#the shadowhunter fics made me SO soft | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

alexanderlightweight · 2 years ago

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*Wednesday is subjective and can last up to 36 hours due to insomnia. Wednesday starts on Wednesday and ends when the author passes out sometime later.

The Rules + Notes

Only Malec prompts accepted

It’s okay to prompt another chapter for an existing fic, even the oneshots. There is a chance i won’t be able to or want to fill it, but i’m always willing to consider. Just be polite.

I write a lot of dark stuff, so feel free to specify if you want to avoid something or want something specific.

I really do enjoy just the fun of building a fic from a single word, but I’m also happy to try and tackle any longer and more complex prompts.

If your prompt isn’t filled the week it’s sent it, I’m still going to write it. I always respond to an ask to explain why I won’t fill it if I’m not going to.

If I can’t/wont fill a prompt, I’ll post it and explain and say it’s okay to send another.

prompts are only open on writing wednesdays or if i specify otherwise (this was changed because of how many prompts i get easy wednesday and thats the specific prompt day)

feel free to ask me if i've got your prompt but please know it sometimes takes time to get to all of them and I write verses based on the mood I’m in

I don’t post all of my fic fills to ao3 but I do try to do about half of them. Posting takes a lot of spoons and I generally end up adding more to the fics when I post them so it takes a bit.

I want it very clear that I do this because it’s fun and healthy for me and everyone who prompts is super sweet and I don’t do it to get feedback from prompters (but I always enjoy it)! It's really just worth it to me for the expression of shared art. Because I wouldn’t write half of the fun stories I love creating and exploring without the prompts from others to tickle my thoughts.

However, my partner and I are very protective about my mental health and I have social anxiety to the degree that I sometimes still need my handheld after strangers talk to me so I don't go rolling into a blanketball and scream.

If you are rude, I will sic my boyfriend @saeths (who is an asshole) on you and they will happily come down like a blistering gust of burning wind from an out of control wildfire. Seriously, they think it’s fun to fuck with people and they’re very protective. {i have npd and a lack of acceptable targets -saeth}

They would enjoy it, except the part where it made me upset.

So don’t make me upset and I won’t set saeth on anyone.

Also saeth and i tend to flirt in posts on our blogs back and forth. so if you don’t want to see that because you’re here for fics and want to avoid it the tag is always ‘saeth & kitten’

- Lumine

The Author likes to write

darkly!soft romance

magical realism & magical flora and fauna

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat (3DNE)

Magnus/Cat/Ragnor friendship

Exploring the eldritch and angelic natures of nephilim and the fallen divinity of greater demons

Alec’s Institute and shadowhunters being competent

creature!character fics

soulmates

The Author won't write

non-con/rape

cheating

major character death

hurt no comfort

sad endings

any main pairing besides malec

mpreg/kidfic

camille centric fics

non-magical mundane/shadowhunters inverted au’s

Verse List (under cut)

this eldritch delight – soft-horror malec (Alec is the Trueblood heir, Addams Inspired)

star eater – sentient!shadow Alec Trueblood au

the agony of living – chronic!pain alec

Elysiums Tears – Alec is cursed with visions of the future(s)

all your cracks I’ll paint gold – deruned Alec

the bonds i'd break – all your cracks i'll paint gold au

in his wake, petals fall – Alec loves flowers and Magnus loves indulging him

cider verse – Alec and Magnus are in a secret relationship since before canon

pray to the hunters – Alec worships dead shadowhunters instead of Raziel

the price of lust – Manipulative dark Magnus

a stolen blade – assassin!alec au soulmates

dressed to kill – mob!wife Alec

flames of triumph – Phoenix Magnus & unicorn Alec

ripples of magic – Sentient Institute & wards

in the light of the night – Alec hunts circle members to feed the angelic core

the core of me belongs to you – Alec is the institute

rituals & souls – Magnus summons an alec for himself after meeting the possibility of him

to find, to yield – power imbalance, dominion magic

the frost of fury – competent Alec takes no shit in his institute

to break with fate – the circle wins

all my fears forgotten – alec has amnesia

like real people do – dragon!alec

saint & sinners – shadowhunter!magnus & mentor/mentee

hoarfrost kiss on lips aflame – nephilim are more eldritch than mundane and it presents in the most chilling of ways

heartbeat like fire – sentinel!magnus & guide!alec

spoils of war – Alec is a political hostage disguised as a groom

devotion across worlds – Alec Trueblood (sentient shadows) is summoned to another universe and mistaken as an angel

marriage of inconvenience – Magnus marries Alec to save him from marrying Clary

running from my dreams – alec has to work through past trauma when the Institute is poisoned

walls of adoration, claws of desperation – Magnus and Alec are pre-canon secret relationship. alec is older in this fic, he's 7 years older than izzy and was raised by trueblood grandparents

bleed for desire – Magnus is king of the east coast and happily steps in to take care of newly born vampire Alec

art of obsession – au of bleed for desire (instead alec ends up falling into Edom and Magnus decides to keep him there for a bit and go on vacation for a bit)

your heart is full of jewels – alec is mistaken by mundanes as a sugar baby

an extension of you – alec is known as belonging to magnus' and that means something for downworlders

not all that glitters is gold – dragon!magnus with a lot of kink and monsterfucking

for you the world will burn – maryse isn't a good person, but she is a good mother and that is sometimes the more dangerous combinations

finders keepers – alec ends up in another universe and that magnus decides to keep him

feral sweetness, like honeycomb – incompetent shadowhunter and Alec deals with them and Magnus is there watching *its how they meet

soulfire – magnus summons another magnus bane to help him save his soulmate. magnus/alec/magnus

flames so cold they shatter – alec gets the lightwood family gift and remains the lightwood heir... and the only lightwood left

to tremble from your gaze – BDSM verse, dom!magnus and sub!alec

the craft of adoration– alec manipulates his way into magnus' arms

the most fragile of poisons – magnus pretends to be a damsel in distress, aka enjoying overprotective alec

undertow – kelpie!alec au with accidental courtship and BDSM

the treasure of kings – alec and magnus aren't impressed to find that lilith's son takes after his mother (aka wants to bang a lightwood)

the same sky – malec time travel to back a few years before canon, both of them

a warlock's hoard – a/b/o universe, omega/omega malec

to be or knot to be – a/b/o universe, alpha/alpha malec (look it was punny, i couldn't knot use it)

the worth of a life – asmodeus asks for the parabatai bond instead of magnus' magic to save jace

the desecration of souls – lilith has a claim to alec as her son thanks to valentine's experiments

the bonds i'd break – au of 'all your cracks i'll paint gold' where alec takes a chance and steal leaves nephilim/shadowhunter society but keeps his runes

guided by my unchained heart – alec resigns from the institute when jace is made hoti and goes to magnus

the taste of his magic – dragon!alec and magnus (he can shift into a cat) meet because alec can't keep his claws off of magnus' garden

(i'm trying to add some stuff but saeth will come back and fix it!)

#malec #shadowhunters #prompt request #writing wednesday #long post #request rules #art by saeth #lumine writes #lumine rants about words #writing wednesdays

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imherongraystairstrash · 2 years ago

Note

Really?? Yayy!! Although its going to crush me , have you already started writing it? Can you share a line?

I can do better than a line! I can post the entire thing, since I've finished it already! I'll warn you that it very long hahaa and i'm definitely gonna write more about this, with other characters, but I'm starting with the characters that I simply couldn't ignore writing about. I think this goes without saying THAT THERE ARE MAJOR SPOILERS FOR CHOT IN THE POST SO IF YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED IT (or at least made it to the intermissionPLEASE DO NOT READ IT!!!!!

You Were Bigger Than The Whole Sky

(aka the first time I knew what I was going to name the fic before I started writing it. Also, thanks Taylor!)

...

They happened to have been in the middle of questioning when all of a sudden they heard numerous shouts coming from outside. Cecily, who was sitting with Gabriel in the front row of the pews (having left Alexander with Sophie and Gideon), exchanged a look with her husband. The shadowhunters from the back of the room began crowding around the windows to see what was the commotion.

“It’s the Enclave,” someone said, thoroughly surprised.

That got the attention of the entire room.

“This meeting is suspended, for the time being,” Charlotte said, “Until we see what the trouble is.”

The shadowhunters began filing out. Sure enough, there was a cluster of shadowhunters (who were, in fact, the London Enclave) making their way towards them. Charles was leaning them, his expression grim and... sad. When he looked at Cecily, she could have sworn he winced, though she sure it was because of the way he spoke of Tessa the other day. As familiar faces passed by, Cecily anxiously scanned the crowd, looking for Christopher and Anna. She was dimly aware that the shadowhunters were carrying their belongings, for some strange reason.

“What is the meaning of this?” Will demanded.

“London is under attack,” explained Charles, pale faced.

Now Cecily was truly worried, searching more frantically for a glimpse of dark hair or lavender eyes. Suddenly her eyes zeroed in a plank a couple of shadowhunters seemed to be carrying. Charlotte was already making her way towards it, when she suddenly stopped, slapped a hand over mouth. Cecily suddenly began sweating, her breaths shallow. And when Charlotte turned to face her, tears in her eyes, Cecily broke into a run.

She pushed through the crowd when she saw the body. Someone screamed. It took her a moment to realize it was coming from her.

“No, no, no, my darling Kit.” She gasped through tears, stroking his soft, lovely hair, putting a hand on his face, only for it to feel so incredibly cold. She couldn't breathe as she put her hands over his, where they were folded over his chest. “Christopher bach, my angel child. My sweet, sweet boy. Please open your eyes. Open your beautiful lavender eyes.”

She felt arms around her, pulling her away. Away from her baby. She fought as those arms held her fast. “Cecy,” Gabriel whispered, his voice cracking and thick with tears of his own.

Cecily collapsed into his arms, her knees giving out as she cried out to her son, as she cried out to the Angel, and then she simply cried, gasping for air, her tears streaking down her entire face and neck, some pooling at her collarbones, while others managed to slip in between her bosoms and rest at her heart. She wrapped her arms around her belly unconsciously, doubling over at the pain in her heart. She felt Gabriel press his face to her shoulder and she could feel the tears coming out of his eyes, soaking her skin. She leaned her head to the side so that they were touching. She didn’t know how long they stayed like that. All she knew was that at some point she turned around in Gabriel’s arms and hid in them, pressing her face to his chest. Gabriel held her fast, and she clung onto him.

…

They’d managed to get to Lightwood manor, somehow with help from Charlotte, Will and Tessa. Sophie and Gideon already knew the news, as Eugenia had come home earlier and told them. The second Sophie saw Cecily, she lunged for her and wrapped her arms tightly around her sister-in-law who, over the years and after summers spent living together at Lightwood manor, had become more like a sister to her. Cecily cried in Sophie’s arms taking comfort in the fact that Sophie knew exactly how Cecily felt. They both cried together, Sophie whispering in her ear that everything would be okay, that Kit was safe and protected and that he would be alright. He will never truly die and that he will live in her heart forever. Cecily clung to Sophie. “My heart, Sophie, it hurts so much. To know that I’ll wake up every morning for the rest of my life and now that I’ll never see him again. Never see him running down the stairs, never see another one of his disastrous experiments.” Her voice cracked, “Angel, I’ll never see my sweet Christopher’s lavender eyes peering up at me ever again, for as long as I live.”

“I know, Cecily.” Sophie said, her voice thick with tears, as she rubbed a hand against Cecily’s back, “Oh, how I know.”

Cecily put her chin on Sophie’s shoulder and caught a glimpse of the room. She saw Gideon embracing Gabriel holding up his brother as if he might collapse if he let him go. Will with his arm around Tessa, looking up at the ceiling as tears streamed down his face. Tessa’s eyes were closed, her body shaking from tears. They became terribly blurry until Cecily blinked and could see again. She saw Charlotte, her left hand holding Eugenia’s tightly, the latter resting her head on her aunt’s shoulder as they cried together. Charlotte’s other hand was resting on Henry's shoulder. Cecily blinked once more, clearing her vision. She caught sight of Henry’s face; he was looking directly at her, crying profusely, his face etched with pain. Cecily felt even more tears swarm her vision, because she knew how much Henry had meant to Christopher. How Henry understood him in a way Cecily never could; Cecily knew that Kit never held it against Cecily and Gabriel, that for him, their love and support had always been enough. But she had been so thankful that Kit had someone in his life like Henry, who had helped him find a place in the world.

She knew that Henry shared her grief. Perhaps not as intensely as she did, for there was nothing like a mother’s love for her child, but he was hurting immensely as well. Cecily slowly pulled away from Sophie, squeezing her hand in thanks as she did so, and wobbled where Henry was, her vision clearing for a millisecond every once and a while. She knelt down beside his bath chair, and he reached out to smooth her hair in a fatherly gesture. Cecily could barely contain herself any longer as she threw her arms around him, a fresh wave of grief hitting her. She felt his arm go around her and she squeezed her eyes shut because Henry smelled a bit like how Christopher used to smell and though it pained her greatly, it also gave her a slight tremor of relief, to be able to have at least one part of Kit still in her life.

“He was such a brilliant child, Cecily.” Henry said, “He was truly marvelous. He did more in his sixteen years of life than most people do in seventy. You did such a fine job in raising him. He was never nothing but kind and eager to help those around him.” Henry pulled away and put two hands on her shoulders. “When you think of him, think of everything he did, instead of everything he could have done had he lived.” Cecily pressed her eyes shut tightly and nodded, biting her bottom lip.

“Oh, Cecily,” Charlotte said, catching her in an embrace. “He loved you so much. Both of you,” She said, with a tearful nod in Gabriel’s direction. Cecily let herself be embraced until she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned to face Will and her arms shot out to embrace him.

“Cecy, I’m so sorry for the pain you feel.” He said.

Before Cecily could answer she heard a little voice call out, “Mam?”

Everybody in the room froze and turned around slowly to find little Alexander standing by the doorway. Nobody had expected him to wake up, least of all get out of bed after the injury he’d suffered. And yet, he was standing there, his blue eyes darting from each face in the room.

Gabriel, who was being embraced by Charlotte straightened.

He walked towards his son slowly, and before Cecily mechanically followed him. Gabriel knelt down in front of Alex and Cecily followed suit. She felt Gabriel put a comforting arm on her back.

Alex looked from one parent to the other, confused.

“Alex,” Cecily said, placing a hand on Alex’s cheek.

“Mam, why are you crying?”

Gabriel and Cecily both exchanged a glance, and together they told Alex that his older brother, Christopher, was no longer with them.

“Where did he go?” Alex asked.

“To a better place,” Cecily said.

“When will he come back?” Alex asked, biting his lip.

Cecily couldn’t answer that question. She looked up at the ceiling as Gabriel told him, gently, that Kit wouldn’t come back. That they’ll see him again, eventually, in that better place.

Alex looked at Gabriel, and then Cecily, and then at Gabriel again. “Papa, is Kit dead?”

Gabriel lips quivered as he said. “Yes, Alex. He is.”

Alex’s eyes swarmed with tears. “But why?”

“Because his time had come, Alex.” Cecily said.

“But-but he didn’t even say goodbye.” Alex said.

Cecily pulled him into a hug. “Oh Alexander bach, he would’ve if he could’ve.”

…

~1917~

Alexander Lightwood would never forget the day his brother died. How his parents had kneeled before him and broken his tiny little heart. How they held him as they all cried together. He remembered sleeping in their bed, his mother holding him tight as he cried himself to sleep. He remembered moments spent with Anna, the remaining Lightwood-Herondale siblings grieving the loss of their beloved brother. Alexander knew Kit’s death had been extremely difficult for him; how do you say goodbye to someone you have shared moments with every since day of your life?

Sometimes, even at age seventeen, he’d lay in bed and rub the jagged scar on his chest that ran from the right side of his chest all the way to the lower part of the left side of his ribs, slicing straight through his heart. For some reason, it made him think and Christopher. He couldn’t remember much of his brother’s physical appearance; he knew he had had his father’s nose and bone structure and his mother’s dimples from photographs. But he never knew what his mother meant when she described his lavender eyes; he couldn’t quite imagine them.

Alex may not remember much about his older brother, but he remembered how much he loved him. How he made him laugh. He remembered, very distantly, a winter’s day, where they played in the snow together. He remembered him showing Alex a purple solution, only for it to turn transparent as Christopher mixed it. He remembers Christopher explaining why it happened, something along the lines of the oxygen molecules bonding with some other molecules, though he couldn’t remember Kit’s voice at all. And he remembered sleeping beside him when he was scared at night and instantly feeling safe again.

But the strangest thing was that, though Alex had very few memories of his brother, every time Alex thought about Kit, his eyes would fill with tears and he’d feel a dull and heavy pain weighing down on his chest. Now, Alex felt tears prickle his eyes. He tried to blink them dry as he reached out and opened the drawer from his bedside table. Without looking, he felt around for a while before he found what he was looking for. He sighed against his pillows as he lifted the pair of gold rimmed spectacles that had belonged to his brother, inspecting them silently.

It was strange for Alexander to think that Christopher was younger than he was now when he’d died. Christopher, who had saved dozens of shadowhunters by finding the cure to a poison that had infected many shadowhunters. Christopher had also created fire-messages with the help of Grace Blackthorn—though Grace always rejects any sort of credit anyone tries to give her for helping, saying that Christopher had done all of the work—which were becoming extremely popular these days. Alexander had every reason to feel overshadowed by his genius older brother and yet, he never had. He’d only felt admiration and love towards him. And regret that he’d never been able to know him properly.

“You are a mystery to me, Kit.” Alex said, to the glasses, watching as their gold rims flashed in the moonlight. “I wonder what you would’ve thought of me, if you had known me as I am now.”

Alex felt a strange connection to his brother, one forged with the same unconditional love he held for Kit when he was younger. It wasn’t lack of love that left Alex unsettled; he only wished to piece together the puzzle that was his brother Christopher.

January, 1904

It was still painful to see The Merry Thieves and not see Christopher among them. Sometimes, when she wasn’t thinking, Cecily would spot Thomas and begin walking towards him, as if to ask him where her silly son was, only to remember.

Pasting by his room was the hardest. She was always expecting him to be sitting there, mumbling to himself and she would go up to him and ruffle his hair, ask him what he was working on, even though she didn’t understand a word of it. She peaked into his room now, in the same disarray it had been before Gabriel and Cecily had gone to Idris. When Christopher was still alive, every once in a while she’d go to his room and tidy up his desk a little even though she knew it was fruitless. But now, she couldn’t bring herself to so much as touch anything in his room, much less tidy it up, as she knew that even if she did, Kit would never come back to make a mess of it again.

She walked around slowly. The room still smelled like him. She leaned over and saw a thick notebook, filled with his incredibly messy scrawl. She’d spent hours trying to fix his handwriting when he was young, showing him how to hold the pen, giving him exercises to do so that it was more legible, but his handwriting was more stubborn than his father. For the first time in a while, Cecily smiled just a little at his messy notes and for a second it even held, before it turned wobbly and she began crying. She could just imagine how he must have been, hunched over his desk as he desperately tried to write as fast as his mind was working.

She didn’t realize Gabriel had come into the room until she felt his arms around her. She closed her eyes and leaned into him, trying to keep her tears at bay.

“We created such an Angel, Gabriel.” She said, looking up at him. “I think about him and I can’t believe we raised him. All he ever wanted to do was help. To save shadowhunters for years to come.”

“And he did,” Gabriel said. His voice, though thick with emotion, was steady. “Twice. Doesn’t that count for something? That at the end of the day, he did exactly what he set out to do?”

Cecily felt her lips curl upwards, in spite of her tears.

“Of course it does. But it still hurts to know that he’s gone and he’s never coming back.”

Gabriel brushed his hand over the top of her hair, and Cecily, confused, looked up. Gabriel looked down at her with watery green eyes. “I wanted to kiss the top of your head, but I may have gotten tears all over your head.

Cecily laughed a little. “That’s alright.”

Gabriel leaned over and kissed her forehead from where he was standing behind her. “I think you should visit him,” he said. “I’ve done it a couple of times since his passing.” Gabriel’s voice cracked just the tiniest bit when he said that last part. “It doesn’t take away the pain, but…it helps.”

Cecily turned around in his arms and looked up at him in surprise. She hadn’t known he had been doing that. “I-I think I will.”

Gabriel smiled and put a hand to her cheek, wiping a tear away from her face.

…

Christopher had never really shown interest in flowers that weren’t poisonous or carnivorous. Cecily didn’t want to take poisonous plants to her late son’s grave stone. Especially since poison was what had taken her baby boy away from her in the first place. Instead, she brought lavender.

Her steps were heavy as she walked up the hill to his gravestone. When she finally got there catching sight of his name printed on the stone, she dropped to her knees.

Don’t cry, she told herself, not yet at least.

“Hello, darling,” she managed to get out. “It’s me, Mam. I know I haven’t come to visit you until now, but don’t you dare think that it’s because I don’t care for you. It’s only because I missed you so—” her voice cracked and she had to pause to swallow the lump growing in her throat.

“I-I brought you lavender, my sweet kitten. I know you probably would have preferred a venus flytrap, but I also think you would have preferred it stayed in its natural habitat. Anyway, I brought you lavender instead. I don’t know what sort of properties it may have that would interest you, but they smell lovely at least and they remind me of your beautiful eyes. You might remember my mother’s eyes, but then again, you didn’t really pay attention to such superficial things.” She smiled. “You paid attention to things truly mattered.” Cecily wiped a tear and quickly arranged the lavender.

“Kit bach, I think I just have to tell you everything I wish I could have told you when you were here. I know you don’t like sentimental things, and you can turn away if you want to, but you’re just going to have to bear with me, because I need to say it.” She took a shaky breath before continuing. “Kit, my darling Kit, you were bigger than the whole sky. You are everything to me and I am so blessed to have been your mother. You gave me the best sixteen years I could have asked for and I know that even if it meant you passed far too early, I still wouldn’t change the time we spent together for the world. Watching you grow up was the most beautiful experience The Lord could have given me. You were the most beautiful thing The Lord could have given me.

“You and your siblings are and always will be the most treasured thing in my life and not a day will go by when I won’t think about you. About the joy you brought me, about the times you would drive me insane every time one of your experiments backfired,” Cecily managed to smile at this. “If you came back to me, I would let you explode the entire house, for all I care, for nothing I own will ever hold a candle to how much I love you. Because I really do love you so so much. More than anything in the world. I waited my whole life for you, my Christopher, and now I shall wait until the day we are rightfully reunited. And I’ll give you the biggest hug and smother you in a thousand and one kisses and there will be no escape from you, mister.” Cecily said, with a broken smile. “So you’ll have this time to prepare yourself, before you encounter my wrath. Brace yourself.”

Cecily stayed there for a while, talking to Christopher. Telling him about Thomas and James and Matthew, because he would have loved to hear about them. She told him about Henry, and how he missed his lab partner dearly. She told him about Anna and Alex, about Gabriel. She told him about his friend Grace, who had visited Cecily a while back and told her how much she owed to Kit, how good of a friend he’d been. It had made Cecily proud of her son, who was always so kind and selfless. Cecily had even brought a scientific newspaper and read to him the newest advancements in science these days.

These little talks would become routine for Cecily for years to come. In fact, she kept up with them every week, until her dying day.

“Oh, you’ll love this, Kit bach,” She would say, as she read out a report that would have sparked Christopher’s interest. And he would, because Kit, even in the afterlife, could hear every little thing his mother told him and he would listen attentively to her, every time she would stop by. When he could, he would send a little gust of wind, of a tiny bird to keep her company. Cecily would smile at these things, as if deep down, she knew it was Christopher who was sending them.

…

Cecily opened her eyes and immediately realized that she felt so incredibly light. Lighter than she had in all of her years being a Lightwood, she thought with a smile. She opened her eyes and looked around, staring at the marvelousness around her. Suddenly, she felt someone behind her. Turning around she saw Gabriel and her heart burst into a million pieces at seeing the love of her life once more. She wrapped her arms around him and held onto him tightly.

“I missed you,” she whispered, even though she had died only a couple years after he did. Drawing away, she looked into his eyes. He looked like he did when they were young; around 25 years old. And yet, he also looked like he did at 40; he looked like he did the last time Cecily saw him—on his deathbed—and at the same time, he looked like the first time she saw him, when he was a 19 year old boy with a broken heart that desperately needed mending. Only, Gabriel wasn’t in pain now. He looked exactly as she felt: light and free.

“I missed you more,” he said, bending to press his forehead against her own. They stayed like that for a while, only for Gabriel to slowly pull away and place his hands on her waist. Gently, he turned her around so that she could see…

Oh.

Cecily ran and threw her arms around Christopher. Kit hugged her tightly as they both fell to their knees

“My darling,” She muttered, pressing feather light kisses on his temple, on his cheek. She brushed her fingers through his impossibly soft hair, as she had once done, all those years ago and thought she would never do again. She wept tears of joy, her heart, feeling full for the first time in a long, long time. She pulled back, both of her hands on either side of his face, and looked into those lovely lavender eyes and, for the first time since 1903, her smile turned up the highest it could possibly go.

“My Kit, how I longed to see you again. I love you so much.”

Christopher smiled at her, and her heart melted, “I love you too, Mam.”

...

Tagging: @tsccreatorsnet @atla-lok143 @rinadragomir @youngreckless @autumnangel20 @julemmaes @cupcakesandkittens @no-scones-allowed @ninacarstairss @stxr-thxif @icouldnotask @jordeliasupremacy @cordelia-cardale @will-effing-herondale @axoloteca @heronstairs2014 @ilovemanicures @ti-bae-rius @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @readersconfessions812 @nightshade3465 @livvyheronstairs @zemiraa @proudtobealuthor @neurogliadudette @theenchanteddreamer @cheeseandmacarons-deactivated20 @shadowhunting-hoolingans @writeordie-4 @amchara @myangelbach @livingformyself @dancing-under-the-moon @julescarstairs @wouldyouknowmeblind @grace-lightwoodd @livingformyself @ilikebooksandtvshows @queenofoceansanddarkness

#chot spoilers #chain of thorns spoilers #cot spoilers #christopher lightwood #cecily lightwood #gabriel lightwood #tsc #tlh #the last hours #the last hours spoilers #grace blackthorn #anna lightwood #thomas lightwood #ana fics

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themagnusbane · 2 months ago

Text

Murder at the New York Institute

Title: Murder at the New York Institute

Artist: @la-muerta

Rating: Mature (Chapter 7 only. Will give a heads-up)

Pairings: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood, Jace Herondale/Simon Lewis

Word Count: ~27k

Summary: Pull out the Cluedo board they said. It would be fun to play they said. Nothing could possibly happen on Samhain they said. And now, Magnus and Alec, Clary and Izzy, Simon and Jace have been pulled into an alternate New York Institute, with no powers, no idea what has caused it, or who has brought them there. Oh. And there’s been a murder. Except, can you kill a dead man twice? And can Valentine Morgenstern just SHUT THE FUCK UP!

This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Reverse Bang 2024: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver

Chapter Four: Reverend Lightwood

One minute Alec Lightwood was trying to figure out how to stretch and bend his body just so; so he could reach Magnus and steal a kiss, and the next he was staring at Clary Fray, her mouth breaking into a grin at his pursed lips.

He held out a finger. “Not a word out of you Fray.” He whirled around, catching a glimpse of purple highlights. “Magnu—“ And he had his boyfriend in his arms, deepening the kiss, as he felt Magnus sink his fingers into his hair. Alec groaned, hands spread, lightly over the top curve of Magnus’s ass, as their lips tangled.

He made a small sound of dismay as he felt Magnus begin to break away, sighed softly as he felt Magnus nuzzle just beneath his chin. Teeth scraping lightly over his Adam’s apple. And then they pulled apart. Soft smiles on both their faces.

“I’ve missed you,” they said simultaneously. Smiles deepening.

“Yeah. Yeah. Take a number. We’ve all missed each other.”

Alec didn’t bother turning around. Just flipped Jace the bird and rounded over to Simon to poke him in the chest. “What. Did. You. Do?”

Simon had his hands up in surrender at the first poke. “Me??? Nothing! Really. I bought it at Target.”

Alec’s eyes narrowed. “Which Target?”

“The one at Flatbush!”

“139 or 1598?”

“139.”

The questions came in rapid fire beats, and Simon answered each one of them. Quickly, without dallying or going off on a tangent.

It was that fact, that realization that Simon was taking this seriously, had been thinking and processing what had happened, and was figuring out a way to get them all back home, to somehow undo whatever spell had brought them to whatever world this was, that finally soothed his anger.

He harrumphed and stepped away, catching Simon’s barely hidden sigh of relief as he fell into the arms of Jace, who shot Alec a glare.

Alec ignored him.

This was still Simon’s fault for buying the damn game, in the first place.

Alec settled in place beside Magnus. “Is this a good time to point out that I TOLD YOU SO?” He ignored all the groans that greeted his words, and Magnus choked off laugh, and continued his rant. “Because I TOLD YOU SO! I told you all that the game made no sense. The Boddy dude was blackmailing them. Then he brought them all to his mansion. Why? Why would anyone in their right thinking mind agree to just show up to the house of their blackmailer?!”

“Well technically,” he heard Simon cut in, hands raised like he was trying to appease Alec. “They didn’t KNOW at the time that he was the one blackmailing them. They find out just before he is murdered. That’s why they are suspects, you see.”

“Yes. Suspects that would have gotten away with it. If they’d just agreed to collectively bury him. Why bother trying to find out why and how he died, instead of celebrating that he DIED and leaving his body to ROT????!”

“My thoughts exactly Alexander!” Alec heard Magnus’s voice echo, a distance away. Strange. Magnus had been right behind him when he turned to grill Simon about the board game, turned transporter. Why did he sound like he was on the other end of the room.

He turned around to catch a quick shot of Magnus’s ass wiggling as he stretched all the way to the tip of his toes, until his fingers grasped a bottle of—was that bourbon?—and cheered when he brought it back down.

“Seriously Magnus?”

“The only way we’re getting through this is if we all lose the rational caps and think outside of the box. I think that’s the solution to us getting out of this mess,” Magnus replied.

“What makes you say that?” Simon asked.

Magnus shrugged. “What about the circumstances that brought us here, reads in any way logical to you Simon?”

“Fair point.”

Magnus held up the bottle. “Anyone want some bourbon?” He gave Izzy a thumbs up with the bottle in hand, at the sight of her digging up glasses from beneath the floorboards.

Alec sighed and dropped back into the seat beside Magnus. “I’ll have some.”

Magnus crowed and poured him in a generous hand of the whiskey. Alec downed it one gulp and held out his glass for another.

Magnus smirked, “Easy there Tiger. Falling asleep tonight is not on the cards. Especially not when you’re dressed like that and I’ve got sins I desperately desperately want to atone for.”

“Which is a great segue for me to say this. Alec,” he heard Clary’s upbeat voice and braced himself as he turned around to see her. Sure enough, she had the biggest shit-eating grin on her face. He just knew she was about to say something that he would want so badly to smother her for. He narrowed his eyes. Hoping that the glare would deter her.

It only makes her quirk her lips even more.

Fuck.

“You’re wearing a priest’s garb.”

“Obviously. Thank you for stating the obvious Fray.”

She tsked, wagging her finger in his direction. “But, why are you specifically wearing a priest’s garb? Like, of course Izzy gets brought to this world, looking absolutely divine in a red dress that brings out her eyes, makes her skin glow, that blood red lip, and looks like she was poured into it. She’s here to see my fantasies realized.”

Alec heard his sister blow her girlfriend a kiss, and ignored her. Something about the direction of Clary’s thoughts, was screaming “mayday” at him, like he just knew she was about to say something even more idiotic and inappropriate than usual.

“And then there’s Jace with that Colonel uniform that has Simon cross eyed, and staring at that belt buckle like he wants to loosen it with his teeth!”

Alec looked at Simon who was now actively staring at Jace’s pants like he could discover the secrets of the universe in between those spread legs. And with the way his brother and Parabatai leaned further back on the chair, angling his hips even wider, the smirk on his face, even more devious, it was clear those two were far into a world of their own.

Alec sighed. His eyes drifted over to Magnus, caught and held. He knew that look.

“And then there’s you. Dressed like a priest. And Magnus has been staring at you like he’s not sure if you’re his salvation, damnation or every filthy fantasy he’s ever had come to life.”

He recognized the loose languid way that Magnus had draped his frame over his seat. The hooded eyes. The way he kept twirling those rings, over his slender fingers. From one finger to the next. Curving and curling just so. Eyes raking over him like they were very much imagining him naked.

He lifted his hands to adjust the collar, and stopped at the sight of one of Magnus’ fingers. “No. Keep it tight.” Magnus’s voice was a raspy caress. You know I like it that way.”

Fuck!

FUCK!

They needed to stay on track. ALL of them! Even Clary who was now pushed up against Izzy, legs wrapped around his sister’s waist. A small roll and whine of her waist that he knew was setting them all off, down a path they could not take.

“No.”

His voice came out low and hoarse. Like he hadn’t just used it barely minutes ago. He caught Magnus’s eyes. The smug smile, and cleared his throat to try again. “No.”

“We all need to stop thinking about sex, and start thinking about how to get the fuck out of here. This…” He motioned at his outfit. At Jace’s. At Izzy. “Is ALL a distraction.” We need to figure out how we got here, and how we are getting out.

He heard Simon give a moan of disappointment, but pull away from Jace. Licking his lips as he fixed up the buttons of his shirt that had gotten undone, almost to his navel. “Alec is right.”

“Thank you Simon.”

He was about to resume his speech when Simon said the rest of his sentence. “And most importantly, I don’t think I feel very comfortable at the thought of Valentine watching me fuck my boyfriend.”

At the words, everyone froze. Eyes swinging over to Simon, whilst Izzy facepalmed. “Oh shit. I forgot.”

“I’m sorry, you said WHAT?!” Alec demanded.

“Well, Valentine is here. With us. He was brought along too.” Simon shrugged, then turned his face up in the direction of the ceiling. “Say hello, Valentine.”

“Valentine, Valentine? Like my father Valentine?”

“Like the Valentine that Clary turned into a pincushion Valentine?” Jace asked.

“Like the Valentine we ALL saw die, Valentine?” Alec asked. He knew he sounded incredulous, but Simon wasn’t making any sense.

But then, he noticed Magnus nodding his head, alongside Izzy. “You’ve both seen him?”

“Less seen. More… Spoken with.”

At the words, everyone collectively looked up. Alec didn’t know what he expected to see? The floating form of Valentine Morgenstern, motherfucker who refuses to stay dead? Or maybe a projector of some sort, with speakers that would prove that whoever had pulled them into this world was still playing a sort of prank on them. That was how Alec had felt after all, when he’d first arrived here, with no memories of how he’d gotten there, and feeling the wrongness of the Institute that looked everything like his, but felt nothing like his, in equal measure.

And then he’d run into Magnus, after finally agreeing to the damn dice role from whatever voice had been instructing him. And just as he’d been figuring out how to kiss his boyfriend, because it does feel like forever when you’re confused about where you’re at, how you got there, and how you can possibly get back home, he and Magnus got pulled into the library by Simon and Clary, and now he’s been dropped another bombshell.

He felt himself soften, immediately.

Valentine Morgenstern was terrible for having or getting to keep an erection.

A quick glance around the room confirmed that everyone else thought the same. And Clary looked like she was desperate to have another knife, so she could give stabbing her father yet another chance.

Alec chuckled at the thought.

It broke the tension and brought everyone’s eyes to him. Magnus with his brows raised in question. Simon looking confused. Jace’s eyes darting between him and the ceilings, clearly torn about who he should be giving the most of his attention to at the moment. Clary and Izzy, fingers intertwined, and heads cocked in a movement so similar to each other, it seemed almost telepathic.

“What’s funny, Alexander?”

“Yes, what’s so funny, Alec?” Jace demanded.

Alec shrugged. “The fact that we’re stuck in whatever alternate plane this is, with a peeping tom serial murderer watching us. What are the odds?”

“Exactly, the same question I’ve been asking Alec Lightwood. What are the odds?”

Alec ignored him. “The sooner we figure out what is happening and how to return home. The sooner we can get rid of Freddy Krueger—“

He heard Simon’s squeal of delight, and ignored the sound. But felt his lips pull in a small smile that Magnus winked at him for.

Hmmph.

“—The sooner we can be back home, and all of this would feel like a dream. So, suggestions? Anyone?”

“Well, I’ve been thinking, and I have an idea.”

Alec swallowed the knee-jerk sound of protest that had risen unbidden to his lips. Instead he said, “remember. Stay on track Simon. We don’t have much time.”

Simon nodded. “Right. So, we know that the original game was murder at Boddy mansion right?”

Everyone made sounds of agreement.

“And that whatever or whoever brought us here, is merely playing around with elements of the game. Boddy’s mansion is now the New York Institute. And we have been brought in as the players.” He pointed to each of them in turn. “Miss. Lightwood. Miss. Fray.”

He smirked slightly as he pointed at Alec.

Alec glowered back at him, not like it affected Simon much. He simply continued. “Reverend Lightwood. Doctor Bane.”

His voice trailed off slightly as he turned to Jace, who smirked back at him. Simon stuck out his tongue, cleared his throat, and continued. “Colonel Herondale.” He pointed at himself. “And myself. Mr. Lewis. Is everyone clear on their identities?”

They all nodded.

“Now. Clearly, we’re meant to inhabit these roles and characters, and figure out which one of us killed Valentine, who is the Mr. Boddy in this case. My guess is that once we make a correct accusation, the rules of this world would come into effect and we will be released back to our own city, in our plane, and our timeline.”

He looked around. “What do you think?”

“I think you’re right to a degree, Simon.” Magnus said.

He sat forward, his eyes focused and serious. Gone was the playfulness and the jokes. This was the High Warlock of Brooklyn, taking stock of their situation, and figuring out their escape.

“But we aren’t in a different plane. I’d snuck in the question to the voice of the system, and asked. I got confirmation that we are still in the same plane.” Magnus smirked. “And that our warden is not as omniscient as they might want us to believe.”

Alec felt his brows furrow as he looked at Magnus.

Magnus grinned, and turned to Jace. “Remember, three nights ago. When Alec attempted to cook Pasta Carbonara, he instead made what you called “Pasta Carbo-never-again-should-you-attempt-to-cook-Alec?”

Jace laughed, and shook his head. “I think you got that a bit upside down Magnus. It was four nights ago, cuz that was the only night none of us were on patrol. And it was Izzy that made the Pasta Carbo-never-again-should-you-attempt-to-cook-Izzy.” He laughed and bumped shoulders with Isabelle who looked grumpy at first, but joined the rest of them in laughing.

Magnus smiled. “Exactly. It was Izzy, not Alec. And it was four nights ago, not three.” But the system couldn’t call me out on the error, because the system simply doesn’t know. It’s not omniscient, like it might want us to think.”

They all nodded.

Makes sense

“My belief is that this is merely a pocket world, superimposed on ours, to fulfill the requirements of whoever and whatever has brought us here, like Simon said. Once we’ve unraveled the mystery, this pocket will disintegrate, dropping us back to the location and time of our disappearance or capture,” Magnus concluded.

“And you think we can trust the system?” Alec found himself asking. He trusted Magnus. He knew how good a judge of character his boyfriend was. You don’t manage that many Downworlders, seeing to their needs, and attending to their desires, whilst managing the egos of Shadowhunters, without getting very good at reading people. So, his question was more to clear away any doubt anyone else might have had in the room.

Magnus winked at him. A bit of playfulness finding its way into the serious bent his face had taken. “Very. The system, as much as it tries, is not very good at lying.”

They all collectively felt the room’s temperature go up slightly.

Magnus smiled. “See? She’s upset.”

“She?” Simon asked “Why she?”

Magnus’s smile widened as he leaned forward, whispering low, so they could catch it. “Just a hunch.”

Simon nodded. “I also noticed that she got very temperamental, when I spent more time talking with Valentine before she could make her entrance.”

“Oh?” Magnus asked.

“Yes.” Simon responded. “I got this feeling that she was huffing and annoyed that I ignored her for so long, to give my time and attention to Valentine.”

Magnus rubbed his chin in thought, as he smiled. “That makes sense. The pieces keep falling into place.”

Jace pulled back, rolling his eyes, and interrupting Magnus’s soliloquy. Alec barely held himself from sneering at his brother. He loved hearing Magnus have his stream of consciousness thoughts. Loved it when he got to process his thoughts aloud. And now it had been cut short, by Jace.

Jace however, ignored Alec and continued speaking. “So, all we have to do is figure out who killed the already dead Valentine?” He looked around. “I mean, how hard can it be?” He pointed at Clary. “We know she did it the last time. It makes sense that she did it the second time.”

Clary sputtered, and pointed right back at Jace. “Or, since I did it the first time, and you never got the chance to stab him as many times as you wanted to, back then, this could be your chance to kill him again, for being the worst father figure, thief, and a positive prick.”

“Clarissa. You wound me.”

“Shut UP!” They all collectively said, eyes rolling as they turned their focus back on the conversation.

“Fair point. So that means, it could either be me, or Clary. Anyone else have a motive?” Jace asked, looking around.

“I would kill him just because.” Izzy said. “He hurt Clary. He kidnapped you. He’s a dick. Just having him breathe for a second longer is more than enough motivation for me to end him quickly.”

Clary giggled, and leaned over, to give Izzy a quick kiss, looking absolutely delighted.

Jace chuckled.

“Well, I would kill him just on principle.” Simon caught all their eyes and shrugged. “He hates Downworlders and has plans on killing us. Letting him live was never in the cards.”

“True. And he’s killed way too many warlocks. His Circle members collected trophies. Of course I have more than enough reason to want him dead,” Magnus said. Then he smiled, dark and deep, and Alec knew that if he still had his magic, his eyes would have flashed feline gold. “But I wouldn’t kill him quick. Flaying a man and giving him enough magic to jolt him back from the brink every time, is a much better way to kill him than a quick stab.” Magnus leaned down and cupped Clary’s cheek. “Next time Biscuit, you need to make it last a bit longer.”

Clary nodded. “True. But at that time, I was running to kill him quickly before an angel showed up to grant his request, remember?”

“Ah true.” Magnus nodded sagely. “Raziel always did have terrible timing.”

“I personally find it disturbing that all of you are imagining the many ways in which you could kill me again.”

“NOBODY CARES!” They all collectively hollered, and then looked to Alec.

“I guess Alec’s the only one we KNOW is NOT a suspect?” Simon asked.

“Oh no. I definitely would kill him. In a heartbeat. Arrow through his eyes. Not even give him a chance to say a word.”

“You can shoot him with an arrow love,” Magnus said. “After I’m done peeling off all his skin. Put him out of his misery. Straight through the eye.”

Alec grinned. “That’s why I love you.”

“That’s why I love you!”

“And that’s why we need to get out of here so we can all go back to loving those we love, in the privacy of closed doors and our apartments,” Jace groused.

Alec slid his brother a side-eye, but was promptly ignored. He cleared his throat. “So, we’ve established that any of us would take the chance to kill Valentine. And clearly, we’ve all had very extensive thoughts on exactly how we would do it.”

Everyone nodded.

“I guess the next thing is, what’s our murder weapon?”

Izzy held up her candlestick.

Simon held up a lead pipe.

Magnus held up a glass of what Alec had thought was margarita.

“Not a margarita?” Alec asked.

Magnus smiled. “Not a margarita.”

Alec turned to Clary. “You?”

She held up a knife. “Figured I would continue with my brand.”

Alec nodded. “Makes sense. Jace?

He turned to see Jace pull out a revolver from his coat jacket. “Where did you get that?”

Jace jerked his chin downwards. “At the prison cell.”

“See, that’s how I know that whoever came up with whatever this is, didn’t think things through. What inept Head of the Institute leaves a mundie weapon like a gun, in a place a prisoner can have easy access to?!!”

“Well…”

Alec narrowed his eyes on his sister. “There is absolutely no way you can attempt to justify that Izzy.”

“Well, it’s not like mundane guns can actually KILL us you know,” Izzy reminded them.

“Yes. But they hurt like a motherfucker.” Jace and Alec said simultaneously, caught each other’s eyes, and burst out laughing.

Ah. Those were the days.

Clary Fray. Roll the dice to gain some movement.

“Ah. I guess the system is pissed that we’re not playing the game anymore?” Izzy asked.

“Technically we are. Trying to figure out the murder weapons and our motives are all part of playing the game. Maybe it didn’t like Jace and Alec laughing,” Simon pointed out.

“Maybe. But we need a plan,” Alec said. “We can’t just go off, half-cocked.”

“True. I suggest we zip our way across the different rooms. See the lay of the land. Figure out if that’s where the murder took place,” Magnus said.

“Makes sense,” Izzy said. “We can rule out the library, because I don’t know about you. But the thought of getting Valentine’s blood, on any of these gorgeous books, just fills me with horror.”

Alec found himself nodding. “Same.”

“Same.” Jace confirmed.

“Me neither.” Magnus stated

Simon nodded and Clary gave a thumbs up.

“So we’re ruling out the library,” Alec said, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen as he rapidly wrote down different locations in the Institute: the infirmary. The head’s office. The Greenhouse. The prison cell—which he was more likely to believe was the murder location, but they needed to check other places first—the training room. The cafetria. And finally the war room.

“Simon, where did you come in from?” Alec asked.

“The Greenhouse.”

Alec nodded. “All in favour of collectively agreeing that the plants deserve better than to have to purify Valentine Morgenstern’s blood from their leaves, say aye.”

“Aye!”

It was unanimous.

“The insults never seem to stop”

They all continued to ignore him.

Well then. That left six rooms, with six of them. They could work with that.

“Everyone. Just to confirm that these locations and areas are still as we remember them, we will each take a room. Follow the game to get us there. After we’re all done, let’s make our way back to the library. If you see any of us on your route, be sure to let them know if you’ve checked out your assigned room, and are on your way to the library. I want us all back here, in another hour, max TWO, so we can make the final accusation.” Alec looked down at his watch to confirm the time, and everyone echoed the act; taking note of theirs. “Anyone got any questions?”

They all shook their heads.

“Good,” Alec said. “Anybody have anything to add?”

“Remember that there are connecting pathways and rooms in the institute. If you need to get moving quickly,” Simon said.

Alec inclined his head. “True. The prison cell connects to the head’s office.”

“The infirmary to the cafeteria,” Jace added.

“And the weapons room to the war room.” Izzy finished.

“Four rooms that are connected to four other rooms?” Magnus asked. He waggled his eyebrows at Alec who fought back a laugh. “Your institute is filled with many secrets, Alexander.”

Alec nodded. “That it is. It’s best we find all of them so we can find our way home.”

They all stood up.

Alec gestured at Clary. “Clary. Your move.”

Clary nodded. “Roll the dice.”

You have rolled a sixteen, Miss. Fray. How do you want to proceed?

Clary leaned over to place a kiss on Izzy. It was quick. It was fast. It was deep. And it was over. Before Izzy could blink, Clary had stepped out of the door, in the direction of the prison cell, to see what secrets it might hold.

#shrb2024 #shadowhunters #malec fanfic #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #jimon #jace herondale #jace wayland #clizzy #clary fray #clary fairchild #isabelle lightwood #izzy lightwood #magnus x alec #shadowhunters fanfiction #shadowhunters fic

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thelightofthebane · 1 year ago

Text

through the good and bad and all in between

Summary: Magnus was born a warlock. Magnus became a mundane for love and by self-sacrificing tendencies. Magnus turned into a vampire after an act of spite and revenge.

A story about survival, new identities, love through adversities, and accepting changes.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s03e17 Heavenly Fire, Vampire Magnus Bane, Turned without consent, Major Character Undeath, Immortal to Mortal to Immortal, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Boyfriend Alec Lightwood, Soft Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Cat & Alec friendship, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending

Rating: E

Chapters: 10

Words: Around 23k~

This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Mini Bang 2023: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver

You can read it on AO3 or the sixth chapter below ~

Chapter 6 - And this is how it's supposed to be

It looked like normal blood.

But it hidden a power greater than they could’ve imagined.

“I thought Simon became a Daylighter as some side effect of the Soul Sword’s light.” Magnus frowned, still trying to comprehend what Alexander has just told him.

That was the official version after all. Something about how being in contact with Clary’s pure blood plus the Soul Sword’s energy affected Simon and he became a rare kind of vampire – something, thus, impossible to recreate.

“I thought too, until earlier today when Jace finally told me the truth. It’s actually something pretty simple, but that could turn both my parabatai and his girlfriend into a beacon for vampires.”

Magnus nodded in understanding. Not all vampires would be polite enough to say ‘please, could you give me a bit of your blood so I won’t be burned alive under the sun?’ They would actually suck Jace and Clary dry.

“Not even Clary knows about this. It’s a secret that Jace and Simon have been keeping only between themselves. At least for serious matters those two can actually shut up and keep a secret.” Alec murmured almost grumpily, then cleared his throat. “Anyway, now we both know, too.”

“Why? If Jace is doing this out of guilt just because I lost my magic in exchange of helping him, it’s unnecessary. I made my own choice.”

“It’s not about guilt, Magnus. I think it’s his own version of thank you for, you know, saving him from Lilith. If you haven’t done that, I’d have been forced to kill him. It would have destroyed me. Not only because he is my parabatai, but it would also be my brother’s blood on my hands. He knows that. And he’s grateful for you preventing that.”

Magnus shrugged helplessly as if to say it was nothing, but Alec weren’t having none of that. Taking Magnus’ hand and kissing his knuckles, he spoke softly, almost as if it were a secret.

“Jace might not show it, but he also cares about you a lot, Magnus. You’re family, and we do everything we can for family.”

Magnus’ Adam’s apple bobbed, and he turned his gaze again to the uncapped bottle of concentrated Angel blood.

What if it didn’t work? Though his heritage was of fire and shadow, Magnus was never one to hide in darkness. He liked the light too much, and thrived on it. Being a Child of the Night damped his joy, and he could live with that.

It was just that…

He really didn’t want to.

“Well, if nothing else, I’ll already have my fill for lunch,” he joked, though there was no lightness in his eyes.

His Alexander, never to ignore his distress, kissed his forehead. “Be brave, my love.”

And what else Magnus could do? Still a little hesitant, but more resolute than before, Magnus picked the bottle and took a small sip.

He didn’t know if it was going to work or not, but oh… It was delicious.

Almost addictive.

He drank everything almost in one go, feeling the most sated since waking up to this new life. And fortunately, it was enough to fill his stomach and quench his thirst, or else he might’ve not resisted taking a taste from Alec - whose blood always smelled delicious for him.

And Magnus definitely didn’t want to go there. Yet. Or maybe never.

A thought for another day, however.

“Do you feel any different?”

Magnus shook his head, but was already heading towards the door.

“Only one way to find out.”

Before he could launch himself into the sun, though, Alec grabbed his wrist. His eyes were wide in fear and panic.

“Can’t you just…” He waved his hand. “Put only an arm outside. Just in case it didn’t work.”

“Oh my darling…” Magnus lifted his hands and held Alec’s face in between them. “You have been so afraid all this time, haven’t you? Don’t you worry, okay? I won’t do that to myself. To us.”

Alec searched all over Magnus’ face for reassurance, and seemingly finding it, released a shaking breath. Nodding, he let Magnus’ go and stepped back, giving space to his boyfriend.

Smiling in gratitude, Magnus took only one deep breath - which he didn’t need anymore but the simple action helped to center himself - and then turned, marching forward to the afternoon sun without hesitation.

The world became brighter, lighter, warmer.

~*~

They were lazily making out on a sunbed at the back yard, Magnus refusing to go inside for hours already after finding out that he really became a Daylighter. Not that Alec minded. Seeing Magnus smiling and happier was enough for the Shadowhunter.

Only after they were beyond sated and just cuddling, the day giving way for a chilly night, that Alec dared to bring out the topic that was weighing heavily in his mind.

“Have you thought about Raphael’s request?”

For a moment Magnus tensed, but soon enough he relaxed again in Alec’s arms.

“I don’t know if I’m the best as Raphael’s replacement. I may know how their politics work, but I’m fairly new as a vampire myself. How can I expect to have their trust in leading them?”

“They know you. Maybe not as a vampire, but as a Downworlder like them. An immortal, too. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were older than most of the clan.”

“It’s still uncharted territory.” Magnus insisted.

“Magnus, you may have changed what you are, but not who you are. Your heart is still the same, and I’m pretty sure your brain is, too. You can still give advice. You have centuries of knowledge in magic and life overall. You created the portal and so many other things. You can still create new things, if not for the Warlock community, but for the vamps. I’m certain they would appreciate that and…”

Alec started to wave his hand aimlessly in the air like he sometimes did when immersing himself at some topic and laying out all the facts to prove his point. It was endearing, actually. It was somehow soothing to have such a small thing unchangeable even when their worlds kept colliding and in the brink of destruction and spinning all the time.

“... And, and we all know how you always liked to eat, from simple things to more ostentatious ones, so don’t tell me you won’t try to indulge yourself with something that may work with blood. Like, hiring some chefs and trying together thousands of recipes while combining different types of blood. You would become their favorite leader in no time! Maybe Maia would love new ideas for Taki’s, too.”

Magnus hummed, humoring his Shadowhunter. “Yeah, that sounds like me, alright.”

“Exactly! The New York clan wouldn’t know what-” Alec’s voice trailed off when a fire message came flying suddenly. He took it from the air and read the urgent message on it.

His expression closed off almost immediately, his eyes thunderous.

“What is it?” Magnus immediately sat up, worried.

“They found Camille. In a crime scene.”

None talked for a full minute. Alec started typing furiously on his phone while Magnus’ thoughts scrambled like dandelion seeds in the wind.

Only when they suddenly crashed and Magnus blinked out of his reverie, looking up and seeing Alec already looking back at him with worry in his eyes, that he felt coherent enough to form words.

“How…” He cleared his sudden dry throat. “How bad is it?”

“A carnifice. Over a dozen of dead mundanes. Three were children. There was a toddler.”

Silence.

The kind that could suffocate.

Then, Alec sighed. “Magnus, I don’t think imprisonment is enough for her now. She committed too many crimes. She has been killing mundanes left and right. She killed you and Simon. She will certainly get the death sentence, be it from the Clave or the Warlock Council, and I don’t want to–”

“I trust you.” Magnus interrupted him. “I- I don’t want to know anything about her anymore. If I could, I’d have my memories of her completely erased. So, I trust you to make the right call.”

Alec nodded slowly, though he was still very worried about Magnus.

“I have to go back to the Institute to assemble a team. Do you want me to call Cat or Raphael to keep you company?”

Magnus shook his head. “I want to be alone.” Crossing his arms over his chest, the vampire got up from the sunbed. “Go do your job, Shadowhunter. I’ll be here when you come back.”

Without waiting for a reply, Magnus practically fled back to Ragnor’s house, the back door closing with a bitter finality.

~*~

“Wow, I haven’t seen you this murderous since Valentine and Magnus swapped bodies,” Jace commented, very unnecessarily, causing Alec’s scowl to get more pronounced. “No, really. If you glare at the screen any harder, you’ll open a hole in it.”

“Jace, shut up!” Isabelle hissed, elbowing him hard.

As for Alec, he was trying really hard to keep his head cool, or else he would forgo every protocol he knew, laws be damned. Because his only wish currently was to make Camille Belcourt pay with blood, giving her a very slow death.

He wanted to kill her. He really wanted to kill her, deliberately and painfully.

“Alec.”

Alec blinked slowly, back to reality, then turned towards the voice that called him.

“Catarina.”

She wasn’t wearing scrubs like the usual. She wasn’t even with her glamor up. Her blue skin and bright white hair were exposed to all to see at the Ops Center, and for the first time it wasn’t a healer in front of them.

It was a warlock ready to confront the one who hurt her family beyond reality.

Jace gasped, perplexed.

“You called her? We can’t-” He cut himself, then shook his head. “Alec, since when do you put a civilian at risk during a mission? You know it’s against the rules!”

In any other situation, it would’ve been amusing having Jace mentioning laws and rules as if they were something he actually cared for.

But in that moment, Alec didn’t give a single shit.

“I really don’t care, Jace. Cat wanted to come with us, and I would never stop her.” He took his bow from the table and walked past them to give the final orders to all teams assembled and ready to go where Camille was hiding.

“Try to stop me, Shadowhunter.” Cat drawled, staring pointedly at Jace, and soon following Alec.

Jace and Izzy exchanged looks.

They were terrified for their brother.

Usually, Alec was the level-headed, always keeping an eye on them, but for the first time the opposite would be necessary.

They didn’t have at all a good feeling about that mission.

Camille was ready for them.

It was a trap full of demons.

A rift for a hell realm was open.

Alec fell on it.

#shmb2023 #shadowhunters #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #my writing #colorfulwarlock

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suchawannabe56 · 1 year ago

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Better Latte Than Never

This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Mini Bang 2023: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver

CHAPTER FOUR

Alec couldn’t get the image of Magnus on a bike out of his head. He was so distracted that he almost spilt a shot of coffee while preparing an order. Lydia was watching him curiously, wondering what had gotten into her friend.

“Alec,” she started, once the rush had cleared and it was just the two of them.

Alec hummed turning to look at her, an eyebrow raised in question.

“Are you okay? You seem distracted.”

Alec shook his head, dismissing the thoughts of Magnus and the bike Isabelle had mentioned. “I’m fine.”

Lydia smirked at him, “It’s the hot coffee guy, isn’t it?”

Alec coughed, a light blush spreading across his cheeks. Lydia just shook her head.

“Magnus,” Alec eventually said, his voice quiet. “Izzy said his name is Magnus.”

Lydia raised an eyebrow. “How is it that your sister found out his name before you did?”

“They’re friends.”

Lydia was about to say something about that when Isabelle walked in, a bright smile on her face. Alec’s eyes narrowed immediately, he knew that smile anywhere. That was his sister's <i>I’ve done something you’re not going to like because it involves your life</i> smile.

“What did you do?” Alec said in greeting, making some of the other customers look at him in mild concern.

“Why, hello to you, big brother,” Isabelle replied, blinking innocently at him.

Alec rolled his eyes as he proceeded to make her drink. He knew his sister well enough to know that she wasn’t going to tell him what she’d done. He’d have to find out when the time came.

Unfortunately for Alec, the time came a lot sooner than he thought as Magnus walked into the shop just as Alec was handing Isabelle her coffee. Alec stared as Magnus was wearing a leather biker jacket. Alec had seen Magnus in various coloured, very well-fitting suits, which had admittedly not helped with his crush because well, the hot man was wearing a well-fitting suit, there wasn’t much Alec could do to avoid the power of that entire look. This, however, was different. Alec had never seen Magnus in any form of coat other than his suit jacket so seeing him in a sparkly blue and white biker jacket made his heart race and his palms sweat.

“Isabelle,” Magnus greeted, kissing her cheek and Alec promptly turned to prepare the drink, trying to ignore the flare-up of jealousy he could feel.

“Magnus,” Isabelle replied. “Sorry I can’t stay, I really have to study.”

Magnus nodded, “Of course, work is important. Besides, I’m sure your gorgeous brother can keep me company.”

“When did Jace get here?” Alec asked, glancing over at Lydia who gawked at him like he had suddenly grown three heads.

Isabelle laughed, and Alec heard Magnus’s soft chuckle. “I meant you, darling,” Magnus stated, catching Alec’s eye.

Alec blinked and then flushed a deep red as he promptly dropped a shot glass, the sound echoing through the cafe.

“Sorry,” Alec mumbled, heading to the back to grab the supplies to clean up only to be stopped by Lydia.

“I’ve got it. You stay and keep him company.”

Alec glared after her as she disappeared into the back. He took a deep breath and turned around, a small embarrassed smile on his face. He and Magnus stared at each other for a moment before they were pulled back to reality by Isabelle.

“Okay, I’m off.”

“Remember to take small breaks and to eat,” Alec called after her.

“Good advice,” Magnus said, leaning against the counter as Alec made the man’s drink.

Alec hummed, “She’s pretty good at remembering to be honest. I never did.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow in question. “Oh?”

Alec hummed, “I was studying law and when it came up to exam time, I was so focused on the work that I would forget to eat. Izzy and our brother Jace would have to come and drag me away every so often.”

Alec was surprised at how easily he could talk to Magnus like this. That came crashing down when he turned back from the coffee machine and came face to face with the man and his ability to talk suddenly left him. He should have known that looking at Magnus would do that. Alec cleared his throat as he handed the drink over. Before he had a chance to say anything, Magnus spoke.

“So, Alexander, your sister tells me you like motorbikes.”

Alec blinked, “Yes?”

Magnus hummed, pulling his phone from his pocket and scrolling through it before turning it for Alec to see. “This is my baby,” Magnus stated, a smile spreading across his face.

The bike was beautiful, the blue and the white blended together perfectly. But what caught Alec’s eye was the man on the bike. Magnus was straddling his bike, his helmet balanced on the seat in front of him. He was wearing the same jacket he wore to the shop and matching trousers. His eyes seemed to shine as he laughed at the camera and Alec’s heart began to race. Fuck, the man was gorgeous.

“Why thank you,” Magnus replied, putting the phone away making Alec freeze.

“Did I…?” he mumbled, stumbling slightly over the words.

“Yes, darling, you did say it out loud.”

Alec turned red once again, feeling the need to apologise. Before he got the chance though, Magnus spoke.

“I’m heading out of town for the next few days, so I won’t see you until I get back.”

Alec nodded, wondering why the man was telling him this piece of information. Magnus picked up his cup and waved to Lydia who she was standing in the doorway to the office before heading for the door.

“Don’t forget about me, Alexander,” he said, turning back and winking at him before leaving the shop.

Alec watched him leave before banging his head on the counter with a groan. Like he was ever going to forget Magnus, especially in that jacket.

“You know,” Lydia said as she walked past, “I’m sure, if you asked him nicely he’d fuck you while wearing that jacket.”

Lydia cackled as she dodged the cleaning cloth Alec threw at her, as he grumbled about needing new friends under his breath.

#shmb2023

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bloodieash · 1 year ago

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Hello, Oc Bingo buddy it is I @endless-oc-creations here to ask you five questions!

What inspired you to create your ocs Maddie Foxblood and Elle Ravencross?

2. What can you tell me more about them?

3. Do they have a love interest? If so what's your favorite thing about their relationship?

4. Who are their close friends?

5. Do you have a line from one of your wips you want to share?

Have an amazing day!

1.) So because Maddie was a remake of Juliet O'Riley her inspiration would technically be a picture on pinterest describing the differences between sirens and mermaids... how one is made by a love of water and the other is created by violent deaths in the water but as Maddie moved away from the siren thing (and I would one day really like to write a siren based off of said post) the inspiration for the two of them together became Clary's line about Jace and Johnathan being opposite ends of the same experiment. 2.) Oh I have a lot of random facts about Maddie and Elle that are still coming together, but here are a few I know for sure. On the experiment front Elle is the Angel while Maddie is the Demon. When Elle dies the way that Maddie brought her back was by triggering (through their parabatai bond) the angel blood in Elle bringing her back and kicking her healing into over drive. This cost Maddie all but her parabatai rune. Maddie can still be runed now, but they don't last. 3.) So I suck at writing romance so in the actual fic it may not show up as well as in my head, but I do have ships for both of them. 3a.) Elle is head over heels for Izzy. And probably my favorite thing about their relationship is the fact Elle studied science just to impress Izzy. Like here is a girl who is better at social studies and history and she's just like I'm going to learn everything I can about science just 'cause Izzy likes science. The thing is she does actually know a lot about weapons and could have just as easily used that, but she chose learning something new. 3b.) And Maddie is shipped with Jace. The thing I love about them is just how incredibly soft they are together. The way I see them in my head is just soooooo soft. 4.) First and foremost they are each others' best friends. 4a.) Elle also made a few friends while she was stationed in Athens, specifically Mari Stormshade who was there with her when she died. Though, if asked, she'd still say she's closer to the Lightwoods. 4b.) Maddie while exiled to mundane society she was throwing herself at every shadow world thing she could find in the hopes of running into Elle or anyone else really so she wound up doing things (mostly translating texts and stuff of that nature) for Camille which threw her in close proximity of Raphael. They schemed to oust Camille together and if asked Maddie would say he's her closest friend besides Elle. 5.) maybe a couple even if I haven't officially written them down yet. 5a.) "You need to be careful of the Shadowhunters Clary." Maddie warned her voice low. "They have a sink or swim mentality." Clary scoffed. What was that supposed to mean? "And how would you know?" All Maddie had done since Clary had met the shadowhunters was disappear. Even the night Clary's mom had been taken Maddie hadn't been there, but the Shadowhunters had been. "I drowned!" 5b.) "Tell them what you said." Clary's voice was low, dangerous. Maddie wasn't sure what message she was trying to get across, but she knew she wouldn't like it. "Tell them what you said in the other world!" Maddie's skin itched at the order and her jaw clenched. "I said a lot of things Clary. We were there for over twelve hours." "'I've been in love with you since I was ten years old.'" Clary pitched her voice in a mock of Maddie's. Maddie went cold. She knew which conversation Clary was referring to. How much had she heard? Did she know who Maddie had been talking to? Maddie swallowed thickly, but she refused to yield. She could already see Elle, Jace, Izzy, and Alec watching the argument like a sports match of some kind. She couldn't let them know. Couldn't let him know. Not about this. "Half of what I said Clary wasn't even me. Are you telling me you didn't feel it? The other you trying to reassert herself. Trying to take back the life you invaded?" "'We can't do this. You can't do this Jace. Not if you're not serious.'" Clary continued one. Tears pricked at Maddie's eyes, but she refused to shed them.

#ocb2023 #Maddie Foxblood #Elle Ravencross #Shadowhunters oc #tsc oc

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solarisrasa · 2 years ago

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All I Could Bring Myself to Want is You pt 6

A Malec fic canon divergent from the moment Alec hands the Family Ring back to Maryse Lightwood.

Read it here on Ao3

Part five

Jace shifted impatiently, Clary was nearly finished and he was jittery. Magnus had promised to help and Alec had sounded excited. The feelings rolling through the bond were nervous but hopeful and Jace couldn’t remember the last time they’d both felt so close to good. He was trying to allow himself to live in his own body right now, both because it was better for him and because Alec deserved some privacy with Magnus.

Clary was smiling at a girl, touching her and nodding. Jace watched her give the girl a little push and a firm wave.

Then she was walking out, standing in front of him.

“Sorry, my roommate is just...worried.”

Jace smiled, “It’s good to have people who look out for you.”

Clary blinked and Jace worried that had been a little too sincere but then she smiled and nodded, “Yeah. It is. Do you have someone looking out for you tonight, familiar Jace?”

He shrugged, “Well, there’s this girl, though I don’t think she can protect me from much with her noodley painter arms.”

Clary shoved at him, “Hey! Art is hard work!”

“Sure.”

She rolled her eyes, “I was serious though, is there someone you need to check in with since it’s late?”

“Just Alec, my brother. I’m staying with him and his boyfriend, Magnus, to try to help them work some things out.” He watched her closely as he said their names. She nodded and her brows pulled together.

“Did I know them too?”

“Yeah. Not as much, well not Alec as much. He was always...distant. Uh, they said they would help you though, but not for a couple days. Like I said, they're working some stuff out.”

Clary seemed to accept that, “You must be a good brother, if you’re helping them.”

“I’m pretty close to Alec, but it’s...complicated.”

“I’ll take your word for it. You said you thought you could help me with my memory?” She looked hopeful and nervous. Jace sighed.

“I hope I can at least. Uh, let’s find someplace to talk. I’ll ask you some questions and see what we can drag up?”

“Lead the way!”

Jace licked his lips, “Well, I don’t, uh, I don’t know a lot of places?”

“What? Making me pick? What kind of date are you?”

Whatever face Jace made Clary’s teasing expression softened, “Um, how about pizza? There’s a place pretty close that’s open really late.”

“Pizza is great.”

Alec woke with a warm arm pressed across his body and swallowed hard against the emotion that threatened to overwhelm him. Magnus’ breath was soft against his bare shoulder and Alec lifted his head enough to look down at him. His forehead was tucked against Alec, nose brushing the top of his shoulder and his body was curled toward him but not fully touching.

He shifted and Magnus stirred, sleepy gold eyes blinked at him and Alec smiled even as they flipped to brown.

“Morning.”

Magnus hummed and Alec pulled his arm out from between them to wrap it around Magnus instead, hand splayed over his bare back. They were both wearing loose pants or it would’ve been like every other morning before...before.

“Good Morning.” Magnus bumped Alec with his nose, eyes starting to close again and Alec huffed a fond laugh. He squeezed Magnus to him gently.

“I’m going to get up in a minute, start the coffee, see if Jace dragged himself in.”

Magnus grumbled something against his chest and Alec laughed again.

“Sorry, I’ve reset my internal clock without you around to make me lay-in and cuddle.”

He kept his tone teasing and Magnus bumped his forehead against Alec half-heartedly, “Shadowhunter menace.”

“Yeah, I know. I need to check on the other one.”

Magnus groaned but shifted enough that Alec could get up without issue. He really would love to stay and cuddle but he was also eager to start the day and the sooner he could get coffee into Magnus the sooner they could talk more.

Jace was sprawled on the couch, having gotten in late enough that making it all the way to Alec had been too much effort. It helped that the bond was thrumming with peace as Alec had slept beside Magnus.

He started the coffee quietly and then returned to the couch, kneeling and patting Jace’s cheek.

“Wha’ ‘nt ‘ec?”

“Just checking to see if you wanted coffee or to move into a real bed.”

One two-tone eye cracked open and Jace groaned, “Real bed. ‘S early.”

Alec stood up, holding out a hand and Jace took it, his eyes closing again as he trusted Alec to help him up and guide him. Alec was very tempted to walk him into the side table but he could feel how tired Jace was and they had burned enough stamina runes in the last year that he was loath to keep him up now.

“Magnus is still asleep, do you want the guest room?”

Jace’s face scrunched and he pouted a little, shaking his head. Alec sighed fondly, guiding Jace into Magnus’ bedroom and watching his boyfriend, probably, raise his head with a muzzy glare.

“Mrning Blondie.”

“‘Ning M’gnus”

“Right, I’m going to lay you down, then I’m bringing coffee for Magnus.”

Alec nudged Jace until he flopped down beside Magnus who grumbled again and tugged at the sheets. Jace moaned at the better angle and wriggled until he was comfortable, face shoved in the pillow Alec had been using.

Alec couldn’t help the swell of affection at the sight of both of them tucked into bed, Jace’s breathing deepening and Magnus blinking at him with a soft smile.

When Alec came back with coffee for Magnus and himself he found Magnus sitting up in bed and Jace with slitted eyes open.

“Thought you’d be asleep.”

He handed Magnus his coffee and received a grateful smile.

“Wanted to check in with you.” Jace yawned.

“We’re good Jace. Glad that you got to talk to Clary.” Magnus’ voice was heavy with sleep.

“Yeah but, “ Jace shifted to look at Magnus, “Alec’s kinda jittery.”

Two sets of eyes landed on him where he stood by Magnus’ feet and Alec blew on his coffee to avoid them.

“I’ve asked Magnus to go through my memories today.”

Jace’s eyes opened further, “That’s...good?”

“Yeah. Better than trying to talk through everything anyway.”

Magnus cleared his throat, “I have to warn you both, Alexander will be sharing the feelings in those memories with me as well. Since it’s memory impressions it may be muted enough that you will only feel some of it, but you may also experience them as strongly as Alexander or myself. I’m not sure. I have known parabatai before but never done in depth memory work with them.”

Jace nodded, “ That’s fine. I’ll sleep through most of it probably. As long as I know what’s going on it should be alright. I’ll come to you if I think it’s needed.”

Alec felt himself relax a little at Jace’s easy acceptance and shared a small smile with the blonde.

“I’m going to get out of bed now boys. Alexander I’ll meet you in the living room? Let’s allow Jace some rest.”

“Okay.” Alec said around his cup as he turned to wait for Magnus.

He sat on the loveseat, still nervous but glad that Magnus wasn’t making him wait until later in the day and happy that he was keeping Jace looped in. He was sure, as they worked their way back to equilibrium, that they would be less dependent but while they were it was nice that Magnus was accounting for it.

Magnus had dressed slowly and joined Alexander to finish their coffee in companionable silence, his feet tucked against the arm of the couch while he leaned into Alexander’s side.

They had both enjoyed the company but Magnus could feel how Alexander still held himself tighter than he once had. Magnus watched him set his empty cup aside and fold his hands, thumb pressing at his skin.

He sighed, there was no reason to put the memories off. It was going to be exhausting but he knew neither of them would be able to focus on anything else if they tried pushing this back. Not that he wanted to, he was just...nervous. He was fully confident in his magic but he knew it would be intense and even with guidance Alexander was unlikely to be able to completely control which memories they shared.

With a soft touch, Magnus pulled Alexander’s hands apart, rubbing his own thumb over the backs of them.

“This will not hurt, as long as you don’t resist. If there is something you don’t want me to see don’t try to pull away, just focus on a new memory instead. It will be disorienting because it will be like we are both experiencing the moments we visit like we are there. I will see things through your eyes, of course. If it begins to overwhelm you, focus on remembering this moment, me talking to you, and I will break the connection.”

Alexander’s hazel eyes darted to the side and he licked his top lip quickly before looking seriously at Magnus.

“I’m ready. It won’t be pleasant but I need you to see, to know. Let me show you how much you mean to me.”

Magnus thought he should be afraid, after all Alexander had held his heart before and crushed it, but there was a steady sincerity in his eyes where Magnus found his footing. He squeezed Alexander’s hands before releasing them and pressing his palms against his temples, blue light flickering to life.

Looking into soft, trusting eyes, Magnus could feel his heart mend a little more, ready itself a little more to be returned to the only hands that had even learned how to hold it properly.

Memory 1

Alec’s jaw ached from how hard he was clenching his teeth, watching the thing inside of Jace as it looked over all of them with its awful, calculating gaze.

“Why do you want to save Jace? He’s your main competition.”

It’s not true and Alec aches at the way the accusation makes Magnus swallow.

“You may share your bed with him but if your previous Alexander could only have one of us who do you think he’d pick?”

Angels. Alec can’t listen to this, can’t let Magnus listen. He pushes away the guilt that spikes with anger. He doesn’t let his suddenly rolling stomach get to him. It’s an impossible question with an impossible choice.

He let’s Magnus redirect him and ignores the thought that swirls through him.

I don’t know who I’d choose.

He’s caught suddenly, dragged through a splintering landscape of moments: Magnus turning to him quickly, offering a solution, of a pentagram burning on the floor, of relief and terror and a tidal wave of desperation that does nothing against the guilt.

The choice I made.

Memory 2

There’s blood on Magnus’ face, it’s running over his cheek. It’s sluggish since the only thing keeping his heart pumping it is Alec. He can’t feel anything, his world is narrowed down to Magnus’ closed eyes and the feel of his ribs flexing under Alec’s locked hands.

You weren’t supposed to be first.

He moves for Catarina and the world spins.

He’s sitting, hands clasped tightly as he pinches at his skin, next to Magnus’ bed. His head aches from holding himself in check and he wants to curl around Magnus and share his fate, whatever it is. He doesn’t deserve that though. Doesn’t deserve the tears that are threatening.

“This is my fault.”

It is, It is. I made this choice.

He chokes out more, seeking forgiveness, maybe, that he certainly hasn’t earned, will never earn.

“I guess I just thought, maybe, we could, I don’t know, grow old together?”

It’s his most selfish, secret wish. He never wanted to leave Magnus in the first place, but to see Magnus with silver at his temples and proper laugh lines? It had sounded like a forbidden bliss.

The desire is black ooze strangling him now as he holds tight to his hand. He had felt some kind of twisted happiness when he realized that Magnus’ immortality was gone too and he hated it. Alec had been horrified at the price Magnus had paid for him, but he’d thought they could learn to live with it.

Maybe, if they came out of this, they still could.

Angels, please.

He closes his eyes.

He opens them on the balcony outside his office. Magnus is beautiful, heartbreakingly sad in his anger and Alec doesn’t understand how this evening could have already gone so, so wrong.

“But hey, I’m a mundane now, just like you always wanted!”

He almost expects to feel the heat of his own blood pouring out with how the words cut him. He never wanted that, never.

But I was still glad of it.

Maybe Alec did this. He knew it would come at a steep price, freeing Jace, and he’d still let Magnus go. He knew when Magnus had turned up with magic again that it couldn’t be simple, but he’d let it go. Maybe he willed this into being.

Magnus is desperate and beautiful and everything Alec has ever wanted and nothing he deserves. The ring that stays hidden suddenly seems terribly selfish.

I’d do anything to make this right.

Memory 3

Alec calls Jace to his office, he needs to get through this, today, and then he can find an unused bedroom and...something. He doubts he’ll have the kind of time he needs to really feel what he’s done.

Asmodeus was right and he clings to that when Magnus’ crumbled expression is behind every blink. He takes a deep breath, he doesn’t have the luxury of feeling right now, no matter that he can still feel the ghost of their last kiss.

He doesn’t think it’s dramatic to assume it’ll be his last kiss too. He feels like there’s shards of glass where his heart used to be, the organ shattered by his own hand.

Asmodeus was right, Magnus had already regretted his choice and Alec knew that there was no way for them to build a life for them with that as a base. The resentment would destroy them both. This way it was only Alec who would stay ruined.

Jace is guiltless in this but Alec knows him too well, knows that he would try to carry this if Alec let him. He keeps a firm hold on their bond as he hands over the ring, runs over what they’re doing. He can’t let himself slip.

Jace needs him. Clary, his accidental little sister who he wants to strangle as much as he wants to hug, needs him.

I can’t get in the way.

He’s standing next to his mother. She looks soft in the light, her love for him and her concern threatens the stranglehold he has on himself. He loves her so much and a new splinter of pain lances through him, he’s taken something from her too. He’s taken her and Magnus from one another.

Magnus had found so much love in himself, even for Maryse Lightwood and she had eventually embraced him too and Alec had taken that from them with this.

He forced himself to speak, “I never should have asked for this in the first place.”

The ring was a selfish thing, wanting to make Magnus stay with him that way was selfish.

Walking away from her is the most necessary thing in that moment, if he lets her speak, see’s her expression, it’s going to tear down the wall he’s built. People need him.

I can’t do this. I have to.

Memory 4

“First Magnus, now mom.” Izzy sounds hollow. She’s sitting on the edge of his bed and Alec can’t quite focus on her. She sighs and squeezes his hand.

“Alec I’m sorry.”

He’s missing pieces, fundamental parts of him and not the parts that the demons carved out of him under the red scar of the rift. Magnus is...gone. His mother is unreachable. Jace is unconscious in the next bed.

He’s failed all of them and worst of all he’s still here to face it.

The pain drags him under.

He comes up to Catarina Loss glaring at him as she marches into Magnus’ loft to see to the lizard Alec found scratching messages into the glass of his tank.

The room melts and reforms, Lorenzo Rey sniffing as he leaves them. Alec clings harder to his numbness as Catarina faces him again.

“You’re a cruel man, Alec Lightwood.”

He doesn’t react, the truth can’t hurt him and there’s a layer of cotton between him and the rest of the world. The painkillers, even after burning extra Iratze’s and stamina runes he needed them, help to keep a lid on the screaming that’s pressing at the back of his throat.

“I have to go. I told you, I don’t know where he is, only that he should have his magic. I’m sorry.”

Alec can’t unpack the fear that learning Catarina hasn’t heard from Magnus evokes, too many layers of suppressants and an activated fearless rune won’t allow it. He probably won’t feel it for a while, as soon as this one burns through he’ll activate one of the others, he has several now.

Catarina’s features twist and she steps into his space, hand bright with power.

“Cat-”

“Magnus is the best of us and we, I, trusted you to care for him. You sullied that trust. Betrayer , you deserve to live as you will one day die, alone and friendless.”

Her hand sends agony through him, strong enough it overrides the chemical and runic cocktail, lights him up with pain that makes his nose bleed and his chest sear.

He stumbles back from her, gasping as she stares at his chest. Some of the anger in her eyes fades as his ruined shirt exposes how many runes he has active and the bandages still wrapped around his middle.

The mark she’s burned into him is raw and wicked and he thinks he knows what it means.

I deserve this. Now they’ll all know what I am.

He can feel tears blurring his vision and he runs, ignoring Catarina calling his name.

Memory 5

Clary’s letter is surprisingly weightless for something that has brought so much pain. Alec wishes it carried more physical weight, that it didn’t look so innocent where it sits after he pulled it from Jace’s hand.

His parabatai is slumped, staring at nothing, in the chair opposite what is now going to have to be Izzy’s desk and Alec can’t reach out, afraid he’ll trail lines of ruin over what’s left of Jace.

He wasn’t good enough to save anyone.

He flexes his fingers and blinks, suddenly he’s standing with Luke in a mundane morgue. A man offers empty condolences as Alec confirms, the Jane Doe on the slab is his mother. Her face is lovely but the color is gone and she looks like a stranger, even without being able to see the damage from the car that killed her.

She had been just a few blocks from Magnus’. The family ring is in the possessions they give Alec and he hates himself that little more when he can’t bring himself to argue with Luke over who should plan her funeral.

I’ve killed her.

Izzy nearly crushes him with how hard she holds him when he has to tell her and he wraps her in his arms. She wants something from him, he thinks, as she searches his face but he has nothing to give and he’s guiltily grateful when Simon takes her, comforts her. The mark on his chest burns.

He’s on the floor, Jace’s fist raining pain over him and he welcomes it. He can feel blood coating his face and he’s pretty sure something might be broken. Maybe if he lets Jace kill him at least one of them can get some closure.

“C’mon. Again, Jace. C’mon.” He slurs it up at Jace. There’s a forceful tug from their bond and then the wall Alec has fought for starts to leak.

I’m going to destroy him too.

Jace pulls him up and the world spins.

Jace, hand cradling his middle, his intestines visible between his fingers as he falls. Alec’s wild desperate chasing of his death nearly costs someone else everything.

The stars over the institute as Alec talks to nothing, his voice raw as he cries.

“Magnus I love you. Magnus I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I love you.”

The sky hazes into a ceiling through water and Alec knows he needs to just sit up, but he doesn’t want to. There’s a loud noise and a spike of concern in the bond and he forces himself upright. Izzy is in the bathroom doorway, staring at him with wild dark eyes, Jace just behind her.

Magnus is staring at him in a dirty alley and Alec takes the first real breath in a year. He’s still beautiful and Alec’s heart is still his.

Magnus let the connection go, gasping roughly.

“Alexander...Alec.” He pulled his Shadowhunter against him, sobbing as he clung to him and felt the way Alexander shook as he held him just as tightly.

“I didn’t mean...that was more than I wanted...I’m sorry.” The words were broken as Alexander stuttered them into Magnus’ chest.

"I know Alexander." He pressed his lips into Alexander's hair and shushed him softly, just holding him as they both cried.

Magnus had never fathomed the depth of Alexander's devotion, the way that he loved him and how much he wanted to help. The way his father has used that desire disgusted him.

There was so much hurt in his lover and Magnus wished he knew how to unravel it all. He knew it would take time though but he knew where to start, what worried him most.

Underlying all of the suffering was Alexander's belief that he somehow deserved the pain that had been visited on him.

"Alexander, a heart as good as yours deserves all the softness the world has to offer. I am so sorry for how much you have suffered."

"No. I ruined everything, I was supposed to protect you, them, and I just made a mess instead."

Magnus rocked him, "You did the best you could. You may be Nephilim but you are not incapable of mistakes and those mistakes don't mean that you are unworthy. Alexander you are incredible. I am...I am humbled by your love."

Alexander pulled back and his hazel eyes were hopeful and wet, "I am trying to fix it, all that I can."

"I know. Let me help you. Just, let me be here for you. No more secrets."

Alexander nodded, "No more."

Magnus knew he was going to need some time to think about all that Alexander had shared. Especially parts of it he wasn't ready to face, like the ring and all it meant.

"It will take me a while to really...process. I will have questions when I do."

Alexander licked his lips, "I know. I will answer them."

Magnus hummed, "I expected nothing less. For now, let me just hold you."

Alexander relaxed against him without a word.

part seven

#Malec #Malec fanfiction #Shadowhunters #Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood #Jace Wayland #memories #All I want 6 #All I want

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zombiethingy · 1 year ago

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I’ve been tagged by @leollyen back when I just started writing and talking to people on here again. I wanted to revisit the questions and see how my answers changed now that I've got some more fics up and am more actively writing!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

10+1 (one of them is anonymous)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

15,498 (Still not that much, but most of the fics are from the steddiemicrofic challenge, meaning they are between 300-600 words). My (tentative) goal is to reach 20k at the end of the 2023.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

All published works are for Stranger Things but I do have a WIP for Sense8. That didn't change yet. But I'm thinking about doing something for zukki-week (Avatar: the last Airbender) - still need to come up with something...

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

That answer did change a lot! :D

metal, smurfs, and a pink boy (microfic)

But what does it mean? (microfic)

A professional (microfic)

moans, a puddle, and a kilt (more chapter to metal, smurfs, and a pink boy)

Life Changes (microfic)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! (the only one I didn't repond to was spam and that one got reported)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

...portafortuna (It's actually pretty hopeful considering it's theme are major character deaths)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That's a hard one! Most of them have a happy ending, an open ending or are WIPs still... I think I'm gonna go with No more kiddie pool because that's the cutest ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Still not so far.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, kinda. It's always on the more vague and teasing side so far but there are fics who have and, in my opinion, need the E rating.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Still nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. (Still the same)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Same answer as before - No.

There are now two fics with some words and sentences in Italian in there but that doesn't count.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No. But @griefabyss69 wrote continuations for two of my fics! 💜

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Still zukki (Zuko, Sokka, Suki from Avatar: the last Airbender), steddie (Stranger Things) and Nomi and Amanita from Sense8. But I've developed a soft spot for Jesper and Wylan (Shadow and Bone). Also I need to mention that I love lots of ships from OFMD and Shadowhunters!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Still the same one 😞

I've made some sort of chapter planning/outline by now and have one chapter up (i can't live in a fairytale of lies) but the other chapters are still fighting me :(

16. What are your writing strengths?

Still mostly the same: Funky little ideas, vibes and OCs. PLUS being a tease 😉

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Last time I said writing, research and names

Research is still the same - I simply prefer to write based on vibes

Writing got easier, still kinda slow going but I'm struggling to keep the microfics short enough while I struggled to even get to up to the wordcount in the beginning

And I've found a solution to naming OCs by outsourcing the decision via polls xD

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Love it and have done that by now!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Same answer as before. (tl;dr: Stranger Things, Sense8 and whatever I was into as a kid)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Really hard question. I still love to all my young pioneers records (the first one I put on ao3) but I think it's the a metalhead and a pink boy series (it's basically one fic)

---

And I'd like to know what @griefabyss69, @ozais-lobotomist and @thetragicallynerdy have to say (no pressure obviously!) 💜

Also a bit THANK YOU to @wynnyfryd and @steddieas-shegoes for doing the microfic challenge which helped me so much in getting back into writing!!! (Of course consider yourself tagged too if you'd like to answer the questions as well 😊)

20 Questions for fic writers

I’ve been tagged by @leollyen in this post. Thanks for tagging me and giving me an excuse to ramble a bit! And yeah, that’s gonna be an interesting one because I wouldn’t necessarily say I am a fic writer. But here we go: 1. How many works do you have on AO3? 2 (both complete, one is anonymous) 2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 4'733 (like I said, not really a fic writer) 3. What fandoms do you write for? Both published works are for Stranger Things but I do have a WIP for Sense8. 4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Uhm well, the anonymous one has less kudos than the other one… 5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I think I would or at least try to because as a reader I like to get answers to my comments! 6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Definitely [redacted], that one’s anonymous for reasons 7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The other one obviously. And I think that it would also keep up if we considered my WIPs too - but then again, none of those really have an ending… 8. Do you get hate on fics? Not so far. 9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I’m thinking about it. I’ve definitely written smut in original things but not yet in fanfic. But one WIPs chapter is literally titled ‘horny’ so far - so either I’ll remove that idea/story line somehow or at least write fade to black… (Or the most likely scenario happens and I’m never finishing that fic…) 10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Nope. 11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of. 12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No. But I’ve thought about translating my own writing - the things I’ve written (over) ten years ago in my first language. I actually like the ideas behind them! But also none of them are finished and it’s been a while. I’m also not sure how well the language switching would work out. Rewriting in English would probably be easier. 13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No. 14. What’s your all time favorite ship? In general or to write for? In general it’d be zukki (Zuko, Sokka, Suki from Avatar: the last Airbender). To write for is harder… I’ve written the most for steddie (Stranger Things) but my heart would probably go with Nomi and Amanita from Sense8. 15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? A longer steddie fic that’s been a WIP since the beginning of the year. It’s supposed to be kind of a slow burn and therefore needs to be longer and chaptered. But I’ve only got 1.5 short chapters so far from the 5 or 6 I think it should be at… 16. What are your writing strengths? Funky little ideas, vibes and OCs. 17. What are your writing weaknesses? Writing - as in it’s so slow going that I don’t really write at all. Research - don’t really have the spoons to do that which makes my writing really vage whenever I should have research something. Names - I’ve got all these OCs but most of them stay nameless… 18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I love to read it! Especially if it’s one of the languages I understand or it’s translated/made clear by the context. 19. First fandom you wrote for? First published: Stranger Things But I started writing the Sense8 one first and I may have written other stories as a kid/teen before I really understood the concept of fandom 20. Favorite fic you’ve written? It would probably be either the Stranger Things or the Sense8 WIP but since they are WIPs I’ll go with the one that’s published and not anonymous 🙃 I’d like to tag @lostghosts and @csinnamon-fox - only if you feel up to it and no pressure! But I’d be interested in your takes on those questions :)

#tag game #φ stuff

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paracosm-draw · 2 years ago

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@malectober day 5 ! Almost one week done !

Day 5 : Sandalwood

Warnings : you know the deal now, you receive a super angsty fic and I receive your offended tears while you hate me. Seems like a fair trade.

______________________________________________________________

His scent was still on the sheets.

Alec buried his nose in the pillow and inhaled deeply the sandalwood scent that was beginning to disappear.

A week almost passed since he broke up with Magnus, giving up his aching heart to ensure the hapiness of his warlock. Magnus hadn't even tried to come back to him, he had made sure of that by using his most cruel words. And since then, he felt miserable.

He tried to reassure himself that it was a blessing in disguise. They couldn't both be happy until Magnus got his powers back. So he preferred to be the one who suffered to avoid seeing his warlock wretched for the rest of his life.

Now, all he had left was his scent.

Sitting up in bed, he ran his hands over his face and tried to summon the courage to face a new day. As Magnus had left one of his soft silk robe on the back of his chair, he put it on over his sleepwear and went to the bathroom to freshen up. The robe had even more of his scent than the sheets.

He remembered the first time he had smelled this scent. It was when they had first met, when the warlock's barriers had been corrupted and Alec had flown to the help of this complete stranger, unaware that he had just met his soulmate. The love of his life.

The first and only one. Because shadowhunters love once, fiercely.

He had reached out to take the hand the stranger was holding out to him, and that was when he had first smelled it. Sandalwood. He found out it had a name at least two months later. Now the smell was closely intertwined with the memories of their relationship.

The first time he had entered Magnus' loft, he had smelled it again. It floated around him, familiar and heady. Soon it began to haunt him night and day, every time the warlock brushed against him or got too close to talk to him. Even when he tried to push it away, it returned in his dreams.

Then, by a complete miracle he still could not quite figure out, Magnus was his. He shared his life, he shared his bed, and he left a sandalwood scent in every place he went, which had been an integral part of Alec's life for several months now. Even his fucking training clothes smelled like sandalwood. Not that he was complaining, but...

Sandalwood had always been associated with happy moments in his life. Their first meeting, their first kiss, their first time. But also the peaceful mornings when he woke up with Magnus in his arms, the sleepless nights spent running their lips over each other's bodies, the sweet comforting evenings after a tiring day, even the lonely nights that were not so lonely when his smell permeated the sheets.

That scent was his anchor.

Now the scent had began to fade away. Like his hapiness. Like his hope.

But never his love.

He had promised to love Magnus until he has to die. He cannot love anyone else. He doesn't want to. Perhaps it sounded like a stubborn decision to someone other than him. Who would choose to live unhappily all their life?

But giving up his love for Magnus would mean giving up all the efforts he had made to make him happy. It would mean having to get used to a different scent again. It sounded more like a chore than a blessing.

Maybe he'd get his chance in another life. Who knows ? Soulmates were supposed to survive death and burn together until the end of time.

For now he still had some sandalwood on the sheets, and he would learn to live with it.

#malectober #malec #malec fanfic #angst #magnus bane #alexander lightwood #shadowhunters #shadowhunters tv

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onetimetwotimesthreetimess · 3 years ago

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Okay time to read the preciousness that is your malec fic. Let's go. A list of bits and pieces I liked a loooooot (because why not???):

The title. Something so soft and malec about it.

Me reading your first fic which is almost 5k words - "stooormy you look like mommy baby"

Alec rubbing off (mundane habits!!) on Magnus is something that can be so personal.

His beautiful Alec >>>

I am once again emotion about malec letting Max's horns hurt them because they don't wanna stop cuddling

Even with his bedhead. Especially with the bedhead. - this coming from Magnus - I am Fashion - Bane. Wow.

Sometimes his husband said his name as if it was a sentence in itself. - I am once again telling you this was some good shit

"Really. And what was the plan?"" Fuck The Clave." - PLEASE

Every time Magnus uttered a curse word or was about to use one, the boy would somehow materialize out of thin air. - canon

Max being a ball of energy is SO canon idk why.

Children petting their parents' heads >>>

"I am not grumpy." Alec shot back. "Yes, you are," Rafael turned and retorted back. Always onboard to give shit to Alec. - I LOVE YOU KING

He had ended up remembering only a few words. The ones that mattered the most. In Spanish and Indonesian. For nights when Magnus and Rafael could only be comforted in their mother tongues. - beautiful.

Magnus being the crazy parent? *checks notes* yeah okay checks out

That Jace scene owns my soul just so you know ;)

While Max had clung to Alec that night, the shadowhunter boy had crawled in Magnus's arms and whispered to him that he would grow up and become the best shadowhunter one day to protect his dad. His husband had worried that maybe Rafael felt that way because Alec had saved him, and he felt the need to pay him back. But with time, they realized that their son felt that way because of the simple fact that he loved Alec. And well, Magnus could understand that. - I KNOW IT'S LONG BUT IT'S BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN SO LIKE SUE ME

impotent - LMAO MAX

"I'm also the father of my children, Magnus. You're not special." - sassy Alec I bow down before thee

Simon asking Alec for advice on how to be a good husband - PLEASE MY HEART (ps - headcanon that Jace finds out and gets offended. Simon: You are not even a husband yet! Jace: WOW WAY TO CHANGE THE TOPIC, LOVELACE!)

You don’t have to be the best. You just have to be better. - lovely advice <3

"You wouldn't be the person I fell in love with if you didn't drop everything to help other people." Alec grabbed his face and brought both their foreheads together. "I love all that you are, Magnus Bane. Never apologize for being you." - ALEC YOU STEALTH ROMANCE ATTACKER

"Let me look at you. I missed home." - LOVE ME A GOOD PARALLELS BRO

Okay. I only left a small comment on ao3 but as you can see, I loved this fic very much.

Side note: Since I have been writing a lot, I haven't really had the time to read fanfiction - which I really miss doing. I have forgotten what it felt like to read it. To be blown away by someone's words and wonder how tf it's not canon. To grin into my pillow. To fall in love with my faves a little bit more.

I missed it so much. Thank you for making me feel those things again. I feel blessed - and grateful <3

A gif to capture how I felt throughout this whole damn thing:

Dani my love I have actual tears reading this I shit you not.

I can't believe you made a list aaaagh my heart. This is the sweetest thing and not to sound dramatic but I will cherish this list with my life

Your reax to everything you mentioned aaaah uwu. It's honestly a little overwhelming to see that people read my words and noticed these small things I added gosh.

That Jace and Simon HC is top tier lmao I accept.

Also, the fact that you're not able to read ff these days and my fic was able to make you feel CAN YOU PLS NOT MA'AM. my mom is asking why I'm grinning and crying looking into my phone. I’m brown pls I’m not allowed to do that skskskks

Thank you so much. I have said it before and I will say it again. I am love you.

#mutuals #Dani <3 #my writing

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alexanderlightweight · 2 years ago

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I am tired. I mean I did work 12 hours today but I’m just like bone deep exhaustion and I want to pass out but also write.

And Cat is amazing okay. I love Cat and Ragnor and Magnus’ dynamic and I will forever be salty that we got half the casts girlfriends on the show (I’m looking at you terrible seelie queen and Heidi) unnecessarily and we didn’t get more Ragnor and Cat. Like they could have flash backed Ragnor or brought him back or anything. And Cat was deprived of showing off her glory and wisdom.

Snippet of unnamed fic

—

“A moment, lovely.” Magnus says and accepts the call.

“Yes, Cat? Why on earth are you calling, it’s your day off?” And Magnus has to pull the phone away from his ear as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “They couldn’t handle being quiet for twenty minutes?” Magnus asks, and signs in irritation, “well did it work? Because I’m busy and they can either simply stop breathing and see if that helps or continue to hold their tongues. I have more important things to take care of than their need for gossip.”

And Magnus rolls his eyes as Cat mutters threats she doesn’t actually mean.

“Catarina, you would never set my library on fire. You’d be much more likely to drunkenly try to abscond with my medical texts, like that one time in Sweden.”

Alexander snorts in his lap and he’s looking up at Magnus softly, like he’s the best thing to see.

Which Magnus knows, but it’s nice to be visibly appreciated.

He preens and his thumb passes over Alexander’s tempting mouth.

“No, I am not busy with my ‘flavor of the month’.” Magnus adds air quotes, knowing it makes his shadowhunter laugh. “Alexander is moving in and we need to pick out his things.” Alexander looks startled and a little wary and Magnus shushes him with a single look. “Darling, I can see your grumpy pout under that lovely smile of yours. You can keep what you have at your place for emergencies and I can get you all new things for mine.”

And Magnus delights at being able to dress Alexander in whatever he wants.

Alec is squinting up at him, eyes shards of peridot and Magnus summons an oak tree to shade them, wanting to enjoy Alexander's hazel eyes under the dappled and soft light of leaf filtered sun.

“Oh yes, Cat.” He says to the silence on his phone, “sorry. The sun got in the way.”

“Does it still exist?” Cat asks, in a snarky tone that Magnus would appreciate so much more if directed at anyone else.

“Of course.” Magnus says immediately and then frowns, “Hyde park may be missing an English oak. I almost went with a weeping beech, but I was worried the shade would be too strong.”

Catarina makes a noise like Ragnor’s incredibly ancient —bordering on heirloom— tea kettle.

“Magnus.” She groans and she sounds in pain, “why?”

And Magnus wonders how he hasn’t made himself clear.

“I was missing out on the wonder of Alexander’s eyes because the sun was in the way.” Magnus says slowly. “So shade was required.” And Cat finally seems to get it as she says nothing else for a moment.

“Your Alexander, huh?” She says leadingly, “I think you owe me brunch and some bottomless mimosas as we catch up. I’d heard some chatter but didn’t pay it mind since you didn’t say anything directly.”

And Magnus rolls his eyes but hums, agreeing to it, because he and Ragnor make it a point to argue with Cat as little as possible.

She is nearly always right, and gets very smug about it.

#shadowhunters #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #immortal husbands #shadowhunters au #lumine writes #catarina loss

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imherongraystairstrash · 2 years ago

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Hiii love your fics please would you write again gabrily teasing each other? I love th way you portray them

Thank you so muchh I'm so glad you enjoy them! I love writing them!

Context: this is part of a fic I've been writing since Chain of Iron came out (it's after the Leviathan attack), but it's so long, I never got around to finishing nor publishing it. But I'm glad it's finally going to be read by someone other then myself!

...

“What was it like to live in Wales?” Kit asked.

His head was resting on Cecily's shoulder as they waited outside of the infirmary. His soft, delicate curls tickled her neck.

“It was lonely.” Cecily said. “I didn’t have anybody to keep me company. All I did was play the harp.” She kissed to top of his head. “I’m much happier here, with my family.”

“I like it when you play the harp.” Kit said after a while.

“I know, my darling. I’ll play it for you, if you like.”

Kit shook his head. “It’s okay.”

But the more Cecily thought about it, the more she wanted to. “You know what? It’ll be good for us. It will take our minds off of it.”

She ruffled Kit’s hair and stood up. She shifted Alexander so that he rested on her other hip and offered her hand for Christopher to take.

…

Cecily sat down behind the harp in the music room of the institute and sighed, looking at her boys who were sitting on the floor to her left. Alexander was practically asleep in Kit’s crossed legs, but her older son looked up at her with eyes that looked like amethysts in the witchlight lamps.

She quickly plucked some strings from a couple of octaves to check if they were in tune. The Institute music room wasn’t too humid or dry, to avoid damaging the instruments, therefore many of the instruments didn’t usually get out of tune. Not only that, but Harps rarely got out of tune to begin with, so it came to no surprise that the strings sounded as they should. Good riddance, too, since tuning a harp was a living nightmare.

Cecily ran her nails softly through the strings so that they made a soft sound.

“What should I play?” She asked Kit.

“The twisty one.” He said, humming a little part of it.

Cecily smiled, knowing exactly which song he meant, and began plucking the first measures of Debussy’s Deux Arabesques.

Kit nodded and closed his eyes.

She continued letting herself concentrate on the task of playing, on thinking about not the notes that she was playing, but on what notes were to come. She concentrated on bringing her foot down on the paddle and leaning forward to reach the lower octaves.

Though she’d been playing this song since she was a girl, she couldn’t play the entire 10 minutes of the song without sheet music to guide her, so she skipped a couple of sections that were foggy in her memory. What was good about having played the harp so long was that she was familiar with how to transition, so that one who was unfamiliar with the song wouldn’t guess that she was altering it. She reached the part of the song (towards the ending) that she remembered vividly. Because of how delicate it was, she used to play it as a lullaby when little Christopher couldn’t sleep, while Gabriel paced around the room with him in his arms, hummed softly alongside the harp. Cecily’s mind began conjuring those memories, remembering them with a sudden clarity; the way Gabriel’s hair was muzzled from sleep, how she could barely keep her eyes open and her fingers moving. But most of all, she remembered how when Christopher had finally gone to sleep, they’d kiss the top of his head, put him to sleep and tumble into their own bed, exhausted. Even then, when they had been so tired they couldn’t even speak, Gabriel kissed the wedding rune on her forearm, and then her forehead, like he did every night.

She didn’t weep at this memory. She smiled at it, because it could never bring her anything but joy. As shadowhunters, there was always a possibility you would lose those close to you. Cecily and Gabriel have come to terms with the fact that they might not grow old together like they want to. Cecily is content with the fact that she was able to have a family with him, to raise at least two wonderful children together and have a third, though unexpected, beautiful son as well.

…

It was later in the night and Kit had gone to James and Cordelia’s new house with Thomas. Cecily was thankful of that, because there was no point in him staying here waiting for Gabriel to wake up. It was better to be distracted, because distractions meant you didn’t worry.

Cecily didn’t want to worry, but she also didn’t want to be distracted, which was quite a predicament she was in.

She sighed and rested her head on Gabriel’s shoulder. She could see Alex from where he was sleeping at the foot of Gabriel’s infirmary bed. She smiled because she could see a little bit of her father in him: something about the shape of his lips. She looked up to the ceiling. Sometimes she didn’t like to be reminded of her parents, because it made her too sad. Though, she reminded herself, that mouth shape did not belong to her father now: it was purely Alex’s, because her father’s body didn’t exist anymore. Not after it had been burned, it’s ashes scattered across the mountains of Wales, just like he would have wanted. Cecily could smile at that.

Other than his smile, she liked to think that Alex looked like his father, though everyone tells Cecily that he takes after her. Their darling Kit is the who resembles Gabriel the most, though she would have loved for one of them to inherit his lovely green eyes. Of course, they’ll never know until Alex reaches a certain age; Matthew Fairchild had light blue eyes until the age of five, where they darkened considerably, so one never truly knows.

“It would be a shame to let your eyes go to waste, Gabriel.” Cecily sighed, looking up at him. “I didn’t have any idea my blue eyes would dominate with such an unwavering hand. If Alex ends up with blue eyes as well, perhaps we should have an—Oh my darling, your hair is in complete disarray. You must look presentable, at least.”

Cecily stood, brushing his hair with her fingers, with the intension of tidying it up.

…

Gabriel regained consciousness, the last thing he expected was to be having his hair brushed. He opened his eyes about half an inch and saw his wife, oblivious to the fact that he was awake, fussing with his hair. She had her bottom lip drawn in between her teeth, his eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration.

“Why am I not surprised?” Gabriel mumbled.

Cecily gasped, and drew back in surprised, her hand poised for attack. As soon as she realized it was Gabriel who had spoken, she rushed back to his side, reaching to grab the hand closest to her.

“Oh, Gabriel darling, how do you feel.” Concern filled her eyes.

Gabriel brushed her knuckles with his thumb, “Relax Cecy, I’m quiet alright.”

She nodded, reaching up to cup his face on her hands and kissed his forehead.

He smiled at her before becoming rigid. “Is everybody else alright? Anna, Kit, Thomas–”

“Yes, yes there were no casualties in the battle.” Cecily said, taking his hand in both of her own once more. With shaking hands, she lifted his own to her lips, kissing his scarred fingers with more tenderness than Gabriel though possible.

He tried to pull her in towards him, but winced at the movement, finding that he was limited by his extensive injuries.

Cecily noticed this. “You snapped six ribs and bruised a couple more.” she informed him, “Your arms are miraculously unharmed, save large bruising and minor fracturing, though your left arm was dislocated, as was your collarbone. You’ll have to wear a cast for a week.”

Gabriel pressed his lips together.

“Well, if you don’t like it, how

Gabriel was slowly blinking, his body easing back into calm.

“Well, if you don’t like it, perhaps you’ll think twice next time before throwing yourself head-first at demons.”

“I think I’ll consider it.” He said.

Cecily rolled her eyes, though she leaned in closer to Gabriel. He leaned forward as well, kissing her softly. He couldn’t help but smile.

“You idiot,” she said suddenly, pulling away. “Don’t you dare smile. You scared me half to death.”

He nudged her cheek with his nose. “You’ve done the same to me. On several occasions, mind you.”

“It’s different.” Cecily said, crossing her arms.

“How so?” Gabriel challenged.

“You expect it from me.”

Gabriel pressed his lips together. “That’s highly unfair.”

“Well, life is unfair, so I suppose you’ll have to take that up with the Angel.” Cecily said, begrudgingly taking his hand again.

Gabriel shook his head. “You’re impossible.”

“I’m incredible.”

Gabriel didn’t deny it, because it was true, but he also didn’t admit it because he didn’t want to inflate Cecily’s ego; she was still a Herondale at heart, after all.

“Alex shouldn’t have to be here.” Gabriel said, looking at their youngest child.

Cecily lay her head on his shoulder softly, even though it was the uninjured one. “He insisted on staying. Couldn’t be persuaded into going to sleep. He wanted to be here when you woke up.”

Gabriel could feel what she said deep in his heart. Before he had children, he couldn’t imagine the love a parent holds towards their child. It was like having a piece of you and a piece of the person you loved most mix into a single person, that was more perfect than you could imagine. perhaps the best part of it was raising them. Seeing how each day they grew a little bit more, the way they look to you for help or run to you when they’re scared. Perhaps the most beautiful thing is that Gabriel’s children loved him back.

He’d loved his father with everything he had, and Benedict had only left him disappointed. Gabriel was proud that Alex loved him enough that he wanted to stay by his side while he was injured. That he’d given all his love and that it was finally reciprocated by his wife and children. It made the wait worth it.

Cecily nudged him lightly with her shoulder, “We should probably wake him up.”

Gabriel shook his head. “Let him sleep. He’ll wake up soon enough.”

“Alright, but if he gets angry that nobody woke him, the blame will be solely placed on your shoulders.” Cecily got up and filled a glass of water. “Also, you must drink something before you become dehydrated.”

She brought the glass close to his lips and Gabriel pulled away. “You don’t need to do that. I can hold the glass myself.”

Cecily lifted an eyebrow.

Gabriel sighed. “Fine, but don’t make me chug the entire glass like you did last time. I almost drowned.”

“Don’t be ridiculous; I’m not going to drown you.”

She brought the glass to his lips and tilted the glass upwards. The water was cold and Gabriel could only drink a few mouthfuls before it began to hurt. Of course, when he tried to pull away, Cecily tried to get him to drink more. Gabriel turned his face away, forcing her to lower the glass.

“Oh, Gabriel, that’s not nearly enough.” She said, frowning at how much water was left in the glass.

“The water is freezing! I can’t exactly drink it all in one go.” Gabriel said. “Also, that is the last time I’m letting you do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because every time I let you, I might as well be signing my death warrant!”

Cecily huffed. “I would never kill you. I need you for the bed.”

Gabriel smirked at her.

“Not like that Gabriel Lightwood! Lord, you’re such a boy. I meant because you body heat warms up the bed.”

“Fair enough. But also a little bit of the other thing.”

Cecily rolled her eyes. “I’m not answering that.”

“And why is that?”

“Because there is a child sleeping a meter away from us, and if he just so happens to overhear this conversation, I would rather not explain it to him.”

Gabriel laughed, and then immediately winced at the flash pain. “Those bloody tentacles.”

Cecily looked at him sympathetically. “It might take a couple of days before you’re released from the infirmary.”

“Oh no, your bed warmer.” Gabriel said, with a grin.

“Those were the first thoughts that came to my mind, actually.” She said, kissing his cheek. “But I supposed I would have had to—”

“PAPA!” Alex said, sitting up.

Gabriel grinned at him and opened his arm to him, “Alexandros,” he said, “Defender of men.”

Alex laughed and threw himself at his father hugging him tightly.

Gabriel bit his lip in pain, but loved Alexander too much to ask him to hug him softer. Gabriel rested his cheek on the top of his son’s head and saw Cecily looking at both of them, her eyes smiling along with her lips. Gabriel smiled back at her and brushed a stray strand of hair that was getting in her eyes with the hand that wasn’t hugging Alex.

Alex looked up at him, his eyes filled with excitement. “Papa! I saw you fight the demon! You chopped off a lot of tentacles. Almost one hundred! Until you got caught.”

Gabriel laughed and ruffled his hair. “Soon you’ll be defeating demons. But unlike me, you’ll be extra careful not to get caught, right?”

Alex nodded with wide eyes. “I’ll slay all of the demons.”

Cecily laughed, “Yes, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. You still have a lot of growing up to do.”

Alex frowned, though Gabriel and Cecily both smiled. However unplanned he may have been, Alex came at the perfect time for Gabriel and Cecily; the thought of Anna and Christopher being all grown up already would have made them a little lonely. For course, they had each other’s company, but Alex brought a semblance of youth back to them. He brought out an energy in them they didn’t know still existed, deep down inside of them.

“Can I sleep here with Papa tonight?” Alex asked Cecily.

Cecily frowned. “Your going to abandon me? I have to sleep by myself?”

Alex looked at her innocently. “You can sleep with Kit.”

Cecily’s jaw dropped, pretending to be hurt by his comment.

“Or Anna.” Alex added.

Gabriel laughed out loud. Cecily shook her head. “Of course you can sleep here.”

She didn’t mention that she’d have to move him once he fell asleep, since the infirmary bed wasn’t exactly large enough for anymore than one person to sleep in comfortably.

Alex smiled widely and Gabriel nudged him with his elbow. “At least try to hide your glee from your poor mother.” He said, taking her hand and pressing a kiss on the back of it. He looked at her as he did it, with a look that made Cecily blush like she was a little girl again.

Gabriel grinned at that, clearly pleased with himself, causing Cecily to stick her tongue out at him.

Sorry for the bad ending, it took me ten minutes of writing and rewriting before I decided to leave it at this.

Tagging: @tsccreatorsnet @atla-lok143 @rinadragomir @youngreckless @autumnangel20 @julemmaes @cupcakesandkittens @no-scones-allowed @ninacarstairss @stxr-thxif @icouldnotask @jordeliasupremacy @cordelia-cardale @will-effing-herondale @axoloteca @heronstairs2014 @ilovemanicures @ti-bae-rius @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @readersconfessions812 @nightshade3465 @livvyheronstairs @zemiraa @proudtobealuthor @neurogliadudette @theenchanteddreamer @cheeseandmacarons @shadowhunting-hoolingans @writeordie-4 @amchara @myangelbach @livingformyself @dancing-under-the-moon @julescarstairs @wouldyouknowmeblind @grace-lightwoodd @livingformyself @ilikebooksandtvshows

If you want to be on my tag list, or if you changed your url recently and your not in the tag list anymore, let me know! Also, if you want to be removed, send me a dm! I won’t be offended in the slightest :) Oh, and if you asked to be on the tag list and you’re not on it, please let me know <3

#cecily lightwood #gabriel lightwood #tsc #tlh #cecily herondale #tsc fanfic #christopher lightwood #cecily x gabriel #anna lightwood #lightwoods #tlh fic #chain of iron #chain of iron spoilers #coi #choi fic #alexander lightwood #alex lightwood

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thechangeling · 3 years ago

Text

She burns like rum on a fire

Why did I do this to myself ughhhhh?

So @adoravel-fenomeno and I were talking about Kit potentially getting into an abusive relationship given that he's statistically likely too given his roots. So now I give you this fic! Sorry. Kit is using he/him in this fic because he hasn't really gone on his gender quest yet.

The title is from Cherry Wine by Hozier. I reccomend you listen to Cherry Wine and Trauma by NF while reading this.

Cw: Mentions of physical and verbal abuse, abusive, controlling behavior, negative self talk and extreme denial. Also brief mention of blood.

2013

Don't cry.

Don't cry Kit told himself over and over inside his head as he tried to get a hold of his breathing. As he lay on his bed at 2 in the morning, desperately refreshing his conversation with Autumn.

Autumn or as his best friend Janessa liked to call her "the virus" was Kit's girlfriend. His very first. A mundane with the sight. They had been dating for a few months now. When they had first gotten together everything was amazing, it so it seemed.

They had some much in common and they had fun together. Autumn was hot, funny and charasmatic. She had this way of making him feel like the only person in the room. She showered him with gifts and complements that made Kit finally feel worthy for the first time in his life.

But as time went on things shifted. Autumn insisted on spending almost ever waking second with him. Kit didn't mind at first, he loved hanging out with her. But he missed his parents and his sister, and he knew they missed him too. Whenever they had family movie night, or they wanted Kit to watch Mina, Autumn threw a fit. She insisted that he was ignoring her.

She didn't want him seeing Janessa either, or Nessie as Kit called her for short. Autumn always insisted that she was plotting to steal Kit away from her, which was ridiculous but nothing could change Autumn's mind when she was in a mood. So Kit had found himself blowing Nessie off to hang out with Autumn and making excuses for it.

Kit always felt super guilty for making Autumn so upset. He tried to get out of his agreements if it to stop her from crying but sometimes Tessa and Jem wouldn't let him. It was frustrating when they didn't understand. She would rage for awhile, calling Kit stupid and worthless. Sometimes she would make comments about him being adopted, telling him that Tessa and Jem didn't really love him and they only saw him as a free babysitter for their real child.

She would make jokes about all kinds of things. How Kit wasn't a real shadowhunter, his weight, his past, his bisexuality, his ADHD. Kit knew that Autimn didn't really mean anything by it. It was nothing personal and she didn't really mean it. She loved him. And he loved her.

Tonight had been different though. His grades had taken a turn for the worst because he had been blowing of the tutoring sessions the school had payed for as a part of his accommodations. Because he had been spending that time with Autumn. Kit knew it was a bad idea to miss those, but his girlfriend needed him. She didn't have anybody else. She couldn't count on her parents like he could, and she didn't really have any friends.

But Kit was in big trouble. Tessa and Jem were mad. The school was mad. People were saying that Kit was ungrateful.

Ah yes because every disabled person should just bend down and kiss the feet of every person that deigns to give them what they're legally entitled to.

But Kit knew that he had really screwed up this time. He tried to explain to Autumn that he couldn't see her as often as he used to anymore because he needed to fix his grades. And she absolutely lost it. Which he had been expecting.

However what Kit hadn't been expecting this time was for her to hit him.

And she hit him hard. Punched him straight in the nose. And sure it wasn't that big of a deal. Kit was a shadowhunter and he was pretty much used to being hit. But he hadn't been expecting it.

And there was just so much blood.

Autumn of course instantly apologized profusely. She kissed him over and over and told him that she loved him and she didn't mean to. And Kit knew she was telling the truth but-

But he still felt a sinking feeling in his chest that he couldn't explain.

But Kit had applied an iratze, wiped off the blood, and now everything was as good as new. When he had arrived back home, his parents had noticed anything or asked him any questions.

Now he was lying awake at 2 in the morning, filled with guilt and worry as he waited for Autumn to text him back. He gnawed on his bottom lip anxiously as he tried not to over think things.

Maybe she was still mad at him? Was there something else Kit was supposed to say or do? Or maybe he should just leave her alone for awhile?

It was maddening.

Kit turned off his phone and threw it down in frustration, pulling his giant red and black flannel over his shoulders and curling in on himself. He felt strangely exhausted, but unable to sleep. His nose and left eye socket still throbbed a little despite the fact that they should be healed.

Kit thought about using another iratze but his steele was across the room and he couldn't bring himself to stand up to go get it.

God he really was pathetic. Maybe he deserved this. Tears welled up in Kit's eyes.

Don't cry. Don't cry.

This time Kit couldn't hold it back. So he let himself cry. Tears came streaming down his cheeks as he tried to muffle his sobs with his hand. Deep down he knew it was his fault. It was always his fault.

But with Autumn he had really tried. Sure he wasn't perfect but Kit really cared about her. And it wasn't good enough. He wasn't good enough.

Kit couldn't help but think of the last time he felt like this. The last time he was rejected. He had been careful about trying to keep all thoughts of Ty Blackthorn out of his head for awhile. Autumn was a good distraction, even when she was screaming obscenities at him. It was still a distraction.

Kit closed his eyes and conjured the memory of holding Ty up on the roof. If he squeezed his eyes tightly enough, Kit could still feel the softness of his hoodie and the slight tickle of Ty's dark hair against his skin. He could conjure the smell of Ty's skin and the way he had trembled slightly against Kit's body.

I should have kissed him. Kit mused, hugging himself tightly. Just once. Even if Ty had pushed him away in disgust, it would have been worth it. Just to know what it felt like.

Suddenly from the bottom of the bed, Kit's phone lit up with a call. He scrambled to grab it, thinking it was Autumn, but it was actually Janessa. Kit cleared his throat, trying to make his voice sound normal as he answered the phone.

"Why are you calling me at 2 am Nessie?"

"The better question is why are you still awake at 2 am," she pointed out, sounding smug. "I'm a vampire. Creature of the night remember? It's kinda prime time for me Kit Kat."

Kit smiled as he felt the previous angst wash away. "Yeah fair enough. But still, why are you calling me?"

Kit heard her sigh into the phone. "Well honestly because this is probably the only time you're free now a days," she said spitefully. "You know thanks to she-who-must-not-be-named." Kit rolled his eyes.

"That's my girlfriend you're talking about, Janessa!" He snapped.

"Well your girlfriend's a total bitch!"

Normally Kit would argue with her and tell her that she was way off base. That Autumn wasn't so bad and that she was trying. That she loved him. But today he just couldn't.

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "We got into another fight tonight," he admitted. "Just a few hours ago actually."

"I'm sorry love," Janessa murmed. Nessie wasn't British. She was actually Canadian. But she had moved around the world with her previous band before settling in Devon and leaving them to go solo. She had picked up on some British expressions though.

"I wish you weren't going through this. But Kit, you gotta break up with her! She's bad news!"

Kit rested his face against the palm of his left hand. "I can't," he groaned.

Janessa let out a frustrated yell on the other end of the phone. "What the hell are you planning on doing Kit!? I mean are you just gonna wait into she hits you or what?" She spat.

"She already did," Kit responded instantly without missing a beat.

He gasped and slapped a hand to cover his mouth. Kit had no idea why he actually told her. Impulsivity maybe? Or maybe he just needed to get it out. But he instantly regretted it.

There was a long uncomfortable silence on the other end of the phone. Kit was just about to ask Janessa where she went when suddenly she spoke.

"I'm coming over."

Kit tried to protest but she hung up on him.

Before he had time to panic or scream or throw something, there was an aggressive tapping on his window. Of course. Janessa had vampire speed. He looked up to see Nessie perched on his windowsill looking solem.

Her long black curly hair was pulled into a high ponytail and she wore what by her standards was probably a casual outfit. A black long sleeved low cut crop top and white ripped skinny jeans tucked into thigh high heeled leather boots. And of course, she wore a full face of makeup. Even after the facial feminization surgery she was still a little insecure about going out without makeup on.

Nessie banged on his window again, more impatiently and Kit jumped up to let her in. She landed on his bedroom floor with the grace of a cat, making no sound. She stared at him silently with an expression that Kit found hard to decipher.

"Show me where," she whispered in that deep raspy voice of hers. She reached for his face and Kit let Janessa cradle his face with her hands and tried not to wince as her cold skin came into contact with his.

He shook his head. "No you won't see it, I put an iratze on it already. It's done." Janessa scoffed and stepped back.

"You know the damage isn't just skin deep Kit," she said pointedly. "No matter how much you want to pretend it is."

He glared at her. "Wow that's so insightful Nessie!," he said sarcastically. "What else you got?"

"Oh come on Kit you know I'm right," She hissed. "You have to end it!"

Kit shook his head. Why does she keep saying that?

"No. Why should I?" Kit retorted. "She loves me." He tried to sound as confident as he could, but truthfully he wasn't so sure anymore.

Autumn had gone above and beyond to make Kit feel loved and appreciated yo the point where she was almost obsessive. But she could also be cruel and spiteful. Kit had convinced himself that he should be happy with what he had because it was as good as he was gonna get.

And the sad part was that was still true.

"No she doesn't," Janessa breathed desperately. To Kit's horror, it looked like she was about to cry. Kit couldn't remember if he had ever seen her cry. Not once.

"Somebody who really loved you could never hurt you like that!" She protested shakily, her voice warbled as tears spilled down her face.

Kit could feel his tears returning at the sight of Nessie crying. He rushed towards her and pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her neck. In the comfort of his best friend's embeace he allowed himself to finally sob. He cried for that broken niave part of himself that kept getting hurt.

She rested her chin on the top of his head, (she was taller then him,) and held him close. "Please promise me you will break up with her," Janessa begged.

"I just don't get it," Kit whispered against her skin. "I did everything right. I did everything I could." He blinked back tears. "Why doesn't she love me Nessie?"

He felt her shake against him. "I don't know Kit," she sobbed. "But I love you ok? I love you and your parents love you, and Mina loves you so much!"

Kit sighed, pulling back to wipe his tears. "I know, but what if I, you know-. What if I never find someone? Like romantically?"

Janessa studied him, raising her eyebrow. "Well do you need to find someone? Who is this arbitrary someone who can give you something a friendship can't?"

That's actually a good point.

"I mean," Nessie continued, crossing her arms and shifting her weight. "If you do end up in a relationship then cool, it's whatever. But the way I see it is you shouldn't focus all of your energy on looking because you're gonna end up missing out on some pretty cool stuff in the mean time." She smiled.

Kit thought about it. He knew logically Janessa had a point. But he just couldn't feel it. He was too depressed and defeated. And as ashamed as it made him, Kit still missed Autumn. He tried to smile along with Nessie but it must have looked weak because she looked concerned.

"Hey," she cooed, reaching for him.

"Can you sing to me Nessie?" He asked. Kit felt a little pathetic but hopefully she wouldn't judge him.

She smiled lovingly at him. "Sure." Janessa took his hand and led him to his bed.

"Any requests?" She asked as she pulled off her boots and lay down on Kit's bed. He followed her, snuggling up against Nessie with his back to her.

"No not really," he murmered, closing his eyes. Kit was finally starting to feel how exhausted he really was.

Janessa wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close, resting her head slightly against his shoulder. "Ok," she whispered very softly.

Kit heard her clear her throat softly before the sound of her breathy angelic alto filled his ears.

"I'm turning out the lights, to remember how to see. Till the renaissance takes place, Until a renaissance takes place, and resuscitates the color of paint and divinity."

Kit smiled sleepily at the sound of his enneagram song, something Janessa had introduced him to.

He yawned and let the sound of Nessie's voice lull him to sleep, putting all thoughts of Autumn behind him.

In my head Kit is like 5'4 and Janessa is 5'9. Originally I had her at 5'11 but I wanted her to be closer in height to Kit. Also did I name Kit's abusive girlfriend Autumn after my toxic controlling ex best friend? You bet I did!

Tag list: (you know the deal) @playwithravenclaw @lavender-scented-rat @jazzkaurtheglorious @waterlillies @nott-the-best @stxr-thxif @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @foxglove-airmid @littlx-songbxrd @clarys-heosphoros @queenlilith43 @arangiajoan @hardlymatters @the-wckd-powers @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @adoravel-fenomeno

#tsc #tda #twp #the dark artifices #kit herondale #fae's oc #the wicked powers #janessa williams #platonic soulmates for the win

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thelightofthebane · 1 year ago

Text

through the good and bad and all in between

Summary: Magnus was born a warlock. Magnus became a mundane for love and by self-sacrificing tendencies. Magnus turned into a vampire after an act of spite and revenge.

A story about survival, new identities, love through adversities, and accepting changes.

Rating: E

Chapters: 10

Words: Around 23k~

This fic was created for the Shadowhunters Mini Bang 2023: Presented by the @malecdiscordserver

You can read it on AO3 or the third chapter below ~

Chapter 3 - Don't let me slip away

After leaving the portal and crossing the entrance of the Institute, Alec went straight to his room – ignoring any call of his name. He loved to be the Head, but for the first time in his life, the whole world could as well burn and he wouldn’t blink an eye. Soon enough, he realized how big of a mistake it was to come to his bedroom – Magnus things were still scattered around.

He could still feel Magnus’ presence there, the smell of his Sandalwood fragrance, the wrinkles on his bedsheets, his boyfriend’s warmth still lingering in the air.

And just like that, Alec broke down. Falling ungracefully on the floor, a loud sob escaped his mouth and the dam overflowed.

Grief overcame him much stronger than before.

“Alec, Izzy finished the– Alec!” Jace called out, and he could also hear Isabelle gasping. The door was closed and both his siblings launched themselves onto the floor, each on one side of Alec. For some reason, this only made Alec cry harder – this time not caring if they saw. He was too tired to mask his feelings, too raw after seeing the love of his life in a grave and then refusing to acknowledge him.

“What happened? Did Magnus say no to your proposal? If he did, I’m gonna kill the motherfu–” Jace cut himself off at the full-body shiver of Alec.

“Too soon…” Alec gasped, his breath coming in bolted, short puffs of air. He was on the edge of hyperventilating.

His siblings, already familiarized with the drill, went through all the steps to calm him until he was coherent again and breathing normally.

“Big brother, what happened?” Izzy repeated Jace’s question, more quietly and worried.

“Earlier, before my dinner with Magnus, while we were still dealing with Jonathan, Magnus left the Institute. I think he was too overwhelmed, especially after the scare he gave us yesterday, and just wanted to take some fresh air. And then… Then…”

Jace and Izzy took each of his hands and squeezed, tethering him and offering their support before he worked himself up to another panic attack.

“Some vampires…” Alec gulped down, his voice cracking. “Camille. They attacked him. They killed him.”

A pin could drop and the three of them would hear it perfectly in the following heavy silence. Before he lost the courage, Alec continued.

“Catarina found him already dead. And she… She made the same choice as Clary with Simon.”

Mortification downed on Izzy and Jace.

“You know, I could feel something strange from the bond. I didn’t know what it was since you closed it off, but still, a faint sensation was bleeding from it. Is it where you were until now? Waiting for him to wake up again?”

Alec only nodded. What else there was to say?

“They’re in a safe place. I think Cat will stay with him until he has adapted to his new life.”

“Oh Alec…” Izzy hugged him, and Alec clung to her, accepting the comfort he so needed at the moment. Jace joined them, and for a moment the world felt right and nothing could hurt him anymore.

Unfortunately, reality caught up to him too fast, and Alec knew he couldn’t keep delaying his responsibilities. Especially when he had a vampire to hunt.

Sniffing one last time, he quickly cleaned his face and got up.

“Listen, you two can’t tell this to anyone. And I mean, anyone. Not even Clary.” Alec looked pointedly at Jace.

“But she loves Magnus too. She would want to see him and–”

“That’s exactly why you can’t tell her. She’s much better now, but she still does whatever she wants. If Clary knows about Magnus’ situation, she will open a portal and go straight to him. He isn’t ready to see anyone, Jace.” Not even me went unsaid. “Give him time to adjust and choose when to see everyone. He had already lost so many things. We can’t take this from him, too. Please, Jace.”

“Okay…” The blonde answered softly, and for once didn’t try to fight his parabatai’s request. “Then, I’m going to check on her. As long as she’s connected to Jonathan, she is in danger.” He clasped Alec’s shoulder. “Let me know if you need anything, okay buddy?”

Alec nodded a bit distractedly, looking around and seeing Magnus’ things once more. He wondered if Magnus would want them, erasing his presence from Alec’s room. Perhaps from his life, too. No matter how he looked at it, Alec felt like he had only brought suffering to Magnus’ life.

“Big brother?” Alec didn’t even notice that Izzy had stayed, and was watching him with big, worried eyes.

“I’m scared.” He finally admitted it out loud. “He lost his position as High Warlock, his powers, his home. Now he lost his life and his identity. Again. What else he has to hold to?”

“He has his family and his friends. He has us. But mainly, he has you, hermano.”

“I’m–” not enough.

What if everything was too much for his boyfriend? Alec knew about some of Magnus’ lows. About a certain bridge. Would Magnus look for one? Or maybe throw himself at the sun? He surely didn’t care much about his own life when Lorenzo’s magic almost killed him before.

Alec shuddered, swallowing down the urge to fold into himself and cry again.

Magnus wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t.

~*~

His life was a comical joke. There was no other explanation for it.

Magnus only wanted to get his immortality and magic back. He didn’t ask to get killed - to die. He didn’t ask to become something else. Being a mundane was hysterical enough, but a vampire now? Forever locked away from any kind of magic, spending centuries hiding behind shadows, perpetually feeling cold and drawn to blood?

Worse - all by the hands of a woman who Magnus once loved so dearly.

Camille robbed him.

Asmodeus took his magic. Camille took his life.

For centuries, people had always taken, taken, taken from Magnus.

It seemed that they finally succeed in leaving him empty.

Magnus had his immortality back, yes, but why didn't it feel right?

He should be happy, no? It was what he wanted, at least partially.

However…

He felt so… violated.

It was even worse knowing that although he had centuries at his disposal again, there was no connection with his surroundings anymore. He couldn’t feel the elements, the ley lines, the magic that made him one with the world.

Honestly, he wasn’t feeling much currently.

If before, as a mundane, he felt too much - too much pain, too much grief, too much anger, now he was just an empty shell.

“Argh!” Magnus roared, accidentally smashing to pieces a very ancient table made of some tree that didn’t even exist anymore. If Ragnor was still alive, he would be scandalized.

Magnus shivered.

Ragnor.

If his dear cabbage was still here, what would he say? What would he do? Would he have agreed with Catarina about letting him turn into a vampire? All of this was so absurd, it was something neither of them had ever considered before to discuss. Could this be considered some vampiric version of necromancy? They did promise each other to never resort to dark magic though.

Yes, Magnus was upset, but not at Cat. Never at Cat. After a long talk, he could understand where she came from, and maybe he would’ve done the same if their roles were reversed, but still…

And Alec? God, where does his Alexander fit in all of this? Catarina told him how Alec stayed there with her since this nightmare started. And briefly, Magnus saw the pain and despair in Alec’s eyes before turning away.

Love, too. So much love.

Before, it was humbling. Now, it felt misplaced. He should let Alec go. Magnus knew he didn’t have anything more to offer Alec. He would be a burden for his boy, and Alexander still had so much good to do for the Shadow World.

Magnus should… Should… Again…

He froze.

A portal was opening, and immediately Magnus knew.

He was here. Alec kept his word and came back.

And Magnus… Magnus wasn’t ready to see him yet. Or ever.

In the blink of an eye, he ran to the nearest bathroom and locked himself in. Vampire’s speed. It had its perks after all, albeit slightly out of control still.

Well, he would get better. He had a lot of time again after all.

“Magnus?” Alexander called, but Magnus refused to answer. If he still had a beating heart, it would surely be very erratic right now. He listened to Alec walking around, his worn-out boots hitting the wooden floor. Eventually, the steps reached the bathroom’s door, and Alec knocked, repeating. “Magnus, are you in there?”

Every time Magnus tried to open his mouth and say something - anything - the lump would grow in his throat and paralyze him in fear.

“You’re there, aren’t you?” A pause. “Can I come in?”

No, I’m sorry. Just go. Leave me alone. Go be happy with someone who truly deserves it.

Silence.

For a moment, Magnus thought the Shadowhunter had gotten the message and left, but he knew better. Alec was stubborn to a fault. Magnus heard some shuffling and a soft thump on the door, Alec’s voice then coming from a lower point.

Oh. He sat on the floor. Right in front of the door.

Alec was going to stay there?

“It’s okay, you don’t need to talk to me. Or talk at all. I just want you to know that I’m here for you. I won’t leave your side, Magnus. Never again.”

Magnus had to cover his mouth tightly before a sob exploded from it.

He fell, his knees hitting the porcelain floor hard, and curved onto himself.

He wanted Alec so badly. His arms around him, his lovely whispers. His warmth.

Magnus felt so cold.

Forever, he would feel cold.

~*~

It became their new routine.

Alec would come and Magnus would hide inside the bathroom. They both stayed near the door, sitting against it and soaking up in that odd situation of sharing almost the same space, but never touching. Never seeing the other. Never speaking to the other.

Well, mostly. Although they basked themselves in comfortable silence, Alec talked sometimes. He recounted to Magnus what he did that day, his siblings’ new shenanigans, his biweekly coffee dates with Maryse. He also confessed the hard parts - finally confronting Jonathan and killing him, but not after him bringing absolute chaos and destruction to Alicante (and Magnus didn’t want to think about how he could’ve lost Alec to a war while he was stuck in the middle of nowhere being useless), a rift in the sky connected to Edom, a battle against Lilith, Isabelle almost dying to Heavenly Fire, Downworlders becoming mundane (Raphael becoming mundane!) because of the Clave, Luke becoming a Shadowhunter again, Lorenzo refusing to help them as the High Warlock (but apparently flirting with Underhill?), Clary and Izzy deciding to become parabatais…

So on and so on.

The world was still turning and Magnus detached himself from its gravity.

And during all the tales, Magnus wouldn’t utter a single word. He never tried to start a conversation with Alec. Because he knew that if he opened his mouth, he would be unable to hold himself.

The only true comfort Magnus allowed himself was wearing Alec’s clothes. When everything was too much and Magnus felt like giving up, he would put Alec’s sweatpants or one of his many old sweaters full of holes and washed colors. They still held Alec’s scent and warmth, and that was everything.

After some time, Magnus also saw small changes in Ragnor’s cottage each new day. His makeup, clothes, favorite books, and trinkets appearing. His omamori charm. Even his jewelry. Curiously, some of them, although having the same design, were made of a different material. All the ones made of silver were replaced by gold or other metals and stones.

He asked Catarina about it one evening.

“Your boy. He had been studying hard about vampire culture, even talking more to some clans in New York. I heard he became really good friends with this vampire called Lily Chen.” Cat grinned. “As soon as he found out about the dangers and intricacies of silver for vampires, he took it personally to check all your clothes, accessories, and jewelry. He even checked if your makeup had any silver in its composition. Alec replaced what he could so you wouldn’t be without any of your belongings. Even if you continue to refuse seeing him, he never stopped taking care of you, Magnus.”

Alec never stopped surprising him.

And it would only make it harder when Magnus broke up with him to set him free.

But Magnus felt selfish enough to hold on a little longer.

Tomorrow, he would repeat to himself.

But every new tomorrow brought a new surprise and endearing gesture, and Magnus simply couldn’t.

He had to put a stop to this madness and thus decided to finally end things.

That day, almost three weeks after his ‘death’, could’ve been like any other day of their new, strange routine, but no. For the first time in months, Magnus was the one to break the silence after Alec launched into a new story about Jace and Simon training together at the Institute.

“Why?”

Slowly, Magnus slipped to the floor, keeping his back against the door. He knew he didn't have to explain what he meant. Alec would understand.

Somehow, he always did.

The silence stretched for some minutes until Alec blabbered suddenly.

“I want to marry you.”

And that… wasn’t what Magnus expected at all.

…

“That’s why I proposed to Lydia.”

“That’s… interesting.”

“It makes sense. It’s a solid partnership. For both of us.”

“‘Solid partnership.’ That’s hot. Well, okay, then. Congratulations. Marriage is a wonderful institution. Not that I would know.”

…

“Nobody ever wanted to marry me,” Magnus replied softly, a confession too painful to say out loud.

“I do,” Alec said with that same conviction that never failed to surprise Magnus. “I… I was going to propose that night.”

Magnus exhaled sharply, feeling the tears blur his vision. But before he could say anything, Alec continued.

“I’m glad I didn’t. It would have been a mistake.”

Oh… Magnus closed his eyes. Of course. Of course, Alec would regret that decision. Who would want to marry someone so useless and broken and–”

“I want to marry you,” Alec repeated, strongly, as if reading Magnus’ thoughts. “But it wasn’t the right time. You didn’t need a ring on your finger. You needed… You needed me. And maybe, maybe… If I wasn’t so busy worrying about a proposal that day, you wouldn’t have… You…”

A sob.

Magnus blinked, tears falling.

“I just wanted to fix this…”

“It’s not your job to fix anything. To fix me.”

“No, it isn’t. Now I know that because there is nothing broken. Magnus, you aren’t broken. You just changed. And that’s… that’s okay.”

Magnus huffed. “Alec, you can’t seriously think–”

“I don’t care,” Alec cut Magnus off before his thoughts could spiral more. “I don’t care what you are. Warlock, mundane, vampire, werewolf, demon…” Magnus’ heart failed some beats. “You are not your titles or your blood. You are not just the High Warlock. Just a Downworlder. Just Asmodeus’ son. You are you. Your own person. You are Magnus Bane. The only one. My love. My Magnus.”

“I’m fine, Alexander.” What else he could say at this rate?

“No, you aren’t. I know you, Magnus, and you are definitely not fine.” Alec didn’t like to call Magnus out like this, but this time… this time was a too damn close call to just swipe under the rug.

“I-” Magnus tried again but snapped his mouth shut. Because really? What was the point anymore?

Magnus Bane, centuries-old warlock, was no more.

“I’m not fine.”

#shmb2023 #shadowhunters #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #my writing #colorfulwarlock

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