#the second and equally as important reason is that actually u are Not !!! allowed to split them up

[villainsidestep]

have u heard abt our lord and savior fawnric 🙏🏻

[ruins-posts]

Umm, do you write fluff alphabet? could you do it for Sebastian Michaelis from black butler?

It's alright if you don't, sorry for the trouble.

🤍 Sebastian Michaelis Fluff Alphabet ���

Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Sebastian would love to spend time with some of his feline friends with your company, the two of his most favourite creatures on Earth. Sebastian also enjoys taking long strolls along with you, engaging in some deep and meaningful conversation.

He enjoys teaching, and so he'll always be up to teach his s/o something new that they've been wanting to learn or something he feels they should learn. He'll probably end up showing off his skills though.

Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Sebastian is beyond petty concepts such as physical attractiveness, if his s/o's personality has managed to intrigue and interest him, he will greatly admire that. He'll admire how your personality stands out compared to the other human beings, your unique traits and interests, the way you view the world, and above all, your ability to love a monster like him.

Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down?

Sebastian will give you your space to figure out things on your own, but if you require his comfort and support he will immediately rush to your side, providing you with any and every thing you need. He will listen to all your feelings if you're willing to pour them out, he's more than willing to provide you with a shoulder to cry on.

Even though he doesn't understand the complexity of human emotions, he's learned comfort mechanisms over the years.

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Given the current situation, he does not see his relationship with you evolving at all. However, if a miracle happens and the contract does reach an end, he might drag you to hell with him.

Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

No, Sebastian will not see you as his equal or as superior to him. Humans are lowly creatures, and to be honest, you're no exception. He's definitely the dominant one, but he is also very respective of you.

Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Sebastian has a good amount of control over his wrath, he won't speak anything till he feels it's absolutely necessary. He'll be fine if you aplogise to him, but it's never the other way around. You'll never get an apology from him, he's too proud to say sorry.

Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He is always aware of the littlest of things you do for him, and he will even try to return your gestures. The return of gestures is mostly done in physical forms, such as hand holding, kisses, cuddles, and sometimes when you're lucky he'll even bake you a few sweets and make you some tea. None of your affections go unnoticed.

Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Oh dear, he has millions of secrets that he keeps hidden from you. Mostly because they're horrifying and could give you nightmares for days, they're secrets your frail human mind might not be able to handle.

Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Not really, the only change that came in him after he met you was that he felt a slight amount of love in his cold, ruthless heart, and he was willing to protect someone outside of a contract.

Sebastian usually has no personal problems, even if he did he's perfectly capable of finding the solutions on his own. He'll not want to burden you with his problems.

Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

This demon is possessive of what belongs to him, and so he absolutely won't stand it if someone's trying to steal you from him, they will be annihilated.

Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

There's no questioning Sebas-chan's kissing skills, he's excellent. He'll always leave you craving for more. His kisses are the most passionate, rough and yet gentle.

The first kiss was probably planned out by him, even though you were oblivious to it. He took you out for a peaceful evening walk in the gardens, and it naturally happened in the flow of the moment. The two of you leaned in till your lips met, and he pulled you closer to him deepening it.

Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

After the very first kiss that the two of you shared, Sebastian would tell you that he holds some amount admiration for you and that does not consider you as just another pest human. That's it, that was his confession.

Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Sebastian doesn't think that marriage is necessary for you two to become closer, but if you want be wedded to him, he will gladly do it. The function won't be a grand or an official one, just the two of you simply declaring your vows to each other.

He'll only marry you after his current contract is over, though.

Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

You'll be called regular nicknames such as 'darling' or 'my love', but his favourite is surely 'kitten'.

On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

This butler is a master of masking his emotions, nobody will get even the slightest of hint that he's in love with somebody. Though when he's alone with you, he'll allow himself to be vulnerable and show how much he loves you quite freely.

PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Sebastian won't be very affectionate in public, and will prefer to keep his relationship a secret to maintain his 'perfect butler' image in front of people.

He's won't mind occasional hand holding and kisses when nobody is looking though.

Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He's simply one hell of a butler, but I'm pretty sure he can give you a glimpse of heaven, if you know what I mean ;)

Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy?

Quite romantic. He'll romance you all he can in his free time. He's an affectionate demon, in his alone time he's always in physical contact with you in one way or the other.

He'll study through human romantic gestures for you, even though he finds them silly. But as long as you're happy, he'll do anything.

Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Yes, he will support you unconditionally. And trust me, if he believes in you and says you can do it, you can. He won't give you false hopes and motivate you to do things that are beyond your capabilities.

He's willing too help you if you ever need it. It's a pleasure to him when he's the reason behind your success.

Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Sebastian will leave that up to you. If you like routine, he'll stick to it. However, if you believe that you need to try out new things to spice up your relationship, he'll do that as well.

You'll have to specify what exactly you want to do to spice it up though, ask and he will bring it to you.

Understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He can read human emotions to some extent, but he won't be able to figure out what exactly is bothering you. If you're vocal about it, he will absolutely help you put. He's always putting in effort to understand you better.

He's a demon, empathy is something he absolutely will not feel. A tiny bit of sympathy might arise, but don't expect him to be empathetic.

Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

After his young master, you are his second priority. You hold an important position in his life, but he will never put you before his young master. He's bound by contract to him, after all.

You are the only one who can make him feel the slightest bit of emotion, filling his heart with a strange warmth he has never experienced. Being a demon he must consume souls as food, and other than that, you're the other thing important in his life.

Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Being a demon, he doesn't require sleep, but he does love to lie down and watch you beside you as you sleep. The sight of your chest falling and rising rhythmically and your peaceful face fills him with a peaceful feeling. He only wonders what sleep feels like to humans.

And he loves to coddle you while you're fast asleep. He finds the sight rather cute.

XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Sebastian is fond of expressing himself through physical touch, so a certain amount cuddles and kissing is involved. He won't admit it but he misses your touch when you're not around.

Kissing you is one of his favourite things to do. The sight of your flushed face and heavy breathing after he's done with ravaging your lips fills him with pride.

Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He'll try to lose himself in his work, and even seek the company of his beloved cats. He actually won't miss you unless you're going away for too long, and in that case, secret visits are guaranteed.

Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Yes, you hold an important place in his cold heart, and he's grown rather fond of you. He'll go any lengths to keep you with him and protect you, because you're the only one who he's willing to make himself vulnerable to.

[teklarn]

𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓶𝔂 𝓫𝓸𝔂𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾 (𝓹𝓽. 2)

 character(s): katsuki bakugou x gn!reader 

a/n: ok so i just started writing on tumblr and honestly in my opinion for my first time posting smth on this the first part did really well thank u for all the likes :) (told from second pov; e.g you, your) reblogs are greatly appreciated :))

summary: bakugou x gn!reader. they have feelings for one another but have no idea how to express them, however y/n has someone pining for their attention. 

genre: a lil bit angsty 

warnings: cursing, jealousy, mutual pining, slow burn romance, aged-up to third year, love triangle (square?), physical injuries, kirishima gets a little toxic, also shirtless bakugou (awooga), a crap ton of time skips bc i can’t write action scenes for shit, bakugou is a flirt (lowkey but yeah), mentions of blood 

word count: 2112

pt 1 , pt 3

- - - 

kirishima had broken the skin on his lower lip with how hard he was biting it. he stood in the bathroom, rinsing his mouth, ignoring the slight sting the water brought. 

y/n was currently being blasted by bakugou, and they were fighting back. 

jealousy panged in his chest. 

bakugou had never let him know about how he felt about you, however kirishima was sure he felt something for them. you and bakugou were both a jumble of prideful and longing stares towards each other from across every room. the tension was thick enough to slice through. and while kirishima would never make a move in fear of ruining the friendship between him and bakugou, as well as him and y/n, gosh it didn’t stop him from wanting to. 

he’d stood on the side, cheering you on to no end. the sports festival last year, the year before that, training exercises, he was always there. kirishima was always there. 

whenever you needed him, whenever you wanted his company. so what did bakugou have over him? sure, the blond was strong and had bigger goals than kirishima, but why should that matter? 

what did bakugou have? why would you want him more when he was never near you? never made an effort to see you to be there when you asked for help. 

it was popular belief that bakugou was a noisy idiot, but he was actually quite a quiet boy. he didn’t bother to raise his hand in class, however he always knew the answer. he spoke rarely and only made conversation with those he was close with if they were the ones to make the effort to converse with him first. 

jealousy, jealousy, jealousy. kirishima despised it. 

whenever did he begin wanting to beat bakugou at something? 

the cloud of guilt welling up in his chest was going to become unbearable, and soon everything he ever wanted to say was going to come up like word vomit at the worst possible time. 

- 

you swiped at your cheek, brushing off the crumbling dirt. your timing had been off, and their flip backwards had landed you in an awkward position. a vulnerable one. 

honestly, though, it wasn’t like it really mattered. bakugou was a bit transparent himself. he wore a smug look like a golden medal, and held back his power just enough to keep you on your feet. 

his cocky attitude was irritating and it drew you in like a moth drawn to a lamp. 

sweat was beading down your temple. the day was exceptionally hot, the sun beaming down on your back like a proud child. 

you and bakugou had been at it for a while. with anyone else, you would have quit by now. it’s not that you gave up easily. no, not ever. but fights could get boring, especially if you were just smashing away at them with your quirk and they were acting like they could take it. 

perhaps you were being cocky. 

this fight, though. this was interesting. not only because it was bakugou; also because you knew so little about him. 

it was likely he never shared anything important to anyone. he was quite introverted. 

it was interesting for another reason. 

it was hot, bakugou sweats a lot. gosh, he looked delicious without a shirt on. he had a built figure accompanied by strong arms and a broad chest. 

he’d filled out quite nicely the past few years. you hadn’t noticed until now how much he’d grown. 

“don’t get distracted.” 

your eyes snapped up from his chest to his eyes. bakugou became a blur, shooting himself off the ground and flipping once in the air before propelling himself back down. 

before you could do anything, bakugou had you pinned, one leg pinning yours, both his hands wrapped around your wrists. he’d ditched his gauntlets, leaving the metal assistants in the sweltering heat, claiming he wanted to give you an equal fight. 

he panted atop you, hands tightening. 

tokage didn’t bother to leave her dorm today, thank goodness. it had just been the three of you. you, bakugou, and kirishima. 

the red head had suspiciously vanished halfway through the fight, though.

bakugou’s crimson eyes bored into yours. neither of you blinked for a moment. perhaps just a small eternity each of you silently reveled in. 

his erratic breaths slowed, and so did yours, although you stayed the same. unmoving, faces neutral but eyes giving away long-held secrets. 

your ears flushed, and butterflies came rising up uncontrollably. you should have pushed him off. instead you gave him a wicked grin, which earned a look from him and you couldn’t tell if he was confused or annoyed. 

“your big ass forehead is blocking the bright-as-hell sun. stay like this,” you mocked, wrenching your wrists from his grasp and snaking your arms around his neck. 

his cheeks burned red. “w-what?” 

“you heard me.” 

he scoffed, tugging you off his neck and standing. “shut up, shitface. we aren’t even done yet.” he readied himself in a fighting stance once more. 

“i thought you said you wanted to stop when you won?” you brushed yourself off as you stood. 

“i know what i said. you probably weren’t even giving it your all.” 

“’course i was.” you cocked your head. “why wouldn’t i?” 

“you’re strong, damn idiot.” 

you feigned surprise, pressed a hand to your fluttering chest. “the bakugou, dynamight himself, complimenting a humble soul like me? oh, i really must be good, then.” 

“not as good as me.” his face dropped from a smile. bakugou never got enough training no matter how early or late he stayed up, or how many hours on the weekends were spent kicking a bag or sparring with friends. hard workers did all of the work there was a still wondered if they were doing enough. the number one spot wasn’t empty, but it was still reserved for dynamight. 

- 

y/n had collapsed on their bed. kirishima was itching to tell them how he felt, however he was stuck at the doorway. 

they weren’t even dressed for bed, nor were they showered. 

he settled with leaving his friend alone, and shut the door softly to find bakugou standing right behind him. 

kirishima jumped back, closing his eyes in relief. “bakugou. what the heck man?” 

“you’re creepy as shit.” 

“i- what? you were the one staring at me while i-” 

“while you peeped in on y/n?” 

“i wasn’t peeping. i walked them back after the fight and they just collapsed. you were off doing something else and you worked them too hard.” 

it wasn’t a shock that bakugou was still riled up from the duel. this boy had the energy of a mad man. 

when bakugou didn’t say anything, kirishima said once again, “you overworked them.” 

bakugou swat away the comment. “only because they’re not working hard enough.” 

kirishima raised an eyebrow. “they work hard. they’re perfectly fine.” 

“fine?” 

“they’re amazing.”

“i know that, shitty hair. you think i’m blind?” 

“everyone can make improvements at their own pace.” kirishima’s voice dropped. 

“you train with me.” 

“it’s an hour before curfew.” 

bakugou jut a thumb in the direction of the door. “so? maybe you need some more practice, too,” he joked. 

“you’re an ass, bakugou,” kirishima released a breathy chuckle. 

the two wandered off to one of the training grounds. it was open, a wide court where they’d both kicked someone else’s ass. 

the sun was just setting, a new cool breeze coming to fill the spot of the violent sun rays. 

it was routine to fight each other out of nowhere. kirishima was usually quite playful, spewing jokes once in a while and taunting his friend. 

this fight was different. his face was stone-cold. kirishima often took the defensive role, as his quirk didn’t allow him to project any direct attacks to bakugou.

it wasn’t like kirishima was angry at bakugou, but as soon as they started charging towards one another, he couldn’t hold back. his chest tightened, arms hardening and joints becoming strong and stiff. 

with one clean sweep of his arm, bakugou was backing away from kirishima, propelling himself to the edge of the arena with a small blast. he’d always been up for a challenge. kirishima was willing to give him one. 

his sudden competitive demeanor seemed to be egging on bakugou’s. the blond tongued the inside of his cheek, grunting as he shot forth, hair flying wildly. 

swiftly, kirishima dodged, just barely missing a blast. his torso wasn’t hardened, so if he’d dodged any later, his stomach would have been scorched. 

bakugou always took their fights seriously. he knew better than to underestimate the boy who had put together his very own rescue mission. 

kirishima’s opponent stumbled from the momentum. he took his chance and brought a hardened elbow down on bakugou’s back, hearing a satisfying crack. 

bakugou was crushed to the ground with the hit. his face smashed into the sandy ground. he coughed, turning over and spitting dirt to the side. 

it took a moment for him to register what he did, but kirishima was at bakugou’s side within seconds. the sun was nearly gone, a pale blue sky flickering with the first sights of stars. 

it was hard to make it out at first, but not impossible. kirishima saw the blood dripping and smeared just above bakugou’s lip. he groaned, cupping his face in both hands as he sat upright. 

“argh” bakugou gasped. “shit, kirishima. what the hell?” 

“i...i’m sorry dude, i didn’t mean to.” i wanted to, but i didn’t mean to. 

bakugou raised an eyebrow and let a smile seep through his pain. “you’re improving, though.” 

“are you alright?” kirishima traced the small cut on his lip from earlier with the tip of his tongue. 

“i’m fine, i’m fine.” bakugou swatted his hand away. he struggled to get up, refusing kirishima’s help. 

“we should head back before this gets any worse.” 

bakugou kept his large hands hovering under his chin to catch the dripping and occasional chunks of blood.  

although he wanted the duel to continue (it was finally interesting) bakugou wasn’t stubborn enough to keep going. so he nodded, once again denying kirishima’s efforts to help him out. 

- 

you were in the common area, fiddling with a rubik’s cube. it was just you, as everyone else was spending the night among each other. ashido had invited you to her dorm a while ago, but you’d denied, wanting to spend a few more giddy moments to yourself. 

the door rattled, and in came your two friends, one with furrowed brows and the other with blood drenching the front of his shirt. 

bakugou’s head was tilted up in an attempt to stop the blood from flowing down. his adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed the blood trailing down the back of his throat. 

“oh my gosh,” you gasped out, racing to the bathroom. you came back with sanitary wipes in one hand and tissue in the other. “what happened?” 

“we were training,” kirishima started, taking a few tissues from the box and handing them to his friend, “and i accidentally hit him too hard.” 

“you didn’t hit me that hard. you barely did any damage!” bakugou objected. you approached him, and through his fingers, bakugou peered down at you. 

you asked him with your eyes, and he gave you silent permission to pry his arms away from his face. “are you okay?” 

“i’m just dandy,” he scoffed. 

“dude, i’m really sorry—” 

“shut the hell up kirishima. i don’t want your pity. i swear this is the only time i’ll surrender to you, you asswipe.”

you didn’t laugh, not even a chuckle. “bakugou, you need to see recovery girl.” 

“what the hell? no way. all she’s gonna do is give me one of those shitty slobbery kisses and scold me for being careless.” 

“your nose is broken,” you said gently. 

“so? can’t you fix it?” 

you raised a questioning brow. “you want me to help you?” 

“can you or can you not?” 

“i can try to set it but you’re better off going to recovery girl instead of settling with―” 

“all i need is possible. i don’t want to deal with that old lady’s shit right now.” using the tissues kirishima had stuffed into his hand, he caught the remaining blood dripping down his nose. “let’s go.” 

you were more than unsure. he would end up with a crooked nose if you made any small mistake, but he didn’t think twice as he grabbed your shoulder and led you in the direction of your dorm. 

- 

kirishima wished he hadn’t broken bakugou’s nose. not because he felt bad, though. 

[bbytarantula]

The theory about ‘Sukuna’s going to eat (or try to eat) Megumi’ has a high probability to come true

This theory is cross-posted on posted on reddit. Contains spoilers for non-manga readers.

I know that (some) people are sick of this, but I’d like to point out something I’ve noticed from u/bushwarblerssong's post about the urban legend that inspired Gege to create Sukuna, which I think supports the ‘Sukuna will (try to) eat Megumi’ theory.

Gege said he created Sukuna based on an urban legend thread that was posted on 2chan.

The summary of this urban legend thread;

> A construction worker found a 2 meter wooden box with ‘Ryoman Sukuna ??? is sealed’ written on it at the old temple his company was demolishing. Fyi he was the one who posted the thread, so I’ll refer to him as 2chan guy just like bushwarblerssong did on their post.

> 2chan guy called the former priest of the temple & told him about the box.

> The priest told 2chan guy to not open the box.

> Two of 2chan guy’s coworkers opened the box for fun, then they became sick (mute + dazed) & hospitalized (few days later one of them died due to heart attack while the other became mentally unstable).

> That box contained a mummy of two conjoined twins.

> 2chan guy called the priest again. The priest came with his son and took the box. 2chan guy asked the priest’s son about the mummy.

> Priest’s son confirmed the mummy was indeed a pair of conjoined twins. The twins were purchased by Mononobe who was a leader of a religious sect & then the twins got locked inside a secret chamber with other prisoners who also had deformities. They all cannibalized each other there.

> Mononobe was interested in the twins & wanted the twins to become the sole survivor, so he stabbed other prisoners before he threw the twins there.

> The twins survived & Mononobe turned them into a mummy while they were still alive (by starving them). Then he named them Ryomen (Two Faces) Sukuna.

And here’s the interesting part, quoting bushwarblerssong;

To increase the mummy’s power, Mononobe filled Ryomen Sukuna’s stomach with a fine powder made from the crushed bones of ancient “traitorous clans” (like the Emishi or Tsuchigumo) eradicated by the Imperial Court.

Doesn’t the Zen’in kinda fit this label? Since they are in the process of getting removed from the three great families.

ch 152

Maki and Megumi are also deemed as traitors by the Zen’in clan, and perhaps by the Jujutsu Society/higher ups as well. Because they’re currently trying to free Gojo. Plus Megumi is on Yuji’s side and the higher ups clearly see Yuji as evil/dangerous and they want Yuji (Sukuna) dead.

ch 148

Anyway, Sukuna has a mouth on his stomach so it matches the urban legend. I’m guessing Mononobe cut open the stomach of the Urband Legend Sukuna so he could stuff it with the bone powder, thus creating the second mouth.

cover for ch 117

A huge mouth also exists in Sukuna’s domain expansion.

ch 8

ch 119

His domain expansion is called Fukumamizushi (伏魔御廚子) in Japanese. Fukuma (伏魔) means a place where demons hide while Mizushi (御廚子) means the place inside the palace where the emperor eats or the kitchen.

The name of Sukuna’s DE can be taken as “Sukuna’s kitchen” or “Emperor Sukuna’s dining place.”

“The kitchen of all deaths is here!!”

His innate domain also looks like the inside of a stomach.

So far Sukuna’s innate techniques are all related to cooking (Knives; dismantle and cleaves/filleting*, and Fire; flames |*the kanji hachi 捌 also means filleting fish) and we’ve seen him talking about his enemies in cooking term. He even 'employs' Uraume because of Uraume’s cooking skill.

Q: How long has Uraume known Sukuna?

A: Uraume has known Sukuna for 1000 years. Uraume is a human who’s allowed to stand next to Sukuna because Uraume could make delicious food. Uraume is also a sorcerer.

Q: Is Uraume a chef?

A: Sukuna likes to eat people, but it’s difficult to cook them, or rather only few people have the experience, but Uraume is excellent at this.

This character introduction implies that the reason why Sukuna allows Uraume to become his (only) follower is because of Uraume’s cooking skill. Weren't Uraume a good cook, Sukuna most likely wouldn't keep Uraume around.

Also, let’s not forget that it’s also mentioned in the official fanbook that Sukuna finds the most pleasure in eating.

三枚おろし is a culinary term for filleting a fish (into three slices).

味見 means tasting. The fight is a literal taste test for him.

“A delicious death begins with a careful preparation.”

The motif of eating and cooking is heavily emphasized on Sukuna. Even the way he gains control of Yuji’s body began with eating (Yuji ate Sukuna’s finger). Moreover Yuji is also a good cook, he taught Megumi to make meatballs.

(FYI in Gifu prefecture, there’s a giant dish called "Sukuna nabe" or Sukuna stew. Apparently this dish can serve approximately 2500 people. Gifu prefecture was the Hida province back then. It’s said that people of Hida liked Sukuna & considered him as a hero because he defeated a poisonous dragon and a demon called Shichina)

These are the reasons why I believe Sukuna will eat someone later, or at least try to. I’m willing to bet a huge amount of money on this. That mouth on his stomach isn’t there just for decorating, it’s for eating.

And since his interest is solely on Megumi, it’s logical to assume Megumi will become his prey in the future.

I mean, who else fits this position beside Megumi? The other person Sukuna acknowledges is Gojo (so far only Gojo and Megumi are referred to with their full names by Sukuna) but that acknowledgement doesn’t seem to go beyond killing—revenge against Gojo for humiliating him in ch 2/ep 3.

IMO if Sukuna does end up eating humans again later, the very first person he eats would be someone whom he considers special, like a fine grade-A ingredient. Basically the human version of wagyu beef or bluefin tuna.

He wouldn't eat just anybody, at least not at first, because it's stated in the fanbook that "it's difficult to cook them (humans)." So I don't think he would reserve such meticulous preparation for random nobodies. Besides it'd be his first meal after a thousand years of being sealed, so it's gotta be special.

And for what reason? Why would he want to eat Megumi? And why not now? Why wait?

Like many others I believe he wants to absorb Megumi’s power or ability once Megumi reaches his full potential, similar to what Getwo/Kenjaku did with Mahito to cast Maximum Uzumaki in order to create his ideal world, and also similar to the Urband Legend Sukuna ("to increase power").

u/Astral_M explained this in their post about the body is equal to the soul, thus consuming the body is equal to consuming the soul. Quoting them;

Because Sukuna's fingers (part of his body == soul) were preserved, his core of cursed energy is preserved. And Yuji is evidence of a very important concept: Consuming someone's body counts as consuming their cursed core, inheriting their technique!

source: WAYA - Anime Explanation (min 5:01)

I’ve seen multiple versions of translation/interpretations of this, the most common one is “Sukuna wants to create his ideal world with Megumi” I’m not trying to be nitpicking here but this version contains a different meaning from the one I screenshot, because it implies Sukuna wants Megumi to work together with him...... and I doubt that's exactly what Sukuna has in mind. I'm assuming the one I screenshot is the correct (more accurate) version because WAYA is a native Japanese speaker.

Also I think it's worth to note that it's not Gege who said this, it’s the interviewer. Gege’s answer/respond to it was fully censored, so we don’t know whether he actually agreed with this notion or not.

The interviewer then said this (in response to Gege's bleeped out answer);

Another translation;

source: _zanzou_ 

I don’t think Megumi is going to die (or get eaten) early. It’d happen in or near the final arc.

Megumi either dies in Sukuna/Yuji’s hands (depends if they manage to separate, I'm betting Sukuna's going to merge with Yuji though, because it fits the theme; conjoined twins + two faces), or he lives, because clearly Sukuna wouldn’t allow others to kill him.

Thanks for reading!

TL;DR Sukuna will definitely (try to) eat someone later and that someone is most likely going to be Megumi.

[jubberry]

oohkay let's go tua with those ship asks: fiveya, horrance and alluther.

thanks el i love you

Send me a ship and I'll answer three questions based on if I ship it or not.

fiveya obvs i ship this since this is 90% of my tua drawings lol

1. ill wait ill wait (to be the one) by georgiestauffenberg made me ship it cause holy fuck dude. I dont know if i ship them romantically when i saw them onscreen cause first of all, age difference is kinda weird lmao. Second, they dont rlly interact much outside literally the first couple of eps. But he was so soft for her, and i felt like they had so much unexplored history.

so i looked at fanfics cause i was wondering if ppl still ship it, then i liked the description of this one so i gave it a go.

Basically the premise is that vanya dates a much older man who seems to know a lot about her. And it was amazingly in character and just provided their characters some depth that u wouldnt find outside of a romantic relationship between them. (The implication of five pining while she doesnt know who he is, their missed chances when he time travelled, fives missed chances of living and having a 'normal' life bec of his own hubris, vanyas insecurity and being able to open up bec shes with someone whos known her since childhood). Its so sweet and thats how i was like, oh yep i can do so much more with these two, and what has kept me interested in drawing them etc.

2. My favourite things are the shippers cause i made some friends in the fandom who are super cool and supportive! I dont get super involved in fandoms and usually just watch from afar so finding people to talk to and muck around with in this tiny fandom is super cool 😭

Though thats not to say I havent come across some bad apples in this fandom and things that I dont like. I think thats the importance of carving out a place for yourself and ur friends in fandom tho.

Another thing I like about the ship itself, i just like the grumpy person whos soft for one person trope. Its so cute. I like all the little clues in canon on how their relationship as kids is quite warm, which is interesting cause five is basically the star student and he can be quite cold vs vanya who is the black sheep of the family.

I also like how five likes her powers even when she caused the apocalypse he spent the majority of his life in lol. Like its a popular hc that five is just a wife guy and i love that.

I see vanya as the type who has a lot of love to give, and she sometimes has unrealistic expectations of what her partner can give. Betrayal and lies really angers her, but also when her partner cannot meet her expectations of love she gets very upset bec its also an indication of how shes not good enough, or not loveable enough to be able to have this in the relationship (her insecurity means every failing always comes back to her, even if its out of her control).

I feel like five would be a level-headed person enough in the relationship to not be afraid to say 'vanya ur being stupid' (ie. the s2 confrontation lmao). Also, five's personality means she will never have to doubt his actions bec she knows hes the type who will not give u the moment of the day if hes not interested.

Not to mention they also have the whole apocalypse vs. saviour, hero/villain thing. Theres just a lot to explore!

3. I probably have several. But mostly I dont mind five being a dick to vanya bec first, even if the appeal is hes soft to her hes already kind of a dick in canon lmao. Also, vanya isnt a child. Shes grown and she can handle petty af things like five telling her shes not good at cooking lol. I also dont mind it cause I feel like people are getting too afraid to write... conflict for fear or portraying an abusive relationship or smth. Like, chill. Conflict is fine, resolving it is how u get a story. However in saying that, nobody should be obligated to write any way unless you want to! Fanfic is for comfort so if what your doing is making u happy then its good enough!

horrance which i also ship but i love the platonic and romantic relationship equally:

1. I came in tua in general not shipping anything so Im honestly not sure. I do remember someone doing a meta before s2 came out that was basically how ben acted weird when klaus summoned dave in s1 that made me go 👀 Otherwise, tua s2 rlly made me like them cause tua FED horrance shippers. Like..... the fact that klaus didnt want ben to leave him, and ben knows thats why he stayed 😢 or the fact that klaus was all over him for some reason???? Somebody also mentioned gay ben once and I resonate with that deeply. Like i get that jill exists but i resonate with gay ben deeply.

2. I love their bickering, theyre so cute together. I just like ben being angry bec hes self aware that hes got both shit and amazing taste. Shit bec he cant believes he likes Klaus (and also amazing also bec Klaus). I think the idea of them being kind of underdogs, theyre not rlly leader types and dont want to be, helps them bond together even in platonic horrance. They're both down to earth, and even tho they can annoy each other, they also know if they want a space to feel comfortable its with each other. Theyre not pressured by rivalry over leadership, or any sort of competition.

I love the idea that even tho ben is like klaus's ''conscience'', hes also down for chaos and bitchy. I feel like klaus rlly enabled that side of him, its not exactly a good thing but its p funny lol

3. I know some people think their dynamic is unhealthy but i dont care lol

alluther. So id say i dont ship this, mostly due to the fact that im not invested? Just like all tua ships so far I rlly came out not wanting anything but platonic relationships cause I feel tua doesnt do romance very well. With alluther, theyre so cute but im not super invested in either of their chars so they havent stuck for me. I appreciate seeing them and talking about them tho, and I'm def open to exploring them further.

1. I think tua canon romances are just so lackluster 😔 Idk who writes the romances but I was just like 'nice' but afterwards I dont really think about them. I love their dance scene and the message behind it! Otherwise, theyre sweet like most of the tua romances but im not super invested, same with all the non canon ships.

2. I really feel like tua needs to decide on what their relationship is. Like, just say its incest or not and stick with it 👀 Or if you wanna support it or not, just make up ur mind. I think I would've liked it better if I found the characters more interesting. Allison especially I feel like suffers from the fact that tua just doesn't want to make her ''mean''. They want to make her supportive and are less interested in making her flawed (ie. she should've had a conflict with Vanya in s2, but the writers didnt want to write the girls fighting which is stupid imo and not what that conflict is about).

In regards to Alluther, the scene where Allison gets annoyed at Luther for sleeping with someone else felt out of line. Like, how are you marrying other people and moving on but Luther isn't allowed to? But honestly, I don't mind if they actually just acknowledge it and make it a deliberate part of Allison's trait that Allison can expect a certain loyalty automatically from other people (which can tie in to her childhood being a star, and the rumour).

Luther is a big simp for Allison, which is sweet, but at the same time it would be nice to have him explore himself for a bit, and who he is outside of the academy. Then maybe they can rekindle their relationship again as new people and see where they go from there.

3. I don't hate them, but they're ok. I'm not super invested in them, just like all the tua canon romance. But I wouldn't mind making content for them if I were a bit more invested in their characters. I love their dance scene in s1 and I feel like its super a underrated portrayal of what their relationship is meant to be. I know no one talks about it but it's just such a great scene, and I'm pretty sure the choreographer was into interpretive dance? The scene had a lot of meaning that I don't see people dig around with.

Essentially I'm pretty sure the fairy lights are obviously a throwback to their childhood together, spending time outside of Reggie. So the dance scene kind of symbolized that pocket of space they made for each other in their life (even if theyre far away, or with other people, they will always have that space for each other).

The way they danced was more like playfighting than dancing, which means their relationship isn't sensual. It's more ''pure'', and romantic. Its basically two kids rekindling their love as adults. I also think this is a response to the incest, cause in s1 tua klaus literally said that 'thank god Regg is not their real father' right before Allison and Luther meet lmao. So its kinda like saying Allison x Luther isnt supposed to be 'ohh step sibling hot' but two people who experienced the same trauma as kids and finding comfort with each other (and rekindling that love after many years).

[lady-delamort]

Red Hood and Komand'r/Blackfire

It has been more than confirmed for a while, since the main antagonists of the third season were announced, which will feature two powerful plots, the first half belonging to Red Hood and the second half to Blackfire.

But what does this really mean?

Join me in raving and theorizing a bit about the path that season three is apparently taking with the information we have so far.

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R E D H O O D

First part of the season

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The Titans have established themselves as a team after defeating Cadmus and saying goodbye to their beloved Donna. The darkness and guilt regarding the Tower's first attempt, Jerico's misfortune, Garth's death, and Deathstroke's ghost have left the tower, and its leader Dick is finally someone else: Nightwing, a new hero...

What else?

Old Titans like Dove and Hawk haven't worked on a simultaneous team in a long time, Kory has lost her powers, Gar is about to experience a transition of his own powers, Rachel is gone, and there are two new Titans (three if we count Joey inside Rose xD👌🏻✨). It still takes a lot of work to be a true team.

My theory is that this stage of Arkham Asylum, Scarecrow and Red Hood will have a resemblance impact on our Titans. Not only facing the old Robin as friend and former Titan, but also, how now they would begin to synchronize with each other as the team they should be, how to cope with a new, more accessible Dick and how they themselves will feel comfortable with each other.

Yes, at the end of the season we saw them all united by the pain of losing Donna, but when that has happened and they really have a goal to stop, just worrying about others is not enough, they are all going to have to be in a line similar to combat.

And all this in the city of darkness, Gotham.

I am one of those who is most excited about Blackfire and all the crazy party that it will bring, but it is more than clear that we have to put our heroes and their team to the test before the real bomb that hits them from where they least expect it, falls . And who better to test their ties and wills than Red Hood himself?

Although not everything seems to be a battle with our former Robin.

This image of Jason was posted by one of the Titans producers. What do we notice in this image? Pain, almost fear.

It is unknown if Jason will die and revive this season, either way he is obviously in trouble.

The last time Jason showed up, he no longer wanted to know anything about the Titans and less about Batman, so to think that he went his own way without asking for help from either of them and doing dangerous jobs as impulsive as him, is not so crazy.

So it was only a matter of time before he got into trouble.

I imagine him calling Dick and abruptly cutting off the call, our boy, scared by his partner, decides to trace the call and locate it somewhere in Gotham. So, all together, they decide to go there.

Taking advantage of the fact that Bruce intervenes at this stage to try to be a neutral point in all the team's disgrace (such as at the end of the old season) and Barbara putting them tense, letting them know that they are actually a threat more than a team. And so Bruce and Barbara go into a shot and loose between the morale of the Titans.

And to top it off, Arkham Asylum with the Scarecrow making Jason suffer to the point of turning him Red Hood.

I find it a bit difficult to see him as a real antagonist to Red Hood in the season when there are other problems crowding out there, but I suppose this first half of the season will end with a great team battle against the scarecrow, along with Red Hood (maybe); and when everything has calmed down, the Titans want Jason to come back, and he would take a different path again; without being able to save him from the violent and bloody path he chose.

A victory on the one hand and a defeat on the other.

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B L A C K F I R E / K O M A N D ‘ R

Second part of the season

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Our team ties were not put to the test enough, but there is certainly greater trust, greater affection, and greater camaraderie between them, as the official loss of Jason (and perhaps good news from Rachel and Donna, who knows) pushes the team to decide to return to their Tower, feeling more like a family than a group of misfits.

Especially Kory, who had felt so lost and alone at the end of season two.

Perhaps more Tamaraneans will begin to arrive, perhaps greater signs of Blackfire will appear, perhaps, several strange objects will even begin to appear that Kory knows perfectly well could be ships or weapons of her people. Whatever the reason, Kory will realize that Blackfire is closer.

Then she starts to walk away.

Because Kory has come to feel too good in the team to put them at risk with a problem of their own, especially now everyone is beginning to return to their own path, their destiny.

Will we see the team wanting to get closer to Kory? Dick trying to get into a very serious conversation with her? Gar, Dick, and Rachel getting in Blackfire's way to protect their precious friend?

I see it very likely.

Blackfire not only comes to pressure Kory to maximize her powers, to face her destiny and her past, to put her life at risk. Blackfire comes to shake all the Titans equally. Leading everyone's lives in danger and questioning their fate.

Being a hero, a vigilante ... is that what everyone really wants?

The threat of Blackfire will be something different than what everyone has experienced before, and with Kory walking away from them (one of the mainstays of the team), things are going to get very, very interesting.

Perhaps at the end of the season we will see the descent of Hank or Dawn as titans, already on better terms than before, because now they are not fleeing from something, but deciding a different fate than the vigilantes.

To all the Titans who find the true meaning of being a Titan. And accept it with all the horrors to come, knowing that you can overcome it, because you are together. And that makes them invincible.

I'm too excited for this season, I am NOT going to allow myself to think about how they could ruin it or how I could be disappointed and hope for the best, always the best for my favorite team of heroes. They deserve it. 💙

B O N U S

Does anyone have a theory or comment regarding how the Rachel and Donna subplot will play out this season? I feel that we have encompassed ourselves in the two big Arches and not in this small plot.

I feel that, as everything is going, they are going to dedicate a single chapter to them and I don't know what to think about it 😂💔. I feel like it's something very important but I can't think of a way to get excited about it when we have Red Hood and Komandr around the corner.

[fenristheorem]

Asks/Headcanons/Stories

Rules, Details and Other Important Information

Updated May 22nd, 2021

Status: Currently NOT accepting requests / asks 

See my Masterlist here!

***The ask box will be closed within a couple days of the updated post date (April 30th). It will be closed for a couple of weeks while I bring my request count down (it’s reached over 30 requests) and due to my schedule limiting how much time I can spend writing. Any new asks I receive will be immediately posted stating the box is closed (although I’m still open to receiving comments and other questions via ask box). 

How long for an answer: About a month depending on how much work will go into it, my askbox is quiet as of late but I have many that I’m working on currently. I have almost 20 drafts and a nearly equal amount of untouched requests in my ask box.

(Rules under the cut)

Hello! If you’ve reached this post you may be interested in asking/requesting something - go ahead and do so! Just make sure you keep in mind the information I list here because if an ask/request is outside my rules I probably won’t write it (there may be some exceptions heavily depending on certain factors). Therefore, please read everything (even if it’s just skimming) so you get a basic idea of what to expect from me.

The only fandom I write for is Eldarya, if you couldn’t tell by my posts lol.

Who do I write for? (Romantically)

Primarily Lance, he’s the only route I follow on my two accounts and I’ve spent a lot of personal time nit-picking and analyzing his character so I’d say I have a thorough understanding of who he is and how to write him.

I'm second most comfortable writing Valkyon, he was my route in Origins. Even though Origins is past now, I'm still happy to write about him

I’m not very interested in the other routes, but I have a general idea of what they’re like, so I’ll write for Leiftan and Nevra, too (although what I write differs. I’ll always write friendly or fluffy relationship stuff, but I draw the line around in-depth, intimate asks. I don’t know them too well so I don’t mind writing semi-vague things about them, but they won’t be very specific). I’m more comfortable writing Leiftan than Nevra overall.

I won’t write for Mathieu as I don’t know him well enough, he seems to be a pretty basic character but I doubt that’s the case so I don’t want to write something I know will likely be nowhere near relevant to who he is.

I may write for Koori, but not as of right now; I’ll update this if I decide to do so later when I know her better.

Other than what’s detailed here, I won’t write romantically for any other characters.

Have a request that’s not romantic? Awesome, I’ll write general headcanons for any of the characters.

General headcanons basically means anything not too intimate (or an ask that covers many different topics, but that's besides the point right now), I’ll write friendly requests, but not romantic ones. Have a request that seems to walk the fine line between friendship and a platonic / fluffy relationship? Go ahead and ask anyways, I may write it and even it I don’t, it helps provide an example of what I will or won’t write.

I'm happy to write any characters as Origins instead of New Era, just be sure to specify in your ask.

What do I write? (I will add warnings for NSFW and certain angst or violence prompts and how heavy it is in the writing)

Nearly anything, really

Romance

NSFW 

Friendships/friendly fun stuff

Angst

Violence

A lot of others

There may be some things I’m not thinking of currently, but again, I’ll write pretty much anything (and I’ll keep updating this list in time)

That being said, I’m comfortable writing some genres with some characters and others not so much. But again, if unsure, ask anyways.

What DON’T I write?

Non-con (no consent)

Yandere

Suicide (I’ll write how it effects others, but I won’t write the specifics on how an actual character does it)

How to specify your ask:

So I’m a very specific person, and I can go on very long rants; just take this headcanon and this second one as an example. However, I know some people prefer small and short, so I’m asking that in your request/ask you specify which type of writing you want so I’m not constantly thinking ‘oh try and keep it short - but maybe one more bullet - oh god how did this get so long? - m a y b e   I   s h o u l d   j u s t   w r i t e   t h i s   a s   a   s c e n a r i o  - did they want headcanons or a scenario/short story?’ Don’t care about how long my response to your ask is? Cool, don’t worry about specifying length, just send your ask (but seriously, be prepared for something close to a novel lol).

In order of shortest to longest:

Mini-headcanons - Usually the fastest to write - Not as ‘mini’ as you may think. It’s not entirely short, I’ll still put in my fair share of thoughts, but I won’t go on major rants about one thing during the ask. It’s a very straightforward / to the point ask. Not interested in possibly reading an essay on why I think this is this and how I feel this effected this person? This is pretty good for you then.

Normal headcanons / headcanons (otherwise known as medium or long headcanons) - Writing time can differ based on how much I rant, but will usually take longer than mini-headcanons - Are you ok if you end up reading a small novella or a post with so many words it rivals a dictionary? Awesome, this is the type for you! Depending on the ask, I can’t promise that I’ll go on major rants that take centuries to write, but it gives me the freedom to specify and clarify things, while also adding in a few of personal comments. This type of ask really allows me to be creative and provide examples or special situations with the characters.

Scenarios / short stories - Will most likely take longer than both types of headcanons - This type of response doesn’t take place in bullets. It’s exactly as it says - a story. I won’t include my personal opinions / theories in this as stories are a narrative, not an analysis for me. This type is a bit restrictive for me as I will press myself to stay as close to canon as possible, improvising my own theories / headcanons only when necessary to bridge aspects within the story (unless otherwise specified in the ask), but other than that I don’t like to intrude my own thoughts / theories in a story. Good for readers who want drama, descriptions, scenarios, or who feel headcanons just won’t fit the ask this time. These are typically a couple hundred words long for me.

Like mentioned above - if you don’t care about how it’s formatted, don’t worry about specifying anything or just add in the ask that you’re flexible to any format. In this case, I’ll choose what format to write in based on what I feel can fit best the ask while being written well. My default is usually headcanons, though.

Other important information:

This’ll be updated more in time

Have any specific details you want about the ask? Be sure to mention it!

I’m fine with writing asks with gender-neutral characters and such. Writing the S/O’s and reader-inserts are female by default for me, but I have nothing against writing different gender alignments

Writing takes time, especially since I try my best to write quality on every ask. It will usually take me no longer than 5 days to a week to write nearly anything, however, if my ask box is busy or there’s a particularly long request that I’m writing, it could take me within 2 to 3 weeks to write some things. I’ll try to keep it first-come-first-serve, but as some asks may be shorter than others, or I’m feeling a bit more productive on certain asks than others, response time may change a bit. I’ll keep a general idea on how long to expect a response post underneath the status listed at the top of this post

I will write for OC's (original characters)! If you're comfortable with it, I would recommend you send these asks not anonymously; I'll probably DM you to get more information. Otherwise, be sure to DM me saying what your ask was so I can connect the details you give me with the specific ask. I don't mind receiving some details via Anon ask, but it would greatly restrict me if I can't clarify some things so I can write better. That being said; if you would like your ask to be anonymous but need to DM me for details, I promise I'll keep your identity a secret. It's none of my business why you wanted to send anonymously, so I won't go revealing anything.

I have a tendency to swear, but only to stress points humorously or sexually. It’s really only to add to the tone of the story. However, if you’d like to request no swearing specifically then I’ll honor that.

With that: go ahead and ask! I always look forward to writing my next request!

Over all, I’ll write nearly anything, and if you’re unsure, just ask anyways and I’ll clarify if I’ll write it or not. And the more specific you are in your ask; the better I can write it (with reason, of course. Too much limitation will hinder).

Have a request? Ask them here!

Submissions are open! Just click on me!

[polaristranslations]

Shinobu Mustard Episode 4

028

"Kanbaru. Do you mind becoming a slave for tonight? Also, lend me your house."

"All right!"

Second slave, secured.

"Oikura. Tonight, become my slave, and cook for me."

"Don't think you'll be able to live until tonight."

Third slave, failed to secure.

The reason for that failure was most likely because I'd been a hurry and said "my slave"... Well, it wasn't like I could tell her to become the slave of a golden-haired, golden-eyed girl.

And because of her connections with Gaen-san, I couldn't exactly get Kanbaru fully involved in this either, so renting her house for one night should be good enough.

As the "citadel" of the king of oddities.

I'd heard yesterday that her grandparents were out on a trip, so Kanbaru could stay over at Higasa-chan's house or even Karen's room in the Araragi house and hold a pajama party there, while I was allowed to do whatever I liked in the meantime.

I knew it made me sound like an outlaw, but it was a decision I couldn't avoid—the only building I could think of in this town that could serve as a vampire's stronghold was Kanbaru's mansion.

Just as the death-prepared, death-inevitable, death-certain vampire, Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster, had once taken up residence in the "Castle of Corpses", the iron-blooded, hot-blooded, cold-blooded vampire, Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade, needed a building of suitable pedigree in which to take up residence.

It was fairly Japanese-style for a castle—or rather it was just a Japanese mansion—but hopefully, this being Suicidemaster's first visit to Japan, she wouldn't be able to differentiate between castles and mansions in Japan... Not that I, a Japanese person, could.

"But no, I didn't say that just because I wanted to show off. If Suicidemaster were to learn that her former thrall who she came to visit had been rendered harmless and sealed in the shadow of a pervert—nay, human—she may close herself off entirely. We won't be able to hear a single shred of information. In the worst case, you might even be killed. Would you be fine with that?"

"No, I wouldn't, but..."

"In that case, become my slave again like you were in last year's spring break, and prepare a castle and a banquet. To make my reign more convincing. If you can secure two or three more fake thralls, then that would be great."

The slave sealed in my shadow stuck out her chest in pride and ordered me as such from the child seat.

Erm...

"So basically, you want to greet your old pal with a master-servant relationship in that sort of fashion?"

"Fashion is important in hospitality. I'm pretty strict on fashion. Like a Parisienne."

"No, rather than a Parisienne, you're more like a putting-on-airs-ienne. Respectfully speaking, Shinobu. Wouldn't a petty trick like this just be found out immediately..."

"Oh, you're already getting into it. 'Respectfully speaking', you say? Ka ka, you're an expert at acting like a slave already! Have you done this before? Wait, of course you have! Ka ka, keep it up for the real thing!"

With a loud laugh as if she'd already gotten accustomed to being the master, Shinobu sunk back into the shadows... It almost looked like she was assimilating with the child seat.

What a mess. She'd appeared as if she was going to listen to my concerns, but then she just said whatever she wanted to—however, as soon as I parked my New Beetle in the parking lot, before I went inside, it was then that I called Kanbaru, who'd been in the middle of her morning run, and Oikura, who'd been indulging in her slumber at her lodgings.

Kanbaru had eagerly agreed (it was scary how eager she was, but I decided to call her back and discuss it properly, as well as other things), while Oikura had refused (if I left her alone, she'd probably call me back, so at that point, I'll more or less apologize from the bottom of my heart... and ask for her home cooking separately).

Well, Shinobu putting on airs was the same as always.

I almost wanted to tell her to be more show-offy towards me, but considering the way she was cooperating for this case, I couldn't bluntly refuse that honesty... I had better properly inform Gaen-san about this, too.

Thinking about it, Kanbaru was the "niece of that Gaen-san", but in reverse, Gaen-san was the "aunt of that Kanbaru". What if Gaen-san casually went, "I'll do it, too! Let me be a slave, too!" after I went to her with our plans?... I didn't want to see Gaen-san like that.

What an odd family they were.

On the other hand, even though my parents were ordinary, upright public servants, why had all their children turned out like that?

Speaking of which, the fact that only the members of the girls' basketball team of Naoetsu High were being attacked could be rephrased as "only Kanbaru's juniors were being attacked", so maybe it was a good idea to think about things with her as the focal point.

Even if the gourmet Suicidemaster were only able to dine on "Princess Beauty", Kanbaru Suruga was the daughter (in other words, the direct descendant) of Gaen Tooe, who's practically talked about as if she were a legend—so for the club members that were under her influence, the possibility of them being targeted is...

Although, in that case, maybe Kanbaru herself would be targeted? Actually, it was fairly possible that that was the case—and if so, then using Kanbaru's house as a meeting place wasn't a bad idea, if only to see Suicidemaster's reaction, but Kanbaru herself should probably be kept far away.

That was what ran through my mind as I wandered around the campus of Manase University to kill time, having arrived earlier than expected (it was a fairly expansive university, and I still hadn't seen all of the campus yet. Supposedly, it would take over four years to check out all of the facilities—what was this, the British Museum?), but once it got close to 7:45 am, I knocked on the door to the lecture hall for my international linguistics class.

Although it was called "linguistics", it was different from classes on foreign languages in that it put languages from all over the world, both famous and unknown, on equal footing and compared them in detail. Ultimately, an unproductive course with no destination in sight—there were many incomprehensible courses like this in college.

But I liked that sort of incomprehensible stuff. Could this be Ougi-chan's influence?

It was a liberal arts course unusual for someone in the mathematics department to take, and it was hard to say that the course was particularly popular even taking into account how early in the morning it was, but for Meniko, whose goal was to work with codes in the future, there was no way she couldn't take this course—well, for her, international linguistics probably wasn't even an "incomprehensible course" (in exchange, Meniko was bad with normal foreign language study).

"Hola. Araragi-chan, you're ea~arly. How diligent of you~u."

"I dunno about being called early when you're here in your seat before me. Hola."

Not to mention, I planned on skipping class after this. Unfortunately (or not), today's lecture hadn't been canceled.

It seemed I'd have to borrow Meniko's notes another day—the number of favors I was asking her was increasing. Someday, I'd better do something for her in return.

I bumped fists with Meniko and sat down next to her, and then asked, "Do you mind if I asked you to decipher another code?", showing her the sequence of numbers that I had displayed on my cell phone.

"Hmm. Hmm, hmm?"

A normal person, after being asked to solve codes like these two days in a row, would find it strange and ask for my intentions before even trying, but this was Hamukai Meniko—she couldn't not solve a code that was put before her.

It was a difficult personality, but I liked that about her... It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but neither I nor my proud network of friends from high school were people that moved without some reason or purpose.

Even Hanekawa and Oshino.

And even the violent onmyouji Kagenui-san that was heading towards this town was actually a person of reason—she moved according to her own, unique logic.

As a result, there had been a time when I'd thought that people were just like that, but after becoming friends with Meniko, I came to learn that there were people who weren't like that—I'd been enlightened.

Meniko also seemed to be rather interested in the fact that I was (in a rough estimate) rather logical about things, so I suppose it was a mutual thing.

In order to maintain this relationship, I didn't dare introduce Meniko to any of my other connections, such as Oikura, even by mistake—of course, I had absolutely no intention of breaking off my connection with Oikura, who I had reconnected with after entering university, but as for her... Rather than our connection being broken off, it could be more like she herself would snap.

"A cell phone, huh. Was the code recorded in a cell phone?"

"Yep. Although I don't know if that holds any meaning..."

"That's tru~ue. These days, cell phones are like a part of our brains now, aren't they? Some people criticize the fact that when you go on a trip, you end up looking at the scenery through the small screen of your smartphone, but looking at something with the camera of your smartphone is basically the same as looking at it with your own eyes. Maybe when people complain about train passengers playing with their cell phones, it's a sign that they've failed to pair their phones with themselves?"

I hadn't exactly mastered the use of a cell phone myself, so it was hard for me to wholeheartedly agree, but, well, it wasn't like I didn't understand what she was saying.

"Anyway, this time it's only numbers, huh. Hm. I did solve it, bu~ut."

"Already? You're really the one that's early to things, aren't you. The truth is, I didn't have the slightest idea."

It wasn't like I didn't feel helpless when delegating the whole thing to Meniko, so I'd thought that I'd challenge it on my own in the period of time before I took it to her, but I'd spent most of that time on Shinobu's matter.

"It doesn't seem like putting it on a phone and not on paper really mattered? But numbers are easy to make into a code, aren't the~ey. Languages can vary from region to region, depending on grammar and culture, but numbers are worldwi~ide. No matter where in the universe you are, one plus one is two, and a prime number is a prime number, ri~ight?"

"That's not actually the case. For example, in Nepalese, the representations for '1' and '9' look similar, so when a Japanese person sees them, the math wouldn't add up at a glance. The logic would look completely wrong. Also, it's only in Japan where people use the '正' kanji to count to five, and for someone like me, the little horizontal bar used to distinguish a '7' from a '1' is enough to make me not think of it as a '7'".

"I see. For someone like me, a '7' with a horizontal bar looks kind of like the kanji for seven [七] upside down, so I end up getting those confu~used. So you're above me when it comes to that, huh, Araragi-cha~an."

There wasn't really an above or a below in this exchange, but aah, I wanted to have a conversation like this.

I suddenly realized.

When Shinobu—when Princess Acerola, as "Princess Beauty"—went about destroying countries... When she was a human, did she feel the same way as this when she met a vampire?

Even though it was a relationship of eat or be eaten.

The interpretation that they were vampire and thrall, or master and slave, was at odds with the lighthearted way in which she spoke of her as an "old pal".

She had said that she'd reflected from that time with Shishirui Seishirou, so I'd interpreted it as the master-slave relationship having been reversed, but what if it wasn't that? What if Suicidemaster really was just a "friend" to Shinobu?

Like, for example, Kanbaru and Higasa-chan.

According to Hachikuji, Suicidemaster had called Shinobu a friend as well.

A friend, huh.

There had been a fiercely determined class representative who had declared, "If I can't die for someone, I wouldn't call that person a friend". But what if Shinobu wanted to meet Suicidemaster with that in mind?

Did I have the qualification to stop her?

Talking about qualifications at this point was what made me, me—regret may always come too late, but logic always took precedence. If I ultimately acted upon my emotions, then I would most likely act too late to a disgusting extent.

I should learn a bit from my new friend.

What I wanted was not qualifications, but qualities.

"Hmm. Araragi-chan, what's the matter? Thinking about something?"

"No, I'm trying hard not to think about something. So, what's the answer to the code?"

"Like yesterday, I managed to solve it, but it's a dead-end that isn't really refreshing. Even though I managed to decode it, it just leaves me stressed aga~ain. But it ended up being letters of the alphabet aga~ain."

"Alphabet—then, 'D/V/S'?"

"No~ope. This time, it's 'F/C'."

"F/C"?

029

"If 'F/C' are also initials, I wonder if there's someone from the girls' basketball team who has those initials," said Gaen-san, the human representative of logic, after hearing my report.

We were once again in Naoetsu General Hospital, in yet another hospital room different from the three we'd been in earlier—the hospital room where Kanguu Misago-chan's mummy had been put up.

"I wonder if the message was left on a cell phone to hint at that. Since they had matching straps with their initials."

"Aah... That's right, they did have those," I said.

In that sense, I would've had more hints to decipher it than Meniko did.

It wasn't really a contest, but I did find it a bit frustrating.

"By the way, Kanguu-chan also had a strap. Since she's Kanguu Misago, it was 'M K'."

"Eh? But wait, Gaen-san. Wouldn't that mean that the vampire that we're looking for is actually among the members of the girls' basketball team?"

If, not the dying message, but the living message was indicating a specific member's initials, and Suicidemaster was being falsely accused of a crime, then that would be it.

"F C".

"Not necessarily. It could be that Kanguu-chan, in a hazy state of mind, was just trying to write the name of a friend she thought of. Or it's an act of deception to make us think that way. In other words, diversionary tactics by Suicidemaster."

A vampire trying to blame a human for their vampirism—it seemed a little narrow-minded, almost pitiful at that, and not at all in line with the image of a vampire. Well, if we can consider the possibility that the crime is being pinned on Suicidemaster, why can't we consider the opposite?

Taking it to extremes, it was even possible now that this was a diversionary tactic to make us think that everything was fabricated, like a deduction in a honkaku mystery.

Us people of logic.

"You're right. It would be too unexpected a truth for there to be a vampire among the club members."

"I don't remember explicitly denying that possibility. You can't say for sure that there aren't more oddities like you, Koyomin, that put on an air of innocence and casually attend school, right?"

"Again with the jokes."

And this was a bad joke, at that.

The phrasing of "air of innocence" felt like biting words.

"It's not entirely a joke, though. Well, this is just a brute force through all the possibilities at the moment. Like a canvassing operation done by throwing more people at the problem. It's true that, as a result of last night's events, the suspicion placed on Suicidemaster has faded. 'F C' seems like it would be fairly rare for initials, so I'm sure we'll be able to narrow it down to just a few girls out of the hundred on the basketball team..."

As she spoke, Gaen-san began flipping through the register of names borrowed from Higasa-chan, beginning her check. I'd promised not to make any copies of it, so it was the original document.

"For reference, do you mind if I ask, Koyomin? About how the code was deciphered. It's possible that the method can also provide a hint for us."

"Understood. However, I don't think it'll be very relevant."

"I'd like to hear it anyway. I may not exactly be a sciences person, but it's not like I hate number puzzles. It's a great way to exercise the mind and relax."

Relax?

Putting aside exercising the mind... She didn't really look like it, but was Gaen-san actually stressed right now? With this incident taking longer than expected, Kagenui-san drawing closer to the town with every moment, and my betrayal that must not be forgotten, well, there were plenty of things that could be cause for concern.

Well, if revealing the trick is somehow relaxing, then I'll gladly do so.

It's atonement for my infidelity.

"However, this code ended up not being a number puzzle. It had nothing to do with prime numbers, either—though it's still in the sciences, it was not mathematics, but the field of natural sciences."

"Natural sciences? If we're talking about fields, in middle school, they'd divide the natural sciences into the 'first field' for physics and chemistry, and the 'second field' for biology and geology."

"In that respect, it would be the first field—Celsius and Fahrenheit."

In other words, temperature notation.

Like numbers, temperature was the same throughout the world, or perhaps even throughout the universe, and high temperatures were high, low temperatures were low, and absolute zero was absolute zero—but temperature wasn't notated in the same way everywhere. The units differed.

And that difference was Celsius and Fahrenheit.

"Ah—that's why it's 'F' and 'C'?"

As expected of a logical person, she caught on fast. After speaking, Gaen-san flipped the register shut—it seemed she'd finished checking it all.

She was even fast at reading.

"But how does '820/280/610/160' become Celsius and Fahrenheit? Although, since Celsius is 'C' and Fahrenheit is 'F', perhaps I should ask how it becomes Fahrenheit and Celsius."

"For both Celsius and Fahrenheit, a '°' is placed in the top right direction to denote 'degrees'. In the same place where you would write an exponent."

"Do an explanation like that for a science major. I got it just from you saying 'in the top right direction'—don't go off in a completely different direction, Koyomin. And?"

"We look at the '0' in the code and interpret it as a '°'—basically, the '0' in '820', the '0' in '280', the '0' in '610', and the '0' in '160', all the zeroes at the end of the numbers, should not be taken as numbers but as symbols. Then, '820/280/610/160' becomes '82°/28°/61°/16°'."

"Aha. Highest and lowest temperatures, huh?"

That was exactly it.

The code that had been left behind was showing yesterday's temperature, represented in both Celsius and Fahrenheit—just like the Rosetta Stone, which could be described as the originator of cryptanalysis.

However, the essential letters of the alphabet were missing—"F" and "C".

"That's why, 'F/C' becomes the deciphered text to the code. Oh, but if they're initials, you can't really call that a text. But I see. It's amazing that someone could come up with something like that."

"Yes. Checking the daily high and low temperatures may be natural for an athletic person, but even then, I don't think they would have been able to come up with that in their hazy state of mind."

"No, my intention was to praise your friend, Koyomin."

It would be a bit troublesome if you show too much interest in her.

If you point your finger at her.

This was entirely my own self-interest, but I'd like to settle this case before I needed to ask for help with a third code...

But after relying on Hachikuji and getting Shinobu's cooperation and borrowing Kanbaru's house, I'd strayed pretty far from what I'd originally intended, so maybe next time I'd just give up and go to Ougi-chan for help with the cryptanalysis... Although, that girl likes to be befuddling, so she definitely wouldn't just give me the answer straight up like Meniko.

She was also a person of logic. A mysterious form of logic.

But anyway, let's return to the main subject.

For the sake of protecting Meniko, and for the sake of resolving this case.

"But anyway, how many people in the girls' basketball club have the initials 'F C'? Although we'd probably need to check whether that girl has a strap or not..."

Since the first mummy, Harimaze Kie-chan, didn't have a strap on her phone, it wasn't a given that everyone had a matching strap. Perhaps, within the club, that small level of resistance against peer pressure was allowed.

"There were as much as zero people."

"Eh? What did you say?"

"Sorry, that was a weird way to put it. Zero. There were none, is what I meant. Girls with 'F C' as their initials, that is."

030

"Have you looked for the reverse order? You know, when representing the name of a Japanese person, there's the pattern of 'first/last name' and 'last/first name'."

"Of course. There were none like that, either."

Could Meniko's solution have been wrong?

No, there was no way.

"I wonder if we should expand the range of possibilities. Should we include the third-years that have already retired as candidates?"

"Umm..."

It wasn't impossible to ask Higasa-chan through Kanbaru for a list of the OG members, but I wasn't sure. If we expanded it that far, it felt like the possibilities would be endless.

It didn't seem too productive to force the solution into the initials 'F C' and look for a person that matched, either... Rare as the initials might be, it wasn't like there was nobody with those initials.

"We did figure out that the victims were members of the girls' basketball team using the straps as the hint, but like with 'D/V/S', maybe there's a famous vampire with those initials?"

"The vampires here are from overseas, after all. It's normal to add a middle name... It's unnatural to have initials with just two letters."

"Is that so..."

I'd ended up bothering Meniko with this (though she'd been happy about it) and I'd ended up skipping class (though I probably would have skipped class anyway), but it didn't end up being that much of a hint... Well, even Oshino had said that fieldwork was a cycle of futility.

It was important not to dwell on it.

"By the way, Gaen-san. You don't seem to be in that good of a mood, so is it possible that you received more unpleasant news while I was out?"

"Hm? Did it seem that way to you? I was trying to act calm about it, but this onee-san that knows everything must be losing face to receive your concern, Koyomin. Even though I want to be an onee-san you can always rely on."

"No, no. Gaen-san, you're always an older woman that I can rely on..."

"I'm not trying to be a dependable older woman. No, but anyway, Koyomin. Your worries were right on the mark. The contents of a high school girl's cell phone weren't something we should have looked at."

And the fact that it hasn't produced any good results so far is nearly breaking my heart, said Gaen-san as she laid eyes upon the mummy on the bed—the owner of the cell phone, Kanguu Misago-chan.

Having been made to wear a patient gown and laid to rest on the bed... I didn't want to say I was getting familiar with the sight, but I was getting used to it.

When humans become nothing but skin and bones, it's hard to distinguish between them—their height became ambiguous when laid down, and since they were in a sports club, their hair was fairly short, so it was hard to distinguish them that way, too.

Kanbaru had also had a short haircut when she'd been active... Don't tell me it wasn't just because they were in a sports club, but because they were following after Kanbaru...?

Everyone doing the same thing... Hm?

"Even so, this onee-san won't be surprised any more. Seriously, after being shown the ugly side of human relations, I won't even be scared of vampires."

"Being shown? Gaen-san, you're the one who went and looked at it yourself."

"And I have nothing to say in response to that. They say you're not supposed to check your partner's phone, and that's completely true. If you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."

What was in that phone, exactly?

Honestly, if she said it like that, it made me even more curious... However, it probably was better to not ask. For the sake of respecting their privacy, and for the sake of my own health... If Gaen-san ended up like that, I might even end up hospitalized as a result.

And if it wasn't producing any good results, then all the more reason not to.

"Well, I suppose the girls' basketball team is pretty unique. If this sort of thing was commonplace... Well, it's not something I want to think about, as an adult. Their club activities are certainly strange. It felt like they were bullying themselves."

"But aren't all athletic clubs more or less like that? Even more so if you're a powerhouse."

Or rather, a former powerhouse. In the case of Naoetsu High.

Of course, that may have intensified that athletic mindset...

"Mm. I've always had a commander-like nature since I was in high school, but even then, I was still pretty incompatible with those sports-minded people."

"So there was a time when you were a high school girl, Gaen-san."

"It's not like this onee-san was always an onee-san from the moment she was born. Or an older woman."

"That wasn't what I meant... But even so, the hardest person to imagine as a high school girl would probably be Kagenui-san."

She didn't seem like she would be in the liberal arts or the sciences, or in a cultural club or a sports club... What kind of high school girl would she have been?

"That girl was actually a surprisingly diligent student. Although I only knew her as a college student, not a high school student. She's the only one from that trio to graduate without dropping out."

Is that so.

Human beings really couldn't be described one-sidedly, huh.

"Oh nooo. While I carelessly stepped into a colony of high school girls and got my feet stuck in a murky, bottomless swamp, Kagenui will probably arri~ive!"

Even if you lament the word "arri~ive" all cutely like that, that in itself seemed more lamentable.

Please remain a reliable older woman.

"It may be fine for me to think this way, but Gaen-san, aren't you being a little too cautious regarding your junior? She may be a bit uncontrollable, but it's not like she completely ignores the orders you give her, right?"

In the first place, Kagenui-san was coming all the way back from the North Pole because she was called by Gaen-san—plus, if she were truly uncontrollable, she would've ignored any sort of harmless certification and gotten rid of Shinobu and me.

Though she was infinitely violent, that was just a matter of the way she did things, and it should be possible to talk things out—she was a person of logic, too.

"That's right. It's true that, if I explain the circumstances, she might understand the reasoning behind why it's not necessary to exterminate Suicidemaster. It might even be possible to certify her as harmless, with how much of a little girl she's become."

Even while stuck in a bottomless swamp of high school girls, it seemed she'd long since considered the things I'd thought of, with the way she spoke.

"Yes. In fact, as soon as I'd heard that Suicidemaster had broken through Hachikuji-chan's mayoi-ushi barrier, those thoughts had already crossed my mind. It wasn't that Suicidemaster had broken through the barrier with brute force, but simply that she had been weakened to the point that the barrier didn't even react."

"......"

Was that even possible?

It sounded pretty painful and distressing, considering that she was the progenitor who birthed and named the legendary oddity.

"Even in that state, she should still be able to suck the blood of high school girls, so just by being in this town, nothing has changed regarding her being the prime suspect. However, the reason she became a mummy might not be because she was attacked by someone, but because she'd weakened to the point that she entered cryptobiosis by herself."

"In that case, would that mean she was the one to bury herself in the mountain?"

"Yes, it would be safer in the dirt, after all. The cryptobiotic-sleep, hibernation-sleep, dozing-sleep vampire. In that case, perhaps she was attempting to make her way back to Hachikuji-chan who was in charge of immigration control, and collapsed along the way. Well, we're still just brute forcing the possibilities here—the strongest possibility is still that she grew so hungry that she attacked a high school girl, but for now, we can apply the principle of innocent until proven guilty. But the problem is, that won't work on Kagenui."

"...Why is that?"

She sure was stubborn in a weird way.

In a sense, she was pretty laid-back to even put her faith in someone like me, but right now, Gaen-san was being weirdly obstinate in regards to Kagenui-san.

"Well, this is just between us, but they share a bit of a past. The problem at hand, Suicidemaster, and the even bigger problem, Kagenui."

"The problem—and the bigger problem."

"Even if Suicidemaster happened to not be the culprit for this case, and even if it's possible for her to be certified as harmless after not having harmed a human for the past six hundred years—even then, they share a past that makes it impossible to stop Kagenui. Though justice is the only thing that can put that unorthodox onmyouji in check, she's very likely to move out of a personal grudge for this time alone."

G—grudge?

That bundle of justice?

"If I make the wrong move, I may find myself having to excommunicate yet another junior. And I don't want to do that."

031

Kagenui-san's personal grudge probably wasn't something that other people should be prying into, so let's return to the main subject. Although the main subject was a ghost story with intense pressure. But anyway, back to the main subject.

The risk of intruding into her private life had been clearly demonstrated, and Gaen-san, who had hinted at it, didn't dare tell me the details of her past—perhaps she'd let it slip after being embroiled in the high school girls' darkness.

Speaking of being embroiled, it seemed that the reason Gaen-san associated the initials "F C" with the members of the girls' basketball team was not only because of the alphabet strap, but because she'd looked into the darkness of the club displayed on Kanguu Misago-chan's cell phone and had been influenced by it (it seemed she even considered the possibility that, in her dazed state, Kanguu-chan thought she could pin the crime on a team member that she had some friction with). But in the register, there was no one with those initials—and, as long as there was no initial for a middle name included, it likely wasn't the vampire's signature, either.

Before expanding our reach to the OG girls, one more possibility came to my mind.

"What if these aren't initials, but an abbreviation for something in English?"

"Abbreviation? ...In other words, something other than a person's name?"

Normally, Gaen-san would have come up with something in an instant, but at the moment, she'd been caught up in the murky mires of those high school girls... And it could be even more damaging to her as an adult.

I've learned that the private life of others is nothing but poison.

"It probably isn't 'franchise (FC)'—then maybe it's something like 'football club (FC)'?"

It seemed appropriate.

First a basketball club, now a football club.

It also wasn't impossible to interpret it as a franchise of making vampire thralls, forced as it was—but there was no need to twist it that much.

But before we went to Naoetsu High's soccer team, we couldn't forget the other organization in that high school that we should consider.

"'Fan club (FC)'."

"Hm?"

"There was something like that. In the past—well, it wasn't that far in the past—an unofficial fan club for the superstar Kanbaru Suruga."

It was an organization separate from the girls' basketball team, yet was an organization that was strongly influenced by Kanbaru, in a way different from the girls' basketball team.

It was something that came to mind after thinking that all the mummies' hairstyles were the same—let's see, as I recall, that fan club's name was "Kanbaru Soeurs"?

"What's that? Is it something like the Rukawa Kaede Imperial Guard?"

"Exactly. But somehow they ended up getting involved with me and I forced them into disbanding—"

"That's something really scary you're saying as just an introduction, Koyomin. Forced them into disbanding. You really are a delinquent like the rumors say, aren'tcha?"

"I think the remnants of that fan club could be related to this case."

As much as the hypothesis that there was a vampire among the girls' basketball team members was incredible to believe, the possibility that there was a vampire mixed in with Kanbaru Suruga's fan club was just as ridiculous.

But we weren't in a situation where we could afford not to consider ridiculous possibilities just because they were ridiculous.

"That's a fact that this onee-san that knows everything didn't exactly need to know. Ah, yes, but my dear sister had a cheerleading squad like that when she was in high school, too."

"It doesn’t seem like it will have much of a connection, but I suppose I should do something now that I've thought of it. She wasn't a member of the fan club herself, but my little sister is pretty close with that organization, so I'll look into it just a teeny bit."

"Your little sister?"

I looked at Gaen-san's clouded expression.

"My little sister (the bigger one)," I amended.

After hearing that, Gaen-san seemed to relax, smiling.

"You mean Karen-chan. Okay, do as you see fit. But, out of concern—from this old lady's point of view—please don't bring Tsukihi-chan into this. Of course, Koyomin, you were originally the one who said you didn't want to cause trouble for your family, but even discounting the thing with Yozuru, things that go well just don't go well when Tsukihi-chan is involved."

She's talking about you in a pretty amazing way, my little sister (the smaller one).

"And, I apologize for the late report, but Shinobu laid out some conditions for her cooperation in Suicidemaster's interrogation."

I presented an outline of the master-servant reversal to Gaen-san. Even though the plan seemed like it would be laughable regardless of the time, place, or occasion...

"Right, that sounds good."

I received the commander's approval.

Of course, she didn't say anything like "I'll do it, too! Let me be a slave, too!"

"Although, rather than an interrogation, it's practically an undercover operation at this point—but if Suicidemaster mistakenly sees that Shinobu-chan is doing well in this country, then she might end up chattering away without any caution."

Mistakenly. Well, she would certainly be mistaken.

Rather than "doing well", she'd been on the verge of being exterminated, on the verge of being killed, and on the verge of death, and in the end failed to die, turned into a little girl, and then ended up sealed in a teenager's shadow.

At any rate, seeing as I'd gotten the go-ahead to put the plan into action, it was inevitable—I wasn't sure if I could pull off the part of a slave, but I would do what I could.

"In that case, even if it didn't have to do with the fan club, I figure I should have a proper discussion with Kanbaru about this, but is there anything I should be careful about when talking to her? The situation has completely changed from yesterday."

"Something to be careful about... I'd like if you could avoid the storm entirely. I know you might feel a sense of duty, but don't go poking your nose into the murky depths of your juniors."

Her advice was not as a specialist but as a person with more seniority in life, but I wanted Kanbaru, too, to follow these words of Gaen-san, who was called a senior by various people.

Even if I couldn't mention Gaen-san's name.

Even if I doubted that Kanbaru would actually follow them.

"I'll stay at this hospital and do my best with the cell phone analysis while waiting for a report from the search party and preparing for the night."

"I'll meet up with Karen-chan and Kanbaru, and if I have some spare time I'll go drop in on Oikura."

"Putting aside your childhood friend, when it comes to your little sister and Suruga, there's no need to wait up until they come back from school. Koyomin, I think you should go back home at least once for a nap. Though I know all-nighters aren't hard on you thanks to your vampire constitution, you must still be at your limit, right?"

That was true.

Thinking about it, vampires, being nocturnal, did go to sleep in the daytime... Just as Shinobu was doing right now.

The truth was, I'd been working out a plan to drop in on Oikura's place until school let out for the day, but it seemed I'd have to abandon that idea.

Even sleeping was work.

Well, if it was around this time, that mathematics maniac was probably in class, too...

"Ah. I know. I'll split the difference and go to Oikura's place to sleep. I have a spare key, after all."

"Childhood friendships are pretty hard for other people to pry into, huh."

032

I decided to just go to my own home. Of course I needed to catch up on sleep, but I wanted to take a bath, too. Alas, I didn't have any clothes to change into at Oikura's place. I'll do something about that later.

Afterwards, I thought about saying thanks to Ononoki-chan for last night—since I'd left in a hurry, I hadn't been able to talk to her about how she relayed Hachikuji's message to me, or how she called over Gaen-san to the mountain after that.

From Ononoki-chan's point of view, I'd gotten a fortune slip and left all of a sudden, and then decided to go to hell—I probably seemed pretty weird to her... I couldn't bear being thought of as a weird guy by Ononoki-chan.

With both parents working, the first daughter a high schooler, and the second daughter a middle schooler, the Araragi house was generally empty in the daytime—I would be able to speak to Ononoki-chan, who'd infiltrated the house as a stuffed doll, without reservations.

It was one thing to give my thanks, but I figured I may as well tell her that Kagenui-san was approaching this town like a hurricane—for Gaen-san and me, it was an approach that was currently fairly inconvenient, but it could be good news for Ononoki-chan, who idolizes (?) Kagenui-san as an "onee-chan".

Because Ononoki-chan was busy with something else, she wasn't participating in this incident, but it wasn't like she was intentionally left out of the loop, unlike Shinobu until she found out—if the conversation went well, perhaps I'd be able to learn about the past between Suicidemaster and Kagenui-san, which I had failed to ask about, or rather, which I had wanted to hear but didn't want to hear.

Perhaps those ulterior motives led to my ruin, for when I arrived home, it was not just my parents and sisters but also that expressionless, frilly-dressed stuffed doll that was absent.

It seemed that young girl was even busier than public servants and middle school students, though not college students.

Well, I'd like to hear as much as what she had to say, but I didn't think it was a past that I wanted to dig into myself... If anything, maybe what I should be doing is to let the foreshadowing die so that her past doesn't get revealed?

Araragi Koyomi, killing the foreshadowing.

With that, feeling a mix of disappointment and relief, I took a shower and crawled into bed.

It seemed I'd been more tired than I realized (perhaps out of worry, too), so I slept soundly until the afternoon, waking only to the sound of Karen's return—despite her training in martial arts, she was a lot noisier in her movements, so it was easy to hear.

"Yo, Karen-chan. By the way, I wanted to ask about Kanbaru's fan club."

"That's way too direct. I haven't even taken off my shoes yet! At least welcome me back. You gotta have some sort of introduction before starting off the main topic with a 'by the way'. What happened?"

Araragi Karen. 16 years old.

She was super tall. My bigger little sister.

Tsuganoki Private High School first-year. She did not take part in any clubs, and continued to attend a martial arts dojo—something like that.

Also, her hairstyle returned to a ponytail.

"Kanbaru-sensei's fan club? Ah, aah. The one that nii-chan smashed up, huh."

"If I didn't break them up, they would've broken me. Just remembering it now, it's super scary."

The fact that she was still calling her Kanbaru-sensei was pretty considerable, but then again, the way Karen yearned for Kanbaru was... pretty unique.

I couldn't exactly give a thorough explanation of the circumstances, so I simply said, "Have you heard anything about, say, them having resumed activities?" and continued the conversation without explaining my reasons.

"Mmm. No, I don't think they have. When an organization like that comes apart once, it's pretty hard to reorganize."

"Is that so?"

"The crux, Kanbaru-sensei, retired, after all. Fans easily heat up and easily cool down."

I see... I guess it was like that.

Just as Karen said, if Kanbaru had continued to be active, then perhaps the fan club could have been passed down to the next generation, but now that the target of their admiration had retired, it was probably hard to gather new members.

And Kanbaru herself wasn't the kind of person that liked attracting that kind of attention, too—I had to admit I felt a bit elated at the inspiration of reading the deciphered code "F/C" as fan club... But I guess it wasn't that easy.

When comparing the girls' basketball team, of which Kanbaru had been a member, with the fan club, which was unofficial and separate... The quality was certainly different—if it became a fan club full of stoicism that could enforce ironclad laws without the actual person in question, it would be one of the best in Japan.

If only it had been "C/F", then it could at least have been read as "center forward", a basketball position...

Well, whether the culprit was in the girls' basketball team or in the fan club, it didn't change the reality that the vampire might be nonchalantly attending Naoetsu High—if that was even possible.

Of course, even though Gaen-san had been trying to implicate me, there were quite a few students that had gotten entangled with oddities, like Senjougahara Hitagi, Hanekawa Tsubasa, Kanbaru Suruga, or Oshino Ougi.

Well, a high school girl being a vampire did make for a prettier picture than a high school boy being a vampire—oh yeah.

"Karen-chan. You're a high school girl now, right?"

"What's with that, all of a sudden? But, that's right. I've become able to get married."

"That's not because you're a high school girl, it's because you've turned 16 years old. If anything, you've gotten harder to marry. Especially for me."

"Nii-chan, for you I'm the most difficult person in the world to marry. I'm your little sister!"

"How does it feel to be a high school girl? Is everything going well with your new friends?"

Regrettably, I pretended to be an overprotective older brother and started a survey to try and collect some live opinions—could even Karen be mired in the murky depths that had been a downer for the easygoing Gaen-san?

"I dunno what sort of school life you mean by 'going well', but this new world is pretty fun. I almost want to go to school on the weekends, too."

That's pretty insane.

But that's true, it's not like all high school girls have a dark side to them. There are individual differences, and it depends on the environment and the situation.

To put it in a good way, Karen's personality was endlessly bright, and to put it in a bad way, she was endlessly idiotic, but that wasn't just it—when surrounded by a stiff atmosphere, even the brightest idiot would lose some of that excitement. However, Karen was a follower of Kanbaru—

"—Oh yeah. Can I ask one more thing, Karen-chan?"

"What is it now? Today, it's all questions and no groping my boobs, huh."

"Don't talk like groping your boobs is a regular occurrence. I'm not going to touch them. This year."

"It was a problem when you've been touching them for the last year. Touching a girl's boobs like you were kneading clay. And? What's the question you were gonna ask?"

"You know the Fire Sisters, that you and Tsukihi-chan were a part of? You guys disbanded after you graduated, right? What happened after that?"

"Whaddya mean what happened. I told you, didn't I? Now, Tsukihi-chan's working hard on her own as Moon Fire."

I may have heard that before, but regrettably, the information she had on her sister was a bit vague.

Not that I could speak for others, considering I was the same way when it came to that sister.

What I wanted to ask was how the community of Tsuganoki 2nd Middle School changed after Karen, the mainstay and core of the school, left, like with the girls' basketball team—wasn't there anything like a war to be the replacement for Tsukihi's partner, or any sort of factional strife?

"Oh, for that, Tsukihi-chan, as the staff officer, handled it pretty well. For better or worse, Tsukihi-chan thinks she's so special that she doesn't expect anyone else, including me, to be able to imitate her."

I see. I'd been worried about my youngest sister's (excessive) self-consciousness, but that was an insight.

As is often the case with hard-working superstars, Kanbaru's self-esteem was quite low, and she had a tendency to believe that "anyone can do what I can do if they work hard enough"—that was something I could appreciate from a human perspective. However, if someone that was charismatic on a national level said such empty words as "if you work hard, your dreams will come true", then it would lead to a generation of people that actually buy into it.

Even though it wasn't Kanbaru's fault, the current state of the girls' basketball team was probably a climate formed by such a belief in hard work.

If I had to say it, when Kanbaru retired from the club because of her left arm, she should've picked a proper successor instead of leaving everything to Higasa-chan—though it was useless to say that now.

"Tsukihi-chan is basically a 'wasted effort is wasted' kind of girl. She'll say stuff like, 'Instead of hard work, just do what needs to be done!' 'If you put in wasted effort, you'll get even farther away from your dreams!'"

"I can't say that leaves a good impression..."

"She'd always insist, 'Find a way to make yourself a lucky boy or Cinderella girl!'"

"Tsukihi-chan probably shouldn't publish any business books. Speaking of which, it worries me that Tsukihi-chan, a middle school student, is coming home later than you, a high school student. Rub rub. What in the world is Moon Fire up to now that she's gone independent?"

"I dunno either. Rather than being independent, Tsukihi-chan's always been a dependent person with an independent spirit. Nii-chan, what were those rubbing sound effects you tried to mix in for the first time this year, without even trying to get them lost in the confusion? And I've heard rumors that you were helping out a magical girl, but how much of that is true?"

"Hmm."

Especially with Kagenui-san's return, I wanted Tsukihi to stay quiet, but she wasn't exactly the kind of sister that listened to her brother.

If I'd been able to talk with Ononoki-chan, I could've asked for her to do something about that... Rather than worry, it made me a little anxious.

Being a big brother was a lifetime job.

"Then, Karen-chan. I'm going to leave the house now, and I don't think I'll be coming back today, so in the meantime, watch over Tsukihi-chan carefully, all right?"

"You mean, today also, right? College students shouldn't be so flashy with their playing around at night. Your new life is an important time for you, too, nii-chan. I don't want to see you get burned like you did when you became a high schooler."

"Those are useful words. Worthy of engraving onto a chest."

"Don't engrave them on my chest!"

033

My fearless (of even a god) strategy to get Hachikuji to sit in the child seat ended in failure.

In transporting the ancient vampire from the Kitashirahebi Shrine to Kanbaru's house while waiting for her awakening (sunset), I'd proposed the formation of putting Hachikuji in the passenger seat and Suicidemaster in the back seat, but considering the size of the target of transportation, I was defeated by the logic that it would be legally safer to secure Suicidemaster, a six-year-old girl, in the child seat.

Well, considering that, in terms of outward appearance, Hachikuji was fixed in the form of a ten-year-old in fifth grade, it was already kind of impossible to fit her in a child seat—and Hachikuji was fairly grown for a ten-year-old. Over the past year, I'd directly felt her measurements with my own hands, so this was for certain. Of course, if the child seat itself were to break, it would be the end of everything.

It was a child seat I hoped to use for many years to come.

However, I'd been worried that Suicidemaster would suddenly go berserk in the middle of the day after being taken out of the shrine and lowered from the sacred mountain, so I consulted with Gaen-san on the phone and ended up applying further seals before securing her in the child seat.

The seals that Hachikuji applied as instructed by Gaen-san were, in simple terms, a blindfold and shackles on her arms and legs, but the image of a blindfolded, shackled little girl in white clothes fastened to a child seat honestly did not make me feel the slightest bit of safety in the legal sense.

If I were to go through police questioning, it wouldn't just end with my license being revoked.

My life would be revoked. Societally.

"A~ah. It was fairly controversial for Araragi-san, who loved his bicycle, to start riding around in a car, but I have to admit that the mobility of a car is certainly different. You can go all over the place, in every direction!"

Hachikuji herself seemed rather happy-go-lucky from the back seat—incidentally, she was in outing mode, which meant she'd changed from her white clothing to her clothes for an outing through the town, with her rucksack on her back.

She was sitting backwards, looking out the rear window, and flapping her legs—was it like a field trip for her?

"Hachikuji. Did your daytime stroll have any results? If you went around looking but couldn't find it, then that would mean the fifth mummy has yet to be made—maybe?"

"I'm not sure. If my godly eyes were able to reach every corner of this town without any problems, you could say this incident would not have happened in the first place. Although it's not that I regret allowing Suicidemaster-san to pass through without security."

"Well, sure."

From Hachikuji's point of view, she might even be a lifesaver—upon Suicidemaster-chan's arrival in Japan, it wouldn't have been odd if she had trampled Hachikuji underfoot, mountain and all.

Even though she was a god, our Hachiku-jin wasn't all-powerful—even in her weakened state, it could be possible for Suicidemaster to defeat even an athletic high school girl in a single blow.

"Hachiku-jin? Please stop. Don't give me a weird nickname. It seems your respect for gods is lacking, you know?"

Hachikuji did a half-turn and took her seat in the normal position.

"I knew that, with the case of Shishirui Seishirou-san, Shinobu-san had messed up twice, after all. I hoped that this could be an opportunity to wipe away that irreversible trauma—although, it would be a lie to say that I wasn't worried about letting Suicidemaster-san meet Shinobu-san, who was currently practically enslaved by a human."

That's why I'm all for the master-servant reversal, said Hachikuji.

"Although, I think it would be better to be honest about it afterwards. It would be sad to lose a friendship because of vanity. When I was alive, there was a boy in my class that I was close to, but because I'd been too vain—"

"Let's save that story for another time, Hachikuji. When Gaen-san called earlier and taught us about the sealing methods, I tried probing a bit, but it doesn't seem like they've found the fifth mummy yet."

"You seem way too uninterested in my flashback scene, Araragi-san."

"The analysis of the cell phone is still in progress, but it doesn't seem like there's any traces of her having made a call or sent a text or used an app since Kanguu-chan went missing, so it's hard to pin down the time of the crime. In other words, we still don't have proof of Suicidemaster's alibi."

I glanced at the little girl in the passenger seat.

The golden-haired little girl fixed in the child seat, in white clothing, blindfolded, arms and legs shackled.

"Is that so? Well, my credibility is at stake, too. I'll cooperate to the full extent of my power. Is it fine if I pretend to be a slave, too? Uhehehe."

"You sound less like a vampire's slave and more like a slave to money. Mm, I've thought about it, but..."

"So you've thought about it? Turning Hachikuji Mayoi into a slave?"

"But ultimately, a vampire's slave should be at least a little vampiric, or the lie will be found out. If it were Ononoki-chan, I may have just barely asked her to, but she's on bad terms with Shinobu. Plus, she's away at the moment, so it seems I'll have to be the only slave. If anything, Hachikuji, you can act as the local deity and be a guarantor for the relationship between Shinobu and me."

Not a bondsman, but a bondsgod.

It seemed rather apt.

Just as we were about to arrive at Kanbaru's house, the cell phone that I had left in the cup holder between the driver and passenger seats buzzed. This time, a call from Gaen-san—had the fifth mummy, Kiseki-chan's mummy, finally been discovered?

I felt slightly nervous, but I was driving, after all, so there was no way I could be the one to pick it up.

I'll leave it to my secretary.

"Who are you calling your secretary? Yes, hello? This is Hachikuji."

Seems like you've taken a liking to it.

"Araragi is currently driving. Yes. Yes. —Yes, I see. Understood. I'll let him know."

Finishing up the short phone call, Hachikuji returned the cell phone to its original position.

"What was it. Did we make any progress?"

"Rather than progress, it's more like we've fallen backwards."

That was Hachikuji's response.

"Putting aside the 'F C' initials, it seems they've completed their brute-force investigation of the remaining members of the girls' basketball team who were on the register, but everyone has been confirmed to be safe."

Everyone was confirmed to be safe?

"Isn't that a good thing? It's the first good news we've heard in a while. What's so backward about good news that's really worth celebrating?"

"The fact that they're safe means that they're also innocent—the results of the investigation made it clear that there is no vampire among the remaining members of the basketball team."

Back to square one.

034

The girls' basketball team members were cleared of suspicion, the fan club was also cleared of suspicion, and there were no signs of another vampire that could be associated with "F/C".

With this, Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster wasn't just the prime suspect, she was the only suspect—the only reason that could lead me to believe that she was innocent would be Shinobu's testimony that "Suicidemaster, whose diet is unbalanced to the point of refusing food, would never suck the blood of an immature high school girl".

Tonight's interrogation was becoming increasingly important—it wasn't an exaggeration to say that everything depended on my ability to act as a slave.

I never thought that I would get the opportunity to become a slave to a little girl and deceive another little girl, but I guess I never really know where life will go.

There were many things that made me think that my high school years were the peak of my life, but as I lived on, there were many more interesting things occurring.

And with that, a greeting to my sponsor, Kanbaru.

The sealed little girl and the deified girl had been left in the New Beetle parked in the parking lot of Kanbaru's home—of course, I'd made sure the air conditioner was left on. It certainly wouldn't do if I left two children in a car and came back to find that they'd been mummified.

"Hiya, Araragi-senpai. We only just saw each other yesterday, but it feels like it's been so long ago."

"It hasn't been that long!"

"Yes, now here, the key to the house. Use it however you like."

I figured it was impossible for an ordinary person to imitate this sort of openness—if you tried too hard to act simple, you'd crumble under the stress.

However, they say a person is only as unhappy as the number of keys they have... I wonder how many keys I will have in my lifetime.

"Tonight, we decided to hold a pajama party at Higasa's place. If you've made any progress with the matter from yesterday, I can pass it onto her."

It wasn't progress, but falling backwards.

But it was a bit hard to say that.

However, I couldn't turn back now, and I was committed to it—I wasn't going to pretend that I didn't know anything about the girls' basketball team now.

Regardless of the outcome of this case, I should work together with Kanbaru and Higasa to come up with a plan to reform, or perhaps break down, the current situation. Without going against Gaen-san. She'd called it a pajama party, but it seemed it was actually a gathering of the OGs of the girls' basketball team to brainstorm about the current situation of the younger team members...

This had nothing to do with Karen's remarks, but as a former near-dropout of that high school, I couldn't just leave behind the students that seemed like they would drop out. Even if it was odd to speak of me, who nearly dropped out on my own, and the club members, who were about to drop out because of their stranglehold from club activities, in the same breath.

"Oh yeah, Kanbaru. When you ended up reuniting with Hitagi-san, the senior that you yearned for, at Naoetsu High, what kind of airs did you put on?"

"Airs? What do you mean by that?"

Of course.

Even if the person she was talking to was a senior she admired, she wasn't the type to pretend to be something that she wasn't—she was the type of person to charge in just as she was. If anything, it was maybe Hitagi-san that was likely to put on airs at the time.

Or display her stubbornness.

As a result, it would end up taking over a year before Senjougahara Hitagi and Kanbaru Suruga, the Valhalla Combination, would reunite.

"Huh. You're talking as if you're looking for wisdom in regards to Shinobu-chan reuniting with an old acquaintance!"

"I didn't talk like that!"

I didn't even bring up Shinobu's name!

She certainly was Gaen-san's niece, and I couldn't let down my guard—if I let something slip, this capable junior might decide to get involved all on her own.

She might decide to pretend to be a slave all on her own.

As someone who felt badly about the fact that I'd gotten her involved in the case of Shishirui Seishirou because of my own personal circumstances, this was a situation I wanted to avoid.

I needed to make up some reason to change the subject and get rid of her as soon as possible.

"Oh yeah, Kanbaru."

"Araragi-senpai, you sure come up with things frequently, don't you. What is it?"

"There's one more thing I wanted to ask of you—"

035

Though we'd settled on Kanbaru's place for our choice of location, it would be effectively impossible to clean up my junior's disastrously messy room before sunset, and, even if she'd told me to use the house however I liked, it certainly wouldn't do to infringe upon the territory of her grandfather and grandmother, so we ultimately decided upon using the Japanese mansion's garden for the revival of Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster.

Much like at Ryōan-ji, it was a Japanese rock garden.

Well, even if it was a measure of desperation, the mansion gave off much more of a castle-like impression when viewed from outside rather than being inside.

Yesterday, it had felt like I'd greeted nightfall feeling like I'd run out of time without doing everything I had to do, but today, it felt like I'd done everything I could and was greeting the night having run out of material. Now, I wonder what will happen?

"Thanks for waiting. So, shall we begin?"

At the moment the sun had set about halfway, Gaen-san appeared with a one shou bottle—the ones to welcome her were me; Shinobu, who had woken up early and crawled out of my shadow; Hachiku-jin, our witness; and Suicidemaster, who had been laid down—it seemed a little too pitiful to lay a restrained little girl on the bare ground, so I'd put down a rush mat (I'd found the rush mat in Kanbaru's room—why did she have something like that?).

All the actors were in place.

The show must go on.

"I've set up a barrier going all the way around the mansion, so if by some chance a battle breaks out, we'll be fine."

"That 'some chance' is what I'd like to avoid... But, Gaen-san. What's with that bottle?"

"Well, I am a specialist, after all. Wine would be better for vampires, but I figured we could do this the Japanese way, with sacred sake for a demon."

I guess I couldn't rely on crosses and holy water in a Japanese mansion with a shrine's god present... Her behavior was as if she'd come to a late-night drinking party, but in this Japanese mansion it held an air of sophistication.

"You should've come in full dress, then."

"Did you want to see me in shrine maiden's clothes, Koyomin? Unfortunately, I don't respect formalities and ceremonies as much as Meme does. I may be a pacifist, but at the same time, I'm a rationalist."

Indeed, now that I thought about it, that careless-seeming middle-aged Hawaiian shirt guy was surprisingly pretty picky about arrangements and whatnot to the point of irrationality... And looking closely, Gaen-san's bottle was just a bottle of cheap sake from a discount store... It was a bit difficult to call that sacred sake.

I guess it's the Gaen way to push through what's difficult.

"Goodness, I never thought I'd be visiting the Kanbaru house that rejected my dear sister like this—the wheel of fate sure turns."

As she spoke in an amused manner, Gaen-san casually turned over the one shou bottle and poured it over the body of the little girl.

Rather than occult ceremony, if anything, it seemed more like the "magic kettle" thing they did in rugby clubs.

Good, judging from that composed demeanor of hers, it seemed Gaen-san had managed to safely get through the murky swamp of the high school girls.

"Ooh. White clothing getting wet and sticking to a little girl's body... Kind of erotic, don't you think?"

Hachikuji made a vulgar remark, unbecoming of a god—for the record, though I hadn't touched upon it (double meaning) out of kindness, when you were meditating under a waterfall for a joke yesterday, you looked the same way, y'know?

Putting that aside.

"By the way, Shinobu-sama."

"...... Hm? Ah, you mean me, my master?"

She wasn't getting into her role at all.

Her servile disposition was so deeply ingrained in her.

"I mean, my servant. What is it?"

"Even if you catch it right away... Well, it's fine. Listen, Shinobu-sama. My master. Would you allow me the honor of inquiring something of you?"

"If you bring that quality of acting to the real thing, it'll be your fault if we get found out, my mast... my servant."

I think it would be both our faults.

But since we didn't have time, I continued instead of retorting.

"I haven't really thought too deeply about this until now, but... What's it like, living for six hundred years?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, if I may be permitted to speak for myself, I believe I have undergone quite a few changes, just looking back over the past year."

"Speak normally. I can't tell what you're saying at all."

Right.

I didn't even know what I was saying at all.

"In the course of our lives, we change our opinions, change our minds, realize our mistakes, and learn right from wrong, right? I won't make friends, because my strength as a human would decrease—when I used to say that, I really believed it, and I don't think I could have believed back then that I would have normal friends in college."

And that was in just a single year.

If that had been six hundred years—I'd ended up suddenly wondering how I would feel when I looked back on the past.

"I can't tell what you're saying at all, even when you're talking normally—after all, I've been quick to cast away the past that I can't remember."

Was it because she couldn't remember, or because she didn't want to remember? She probably didn't even remember that.

Well, it's fine. I just wanted something to say at the last minute—not even I, speaking normally, could tell what I was saying at all.

Just because they were meeting again after six hundred years, didn't mean they had to make the same decisions they made six hundred years ago—is that what I wanted to say? However—if I ran into Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade on the verge of death in an alleyway again, what if I would offer up my neck again, just like I had done a year ago?

"In the first place, before oddities are immortal, they're unchanging, universal. They don't change so frequently, like humans do."

"Then, let me ask you the same thing I did in that spring break. Shinobu, to you..."

To you, what are humans?

When Oshino Shinobu had not been Oshino Shinobu, when she had been the vampire, Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade, she had responded immediately.

She'd responded—"food".

But for Shinobu now, that was incorrect.

Even under the premise that she was sealed—but when you took that out, it was still incorrect.

However, what she would respond was another matter entirely—and it was as if Shinobu had been caught off guard, because for a moment, she fell silent. But, as if aiming for that moment...

"O devourer, o imbiber, o lurker! Now that the holy sun has set, tear open the coffin and rise! Boil the flesh in blood, and stir it with the bones!"

Gaen-san started chanting something like a magic spell that had taken the world by storm a few decades ago—it seemed like a joke, but it was for real, right?

"Come together with the night! Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster!"

It seemed like the sort of hackneyed incantation that I would've been convinced if she'd said, "Just kidding," but in that instant, the little girl soaked in cheap sake began to glow gold—or so it seemed.

But it was just my imagination, and my misunderstanding.

In actuality, the girl who had been sleeping as if she were dead had suddenly opened her eyes—the blindfold flew open, revealing two eyes as golden as her hair, and it had felt to me as if they were glowing.

Miss Suicidemaster's facial features, who had previously appeared as expressionless as Ononoki-chan's, became clearer as she awoke—though they had the same golden hair and golden eyes, she gave off a different impression from Shinobu.

The sake that had been sprinkled over her evaporated in an instant—not only the shackles on her arms and legs, but even the sash of her white clothing flew off, just like her blindfold.

Had Gaen-san broken the seal, or had the little girl herself broken it? It wasn't clear from afar—but if anything, my impressions were more towards the latter, and I couldn't help but think, "What part of her is weakened?"

I was just beginning to regret my thoughtless act of treatment, which made me recall my actions last spring break, and was wondering if it would have been better to leave her as a mummy, but then...

Creak!

The little girl's face turned towards me.

Lying on her side, only her head turned to look towards me—no.

Not me. Those golden eyes had fixed their gaze upon the one standing on my shadow, the other little girl in this garden—within moments of waking up, the ancient vampire had sensed her former thrall.

And then.

"Ha."

She said.

"Ha." "Ha."

She said.

"Ha." "Ha." "Ha."

She said.

"Ha! Ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

She said—sprawled out on the ground, from the lowest position imaginable, her laugh rang out louder than I could have imagined.

And in response to that loud laugh, Shinobu, who had borne vivid witness to her former "master"'s revival—

"Ha."

She said.

"Ha." "Ha."

She said.

"Ha." "Ha." "Ha."

She said.

"Ha! Ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

She—laughed in return.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

If it weren't for the barrier, their loud exchange laughter would surely have disturbed the neighbors—it was like microphone feedback. How long had it gone for?

Six hundred years. A thousand years.

Did it go on for eternity?

It was quite the uproarious bout of laughter, as if Gaen-san and Hachikuji and I weren't even there in that garden, but it was finally brought to an end.

"Somehow or other, it seems I've died again."

That was the remark from the little girl on her back.

And, hearing that, Shinobu shrugged her shoulders.

"It seems we've both grown old," she said.

The two little girls had reunited for the first time in six hundred years.

[the-family-fortune]

Earlier today Cali asked me quite possibly the worst thing you CAN ask me

And boy howdy did I have some thoughts. 

idk if ive mentioned it here before or not but I have a lot of feelings about the idea of redemption in psy2. I LIKE the idea that no one is beyond redemption, that people can be good and that we are all, at our core, just hurting. and those are the themes that psychonauts plays with. mental illnesses that are seen as "scary" like the inmates (though the inmates themselves are rarely presented as scary, with maybe the exception of Edgar because he's just. huge.) - bipolar mood swings with inexplicable rage, Edgar's anger issues and sheer strength combined into an intimidating figure, and the stigma of multiple personalities like how Fred acts meek one second and then on the warpath the next when he "switches". All of these oooh scary mental illnesses are literally just people grappling with trauma. Edgar's OCD and the trauma from high school, Fred's... weird genetic memory issues, and Gloria's inner critic and the death of her mother. These things are like, Normal People Problems (sorry fred idk what the fuck is up with u buddy ur on another level all together) and really contextualize the inmates' mental illness in a way that emphasizes the main theme of empathy. 

I intentionally leave Boyd out of this because while the root of his mental illness is schizoaffective paranoia, his ROLE as the Milkman and in fact his entire mindscape is the product of Oleander's hypnosis.

So like, I VIBE WITH THAT, its a really really interesting take on the conversation about mental illness and how these things do not make people inherently bad or scary!!

But I feel like, BASED ON WHAT WE KNOW RIGHT NOW, that the Galochios - or, at the very least, Zalto on his own - fall into a different kind of category.

The Galochios from the start are jealous people. They're jealous of the Aquato's fame and think that they deserve more recognition which in and of itself isn't a bad thing per se - wanting to feel appreciated and recognized and seen is just a basic human desire, I think. But jealousy isnt a mental illness. Jealousy is a natural human emotion that we, as rational and empathetic people, must make the conscious choice to deal with in healthy ways. The Galochios don't, and they let that consume them from the start - where they allow themselves to hate the Aquatos for their fame, where they allow themselves to ostracize Marona, where they drive her out of the family and where they attempt to drag her back, it's not the product of mental illness destroying relationships like someone in Edgar's position might experience, but pure pride and jealousy directed towards the Aquato family.

And like from there its just all downhill

And I could argue that from this point things compound to create a mental landscape that maybe isnt the picture of health in the Galochios, because grief can really, really fuck you up, and regardless of how they acted, losing a daughter or a sister when Marona died, could not have been easy.

But I cannot read "the Galochios crowded around the tank to gleefully watch Lazarus's decapitation" and be like "aw they're just hurting 8(" because mental illness is not synonymous with undue cruelty.

Like the Galochios at every turn are presented with A Choice and by god they're determined to make the wrong one. Whether or not this is motivated by grief or jealousy or whatever doesnt matter, because even when you are mentally ill it is still the bare minimum to not gleefully watch someone you dont like get decapitated, u know?

That is, I think, them consumed by jealousy and hate and seeing nothing wrong with it because it benefits them and hurts people they dont like. Thats. that's not mental illness that's just being an asshole

So while I absoLUTEly vibe with Psychonaut's theme of empathy and compassion and understanding that mental illness isnt bad or scary, and that we're all struggling with something, I think that narrative has two sides to it, and the same way that "we're all struggling with something" lends to the idea that we need to extend compassion to others, the Galochios being so stubbornly cruel as to be irredeemable in the narrative of psychonauts two lends to the equally important theme of "but you can not sacrifice yourself for people who do not WANT help"

Because of the nature of the things the Galochios have done (and perhaps, are still doing, as we move into the secrets behind the RoR and Psy2 narrative) I think that it would take a LOT. A LOT. for the writing to pass off a Galochio redemption in a meaningful and complete way, because of the nature of the choices they make. From what I know about them right now, these are not the actions of people who are... hallucinating grandeur or some greater purpose who believe in some hidden agenda like Boyd. From what I can gather and what we already know about the Galochio backstory, this is just the kind of people they are. 

 Now, taking into account Zalto specifically, I can without a doubt see him having some major psychological damage. Like I said earlier, grief can really, really fuck you up, and Zalto experienced more grief than reasonable, all at once, with the tank accident. He was already not the most stable person. ("But Daisy!" I hear you cry, "Augustus lost his entire family in a year and didn't snap like that!" True but look me in the eye and tell me you think he's coped with it in a healthy manner. Augustus experienced unreasonable amounts of grief and as a result his ten year old thinks he wants him dead.)

So if that turns out to be the case, and we see a level where we actually do deal with that grief in a healthy way (which imo would be very interesting to see the trauma of grief treated the same as mental illness - even though we all experience grief at some point, sooooome of us dont quite take it as well as others, whoops!) we could see the baseline path to a Zalto redemption.

But really it all boils down to responsibility for their actions and how they handle their trauma and the fact that eight Aquatos were murdered does not automatically become sympathetic because Zalto was dealing with grief. I personally, would be really interested to see the Galochios as villains end the game as villains and for that stubbornness and unwillingness to accept empathy or help be shown as their downfall, because irl its incredibly unhealthy and self-destructive to refuse help or refuse to SEEK help when you very clearly know that something is hurting you, and that you are in turn hurting others.

I also REALLY don't want them to be given the Oleander treatment.

As much as I love Oleander, I feel like a lot about his character was mismanaged, and he was turned into comedic relief in RoR.

like. A lot of my thoughts on the psy2 narrative as a whole relies heavily on the li-po document of course but the story that we were given IN psy1 vs the story that we are told in the document are so STARKLY different.

"Oleander wants to take over the world because he's angry at tall people from that time from that time his dad killed his bunny, which traumatized him" is NOT the same as "Oleander spent his formative years FIRMLY BELIEVING that his father saw him as a burden because he was small, thought he was nothing better than pig slop, and witnessed the death of an animal that he had a psychic connection to, after which he spent his entire life attempting to make his father proud only to be rejected by every branch of the military. By the time he was finally a Psychonaut and felt he would be able to make his father proud despite his stature, both of his parents died horribly in a meat grinder accident while he was away training." 

 NOT THE SAME HOLY SHIT.

Oleander had so much POTENTIAL but he was kinda shoehorned into a very two-dimensional role. Idk if it was because of budget or time or what, because the production of psy1 was very..... not great. But its absolutely a SHAME to see such a heartbreaking backstory reduced to "short and angry about it"

And it absolutely cheapens his redemption, too.

The fact that Oleander's story was so heavily pruned COMBINED with the fact that - while it's hinted at in game, its honestly INSANELY difficult to put two and two together imo because of how its presented, Ford outright tells us that Oleander's assignment to whispering Rock was the cause of his mental break (the camp sits on a motherload of psitanium. It makes psychics more psychics, and unstable people more unstable.")

that's never once brought into the resolution of Oleander's character arch and the processing of his trauma and how the psychonauts directly contributed to his deteriorating mental state that led him to try and take over the world because they so deeply misunderstand psitanium but decided to build a kids summer camp training facility on top of it

thats like... early experimentation with nuclear materials before we understood the dangers of radiation. Not to stay topical or anything, but its a clearly dangerous substance that the Psychonauts treat very blase.

But to get back on track there, I really hope that if the Galochios DO receive a redemption arc in psy2, which seems likely given the overarching theme of the games themselves even extending to Loboto of all people... I hope they don't butcher it like they did with Oleander's. Given that they've had five years and a LOT more experience with this genre and its storytelling conventions (plus the fact that they're just excellent storytellers to begin with) I have a cautious optimism that whatever happens with the Galochios it will at least be a satisfying conclusion. (For comparison, Oleander's butchered redemption is still kinda held together by the satisfying conclusion of the game, in which Raz actually becomes a Psychonaut so that isnt to say that psy1 didnt have a satisfying conclusion) 

and at this point im sure you're regretting telling me to talk as much as i want because if there's one thing you ought to know about me by now its that i never shut up about the Galochios and honestly I've had a lot of thoughts about them and the themes of Psychonauts and the general structure of storytelling in the Psychonauts games overall.

As for the Galochio family themselves, I'm fascinated to see exactly who survived and what the power structure of the remaining Galochios is. If Zalto makes the final cut, I want VERY badly to know how he treats his family and if his anger has kinda pervaded what was probably a long time ago a relatively tight knit family. I want to see the individuals involved in this, how far they're each willing to go and where that lies in relation to Zalto. Like everyone has their moral limits, and if Zalto is utterly consumed by his goal to either obliterate the Aquatos or resurrect his family (shudder) his tolerance for atrocities may be much higher than that of his family members, which would automatically sow dissonance within the family when one by one people start deciding this is too much, this is too far, we cant keep doing this.

[weraceasone]

Hi elle, regarding your response to Max anon. I think Max is just an easy person to hate. Because he's harsh, he's just bluntly honest and he has an i dont care all attitude. He has a foul mouth, and he does things without thinking. I agree with you, that he definitely deserves a lot of the heat he receives, but to the extend that people will hate him for breathing?? i don't think so. Its important we criticise him for the bad things he's done, but i see people apologising for even posting about him, get death threats for supporting him. They don't only hate Max, they hate people who support him and I feel its all gotten out of hand, no?

He's aggressive, you're right, in both driving and during the times we can see him (i wont say off track bcs idk Max so idk how he is); but Charles is also aggressive in his driving, he's gone for a gap that's not there so many times and no one says he's a shit driver like they did Max—Of course, Charles just has to mature in his driving, evidently Max is now less rash and reckless in his driving, its something you learn over time. He's aggressive when he kicks the car, the wall, when he swears on radio when he loses a pole or his car isn't working, I agree. I hate that he is too. He swears a lot especially to GP, but GP still has a good relationship with him. Daniel has destroyed his and Max's driver's room in anger and I haven't seen any criticism for it. Drivers have told their engineers to "fucking shut up" when they're racing and no one cares. Your analogy, is terrible, forgive me, because if Max actually hits someone (im aware he's pushed Esteban) no one would say that.

And thing is, Carlos has done equally (or even more) worse and he doesn't get flamed on for every word he says. (Im talking about the chinese restaurant video) why? because he's charming and he's pretty and "he's so funny when he's when lando!!" It's easy to forgive Carlos, to say, oh it's a one off, when he clearly still supports far right wing political parties.

Infact, you dislike Kimi because he is cold and straightforward or always being blunt at his engineers. Ever wonder why that is? Is it because he's unlikeable or because he fails to meet the standard of expectation of pleasantries? Plus, this is just what the media show of him, its his persona, its the "Oh, Kimi" thing people will eat up. Are u justified to dislike it, yeah, but does that mean Kimi is a shit person? no. If anything, it shows, we as humans, are biased to our own opinions. You dislike Kimi because he's not a person you would gravitate to in general (sans the iron cross thing), evident from your rant. No one has a problem with that because u disliking one person doesn't hurt anyone. ((People hating Max, and in turn, hating people who don't hate Max, hurts other people, but thats not something i blame you for))

This is very long but I just dont like the inconsistency, i think you're free to dislike whoever you want, to not support them, to criticise the dumb shit they do (which there's a lot for Max) but you have to be consistent to everyone, no ? Im not just saying this bcs I like Max, infact, he isn't even a fav of mine, and i can easily say he can be such a piece of shit and at times is a piece of shit but its only him that gets this treatment. Maybe think about why that is.

(for anyone wondering about the context for this ask, go here) hey Anon! I’m going to be really honest with you; I’m honestly not too sure what you’re trying to tell me. you said you agree with me on the fact that Max deserves a lot of the heat he receives, but I never said that. that’s an assumption, because when you read through the answer, you can see I never said that. I do agree with you that it’s gotten way out of hand and that people shouldn’t get death threats for supporting Max, that’s just ridiculous and I agree with you on the fact that that’s gotten way out of hand.

“he’s aggressive, you’re right”, I never said that. I use the word aggressive when talking about myself, but never about Max. the anon who asked me the question did mention Max being aggressive, but I didn’t. in the whole answer I never talked about the way Max drives, because I was talking about his character. telling me that Charles drives aggressive too… what is that even referring to? I never mentioned driving. (and if you want to know, drivers driving aggressively is fine by me, most of the time they only mess with their own race by doing that, so honestly… be my guest). if Daniel destroyed his and Max’ driving rooms, then of course I don’t approve of that. but the reason you’re not seeing any criticism because of that is probably because it happened years ago. the only thing I mentioned in the answer was Max saying slurs, I didn’t even mention him pushing Esteban and the reason I mentioned Max saying slurs was because it happened half a year ago. “if Max actually hits someone (im aware he's pushed Esteban) no one would say that.” say what? I don’t know what you mean by this. “Carlos has done equally (or even more) worse and he doesn’t get flamed on for every word he says”, first of all: I think everyone should decide for themselves if Carlos has done worse or not. second of all: I’m not the only person in this fandom, am I? you’re constantly switching between ‘you’ and talking about the fandom in general, why are you shifting the blame onto me? I’m not the spokesperson for this fandom. I mentioned many, many times before that I believe my opinion does not weigh more heavily than other people’s opinions do. “Infact, you dislike Kimi because he is cold and straightforward or always being blunt at his engineers. Ever wonder why that is? Is it because he's unlikeable or because he fails to meet the standard of expectation of pleasantries?” yes, that is literally why I dislike him. because he has characteristics that I do not like in a person. “Are u justified to dislike it, yeah, but does that mean Kimi is a shit person? no.” I never said that. literally, never ever said that. I never talk about Kimi, ever. the only reason why I mentioned I didn’t like him is because somebody asked why I never post about him. somebody asked, so I gave my honest opinion. I didn’t “rant”, I literally answered a question. I’m sorry, but what you are saying doesn’t make any sense. with “the inconsistency”, what do you mean? like I said before, I literally ignore drivers that I don’t like. somebody asked me a question about Max, just like somebody asked me a question about Kimi, and I answered it in an honest way. that’s all I did. “i think you're free to dislike whoever you want, to not support them, to criticise the dumb shit they do (which there's a lot for Max) but you have to be consistent to everyone, no ?” yes Anon, I’m consistently ignoring them. and saying that I’m allowed to dislike a person and then saying you don’t like me being inconsistent while I am being consistent, doesn’t make any sense. am I only allowed to be consistent if that fits your agenda?

“your analogy is terrible, forgive me”, I forgive you Anon, because you’re allowed to think that. but maybe your interpretation of it was terrible too, cause half of the things you mention I never said, but are based on assumptions you made. maybe this sounds like I’m a bit pissed off, and that’s because I am, cause you’re putting words in my mouth that I never said, you’re judging my character wrong and I’m sorry Anon, but I really don’t appreciate that, that honestly upsets me.

you know, we should probably just leave it like this. we clearly aren’t having the same conversation. I do hope you’re having a good day!

[curanonemu]

your hands are mine to hold | kim hongjoong

kim hongjoong x reader

summary: the five times you take Hongjoong's hand in yours, and the one time he takes yours.

tags: 5+1 trope, high school au, hand-holding, slow burn, strangers to saviours to friends to lovers :'), insecure reader, hence angst, happy ending, very happy very cute, fluff

word count: 7,750

notes: y'all be careful in labs ok? lmao,,, many thanks to my gem of a lovely friend @utopianvoices who listened to me cry about this - for real, I cried LMAO because I'm weak. The title's taken from 'Move Along' by The All-American Rejects, I love that song!! I loved writing this... I hope it's enjoyable for y'all! heartheartheart

•   •   •

「 1 」

It happens almost in slow motion.

He's walking with his friends, you're behind them all wondering why people in groups walk so slowly. Then, like an actual fool, he trips over air. A part of you thinks he deserves it, having no patience for the way he's been holding up the traffic with his friends, but as you watch on, some of that vengeful emotion ebbs away.

He yelps, and his friends all freeze for a second before they break out into laughter, no doubt waiting for the impending misfortune, and it takes a moment for you to push past your irritation and decide. You're making a move whether or not you'll be appreciated for it.

And so he careens, face almost meeting the floor in a grand show of romance while his friends howl. Almost. He stills, his hand having been grabbed by a lifeline that keeps him anchored.

Your hand.

He winces immediately, and you wince in return as you hear the telltale hiss that escapes his mouth. You curse at yourself for being so thoughtless.

You've saved him from falling flat on his face, but you pulled on his fingers too hard, and you've probably torn all the muscles in his hand and sprained his wrist too. God knows what else you've done. You're about to apologise when he straightens up, turning around to look at you. He's taller than you, you note as you lift your head slightly to meet his eyes, and you watch the sweet smile spreading across his lips as he thanks you.

The words fall from his lips, and though a large part of you is concerned you've hurt his hand beyond repair, a tiny voice in your mind says, 'He's so cute.'

You squash the voice down, of course, but you're the slightest bit disoriented and panicked at the realisation of what you were thinking, enough that no words come out and you nod at him dumbly after he says his thanks. He continues staring at you, the polite, helpful smile etched on his face, and you know his friends are looking at you too. They're quiet now, unlike how they'd initially been bursting into giggles. You tear your eyes away from his face and look at his hand once to make sure you've pulled off an entire finger or something equally horrifying, before you're hightailing it out of there without a word.

Later, as you sit in class, replaying the incident in your mind, remembering the smile that he awarded you with, the way his eyes shone from the emotion, and the way his voice sounded like honey, you realise you don't know his name.

Which is alright.

It's for the best. You don't need to know the name of every person you find cute. Granted, he's possibly the cutest one you've seen. That might also be because you saw him trip over air.

But the school is big, and you don't even know what year he's in; you didn't get a look at his tie. It's not as if you'll ever see him again.

⤐

「 2 」

Wrong, says the scheming universe, intent on proving otherwise.

You see him way too soon after that.

You're at the local store, having been sent to carry out some errands and buy groceries, and your eyes widen as you see a familiar face behind the counter. You don't want to face him, too aware of how you'd fled the scene and never even asked him if he was alright. You tap your foot anxiously as you hope to see the person behind the counter change soon, and a few minutes pass that way; you hiding and watching him, waiting for him to get up and go or magically vanish so you don't have to see him. But those hopes are dashed the moment he looks over the shelves separating you two and his eyes meet yours.

He brightens up visibly, and it makes you wonder how a person can be so lively and bright-eyed. There's no way he's brightening up because you're there, so it must be that he acts this way with everyone. That's also the reason why he gave you that smile, no?

You're taken back to the day he'd almost fallen, and how his friends had made teasing remarks to him once they thought you were far away. He'd laughed in response, saying something that you couldn't quite hear, but you imagine that's exactly what he intended, having caught on to a few of his words, telling his friends to lower their volume.

Some people are so bright and cheerful, and it genuinely surprises you how they can hold that much positivity in themselves.

Perhaps he's just one of those people, the main characters in a movie, the ones that change the world with their existence while the supporting characters merely look on from the sidelines and behold their glory.

You're a supporting character who had the fortune of being able to save this boy's face from becoming a pancake. That's quite a noble role you've been assigned. But nowhere in the script did it say that you'd have to make conversation with him.

So you stiffly reach the counter, putting your basket up for him to add up the purchase. You can feel his eyes on you as he moves, pressing some buttons that you don't know about while he hums under his breath. But you resolutely keep your eyes on the counter, on each of the items as he puts them one by one in a bag.

You reach out to take it, but-

But you end up taking his hand instead.

Jolting, you rip your hand back away from his, curled over the top of the bag he was trying to give you. You stare at his hand nervously, the emotions all too clear in your eyes as you try to make sense of what has just happened. Gulping, you reach for the bag again, focused on just holding it where his hand doesn't reach, but you get the shock of your life when he moves it forward, fingers colliding with yours momentarily before the bag is securely in your hands, and a smile is fixed on his face.

You realise he has a name-tag, but you're too flustered to look at him for more than a second, and you refuse to look at the tag and put a name to his face.

As you duck your head down and speed-walk out of the store, you can hear the smile in his words, "Thank you for shopping here!"

You should thank him for leaving you unable to think, you roll your eyes as you scold yourself mentally.

⤐

「 3 」

It becomes a routine after that.

You see him everywhere. You see him in school, standing casually with his friends in the stairwell when you need to change floors - in the library when you're looking for a book - in the cafeteria when you need food.

Sometimes, it's just a fleeting look. You find him across the sea of students and you quickly look down, not wanting him to spot you. Sometimes, you look at him long enough that he can feel your gaze, and then you're hastily looking away, hoping against hope that he hasn't caught you. Sometimes, you find him looking at you when you see him, and your eyes widen and you turn your head away. You always wonder what he's thinking, those times.

You've realised one thing about him. He gives his full attention to whatever has it at any moment. When he's paying attention to his friends, it's as if they're angels from heaven, the way he makes them all seem so important to you with just a single look, just one smile at the jokes they're cracking.

You wonder what he thinks when he gives you attention.

He's even gone as far as to smile at you, and it leaves you feeling so nervous yet so alive at the same time. It's an exhilarating feeling.

It scares you, knowing that you've already given your mind to someone whose name you don't know, someone who you've never talked to. How long will you go before you crumble and give him your heart too? You shove that thought out of your mind, but you're not sure of your resolve.

After all, you see him too much to ever have him out of your mind.

Your next embarrassing scene occurs when you're going up the stairs. You're in a hurry, having to climb up three floors just to get to the lab and you're not happy knowing that you're already late. Walking as fast as you can, you're halfway to your destination, on the second flight of stairs when you reach out with your hand to grip the banister.

And it's incredibly soft.

Your hand closes around it, the feeling registering in your brain but not quite allowing you to react, and your eyes slowly travel towards your hand. The staircase is U-shaped, and instead of gripping the banister for your flight, you've gripped the one for the next one.

Scratch that. Your hand isn't even on the banister.

Someone else is holding onto it, in the process of walking downstairs and you've boldly placed your hand on theirs.

You look up at the person to whom the hand is attached, and because the world hates you, or maybe it loves embarrassing you, it's him.

Him, with his eyes wide, mouth slightly open while his tongue pokes out as he stares at your hand, then at your face, then back down. Your heart having stopped and your feet frozen mid-step, you regard him without a word. You tear your eyes away the same moment you retract your hand, and then you're walking quickly, turning, then climbing past him as you all but stomp up the stairs, wishing they'd open up and swallow you.

As your eyes flit down one last time, you see him still on that spot, and your eyebrows furrow in frustration as you bite your lip, beyond irritated at yourself for allowing yourself to be so affected by him.

It's not even as if you can pass it off as a random incident now. You'd recognised him, and he'd recognised you, because the flicker of recognition in your eyes was mirrored in his. You know him and he knows you and you can't claim to be strangers.

All that remains to be known now is his name, and you really don't want to know that. Not when you know how soft his hand is, because knowing both the things is only going to put a name to the face that keeps haunting you and refuses to leave you alone. It's only going to make your stupid thoughts that much realer.

⤐

「 4 」

You're milling about in the lab with your classmates, aimlessly going from one shelf to another as you look for chemicals.

Halfway through the two hours long class, a bunch of students enter the lab, and you recognise them as your upperclassmen.

A stray thought enters your mind and you push it away angrily. Denial has always been a strong suit of yours, and your brain seems to think that if you pretend you hadn't noticed the stripes of his tie while you both had your cute staring contest, he won't be an upperclassman.

Anyway, you can't see him among the ones that have entered, so you can count on him to be in a different class.

Your teacher notices that you're mucking about without any intention of working, and you duck your head to avoid the glare that's sent your way. Busying yourself with adding things to test tubes, you pray that you're not taking your school towards a spectacular explosion.

Someone moves behind you, brushing past with an apology and you simply give a nod, engrossed for once in what you're doing.

"Can I have this?" the words eventually reach you, and you turn briefly to see an unfamiliar person pointing to a bottle next to your workspace that you no longer need.

"Ah, yeah, just put it back on that shelf after you're done." You gesture towards where you picked it up from. You should've put it back already, your teacher always says you should do so once you're done using something. But you also prefer working at your own pace.

"Where?" the person asks, and you turn around to point at the shelf properly, but the words die down. You remember the face from the first time you saw him. You're talking to one of his friends, merely an hour after that monumentally embarrassing incident and it makes your brain go slightly haywire. He can't be here, can he? You didn't see him in the crowd, there's no way he's here-

"Seonghwa!" a voice calls out, and you exhale imperceptibly, internally telling yourself to calm down.

You should've expected it.

He's an upperclassman, you're surrounded by those; of course you'd see him. Of course.

Hell, you had expected it. You'd secretly been hoping for it.

But it still makes your heart beat faster, both in nervous excitement and anxiety, and you have to will yourself to not make a fool out of yourself.

'Seonghwa' turns around to see his friend as said friend walks up to both of you, leisurely, looking for all the world totally unaffected, and you clench your fists, almost breaking a pipe in the process.

'It's okay, it's alright.' You touched his hand, but he touched yours too. If you're flustered, he should be equally so. And he did look affected, didn't he? All wide-eyed and surprised. That's enough for you to breathe a bit better.

He stops next to you, and gives you another one of his darned smiles. "Can we borrow this?" He points to the same bottle as if his friend hadn't just asked you for it, and you nod like the idiot you are.

He picks it up, ever so helpfully giving a few drops from the dropper to his friend before filling up his own test tube. Then he holds it back out to you. His friend opens his mouth, and you fail to notice the exchange between them which makes him shut his mouth, and then your tormentor is looking at you, expecting you to take the bottle off his hands.

Which you do, after a suspicious stare directed at his limbs.

And because you're a fool, which the universe has established time and time again, you end up grabbing the bottle and his hand.

Or maybe it's just your imagination from how paranoid you are.

Your eyes stray to his face, and it betrays absolutely no emotion, so you quietly go back to your work, and he turns away too, walking away with his friend. Perhaps you didn't do what you think you did.

Except the skin of your hand feels warm, and your face, warmer.

⤐

「 5 」

It's towards the end of the year that your paths cross again.

You're in the arts corridor, having just finished with drawing class, and you're lagging behind the rest of your classmates. As always, you got too frustrated with how your work was turning out, and spent most of the class correcting your mistakes rather than making any real progress. As a result, you're the last one to leave, having rushed through the sketch to at least feel a little productive.

Your eyes land on the music room. The door is shut, but some of the sound spills out. You can hear an instrument, though you can't tell what it is, but the tranquil, soft tune of it produces a similar emotion in you.

You halt, mulling over your options. Either rush to your classroom right now and apologise to the teacher, or stay here and be undeniably late for your next class, but enjoy the melody. The latter wins out, and despite your mind screaming at you to be a good student and not be late, your heart stands its ground and you lean against the wall, next to the door.

Now that you're closer, you can hear singing, and you shut your eyes, letting yourself be pulled under. Lost in the music, you don't realise that your hand has drifted over to the doorknob. You're just holding onto it, fingers curling, when a crash jolts you and you push the door open.

You stumble, having leaned too much of your weight on the hand that has pushed open the door, and you debate whether to own up like a self-respecting individual and apologise for the intrusion, or to just run away like a coward without showing your face to the occupants of the room. Which would be hard without shutting the door, because it's literally in the middle of your way back to class.

Your freedom of choice is taken away from you as someone walks over to the door and peeks out.

It's your hand-boy.

Well, he's not yours. But you might as well call him that. If he can be your tormentor, he can also be your hand-boy. The stupid train of thought is cut off when he raises his eyebrow questioningly, and the faint amusement shining in his eyes isn't lost on you.

But it's alright. You're smart.

"I heard a sound." You say, internally clapping yourself on the back as you congratulate yourself. "Did something break?"

He has talked to you thrice now, once when he thanked you for saving him, once in the store where he works, and then in the lab. But this is the first time you're speaking to him, and your voice trembles the slightest bit, throat tight. It's foolish to think this way, but you don't want him to think you're stupid, or you have a bad voice, or any of the million thoughts creeping into your head and kicking up a storm of insecurity.

"Oh, that," he rolls his eyes, eyelashes fluttering as the amusement takes over his whole face, and you want a recording of that moment, because he looks so beautiful and you replay it forever. There's equal parts mirth and exasperation dancing in those pretty, bottomless eyes of his and it makes you feel so, so warm.

"That was just my friend messing around."

"Hey, what're you saying, hy-" Song Mingi pokes his head out of the room, coming up behind your hand-boy (you curse your brain for coming up with that name for him). The words die down when he sees you, and then his face is brightening up too. "Oh, hey, y/n, didn't know you came around here!"

You were partnered up with him for a project once, and although that's the only time you had a prolonged interaction with him, you assume you're still on good terms. So you nod, and gesture to the art room behind you, not sure you'll be able to speak.

With the person called Seonghwa too, you'd felt the same way. It makes you feel too exposed to the world when you're with the hand-boy while a third person is observing you both.

"Ah, so you both know each other." Said boy cuts in. "Mingi here decided that it would be fun to play with the cymbals. Sorry if it worried you." He says, smiling amiably, but you can't help but notice the slightest playfulness that lingers, which makes the red rise in your ears, the hue hopefully sparing your face. He sounds like he knows something, and you can only hope that he doesn't know how hard he's making your heart beat.

You shake your head, both to dispel the thoughts and to answer his question. Then, eager to leave, you bring up being late to class. Mingi's eyes widen in alarm, and he rushes out an apology. It's cute how flustered he can get on someone else's behalf, and you resist the ever-present urge to ruffle his hair. He holds out his hand in a fist, expecting yours back to bump against his. Which he does get.

Everything is fine, you've evaded any embarrassing situation with your hand-boy. Except, because you're an idiot, your eyes stray to him one last time.

And the expectant look on his face says volumes. Or maybe it says nothing at all, which is what confuses you.

Like a fool, you reach forward on auto-pilot, grabbing his hand, shaking it once, twice, before you let go as if you've been scalded. Talking more to the ground than either of them, you mumble, "Take care." Sketchbook tucked safely in your arm, you all but run.

⤐

「 0 」

You're a real fool. An actual idiot. A total dimwit. But as much as you try assigning loving names to yourself, all you can come up with is 'whipped for the mysterious, nameless hand-boy.' And isn't that the funniest? You have a raging crush on someone whose name you've never even heard.

The stairs fill you with dread, the arts corridor fills you with dread, but it's not the negative sort. You always have stupid little butterflies in your stomach, making it churn while your heart thumps painfully loudly. Especially the hall where you'd first met him, saved his pretty face from being a pretty, flat face. You've made excuses to your family as to why it takes you so long to shop for groceries, because you really can't tell them you've been waiting for your crush's shift at the counter to end so you can avoid seeing him.

Are you a coward? Yes. Do you feel any shame admitting that? No. You're quite brave on that front.

But if there's one thing you really want to know, it's his name. When you wrack your brain, thinking too much of him despite pretending even to yourself that that's not what you're doing, you can almost recall the characters on his name-tag that you'd tried not to look at, and mostly succeeded.

Yes, you did think that you couldn't know his name when you knew how soft his hands were, because you didn't want to fall for him. But you're far past that stage. You know how soft his hands are, you know how prettily his eyes shine as if graced by stars, how his eyelashes flutter like the wind kissed them all. Not knowing his name now is injustice towards your poor heart.

You know a person who can tell you his name, but you also know that he can figure out why you want to know and completely ruin your life. (No, he can't; you're just dramatic.) Song Mingi teases people, even if he wouldn't have a smidge of suspicion regarding your intentions while asking him his senior's name, he's bound to crack jokes, and if any of his jokes makes your face turn scarlet and words come out stuttering, then you'll never live it down.

Hence, Mingi is out of the equation, and you're back to having no idea how to find out your mysterious hand-boy's name.

Seonghwa... The upperclassman called Seonghwa seems popular with your classmates, because you've heard his name once or twice in the conversations you happen to be close enough to hear. If you were to ask your classmates, would they tell you? How would you ask, anyway? 'Hey, can you tell me the name of that person's friend? The friend who's really cute and has a lovely laugh and a beautiful smile, with words that sound like flowers blooming in spring and eyes that just make my heart scream in frustration? And oh, those hands that I want to hold all the time. Right, I'm just slightly curious about him.' That idea sounds stupid even to you, and judging by the last few months, you've had quite a few stupid ideas.

You can only rely on yourself to find out his name, it seems. And you'll do your best to be your own wingman.

It's almost funny how easily it all falls into place.

The plan seems foolproof. The easiest way to find out would be to go to the store and ask the person who works the shift after him. So you do that. You offer to go shopping quite enthusiastically, and your parents give you a doubtful look once, before they're convinced you're just trying to be helpful and make up for your earlier behaviour. Which is exactly what you're doing; making up for the mistake of never reading his name off the tag he'd helpfully pinned to his uniform.

You're at the store, waiting outside for his shift to end, and it leaves an unexplainable feeling in you when you think of how it'd look under different circumstances; you waiting for his shift to end, then leaving together with him- okay, you need to stop thinking that.

Once you see him leave, you wait long enough for him to walk away, before slipping inside. It doesn't take long for you to buy everything. When the cashier is totalling up your purchase, you open your mouth once, twice. But the words don't come. You can't help but feel that if you asked, it'd shatter whatever you have right now. It's also too easy if you find out this way.

So you walk out glumly with your belongings, looking at the ground and wondering for the millionth time why you're so enamoured by a person who most probably doesn't even think about you.

A shriek leaves you when something grabs at your wrist, and for a moment you have to convince yourself that it's not a bug, not a snake or whatever scary thing you can think of. It's a hand belonging to another person, a very cute hand, and that makes you feel better for the duration of ten seconds before another sound leaves you, a strangled gasp.

Your hand-boy smiles at you like the cat that got the canary.

Which is probably a figment of your overactive imagination because you saw him finish his shift and leave. He can't be here ten minutes after you saw him leave.

"Hello," he coos, voice smooth and soothing, but the expression on his face is anything but, sending your thoughts scattering and nerves spiralling into chaos.

Your other hand is clutching onto the shopping bag, almost tearing into it with how tightly your fingers are digging into the material, and you focus on loosening your fist till your fingers are no longer white. Anything to keep your attention off of the boy next to you, his presence too large, invading too much of your mind and filling your brain with nothing but thoughts of him.

You didn't expect your attraction to him to be this bad, but being next to him is stopping you from thinking anything.

"H-hello," you finally respond shakily, voice barely above a whisper and you pray that he hasn't heard the stutter at the beginning. "Mingi's friend?" you add on, trying not to make it obvious that you know him by any other description.

"That's me," he says cheerfully, "You're y/n, aren't you?"

Your name off his lips is almost too much for you, ears turning red again and you pray that your hair is covering them. You can feel the telltale prickling at your face as blood rushes to it, and you can also feel your hand beading with sweat. You pray that he doesn't notice any of it.

But it's wishful thinking when he's so close to you that he could count your eyelashes, or you could count his. What you don't realise is that he's surreptitiously doing the former, while you're missing out on the latter because you just can't seem to look at him.

The traffic continues moving on the road, and you're just standing in front of the store, you holding onto your bag, and him holding onto your hand. It must look all shades of weird, but the world goes on with its business.

"Y/n?" Your name rolls off his lips again, and you realise you never answered him. You nod again, having completely lost the ability to speak. All you can think of is how smart you were to not ask his co-worker what his name is, because if he witnessed the interaction, there's no knowing how hand-boy would react.

"It's nice seeing you here after so long." He speaks again, and you turn to look at him, surprised and suddenly shy. He seems genuinely happy to see you, and the normal part of your brain appreciates that. The other part is busy crying over how amazing he is, but you ignore that.

"I come here often." You blurt out. It's not like you're lying. You've just avoided running into him.

"I know!" He responds, still sounding cheerful and you blink. "I see you when I leave, you just always look too much in a hurry for me to approach you. I decided I'll wait for you today."

Good lord.

"I- yeah. I am. In a hurry. Now." The words come out jumbled, and you hate yourself a bit when his hold on your wrist loosens and his hand slips away.

"That's alright, I should get going too." He continues with the same light-hearted tone he's kept throughout the conversation, and you're all too aware of how this is the longest you've ever talked. "I'll see you around in school, alright? Just ask around for Kim Hongjoong if you can't find me." He smiles, and he leaves just as quickly as he'd made your soul leave your body by grabbing your hand.

Kim Hongjoong.

So that's who he is.

And he said that he'd see you around in school.

You watch him leave, then slowly start walking in the direction of your home. It's only when you're in the safety and privacy of your room that you flop down on your bed and release a scream into your pillow.

You're even more whipped now.

Y/n, who? Whipped For Kim Hongjoong, that's who you are.

⤐

「 +1 」

You work up the courage to ask one of your classmates about Kim Hongjoong, and she tells you which year he's in, and what class he belongs to. But that's all you do. You don't have the courage to actually go up to him, say hello, potentially become friends or even more. All you can think of is how brightly he shines whenever you see him.

It makes you wary of approaching him. It scares you when you think of how he must have so many other people that he could possibly like. It's just a dumb crush, if you ignore it long enough, maybe it really will dissipate on its own.

He's in the year above you, and you have two more years before you graduate. So you can count on seeing him around the coming year too, when he'll be a senior and absolutely dashing in his tie with the senior stripes.

And he'll have time for your juniors too, who'll flock to him because he'll be that model senior, won't he? The one that everyone loves. You'll just be one of those people. Your classmate mentioned he's a potential candidate for the student council; doesn't that make him some sort of god?

No use crying over spilled milk, and no use pursuing someone far out of your league, you tell yourself. So you go on with your life, studying for finals, or trying to, and hoping that you don't fail and get held a year back. That'd just be worse in the grand scheme of things, what with your traitorous heart still wanting to not look like a fool if you and Kim Hongjoong ever cross paths again. Just imagining how he'd look at you if you got held back is enough to spur you into studying, but it's also irritating as anything because he's the reason why you've been so distracted throughout the year.

Finals pass by in a blur, in before you know it you've surprisingly passed and levelled up in school years.

And yes, you're still avoiding Hongjoong like your life depends on it, every time you see him in the halls, you turn away and walk off in the other direction. And yes, you're still crushing on him. You come across two more of his friends, Jung Wooyoung and Choi San, who are both in your class and sit right behind you. You pretend not to know anything about him most times, and it works, to a certain extent.

When they do bring him up, you just make one excuse after another, slowly perfecting the art of fooling people (at least, you think).

"Y/n, remember that time you saved that guy from falling on his face?" gets answered with "I've saved plenty of people from falling like that in my life, who are you talking about, again?"

Wooyoung gives a shit-eating grin and says he's sure a lot of people have fallen for you, which both amuses and slightly saddens you. Because no, you don't know how many people have fallen for you, if any at all. You've always been oblivious (read: blind), and your tendency to avoid people whenever you start developing feelings for them is a major hindrance at times.

You'd like to hear at least once that someone has a crush on you and you make their heart pound, but you've never received such a confession. And you don't think you're ever getting it from Hongjoong of all people, so it makes you even more determined to blow off any mention of him. You do become tentative friends with San and Wooyoung, and the friendship gradually gets to the point that you can actually feel comfortable laughing and joking with them about such things.

But you still never bring Hongjoong up, and neither do they, as time passes.

You sometimes still catch Hongjoong's eye through a crowd of people, and every time you find yourself stilling as time slows down too, it sends a pang of hurt through you. There's also guilt, because behind the ever-present smile you can see how his face falls, and his light dims. You're the reason for that.

Wooyoung and San are both in the dance club, with their gorgeous friend Yeosang who sometimes drops by during lunch and spends time with the three of you. He's the one who starts talking about Hongjoong again, mentioning him now and then, and that's how the floodgates open.

Before you know it, San is moaning about his crush on one of the members of the music club, and how Mingi and Hongjoong get to spend way too much time with them. "It's only natural, San," you end up commenting, "He's the club president, he's meant to interact with the members."

The boy's eyes narrow as he stares at you, and then he cracks a smile. "Club president, huh? What about Mingi?" The question makes you defensive, and you abruptly ask, "What?", to which he just shakes his head, unsettling you even more.

If that wasn't enough warning for you to never speak again about the boy who stole your heart, Wooyoung starts talking about the store where Hongjoong works, and all of a sudden he has the juiciest gossip ever regarding the customers there. Do you care? No. Does San care? Not at all. Yeosang? Couldn't care less. But both of them seem so absorbed that you start to feel like you're being too unreasonable and suspicious with the way you keep avoiding him.

There's always the chance that Hongjoong hasn't yet figured out why you avoid him, and if you continue acting the way you do, he might just find out. And that'll be even worse, now that you're friends with his friends.

So you condition yourself to relax and not freak out whenever Hongjoong is mentioned.

It results in three things. One, you stop freezing up every time your friends mention him. Two, you actually come to terms with the fact that you're completely, irrevocably, not-so-stupidly in love with him. You have to be pretty smart to be in love with such a guy, quite honestly. Three, you end up facing Hongjoong for possibly the first time in months, and you make yourself at least nod and smile at him. You receive that lovely smile from him, which makes your heart race like anything, but surprisingly, you're able to act normal. (You hope.)

Your second proper conversation with him is something along the lines of you telling him to stop teasing San, and he widens his eyes, swearing up and down that he has no idea what you're talking about, but Wooyoung tells you later that everyone already knows about San's crush anyway. So, Hongjoong can still joke around with you, despite you having given him the cold shoulder - or no shoulder, honestly - for so long.

As you continue making small-talk with him, you realise he's really easy to talk to. Putting aside the fact that you like him, he's so cute and charming and interesting and all things good that you just can't help but feel so happy when you talk to him, and it's really easy.

There's just one thing that has changed. You no longer get to hold his hand. You can't act like you're doing it in the heat of the moment, without realising, so you can't step forward and grab his hand despite how you're sometimes almost crying with laughter at the things he tells you.

Hongjoong is an idiot who finds the weirdest things funny, an absolutely beautiful, lovable idiot, and he makes you so happy you might combust. But you can't hold his hand, because that's one thing you just can't convince yourself to do. That's perhaps the only thing that'll give away your love for him now, and you can't let him find out. Not when you're finally friends.

San asks you one day, "What's the first thing you would do if you got together with someone?"

"Hold their hand," slips out almost immediately from your mouth, because that's exactly what you're daydreaming about, and you bite your tongue when you notice the smirk on his lips.

"Why?" he asks, and you shrug, making an off-handed (yes) comment about enjoying the closeness.

He'd probably ask you more, but Wooyoung bursts into the classroom, looking way too gleeful with Yeosang hot on his heels, and you watch as the long time friends argue a bit before turning to you and San. "Mingi told your crush you like them, San." says Wooyoung, just as Yeosang slaps a hand over his mouth.

You can feel the boy next to you freezing, his bottom lip quivering before he lets out a laugh that's way too loud, and says he's not afraid. He sounds like you did when you stayed up late at night, convincing yourself that you didn't like Hongjoong, back when you didn't even know his name.

So you pat his arm, and offer, "I'll go scold him if you need." He gives you a slightly panicked smile, but shakes his head, before he gets up and says he'll talk to Mingi himself. You watch him leave, then turn to the other two boys and ask Yeosang why he didn't want San to know.

He gives you a disbelieving stare, before shaking his head and muttering something, which makes Wooyoung burst into laughter. You let out an annoyed sigh, before getting up from your seat and walking out of class.

Hearing about crushes only makes you think of Hongjoong, as sappy as that sounds, and you're also slightly mad at Mingi for throwing his friend under the bus so easily. You could never face Hongjoong again if someone told him, especially one of your close friends. San is a lot more sensitive than he seems, and you can only hope Mingi had a legitimate reason for doing what he did.

You're wandering aimlessly when someone calls out, "What're you doing out here?"

You whirl around, eyes meeting Hongjoong's, and your mouth opens wordlessly, then closes. "Mingi." You say, hoping that one word explains everything. It doesn't, and you sigh before everything pours out, how you know San would be hurt if things didn't go well, how Mingi shouldn't have been the one to tell them anything.

"So you're going in there for backup?" He asks, and you frown. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm just walking around because I didn't want to stay in class with Yeosang and that loser." You feel bad for calling Wooyoung a loser, but you don't like how elated he looked when he broke the news.

Hongjoong laughs at that, shoulders shaking slightly, which you totally don't admire. You don't, because you're too busy trying not to blush at the sound, nails digging into your palms as you ball your fists.

"Good, don't go." He says at length, and you look at him questioningly. "I'm getting to see you alone after so long, without all those kids breathing down your neck. Stay with me?"

"Well, it's not my fault you're such a busy senior, with your club and studying and even work and everything." You say, rolling your eyes and grinning to let him know you're joking. He pouts at that, but you follow him anyway as he walks over to the stairs.

As you climb them, walking behind him, you remember how you'd seen him a year ago on these stairs, grabbed onto his hand like an idiot. The you from that time would never believe you'd actually ever get to walk next to this amazing being, and even call him a friend.

"Mingi actually told San's crush because it got tiring for everyone to hear his moaning." He offers as you both come to a stop once the flight of stairs ends and you reach the platform before the next one.

"But that's not for him to decide," you argue, "No one should have to be outed like that, especially by their friends."

"But do you think San would do anything otherwise?" Hongjoong asks, and you don't have an answer. He exhales, before he turns further towards you, and you shoot him a surprised look. "I don't know about him, but I realised something. San still has another year here. I don't. And if I don't confess my feelings to the person that I like now, then I'll not have another chance."

Your heart sinks.

You'd always pushed the thought out of your head. But here it is. Hongjoong likes someone. He likes someone and-

And you almost miss his next sentence.

"That's why I asked you to come with me, instead of seeking out San and trying to do damage control."

Your eyes flit over to his. Your face says nothing, but your eyes say it all. He gives a soft smile, "It's you, y/n."

A beat passes.

"I'm telling you now because there won't ever be a better time. It's also because I don't want someone else to steal the light, or even you, but yeah, I'd like if you heard from me that I like you. Which I do. A lot."

Your hands are trembling, and you clench your fists harder than before, nails digging into your skin that much harder as you try to make sense of the words. "Are you joking?" the question finally slips out, and you hate that you can't even say it as a statement, because you don't want it to be a joke.

"I'm not, I promise." He says it with such determination and assurance that you can't help but believe him. "I really do like you, I have for quite a while."

You're silent for a bit, and he gives you that much, knowing you're thinking a million things that need straightening out. He always knows. It's why he's Hongjoong, the boy who cares so much about people.

"How long?" You ask after a while.

"The day I almost fell face first on the floor, you stopped me from doing so. But I did fall. I fell for you when you took my hand and saved my life."

You laugh, but you can also feel your eyes watering, and it ends up making you look more than a little shaken. He's exaggerating, and from the grin on his face, he knows it too. But he's not lying, because you do have eyes and you can see that he's blushing, and he keeps clenching his hands shut into fists, then unclenching them.

He steps forward suddenly, and you have no warning before he grabs one of your hands in his. His palm is slightly moist, though it's still warm, and with a start, you realise that he's actually nervous.

"I really care for you. Have always, ever since then. Since the beginning. And I know you came to the store a lot. You'd go in right after I left, and all my co-workers had too much fun telling me that. They all said it was because you knew I had a thing for you."

Fingers weaving in between yours as he curls them over the back of your hand, he continues, "These hands, I want to hold them all the time. I want to hold you too, of course, but..."

"But you just want me for my hands." You say.

He laughs, a beautiful sound in the silence surrounding you, your own little world on the stairs, away from everyone else. "Not just your hands, but maybe they matter a lot more to me than you think. These hands are mine. Mine to hold, mine to love."

The way he calls your hands his makes you tear your eyes away from his, flushing as your eyes settle on your hands joined together.

"Won't you give me a chance?" he asks, and his thumb is still stroking your hand, his palm warm against yours as he holds your hand like it's the most delicate flower on the planet. Safe. it makes you feel cared for.

As you blink back your tears, you nod.

He smiles, then closes the remaining distance between the two of you. After a year and a half of knowing this boy, he's kissing you, hand in yours with that sweet smile of his against your lips.

•   •   •

[artificialqueens]

Different People (Different Arguments), 1/14 (Branjie/Jankie) - Ortega

a/n: once upon a time there was an author named Ortega who wrote war and fucking peace of a the thick of it au called Just the Game We’re In. she finished it and was proud of it and everything was fine. then suddenly, it turned out one of the main characters was…well, we’ll park that. so Ortega then decided to rewrite it with different girls, a few different details, and a different title. and it’s called Different People (Different Arguments)! and chapter one is here now for u all to enjoy (i hope).

(ps. no i’ve not forgotten about strictly au)

fic summary: Brooke Lynn is a political advisor for a government department where she has to contend with an incompetent Minister, maintaining her stone-cold bitch image, working alongside a press team of slackers, and the Prime Minister’s ever-so-slightly terrifying enforcer breathing down her neck 24/7. So when a familiar face from her past arrives as her new boss, she’s not exactly thrilled to add another problem to her ever-growing pile.

And then she admits she’s got a crush on her coworker.

In this chapter: A standard working day is turned on its head when Brooke has to play a role in engineering Cabinet Minister Darienne Lake’s resignation.

***

High heels. The definitive sound of Brooke’s job. Day in, day out the click-clack, click-clack sound would echo through the offices, closely followed by the constantly ringing phones and the tap-tap-tap of keyboards. Often there was also shouting, the volume of which was never helped by the design of the building which allowed every whisper to be amplified by around a million decibels and broadcast into the lobby.

Brooke hated the new building. She’d hated the idea of moving into it, insisting it would reflect badly on their party and cost them in the polls.

“What kind of message is it going to send out?” she’d rolled her eyes, tearing her hands through her hair. “If we’re trying to tell the public we’re still in touch with them and understand their fears of another recession it doesn’t exactly help moving into what looks like Aquaman’s secret fucking lair.”

She had been ignored, of course, as the decision had already been made. Brooke often wondered what the point of being a political advisor was if nobody ever actually listened to your advice, especially since the person you were supposed to be giving advice to seemed to be blundering about the world of politics like a headless chicken. Darienne Lake had been head of the Department for Social Affairs and Citizenship (Dosac for short) for quite some time now. Too long, Brooke thought. It was harrowing working for a woman who was clearly in the wrong profession, watching her get slammed by the media almost daily as a result of the latest crackpot policy she’d dreamed up. Brooke could’ve left the department a long time ago, should’ve left a long time ago. But she didn’t.

Politics was all about climbing the ladder and making connections. It was a game of chess, and over the years Brooke had seen many people make the wrong move both in and out of the public eye and subsequently watched them get disposed of. She’d seen people cross to the other side, watched both her own party and the opposition divide and conquer. It was all extremely black and white. The party line was a tightrope you had to walk. If you stepped out of line, you fell off the tightrope. If you weren’t up to date on what the line was, the tightrope got cut.  

Brooke could appreciate it wouldn’t sound hugely appealing to someone who didn’t live, breathe, eat, sleep and shit politics. However, this was her world. It had been her world since she’d started watching the news when she was six years old and heard her family talk about the politicians on the screen, and her need to be within the political realm only intensified when she left school and went to uni to study politics and economics, her drive and determination ensuring she graduated with a first class degree. Something that never got old to Brooke were people’s reactions when they discovered she wasn’t some dyed blonde lobotomy job who’d slept her way up the ladder. She wanted to keep giving people that shock day after day, and if that meant staying and advising an under-qualified, over-privileged cabinet Minister, then she could grit her teeth and bear it.

The echoey click-clack of Brooke’s heels provided a soundtrack as she briskly made her way across the black tiles of the department building’s lobby and pressed one red acrylic nail to the button of the lift, the doors sliding open almost instantly. As she stepped inside, quickly checking her reflection in the mirror, there was the frenzied sound of heels on tiles and a panicked yelling.

“Hold the lift!”

Smiling to herself, Brooke held the doors open as a small, pint-sized blonde ball of energy hurtled through them. Catching her breath and smoothing down her white shift dress, she shot her friend a quick smile.

“Morning, girl!”

“Hey, Jan. Great timing,” Brooke smirked as her friend fixed her windswept hair in the mirror.

If you’d ever asked Brooke if she could’ve seen herself becoming best friends with a previous member of the opposition she would have laughed in your face, but Jan was an exception. She had crossed the floor three months ago, finding a job as one of Darienne’s junior policy advisors after she became disillusioned with the ruthless ideals of the opposition. From what Brooke had heard, the offices of Nicky Doll’s party had been a little cliquey and Jan had wanted to spread her wings. Understandably, Brooke had been suspicious of her at first but Jan had been persistently kind and sweet to her to the point where Brooke basically blinked and they were friends as well as colleagues.

“What’s on the Minister’s agenda today then?” Brooke laughed humourlessly, leaning against the lift’s cool metal wall. “Are we demanding the extension of all buses by 30 centimetres? Bringing back the ha’penny? Outlawing kids?”

Jan threw her head back and laughed. “No, although all very possible Darienne ideas. We’ve to sort the public transport data before 5pm. That’s the only real pressing thing we have to do today.”

Brooke felt uneasy. The prospect of 24 hours that didn’t seem like being strapped to a bullet train speeding through fire seemed too good to be true. Something was always going wrong at Dosac and the fact that the only important thing they had to do with their day was to type some figures into an excel spreadsheet was suspicious.

“How was your weekend anyway?” Jan asked, smiling kindly.

Brooke thought back to the previous two days which were spent holed up in her studio flat eating instant noodles and working her way through expenses forms which the Minister should have been doing herself.

“Oh, you know…just a quiet one,” she gave Jan a small smile, which she returned.

The elevator doors opened and Brooke and Jan made their way to their desks. They were stopped in their tracks by a tiny, olive-skinned woman with flowing dark locks of hair babbling away at them at about a mile a minute. Smirking, Brooke shared an affectionate glance with Jan.

“And good morning to you too, human megaphone,” Brooke smiled, lazily throwing her jacket over her desk as the girl rolled her eyes.

“Brooke Lynn! This is serious shit. It would help if you made it into fuckin’ work on time,” she snapped back, pacing back and forth in her heels with worry.

“Relax, Vanessa. We were only a minute off, Darienne’s not going to be in for another fifteen,” Jan smiled lazily, kicking her heels off as she lounged in the wheely chair behind her desk. “Anyway, what’s the panic? It’s a chill day.”

There was one second of almost-silence as the clicks of computer mouses and the whirr of monitors were the only sounds in the room. Then, Vanessa’s eyes widened in horror. Brooke’s stomach dropped as she met Jan’s eyes- she’d known the prospect of a quiet day had been a veritable pipe dream.

“A chill…shit, you guys didn’t get the briefing that Nina sent out? Oh Christ, what am I doin’ even asking that.”

“Are my ears burning?” came a sleepy voice from down the hall. A figure emerged bundled up in countless scarves and woollen cardigans, her blonde frizzy curls only just visible through the layers of clothing. Her manicured fingernails were curled around a Starbucks cup, which she was clinging to for dear life.

“Morning, Nina! Great timing!” Vanessa greeted her sarcastically.

“Ignore her, girl. She hasn’t had her morning shot of Sambuca yet,” Jan drawled, smiling at the human game of pass the parcel who was currently detangling herself from her mummification of knitted clothing. Nina was Dosac’s press secretary who was kind and easy-going but also did the bare minimum, as her determination started and ended at getting home to her wife Monét and the latest episode of EastEnders every day. The girls all both loved her and were vexed by her in equal measures as it was often near to impossible to get any information from her or through her. But Brooke had to admit she did make a good cup of tea.

“Nina. Is there a reason why these bitches haven’t been briefed on Darienne’s interview with Raja Gemini today?” asked Vanessa.

Brooke threw her head back and groaned. Oh, fuck. This was bad news. Raja was one of the fiercest bitches in the media, a BBC journalist who was almost impossible to influence with spin. Fixing Nina with a stony glare, she was irritated even more when she simply shrugged.

“Vanessa, that email was sent to me at four minutes past five yesterday evening and you know fine well that the moment it hits five o’clock my out of office is on and my work phone is off,” Nina raised her eyebrows, curling her Bluetooth headset round her ear as she logged into her computer.

“Christ. So the Minister has a Gemini interview and we’ve got no idea what it’s meant to be covering,” Brooke massaged her temples slowly.

“Well, I’ll tell you what it’s about. She’s runnin’ with the mobile phone policy,” Vanessa sighed, nodding fiercely as both Brooke and Jan cried out in disbelief.

“Absolutely not. I thought we’d convinced her that it was a non-starter?!” Jan exclaimed, her tone nothing short of outraged.

“Apparently she’s feelin’ the pressure of the opposition as a result of Nicky pushing to cut down on Co2 emissions, so she wants to bring out a policy that goes hand in hand with that so the government can look good.”

“That doesn’t even make any fucking sense! God, Nicky could sneeze and she’d be ‘feeling the pressure’. Sometimes it’s like this department’s being run by a startled cat,” Jan sighed, pushing her blow-dried waves of hair away from her face with her hand.

“Yeah, I always think watching her decision-making process is like watching an enormous baby trying to do calculus,” Brooke piped up, humour masking the genuine, real fear that this disastrous policy was about to go live. Its basic premise was to fine people who used their phones while they walked, to avoid collisions between pedestrians on the streets and therefore reduce waiting times at Accident and Emergency as there were less injuries. It was absolutely insane, but then this was a typical Darienne Lake policy. Vanessa had once told Brooke that she often genuinely wondered if someone was sneaking cocaine into Darienne’s pasta salads.

Obviously suffering from a rare pang of guilt, Vanessa sighed as she leant against Jan’s desk. “I don’t know. I think sometimes this party’s way too harsh on her. And the press.”

“Can you blame them?!” Brooke snorted derisively. “It sucks, but if you’re a woman in politics and you go out in dresses that look like someone put stick-on diamantes onto a burlap sack mid-seizure, of course Hello magazine are going to have a field day.”

“Come on, Brooke Lynn, you gotta admit that she’s a very nice woman,” Vanessa shook her head, laughing only slightly.

“Being a very nice woman doesn’t make you a good politician, though,” Jan chipped in with a grimace.

“So you’re going to follow her when she eventually goes then, Vanessa?” Nina piped up from behind her monitor, her eyebrows raised high into her blonde curls. Vanessa bit her lip.

“…well. I still want some form of career, let’s not take it too far.”

The three girls laughed as Vanessa blushed pink. Vanessa’s loyalty to Darienne didn’t stretch all that far. When Darienne had entered the job last year it had also meant she had arrived as Darienne’s senior advisor. It had quickly become clear to Brooke that Vanessa had got to where she was by telling people what they wanted to hear, smiling and nodding at every turn as Darienne drove the department into one dead end after another. Brooke admired Vanessa’s craftiness; her method of going along with whatever Darienne wanted meant that whenever the time came to blame someone Darienne never looked her way. Of course, Vanessa secretly hated basically every idea that Darienne had and quickly grew to trust Brooke (and eventually Jan when she joined the party) as somebody she could share her true feelings with. Over her time as part of Dosac the three girls had become great friends, forming a sort of secret alliance of common sense against Darienne’s crazy politics. She didn’t look in any way like a traditional government advisor, but Brooke still thought she was amazing.

At her job, that is.

“Face it, V,” Jan smiled sleepily, giving a stretch as Brooke shook herself out of her daydream. “Everyone’s running from Darienne like…ugh, I’m crap at one-liners at this time of the morning. Brooke, help me out?”

“Like she runs from Weight Watchers? Like obesity runs in her family? Like McDonald’s employees run whenever she steps foot in the building? Come on, Jan, that one was easy.”

“Guys, c’mon! That’s both way harsh an’ fatphobic as shit. Check yourself,” Vanessa chastised her friends, shaking her head. Jan pulled a guilty face and made a helpless gesture.

“All I’m saying is that Darienne Lake is sinking like the Titanic, if the Titanic was on fire and made entirely of burning shit, and we’re going to be playing the violins if we don’t start distancing ourselves from her as soon as we can,” she yawned.

“Does shit float or sink?” pondered Brooke as she chewed a pen.

“That’s not really the point here,” Jan rolled her eyes.

“Look, I don’ give a shit about burlap sacks, or burnin’ shit, or spitroasting or whatever the fuck you guys are talking ‘bout, I just think she’s gonna notice if we start lookin’ like we’re about to jump ship!” Vanessa cried, flustered.

Jan and Brooke shared a concerned look.

“I didn’t say anything about spitroasting. Do you even know what spitroasting is?” Brooke laughed uproariously. Jan and Nina giggled as Vanessa shot Brooke a displeased glare.

“No. It don’t sound very classy,” she sniffed, scrolling through her phone nonchalantly. As the laughter died down, Nina sighed from her desk.

“Even if she does notice, it won’t be an issue. I heard Bianca’s sorting her departure.”

The three girls gave Nina equally shocked glances, their jaws slack at this bomb of information coming from someone who was usually so little help.

“You…heard something? You have working ears? You have a working set of five senses?” Brooke teased her, gobsmacked but also a little excited at the prospect of getting someone competent in to run the department.

“Hey, I am actually of some use sometimes! Akeria over at Richmond Terrace told me at our last meeting.”

All at once, Brooke deflated in her seat. “Right, so what you really mean is…a senior press officer for the opposition told you that Bianca was planning to get rid of Darienne, knowing she’d eventually find out and making sure she’d become rattled so that Nicky would be able to capitalize on the fact that she’d be acting more like a bat on Ritalin than normal.”

Seeing Nina’s peeved expression, Jan piped up. “I’m sure there’s some element of truth in it, Brooke. I mean, Akeria’s not exactly party loyal, she’s just a civil servant.”

Brooke gave a little exhale. Jan was kind to the point of frustrating sometimes. “Well, if what Nina is saying is a fact-”

“Excuse me, I’m not Beedle the fucking Bard!” Nina cut in, resembling a meerkat as her head popped over the top of her monitor.

“- then maybe we should start distancing ourselves,” Brooke finished, shooting Nina an irked look, annoyed at having been interrupted. She noticed that Vanessa was giving her a confused sort of glance.

“How? How do we create distance when we’re advising the bitch?” she stammered, clearly becoming nervous at the prospect of a minor coup. Brooke laughed. These were the situations where Vanessa’s inexperience showed and, although it was sometimes tedious having to hold her hand through such conditions, it was also ever so slightly endearing.

“Don’t panic, ‘Ness, it’ll be fine. Bianca will have it taken care of,” she smiled, trying her best to reassure her friend.

Casting her eye to the clock, Jan narrowed her eyes. “V, you should probably head downstairs and meet the Minister. Her car’s going to be pulling up in, like, a minute.”

Cursing, Vanessa trotted towards the lifts as fast as her high heels could carry her. Brooke watched as she left, then exhaled loudly as she switched her computer on. Trying her best to relax, she cast her eye over the office. Apart from one glass-fronted room at the far end which belonged to Darienne, the majority of it was open plan. It was mostly filled with identical IKEA desks which were all the same shade of creamy grey and topped with piles and piles of work. Vanessa’s desk was messy with post-it notes plastered all round the screen of her monitor, encroaching on top of the piles of folders and ringbinders like some kind of horrific, neon disease. Brooke’s own was a sort of middle ground- most things were ordered but the nature of the job meant that sometimes a chaos of papers, files and briefing notes would sometimes hurricane itself across her desk. A stark contrast to the other two, Jan’s desk was like a beacon of order and tidiness in the hectic office. Everything had its place, her folders were all stored neatly and were colour-coded, and a packet of disinfectant wipes sat just beside the screen of her monitor. Their desks represented the three of them quite well.

Over to her left beside the lifts sat the cluster of desks which housed the communications team. Nina sat at its helm, situated near the desks of the advisors. To the right of Nina’s desk sat the two senior press officers, Scarlet and Yvie, and to Nina’s left were the two junior press officers, Jaida (who Brooke often thought to be far more competent than Nina and often prayed the two would somehow find themselves in some form of Freaky Friday body swap) and Adore, whose chair was empty. Brooke rolled her eyes hard- Adore had started as a civil service intern and Darienne had ended up keeping her on permanently. It had been another one of her diabolical decisions as Adore was ever so slightly scatterbrained, preferred scrolling her socials to tackling any of the pile of incomplete work the size of Kilimanjaro on her desk, and devoted around 90% of her day to making cups of tea. As a person she was great fun and brought a certain element of life to the office when everyone was down, but as someone Brooke had to work with she was a challenge. There had been many times where Brooke had fleetingly thought of pushing over the pile of folders on her desk one day and killing her, doing the department a great service.  

Before Brooke could even open her emails, Darienne was marching through the department with Vanessa following behind her holding two large, red briefcases.

“Morning, morning!” she sing-songed as she made her way into her office. “Meeting in ten, yes ladies?”

Brooke shrugged half-heartedly in response, scrolling through her emails with disinterest. As she watched Darienne swing her office door shut she let out a huge, bored sigh.

There was suddenly a flurry of activity as the sound of approaching footsteps thundered along the corridor. Soon enough, a small girl with wide eyes, cheeks flushed pink and blonde hair with black roots appeared and flung herself down into the empty desk beside Jaida. Getting herself comfy, she kicked her heeled boots off and fired up her computer. Adore had arrived.

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph, ain’t anyone able to get to work on time?!” Vanessa hissed, exasperated and trying desperately to mask the fact that Adore had only just arrived at the office. Sipping on the coffee that was no doubt in her porcelain keep cup, Adore shot her a slack-jawed smile as the other press officers looked up from their work.

“Hey, I was working, thank you very much! I was doing important party business before I got here.”

“What kind of important party business?” asked Yvie, her interest piqued at the thought of Adore voluntarily doing any work.

“Laila McQueen,” Adore beamed, taking another big, loud sip. Jan laughed as Brooke rolled her eyes so hard they threatened to fall out her sockets. “Hey, it just means we have The Independent on our side for the next couple of days!”

“Good work, girl. You’re like a broadsheet Julia Roberts. I didn’t know Bianca had started pimping people out,” Scarlet shot Adore a sarcastic grin and received a tight-lipped smile and one middle finger in response which made her snort a laugh.

“Yeah, yeah, very good, Adore, real impressive. That’s your one minute of glory up. You think you could go and get us some tea? And maybe some pastries, Darienne’ll probably be hungry,” Vanessa ordered, Adore pouting and lazily rising from her desk.

“Probably? It’s not like there’s an element of doubt to it,” Brooke snorted a laugh. “Get her a cinnamon roll the size of a fucking Swiss cheese, that should do her fine.”

Five minutes later, Brooke found herself sipping a subpar cup of tea in Darienne’s office, craving the sweet embrace of death as she listened to her witter on about how Raja Gemini wasn’t that intimidating, and that contrary to popular belief she was able to hold her own against the big journalists. Jan was attempting to talk her down from the ledge of misplaced confidence she had seemed to have clambered up to, Vanessa was doing her best impersonation of a nodding dog, and Nina was sleepily casting her eyes between Darienne and Jan as they spoke, her notebook blank.

“Do you have a strong opening line?” Jan asked the Minister nervously, prodding at her lip with nerves. Darienne smiled smugly, leaning back and relaxing in her chair.

“Once we implement these fines, the waiting times at A&E will be shorter than the waiting times at McDonalds. Ambulances will practically start operating drive thrus!” she reeled off, grinning proudly at the line she’d clearly spent hours thinking up. Stifling laughter, Brooke watched the reactions of the other girls. Nina’s pen hovered above her notebook hesitantly as if she couldn’t quite believe she had to write the drivel down, and Vanessa and Jan were staring at each other, wide-eyed with incredulity.

“Jesus. I’ve seen stronger newborn children,” Brooke sighed as she leant forward and sat her cup of tea on Darienne’s desk, too disgusted to attempt to drink any more.  “That cup of tea was stronger than that opening line.”

“Hey! I spent all night thinking that up,” Darienne cried, offended. Jan furrowed her brow.

“Honestly Darienne, it does kind of sound like you pulled it out of your ass.”

“Speaking of assholes, Bianca’s in the building,” Nina spoke up, checking her phone. The mood in the room suddenly plummeted.

Everyone was afraid of Bianca. The only separating factor was just how afraid they were of Bianca. She was the prime Minister’s enforcer and spin doctor, the lady who made it clear to everyone in government that they had to know the line and toe the line, often spinning the party out of crises like a terrifying dreidel. She had no time for time wasters, bluffers, blue-sky thinkers, or people who weren’t one hundred percent capable of doing their job, and often unleashed hell on those that weren’t. Brooke was a big girl, she could handle herself, but there was still something about the authority that Bianca radiated and how intimidating she was that made her just that little bit nervous. She knew she had an easy-going side, but Brooke hadn’t seen it often.

“She looking for us?” Vanessa asked nervously.

“No, I’m sure she’s walking around the department trying to get her steps in for the day. What do you think?!” Nina hissed back, glaring momentarily at Vanessa then back to her phone. “Any second now…”

“Good morning, Bianca,” Jan greeted as a woman strode confidently into the office on six-inch Louboutins. Despite the fact her caramel waves of hair had a slight haze of frizz from the drizzle outside she was otherwise perfectly put-together, wearing a matching black suit jacket and pencil skirt combo. Her makeup was bright like the patterns on a poisonous frog and her lips were painted with bright red lipstick. Or perhaps that was just the blood of another poor cabinet Minister.

“Yes, good morning, and I’m hoping it’s going to be a good fucking morning, because this one-” she trained a single black fake nail on Darienne’s face “-is fully prepped for her Gemini interview at 12, correct?”

“Don’t worry Bianca. I was up all night,” Darienne gave her a saccharine sweet smile, which Bianca turned her nose up at.

“So you’re fully aware she thinks it’s an utterly fucking horrible idea?” Bianca tilted her head very slightly.

“She’s not the only one,” Jan muttered, just loud enough for Brooke to hear.

Darienne looked somewhat put out, her face falling. Sighing, Brooke looked to the ceiling. Vanessa was right- the Minister was a nice lady, but how in the hell could she think that policy was anything less than an utter car crash?! Brooke began to allow herself to daydream, which admittedly was always a risk in Bianca’s presence, but already this day was like a huge, massive wave towering over them all before a tsunami and she needed to disconnect. She was aware of Bianca’s voice tearing into Darienne in the background.

“What if she asks you how many police hours this will take up? What are you going to say then?”

“I would simply point her to the amount of money that this policy would generate, which would well make up for the drain on resources-”

“Jesus H Fuck, who did your media training? Myra Hindley? Don’t use the word ‘drain’! Don’t use any words with any negative connotations whatsoever! I don’t want a single word out of place in this interview; otherwise Gemini is going to start analysing it like Gillian McKeith analyses people’s shit.”

Darienne appeared to think things over for a moment. “So can I…I mean…can I use the word no?”

Brooke only just stopped herself from physically slapping her hand to her forehead. Bianca looked incredulously at the faces of the four other girls, each as long-suffering as the last.

“Have I suddenly imagined a storybook character into life? Did a child make a wish on a shooting star last night, is that why fucking Moon-Face is sitting at a desk in front of me? Are the other Faraway Tree friends about to walk in through the door and start running the country?”

Darienne cast her eyes to the floor, the message well and truly received.

“You mentioned the amount of money that this would generate. Is this going to be the saving grace of this policy? Is this going to be the diamond ring within the shit of the dog who accidentally ate it?”

“You’re very faecally focussed today, Bianca,” Jan piped up with a frown as Brooke stifled a laugh.

“Yeah, well. It’s hard not to be when you’re within a 5 mile radius of this department,” she scoffed.

“Well within the first month, we’re looking to generate around…um, Vanessa?” Darienne cast her eyes to the senior advisor, whose gaze shifted to Bianca nervously.  

“Unbelievable. She can’t even retain her own fucking figures. Come on then, Britain’s number fifteen Rihanna impersonator, give me some good fucking news.”

“Uh, we think…well, Darienne thinks…that within the first month of enforcement we could generate around £25,000 in £50 fines.”

Bianca’s face grew very gradually cold, Vanessa freezing to the spot as if she’d just been stared at by Medusa. Even Brooke shivered.

“You mean to tell me,” she began, her voice extremely measured and shaking only slightly. “That out of a population of 64 million people, who normally stumble around the streets with their heads in their phone screens like puppets with their strings cut, we’d be able to fine…500 a month?”

“Well, we deliberately predicted under target so that the actual figure would come as a pleasant surprise!” Darienne smiled back, completely nonplussed at Bianca’s rage.

“If I could interject, I don’t seem to remember there being any ‘we’ about it,” Nina spoke up dryly, before lowering her head back down into her notebook.

“I really love the logic of this department. Maybe you should all become teachers! 50 add 50 equals 25, and when you find out that the real answer is actually 100, well that’s just a fucking pleasant surprise, isn’t it?! The crime stats from the last quarter revealed that there had been 73 murders committed, except- what a nice surprise! There were actually 78, because we forgot to count your five fucking bodies after I ripped them to fucking shreds!”

Brooke had no idea why Darienne was so calm. It was like her brain had been replaced by a huge goldfish bowl. Vanessa, however, looked a little shell-shocked, and Brooke couldn’t help the pang her heart gave as her protective instincts took over.

Only for a moment, though.

“We’ve got time to accumulate some more accurate figures. They wouldn’t be bang on, but definitely a lot more impressive than £25,000, and they’d probably placate Gemini,” Brooke shrugged, sitting up a little straighter in her seat as she addressed Bianca. Casting her frown Brooke’s way, Bianca seemed to calm down very slightly.

“Finally someone in this room that isn’t a massive, walking, talking sac of amniotic fluid. Get it done, okay? I’ll see you all after the interview.”

As Bianca left the room, the other girls all visibly relaxed. Vanessa began rubbing at her shoulder, clearly tense after being momentarily in the firing line. Flustered, Darienne finally spoke.

“Right well, Brooke, if you could sort that out within the hour,” she smiled, as if she was in control in any way. “Jan and Nina, if you could stay with me so that we can smooth out the finer details of this interview, and Vanessa if you could get started on the transport data please.”

“Uh, that ain’t gonna be possible, Minister, ‘cause I got a lot of stuff left over from yesterday an’ I still need to send that email over to Nick at the treasury, an’ uh…” Vanessa suddenly blurted out, clearly still slightly rattled from Bianca’s visit. Brooke screwed her face up. What the fuck was she doing? Darienne looked equally perplexed as Vanessa stammered a correction. “I mean…no, yeah, of course. I’ll get it done as soon as I can.”

As Darienne dismissed them and Brooke and Vanessa marched out of the office, Brooke immediately grabbed her by the arm and wrenched her into the toilets.

“Brooke Lynn! What the hell?!” Vanessa protested, her eyes fiery.

“What the hell was that in the office there?!”

Vanessa knit her brows together. “You told us to start distancing ourselves from her! I was tryin’ my fuckin’ best!”

“Yeah, distancing yourself, not starting a revolution! Am I talking to someone who works in politics or a seventeen year old who just got a D in their Modern Studies A-level?!” Brooke sighed, exasperated. She regretted it immediately when she saw Vanessa’s shoulders slump forward as she did her best impression of a kicked puppy.

“I’m sorry,” Vanessa muttered, shaking her head slightly. “I just…Bianca kinda panicked me.”

Without thinking, Brooke rested her hand on Vanessa’s arm in an attempt to comfort her. “Look…I know it’s hard for you. I get that you entered politics  as Darienne’s aide and that if she goes, the road ahead is going to be kind of…non-existent. Well, not non-existent, just extremely winding and bumpy and parts of it might not have been built yet. But you’re party loyal, right?”

Vanessa nodded silently. “I’m not a fuckin’ hack. I came into this job so I could help change things for people, except sometimes I just feel like we’re not doing much good.”

“Yeah, well. That’s because the PM is too balls-deep in his secretary to run the country for more than five minutes, but anyway. The point is that you’ll be okay, we’ll all be okay! You, me, Jan. The dream team,” Brooke beamed at her, her heart soaring as Vanessa’s face lit up. “Just keep following whatever Darienne does, but keep your ears open. Any sign of a possible new option, glue yourself to them. Do your best leech impression.”

Vanessa’s face contorted as she took Brooke’s last comment literally, and both of them shared a laugh.

“But don’t panic. Like Jan said, Bianca’s going to sort it. You saw her in there, she’s at the end of her tether with that giant egg we’ve got running the department. We’ll be fine.”

As Vanessa giggled, Brooke found herself blushing very slightly. Stepping forward that little bit more, she wrapped her arms around Vanessa in a gentle hug. She smelt of a very sweet, sugary perfume, and momentarily Brooke found it hard to let go, her heart thudding in her ribcage.

“Thanks, Brooke. You’re a sweetheart,” Vanessa smiled bashfully as she pulled away, sweeping her hair behind her ears. Brooke cast her eyes to the floor, embarrassed by the compliment.

“Come on. We’ve got work to do. You should start doctoring those transport stats for fun.”

Pushing open the door, Vanessa laughed and raised her eyebrows. “I got a C in my Modern Studies A-level anyway, so I don’t appreciate the accusation, ma’am.”

As the two girls made their way back to their desks, Brooke tried to clear her head. The conversation had dredged up a lot of feelings she’d been trying to repress. She didn’t have a crush on Vanessa. She wasn’t attracted to her like that at all. She was just protective of her, and she couldn’t help it if she was cute when she was flustered, or nervous, or happy, or irritated, or doing anything. That was just a fact. It didn’t mean she liked her as anything more than a friend.

Besides, the position of token workplace lesbian couple had already been filled by Scarlet and Yvie.

***

Brooke sighed, her disapproval hidden in the darkness of the news studio along with cameras, a teleprompter, and Vanessa. Why in the name of God was this interview live? It was barbaric to screen a brutal murder on lunchtime TV. Christ, there could be kids watching. Casting her eyes to the ceiling, she knew that Nina could have helped the situation. She could’ve pushed for it to be pre-recorded. But in her head she was already hearing the excuse about Raven at the BBC being “such a nice girl”, and that “she complimented my outfit once at Alyssa’s book launch”, so perhaps there was never any chance of it being anything but live.

As the Minister stammered and stuttered her way through her lines, Brooke wondered how Raja was able to keep such a stony, cold expression. She was essentially watching the complete breakdown of Darienne’s political credibility in front of her, that was surely worth some pity. Contemplating the situation, Brooke supposed that having pity wasn’t really going to do a journalist any favours. Raja had been out at Gaza, for fuck’s sake. She was hardly going to be sympathetic to this human pannacotta sat in front of her, Darienne’s voice wobbling and wavering over every line she spoke as Raja’s eyes bore into her.

Brooke looked briefly to Vanessa, who was just looking at Darienne sadly. Brooke had to feel sorry for her. Vanessa had placed her trust in the Minister to introduce her to the world of politics, a world she clearly wanted to be a part of for all the right reasons, and yet this was the thanks she got. Sitting having to watch her boss pedal horrific policy after horrific policy and watching as her and her colleagues got constantly ignored.

She deserved better.

Momentarily Brooke thought about making a joke, but reasoned that it would probably go down as well as a lead balloon. Instead, she texted Jan, safe from the debris of Darienne’s collapsing career at the office where she, Bianca and the communications team were all watching.    

B: Jesus. I’ve seen ISIS condemned for less than this.

There was a pause as Jan texted back. Brooke tuned back into the interview.

“…shorter than the, um, waiting times at McDonalds. Ambulances will practically start operating drive thrus!”

Brooke audibly groaned. Darienne had obviously inflated her life belt, pulling out her precious line as a last-ditch attempt to save the interview. Raja was less impressed.

“That sounds like an extremely serious comparison, Minister, you’re saying that this policy will simply rush patients through A&E as if they were…a burger? How thorough will doctors and nurses be?”

And there Darienne was again, back to flailing around the interview as if she was drowning.

J: I’ve never seen a human being reduced to actual liquid before. Hope you have a tub to transport her back to the office.

B: How’s Bianca holding up?

A pause.

J: I’ve seen mothers look less disgusted at their own afterbirth.

B: I really hope you haven’t.

***

The first thing Brooke, Darienne and Vanessa were greeted with on their arrival back at the office was Nina, a frown on her face.

“Well I’m glad that interview went so well. We’ve been fending off calls from several papers asking if this policy is, quote, the government’s dying whalesong, and The Sun are planning to run with the headline ‘Would you like dies with that’, in reference to the suggestion that the NHS is about to go down the drain.”

Brooke shook her head in contempt. “Imagine going to university for three years, getting a first in journalism, and then being paid to come up with that crap.”

“Absolutely. I think we should run with the line that these accusations are nonsensical,” Darienne bristled, annoyed that her pride and joy of a policy wasn’t making the impact it was supposed to. Brooke snapped her head round to face the Minister.

“I mean, I don’t think we can cover our backs that easily. You did that interview sounding as if you’d just survived a house fire, I mean why did you include that drive-thru line?!”

“It was an emergency! It was a last ditch attempt, I had to do something!” Darienne barked back, her face set in a frown.

Vanessa butted in. “An emergency line? A line to be used in an emergency? What the hell were the instructions? In case of emergency, break glass by throwin’ yourself through the top floor window of Broadcasting House?!”

The shouting match was stopped abruptly as Jan’s calm drawl trailed through the office. “Brooke, I just got a text from Bianca. She said she wants to see you in her office in five minutes, and if you’re late she’s going to make you stand in the Dosac lobby on a hot day and watch your face fry off.”

A horrified pause. “Her words, not mine.”

Exhaling noisily, Brooke grabbed her bag from where she’d just thrown it down on her desk. She tried to ignore Darienne’s smug smile as she made her way to the lift and a meeting with the most feared woman in politics.

***

Being able to see the inner workings of 10 Downing Street was like the part in The Wizard Of Oz when the curtain gets pulled back to reveal the Wizard as a sham. On the outside, it was the most perfect professional façade, a backdrop for thousands of press announcements, resignations and appointments. On the inside it resembled a prison riot at best, a hive of people running around trying to fix something, or spin something, or frantically complete some piece of unfinished work. It was slightly quieter today, Brooke had noticed, as she sat on a hard, wooden chair outside Bianca’s office.

She’d been there dead on time but Bianca was running ten minutes late so far. Lesser, more idiotic humans would call her out on it, but Brooke had a functioning brain and a desire to stay alive until at least the end of the day. She blew a strand of hair out of her face and curled her lip. She hadn’t a clue why Bianca had called her for a meeting and chose to pass up on the opportunity to berate Darienne about that car crash of an interview. If Bianca was looking for someone to blame, it couldn’t be Brooke. She had been under the impression that Bianca found her tolerable, but you could never really tell what her opinions on anything were. The woman’s poker face was so good she could’ve gone professional in Vegas.

The varnished, wooden door of Bianca’s office suddenly swung open, Bianca standing poised in front of Brooke like a bird of prey.

“You’re late,” she sniffed, as she held the door open for Brooke to come in. Mumbling an apology, Brooke slumped down into the leather-bound chair opposite Bianca’s desk and simply waited for whatever was about to come, looking casually around the room. It was a setting she knew all too well- the marble, white fireplace, the eerie green lamp giving off an abnormal white light on her desk. The nondescript paintings of some long-dead war heroes, the bookcases filled with files and files and files. The entire room screamed power and intimidation.

“Do you want a coffee, Brooke?” Bianca began casually as she sat down opposite her. Perplexed, Brooke shook her head.

“I’m okay…I’d kind of just like to find out why I’m here. I mean, aren’t you supposed to be after Darienne?”

Snorting a laugh, Bianca rose from her chair and moved to perch on the edge of her desk. She was slightly above Brooke’s level, but her tone and general aura were quite relaxed, bordering on informal.

“You were friends with Jaqueline Cox at university, correct?”

Ouch. The memories ripped through Brooke’s mind like a migraine. Jackie Cox, the know-it-all in every seminar. Jackie Cox, the try-hard in every presentation. Jackie Cox, with the smug smile and the glossy dark hair and the perfect matching stationary. She knew Jackie, and Brooke knew enough to know she wasn’t a fan.

“Friends is pushing it. She was on the same course as me and was about as irritating as thrush, and that’s all I really had to do with her,” she sniffed in her own non-committal way. Bianca flared her nostrils and made a face, indicating to Brooke that she’d given a wrong answer.

“Okay, maybe my phrasing was a little off. In case you haven’t noticed, you haven’t stumbled into some friendship bracelet craft class, this is Downing Street. So I’ll rephrase the question. Is she any good?”

Brooke felt momentarily like she was trapped in a lion enclosure. “Is she any good at…?”

“At juggling silicone breast implants and walking a tightrope over a lake of tepid piss. Is she any good at politics?!”

“God, I mean…I guess she’d be a good politician,” Brooke admitted begrudgingly. “She’s principled, she’s got strong morals and a backbone. She’s eloquent enough and nowhere near as big a car crash as that sheep’s placenta we’ve got as a Minister.”

Bianca smiled fleetingly, then stood and walked back to her chair, appeased.

“Perfect,” she said, her eyes boring into Brooke’s as she sat down. Looking momentarily behind her, Brooke shifted in her seat.

“So…why are you asking about Jackie?” she asked slowly, drawing each word out just that little bit too long to be necessary in her hesitation. Bianca smiled slowly in return.

“It came to my attention this afternoon that maybe there needs to be some…changes made around here. My party is being made to look like a laughing stock, and I don’t like it,” she growled, her eyes growing dark. “Darienne’s been palming off her expenses forms onto you, correct?”

Brooke nodded silently.

“Maybe it would be in your best interests…and the party’s best interests…to doctor them slightly. Then if they end up in the hands of the media…so be it. She’s left with no credibility, there’s no coming back from that. She’ll have to resign. Then really all that’s left to do is get a replacement in. Smooth as a bottle of Moët,” Bianca shrugged, leaning back in her chair calmly. Blinking twice, Brooke suddenly became apprehensive.

“Bianca, I can’t…I can’t just fake her expenses claims.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Do you have a note from your Mum? Have you got a cold and you can’t take part in this part of your actual job? You’re surprising me, Brooke,” Bianca sighed, clearly disappointed. “I honestly thought you had something different in you. A spine, a brain. Some form of drive, determination to succeed. You love this party, yes? You came into politics to make a difference, right?”

Brooke flinched slightly. Bianca was hitting her where it hurt, and she knew it was going to get a rise out of her. “Of course. I want us to succeed. I want us to change things.”

Bianca smiled, glad to have received a sufficient reaction.

“Then sometimes things have to be done by any means necessary,” she said gravely, running her tongue along her teeth. “If Jackie accepts the offer, she’ll be the new head of Dosac by tomorrow afternoon.”

Something about the whole appointment of Jackie Cox didn’t sit right with Brooke. She was just an annoying, opinionated, mouthy university girl, and there were ten a penny of those in London. Why her? Why not someone slightly more tolerable?

“Why does it have to be Jackie, why can’t it be someone else?” she voiced what she was thinking, annoyed. Bianca laughed, clearly amused.

“Okay, Miss Political Advisor. Advise me, since I’ve clearly not weighed up all the options.”

Stuck for a moment, Brooke’s brain began racing round at a hundred miles an hour. “Kelly Mantle. The back bencher from Education, she’s good.”

“No. She looks too much like a resident of Whoville to be put in the spotlight. Can you imagine when she inevitably fucks up, what the headlines will be? Who dunnit? Whose fault is it this time? Who, who, who, all over the front pages like owls with tourettes.”

Brooke sighed, then perked up with another idea. “What about Bianca Castro from Health?”

“Who, Jiggly?” Bianca asked, nonplussed.

“…Bianca Castro. She has a good track record, the public would love her-”

“Yeah, Jiggly.”

“Bianca, her name isn’t Jiggly.”

“The media damn well think it is after they got hold of those photos of her at the all-you-can-eat world buffet. Not exactly astounding publicity for a junior health Minister. She’s going nowhere.”

Brooke barely held in a grunt of frustration. “Ongina, that MP for-”

“Her name literally sounds like vagina. PR disaster. Next.”

“Jade Jolie.”

“She couldn’t run a bath, never mind a department.”

“Lashawn, then?!”

Bianca threw her head back and hooted a laugh. “You’re joking, right? Can you imagine her even trying to pronounce some of the names on the immigration database? She stays firmly on the back bench.”

Brooke pouted a little, frustration seeping out of every pore. Seeing her obvious displeasure, Bianca’s tone became placating, the woman’s softer side making a rare appearance.

“Look. Right now, we need strong leaders in this party. Jackie is about as strong as we’re going to get from what I’ve heard, and we need her to steer us out of this ditch that Darienne’s gradually lowered us into. You don’t need to worry about a thing, apart from those expenses forms. I’ll take care of it,” she smiled, reassuring Brooke as she stood and made to leave. Before she reached the door, a thought suddenly struck her like iced lightning, freezing her to the spot.

“Bianca…” Brooke began hesitantly. “Do you think Jackie will come with her own people? I mean, I’m not hugely up to date with her movements, so I don’t know how prepared she’ll be, and I’m fine, I can look after myself, you know? But like, Vanessa…and Jan, of course. Will she…will they get to keep their jobs?”

Bianca’s eyes were instantly on her, searching and wondering about the hidden agenda behind Brooke’s question. “I’ve worked with you for a while, Brooke Lynn. I must say, I’ve never seen you get attached to anyone in this game.”

“Well, you know,” Brooke shrugged, maintaining a cool exterior. “We work well together. We’re a good team. And she’s a valuable member of the department, that’s all.”

“Vanessa or Jan?” Bianca questioned.

“They both are! I just…I just want to make sure they’ll both be fine.”

Bianca moved to the doorway, gently showing her out. “Just doctor those expenses. Try not to pop a blood vein while doing so.”

Sighing, Brooke shook Bianca’s hand and click-clacked her way down the marble hallway towards the famous black door. Not too far along the corridor, she heard Bianca call after her.

“Brooke Lynn!”

She turned around sharply.

“Loyalty gets remembered in this party. Especially by me.”

***

Brooke hit send on her email to Bianca at 5.30pm on the dot. Darienne had claimed for Ubers from here to Downing Street, business lunches at nearby curry houses, and, just for laughs, a helicopter. Brooke had felt a little guilty fabricating it all, but it was impossible not to. If she had a complete lack of morals she’d be working for Nicky’s party, not Darienne’s. However, as Bianca had said, it was for the good of the party that she had to go.

She was still unsure about Jackie though. If everything went smoothly, by this time tomorrow she’d be sitting in Darienne’s office barking orders at her. It would be like every university group project all over again. Brooke had never actively disliked Jackie, she’d just found her grating. She was slightly unique, though. True, there were many girls of her type on her course, argumentative and challenging, but there were few that held their composure so well throughout a debate, maintaining class and superiority the entire time. Maybe that’s why she’d rubbed Brooke the wrong way so violently. Anyway, there had been a good eight years separating her time at uni and her time within the realm of politics. Perhaps Jackie was different now.  

Shutting down her computer, she swivelled her chair round to face the other girls. She’d communicated to everyone through hushed whispers that Bianca’s plan was being put into effect immediately, creating an excited buzz around the office for the last few hours of the day. Regrettably she’d noticed that Vanessa had become more subdued because of it, the girl clearly wondering where this left her career. Brooke wanted nothing more than to see her happy again. She just hadn’t had time to attempt to cheer her up in between the expenses and finishing the transport data.

It looked as if Adore had already left, her chair empty and her bag gone with her half-empty coffee cup on her desk. Nina had long since vanished, her desk clear and any evidence of her ever having been there completely gone. Jaida was clearly in for the long shift, still working steadily through her excel spreadsheet with an energy drink by her keyboard. Jan was pulling on her coat, fixing her hair rapidly, and Scarlet and Yvie looked ready to leave too. Vanessa suddenly appeared in front of her.

“Hey,” she smiled gently. “We’re goin’ for a drink, think we could all do with one after today. You coming?”

Brooke fleetingly thought of a night with the girls, of just having a laugh and being slightly less stressed than normal. The thought of a glass of wine was tempting, but then the immediate thought of work the next day and how chaotic it would be made her decision for her.

“Sorry, ‘Ness. I’m going to head back. Next time though, yeah?” Brooke gave a tight smile, sighing a little when Vanessa’s face grew slightly more disappointed than before. As she nodded understandingly and turned to leave, Brooke suddenly grabbed her hand without really knowing why. Checking the office to see if anyone was looking at them, Vanessa then gazed at Brooke, confused.

“Talk to me. You’re still worried about tomorrow, aren’t you?” Brooke murmured quietly, trying not to draw attention to them. Jan was chatting happily with Scarlet and Yvie was hugging Jaida goodbye, so they were safe for now.

Vanessa’s face was worried. “I just don’t like the uncertainty. I wouldn’t be as worried if it didn’t mean I could get split up from you and Jan. We’re so good together. I don’t wanna lose that.”

Brooke’s heart swelled a little in her chest. “Listen. Don’t make it common knowledge, but I might have had a hand in Bianca’s plan. She kind of hinted that I’d be repaid in some way. We’ll all stay, don’t worry. I trust her.”

Brooke almost breathed a sigh of relief as Vanessa’s shocked face grew into a bright, happy smile. “Fuck, Brooke Lynn, you serious?!”

“Yeah. I got one wish. I sold my soul to the devil. Sue me,” Brooke snorted sarcastically, making Vanessa laugh.

“Wait, what’d you have to do for her?” Vanessa whispered, her eyes excited.

“I had to sleep with her. It was horrendous. She eats pussy like I eat noodles. Slurp slurp slurp.”

Vanessa’s nose wrinkled up as she laughed uproariously, drawing the attention of the other girls to them to Brooke’s dismay. Vanessa looked beautiful when she laughed. Then again, she looked beautiful all the time. That was just a fact, of course.

“Hey, Brooke! You coming out with us or what? Silk and Akeria are joining, ” Yvie yelled over, smiling as she wrapped her arm around Scarlet’s slim waist. Brooke tried her best not to screw her face up- she had a hard time being polite to anyone from the opposition, even if they were only civil service comms officers.

“Nah, she’s being boring,” Vanessa teased, sticking her tongue out.

“Aw, come on, Brooke! You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, ‘specially tequila ones,” Scarlet piped up, giggling and throwing her other arm around Yvie. Brooke smiled at the affectionate couple.

“Yeah, well, like Vanessa said, I’m being boring tonight. You and Yvie take care of those two liver transplants waiting to happen, okay? I can’t quite believe I’m saying it but you need to be the responsible ones.”  

As Scarlet laughed, Yvie and Jan said their goodbyes to Brooke. Vanessa was still hovering at her desk, a small smile on her face as she bent down and hugged Brooke without warning.

“You’re the best member of this whole department, an’ the best damn work friend I could want,” she whispered, her words lighting up Brooke’s heart. Pulling back, she gave a quick glance to the girls who were waiting on the lift to arrive. “I owe you one, bitch. Have a good night. Eat dinner and sleep well, ‘kay?”

Brooke gazed fondly at Vanessa, her tiny frame retreating into the lift. Vanessa cared about her. She cared about everyone. It was part of the reasons why Brooke liked her so much.

In the most platonic way possible, obviously.

***    

Arriving at work the next day, it was clear that Bianca’s plan had worked. Thanks to a few emails to the big papers, Darienne’s false expenses claims were plastered over all the front pages, giving a pretty damning verdict.

“She’s good at leaking, isn’t she? Bianca, I mean,” Nina pondered casually from her desk, causing Brooke to look up from The Times.

“She’s brilliant. She’s like an 85 year old woman that never did pelvic floor exercises,” Scarlet muttered, ignoring the ringing phone.

“Nothing in The Independent about it though, I’ll give you that, Adore. Laila McQueen must’ve been one satisfied customer,” Jan laughed, holding up the front page which was jarringly dissonant with the other headlines, instead focussing on something to do with the polar icecaps melting.

“I’m good! I keep telling you all and you never listen,” Adore winked cheekily, as the phone continued to ring.

“Ain’t someone gonna answer that?!” Vanessa snapped, frustrated. Jaida reached for the receiver hesitantly, looking at Nina to gauge her reaction. Fixing her eagle eyes on her in disapproval, Jaida drew her hand back as if the phone was a hot stove.

“I’ve told them all we’re in a no comment situation,” Nina turned to Vanessa, shrugging. “There’s nothing else we need to say. If those bastards don’t get the meaning of that then quite frankly they shouldn’t be in journalism.”

Brooke stayed quiet throughout the whole exchange. She was worried, fretting about what Darienne would say when she arrived. She knew full well she was going to get the blame, hell, she was to blame. As much as Brooke could pretend to be completely ruthless, the guilt was beginning to seep in. At this point everyone in the department knew it was Brooke who had a hand in fixing the expenses forms and although everyone was being perfectly normal and friendly towards her, she was concerned about what they really thought and what they’d say when she left the room.

She hadn’t even seen Jan come and stand next to her.

“You’re awful quiet today, sweetie,” she drawled, leaning against a set of shelves that contained about twenty thousand government files. “Everything alright?”

Brooke nodded silently, brushing her fringe out of her face. That didn’t appear to satisfy Jan.

“Look, nobody thinks any less of you for what you did. It’s politics, it’s not kid’s TV. Sacrifices have to be made, people have to be disposed of. You did the department a favour, to be honest,” she continued, as if she could read Brooke’s mind. Brooke couldn’t help but smile. Jan had a certain telepathic quality, and often she could begin cheering you up before you even knew what reasons you had to be sad. She was a total ray of sunshine, and her happy-go-lucky personality was welcome in the department today.

“Thanks, girl,” Brooke sighed, stretching out in her chair and giving Jan a tight smile. “That means a lot. You’re a blessing to this department. I mean, God knows the mood in here today’s about as flat as…well. Maybe it’s my turn to not be good at one-liners today.”

Jan laughed softly, leaning back a little more against the files. “I try my best. But hey, I should thank you! Once Darienne goes, I might see about standing as an MP in the next by-election.”

Brooke raised her eyebrows a little. She had no idea that Jan had even had ambitions outside of performing at every available karaoke bar London had to offer. “Really?!”

“Yeah, I’ve kind of been thinking about it for a while.”

Brooke was secretly excited about the prospect of working with just Vanessa. Purely because things would be easier to organise between just two people, and things would just run more smoothly. It wasn’t because she had a crush on her or anything, that would be a ridiculous accusation. Brooke was a professional. There was no scope for things like that in this game.

“Well, I’m sure you’d be amazing. The public would love you,” she smiled at her friend sincerely. Flattered, Jan relaxed completely against the shelves, a giant file careering from the top shelf onto the ground.

“I’ll get it,” Brooke reassured Jan, whose face was apologetic.

“Right, I’m goin’ to fetch Darienne,” Vanessa announced, making her way to the lifts a little nervously. “Smiles an’ happiness when she arrives please, people, try not to make the office feel too much like a wake.”

Yvie tipped her head back over the back of her chair, looking at Vanessa upside-down. “Are we not supposed to be mourning the bitch’s career?”

With a long-suffering shake of her head, Vanessa disappeared into the lift.

Five minutes later, Brooke was picking up the dropped file from behind the shelf when two sets of footsteps thundered through the office and a voice cut through the click-clack, tapping keyboards and ringing phones.

“MEETING ROOM, NOW!”

Slowly, Brooke crept towards Darienne’s office, following a running Nina and Jan. Darienne was standing behind the desk, her face a thunderstorm. As soon as Brooke skulked in she narrowed her eyes.

“Can someone, maybe Brooke Lynn, tell me why my face is all over the papers like a disgraced fucking gym teacher?!” she barked, her voice reverberating off the glass door of her office.

“Okay, there must have been some form of mix-up with the forms because yours was completely clean when I submitted it,” Brooke immediately fired back. She’d had a bit of time to come up with her defence and, even though it was completely feeble, it was better than silence.

“That’s got to be the most shit excuse I’ve ever heard. How does something like that happen?!” Darienne yelled back. Suddenly, everyone’s eyes shifted to the doorframe of the office, where Bianca had arrived.

“Hey, big spender,” she greeted the Minister, the joke sitting out of place with the purpose of her arrival.

“Bianca, I didn’t claim for those things. I don’t know what’s going on, I gave my forms to Brooke to do, we need to tell the press that these claims are fake!” Darienne gibbered, panicking like Bianca was holding her hostage.

“Yeah, what are we running with, Bianca? We’ve been in a no comment situation all morning,” Jan asked.

“The phone’s been ringing off the hook. I’ve been ignoring it but we’ve got to give them something soon enough,” Nina shrugged, nodding in agreement. Bianca let out a harsh exhale, rubbing her neck tersely.

“Oh, Jesus Christ, could you all just get off my back for a hot second?! You’re like a pack of fucking fleas. Are you not supposed to be a team of advisors? Are you not supposed to be head of communications?!” Bianca cried, shooting Nina an icy glare. Completely unfazed, Nina clicked her pen.

“Yes, but I’m completely unable to do anything if I don’t know what we’re communicating!”

Bianca rolled her huge eyes up to the heavens, seemingly trying to cool her boiling blood. As Brooke scanned her eyes over the rest of the room, she caught Vanessa looking straight at her, her eyes a little fearful. Brooke shot her the most reassuring smile she could manage and almost gave an audible sigh of relief when Vanessa seemed to relax.

“So, you want to go out to the media and tell them that, hey! It’s not so bad, because the truth is that I’m too lazy to fill out my own fucking expenses forms, so I just gave them to one of my aides to fill out! I’m not actually keeping that close an eye on how much I’m claiming back! Do you realise how that’s going to look?” Bianca scowled, Darienne sighing and slumping into her chair.

“So what do we do?!” she asked, her voice somewhere between a whine and a plea. Brooke began to feel a bit less guilty as she rolled her eyes. She wished Darienne had a bit more backbone, a bit more of a spine. It would endear her to her a lot more. That sort of big-eyed deer act was only cute when Vanessa did it.

There was a momentary silence in which Nina clicked her pen repeatedly, looking from Darienne to Bianca, then back to Darienne.

“You have two options,” Bianca finally said, her voice much quieter than before. Turning to the other girls, she addressed them gravely. “Could you ladies give us a moment.”

Not a question, a demand. One by one, Brooke, Vanessa, Jan and Nina all filed out and wordlessly closed the door. After a heartbeat of silence, Nina sprinted over to the comms team.

“Is it happening?!” Scarlet asked, wide-eyes and open mouthed, like a child at Christmas.

“It’s happening now! It’s happening now. Two bullets in the back of the head, bang, bang!” Nina replied excitedly, her voice ringing through the offices as she mimed a brutal murder.

“Nina!” Vanessa hissed, motioning to the glass-fronted office where Bianca and Darienne were standing motionless, looking at Nina impassively. Horrified, she abruptly sat down in her seat.

“I can’t believe it’s actually going on right now. Fuck. She’s gonna hate me, ain’t she?” Vanessa worried, biting her nails. Jan slapped her hand away from her mouth.

“Stop that!” she reprimanded, Vanessa looking to the floor sheepishly. “She won’t hate you, and if she does, well, that’s politics. She’s a grown adult, she can handle it. She knew the profession she was entering into was ruthless.”

“Nobody could hate you,” Brooke added, brushing Vanessa’s cheek with her finger very slightly. “You’re like a fucking carebear. It’s impossible.”  

A pink blush crept over Vanessa’s face. “You two are too sweet to me, get outta here. Hey, have we heard about a replacement?”

Brooke sighed. “I don’t know if she’s accepted it or not yet, but Bianca told me Jackie Cox is in the running.”

Jan and Vanessa’s faces both screwed up. “Who the hell is that?”

“I went to Uni with her. I didn’t even know she was in the game until Bianca told me she’d scouted her out. I still think Jiggly would be better.”

“You mean Bianca Castro?” Jan raised one eyebrow.

“Fuck, yes. Now she’s got me doing it,” Brooke sighed, further confusing the two girls.

Suddenly, there was a creak from the office door. Darienne emerged, her posture perfect and her head held high as she walked towards the three girls. Her eyes were cold, so much so that Brooke found herself shivering a little.

“Right, well. Thank you, ladies, for your unwavering support. I wish you all very long and successful careers,” she said cooly, then her face darkened. “And I hope you all get heart failure.”

“Aw Darienne, c’mon!” Vanessa pleaded as the ex-Minister marched towards the lift, a storm cloud of rage. As Darienne stepped into the lift, Yvie began whistling Another One Bites The Dust under her breath and Scarlet started laughing so hard Brooke momentarily thought she was suffocating.

Brooke started laughing too. She had to, she couldn’t help it. This pathetic, et tu, Brute? act was wearing. Jan was right, these were the rules of the damn game. People in the department had come and gone as if Dosac was a massive revolving door and Darienne had never shed a tear for them. Brooke hated the hypocrisy that was so freely batted about in politics. Mourning a departure with a simple “it’s a shame, but they had to go” and then acting like the damn Godfather when your own time came. There was no dignity in it, no class.

“Ding dong, the useless fucking bitch is dead,” Bianca deadpanned, Vanessa relaxing and giggling a little at the slightly less high-intensity Bianca.

“What happens now, then?” Brooke asked her. “Did Jackie take the job?”

“Like a trout on a hook. Barely even had to sell it to the kid. Right, here’s the line!” Bianca suddenly yelled, loud enough that Darienne could probably hear it from the ground floor. “Darienne will be giving a statement outside Number 10 in fifteen minutes. After that, all I want to hear is praise. Praise, praise, praise, Psalm one hundred and fucking one. At 12pm, you guys will have a new Minister. Nina, it’s your job to break her in. Break her fucking spine if necessary.”

Nina nodded apprehensively, unsure of how serious Bianca was.

“I’ll see you all again at half 12. Oh, and Destiny’s Child?” Bianca said, turning suddenly to address Brooke, Vanessa and Jan as she hit the button of the lift. “It won’t be necessary to clear your desks if you don’t plan on leaving.”

As Bianca left Vanessa turned excitedly to Brooke and Jan, grinning madly as she gave them a huge hug, happy at being allowed to stay.

Brooke decided she’d probably have quite literally stabbed Darienne in the back in order to have that smile flashed at her again.

***

“Ladies, I’d like to introduce your new Minister for the Department of Social Affairs and Citizenship…Jackie Cox!”

Everyone started clapping, but in equal measures scrutinising the tall girl in front of them, standing beside Nina nervously and waving hello. She hadn’t changed all that much since Brooke had last seen her. Her hair was still long, swept back into a neat pearl headband so that her dark waves fell down her back instead of over her shoulders. Her makeup was simple as it always had been: a few swipes of mascara, a dark brown eye pencil to bring out her equally dark eyes, a dusky rose shade on her lips. She was in a matching red suit jacket and tailored skirt, and had red heels on to match. Brooke’s feet were beginning to get sore in her own heels, tired from standing in line with Vanessa and Jan waiting to welcome Jackie. She didn’t have to wait much longer though as Jackie was already shaking Vanessa’s hand, smiling and gushing about how she was so honoured to take up the position and how she was so looking forward to working with her. Brooke stared at her, a little irritated with the dramatics. Jackie then moved on to Jan who was standing in the middle of the line. Brooke watched as they both looked at each other, Jan sort of open-mouthed and Jackie seemingly finding it hard to formulate words.

“You must be Janette. It’s so good to meet you,” she finally said as she shyly held out her hand. Jan took it, shaking it gently.

“It’s good to meet you too. And, uh, Jan’s fine. My friends call me Jan. Not that you’re my friend, of course, you’re my boss. But uh. You can still call me that,” Jan mumbled, her voice quiet and a little nervous and her eyes not once tearing away from Jackie’s.

“Right! Sure. I, um. I hope you’re staying on?” Jackie asked, her voice a little hopeful as she gave Jan a smile, her teeth white and dazzling.

“Absolutely. I can’t wait to start working with you! It’ll be, uh. Jan-tastic!” Jan raised her eyebrows a little as she made her joke, Jackie giving a polite laugh of her own. Brooke’s brow furrowed in confusion, the corners of her mouth turning down slightly. What the fuck was this?

“Well, I’m really excited to get started. It was so good meeting you, Jan,” Jackie smiled, giving Jan one last look as she finally tore her eyes away and faced Brooke. Her face immediately changed, taking on an awkward sort of expression as it was clear she had no idea what to say to Brooke. “Brooke Lynn! Hi! What a nice surprise! Gosh, it’s been a while!”

“Yeah, like, eight years. You look good,” Brooke replied curtly, not really instantly warming to Jackie despite her efforts.

“It’ll be nice working together. Just like at uni! I didn’t really believe it when Bianca said you were here!”

“Yeah, well. I’m just climbing the ladder. Where have you been these past few years, anyway?”    

“Just the stock exchange. It was always the economic side of our degree I was more interested in, but when Bianca phoned me I thought this was a pretty unmissable opportunity!” Jackie beamed at an unimpressed Brooke. Receiving no reply, she stepped back a little awkwardly. “Anyway, it’s nice that you’re here. I’d better start my briefing, so I’ll speak with you later?”

Brooke nodded wordlessly as Jackie click-clacked away. Say ‘nice’ again, bitch, I dare you.

Vanessa tilted her head as she watched Jackie retreat, her glossy hair swaying.

“Well, I like her. I think she’s gonna be good,” she concluded, clasping her hands together. Brooke narrowed her eyes at Jan, whose gaze was still fixed on Jackie.

“Jan-tastic? What the hell was that?”

Jan gave her a funny look. “What?! You know I love a pun.”

“Not just that. What about your MP thing? You’re seriously going to pass that opportunity up?”

Jan leant back against the glass door of Darienne’s old office, gazing dreamily at nothing in particular. “Um…yeah. Yeah, I think I’ll stay on. I’m still young, I’ve got time for the whole MP endeavour in a few years’ time. No, I think I’ll stick around here for a bit longer. Things might get interesting.”

Still confused at Jan’s sudden change of heart, Brooke shook her head and shrugged. In her opinion Jan was out of her mind, but if that was her decision then that was that. As Vanessa and Jan chatted excitedly Brooke made her way back to her desk, her head kind of in a daze. A lot was happening and she didn’t really know what the next few months were going to be like. An economist in a political position wasn’t new, but she was still reserved about welcoming Jackie with open arms. Still, whatever would happen she was glad that she had Vanessa and Jan to stumble through it all with.

God, she was glad Vanessa was staying.

Looking over to the Comms team she saw that Yvie’s computer was displaying the BBC website, where a live stream of Darienne’s resignation speech was playing. Yvie was sat in her chair, Jaida crouching at her right and Scarlet at her left, Adore peering over Scarlet’s shoulder as Darienne set down her sheets of paper and walked away from the lectern set up outside Downing Street. Yvie threw her hands in the air as if she was praising God.

“The old Minister is dead,” she cried dramatically. “Long live the Minister!”

[anonreign-9]

Zeke Yeager Alphabet Fluff

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Zeke is a simple man who likes doing simple things. He isn't one to go out, he prefers home dates. His favorite thing to do with you is probably have some evening tea/wine and talk for hours. You two have the best discussions about history, stories, experiences, etc.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

He admires how bold you are, how you "call it as you see 'em" and also your curiosity. Which is why you two get along well. Look wise, he loves that ass.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

The first time he went through you having a rough day he offered you a cigarette. Zeke isn't the greatest at comforting people so he had a lot to learn. Once he got the hang of it, he would sit you down, helping you to catch your breath and ask you what is going on. He'd pour you a glass of wine and plop your feet on his lap while listening to you express yourself.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Zeke knows that there won't be much of a future with his circumstances, so he tries not to think of the future and just enjoy the present. He reminds you that it would make him happy if you'd move on once he's gone, "just don’t replace me too quickly" he says sarcastically. But Zeke makes sure that you are set up for success and happiness closer to his term being up.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Honestly, you two are equal. Your relationship is unique from others and you're the only person Zeke doesn't feel the need to dominate/step over. Your relationship is mellow and there is mutual respect, although, he definitely does like being dominant in bed.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Zeke is quick to forgive you but fights have never been that bad. He always agrees to disagree so you guys don't waste your precious time negatively.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Zeke is definitely grateful. It honestly surprises him how devoted you are to him even after he's gone for long periods of time. He's grateful for your love and greatly appreciates you.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Zeke is a man full of secrets. He doesn't lie to you but he does keep things from you. Only with the best intentions though. It's usually about war related stuff, like his ulterior motives, scheming against their government and all that good stuff. He doesn't see a reason for you to know all that, he wants to keep up his somewhat good image he thinks you have of him even though you know Zeke is a man of many flaws.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Yes, definitely. Zeke is still the same man but he has a little more empathy towards certain situations. You never forced him to change but after being around you for so long, your gentle heart rubbed off on him. You sometimes pop in his head when he's about to make drastic decisions.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Zeke doesn't really get too jealous, he knows you could leave him if you really wanted to, so he has a lot of trust. But he doesn't appreciate other men "disrespecting" his relationship and would pull them aside, threatening/smart talking to them when you're not paying attention.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He is hands down the best kisser. Your first kiss together was steamy and he really went for it. Zeke isn't a shy man. He knew the attraction was mutual so he went for that kiss with total confidence.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

He wouldn’t actually, you’d have to initiate that. Zeke doesn’t see the point in starting a relationship due to his future and his priorities. When he developed feelings of love for you it was a very confusing time for him and it took a lot of convincing and reassurance. So his confession would come after yours.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Honestly marriage wasn't even an option for obvious reasons. You both knew it and so it was never brought up. Regardless, you both were content and didn't need "marriage" as a way to be closer.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Zeke gets creative with his pet names for you. He is always switching it up depending on your mood,situation, inside jokes. If you're on the cranky side he'd call you something like "Ms sassy" "cranky kitty" "mad woman" or just something to annoy you and he loves it. But if he's being more endearing, probably "love" "darling”

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Zeke is good at hiding it, not on purpose or because he wants to, but he really loves you more than you know. Of course he tells you, but it's the little things that you don't know, like how his heart flutters when he's about to walk in the door to see you, or how after a long/rough mission, he fantasizes about making love to you and holding you. He doesn't talk about you much to his comrades because he sees it as it not being any of their business. He won't try to hide you though if you guys bump into someone he knows.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Zeke will show an appropriate amount of PDA in public only if it’s the two of you. When others tag along or if you two are around people Zeke knows then he is more discrete. Not because he is embarrassed but just because he can get a little conservative.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship.

His charm. Zeke could talk his way out of any situation and convince you that you're not actually mad, you're just hungry or tired. He's very slick with his words and will also use those words of his to get you flustered.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Zeke can sometimes be cliché. He will bring you the usual flowers or chocolates randomly but on special occasions he likes to get creative. You would rave about wanting to see the airships, or go somewhere you're not supposed to and Zeke will make it happen. You guys never get caught or in trouble since he has his perks but normally, he'd never do something like that for anyone since he's technically not allowed.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He's definitely supportive and would do anything to help you achieve your goals/dreams. He would totally be the type to "get the ball rolling" for you and create an opportunity for you without you knowing and be like "Oh wow what a coincidence, must be a sign, you should go for it"

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

You guys are pretty routine with your relationship but you both don't mind it. He likes to surprise you here and there but usually you guys are content with the usual.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Zeke is 100% understanding and believes you wouldn't do anything big without reasoning. He understands your way of thinking and that you also always have good intentions. He's not a perfect man and knows that, so he doesn't expect you to be perfect either. If you make a mistake or say something you don't mean, he brushes it off and tells you not to worry about it.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it's worth in comparison to other things in their life?

In all honestly, your relationship comes second and his duties as the beast titan comes first, which you both mutually agree. Doesn't mean you're less important, he just has to take care of his duties first before he can take care of you.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

If you fall asleep before Zeke does, he'll pull up a chair, open the bedroom window and smoke a cigarette while admiring your sleeping figure. He'll pay close attention to details; your random twitches, how short your breaths are, wonders what you're dreaming of, and thinks about what he even did to deserve your love.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

At first Zeke wasn't very affectionate. He didn't get much physical affection growing up so he never went out of his was to give it to you, but he never rejected your affection towards him. Zeke didn't mind and actually likes when you get a little clingy and eventually had a better understanding on how to give you proper affection.

Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?

Zeke kinda pushes you out of his head. He doesn't want it to distract him from his duties. The times that you do pop in his head are when he has a little time to himself during a mission or when he’s done something cold, “Would (y/n) still love me after this.”

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

It depends. He is willing to go through great lengths to make you happy and keep you safe but his biggest fear is being in a situation where he has to pick your well being over his life goal (for example him having to choose saving you vs proceeding with a mission during a war break out) he gets nightmares about it and avoids that situation at all cost.

[heartslobbf]

why ‘the deathsong of uther pendragon’ is the greatest merlin episode to ever merlin

in march of this year, i stumbled across a compilation of funny merlin clips in my youtube recommendations. i clicked on it, amazed that a show i watched ages five through eight, every autumn on bbc with an enthusiasm unmatched by any other show i watched, still had such a booming fandom. it was in early april that i made the decision to give into nostalgia and rewatch the whole thing with my mum, because i missed the silly show with troll weddings and ghost hauntings that made me cry so damn hard on christmas eve nonetheless.

the first thing i did after watching the first episode was hunt down my two favourite episodes. i was pretty happy to discover that the beauty and the beast was in series two, because i remember that two parter was what really made me love merlin as a child. but by the time i’d scanned through series three and four too, i finally found it: the deathsong of uther pendragon, 05x03, my favourite episode and the first thing i think of when someone says ‘merlin’ to me.

i love this episode so damn much. the scene with gwen in the hallway haunted me as a child, it was inexcplicable how i could love it so much. but i did. i loved the ghosts and i loved the mystery, and yeah, it was a really funny episode, but it made me get a little bit emotional at the end.

like, don’t get me wrong. it’s a dumb episode. it seems almost out of place, a sudden and drastic break away from all of the doom and gloom, from arthur’s bane. homoerotic ghost hunting poetry lessons, the knights being the knights, a silly and irrelevant episode that serves as comedic relief in such a dark series. but this episode is important, and heartwarming, and without it i’d feel as though uther’s arc was never completed.

arthur is deeply affected by his father’s death, both because of the circumstances and the fact that he felt close to him. but uther practically disowns arthur during their confrontation at the beginning of the episode, all because of how he’s running the kingdom. uther never approved of gwen, ever. he tried to have her executed for various reasons over the first few series, so it’s not like he even liked her. and there was always the issue of nobility, the whole classism thing that was well addressed in both gwaine and lancelot’s first episodes. uther doesn’t approve of anything arthur has done during his time as king, he brushed aside all of the good, the peace and the prosperity, because he feels as though arthur is going to change things.

uther is scared of change. in fact, uther is scared of almost everything. and his fear is what drives him, a cowardly and tyrannical man, to distrust everything and everyone, from a passive tool like magic to even his own family. i think that uther sees arthur’s openness to equality as a sign, a sign that magic might return. the trouble is that instead of reminding arthur of all the evil magic has done, instead of trying to convince his son of the values he raised him on, uther immediately resorts to violence.

arthur says he loves gwen. he says his knights are some of the best he’s ever had. he refuses to let his father do what he always did in life: get his way. during uther’s reign, he could shape arthur however he wanted to, order him around, force his ideals upon his son and make him force them upon others. but arthur’s friends question him, help him make tough decisions, and encourage him to think for himself, not as his father would.

04x05 is an incredibly important episode because of the scenes between arthur and his friends. that development in his character is what allows him to disagree with his father in 05x03, and uther hates it. he doesn’t want arthur to form his own views on the world as he already has, because with every new choice he makes, he gets closer and closer to fulfilling his destiny as the once and future king who returned magic to albion. uther doesn’t know about that, sure, but he certainly has an inkling his son will sympathise with magic users. and he’s right.

so, as i said before, uther resorts to violence. he’s a man controlled by fear, so of course he tries to use fear to control arthur. and whilst it never ceases to piss me off that uther actually tried to murder the two sweetest people in camelot (uther pendragon leave gwen and percival the fuck alone challenge), it’s nowhere near as important as what happens with merlin and arthur.

the second confrontation between father and son is heartbreaking. amidst all of it, though, this is the most important exchange:

ARTHUR: Then you will have to kill me. I am not you, Father. I can't rule the way you did.

UTHER: Camelot must come before all else. Even you.

uther is willing to kill his own son to preserve his legacy, to maintain this tyrannical and harsh rule. their relationship has completely and utterly broken down. arthur is realising now that his father has just lied to him, again and again and again, about his mother and about the values of a good king and everything else. it’s like in 02x08, when arthur says he no longer thinks of uther as a father, but this time there is no salvation for the sins of the father (i’m a comedic genius). uther has never really cared about arthur for who arthur is, but rather for who he wanted arthur to be.

and in 05x03, arthur is the last character in the entire show to realise this.

the deathsong of uther pendragon is intrinsically important, because without it, arthur will never fully reject his father and actually be open to the idea of bringing back magic. and seeing this, as an end to uther’s arc, to the end of arthur’s daddy issues, is sort of reminiscent of the umbrella academy to me, in the sense that arthur is like ‘shit, my dad isn’t a good person.’ he’s been in denial for a really long time about the extent of uther’s abusive nature, and this is the moment he stops. i love to poke fun of merlin, especially the fifth series, for some dodgy writing and dumb characterisation, but this episode just brings me to tears every time.

it’s the best merlin episode to ever merlin, because it does what the show sets out to do: show us arthur’s progression, with merlin’s help, to becoming the great king he’s supposed to be. and it does so hilariously, masterfully, beautifully, and with fucking ghosts and, of course, merlin and arthur’s several homoerotic subtexts. i love it. i love it so much.

[urkingbby]

TASK 002

↳ Jackson King’s Family Tree

PATERNAL GRANDFATHER: Wallace King ( Richard Gere ) – 68

TWIN BROTHER: Isaac King ( Gregg Sulkin ) – 19

PATERNAL GRANDMOTHER: Esther King ( Debra Winger ) – 66

CAT: Bella – 40 cat years

CAT: Bernard – 28 cat years

MOTHER: Vanessa King ( Heather Graham ) –  43

PATERNAL UNCLE: Paul King ( Paul Rudd ) – 39

FATHER: Richard King ( Josh Stamberg ) – 45

I’m gonna keep some of these pretty brief for my own sanity. I’ll probs expand on them at some point and go into more detail when I have time

PATERNAL GRANDFATHER: Wallace King ( Richard Gere ) – 68

Shortly before high school started, Jackson and Isaac moved in with their grandparents. Wallace had always been more of a dad to them than their actual father. Having always been a city boy, Jackson appreciated the move away from his parents. Wallace was from a long line of farmers, and living on a farm was basically exactly what Jackson needed to properly de-stress away from his parents. While Jackson isn’t that close with his grandfather, he looks up to him a lot. Wallace has always been a handy-man, and can practically fix or do anything around the house that needs to be done, and being good with his hands himself, Jackson has always thought that he had gotten that from his grandfather.

TWIN BROTHER: Isaac King ( Gregg Sulkin ) – 19

Their parents were the type of parents who offered big rewards and encouragement when the twins were behaving as they were asked but took equally significant punishment and treatment when they were not. Because of this, Isaac is the only person that Jackson ever truly had and as a result, he is afraid of his own ability to resent and feel jealous of his brother. He tries to push it down pretty much whenever it arises. Aside from that Isaac is the most important person in Isaac’s life. They are literally soulmates, they’re best friends, they’re silly, annoying and obnoxious together. Everyone around Luxor likely knows them for being melodramatic goofballs who are attached at the hip.

PATERNAL GRANDMOTHER: Esther King ( Debra Winger ) – 66

Jackson has always craved a mother figure. Because Jackson’s mother is garbage, moving in with his loving grandmother was the pinnacle of his life. Jackson has always been somewhat reserved when it comes to his real-life issues, even with the people he is closest with. Esther doesn’t entirely know what Jackson had gone through in his life, but she was aware of how the twins’ parents treated them and was a major part of the reason they even moved in. Growing up, the twins were never allowed to do regular childhood things (i.e., going to amusement parks) and only because of their grandmother would show up, unannounced at times when the twins were off work, did they ever get to experience those things.

CAT: Bella – 40 cat years

Jackson has always been a gigantic cat person. His parents never allowed him to have pets, so the second he moved in with his grandparents, you bet ur ass he asked for a cat and named her Bella and he would spend every waking minute of the day with her if he could. 

CAT: Bernard – 28 cat years

Bernard is Isaac’s cat but Jackson is like the cat whisperer and regardless of how Isaac tries, Bernard has always seemed to be more of Jackson’s cat than Isaac’s. 

MOTHER: Vanessa King ( Heather Graham ) –  43

As a child, Jackson was a H U G E momma’s boy. Family and friends would joke about how Jackson was Vanessa’s kid but not his father’s (or anyone else’s to be clear lmao). Pretty well, every waking minute of the day, Jackson would cling to his mother, asking her questions, having her play games with him, he wanted to be one with is mother LMAO. Once the ordeal with Disney took place and Jackson was removed from the contract to be on Isaac’s show, he became more or less dead to his mother, as she pretty much only praised the twins when they were doing as she wished. This obviously gutted Jackson. He never really unraveled that or learned how to cope with it, and Vanessa is ultimately the reason Jackson has such dependency issues and actively seeks the affection/approval of the women he surrounds himself with.

PATERNAL UNCLE: Paul King ( Paul Rudd ) – 39

TBA

FATHER: Richard King ( Josh Stamberg ) – 45

TBA

[rosaguard]

summer waxes poetically about her favorite aeris gainsborough ships:

i never reblogged that five ships meme because...well i don’t have five aeris ships i care about lol. however, i was challenged(tm) so here is something close to it. i do feel like it is fitting to make this post on here since aeris was actually the first muse i truly started writing a ship on after asking someone first ( and i had been writing on tumblr for like...5 years on and off before that for context. anything before that was just..maybe flirting - nothing i felt invested in ).

aeris & happiness.

   the most important ship. the OTP. no other can compare. i think the biggest tragedy of aeris’ death is that so much was taken from her. she had so much to live for, so much to do, and her life was brutally and suddenly ripped away when she was finally getting the chance to figure herself out and rise to her full potential. i don’t want to aeris to die in the remake ( especially because everything about the whispers would’ve felt like a waste of time if nothing significant changes and aeris living is probably as significant as you can get ) but if it happens, it happens - i’ll just be really sad and disappointed by it lol. i’ve always been very clear that aeris’ death is not a bad one despite my blog canon essentially retconning it. there’s a reason she dies and it’s not to further cloud’s man pain ( he had enough of his own trauma already ); she dies because she’s a legitimate threat to sephiroth’s plans. she’s actually an example of a character death, especially a female one, done incredibly well, especially compared to SE’s recent output ( serah, luna, etc. ). also anyone who says she was created just to die is also wrong. barret was originally written to die first and they decided to change it.

    anyway, the point of me bringing all of this up is that i didn’t decide to do away with her death because i think SE sucks and they hate women. i did away with it because a lot of aeris’ character development ( her learning about the cetra at cosmo canyon, figuring out what the white materia does, etc ) is implied / off-screen since we never know her point of view and then well...she dies. i wanted to explore what her feelings would be if she woke up alive after being attacked while meteor is slowly drawing closer to the planet. how would she handle that? how would she feel? would she feel like a failure? would she be angry? what would she do after meteor is destroyed? would she travel the world? join the w.r.o? tell everyone to fuck off and then move to a cottage in the middle of nowhere and live the rest of her life in peace? these are the questions i wanted answered when i thought about aeris living. i don’t care if she ends up with cloud, or zack, or whoever because they don’t matter: aeris matters. she’s her own person with goals, desires, wishes, and more. no one talks about what she would want and do if she had lived. all people care about is what ‘man’ she belongs to as if she’s a prize to be exchanged between them.

   the second reason is simple that she fucking deserves it. she deserves it after living in a lab for 7 years and watching her mother die just trying to get her out. she deserves after having to deal with being stalked by the same company responsible for a lot of her suffering. she deserves to finally be around friends that make her feel loved, accepted, and cared for. she deserves to not feel alone, or like an outcast, or a freak because of her powers. she deserves to be able to go to icicle inn too and see footage of her father for the first time. she deserves to be able to go back to kalm and see her mom again. she deserves to live happily just like everyone else gets to do. her life has been filled with so much tragedy and pain yet she never lets it define her. she blooms in the face of adversity. she keeps smiling even up until the end of her life. she deserves happiness as her end-game and if i don’t get it in canon, i’m going to create it here myself.

aeris & cloud.

    i disliked this ship for a long time. it actually wasn’t because of the ship itself but due to some of my experiences with the shippers. i won’t go into my fandom experiences but i ran an account dedicated to ti.fa for almost six years so i’ve seen how...unpretty both sides of the 'ship war’ can get and it turned me off. a lot. when i decided to write aeris, i immediately started a replay of the the original game with an ‘aeris-lens’ ( analyzing her character, her relationships, making sure i got her date, etc. ). it made me look at her relationship with cloud in a different light since i had never really paid attention to it as heavily before since i avoided the ship tbh. i ended up enjoying their dynamic a lot. they have a natural chemistry with each other but there’s also this unspoken distance between them which is fully intentional - she has her own walls up and he has his. 

    they have a very ‘tragic love’ since well...she dies before anything can fully go to the next level. their relationship in canon is a very ‘what if’ and as a result, i often see people who don’t like the ship claim that they wouldn’t work because aeris wouldn’t be able to ‘deal’ with cloud and would’ve left. to be blunt, this a bad take considering supporting one another is prevalent throughout their relationship: 

aeris: i learned a lot. the elders taught me many things. about the cetra... and the promised land... i'm...... alone... i'm all alone now... cloud: but i'm...... we're here for you, right? aeris: i know. i know, but... i am the only...... cetra. cloud: does that mean we can't help?

cloud: ...i gave the black materia to sephiroth...? wha... what did I do... tell me, aeris. aeris: cloud... be strong, ok? He writhes and clutches his head. cloud urrrrrrgh... what have I done!? aeris: cloud... you haven't done anything. it's not your fault.

cloud: yeah, I hear you. sorry for what happened. aeris: don't worry about it. cloud: ...i can't help it... aeris: oh... then, why don't you REALLY worry about it? and let me handle sephiroth. and cloud, you take care of yourself. so you don't have a breakdown, okay?

    the remake only reinforces everything i like about their relationship: their banter is great, aeris gently takes his hand during one of his ‘moments’ and supports him, she confides in him about talking to her flowers, and he never treats her differently ( which is a big deal when just two nights before, he told someone to ‘get help’ when they claimed they could hear the planet lol ). they have so much in common as well: they both have struggled with loneliness, being an outcast, and not having a lot of friends. i’ll always find it incredibly interesting how cloud is repeatedly not invited to be apart of group functions in the remake ( he wasn’t allowed to celebrate with avalanche and had to sit outside jessie’s house as the others ate pizza ) until he met aeris and she invited him to have dinner with her and her mom. despite the ‘bodyguard’ dynamic to their relationship, they always feel like equals to me.

aeris: today’s special!!! cloud: why? aeris: because i met you, you dumb binch!!!

aeris: *says cryptic stuff and tells him that they can’t fall in love* ( i’m saying they because apparently in japanese / other languages she says ‘we can’t fall in love’, not just ‘you can’t fall in love with me’. ) cloud: uh....how about i do anyway??? also i’m saving you so...see you tomorrow at 11. bye.

me: their relationship never gets to a serious level because the opportunity was taken away from them de to unfortunate circumstances. 

also me: they’re just just...dumb and in love!!!! i’m sorry, that’s just the way it is!!!! she literally tells him that meeting him again was special to her and the silly boi doesn’t get it!!!! one of the composers of the game even said a tracks that plays with them is meant to have a romantic vibe!! when she pulls away from him, he reaches out for her because he doesn’t want her to let go!! the lyrics of hollow is literally ‘this time i’ll never LET YOU GO’ AAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

    anyway, i’ve also noticed this weird trend in the fandom where it feels like cloud is never allowed to just has his own dedicated feelings about aeris - and i’m not even talking about romantic feelings. i feel like whenever there is talk about cloud’s relationship with za.ck or ti.fa, no one inserts aeris into it. they’re allowed to have their individual relationships with him yet with aeris it feels like you cannot talk about how much she meant to him and vice versa without other characters being thrown in. i don’t know if it’s because of shipping and people don’t want to acknowledge that like...characters can have feelings for multiple people or what but the reality is that cloud did feel something for her. she did mean a lot to him; so much so that he slept in her church two years after she was dead and went to her burial place alone. he missed her.  maybe it was just as a friend, maybe it was because of something more but i really dislike how their relationship and importance to each other, regardless of whether it’s platonic or romantic, is constantly invalidated.

aeris & gene.

     when kas / @castershot first created channels for gene and aeris in our rp server last year, i honestly did not think these two would have a serious relationship at all. i figured maybe they would have a fling or something at best / aeris would be the equivalent of a filler character in a few episodes of the show and then they would go their separate ways. ...that didn’t happen but i’m glad it didn’t! i didn’t know a gosh diddly darn thing about outlaw star but i’m very good at researching and aggressively reading wikis so i was able to whip up a verse ( and someone who watched the show thought i had actually watched it after reading my verse so i guess i did a darn good job! ). anyway, i feel like when writing aeris it’s very easy to...hmm...fall into very certain dynamics and considering gene’s line of work ( doing odd jobs, being a bodyguard for hire, a general jack of all trades ), i didn’t want it to be the ‘he’s a bodyguard, she gets protected, blah blah blah’ dynamic but in space. so their relationship ( at least in my head - there’s a lot going on in there tbh!!! ) basically became somewhat of a deconstruction of cl.erith + ( bad ) stereotypes about aeris in general:

      what if the helpless flower girl that needs saving from the big bad corporation is actually a liar who works for said corporation and was sent by them to retrieve something important(tm) and eliminate anyone that gets in her way? what if aeris, a secret member of the turks, has become so desensitized when interacting with other people since she is constantly wearing a mask and she can’t tell if she’s genuinely falling for someone or if her acting is just so good that even she can’t tell what’s real or fake anymore? what if i took all those bad takes about aeris knowing she would die, flip it, and actually make it so that she does know and still goes alone anyway because she wants to save lives for once instead of being the person who takes them away!!

me: imagine the drama!!! the angst!!! kas, casually: [redacted name b/c of spoilers] would just bring her back to life. me: WHAT?! >:(

apparently one character in the show is casually just GOD and can revive people so they can come back like:

    my bubble was BURST. dreams DASHED. plans CRUSHED. dramatics aside, i still kept the idea of her dying because i do like the take of a more secretly jaded / not as ‘pure’ aeris that works for shinra and has to basically relearn how to trust / care about others again + i live to attack kas and all of her muses. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.  anyway, the point is that i love them and they’re a dynamic i’m very invested in the more times passes. they’re both so stupid and passionate and loud ( the first in character thing i wrote when i remade this blog was them screaming at each other in an argument ) but they’re also sensitive, don’t open up to others easily, and have trauma!! oof x 100.

me: this ship won’t be serious lol the ship, months later: may or may not have a thread with them going on a date. may or may not have gone to ti.fa and cloud’s wedding together ( where kissafist’s tif.a may or may not threaten to smash his balls in if he doesn’t treat aeris right. *smash em, rip em plays in the distance as aeris aggressively laughs nervously* ), they may or may not get married and have twins that may or may not be named ren and rose. me: clown putting on make up.png

so yea, they’ve come a long way(tm).

the end.