#the spielberg run was short but fun

[cocktail1988]

they literally did the buy her brown eye contacts to tom cruise in minority report

[reimagine7]

A thing for Aquaman (Kelley O'hara x reader)

This was a request, but I had a tough time writing it and don’t know if I achieved your expectations. It’s a short one. 

Kelley pov

“Hello ladies! My name is Shean and I’ll be one of the instructors that will be guiding you all today.” We were at the Marine Life Rescue center in Florida. The USWNT is combining forces with the Program to help raise visibility to their mission, so we are making a visit and recording some media stuff. A few of us visited the Clearwater aquarium, some went to the beach to see a turtle and a dolphin release. Me, Lindsey, Alex, Sofia, Trinity and Sonnett are in the group that is going scuba diving. 

“So, a quick story before our leader gets here. The Marine Life Rescue Project was created to support the mission and funding to Clearwater Marine Aquarium Research Institute. We believe in preserving our environment while inspiring the human spirit through leadership in the rescue, rehabilitation, and release of marine life. By research, conservation and environmental education of the community. Alone, we can’t do much, so that’s why your visit here is so important for us…” The boy kept talking and my attention quickly was out of it. I poked Alex and asked. “This guy sounds like he is repeating this line for the hundredth time and has zero animation to be here” Alex laughed but kept looking at the boy, Lindsey that was near heard me and answered. “He is cute though. But I don’t know if I’m too excited to enter the water. I think I will rather stay in the boat talking to him.” Trinity, who was also listening to us, spoke. “What? We are scuba diving for free. Why would you want to stay in the boat?” “What if there are sharks in the water?” Lindsey whispered loudly. “That’s the fun part.” Trinity has a smirk on her face. “I don’t think there will be sharks in there. Right?” I tried to calm Linds, but I was not too sure of myself.”  “Don’t worry, the sharks don’t like humans that much. They usually don’t show up. Usually.” A woman whispered behind us, making the girls who were close jump a little as we haven’t seen her before. “Usually?” She just shrugged. “Who are you?” I was the one making the question now. “I’m…” 

“Y/n! You made it. Come here.” The woman winked at us, stood and went up front. “Girls, this is Y/n Y/l/n. She is going to be the lead instructor that will be diving with some of you. Any questions?” Lindsey raised her hand and asked. “Can I stay in the boat?” We all laughed and Y/n answered. “Of course you can, no one will be forced to be down there. But I must warn you that you will be missing a lot.” “Thanks. But I rather stay here than risk being eaten by a shark.” “First, sharks don’t attack like that. That is a huge myth created mostly due to Spielberg's movies. There is a bigger chance of you dying in a plane crash than being eaten by a shark.” Y/n corrected Lindsey, who still didn’t look convinced. “I think I'll take my chances with the plane.” Y/n laughed but before she could say anything the other instructor called her informing that everything was ready on the boat. “We are going. And second…” She interrupted herself by taking off her hoodie, and Oh, dear! She has muscles. God, she is hot. “Second, I know this beach like the palm of my hand. I know these animals and you’ll be safe with me and my team. Don’t worry. Let’s go girls?” With that she walked toward the boat leaving us behind.

We watched her going and I broke the silence “Have anyone else seen those muscles?” “Yeah. You know what Linds, you can stay in the boat. I will dive with her.” Sonnett grabbed her backpack and started her walk to the boat. “Wait. I think I changed my mind. With those arms, I think I will be safe.” Lindsey says following Sonnett. “You know Kells, if you want a chance to stay near those arms you’ll have to run. Sonnett and Linds are thirsty.” Alex laughed at me and we all ran to the boat. 

An instructor started the drive and we all sat in the boat waiting for the boat to stop at the diving spot. “So Y/n, is being this muscular and hot a requirement to being a scuba diving instructor?” She laughed and answered. “If it was Shean over here would be with his days counted.” “Hey! I work out.” “I’m just kidding man. But answering your question, it’s not. But it helps to keep the girls' attention at you when you’re repeating the program instructions.” She winked at me. “I noticed, but don’t know if I paid too much attention to what you were saying, was occupied with something else. Too distracted. I would love to learn more about it.” “Well, unfortunately that isn’t part of the tour but I’m always open to show what those muscles can do some other time.” “I think I know how those muscles work in the gym.” “I imagine, but I wasn’t talking about the gym.” My eyes widened and I stayed speechless. She stood up and started grabbing the equipment.

“Well, as we already pass through instruction on the beach, I won’t repeat them. The only thing I’m reinforcing is to make sure to be close by. This water is normally safe and calm, and you will have the chance to watch the most different species of animals and corals, but your safety is the most important thing here and any caution is too much. Any question?” This time it was Trinity who raised her hand. “How close can we stay to you?” “Can I hold your arms?” Sofia asked. Y/n only laughed and put her backpack on. “Calm down girls, there is enough of me for everyone. Now, who is ready to dive?”

Next thing I know Y/n was helping the girls with their equipment and Alex poked me. “Really Kell? You’re almost drooling over her.” “Can you blame me? Look at those muscles.” “She is more than just that, you know?” “I know, but how can I not want that? She is smart, strong, funny, and hot. She is friends with the fishes, sharks, and almost the whole marine life. She is basically the female Aquaman.” “Kids, why did I have to stay in the kids group?” She walked away and Y/n came near me to help me with the equipment.

“Everything is good?” Y/n asked. “Yep.” “Great. Let's finish our tour then and wish for it to end with a success.” She said finishing tightening the strap. “Success? I thought you said we didn’t have to worry about it.” She looked at me. “You don’t. Not on my part anyway.” I looked at her confused. “What do you mean?” “You know the story, the hero saves the ladies from the sharks and gets the girl in the end.” “Who says you were the hero?” “We are in a small boat Kelley.” A smirk appeared on her face and she went near the edge of the boat. “But don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you have a thing for Aquaman.” She winked at me and jumped in the water. Oh God, I have a thing for the female Aquaman.

[elisysd]

Seasons – Bebe Rexha

Masterlist - Previously - Next Chapter

I lie awake inside a dream And I run, run, run away from me

Sitting on the bed, in the little apartment she rents, she sighs. She doesn’t seem to get her lines right. She is supposed to begin the shoot of her movie tomorrow at Jardin Exotique. It’s going to be beautiful; she knows it, she went there to get a hold of the atmosphere. But no matter how heavenly the locations where the movie is being shot are, she can’t seem to forget how nightmarish the three months shooting is going to be.

She is an actress. A pretty good one. Hell, she was nominated for Best supporting actress last year. Didn’t get the award though. Damn Florence Pugh… But since her big break in the last Steven Spielberg movie, she is getting calls from a lot of people dying to work with her. Well, her agent Sophia is getting calls while she is trying to stay away from this madness as much as possible. People would say she is ungrateful. After all, she is living the dream life of so many people. But she doesn’t see it that way.

All that she has ever wanted to do is telling stories. She has always loved acting for as long as she can remember. Having the possibility to be another person, to craft the life of an imaginary character from A to Z and Z to A, that’s what she loves the most. All the characters she had the chance to embody, she knows them like the back of her hand. They are a part of her more than she is a part of them. She never wanted to be famous, she just happened to be. She always chose her projects because it resonated deeply with her, no matter if it was a short movie, an independent one or the latest fantasy of a masterminded director.

Of course she worked hard to be where she is today. She left her home country as soon as she turned 18 to go to London to pursue her passion. She has eaten more BLT sandwiches in her life than caviar and drinking champagne. Her acting debut were not easy, far from it. She fought to get where she is today. It’s just the fame aspect of her job that she is struggling with. But lately it seems to be harder than usual.

She booked a role in a romantic comedy. She has never done one of those so when she got the opportunity, she took it, thinking that it would be fun. It’s a low budget movie, it doesn’t have the ambition to be serious. She liked the script and thought that after the Steven Spielberg’s movie that got her the Oscar nomination it would be a nice change. People, and by people mostly journalists, thought that she would aim for bigger and more dramatic roles, things that could get her an Oscar for, this time, best actress. But it was never her intention. Sure, it was nice to be recognized by industries professionals, but it was never her goal. She doesn’t act to get awards. She acts because it’s where she feels like she belongs.

The movie is about an interior decorator that gets a contract with the royal family of Monaco. It’s a cliché story, a nobody that happens to catch the attention of the prince, but in the beginning, Sally the woman she’s playing, doesn’t know about him and happens to be quite mean to him. It’s a basic enemies to lovers story. But she doesn’t care, she likes it.

At first, when she learned that she was actually shooting in Monaco and not in some studios with green screen, she was excited. It’s a dreamy location and it would not be far away of where she grew up. She comes from a small town in the east of France. She thought that it would be a good opportunity to see her family. With her career, she didn’t get to see her loved ones very often. Christmas was quite lonely these last few years for her. But then reality hit her like a truck driving at the speed of light with no brakes functioning.

There is a reason she doesn’t live in Los Angeles and rather stay in London. She hates all the sparks and hypocrisy that come with Los Angeles. People flaunting their money and designer bags, fake friends pretending to like you because you are popular at the moment but as soon as you are starting to lose interest from the public eye, you become irrelevant, the endless partying… she hates everything there. Sure, she lost some professional opportunities when she made it clear that she would never move there. But she rather loose contracts than who she is. London is where she loves to be. She doesn’t dream, nor want to go anywhere else.

Monaco reminds her of Los Angeles. Luxurious cars, luxurious shops, luxurious everything everywhere. People like to show off. She doesn’t. So she doesn’t go out much, only when she needs it… Though she arrived in Monaco with the firm intention to spend the few weeks before the beginning of the shooting behaving as the perfect tourist, she has to admit she completely failed. She doesn’t like the vibe. And when she doesn’t like something, good luck to change her mind.

So she spent her days locked in her apartment, learning her lines, and breaking down her script and her nights near the beach, when people are out in bars and clubs and when the city is less crowded. Really, Monaco doesn’t feel like a dream to her.

The only thing that she admits enjoying is the sweet piano melodies that she sometimes hear from the apartment below hers…

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 5/16/2023

used up all my words writing fic this week, this is uncharacteristically short

listening

the last time i listened to this song, i was in a rental car on the way back to umass from seeing The Last Jedi with some friends. real oldheads: do you remember the mustang we all made fun of with lights that projected a little running horse onto the ground? that was the rental car.

this is a perfect feelgood summery song. no notes.

how'd i find this: listening to the s/tar wars rewatch podcast A More Civilized Age reminded me of how i cried in sheer rage at the end of The Las/t Jedi lol

-

reading

this is one of the coolest textile/data/activism projects ive ever heard of.

Even with natural dyes, for the most part, people don’t think about their water quality. They don’t understand that the invisible things in the water can affect the outcome of the color. You know, it’s just like, “Oh, madder is red, so I’m gonna get a red textile.” But there are so many more steps in dyeing a piece of fabric with a plant dye, or an insect dye. It’s not as easy as just putting some plants in a pot and turning the water heat up.

The goal of using color was to be able to visually demonstrate that not all water is the same. I was hoping to see if I could sort of pull out the pollution, but then what I figured out was that it’s very complex. It’s very possible that I’m demonstrating pollution, but I think I need to gather and do way more tests in order to prove something. 

-

watching

a bunch of stuff, but a lot of surface level critique.

Symphony for a Massacre (1963, Deray) is a french noir i picked somewhat at random bc it was on my library's streaming service. this is a film about a drug shipment, counterfeit money, and multiple double crosses (but none of them overlap in interesting ways) that takes you by the arm and drags you along, unwavering, toward the end. i want to sound less complimentary than i do there, but i can't be bothered. wanted to like it, it didn't grab me. i had some difficulty telling actors apart, and i don't think anyone's performance stood out except for the wife of a club owner, who flings her jewel box at someone's feet to pay her husband's debt.

Maverick (1994, dir. Donner) is full of guys i love to see (Molina, Coburn, Garner) but committed the unforgivable sin of reminding me that there were two much better movies i could be watching instead: Silverado (1985, dir. Kasdan) and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989, Spielberg). Jodie Foster is extremely fucking hot and more than holds her own. i think my big beef with this film is that i don't care for mel gibson as an actor or a person. also, this film cannot decide if it wants to be a comedy or an action-adventure (even though there are many funny action-adventure films) and as a result does neither genre well. i said "oh come ON" out loud at the final twist.

also rewatched The Batman (2022, dir. Reeves). i don't know why either. i think if it ended on the roof of gotham square garden and we didn't have the following goodbye scene with catwoman AND the following arkham scene, it would have stuck its landing a little better. wish this movie wasn't visually so fuckin dark, bud. throw some contrast in there.

-

playing

friday afternoon, remembered i had a code for Powerwasher Simulator, and since then i have played almost twenty hours. i've also almost caught up with A More Civilized Age, a podcast in the Austin Walker extended universe about rewatching all of star wars. five star podcast five star runtime

most importantly, BIG FOOKIN DISH

it is so very seductive to open this game and have my brain turn off. it is SO seductive to feel like i am actually accomplishing tangible things. unfortunately, i need to do many things with no tangible results (or no tangible results i will see for many months, which is almost as bad) and i seem to have fucked up my shoulder by playing too much viddy gaem.

the writing in this game (mostly in the form of text messages from your clients that pop in as you hit certain cleaning milestones) is so goddamn funny. this is a job sim game. there are eight billion of these games. they didn't have to be funny at all

-

making

read my pornography. it has math jokes. you do not need to have read anything else i've written.

[okuberlik]

Your Twin Peaks fun fact of the day

Day #24

As you may have noticed I'm kind of running out of long facts. So in this post I'll write numerous short facts to compensate.

Here they are:

Steven Spielberg, who was a big fan of the show, was originally set to direct the first episode of the second season before David Lynch decided to direct it himself.

The character Maddie Ferguson is from Missoula, hometown of series creator David Lynch.

In Sheriff Harry S. Truman's office, there is a buck's head mounted on the wall and a plaque reading "the buck stopped here," a reference to President Harry S Truman's famous motto, "the buck stops here."

Deputy Hawk was not present in the original pilot script. In his place was an African American deputy named Bernie Hill.

Each episode of Twin Peaks was written sequentially; this allowed the overall plot to gather momentum as it progressed but allowed for the organic process of adding new elements as the writers thought of them; a process favored by series co-creator David Lynch. It also allowed Mark Frost, Lynch's partner in creating the series, to plan ahead to ensure plot details and threads would be revisited as necessary.

[thealmightyemprex]

Halloweenathon :Tiny Toons Night Ghoulery

This time lets dive into a 90's cartoon classic ,with Tiny Toons

This 1994 Halloween special homages the Rod Serling show Night Gallery as it parodies the Tell Tale Heart ,Casper the Friendly Ghost ,Stephen Spielbergs Duel ,Devil and Daniel Webster ,the films of Abbott and Costello ,Night of the Living Dead,Frankenstein and thye Twilight Zone episode Nightmare on 20000 Feet

SOoooooo confession time.....I barely remember Tiny Toons.I know I saw re runs when I was very little and of the Spielberg shows possibly my favorite at that time .....But I have never come across it on either reruns, DVD or on streaming like I did say Animaniacs ,Pinky and the Brain or Freakazoid(Which is now my favorite of the Spielberg shows ),so my memory of it is very vague .However judging by this special,I should revisit it cause this was very funny

So I am gonna rank the segments from least favorite,but this is where I am gonna giv my biggest compliment....There are NINE segments....And I wanted more .Not all are great ,but I had mostly a fun time watching

Also keep in mind I am basically watching this blind, I havent seen the show in over 20 years so if I am missing a character name or in joke .....Sorry .The characters I know are Plucky , Hamton ,Buster,Babs ,Elmyra and Montana Max,but thats about it .I have decided not to do much research and do this as a blindwatch ,as if I was just stumbeling upon this on TV

9,"Sneezer the Sneezing Ghost,theres a sneezing mouse ghost vs a cat and it was kind of not funny

8.A Gremlin on a Wing is just ....dull .Its just a bunch of Star Trek jokes cause "LOL William Shatner was in the original Twilight Zone episode " was disappointed this was the last segment "

7."Frankenmyra and Dizzygor its an OK FRankenstein parody ,I just dont like Elmyra

6.Night of the Living Dull,now this is when we get to the funny ones I did get a laugh out of this but its a super short one

5."The Devil Dog on the Moors" I dont know if this is making fun of anything in particular ,other then just the superstitious folks in a tavern trope (Personally gave me American Werewolf in London vibes ),but there are some funny lines and the ending got a laugh out of me

4.Fuel : a parody of Stephen Spielbergs Duel ,this had the single funniest moment in the entire special for me ,mainly cause it is a brillaint parody of a specific scene from that film

3.Hold That Duck isnt even really a parody its a loving tribute to the comedy of Abbott and Costello ,with Buster as Bud and Plucky as Lou.It not the funniest but you can tell the creative team LOVES Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein cause gags are taken directly from it as is the line deliverys of John Kassir as Buster and Joe Alasky as Plucky

2.Daniel Webfoot is epspcially hilarious to me cause I recently watched Devil and Daniel Webster this year ,so Plucky's rambeling about America is so true to that story ,Montana Max is perfect as the guy who sold his soul ,and it got RON PERLMAN as Satan hard to top that

1.The Tell-Tale Vacuum a wonderful brillaint parody of Edgar Allan Poes Tell Tale Heart ,with great gags,funny lines and great vocal performances by Joe Alasky and Don Messik (Also did not intend for Plucky segments to take the top three spots but those segments were the best )

Also props to Tress McNails wonderful performance as Babs in the wraparounds,the perfect host ,and it really captures the feel of Night Gallery

OVerall very fun special

@ariel-seagull-wings @metropolitan-mutant-of-ark @the-blue-fairie @angelixgutz @filmcityworld1 @themousefromfantasyland @amalthea9 @princesssarisa

[darter-blue]

So- I’ve been going through your blog for a few weeks now and reading your fics, but I just watched Endgame. I watched it yesterday and I need some comfort fics where it’s soft and the boys are in love because I feel attacked by the Russos and extremely disappointed 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 any fics you can recommend for a poor lost soul????

Hey there gorgeous Nonnie,

Oh, endgame will leave you in a nasty place for sure, but yes honey, I have a few fics that will put you right.

Here is a little list of fluffy fun for you, read and get your happy stucky vibes back. And let's pretend that other nonsense never existed, shall we? Good bub.

Becs fluffy recs:

they're gonna send us to prison for jerks by napricot

This is mostly inspired by this tumblr post and Sebastian Stan's hilarious look for I, Tonya in general. This was supposed to be a short lolzy undercover/mistaken identity type thing, but whoops. Now it's 24k of lolz and feelings!

Effects of Obliteration by geneticallydead

I wanted to write a Winter Soldier recovery fic, but with some kind of spin where there isn't the inherent angst of the Soldier, you know, trying to flat out murder Steve on several occasions.

So um, ta da?

*throws fic at you and runs*

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail by MusingsOnBuckyBarnes, owlet

The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect

(Always rec this fic for comfort reading)

Sweater Weather by odetteandodile

hi all, i was in the mood for some lighthearted fall-themed shrunkyclunks and here's where we ended up!

enjoy some awkward flirting, banter, puppy-eyes, and fluffs.

The Right Wrong Number by giselleslash

Steve's one night stand blows him off with a wrong number, which just happens to be Bucky's number...

Steve Rogers. Cheerfully Slutty. by relenafanel

Steve Rogers. Cheerfully Slutty. But not going to take your shit about it.

Bucky Barnes. Voted most likely to fall in love first.

Red Carpet Rescue Mission by darter_blue

Just in case you, like me, are in the mood for adorable stucky shenanigans, I present this little bit of fun, based on the cutest anecdote I've heard in forever:

Irish presenter, Angela Scanlon, doesn't recognise Steven Spielberg at the BAFTA's

Subliminal Advertising by Kalee60

Hello and welcome to this absolute ridiculous story 

This came about from an actual visit to the supermarket when I not so proudly caught myself staring at a very nice looking man who may have had a wonderful shoulder to waist ratio that made me think of Steve... 

Love in Aisle Four by ixalit

When Bucky needs to swing by the supermarket after a long, hard day of work, the last thing he expects is to meet a cute grocery clerk named Steve…

When you say nothing at all by becassine

Sometimes the best conversations are never spoken aloud.

aka Bucky remembers some of his & Steve's more memorable kisses throughout their years.

Compatible - A Romantic Science Fiction Thriller in Four Parts by the1918

This fic was born into the world as a disgusting, smutty PWP plot bunny full of every a/b/o trope in the book. Then I watched it accidentally grow a plot and even sprout some world building. I apologize for what I have created.

night by the_gods_wife

Ch. 1: Steve and Bucky have to work together to neutralize a threat.

Ch. 2: Bucky is forced to defuse a tense situation

Stucky Tumblr Drabbles by TrekChik

A collection of Stucky drabbles, really a series of Meet-Cutes with an occasional high-context relationship, all about 1000 words or less.

Crash and Burn by HaniTrash

When you're the most feared assassin in the international spy world, who happens to also be an Omega, it's not exactly easy to scrounge up a willing partner. After all, everyone assumes you're an Alpha based on your size and generally grumpy nature. The website is an online matching service that seemed doubtful to his skeptical mind, but all he's looking for is a cock to ride out his heats with instead of doing all the work himself. Should be simple enough, right?

💗💗💗

There you go nonnie, lots of juicy fun fluff and smut for you to sink your teeth into. As always, mind the ao3 tags and ratings and enjoy!!!

[charincharge]

Cruel Summer, Part 6

cruel summer masterlist

AN: Today was ~dramatic~ -- I woke up to learn that someone was posting this fic on AO3 and passing it off as their own. It was a BUMMER, to say the least, and it really threw me off. I haven’t posted fic in a decade, and I was really using this as a fun way to remember how much I loved writing (since doing it professionally can seriously zap the fun out of it). And hearing that someone stole my work made me incredibly upset and feel generally violated. I know it’s just fic, but... I work hard to write it and don’t think it’s too much to ask to receive the credit for it? I hope this chapter doesn’t reflect that because I was really excited for this one! Anyway. TL;DR, I ended up creating an AO3 page, so no one can post FOR me moving forward. I’ve updated my Masterlist page accordingly. And please don’t plagiarize, guys, it’s not cool. Okay. Enough of that negativity. Let’s get back to the important things. Like Rowan.

Rain pelts against Rowan’s window, casting a dark, ominous hue over his bedroom. His first real day off from work, and it’s storming outside, naturally. He’d planned to take it easy and go to the beach, maybe go for a long run. But it looks like that’s not happening now. He knows he’s being punished. This is the universe’s way of intervening and letting him know how shitty he is. Rowan can’t shake the image of Aelin’s hurt face. It is seared into his brain. And there’s only one way to get it out.

Rowan lounges back into his pillows and opens his laptop before typing in Aelin Ashryver into his internet browser. Her Facebook profile pops up immediately, but it’s set to Friends Only, and Rowan definitely isn’t brave enough to add her as a friend. Her Instagram appears next, and Rowan nearly jumps for joy that it’s a public profile.

The first picture is of the back of her head, her blonde hair piled high on top of her head in a messy bun, with tendrils curling around the nape of her neck, overlooking her balcony and the view of the ocean beyond. She’s back, bitches the caption reads, and Rowan can’t help but chuckle. Next is Aelin with her entire family at the head of Ashryver Playland in a picturesque pose with the caption Favorite place with my favorite people (minus @dorhav118 who gets in TOMORROW!!!!). The corners of Rowan’s lips curl downward as his curiosity gets the better of him, and he clicks on Dorian’s profile.

Rowan rolls his eyes at Dorian’s bio: “Hot as a pistol, but cool inside.”

His heart tugs at seeing the first picture. It’s from the pool party the other day, when Aelin was still in her white dress. She’s laughing at something Dorian said, her eyes closed tightly, glass of champagne in her hand, while Dorian smizes into the camera. Reunited and it feels so good <3

“Who kicked your puppy?” Manon asks from the doorway, and Rowan slams his laptop shut.

“No one.”

A wicked grin appears on her face as she stalks into Rowan’s room and slides onto the bed next to him. “I have a pretty good idea.”

Rowan sighs as Manon reaches over and opens the laptop back up, her long nails clacking against the keyboard. “Just as I thought.” She looks Rowan over, from the bags under his eyes to his hair, messy from constantly running his hands through it. “We’re going out.”

Rowan looks out the window at the torrential downpour and gray skies. “Out? In that? Where?”

“I don’t know,” Manon admits, “But I’m not letting you mope and stalk Aelin all day. It’s pathetic, and below you, to be frank. There’s got to be something we can do in this godforsaken town when it rains.”

It turns out there’s not that many options for what to do when it rains in the small beach town. Mostly everything is outdoors or beach oriented. But Manon decides that the aquarium is a good indoor activity, and it happens to be next to a brewery – for when they get bored. The pair Uber there, not wanting to deal with the hassle of worrying about sobering up. If Rowan’s not allowed to mope and be pathetic at home, he’s going to do today right. And do it drunk.

Despite it being one of the few indoor activities available, the aquarium is fairly deserted when Manon and Rowan arrive. It’s dark and damp and cool and strangely soothing, and Rowan lets Manon lead the way. She heads immediately for the reptile room, thrilled to see the alligators and lizards and snakes. Somehow Rowan isn’t surprised by this development.

They branch off into a small Amazon Rainforest room, filled with frogs and fish and even more snakes on low hanging branches, and Rowan nearly jumps out of skin when a large bird caws in his direction.

“I fucking hate birds,” he grumbles as Manon cackles in delight. “Can’t we see… cuter animals? Like, turtles and seals or some shit?”

Manon rolls her eyes and leads him straight to the shark tank. It’s open, so they can lean over it and look at the giant creatures. Rowan grits his teeth, only slightly terrified at the image of the fin cutting through the surface of the water.

“You know what you’re feeling is totally false,” Manon comments casually.

“Huh?” Rowan says, trying to maintain his calm façade.

“Sharks aren’t predators of humans. That’s the Jaws effect in action. It completely changed our perception of sharks and actually sparked a hunting frenzy that has put sharks in danger, even though they were just an important part of the ecosystem. Fuck you, Spielberg.” 

Manon purses her darkly painted lips and twirls her white blonde hair, leaning over the tank further. Rowan shakes his head at his roommate, who looks like she wants to reach into the water and pet the fucking things. He’s never seen her so affected before. 

“Why are you like this?” he asks, and she laughs.

“You’re not thinking about her anymore, though, are you?”

Rowan flicks her off. “I wasn’t.”

“A few more rooms will get you right back to that terrified place and not thinking about her at all. Don’t you worry.” She winks and leads him into an incredibly dark room, which is only lit up with glowing jellyfish. Manon is right, and within a few minutes, Rowan is feeling calm again. He lets the dark and schools of weird underwater creatures soothe him, and after they finish at the aquarium, Rowan is grateful he let Manon drag him out of the house.

“Beer?” she asks, and Rowan nods readily.

“I think I earned it.”

“Shut up, you fucking loved it. Think we should get a fish tank?” she asks, and Rowan shakes his head immediately. Manon is strange enough without tending to creatures from the deep in their apartment.

They brave the rain, realizing they both forgot umbrellas, and make a mad dash down the street. Rain soaks Rowan’s shirt, but he feels light. They duck into the brewery, and Rowan shakes out his hair, spraying water all over Manon, like a wet dog. He’s never seen her look so horrified.

“You’re lucky I set my makeup, so it’s immoveable every day,” she says with narrowed eyes. “First round’s on you, asshole.”

Rowan orders them two beers fairly quickly, despite the brewery being packed with patrons (he guesses this is where everyone goes when it rains). But when he turns around to hand Manon her drink, he’s surprised to see her mid-conversation with the very last person he wants to see.

“Rowan!” Dorian calls him over with a wide smile, and Rowan grimaces as he joins them. “I was just introducing myself to your stunning roommate,” Dorian says, and Manon rolls her eyes. But Rowan knows she’s beaming internally with the praise. Manon knows she’s beautiful and doesn’t let anyone forget it, despite her lack of interest in men.

“Uh, hey, Dorian, right?” Rowan says, pretending like he wasn’t just browsing the man’s Instagram profile merely hours ago.

Dorian laughs heartily. “Rowan, come on. We’re friends. Any friend of Aelin’s is a friend of mine.” He grins again, and Rowan can’t help but stare at his incredibly white teeth. He wonders if he whitens them. He must, because no one’s teeth are that naturally white. Or straight.

“Come sit with us!” Dorian points to their table where Aelin sits with the same two people from last night.

“Sure!” Manon says, the same time Rowan says “NO!” emphatically.

“Come on,” Dorian pleads. “We have a big table, and the place is packed. You’ll be lucky to find standing room otherwise. Please, Aelin would be horrified if I let you leave without saying hi.”

Rowan’s stomach churns, but he feels trapped. He can’t say no. “Lead the way,” he says, and Dorian smiles another blinding smile.

“Great.”

He leads them to their table, and to say that Aelin looks shocked to see Rowan approach would be an understatement.

“Look who I found!” Dorian exclaims, gesturing to Rowan and Manon, who stand next to the table awkwardly. “Chaol, Nesryn – these are two of Aelin’s friends, Rowan and Manon.”

The brunette dude, Chaol, gives Rowan a tight smile and short head nod, but the woman, Nesryn, stands and shakes both their hands politely.

Rowan and Manon slide into the two empty seats, and of course Rowan is directly across from Aelin. She looks at him curiously as he takes a large sip of his beer.

“So, how do you know Aelin?” Chaol asks, breaking the awkward silence.

“Rowan works at the park,” Dorian explains. “And Chaol is Aelin’s ex-boyfriend and my other best friend,” Dorian chuckles.

“It’s not as awkward as it sounds,” Chaol says with a laugh.

Aelin squints her eyes and looks at Chaol. “Mmm… it kind of is.”

Manon snorts. “You’re a handful, aren’t you?” she says, leaning toward Aelin, and Aelin flips her golden hair over her shoulder and shrugs.

“Two handfuls, thank you very much,” she says and feels herself up, showing how her chest spills over her hand, too much for one to grasp fully.

“Aelin!” Chaol chides, and Rowan can feel heat creep up the back of his neck as he stares at Aelin’s ample cleavage as she lifts it up.

Dorian cackles, his laugh piercing through the room as he tips his head back. He reminds Rowan of Manon when he does it, so amused with others’ discomfort.

Rowan glances back at Aelin’s chest, and when he looks up, she’s staring back at him, one brow raised in question. He immediately finishes the rest of his beer, downing it in one gulp.

“I need more beer. Anyone else?” Rowan asks, and to his surprise, Chaol stands and offers to come with him.

The pair stand side by side at the bar, waiting for their drinks, and Rowan is unsure of what to say to his current crush’s former paramour.

“So…” Chaol begins, and Rowan cocks an eyebrow at him as he leans against the bar. “You were at The Mason Jar last night,” Chaol says, naming the dive bar where he’d met up with the guys the night prior. “Aelin booked it to the bar when she saw you,” Chaol continues. “You guys, like, a thing?” he asks, curiosity seeping through his anything but innocent question.

“What?” Rowan says, bowled over. “No. Uh. Not at all.” Rowan is more than flustered. “I thought she and Dorian were…”

And at that Chaol tips his head back and guffaws. A deep, full-body belly laugh, erupts from his mouth. “Dorian?” he gapes, his brown eyes wide with disbelief. “And Aelin?” He shakes his head. “No. No no no. Never.” Chaol pauses. “They kissed once when they were thirteen, but other than that. No. Dorian is her person. Which is why it could never work between us, even though we tried for five fucking years,” he sighs and scratches the back of his neck uncomfortably. “But, no. They’re definitely not.” Chaol looks at Rowan, and Rowan feels like he’s seeing through him completely. Chaol smiles softly. “You really thought? Hmmm.”

Rowan is stunned. Seriously stunned. He has no idea how to react. Or how to process this new information. Dorian and Aelin are not dating? They’re just… friends? So, Aelin is available? And has been flirting with Rowan for the past week, and Rowan just shot her down? Rowan rubs his forehead with his hand, which he thinks is the only thing stopping him from banging his head against the bar in shame. Rowan is an idiot.

An idiot who needs to apologize to Aelin. Immediately.

“This was, uh… enlightening,” Rowan says as he accepts his drink from the bartender, and Chaol can’t help but laugh again.

“Did you do something stupid?” he asks cheekily.

“So stupid,” Rowan says, shaking his head.

“Yeah, she was kind of in a mood after she came back from talking to you,” Chaol says, and Rowan groans. Chaol holds up his hands in surrender. “Just trying to help!”

Rowan turns to him fully and examines the brunette with his concerned brown eyes and has to ask, “Not to be rude, but why?”

“Because Aelin deserves to be happy,” he says resolutely. “And I kept her from being happy for a really long time because I’m a selfish bastard,”Chaol admits way too freely. “But, how could I not?”

“You still love her,” Rowan says, and Chaol shrugs.

“I think once you love Aelin you always love her. For better or worse.”

Rowan motions to the table. “I’m gonna…”

Chaol smirks. “Yeah, get to it.”

But back at the table, Aelin and Dorian are nowhere to be found. Manon sighs, obvious to Rowan’s distress.

“She went to sign up for karaoke.”

“Oh no…” Rowan groans.

“Oh, yes,” Aelin says, bounding back to the table, exuberant.

“Don’t worry. I signed you up, too, Rowan,” Dorian says with a grin.

Aelin frowns, her eyes filled with apology. “I told him not to.”

Dorian rolls his eyes. “And I told her that if Rowan wants to hang with us this summer, he’s gotta get initiated.”

“It’s fine,” Rowan says, smiling in what he hopes is a nice and not creepy way to Aelin. She looks momentarily confused, but she doesn’t have time to think about it because she’s called up to do her song with Dorian almost immediately.

The pair sing “Shallow” flawlessly. And now that Rowan knows they aren’t dating, he can see their friendship all too clearly. Aelin and Dorian love each other fiercely; their passion rages through everything they do, but it lacks a spark. It’s platonic, Rowan finally realizes. He’s been such a fucking fool.

Rowan’s name gets called next, and his stomach is is knots, wondering what song they’ve chosen for him. When he gets to the front, though, he nearly laughs. They’ve chosen a song he could sing with his eyes completely closed.

Shorty get down, good lord… baby’s got ‘em up all over town…

Strictly biz she don’t play around, cover much ground, got game by the pound

Getting paid is her forte

Each and every day, true player way

I can’t get her out of my mind

Think about the girl all the time…

He knows the song is comeuppance for calling Aelin friendly last night, but he crushes it nonetheless, singing his heart out, performing for the masses. When Rowan finishes, the crowds go wild, applauding like crazy.

He sees Aelin bolt from the table before he can get back off the stage, and decides to follow her. She heads down the long hall back to the bathrooms, and his long stride helps him catch up quickly.

“Aelin!” he shouts, and he’s grateful that she pauses, but her arms are crossed over her chest, a clear defensive stance that tells him to keep his distance.

“What?” she snips, obviously pissed. They haven’t actually interacted with each other since last night, and Rowan knows she has every right to be angry with him. “I thought you wanted nothing to do with me? What are you even doing here, Rowan?”

“I’m an idiot,” he blurts out, and he can see Aelin’s face morph from pissed to amused. She bites her lip to hold back her smile.

“I mean, I know that, but why do you think that?” she says, her blue gold eyes glowing with challenge. He takes a step closer to her, and she backs up until she can’t back up anymore, pressed against the side of the hall. He pauses his approach, not wanting to make her feel cornered. If she wants space between them, he’ll let her have space.

“I was so out of line last night,” Rowan apologizes. “You were right. You were just trying to be friendly. I was being a dick. I thought…” Rowan pauses. He doesn’t want to be this tongue tied, but she flusters him, and he can’t get anything out how he wants to. “It’s not harassment when I want to be touched. By you.”

Aelin’s eyes narrow. She looks suspicious as she examines him. 

“I knew I was good at karaoke, but damn, I didn’t anticipate this kind of turnaround…” Aelin smirks and takes a breath, and Rowan risks taking another step forward. She holds up a hand and presses it against Rowan’s chest. He didn’t realize how close he’d gotten to her. Warmth from her palm seeps through his shirt, and he breathes heavily. She looks up into his eyes with curiosity.

“Seriously, what changed your mind?” she asks.

“If I say Chaol’s name right now it’s just going to make things weird,” Rowan says, dipping his head slightly, and he can’t help but notice her tilt her head up to him. He zeroes in on her lips, leaning down to get even closer.

“You’re right,” she says with a soft laugh. “You were still a jerk.” Her eyes flick to his lips, and Rowan darts his tongue out to wet them. 

“I know,” he breathes softly. “And I mentioned I was an idiot, right?”

Aelin nods and leans in to close the gap between them, the charge, the magnetism between them now palpable, strumming through Rowan’s body, pulling him downward. 

“Hey guysss,” Dorian drawls as he walks past them quickly, and Rowan straightens up suddenly. Aelin darts under his arm, freeing herself from being backed into the wall. He sees her take a large breath. “I was wondering where you’d gone.” Dorian looks between them, and then grabs his stomach. “I have to pee so bad. Don’t mind me!” He continues down the hall. “As you were!”

Rowan goes to finish his apology, but the moment is gone, and so is Aelin. He needs a moment to compose himself, and when he makes it back to the table, she’s already deep in conversation with Manon and Chaol and Nesryn about the latest karaoke performance. Apparently in his absence someone murdered “Bohemian Rhapsody” and not in a good way. But Aelin acknowledges Rowan’s presence with a flash of a smile, despite not breaking her conversation.

Manon side eyes Rowan suspiciously, and Rowan brushes her off. He’s not ready to talk about whatever just did or did not happen in that hallway.

Their chatter is aimless but pleasant as afternoon bleeds into evening, and eventually they all decide to disperse and head home. Rowan never gets a chance to speak to Aelin alone again, but when he and Manon are in their Uber heading home, his phone flashes with a Friend Request from Aelin Ashryver.

“Hmm,” Manon hums pointedly as Rowan bites back a smile. He spends the rest of the night in bed, scrolling through Aelin’s social media. As he’d originally planned to do with his day. Only now, he doesn’t feel as mopey or pathetic. He lets the rain, still relentless, lull him to sleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~

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[vanaera]

𝐌𝐲 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐣𝐣𝐤

Synopsis: A future technology allows cops to jump in the past and future to investigate crimes that have happened and prepare for those that are about to happen. A simple hit-and-run turns into something more when Captain Jeon Jungkook finds himself as the victim of a culprit who cannot be identified by the system. Especially when the culprit seems to be the same person behind the new case that’s threatening the order in the justice organization. All goes haywire when Jungkook gets involved with Y/N L/N, the clairvoyant sketch artist who may be his only help to solve the case. 

Characters: Jungkook x Female Reader 

Genre/AU: Sci-fi, mystery, angst, action, romance (cop!JK x artist!you), based on the movie Minority Report

Warnings: Dark themes and implied smut (in future chapters); heavy descriptions of a hit-and-run; mentions of blood from injuries and violent crimes (PG-16 Rating)

Chapters:

01: The Beginning

02: The Artist

03: The Damsel of Swords

04: ???

05: ???

06: ???

07: ???

08: ???

09: ???

10: ???

11: ???

12: ???

13: ???

14: ???

Story Notes:

How does time-traveling work in this world? (Read after reading Chapters 1 and 2 to avoid spoilers!)

A/N: This story is based on Steven Spielberg’s film adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s short story, Minority Report (2002). That being said, this series may contain spoilers for the movie so if you want to watch the movie, please do so first before reading! Minority Report is the sci-fi movie that convinced me to fall in love with science fiction and try a hand on it! 

If you wish to get added in the taglist just comment below this post so I can keep track of all of you! Hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I had fun writing this!

Disclaimer: All scenes and references from the movie used in this story are the property of the movie’s owners. The rest belongs to the author. This work is for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended.

All Rights Reserved 2020 © Vanaera. Reposts, modified versions, and translations of content are not allowed without my direct permission.

[kylekozmikdeluxo]

RIP Blue Sky Studios...

Established in February 1987... Iconic commercials, early innovation in CGI, packed to the brim with top talent, a rare East Coast-based house, and one of the first studios in a post-Don Bluth age to really challenge Disney and Pixar in the feature animation field...

Gone.

Once a subsidiary of 20th Century Fox, The Walt Disney Company had them since early 2019 after the acquisition of their parent company. It looked as if Disney was going to keep them around, despite already having two powerhouse animation studios making family features for them. I wondered back in the day if Disney could rebrand Blue Sky as a sort-of outre little studio that did more experimental, quirky fare as opposed to the more digestible works of Disney Animation and Pixar.

Even before the COVID-19 pandemic hit, signs were rather troubling. Despite a management change, you had the rather ho-hum marketing for SPIES IN DISGUISE. To me, Disney sort-of let that one disappear between FROZEN II and STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER. I found SPIES IN DISGUISE to be a fun little movie, with a timely pacifist message and memorable gags. Sadly, it did not make its money back. Even more troubling was the constant delaying of NIMONA, an adaptation of Noelle Stevenson’s webcomic of the same name from FEAST and PEARL director Patrick Osborne. From the rumblings I’ve heard, it looked to be an innovative CG film and a next-level family film in general. Like a next SPIDER-VERSE. It was to be released January 14, 2022. 70% of the film was completed by this point... It is no longer a reality, Blue Sky is done...

450+ animators and staffers out of a job during an awful worldwide crisis...

Why couldn’t The Walt Disney Company just sell off Blue Sky Studios to a distributor looking for more animation to stock up on? If they didn’t need more than two animation studios (see the shuttering of their own Disneytoon Studios in early 2018), why shutter them and wait so long to do so? I know that absorbing competition and killing it is nothing new, but this is **expletive** for a multitude of reasons. Multiple talent out of a job, more movies and work squashed, a nearly-completed film likely dead. (It would be great if it was instead on the market, so that someone could snatch it up and complete it, but we shall see...)

Blue Sky Studios were no slouches. ICE AGE established them, big time. In fact, I’d say they helped show the industry that the features world wasn’t just Disney’s game anymore. Disney had seen rivals in feature animation in the past, notably Don Bluth and Ralph Bakshi, but they continued through the decades while Bluth and Bakshi’s feature opportunities waned. Blue Sky, alongside DreamWorks and a fledgling Sony Pictures Animation, changed that, and they were here to stay. And it’s quite sad that Disney had to acquire this notable studio and shut them down, they would’ve thrived elsewhere because of the success of their previous work and the amount of talent they have/had over the years.

They have a pretty distinct body of work, too. ROBOTS, HORTON HEARS A WHO!, RIO, EPIC, THE PEANUTS MOVIE, FERDINAND, SPIES IN DISGUISE. Some of them, I’d argue, were quite innovative. ICE AGE stabbed at cartoony, Looney Tunes-esque humor and visual design. The work in that movie rung more Warner Bros. than it did Disney or something more naturalistic in design. Their later work embraced that kind of outlook as well, but you started seeing other studios doing this as well: DreamWorks with MADAGASCAR, Sony Animation with OPEN SEASON and CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS, and so on. The antithesis to the ever-more-realistic Pixar styles. Then Blue Sky just straight up redefined the computer animated feature with THE PEANUTS MOVIE, which not only kept the comic strip aesthetic of Charles Schulz’s iconic characters and world, but adapted them to a computer animated world while doing something new in the process. PEANUTS MOVIE, along with similar pictures like THE BOOK OF LIFE and CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS, are indeed stepping stones to SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE and what lies beyond that feature. In short, Blue Sky played a big part in computer animation showing that it didn’t just have to look like Pixar movies, or most other computer animated works that were out at the time of ICE AGE’s early 2002 release.

Who knows where that could’ve all gone. NIMONA looked to be something new and exciting, something to really push things forward and widen the computer animation canvas. A musical called FOSTER also sounded like it had potential. When TWDC acquired 20th Century Fox (now 20th Century Studios), Fox Animation in general had several animated films in development, hoping to branch out beyond their one studio... All of that seemingly died after the Disney acquisition, with only Blue Sky and a couple of Fox primetime TV-showed based movies (i.e. THE BOB’S BURGERS MOVIE, another - and inevitable - SIMPSONS picture) left. Now Blue Sky is gone. More animation, gutted. And for what? Disney didn’t have to do this...

It’s even more egregious when you consider where Disney was in 1991... As opposed to now, 2021...

Think of this... Under the controversial Michael Eisner, The Walt Disney Company was willing to sink a massive amount of money into a project that had already been cancelled. Said project was given to blockbuster king Steven Spielberg, hit director Robert Zemeckis, and animation mastermind Richard Williams. This was not even a few years after Disney was a quiet establishment being circled by corporate raiders that could’ve ended them for good... And what came of it. WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT. An innovative animation-live action hybrid movie for a more adult audience. One of the biggest films of 1988, a bonafide blockbuster that Disney hadn’t seen in years, and more than lit the fuse of animation’s 2nd Golden Age.

Then, in 1990, a former animator of theirs turned big-time director realizes that a short story he wrote while at the company was still owned by them. That man was Tim Burton, and he expressed interest in revisiting that poem. A studio was set up, with similarly outre director and former Disney animator Henry Selick taking the helm. The result was an innovative stop-motion film that leaned more towards horror and German expressionism than something like BEAUTY AND THE BEAST did. The result was THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS in 1993. A respectable hit then, an iconic classic today. Without NIGHTMARE, would have ever gotten future stop-motion efforts like CHICKEN RUN and everything Laika has made?

Finally, in 1991, Disney makes a three-picture deal with a small computer graphics studio based out of Marin County. One of their main guys was a former Disney animator as well, similarly outed for being too ambitious. Their plan? Make the world’s first all computer-animated movie. That studio was Pixar, their first movie was TOY STORY. Need I say more?

The Disney of today would’ve never in these three instances. Blue Sky could’ve been their chance to really make some kind of a splash in a post-SPIDER-VERSE world. Various shorts made at Disney Animation (including Osborne’s own FEAST) suggested this, and some Pixar shorts as well... But nothing really came of this. In terms of features being put out by Disney Animation and Pixar, only parts of MOANA, INSIDE OUT, and SOUL put this kind of thing in a long-form format. Blue Sky, who operated on smaller budgets, could’ve been their arm for more experimental feature animation. I say this because while Disney doesn’t need to hog up animation, Blue Sky was owned by them, and I felt the best way to go about this was to re-establish them as a more experimental studio. Make the most of it, you know? But no, they had to shut it all down.

When a studio shuts down, I feel a chunk of the animation world is just broken right off... While some of the artists are apparently being welcomed into various Disney houses, it sucks to see a studio with its own identity and output gone. Of course, my hope is that everyone employed there will have somewhere to go by April (when the studio shuts down completely) and that maybe, just maybe a new studio could be formed up from the remains. (Think Don Bluth setting up shop upon his departure from Disney in 1979.) Somebody has to get their happy ending, right? I know it’s moot asking for such a thing in this hellscape business of massive octopus conglomerates engulfing everything into their eight tentacles, but...

I wish everyone involved well, and that they’ll prosper afterwards. I certainly hope the 3/4 completed NIMONA doesn’t remain unfinished. (Netflix? Someone?) I hope to see some good come out of this...

[unholyhelbiglinked]

Camp Beaverbrook | 019

A/N: Things are in fact drawing to a close, which is kind of emotional for me because I’ve poured so much into this. But that being said- Major trigger warning. This one is rough. 

READ FROM THE START | AO3 LINK

A leaden bullet pierced skin with a sickening crunch akin to a twig snapping against just the slightest bit of pressure. It was almost instant, the scent of blood that filled the air. Beca Mitchell noticed the sharp pain in her wrist first, how hot the gun was against her palm and how much she wanted to let it fall to the dirt next to the patterned tire of the black El Dorado.

A thick syrupy blood rushed against Jesse’s hand. He let out a cry like a wounded animal and released his hold on Chloe to clench the gushing wound. She scrambled away best she could, behind Beca, behind the only weapon that the girls possessed.

“Fuck!” He shouted, stomping his foot against the ground as he let out a howl of pain that dissolved into a maddening laugher. “Ah, I should have seen that coming. Going for my arm. That was smart. A classic Bond move.”

He smiled at them then, halfway crouched over as the pale moonlight darkened the spot of slowly glowing liquid. Beca swallowed back the burning in her throat, hand quivering at the thought of shooting again. Just a bit of pressure and it would all be over. She had him right where she wanted him.

“Doesn’t the bad guy always end up going to jail?” Aubrey spoke up behind the open door of the car. Logic was replaced with an icy demeanor.

“Most of the time, yeah. They do. But they’re naive enough to work alone.” He laughed again, echoing against the trees. “Then again, you’re all clever enough to know I couldn’t be in two places at once. I didn’t have to be, I had help. I am the help.”

“You tried to drown me.” Beca’s voice was watery, her chest seizing as the memory of the murky waters toxic taste washed over her like waves. It made her tighten her grip, grit her teeth at the thought of it.

He smiled fondly at the memory. “I did, helped Chloe out with drying her hair too. Thought it would do the trick- but we got you pretty good, right?” Jesse’s attention was on Emily, steadily losing blood from the gash that pushed close to her knee. She grimaced and turned her cheek. The streaks would be easy to see against the ash.

“Who else?” Chloe’s voice was strong. Her nails digging into her palm. “Who are you helping?”

The smile faltered against his pale lips. Blood dripped in even drops from his fingertips. They twitched involuntarily from the cold, from the bullet that left a little mark in the tree behind him. A clean in and out wound that would call for some physical therapy, which he couldn’t’ attest to behind bars.

“Two lovers park a car along the side of the road after a long date, when they hear the radio crackle. It’s a special announcement.” He mocked at Aubrey; eyes glassy.

Beca’s chest seized. That stupid campfire story from the start of the summer. She had been buzzed and her mind focused too acutely on the fact that Chloe Beale was close. Close enough to smell her strawberry shampoo and the alcohol that riddled her breath. Nothing about it stuck out to her- the same story with the same killer, missing the rainy weather and the hook for a hand, but still a classic.

“Drowning… Strangling…” Aubrey’s voice was hushed, her unripe eyes trained at one spot on the ground that kept the world from spinning. When she glanced up, tears rolled towards her chin, gravity having no mercy. “You sick bastard, the camp story? That’s what all this is about? Recreating some urban legend?”

“Not an urban legend!” He exploded, voice echoing. “Did you know that poor terrorized kid had a son? Just a baby when he escaped. He’s grown now, old and dead and rotting in the ground. But he had a daughter, and that daughter had one of her own.”

This silenced the four girls. There were never any records to search for- maybe there was a kid who had been terrorized to the point of flowing insanity. A kid who was sent to an asylum and stewed against a padded room with a straight jacket binding him. Festering with revenge and finally getting far enough from his restraints to take it. Jesse seemed to quiver with excitement at the realization that washed over all four of them. The big plot twist that had been festering since day one.

A distinct sound mirroring that of a bullet pushing past tendons once again filled the air, but Beca had the sense not to pull the trigger. She hadn’t applied any pressure, in fact, the tip of the gun was pointed at the boy’s feet now, mouth half-way ajar and stomach in a series of knots.

An arrow.

It was silver against the metallic moonlight; it’s pointed tip pushing into Jesse’s throat. He sputtered and choked and released his hold on the bullet wound to attend to the new one. His teeth were stained black with blood, a gurgled attempt at words blocked by the arrowhead. Jesse Swanson fell to the dirt- body heavy and dark eyes somehow darker.

“He talked way too much.” The voice came from behind the craft director and her loyal lifeguard. Aubrey’s grip on the car door tightened and Emily stared blankly at the body that lay on the ground before directing her attention with the rest. “On and on about all the movie references. I mean God, can you just shut the fuck up?”

Stacie Conrad walked between two looming Douglas firs, her crossbow by her side. The same one she loaded with arrows each day. She had taught Emily well enough about aim- had gotten the tip to push past the black into the blue, telling her to keep her arm straight and keep her focus on the motions instead of the target.

She had opted out of the traditional bow now, switching to something that had more force, more control. Her white Camp Beaverbrook shirt was stained with sweat and dirt and something that looked like blood. It mixed into a terracotta red and hugged her perfectly in the moonlight.

“he stole my thunder,” She pouted, pushing her bottom lip out. “I didn’t get to see the looks on your faces when you found out about dear old grandfather. About daddy who’s locked up in bedlam. About Mommy who killed herself out of shame. Oh! There it is, that’s the one. Emily, you always come through, don’t you?”

“Stay back!” Beca prompted, finding her confidence, raising the gun back to her target.

“That’s endearing, sweetheart, but I think you’re out of bullets,” Stacie responded, staring her down. “Detective Wilken’s was kind enough to let me borrow it. He only came up here with a couple of rounds. I fired one into Gail’s head and you-“ She looked at the cook folded like laundry, chuckling. “You aimed for the arm.”  

Beca unclipped the magazine, fumbling with her numb fingers. Stacie was right- absolutely nothing but the vague scent of gun powder and a trembling in her chest. She pushed the gun aside, letting it fall to the ground next to the body and the slowly growing scent of blood.

“So what now?” Chloe croaked out “You torment us for weeks before killing us? Just like that?”

“Oh, I didn’t want to kill you. Not at first. I attacked Aubrey in that bathroom for a little bit of fun- but when she started blaming you, Beca, that’s when I knew I could push it further than my imagination could comprehend. It’s when I recruited Spielberg over there too. From there I suppose family instinct took over.”

Emily let out a grunt of pain, losing her grip on the front of the car, Chloe not there to hold her up, Aubrey twitching with anticipation to get near the girl. She narrowed her eyes, staring like she wanted to move, but couldn’t before an arrow could break skin.

“I knew the two of you would be smart enough to smell gas in the shed, but wow, did you cut it close? Really, the diving technique was impressive. And You?” Her eyes flicked towards Chloe “You’re just lucky that Beca was there to pull Jesse off.”

The youngest camper had edged to the bumper of the car, pushing her fingers into the dirt. She couldn’t stand anymore, her breath hissing. Her lips were blue under the moonlight, running out of time. Stacie’s eyes twinkled at this.

“Wouldn’t that have been a cool way to go?” She asked, “Murdered by a hairdryer, hell, pulled down in the murky water until you just let everything escape you? I always thought drowning would be the best way. Painful, but peaceful all at once.”  

“How…” Emily choked out, her voice deep her chest shaking. “How do you feel about burning alive?”

The flame was slight, a small edge in a sea of blue. It shaded Emily’s face in the warmest light, leaned up against the front of the car with as much strength as she could muster. A silver zippo that was in Jesse’s pocket. It emitted gas at an alarming rate, Emily’s aim the best it could be.

“Wha-“Stacie’s voice cracked as the leg of her jeans caught a hot ribbon of light trailing until it pressed against the base of her shirt. She dropped the crossbow, letting out a grunt as her hand rushed to pat out of the blaze to now avail. “Fuck, you fucking bitch!”

Chloe let out a scream of terror the best she could as she pushed into Beca’s neck, refusing to stare as the copper flame ate away at flesh. Their whole world became illuminated in a blazing red- shouts of pure pain and furry echoing against the trees as she dropped to her knees, and then her hands- the scent of burning skin pulling at the back of their throats rushing in their lungs.

Then it was quiet- the fire cracking against the mass, spreading across the grass like. Stacie’s fingers stretched past the flames, twitching as they melted. The warm color shading all of their faces, fire cracking without the story of an escaped patient. Just his granddaughter perishing in the night.

Aubrey was quick to kneel down next to Emily, her breath puffing out in short edges of smoke. She guided Emily’s amber eyes to hers, trying to see if they still flickered themselves, her chest moving in short rapid movements. “How did you know that would work?”

“It took me a long time to smell the gas in the shed.” Emily whispered, “Not this time. I just hoped she spilled enough on herself to…”

Her voice was fading, weak and webbed at the edges. Blood was smeared against the corner of her lips like neon paint against white canvas. Beca’s lungs felt heavy, filled with toxic lake water and slowly melting bones. Aubrey let out a thick breath and knelt down to Emily, moving her gaze, trying to get her to focus. The silver lighter twinkled under the moon.

“We have to get her to town,” Aubrey said, voice choked “She’s lost a lot of blood if we don’t-“

Chloe dropped down to the cold, wet grass before numbly searching Jesse’s pockets. She was holding her breath, patting down his bloodied shirt before pawing around his pants. Beca let the gun fall to the ground, bringing her palms up the hairline as she struggled to steady her breath. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Keys!” Chloe croaked out despite the pain her throat. “he had them on him, come on, I’ll drive.”

Things seemed to move in slow motion, Beca lifting Emily with ease, Aubrey holding her up from the other side. The black El Dorado sputtered and kicked until it roared to a vengeful life. The grass turning black as night, reflecting the edge of fire against the dusty windows of the old car. The tires skidding against mud before crunching against gravel.

Emily lay with her head in Aubrey’s lap, staring with golden eyes up at the padded ceiling with cigar burns sprinkled like a dalmatians coat. Beca sat in the passenger seat, holding on to the leather to keep her hands from shaking, Chloe white-knuckling the steering wheel. They drove quietly, precisely until the dirt turned to asphalt- sprinkled with green road signs leading to the next town over, speed no option.

“Is it over?” Emily whispered; voice weak. “Aubrey, is it over?”

Aubrey swallowed back the sour taste in her mouth, moving her thumb against the girl's cold cheek- her hair pulling away from kind and flickering eyes. “Yeah, Em. It’s over.”

[theswiftarmy]

#17 – We Go Live In Five Hours!

Scene 17: The Microsoft Theater at L.A. Live - Downtown Los Angeles - Daytime, Interior – Twelve O’clock Noon exact on Sunday November Twenty-Fourth, Twenty-Nineteen.

FINAL DRESS REHERSAL FOR THE AMERICAN MUSIC AWARDS

TAYLOR SWIFT, POINT OF VIEW: Watches as the show director for the American Music Awards, Jeffery, tells the show’s stars sitting in audience seats that they must run the entire show from the top as a full dress rehearsal, again.

CHANGE CAMERA SHOT, we ZOOM in on Taylor Swift, slowly, panning from a full shot of the stage.

WRITER: Oh yeah, this is good stuff.  I really should start writing this as a screenplay from here on out, so that way after Taylor Swift finds it and reads it, and then sends it over to her friends that made that “Cats” movie—and I am in turn contacted by Taylor herself along with a big time studio in Hollywood to get this masterpiece made into a movie, the screenplay will already be ready!  And THEN I can be all like, hey Steven Spielberg, you want in on this? And he’ll be all like… “Cut it, print it, ship it, sell it, baby!”  Or whatever snazzy jazzy lingo it is they use out in Hollywood—

EDITOR: Uh, I hate to break it to you, but this is never going to be a movie.  Can we talk about this?  First off, you’re never going to get all these people to agree to be IN a movie together in real life, what with the bad blood and all.  Plus, you do know that’s just not how it works… The process of getting a movie made is so much more complicated than posting awkwardly written fan fiction online for your idol to stumble upon it and fawn all over your wordplay—

WRITER: Just trample on my dreams why don’t you?

EDITOR: I’m just telling it like it is!  Dude, I’m not trying to let you down… But that’s not at all how Hollywood works!  Plus, I doubt Taylor is ever going to even see this story, she’s REALLY busy these days and you tend to ramble on and on in some sections, you should definitely be a little more concise instead of meandering around making your point, but keep dreaming…   Keep telling yourself: “Oh, look, Taylor Swift is going to find some random Tumblr novel about her and sit there reading the ENTIRE thing post by post completely captivated by your every word…”  Because THAT’s realistic!  Let me let you in on a little secret though, I don’t know how I feel about Taylor, I mean, have you read some of the stuff online about her?  The gossip against her…  Maybe you’re better off not capturing her attention… She could bad news my friend.

WRITER: Why don’t you go edit something?

EDITOR: Oh, yeah, because that’s a come back.  Why don’t you go right something?

WRITER: AH-HA!  See… And you call yourself an editor… don’t you mean WRITE something!?

EDITOR: No.  I mean what I said, ‘right’ something—right a ship that’s sinking fast—right something that’s going wrong…. Like this story, that’s going nowhere fast.

PRODUCER: Ohhhhhh… Sick burn!  Sick.  Burn.

WRITER:  Just leave me alone and stop crushing my dreams.  I know it’s never going to be a movie, I know Taylor is never going to read it—you don’t think I know that?  I know that… Just let me at least dream while I write this scene and stop being so mean.

EDITOR: Look at you, Mr. Poetic.  Alright… I’m gonna go play some Xbox, call me when you’re done.  Come on producer, I’ll let you pick the game.  We’ll leave the writer to his “dreams”.

EDITOR AND PRODUCER EXIT STAGE LEFT, THEY LAUGH AS THEY SLAM THE DOOR SHUT, WRITER STARES OUT WINDOW WATCHING SNOW FALL, SAPPY MUSIC PLAYS.  ZOOM IN ON WRITER FOR SHORT MONOLOGUE.

WRITER: If only I could make the Editor understand.  I just don’t see things the way he does.  I don’t see how a girl that makes such wonderful things, could be bad.  Look at this story!  Isn’t it neat?  Wouldn’t you think it’s cool and complete?  About a girl, a girl who has… Everything.  A trove, of treasures untold!  How many wonders can her song catalogue hold… Looking at her, well you’d think, sure, she’s got everything! She’s got catchy songs a plenty!  She’s got singles and albums galore.  You want music videos?  SHE’S GOT TWENTY!  But who cares, no big deal, she wants more.  I want to be where Taylor’s people are… I want to sing and be there dancing!  Hanging out with all her, what do you call them?  Oh, Swifties.  Being a fan of hers is cool and all but I want to do more than just jumping and dancing.  I want the cameras rolling along with a catchy musical… What’s that word again?  Oh yeah, beat… Up where they talk, up where it’s fun, up where they sing all day in the sun… Swiftie and free… Wish I could be, part of that world.  What would I give, if I could make movies with Taylor… What would I pay, to spend a day part of Taylor Swift’s band … Bet you she’s grand and understands and doesn’t reprimand someone’s daughters.  Bright young women, Swiftie women, taking a stand!    And I’m ready to join with her, ready to go!  Ask her a question, and get some answers… What’s her favorite cover song and how long did it take her to, what’s the word… Learn?  When’s it my turn, to make a movie about love, a lover for sure, she is she’s a lover in love… As everyone can see…  Sigh.  Wish I could be, part of that world… Maybe they’re right.  Maybe it’s silly to dream.  But what if Taylor never dared to follow her own dreams!  If she never picked up a guitar or played a single note on the piano.  What if she never tried at all, how many Swifties would be Swiftieless!  How many lives has she positively impacted with her music, with her kind words, with her retweets and reblogs on Tumblr, with her fan photo hearts, her genuine heart… and all her creative works of art…

WRITER SIGHS.  Writer continues tay-ping into the night on the computer keyboard…

“Everyone!  We’re going to do it again.  Because, right now?  I can’t.  I just can’t… I can’t even handle it. I can’t even look at it, I can’t even think about it, I can’t even say I can’t about it…”

“Calm down Jeff.  Okay?  Just breathe.  We’re gonna get it right.”

“Carol… It’s just… Everything is mess.  We go live at eight!  EIGHT!  They’re acting like it’s still tech week!  WE GO LIVE AT EIGHT!!!  And that’s New York time, which means we go live at FIVE here in L.A.”

“It’s okay.  You’re stressing yourself too much.”  Carol King stood on the stage with the director of the American Music Awards, Jeffery, attempting to reassure him.  A stage manager also stood nearby for backup should Carol’s efforts go in vain.

“Those two crack me up.”  Selena sat in the audience seat to the left of Taylor.

“Well, it does need to be perfect, Selena.”  Taylor reminded her.

“Speak for yourselves, I’m already perfect, did you see me during Tik Tok… NAILED IT.  And my new song… Oh HELL to the yeah.”  Kesha kicked her feet up and put them on an empty seat just to the left of Selena.

“Watch it!” Selena said turning her head slightly.  “I just had my hair done!”

Kesha wiggled her barefoot toes close to Selena Gomez, just inches from the new hair-doo, egging her on, Selena made a grossed out face shifting over in her seat closer to Taylor.  Kesha sat up. “WAIT!  You guys, I just had an idea!!!  I should make a TikTok video, during Tik Tok!”  Kesha impulsively yelled her idea immediately up to the stage, “JEFFY!  Can I record a TikTok while I perform Tik Tok during my set?!”

“NO KESHA!”  He shouted back from the stage.

“Way to ruin my dreams.”  She said sulking back into her seat.  “It’s my creative expression, I should be able to do whatever I want.”  Kesha made a pouty face.  She went back to trying to pretend to touch Selena’s hair with her toes.

“Taylor, I know it needs to be perfect, but he’s stressing out so much.  KESHA!  Stop, that’s soo gross.”  She turned around and stuck her tongue out at Kesha.  Kesha laughed then let up and moved her feet away.  “Ugh…  Poor guy.  He practically runs this whole thing.” Selena sighed. “I mean yes, there’s a ton of other people behind the scenes, but it all falls on his shoulders.”

“EVERYONE!!! WE GO LIVE IN…” He looked at his watch, “FIVE hours.  It’s NOON!  The show starts at EIGHT Eastern Standard Time, which means we pull the curtain at FIVE O’CLOCK PACIFIC TIME!”

“We know Jeffery.  Just chill out man.  Jeffy you’re gonna get your pants in a Jeffy jiffy twisty.”  Ozzy yelled in his Ozzy Osbourne voice from his seat as he turned and high fived Post Malone.

“Right on.”  Post laughed, and then sipped his beer.  “Just take it as it comes and carry on.”  He toasted to the stage with his bottle of beer and then clinked glasses with Ozzy.

“Post!  It’s only noon.  How are you already drinking?”  Lizzo said looking over two seats.  “Also, did they open the bar yet or what?  This girl gotta get her drink on too.”

“Nah, B-Y-O-B, they won’t serve until after the red carpet…  You want one?”  He opened a cooler with a six-pack of beer.

“Ummm, I’ll wait.”

“Suit yourself.”  He reached in and cracked open two more handing one to Ozzy.

“Ozzy!  It’s only noon!” Sharon said slapping Ozzy on the hand.

“Sharon… Chill out…  It’s non-alcoholic.”

“Oh, well in that case, give me one.”

“Sure thing Sharon…” Post Malone smiled and cracked open another beer handing it to Sharon Osbourne.  He pulled out a bag of Trader Joe’s chips and passed the bag around for everyone to take a handful.  Life is funny like that, one day you’re eating chips on your own solo, the whole bag to yourself—maybe with some dip, or salsa, or guacamole even, and maybe not—then suddenly the next thing you know, it’s a Post Malone party, you’re sharing the bag of chips together with Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne, and Lizzo.

Taylor turned back from Taylurking the conversation happening several seats away from her between Post Malone, Lizzo, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne.  Just wait until you try my Fizzy Lifting Lover drinks she thought to herself.  

“At least Scooter won’t be here.”  Sara said to Taylor in a low voice, leaning over in her seat.

“I know.  But, I kind of wanted to roast him in front of everyone, watch him squirm a little.  That would have been sooooo amazing!”

“Taylor, no.  We talked about this.  You need to wait until the time is right.  We need to…” She quieted down and looked around.  “Well you know.”

“Sara, I know.  Okay?”  Taylor whispered back.

“Hey Taaaaaay…” Shawn Mendes walked by Taylor and smiled over his shoulder.

Taylor awkwardly covered her mouth, hiding a smile waiting for it to subside, when it finally did, she waved back.

“What was that?”  Sara asked noticing Taylor blushing ever so slightly.

“What was what?”

“Umm, between you and Shawn.”  Sara pointed over at Shawn now standing beside Camila Cabello.

“Nothing.  What?”

“Taylor—Is there something between the two of you?  Because if there is, as your attorney, I NEED TO KNOW!  YOU NEED TO TELL ME EVERYTHING!”  Sara raised her voice—she was almost shouting.  Billie Eilish looked up from her phone raising an eyebrow in Taylor and Sara’s direction, then turned her attention back to her phone.

“Whoa, Sara…” Taylor lowered her head sinking into her seat, “You’re making scene.”

“Sorry, I… I don’t know what came over me.”  Sara’s voice returned to her normal calm and collected tone.

“It’s okay… It’s… It’s alright.”  Taylor pushed her self slightly away from Sara in the seat; she’d never seen Sara act like that before.  Almost like Sara was a different person for just a moment.  Taylor reached down to check on the masters case and make sure it was still seated next to her, unable to make contact she looked down and noticed Sara had pulled it closer—Taylor pulled it back.

“I just need to know things, okay?”  Sara said to Taylor, making direct eye contact.  Taylor looked back up at Sara.  “To… protect you.  That’s all.  And to advise you properly…. I care about you okay?  I’m not just your lawyer, I’m a loyal Swiftie, and I’m your biggest fan.”

Taylor’s eyes drifted away from Sara and back to Shawn again.  “Riiiiight.  Okay Sara, yeah, sounds good.” She said distracted, ogling Shawn Mendes.  She felt that same dang crooked smile forming on her face.  What was that?  Why could she not help but smile every time she looked at him, SHE almost felt like a different person—She needed a distraction.  Taylor pulled out her phone and texted Joe.

Hey you…  Just wanted to say I was thinking of you!  Inset 50 heart emojis.

She clicked send.

There was a sudden commotion from one of the entranceways to the theater, “Billy Porter is in the house!”  Someone yelled.

“Oh my God Billy is here!  Sara, hold my phone.”  Taylor got up from her seat and ran over to hug him.

Sara looked at the phone in her hand; the screen was unlocked… She began to tap through a few of Taylor’s apps, her social media accounts folder named ‘My Loves’, which included the Tumblr app, Twitter, Instagram, and various other ways to connect with Taylor’s fan base, her Swifties—The pulse of the Swifties’ synchronized heartbeats in one tiny little device, she felt a wave of power rush over her, one Tumblr post, one Tweet, an Instagram photo, all of it connected to millions of Swifties, around the world, an army ready to act on Taylor’s behalf at moment’s notice.

As Taylor returned to her seat, Sara placed the phone back on her lap pretending to have never looked at it, she handed the phone back to Taylor with a reassuring smile.

“HELLO!!!  ARE WE GOING TO DO A SHOW OR NOT?  You still have to go home, freshen up, red carpet, photos, AND WE HAVE NOT EVEN STARTED THE DRESS REHERSAL… Am I the only one who cares about this?”

“Jeff, they care, okay?  It’s just that we’ve run through it 73 times.  The show is already good.”

“Good is no good, you should know that CAROL!”

Carol rolled her eyes.

“Okay everyone, everyone, let’s take it from top!  Places… PLACES!!!!”  He paused.  “Oh, Taylor, I have a note here that you had a change request to add a backing track during your performance of Lover?”

“Yes, that’s right.”  She yelled back to the stage gleefully.

“Okay, well, make sure you get that track to the sound team as soon as we finish rehearsal!”

“Oh, I will.”  Taylor’s eyes flashed Teen Wolf RED for the second time today.

@taylorswift

[apparitionism]

Mercury 12

Because I have the affinity I have, the only Warehouse 13 revival scenario I’d ever be interested in would be one involving Joanne Kelly and Jaime Murray sharing copious amounts of screen time. However: there’s a remake scenario discussed in this part that I might indeed pay cash money to see... anyway, Tumblr’s being weird again, so please be so kind as to visit my actual tumblr if you have an interest in the other parts of this little tale. Which I would also pay cash money to see.

Mercury 12

Having to go to the museum—having to do their actual jobs—was for Myka an anticlimax, post-pie. (She was trying very hard not to think about the implications of that.) She’d expected Pete to see it as a letdown, too, after the car massacre, because while the Sable hadn’t won, it was one of the last few vehicles managing to propel itself at the others, tires askew and engine asmoke. Myka had taken his continued investment in the proceedings as her opportunity to filch the remainder of his serving of pie. Helena had already handed hers over, wordlessly and unprompted. Myka hadn’t even had to look longingly at it. Okay, maybe once, but that was all it took.

But Pete clearly had not found the derby to be the pinnacle of the day’s excitement, and in the front seat of the rental, riding shotgun next to Myka as she followed Ida to the museum, he was extra-fidgety with anticipation at being in the sled-prop’s presence. The closer they got, the more his eagerness ratcheted up, which made Myka ask, “Do you think it’s affecting you?”

That got her the “duh” head-shake. “Well yeah. It’s Rosebud.”

“In a Warehouse-y way,” she clarified.

Pete squinched his face, the relaxed it. “Pretty sure I’d feel the same about something like... Peter Weller’s Robocop suit. Or Eastwood’s gun from Fistful of Dollars. You know, real movie stuff. I bet I’d pass out if I saw E.T. in person.”

Twilight was turning to real dark as they pulled into the deserted museum parking lot, right behind Ida, and the night hid them completely as Helena picked the lock on the “staff only” door—matter-of-factly, with a mutter of “why did they bother.” Then Ida led them past exhibits that purported to tell “The Wisconsin Story”—the whole story, starting with the deep geological past, and giving pride of place to what had been unearthed from that deep geological past: two looming fossil mammoths, which Pete was fortunately too Rosebud-focused to register, for their size was giving even Myka the shivers. They were impressively tusked, but with comparatively delicate ribs, too-long legs, and strangely structured foot-bones that gave them the improbable look of walking on dainty tiptoe.

Myka had not expected mammoths. Again, an educational trip.

The Wisconsin story stopped, apparently, with Orson Welles, for the gallery was designed to culminate in that exhibit. Their approach of the sled was uneventful, aside from Pete’s actual hyperventilating; if Rosebud did this to him, there was no way he would have survived E.T., much less stayed conscious. Myka made him breathe into a static bag—she appreciated that Helena managed not to laugh too much at the sight—and when he finally calmed down, he declared, “I refuse to steal it. Because we’ve got the mic, so who cares? What’s Rosebud gonna do all by itself?”

“I don’t think Artie’s going to find that a convincing argument,” Myka said.

“Who cares about that either? Spielberg outranks Artie. And the Regents.”

Myka looked at Helena. Helena shrugged a “your call, not mine” at her. So Myka shrugged back at her a “whatever,” because what was Artie going to do about it anyway? Get in a fistfight with Steven Spielberg? Pete would be thrilled at the very idea. He’d sell tickets. Sell tickets, then probably pass out when Spielberg showed up.

He was still talking: “So I’m not messing with his stuff other than to neutralize it real quick and put it back. Then we bounce.”

“Don’t say ‘bounce,’” Myka told him. “You sound ridiculous.”

“Claudia says bounce,” he said, with a little whine in his voice.

“You’re almost twice her age.” Though the evidence for that was limited...

Helena joined in with, “I’m nearly six times her age. What am I permitted to say?”

“What I wish we’d all say—and do—is ‘depart with our dignity intact,’” Myka said.

Helena pointed out, “As Pete and also Claudia enjoy reminding us, with regard to many things: ‘that ship has sailed.’”

She was right, but Myka scowled. “I don’t like you.”

“Be that as it may,” Helena said, offering one of her most saintly smiles, “but somewhat pursuant to the dignity point, you seem to be far more invested in key lime pie than I imagined possible.”

“And demo derbies!” Pete added.

“Leave me and my dignity—”

“Or lack thereof?” Helena asked, still saintly.

“—alone,” Myka finished. With as much aggrieved resignation as she could muster.

Ida, who’d been standing back from it all, particularly Pete’s hyperventilation, now said to Myka, “You did seem to enjoy both of those. Couldn’t that be good? Given your clear devotion to duty, it all speaks to your being a very complex leading lady.”

Myka opened her mouth to say “thank you,” but Pete preempted her with, “Less complex than you’d think. Myka World’s a pretty stripped-down place. No concession stands. Seat belts and helmets for all the rides, which there aren’t even a lot of anyhow, because they cost too much to insure, plus you gotta bring carnies in to run ’em, and I don’t think Myka trusts the carnies.”

“Also,” Myka noted, “I’m not an amusement park.” One beat. Two. She thought she might actually get away with—

“I beg to differ,” Helena said, and Myka sighed, in response to which, Helena placed a hand on Myka’s back, then rollercoastered that hand up and over Myka’s shoulder. In response to that, Myka frowned at Helena, to forestall any thoughts she might have had of continuing the journey somewhere inappropriate, and Helena brought the hand-car to an obvious, abrupt stop.

And in response to that, Ida laughed at them, and that made Myka chuckle too.

As Pete prepared to neutralize the sled, Helena offered to hold the microphone for him. Myka thought she was being ostentatious about needing something to do with her thwarted hand, but as soon as she had it, she began apologizing to it for having to take away its fun. “You liked being believed,” she murmured. “I understand. But we’re conveying you to a place where our very sensitive colleagues will locate you perfectly. You’ll feel quite at home. And one day we’ll steal your sledge friend and reunite the two of you, so—”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Pete warned.

“I might do it tomorrow morning before our flight leaves. I’m not afraid of filmmakers. Those Lumière brothers were utterly unintimidating. Perhaps this Spielberg is outsize, which would account for your trepidation?”

Pete didn’t object; instead, he nodded. “Way outsize, Hollywood-power-wise. Lotsa people quaking in their boots, I bet. And as for quaking in your boots, I also bet that if I went back in time to 1896, I’d see you diving under your chair to get away from the train headed for the camera courtesy of those Lumière brothers.”

Helena said, with what Myka hoped was mock venom, “If you went back in time to 1896, you would clearly dive under your chair—what with trains being as large as they are, and seemingly emerging from an outsize screen to flatten your comparatively undersized innocent spectating self.”

“Oh yeah? Well at least I’d know what a movie was.”

“Do not condescend to me!”

You love both of these five-year-olds, Myka reminded herself. Out loud, she said, “If we could maybe stick to the business at hand?”

“At hand!” Pete enthused. “Orson Welles touched this with his hand and so did Spielberg and now I’m about to too! We’re practically related now!”

“Why are you never this interested in actual history?” Helena groused.

“Oh, you mean antiques like you?” Pete retorted as he slid the sled into an extra-large static bag.

Five-year-olds, both of whom you love, Myka reminded herself again, but it didn’t matter anymore, because at that moment, Ida and everyone else got what anybody anywhere would have called a show, as a garish display of neutralization fireworks pinwheeled and rocketed outward from the bag, Roman-candling as if the sled had brought all of its show-business knowhow to bear on the situation and planned its execution of this moment.

Then: “Oh my god,” Myka said, because—

“I agree!” Ida rhapsodized.

But Myka wasn’t appreciating the pyrotechnics. No, she was realizing, viscerally, that she’d recently eaten the greater part of an insanely oversugared pie. Which was not nutritious at all. Which was in fact more sugar than she’d eaten at one sitting in... decades. Literally. She had to instruct her digestive system—her entire nervous system—not to panic. Not to rebel. “Oh my god,” she repeated. “Why did I eat that? I feel sick.”

“Interesting,” Helena said yet again.

“Please stop saying that. I don’t want to be interesting when you say it like that.”

“No, you don’t,” Helena affirmed, and Myka could make no sense of that at all.

Ida sighed. “Oh, but the rabbits. I didn’t expect this... disappointment.”

“Thought you’d sussed that out already,” Pete said. “What with no cleanup on aisle three.”

“I knew they couldn’t have been real. But apparently I still believed in them.”

Helena exhaled, audibly, before saying, “Belief does make its home in a stubborn part of the brain.”

“That doesn’t sound very science-y,” Pete said.

“It’s far older than science,” Helena told him.

“Just like you,” he jabbed, but it was halfhearted. “Yeah, okay. But just as well you didn’t, then, with the girlfriend. Think how much worse she’d feel right this minute.”

“What are a few hours of reprieve worth?” Helena asked.

Was that rhetorical? Myka answered anyway: “Less than nothing, if you don’t know they’re a reprieve while you’re in them.”

Helena’s gaze might have been about to harden into a glare, but Ida said, “Reprieves are usually short. So is life. Or it’s long, but it’s always, always more precious than we pretend. Isn’t it, H.G. Wells?”

Helena blinked—unaccompanied by a head-tilt, so not her I’m quite surprised blink, but a cousin. “You are observant,” she said.

“I don’t need a job,” Ida said. She looked at Myka, who muttered, “Retirement someday for everybody.”

Helena blinked again; again, it was a surprise-cousin. “Then I won’t offer you one. Will you accept thanks?”

“I will. And I’ll thank you back: it’s certainly held my interest, this show. With all its charming leads.”

Pete said, “You’re still my favorite. Even though I know Bering and Wells are your favorites.”

“Let me know when you get a love interest,” Ida advised. “Then we’ll see.”

He didn’t look at Helena, not even a glance; Myka was watching. “Will do,” he said. Of course his Helena-complicated past wasn’t fixed, just like Myka and Helena’s complicated-by-everything past wasn’t. None of that would ever be fixed. But it was better—it could be better—and Myka could see the difference, the better, there in his not-glance.

She said to Ida, “Thank you. For it all. Can you tell Mr. Leland a good story about where the microphone disappeared to? Make him believe it?”

“All he’ll care about is that Ginny’s pie won. What I really need to do is figure out what to tell Agnes. She’ll be so disappointed... not to mention confused.”

“Why wasn’t she there today, anyhow, ready to get crowned queen of the pies?” Pete asked.

“The rabbits gave her such a fright.”

“Tell her they ate her pie.”

Ida frowned at him. “First, won’t she have stopped believing in them? And second, rabbits don’t like citrus.”

“Ha!” Pete crowed. “Then they probably wouldn’t like preserves or conserves, would they!”

That got him a teacherly approving nod from Ida. “Very good. You can come back next year and be my assistant.”

“Look out,” Myka said. “He’ll take you up on it.”

“That would be fine,” said Ida. “In fact if you all wanted to come and do another episode next year, it would be fine. I could look forward to it. Like one of those reunion TV-movies.”

“These days they’d just remake the show, recast all the parts,” Pete told her.

She patted his shoulder. “I doubt even Meryl Streep could do justice to your appreciation for Rosebud.”

“The One Where They Go to the Fair! Starring Meryl Streep as Pete Lattimer!” he said, clearly delighted by the idea. “I mean, it’d take a Streep to really get a handle on the fullness of me.”

“Good luck, Meryl,” said Myka.

Helena said, “The Fullness of Pete Lattimer, A Play in Three Acts: Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner.”

“With snack entr’actes, right?” Myka asked.

Helena nodded, adding, “Plus midnight-snack envoi. Although that doesn’t really apply to a play, does it?”

Pete waved whoa-stop hands at her. “If it’s a snack, it better be part of that play. It’s a good scene for the TV-movie, though: Meryl, chowing down on S’mores Pop-Tarts in some night kitchen in South Dakota, remembering how sad she was when she said this line coming up right now.” He gathered himself theatrically, then gazed with mournful eyes at the sled. “Bye, Rosebud. You got mojo.” To Ida, he said, “I’m pretty sure you do too. We really could put in a word about a job.”

“Happily retired,” Ida said.

“Just as well. I’ve said it before, people doing what we do, they end up crazy, evil, or dead.”

“Is that an effective recruiting slogan?”

“Only if you’re Ms. Trifecta here,” Pete said, tilting his head at Helena. “She heard that and was all, ‘Sign me up!’”

“Quit it,” Myka told him, but milder than she might have said it, even two days ago. She took Helena’s hand again, though, to make sure she knew Myka meant it, no matter how mild. Helena rewarded her with an even more bone-cutting clasp than usual.

“Sane, good, and alive, that’s what you all seem to be right now,” Ida said. “Please keep it that way.”

They all hugged her goodbye. “I’m not a hugger,” she protested before each hug—but before each one, she again wore that wide smile.

“I’m not either,” Myka told her.

“I am!” exclaimed Pete, accurately.

“But human contact,” Helena said, like an apology, though Myka heard in it the echo of deprivation. And that was accurate too.

Ida seemed to agree, for she held onto Helena a second longer than she had Myka or Pete. “I told you I’m not a science fiction fan, and that’s true. But I liked Ann Veronica very much,” she said. “Particularly the ending.”

“Nobody got the flu,” Myka agreed.

“That was...” Helena cleared her throat. “Someone else’s work. Entirely.”

Ida said, “Someone else believed in happy endings. Entirely?”

“I suppose he did. I remember that. I remember arguing about sentimentality.”

“It’s important to remember what you do remember. What you said about that radio interview... I don’t have a recording of my late husband’s voice. I’ve thought about that more than I expected to.”

Helena’s voice, Myka thought, I didn’t—still don’t—have it anywhere but in my head. It was a new thought, one that chilled her. If Pete had smashed the coin, then Emily Lake’s voice forever. It made her want to record Helena’s voice right that minute: Helena saying “good morning,” Helena reading aloud the placard in front of the Welles exhibit, Helena reciting “The Owl and the Pussycat”... anything at all. She suspected Ida would have said the same thing about her husband’s voice, given the opportunity, and as for what that suggested about how all-in she herself was with Helena? It shouldn’t have come as any surprise, and it didn’t. But the force of it did.

Helena hugged Ida once more, and this time, she was the one who clung an extra second. “Happy endings,” Myka heard Ida say: her closing argument. Helena nodded against her shoulder.

Yes, in more ways than Myka would have thought possible: a very educational trip.

TBC

Note about the real world: as far as I can determine, if there actually were, or actually had been, a Welles exhibit at the museum in question, it would probably be, or have been, on the second floor, but I wanted to get the mammoths in there, so I let everybody stay on the first floor. Mammoth fossils are honestly bonkers to look at; the tusks are unbelievably large compared to the rest of the body (I know they had a lot of flesh and particularly fur, hence “woolly,” but still). And the feet! They’re fossilized comedy routines.

Also I suppose I should apologize, or something, for stringing this thing out with shorter parts rather than ending it with a longer, solid punch of denouement, but this is how the writing has proceeded, and one pleasant aspect of this write-for-free-on-the-internet hobby is that the work can find the form it seems to prefer. Within reason.

[your-dietician]

Well Intentioned: Seth Rogen Talks Handmade by Seth, Balancing Hollywood With Hobbies, and Why for Him, Weed Is Wellness

New Post has been published on https://medianwire.com/well-intentioned-seth-rogen-talks-handmade-by-seth-balancing-hollywood-with-hobbies-and-why-for-him-weed-is-wellness/

Well Intentioned: Seth Rogen Talks Handmade by Seth, Balancing Hollywood With Hobbies, and Why for Him, Weed Is Wellness

From mantras to meditation, mindfulness to manifestation, Well Intentioned offers an intimate look at how to make space for self-care in meaningful ways, big and small.

Seth Rogen is very blonde at the moment. “It’s for a TV show,” he reveals over Zoom from his home in Los Angeles, running his hand over a short crop with visible dark roots. “On the show, I play a guy having a midlife crisis, so, sure,” Rogen laughs, spinning a just-rolled joint through his fingers. At 40, the actor, director, writer and producer is approaching middle-age himself, but there doesn’t seem to be any imminent crises on the horizon; if anything, Rogen appears to be thriving. In addition to a number of forthcoming acting projects, including Steven Spielberg’s TIFF-favorite, The Fabelmans—for which the Freaks and Geeks alum is receiving early praise— Rogen became a brand founder last year with the launch of Houseplant, a curated collection of cannabis and cannabis-adjacent homewares and accessories, which has also provided a platform for his ceramics passion heard ’round the Internet.

“My journey with pottery and with Houseplant were kind of parallel in a very nice way,” Rogen explains of how the search for nice ashtrays for his own home led to a realization: “It seemed like no one had made a new one in the last 30 years.” As he became more serious about pottery, a pastime his wife, Lauren Miller Rogen, put him onto, Rogen started experimenting with ashtray designs and then rolling trays, many of the prototypes of which have become some of Houseplant’s bestsellers. “I couldn’t be happier because the brand was truly born out of what I was already doing.” During the pandemic, a home studio allowed Rogen to hone his throwing and molding skills even further. “Having my own kiln is like a real revelatory thing in terms of learning and experimenting,” he explains of the design freedom that has led to advancements like his “gloopy” glaze technique, which recently beget one of Houseplant’s newest ashtrays (as well as an unexpected viral manicure moment). It has also allowed him to start stockpiling his own work.

“I have a closet full of shit,” Rogen reveals, and while he has spent the last few years gifting these pieces to friends or donating them to charity auctions, he has decided to give the Seth stans what they want: Today, Rogen is dropping Handmade by Seth, four original vases that will be given away to four lucky winners via a raffle on houseplant.com. “I have no desire to hoard these things for myself,” Rogen says of the colorful pieces named for characters from Point Break and Demolition Man (the smallest of the bunch, “Johnny Utah” is a sweet 3” x 2.5” vessel with plenty of versatility). Adds Rogen, “This just seemed like a fun way to get them into people’s hands.” Here, the multi-hyphenate talks about his creative process, vintage-hunting in Palm Springs, and why for him, weed is wellness.

1. Keep Your Brain Busy

I’ve always had a lot of hobbies. Like, I’ve always looked for new creative outlets. I’m someone who had to acknowledge that I do like hanging out and doing nothing and watching television and movies and shit, but I also really like having creative things to engage me. And I like having a lot of different things to engage me when I’m working in the film or television world. I actually enjoy working on a ton of different things at once—it’s helpful to bounce around. I was very into photography for a long time— I think every actor kind of goes through that at some point or another; then I was very into gardening and I started making my own bonsais; I painted for a little while. I always wanted to create tactile art, but really was not that good at it. I am not a good painter, like in a traditional, figurative sense, you know what I mean? It’s like when you’re in art class, you can quickly see the kids who are good and the kids who aren’t, and I was like, not. But my wife had done pottery in high school and every once in a while she would join a studio, and she would be like, “We should go take a class together. I think you would like it.” Then we did, and I loved it and that was really it. We were off to the races. It’s become something that’s really great that we can do together.

2. Make Pottery

Almost all ceramics have some hand-touch to them. They are organic—made of dirt and covered in sand that is heated to turn into glass, essentially. I mean, there’s other things in there, but that’s the core of it. It’s something that’s been around for tens of thousands of years, which is very comforting— and also very singular, which my other jobs are the complete opposite of. I love making movies and television shows, but with that stuff you’ll have this creative thing in your head that you wanna express and you literally need, like, 250 people to do it. Otherwise, you just can’t do it. And that’s really hard! And by nature of that, it’s incredibly expensive, it’s insane and it’s complicated. So it’s nice to do something that is expressive and that seems to get a good response from people. And I can literally do it alone and I don’t need the finances of, like, a major media conglomerate to help execute my vision. The scale is much different as a result but there is something very nice about how simple it is.

Houseplant ashtray set by Seth in moss

3. Surround Yourself With Beautiful Things

I kind of fell into design and art through the comic book world and through a bunch of my friends who did graffiti in high school. So I would read, like, Juxtapose magazine and that kind of thing in the nineties and that became a weird backdoor route into high-end art and design in some ways, because a lot of those artists that I started to follow—Faile and Shepard Fairey, and Kaws—kind of then transitioned into that world. So I followed my interest through that and then when we made This Is the End, what was funny is that we built a house—like the whole thing was in this house, and me and my writing and directing partner, Evan [Goldberg] got really into the furniture, and the furniture design, and the fixtures, and the lighting and the materials, and all of a sudden, that was kind of the first time I unabashedly gave myself permission to really like this stuff in a lot of ways. That movie really was actually the thing that led me to indulge in it. But I’ve always collected stuff. I think it’s probably a Jewish trauma that I’ve inherited. We probably have the instinct to keep as many things as possible, because…you never know! So, when I like a thing, it is my instinct to get as much of it as I can. Collecting comic books kind of transitioned to these Japanese vinyl toys, and then I was trying to get nice ashtrays for my own home and I started going online and buying vintage ashtrays. Smoking cigarettes has gone out of fashion, but when something is popular, it draws creative minds, and in the ’60s and ’50s and before that, all of these great creative minds and architects and designers were designing ashtrays. That’s definitely one of the thought processes that inspired what we are doing with Houseplant. I’m not above any second-hand ashtray reseller. I’ve gone to all of them online and I physically go to vintage and antique stores. I’ve found some great ones in Palm Springs. I think I have over 600 now.

Juxtapoz Magazine 1996 Vol. 2 #3

Super7 Japanese vinyl Mummy Boy

Just Vintage La Solana ashtray

4. Smoke Weed

Smoking weed is so culturally acceptable now, thank God, in most of the country, not enough of it, but most of it. I’m from Vancouver where it’s very, very acceptable. Everyone smoked weed when I was growing up and I’ve been smoking since I was 13 years old, which is not necessarily something I recommend! [Laughs.] But it’s been well documented for me. Now, I just smoke weed all day, every day and I love it. And thank God it’s out there because it seems to be what I need. I know weed works for me. You’ll have a very hard time getting me to go somewhere I can’t smoke weed at this point in my life because it doesn’t seem reasonable to me [laughs]. I’ve equated it to, like, wearing glasses or shoes. It is just a thing I do to make my journey through the day more navigable. Could I go through my day without glasses or shoes? Yeah. Would it be much worse? For sure. That’s really how I view it.

5. Keep Family Close

My wife is incredibly influential on any creative thing I’m ever doing because I just talk to her about all of it, all the time, and she has great taste and opinions. I would actually like to find a way to maybe convince her to let [Houseplant] make a version of these really cool vases she does! There are some things we’ve kind of made together where it’s like, she threw it and I trimmed it or something like that, or I glazed it and she designed it. But we haven’t done anything “official” together. We talk about it, though, and we should do it. We’re open to a collab, sure. We work well together—and with our dog. She’s a Cavalier King Charles spaniel and she just turned 13 the other day. She’s so grumpy and slow now, but it’s wonderful. We actually molded a lighter off of her. She’s a real inspiration to all of us. [Laughs.]

Houseplant Zelda lighter caddy

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[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #242 - Paul (2011)

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) The prologue for this movie is particularly strong. For one thing, the name of the dog, “Paul,” stands out. It’s hard to watch this movie without knowing the title. And it shows that the film isn’t just making fun of sci-fi but playing in the genre. There’s a nice sense of atmosphere to the short prologue and it poses many interesting questions. Namely: what the hell just crashed on earth?

2) I appreciate how earnest Simon Pegg and Nick Frost come across as nerds in the movie. So often people who are enthusiastic about pop culture are portrayed as the joke, their existence is a joke. But with Graeme and Clive yes they can be funny but the joke isn’t the simple idea of, “Look at how funny the nerds are!”

3) Another line of humor I appreciate in the film is that while Graeme and Clive are often mistaken to be a couple, they’re never really uncomfortable with people thinking they’re gay unless they are in a situation with some homophobic assholes. And in that case the discomfort isn’t the threat to their masculinity but the threat to their safety. It’s a nice distinction from how these types of storylines typically go.

4) Look, do I even need to talk about the on screen chemistry between Simon Pegg and Nick Frost? They have proved it countless times across film and television. They’re a legendary on screen duo. Abbott & Costello, Fred & Ginger, Gene Wilder & Richard Pryor, now Simon Pegg & Nick Frost. They’re great together always, even when the films may be a little less than stellar they are not. And Paul is no exception. Their chemistry is on point, they’re as strong alone as they are together, it just works. We spend enough time with their characters before Paul shows up that we clearly understand the relationship, something which is not only the result of strong writing but strong acting as well.

5) The waitress played by Jane Lynch is wonderfully supportive of the duo’s nerdy nature. She doesn’t make fun of them for their interests, she doesn’t see it as odd. She encourages it! And even when the two jackasses show up she’s supportive and only suggests they leave because she knows the bearded truckers could start trouble. I really like that.

6) Seth Rogen as Paul.

Being the titular character of a movie carries a to of weight with it. You have to be the most memorable part of the movie. Think of Beetlejuice, for example. That’s a lot to live up to. Our intro to Paul shows off much of his character and his down to earth nature (no pun intended). We get introduced to his crude and profane language, his sense of humor, and even a little bit of his heart. It is the latter of these things which helps make Paul a character and not just a gag. You understand his intentions, what he wants, what motivates him, and you can relate. It’s a bit of E.T., actually. He just wants to go home. We get to especially see this when interacting with Blythe Danner’s character later in the film, how vulnerable he allows himself to be and how he grows to care about the safety of others.

Seth Rogen nails it as the character. Rogen is no stranger to voice over work and sometimes I honestly forget I’m listening to him. This isn’t because he does anything particularly tricky to disguise his voice, but just because it fits all the above mentioned characteristics of the alien so well. It just works and I think the film is better for Rogen’s casting.

7) Jason Bateman as Agent Zoyle is a fun addition to the movie. Bateman plays the character as reserved and intensely focused, a straight man to some of his more chaotic counterparts. That’s where most of the humor comes from and Bateman’s precision with the role only benefits it.

8) Joe Lo Truglio and Bill Hader have a fun chemistry in this film and add a nice amount of life to the movie. They have fun with their characters and each other making it all the more fun to watch.

9) This film is just dripping with references to great sci-fi films, some subtle and some not so subtle.

Paul [asking for food at a gas station]: “Hey! Reese’s Pieces!”

10) Chekov’s dead bird.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

Paul showcasing his ability to heal things, even partially, sets up an important alien power of his that also leads to a great gag with his little snack.

11) The film does well with giving each character their own personality and arc. Bill Hader’s character specifically gets a well written storyline of drive and upward mobility. Not everyone would think to give him that storyline.

12) I like Paul’s planet.

Paul: “Everyone’s bi on my planet.”

13) I’m a sucker for these kinds of jokes. Specifically, how Paul was SUCH an influence on pop culture. That the stereotypical alien look came from his face so people wouldn’t freak out so much when they saw him, that he talked to Steven Spielberg (who does a voice over cameo as himself) about E.T., or that, “Agent Mulder was my idea!” I dig it.

14) Kristen Wiig as Ruth.

Wiig is charming and sweet in her portrayal of Ruth. She’s a nice addition to the film and is able to hold her own against the chemistry between Pegg and Frost. She doesn’t feel out of place or tacked on, even getting a really great arc of her own (scientific?) awakening. I appreciate that.

15) On a more personal note, I disagree with the idea that there has to be this complete divide between religion and science as the film largely presents it. You’re either one or the other which to me doesn’t make a ton of sense. Not to get too into my own personal beliefs but I believe in the idea of a creator behind the universe but that doesn’t undermine things like evolution or the big bang or anything else. But I think I’m getting off track.

16) There are some surprisingly strong action scenes in the movie. Often comedy that fall into a subgenre like sci-fi or fantasy rely heavily more on the comedy then set pieces. There’s nothing wrong with that if pulled off well, I just always forget that Paul has a number of well paced chase and action sequences too.

17) I like that the film takes time to develop the relationships with Clive and Paul as well as Graeme and Ruth. They fell organic, natural, and they’re not static either they grow and change. I like it.

18) It took me a while to understand this joke because I didn’t know what Mac & Me was.

Clive: Ever since I saw Mac and Me, I've dreamed about meeting you!

For those who don’t know, Mac and Me is basically an ET rip-off that is often listed as one of the worst films ever made that some see more as a commercial for McDonald’s and Coca Cola than a film.

Also that thing is creepy as hell.

19) Ruth trying out profanity throughout the course of the movie is fun to watch and actually, now that I think about it, mirrors my own attempts with cursing as a kid.

20) At its core, Paul is a fun road trip movie. It’s about going somewhere but it’s also about the journey. The trouble you face on the road and the friends you have to see you through it. It just also involves aliens and the government.

21) The country bar version of “Cantina Band” is nice.

22) I think the bar scene works because it’s basically the eye of the shitstorm. Everything the group has been running from - the truckers, Ruth’s dad, the government - all converges upon them at the same time. It makes for a fun and ripe conflict that’s interesting to see the characters deal with.

23) Is this some sort of crack about Bob Dylan’s current music not “measuring up” to his early stuff or whatever?

Paul [about his drugs]: It's pretty strong shit. I get it from the military. I think this is the stuff that killed Dylan. Graeme: Bob Dylan’s not dead. Paul: Isn’t he?

24) Random Keith Nash is random but nice.

25) Blythe Danner as Tara is a nice late addition to the film. Danner puts a lot of heart and soul into what is essentially a tragic character. A space alien landed on her dog, was taken away by the government, and she was dubbed a freak by society only for telling the truth, something which required years of therapy. But Tara’s no push over. Danner is able to make her strong, tough, and pretty funny when the opportunity arises.

26) The whole scene where the group has to escape the feds at the farm is the film’s best action sequence. It is incredibly well choreographed, tightly paced, and there is a wonderful escalation of insanity and action as the scene progresses. I really like it.

27) This film is Wilhelm Scream certified.

28) The movie is basically a big love letter to sci-fi movies created by the likes of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas. The previous mention of Reese’s Pieces, the fact that the mountain from Close Encounters of the Third Kind is where Paul goes to phone home, and the line from Jason Bateman, “Boring conversation anyway,” mirroring Harrison Ford’s line from the original Star Wars. It shows not only just how much those kinds of films meant to the filmmakers but also how important it is they express that love in cinema. I think honesty admiration always leads to great filmmaking.

29) Sigoruney Weaver’s role as The Big Guy is basically a glorified cameo but I love it. Her casting is pitch perfect. As soon as she actually shows up you know shit just got real. Why? Because it’s Sigourney Weaver! It’s Ellen Ripley for crying out love. She just commands the scene and the fact that the oft mentioned “big gun” from earlier in the film is literally just a big ass gun is great.

30) The twist that Zoyle is actually on Paul’s side totally surprised me the first time I saw the film but it adds a lot of rewatch value. It totally makes sense in a second viewing and helps deepen his character from more than just a standard gov antagonist.

31)

Zoyle: “Call me Lorenzo.” Clive & Graeme: “Lorenzo Zoyle?”

I did not understand this reference at all when I first saw the movie. I had to google it extensively. Apparently it’s a reference to the 1992 George Miller directed film Lorenzo’s Oil that’s a family drama about a sick kid and has nothing to do with sci-fi. So after I learned what the reference was I googled some more to figure out why it was a joke in the movie. Apparently it was Nick Frost’s idea.

“It’s just one of those things that I kind of like doing, that thing that you take one letter from the surname and add it to the forename and it becomes something completely different. It’s possible someone could be called Lorenzo Zoil.” (source)

32) Graeme’s “death” actually packed a punch with me watching this. You kind of figure he’ll survive, I mean we’ve seen Paul use his healing ability before, but still I think that it does pull at your heart strings speaks to how well the film does in making you care about these characters and their relationships.

33) THE SHIP FUCKING LANDS ON SIGOURNEY WEAVER AND THAT’S HOW SHE DIES! YES! I LOVE IT!

34) I really like the in-credits epilogue. Like, the ship taking off slowly is a good final gag and leads to the emotional finale of the film. But the in-credits epilogue ties up some loose narrative strings and feels a bit more finite than just everyone standing in the now empty field. I dig it.

Paul is a lot of fun. It’s not really the same level of genre comedy as the Cornetto Trilogy per say, but why even make that comparison? I only mention that because I heard someone at work saying this movie sucked because it wasn’t Hot Fuzz and I was like, “That’s your criteria?” It is a charming, earnest, fun, well acted, and enthusiastic comedy. It’s a good time with lots of great gags and character moments. I like it and hopefully you will too.

[f1]

Verstappen eases to sprint race win at Spielberg

Verstappen eases to sprint race win at Spielberg By Steven De Groote on 09 Jul 2022, 17:19 Today's sprint race was one with few surprises, resulting in another sprint race win for Max Verstappen. The Ferraris of Leclerc and Sainz completed the podium in a short race that saw the top 4 finish where they started. Sergio Perez made a comeback from 13th to end 5th. The sprint race is always a tense affair, and funnily Mika Hakkinen said beforehand he wouldn't have liked to have competed in such format, saying the start really isn't such a fun affair for the driver. Opinions may differ, but this time out, it certainly wasn't fun for Fernando Alonso has his car wasn't ready to get going when everybody left the grid, forcing the team to pull him into the pitlane. Then when Zhou was almost ready to take his place at the end of the formation lap his car just stopped in the middle of the track, forcing the race director to mandate another formation lap. Zhou did get going again but he then returned to the pits to start from the pitlane. Alonso on the other hand didn't get to start the sprint. So, after two formation laps things really got going. Verstappen went ultra defensive on the start, forcing Leclerc to back out and enabling Sainz to take second place until Turn 3 where Leclerc got the upper hand again. The fight among the two Ferraris was convenient for Verstappen as the Red Bull driver was out of DRS range by the time DRS was enabled after two laps. Further back Gasly moved left while preparing to brake for Turn 1, forgetting that he had two cars left of him. That launched him over the front wheel of Hamilton and into the run-off area. Both got away without damage, but Gasly of course dropped to the very back while Hamilton stayed on track and continued in 11th to start his was up through the field. Perez, starting from 13th, profited from the events and found himself in 8th after one lap. The Mexican went on to pass the closely matched Haas drivers as they were busy fighting each other and moved up into 5th place when passing Ocon on lap 11. In the early parts of the race, Sainz followed very closely to Leclerc and attempted an overtake in Turn 3 of lap 5, but with Leclerc on the inside, the latter chose to brake late and take the corner very wide, forcing his Spanish team mate to back out, much to his frustration. The issue was Sainz drop a second behind his teammate after which he had trouble coming back again. With positions at the front somewhat fixed it was Schumacher and Hamilton who drew the attention as they fought for 8th. Schumacher was able to defend for a long time thanks to getting DRS from Magnussen, but the first lap that Mick had none anymore, Hamilton breezed past to take the final point in this sprint. By then, Bottas was very close, but he didn't manage to get past, finishing in 10th. So, not much happened overall. The top 4 finished where they started, and some cars that were out of position managed to move up a bit towards their natural positions on the grid. Former Champions Vettel and Leclerc both retired with technical issues, so they'll be looking forward for another chance tomorrow. via F1Technical.net . Motorsport news https://www.f1technical.net/news/