#the set has to be demolished right? one last time?

[abastardworthknowing]

What if something does happen to the bookshop in the finale?

what if all they had left was each other and their friends?

I hope that would be enough

[pucksandpower]

Burn, Baby! Burn!

Lando Norris x firefighter!Reader

Summary: Lando almost burns down his house (twice) and meets the throughly exasperated love of his life in the process

The shrill screech of the alarm pierces through the calm of the fire station. You jolt upright in your chair, coffee spilling across the table. Another firefighter bursts into the room.

“We’ve got a call! Some bloke has managed to set his kitchen on fire boiling pasta!”

You shake your head in disbelief as you follow your colleague out to the truck. Who in their right mind manages to burn water?

The sirens wail as you weave expertly through the London streets. You’ve lived here your whole life and know every nook and cranny. As you near the address, plumes of smoke curl up in the distance. Sure enough, you pull up to a posh townhouse billowing with black smoke.

You hurry to unravel the hose, pulling on your heavy fire gear with practiced ease. As you blast water at the licking flames, they hiss and retreat. Within minutes, the fire is out.

Your captain does a sweep of the place to check for any remaining embers. You start to inspect the damage. The kitchen is completely demolished — cabinets charred and counters blackened. And there, in the middle, stands a lanky man with a mop of brown hair. His eyes are wide as saucers as he takes in the ruin.

You stride over. “What in blazes happened here?”

“I, uh, was just trying to make some pasta,” he stammers.

You spot a scorched pot in the sink. “Pasta? All you need for that is water, salt, and noodles. How did you manage to incinerate the whole bloody kitchen?”

“Honestly, I’m not really sure,” he says, raking a hand through his hair. “I filled the pot with water, turned on the stove, went to get my phone and next thing I knew, the place was up in flames!”

You rub your temples, frustration simmering. This overgrown child clearly can’t be trusted alone.

“What’s your name?” You ask.

“Lando. Lando Norris.”

Lando Norris … why does that sound familiar? You rack your brain trying to place it.

“Well Lando, unless you fancy burning down the rest of London, I suggest you leave the cooking to the takeaway. Or hire a personal chef or something, sure looks like you can afford it.”

Lando chuckles at that. There’s a twinkle in his eye that irks you.

“Will do, firefighter ...”

“Y/N,” you supply.

“Beautiful name for a beautiful firefighter,” he says with a wink.

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. The last thing you need right now is an incompetent flirt.

Your radio crackles to life. “Y/L/N, need you to hang back with the resident until a building inspector can come assess the safety.”

You close your eyes and take a deep breath before responding. “Copy that.”

You turn back to Lando. “Looks like you’re stuck with me till the inspector shows up.”

“Well I certainly won’t complain about that,” Lando says with a dimpled grin.

You plop down on his couch, which by some miracle remains unscathed. Lando sits down next to you, angling his body in your direction.

“So, do you rescue fiery damsels in distress often?”

You snort. “Wouldn’t exactly call you a damsel. But putting out idiots’ fires? More often than you’d think.”

Lando clutches his chest in faux offense. “Idiot? I’m wounded!”

Despite yourself, you feel your lips quirking upwards. There’s something endearing about him, even if he is concerningly incompetent.

“Gotta admit, this is a new one,” you gesture around. “Never been called for someone catching water on fire before.”

“Ah well, I like to keep things interesting,” Lando says with a wink.

You’re about to respond when your radio crackles again. “The inspector’s been held up across town. Gonna be another 30 minutes.”

You lean your head back and groan. Lando perks up beside you.

“Well, lucky me! More time with the lovely firefighter.”

You toss a decorative pillow at him. “You’re incorrigible.”

Lando just laughs, dodging the pillow with ease. “So tell me, Y/N, what made you become a firefighter?”

You debate shutting him down, but something about the open curiosity on his face makes you open up.

“My dad was a firefighter,” you explain. “Some of my earliest memories are of playing at the fire station with the other firefighters’ kids while our dads were on calls. I was maybe 5 or 6 when my dad let me slide down the fire pole for the first time.”

You smile at the memory. “I knew then that I wanted to be just like my dad. I thought firefighters were the coolest people in the world.”

Lando is watching you intently as you speak.

“What about you?” You ask. “What is it you do, besides wreak havoc in the kitchen?”

Lando smirks. “I’m a Formula 1 driver.”

Your eyes widen — no wonder his name is so familiar.

Lando looks pleased at your recognition. “So you’ve heard of me then?”

You nod. “Guess that explains how you can afford a posh place like this. Though I’d think a racing driver would have a bit more common sense in the kitchen.”

Lando shrugs sheepishly. “Never really had to fend for myself until now. I’m a bit hopeless at all things domestic.”

You shake your head in exasperation. “Been living off takeout, have you?”

“You know it,” Lando says with a wink.

You’re about to retort when the building inspector arrives. You greet him as Lando shows him around the thoroughly singed kitchen. After an extensive examination, the inspector deems the place safe, reminding Lando to get repairs done immediately.

With that settled, you make your way outside, Lando following at your heels.

“Don’t suppose I could get your number?” Lando asks as you reach the fire truck. “You know, in case I have any other domestic mishaps that require rescuing.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. “How about I just pray we don’t meet again? Since that would likely mean you almost burned your place down … again.”

Lando clutches his chest in mock offence. “You wound me! And here I thought we were really hitting it off!”

Despite yourself, you let out a laugh. “You’re ridiculous.” You pause, considering him for a moment. “But seriously … try not to burn the place down again, yeah? I’d rather not have to peel you off the floor next time.”

Lando grins. “I’ll do my best to keep the place flame-free. Though I can’t promise I won’t still need rescuing from time to time.”

You roll your eyes, but can’t help the smile tugging at your lips. “Take care of yourself, Lando Norris.”

As you hop into the fire truck and speed away, sirens blaring, you catch Lando waving out of the corner of your eye. You let out a small laugh, shaking your head.

What an absolute disaster of a man.

***

It’s been nearly two weeks since the incident at Lando’s place. You’ve replayed that day in your mind more times than you’d care to admit. There was just something about that hapless yet charming Lando Norris.

Speak of the devil — the fire alarm at the station suddenly blares to life.

“Never a dull day, eh?” Your captain jokes.

You hustle to gear up, a sense of deja vu washing over you. As you near the now familiar posh townhouse, plumes of smoke once again curl into the sky. Your disbelief grows when you see a very sheepish looking Lando standing outside.

He grimaces as your truck pulls up. “Before you ask, yes, it was me again.”

You leap out of the truck, pulling the hose as your team gets to work quelling the flames.

“What the hell happened this time?” You shout over the roar of water.

“I, uh, may have tried to microwave some leftovers,” Lando says, rubbing the back of his neck.

It only takes a few minutes to extinguish the fire and assess the damage. Thankfully, it seems contained to mostly the microwave this time. Lando leads you inside, where smoke still lingers in the air. Your eyes immediately zone in on the microwave, or rather, what’s left of it. The interior is completely blackened and melted.

You whirl on Lando. “Please tell me you didn’t put something metal in there.”

Lando winces. “Right, so, funny story. I may have left a fork in the takeaway box.”

You drag a hand down your face in exasperation. “Lando, are you actually incapable of functioning like a normal adult?”

He has the decency to look ashamed. “I know, I’m a disaster, truly. But in my defense, the microwave came with the place already. I didn’t even think to check for a manual or proper usage instructions.”

You snort. “I’m pretty sure not putting metal in the microwave is common sense.”

Lando shoves his hands in his pockets. “Suppose I don’t have much of that.”

You sigh, suddenly feeling a bit bad for berating him. He really is just hopeless, not malicious.

“Look, maybe it’s best you just avoid the kitchen altogether,” you suggest gently. “At least until you get some proper instruction.”

Lando nods enthusiastically. “You’re absolutely right. In fact, why don’t I just take you out for dinner? Be a lot safer than me bumbling about the kitchen.”

You cross your arms, biting back a smile. “Are you asking me out while I’m on duty?”

Lando’s eyes widen. “No no, of course not! I would never compromise your professionalism.”

You can’t help but grin. “I’m just teasing you.”

Lando looks relieved. “Right, sorry. But truly, I’d love to take you to dinner, if you’re open to it.” He smiles sheepishly. “I could certainly use the company of someone responsible in the kitchen.”

You consider him for a moment. There are about a million reasons you shouldn’t agree to this. But despite the situation, you find yourself charmed by Lando.

“Tell you what, why don’t you swing by the station once my shift is over in ...” You check your watch. “Four hours. You can ask me again then.”

Lando’s face lights up. “It’s a date! Well, hopefully, if you say yes.”

You chuckle and turn to leave, but Lando calls out your name. You glance back and he smiles warmly.

“Thank you again for rescuing me … in more ways than one.”

Four hours later, you’re wiping down the fire truck when an expensive sports car pulls up outside the station. Lando hops out, beaming when he spots you.

“Fancy meeting you here,” he calls out cheekily.

You roll your eyes good-naturedly. “Don’t you know this is a strictly no-playboys zone?”

Lando clutches his heart. “You wound me, Y/N! I’m much more than just extraordinarily good looks.”

“What good looks?” You challenge.

Lando strolls over and holds open the passenger door. “Have dinner with me and see for yourself.”

You pretend to consider it, then shrug. “Eh, why not. Beats more takeout on my couch.”

You hop into Lando’s flashy car and he zooms off towards the restaurant. Lando insists on opening every door for you and pulling out your chair. You poke fun at his over-the-top chivalry, but find it endearing nonetheless.

Over dinner, you learn there’s much more to Lando than his hapless antics. He’s unexpectedly clever, with a sharp wit to match. He’s passionate about racing, his eyes lighting up as he tells you about life on the circuit. And despite his lavish lifestyle, he’s remained remarkably down-to-earth.

Conversation flows easily between you two. You’re amazed at how you manage to lose track of time, the restaurant emptying out around you.

When Lando finally drives you home, you linger in the parking lot, neither of you wanting the night to end.

“I had a really nice time tonight,” you say softly.

Lando smiles. “Me too. Think it’s safe to say there were definitely some sparks between us.”

You groan at the terrible fire pun, shoving Lando playfully. His eyes gleam with mirth.

“In all seriousness, I’d love to see you again,” Lando says. “If you’re willing to take another chance on this walking fire hazard.”

You pretend to consider it. “Well, seeing as I’m trained to deal with hazards ...”

Lando perks up hopefully. You grin and lean over to press a quick kiss to his cheek.

“I would love to see you again. And until then … just please stay away from anything flammable.”

***

A few months have passed since your unusual first encounters with Lando. To your surprise and delight, you’ve settled into an easy relationship that feels almost like second nature. Lando has been actively planning creative dates, seemingly determined to take you on adventures across London.

It’s been a whirlwind of posh restaurants, West End shows, helicopter rides, and more. Lando delights in lavishing you with exclusive experiences. While you appreciate the gestures, your favorite nights are spent cuddled on the couch playing video games.

You’ve helped Lando gain basic competency in the kitchen. He can now make scrambled eggs and pasta unsupervised. Progress.

In turn, Lando has taken an interest in your life as a firefighter, asking for crazy stories and even visiting you at the station with treats for those on shift. He greets you after work with hearty meals — takeaway warmed up in the oven without any explosions — a welcome respite from having to worry that you would come home to find his house burnt to a crisp.

You’re touched by how you’ve each become such a fixture in the other’s unusual life so quickly.

One morning, the two of you are lounging on Lando’s couch during a rare shared day off when he suddenly perks up.

“The British Grand Prix is in a few months! I know it might be tough for you to get the weekend off but I would love it if you could come,” Lando suggests excitedly.

Your eyes widen. “Seriously? I would love to see your world up close.”

Lando grins and pulls you in for a kiss. “It’s a date then! Fair warning though, the garage can get a bit chaotic. But I can’t wait to show you off to my team.”

You laugh. “Well in my line of work, chaotic is the norm. I think I can handle it.”

On race day, Lando picks you up in a sleek McLaren emblazoned with his number. You take in the organized chaos of the paddock, amazed by the scale of it all.

Lando guides you through the sea of team members prepping for the big day. He greets his mechanics warmly, introducing you with a hand on the small of your back.

“Lads, meet my girl Y/N,” Lando announces proudly.

The mechanics appraise you curiously. One whistles under his breath. “Nice catch, Lando. She’s clearly out of your league.”

You laugh as Lando flips him off good-naturedly.

Another mechanic, Dan, gestures to your athletic frame. “So what is it you do, Y/N? Personal trainer? Athlete? Fitness influencer?”

You smile wryly. “I’m a firefighter, actually.”

Dan gapes in disbelief. “A firefighter? No way! But you’re so ...” He vaguely gestures at you.

You quirk an eyebrow. “So what? Girls can’t be firefighters?”

Dan holds up his hands quickly. “No no, course not! Just didn’t expect it, is all.”

Lando grins and squeezes your shoulder. “She’s saved my arse more times than I can count.”

You laugh. “He’s not wrong. Man’s a walking fire hazard.”

Lando’s team ribs him fondly about his cooking mishaps. But you can tell they’re impressed, regarding you with newfound admiration.

“Go on then, show us what you can do!” Dan cajoles.

You grin mischievously. “If you insist.”

Before Dan can react, you swoop down and lift him effortlessly into a fireman’s carry. The other mechanics whoop and holler as Dan flails comically over your shoulder.

After a few seconds, you gently set a very flustered Dan back down.

Lando lets out a low whistle. “Have I mentioned how hot it is when you go all firefighter on me?”

You smirk. “Never gets old seeing you boys underestimate me.”

Dan rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “Yeah, fair play. Reckon I earned that.”

You laugh good-naturedly and pat Dan on the back, assuring him no harm done. As you all chat, you notice Lando’s gaze lingering on you admiringly.

As race time nears, Lando has to start prepping with his team. But he keeps glancing over at you with a newfound awe. Your little display of strength clearly left an impression.

Soon it’s time for him to get in the car. You wish Lando luck with a quick kiss, giggling at the mechanics’ dramatic groans.

Once the race gets underway, you stand behind the monitors with Lando’s performance coach, cheering him on with every overtake. You join the crew in jumping to your feet when Lando crosses the chequered flag for an exhilarating podium finish. The garage explodes into celebration, and Lando sweeps you up into a spinning hug when he arrives.

“My good luck charm,” he proclaims, keeping you close as champagne sprays wildly.

Later at an afterparty for the drivers and teams, you sip cocktails under strings of lights. Lando proudly spins you around the dancefloor, making sure everyone can see you on his arm.

“Have I told you how amazing you are?” Lando murmurs into your hair.

You grin. “Might’ve mentioned it once or twice.”

“Well I’m saying it again. You’re incredible, Y/N. Today was so much better getting to share it with you.”

Your heart swells at the sincerity in Lando’s eyes. You cup his face gently.

“Couldn’t imagine a better first Grand Prix. Thank you for inviting me into this part of your world.”

Lando smiles softly. “You’re the best part of my world now.”

Over the following weeks, you start to notice Lando looking at you with a new hunger in his eyes. The easy affection between you has shifted into something more wanton and primal.

One night, as you’re cooking a simple pasta dish together, Lando comes up behind you, hands encircling your waist. He plants a trail of kisses down your neck as his grip tightens possessively.

You lean back into him with a pleased hum. “Well hello there.”

“Mmm, ever since I saw you lift that mechanic, I just keep thinking about all the ways you could put that sexy strength to use,” Lando murmurs against your skin.

You grin and turn in his arms. “Oh yeah? Why don’t you tell me more about that?” You purr teasingly.

Lando crashes his lips to yours, backing you against the counter hungrily. You just barely remember to turn off the burner before completely losing yourself in the feel of him around you — one burnt pot of boiling water is more than enough for your relationship, thank you very much.

Later, lying spent and sated in Lando’s bed, he nuzzles against you. “Have to say, your skills in the bedroom rival your skills as a firefighter,” he jokes.

You swat his chest playfully. “Careful or I may have to break out some new moves on you.”

Lando’s eyes gleam. “Promise?”

You grin and roll on top of him, ready to stoke the flames between you once more. Though your relationship started unconventionally, it seems things with Lando will never stop burning hot.

[stevieschrodinger]

Baker Steve/Rock Star Eddie wrong number AU

Part One

Part Two

PART THREE

"It's like a TV show, but on YouTube."

"Right," Steve answers, half listening to Dustin's explanation, "so it, like what, has an air time, or whatever?"

"Yeah, like a series."

"And it's just, what, famous people playing dipshits and dickheads?"

"Steeeeeeeeeeeevvvvveeeeeeeeeeee why are you like this?"

"Dunno," Steve shrugs, trying to read a recipe online. Unfortunately that's resulted in his having to scroll past someones entire fucking life story and he's ready to give up and try and work out the dumb Oreo cake recipe himself, "just lucky, I guess."

Dustin drops his head on the kitchen counter like Steve is the greatest difficulty he's ever going to face.

"So why do you need to be here to watch this?"

"Because we all want to watch it together, the guests are Corroded Coffin, they all like, play, the whole band, it's so cool-"

"Corroded Coffin? Playing your nerd game?" Steve's interest leaks through before he can stop it, "I mean, like, I think I've heard of them?" The last thing he needs is the kids finding out he's been kind of friends kind of flirting kind of maybe wants to date the actual Eddie Munson.

Dustin looks at him skeptically, "yeah...so you-"

"You can all watch it here, it's fine...I'll make cookies."

Dustin's completely distracted by his own success, instantly whipping out his phone to inform the other kids. Steve's pretty sure their group chat is called 'No Steve's allowed' but he hasn't actually found out for sure yet.

Steve does bake cookies. All the kids are gathered around his smart TV, absolutely demolishing them while they wait for this thing to start. It's like, an actual channel, with intros and graphics and stuff, a logo that reads 'Final Roll.'

And there's Eddie and the band, sitting around a table with two dudes who must run the channel. They all have the bits of paper and dice and little figures that Steve's used to seeing when the kids commandeer his dining room table.

There's preemptive ramble, and Steve leans forward a little every time Eddie's in shot. He's relieved all the kids are all sitting in front of him and all glued to the TV, so he can ogle in peace. They do introductions, and then everyone introduces their characters.

"May I introduce Sir Steven, the half elf paladin," behind Eddie Gareth rolls his eyes so hard his whole fucking body moves. Steve can see him and Geoff mouthing something to each other. Steve can only assume it's because Eddie has named his character, presumably, after him, "he has a sworn oath to always protect those weaker than himself."

Steve's heart fucking melts.

Steve's phone is buzzing. He's prepared. He knows Eddie's back in the country, they've been talking for months. Steve's kind of done waiting, and he's ready to press his advantage. He's had this set up for a little while, just waiting for the right moment. He presses play, and then answers the phone.

"Hey Stevie how-...are you listening to Corroded Coffin?"

"Yeah, yeah," Steve turns it down, bomb dropped, trap sprung, advantage played, "the kids absolutely love them, they're trying to get me into them even though they're not exactly my thing."

"Right, ah, right, what do you, uhm, think?"

"Yeah. Still not my thing-"

"Oh."

"But I really like it when the lead guy sings."

"...yeah?"

"Yeah, not the like, shouty growly singing, I can't understand a fucking thing he's saying-" Eddie chuckles, "but like, the parts where he properly sings. I think he has a beautiful voice."

"I ah, well, I mean, I bet the, uhm, shouty bits are hard work, you know. I expect that takes a lot of, you know, practice. Hell on the throat. I imagine, I would guess anyway, I don't actually, like know-"

"No no, yeah, well, maybe he should just sing more then, save those vocal chords, or whatever. I'd like that a lot."

"Yeah?" Steve can practically hear Eddie blushing down the phone. Eddie's so cute when he goes shy.

"Yeah." There's a long beat of silence before Steve goes in for the kill, "the kids are trying to get me to go see them. They're in the states now, apparently. Will be playing a gig in Indie."

"Yeah they are- I mean, I assume they are, most bands, uhm, yeah-" And Steve is hardly holding it together, Eddie is such a bad liar, and he's trying so hard not to lie at all. Steve doesn't know how he;s keeping his tone normal and not letting the whole ass cat out of the bag.

"And the kids are absolutely itching to go, you know? But tickets man, they're all doing every chore they can find to get some extra cash, but tickets are pricey, and for eight of us? Because I'll need someone else to help me chaperone and, you know..."

"I. I might...know a guy. Maybe. Like, because of the band I might...know someone who can get you tickets."

"Seriously? Eddie that would be incredible, the kids will absolutely loose their shit."

"Yeah, ah, is your work email cool?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course of course, man, the kids are going to love you for like, forever."

And maybe I will too, Steve just about manages to keep the words inside.

@steves-yellow-cardigin @melodymeddler @pitrsattabhaadmeinjao

@superduckmilkshake @she-collects-smut @paintsplatteredandimperfect @resident-gay-bitch

[jintaka-hane]

For the new years event can i request heat and rain by sleep token 👉👈

Also asked by @heats-lover-girl <3

[Masterlist] Kiss your blorbo on New Year’s Eve

HEAT

Summary: If you play with fire, one day you'll get burned. Word count: 1100 Warning: x f!reader; rough kissing All my stories are written entirely in Spanish and then translated into English, so I apologize for any mistakes I might make.

If eyes could eat, you'd be nothing but skin and bones by now.

You love teasing him. In fact, it’s one of your favorite pastimes, and seeing how every little thing you do gets a reaction, you get bolder and bolder.

You always pick moments when he can’t touch you. Is he following orders from the captain? You strut across the deck right in front of him, grinning and swaying your hips. Is he meticulously working on some carpentry project that keeps his hands occupied? You call his name, then give him a flirty wink while biting your bottom lip. Is he busy demolishing an enemy crew? Being a walking flamethrower takes focus, but there you are, gazing at him seductively from a distance, wetting your lips and blowing kisses his way.

"One day, I’m gonna grab you and ain’t lettin’ go," he always growls when you push things a little too far, frustrated because he can’t lay a hand on you. But all bark and no bite, you think with a laugh, skipping away challengingly while his eyes eat you alive.

You know those sunken, haunted eyes of his have traced every inch of your body. That the teeth behind his scarred lips have nearly cracked from the tension of clenching them too hard. And that beads of sweat have slid down that tattooed neck of his as he imagines all the things he’d do to you if he could.

But the commander with the blue-tinted dreads never takes action. Maybe it’s shyness, or maybe he’s just waiting for the right moment. Either way, that threat of his never comes to fruition, and you keep provoking him, like a little bunny daring the wolf to strike.

“… and to kick off the year like the last, tomorrow at dawn, we’ll conquer another fucking island! NOW DRINK!” Kid shouts, half-drunk, concluding his usual New Year’s Eve speech.

The crew cheers, raising their drinks high and spilling them everywhere, though hardly anyone actually listened. They’re too busy fighting over bites of the epic feast Killer prepared, while the blonde tries to shove people away from the mountain of roasted meat.

It’s always chaos aboard the ship on New Year’s Eve. Preparations start out orderly enough, with tasks divided to decorate the ship using whatever you can get your hands on. Stolen shiny objects, glittering scraps of metal, or pieces of looted treasure. Everything’s fair game and counts as festive if you look at it the right way. But as soon as the captain climbs up onto the massive dinosaur skull to give his speech, things spiral out of control because you all know what comes next. Barrel races over the water, drinking competitions and arm-wrestling matches with high-stakes bets, and the traditional “treasure hunt,” with a very drunk Wire as the guardian.

You clutch your stomach, laughing uncontrollably as you lie sprawled on the deck, your clothes and hair completely soaked from the countless times Bubblegum has tossed you overboard. Quincy reaches out a hand to help you up, and you grab it, letting her pull you to your feet while swiping Hop’s drink on the way up.

“Hey!” she yells, launching herself at you and knocking you back to the ground. You can’t stop laughing, and amidst the playful scuffle, you feel it again. Those eyes burning holes into your body.

The tall commander hasn’t been able to take his eyes off you all night, his tattooed arms resting on the railing and his long hair cascading over his shoulders, staring at you as if you were the only person on the deck.

"Guys, guys, guys! The cannon!!! It’s almost midnight!!" Dive yells, bouncing up and down as she points at Kid, who sets his drink on the railing and aims the ship’s main cannon at the sky.

Everyone scrambles to their feet and rushes over there. It’s going to be spectacular when he fires it, and no one wants to miss the show. You wrap your arms around Quincy and Bubblegum, and at Killer’s signal, everyone starts shouting the countdown.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six!"

Kid lets out a wild howl at the top of his lungs, and the crew cheers, joining him before continuing with the countdown.

"Five, four, three, two, one!"

BOOOOOOOM!!

The captain laughs maniacally as he fires the cannon, the explosion shaking your chest and making you gasp as thousands of glittering scraps of metal rain down on you. The crew roars, and just as you open your mouth wide to shout “Happy New Year!”, a few taps on your shoulder stop you. Raising an eyebrow, you turn around, and for the first time since joining the Kid Pirates, you tremble.

"Got you," Heat says, his imposing figure looming over you, eyes filled with the desperation of a ravenous man. He grabs your cheeks, guides your face upward, and before you can react, crashes his mouth possessively onto yours. His tattooed lips move against yours in a rough, almost bruising kiss, leaving you with no choice but to surrender and kiss him back.

"UUUUH!!! Woohoo!! Go get her, Heat!" You hear cheers and whistles erupt from the crew.

The sparkling rain of metal continues to fall around you as you laugh into the kiss, your hands blindly tracing the snaking designs inked on Heat's neck before tangling in his locks. He hums, low and pleased, then his hands roam over your shoulders and down your back. When you finally need to break for air, one of your hands presses against his chest. But as soon as you tilt your head back, he growls, his grip tightening on a strand of your hair to keep you in place.

Wolf-like howls echo around you and you give in. Your fingers grip the laces of his corset as his other hand moves lower, settling on your lower back and closing the small gap between your bodies. Breathless, you try once more to pull away, only for him to growl again, his jaw tilting against yours as he nips at your bottom lip, coaxing your mouth open further to deepen the kiss.

"Uh, okay… I'll take Dive," you hear Killer say.

"No!" Dive stomps her feet and protests.

"Yes, ma’am, we’re going...," the first mate adds, and you’re certain he’s watching as Heat becomes wild, gripping your ass as if he can’t get enough of you. "In fact… we’re all going. Guys! The party continues in the aft castle!"

"YEEEES!" the crew roars, leaving you helpless and giddy in the wolf's grasp.

................................................

Taglist: @fanaticsnail @armiliadawn @pandora-writes-one-piece @i-am-vita @eustasscapitankid @nocturnalrorobin @daydreamer-in-training <3

[jellyvibes710]

I'm aliveeee (Little Baby Blue AU)

So I made a thing! It took forever but I did it! I'm not the best with shading or backgrounds but I really like how these came out and I really hope you enjoy!!

This comic series will take event after the movie, it will be heartwarming but also painful, there will be some trigger warning ⚠ for some of the parts as well

The first few parts will be twin angst because I can't help myself, but dee will be doing his best to get leo better but as the weeks progress he's getting worse and worse till he eventually falls into a coma, around this time dee realizes that Leo's body isn't going to make it so he uses his big brain to come up with a plan to just make a clone of leo then transfer his soul to the Clone. He'll have to make a deal with big mama to get the right thing to accomplish this task, then leo flatlines for the first time. Although the first few parts are gonna be dark especially for the twins, traumatic for donnie because he's racing against a clock that's getting smaller and smaller, hearing his brother flatline multiple times and having to do more damage to his already fragile body just to bring him back, his twin senses were only sensing inpending doom from his dying twin, feeling a snap every time leo heart stops, hearing raph and mikey cry and bang at the door when they also heard him flatline, he didn't sleep the entire time and when he did it was brief, and having no choice but to put Leo's spirt in not only a copy of his body but a baby sized one because he knew if leo flatlined one more time he wouldn't bounce back from it, and in the back of his head he knew either way leo was going to have to relearn how to walk and talk because not only is his body demolished but his brain was scrambled and he was showing clear signs of heavy brain trauma BEFORE he slipped into a coma then when he does pull Leo's soul out (thank big mama for that tool) his spirt let's out a cry that'll haunt donnies mind forever.

It'll be traumatic for leo because last he knew he was drifting to sleep and now suddenly he's smaller, his vision is blurred so his environment is unfamiliar and dispute his twin senses he couldn't physically tell donnie was there with him but he knew donnie was scared, he couldn't hear anything because his ears were ringing so loud in his head that he couldn't hear donnies constantly apologizing as he has to pin leo down, make sure all his reflects are responsive, shine bright light in his face (which he did NOT like), leo was so scared that he was trembling and crying so loud donnie was glad he soundproofed the lab, it took hours for his sight and hearing to return to normal and the first thing he sees is a destroyed/very drained Dee, an image that'll linger in his head probably forever, but seeing him made leo immediately want to cling to donnie but he realized he couldn't even control his body the way he wanted which scared him and when donnie finally picked leo up and clung to him, he felt so small and vulnerable but he felt safe scooped up in Dee's hands which were warm from his constant fidgeting and rubbing his hands together, and if dee had to set leo down even for a moment he'd spirl into fear and start crying again because everything felt so fake but being held really grounded him to earth and kept his mind calm, for a few days he can't even tell if everything is real or not. Donnie doesn't even let mikey and raph see leo the first few days of being a baby because sadly it was donnies only option, either make a clone and put his brother's spirt in that or he dies and he'd have no way to see him again, he almost doesn't even make it and had to do cpr on leo two or three times while creating the clone and Leo's body was so damaged that each time he'd do cpr he'd have less and less time

It took just under a week for dee to build confidence to show everyone leo and explain why it was his only option, which everyone was clearly mad but understood the reasoning, dee also noticed that when he wore his ninja gear leo was constantly on edge and clearly stressed hence why everyone isn't wearing their gear to let leo kinda know that he doesn't have to worry, of course dee is the first to go back into his ninja gear because he feels like he needs to be ready for anything especially now that leo is so fragile, they gave a proper grave to Leo's old body since there wasn't anything they could do to save it. Then it's LOT of family bonding time and healing, mentally and emotionally for everyone, so it's gonna be heartwarming(hopefully) and also have its pained moments. I already did a few short comics with baby leo because I was mostly bored and I started building a story in my head and now I'm just kinda starting it >.>

This comic will be like dark chocolate, sweet but bitter

Or sour patch kids, sour sweet gone lmao

Who'll be in the comic? Everyone

I'm super excited to finally be getting started on this au and I really hope everyone enjoys it 💖

(Bonus)Some lil details I added while thinking of a storyline;

no matter how big and intimating mikey made himself look for the part you can tell that he's being super gentle with leo because he knows he naturally stronger in general then the rest of his bros, although while playing dead with leo was fun, when leo played along and flopped over it hit mikey just how close he was to actually losing his brother, small details with big impacts :]

Like- I-- just- just look at this picture, you can see the absolute care in his touch, the protective way he holds lil leo close while his face just screams "I won't let you get hurt again" and the realization of what it means to be an older brother and finally understanding raphs own overprotective tendency, mikey will definitely grow from this experience and his and raph because super close because of it, so there will be plenty of the sunset duo (I love this picture)

(Bonus #2 because I didn't sleep worth shit while working on this whole thing)

MORE BABY LEO HERE (interdiction)

HERE (Raphs/baby leo playtime)

AND HERE (mikey/babyleo + donnie/babyleo playtime)

But wait, there's more (April meets little leo)

Characters and (rough) story

Little baby blue AU

[mittensmorgul]

Hi everyone! I just need like two minutes of your time.

Have you enjoyed all the scripts that the @spnscripthunt has posted over the last few years? Have you screenshotted them and written meta and made gif sets or just cried over your favorite scenes again? Have you supported the group in any way?

Would you like to OWN one of those scripts, autographed by the stars of Supernatural?

Maybe you miss participating in GISH, doing some wacky fun good in the world and the style of fundraising we learned there-- that many people making small contributions can come together to change lives.

Well, we are down to our last little stack of scripts now, with no new scripts coming on the horizon. This project has been thrilling, and we're trying to send it all off with a bang. We're giving away the final portion of the collection, all signed by the cast and crew, and hopefully doing a little good in a very big way.

We picked RIPMedicalDebt as our final charity, because of the exponential power of increasing how far our donations will go. $10 donated pays of $1,000 of medical debt, free and clear with no tax burden to the recipients! With a small donation, you could literally change someone's life.

We get that folks outside the US might not understand how completely messed up the US healthcare system is, so for some perspective, 65% of people who file for bankruptcy in this country do so directly because of crushing medical debt. We know personally how horrifying the medical insurance system is in this country. One illness, one accident, can be financially devastating. But we can save a few people from having it completely destroy their lives.

We got the idea from John Oliver. This entire episode is eye-opening about debt in the US in general, but the part we're specifically interested it begins around 17 minutes in.

We're already a quarter of the way to our goal! Thank you to everyone who's already donated! What we need now is to spread the word!

If you've spent any time at all enjoying the work we've done, the scripts we've collected and shared with fandom, we're hoping you'll consider sharing our posts widely with anyone who might be interested. Our contact network has been demolished as twitter collapses (and historically the vast majority of our contributors have come from twitter), and we're practically begging just for a signal boost.

All the details on how to donate, and then enter the raffle can be found right here:

You can also see all the prizes we'll be making available, too! And if for some reason you're not interested in a prize and just would like to support the campaign, that's fine too, of course!

(but the prizes are super cool... at least we think so...)

You only have until November 5, 2023 to enter the raffle, and our final group of prizes will unlock when we hit $5000 donated (which could pay off half a million dollars in medical debt!)

Please help us spread the word, and good luck!

[nb-octopus-writes]

once you’re in the hive, the other bees assume you’re supposed to be there

[Masterpost]

Chapter 3: A Series of Unintended Events

Wordcount: 1.3K

~~~~

The pancakes are delicious, light and fluffy. Virgil only has two, because he did already have cereal and unlike Remus his stomach is not a bottomless pit into which he can pour an unending stream of nutrients. But they're delicious, and he's glad Calico convinced him to try a bit.

After breakfast, Virgil helps with the dishes because Remus still isn't up yet, and neither is Janus—probably still curled around him like a hot water bottle—and he has nothing better to do.

Princey meanders in after him, and despite having just demolished an entire stack of pancakes and a decent amount of scrambled eggs, starts rooting around in the fridge. He emerges with a plastic-wrapped plate of tiny pumpkin pies and leans against the counter to eat them directly off the platter, clearly pleased that the party having ended means he can have the leftovers.

“So you're the reason the chinese buffet has a twenty plate limit,” Virgil teases after Princey eats several in a row without pausing. Virgil had a few of those tiny pies last night, so he knows they're good, but Princey is absolutely chowing down on them.

“Hey, that was not my fault!” Princey protests. “Besides, a place that calls itself ‘all you can eat’ shouldn't even have a limit.”

“It shouldn’t,” Virgil agrees. “But I've never hit the limit myself, so I thought it was reasonably high. I suppose that a buffet operating in the same town as twin black holes would need to be cautious to protect their profit margins though. How much did you two pack away before they asked you to stop?”

“Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy,” Princey says. “Anyway, it really wasn't us.”

“No?”

Princey sighs. “No, Count Woe-laf,” he says. He is just too much fun to tease. “If my father is to be believed, it was actually him and a couple of his college buddies.”

Virgil laughs. “Oh, so it's definitely genetic, then!”

Princey chuckles, popping the last tiny pie into his mouth and setting the plate on the counter. Virgil takes it and rinses it off so he can put it in the dishwasher with the others. “Yeah. Dad says they absolutely cleared out the seafood section, and most of the mac and cheese, and ate a sizable portion of pretty much everything else. If you get him going, he'll give you a very long and probably quite embellished retelling of the many courses they had. They never got kicked out, but the next time they went, they were told that there was now a limit to just how much they could eat.”

“Ah, alas,” Virgil says. “I bet it was a fabulous feast, though.” He finishes loading the dishwasher and checks under the sink for soap. They have pods, which is very convenient for measuring, or rather for not having to do that. He pops one in and turns the machine on.

“So, if I'm Count Olaf antagonizing you, which Baudelaire does that make you?” he asks. “Not bookish Klaus, surely. Maybe Sunny? I think she could demolish a plate as quickly as you, though her small stomach wouldn't have the same capacity.”

Princey's eyes light up and he leans forward. Instead of answering the banter, he says meaningfully, “I have the full series on dvd.”

“I'm not doing anything right now,” Virgil says. Princey beams.

“Great! I'll make popcorn!”

~

They have a dedicated home theater. The tv is large, the seats are comfortable, and the speakers are crisp and clear without being too loud. Princey made a bucket of popcorn for each of them, and Virgil isn't very hungry right now considering he very recently had breakfast, but he munches idly on it as they watch, and comment, and theorize. Princey is fun to watch tv with, and doesn't mind Virgil talking while they watch.

They're in the middle of an episode when Remus appears in the doorway.

“Hey Emo,” says Remus. “I gotta get home and feed my cat before she figures out how to unlock the front door and hunts me down. I was gonna take you home on the way, but it looks like you're in the middle of something.”

Virgil considers. He looks at the screen, where Lemony Snicket is explaining that if you're allergic to something, it's generally best not to put that thing in your mouth, especially if the thing you are allergic to is a cat. He looks back at Remus. “You swear you'll come back for me?”

“On my favorite dildo and Janus's two cocks,” Remus says with feeling, and Virgil can't help the chuckle that escapes him.

“I'll be okay,” he says. “Go get Diesel Fuel her lunch.”

Remus salutes him and disappears.

They finish the episode and Remus hasn't come back yet, so they go on to the next one. During the theme song though, Nerdbot appears to inform them that they too need to eat lunch.

Virgil thought Princey might protest, given how invested he's been, but he pauses the show and gets up. “C’mon, Tall Dark and Stormy,” he says to Virgil. “If we skip lunch to watch tv all day we get a lecture about why proper nutrition is important.”

“You do,” Nerdbot confirms. “Points of note include the necessity of proteins and vegetables in addition to carbohydrates.”

“Is popcorn a vegetable?” Virgil asks.

Nerdbot raises an eyebrow. “It is a carbohydrate, actually. It is also primarily air.”

It seems that all the other guests have gone home, so it's just the four of them now. The table is back to its smaller size, and Princey has Virgil sit at the corner beside him, so they can keep talking. Nerdbot sits on Virgil’s other side, and Calico sits at the head, across from Princey.

Lunch is baked chicken and a vegetable dish that Virgil doesn't really expect to like, but he takes a polite spoonful anyway because he's sure Nerdbot is capable of a very powerful ‘eat your vegetables’ lecture, and he doesn't feel like hearing it right now.

The vegetables do not taste bad. Virgil’s not sure why he's surprised anymore considering everything he's eaten in this house so far—with the possible exception of the cereal, which doesn't count—but the vegetables are the opposite of bad.

“Why are you such a good cook,” Virgil says to Calico, who brightens. “I need to come eat your food more often.”

“He has a magical tongue,” Princey says, making heart eyes across the table at him.

Calico blushes slightly (not nearly as deeply as he had last night) and clarifies, “I'm very good at tasting, and I have a lot of practice combining flavors. I'm also not afraid of fats and salt, and that helps.”

Virgil has two servings.

Remus still isn't back yet when they finish lunch, and Virgil is starting to get concerned.

Don't forget me, he texts, and goes into the room with the couches to wait.

This couch really is comfortable. And Virgil got barely any sleep last night, between staying up late and waking up so fucking early, and also probably never actually falling into a deep sleep at all since there were other people in the room. And his stomach is full and warm. And the couch is so comfortable. 

He barely has time to notice how heavy his eyelids are becoming.

~

Virgil wakes, briefly. The room is dark. Someone has covered him with a blanket. He finds his phone and checks it. There's a message from Remus, about half an hour after Virgil’s last text.

came to get you but you were very asleep, it says. text me when youre awake and wanna go home

Attached is a selfie, with Virgil in the background passed out on the couch.

Virgil groans. fucker, he texts back, and falls back asleep.

~~~~

Chapter 4: The Second Morning

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 16

Kipperlilly Copperkettle and the World's Smallest Violin

Welcome back to Fantasy High where everyone’s graduating with A pluses and we’re *finally* figuring out what the hell Kipperlilly’s deal is! 

But, before we get to that, we have some loose ends to tie up. You’ll remember that the Bad Kids just demolished the Last Stand Exam and dropped Gavin Pundle off at the Council of Chosen office in Bastion City. It’s the day before Spring Break so hypothetically they should be relaxing–they don’t have a Spring Break project like everyone else because of the Last Stand–but these are the Bad Kids. They don’t get breaks. 

First order of business when they get back to Elmville is to check the crystal they left recording at the crime scene. They see a massive figure--14 to 15 feet--wearing a hood approaching Buddy with their back to the camera. The stones behind Buddy glow with Ankarna-style light so they check to see if Bakur is escaping the gem he’s trapped in. He isn't but Riz using his spy tie can tell it's def something Ankarna related based on the magical mDNA he's clocking. Based on the footfalls, it seems like something big and humanoid (though not like a tabaxi or dragonborn with their digitigrade feet. Giant is def on the table though).

The figure moves closer to Buddy and Kristen thinks they’re about to slap the symbol on Buddy’s chest but Buddy’s body spasms and blood spatters as his organs seem to crush. He jolts awake with a pained roar and then says in his southern drawl, "Dang, y'all. I worship a nameless god of rage." The figure kneels over Buddy and they both vanish. 

So, yeah. Good call setting up some CCTV. 

Fig right away speculates that maybe all the Rat Grinders died and were brought back to life in that way. Maybe in the Mountains of Chaos, Fabian adds. Kristen points out that KP has been angry since Freshman Year and they all finally get around to digging into the file that Riz stole. Has she always been a follower of Ankarna or was she scouted at some point because of how insanely aggro she is?

Everyone piles on buffs to Riz’s already stupid Investigation score so he gets a 32. I’m going to bullets to organize all of this info:

Her Freshman and Sophomore Year accomplishments are pretty meh. She was doing quests but pretty low level, easy ones

We find out the reason KP hates Riz so much and it’s his tragic backstory. In a meeting at the top of Sophomore Year, they see KP complaining that it’s so unfair that Kalvaxus killed Riz’s dad. She’s too suburban and normal and she hasn’t been able to find any sordid secrets in her lineage that would make for good plot hooks essentially. Her parents went to *Mumple* for Cassandra’s sake! Over the course of Sophomore year she started having rage outbursts. and saying that kids with tragic backstories had an unfair advantage in adventuring and their grades should reflect that. 

She talks about how much she loves her party. The way she speaks, she's def the leader (which we kinda already assumed from the vibes). She seems especially fond of Lucy and says that she's the only one who sort of "gets it". Apparently, KP came up with the name "High 5 Heroes" and Lucy was supportive of that because it meant a lot to KP. Rat Grinders was a name that Ivy and Oisin came up with (they're the other pair of besties in the group which checks out because they were the ones hanging out and playing beer pong together). Ruben voted for the change to piss off KP and Mary Ann voted for it as well and refused to elaborate (on brand). 

In her Junior Year she gets even more unhinged. She talks about wanting to straight up murder Kristen. She thinks Kristen is going for President as a joke and won't even do the job when she's elected. And she he hates Fig for boxing her out from confronting Kristen.   

There's a note that, for Spring Break, they're going to the Mountains of Chaos for the second time. The last time they went was a week or two after Spring Break last year, right before Lucy died. They had a school chaperone because it was too high an adventure for their abilities in the school’s view and no prizes for guessing who that was: Jace Stardiamond. 

As we kind of already know, KP has been gathering Bad Kid info via Jawbone--specifically, stuff about the Prompocalypse/Kalvaxus fight and the Yes! Stuff. These questions are coming Sophomore Year, post the first Mountains of Chaos trip. 

With a dirty 20 Insight, Fig sees that, starting at the end of Soph Year, there's a change in KP's language where it goes from, "I don't think X is fair"/"I think they get special treatment" to just straight up, "I hate them."

The group wonders if Jace is the mastermind here and scoped out which of the students were susceptible to rage poisoning or if maybe he died during that mountain trip and got taken over just as much as everyone else. As far as they know, he was super chill prior to this. 

They take a brief detour to razz Fabian about The Incident in his dance class with some excellent puns and then another brief detour to IRL razz Murph because he makes the grave mistake of saying the phrase, “honor the cock.” And then, Kristen has a brain blast. She wonders if maybe the difference between someone who gets a crystal put in them and comes back as a rage person (eg: Buddy) vs someone who is left in limbo like Yolanda and Lucy is that you get a choice and you can either come back full of rage or refuse and stay dead with the mark on your chest. Brennan doesn't even make Ally roll for it, Kristen just gets it in one. And everyone realizes it makes sense. Yolanda was super principled and Lucy always stuck to her guns according to Ruben. [Note: This also offers a potential reason that Ivy wasn't shocked to see Lucky at the party–maybe she thought she finally took Ankarna’s deal.]

Another list of info just to keep things neat:

They check the tape from the Coliseum and see that there's a ten minute gap between the Bad Kids leaving and the figure coming to rez Buddy so that’s a bit of a timeline established (assuming no chronomancy BS I suppose). 

They also get the thing about digitigrade feet I mentioned earlier at this point but I just thought it fit better with the other tape stuff above. 

Ruben has deleted most of his social media presence from a little bit before last year but they can see from photos where he's tagged with his friends that the emo thing started after spring break of Sophomore Year, confirming what we assumed from his old Yearbook photo. Before that his vibe was more soft rock/folk pop (based on the musician they reffed who I've never heard of but just Googled--Jack Johnson). 

The Bad Kids think they might have to waste yet another Spring Break, this time chasing the Rat Grinders into the Mountains of Chaos, but before that, they have in-town business and downtime to attend to. 

Everyone's parents and guardians are so happy and proud of them for their Last Stand victory. 

Sklonda asks Riz if there's anything she can help with and he asks if she can look into Bobby Dawn. She says  Bobby used to go to Aguefort (info that has come up before according to Brennan though I don't remember it) and asks if Fig knows he's teaching there. It seems like a non sequitur until she reveals (via Emily figuring it out at the table with very impressive swiftness) that Bobby Dawn was at the center of Sandra Lynn's sordid past! For those of y’all who don’t remember, we learned in Sophomore Year that Sandra Lynn joined a party when she was young as a replacement member. There was a married couple in the group who were older and more powerful than her. She fell in love with one of them and when it all came out, she was kicked out and slandered (even though it takes two minimum to tango, as we all know). She was basically blacklisted from adventuring after that which is why she joined the rangers. Well, now we know who that couple was: Bobby and Pamela Dawn! 

Which, ugh what an upgrade Jawbone and honestly even Gilear are from Bobby Dawn.

(Also, as an aside, we learn Pamela is the chief paladin of the church of Sol which, como se dice, yikes. That whole pantheon needs better reps. Tracker is doing all the heavy lifting herself.)

Gavin checks in to say that the Council of Chosen is looking into things but the body is missing. The Bad Kids, who already knew this, share their footage because they have to do EVERYTHING around here. Gavin also lets them know that they’re completely free from academic requirements other than filling out a teacher eval and attending graduation (which is odd considering they aren’t graduating but Aguefort is a weird school and Brennan never went to trad high school so shrug–we’ll see if that’s just a weird Aguefort thing or a something suspicious).

Back to Riz and Sklonda, he asks his mom if she's ever heard of Eugenia Shadow and she tells him that she's a granddaughter of one of the founders of the Society of Shadows (which was named after their last name--it's literal AND a metaphor. She offers to drive him to the cemetery in Ashgrove which is about 90 minutes away. 

Wilma and Digby are exuberant as always about Gorgug's success. They’ve finally fixed up the Hangvan for him and give him the keys. He thanks them and then asks about why Frosty Fair picked their tree as the new event site. They think it's just because they're heavily in the Frosty Fair circuit and also someone (who we know is Ruben) vouched for them. But they mention that the FF reps had a lot of questions about their tree including whether the tree was a Root Warden. They don't have a Druid or Ranger who would know but Kristen gets a Nat 20 (and Cass is a sylvan goddess so it checks out that she would know some stuff about trees). 

A Root Warden is a tree that is so magical that it's a little more alive  than a normal tree (without fully being a treant) and has an Int of like 1 or 2 instead of zero. So it's basically the big, old tree that guards the other trees in the area and tells them when to have their guards up and protects them from general bad mojo. Brennan calls it a sentinel. The Thistlespring tree is the Root Warden for the trees in all of Elmville county.  Gorgug rolls too low to tell if the tree is corrupted but his parents do tell them that the people who came by to check on the tree dropped something into the roots with eye droppers that was absorbed. Everyone is worried about rage pollen, especially since it’s the middle of spring. And once he’s looped in, Riz can see on a map that Loam Farm is significantly outside the tree network that Thislespring tree is a part of. It seems clear that they were trying to make sure they were not only operating within the network but poisoning its very heart. 

Fabian gets a proud message from his dad now that they’re synced up with infernal/material plane communication. Gilear asks Fabian about baby clothes so, naturally, he burns them all. He also gets another 20k gold allowance because his life is full of intense highs and lows and that’s about it. 

Kristen’s parents text her to ask her to make sure Bucky is going to his classes. Suspicious! She agrees to check up on him. 

Aelwyn has accepted the job at Leviathan so she starts coming by the mansion again since there's a door/portal to the library which saves her the spell slot. Adaine tells her she can just come back home if she wants and Sandra Lynn agrees. Aelwyn asks if all her cats can come and everyone says yes, even if it means kicking out Kristen (which is a joke…mostly lol). So yay, Aelwyn is back in the bunk beds baybee! And during the month of my birth irl and in canon. Ty Brennan. Kristen tries to verbally spar with her because she knows Aelwyn is uncomfortable with people being too openly nice to her but Aelwyn accidentally claps back too hard and sends Kristen running back to her room near tears. Sorry, K! She’s working on her people skills! Fig of course has her President’s back and gives Aelwyn a wet willy which majorly grosses her out but she doesn’t sling any retaliatory spells. Progress! 

Gorthalax makes sure that Fig knows he’s always a resource for any help with anything infernal. Meanwhile, Adaine has a couple of spells she wants to cast. She makes a Simulacrum of Kristen, to make it confusing for anyone who wants to go after Kristen. It’s a clone of her with half her HP which is slightly British and slightly straight. She casts Legend Lore on Kipperlilly and gets no info which means she’s a basic ass bitch. (Riz, in comparison, does get a ping but it’s for being the 5th person to summon the Night Yorb so he is keen to do better than that). Finally, she casts Scry on Kipperlilly and doesn't get anything because she has Nondetection casted on her. She realizes that all of the Rat Grinders do at all times which is 18 third level spells a day which is crazy. Clearly, they’re scared. 

Graveyard time! On Saturday, they head to Ashgrove and find the grave of Eugenia Shadow who died at the age of 111. Adaine swaps to Ethereal Vision to try and find her but Riz (with his Blindsense) is the one who finds her (she’s carefully ducking behind Adaine to dodge her line of sight). Eugenia is annoyed to have two students find her in one year but very happy to drink, smoke, and do drugs with the Bad Kids(just go with it). 

Despite being dead, Eugenia knows a lot about stuff that's going on and congratulates them on passing their Last Stand. Riz asks her about what "the Rogue teacher found her" re: Kipperlilly means and Eugenia says that KP somehow found out that she was dead (despite the fact that as far as Shadow knows, the only records of her death exists in Aguefort’s office) and showed up at the grave with a rented backhoe, threatening to dig her up unless she showed basically. Which, yes, is grave desecration and messed up but is it any more messed up than the concept of a rogue in general? Like, I hate KP as much as the next person but this feels like normal rogue behavior. As Eugenia says in this very scene, rogues do crimes! Anyway, Eugenia reiterates something we already knew about Kipperlilly:  that she's obsessed with technicalities and loopholes. We learn for a fact that she's a Mastermind Rogue and Eugenia says that she's a lot like Riz but walking a darker path. 

As they're speculating how KP could have gotten into Aguefort's office (via Jace maybe?) Mazey comes up since she's acting principal and Eugenia reminds them that Aguefort is not a normal school with normal positions. Things are set up so that whoever is VP has to follow whatever the Principal says no matter what since Kalvaxus is supposed to be in that position as a prisoner. Equally importantly, Aguefort is more than a school. It's a hotbed of very important magical threads that Aguefort had going and they'll unravel without someone at the helm. That fact and the fact that killing her would mean chaos and not a simple transfer of power to another party is probably the only reason no one has tried to assassinate her yet. At his friends’ urging, Fabian texts Mazey to hang out, to help keep an eye on her. 

Eugenia tells them to keep their guards up and that she expects to see all of them in Rogue classes next year. She gives Riz an eval form and Fig asks about a Landscaping Company that KP contacted (which I think must be in cut footage because this is the first time it comes up in the ep. Eugenia says that the name of the company is Loam Landscaping which gives everyone pause for obvious reasons. 

Speaking of the Loams, they're on the same death clock as Lucy since it's been a while since they died and Adaine wonders if they can Plane Shift to where they are if they can figure out where that is. Brennan says that the vibe is that Yolanda and Lucy are probably with Cassandra, wherever Cass is. 

Downtime before Spring Break!

Fabian is up first. 

He rolls a 27 for Popularity. People are hoping he's gonna keep up lofi study nights over the summer and they're so psyched that his birthday is the same day as the election (the 31st). Adaine realizes that THIS must be the bday party/election victory she keeps having visions about and tells him he has to do it. For his second track, he asks Mazey out on an official date to Krom's Diner. She says yes and, on a 20, we get a very sweet scene where Fabian has a nice normal date with a genuinely nice, down to earth person.

Even though she's not supposed to play favorites, she tells him that Kristen's basically demolishing Kipperlilly in the election so far (which she is impressed by because she didn't think Kristen was going to take it seriously). She also lets them know that technically any place (including a big house party perhaps) can be a polling place as long as someone from the school admin is present (which could potentially be Mazey or Riz). 

Mazey gives him a goodnight kiss (getting his kisses in!) and we move on to his third roll which he uses to try and mend fences with Kristen for Gertie’s sake. He offers her any satisfaction she wants from an apology to combat and she chooses combat. With a 30 to her 16, he handily defeats her and she considers her honor satisfied. They'll chill now. And he even gives her some tips on flirting with Kristen. Trying to make sure his girl gets her kisses in too I see. 

Corsica and Terpsicore find him to give him eval forms. (Also, on a Nat 20, Fig steals RIz's eval and changes his one negative comment about her doing drugs with her students into a positive one because of course Fig loves her).  He just barely gets his Owlbears roll with a bardic and that's his last roll. 

Adaine is up next. She uses a portent to get a 29 on mystery to learn about the Astral Plane and figures out that when a god is dead in the Astral Plane there's still some level of intelligence, like how a mortal can die but then have Speak With Dead cast on them and answer questions. She also finds some weird linguistic trickery in a passage about how where gods die, where they go, and where they're borne--not born, borne as in carried. Imagine the laws of the universe hinging on a pun. Wild. They wonder if that's what Bakur was trying to do/if the proper location would have been the Mountains of Chaos.

Brennan also says she gets some interesting stuff about the Mountains of Chaos and its history and is left with the question of, "When Ankarna was said to have 'died' in the Red Waste, what does that mean?" Adaine decides to roll to learn some spells to help her party survive in the Astral Plane if they need to go and on a 29 spell she learns one new spell of each level. She also talks to her teacher (Tiberia Runsetaff) who, in addition to giving her an eval to do, says she's been talking to Aguefort (Chronomancy) and when she mentioned that she was having problem getting supplies for wizarding, Ayda left her a geocache. Runestaff gives Adaine the coordinates and she texts Fig so they can go together because she assumes Ayda left stuff for both of them.

Next, she wants to roll Relationships and throws an ice cream party for the whole manor which everyone really enjoys. She chats with Sandra Lynn who tells her that the Mountains of Chaos have been nuts lately and social animals like wolves have been killing members of their own packs as of the last few weeks. That sounds very rage-y to Adaine so she tells Sandra Lynn everything they know (except for the Bobby Dawn stuff so Fig can be the one to break the news). 

Adaine asks if Sandra Lynn will take them to the mountains since she knows the area so well from work and Sandra Lynn says they might have to sign some liability waivers but she's down as long as her bosses are down. They also have a very sweet conversation where Adaine says she’s very grateful to them for taking her in and she admits that she's not very good at being a kid. Sandra Lynn says that she's always available for any conversations that Adaine wanted to have with a mom and couldn't (on account of her mom being a raging bitch and also being chased by the Vands of course). Adaine thinks she's about to give her a talk on periods and dashes away, much to Sandra Lynn's bafflement. 

Fig does her evals for her teachers including Lucilla who is weeping over her not remembering her name and just calling her "Attractive bard teacher", Porter who is irked to be sharing a sheet with Zara, and Zara who wants to see Fig because she send her a flap of flayed skin with writing on it (the contract from Bill). Valid concern. 

Adaine wraps up her downtime by rolling to Scry on Jace and gives him a 1 to make sure he fails. She sees him sitting quietly working in his office where he's Fantasy Googling the Complicated Women podcast. Adaine doesn't see what else he's working on with a low Luck roll but on a 17 Perception, she sees that he's starting to sweat in his toasty office. He takes off his scarf and, as he does, she catches a glimpse of him in the mirror, revealing a deep ragged scar in his chest. He looks at the scar and, for a moment, his eyes flash red. 

Detention

Kipperlilly for All Of That

Girl are you KIDDING ME?

“Oh boo hoo. Riz is so lucky. School is so easy for him because he has a dead dad to avenge. Some people have all the luck.”

Man, kick rocks. And she was like that *before* she got involved with Ankarna. 

Also, sidenote, it’s not even like Riz ended up killing Kalvaxus because of his tragic backstory. He didn’t even know there was a connection going in. He just wanted to find his missing babysitter and the other missing girls! You’re a Mastermind Rogue. You want a plot hook? Nancy Drew it up, bitch!   

You want Kristen dead? You want her DEAD? You’re jealous of Riz who lives in a household where sometimes you have to eat your cereal with water because there’s not enough milk to go around? Truly, get a grip.

Honor Roll

Kristen for Making a Clutch Connection

This should really go to Ally but yeah. What a great leap figuring out that staying dead is an option and that’s most likely what happened to Yolanda and Lucy. 

This very likely explains a longstanding loose end from much earlier in the season. Ivy didn’t look shocked to see “Lucy” (Fig in disguise) at the party even though we know she was dead. With this new info, it seems likely that Ivy assumed that Lucy had finally given in and come back as a rage acolyte. 

Anyway, baller connection and she got there before I did. I love it when Brennan is so impressed he doesn't even ask for an Insight roll. 

Random Thoughts

Here is a super useful timeline of events Re: the Ratgrinders by @ratgrinders. 

I’ve seen a lot of people assume that the RG’s died in the Mountains of Chaos but I’m not convinced that happened. Because that was way before Lucy died and we know that once she died, she refused to come back as a rage person. And we know you can take a rage crystal without having to die first. That happened in the mall fight with the wizards. If they TPK’d there and Ankara offered to bring them back, then they would have come back without Lucy because she would have said no.

Here’s my current theory: They went to the mountains with Jace. They either stumbled into information about Ankarna or were led there by Jace if he’s proper evil and not just taken over. They were offered a deal and everyone went for it but Lucy. KP really wanted Lucy to join them–esp cause she considered Lucy her best friend. She tried to strong arm her into it (maybe even forging her god change form) and, when she stuck to her guns, she organized everyone to kill Lucy, forcing her into a position where she’d have to say yes to Ankarna in order to stay alive. In KP’s head, Lucy would do this and maybe be annoyed for a bit but in the end see it was for the best and forgive her–maybe even thank her. But she miscalculated the strength of Lucy’s conviction and voila. Dead Lucy. 

Edit: Wanted to come back and edit to note that it is of course possible that in the mountains everyone died except for Lucy and that's when they took the Ankarna deal, but even if that's the case, the rest of the theory would proceed as written. I was mainly thinking that while what we saw with Buddy is a strong possibility it's not the only possibility. If they died then they're a bit more sympathetic because self preservation is an understandable motivator and taking the deal doesn't make them craven--it just makes Lucy and Yolanda extremely principled. However if they just took the deal because it was offered to them then that's more eyebrow raising. Even though I'm skeptical, I'm kinda hoping their hands were forced because I think that's more interesting and we've had straight up petty power grabbing already from Penelope. But anyway, just being thorough.

"Flash of Stupidity” is so funny. 

It's not surprising that Ivy and Oisin are one of the pairs of besties in the RG's--they were introduced playing beer pong together--but I'm super curious about what their dynamic is. And ditto for Lucy and KP. Was it like a high strung one/chilled out one kind of thing? I really wish the Bad Kids had been a bit nosier about their whole deal.

Do we think KP maybe wanted to make sure the BK's died in the last stand alongside Buddy and Pundle so they'd all come back as rage people? Maybe that crossbow bolt was laced with some rage mojo?

KP being mad at Riz for trying to pickpocket Jawbone of her file when (1) she’s literally a rogue as well and (2) she pickpocketed Kristen and Buddy of their revivify diamonds is insane. 

I love Lou committing to the bit of being appalled at the thought of half-siblings via Gilear because I know he knows that every time he explodes it becomes even funnier which means it’s more likely to happen but he can’t stop because he’s Committed To The Bit. Classic Lou. 

Wizards casting Legend Lore on themselves as the in-universe equivalent of Googling yourself. 

I love the detail that Mazey’s family lives in a Labyrinth in the Red Wastes. 

Kinda bummed we didn’t get to do more with the Relationship track so the special ability never came up and Brennan had to just reveal it (it can reduce stress but also increase it). 

I am so stressed about the bylaws and also Bucky. They keep coming up and then falling off of everyones’ plates and we’re running out of runway here. 

Adaine really said, “You didn’t just kill your parents? Skill issue.” She really is Aelwyn’s sister. 

The VP has to do anything the Principal says, right? And Mazey is the Principal, right? There’s gotta be a way to exploit that, especially now that Fabian is in her good graces.

When did Aelwyn get FIVE MORE CATS?

Answered and Partially Answered Questions

Last week I made as thorough a list as I could about what info we were missing and I wanted to note the answers we got this week. 

1) Why the move to Loam Farm for Frosty Faire? (The Thistlespring tree is a Rootwarden) 

2) How is Jace involved? Why is he manipulating Ruben? (We know Jace went w/ them on the trip but that's not a full answer) 

3) What were the exact circumstances behind Lucy’s death? Who was able to put the rune on both of their bodies and what exactly was the goal there? (We know the mark is from getting a rage crystal but rejecting it but we don't officially know who did it or what the goal was though you know my guess.) 

4) How did KP find the rogue teacher? (Threatened to dig up her grave. Info that she was dead was only in Aguefort's office so maybe got that from Jace?) 

5) Also what’s her damage? Why is she obsessed with Riz? What are her anger issues about? (She's a petty basic bitch) 

6) Why wasn’t Ivy surprised to see Fig in disguise as Lucy who was at the time fully dead? (Most likely because she thought she finally chose rage zombie resurrection) 

7) What’s up with the party vision that Adaine has now had at least twice? (We know this is election night and Fabian's bday now) 

8) What made the Rat Grinders become the Rat Grinders when they started as the High Five Heroes? (We know it was a vote led by Ivy and Oisin and joined by Ruben and Mary Ann but not the why behind it) 

9) Where exactly is Cass right now? (We still don't know for sure but it seemed like a realm within Ankarna’s dead body which is prob in the Astral Plane. We do know Lucy and Yolanda are prob with her as of this ep.)

As an aside, we still don’t know how Oblivati Mori was broken to write Ankarna’s name before the Bad Kids found it but is it possible that the person who wrote it was Ankarna herself? Because Ankarna is still “dead” right now, right? Because she’s been active all the same. Oblivati Mori disallows others from speaking your name but does it disallow the god themselves from speaking or writing their name if mortals find them somehow? Kind of a stretch but I’m wondering if there’s enough wiggle room there to make something happen, especially since this episode Brennan said that gods retain some intelligence even when they’re dead on Adaine’s high roll. I dunno, just spitballing. 

(Also, I don’t remember where I saw this but remember how Aelwyn said KP is randomly loaded? The previous best guess on that was money from Oisin–the boy who was just gonna give Adaine diamonds–but is it possible that she’s spending the embezzled Frosty Fair money? We don’t know much much it was so hard to say if it was enough to be funding whatever this is. But wanted to throw that out there since we’re tying loose ends as much as we can.)

Anyway, can’t wait for next episode which I’ve been told will be more than THREE HOURS LONG and Brennan said in the AP that it’s gonna be a doozy. Excited, trepid, and preemptively bracing for another long haul review. See you then!

[oraclesraycons]

More yan barbs. Omegaverse this time. This is cringe and shitty but at least I'm not chatgpt

---‐--------------------------------------------------------

Many people nowadays kept their designation's to themselves, least if they wanted to be polite, and you were no exception. Though you did tend to be a bit anal about it; Barbara didn't think she'd met anybody who'd went to the lengths you did.

She knew a lot about you, but that was one of the very few things that eluded her. If it had been a few decades earlier she might have been able to find it on work documents, but anymore any time off needed for heat or rut is just covered with general time off. And any other clear signals were kept well under wraps.

You kept scent blockers on in the most casual of places, kept your own spaces private, and accentuated your own stubborn and aggressive behavior in the hopes of passing better as an alpha. It wasn't that you didn't want to be an omega; simply that you'd been independant person since childhood, to the point you'd cause yourself more trouble for it. The coddling that came with people discovering the fact was unbearable; you were a human being, not some child.

It was also why you tended to be drawn more to having betas as friends; and she was no exception. Of course when she realized this, Barbs was sure to make use of it. It helped she in particular had such a strangely comforting presence. You assumed it had to do with her scent, but you'd always struggled with your sense of smell, so it was hard to be certain.

And though she didn't want to admit it, that was mostly the case. Anytime you'd burst out and cause a ruckus over someone overstepping boundaries or being an ass, there was something in the air that put her on edge. She could never put a finger on it, but it worsened an already sickening need to placate you. And she knew you so well by then, it was no issue to distract you with something. In a few minutes flat you'd be pleased as punch again, talking about some odd events you'd heard on the news or from your coworkers. It was ironic, you tried so hard to put up a reserved stern persona. It would've been frightening how easily she could peel you open, if you hadn't been waiting for someone to do that all your life.

The day after you'd invited her to your space for the first time, you spent nearly all your morning preparing. Any sign of a potential nest in the living room was demolished, you opened the windows for a bit to air out the room, used what was likely an ungodly amount of air freshner in the hopes any scenting outside of the bedroom would be gone, and then picked up the floor to give her the space to move around. Hopefully that'd be good enough right?

It was not good enough. During a break in the binge watching session both of you realized you were starving, and of course had not thought to make plans for this. Barbara gets a slightly pouty look on her face, and mentions a Chinese restaurant she hasn't been to in forever, but they only offer takeout-

And you of course blunder without thinking and mention you'll have no problem going and picking it up anyway. She tells you what she wants and makes a recommendation for you, and as you dash out the door ("Don't forget your wallet!) you vaguely hope it's not something you're allergic to.

The truth is the takeout's mediocre at best, but it's takeout with no website, which buys Barbara time. Plus she has your medical files, the last thing she'd do is have you go somewhere that could get you sick. With you out the door, she moves quickly to set up any surveillance she'd like. Nothing too conspicuous of course, she knows how observant you can be, but she just wanted enough to keep you safe. Definitely didn't want something to keep her company during her nights as Oracle. Definitely didn't want to snoop either.

She'd been disappointed, but not surprised at how much you'd covered up before she visited. Despite your best efforts, the excess of nesting materials, and that same tense scent flowing through the air told her all she needed to know. The scent was even stronger when she'd visited your bedroom; struck in the face with the scent of citrus, and what she immediately recognized as burnt wires. If she didn't know any better she'd think there was an electrical fire in the apartment (she still checked for one of course, what sort of friend would she be if she didn't-). No wonder she'd get so on edge when you got pissed. Bitter or burnt scents weren't uncommon, but they usually weren't this strong, and it made her worry. How stressed had you been lately?

Her heart sunk to stomach. She thought she'd been doing her best to ease your worries, but it seems she'd been missing something. She makes plans to rectify the matter as she heads back to living room. Just in time too, a couple minutes later, you enter the room with food, looking excited and just a bit haggard.

("Hope I haven't made you wait too long!"

"Don't worry about it, you went to all that trouble, I couldn't be made at you for that!)

You both go back to your series, and Barbs starts making plans in advance for whoever's she'll have to threaten in the near future.

[baileypie-writes]

Veneer x male reader where the reader is just getting fucking demolished by a cold, fever, stomach ache and a sore throat pwease🥺

A/N ~ Sure! I decided to make this a part 2 of one of my previous fics. Hope you enjoy!

~I’ll Take Care Of You!~

~Part 2~

(Part 1 here!)

Veneer x Male!Sick!Reader

Fandom: Trolls 3: Band Together

Relationship: Romantic

Synopsis: Your cold has gotten much worse. Luckily, Veneer remains by your side.

Warnings: sickness(Reader), stomach ache but no vomiting(Reader)

You were sure you were dying. Three days before, you thought that this was just a mild cold. But oh, how wrong you were. Your fever and sore throat were still there, and they brought a new friend. A stomach ache.

For the last few days, you’ve been decaying in your bed, only getting up to use the bathroom and to shower. Food, water and medicine was being supplied by Veneer, who insisted on staying over to take care of you. You didn’t have the energy to argue, so you just let him. You felt a bit bad though, because his sister, Velvet, calls him at least three times a day to try to get him to work on their songs. But each time, he rejects. He has his mind set on nursing you back to health.

~~~~

Another coughing fit erupted out of you, this one being the third one today. It was just about ten seconds long, but it felt like an eternity of you almost throwing up your own lungs. As usual, when it was over, Veneer hands you a glass of water, and you chug it down. The cold liquid cools down the fiery itchiness, but only for a few seconds. You feel pure disappointment and despair as the familiar, but uncomfortable symptom of your cold comes back.

You groan loudly. “Why can’t I just be better already?”

Veneer gave you the saddest look. It almost looked like he was more miserable than you. Almost. “I’m so sorry (name)! I wish there was something more I could do.”

“Trust me, Veneer, you’re already doing a lot. I didn’t ask you to take care of me, but you are anyway. That’s more than I could ask for.” You reassured him. He gave a small smile.

Suddenly, his phone rang. You looked at the caller icon. Surprise surprise, it was Velvet. Right on schedule. Veneer rolled his eyes. “She’s probably calling to complain again. He right back.”

Once he left the room, you layed down and just stared at the ceiling. You felt your eyelids get heavy, and you started drifting off.

~~~~

By the time you woke up, the sun was setting. You yawned, at looked around the room. Veneer was sitting at your desk, scrolling through social media. When he heard you, he turned to face you.

“Hey! How’re you feeling?” He asked.

As you woke up more, you realized that you felt much better than you did before. Your throat wasn’t as sore, and your stomach ache was mostly gone. “I actually feel… a lot better. I guess all that medicine is working.”

“Great! I’m so happy for you!” He ran over and gave you a hug. He also felt your forehead while he was close. “I think your fever is gone too!”

You smiled, and returned the hug. “It’s all thanks to you. Thanks for taking care of me.”

“It was nothing!”

~~~

(Two Days Later…)

You were beginning to think that the hug wasn’t such a good idea, as you scrambled through Veneer’s kitchen to fulfill his many requests.

You had gotten him sick. And a sick Veneer was not easy to take care of. You silently cured Velvet for ditching you. But hey, at least you can repay your boyfriend for passing your sickness onto him. Even if he was being super needy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~baileypie-writes

[wolfsclothing6]

Well well well....One lucky fellow has contacted me and said that he is currently a bearish guy that has muscle but he wants to be more. He really wants to push that bear body of his to the max and I’m all for it. So all I can say is just wit for it. The things of change are about to set in on you and a new further awaits.

So first things first. I know that you have a prized set of abs. But those don’t really say bear to me. So those have to go. I’ll give you one last night with them. But after that you’ll never have them again. I’ll make sure of that. From this day forward you’re going to struggle to keep the pounds off. You wake up in the morning and you feel your muscle aching from the workout the day before. You stumble to the bathroom only to realize that your stomach has a slight bloat to it and you hear your stomach growl. Lucky for you your kitchen has been stocked with high protein high fat foods that guaranteed to pack on the pounds. You’re going to find that your body now naturally flexes to show the muscles that is growing. You make it to the gym and find that you have nothing to wear expect your speedo but somehow that seems like normal gym wear for you now.

Hair seems to be traveling across our body now. Even after just a day you can tell your body had changed dramamtically. You start to wonder if you should have asked for your bear body to be pushed to max. You’re on you way home and your hunger intensifies to the point that you have to stop for fast food. You shove the greasey burgers in your now bearded fast but the food doesn’t seem like it can get in you fast enough. You get home after demolishing 3 burgers but that only finished you appetite a little. You get to your kitchen and make a protein shake or 4 and slam them back in one long gulp. Now that your hunger is gone you feel tired to the point that you just want to fall asleep in the kitchen. Still dripping sweat from the gym. You make it to the living room and crash on the leather sofa on now realizing how amazing the leather smells against your sweaty hairy skin. You quickly fall asleep. As you sleep your body changes more. Softening edges to you muscles. Hair thickening in all places of your body. You iq even starts to diminish. Loosing a point here and there. By the time the morning comes you’ve lost 10 points leaving you at 115 iq. You roll over on the couch forgetting your not in your bed and fall to the floor with a loud thud. You manage to sit up and looking down notice that you belly sticks out further now resting on your lap. The hair has definitely thicken and has even started sprouting over the tops of your feet which now look bigger than they did before.

Just like the day before you get the intense hunger. Making it to the kitchen you demolish it making a high protein breakfast topped with several protein shakes. You catch a huff of your body. Dropped sweat thanks to the added heft making you work harder at simple tasks. And now that you slept on the couch. Leather. Something you never though would make you horned up. But you were hard. But your growing body demanded you workout. Pleasures had to come later. You get to your car noticed only now that you had the clothes on from the night before. And no shoes. Looking down you wiggle your hairier toes and almost right before you eyes you can see more hair sprouting on them. You’re shoes definitely won’t be fitting them anymore. You look to you right and see a pair of slip on shandals. They are a tight fit. But they will work. Good thing it’s weight day. Who are you kidding. Cardio isn’t for a body like your anymore. You look in the rear view mirro to leave only joe noticing that you bald. But where that hair fell out it all seems to have landed on your back as you can see hair going over to it shoulders and poking up from behind. You make it to the gym and your already sweating again. When you’re working out you hear some of the other meat heads making comments about the hairy beef that you are now. It instantly angers you and you threaten to beat them if they don’t stop. After that run in you made quick work of the rest of workout. You make it back to the car and right when you are getting in you slip as you sandal breaks under the increased size of your foot. You leave it on the ground and speed away. You’re so hungry that you follow the same pattern you did the previous day. Only this time you get 6 burgers and cram them into for bearded face. You too if off with 3 large cokes. By the time you get home your belly is rounded than ever but your still hungry and continue to consume the protein shakes that you know will undoubtedly make you beefier than you were before. You know you wanted your bear body pushed to the max but you begin to the feel that this is too much. Your shoes don’t fit you anymore. And you haven’t stopped sweating since this started. You pull out your phone to message the person that is making all these changes happen to you but you find the phone is really hard to use for some reason. You struggle to operate the small object with your big bear hands. Hair now spreading over the backs of them. You didn’t know it but over the course of say you’re iq dininished even more. Now at 105. After finding the phone too complicated to work you try to find the number written down in the living room but you get distracted watching a body building show on tv. Now even noticing that your own muscles are swelling more as well. You fall asleep on the couch in a puddle of your own sweat.

That night you dreamt of the ansimlle life. One where thinking didn’t really need to be done and you were only good for one thing. Lifting and eating. You remember having a conversation with a man and telling him how you wanted to be HUGE. A mirror in front of you and your reflection is too big to fit in the mirror. You’re happy. Why would you want to stop the change. As you sleep you having your simple dreams your iq drops even lower. More rapid this time leaving you at 85 when the sun touches your bearded face. You slept sitting up through the night and when waking up you see nothing but hair. And big boulder gut. You hear an inhuman growl coming from it and putting your hand on you belly you can feel the growl coming from hunger. Again you destroy the kitchen. You’re almost out of protein you find as you eating more and more. Fueling your body to blimp our even more. You go to the bathroom turning sideways to get into the room and see that not only are you bigger. You seem to have aged several years over night. You had to be in you late 40s now.

By now the diminished iq is making these changes easier to accept. You love being a huge guy. That’s why you’re always inspired to eat and lift more and more. You go to the bar down the road where you there is always some bikers. You just wanted some beer to fill the tank that is your gut. He was working on his 7th beer when he realized that everyone in the bar was looking at him with lustful eyes. Then it occurred to him that he was only wearing shirts. And muscles glistening from sweat with matted hair. It didn’t help that the bar was like a sauna. He was welcomed to the bar again the following day and this time was asked to show up in proper leathers by the bears that drank there. Only problem was that there weren’t really any leathers that could fit the Massive bulk that he was. By the end of the week you have changed and aged even more. The gym being in the past but still your body maintains the incredible bulk that you had. Only now you look to be 60 and as hairy as ever. Country and leather is life for you now.

Now that your bear body has been pushed to the limits you’ll find that life is more interesting for you now. You’ll always have problems finding shoes and you’ll always be a sweaty man smelling of leather now. And I think that you give HUGE a new definition. So what do you think ?

@kinky-mans-blog

[raineandsky]

A Date in Exchange

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

The hero’s parents know how to throw one hell of a party. Even from outside the villain can see the lights turned low, the shadows of people lurking in the windows. They knock on the door—the hero arrived early to help set everything up, but the villain feels a little lonely turning up alone for the first time.

“You came!” the hero’s father opens brightly, wrapping the villain in a hug usually reserved for family unseen in months. “I was so worried my wife had scared you off for good. Please, come in, meet some people.”

The villain steps over the threshold, holding out a small box to him. “Happy birthday.”

The man’s face lights up, the complete opposite to the villain’s own blatant awkwardness. He pries it open to look inside, only getting more ecstatic when he sees the contents—a figurine of a particularly jacked up sports car. “Ah, I love it! How’d you know cars were my thing?”

There’s a series of pictures in the master bedroom of him sitting in various race cars. “Just a lucky guess.”

He ushers them inside more, setting the box down with some of the other gifts he’s received. “[Hero]’s just in the kitchen with their mother,” he says with a smile. “I have some people to entertain, I'm afraid, but we’ll catch up later, okay?”

The villain gives him a smile as he disappears into the swarm of people in the hallway. They take his words as an instruction, and as promised the hero is in the kitchen, carefully arranging snacks on plates and swatting away anyone who tries to nab any. It’s oddly endearing, and they ignore how their mind is faintly screaming DOMESTIC at them.

They lean against the doorframe for a moment, watching the hero and their mother work their magic on the spread of plates in front of them. It’s only when the hero glances up to shout at someone for stealing a piece of cheese that they notice the villain there, their face breaking into a surprisingly relieved grin.

“[Villain]!” they practically announce to the entire party. They beckon the villain over, and they know they have to allow whatever soppy shit is about to happen in front of their audience. The hero wraps their arms around their neck loosely. “I’m so glad you made it.”

Because you had every reason not to come is left unsaid.

“Sorry I’m late. Traffic was rough.” The most traffic the villain faced was sprinting across the road in front of speeding cars, but the hero’s mother doesn’t need to know that.

“That’s quite alright, dear. I don’t suppose you could give us a hand with these plates, could you?” She passes them a pair of plates, loaded dangerously high with tiny foods, and the hero gives them a knowing glare. Eat as few as possible, please.

The plates find their ways to various tables around the house, and they’re demolished almost instantly. “Your father’s friends are goddamn hungry,” the villain comments when they come across the hero again a little later.

“I know.” It comes out as a petty whine, and the villain snorts amusedly. “God, I can’t do this all night. I didn’t come here to be a waiter.”

They pick up some food from the plate next to them—a pair of skewered pigs in blankets, by the looks—and pass one to the villain.

“To our last big rodeo,” the hero says with a laugh, and the villain has to hold back the guilty expression threatening to come out.

“To the last,” they echo a little painfully, and the hero carefully bumps their food against the villain in some incredibly inaccurate toast.

The pigs in blankets aren’t bad. A little crispy, perfectly cooked. There’s a faint taste of herbs amongst the flavours.

“Did your mother make these?” the villain asks after a moment. “They’re really good.”

“She prides herself on her home cooking.” The hero peeks past them and into the hallway beyond. “Speaking of, I bet she’s making more right now. It’s only a matter of time before she comes after us to dish them out again.”

“Never thought I’d team up with you on something like this,” the villain comments, earning a laugh, “but I would like to avoid that too.”

As if on cue, the faint call of the hero’s mother floats down the hall like a warning bell. The two share a look, and the villain follows without question when the hero takes off in the opposite direction.

The hero practically skids to a stop in front of a door, throwing it open dramatically. “She won’t look for us in here ‘cause she thinks we’re somewhat sane.”

The villain glances inside with a disgusted grimace. “Are you seriously asking me to get in a tiny understairs cupboard with—”

The villain barely has time to question the stupidity of the option before they’re butted inside, the hero following with a final slam of the door. It’s nearly pitch black in here, only the lights shining under the door offering any luminosity. The villain can’t really see, but they sure can feel the hero very, dangerously close to them.

Warmth is practically dancing between them, and the villain flinches back when the hero’s bare arm brushes their own, bumping them against a table behind them. It’s only then that they put together the fact that the hero is very purposely leaning over them. Their body presses into the villain’s ever-so-slightly, and the villain is almost certain they can feel how hot they are from the proximity alone.

“Uh, [Hero]—” they start nervously, and they know the slight shake in their voice has given them away instantly.

“Sorry,” the hero says, not the slightest bit sorry, “there’s no room in here.”

Their breath is warm on the villain’s face. “Maybe we can talk about things properly whilst we’re here,” the hero continues, getting an amused snort in response.

“Right now? In this dark cupboard with no room?” the villain asks in disbelief.

“Yeah, it’s a bit awkward, isn’t it?” The hero laughs shortly this time, the sound drowning out the murmur outside and most of the villain’s other senses. The hero’s hands find their face—if they couldn’t feel the heat radiating off the villain before, they must do now. “Maybe that’s why it’s good.”

The feeling of someone touching them setting off all sorts of feelings, and the villain’s usual defence mechanism kicks in full force. “Ha, yeah, I bet you’re right in your element, you absolute fucking—”

The hero doesn’t let the villain finish whatever insult they were forming, closing the gap between them. The hero has to lean down slightly to meet them, and the way their lips connect is like fireworks.

The villain has thought about this moment before, but that can’t compare to the actual feeling of it. It’s like they’re on fire. They can feel the hero’s hands drifting through their hair, and their own are roaming without thinking. The hero’s clearly been nicking little bits of food all night, from the lingering mix of flavours the villain can taste on them. Their lips part more without thinking, and the hero takes full advantage—they laugh into the villain’s mouth at the startled yelp they produce.

“Sorry, I can’t help myself,” the hero mutters against them. The villain can feel them straying, trailing light kisses down their neck. “I’ll save that for later, shall I?”

The hero’s hands are wandering dangerously low. The villain’s own hands are balled in the hero’s shirt in anticipation, and they know if they don’t stop them now they never will. “Maybe,” they say softly, careful to keep the shiver of their own thrill out of their voice and still failing. “We have plenty of time later. I mean, like, there’s a bunch of people around. We’re at a birthday party. We’re probably meant to be—”

A well placed kiss against their jaw and a deft hand between their thighs is enough to shut them up. “You talk too much,” the hero mumbles, and the villain can feel their stupid fucking grin against their skin.

“Surprised you didn’t know that already,” the villain practically has to choke out, and the hero hums in innocent amusement at their overly forced nonchalance.

They’re getting dangerously, dangerously close to not stopping the hero. The hero lets out that dumbass laugh between the moments of their lips grazing the villain’s skin—they know exactly what they’re doing, the little shit. Their hand is gentle on their face, careful, sweet, a world away from what their other hand is promising at the same time.

The hero’s lips find the villain’s own again, soft, like they’re afraid they’ll break them. “I’m in love with you, [Villain],” they whisper into the silence, and despite everything happening this is somehow shocking news. The villain pulls away from them slightly, letting their fingers tangle in the hero’s hair as they do.

“You mean that? This isn’t part of your little song and dance?” It comes out a lot more hopeful than they meant it to, and from the way the hero lays a seemingly endless stream of kisses on their face they already know the answer.

“I’ve known it for a while, I just didn’t know how to say it.” They laugh slightly, the sound tickling slightly against the villain’s skin. “So, now that it’s out there, I have to ask. Can I take you on a real, actual, serious date?”

The villain wishes the hero could see the victorious grin on their face. “I’d like that. We can go to the cinema or something. Do it properly, instead of pretending to date and accidentally catching feelings.”

“It notoriously never goes well, does it? My bad for suggesting it.”

The hero leans back a little, and after a moment a dull light clicks on. The villain’s eyes take a moment to adjust, but once they do they gasp in mock horror.

“There’s tons of room in here, you liar!” they accuse, and the hero laughs.

“Could’ve sworn it was smaller,” they say innocently, earning a slap on the arm. “We should get going anyway, before my mother freaks out. Like you say, we have plenty of time.”

They go to turn the light back off, but the villain catches them. “I– I think it’s worth noting that I’m in love with you, too,” they announce after a moment of deliberation. “Have been since the start, really.”

The confession makes the hero light up like the sun, and a future with them suddenly doesn’t feel so life-ending. Maybe they can work with this afterall.

Taglist: @criohfreeze

[corporatefrog]

꒦‧₊ ꒷ Sleepovers w/ Team Stan [Headcanons] ✧.*

✧.* tags: comedy, college au

✧.* Charactions: stan marsh, kenny mccormick, kyle broflovski, butters stotch

a/n: I haven't had a sleepover in years and this has made me want to have one with my friends so badly.

masterlist

Monthly sleepovers are a friend group requirement

Cartman is invited on a month by month basis depending on how much of a bitch he’d been in the past month

It’s a great way to keep him in line

“Why do the gays get a pride month and there’s nothing left for us straights?”

“That’s strike 3.”

“WHAT! I didn’t even do anything this month! Who the fuck died and made you king of the sleepover?!”

“Uh- I don’t know. The sleepover behavior etiquette contract that you signed with blood.”

“God fucking DAMMIT.”

You all go to Stan’s usually since it’s outside of town so you can be loud if you want

And get blasted but thats a tale for another time

After the sun sets, the real party begins

Aka eating pizza and talking shit 

“Clyde doesn’t know how to do laundry”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m literally not. I was at Tweek Bro’s and he spilled some of his drink on his shirt and he goes ‘Now I’ve got to throw this away.’ and I almost choked on my drink, I swear to god. I told him he just needed to wash it and he deadass goes ‘How do you do that?’”

Butters gets so much tea just from overhearing it or people complaining to him 

He LOOKS like a nice guy who empathetically listens

But Professor Chaos on the other hand is remembering every juicy detail about what Bebe sai to Nichole at the mall last week 

Just saying- when the gossip girl south park account comes out, you know who’d behind that shit

Just Dance competitions FOR SURE

Butter is a kpop stan i can feel it

Yall do dynamite and he’s DEMOLISHING 

I said before than stan is the type to only move his arm

But that’s totally kyle

Kenny and Stan go ALL OUT 

That guitar hero gave him mad rhythm

But they get so into the full body dancing that the remote doesn’t pick up the right movements and they end up with like 30 points 

They always TRY the tetris one 

But their ambition outplays their actual ability and it ends with them falling into a pile on the floor

I feel like New Girl would be a group favorite binging show 

“Stan you’re so nick miller coded”

“If I’m nick miller, kyle is the most schmidt to ever exist” 

“Schmidt is fucking hilarious so that’s a compliment. Nick is just an alcoholic.” 

“Okay man fuck off you’re just mad that you can’t be winston.”

“Yeah that’s because I’m winston and Butters is Jess.”

“Yn you’re fucking Robbie.”

“Kenny say sike right now before I throw your soda out the window.”

You all DEFINITELY try to play true american 

And it goes TERRIBLY

Why would you play a game where you have to jump from surface to surface with someone prone to dying 

After the 3rd time Kenny falls off a chair you guys stick to uno or some shit

Midnight taco bell adventures 

they know your fucking order and get annoyed whenver you pull through the drive through

Like god these dumb fuckers again

But you give them a nice tip

And feast on the taco bell in the parking lot while laughing at whoever did the dumbest thing during the night

Wonderful vibes, truly immaculate

[unknownworlds4]

Centralia, Pennsylvania. For most of its history, the town of Centralia was a prosperous coal mining town. Centralia was officially founded in 1842 by Alexander Rae. The first mines opened in the area in 1856, and by 1890 the town had a population of 2,761 and hosted seven churches, five hotels, twenty-seven saloons, fourteen general stores, two theaters, a bank, and a post office. During World War I, production declined as many of the young men enlisted in the military. After the Wall Street Crash in 1929, several of the area mines were closed. However, many illegal mining operations continued in various places. By the 1960's, official coal mining in Centralia had completely ceased, but illegal mining continued until 1982.

In 1962, the Centralia Town Council was deciding what to do with the town landfill. The landfill was established the previous year to discourage illegal dumping and was located inside an abandoned strip-mine pit next to the Odd Fellowes Cemetery. On May 27, firefighters set the landfill on fire and let it burn before extinguishing it. However, the fire was not fully put out - it managed to enter the labyrinth of abandoned coal tunnels that snaked underneath the town.

Residents began to notice something was wrong around 1979. By this point there just over 1,000 residents living in Centralia. That year gas station owner John Coddington inserted a dipstick into one of his underground gasoline tanks to check the fuel level. When he withdrew it, it felt hot. So, he inserted a thermometer into the tank and was shocked to discover the temperature of the gas in the tank was 172° Fahrenheit. Beginning in 1980 several locals began to suffer from health effects due to the gases produced by the fire. Statewide attention began to focus on Centralia when sinkholes began opening at various places in the area. In 1981, 12-year-old Todd Domboski fell into a sinkhole in his grandmother's backyard that opened suddenly right beneath his feet. He saved himself be grabbing a tree root and was pulled to safety by his cousin Eric Wolfgang. The steam plume billowing from the hole was tested and found to contain lethal levels of carbon monoxide. At the same time, Governor Dick Thornburgh and State Rep. James Nelligen were visiting the area to assess the situation. In response to the worsening crisis, the U.S. Congress allocated $42 million for relocation effort. Most residents accepted the payments and moved out of town. Afterwards most of the town's structures were demolished. Some residents, however, refused to leave - with 63 residents remaining by 1990. In 1992, Governor Bob Casey invoked eminent domain on all properties within the town. The U.S. Postal Service discontinued Centralia's zip code in 2002.

There have been several legal attempts by the few remaining residents to stop the government from seizing their homes. The holdouts claim that the government wanted the mineral rights to all the coal deposits that remained untapped. In 2009, the state began formal eviction proceedings against the last few residents. These residents filed suit in 2010 claiming they were victims of fraud. By 2013, the residents settled, reaching an agreement that they could remain in their homes until their deaths, at which point the properties would be claimed under eminent domain. By 2020, only five residents still live in Centralia.

The fire underneath Centralia continues to burn. At its current burn rate, the fire could continue to burn for the next 250 years. Almost all the towns' structures have been demolished, and nature has mostly reclaimed the land. From above, the Centralia appears to be nothing more than a series of paved roads hidden within thick forest. There are numerous fissures all over the affected area spewing steam and toxic gas into the air. A section of Pennsylvania Route 61 passing through the Borough was closed after steam damaged and split the pavement repeatedly. There are many signs placed around warning of ground instability and toxic fumes.

The town has served as the model for numerous ghost towns in popular culture including Vampire Zero by David Wellington and Strange Highways by Dean Koontz. Most famously, the story of Centralia was used as research for the basis of the namesake town in the 2006 film 'Silent Hill' - a movie based the popular video game franchise of the same name.

[lauvwar-r]

07 from the start ⸝⸝ cold drinks and cowardice

"oh? we're not going to the library this time?"

it must be a sign, you think, holding a paper bag in your right hand and his hand in your left. it was late enough into the cold winter season for frosty breath and signature hot chocolate but warm dandelion rays seemed to follow you two and frame the campus perfectly.

"nah," you shrug, "pela said that the council agreed that the stage would be put in the middle of the campus uh- garden? lawn? grass area thingy- you know what i mean…"

"yeah! we thought the area would bring the most traction." you're not even looking at him: your nervous eyes glued to your surroundings with false confidence, but you know he's giving you that look. that sickening soft one that you often mistake for adoration.

it's… fond??

and it makes your heart race — just for a second, before remembering what he said before.

"not a date huh…" you mutter dejectedly.

truthfully, it kinda sorta hurt when you found out he said that. whilst not fully demolishing your ego and porcelain heart, it did pinch at you — like soft rope burn for your self-esteem.

but what hurt a little more was the fact that he never told you. never told you about his private account that is.

i mean yeah… i have one too, but that's because i talk about how much i like him on there, you reason with yourself. and i get privacy and everything. but, bronya? you thought him and bronya were just school friends. were you… even his best friend?

"hm?" a hum interrupts your spiralling thoughts.

"anyway! i thought we could like, survey the area. see how and should things be set out and work from there." you say with faux enthusiasm, "we can work on your quote-on-quote poster on a bench nearby too."

"...it's not that bad."

"uh huh," you tease, raising an eyebrow. whatever. who geppie lets follow his private doesn't mean anything.

eventually, you two end up sitting on a bench together that faces the lawn.

"oh come on! look," gepard laughs as he pulls out his laptop, already logged in and displaying a somewhat improved version of his last poster. the changes are minor, like font changes and whatnot. but you can tell just how much effort he put into it. effort he put into everything and anything he did. a quality of his that you love. "i got rid of some of the uglier images," he pointed out excitedly, shuffling closer to you so you could get a closer look, "just like you told me to." the last part, a whisper similar to the sweetness of vows.

"it's good…" you mumble, too busy clinging onto his words and soothing a racing heart.

"really?"

"really." you reply earnestly, hooded eyes studying yours.

you wanted to lean in. to tread past the tightrope of a line preventing you and gepard from being more than just friends; to finally speak your mind on what you've been feeling for the past few years.

but…

"ah!" you explain, pretending to remember something by suddenly grabbing your paper bag from before.

…you're a coward.

inside are two beverages and a warm pastry carefully wrapped in tissue. "my favourite…" gepard mutters, surprised, "you remembered."

"iced coffee. you always preferred things cold. and a pastry too! it's a thank you for yesterday and-"

his ears turn redder than the normal red-on-a-windy-day red. and you almost — almost considered this a win: a step over that line, before…

"ha. you really are my best friend."

ouch.

MASTERLIST ⸝⸝ previous! ⸝⸝ next!

𑁤 sypnosis. despite claiming to be 'rizz master 3000' name has failed to ask out their crush and childhood best friend, gepard, for a few years (L). with this new wave of courage, will this lovestruck idiot be able to confess before gepard buys a house and adopts 3 cats and a bunny with someone else? (this is a joke. geppie will not be adopting 3 cats and a bunny).

notes. . . omgg this is like my 6th time ive tried to post 😭 ( so sorry for the like 3week hiatus LMAO) anyways ive been trying to get into a law school for next year so college has been biting me in the ass lately. sending love to all yall tho <3

. . . tags @520cafe , @kitsuxiv , @91ed0 , @iridescentsunsetwaters, @yevene , @lunavixia , @vilthenothing , @ryuryuryuyurboat

[greenninjagal-blog]

Smoke and Mirrors

Hi :D Who's ready for this monster? Welcome to my Big Bang for this year! Special thank you to @tss_storytime for putting this together and giving me the opportunity and @dragonsarecats for being my amazing fantastic artist partner who created this cover art!

Summary: Roman and Remus don't have and never have had reflections. Logan has been betrayed by someone, but he’s not sure who. Patton's been dead for sixteen years and counting.

Somehow, all of these things are related.

Words: 3637

Read on Ao3 || My General Writing Master List

“I’m just saying—” Remus says, almost sounding excited at this new revelation of his, “—the next step would definitely be an apartment building! Think about it, Roman!”

“I am thinking about it,” Roman says, tiredly. “I don’t want to be thinking about it, but I am.”

“So many people live there, you know? There’s, what, sixty units in your building, right? At least twenty of them have got to be families with little brats, then old people with their pets, other college students with friends over. On a Friday like today there’s got to be, like, over two hundred people. And then you have the narrow staircases, which Grandma and Grandpop can’t get down in a timely manner, and I bet with all the mold in the walls—”

“Remus,” Roman says, tilting his phone so that the microphone clearly picks up on how incredibly not-amused he is with the conversation.

“...the elevator is basically already on its last legs. Remember how it shook when I jumped in it last time?”

Roman remembers it really well actually, probably better than Remus, since Roman actually has a healthy dose of self preservation. Remus had just been finishing laughing his nasally, crackling chortle when the elevator doors opened again finally on Roman’s floor, and the sight of the bruising on Roman’s face when he saw him again was enough to set him off periodically throughout the rest of his three hour stay. 

Still, Roman knows that Remus has a point. Not that he’s going to admit it before he’s actually in a casket, because Remus would never let him live it down.

Roman side steps out of the way of a cyclist who seems to think the whole sidewalk belongs to them, and readjusts the strap of his bag on his shoulder that is currently cutting off the circulation to his fingertips. The city isn’t entirely busy, nor the weather too terrible, but Roman is regretting choosing to do the hike back to his apartment building. His knockoff vans are hella cute today, but they were not made for long distance walking, and there’s a rock in his left one that he hasn’t managed to get out no matter how many times he’s stopped to take it off and shake.

“I’m just saying,” Remus repeats, “If I were—” 

“I hate to be the voice of reason here,” Roman says, “but you are not a serial arsonist, Remus!” 

“I could be. You don’t know everything I do in my free time.”

“You don’t have time to be an arsonist. Between all your comic deadlines and the various licenses you have accrued, you don’t spend enough time on this plane of Earth in order to have set fire to anything other than your toaster,” Roman rolls his eyes. “And that’s only when you remember to eat, Rem.” 

Remus blows a raspberry back at him directly into the receiver so that Roman can hear exactly how wet it is and cringe away from it. 

Remus had a talent for getting himself into trouble and trying new things that skirted the edge of legality, but he’d given up fires back when they were tweens. Whoever or whatever was doing it now seemed to be doing it with much more intention: a rental car in a half full parking garage, an abandoned warehouse in the industrial area already set to be demolished, a newly built, still for-sale two-story house in the suburbs (casualty: one, injured six). The most recent event had been two days ago when a department store nearly exploded right as it was closing, killing two employees, three customers, and a firefighter and injuring far more. The fires were slowly getting bigger and gaining more traction, as if gearing up for a grand finale and the news hadn’t been taking it easy.

The police and the FBI were apparently hot-on-the-case and the tip number line was almost engraved into Roman’s retinas from how it was plastered all over the place, begging for Cyra City civilians to stay aware, keep a close eye on things, and report anything that seemed suspicious.

So far no actual details about the whole thing had been made public (on the very valid worry of copycats), but the lack of information had left people far more options to gossip about it. So far Roman’s physical chemistry class was split between it being a handful of rowdy teenagers “rebelling” and it being a serial murderer winding up for an enmasse attack that would go down in history along with the “greats”. Most of the stores had started selling mini fire extinguishers in the checkout lines and Roman’s mom had called last week to see if he had already bought himself one, and Roman wasn’t embarrassed until he answered yes.

But Remus already knows all that, and had texted him a string of mocking emojis until Roman had asked if he should sell it. 

It’s currently sitting in his apartment next to his bed, in easy access if he spontaneously catches fire while sleeping. ((His last hook up had called him prepared, and well… Roman had been eager to show the guy just how prepared he was.))

Luckily, his beloved apartment building is around the corner and he can feel his second wind coming at even the thought of taking his shoes off and collapsing face first into his bed. He starts patting through his pockets for his keys, stalling his walk behind two older women in jogging outfits, and switches his phone to his other hand so he can check through his bag frustratedly. He’s found at least three chapsticks he thought he lost months ago, and his extra hairbrush, and about twenty seven receipts (one of which has the number of the cute barista and he makes a mental note to put that in his phone later). There’s a crumpled flier for some niche religious group that that Roman accepted partially because the guy handing them out looked a bit desperate for interaction, but mostly because they were outside of the boutique Roman likes, blocking the entrance. He tosses that one in the nearby trash can as he walks by.

Roman pins his phone between his cheek and his shoulder, using both hands to sift through his bag. His brain tumbles through the previous conversation trying to remember what they were talking about. 

“Did you eat today?”

“Huh?” Remus says, which is a Remusian for ‘What day is it?’ “Hey, how many people do you think I could murder and get away with?”

“Remus.”

“Probably like fifteen right? At least to start. Once I figured out how to do it. Gasoline and a lighter and I could probably get a full apartment building—”

“Honestly, going from no murder, to a few murders, to about a hundred is an insane jump. Even for you.”

“Well it wouldn’t be a full hundred. At least a few people would get out, right? Unless I barricaded the front doors, or like… chain-and-padlock-ed it closed.”

“The point still stands that— and I can’t believe you’re making me argue this— you didn’t set those fires and you aren’t going to set them in the future!”

Remus makes a disagreeable tone and Roman smiles graciously at the women nearby who probably just overheard that whole conversation and might call the police on him for it later. Lovely. He turns away quickly leaning into his phone.

“In fact, right now I bet I can guess exactly what you are doing!” Roman continues. “Sitting in your drawing chair, with both your computer monitors on. The left one has the sketches for the next page of your comic, half lined, and the right one has the character sheets for Anton and Pryce and the Dragon Witch. Your drawing pad is in front of you, and you’re spinning your pen in your hand aimlessly while we talk, and everything is the same way it was this morning.”

“You forgot the part where there’s a super hot stripper giving me a blowjob right now,” Remus says with the tell-tale clack of him putting down his digital art pen, which is as good as him admitting to it all. Roman pauses just enough to roll his eyes so hard he’s certain that Remus gets the vibe from his own apartment.

“Damnit,” he huffs, checking his pockets again. “Why can’t I find anything today?”

“Are you still looking for that compact mirror?” 

“Keys, now,” Roman says. “But I swear I had that mirror this morning when I left the apartment. I was late because I was cleaning it!”

Or well. Because he was trying to put on makeup via guesswork, but he didn’t need Remus knowing that was the real reason. 

“You know you could have made the jump with the right angle at the windows in your fancy science school, right? No one would even have noticed. All too busy being boring lame losers with no life, just like you.”

“I don’t like traveling without another mirror.”

“Um, hello? Phone screen!”

“I’m not going to leave my phone behin— found it!” 

“The mirror?”

“My keys,” Roman twists his keychain around his hand, and waves at the other college students loitering at the corner before he heads towards the entrance to his apartment building. “Look, Remus—”

“Yeah, yeah, homework, physics, blah blah blah, you’re not getting laid, blah blah—”

“Between the two of us, who walked in on the other in the middle of—”

“Between the two of us who forgot to return my copy of 2005′s Just Like Heaven and made me come get it myself?”

"You didn’t even like it!"

"I don’t like you either," Remus says. "And jeez for someone who looks exactly like me there are some startling fucking differences. Like length—”

“Tony didn’t have a problem with it.”

“I thought his name was Kyle?”

Roman frowns, pulling his key out of the door and catching it with his knee, thinking that night over. “No. He was definitely a Tony. His hair was… you know, Tony hair!”

“The fact that you had to rely on his hair is sad,” Remus states. “You get how that’s sad, right?”

“I’m hanging up—”

“Wait, wait! Just… you’re sure that…you’re not going to, like… burnaliveinafire?”

Roman blinks, and swallows back the ridiculous amount of softness that appeared out of nowhere, and hits like a sucker punch right through his ribcage in a way that is so very Remus.

“I’m not going to burn alive in a fire,” Roman says.

“… promise to jump over the second anything looks sketchy."

"There's, like, nine other apartment buildings and two hotels within walking distance! And like ten others around this district in the city!" Roman says, just short of whining because inside the building there are people who recognize him and he does not need them thinking all he does is whine and complain. At least the air conditioning in the lobby is running, offering relief from the horrible ten minute walk he was forced to endure. He does not get how normal people do this, all the time, every day!

"Fourteen, actually. I looked it up this morning and I don’t need your fancy math degree to know that’s a one in twenty-five chance. That’s a non-zero percentage," Remus counters, with that mocking tone that borders on awe because even after all this time he can’t imagine how Roman had gone from center stage to knee deep in calculus problems, willingly. He’d only made the mistake of asking Roman once, and since then both of them pretend that Roman had always dreamed of solving differentials. 

“It will take hours to find something that’s close to your apartment,” Roman says instead.

“At least you’ll be alive,” Remus says.

“Fine, fine….are you still wearing those dog tags?”

Remus makes an affirmative noise and Roman sighs. They had been polished relics of their childhood: something their parents had insisted that they have at all times for emergencies and that Roman and Remus had complained about endlessly. They hadn’t been allowed phones until they were nearly twelve years old because every argument of “we need it for emergencies” was countered by “you have necklaces that allow you to travel miles in a handful of inches”.

"And don’t use the elevators at all,” Remus adds. “I’m serious about this. They’re deathtraps in a fire. I’ll come over there and hide all your mascara.”

"Yeah, yeah," Roman stifles a yawn. "And if something happens, meet at that ugly gas station at the state border between us, don’t tell anyone where we are going, and don’t accept any rides from strangers."

"Don’t make me sound like Mom."

"Nag me a little less."

"Bitch."

"Dick."

"Dork."

"Geek."

"Loser."

"Dumbass," Roman says, far more affectionately than he meant it to come out as, and so he clears his throat quickly and he heads towards the elevator. “I’m hanging up now. Remember to eat something and I’ll see you in two days.”

“Two days? What’s.... ah, fuck me,” Remus says. There’s a loud creak of leather and Roman imagines Remus throwing all his weight back in his chair and staring at the ceiling as if he’s personally challenging fate itself. He breathes out heavily in a way that ironically mirrors how Roman’s own bones feel at the realization.

“Another year,” he says.

((He does not ask if Roman ever thinks it will get easier to bear. Roman does not answer him that no it probably won’t ever. It doesn’t make either of them feel better.))

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Roman says, forcibly shoving away the deary aura that descended on them as easily as he could. If he takes a breath and swallows away the lump in his throat he could pretend that they were talking about visiting each other for a birthday celebration.

He might not ever get to be an actor, but he’d always had a passion for acting. Is it any wonder? When he’s playing a part, he can shed the skin of a no-named nobody from somewhere so remote no one thinks it's a real place, and he can be someone with a name standing on center stage.

Roman breathes out so heavily that he almost misses Remus’s quick response.

“I already attempted to swan dive off the roof into a spoon today,” his twin says, flippantly. “Bruised my eye and split my lip and probably broke my collar bone.”

“Wait, what—” 

“Later, Prince Charmless.”

“Remus, you did what?!”

But by then he’s talking to the end call screen on his phone, staring into the picture of the flaming dumpster that he used as a profile picture for his idiot brother, with his heart racing. Logically, he knows that Remus is joking.

Probably.

Uh, maybe? 

Roman suddenly remembers a lot of leaping off the backyard shed until Dad came out screaming at them red in the face with worry, followed by tag games that ended with a leap through a window wrong and three hours worth of sitting still to get the glass shards pulled out of his arms, and then racing through the upstairs hall to jump the stair railing into the strategically placed hand mirror to make it to school on time.

In all honesty, Roman bets that Remus did try it, as part of a morning routine that their parents hadn’t been able to beg out of him. One would think the first time the jagged edges of a break had shredded his skin, Remus would have learned to be more careful, but somehow it seemed that Remus had fallen in love with webbed cracks in his mirror.

Roman sighs, placing his phone into his pocket. And then he presses the elevator button and leans against the wall next to the panel to take off his shoe and look for that stupid rock again. 

His keys jangle in his other hand, annoyingly loud in the otherwise still entrance alcove. It’s times like these that he can appreciate that most of his neighbors dislike the other people in the building and therefore make extra effort to not be caught outside.

The only person Roman really ever has to worry about is the guy on the third floor who he thinks might be a weed dealer and is constantly hinting at giving Roman a first time discount. Great guy, really! He just always manages to catch Roman right next to a reflective surface. It’s pure coincidence that he hasn’t noticed yet.

The elevator dings and the doors roll open with a gentle rumble that does not betray any of the unreliability of its innerworkings. Every other week it’s out of order and Roman’s pretty sure at least 80% of the building has complained to the owners about it, but the solutions never last more than another few days.

Roman doesn’t even usually take the elevator! But the walk was long, and he lives on the top floor, and serial arsonists aren’t going to set fire to his apartment building in the two minutes it will take to get to his floor. 

It’s fine.

Roman slides on his shoe and hobbles into the elevator, breathing in the musty stench that smells like it’s coming from the corpses that might be buried under the building. Part of Roman entertains the idea that ghosts haunt only the elevator, sadly floating around and gaining their small enjoyments from watching people get stuck in between floors when it inevitably breaks.

Roman hasn’t done anything to annoy the spirits recently, at least to his knowledge, so he should be okay. 

He leans back against the railing just in case though.

It takes another long moment for the elevators to start closing again; definitely long enough that Roman gets the impression that he shouldn’t have gotten on at all. The longer it stays open the more likely it is for someone else to suddenly show up and want to get on as well. There are only about three things Roman can think of that are worse than being in an enclosed space, with a stranger, while his compact mirror is MIA. 

Last time something like that happened, the other person got agitated enough that Roman had seriously thought they were going to attack him. Roman knows he’s unsettling to be around; it’s not simple to catch what is off about him at first, but most human brains can pick up that something is distinctly wrong. Knowing something’s wrong with a situation, but not being sure what and being trapped in a small compartment without a sure way to defend yourself? Yeah that’s a recipe for disaster. 

Across the alcove, the door to the stairwell opens just in time for Roman’s heart to leap right into his throat: his brain screaming that oh hey! People to join you inside your small box that Remus just told you not to get into! Even when it wouldn’t make any sense to go down the stairs just to take the elevator back up.

There’s three of them, all dressed in the very uniform pest control jumpsuits that make Roman’s insides shrivel slightly. He’d been meticulous about keeping his apartment clean and if he saw a single cockroach, Roman would be turning into the next arsonist, no other incitations required.

They’re all carrying various equipment items: a thick duffle back with the pest control logo (an ant ironically burning under a magnifying glass), a bulky backpack that nearly doesn’t fit through the doorway, and a thick leather briefcase that seems out of place. The first guy is saying something in a language Roman doesn’t recognize, with a smile on his face that is very charming, despite him being at least a decade older than Roman, as he holds the door open for the others. The second rolls her eyes, tugging the brim of her hat lower over her head.

The third has a scar from running from the middle of his left cheek all the way down his face to his neck in a way that barely seems more than a few months healed. When he makes direct eye contact with Roman, the man’s thin lips twisting into a grin, like he knows how fast Roman’s heart is beating at the sight of him. He waves and Roman catches sight of a cheap industrial bike lock in his other hand.

Please please please, don’t suddenly realize that needs to go back upstairs, please don’t get in here, pleasedonotcomecloser—

But in the end the doors close fitfully, locking out that man and his smile and his friends, and Roman sags against the railing. He presses a hand to his chest trying to regulate his panicked heartbeast back to something manageable and sustainable. 

Say what you will about Remus, but he knows best how to make Roman paranoid for the rest of the day.

The gears shudder, and the mechanical whirl of the elevator fills the whole area as it begins its ascent. Roman pulls out his phone again, swiping through the notifications that he accrued during the walk. A few responses to his Snap Chats streaks, three emails (two junk and one from a classmate asking about studying together for the test, which would be great, if Roman hadn’t already turned her down twice), a reminder to play one of his mindless phone games, and something must have happened in the group chat he has on instagram with a few other Math majors. Roman double taps the notification and swipes in his passcode (it’s an R, it’s always been an R. Remus has been able to hack into his phone since they were eleven, but Roman is horribly, secretly afraid that if he changes it now, he’ll forget it by tomorrow). 

The elevator shudders. 

And somewhere, distantly, Roman thinks he smells smoke.

[Next Chapter? Find it on Ao3 now!]