#the segway saga lives on still

[lunathrix]

I feel like The Radiance would try to one up pk and his Segway like idk a Segway without the handles to prove she’s better idk

I feel like radi has a mode of transportation available to her perfectly suited to flex on pk that you may have forgotten about

also thanks to @sudoscience for the beautiful kazoo cover 👏

[gumnut-logic]

okay so i have been having bad brain lately and struggling with life but i just took a deep dive into your ao3 to catch up on all your wonderful words and needed to let you know how brilliant you are (again) bc it’s been a while. thank you for writing the dentist. it’s such a beautiful heartbreaking story and you handled the mental health stuff so very tenderly and carefully and the way virgil’s brothers care so much and so differently, my heart just !!!! (1)

i know we’ll be home for christmas wasn’t my secret santa gift but it truly feels like it when you bless us with injured virgil and beautiful scenery and pure unadulterated fluff. what a beautiful world you have created. sotto voce is just. phenomenal. there are no words for how much it blows me away every time i reread. the prince who would be king?? i don’t normally read medieval stuff but this???? is everything!!! (2)             

shooting star hurts so much but in the best way, you are TOO GOOD to us. finally. i will stop soon dw, but listen, live, lie, laugh, learn & love??? honestly probably my favourite fic ever. i come back to it often and just weep every time because it’s a masterpiece and virgil is so perfect in it, i am just so in love with your writing style. every time you post i get a happy leap in my chest & i get inspired to write my own so thank you for making me love writing again. you’re the best xoxo (3)        

-o-o-o-

I woke up to these this morning and oh my god, I have just reread this so many times trying to work out how to do justice and answer such lovely words ::hugs you so much::

I really couldn’t have written what I have without this wonderful fandom to keep me going. You, in particular, have always been so encouraging and amazing to me, how can I not keep writing?  I stumble across your comments from time to time while rereading fic and they are just so encouraging ::hugs you madly::

I’m sorry to hear that life is being nasty to you ::offers you a Virgil to hug:: I hope things improve as soon as possible. ::more hugs:: I’m glad my fic helps just a little bit. I know I’ve used fanfic in the past to get through rough patches, so I’m really just returning the favour.

Regarding the fics you mention: (wherein Nutty babbles about behind the scenes of her fics)

The Dentist - My most recent actually started out as supposed to be funny, but I’m never in control of these things. I drew from my own phobic experiences (though not of dentists and certainly not caused like Virgil’s). I grew up in a, shall we say, unsympathetic environment to a sensitive child (I am sensitive to a whole bunch of things - side effect of my artistic abilities, I guess, has it’s up and down sides) and developed at least two phobias that messed with my life. The only thing I ask is if someone says they are scared of something, please respect that and assist them in working with it rather than mocking them. It may seem stupid, but the fear is real and terrifying. And yes, Scott Tracy, I’m looking at you - treat Brains with a little more respect, you arrogant flyboy. Not everyone has the same talents. Thank you so much for your kind words and for reading through what turned out to be a very emotional fic ::hugs you lots::

We’ll Be Home For Christmas - I feel Secret Santa is really a gift to everyone. We all enjoy reading each other’s fics and I’m so glad you are enjoying this one. This one has been magical for me. I have learnt so much researching it and I feel I’ve been on the voyage with the boys. Poor Virg, though, I had to injure him just to get the plot moving. I am so mean to him :D I will finish this fic. It has to be finished. I’m enjoying it far too much for it not to be finished. As to the world, I didn’t create it ::hugs:: The beauty of it is that it actually exists just north of New Zealand. I have watched so many videos of this amazing place, I will have to share when the fic is finished :D

Tales of Sotto Voce - This series will always have a big place in my heart as it impacted on my writing like no fic before it. I learnt so much and enjoyed it so much. I really need to finish The Price because John needs to have the last say in this saga and boy, does he have a lot to say. Thank you so much for rereading it. It is always wonderful to hear that my archived words are still being read ::hugs::

The Prince Who Would Not Be King - I’m a little scared of this one. It could essentially become a novel and it would be a steep learning curve for my writing skills. The amount of work involved is daunting and honestly it is tempting :D But not until I finish Shooting Star, We’ll Be Home For Christmas and The Hero :D It seems I can write things at the drop of a hat, in fifteen minutes, at lunch, before work, early in the writing piece, but each story gets to about the three-quarter mark and then I really have to start thinking hard to make sure I tie up all the loose ends and deliver what the story demands - this can’t be done at odd minutes, so gets relegated to time off work where I can focus, hence the delays. Plus my frickin’ muse often refuses to behave ::glares at it:: I’ll wrangle with it and will win eventually ::glares at it some more::

Shooting Star - I was looking at this one yesterday. I have the conclusion worked out, I’m just trying to segway into it. Muse wouldn’t co-operate so I wrote Together instead. This was supposed to be a simple Virgil-John chat fic. It blew up in my face. The emotions in this one just hurt. But I feel it is a conversation the boys had to have. Scott would not just leave his brother up there with a potentially murderous AI. There has to be a reason why it all worked out...and some how or other I now have to illustrate exactly that ::headdesk:: How do I get myself into these situations? But anyway, some more is written, I just have to make it work properly. Thank you for sticking with me as I stumble through my brain working things out :D

Listen, Live, Lie, Laugh, Learn & Love - I have always loved the 5 + 1 fic format, but had never written one. At this point I wasn’t sure I could finish such a challenging format (yeah, look at my long fics now, but back then I was terrified I didn’t have it in me). I also had no idea where the fic was going until about halfway through, was totally new to the fandom and to Virgil’s character and to this day still worry I bent his character oddly with the choir boy bit. It is true that canon Virgil has never sung on screen (that I’ve been able to discover) so this fic is possible, but I’ve never been entirely confident I pulled it off well. So yeah, lots of doubt hovering around this early piece, so your words mean ever so much to me, particularly about this fic ::hugs you lots::

But most of all, the best thing you’ve said in all this is that you are inspired to write. I couldn’t ask for more. There is never anything more wonderful than knowing I have helped another artist pick up a pen or brush or take that step to push their ideas out into the world. The world is so much better the more art and creativity unleashed upon it. The world is crazy about science and technology, but the truth of the matter is that art and creativity and innovation underpin everything our species has ever achieved. That and art can offer such relief from a crazy world that does not lend itself to the natural rhythms of life.

::grin:: I’m not a coffee drinker like the Virg, but you wanna see Nutty devolve into a similar bearhead to the sans coffee Virgil, just see what happens when I’m denied my creative time. You get fic cos Nutty needs to exercise her creativity everyday. It keeps me healthy. It comes in many forms and media, but at the moment it is writing and TAG and yay, lots of fic :D

Aaaand, I’m babbling. Apparently I like to talk about myself ::ducks head shyly:: Sorry :D

But thank you ever, ever so much for all your support. It means ever so much to me and the only way I can really express it is to write more fic. :D

Which reminds me - I do take prompts, do you have something in particular you would like me to write? I’ve just come up on my 100th TAG fic on Ao3 and I should celebrate. I don’t think I’ve written you a special fic. Would you like to make a request?

::Hugs you ever so madly and sticks marshmallows down your shirt::

Thank you so much for reading and being so kind and putting up with my crazy.

Nutty

(off the edge, learning to fly, ignoring that damned migraine I had this morning and worshipping the almighty paracetamol)

[goofygoldengirl]

Ok Everyone I’m On A Roll Today

I’m gonna give you a proper explanation as to why we’ll never get a Led Zeppelin movie.

Buckle up cause this is gonna get long. 

We, as classic rock fans live in an age of reminiscence. We take out our records, cds, mp3s and sit back, relax, and think of the glory days that we’ve never experienced if we’re under the age of 50. Even though we’re decently mainstream, The Queen movie Bohemian Rhapsody took interest in classic rock to new heights. It was critically acclaimed, Rami Malek won an oscar, and fans of other bands of the 60s-80s stirred with anticipation for the day they would get their band in the limelight. A fan, like myself, and many others, knowing that 2019 marks the 50th anniversary of Led Zeppelin’s (also referred here as LZ) creation (although they officially got together in 1968) perhaps are wondering if they are going to get a surprise biopic announcement in the near future.

However, I have come to crush everybody’s dreams. The answer is never as long as the remaining band members are still alive. Now before y’all get out your pitchforks, let’s focus our attention to the most important member of this debate: guitarist James Patrick Page, also known as Jimmy Page, Pagey, and Jimmurs back in the deviantart LZ community in 2010.

Although Led Zeppelin arose from the planning and careful selection of the higher ups at Atlantic Records (mostly manager Peter Grant although Jimmy was the one who went out to find members) Led Zeppelin, is Jimmy Page’s masterpiece, his opus magnum, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought of his band to be like one of his children, perhaps his favorite. Understandably, he was devastated when the band broke up after drummer John Bonham’s death from alcohol poisoning, and everybody knows he wants the band to be back together in some shape or form. This of course sparked a feud with singer Robert Plant, who also understandably was doing well in his solo career and wanted to move on. Depending on who you talk to, it’s never really been officially resolved despite the 2007 concert and Robert’s final declaration that he will never do anything Led Zeppelin related ever again, Jimmy has focused on other matters such as remixing LZ albums and releasing concert dvds. In addition to that, there are several other matters worth pointing out. In the past, and even to this day, it was extremely difficult to get ahold of LZ songs to use in tv and movie soundtracks because Jimmy, unofficially “in charge” of LZ music distribution is overprotective of how his music is used (probably stemming from LZ’s hatred of concert bootleggers but that’s a different story). We also have a long history of lawsuits that accuse LZ of plagiarism and ripoffs stemming from the 70s, that have taken a hit to LZ’s musical reputation. Looking at Jimmy’s defensive stance over the band’s music and public image, we segway to our next question.

Can a Led Zeppelin movie give an authentic and enjoyable experience for audiences?

We know from the nearly ten year saga to create a Queen movie that there was a lot of contention between the remaining band members and directors over portrayal of the members’ personal lives within Queen, and Queen pushing for a more family friendly image. In the end, the movie earned a PG 13 rating, an acceptable negotiation for both parties, and a good rating to draw in an audience. Assuming that using this model will bring in the most amount of money and recognition for future biopic movies, we shall apply it to the band Led Zeppelin.

A PG 13 rated Led Zeppelin movie would be impossible to do. No offense to Queen (they’re my second favorite band behind Zep so I’m allowed to say this) but they are tame compared to the antics that Led Zeppelin got up to back in their heyday. We’re talking about what you imagine when you think of the rock n roll lifestyle. Loud music, jet setting, partying all night, sex, drugs, trashing hotel rooms, groupies, more drugs, more sex, getting trashed at the club, pump it up baby a whole hecka lotta YOW times10! Led Zeppelin were a bunch of party animal freaks (Bassist John Paul Jones is debatable but there was New Orleans)and well you could attempt to focus directly on the music, but a lot of the music in the later years ties into that crazy rock n roll lifestyle (Sick Again from Physical Graffiti and For Your Life from Presence) and Jimmy Page’s descent into heroin addiction and John Bonham’s gradual and tragic deterioration from years of alcohol abuse had a profound affect on how the band members got along during the In Through The Outdoor sessions and is the reason why it still has a very mixed reception and is ranked low on favorite LZ albums.

A rated R movie could work, you may say. I mean look at the Doors movie. Yeah but even though The Doors got trippy and Jim Morrison was a character man, a Led Zeppelin rated R movie would be a very hard rated R. Again, this goes back to all the tour commotion, where especially in the early years, a lot of sordid stuff happened. And I know you’re thinking, I can live watching a couple of sex scenes. Oh sweet summer child who has not gone through the threshold of transitioning from a Led Zeppelin fan who strictly listens to their music to searching out their history, inspiration, stories from the countless biographies out there, we are talking about some fucked up stuff that I am not gonna even talk about in this post for fear of invoking the wrath of the tumblr flag gods, and that the more sensitive leaning people might consider to be NC17 stuff. And there is a difference between detailing this information in a niche book that only diehard fans will pick up, and putting it in a movie intended for everybody and no shit sherlock you will get controversy. 

And you may ask, who are the subjects of such controversial tales? Basically everybody, although as we said JPJ falls into bassists are usually boring category, Robert Plant had a pretty good amount of moments because no shit he was hot back then and who wouldn’t go wild over him. And our main offenders of depravity and strife? John Bonham, Jimmy Page, and special mention to tour manager (and subject of much controversy within the Led Zeppelin fandom itself) Richard Cole. And if based on director’s tendencies to capture the authentic even if it involves shock content, the depictions of these three men will garner a lot of attention. While John Bonham is dead and cannot speak for himself, the other two can. Based on Richard Cole’s tell all contributions to the classic 1980s publication that detailed LZ’s rise and fall, Hammer of The Gods, he’ll probably just pop up out of the woodworks and bask in the next 15 minutes of fame. But Jimmy? James Patrick I will do anything to keep Led Zeppelin’s reputation in a good light Page? Oh he’ll have a field day alright. And it’s not just bracing ourselves for the inevitable telling directors what they can and cannot put in, it’s also opening the huge, sticky, labeled with a giant TRIGGER WARNING can of worms what exactly Jimmy was doing that would be so controversial both then and now. Now, I know that everyone in the Led Zeppelin fandom knows what I’m about to say, probably some in the classic rock fandom in general who knows things here and there, too, but this is for everybody who doesn’t know. Jimmy Page in the 1970s dated teenage girls. And to clarify, I’m not talking about that gray line that people debate about of 18 technically signaling adult years, yet is still a vulnerable age, I’m talking about girls, minors, who were14-16 when he was nearly or in his 30s. And the relationship that is the most documented (Lori Maddox for the LZ fans reading) oh my god, it is just messed up. Like basically stalked and kidnapped her so they could meet, and in the relationship locked her up in hotel rooms while he was in concerts messed up. You might say it was the 70s, they just turned a blind eye well honey it’s 2019, and a topic as dicey as a grown ass man going after children is not gonna be ignored in this day and age where people are starting to pay more attention to issues like these. I know that if a director decides to devote a segment of that movie to that part of Jimmy’s past (and present if you think about him going out with 20 something year old women when he’s in his 70s) it will basically destroy his own reputation. Which is very, very much intertwined with Led Zeppelin’s. So if he takes a hit, LZ does too, and he cannot afford to let that happen. And if this means having to decline an offer for a biopic in order to preserve a sliver of integrity that is just dangling by a thread as old news becomes common knowledge, so be it. 

Oh yeah the christians will probably get wound up again about LZ being satanic or some shit due to Alestier Crowley and the whole playing Stairway to Heaven backwards thing but hey they’re irrelevant to this discussion

So the TLDR: We’re never getting a Led Zeppelin movie. Reputation is everything to Jimmy Page and a movie that goes into some hardcore detail about band “shenanigans” will serve us a whopping discourse for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, that will get the movie, and the band slammed hard. 

[littlemisssquiggles]

Crystal Musings: So, I finally got to see Steven Universe: The Movie

Okay. Since the events of the movie are still fresh in my mind, I’m just gonna points out the things that stood out to me the most and give my most blunt thoughts on them. Spoilers ahead for those who haven’t seen the flick yet:

So our main villain revealed as a gem called Spinel used to be the best friend/ playmate to Pink Diamond who she basically abandoned somewhere after she got her colony. Ah yes, glad to see that Crewniverse got one more card up their sleeves in the ole ‘Pink Diamond/ Rose Quartz is the reason for everything that goes wrong in Steven Universe’ trick box. 

Honestly, I'll have to admit that Spinel was my favourite part of this entire movie. I really, really adored her character and I wouldn't be surprised if everyone in the Steven Universe fandom basically became the Diamonds with Spinel by the credits. 'Let us adore you!'

Speaking of the Diamonds, their presence in this movie was rather underwhelming; at least to me.  I get that this movie wasn't about them but...I dunno, I feel like the Diamonds became those kind of smothering parents who want to be around their kids a lot even when they're adults with their own lives. I guess that was the joke with the Diamonds for the movie. Nonetheless that still didn’t stop me from scratching my head when they randomly appeared on Earth after the main conflict had ended just to announce that they wanted to stay on Earth to be next to Steven. 

And what's odd is the Diamonds' reaction to Earth. The Diamonds have been to Earth before so seeing them act as if it was their first time there was odd. Did the movie forget that all the corrupted gems were healed on Earth? Or did I forget a detail cause if my memory served correctly, the Diamonds came to Earth after Steven changed White Diamond’s mind so that she could help him alongwith Yellow and Blue Diamond to heal on the corrupted gems on Earth in Rose/Pink Diamond’s old fountain which is ON EARTH.

As a matter of fact, when we last left Steven in the series, we left him on Earth. But at the start of the movie he was on Homeworld so...I...okay???

While the Diamond ending part was random for me, at least it led to Spinel getting her happy ending. Even though I really wanted for Spinel to stay on Earth with Steven and the Gems, her being adopted by the Diamonds as their new surrogate daughter replacement for Pink is...uh....I guess it's a decent ending for both Spinel and the Diamonds.

 Overall, the Steven Universe Movie was good. Enjoyable. But...it did make me go 'huh' at the end. I figured this movie would be a segway into the next upcoming season of SU. But with the way how the movie introduced a conflict and wrapped it up in the same beat, I'm wondering what is actually next? 

What else is there for the series to wrap up? I feel like the entire plot of this movie could've been its own season for the Crewniverse to use to end off Steven Universe all together. But nah, it's still going. So, for real, what is next?

On a different note, allow me to screech about on thing---

STEVEN AND GREG FUSION! WHAT!

So it is confirmed that Steven can indeed fuse with other humans besides Connie. Y'see this is where I feel like the movie plot should've been its own season. 

Greg not being able to fuse with Rose was a small thing in their past. It was kind of its own episode and feel like Steven fusing with his dad could've been a bigger deal. Something significant to both of their characters. 

Heck, perhaps them fusing should’ve been something that happened before the movie during a period in the series narrative that was very meaningful to both Greg and Steven. Oh! Like when Greg was taken by Blue Diamond and placed in Pink’s old Human Zoo forcing Steven to go out to Space to get him back?

Speaking of which, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE HUMAN ZOO? The Movie places the plot at 2 years after the end of the last season but by the end of the last season, we got no confirmation about what became of the humans in Pink Diamond’s old zoo.

Are they still there? Were they freed and brought back to Earth? Are the humans born and raised in Pink’s old human zoo part of Little Homeworld? Forget Spinel, what happened to those humans? 

I feel like Steven fusing with his dad could’ve been a good plot to tie up the events of the human zoo since that’s a plot thread still left incomplete by the series. But...nah, I guess the Crewniverse needed a fun new fusion for the movie and decided Steven and Greg would be fine. 

Ok. Sure. I do dig Steven + Greg's fusion though. I think their fusion is the first male Gem fusion since its both Steven and his dad. But...what is he called? Steg? Steveg? Greven? Gregen? I think I'll call him Steg cause it's the best sounding one of the names.

 So yeah...that's all I gotta say about Steven Universe: the Movie. 

It was good but...honestly I feel like if the Crewniverse wanted to seriously end the series now, they could. As a matter of fact, now that the Diamond conflict is pretty much over, if Steven Universe wanted to run for one last season to tie up some lose threads from the previous season before calling it the end, I wouldn’t blame it.

As much as I love Steven Universe, I don’t want it to become one of those shows that end up being dragged out for so long to the point that the audience could clearly see its showrunners running out of material to keep the show going.

From its first season, SU was a series where you wasn’t sure where it was going to go until the later half of the season when all the Diamond business started to enter the plot. The Diamond Saga was a major plot thread for most of the show. Now that plot is over.

I just...I just don’t want SU to become something like the Simpsons. Dragged out for too long. I feel like the Crewniverse have told their story. If there is honestly more to it then I guess cool. I have a hard time believing that now and  the movie didn’t help.

I keep asking WHAT IS SERIOUSLY NEXT FOR STEVEN UNIVERSE?

I thought the movie would shed light on that. It didn’t. Just left me with the same questions that need answers.

I guess for now, all I can do is leave it at that. Overall, at least we got a good movie out of it.

~LittleMissSquiggles (2019) 

[thepermanentrainpress]

CONCERT REVIEW: “WEIRD AL” YANKOVIC AT QUEEN ELIZABETH THEATRE - AUGUST 19TH, 2019

Like many people, I'm a lifelong Weird Al fan. Watching his videos parodying artists from several decades made an impression on me at a very young age. I grew up listening to every single album he had, eagerly awaiting a new one every few years. I know the lyrics to just about his entire catalogue. The man has a career spanning five decades, and he’s still actively recording and touring; I’ve seen several of his tours in the past and they never failed to disappoint. This one had a twist—Al was accompanied by a full 41-piece local orchestra, bringing a classical twist to his diverse hits. In the past, Al’s shows have included all sorts of wacky stage antics, involving costume changes, physical comedy, and even a Stormtrooper fleet. I had no idea what to expect for the setlist or stage show this time around. In the end, I was surprised and very satisfied.

The night opened with the orchestra playing a few well-known theme songs: Indiana Jones, Mission Impossible, Superman, and Star Wars. It was really impressive to hear these classic arrangements played live by an orchestra as they were originally recorded. They played for about 20 minutes, and it was a fun warm-up and introduction.

After an intermission, Al took the stage in front of the orchestra, joined by his longtime tour band and three female backup singers in black dresses, to massive applause. He wore his classic Hawaiian shirt look, although there were wardrobe changes throughout. 

The setlist included songs from all eras of Al, including some very deep cuts I never thought I`d hear live. After coming out to “Fun Zone” (an original Al instrumental), he began with a montage of early hits. The first was “I Lost On Jeopardy” (one of his best-known songs, and far more popular than the original 1983 The Greg Kihn Band hit “Jeopardy” it parodies), complete with a video of the 1980s host Art Fleming lecturing Al on losing at Jeopardy (“You’re a complete loooooooooser!”) This was followed by “I Love Rocky Road” (a riff on Joan Jett’s “I Love Rock 'n’ Roll”) and the medical Madonna parody “Like A Surgeon.” 

Many people assume all of Weird Al’s songs are direct parodies. In fact, about half of the songs on every album he puts out are original, although still very funny. Many of them are ‘style parodies’ of a particular artist, if not a direct melody. For example, the upbeat “Dare To Be Stupid,” performed complete with helmets, is a take-off of Devo’s musical style, but it’s not to the specific tune of any Devo songs. He really brought out the originals: next up was “The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota” – a folk parody in the vein of Gordon Lightfoot and Harry Chapin telling of a family road trip to visit a true iconic American landmark. This 1989 song is seven minutes long, and I’m not sure it had ever been performed live before – definitely not something I expected to hear.

Weird Al’s talent lies in simply how much musical style he can cram into an album or show. He does folk, grunge, new wave, pure rock, alternative, and even raps quite well all in an hour. He’s up there imitating Robin Thicke and Pharrell’s “Blurred Lines” with amazing fast flow on “Word Crimes,” then he’s quietly singing on the original black comedy ballad, “You Don’t Love Me Anymore.” (“You used to think I was nice, now you tell all your friends that I’m the Antichrist.”) He’s stretching the high notes and dancing, then sitting on a stool holding an acoustic guitar that he never actually plays before smashing it to bits at the end of the soft tune.

Between songs, many video clips were shown of bonus Weird Al material. Some were of Al’s own creation – a mock trailer for the gritty Al biopic Weird (starring Aaron Paul as Al), or his role as Isaac Newton in “Epic Rap Battles of History” (battling fellow scientist Bill Nye). Others were his guest roles on cartoons as himself (The Simpsons, Johnny Bravo) or of characters simply discussing the singer (a clip from King of the Hill showed Hank Hill mistakenly informing his son that “Weird Al Yankovic blew his brains out in the late 80s when people stopped buying his records. He’s not worth getting in trouble over”). These videos were a change of pace and allowed for costume changes.

Al himself had no shortage of stage banter, greeting us and saying how great it was to be back in his hometown of Vancouver (“I’m a proud Canadian citizen, although I spent the last several decades in the US doing research”) – a line he no doubt used with every city on the tour. During his upbeat rap “Tacky” (a parody of Pharrell’s “Happy”) he ran through the crowd, dancing with some, mocking others, and leaning extra real close to smiling awkward security guards. His costumes didn’t disappoint either – viking helmets for “Weasel Stomping Day” (it’s part of the tradition!), a Kurt Cobain wig and electric guitar for “Smells Like Nirvana” (the backup singers even had cheerleading pom-poms!), and riding around on a segway in a hoodie for his biggest hit, “White and Nerdy.” 

He closed the show with “Amish Paradise,” complete with a traditional black hat and long beard, while his backup singers wore bonnets. This song, to the tune of rapper Coolio’s smooth 1995 “Gangsta’s Paradise,” is what fully utilized the talents of the 41-piece orchestra. It’s a very ominous, fast-paced tune with a large string section, and hearing it live with a full symphony backing was nothing short of epic. 

Of course, there was still the encore. After a brief riff of Beethoven’s Fifth, Weird Al came back to the stage accompanied by about ten costumed stormtroopers and Darth Vader himself. The Star Wars songs are a staple of Al’s live performances, and the people on stage were members of the city’s local 501st Legion chapter – a group of dedicated cosplayers. He sang “The Saga Begins,” a six-minute piano ballad to the tune of Don McLean’s “American Pie,” detailing the plot of Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace. The stormtroopers swayed as Vader (“this here Anakin guy”) swung his lightsaber. Finally, in the very last song of the night, Al brought out his trademark accordion. He finished with “Yoda” (“Lola” by The Kinks) with the whole audience singing along for the chorus before giving him a standing ovation.

Weird Al has been making people laugh for almost forty years. The audience was of all ages – many generations coming together to enjoy the art of a man whom we all got to grow up on. Although I’m sure it was fun for everyone, the set was especially rewarding for diehard fans like myself. Al really brought out the deep cuts and classic material, showing off his career almost to the point of vanity. But you can’t blame him – Al’s music and career has outlasted many of the artists he parodies. He’s still going strong, and everyone who bought a ticket loved him for it. He’s a living legend, the #1 comedy artist of all time, and unique in his status and image. No one does it quite like Al, and I’m sure he’ll be making us laugh for a long time to come.

Written by: Cazzy Lewchuk

[orchestraofoutrage-blog]

Racism and the ‘Orchestra of Outrage’: a prologue, part 1.

Racism and the Orchestra of outrage

It is the current year (surprisingly), and by any reasonable metric, you will be forced to conclude that racism in its truest form has been diminishing across our Western civilisation for some decades now. Western countries are the most economically, culturally politically and religiously diverse and open in the history of the world. Bigotry, homophobia, sectarianism, sexism and the rest of the ‘orchestra of prejudice’ has been in full remission for at least three generations, depending on where you live, and with rare exceptions.

This may sound like fuel for the most reactionary leftist firebrands to sound off on the usual hi-explosive hysterical battle cries. Trump is literally Hitler, we know. Nazis are in every Starbucks, transphobes are on every bus, prisons are full of minorities, gay teenagers are still anxious, and college students are still offended by what is reported on the 6 o’ clock news. Yes, Trump exists, yes, racism exists. Yes, you work in a shitty job, and your peers are doing better than you by every standard you judge important. So yes, uncomfortable realities are still a reality. But the hysterical reactionaries are exactly that, hysterical, and I’ll come back to them.

But the fact here remains, and it is a virtually prima facie case on the evidence of living in or even walking through any area in the Western world, that racism is less of an influencing factor in our broad societal discourses than at any time in history. Its not controversial to state, that in real terms, the whole concept continues to becomes increasingly minimised and specialised as people get on with leading productive lives. Yet, as anyone who dwells on the internet, and many others who dwell in the outside world will know, it remains a primary bogeyman of our political rhetoric at every social level. You can still pretty effectively threaten, bully, censor and silence any discussion with an appropriately crafted accusation of racism, no matter how unfounded or unrealistic the accusation may be.

The attraction of keeping “racism” in play is many fold. I will discuss several of the reasons for that as we go forward.

First, racism is an established press magnet. You can use it to sell pretty much any story. The word and the idea are the stuff of gossip columns. Let me put it into context: once upon a time, neighbourhood gossip in the real world would revolve around the finest of lurid insinuations- that someone was committing adultery, cheating on their husband or wife with someone else in the community. But that narrative has been played out in the yellow press. It may have reached its zenith with Bill Clinton or Tiger woods. Except in the rarest cases, the press or news dont care about cheating, or fidelity, or marriage, or anything to do with fidelity or the traditional family unit, they’re far too cynical and nihilistic for one thing. But i digress. Racism is the new best scandal you can sell, and it seems to have maintained its incendiary spark, despite being squeezed and crowbarred into our discourses and news media like a jack in the box for a few decades now. We haven’t grown out of that silly thrill quite yet.

A quick google search on the word “racism” under the “news” category for today brings up a perfect list of examples of the power of the concept to sell narratives. News stories for today include Australia consider its foreign and domestic policy through a lens of racism, when considering how to uphold and maintain their social and political values when Chinese people are buying up and insinuating themselves into large sections of their economy and their education system.  This is a news story about current-year racism in its finest, purest stupidest form. Is it racist to discuss any notion that nominally broaches the issues of nationality and culture in a forthright and honest manner, when legitimate social, economic, political and civilisational traditions investments and values are at stake? Yes, it is, in fact, according to several mainstream interpretations of the concept. The international news media dont care about the Australian people or their livelihoods or the future of their civilisation, but they do care primarily about the puerile and superfluous moral outrage that can be wreaked, like a finger-wagging neighbourhood gossip who spreads trashy half-truths and basks in schadenfreude. So we can see a story like this pop up most days (no hard task for the BBC) whereby they propagate the fallacy of the reputation-ruining racist minefield and then force real people to march through it.

Essentially Australian politicians, business leaders and academics are trying to figure out how to speak out about the concerns they have without saying what they are actually thinking. The primary fear, of course, is the fear of being misrepresented, and that fear is completely justified. No one wants to lose their livelihoods or their education, or god forbid the future of their educational system because some faceless hack has decided their legitimate concerns are sinful. And make no mistake, in the absence of religion in our social discourse, racism and the rest of the outrage orchestra happily takes its own place on the podium of perdition. (If we don’t have a structured moral scaffold on which to look down upon others, then, my friend, we simply are not journalists. And yes, we can invent our own Higher Power- lets call it “social justice”.)

Further on down the daily racism banner headlines there is a story about a racism row in Swedens world cup team due to one of their players- of Assyrian ethnicity - being insulted online. This is a sports story for people who aren’t interested in sports, but who prefer the off pitch drama and political bolloxology of the racism joust. Without prejudicing the actual story and legitimate personal concerns of the player in question, anyone who has spent any time expressing opinions on certain corners of social media will have been threatened with murder and exposed to racist/sexist/bigoted abuse regardless of whether you’re responsible for getting the team you play on kicked out of the world cup in a humiliating fashion. Its not the wildest thing to experience. Go to any youtube comment section and tell someone where you’re from. Wherever it is, you’re liable to get threatened with all manner of violence. Try uploading a video, and see how that goes.

Regardless, as i said, it makes sports more interesting for people who dont care about the games. UEFA have been on their anti racism campaign for long years now, and for the most part its working, but regardless, you’ll hear about it when it occurs. We can use racism to make anything interesting to people who aren’t interested in a subject for any other reason. Entire academic disciplines rely on this strategy, and again, I will discuss the academic aspect in all the detail it deserves in good time. But it gives sports writers an additional lever arch file to add to their portfolio. They can segway from sports into politics and social policy and wherever they want from there.

The world cup has throw up another few racist nuggets of interest in the last 24 hours, regarding controversial hand signals thrown by Albanian players on the Swiss team which references politics of the former Yugoslavia and the post dissolution wars that followed. Being that these are primarily white skinned persons, directed at Serbians who are white, this is a rather more complicated political issue so naturally its received less attention from the news media. That in itself is another wonderful aspect of the stupid game of musical chairs that media pundits and journals play with the racism issue. Identical behaviour that would be classified as racist if it were directed between persons of markedly different skin tones is an entirely different issue when the colours change. This holds true regardless of the actual context of said behaviour, no matter how legimately odious or replete with violent and perverse insinuations that behaviour may reference. Its too much hard work to sell those types of narratives in the current year.

Its of no surprise to anyone, that rather than deal with the actually potential life and death and complicated issues of ethnicity in parts of the world where the stakes are high, and where the word ‘racism’ remains its original ultra-violent and decidedly less nebulous rhetorical currency, we would rather discuss the netflix story, the beautiful and brave tale of social justice, whereby a netflix PR executive was sacked recently for the use of racist language.

Yes, in the almost exemplary ‘Mad Hatter tea party’ version of reality, this particular executive was fired for using the notorious N Word, in a meeting about words that should be severely restricted and censored when broadcast on their streaming network. While this may indeed have been a cover story of some kind, an excuse to oust a man who was targeted for ousting, the play on this tale is remarkably unironic in a situation seemingly tailor-designed for irony. In this version of reality, the N-Word cannot be discussed, even in the context where it is used demonstrably as a word to be censored. Whether this is the case or otherwise, this is the acceptable version of the anti racism crusade that we are being treated to by the orchestra of outrage.

There are at least four other superfluous examples of journals shoehorning racism into the headlines for outsized clicks on undersized stories which only reach the levels of attraction they do because of the self-propelling artificial hysteria of the racist epidemic shoring them up. But the main points have been highlighted.

We may quickly double back to reference the inherent implication of the earlier Australian story, which overlaps in an appropriate way with the miniature Netflix saga. In this version of reality there is no legitimate context for discussion of certain matters, even when those matters are demonstrably in your best interests and the best interests of your country and/or colleagues, as the Australians are experiencing. However, even in a putatively sterile environment, where the discussion of offensive language is the very intention of the participants, there is no ability to discuss honestly.

 The obfuscation of reconstructed standards and boundaries is unmatched except by the hysteria of the reaction when it has been decided someone oversteps.

I cant wait to get all this crap dealt with so I can get to the heart of the issue. But thats for another day. Coming soon..

[docandprof]

In Which I Pick Up The Pieces

Buddy,

May I just say you really have a way with words - so eloquently expressing your thoughts and feelings in writing. As I sit here thinking about all the things I want to say to you I feel like they are many, so let’s take the plunge. 

It has not been a week yet since my last post, but I haven’t just sat around all day, technically. I had an accounting exam Monday night and you know I went into accounting with confidence that “it’s easy” and “I’m so smart,” but in the days leading up to the exam I realized that it is precisely when I feel like that that I need to work my hardest. I actually just recalled something Mrs. Merchantz told me sophomore year and it is this: “Don’t become complacent.” Now I’m telling you the same thing, because complacency is the enemy of improvement - moe on that later. So I studied for the exam, and I just hope it went well. Later that night, or rather very early Tuesday morning, was spent exploring the Ringed City - the final installment of the Dark Souls saga. I haven’t completed it yet (tough bosses!), but it makes me sad that a franchise that I honestly feel has changed my life is coming to a close (just look at my username for crying out loud!). Yet it is still tons of fun and a great challenge. It also reminded me the magic of uncovering new little lore notes within the Souls universe and I hope that I am able to imagine amazing worlds like that of Souls when I become a game designer. (Since watching One Piece and the exploits of Monkey D. Luffy, I’ve realized that the best way to accomplish your dreams is to cut out the “ifs” and the “maybes” or “hopefullys” and just deal with absolutes - which is a fallacy in itself, but moving on). *segway* I’ve been watching quite a bit of One Piece this week too, which is a beautiful feat of the importance of friendship thus far. I also just got DJ started on Attack on Titan since season 2 is coming this weekend! Last night also featured RENT, the musical. Which was totally awesome! The Honors College still had free tickets left, so I said what the heck and went. Amidst all of this my week has consisted of trying to figure out housing for the summer which is such a pain. Legal documents are the bane of reason and belief in human decency. So that’s been my week, now to address your situation.

You mentioned there were a couple things bothering you, so I’ll try to say things that maybe help you feel better about them. Let’s begin with FOMO - that crippling fear that keeps us out far too late into the night and keeps us up even if we’re in. Personally, I think it’s great that you feel this way about your group of friends. I know I definitely felt that fear a lot back home, so I usually made sure to hang out with everyone, because feeling like you’re missing out on a good time sucks. However, I think this fear is rooted in insecurity in the self. I sometimes felt like when I missed out on things people had more fun than usual, which made me feel like I was no fun to be around, but you call these people your friends. They’re your friends for a reason and I think you should remember that the next time FOMO strikes. We all have responsibilities to family, work, school, etc. so we can’t be there for every experience with our friends, but we can make sure to make the most of the time we do share with them. Hang on to those memories you make, and don’t forget that your friends care about you! 

Boy - you are a strong independent woman and you don’t need no man for validation. But seriously I think you have self-imposed expectations and that’s not right. (Keep in mind during this section that there are lots of exceptions). You said you feel something in your life is lacking, and the first thing you mentioned was a significant other - a girlfriend, if you will. Now, is it okay if you want a girlfriend? Yes. Is it okay if you think you need a girlfriend? No. There are a lot of expectations put upon American youth, but I just want you to know that what others think isn’t as important as what you feel. We never talked about feelings much because we’re “men” and we don’t do that often because society said so, however, I’m pretty confident that you only liked one girl from junior high through high school, but you had a couple other girlfriends along the way anyways. I’m not trying to judge or offend, but I wonder if that’s just because you felt like you needed a girlfriend. I feel like I’m going to start talking in circles so I’ll stop myself, but I just want you to know that you have lots of great friends and shouldn’t feel like you need a girlfriend unless there’s someone you really feel a spark with (more on that later). 

During high school, I don’t think we appreciated physical education enough because I have definitely lost some physical ability too. I’m going to put my foot down on this one and say that a healthy lifestyle is important and that involves being physically active. Although we like to pretend that walking to class constitutes enough exercise, or come up with all sorts of excuses not to work out, neither of us is in the physical shape he wants to be. For me, the biggest challenge is getting to the Rec center. So my advice is to just get there. If I try to think of a workout or come up with a plan of when to go, it doesn’t really work out. But yesterday I was walking back from class with some friends and said I was going to the CoRec and that I just wanted to hurry up and get there before I changed my mind - and I finally went for the first time in the past few weeks. 

As for the challenges of academia, just don’t give up. You floated through high school on a zephyr because you are just a smart kid. You’re in the big leagues now and that means you need to bust your ass, and I think you’ve realized that by now too. I don’t think you’re struggling because you’re being lazy or the course material is too hard, I just think that adapting to change is difficult and that’s what you’ve had to do.  You didn’t have to work hard in high school, but now you do. You probably knew all that already, but sometimes it’s nice to hear someone else agree (I hope). 

The bottom line is just as you said - all of these things are controllable. In RENT one of the main characters, Roger, has this dream of writing an amazing song before he dies of AIDS and struggles to do this throughout the play. He wants to be able to look back on his life and say he did something amazing, all of which is made clear during “One Song, Glory.” In One Piece there is a young boy whose father was killed by the Arlong pirates and all he can think about is revenge and is obsessed with the fact that the pirates killed his father. However, when our beloved protagonists defeat the Arlong pirates and liberate the island from their tyrannical rule the boy reacts differently than expected. He is talking with a supporting character who comments that she thought he would be more upset that they didn’t defeat the pirates sooner so that his father would still be alive, and his response is very mature. Thanks to Crunchyroll’s subtitles, I know he says this: “But now I’m thinking about the future...starting tomorrow we have to start from scratch on our own. There’s no way we can forget what happened in the past, and I don’t think we need to. But, I think what’s most important is what happens from now on! What we do now. What things we need to do.” And I still remember what Merchantz told me three years ago about not becoming complacent. We all want to make a difference in this world, leave a legacy, but to do that we can’t dwell on the past. We need to look forward with confidence and remember that nothing of great value ever comes easy. I’ll tell you what you told me - trust in yourself (and in God) and things will work out. 

Thanks for reading to the end. My recommendation of the week is live theater. Nothing quite like it, and I doubt you can ever have too much of it. Remember I’m only a phone call away if you ever need anything. If all of that above wasn’t enough to think about I will ask you this - what is it about stories that grabs our interest as humans so much? 

Wishing you well