#the ship is on fire and the captains are fucking around in the forest....

[hauntingblue]

Happy memory flashbacks we are so over....

[somfte]

"Money!" cried the squire. "Have you heard the story? What were these villains after but money? What do they care for but money? For what would they risk their rascal carcasses but money?"

Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson

(Epilepsy warning: flickering lights from 01:17 through 01:22 (if your display shows countdown timestamps, then 02:18 through 02:13))

[video description: a Black Sails fan video. Music is "Leaving the Old World" by Bytheway-May. Voiceover excerpts from the Treasure Island audiobook read by Michael Page.

The video fades in on Jack Rackham waiting in the Guthrie mansion in Philadelphia. A girl comes down the stairs and they converse: Girl: Is it true? Jack: I'm sorry? Girl: Uh, is it true… that you've come from Nassau? It's true isn't it? You're one of them. You're a pirate.

Instrumental orchestral music begins and the scene cuts to a view of the Walrus as it sails into the Skeleton Island bay. A voiceover asks, "Have you heard the story?"

Flint thumbs the edge of the missing page from the Urca schedule and his voice asks, "So you think that they see me as the villain in this particular story?"

Drawings of exaggerated pirate stereotypes blend with ghostly images of Flint in his more piratical moments. The voiceover asks, "What were these villains after but money?"

Flint asks Silver, "Why would you do that?" Silver responds, "You mean aside from the share of gold I'd get out of it?"

Miranda explains, "To show you a way out of all this, to free you." Flint demands, "A way out? Have you no memory of how we got here? What they took from us?"

Hornigold says, "I promised my men that if they stayed with me, they'd be soldiers again, that they'd be part of a rebel navy fighting a war to restore a rightful king."

Eleanor says to Vane, "…no more fighting, no more leads, no more chasing our fucking meals."

Silver continues, "…one big prize. And with it freedom."

Flint says to Anne, "We're all in this for our own reasons. You want your partner back. He wants victory. I want to set my home aright."

The music begins to swell. Billy tells Silver, "One more thing. No one gets any special treatment from you of any kind. No extra rations, no preferences in cuts of meat. Not for me, not for the quartermaster, not for the captain. Here, every man is equal."

Flint says to the maroon queen, over images of Julius, Billy, Vane, and white men in chains hauling lumber, "For every man in your camp, there are thousands somewhere in the West Indies living under the same yoke, chained in fields, pressed on ships, sold into indenture."

Max pleads with Eleanor, "We can have a life together. And it can start this very minute. All you have to do is say yes."

The music softens. The maroons are gathered happily around a large cooking fire, smiling and talking, and then we see Madi's face. She says, "But I hear other voices. A chorus of voices. Multitudes."

The video fades to black and the voiceover asks, "What did they care for but money?"

The music returns in earnest with dramatic drums and violins. Anne crawls across broken glass in the hold of a ship. Scott chokes a guard with the chains binding his wrists. Flint says, "Defined by their histories…" Vane stands at the gallows. Silver argues loudly with Flint, "I let you try it your way! I did trust you. But I am through wagering with her life now." A hooded Teach is dragged across the deck of a ship by a rope around his ankles. Flint continues, "…distorted to fit into their narrative." Flint drives a sword into the belly of Peter Ashe. Eleanor desperately picks up a pistol and fires it at the Spanish soldier attacking her. Flint rises to his feet in the forest on Skeleton Island, continuing, "…until all that is left of us are the monsters in the stories they tell their children."

The music climaxes and fades to gentle piano. The video fades to black for a moment, then shows an old pirate leaning against a railing on a ship. The voiceover asks again, "Have you heard the story?" It returns to Jack and the girl in the Guthrie mansion. Girl: I heard… Jack: Hmm? Girl: He sometimes butchered his enemies for amusement, made stew of their flesh. Flint stands over a cowering Alfred Hamilton. Vane, covered in grave dirt, rises over the corpse of his childhood tormentor. Girl: He was truly an animal. Silver cries out in pain and anger as he crushes the skull of Dufresne with his iron foot. Jack: Stew? Girl: Mh-hmm. Jack: I'm… I beg your pardon, but you believe this? Girl: I read it in a newspaper. Jack: Oh. Girl: Mm.

Silver stands in the forest on Skeleton Island, tears in his eyes, jaw clenched. The voiceover asks, "For what would they risk their rascal carcasses but money?" The music fades away. Distantly, Israel Hands, Ben Gunn, and two other pirates turn toward a sound in the distance on the island.

/end description]

[nyuusayuri]

Heart of the Pirate King (ongoing)

Ateez Kim Hongjoong x Reader {SMUT]

Warnings: mentions of blood, hunting, dead animals, knives, teasing, biting, fingering, dirty talk, SMUT

Chapter 5

Chapter 4: Time to hunt

The next day, I walked through the bustling city, joy radiating from me as I observed the progress made by the townsfolk. The energy of the place was contagious, and for a moment, I let myself forget about the lingering thoughts of a certain pirate.

As the sun rose over the horizon, Hongjoong lay restless, still preoccupied with memories of our last encounter. The night had left him a mess: needy, frustrated, and desperate for more. He fought hard against the urge to follow into my house, to claim the reward he had so barely restrained himself from taking.

Sleep had evaded him, leaving him tossing and turning while reliving the feeling of my body against his. No matter what he did, he couldn't shake the thought from his mind.

I occasionally glanced around, half-hoping to see him or his crew somewhere. A slight disappointment crept in each time I didn't spot them. I couldn't deny that the events of the previous night had ignited a fire within me, but I knew I couldn't give in to the lingering allure of a pirate.

As the day progressed, Hongjoong prowled the city streets, attempting to keep himself occupied. He navigated through the throngs of people, his eyes searching, desperately hoping to catch a glimpse of me. His crew exchanged bewildered glances, sensing his distracted mood. They had never seen him so worked up over a woman before.

Frustration gnawed at him as he clenched his jaw, his patience beginning to wear thin. He needed to see me again—to feel my skin against his and to hear the sweet sounds I made when I surrendered to pleasure.

As night fell, I returned home to gather my hunting equipment, hoping to distract myself from thoughts of the enigmatic captain.

With the sun dipping below the horizon, Hongjoong continued his search, his mood darkening with each passing moment without me. Restless and filled with unfulfilled desire, he was on the verge of giving up and heading back to his ship when he spotted a familiar silhouette walking down the street, carrying hunting gear. His heart raced as recognition set in.

I moved toward the nearest forest, pulling up my mask to obscure the lower half of my face and donning a black hood to conceal my hair.

The Captain followed from the shadows, every step silent and stealthy. As I dressed in my hunting gear, his curiosity piqued; this new side of me was intriguing.

He kept his distance as I entered the forest, keenly observing what I would do next. I found a spot in the bushes and crept forward, finally spotting my prey—a deer, grazing innocently ahead.

Hongjoong marveled at my fluid movements, recognizing my skill as an experienced hunter. His heart raced with anticipation, eager to see how I would approach the situation.

I quietly unpacked my bow, drew an arrow, and took a deep breath. With precision, I let the arrow fly, striking the deer cleanly in the head. It fell instantly, its life extinguished without pain.

The sight filled Hongjoong with admiration. He realized he had underestimated me, having assumed I was merely a pretty face. Watching me in action, confident and capable, made his heart beat faster.

Just as I approached the fallen deer, a deep growl echoed through the trees. My senses sharpened; I froze and turned toward the sound. "Oh fuck me," I whispered as I spotted a bear sprinting toward me, drawn by the scent of blood.

His eyes widened in alarm, and his heart raced. Hongjoong's instinct was to intervene, to warn me but he stayed low. Clenching his fists, he only watched me, hoping that I could handle the situation.

The bear spotted me and shifted its focus. My heart hammered as I slowly pulled out my knife and assumed a fighting stance. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," I warned, trying to keep my voice steady.

Determined, I faced the raging bear, my fear transforming into resolve. I expertly dodged its first attack and swiped at its paw. "Don't tell me I didn't warn you!" I called out, adrenaline coursing through my veins. As the bear lunged again, I fell to the ground, sliding beneath its massive frame, and plunged the knife deep into its heart.

Hongjoong held his breath in awe as I executed my plan flawlessly. Relief washed over him as he realized I had emerged victorious against the ferocious bear, admiration swelling within him.

The rush of desire surged through him, multiplied by the thrill of my bravery. Just as I felt the weight of the bear pressing down on me, I struggled but managed to push it away. "I'm sorry it had to come to this, but my family needs food," I murmured, gently stroking the bear's fur before I hurried over to the deer. Tying it to a rope, I began to drag it behind me.

As I pulled the deer through the forest, muscles straining under the weight, he admired my resilience.

"When you're done staring, I would be very grateful if you could help me here," I said, glancing in the direction where I sensed him lurking.

The pirate froze upon hearing my voice, realizing I had caught him. Panic flared momentarily, but knowing it was too late to hide, he stepped into view, hands raised in a gesture of peace.

"You knew I was there?" he asked, an amused smirk playing on his lips.

"I'm a hunter, Hongjoong. I've noticed worse snakes than you," I shot back, sarcasm lacing my tone as I removed my mask.

He couldn't help but chuckle at my response, amusement and admiration shining in his eyes. "Fair enough. I suppose I shouldn't underestimate your senses then," he replied.

As he stepped closer, his gaze roamed over my features, taking in my appearance now that the disguise was removed.

"What?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing. I just... I just like looking at you, that's all." His voice softened, the sincerity surprising me.

Before my face started to get red, I pressed the other half of the rope into his hand. "If you would be so kind?"

The motion caught him off guard, but he quickly masked it with a smirk. "Always happy to be of service," he quipped, amusement dancing in his eyes.

He wrapped the rope around his hand, effortlessly pulling the deer along behind him.

I stood, momentarily in awe as he towed the deer with ease. "Old show-off," I muttered under my breath, jogging to catch up.

Hearing my comment, he chuckled, the smirk on his face widening. "Hey, I just happen to have muscles, darling," he joked, his tone laced with cockiness.

As we walked together, I glanced at him teasingly. "Really? Haven't seen much of them."

When we reached my house, I hung the deer on a branch to let it bleed out.

He rolled his eyes at my playful remark, leaning against a nearby tree with a light chuckle. Crossing his arms over his chest, the muscles flexed beneath his shirt, drawing my gaze in a somewhat daring way.

"Oh, darling, if you wanted to see my muscles, all you had to do was ask," he replied, his voice dropping low and suggestive.

The tangled web between us thickened, the night enfolding us with a sense of intimacy that promised excitement. I knew then that the connection we shared was as undeniable as the adventures that lay ahead, igniting my curiosity and anticipation for what was to come.

"Okay. Show me then," I said, glancing over my shoulder at him, an enticing challenge in my voice.

He raised an eyebrow at my demand, a grin spreading across his face. I could see he hadn't expected me to take him up on the offer so quickly.

"As you wish, darling," he replied, his voice a sultry whisper.

He straightened from the tree and started unbuttoning his shirt, his fingers deftly working one button at a time. I was too focused on tying up the deer to notice what he was doing behind me until, turning around, I found him standing there with his shirt open, exposing his toned chest and strong muscles.

"I allowed you to help me for once and now you have a big mou-...mouth again," I said while I turned around, my eyes widening as I stared at him. I stood there speechless, my words faltering as I took in his physique. 

He chuckled deeply at my stunned reaction, reveling in the effect he had on me. "See something you like, darling?" he teased, a playful glint in his eyes.

Leaning back against the tree, he crossed his arms over his chest, his shirt still half buttoned, inviting my gaze.

I swallowed hard and shook my head, attempting to play it off. "You really are impossible." The irony of my words combined with laughter made my face turn crimson.

"Impossible to resist, you mean," he shot back, his smirk widening.

I raised an eyebrow, questioning him. "You couldn't help yourself, could you?"

"No, I couldn't," he replied, his voice laced with playful banter. "You're just too damn cute when you blush like that."

He stepped closer, closing the distance until we were nearly touching. I felt an undeniable pull towards him, remembering just two days ago when I would have pushed him away. Instead, I stood still, locking eyes with him. "What got you so riled up? Watching me hunt? Fighting a bear all by myself?"

"All of the above, darling. I've always had a weakness for strong and confident people," he answered, his voice low, dripping with seduction.

As he leaned in closer, his face inches from mine and his breath hot against my skin, I placed my hands on his warm chest. "You're so hot," I whispered, realizing too late how that sounded; shock coursed through me as I looked at him wide-eyed. "Don't get any ideas! I meant your body temperature!"

He chuckled softly at my fumbled words, finding my flustered reaction adorable. "Don't worry, darling; I won't get any ideas. But I must admit, I don't mind if you think I'm hot in other ways as well."

Embarrassment colored my cheeks, and I grumbled quietly to myself before pulling him towards me by his open shirt. "You can wait a long time for that," I whispered against his lips, barely able to contain my daze from his closeness.

His breath hitched as I pulled him closer, the unexpected gesture sending a rush of desire through him. "Darling, you're playing a dangerous game," he warned, his voice low and hoarse. "You can't tease me like that and expect me not to respond."

He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer, so our bodies pressed flush against each other, our breaths mingling in the charged air.

"Maybe this time I want a response," I murmured, breathing heavily against his lips, my gaze locked onto his.

Hongjoong felt his control slipping, the look in my eyes driving him wild. "Careful, darling. If you keep looking at me like that, I might not be able to hold back," he whispered, his voice rough with desire.

In an instant, he pressed his lips against mine, capturing me in a hungry, passionate kiss. His hands roamed my body, pulling me even closer to him.

"Mhh," I let out a soft moan, wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him even closer.

A shiver ran down his spine at my reaction, his desire intensifying. He tangled his fingers in my hair, deepening the kiss as we pressed against each other. His hands explored every inch of me, igniting a fire that raged between us.

After a while, I pulled back, breathless, and glanced around the garden before grabbing his hand and leading him away. "Not here," I said quickly, pulling him into the house and up to my bedroom.

He followed willingly, his heart hammering in his chest as desire clouded his mind. Once the door closed behind us, he pushed me against the wall, pressing himself against me, hands on either side of my head.

"You're driving me crazy, darling," he whispered, his need palpable.

"Then do something about it," I leaned closer, whispering into his ear, my voice teasing as I nibbled at his earlobe.

His body reacted with a shiver at my touch as he started to attack my neck with little bites, the sound of my voice breaking through any restraint he had left. "Be careful, sweetheart. Or you might get burned," he growled, his voice low and ragged.

"Maybe I love to burn," I moaned, leaning my head back to grant him better access to my neck. I relished his control over me.

He continued to shower my neck with fiery kisses, his hands roaming freely over my body, each touch igniting a primal urge within me.

"You're so damn beautiful," he murmured between kisses, his breath hot against my skin. "I can't get enough of you."

Pressing his body against mine, his hips pinned me against the wall, the heat between us palpable.

"Hongjoong!" I gasped as I felt the undeniable evidence of his arousal pushing against me.

He released a low groan, feeling the friction send waves of pleasure through us both, heightened by my reactions. "You're killing me, sweetheart," he whispered, his desire rising dangerously high. "The sounds you make... I can't get enough of them."

In a moment of urgency, he nibbled at my collarbone, his hands roaming over me with a possessive longing that sent me spiraling.

"Please. I need more," I begged desperately, yearning to feel more of him against my skin.

"So impatient, darling," he teased, his voice a rough whisper. "But I can't deny you when you ask so nicely."

Letting go of my waist, his hands found the hem of my shirt, slowly peeling it off, his eyes roaming over my exposed chest with unabashed hunger.

I watched him, breathless, letting my gaze slip over his muscular form once more, completely captivated.

Feeling my eyes upon him only spurred his eagerness further. "Like what you see, darling?" he asked, smirking, his voice dripping with confidence.

"Do you?" I teased back, a grin slipping onto my lips, only to feel my body temperature rise as his chest pressed against mine.

"Yes, I do," he replied, every bit of his pleasure evident in his raspy voice. "I like what I see very much."

He pressed himself even closer, sending delicious jolts of pleasure through me. "And I can feel that you're enjoying this just as much as I am."

As he nipped at my lips, I whimpered breathlessly, pulling him closer by his shirt, desperately yearning to grind my hips against his. "Fuck...Hongjoong," I gasped, my need growing stronger.

"Watch your mouth, darling," he warned, his voice a mixture of authority and desire. "You're testing my control here."

"Oh fuck," I cried out, my head falling back as he rubbed against me, sending shockwaves of pleasure through my body. "Don't like that?" I asked teasingly.

"You know I do," he replied with a growl, an intensity radiating from him. "But you're driving me insane."

Trailing kisses down my neck, his hands explored every inch of my newly freed skin, continuing their relentless journey ignited by desire.

"You're going to be the death of me, you know that?" "Says the pirate," I laughed briefly, savoring the irony, but my laughter turned into a sharp intake of breath as his lips ventured lower towards my chest. My heart raced beneath the teasing pressure.

"You have a point there, darling," he whispered in a heated breath, his mouth busy with my skin. "But you're the one who's begging for more, aren't you?"

At his words, I instinctively bit my lip to suppress any sounds that dared to come out of my throat.

His mouth roamed, teasing my flesh with bites and kisses. "Give in, darling," he whispered, his voice a seductive murmur. "Let go and let me hear those pretty sounds again."

As pleasure enveloped me, I bit my lip harder and dug my fingers into his hair, pressing him firmer against me while his mouth feasted on my chest. One of his hands wandered deeper toward the waistband of my pants before they made their way inside.

I gasped quietly, feeling the spark of his fingers between my legs. The direct contact made me shudder and hold onto him tightly.

"You're so responsive," he purred, his voice heavy with desire. "I love the way you react to my touch, darling."

His fingers moved against me with both gentleness and urgency, finding all the right spots, coaxing gasps and soft moans from my lips.

"Ahh fuck..." I whispered, my body betraying my restraint as I succumbed to the bliss of his touch.

"You're so wet, darling," he murmured in my ear, rough and low. "You're ready for me, aren't you?"

With each movement, his touch coaxed me closer to the edge, my breaths growing heavier with each passing moment while his fingers drove fast little circles over my swollen bud.

"H-Hong...Hongjoong," I gasped as waves of pleasure built within me. "Fuck...so close."

"That's it, darling," he urged, his voice thick with rough desire. "Let go. Let me feel you come for me."

I felt myself trembling, on the brink of release, as he quickened the pace of his movements, my body teetering at the edge.

"Oh my... Hongjooooong! Ahhng," I moaned, my body writhing uncontrollably against him.

He locked eyes with me, seeing the pleasure painted across my features. "You're so beautiful when you fall apart for me," he whispered, his voice raw and possessive.

With a relentless rhythm, he continued his ministrations, driving me closer to the edge again.

"God, how... how many more do you... plan to make me cum?" I moaned, desperate and overwhelmed.

"As many as I want, darling," he replied darkly, his desire palpable. "I'm not done with you yet. I want to see you come apart for me, again and again."

With his fingers continuing their skilled dance, I felt the tension building inside me once more.

When another climax washed over me, I bit down on his shoulder to muffle my scream, knowing it would be intense.

He held me tightly as my body convulsed, feeling me shake and quiver in his arms. "That's it, darling," he murmured, his breath hot against my skin. "You're so beautiful when you let go like this. I could watch you forever."

Slowly withdrawing his fingers, he held me as I struggled to regain my breath, utterly undone.

"Fucking hell," I breathed, looking at him, my legs trembling beneath me.

"You're so beautiful, darling," he whispered, his voice low. "I love seeing you like this, all trembling and weak in my arms."

I leaned my head against his shoulder, reveling in the moment as I fought to catch my breath. "You really almost killed me with all those orgasms..."

He chuckled softly in my ear, wrapping his arms tightly around me. "Almost killed you? I'd prefer to say I just gave you a little taste of heaven."

I smiled, still breathless. "More like hell, with you as its King."

He laughed, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Is that a complaint, darling? I can assure you, hell has never been this enjoyable."

Looking down at me, still flushed and breathless, he felt a rush of possessive pride over what he had done to me.

"We are not done yet," I declared, my strength returning as I pushed him back, watching as he landed behind him on my bed.

He looked up at me, surprise sparking in his eyes. "Oh? What more do you have in mind?" he asked, eager anticipation flickering in his gaze.

I grinned while I took off my ruined pants before I crawled over him—the night was far from over, and I felt the thrilling rush of possibilities just beginning to unfold.

[theshimadaslovers]

I CARE ABOUT HIM

CHAPTER 4 - My Protection

Summary: In the last chapters, the Overwatch team ship was attacked and fell in the middle of a forest in winter. Hanzo and you camped together, some feelings were starting to get real. Later, both found a piece of medal from Reinhardt's armour and blood in an abandoned camp fire. Hanzo is worried about your safety in the woods, it may be in dangerous territory.

*in the camp fire, in the middle of the night. Hanzo is sharpening some wood sticks while you sit by the fire*

You - *look at him, he seems worried* Han?

Hanzo- Mm? *Still sharpening the wood*

You- You ok?

Hanzo- *inhales* I'm... Just worried about what we found. The ship has been attacked, we are probably in Nule Sector territory and they're hunting us. *Look at you* It is hard to think in what we should do.

You- *look at the stick* You're... Doin' arrows?

Hanzo- Yeah... *Sighs* Trying my best... *Get back to sharpening and break the stick* .... Damn it! *throw it away taking his hands in his face in stress*

You- Hey...*you stand up sitting beside him* We are going to be fine! *you smile hugging his arm* They may be looking for us, but Overwatch is also coming to rescue us. And we are going to find Rein, if that piece of medal is really from his armour... We are doing our best to survive now, ok?

Hanzo- Mm...*he takes a deep breath and looks at you with a smirk* You really know how to make me feel better.

You- No panicking, dummy *you stand up* We still have some food, water, we are good! We need to wait for the rescue! *Open your arms* Is all fine!

*The radio starts to call and both can hear Vivian's voice*

Hanzo- The captain! *He picks up and stands up* Captain? Do you copy?

Vivian- Ge-! *Statics* O-u...!

You- What? *Approaches* Captain, we can't hear you! Do you copy?

Vivian- Ge-t o-ut...! Of ...! The wo-..ss! Th- Woo-! ...Hun...ters! *A creepy and deep sound of something big and robotic can be heard* N-OO--!!!

Hanzo-... *Look at you* What the fuck was that?

You- Shit...! *You looked terrified* I think I was wrong...?

Hanzo- We need to move! *He starts to pack everything while you throw the rest of the water on the fire* No smoke...! Wet everything! Leave everything!

You- But...! Hanzo! This is shelter!

Hanzo- They're hunting us! *He tried to speak quietly* Come on! Leave everything! I got the food and-!

~Wuuooooonnn~

*A sound, almost like a didgeridoo or a very deep horn sound. Almost like the Tripod sound from War of the Worlds. It was terrifying. Hanzo slowly squatted with his finger in his lips making a quiet "shhh" for you. You also squatted, your heart was beating fast and looks like your chest could explode any moment.*

*More tripods sounds and machine steps could be heard not so far away. Everything was pitch dark, but they were machines... Could easily spot both of you*

Hanzo- *slowly approaching you while squatting* Hold my hand...and stick together... *He holds your face looking deep inside your eyes* Don't ever let it go, ok? In any circumstances. Stay with me, ok?

You- Okay... *Your body was shaking*

Hanzo- We are going to be ok ... I promise *kissed your forehead* Just stay with me.

*He grabs your hand tight and stands up a little more walking fast to a far distance from the sounds, his other hand was in front of him, palming anything on his way until his eyes get used to the dark, same with you. The tripod sounds once again, but right after... The sound is just like a submarine sonar surrounding the woods, making both stop walking, afraid... Terrified*

*It was completely silent, in pitch dark, in winter wood. One...two...three times the sonar keeps going and Hanzo couldn't move forward, so he squatted again with you*

Hanzo- *slowly turns around to you* Y/n... Do you trust me? *He whispered while holding your shaking hands*

You- Y-yes, I do...wh-why...?! *You try to whisper, but your voice is too shaken, filled with terror*

Hanzo- Shhh...*he holds your face one more time* Listen to me... When I say run...

You- No no no...! Hanzo no!

Hanzo- Listen to me, y/n...please, trust me.

You- You told me to stay with you...! *You started to cry* Don't make any stupid thing...!

Hanzo- They know we are here... There's no way out. When I let you go... You run in that direction, as far away as you can... Ok? I'll be fine, I promise.

You- You...! *You look at him terrified* Hanzo, please...! If they-

Hanzo- Y/n... *He smiles caressing your face* This is not a goodbye *both hear the sound closer and the sonar keeps going* Ok, look... Trust me, I'll be back and if I don't...*he notices your anxiety at the moment he says that, take a deep breath* If I don't... Find me, ok?

You- I will... *An angry sound from the tripod and fast steps starts approaching, you look back and see a big robot with a red light on his face, just like a normal nule sector machine, but...bigger and dangerous* Han...!

Hanzo- ... *Wait still for the right moment* Wait... *He holds your hand tight and takes a deep breath feeling nervous* Remember, this is not a goodbye... *The machine makes another sonar sound and immediately looks at you both* I love you.

You- What? *You look surprised and he let go of your hand*

Hanzo- Now go! *The machine immediately starts to run in your direction, Hanzo stands up* RUN!

*You immediately did what he said in desperation. Hanzo ran to the other side calling the nule sector attention that ran after him like an animal, destroying trees and making creepy noises. Hanzo was in panic, making sharp turns between the trees and making the machine more angry*

*Hanzo unfortunately ran into deep snow and fell with his foot stuck in the soft snow*

Hanzo- Fuck! *He looked back and the nule sector immediately stopped in front of him now opening a system to analyze his face while he tries to stand up*

Nule Sector- Recognition complete, Hanzo Shimada Overwatch, Shimada clan *suddenly on the nule sector's, tentacles of steel immediately grabbed his torso pulling up* Nule Sector wanted.

Hanzo- !!!! *He felt the tentacles squishing his body, in a desperate action to breath, he tried to take off the tentacles off his torso* AAH! FUUUCK! *Looking around trying to figure a way out*

*The Nule Sector starts to walk while holding Hanzo in the air*

*At the other side of the woods, you were seated by a tree catching your breath and waiting for some sign of Hanzo. You couldn't hear the Nule Sector anymore, for sure it was gone, but...and Hanzo?*

*You stand up and carefully start to look around...empty and quiet woods*

You- Han...? *Your voice barely came out in fear that the Nule Sector could hear* Han? Are you...there? *The woods made an echo and nothing* Please...?

*You in small steps more inside the woods, where you came from, looking around*

You- Han?! Hanzo! *You scream his name and feel a very cold wind hit your back making you shiver* Haan!

*Your body was getting colder every second, the sweat from your body didn't help at all. You pick up some wood sticks to build a fireplace, the food and water, everything was with Hanzo. You're screw*

*A few minutes later, the Nule Sector was still taking Hanzo with him through the forest while he kept trying to get out. He was exhausted and gave up for a moment*

Hanzo- *look back with worries* Y/n... *He felt the night getting colder and the robot suddenly stopped and he could hear a river closer, he looked forward* What?

*The Nule Sector approaches more the river making bips sounds of worries*

Hanzo- Scared of water? Fucking weak...

Nule Sector- *angry noise squishing him again* !!!

Hanzo- Aargh!! Alright! Sorry!

*The Nule Sector looked around trying to figure out some other way, but that was it... River, an angry river. He stepped into the water and slowly walked until the middle, where Hanzo had an idea. Well, robots can't swim and water on his "brain" will damage the whole system. In a fast and spontaneous move, Hanzo grabs the robot's head with his legs and with his body weight immediately pulls him to the side, making the robot lose his balance, also because of the river current. Both fell into the water, but Hanzo went straight underwater and the robot didn't let him go. The machine tries to stand up, but the water hits his system damaging his movements, and in consequence, Hanzo could not breathe and the current was taking both of them. He tries desperately to release himself while the robot still tries to keep his head out of the water, but it was too late, the Nule Sector soon shut it down and Hanzo could finally swim up for air*

Hanzo- *Reach the surface* AA...! *Gasp and holds himself in a stone* Aaa... Fuck... *He looked back at the dead robot body going down the river* That was close...

*He soon reached the safe land, freezing to death, but he still made a long walk from where he came...he was worried as hell with you, so he just screamed your name until you could hear him*

Hanzo- Y/N!!! Heeeeeey!!! Girl, where are you?! Y/n!!

*You were trying to make a fire, but the wind didn't let you have this luxury*

You- Come on...come on! *You could see a little fire appearing in the middle of the sticks* Come on! Yes! *The wind blows immediately and you shiver* No no...! No no no no!

~Y/N!!!~

*You immediately raise your head in disbelief, did you just hear Hanzo?*

~Where are you?!~

*You stand up running straight to his voice. A few trees later you could see him all soaked and you immediately went straight for a hug*

You- Oh my God! You're alive!

Hanzo- Nearly... *He shakes* It was lucky, I believe... I'm glad you...are alive too.

You- What happened?! You're freezing to death! *You hold his face in desperate* Oh my God, what do I do?!

Hanzo- I...just need...fire...

You- We need to get out of this wind, Han...! *You look around*

Hanzo- ...*look at your purple lips* You're... Freezing.

You- Listen to me! *You hold his arms* Can you walk a little further? We need to find a place to stay!

Hanzo- Y/n... I'll be fine... *He smiled* My dragons...the spirits... They can help me.

You- What?

Hanzo- I can't die... They would die too, they can warm me up.

You- I see...! *You shivers* It's hard to believe, but, I got it

Hanzo- Is not for everyone... Let's go...*He holds your hand and starts walking*

*It was about 5 am, the morning already helped a little bit with the cold and the wind stopped. You are still shaking, Hanzo got better thanks to his dragon spirits, you didn't want to worry him, so you did your best to pretend that you're ok*

Hanzo- *look at you for a moment and stop walking* Y/n...!

You- Wh-what?

Hanzo- *gets worried and pull you to him hugging you* You're freezing! Why you're so quiet?!

You- I don't want to worry you...we need to move on... And you're worse than me.

Hanzo- *sighs and thinks* If I could warm you up in another way...

You- *look at him surprised* Don't say something like that *laughs*

Hanzo- What? *Laughs* Wasn't supposed to sound dirty.

You- But sounded...! *Stop walking and shivers again* The sun could help me a little bit more.

*Hanzo sighs in worry again, walks behind you hugging you from the back*

Hanzo- Listen to me... We stop here, ok? Let's build a fire and warm you up before you get sick...or worse.

*He stepped back and went to some trees getting some draw woods, you kept looking at him judging him for his decision, you just wanted to get out of there. He looked at you and laughed*

Hanzo- Don't look at me like that. Is the best decision. I can't and I don't want you to walk through this ice cold weather like that. *He slowly throws some sticks in your direction* I don't want you to get sick, maybe you got some pneumonia, some... disease! I don't know...I don't want that *He keeps talking and grabbing the woods sticks* I'm sure you don't want that too. I wish my dragons could warm you too, I'm still cold, but it is a slow process... I need you to stay warm, that's all, I'll hunt for some food and grab some water... We should make a shelter first, I don't know where our campfire is anymore....

You-... *Smirk looking down*

Hanzo- We can make some shelter, it is easy! Trust me! *Smiles staying in his tiptoes to grab some dry leaves* Some woods and we have a nice little campfire!

You- I love you.

*Hanzo stopped for a second on his tiptoes, he turned around surprised and you could see a smirk on the side of his lips*

Hanzo- I ...I-I ...*laughs getting shy* I wasn't expecting that.

You- I couldn't answer back earlier...

Hanzo- I... Well... *Cleans throat feeling dumb and red* That ... That is very...I mean, such a...warm sensation! *Laughs*

You- *approaches him grabbing the sticks he left on the way* I'll help you... It may help my body get warmer.

Hanzo- *take a deep breath looking at you like a young teenager in love* Just...be careful, ok?

You- Sure, but you are here to protect me.

Hanzo- You can protect yourself *laughs*

You- I'd rather be protected by you *give him a little push, making him laugh*

*Beside the problems and the present situation, when Hanzo and y/n are together, no matter the weather, no matter the complications... Their love will always protect each other*

(artist: could not find ..again 🫠)

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Continue...

[starschu]

No because don’t get me wrong I’ve made peace with the ending we got, but can you IMAGINE if we got this

No one expects the gun, so there’s no time for the crew to react as Rick swings his aim to Izzy. Time slows to a stop as his finger finds the trigger—wide eyed with a triumphant grin overtaking his face—and Izzy has only a second to process, to think “fuck, how the FUCK did we forget to check him for weapons” before the gun fires and—

—Ed dives in front of him, the bullet lodging itself in his side.

Everything goes quiet.

Izzy doesn’t hear the shots from Stede’s Gun that miss as Rick darts away into the forest. Doesn’t register the slaughter that ensues as their crew takes down soldier after soldier with a new surge of wild, protective vigor. He’s far too occupied with the body that’s toppled into him. The red that slicks his fingers as he tries to keep Ed on his feet. The knowing, victorious glint Izzy sees in his eyes even as he sucks in pained breaths through his teeth.

The noise of the enfolding chaos around them starts to creep back in as Stede rushes over in an instant to help, shouting and cursing in panic as he takes Ed’s other arm over his shoulder. As they begin hobbling forward Ed grimaces in pain but maintains steadfast that he’s fine, it’s his left side, just keep moving. But Izzy knows. He knows this isn’t just another wound to add to the collection as they hurry to the ship, a trail of blood behind them.

It feels like ages have passed before they get Ed back to the boat, laying him down on the rapidly staining deck. In a moment of adrenaline, the captain instincts finally take hold as Stede shouts orders at his crew. Roach and Black Pete run into the cabin to grab clean pieces of fabric to stop the bleeding, while Wee John and Olu race to grab a needle and thread from the arts and craft kit. But Izzy’s still glued to Ed’s side. So are the rest of the crew—the crew that’d been with Ed those last two months. The crew he’d put through hell.

With the same precision they’d used to slice through men raid after raid Jim digs into the weeping wound to fish out the bullet, Archie taking their place and applying pressure right after. Frenchie—who’d once stared down emotionlessly at his captain on that fateful night of the storm—has tears rolling down his face as he clutches Ed’s hand, the box well and truly cracked open. Fang has Ed’s head cushioned in his lap, stroking his hair gently and encouraging him to keep talking, just keep talking, and to stay awake. As they work Lucius holds back a distraught and pleading Stede, who’d deflated as soon as he’d heard Ed’s pained cries. As he stares at the frantic scene in front of him, Lucius remembers their conversation aboard the Red Flag, about Blackbeard’s time being over, and chokes back the surge of…something that tries to force its way out his throat. Instead, he does his best to console Stede, even as his voice wavers.

Izzy still delivers the same monologue, except it’s grief stricken and watery with tears. He apologizes for pushing him to the edge, for ever making him believe that the worst thing he could be was himself. All he wants is for him to be able to be Ed, please god he just wants him to be himself and there and with them; he deserves a soft life, a quiet life. Deserves to find out what a retirement could be. And it’s in that moment that Ed looks around at the crew he’s hurt, his crew, and sees faces full of anguish, sorrow, and… forgiveness. He’s surrounded by people who have forgiven him. People that love him. And as he closes his eyes, he smiles. And then the scene fades to black…

…and into the scene of the wedding. Time has passed. Cuts, bruises, and scars from the month before have long faded. The ship has been decorated with bright flowers, daffodils at the insistence of Black Pete, who’d received a playful glare from his fiancé that had puzzled the rest of the crew.

Stede walks Lucius down the aisle—had insisted on doing so at the very begging of the wedding planning process and would NOT be convinced otherwise thank you very much—and Lucius rolls his eyes at the theatrics, even as he smiles into their shared hug after they reach the make-shift alter, after which Stede struts right back down the aisle to make the same trip with Black Pete. The role of the officiant had been designated to Izzy, given that he’d be taking the helm once the ship set off on their next voyage. Stede had pulled Izzy aside a couple days before the ceremony and told him that out of everyone in the world, he was the one man he knew he could trust The Revenge and his crew with, that he could depend on him to keep that piece of his heart safe no matter what. And if Izzy had called him an insufferable twat and pulled him into quite possibly the angriest hug Stede had ever received, well, he felt like that was his secret alone.

After Lucius and Pete have agreed to both their (and the crews) vows , Izzy asks for the rings. Then, from offscreen, Ed the ring bearer makes his way up.

He’s still recovering, the wound in his side still giving him grief a lot fucking more than he’d like, but he walks proudly as he makes his way up to the happy couple. He offers up the fancy pillow they’d snagged for the occasion, having helped each groom pick out the perfect ring when they visited the slowly growing New Republic of Pirates. After giving both of them a smile and pat on the shoulder Ed glances up at Izzy, a moment passing between the two of them. There’s a look written across both of their faces, the kind of look that says both “would you ever have believed, all those years ago, we’d ever be doing something like this?” and “I’d chose this life, every single time” at once. Then Ed, with a salute and a teasing ‘back to you, Captain Hands,’ turns and makes his way over to the ship’s railing.

As he settles by Stede’s side, he can’t help but glance over at him, drinking in his warm smile and the obvious happiness in his eyes as the newly weds embrace amidst everyone’s applause and enthused shouting. Not for the first time the idea of ‘Edward Bonnet’ floats through his head. And yeah he knows, between the repairs needed for the inn and the bitching recovery process that’s sure to keep things chaste between the two of them for Way Too Fucking Long, they’ll have enough on their hands. There’s no way in hell he isn’t thinking about it though. The ring he’d picked out at the New Pirate Republic while Lucius and Black Pete weren’t looking is a comforting weight in his pocket.

Some part of him deep down still twangs with guilt when he thinks of how Stede had to make the choice to stay with him while the crew sets off, and how excited he’d been a month ago to live the adventurous life of the Gentleman Pirate. Stede deserves adventure, he thinks. That’s not to say that Stede hasn’t been reminding him over and over again that he’s sure of his choice, that yes he’s irrevocably in love with him and that his greatest adventure has been following him to the ends of the Earth, but old habits die hard and all that other shit.

But then, Stede’s looking over at him, eyes crinkling at the corners as he grins in that way that absolutely floors Ed every single time, and there’s a hand brushing against his, calloused and strong and yet still so soft. And Ed smiles, twining their fingers together like that night under the moon, and decides that now is no time to worry. Sure, maybe one day he’ll be up for another journey at sea; he’s made the choice to keep his leathers—hangs them up in his and Stede’s shared closet every night when they go to bed, right next to the blue robe he wears when they make breakfast in the morning. Maybe he’s fated to spend the rest of his days on land, able to rest his wings and build a nest to call home. But right now, he’s not gonna dwell on the future, not while they have so much time ahead of them, time together. Right now, he’s more than happy to take it slow.

(Lmao I don’t know what possessed me to write this much but yeah, hope y’all enjoy. Also I know that conventional wedding stuff probably didn’t happen back then but 1) I feel robbed of a supper sappy over the top wedding bash and 2) it’d be more in line with the show to NOT be historically accurate soooo :’D)

y'all. y'all. I cracked the fucking code and I am so fucking mad about it because it's a fix that solves every major problem with the finale:

have ed get shot (injured, not killed) in defense of izzy.

seriously, hear me out, this solves LITERALLY EVERY PROBLEM:

"Ed never gave Izzy a real apology!" "Izzy would never accept one!" okay, then don't have Ed apologize to Izzy verbally. have him apologize by taking a bullet for him. have Izzy cuss out Ed for doing something so stupid while cradling him in his arms.

"Ed never gave the crew a real apology!" okay, then have him get shot defending Izzy as both a subtle callback to Izzy shooting Ed in defense of the crew in "red flags" and as proof that he's changed.

"it makes no sense for Izzy to say the whole crew loves Ed when that hasn't been shown at all!" okay, then show it. any lingering hatred the crew has gets wiped out when they see that Ed really does care about Izzy (keeping in mind that him not treating Izzy well was a major unifying thing for them), and they all work to help him: getting the bullet out, holding his hand, telling him he's going to be okay. Ed's accepted back into the family because of his deeds, not his words, and we get a nice call back to the scene where the crew makes Izzy's leg.

"Izzy's death was all about Ed and Ed's arc and that's fucked up" okay, so have there be a REASON that Ed is the center of attention (the reason being that he's been shot and the entire crew needs to care for him) and make it actually part of Ed's arc (acting selflessly in defense of them when he's been pretty self-centered and not really accepting responsibility this entire time).

"it makes no sense for Ed to retire to an inn on land when we just established that he's bad at things that aren't piracy!" okay, then don't have him retire voluntarily. he needs to recover from his bullet wound on land, and so the crew needs to reluctantly leave him behind.

"it makes no sense for Stede to retire to an inn when his entire arc has been him finding a family in the crew and getting the respect he never had!" okay, so make it a really difficult decision for him – staying on land with Ed, the love of his life, or staying with the crew and being a big bad pirate – and ultimately choose Ed. have Ed even try to talk him into staying with the crew, because he loves piracy so much! but given another choice to leave Ed (one that Ed would be aware of and understand), he stays this time.

"Izzy's death is inconsistent with the rest of the series where the good guys survive absurd levels of violence and the bad guys die hilarious karmic deaths" okay, so don't have him OR Ed die. have Ed get shot, have him be seriously injured, maybe even fake us out by having him get shot on the right side (which is of course the side with the important bits!), and then have him live.

"Izzy dies right when he was starting to enjoy life and find his own family/community outside of Ed!" exactly. so don't kill him. shoot Ed. and then have Ed retire on land.

[ikkaku-of-heart]

@medicus-mortem​ asked: ♡ [I will be nice.]

Dream drabbles! (Still Accepting!)

The sun was warm on her face as she sat on the Polar Tang’s deck, enjoying the feeling of Law’s long fingers as they combed through her hair, gently parting her curls into smaller sections and neatly braiding the strands. It was soothing. Comforting. Ikkaku could honestly sit there for hours letting him play with her hair.

“I saw the new addition you made on the ship,” Law said, and she could hear the proud smile in his voice. “Good job. Might be your best work yet.”

She shrugged her shoulders a bit, though her cheeks still turned a pleased pink. “Eh, I could still be better.”

A fist softly but firmly thumped her head in reproach. “None of that, meine Schwester. Your work is perfect and you should be proud of it. I can’t imagine our home in better hands.”

The words wiped away her doubts and Ikkaku leaned back, arching her neck so she could grin up at her captain’s smiling face. A real, soft, proud, happy smile. The kind he only gave his crew, particularly when he felt they had done something exceptional. “Well, I couldn’t think of her being captained by a better pirate.”

“I can’t wait to see what you do next.” Tattooed arms wrapped around her shoulders, hugging her from behind. Ikkaku snuggled against his warm chest in response, happy and safe. “I’m glad I picked you up on that fucking backwater hellhole. Those idiots will never know what they lost. In fact, I think we should send some photos of your work to your crazy old man so he can show them off t’ the dumbasses. Make ‘em see for themselves just how fuckin’ talented you are.”

“Promise I’m worth the trouble?” she asked, giving a content sigh.

“You’re worth any trouble. You’re worth fighting for. Worth killing for. I’ll protect you with my life, little sister. Don’t you ever fucking doubt that. I promise I’ll always come for you.”

---

There was a screech, startling Ikkaku awake with a jolt. The warm, happy feeling the dream had left behind faded as she remembered where she was. The Whale Forest on Zou. Waiting for Law. He said he’d meet with them. He’d promised he’d come back once he’d finished his business on Punk Hazard. Then they’d all sail together and put in action the next step in his plan to take down Joker.

There was another screech, either from some nocturnal bird or from the night guard of the Minks fighting something, and Ikkaku knew she wouldn’t be getting back to sleep. Wrapping her blanket tightly around her shoulders, she trudged towards the little table the crew had set up. On it, under a glass bell jar to protect it from the heat of the smoldering fire and the evening wind, was Law’s vivre card. It had changed direction only a few days before, indicating that he had left Punk Hazard and had moved elsewhere. But just that morning, the edges of the white card had started to burn away, shrinking it down to half its original size.

Arms rested on the table’s surface, her chin cradled between them as she stared at the vivre card. Something was wrong. What had happened to her captain? Fuck, had he been attacked? Captured? She wished the News Coo would hurry up and deliver some news of the outside world. The birds rarely seemed to make the journey to the top of the roaming elephant. But something big was going on, and Law was in the thick of it. She could feel it in the way her heart twisted and ached.

“You’d better come back, Law,” she whispered, not wanting to wake the rest of the sleeping crew. Wiping away a tear she felt run down her cheek, she added, “You promised.”

[celestial-fucking-weeb]

NAGĀ!SERO

Hey y’all! This is a part of the Citrus Server Hybrid!AU Collab! The masterlist is HERE, please please please go check everyone’s pieces out!

A/N: I am fully aware that this is all over the place, ya girl is off her meds and will edit later. Please don’t tell me it sucks, I already know and I hate it, too.

SERO HANTA X F!READER

WARNINGS: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, angst, smut, double penetration, aphrodisiac, interspecies miscommunication, size kink, breeding kink, mating, idk tell me if i missed anything

You had always heard stories about creatures in the forest; ones that eat humans, ones kidnap children, ones that would hurt you if you ever ran off by yourself. You didn’t believe them… Or maybe you did, but either way, the creatures could never be as scary as the life you already lived.

You had been taken prisoner when your coastal village was raided by pirates. Your clan’s viking warriors were off on a journey, leaving all of you oh so vulnerable with depleted numbers. They were going to kill you, like they did most of the others, but the pirate setting fire to everything in his path halted when he found you trembling under the rubble.

“Tomura, come see the new toy I found. Don’t you wanna keep her?”

“You sadistic bastard, how you get off to them crying like that never fails to make me sick. I don’t care what you do with her, Dabi, but I’m not cleaning up after you this time.”

They hauled you back to their ship, stripped you of everything and chained you in the hull. People came in and out, always different but always vile. You never spoke, you knew they wanted your screams. Overhaul, the captain, was the worst. You never knew when he was coming, and once he was there, you wondered what he wanted from you at all. Chained up, never touching you with anything but knives and his boots, not looking for your reactions… You wondered if he’d even notice if you stopped breathing. You dissociated for most of it, choosing instead to safeguard your mind, plan an escape.

About a year later, you found an opportunity in the carelessness of one of your captors. You docked someplace warm, someplace humid, maybe tropical? Toga had left your chains too loose after your last “date”, and had tossed the keys just a bit too close. As soon as she left, you had slipped your wrists out of the restraints, strained for the keys, and unlocked the shackles around your ankles. Not taking a moment to revel in the surreal feeling of being unchained, you listened until the heavy footsteps above you all faded into nothing, leaving the ship and most importantly: leaving you alone.

You ran. You ran so steadily, somehow comforted by the sounds of destruction getting further and further away. You found yourself blindly sprinting into a forest that looked nothing like your own, so damp and bright and warm. You kept running until you heard shuffling behind you, causing you to find the first thick vine hanging in your vicinity and clung to it as you climbed. Looking back, you see a simple boar grazing the forest floor. Sighing in relief, you relaxed a bit too soon, as the vine you had wrapped yourself around began to move.

Before you could react, you were wrapped up tightly in bands of muscle and brought towards the head of the- wait…- man? You had heard of nagā before, but the ones from your village’s stories were never described as so… tan, muscular, handsome. He didn’t look all that mean from the waist up, just the black, orange, and yellow scales trailing down his massive, strong tail seemed intimidating. He looked confused, concerned even, by your nakedness and panic stricken silence. Forked tongue flicking out to taste the air, smelling the blood and the abuse on your skin, seeing your quickly defeated body give up, and your mind resign itself to the comfort that at least you died free of your captors.

“Are you… okay?” The giant snake rumbles, human hand reaching towards your face and recoiling when you flinch.

You haven't spoken in months, your silence having been a security blanket, and you’re not ready to give that up. You do nothing, just look into his eyes and search for any sort of indication as to what he’s going to do. He loosens his grip a bit, just enough to slip down from his tree and head towards his hide- an old cave covered in ivy, moss, and little orange blossoms. He brings you in, and places you down on the ground before turning away to rummage through his things. He brings out water and bandages, along with some kind of salve that looks like a mixture of plants. You don’t reach for the water when he sets it near you, so he resorts to using the tip of his tail to bring it to your lips while his hands are busy tending to your wounds and gently rubbing the salve over your poorly healed scars. He offers you food, very confused when you don't seem to know what to do with the forest rodent he’s brought you, and decides on fruits he’s found. You don’t seem to want to do anything, not even going to sunbathe even though you’re obviously shivering.

THAT’S IT!!! SHE’S COLD! He thinks to himself, before wrapping his tail around you once more and bringing you outside to the rock where he typically warms himself. He gently places you down, uncoils you from his grasp, and gives you enough space to move as you please. You blink a few times, slowly realizing you’re free. He helped you? For no reason? He doesn’t know you…

“H-Hi… Thank… Thank you.” You mutter, looking away and blushing.

Cute… He thinks. “YOU TALK!!! What’s your name? I’m Sero, but you can call me Hanta! I was worried about you! Who are you? Why are you here? How did you get here?”

The line of questioning makes your head spin, and you try your best to answer before looking down and realizing you never found clothes. Blushing once again, you meekly gesture to your body and ask, “C-Clothes. I need clothes.” Hanta looks confused, but retreats to the cave and returns, bringing you a large piece of cloth that somewhat resembles a hemp blanket. It smells like oranges and spice, and you unconsciously snuggle into its comfort. Sero notices your calmed reaction to his scent and approaches you, gingerly grasps your ankle and picks up your leg, never having been so close to a human, and explores the strange angles your appendages bend.

“What are you doing?” You seem embarrassed, despite the number of people who've touched you before. This is too familiar, too intimate, almost too gentle.

“Tiny… Humans are… Small…”

You let him bend your limbs and play with your squish, strangely calm and trusting in his presence. He seems so enthralled by your body and how you move, so intrigued. That is, until he makes his way to massaging your plush thighs, causing a rush of arousal you hadn’t felt in what seemed like forever. He prys opens your legs to continue his ministrations, not knowing the smell of your lust would have him flicking his tongue out and his eyes turning to hyper-focused slits. He suddenly releases your legs, slithers around your back, and presses against you. He taps the top of your head with his chin and waits for your response. Not knowing what this means, but wanting him to continue his exploration, you lean back into him and whine quietly.

You have no idea what you’ve started.

Hanta leans down, pressing sweet kisses down the column of your throat and leaving scathing bites in all the right places. Aphrodisiac venom coursing through your veins, you don’t even register his muscular arms wrapping around your body and lifting you, carrying you back into his cave and up into his hammock. He wraps his strong tail completely around your torso and takes his time kissing and groping your soft body, mumbling “mate, mate, mate” into your heated flesh. He finally makes his way down to your mound, prying your thighs apart and diving straight in before you could question his reverent gaze.

“HANTAAA~” You practically screamed as his long tongue slipped between your folds, running along your clit and down to your clenching hole, his saliva increasing the heat coursing through your core. “M-More, please… More~”

“More, what?” He smirks against your heat. “Say it. Tell me I’m your mate and I’ll make sure you’re fucked dumb, yeah? My pretty little mate.”

You stutter for a moment, getting more desperate the longer his fingers drag along your wetness. “Mate… Please! I need you… I’m yours!”

“Good mate~” His tongue wriggles back into your cunt, and his fingers slowly move further down to stretch your tight ass, making you squeal in surprise. Your orgasm takes you by surprise, all thoughts abandoning your mind as you ride out your high on his face and fingers.

“Are you ready, little one?” He growls lowly, lining up two long, thick cocks with each hole. Your eyes widen in surprise, head clearing for a moment after your climax.

“T-two?! Wait wait wait, I’ve never… I can’t! Two?!”

“Oh, little mate, but you can and you will!” He punctuates his statement by spitting down onto your cunt, thick venom slipping down to your tight rim. You moan and grind against his cocks, aphrodisiac leading your body into a blissed out state of submission. “Gonna fill you up so good. I promise you’ll be so full, feel so good, little mate. Trust me?”

“Y-yes! Wanna be full, want my mate!” You beg and plead for him to push into you, hips bucking against him, trying to get him to satiate the burning want he’d created. It isn’t until you thread your fingers through his hair and wrap your legs around his waist that he thrusts into you completely.

“That’s it, wrap around me like that. So tight, so warm… Fuuuck!~” Sero pants, chest pressed tightly to yours and face tucked into the crook of your neck, licking and sucking deep marks over your pulse point.

You’ve never felt so full, your body strangely welcoming the pleasurable stretch of your holes, pulling him deeper and deeper until you can feel him in your belly with every roll of his powerful hips. Your whimpers and tears only seem to spur him on, drawing orgasm after orgasm from your body.

“S-Shit, keep squeezing around me like that. Come on, little one, I know you have one more for me. Cum with me, I wanna feel you cum one more time. Gonna breed you, gonna fill you so good. Come on, pretty mate- fuck- cum for me~” He reaches down and pinches your overstimulated clit between two fingers and bites down on your neck one last time, sending you over the edge with a cry of “breed me, breed me, breed me!” and nails digging into his back.

“Mine! My mate, pretty little mate. Breed mate, all mine!! Gonna- gonna… Ah~” Hanta’s words steadily fell from his lips as he released deep inside your holes, belly bulging from the sheer amount of seed he spilled into you.

Utterly exhausted and dreamily floating off, you cling to him. Sero wraps you up in his tail and lays back into his hammock, keeping you as close as he can. When you snuggle into him, he whispers little praises into your hairline, a constant stream of “so good, pretty mate, all mine, i love you, so perfect, did so well, took me so well, such a good mate”.

The next day, you wake up surrounded by soft cloth, feathers, fruits, fluffy furs, a dozen shiny objects and pretty dried flowers. You sit up, looking around frantically for your mate before your eyes settle on a sheepish-looking Sero, wiggling nervously around the cave.

“Um… Do you… like it? I made it for you… I just- please tell me you like it!” He shrinks himself a bit, arm coming up to palm the back of his neck.

“Oh, is this a… nest? It’s- It’s very nice. Thank you, Hanta!” You smile softly at him, curling up into your nest and reaching out for him.

“MATE!!! I’m so happy you like it, I was so nervous!!! My mate. You can stay here all the time, so I can protect you, forever! My pretty little mate.~” He climbs into the nest and coils himself around you, content to guard you.

Maybe this time, being kept isn’t so bad.

[izzyliker]

I love looking at ofmd through a class lens your meta is on poiiint.

Ive also seen the argument that Izzy is being toxic and unreasonable by not getting with the program and changing to fit the crew bc Stede's reality warping powers means that's a good move. But they're not real! Stede doesn't have powers! There ARE consequences to Stede's bullshit and both him and his crew pay for it multiple times, it just gets played for laughs. Stede nearly gets killed directly as a result of him being a privileged idiot living in fantasy land, they crash their ship, and with the oranges situation (that Stede caused!) the Swede loses teeth and the crew has to do hard labor to get oranges while Stede fucks around in the forest even though he could have presumably just bought the oranges.

Like. To me this reads as Stede is running a startup anyone with sense would know to avoid no matter how well he pays bc it WILL crash and burn any day soon with no warning, and no matter how much your boss insists this company is a family you Know as soon as shit hits the fan he will leave you to hang either bc he's incompetent or doesnt actually care about you as a person. And in the canon context if he fucks up people have a high chance of not surviving it, not just losing their income.

I like Stede as a character, I think he really wants to TRY earning success and a life he loves by the end of the season and I want to see him grow into an actually good leader at some point, but I know in my bones that irl I'd hate his guts bc I've had bosses like him before and they suck. If it was firmly a romantic comedy Id be more inclined to let it go as part of the allowances of the genre but it's not, the genre changes wont let me. Ive worked IT for the government, useless coworkers and bosses that literally cant get fired no matter how much more work they cause everyone else are a plague on my house and I cant imagine how stressed out Id be if going to the office carried a high risk of death. Izzy is being very reasonable actually I would have snapped worse lmao

Also I dont think Izzy is being a toxic friend in trying to remove Ed from Stede's influence when 1) he knows Ed gets caught up and lost in other people bc of Jack, 2) Ed has said to Izzy's face that he'd like to try dying, and 3) Izzy knows following Stede is suicidal. He doesnt get to see anything that would temper his view that this is what's happening either! Every instance of Stede showing potential as a pirate captain Izzy is not there! And Ed doesn't say anything to him to convince him this isnt the situation!

He is however losing it by the end of the season, that's where Izzy fucks up big and loses a toe for it lol

TBH big agree - i think izzy is REALLY MEAN to ed (and both crews) in several instances and i keep having to rewatch to remind myself of the fact that even when he Has A Point he’s still often going at it in ways that are Kinda Awful, but like he’s NOT some homophobic no fun allowed villain people seem to think he is. like bros literally surrounded by people who are utterly incompetent and refuse to do their job meaning You have to do it and there is nothing he can do about it LOL. someone wrote a modern au r/amitheasshole type post about this exact scenario actually where stede owns a startup and ed decides to merge his business with his failing scam of a company, i’ll try to dig it out bc it was hilarious

[reidhalstead]

Hurt tastes like smoky vanilla and caramel, burnt at the base of the pan. It isn't the agony of what he knows; the pain that comes with immortality; being present at a funeral never given; grieving for self and the loss of things still at the end of his fingertips. If Anika hurts him and it's like this, he would let her bury all the moth-shaped sharp things in his leg, his chest, his throat, every day — It's stupid. It's selfish and it's visible in the way that she breaks them apart. A ludicrous lapse in sensibilities that he wants to kick himself for. Teenage angst is two decades late, but the man behind the monster won't let it go.

If this is all the power he gives loss of control, he is thankful. Wandering mouths, drunk on glass-bottled whiskey. Somewhere beside and between them, like that dagger had been; the beginning of all things between them — Reid almost chokes on the memory that beginnings always have an ending. It has hands wrapped around his throat, stealing the life from him all over again. He wants immortality for a fleeting second; to never see an end; to see an endlessness that they can have a beginning every morning, or night or —

It's funny that he understands it then. Why old friends like Kiri obsess over the fact; that a lifetime seems so short, and sudden. Reid never let himself imagine all the things he would have done, in life. Because that is a grief that serves no purpose in undeath. He has reminders; like those kids in the arcade who Morgan wrangles daily and the domesticated life he sees of a family leaving the coffee shop, at closing time. Things he'll never touch. He'd thought that about countless things; about everything.

The hand on Anika's face uproots all of that. He's got a cold palm searing against the setting sun. He's never understood why she won't recoil, or run — she's always ran. He can hear the words snapped at her from his mouth. Not about this. Never about this, but, she's running from all the wrong things. He doesn't drown in that ocean alongside him; weighed down by heavy rocks and chains, he will forever know the price of it all.

Not once has it edged into the corner of Reid's understanding, that she might be warning him of more than blades and hunter responsibilities. That's all he knows. He hasn't lived her life, but he's been there, in flashes. In another life. This one is all skewed with a broken self-confidence and an arrogance brutally plucked out of him, inch by inch. But she's not cursing him, or mocking him. She's in a liferaft that's got a rip in it, and it's sinking. Instead of captaining; going down with the raft out of stubbornness, she's reaching out her hand, crying for help in the darkness. Reid knows what her hands feel like, and he grabs it because she never cries for help.

And she'd been there when his ship had been almost sunk to the watery abyss. When he feared the mountain ranges and was haunted by the fires of the forest that might take everything from him.

Warmth lingers on his lips and her childlike innocence reflects off his own. It's not innocent, not them, their thoughts; their lives. For the fucking life of him, he doesn't know what he's doing either. And where pride is but fumes, he cannot let out the embarrassing words of exactly how long it's been since he did know what he was doing. She can trick him easily with the way the slick of her hand dips at his collar, finding his chest. His gaze wanders, exploring her face like he's never seen it before; that he will never see it like this again. It's not clear who of the pair of them she's trying to convince it's not the whiskey.

"I know," It's quiet, and it's meant to reassure. It encompasses the facade of what he does and doesn't know — of what he sees and doesn't when he witnesses Anika flailing from that life raft. When she might remember to breathe, she could stop and consider the quake of nerves in his thigh from muscles long greyed. "I shouldn't—" He tries not to laugh in her face, because they're so close, that she's one leg away from climbing into his lap. It is the whiskey, he wants to say. But that sounds like something easily misunderstood. Reid lets his hand slip down her cheek, thumb lingering over her mouth, like a fool. I can take you inside... he almost says, before he thinks how badly that can be misconstrued. I'm being selfish. His teeth stab his tongue, ceasing the words before he tells her that in all its toxic glory.

"It's okay," It's all he knows how to say to her. It's okay for her to drive that stake into his heart, to laugh as she reaches for the bottle; for them both to forget this in an hour, or for them to wake up in the morning, wrapped in liferaft debris. It's not okay. He's not the selfless hero for suppressing an awful nature. And she's wrong, again. She's never going to hurt him. Not like he will her. Because that's all greedy monsters do. Hurt.

"No, you care too much about the stains and the carpets and the deposit — " she countered, avoiding that compliment on his tongue, greens rolling playfully. Anika could go on and on, and list all the other things he cared for, that he didn't have to. Because she knew of that too. The useless, little things in no need of his attention. Unlike her, who rarely cared about anything other than herself. Anika, who'd never bring herself to get him take out or leave a stupid, little post it, or have the common decency to knock on his door instead of barging in. She'd always been a force that only took, and took and never gave anything in return.

So, why would he think that she had, given him anything? What could she possibly give him? Impossibilities, pipe dreams, delusional daydreams — "Are we talking about the same person?" she wondered out loud. "I'm only going to hurt you." maybe that's why she tried to pull away; stunned and cursing at her own stupidity, her own broken pieces all laid out on display for him to see now. Urging him to make the right decision — to walk away, before she'd leaned in any further, before she made the wrong move (the very right move) that could lead to disaster. Another place turned home left. Bags packed and by the door. She could already see it. Leaving him.

Anika could barely recall the last time she put her mouth (a taste that wasn't stolen) to someone, and felt that flip of her stomach that was now nothing but a foreign thing she could barely recognise. Even as it happened, she didn't know what to make of it. She didn't know what to make of that lump in her throat — like she'd swollen something very hard. Her body has not ached for a touch, in so very long. Her lips had not burned to be kissed. Intimacy had become something she feared. She didn't know what to do with her hands, she didn't know what to do with her mouth (like a teenager, but without the naivity of youth on her shoulders) — if she should brave the storm and claim his own (mouth and hands) before he sobered up and realized what he was staring at. That the green in her eyes didn't swirl and swirl like vines, but the tails of medusa's snakes.

Had he forgotten who she was? She couldn't. For a moment, Anika thought it wasn't just the whiskey — he must've lost his mind. He kissed her, knowing that she could claw him apart. Lips to starving lips, like he found something thrilling in wanting her to. He wanted her sharpened nails to tear the skin off his back, her dainty fingers around his throat. He'd be a fool to think her taste would be anything but bitter. There was nothing gentle, nothing tender about the woman in his arms — the only delicate thing about her, was his touch on her face.

There was something arcing in her chest. That fear that was so bright and dazzling, pulling their lips apart like it had grown hands and claws and they had gripped tightly onto her (tighter than the hold of his hand on hers.) She was letting it win. She was giving it the power to rip her away from him. "I, uh — " that scar on her hand started to pulsate, like it had suddenly acquired a heartbeat, and was alive. Her forehead leaned against his, the tip of her tongue going over her bottom lip briefly. " — I don't know what I'm doing." you sound fucking ridiculous. Her heart beated desire and panic all at once.

The hand that wasn't in his, reached up and found the dip at the base of his neck. Those patches of dying, amber light scattered over his skin. And her fingers traced them all; a torturous decent down to his chest. She was drawn to him — tied to him.

"It's not the whiskey — " a beat, suddenly wishing he wouldn't take this the wrong way. But he knew — Reid knew this had very little to do with him, and entirely to do with her. This was all her, fucking it up before it had even begun. "I just — I haven't. You know I haven't."

[twistedwit]

v. There are no victories. There are only battles (canon, nottingham)

There is a legend centered around the fabled Sherwood Forest, a tale spun of an outlaw hero who stood against the oppressive regime to help the poor survive the acting ruler’s clutches while England awaited its king’s return. Orphaned after a fire killed his parents and forced to scratch out an existence for himself and his sister, Guy of Gisborne finds himself under the pressure of the sheriff of Nottingham’s thumb, molded until the boy that was is dead and the wolf has been awoken. On the sheriff’s orders, Guy travels to the Holy Land on a ship captained by one Captain Hook in an effort to kill the king, only to return under the rumpled banner of defeat. Mainly set in the series 2 timeframe, this verse follows the canon story with an added emphasis on the exploration of what should have happened, had the small sparks of humanity left inside been allowed to flame instead of being snuffed out. Guy spends much of his time at Hook’s side, walking a careful balancing act of kindness and survival at all cost.  

* please note this verse has many divergences but is also the only version of canon I will entertain writing with. For a complete list of the things I believed the show absolutely fucked up and do not acknowledge, please either message me or refer to a link on my doc

verse tag

[colormeyondublue]

Chapter 12: Cards With The Boys (NSFW)

Chapter 11 Here

After confessing his love for you, you decide it was about time to move in with the Captain. It didn’t take long to get your things together because you don’t have much. After getting settled in the Captain’s quarters, you felt your heart soar at how for you two have come.

Later, you sit at your desk in your office tying up some loose ends, day dreaming of Yondu, and of going back to Earth. There isn’t much work to be done, but the peacefulness of your office brings you a sense of normalcy that you dearly missed. While you made sure your data drives were totally backed up and in working order, your door opens quietly. You glance behind you to see Yondu’s handsome face. You turn back to your computer and tell him you’ll be done in just a second.

“Do ya really gotta be working right now? Ya work all the damn time. There ain’t even much that needs done right now anyway! The crew’s gonna be on leave fer a few weeks while we’re gone.”

“I work because I like to!” You protest. “Besides, I’m almost done. Hold your horses.”

“Ya still never explained ta me what a horse even is ya know.” Yondu huffs as he sits down on the couch in your office.

You sigh and shake your head. You never imagined you’d have to explain to an adult what a horse was, but here you are. You eject the data drive and throw it in the drawer of your desk. “A horse, is a large mammalian quadruped with both binocular and monocular vision. They can weigh anywhere between 800 to 1,800 – sometimes 2,000 pounds! They’ve been used by my people as a source of food, labor, transportation and companionship for thousands of years. They’ve helped Terrans in every aspect of life, and nothing that we’ve accomplished to this point could have been done without their help. They’ve fought in our wars, and carried entire countries on their backs at times. In modern times they are primarily pets, used to work livestock, or ridden in competition.”

The captain rubs his chin for a moment. “What’s a pound?”

You stare at him blankly for a good few moments before it dawns on you. You are going to have to explain a lot to Yondu when you get to Earth. There is so much that he still doesn’t know about.

“A pound is just a unit of measurement. It’s used in some countries to quantify how much something weighs. It’s directly related to Earth’s gravitational pull. You know as well as I do that something on Krylor wouldn’t weigh the same as it would on Xandar, right?

“Yeah, I know that. But pounds is just what ya’ll call it?” He asks.

“Well…in some places. In others they might measure weight a little differently. But that’s a whole other conversation for another time. How about I just show you a horse when we get to Earth?” You chuckle.

“Sounds like a plan ta me. But anyway, what I came down here for was ta ask ya if ya wanted to play cards with me and the boys?”

“Oh, I don’t know. It’s already getting kind of late, and I don’t know how to play.”

Yondu stands up from where he’s sitting and approaches you. He steps behind you and gently gathers your hair to one side of your neck. He bends down to place light, seductive kisses up and down your neck before murmuring in your ear, “Come on baby, I ain’t seen ya all day. It’ll just be a few hands, and I wanna show you off to my men for a while. Show ‘em what’s mine.” He continues to kiss you along the length of your neck, and he begins to pull your sleeve down your shoulder to taste a little bit more of your skin. You can’t stop your breaths from coming in deeper and slower. Yondu never fails to make you melt in his hands.

“Alright, alright. You talked me into it. But that mouth of yours just isn’t fair. You cheated and you know it!”

Yondu laughs and gives you a smug grin as he points to himself, “Uhh, Ravager? Not to mention, I’m a Ravager Captain. I see somethin’ I want, and I take it. Including you.” He tugs you closer by your waist and kisses you hard and heavy.

You pull away after a few moments and ask, “Okay, so do you want to get some or go play cards? I’m not sure that we have time for both.”

He growls in annoyance at your point. “Damn. Ya might be right. Let’s go.”

~~~

You both sit down at the poker table in the ship’s bar with Yondu, Kraglin, Oblo, Tullk, and Geff. These guys have honestly become your closest friends, and you were happy to have a drink with them and learn to play card games. You were learning a Xandarian game that is similar to Black Jack, except there’s more suits and the cards are octogons. It’s a little confusing at first, but you catch on pretty quick. A few hands in, Tullk asks you if you’re excited to see Terra again.

“Yeah! I can’t wait to see the trees and breathe in the air. I miss our sunsets and forests. I miss the songs the birds sing. I miss the smell of the rain. But I think I miss our blue skies even more.” You smile softly and glance over at Yondu. He smiles back and offers you a quick wink as he takes a swig of his beer. He pulls you closer to him with one firm tug on your seat, and throws his arm over the back of your chair.

“Sounds like a neat place to me!” Geff chimes in as he looks over his hand.

“Got any idea of what your plan might be? What are you gonna do first?” Oblo asks.

“Well…I guess I’ll try to find my mom first. I think she would still live in the same place. I can’t imagine she would move. It’s only been a few years. Then once I find her, I’ll get in touch with my sister. But when it comes to introducing them to Yondu – well, I think I’m gonna have to explain a few things first. Ease them into it. Ya know? I know a place where Yondu can lay low until everything is calmed down. Being kidnapped by an alien race and then shipped out all over the galaxy isn’t going to be easy to explain.” You rub your temple lightly. It didn’t occur to you just how much of a shock your return might be.

“So Tullk, have you ever thought about going back?” You ask, hoping it’s an innocent enough question.

“Nah, not me lass. There isn’t anythin’ left fer me on our planet. I’m happy here with the crew. Mah life back on Terra was a little rough. Got in with some men who were less than savory. Joined Yondu’s crew an’ never looked back.”

The rest of the game you listen to Kraglin and Oblo’s banter back and forth, and wonder to yourself what kind of people Tullk got involved with. You figure that some things are better left unsaid, and as long and he’s happy here, that’s enough for you. Once the game is over, Kraglin gets the cards together and everyone heads in for the night. As you’re walking toward the door, Yondu grabs your hand.

“Hey honey, me ‘n Krags are gonna go over a few things around the ship fer when you and I leave tomorrow. I’ll meet you back at ma quarters?”

“Sure thing, but don’t be too long.” You stand on your tip toes to kiss him on the cheek, and head toward the Captain’s quarters.

~~~

You’re playing your list of songs on your personal playlist while you pack for the trip. You find out that there are thousands of songs you hadn’t listened to yet. You had no idea at first, but these data devices Kraglin uses have seemingly endless storage. You were getting a little buzzed, having gotten into Yondu’s whiskey stash at his minibar. A little celebration was in order since you were going back to Earth with Yondu. You were dancing hazily to Fantasy by Mariah Carey. Yondu walks back toward his cabin door, hears some muffled song and smirks to himself. As quietly as possible, he opens the door to find you dancing drunkenly to the music. He enters the room and you don’t even notice his presence as you continue to dance and sing. He creeps into the room and sits down in his recliner, interested in just watching you.

As much of a goofy drunk as you are, he smiles to himself. You might just be the best thing that ever happened to me, girl.  

The song changes over to Love On The Brain by Rhianna. Although your playlist has a ton of different songs, music was something that always resonated with you, and you liked almost anything. With the lyrics of the song carrying you away, you feel large, warm hands on your hips as you sway to the music. Immediately knowing who is feeling you up, you lean into his body and he begins to sway with you. He brings his lips to your neck and kisses you slowly. His lips kiss and part from your neck over and over, and it makes your core ache as warmth spreads through your limbs. Letting go, you fall into him even more, surrendering yourself to him. His hands begin to wander over your body, feeling your hips and thighs. You let out a few breathy moans, and your knees grow weak. While still facing away from him, you bring up your arms and wrap them around his neck as he teases your ear with his tongue. He notices that his bottle of Krylorian Whiskey is almost half empty, and you are way past buzzed at this point.

Baby you got me like ah, woo, ah Don't you stop loving me (loving me) Don't quit loving me (loving me) Just start loving me (loving me)

Oh, and baby I'm fist fighting with fire Just to get close to you Can we burn something, babe? And I run for miles just to get a taste Must be love on the brain That's got me feeling this way (feeling this way) It beats me black and blue but it fucks me so good And I can't get enough Must be love on the brain yeah And it keeps cursing my name (cursing my name) No matter what I do, I'm no good without you And I can't get enough Must be love on the brain

The beat carries you both to his bed and he continues his loving assault on your torso and neck. At this point, the room is spinning a little, and the next thing you see is a gorgeous blue chest, and your captains’ pants slowly being undone. You are more than frisky, and the second his pants come undone, you dive into him. He doesn’t have a chance to argue, as his cock is already making its way into your mouth. He groans in response, and finds a fistful of your hair. The alcohol in your veins gives you some kind of super power and your skills with his manhood are already blowing his mind. He peers down at you with his head tilted to the side, groaning at the sensation you’re giving him. All of that whiskey has made your gag reflex vanish, and you can take him deep into your throat. He watches intently as his cock disappears into your mouth and he moans loudly. You continue to blow him out of his mind for a while longer, polishing the head every now and again. You hear him speak up, “Baby girl, I’m gonna cum if ya don’t stop.”

You look up him momentarily, roll your eyes with pleasure and moan on his cock. You’ve got him exactly where you want him. In a few more minutes, he spits out a string of curses at the intensity of his orgasm. “Oh, fuckin’ hell – yes! Shit….mmmhmm.” He pushes his raging hard cock as deep into your mouth as you can stand, and cums down your throat. You slowly slide his cock out of your mouth, and sensually lick the tip clean.

“It’s even better than I expected.” You smirk up at him. His cum tastes wildly different than a human’s. It isn’t bitter at all. It’s still slightly salty, but it’s also a little sweet and nutty. The taste was completely unexpected, and you almost couldn’t believe it. You tease his sensitive cock with your tongue to make it jump. “Oh, fuck. Ya might be more than I can handle when you drink like that.” He huffs out a laugh and collapses on the bed. “Alright, yer turn sugar.”

“No, it’s okay. I just wanted to make you feel good. I want to show you how much you mean to me. I don’t need anything. This was more than enough for me.” You kiss him lovingly, and snuggle into his side.

“I love you y/n. Ya really are an amazin’ woman. A damn whiskey bandit, but amazin’.”

~~~

The next morning, Yondu is still in bed with you. He wakes you up slightly by wrapping his strong arms around you and he pulls you as close as he can. You never thought in a million years that Yondu would be a cuddler, but in the privacy of his cabin he usually turned into a huge teddy bear.

“Good morning, handsome.” You mumble.

“Mornin’, sugar. Guess what?” He asks.

“What?”

“Today’s the day.” He says as he gently rubs your legs.

You push up on your arms quickly and look around the room. Today’s the day?! Oh my gosh, today’s the day!” You jump out of bed and start to get undressed.

“Woah, wait a minute! Where you goin’? We’ve got all day, slow down girl. Come ‘ere.” He beckons you back to him before you can get your t-shirt and sweats all the way off. You smile and crawl back into bed with your captain. “I wanna spend a little more time with ma woman before we head out. It’s gonna be a long flight, and who knows how long we might hafta be apart while you get your family stuff sorted out.” He pulls you close, and you happily snuggle into his warm embrace. Yondu is the warmest, and most incredible big spoon ever. His warmth is amazing, his body is so firm and strong. His hands engulf your torso almost completely. Absentmindedly, you rub your hands along his arms as he holds you.

“I love you.” These are the only words you can come up with, and yet they barely capture your feelings for him.

“I love you too, honey.” He takes in a deep breath and sighs. Yondu is trying his best to keep his worries at bay. He’s going to take up as much time as he can with you, which is why he wants to be so cuddly. It’s almost as if he’s afraid that you could vanish from his embrace. Today was not going to be an easy one for him. The uncertainty is maddening.

[fyeahmeninroyalnavy]

A Letter to the Forester Estate and the Writers of Horatio Hornblower, the TV Series

This is my letter from Horatio Hornblower and the fans of Archie Kennedy to the CS Forester Estate and also the Hornblower writers who killed off Archie Kennedy and then discarded him as if he meant nothing, particularly to Horatio. You may see their relationship as platonic or not. This is nothing against Lieutenant Bush who is a lovely man and a compelling character.

So, you think I’m such a heartless bastard that I could just move on without my best friend who gave up his good name for me to spare my “now purposeless” life? A life without my sun to my moon?

He’s probably still warm as he’s taken to a pauper’s grave or worse and I’m given a fucking promotion and a ship! I just lost my dearest friend, my brother in arms, my companion to whom I could

communicate without words, and he to me. The man I silently vowed to protect from that evil bastard Simpson. The man whose face I tenderly caressed as he writhed in fits, or nightmares, who I carried through the rain, begged to live, to drink. Whose bedside I sat vigil at, watching over him, feeding him, helping him to grow stronger. Because I said it myself. “I can’t do this without you. I won’t make it.”

Never mind that my men gave me hell, most of them anyway. We weren’t going anywhere without Archie and he would not be left behind. I would not, could not fail him again.

When I had to hit my friend in the head as he fitted, agony was clearly written on my face. And my heart broke as I saw the jolly boat drifting away taking a piece of my soul along with it.

And of course there’s more. Perhaps you didn’t notice how Archie and I called one another by our Christian names. And that he inspired courage, light, and greatness in me that I never knew I had. I was just a scared, awkward, seasick little boy that first day, thrust into the bowels of a Hell I never knew existed. And there was that bright faced animated ray of sunshine cheering me on. “Jump! You’ll be allright.” Then grinning at my no doubt green hue, “Welcome to Purgatory!”

How he still had such cheer and optimism after all he had been through on that hell ship is difficult to understand. After all, he was just a boy as well, only months older than me. And he had been on that ship far longer. Only later, after getting to know just what sort of person my dear Archie was would I understand.

Because there is, “was” no one else like him on this earth. I would have been entirely unmanned and crushed to bits had I endured what he had. I will never have that sort of courage, resilience and optimism, and I’ll never love anyone again now that he’s gone.

It is all I can do merely to get through a single hour, let alone a day. My soul is in agony without him and I look forward to my own death.

End of Part One.

Part Two

Did the writers not notice how very close Archie was to me? Because the viewers damned sure did! Any chance we had to gently touch or comfort one another, we took advantage of. When I returned from the hole in El Ferrol, Archie couldn’t get to me quickly enough. He was so loving, and concerned, and even stroked my chest. If the viewers took it as we couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves, then they would be right.

And my loyal Archie went back to the prison hell he had been in, not even fully recovered to show his faith in me, his respect, and his love.

Then there was the disaster that was Muzillac. I believe that’s when I realized there was no going back.

I was so proud of my new Lieutenant’s uniform. I actually began to feel worthy of my promotion. And Archie was obviously just as pleased. I saw that look in his warm blue eyes. The look of love and something more. He’d had a drink you see and as he began admiring my new uniform I realized he was flirting with me. And I flirted back!

Neither of us knew what was coming as we escorted Moncoutant and his men to Quiberon. But as always we would have one another’s back. And if one of us should falter, the other would be there for support.

As it came to pass, it was my dear still wounded Archie who held me up, indeed saved my life at the end. My brother in arms serving as acting Lieutenant in his Majesty’s Royal Navy, not truly recovered from El Ferrol or from the terrible abuse from that scab Simpson, would rise to the occasion for me. Indeed risked his very life without hesitation to save mine.

He was still bantering with me in the beginning as he always did, loving nothing more than to tease and annoy me. Knowing I wasn’t fond of horses, let alone using them as transportation, I saw the sparkle in his eye, the smirk of his lips as I struggled to mount the beast. Secretly I enjoyed the teasing and we both knew it. Anything to get that sunshine smile from him was always worth it to me.

Is it not evident to anyone with eyes and two brain cells how well the two of us understand and care for one another?

Then came the turning point. When Archie became what he was always meant to be. A hero.

After all Archie had been through so recently with being in prison and the events preceding it, he struggled with anxiety about the situation we found ourselves in. I tried to make light of things to reassure him but I don’t believe he was buying it. Still he remained with our men, doing the best he could while I was off playing the gallant hero. I‘m not sure what I was doing or why. Yes I had a crush on Mariette. Yes, I wanted information from her about our enemy. Maybe I was trying to find a ray of sunshine in a black cloud of misery; a failed mission of pain, grief, and loss of life. If not for Archie I would be among the losses.

Acting Lieutenant Archie Kennedy. The man was a true hero. He was there for his men and led them in spite of his fear and panic.

Then he came through for me in a big way. He saved my life.

Archie agonized about lighting the fuse to blow up the bridge in Muzillac. His voice had a slight break when speaking to Matthews about whether I was still alive or not. He kept delaying and hesitating, hoping I would show. Eventually Matthews offered to take on that burden, lighting the fuse himself.

When I suddenly appeared with Mariette over the hill, Archie sprung into action immediately. Holding fire of our marines and asking for protection of us both as Mariette was suddenly shot. As I fell to pieces and the fuse came closer to blowing up not just the bridge but me along with it, Archie bravely broke into a run, arriving to pull my weeping form away from Mariette and certain death. He put his arms about me, gently saying there was nothing more to be done for her, and pulling me away as we ran for our very lives, barely escaping. He provided comfort with an arm around me, empathetic looks and touches. As we made it back to the Indefatigable and I was called to brief Captain Pellew, my dearest friend looked at me and lovingly touched my arm. It will all be okay Horatio he said without words. End of Part Two

Part Three to follow

[criticalroleisdestroyingme]

Oh Death

She said to me

"Oh, Death

Come close my eyes, woah"

I know, I'm more fool than wise

After losing the Mighty Nein in Nicodranas, Astrid and Eadwulf are sent on their next assignment. Tracking a loose end in the Frozen North, they stumble across a few more surprises, and the pieces start to add up.

The aforementioned songfic of "Oh Death" by SUGR?. Canon divergent at the end of C2E131. Written from the perspective of a highly angsty Astrid with plenty of Blumendrei and Shadowgast. Advice for Essek based on this post by @slayerscake.

A note to those who count the words of Sending - I kept it accurate to where Matt took a pause for Astrid’s Sending back to Jester, of 26 and 24.

Read more below!

Oh, when I see her looking at me

You best believe

She's only looking past me

What a mess Bren left behind him before he again vanished to the North. It took a full day for Trent’s ire to settle from a raging forest fire into a controlled burn, sending his operatives to seek out their trail. Curiously, Trent did not allow any others into his vault to pick up any trace of Bren - he must have found the amulets, otherwise the search would have been simple. It didn’t take a spymaster to determine what else Bren must have spirited away to send him on such a determined chase, and Wulf quickly agreed that whether intentional or not, Bren now had in his possession the most damning evidence of the enhancements all Volstrucker wore beneath their skin.

Was this their chance to finally…? Bren hadn’t reacted the way she hoped during their meeting, eyebrows furrowing as she had quietly whispered her seditious musings in his ear. He didn’t trust her, didn’t trust them, of course he shouldn’t, Wulf added. She bitterly hoped their actions in Nicodranas would cement that trust, but maybe Bren no longer operated on their wavelength. He couldn’t, shouldn’t allow himself to trust his compromised classmates, only using them for his ends before moving on to that thing that was so much bigger, so much nobler. His eyes never truly met hers as they waltzed, staring through her skull, focused on his own goals, convinced he would be saving the world. She had shared the contents of the meeting with Wulf, of course, but not that wave of guilt that had surged through her for forcing her ambition onto him, collapsing in the alleyway after leaving the dancehall. He had moved on, had so many bigger things to deal with than the crimes of a single man and petty politics.

After dispatching two agents to the coast to board a ship, she was again summoned to Trent’s side with Wulf. Darktow, really Bren? The ruse had seemed so obvious from their clandestine conversation about his goal, but her master was determined to contain the leak and to Trent, no lead was worth overlooking. Trent had hissed that their next assignment was to pay a visit to that Crick loose end, since they were clearly too compromised to be trusted with more important missions. The traitor’s position was confirmed via scry to be in the heart of Eiselcross - fortuitous to be so near to Bren’s destination. Maybe after they dispatch the Shadowhand, they could seek him again, Wulf suggested, and finalize plans to rid the world of another corrupted mage.

She said to me

"Oh, Death

Come close my eyes, woah"

I know, I'm more fool than wise

Her trail goes cold a few hours after they pass through the mountain range ringing the crash site of Aeor, but they’re nearly to Kryn outpost, which was still the best place to check first. Recent reports indicated the drow was getting twitchy (reasonably so, she thought), so it came as no surprise that he had procured divination wards on his latest visit back to Ghor Dranas. Strange that he had not engaged them until after his position was reconfirmed in the frozen north, and the coincidence tickles the back of her mind. She and Wulf decide to press on towards the outpost regardless - to relay this to Trent before confirming the target’s position by eye would earn them a scathing reply.

Easily obscured by invisibility, they slip past the spires of ice ringing the Xhorhassian outpost once they arrive. After around fifteen minutes, they spot the Shadowhand as he exits his chambers and rushes to the storerooms, reemerging a few minutes later with supplies for travel and a heavier mantle. Good, it should be a simple task to take out him and whatever scouts accompany him, rather than dealing with the entire outpost. He lingers outside his chambers, discussing something with the captain of the guard too quietly to be heard from their position on the outskirts. Wulf creeps forward to listen in as she maintains her position, memorizing the guard patrols out of pure habit. She’s making a mental map of the outpost when a familiar but unexpected voice creeps in.

“It’s me… Jester-” whispers into her mind, followed by… a fit of giggles? “Hey, I don’t know if you’re alone. If.. you’re.. not-” another fit. How did Bren’s companions get anything done? “-and you’re following us…” the longest pause yet. Should she start her reply? What did the woman even want? As she opens her mouth to speak, eyes on the perimeter for any unforeseen patrols, it finally comes in. “Clear your throat,” she chokes out amid giggles, “if you’re not following us.”

“I’m so very…” lost? Disturbed? Overwhelmed by the lack of any meaningful information presented in those twenty-five words? “Confused.” She settles on. “What did you say?” Entertaining further conversation in spite of her location may not have been wise, but she couldn’t help herself, needing to know Bren’s next move.

“Sorry-” Warranted. “I need to know if you’re following us. If you know where we are. What’s the plan with you guys? Hope you’re alone! If you’re not-” the message cuts out. She rubs her temples, considering her response a moment. How to impress upon her the importance of what her party now carried with them, what she wanted them to accomplish? This was going to take more than one message, she thought, pulling her wire free from her components.

“A Volstrucker has never disentangled from Trent before. No one who knows what he does, how he breaks us, has shared their trauma with the world,” effortlessly continuing her response with another Sending, “with the king. Imagine the threat you are to him, now that you carry respect of both Crown and Kryn. So, yes,” she concludes, “he’s invested.” Was it enough? No further response.

“Who was that?” Wulf’s voice shocks her as he returns, still cloaked in his invisibility.

“Bren’s companions. The tiefling.”

“Ah,” he grunts. Lingers in silence for a moment. “Will he…?”

“I don’t know,” she admits. Glad to still be invisible, despite Wulf knowing exactly the look on her face. Probably has the same look on his. Her hand reaches out, contacting his upper arm blindly, then gives it a rub. “Later. Our target?”

“Too far, too quiet. Something about the ruin; an entrance his rangers are guarding.”

“Well then, we will have to make our move during his journey to them,” she replies, not keen on chasing this wizard into the depths of Aeor. A grunt of agreement, and they settle together, crouched on the icy ground, awaiting further movement of the traitor and his forces. A few more minutes and the guard captain nods and walks away, barking orders in Undercommon to his men, and the Shadowhand floats alone outside his door. His hand raises to knock, lowers, raises once more, then softly taps the door before opening it.

“He’s not alone in there,” Wulf interprets easily. She squints her eyes, trying to block the glare of the snow and ice to spot the reason for his hesitation, but the low-lit room gave up no secrets before the door closed behind him. Another minute and the door reopens, and neither Volstrucker notices the Shadowhand’s relaxed shoulders as he drifts out, sucking air through their teeth at the sight of who follows him.

Oh, I- I- I- I- I- I- I never wanted anything as little as I want this now

Oh, I- I- I- I- I take my pistol, gonna make you proud

“We should have known, we should have fucking known-” Wulf spits as they tail the group to the northwest, the pair’s white cloaks obscuring them well at this distance.

“Shh! Let me think.” Her words bite at her own tongue, mind racing. It was so obvious - Bren’s party spent so much time in Xhorhas, were so close to the Bright Queen herself that their word alone was enough to halt a full scale attack on the capital. Of course they would know the Shadowhand, at least know of him, and with their connection in the North from the Empire extinguished, of fucking course they would be allying with the Dynasty once more. The source of the Shadowhand’s protection from divination was now also unfortunately obvious - he had been recruited by the team to go stop the supposed end of the world.

This was going to get messy. It would be impossible to take out the Shadowhand without alerting Bren to their presence. How could they convince Bren to work alongside them to expose Trent if they ended up in battle against him? “Scheiße,” she hissed, Wulf growling in agreement.

She wondered what the Shadowhand would be getting in return for his assistance. Protection from the assassins hot on his trail? Yes, but surely this master manipulator would have gotten more out of the deal than that. The drow had fooled his entire country, betrayed his own religion, just for the sake of some arcane research.

She smirked, jaw clicking into place. That’s it. He’s a traitor to his own nation. Make him confess to it, surely Bren would want him dead as well after learning their ally was a conspirator with the Assembly, had stolen the beacons his group worked so hard to return to the Kryn. They could still make this work, and come out of Eiselcross both having completed their current mission and securing Bren, all of them, as allies in their next.

Wulf growled again, pulling her from her thoughts. Looking back at the Shadowhand, he had fallen in line with Bren and was conversing while they pressed onward, taking comfort in a glowing orb he held outside his mantle. Bren had moved in shoulder to shoulder with the drow, leaning in and wrapping his hand around the drow’s forearm in a supposed bid to get closer to the source of light. His group carried on ahead of them, saying nothing as they snuck glances back towards the pair. She felt her cheek burn where Bren had previously leaned his face on hers during their waltz. Wulf was saying something but the blood pounding in her head was far too loud.

She said to me

"Oh, Death

It's way too wet on your cheeks to be nothing"

But what does she know?

Really, what does she know?

The troupe had slowed for a short rest now, and she crept closer unthinking, Wulf trailing behind her. The cold wind whipped her hood back and pulled her light locks free, carrying snips of conversation back to them. “The- I’m sorry, the lesbians?”

“Yes, Yasha there and Expositor Lionett. They’re quite capable on the frontline, and often I find the best means of dealing damage to the enemy is through enhancing their abilities and staying out of sight. So ja, buff the lesbians.” Concluding with a pat on the Kryn’s forearm, Bren appeared to finally spot his hand’s location and jolt back, sheepish grin mirroring one she had not seen for years since she caught him and Wulf outside her dormitory door with a bottle of whisky and a proposal. That pink tint to his cheeks is visible from here, betraying his intentions so plainly. Betraying them. Betraying her.

“I- I see. Any other... tips I should be aware of?” the Shadowhand had asked, looking to the rest of the group and quickly pulling the orb back towards himself once Bren had released him, before thinking and proffering it to the others. Her own cheek stung still. To her side, Wulf reached over and too-gently touched it, rubbing away a layer of ice built up. The half-orc sat up from his resting point across from them, putting his hands towards the orb without any comment on the pair’s previous position.

“Ah, yes - while Jester is a cleric,” he intoned, leaning towards the blue tiefling gently, “try to go unconscious near Caduceus.”

“Fjord!”

“What?! You prefer a more… proactive approach to battle!”

Soothing with a hand on her shoulder, the gray firbolg also leans in and places a teapot atop the orb. “The Wildmother is interested in preserving the natural cycle of life, and if it is not your time, She will not let you pass. At least, not while I have anything to say about it.”

Bren had pulled away now, eyes softening as he looked between the drow and the rest of the group. She drew a wire from her pocket and she took a breath, steeling herself before casting Sending once more.

“Bren.” He stiffened stick-straight. “Do not be alarmed. Wulf and I are approaching your position.” She paused. “Just us. We wish to speak.” She does not trust herself to use the remaining words without stumbling.

“Caleb? Trent again? Or...” The Cobalt Soul expositor perked up, but Bren had lifted a hand to her and shook his head.

“Astrid.” Came clear into her mind as she heard the monk curse in the distance. “If it is just the two of you, please approach. I’m sure our company raises questions.” A pause of his own. “You could have told Jester you were here.”

Overlapping Bren’s voice, Wulf whispers, “What are you doing?” but she’s already stood tall and pushed her hair from her eyes.

“Just trust me.”

Oh, I- I- I- I- I never wanted it to be this way

Oh, you know I- I- I- I hold on to everything you say

“Shadowhand to the Bright Queen, Essek Thelyss. Please meet my, ah, associates Astrid and Eadwulf of the Dwendalian Empire.” Bren gestures. They had all stood as the Volstrucker approached, remaining in their previous circle, but the halfling had drawn her crossbow from her hip and the dark woman had also unsheathed a gleaming blade.

Careful with his words, as if his present company could be spooked like a horse, the Shadowhand spoke with low, smooth tones. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” His eyes betrayed his tone, flitting towards each of Bren’s group in turn. “To what do we owe this visit?”

She smiled coolly. “There is no need for deception here, Herr Thelyss. In fact, it would benefit us all to be forthright. You needn’t pretend this is our first encounter.”

These words should have shook the Kryn to the core, so blunt and expository, the jaws of her trap slowly ratcheting open. His demeanor had not shifted, however, as Bren glanced between the two. “Fair enough, Madam Beck.” The Nein jumped slightly at this, far more than her initial reveal. Had Bren never shared her last name with his companions? “And Mister Grieve, I assume you are well?”

“Well enough in this frozen waste,” was Wulf’s gruff reply, arms crossed to the left and slightly behind her, but within her field of view.

“Then please, join our circle,“ came Bren’s voice, shaking surely due to the cold. She stepped forward at the invitation, and took the space to his other side, the halfling stepping aside but cautiously keeping a hand on the base of her crossbow. “Come now, Veth, there’s no need for that among friends.” Wulf stepped through the circle, taking a position next to the firbolg he liked so much during that dinner before. “We have plenty to share, and I’m sure they do as well.”

Bren always had such a way with words, she thought. Certainly better than Wulf, a perfect voice to tug at one’s heartstrings. He could say so much with so little. If there is any love left between us, cursing his words as they came back to her. Perhaps he was even greater a manipulator than the spymaster to his right. Plenty of love was left, it seemed, but how much belonged to her?

“Ohmigosh Astrid, we are so happy to see you! Why didn’t you say you were close before? We could have been traveling together this whole time!“ the tiefling bubbled, a little too enthusiastically. She was no fool.

“My apologies, Jester.” She gave another cool smile, then directed her gaze around Bren to settle on the drow once more. “There were matters we had to confirm before we could make our presence known to you and Bren.” He stiffened alongside Bren, glancing down at the other wizard with a question in his eyes, and her smile turned slightly more predatory. “Herr Thelyss, might I inquire as to your business in Eiselcross? Seeking additional Beacons, I presume?”

The level of confusion did not rise in the group as she expected, however. The Shadowhand’s eyes narrowed and turned back to her as she pressed further. “Had the Martinet not already promised to share our research?”

“Astrid.”

Bren stepped forward, blocking her line of sight to the Kryn.

“Caleb, please.” A dark hand touched his shoulder (how dare he, her fingers twitched), pushing the man back towards his previous position. “Madam Beck,” he continued, “your insinuations would be quite dangerous in almost any circle but this one.” His shoulders back, he lifted slightly higher off the ground. “I am not interested in being toyed with. Clearly you were sent to dispose of me, so go ahead. Complete your business. But do not waste my friends’ time with your attempts to reveal that which is no longer concealed from them.”

He knew? Bren fucking knew? They all knew what this man had done and walked out into a frozen hellhole with him? Showed him trust, and affection of all things? Her mind swam, staring her target in his face as she searched for any fracture, any sign of weakness. He can’t possibly have told them everything. How could they forgive him for starting the war they had foolishly pledged to end on their own? How could Bren trust him, but not-

“It’s true, Astrid.” Bren said softly in that verdammt voice. “We caught on before the peace talks out at sea. Lord Dezran Thain,” he gave the honorific a teasing lilt, “was a bit too careless. He should not have chosen to be a lord in a city in which he did not know of its main attraction.” He smiled towards Jester.

“Yeah, I don’t know of a single person from Nicodranas who doesn’t know my mamma. Sorry Essek,” she winked at him. He gave an awkward smile in response. Silence hung over the group for a moment.

Wulf finally piped up again. “Well, you’re correct that we were here to kill the Shadowhand.” The group quickly tightened at his words, apart from the firbolg who still stood beside him casually, focused on making tea in that pot on top of the orb. “But... how we do that now is a mystery to me.” His lazy glance cast over her, then Bren, then narrowing briefly on the traitor. He gave a shrug as he unceremoniously sat in the snow. “So let’s talk.”

“Yes, I think there’s much to discuss,” the firbolg said, pulling the now-warm pot from the orb and beginning to pour cups. He smiled towards her sympathetically, somehow looking through her and reaching across the circle with a mug before sitting back and offering another to Wulf. She took it delicately, glancing at the pattern of soft petals on a dark branch.

As the other cups were passed out and the group slowly sat back down, Wulf popped open his flask and poured his whisky into the cup until it reached the brim, then capped it and flicked it across the circle to her. Barely looking up from the cup, she caught the flask mid-air with practiced precision, choosing to take a swig from it directly rather than sullying the tea. A calloused hand with blackened fingertips entered her view from the left as she tilted her head back down. Requesting, but not demanding. Too kind, too tender, and it made her heart ache as the liquor burned her throat. Not meeting his eyes, she passed the flask along.

“Prost.”

Oh, k- k- k- k- k- keep your pity to yourself

Oh, I'll make you wish that you didn't love someone else

[wolf-zer0]

Ya want some WORLD-BUILDING????

Have some world-building!

*REMINDER* This is based on characters, not real people.  I’m not going to be writing any shipping/smut content, especially involving minors.  Please be respectful of content creators’ boundaries!

The Crystallos Empire (AKA the Antarctic Empire)

Largest the countries (takes up most of the southern half of the map) but agreed to stop expansion after a bloody battle with Valeriana 

Centered on a large snowy mountain in the middle of the tundra 

Mostly stays out of other countries’ business, but will step in as a last resort 

Has some of the most well-known citizens in the world because… they’re pure chaos 

Attack at your own peril 

Has vast deposits of ores and gemstones, and the metalwork from Crystallos (mainly weaponry, armor, and jewelry) is highly sought after 

The only known food export is potatoes.  Wonder why… 

Associated Colors: Royal blue, light blue, crimson, gold 

Aesthetic/Vibes: gothic vibes, white stone and large stain glass windows, not particularly opulent or extravagant but still impressively royal looking, think catholic cathedral but brighter and with less Jesus (can you tell I’m a recovering catholic yet?), spires shooting into the sky that’s visible even during a blizzard, cavernous halls full of sunlight and echoes, snow that can comfort and kill in equal measure

Notable Members:

Philza Minecraft:

Angel

Visible wings look like a harpy eagle

Probably the most powerful person in the world

Didn’t mean to start an empire it kinda just happened

Also didn’t mean to adopt kids but his Dadza alarm went off

Usually kind but will not hesitate to use violence when necessary

Technoblade: 

Is pig.  

With braid.  

At least 8 feet all

Extremely adept fighter, skilled in almost every form of combat.  

Not a people pig, prefers his potato farm to being a prince

Hella protective of his family but will not hesitate to bully when given the opportunity

Wilbur Soot: 

Muse who can influence people through song

Can’t totally control people (yet) but can subtly push them in a certain direction

The public face of the imperial family

Would rather insult than fight but can and will cut a bitch if he needs to

Because inspiration is fickle he’ll have some … strange episodes (see: the Sand Incident)

Tommy Innit: 

Child.  

Chaos incarnate.

Is he human?  Is he not?  No one’s sure yet.  

But he’s a gremlin and a hellion and willing to throw down at any moment.  

Has a surprisingly caring side, but no one outside his immediate circle has ever really seen it.  

The Kingdom of Valeriana (aka Dream SMP)

Oldest of the countries 

Located in the middle of a massive forest at the center of the main continent 

Home of the Fae Courts

Ruled by a single king who is chosen by a tournament held every 100 years 

Known for causing chaos in other countries, but after an Incident with Crystallos they have kept their meddling to annoyances rather than outright declarations of war 

Considered the most magical of all the countries, and traditional enchantments almost all come from Valeriana 

Associated Colors: neon green (duh), bright yellow, forest green, light brown, blood red (more saturated than Crystallos), rose gold 

Aesthetic/Vibes: spooky art nouveau (idk what else to call it), lots of plants and nature but with an edge of danger, poison gardens and carnivorous plants, hedge mazes that lead everywhere and nowhere, laughter deep in the forest, deer with eyes just a hair too human, Alice in Wonderland on steroids 

Notable Members: 

Dream: 

Current king of the Fae

As long as he’s touching the ground, he knows where everything and everyone is

Can terraform

Unlimited in the boundaries of his kingdom

Much more limited outside of his realm

No one has ever seen what he really looks like, even before he took the throne

Since people outside the kingdom don’t know who he is, he’ll wander the outside world and challenge random people to fights

Never says what happens to the losers

Only one person has ever beaten him: Technoblade

He might have a lil obsession around Techno, but it’s fine.  

A little competition is healthy.

Sapnap:  

High Lord of the Summer Court

Dream’s right hand man

Likes fire a little too much probably

George: 

Human that Dream took a liking too and yoinked from the mortal world

Dream and Sapnap made him immortal but he hasn’t realized it yet.  

Skeppy: 

Changeling who started growing diamond-like scales across his body

Is vaguely allied with Dream simply because he’s Fae, but is more loyal to BBH

Like a lot of other Fae, likes to make challenges but he makes them less deadly.  Not totally safe, just less deadly.

Badboyhalo: 

Demon who was kicked out of hell because he was too nice

Found Skeppy in the Overworld and the rest is history

Cursed by the Demon King that the moment he says a swear word, the entire world would end, but can never tell anyone that he is cursed

The Merchant’s Guild

Not quite a country, more of a international power 

Oversees the largest and most important businesses in the world 

Makes sure that no laws are broken between different countries and everyone gets a fair shake 

Has a very large reach, so some members have dabbled in espionage for various groups 

From the outside it looks like the whole thing is kept together with duct tape and hope, but its actually pretty functional

The main members are just… a lot. 

More concerned with keeping things working than influencing other nations (although there are still jokes about it) 

The most valuable thing they trade in is information

They have a lot of fingers in a lot of pots, but are trusted with their information 

Associated Colors: dark blue, teal, deep yellow, burnt orange, copper

Aesthetic/Vibes: art deco babie, angles and lines, very modern and streamlined, sleek suits instead of armor or robes, whiskey in a crystal glass, wars won by words not weapons, knowing when someone’s lying without them saying a word

Notable Members:

Schlatt: 

Ram-man with a plan

Not that bad of a dude, but is in a position where he is constantly in possession of highly sensitive information and that does things to someone’s mental state

Drinks pretty regularly but not a full blown alcoholic

Trying his best

Can be a snarky asshole sometimes

Quackity: 

Lucky duck.  literally.  

Duck man with an uncanny ability to absorb good luck from people (typically Fundy) and apply it to himself

No one knows when or why he joined the guild, but now he’s there

Pretty damn smart, but hides it behind humor

Fundy: 

FOX!  

With BEANS!

Trying his goddamn best but life (and Quackity) make it very difficult

Usually is stuck with the shit end of the stick when getting jobs/contracts/etc. 

Wilbur being his dad is an inside joke that’s gotten a life of its own.  

(No Fishfuckers Allowed!!!)

Puffy: 

Badass sheep lady who captains a ship and commands her own armada

Schlatt’s sister

Also part of Storm’s Landing’s council and acts as the main liaison between them 

Do not fuck with her she will kick your ass.

Storm’s Landing

Port city that became a country after becoming a safe-haven for seafarers

Led by a council of important people, with the head of the council known as the Admiral 

Closest ties to Crystallos and the Merchant’s guild because: 

1) Clingy supremacy!!!!

2) it’s a good idea for a guild to have good ties with a large sea power

3) all the dads for Tubbo

Associated Colors: navy blue, scarlet, white, brass 

Aesthetic/Vibes: Nautical (obviously) with heavy “Age of Exploration” vibes, barnacles crusted on treasure chests, think tall ships and pirates and shit, respecting the ocean because holy shit she’s gonna smash your boat to pieces on a whim because she can, has an edge of darkness because when you go deep enough who knows what you’ll find down there (maybe mermaids???) 

Notable Members:

CaptainSparklez: 

elected to Admiral after the previous Admiral went missing on a routine voyage 

(idk who it used to be, I just wanted to make him new at leading)

not 100% sure about the whole thing, but handling it pretty okay

still answers to “Captain” instead of “Admiral”.  

Niki:

If Storm’s Landing had a queen, would be it unquestionably

Never gets robbed even though there’s a well known “underbelly” in town

Could probably end wars with her croissants

Has a significant history of empathic abilities in her family, so she can tell how people are feeling at all times

Eret: 

Owns a magic store in town that really only shows itself to people who need it.  

Having a bad mental health day?  

He’s got a warm blanket and a cup of your favorite warm beverage waiting.  

Dysphoric?  

She’s got the perfect outfit and affirming words already prepared.  

Trying to find that specific book but can’t remember the title or plot, only vaguely know the color of the cover?  

They’ve got it.  

Ranboo:  

Not sure why he decided to move to a seaside city when he’s not chill with water, but now he’s here and he’s too anxious to leave

Known for teleporting around town randomly when nervous, and the people who find him are always willing to let a hand if he gets lost

Tubbo: 

This boi!  Has so many dads!  

Epitome of “Kindness does not equal weakness.”  

While a lot of people underestimate him, he’s not some fragile little flower

He hasn’t fully grown into his ability to speak to animals (he can only understand bees right now)

He’s just as much of a shit stirrer as Tommy.  

When they meet up, look out.  Something’s getting destroyed.

The Astral Academy

An independent university focused on advancing knowledge in the arcane arts and engineering 

Not a country, but has the political power of one due to their vast resources and building prowess 

People can’t enter unless they are invited or have been given entry as a student 

There are a bunch of potential doors scattered around the continent that could lead to the Academy, but no one is sure where the real entrance is 

Associated Colors: royal purple, lilac, sepia, sky blue, silver, bronze Aesthetic/Vibes: bright academia, massive libraries with bookshelves stuffed to bursting, workshop benches covered in scrap and prototypes, open air observatories, runes waiting to be translated, the crackling energy that comes from successful collaboration, falling down a research rabbit hole, bursting with pride after a project is a success

Notable Members: 

Sam

Purpled

Ponk

Punz

Antfrost

Jack Manifold

I don’t know much about these characters, so if you have any ideas please let me know!

Zero’s OC Land - The North Haven

Smallest and newest country 

Recently gained independence from under a cruel dictator (not schlatt lol)

Located in a pine forest at the base of a huge mountain range 

Has pretty good relations with the other countries, but outsiders don’t know much about them 

Main exports are wood carvings and leather goods 

Associated Colors: Maroon, dark brown, black, pewter 

Aesthetic/Vibes: medieval but with a modern twist, dark wood lit by a roaring fireplace, snow-covered woods without a living soul in sight, half timber houses and detailed wood carving, no outrageous ornamentation or extravagance 

Notable Members:

Tyr: 

Lord of the North Haven

trying to keep his people safe and protected

one of the few remaining Spirits (higher in power than the Fae, but lower than angels)

Spirit of Justice

lost a hand in the war for North Haven’s independence

didn’t want to become the leader but does a pretty good job at it

Adopted 5 kids and is trying his best

Bragi: 

Heir Apparent

24 year old human

can influence the world by speaking (not singing) but has to be careful about which words he uses

has a book full of phrases that have proven effects (a spellbook of sorts)

has a friendly rivalry with Wilbur

Freya: 

Spymaster

actually the oldest but abdicated because she feels she’s not the right person to lead a country

age unknown because she’s the last known [REDACTED] (it’ll be revealed, but I wanna build suspense)

has gyrfalcon wings and heightened senses

chronic insomniac

Forseti: 

Official Librarian

20 years old

hybrid with an unknown entity

has black fingers with sharp claws

always wears gloves to hide them

can create portals to places he’s been or to people he knows (the second is much riskier, but not impossible)

knowledge sponge

wants to join the Astral Academy but is too nervous to apply

Odin: 

Older Twin

The “Sensible One”

17 years old

Has an uncanny sense of direction

Can’t get lost no matter what

Can manipulate magnetic fields

Loki:

Younger Twin

The “Hot Headed One”

17 years old

can manipulate fire

idolizes his older siblings, particularly Freya

The Institute

Creeping around in the background

Up to bad things

Something’s going on in the world, but no one’s noticed yet

They will though… soon

Aesthetic/Vibes: minimalism (the worst kind of vibes imo), think laboratories or empty hospitals, harsh artificial lights and cold floors, labyrinths of monotonous hallways with no doors

[sokkascroptop]

traitor. (sokka x f!reader) pt 4

A/N: ensue cute lil fight scene; this is short but the next part is... v long >:)

part 1 | part 3 | part 5

And then there were three. 

Zuko met Y/N on the steps away from the house. He had a single bag slung over his shoulder. Birds chirped off in the distance and if Y/N really listened she could hear the ocean slapping against the sand. 

“I’m glad I don’t have to convince you that coming back is the right thing to do.” The corner of her mouth turned up. This was the first time she had directly addressed him in three years. “Where’s Iroh?” Y/N asked. 

Zuko picked at his tunic. He had yet to meet her eyes.“He’s not coming.”

Y/N’s eyebrows shot up. Azula said that Zuko and Iroh had been inseparable since Zuko’s banishment. She couldn’t go back to the ship with only one of the captives.  “What do you mean?” 

Zuko sent a look back to the house and started down the stairs that led down the mountain. “Let’s get going.”

Y/N huffed out through her nose and jogged to catch up with Zuko who’s pace was frighteningly fast down the steep stone stairs. “Why doesn’t Iroh want to come back?” 

He kept his eyes trained on the ground as he answered. “He says he’s never known my father to regret anything.”

“I was there when he told Azula. He does.” The lie slipped off her tongue easily. 

Zuko’s eyes widened and he stopped in his tracks. He didn’t say anything but his eyes asked the question his mouth couldn’t form: Really?

He’d always wanted to make his father proud, ever since they were children. Even after all that the Fire Lord had done to him, he was still so desperate for his approval. 

Y/N spoke the words she’d practiced in the mirror before heading up the mountain. “It’s very important to him that you come home, Zuko.” Y/N couldn’t stomach another lie. And technically, this one wasn’t a lie. It was a half-truth. It was important to the Fire Lord that Zuko go back to the Fire Nation, even if it was under the guise that he’d be welcomed back with fanfare. 

Zuko turned to look out at the sea of cherry-blossom trees and rocks to the ship on the water. The ship that he thought was god-sent. 

“Wait! Don’t leave without me!” Iroh shouted as he came down the stairs. 

“Uncle,” Zuko beamed up at him. “you’ve changed your mind.”

“Family sticks together, right?” Iroh asked as he placed a hand on Zuko’s shoulder. 

“We’re finally going home,” Zuko murmured under his breath in amazement. 

The sight of them both staring out onto the water made Y/N bite her lip. She wanted to tell them that they needed to turn back and run but she kept her mouth shut. It was her duty.

“Finally going home,” Iroh repeated as Zuko stepped away and resumed heading down the mountain. He looked to Y/N who worked to keep her face neutral. He didn’t look as fooled by her as Zuko was. 

In front of them the guards lined up on either side of the dock. They stood at attention with their traditional helmets and masks on. Y/N walked ahead, they were almost home free; just a few more steps before she hit the ramp. She walked to stand next to the ship’s captain as Azula addressed them. She was smiling at her victory already.

“Brother, Uncle, welcome” Azula bowed deeply which Iroh and Zuko returned. “I’m so glad you decided to come.”

The captain faced Y/N and nodded at her to go up the ramp first. Excitement burned in her chest as she squinted through the sun at Azula and made her way back to the ship. 

“Are we ready to depart, your highness?” The captain asked. 

“Set our course for home, Captain.”

“You heard the Princess! Raise the anchors,” the captain shouted from behind her. “We’re taking the prisoners home.”

Y/N had just reached Azula. Their faces mirrored one another from shock to outrage. Y/N whirled around on the captain who looked like he wanted to die on the spot. “You idiot,” she growled. She landed a swift kick to his stomach, effectively pushing him off the ramp and into the water. Her cheeks heated up in anger. Had he just shut up, Zuko and Iroh would be on the ship and in cuffs down below deck. It would have been easy for Y/N to get over her guilt about capturing them if she didn’t have to look in their eyes and face them. Now there was going to be a fight. 

Iroh had already turned on the guards around him, dodging fireballs and knocking them into the water with the grace of a much younger man. 

There was no one between Zuko and Y/N on the ramp. Y/N still hadn’t pulled her sword. It wouldn’t have been much good against his firebending anyways. “You lied to me!” he bellowed. His eyes burned into hers like he was shooting flames out of them. Y/N felt like she couldn’t use her voice, it had suddenly disappeared between the mountain and the dock. 

It didn’t matter, Azula assumed he was talking to her and answered for Y/N. “Like I’ve never done that before.” She grabbed Y/N’s arm and wrenched her back onto the ship, leaving Zuko to fight the guards that had just been flanking her. Azula gave her a little push to the upper deck and when she removed her hand Y/N realized her arm was burning where Azula touched her. She was geared up for a fight all along. 

Zuko’s anger fueled his fight. He stood on one foot and kicked one guard in the chest and punched the other, flames cracking as they left his hands and feet. Y/N stood on the upper deck watching it all unfold below her. Zuko ignited two knife-like flames from his hands. Azula’s back was still to him and Y/N knew immediately that whatever Zuko had planned was no match for Azula’s fight.  

“Zuko! Let’s go!” Iroh shouted from the dock. 

He ignored his uncle and began attacking Azula with fervor. He punched and kicked and sliced with his fire but each strike just missed Azula by a hair. She weaved around him like cat-snake in the reeds. She blocked a downstroke and pushed him away. 

“You know Father blames Uncle for the loss of the North Pole,” she taunted. “And he considers you a miserable failure for not finding the Avatar. Why would he want you back home except to lock you up where you can no longer embarrass him.” For a moment, Y/N thought that Zuko might surrender, or at least run from Azula and her guards. 

Instead he attacked again. 

Just as before, Azula evaded every strike and she had yet to throw any fire against Zuko. But Y/N was sure that wasn’t because she didn’t want to hurt him, she was just waiting for the right moment. They slowly made their way up the ramp to the upper deck. Y/N held her ground, she wasn’t afraid of a little heat. 

Suddenly Azula grabbed Zuko’s wrist, Zuko tried to jerk away at the last second, knowing what she was going to do, but she held fast. She shot a line of blue fire just over his head as he rolled backwards down the ramp. Y/N caught his expression when he landed in a crouch. Shock. He’d never seen her make blue fire before.

Zuko was still as Azula swirled her arms around her body creating a circle of energy. Lightning crackled around her, ready to be released. 

“Azula, don’t!” Y/N yelled. She didn’t know what made her do it but Y/N couldn’t watch as Azula killed her brother with that stupid fucking lightning. 

Her voice was enough to make Azula falter. The lightning faded for a moment before coming back stronger than before. Y/N drew her sword and started towards Azula unsure of what she was going to do to stop Azula, but Iroh got there first. As she pointed her lighting at Zuko, Iroh grasped her hand and Y/N watched in horror. Surely he would die from that. 

But he didn’t. Azula’s lightning traveled through his body and out his other hand straight into the side of the cliff, exploding rocks everywhere. He had redirected it. He twisted Azula’s arm around and kicked her in the chest, over the edge of the ship.

And then there were three. 

Y/N was caught in a stare down between the two men. She, the only non-bender on the Agni-damned ship, was the only one left standing to fight. But...Y/N realized she didn’t want to fight them. Any adrenaline she’d mustered up to go to battle evaporated. Slowly, without taking her eyes off of them, she let the tip of her sword fall. She watched as Iroh helped a still stunned Zuko to his feet and together they ran off the ship and into the cherry blossom forest. She swore Iroh had thrown a wink back in her direction...

Later, Y/N would tell herself that it was all a defense tactic; that the only reason she let them go was because she didn’t stand a chance against two fire-benders, one of them being the Dragon of the West, a man who could redirect lightning. She would absolutely deny any claim that she let them go because she didn’t want to see either of them imprisoned. That was absolutely untrue. 

A/N: how do we feel about Y/N lying to Zuko’s face? Letting Iroh and Zuko go? 

[djmarinizelablog]

Levihan, Fluff 11? Please, again? Lol

#11.) Levihan, Fluff: “I know it’s 2 in the morning but do you want to…” I think I was drunk when I wrote this draft, so, uhm, my apologies.

Summary: Levi is dead, dead, dead, and he is very, very confused. Crack fic, beware.

Rating: M

Only the Good Stories Remain

Levi thinks he’s a goner; his butt has been kicked by that stupid monkey because Zeke—fucking—Yeager pulled the pin of the thunderspear. Waiting sure makes revenge more satisfying. He wants to say, “A shithead like you has no one on your side.” He wants to chop him up with the Executioner from Hell and feed him to the dogs of Marley. Like bad boys with their bad toys, because sticks and stones may break his bones but whips and chains excite him. Zackley is in the corner, using his torture device on Pixis and Nile. Once he’s done, the Prime Commander sets them all on fire, and Levi thinks this is okay. Hands off, Chief. If Zackley ever touches his face, Levi’s gonna break his bones. He almost had it all, but what they gave him was his angst. He is just the right kind of lost, like a sour, wrinkly grape waiting to rot. It’s him, a painful death, and all the heroic stories in between. But heroism is also a deadly flaw. Like hubris or vanity or snorting soap suds to calm him down. That’s why he thinks he should do away with it. There is something wrong about him so he looks down and sees himself naked. His nose twitches. Somebody comes up to him and grunts, “Fancy, huh?” He glances to the side and sees Farlan and Isabel. They’re cleaning and scrubbing every inch of him. “The fuck you’re doing?” Isabel laughs and splashes an entire bucket of tea onto him, upset that he’s held it the wrong way all these years. He stares down the cup and sees his reflection: it’s a sad blob of smoke and blood. The handle is more fragile than his ego. Behind him, his horse is whinnying; it’s wild and free and the next thing it does is a somersault in the air with his ODM gear. It spins in the air, just like what he does when he’s slashing at Titans in full rage. And then the horse transforms into Erwin without notice. There's no mistaking that blond hair, blue eyes and eyebrows thick as worms. “Erwin, what the hell?” The Commander is running to him with a huge pastry the size of his thigh. “I’m here to keep you high.” He turns around and sees Erwin covered in cream and chocolate. “Surprise, I’m the pastry.” Levi is disgusted and his face does not hide it. But he still wants to bite it even though he might choke on that. It probably tastes like wild berries and bratwurst. Or beef jerky. And all that Levi does is imagine. Pretend he’s not a 30-year-old man who hangs out with teenagers because all his friends are dead. It’s like when they say the history is written by the winners—stories don’t grow in Paradis; they come out of Marley’s ass. Put that on loop and you’ll get a new season. Out of nowhere, Mike keeps on sniffing him; he doesn’t know why but he knows he smells of grapefruit and mint. The next thing he knows is Mike sneezing like it’s the end of the world. He keeps wheezing until Wall Maria falls once again, and then it topples over Sina and Rose. “Oh my god,” Sina blurts out from the afterlife. “Did you mean goddesses?” Rose flips her hair and winks. Oh my us, indeed. Next to him, Nanaba is laughing out loud. She’s a blonde version of Levi, but her hair makes her look like a banana. Maybe that’s why her name is like that. He believes blondies on board do the trick; they’ve all developed a kink for napes. It’s an awkward question if he asks her to confirm that. But he’s waiting for secrets to come out. Blondies should die their hair a different color so people don’t think they’re dumb. And now Levi’s tired because all of his rabid fangirls are trying to ship him with anyone and everyone; he doesn't have enough holes for that. He wants to strangle them all with his cravat. But nobody really dies a virgin because life fucks them all. He’d rather break their bones because they have 213 of those. Nothing here makes sense, he says, seeing Kenny and Kuchel run around chasing knives. His mother is angry at Kenny for raising Levi like a homeless rabbit. So she skins her own brother alive with a backhand grip. And now they’re even, his Ackerman clan. Maybe it’s all about riding out the pain. Or just getting high. It’s a shit show. “Heya, midget!

Shit happens, right?” Kenny spits out the apple seeds from his mouth. “Don’t listen to him, baby.” His mother puts a finger on her lips, but Levi says, "I'm not a baby anymore." He might be growing old but he refuses to grow up and the dead just keep popping out of the dark like daisies. Lynne and Henning are beside Gelgar chugging mugs and mugs of beer. Bizarre and off the wall. He’s mad because nobody gave him an invitation to drink. And now the drinks are on him. Somebody’s throwing up in the back, it might be Kenny or his mother. But it’s actually Sasha, who choked on an entire potato because it wouldn’t fit inside her mouth. She throws up and all kinds of titans come out of her mouth. But they don’t eat anyone; instead they just crawl to the ground with their faces flat in the mud like Rod Reiss did. Even Rod Reiss says hi but Levi doesn’t give a shit. He can keep his face down in shit for all he cares. It’s like dreaming that he’s Historia and Eren is the person who got her pregnant. There’s too much riding and moaning for horny kids and he’s only got sore joints and eyebags from being a veteran. Petra is spanking Oluo for imitating him again. Watch her back; it might break again. The girl acts like a wife to this copycat avocado. Everything is like fish sauce and gin; they don’t make sauce but you still want to hear about it. Gunther is doing bondage with the harnesses, and it excites him, but now he doesn’t know how to free himself from it. “O Captain, My Captain,” Eld says, as if he’s reciting some lines out of a play or a poem. But that does not stop him because Levi cannot appreciate art. He thinks art is for fuckers who think they’ve achieved something good in life. Why be normal when he can be fab? He’d rather be something than nothing. Erwin’s voice is booming. “Do you believe in it?” His bolo tie is slipping. “Do you, do you, do you?” Erwin’s voice keeps repeating: do you, do you, do you, do you, until Levi himself finally has had enough and says, “Fuck this, get out of my head.”

“...Levi?”

Hange is looking at him. There’s no one else around. It’s just them, a bonfire, a tent, splintered wood, and a cart of supplies in the forest, and he’s fucking naked and there are bandages around his face.

Oh, and his fingers are missing.

“We’re all good here, right?”

Hange nods, slowly. “I know it’s 2 in the morning but do you want to…”

“What?”

“...Maybe rest some more?” Hange puts their hands on his shoulders and gently pushes him down the mat.

It’s like camping. In the midst of war. And they’re out here, roasting marshmallows with his hand that has two less fingers. But he’ll be fine, who knows?

Then the cart explodes right behind them.