#the second he said the word 'youtube' the judge is gonna curse them out for wasting his time

[bklynmusicnerd]

No because everyone keeps asking Spencer how he plans to actually take care of that demon spawn and his answer is always some stammering and then some variation of "well I won't be like my father!"

His analysis of Nikolas is pretty on point but his argument for why he should have that kid is flimsy and gets progressively worse. Diane would be crying in the courtroom if she tried to convince a judge he should be handed an infant.

[cloudninetonine]

Cogito, ergo sum

Chapter: 2

Pairing: Connor (RK800) x fem!reader

A/N: Hey guys! I want to apologise for the long wait between chpaters but seeing as I’m on my last year of college my school work is coming before everything else so it’s a little hard working between them! Don’t worry, I’m not dropping this series or anything just expect chapters to take a little long to be loaded and everything! Also, this chapter seems a little too far paced for me, so sorry about that as well!

Tags at the bottom once again!

I do not own Detroit become human this is merely fanficion

Warnings: Bad language, physical assault, threats (?), hints of abuse, (Name) being weird like always, also angry (Name), mentions of drugs, there’s a bit of slander against drug abusers that I do not condone!

Undercut babes!

It’s fascinating, it really is, the way her beautiful gaze follows you as you round her, studying her feverishly, your eyes wide and bright.

She’s...well, words cannot describe her. Her beauty lies beyond your imagination and you’re not quite equipped to say anything that her magnificent ears deserve to hear, your words are below her and she’s just-

Wow.

“Ms (Last), please-”

You raise your hand towards the younger engineer, silencing with a small utter of ‘hush’ and he’s shutting his mouth, falling back to the side of your desk with not much else to say.

The android you’ve been un-shamelessly ogling for the past 10 solid minutes is still very quiet, she’s just watching you in her manufactured attire, shy, nervous, scared- everything you really wish she wasn’t right now because there is no way you want her to see you as some sort of threat, far from it.

“Henry” Turning back towards the engineer, he stiffs up like a board, sweat forming on his brow “Why didn’t you dismantle her?”

It’s rude, it’s horrible to say and it sours your mouth when you form those words, but it’s an honest question, you want to know why someone would do this, keep her alive, see her for all her glory.

The public spoke strongly about their opinions of androids, like toys to be played with, slaves to be worked, not the thing you so desperately wanted people to see them as. The masterpieces that stood beyond human comprehension.

The android lets out a noise similar to a whimper as Henry stammers out.

“I-I couldn’t she- um- I-” Finally, he sighs with frustration, Henry makes eye contact with you “She said was scared and...I couldn’t”

You snap back to face her.

“Is that true?”

She hesitates, one second, two seconds, three seconds, four- it takes a whole 30 seconds before she’s finally responding. “Yes…”

Your chest bursts in excitement.

“You’re incredible” Henry deflates in relief, placing a hand against your desk while you grasp her cheeks, her warm grey eyes glancing between your two hands then meet your own stare, confused. “Amazing, beautiful, fantastic, so, so much more”

“...thank you”

You sniff, then you’re pulling away, trying to keep your tears abay. You really can’t believe that your work has gone so far, that new forms of sentient are evolving from a human’s hand, you’re so overjoyed by it all but you’re also kind of realising how weird you’re being.

“Sorry, I’m becoming the creepy stereotypical scientist, let me just-” Pulling off your lab coat, you throw it over her shoulders, pulling it tighter around her for her dainty hands to grasp and hold, a smile growing on her face in gratitude. You’re really still in awe of it all but send her a giddy smile back “Henry get Kamski I’m sure he’s gonna love this”

When the man disappears, closing the office door behind him, you guide her to a chair, kneeling before her kindly.

“Tell me” She waits patiently for you to continue “What’s your name?”

When she opens her mouth, you interrupt her, grasping her hands “No, not the name you were given, the name you have chosen. What is your name?”

You’re at the beginning of history right here, you can already see the books that are yet to be written, all starting at this very moment, with you and her. This android, this amazing, piece of living metal, is the start of something great and you can’t wait to be a part of it.

“My name is….”

-----------

“(Name), I’m sorry, but there isn’t really anything I can do”

Your hands come down on the desk, expression unbelieving.

“But he attacked Ortiz in self defence, it’s not fair for him to be shipped to Cyberlife! That hellhole already has enough test subjects with other deviants, why can’t he be let go!?” Pushing yourself back up, you drag your hands down your face in exasperation “He’s a victim! He was defending himself, why can’t we let him off with a lesser offence?”

Billie sighs, shutting the file softly. “Because in the eyes of the law, he’s not a victim. He’s property and there isn’t much we can do about that. Besides, because Ortiz is dead, his ownership basically goes back to Cyberlife, so they have the authority to take him back”

Billie’s right, you know that they’re right, but it’s just so frustrating, so vexing that this is the case. An android, in the eyes of society, is nothing more than their components, why should they be given the same privilege as those who eat, shit and breathe?

Billie may be a judge, but they didn’t make the law.

You remember years ago, when something like this would have been seen as detestable, that the masses would have stood up to fight this kind of horror, but for some reason, with age came stupidity and ignorance it seemed. What the fuck had happened to you all?

You open your mouth, then close it, then open it again before huffing, taking the file from their desk and ripping your coat off the hanger.

“I’m sorry, (Name)!” Billie calls and you wave them off, shouting back a ‘Don’t worry about it’ then close their office.

The courthouse is only a few blocks away from the precinct, a good walk away, a good way to calm yourself down until you’re having to face the frustration that comes in with having to work in such a high strung place. It’s funny really, you used to say ACAB when you were younger, still believed it too, so it’s really a wonder as to why you joined, but then again sometimes to make change you have to become the very thing you hate-

“Detective (Last)-” 

You scream, almost dropping your files and jumping a meter within the air. Passerbys don’t even spare you a glance, a generation raised on the weirdest websites like Vine, Tiktok, Youtube and god forbid, Tumblr, have them desensitised to whatever shit people like to play at now-a-days.

“Oh my God, Inspector Gadget” A hand falls to your chest, checking your racing heartbeat “You can’t just sneak up on a bitch like that”

Connor, the big old puppy, tilts his head in mild confusion “But I called your name twice, detective”

Oh.

“What are you doing here, Connor?”

The android joins your side and you continue your way. “Lieutenant Anderson informed me that you were heading to the courthouse, so I decided to come and brief you about a new case”

A new case, of course a new case, deviancy keeps popping up all over the country rapidly but you can’t hold your surprise about the fact that it’s been a  few days and there’s already a new case.

“Deadass?”

Wait, you hadn’t mean to say that-

His eyes narrow “Deadass?”

A snort escapes you “Oh my God I can’t believe you just said that, it sounds so cursed coming from your mouth. I meant, seriously?”

You swear on your life, on everything that may be above and so much more, that the android lets out a laugh when he continues, explaining the details as you finally enter the office.

You realise, as he talks, you feel a whole lot lighter than you had earlier.

-----------

“This guy is as scummy as it gets” 

Unfortunately, you can’t help but agree. Todd Williams is about as charismatic as a dumpster fire, messy hair, messy face, stained clothing and the stench of alcohol clung when you finally met him, having to hold back a wince of disgust.

You don’t usually speak ill of others, but you know his type, from the way he carries himself to the way he speaks. You’ve had to face men like him before, his whole demeanor brings back bad memories and you’re so glad that you’re not the one having to get details from him, to have to speak to him.

One thing’s for sure though, you don’t blame whatever deviant decided to book it from him.

“Why doesn’t he just...get a refund from Cyberlife?” You take a sip of your milkshake, staring at Hank, Connor and Mr Williams who looked to be ending off their conversation. “They do that for deviants, don’t they?”

Yes, if you remember, the new flashy CEO of the hell corp spoke it for all to see, that deviance is guaranteed to offer you your cash back.

How inhumane it all sounded.

Gavin scoffs, drinking his coffee “You think a guy like that cares about refunds?”

No. You know why he’s doing it. It’s all about power for fuckers like that.

Mr Williams leaves, Hank is looking through his notes, Connor is heading your way, probably to refer all the information back to you and Gavin is taking in a breath to start his bullshit again, despite your civilness that you had been sharing.

Eh, peace was never an option-

“Your metal boyfriend is heading this way”

The noise you make isn’t human, it’s a mix of a wheeze and scream, like you’ve just choked on the air your breathing and in all honesty, you have, but you’re not letting that mother fucker get away with catching you off guard, especially when he starts laughing.

“Shut up, furry”

Your actually feel the air from his head snapping towards you. “I’m not a fucking furry, quit fucking saying it!”

You pat his shoulder “It’s alright, Reed, we all know you wrote yiff fiction in your spare time-”

You dodge his fist, running away from his red, angered face and petty insults, dragging Connor away from the break room to the side, all while laughing up a storm.

Having your attention on the android again brings back Gavin’s words, his tease of ‘boyfriend’ which makes your face heat up, in what? You’re not quite sure, but it’s enough to make Connor notice your oddity.

“What were you and Detective Reed-”

“Nothing” You cackle, patting down his shoulders to distract yourself “He’s just being an arsehole again, nothing to worry yourself over”

And worry himself he didn’t, because he couldn’t of course, android and all.

Connor was quick to fill you in, an AX400 by the name of Kara had stolen (the word kidnapped comes to mind but you know that the robot detective will just ‘correct’ you on your wording) another android, Mr William’s ‘daughter’, model YK500 named Alice after assaulting him the night before. Mr Williams had been knocked out after the ordeal, as to why it had taken him so long to report it. 

“Were there any signs of assault that you could see? Ones that could lead to a potential take down or unconsciousness?” Connor takes a moment before shaking his head “Yeah, I didn’t think so”

What a lying fuck.

“Let’s head to the briefing room”

Hank is there, as well as a whole group of other police officers, talking amongst themselves as you situate yourself behind the podium, screen remote in hand and smiling brightly. Your partners are at your side, Connor in his usual stoic stance while the old fart has his arms crossed, bored as always and you’re ready to debrief the many uniforms but they keep talking, even after you clear your throat.

You’re not one to get angry at being talked over, annoyed, yes, but anger leads you nowhere with a crowd, so instead, you use your most favourite tactic to date

“Pay attention to me or I am gonna start screaming people” You sing. Not a threat, but a promise. “And you all know I will screech like mother fucker”

The room is silent in the next second.

“Great! So-”

The door to the room bursts open.

“Fucking really-”

“Detective (Last)'' It's the front office assistant and by the looks of it, he is panicked, worried even, as he addresses you. You suddenly feel your stomach knot up  “I’m sorry, but there’s been an emergency with your relative Carl Manfred”

You swallow, hard. “What?”

The meeting ends right then and there.

-----------

Hank hurls to a stop right outside the entrance. You’re already halfway out of the car when he shuts off the vehicle, Connor is taking off his seatbelt and you’re already racing down the soaked concrete path to the front door, rain pelting down on you.

You barely feel it though.

You startle the receptionist when you slam your hands down, eyes wide in panic, breathing coming out in fast, short pants and just looking as though you faced the masses to make it to this spot, right in front of her.

“Carl Manfred, he was brought here about an hour ago is he-”

She interrupts “Are you family?”

“Yes, please, I-”

“In what relation do you have to the patient?”

Is she really fucking serious right now? You debated leaning over and strangling your answer out of her, letting her know what kind of fucking pain you could put her through in this very moment-

But the hand that is placed against your back keeps you still. It’s warm and comforting and keeps you from mauling the fucker right out of her chair, though it doesn’t calm your anxiety, no, but at least it’s there.

You turn to see Connor, who nods towards you politely.

Huh, what a twist of events.

Hank leans over from your other side, looking just as angry as you feel, though he keeps his voice civil when he speaks “Listen, her old man’s just had a heart attack, could you drop the formal shit so she can see him?”

Her voice is sharp, just like her stupid fucking face and she snaps back “I can’t let you in unless I know your relation, unless you’d like to be escorted out by security”

Damn, she’s playing with fire and you’re ready to throw oil all fucking over her.

“I don’t fucking think so-” Pulling out your badge, you slam it against the desk, with nothing short of a growl “Police. Now, tell me where my fucking dad is or you’ll regret the next words that come out of your mouth”

You never abuse your power as a cop, it’s inhumane and back in your younger days you sneered at the disgusting police who would use their authority for their own gain, so you hate to admit but the nervous look that crosses her face when she sees your badge and Hank’s when he pulls it out for extra effect scratches an itch you begged to be scratched.

“Floor 3, the front desk will inform you what room”

“Thanks” You spit, already rushing to the elevator, the other two following.

Connor is quiet, to your surprise. Honestly, you expected him to speak out about your behaviour, your attitude, your unprofessionalism, but he says nothing, just trails after the two of you in silence, obediently, just like he was made for. 

It’s comforting having him here, even if he’s just following orders.

The next receptionist is kinder than the last (she even scowls at the mention of her coworker) and points down the hallway, to where two officers stand with cups of coffee within their hands. They stiffen in surprise at your arrival, but you pay them no mind, pushing your way into the room where you finally pause, taking in the scene of your beloved father figure, laid still within the bed, pale, heart monitor beeping occasionally. 

The doctor by Carl’s side looks up at you. “I’m sorry, but who are you?”

Hank and Connor wait outside.

“(Name) (Last), Carl’s daughter and emergency contact” You explain, walking further into the room “Is he- Can I-”

“He’s fine” She explains with a comforting smile “And yes, you can come closer, though the medication has him knocked unconscious so he won’t be talking any time soon”

The relief almost has you collapsing, brings you back from the panic attack that threatens to kick your arse right in front of everyone and you finally breathe normally.

“Thank you, and you are?”

“Dr Collins” Collins offers her hand and you shake it weakly. “Your father is going to be okay, (Name), but he’s going to need a lot of rest. Cardiac arrest at this age can be fatal, so we were lucky that he lived so close”

You nod, tiredly slinking to Carl’s side to drop into the cushion chair, taking his hand in yours. Kissing it lovingly, you place it close to you in comfort, in reassurance.

‘He’s fine, he’s fine, he’s going to be okay-’

“What are you doing here?”

Your anger shoots right back up, as does you head when you turn to look at the doorway.

“Leo” The name is dragged out of your mouth, it’s spoken with a heavy coat of venom and dirt and for all the participants who are about to see this wild shit show, is a clear indication that you’re far from happy to see the man that stood there. “The fuck are you doing here?”

He scoffs “I’m family, what else am I here for?”

“Oh I don’t know,” You’re standing, stalking closer to him with a raged gleam in your eye “To mooch off him a little bit more?”

The tension can be cut with a knife, everyone can see it, feel it, even Connor, who looks ready to intervene at any given moment.

“No, detective” One of the officiers starts, cutting in in hopes to keep you both calm. “He was there when it all happened, he saw everything-”

“He was there?” No, her words only add fuel to the fire and you’re glaring at your brother once again “You were there? The fuck were you there for? You did this?”

“No!”

“Please calm down” Collins cuts in “I understand the anger but the other patients-”

You ignore her, glancing around the area when a thought struck you.

“Where’s Markus?”

Connor’s the first to respond, “Who’s Markus, detective (Last)?”

“Dad’s care bot” A pin drops, no one is speaking, the two cops are quiet, Leo is scowling, but he’s not looking at you and your anger is quickly making room to fear, cold and stabbing when you push again, harsher, angrier “Where the fuck is Markus?”

The second officer speaks this time, hat in his hands and you know what happens next is not going to be good.

“He was leaning over your father when we walked in detective, Mr Leo Manfred told us he attacked him” The man gulps, hesitating. He’s not nervous for what he’s done, no, he’s nervous about the dark look that seems to be slowly taking over your eyes, “I shot him”

A beat goes by. Then another, another, another, another, another-

“Why were you there in the first place?” It’s soft, curious, but the rage behind it is big, your need for an answer is keeping it back “What was the call for?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t-”

“Answer the question, officer”

His partner offers up the answer “....A break in, ma’am”

There’s silence, then you nod in understanding.

No one is quick enough to stop you from shoving Leo into the wall, hands wrapped tightly around the lapels of his jacket and holding him up so you can scream at him properly, face feeling hot from anger, eyes wild from rage, practically feral. 

“You fucking did this! This is your fault, you good for nothing fuck!” You pull your hand back and punch him right in the face, he’s too in shock to react but everyone else is trying to pull you off “What?! Were you off your shit from snorting that fucking powder again, you damn druggie!? Huh!? HUH!? You high right now, too!?”

“Jesus fucking Christ, (Name), let go!” Hank yells but he’s fucking impressed by your resistance.

“He could have died because of you, you good for nothing cunt! Worthless piece of shit! Now, Markus is fucking dead because of you, the person who was actually fucking taking care of him! This is all your fault! He’s in that hospital bed, because of you! You! Did! This! All for those stupid drugs! You’re fucking pathetic!”

You’re finally tugged off by someone, their arms slipping under your own to stop you from going back at him again. The officers are acting as a wall between you and your brother, Dr Collin’s is checking his nose as blood drips down his face, Leo is still in shock and Hank is leaning over, hands propped onto his knees. That leaves...

“I’m sorry detective (Last), but I’m going to have to restrain you until you calm down”

You scream in frustration and try to fight against it, but damn, you have to admit in a moment of clarity, Connor is fucking strong.

“Lieutenant Anderson, if you could take her legs, we can escort her out of the building without much trouble” Hank huffs something under his breath probably a grunt of ‘fucking android’ but complies, glaring at you when he leans down.

“You kick me and I’ll kick your ass”

Your respect for him makes you comply, but the anger doesn’t stop you from cussing both him and the android out, naming every threat under the sun as they carry you out of the building, back to the car which you are shoved placed into.

“Let me out of this fucking car, Hank!” You bellow, glaring at the man with sharp eyes who stood outside the vehicle, leaning against it “I’ll break this fucking window, I swear to fucking God!”

“You can try, but we both know you won’t!”

Once again, you’re screaming, tugging frantically at the door’s handle that you know is locked, but are way too angered to care right now.

Connor sits by your side, a good distance away to not antagonise you, silent, waiting and watching as you slowly fall from angry to desperate, tears welling within your eyes and falling down your cheeks. It only takes a few more moments for you to stop altogether, your shoulders shaking as you sob, quietly but strong.

The android finally speaks “Detective (Last)-”

You’re on him in a moment, arms wrapped around his frame, face buried into his shoulder, wetting his suit jacket as you cry, shaking.

It’s a new one for Connor. An android built for detective work, to sniff out the bad deviants, to question suspects and actually built with a comforting feature for victims of crimes. But this is a first, a first he’s seen anyone to tears, more importantly, a first of seeing you so broken. Sure, he had seen you defeated those few days ago, but this is different, you’re not trying to hide conflicting feelings behind your bubbly smile and weird jokes, you’re just...crying. Nothing more, nothing less.

His arms are hovering at your sides, hesitant, unsure and it’s not until Hank gestures from outside the car to ‘fucking do something, you stupid machine’ that the protocol finally kicks in, his arms coming to wrap around you securely and comforting, reassuring you through your whimpers.

Connor is a robot, a machine that feels nothing.

But seeing you cry isn’t something he can just let happen.

Software instability.

-----------

Tags: @dillxpixkles @1950schick @pinkittwice @iris-suoh @loveflowsthroughme @thatlonelyalto @starcatcher-kay​ (ya’ll I’m half asleep if I forgot you in the taglist I am SORRY-)

[logical-little-lies]

Challenges for The Cookies- Little Vlogs (Chapter Eight)

A/N: This is like, a fairly short chapter. I apologize for any typos or whatever, and the fact that I haven't updated this story in two weeks. I hope you guys like it though, it's my first time actually showing them recording a video for the channel, which is weird because Patton's channel is such a huge element/plot device in this book. Anyways, hope y'all enjoy!

Chapter Summary: Patton acquires his boyfriend and two crushes to participate in a video challenge for his channel. Many shenanigans and cute clips ensue.

--

"But-...Daddy said that I'd get to do it!" Patton pouted, looking at Virgil. Patton had started this video big, and was obviously regressed before they really got into the video plan. He knew that if needed, he could be big for a whole video. But the whole point of being open as a little online was that he didn't need to do that.

"And daddy is now saying to let Vee do it," Logan decided, taking the package from Patton and giving it to Virgil. Patton was pouting over opening a box, as if it really mattered that much. Virgil tried to take it from him because he was obviously in the mindset of a toddler, and he'd get frustrated if he couldn't open it quickly.

"Yay!" Patton cheered once the box was open, and Virgil handed it back to him.

"You never told us what we are supposed to be doing for this video," Roman spoke up, leaning so that he was looking at Patton from the other side of Logan.

"You didn't!" Virgil's eyes widened, "You just turned on the camera with no explanation. What the hell did we sign up for?"he narrowed his eyes, somewhat worried that the toddler-minded boy had pulled them into something crazy.

"No cursing around the little," Logan motioned to Patton, before looking at the boy, "But yes, what are we doing?"

"We're decorating pacis again, because you guys-" Patton pointed directly into the camera with a giggle, "said dat you guys liked it last time!"

"So is that what's in the box? Some plain pacis?" Logan didn't track whatever Patton ordered for videos, so he wouldn't know for sure. He trusted Patton not to spend money on stupid things.

"yes, yes, yes!" Patton bounced a bit in place, "But dis time, we are making them however the cookies want!" Patton absolutely loved referring to his fans as 'the cookies', he thought it was cute and creative, and they seemed to like it.

Patton started explaining the rules of the challenge, "okay, here's how dis is gonna work. Three of us are given very simple requests for decorative pacifiers, all from the cookies, and then the fourth will judge them when we are done! Oh, and it's on a scale from 1 to 10, and the highest scorer wins and gets to be the judge to the next round!" Patton spoke really fast, somehow not stumbling over his words whatsoever, and continuing to speak in his cute little voice.

They split up to grab the pacifier decorating supplies, setting up what they needed on the coffee table. "Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are! Up above the world so high..." Patton sung softly, setting the Generation One pacifiers in a neat row across the coffee table. Logan, who stood behind the tripod, used the camera and zoomed in on Patton, who looked up.

"Hello, Daddy! And hi to all da cookies too!" he scrunched his nose,giggling a bit. He set down the pacifier in his hand before softly waving at the camera.

"You gonna finish your little song, Pat?" Virgil questioned, setting tubes of super glue on the table, next to the small organizers of plastic gems and letter beads. There were three of them, and they were divided into little squares, each square holding different colors of plastic gems, letter beads, or charms to go on the centerpieces.

"Oh! Um...up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle, little star," Roman joined in and sang with him softly, Logan putting the camera on Virgil for a bit before zooming out to catch both of them.

"how I wonder what you are!"

Patton looked at the camera, thinking after a few moments. "Do nursery rhymes have copyright? I hope not..." he seemed confused, and more aware that there was a camera on him.

"I can confirm, nursery rhymes do have copyright, but most of them have passed into the public domain-" Logan started talking from behind the camera, getting interrupted by Roman, who was returning to the living room with smaller plastic gems.

"Shut up with your facts or whatever, we are gonna start the challenge!" Roman climbed onto the couch before lowering himself on the ground, between where Roman and Patton were sitting.

"Patton asked a question and I was just replying to it!" Logan defended, pointing the camera at Roman, who stuck his tongue out.

"Patton asked a question and blah blah blah. Can't you see we have a challenge that is much more important to begin?" he mocked Logan voice for a bit before quickly dividing up the smaller plastic gems between the three dividers. After a few seconds of silence, Roman looked up at the camera and laughed,

"Sorry Lo, I'm joking!" he apologized quickly, giving a soft pout as he waited for a response.

"You better be, little prince." Logan teased, Roman rolling his eyes and ignoring him.

Patton spoke up before any of them could say anything, "Okay! So the first paci request is...." he scrolled on his screen, his eyes glancing over a few words before he read them aloud, "From babykitten14 on twitter, 'how about a space theme?'"

The gears in Roman's head seemed to be turning, his eyes glancing between the different supplies in front of him quickly. "I can definitely work with a space theme." he assured, obviously excited to attempt to win this little challenge.

"Okay, let me set the timer!" Patton started tapping on his phone, Virgil's eyes widening.

"We're being timed?!" he seemed panicked, obviously thrown off.

"Yeah, I wasn't aware we had a time limit!" Roman dramatically exclaimed, both of the other boys obviously taking this more seriously now.

"Mhm! I thought that was obvious....have you never watched a youtube challenge, ever? If you don't set a time limit, the video will never end!" Patton set his phone in front of him on the table, speaking calmly as the other boys seemed a bit stressed now. It was a simple challenge, and they were probably exaggerating a bit for the camera, but they were being TIMED? This was absolutely outrageous.

...Okay, not really, but a bit shocking. "How long do we get, then?" Roman questioned, looking over at Patton. Logan stayed silent, just standing behind the camera and recording their interactions.

"Ten minutes!" Virgil and Roman's eyes widened, but before they got the chance to protest, or ask for more time, Patton started the timer and they immediately started grabbing different supplies. Throughout the video, they held four rounds of this challenge. Roman managed to win the first, with a simple dark purple pacifier with silver and white gems, the button being decorated with a black star charm. He spelled out, "Baby Star" on the handle.

Virgil ended up shyly asking if he could have the pacifier Roman made for the first round near the end of the video, and of course, Roman handed it right over. The next round had to do with a 'royal theme', and all three of the contestants made pacifiers related to princes. Roman declared Patton's baby pink pacifier, with dark red and gold gems, as the winner. On the button, was a little red crown sticker, and the handle read 'little prince'. Patton offered it to Roman, and he took it.

The third round simply was supposed to follow a "pastel theme". Patton probably would've won that one if he wasn't the judge. Logan won it though, and that pacifier went to Patton. The final round was supposed to follow a 'edgy baby' theme. As expected, Virgil won that round by a landslide.

Patton had them sit down to close out the video. "Okay, so each of us won one round. That's pretty good, I think!" Patton said, looking at Logan beside him on the couch, who nodded. "I want to clarify that all the pacifiers made today, besides the ones we claimed for ourselves, will be going to some of my agere friends, so they aren't going to waste at all!"

"Who is gonna claim the messy pacifiers that we had ten minutes to make?" Roman questioned from the other side of Patton. Virgil smacked his arm, rolling his eyes.

"I'm sure someone will," Virgil assured. "Most of them aren't that bad."

"Yeah, says the 'pince' paci." Roman rolled his eyes, teasing Virgil for his mistake earlier. Virgil somehow managed to forgot the 'r' during the Royal Pacifier round, and Roman had been teasing him endlessly about it throughout the video. Patton laughed before finally saying his outro and moving to turn off the camera.

All of the boys could genuinely say that they enjoyed filming videos for the channel, and the fans could say that they liked watching the content. It was a win-win situation, and Patton got to keep doing what  he loved with the man...

with the men he loved.

Yeah, all three of them definitely had a special place in his heart, they all cared for him endlessly. He liked that they genuinely cared about each other, too.  And the fact that they were willing to give up time to take part in his little hobby, and that they'd do almost anything to make him happy?

He liked that even more.

--

A/N: aka, patton has fallen in love with an idiot prince and his emo internet best friend. anyways, the next chapter might be more agere based, continuing to follow the path of logan getting to know the others while little (ft. lots of cute fillers and logan being a good cg). then I will loop back to the romance part and maybe write in a few more dates before I make them “officially” begin dating and what not. okay i’m done spoiling the plot of future chapters, but I hope y’all liked this one! Feel free to sends asks to my inbox with reactions to this chapter and stuff, I’d appreciate it!

Taglist: @stimmingsides @smollilsanderssides @novacloudcat @analogical-agere @fairyhuman2000 @aphandgflover@softastarlight @littlesapphygem @softflowerinmyheart @virgietheprincess @babeyalstar @b3an-spr0ut @babeyvoid @because-were-fam-ily @lonelysoul43-0 @lgbtqiaemo

[nightowlfandom]

Rogue! Werewolf! Min Yoongi- A Million Moons.

 I’ma say this, I tried to make a banner for this...it ain’t work out so well lol. So I’ma just do banners when it’s really big and important, just pretend there’s a Yoongi with yellow eyes and fangs

right here! In this area. This is gonna be my lil fancy banner placeholder. I’m mostl ikely never going to make one...

It has been...a week or maybe two, possibly three I don’t know. Girl, quarantine had me thinking it was June already, don’t judge me. Don’t ask me where I’ve been I have no clue myself.

ALSO BE SURE TO CHECK OUT MY MASTERLIST!

Update: GOT A NAME FOR THIS SHIT, HA!

Leggo!

Disclaimer- VIOLENCE... Also slight religious references but not heavy.

Also I took inspiration from Easton and Emmary Audio. They are on soundcloud and youtube and amazing af...like legit yas.

...

You could only scream as you were thrown down the stairs by the a few men. You tumbled down the steps yelping in pain as you hit the floor. You quickly scrambled to your feet, trying to stumble up the stairs. To your dismay, the door was locked from the outside, which meant you were trapped. Screwed for lack of a better term.

“LET ME OUT!” you yelled, banging on the door. “PLEASE!” you could feel your heart rate pick up quickly. Anxiety filled your body as you were welcomed by silence. “Please...” You attempted to yank at the door knob but it never budged. All you could remember was being grabbed by someone and dragged off. In a mix of emotions you could only guess what was going on. You were chosen as a sacrifice. To the beast...

Every month, a random person would go missing. You had only assumed it to be a myth made up by the older townspeople to get women to be safe at night, or not walk home alone, you were very wrong. The more people went missing, the more you became a believer.

It was a rule, never be seen, never be caught alone, never be caught at night, and especially not on a full moon like tonight. The Cursed Moon as your elders called it. There was a huge rumor about a beast that dwelled in a prison. It was captured by the town’s pastor. Pastor Bower believed that if he kept the monster prisoner and fed it, then that would atone for all the sins of the other beasts. No one said anything, mostly because they didn’t want to be next. You were never one for myths or the supernatural, but you were interested nonetheless. Only now, being the next sacrifice to tame whatever beast resided within these these walls left you wishing you were more ignorant.

A low growl erupted from the shadows where the light refused to hit. It seemed to be echoing from all around the tiny room. The windows were completely boarded up.

“I smell human.” a low gurgling voice made you slap a hand over your mouth. You desperately prayed from someone to get you out of this situation. Suddenly, you heard the rattling of chains. 

A man emerged from the heavily shadowed corner. You could see the chain dragging behind him with every step he took. They were long, probably long enough to allow his to walk across the room, but not long enough to make it to the stairs all the way. His shirt was tattered, just barely hanging off his shoulders. His hair was a mess, sticking out in random directions. His hair was jet black, which contrasted against his pale porcelain skin.  His raised his head to stare at you. All you could detect was a pair of neon red eyes.

“Hm...” he chuckled lowly. “Are you gonna make this easy for me or are you gonna be a fool and try and run.”

“You stay away from me.” you warned. “I’m warning you!” you voice cracked dramatically. You sounded far from intimidating.

“Hm, I see they bought me a talkative one...I can tell you’re gonna be difficult to handle. Word of advice: bravery is for the foolish. Nothing good has come from trying to be.”

You could hear rustling outside the door and it became obvious that this was a horrific reality and not a nightmare. Not realizing how narrow the steps were, you missed your footing and began tumbling down the stairs again. you crashed on the floor, more pain rushing to your sides than before. You had no desire to try and get up. Your next few minutes were numbered it seemed like.

“Are you stupid?” the man laughed. “It’s almost sad what I’m about to do.” You could only cover your face with your hands, turning on your side. You didn’t want to die, you especially didn’t want to die as a monthly ritual. You silently prayed for something, anything, to get you out of this mess. Dear lord, please let something help you.

Wait

You heard a low whisper like voice which caught you by surprise. You didn’t breathe, you had to make sure you weren’t just hearing things.

“What?” an annoyed voice replied.

This one...she’s different.

You remained quiet as the man had a conversation with...himself?

“You...look at me.” he barked at you.

Deciding you didn’t want this to end painfully, you moved your hands from your face, confusion very evident in your eyes. The stranger crouched down in front of you, narrowing his eyes at you. He moved his hair out of his face to get a better look at you. As soon as you met his eyes, your expression went blank. You were sure he could see your glossed over eyes from the tears threatening to fall. His expression went from angered to...content? His lips slightly parted as if he hit a temendous realization.

“Oh....” he whispered to himself. “It’s you.” He suddenly began playing with his hands, like he didn’t know whether to reach out or keep them to himself.

You were shaking and scared. You hadn’t realized you had begun to cry from fright. “W-what? Me?”

Before you could register anything, the man grumbled with laughter. He raised his hand and before you could flinch, caught your tears on his thumb. His skin was hot, hotter that normal.

“Hm, well I didn’t expect this to happen.” the man chuckled under his breath. “Come on now, don’t cry.”

“What?” now you were very confused. “Wait-”

“I’m not going to kill you.”

“You’re not?” you were taken aback. “I mean that’s great and all, but-” what caused him to change his mind so quickly?

“You’re thinking why? Why did I change my mind so suddenly?” he cut you off with a glint of a smile. “A wolf never harms his mate.” 

Wait...mate? Did he say mate? Like as is lovers? Soulmates. You were just trying to make sure. Like did you really just hear him say the word...mate? (Oh my god you dumb ass yes he said mate! Does he need to spell it out?)

“Mate?” you repeated your thoughts out loud. “But I’m not-”

“Ah, Ah ,Ah...but you are, Babygirl. The second we laid eyes on eachother. We knew...we just knew.” he wiped more tears from your face. It would have been more assuring if you weren’t in the current situation you were in.

“We?” you had a bad habit or repeating yourself today.

“The wolf, I call him Suga.” he explained. “I’ll have to go into depth later on, but for now. What’s your name?”

Do tell us won’t you?

“My name is...Y/N.” you replied. “That voice. Who is-”

“That would be Suga.” he replied with a laugh. “Don’t mind him, he’s just a pain in the ass.You’ll learn to block him out like I do. Ignore him, he doesn’t provide any substance to any conversation.”

Hey, she’s my mate too.

“And she’ll get to know you when it’s your turn.” he snapped to his wolf. You were left in a heap on confusion. “Would you like to stand or are you more comfortable on the floor?” his gaze on you softened.  He held his hand out for you to take. You then grabbed his hand and heaved yourself up. He followed up in pursuit, standing up as well. 

You awkwardly shifted on the balls of your feet. You didn’t know what to say.

Cat got your tongue?

“Um..no.” you dumbly replied. “I’m j-just...You know if this hadn’t happened I would have been literally dog food right?”

“ I’m not sure if that was a pun or not, but I understand.” Yoongi smiled sideways. “One minute you were bought here as a sacrifice and the next-” he cut himself off. “I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect this myself. It’s the last thing I expected, being stuck down here for so long.”

“Right.” you mumbled.

“You see, it doesn’t matter anymore.” he smirked. “Because you’re mine, and I’m yours.” he chuckled. “Forever” He stared down at you. “You feel it too, I can tell.”

“Why did they trap you down here?” you asked, in desperation to change the subject. “If I can ask.”

“Hm, well people don’t take to kindly to my type anymore. Maybe in the 1800s where they thought we could grant wishes, but not so much anymore.” he shrugged. “I could ask you the same question, Babydoll. Not that I’m not thrilled to have you in my presence.”

“...I was walking home after I had walked my friend back to her house. Next thing I know I was grabbed from behind and then-”

So you were unlucky.

“Seems like it.” Yoongi answered for his wolf. “Fate has strange ways of working doesn’t it?

“Yeah.” you replied. 

“...Hm, well I don’t see a reason I should have to dwell here any longer.” Yoongi hummed. “You must be aching to leave as well. I don’t suppose you know how to pick a lock?”

“You let yourself stay here?”

“Not like I have a pack to follow.” he shrugged.

“Well, I don’t know. I’ve never tried.” you answered. “You can’t just break the chains?”

“They’re indestructible, Princess.” he shrugged. “We’ve tried everything.”

By now, the idiots that trapped me down here will have come to collect the dead body that should be lying before me. I wonder how they’re going to react when they realize.

Before you could react, the door swung open. 

Hide, Princess. Under the stairs.

You instantly ducked behind the steps, as he instructed. You definitely didn’t need to be told twice. You listened as the back and forth between Yoongi and whoever had just entered occured. 

“Come to visit me, Mr. Bower?” 

“Quiet, demon! You’ve gotten your sacrifice-...W-where’s the body?”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about.” he replied. 

“The body! There should be-” the old man stared around the room. He apparently couldn’t see you, but you could see him. You noticed there was something shiny hanging off his belt. A key? You narrowed your eyes to try to make you the mystery object.

What’s wrong, Princess?

Yoongi looked over this Mr. Bower’s shoulder to glance at you just as he heard his wolf speak. You could only mouth “key” under your breath. You pointed to where you wanted him to look. The key stuck out like a sore thumb. If you had moved to abruptly, you probably would have been seen. The good thing about him, was that he could see in even the darkest of places so he understood perfectly. 

“Feel free to look around. I forget sometimes.” Yoongi took a few steps back. 

Mr. Bower began to walk into a random corner of the room, his back turned towards the both of you. Suddenly, The roots of Yoongi’s hair began turning whitish-blue. A iridescent silver color. It traveled down the the very tips of his hair. You stood in amazement, wondering what he was doing. His hair morphed from black to a shiny silver.

What was happening?

I’d turn away if I were you.

He didn’t need to ask again. You practically slapped yourself in the face trying to cover your eyes.

“No, NO!”

There was an echo of screaming and crying. You could just picture it.  All these sounds whizzed around in your head. It was vulgar and scary. Not to mention the most disgusting thing you’ve ever heard in your life. You could hear the man you had just met unleashing his fury on Bower. 

Suddenly it was silent. Enough to where you could hear a pin drop. You felt a gentle hand on your shoulder. 

It’s over sweetheart.

You moved your hands from your face, now covering your cheeks. Call it childish, but it treated like a shield to you. You didn’t dare look over Yoongi’s shoulder. You could see the pool of blood.

“D-did you get the key?” you stammered. 

“Right here?” he held the key in a his hands. “Would you like to to the honors?”

“S-sure.” you weren’t sure how you mustered the wits to grabbed the blood stained key from him, but you did. You unshackled his hands first, then his ankles. 

“Thanks.” Yoongi sighed. 

“No p-problem.” you replied breathlessly. “Um...So what now?” You dropped the key and let your arms rest at your sides.

“Well...we should probably leave. I’m a rogue, I just killed the town’s most loved man. It might be a good idea for us to skip town all together.”

“Us?” you repeated. 

“Yeah, Us. You’re the only witness and namely the first and only human to ever survive a full moon with a werewolf. A rogue, packless one at that.”

Plus, why would we ever leave without our mate.

You blinked a few times, still mulling everything over in your head. Leave town? With a man you just met? Who tried to kill you not even ten minutes ago? 

“It’s scary I know, but we’re in danger here. That man has followers, followers who would kill you first and ask questions later. if they found out you survived, they would think you had someone to do with that scumbag’s death.”

“I d-don’t know.” you shook your head. “I-”

“I want to protect you but you have to let me.” he held out his hands. His hair was slowly started to fade back into that pitch black color. “Y/N, please.” he almost whimpered. He almost sounded like a dog. Ha...dog humor.

To be honest, nothing was keeping you their. The town that was supposed to make you feel safe had turned on you, other women too. How long would it be before another defenseless creature was caught, forced to go insane behind the walls of a smelly basement.

“Okay.” you agreed. 

“I don’t think you know how relieved I am.” he sighed with relief. “Come on, we have to go before someone else comes.” he ushered you over to one of the windows. “Better make this fast.” he mumbled before hauling his fist at the surprisingly fragile boards. The window collapsed, wood and glass seeming exploding. “Shit! That might have been too loud.”

“Really?” you mused sarcastically. “You just punched out a boarded window!”

While you’re very cute princess, that isn’t exactly helping out.

“I fell down the stairs twice. I’ve earned the right to- AAGH!” 

Yoongi had somehow grabbed your wrist and pulled your to his chest. It took a split second to notice your feet weren’t on the ground anymore. 

“Hang on, babe!”

“Wait, what are you-OH MY GOSH WE’RE GONNA DIE!” Yoongi hand climbed up the wall and jumped out the window. The cold air hit your skin. Yoongi practically glided through the air. 

Are you always like this?

“Only when met by situations like this.” you mumbled in reply. Yoongi landed on his feet and set you down. “Woah, it’s been months since I’ve been free.”

“How does it feel?”

“....It feels beautiful.” he sighed with content. “I feel alive again...plus I have you so it’s better.” his face turned serious. “Sweetheart, I meant what I said. We’re in danger if we stay here any longer than needed. I know you might not want to leave...but for your sake and mine. I can’t stay here, to many townspeople know my face, and by now they know that you were supposed to be my sacrifice.”

“Oh...That’s bad, isn’t it.” your insides twisted.

“Very. So I need to say this now before we get too far. Don’t do anything I don’t tell you. Listen when I say something. If I’m about to die you need to run, I’ll be fine you don’t worry about me. and most importantly...”

Your life comes before mine...That means I protect you until the day I stop breathing.

“Do you understand?” his eyes bore into yours. This whole mates thing was heavy, but serious.

“Yes.”

“Good. Now come on. We shouldn’t hang around here any longer.”

[golbrocklovely]

so i finished reading the boys book. i wanted to write down my thoughts about it, so if you've also read it (or just want to know my general feelings about it), feel free to message me !!

SPOILERS AHEAD

also it's gonna be really long bc i have a lot of thoughts. and i'm gonna rate the book at the end if that matters to you lol

so one of the main things that's brought up A LOT in the book is the boys not trying to judge trey and georgia, and honestly it is so annoying to me. idk why gaby wrote it like that, or if sam and colby insisted bc they sounded judgmental thru out the book, but good god the amount of times they talk about not wanting to be judgy, but then going ahead and judging two seconds later is way too much.

there's literally a part in the second chapter where colby says that he hates judgmental ppl, and then literally him and sam judge the rest of the book lmao

i think it's fine that they are judging thru out the whole book bc this situation that they are going thru is foreign to them, so you're gonna be questioning things a lot, i just... don't get why they wanted to say they're not judgmental as if that's the worst thing.

like you literally almost get sacrificed to the dark lord, i think it’s okay if you’re a bit of an asshole, sam and colby

i got annoyed when the boys got really into their philosophies early on in the book, but that's very on brand for them. they don't talk about 'living life to the fullest' and all that shit too much in the book, which is good bc honestly that would have been worse, but they do mention it.

personally, colby's chapters were funnier to read than sam's. maybe it's just bc colby's (kinda sorta) inner dialogue is something i relate to more, but i did find his chapters to be more interesting imo

the nature descriptions in this book are abundant and god knows how gaby was able to describe it as well as she did over and over again. that being said, it happens too many times. like, personally, i don't care about tropical nature, that's not my cup of tea, but if you love that imagery, cool beans and those parts must have been fun for you. but like for me, it was just kinda boring and redundant after a while. bc literally every time the nature was mentioned, it was going from 'oh it's really beautiful. no it's not beautiful, it's gorgeous. no it's ethereal. no it's heaven' and i was just like... we get it.

idk why, but maybe i didn't pay attention well enough, but the drama that happened with trey and colby didn't really feel like it got fully flushed out. like, i got the general idea that trey told colby that youtube was a dumb idea, but i feel like it would have been better to really express how much that hurt colby's feelings, and why that made him cautious to help or see trey.

them physically saying 'this experience is so crazy, we're gonna have to write a book about it'... was a bit too on the nose for me.

highkey, kinda loved the casual mention that sam and colby have smoked weed before, since this is something they both haven't said they've done. (granted we have all seen that one livestream where colby was literally high on an edible or whatever with prettyheartbreak aka my fav livestream of colby’s lol)

also, idk why, but it weirded me out that colby was so hyper-fixated on a mermaid statue of a 16 year old girl... it was just weird to me.

the build up to the spooky stuff took a while to get to, like almost a 100 pages, and i honestly thought half way thru that they were gonna leave the belle estate for good and all the spooky shit would happen afterwards

that being said, i think where the real experience stopped and the novel begins is the first time they left the belle estate. i just have hunch.

not technically book related, but the convo they had to have with alex about turning him into a bad guy must have been a fun lol

like i can literally imagine them asking 'would you be okay with betraying us in our novel?' and alex just being like 'yeah, 100% do it. i'm ready to sacrifice you guys already.' lmao

and my biggest gripe about the book (and also the hugest spoiler):

all the spooky shit they experienced was not real and was just a drug induced hallucination??? i call bullshit.

i think at times it would have been fine to mention that georgia drugged them, or even drugged trey to be compliant (like roofies or something like that), but to literally do the 'it was all a dream' thing except make it drugs... was such a huge let down. 

like, it was cool for a moment to be like, 'holy shit it's not real and she's gonna kill them bc she thinks it is, but she's actually just in a drug induced psychosis'. but the let down of all the ghost and spirits they saw were just bad trips??? i hate that. it was such a cop-out. it would have been so much better to just go full spooky and be like 'no, there's spirits but also we're high', you know?

random things that are extremely nitpicky but whatever i want to say them lol:

colby literally saying ‘w-t-f’ when the sacrifice is going to happen was the dumbest thing i’ve read. there were a couple times thru out the book gaby used internet lingo which was fine (i have no room to talk i literally use ‘i-d-k’ sometimes in actual conversation), but if i was about to be sacrificed, i’d be using every curse word i have in my vernacular lol

sam calling trey a ‘lucky fucker’ was not something i could see sam calling someone, but maybe that’s just me.

there were times it was extremely word heavy, which i know sounds stupid to say for a novel. but there were times that it just felt like gaby was trying to reach a word count, so she would just say every word she could think of. also things were just worded weirdly at times. idk how else to describe it, but if you read it, you probs noticed it too.

there was this one moment in the book i literally got lost at what the fuck was happening bc the boys were flip flopping between hallucinating and hating the belle estate and i was just confused as to what was going on. like, it’s fine for them to lose it, but you don’t need the reader to also be lost along the way.

i would have loved an epilogue of some sort. it felt like it ended too abruptly, so it would have been cool to have some sort of ending where maybe they make a video about the experience, no one believes them bc it’s insane, and then they get news that the belle estate burned down and that trey wasn’t found. or like maybe they get a letter that the belle estate was handed down to them or something like that.

kalani explaining everything to the guys felt a bit lazy. i’m not entirely sure how else gaby could have told all of that information to the audience and sam and colby but it was just weird to have some random person we’ve never met before know everything that was about to happen to them and why.

actual positives i have about the book bc i feel like i shit talked the whole thing:

the humor thru out was really good. how all four of the boys joke with each other felt really realistic and it added some nice touches to the darker scenes.

the gore of kalani having his heart ripped out of his chest was fucking terrifying and dope as shit. i literally went into this book thinking no one was gonna die besides whoever the bad guy was, but i was wrong and i’m impressed.

the hauntings and the descriptions of what sam and colby experienced were so cool and i really loved how she wrote it.

the internal monologue of sam and colby felt exactly like what i think they would sound like in their heads. i think she got a really good grasp at who they are and was able to dictate what they would sound like in a situation like this.

the one scene towards the end where colby was saying how much he loved sam... i literally almost cried.

my rating of the book: 3.5/5 stars

overall, there were parts to the book that i really did enjoy, but i have to take a step back and wonder that if i didn’t know who sam and colby were, would i have even read this book? i don’t usually read paranormal stories, but i have a few in my collection so i think i would have been drawn to the book bc of that. however, i don’t know if i would have understood who the boys were as ppl if i didn’t already know who they were before hand. also i feel like at times the story fell a little flat and for it to take almost 40% of the book to get to the actual haunting parts, i’m not really impressed by that. while i did like reading this book, it could have been a bit better.

please let me know what you think !! i would love to hear your thoughts/theories/commentary on all of it too :)

[annab-nana]

Too Much To Handle - Colby Brock

Y/n reads the comments of a video her and Colby filmed recently and due to the amount of hate, she deals with it in her own way. When she wears a hoodie the next day in the LA heat, Jake and Corey get a little suspicious.

Requested by an amazing anon on Wattpad 🧡

Warnings: some curse words; self-harm (specifically cutting) ; mentions of depression; cyberbullying and telling someone to commit suicide; self-deprecating thoughts

Word Count: 1.6k+

--------------------------------------------------

“I’m gonna beat you, Jake!” Corey shouted as his big brown eyes fixated on the TV screen.

“You wish,” Jake scoffed. I watched the two play Rocket League from the other side of the couch. A light giggle escaped my lips in response to their competitive banter. We all three stared at the screen as we watched their cars drive around, trying to get the ball in the goal. As I gazed at the game, my mind began to zone out, thinking of what I did last night.

“Okay, love you! Bye!” I say to Colby before pressing the red button to end our phone call. I press the home button to return to the main screen and hesitate for a second before inevitably tapping on the red app with a white play button to open YouTube. Colby and I made a video to announce to his subscribers that we are in a relationship. He felt after being together for nine months that now was a good time to tell them. I have been refraining from looking at what everyone was saying for the past several days, but I can’t any longer.

I scrolled through my subscriptions until I found Colby Brock and clicked his most recent upload, “Meet My Girlfriend”. I let the video play as I scroll down to the comments. The top ones are very nice and supportive of our relationship. There are a few people that were so happy that Colby finally got a girlfriend. Some were super nice about me, saying they thought I was pretty or cute or nice, something along those lines. Then, I hit some mean ones.

“Why would Colby go out with her? She is so ugly and not funny or anything. She has zero good qualities.”

“I don’t see what Colby sees in her at all”

“Colby can do soooooo much better”

“Really, Colby? Her?”

They got worse and worse as I scrolled down. Tears pricked my eyes as I read each one. It’s like I couldn’t stop once I started.

“She’s so fat and ugly and Colby isn’t at all. Guess opposites really do attract.”

“I’m literally throwing up. She looks so gross.”

“If I were her, I’d kms. I mean look at her.”

Tears stream down my cheeks as I finally shut my phone off. They aren’t wrong. All the thoughts I used to have when I was in high school came back. I am ugly and fat and I don’t deserve anyone, especially Colby. He could do so much better than me.

I got up and headed to my bathroom. I stared back at the sad girl looking at me. Even though I had made a lot of progress, mentally and physically, I still saw the old high school y/n when I looked into the mirror. She was fat and she was ugly. She was undeserving of love. Colby is such a sweet and amazing guy. He’s cute and hot and the fans were right. He can do better than me. I am nothing, but hideous to look at and messed up on the inside.

My hand trembled as it reached down to open the cabinet under the sink and stretched out to grab a small box that I kept hidden at the back. I placed it on the counter, sliding the lid off to see that hated contents that reside inside. I pulled out a blade and it set in what I was doing. I hadn’t done this in years, but here I am, doing it again.

The tears came harder as my mind races with self-insulting thoughts. I glide a blade across my wrist to let the pain go away. I watch as the blood trickles down my arm and falls into the sink. I make a few more slits across the skin on my arm before I wipe the blade clean, placing it back in the box, and putting the lid back on. I turn the sink on and let the water run over my arm to clean it off. I go back to my room and cry myself to sleep that night.

I look down at my arm now. I wore a hoodie so that my cuts wouldn’t be seen, but I was beginning to regret it because it was super hot today and the A/C doesn’t work here.

“Dude, I am so hot!” Corey says dramatically as he looks over to Jake.

“I know. I swear our air conditioning is never going to be fixed.” Jake replies as the two look at me.

“I don’t know how you are wearing that hoodie, y/n. It’s too hot for all that. You should change it to one of Colby’s shirts. You’ll be cooler.” Corey suggests. My eyes widen as I shake my head. I place my hand over my arm, thinking about why I had to wear a hoodie.

“Y/n, you will have a heat stroke in that thing if you don’t take it off. I’ll get you a shirt if you don’t want one of Colby’s or I’m sure Devyn will let you wear one of hers.” Jake says as he looks to Corey and Corey nods.

“Yeah, and Sam probably has some of Kat’s stuff too,” Corey adds.

“No guys, it’s fine. I’m comfortable, I promise.” I say as I look nervously to my hands. The boys look at each other quizzically. They knew something was up. I have to leave.

“I’m going to go to Colby’s room,” I say as I stand and turn to leave.

“No, y/n!” I hear Jake shout and feel him grab my wrist. The wrist I cut last night.

“Ow!” I say loudly as I wince in pain. Jake’s eyes widen when he realized he hurt me, and he let go quickly. I grab my wrist. Damn, that hurt.

“I’m sorry, y/n. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I barely even grabbed you. I don’t get why it hurt you that bad.” Jake says. I watch as the gears turn in his head, trying to figure out why.

“I burnt myself on accident the other day when I was getting something out of the oven.” I lie straight through my teeth. Corey stands up behind Jake suspiciously.

“Y/n show me your wrist,” Corey demands.

“No, it’s a nasty burn. You guys don’t need to see it.” I lie again.

“I think we can handle it,” Jake mentions.

“No,” I say again.

“Y/n, what are you hiding?” Corey pesters.

“Nothing,” I quickly reply.

“It’s obviously something. I bet I can guess what it is you’re hiding, so just show us. We won’t judge you for it.” Corey tells me as he looks deep into my eyes.

“Yeah, y/n, we love you,” Jake adds. I sigh.

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.” I lie once more. I stare out the window, looking at the pool, trying to collect myself so I don’t cry. I feel one of them grab my hand. As I turn my attention to it, Jake’s other hand pulls my sleeve up. Both of them gasp at the sight of the damage I caused last night. When I see them, I start to full-on sob.

“I’m so sorry guys. I read all the com-comments on the vid-video last night and I couldn-coul-co,” My words were separated by sobs then by gasps for air. I couldn’t breathe. Jake wrapped his arms around me to calm me down and brought me to the floor.

“Breathe, y/n. Breathe. Breathe with me.” Jake told me as he inhaled. I inhaled with him and then we exhaled together. We did that repeatedly until I had calmed down to a silent cry. Jake held me and we sat there in each other’s silence.

“Colby’s on the way, y/n. He’ll be here soon.” Corey tells me as he slides his phone into his pocket. I let out a content sigh, knowing he would be here soon.

“I’m going to go change because I’m hot and then, I’ll be right back down here,” I tell the boys as I get up off the floor. I walk up the stairs and into Colby’s room, finding his bright blue Take Chances shirt and slipping it on after I take off my hoodie. I go back downstairs and sit with Jake and Corey to wait for Colby which only lasted for a few minutes. I heard the front door open and I stood up, running into Colby’s arms as I sobbed. He carried me upstairs and we sat on his bed.

“Can I see them?” He asks in my ear and I pull away, nodding. I show him my wrist and watch as sadness washes over his face. He softly runs a finger over the cuts and leans down to kiss them. He leans up and looks at me.

“Why?” He asks me, his voice sounded like he was on the verge of tears. I breathe in deep and exhale before I tell him.

“I read some of the comments on the video, Colby. They don’t like me and think I’m not pretty or skinny enough to be with you and they’re right, Colbs.” I say and he brings his hand up to wipe the tears that have just fallen.

“Don’t you ever say that about yourself, y/n. You are so beautiful and who cares if they don’t like you. I like you.” He tells me and I smile.

“I like you too, Colby,” I whisper as we get closer to each other and our lips finally meet. They are so soft against my own and I am so glad to be with him. I shouldn’t have let what others said about me get to me like that. I have the most amazing man in the world right here and I couldn’t be happier.

[jaeffrey77]

Thank you for the request! Sorry for taking so long to post it. Hope you’ll like it.

Genre: fluff

Words: 2,6K

Mark stood outside of the haunted house with a couple of his friends, staring at the ominous looking structure, hearing screams from the inside.

"I-I don't know guys. Maybe this isn't the best idea. What if we just went to eat some pizza or something, I mean who knows... Maybe it's gonna be disappointing and we'll just waste our time..."

"Mark, are you scared?"

"No!" The boy got defensive, scoffing at the accusation. "I'm just saying it's probably going to be disappointing..."

His friends shared a look amongst each other, smiling since they knew Mark was lying.

Mark was sure it could be seen but he still tried to hide it. If anyone asked if he was asked, he would deny it instantly.

He was a little sensitive to such a thing as a haunted house. Maybe any other time he would have been down to visit one for fun but he had recently watched a horror movie that was exceptionally scary to him. He had yet to get over it.

"Come on, Mark. It'll be fine. It's not like ghosts exist anyway," Jaehyun patted Mark's back comfortingly. He was still smiling, though. He couldn't help but be amused by how freaked out Mark had gotten over such things.

"Yeah, Mark. Let's go!" Haechan grasped on Mark's arm and started pulling him towards the haunted house.

"Yeah, Mark. You can do it!" Taeil encouraged the younger boy, also giving him a pat on the back before all four of them went in.

The second they stepped in, they could hear the faint scary music being played. Mark grimaced, reminded of the movie he had seen. He really felt like he was in a horror movie.

Haechan began beatboxing to the music, showing just how relaxed he was to be there. Taeil joined in, popping his head to the beat as they began walking. Mark and Jaehyun stayed behind, Jaehyun laughing over what his friends were up to while Mark was looking around anxiously, waiting for something to jump out from every direction.

As Haechan and Taeil kept fooling around, they failed to realize that someone was waiting for them around the corner. A person jumped out, scaring the two and making them jump and scream. Jaehyun laughed harder, finding the sight very amusing while Mark hid behind the laughing man, wincing at the sudden scare.

Taeil and Haechan began laughing, Taeil began even talking with the person before they went back into the corner, waiting for their next scare victim.

Another scare happened soon after, making all of them jump for once but again the other three found it rather amusing, which Mark could not quite relate to.

He was whispering to himself, telling himself he could do this, he would just have to walk a bit more, just stay calm and he'll be done in no time.

But the scares kept coming, each one seeming to get a little worse than the last. He endured it until one certain scare where he was distracted by his younger friend's taunting. Mark kept walking while the other three stayed slightly behind and Mark walked right into one of the people working at the haunted house, causing him to scream out and head right back.

He was running back, away from the scare, just needing to get out as fast as possible. He hid behind a corner, holding his head in his hands and trying to calm himself down before mustering up some courage to go back. When he began walking though, he realized his friends were gone.

He began frantically looking around, realizing he really couldn't see them anywhere. He cursed under his breath and began walking forward again, now very aware that there was going to be someone jumping out from the corner and scare him again.

"I'm not gonna get scared," he whispered to himself. "I'm not gonna get scared. Nope. Not at all. You don't scare me. No, I'm not gonna⁠—AAH!"

Mark still got startled, though he thought he was ready. He clutched his chest, cursing under his breath again, annoyed for being such a scaredy-cat on this particular day.

He still tried to assure himself he wasn't scared. He could get through this, he would just have to walk a bit more to find his friends.

He walked and walked, going for quite a while without anyone scaring him. He was starting to get suspicious. Where were all the people working at the haunted house? Why could he barely hear any screams anymore? How far had his friends gotten without him?

As he began digging for his phone to text his friends and ask where they were, he got so immersed that he didn't see a hand coming through the lower part of the curtain beside him.

He felt a cold hand wrap around his ankle and he jumped, nearly dropping his phone. The hand yanked him slightly but he quickly got free, beginning to run as fast as he could.

On his way he spotted a door that had some sign on it. Without thinking about it much further, he ran to the door, yanked it open and got in. He closed the door and leaned against it while calming himself down again. He had his eyes closed, he was inhaling and exhaling slowly until his breathing was almost back to normal. Once he opened his eyes though, he noticed someone sitting on the floor to his side with a greyish pale face and eyes intimidatingly red.

Mark got startled again.

But so did the person sitting on the floor.

They both stared at each other with wide eyes, not saying a word for a couple of seconds.

"What are you doing here?" The person on the floor asked.

Mark was taken aback by the sudden question. He began looking around the room, realizing it looked like some sort of a break room. There was a fridge and some counter space with a microwave, along with a small table and chairs.

He then turned to look at the person on the ground again, taking in the costume and makeup they were wearing. And in a second, it's as if a light bulb was lit above Mark's head.

"Oh, do you work here?" He asked.

The person nodded, still expecting Mark to answer their earlier question. "Yes, I do. This is a staff room. What are you doing here?"

Mark suddenly realized he may have, or definitely had, entered a room he was not supposed to be in. He did not work in the haunted house, did not have granted access to the staff room, he had just stumbled upon it while running away in fear.

"Oh, uhh, you see..." He began, scratching the back of his neck in nervousness as he tried to think of a way to explain the situation to the stranger sitting on the ground.

Though, he did not have to try and explain, since a scream sounding from the other side of the door made Mark jump in surprise and take a step away from the door.

"Ah, I see," the person figured it all out. "You're scared."

"I'm not scared," Mark tried to deny, though anyone could see that he indeed was afraid.

"It's okay. I'm not judging you. Some people are more scared than others. But why are you here alone if you're so scared? Did you lose a bet or something?"

"No, I came with friends, they kind of dragged me in here. I ended up losing track of them so... they're out there somewhere and I'm... not really in the mood to try and find them."

"Not really in the mood, huh?" The person asked, smiling, knowing fully well Mark was just too scared to go back in. They found it kind of adorable. "Well, you can just stay here for a while and wait for your friends."

"Really?" Mark asked, surprised and very relieved that he didn't have to go back out there alone.

"Yeah, make yourself at home."

"Oh, thank you," Mark replied, deciding to take a seat at the small table. He checked his phone only to realize it was nearly out of battery. "Do you have a charger?"

"Yeah, wait up."

Mark watched the person go to their bag and fish out a charger and toss it to Mark. Mark looked around for a power outlet and put it in before turning to his phone, realizing the charger was for an iPhone.

Mark sighed, giving the charger back.

"Oh... An android user?"

Mark only nodded, crossing his arms. "It's like I'm the only one left. All of my friends have iPhones."

The person chuckled, putting the charger away.

"Do you want to watch something with me? I don't know how much longer you'll have to wait. Wouldn't want you to die out of boredom, you know?"

Mark hesitated but quickly accepted the offer. The person made their way to the table, pulled a chair right next to Mark and sat down. Surprised by the sudden closeness, Mark pulled back a bit but he quickly relaxed, turning to the phone that was now set on the table with some YouTube video playing on the screen.

Mark sneaked many glances at the person while they were supposed to be watching the video, realizing his heart thumping in his chest whenever the person shifted on their chair, making their elbow or thigh graze his.

Mark also felt butterflies in his stomach every time the friendly stranger laughed at something that was said or done in the video. He was about to give up on actually watching the video and just focus on the person instead.

After watching a couple of videos, the person gestured to the phone and turned to Mark. "I need to go wash off all of this makeup. You can keep watching whatever you want. I'll be right back."

"Oh, okay, thanks," Mark replied, taking the phone in his hand and looking through the recommended page, scrolling through until a video that caught his eye came up. He pressed play and began watching.

A couple of minutes passed by and the person came back to the room, announcing their presence. Mark looked up for a second to greet them but ended up staring at the person, surprised by how they looked without all that strange makeup. He was in awe.

The person minded their own business, packing up their stuff, getting ready to leave. They asked Mark for the time only to get nothing but silence in return. They looked up, brow raised as they saw Mark's bewildered expression. "Hey," they laughed, snapping their fingers to get Mark to wake up from his trance. "You okay?"

Mark almost comically shook awake, back to the present. "Huh?"

"You okay? What are you staring at?"

"Oh, uhh... You just... look very different without all that makeup, that's all."

This made the person quiet down for a second before they let out the smallest laugh, a smile spreading on their face. "Thanks? I guess." They shook their head, clearly amused by Mark's comment.

Mark on the other hand shook his head but not for the same reason as the other person. Obviously they would look different... But what he really meant was that he actually found them rather attractive. He could never say that out loud, though.

The person kept on packing while Mark tried to get back to the video only for his eyes to find the friendly stranger every once in a while. Just as he was staring at them, his phone rang in his pocket. He quickly took it in hand, seeing the caller ID reading "Jaehyun". He answered it immediately.

"Mark! Where are you? Did you get lost?"

"Not really," Mark replied, looking back at the person who was now looking back at him too, silently asking if it was his friends calling him. "Why? Did you get out of the haunted house already?"

"Yeah, we've been waiting for you for nearly half an hour now."

"Oh, sorry, I'll be right there. You're outside, right?"

"Yeah... But where are you again?"

"I'll be right down, bye," Mark ended the call quickly, not really wanting to explain the whole situation right at this moment. He figured he'd have time later, or time to avoid the topic as much as possible, knowing he was going to get teased.

"My friends are outside," he announced.

"Oh, good. I'm just about to leave too. Let's go," they smiled, heading towards the exit, revealing a narrow stairwell leading towards a door leading outside. They walked out, coming down to behind the building before they began circling it to meet with Mark's friends.

"Mark! Long time no see," Haechan joked, seeing Mark coming from a couple feet away. He then noticed another person walking beside him and turned to Taeil and Jaehyun, giving a sign with his eyes as if to tell them to check this out.

"Yeah, sorry to keep him from you," the person next to Mark joked, patting his shoulder. "He's safe and sound, no need to worry. But, I've got to go now."

"Oh, yeah, of course..." Mark said, a bit of disappointment clear in his voice.

"It was nice to see you, Mark," the person said, smiling at the name that they had just heard Haechan yell out not more than a few seconds before. "Bye everyone, hope you enjoyed the haunted house."

A chorus of thank yous could be heard before another set of goodbyes came out. As the person waved at Mark once more, the boys turned to each other, immediately bombarding Mark with questions.

"Who was that?"

"That was... uh.... Oh no, I didn't ask for their name." Mark raised a hand to his forehead, realizing he never found out the name of the incredibly friendly stranger. "How did I not think to ask for their name? Anyway... They work here, they--"

"Hey! You! Mark's friend!" Taeil yelled out after the person. They turned around, surprised to be called out after.

Mark turned to Taeil with panic in his eyes, noticing Haechan suppressing a smile, a plan in mind.

"No, don't--"

"Mark wants to know your name! And probably your number too!" He yelled out, ducking out of Mark's way just as the older boy was about to reach out to him. Haechan ran behind Jaehyun, using him like a human shield. Jaehyun only smiled at the situation Mark was put in, enjoying  how it all was unfolding.

The person didn't respond, leading Mark to feeling very embarrassed and turning away, thinking of possible ways to hide and escape this situation.

Just as he was seriously considering just bolting away, he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to be met with the person he was just about to run away from. They held their hand out, smiling. "Give me your phone."

He did, hesitantly, watching the person go into his contacts and creating a new one. They typed in their number, finishing off with their name that Mark didn't quite catch. They also sent a message to their phone, not only giving Mark their phone number but also getting his in return.

"I've really got to go now. I'm going to miss the buss. Bye, everyone!" They said before jogging away.

Mark earned congratulations from his friends who once again began bombarding him with questions but all he was focused on was the new contact open on his phone.

"Y/N," he said quietly to himself, smiling at the name appearing on the screen. It took a couple of seconds for him to put his phone away and turn to his friends but the smile didn't go away. He had come to the haunted house with not such a good mood but left with a much better and that continued for the rest of the night. His day really had turned out much better than he thought it would.

[1dfangirls35]

Voir Dire- N.H.

A fake dating OU about contracts, soulmates, and risking it all for love.

Story Masterlist // Talk to me

eleven

warnings: some language and mentions of infidelity

They say that social media is both a blessing and a curse. To Kelsey, this statement had never been more true.

With the release of his newest single, "Put A Little Love On Me", Niall had spent weeks traveling around the world, doing all sorts of promotion. Including plenty of pap shots with Krystal. At the start of the promotional run, Becca, her resident aspiring entertainment journalist, had introduced Kelsey to both the blessing and the curse of Niall Horan fan accounts. In some lapse of good judgement, Kelsey had followed such accounts on Instagram, resulting in a flood of Niall pictures daily. Although she loved to see pictures of Niall when he was out and about promoting, it was his other companion who she was less than thrilled about seeing. 

Niall had been good about preventing Kelsey from being caught off-guard. Whenever he was set to make an appearance with Krystal he gave her a heads up, letting her know exactly where and what they'd been papped doing. And he was always right, with those pictures popping up on the internet later in the day.

Kelsey had quickly learned that social media was not ideal when you were watching a guy you were see date another girl in front of the camera. She soon discovered that the best way to move past the fact that Niall lived a completely different life in person than he did with her was to simply avoid social media. If she didn't see it, she didn't have to think about all the comments saying how perfect Krystal and Niall were together. She didn't have to be reminded that she wasn't getting to walk the red carpet with him or hold his hand as he walked through crowds on the way to his hotel for the night. She could, quite honestly, pretend that Krystal didn't exist.

But today, Kelsey was particularly bored laying on the couch. She'd had a long shift at The Manhattan the night before, and she'd decided that today was just going to be a day of relaxation. Niall was coming over later this evening and until then, she had nothing to do but rewatch old Grey's Anatomy episodes.

So when she picked up her phone and the glowing purple and pink icon of the Instagram app caught her eye, calling out to her on the bright lit screen, she couldn't help but click on it. Because what harm would a little mindless social media scrolling do?

She almost didn't recognize what it was when she first scrolled past it. A blingy new ring seemed to be a weekly occurrence for at least one of her friends. But then it hit her. Like all of a sudden she'd been hit by a bus.

Kelsey looked at the ring again. It wasn't small by any means. It's exactly the one they'd admired on Pinterest boards for years in college. It's the same one they'd looked at in jewelry cases at the mall just for fun. But when they had done all those things, Kelsey never would have imagined that the giver of that ring would be him. But then again, there's a lot of things that a year ago she never would have imagined happening.

Kelsey swiped left and there he is. His smile bright and his eyes crinkled on the sides like they used to when Kelsey made him laugh. His face pushed up against hers showing off the ring in her hand. Kelsey felt sick to her stomach. A year ago, Jessica was trying to get hints from Sam as to when he was going to propose to Kelsey and now...Jessica and Sam are engaged.

Her eyes become fixated on the photo. A picture that less than a year ago likely would have consisted of her face instead of Jessica's. Staring at it felt like Kelsey was holding her hand over an open flame; but yet, she couldn't seem to bring her eyes away from it.

She thought about the night at the beginning of senior year, when Sam had walked in on her dabbing her eyes at a wedding video on Youtube. He'd laughed at her at first, wondering how she could possible be growing so tearful from watching a video of two complete strangers. But then he'd crawled into bed beside her and clicked replay and they'd watched it all over again, this time with his arms wrapped around hers and her head resting on his broad chest.

"How're you going to make it through our wedding without crying if you can't make it through this babe? You know I'm gonna write vows a million times better than those," He'd said with a grin; the one where his eyes crinkled on the sides.

They'd spent the rest of the night critiquing the weddings of complete strangers. Laughing, crying, deciding that when they got married it would be in the fall because that's when the leaves were the prettiest and the air was cool enough that Sam wouldn't sweat through his tux, and that if they were going to have to have cake at their wedding (for tradition of course) it was going to be red velvet, because that was the only kind Kelsey would eat. Kelsey had warned Sam that when he proposed it better have meaning. It had to incorporate some piece of their relationship. Something that showed the journey they'd had together. No crazy flash mobs or impromptu dance numbers allowed.

And that's what really got her: thinking about the proposal she'd always dreamed about. She hadn't thought about Sam this hard in months. She'd said she had moved on, that he meant nothing to her anymore. But her she was sitting on her couching, staring at his stupid, crinkle-eyed smile and remembering every stupid little detail of the fairytale romance they'd planned out. And that almost stung more than him cheating on her with her best friend. Almost.

The tears began to swell in Kelsey's eyes, but she tried to hold them back. The last thing either of those backstabbers deserved was a single ounce of liquid to be shed in their name. Because she was happy right? She'd moved on.

Kelsey tried to scroll, as fast as she can to get to something, anything but the picture of her ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend happily engaged. It was only bad luck that she would happen to land on a picture from one of the Niall fan accounts, but this time, instead of a charming photo of Niall it's a picture that had been manipulated into a wedding photo of Kelsey and Niall. Taunting her as if Niall is just the next man on her list to lose to someone else.

Kelsey threw her phone to the other side of the couch where it lands with a thud. She didn't want to look at it. She didn't want to think about Sam and Jessica. She didn't want to think about Niall and Krystal. Was this what her life was coming to? Always being the other woman?

So Kelsey did the only logical thing she can think of. She grabbed a bottle of cheap Moscato from its place on the top of the refrigerator and pours herself a glass. And then another. Until slowly, she started to feel numb.

*******************

Niall could tell something was wrong the second he walks into Kelsey's apartment. He spotted the empty bottle of wine before he spotted her, laying on the couch with a bag of popcorn and The Notebook playing on the TV. He knew a woman with an empty bottle and  The Notebook was almost never a good sign.

Becca cleared her throat loudly as Niall entered, gesturing for him to come towards her. He slowly crept towards her, his brain racing through trying to think of what he may have done that would have sent Kelsey into such a downward spiral.

Becca didn't say anything to Niall. Instead, she held up the same photo that Kelsey came across hours before. To Niall, it looked like just another engagement photo at first glance. But judging by the way Kelsey was laying on the couch like she just went through a bad break-up, he could put the pieces together of whose engagement this was. It had to be Sam's, the guy that broke her heart.

Niall didn't know much about Sam other than the obvious. But judging by the empty wine bottle sitting on the glass coffee table, there was a lot more to the story than Kelsey has ever let on.

"She's probably nowhere near as perfect as you," Niall said as he slides onto the couch next to her. He hoped his words would give her some consolation, a little reminder that she was far better than any girl her ex-boyfriend could be engaged to.

But Kelsey's eyes didn't fill with relief or reassurance. Instead they shifted towards the floor as words are muttered from Kelsey's mouth that Niall never saw coming. "She was my best friend."

Niall turned his head to look towards Becca for confirmation of this new revelation. Kelsey's best friend engaged to her ex-boyfriend was a more complicated story than he initially thought, and it definitely explained the messy state that she seemed to be in. But Becca has seemingly vanished, leaving Niall to pry the details from an intoxicated Kelsey all on his own.

"I..." Niall wasn't sure what to say. Should he ask for more details in hopes that maybe with more information he can provide some comfort to her that it would all be okay? Or does asking questions just bring up old wounds, wounds that in the few months that Niall had known Kelsey, she had kept hidden? Should he instead keep quiet, knowing that she would tell him in time if she wanted to?

Niall didn't have to make a decision though because shockingly, for both Niall and Kelsey, she began to speak. "They'd never really been close you know, in fact when Sam and I first started dating, Jess hated him."Once the words left Kelsey's lips she couldn't take them back. It was like the wine has opened a gateway into her inner monologue and Niall was about to hear it all, whether she wanted him to or not.

"I was hopelessly in love. The butterflies in my stomach, heads in the clouds kind of love. And I thought Sam was too. There was never a bone in my body that doubted his love for me," Kelsey said slowly, and Niall can sense the ache in her voice even with all the alcohol.

Niall didn't say anything, instead watching as Kelsey shifted her gaze from the window to her nails, bringing her fingers to pick at the edges as she began to speak. "It was a few weeks into second semester. I'd been studying non-stop for the LSAT, partially because it was two days  away and mostly because after the news of my parents divorce I needed something, anything to get my mind off of things. I'd told Sam I'd be in the library all weekend studying. But I felt guilty that we hadn't spent much time together recently. So I decided I'd surprise him. It would make both of us happy, giving me a much needed break from studying and him some extra time with me that he'd been complaining about missing out on." Kelsey paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "And so I went to his apartment, all dressed up. He didn't answer the door when I knocked, and I figured he was either sleeping or listening to music, neither of which was abnormal for him."

Kelsey noticed that her voice was beginning to shake. It's the first time that she'd told the story, the whole story, to anyone out loud. Niall seemed to sense her hesitance, reaching his hand to grasp hers, and offering a reassuring squeeze.

"So I let myself in," Kelsey continued. "And I walked to his bedroom, pushed open his door and found my best friend naked on top of him." The image still bore through Kelsey's mind. The guy dropping, chest stabbing feeling she'd had that day lingering now. "Nothing prepared me for that. Nothing prepared me for finding my best friend on top of my boyfriend." Kelsey looked at Niall, her eyes beginning to water.

"Sometimes I wonder, what would have happened if I had not just let myself in. Would I have found out some other way? Or would I still be living in ignorant bliss, working my ass off in law school while he fucked her on the weekends?" Kelsey spat.

"And the worst thing of all was that he knew what I was going through with my parents," her voice grew more angry. "He knew how fragile I had become, how much distrust I had in love. And then he went and shattered me while I was already broken. I couldn't come back from that, not for my LSAT that Monday, not for anything."

Kelsey began to sniffle, wiping a stray tear that had escaped from her eye with the pad of her finger. Niall instinctively wrapped his arm around her shoulders, bringing her towards his chest and rubbing her back in a smooth, rhythmic motion. They stayed like that for a moment, Niall not sure what he could possibly stay and Kelsey still trying to find her words while keeping her emotions in check.

"I searched the deepest corners of my mind for some red flag I missed, some sign that they'd been doing this all along, that I'd just been oblivious to their love. I spent nights laying awake running through every moment I'd spent with the two of them for any signs of attractions, I tried to recall every time that Sam had been late to answering my texts or hadn't let me know where he was. But I couldn't find anything, I still can't find anything," Kelsey said with frustration.

"But now," she began sitting up and wiping her eyes once again. "Now, they are engaged and that's the end of that," she smiled, but it's a smile Niall can see right through. It was one of those smiles you used to try to mask the fact that you were an emotional wreck. The kind that you think might make yourself feel better even though you feel like absolute shit. Those smiles never worked, and it didn't work for Kelsey in that moment either.

The truth of the matter was, whether Kelsey was ready to admit it or not, the roles of those two people, arguably the two most important people in her life just over a year ago, was over. There would be no glorious scene where Kelsey rushed into their wedding, shouting that this was a mistake and Sam suddenly realizing that it was Kelsey he had loved all along. Similarly, there would be no scene where Jessica came begging for forgiveness from Kelsey, and Kelsey would accept, realizing that what Jessica and Sam had was unlike anything Kelsey and him could have hoped for.

Kelsey began to think that maybe this utter despair, this feeling of rock bottom, this ache in her chest like her wounds were reopened, would catapult her into a place of healing. A new journey. Or maybe now she noticed all the scars she'd been holding onto for so long. Maybe her wounds were still there, and maybe this was simply making her realize just how fragile she was. Nothing in her life was certain. She didn't have her career path solidified, she didn't have her family, and did she really even have Niall? Or was that just a mirage as well? "What are we doing?" Kelsey said suddenly.

"What do you mean Kels?" Niall asked, taken aback by the sudden change in subject.

"I mean what are WE doing?" Kelsey said again, gesturing between the two of them. "What are we Niall? Just messing around for the fun of it? It's not like we can ever be something with all this sneaking around." Kelsey didn't intend for her words to come out so harsh, but it was what she was thinking. It was what she questioned to herself every time she came across a photo of Niall and Krystal. 

"We're getting to know each other Kelsey. We both agreed to take things slow, and you know I like you. I really like you..." Niall looked at Kelsey, his brows furrowed. "Is this because of the engagement?"

"Yes. No. I don't know," Kelsey threw her head into her hands. "I just," she paused again, her mind searching for the right words.

"I just think about how I'll never be able to post a photo of us snuggling on the couch, or how we can never go out to dinner or walk on the beach hand in hand. And I just wonder if this is even something. Or is this just us being stupid and foolish and thinking that this can go somewhere with all these limitations stacked upon us." Kelsey feels her cheeks begin to grow wet. Again. It had got to be the wine, because Kelsey didn't feel sad about this. She felt frustrated.

"And god, I just have this idea in my head that keeps playing over and over.  And all I see is you and her and you telling me that you realized it wasn't all fake with her," she let out, her voice beginning to crack. She didn't know if she could do it. She wasn't sure she was strong enough to find herself in the position of the other woman once again.

"Kels," Niall said softly, running his fingers through her hair. There was a phrase on the tip of his tongue. I phrase that involved the word falling and was almost as terrifying to Niall as being trapped in a small space for hours on end. So he pushed the words away, instead taking the tip of his finger and wiping a stray tear from Kelsey's eyes.

"You've went through a lot today, you're hurting. And honestly, I don't know if anything I can say right now is going to make you feel better. But all I can tell you is that I would never hurt you in the way that they hurt you okay? And this thing we are doing? This is more real than anything I've ever had. Okay?" he looked into her eyes, they're red and puffy, but they were still the most beautiful things he'd ever laid eyes on.

"Okay," Kelsey replied. It was no answer. It was no solution to all her doubts and fears. But for tonight, and for her wine-influenced mind, it was what Kelsey needed to lay her head on Niall's shoulder and drift off to sleep.

Tag List: @awomanindeniall​ @ihearthemcallingforyou @niall-is-my-dream

[flarebossmalva]

the catghost post, pt. 1 [intro saga]

i said i was gonna talk about catghost, and then it turned into attempting to explain catghost by summarizing it, and then it turned into multiple posts because there’s a lot of material to cover and i want to do a thorough job. watch the intro saga first because this is a good series and you should check it out for yourself before listening to me ramble about it!

CWs for part 1: murder, images of dead bodies / skeletal remains, other disturbing imagery (including a couple jumpscares), one image depicting animal death (it’s near the very end of the post)

Alright, I’m posting with decent grammar so you know it’s serious. If you’re just here looking for a brief overview of the series, here’s my crack at it: CatGhost is a multimedia ARG comprised primarily of YouTube videos and accompanying minigames. It’s ongoing, and I plan to update this post as the series itself updates. On the surface, the videos resemble other YouTube cartoons, following the tried-and-true formula of two characters comically tormenting a third; however, something else is clearly going on below the surface, and it quickly becomes clear that these three are tied together by very dark circumstances. Much of what’s really going on is still unclear, but enough has been revealed that I can talk about it without constantly resorting to pure guesswork.

This is part one, covering the Intro Saga (first three videos and their associated games). Like I said, I wanted to be thorough and if I didn’t split it up into separate posts this would get way too long. It’s already too long.

CatGhost 1, “Birthday,” opens with flames filling the screen, then a ripple effect playing over the title card, which I mention because that’s gonna make a whole lot more sense in a minute. We then see our main cast, Elon (cat), Naarah (ghost), and Gideon (hedgehog). Gideon is asleep and the girls are making fun of him. From their dynamic, it seems Naarah’s pretty young and Elon is sort of a big sister figure to her, which means they’re probably close in age. Gideon is 48; today is allegedly his birthday, though he seems unaware until the girls tell him so. Gideon seems generally confused about whatever’s going on and just wants to go back to sleep, but the girls want to take him out to someplace called “Party Country,” and eventually they end up threatening to curse him if he doesn’t comply. The threat seems pretty real as the girls’ voices turn demonic and their eyes glow. Gideon gives in, though it’s unclear if he even realized he was in any danger. 

Next scene, Gideon is presented with his birthday cake, which is... pretty wonky-looking, to put it gently. Pecking order for the trio gets further established when Naarah intimidates Gideon into saying the cake she made looks fine and seconds later Elon comments that the cake isn’t very good. Naarah defends herself and says that it’s hard to bake a cake without hands, to which Elon sympathizes and says that her paws aren’t much good either. Naarah says “I miss having a body.” The girls were human once, and seem to remember it clearly. Gideon, on the other hand, interjects saying he has no idea what they’re talking about. Whatever circumstances have bound these three together, Gideon seems to be the only one with no awareness of what’s going on.

Party Country turns out to be an arcade cabinet. Gideon is encouraged to play, but he seems completely apathetic about the game (Gideon seems completely apathetic about most things) and dialogue implies he may not even know what a video game is. Naarah calls Gideon “Dad” at one point while she and Elon bully him into playing, a detail which could lead one to guess a major twist way in advance but which I actually never noticed until just now. Gideon gives in and starts playing, declaring that the game (which we can’t see yet) is actually pretty fun, but the girls continue to tell him to play as if they can’t see that he’s already complying. We then cut to the game, which I’ll talk about more below, but suffice it to say that unless your definition of “fun” is all about talking to fucked-up skeleton ladies in some haunted woods, this is not a fun game:

Afterwards, Gideon wakes and assumes he dreamed the whole thing until he sees the ugly birthday cake Naarah baked. He waves goodbye to the viewer, breaking the fourth wall; an odd thing for a character who shows so little awareness of his surroundings to do.

The game associated with this episode is the same game shown in the episode itself. It’s pretty simple; you play as Gideon and can move left or right through a gloomy-looking pixelated forest. There are two NPCs and a small number of objects to be interacted with, all of which can appear randomly. For now, we’ll focus on the two NPCs. Both are skeletons, and both wear simple dresses of the type peasant girls might wear; one is tinted red, the other tinted blue, with the blue skeleton being notably smaller. When interacted with, the red skeleton will say “It burns! I can’t feel my skin,” or “Trapped like a fly in a jar,” or “I have taken on my new form.” The blue skeleton will say “It’s cold here, I can’t breathe,” or “I have to save him, he waited for me,” or “She lured me into this place.” Is the fire/water motif from the episode’s opening starting to seem relevant? Oh, and there’s more. One game object is a sort of upright stone with a hole cut into it near the top; I’ll be calling this object “Key” as that’s how it identifies itself. Key can be interacted with by typing questions, to which it will give an appropriate answer based on words/phrases it recognizes (like Tool in Petscop, incidentally). If we ask Key certain questions about our main cast, we can learn a lot about the story.

Ask “Who is Elon,” and Key tells you, “Temptress.” Asking the same question about Naarah returns “Proselyte,” while Gideon is “Judge.” If you ask what happened to any of the main cast, you’re told “Vanished.” However, asking for death dates yields results; Elon and Naarah both died in 1650, while Gideon died in 1672. Ask where each of the main three are, and you learn Elon is “In a jar,” Naarah is “Immersed,” and Gideon is “In a dark place.” Given all that, I think we can put the basic setting together:

Elon, Naarah, and Gideon were all human once. They lived during the seventeenth century in what is now the northeastern United States. Naarah must have been a preteen or young teen at the time of her death; Elon was likely a young adult in her late teens when she died, and the pair met their respective fates at or around the same time. Gideon lived into his late forties before dying, which speaks to a life of relative comfort for the time and place, befitting a judge. The animosity between the girls and Gideon seems pretty clear: Gideon sentenced both of them to death for witchcraft. Elon, represented in-game by the red skeleton, was burned at the stake, and her ashes were subsequently stored in a jar. Naarah was drowned by being tied to a chair and immersed in a large body of water (this was a common execution method for suspected witches, and the presence of a chair hanging from a rope in the game supports this); her remains are still underwater. Gideon was most likely given a traditional burial after he passed away of, most likely, natural causes. The wrinkle is that Gideon seems to have been right — Elon and Naarah are witches. Elon (the Temptress) taught Naarah (the Proselyte) the craft. Now all three appear to be stuck in the world of the show, which I guess is some sort of weird limbo, and only Elon and Naarah know what’s going on or who they used to be, probably because they are witches. 

We can also take some more guesses at what might be going on based off the interactions the main cast have with each other. For instance, Elon’s the leader of the group and generally takes charge, but it’s clear that at least some of that confidence is an act and she doesn’t really seem to be pulling the strings here. The two have plenty of reasons to hate Gideon and could easily use their magic to put him through hell, but instead they don’t go beyond pushing him around and making fun of him — Naarah even bakes him a cake, which she complains about the difficulty of doing. This could imply the three have been trapped in the afterlife with each other ever since dying and the girls have finally gotten tired of exacting less petty revenge. It could also mean that deep down they’re fond of Gideon and don’t really want him to come to harm, which is a strange relationship to have with the man who ordered your torture and execution. Later videos will shed further light on the dynamics between the three, but for now we’ll leave it at that.

One more thing before I move on — asking Key any question containing the word “murder” will trigger a jumpscare. Initially, this was of what appears to be Naarah’s corpse, but it’s since been changed (we’ll talk about that change later). Here’s the original jumpscare showing Naarah:

CatGhost 2, “Knock,” is more straightforward and thus will take me less time to summarize, thank god. Elon and Naarah are telling knock knock jokes. Gideon completely fails to understand the joke, and possibly completely fails to understand the concept of jokes, and the girls get so pissed they put some sort of curse on him and he winds up locked in a dungeon-like room. The door bears a large ornamental mail slot that looks like some sort of gargoyle’s face, with the slot as its mouth. Gideon is instructed to write a knock knock joke that’s actually funny and slide it through the door if he wants to be released. His first attempt is rejected (it doesn’t even have a punchline) and so Gideon tries to think of another. Cut to the words “2 years later” and Gideon’s still trying to write a funny knock knock joke — this series isn’t above the typical cartoon tropes and I love it. He finally comes up with one (Knock knock / Who’s there / Anita / Anita who / Anita get through this door!) and triumphantly slides it into the mail slot, which then grows larger until it takes up nearly the entire door, the “mouth” gaping wide. Gideon stares at it and is seemingly hypnotized. Disturbing images tinted blue and red flash across the screen, before the camera pulls back and Gideon is shown still in a trancelike state as the girls look at him, confused. Naarah says he’s been staring at that door a while, and she and Elon seem mildly concerned, but decide poking him with a stick would be more fun than helping him. Credits roll.

For this episode, much of the worldbuilding is in the form of freeze-frame bonuses and background details, meaning you have to pay close attention to catch everything. When Gideon is teleported to the cell, images flash onscreen showing an inverted cross and the word “EXCRUCIATE,” all tinted red (the color generally associated with Elon), as well as what appear to be human bones and a girl’s face, tinted blue (the color associated with Naarah). In the cell with Gideon is a skeleton, though he seems not to take notice. One wall reads “Wild Partes of the World,” which is a complex reference I won’t attempt to explain in full (the phrase has been quoted and quoted again across multiple books) but in context within the rest of the story refers to early seventeenth-century Virginia, which must be where our main trio lived as humans. Text is shown written in the Theban alphabet, a substitution cipher based on the Latin alphabet and generally associated with witches and occultists. When Gideon is hypnotized by the door, he sees a judge’s podium, a jar (presumably the one containing Elon’s ashes), and a hanging chair (as was used to execute Naarah). Images of graves are shown, inverted and flipped upside down, along with a similarly distorted picture of a row of houses. During the end credits, the background appears to be lava with yellow flashes moving across it; putting all these yellow flashes together results in this image:

Audio during the intro, when reversed, is of a voice saying “I don’t know. I don’t know where it’s at. I think they’ve been looking for it for a long time, but… sometimes it seems like we’re just never going to find it.”

The accompanying minigame features the door from Gideon’s cell, complete with its ornamental mail slot (browsing the wiki, because of course there’s a wiki and of course that’s how I’m getting images for this post as well as checking for stuff I missed, it seems fans call this the “Horrible Beast door”). The door can be interacted with by knocking on it using tap code; if the right words are input, the game will display a corresponding image.

“Megalith” produces an image of Key, the stone you can question in the previous minigame:

“Libation” shows Gideon’s unfortunate-looking birthday cake:

“Trinity” shows the shadows of three people, what appears to be a man and two girls, most likely our main trio:

“Excruciate” shows what is presumably the stake used during Elon’s execution:

“Proselyte” shows what must be Naarah’s skeleton, along with the chair she was bound to, laying at the bottom of a body of water:

CatGhost 3, “Window,” opens by showing that same body of water, although there is no sign of the chair or of Naarah’s remains. We then cut to an outhouse in the show’s typical animated style. Elon is inside, preening, when a noise outside startles her. She checks and discovers a small hand mirror, with Theban writing on it reading “For Elon,” though the text is mirrored and upside down. Elon seems confused and flips the mirror open, whereupon she sees a black-and-white image of a mysterious woman, her face completely in shadow save for her glowing white eyes. When the woman raises her head and makes eye contact with Elon, the cat gets so spooked she drops the mirror and flees. Elon runs back inside, entering via the Horrible Beast door, and is greeted by Naarah, who’s acting suspiciously and asks if Elon saw anything interesting outside. When she’s asked point blank if she’s the one who left the mirror there, Naarah denies it and blames Gideon, and even though it seems obvious that she’s lying, Elon doesn’t question her further. She confronts Gideon, who is chopping wood and seems enthusiastic for once, and tells him — I’m only paraphrasing slightly here — not to use witchcraft to fuck with a witch, or else [colorful threat omitted for brevity’s sake]. At the end of this rant, she briefly shapeshifts into some sort of demonic chimera, with a snakelike body, horns, and quite a lot of teeth. Gideon, who as usual has no idea what she’s on about, is suitably terrified.

Elon, back to her regular form, goes back inside and picks up what appears to be a crayon drawing of a blue girl hugging a taller red girl, accompanied by Theban that reads “From: Naarah, To: bestest best friend.” We can presume Naarah is the blue girl and Elon is the red girl, of course, but of interest is the small form next to the house in the background. It looks like it could be a dog, and, given later events, it almost certainly is a dog.

The drawing had been resting on a large object covered with a cloth, and Elon, curious, pulls the cloth free. Underneath are three mirrors, angled so they all face towards her, and the strange woman from earlier (some fans call her “the Watcher,” which I’ll go with for now) is reflected in each one. Elon is frozen in place as the three Watchers advance towards her, and she begins to cry. The Watcher points a finger (from here on there seems to be only one of her, not three) and Elon begins levitating as the background glitches out. She’s tugged towards the Watcher, and when the outstretched finger touches her forehead, the screen goes white.

Then we’re back to the pixel graphics from the first minigame, in the same dark woods as before, but Elon and Naarah aren’t skeletons — they’re living girls. Elon is pale, with long red hair and blue eyes; Naarah is quite a bit smaller, with brown skin and dark blue-tinged hair in pigtails. Interestingly, Elon wears a blue dress and Naarah’s dress is red, despite their typical color associations. Elon stands over a crying Naarah, her expression sullen. After a few seconds, the credits roll.

This time, the “minigame” just shows a static image of a mirror. Well, almost static — the clock resting on the dresser below the mirror moves in real time, matching the time set on the player’s computer. At exactly three AM system time, the Watcher appears in the mirror, which is then overtaken by static, and the scene changes to Elon and Naarah as we saw them during the end of the last video. Initially, it seems to be the same as before, with Elon standing over Naarah as she cries, but this time there’s dialogue. Here, have a transcript I stole from the wiki because it was easier than typing it up again myself:

After this, the mirror becomes static once more; if you wait three minutes, this image displays for a single frame before the game closes:

So, yeah, I think it’s safe to say that’s a dog in Naarah’s drawing. This also seems to explain why she’s crying in the scene we just saw. Why the dog was killed (sacrificed on an alter, looks like) is a mystery I’ll tackle when we cover the later sagas.

Also, in the interest of equality, this time it’s Elon who jumpscares you if you type “murder.” Typing doesn’t do anything else in this game, though.

That concludes the Intro Saga! This post is already really long and I’m not going to bother giving closing thoughts at this point especially considering the series is still ongoing. Stay tuned for the next installment, coming whenever I get around to it!

[haha-bri]

A Maylor Fanfiction!

Okay, Maylor Fanfiction is actually one of my guilty pleasures. I can’t stop reading them everywhere and I really love both Roger and Brian. So, after a lot of reading, I finally make my own fanfiction. It’s still shitty and not as beautiful as those fanfictions out there and my English is not that good (it’s not my first language). So, if you’re sucker for Maylor, then let me feed you, darlings.

This is an M-rated for mentioning sex. And also I got the idea from FRIENDS when Monica and Chandler are sneaking around from their friends. And I’m a big fan of FRIENDS so I got the concept from there. It has its own twists and I hope you like it. Cheers.

I also post it on my AO3. It’s called We Can Work It Out

We Can Work It Out

Chapter 1:  I Had No Idea that You're in Deep

Hey, Deacy’s finally out. Are you gonna come over? – Bri

Roger read the text message from Brian when he was playing scrabble with Freddie in his own flat. He glanced toward Freddie and he saw the older man was busying himself form a word from his own scrabble tile. He was about to reply Brian’s message when Freddie chirped out in happiness when he got a high score.

“Yeah! Now you’re going down, Taylor!” Freddie said in pure happiness while Roger was only thinking about going to Brian’s and Deacy’s shared flat that was actually only across the hall.

“That’s not so bad, mate,” Roger squinted his eyes and tried to reply Brian’s text first before he form his own word.

Still playin scrabble w fred. Wait a min.

After he sent his message, he bit his lip because he was worried Freddie would catch him texting with Brian behind his back. Oh, yeah, Brian and Roger were in a kind of relationship. They were only fooling around but not actually in a real relationship. They casually slept with each other but not calling themselves boyfriends yet. That was why they didn’t speak a word toward their bandmates, Freddie and Deacy. They wanted to keep it that way.

Just tell him that you’re going to do some laundry or something. I miss you. – Bri

Reading Brian’s immediate reply made Roger bit his bottom lip even harder. He believed if he bit it much harder, it would bleed. Freddie reminded him to form a word already and he also warned Roger not to bit his lip too hard. Roger stopped his bad habit for a moment until he formed a word and he accidentally formed a high-scored word. Freddie looked unhappy but the older man just frowned.

“Who are you texting?” Freddie asked all of sudden. Roger didn’t see that coming and he just startled a little bit. He casually took a swig from his beer to control his mini heart attack and also to hide his blush from Freddie. He didn’t want to tell his best friend that he was secretly texting Brian who was waiting for him across the hall just to had sex with him.

“Um… my sister?” He cursed himself because it sounded more like a question than a statement. Roger knew that Freddie didn’t believe him a hundred percent, judging how the older man looked right now, but he also didn’t want to tell Freddie the truth, yet. It was his deal with Brian.

Aren’t you coming over? I’m so close to do it all by myself in the bathroom. – Bri.

Roger couldn’t breathe. He imagined Brian doing something dirty just to relieve himself in the bathroom and boy, that was so fucking hot and he could feel himself getting hard just the thought of it. But, Roger immediately remembered that he was not alone and Freddie was sitting right in front of him. He didn’t want to alarm the older man that Roger was imagining their guitarist doing something dirty in his bathroom.

B there in 5 mins.

“Uh… Fred? I just remember that I have a pile of dirty clothes in my room. And I know I don’t have more clean clothes to wear. So, I’m going to do some laundry downstairs.” Roger finally said. He felt bad that he lied to his roommate and his best friend. He didn’t want to lie to Freddie. In fact, he wanted to tell Freddie everything about his secret kind of relationship with Brian. But everything was perfect between him and Brian because nobody knew about their relationship yet and they wanted to keep it that way until both men were ready to tell the world.

“Laundry? I thought you were doing your laundry last night when Deacy and I were out?” Damn. Roger needed a better excuse in the future and Freddie knew how terrible of a liar Roger was.

“Well, I was so occupied watching some videos on Youtube last night that I actually kind of forgot to do my laundry. So, I think I don’t want to forget it this time,” Roger said with a smile. Freddie was skeptical at first but he was nodding anyway. Roger was relieved that Freddie actually bought it. And he also kind of complimented himself how fast he could think of an excuse.

“Well, since you’re going to be busy doing your laundry and I have no one to talk to in the flat right now, I think I’m just going to hang out at Bri-”

“NO!” Roger regretted it how loud he sounded right now. Freddie looked suspicious and Roger knew how red his face was right now. Okay, he couldn’t think of an excuse right now. How could he be that stupid?

“Why, darling?” Freddie asked suspiciously. Okay, think, Taylor, think!

“Uhm… I don’t think neither Brian nor Deacy are home. Don’t you read their messages at the group chat? Deacy is out with Veronica and Brian is doing some nerd shit at the library?” Freddie immediately checked his own phone and opened the message that Roger was talking about. He read the message and nodded to himself. Roger sighed in relieve when Freddie didn’t look as suspicious as before.

After Freddie decided to go out too – saying that he was going to hang out with his girlfriend instead – Roger grabbed his ‘dirty clothes’ and did his ‘laundry’. Freddie offered to walk with Roger but the blonde man refused, saying that he needed something first and with that, Freddie was finally out. Roger sighed once again and let himself out of his own flat.

Roger knocked three times at Brian’s door and the older man opened it as fast as he could. He looked surprised that Roger brought some dirty clothes and Roger could only smile sheepishly when Brian gave him a questioning look.

“What took you so long?”

“Freddie was suspicious that I’m going to do another laundry. He remembered that I was doing my laundry last night while he was out with Deacy. So I had to explain it to him that I was too busy watching some videos on youtube that I actually forgot that I had to do some laundry. He bought it, though. And he almost came here to hang out with you, and I panicked then I told him that Deacy is out, so are you. Sooo…” Roger explained to Brian and he rubbed his own temple. He sure was tired of sneaking around behind their best friend’s back.

“Good,” Now Brian was grabbing Roger’s hand and the younger male dropped his clothes on the floor and let Brian took him to the older man’s bedroom. Roger’s heart was thumping excitedly, knowing what was about to happened behind the close door.

As soon as the door was closed, he could feel Brian’s hungry lips on his and Roger forgot almost everything.

 “God, you’re amazing,” Roger mumbled while snuggling with Brian. He put his head on Brian’s chest and drew a random pattern on the older man’s chest. He could hear Brian’s soft laugh and he also could feel that Brian’s was petting his hair.

“You’re amazing, too, Rog,” Brian said while kissing Roger’s blonde mop. Roger sighed to Brian’s chest and he still felt bad about lying to Freddie and Deacy about their secret encounter. He also was very tired that he had to sneaking around some nights just to had sex with Brian. He didn’t even know what they were. Were they boyfriends? Lovers? Partners? Or just some random hook up? They had been doing this for two and a half months but they never actually talked about this. They were always too busy with each other and once they were done, either Roger or Brian would go back to their place so their roommates would not get suspicious.

“Oh fuck!” Roger yelped when he felt something burning in his ass and he knew that it was going to be hard for him to walk. During Roger’s thinking, Brian decided to sit up and that made Roger involuntarily sat up too.

“You okay, sweetie?” Brian asked with pure concern. Roger nodded and said that he could feel his ass was burning and he knew he would be limping when he walked later. The older male apologized for being too rough but Roger just silenced him with a sweet kiss on his mouth.

“Why are you sitting up? I was pretty comfortable down there.” Roger protested with a pout and Brian just chuckled looking at his blonde lover who was now looking like a ten year-old child.

“You looked uneasy. What is going on, sweetheart? Is everything alright?” Once the question was out of Brian’s mouth, Roger dropped his head and sighed. He knew that sooner or later they had to have this kind of conversation. But he hated to bring it up. He knew that Brian was not ready to open up about his bisexuality to their friends and he knew that Brian was far from ready to have a relationship with Roger. He knew how scary it was for Brian to actually have a relationship. The curly-haired man was having some serious commitment issues that Roger didn’t fully understand why.

“What are we, Bri?” Roger knew he regretted it the second he said those damn words. Roger could see the fear behind Brian’s hazel eyes and he hated it. He hated the fact that it was Roger that made Brian looked like he was scared or something. He knew it that Brian was not ready and he knew that whatever what was going to be Brian’s answer would hurt him.

“Uh… Do you really want to have that conversation right now, Rog?” Roger closed his eyes. He knew Brian was only avoiding Roger’s question so he didn’t break Roger’s heart. But he also needed some clear answer about whatever they were having right now. He was just so tired of sneaking around. Even though Brian was an awesome lay but sometimes it was so hard.

“I know it’s really hard for you to answer my question. But-“

“Look, I love what we are having right now. I’m just not ready to talk about it. I hope you understand and let’s just enjoy each other’s company, yeah? I just have to be sure first, Rog. I don’t want to hurt you and I also don’t want to be someone who breaks your heart. Just… Just make it casual. We’re friends and we’re having sex. Not to mention, we’re having such an amazing sex. So, just enjoy it for a while, will you?” Brian asked and Roger could sense the fear behind Brian’s calm tone. He just nodded and kissed Brian silently.

Once Brian was sure that Roger had dropped the conversation, he could feel Roger was climbing on top of him. The blonde was straddling him and sitting on his lap while kissing him passionately. This kiss was different. It was that kind of kiss that Roger tried to assure Brian that everything was going to be okay. Brian was more than happy to kiss Roger back, especially when he could feel Roger’s hands were on his neck and playing with his long curly hair.

When the make out session was getting way too hot and Roger was a moaning mess, Brian could hear the front door was opened. Both men were frozen. Roger was still on Brian’s lap while Brian’s hands were on Roger’s ass. Roger was the one who was glanced to the alarm clock on Brian’s dresser. It was six o’clock and Deacy wasn’t supposed to be back for another hour.

“Bri?” Both Brian and Roger could hear Deacy’s voice on the hallway and now both men were panicking. Roger was peeling himself off of Brian so fast that he actually picked up his clothes and put it on as fast as he could. He also tried to tidy up his hair so he didn’t look like he just had sex with Brian. The older male was doing the same thing. He grabbed some random clothes from the piles and he also rubbed his face just to make him more presentable. Not that was necessary, though. Because Brian was sure he looked like he just had an amazing sex. Which he did.

“Bri, you there?” Both men were panicking even more when he heard Deacy was knocking Brian’s bedroom door. Without thinking, Roger entered Brian’s closet and he promised Brian that he would not make any noise. After Roger was giving Brian a cute peck on the lips, Brian let Deacy entered his bedroom.

“’Sup, mate? I thought you’re not gonna be back for another hour? Is Veronica okay?” Deacy almost jumped to hear Brian’s tone. The younger male frowned to see his best friend’s peculiar behavior. Deacy might be not talking too much but boy that bassist was sure an observant one.

“She’s fine. She needs to do her coursework so I’m back already. Uh… Do you know that there’s a pile of clothes in the front door? Are they yours?” Deacy asked. Brian cursed under his breath and he would give Roger punishment later because his blonde boy was so reckless to leave his clothes in the front door.

“Uh… yeah. I was about to do some laundry but my stomach really hurt. So I just kind of dropped it there and ran to the toilet. And now I’m feeling much better so I’m just going to finish my laundry.” Brian lied and he knew that Deacy wouldn’t believe him just like that. But the younger male didn’t give any more questions and in fact, he just shrugged and left Brian’s bedroom.

The older man sighed and whispered to Roger that he was going to get the blonde’s clothes so Deacy wouldn’t be too suspicious. He also told Roger that if Deacy was in his own bedroom, he would let Roger out of the closet. Roger couldn’t help himself and giggled rather loudly when he heard Brian’s last sentence and Brian just kicked the closet door softly, earning a muffled laugh from Roger.

Once Brian was out of his bedroom and Deacy was nowhere to be found, he informed Roger that he was free to leave. The younger male was out of the closet, literally, and Brian helped him to sneak Roger out of his own flat. Roger was gathering his clothes from the floor and he almost opened the front door when-

“Roger?”

[puppetwritings]

Are You Serious...? || Wonwoo || Oneshot

Word Count: 2135

Genre: youtuber!au, gamer!au, fluff

Summary: Your new neighbor seemed nice enough but he was just a little...or a LOT too loud--especially after midnight. 

You closed your eyes, willing yourself to sleep when you heard the unmistakable voice of your next door neighbor yelling “Oh frick!” through the walls of your apartment.

It was 2am. What was the man doing, playing games at 2am? You weren’t sure but the moment you heard a muffled (very muffled) mumbling of “Hey guys” you knew what was going to happen. You just knew it. But you had a presentation the next day at school so it wasn’t as if you could just not sleep until the guy was done. However, that might have been the better choice. You had been lying in bed for up to three hours (possibly less, but it definitely felt like more) listening to the man next door play in silence before a sudden, and jolting, “Are you serious?”

You wanted to ask him that question.

But you were never one for confrontation. He wasn’t hurting you. Or, at least, not yet? You weren’t a zombie roaming the halls yet. You still got your rest so you were fine. You figured, hey, this was his stress relief and you had no reason to ruin that. You were reasonable. But reason and patience only went so far when it was once or maybe even up to five times a week.

When you woke up the next morning though with only coffee on your mind, you knew this couldn’t possibly go on. You had to confront your next door neighbor.

He had moved in approximately half a year after you. You saw him once while he was taking out the trash and you guys exchanged eye contact about three times over the course of the three months you guys had been living next to each other. He didn’t seem like a bad person at all; sometimes you can’t judge a book by its cover though.

Promptly at one o’clock in the afternoon, you stood in front of your neighbor’s door and rang the doorbell. He wouldn’t be here, you were sure, but you could tell yourself that you tried at least.

To your complete surprise, and almost horror, the door was pulled open, revealing a handsome young man who had the worst bed head you had ever seen. At one o’clock in the afternoon.

“Hello…” he mumbled in his gravelly voice, still half asleep and unable to discern between dream and reality.

“Uh, hi,” you greeted. “So, um, I live next door to you?”

“Oh, yeah, I’ve seen you. I’m Wonwoo.”

“Right, uh, I’m Y/N, but you see the thing is,” you hesitated a second before working up the courage and continuing. “You’re really loud at night. I can hear you? Though the walls. And I’m not judging you on what you do in your free time but I need to sleep to because, y’know, I’m human. So, I was wondering if it were possible to cut back on the noise somehow or just do whatever you’re doing at a different time. Preferably in the day. It’s healthier that way for you anyway?”

Wonwoo stared at you, his eyes somewhat glazed. You weren’t sure if he was sleep walking or he was just plain asleep in front of you. You were about to speak again when he nodded. “Right, sorry. I’ve been meaning to install the soundproof panels but I just never got around to getting them.”

Soundproof panels. This man uses soundproof panels. You nodded though. If that’s what it took, then that’s what it took.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so inconsiderate.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine. I mean, kinda, not like ‘it’s fine you shouldn’t install them’, but like, ‘it’s fine not that you’re going to install them’,” you said with a nod. You paused a second, looking at Wonwoo before you nodded again. “Well, uh, I’ll see you around neighbor.”

“Yeah…sorry again.”

“Yeah, we’re good,” you said, scooting back over to your own apartment right next door. You unlocked it and slipped in.

Well, that wasn’t too bad! He seems like a nice person. Understanding enough…which means you should be understanding right?

He said he would get the soundproof panels, which meant he didn’t have them yet. It wasn’t like Wonwoo had agreed to moving up his gaming time (or at least you think that’s what he’s doing, yelling at the top of his lungs). No, he had just said he would install the panels. So, honestly, it really shouldn’t have come as a surprise to you when a few days later you heard “I quit. That’s it. I’m done” through the walls again.

And, again, that’s what you wanted to say.

It was just something you had to deal with! Wonwoo seemed like an honest person. He wasn’t the type to lie, right? He said he would get those panels and he will get those panels. Eventually. Hopefully soon. If not soon then you might resort to complaining to the landlord.

But you began to wonder about Wonwoo. Did he go to school? How did he sleep in so late? Was he a dropout? Why did he have time to play games so late into the night? It was better than having parties, you supposed, but a one person party is almost as bad as pounding music every night. Almost.

It wasn’t until you were drifting off at your friends when you found out the answer. A familiar “Hey guys” shook you awake. And it was followed by a “I’m back with Portal II and this time I’m gonna try playing this with my buddy, Jihoon”.

“Why are you talking into a microphone?”

“He’s happy to be here.”

“What is that?” you groaned, shoving your head under a couch cushion.

Your friend looked up past her laptop. “What, this?”

“Yes.”

“It’s YouTube.”

“No, but, like, what are you watching?” you asked, clawing your way up so that you could look at her laptop.

“It’s a playthrough of Portal II.”

“Oh, yeah?” you mumbled, watching the screen. “Where’s the person?”

“Oh, Wonwoo doesn’t reveal his face,” Jieun said.

“Wonwoo?” your ears perked at the name and Jieun nodded.

“I’m not sure why but he’s been doing this for like three years and he just refuses to reveal his face,” Jieun said. “Everyone says he’s probably really good looking but others say he’s probably ugly if he’s not going to reveal his face.”

You nodded numbly but sat in silence as you listened to Wonwoo and his friend, Jihoon, talk through the video. He definitely was not ugly if this was the same Wonwoo.

You went back home with a new perspective. You found that you could understand Wonwoo a bit more, despite still being beyond irritated with him and his gaming past midnight.

As you lay in bed, beginning to drift off to sleep, you noticed something different. There was no…yelling. Or cursing. You couldn’t hear the frantic clicking or the upset slamming of the controller. It was quiet.

Instead of thinking, logically, that he installed soundproof panels, you wondered if maybe something bad had happened to him. What if he passed out from not getting enough sleep? What if he tripped over all his gaming chords and hit his head?

It might have been because you weren’t used to the sudden silence but your mind created a copious number of stupid scenarios until finally it reached a conclusion. He just installed the soundproof panels. And with that calming thought, you settled into your bed and fell asleep.

You didn’t think much about Wonwoo after that. You saw him taking out the trash once in awhile or getting the mail, but you guys never made small talk or did anything more than a nod of a head with a friendly smile. You liked it this way. There was a distance and he didn’t have to know that you knew who he was.

That had to change though, of course.

One day, while you were enjoying your Saturday afternoon, you heard your doorbell ring. You raised an eyebrow, not expecting guests, but went to open the door anyway. You were faced with a sheepish Wonwoo, standing with his laptop in his hands. His hair was tousled, he wore glasses, and he was dressed in a sleeveless shirt and basketball shorts. He looked like he was ready to lounge.

“Yes?”

“Could I, maybe, borrow your internet?”

“What?”

“My router broke and I have to upload something by today,” Wonwoo said, a sheepish smile on his face. “I won’t take long. Probably an hour at most.”

An hour is a long time, you thought. But you nodded and stepped aside, letting him in. You gave him the Wi-Fi password and watched as he sat down on the floor, setting his laptop on your coffee table.

“So, uh…” you took a sip of your tea. “Do you want some tea?”

“Huh? Oh, no, it’s okay.”

“Water?”

Wonwoo paused a moment before nodding. “Sure. Thank you.”

“Yeah, no problem,” you stood, filling up a cup for him before coming back and setting it beside him. You watched him for a moment in silence before you decided to make small talk again. “Are you in college?”

“Yes, I am. I’m majoring in Computer Science. I kinda wanted to be a game designer. You?”

“Oh, that’s really cool,” you said, genuinely impressed. “I’m majoring in Musical Therapy.”

“I have a friend that you would get along with,” Wonwoo chuckled. He stared intently at the monitor before turning to you. “I installed the panels. Is it better?”

“Yes, by a lot. It’s basically silent now,” you said. “I actually had to take some time getting used to it because you would always mumble and I ended up falling asleep to that.”

Wonwoo laughed. “I’ve been told my voice can be soothing.”

“When you’re not yelling and cursing?”

“Hey, some games can be very frustrating,” Wonwoo said in mock defense.

You smiled despite yourself. “Is it? Does it take a lot for you to get frustrated?”

“Honestly, it depends on the day,” Wonwoo said with a sigh, his hand folding on his lap as he leaned back against the couch. “If I’m feeling stressed I kind of take it out on the game—also, I don’t play that well when I’m not in a good mood.”

“Why do you play then?”

“To keep my channel regular,” Wonwoo paused after he said that statement and quickly clarified, “I post videos on YouTube.”

“Right, yeah.”

“Yeah, and I have a schedule so sometimes I try to work ahead or film and edit it fast,” Wonwoo shrugged. “It’s fun though.”

“You should probably take a break sometimes,” you said with a slight frown. “You look really beat down when I see you sometimes.”

Wonwoo nodded. “I agree. There are days where I just don’t get sleep.”

“That is not healthy,” you said sternly.

He grinned, “Don’t worry, Y/N, I take care of my health well enough.”

Your eyes widened in surprise. He actually remembered your name. You were sure you had just been a passing stranger to him but he actually took the time to remember your name. It wasn’t anything big but you were oddly touched by it; especially since you had told him your name while he was probably half asleep and during a slightly vicious request.

“You should come over and play sometimes. I have a lot of non-violent games.”

“Are you inviting me to be on your channel?” you asked teasingly.

Wonwoo laughed. “Only if you want to be.”

“I’ll think about it,” you replied, a big smile on your face.

Wonwoo wasn’t…bad. In fact, you would go as far to say that he was pretty great. You listened to his passionate rambling about interactive storytelling and how he had wanted to be a writer when he was younger but now he wanted to create a game with a creative storyline; it was inspiring. And Wonwoo was pleasant to talk to. He had similar interests to you (something you would not have guessed by his yelling several weeks back) and his jokes were oddly funny.

By the end of the hour, you were almost sad to see him go but as you saw him out, Wonwoo paused awkwardly.

“Uh, do you want to grab coffee sometime? Or, tea, I guess. It was nice talking to you,” Wonwoo said, glancing at you shyly.

You froze for a moment before you nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! Yeah, that sounds great. I wouldn’t mind that.”

Wonwoo grinned and nodded. “Then, uh…Saturday? Next week, maybe?”

“Perfect,” you agreed. “I’ll see you next Saturday then.”

“Right. I’ll try not to make a ruckus before then,” Wonwoo promised, taking a step back. “See you.”

“Bye,” you waved, somewhat awkwardly, and closed the door once Wonwoo turned back to his apartment.

…Was that a date?

[softkent]

snow, snuggles, and shitty

Kent Parson/Jack Zimmermann, Jack Zimmermann & Shitty Knight Rated M Tags: Snowed In, Injury Recovery, Anxiety, Coming Out, Temporary Mobility Aid Chapter 1/?  2.1k words 

for @parsebingo​ squares  snowed in, injury, recovery, shower sex, bed sharing.

read on ao3

Before the Aces announce Kent being put on IR, he texts Jack, asking if he could come for a quick visit while his knee rests. Of course Jack immediately thinks of how it would be to wake up next to Kenny again, to just be close to him, but his rational side speaks first.

Doesn't the team need your support? What about training? Kit needs--

Kent fields the questions sufficiently enough for Jack to concede. He books his flight before Jack can change his mind.

Jack isn't worried. Really. Everything is going to turn out fine. None of this is going to cause him any problems. Everyone won't think anything of Kent coming to visit him. The world knows they're friends. His friends know he and Kent are friends. No one will look beyond that.

Okay, Jack's worrying a little. He's talked things over with Kent, who reassured him for the hundredth time that things are gonna be fine, but Jack's anxiety didn't get the memo. He takes in a long breath through his nose and puffs it out through his mouth in a frustrated sigh.

With everyone else out for classes or studying, Jack has the Haus to himself, awaiting Kent's arrival. He’s picking away at the blanket covering the green couch waiting for Kent to knock on the front door. With each passing minute, Jack comes up with more reasons for Kent not to be here. He'll hate the Haus, the couch, berate Jack for using the roof as a room, and so on. He realizes all these passing problems aren't real. Kent wouldn't judge him.

A rapping on the door makes Jack jump out of his thoughts.

“Ziiiiiimms!” he can hear Kent whining a little muffled out on the porch. “I’m freezing out here!”

Jack gets up and jogs to the door. When he swings it open, a gust of biting wind blows into the house followed by a shivering Kent with the help of crutches. He watches as Kent bends down to unlace his boots.

“You’re the one that wanted to come visit me in winter,” he reminds him, reaching out to hold his shoulder when he sees Kent swaying a little with his weight on his bad knee. “Here, let me,” he says in a huff.

He bends down himself to untie the boot himself. Kent looks away from Jack’s ministrations and bites at his lip. If it weren’t for the cold outside, Jack thinks the pink on his cheeks is from the embarrassment of needing help.

“Thanks,” Kent whispers when Jack sets his boot beside the other near the other shoes littering the entrance way. “We, uh, we alone?”

Jack stands up, taking his time to let a smile spread across his lips when he’s looking down at Kent’s hazel eyes. He nods, knowing what’s coming. He throws his arms out to steady them both when Kent jumps forward, grabbing Jack’s face and bringing him down into a kiss.

Immediately, Jack is pulled back into the thousands of kisses they’ve shared over the years. Kent’s hands are cold, but sure holding his face like it’s something precious. They’re chests press firmly together. Jack bends down a little to make the reach easier on Kent with his one good leg. Jack’s chapped lips catch a little against Kent’s, but neither of them pay it any mind.

Kent pulls back enough to smile wide at Jack. He’s familiar with this look--so open and warm. Jack knows he looks the same--looks like he’s brimming with love. He leans in to press a peck to the corner of his smile.

“Thank you for coming,” Jack whispers to him and slips his hands firmly around his boyfriend’s middle--holding him close as he buries his face into his neck to breathe him in.

“Hey,” Kent says, patting Jack’s back. “Don’t mention it. This is a completely selfish trip.”

They laugh for a moment as they appreciate each other’s presence. Jack can’t remember the last winter he felt this warm. Jack’s foot nudges Kent’s bag, making a point and distracting him from the flood of butterflies in his stomach.

“Want me to get this upstairs? I can’t have you eating it trying to juggle things while climbing the stairs with that,” Jack explains, nodding to his crutches.

Kent rolls his eyes. “I got up that hell of a sidewalk all on my own, big guy, with ice! I think I can handle a few steps.”

Jack puts his hands up in defeat. “Alright. Guess you don’t need me to carry you up either, then.” His boyfriend’s eyes go wide for a second and he opens his mouth to protest. “No, no. It’s all good. You can handle yourself.”

“That was before I knew you carrying me was an option. You know how much I...enjoy you lifting me.”

“Or is it why I’m usually lifting you that you enjoy?” Jack asks, walking off into the living room.

Kent hobbles after him, scoffing. "Well, nobody told me that was on the table!"

He collides into Jack with groping, hopeful hands. Jack keeps their balance, again, and wonders if he'll end up getting injured himself before Kenny heads back to Las Vegas. He still wasn't sure how long Kent will be staying.

Like he'd suggested, Jack quickly bends his knees and gets his hands under Kent's ass. He lifts him up to wrap his legs around him, giving him ample time to steady himself without hurting his knee and starts walking up the stairs, duffle bag forgotten by the front door.

“Jackie-boy! You aren’t going to buh-lieeeeve what that white supremacist asshat said in class today,” Shitty yells once he’s inside the Haus, knocking the snow off his boots.

He looks up when he doesn’t get his usual hello. A few feet down the hall is a duffle bag next to a pair of crutches. He toes off his boots without bothering to unlace them and hops in stocking feet away from the entryway in an attempt to avoid wet socks.

Shitty peeks into the living room. Jack’s school stuff is on the coffee table with the TV off. He looks back to the duffle bag and crutches. On top of the bag, an Aces hat is resting upside down. One of Shitty’s eyebrows shoots up as a large smirk pulls up the corner of his mouth.

Before Shitty heads upstairs to put away all his class shit, he picks up the duffle bag and tucks it beside the stairs, out of the way, and picks up the crutches. Since nobody’s down here, whoever needs them is probably going to need them getting down here. Though he’s pretty sure he knows who must be up there with Jack, he doesn’t let himself fully think it. Jack’ll tell him, or he’ll find out eventually. No need to ponder it. He thinks about knocking on Jack’s closed door, but instead quietly leans the crutches beside it and tiptoes down to his door.

Jack wants to thank his therapist for suggesting he focus his schedule around morning classes. He knows it was meant to help him get up and out of the house first thing so he won't have time to dwell and build up his anxiety, still being partially asleep, but if one of the perks is the entire afternoon in bed with his boyfriend maybe he should send her some flowers...

"You sure you don't wanna do online school and come live with me?" Kent asks through his heavy breathing and blissed-out expression, laying naked and half on top of Jack. "I could get used to this."

Jack rolls his eyes and catches his own breath for a second. "You sure you don't want to get traded to the Falconers or something?" Jack asks with a smile, thinking back to all the times they've joked about this. "I could definitely get used to you being here."

Kent smacks what he can reach of Jack's ass and slides off of him onto the other side of the bed. He curses having forgotten to watch out for his leg and readjusts to stretch it out.

"Did you lie to me about the PT guy saying this was okay?"

"No! I would never lie about sex, Zimms."

"I meant coming here in the first place...Wait, did you really ask about sex?"

Kent laughs and nods. "Hell yeah, I did! Gotta ask the important questions: sex, showering, and driving. All of which are completely good-to-go."

Jack pulls Kent to him, letting him rest his head against his chest and places a quick kiss to the top of his messy, blond hair. "Does that mean you're ready to go again?"

Kent kisses Jack’s chest with a smile and licks his nipple in a fast, completely unsexy way. Jack finches away with an unexpected giggle, shielding his other nipple from Kent with his hand. From the glimmer in Kent’s eyes, he knows he’s a goner. Jack has never won a tickle fight in his life.

As the guys trickle on back home from a day of boring classes while they were wishing they were out playing in the snow or even just at home sleeping, the sky gets darker and the snow’s falling faster. When Holster stumbles in past the wind, the snow building in front of the porch is halfway up his shins.

Jack and Kent are warm up in bed with Jack’s laptop perched on his knees playing a cat video Kent insisted they had to watch before Jack could play another YouTube video in some series called Facts You Wish You Didn’t Know About Our Past Leaders.

Kent tells him again with deadly sincerity, “you can only go so far down to YouTube rabbithole before you come up for air and a good ole cat video and restart the cycle or you’ll end up watching some of the weirdest ever made by man at three am questioning reality.”

Jack’s giggles shake his stomach and computer so much the screen tips back so neither of them can see the video anymore, only causing his laughing to increase.

“You goober,” Kent chuckles and moves the laptop to the nightstand after pausing the video. “I think that’s enough of YouTube before we go insane.”

“Goober? Really?”

Kent tries to push Jack off the bed, but Jack grabs onto his arm. They shuffle back and forth for leverage until Kent tips backwards, head towards the floor, with Jack sliding over top of him. They’ve half laughing, half screaming when someone knocks on the door.

“You dyin’ in there?” Shitty yells through the bathroom door.

Jack tries to right himself, but Kenny slides out from under him to the side, causing Jack to slip onto the floor.

“Ow! Told you I’d end up injured! Nah, Shitty. Nobody’s dying!” Jack yells back to him.

He’s about to tell him to come in and say hi to Kent when he remembers their clothes are still next to his door instead of covering them up. He glances up to where Kent is sitting stark naked without a single iota of modesty, legs fully splayed, and stifling his laughter behind his hand.

Along his neck are a few red marks popping against his lightly tanned skin. A few streak trail down Kent’s chest where Jack’s fingernails traversed his body down to his hips earlier to get better leverage. In the back of his mind, he’s glad Kent won’t be stripping down in a locker room full of chirps and interns taking photos for social media.

“Alrighty, brah. What do you want for noms? Dining hall closed early ‘cause of the storm. I’m thinking pizza,” Shitty yells to him.

Kent looks at him expectantly. When Jack doesn’t answer straight away, he nods at him and motions to the door. Jack relents and tells Shitty they’ll be down soon.

“I thought you might want to avoid everybody for as long as you could…,” he mumbles while picking up his pants.

“Why would I do that? Hey, look at me…” Kent says, voice laced with concern. He waits until Jack turns back to him before he goes on, “I love you and am part of your life. I’m not going anywhere or trying to hide from your friends. I know you have good taste, so I’m sure we’ll get along.”

Jack looks away with a nod. The voice of his anxiety isn’t reality. Sometimes, it’s just so hard to separate the two. The nagging feeling that Kent’s just saying things to make him feel better sits in the back of his mind, but he choose to trust what he’s saying. Kent came all this way. He wouldn’t have done that just to hook up.

“Yeah, I know you’ll like ‘em.”

[thefanficnewbie]

The Oxy Girl | Tricia Miller x reader - Chapter 1

Summary: You are one of the teenagers at-risk taken to Litchfield in the “a day in the jail” program. Straying from your group in search of adventure, you end up finding something way darker.

Warning: Drug overdose

Honestly, the whole thing was just ridiculous. All that time you spent preparing yourself and watching “Beyond Scared Straight” episodes on Youtube had completely gone to waste. You didn’t know about other prisons nearby, but Litchfield was a joke.

Your parent’s decision to put you in the intervention program had, at the very least, shocked you. Those two were actually forcing you to spend a day in jail? Way too desperate measures, in your opinion. C’mon, you were a functional teenager with a social circle, hobbies and great stories to tell. Which also translated to the gang you were part of; your good taste for parties, smoking, and drinking; and the several times you had fun doing illegal shit. Well, at least you were making memories, right?

After the comedy with the inmates (you almost felt sorry for their cringy attempts to spook you), you didn’t fail to notice the baby-faced guard leaving the room. With only one officer and two inmates leading the line, it was stupidly easy to stay at the back and turn at a random corner when the opportunity came up. So much for a well-secured correctional institution. 

Free from the tour, you now strolled through the hallways, careful to stay only in the empty ones, keeping your guard up and making mental notes of possible hiding spots in case anyone saw you. Piece of cake. Until you walked by a random door with a glass square and, out of the corner of your eye, spotted what looked like a girl fallen to the ground. Frowning, you stepped back, certain it was probably just a broom and your mind playing tricks on you.

Your eyebrows shot upwards as you acknowledged that that was indeed a female - not much older than you, now that you took in the details -, and you would’ve ducked to stay out of her sight if it weren’t for her obvious ill state. That girl (inmate, judging from her clothes) looked very sick, and still hadn’t noticed you standing there. There was something wrong.

Knocking on the glass, you managed to catch her attention as she slowly turned her head towards you. A gasp left your lips as you noticed the bag of pills in her hands. No. This couldn’t be what you thought it was. But you were in a prison, which meant it also pretty much fucking could.

“Oh my God, oh my God...” You mumbled in alarm, your hands suddenly shaky at the realization. You’d never seen someone overdose in person, but you’d lost acquaintances because of that, and you’d heard the stories. Plus, you knew the symptoms. You had to take that damn bag away from her.

“Shit!” The door was locked. Pumped by adrenaline, you quickly considered your options. The girl was too high to pay attention and understand what you were saying (or rather, signaling), and you didn’t even know if that wasn’t actually attempted suicide. Talking to her was impossible. 

Next idea was to call an officer and get professional help, but you knew that would take too long, especially with all the questions and lectures resulting of your little “exploring” adventure. By the time someone with a key got there, that inmate would be dead. Picking the lock it is, then. 

Your heartbeats echoed in your ears as you crouched and took off two pins from your hair. It wasn’t as easy as Hollywood sold it, but you had done it enough times to find it not too challenging. It was a routine process - bend one of the pins, pressure the lock, use the other one to elevate the inside pins. It was just a matter of finding the heavier ones and pushing them upwards until the lock moved.

Forty-three anxiety-filled seconds later, you finally heard the click. In a jump, you thrashed the door open, stumbling over your feet as you saw the girl up close. Her head was bent to the side, her eyes half-closed and her chest moving in very irregular patterns. Your gaze went straight to the pill bag in her hands, almost empty.

You cursed and promptly grabbed it, throwing it to the across the room. That got a reaction from the girl.

“Hey!” Her voice was hoarse and her pupils were two little dots in the middle of her irises as she turned to look at you. “Give ‘em back-” She grimaced, clearly in distress, before shaking her head and shifting her attention back to you, a confused expression on her face.

“You had too much of that already.” You muttered and knelt down next to her. “I need you to help me help you, what did you take?” She opened her mouth to answer but got distracted by something on the wall, a dumb smile spreading across her face. Her eyes fluttered again.

“No, no, no!” You clutched her arm and slapped her considerably hard on the cheek “You stay with me! I need your name and the name of the drug!” But she wouldn’t reply, letting out a silent weak chuckle instead. Ok, asking her wasn’t going to work. You threw your hand into your pocket in search of your phone, ready to call 911, before remembering all electronics had been taken from you upon arrival.

So you did the obvious. You screamed for help as loud as you could, and hoped someone was close enough to hear it.

“Listen to me!” You shook the inmate, focusing back on the task at hand - keeping this girl alive. Her breathing was painfully slow and you her skin got colder by the minute, her lips starting to turn blue. Definitely a narcotic. “What was it? Just nod, please! I need to know this!” 

You could see her effort in trying to stay awake, and part of you wanted to believe that deep down she understood what was happening to her. That she was actually fighting to survive.

“Was it Norco? Vicodin?” You forced your brain to come up with more opiate names “Morphine? Huh? Was it Aunt Em?” This girl was so young. She was the person your parents feared you’d become. You didn’t care that she was an imprisoned criminal, you would not let her die. “Oxy? Did you take OX?”

You felt a premature wave of relief wash over you as she roughly moved her chin up and down. You knew what it was. When the paramedics came, knowing the overdosed drug would make their jobs much, much easier and they’d be able to treat her right away. Good. It would be OK.

Suddenly, she cupped her mouth and twitched her body in discomfort, a frown on her face. You instantly knew what it was. Quickly grabbing her upper body, you helped her turn sideways. Not even a second later and she was putting all of her stomach’s content on the floor. Without hesitation, you held her upper body, supporting her weight and moving your hand on her back in circles.

You knew she didn’t have much time left and would definitely pass out in a few minutes. Anxious and majorly concerned, you called for help once again, before getting back to whispering that she was gonna be fine. 

A few seconds later, an officer with an awful mustache showed up at the door. As he spotted you two on the ground, you notice his eyes changing from confusion to sheer panic, a tingle of fear playing in his expression. You narrowed your eyes but returned your attention to the girl as breathing got even more irregular.

“Why are you still standing there? Call 911!” Your voice seemed to get him out of his trance.

“W-what? No, this inmate isn’t allowed here. I’ll take her with me and fill in a report, she must’ve coerced you-” He stepped closer, already motioning to get hold of her.

You immediately put yourself between the two of them, clenching your teeth. 

“Call 911!” You insisted, glaring at him. He was playing dumb. An officer would recognize the symptoms of overdose, it’s basic knowledge in the criminal world. 

“Watch your language! You’re one of the delinquent visiting kids, you shouldn’t be here either. If you come with me now, I won’t bust you-” He tried to grab your arm. You dodged his grip, leaning the girl against a wall to stand up and get to his level. The dominant, dick, kinda guy. You knew plenty like him.

“Call. Fucking. 911.Or this girl will die and it will be on you. And I’ll make sure you get punished for it.” 

His eyes widened in caution and he took a step back. In that moment, you knew you’d won. He wouldn’t risk losing his job (or freedom, if it was up to you). Resigned, he took out his radio, speaking a few code words before looking back at you. “Hush.” He said, and you knew exactly what he meant.

“What’s her name?” You got down once more, disgusted by the officer’s behavior and obvious uncaring attitude towards the young woman.

“Tricia.” 

“Hey, Tricia” You shook her slightly until her eyes opened “Stay with me, ok? I’m (Y/N), I’m with you. You’ll be fine. You’ll be just fine.” You kept bugging her and did everything you could to keep her conscious for the next minutes.

First, Baby-face appeared, followed by two other guards. They tried to take Tricia from you, but you didn’t let them, arguing you’d only let the paramedics move her. When that didn’t work, you said you’d only reveal what drug she’d taken if they let her with you until medical help came.

You didn’t know what had made you so protective of her, maybe you saw yourself in her, maybe you didn’t trust any other officers after meeting Mustache... You just wouldn’t cool down until you saw her safe in an ambulance. The female guard, the leader of your tour, showed up right after, stubborn on getting you to go back to the bus. You repeated the same thing excuse. She wasn’t so easy to bend.

You were almost being dragged out of the room when a woman with messy blonde hair appeared on the doorstep. Her gaze traveled straight towards Tricia, and she hurriedly made her way towards you, taking the girl from your arms. You didn’t protest - you saw the love and genuine concern in her eyes.

“What the fuck, Tricia!” She whispered, holding the young adult close to her chest, tenderly. You swore you saw a silent tear strim down her face. As far as you knew, the woman hadn’t really noticed you yet. 

The paramedics came in half a minute later. While two of them managed to take Tricia from the woman and take her to the ambulance, you talked to the other one about the drug, OxyContin, a powerful and dangerous painkiller; explained her symptoms and showed him the bag of pills.

When you were done, he gave you a small smile.

“Great job, kid. You might’ve just saved a life today.” He said, before running off.

You stood there for a few seconds, still shocked about the whole situation. Next to you, the woman seemed to find herself in the same situation. She acknowledged you with a curt nod as you were being escorted out of the room.

As soon as you got home, the first thing you did was ask your parents to drive you to the hospital Tricia was in. There was no way you’d move on with your life without checking on her first.

[rikki-lynn]

(via What It’s Like to Live A Day with ADHD)

Writing about a day in the life of someone with ADHD is a tricky thing. I don't think any two of my days look alike. Adventure and (somewhat) controlled chaos are my constant companions.

As someone who runs a YouTube channel called How to ADHD, who’s engaged to someone with ADHD, who has ADHD herself, and who talks to tens of thousands of ADHD brains, I can tell you this — if you’ve met one person with ADHD, you’ve met one person with ADHD. We’re vastly different creatures.

We do have a surprising amount in common though, especially when it comes to the stuff we experience on a daily basis. Most days, it’s:

a rollercoaster of successes and failures

some moments feeling like a genius, and others feeling stupid

both distractibility and hyperfocus

good intentions gone off the rails

little emotional wounds from being judged by the outside world — or ourselves!

the healing from being understood and accepted for who we are

I hope this peek into my experience of one day with ADHD helps with that understanding.

The morning scramble

I wake up suddenly, search for my phone — what time is it??

Oh, okay. Still early.

It takes me awhile to fall back asleep — restless legs — but as soon as I do, the alarm goes off. The snooze button and I trade punches until my fiancé turns it off.

I jolt awake — what time is it now??

I scramble for my phone. 11 am.

SHOOT. Totally missed my morning yoga class, and now there’s not even time to shower. I growl at my fiancé — “why did you turn off the alarm??” — and stumble toward the dryer for clean clothes … which are still in the washer. I start a new cycle, then dig through the hamper, literally sniffing for something to wear.

I throw on semi-decent clothes, deodorant, mascara, take my meds — I’m almost out, SHOOT, gotta make an appointment to get another prescription — grab a Fiber One bar on the way out the door …

And then I run back inside to grab my phone. 11:15. YES! I’ll still make it to my meeting!

With time to spare, I run upstairs to kiss my fiancé goodbye and apologize for my morning crankiness. And I’m out the door! Woot!

I run back inside to grab my keys. 11:19. STILL GOOD!

The part where I wish time machines were a thing

As I jump on the freeway, I remember to call my psychiatrist — also that I forgot to charge my phone last night. Gotta decide between my headphones or my charger (thanks, iPhone 7).

4 percent battery? Charger wins. I wish wireless headphones were an option, but I have a hard enough time not losing regular headphones. And technically, they’re on a leash.

I try using the speakerphone but it’s too noisy on the freeway, so I hold the phone up to my ear as I call. The receptionist says there’s only one appointment available before my meds run out — do I want it? “Um … let me check my calendar … ”

Shoot. It’s the same time as coffee with Anna. This would be the second time in a row I’ve canceled on her. Not much choice though.

I’ll make it up to her, I vow … somehow.

I bring the phone back to my ear and see police lights in my rearview mirror. I panic and wonder how long they’ve been following me. The receptionist is halfway through confirming my appointment — I hang up and pull over.

One policeman eyes the dirty plates on my passenger side floor — I call these my car dishes — as the other hands me a ticket. As soon as they turn away, I start bawling. But I’m very aware I deserved it and weirdly grateful for being called out. I’ll definitely drive safer from now on.

Wait, 11:45?!

I get back on the road and check Waze obsessively to see whether I can make up for lost time. I drive faster, but Waze is annoyingly accurate. Eight minutes late as predicted.

Well, not terrible … you don’t really need to call unless you’ll be more than 15 minutes late, right?

Except I still needed to park … and fix my mascara … and walk over.

12:17. Ugh, I should’ve called. “SO sorry I’m late!”

My friend is unfazed. I can’t decide if I’m grateful he isn’t annoyed, or depressed that he expected it.

I tell him that, half joking. But he takes me seriously and says, “I used to have trouble with that, too. So now I just leave early.”

But this is what I hear: “I can do it, why can’t you?”

I don’t know. I try. It never seems to work out. I don’t get it either.

He starts pitching an internet project he wants me to write and I’m having trouble focusing. I’m doing a good job of pretending, though. I’ve got the thoughtful nod down.

Plus, my meds should kick in soon … Seriously though, does he have to talk that slow?

I see a server hand someone a check and I wonder how much my ticket was for. When do I have to pay it by? Do I have to pay by check? Do I even HAVE checks anymore? Wait, did I set up autopay for my new credit card?

I’ve missed half of what he’s saying. Oops. I start playing with my spinner ring to ground my attention. Focusing gets easier, but this doesn’t look as good as the thoughtful nod. I can tell he’s wondering if I’m listening now. Ah, the irony.

Honestly, this project sounds cool. But something feels off — I don’t know what. I have good instincts, but I’m kinda new at this whole “success” thing. I failed pretty regularly the first decade of my adult life.

It’s weird being successful enough that other people want to work with you. It’s even weirder having to decide whether or not they get to.

I awkwardly end the meeting.

Back on schedule — let’s try to keep it that way

I check my bullet journal, the only planner I’ve ever been able to sort of stick to, to see what’s next. Research from 2 to 5pm, dinner 5 to 6pm, writing 6 to 9pm, relax 9 to 11:30pm, bed by midnight. Totally doable.

My meds are in full effect, my focus is good, so I decide to head back home and start early. I should maybe eat lunch, but I’m not hungry. The table next to me orders fries. Fries sound good.

I eat fries.

On my way home, my friend calls. I don’t answer. I tell myself it’s because I don’t want to get another ticket, but I know it’s because I don’t want to disappoint him. Maybe I should do his project. It was a cool idea.

Back home, I cuddle up with a soft blanket, and start researching — and realize why I didn’t want to do the project. I reach for my phone and can’t find it. The hunt begins — and ends with me giving up and using the Find My iPhone feature. A loud beeping emerges from my blanket.

I call my friend. He answers. Does anyone else find that slightly weird? I almost never answer when people call. Especially if I might not like what they have to say. Call it phone anxiety, but a text to announce a phone call is the only way to get me to pick up — maybe.

But he answers, so I tell him why I don’t want to write his project: “Because YOU should write it!” I tell him what he said that made me realize it and walk him through how to get started. Now he’s excited. I know he’ll crush at this. I feel successful for the first time today.

Maybe I do know what I’m doing. Maybe I — I hang up and see what time it is. 3:45.

Oops. I’m supposed to be researching dyslexia for an episode.

I throw myself into the research until my alarm goes off at 5, reminding me to stop for dinner. But there’s stuff I still don’t understand yet. Ehhh, I’ll just keep going until 6.

It’s 7 and I’m starving. I grab way too much food — wait, wait.

I bring the food to my desk and begin typing furiously: “Turn ‘reading with dyslexia’ into a game …”

I write half the episode.

I get a better idea.

I start working on that one — WAIT — laundry! Not gonna beat me THIS time!

Switching the clothes to the dryer, I realize my workout clothes aren’t in there. Argh, I missed today so I have to go tomorrow or I’m not gonna feel good.

I grab my yoga pants and a bunch of other clothes off the floor of pretty much every room in the house and start a new load. I remember to set a timer!

I sit back down to write, but the idea doesn’t seem as great now.

Or maybe I don’t really remember it.

ADHD, the after hours

I can tell my meds are wearing off. It’s getting harder to hold all the thoughts in my brain while I work with them. The page in front of me is a random tangle of words. I’m getting frustrated.

The timer goes off. I gotta change the laundry — except the dryer’s still going.

I set the timer for another 10 minutes and head to the couch to hang upside down and try to get my brain to work.

Upside down, I remember I’m trying to get better about work-life balance and wonder if I should stop, even though I haven’t gotten much done. But tomorrow’s super busy, especially now that I have to work out, and — BZZZ.

I race back to the laundry room, take a corner too sharply and run into the wall, bounce off, grab the dry clothes, dump them on my bed, switch over the wet ones, and start the dryer. I race back and check the clock. 9:48.

Okay, I’ll keep working, but I’ll stop at 10:30. And fold the laundry. And relax.

10:30 comes and goes. I find a way back into that idea and I’m in a flow. I can’t stop. This is hyperfocus, and it can be both a blessing and a curse for those of us with ADHD. I write and write, and rewrite and rewrite, until my fiancé comes to check on me and finds me passed out in front of the computer.

He carries me upstairs, sees the pile of clothes on the bed, pushes them aside, and tucks me in. I promise to do better tomorrow, to make more time for us. And to fold the clothes.

He kisses me and tells me that clothes are just clothes, but the stuff we make lasts forever.

I hug him, hard. And see the time over his shoulder — it’s 3am. I’m gonna have to choose between sleep and yoga. Tomorrow’s gonna be another scramble.

Written by Jessica McCabe on July 27, 2017

[obsessive-fics]

Title: Don’t it Feel Good? 

Rating: T 

Word Count: 7597

Summary:  “I mean, we’re just having fun right? It doesn’t have to be complicated,” Dan explains quickly. “Fun?” “Just fun, nothing else.” “… Okay. But if either of us wants to stop, for any reason, then that’s it,” Phil says, finally. Or, the FWB fic with none of the smut, all of the angst, and a ridiculously happy ending

Warnings: Implied sexual content, Steven Universe spoilers

A/N: Thank you so much to @yourfriendlyblogstalker for beta’ing this for me, you’re the best! And to @snowbunnylester to giving me the courage to write this in the first place 

[Read on Ao3]  

It starts with a bottle of tequila, because of course it does. They’re sitting on the couch getting drunk like bored uni students and laughing at YouTube videos that won’t be as funny in the morning.

Dan’s brain feels fuzzy in the way that means he’ll definitely be hungover in the morning, but right now it’s the best feeling ever. He feels light, airy, like everything is right with the world. He wonders how Phil is feeling.

“Phil?” He calls, turning to his best friend.

“Yeah?”

“How do you feel right now?” he asks curiously.

“Good,” Phil answers with a lazy smile.

"Good.”

Dan kind of really wants to kiss him. He used to be able to do that whenever he wanted. He can’t now though. Why is that? He tries to remember what’s preventing him from doing the one thing he wants to do most right now, but nothing comes to mind. Whatever the reason can’t be that important, Dan decides. Phil is sitting next to him, gorgeous as ever, even with the harsh light of the tv illuminating him in flashes, and Dan wants to kiss him.

So he does. It’s quick, just a peck, and he barely has time to panic about it before Phil is kissing him back. They fall back on the couch, and Dan feels like they should probably talk about this and what exactly it means, but Phil is doing things with his mouth that’s making it really hard to think, let alone talk.

“What do you want?” Phil asks, with an intensity Dan has never heard from him.

What does he want? He’s still in shock that he’s here, with Phil’s gorgeous blue eyes boring into him in a way he’s already growing addicted to.

“You,” he breathes before his brain can catch up with his mouth.

“Okay.” Phil takes a moment to smile at him softly and then they’re kissing again.

“My room or yours?” Phil asks, pulling away a few minutes later when it’s clear they absolutely cannot continue this here.  

“Um… Yours,” Dan decides, and then they’re hurrying to the room, drunk and uncoordinated, giggling and tripping over each other.

The next morning, Dan wakes up with a splitting headache. Unpleasant, but expected. He sighs and goes to roll over to check his phone, only to realize he can’t. Phil is sprawled out on top of him, fast asleep. He looks at peace in a way that fills Dan with a rush of affection he hasn’t felt since the days he used to stay up late watching his videos.

“I can feel you staring at me, you know,” Phil says, eyes still closed.

“Oh! Sorry, didn’t realize you were awake. I guess it’s creepy either way though, isn’t it?” Dan asks, but Phil just laughs and shakes his head.

“I’m gonna go shower, you coming?” He asks, climbing out of bed. Dan is up before he can even give it a second thought.

They’re standing in the shower when Dan finally works up the nerve to ask exactly what’s happening between them right now.

“I feel like we should talk about last night. Because as um… fun as that was, I don’t know where we go from here,” he explains, hoping that having a conversation about this whole thing will make it all make sense.

“Just don’t think about it,” Phil says, and then drops to his knees, effectively ending any and all conversation.

Eventually, Dan can’t take it anymore. They’re eating breakfast after a very long shower when he pauses the show they’re watching and steels himself for an extremely awkward conversation.

“I can’t just ‘not think about’ this. I know I technically started it, but… I need to know where your head is, before we do something we regret,” he says, carefully.

“It’s just… you’re my best friend, and I don’t want to ruin that…” Phil replies, trailing off and looking down.

“You’re my best friend too,” Dan reassures him immediately, because no matter how long it’s been, sometimes it just needs to be said. “This doesn’t ruin that at all.”

“It doesn’t?” Phil asks, sounding skeptical.

“Of course not. It’s not like we’ve never done this before,” Dan reminds him. They don’t talk about that time, when they first met and couldn’t keep their hands off each other, pretty much ever, but if ever there was a time to bring it up, it would be now.

“I know, but that was different.”

“How?”

“Nevermind. I liked my original idea of not thinking about this,” Phil says, shaking his head.

“Okay, okay. That doesn’t mean we have to stop though, does it?” Dan asks, an idea already forming in his head. An idea he might grow to regret later, but right now he can’t get the previous night out of his mind, and he’d kind of like to repeat it. Several times. In every room.

“What?” Phil asks, shocked.

“I mean, we’re just having fun right? It doesn’t have to be complicated,” Dan explains quickly, snapping out of his day dream.

“Fun?”

“Just fun, nothing else.”

“… Okay. But if either of us wants to stop, for any reason, then that’s it,” Phil says, finally.

“That’s it,” Dan agrees, pressing play on the TV. And if he scoots a little closer first, it’s just because the heating isn’t working too well that day, that’s all.

Something shifts between them after that. They’ve always been abnormally close, but it’s different now. Their viewers notice it too, the way they drift closer together in videos and tease each other with a fondness that wasn’t quite there before. Dan feels like this should worry him more than it does.

As far as the sex goes, it’s frequent, and amazing. They’ve defiled several rooms in the house. Still though, Dan can’t help but feel like something is missing. Every time Phil leaves him alone afterwards, it makes him feel empty, and he can’t quite figure out why.

He’s in the kitchen trying to sort out his feelings and wondering if they should reinstate ground rules for filming when he feels arms wrap around him from behind.

“Good morning.”

“I think you might be getting addicted to this. You should get that checked out,” Dan teases, turning around.

“Really?” Phil answers with a smirk before kissing him.

“Mmhm.”

“And what does that make you?”

“A huge enabler,” Dan replies, returning his smirk and pulling him closer.

Dan’s on the counter, one hand in Phil’s hair, the other in his back pocket when his phone rings.

“Ignore it,” he says immediately leaning back in, but whoever’s calling clearly doesn’t want to be ignored. As soon as the ringing stops, it starts again.

“You should probably get that.”

Dan inwardly curses every god he can think of and answers the phone.

“Finally! For someone who claims to never put their phone down, you’re pretty hard to reach,” Louise says in lieu of greeting.

“Hi Louise. To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I’m having a party Friday night and I know you’re gonna try and get out of it, but this is a big night for me. I want you there, both of you,” Louise tells him, leaving no room for argument.

“Sure! Of-of course we will,” Dan manages to answer, which is an impressive feat, considering what Phil’s hands are doing right now.

“Good. Hey, are you okay? You sound a little strained.” Louise wonders, sounding concerned.

“I’m fine. I just… bumped into something. See you Friday, then?” Dan replies, and then hangs up as soon as possible.

“How is Louise?” Phil asks, smiling up at him innocently, and oh is Dan going to get him for this. Eventually. Right now, there are much, much more pressing matters to attend to.

“Fine,” is all he says before crashing their lips together desperately.

The party is in full swing when they arrive, guests milling about and making small talk. Louise greets them at the door, ever the perfect hostess.

“So glad you could make it! Thank you for coming,” she says, leading them to the coat closet.  

“Wouldn’t miss it,” they assure her, going to hang their coats up.

“You guys are about three seconds from literally becoming one person,” Louise says, looking between the two of them.

“I think we’d make a pretty good fusion,” Phil jokes good naturedly, an automatic response to anyone commenting on their perceived closeness.

“Sure. Well, make yourselves at home. There’s no one in the kitchen and there’s lots of food,” she says, knowingly, disappearing further into the house to resume her role as hostess. They drift towards the kitchen immediately; there will be  plenty of time to socialize later, once they’ve filled up on free food and cheap champagne.

They’re leaning against the counter, staring at their phones and sharing a giant bowl of popcorn when Christa walks in. She’s a friend of Louise that Dan may or may not have made out with at a party he’d been dragged to while Phil was away visiting his family. He also may have had entirely too much to drink and stopped everything to tell her how empty the house feels when Phil isn’t home. The details are more than a little fuzzy, but judging by the way Christa is smirking at him she remembers a lot more of it than he does.

“Thought I’d find you in here,” she says, brightly, opening the fridge and pulling out a six pack of smirnoff ice.

“Um, hi,” Dan squeaks out, before realizing he still has a mouthful of popcorn, but Christa has stopped paying attention to him completely. He watches helplessly as she introduces herself to his best friend, standing too close and laughing too loud until he physically cannot stand it any longer.

“I’m gonna go…” he trails off, and once he realizes no one is listening to him, sulks off. He’s stopped by several friends on his way to find a quiet corner to mope in, all wanting to know how he’s been and what he’s been up to. He tries to be amicable, to answer the correct way, but he’s never been good at hiding when he’s in a bad mood, and there’s only so many times he can watch people try to mask the surprise when they see him by himself. Eventually everyone stops trying and he’s able to find the perfect spot leaning against the wall by the door. He has twitter open and ready, trying to decide the perfect way to complain about this situation without being obvious, when Phil finds him.

“Where’s Christa?” he bites without looking up.

“Are you gonna tell me what you’re sulking about or do you want to just go home?” Phil asks, ignoring the question completely. Dan finds himself temporarily at a loss for words. He can be a little short when he’s socially exhausted and he knows for a fact Phil doesn’t like doing the heavy lifting it takes to get them out of a conversation. He’d kind of been expecting a fight.

“Aren’t you mad? I just left you alone with her,” he asks, confused.

“I mean, no? It was super awkward and she kept touching my arm, which was weird, and then when I said I was going to go check on you she looked kind of sad about it? Which also doesn’t make any sense, but it was fine,” Phil explains with a shrug. He’s so oblivious that Dan finds himself torn between wanting to laugh or kiss him before realizing that he absolutely cannot do either of those things here. He risks a quick glance into the house to make sure he won’t be overheard. Then,

“Coat closet. Now.”

The door has barely closed behind them before Dan is pushing Phil against the wall, kissing him harshly.

“Dan?” Phil asks, pulling away slightly.

“Mine,” is all the explanation he offers, before moving his attention to his neck, trying his best to ignore the instinct to mark him up completely.

“Yours,” Phil agrees, breathlessly, and Dan feels like he’s going to fall apart right then and there. Instead, he just fists his hand in his hair and pulls him closer.

It’s frantic and sloppy, and they keep having to bite each other’s shoulders to keep quiet, but something about it is perfect. Every utterance of “mine” is met with an immediate “yours” and Dan kind of wants time to stop, for this moment, just the two of them, to be all that exists. Unfortunately, that’s not even slightly possible.

“We should get back,” Phil whispers, but neither of them make any attempt to move.

“I know. Don’t want to, though.”

Phil looks at him the way he always does when he wants to say something, but seems to change his mind at the last minute.

“Me neither,” he says instead, and steps away. Dan sighs, and checks to make sure everything is in place in the coat closet, then cracks the door open to make sure no one can see them. Part of him wants to take Phil’s hand, to make it known to everyone here that this is his person, except he’s not, not really, and Dan can’t figure out why that makes his chest feel tight. He shakes the thought out of his head, best not to dwell on it now, and steps out of the closet.

Louise eyes them curiously when they rejoin the party, but mercifully decides not to comment. They make the rounds the way they usually do, catching up with everyone they haven’t seen, and once the amount of people dies down a little bit they join in a round of Cards Against Humanity. It’s nice actually, reconnecting with everyone, and by the time they leave they’re pleasantly buzzed and Dan is in a much better mood than when they arrived. It would’ve been a really great night if Dan didn’t have such a talent for self sabotage.

“You really didn’t realize Christa was flirting with you?” he asks. They’re in the kitchen looking for a quick snack before bed, and he can’t get the question out of his mind.

“She was?”

“Well, yeah. She seemed really into you,” Dan says, trying to keep his tone neutral. He’s not sure why he cares so much, needs to be reassured that this person he has absolutely no claim over actively chose hooking up with him in a closet and didn’t just not realize there was an alternative.

“That’s nice. Marshmallows?” Phil suggests holding up the bag.

“Sure. Did you like her?” Dan presses, taking the knife to cut the bag open.

“She was nice,” Phil replies, noncommittally, taking a handful of marshmallows.

“It’s okay if you did, you know. If you wanted to like… date,” Dan says. Lies, really. Just the thought of that makes him nauseous. Phil just stares at him, incredulous.

“I’m just saying. I know we’re doing this, um… thing now. But if you wanted to find someone, we could stop,” Dan suggests, avoiding eye contact. What he’s saying makes sense, he knows it does, but it literally pains him to say it.

“I don’t want to ‘find someone.’ God, Dan- you know, for someone so smart, you can be such an idiot sometimes,” Phil snaps, sounding exhausted.

“… What?”

“No. I’m not talking about this right now. Good night,” Phil calls over his shoulder, already on the way to his room. Dan watches him go, feeling more confused than ever.

“I’m going away for a few days,” Phil announces the next morning. He’s staring intently into his second cup of coffee, a clear sign he’s more stressed than usual. Dan goes through all the things they need to do in the next few days; their lease is almost up, so there’s that to worry about, there are a couple of gaming videos that need to be edited, but that isn’t out of the ordinary for them.

“Is this about last night?” Dan asks, hesitantly.

“No. Yes. Kind of. I’m just… I’m gonna go see my family. Will you be okay here by yourself?”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.”

“Okay. Okay, I’m gonna go pack.”

“Wait!”

“Yeah?”

“Come have breakfast and play something with me before you leave?”

“Sure, Dan.”

Dan feels Phil’s absence the minute he leaves. He tries a few video games, but they aren’t quite as fun without all the sabotage and controller biting. Every time he sees something funny on Tumblr he starts to hold out his phone before realizing there’s no one there to laugh with him. He’s never considered himself a codependent person, time alone usually feels like a weight being lifted off his shoulders.

Now it feels empty, like he’s missing a part of himself. He even finds himself watching their old videos, equal parts fond and horrified of the people they used to be. They were so young then,  so unsure of what the future would hold, if it was a mistake to be putting all of their eggs in one basket when no one really understood what being a YouTuber was yet. Dan had been so adamant about forging a path for himself, being sure that he had a career on his own first, just in case. That was why nothing could happen between them despite… despite everything that already had.

He wonders when everything got so complicated, and why their solution had been to just not talk about it until it stopped being complicated. He watches their last ‘Phil is Not on fire’ video, watches the way they make each other laugh, how at ease he is, how they both are, and then nearly drops his laptop when he realizes it. He’s in love with Phil. He probably always has been. And he spent the previous night trying to convince him that he should go find someone else. Shit.

Dan unlocks and locks his phone about twelve times, trying to decide who the best person to call about something like this is. Eventually he gives in and calls Tyler. He needs someone with a little bit of distance from the situation.

“Not that I’m not happy to hear from you, but um, why are you calling me?” Tyler asks sounding confused. They’re friends, but they’re not exactly fight time difference to have long and meaningful conversations close. First time for everything.

“I need your advice about something,” Dan says, slowly.

“This should be good, so what’s up? Boys? Girls? Friend drama? Family drama?” Tyler asks, sounding way too amused about this.

“It’s… well…”

“Oh my God, wait, have you been reading fanfiction about yourself again? I told you, that is a rabbit hole you never come out of.”

“No, no, it’s not that. It’s serious. Possibly life changing,” Dan tries to explain, but he’s not sure he can say the words out loud yet.

“Did you and Phil drunkenly get married at a Casino? Does that happen over there?”

“What? No, it’s just that… I might be kind of in love with him,” he admits. Finally.

“I know you’re having a crisis, so I’m not going to say any of the things I’m thinking right now,” is the first thing Tyler says, after what sounds like a suspiciously sarcastic gasp.

“I don’t know what to do here. Everything’s so good between us right now, or at least it was until last night-” Dan starts to say, but is immediately cut off.

“Last night? What happened last night?” Tyler asks, urgently.

“I’m glad someone’s enjoying this.”

“Hey, you wanted advice, I need details. Go on, spill.”

Dan sighs and explains everything that happened; the arrangement, Christa, the coat closet, their sort of fight. He has to pause several times while Tyler squeals or prods for more detail, but eventually he gets it all out.

“You should tell him how you feel,” Tyler says, far too excitedly.

“I can’t do that!” Dan protests, immediately, because that would be a complete disaster.

“Why not?” Tyler challenges.

“Because I’ve had the chance to. Several times. And every time I completely freeze up, and then we pretend nothing happened,” Dan explains, wearily.

Tyler is silent for a moment. Then, “How long, exactly, have you two been playing this game?”

“… A few years, now.”

“And have either of you been with anyone else this whole time?”

“Not seriously, no.”

“Then I don’t see what the problem is. You’re in love, both of you. One of you just has to stop waiting for the other person to admit it,” Tyler points out,  and he sounds so sure of it.

Dan wants so desperately to believe him, that his feelings are mutual and Phil hasn’t grown tired of waiting for him all this time. And even if they are on the same page emotionally, will that be enough? What if he’s completely pushed Phil away this time and he’s decided they’re better off apart anyway? He just… He can’t risk it. Not right now. Not when everything has been so perfect. They’re good the way they are, there’s no need to change anything. Phil will come back from his parent’s house, he’ll apologize for last night, and then they can go back to normal. He realizes halfway through this plan that he’s still on the phone.

“You know what? I think I know what I’m gonna do. Thanks Tyler,” he says brightly.

“Um… Sure, I guess. Whatever happens, you’re always gonna be best friends, remember that,” Tyler replies, and somehow that’s exactly what Dan needs to hear right now. Feelings or not, he’s never going to lose Phil. He thanks Tyler again, before hanging up and going to find something to keep him distracted until he can put his plan into action.

Three days later, Dan’s on the couch watching a movie he’s seen a billion times when he hears the door open. He’s torn between throwing himself at Phil the minute he sees him and staying glued to this spot, pretending he didn’t miss him at all. They’ve called and skyped and texted almost constantly, neither of them being able to hold up the pretense that they can go more than one day without talking to the other. Still, as nostalgic and wonderful as skyping for hours is, it pales in comparison to actually being able to occupy the same space.

“Dan?”

“In here!”

For some reason Dan thought Phil would look different now that he’s realized he’s in love with him, but he looks exactly the same. His glasses are crooked and his hair is sticking up from sleeping on the train. There is absolutely nothing new there. It’s perfect.

“How was home?” Dan asks, once he realizes he’s just been sitting and staring this entire time.

“Good. Everyone says hi,” Phil says, just like he says every time he returns from visiting his family alone. Which has become increasingly more rare, and that fills Dan with a warmth he definitely doesn’t want to think too hard about right now.

“You wanna watch the last ten minutes of this movie before you unpack?” he offers instead.

“You read my mind,” Phil says, throwing himself down on the couch. Neither of them bring up the sort of argument that lead to Phil going away in the first place. They just watch the movie, the same as they always do, and everything seems to fall back into place after that.

“We’re okay, right?” Dan finally asks later that night while they’re cleaning up the pizza they ordered.

“Yeah, of course we are. Why?”

“Just making sure.”

“Okay. Do you want to watch the new Steven Universe special?”

An hour later, they’re staring at the tv in shock. They’re definitely both crying a little bit, a mixture of heartbreak, relief, and just pure surprise.

“… Lars just fucking died ,” Dan whispers, finally.

“Definitely didn’t expect that to get so dark,” Phil agrees.

“One minute he’s baking and everything is great and the next he’s dead and stranded on a foreign planet away from all his friends and family,” Dan says, still completely in shock.

“The off colored gems will take care of him.”

“Not gonna stop until I see the bright side of this, are you?” Dan teases.

“Nope,” Phil agrees, grinning at him, and Dan doesn’t think he’s ever felt more in love than he does at this moment. He can’t say that though, so he just kisses him instead.

“What was that for?”

“Missed you,” is all Dan offers before leaning back in.

“I missed you, too,” Phil replies, and pulls back slightly. Dan can tell there’s more to that statement, the beginning of a conversation he does not want to have right now. Or possibly ever.

“Glad we sorted that out. Now can we please stop talking?”

They’re in Phil’s room, sleepy and sated, and Dan has never wanted to get out of bed less in his entire life. He wants to stay here, wants to pretend for a moment that he followed Tyler’s advice, and that this is their normal now. He  briefly considers it, thinks I’m so fucking in love with you you have no idea as loudly as he can and imagines Phil can read his mind.

“You okay?” Phil asks, because he may not be able to hear his thoughts, but he can always tell when they’re loud. Dan ponders the question probably for longer than he should. This whole arrangement was his idea, a result of drunk him realizing things he’d never allow himself to think about sober. He doesn’t particularly want to stop this either, it’s just… gonna be harder to hide his feelings than he thought. Still, maybe he can have tonight.

“Can I stay here tonight?” he asks, instead, choosing to ignore the question completely.

“Yeah,” Phil answers after a minute. Then, “You have to get up to turn off the light though.”

“You should turn out the light, it’s your room,” Dan says, but he’s already climbing out of bed.

“Nooo, it’s too late I’m already comfortable,” Phil whines dramatically, sprawling himself across the bed. Dan just laughs and turns off the light before throwing himself down on top of him.

“Oh my God, you weigh like a trillion kilos, get off,” Phil protests almost immediately, but the smile in his voice gives him away.

“Do not,” Dan argues, but he moves, anyway, so he’s only partially on top of him. This is nice. Really nice. Yeah, he can have tonight.  

Dan wakes up alone. It’s okay, he tries to tell himself. It’s for the best . Sleeping in the same bed after blurs lines that have been drawn for a reason. That doesn’t stop him from reaching out and pulling Phil’s pillow close though. He stays like that for a minute, memorizing every detail of this moment, before deciding he should probably get up and face reality.

Phil is in the kitchen, fully dressed, and making pancakes. He’s humming quietly to himself, and Dan almost doesn’t want to shatter the moment. Except that he’s starving and the food smells amazing.

“Good morning. Any of that ready to eat yet?” he asks, leaning against the counter.

“Almost. Grab me a plate?” Phil requests, without looking up, and they settle into the familiar routine of preparing a meal together. When they’re done, Dan grabs up a plate for each of them, fully ready to start an anime and leave the mess in the kitchen for later, but Phil stops him.

“Wait- I think- I… I have to talk to you,” he says, staring determinedly at their pancakes.

“Can we at least sit down first?”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Dining table?” Phil suggests, taking his plate out of Dan’s hands.

“Okay…”

They sit at the dining room table in silence. Dan watches Phil, tries to figure out what was so important they had to talk about it immediately, but his face is giving absolutely nothing away. He’s really good at that when he wants to be.

“Phil?” Dan says, finally, reaching out to touch his shoulder.

“I have a question for you, and I don’t want you to get mad, okay?”

“Nothing you say could make me mad,” Dan says, automatically, and then, in an attempt to lighten that statement, adds, “Unless you somehow tripped and disconnected all of our wifi.”

“Okay, well, you know how our lease is up soon?” Phil starts, and Dan feels like he’s been doused with cold water.

“You’re not going to move out, are you?”

“No! Maybe… I just- we’ve outgrown this place. And I’d like to grow into a new place, with you. But I worry you don’t want that,” Phil explains, looking over at him hesitantly.

“Why wouldn’t I want that?”

“Because! You were the one pushing me to go ‘find someone.’ And sometimes I think you’re just here because it’s easy, you know? We’re already closer than most people, and now we’re fucking- again. And I just can’t take another round of you getting bored of me. So if this is just all for your convenience, I think we should talk about moving.” Phil shrugs afterwards, tries to pretend that it wasn’t hard for him to say all of that, but that’s an action Dan can see through immediately. He’s been thinking about this for awhile, or at least since the day he went away.

“I don’t… I don’t get bored of you,” is all Dan can think of to say, because he feels like there’s something else, an implication, but he can’t tell if it’s really there or just wishful thinking on his part.

“Don’t, okay? You know what I mean,” Phil says, shrinking away before Dan can even think of reaching out for him.

“Things are good right now, aren’t they? Do you really want to change that?”

“Your definition of good and mine are apparently two different things. We’ll talk about this later,” Phil decides, standing up and taking his breakfast with him.

Dan stares after him, dumbstruck. He wants to follow him, to beg him not to leave, to tell him he’d do anything to get him to stay here… Except he knows he’s right. They outgrew this place awhile ago. There’s really nothing keeping them here except the attachment their viewers have to seeing familiar backgrounds, recognizing shared possessions stuffed in every shelf. This place has been home for so long, but Dan knows it’ll stop feeling like home immediately if Phil leaves.  

“Phil? I brought cereal,” Dan calls, knocking on the door gently. He doesn’t really have a plan here, all he knows is that he has to fix this, somehow.

“… Come in,” Phil answers, after a minute. He’s on his laptop, an episode of Buffy paused on the tv. If Dan didn’t know any better, it would seem like any other day. But he does know better though, or at least he thought he did. Their conversation earlier has been replaying in his head all day, and he’s still not sure what he’s supposed to say here.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Dan says, hovering in the doorway with a box of cereal held out in front of him like a white flag.

“Is that all?” Phil asks, without looking up from his laptop.

“No. I don’t want you to leave… without me,” he finishes, resolutely.

“Go on,” Phil replies, holding a hand out. Dan hands him the box of cereal and sits down at the edge of the bed.

“You were right earlier, we have outgrown this place. And I’d like nothing more than to grow into a new place with you. We can get a real estate agent and everything,” Dan offers, fidgeting with a loose thread in the comforter.

“Why?” Phil asks after a moment, and Dan can’t help but think this is an conversation is entirely too intense to be having with someone eating cereal out of the box.

“What do you mean ‘why?’ Because it’s what we want, isn’t it?” he wonders, looking up for the first time since he sat down.

“I think… I think you know exactly what I want, and even after all this time, you’re still too scared to admit that you want it too,” Phil tells him, fixing him with an intense look. There are a million things Dan wants to say, questions he wants to ask, but he has no idea where to start. It’s not like Phil to talk in circles around something, but here they are. His statement is loaded, a puzzle he’s handed Dan to solve, but all Dan can bring himself to do is sit and stare.

“Just… just go , Dan,” Phil sighs, after what feels like an eternity of silence.

“No, I can’t.” He’s not sure why, but leaving this room now feels like the absolute worst thing he could do.

“I don’t want to see you right now,” Phil replies, evenly.

“Okay, fine. Tell me what’s really on your mind, and I’ll leave,” Dan decides, before crossing his arms stubbornly.

“Forget it. Please, just go,” Phil asks again, but Dan has made up his mind about this. He’s not leaving this room until he knows exactly what’s going on with them. How they went from being happy together (well, not together) to sitting here, at a standstill.

“I’m not going anywhere, not until you-” Phil cuts him off, tackling him into the mattress. Dan wants to protest, to point out that they were in the middle of what felt like a pretty important conversation. But they’re kissing now, open mouthed and rough, and the feeling is so new, he almost forgets they were talking at all. His hands are pinned up above him, and his brain has gone foggy with want.

“What was that?” he asks, breathless, after Phil pulls away.

“I want you. Now.” Is the only explanation offered. Dan kind of  feels like he’s just trying to delay the conversation, but Phil is straddling him, staring down with a look he’s never seen before, and he decides talking can wait.

“Okay,” Dan says, moving to sit up to pull Phil to him, but he shakes his head, pinning Dan to the mattress again.

“We’re doing this my way,” Phil says, and there’s absolutely no way Dan is going to argue with that.

“Yes,” he says, nodding feverently, and by the end of the night he’s pretty sure he’s said that word enough for it to lose all meaning.

Dan wakes up the next morning sore and disoriented. He’s not in his room. He sits up and looks around, the previous night coming back to him in vivid flashbacks. Wow, he thinks, tracing the marks on his chest and wrists absently. It takes him about another minute to realize Phil is not there, and he shoots out of bed as fast as he can, hoping he’s still home.

Phil, thankfully, is home, and Dan finds him sat fully dressed watching tv.

“I want to talk. And I mean really talk, not argue and then have really hot, angry sex,” Dan declares in a rush before he can lose his nerve.

“I know,” Phil answers, sounding resigned, “Do you want to shower and eat breakfast first though?”

“… Yes, actually. Be right back.”

Thirty minutes later, they’re sitting next to each other, looking down into empty bowls.

“So, are you ever going to tell me what was going on with you last night? Not that I’m complaining, but I know something’s bothering you,” Dan says, finally, realizing if he doesn’t start this conversation it might not happen at all.

“I was frustrated, I guess,” Phil starts, putting his bowl down on the coffee table.

“No kidding,” Dan interjects with a smirk.

“Not like that! You just kept saying things you thought I wanted to hear, and I couldn’t take it anymore,” Phil explains, suddenly very focused on the floor.

“So your solution was to jump me?” Dan wonders, confused.

“I thought it might be the last time I’d be able to,” Phil tells him with a shrug, but his explanation is only serving to make Dan more confused.

“What gave you that idea? I’d let you do that every day if you wanted,” he half jokes in an attempt to dissipate some of the tension in the room. It doesn’t work.

“I can’t do this anymore, Dan. It hurts too much,” Phil admits, sounding broken.

“If you wanted to stop, we could have,” Dan reminds him. This conversation is veering into terrain he’s not even remotely equipped for.

“That’s the thing, though. I don’t want to stop. I want to wake up next to you in the morning, and I want to hold you while you sleep, and I want to kiss you just to kiss you. And it was easier to pretend to not want those things before we let everything get all blurry again,” Phil tells him, dejectedly, and suddenly everything makes sense, all the fighting, the talking in circles, it’s all lead them here, to this moment. Dan hopes he’s reading this correctly and takes a deep breath.

“I’m sorry.” Phil looks at him quizzically, but he keeps going, he has to keep going before he loses his nerve. “I’m sorry it took me this long to realize how in love with you I am. I’m sorry I kept fighting it, and made you think that I don’t want those things, because I do. I really do.”

“Can you… Can you say that again?” Phil asks, looking shell shocked.

“I am completely, without a doubt, one hundred percent in love with you,” Dan says, proudly. It feels like a weight being lifted off his shoulders, the ability to finally admit that, and the way Phil’s face lights up when he says it makes the whole thing completely worth it.

“I love you too, you idiot,” Phil replies, shoving him.

“Ow! What was that for?” Dan asks, rubbing his arm.

“For jerking me around all these years!” Phil exclaims, and then, realizing he can now, pulls Dan’s arm around him and curls into his side.

“I’m sorry,” Dan says again, because every attempt to protect himself only hurt Phil more and that was the last thing he ever wanted to do to his best friend.

“No more apologizing. We’re gonna have to talk about labels and who to tell and all that serious stuff, but right now, I want to cuddle and watch an anime,” Phil replies, waving him off.

“Okay. Okay, we can definitely do that,” Dan agrees. He plants a soft kiss on Phil’s forehead for good measure, and the answering smile he gets is one he’s definitely going to try to make appear every single day.

-Three Months Later-

“We did it,” Phil announces, happily, looking around. All of their stuff is packed up and ready to go the moment the moving guys arrive.

“This is so weird. I barely recognize this place anymore,” Dan muses, looking at the now bare walls. They’d spent years turning this into a home and now they’re going to start again from scratch. The idea both terrifies and excites him.

“I think it’s the perfect time for a change. Besides, I know how excited you are to start interior designing,” Phil teases, nudging him.

“That’s true. Think we have time for a Starbucks run before everyone gets here?”

“As long as we don’t forget we have stuff to do and stay there for three hours again.”

“I think we can manage.”

Two and a half hours later, they’re sprinting to get home before the movers get there. Dan doesn’t know how it happens, how they never run out of things to talk or laugh about, how the whole world disappears whenever they’re together. It’s the one thing that’s stayed constant all the years they’ve known each other and it makes Dan feel at ease in the best way. 

“We made it. We have about ten minutes to catch our breath,” Phil says, looking down at the clock on his phone.

“Perfect,” Dan sighs, flopping down on the couch.

Twenty minutes later, the movers are standing around in the kitchen, drinking out of brightly colored mugs and showing Phil pictures of their children. He’d insisted they have something to drink before they got started, and Dan should be annoyed because now they’re going to have to wash and pack all of those mugs a second time. But as it is, all he feels is enamoured.

A bright, warm affection he’s been suppressing for years washes over him, and it feels so much better to bask in it, to see Phil blush and look away when he catches him staring. He’d be perfectly content to just sit back and admire Phil’s ability to make anyone feel at home, dividing his attention between each person perfectly, but it’s getting late, and the movers have families to get to. They thank them for being so hospitable, and get straight to work.

“God, I hate moving.” Dan announces that night after they’ve finally made the bed and can lay down for the first time all day.

“I know, me too. But it’s over, we did it,” Phil reminds him, wasting no time crawling into bed.

“But there are so many boxes,” Dan points out, gesturing to the boxes currently filling up every empty space in their new bedroom.

“We’ll unpack them a little at a time. Can you stop worrying and  come lay down now?”

Dan nods, putting the stress of the day behind him, and crawls into bed and into Phil’s open arms. It’s a while before either of them speak. Partly because moving is exhausting and stressful, and they’re just grateful to finally have the time to lay, wrapped up in each other, without one of them jumping out of bed, remembering something they forgot to do. And partly because they need time to let it sink in, that they’ve actually done it, they’ve actually moved house. It feels half like a beginning, and half like an interlude before they take the next step.

“Should we get that dog now?” Dan asks, only half-joking. They could, technically. But they’ve talked about it at length. Not yet.

“Yes. I think the neighbor downstairs has two, we should just take one off their hands right now,” Phil replies, probably way too quickly, and they both dissolve into laughter.

Once they’ve calmed down a little bit, and returned to just enjoying each other’s presence, Dan allows himself to bask in the happiness and contentment he’s been feeling every day since they admitted their feelings for each other. It’s an addicting feeling, one he’s not planning on letting go of anytime soon. He can’t believe it took him this long to arrive at this point.

“Hey, Phil?” he asks, looking up at the ceiling. He doesn’t know if he can ask this question face to face.

“Yeah?”

“How… How did you… why did you…” Dan trails off, searching for the best way to word what he knows is a fairly loaded question. After a while he gives up and just blurts out, “What if I’d never gotten the hint?”

“What hint?” Phil asks with a yawn. It’s late, and sleep is probably the best idea right now, but Dan has to ask this or else he’s gonna be up all night thinking about it.

“I just mean, it took me so ridiculously long to figure out how I felt about you, how did you know I would get there?” Dan asks, hoping he’s explained that well enough. He hasn’t, but Phil knows what he means anyway.

“You’re my person. I’ve known that for a while now. You’re it for me,” he tells him with a shrug.

“I think… I think you’re my person too.” Dan wants to apologize again, to make up for all the time they spent in limbo, being together without ever really being together, but he knows if he says sorry one more time, he’ll probably get kicked out, and he’s pretty comfortable right now.  

“Good. Now stop thinking so loud, I wanna take a nap,” Phil says with a yawn.

“Wow, you really are getting old,” Dan teases, even though he knows he’s going to give in. They’ve had a long day, and napping together is around number four on his list of favorite things to do with Phil.

“Shut up,” Phil laughs, and Dan takes note of the way his chest feels, rising and falling beneath him.

“You do realize though that if we nap this late, we’re gonna be up all night?” Dan points out, breaking the comfortable silence they’ve fallen into.

“I’m sure we’ll think of something to do,” Phil replies, and for a second Dan considers taking that comment somewhere, but it’s been a long day, and he doesn’t think either of them have the energy for that.

“Set up the gaming room?” he suggests instead.

“Sure. We can play Mario Kart until we’re tired.”

“God, I love you,” Dan sighs, happily.

“I know,” Phil answers, and he can hear the smile in his voice.

They fall asleep shortly after that, equal parts content and exhausted.

Two hours later, they’re sitting on the floor, screaming and playing Mario Kart. And as grateful as Dan is for all the things that have changed between them, he’s even more grateful for the things that haven’t, especially on nights like this. And when Phil kisses him after a particularly impressive victory, he can’t help but feel like this is a beginning.

[golbrocklovely]

only the lonely survive // colby brock - chapter eight: damn, you look good and i’m drunk

A/N: sorry about the lack of updates. i wanted a break from writing so i took one, but i'm back. there's new character in this chapter and lets just say he may not be real, but he's definitely based on actual influencers/ppl i know lol. as always, tell me what you think :)

description of the story

taglist:  @ajosieface , @localsleeper , @julyrubyrose

trigger warning: cursing, partying, drinking, talks of fighting, bullying/light verbal abuse, cliffhanger

word count: 1823

"Oh my God, there is so many people here!" Casey yelled, trying to be heard over the music

The party was pack with people, mostly youtubers, jumping around, dancing, and drinking. We had only just got through the door, only to realize we had no idea where Brennen, Colby, or anyone we know was at.

"Let's go make our drinks first." I yelled back, pulling Casey towards the kitchen.

We reached the kitchen, grabbing some red solo cups. Casey grabbed the vodka bottle out of my hand, pouring some into her cup and then taking a quick swig from the bottle.

"Stop! I don't want your germs in my drink!" I smirked, shoving her lightly.

She flipped me off, grabbing a bottle of soda from the counter and pouring it into her cup. I took the vodka bottle, repeating her actions.

"Hurry up and make your drink so we can dance." She stated, grabbing my hand the second my drink was made. We walked towards the living room, the place where everyone was dancing.

We slowly start dancing, swaying our hips back and forth, taking sips from our drinks every so often. The music was thumping loudly, making everything vibrate. I closed my eyes, reaching my hands up, getting lost in the music.

Casey grabbed one of my wrists, pulling me close. "Oh my God, don't look now, but Travis Marcus is sitting on the couch behind you."

I cocked my head to the side, "Who the hell is Travis Marcus?"

I turned my head, looking towards the couch. On it sat Travis, brown quaffed hair and dark eyes. Dressed in all black, he was whispering to one of his friends on the couch, looking over at me and Casey.

"He has almost a million followers. He mostly does challenges, vlogs, and other stuff on his channel, but every so often he comes out with a cover of a song that blows up." She stated matter-of-factly.

"Is he any good... singing wise?" I questioned.

"Ehh, could be better. There was one cover that was fucking amazing though." She beamed.

I smirked, turning back towards her, "Are you a fan?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, but I do watch him from time to time. I mostly watch him because he's hot."

I snorted, turning back towards the couch. Travis stood up and started heading over to us. I quickly looked at Casey, "He must know we're talking about him because he's coming over right now."

Casey's eyes widen, looking up above my head. I turned to see Travis standing right in front of me. He's taller than I imagined.

He's like the same size as Colby. Skinnier though.

"Hey, I saw you dancing over here and I wanted to introduce myself." He smiled, looking me directly in the eyes, "You probably know who I am. I'm Travis Marcus."

I smiled, holding back my eye roll. "No, I don't know who you are. But, it's nice to meet you Travis."

Casey whispered to me, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'll be back when he's done eye-fucking you."

I glared at her quickly as she scurried away. I laughed looking back at Travis, "Sorry my friend left so quickly."

He smirked lightly, "It's no problem. I wanted to talk to you anyway."

I stared up at him. "Oh? Why's that?"

"Because you're different from all the other girls at this party." He stepped closer, whispering into my ear. He placed a hand on my hip.

"How am I different?" I asked.

I could see his friend come up to us, a vlog camera in his hand. It was pointed at us. I tried not to look at it.

Travis glanced to the camera, nodded at it, and turned back to me "Well, I'm just surprised by you."

I started. "I don't underst-"

"I'm surprised they allow fat people in LA. I thought this was a no fat girl zone. I guess I was wrong." He laughed, turning towards his friend and giving him a handshake. His friend was smiling too.

What. The. Fuck.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I glared up at him.

"What's the matter? It's just a fact. Maybe lose some weight and people won't judge you." He shrugged, smirking.

I shook my head, dumbfounded. "Unbelievable... Go fuck yourself."

I turned my back to him and walked away, heading towards the kitchen. It was the only spot in the house a lot of people weren't at. I sighed, annoyed. I grabbed mine and Casey's bottle of vodka, pouring more into my drink.

This is gonna be a long fucking night.

"Baby!" I heard yelled my way. I turned around to see Brennen and Colby walking up to me. Brennen had his arms opened to me. He came up and pulled me in, giving me a big hug.

"Hi Brennen." I mumbled against his shoulder.

"I was wondering if you were here! We saw Casey a couple minutes ago. We've been here a while!" Brennen yelled again.

I turned to Colby, giving him a hug as well. He smiled down at me. "Yeah. I haven't seen you in a bit."

"A good couple hours." I replied, slightly smirking.

He glanced away, his face somewhat flushed. Brennen lightly grabbed my wrist. "Um babe, pay attention to meeeee."

"How drunk are you?" I laughed.

He and Colby look at each other and drunkenly giggled. "We may have had one too many. But who cares it's the weekend!"

"It's Tuesday." I stated, shaking my head.

"Extended weekend?" Colby shrugged, causing me to roll my eyes and smile.

"Anyway, why don't you dance with me? Maybe I can show you some sexy moves." Brennen said, thrusting his hips slightly forward.

"No, I'm good. I don't want to dance tonight." I sighed.

"Why? What's wrong?" Colby asked, leaning closer.

I took a long sip from my drink. "Nothing. I don't want to talk about it."

"Did something happen?" Brennen replied.

I guess I should tell them.

"Do you know who... Travis Marcus is?" I winced a little.

They both looked at each other. "Yeah, I kinda know him. He's been to a couple parties at my house. Why?" Colby stated.

"It sounds so stupid..." I trailed off.

"Just tell us what's wrong, Skye." Brennen said.

"He... made fun of me?" I was still surprised at what he said.

"What?" They asked in unison. 

"So, I was dancing with Casey and we see him looking over at us. And I had no idea who he was, but Casey knew. He comes over, Casey leaves, and he starts talking to me. He says I'm like no one else at this party and I ask him what he means. Then he says 'I'm surprised they let fat people in LA'. His friend sorta filmed all of it too." I grumbled, finally looking up at them.

Their eyes darkened at my words. Brennen and Colby glanced at one another, nodded, and turned to leave. I grabbed their wrists suddenly. "Woah, where are you guys going?"

"We're gonna go talk to him." Colby stated deadpanned.

"I just want give him a piece of my mind." Brennen smirked evilly.

I jumped in front of them. "No no no. Guys, you are not gonna fight him just because he made fun of me."

"Who said anything about fighting?" Colby asked, looking me in the eyes.

"I don't know, maybe it's the fact that you guys look like you want to hit something." I quipped.

Brennen turned his head to Colby. "Travis is definitely a something."

I sighed. "Don't fight him, please. Just ignore him. He's not worth it."

They both relax a bit. Brennen leaned against the counter. "If he ever says shit like that to you again, I will have to hurt him."

I exhaled. "Okay."

I gazed over at Colby. He was glaring at the ceiling, taking a long swig from his drink.

"Are you alright?" I whispered to him, stepping closer.

"I'm good." He grunted.

I don't believe that for a second.

Before I could respond, Casey comes up to us. "Hey, I was wondering where you went off to. What happened with Travis?"

"It's a long story. Is it okay if we leave soon?" I asked.

"Uh... sure? I wasn't really in the mood to stay much longer anyway. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'll tell you about it in the Uber."

I turned to Brennen and gave him a quick hug, mumbling a 'see you later' to him. I stepped over to Colby and gave him a hug. When I pulled away, I looked up at him, his eyes already on mine. "I'll text you later, okay?"

"Okay." He smiled a tight-lipped smile, pulling away from me quickly.

I waved at both of them, grabbing Casey's hand and moving to the exit.

/  /  /  /

"Oh my God, what a fucking jerk!" Casey exclaimed, pulling the blanket over her legs.

I scoffed. "I know. I just can't believe I got made fun of. I feel like I'm back in fucking middle school."

We had been home for an hour, relaxing on the couch in pjs. We had ordered takeout and ice cream. Casey turned on Beetlejuice, my favorite movie, to try and cheer me up.

"The fact that his friend filmed it really pisses me off. Like if he post it anywhere, all it's gonna show is that Travis is a dick. Did they think it was a joke of something?" Casey rolled her eyes, taking a bite of food.

I shrugged, grabbing some fries. "It's all so... stupid. And then to top it off, Brennen and Colby were about to fight him."

"Wait what?!" Casey gasped, sitting up quickly.

I nodded, twisting my face up a bit. "Yeah, they were ready to fight him and I had to stop them from doing it."

"What's the face for? Did something else happen?" She asked.

I sighed. "Kinda, I guess. After I told them what had happened, Colby got kinda closed off. I don't know why though... maybe I'm just reading into it."

"It's because you like him, that's why." She smirked.

"What? No he doesn't..." I trailed off, looking back at the TV.

"Think about it: the girl he's into gets made fun of by some douche. He wanted to fight Travis because he hurt you, and Colby doesn't like seeing you hurt." She continued, "He soooo likes you." She laughed.

"Ha ha, shut up." I mocked, grabbing my phone. I started to scroll through Instagram, only to be interrupted by a call from Brennen.

I picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey, can you tell me where you live?" Brennen asked.

I cocked my head to the side. "Um why?"

"Well, a bunch of us kinda need to come over." He mumbled.

"Who?"

"Me, Colby, Sam, and Kat."

"Did something happen?" I questioned.

"We got into a fight with Travis." He stated.

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