#the song is dean coded either way

[gayangelcrimes]

A good thing about enjoying a band in another language that almost no one here knows is that I can consider making an art using this song's literal meaning and not worry about the allegedly homoerotic subtext of the song. A bad thing is that the idea most likely might attract freaks anyway

[theshippirate22]

I have a theory

listen up bitches (gender neutral) (affectionate) i’ve been cooking this for an incredibly long time and i’m very very excited to share it but it is gonna be long so i’m putting it under a cut

my theory is that there has been a new set of archetypes created by popular m/m media either in canon or coding and i would love if it was more widely recognized by a distinct name so here we go:

I present to you: The Mirrorball x Running Up That Hill Boyfriends™️ Theory

i need to preface this by saying that i am absolutely not an english major or expert but i have done so much analysis that i’m 98% positive i’m on to something here

so usually mlm ships- at least in my experience- get boiled down into typical Grumpy x Sunshine, Golden Retriever x Black Cat, or like. Babygirl x Badass. and i hate that because those are like really watered down hetero romance stereotypes and i think queer people deserve to get our own archetypes instead of trying to force queer characters into prepaid boxes but that’s a story for another day so:

basically, all content with widely accepted mlm ships (even if they are more in coding than in canon) has this pattern with the ship that fits into Mirrorball x Running Up That Hill

(name pending- open to suggestions)

Boyfriend No.1 of course is the epitome of Mirrorball by Taylor Swift (i know, i know. bear with me here). He’s constantly trying to prove himself and his worth and usually he’s driven to hide or overcome 1-3 specific and intense insecurities/character flaws. He often has innate loyalty to a system or person who has repeatedly abused/neglected/abandoned him and thinks that this treatment is a result of his own character rather than a reflection of the abuser. In relation to the plot and audience, this is the “more dangerous” of the two because he’s so desperate to hold onto the status quo that he’ll often act in a way that makes things more difficult for himself, often by leaving Boyfriend No. 2, sacrificing himself, or doing “the wrong thing.” He also commonly has an older male figure that is breathing down his neck constantly, haunting his perceived inadequacies, and fueling his self-loathing. He’s constantly mischaracterized because he’s either boiled down to “the silly one” or a visage of his trauma and the people that relate to love these characters are usually extremely sad people. Usually this character is also the “mean girl” of the couple.

Examples of the Mirrorball boyfriend: Dean Winchester, Aziraphale, Stede Bonnet, Lucius Spriggs, Sherlock Holmes, Eddie Munson, Mike Wheeler, Prince Rupert, etc.

Boyfriend No. 2 then, is the Running Up That Hill Boyfriend, based of course, on the song by the same name by the perfect Kate Bush. He’s the one that’s seen The Horrors™️ and gained a layer of cynicism that Mirrorball doesn’t have. He was once loyal to something that used/hurt him but he rejected it and used his newfound freedom to restructure his entire personality and reach his much higher potential. Usually, he has passed so far from having a few insecurities to perceiving himself as utterly worthless and unlovable but he’s so convinced that it doesn’t even haunt him, he just goes with it and usually comes off looking overly-confident or cocky. This is The Bitch (affectionate)™️. There’s probably a scene of him covered in blood. This is The Girls’ favorite blorbo and ultimate whump. He tends to be really good with kids and he’s the kind of character that would and often has to CLAW a life out for himself by his fingernails.

Examples of the Running Up That Hill Boyfriend: Castiel, Crowley, Ed Teach, Black Pete, John Watson, Steve Harrington, Will Byers, Prince Amir, etc.

unfortunately i haven’t seen a lot of popular queer stuff so if you can think of other mlm or mlm shaped characters that fit into these archetypes please please please tell me

i’m specifically curious about:

-Hannigram (Hannibal)

-Buddy (911) (@criminally-obsessed if you would mind weighing in but obviously no pressure)

-Lokius (Loki) (@henderdads same thing)

-Any of the marauders but specifically WolfStar

-Stucky (MCU)

-RWRB (i’m so sorry i don’t remember the guys’ names)

-Nick and Charlie (Heartstopper)

-What We Do In the Shadows has one I think?

-literally anyone else please and thank you 🙏🙏 love you all

if you want like explicit examples of each piece for a character lmk for sure because i could talk about this all day long

[scoobydoodean]

I too do not believe 5.16 actually makes Sam and Dean soulmates but it turns out to be for different reasons than some people. It has nothing to do with them not being in the same spot when they woke up or not sharing every single memory or walking the road to find each other. Ash has to do a little magic number on the door to get them into The Roadhouse and talks about cracking heaven’s code to find other people he knows, which suggests people can’t just generally follow a road and find people they’re looking for in heaven. It is generally a closed system where you don’t see other souls.

Sam and Dean not actually being soulmates has everything to do with the fact that the entire sequence in The Roadhouse where Sam and Dean are told they’re soulmates is fake. Zachariah popped up every direction Sam and Dean turned in the woods as if he was toying with them until they ran straight into Ash. This is despite us finding out two scenes later that Zachariah is completely out of patience and feels humiliated by the time it’s taken to “close the deal”. Zachariah was waiting for them when they exited The Roadhouse as if he knew where they were the entire time and where they’d emerge. Pam’s attempts to get Dean to say “Yes” are also way too convenient for Zachariah.

This “Sam and Dean are soulmates” angle comes right after 5.13-5.14 where Sam and Dean learn their parents were manipulated into being together. The manipulation of Dark Side of the Moon culminates in Zachariah using a fake Mary to sell Dean a lie that his entire family hates him and he is a burden forced upon them and everything bad that’s ever happened to their family is his fault. Even when he was four, his mother didn’t want him, and dying lead to escape from his Eternally Evil Four Year Old Demands™️ which was a relief.

Another major function of the episode is Zachariah trying to make Dean believe that Sam sees him as a burden by controlling what memories they see (when happy memories with Dean are literally what pull Sam out of possession in “Swan Song” and 5.16 itself ends with Sam and Dean seeing The Garden in the same way—as a garden they went to on a field trip together as children).

So the message Zachariah is selling is: Sam is your soulmate (he isn’t—they don’t exist) but in a haunted horrible way where it’s inexplicably your fault somehow that the two of you are together for eternity despite you literally doing nothing to try and make this happen. Sam doesn’t want this but somehow you’ve made it happen—except you didn’t make this happen and it has nothing to do with you. You don’t want this either. This circumstance only leaves you feeling more abandoned and alone and unloved and destined to be blamed for every single horrible thing that’s ever happened to your brother. The very touch of you corrupts.

[manygeese]

mega projecting rn, this is

PERCY JACKSON CHARACTERS AS SONGS FROM MY PLAYLIST

aka what I think they would do for karaoke, what’s they like, and what song is them coded

PERCY

What he’d do karaoke to: Beyond the Sea by Bobby Darin. Son of Poseidon thinks water songs are funny.

What song he’d like the most: either Angry Young Man or Allentown, both by Billy Joel. Hard hitting lyrics and instrumentals to match.

What song he has the vibes of: Kodachrome by Paul Simon. Silly, jaunty, but kind of soothing at the same time. Reminds you of your childhood, almost.

ANNABETH

What she’d do karaoke to: Stand by Me by Ben E. King. She’s a romantic lady, what can I say? She’d totally be winking at Percy when she sings the chorus.

What song she’d like the most: Arthur’s Theme (Best That You Can Do) by Christopher Cross. She has classical vibes and this is the closest thing to classical as I have on my playlist. Also, I feel like she’d love jazz and this is jazz-adjacent.

What song she has the vibes of: She’s Always A Woman by Billy Joel. Sentimental, cool, but still oozing with emotion.

JASON

What he’d do karaoke to: Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler. Boy puts on a performance.

What song he’d like the most: My Way by Frank Sinatra. He feels good about himself and all the stuff he’s been through while listening to it.

What song he has the vibes of: Out of Touch by Daryl Hall & John Oates. Edgy, cool, and a bop.

PIPER

What she’d do karaoke to: Lovefool by The Cardigans. Daughter of Aphrodite thinks love songs are funny. She’s a really good singer though, so she can choose any song and still knock everybody’s socks off.

What song she’d like the most: Yesterday by the Beatles. I think she’d like sad songs (not breakup songs, more like “wallowing in self pity, wondering what happened to us” songs).

What song she has the vibes of: Thank You For the Music by ABBA. Self worth problems, putting all your value in one ability? Piper coded.

LEO

What he’d do karaoke to: Let’s Hear It for the Boy by Deniece Williams or Thank God I’m A Country Boy by John Denver. The first because he’s some sort of LGBT+ and thinks it’s funny, the second because he’s Texan and thinks it’s funny. Also Fernando by ABBA.

What song he’d like the most: Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham! He identifies with it. Also he loves the dorky Just Dance for it.

What song he has the vibes of: Telephone Line by Electric Light Orchestra. Hopeless romantic vibes right there.

HAZEL

What she’d do karaoke to: Fly Me to the Moon by Frank Sinatra. She’d eat any jazz song up, really, but this one’s got her name written all over it.

What song she’d like the most: Bad, Bad Leroy Brown by Jim Croce. It’s got that school house rock vibe that you know she’d love. And also, bar fights! Yay!

What song she has the vibes of: Put Your Records On by Corinne Bailey Rae. Happy, sends a message, gives off sunny day and Hazel vibes.

FRANK

What he’d do karaoke to: Delilah by Tom Jones. He’s belting this shit in the shower at 3 AM.

What song he’d like the most: Oh, What A Beautiful Morning by Gordon Macrae from the musical Oklahoma. He’s embarrassed to admit it, but this boy loves old Roger’s and Hammerstein musicals (The Music Man, Carousel, etc.) that go on for too long and have unnecessary songs. He thinks they’re pretty.

What song he has the vibes of: Everybody Loves Somebody by Dean Martin. Gentle giant vibes.

NICO

What he’d do karaoke to: So Long, Mom (A Song for World War III) by Tom Lehrer. He’s a sucker for old satirical songs and loves watching his friends react as he sings them.

What song he’d like the most: The Vatican Rag by Tom Lehrer. Again, because he likes satirical songs. He cried laughing the first time he heard it, having grown up in the Catholic Church (of Italy, no less).

What song he has the vibes of: Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas. Stark contrast from the earlier songs but it’s just… so Nico coded. The type of stuff you can head bang but also perform ballet to.

REYNA

What she’d do karaoke to: We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel. She memorized the whole thing and likes flexing on everybody else about it because they don’t have the guts nor the dedication.

What song she’d like the most: Fame by Irene Cara. She unwinds to this in her room after a long day. She also totally does embarrassing dances to it.

What song she has the vibes of: Leningrad by Billy Joel. A song about war, seemingly endless cycles of violence, but small victories and reconciliation.

[morallygreyintrovert]

So I’m mentally planning my 10th million fic idea that will never see the light of day where a witch (Probs Rowena) is so sick of the Winchesters and Cas’ shit and lack of communication which leads to way 70% of all their problems casts a spell on them where they have to sing what ever is on their mind whenever they go to lie or deflect.

So I was picking out who is going to sing what song and when I got to classic rock loving Dean, I decided it was obviously going to be a Taylor Swift song, naturally. But as I was listening to to Taylor, it’s impossible to pick one song because Destiel are so Taylor Swift coded.

So my top picks so far are fearless, ( ironic because of favourite closeted bisexual is anything but) sparks fly ( this one is so obvious you either get it or you don’t) but I think my favourite is the story of us (please just read all the lyrics is almost too perfect “but you held your pride when you should of held me” HELP)

If anyone has ever watched the show ‘Zoeys extraordinary playlist’ this fic is basically that but super gay and with monsters.

Please anyone with actual writing talent would like to steal my idea, please do because I would love to read it. Or anyone knows any similar fics then send a rec my way PLZ.

[cherryblossomshadow]

The scene in question

Excerpt from "The Family Treasure" NBC Quantum Leap (2024) 2x10

Transcript:

Sarah Malek: Oh my god, are you okay? Are those bandages? Are you hurt? Dean Malek: Not exactly. *takes off shirt to reveal chest bindings* It is a bandage, but that’s not why I wear it.

.

Ian Wright: Wow. Transmasculine in the ‘50s. I mean, I had a hunch. But this is … Jenn Chu: Isn’t that dangerous though, binding with elastic bandages? Ian: Good eye. Look at you. But there weren’t exactly a lot of options back then. Dean must feel so alone.

.

Sarah: I don’t understand. Dean: When I wear this, I feel more like myself. Sarah: So do you want to be a man? Dean: No. That’s not it. Sarah: Do you think it’s shameful to be a woman? Dean: No! Being a woman is great … for some people. But I’m not really one or the other. I’m just Dean.

…

Ben Song as Nadia Malek: You look badass. Dean: You two like the whole “miss” and “ma’am” thing, but that’s not me. And I’m … I don’t want to be “sir,” necessarily. I wish I had better words for it. Ben: You know, my best friend b-back at, um, finishing school- Ian: *laughs* Ben: They also feel the same way. So they ask us to use “they” and “them” instead of “he” or “she,” which is really binary. Dean: Binary like spy code? Ben: Yes, and also, a binary is anything with only two possibilities. A light switch is either on or off. A person is either good or bad. Sarah: But I don’t think that’s true. Ben: Exactly. So we need more possibilities than binary, right? Ian: *tears up* Ben: My friend identifies as nonbinary. Dean: I like that. Sarah: So that’s what you are, nonbinary? Dean: I mean, I’m not ONLY that. But yeah. Feels like me. Sarah: But you’re still my sister? Dean: I’m your sibling. Sarah: Okay. I can live with that. Come here *hugs them* I love you, Dean. Dean: I love you, too. Thank you for listening to me when I tell you who I am. Ian: Well done, Ben Song

.

See also:

[theamericanfriend1977]

hiiii top 5 martin/lewis moment pls boss

ohhhhhh god this is psychological warfare... thank you so much for the ask comrade <3 so i haven't gotten to the colgate comedy show yet and i WILL be in the trenches for live shows on youtube because their unscripted riffing is sooo good but this is what i got so far in a sort of general way... special mention to the dino cumshot gag in you're never too young

1. any time either of them breaks it's sooooo wonderful to watch people who make each other laugh so bad that they forget their lines. like when jerry makes fun of dean's nosejob by saying "thank you father of a new nose" to dean and he breaks so hard he shouts to jerry (who's now off-stage) "you threw me off!" or the skit where jerry bites a guy and dean is fighting for his life to keep a straight face etc

2. the mirador shower photoshoot. dean martin hanging dong TWICE... jerry tasteful nudes?... well i don't know why it happened but love is love

3. i looove their performance of every street's a boulevard in new york from living it up it's one of their songs where they complement eachother really well

4. the live performance where they apologize for their feud and promise to keep doing shows (😞) and then the curtains close and then open to them fistfighting and then close and then open to them hugging and then closes and then opens to them groping each other and some guy trying to break it up. i think that ultimately the american public just wanted to see these guys fuck nasty but the hays code prohibited it from happening on the colgate comedy hour

5. ough so many other moments but for some reason i love the end of the caddy where jerry's like "we got it real bad ain't we dean?" its just a cute moment :^(

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 07x22 There Will Be Blood

“What a dick” “oh. How’d he get that?” “oh yeah” “the way they shoot the film, everyone is closer together. They did it differently in the winchesters. It feels more up-close-and-personal” “just a little bit” ‘it’s not in pie. I guess it’s mass produced pie” “that didn’t age well” “Did they just summon him?” “sounds so funny”

“All for chopped dick” “They shouldn’t have used the name Dick” “the fuck did I just read?” “oh it takes it in the butthole” “jacket matches the building, and the car, and the flask. Very red day” “I know they have to talk with him away, but Is it good to have him somewhere else?” laughter

🎶roadfood🎶

🎶phallic objects and water🎶

‘That’s what they said about the butthole” “do we have a sacrifice going or what?” “No?” 🎶what the fuck🎶

“Just three armed men walk into the fkn room” “nice” “just pick it out of a satellite image. She doesn’t even know what a phone is bro” “is there a song about Dean being a warrior? That was a very odd comment” “Zulah Montana” “He looks so angry” (we rewound the scene) laughter “what the fuck” laughter

“Out of the fkn hand. Like oh my god.” “that needle is big enough to go through the hand and into the thigh” laughter

“Oh my god. I didn’t catch what was going on at first, but the siren with the song is funny” “what happened to her eyebrows? Oh its’ shadows” “yeah pretty much” “I don’t know what that means either” “doesn’t bobby see the code for the safe?” “he’s not doing so good. That escalated quick. It only took like 3 episodes” “just sniffing corn” “catching ZZzzs? Like in Sesame Street?” laughter

“I don’t know who’s dumber - Sam or Dean for suggesting that” “holy fkn shit” “my brain shifted from that jumpscare and now I have a headache” “oh shit’ “it’s that fkn guy” “hell yeah” “owie” “I don’t know what maui wowie is” “oh because he does believe them I guess” “yup. It’s wood” “is he going to try to get the first strike?” “That’s a fkn sweet ass stairwell” “wasn’t that his only vial?” “that didn’t hurt him for that long” “oh shit. Well there ya go” “That was juicy” “Well at least he also thought it was juicy” “what the fuck are they gonna do?” “oh he’s kept them since forever. I see’ “does that mean what it’s supposed to mean? Like next season of the tv show?” “well shit” “was that voiced over?” “that was a pretty bad way to do a demon circle thing”

[hahahahahangst]

Angeleyes (Be The Young 42)

TW: [suicidal thoughts, self h*rm, violence] Other tags: [sister fic, canon-level violence, angst] All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will occasionally break canon✨ .

Summary: Emily Reed, born and raised in Portland, is preparing her admission papers for Stanford, medical school. One night, a fire erupts in her house. All that is left is a letter and a name: John Winchester.

"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."

MASTERLIST

Angeleyes

Sometimes when I'm lonely, I sit and think about him And it hurts to remember all the good times When I thought I could never live without him

“It has to be code, right? There’s no way somebody built a castle on top of a hill of dogs.” Commented Dean, distractingly scrolling on Emily’s laptop as she stood behind him. They had met Becky, who gave them a message from Chuck on a possible weapon that could kill Lucifer.

“Good one, Sherlock.” She commented, sarcastic. “Give me that, okay?” She took back her computer and pushed Dean out of his chair. “By the way, Sam, I love your new girlfriend. Doesn’t give me the same weird vibes as Ruby did.” She said it without even looking up from the screen. Dean reluctantly moved to the chair in front of Emily and exchanged a quick look with Sam. 

“Ruby was never- she wasn’t my girlfriend and Becky isn’t either!” Lamented Sam. 

“Sure, kid. Whatever makes you sleep at night.” Emily kept browsing as Sam stared at her, his eyebrows raised. She quickly lifted her eyes above her screen and saw Dean, bent on a book, trying to hide a laugh. 

When Bobby arrived, he did it with the unmistakable sound of the Impala. Shortly after the sound of the car, was the sound of someone knocking on the door. Bobby entered the room. 

“You weren’t followed, were you?” Asked Emily, closing the door. She hugged the man. //what 

“You mean by angels, demons, or Sam's new superfan?” He smiled. 

Emily went to sit on the couch with her laptop, trying to get as much info on Micheal as she could before they left. Bobby opened up a book and explained who Micheal was. Emily didn’t pay too much attention, completely wrapped up in her research. A few minutes later, Bobby handed her a book that she placed on the floor next to her, waiting to finish the article she had been reading. Her attention was brought by Sam standing next to a pile of books, just staring at them. 

“Kid? You all right?” Asked Bobby, preceding Emily. 

Sam turned around to face him. Emily knew what was about to happen: Sam was going to try and apologize again. She had been feeling most of Sam’s guilt for the previous hours, slowly radiating in the back of her brain like a never ending elevator song. 

However, Emily was sure Bobby would not have reacted like she did or like Dean did, so she didn’t have much to worry about. He was going to be understanding.

Right? 

Emily lifted her eyes off the screen to look for Dean, who was trying to stop Sam. 

“Sam, stop it.” 

“Lilith did not break the final seal. Lilith was the final seal.” Confessed Sam. Emily exhaled and rolled her eyes. She looked at Bobby. “You guys warned me about Ruby, the demon blood, but I didn't listen. I brought this on.”

Dean turned around, disappointed, as Bobby walked closer to Sam. 

“You're damn right you didn't listen. You were reckless, selfish and arrogant.” Said the man. Sam tried to apologize again, but Bobby wasn’t having it. “Oh, yeah? You're sorry you started Armageddon?” Emily closed her laptop, surprised by the man’s reaction. “This kind of thing don't get forgiven, boy. If, by some miracle, we pull this off...I want you to lose my number. You understand me?” Sam nodded, but he didn’t look more bothered than before. Emily focused on Sam’s figure and on his feelings. She had not done it in a while, trying to contain them in a corner of her brain, where they mostly went unnoticed unless he was feeling something very intense. He wasn’t only feeling guilty anymore. She could not distinguish it clearly, in the whole mess that Sam’s thoughts were, but she was almost sure it was sadness.

“There's an old church nearby. Maybe I'll go read some of the lore books there.” He said, grabbing his backpack. She watched him leave the room and the second he turned the corner, her mind was flushed with just sadness. As Sam walked more and more far away, however, his feelings disappeared from Emily’s mind, finally leaving her alone with her own thoughts.

Dean caught her staring at the still open door. “You know, Emily, why don’t you go check if he’s okay?” He said. Emily was raised from her trance and scoffed. “You really gonna pretend like you’re not worried?” 

“Worried?” Emily repeated. “Try furious.” 

He nodded towards the door. “I don’t buy it. I know you, kid.” 

“Shut up.” She mumbled. 

“Emily, just go.” He sighed. “The Miracle girls need each other.” 

Rolling her eyes, Emily stood up and put in her bag her laptop and the book. One of the things she hated the most about her and Dean somehow getting along was how she could not hide anything from him anymore. She could try, but he usually caught up very soon.

Reluctantly, she said goodbye and left the room. Sam was not too far away, Emily could still see him at the end of the street. She jogged to him. “Hey.” She said. 

Sam turned towards her, surprised. “Wh-”

“Dean forced me, don’t let it get to your head.” 

Sam exhaled and shook his head. “Right.” He whispered. They walked in silence towards the church and then sat in the small library. 

Sam started taking notes from a book, writing on a piece of paper. Emily did the same, but she used her laptop as a shield between her and her brother.

Emily, can we- Asked Sam, using telepathy for the first time since they were helping Anna. He closed his book.

“No.” Emily said, cutting him short. A little cloud of dust flew out of Sam’s book and settled back on the table. “We need to do research.” 

“Why did you come here if you’re not even going to talk to me?” 

“As I said, because Dean told me to. Take it up to him.” She went back to her notes. “Also,“ she added. “Stop using the fucking telepathy, okay? I don’t-” She hesitated. “Just stop.” She concluded. Sam reopened his book with a sad sigh. All his sadness flushed in the back of Emily’s brain. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. 

Sam quickly glared at her. “Are you okay?” 

“I swear to god, Sam, if I hear your voice, your thoughts or your feelings for one more second I will start throwing punches.” She said, rubbing her eyes. “I’m sorry, I- I don’t know how to stop it.” 

“Do I look like someone who cares?” She pointed at herself. 

“No, sorry, I-”

“STOP SAYING SORRY AND START DOING SOMETHING!” She yelled. Her voice echoed in the almost empty room. Clenching her fists, frustrated, she tried to recollect herself. “Listen, you’re sorry. I get it. You said a dozen times just in the last twenty four hours.” She sighed. “But repeating it over and over won’t change anything.” Sam looked at her, silent. “I used to trust you with every single cell of my body. I trusted you enough to follow you in your meetings with Ruby, I trusted you enough to-” She scoffed. “It took me years to trust anynody like that. After dad died, I knew that it didn't matter what was happening, or what I was feeling, I knew I could count on you to be there with me. Then you died. And when you died, everything else in my life died with it. Then I die, I come back and you-” Emily hesitated. She looked at the ceiling. “It felt so good to have a sibling again, and then you decided to… fuck it all up.” She pinched her nose, exhaling sharply. “I told you you were not gonna get a second chance if you chose her. I'm sorry, I-'' She stared at him, looking for the right words. “I wish I could just forget everything, but I can't.”

“Okay.” He whispered. Emily glanced at him one last time before she went back to the book she was trying to read. “I think I'm gonna head back to the motel, I-” Sam hesitated. Emily didn’t dare looking up from her book, completely ignoring the fact that he didn’t need to see that she was crying, he knew she was crying. “I'll just go.” He concluded before he left the room. 

The second Emily heard the door close, she released all the tension in her body. A sob went past her guard. She rolled her eyes at herself and held her breath. One side of her was screaming that she should just forgive him and pretend nothing ever happened, she did it with Dean, she could do it with Sam. But the other side said no: it said that Sam had broken her trust before, on multiple occasions, that he had all the chances he needed, but he screwed up twice. That he didn't deserve a third time and that forgiving Dean was okay, it was different. 

She was dead. 

He was dead. 

Nobody suspected there would ever be real life consequences to what happened in hell. 

Forgiving him was okay, even though what he did was thousands times more painful than anything Sam could ever do. On various levels.

She walked out of the church and took her phone out of her pocket. 

She had one unread message from Dean. She opened it. It was very quick: 

911 hospital

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 174

Everybody Hates Hitler/The Wedding of River Song

“Everybody Hates Hitler”

Plot Description: Sam and Dean investigate the death of a rabbi who spontaneously combusted. They soon learn that the rabbi was researching nazi necromancers

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I’m not a nazi, I’m not a necromancer, I’m certainly not a nazi necromancer. I think I’m good

I’m mostly just worried that what this show is going to do is call whatever the product of necromancing that large man a golem……..

…how far in advance did the Men of Letters pay the electricity bill? Or do they have their own whatever??? Because this place has been abandoned for YEARS. THANK YOU, Sam.

Me 🤝 Dean: this thing can’t be that dangerous. (Reader, it was. But where I only mildly burned my finger on a car’s cigarette lighter, Dean cut himself with a scimitar)

I’M not denying that this dude is being followed and has some real supernatural worries goin on because *gestures broadly* BUT I can’t blame the librarian for wanting to go home shortly after closing time. Like. That’s just normal

I am BEGGING for a scene with Kevin and Garth, not just mentioning them

I AM glad that the boys have a place that isn’t just the impala to call home now

I don’t know what’s happening to him rn but…maybe he’s just growing up and college coeds are not on his radar anymore (one can hope), but Dean would normally be way more interested in what these two girls are saying…and not getting distracted by the guy subtly trying to get his attention from a distance

HE’S SO FLUSTERRRRRRED after finding out this guy thought they had a little bit of a thing when they saw each other earlier (which…I must have stepped away from the screen)

Mmm yeah, of course that guy’s still alive somehow.

*loud groan of exhaustion and disgust* I KNEW they were gonna do that…okay. I’m KEEPING MY FINGERS CROSSED FOR THE BEST HERE

Okay. At LEAST the golem seems to have been created by Jewish characters. It wasn’t super clear in the opening scene

“Everybody loves bacon” is such a 2013 sentiment

This poor guy…just had defending against the nazi necromancers dumped on his lap with zero preparation

I feel for this dude. Not only did he ask for none of this, he also was kept from a lot of his specific heritage by his parents. It’s not his fault he’s kinda helpless

Not a huge fan of seeing the nazi take control (however temporarily) if the golem, but I guess you have to raise the stakes somehow…and Aaron DID get control back, with the Winchesters’ help, but he started the attack on the thule

“The Wedding of River Song”

Plot Description: The Doctor makes his final journey to the shores of Lake Silencio in Utah

(I made a mistake and took a nap this evening and then didn’t wanna do anything else)

Awww, Charlie Dickens!! Amazing they brought him back at all/any rtd era character

The way this version of the universe is so fucking weird but I like it anyway.

Yeah, of course Moffat wrote this one. A woman is to blame for stopping time completely

Do we ever actually find out what THE question is? The FIRST question? The one that must never be answered

I’m not super familiar with the Brigadier but I’m still feeling a pang at his passing, even if it’s just in universe (I truly don’t know if that’s true)

…he replaced himself with the robot with miniaturized people on it. Right? I get that we have two actual Rivers

This episode of DW is the opposite of yesterday’s spn. Instead of a guy from the past coming to 2013 scoffing at that present, we have Winston Churchill making snide remarks to the Doctor about if he has heard of downloads

I never realized how ace-coded the Doctor can be til he told Rory that Amy called him “Mister Hottie” and would like to go out for “texting and scones”

The way she’d rather destroy all of time than kill him. It IS touching

Istg if either Amy or Rory die due to this….stop. No. Stop. You can’t kill Rory AGAIN. Oh good…Amy saves him with a machine gun. Give Karen Gillan All the Weapons Challenge 2k23

It……it IS weird they Amy tried to hook up with the Doctor all that time ago and now she’s his mother in law

Is THE question REALLY the fucking show title or are we gonna get something better than that?

(Realizing I don’t have long til the 50th anniversary special…like…by the end of next month, I think I’ll have watched it)

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

I know I've complained about this before, and I know the correct answer is "people can actually think whatever they want about silly TV shows," but my god does it stick in my craw every single time there's a concerted fandom push to assert that Dean is canonically uncomfortable with masculinity --> forced to perform masculinity --> arguably not actually a man at all, as proven by something about the way he performs or interacts with masculinity.

Like, right now the going thing from a blogger I generally like is a series of long and heartfelt posts that stem from a thesis -- presented without examples! -- of how you really see Dean "come alive" and "light up" and seem at home with himself when he's interacting with female-coded things, which proves his "fascination with femininity" and makes him ripe for a nonbinary/transfem reading.

And like. I do not think anyone's transness has to be proven or justified by submitting a long enough list of Gendered Interests, I do not think it works that way at all. But -- for the sake of argument -- here is the list I came up with of things that canonically make Dean come alive/light up/appear to be having an absolute shitload of fun without any apparent sense of feeling obligated to display interest:

1) famous cowboys in history 2) professional wrestling 3) Scooby-Doo 4) 80s slasher movies and their deep lore 5) arguably in many cases, rich food (burgers, pie, bacon)

These are all things that, if your thesis is "masculinity is ill-fitting and uncomfortable for the Real Dean Winchester," you kind of have to -- account for. You have to make these either false, performative interests -- a very weird, contra-canonical reading, I think! -- or you have to say that these are things that Dean doesn't experience as male-coded, so they don't trigger any dysphoria for him -- also a pretty quirky reading, I think.

Spn fandom *loves* to be like, "remember that time a pop song came on the radio and he just left it on?" or "remember that time Sam said Dean watched chick flicks and Dean didn't argue?" -- but like, in what universe do things like that constitute Who Dean Is, but the entire episodes revolving around his actual passionate interests are just Obviously Fake because -- reasons? Because he's just so afraid to admit the truth about his gender, whether he's alone or in front of others, that he's gaslit himself into thinking he likes pro wrestling for protection?

When we see Dean's literal dreams, he's in a strip club or he's fishing, both Traditionally Masculine places of refuge from stress; his figurative dreams are expressed at various points as 1) guitarist 2) mechanic 3) honky-tonk bartender, not one of which would ever get your masculinity questioned under even the most draconian patriarchal conditions. In order to posit that Dean has a profound discomfort with masculinity that shapes his character and his life, you have to argue that literally every part of Dean, his words and actions and heroes and hopes and even his very subconscious are all covering for a truth that he never gives expression to in 15 years, at which point neither canon nor characterization have any meaning whatsoever anymore.

Again. I know I've said this but. There's no version of this that doesn't come off as auditing Dean's actual expressed sense of gender identity and judging it false under a kind of One Drop Rule, where you can Act Like A Real Man 90% of the time, but you're still under suspicion because it wasn't 100. No matter how much you mean that affirmingly -- no matter how much you think it would be great for Dean not to be a real man! -- the premise itself is so inherently fucked up, so irrevocably wired to the notion that masculinity and manhood are always conditional states and that anyone can bring a counterclaim at any time.

[queerfables]

Would y'all like some Supernatural Lore dropped on you that I assume was common knowledge at some point but which, as a new fan, I haven't really seen talked about? If so, settle in to learn about the origin of the phrase "The French Mistake", and some cinematic history on fourth-wall breaking that hits real differently in light of season 15.

We all know "The French Mistake" as the title of That One Episode where Supernatural goes so meta the real world becomes part of the show (also Misha Collins gets murdered?? I might as well confess now I haven't actually seen this episode, I'm still working my way through to it. Hopefully that doesn't become a problem...) Anyway, what you might not know is the title comes from the movie Blazing Saddles.

With some caveats, Blazing Saddles is an absolutely incredible movie: it's a comedy western made in 1974 about a Black man who becomes the sheriff of a racist town, defeats capitalism and gets a cute sharp-shooting boyfriend. The "boyfriend" part is subtext, but it's pretty damn loud.

So where does "The French Mistake" come in? It's the name of what might be the movie's most iconic scene. In the middle of the climax, a big western shoot-out turned brawl, the camera pans up out of the town and onto an adjacent movie set. The brawling cowboys burst through the wall of that set, out of their own film and onto the new set where they continue to fight. This is why the episode of Supernatural is named for this scene. Just like in Blazing Saddles, Sam and Dean stumble out of their fictional world and onto a film set.

Here's the part that takes this from good to GREAT: in Blazing Saddles, the set they burst onto is a musical, being filmed in the style of a Busby Berkeley number, and before our cowboys break through that fourth wall, we see a staircase lined with chorus boys. They are dancing suggestively, thrusting their hips and singing a song called The French Mistake.

Throw out your hands. Stick out your tush. Hands on your hips. Give them a push. You'll be surprised, you're doing the French mistake.

Look. Guys. It's a song about anal sex. It's being sung by a group of gay men. When the cowboys break the wall and stumble onto the set of the musical, one of them starts out fighting with one of the chorus boys and ends up walking off arm in arm with him. Two other chorus boys go for a romantic swim in a fountain.

"The French mistake" is a reference to the breaking of the fourth wall but it's also literally a euphemism for queer sex. Blazing Saddles makes breaking the fourth wall intrinsically tied to queerness breaking into the heterosexual narrative (I could write an entire essay on how that plays out in the relationship between the leads, Bart and Jim. Suffice to say they trade their horses for a limousine and drive off into the sunset together). Worth considering: are the metanarratives and fourth wall breaking on Supernatural also intrinsically tied to queerness manifesting in the narrative?

For a whole host of reasons, Mel Brooks thought Warner Bros would bury Blazing Saddles rather than release it. He told everyone working on it to just go wild and do all the things they wanted to do but never expected to get away with, because the chances were good it wouldn't matter. He had the right to the final cut - meaning that the execs couldn't force him to make any edits - but he didn't know if the film would ever see the light of day. It did, though, and ended up being a major hit. Brooks talked about this, and in particular the French Mistake scene, in an interview with Entertainment Weekly:

That was dangerous because I was asked by Warners — they said I can do everything you said, but they kept saying, “Don’t do the gay scene. Don’t break through the walls and do the gay scene. You’re crossing a line there.” I said, “Don’t be silly.” There’s always these musicals being shot at Warner Bros. with top hats and tails and dopiness, you know. I said, “It’s a good mixture of cowboys and gay chorus boys.” So I kept it all in. I had final cut.

There's something kind of familiar about that, right? Don’t break through the walls and do the gay scene. Queerness and metanarratives bound together, threatening the status quo. This scene in Blazing Saddles was so threatening to Warner Bros that above everything else in a very boundary-pushing movie, this was the one they wanted to cut.

One more thing that hits different after season 15, from another really meta episode... Yeah, I'm referring to the famous "why lamp?" scene. Other people have already talked about how the way Dean's dancing sequence in The Hero's Journey recalls the Hays Code and deliberate queer-coding in classic Hollywood. But I want to go further and say that it also specifically recalls the scene I've been talking about, Blazing Saddles' 'The French Mistake' scene.

Maybe this is just because it's drawing on the same frame of reference, or maybe it's more deliberate, but either way, the parallels are there, down to the suggestive song playing (We're all alone, no chaperone... let's misbehave). It's really telling to me that this dance sequence so closely parallels a scene that was almost censored for being too gay.

[incarnateirony]

idk if you are on twitter, but there's a journalist named Natalie fisher that basically just said we should believe that episode 18 was mishas last? on one hand a lot of the analysis you provide makes sense, but also like,, she is a journalist so idk what to do with this information

...Listen, I’m going to tell you something.

Someone literally told that same journalist exactly what was going to happen in the 15.18 confession scene before it happened and she argued with them that it wasn’t going to happen.

I only know this because a friend explicitly asked me if they were allowed to tell her our exclusive leak which was different from the original script leak but had to do with a fluke interception of the episode in transit. Because other countries exist that dub the show. But of course you can't just swing that around, so it was proposed, and apparently, she sat there refusing it. Well, we tried.

Our own server was so damn well prepared the bot was coded to link a Whitney Houston song any time someone yelled WHITNEY, as was expected inevitable, because the general vibe was

An entire server of clowns had like 60 memes ready. But here she is, arguing. With someone who knew better. For 2 months. Condescendingly even. Like wow that's stupid it would never be that loud ignore it lolol.

In fact in her misguided confidence she basically gaslit both herself and the friend to the point the friend rolled back what they believed and started questioning if it was a translation issue since it didn't arrive in english and maybe cas reall WASN'T going to tell dean he had always loved him and tell him why he deserves it before the empty takes him.

Uhhh...

So like. 

Take it with a grain of salt.

Natalie is usually good, for the record. Among journalists, she’s okay. She’s even friends with Meredith. But that said Meredith clearly didn’t tell her that, and that had been planned from go. She’s been stonewalled, she’s not getting screeners, she’s not getting intel, she’s /just as blind as you are right now./

Also her own logic is self-contradicting. What she is functioning on is anxiety.

Just like everybody else. She’s not used to flying blind. She’s used to knowing exactly what’s going on. She’s not used to doing fandom CSI and frankly, she even has been known to uh, borrow meta, but most meta right now is “DeanCas?” and she doesn’t want to do that because “getting up people’s hopes” or whatever. So she doesn’t have her direct feed line, she doesn’t have her screeners, she doesn’t have her normal press access and she doesn’t even have content to lift.

Summarily: she has no idea how to function right now, and I actually mean that in the kindest way.

As for that conflicting logic? Read her thread and apply your brain.

She acknowledges that Misha said he was going to be filming 5 more days after episode 18.

She then says that covid might have changed it.

She then also says that the reason he can’t come back is actually because that would just about demand reciprocation from Dean which, she personally believes they can’t do (just like she didn’t believe a week and a half ago that they were going to do ... uh, 15.18.)

Okay, so riddle me this: if the logic is that Misha can’t come back cuz it’s too gay, what does covid have to do with that change, and why would that change from literally the day after they filmed 15.18?

Logic people. Use it. Stop letting anxiety drive your CPU. 

Like either they had a way to handle it or they didn't. You don't cut one of your leads for extras after a major plot decision. And she even breaks out the stupid HE WAS FILMING A DIFFERENT MOVIE THATS WHY HE WAS IN VAN line.

Protip: spn was the only thing back in production then. They were the first ones back and a testing ground for Vancouver protocol.

Protip: the Amazon movie he's filming is filmed in the US

Protip: he went through multiple beard and haircut waves between each of these events, changing for each role.

What this actually means is, in lieu of actual sources, she's lifting fandom created noises that simple checks shoot down (eg being in van before van filming opened to film a us movie that didn't start filming for weeks even after his covid quarantine period in the wrong goddamn fucking country). Fandom, so goddamn desperate to find some validation for noise, decides to ascribe extra meaning to words and ideas they themselves halfassedly created and got a confused fandom journo to repeat in lieu of other sources. This is like the Trump Fox loop.

Pls ppl i beg you to use your braincases.

Like us, sitting here staring into the abyss of a transcript of not just words but events, trying to shoot holes in the source for months, peering into the abyss of the chain link saying "Destiel is going canon" (though i disagree with the fandom use of the term still) and even we weren't ready for the merch line that Stands had planned for a year and a half and also not told anyone.

Is this a way to promise your specific destiel goalpost is hit, no. But it's a point that currently she knows no more than you do, she has been violently wrong on just this topic matter recently, and her points don't even MAKE SENSE.

As it is, even on set leakers have been wrong. The original march leak came attached to a statement of having read 19 and Cas not even being mentioned. How did that work out for you?

But sure. They decided a groundbreaking swing for Cas with marketing for Dare To Defy everyone called queerbait that he and Jensen were both put in and a full planned merch line but stopped their plans because of the gay covid.

Again, do i promise your personal destiel landmark, no. Am i confident that Misha will be in the finale? Absolutely. If you remember in regards to destiel, before the season started, I commented that with the change in WB leadership, having its first woman CEO, having more women, people of color, and lgbtq people in high-ranking positions that ever, they're repackaging plan to recover from the AT&T bounce, the complete crash out of CEOs in their child and sister companies, and more, Anything Could Happen. I believe I used the term, it is a roll of the dice. Somewhere in the depths of my blog from season 14 and 15 Hiatus is the phrase, with the right roll of the dice, we could do anything. That line, from the god corporate told them in s11 they couldn't kill so they would find another way, has still slapped the taste out of my mouth from the Trap.

[red-hood-vigilante]

more hbo spn rambles, thoughts, drabbles etc. long long post.

part 1 here

there’s some things i’ve omitted here bc others have already posted about those things, certain headcanons and characterizations and stuff. those posts are in my likes somewhere (and i’ll reblog them someday), and there’s some posts i’ve read but not liked, which i now can only vaguely remember, which is why some ideas/thoughts are similar

ALSO most of these follow the model i talked about in part one: how s1-5 will stay more or less how they are but s6-10 is changed (some things are cut out entirely, some things are tweaked and some characters + arcs are more fleshed out. more focus on sam’s trauma and post-cage adaptation to the real world as well as dean letting his rage and control issues consume him and how he’d recover and redeem himself)

as i typed these paragraphs, i realized i really have 10 seasons mapped out and ready to go. hbo hire me!!

alright go:

sam and dean get wearier as the show progresses (second half), and eventually they stop putting so much care and thought in the people they save. like...hm how do i say this, like as long as a victim/victims are saved, they don’t care about how that happens or how those people suffer potential consequences, like if the victims lose a limb or have their homes burned down because of the monster, then sam and dean don’t really care. they saved your life, now they’ll leave you with your life in potential shambles and not care because all that matters is that they saved your life, not how it is afterwards. they still care about saving that one person, but eventually it pales a little in comparison to a war between heaven and hell, being the vessels etc. ---> saving people becomes less about making sure they’re actually alright and healing from horrific events and more about just making sure they have a pulse before they move on

when angels lose their wings they are either burned off in the actual fall or ripped off of them in their vessels, which leaves pretty nasty scars on the vessel

ed and harry are so young and bright eyed about the whole hunting thing; sam and dean as kids, idolizing it, finding it exciting and intriguing when they shouldn’t. sam and dean try to get them out of the business before they too are too traumatized and desensitized to do anything but hunt. neither sam or dean will say it but they are jealous of ed and harry and their freedom to leave, and hate them for choosing this voluntarily instead of being dragged into it by tragedy

hbo spn is a slow burn. there’s a lot more shots of sam and dean in silence just sitting together after a hunt, exhausted and too tired to move yet. they’re covered in blood and guts on the side of the road after killing or covered with dirt in a graveyard after burning bones, sitting next to the fire, just watching it. the times they park the car and watch the stars? we get to see it. 

dean wears rings and the amulet all the time in the beginning, for the first five seasons. the rings vary; first they’re some of john’s old ones and stuff he finds in thrift stores. then later on he begins wearing rings from people they’ve saved/haven’t saved as a keepsakes etc. when he begins his descent to the holy murderer in s6-10 he wears less and less rings. they don’t matter anymore -> symbolically shedding who he was and what mattered to him

the only accessories sam has is a rosary/cross around his neck. he has jess’ engagement ring in his pocket/wallet. after the cage he vaguely remembers why the ring was there and who jessica was (more on this further down)

the four horsemen are manifestations of different aspects of human nature at its most grotesque and strongest, can’t be killed as long as humans live. war is conflict, famine is desire, pestilence is physical and mental illnesses.

(the seven sins are like the horsemen, tulpas of human nature instead of demons)

death isn’t a concentration of an existing aspect of humans as much as it is the end of life, the antithesis of life. death the oldest of the horsemen and has existed since the beginning of any life, organism, cell and atom. the opposite of life and light, the other half of god (as i’m typing this i’m confused as to why  amara was the opposite of god instead of death). death isn’t evil or good, remains 100% objective. doesn’t care for sam or dean at all, but has a begrudging respect for their stubbornness and entertainment they provide due to their flat out refusal to do as they’re told by celestial bodies when anyone else would crumble

by including death i feel like it very naturally begs questions of who decides when someone dies, when someone lives, why would death follow these guides instead of reaping whomever whenever, what happens if a life isn’t reaped at the right time etc. the reader in me adore the idea of death having a library with books and records of everyone who has ever lived and died and how they died - but then, who writes these books and why? do they decide, and if in that case, how? these questions are above my paygrade but you know what i mean? like there has to be some sort of system right, god created everything, death executes to maintain order, some third party deity writes the laws and the books. the three branches of government. ok but it’s hbo so again, i think we shouldn’t dive this deep into things, like as much as these topics intrigue me i don’t want to stray too much from the dirt road trip aesthetic

shapeshifters are extremely rare because they don’t require any kind of human blood or organs/sacrifice to live

i want more exploration of how magic is like science, like it just needs the right ingredients and right conditions. sam thinks of magic as an obscure branch of science; it just requires research and knowledge and clear intentions because science can be controlled and do a lot of good when used responsibly. dean doesn’t like it. he doesn’t trust the unpredictable elements and he’s seen enough to know it never goes well. magic is a force that can’t be controlled by anyone.

sam and dean have full on fist fights regularly. to practice and keeping each other sharp, but also because they’re siblings. they’re feral, insane and unhinged with each other and they get on each other’s nerves A LOT. it’s petty and childish and sometimes it can get a lil ugly but it becomes their way of family therapy. after a fight the next scene cuts to sam and dean with ruffled clothes, nosebleeds and swollen lips at a diner eating silently after beating each other up. either they sit in silence because they’re tired or both are harping on the other’s openings and weaknesses

sometimes they’ll fight a little dirty but they do so in different ways; dean will pull the old ‘look!’ and point to something and then tackle sam when he turns to look while sam will just cry out in fake pain which makes dean stop dead in his tracks before sam headbutts him or kicks him in the groin

we, the audience get used to these fights, they’re sometimes funny and for comic relief, sometimes for narrative purposes (like tricking a monster they’re fighting each other when they’re really not) BUT. then comes the times when sam and dean are actually fighting without holding back and we see how much they are capable of hurting each other or how heartbreaking and difficult it can be to watch when of them are incapable of fighting back/doesn’t defend himself -> swan song when dean doesn’t fight back against possessed sam, or when dean beats soulless sam unconscious

sam and dean also just verbally bully each other constantly but they do have their odd ways of expressing affection and care. they get the other person their fave snack whenever they go grocery shopping without being asked to and are the only other one they truly trust to have their back in hunts. have a cup of coffee ready before the other asks for one. brothers and each other’s best friend. nightmare duo but in a sweet way. the cooperation of ‘the usual suspects’ when they’re in different interrogation rooms but still has the cover story down to a t. code words and code names and cover stories, they know it all

when sam and dean fight together against a common enemy they’re a damn nightmare - because they know each others weaknesses and habits, they cover each other perfectly and in complete silence. they’ve been at it together since they were kids and read each other’s nonverbal cues like a picture book

to build off of what i said in part 1; the winchesters are pretty hated in the hunter’s community. even the people sam and dean frequently work with (bobby, ellen, jo, ash, rufus, bela, kevin, charlie, castiel etc) roasts them all the time and don’t hesitate with calling them out on their self-pitying crap when it get’s too much (spn was just objectively better when characters weren’t afraid of dragging sam and dean through the mud for being selfish and stupid) and this WILL persist in hbo spn. the only reason people continue working with sam and dean is because they know deep down a lot of the things that happens aren’t sam and dean’s fault - but they still blame them for it. doesn’t make it easier how sam or dean sometimes start crap on purpose to save the other

the winchesters are terrifying and people for sure tell stories about them, but not like ‘they’re heroes’, more like ‘they’re insane and dangerous. stay the fuck away from them’. some stories are true, like how they’ve worked with demons, but some are just game of telephone. (dean has apparently a ghost he is frequently possessed by while sam is actually a mutant vampire). hunters hate and are scared of the winchesters. sam and dean are never invited to hunter stuff (burials, memorials etc) but crash them nonetheless even though the hunters do NOT want them there.

you know what drives me insane when i think about it? how some characters in spn already are their hbo spn counterparts; john. mary. adam. maybe kevin?

other things that already are their hbo spn counterparts: dean throwing away the amulet right in front of sam. eyes burning when angels are seen. how ghosts are just tragedies, stuck in a loop they can’t leave. how a lot of the monsters they meet are just victims or their circumstances or the first victim of a curse. the impala being sam and dean’s home. dean not knowing how to comfort sam when he’s upset other than trying to do things for sam that usually brings dean comfort (driving the impala, listening to rock music etc). the roadhouse. heaven being an eternal version of the memories that made you the happiest even though it’s not real. sam wanting independence and freedom but never fully having it. dean fearing being alone more than anything else and that’s where he always ends up. sam has an eating disorder after the demon blood and dean has an alcohol problem he refuses to see as a problem. dean saying “i’d do it again” without an ounce of regret and pouring himself a drink when sam tells him it was fucked up to lie to him about gadreel

the demon/angel hybrid: THIS could be sooo interesting to explore. an angel and demon hybrid are you kidding me?? not to toot my own horn too much but i’m so clever. i should write this story myself. SO. does this creature have parents who fucked in their vessels or was this an experiment by god (yes i love the ‘mad scientist’ idea, that really should’ve been played up way more) or did a pre-existing creature (human or otherwise) drink demon blood and angel grace at the same time so that it created itself? so much potential for some really intriguing storytelling and character exploration - not only the creature itself and what they would be like, but also for the people around; sam, dean, castiel, jack etc. how would they react to this thing that is the very definition of defying heaven and hell and all the natural laws? does it exist before the show starts or will we see its birth?

the powers of the demon/angel hybrid would be tricky; a mix of holy and defiant, grotesque and beautiful. unconsciously forces people to tell the truth when talking to them. poisons whatever they touch. eyes of a demon, wings of an angel. can smite but skin will burn when touching iron. can do deals but will require a sacrifice in return, not a soul, usually a body part taken then and there (the hybrid eats it. it favours eyeballs and the liver - angels like raw meat). lights always flicker. makes things explode when angry (esp people and cars). can manipulate feelings, thoughts and memories. can travel to both heaven and hell, not welcome in either places. + standard stuff like telekinesis, teleportation, mind reading, super strength etc. 

sam and dean’s wardrobe are pretty much the same; whatever’s cheap and not covered in blood. however, they do have stylistic differences. sam thinks graphic tees are funny, dean uses whatever’s black combined with john’s leather jacket. their wardrobe melds as they stop thinking of themselves as individuals and more of “me and my brother,”. their clothes are tattered and torn to shreds all the time. hand me downs, hand me ups. when they stray off their “path” and do things that are the crux of a storyline/character arc, this would reflect in their clothes. when sam is with ruby and becomes more and more “evil” he wears more and more red, a colour he has stated in the past he doesn’t really like. when dean is dead, sam starts to wear his rings and john’s and dean’s leather jacket. when dean decides he’s going to say yes to michael he dresses in white, when sam is dead dean takes off every piece of jewelry except the amulet. he holds it clenched in his fists when he’s whispering what comes close to a prayer

logically the amulet should have a backstory but you know what? i love that it’s hinted to be just a piece of cheap jewelry sam found in a thrift store he decided to give to dean. but narratively it should be explained so... idk. what could be logical solution as to why it would react to GOD himself? maybe god wore it once cuz he thought it was neat but he sold it for three dollars because he wanted coffee and then sam found it a week later

i would prefer it if god didn’t show up at all (absent father number one) but if he DID he’s not all powerful just a true neutral (like death, 100% objective) who created a thing that just took a life of its own, much like a parent and a child - the parent helps the child but can’t control it. the times he did intervene or tried to do something it didn’t really have any real long lasting effect so he gave up on trying a while ago. 

@spneveryseason talked about this, how the storyline of sam being possessed by gadreel would be horrifying if we saw everything from sam’s perspective instead of dean’s (her fic is wonderful). in the ‘dean slowly descends into a righteous murderer to become holy’ idea i have this tracks so damn well because again, if dean believes something is right, it is right, no questions about it. everyone around him is like “that’s really fucked up and you should make amends” but dean doesn’t see any reasons for why - sam is alive isn’t he? and seeing it from sam’s pov would really underline how horrifying, dehumanizing and belittling that experience was

john and mary are adam and eve. sam and dean are cain and abel are michael and lucifer. time is a flat circle. history never stops repeating itself. 

sam is the villain of s4. he is manipulated and key information is withheld from him but in the end... would it made a difference? it crossed his mind, that he could be tricked because ruby is a demon after all, but maybe he likes the power, the feeling of freedom, that he wasn’t just the baby, the one who always needs permission to do things. if he has to drain possessed people to get that power... so be it. and it’s for a good purpose, until it isn’t. he’s hungry for more, to be feared and respected. he’s enticed by lucifer’s sweet words, the potential of all that power and the idea of ruling two out of three realms. dean manages to pull him back from the brink because sam decides he doesn’t want to be what john thought he was and fail dean and himself like that.

dean is the villain in s9. he is controlling, the mark of cain without the mark. what he says goes - it’s not a democracy, it’s a dictatorship. he doesn’t see how much pain, doubt and fear he causes the people around him. if some victims or civilians die on his watch that doesn’t matter - just some collateral damage. sam can’t make dean listen to him because dean is the older one, the one who’s always called the shots. dean is the angelic one, heaven’s chosen warrior, he is untouchable and unkillable. he’s is an excellent killer, filling the void with blood and rage which is better than the crippling fear of loneliness carved into his bones. 'i butcher for love, to protect,’ he tells himself. ‘why shouldn’t i exterminate, regardless of the cost? i’ve followed the rules, i’ve always sacrificed. now i call the shots. it’s my right.’

sam’s hell trauma is never magically removed. he’s stuck with the memories and the nightmares and the occasional hallucinations. castiel can’t do anything but offers to wipe his memory completely, but sam says no, he is still doing penance. 

after dean comes back from hell he starts calling himself old man and jokes a lot about he’s 40 years older now (after he’s more comfortable about speaking about hell) 

when sam comes back he feels ancient (he’s over 900 years old at least but he lost count), weary, tired and so so so out of place in this world. he’s forgotten how to put gas in a car, how to drive, how to use a credit card, all the song lyrics he and dean used to yell together, the faces of people he knew before he fell, the softness of a bed, the schools he went to, most of the hunts he and dean, how john died, who mary is, the initials carved into the impala, the taste of food that isn’t raw meat. it’s so much he’s forgotten that he has to relearn. he prefers figuring things out with castiel instead of dean because castiel doesn’t silently resent him for everything he’s forgotten

sam doesn’t laugh anymore. despite dean’s many and castiel’s few awkward attempts, it’s more like quick smile and a quiet “hmm”. on some days he recoils when he sees blood and guts, on other days he’s so apathetic it’s unnerving

sam sympathizes with the brought back mary and castiel more than ever. dean tries to get sam to remember things he’s forgotten from his childhood but sam can’t connect with it anymore. he stopped being that sam a long time ago. dean doesn’t know what else to do than try to force this connection to be revitalized and he fails. sam isn’t that person anymore and this wedge in their relationship becomes a central factor in dean’s s6-10 desperation and isolation. sam is here and safe but it’s not really sam, not the sam dean grew up with

while sam has forgotten how to make coffee, he now knows everything about angels, effective torture tricks, a bunch of lore + biblical history, how to navigate hell, the most powerful and influential demons, rare and powerful spells as well as perfect enochian (he will speak enochian without realizing and it feels more natural than english). lucifer and michael were surprisingly talkative (raging about the unfairness) when taking their anger and hatred out on sam and adam and each other. sam had access to all of lucifer’s memories and knowledge for the time he was the one in control. walking library and encyclopedia of biblical lore.

he still has some muscle memory from hunting and sparring, but sam is ghostly thin and very rusty. even though he’s an expert on lore, he’s not fit to go on hunts anymore and he knows it. 

sam remembers adam and swears he’ll try to get him out, but he can’t. just thinking about the cage makes him vomit. he can’t talk about it, much less go near it. after a while sam thinks it might be better to let adam stay down there than let him come back up and feel this crushing emptiness and loss of direction

sam’s trials take place in s9 instead of 8; coinciding with dean’s villain arc. for sam the trials are a chance to redeem himself again, this time for good by closing hellgates forever. they’re scrubbing him clean of the demon blood and his sins and they give him a sense of purpose again now that he can’t join hunts anymore. it doesn’t matter if he dies because of it. it would be nice with a permanent and peaceful death that did something good. dean is taken aback by sam’s devotion to repent for something that happened years ago and for something sam has already paid for a thousand times over. dean realizes how messed up he himself has become and how he’s helped put sam here, on the cusp of self sacrifice again because of sickening guilt and self hatred. dean begs sam to not complete the trials at the cost of his own life and swears he’ll better himself, be a friend and a brother, not a jailer, dictator or a murderer. ‘if you won’t give yourself or life another chance, please give me one.’ ---> s10 pacifist dean learning to let go of the control, the violent tendencies and the rage

oh wait what if gadreel still possessed sam after the trials to heal him but sam is the one who invites the angel in? he’ll keep his promise to dean about staying alive, as well as heal from the inside and have breaks from the world when he doesn’t want to be present, like he and gadreel will alternate being the one in control. he keeps it a secret from dean and helps gadreel imitate him so dean won’t notice. it’s not so bad, being possessed by this angel - sam can say no anytime and gadreel is a nice guy. since they alternate on who’s present they can access each other’s memories, which is terrifying and embarrassing at first, but since gadreel and sam have been tricked and used by lucifer and been punished for it for far too long, they understand each other. now another creature knows their trauma and terrors without the need for verbal explanation. also having an angel residing in his body makes sam feel like he can hunt properly again because gadreel can heal him and take over in situations sam’s overpowered. this could show how messed up sam has come to view himself and his body. 

dean is conflicted when he finds out; sam lied but gadreel does help sam heal, sam’s traumatized and his self-worth is fucked up and dean has contributed to that. dean convinces sam to push gadreel out, that sam is still valuable, loved and a good person who shouldn’t be in a place where he views his body and mind like a property to be occupied. sam’s faith begins to come back bit by bit, not in god, but in himself, his brother, in the good things in life. they build their little family; sam, dean, castiel, the hybrids, whomever of their allies that are alive at this point.

castiel can heal sam and dean’s wounds but they are never completely gone; they leave scars and phantom pains. the brothers have SO many scars over the years. dean flaunts them to impress people because he likes the questions and the fearful admiration, the attention and the nods of approval. sam hides them.

when dean is in a bad mood or needs to get his mind off of things, sam just drops something like ‘i don’t get the deal with led zeppelin. one of the most overrated bands of all time’ and dean will go OFF every single time about the entire led zeppelin history, their discography and how they’ve shaped rock music. this will go on for hours and sam will zone out after 1 minute. but dean rants nonsensically the entire drive and it does get him to think about something else for a little bit. they stop at a motel and dean is STILL ranting while brushing his teeth. stops when going to sleep but without fail picks up where he left off the morning after and is so into it he doesn’t notice sam not paying attention at all. we could see this once in s1 when they’re searching for john, another in s3 when dean is anxious about his deal coming to an end and then again in a later season, when sam doesn’t remember to ask/doesn’t have the patience or mental capability, so they’ll sit there in tense silence, showing how much they’ve changed.

---> i can see this SO clearly in my head, how they’ll get in the car and we, the audience, will recognize the camera angle, the same lines and dean’s grumpy mood, and we’ll anticipate what comes next. but sam isn’t that kid anymore and he’s not peeking at dean to gauge what his mood is and how much of a shit eating grin he should wear when being an annoying little brother to cheer dean up. now he’s looking out the window, leaned back, they’re not looking at each other. this shot is a minute or two long, uninterrupted. dean turns on music but neither are singing along or doing anything to lighten the mood. 

s1-5: sam gets hooked on demon blood, dean has an alcohol problem. when sam goes through withdrawals, dean decides to quit drinking and joins him because he wants to be supportive, and he realizes that when he drinks two beers for breakfast there’s a problem

s6-10: sam takes painkillers, anti depressants and anti psyhosis meds to numb himself from the phantom pains and reduce post-cage effects. dean started drinking again after sam jumped and still does, but started smoking in addition because he still drives a lot and doesn’t want to die in something as pathetic as a car crash. 

there a scene in an episode in the first half of s8, when sam has decided to stay with dean instead of amelia, and dean has rejected benny in favor of sam, and then the brothers sit in a couch watching tv while drinking beer and neither of them look particularly happy about it - that’s how their relationship is a lot of the time. they know they’re fucked up and neither of them will ever be truly happy when the other’s around, but they owe each other so much and they don’t have to explain themselves to each other the way they do to others. they know each other so well, each other’s traumas and the things they’ve done, it feels fake and exhausting to try to be something other than the veteran hunters they are. misery loves company; they are miserable together but would be far more miserable apart and living a normal life. they do love each other, but neither of them are particularly happy as the show progresses. family is hell and so is the lack of it. 

OK OK i mentioned it in part one, how i had my own very specific idea about how jack should come to be and here it is. long winded but (might just write a damn fic): 

after lucifer was cast back into the cage, he is stronger than he has been in a long time (being in his true vessel helped him stretched muscles he forgot he had. and fresh air.) sam is pulled out of the cage and it leaves a rift in the magic and chains - the binding is weaker and lucifer must act fast to get out before it heals. the cage is still strong enough to hold two archangels, so lucifer has to become weaker somehow to slip out through the cracks. he can’t get out of the cage, but souls can come in. demons bring themselves and human souls as tools for lucifer to use. there’s not much he can do here - consuming them, eating them, touching them, dissecting them doesn’t give him what he wants

eventually lucifer realizes he must do like azazel and create something new of two halves, like when he created demons. he begins melding his archangel grace with a human soul. he tries with demons, but his archangel grace automatically purifies them and leaves them too weak. he must try with a human soul who is good. he finds the soul of kelly kline, who sold her soul to save a loved one. with her, the merging, works. 

he has another self, a twin, a son, who’s half human and half archangel. half lucifer. the old lucifer will die but that’s ok, his desires, presence and self will live on in his new creation. the new lucifer barely makes it out of the cage, only able to due to its human side. on earth it creates a body for itself and takes shape, no longer a form of pure power and energy akin to the sun itself but now a person, reminiscent of kelly kline on earth and lucifer in heaven. they name themselves jack. jack searches for familiarity and finds it in sam, their old self’s perfect tool and another hybrid. jack finds a mentor in castiel, a younger brother and fellow angel with human elements. they do not find anything in dean, the key to his former self’s doom.

jack’s powers: their powers are like and unlike the angels because he is half archangel. jack has wings but sometimes they don’t work, or they’ll end up somewhere else entirely. their body is their own, not a vessel, so jack can’t possess people. doesn’t talk but people “know” what they’re saying or want because jack emits their emotions and thoughts to people they’re talking to like a radio tower. jack can also have this empathic connection and communication with animals. his mood affects the weather. immortal. reads minds. can remove a soul from a body and send it to heaven/hell by touching it, with practice they don’t need to touch a body. 

other stuff about jack: the human/archangel nature means jack only need sleep and food once a week or so. eats only nougat and raw meat. because jack is a kid they nap a lot. levitates when sleeping. never blinks, stares intensely at everything. their eye colour changes based on their mood. eyes glow in the dark. normal humans who look at jack for too long experience memory loss, fainting spells or migraines and eye contact for more than 10 seconds give vivid hallucinations of their worst nightmares. always barefoot, often floats like 10 cm off the ground because they find it more enjoyable than walking. wears the wildest clothes they can find, nothing matches and nothing is weather appropriate

i have a very specific image of jack in my mind; they look like delirium from the sandman comics with the hair that looks like it’s underwater and the fishes floating around their head, here and here are examples. in live action this would look not good or maybe even ridiculous for sure but in animation... endless potential for angels and monsters to have super interesting designs sigh

castiel’s arc should end with him going from blind soldier, to the unwilling ruler of heaven, finding a place on earth with sam and dean, becoming closer with humanity and eventually a father of three (the hybrids). 

[marlborodean]

hi there! I love ur amvs!! have you ever talked about what programs u use or tips & tricks u have or something? I know some creators have posts like that but I wasn’t able to find any on ur blog. and no worries if u don’t have anything like that, either way, lovely stuff uve made<3<3

hii thank you so much!!!! i've never posted anything about it, but i'm happy to share! :) below the cut, since it's long, is a list of what i use to edit, and some tips&tricks. everything i use is free and accessible (and linked below) & if u want further explanation on anything lemme know <3

what i use:

i screen record off netflix using a combination of the mac screen record thing, which captures just video, and the app screenflick, which also records audio. however the free version has a huge watermark on it so that's why i have to use both. (otherwise it's one payment of $35, so i'm considering it and doing away with mac screen record.) if i make a video from just one episode i'll try to find a torrent for it but that usually doesn't go well. i haven't checked out this resource yet but i think you can download spn episodes here.

i edit on davinci resolve which is the closest thing i can get to adobe premiere (i used to use adobe for school so i like it).

i recently started using the website moises for when there's background noise or music in a scene with good dialogue i want to use. it's free for 5 tracks a month, 4 minute limit each. however it's only $3.33 a month for unlimited uploads with a 20 minute limit, so personally i'm willing to pay for that since i use it so much. (if anyone can't pay for it and wants some background noise removed, send me what you want and i can do it for you)

other great resources are things like spn wiki, or even gifsets, to track down like, the perfect shot of dean eating a hamburger or a good long shot to include scenery.

tips & tricks/process:

color code your clips and use markers. it helps to visualize my project as a whole and stay organized. i color code based on lots of things: episodes, themes, if there are people in the shot, if there are weapons in the shot, etc. i use markers to mark where sections of the song begin, or where in the timeline of the show this part of the song should lead up to, etc. 

utilize the beat AND lyrics of the song. an easy way to make an amv feel more cohesive and put together is to time it to the beat or rhythm of the lyrics of the song. making clips mirror what the lyrics say is also really effective, even though it's passe in the music video industry.

color correct. even as little as adjusting the temperature or brightness/contrast. also good to sharpen clips, but not by much. more intensive color correction for me involves creating color palettes based on the feeling of the song, and blending them onto the video layer (soft light, multiply, overlay, etc). i also duplicate the layer and color pick from the shot and desaturate everything, blend that down as well

organize/plan ahead. once i decide on a song, i'll listen to it for awhile and read the lyrics as i brainstorm and think abt the concept to help associate images and think of a story. usually i add clips to the lyrics of the song first and then fill in the empty space.

don't be afraid to edit the song itself. don't feel like you have to do the song in its entirety. you can always make it shorter, one verse or chorus if you want, or just cutting a bridge of the song out. one of my early drafts of this involved duplicating one of the memoria's to add five seconds but by the end i cut that and also cut an additional five seconds from the solo

add sound bites. if you can have dialogue peppered throughout or even at the beginning of the video, it feels higher quality. also utilizing sound effects in the show (gunshots, keys turning in locks, etc) is fun, but make sure they don't have background music

the rest is tiny finicky adjustments to both the visuals and the audio, and it takes me 3-4 drafts before i'm fully satisfied with the video lmao!

bonus: if i'm not directly inspired by a song, i look at my playlist of songs i think would make good videos, but if nothing there inspires me i'll just find a song in my playlist for that character or relationship

if u want more detail on anything i mentioned, or something else i haven't, feel free to ask! hope this was helpful! & i super appreciate the love <3

[soleilsuhh]

hi hi, its me honeybee again! idk if u were fr about making playlists, but either way ill give you my top 5 songs that make me think of you <3 sorry i mostly listen to krnb, but feel free to listen to any of these that peak your interest :)))

1. flower by code kunst ft. jay park, woo wonjae, and giriboy

2. nice weather by babylon ft. gaho

3. restless by bibi

4. color you by chai ft. sam kim

5. missed call by jiselle ft. chancellor

let me know what u think, faye !

hi honeybee ! omg i adore you for doing this, you didn't have to <//3 also can i just say your music taste is beautiful :( <3 i listen to a lot of krnb too so these are right up my alley. and the fact that you included restless by bibi !! that's one of my favorite songs by her :( <333 tysm !

here are some songs i associate with you:

dayfly by DEAN, SULLI, rad museum.

lukewarm by satomoka.

inside by JUNNY.

i mean i mean by jeebanoff.

pool by snaze, xydo.

please have a lovely day/night <3