pauses for a few seconds and then begins to respond.

“Got into a fight with a..... coworker.”

“Coworkers can be difficult, I certainly have some.. hard to work with people in my office. What did you fight about?”

“He’s the one that kept going on and on about this event. Kept shouting out how meaningless this was, and how anyone who goes here’s just looking for an android prostitute.”

“Oh geez, Im sorry to hear that. I hear a few remarks like that where I work too.”

“Anyways... his voice got annoying, so I told him to shut it. He crumpled a pamphlet and threw it at me, asked if I was thinking about a career change. So I told him I was, Unfortunately, My pride got in the way, and I vowed to come back with an android who was most definitely not a prostitute.”

“Pfftt...” Connor let out a smile.

“See? Its trivial, trivial! I should of just kept it to myself.”

“No.. No.. Its..just..so...ridiculous” Connor lets out a few giggles.

His partner stays silent. “I mean, seriously, “android prostitutes” How generic can you get?”

He hears his partner let out a few snickers of his own. “Yeah.... it is pretty generic isn't it?”

“Totally. You know what one of my coworkers told me? “Where’s Dorothy tin man.”” 

“Wooooooooooow” Says his partner. “Generic and unoriginal, how surprising.”

“Pfffft yeah, you drink coffee for a living I think you can step your insult game up”

His partner lets out a full laugh this time. “I once poured a tablespoon of salt in my coworkers coffee and saw him drink it completely without noticing.”

“And they say we’re the advanced ones” Connor says letting out a few more laughs. 

“Yeah..well, Now I might just have to get a prostitute, I don't think ill be able to do the rest of this”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, Im not a prostitute.”

All of a sudden, he hears an alarm go off. “Thats it for the first round everybody! Lets move on!” Connor hadn't notice time pass at all, he was actually enjoying himself to the point that seconds didn't feel agonizingly long. 

“Thank you for talking to me” Connor says, a bit disappointed he has to move on.

“...No, Thank you 42″

His face flushes a tad as he hears his partner talk in the most gentle voice he’s used all night. He gets up and sits in the chair next to him, knowing that even if every other talk goes wrong, at least he had one good thing to recollect. 

After an hour of talks ranging from really awkward to just okay, it was finally over, and everyone went off searching for the number they truly felt was the one. Connor finally let his shoulders relax, he had done it. If he was going to be honest, there wasn't anyone Connor wanted to talk to more. Although his chat with 41 was pleasant, Connor would much rather go home and spend the night petting sumo. He heads for the exit, its a large double door and as he places his hand on one knob, someone else places their hand on another. 

He looks up to see

“Richard?”

“Connor?”

“What are you doing here?” They say simultaneously.

He glances at the tag on Nines’s suit. 

“You’re...”

“41″ Nines responds. “And you're...”

“42″ Says Connor. They take a long gaze at each other, taking the time to process what is happening.

“So.. the coworker you were talking about-”

“Gavin” responds nines. “...... Did he really call you tin man?”

Connor lets out a smile “Did he really drink a tablespoon of salt and not notice?” 

Nines smiles back. 

The interrupting sound of fork on glass comes again. Connor and Nines look towards the source. “For everyone who has paired up, we have a follow up date in the other room!” They look back at each other, still not saying anything for a few seconds. “If its okay with you.... Id like to continue complaining about Gavin as long as you do?”

Connor smiles. “There isn't anything I’d rather do.” He places his hand on nines and they both walk off together. 

@dbhrarepairs

[imforeman]

Spyfall Part 2

I reeaalllyyy liked spyfall part 1, I was super excited for this episode. i thought whittaker was the best shes ever bn in the role last ep and was excited abt sacha dawain. i tried REALLY hard to like this ep- but...

I audibly told Chris chibnall to fuck off multiple times.

Just tripe. I tried so hard to like it I did.

Like- the plotting was a mess. Not much happened throughout the whole thing? Then it resolved rlly quickly w/o explaining anything. Like they overexplained little things then at the end they didn’t explain any of the important stuff. Like what was anyone’s motive??? They had no plan. I was none the wiser at the end of Ep 2 than I was at the end of Ep 1. Also why was Barton... like that??? Like... Idk idk idk

Ehm... Chris chibnall hearing ppl say that the companions didn’t ask the doctor enough questions last series, then being like yeh they did but it just happened off screen, then having Grahame tell us how many times he’s asked her abt her past like 3 times at least in the first story. Then she just told them anyway? Where’s the mystery? The intrigue? Milk it. That just felt suuuuper clumsy and overly apologetic for the lack of tardis team friction last series. And I hope that’s not the end of it. There. She told them. Now they can go back to how they were. Talking of backtracking- going from a totally new series with no returning enemies to a second series where it’s all gallifrey and the doc’s childhood and the master..? Like. Strike a balance maybe?

Stop talking to me abt gallifrey. Why is it destroyed again. This has been done before. What’s the point. I don’t care. I don’t want to see omega. Or rassilon. Or the other. Not any of them. I’m just concerned abt going too deep into gallifrey lore. Leave that to the fans. It’s for headcannons. I swear they’re gonna make timelords humans from the future or smthn I’ll FLIP!

Like it also stole sm stuff. The master stabilising an alien race to exist in present day earth? The master sending the TARDIS team on the run? Bn done. It was incredible. You can’t hold a candle to it. Stop tryna rip off better writers. Felt he just tried to recreate the Simm Tennant dynamic then throw in some classic Who references and ignore Gomez’ existence. Just do smthn a bit new plz. Just- the master’s whole plot and characterisation was nothing interesting or that we hadn’t seen before...

Side note- The master is strong enough to bring down gallifrey?????? IM CACKLING AS IFFFFFFFFF. Like even if he could which he COULDNT he’s always hated them. The founding fathers being jerks is news to no one. 

Still don’t understand why Ada and the spy were relevant to the story? I’m not saying they shouldn’t have bn there but they didn’t do much other than tag along and the doctor erased their memories anyway??? i think there was some brief relevance given to ava but it was a stretch. smthn to do with the enemy’s plan, which was... err...

Sooooo convoluted and disjointed, and so much backtracking. 

Also not about the Doctor using the Nazi’s hatred of POC to her own gain in escaping the master. Problematic.

Main positive- the doctor says “you know where” and they meet on the Eiffel Tower. It’s extra af and I love it. Also CONTACT.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

alright alright alright it’s long overdue, but here’s my “Angel returns” theory from way back when her actress posted an image of her on twitter.

tl;dr: Angel is back and we see her getting digistructed in the dev trailer in the giant electricity machine thing

There’s some Commander Lilith spoilers below (main story and side quests) so if you haven’t beaten the whole dlc yet, don’t read!!

Alright so this obviously was kickstarted by the Sirentology quest lol 

I didn’t wanna say anything above the cut about that cause that’d be a dick move

let’s start with the thing I first noticed as soon as I walked into the prototype chamber!

ahahhaha yeah.

and if you’ve been following me since I replayed tales, then you might see where this is going

we see something similar here

this is from TFTBL, in the biodome where you find one of Gortys’s pieces (chassis? i don’t remember lol. the big ring one). It’s holding it up, like it’s being suspended in the air. I imagine this is the same technology Jack used to build Control Core Angel, keeping Angel suspended above the Vault Key. So this was built by Atlas, just keep that in mind, I’ll bring it back in a second.

You can see when Jack brings Lilith to the Vault itself, it keeps her stuck in the air, charging the Key

so obviously jack needed to improvise because he wasn’t about to bring Angel to the Vault with him, he wanted to wait until the key was fully charged.

I think Angel definitely got a little bit of leeway compared to Lily, though. I also think, since we don’t see any wires, the Vault key is sorta pulling the Eridium through Angel to process it and absorb it? and the thing above her is a pump/shield generator/suspension. As i understand it, in the new dlc we’ve seen Lilith actually flying with her wings in the final battle, and I do think Angel is using hers to move around (above), but I do think the Vault Key/machine thing is holding her suspended in the air. 

Anyway, the reason I’m bringing all this up is because of how Tannis acts in this DLC. @humphreyhornbeam commented on one of my interview posts with a great point and that is that “[Tannis] may or may not have blueprints and/or information that Jack used to create the Siren Collars and she may be the only one alive that has this info”. Which, oh fuck

Lemme point out some lines that are very suspicious from her just to let that sink in for a bit

we know Tannis has been studying Lilith for some time now, since the Assassinate the Assassins quest, and she has apparently dubbed such studies as “Sirentology”, hence the name of the quest.

so she wants to know exactly where Siren powers come from and how they act/appear over time (Understandably, we’ve seen Lilith’s exposure to Eridium allowed her to start teleporting)

we end up sending her the data through a console hooked up to the chamber

we don’t exactly get a choice.

normal reused console from other areas, with a little projection coming out of it (I’ll get to that soon)

Lilith comments this:

which… y’know… “she could have been so much more”. im not saying the devs are regretting killing Angel, but… that very well may be foreshadowing. Yeah, I’m getting there.

and Tannis is pleased (don’t think she quite cares about Angel).

so… i imagine Tannis is going to have some sorta hold on the story in the next game (”Tannis is not what she seems” is still relevant). Interviews have already confirmed this next game is focusing HARD on Sirens. This quest was 100% put in because of that. There’s no way they’d throw this in otherwise, it doesn’t make sense. 

This entire DLC was the devs’ way of ensuring we were prepared for bl3, and that means for (7? I’m pretty sure this dlc takes place about a year after the end of bl2) approximately 6 years, Tannis has access to some of the most in-depth Siren information. Ever. Remember, before BL2, Jack was smashed in the face with a Vault symbol and apparently got a shitload of information from it before that. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he learned some stuff about Sirens through that. He’s even the one who first confirms there are only 6 Sirens in the universe(s) afaik.

so what’s going on here? What’s Tannis going to do with all this information? We don’t really know a lot in regards to what she’s trying to study. As I understand it, she’s mainly focusing on Eridians in general, so her study of Sirens makes sense. We know she had a large stake in what happened to the Vault Key in the DLC (she’s very upset Mordy is just leaving his drinks in it). We know she’s extremely interested in what happened to Typhon Deleon (which I don’t think is coincidence considering what her focus is).

I want to believe she’s trying to use this information to simply discover more about the Eridians. I don’t wanna believe she’s going to use it for evil. Her introduction as a Dahl scientist stranded on Pandora seems super legit, so I can’t see her being of alien origin. I suppose I could see her teaming up with something of alien origin trying to find out where the Eridian homeworld is, since she’s wildly smart and I imagine would have at least 1 or 2 leads (concerning the Vault Symbol on a slab/floor tile we see in her infirmary on Sanc-III). 

Also, I know it is largely assumed the CoV thing is a broadcast from the twins to their cult, but that just… doesn’t make sense to me. I’m gonna go wildly crazy here and suggest that the broadcast wasn’t from the CoV, but instead the Children of the Vault are another entity and the cult picked up the name after hearing said Broadcast. I mean, seriously, do you really think a bunch of crazed lunatics are going to want to call themselves “Children of the Vault” without a larger influence?

HEAR ME OUT.

okay, I do not play battleborn. at all. so idk what the deal is, but looking at videos that show the morse code easter egg shows this

now i did a little looking, not a lot because I am not a fan of battleborn and my disinterest made me terribly bored BUT

this is what i think a “Varelsi” (the enemy faction of Battleborn) portal is SUPPOSED to look like: 

so, you know, there’s a difference. probably the reason it’s called “anomaly”.

And we know the code we get from those anomalies is in morse code

which translates to this (thanks reddit. It’s been 2 years since I upvoted stuff on that post, btw. time sure does fly.)

And y’know, I JUST did a analysis trailer of We are Mayhem, and you know what was in that trailer? Maya’s Phaselock.

let’s take a look at that, shall we?

so we know that Maya’s ability “allows her to lock an enemy in another dimension, preventing the desired target from fighting back for a short while”. Do you see where I’m going with this, yet?

yeah.

Compare the phaselock to the easter egg “anomalies”, they’re both cracks in our dimension, though Maya’s is white, and they’re both cast against a space-like/starry background which I think is our look into the “other dimension” her description mentions.

in fact, let’s look at some other Sirens we know of, more specifically, let’s take a look at Amara’s arms

I think that’s all the same “stuff”. idk what to call it. just… “STUFF”. yeaaaahhhh.

Anyway, this is all a convoluted way for me to say that I think that morse code message we hear is coming from that dimension that Maya can open a rip to. She uses it to imprison people? yeah. Probably the same dimension Lilith can phasewalk through. idk the deal with Amara’s arms but I assume they take their power from that dimension as well. I imagine that dimension is also tied to the Vaults. We know the Traveller “teleports” places, I imagine he’s doing something similar to Lilith: jumping into the other dimension then quickly jumping out. (okay yes i just likened Lilith to Kurt Wagner, whatcha gonna do?).

Consider the idea that Sirens are this dimension’s connection with the other dimension we see within their powers, and that’s where this message is coming from. I think that’s why Sirens can be used to charge the Vault Keys. But wait, there’s more.

(Sorry i totally lost my train of thought, i got SUPER distracted.)

I think Eleseer (the inside of Elpis in TPS) is connected to this dimension as well, or traveled to through this dimension.

the holograms of planets, the stars- I mean the whole thing looks like a giant void, and I get it, the moon is HUGE, but you think at some point you’d see the outside crust or something. You’d think at some point the mines would’ve caused the planet to cave in or something. Fuck, even the Crackening, which we all kinda know was caused by the Eridians, you think that would have shown this GIANT cavern inside the moon.

I think the whole above bit, Tycho’s Ribs, the huge Eridian base thing, is powering a large rift or something into another dimension, the dimension that the TPS VHs drop into on that giant platform with the cutscene and everything. I mean…

COME ON. is all that seriously inside a MOON?

there is even a bubble shield surrounding the platform they get off on, something very similar to the shields Axton has around his turrets. I think that may be to prevent the atmosphere from escaping, anything visiting from getting out, or, possibly, things from getting in. If this actually is somewhere out in space/another dimension, then it would make sense that they’d wanna keep their magical floating future-seeing platform from getting knocked by asteroids or raided by other aliens

Okay, and I know the “planets” all appear as holograms, but look at that galaxy. the nebulas. Those aren’t holograms. 

Eridian writing on the outside ring there? Oh boy bl3 theories here i come. That’s looking very familiar right about now after my We are Mayhem analysis.

cloud/nebula. clearly not a hologram

there’s even a fucking galaxy down here like… Yeah guys I don’t think we’re on Elpis anymore

Even the entrance to the Vault which… y’know isn’t that normal Vault-y shape is a giant hunk of eridium with a huge crack in it. 

and when you touch it, what happens??

You teleport inside, and it even plays the same animation as when Lilith teleports you during the Hunting the Firehawk quest. 

It probably looks less organic than the one in bl2 because this is powered by Eridian machinery, but it’s definitely the same concept- you fade back in all purple and shit

then this asshole shows up out of an actual Vault symbol, which makes me wonder why we traveled all this way and if Vault symbols are actually gateways somewhere and by walking inside one (unlike every other VH), Rhys and Fiona really DID get teleported somewhere

also, a little off-topic but does anyone else think this is what the eridians are gonna look like?

just… the face after u shoot the mask off.

how did i get to this topic…??

oh yeah Tannis LMAO SORRY

Okay POINT BEING

I think that the easter egg message is coming from whatever dimension all of THIS is. If it IS the Eridians, then maybe humans (or the Vault Hunters- the Crimson Raiders?) are the “Children of the Vault” and the Cult took the name because they heard the broadcast. Because as it stands, “Do not open the Vaults” just doesn’t make sense coming from the Calypsos’s perspective. They WANT the Vaults opened. You know who doesn’t? The Eridians.

So the line: “Tannis is not what she seems” then wouldn’t be coming from the CoV, but instead from an outsider watching us. You know… someone getting info to whoever is in that dimension… like the Watcher maybe? Or maybe the Eridians are just watching us in general, like they can see things from their dimension or homeworld or whatever. They had the Elpis Vault that could see the future, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they could see the present anywhere. 

Anyway

TANNIS

I don’t want her to be evil is what I’m trying to say. but you know what? I didn’t even get into the MEAT AND POTATOES of this post yet

here we go

you know this thing? It’s from the dev trailer for bl3. looks pretty similar to the above stuff, doesn’t it? And it’s powered by electricity, because if you watch the tubes get filled up/emptied out in the video. I’m still trying to determine if the footage was reversed or not because the lava (?? I think???) outside the window is falling upwards when it’s playing normally.

So you might be wondering? Why bring this up?

Cause I think it’s possible Tannis has built this using the blueprints she got from Angel’s prototype room. and why is THAT important? 

Well, hear me out.

this is what a digistructer looks like. Imagine 2 of those facing opposite each other, supercharged by electricity

Now we know Tannis has built Digistruct peak to create fake enemies for us, but maybe those don’t last long/aren’t stable enough

and yeah I think you know where I’m going with this

I think it’s possible Tannis has somehow created a machine to digistruct Angel for us.

and you might be wondering

“why the fuck would she do that”

BECAUSE

IF YOU LOOK AT THE CONTROL PANEL WHILE YOU’RE UPLOADING THINGS FOR TANNIS

YOU CAN SEE ANGEL’S FACE APPEAR FOR A SPLIT SECOND

which only ever happened while she was speaking using her powers!!! I don’t even think you actually could “record” that because that’s her using her Siren powers to talk in your brain!! It’s not a part of your ECHO or a tv screen, that’s literally part of her powers

so what if Angel uploaded herself into Helios, then when AI Jack came barging in she had to hide somewhere she wouldn’t be found/overwritten by him

and please tell me if I’m wrong, i’ve been staring at a computer screen all day/night

but that looks like a body to me. You can see the left arm on the right, then a torso, then another arm slightly behind that

even the electric bursts coming out of them create the shape of a body standing there. I can very clearly see the hand/thigh/waist on the bottom and the shoulders/opening to a shirt? on top there

idk lmao. I’m trying my best to explain why her actress would tweet a picture of her with no context and then PIN it to her twitter page

why britanni. whyyy

[journaloftomfooleryandjapery]

All the TOP 10 OF THE DECADE posts made me want to make one of my own, so here’s my 10 fave games this decade:

Yakuza 0  Shovel Knight  Nier Automata  Metal Gear Rising  Gunvolt Chronicles Luminous Avenger IX Final Fantasy XV   Scott pilgrim vs the world the game Undertale Persona 5  Doom

Danganronpa 2, New Vegas, Touhou Luna Nights, Katana Zero and Mario Odyssey all only barely missed out, and it was a tough decision not to include them. I loved the shit out of those games but thinking it through I decided they were just slightly less loved by me than the above.

Below the cut are some extended thoughts (of varying length) on the games included:

Just CTRL F if you wanna find a specific one

Yakuza 0

Every Yakuza game is delightful and this is definitely the best one, in my opinion. The Yakuza games appeal to me for a lot of reasons: the combat, the story, the variety of activities, the look of it all and the music. I feel like its a very unique game experience with its blend of weird in-depth side activities, serious crime drama, manly man masculine combat friendship melodrama, metal gear-esque convoluted conspiracies and a surprisingly compassionate view of the world it takes place in. 

The combat is what drew me in initially because it just feels good, the feedback of stomping on a dudes face in yakuza is delivered perfectly, and the attacks are brutal, hard and flashy. Its a very solid and satisfying combat system and in 0 its the best it has ever been. The ability to switch between 3 different and equally fun fighting styles on the fly really lets you mix things up and adapt your approach, every style feels fun and useful. If i had to pick a favorite it would be slugger, but its a tough choice, and they are all very viable and FUN.

Yakuza 0 also gets big points for having the best story in the series. The protagonists feel much more interesting in this era, the fights feel more earned in this game than others, the relationships are incredibly touching (I’m almost mad majima didnt stay with makoto) and the substories (and some parts of the main story) are the funniest they’ve ever been. Stuff like the quasi-stealth mission where you have to make sure women don’t see you buying a porn magazine for a child, and the extended scene of kiryu trying to guess the right business manners for a meeting had me laughing so much i was i was almost in physical pain.

The extensive business and host club substories get you tons of extra game content and are good enough to almost be there own game. The other games in the series have extended side activites of varying quality, but i think 0 had a rare case of all of these being, basically, perfect. The team obviously agrees since host club management came back repeatedly, but never as good as it was here.

Being set in the 80s elevates almost everything in the game because of the outfits, money flying out of every enemy you attack, the classic sega games you can play at the arcade (Outrun is so much fun and I’d have never have given it a proper go otherwise) and the disco minigame everyones made a meme out of (that music is so catchy).

As a final note this game has the best boss fights and music in the series, which is a very high standard to surpass when you look at the rest of the series. The dual final boss fights, the recurring boss for kiryu and almost every majima fight are highlights of the entire series for me. 

0 is going to end up being one of the few games I’ll never sell my copy of because i want it available for me to play forever, its a complete delight.

Shovel Knight

This game has been analysed to hell and back, so i wont have much original to say i suppose. Admittedly i did enjoy the first campaign but it didnt completely win me over, plague knights campaign and beyond was what really made this an all time greats for me. It’s one of very few games that gets the NES+SNES platforming appeal 100% right and essentially surpasses most games of the day, with almost perfect pacing, challenge and level design. IT helps that the whole world and story and look is charming as all hell. It’s an easy game to love and the more you play it the more that feels justified. Being PACKED with great content is also a plus. If you liked the first campaign you can just keep going through a set of campaigns about as good that only really rehash some level assets. I would say its one of the best 2D platformers ever for me, if not quite my true number 1.

ALSO JAKE KAUFMAN KNOCKS IT OUT THE PARK WITH THIS SOUNDTRACK

Since i have little else to add to the shovel knight discussion, here’s my ranking/thoughts on each campaign

Plague of shadows. BEST storyline, great levels with a really cool gameplay gimmick, the characters are all cute and the ending really makes me feel for him. both sorry for him at first and then a very real AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW for LOVE

King of cards. king knight is just fun as hell to play as, he doesnt have that many tools but his movement is just crazy fun and i love the flair in all his animations. also has that rad final boss. joustus is ok i guess.

Shovel of hope. uuuuuuh what can i even say about this. its good, and the melancholy dream bits add a lot to the mood of the story. we’ve already analysed this campaign within an inch of its life i dont think i can say anything new. wish we could fight the battletoads on pc.

Specter of torment. still fun and i appreciate the tone change, but i didnt care as much for the characters and the mega man-esque level select doesnt suit shovel knight imo. specter knight has a lot of fun movement options though. mainly i just love GRINDING and the diagonal slash. i dont give a fuck about reize

Nier Automata

I feel a tiny bit ashamed i have so little to say about this considering it is one of the most emotional experiences i have ever had with a story. If i lsten to the final version of weight of the world i still cry just from remembering this game and how it made me feel. i think its one of the greatest narratives of the century but i can barely get across the appeal to anyone who hasnt already played it. its a story about hope, despair and the nature of the human race that never feels like its preachy or pretensious or taking on more than it can handle. it made me feel all kinds of emotions deeply and intensely, it genuinely made me burst into tears about 10 times, maybe more. even putting aside the ggrand narrative, theres so many cool character moments and bits of world building and visual eements and tragic little side stories that you would need a whole book to talk about them all while doing any real justice to them. i loved it so much that im paying £70 to see an orchestra do the soundtrack live. I want to hug and kiss 2b and 9s better. i just love it deeply and i find it hard to explain why it makes me feel that way, but its a dark beautiful and hopeful story where every moment feels earned. the despair of the story giving way to genuine hope with the rest of the world helping you fight for it is such an intensely emotional moment that you could never replicate outside of this kind of story and medium. how the fuck do i explain that to anyone that doesnt already get it. I’m glad this game exists

Metal Gear Rising 

Well, complete tone shift here. Platinum made a lot of great action games in the last decade that all dig into that same itch for DODGE SLOW MOTION BANG BANG BANG alongside great soundtracks, visuals and awesome set piece moments. Just intense, flashy, awesome combat. Picking a favorite of the decade was the hard part, because a platinum game had to be one of my faves of the decade. The closest was transformers, but mgr has a couple of things about it that put it above the rest of the platinum catalog for me.

The story actually works very well at still being metal gear while in the platinum formula, its about the cycle of violence and FINDING YOUR OWN PURPOSE and it works weirdly well. The strangest part is that it feels like a legitimate sequel to metal gear 4 tonally while still being the crazy action game it is

Raiden is just super fun to play as, while I’ll always miss the DODGE SLOWMO in a platinum game parry and zandatsu give a great flow to fights and there’s real exhilaration to parrying a hard chain of attacks and tearing out a bunch of enemies spines at once every time

raiden is also just  a fun protag, it truly allows me to embrace that kind of stereotypical edgy cool anime swordsman he embodies

BEST PLATINUM SOUNDTRACK DO NOT @ ME

Bosses just rule

one of the best final bosses ever, in my opinion? maybe that’s controversial, but armstrong gets an insane amount of characterization and pure PRESENCE out of such a small amount of screen time and the fact he feels like such a perfect rival to raiden so quickly is kind of nuts to me. within about half an hour you are ready for the ultimate final showdown with everything at stake, and then the gameplay 100% delivers on that with a fight that is challenging as hell and just feels climatic and intimidating. its a little thing, but having this dude just smack you around with his hands and almost no fighting skill after a game filled with crazy flippy cyborg ninjas makes him feel TOUGH and the way you finish him off? it just rocks, plain and simple. I don’t think i need to justify slices a massive dudes chest open and ripping out his giant still beating robot heart as the music climaxes and our cool edgy protag literally says WE’RE DONE HERE. truly, it has to be this way.

Gunvolt Chronicles Luminous Avenger IX 

For fast twitchy 2d platformers this barely beat out Katana Zero and Touhou Luna Nights, but i think its just a little better. The skill ceiling on this game is high as hell and once you really get to grips with it, its an experience you cant find anywhere else. its just satisfying as hell to be able to get through the point where you can ZOOM  through these levels by making use of copen’s dash and lock-on and weapons well enough. once you get good enough to get through a hole level without touching the ground, you just cant go back. I liked this enough to get an S rank on almost every level. this game just rules, man.

story, art and music are all great as well. but they pale in importance next to zippy jetpack zoom zoom fun time.

also great for having a cool twist that i genuinely did not see coming at all

Final Fantasy XV   

For context, my experience of FFXV was not the base game so i cannot personally address the concerns of the version at launch, which i hear from others was a total mess! The game has been updated and changed so much that it is probably almost unrecognizable aside from the absolute base aspects of it. The version i am talking about is, as far as we know, the “final” version released right before Episode Ardyn. There was of course an update after this, but it only added DLC compatibility and a few items, so it means very little in the grand scheme. I also played all of the dlc and watched all the periphery material to get the full, messy disjointed experience. it is also worth noting that the only other FF game i have played is the classic title Mario Hoops 3 on 3 Basketball. I feel it important to tell you this before getting into things so that you can have a full idea of the perspective i come at the game from.

This was chosen over Mario Odyssey and someone will probably kill me for that. I just think its a great emotional story that does a fantastic job of making you care for all the characters, and the world feels massive and full of cool stuff to see. It’s my favorite open world game and i love The Boys.  its not the kind of thing i usually play but i think it genuinely had a great story and its a very fun game to just explore and spend time in. ffxv truly understands the emotional bond between The Lads and it is fun to kill big monsters with your party

(they kinda ruin the last cutscene in english, in japanese he says I LOVE YOU GUYS and it makes me cry but in english he goes U GUYS ARE THE BEST which just isnt the same. a small nitpick though. a lot of this game made me cry regardless, its just great at creating an emotional bond)

I admire the insane level of ambition in the visuals and scope, and i bought every dlc for it because it was just that good. the ifrit boss fight and all the giant monsters are just amazingly epic in scale. the “found a cool rock” post is what i truly admire about this game summed up. 

all the ancillary material for the game is great and worth getting into, with the exception of the Comrades multiplayer expansion. Everything else adds depth to the story and the world without being entirely necessary for you to get through the story. the anime and the dlc all really feel worth getting into without being something you have to see to get The Full Experience

the giant monsters are cool

Scott Pilgrim vs the World: The Game

Being from 2010 this game only just makes it in, but it was my favorite beat em up this decade and a source of great nostalgia for me. It had a pretty big impact on music and art tastes in regards to games, and in retrospect this games existence was very much a dream team scenario. Paul Robertson is a great sprite artist who does a lot of good work, Anamanaguchi have gone on to become one of my favorite bands (another winter is still one of their best tracks imo) and at the time this came out i was obsessed with scott pilgrim. That plus the beat em up gameplay makes this kind of a perfect blending of a lot of my specific tastes. Playing this brings me back to the time in my school life that i played it very distinctly, a more comfortable time in my life for sure, and i think the game still stands up excellently. I hope that someday it will get a rerelease so others can enjoy it. I give this another play through every year or so, but i wish id gotten the dlc while it was still available

Doom

ITS VIOLENT ITS FAST ITS FUN ITS METAL

i like this game because of the intense adrenaline rush and violent catharsis it gives me, essentially a constant dopamine rush

fun game good

Undertale

I’m glad i got to this before the massive wave of spoilers and popularity came about. It’s a great story with some fun gameplay, and i think SANS UNDERTALE was one of the best boss fights this decade. Its a shame that for so many new players this experience is going to be ruined by spoilers

Persona 5 

Danganronpa 2 and fallout new vegas were close contenders for this last spot. I actually made a post about my thoughts on this game before https://journaloftomfooleryandjapery.tumblr.com/post/184341270554/nue-is-great-love-his-goofy-design-when-life-will but essentially 

Essentially, its got a great cast of characters, a cool slick look, great monster designs, a fun gameplay loop of collecting monsters and grinding stats while waiting for the next big event, and a surprisingly good story

No idea if royal is any good, but its on a pretty small list of games that i might actually take the time to replay

[jamiedodgerart]

the fade is a liar sometimes

aka, a really long post about how mal hawke survived dragon age inquisition. warning for big but kinda vague spoilers for dai and mentions of alcoholism

ok full disclosure i dont know how he survived the fade. but im thinking the nightmare like. didnt wake back up in time to block the way through the portal, and so never caused the Do I Kill The Warden Or Hawke dilemma. cos. that was kiiiiiiiinda bullshit. 

i had to pick between alistair and mal. and i really didnt want mal to be actually really dead bc at the time of here lies the abyss he’d be in a really shitty place, mentally, and i didnt want him to just! die! without resolving that! so i gave canon the finger and concocted a convoluted plan to give mal a better ending

background, after the events of da2, he ended up leaving kirkwall and fuckin’ around in the woods for a bit. i imagine he was helping refugees get out for a little while, until anders showed up and convinced him to help groups of renegade mages/circles on the verge of winning their independence. at this point he was pretty sick of the world at large, didn’t know what he wanted or where he was going to go next, and let himself be (guided? directed? pushed around?) by anders, drinking himself into oblivion and generally feeling like garbage. he fell out of contact with most of his remaining friends and began convincing himself that he was guilty for the explosion, by trusting anders (he’d suspected something was wrong with the ingredients anders was asking for and confronted him about it, but trusted him and helped him by distracting the grand cleric)

i rambled about this on my private twitter but mal and anders... ended up not being a great fit for one another and past me said it better than present me can

eventually, the inquisition came into being and grew in power. anders, still being a wanted man and mal too by association, avoided the inquisition’s patrols pretty easily. but stories started to spread about the inquisitor and his... particularly creative justice. see, pica really likes choices that have some poetic irony to them that also focus on rebuilding (he had alexius work for the mages, stuff like that), generally avoids executions, and is pretty chill with mages. the inquisition is also independent of any government, really, and is about as impartial as you can get in thedas. so when mal gets word from varric that corypheus is back, a problem, and something they need mal’s help with (that is also, in his professional opinion, his fault), he gets an idea.

he heads to skyhold, meets pica (who read the tale of the champion, asks varric questions about it constantly, was expecting a hero, and was not expecting the hero to be a depressed alcoholic) and iunno here lies the abyss happens with the aforementioned edit of no one important dying (i guess i could kill alistair and preserve a kind of important turning point in pica’s character with an added bonus of giving mal another thing to have survivor’s guilt about but i dont think i could go through with it. imagine the emotional toll. pica could get that change some other way anyway) mal by this point has gotten to know pica fairly well and has found what he’s heard to be true, and gives him a proposition

(i would like to add now that while ive read asunder, until i looked it up just now i didn’t remember where it sits in the timeline relative to da2, and it wasnt super clear to me just how much each of the two events affected the mage/templar war. so some text in sketches might be inaccurate, historically)

so you can imagine that anders is Pissed Off by this development, but justice is kinda like 

cos like. pica Is a real actual authority figure. who is down to dispense some quality justice esp re mages. and is coming at it from a “yo i know you meant well and you did kinda have a point but you also killed a lot of people so there does have to be Some kind of consequence of that”

(but neither of them are at all happy with mal turning them in)

anyway the trial ends up including a full investigation of the events in kirkwall, as well as the events at the spire (cole, rhys, and evangeline all give their testimony) and it’s more a straightening out of what was up with the whole start of this shitshow anyway, cos the confusion and misinformation about it is probably the worst part. 

pica finds anders guilty and sentences him to community service, which a lot of people disagreed with. pica thinks it was a GREAT IDEA though because that community service comes in the form of anders teaching the inquisition mages about healing magic!! something that anders is good at, loves doing, and can actually help people with!! why are we still fuckin about with herbs when there’s magic!!!!! this also has the added bonus of making mages less scary to the general populace- chuckin’ fireballs is a lot more alien and intimidating than healing up a broken arm, yknow? it can help mages seem more human and good for society than they were, separated from the public in towers.

anders is still a prisoner, though, which hes super not happy about, and part of his sentence is also that dagna gets to study him. he and samson are in grudging solidarity in the face of tolerating her extreme cheerfulness. and maybe he gets a cat too. i wonder if he and samson could talk about how shitty the chantry is re: lyrium addiction in templars? its obvs not on the scale of mage shittiness but it could be an interesting discussion

see in the grand scheme of things mal really didnt do all that much. he was duped by a lover into doing something he 100% would not have done if hed known what was actually going on. i feel like the most anyone could bust him on was aiding and abetting. and maybe helping hide an apostate. mal was found, as pica informally put it while distracted by looking at a transcript of a kirkwall templar’s testimony, “kinda guilty? just like. if ur asked to help blow up a chantry dont do it again” but cassandra elbowed him really hard and he said “look ok your sentence is, fuck, i dunno, work for the inquisition. what do you wanna do”

that was not what mal was expecting and he didnt have an answer. and pica looked at him and said “ill give you some time to figure it out, ok. just. take care of yourself, man. u look like shit” which got him another elbow, which he returned to cass with equal force

anyway. mal is now officially Not Guilty in the court of the law. which fuckin sucks bc that assessment does absolutely NOTHING to stop his shit brain from keeping being guilty about everything. so he tries to quit drinking, fails, and just has a rough time in general, while also sometimes visiting anders in prison. which probably really doesn’t help.

ENTER WARDEN-COMMANDER OF FERELDAN, MADRANA “MAD” TABRIS, AND HER PARTNER/GF/ADULT SUPERVISION EMMARIE “EMMY” COUSLAND

(you may also know mads as hester, as i called her in previous playthroughs. hester’s not a really elfy name and shes grown far enough away from her namesake that i felt a change was warranted. also emmy was created by @1500birds. i love her)

thats them (mads then emmy) so mad tabris, legendary fighter, unkillable blight-ender, bather in darkspawn blood, and general bottle covey is looking for a challenge. its been like ten years since shes had an actually hard battle to win and she’s near skyhold, and she’s heard that mal hawke, another legendary fighter, is also in the area. oh and some cadash guy. hes apparently good too. also, she’s looking for some way out of the whole grey warden death sentence thing. shes not keen on dying unless she’s killed, ydig, and apparently skyhold’s doing a lot of groundbreaking research these days

she and emmy swing on in to skyhold and finds that hawke is, well, a mess

important background. mads is not good at dealing with other peoples’ emotions. so shes not really equipped to deal with this. emmy, however, is kind, has nerves of steel, loves to help people, and is Very equipped to deal with this. and so the two of them adopt mal. (even though hes older than both of them.) 

theyve got really, really different ways of trying to help mal. emmy is a great listener, and understands survivor’s guilt and the lost-all-my-family brand of trauma pretty well. she helps him sort through all the shit that’s happened to him and offers a lot of support. and hugs. by god shes a hugger. also theyve got a symbiotic cuddling relationship bc emmy is always cold and mal is always warm, so they platonically nap together sometimes. mads is unfortunately too wriggly and pointy to be a good cuddler :’( she squeezes in the mix sometimes anyway though and it’s uncomfortable but nice

mads’s method of helping mal is in her area of expertise: getting out pent-up negative emotion by fighting. for a long time, mal has internalized a lot of shit, and mads is really good at annoying him into either yelling or punching out that shit. shes doing it out of concern for his well-being, she swears, and not because she takes joy in pissing people off. she does but thats not the point. it’s not a perfect strategy but it does help a lot

unfortunately for her, sometimes mal can be downright vindictive when drunk and angry, and can hit on the few things she’s insecure about

(i would really love to make a post about mads sometime, cos she ended up being a lot deeper of a character than i originally intended. i really just wanted a really sharp angry lady who fought with the subtlety of a brick to the face, and ended up getting that plus bravado covering up a whole host of insecurities. i feel like i should finish dao before writing it up though ahah)

(what mal said is also not totally accurate- mads cares very much for emmy. but yknow how when things get heated it doesn’t really matter if they’re really accurate anymore- they just have to be close enough to get a reaction, ydig)

anyway! the two of them together help mal get his life back in order- he cuts down and eventually quits drinking, starts taking better care of himself, and gets more of a handle on life. i guess you’re probably wondering where varric is, right around now. so am i mal pushed away a lot of people close to him after da2, including varric. but varric kept looking out for him (lying to cassandra to protect him, using his network of contacts to keep an eye on where he and anders were operating). when mal comes to skyhold i think he’d try to avoid varric out of guilt- yknow how when it’s been a really long time since you’ve talked to someone, and you know you should have called them back, but you never did, and they kept asking how you were, and you want to be in an actually good place before you call them back, but shit keeps happening, and it’s been like two years since youve said anything to them, and then you see them and do some serious acrobatics trying to stay out of their sight so you don’t have to confront their honest interest in your well-being that they have no right to still have after so long with no word from you, and you have to make it seem like you havent been avoiding them because that would be rude, and really it’s just easier to be constantly vigilant of where they are and make sure youve got plausible reason to be leaving casually yet quickly

well mal did that. emmy had to physically bar his way from escaping a room once when varric came in, and dragged him by the scruff of the neck to talk to him. varric was painfully understanding and ended up hitting it off nicely with emmy

so! someday mal gets a job. specifically, pica gives him one. because he still owes the world some community service. with his experience as a hunter and highwayman, he becomes a scout!

whoaaa color

more specifically, mal becomes a... specialized type of scout. some idiot who shall not be named but whose name sounds a whole lot like pica cadash gave him command of a small squad of scouts, heavier armored and armed than average inquisition scouts but not heavy enough to count as infantry soldiers. their job is to dismantle highwayman and rogue mercenary bands, in whatever way necessary. so! originally this was supposed to mean sneak attacks on their strongholds or whatever, but mal talked with him about his own experiences with crime (mostly that most people in his crew back then were in it out of necessity, and needed money to support family) and the squad kind of became. really heavy recruiters. it became kind of a joke that the inquisition would take anyone- and they would! practically any skillset could be used in an organization as big as the inquisition, and at this point it was still growing

like. barely any exaggeration here

so that’s where he is pre-trespasser! thank u for reading and if youve got questions or want to learn more PLEASE ask i lov my ocs and love talking about them

i want to add that in @1500birds‘s latest playthrough (miranda trevelyan, a pro-chantry mage cullenmancer) mal rags on cullen endlessly

that was supposed to be the playthrough where he survives the fade, but then bran realized that miranda would kinda hate mal and would 100% leave him behind

[demonicsinc]

Reshef of Destruction text review

...GEEZ how did they make this game hard!!!?

ok, so Reshef of Destruction is the sequel to Sacred Cards. it has the exact same mechanics and features. one thing i forgot to mention in the other review is that. these games started something that im still a bit miffed at that continued for a while. and that’s having to buy cards you input passwords for! for those that dont know Yugioh cards have a passcode on the bottom corner of the cards, you can use these to put the cards you own into video games. but only one copy of each...for some reason. so if you ran 3 blue eyes too bad you only get the one! but in a good chunk of the games you just got the card for free. however in specific games after these you had to pay for them with in game currency. just a tad annoying but something i figured i should bring up.

now for the story. After winning Battle City yugi wakes up to find that his PUZZLE IS MISSING! and runs to tell everyone else including you! soon enough you find out it was this guy that suspiciously looks like maximillion Pegasus calling himself Sol Chevalsky which honestly sounds a million times better. pretty soon you do learn that yes this is Pegasus being mind controled by the being Reshef its not even subtle. you duel a host of really familiar faces if youve seen the anime. and if you’re manga only the anime kept Pegasus alive for some reason blame 4kids not me. The first of Sols minions is... PaniK? Yeah that one eliminator guy from season 1 who yugi beat using the “Catapult turtle gambit” for those that know. for some reason PaniK shows up a lot in games i dunno. after beating PaniK hes killed by dark shadi, (its just shadi in black clothing. you know he’s a badass from my DSoD review.) who challenges you to a duel, win and you get the millennium necklace. you then go and duel a manga only character WTF IS GOING ON HERE yeah ventriloquist of the dead shows up. all of these duels by the way act like the spell card Yami is on the field btw. After fighting Jean Claude Magnum (not a bad guy but a total duche) you find the millennium key, and shadi comes to give you a message dressed correctly this time. after that you get slifer the executive producer from ishizu who, im not giving this back to you again ishizu! so the next old characters you meet are Bonz, who died in battle city or was supposed to because Yami Bakura/zorc or whatever kills him to get his locator cards. hes not a bad guy in fact he helps you and you find a trio of actual badguys waiting. bandit keith, strings the mime, and GASP RARE HUNTER! yeah that guy at the begining of battle city who played the exodia deck with marked cards. never had a name. wasnt important enough to. but he shows up here! after kicking in their butts you find the millenium ring, and i wanted to chuck the fuck out of it the moment that asshole came out and screamed about chaos! next is china, we meet para and dox have a tag duel and get the millennium eye, where its revealed gasp shock horror not at all surprisingly that Sol Chevalsky is Pegasus! 

then we have free time, now i didnt talk about the first kind of non story quest you can do cause, its really just there you can do it if you want. but this one you have to do. so. remember that filler i talked about in the last review. with Noah. well apparently that did happen off screen for everyones sanity and the big five are...somehow back in the real world and begging for their jobs back. weird. well here we get to see them dress up as their deckmasters from said filler and fight them as KAIBAMAN! cause kaiba would be that freaking vain! THEN WE GO TO CANADA! nothing could possibly go wrong there! oh hey Rex Raptor so this is where youve been hiding since espa roba kicked your butt! We get the millennium rod and see marik dont know why it was in canada but ok woulda made more sense to go to egypt to get this. we go to the galapogos islands next and fight legasp Atem! no wait its just that fatass clown mimic from season one who mascaraed as ghost kaiba. oh that was kaiba’s evil half? coulda fooled me. we get the Scales and, WHO HAD THIS ONE? WE NEVER LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT THIS ITEM THIS SINGULAR ITEM IS MY BIGGEST FRUSTRATION! shadi pops up to say hi again and we go back to ishizu to get ra, what happened to obelisk, kaiba stole it after it woke back up. but for some reason...they turn back to stone! hope you werent planning on using slifer as your main boss monster. you can go and do a side quest but just duel for a bit and talk to ishizu and it’ll progress the plot. beat the neo ghouls who are terrorizing the town and then save your allies from around the world who are being harrassed by them and beat kieth who stole Ra! and you’ll get the puzzle back for Yugi and after that and a few more quests that are kinda weird, you get ot see good guy marik who helps get ra under control. then go beat pegasus, and then you fight reshef. HOLY shit the power of friendship scene! every games gotta have one! so beat that and credits roll with you being forced to give up the godcards again.

all in all reshef is better than sacred cards for the story alone, its a lot of fun if a bit convoluted in places. the hard factor of the game comes from just. not being able to build a decent deck. the card limits so hard to raise that its just a pain to. and also late game bosses having 3 copies of stuff like raigeki and change of heart!

if youve read this far thank you so much for reading and i hope to eventually put these into video format!