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whateverisbeautiful · 11 months ago

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♥️ Ranking Richonne

#2: I'm Still With You (S5E16)

My favorite pre-canon Richonne scene. 😍 This moment is something special and monumental for many reasons. Plus it features my favorite thing Michonne has ever said to Rick in TWD. To me, the connection, vulnerability, and steam in this scene are nearly equal to some of Richonne's passionate exchanges during their post-canon era. I love that this moment makes it loud and clear that these two have a very powerful effect on each other. And most importantly, I adore this scene for cementing that Rick and Michonne are with each other always. 🥹 What a gift...

A lot of relationships can appear strong during happy times when both individuals are on the same page. However, it's during those challenging periods, when two hold different outlooks and have a multitude of things weighing on them, that the true strength of a relationship really becomes evident.

So part of what puts this scene so high on my list is that it is one of the clearest depictions of why Richonne's relationship is so deep and durable. Because even at this time when circumstances could have easily caused a major divide between them, Michonne and Rick instead choose each other and prove this is a relationship that they sincerely value in the good times and the hard times too.

But, before we get into the #2 scene, we have to talk about some scenes that proceed it in the s5 finale. 🤗

As I’ve said in a previous post, I think this scene where Rick wakes up to find Michonne watching over him and they finally talk about his headspace is extremely revealing of how he views her. Rick telling Michonne, "Well you wanted this place," just really hammered home that in many ways she’s in the wife category to him. Rick was trying to secure this place for team family, but especially for Michonne in a way that he wasn't able to do for Lori.

The scene opens with Rick asleep after Michonne quite literally knocked some sense into him the prior ep, and it's funny that when he stirs awake, he laughs almost amused as he recalls the wild stuff that happened leading up to this point.

Then Michonne asks, "What’s so funny?" and you see a surprised little look on Rick's face as he asks, "You were here the whole time?" And I like that there’s not an ounce of frustration towards her after knocking him out. He gets it.

I love that Michonne is the one in here with him. Even knowing Rick has been wildin' out she’s still protective of him. Cuz she can knock him out but that doesn’t mean she’s gonna let anyone else come for him. It’s like a visual representation of the sentiment she’ll later express in my golden #2 scene.

Michonne even says she was there with Rick all night, which is such an indicator of her love for him. And then because she knows his laugh meant something, she reiterates "What’s so funny?," and I love that Rick is willing to be vulnerable about his headspace with her when he admits to her that mentally he’s still stuck in the train car from Terminus.

Michonne gives him the rundown of what he missed, and it’s clear she was thoroughly holding down the fort and keeping the peace while he was out of it.

Then I appreciate that Michonne closes some of the distance between them when she pulls her chair closer and asks, "Rick, what are you doing?"

It’s clear she’s concerned about him, and I like that she asks this way. It’s not accusatory like, 'What were you thinking?' or derogatory like, 'What’s wrong with you?' She wants to know what he’s doing cuz clearly she can tell Rick thinks he’s doing what he has to even though he really doesn’t have to. And if he’d be honest with her, she could help him see that.

Like in this scene, Michonne really could have told Rick...

And she'd be right lol. 😋 However, when she asks this, Rick doesn’t have an answer so then Michonne for the first time addresses the Pete and Jessie situation.

She says, "You could have told me what was happening." And there’s a deeper reason Rick didn’t tell her, beyond what he’ll claim here when he just says "it moved fast." He kept people closest to him like Carl, Michonne, and Glenn out of the loop about the Anderson situation because in many ways his off behavior in that situation was not rooted in clarity but rather in the unresolved wound of losing Lori without closure and the severe PTSD that everything about ASZ triggered within him.

He says it moved fast “and then Noah.” The way Rick says that part feels like he knows how hard Noah’s loss was on Michonne. We saw her grieving Noah a bit in a prior ep too. Which would make sense, especially because Noah, as a kid who didn’t make it, could stir up a lot of pain over losing Andre for her. 😢

Rick says he couldn’t tell her about the gun and, while it could seem like he says it like he couldn’t trust her with that info, he knows what he really means which is what he’ll reveal later - that he couldn’t tell her cuz she had the power to talk him out of it.

Michonne sarcastically says, "nah you couldn’t," cuz she knows Rick knows good and well he can tell her anything.

It becomes clear that Rick meant he couldn’t tell her because of her influence on him when he says, “Well you wanted this place.” Again, I’ll always love the significance and delivery of this line. And he’s not saying this accusatory. He knows finding a home meant something to her, and it meant something to him that Michonne got what she wanted.

It really feels like during this whole arc, Rick didn’t want to tamper with Michonne's experience in ASZ by roping her into his underhanded plans with Daryl and Carol because they were plans that suggested the place could fall or not work out, and he knows Michonne wanted to believe in this place.

Along with knowing Michonne could talk him out of this approach, I've always felt like part of why Rick kept her out of the plans - plans that normally he would want her fully involved in - was because of his desire to "give her this place" without the burden of expecting things to go wrong.

Think about pretty much all of Rick and Michonne's scenes in ASZ leading up to this point, especially the scene where he looks right at Michonne as he "signs the papers" and agrees to be a constable with her the day after she expresses to him that she would want a job. Each of their ASZ scenes suggested that even as Rick was spiraling on his own mental journey, everything in him still wanted Michonne to have this place, even if it meant carrying the burden of intense uncertainty on his own.

Fortunately, in this ep, Rick learns that he is no longer with a partner who expects him to carry any burdening issues alone ever. 🙌🏽

So then Michonne adamantly tells him they had to stop being out there, and she's right as always. Then Rick says, "Well we’re here," and I love Michonne’s response to this. She notes what Rick said earlier about still being mentally stuck in that train car when she compassionately says, “Well you just said you weren’t.”

And really it’s true, the poor guy has not been all there in ASZ hence some of his more volatile behavior. And Rick looks like he knows Michonne has a point when he stares at her in this moment.

Then when Carol, Abe, and Glenn walk in (which feels like they are walking in on the Richonne bubble) Rick is caught in the middle with Michonne on one end asking about the gun, and Carol on the other wanting him to lie.

And you can just tell that man does not want to lie to Michonne anymore. But he goes along with Carol’s story even tho Michonne ain’t buying it, looking at Rick and Carol like...

Later, Carol talks with Rick alone and is in his ear about continuing their trust-no-one approach. And the first thing Rick asks is why she didn’t want to tell Michonne, Glenn, and Abe about the gun. You know those magnets within him are ready to stop with the games that are causing distance with Michonne and come clean to her once and for all.

Carol seems to suggest that Michonne knocking Rick out might make her untrustworthy of being let in on their plans, but I adore that Rick so quickly and confidently defends Michonne, saying both that he deserved what Michonne did and that, "She’s with us."

He knows and trusts his woman, y'all. And I love that even after Michonne knocked him out and Carol's trying to cast doubts about her, Rick's still like...

In this whole ASZ situation Carol and Michonne reflect two different ways to approach ASZ. And in this scene with Rick and Carol, it’s clear that Rick has already been swayed more to Michonne’s side, especially as he tells Carol, "I don’t want to lie anymore."

This moment lets you know that without even directly talking him out of it, Michonne has again influenced Rick to no longer want to scheme and plot under the table. I know Rick hated feeling even remotely distant from Michonne, and he’s ready to fix that and stop lying to her asap.

Also, now you know I don’t really care to revisit any of those scenes, but all I’ll say about the scene with Jessie in this ep is it’s an interesting choice to have Rick only seen through the window when they talk. It again shows that in this situation he’s not all there, as Rick's not even seen present in the same shot as her, just a reflection of who he is.

But then, in this next scene, this Top 2 classic, not only is Rick directly in the shot with the woman he’s meant for, but the two get all up close and personal too...

Ok so on to my favorite pre-canon scene and top 2 moment. 🤩

I love that after such a compellingly wild journey with Rick’s character arc in season 5, his turning point back to some sense of sanity in the finale is in this moment with Michonne. She’s the person in his life most capable of helping him start seeing things clearer.

It reminds me of Rick’s other mental spiral arc in s3 and how his turning point was also Michonne-related as nearly giving her up sparked him to return to democracy. No matter how off the deep end Rick can go, something about Michonne can always bring him back. 💯

So the scene opens with Michonne approaching the room and softly saying, "Rick, you ready?" which I like especially because in 5.11 she had asked Rick that very thing right outside the gates of ASZ before they ever entered the community.

And in some ways, Rick wasn’t fully ready to let go of the fight and embrace this place back then, which has led to their current predicament. But even then, she still checks in on him now and wants to know where he’s really at with this.

(also the opening shot low-key feels like she's the angel arriving on his shoulder to guide him back to the light, if you ask me.)

This moment of her checking on him also sorta feels like it parallels that scene in The Distance when Michonne approaches Rick outside the barn while he works on a car. There's some similar positioning with him lower and her standing above, but the interesting difference is in 5.11 Rick and Michonne were discussing the potential for other people/communities to pose a threat, and here in 5.16 they have to deal with how Rick is now deemed the threat to the community.

Then I love that all Michonne has to say is just those three words - "Rick, you ready?" - and Rick is ready to completely spill everything. Like details and all with no hesitation. 😋

Rick lays it all out saying how he, Carol, and Daryl worked out the plan to keep guns together, and he lets Michonne know exactly what they took from the armory and exactly what they still have.

Rick says, “We lied to you cuz I wasn’t sure how you’d take it - what you’d do.” which has always been quite interesting to me because like he knows Michonne wouldn’t just straight up turn on him or fight him but I think just the mere thought that what she’d do is pull away from him or be disappointed was enough for Rick to feel he couldn’t risk telling her.

And I like how, as he says this, he holds his hand out to give her the gun as this symbol that not only is he confessing, but he’s ready to “turn himself in” in a sense and let her have the gun and have intel on the plan completely, rather than hide anything from her.

I feel like this moment really hammers home that Rick views Michonne as his partner. They'd been operating like partners and co-leaders so much before arriving in Alexandria, so Rick knows that Michonne is someone in the group who would have and should have been let in on these types of plans, which is why not telling her felt like a lie that weighed on him.

I like that when Michonne hears Rick say this, she puts the windbreaker down, knowing they need to have a moment and talk this out so she can let him know exactly where she stands.

She asks if he thinks she’d try to stop him, and Rick, always finding time to be a little teasing with her, says, "Well you did hit me over the head." You know he's teasing too cuz he literally just defended her doing this when he spoke with Carol earlier lol.

And I appreciate that Michonne wants it to be crystal clear she did that to help him and not for the others. "That was for you." Of course, it’s for him, and doing what she thought was best to help him.

Even before hearing her say this, you know Rick believes that she did this with his best interests in mind.

And then I adore that he gets extra vulnerable for this next part, with this being his turn to close the distance between them.

Rick stands up and gets super close to her - cuz magnets - and he finally tells Michonne that he didn't tell her about the guns because “I was afraid you’d talk me out of it…you could’ve.”

Y'all, I love this. 😊 That "you could've" is going to hit my heart every time.

I’ve mentioned other pre-canon moments on this list where Rick has told on himself in terms of what he feels for Michonne. But none more than in this moment right here does Rick outright expose that Michonne has a very special and substantial influence on him.

It’s a big deal one; for her to have this power, two; for Rick to know Michonne has this power, and three; for him to then straight up tell her she has this power.

This is extremely significant, especially because Rick was seemingly at his most dazed during this 5B arc and said himself he was in the middle of losing his mind...and yet even in that disoriented state, he still had enough wherewithal to be aware that Michonne could get him to change course if she so much as talked to him about the situation.

Like homeboy was struggling to know right from left at this time, but one thing he did know was that Michonne had the power to heavily influence his choices and actions.

Rick Grimes won’t just let anybody talk him in or out of things, and yet Michonne effortlessly can do both as we saw throughout s5 and beyond. He also trusts her to know the immense influence she has without manipulating it. And honestly, he picked a good person to give this power to because Michonne is always right. 👑😌 Like fr...

I love that Rick finally came right out with it and told her this because he seemed to deep down know it was the case all along. Michonne means a whole lot to him, he fully respects her wisdom and ideas, and something in him always wants to give her what she wants, and in some capacity, he knows this about himself even here pre-canon.

As this is the season 5 finale, this is when they tie up a lot of arcs and storylines, and it’s fitting after a season where Michonne so fully stepped up as Rick's co-partner and both led alongside him and led him - the season ends with Rick actively knowing that just Michonne’s words, hell even a mere look, could influence his decisions on crucial matters. Even after losing it a bit in Alexandria, he still knows he'd trust Michonne’s gut even over his own. 👌🏽

And for him to say, "I was afraid..." I love the vulnerability. This is the Rick Grimes who has often had to come across as fearless to those they encounter, but here he can be honest and human and let her know that the influence she has over him is strong enough to even make him afraid.

Deep down something in Rick knew that Michonne has his whole heart and that he’ll ultimately be swayed to do what she says. Also, the visual of the two together is just so pleasing and the chemistry is always 🔥🔥.

And then cuz you know these equals stay taking turns sending my heart soaring - it’s Michonne’s turn to have me jumping for joy when she responds to him. (That's part of what makes this a top 2 moment because Rick and Michonne both have a line that just leaves me endlessly beaming 🤗)

First, Michonne so gently tells Rick they don’t need the guns here, and she doesn’t need her sword. It makes me think of the really sweet and sociable honorable mention moment they had in 5A when Rick asks her about her sword, and she says she doesn’t miss her sword but rather misses people they love like Hershel. Both these moments show she's always had such a solid perspective. 👑

Also y’all, as Michonne is talking to Rick in this s5 finale moment, again I have to point out the way Rick is looking at her...Whipped with a capital W. He looks so entranced that he again has to have one of those signature not-so-slick look-up moves he does whenever he knows he’s about to get lost in her lol.

I mentioned in a previous post that the story knew it wanted Rick and Michonne's journey to be that of an epic love story, hence why so many of their pre-canon scenes feel like they could fit perfectly into a romance. And you know who also naturally knew this - the Andrew Lincoln.

Because honey, the way his eyes always told the story that Rick was in love with Michonne 👏🏽👏🏽. Especially in this season 5 finale scene, all you have to do is look at Rick's eyes to know...

When Andy played our beloved sheriff during this pre-canon era, he basically said I don't really care what other storylines y'all got going on for Rick cuz whenever Rick is in front of Michonne he's going to look at her like she's the one for him really and truly. And I appreciate him for it. 😌

All those special stares between both Rick and Michonne throughout their journey really do add a wonderful touch to this love story. 👌🏽🥰

So then Michonne says, “I think you can find a way,” showing her steadfast belief in him. And then I love that she then emphasizes, “We can find a way.” It's refreshingly letting him know that, in navigating all this, he doesn’t have to do it alone. She will be by his side and they're a package deal. 😊

And then, as you know, what makes this scene such a classic is when Michonne flat out expresses the sentiment that they are forever a package deal when she so sincerely says, “And if we don’t…I’m still with you.” BEAUTIFUL. 😭

Oh I adore it with everything in me. She’s communicated to Rick that she’s still with him in so many different ways throughout the series, but I love that here she gets to look right at him with so much love in her eyes and let him know directly that she’s still with him no matter what. Good, bad, or ugly, she will forever be team Rick Grimes. 👌🏽

And it’s huge for her to say this and for Rick to hear this. Finding a home base has been Michonne's big goal this season and Rick's been aiming to provide that home - but now in the finale, this is Michonne’s chance to tell Rick she found home long ago because home actually isn’t a place - it’s him. And he no longer has to worry about losing her.

Also with the uncertainty of their world, how deep is it that they found a nice cushy community, a gold mine in that world, and Michonne is saying I still choose you even over the invaluable safety of having this home. As I’ve said before, this is the season where Rick and Michonne both show through words and actions that they will follow each other anywhere.

It’s so moving for Rick, someone who knows disloyalty well from his previous pre-apocalypse relationships (Lori & Shane), now has this woman to say I’m on your side always. And it's big for Michonne to know that the bond she formed with Rick is one she'll be committed to no matter what. Just a precious sentiment and my favorite thing she’s ever said to Rick so far. 🥰

And the way Michonne is looking at him. 😍 She’s in love with him, can’t tell me any different. So I, of course, gotta give major props to the Danai Gurira too because she also helped sculpt this story in the direction of a love story with the way Michonne would always look and talk to Rick.

Then Rick seems to just be taking her in completely as she says this lovely loyal line. Rick's look here feels like yet another moment that suggests he marvels over how he got so lucky to have someone like her be with him like this.

As Rick and Michonne let a silent moment linger between them, it really felt like RJ’s parents were finally about to kiss in this scene. Cuz these two were practically having this conversation...

Instead, Michonne notes how "something is going to happen," cuz she’s not naive or overly idealistic, and then she wisely states, "just don’t make something happen." And in this moment we’re seeing in real time the way Michonne just expressing herself can impact Rick and motivate him to change course.

I'm sure a lot of characters would have assumed Rick was unreachable in his season 5 era, but Michonne can always so effortlessly reach him and get him to try a new approach.

After she beautifully and prudently expresses this, Rick looks at her mesmerized (the usual), and then hands her the gun again, so eager to offer it as this peace offering that says he is with her too and willing to try to go about this her way rather than fight this his way.

It's a big deal for him to do this and I absolutely love the visual of this whole wordless moment.

I mentioned how in Clear, Michonne hands Rick a bullet as a sort of peace offering to show she’s on his side. And here Rick offers the same with the gun, but I love that instead of taking the gun, the shot draws emphasis on the two’s hands (seriously, Richonne stays giving the most Outstanding Performance by a Pair of Hands 👏🏽) as she softly places a hand over his and signals both that he doesn’t have to give her the gun and that she trusts him to make the right choice with it.

Again, Michonne is the soundest character in TWD, bar none, so in this moment, she knows it’s not necessarily unwise to have the gun, she’s not against the idea of precautions, but she also knows hostility is simply not needed here. And I love the arresting way they can always disarm each other, even without taking a gun.

And the moment just feels genuinely intimate and romantic which I love. Any time they touch it’s sparks. ✨ Michonne's first initiating touch with Rick was outside ASZ in 5.11 and now she does it again in the finale as touching his hand almost reflects her once again hoping that he’s really ready this time to make this place work.

But even if he's not...she's still with him. 🥹

Rick and Michonne then share this palpable passionate look before she heads out, sounding like a wife as she tells him, "Don’t be too long."

And that eye contact tho. 🔥 Richonne's eye contact at the end of this scene alone deserves its own shoutout. 👏🏽

Y’all, let me tell you what we just watched in this scene were some soulmates. Not just besties, or family, or partners - no, this was an exchange between soulmates. That’s their person, their true love, the one they trust unwaveringly - and somewhere in them during this scene, their hearts know it too. Their minds might need to do some catching up, but their hearts know if you ask me.

At the end of this scene, Rick stands alone in the room and holds the gun, moving his hand almost as if it's Michonne's touch that's most lingering with him. It may sound straight out of a romance film to say that, but that really is an element of what this subtle moment is giving.

Seeing that tiny moment of Rick's reaction to the gun in his hand after Michonne's tender touch just confirmed to me that one of the great perks about this ship is we never have to embellish the spark between Richonne because there really are just that many little romantic details to notice and cherish within these scenes.

Rick’s lingering reaction as she leaves also makes it feel like the gun weighs more than it does as it now symbolizes a weighted decision “to use or not to use.” But he knows deep down because the woman he loves has spoken and touched him literally and figuratively, he wants to make his next move one that she could be proud of.

And after a scene as romantically coded as this one, I too don't care what other storyline was supposed to be happening during this time...because Richonne was on the fast track to canon. 1000%.

Like truly after this moment there is no convincing me that Rick was healthily falling for anyone else. The chemistry, attraction, respect, love, and desire are far too evident in this scene between Rick and Michonne to suggest anything other than that canon Richonne is just around the corner. 🔥 And I love that Danai also noted this as a scene that really made it clear Rick and Michonne's bond was bound to blossom into more.

In season 5, who Rick was authentically in love with was crystal clear and who Michonne was authentically in love with was crystal clear. And fortunately, the following season, Rick and Michonne finally took the leap and made it crystal clear to themselves and the world that the two were in love with each other. 🙌🏾

This "I'm still with you" scene was an especially blatant sign that Rick and Michonne had developed an unbreakable love. And this moment is deserving of my #2 spot for how much meaning it carries.

The scene powerfully shows that what Rick and Michonne have between them is and has always been so incredibly deep, influential, reverential, beautiful, steamy, and special - and that no matter what they face or where they go, Rick and Michonne will always and forever be with each other. 🥰

#richonne #top 30 #top 3 #number 2 #rick x michonne #reveling in richonne #the best thing Michonne said to her husband so far 😍#twd 5.16 #twd towl #the ones who live

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descendant-of-truth · 1 year ago

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Okay I know this is technically an act, but. I do feel like there's something to be said about how Dark Rockman's idea of friendship is to be so completely subservient to what Netto wants that he neglects to inform him of things that would be helpful to the situation

And yeah, the goal is to get himself arrested, so naturally he causes as much property damage as physically possible under the guise of helping Netto, but like... he doesn't need to do that. He doesn't need to act friendly for his "oh no I've suddenly got a major defect" shtick to work.

You could argue that he wanted it to be as convincing as possible to cause Netto maximum emotional damage, and I'm inclined to say that's part of it, but... he says that his and Rockman's views on friendship are opposites. implying that he does have opinions on the matter, and that his earlier behaviors were based on it.

So, I think it's possible that when he was playing innocent by acting like a friend to Netto, he wasn't. necessarily trying to come across as super eerie??

I mean, think about his plan for a minute. this whole thing banks on him playing the role of Friend well enough for Netto to buy into the idea of a mercy kill - because surely he'd listen more if it really felt like the request was coming from Rockman himself, right? If he acted completely crazy, would Netto even consider that this is something he truly wants?

This guy legit thinks that the only suspicious part of his behavior has been the Literal Crimes he's committed, and that "how could I go against what Netto-kun wants to do" is a normal thing for Rockman to say. Y'know, the guy who's constantly scolding Netto for being irresponsible? That Rockman?? He missed the mark so badly it's almost funny

But it makes sense when you consider that he's probably working under the perspective that Rockman's a "good navi" first and foremost. Netnavis are meant to be helpful programs by design, and a program made to serve doesn't usually ask questions or disobey orders. They just take the most efficient route to complete a task, and even though he deliberately took it too far, everything he did was ultimately for the sake of that efficiency.

Netto wants to get to school faster? Make all the lights green, who cares about the other cars. He needs money for food? Well, there's a bank right there, those have money in them. As illegal and dangerous as his tactics were, you can see how it's something a navi might think to do.

The real Rockman is very good at being a navi, of course. He's polite, patient, always has helpful information to give at the drop of a hat. but Dark Rockman makes you realize just how much more unsettling he would be if he leaned into it too much, and stopped treating himself and Netto like equals.

To summarize - a good navi is different from a good friend, and I love how Dark Rockman exposes the delicate balance that Rockman has to keep up in being both

#megaman #megaman battle network #mmbn #rockman.exe #analysis #meta #dark megaman.exe #dark rockman.exe #dark rockman #dark megaman #I don't know what the agreed upon tags are for this guy so I'm covering my bases

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diminshee · 1 year ago

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" Let us give you the support you deserve. " : Zoro x Transmasc!Reader x Sanji, fluff to smut : threesome, degrading (Zoro), praising (Sanji), fighting over reader

Note — this is my longest one as it counted up to 6,013 words... I hope you lovelies enjoy this one, it's my first time to write a Trans!Reader and please know that i'm not trans so i have tried to put myself in a different POV than mine... i hope it's alright. <3

Sailing through the seas on a small boat was lonesome. It had been a few days and you're hoping to get back to your crew again.

It had been a month and a half after you left the crew for a mission. Of course, they all begged you to stay and even offered you to come with because nakama stays together and fights through everything as a family.

They were stubborn yet supportive—especially your two close friends, Roronoa Zoro and Sanji. You missed them alot and you're hoping to see them again later today.

Some may be wondering where you were on your mission. It wasn't anything dangerous like fighting the marines or whatnot, no, it was something personal about you that changed your identity to one were you're most comfortable with.

You went to Trafalgar Law for your top surgery, it was a success. Although, you had to stay with the doctor and his crew for a whole month and a half to help you with your identity. You voice was a bit different and your breasts were removed in a top surgery—you felt happy and content with yourself ever since then. You were so glad Law helped you and his crew.

However, doubts and thoughts still swirl around your mind like a whirlpool. Your crew didn't know and you're coming back as yourself now. With a shaky sigh, you try to replace your thoughts with postive scenarios.

You know Luffy and the crew well enough to know that they won't judge you, that's the last thing they'd do. They'll welcome you with open arms. You're their nakama. They'll always be there for you and protect you.

You were still a bit skeptical, thinking that Zoro and Sanji will react differently to your new appearance. You've been inseparable ever since you all got together as a crew two years ago. That and even after that on the present as we speak.

Another sigh left your lips. You hope for the best outcome. The sound of the waves took your attention, you look over as your eyes softened.

You thought about the times Sanji would comfort you by pampering you with his undivided attention and cooking you your favorite dishes. He knew what you like, what you dislike and all of that down to your usual cravings. It was as if he had listed down your food pattern and cravings. It was cute and thoughtful of him.

Your train of thoughts soon skimmed over to memories of the swordsman who you hold dear. Zoro was always the one to tease you whenever you two were together without Sanji around. Although he loves to do it with the curlybrow present just to make him jealous. It was a bit funny. Zoro was the one who would keep a close eye on you even during battles. Even with the scar over his eye which permanently closed his left eye, you'd feel both set of his eyes on you. Perhaps it was just a feeling but it was thoughtful of the swordsman to always be at your aid. He'd protect you from any kind of danger, both major to minor and simple situations such as stumbling and tripping over something.

You loved those moments from the cook and swordsman who would always bicker and banter towards eachother whenever they were in eachother's presence.

You're just scared to think of the possibility of losing them and your friendship with the two.

The fear and anxiety still lingers in your heart, however, you began to think of the torture you had dealt with being in a body you weren't comfortable with. It was exhausting but alas, you made it. You're in a body that you're starting to feel comfortable in being your true self.

All those internal battles with your mind was all worth it, you won over them and now you're a version of yourself that you're truly proud and comfortable of. You were happy.

You're free.

Pride and happiness took over in your emotions, it distracted you from your thoughts and insecurities. Although you couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt and slight regret in you.

Were you too selfish? You hid your true self from everyone ever since.

Stuck in a slight trance of doubts and thoughts, you haven't realized that the Thousand Sunny Go was in the distance.

It was until when the waved gently rocked your boat which brought you back to reality. It was successful to stop another battle with your mind considering that your emotions were tangled at the moment. You cranked your head up in the distance, eyes widening. You didn't know how to feel—you were happy yet so nervous.

The time was near.

Sooner or later, you'll be face to face with your crew. With the limited time you have left to yourself, you try to mentally prepare yourself. You're gonna show you to the people who you deeply trust and love.

The boat sailed closer and closer, you were now in a decent distance. You decided to try and sneak up to the ship to perhaps surprise them, however—

"Y/N's here!!" Your captain's voice exclaims ever so loudly. Your eyes widen as you didn't have time to react with Luffy's rubbery arms stretching over the sea and towards your direction. You heard loud voices of surprise and protest as Luffy's arms wrap around your figure and pulling you back to him.

A yelp left your throat as you were roughly pulled against Luffy's chest, the impact successfully causing the both of you to fall back with you ontop of him. A hearty laugh was heard from Luffy as he clinged to you tightly, all while cheering for your return to the crew. The Strawhats all gather around with expressions of excitement, shock, surprise. But they were all cheerful at your return.

Especially Zoro and Sanji. Zoro held a loop-sided grin, crossing his arms over his chest as Sanji happily swooned at your presence. "Y/n-swan! My love!" Spoke Sanji, eyes turning to hearts.

At their voices and reactions, a smile formed on your face. You were so happy to see them again. You missed them so, so much.

"Eh? Y/n? Is it just me or you look different?" Usopp's question nearly broke your cheery mood. Anxiety took over, you began to sweat a little.

Your palms felt a bit sweaty, your throat dried up as everyone's eyes were on you. They were waiting for your response.

It took you a few minutes but you finally mustered up some words to respond. A shaky smile went up to your lips. You were feeling uncomfortable and overwhelmed.

Zoro and Sanji noticed that. They simultaneously gazed at eachother, nodding. It was a silent message.

"I'm... I am a bit different from before." You spoke in a small voice. Despite that anxiety and fear filled your heart, you had to tell them. Even if your mind was choking you with the possibilities of the crew abandoning you. Your lips felt like it was sealed shut but it was now or never.

"Everyone," You began, swallowing down all your fears. You felt their gaze on you, patiently waiting for your next words. You shifted away from Luffy's grasp and stood to your full height, facing the Strawhats.

"I'm not the same person you know before... I may have a different body but i'm a man at heart—i was never a woman." You finally revealed the truth. A few pairs of eyes widened at that (mainly Nami, Usopp, Sanji and Chopper).

"My name is Y/N, i'm a man who has a dream and i will do everything in my will power to achieve that dream!" You exclaimed, heart thumping loudly in your body, making your chest hurt. Some tears swelled up your eyes as you continued.

"I understand that if you don't accept me or think that i'm a freak. I'll leave the crew if you all want me to, i'm finally myself a-and i'm happy!" You bit your lower lip, seeing that you stunned the Strawhats. You turned your head away from their gaze, a tear escaping.

Parting your lips, you were about to speak once more but that was until Luffy's stern voice cut you off. "You're not leaving!" Your captain stated, crossing his arms firmly against his chest. His eyebrows furrowed as he stared at you, his lower lips poking out in a small pout.

Your eyes widened, you snapped your head towards Luffy. "B-But-" You stammered.

You were shocked, stunned and slightly in denial upon hearing Luffy's stern words. He continued to speak in the same tone, some of the Strawhats snickering and chuckling to themselves.

"You're my nakama! No one leaves eachother, we'll stay together until i become the King of the Pirates!" Luffy declared proudly yet sternly, stunning you more. Zoro chuckled and snickered, sending you a smirk.

"Once you're in, you never get out, Y/n." He spoke, a slight tinge of teasing in his tone. Sanji only ever sighed, chuckling softly as he lit up another stick of cigarette, putting it in between his lips before shoving his hands back to his pockets.

"Some of us learned it in the hard way, Y/n-swan." Sanji added to Zoro's words, making Zoro snicker more and elbow Sanji in the stomach which he earned a slight playful glare from the cook.

You were still stunned, your mind barely processing this after all the negativity you've thought. Luffy then placed his Strawhat ontop your head, keeping it there firmly.

"You're staying with us, Y/n! I can't become the pirate king without you!"

You felt a pang in your heart. Your heart swells up with so many emotions, tears now streaming down your cheeks as you gawked at them while they only laughed, some Strawhats cheering at Luffy's words. "Whoever or whatever you are, you're my nakama and you'll always be!"

Jinbei soon laughed cheerfully at the scene, it warmed his heart dearly. "We're happy for you, y/n!"

"AOOWWW, This is such a SUUUUPPEERRR heartwarming moment!" Franky exclaimed, laughing along joyfully as Brook nodded along.

"Brings tears to my eyes! Even if i don't have any eyes, Yohohoho!" He cracked up one of his skull jokes. The ship was filled with laughter and happiness.

They accepted you, they love you.

This caused you to finally break down, you sniffled as tears stream down your eyes. You bit your lip harshly, drawing blood as Luffy declared a feast and a celebration for you.

"Let's have a feast for Y/n!"

"Already on it, captain! Anything for my special y/n-swan's celebration!" Sanji grins cheekily, already rushing off to the kitchen.

You choked out another small sob, still not believing this. Your fears weren't true—it was all lies. A large grin soon reached up to your features, seeing the support from everyone you're receiving. Luffy's strawhat was still placed on your head as the rest of the Strawhats cheered.

They were so happy, They were proud of you.

As everyone talked about the feast after congratulating you, they slowly gathered up in the kitchen. Leaving you with the swordsman. He stayed behind with you for a reason.

Zoro's rough and calloused hand placed itself on your shoulder, giving you a grin. "Y/n.. I missed you, y'know? I could never say this shit with anyone else around." He chuckled, his eye softening as he gave your tearstained cheek a soft caress. It was a simple act but it was intimate.

"I'm proud of you, i'm happy you're comfortable in your own skin." He added, retracting his hand away from you even if he secretly didn't want to.

You smiled a heartfelt smile, looking at Zoro with a soft gaze. "Thank you, Zoro. I'm so glad i didn't lose you." Your words hit Zoro's heart, it gave him a slight flashback of his past. Of Kuina.

He was silent for a few seconds. Slowly, he pulled you in his strong hold, his arms wrapping around you tightly yet gently in a way of not hurting you. "I'm so glad i didn't lose you." You'd hear him whisper.

You gladly return his hug. Zoro smelled like steel and booze but oddly enough, his scent comforted you, knowing that he's there and he always will be. After a few minutes, Zoro pulls away with a small chuckle.

"Enough with the sappy shit, wanna get booze with me?" He offered, hoping to see the words he wanted to hear from you. You laughed softly and nodded at his request. You're used to Zoro and his antics.

"Of course," You agreed which made Zoro's smile widen.

Zoro pulled you to the kitchen of the ship where the other Strawhats were. They were all celebrating and cheering happily.

The day was filled with happiness and laughter. It was your day. This will be a memory you certainly won't forget. You love the crew, and they love you as much as you love them.

But it was a different case for Zoro and Sanji.

As the eventful day continued, the dawn of night was soon born. Everything was calm on the ship, it now currently night and the Strawhats grew tired from such an eventful day. You were happy, you were in content.

Some of the Strawhats already went to sleep as you prepare for your own. The boys already moved in your stuff in the Boys' cabin which made you feel more accepted by their thoughtful gesture. You stepped in the cabin, seeing the rest already asleep. A small smile crept your lips as you snuggled yourself in your own bunk bed.

Even if it was night, you couldn't sleep. Perhaps it was because of Luffy's loud snoring filling the room but it was different. You slowly let go, letting some thoughts flood your mind which drowned out the sound of Luffy's snores.

There it was again, the feeling of slight guilt and regret filling your heart. You're accepted by the crew and you genuinely feel happy, so why were these thoughts coming back?

You blankly stared up at the ceiling, a small frown dawning your lips as you took in the negativity once more. You shook your head, cussing at yourself under your breath for ruining your own mood with your carelessness. It wasn't long until you shifted up, hopping off your bed and exiting the room.

Your exit didn't go unnoticed, however.

Zoro woke up before and was resting in his bed before you came in earlier on. He stayed silent when you entered the room and exited a few minutes later. He felt your mood sour and so, he sat up and planned on following you.

"Fuck-" Zoro suddenly cussed, accidentally bumping his head on the bottom of the wooden bunk bed that he was under.

"What the hell...?" Sanji was on the bed bunk ontop of Zoro, the small bump successfully waking up the cook. Sanji looked down on Zoro, scowling. "Marimo, let me get some damn rest, will ya?"

At that, Zoro scoffed and rolled his eye. He didn't care for Sanji, however, his main priority is you. "Yea yea, quit nagging like a old hag, curly." Zoro spat back, hopping off his own bed as Sanji irked an eyebrow at the swordsman.

"where are you going?"

Zoro only then glared at Sanji.

"None your damn business."

"Oi... If you two are gonna fight, do it outside. Some of us are trying to sleep." Usopp groggily complained which shut Zoro and Sanji up. They glared at eachother momentarily before scurrying off and exciting the cabin.

While this was happening, You were currently in the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water with those thoughts in your head.

It was haunting you, the thoughts and the feeling of regret and guilt still linger. You unconsciously gulped down on the water, even after that your throat still felt dry. You couldn't help but feel like something was missing in your life. With the thoughts still overwhelming you, it made you curl up in a ball on the kitchen floor.

You tucked your legs to yourself, heart feeling heavy as your mind suffocated you with more thoughts. The feeling of selfishness and guilt still taking a hold of you. It was all so overwhelming that it was making you hard to breath in and out. Your mind began to spin, your eyes slowly went wide.

You were about to have a panic attack.

A whine left your throat, your vision getting blurry. You wanted to call for help but you couldn't move or say anything—you were stuck. It felt like you were gonna pass out. Your head ached, it hurts.

Closing your eyes tightly, you were just about to pass out until you heard two voice call out in surprise and slight panic.

"Y/n!" Zoro and Sanji calls out as they walk in on you in the midst of your breakdown.

Snapping your eyes open, you look at the two with slight dread and desperation. You couldn't speak, it was getting too hard to breath and think of anything else.

Sanji furrowed his eyebrows worriedly, pulling you in a hug. His touch was gentle and soft, it was comforting—it was just what you needed. He leaned down and began to whisper sweet nothings near your ear, his hand caressing your back in a loving and comforting manner to show that they were there for you, always. They won't leave, they'll stay.

"Y/n, listen to me. Focus on what i say, okay?" Sanji spoke, still holding you. It took all of you to listen to his words carefully, nodding. Your attention was now fixated on him. "It's gonna be okay, i'm- we are here for you. Don't focus on anything else but me for now, okay?" He cooed softly, still holding you as Zoro watched the scene with a worried yet concerned expression.

Seeing that you were trying your best and that you had your attention on every word he had to say, he held you tighter. "Good, good boy." Sanji mutters softly, smiling slightly as your breathing slowly steadied its pace with the help of his words.

"S-Sanji-" You finally found your voice. You looked up at Sanji, clinging onto him as if he'll disappear. "Take it easy, my love. Find your pace." Sanji reassures softly, still holding you in a comforting embrace.

Zoro spoke up, scooting closer to your curled up form in Sanji's arms. "Calm down, y/n. It's gonna be okay, we're still here. We ain't leaving no matter what, okay?" He whispered, audible enough for you and Sanji to hear as your gasps filled the kitchen, echoing slightly as it bounced off the walls.

Zoro and Sanji listened to you, words of reassurance and comfort putting you to ease.

"I-I'm sorry, i was being too selfish- I've hid myself from you guys for so long, i didn't tell you- I'm so, so sorry." You confess, afraid that they hate you for not telling them something so important. You felt like you betrayed them.

"You're not selfish, y/n." Sanji stated, him and the swordsman sharing a knowing look as he did so.

"The cook's right. You aren't selfish for finding out who you are and taking your time on coming out with it." Zoro nodded as he voiced out the truth. "If anything, you should be damn proud of it. You're never too selfish, y/n. You're a strong man and i'm glad that you're still here."

Sanji soon smiled, still holding you lovingly as he caressed your hair. "we're proud of you for who you are."

You let out a choked gasp. "B-But i'm not a woman. Don't you think that i'm a freak?" Desperation filled your voice, looking up at the men with tears in your eyes.

"Man or woman, we don't care. We still love you because you're y/n. You're yourself and we're so happy to have you." Sanji smiled. "We appreciate you, darling. I... I still love you."

"Took the words out of my mouth, shit cook." Zoro chuckled a bit with a slight smirk. He then turned to you, taking his turn. "Y/n, you could be anyone and anything you want and we'd still love you. Why? we don't know ourselves but we still want to keep you around, that's for sure." At his choice of words, Sanji kicked him a bit with a scoff.

"What the damn mosshead is trying to say is... No matter what or who you are, we'd still love you no matter what the cost is. Because we love you, y/n. We fell for you."

You slowly took in their words little by little, processing them. After you took your time, you sniffled softly, your breathing now steady and calm but you were still a bit shaken up. "You... You guys really mean it? You love me?"

"My love, we mean it. Every single word of it."

"We love you, y/n. We're always here for you."

Their words brought tears to your eyes, you let a smile break out and display on your features. Sanji then cupped your cheek with his hand, his touch warm and comforting. You unconsciously leaned towards his touch as he caressed your cheek.

It was a subtle action but it showed his undying love and affection for you. You'd hear him whisper, slowly leaning towards you.

"Sweetheart, let us give the support you deserve." He then paused, his hand moving to cup your chin. "May i...?"

It took you a moment to process his words. Without much word, you nodded as Sanji didn't waste his time to press his lips against yours. His kiss was soft and gentle, it was loving. It was a small action that showed his love to you. He held you firmly, his eye slowly fluttering shut as he continued to kiss you.

He had been dreaming about this for so, so long. He still longed more of your touch and attention ever since you came from earkier today after for a whole month and a half. Sanji didn't put up with it well ever since your absence of the crew, he kept getting into banters with Zoro more often ever since. Between him and Zoro, it was always a competition for your love and affection and he was so glad he's taking the first step with you.

Oh, But he was aware that Zoro will follow up. He's making it last while he can.

Sanji gently squeezed your hip, causing you to gasp and part your lips, giving him an advantage and he took it. He slipped his tounge and began to explore the spots his tounge could reach and caress. It wasn't long until his tounge danced with yours, his breath getting shaky and hot as it fans over your face softly as the kiss intensifies.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, cook." A deep voice in a slight growl called out. The swordsman glared at the cook before tugging you to his hard chest and away from Sanji's grasp. "You're not the only one who misses him." Zoro stated before pressing his own lips on yours, his tounge darting in and taking what he could. Sanji was annoyed, he frowned and furrowed his eyebrow.

"Don't be too greedy, shit marimo." He huffed as Zoro only ever continued to make out with you infront of Sanji just like he just did seconds ago.

Your lips quivered as both of the men practically fought over you. You didn't things to turn out in this way but you weren't complaining.

You'd had to admit, you feel a bit flattered being fought over. You were lost in a small trance as Zoro began to slip off the top of his robe, exposing his hard body which is eye candy to you. Zoro soon pulls away with a small string of saliva connecting your lips to his. He licked his lips as he smirked cheekily, having caught of your gaze on his body.

"Looks like i got the pretty boy's eye." His words of tease sent shivers down your spine. His rough hands sliding down to your sides in a up and down motion. It was sensual and it made a few shaky breaths leave your lips.

As you faced Zoro, you were unaware as Sanji leaned over and began to prep kisses on your neck, enlighting a moan from you which made him smirk against your skin.

Blood rushed to your face as you shivered and trembled. Sanji pressed his body against yours from behind, his hips grinding into you with the feeling of his growing erection obvious against your skin. A low moan left Sanji's lips as he continued this action. "Oh, Y/n... you're so tempting like this." He'd whisper with another low moan as the cook grinded against you in a desperate mannerism.

"curlybrow is that desperate?" Zoro teased, grinning mischievously as his hands moved under your shirt. You were turning like putty in their hands. Sanji scoffed softly, nibbling on the skin of your neck before licking the bruise that formed on the spot. "You're just as desperate as i am, shitty swordsman."

"Heh, you're not wrong. Who wouldn't get desperate to see a pretty boy be so shy? Bet he's ready to take both of us." Zoro licked his lips, leaning down to nibble on your ear.

You were now squished in between both men, helpless and now under their mercy. You were slowly turning into a mess and they haven't gotten that far yet.

You were just too irresistible to them.

"Say, curly." Zoro calls out, eyeing Sanji with both of them hands still on you. The cook irked an eyebrow as looked at the swordsman with a slight look of annoyance. "What?"

"What if we call it a truce...? Just this once, for him." Zoro offered, making Sanji think in thought. A sigh left Sanji as he nodded reluctantly. "Mh.. Only for my love. I'd do anything and everything to see him in such ecstasy and pleasure, even if it meant having you around." Sanji spoke, lips latching back to the neck of your skin which made you whimper. You're getting sensitive just from their actions.

"Enough with the competing... *for now*. Let's make him feel so fucking good." Zoro smirked and chuckled, stripping you out of your shirt which showed your transition scars. He admired them, his hands slowly reaching to trace your scars before teasing your nipples as they harden at his touch.

"You're so damn hot." The swordsman would mutter, claiming your lips once more. Without hesitation, you kissed back with small moans and whimpers leaving your lips and into the kiss, making Zoro growl slightly at the pleasurable vibration.

As the two of you made out, Sanji took the advantage to strip the remaining of your clothes, your pants soon pooling down around your feet on the kitchen floor as he undid them.

You felt his breath hitch at the sight of your nude body. It was so tempting, so hot. Sanji soon began to unbutton his dress shirt, his belt unbuckling next after he did so. "Oh, my darling y/n." He began, nibbling on your neck more as you made out with the swordsman. You felt a surge of desperation and desire to be in such a situation, being all nude and needy for both men.

"I can't wait to feel you..." Sanji's words made you tremble. Your kind felt dizzy and light headed. You cut the kiss short, panting heavily as Zoro drank in the sight of you in such a state.

"Look at you," Zoro groaned. "You want us both, don't you? Such a manwhore." Those words made you weak to the knees.

"I-I need it... Please." You pleaded lightly, whimpering softly. This reaction gave Zoro a surge of arousal and desire, he smirked as he took in your desperate, pleading words.

"Need what?" Zoro teased.

"You need to speak up for us, mon amour. What do you need? Use that attractive voice of yours.." Sanji's tone was teasing aswell but his was more softer, more tender and sensual.

"I-Inside.. I need you t-to fuck me, please." You pleaded once more, using your voice as asked.

"Now that's a good boy." Zoro hummed in satisfaction, dropping down his robe and his pants. He gave you a knowing wink, smirking lightly. You were now in between two nearly naked men, their erections hard and pulsing. You gulped a bit, preparing to what was about to come.

"On all fours, now." Zoro commanded. With a submissive nod along with a shiver of pleasure ran down your spine, you went on your hands and knees. Sanji licked his lips, moving to get on his knees infront of you. His hand reached down to part your lips open with his thumb. He let out a soft groan at he saw the way you look up at him.

"Y/n..." He muttered softly, letting his pulsing cock free from his boxers. It throbbed with need for attention as the tip gently poked your lips. Without much word, your tounge slip out, running up to Sanji's length to the very tip. His breath hitches as you licked the slit with some pre-cum already leaking.

"Yes, yes, my love.. Just like that." Sanji moaned softly, praising and encouraging you as you took your time before you took him in your mouth. He threw his head back, his lips parting ever so slightly. His hand went to place itself on your head, gently caressing your hair.

"So warm..." Sanji moaned out as you slowly bobbed your head on his hardened cock, it throbbing inside your mouth. He covered his mouth, looking back down at you with some blood dripping down his chin from his nose. "You're doing so good, y/n-swan..~" He praised softly in a small moan, moving his hips slightly.

"Dartbrow is already having his fun, don't mind if i do." Zoro muses, grinning as he took the position from your behind. He got to his knees, freeing his throbbing length from his boxers.

His hands went to your ass, spreading them to take a better look at your tempting and needy entrance. He grinned, teasing you by rubbing his hard tip to your hole, making you flinch slightly and trembled as you move your hips in an attempt to pull him in.

You couldn't move you head to look at the swordsman, you were busy with Sanji using your mouth. You couldn't see as Zoro spat on your entrance. He teasingly rubbed his length on you, groaning lowly as he watched your ass engulfed his thick length. With his saliva acting as a poor excuse of lube, he pushed in, slowly but surely.

"Fuck, now this is the good stuff." He groaned out, moving his grip to your hips to keep you steady as he sheathes himself inside you. Moans left your throat and onto Sanji's dick, the vibrations sent addictive sensations to Sanji as he moaned and gripped on your hair, tugging on it gently.

Both of the men were now inside you. Sanji thrusted his hips lightly, his breathing shaky and hot. He looked down at you with flushed cheeks, nose still dripping with blood as he engraved the view of you taking in his needy cock into your warm, heavenly mouth. He bit his lips, loving the feeling of your lips wrapped around him as you suck him off, your moans giving him pleasureable vibrations.

Zoro took his sweet time with you, he was mesmerized at the sight of you taking in his cock, he felt your tightness around him stretch to his size. Another groan leaft his throat as he slowly thrusted in and out, finding his slow but rough pace. "Such a good whore for taking me all in." Zoro grinned, giving your ass a squeeze.

Doesn't it feel good to be in between two men who want you? It's even more flattering to now realize that they're fighting over you. You were loved by the cook and the swordsman and it showed.

Tears of pleasure gathered in your eyes as Sanji pushed himself deeper, his tip slowly reaching down to your throat. That and Zoro's rough pace was all too much to bear. Your body couldn't take it well but oh it did.

"Fuck, y/n... you're so good, my love." Sanji praised, a string of praises mixed with moans leaving his lips as he guided your head to his cock, successfully deep throating him. "You're so attractive, keep looking at me like that, please." He choked out, his breath going faster as he took in every single if your sweet expressions as you took him in your mouth all while sending pleasureable vibrations to his pulsing cock.

Zoro growled as his thrusts picked up the speed, his tip hitting your g-spot each time to which made you arch your back.

Fuck, it was all too good.

The sounds of skin slapping, grunts and moans bounced off the kitchen's walls. Both Zoro and Sanji's thrusts getting sloppy and desperate.

"You're mine, y/n." Zoro groaned out possesively, his grip on your hips tightening as he gave your ass a smack, his eye watching intently as your skin rippled against each impact he did on you. Sanji couldn't even glare at the swordsman properly, his hips still thrusting into your warm mouth.

"He's ours." Sanji corrected with a shaky huff, his eye focusing on you and only you. Zoro couldn't even care less at Sanji's words, he was too focused on his own pace.

It wasn't long until the both of them were reaching their peak, seeing how their thrusts were getting so sloppy and desperate. You even felt them twitch inside you.

With Sanji's cock stuffed inside your mouth along with Zoro fucking the hell out of you from behind, it was clear that you were theirs.

"Shit, it's too good." Zoro cussed out, groaning as he threw his head back, his thrusts still steady and rough as it penetrated you.

You were too busy taking all the pleasure in. Saliva slowly leaked out from your lips and it dribbled down yo your chin, adding more arousal for Sanji.

"Y/n! I-I'm-!" Sanji couldn't even finish his words, he gave in a few last, sloppy thrusts as he stuffed your mouth with his warm semen. The liquid forced itself down into your throat as you took it all in.

The swordsman himself wasn't far behind, he gave one last powerful thrust before filling you up to the brim with his seed. A loud groan echoed though the kitchen as it came from the cook and the swordsman's throats. Zoro panted heavily, his voice raspy as he rode out his high.

You yourself didn't even realize that you already reached your peak multiple times, the pleasure was all too much for you but fuck it felt so, so good. Both Zoro and Sanji pulled out of you, causing your body to collapse on the kitchen floor tiles, the cold tiles caressing your skin. You coughed a bit, panting heavily as the both of then admired their work on you.

You were stuffed, filled to the brim with their cum. Some already leaking from your asshole and your lips. Zoro chuckled slightly, his cock still throbbing.

"What a sight." The swordsman muses lightly. "So... Y/n, will you let us have our way with you again? There's more to come." Zoro added with a mischievous smirk. Sanji groaned softly and quietly, wanting more.

"Let us take care of you."

#one piece #one piece smut #one piece x reader #x reader #sanji smut #one piece fluff #vinsmoke sanji #one piece fanfiction #zoro roronoa x reader #roronoa zoro #zoro x reader x sanji

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that-darn-clown · 6 months ago

Note

i asked myself "should i make a self insert for myself in the Rewrite? like not even a canon lil dude, just for fun?"

the answer was "Yes," obviously.

so now, prepare yourself for:

Dahlia/Damian "Dandy" Meadows (< swapped to a more masc sounding name later in the timeline)

so. some basic facts:

27 in 1982, 28 in 1983, 30 in 1985. birthday is the same as mine: September 13th.

a bit younger than Henry and Will.

is effectively the third business partner, represented by....Sparky the Dog!! (yep, Sparky's here! he's not entirely canon in the actual Rewrite: he was an idea for an additional springlock suit, but was scrapped early on in the planning phase. Henry still has the blueprints, though)

goofy but anxious and awkward guy. doesn't mean he doesn't have a bite to him.

mayhaps has a slight crush on Henry...don't mind the fact she's married-

speaking of...well, it's a sad situation, their marriage to their husband at the time. had a child young, just when it was 17 years old. got married to the father of the child the next year. it was never a...happy marriage, however. it was clear that one (major) misstep was all that would be needed to end in either abandonment or divorce on the husband's end. (< not foreshadowing at all don't you worry :))

the child? well, she named them Fern at first, but they like going by Theo(dore) better :]

so y'know. everything's going well...

until-

1982:

when Liz died, Dandy was there for William as much as xe could've been. this pretty much got xeir husband accusing xem of cheating on him with Afton (xe was very much Not doing that).

then Charlie dies. process repeats with Henry. now her husband's accusing her of having an affair with two men. reminder that while Rewrite!Dandy does have feelings for Henry, for obvious reasons, she didn't act on those feelings for a while.

MCI happens, and even Dandy is suspected. listen, if Dandy ever commits a murder, for one, it'll most likely be because he was pushed into it/snapping. (< more Definitely Not foreshadowing :)) two, it'd be incredibly obvious.

all in all, not a good year :/ also for Theo, who lost his friend (Charlie).

1983:

shit gets worse.

Theo attempted to stop Alex from bullying Cassidy, but it didn't work. they still blame themself for it.

when Cassidy dies, Dandy is back trying to comfort William. funny, though, how there never seemed to be a confirmed cause of death for the kid, and how insistent William was on burying him in the woods...

and yes before you ask, their husband is back to accusing them of having an affair. (not like he ever really stopped, though-)

1985:

The Year Everything Goes Wrong For Dandy (and Theo) Specifically™

it's March, just a couple of months before the bodies will finally be found. Theo had turned 13 just a couple of weeks prior to this.

Dandy was keeping an eye on their child that Saturday. doing work at Freddy's. but, of course, Theo's not a little kid anymore. they can take care of themself. so when Theo wanders off, Dandy doesn't say anything.

Theo runs into William (who he's gotten bad feelings about ever since Charlie's murder), and William goes "hey kid uh wanna see something cool 🙂 just wanna show you something pinky promise🙂"

and...well, as shady as this motherfucker had gotten in Theo's eyes, he was a family friend. What Could Go Wrong??

turns out, William Wasn't Content With Just Killing The Kid Of One Of His Business Partners!

he had strangled Theo using some old wires, a few of which dug into his neck and caused a few cuts. William's not sure which killed him first: the asphyxiation, or potentially choking on his own blood.

he hid their body inside of the Sparky suit, just until he could move it without being noticed later that night.

Dandy Has The Exact Reaction To Discovering Its Child Was Missing You'd Think It Would.

to make matters worse, upon finally getting home that evening (after having multiple breakdowns and panic attacks over all of this mind you), xeir husband pretty much blames all of this on xem. because xe wasn't watching Theo. if xe had been watching, maybe Theo would still be here. if xe had been a good parent, Theo would still be here. after a lengthy argument about this (which was mostly xeir husband yelling at xem and blaming xem for this all happening), xeir husband storms out. xe gets mailed divorce papers the next morning.

oh but you wanna know the fucked up thing William did while hiding Theo's body?? you wanna know??? well i'll tell you! since this all happens during William's Very Fucked Up Era (1985-1993), William does, as you can guess, a Fucked Up Thing! he buries Theo's body in Dandy's backyard. specifically in the empty flowerbed back there. Dandy's baby has been laying in their backyard this whole time. (well...the body, at least...)

The Rest of the Story/The Aftermath:

Hello William. Henry's Extra Suspicious Of You Now.

both William and Henry go to comfort Dandy but. y'know. Henry's Comfort Is Obviously More Genuine.

after Henry leaves post-Body Discovery (do you think Dandy waited, with a glimmer of hope, that their baby would be found. that they'd get closure with the other parents. do you think that hope disappears. do you think they envy the families that get to bury their children), Dandy still stays behind with William to run the business. Dandy's not where the Questionable Business Decisions come from, though: that's still Will and the guy that he gets to take Henry's place specifically.

Dandy sorta changes his legal first name to Damian at around this time, as well as started getting more masc at around this point in general (good for him).

Dandy to William in 1987: You think a depressed/grieving person could make this?! (very detailed sketchbook pages of "Toy Sparky," as well as doodles of Theo that state "My very alive child that isn't dead enjoying the restaurant 😊")

so...here's the thing about me and shipping characters is that my reasoning for it falls into one of three categories: 1) I Ship It 'Cause It's Canon, 2) I Ship It For Personal Enjoyment Reasons (i think it'd be fun to explore, crackship, i think they fit rather well together, etc.), and 3) I Ship It For Psychological Horror Reasons (listen. sometimes i see ships where either one or both parties won't be happy in the relationship to me, and i decide Y'know What. I'm Gonna Put These Two Together For Angst Reasons)

all of this to say, I Ship Rewrite!William And Rewrite!Dandy Together For Psychological Horror Reasons :)

i don't think i need to explain the Psychological Horror part. like. i think it's pretty obvious.

the thing is that Dandy and Henry are also...A Thing. William's aware of that but doesn't give too much of a fuck. it's like a weird love triangle but Not.

Henry doesn't get mad about it either, surprisingly. why would he get mad at someone when they don't know?

of course the relationships are...very different. William and Dandy are more like...it's clear that this was a relationship where, in any other circumstance, it shouldn't last this long because the foundation's as stable as a house of cards. were this not a relationship born out of Dandy's Pure Mental Instability and William desperately trying to keep the Jenga Block tower from collapsing on top of him specifically, it probably would've lasted like a week. with Henry, however...that foundation was there. he and Dandy have more genuine feels for each other. you get what i'm saying??

Dandy also [REDACTED] with both Will and Henry, just at different points in the timeline.

this goes on, William gets springlocked, you get the gist.

It Is 2005. Henry Decides Now Is A Good Time To Tell Dandy About The Bullshit.

Dandy Takes This As Well As You'd Imagine.

now...how Dandy's story ends, i haven't thought it through yet. in a better path, Henry decides to let Dandy beat the fuck out of Scraptrap with a pipe, but doesn't tell her about the fire, she continues living. maybe adopts a kid later on too once she starts putting her life back together. bad ending is she isn't really told about a lot but finds out anyway, and then dies in the fire while beating the fuck out of Scraptrap (after Will killed Henry) with a pipe. bonus thing after the bad ending: he becomes the antithesis of Malhare, being a protector of sorts.

now...as for Theo: VENGEFUL SPIRIT 2, BABYYY!!!

yeah...Theo's not too happy about the whole...Being Murdered Thing. but i'll discuss Theo more in another ask. poor kid :( all you need to know for now is that they're sort of the more...terrifying Vengeful Spirit.

and finally, have a meme:

Theo to William as a ghost: DID YOU FUCK MY MOM, AFTON?!

I don't think polyamory will help this situation, in fact I think it will make it worse. That being said I think they should give it a shot anyways

#the clown! it speaks!#dandy i am so incredibly normal about this. im gonna vomit this is my favorite thing ever

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branmuffins22 · 9 months ago

Note

13, 26, 35, 39, 44 from this ask game

Ooo, that's a lotta questions!

13. Do you outline your fics? How much of a headache would someone get if they just looked at an outline of yours without reading the fic?

The short answer? NOT EXACTLY BUT I REALLY REALLY SHOULD

The longer answer?

Technically, I have almost every major plot point written down in some form or another before I write a thing. That said, they usually aren't in any sensible order, and are buried in a mess of a channel in my private discord server, where ALL my brainrot goes.

When I write, I mostly just pick a starting point from one of my notes, and walk it forward from there. I tried properly outlining for one of my fics, and it got me... somewhere, but for the most part, my brain just doesn't work that way. An outline becomes a task list, and I can't stand task lists.

My current system is kinda horrid, but I'd be more worried about someone getting bored sifting through all my scattered notes than getting a headache from them.

26. What’s your biggest distraction when writing?

That one's... probably a tossup between a lot of things. Bodily needs, background streamers mentioning something I actually have an opinion on, my mother barging in with shame and deadlines for cyclical tasks (man, I need out of this house), my twin having something funny to show me... basically just ~Life~, lmao.

I guess part of the problem with my current life situation is that I don't have a lot of time that's truly, unequivocally my own, so I get pushed and pulled around by whatever or whoever calls my attention loudest.

...Or maybe that's just the adhd talking.

35. How much has writing fic changed your life?

SIGNIFICANTLY.

Now, I've been known to struggle with feelings of situational/emotional permanence, so I could be a little biased by the fact that it's my current biggest hobby, but at this point, around half of my social life happens in fandom/fanfiction circles, which wasn't the case a year or two ago.

Two years ago, I didn't read for fun. Like, full stop. I only started doing that after Thanks to Them released, when the hiatus brainrot got me seeking content and community from more than just the show itself and the friend who got me into it. I think the very first fanfic I read was a oneshot someone cross-posted to tumblr, which somehow convinced me to join both tumblr (technically rejoin tumblr) and Ao3 around the same time. Well. maybe a month or so apart, because of the weird account-creation queue thing Ao3 has goin' on. But still.

I don't think I started to consider writing my own fanfiction until I read A Blight on Bonesborough, by GeminiAlchemist, and got a bunch of ideas from the way they expanded upon the lore and magic system and characters and all that of the Owl House.

From there, it kinda took over my life completely, lmao.

I wanted to write about Luz's experiments with glyphs, and some potential avenues of missed opportunity brought to my attention by The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled, by IdeaHunter, and that eventually turned into the Artificer|Overthinker AU (to this day i still haven't picked the name).

Later, I wanted a story about Luz experiencing human high school again after all the dust settled, and after reading a fun fic whose premise was great but whose execution didn't quite scratch the itch (Luz Noceda and the mysterious case of her imaginary girlfriend, by Imkindagayyk), that slowly evolved into Masha and the Very Normal Nocedas (which I actually started writing over a year ago, and still haven't gotten to a postable state with even a single chapter, lmao).

Ever since, I've pretty much been rotating some fic idea or another in my head 24/7.

Nowadays, I wake up and check ao3 for fic updates/new fics, I read while I cook and eat breakfast, I browse tumblr for new stuff from my faves and mutuals, I check ao3 again every few hours, sometimes (but not often) I find the motivation and such to actually write, and I kinda keep up like that all day.

It's maybe a little excessive/obsessive/destructive/etc, but fanfiction kinda defines all the intentional parts of my life right now.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

Voice and gimmicks.

The most prominent examples I can think of are the various literary tropes I try to imbue certain characters and such with. I usually write in 3rd-person limited perspective, so the characters' voices influence not just the way I write their dialog, but the way I write entire scenes.

There aren't any good examples of it in either of the fics I've actually posted so far, so you'll kinda just have to trust me on this, but a great example is the way I establish the POV character of a given scene.

It's easier for some characters than others, and I haven't come up with a gimmick for every character yet, but I try to open each scene with a literary trope that emphasizes some aspect of the POV character's voice.

For example, scenes written from Luz's point of view always start with speech, either hers or directed at her. Luz is a rambunctious, chatty, and kinda awkward character, who tends to exert herself on every situation she comes across, so I figure an unconventional (and arguably obnoxious, according to some people) opener works great for her.

Hunter is an outwardly-cocky character with some deep-seated self-worth problems (and a very slanted worldview besides), so his scenes always start with a self-affirmation of some kind, usually followed by a contradiction. Often, he's either intentionally or subconsciously trying to convince himself of something, or to do whatever it is he's about to be doing in the scene.

Vee is a bit of a special case. Like Luz, her scenes start in media res, but she tends to borrow the gimmicks of characters around her. She's a shapeshifter, and learned about life in the outside world as a doppelganger, so she has a tendency for mimicry, intentional or not. She also has a secondary gimmick, one that's a bit more her own, in that narration about her often finds itself filled with alliteration, especially involving the letter S (since she's sort of a snake, and snakes hisssss (and doing it with the letter V was too hard lmao)). It started as a running gag she played on Masha in MatVNN, but then I couldn't stop using it, so it's kinda everywhere now.

Masha is a superstitious (though slightly apathetic) character with a keen eye (and no attention span with which to wield it). They tend to seek out meaning even where there isn't any, and thus often completely miss the broader details in favor of the little things. Their scenes start with an isolated excerpt, usually a tarot reading. In an ideal world, the readings would foreshadow both the events of the scene and at least one of the ways they've misinterpreted them, but unfortunately, I haven't yet actually learned enough tarot to do that. It's a big part of why Masha and the Very Normal Nocedas is taking so long to get to a postable state 😅.

That's pretty much all the opening gimmicks I've worked out so far, but another one I'd like to mention has to do with the way magic is written.

Whenever a spell is cast, I whip out my thesaurus and try to sprinkle in a few words nearby that relate to the kind of spell being cast. For instance, I might say that when Willow casts a wall of vines, she first "plants her feet on the ground", or "stifles her budding anger". Before Luz casts an invisibility spell, she might think about "hiding the cards she was dealt" or maybe "her hands disappear into her pockets". Stuff like that.

The way I imagine it, magic taps straight into the caster's homonculus (broadly, the part of their brain that decides and understands what encompasses "the body") in such a way that the caster becomes part of the spell just as much as the spell becomes part of the caster.

Luz in particular, having the knack for magic that she does, tends to start this process of "becoming the spell" as soon as she decides to cast it, not just at the moment she actually casts it. It's like working yourself into the headspace of a thing, before sitting down and doing it. I've got a whole huge segment in one of my more dramatic fics that's basically an entire page of this kind of thing, with Luz preparing to cast a really big spell (or, well. technically a pair of big spells (TECHNICALLY technicaly it's one normal spell being used to prepare to cast the two massive spells. it's a whole thing)). It honestly might be the highlight of my writing portfolio, which is a huge shame because it's a MASSIVE spoiler.

Anyways, uhhh yeah. I really like gimmicks.

44. Rant about something writing related.

WELL SHITDAMNFUCK, IF ONLY I READ ALL THESE QUESTIONS AHEAD OF TIME! I COULD'VE SPARED SOME OF THOSE PRIOR RANTS FOR HERE!

Well. Guess I aughtta find something else to write about.

How about the ultimate enemy, the scourge of our people, the cornerstone of suffering itself, the dreaded and feared, the great and terrible:

Writer's Block.

It may come as a surprise to the ignorant among us (hehe, amogus), but I, too, suffer from Writer's Block from time to time! In fact, I'm even suffering from it right now! And I have been for the past... oh goodness, over 2 months now.

I had one good day of writing, in all that time, which only came about because I nearly fell asleep in the tub. I somehow daydreamed my way into a really good turn of phrase that I just HAD to put into context for Backlight and Bitrot.

So far, that singular scene, set (the equivalent of) several seasons into the story, remains both the only thing I've written for that fic, and the only thing I've written at all since January.

It's infuriating! I have all these ideas, all these things I WANT to write, all these people I want to share these ideas with, all this time, all this passion, all this brainrot, and yet I Just! Can't! Write!

AUGH!

It would be one thing if I'd simply run out of ideas; I could call this whole thing something pretty like a "dreaming phase" or a "break in order to recharge" or whatever. But I've been dreaming for ages! This break has been in no way relieving! I'm just wallowing in my inability to do the things i love, while the world moves on around me!

You've had an excellent way of phrasing this for yourself, recently: "The executives are on vacation."

It's not some pleasure cruise for me! Those darn jerks (basic brain functions) who dictate every little thing that goes on around here just fucked off to who-knows-where! Completely blind to the consequences (stagnation, suffering, shame) of their absence, and how those affect their employees (me)! I just work here, man! Lemme do my job! I wanna do my job, but I can't if you don't let me! Ugh.

I want to write so goddamn bad. I've got all these projects to write for, all these brainrot spores to spread. I've got so much I want to accomplish, and yet my dumb bitch brain can't seem to get the memo. Work phone is powered off, I suppose.

It's gotten to the point lately that even those random notes to myself have slowed down. I'm having less new ideas than before. I'm picking old ideas out and polishing them less than before.

I'm worried I might end up having to find a way to cater my writing to the dumb mammal part of my brain somehow, in order to bring some momentum back. Write about something crude and easy and filled with every instantly-gratifying fantasy I can imagine.

No more of this 'careful thought' and 'consideration for themes' junk, we want it LOUD and we want it NOW.

Ugh.

Writer's Block is the worst.

What a bummer to end on. Oh well, I'm gettin' kinda sleepy, and I'm out of questions anyways. Thanks for the ask!

#ask games #thanks for the ask!

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itsblorbotime · 2 years ago

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THEY EAT PEOPLE?????????????? like okay did we ever. get confirmation of this from previous expacs that "beastmen" EAT PEOPLE?? bc uhhhh THAT SLIGHTLY AFFECTS THE POLITICAL SITUATION THERE DOESN'T IT??? like if the sahagin are fucking chowing down on PEOPLE and not just defending their territory from invaders?? this has gotta be retconned right????

anyway,

christ if this were endwalker this would have been one of those god-awful "follow the npc and don't be seen, teehee!" quests that they're clearly so proud to have coded but that absolutely fucking suck. fuck all iterations of escort quest from ew

oh here's our first glimpse of fordola's fuckin sourpuss

meffird is really pretty lol idk if this is just some Crime i have installed, possibly the eyebrows? highlanders don't usually have them right?

theeeeeeere she goes. you know, i'm starting to suspect people judge lyse based on where she /begins/ her character development and not where she ends.

It's Heem :) let's Hear It For The Boy :)

see i missed this detail the first time i played -- that this is the /ala mhigan/ national anthem that garlemald has taken and changed the lyrics to be about themselves. fuckt up!!!

also p sure this is our first actual look at zenos?

... welp

why is fordola the only one who doesn't wear pants LMAO

oops, sidequest time! one /super annoying thing/ about ng+ is that you can't have more than one active quest at a time, so when the game requires you to do a bunch of simultaneous quests to advance the msq, you have to do them one by one.

anyway, thinking about how zenos is out there being an absolute freak while valentine, his greatest rival, is out here in ala mhigo as a healer, being very gentle and beloved... zenos has nooooo idea he's about to meet someone who is going to rewire his entire fucking brain to the point of singular obsession... just running around a resistance camp, doing errands, fetching things...

idk i like the imagery of the other scions doing whatever and out of the corner of their eye there's the wol, trotting about the camp, gathering herbs, writing things down in a notebook, talking to recruits...

nooooooooooo :( pretty boy :(

zenos' golf bag full of katanas has always been funny

lol it was almost lyse. lol. lol

IMAGINE IF THEY HAD KILLED Y'SHTOLA HERE. LIKE. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD. they keep fake killing her and it's annoying but also like, if they had just let ANY major character die IMMEDIATELY to zenos, god... instead it was all minor npcs we had like, /just met/ lol

amiajoketoyou.png

the attack on rhalgr's reach happening so quickly into the expac (we haven't even seen the first dungeon yet...!) is imo a good story beat in terms of quickly establishing stakes. also i do like the solo duty here, especially on ng+ very easy where valentine arrives at the camp and just IMMEDIATELY lays waste to scores of imperial soldiers. i think this is the first time a lot of these resistance members have seen the wol fight and imagine you just see them run into camp and cut down entire units of imperial soldiers, turning the tide (seemingly) of the battle...

... until zenos turns up.

i do like this solo duty. i remember doing it for the first time when it was current-ish, and it was really funny because it lasted A LONG FUCKING TIME. i don't think i realised it wasn't a winnable fight, or i realised it was but wanted to see how long i could keep going. anyway, he kept fighting me but he couldn't kill me because i'd just keep healing myself. i got his hp fairly low when the fight ended. that's canon, for me -- zenos wipes the floor with the resistance, then he encounters /you/, the wol, the only person who actually stood up to him for more than .2 seconds. he has to unleash his full power to finally put you down, the rest of that fight was him toying with you.

my headcanon is that zenos is used to fighting warriors -- like, warriors, paladins, samurai, dragoons etc. this is the first time he's gone up against a powerful healer. healers generally not being too adept at combat he's used to just cutting them down, but this one not only stands their ground, but fights back. an assize that laid waste to an entire unit of imperial troops barely scratches zenos' armour, /but he should not have been able to do even that/, so even though zenos walks off the victor like it's not worth even killing you, that encounter lingers in the back of his mind and he can't stop thinking about it.

raubahn's the only one with a brain cell who just saw the wol lose and went "...maybe i won't try this guy."

I HATE THIS LINE i know a lot of people were like "yay, the msq finally acknowledges you're a healer!" but it's SOOOOOOOOO OUT OF CHARACTER FOR VAL JFSKLJfkdlsjla he didn't just STAND THERE STARING STUPIDLY when he noticed y'shtola and conrad were on the ground bleeding out he was /already there/. (and i think his recent fight with zenos drained him of being able to heal as effectively as he should have and that really shook him.)

i think a lot of people have beef with lyse being named resistance leader, but i think this is where conrad realised it had to be done. he's given up here.

also, hi, i'm brave and stupid :)

(also i think a lot of ppl really dislike zenos bc his part of the msq REPEATEDLY refers to your defeat at his hands as "humiliation" which. is a tough pill to swallow for the player, who doesn't want to see their special mary sue look foolish or weak.)

i like that the msq allows this to be /your/ idea, that's a nice touch! normally in a game the character would have said something like "yes that's exactly what i was suggesting good job you get a cookie" but nah they fully just let it be your idea.

aaaaand we're off to doma.

woowoo stormbloog ng+ time

as an introduction: i started playing ffxiv around patch 4.2, so… oh my god six years ago what the fuck?? SIX?? IVE BEEN SAYING FOUR THE WHOLE TIME –

anyway i felt a lot of pressure to hurry through the msq to get to endgame to do content with my fc, so i wasn’t paying as close attention to the story as i probably should have; plus, a lot of plot threads introduced in arr, hw, and stb would later be re-contextualized by retcons and additions made in shb and ew that were not present at the time i was playing through them. i’ve also changed characters since then; i started on a catgirl with an entirely different backstory to my current main, who is a dalmascan refugee with a more personal stake in the activity of the garlean empire. (i’ve also changed my opinion on zenos as an antagonist and character.)

i’m a stormblood apologist. i don’t think it’s a bad expansion, not even the msq, which a lot of people rank the lowest of all in terms of story quality. it’s definitely the most divisive of them for a reason, but i think it’s really important because of the way it tightens up and really starts to solidify some of the worldbuilding of previous expacs, dives back into the garlean stuff which becomes VERY important in endwalker, and provides some pretty crucial character development, especially for alisaie.

i think people are too hard on it because 1) they don’t like lyse, and 2) they expected an expansion that laser-focused on ala mhigo and got a large swathe of the msq pivoting to focus on doma/hingashi/yanxia instead to the point of neglecting the ala mhigan side. i’ll talk about lyse probably because i honestly do not remember what beef people had with her, it’s been SIX YEARS SINCE I PLAYED THIS??, but i do share the majority opinion that ala mhigo kind of got robbed in this expansion and that’s frustrating.

anyway i’m gonna go unsync raubahn’s wall (extreme)

#ffxiv replay #stormblood

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allhallowstiel · 2 years ago

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it’s hard to articulate my feelings because a lot of them are conflicting and confusing so im just gonna do bullet points:

under the cut bc this got long

i had a feeling the marwa situation wouldn’t get brought up again so . yeah. there’s that. that’s just a thing we have to accept now ig. i’m sure i don’t need to explain why that was fucked up as many people have already done so in much better ways than i ever could. "but other characters get treated bad too-" you're telling me you don't see anything wrong with a woman of color turning into a white man and the idea that she's "happier like that"?

the colin reveal was fucking amazing like. jaw dropped and everything like. THAT was incredible and i think colin’s storyline this season overall- including his relationship with laszlo- was really well done. im gonna miss baby colin, but we knew from the get-go that it was temporary. i just wasn't expecting him to forget everything.

as far as nandermo goes, i didn’t want them together in this season like. At All. they’ve still got a long way to go and i thought that even before freddie, the episode that people say ruined nandermo. but, going back to what paul said about nandor, if nandor learned nothing from turning marwa into a freddie clone, then it does have me a little concerned on whether or not he’ll learn anything in season 5. in order for him to actually feel regret for how he has treated guillermo and work towards fixing it, he needs a major fucking realization (not necessarily a romantic one) so, it makes me worry that in season 5 their reunion will be nandor begging to have guillermo back because he can barely manage to take care of himself without him, when that shouldn’t be what reunites them at all. in fact, if that does happen, guillermo should reject him.

so, this season pretty much reset everything and wiped the slate clean. colin robinson is back to his old self and remembers nothing from his childhood. laszlo no longer has the responsibility of parenting anymore. nadja’s club is pretty much dead. and nandor is back to being lonely and single and wants to pretend he doesn’t give a shit. guillermo comments on this, outright saying that nothing there ever changes and that he’s fucking tired of it, so he dips. and, like- i get that the vampires are very set in their ways. i wouldn’t expect them not to be. but this plus paul simms saying that nandor learned nothing this season kind of has me concerned- both for nandermo and for the show in general, but more for the show overall.

on the other hand, the season cliffhanger is an absolutely perfect set-up for some real change to happen all-around, not just with nandermo. probably not anything groundbreaking because we still have to consider how the vampires are- but wiping the slate clean creates new opportunities. but again, what paul simms said has me worried. if he wants the vampires to remain static and never actually become better or stronger people, and have guillermo be the sole dynamic character, that’s fine. despite being static, the vampires are funny enough to continue being entertaining- wwdits is a comedy first and foremost, after all. but that leaves guillermo with the task of moving whatever plot wwdits has forward- and now he’s set his sights on becoming a vampire. i doubt he’ll get what he wants right away- i don't see this whole derek thing immediately going the way guillermo wants it to- but right now it feels like guillermo is kind of carrying the show on his back (one could easily argue that he's BEEN carrying it). if he loses what makes him so relatable to the audience- his humanity- and none of the other vampires show any signs of ever even slightly changing... that kinda worries me. i mean, will i still keep watching?? uh, yeah. of course i will. i love guillermo. but it will change my thoughts on some things.

and yes, one could make the argument that guillermo’s “humanity” even as a human is barely there, given what he does and all. but the fact that he’s the only human main character allows him to connect with the audience in a way that the vampires can’t.

THAT BEING SAID. after the whole marwa thing and now paul simms saying this, im a bit... nervous. not angry (besides the marwa thing)- just nervous. so i’m going to sum up this very lengthy post with some of my hopes for s5:

(i also want to make it clear that when i talk about the vampires changing i don’t mean them becoming “good people”. god no. by “change” i mean seeing the world in new perspectives, adapting better to the modern world, changing old ideas or beliefs, and yes- even changing how they treat the people that are important to them, because despite how stuck in their ways they are, i don’t think the vampires are completely incapable of genuine love)

i want the guide upgraded to be a main character in season 5. sean too because i think that would be fun, but i’m mostly concerned about the guide bc i think this show needs some more female characters in its main cast.

i also don’t want nandor’s two remaining wishes to be swept under the rug. this is mostly fueled by my desire to see the djinn again.

i want nandor to begin the process of accepting that he cares about guillermo and wants him in his life as more than just a familiar. im not saying i want a love confession right away- i don’t think they should dive into romance right away. i think they should take it slow, but they should also not be afraid of having nandor express care and concern for guillermo, especially if they want that relationship to be endgame (and I still believe it will be. im just a bit shaken rn but i promise im still an endgame truther).

and lastly i want nadja to kiss a woman. as wonderful as wwdits is with representing queer men, i feel like the guide and nadja don’t really get to openly express their pansexuality as much as nandor and laszlo do, so i’d like to see that explored more as well.

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #nandor the relentless #guillermo de la cruz #nandermo #nadja of antipaxos #laszlo cravensworth #colin robinson #marwa #don't take this as hate i didn't think the finale was bad at all #i loved it actually #im just scared #and sometimes shows SHOULD leave you with that feeling of anticipation- i just have no idea if im supposed to be feeling this or not

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pendularium · 3 years ago

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Catch-22 the 2019 TV show is fine, but it's not Catch-22 the book.

SPOILERS: for Catch-22 (novel and 2019 show) CW: discussions of/mentions of death and war

It was love at first sight.

The first time I read Catch-22, I fell madly in love with it.

As a novel it was strange, confusing and funny in a way that no other books that I had read were. It was entirely unique, and I found its depiction of war, brutal, bloody and insane, to be moving in a way that most war novels just weren't for me.

And did I mention that it's really funny? I have re-read this book at least once a year since I first read it, and I have laughed every time. This book changed me in a way I still can't really verbalise - as with all media we consume, this book is a part of me. A big part. And while I can't relate to the specific anxieties within the book, a fear of death and the feeling of being both sane and insane is one that is deeply familiar to us as people. As is tragedy.

And this book is tragic.

It's sad and funny and hopeful and blindingly brilliant, and deserves far more people ranting about how great it is.

I first heard about what was to be the 2019 adaptation in a taxi on the radio, half asleep and being driven through the British countryside, endless fields of wheat and rapeseed blurring together in the dim twilight. I heard the hosts talk about the show, about how George Clooney was in it, and I remember thinking, I have no idea who that is. Why my lack of knowledge of George Clooney is what I remember best, I truly have no idea, but that's what it was.

I then forgot about the show for several years, until, three days ago, I went on All 4, googled 'good shows to watch on all 4', and Catch-22 came up.

So I watched it.

And I was. Disappointed.

The show isn't bad. I do need to stress that. It's an enjoyable show about a likeable main character, but there is something different about it that makes it not Catch-22. That something sat with me throughout my initial binge, an uncomfortable presence sitting on the sofa next to me, and telling me that something just wasn't quite right.

And I think it all struck me in the final episode, when Yossarian, naked (literally) and alone flies away into a sunset, muttering "release".

The only thing that I could think of was how utterly hopeless the show is. In the book, Yossarian gets out. The book ends on a bizarre, hopeful and funny note:

'So long, Chaplain. Thanks, Danby.' 'How do you feel Yossarian?' 'Fine. No, I'm very frightened.' 'That's good,' said Major Danby. 'It proves you're still alive. It won't be fun.' Yossarian started out. 'Yes it will.' 'I mean it Yossarian, You'll have to keep on your toes every minute if every day. They'll bend heaven and earth to catch you' 'I'll keep on my toes every minute.' 'You'll have to jump.' 'I'll jump.' 'Jump!' Major Danby cried. Yossarian jumped. Nately's whore was hiding just outside the door. The knife came down, missing him by inches. and he took off.

The book ends with Yossarian running away, free at last from the military, from Cathcart's endless raising of the missions and from the deaths of all his friends. Orr is maybe alive, and there is hope, and humour, and the hope has overcome the tragedy lurking beneath the text.

It is, I think, easy to overlook the hope in Catch-22, to simply take it for a funnier and more surreal 'All Quiet on the Western Front'. To take the misery and the death and the absolute trauma of it as all there is, because it is, in a very real way, all consuming. Even the ending, which is defiantly and unapologetically hopeful, has a reference to Nately's death, in that his 'whore' is only trying to kill Yossarian because Nately is dead.

Therein, I feel, lies the main difference between the show and the book. Catch-22 the novel is hopeful, despite the tragedy, and Catch-22 the show is hopeless, because of it.

The way both Catch-22s treat the tragedy of the situations is also different. This is, I feel, most evident in the case of the deaths of Kid Sampson, McWatt, and Nately. Kid Sampson's death in the novel is shocking and memorable, for very different reasons to the show. In the book it is almost bloodless, not unbloody, but the blood is simply not the focus.

Kid Sampson's two pale, skinny legs, still joined by strings somehow at the bloody truncated hips, standing stock-still on the raft for what seemed like a full minute or two before they toppled over backward into the water finally with a faint, echoing splash and turned completely upside down so that only the grotesque toes and plaster-white soles of Kid Sampson's feet remained in view.

This scene is shocking and awful. It's the sort of scene where the reader has to pause and re-read it just to make sure that is what just happened. Kid Sampson's death isn't the first in the book, but it is a very memorable one, in part because it happens on Pianosa, where they are meant to be safe, and in part because of Heller's description. The long run-on sentence and focus on the legs perfectly encapsulates the shock of the situation, and make it a shockingly quiet moment in a loud book (n.b. most of the death scenes are). In contrast, the show's depiction of kid Sampson's death is bloody, gratuitous in it, and is crippled by its lack of breathing room. In the show, we are given a glimpse of Kid Sampson through McWatt's canopy, before the canopy is drenched in blood. The scene is blood soaked, and it is not shocking in that. One of the early scenes in the first episode is of Yossarian, drenched in blood, walking away from the camera. Another is of a fellow bombardier blown from his plane who smacks against Yossarians plane, smearing blood all over the glass. The legs, which are so malevolent and purposeful in what they represent in the book, so blood-free, are relegated to a bloody side role in the show. They are a bloody mass of bone and sinew and flesh present in the far left of the screen as the camera focuses on the shocked face of one of the characters. The watcher barely has moments to process that before Kid Sampson is forgotten and we move on to McWatt, watching him fly into a mountain, and neither death is given room to just be, in all their awful glory. In the book (or at least in my book), it is almost two full pages after kid Sampson's death that McWatt finally crashes his plane. The reader is given time in a way that the watcher isn't, and although both are fast paced, moving swiftly on, there is a greater sense of time in the book, in just the passage I quoted above, than in the entire part of the show dealing with it.

McWatt's death carries it's own set of problems with it, problems shared with Orr and Aarfy, but most notable in McWatt. Heller has a habit of giving characters very specific idiosyncrasies, which both help the reader understand and identify them, but also make every reference to them that is serious absolutely heartbreaking. With McWatt, this is, I feel, most noticeable. Throughout the book, Heller associates a specific phrase with McWatt (if you've read the book you're probably already saying it to yourself) with 'Oh well, what the hell.'

'Oh well,' McWatt would sing, 'what the hell.'

This is repeated throughout the book, and tells us about McWatt as a character, and is used by Heller to teach us to respond to the phrase with an immediate, Pavlovian, thought of him, only to destroy us with:

a great choking moan tore from Yossarian's throat as McWatt turned again, dipped his wings once in a salute, decided oh, well, what the hell, and flew into a mountain.

When I first read this I put the book down. I had to. I liked McWatt. And I really just couldn't process this for several seconds. I sat there, the book on the table, thinking oh. There is a sudden and immediate contrast between the phrase, the phrase that conjures the image of cheerful, fun, sane McWatt, who is a brilliant pilot and gets a buzz out of flying low over the tents and scaring the men, who Yossarian loves as a pilot because he does insane manoeuvres and keeps him alive, and his short, abrupt, clipped end. Heller doesn't linger on McWatt. He kills him in the most brutal and emotional way possible in so few words, and then moves on.

The show does not. The episode ends, not with Cathcart raising the missions as in the book, but with a slow zoom out from Pianosa, the camera viewing the bloody raft where Kid Sampson died, and the burning crash site of McWatt's plane. This lingering, while (finally) giving the scenes the time they needed to be digested, undercuts a different message of the books. Cathcart, and by extension, the military, don't care. They send out impersonal letters, dear Mrs., Mr., Miss, or Mr. and Mrs. (a plot point in the book), and don't care about the lives of the men, and that is why they are part of everyone conspiring against Yossarian.

In the book, the worry is that Yossarian will die, that he will be unable to get out in time, that his superiors are conspiring with the Germans and the Italians and everyone to kill him.

''Who's they?' [Clevinger] wanted to know. 'Who, specifically, do you think is trying to murder you?' 'Every one of them.' Yossarian told him.

Yossarian had proof, because strangers he didn't know shot at him with cannons every time he flew up in the air to drop bombs on them.

That was the secret that Snowden had spilled to him on the mission to Avignon - they were all out to get him; and Snowden had spilled it all over the back of the plane.

This is missing from the show, where everything is all at once bloodier and milder. The incompetencies of the higher-ups in the book, the obsessions with parades and bomb patterns and having more missions than the other divisions, sucking up to Dreedle and Peckham, Peckham and Dreedle competing with each other, and Milo rising above everything - above morals and ideals and mission counts and the law. These are all missing in some regard from the show. Milo's bombing of Pianosa is framed in a much more polite way. It happens and then nobody brings it up again. Nobody dies, or is wounded, Milo evacuates the areas. In the book,

Men bolted from their tents in sheer terror and did not know in which direction to turn. Wounded soon lay screaming everywhere. A cluster of fragmentation bombs exploded in the yard of the officers' club and punched jagged holes in the side of the wooden building and in the bellies and backs of a row of lieutenants and captains standing at the bar. They doubled over in agony and dropped. The rest of the officers fled towards the two exits in panic and jammed up the doorways like a dense, howling dam of human flesh as they shrank from going farther.

In the book, Milo's bombing of Pianosa, and the eventual acceptance of this by America, is framed as part of the uncaring machine. They are all, even Milo, out to get Yossarian, and out to get every one of the soldiers. In the book, this is loud, bloody and chaotic. It isn't personal, as in the show, but in the book, the impersonal nature of it extends to who is killed and injured, and nobody is spared.

When I talked this over with a friend who had also read and enjoyed Catch-22, they said that it seemed like the creators had sanitised the more explicit anti-military and anti-war themes of the novel, painting it not as a struggle of the little guy to stay alive in a world that wants to kill them, but as a story about how a little guy wasn't suited for war. And honestly? I agree. The story glorifies the military by making them not the incompetent fools of the book, but as a scary and somewhat incompetent organisation. And this does glorify them. By making them seem scary, they are made to be powerful and impressive. This is perhaps best seen with Yossarian's attempts to avoid going to Bologna. In the show, they are disciplined, shouted at by Cathcart in a moment of genuine impressiveness and authority by the otherwise cartoonish Colonel who asked why they hadn't bombed the Vatican. They are singled out and humiliated in front of all the men, and the military, with Cathcart standing as its head, is, for an impressive and memorable moment, a force to be reckoned with. The message is clear. Being scared is understandable, but cowardice is not. Taking the military for fools with a broken radio is not.

You may remember that a little while ago I was talking about Kid Sampson's death, and I mentioned the shocked face of a character. I don't know who that character was! I'm guessing Dunbar or Nately, but I really don't know. That was a recurring theme for me in the show. There was so little characterisation, and so little time spent on the characters that they simply were not memorable. In a show where the costuming can't be especially creative - they're all in the same uniform - characterisation and letting the audience get to know the characters is extremely important, otherwise they will just forget them. In the book, the characters are not forgettable. Heller uses the little idiosyncrasies and his descriptions of the various characters to create a large and memorable cast. That was missing in the show. I knew who Kid Sampson was from the book, and I could identify him because of the book, but I swear he had not come up before in any sort of memorable way in the show. McWatt's actions seem strange in the show - in character only in that he has little character. In the book it is well established that he is an amazing pilot, and one who frequently flies low to buzz the men. Him showing off and buzzing Kid Sampson makes sense in the book. None of the characters are well formed except the more cartoonish and 2D ones, Yossarian, and Nurse Duckett, who serves as his love interest in the show.

The show also just isn't that funny. A lot of the jokes in Catch-22 are so good because of how subtle and dark they are, because of how surreal and contextual they are. The entire bit with the tomatoes never fails to at least make me smile, and I did not have that same experience in the show. The best part for me was the scene in one of the early episodes where Cathcart berates the men for failing to blow up a building, before being informed that that is Vatican City, and that it's neutral ground, and he has to do an abrupt about-face and begin congratulating the men for not blowing it up. That is one scene in show. And while there were other parts that made me smile, nothing else was really actually funny.

This isn't everything that can be criticised about the show, and how it fails as an adaptation of Catch-22, but this is most of what I picked up on on my first watch. There is much more I could talk about, and more depth that I could go into on everything, but I simply don't want to. The show isn't bad. It's just not Catch-22.

I don't especially want to spend ages talking about a show that I thought was just fine - who am I - HBomberguy? The reasons that this show invoked such a reaction in me, a person who is normally quite casual about adaptations - if it works, it works - are in many ways deeply personal. An adaptation is not a copy after all, and some things have to be sacrificed when translating a work from book to TV show. Catch-22 is not a book that easily makes a film. It is long and convoluted and, quite honestly, has too many characters and perspectives to be an easy film or show to make, and while it would make an easier show than a film, the 2019 show makes a close adaptation harder for itself by being a mini-series.

This is not to say the book is perfect - no piece of media truly can be, and Catch-22 certainly isn't. But Catch-22 the book is better - or at least different - from it's 2019 adaptation, and I think that needs to be acknowledged more than it is. As I said in the beginning, Catch-22 deserves far more people ranting about how great it is, and this show is not one I would go as far to recommend. I enjoyed it (mostly), but it's a like, rather than a love for me. This show would not make me want to read the book, because the show doesn't stand out, and it definitely doesn't stand out in a way that would coin a phrase and bring it into daily lexicon. I knew what a catch-22 was, and had used it casually in conversation before I ever knew of the book, and this show just wouldn't do the same. Overall, as an original piece of media, the show would be decent - one I'd maybe tell others to watch, but as an adaptation it pales in comparison to the book, and thus simply isn't good enough to get above a 3/5 from me.

#catch 22 #opinion #review #pendularium #my essay #longish post #long post #Catch-22

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technowoah · 4 years ago

Text

Rather Be Devisive Than Indecisive pt. 2

You weren't planning to help Techno again, but here you are with his horse.

- ANON REQUESTED!

- I really wanted to do second part anyways! So thanks a bunch!

- this story is long 😪 it'll all make sense though!

- part 1 is here!

- masterlist!

To say everything went south was a understatement. Everything went to hell, and you were currently living in it. You missed watching the sunset standing ontop L'Manburg's walls, you missed the peacefulness before the war. Maybe back then was too good to be true.

After the last encounter with Technoblade you had turned back to help Tommy and Tubbo. You tried to help wherever you could because you can see everyone drift apart, the main reason people came together was gone and dead. You tried to be a bigger sibling to both of them, and you tried to Tubbo and the former citizens repair the crater Wilbur left behind.

It took years, but L'Manburg was new and fresh again, with the help of Tubbo's new cabinet of trusted people L'Manburg was peaceful again. Tubbo had made you apart of his cabinet as well as Quackity, Fundy, Tommy and Karl. It was a new beginning.

There were days where you wondered if Wilbur would get a funeral. Schlatt had gotton a funeral, but you saw first hand how that went it wasnt a somber moment at all. It was for the best, they had mixed feelings about Wilbur and you dont blame them.

You had a new family, but there were things unkown to you, things that are being created out of your knowledge and that scared you. We have new L'manburg, but it isnt the same you dont know how long Tubbo could uphold peace in this new kingdom.

New things were created from the end of a old one.

It was a peaceful day in L'Manburg just as Tubbo promised the new citizens. You had stayed busy the whole day until a certian blonde came around your house frantically urging you to get outside and follow him

"C'mon! Just follow me! I have something to show you!"

"Tommy what are you talking about?!"

"Its VERY important, hurry! I dont want him to leave that spot."

Tommy had dragged you by the arm to the pier that evening and kept chanting that he had to show you something of utmost importance. You were trying to ask questions and keep up with his pace as he weaved through buildings claiming they were a "shortcut". Tommy stopped you at the pier and stood to your side, he was looking back and forth at the end of the pier to the water and back to you again.

You were about to ask why you were there until you saw a familiar man.

"Oh! Hello! Tommy who is this?"

He was pale, no, he was transparent. He looked pale, the sunset's dull rays made it seem like he still had skin. He had a yellow sweater on with brown pants and black shoes. He looked comfortable, he looked free. Next to his side there was a sheep on a leash with blue dye, you noticed it was poorly dyed too the dye was dripping from its wool. It was Wilbur, physically, but it wasn't HIM.

"He's Ghostbur." Tommy whispered to you while he stood between you two.

"Yes, I'm Ghostbur!" The ghost cheerfully said.

"This- this is y/n. Dont you remember?" Tommy cautiously asked Ghostbur.

Ghostbur had a look of confusion and curiosity on his face. He seemed so pure compared to when he was alive.

"No..I can't, but I would love to know." He stuck out his hand in a greeting.

"Hi I'm ghostbur!"

"I'm y/n." You said lowly.

You tried to reach out and grab his hand but it went straight through. You hated it, he's gone and you couldn't bring him back. It isn't him, but Ghostbur maybe better, Wilbur is gone and thats okay. Something came out of nothing, you kept telling yourself that everything was okay, but now seeing Ghostbur so naive and pure and free of the world's weight you believed everything would be fine.

"Im sorry. Im transparent, and I have no flesh." Ghostbur smiled.

"That's fine." You paused looking for the right words. "Do you know what you did? To L'Manburg?"

"Believe me, he dosen't. I tried." Tommy said to you.

"I couldn't belive I would do such a thing." Ghostbur added on.

"He shares no memories of Wilbur. Basically a new person." Tommy continued.

"That's great." You perked up. "It's bittersweet ya know. But Im happy you're here Ghostbur!"

"Im happy I'm here too, and Im happy I met you today." Ghostbur smiled at you while his sheep walked towards you, he unknowingly rubbed up against you putting blue dye on your clothes.

"Oh! This is Friend! I forgot to mention him to you. You can pet him!"

You didnt want to. He was dripping with dye, but you did it to appease Ghostbur. Tommy cringed while you petted the slightly wet, blue sheep. Once you were done your hand was blue, you rubbed it on your clothes that were already blue.

"I think he likes you." Ghostbur cheerfully said.

You were so thankful for Tommy bringing you to that pier. It was the closure you needed to move on and focus on building a new life for all of you. A peaceful life, but it seemed too good to be true. Days went by like normal and that sometimes was too much for you. You worked on new buildings and worked with Tubbo's cabinet too, that was a new normality for you.

The unknown scared you, but you had your family here. You had made amends with them and now and this is what you wanted. But then again it all seemed too good to be true.

Nobody had told you anything, you weren't in cabinet meetings, nor around Tubbo or Tommy. You felt shut out, you felt sick. The cabinet had decided to do something about Tommy and Dream started to become involved in Tommy's predicament. Soon after Tommy was in court, stripped away of his vice presidency, and had been put on probation.

Tubbo had come to you about Tommy being exiled. There was a huge meeting with the cabient and Dream about that situation and you had stayed silent the whole time. You wanted what was best for L'Manburg, but Tommy was like a brother to you, you couldn't send him away to fend for himself. You could see the confliction on Tubbo's face as he was going through the same dilemma as you were.

In the end Dream gave Tubboo 3 days to chose if to exile Tommy or not.

Tubbo had talked to you about the situation before the second day came. You two were in the same boat when it came to exiling him. You two had came to a conclusion, Tubbo just had to talk with the rest of his cabinent for a final conclusion.

The second day came and the plan switched immediately when Tommy came and introduced it. He wanted to fight back against Dream, of course he did, but he wanted another man to come and help. They wanted Technoblade to join their revolt. Quackity and Fundy agreed with the idea, but Tubbo was more cautious. You hated it.

Technoblade wasn't a subject nor person you wanted to be associated with ever since that night in Pogtopia. After all this time you had forgotten about him, you had forgotten your failed attempt at rekindling your friendship until now.

Tubbo was cautious, but you were 100% against it. Tubbo agreed with the rest of the cabinet and Tommy. They eventually asked you, and of course you said no, but it didn't matter, majority rules in this case.

You all approched Dream intop of the obsidian walls with your final decision.

"We have come to a decision. Look around." Tubbk leaded.

"There's giant, obsidian walls." Dream answered calmly.

"There is, there is Dream. And that's a problem, okay? This is funny actually." Tubbo turned back to Tommy. "Tommy, I am- I am so sorry."

Tubbo continues to talk to Dream. "I have come to the decision, that it'll be better for the nation the most logical thing to do is for Tommy to be exiled from L'Manburg."

"What?"

"Tubbo?!"

"Teaming up with Technoblade is an awful idea! It's an awful idea!"

Oh thank goodness.

"We just had this conversation!" Fundy yelled.

"No! No! Okay?! Nothing! Involving any kind of conflict is not safe for this nation! You've undermined my authority from the get go! Okay! All of you! No one here has respected me. You all jump on these merry little bandwagons of destruction. It's not okay!"

Tubbo was livid. His face was turning red and will keep doing so if he kept yelling. You felt a familiar breeze beside you as you saw Ghostbur standing next to you and behind Tommy. He smiled at you and continued yo listen to Tubbo's angry speech. You wondered why he was here, why he showed up at times and then left. Like he only needed to listen and not give any input.

"You cant go back on the plan now?! What the hell?!" Tommy yelled.

"When I was sworn in I made a promise to do what was best for the nation. And right now, Tommy you, your presence here is not the best for his nation."

Your heart dropped to your stomach and you think ghostbur noticed. You were happy that you didnt need to see Technoblade again, but you were going to lose what you would call a brother. You started to backtrack on your final decision, you belived Tubbo was in thr right. Tubbo wanted what was best for L'Manburg and what was best for L'Manburg was for Tommy to be exiled. You wished there was another way, but you know Tommy was stubborn it wouldn't work that easy.

Your mind kept wandering to if Tubbo decided to team with Technoblade. He was right there would be destruction, a huge war and probably the end of L'Manburg. You didn't want that again, you didn't want to see him again. You couldn't help but wonder if he knew L'Manburg was brand new.

"Dream, please detain and escort Tommy out of my country."

Tommy was gone. Its been weeks, four weeks to be exact. L'Manburg was peaceful, everywhere was peaceful, but you had to admit that you missed him. Fundy and Quackity tried to convince Tubbo to bring Tommy back, but he already made up his mind. He was confident in his decision, you were proud he was ruling L'Manburg confidently, but everyone was weary.

You haven't seen Ghostbur around either, he must've been floating around somewhere. It's none of your business.

The walls have been taken down and L'Manburg was independent again. There were sacrifices to be made. There were a lot of sacrifices to be made to keep L'Manburg up, and you kept asking yourself if everything was worth it. Was the discs worth that much to Tommy? Was L'Manburg even a good choice to begin with?

Was Technoblade right?

The Butcher Gang. They were calling themselves The Butcher Gang. The cabinet had several meeting and came ti the decisions that the biggest problems in L'Manburg were Technoblade and Dream. The cabinet decided not to kill Dream because of the fact that he was allies with L'Manburg, so they decided to try and kill Technoblade.

Dumbasses. You've mentioned to Tubbo that he was a very, very, very dangerous man. Tubbo has seen him before! You asked Tubbo constantly why did he wants to kill him when he says that he didn't want to team up with him. Tubbo said it was for the better of L'Manburg, but dosent he know that might cause even more trouble?

You didnt want to join them, you couldn't risk your life for something that is impossible to achieve. You separated from the cabinet, you couldn't watch them do this and you tried to stop them, but they insisted on the act.

Lately you've seen more of Ghostbur and that made you happy. It made you happy he wanted to spend time with you and it made you forget the trouble brewing in the cabinet.

"What's wrong?" Ghostbur asked while sitting on the edge of the pier with you, and Friend who was tied to one of the pier's poles.

"It's nothing Ghostbur." You said with a sigh.

"Good!" He cheerfully said.

"Can I actually tel you something?" You asked again, you wanted to get this off of your chest.

"Of course." He smiled.

You sighed and then began to speak as you looked out to the water. "It's the cabinet, its Tubbo, Fundy and Quackity that's the problem."

"But they are wonderful people! What can they do wrong?" Ghostbur suddenly asked.

"They want to kill someone, Ghostbur."

"Maybe it was a misunderstanding."

"I dont- I dont think so." You hung your head looking at your feet.

"Ghostbur, they want to kill Technoblade and I dont-"

"Technoblade?! That's my friend! Why- why would they want to kill him?"

Your heart felt heavy at his words. Another point not to kill Technoblade, you didn't want Ghostbur to hurt, not like Wilbur.

"He was a friend of mine too once. When L'Manburg first got blown up he- we betrayed L'Manburg and then spawned 3 wither skeletons to destroy the rest of the citizens." You explained to Ghostbur's disrught face.

"You wouldn't do that! You're kind!" Ghostbur exclaimed.

"It wasn't my best decision Ghostbur. People can make bad mistakes. A lot of people do. They aren't pure like you." You smiled softly at him.

A long hush fell over the two of you until Ghostbur perked up.

"We need to save Technoblade!" He exclaimed.

"Ghostbur I cant do that."

"Why not?"

"Because me and Techno aren't friends anymore." You said sadly.

"Why not?"

You couldn't answer that. You can, you can give the right answer, but at this moment you couldnt tell the ghost who suddenly stood up next to you.

"If I take you to where Technoblade lives will you feel better?" Ghostbur asked with Friend's leash in his hands.

Tubbo, Fundy and Quackity didnt know where Technoblade lives and desperately wanted to know to kill him. Maybe this was a good idea. You tried to convince yourself that as you walked side by side with Ghostbur. You had followed him through the woods as he weaved in and out of the trees. Friend was following Ghostbur as well, he wouldn't let Friend stay anywhere out of his sight.

You were getting special treatment, you were about to find out where Technoblade lived before The Butcher Gang would. Would you be considered a traitor again? Tubbo wouldn't want you back in the cabinet if you knew where Technoblade lived and you didnt tell him.

The atmosphere got colder as you two ventured on, you didnt know he would retreat all the way out here. It was snowing and you didn't bring any type of warm clothing considering L'Manburg was rather warm. Ghostbur had no problem, neither did Friend. Luckily you saw a light in the dark woods. It was further away, but you could see the light expand as you two treaded over towards it.

"That's the house!" Ghostbur pointed too.

You two reached the end of the woods and before you was an opening. There was blanket of white snow everywhere, there were footprints in the snow, but they were being covered by the falling snow above you. It was a valley and the only thing there was a beautiful wooden house. It was errie, the only civilization here was was Technoblade who lived in the house.

"It's pretty lonely." You said still cautious of the situation.

"Yeah it's sad, but we're here and it's okay!" Ghostbur said.

"Sure." You whispered as Ghostbur continues to lead the way.

You two got closer and closer to the house and you continued to try and back out. It's too late to do so now, you didnt even feel like walking back to L'Manburg after you confront Technoblade again. The two of you were heading up to his door, your heart was beating heavier as you got to his door. You brought your fist up to knock on the door, hopefully he was home because you were freezing cold. You harshly knocked on his door and awaited for his response.

You two waited for a while, but no one was opening the door.

"Ghostbur why don't you go inside?"

"I'll just peak my head in!" He answered and did so. His head phased through the door and then he came back out with a frown on his face. "No one is in there."

"Why did we come here?" You sulked and started to turn away from the door.

"Why the hell are you two here at night?!"

"Oh! Techno! Hi!"

Shit. You were looking into his eyes and you froze when he turned to you. This was the first time you've seen him in years ever since Pogtopia, you hated it. It was embarrassing you tried to become friends long ago, but that failed, and now you were here again. He probably saw you as desperate, coming back to him after betraying him.

"Hello Ghostbur. How are you?" Technoblade walked in between the two of you opening the door to his house. When he walked in he intentionally left the door open for you and Ghostbur. Luckily it was warmer inside and you welcomed it.

"Im good! But we are here for you." Ghostbur cheerfully said.

"Oh really?" Technoblade said while occupying himself with something else, not even bothering to look at the two of you standing awkwardly at his closed door.

"Yeah, Y/N tell him!" Ghostbur urged you on.

You paused for a second before speaking to Technoblade, who wasnt even paying attention. "There's these people called the Butcher Gang."

"Sounds stupid."

"Yeah it is. And they want you."

Techno scoffed. "Want me for what?"

You knew Technoblade was smarter than this. He was bouncing around the room not even sparing a glance towards you. He wasn't paying attention.

"They want to kill you Technoblade."

He stopped all of his movements, stood up to his full height and looked towards you and Ghostbur for the first time you've been in his house.

"You better not be screwing with me."

"Why would I?!" You got offended by his statement.

"I dont know, because you show up to my house out of nowhere and tell me that people are trying to kill me. This could be a setup! I cant trust-"

"Okay! The Butcher Gang is Tubbo, Quackity and Fundy. Thats all I know of who's in the group. They want to kill you because you are a threat to L'Manburg. Trust me!" You cut him off and explained.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Technoblade asked you.

"Dont kill them, but I wanted to warn you. They are being reckless and since you're out here they shouldn't bother you. They're looking for more trouble, Tubbo already has a lot on his plate, this isn't a good idea for you nor L'Manburg."

You finished your statement still weary of this whole situation. You hated being in this situation, Techno's presence didn't make you uncomfortable it was just seeing him and warning him of future danger. You two weren't even considered close, why were you here? You were here for L'Manburg.

"Okay. I'll try. No promises though." Techno smirked and continued doing whatever task he was doing.

You found somewhere to sit for the time being knowing that you two wouldn't talk. Looking around the room you realized that Friend was alone inside the house without Ghostbur. You looked outside and saw him walking from the woods again in a rushed pace. You didn't know he left, he phased back into the house.

"They say they're gonna kill you. Y/n was right." Ghostbur says.

"Were you two leading them to my house?!"

"No."

"No we didn't! We didn't even know they were coming today!" You stood up looking out the window in search of Tubbo and the rest of them.

"Ghostbur who was with them?" You asked as Techno ran around the rooms for weapons and armor.

"Um, Tubbo, Fundy, Quackity..Oh! And Ranboo."

"Ranboo?!" That poor kid. What is he doing?

"Eventhough I hate to say this. I don't trust you. Get out." Technoblade paused infront of you before rushing to the other room. "And tell them I'm not home!"

"And if that dosent work?!" You yelled back.

"Then to hell with them!"

You rushed outside with Ghostbur, hoping that the Butcher Gang dosen't notice you were leaving Technoblade's house. It was too late, they were already lined up outside with full netherite armor and gear.

"Y/n?!"

"Wait what are you doing here?" Tubbo asked as you made your way towards them.

"Im- I wanted to try and rekindle mine and Technoblade's relationship." You used an old lie to get yourself out of this situation. This was an already bad look on you, hopefully your lie would work.

"I thought your friendship ended a long time ago?" Tubbo asked again.

"It did, but I wanted to try again." This was embarrassing, now you really seem desperate.

"I see, then move out of our way." Tubbo asked you harshly.

"Uh- hey." Technoblade came out of his house with full netherite too, you weren't protected, so you will have to stay out of the way.

"Why have you guys come all the way over here to my humble abode?" Technoblade started walking towards his stable where he kelt his horse. He tried to lighten the mood, but it didn't seem to work. As he moved you moved with him trying not to be inbetween the dangerous men with swords and enchanted armor.

"You need to pay for your war crimes." Tubbo said while following Technoblade.

"That was like- that's in the past! Alright, that was a different Technoblade. Im a changed man now! Im in retirement! Im a good person now Tubbo!" Technoblade dragged on as Tubbo just hummed in response.

Quackity spoke up. "Technoblade you exploded L'Manburg with fucking withers."

"You literally spawned Withers everywhere!" Tubbo exclaimed.

"Im sorry, Im sorry Technoblade as much as you changed you have to be brought to justice for that." Quackity interrupted Tubbo.

The Butcher Gang tried to speak to Technoblade at the same time, when Technoblade spoke up over them all.

"Listen guys! I've gone through so much effort over the past month to change my violent ways! I've reformed alright? The voices, they demand blood! And I- I have been denying THEM! Ive been fighting back! Please! Please dont make me kill all of you, please just leave."

You guess he has changed, but you knew somewhere in your mind that he wasn't talking about just the Butcher Gang, he was including you too. You were somewhat confident that you wouldn't be attacked or killed, but you were terribly wrong before.

There was back and forth banter between the two of them. Techno had tried to show the gang his bees and tried to make a run for it.

"Techno!"

"Hey!"

"He's running!"

The gang started running towards him, but instead of continuing he stopped and turned to them. You were trailing behind trying to catch up to them, you kept running after them. You were not equipped for this night, you didn't know Ghostbur was going to bring you out in the open cold. You could hear Ghostbur behind you as you continued to run towards them.

"Y/N you're gonna damage yourself!" Ghostbur's voice became more echoed and further away as you tried to get closer to the gang before they got killed.

"There's no other way."

"Tubbo dont be stupid!" You were right behind the Butcher Gang.

"There's no other way!"

Fuck

"I CHOSE BLOOD!"

A cloud of smoke enveloped the 6 of you and you suddenly could see. You could only see the glint of everyone's armor.

"Y/N get behind us!" Tubbo tried to blocked you off from reaching Technoblade.

"Why didn't you bring any armor?!" Quackity yelled.

"I didn't think i was gonna be fucking out here!"

Technoblade must've set off multiple smoke bombs because the smoke wouldn't stop, the smoke made you woozy, but the others didnt seemed phased by it at all and kept fighting Technoblade. Your lungs felt full, and you felt like passing out, but you wouldn't allow yourself to do so.

"Tubbo stop this!" You yelled out when the smoke cleared a little.

"No! He needs to pay!" He said while fighting with Fundy.

The air was still hazy and you lost sight of people occasionally. Whipping your head around you were met with what felt like the butt of a axe. You quickly saw a split second of a shiny axe and then a pain in your chest spiked up. You double back and tried to recover, but then you've been sliced in the thigh and a deep cut in your side taking you down to the ground. You were bleeding out and desperately trying to heal the wound in your side. You felt your consciousness slowly slip from you as you laid on the snow. The warm contrast of your blood compared to the cold snow was sad. You always get hurt, no matter what you do. It's inevitable, and you finally gotten used to it.

The last thing you heard was yelling, but it slowly faded out.

You were warm, and not in the middle of nowhere anymore. You opened your eyes to see yourself staring at a polished wood ceiling, the soft pillows and blankets around you made everything feel so much better. Your whole body hurts, you dont want to move nor do you want to remember. Thank goodness that someone had patched you up, you didn't want to die. You tried shifting your body but the pain in your side was denying any movement.

"Oh! You're awake thank God!" A voice called out from your side. You looked over to see the half human hafl enderman sitting in a chair by a window. "I thought you weren't gonna wake up! Tubbo and the rest if the cabinet was worried as well."

"Were you the one who patched me up?" You asked carefully.

"Yeah! Luckily I can see in that fog, so I took you away and patched you up." Ranboo smiled.

"Who- who hit me?" You asked trying to sit up again.

Ranboo paused. "Technoblade." Ranboo said in a somber tone.

"I see." You sighed.

Ranboo helped you sit back on the headboard of the bed and you two continued to talk.

"Are you mad at him?"

"Im just upset. Its okay, he said he'll kill all of us so I knew he would." You kept your gaze at you lap.

"Yeah I get it." Ranboo replied.

"I have a question ranboo!" You perked up.

"Yeah? Shoot."

"Why did you join the Butcher Gang?" You asked the taller man. He stayed silent thinking of a right answer before actually speaking.

"They were nice to me. I trust people who are nice to me, that show me kindness and treat me with respect. I know its lame, my answer isn't fully fleshed out, but that's the reason." Ranboo shrugged and you nodded.

You would love to know Ranboo more, he seems like a great guy, but he's just lost.

"Oh! I forgot! You have a letter!" Ranboo walked around the bed and brought out a folded piece of paper and handed it to you.

You unfolded it and began to read.

𝘔𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘤𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘦𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘦

𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘵. 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶

- 𝘋

"Execution site?" You looked towards Ranboo.

"Oh yeah! Technoblade's execution is today an-"

"How the hell did you get him?!" You interrupted him. "Im sorry."

Ranboo looked shocked before composing himself. "Dont worry! Well, we took his horse hostage and he immediately wanted to surrender if we didn't let Carl go." Ranboo gathered stuff around the room. "And the execution is today, happening in a few minutes and I need to be there. I'll be back soon to check up on you!"

You nodded and continued to listen to him.

"Are- are you coming?" Ranboo sent one last glance towards you before making his way out.

"You know you dont HAVE to go." You said trying to ease the tension.

"I know. I really do know." He sighed. "Are you sure you dont want to?"

"No, Im okay." You sent him a smile.

You had lied again. Of course you didn't want to see Technoblade get killed, but that note that was left made you go to the cave. You trudged you way up to said cave, even though the pain in your side was unbearable you continued on. Once you had gotton up to the cave, you peaked inside cautiously. You saw a man in a cloak with a familiar mask on with Technoblade's horse. You knew it was Dream.

"Hello."

"Hello Dream."

"I will cut right to the chase. Take Carl and wait here. I have other work to do." He handed you the reigns to Carl and started to leave.

"Excuse me!? What do I do? Why do I wait here?!" You yelled after him and he just waved you off.

You rolled your eyes and found a stone in the cave to rest against with Carl's reigns lazily in your hands.

You didnt know what time it was, but the sun was slowly going down, it wasn't particularly sunset, but you knew it was late. Your eyes began to close until your heard screaming in the distance. You sat up slowly, now fully alert. You held Carl's reigns tighter as you backed into the cave more and more.

Footsteps were heard in the distance coming up to the cave and you thought if Dream had set you up for failure. The footsteps grew louder until a panting Technoblade appeared at the entrance at the cave. He looked horrible, he was thinking the same thing about you.

You two exchanged no words. You didn't want to say anything, what would you even say? He rushed over to Carl and started petting him. "Carl you're okay!"

You hummed as you and Techno shared a glance. He smiled at you. He smiled at you. It's been so long since you've seen him smile. He didn't need words to communicate, his eyes and smile said enough. You matched his smile and gave him a knowing nod and he did the same.

"Feel better eh?" Technoblade started conversation.

"Not really. What about you?"

"Eh- used a totem of undying just now."

"What?! Really?" You exclaimed. "I guess that's why you're here now huh?"

"Yeah I'll tell you about it sometimes." He smiled and climbed atop of his horse and you could see him thinking. "Im sorry too. You almost died cause of me. Thats is unacceptable, I shouldn't- I shouldn't have attacked you. I couldn't-"

"You cant control it. It's gonna take me awhile to recover, but..." You touched your bandaged cut. "It'll take me some time."

Technoblade nodded knowing what you meant. He could always read your mind somehow, thats what made you two work. Knowing eachother. He sent you one last silent goodbye before riding out of the cave. You knew that trust was somewhat restored, and that you two were better than before. This might be a new beginning.

A very angry Quackity came running around the corner of the cave and spotted you leaving. He whipped his head around to you.

"Hey! Where the fuck is Techno?!" He yelled at you.

"I don't know-"

"Dont bullshit me!"

"I. Don't. Know." You said more sternly. He gave you a hard glare before running away.

You went the opposite way trying to make it back to the room you woke up in before Ranboo came back.

Earlier you were desperately trying to befriend Techno, but things come more naturally you learned. You cant rush things, nor control this world. Things will fall into place, your and Technoblade's friendship will blossom again.

You will never find peace, but that's okay. You should be used to it by now. Everything is chaotic, but everything will be okay.

226 notes · View notes

pandas-pandemonium · 2 years ago

Text

I posted 164 times in 2022

That's 58 more posts than 2021!

45 posts created (27%)

119 posts reblogged (73%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pandas-pandemonium

@raven-at-the-writing-desk

@twiwoncrackpopcorn

@yandere-daze

@bluemoondust

I tagged 110 of my posts in 2022

Only 33% of my posts had no tags

#twst spoilers - 8 posts

#twst chapter 6 - 8 posts

#asks - 7 posts

#twisted wonderland - 4 posts

#yandere sentient twst asks - 3 posts

#yandere obey me - 2 posts

#twst guide - 2 posts

#yeah - 2 posts

#happinesss - 2 posts

#yandere headcanons - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 106 characters

#if you want original works i have quotev for that but i haven't updated any of my stories in years so uhhh

My Top Posts in 2022:

MAN

they're Really keeping Idia/Ortho's OB design a secret huh

The painnn

I have so many things to talk about idk where to start??

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR LATEST CHAPTER 6 UPDATE

i cannot add a spoiler tag on mobile so SCROLL PAST!!!

Okay now...

First up:

the Pomefiore fan in me is So SOO happy??? Epel got his UM - Sleep Kiss, Rook being a good senpai and guiding Epel with his new magic spell, Vil being so happy to see them, Mann

His voice when he saw Epel like-🥺🥺🥺 Villl you missed your friends so muchh

I love Pomefiore so much, their dynamics are eVeRYTHiNG

Ortho?? Um- Ortho?? He really went "Sayonara bitches" the moment the dorm leaders didn't agree with the plan to reset the world like- Buddy??

And also-

What happened to Ortho from "That Day" that Idia gave up so easily?? He really went down to the Titans chamber, then Phantom Ortho was all, "Nii-chan, I've been dreaming of the day i could see you!" and Idia was all, "Leave it up to your big bro" and just- OBed...

It's pretty cool seeing his OB gem tho. At least now we know where it is?

Finally:

Grim... It's crazy how he can sniff out blot immediate honestly. By the end of this chapter, Idek if Grim will be the same after this. Any sign of someone OBing sets him off into feral mode. Yuu is going to be so heartbroken when they find him.

Also, Idk if he broke out already, but if he hasn't, someone is going to get hurt when he does.

It'll be pretty funny if they found him gnawing on OB Idia's heels tho lmao

Anyways...

we now have to wait until April or longer... Man... and I read this in one sitting too

118 notes - Posted March 24, 2022

Speculations on Claude's difference in character in 3 Hopes vs 3 Houses

Writing this because I'm so tired of seeing so many angry comments and tweets and posts about his supposed character assassination (among other things) and because I have faith in my guy. As of writing this, I've only just finished Part 1 of Golden Wildfire and only know some tidbits from spoilers (which I willingly exposed myself to)

The main gripe people seem to have about Claude's character is to do with how forceful and unwilling to hear people out and inquire about situations and people's motives. Personally, I don't see it as character assassination but rather a different way he could have developed if he hadn't gone through White Clouds in 3 Houses or met Byleth, or hadn't had to kill his half-brother, Shahid.

What I think was the turning point for Claude's forceful and aggressive actions, was very likely the event that he killed his own brother. We see traces of 3 Houses Claude, him trying to reason with Shahid and wanting to talk things out but alas, Shahid doesn't care and Claude ultimately makes the decision to kill him. Post-battle, we see Claude is very clearly affected by that event.

6 months later, Claude reforms the Alliance into the Leicester Federation and is placed as its king.

Perhaps it's all the stress built up from the war. The Alliance has been going through battle after battle and it's taking a toll on him. It doesn't help that because he wasn't in the Academy for a year to get to know his classmates and learn to trust others, he feels like as the Alliance Leader (as of Part 1), he has to shoulder all the decisions and be responsible for everything that happens. The Roundtable Conferences don't help with his frustrations either.

Through supports and the story itself, Claude has shown signs of disdain for the Alliance's system, but he hasn't really seen the need to change it, although it is inefficient. Then Shez comes along and goes, "Hey, why don't you make yourself the sole leader so decisions will go by faster during wartime?" and it opens up a possibility he hadn't even thought about. If he becomes the sole leader and doesn't need to go through the endless circling of decisions waiting for all 5 lords to come to a unanimous decision, things will be done faster and he can do what he wants to do quicker.

Back to Shahid's death and his impact on Claude's mental state - it definitely changed him. Perhaps after making the choice to kill his own blood, he made the decision to no longer hold back. He can't be too "soft" or hesitant anymore. He needs to be more resolved in his decisions and perhaps that is why we see the Claude we see in 3 Hopes. The aggressive, cutthroat Claude who doesn't consider choosing to hear people out. This can be seen in his decision to send troops to the 3 lords' territories to create public order instead of Lorenz's suggestion to send an envoy first. Claude even says that they'll "probably make half-baked excuses anyway" and that there's no point talking things out. This is pretty much where I've left off from the game, but it's clear that Shahid's refusal to reason with him still affects him.

I do think that perhaps the writers could have shown that a bit more, but Claude is way more reserved in his emotions and willingness to express himself and it may have been difficult to show that internal turmoil. Either way, I still think calling Claude's change of character, "character assassination" is going too far especially if you don't consider the prior events and the what-if's and differences in situation and events that occur between both games.

119 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

I have a big weakness for self-aware, yandere characters so your headcanons are a miracle to me. Could you do something with Deuce where the player always compliments him whenever they get a card or see him? He is my best boy and I love him so darn much that I always louldy anounce it when I see him :,) Thank you!

A/N: Figured I should get this out since the 2022 January Masterchef event and the New Years event are so Deuce-focused. (he's a good boy and I love him)

Yan! Sentient! Twst AU - Deuce being complimented

Every time Deuce receives a compliment, he can't help but feel all warm and shy inside

You're just so nice! So kind! The fact that you acknowledge his efforts and his presence is so rewarding. He sometimes feels like he doesn't deserve all that praise

The compliments you give him fuels his desire to make sure the mirror gives you his cards more often - his Dorm SSR, his Birthday Suit SSR and more!

Unfortunately, despite having a UM, his magic still isn't strong enough to really have much of an effect on the gacha system

It does mean however, that your praise has a greater effect on the blue-haired first year

"You came home! My precious boy!"

Deuce has to do everything in his power to not overload in embarrassment

Yes, he's your precious boy and he hopes he won't ever lose that position

He's also especially thankful towards the developers of the game whenever he gets an event that he features in

It just means that you'll be paying more attention to him!

Deuce truly hopes that you'll always love him and that your attention and love for him doesn't wane any time soon.

If it does, he'll be truly heartbroken...

309 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

Yandere! Mammon and his obsession with being "first"

Mild/Implied NSFW

Note: This is slightly spicy, and completely unprompted. Just something that's been sitting in the back of my mind lol. Please don't send me NSFW requests! My NSFW rule still applies to even mild spicy requests.

Mammon who learns that you're a virgin who's never had their first kiss

Mammon who insists on taking all your firsts upon learning about it, cockblocking all his brothers when they attempt to have some alone time with you; he can't risk you casually giving away your first kiss or first time to someone else, after all

"[Name], you've never had your first kiss?"

His eyes are wide, and his body trembling with pure ecstasy

"If you haven't then... I'll do it! I, the Great Mammon will be the one to give you all your firsts! After all, I am your first demon!"

If you let him, he's over the moon, bragging about it to anyone in passing

If not, well...he hates to do it, but he'll have to take it by force

Cornering you in your room, forcing you down on the bed as he steals your first kiss, impatiently undressing you, eager to take everything

Mammon's not going to let this chance slip by

He's the avatar of Greed and he's desperate to take and take whatever you've got

359 notes - Posted February 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Yandere! Asmo has been on my mind a lot lately

Mildly spicy headcanons, so mild you'll barely notice it

Asmo who claims to be so deeply in love that he wants everything about you

He wants to be in you, in some way or another and vice versa

Exceptionally clingy

"Hey MC, why don't we take a bath together? Just you and me~?"

If you refuse...well, he'll just take whatever you may have left behind

your bathwater

Absolutely loves it if you ever borrow his makeup or skincare products

It's like having his scent all over you!

May or may not take up the habit of using your lipbalm or lip products on his own

It's an indirect kiss! How romantic, no? Though he'd much prefer the real deal

Hates it if you ever wear someone else's perfume or get someone's scent on you

"Hey, whose shampoo did you use?"

"Mammon's?! Why didn't you ask me?!"

This simply won't do. He's dragging you to the bathroom to smother anything of his own onto your body

It's how he stakes his claim on you, after all

366 notes - Posted March 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

2 notes · View notes

casualreader1234 · 4 years ago

Text

Reunion

Pairing: Natasha x Reader

An: Part two of the random story idea I had. I think I'm just going to keep the same summary each time because I'm too bad at writing them. I tried to make this gender-neutral, and I don't think I wrote anything that would imply a particular sex, but let me know.

Summary: What if you weren't the hero of the story? What if you were the villain meant to burn the world down?

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warning: Morally gray protagonist, violence

Word Count: 2k

[Part 1], [Part 2]

This gif is so funny to me.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

When you had first arrived in the U.S, you had been intrigued by tales of the infamous Black Widow, a former Russian assassin turned good, that was enough to catch anyone's attention. To satisfy your curiosity, you had tracked her down, wanting to see her for yourself. Watching her from afar, you understood why she was considered one of the best in her field: her movements always flowed into the next like she was performing a dance.

She easily disposed of her targets, strapping her weapons back onto herself. Seeing the completion of her job, you left the ledge of the building you had been standing of before she could see you. Slipping into the shadow, you had to admit that your interests had been piqued by the assassin.

///

You had always known that your girlfriend had been hiding secrets, but this one was far more exciting than you had thought. Never had it crossed your mind that Natasha might also be involve in the assassin industry. For such a planet, what were the chances of two assassins meeting and starting a relationship without either being the wiser. You weren't sure if that made her exceptionally good at her job, or you exceptionally bad at yours.

Asking around to some of your other contacts, you learned more about the KGB and the Red Room program that had trained Natasha, wanting a glimpse into her childhood. Disgust and rage filled you when you learned about the operation. They had hurt her, so you had made sure they all suffered for their crimes. Then, you returned back to America.

It was the reason you had stayed all these years. She was the reason. Though you've known where she's been all this time, you never revealed yourself. Maybe it was out of fear. Maybe it was out of shame.

It hadn't surprised you that Natasha decided to work for SHIELD. You've also known that she had a good heart, but it did make things more complicated.

She was one of the good guys now. If she ever crossed paths with you, she would be forced to face you as an enemy. So, for both of your sakes, you avoided doing things that would get SHIELD attention, carefully selecting jobs that would run under the radar. You had been careful, erasing most of your tracks, yet here you were, chained down to a table in a SHIELD facility.

Natalia-no-Natasha stared down at you. You unconsciously cringed under her intense gaze.

" How are you darling?" You asked, breaking the thick silence and giving her a small smile. "I must say, you look as stunning as always. Did you do something to your hair? It seems to be shorter."

Natasha didn't reply, instead shaking her head angrily. " What the hell, (Y/n). What are you doing in the U.S?"

Her harsh tone almost made you flinch. “ Here to visit my beautiful girlfriend? I've really missed you.” You tried, feeling a bead of sweat roll down your neck. Natasha may not have any powers but damn was this woman scary when she was mad. Flattery wasn't going to work on Nat though, her face stone cold as she looked down at you.

"That doesn't answer the question, milyy (darling)." She replied with a strained smile.

Tony watched the exchange with a slack jaw, eyes looking like they were going to pop out of his sockets from shock. “ I’m sorry? You know this criminal Nat?”

Your head snapped to the man, jaw clenching. “ Nat?" You sputtered at the intimate nickname. "Who gave you permission to call her Nat?” You swiveled back to look at Natasha. “What is your relationship with him?” You asked accusingly.

Natasha rolled her eyes, turning to Tony. “ Don’t call me Nat, Stark. And this idiot here is (Y/N).”

"Yeah, her [girlfriend/boyfriend] ! " You added helpfully.

The look Natasha gave you was deadly enough to silence you again. She turned her attention back to Tony, " Do you want to fill me on what's happening Stark? I return from a mission and hear from Steve that we had caught a mutant, but I wasn't even aware that we were after one." You frowned at the fact that had she referred to you as a mutant, but chose to ignore it.

Tony shrugged, acting like a bratty overgrown child," No, I don't want to." Natasha's jaw clenched and you decided to lend a helping hand.

Tendrils of black suddenly snaked around Tony, pining him hard against the wall behind him. His eyes widened, shooting to the origin of the magic, seeing you now unbounded and smiling widely at him, the handcuff hanging loosely off the table. Standing up, you rubbed at the red marks on your wrist left by the binds.

"Better answer her, Mr. Stark, I wouldn't want to get on her bad side." You threatened, eyes turning pure black for a split second.

Tony desperately looked at Natasha for help, but she stayed steadfast, unmoved and patiently waiting for him to answer. Realizing that no help was coming, he relented. "Fury got tipped off about some assassin that had been piling up bodies all across the U.S and North America. At first we dismissed them as the work of sporadic killers, not linking the deaths together until we got another tip about them being a mutant. We had Wanda examine a few of the bodies and she confirmed that magic was the cause of death. Since then, we've had our eye set on a contracted killer who went by the alias Reaper. A few weeks ago, we got a hit on their last location, and from there, we planned our trap."

Realization dawned onto you, " You put a bounty over yourself!" You exclaimed with a chuckle, thoroughly impressed by their commitment. It was a good plan, one that you hadn't even considered. Of course, if it had been any other week, the plan would've failed.

Every time you used magic, there was a backlash. The magic was deep inside you, a part of your very being, but it didn't stay that way willingly. The black flames were a dark and ancient form of magic, one that could only be wielded by a select few. Long ago, many groups had tried to master the arts, but most failed. The magic was powerful, more than anyone really knew, and only grew more so as it consumed more energy. Magicians didn't as much wield the magic, as they did subjugate it.

Candidates trained for years in preparation for the infusion, getting their body ready to handle massive amount of energy. When they were deemed ready, they would be exposed to a pure form of the magic. The flames would consume them and their screams could be heard for miles. Most people who entered the last trial end up dead, completely consumed by the magic. A few though, came out stronger. Instead of being consumed by the flames, they had somehow consumed the flames, magic now flowing through their veins.

Even then, the magic inside of wielders fought against their vessels, constantly trying to escape. The ring you wore helped you control the magic inside, absorbing some of the power and trapping the rest of the flames within you, where it couldn't escape and grow any stronger. But every time you took off the ring, you unintentionally let the magic grow, and when it finally returns back to you, the fight inside gets a little tougher.

Normally, it didn't affect you much. You had been trained since childhood to control the magic, so you could go hours with continuous magic use without any major repercussion. But the past month, you had really tested your bounds, toeing the limits of your control. This inevitably degraded your mental state, leaving your mind a little hazy. This meant you were a lot more impulsive and less observant, something that played in favor to SHIELD's trap. You knew you shouldn't have taken the hit on Tony, especially due to your exhaustion, but you had let your excitement of possibly seeing Natasha blind you. Nevertheless, the current situation didn't really worry you anyways, although you made a note to deal with a problem later.

"And why wasn't I informed of this?" Natasha pressed on.

"Don't take it personally. You're area of skills weren't required for the job, so you weren't informed. Simple as that." Tony plainly stated, clearly sensing the Russian's agitation.

You had to stifle your laughter at the irony. If Natasha had been assigned to the case earlier, you probably would've been captured much sooner.

Natasha bit the inside of her cheek, obviously deep in thought as well. " Release him, (Y/N)." She finally said and you happily obliged, but not sliding you ring back on, letting the flames surround you in a hazy aura incase you needed to react to any threats. Tony let out of breathe of relief as your magic retreated, but you could see that he was still a bit shaken up, the effects not fully wearing off.

"Hey are you alright darling?" You asked concernedly, ignoring the wobbling man when you caught Natasha looking a little pale. Walking over to where she was, you reached out a hand to lightly caress her cheek, the flames retreating as it reached her. You hesitated for a split second, unsure of how she would react, but Natasha leaned into your touch. Her eyes met yours. It was the same bright green that you dreamt about, and they looked even more dazzling up close. She smiled up at you and it was like all the years you've spent apart hadn't happened.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She whispered reassuringly and you smiled too in relief. “ What does Fury want with the (Y/N)?” She asked Tony, but her eyes didn't leave you.

“ The same thing we do to all threats. We either eliminate or imprison them .” He answered, voice indifferent.

Natasha turned to him, much to your dismay, “Why can’t we accept them into SHIELD?” she offered instead.

Tony, who had thought your weird relationship with Natasha was the strangest thing that could happen, couldn't believe what he was hearing. “You want to let an assassin into our ranks? Are you crazy?! Did you already get your hands on the vodka shelf?” He stammered.

Natasha gave him a dark look, one that sent a chill of excitement down your spine, “I was an assassin too Tony.”

Tony didn’t seem to know how to respond to that, but he didn’t need to. The door to the room swung opened again, this time a larger blonde man marching in. You recognized him from your intel: Steve Rogers-Captain America. Behind him, you saw several heavily armed agents behind him, their guns trained on you.

Natasha whipped around at the sudden intrusion, surprise flashing across her face. " Steve." She said warningly, noticing the same things you did, but Steve didn't let her finish, already throwing out his shield in attack. The metal was launched at you, cutting through the air faster than the eyes could follow.

You easily caught it, magic stopping it mid-flight.

You sighed at his pathetic attempt, " Mr. Rogers, don't you know it's rude to interrupt? You can't just come in here, guns blazing, and shield flying." You reprimanded, lazily throwing the shield back to the man. Steve tried to catch the shield, but was knocked back by the sheer force of your throw. The men immediately behind him stumbled back in shock as the 6'1 super solider crashed into them. Those who were left standing quickly recovered and upon realizing that their first line of attack had been beaten, prepared to shoot. They found themselves unable to. Fear had crept up on them during the ruckus and now they were unable to move as your magic seeped through them. With a simple wave of your hand, the black flames around you attacked and within seconds, all the agents, including Cap, dropped to the floor.

"What?" Tony gasped in horror, and for the first time, he seemed to truly understand the extent of your power.

"Relax, they're not dead. I just knocked them out for-" You pretended to check your wrist for a watch, " -a while. I don't know, I usually don't wait around for the people I knock out to wake back up."

Natasha was staring in shock at the pile of bodies by the door and you saw something indistinguishable in her eyes. A distinct chime echoed off the walls of the room, drawing your attention to your phone in the corner. You walked over to it, Tony looking like he wanted to stop you but was too terrified to. Picking it up, you read the message silently. Shouting could be heard getting louder, footsteps pounding towards you as alarms blared.

"Looks like that's my cue to leave." You announced to Natasha and Tony. " Sorry to cut our reunion short Talia."

Natasha stepped forward, blinking out of her shock. "(Y/N) wait-!" She began.

"Don't worry, I think I'll be staying a little bit longer in New York. We'll see each other soon my love." You promised, picking up one of the fallen agent's guns and shooting out the lights until you were enveloped in pitch darkness. Then, before the backup agents could arrive, you melted away into the shadows.

///

You emerged from a dark alleyway in some shifty part of the Bronx. Pulling out your phone, you replied to Matt, your associate, declining the new job he had sent over, informing him that you would be taking a vacation for a while.

Seeing Natasha had reminded you of how much you actually missed her, and you didn't want to just leave New York yet, not when you barely had the chance to catch up with your lover.

But first, you had a snitch to catch. Someone had tipped off SHIELD about you. Someone who knew you about your power at that. You couldn't let someone so dangerous live.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------Powers of Reader [Will be updated as more information is learned about Reader]

-Ability to set fear in opponents

-Ability to melt into shadows (teleportation like: goes into one shadow, pops up somewhere else)

-Magic flames that kill people(?) and knocks them out(?)

-Major simp for Natasha (special skill)

#natasha romanoff #natasha x you #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #marvel fanfic series

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spade-snax · 4 years ago

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Alright! Here goes my Bugsnax Grumpus last name headcanon!

(This ended up being way longer than I thought it would've been, oh god-)

I think we all can agree that the headcanon where a Grumpus child has their parent's combined last names as their own last name is a very common headcanon people share. It's a good one! Even I like it a lot. And when applied to OCs or fankids it makes for some hilarious names.

It'd make sense in-canon and I feel like it gives the Grumpus world more depth as their own little tradition. (Honestly give me ANY culture/tradition headcanon for Grumpuses PLEASE THOSE ARE MY FAVORITEEEE I even had one for teeth a while ago that I may share publicly one day!!)

But I've been thinking about this, especially because of Cromdo and my own OCs - Neddy and Rason Honeyfidget. With Rason being Neddy's dad, if we only used this headcanon then Neddy shouldn't have this last name... Well, there's a lore reason why he doesnt and that is that his mother has died while he was still an egg, a while before hatching. Rason made him take on "Honeyfidget" only.

But that's just the backstory that got me thinking at the name traditions as a whole, so I'll try to avoid OC talk any further to make this friendlier for others who do not know about my OCs and are just interested in reading this headcanon.

Another headcanon I want to mention as I apply it to my own is the headcanon that Triffany changed her last name to Bronica's last name as a way to honor her. You can definitely change your name to anything you want in the Grumpus world, but changing your last name to a relative's like your grandparent's last name is possibly quite common!

And now I want to bring up Cromdo and the fact he is divorced. It has been confirmed that Cromdo is divorced and that his name may reflect that. (Though originally it was answered in the AMA that "Cromdo Face" just sounded funny at first and that it is possible that he did loose a half of his last name this way!)

Also I want to say that he wasn't abusive to the child mentioned! I remember there was a small confusion and drama about that. And I believe one of the devs on the YH discord mentioned that the 1# tie was a reference to Octodad. I do not remember if that confirmed that he is a father or if this answer by Sage was possibly wrong. He cannot see the child because he lost custody of them and lost in court. I do not have screenshot evidence of this. On a side-note I believe this could be one of the reasons he grew to be so money hungry. He didn't have enough money back then to keep his child. Again I want to say it could be ONE of the reasons and not the exact reason why he is this way.

This is more so of an ramble about my headcanon and what I want to say rather than some comprehensive thing, I am so sorry dfwergeg it's just how I write and explain things and I gotta mention it ALL (Great addition to "Guzma, your ADHD is showing")

Anyways, back on track with my HC.

But in this/my headcanon - Cromdo is divorced, he has had a child, and lost a part of his last name because of the divorce. I do not know how human marriage last name and stuff works properly so uh, see this as just speculation about a fictional species' culture rather than a carbon copy of our own. Which it clearly isn't LOL

I personally think that you can do multiple things with your last name when you get married! (And how it can affect the child's last name!)

Let's use Chandlo and Snorpy as examples, because I think they make great last name combinations. (And Snorplo is HELLA !!/pos)

- You can change your last name to your partner's last name, like we do commonly. (At least, with all the cultures I'm aware of and how marriage works for us.) Examples: Snorpy Funkbun, Chandlo Fizzlebean

(This one isn't very common to do!)

- You can change one half of your last name to a half from your partner's last name. Examples: Snorpy/Chandlo Funkbun/Fizzlebun

(Not as common either, but it still happens. It is actually more common than the first example. This was the case for Cromdo. I'll get back to this later. Grumps usually reserve this for their childen, which is the most common way of naming your children!)

- You keep your last name after marriage! Example: Snorpy Fizzlebean. Chandlo Funkbun. Canon examples would be Wambus and Triffany as well!

(Most common one to do as many wear their last names with pride or for other reasons - such as Trifanny when she changed her last name to Bronica's last name in this headcanon.)

Before we get to the kids again, I'm gonna go back to Cromdo and what can happen during divorce.

During divorce you can simply change your name back if you changed it, or keep the last name you took from your partner. Many simply change their last names back to what they were originally. Some, if they went by the half/half method, take away the half from their ex-partner only. This leaves some Grumpuses with one worded last names, such as Cromdo.

I think he changed a half of his last name during marriage. After the divorce, he didn't want to "wear" his partner's name anymore and changed his name to Cromdo Face only as Face was a part of his last name he was given at birth. This is most often the default for Grumpuses who have been divorced and took only half of their partner's last name.

If Cromdo - (or any Grumpus with a one-word last name! There's certainly rare cases of Grumpuses who have one word that didn't go through divorce. Possibly Grumpuses with bad attachment to one of their parents - so they change or remove that half of the last name they got from said parent. If their last name was a combination.) - were to re-marry he could take one half of his new partner's last name, or not change his name at all.

I want to get onto how naming a child would work with this situation, so I will talk about ways of naming children before I get back to this! And by naming I of course mean the last names only, lol.

(One rule is that, unless you change your name later in real life for any reason, it's gonna have to be one of these otherwise! Your Grump parent cannot make you up a new last name. It is just a part of the tradition they have. Though re-naming isn't looked upon in any way by the majority of Grumpuses as there are many reasons to do so!! Unless you're a jerk or you value your last name TOO much.) (Also when I say "you" I don't mean YOU as the reader literally. I mean a hypothetical Grumpus child!! It's just how I like wording things.

(...I've been writing for almost an hour, brain scrampled eg)

- Your last name is the combined name of your parent's last names. Examples: Fizzlebun, Funkbean

(VERY COMMON! Most Grumpuses will do this when first naming their child!)

- Your keep one of your parent's last name! Fizzlebean or Funkbun.

(This all works if you have multiple parents btw! Can make for SUPER crazy long and funny last names. This *all* applies to marriage, too! I hope it is easily applicable. I do not want to go in depth on that. Feel free to hit me an ask about this if you want me to explain it more in depth!! I wouldn't want to exclude polyamorous relationships ^^ )

(Also yes, last names that are just the same word repeated twice/multiple times are possible too. Fizzlefizzle, Funkfunk... How fun are these to say? Gives me Grumpus OC name ideas already.)

But yes! Back to Cromdo! Or any Grumpus in the same situation, but as I've stater earlier, Cromdo is just an example here. If he were to re-marry and NOT change his name, there's two posibilities:

His new partner has a full last name.

In this situation, if they have a child they can keep the full last name from Cromdo's partner. Or they can have one word from his partner + Face. For reasons stated below the child cannot have "Face" as their only last name.

His new partner has a one-worded, short last name like he does.

In this situation, if they have a child they have to name it a combination of their last name's. No exception. Having a short last name is a sign of something happening in your life, and it is traditionally not put onto a child, unless they are adopted with no last name. That still counts as something that happened in their life, as their birth parents possibly just gave them away with no care in the world.

------------------------------------------

At this point I am almost completely off track, so please do ask me questions as I am not sure where I completely left off - Or rather if there is something I forgot that I wanted to mention.

By the way, for combining last names and such, you can also mis-match! Doesn't even have to be combinations. This applies to everything, even for (Full last name + one-word last names) where it makes sense the most. Examples: Beanfizzle, Bunfunk, Bunbean, Bunfizzle, Beanbun, Beanfunk. I'm personally a big fan of Bunfunk and Beanbun :P)

And this applies to siblings, too! It isn't uncommon for parents naming their children mis-matched last name combinations if they have multiple ones. (This ties into my headcanon for Filbo's many siblings and that he isn't a single child. He's in a big household and has at least 2 siblings. ONE OF WHICH I want to make into an OC! This requires me to make the parents, too, but I am not so bothered about that :P)

I'm out for now, all my brain power has left me a few paragraphs ago and I've got to go eat lunch

But again I encourage people to ask me questions (If anyone was brave enough to read through this!!)

And if I got anything wrong, do let me know! I am not all-knowing and I could've missed some VERY OBVIOUS mistakes.

And sorry if the writing is wonky at times! Sometimes it is done on purpose but sometimes the fact I only pretend I know how to write + the fact English is my second language IS SHOWING

(Also I sometimes just write how I think, without much thought put into the sentence if I don't proof read, so HSDFWERGRGT)

#bugsnax #longpost #long post #long #bugsnax hc #bugsnax headcanons #bugsnax headcanon #i wanna make sure i tag this right edfwerg #brain scrampled eg.....

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the-whitewolfie · 4 years ago

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Breaking with The Order // F.W.

Summary: After losing your parents you and your much younger sister were on your own. You couldn’t leave her without you. So you had to break with The Order, and break with him, to keep yourself and your sister safe.

Word Count: 2k

Warning: Angst

You gave your little sister a tight hug before leaving her with your sweet neighbour from a few doors down. The mission should go smoothly, however, it might take all evening, so this was your best bet, seeing as you couldn’t leave her at home on her own, and you most definitely couldn’t bring her along.

You walked into the house on Privet Drive with Fred alongside you. Your hand in his. Stood beside him as Mad-eye went over the details of tonight's event.

"None of us really fancy it, mate. Imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as specky, scrawny gits forever!"

Amongst the pressing situation Fred still managed to make you chuckle. However you cringed when you watched him take a sip of the polyjuice potion as he instantly turned more and more into Harry Potter.

With his broomstick in hand he leant in for a kiss. You pushed him away with a light hand to his chest, not allowing his lips or was it Harry's lips to touch yours. It all seemed too real. “Not when you’re like this. I’ll gladly kiss you when we land safely at the Burrow and you’re back to being just Fred”.

“I’ll take you up on that darling”. He sent you a crooked smile, although it didn’t have quite the same effect on you, when he was like this. He mounted his broomstick, and you yours as you sent him a look that radiated the sheer nervousness you felt, pleading for him to be okay.

Things went south. All the way to the Burrows it was one curse after the other. You’d nearly fell off the broom six or seven times, and just missed Bellatrix’s attempts to kill quite a few.

Back at the Burrows you ran into the house. He had to be here by now. You went in, your eyes immediately went to the couch. Internal panic hit in the instant it took you to recognize the bleeding ginger to be George and not Fred. He was crouched beside him.

Locking distraughtly around, you could see the cuts and small wounds on everyone's faces.

“Mad-eye is dead,” said Bill, the oldest Weasley brother.

This was all too much.

“I can’t. I..” you backed away in a hurry, out of the house. Running for a bit and apparated to outside your apartment. You went in, slid down against the door, sobbing with tears streaming down your face. Thankful that your neighbour was taking care of you sister for the night, so she didn’t have to see you like this.

“Where’s y/n?” panic seeped through him, the moment he turned away from his bleeding twin brother. “Where is she?!”

“She was just here” Ron turned to look in the direction where he’d seem you.

“and you couldn’t keep an eye on her, could you?”

Ron gestured to his brother on the couch. “Seems there were more pressing matters, than looking after your girlfriend! Who by the way made it here safely”

Fred ran out, the rest of the order hot on his heels. “Y/N!” “Y/N!!”

There was no reply. Outside of the Burrow was completely quiet, except for him screaming your name as he ran frantically around in search of you. With fast strides he ran inside, to his own bedroom, losing faith when he didn’t hear any sounds even as he got closer.

You weren’t there

“Where is she?” His loud voice cracking at the end. He had to find you. He pushed past every one of the others. The next moment he was by your house. The loud determined knocking, made you scurry away from the door, wand in hand for protection.

“y/n! darling are you here?”. he had to be yelling on the other side of the door, seeing as the volume was quite high, even inside your apartment.

The banging continued. You raised your wand to open the door for him, and he leapt inside. The look of relief was prominent on his features.

“You promised me a kiss babe”.

Even before he could send that crooked smile, he had tried to earlier. The initial shock of the possible intruder left your body, and you broke down onto the floor, your cheeks stained with waterfalls of tears. He went to your side in an instant, clutching you to his chest as you cried and cried and cried, till the both of you were merely sobbing.

“I can’t do this” your sorrow filled eyes looked at him. “I can’t put my life at risk like that- My baby sister needs me”. You got up and paced across the kitchen floor. He got up and approached you “no-” holding out your arm to tell him to remain distant.

“Babe, it’s alright. I’m not asking you to keep being a part of this”. He took a step forward, and you a step backwards.

“and I can’t stay at home waiting for you to come, not knowing if today is the day you don’t”

“You know I can’t abandon The Order. It’s my family I’m trying to protect them” the physical distance leaving him slightly nauseous, the emotional distance however was unbearable.

“As am I, Fred” you backed away again when he tried to reach you “we can’t stay together. My heart couldn’t bear it.”

“What?” You didn’t think he could look anymore sorrowful than just before, but the change was apparent. “Don’t do this y/n. I love you”

“And I love you Fred. That’s why we can’t continue on.” He stepped towards you again. “Don’t!” Your eyes locked on his. “You need to go”.

“I won’t leave you like this, let me sta-“.

“No Fred. It’ll only make it harder. Please go now” once again the tears were pouring from your eyes. His as well.

He gave a final plea with his eyes to which you turned around. It would be easier not to see him go. “Take care y/n” he whispered.

You heard the door shut behind him.

Immediately going under the covers only to stay under them for what seems like days. If it hadn’t been for your sister, you would have stayed there forever.

Fred came back home pale as a ghost, tears still staining his cheeks.

“Oh dear. You didn’t find her? We’ll search-”. He interrupted his mother “She bloody ended it between us”. He dragged his feet across the living room and up the stairs to his room, followed by the eyes of his twin, who was still on the couch and his mother who too started to sob when she realised her son's major heartbreak.

3 years years later:

The excitement was displayed with her whole body. Your sister had recently gotten her Hogwarts acceptance letter and bounced up and down as the two of you strolled through Diagon Alley for her school essentials.

You’d avoided this street for obvious reasons, but this was the only place that allowed for you to get every supply she needed. Hoping so much she wouldn’t pay attention to his store.

“That’s Fred!” She pointed to the tall statue outside his shop. And there he was, a very visual reminder of the man you had lost those years ago. You keep forgetting that your little sister lost him too on the night you told him to leave. She kept asking for him, when he missed dinner the next Thursday nights or asking when he’d stop by, until you had to tell her that he wasn't coming back to you. You’d lie if you said you hadn’t thought about him since, you had even asked Hermione about him when you ran into her about a year ago, shocked to hear he almost didn’t make it through the war.

“Can we go in? Do you think he still sells those funny-“

“Not today sweetheart. We have quite many things we need to get from your list”. It wouldn’t be fair to him to turn up out of the blue and what would you even say. You took one last look at the giant figure of your previous lover, before heading towards the first shop, arm in arm with your now not as content sister.

After a while you carried a stack of books and on top of those a big birdcage with an astonishingly looking great grey owl inside. Not being able to see much, but wanting to help with the heavy lifting.

“FRED!” your sister squealed and ran off. Oh no. Although your eyes still searched for him through the bars of the cage and through the crowd. You spotted his ginger hair towering over seemingly everybody, with your sister now wrapped around his torso. He picked her up and spun her around. “I’ve missed you sweetheart”. He looked around for you, in the direction your sister had attacked him from, and saw you there behind the birdcage. Instantly coming to your aid, taking it in his hands. “That looks like Errol”.

“She picked her out herself. We’re still trying to figure out a name for her”. You looked into his eyes now for the first time in those three years. Small talk felt awfully shallow at a time like this. “Maybe I can help with a name. Give me that Fred” Ginny was at his side, you had only noticed now. “We’ll be just over in the shop if you don't mind?” you shook your head all the while, your eyes stayed on him and Ginny went to the shop with your sister.

“It’s good to see you darling”

“You too. I’m glad you’re okay. I heard what happened during the war...”

His hand reached forward for you arm. A simple gesture.

“Let’s not talk about that now. I’m here aren't I?”

“I’m sorry” you took his hand in yours “about what happened between us”.

“Don’t be darling. I don’t blame you for nothing. However my mom took it hard. I did too”

You looked down. Your hand falling from his.

“Hey y/n, it’s alright. My mother would never blame you either, she probably blames me the most. She usually does” He scrunched his nose but you knew he was telling the truth. He really did get the blame a lot in the Weasley household. Although perhaps with good reasoning. And thankfully his joking nature changed the atmosphere a bit.

“Will you give her my regards? She’s family after all. She’ll always be family to me” This made him smile. Like a madman even. His eyes crinkled. “She’ll be so happy to hear from you”.

“Y/N, FRED! I named her Opal. Think I’ll call her buttercup though” You sister came running referring to the owl. Ginny in tow.

“See I like that sweetheart. Am I allowed to send you a letter every now and again?” When your sister nodded eagerly, his eyes went to yours for your approval. You gave him a smile. How could you not.

“And you y/n. Am I allowed to send you a letter”. He left you breathless with his hopeful eyes. You nodded slowly. “Assuming you don't send letters to any other women currently.”

“I don’t”

“Good”

“Listen I have to go back” he gestured to the shop “it’s our busiest time of year, and I left poor George alone in charge”.

“I’ll cover for you!” Ginny said quickly. “I know my way around the store and I can easily do the register. Angelina is there too, I recon she’d willingly help our dear Georgie out as well” She looked at you. “Maybe I could be accompanied by your sister?”.

“Please I haven’t been there in so long!” Your sister said “I know you said-”

“Sure you can!” You hurried your answer, not wanting Fred to know you actually did try to avoid bumping into him in the first place.

You looked to Fred. Who was beaming, and thanking his sister a million times in his head. “Sure. Thanks Ginny” Now onto you “Would you fancy grabbing lunch with me then. We’re both free now aren’t we?”.

#fred weasly x reader #fred weasley angst #my first fic 😳

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donkey-hyuck · 5 years ago

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Bus Ride Away

^^ song based off of Bryce Xavier

A/N- the lyrics are italicized, whether they are dialogue or included into the story separately. And in no way is this story based on the title (sorry) just based off of the lyrics and meaning. A lot of cursing! Lots of time skips

Word count- 6.9k

Genre- angst/ some fluff/ post breakup! Au/ college! Au (almost half of the story)

Characters/pairing- jung jaehyun X Fem! Reader (not really bc they don’t get back together, sorry if that’s not what you wanted but it’s my story lol😝)/ Johnny Seo/ mentions Mark and Taeyong/ original characters (Byeol, Hina)/ extras that aren’t prominent to the story.

Introducing- after three long years of loving him, your love died out. Jung Jaehyun had been your high school sweetheart and you wouldn’t have it any other way. From junior year in high school to your freshman year in university, you gave each other your all. After ending it on good terms, you moved on easily. While your ex lover had less luck with falling out of love with you. Years had passed by and Jung Jaehyun still had so much love for you, and when you received an email from “an old friend” you definitely weren’t expecting it to be him.

The lyrics of the song that are mentioned are NOT in order of how the song goes.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Falling in love with Jung Jaehyun at sixteen was all you could ever ask for. He was the star athlete during all seasons, he had high marks when it came to academics, he was a part of the dance club, and he sang so well when auditioning for plays that the school held, getting the lead role almost instantly.

Falling in love with you at sixteen was all Jaehyun could ever ask for. You were a part of the tutoring service at school, captain of the girls volleyball team, head of the theatrics, a part of the student council, and was the lead singer during choir.

The two of you were the idol couple. Of course people were jealous of one or the other. Hell, students from across town admired the two of you. As a couple, you and Jaehyun had been a part of so much during school and extracurricular activities, helping students, teachers, and the community. There was just so much cheer whenever you two were around. And you remained as a couple through senior year graduation, making people think the two of you would last forever, for sure.

But somewhere during the first semester of your freshman year in university, your love for Jung Jaehyun had slowly dialed down. Too caught up in your music- theory and composition major and communications major, you had realized you didn’t have enough time for Jaehyun. The two majors you were enrolled in were quite opposite therefore, meaning that you didn’t have enough time to share with Jaehyun. It was upsetting because you loved the man so much, but you wanted to have a good job, and you wanted him to excel at life. Being in a relationship was something you had never seen in your life, always thinking it was a bit of a burden. So when Jung Jaehyun had asked you out, it took some time to respond and reciprocate his feelings. And when you agreed to go out with Jaehyun, he treated you like a small chinese porcelain doll. You meant everything to him.

“Can you meet me at the lake near campus? I need to tell you something.” It was so nerve wracking as your fingers moved across the keyboard on the screen. Contemplating on sending it, you acquired that it was bound to happen at some point. And now was that time. Walking toward the small lake you and Jaehyun would meet when you needed to relieve your stress, shivers had crawled down your spine and through your whole body.

“Hey, what did you want to talk about?” Asked Jaehyun from the little arched bridge. Nervousness filled you up again, you were not expecting him to be there first. You had wanted to reach the lake first in hopes you could practice, for the nth time, what you were going to say.

“Jaehyun…” you exhaled the breath you held in. “I didn’t know how to say this and I practiced saying this for a while. Just know that this is for the best and I love you so much.... But, I think we should call it off. University is getting to my head and I don’t want to cause any pain to you when seeing me stressed out about my life. I want the best for you and that’s not with me anymore. I’m incredibly sorry and I love you more than words can explain. You showed me what the statement high school sweethearts meant. I’m so appreciative of having someone like you in my life. You taught me how to live, you taught me how to be brave, you taught me how to love. But we have to move on now, our lives will only get more complicated from here. And from the bottom of my heart, I’ll always love you endlessly.” It was quiet for some time before Jaehyun looked up and smiled a bittersweet smile, with tears rimming his almond eyes you were sure you were going to miss. “I don’t want to, but I agree. This is for the best of us and I know that’s all you want for me. It’s sad, I definitely wasn’t expecting this when you asked to meet. But I know your feelings are genuine and I don’t want to keep you from achieving your dream. I’ll love you endlessly and when you release music, I’ll be your number one fan.” Tears dripped down his face as you both chuckled. Lifting your hand and wiping the tears you’d barely seen after three years, tears filled your eyes too. “Don’t cry, or else you’ll make me cry,” you whined and he laughed, resting his hand on yours that lied on his cheek. “I’ll love you until the end of time.” He closed his eyes, “I think you should go now, it’s getting pretty late. And I know you have work to do. We‘ll stay as friends, yeah?” Nodding. “Of course we will.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Four years. It had been four years since your breakup with Jung Jaehyun. It was funny, remembering to stay friends, but that never happened. While looking forward to seeing your new, old, friend it seemed that he didn’t want to be linked with you, which was weird since he was the one to suggest it. But you couldn’t blame him if he never wanted to see you again, you broke the guys heart. Moving on from Jung Jaehyun was easier than you had initially thought, considering he was your first true love, you’d taken the breakup better than you believed you would, and didn’t think much past that.

It was the night of your graduation. Your friends had begged you to attend the party since you’re no longer going to be in school, unless you wanted an associates or master’s degree. “Come on Y/N! You’ve been so cooped up in your apartment all these years. We’ve graduated and now we can get our lives situated,” said Byeol. “Ooh, okay! Fine… But I’m not drinking. And if anything happens I’m getting my ass out of that frat house.” Hina and Byeol screeched in joy. “Thank you! We love you so much.”

Arriving at Yuta’s apartment complex, Hina and Byeol practically dragged you to the roof, where the party was happening. Opening the door, people who attended your university greeted your popular and outgoing friends. “Y/N! I’m glad you could make it! Finally you’re out of your apartment for some fun!” Said Yuta— a Japanese transferee— with the iconic red plastic cup in his hand. Looking around you noticed Jaehyun, he was standing less than ten feet away and was chatting with Johnny Seo— tallest member of the basketball team and fellow communications peer. Surprisingly, when looking at your ex-lover, you had felt nothing but happiness for him. You were happy he moved on. And while at the event, guys had instantly approached you, aghast to see you leave your apartment at night, to attend a frat party.

Jealousy was the word to express what Jung Jaehyun was feeling. Seeing the attention towards you, Jaehyun was surprised to see you there. But overall, he was jealous. It wasn't your intention, gosh you hated to make people feel jealous, he knew you felt that way, but people were just dismayed to see you at a party. “Hey, Jae? What’s wrong?”

When you’re with your friends you try to pretend that you moved on but you can’t.

After your breakup, Jaehyun went straight to Johnny’s apartment and spit out everything that had happened. He was upset and sad at first, but claimed to say he was doing fine without you. After a while, Jaehyun did a pretty good job in telling Johnny he was over you. Either that or Johnny Seo was just too damn gullible.

Looking back to you, he saw you were the same person you were four years ago. It was insane that he still had so many feelings for you after all these years. He just didn’t have the guts to approach you. He was a coward after asking to be friends and flat out ignoring you; how selfish of him. He knew you didn’t want him hurting and dwelling on his feelings. If only you knew how much Jung Jaehyun missed you, but you would— probably— never know.

Approaching you, the cup in Jaehyun’s hand had been slightly quivering as his legs had a mind of its own. “Jae, long time no see.” he smiled, “Yeah…” , “So, how have you been these years? We haven’t seen each other in a while.” Seeing you smiling and not hurt almost healed Jaehyun’s single heart, only to have it crushed again once he realized you were no longer together, you hadn’t been together since 2013. “I’ve been okay. Academics are a pain in the ass but I get help from my friends here and there. What about you? How’ve you been?” , “I’ve been doing the same. You know, same old, same old. Picked up painting again, so I’ve been painting in my apartment to get rid of my stress.” Jaehyun remembered when he bought you a canvas and paint brushes, somehow forgetting the paint. But he loved to see you paint, the creativity from your mind flowing to the white canvas. Fuck, he missed it all.

“Y/N! I have someone I want you to meet!” Shouted yuta from the other side of the roof. “Sorry, duty calls,” you laughed, “Uh, it was good seeing you safe and happy. Maybe we can hang out, you know, as friends one day, only if you’d like.” , “I would like that, yes. And it was great seeing you too Y/N.” He always loved the sound of your laugh, it brought him so much joy. He always tried to make you laugh, but now he was only making things feel awkward because he was a douche that continuously ignored you.

The night was only eleven but Hina and Byeol were sensibly intoxicated by all the alcohol. “You got them Y/N?”, “Yeah, bye guys.” Throwing them in the car, you walked to the driver's seat and started to drive to your apartment which was, thankfully, not far from Yuta’s apartment. “Hey, Y/N…. you know… Hina and I…. Hina and I…. We were talking to the jackass that ignored you….. and you know what he said…? The idiot said he misses you, and still loves you!.... what a joke,” their words were slurred but you hit the brakes anyway. “What? Why would he say that?” The girls were unable to answer since they were just knocked out cold. “He still loves me?”

You would have been lying if you said you were still in love with Jung Jaehyun. You loved him, just not in the way you used to. You just loved him as a friend now, and only wished for the best, without you. Your feelings were easily sidetracked because of school and didn’t think much about your feelings towards him. Though, it was clear to you now that Jung Jaehyun had never got rid of his love for you; his romantic feelings.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Jung Jaehyun

After Jaehyun talked to his first love, his feelings had been exploding out of his chest. He was overjoyed to see you doing fine, picking up old hobbies the two of you shared. Painting. Maybe he should pick up painting too, just to try to connect to you once more. But he knew it would only make his feelings get stronger, if that was even possible.

Oh it’s sad to love someone so much who you know doesn’t care enough.

Jaehyun knew you still cared about him. You could never not care about him. However, he knew you cared for him like a close friend, maybe not even close. Even so, it made him think that there could be a chance. There could be a possibility for the two of you to get back together again.

“You idiot! You lied to me after all these years?! How could you lie to me like that?” Yelled Johnny when Jaehyun confessed his true feelings about you. “I thought I was going to get over her, but I just can’t! We gave each other our all and loved each other infinitely, but we broke it off. It was mutual, but I tried to convince myself that I would feel the same as her. Shocker! I didn’t, and holy shit do I love her so much. But I’m a prissy loser that can’t and won’t do anything to confuse her, hurt her, upset her, or disappoint her. Believe me, I tried, I really did. But everything I did never worked out and I’m stuck with a one sided love.” Grumbled Jaehyun, downing the rest of the spiked liquid and harshly placing the cup onto the table. “You are….” started Johnny. “This is all on you…. It’s your decision what to do with everything going on. I’ll be here for moral support and advice to give but everything you end up doing is all decided by you.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Reader

Hina and Byeol woke up late the following morning. “Eat up while it’s still hot! Some drunk remedies for you alcoholics,” you joked, placing the bowl of soup in front of your friends. “Ugh I had the most horrible dream. I dreamt that we talked to that jerk-face Jaehyun and he revealed that he still loved you. It made my head hurt so bad, oh my gosh.” You dropped the other bowl of soup to the floor, shattering glass and boiling hot broth spilled on your feet; your face, expressionless, almost. “Woah! What’s gotten into you?!” Shouted Byeol. “Hina…. that wasn’t a dream. Last night, when I was driving home, you said Jaehyun missed me and he still loves me.” It was dead silent, the girls stopped wiping the floor. “What…? You broke up four years ago. How does he still have feelings after four damn years?” Emphasized Hina, standing up to throw away the paper towel and broken pieces of glass. “Never mind that! Do you feel the same way Y/N? Do you still love Jung Jaehyun?” Cleaning your soup stained feet, you walked to one of the stools. “.... I don’t, that’s why I’m so surprised. I thought he and I were at the same stage of being over each other. But I guess we’re not and he still has so much love for me…. When I don’t feel the same….” It was quite the predicament.

“Well, are you going to confront him?” , “..... I can’t. I already broke his heart once. I don’t love him like that anymore, no, but I still have emotions, and I’m a considerate human being. I can’t break his heart twice within a span of four years. I hoped that day was enough,” looking up to your friends who had confused looks on their faces. “I’ll just wait it out I suppose, we talked for a little last night and he seemed fine. But if he comes to me then I’ll let him down, again. If he doesn’t, it’s better for me not to see him sad, especially since his sadness is because of me.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

“I can’t wait to meet you, girls!!! I have so much to tell you!!” The girls squealed over video chat while you were eating a small snack before bed. After a couple months of applying to different jobs, you had gotten accepted to work as a producer under SM Entertainment, it was truly rousing.

Hina and Byeol always wanted to keep in contact with you, they were your best friends, after all. And soon separating due to jobs, your small friend group was finally in Seoul at the same time. “I do too! The boutique is coming along so much better than last month's apparels!” Hina had pursued her career in the business and fashion game while Byeol was hired as a popular photographer for W Magazine.

“You will NOT believe who I had scheduled a shoot with the other day. Y/N you will lose your absolute shit when we see each other. I’ll tell you girls then, but for now I have to go shower and sleep. Tomorrow’s shoot is such a big deal for the magazine label. Bye! I love you both.” Subsequent to what Byeol had gossiped, curiosity spread in both you and Hina’s mind. “I wonder who she saw. And why she‘s acting like that.” Questioned Hina, scratching her head making you laugh. “Me too. I guess we’ll find out when we see each other on Wednesday. But I have to bathe Danbi. Can’t wait to see you! Love you Hina!” , “Okay, good luck with that. Love you too!” Closing your laptop, you shouted for Danbi, your year- and- a- half old nureongi dog. Whilst running the bath you couldn’t help but to wonder who Byeol previously worked with for her to tell you and freak out. “Who the hell could it be?”

The day of your meet, Wednesday. Waking up at around nine in the morning, you checked your emails that needed to be answered. Scrolling down, one email had caught your eye. From: An old friend, To: Y/N, Subject: ….Hi there :) “You’re absolutely kidding me.”

The restaurant Hina reserved, prior, was packed with people sitting in booths and waiting in line. “What the hell did you drag us into?” , “Relax, I had reservations set for us already.” The— quite attractive— waiter had brought you three to your table and did waiter things. “Okay, so…. my recent photo shoot was with…. Jung fucking Jaehyun, and Johnny Seo.” Hina, dramatically, choked while drinking her water. “Well, let me tell you… the same person emailed me at three in the morning, today.” Now both Byeol and Hina choked on their water. “You’re fucking with us!” , “I’m being dead serious. Look at my emails.”

“To the most lovely person, it’s Jaehyun. I know it’s been years upon years and I’m a prick that can’t stick to my words; but it’s been a while and I just wanted to reach out if we can actually hang out. As friends. I totally get why you wouldn’t want to catch up with me, and I totally understand if you don’t even respond. But I’d appreciate it if we could eventually meet up, even with our busy schedules. - Jung Jaehyun,” read Byeol with a traumatized look on her face and Hina with an even more traumatic expression on her‘s. “Look behind Y/N. Right now.” She was seated at the nearest end of the booth and she had seen the person that can’t get rid of his feelings, walk into the occupied restaurant.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Jung Jaehyun

He’d been contemplating on writing a letter, texting you— if you still had the same number— or emailing you. “I’ll just email her,” he decided. Shakily opening his laptop in the midnight air, Jaehyun pressed the keys to your email address.

And it hurts, I wanna text so bad but you don’t want your best friend mad. ‘Cause they told you to walk away, but it’s hard and you’re feeling weak.

When Jaehyun called Johnny prior, he was upset but couldn’t control his best friend's romantic life. “Look, I don’t have a say in this but you shouldn’t text her by her number. You’d be crazy if you did that. Just email her I guess, but it’s been three years since you last saw her and it’s been seven whole years since you’ve been together. Jaehyun, I get that you love her but isn’t this a little crazy? And by a little I mean a lot crazy? What about her can’t you not forget? She’s clearly over you by now.” Jaehyun didn’t know either. He couldn’t answer Johnny’s questions because he didn’t have an answer. It was just difficult to think and talk about. And, of course, Jaehyun tried to get rid of his feelings for you. Going on blind dates, having one night stands, drinking his feelings away, but nothing helped, nothing cured him.

Jaehyun had been scouted as a model while working at some beat down cafe. It'd been about a year since his college graduation and he was pursuing his dream of being an architect. A not very known architect, at the time, but an architect nonetheless.

April 22, 2020 had been the schedule for his shoot with Johnny for W Magazine. While fitting into their Leonardo DiCaprio style clothes, they waited for the photographer they were to work with that day. Byeol had walked into the room, talking to a couple of the staff and when she turned to see her models, her face had dropped. The men had soon realized that their photographer was your best friend. Immediately going up to Byeol, Jaehyun had tried to talk to her about you. “It’s not for me to tell you how she is. Now get ready, I want this photo shoot done, pronto.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Looking to the table he had sat at, a girl was placed across him. “Wait! That’s Park Chaeyoung, she’s one of my models for this month's launch. What are they doing together?” , “What a two faced dickdead.” Scoffed Byeol, turning back to you and looking you in the eyes. “That wrench practically begged me to tell him how you’re doing and now he’s on a date with some model!? Quite the unbelievable person Jung Jaehyun is.”

Eating whatever you ordered, the girls just talked about how they were doing and scheduling your next get-together. Until Jaehyun walked by your table to get to the restroom. “Oh! I can talk to Chaeyoung now. I’ll inform you about what she says.”

Gliding across the room, Hina sat across Chaeyoung, catching her attention and smiling brightly. “Hi Hina! What brings you here? Did you just come here to talk about your launch? If so, I’m quite busy-” , “No, no. I’m here with my friends and we wanted to know why you’re here with, uh, Jung Jaehyun.” Her eyes virtually lit up at the mention of his name. “Oh, blind date. Our mutual friends set us up. He’s quite the guy! Super respectful, kind, and not to mention, incredibly good looking.”

Jaehyun had seen your face walking back from the restroom, and he paused in his steps, looking at the food-smiling you. He then looked back at Chaeyoung. The whole purpose of this blind date was to get over you, not see you. So, ignoring you, Jaehyun strided past, in small hopes you would notice that he was there; no luck. While looking ahead, he perceived his blind date to be talking to Hina, another one of your best friends. “Sorry, your date is back. But we’ll talk during the try-on. I’ll see you then, Chaeyoung.” , “Of course!” Hina glared at Jaehyun and purposefully bumped shoulders as she walked back to your table.

“They’re on a blind date. She seemed super interested in him. But I don’t know about the other story.” Byeol looked at the pair from her seat, making you laugh. “Guys it’s okay. It’s been seven years. I’m happy he’s finally going on dates. I appreciate it that you guys care, but I honestly don’t. Jaehyun is his own person and I am my own person. And we are separated, we have been separated for over six years now.”

Chatting away, your best friends couldn’t help but to look back at the table, only to see Jaehyun constantly glancing his way to yours. “Why do you guys keep looking back at their table?” You laughed at their faces but they just ignored your words and continued to stare down the blockhead that continually lied to you. “Maybe we should just go now… I think they’re a little uncomfortable. Plus, we don’t want them to ruin our plans for today, yeah?” They nodded and asked for a check. Walking out of the busy restaurant, Chaeyoung bid a goodbye to Hina and Jaehyun turned around only to see your back walking towards the exit.

If we ruled time and space and the Milky Way, would you reach me? Yeah, I know you wouldn’t reach me, but I hope that you think of me.

You had always thought of Jaehyun. After all, seven years had gone by so quickly and you had always wondered if he still had feelings or if he was still hurt. Whatever the reason was you were sincerely happy that he was moving on. And you were glad to see him more well-mannered and gentlemanly than he already was.

Jaehyun was glad to see you’d matured so well over the years he’d never seen you, but that made him miss you more everyday. Johnny had persistently been setting Jaehyun up on blind dates to get rid of his fondness for you, though to no avail and Johnny fails every time.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Jung Jaehyun

It had been around four in the evening when Jaehyun went back to his shared apartment with Johnny. “Damnit Johnny I saw Y/N at that stupid restaurant. My affection for her is only getting stronger and I don’t know how to relieve them. This is taking such a big toll on me but it’s been seven fucking years. My heart aches for her so much and I don’t have a clue why!” He let out once more and Johnny just sighed, sitting on the couch next to his best friend. “Then just open up to her about it. She works under SM, yeah? Just ask around for her, you're doing a shoot with Wendy, right? Well, Y/N’s a producer for multiple artists under SM, just ask Wendy then.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

It was the upcoming day and you were getting ready to work with Red Velvet and Super Junior. Opening the door and walking towards one of the receptionists, you had signed in and walked straight to one of the recording studios and greeted whoever tendered a good morning. “Morning Y/N!” Greeted Taeyong and Mark, a duo under SM but also a part of Super M, SM’s newest debut boy group. You’d worked together in the past, only on a couple of songs but they were really good friends with you. “Morning boys! You guys are quite hyper at this time in the morning. I’m almost done with my coffee and you guys have more energy than I do!” You played and pointed to the dark circles under your eyes, which you tried to conceal with makeup. They laughed and gave you a short hug. “What’s your schedule today, Y/N?” , “Just some stuff for Red Velvet and Suju. We don’t record until Sunday, though. What about you boys?”

“We have our choreo that we have to finish and then some try-on stuff for our promotions and music video.” , “I’m sad that we can’t work together this time. But good luck with that! I’ll be definitely checking out the album when it comes out! Bye Mark, bye Taeyong!”

You unlocked your office— which was basically just a recording studio— and went straight to the cafe on the ground floor since your manager had asked to grab him a cup of coffee.

“Hey. Weren’t expecting you down here.” The voice was so distinct. “I work here…?” It sounded like you were irritated but you really weren’t, just confused because you had thought he knew you worked under SM. “Oh- I know, it’s just, I uh….” He scratched his neck in embarrassment. “I just didn’t know what to say when I approached you. Plus you always used to have coffee at home.” You were surprised he remembered something as small as that. “I just came down here to get some breakfast and the coffee is for my partner. We’re working with Suju soon. Then we’re working with Red Velvet.” , “So am I! Well, just with Wendy, we have an SM Station coming up. Today’s just the shoot for it.”

“Y/N, your order!” , “Sorry. I didn’t expect to see you here, especially so early, since you’re not a morning person. But text me some time, yeah? I still have the same number so we can communicate whenever you’d like.” This made Jaehyun beyond exhilarated. Maybe there was hope after all; you remembered how he hated mornings and you offered him to text you. And he was stoked to finally see progress, though it was mostly his fault of the zero progress, anyways.

“Of course! I guess we’ll be seeing each other a little more for a while then.” , “Yeah. But I really gotta go. See you whenever Jae.” He was happy to finally be having a less awkward conversation with you. His emotions were exploding out of his heart but he was able to contain them. He was happy that you were calling him Jae again, no one ever really called him that besides Johnny. And at this moment, Jung Jaehyun was content with your interaction. This time, Jaehyun promised himself to buff up and get over everything because, as of now, you two were friends— or at least he’d hoped you were. Luck was on his side and now he didn’t have to ask Wendy about you. He barely even knew the girl.

While in the middle of their shoot, you had intruded to ask some staff how much longer it would take. “Maybe, thirty more minutes? This is the last outfit for the shoot then she’s all yours,” explained one of the makeup artists. “Can I sit here then? Just to wait, and only for ten minutes. I need to set up a little bit soon.” , “Of course you can!” So, scrolling through your phone and occasionally looking up Wendy and Jaehyun had a short five minute break. “Wendy!” , “Y/N!” She waved, getting her lipstick and hair retouched. “I’m about to go to my studio. I’ll see you and the girls then!”

“Sounds good! I’ll see you in about twenty. Bye Y/N!” Sauntering toward the exit, Jaehyun bid you a goodbye as well. “Bye, I hope we meet again soon!” You beckoned. There were no words to describe how Jaehyun was feeling. He had no idea where the sudden burst of confidence came from, but it came then and he was fortunate enough to experience it now. Better now than never, he thought.

The ensuing day, Jaehyun had texted you to eat and catch up over some brunch. “Only if you’re not busy. Which is totally fine if you are. We can reschedule!” You chuckled at the text, he was still the same shy and awkward high school boy from years ago. “I’m down. We can meet at the front of the building at 11:30. I have a meeting to attend first.” , “Great!”

Driving to the label, your routine had been the same as the days before and took the elevator up to the meeting room. Once the boring, yet, necessary meeting was over, you placed your binder of papers on the desk and walked back to the entrance of SM. You smiled when approaching Jaehyun. Tapping on his shoulder, he turned around and returned your smile. “Ready? I’m taking us to The Hideout. I don’t know if you remember but I really liked eating there.” Your smile only grew wider, and your eyes were squinted shut in happiness. “I do remember! We used to always get banana bread and french toast. Gosh, I missed that place! I haven’t been there since 2013.” , “You and me both,” he said on the quieter side, anticipating your ears weren’t able to catch what he had said. You did, but you wanted to convince yourself that this was all in good fun and you two were friends now. It was impossible that after the years that had passed, he still had some sort of romantic feelings for you. But oh boy, were you wrong. He just didn’t want to admit it to you, at least, not yet.

The car ride was exactly the opposite of what you’d thought it was going to be, thankfully. Jaehyun brought so many topics into the conversation during the ride and while you were eating. “We should definitely order the banana bread and french toast! It’s been a while since I had some good brunch food!”

And all of a sudden, after being in the café for a short while, the discussion had gotten more serious, “Look, Y/N. I know I was an ass in the past but I finally had the guts to ask to go out and not bail on you. And I’m incredibly sorry for always ignoring you and not sticking to my words. I’m a jerk that you shouldn't have forgiven but I’m so damn grateful you put up with me for almost a whole decade. Gosh, I’m such a fake person, but I’m here to make up for it. And I’m glad we’re here together, as friends.” Every word that exited Jaehyun’s lips were genuine and sincere. He was happy to finally reconnect with the one he used to call his love. Yet at the same time, he was sorrowful he wasn’t able to reconnect earlier, he was sorrowful that you and he were no longer together. But there was nothing he could do, it was your decision and you both talked it out.

“You’re completely fine! I mean, I get why you didn’t want to talk to me. I broke your heart and you weren’t ready for it. It’s my fault I suppose, I was the one to unexpectedly tell you what was going on. But I’m happy as well. I’m happy you’re doing fine, and I’m happy we’re here as friends. And I’m happy you went on that date with Chaeyoung, you really needed it, I could tell… Oh! Speaking of Chaeyoung I wanted to ask how you two were doing. If the both of you were no longer going out on blind dates.” Your eyes had lit up at the thought of him being in another relationship. “We’re not, unfortunately. She did divulge in her thoughts about me, I just didn’t feel the same, I guess. She was undoubtedly nice but something just didn’t click between the both of us.” The light in your eyes had now dropped down. “That sucks. I’m sorry for asking then.” , “Oh, no! You’re great, I don’t really like blind dates anyway.”

The next half hour had passed by quickly and your manager had called you to meet at the studio for another, abrupt, meeting. “Well let’s go, I don’t want you to be late for that!” Jaehyun was still as kindhearted and delightful as you remembered. It was one of the things you loved and admired about him.

“Maybe we can meet again some time..?” , “We sure can! Honestly, we can just meet at the café on the first floor while you’re working with Wendy. But if you have any other plans, definitely text me! Well, I’ll be off now. I hope you enjoy the rest of the day in SM. Bye Jae.” Turning toward the elevator, Jaehyun admired your figure, then Wendy taps his back, jolting his reflexes. “Woah. Jung Jaehyun, are you interested in L/N, Y/N.” He sighed, a shy and sly smile appeared on his dimpled face. “I am. And I have been for seven whole years. Well, almost seven.” , “Wait, what? What do you mean?”

“I mean that I’ve loved Y/N for that long.... We separated seven years ago and I’m still so damn in love with her. Our anniversary is on June fourth. I want to take her out then and reveal my care for her.” Wendy sighed, patting Jaehyun on his back. “Good luck with that but she doesn’t seem to feel the same way.” The dimples on his face disappeared, “I know… when she and I broke up, she seemed completely fine and I was suffering. And I was a douchebag because I ignored her for years. Now’s the time to recover the time I had missed.” , “Are you going to tell her?” She looked at the taller man who was still staring at the elevator you took to your office. “Eventually….. June fourth, I will. I have to let go of my feelings for her and I think telling her that I still love her will help. That or Johnny just sucks at giving advice.” She sighed, a little disappointed, in a way. “Well, good luck with that. But just don’t think about it now. June fourth is still a couple months away. Just spend more time together and confess to her then. Now, let’s go, they’re going to get mad that we’re late.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Meeting with Jaehyun over the past two months was very pleasurable. You did miss his old self, you missed hanging out with Jung Jaehyun more than anything. He was such good company once he opened up, it was also one of the things you loved about him.

“Oh my gosh did you remember when Mrs. Yoon caught us making out? Her face was honestly priceless. Man, I hated her being.” He laughed. Of course you remembered, how could you not? “Yeah, she never bothered us the rest of the semester!” Reminiscing you past, the two of you joked around. You fooled around so much that you caught strangers stares.

“Well, I had fun tonight Y/N. I’ll invite you to dinner again soon. But dress up, I think I’m going to reserve a fancy restaurant.” It was quite weird, but it was Jung Jaehyun. And he was a sucker for sentimental moments. “Okay. Thanks for today. I had fun, like always. I’ll see you then. And thanks for the ride, I totally could have drove there myself.” , “I wouldn’t let you do that though.” Standing on your toes, you hugged the man that used to own your heart. “Thank you, Jae.” He hugged back. “Don’t thank me. But I’ll see you soon, yeah?” You nodded and waved as he walked to his car.

While showering your face had dropped, thinking about Jaehyun. You’d hoped he didn’t get any ideas about you having feelings for him. “No, he can’t be into me, after seven years he still can't have the same feelings. That’s impossible.”

June 4, 2020. You vividly remembered the date of your anniversary with Jaehyun. And it was fishy he had texted you, the morning of, about going to Rich Table, a renewed fancy restaurant downtown. “What is this boy up to this time?” You’d thought while reading the text he’d sent you.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Jung Jaehyun

Jaehyun looked in the mirror. Fixing his tie and gelling his hair down, he retold himself, “Just admit that you still love her but you didn’t want things to feel unwieldy. You got this Jung Jaehyun. She’s over you and you have to move on.”

And it breaks me inside, ‘cause I know that it’s been over now.

There were no words in the entirety of the universe to explain how he felt, and how guilty he was since he still loved you. Jaehyun knew you remembered your anniversary, and he felt so distressed about you remembering. He knew you must’ve thought something was wrong.

But you make excuses still, so there’s a reason not to kill every feeling you have for them.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Eight P.M., Thursday June fourth. Like he promised, Jaehyun was at your door by eight sharp. The car ride, this time, had so much unknown tension. And while placing yourselves at the table, there was still absolute silence. It was quiet when you ordered and it continued to stay quiet as you ate, the both of you avoiding eye contact with each other.

“Y/N.... I know what you’re thinking. But I just wanted to take you out today to confess that I am still so in love with you.” You were silent, and looking straight at the table. “I’m sorry I was such a coward after not admitting it to you after years had gone by. But I wanted to find the perfect time to tell you, and I figured today was the right time. I already knew that you knew I had something planned. And I’m sure this wasn’t what you were expecting. I apologize a million times for being such a wuss and not saying anything at all. I thought that trying to meet with you would make every emotion that you taught me, go away. You’re probably mad as I say all this, but I don’t blame you. But those feelings have drifted away slowly…. You know, here and there. So, I wanted to tell you this as friends….. that if…. if you were only a bus ride away, would you see me?” It was hushed for a long moment, until you looked up at him with tears in your eyes. “Of course I would. We’re okay now. Why would you even ask that? And I couldn’t never stay mad at you. I’m not that kind of person, Jaehyun. Just know that we broke up and you were fine with it, and please know that I still have so much love for you in my heart.” He dryly laughed. “But not the same way I do. I missed us a lot, I missed you a fuck-ton. But most importantly, I wanted to say that I miss when you needed me.”

#nct #nct angst #nct jaehyun #jung jaehyun #nct 127 angst #jaehyun angst #jaehyun au #Spotify

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