#the side characters from the isle of the lost books are so funny to me so I’m just borrowing them a little bit here

[thebluestbluewords]

Anything You Like - the soulmate theology part

*

“They’re a gift from God,” Claudine says confidently. “He sends them to us so we know where to find the good people in the world. The ones who are meant for us, for us to love and learn from. That’s why so many parents will mark their children.” 

“That’s stupid,” says Mal, who is eight years old, and has exactly two soulmarks, one from her mother and one from her future-henchman in training, Jafar’s son. “My mom’s the worst of the worst. She’d never let some silly god tell her who to mark.” 

Claudine glares at Mal from behind her thick glasses. The effect is a bit like being glared at by an especially nervous monkey, one of the creepy ones with huge eyes who sometimes come on TV in the hours-long marathons they get of the stupidest children’s shows imaginable. 

With all of the fury in her six-year-old body, Claudine sticks her tongue out at Mal. “Then you’re stupid, and so’s your mom!” 

“My mom could crush you dad like a bug.” Mal says carelessly. “And probably his god too, if he’s wasting his time giving people soulmarks. My dad’s the most powerful god on the island, and he doesn’t have any soulmarks.” 

“That’s because nobody loves him!” Claudine says, full of confidence in her own correctness in a way that only children can be. Mal would punch her teeth in, if she thought she could get away with it. “If God made somebody to care about your dad, he’d have found them by now and you wouldn’t even be here.” 

“Take it back!” 

“No!” 

“Take it back right now or I’m gonna hit you!” Mal shouts, clenching her hands into fists so tight that she can feel the tiny points of her nails start to cut into her palms. “My dad’s the most powerful god on the isle and he’s gonna hurt you if you don’t take it back!” 

Claudine frowns, screwing up her whole face. “My God can protect me,” she says, but they’re a shadow of doubt to her words now, and Mal knows that she can win this. “He’s the most powerful of all time, not just here.” 

Mal, with the honing instincts of a child who has never been told to shut up, goes for blood. 

“Then why don’t you have a soulmark? If your god is so powerful and cool and loves you so much, why didn’t he make anyone who loves you back?” 

“I—“ Claudine sputters, face crumpling behind her glasses. “I— I, um, I’m waiting. For the right person.” 

Mal frowns. She’s more evil when she pretends to care about people first, that’s what her mom says. “I thought your god was supposed to show you the right person. If he didn’t give you anyone, I think it means you’re just an unlovable freak.” 

“You’re mean,” Claudine whispers, her face damp behind the shield of her glasses. “I’m gonna find my person someday, and you’re never gonna get any more soulmarks because you’re mean and  God hates you.” 

Mal laughs. “There’s no god on the island, stupid. Your dad just lies to you because he doesn’t want anyone to know that you’re a freak.” 

Claudine sniffles. “You’re mean and that’s worse.” 

Mal takes a step back. Crying is disgusting and only for babies, and at eight years old, she’s very much not a baby, and being seen with someone who’s crying could hurt her burgeoning schoolyard reputation. Making someone cry because you hit them is one thing, but standing next to someone who’s crying is a sign of weakness, and there’s no space in Mal’s world for acting weak. 

“Says who?” she demands, from a safe distance away. Bullying distance is further than comforting distance, and it should be clear enough to any onlookers which one she’s standing at. 

“My— my dad,” Claudine manages, sucking in an enormous snotty breath. “And all his followers. Being mean is the worst thing ever, that’s what they said.” 

Mal laughs wickedly. Or at least, close to wickedly. She’s still practicing her Evil Laughs. “Well, my mom says that being mean is how you get ahead in the world. And my mom’s the ruler of the isle, and yours is dead, so I’m pretty sure I know better than you.”

[rages-ooc]

Helpless vs. Useless: Chad Charming

Inspired by a poll on the Descendants subreddit asking who the most USELESS AK was, where Chad has taken a severe lead.

Chad Charming is not useless. He’s a great man to have on your side if you need help in literally anything. Chad is helpless, and the difference is absolutely striking in his character-- let me explain.

Chad is never shown as useless. Bumbling at times, sure, but even in those instances he’s never being shown as someone who’s stopped trying and is just in the way, no help at all, not even attempting to help. He’s thrown his entire self into trying to help.

The problem is, Chad is extremely helpless.

When we read the first Isle of the Lost book, we find out from Ben’s perspective that Aurora raised Audrey to never want for anything-- that Aurora’s mentality is that her daughter should never have to suffer like she did. With that in mind, it’s very reasonable & safe to assume that most of the AKs were likely brought up the same way, especially including Chad. Looking at all of the work Cinderella had to do in her life until she met her prince, I find it HIGHLY unlikely Cinderella would have wanted her son to be forced to work for anything he didn’t want to do. So he probably didn’t learn a lot of useful, relevant skills in life, but he definitely learned things like sports, fencing, etc., because it’s what he wanted and excelled in.

Am I positing this as a good thing, no, of course not! But it’s definitely relevant in the discussion today. We see throughout the movies and books he appears in that Chad is trying extremely hard to do better, and at times proves to be far smarter and more helpful than he’s given credit for.

In D2, Chad is revealed to have 3D printed himself a key to Jay & Carlos’ room so he can use their 3D printer. Reasonably? He’s a prince. Chad could easily ask his parents to buy him one. But we learn in School of Secrets Chad has a problem with, ahem, “losing” his phone and just having his parents pay for a replacement. Between that and some other impulsive, likely expensive choices we see him make in this movie and others... it’s very possible his parents wouldn’t buy him one. And so he found a workaround to access what he wants. Is it good, no, but it does establish one thing: Chad is definitely smart enough to get what he wants when he wants it. He’s not useless, he just needs motivation.

And a primary piece of motivation for Chad is Audrey.

In and before D2/leading up to Cotillion, between the movie and Evie’s fashion book, we come to realize Chad has spent a painstaking amount of time trying to get his Cotillion outfit absolutely perfect-- much to Evie’s chagrin, because she notes how picky & persnickety he is in her book/around his sketch. He’s dedicated ages upon ages (& not to mention how much he probably spent) to getting his outfit perfect-- and he drops everything and misses Cotillion entirely to come to Audrey’s rescue over a phone call.

Once again, he’s Chad. If he wants to do something, he will find a way to make it happen-- re, the key. But instead of finding some way around going himself, he goes to help, even though as discussed, he probably doesn’t have the practical skills to help at all.

In Audrey’s diary, she notes that at some point she was on a walk with him, wherein he noted she seemed down, and Chad decided to try and cheer her up by telling her a funny story about Jaques the mouse. She disregards it, & him, but that doesn’t discount it from the Chad side. He saw her upset, he cares about her, he tried to do something to make her feel better. It’s not much good, but it’s what he had & came up with. He’s still trying.

Which brings us to D3. Oh yes, unarguably his motivation was to protect himself. But that doesn’t mean Chad didn’t try at every turn and, when he knew it wasn’t helping, he just did what he was told and accepted that was what he had to do. Still not useless-- he was doing exactly what he intended the entire time: protecting himself. Just helpless-- doesn’t actually have the practical skills to do anything but achieve his own goal of self-preservation.

There are many things I headcanon and believe about Chad. Helpless, clueless, stubborn as a mule, possibly autistic, but definitely not useless. Never useless. He has proven he can be useful so long as he’s motivated to be.

[fermented-writers-block]

PART 1 of 6 of the Owl Deity Hooty Theory

[NEXT PART]

[OWL DEITY HOOTY THEORY MASTERPOST] (in development)

(TLDR at bottom of post)

Over several long months of research and analysis since March of 2020, I have been following an utterly fascinating thread of potential misdirection and subtle details throughout The Owl House, and today, I would like to start weaving together of what I believe could become one of the biggest and most cleverly disguised twists in the entire show.

To begin, let’s take a look at the B plot of Understanding Willow:

On first glance, it’s an ultimately inconsequential sidestory with the sole purpose of justifying an excuse to keep Luz and Amity in Willow’s mind, as well as providing some well-needed room to breathe and release tension after the veryemotionally charged confrontation with Inner Willow. After half an episode of Eda and King outdoing the other in ridiculous ways to win Gus’ vote and Gus running off in frustration at the end of the episode from Hooty’s inane rambling, it’s easy to laugh off Gus’ pick and assume that nothing/of value was said when he closed the door for the interview.

However, if one pays close attention to that very scene, Hooty actually canstill be heard (if faintly) underneath Eda and King’s grumbling, interestingly talking about how “It all started with a hunt. Blood red skies. That’s right, I was created-.”

Now, while it may seem silly to focus on dialogue from Hooty of all characters, this A) tells us that there was an event in the past involving blood red skies and a hunt of some kind, B) that Hooty had been created close to said event, and C) implies that what he knows but can’t tell as a story worth a damn is EXTREMELY important to be included and be hidden in such a manner.

For comparison, the only other instance of dialogue being tucked away in the background in the entire show is in Wing It Like Witches:

During the lecture at the beginning of the episode, the history teacher openswith lore on Belos appointing a head witch to each coven over 50 years ago, immediately cluing in the audience to try and decipher the rest of the lecture as it moves to the background. Adding to this is how the musical sting when Luz shows off her movie obscures what he says even further, making it even more of a intriguing puzzle that the creators clearly intended for viewers to pick up on and attempt to solve.

In contrast, the hidden dialogue of Hooty’s interview is much shorter and not as hard to decipher as the teacher’s history lesson, but at the same time, there are few to no indicators whatsoever in that scene to clue in the audience to even check for something like that. It comes at the end of an episode where most viewers would have been paradoxically tired out and driven abuzz by the revelations of Amity and Willow’s relationship, doesn’t attempt to draw much attention to itself, and frames itself as a comedic subversion of audience expectations with neither the “greatest witch who ever lived” or the self-proclaimed king of demons being picked by Gus.

Instead, he picks someone that the show portrays constantly as an oblivious and gullible idiot after being described as a “state of the art defense system” at the very beginning of the series. Someone who, despite it being played for laughs, is scarily capable of casually subduing Lilith offscreen one episode and then beating her and an entire squad of Emperor’s Coven members without even the slightest change in personality or temperament.

Someone who, due to being the Owl House itself, could be considered the titular character of the entire show, yet is taken for granted by those who inhabit him and barely gets any respect from even the cutely patronized King - including when Hooty could be interpreted as having potentially been full on DEAD for a time given the use of extremely cartoony X eyes and a lack of vital signs in The Intruder.

And someone who Eda at best tolerates and at worst abandons in personal interactions and only occasionally acknowledges him when he’s actually doing his job. Yet at the same time is so implicitly trusted beyondprotecting her home to the point where - when up against the closest person Eda has to an equal outside of likely Belos - the only actually recognizable spells Eda used in combat were 1) stereotypical energy blasts, 2) a single shield spell in Covention, and 3) a noticeably large reliance on imitations of Hooty above any other spells she could have decided to use instead.

In short, the show repeatedly tells us he is just an idiotic gag character through and through, but at the same time demonstrates he has immense power through both onscreen and offscreen demonstrations, implicitly tells us his importance ahead of time through Eda’s imitations in actually serious situations, and treats his interview and origin story as - if not even more- important to keep secret than a long lore dump about how Belos’ reign works.

After all, there being only two instances of hidden background dialogue in the entire season is already intriguing on its own, but for one to get plenty of clues to draw in people’s attention and for the other to be treated as just another gag about a “mere comic relief character” - aka a good way to draw away attention and lower one’s guard - heavily suggests a far deeper significance buried under layers of misdirection, comedy, and conditioned audience expectations.

I mean, when Eda bragged about being “a bad girl living in a secret fortress,” Hooty followed with a remark about how “I’m the secret.” While that line may sound like Hooty simply being confused as part of a one-off on the surface, it’s an odd dialogue choice for the writers to pick when you think about all the other reminders of his nature as the house itself throughout the season. With the precedent these moments set, it would have been much more appropriate for him to latch onto the “fortress” side of “secret fortress” AND it would have been just as equally funny of a joke about his awareness skills, but instead, Hooty broke away from the established trend to say something that would make people suspicious were it to come from anyone else.

In a way, this reminds me much of the many subtle bits of foreshadowing strewn across the show, like Luz unknowingly describing Amity in Witches Before Wizards and Eda burning a hole through Luz’s coven type quiz that coincidentally selected the same track she had taken at Hexside as “a punky potionist.” At the time of airing, these initially seemed like one-off jokes, but eventually came back in full force several episodes later with Amity’s hidden sensitive feelings and love for the Azura books becoming clear in Lost in Language, and the reveal of Eda’s school track in Something Ventured, Someone Framed with her school misdemeanor pictures.

That said, compared to these individual bits of minor foreshadowing, the jokes about Hooty in Understanding Willow appear to simply be the most obvious pieces in a giant puzzle, implicitly and outright telling attentive viewers that there’s a major mystery to be uncovered here.

In fact, I feel bold enough to say that we could be looking at a twist on a similar scale to that of the Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz and Stanford Pines twists in Steven Universe and Gravity Falls respectively, what with this particular puzzle piece coming from how Gus wanted to make THE greatest interview of all time, and how he was looking for someone who was “interesting, accomplished, AND noteworthy:”

Note the emphasis on the ‘and’ here, as Gus had made a big deal that “people aren’t meantto be all those things” at the beginning of the episode, so as a result, stripping away all the comedic framing of his subplot leaves the intriguing implication that whoever - and, perhaps, what- Hooty is, they really are the most interesting, accomplished, AND noteworthy person out of everyone.

I could go further and talk about why I suspect the mystery surrounding King’s origins, whether true or not, is partially meant to misdirect us from paying attention to Hooty, or how the TOH crew’s could be disguising legitimate clues to his nature among made up and highly meme-able joke answers in order to proliferate said concepts throughout the fandom - thus letting us do all the dirty work of getting ourselves used to the ideas and used to dismissing them at the same time - but to bring things to a close for now, I’d like to leave you all with a question that I’ll start answering next time:

What does it mean when both the most powerful and notorious witch on the Boiling Isles and the possible actual king of demons/the Titan itself/something don’t match up to a house? And what do you think it is that makes him so special to warrant such misdirection?

TLDR: Between Eda’s golem spells, the show stressing his nature as the titular house, his implicit strength, and the odd dialogue and structure of Understanding Willow‘s subplot in relation to him, I believe I have good reason to suspect the show has been giving us many hints towards Hooty being much, much more important than it would like us to currently believe or even joke about. Particularly, through clever uses of comedy to establish and enforce a strong audience bias against looking closely at him or unironically taking him seriously, and to potentially plant the seeds for something I will start exploring in Part 2.

[incorrectlumityquotes]

FULL REVIEWS: “Lost In Language”

Lost in language and I don't know much. Was I thinking aloud and fell out of touch? But I'm back on my feet and eager to be what you wanted.

Seriously? Nothing? You guys have never heard Air Supply? I mean, they’re old AF but still. It’s a funny pun. Whatever.

Back in the day (like it was so long ago) I didn’t know what to expect from this episode. The only thing I caught from the description was library, but hoo boy, we got so much more!

I love the cold opens to this show. It always reminds me that Luz is a silly ass hyper fangirl who still wants life to play out like it does on TV. 

“Learning about love and life through the eyes of a child.”

Spoken like a true person who have never done any actual babysitting. The Bat Queen gets her own soft intro for another episode, which I’m noticing more and more re-watching this show. She pays Eda to watch her baby in exchange for a butt-ton of money. Eda, in classic Eda fashion, would rather not split the cash with Luz and gives her an errand to run so she doesn’t have to do it. 

I don’t know about you guys, but liked going to the library when I was a kid. It was the only way I could play computer games or go on the internet. Getting online is the easiest thing in the world today, but when I was a kid, it was a luxury my parents couldn’t afford. And dumb-dumb kid me didn’t know that you can borrow movies and comic for free at the library too. That’s how I saw Jaws for the first time.

The library at The Boiling Isles is almost exactly what I expected. Kinda like the Hogwarts library, but with a lot more teeth and eyes everywhere. Luz has a bunch of fun just messing around, until she stumbles upon the cutest goddamn thing ever!

Amity reading to kids at the public library in her free time. My god.

I’m with Luz here. Holy hell, I did not see that coming. I thought Amity was the rival character, the Draco Malfoy of the show, the reluctant ally, the jerk with the heart of gold DEEP in there somewhere. Instead she’s at the Kid’s Corner reading her favorite childhood classic to toddlers. I didn’t know there were angels in the demon realm.

Stop. Stop! You’re already cute.

Seriously this moment made me go “aw” and laugh at the same time. It was weird. Also how does this library have a manga section? Do they import these books from JAPAN in the HUMAN REALM? Is there a publishing company that acts as the middleman? Or are these just the books that the trash slugs ended up barfing on the beach somewhere? I’m thinking too hard about a throwaway joke in the background. Big brain hurt.

AND back to reality...

Luz tries to extend the hand of friendship to Amity and Amity rejects it. I have...thoughts.

First, they this up with another parallel to Azura in the beginning of the episode. I get it. It’s a theme that they are doing, but I would have rather have Luz try to befriend Amity because she wants to, not because Azura did it. It’s not the only reason she does it, but it does kinda bug me a bit. It kinda goes back to Luz wanting life to play out like a story. 

Also, a part of me thinks that this is something Amity likes to do alone. Her way of getting away from everyone else and just do something that she enjoys and makes her feel good. We have no proof that it gives her extra credit, so she could just use that as a way to save face. She seemed so happy to do it too. 

Finally, you know what this else this reminds me of? The Karate Kid and Cobra Kai. There’s a popular fan theory that has been around since the eighties that if you look at The Karate Kid from the rival’s perspective, the protagonist is the bully. I’m more than sure that’s what going on here. From Amity’s perspective, Luz just gets her into trouble. We’ll get more into that later.

Luz walks off dejected and we get the second big surprise to punch me in the face.

Holy hell, why the fuck are you two so goddamn fucking pretty? I mean, holy shit, look at these two. My god. And ERICA LINDBECK as Emira? Jesus Christ, I’m going to be feeling things I shouldn’t be feeling in places I can’t say!

Joking aside, we get one of our first full introductions that didn’t come with a soft intro from a previous episode. Enter Emira and Emira, Amity’s older siblings who in true sibling fashion like to give Amity a hard time.  

“Hey, mittens!”

This seems normal at first. Siblings always rib each other. No big deal.

Amity storms off. The twins introduce themselves proper to Luz (and the audience) and they mess around for a bit. 

In fact, they have so much fun messing around with Luz that they decide to invite her back afterhours to check out The Wailing Star. Luz thinks that this is a great way to get on Amity’s good side by befriending her siblings. Why she would think this I have no idea.

Meanwhile the B-plot continues its adventures in babysitting. I don’t like using the word filler (so I won’t) but this B-plot is really just for two things: setting up Escape of the Palisman and jokes. It does both. No harm, no foul.

Also the twins said for Luz to meet back at midnight and Luz was at The Owl House for like a hot second. There’s like a huge gap of time there. What did she do until midnight? Whatever. If it was important it would have been animated.

Also also, I love all of Luz’s little saying in this episode. She does it a lot but they cranked it up in this episode. Featuring great hits like:

“This sour lemon drop has a hidden sweet center.”

and

“I thought we were as cool as cucumbers but we’re as sour as pickles.”

and my favorite

“Call me a library book because they were checking me out.”

I hope they keep doing that.

Back at the literal Wailing Star (I laughed so hard), The twins and Luz discover that The Wailing Star brings the content of the books to life. Does that work for all books in The Boiling Isles or just the library? Enough. No more big brain. The three proceed to...mess around some more.

The twins discover offscreen (Really? Really.) that if you edit the contents of the book, you change what comes to life. Then the twins reveal their true objectives. Apparently, Amity has been tattling on the twins whenever they cut class or do whatever it is that they want. They’ve decided to look for her secret little hideaway (that they somehow know is in the library), find her diary and post all the pages all over school to teach her a lesson. 

Um, fucking no.

And here we enter the true lesson of this episode and probably the reason why Hecate is draw with two faces. People being more than just what they appear to be at face value. 

Amity appears to be the bully character of the show, and while she did bully Willow, Luz and King, there’s more to her than that. Amity is lonely. As a fellow person who grew up lonely, trust me. I can tell from a mile away. She puts pressure on herself to be the best at whatever she’s doing and to be the best. She hates that she follows the rules but people like her siblings seem to get rewarded for breaking the rules and doing whatever they want free of consequence. She sees the double standard that they live by and it angers her. But at the same time, everyone seems to give the twins a free pass so she can’t do anything about it. 

Even worse, there’s no one for her to confide in. It wouldn’t make it better but it would make it easier for her to just vent and get the bullshit out of her brain. She doesn’t like her friends and the one friend she did like...that’s for another episode. Hence, the diary. Amity is a big ball of frustration and loneliness. I know because I grew up in a very similar way.

When you’re forced to keep your anger inside you, you lash out at any little thing that bothers you just to ease your frustrations. It doesn’t make it okay but it’s the only way to cope sometimes just to get by.

The twins on the other hand seem like everything you’d want in a friend. They’re fun; they like you; they’re attractive; they’re attentive. But in reality, they live in a world where they believe consequences and accountability don’t apply to them. And they’ll do anything to keep it that way. Even humiliate their sister.

Luz seems like a happy-go-lucky, friends to all things kinda person, but she can also be innocently insensitive. She just does things hoping they turn out the way they would for Azura without considering how the people around her would feel about it.

It doesn’t make any of these characters two-faced. We just are different things to different people.

Amity discovers what’s going down and Luz (being the empathic person that she is) decide to try to go talk to her. 

Then I’m reminded that this is a horror-comedy.

My god, you’re ugly.

One climax later (don’t laugh), and Luz and Amity try to make amends with each other. They both have to think about how they’ve been treating the other, earning the title of bully or not. They’re not friends yet but this is...better.

FINAL SCORE: 5 - Loved it.

Damn, The Owl House is one a roll. That’s what? Three 5 scored episodes already? Hot damn. This episode was fun but it really hit hard with the character work on Amity. She quickly became one of the most interesting characters and a fan favorite. And the third act provided a good amount of horror to call this a horror comedy. The B-plot is fine but probably one of the weakest only saved by several funny jokes. This is one of those episodes I kept coming back to and a favorite to watch.

Could you two please not? I’m gonna get in trouble.

[godess-ofthe-underworld]

Love Finds A Way (sequel to “See You Again) {A Harry Hook x Reader story}

Part 2

Hadley and Evie walked through the courtyard on a Thursday afternoon during their free period, looking for a particular blonde haired girl who was late for her dress fittings. As they rounded the corner in front of the castle known as Auradon Prep, she heard commotion by the large beast statue in the center walkway.   Looking over she saw Mal surrounded by people, pressing microphones and tape recorders in her face.  Hadley rushed over dodging people and bushes as quickly as her heels would let her.  She made it over just as Ben stepped in.  Hadley lit up like a campfire and stepped in front of Mal.  The reporters jumped back, some running in fear at the giant walking ball of blue flames standing in front of them.

“ I suggest you get those this get those microphones out of here before they end up up your noses!” Hadley snapped stepping forward a step.  The reporters gasped and ran away.  Hadley quickly doused the fire and stepped away so the couple could have a little time to themselves.

Evie had other plans as she walked up and grabbed Mal's arm.  

“If we don't do a fitting for your gown right this minute you'll be dancing in your bathrobe okay?” She glanced at Ben and smiled. “ Hi. Let's go. Let's go!”

Mal waved to Ben as Hadley and Evie pulled her back to their room.

Evie and Mal propped up on a pedestal as she fixed measurements to Mal's Cotillion dress.  The big poofy yellow tulle and silk gown nearly swallowed Mal.  Hand sewn intricate royal blue details laced the end of the silk and all along the bodice.  

“Ok Evie I cannot breathe.” Mal grunted as Evie zipped up the back of the dress.

Hadley snickered from her seat at the desk where she was working on Mal's shoes.  

“You can breathe after cotillion.”  Hadley placed the matching blue and yellow heel down on the desk and walked over to stand in front of Mal just as Evie walked around her.

“ Yeah I seriously doubt that.” Mal sighed, pushing a stray strand of hair from her face.

“ I have at least 20 more directly behind it. And I can't even remember what a single one of them is.” 

Once Evie fluffed the tulle skirt she stepped back and linked arms with Hadley. 

“Impeccable” 

“It's perfect!” 

They high fives as Mal looked off.

“Evie? Hadley?” Mal called.

“Hmmm?” 

“ Do you ever think about what we'd be doing if we were back on the Isle right now?” Mal questioned.

“ Ha that's funny.” Evie chuckled.

Before Mal could say anything else the TV placed on their mantle began playing music.

“Ah! Look who's on TV!” Hadley sang as she helped Mal off the pedestal.

Mal sat down on Evie's bed in a mess of yellow tulle.  

The TV went on about Mal and Ben's tour of the kingdom.

Hadley and Evie were busy sketching more designs for gowns and didn't hear Mal gasp.

 When they turned around Mal was on the other side of the bed with her spell book and a text book, obviously having spelled herself to speed read.

Evie placed her hands on her hips as she spoke up.

“ I know Mal's secrets of fitting in and Ben wouldn't like it one bit.” 

Mal just glanced at her.

“ Haven't you already had enough secrets between the two of you?” Hadley asked sitting down beside her.

“ You two remember what I was like before I started using my spell book, I was a complete disaster.” 

“Well, personally as your best friends, we strongly believe that this spell book..” Hadley said as she grabbed it from Mal's lap and passed it to Evie.

Mal reached for it but Evie pulled it away.

“ It belongs in the museum along with my mirror.”

Mal looked at Evie.

“Don't give me the face.” Mal pouted.

“ Put the pout away. Mhm! You know I'm right.” Evie pursed her lips as she put the book back on the bed.

“ You don't ever miss running wild and just breaking the rules?” Mal inquired.

“ Like stealing, lying and fighting?” Hadley replied

“Yeah”

“No!”

“ M come here”

Mal scoffed as Evie pulled her off the bed and stood her in front of the TV which still played.  

“ Look at where we are! We're in Auradon! And we're Auradon girls now.” She squeaked as Mal and Ben appeared on the screen. “ See, this is the land of opportunity.  We can be whatever we want to be here. So please, let's just leave the past to the past, okay?” She whispered the last part.

“ Yeah, I mean look at these shoes!” Evei said as she picked one up and held it eye level. “ Look at them!” 

“ They are nice.” 

“Thank you I try my best!” Hadley boosted as she flipped her hair over her shoulder.

The three giggled as they helped Mal out of her dress.

When free period was over the three met up with the boys at the lockers and proceeded to their next classes together.  

Every time they passed a group of girls, they giggled and waved at Jay who flirted back.  

Carlos was beginning to grow extremely jealous of the fact that Jay was getting all the attention.  

“Why do you tourtre them?” Carlos asked “ just pick someone to take to cotillion with already!”

“ I'm going solo. That way I can dance with all of them.” Jay chuckled and elbowed him in the side.

Carlos laughed and Hadley rolled her eyes.  She knew Jay had a crush on Lonnie, Mulan's daughter, she was the only one who could see it.  

The five stopped and Evie looked at her schedule for dress fittings.  They all looked up when Jane came bouncing over calling for Mal, with Lonnie and Ruby in toe.

Carlos's eyes went wide and he started sputtering words out. He finally came up with a full sentences, but it ended up being about carrot cake.

Hadley and Evie giggled silently as Jay put an arm around Carlos's shoulder whispering a ‘smooth’ as he led him down the stairs.  

“We have an opening for a dress fitting at 3, who wants it?” Evie stepped forward with Hadley's arm linked with hers.

Lonnie and Jane jumped for it but Lonnie was first.  

“Hadley, we have that project we have to work on today at three.” Ruby stepped in.

“ Oh right! I completely forgot! E, will you be ok to do Lonnie without me?” Hadley pleaded with her.

Evie sighed. “Sure” 

“ Thanks E! I promise I'll help you with Chad's fitting later.” 

Lonnie, Evie, Ruby and Hadley stood behind Jane as she finished talking to Mal.  

“ I can hardly wait to see what your wedding will look like.” Lonnie piped up.

“Yeah ! me too.. wait what?!” Mal shouted.

“The royal cotillion is like getting engaged to be engaged to be engaged.” Jane explained.

“Oh. I knew it!” Evie gahsped

“ Everyone knows it” Ruby laughed

“ I didn't know it!” Mal was losing her cool by the second. “ How come nobody told me that? Is my entire life planned out in front of me?” 

As Mal ranted Ben walked up behind her

“Hi Ben!” The girls sang.  

Jane pulled him to side as Lonnie and Evie linked arms, and Hadley and Ruby linked arms and strolled away to their next classes giggling.

Hey guys! Here is part 2 hope you enjoyed it! I know these first two parts have been a bit anti-climactic but it does get better. If you would like to be tagged for the next part please message me.  Also if you want to read the illustrated version over on my Wattpad (@phelpsphan)!  Please like and comment for Part 3!!

Summary: You would think that six months in Auradon would do any villain kid good.  Well, not Hadley.  After the events of the Coronation, Hadley's mood took a downward spiral; and for one reason, guilt.  She'd broken a promise and left her best friend on the Isle of the Lost.  How will she handle seeing him again when certain circumstances bring her back to the Isle? Will she finally tell him what she really feels?  

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in Descendants.  Hadley and the plot between her and Harry are mine. 

[thelittlehansy]

My Ranking of Disney princes ( Part 2)

*this ranking count actual prince by birth and marriage no disney guy.

6- prince henry

yeah charming has a name 😅 we can discovered this on internet ! the reason why he is not at the same position as prince florian is thank to cinderella 3. we get to see so much about him. how awkward he can be , how crazy he can be also ( that jump at the windows was insane XD ) he is so devoted to cinderella and twist in time show us how much he loved cinderella. i love how euphoric he is to finally met her and how he doesn't want to marry like his father wants him to do.   i can’t help to imagine he is a concerned husband and would love a lot to makes cinderella a paradise after what she has endured all her life. He is never called prince charming in the movie but i can see him being charming but also i have headcanon that he is someone who always wants to be polite and rarely wants to contradict people. i can also see him always wanted to saw the good in people to the point of making mistakes sometimes. 

so i like him a lot and i can't find any trait that would make me dislike him ? I wanted to also talk about the original we say a lot that he fall in love for cinderella because she was pretty but i think this  could be also for a other reasons , his dad has throw a big party all the girls are looking at him  waiting to marry him and it bore him so much and then there is this girl who  hasn't notice him is not even looking at him and seems so lost. i like to think this is because of that he fall in love for cinderella and i think it will be logical to his character he doesn't care if she is of lower statue that him so he will also wants a girls that doesnt care he is the prince i guess

5- Flynn rider/Eugene Fitzherbert

i love eugene ! i really like his personality , he is a sarcastic and really soooo funny ! one of my favorite i like his adventurous side of his personality he is interesting and his backstory make him for me even more interesting.

the story of the little eugene is so sad and at the same time touching , it give him so much depth and i really like that ! i like when we saw in the movie the side of personality that is not that much confident.  his love for rapunzel is so sweet to watch he begin to be selfish and at the end show us how much selfless he can be when he sacrifice himself for rapunzel.

really loved him  there is also nothing i can think that i dislike about him but i prefer the others^^

4-3 ( can’t decide) Prince Hans and Prince Naveen 

our two disney gold digger makes equally for me the 3th and 4th place. if their are here this is not because there are particularly the nicest  prince but because i find them to be the most interesting disney princes. 

they both succeeded in the same thing for me  : make me interest in them much more than the princess of their movie. 😅

i want to see what looks like maldonia , the southern isles , i want to know everything about both of them ! XD why naveen’s parents cut him off ? why hans parents choose to send their 13th son to arendelle coronation? i want to knows about their parents , their sibling , their relationship with them how many language does naveen speak ? I want to knows more words in maldonian and how many nephew and niece hans has 😅 i really i just find both of them so much interesting to discovered ! a frozen heart give me a little of all of that now , i need something about naveen ! 

i also loved their personality not because their are nice !  naveen is a lazy and womanizer prince who try to marry girl for her money !  hans is the 13th manipulative prince of a kingdom who try to woo a princess for the crown so while naveen is never show hans ‘s cruelty and is not a disney villain i really find him really mean like very mean snobbish to tiana and also lawrence and while he also never have morality issues at the level of hans show in frozen he is not the most moral prince. in the movie he show us be  vain , lazy , snobbish , pretentious , arrogant , mean and humiliate lawrence and be  little a diva. in conclusion a very spoiled prince at the beginning of his movie. For hans well it is obvious since he is also a disney villain he is guy willing to murder for his own gains and manipulate a poor princess to have what he wants.

what makes me like them also is because they both have a relatable side than makes them for me two very touching prince.  Hans live all his life with a father that hates him , brothers that overshadow him , and a family that abuse him all his life moraly and physically. It was show  in the book "a frozen heart" that he mainly try do to what he did to  make his dad proud and have his approval.He has a tragic past and i want to say life since his fate is to go back to them.  Naveen on his side is a prince that never was taught anything and doesn't know what to do , how to do for things for himself. his parents left him all alone working with issues while never ever making him be able to do something on his own like what he say to tiana. 

“ when you live in a castle everything is done for you all the time they dress you ,feed you , drive you  brush you teeth i admit it was a charming life until my parents cut me off and suddenly i realized i don’t know how to do anything" awww no naveen dont say that you play great the ukelele 😅

 2-1 ( also can’t decide) Prince eric and Prince Philip

This two badass monsterslayer are my two favorite disney princes 😍 cant decide which one i love the most so they are 2th and 1th both ! 

It may seems weird because i put at 3th and 4th two guy that are jerk and now i m putting one of the nicest princes. 

the first thing i want to say about them is that with them they makes sure that things are done haha XD there are with mushu ( if i m not wrong) the only nice disney characters to have intentionnally killed an other characters. i  absolutely love how badass they both are when they killed ursula and maleficent not only there are badass but there are also obviously very brave ! they do share similarities but...they still are very different🤔

phillip is cocky  flirty while Eric show us to be less firly and i think has a more shy side. Phillip use manipulation eric not that much and just eric appears for me to be more naive.

i love both their personality ! 

i love phillip personality , he is like i say brave but he is also flirty but without being a jerk ,  fanciful , funny , and what i like the most about him is his progressive side :

“ stop living in the past father this is the 14th century and nowadays....”😂

love this quote^^ that i think since phillip is not the most developed prince can be used to developed his personality. like i can see him being someone open mind ,modern , rebellious and maybe a 14th century social justice warrior ? 😆

just look him and dare to tell he has no personality when he show us in the first seconds of the movie how much he can have : 

Nope ! It is not all the time love at first sight ! 😉

with eric , i find his personality be very refreshing and he is one of the oldest princes.

eric is not a jerk or someone compensating his lack of confidence s by too much confidence he is just a guy that is 100% nice ! he is gentleman , he is a sweetheart.

he is often accused to have choose vanessa over ariel but people all the time forget that he was put under a spell by ursula . what i  wanted to say is that “kiss the girl” just show us how much faithful he actually is  , he has a girl in his mind and his not gonna try to have an other at the same time. so i like his devotion to the girl that save his life. 

and that’s why i love about him , he is really change from the kind of man we have in disney princess movies. He is just a guy that is nice.

[dillydedalus]

september reading

there is literally no way it is september. impossible. anyway this month we have  horror, Fake Dating, the rashomon effect, a time war, and most importantly, no neutrals to be found anywhere

the old man & his sons, heðin brú (tr. from faroese by john f. west) published on the faroe islands in 1940 and the first faroese novel to be translated into english, this is a story about the dramatic shift in life style during the 30s on the faroe islands, from hardscrabble subsistence farming/fishing to market economy. interesting look at changing life on isolated isles, and a much lighter (and shorter) take on the stubborn autonomous subsistence farmer than laxness’s independent people. 3/5

the white shroud, antanas škėma (tr from lithuanian by karla gruodis - english/claudia sinnig - german) a modernist, fragmented, nonlinear novel about a lithuanian poet gone into exile, now working as an elevator operator in a new york hotel, who is involved with a married woman but might also be terminally ill. in between the present timeline, the book flashes back (both in the character’s own writing and in third person) to his youth in lithuania, his torture at the hands of the soviet regime, his time at a DP camp in germany and so on. quite interesting, with some great writing. 3/5

things we lost in the fire, mariana enríquez (tr. from spanish by megan mcdowell) really good collection of horror-ish short stories that also touch on gendered violence, child abuse, poverty and argentinian history (esp. dictatorship and disappearances) - some stories are more overtly horror, with clear supernatural elements, others are more ambiguous. i don’t read (or watch) horror stuff so i’m a bad judge of how scary this is - i found it more gruesome and upsetting than terrifying, but the dread is strong in this one. favourites: adela’s house (hungry haunted house), end of term and the title story (women & self-inflictred violence), under the black water (the poisoned oil-choked river is very bad but maybe.... there’s something worse in there). good, vividly gruesome, sharp sharp sharp. 3.5/5

axiom’s end, lindsay ellis i really like lindsay ellis, of all the ~youtube video essayists~ she’s probably my favourite and this book a) has a cool premise - aliens + conspiracies + alien communication and b) a really cool cover, and it’s lindsay, so i was super excited for this one. and it would be unfair to say i was disappointed with it; it’s a fun first contact romp with really good pacing, cool aliens, on-brand lindsay ellis humour and some interesting ideas on communicating with someone who is truly alien and incomprehensible. it’s fine! i enjoyed it and will definitely read the sequel, it’s just... i was hoping it would be AMAZING, and it just wasn’t. no huge problems (except for a few lines i would have liked to take a red pen to), just.... it was fine. 3.5/5 

zeno’s conscience, italo svevo (tr. from italian by william weaver) imagine you’re a businessman in trieste who does a little unsuccessful writing on the side and one day you decide to take english lessons to improve your business opportunities with the uk and your english teacher is JAMES FUCKING JOYCE who tells you that you need to keep writing. incredible. anyway these are the autobiographical notes of one zeno cosini, a hapless hypochondriac smug self-delusional fool, who just cannot quite quit smoking, marries the one sister out of three he least desires, & works as an accountant (for the man who married his most-desired of said sisters) despite his rather tenuous grasp on bookkeeping. my favourite scene is when his future sister in law (2nd most desired) complains lightly about her difficulties with latin, he tells her that he believes latin is a man’s language and even roman ladies probably didn’t actually speak it, only for her to correct him on a latin quotation. i will say tho that this book is way to long to maintain the endearingness and often drags. 3/5 tfw u write for an audience of one but that one is james joyce so fair enough

der hund/der tunnel/die panne, friedrich dürrenmatt dürrenmatt (in addition to having a cool-ass name) really fucking slaps!  his stuff is really good, and often really really wild. these three stories are all weird & slightly existentially scary, two degrees left of reality, and just. so interesting! we have a man stalking a street preacher and his monstrous dog, a train going through a tunnel for way too long (and it is very scary), and a man becoming involved in a pretend-trial (or is it) and becoming convinced that he actually is a murderer (or is he, really?). anyway, dürrenmatt.... slaps. 4/5

wow, no thank you., samantha irby a mix of memoir and comedy blogpost and social critique blogpost about growing up poor & black, dating while fat, chronic illness, and settling down in rural america. it’s fine. i haven’t read irby’s previous collections so maybe i’m missing that emotional connection, but i thought it was mostly...okay?? not especially funny imo & i prefered the more serious chapters of which there weren’t enough. 2/5

they say in harlan county: an oral history, alessandro portelli really impressive oral history about life in harlan county, appalachia, focusing on the labor strikes and conflicts in the 30s and 40s, but really exploring life and politics in the region from the first non-native settlement there to today. really interesting, sometimes inspiring and often infuriating and probably worth reading if you’ve ever listened to which side are you on. 4/5

rashomon & other stories, ryunosuke akutagawa (tr. from japanese by jay rubin) fun fact: if you read the short story “rashomon” expecting to get the, y’know, rashomon effect, you won’t get it bc the film actually takes its plot from the story  “in a grove”. anyway this is an interesting collection of classic japanese short stories, many of which are actually about unreliable witnesses/narrators. i particularly enjoyed “in a grove” and the truly disturbing “hell screen”, but found this particular collection just a bit too long. 3/5

women without men, shahrnush parsipur (tr. from farsi by kamran talatoff & joceyln sharlet) a magical realist feminist novella about 5 women in iran who all try to liberate themselves from men in one way or another, more or less successfully (one of them turns into a tree, another becomes undead), until they end up in a semi-utopian garden together for a time. disturbing in its depiction oppression and sexual/gendered violence. i don’t really know how i feel about it, but it’s a really unique and interesting reading experience; very fraught and ambivalent in the end. 3.5/5

take a hint, dani brown, talia hibbert i think this is the first actual pure genre-romance book i’ve read... in years??possibly ever? idk. anyway this is mostly a pretty fun & sweet story about ambitious & emotionally constipated phd student dani brown and security guy with tragic past zaf ansari, who begin a fake relationship for Various Reasons (as you do) and both develop Real Feelings (as you do, predictably). it’s mostly really enjoyable but man i’m really not used to Romance writing & it’s a lot. in the end everyone is very genuine & earnest & emotionally honest which.... not to be even more emotionally repressed than dani but i cannot deal with that. anyway given that 2020 truly is the gift that keeps on giving this was a fun fluffy delight & i might  read more from the series. 3.5/5

this is how you lose the time war, amal el-mohtar & max gladstone two agents (red and blue) on opposing sides of a time war (the futuristic techy Agency vs the eco/organic Garden - neither of them is Good or Bad exactly) start writing letters as they hunt each other through the strands of time’s braid and eventually (inevitably) fall in love. really interesting concept of time travel and different timelines (if, like me, you conceptualise past as down and future as up, this will trip you up so much), very lyrical writing that sometimes toes the line to overwritten but mostly really works. 3.5/5

DNF: the madman of freedom square & the iraqi christ, hassan blasim (tr. from arabic by jonathan wright, german tr. by hartmut fähndrich) bindup of these two short story collections about iraq. these are incredibly brutal, depressing & horrifying stories about a country in a constant state of war & struggle. couldn’t bear it, probably not ever & certainly not right now. 

allegro pastell, leif randt (audio) this is brilliant, bitingly funny novel about a millenial couple, tanja & jerome, and their on-and-off long distance relationship. they are privileged (and half-aware of it), attractive, successful, very in touch with their own feelings (couldn’t be me), self-reflective, faintly ironic in everything bc sincerity might be cringe, and you will hate them. these are people who perform their feelings rather than feel them, dissect all their opinions and impulses to the point of both paralysis and narcissism, engage in constant navelgazing and cannot form any relationship that isn’t based in constant evaluation and judgment. they pride themselves on their nonconformity but are really the greatest conformists of all, and the most square, boring, spießig people under the veneer of their urban liberal drug-and-club lifestyle. had so much fun with it even as i was constantly cringing at these people. 4/5

[xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx]

Crêpes - Ryan Ross x Reader

Warnings: pure FLUFF

Word count: 2 917

A/N: Guess who (almost) forgot it was Ryan’s birthday again! Me! And yet I managed to write something in time… puh.

Ryan and you had been dating for a couple of weeks only when your friend Z, who had introduced you to each other, secretly told you it would be his birthday soon. For a while you had been nervous about it, not sure, what you wanted to get him. After all you were dating, but not long enough that you had a proper idea of what he might want for his birthday.

From the beginning on you had known that it could not just be something ordinary, so with the help of Z, you had spent an afternoon raiding every small store and boutique for things to spark your ideas, and in the end you had found an old, second hand, but in fantastic condition edition of his favourite novel, and an enamel pin for the vest he loved to wear.

Now you were standing in front of his door, nervously stepping from one foot to the other. It was Friday morning, and even though the blinds on the ground floor were not closed, those on the second floor, where his bedroom was located, were. So, was he still asleep? Had he forgotten to pull back the blinds when he had gotten up?

With your elbow you pushed back the bag that was slung over your shoulder, and contained the two presents, while you were holding a box with the home made muffins. You had spent way too long on decorating the four little cakes, making each one of them into their own piece of art.

With a sigh you threw a quick glance at your watch. Maybe Ryan really was still asleep, so you definitely would not ring, in order not to wake him. It probably would be best if you would come back around noon. After all you were supposed to go out together with him and his friends for lunch.

You had turned around and walked back towards your car, when suddenly a window opened behind you.

“(y/n)?”

Quickly you turned around, seeing how Ryan was poking his head through the bathroom window on the second floor. He was wearing a white shirt, and his brown locks were a wet, dishevelled mess on his head; he must have been showering.

“Hey,” you greeted, suddenly feeling embarrassed that he had caught you sneaking away.

“What’re you doing here? I thought we were only meeting for lunch,” he asked, reaching for a towel, which he used to rub his hair dry.

“I wanted to surprise you,” you admitted, holding up the box with the muffins, “happy birthday.”

Ryan’s eyes grew wide, and a smile spread over his face.

“How did you know,” he asked, leaning against the window still, obviously flattered.

“Z may have told you,” you laughed, making him grin.

“Sounds like her,” he giggled, “I’m letting you in, wait a sec.”

He disappeared from the window, and you quickly walked back to the front door which jumped open only seconds later.

“Hey there,” he whispered, wrapping you in a warm hug.

His hair was still moist, and so was his skin. He smelled of the shampoo which you found yourself liking more and more with every time you smelled it on him.

“I got something for you,” you told him, once he had pulled you through the door.

Ellwod and Dottie came running down the stairs to welcome you as well, and you quickly patted their heads before you set down the box with the muffins on a side board, and reached for the wrapped book and the pin in your bag, handing both little packages to him.

“Whoa, you didn’t have to,” Ryan mumbled as you handed him the gifts.

But it seemed like he was not even really interested in the presents, because he immediately hugged you again, kissing you softly.

“Thank you for thinking of me,” he mumbled against your lips.

“What do you think I’m doing all day long,” you joked, “Come on, open them.”

Hesitantly Ryan pulled back, and tore the scot tape off the paper in which the book was wrapped. The look of surprise on his face, when he recognized the book, made you giggle. Amazed he turned it between his hands, running his fingers over the fabric of the spine, and opening it to feel the fragile paper.

“How did you find this, this edition is ancient,” he exclaimed happily.

“Old book store,” you confessed, making him grin.

“I’ve been trying to find this edition for ages, and you just go to a store, and buy it like that,” he shook his head with a smile, kissing you again.

“This one is just something very small, but I thought you might enjoy it,” you told him when he went to unwrap the pin.

Carefully he pulled away the packaging paper you had used, and the smile on his face said more than a thousand words as he weighted the pin, designed like a dog that resembled Dottie very much, in his hands.

“It’s perfect,” he grinned, and quickly went to put it on the vest that held already more than half a dozen other pins.

Then he skipped back to you, taking hold of your face with both of his hands, and kissed you deeply, until you pulled away in need of air. You giggled and playfully pushed him, which made him grab your hands, and pull you right back into him, where he wrapped his arms around you, and lifted you up, making you squeal. Teasingly he allowed your feet to dangle in the air for a few seconds before he put you back down.

“Did you have breakfast already,” you wondered, allowing Ryan to guide you into the kitchen, the dogs following you.

“Nope, just got up,” he answered, and sat down on top of the kitchen table.

Dottie and Elwood lay down by the kitchen isle.

“So how about I make some pancakes, or crêpes, whatever you prefer, and you just sit there and relax,” you already strode over to the fridge, before Ryan had even answered.

“You can make crêpes,” he asked wide eyed, and you nodded, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“Sure thing, should I make some?”

Ryan nodded enthusiastically, and watched you closely as you skipped around his kitchen, searching together the utensils you needed. Last week you had made a cake together, so you knew your way around.

As he sat on the table, watching you mixing the batter from eggs, milk and flour, he wondered how he had deserved someone as perfect as you.

Of course Z had not lied when she had told him that you were incredibly pretty, but it had made him suspicious. A pretty face often hid an ugly character, but it was easy to tell that you were very different.

You had been a little shy in the beginning, but did not keep quiet when you disagreed with something, which had impressed him immediately. And once you had warmed up around him, he could not help but keep wondering how he had made it this far in life without you around.

You were impossibly funny, always ready for a joke, you did not judge him, when his own hesitation caused him to be slow with making decisions, you were always listening to everything he said, and you even remembered such small details like exact edition of this novel he had been looking for, even though he was sure he had only mentioned once. And it could not have been Z’s doing either, because she had not even known about this.

He smiled slightly. Yeah, he was really lucky to have you.

You even turned up on his doorstep on the morning of his birthday, carrying presents, and then just continued making breakfast. And you had been dating for how long? Not even two months? Admittedly, it had been a little weird that you had not discussed birthdays yet, but then again, you had been taking things slowly. After all the stuff Ryan had gotten himself into with past relationships because he had been rushing, he had decided he wanted to do it right this time.

And that someone, who he was together with, appreciated this, made him really happy. He knew that you had not much experience, and the little you had, had ended badly, so when he had suggested going slowly, you had been thankful for it.

But watching you standing in his kitchen, skilfully beating the batter, while the pan was ready to heat up on the stove… he did not really want to wait for anything anymore. He wanted you to move in with him, wanted you around 24/7. Then again, exactly this was what had always made things so weird in the past. He could not make things weird with you. Not with you. Not when something, someone, finally felt so right in his life. He could not risk that. And he would not.

Of course, he would still hate watching you walk away from him in the evening, but maybe, since it was his birthday, he could convince you to stay over.

Or you could take a vacation, a long weekend. You could drive along the coast, up to a small village, where you could spend the weekend by the seaside, watching the sun set over the ocean. Or you could go to the mountains, you could make crêpes in the morning, and Ryan would cook something delicious for dinner, and you could cuddle on the porch while listening to the trees surrounding the cabin.

Lost in his thoughts, he had not noticed how you were almost finished preparing the crêpes. Only when you called his name, he snapped back into reality.

“You were dreaming,” you smiled, running your hand over his bare forearm as you went to place down two plates on the table, one for each of you. “Do you have anything other to put on the crepes than the jam in the fridge?”

“Yeah, sure,” Ryan jumped off the table and went to fetch some honey and a jar of Nutella from the shelf, “Sorry I didn’t help.”

“There wasn’t anything you could’ve helped with anyway,” you smiled softly, “And you seemed to be happy with what you were thinking about.”

“Was thinking about you,” he admitted, and watched delighted as a small blush rose on your cheeks.

Hell, it should be forbidden to be this cute.

“Charmer,” you mumbled, trying to sound annoyed, but your smile gave you away.

Together you finished setting the table, and you remembered the muffins you had left in the hallway. So while you went to fetch them, while Ryan made coffee, trying not to fall over the two dogs, which had gotten up and now walked between his feet.

Once everything was prepared, you enjoyed breakfast together, talking quietly. Underneath the table, Ryan tangled his legs with yours, which made you smile fondly, and every other minute you brushed the soft fur of one of the dogs. When you finally revealed the little pieces of art you had turned the muffins into, Ryan was once again speechless.

You had decorated each one of them with a sugary sweet cream, and out of what he assumed was caramel you had poured four different shapes, one for each muffin. And to top it all off, you had sprinkled them with chocolate sprinkles, and added cut strawberries as decoration. This once again left Ryan wondering how you were not only so creative and talented to pull this off, but also lovely enough to go through the effort of making this for his birthday.

After you had cleaned the dishes, and put the kitchen back into a presentable state, Ryan suggested you should sit outside, before the weather got too hot. So you sat on the upholstered bench on the porch, looking out over the small back yard. Elwood and Dottie had immediately walked into the grass and flopped down into the warm sunshine.

Neither of you talked; instead you watched birds and insects drink from the bowls of water that were standing in the middle of the grass. Occasionally you both giggled quietly when one of the birds was bathing in one of the bird baths, splashing around wildly.

“You know, I was thinking,” Ryan eventually broke the silence.

Curiously you looked up at him. You had lain down on the bench, your head resting in his lap while his fingers combed through your hair gently, sometimes causing you to hum softly at his touch.

“I mean, it’s still a little time until then, like, two months, which is longer than we’ve been together, but maybe, if you like, we could, of course only if you feel comfortable-“

He stopped when he saw your raised eyebrows.

“Just spit it out, I won’t bite your head of, probably,” you giggled, reaching up and gently caressed his cheek.

“Halloween is on a Thursday this year. If Z’s dragging us to that party as she promised, you could take Friday off of work, and we could go on a long weekend, drive up the coast, spend a couple of days up there, just hanging out, doing nothing. What do you think?”

When he glanced down to you shyly, he found you were smiling widely at him.

“I’d love that,” you told him, making him smile just as widely back at you.

Quickly you sat up to kiss him. His lips were soft and tasted like Nutella and coffee from the breakfast. It still took your breath away, when you kissed him, even if it was only a tiny peck. But this was not a peck, and it definitely was not tiny.

Ryan relaxed against your touch for a while, trying to get his heart not to jump out of his chest, before he lifted you into his lap, allowing him to wrap his arms around your waist, while you buried one of your hands in his locks, weaving the chocolate coloured strands around your fingers.

Over the past weeks you had noticed how kissing him had started to feel different. In the beginning every kiss had been nervous, and even once the initial insecurities had subsided, there had always been tension in Ryan, the kind that would eventually manifest in aching shoulders.

You had even felt it when he was simply around you, as if he was always on the lookout for something bad to happen. But during the past two, three weeks, this tension had started to melt away, and kissing him, here on the bench in his garden, felt like he was completely relaxed for the first time. His body was soft and warm underneath you, and more than ever before you had the feeling that this was where you were supposed to be in the universe, at his side. You did not exactly believe in fate, but this… it just fit.

Where the kiss had started out as passionate and demanding, it subsided soon into something calmer, and for what could well have been hours, but felt like minutes, you had just been sitting there, foreheads gently leant against each other, noses brushing, breath fanning over skin, and occasionally a soft kiss got pressed to the other’s lips, causing both of you to smile before you went back to just looking at each other, to soaking in and enjoying each other’s presence.

The peaceful moment was rudely interrupted by the door bell, which caused both of you to shoot apart.

“Who’s that,” you wondered, following Ryan who had already gotten up.

When you walked into house, you saw that it was already past noon. You had completely lost track of time.

“Uh, I think it’s the other guys, we wanted to go for lunch, remember,” he recalled, already walking to open the door before you stopped him.

“Wait,” quickly you smoothed out his hair, which you had completely messed up, and adjusted the collar of the shirt he was wearing. That his lips were still pink and slightly swollen from all the kissing was not going to be changed that quickly, so you shrugged it off, and gave him the okay to open up the door.

Except that he quickly leant over to kiss you again, sending your mind, yet again into a haze. Only the aggressive ringing of the doorbell managed to distract you, and Ellwood, followed by Dottie, came running down the hallway, excited to see who was being kept outside for so long.

With a smirk Ryan took your hand, and opened the door, in front of which his friends had waited to pick him up. When they saw he had finally opened up, they all started cheering, and singing happy birthday for him. He laughed and embarrassedly tried to hide his face in the crook of your neck.

Only audible to your ears he whispered: “Okay, we’ve done the social part, I want to be alone with you again, and cuddle.”

You giggled and shook your head, pushing him away from you and towards his friends.

“You’ll have to wait ‘till after Halloween,” you replied just as quietly, just for him to hear.

Sending you a challenging glance and a sigh, Ryan eventually accepted his fate, and grabbed his keys and purse, before he put the dogs on leashes and walked them out of the door, so his friends could drag him out for his birthday lunch. You followed him smiling.

[cynnymonsnaps]

Let the Tides of Change Come

Pairing(s): Carlos de Vil/Jane/Oc, Ben/Mal, Evie/Doug, Gil/Jay

Word Count: 2,062

Summary: Sometimes the power to rewrite things comes in the form of jumping right into the Descendants universe and giving everyone a piece of your mind.

Doug's stereotypical nerdy band kid shtick? Out the window it goes. The adults not knowing how to do anything right? Not on my watch. Kids being stuck on a prison of an Island? You're all coming with me now.

For Micha, they've taken on the grueling task of heading to the surface to help teach the kids of Auradon and the Isle that it's okay to talk things out and to not give into the rules and expectations of the older generation.Will someone at least give these teens a moment to breath in between saving the kingdom please? Jesus.

[This series goes through all three movies as well as the main events of the books to fix some of the unexplained happenings in the timeline. A very long winded story to fill the void in my heart of there being no more Descendants. *sobs*]

Warnings: Mentions of drowning.

A/N: Posting this on tumblr too so it can reach more people, but welcome to my new series!  I’ve already got all the plot laid out in a doc on my computer so it’s all a matter of time to sit down and actually write the beast. Anyways, enjoy!

          From the darkened gloomy waters emerged Uma, daughter of Ursula, dressed to the nines in golden sea themed jewelry and a sequin dress with the Isle of the Lost behind her. Seeming to notice the camera she turned towards the screen, swaying to the waves of the ocean with a sneer across her lips. “What?” The teal haired girl who leaned in closer, her golden seashell necklace glowing in the night. “You didn’t think this was the end of the story. Did you?” She gave an evil cackle before slowly sinking back into the murky depths of the sea, leaving no trace of her in sight. Before I knew it, the screen faded to black and the credits were rolling as a cover of “Kiss the Girl” played. From the comfort of my wheelchair I lazily watched the credits all the way through, having watched the movie multiple times to know it was the end.

           I loved the Descendants series with all my heart. From its catchy music, to it’s colorful and eye-catching costume design, to the characters who grew alongside me as I aged. Even through all its little plot holes and Disney-ified solutions I had stuck with the series for a whopping 4 years, never losing the passion I always had for it. There was something about the concept of the next generation of Fairy Tale characters and sticking them in a multiverse that was so eye catching. It was the same reason I liked Every After High, RWBY, Once Upon a Time and the many other iterations of the same concept. Which was why I felt pretty frustrated with Disney and how they wrote some of their characters. True, Descendants was marketed to a children’s audience, so there had to be some liberties taken and some things had to be dumbed down, but I wished they had done more with the story and its characters. There were so many ideas that could’ve been bounced off, it was almost a goldmine of storytelling.

Take Doug, son of Dopey, for example. He was always portrayed as a nerdy band kid who didn’t know how to get the girl he liked without being creepy and clingy. He had very plain fashion sense and hardly ever spoke to help the plot in anyway. A basic throw away character in all reality. I could see through, that Doug was just as silly as his father in his own story and always seemed to pop out more when dance scenes come on. He would move his body in a way that seemed like there was a firecracker that wanted to be let out, sharp moments here, exaggerated expressions there. The boy knew how to have fun and it was such a shame that the writers hadn’t let it shine through his personality or lines. Such a waste of material.

I had much hope that Descendants 3 would somehow right these wrongs though. The release date was nearing, and I’ve been saving myself from any spoilers like the trailers or any music videos that Disney released. I wanted to have a fresh pair of eyes when I dove straight in. And if anything, I knew that I’d have a fun time just experiencing the last movie in the trilogy.

           Stretching out my tired body, I got up to look at the digital clock on the table. A bright “2:00 AM” blinked back at me and I knew it was time to head to bed. I was always a night owl, so it was common for me to stay up until the early morning, but the premier was only a few days away and I needed to fix my chaotic sleep schedule before then. How else could I watch along with the cast all the way through? Closing everything off I gave one last yawn before headed to bed and falling into the soft sheets. Drifting to sleep faster than I expected, I hadn’t even realize anything was amiss when I felt the brush of liquid surround me. It was when I felt the water gently rise when I furrowed my brows in confusion. “Funny. For a dream this kind feels a little too real.”

I tried to open my eyes to wake up, but found a heavy force keeping them shut. “Huh?” Trying to move my arms this time, it felt like no matter how hard I tried to raise them, some sort of pressure was keeping them locked to my sides. Alarm bells were ringing in my head and I felt panic rip through me as the water rose faster. “Fuck! Is this how I’m gonna die? Death by drowning in my sleep?” With my effort to break free failing and the feeling of water rising almost past my face, I couldn’t help but take in a deep breath before fully being submerged. The whole situation filled me with dread as I was left helpless with nothing to do but wait for the end to come.

But it never did.

-

In my wait I could hear the distant muffled call of a name above me.

“-ha”

A sense of relief washed through me as the voice called out again seeming a little closer than before.

“-cha.”

If only I could just move something, anything to catch their attention, maybe they would be able to save me from this nightmare. With one last try I went to get up, putting every inch of energy into my limbs.

“Micha!” A hand shot through the water, grabbing onto my arms and helping me break through the surface. I couldn’t help but gasp for air and flail my arms to try to keep afloat, but what was I to do when I almost drowned? “Calm down child! You’ve only swum down for a few moments and you act like you’ve been under for decades. If you do not calm down, you will take in the water.” The voice scolded with a hint of concern. Just like the voice said I accidentally gasped a bit of water in my freak out and made myself cough in an attempt to get it all out again. “By the gods, let’s just get you to shore so you can collect yourself.” The voice huffed. Once again, I was pulled along in the water, kicking my legs weakly to try to get back to shore as fast as I could.

           Trudging out of the water I laid down on the cool earth, facing the sky as I tried to slowly fill my lungs with air again. The air was surprisingly fresh, and, in the distance, I could actually hear the sounds of wildlife. They helped me ground myself and it almost felt like the heavy presence I’d felt in the water disappeared into thin air. At least that nightmare of a situation was over now.  As I sighed in relief, having a little moment to myself before I felt the voice kneel down beside me. “Have you collected yourself?” The voice called out again. Opening my eyes, I was greeted by a man who looked to be in his late twenties frowning down at me. He had long piercing white hair that pooled over his shoulders and soft indigo blue eyes that seemed to make me feel safe and secure. His skin was a russet, reddish-brown and there seemed to be blue tattoos marking his right pec. There was a slight familiar feeling about him and his tattoos, but I couldn’t quite place my finger on it. “You usually never lose yourself when venturing the waves. Was there something that frightened you?”

           “Uhh.” You awkwardly let out unsure how to answer exactly. My hesitation caused his frown lines to grow harsher, like he’d been frowning for a long time. Not wanting to anger him I quickly sat up, but because of my fast motions I got a little lightheaded. He immediately steadied me with a firm grip and his eyebrows seemed to furrow. If he kept that up, he’d probably get so many forehead wrinkles. I looked around where the two of us were and found that we were somewhere I’ve never been before. “Where… uh.” I coughed out awkwardly. “Where are we?” He gave me an incredulous look, like maybe the water had gotten to my head or something. I didn’t really know what to say though. I’ve never been to such an open and natural place with waterfalls and stone ruins before, having been surrounded by tall buildings and concrete streets my whole life.

           “Michael, we are in Atlantis near one of the coves you love to explore ever since you were a child. Do you not remember that?” The man gives me a suspicious look when I almost went to shake my head but quickly nod when I caught myself. I’ve heard of Atlantis before, having read it in my history books from school, but there was no way I’ve ever been here before in my life. And who exactly was this Michael? I heard him calling me Micha earlier too, but that wasn’t my name. I quickly shake myself out of his grasp and go to the edge of the water, being careful not to fall in. Didn’t want another drowning spell when I had just woken up.

           I couldn’t believe my eyes. On the surface of the water I saw a similar pair of soft surprised indigo eyes staring back at me. A soaking met mop of white hair on my head as lines of the same blue tattoos ran just under my right eye and my left shoulder. My skin color was the same russet reddish-brown as the man’s and I looked to be about 10 or so. I reached down just to make sure this wasn’t a hallucination and as I did, the little girl in the reflection did the same, causing the surface to ripple. As I did so a little blue crystal with a dim glow dangled in front of me. Wait a minute.

White hair,

Blue eyes,

Glowing blue crystal,

Atlantis.

Oh my god. Was I in the lost empire of Atlantis right now? Did I literally get transport into the Disney universe? But this isn’t my body… Oh my Jesus and a fry stick! Did I die and get put into someone else’s body?!?

           “Did you hit your head on one of the rocks when you swam down there?” Out of nowhere the stranger took my head into his hands and searched for any bumps or bleeding while I was having another mini freak out. He slightly man handled me here and there which I didn’t take too kindly towards. When he found nothing, he went to feel my forehead as if I could have gotten a fever in the short time I had been in the water. “You seem alright physically, and your temperature is just fine. Maybe you’re gotten a screw loose?”

           “Hey!” I brush off his hand and give a small scoff, in response he chuckled to himself. I gave him a little glare and proceeded to ring out my hair a little. I still didn’t know who he was and wasn’t too keen on letting him get too close, but at least I now knew where I was. Now the question was, why was I in Atlantis?

           The stranger watched as I made some distance between us and sigh. He didn’t know what I was thinking exactly but with how strange I was acting it he thought it was best not to do anything too extreme. He also went to ring out his hair and went to grab us some towels that were lying to the side. He handed me one before making speaking up again. “We should head back to where Mother and Father are. I’m sure they could come to a better conclusion as to what is going on then I can.” He motioned for me to follow him and slowly started to make his way over to an open path. I was reluctant to follow him at first, but at the mention of “Mother and Father” the idea of going along with him wasn’t too bad if somehow, I could get these new parents of mine to introduce me to Milo and Kida.

I just hoped they were still around for me to talk to.

[tamarindtoffee]

Best English movies in 2018

List of some of the best english movies I have seen this year! (No particular ordering)

1. Upgrade :

One of the best movies I have seen this year. The action sequences are so exhilarating that I wish there was a sequel already. This is the only sci-fi movie worth mentioning this year (sorry Annihilation).

2. Ralph wrecks the internet :

Wreck it Ralph is one of my all time favourite animations. The sheer amount of imagination this franchise packs is amazing and the new installment just pushes the limit further. I am amazed at how much detail went into making the internet setup like the data packages sent across, user personas maintained, search engines, tweets, etc. But what really stood out for me is that the film packs a great message of handling friendships when your life is changing. I personally lost several friends because I couldn’t handle their life changes. Well, its never too late I guess.

3. Game night

This is a complete fun filled entertainer. It delivers exactly what you would expect from this genre. The real shiners are of course the lead cast Rachel McAdams and Jason Bateman. Who knew they could scorch the screen with their funny side.

4. Searching :

Another good thriller I have scene this year. The concept is refreshing and the execution is flawless. The fact that they switch from Windows to MAC in the 2000′s is a testament to the goodness of the execution. There is not so much mystery in the whole story but the movie as a whole is just worth the time.

5. Crazy rich asians :

Henry Golding! Eeeeee! That boy is just HAWT. It has great story too but Henry Golding! As for the movie, pure rom-cam just set in a different culture. But as long as that boy is on screen, I will watch anything, so.

6. A quiet place :

Another good thriller with great execution. Personally, what I loved most about the movie is the lifestyle itself. I mean, listening to radio all day eating raw food and laying still and not making any noise just seems like an amazing daily routine to me. I’m just saying, I could live comfortably in these settings you know.

7. Bad times at el Royale :

This movie trailer looked like it is gonna be a treat for Chris Hemsworth fans! So, I went into the movie expecting to see the shirtless almighty. As I was waiting for him to appear, I realized how crazy awesome this movie is. It was just riveting from the beginning and was unsettling by the end. The movie really stands out for its ambiguity and symbolism. All in all, great story telling and amazing cast. Do not miss it at any cost.

8. Mission Impossible: Fallout :

Tom cruise and Henry Cavill in one movie! I would just watch it even if its worse than a super bowl commercial. And this movie has some amazing action sequences. It isn’t the best spy movie ever but it is good enough to make this list.

9. Hereditary :

I wish I hadn’t seen this movie because it has so many disturbing sequences. Oof. It is Donnie Darko meets The Boy meets Insidious.In any case, it is a terrifying movie and you should not miss it because is a life experience.

10. Johnny English strikes again :

Funny! Really funny! Mr. Bean did it again. The scene with the VR headset where Johnny interacts with real world thinking it’s a game is just phenomenal and will make you giggle uncontrollably whenever you remember it. Or is it just me?

11. The spy who dumped me :

Cute Mila Kunis and Kate McKinnon are cute. This movie packs so much punch in terms of feminism and oppression and it is all cleverly disguised under this sarcastic tone of situational comedy that it is amazing. It reminds me of the Melissa McCarthy 2015 film Spy and if you liked that movie, you will love this.

12. Eighth grade :

This is a really good movie on account that it is very realistic and makes you really uncomfortable by reminding you of your own awkward teenage years. You see the protagonist win these small and trivial milestones and yet you are so proud of her. It’s just really good. The fact that it is scripted only makes it all the more precious. I just couldn’t believe that awkward teenager was in someone’s head and it got translated from script onto screen.

13. Love, Simon :

Ooh, this is such a nice movie and a great book. More than the love track, I love all other tracks like the friendships and the parent-child relationship. I think they are the core of this character who then stands on these strong relationships and goes on grab another good relationship.

14. Set it up :

A netflix original with some great content. Another rom-com of course but the premise and the actors just make it stand out. Definitely worth a watch if you like Glen Powell because he is just so underrated.

15. Tully :

Another one of Charlize Theron’s acting master pieces. As a mother of three, Tully is the heartbreaking story of a mother who struggles to keep her sanity when she can’t find time for herself with everything happening in her life.

16. Dumplin’ :

I put this movie on the list because it helped me discover this whole new genre of Dolly Parton and cross-dressing. It is a cultural experience of sorts and you should have it.

17. Sierra Burgess is a loser :

The only reason this movie is on this list is because of Noah Centineo. That boy is yum and can be consumed only through these Netflix teen flicks. None the less, enjoy him.

18. Isle of dogs :

Haven’t seen the whole movie yet. But heard it’s really good and then there is Wes Anderson too. So watch it and let me know how you feel about it.

19. Avengers Infinity war :

It has become customary to watch these installments in summer and wait for the next one to come out year after year. But if you have invested in 18 movies before, what else are you gonna do? I blame RDJ for this burden.

20. Black Panther :

Hooray! I am at the end of my list. And I don’t mean to belittle Black Panther in any way. It was just as great as any other super hero movie released this year. I sure wish to see many more of the Wakandan supremo in the future.

Some more honorary mentions: Deadpool 2, A simple favor, Spiderman into the spiderverse, Destination wedding, etc.

Check out my other movies reviews here --> http://tamarindtoffee.tumblr.com/tagged/movie%20review

[exotahu]

It’s here, the giant Bronycon post!

As per usual I don’t usually make this many words ever so shit might be wonky. and also it was written over the course of a few days so things might not line up in the right order. Also, fair warning I get kinda weird and sentimental at the end there. Also I have no idea if tumblr will break the formatting real bad so heres hoping it doesn’t

Thursday We left early without much incident. Only a group of 4 this time. Me, Andy, his brother Justin, and Andy's girlfriend Sam who was coming in via plane.

It was a really easy journey. Even stopped at the one Speedway with the good hotdogs. I decided to tie a ribbon in my hair too, I always say I should do something more with it than just tie it back. So I figured I'd try it. We got to Baltimore in what felt like no time at all. We checked in and went to our rooms and waited for Sam. I fiddled with my little electric name badge thingy I bought last year. Got it to say my name and Bronycon 2018 with some hearts and sparkles. Once Sam got settled in, we all met back up to go to pre-reg. She and I were afraid we'd weird each other out but we ended up getting along great. We all went to pre-reg and picked up our badges. Then, after dropping our stuff off at the hotel we ventured back out into the inner harbor for food and hanging out. We opted not to go to Dick's this time, opting instead to go to Tir na Nog. Got my usual pub food. The Vodka cranberry (yes even though I planned on drinking later) and the plain cheese burger. I like to eat the same thing at all the places, because I think it's neat to see the same food through the different lenses of different restaurants. Tir na Nog in Baltimore is different than O'Toole's in Albany is different from Jack Astor's in Toronto. After that we went to the big Barnes and Noble and looked at books and stuff. Then we all went to that ice cream shop thats right next door. They sell tea apparently so I got a small one. Missed the regular size straws so I had a huge straw (Like a goddamn footlong) in a tiny cup (like 3 inches). We went to the bars in Fells point after that. We only got slightly lost, but we found it. We didn't register for the actual bar trot, cause you don't really have to to enjoy drinks. We went to the Dog's Watch Tavern first cause they usually have a good shot, which in this instance was a Pinkie Pie shot. Don't know what was in it but I had several. We went to the Admiral after that. It was the best as it usually is. I think I drank like, 4 of the Trixie, there was a Sunset Shimmer drink (But it was secretly the Applejack. I liked it anyway). And I had most of a Rainbow Dash drink. I must say, I absolutely adore the atmosphere at this bar. The bartender is great and clearly loves what he does. A couple people recognized me cause I sit in the same spot more or less every time, and the goggles that I wear. That was pretty neat. Got pretty drunk, decided to go back after that to prep for the next day. We got a little bit lost on the way back too, but it brought us by the CVS so I bought a couple boxes of PopTarts. We got back to the hotel and went to bed.

Friday

Tried to get up for opening but missed most of it. Caught the tail end of it though. Sleep deprivation got me, plus the buttload of alcohol didn't really help. Hung out in the harmony plaza til the apple family panel. There was a photoshoot that happened but there wasn't a ton of people there. Saw apple family VA panel. It was pretty funny. Went to the vendor hall and walked it to get the layout, I didn't want to just chaotically walk around and not know where anything was so I strictly just walked each isle in a pattern. Actually helped me remember where booths were. I spoke to an artist about getting a comission for a friend who couldn't make it. His slots were full for the day so I figured I'd come back Saturday. I bought an original piece from him, which was actually pretty cool. I then went to the comic booth. I am trying to get at very least the A and B covers for every comic, Plus I wanted first prints of the first issue mane 6 covers. I got the first prints of the two #1 issues I needed. Then I got invited to Jonny Rockets, and due to needing to finish something in the vendor hall it took me a little bit. My friends are cool and waited for me even though I went on one hell of a journey to get there. So I got out of the vendor hall which exited by the Hilton sky bridge. Figure, shit I'll just take the sky bridge on the opposite side so I go for it. Get out there, pass the other hotel (hyatt?) and what used to be a wide open plaza. (Now it's a parking lot). Realize the goddamn thing ends there and there is no way down (unless I went back through the convention center and all the way back around), and more of the bridge is missing. Figure I don't want to walk all the way back so I go through the hotel. No idea if I was supposed to go through that door cause it looks like there were unused decorations everywhere. Nobody stopped me so I made it out to the street. Realize I still have to walk to the corner to cross, but say fuck it and randomly cross in the middle to the street island thing. Then I almost died to a puddle walking on the sidewalk behind some food trucks. Caught myself though. Finally I get there and we hang out and get a burger. On our way back I managed to drop a Pokemon on the Bronycon gym. We went back to the vendor hall. Hung out and looked at stuff. Me an Sam went shopping for pillows. We each bought one, only the case though. Had no space to store the full whole thing.  We went to the whoves line pannel after that. It was really funny, especially the bit where they acted like the friendship map was a computer that got a ton of viruses and went to a "bad dragon" website. I am surprised I've never gone to it before. We went to Jimmy Johns for dinner and then dropped our stuff off at the hotel and headed to the palooza. The performances were great, although they somehow got super off schedule. I bought a Shake-Ups CD. I stayed until the end. I enjoy the palooza immensely, but those 2AM nights are rough. My legs end up being noodles and its a guarantee I won't get to bed until atleast 330. Which is about when I went to bed.

Saturday

Had a bit of a slow start but I wanted to speak to the artist about that comission for my friend who couldn't make it. Even though I was slow, I still got there early enough. The thing he wanted would have been too complex, so I came up with something I think he'll like. Then I went to the comic booth and figured out what I needed to complete the A and B covers for the main comic series. It was cool cause they just let me into the booth to look. I believe I've done it, I just have to add everything to my app to make sure. I ran out of space in my comic storage, so I only did the main series. Next year I will buy for the side series. (There is a lot less). As of typing this out, I found the shop's location. Only a 3 hour drive. Might make a trip of it so I don't have to worry about it at next year's con. Dunno. Met back up with Andy and Sam in vendor hall. We looked around before leaving to get food and make a hotel drop. We got lunch at the JJ before heading to the script reading panel with Tabitha. Usually they're pretty strict about recording at these. Usually one of the staff says something about my camera, but nobody said anything. Or mentioned not recording it at all. I wonder if anyone uploaded it. It was about the mane 6 and a convention called "boomycon" which was about an alt. universe Derpy as a comic character who rides a meteor or something. The comic characters crossed over into the regular universe and shenanigans ensued. It was pretty funny. After that we went back to vendor hall to check on something, and I bought another of those dang pillows, and these weird flow rings, plus some other small stuff, including some super fucking adorable chibi-ball plushie things of Fluttershy and Tempest (Pretty sure I posted pictures). We made a hotel drop and got food. We tried to get into the DIY pony plush making but ultimately the wait list was too long. At this point we went to the sky terrace thing. Apparently there was a wedding, which is really fucking cool! Then we just found some chairs to just kind of chill in. Justin had a mini-pizza that came in a mini-pizza box. We're just sitting there talking and some guy came up and leaned over. We all thougt maybe he had left something. Then we notice he's signing the empty pizza box? He then just says you're welcome and leaves. It took a second then we realized... It was MA Larson. Fucking hillarious. I went back to the hotel again, meeting up with a friend on the way back. Met back up with everyone else at the palooza after that.  Brought the rings I bought and was playing with them, while doing my awkward-ass flail dancing. A couple people thought they were cool which was neat. I really enjoyed all the performances. A cover of 500 miles happened, Eurobeat was fantastic. Great show. I caught a T-Shirt that was thrown. (Which never happens ever and even though it's a small size it still fits.) Again I stayed until 2 AM, got to bed about 330.

Sunday Sundays are usually always the chill day where not much happens. Woke up around the usual time and headed over to the vendor hall. I wandered and bought some last minute things (Pillow #3...). I met back with everyone else around noon. We spent most of day in vendor hall just hanging out. One thing I did, was get a comission of my pony OC. I've been wanting to for years, just to say I had so I finally did it. I'm looking forward to it. Also saw a little digital badges that you could store pictures in. After that we went to the fountains to hang out before lining up for closing ceremonies. They opened with a nifty performance by Step2Harmony. Some of the guests said their farewells before the con chairs started talking about the numbers, a little more than 5000 people. (I don't remmeber the exact number, might have been closer to 5600?). After that was a skit involving the mascots. Blank Canvas got accepted into an art school and Hoof Beatz was going on tour, and the date they were leaving was the end of August next year. They run off stage and Mane Event just stood there like "What about us... : (" Scene end. Sure enough, the con chairs came back out and annouced that next year is going to be a 4 day event instead of a 3 day event. They also anounced that next year is going to be the last Bronycon and that they are ending the event in 2019. You could feel the moment where everybody's hearts broke. There were a lot of people crying. I was pretty choked up too, and I'm honestly not sure how I kept myself together. We walked back to the hotel. While we were waiting for the elevators, you could tell the mood was pretty sombre. Dropped off my bag and went back down to the lobby to wait for Andy and Sam. We all headed down to the inner harbor to go to Bubba Gumps. We had a hour and a half wait, that we spent hanging out in the harbor and the pavillion. One of them seemed to be closed this year. They seem to get smaller and smaller each year. Bubba Gumps as always was fantastic. I got the usual Shrimper's Heaven. Even got to eat the shrimp that Sam didn't eat. Bonus shrimp! Spent 60$ on my check and regret nothing. We went back to the hotel with the intent of playing some Shipfic in the one banquet room the hotel usually has open, which we did! Another group played the pony movie which was neat. We also saw an Insomnia Cookies down in Fells Point so we decided to order some. It took a little more than an hour. But I got the call and they showed up to the hotel and handed me a very warm box. The cookies were fantastic. Every bit worth the wait. I think I have one somewhere relatively close to my home but I'm nowhere near the delivery radius. Probably a good thing because I would go broke buying cookies. They're pretty awesome. Some guy had also had a baby skunk! No idea how he pulled that off or how the hotel was cool with it but it was really cute. Once the movie ended most of the people left. After that we went back to our rooms. Me and Sam got a group picture of all the pillows we bought. I packed most of my stuff after that and went to bed.

Monday.

Woke up, got the car all packed and cleared the rooms pretty quick. We had thought to do some other stuff, but we really didn't have time. Instead we went to Tir na nog and just hung out until we had to leave. Any day you can be mildly drunk before noon and have it not be a problem is a good day. We dropped Sam off at the airport after saying our goodbyes. We hit the road after that and started our journey home. Which was honestly fairly uneventful. No one's windsheild broke. No one's catalytic converter got stolen. We made a couple of stops but nothing really interesting. Got home way earlier than I'm used to. Like 5:30-6PM. And then I realized, Bed, Bath and Beyond was still open. So I drove out there to get the actual pillows for the pillow cases. Found the exact ones the guy at the booth I bought them from. They were on sale, so they were only 20$. Then I had the fun time of fitting 3 hugeass pillows in my really tiny car. Got back home and finished unpacking.  

Conclude:

I had a really good time this year. It was very a relaxing trip and I enjoyed spending time with everybody. It never quite feels long enough. I didn't make any real attempt at cosplaying this year. Just didn't really feel into it. I did wear my Sylveon ears that were given to me by a friend though. And I had my goggles, which are just kind of a thing now I guess. I tied a blue ribbon in my hair too. I never do anything with it and I guess I decided now was the time. I think I'm going to do that more often from now on. Next, I am beyond incredibly sad that next year is the last one. Bronycon has been one of the big things I look forward to doing each year. It's easily been one of the best cons I've ever been to. The atmosphere was great, the staff was great. The con ending will also mark the end of a 12 year tradition for me of going down to Baltimore for a con. The only year I wasn't able to go to was 2010 because there was just no way I was going to be able to swing it. Aside from that, I went to Otakon from 2006 until 2012. I had honestly kinda burned out on that though and wasn't sure if I was gonna go back, but it would be shortly after returning from the 2012 Otakon, Bronycon announced that they were gonna move to the Baltimore Convention Center in 2013. Some other friends were interested in going, and since I knew the area so well, we decided to go for it. I went every year after that. Hell, it's how I ended up meeting Andy (which is a pretty funny story all on it's own), it's also how I ended up recconecting with another friend of mine from way back in the day as well as others. There were good times and adventures to be had outside the Con as well. Bubba Gumps, the bar trot in Fells Point(that goddamn Trixie drink, looked like something I'd never have been able to drink, but it is easily my favorite alcoholic drink that has ever existed. I really hope I can get the recipe next year), the bigass barnes and noble, the aquarium, the pavillion. It seems like every year it gets better and I've never felt bored of it or burned out. I am going to miss this immensely, I suppose I'll have to find another con to go to, or atleast other adventures to have but one thing is for sure, I'm never going to forget any of this. All the good times that we've had, or this big thing I've been a part of or this place that has brought me so much joy over the years.

(Once next year ends and I walk out of that convention center for the last time, I am going to be a complete goddamn mess. It's going to be a terrible day for rain...)

Also, though I don't know if you'll ever read it, as I don't think we've spoken in several years now, to the person who convinced me to go to that first Otakon back in '06, Thank you. For introducing me to this place, and setting off a real wacky series of adventures. I don't know if any of this would have happened if you hadn't convinced me to come down here all those years ago. Once again, thank you, and I hope you're doing well.

tl;dr Good fuckin' con, but Pete fuckin' sad.

[finalnocturne]

Let’s talk about Evie.

So a while back I wrote a break down on disproving Mal being the toxic person a lot of people talk about her being by using a checklist of signs of if your significant other is a toxic abuser. Now I agree that there is a toxic main character in D2 and we’re going to talk about her today. Evie.

In D1 I didn’t mind Evie. She wasn’t a personality I liked but I understood why her character was that way. In D2 she does and gets away with so many things that can be considered toxic and abusive it angers me that I’ve never seen anyone else notice or acknowledge it. Instead of the checklist, I’m going to examine scenes with her and explain what’s wrong with her behavior.

Ways to be Wicked: A Mal dream sequence, so there’s not a ton of things to gather from this because of the way all of them are acting. But I’m going to note what she dreams Evie doing. Mostly that hers involves Chad and Fairy Godmother.

After the interview: Red flags immediately. Ben has to rush off to a meeting and is trying to give Mal a kiss on the cheek and say goodbye. Evie comes rushing over and roughly yanks Mal away from him. She scolds her that they need to get to a dress fitting right this second or Evie won’t be finishing her dress. She does a brief hi to Ben before dragging Mal away with “Let’s go, let’s go” and not letting them even have an actual goodbye. I don’t see this bit as funny or cute with her “you’ll be dancing in your bathrobe” I see the pulling and yanking as “you do things on my schedule and only my schedule.”

Dress fitting: We get the “I can’t breathe, you can breathe after” joke, which as a fashion designer myself, is terrible etiquette with a client, even if she’s your friend. Mal then continues on, expressing how she has so many things to do after Cotillion and she’s stressed out about them to the point that she can’t even keep it all straight. What is Evie doing when her friend is telling her about a problem? Ignoring her and praising her own work. Mal even makes a face, noticing this, but says nothing. Mal then asks a “what if we were still on the Isle” question seriously and Evie just scoffs and takes this tone to just shut her down. Mal realizes she forgot to read something, goes for her spell book and Evie, who was doing something else tunes right in on her flipping pages with this face of “she better not be doing things I told her not to.”

Just making a side note that some of the spells Mal had been using weren’t bad at all. She changed her hair color; no one was saying anything about it in D1 when she did everyone’s hair. She did a speed reading spell, she’s still reading just faster. The food spell, she had no time with everything else and Ben couldn’t take a cue that maybe he should provide the picnic since he has staff to get it ready for them.

When Evie takes the spell book, Mal acknowledges that she’s using it as a crutch. Does Evie say something like “why don’t I help you so you don’t need to use it?” No. She scolds Mal about secrets and pulls the “As your best friend” card. She further scolds Mal as if she were a child: “Don’t give me the face. Put the pout away. You know I’m right.” And basically just tells Mal that she’s out of luck doing all this because she can’t get help from anywhere. She is no way acting like a friend should when someone you say is your best friend is expressing that they’re having problems. “We’re Auradon girls now.” So shut up about the Isle and be a pretty princess Mal.

Chad’s fitting: This scene…. Really makes me angry, despite what makes me upset being so short. Now Chad is throwing out idea for his cape, trying to stand out at Cotillion. Evie does put the idea of King Chad in his head, and I will only give her this as a designer tactic since her client is trying to drastically change something when the item is mostly done. However, Doug even looks at them with the face of “are you really saying that to him?”

You get lip service acknowledging that Chad and Audrey aren’t together anymore. But when he leaves, crying mind you, what happens next? “Not a lot of there there.” Great, you’re calling back to the first movie, but the context is completely different. In D1, Doug said that to describe Chad to a girl he was looking at who was too busy staring at Chad. Chad also was spacing out so the point was being proven. This call back is thrown in in poor taste. The guy left crying and they laugh, say that line, and comment on him having a rough break up like a couple of mean girls.

Another side note, if Evie isn’t getting paid for her commissions until the dresses are delivered where did she get the money for all her equipment and materials? Nothing she has or makes is cheap.

Return to the Isle plans: “And we’ll bring the boys because there’s safety in numbers and none of us are too popular over there right now.” Okay so… if you didn’t have to bring them for safety, you had no intention of telling Jay and Carlos about Mal leaving? Even though they’re her friends too? You’re only bringing them for better protection?

“But let’s get two things straight.” She suddenly becomes very serious and demanding. Ben has to promise she won’t get stuck there again. Okay so her own personal well-being is paramount to her. The way she presents her conditions to Ben comes across like “if you don’t do this for me, I won’t help you at all then you won’t go.” This wouldn’t have been true, because Ben would have just gone over on his own then. She doesn’t control Ben like she acts like she controls Mal.

Dizzy: Evie’s not in the scene but we get important information. Evie has someone, much younger than them, still on the Isle that seems to adore the ground Evie walks on. But Evie earlier said “let’s leave the past in the past okay?” and forget everything about the Isle. So what does that say about what Dizzy means to her?

Leaving for the Isle: “Wait something’s wrong. *fixes Ben’s hat*” I just think this is a dumb pointless joke. That’s all.

Chillin’ Like a Villain: This sequence is fine. Since they do need to put reigns on Ben since he doesn’t know how to behave on the Isle. Also it’s all three of them and not just Evie doing it.

Reunion with Dizzy: You actually see Evie’s guilt starting to build when faced with having left Dizzy behind. I enjoy it. But it does show in hindsight what she was throwing aside to live as an Auradon girl and pretend never existed in her life.

Pre-Space Between: All of Evie’s reactions indicate a person being pulled out of her bubble and faced with reality of things not playing out the way she thinks it should. Mal saying that she didn’t want to spoil things for Evie when it came to Auradon really has no basis until this moment. When they first walked into those dorms in D1, Mal would’ve said something mean with Evie’s reaction. (Though that is a moment from D1 I love since it was executed well.) Up to Mal leaving in this movie, she had been trying to express herself about thinking back to the Isle and Evie was the one brushing her off. That’s not Mal apologizing for something she actually did, that’s something an abused says to their abuser to keep them satiated.

Space Between: I really can’t talk about this song much. It’s my least favorite and have to skip the scene every time. I honestly think this would’ve worked better as a Mal and Ben song (of which they don’t have a love song between them in either movie). I don’t like how it is used to basically brush off everything that happened with these two.

Returning to Auradon: After Ben goes to talk with Jane, what does Evie do? Grab Mal by the arm and start leading her away with a very firm “we need to talk.” Mal is in a fragile state so she lost her previous backbone stance and just goes with her. When Carlos stops them, she turns on him with this look of “Did you dare just say no to me?” After everything that happened on the Isle and showed Evie realizing her mistakes, she goes right back to pulling Mal around.

Evie and Doug: “Don’t be dopey.” It’s a cute scene and small confrontation, but it’s not bad. The only thing that bothers me is on both sides. I don’t like that line, it feels condescending. Doug ignoring what Evie just said about Ben. And then they both shrug the whole thing off. The scene’s not horrible it just doesn’t sit 100% with me.

Evie of the Isle: “…and his councilor Miss Evie of the Isle.” It’s implying that Evie is going to be Ben’s advisor and ambassador when it comes to Isle relations. Honestly, I think that should be Mal since she was also made a Lady of the court and all, and it would make sense to give her court responsibilities like that instead of just being a Lady to be Ben’s trophy arm candy as far as the rest of Auradon sees. But I reserve this for D3 and we’ll see what the case is then.

 So while Evie does have some of her behaviors fixed by the end of the movie, her depiction throughout bothers me so much. She is the toxic member of the Rotten Four as far as I’m concerned and I don’t think all of it should be brushed off like it seems to be.

[bright-molina]

What Goes Around Comes Around (Part One)

Summary: The Isle of the Lost was miserable, that much was obvious. So when the opportunity came for you to go to Auradon you took it. Only you weren’t there for fun, you were there to finally get justice. After all they do say what goes around, comes around.

Characters: Mal, Evie, Jay, Carlos, fem!reader (daughter of Dr. Facilier), Uma (briefly), Harry (briefly), Gil (briefly), Ben (briefly)

Warnings: angst, mentions of abuse, swearing

Word Count: 3240

A/N: Okay so I’m actually really excited for this guys! This is sorta au-ish, mainly because of the whole dark!VK concept. Let me know what you guys think! Also as of right now there’s really no specific pairing so let me know if you guys have any ideas! 

Part Two (x)

There was always a lot of things wrong with your life. You had grown up on the Isle of the Lost, thrown to the side by these supposedly good people. Your father resented you growing up. You were nothing but a pawn to him, someone to carry on his voodoo magic. The funny thing was that it didn’t even work on the Isle. But still he forced you to learn it all, beating you when it wouldn’t go right as if it were all your fault.

When you were ten years old Jay found you curled up in an alley, your face and arms scattered with fresh cuts and bruises. He was in the same condition as you were. He helped you clean up with what little medical supplies you could steal from the shops. No child had it easy on the Isle of the Lost and the people on Auradon didn’t care one single bit. You resented them for it.

Eventually you made friends with other kids around the Isle. You got along well with Uma, daughter of Ursula. Neither of you ever showed many emotions other than anger and confidence. And yet there was a mutual understanding of those feelings you both pushed deep down better than anyone. The crew that ran with her soon became allies to you as well. Jay eventually introduced you to his other friends, Carlos, Evie, and Mal. You had heard things about the daughter of Maleficent in particular and needless to say you were a bit surprised.

There was never a moment after you met your friends where you felt alone. They were all you had on that dreaded island. And they made it bearable. It definitely wasn’t okay, but you could handle everything a little better than before. In return you made sure they knew that they could always confide in you, whether they simply wanted to vent or whether you helped to heal and patch them up after a particularly brutal night at home.

You received a letter one day, straight from the palace, signed by Prince Ben himself. They wanted you to attend Auradon Prep.

“None of us are going,” Mal tore up her letter first. “We’ve gotten along just fine without their fucking pity”

“Don’t you understand?” A wild look appeared in your eyes, one that showed them the thousands of thoughts running through your head at that very moment. “We have to. Haven’t you ever heard the saying you reap what you sow?” You sighed when you saw the confused looks on each of their faces. You stood up from your spot next to Jay and turned to face him, Mal, Evie, and Carlos. “We get to Auradon and from there we figure out how to make it ours. Give them a taste of their own medicine, all that good stuff”

Your need for vengeance spread quickly throughout the room. Jay was the first to stand at your side. “Come on, don’t you want to get them back for all that they’ve done to us? I mean it’s only fair”

“We take the king down?” Evie asked and you nodded your head confirming her thoughts. What you wanted was to show the people of Auradon what it was they had done, to show them what kind of person their king really was. To make them see that he was the real villain. Evie agreed next and the same crazed look appeared in her eyes when she realized all that you could accomplish in Auradon once King Adam had fallen. “We’ll save everyone here. All of our friends, all those innocent kids. Then the only souls on this island will be the ones who truly deserve it”

A look passed between Mal and Carlos and then they joined your sides.

“Let’s do it then,” Carlos took your hand and a soft smile appeared on his face. “I’m with you all the way” He said honestly. You smiled back and the five of you stood, hand in hand, ready to finally be gone from the Isle. “Let’s go dethrone a king”

“It’ll take a while,” You told Uma as you paced across the floor of the Chip Shop. “But we will get it done, I can promise you that”

“I can’t believe you’re going to Auradon,” Gil said as he looked at your letter. He couldn’t read the words on the page very well but he knew the seal of the king and what it looked like. “You’ll remember me right?” He asked you suddenly. Evidently he hadn’t been listening to you explain your plan. You smiled softly and nodded.

“How could I not?” You told him. He seemed satisfied by your answer and went back to looking at the letter, this time with Harry looking over his shoulder. You looked back towards Uma and sighed once more when you saw the look on her face. “If I could smuggle you over there with me I would in a heartbeat, you know that”

“I know,” Her voice was barely above a whisper. She didn’t say anything else, she simply stared off into the distance. Finally she looked at you and you watched her smirk. “Kick ass in Auradon, alright?”

“That I will definitely do” You laughed easily. Harry waltzed over to your side and you recognized the look on his face immediately.

“Now,” He smirked as he dragged the tip of his hook down the side of your face gently and you couldn’t resist rolling your eyes at his actions. “Let’s give ya a proper send off, yeah?” He waited for you to agree and when you did he pulled you in the direction of the Lost Revenge, Uma and Gil both close behind.

There was no way in hell that you would be turning Fairy Godmother’s wand over to Maleficent, that was agreed on instantly. But still, it called out to Mal like a beacon.

“It’s not going to work,” You said in a sing song voice as you flipped through your book. It was filled with all sorts of voodoo magic, the same kind you had been forced to learn. Only on Auradon it actually worked and you hadn’t hesitated to begin teaching yourself everything. “It’s too easy, my darlings”

You had started using the pet name mockingly your first day in Auradon. But now just a couple days later you found yourself calling Jay, Evie, Carlos, and Mal that more and more often. It was endearing now and none of them would ever admit how much they loved the sound of it rolling off your tongue when you spoke to them.

“And why is that?” Mal wondered as she looked in your direction. The four of them were headed off to the museum to try to take the wand. You, however, were laying on Carlos’ bed with your pajamas on already.

“Because,” You looked up from the book and at them. “There’s bound to be some sort of protective spells or alarms around it. And we,” You motioned back and forth between yourself and Mal. “Aren’t skilled enough yet to disable all of those. Therefore it’ll be useless to try”

“Well,” Mal picked up her own spell book and threw on her jacket. “If I’m wrong then you get bragging rights” She said simply. Your laugh rang through the room like a bell. It was a sound that made everyone feel better. It was just the effect you had on them. You had always been there for each of them and you still were even now. No matter what you would never leave them, a point you made sure to prove every chance you got.

“I’ll hold you to that” You said, picking up your book once more.

“Oh we know you will” Evie smiled and you watched as the four of them left the room.

“I told you so” You said the next morning with ease. The four of them walked up to where you were sitting.

“You were right” Mal mumbled as she leaned on one arm before flipping through her spell book.

“What’s your plan?” Jay asked you with a sigh. You smiled before pulling out a stack of old tarot cards. You had been practicing with them since you were ten years old. On the Isle you had used them thinking that they’d give you some sense of hope. They never worked, the readings were always off. But the first time you read your own cards the night you arrived in Auradon there was a different feeling as the shadows on your wall shifted around you. The shadows morphed and bent around you, as if they were kneeling in your presence.

“We have to play their game,” You told them as you split the deck of cards in two. “Let them believe that we’ve changed. Make them think that we’re just like them” They listened to you while also watching you shuffle the smaller deck exactly eight times. “It’ll take suspicion off of us, making everything easier. We’ll act when they least expect it. It’ll take time, yes, but I promise it’ll be worth it” You spread the small deck out in front of you and a cool breeze surrounded your group. They watched with amazement as the shadows shifted around the table, almost like they were protecting you. “We cannot under any circumstances fail”

“You want us to play nice with these people?” Carlos asked, visibly bothered by the idea. It wasn’t your first choice either but it was the one that made the most sense. It was the one you’d have to go with if you wanted your plan to succeed.

“Yeah,” You nodded. “I know it’s not ideal but if we act too soon then they’ll send us back. For good this time” You motioned toward the row of cards as you looked at Carlos. “Pick one”

He looked skeptical but chose one anyway. You regrouped the stack, taking the chosen card and flipping it so they could see the picture. It was a woman with a lion beside her. “Strength. It represents not only strength itself but also determination and power. It means that we each have the ability to control ourselves, to see this through to the very end”

You handed Evie the larger stack and told her to shuffle it eight times and then split it in three. She flipped over the first card, Jay the second, and Mal the last one. “This one,” You pointed at the one Evie had flipped over. “Seven of swords, it represents what’s going on in the physical world. It represents stealth and deception and getting away with something. In our case this is a good thing. This one,” You pointed at the card Jay had flipped over. “Ten of cups, but it’s reversed. It basically represents what we’re all thinking. In this case it means that we aren’t really being true to ourselves. We have to act like all of them, it’ll be tough but this one,” You pointed at the last one that Mal had flipped over. “Tells us that it’s going to be worth it. The ten of wands, it’s what they,” You motioned to the space around all of you, where the shadows were watching. “Have predicted for us. We’ll succeed in all of this. It may take a while but we can do it”

The four of them stayed silent for a couple seconds. You felt a hand grip yours under the table and looked up to see a smirk on Jay’s face. “I guess it pays to have ‘friends on the other side’ doesn’t it?” You laughed lightly and nodded.

“We’re in this together,” Evie took your other hand from across the table, a smile on her face. “All the way”

“Please let me curse them,” Mal said through gritted teeth. The five of you were trying to escape everything that had happened during Family Day. They had started yelling and one thing led to another and suddenly Chad was unconscious on the floor.

“Let them try something else,” You were just as angry. You could hear the mutters coming from the table behind you where Audrey, Chad, and their followers were sitting. You had expected more from some of them like Lonnie and Doug. But you supposed they were all like Audrey deep down. “I dare them”

Jay’s grip on your hand tightened and in one swift movement he was holding you against him. You took in a deep breath and relaxed almost instantly in his arms. There was only a couple other people who had that effect on you but they weren’t there at the moment. He waited until he knew you were calm before letting you go.

Ben walked over to your table once he found you guys. “Don’t worry about it” He kept on repeating those words over and over. As if he was trying to convince even himself that it wasn’t actually your fault.

It had been Mal’s idea to put Ben under a love spell. It had been working pretty well so far until Audrey decided to get bitter. You could understand why she was like that though if you were honest. But still, it didn’t exactly make what she said right.

It also didn’t help that Chad’s words kept running through your head. They were raised by their parents. But no. The five of you were nothing like your parents. You weren’t your father and you refused to ever stoop down to his level. What you and your friends were doing was way different than what your parents had once done. You were doing all of this to finally escape them and no one could change that.

“Tomorrow after the coronation I promise everything will be okay” Ben told you all. “Like I said, don’t-”

“Darling,” You cut him off with a shake of your head. “Please excuse us if we don’t believe you” Your voice cracked at the end and you could see the way his face fell. He moved to stand in front of you and took one of your hands in his.

“It’s going to get better for all of you,” He said as he looked directly at you. “I promise” It took you a few seconds to respond. You have no idea. You forced a smile onto your face and he seemed to take it as a good sign because he walked away soon after.

You were sitting with Evie, Carlos, and Jay in your room while glaring at the little lizard in a box.

After Jane had broken the barrier Maleficent had escaped making all of you look bad. You had redeemed yourselves though. Mal’s magic combined with yours was enough to take the wand from her. Though when Fairy Godmother awoke from the spell she believed it was because of ‘inner goodness’. You let her believe that. The only downside was that you’d have to get the wand a different way now.

“We have a problem!” Mal shouted as she burst into the room. She slammed the door closed behind her and you all picked up on the annoyed look in her eyes. “Ben is in love with me”

“Isn’t he supposed to be?” Jay asked, clearly confused. The rest of you wore the same questioning look he did. Mal groaned in annoyance before moving the clear container to the corner of the room.

“Not for real!” She huffed as she threw herself down on the bed, half on top of you. “Apparently the Enchanted Lake washed away the spell and he’s been pretending ever since and now he’s in love with me for real”

“This could work,” Evie looked away from her next dress with a smirk on her face. “You could be our connection on the inside”

“Do I have to?” Mal groaned in protest. She hated the idea of having to be as close to a princess as she would ever get. She already hated it and she had only been doing it for two weeks.

“Yes” The four of you said in sync soliciting more arguing from Mal. Evie pulled Jay up from where he was sitting and handed him the clothes he was supposed to change into.

“Fine,” Mal reached for her spell book and began flipping through it. “These are definitely going to come in handy”

Evie walked over to the two of you and snatched both your spell books away, ignoring your protests. “Go get dressed,” She told the two of you. “We have a coronation party to get to”

“How much longer am I going to have to do this?” Mal huffed as she walked into Jay and Carlos’ room. “I’m getting tired of all these stupid appearances and modifying people’s memories”

“Not long,” You mumbled as you flipped through your book once more. The five of you had been in Auradon for months now. You hadn’t dared to make a move after the whole incident with Mal’s mother happened. Now you were just trying to figure out the best way to take the wand.

“You’ve been saying that for six months” Jay argued from where he was fighting people on the screen of the TV. “All we’ve done is play their little games. When are we making our move?”

You glared and slammed the book shut catching everyone’s attention. “Do you want this to work or do you want to end up back on the Isle for good this time?” Jay stayed silent, knowing you were right.

You untangled yourself from the mess of limbs you, Carlos, and Evie were in. You opened a different notebook and handed it to Carlos first. “You’ll be happy to know that I have a plan” You watched as his eyes scanned the pages of the notebook before handing it over to Mal. Once they had all seen it you spoke again. “The only thing is that for it to work we’ll have to go back. Just for a day or two though”

“What?” Carlos reacted first. “We left for a reason and you expect us to just go back?”

“Let me explain,” You took back your notebook and with a wave of your hand the words disappeared from the pages. “We can’t do this by ourselves. We’ll need help if we’re going to have any chance of succeeding”

“Who did you have in mind exactly?” Evie asked for everyone. You stayed silent and Mal was the first one to pick up on who it was you were talking about. She immediately shook her head.

“No! Absolutely not!” She shook her head. “There is no way I’m asking them for help!”

“I never said you had to,” You reasoned with her. “If you recall I had a certain connection to them” A smirk grew on your face as each of them rolled their eyes.

“Some connection,” Jay mumbled. “How exactly do you plan on getting there?”

A wicked smile appeared on your face and the shadows shifted around the room again. You had practically mastered controlling the shadows and it wasn’t uncommon to see them following you around. When the five of you were together they stood around you all, as if they were your personal guardians. It had become almost comforting.

“That, my darling,” You sent him a quick wink and you laughed when he rolled his eyes at you. “Is where things get interesting”

[indiikaa]

Meeks CinemaSins’ Wreck-it Ralph

This is what I did last weekend when I slowly went insane. It’s under the cut, btw...

Because my ISP has decided to fuck up our service for the past four days, I have been stuck watching BLU-Rays. Unfortunately, I don’t have that many BLU-rays to watch, so I’ve been mostly watching one of my favourite movies over and over again. Which movie? Wreck-It Ralph.

Now, when this happened before, I did this hilarious Watch Through where I wrote down EVERYTHING I thought was weird, funny, or just wanted to point out in The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug. Kind of like Cinema Sins but with more humor/ insight. I decided to do it again with Wreck-it Ralph because I mean, come on.

 START

 v  When you pause, Chris Hardwick talks to you.

v  Why did Ralph never make a house in the dump like he does at the end of the movie beforehand? Sleeping on Bricks has to hurt.

v  In the intro, Felix doesn’t actually fully fix the building, there are still broken windows near Ralph.

v  Is the bulldozer sentient by itself or if there someone inside it?

v  Where does the bulldozer live?

v  You can see a lake and a nice forest behind the Niceland apartment, with a nice walk around it; why doesn’t Ralph live near there? He can move his stump there!

v  Despite what everyone says; Zombie is definitely from Night of the Living Dead, a real arcade game about Zombies with Hatchets. I swear.

v  Bowsers hair looks very... not Bowser.

v  Kano put that heart away that’s gross.

v  Why is Clyde the only Pac-man ghost we see at Bad-Anon? Are the others at Tappers? We see them in Game Central Station, so they must have gone somewhere.

v  Does Eggman wear a rubber jacket? Cause... wtf Eggman.

v  M. Bison should bring snacks.

v  Zangief is a good friend, he even saved Ralph a spot on the tram!

v  That Turtle looks like he’s enjoying his book...

v  Beware of roaming packs of Space Marines.

v  Why was Q*Bert unplugged? They never tell us why!

v  I get that DJ Hero was a thing and all, but... WHY?

v  So Pac-Man, Sonic, Skrillex, Some sun dude, A turtle named Glen from Frogger, A bartending Clown, Mario, some gram crackers, all the Nicelanders and Felix were invited to the party, but no one invited Ralph? They wouldn’t have a GAME without Ralph!

v  Why don’t Ralph and Felix move like the Nicelanders?

v  Gene is such a pompous asshole. Like, there’s absolutely no reason for it.

v  You mean to tell me in 30 years, no one’s even taken the time to get to know Ralph? Ralph is better off without the Nicelanders.

v  Gene, that was totally unnecessary.

v  I agree Felix, let’s just eat the cake.

v  Gene just makes the situation worse. Ralph should wreck him. Not that way.

v  Why are all the splatters pink? Shouldn’t they be multi-coloured?

v  I see a Space Invader!

v  Tapper has to be busy every night. Like, so many games, One bar game...

v  How did the Metal Gear Solid exclamation mark get into the lost and found? Metal Gear doesn’t have an arcade version...

v  Markowski’s callsign is “Hold Em!”. No seriously, his shoulder pad says his callsign.

v  Or it could be Ace, because all the cards are Aces.

v  You can see the port that Q*Bert would have been plugged into.

v  There is absolutely no way that Fix-if Felix JR. and Hero’s Duty would be plugged into the same power block. Not unless you want a shit ton of cables that cause a tripping hazard.

v  Why does Calhoun not wear the same uniform as everyone else?

v  Literally she’s more vulnerable because she has less protection.

v  Unless it’s coded that she can’t get hit by a Cybug.

v  The girl literally screams, but then seems not to care the next second. Wtf is with that?

v  Okay so I have a few beefs about Sugar Rush, but the main one this early in the movie is this:

As we learn later, the roster changes every day. This gives us a total of 9 racers per day, as it’s a

3x3 column. Remember this.

 v  The Nicelanders are all worried, it’s their fault that their game is Out Of Order.

v  They’re all surprised that Ralph Gamejumps. I would too if I was treated like dirt.

v  It took Ralph ALL DAY to climb the tower? It takes him maybe 3 seconds to climb to the top of the Niceland Tower. Nope, not buying it.

v  If Hero’s Duty is only the landing strip and the tower, with the drop off vehicle at the end of the landing strip, where do all the AI live?

v  What triggers all the eggs to hatch when the game starts?

v  Why are there stairs when the First Person Shooter AI-Bot thing has wheels? It won’t be able to make it up the stairs, unless they turn into a ramp.

v  Baby Cybugs are adorable.

v  Okay, Ralph just activated so many baby Cybugs. Why did they not hatch?

v  Sonic, you weren’t even hit by that, why did you lose your rings?

v  To think about it, why are there even escape pods at the top of Hero’s Duty? Is it so when it’s Game Over and they made it to the top of the tower, that the AI can escape?

v  Why does Sugar Rush have its name written in mint sticks?

v  Pocky Pussywillows. Yummy.

v  Who gave Sarah Silverman a microphone?

v  Why do Double Stripes break? There is no reason for anyone to know this except for Ralph’s inconvenience.

v  No, seriously, I’m hung up on this tree thing. Why in a game about racing is there a rule about not touching double-stripe tree branches? Unless it’s a part of a race track where you race through the trees or something and the track gives way under you if you go across a double stripe area...

v  When Ralph is hanging from the Double Stripe branch, why does it take so long to disappear?! The others were instant!

v  Okay so why are Hero’s Duty, Sugar Rush and Fix-it Felix JR. all plugged not the same extension? That’s impossible, since they’re all across from each other in separate sides of two isles.

v  Some of the Graffiti is hilarious, but I don’t think Arcade Games would know who Leroy Jenkins is. Or Aerith for that matter.

v  How can Burger Time be Now Playing, if the arcade is closed?

v  Where the hell does Calhoun hide that giant gun? Know what? Never mind, I don’t want to know.

v  Those FIFA guys keep walking around in the background in the same loop cycle.

v  14 of the Sugar Rush racers show up. If you look closely, most of the background ones are wearing the same thing – Parkas, Bows or hats with pig tails. Are they just bad re-skins of the same character, or all different characters?

v  Wouldn’t that get confusing to the gamers though? It’s the same character design but just a different colour.

v  The 9 racers of the day were: Rancis Taffyta, Blue Pigtails, Candlehead, King Candy, Pumpkinhead, Blue Parka, Snowcone hair and Green Bow. I’m going to guess that you can’t have more of the same “character” on the roster because that would confuse players, or would it?

v  Unless their all related.

v  What would players who have played Sugar Rush in other arcades think if they saw King Candy, if you know his story? Would they be like “Who the hell is King Candy? Where’s Princess Von Schweetz?”

v  What if you’ve never won a race? Are you just not allowed to race?

v  All the Racers names:

Taffyta Muttonfudge, Crumbelina Di Caramello, Gloyd Orangeboar, Adorabeezle Winterpop, Citrusella Flugpucker, Nougetsia Brumblestain, Sticky Wipplesnit, Minty Zaki, Snowanna Rainbeau, Rancis Fluggerbutter, Jubileena Bing-Bing, Swizzle Malarkey, Candlehead, Vanellope Von Schweetz and King Candy.

 v  Looking at the names, none of the racers could be related in any way, so why are half of them just reskins of the other half?!

v  Who names their kid Rancis?! No seriously, check the scoreboard, it says his name is Rancis, not Francis.

v  If Vanellope is really a glitch, why would her picture appear next to her name? Wouldn’t it be a placeholder icon? Or wouldn’t her name be all glitch?

v  Someone didn’t lock up the narrators memories.

v  Why is there a random cupcake standing on a pedestal like that? It makes no sense.

v  Police Brutality.

v  Taffyta, his name is RANCIS, not Francis. Get it right.

v  How does King Candy know who Ralph even is? Vanellope didn’t know who he was, but if it isn’t obvious that there’s something up with him...

v  More Police brutality.

v  Ha ha, Disney bought Star Wars just to use Darth Vader’s breathing noises.

v  Okay, so if Vanellope is at the Junkyard “fixing” her cart, why doesn’t she make one out of the thrown-out carts instead? There’s wheels, full carts with no engines; so all she’d need is an engine to go.

v  Only 10 of the racers show up, so one of each duplicate racer can come gang up on Vanellope’s car.

v  Wtf is Snowanna’s car even supposed to be? (Snowconehead)

v  At least Vanellope gets Rancis’s name right.

v  Why are they so offended with her car?

v  Who died and made Taffyta Queen of the Racetrack? Oh right.

v  Why is there a broken stoplight? Who killed the stoplight?!

v  That Jawbreaker split really cleanly...

v  Felix, seriously? You are so dense that you can’t see that something is wrong?

v  Turbo Time was next to Fix-it Felix JR..

v  How does Turbo hitting the car a cause for a glitch-out? It makes no sense.

v  And even so, when we learn what happens to Turbo, how did he game-jump for so long without anyone knowing?

v  How does Felix know what Laffy Taffy is?

v  Why is he Fix-it Felix JR. when his uniform just says Felix?

v  Why does his hammer work outside the game?

v  He totally can’t hold her, he’s not even half her size.

v  How DID the Cybug survive the Candy Swamp anyway?

v  How does one enter the Make Your Kart mini-game?

v  Does Sugar Rush have a Make Your Own Racer area too? That would be better than the 4000 different reskinned characters.

v  There is NO WAY that Kart would come out looking like that, from THAT mess. Nope, not happening.

v  Is it like in real racing arcades where you can create a profile, put in your secret code and keep playing from last time?

v  Why is there a Nutrition Facts label in the Security Office?

v  Get it? Their Bear Claws. That’s why they’re C.L.A.W.

v  Hidden Mickey!

v  There is no way that Ralph and Vanellope are faster than King Candy and the cops.

v  Wouldn’t King Candy know about the hidden passage?

v  How does Vanellope know the lollipops are sugar-free?

v  Mentos agreed to this.

v  Wouldn’t broiling hot diet coke smell really bad? It sure tastes bad.

v  Where do the other kids live in Sugar Rush? The trailer park or? We don’t see a village or houses or anything...

v  How many different tracks are there in Sugar Rush anyway? We see at least three – the unfinished bonus level, the one the kids race on, and the one at the end of the movie.

v  Why did Vanellope look around her dashboard for the start button? She literally has only ONE button on her dash! The rest are lights!

v  Why would Racing be the only thing that Vanellope still has in her code? Wouldn’t King Candy have taken that out too?

v  Why is the Contra code something in an Arcade?

v  I don’t think Sugar Rush was made by Nintendo.

v  I don’t think it was even on the NES, not with those graphics.

v  Why is King Candy’s profile so much bigger than everyone elses? Is it because racers think he’s a super rare character or something?

v  Technically, wouldn’t he glitch out because, he’s not from Sugar Rush?

v  Great example of PTSD.

v  Why does Felix refer to Ralph as his friend? He hasn’t done anything to warrant calling Ralph a friend!

v  When did Vanellope have the time to make Ralph the cookie medal?

v  Why did King Candy return to where he last saw Ralph and Vanellope anyway?

v  If King Candy took the medal out of the pot, wouldn’t the game glitch and Vanellope be unable to race? Technically she bought her way in with the game thinking the medal was a coin, so why not?

v  According to King Candy, Sugar Rush is next to Dig Dug.

v  King Candy knows a lot about what happens when a game is unplugged. Was that the fate the twins had when Turbo Time was unplugged or? Did Turbo just sadistically watch his game get unplugged and watch the twins glitch out trying to get out?

v  How can Ralph hold onto Vanellope when she glitches?

v  Vanellope is seen glitching off the tree, why doesn’t she just glitch off before Ralph breaks the kart?

v  Wouldn’t Ralph have seen the other Nicelanders in Game Central Station when he was heading back to Fix-it Felix JR.?

v  Why did Gene stay behind? To shove it in Ralph’s face?

v  Gene, he seriously wanted friends and you’re just being an asshat. Good riddance.

v  When Ralph looks to Sugar Rush (Which brings back the question: HOW ARE THEY PLUGGED IN THR SAME POWER BLOCK?!), we see Vanellope in a racing-style outfit. Why don’t we ever see her in this outfit?

v  We also see her driving her actual kart, wouldn’t that tip Ralph off that King Candy isn’t driving the right kart, since he drives Vanellope’s original kart, with added horns and flags?

v  How was King Candy able to lock up memories?

v  How does Sour Bill know how to fix Vanellope’s code? Wouldn’t he have forgotten, or King Candy forced him to forget?

v  Oh hey, I forgot Calhoun was in this still.

v  Calhoun’s GPS sets off the Cybug’s eggs, so why did Ralph touching them with his foot earlier only set off one and not the whole gang?

v  Felix, you hit the broken bar with your hammer. Bar repaired and strengthened itself. You didn’t touch it; you hit it with a hammer.

v  Try using your fists next time.

v  It took 30 years, almost drowning in chocolate milk mix, and being imprisoned for Felix to finally realize what Ralph goes through every day.

v  That “Bad Girl” sign was awfully specific.

v  “Glitch Proof” but what if it’s not actually a glitch?

v  Wow, it took them like 4 hours to clean up the starting track.

v  Hah, she burned out at the start line.

v  Why is there, excluding King Candy, only one male racer?

v  They stole item blocks from Mario Kart. Quick Nintendo, sue them!

v  Who let Candlehead put fire on her kart?!

v  Cybugs are Asexual reproducers.

v  Who is the stupid racer who is only like 10 feet from the start line? Like, really?!

v  How did King Candy know about the secret road?

v  How could no one figure out King Candy was Turbo? Like, wouldn’t he have been missing for a while and wouldn’t people wonder what happened to him after he game jumped?

v  As many have theorized before: Vanellope’s glitch isn’t actually a glitch, it’s an ability, since she can use it at will even at the end of the movie.

v  Why did the sky suddenly go dark? Having Cybugs appear wouldn’t magically change the skyline, unless they ate the code for day.

v  Why would Turbo’s Cybug body looks totally different than any other Cybug? Is it because he’s a “virus” or a Glitch in the game?

v  That was incredibly selfish of you, Ralph.

v  Fucking Bad Guy Affirmation. Tissue time.

v  Okay, I get this is a super emotional scene and I admit to crying in the theater when I saw it, but who’s car did Vanellope steal? Why didn’t she glitch hers out of the crash and go after Ralph with her own?

v  I get the cola is broiling hot but that wouldn’t destroy the Cybugs, would it? In Hero’s Duty, the Beacon is like a bug zapper. This is just hot cola.

v  Why are Ralph and Vanellope drenched? Before, the chocolate didn’t work like that.

v  Why does Vanellope’s code have her hair like she’s had it during the  movie (in a pony tail), and on the side of the box (still in a pony tail), but when she’s Princess Vanellope, her hair is in a bun?

v  I love you, Calhoun.

v  Would racers at Litwak’s Arcade think Vanellope is a super secret unlocked racer or something, because she would have never been seen before?

v  She can still glitch, so there has to be a reason for that in that it’s her special power.

v  So, why are the Nicelanders nice to Ralph at the end of the movie? Did Felix talk to them or something? Why? It makes no sense!

v  Zombie smiling is weird.

v  Wouldn’t the Q*bert guys glitch out or something in Fix-it Felix JR.?

v  Isn’t it taboo to wear the same wedding dress?

v  Wait, why would the racers get coins? At the end, Vanellope gets a trophy. Where do the coins come from?

v  Was it the surge protector responsible for all that graffiti?

v  Doom/Wolfeinstein-Style Hero’s Duty. Okay.

v  Ralph is overkill in destroying the car come on man.

v  Felix looks weird in 64-bit.

v  Look at all the Medals they left behind! There’s no way that between the four of them, they didn’t get all the medals.

v  Overall, Wreck-it Ralph took place over the span of approximately two days. (“I’ll get someone to look at it tomorrow, but if he can’t fix it, it may be time to put ol’ Ralph and Felix out to pasture, like my Nana!” – Mr. Litwak). One of those days, Calhoun is in Sugar Rush trying to find Ralph with Felix; who did she leave someone in charge of Hero’s Duty – Like Cohut? – or?

v  See Timeline of Events to understand that one.

v  Q*bert!

[suckitsurveys]

Pretty sure this is like 7 surveys in one yikes.

On Saturdays, I like to… Attempt to sleep in, hang out with mark, order take out.

Where would you like to be a missionary to? I would not.

What’s better — toilet paper rolled over top or underneath? There’s literally no difference.

Which Scooby-Doo character are you most like (Scooby, Shaggy, Daphne, Fred, Velma, the monster, Scrappy?) Velma.

If you had to endure one natural disaster (i.e. hurricane, tornado, etc), what would you pick and why? Nah, I’m good. Chicago is pretty good about not having natural disasters so lets keep it that way. The worst we get is trees being knocked over and like 100 ft of snow.

What movie or TV show do you take guilty pleasure in watching? Teen Mom 2.

If you had to describe your day as a traffic sign, what would it be? Yield.

What traditional stereotype would you classify yourself as? I don’t know.

What “group” did you belong to in high school? I didn’t really.

If you wrote a book about yourself…what would it be about? ...About myself, obviously.

If your house were burning down, what would you take and why? I seriously dislike this question.

Describe your favorite pair of PJ’s. I just got fair isle pikachu pj pants that I am in love withhhhh.

How many handbags do you own? A handful. BUH DUM TISS.

If this were your last day alive, what would you say to your friends? I have no idea.

What is your very favorite part of your day? Sleeping.

What is your best scar? Tell the story of how you got it. I have very few scars and all of the stories are really mundane. The most interesting one is the teeny tiny one I got from stabbing myself while making cheeseburgers one time.

You win a million dollars, but you have to give half to a charity. Which charity do you pick, and what do you do with the rest of the money? The childhood cancer research charity of my friend Rebecca’s choice. She lost her 3 year old son to cancer in 2014, and childhood cancer is the least funded research out there. Then I‘d use the rest of it to buy myself a nice car and a place to live.

Describe your dream wedding where money is no option. There’s still a little part of me that wants a big wedding but it just seems like such a waste. The day should be about you and your partner and it seems so crazy to go through all that trouble and money to impress other people. Because that’s honestly what it is.

What kind of deodorant do you use? Secret.

Do you have a birth mark? Where? Does it look like anything? Nah.

You are planning the most awesome dinner party of your life. Which 3 celebrities/historical figures (past or present) would you add to your guest list to keep the dinner talk interesting? Aubrey Plaza, Tina Fey, and Matthew Perry. The sarcasm would be REAL.

What is your favorite sport, and which team of that sport do you cheer for? Baseball. The 2016 World Series Champion Chicago Cubs.

Which would you rather have a kiss or a hug? Why? Both are nice. Hugs are more comforting though.

If you could be a pair of jeans what style would you be?  Why? Skinny. Because then I‘d be skinny.

You have multiple personalities, describe some of them. Uh, no. Multiple personality disorder is a real thing and not just some funny survey question to list off your different “sides” or whatever.

What is the best thing you have done in your life? Witnessed my niece being born.

If you were blind for the rest of your life… what would you miss seeing the most? Jesus, everything.

What household chore do you hate the most? All of them.

What is your most disappointing moment in life? Just one?

When have you laughed the hardest? Cried? Dude, I don’t know.

If you had a “theme song” that played whenever you walk into a room full of people, what would it be? "IM BOSSY, I’M THE BITCH THAT YOU LOVE TO HATE”

What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Nothing.

What time period from the past would you most have liked to live in and why? This one’s fine. There are lots that I would love to visit, but I’d never want to throw away our current level of progress permanently. <---Yup, I like this answer.

What is the best reward anyone can give you? Money is nice.

If you had a band what would you name it? Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants.

Do you like fruit? Vegetables? Yes.

What can someone do to encourage you? I don’t know. Pay me? Hahahahaha I need money.

If you could be one for just 24 hours, what cereal box cartoon character would you be? Why? Toucan Sam so I could fly around places and snack on Froot Loops all day. <---another good answer stolen from Kayla.

What was the best thing that happened to you this weekend? Last weekend we rang in the new year in Michigan.

What is your favorite animal? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Pandas. Cute, big, black and white.  

What is your favorite color? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Purple. Deep, appealing, pretty.

It’s a very hot and muggy day. You desperately want something very cool and refreshing to quench your thirst and revitalize your body. What would you drink — either make your own or store-bought. Water.

You discover that the person you’re head-over-heels interested in loves a good homemade & handmade dessert. What will you concoct when you have this person over? He actually doesn’t like sweet stuff, so I’d make him sushi instead.

What would you leave in your will for the person you care about the most? I don’t really have much to leave right now.

What do you consider to the most valuable thing you own: when you were a child/teenager/now? My laptop maybe? Or maybe my engagement ring?

What’s the kindest act you have ever seen done? I don’t know.

If you could have any job in the world, which one would you want? Professional sushi-taster.

What are your best/worst subjects in school and what subjects would you want to learn now? Blah.

What are you most talented at? Organizing, kind of. Also being a cool aunt.

What is your worst nightmare today? My grandmother is living in my house now.

How often do you clean between your toes? Whenever I shower, so a few times a week.

What is your favorite way to waste time at work without getting caught? Surveys, haha. I do a majority of these at work.

If you could have had the starring role in one film already made, which movie would you pick? Eh.

If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do? No thanks.

If you could eliminate one thing you do each day in the bathroom so that you never had to do it again, what would it be? Brush my teeth I guess. They’d just magically be clean.

You were just given a yacht. What would you name it? The Ramona.

If you could have been told one thing that you weren’t told when you were a teenager, what would you like to have heard? Eat better.

You’ve just been hired to a promotions position at Kellog Co. What would you put in a new breakfast cereal box as a gimmick? Pokemon figures, just because I’d want them for myself.

Just like “Everybody Wang Chung tonight!”, what action would your name be if it were a verb? Having horrible balance. Not really a verb, but a pretty broad use of the term haha.

Name your favorite song. Hold On by Tom Waits.

If you were to get a tattoo, what would it say or what would the graphic be? I’ve been kinda wanting a small W for the Cubbies. And I kind of want my Pikachu covered and then a different style done somewhere else.

If you could play any musical instrument, what would it be and why? If you already play an instrument(s), what do you play and why? Guitar I guess.

When trick-or-treating as a kid, was there any kind of candy that you didn’t like to get? 3 Musketeers.

Why do you live in the Washington DC area? I don’t?

What is your favorite memory of Christmases past? My niece’s first Christmas.

What is the most outrageous thing you’ve done for God? Not believing in him. Hah.

If a movie was being made of your life and you could choose the actor/actress to play you, who would you choose and why? Aubrey Plaza mainly so I could just meet her haha.

Paper or plastic? Plastic because those seem to be the ones with handles on them. Chicago banned basic plastic bags and now we have reusable ones but if you don’t bring them back to the store, they give you paper ones which don’t have handles.

What was the weirdest food you’ve ever eaten? I’ve had ostrich and alligator before.

What do you keep in the trunk of your car? I have some basic maintenance things in there. Not sure if I still do, but I had a snow shovel for digging myself out of parking spots.

When you were in grade school, what did you want to be when you grew up? Why? I think a vet.

If you owned a CB radio what would your “handle” be? I don’t know what that is.

If you were given 24 hrs to live, what would you do? I would wait until I had like 3 hours left, eat a SHIT TON of sushi and lobster and crab and then die right before the bill came.

If you were in the “Miss America” talent competition, what would your talent be? (Note: both guys & gals have to answer this question) Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah no.

What do you think the most ultimate gift of the world is? Gift of the world? You mean in the world?

What is your earliest childhood memory? I have little memories of the apartment we lived in until I was 4. I was just talking about this with Ellen the other day. My most vivid one was from when I was about 4 and my parents had put a hook lock at the top of the outside of my sister’s door to keep me out when she wasn’t in there. I figured out how to climb on a chair, reach it, and lock my sister in her room one day.

What was your favorite TV show when you were growing up? Tiny Toons, Pokemon, and Garfield and Friends.

If you had one extra hour of free time a day, how would you use it? Probably doing nothing, hah.

What CD is in your CD player right now? I don’t own anything that plays CDs. Or CDs anymore for that matter.

The great theologian Andy Warhol stated that everyone gets 15 minutes of fame.  What happened during your 15 minutes? I was on Radio Disney once.

Name the most famous person you’ve had a face to face encounter with. I guess Dane Cook would be the most recognizable name. I saw him live when I was a young dumb kid and thought he was hilarious (ew) and he came out after the show and was trying to get to the table where he was signing things and my friend and I were in his way and he taps us on the shoulder and goes “excuse me ladies.” 

Name your favorite children’s story. The Witch‘s Christmas. And the Ramona Quimby books.

If you could spend 15 minutes with any living person, who would it be and why? Rowan Blanchard because she’s so amazingggggg. 

What person in the Bible do you most closely identify with? There’s someone named Hannah in the bible so I guess her? Or maybe Satan? He’s mentioned a few times, right?

What article of clothing most closely describes your personality? I have no idea.

If you were to write a book what would it be about? Nothing.

How many rings before you answer the phone? My phone doesn’t “ring” in intervals, it plays The Office theme song.

What is the first thing you think of when you wake in the morning? I don’t know, it varies.

If you won a million dollars, what would you do with it? I would save some and then buy myself a nice place to live and a car.

If you had to, what part of your body would you get pierced? I’m good with piercings.

Who was your favorite teacher and why? My Kindergarten teacher Mrs. Furuta. She taught us oragami and other fun art projects. She would also stage these “trips” to different countries where we’d pretend to fly on a plane and “land” and there’d be a whole like little “market” set up with crafts and food from that country. It was so cool. She taught my sister and her best friend too. We ran into her at said best friend’s son’s funeral and she has been keeping in touch with us ever since. She’s very very sweet.

What makes you feel the most secure? Mark.

Who do you admire the most? My friends.

Have you ever had a reoccurring dream? What was it? Yeah, I used to have a reoccurring dream about alligators.

What was your nickname growing up? Nothing really stuck but my mom would sometimes call me Fanny or Pooka 2 (My sister was the original Pooka haha)

Who was your hero when you were a child, and what did you do to be like them? My dad.

Peanut or plain? M&Ms? Peanut.

What is your favorite cartoon character & why? Brendon Small because he’s the best.

How did you learn to ride a bicycle? With my legs?

Based on something you’ve already done, how might you make it into the Guinness Book of World Records? Most croutons in a single salad.

What’s the closest you’ve come to becoming a pop star/winning an Oscar? Haha, wow, I’ve never been even remotely close.

When was the last time you did something for the first time? What was it? I took my niece to the movies alone for the first time the other day if that counts.

What is your concept of a fruitful day? Pffft.

What was your favorite thing to play with as a child? Why? Barbies. I liked making them into families and making up stories for them.

If you could be any animal in the world for 24 hours, which animal would you be? Why? Maybe a sea otter? Something aquatic that isn’t terrifying. I think it’d be kinda fun to just swim around all day. <---DUDE Kayla and I are the same person, except I’d probably just be a straight up fish.

Have you ever jumped out of a plane? Nope.

If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be? My brother in law.

What is your best personal characteristic? I’m pretty good at planning stuff.

What is your favorite quote? “Love her, but leave her wild.”

If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? Freak the fuck out of my brother in law.

What is your favorite weird food combination? Hmmm. I can’t think of anything honestly. I like a lot of “weird” food but not really weird combos?

If you had to be a flower, which one would you like to be and why? Gardenias so I could smell amazing all the time.

If you were stranded on a desert island, what three books and three people would you take with you? I’d take a book on how to make a boat out of sticks and shit.

My biggest pet peeve is… People who clear their throats every five seconds. <--- I AM LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT MY BROTHER IN LAW DOES @tapiooocasurveys you would HATE him so much holy shit.

What is your favorite commercial? What commercial annoys you the most? The most annoying one right now is the freaking Candy Crush one. I can’t think of a commercial I would call my favorite. I’ve always enjoyed the Geico ones. They are usually pretty cute and clever.

What’s the most interesting “Ice Breaker” Question you have ever been asked? Oh man, I don’t know.

If you could be an ice cream flavor, what would it be? Why? I don’t know. Vanilla because I’m white and boring.

Name a turning point in your life that makes you smile/cry. The day my niece was born.

If there were a holiday in your honor what would it celebrate? Me, of course.

What clubs were you a member of in High School? Are you still interested in any of the same things? I was in drama for a bit and yearbook.

If you were to be on a reality TV show which one would you be on and why? I’d be on a game show and I’d be on Chain Reaction because I am SO GOOD at that game. OR Idiotest because I’m pretty good at that too.

If you could be anything in the world, what would you be and why? Thinner.

If someone rented a billboard for you, what would you put on it? Um.

If you had to enter a competition for the “Most Uselessly Unique Talent,” what would your talent be? Ability to become super annoyed at survey question in 0.2 seconds.

If you were a Smurf, what would your name be? I’d imagine it would be like Hannah Smurf or something?

What is your worst personality characteristic? I get very distracted and then overwhelmed easily.

If you had to be a teacher of something, what would you teach? No.

How would you like to be remembered? Positively.

What is one thing that you constantly think about (other than material things)? My future with Mark. :)

What do you like best about your hometown? Idk, tall buildings n shit.

Something interesting you might not know about me is… I’m done with this survey!

[idle-flower]

Dear Yuletide Author - 2019

Thank you for your time and attention, and I hope your wishes are granted this holiday!

Likes:

I prefer plot and angst and adventure to fluff, though a nice warm fluffy scene can make a good dessert at the end of the pain and suffering. I lean more to f/f and m/f than m/m. I enjoy forbidden relationships. I love exploring the 'what if' spinoffs of a small change in a canon. I swoon for lovers who take dramatic risks to protect their loved ones.

I also enjoy detailed description of clothing/furniture/jewelry/pretty things in general. Not just heaping up brand names, but sensory detail.

Dislikes:

Please avoid sweeping tropey AUs like 'what if noir' or 'what if everyone was in high school'. I'm REALLY picky about comedy so it's probably not a good idea to go for wacky funny stuff. No excited rambling about pregnancy or babies. (Older kids are okay.) While I am okay with pretty dark stuff, please don't gorily torture characters to death on screen. If people gotta die, limit the details! I am generally not keen on crossovers. I dislike PWP unless it is exceedingly hot smut (see below).

Smut:

I don't require it, but I do read a good bit of filthy porn.

Kinks I find interesting: mild bdsm, pain mixed with pleasure, dubcon, sibling or cousin incest, strap-ons, futanari and other magical appendages, teasing, teenagers, drugs/magic with interesting effects, people making terrible decisions due to being emotionally overwrought or really really horny

DO NOT WANT: 

rape or painful sex that one party is not enjoying at all, inserting anything edible (licking off boobs is okay), aggressive face-fucking, choking, degradation, scat/watersports, bukkake, parental incest, anyone younger than teen, emphasis on 'virgin blood' (some writers make it a huge deal with tearing pain and fountains of blood, please don't).

---

Poison Ivy (1992 film)

Sylvie Cooper, Ivy

I was struggling through the confusions of puberty, Ivy was hot, this film left an impression on me. In a way it's perfect as it is, and trying to build any sort of happy ending for Ivy feels out of place, but on the other hand there's a lot of loose ends left after the story.

Throughout the film, there's a lot the audience never knows about Ivy, including her legal name. Did Coop know it? (Maybe, probably.) Did her father? (Quite possibly not). How do they handle all the legal responsibilities of her death? Were Ivy's stories about the aunt she was staying with true? How do they break the news?  How does her funeral go?  

What do Sylvie and her father have to say to each other about Ivy after the truth comes out? Does he admit everything that he did? How does he handle the guilt? How do they rebuild their relationship?

What is school like, afterwards? What rumors escape? How does Coop handle them?

Or - what if Ivy survives the fall? Seriously injured, possibly paralysed, but alive? How do they deal with her, once the truth comes out? Do they cover up her crimes? Do they keep her in their home? What happens to their relationships?

For AUs, what would have happened if Ivy had met Coop when they were several years younger, so she couldn't get her hooks into Darryl as easily? What if they met at summer camp and Ivy was just as messed-up and needy but the situations were different? What if the movie plot is actually a fantasy younger-Ivy spins about her future to her fascinated-and-appalled friend, who then has a chance to react to it?

Bittersweet endings are good here but I don’t mind it going all dark if you feel like it. Too happy would just feel wrong.

Smutwise, I'm fine with Sylvie/Ivy, I'm okay with Darryl/Ivy but I would rather he not be the focus of the story (Sylvie catching them having sex has possibilities, or Ivy thinking about Sylvie while seducing Darryl)

---

Xanth - Piers Anthony

Jenny Elf, Gwendolyn Goblin

I have an ulterior motive, I badly want to insert some gayness into Xanth after the author has tried so hard to make it impossible, even allegedly threatening magical straightjackets to cure homosexuality. And it is difficult to think of a good f/f pairing because female characters in Xanth are almost completely obsessed with flashing their panties and attracting men. Almost the only good female friendship actually on-page (as opposed to a vague comment that Ivy and Nada used to hang out) is Jenny/Gwenny, who are best friends.

The events of The Color Of Her Panties even provide some possible groundwork to build on. They've been raised together in the care of centaurs who have different views on morality/sexuality than humans do. They're forced to think about sex and be inducted into the Adult Conspiracy together. Gwenny's new contacts mean that she starts seeing other people's sexual fantasies (and Jenny does too, for a while). They're bound to have some good girly gossip on the subject at some point, talking about what all these weirdoes are into and trying to figure out what the appeal is! Or some simple "ugh boys are gross, especially goblin boys" that leads to pushing them closer together. (Well, Che is quite different from the goblin boys, and I'm not totally opposed to including him, but my ulterior motive makes me more interested in Jenny/Gwenny as a couple than all of them as an OT3.)

I basically stopped reading the series at that point so please don't refer to plot developments and characters that came later in the series. I know that both girls are married off to men eventually in canon. Don't care.

Straightforward romance: Gwenny relies on Jenny to cheer her up and help her relax from her duties. Romance blossoms! Simple.

Silly fluff: Gwenny and Jenny visit the Pantry, try on tons of lingerie together, have a ridiculous slumber party and pillow fight, end up snogging... maybe they even accidentally found Dolph and Electra's honeymoon chamber.

For a slightly more dramatic plot, Gwenny's bound to feel like she has to marry and have a child because goblins have hereditary rulership. She also knows all the good and bad sides of that - she would never have come to power without those rules, but those rules also made her bastard half-brother a threat when he would have been a terrible leader. And she knows that true family is what you choose, not just an accident of birth. Will she decide that she has to have a husband? Will she decide that she cannot have a husband, who might threaten her power, but must give birth to a child for the succession? (And hey, magic can be involved, this is Xanth, she can TOTALLY have Jenny's baby somehow) Or what about adoption?

If you smut it, I don't care if they're still as young as they were in TCOHP (but no younger). I'm also fine with them being older. I would rather not do any temporary sex-change because that defeats my ulterior motive, but weird uses for Xanth-style magic stuff could be entertaining.

If the real-world implications of Jenny Elf bother you, I'll settle for Ivy/Nada, but that's going to need a lot more imagination to get a satisfying story out of it. How does their friendship develop between Isle of View and Man from Mundania, other than gossipping about their respective brothers? Do they have any adventures? How does Ivy cope with Nada's occasional self-destructive tendencies? How does Electra fit into their group?

---

Fern Capel - Jan Siegel

Any

This is a tall ask, since this book series doesn't seem very well known here, and the writing style is hard to match. On top of that, I've got a love/hate relationship with the series.

I adored the first book. I liked the rest of the trilogy... up to the ending WHICH I HATED. I detest reset-button plots, and I find "just let me forget everything" resolutions to be unpleasantly reminscent of suicidal inclination. Life is making choices and carrying on and learning how to deal with the consequences. We don't get to wipe out our histories. They're part of us. Also, choosing to stop fighting evil as long as you and your friend can be safe is... I don't want to say cowardly, because it's human, but it's very unsatisfying as the end of a heroic story.

I want a fix-it. Somehow. Anyhow. Rewrite the universe, change the events of the third book. Give me an ending with hope. Doesn't have to be super-happy, can acknowledge that the fight against darkness can never be 'won' and we'll all die in the end, but we carry on regardless and we find some joy in the world we live in on the way.

Find Fern another way out of her dilemma - or rewrite enough of the plot that she doesn't feel so hopeless to begin with. Let Fern love again! Let her _really_ love, let her experience different kinds of love and find them all valuable rather than holding on forever to what she's lost.

Any sort of story taking place within this world could be nice to read.

Other things that might be entertaining - reincarnate Morgun? Trap Morgus in a harmless, powerless body and force her to interact with the world until she learns to be less evil (which will take centuries)? I tend to enjoy ancient evils forced to be helpful and friendly (while being very bitter about it). Get Will and Gaynor together? Get Will, Gaynor, and Fern all together (sharing non-incestuously)? Let Fern find an older magical woman, a mother-witch type, who is kind and understanding and supportive, so she no longer has to feel like she's the one bearing all the knowledge and responsibility alone? Fern never really relaxes. What would it take for her to be safe and happy and still herself, rather than giving it all up?

DNW: Will/Fern.

---

Anyplace Anywhere Anytime - Nena ft. Kim Wilde (Music Video)

Any

So when I first saw this video, I thought, "OMG that is absolutely 90s White Wolf / Vampire the Masquerade. And kind of gay!" And that's basically what I'm requesting. Dark urban fantasy romance in the streets of London (or some other European city with gothic churches around). A story that has the feel of this video, whether or not it's a direct connection. Bring all your darkest teen vampire angst fantasies, let them run wild, and give them a happy ending (because this isn't a sad song!)

Desirable elements: lesbians (please!) vampires (please!) people wearing sunglasses (including at night, to hide their inhuman eyes) people wearing black leather, with extra straps and buckles and spikes trenchcoats fishnets - possibly even full-body stiletto boots dancing/nightclubs staff fighting, maybe some sort of ritual challenge for position forbidden romance, which somehow works out

Could be cool: time travel (but not a full Dark crossover please) reincarnation a lyric drop - either "anyplace, anywhere, anytime" or "I'll build you a castle of sand" (yes, I know that's a little awkward in English but if they're vampires maybe someone's first language isn't English, and it needs 'castle of sand' rather than 'sandcastle' to be a proper lyric drop IMO... Or you could just say it in German to begin with.)

DNW:

tragic dead lesbians at the end of it. NO BAD ENDING FOR THIS PLEASE.