#the second picture always makes me laugh god I love rockets art so much

[wsgeon]

hey everyone! ummm this is peyton (also the mun of lee hyeon) taking a second shot at a second character — i have a lot of muse for this one, so i swear he’ll be around for a while… 🥵 this is ryu geon, yes his name rhymes with hyeon’s & no i do not care ♥️ he’s the lead guitarist/vocalist of meta and also the son of a former nobody rockstar, but i’ll get into all that below! like this post if you’d like for me to come into your ims to plot, click the read more for more info on geon, and/or click here to be taken to his pages: CAREER, DOSSIER, PINTEREST.

HISTORY.

born in autumn ‘97 to a “budding rockstar” (translation: “no yeah i swear our band’s really starting to take off, we sold twenty-three tickets to our last show!”) & a woman with commitment issues ♥️ geon’s dad always told him that his mom left because she had some dire matters that needed to be taken care of and SWORE that she cried the last time she held her dear baby boy, but all of his dad’s bandmates say that she was just some groupie and had to be persuaded into carrying her child to term… who can say for sure?

naturally, there are no pictures of this mystery woman. there was one (1) of her holding infant geon, but then he found out that that was actually a sound tech who worked for his dad’s band… and he just never corrected geon’s assumptions LOLLLL

anyway! he was always really close to his dad, considering they were a two-person family. he has a set of grandparents, an aunt and a couple cousins but they were never involved with geon’s life because his dad is the #blacksheep of the family. geon and his dad against the world, am i right?

uhhh geon was also kind of a black sheep growing up, but he didn’t really notice? he was a happy kid, very energetic and enthusiastic. a lot of adults in the area looked down on him & his dad, but he was SOOOO blind to it because his dad’s a god in his eyes and HE’S always been nice to everyone, so why would they not like him??? because his clothes smelled a little like dad’s cigarette smoke??? big deal

wasn’t troublesome (beyond talking too much), but a lot of people still expected bad things from him :/ “his father’s a dirtbag, i’ll be surprised if that boy doesn’t end up in jail by 20”, “he won’t amount to anything without a proper role model in his life”, “his dad is teaching him how to slack off”, “he won’t contribute anything to society”, etc. he kindaaa picked up on this as he got older but pretended not to because it was more rewarding to play dumb and keep being a good kid(tm) to prove them wrong

was basically a mini version of his dad. same style, similar features, birthmarks in the same places, same “live today, die tomorrow” approach in life, same affinity for singing & playing rock music. ummm he loved his dad a lot. a lot. a lot. wanted to make him proud SO BAD, started his first band when he was 15 and they sucked so bad but his dad was their biggest fan… you know how it is. a lot of people misunderstood him, but he was a very good guy and such a great parent

TW DEATH unfortunately he passed away just shy of geon’s 18th birthday and your boy still hasn’t forgiven the world for taking his dad when he was in the middle of his angsty teen phase — had he known that their time together was dwindling, he would’ve been so so so much better to him END TW

his dad’s band actually rocketed into the charts after he passed & suddenly they were getting loads of publicity, lots of “what a shame that he went under-appreciated” which pissed geon off SOOOO bad because why couldn’t they have had that energy when he was still alive? he’s still mad about it five/six years later

this is getting kinda long, so uhhh tl;dr, he ended up staying with the drummer of his dad’s band until he was old enough to live alone/READY to live alone, but he changed quite a bit. was really going through it, quit his band, stopped putting effort into school. barely graduated. went from being a social butterfly spending every weekend at a gig or with friends to spending all of his time on a pc or in front of a tv, playing console games. the internet comforted him when nobody else would/could and then he met the future members of meta <33333333 #newbeginnings

present day geon is still struggling, has to go to counseling bi-weekly but he’s coming back out of his shell! he wants to fall in love with life again, just wants to tread carefully... outgoing & will talk to absolutely anyone, but he still spends most of his time alone. hard to reach by text, so if you wanna talk to him, you better call/facetime LMAO. talks a mile a minute, especially if you get him going abt something he really likes. laughs a lot, smiles a lot, more habitual than actual signs of happiness but yk. ummm he has a really loud voice, mostly controlled nowadays but he still gets carried away sometimes. an absolute menace during long drives/flights, sorry meta.

funny but only when he’s in large groups. feeds off of other peoples’ energy, really good at reading a room and breaking the ice/making everyone comfortable, but if you meet him 1-on-1, none of his jokes land quite the same.

i envision him as being the kind of guy who carries himself in such a way that you’d assume he’s really popular/out of reach/maybe even full of himself, but he’s... not like that... at all... in fact, he’s kinda irritating when you get to know him. the personification of a flood followed by a drought and vice versa, always either too much or not enough. gets used/ghosted/dropped/dumped/whatever a lot because he’s soooo fun in the moment (if he isn’t in his feelings), but draining long-term.

really emotionally intelligent, in touch with his feelings in a way that a lot of people never thought he would be (probably thanks to counseling tbh). he’s very very rarely the type of person who will make you wonder what your place in his life is — he’s communicative, kind, honest. ummm he thinks that intimacy between friends needs to be more common, so he’s really affectionate with the people in his life. type of guy to tell you he loves you every chance he gets (calling you when he’s drunk, sounding like a clingy ex type beat) & greet you/depart with a hug. losing his dad kinda fucked him up in the way that he won’t leave/hang up until his friends say “i love you” back, gets kinda (re: very) upset if he’s denied that and/or a hug.

TRIVIA.

has been playing the guitar “longer than he’s been walking” (not really, but he swears it’s true).

uhhh he really likes nail art, but he’s kinda hesitant in what he tries? mainly sticks to black polish (or other plain colors), but sometimes he’ll get little designs added in as well. mainly does it himself because he still doesn’t feel comfortable in salons... if his work looks bad, leave him alone <3 he’s trying

inspired by people like kurt cobain, nicky wire, yungblud, billie joe armstrong & damiano david in the fact that he’s not against wearing dresses or skirts on stage. doesn’t do it ALL the time, but often enough that it doesn’t go unnoticed. some people say that he does it for attention because he doesn’t dress like that elsewhere and tbh they’re probably kinda right

interested in history (only SOME... dinosaurs, ancient civilizations, specialized areas like the history of circuses/clowns/skateboarding/punk, stuff like that yk), stand-up comedy & documentaries. could spend a whole day watching documentaries and would say he had fun, has a lot of useless knowledge that nobody gives a fuck about and is kinda dumb when it comes to things that matter

when it comes to music, he prefers playing really fast and heavy rock or punk over anything else, but he actually listens to a lot more soft indie on his own time... he’s too tense these days to be listening to anything else RIPPP

the vibe: homemade tie-dye, ripped slipknot t-shirts, frosted tips, neon crocs with alien & peace-sign charms, chipped black nail polish, calloused hands, cheesy pick-up lines used NOT to land a date but to pull a smile, driving until he’s lost, stupid socks paired with pressed suits, dramatic poetry in an iphone note, etc. 

PLOT IDEAS.

people he met through online support groups about coping with grief

uhhh an on & off relationship that’s been going for who-knows-how-long. the reason for this is up for discussion, but i imagine that he hasn’t given up yet because the constant highs and lows are a good source of inspo 🤪 artists must suffer for their art!

opposite side of the coin — someone he’s interested in, but he’s NOT disloyal so it’s a pattern of persistent courting when he’s single vs intense friend-zoning when he’s not and they’re getting tired of trying to figure out what he wants from them

someone else who likes nail art & can convince him that NOBODY cares if he goes to a salon

someone (probably female but doesn’t really matter tbh) who feels like his feminism is entirely performative… maybe they attack him directly for it or maybe they just REALLY don’t like him and they’re super vague about it idk. either way, please tell him that activism is much more than recommending one female artist a year and saying “clothes have no gender 🤪” so he can be praised for the bare minimum (his heart is in the right place but his skull is empty)

someone super introverted who comes out of their shell with geon! uhhh maybe they think that he’s the one doing them a favor, but in reality spending time with them has been doing wonders for his mental health

other people who like to skate. let’s congregate at the local skatepark and scare the middle schoolers away

someone who inspires him musically, for whatever reason. lots of late nights in studios, idly strumming his guitar and writing lyrics that definitely aren’t about how their eyes look in these dim lights… umm maybe he thinks he has a crush on them but really doesn’t and ends up hurting them eventually, maybe he really DOES have a crush but will (probably) never do anything abt it or maybe it’s entirely platonic and he just admires them a ridiculous amount

someone who likes to make music as a hobby, prob won’t publish/release any of it but it’s fun to imagine. spontaneous meetings with geon in the middle of the night, recording songs together and keeping the WORST takes for the laughs. there’s probably a diss-track of them going in on each other floating around somewhere even though geon can’t rap for shit

night owls who keep him company on the phone, even if they can’t be there physically. them talking really quietly vs geon shouting at them while he plays games LMAO

gaming buddies. come over, maybe you can carry geon through his game of the week or you can both fail but have fun while you’re at it… or you can scream while he fends off that hoard of zombies behind you

i’m typing this at the last minute (literally) so i’m gonna stop here, but i will get a proper plots page put up asap with a wider variety of connections!!! but as always, please do let me know if you have any other ideas. i’m always happy to plot and write with you all 🌚

[tarantulas4davey]

more hc’s!! even though i’m in school!!

al mining all the way to bedrock with race and being like ‘hey babe can you get this block for me i’m gonna build our house try to get at least five okay?’

and race, clueless, is like ‘sure babe!’ and after twenty minutes race is loSING HIS MIND and al is like uhhh babe i kinda need it?? and race is like, near tears, IM TRYING IM TRYINF I SWEAR I SWEAR

eventually al tells him and race unplugs al’s computer

race speaking italian bc he’s stressed and al doesn’t know what he’s saying but dear god that’s so hot

people make a million gifs abt al’s face and race is like ‘oh so italian is a turn on for you huh?’ but race, little bitch, says it in italian and watches al live up to his nickname of red

one time al is rly tired as he’s streaming and just falls asleep at his computer and race is facing his computer and eventually he realizes he’s been rambling and that al hasn’t said much? and he’s like ‘uhh babe you okay?’ and then looks over and you can see the exact moment his heart bursts bc al just dozed off and he’s so cute and the comments r going crazy

al is pretty shy abt it he’s like oh my god they saw me sleeping that’s so embarrassing hey race stop!! it wasn’t cute!!! and race is like uhhh yeah it was but he’s still sweet ofc and al (who’s slowly becoming more comfortable with himself) is like oh. okay. and the fans are like THATS SO ADORABLE

someone points out at one point that race and al have the exact same follower count and they’re like !!! that’s actually so cute!!!

race’s background is him and al and al’s is just race and they’re so cute and so in love

race n al both getting super into the game and they’re put on opposite teams and become like. lethal. like race is super smart ofc but he’s not saying anything so al has NO idea where to find him, but alternatively, someone keeps killing race’s teammates and no one can seem to beat them theyre so strong??

at one point al walks in and race is like hey hey hey! it’s radioactive red! and starts playing radioactive by imagine dragons and al, bright red, is like i’m going to kill you slowly and race, cheeky bastard, is like ha that’s kinda hot babe and winks and al’s just turning even more red

and ppl are like????? wait wait wait how is al the top did you see how flustered he got?

race n al literally laying on top of each other and full body cuddles but they both get so red when they hold hands and everyone’s like? you just literally sit in each other’s laps but ok

izzy these are fucking incredible i’m dying 😭

- al is such a little shit he totally would do that. race unplugs albert’s gaming monitor but the one with chat is still up and the cameras still going for the stream so everyone can see race whack al in the head with rolled up magazine from his desk and albert just throws race over his shoulder and spins around in circles while chat is loosing its fuckin mind

- whenever albert and race end up on different teams in a game race isn’t as good at and can’t just,,,,, math his way out (i.e. rocket league) he babbles in italian and it got to the point where al would get so distracted he would end up loosing the game cause he’s too busy internally going holyshitthatsreallyhotholyshitholyshit. albert went absolutely scarlet when he saw all the gifs of it and he’s sitting on the couch scrolling through twitter and race walks up behind him and leans down and whispers “why didn’t you mentioned you liked my italian” in italian and albert just ✨looses it✨

- SLEEPY 👏 ALBERT 👏 he doesn’t fall asleep on stream very often, but they do 12+ hour charity livestreams at least once a month so,,,, tired red is a common occurrence. he lives in a perpetual state of,,, ruffled? messy hair sticking up in every direction, a voice that always kinda sounds like he just woke up, constantly reaching for some form of affection from race that’s vaguely reminiscent of a toddler that just woke up from a nap between games, the like. he’s also a very deep sleeper, and it makes his already young face go from about,,,, 19? 20? to like 16 at best. he’s definitely getting better about seeing himself more accurately and all the fans think it’s so cute he doesn’t vehemently reject all of race’s compliments anymore.

- of course these two would be cute about having the same follower count. at one point someone follows albert but not race and race threatens to unfollow albert just to fix it, but about 10 seconds later the person follows him too and all balance is restored to the universe

- they’re 100% eachothers phone backgrounds. their lock screens is that cute thing where race has the half of the picture with albert in it and albert has the half of the picture with race in it and when you set their phones next to eachother in makes one picture. albert’s home screen is art jack made of them for his birthday. and race’s is a picture from the disney trip when al proposed.

- race is trying to pick albert’s teammates off from a distance, and he does fairly well for awhile, but as smart as he is race doesn’t have that much experience (especially compared to albert) so race’s teammates are dropping like flies literally ALL OVER the map and race is just like “?????? how the hell who is doing that” and albert is just silently chuckling to himself from his desk. eventually race is the only one left and albert finds him and just laughs maniacally while race dramatically falls out of his chair when he dies.

- y e s ok so albert blushes REALLY EASILY and race is,,,, race, so he’s honestly not that easy to embarrass and the general ‘red being flustered’ thing makes people confused how he’s the top. that is, until once race is laughing at how red albert is and albert just leans over and whispers something to race and race’s mouth snaps shut and his eyes get all wide and he just immediately changes the subject and albert has the smug look on his face and suddenly,,,, it all makes sense and that face race made gets so memed and albert laughs for 20 years over it

- honestly yeah it’s like

race: *kisses al’s neck and sits in his lap to try and distract him while albert keeps playing with a straight face*

also race: *can’t stop giggling for 5 minutes cause albert locked their pinky’s while showing him something and using the mouse*

~ or ~

albert: *carries race around the gaming room in victory or will randomly kiss him full on the mouth cause he just thinks he’s pretty*

also albert: *goes pink every time race calls him any sort of pet name, especially in italian*

this was written while also trying to keep track of the one year old and six year old i’m babysitting so i apologize for any random mistakes. no small children were harmed in the making of this post 😆

thank you for all of these i love them so much jdhdjdjd

[buckleysjareau]

is this what it feels like? (song fic; guts - all time low)

Shooting for the stars,

Desperately reaching for something in the dark,

Pictures of memories buried in my heart,

Lie awake and dream of the endless possibilities,

Catch my breath and go for it

TJ Kippen had it bad for Cyrus Goodman. The smile, the laugh, the excitement. Before they met, TJ had never knew what people were talking about when they talked about the butterflies in their stomach, the feeling of your whole body heating up and the happiness in the chest. Before Cyrus Goodman, he couldn’t understand what it was like to have a crush.

It wasn’t even a crush at that point. Cyrus made TJ feel all of those things and more.

When he met Cyrus, he had no clue what would happen. He was just trying to stay on the basketball team and the only way to do that was if Buffy helped.

He’d get the tutor if Cyrus got the muffin. Then the look on his face when he had the muffin made TJ feel something he’d only over heard from his friends. The twinge in his heart, the butterflies and it scared TJ.

Fast forward to a little over a year later and TJ has admitted to himself; he was so far gone for Cyrus Goodman.

Who wouldn’t be, though?

He closed his eyes, trying to find someway to get to sleep. The only thing filling his mind was Cyrus. What he could have with Cyrus if he wasn’t scared. If his feelings were reciprocated.

If things like that were accepted in a setting such as middle school and high school. He’d get to hold Cyrus’ hand in the hallways and on the streets. He could kiss Cyrus whenever he wanted. He could call him his boyfriend.

It wasn’t that simple, though, was it?

Take apart,

Everything that’s holding me down,

Make a point to pick a new direction, to make a new connection

TJ sat at a picnic table, picking at the ice cream Kira made him buy for the two of them. Kira was gone at that point. Thank God, TJ thought.

Cyrus said he hadn’t been avoiding him but at that point, TJ knew he was. It hurt. It physically hurt and he didn’t know if he could take it anymore.

“Hey, TJ.” He looks up and his heart rate sky rockets at the sight of Buffy Driscoll. He was scared, but he was also hopeful Cyrus was with Buffy and he’d just got side tracked.

“Buffy.” He responds with the best smile he could conjure up. “Is Cyrus with you?”

Buffy raises an eyebrow. “No.”

The disappointment TJ feels is so deep he’s positive it’s showing on his face, and but the look on Buffy’s face, it definitely was.

“Is Cyrus avoiding me?”

TJ has no control over his mouth right then and he’s sure Buffy can see right through him. She definitely can.

Buffy looks as if she’s contemplating something. “Are you and Kira together?” She asks instead.

TJ groaned. “We’re not together.”

“Okay.” Buffy pauses. “Can I ask you something?”

He swallows the lump in his throat before nodding.

“Why are you hanging out with her? She’s not a nice person.” She sighs. “We didn’t get off on the wrong foot at all when we met but I do care about you. I just don’t want you caught up in her storm.”

“I’m aware.” He mumbles. “I wanna stop hanging out with her, but..”

Buffy’s eyes widen when he admits he doesn’t want to be hanging out with Kira and it’s piecing together in her mind.

“But what?”

“She knows something about me and I feel like she’ll tell people if I do?” He shrugs and looks away.

“Is she manipulating you?” Buffy asks with a tone TJ never thought would be used on him. Defensive. Over TJ.

She really did care about him.

“No. I don’t think so.” He thought about it for second before speaking again. “I guess. I didn’t wanna go on the swings the other day but she always seems to know the right thing to get me to do something.”

Buffy’s face softens. “What’s going on? You can trust me.”

And suddenly TJ feels like he’s going to explode if he doesn’t tell someone how much he liked Cyrus Goodman. He’s going to explode if he doesn’t tell someone and all of the courage he wished he’d had before Costume Day bubbles in his chest as he speaks.

“Buffy, I’m gay. I like Cyrus.” TJ’s eyes screw shut, anticipating the worst case scenario, even though he knows he could trust Buffy.

He feels a hand grab his and he opens his eyes to see Buffy with a soft smile on her face. “That’s okay, TJ. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Please don’t tell anyone.” He begs.

“I would never do that. It’s your choice who you come out to and when.” Buffy pauses. “But, a word of advice, you really need to stop hanging out with Kira. She’s holding you down.”

Yeah, yeah, she was, TJ thinks as he smiles gratefully at his friend.

He couldn’t believe he just called Buffy Driscoll his friend. A lot can change in a year.

Is this what it feels like,

Finding out that I’ve got the guts to say anything,

Feels like breaking out,

When I can give up my reputation

Finally, I can see,

Honestly I’ve got the guts to say anything

Coming out to Buffy had struck something in him. He’d finally said the words and it was the scariest thing he’d ever done but it was okay. Things were okay. He wasn’t struck by lightning, he didn’t spontaneously combust, he was okay. He felt a weight lifted off of his shoulders and he could breathe a little better than he had been before.

What Buffy said, about Kira holding TJ down struck something in him as well.

He’d finally been able to say that word and tell Cyrus’ best friend about his crush on him and that courage hadn’t gone away. He knows the second Kira’s around, though, that courage would be gone and he’d be trapped again.

Kira was holding him down. She was holding him down, holding him back from being okay with himself and who he was, and that needed to change.

Bold enough to fall flat on my face,

When I walk as they crawl,

Slowing down is such a waste of time,

Time to let go,

Tapping my fingers to the rhythm of a metronome,

Counting opportunities

That change was happening today. He asked Kira to meet him at the courts and for the first time since Costume Day, he was actually excited to see Kira.

“Hey!” Kira gave a flirty grin and TJ felt absolutely nothing.

“Hey. We need to talk.” He cut to the chase, because if he hadn’t, he wasn’t sure how long this courage could last.

Kira’s smile dropped. “What’s wrong?”

“We can’t hang out anymore.” Is all TJ can think to say.

“Is this about Cyrus?” She automatically assumes and TJ wants to know just how obvious he really was it came to Cyrus.

TJ shakes his head and sighs in frustration. “No, Kira, it’s not about Cyrus. It’s about me. You’re holding me down. I know you know something about me but you can’t use it against me anymore. Things are different now than they were literally an hour ago because someone told me it was okay.”

Kira tried to smirk. “Told you what was okay? Your little crush on Cyrus?”

TJ freezes when he realizes how loud she’d said that but quickly snapped out of it. “Yes.”

“Whatever, Kippen, have fun with that.” She storms away and he couldn’t believe he’d admitted his crush twice in the span of an hour.

He would have been wasting time if he waited, wasting courage.

It was time to let go of the fear.

Take apart,

The gravity that’s holding me down,

Make a point,

To find a resolution, to be my own solution

He was able to let go of Kira, sure, but wasn’t able to let go of the fear, just yet. Now that Kira was out of his life things with Cyrus had finally been back to normal.

He wanted to tell Cyrus, more than anything, but that courage was nowhere to be found when he was around him. He was nervous, he messed up on his words, he was the definition of a disaster gay, as his sister told him.

He just couldn’t help it, though. Cyrus made him nervous, giddy, flustered; and he didn’t even know it.

He’s at the swings with Cyrus and he’s swinging high and he’s watching Cyrus try to swing higher than him and he wishes he could feel completely free. He wanted to feel as if he was actually flying in that moment and he feared he never could if he didn’t tell Cyrus.

The only thing that would make him feel free was to come out to the one person who never once judged him for anything. It was the only thing to solve the gravity that’s keeping down.

Is this what if feels like,

Finding out that I’ve got the guts to say anything,

Feels like breaking out,

When I can give up my reputation,

Finally, I can see,

Honestly, I’ve got the guts to say anything

The Mack-Quinn family was throwing a party and Cyrus, and surprisingly enough, Buffy begged him to come.

Which is where he found himself, sitting on a bench near the fire pit to keep warm. There were a lot of people in there and Kira had showed up.

She’d apologized and even though TJ forgave her, seeing her there overwhelmed him to the point he couldn’t be around anyone. His mind was going too fast and that overwhelming need to tell Cyrus was back.

“Is this seat taken?” TJ looks up to see Cyrus and he’s distracted by the way the light of the fire touches Cyrus’ face, making him glow.

Cyrus Goodman was an angel.

TJ shook himself out of his gaze and patted the seat next to him.

“Why are you out here all alone?”

TJ shrugs because any words he could say have left his mind. No matter how much he wanted to tell him and felt like he could, the minute he sees Cyrus, it’s out of the window because God, he was in love with Cyrus Goodman and if things changed again because of who he is and his feelings, he wouldn’t know what to do.

He stares at Cyrus. Cyrus was truly a work of art, to put it. A masterpiece. He was good times, happy times, he was everything good in the world made into human form.

Suddenly tears are blocking his vision. He can’t tell if it’s the fear making him cry, or if it’s just how much he truly felt for the boy in front of him.

“TJ? You’re scaring me.”

“Sorry, sorry, Underdog.” He sniffles as he wipes a tear away. “What did you say?”

“I asked why you were out here all alone. It’s freezing.” He states.

TJ hadn’t noticed how freezing it was because his whole body felt warm when he was there.

“Kira apologized to me.” He pauses. “I just needed some time by myself.”

“Oh. I can go.” Cyrus starts to get up but TJ grabs his wrist.

“No, please.” TJ’s voice cracks and Cyrus’ face softens again. “I kind of have something I need to tell you.”

“Okay.. what’s up?”

“Listen, this is really hard to say, but I need to say it to finally feel free.” He gulps. “I, I’m, I like... I’m gay.”

It’s silent. Frustratingly silent and TJ realizes he might have messed up. But Cyrus looked like had to say something as well and TJ hopes he’s just trying to find the right words to be supportive.

“Is there anything you wanna tell me?” TJ prompts after a minute of silence, touching his hand.

Cyrus looks down at their hands and looks up with a soft smile and the butterflies multiply by thousands at that look he was giving him. He could hear his heart beat in his ears and he felt like he was dying, but the funny thing was, despite that, he felt totally free.

He’d told the one person he needed to tell.

“I’m gay too?” Cyrus speaks up in the tone of a question. “You have really nice eyes? I like you, like like you.”

The last statement was said as if he was sure. Sure that he liked him.

The happiness TJ feels can only come out in tears.

“I’m sorry, please don’t let this change us!” Cyrus rushes out when he sees the tears in his eyes but TJ just shakes his head.

TJ’s urge to hold Cyrus’ hand comes overbearing as he reaches down to Cyrus’ hand and grabs it. If he thought the butterflies were a lot before, they were definitely way worse.

TJ cries. “I like, like you so much, Cyrus.”

“You-you do?”

“So much it hurts.” He pauses. “You make me feel things I didn’t think I was capable of feeling. Not to sound cheesy but you’re everything to me, Underdog. I’ve been a little more than lost without you.”

Cyrus doesn’t respond with words. Instead, he gives TJ that small smile that’s full of adoration and he doesn’t know how to breathe. The thing that brings him back down to earth is Cyrus squeezing his hand.

“Can we just stay like this for a little?” TJ sighs with content.

“Of course.”

TJ felt free. He was free.

—————————————————

this is bad and I didn’t know how to separate it with the keep reading thing on the mobile app, but I wanted to post it here anyway. Ao3 link in reblog.

@you-get-to-exhale-now-cyrus it’s bad but here :-)

[mvssmallow]

Memento Vivere

Part V

Masterlist

He drifts back into wakefulness.

He’s warm. Comfortable. Alone.

When he stretches his legs, the sheets graze his shins.

Oh.

Not 2000 count slate gray Egyptian cotton.

Just regular ugly buttercup yellow sheets.

I’m still here.

Fuck. I’m still here.

Am I stuck here?

His migraine might be gone but the panic hasn’t. It’s not as earth shattering as it was when he first woke up here this morning but he still feels ill with the knowledge that there are so many things he has to do;  his album is about to be released, there are promos that need to be finalised, live performances to rehearse for...

He needs to get back his real life.

Before he breaks out into another cold sweat, he’s distracted by a tiny over-enthusiastic voice that floats up the stairs.

“I wanna show daddy to make him better!”

“Min, NO!”

The bedroom door clicks opens and for a moment he doesn’t see anything because she’s so short but soon enough, there she is: standing next to the bed with a piece of paper in her hands and a hopeful grin on her face.

Whoever her real dad is in this world, he’s one lucky bastard.

He pretends to wake up slowly, cracking one eye open dramatically because he knows that kind of thing seems to make her laugh.

“Hey Minnie Mouse.”

“I’m not a mouse!” She exclaims, way too indignant for a 5 year old to be.

Hanbin suddenly comes into view and tries to stop her from climbing up onto the bed. “Min! No. I told you not to wake him up, he’s having a rest.”

“But daddy’s awake now!”

He sits up because at this rate, someone’s gonna wake Jae up for sure.

“It’s okay Bin, I’m fine. I feel better now so....”

Minji wriggles out of Hanbin’s hands and starts trying to climb up on the bed. Hanbin sighs, catches her half way and makes her sit on the edge so he can take off her house slippers.

“Sorry, I tried to keep her out.” Hanbin says to him tiredly. “But you know how she is when she’s made something. As stubborn as they come.”

“What’s stub-bin?” Minji asks, looking back and forth between them.

Hanbin breaks into one of those slow smiles that he always loved, the ones that start small then deepen with the dimples until eventually, it takes over his entire face.

“It means you know what you want and nobody can change your mind.” Hanbin answers as he gently tidies her hair and re-pins the strawberry clip.

“I’m stub-bin!” Minji announces proudly, missing tooth and all.

Okay, he has to laugh at that one because this kid is just the most ridiculous thing on the planet.

A phone rings somewhere in the house and Hanbin runs off to answer it before it wakes up the baby. Seeing her chance, Minji settles into his lap and holds the piece of paper in front of his face again.

“What’s this?” He asks, taking the colourful drawing in his hands. “Is this for me?”

Minji nods and starts pointing to various scrawls on the page, which all apparently represent people in her family. There’s Rocket, Rocket’s house (because that’s essential information), Jae in a spotty onesie, a stick figure wearing a bright yellow triangle for a dress...

“Is that you, Min?”

“Yes! Yellow is the best!”

Well, that probably explains the bed sheets. He wouldn’t be surprised if Hanbin let her choose them.

There are two other figures on the page and he waits for her explanation. It’s not high art but he gets this feeling that it’s one of those things he won’t want to forget.

“That’s dad!” She points to the stick figure drawn in red and green. It’s holding hands with one drawn in blue.

“And that’s you, daddy! Because you like blue so I drew you in blue.”

He’s awestruck and speechless for a moment.

I am her family. She drew me so I must be real in her World.

Of all the gifts he’s ever received, and some are downright extravagant, this one somehow means more to him that any of them because this tiny human sat down and drew a picture to make him feel better. A surge of joy fills his heart and he can’t help but smile proudly at her.

Fuck it, this is high art.

“This is the best drawing I have ever seen. We should frame it and put it on the wall.”

“Yeah!” She beams back at him, missing tooth in full view once again.

He’s in the middle of wondering if Hanbin has any frames around when the black thoughts hit him again. He won’t get to keep the drawing. The Jiwon that belongs in this World will want to come back and that means there won’t be any room for him. One day he’ll wake up and this will all be gone.

No drawing. No Rocket. No Minji. No Hanbin.

No Jae.

“Are you sad Daddy?”

He knows his face must look terrible because Minji frowns and crawls further into his lap and snuggles against his chest. It’s weird but at the same time, it’s not weird. There’s something in the back of his mind that understands this so he just hugs her tightly.

“No, I’m not sad. I wish I could draw as good as you though.”

“I can show you?”

“Yeah, you show me.”

One day.

They’re still sitting there when Hanbin comes back with the phone in his hand and doesn’t even look surprised when he sees him hugging Minji. Maybe it happens all the time. That sounds kinda nice. There’s nothing like that in his real life.

“Hey, you’re feeling better now right?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I have bad news and some more bad news.” Hanbin says, rubbing his eyes. “The regular bad news is that one of us has to do the grocery shopping alone and the other bad news is that June’s going through some kind of crisis so he’s coming over. I don’t know what it is with you guys today, did you all decide to have your mental breakdown at the same time or something?”

June? June’s here too? It’s good to know they’re still friends in this timeline.

“I bet it’s that new singer he’s dating. It’s all drama. Thank God that’s not our life anymore.”

Something about that hits a nerve with him and stings.

Not our life anymore?

He doesn’t know what the Jiwon in this World does but he gets a sinking feeling he’s not a rapper. Rapping is his Identity. It’s who he is. It’s what he likes to do. It’s what he’s good at. He can’t imagine a life where he does anything else.

“Jiwon!?” Hanbin asks again, tone a touch more frustrated. It makes Minji giggle for some reason.

“Huh?”

“Groceries or June? Pick one.”

They’ll both end badly, he can already see it. He doesn’t know where anything is . He doesn’t even know where they live. And June, of course he remembers June but he has no idea how many years have passed and how many things have changed.

“Groceries.” He says finally.

The lesser of the two evils. Less chance of revealing how much of a fake he is. Maybe.

Hanbin raises an eyebrow like he was expecting another answer. “Well....okay. The list is pinned on the fridge. Don’t forget the chew bars for Rocket, he’s all mopey because we ran out.”

He nods, suddenly nervous as though he’s never done grocery shopping before.

Hanbin waves at Minji to come with him. “You want to help me draw a picture for Uncle June? He’s coming over later.”

“Uncle June! Will he bring stickers!?” She asks, climbing off him and running towards Hanbin.

“I don’t know. But he’ll want a picture won’t he?” Hanbin says. “Go get some new paper, I’ll be down in a minute.”

He places Minji’s drawing on the bedside table and stands up to look around the room again. Where does Hanbin keep all the clothes? Maybe he’ll just have to open every single drawer here.

“Hey?” Hanbin says from the doorway.

“Yeah?”

“I have some good news as well.”

“Yeah?”

Hanbin chews his bottom lip for a brief second and he knows what that means. Or he hopes he knows what that still means.

“My parents are volunteering to babysit for a few hours so if you want to do anything tonight....”

Yeah. It still means the exact same thing.

[stillinaincrad]

Found this online and thought it’d be fun. Won’t tag others, but would love to see reposts with your answers!

1. Who is your favorite male anime character? it’s always a toss-up but for today will say Spike Spiegel

2. Who is your favorite female character? Lucy, Elfen Lied

3. What is your favorite anime soundtrack? Soul Eater

4. What is your favorite anime opening + animation? I’ve always thought the OP to Star Driver was really great - the art and graphic design is totally unique and the lyrics to the song (Gravity 0 - Aqua Timez) fit the show SO WELL, but the opening was made to fit the song, too. I still think it’s fantastic. 

5. What is your favorite anime ending song + animation? Soul Eater again, what everybody calls the “3rd ending” (Bakusou Yumeuta - Diggy Mo). Soul Eater’s soundtrack has everything from quirky indie to old school punk, but this hip-hopish track just fit the attitudes of the characters and their fighting styles perfectly. (Seki-kun is a very, very close second!)

6. What is your favorite anime scene? Yeah, right. Like I could answer that one.

7. If you could meet an anime character who would it be? I wish I could answer this seriously, but every time I think about a 2D character coming into this world, all I can picture is Kreiger’s Mitsuko Miyazumi and it makes me laugh uncontrollably.

8. What anime character is most similar to you in terms of personality? I usually say Ichika Orimura, just because he’s full of good intention but really dense when it comes to women and misses signals all the time. I should probably come up with a new line of thought, though, because that’s not exactly a flattering response lol

9. What is your favorite thing about anime? The imagination, the creativity, the fact that it’s drawn and anything at all is possible without a ginormous budget, so you get all these original stories colored well outside the lines of convention and safety standards that the entertainment industry is bound by.

10. What is your least favorite thing about anime? It took me a while to get used to the fanservice that is prevalent in even the most tame of anime, and there are times when an excess of it contributes to the story, but I have a hard time with it when an anime is overly-ecchi “just because”. It tends to really creep me out.

11. Who are your favorite anime couple? Kazuma and Ayano. They crack me up so much because they are cuckoo for cocoa puffs about each other but are too stubborn to ever admit it.

12. Who is your favorite anime animal? Will have to think about this one and come back to it.

13. What anime would make a good game? Another one have talked about at length, I would kill to see a full-fledged PvP MMORPG of the Fate/Stay series, where you choose which master you want to play as, develop skills and spells, eventually call your servant. The two of you quest together until endgame level, at which point you enter the Holy Grail war against other endgamers. I’d be all over that one.

14. What game would make a good anime? It was a God of War knockoff and they already made a bad movie about it, but always thought Heavenly Sword could be an anime. They’d have to add quite a bit of content to get 12-13 episodes, though.

15. What was the first anime you ever watched? Robotech

16. Do you think you’ll ever stop watching anime? No, but no way I’ll watch nearly as much - I do at some point plan on becoming a real adult again, and don’t expect to have the time I do now.

17. What is your favorite genre of anime? It used to be mecha anime, and I’m still really into it, but the fantasy/adventure series that are set in medieval-esque worlds have gotten the most of my love the last 2-3 years.   .

18. What is your least favorite genre of anime? Horror

19. Are you open about watching anime with people you know? I was when I was younger, but now I think there’s a stigmata that is attached to it because of my age. Like “oh, you’re one of those guys”. Somehow being past like teens/early 20s and still into anime means you’re a creeper who is weird af and probably does bizarre things behind closed doors. I have to get to know someone before more than just a casual conversation about it.

20. Have you ever been to Japan? Yup, lived there for a little while in the Navy

21. What anime was the biggest let down for you? Death Parade. It had all the makings of one of those devastatingly memorable endings that would have rocketed it into history, but instead Chiyuki smiles, Decim says nothing, everybody gets off scot-free, and the show ends. WHAT THE F***.

22. What anime was better then expected? Charlotte. Every time my answer will be Charlotte. That one blew me away the first time.

23. What is the best anime fight scene? This one always comes up, and I never have an answer. There have been a few that made me want to cheer, though lol

24. Who is your anime waifu? Takao, Ars Nova/Arpeggio of Blue Steel, but the idea of a waifu or envisioning yourself in a relationship with an anime character - male or female - is something I’ve never really gotten.

25. What was your favorite video game as a child? Perfect Dark. It sooo needs a reboot

Questions about me

26. Most Embarrassing moment? When I was 13, I passed out during the prayer at a large outdoor service at a country church we were visiting, but fell straight down into my chair so only a few people knew about it. Someone called EMS, but the squad was unavailable, so this 38ft hook and ladder with lights and sirens going pulls in and everybody was like wtf

27a. Can you drive? I’ve driven on three continents

27b. Do you own a car? It barely qualifies as a car, but it is paid for so until I make more than $11/hr it’ll have to do

28. Are you mature? Depends

29. Are you mature? I’m going to be mature here and not make a big deal about asking the same question twice. In a row.

30. Do you prefer cats or dogs? I miss my dog all the time, but have nothing against cats unless they are total assholes.

31. Describe yourself physically? 6′2, dirty blonde/brown hair, not fat but not exactly Ryan Gosling either

32. What would you name your first child? I don’t know, depends on the wife, I guess. Nothing too out there, though - I don’t want a boxer or a stripper for a kid because they got scarred from everyone making fun of their name.

33. What is the worst injury you have ever had? Ruptured L4/L5 in my spine that popped out and pinched my sciatic nerve, then while I was rehabbing that slipped on ice and broke my elbow. NOTHING worked for a while.

34. What is your worse habit? I wall myself off when I need others most. I’m actually really good at it.

35. Do you drink or smoke? I used to, and still do sometimes, but not nearly as often as I used to. It’s just too expensive to go out all the time, and I hate being out of breath from one flight of stairs.

36. Do you have a tattoo? I have 3, want more

37. Are you a morning person or a night person? I wake early every morning for work, so even on my days off I’m awake at like 6:30 now. Being an adult can really suck sometimes lol

38. Have you ever slept past midday? Not for a long time, but sure

39. Do you regret anything? Have you ever met anyone who doesn’t?

40. Can you count the number of friends you have on one hand? Yes. I know lots of people and am friendly with them, but not what I’d call a friend.

41. Do you wear glasses? No

42. Are you a picky eater? I loathe onions and the texture of stewed tomatoes will make me hurl, but just about everything else works.

43. Would you die for someone? Depends on the person and situation

44. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? Telekinesis, maybe? Not sure.

45. Do you believe in the supernatural? Not really. There’s plenty out there that we don’t understand or know about, though. It wouldn’t surprise me, but I don’t really believe in it.

46. Would you rather be rich or famous? Rich, I couldn’t handle people going through my garbage to see what brand of ice cream I prefer

47. Have you ever committed a crime? Is it a crime if you didn’t get caught? lol

48. Pirates or ninjas? Ninjas, it requires precision, years of training, and incredible athleticism. Pirating requires you drink a lot and rob people.

49. Does someone have a crush on you? Would be nice to find out that I did, but would kind of suck for them

50. Are you in a relationship? I’m not really in relationship mode right now