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syneilesis · 2 years ago

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[fic+art] From Her Mouth of Strawberry

From Her Mouth of Strawberry

Ikemen Vampire | Vlad x Main Character/Reader | M | 2.7k words

ao3 link

So this is what everlasting love feels like.

An epilogue of Vlad’s Romantic Ending route. With art.

A/N: OH MY GOD I MADE IT. SOMEWHAT. HAPPY NEW YEAR. I post this as Lady Gaga plays in my neighbor's house. I wanted to finish and post this before I get Jossed in a couple of hours. Vlad's sequel is coming! So early, wow! Forgive the quality of writing in this one; I wrote parts of it with a clear mind, I wrote most of it dizzy and sleepy and trying to concentrate while my neighbors sing merrily in their karaoke (70s-80s songs is 👌, I approve). Title and the quoted verses are from Charles Baudelaire's Les Métamorphoses du vampire. Very apt, very apt.

I also have art for it! Which I'll include in a reblog, so as not to disrupt the flow of reading.

Tagging and shoutout to @akintosalt and @evil-quartett, who have witnessed my descent to madness finishing this fic and whom I have greeted as 2023 sauntered here with pomp and swag. This is for you guys! 💖

On the first morning of eternity Vlad is next to your side on the bed, elbow folded against the mattress, his upper body and head lifted to watch you slowly part your eyelids. The sun shimmers through the tall windows of his room, casting a long thick line across the carpeted floor, like golden lava that would sink you if you dip your feet in. The diffuse glow of the natural light hits Vlad’s skin and hair, his eyes shining like revelation.

“Good morning,” he whispers.

Something in your heart blooms, warm and soft under his radiance. There’s a little ache in there, too, a light squeeze that’s almost exquisite in its significance.

His other hand leaves its place and migrates to your face, knuckles ghosting along the corner of your eye down to your cheek then to the corner of your lips, and you tilt slightly to place a kiss there. Vlad smiles, and he leans down to press his own lips to yours. He opens his mouth and you taste strawberries.

When you separate, you smile back at him and say, “Good morning, Vlad.”

Outside, birds twitter among the freshly blossomed garden flowers, and Paris wakes languidly into the arrival of spring.

The days following your transformation march on like a steady drumbeat, rhythm never ruined. It’s as if nothing momentous happened; the world feels the same, still is the same, but Vlad knows that everything has changed. It’s in the way he views the world now. Before, it treads on the path leading to destruction; but next to you, the world seems to radiate renewal. The lens with which he sees things shifted, allowing diffraction, the direction of his ambition spreading into a dream, encompassing every scope, every shape, every color.

Before, Vlad was a god carrying the fate of the world on his lonely shoulders. Now, he has descended from the heavens to walk among humans.

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine. A bit weird—I can feel the sharpness of my incisors against my tongue—but not bad weird.”

“Ah. If you encounter any problems, don’t hesitate to tell me.”

“Of course.” A pause. “Hey, Vlad?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad—I’m glad that we found each other this time.”

An exhale of a laugh. “I’m glad, too. Didn’t we promise each other? I’ll find you wherever you are, whatever it takes.”

Years—decades, centuries—flickered by like a rapid flipping of pages. Empires rise and fall, and Vlad observed the milestones of mankind with the benevolent glint of a ruler surveying his kingdom. He’d been to plenty of places, all in search of the girl who saved him. He’d looked for her under the rust-colored roofs of Firenze, amidst the resplendent natural beauty of Zhongguo, against the tropical heat of Las islas Felipinas, and dozens more—the beat of the heart seeking for an echo, the one with the warmth of embrace and the mellisonant voice that dripped with pure light.

He recalled: they never did finish that conversation, did they. The one where she was about to part something. Sometimes, as he lay down on his bed, before he drifted off to sleep, Vlad wondered what she’d say. It must’ve been important, because her face was pulled taut, almost crumpled into tears, like she couldn’t wait for the words to cascade out of her mouth. That was probably his only regret. When he returned to the mansion, drenched in snow and blood, she was already gone, a wraith whisked off by the biting wind.

Would he find out what she’s supposed to say? Would he ever in his lifetime?

The question of thirst emerges right after. You know, based on your experiences with the residents in the mansion, that vampires can curb their bloodlust by drinking Blanc. Perfectly safe, perfectly moral. Food is an indulgence they all partake in, as evidenced by Vlad’s childlike preference for strawberries.

Charles offers to supply you Blanc, but you decline, insisting that you can provide on your own. It’s one thing to live forever; it’s another to be self-sufficient about it. Even if your life has upended and evolved, the same principles apply when trying not to be burdensome about it.

But it’s strange and baffling, this constant thirst. The others appear to be unsaddled by this dryness in the throat—or at least unbothered by it. This intensifies whenever Vlad is around, the itch clawing inside until it climbs to the roof of your mouth, and it all feels like sand, coarse and insidious, with parched tongue.

Of course, one look from Vlad and he understands.

“Drink from me,” he says later that night, when you’re seated side by side and only the moonlight reveals the expressions you have for each other. He takes your hand and nuzzles the inside of your wrist, eyes closed as if savoring the sensation of warmth. In bliss, reverential; his warm puffs of breath against your pulse sending heat all over your body.

He slants another gaze at you, this time beckoning, and you’re entranced by the hooded slits of red—passion, passion, burning passion in his blood-red eyes.

A tongue darts out. Licks the skin where your pulse is leaping against the wet, hot pressure. Vlad shuts his eyes and moans, ragged and so full of want that a shaky sigh escapes from you.

“Drink from me,” he murmurs again, the words pressed into your palm, and you can feel his lips shape the words against your skin. It tickles you, and you try to jerk your hand away but his grip on you is tight, intent on never letting go. “Love is tied to bloodlust,” he continues. “You desire my blood because you love me. I desire your blood because I love you. So drink from me, and I will drink from you.”

He unbuttons his shirt and exposes a shoulder. A portion of his scar peeks around the fabric. Softly, tenderly, he guides your head to his neck, and your lips meet his skin, clean but with a trace of sweetness, petals. The hand on your wrist remains, rubbing your pulse with his thumb.

“Go on,” he says, voice thick and encouraging. Even in love and lust Vlad is always the one who gives first.

“But,” you answer, your words muffled and hot; Vlad tilts his head back to provide more access. “Won’t this hurt you?”

“At first, yes. But I promise it will feel good for me and for you. Go on, take what you need.”

The sensation of fangs piercing flesh feels weird, but when Vlad’s blood bursts through and you finally get a taste of it, it’s a whole new thing altogether. Vlad gasps, a full-body shudder tremoring through him, his free hand grabbing your hips and tugging closer. You follow until you’re both pressed together, with nary a space in between. He reclines on the bed until you’re on top of him, still sucking at his neck for blood, the only sound in the room apart from his harsh breathing.

When your tongue swipes at the wounds Vlad groans, bringing both his hands on your hips and grinding. You both gasp at the hot pleasure.

“When she had drained the marrow out of all my bones, / When I turned listlessly amid my languid moans, / To give a kiss of love—” Vlad recites, almost like a mantra, almost like a prayer, his voice catching and clicking in the throes of ecstasy.

Vlad finds your eyes, hazy but lucid enough to ask, “Have you drunk enough?” A thumb caresses your lips and it glides easily because of the blood. Vlad inspects his thumb between you, fascinated before he brings it to his own lips, tastes his own blood. The sight of it makes you swallow, and the ache within you just grows and grows until it erupts and the words spill out of your lips like molten desire.

“No, I don’t think it will ever be enough, but that’s all right. What I want now—what I want—” You close your eyes and exhale a shuttered breath. When you look at Vlad again—his splayed hair like silver halo, his half-mast eyes drunk in pleasure, his parted lips stained with his own blood—all you see is a godling who deserves to be loved and worshiped like this. “What I want is to give you everything, so it’s your turn to drink from me.”

And like a giant wave he surges to crash against your lips, devouring your entire being. You welcome it, welcome him, your own hands unbuttoning the rest of his shirt then sliding inside to feel his skin, the hard planes of his muscles, the scar over his heart.

In this night of whispered sighs and ghostly touches, your heartbeats are in sync, and Vlad’s eyes glisten with pure want. Nothing else matters except the desire of flesh, your blood beating in want of him, and time dilutes and the world vanishes until only you and he remain.

The funny thing about memory was: accuracy wasn’t the point.

The expectant stare of the painter tilted sideways as Vlad stuttered into a halt, dreadful realization that he could no longer remember the face of his beloved savior. Sure he remembered the shade of her hair, waterfall brown that curled playfully midway. He remembered her pristine shirt, the color of snow before spilt blood—the color of her skirt. He remembered the shade of her skin illuminated by candlelight. But when it came to the most important thing of all: featureless light, uncrisp and blotchy.

It was funny because the way he felt about her was a solid, crisp thing, as palpable as the objects he could touch. The ember-warm ink-bloom that suffused his blood when she held him was indelible in his heart and memories; he could still remember the staccato rhythm of her heartbeat against his ear. Seedling-hope and ironclad belief tied together in her name. He’d find her, one day, even after the world ended, because he believed.

He remembered the sound of her breath before she opened the wardrobe that hid him from the world.

He remembered the buried sorrow between her words, threatening to claw out.

He remembered her hands, soft and delicate and yearning, and he ached to love.

He remembered her sweet scent—

He remembered her—

He remembered—

It’s been weeks since you’ve been cooped up in Vlad’s castle, adjusting to your new, eternal body and its needs, and now it seems to be the right time to venture out again.

So you visit the mansion.

The astonished faces of the residents when they see you are a sight to behold, and they pile on you like you’re their long-lost youngest sibling suddenly returned home.

Le Comte has to threaten Arthur and Dazai a spanking to pry them away from you. Sebastian declares a dinner party is in order, and it feels like the old days again, before Vlad came into your life and held your heart with snow-coated fingers.

Sebastian refuses your help to wash the dishes when you offered, arguing that the dinner was held in your honor and it’s silly to have you clean up after. Which is why you find yourself in front of the door that started everything.

Eventually Napoleon joins you in reminiscence.

“Do you regret it?” he asks, eyes not leaving the door.

But you turn to him, smiling when he meets your gaze, and say, “There’s no regret when it’s the destiny we chose, you know?”

Napoleon returns your smile, relief gracing his features. He ruffles your hair, the consummate big brother looking out for his siblings. “I’m glad.” He pauses, then adds: “Are you happy?”

That question bears no hesitation. “Yes,” you answer. “I’m very happy.”

Eternity is desire and ache and sorrow and loneliness—

He sinks his fangs into her flesh.

—and now it, too, is happiness.

One day, out of the blue, Vlad declares, “Let’s see the world.”

After consoling Charles and procuring assurances from Faust that he refrain from any funny stuff that Vlad elaborates:

“All the travels I’ve done in the past were always about searching for you. Now that we have found each other, I want to travel again—with you this time.”

And what can you say other than yes?

Decades pass in a snap of fingers, and Vlad’s enjoyed every second of it.

The world has become more precious: empires rose and fell, peace sustains its lilting melody, Vlad’s dream burns steady as life. Seeing the world tastes rich this time, a surprising burst of flavorful experiences—the sweetness of your smile against the backdrop of canola flowers in Jeju Island, the spicy car chase along Berliner Ring after getting accidentally involved in a casino heist, the tangy sunset after hours of café hopping in Vienna, the honeyed secrets exchanged under the bougainvillea-covered balconies in Cartagena.

Next to you the world teems with hope and faith, and Vlad tastes, this time, a robust future.

“Here.” You hand him a cone of ice cream that you bought from a street vendor across the pathway. The one you gave him has the color of flushed pink—strawberry—and yours is bright yellow—cheese. “Tell me what you think.”

There’s a bench a little far off to where you’re going. Vlad studies the ice cream carefully as he sits down, then he takes a lick. It’s light and sweet, a welcome chill on the tongue. The May heat melts it faster, and the ice cream drips down the cone, makes a small puddle in the fold of his index finger.

“This is delicious,” he says, and squints at your own cone. Cheese as an ice cream flavor is odd to him, but you seem to enjoy it. He swaps his hold of the ice cream and offers it to you with his right hand, his left raised to his lips, tongue darting out to lick away the melted cream. “Do you want to try mine?”

“Sure.” You lean towards his proffered hand and try the strawberry. In this close proximity, Vlad can smell your dulcified scent. A pleased hum escapes your throat. “This is good too!”

A first experience for Vlad: eating ice cream together with you as people relish their summer vacation, skipping with buoyant, dancer-steps, their laughter tickling his ears. Teenage girls steal glances in his direction, furtive giggling tucked behind coy hands. Vlad, indulgent, smiles at them, they laugh openly. You look on with amused affection in your eyes, ice cream gone, consumed.

“The last time I went here,” Vlad says, struck with a memory, “ice cream wasn’t introduced yet.”

“Oh? That’s a long time, then.”

“Almost three centuries since I’ve visited. Some buildings I recognize, but plenty have changed.”

It’s been a long time, indeed, but for Vlad, the passage of time runs differently from that of human perception. A blink, a sleep, a long pensive silence. Memories blur, betwixt one point and another. Just like his memories of your face, a gradual erosion attributed to absence and distance; but now, in this moment, Vlad knows that he will no longer forget.

A kilometer from where they sit, the sea murmurs, tranquil, and the people near it attempt to dip their toes into the water before it gets agitated. A month from now, typhoons will come, and the sea will rise and strike and beat the land with its ferocious waves. Vlad finishes his ice cream, the sweetness of strawberry and sugar cone lingering on his tongue.

“There’s a place here that I wanted to go to, but couldn’t the last time I came,” he says.

A beautiful smile blossoms on your lips. “Then let’s go there this time.”

He returns the smile with his own. “Yes, let’s.”

Another first experience: the heels of his shoes clacking against the stone pavement as children run and play tag, circling you and Vlad once, their chatter trailing in the air. His hand finds yours and entwines its fingers with your own, warm and comforting and real. It will continue in the years, decades, centuries—this solid and crisp warmth, this ink-bloom in his veins, your clear, unveiled face.

His dream of peace, of the world eternal, warless and free of destruction, held safe in your hands, beating on.

So this is what everlasting love feels like.

#fic #my fic #Ikemen Vampire #Vlad x Main Character #Vlad x Reader #ikemen vampire vlad #ikemen vampire vlad x mc #ikemen vampire vlad x reader #ikevamp vlad #ikevamp fic #the ice cream they're eating is sorbetes #sorbetes supremacy #cheese sorbetes supremacy

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cr4yolaas · 6 months ago

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hii! sorry if this is a weird ask but can you give me tips for writing?

not weird at all anon :)

going for a feeling rather than a description

in a lot of my works, i tend to avoid flat-out describing scenarios (i.e. she opened the door and walked inside the house, then placed her shoes on the floor) because it personally feels very emotionless to me. i try my best to focus on what the character is feeling in that moment, whether it’s sensory or emotionally (this could even include the feeling of sweat collecting on their palms as opposed to saying they’re anxious), and you might notice that i use “flowery” words to make this happen.

using figurative language

adding onto the “flowery” words topic, i also love to incorporate fig. lang. to expand on ideas and items. this is less to make something clearer (in the way you would use similes) but rather to make the writing more appealing or to make connections to concepts within my writing. stuff like “ribbons of sunlight” or “dripping down the walls” (to describe an atmospheric feeling) is stuff i tend to utilize more often, but figurative language is really a broad scope that can be expanded on infinitely.

synonyms

there is no shame in having to search up “[word] synonyms,” and i actually do it quite often. it helps a lot with making your writing sound less repetitive. however, i would be careful when doing this, as certain synonyms can appear off-putting with the rest of your writing. however, it’s also just super important to broaden your vocabulary through this method or even through media to minimize how often you rely on synonyms.

consuming content

adding onto the last one, reading is genuinely the best way to get better at writing imo. i don’t read as often now, but i used to read so often as a child and a lot of the ideas and vocabulary stuck to me. i generally watch a lot of kdramas and cdramas nowadays (wifty my beloved), and sometimes seeing how their tropes play out — whether romantic, platonic, or even between enemies — is super helpful for envisioning how i want characters in my fic to interact. my writing is mostly inspired by the music i listen to, however, and i sometimes like to pull inspo from lyrics (miracle musical or whatever it is by tally hall was my favorite when a few years ago) or use songs to drive a certain feeling that i want to show in my work. it’s pretty difficult to have a distinct writing style of your own without inspiration.

writing when you’re in the mood

never force yourself to write. i’m a victim of this and it’s produced a lot of my poor content. you should write when you feel inspired to do so (hence the importance of the last point), otherwise you may not come up with ideas or topics that feel right to you if that makes sense. on a side note however, don’t scrap the writing that you create midway through these bouts of demotivation — sometimes you might write a handful of paragraphs and realize you don’t really like it because it wasn’t what you wanted it to be, but it’s always good to save it for later, because it could work out well in another spot.

i hope this helped (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) if you have any specific questions about certain works, feel free to ask !! i’d love to answer :)

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thebibliosphere · 3 years ago

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So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After.

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting.

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom.

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man.

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms...

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful.

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual.

#long post #writing #ethical non-monogamy #relationship styles #relationship models in fiction #also that kindle link is an affiliate link #because fuck giving amazon free recs

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randomvarious · 2 years ago

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Today’s mix:

MTV Party to Go, Volume 8 by Chris Walsh 1995 Hip Hop / G-Funk / R&B

Before Tommy Boy Records went on to define a piece of the 90s by way of a partnership with ESPN to deliver us the stadium dance anthems of Jock Jams, they initially launched into a partnership with MTV in the early 90s to give us a different series called Party to Go. The conceit of it was that each CD or cassette had a ready-made mix that you could just pop in to your player to instantly get a party going. And this is its eighth installment, a DJ mix by an in-house guy at Tommy Boy named Chris Walsh who's also responsible for other mixes in the series.

I reviewed Volume 1 of this series a few months ago and that mix happened to represent what was then a totally confused hodgepodge of what a lot of mainstream American dance music was like back in 1991: hip-house, new jack swing, synthpop, party rap, dance-pop, and some R&B. This volume, though, from late 1995, appears to cast its scope much more narrowly. Besides its incredibly inexplicable inclusion of one of Sheryl Crow's weakest ever singles in the middle (I mean, seriously, what in the fuck?!) and an even more Italian remix of the classic Italo-dance banger, "Rhythm of the Night" by Corona, this album is more or less just a mid-90s top-40 hip hop-oriented mix.

But even though I said that the scope that was cast for this was narrow, it was also, in a way, kind of broad as well, because there's actually hip hop tunes here for different kinds of party atmospheres. Like, I'd say the universal party rap tunes on this mix are undoubtedly Skee-Lo's "I Wish" and Naughty by Nature's "Feel Me Flow." Things like sunshine, cookouts, and swimming pools just immediately come to mind when either of those two songs come on. But then there's songs on here that go with a much chiller type of vibe. Like, you could easily slow-grind on someone with The Notorious B.I.G.'s "Big Poppa," the Puff Daddy mix of Method Man and Mary J. Blige's "I'll Be There for You / You're All I Need to Get By," and the Sting International remix of Shaggy's "Boombastic." Bone Thugs' "1st of tha Month" fits this theme too, even though it's not lyrically sexy or romantic like those other three.

And then there's Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise," the biggest song in the world in 1995 that won so many accolades and also plaudits from critics across the board despite the, uh, lackluster quality of its rapping. It's still a great song that I also happen to love too, but it was funny to see Weird Al take it down a few pegs with "Amish Paradise" and then see Coolio get all huffy about it like some kind of proto-Kanye by saying his beautiful masterpiece had been 'desecrated.' It's a great, classic song, dude, but come on now. For what it's worth, though, Coolio eventually saw the light and cooled off, and his relationship with Weird Al appears to have been cordial for years now.

Anyway, that's more of a party song simply because everyone in the world knows it. It's a big production, but it doesn't really have much of a party vibe to it. It was intended to be a serious song, despite how corny it sounds today. Fool.

Two more things before I sign off here. There's an awesome R&B song on this mix by a female group called Brownstone that appears to have been relatively lost in the sands of time. It went to #8 on the Billboard Hot 100 and was even nominated for a Grammy, but I feel like "If You Love Me" is a pretty big forgotten hit. Other thing is that the back cover of this release comes with a note that says, in kind of big lettering, "*includes exclusive mixes not available on any album." And that actually turns out to be a bit of a reach. What it really sounds like is that Chris Walsh couldn't figure out a way to mix this crop of songs together all that well, so he or someone else just simply constructed little passages of their own to make the transitions as seamless as possible. And those passages are sort of just, like, these little, feeble bridges that were hastily made in order to link each track together. And I definitely wouldn't then advertise this mix as having "exclusive mixes" because of those small, unique sections; I mean, that actually feels like a pretty big sleight of hand to me. But the change from that Brownstone song to the Method Man and Mary J. Blige one is actually *really* smooth.

Anyway, despite its faults, this is still a fun trip down memory lane. Can't really complain about a CD that has Biggie, Naughty by Nature, Skee-Lo, Method Man, Mary J., Coolio, Shaggy, and Bone Thugs on it. It's just not really the type of tunes I think of when I hear the words "party to go." However, if my music diet was restricted to just MTV videos that had been in rotation by 1995, then this might actually be what I'd expect the party to sound like too, since you couldn't really find much in the way of actual dance music on MTV back then, or really ever 🤷‍♂️.

This is a pretty good CD to reach for if you just wanna party with some mid-90s hip hop classics though. I mean, it's a bad DJ mix for sure, but the songs are good, and plenty of people love to get down to 90s hip hop tunes. So, this should do the trick, as long as you immediately hit next when that Sheryl Crow song comes on! 😅

Listen to the full mix here.

Highlights:

The Notorious B.I.G. - "Big Poppa" Naughty by Nature - "Feel Me Flow" Brownstone - "If You Love Me" Method Man and Mary J. Blige - "I'll Be There for You / You're All I Need to Get By (Puff Daddy mix)" Skee-Lo - "I Wish" Corona - "Rhythm of the Night (R.B.X. Euro mix)" Bone Thugs-N-Harmony - "1st of tha Month" Coolio feat. L.V. - "Gangsta's Paradise" Shaggy - "Boombastic (Sting remix)"

#hip hop #r&b #r and b #rap #r & b #old school hip hop #old school rap #golden age hip hop #golden age rap #g-funk #g funk #music #90s #90s music #90's #90's music

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caesarflickermans · 3 years ago

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what was your inspiration for Virgilia Snow??

I drafted this in a document without realising how long this got (despite thinking I only verged on the broad elements, huh) and therefore this is an under the cut type of ask.

I've always had this idea of a Mrs. Snow who would sleep with others and in the beginning stages of me developing her, I imagined her having her best life ™ sleeping with anyone who wasn't her husband. Chosen people, of course, but still a quiet dissatisfaction with the marriage she is in. That idea was lingering there for quite some years, actually.

But in spring 2020 some pretty bad things happened to me personally within my family, accumulation of long ongoing conflicts (emotional abuse) that kind of resurfaced the idea of her. The thing with abuse is that quite so often it's this sexual or violent abuse, but so rarely is it ever something subtle. Abuse is perceived as flinching at loud sounds or not liking knives around. But there's such a lack of representation in media and recognition in broad society about other forms of abuse; those that leave you questioning yourself, those that make you feel tiny. For example, in the recent chapter I included some notions of intercourse, and it's the same thing that I feel is sometimes lacking in abuse stories (luckily it didn't happen to me), but Virgilia in a way feeling fine with that happening because it's her duty, and Snow not really out there to physically hurt her is something that I don't see a lot in the media or represented in that way. Of course, it is still non-consensual sex, but it's not something she realises is wrong in this specific situation. The mansion is a sort of bubble, here, that keeps hold of her and at the same time keeps realisations about the bad nature of this relationship away. It's a curse and a "blessing" at the same time; a blessing insofar that the realisation will only come once removed from this place.

And then, I decidedly wanted her to be a romantic, to have read romance books, to be soft, and to be interested in romance still. That she is not incapable of love ever again. That a bad upbringing teaching one all the wrong things about love and the discrepancy of the imagined and glorified romantic interests in novels she read and her husband can co-exist but do not doom her. Obviously, this story is fairly romantic and obviously her interactions with Plutarch are the starting event of changing and realising. I realise that can be a point of critique here. Yet, this story is only small in scope, and I don't want to bring about too many original characters that distract from the actual plot to lessen this potential criticism (chapter 4, for example, had me reworking it a lot because I had originally wanted more context with some of the women there). I also know that this is a fanfiction and people don't necessarily stop by for original characters, so I try to keep those chapters where there's little of Plutarch at a minimum. Still, the presence of Grace is meant to represent female kinship that obviously occurs much more frequently and with more people in Virgilia's life who do not receive that much of a mention.

In addition, I didn't want a story of her having been abused and deciding she will become this fierce woman not needing love or become a fierce lesbian finding love away from men. Both because those stories are told a lot (in fandom) and because I like the idea of ending one's past and finding joy and happiness somewhat despite and regardless of what happened. To me, there's strength in her (subconsciously) deciding that those terrible experiences don't define her ideals in what she wants. That Virgilia doesn't have to change who she is or what she believed in because of what happened to her; that the romantic interest from her novels still exists (albeit she will learn that perfect love interests don't exist). [And this is not a declaration for the heterosexual or something; I am a bisexual woman dating another woman right now. In the end, Virgilia growing up as a trophy wife to marry a man had made sense, and I wanted her to personally want that, too, but at the same time I wanted her to rise above that and, through her romantic interests, show that abuse doesn't mean one has to do a 180 in all and everything that was tainted in abuse. That one's character and interests aren't suddenly bad because of what happened; that what happened is and never will be her fault]

In that sense, once she really sprung into motion, her romance with Plutarch seemed almost inevitable. Snow is tall and thin. He's got too many edges; bones sticking out from underneath his skin. A gaunt old man with wrinkles and white hair. Plutarch is the opposite, something she will yet come to realise about him (mentally I have been writing their first sex scene for a while, thinking about how I want her to feel and experience Plutarch who is her age, height and whose (over)weight plays a large contrasting role to Snow). In that sense, I also want to write a story that neither sexualises nor glosses over overweight men. That his weight isn't something she is "kinky" about but also that isn't absent in her liking of him or her interacting physically with him. Hugging him (or more) doesn’t suddenly render him a thin or muscular man. He feels different, the writing represents that, and she neither is repulsed or kink’ed up by it, but that he feels nice the way he is.

Many things converged in spring 2020, and among those was also me watching the Han/ maids Tal.e. I don't want to bring too much comparison about because I don't want to take away from the quality of Virgilia as a standalone character, but the book-reading (i.e. THT not allowing women to read), the trophy wife ideals and the fact Virgilia was never pregnant but raised someone else's children (though she also does not want children, ever, and she is convinced she would make a terrible mother) are definitely elements present in the show/book that aided in fleshing her out. I also picked Yvonne Strahovski as my sort of mental image of Virgilia, because I wanted her to be this typical trophy wife that Yvonne somewhat represents in the show (sorry if that sort of ruins your idea of what Virgilia looks like. rip!)

#she smelled like white roses #inbox #districtunrest #also 1984 is an inspiration in some aspects but that's a more general thg thing #there will be some elements of winston's story present in hers #i think it's chapter 7 where that becomes noticeable #and the elements introduced in chapter 7 will have long-term effects #virgilia snow

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blris96 · 3 years ago

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Hey B! Thanks for answering our asks! You're great 🤗 Although that double date was definitely all CHENFORD. its definitely split the fandom. Half are happy with the progress and the other half are disappointed, saying all they saw is friendship? Your thoughts as always...

Hi lovely anon!

Thank you! Y’all are awesome too! It’s truly no problem, I find them fun and it’s a nice way to break up my day of being knee deep in Excel for my 9-5! ❤️

This will be a long answer, so please hang in there! There’s a lot to digest and process here (it took me a while to think through all of it, which I love) and to get the full scope of what’s going on fandom wise right now, we need to go through both sides of the coin.

I’m of the stripe that the fandom will remain split until something meaningful happens. It’s been like that since Ashley’s first appearance in 4x06 and stuff really hit the fan. Or, that’s when I noticed things were split. Like always, I can see both sides of the coin here. First, for me, I don’t classify Chenford as a slow burn quite yet. I feel like it’s still very much a will they/won’t they ship. Chenford borrows a TON from the will they/won’t they category. They’re also a very different ship than the others I’ve shipped before with a completely different set of obstacles. With that, let’s get into the processing of what is occurring right now.

Let’s start with the flip side of the coin, the perspective of Chenford having no progress after 4x12:

This season, Chenford hasn’t really moved forward, they also haven’t really moved backwards either. They’ve been stagnant. Yes, we’ve seen some moments a la 4x01 and 4x09 to name a couple. But, we’ve mainly only seen Chenford through the friendship and partnership lens. Some may think that that’s on purpose and the writers don’t want to do Chenford least of all Alexi. The double date was indeed all Chenford! I think that’s a fact both sides of the fandom can agree on. But, friends do go out to dinner. Friends also double date. There was a lot of banter, some teasing and just overall things you’d do with a friend. They were flirty, but friends can flirt with friends too. They could have done a lot more with this double date. They could have had Chenford even more enamored with one another. They could have had Ashley leave the restaurant entirely. They could have had TimAshley break up and have her call out Tim on his feelings for Lucy (I think a lot of people wanted this, myself included). They could have had ChrisLucy not go on a do over date. Chenford when looked at in the scope of the full season up to now, has been stagnant for the most part on its face. That’s where some issues are coming from. Plus, the reluctance of the writers to spell anything out and leaving us to fill in the blanks. There’s been no direction of HOW to take the Chenford interactions since it’s been written vaguely on purpose. As such, there’s dissonance in the fandom, which is what you’re seeing now and why the question of what Chenford is still remains. There’s also the issue of the possibility the show will run out of road before Chenford gets together.

Going to the perspective that Chenford has had progress side of the coin after 4x12:

This is where I’m at right now. I haven’t lost my patience with Chenford yet! If we look at the full scope from S1 to now, Chenford has come a very long way with a lot of progress along the way! We went from Rookie/TO, to friends, to possible romantic interest all in the span of 18-24 months. 1x01-3x09 was 13 months since that’s how long the FTO program is. So, logically thinking, all of this has happened in under or at 2 years. That’s pretty quick! 3x09 was essentially a new starting point without the TO/Rookie thing hanging over their heads.

Like the other side of the coin, the double date was all Chenford here. But, they did this for a reason in my opinion. A double date is insanely tropey. They had Tim essentially grill Lucy after Chris left after they discussed True Crime shows. We saw a smidge of jealousy with the whole “you hated this guy last week and now you’re all sweet on him?” Tim only agreed to go to the dinner to begin with because Lucy called him a control freak, not because Ashley asked him! They had Tim invite Lucy for a reason and ignore Ashley’s want to invite her friend Byron and his girlfriend as the replacement couple. Lucy wasn’t even pining to go to Osia all day! We didn’t hear her mention it once. Tim went to the trouble of scrounging up a date for Lucy when he didn’t have to! An argument could be made for that he asked the first person he saw, but I view it as that he knew Lucy was sweet on Chris and asked him for her since he happened to be in the right place at the right time. Tim was trying to make Lucy happy. He didn’t have to. That says a ton right there that he wanted to make her happy. Not Ashley, Lucy.

The way the date went was interesting. You had Tim drawing Lucy’s attention away from Chris. Whether that was on purpose since he was uncomfortable at a fancy restaurant that clearly wasn’t his scene, or something else. Chenford’s body language was very in tune to one another. Facing each other on purpose is very coupley. Then we had Lucy taking the mushroom pancake off Tim’s plate. Friends do take food off each other’s plates, but they ask first! Lucy didn’t even ask and Tim let her do it. That’s a girlfriend move right there. They were so wrapped up in each other with the goat story, the scattering of Tim’s ashes over Dodger Field and themselves that they didn’t even really pay attention to Ashley or Chris! Chris even mentioned he was a Dodgers fan and Tim didn’t even notice. Tim is a massive Dodgers fan, so that was a subject they had in common and one they could have talked about. They didn’t! That says a lot. It also says a lot that it was filmed and positioned like Chenford was on a date with each other. Then we had Tim accidentally insult Ashley over the dessert and she excused herself. Neither Tim nor Lucy is socially incompetent. Yet, they behaved what was essentially socially incompetent in the presence of two other people. The only thing that mattered was each other. That was done for a reason. I think the further we get into this season, the more this will unravel. They’re laying the groundwork for something.

The ending scenes serve a purpose too, Tim was desperate in trying to get Ashley to give him another chance because he is so deep into trying to ignore whatever he feels for Lucy. The “she’s not my partner, I’m just her sergeant” was a flat out denial. He even said it didn’t matter in what they were talking about! Ashley meanwhile, I think knows it’s doomed, but she really likes Tim, so she’s staying for a bit. Likewise, Chris was waiting for Lucy. Lucy explained what her bond was with Tim, the whole “we have a shorthand”. That signifies to me that Lucy hasn’t fully realized what she feels for Tim yet. I will say that Chris was definitely more understanding than Ashley about the dinner.

Wrap Up:

Until the writers explicitly define what Chenford is and stop having us fill in the blanks (they filled in a ton in 4x12), this will be a split fandom in my opinion. Same thing with the progress, this will be a split fandom until something meaningful happens and the LIs are gone. I think everyone can agree that they’re starting to get to the end of their rope a bit. I think everyone can also agree the writers need to step it up in some aspect. We’ll see what the rest of the season brings. I think they’re laying brickwork right now to get us to that final destination. The LIs are just a step along the way.

#B Answers Questions #ask box #tim bradford #lucy chen #chenford #the rookie #long answer

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harrywritingsbyme · 4 years ago

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So I’m a dark skin girl and I always wonder is Harry gets involved with women that are not white skinny tall blonde model like all his exes. Can u write something about that? Maybe they are friends but reader is into him but keeps us to herself cause she is sure he only date the same type of girls.

Feelings

A/N: I really needed and wanted to write this one. I feel like us chocolate girlies can be a bit left out some times, and it sucks. So I want to do/write more things that are specifically tailored to us black girls because we need to see and read more of it. Also, I don’t want this to be a thing where it’s putting anyone down or being melodramatic towards things that are at the end of the day out of our control. But this is just the way that some people (including myself at times) feel, and everyone should be aware of this. I did made sure that there is something in here that everyone can relate to in some way. So I hope you guys enjoy🙃

4.5k Words

You rarely opened up. Most of your relationships were surface level, and you never fully expressed yourself the way that one would normally. For the longest time, even since you were a child, you never fully opened up to anyone. You would just go about your normal routine as if everything were fine, and bottle up everything you were feeling. Even when you were going through some of the worst times of your life, you still managed to keep face and put on a display of being okay, even though you were on the verge of dying inside. Still, you were able to get through most of your life like this and you were fine with things being the way they were. That is, until a certain someone fell into your life.

When you first met Harry, it was like a breath of fresh air. Even though you still had your wall up and didn’t feel the urge to fully express yourself, you still felt like you could come to him with everything if you wanted to. He was just like the other people you’d met in the past who were nice and willing to get close to you. But at the same time, he still managed to be different than anyone you’d met in the past. You felt a sense of closeness to him that you couldn’t readily explain and that was unlike anyone you’d met before. He made you want to express yourself and release all of the emotions you had pent up inside of you for what felt like forever. It was like he was the person that you needed in your life who could draw out these things out of you. And after a period of time, he was in fact able to do this.

At first, you were beyond anxious to be open and honest to someone about your feelings. But over time, the wall you’d built began to come down and you just allowed yourself to be vulnerable with Harry. And he was able to do the same. You both were able to lower your guards around each other and actually be free. The two of you were able to create a strong and solid friendship that would span across almost 3 years. Whenever something happened in each others lives, you both were each others first call. It was a friendship that neither of you wanted to take for granted. And you both, especially you, made sure to appreciate every moment and each other.

Your appreciation for Harry went a bit deeper though.

You guys’ overall dynamic in the past year hadn’t changed at all. You two still did just about everything together and had a great time in each others company. It was your personal flow that had undergone a drastic change. You began to develop feelings that had gone far beyond the boundary of being platonic. They’d grown to be something beyond the scope of a simple camaraderie. You started to develop romantic feelings for your best friend. It wasn’t uncommon for this to happen, it was normal for someone to develop these feelings towards a person they spent a lot of time with and are close to. It was just that the success rate for transitioning out of a loving, close, and healthy friendship to a loving, romantic, and healthy relationship was slim to none. And for you and particular, you felt like your chances were in the negatives.

It’s already a rough thing to deal with when you find out that the person you have feelings for doesn’t feel the same way towards you. But these pangs of rejection are on a completely different level when you realize that you’re not even their type. Now you didn’t know for a fact what Harry’s “type” was. You’d asked him on separate occasions and his answer was always the same. He’d simply tell you that “if somethings there, then it’s worth a shot”. And you’d always respond with a “that makes sense”, deciding to not go there all together. Even though he said that he didn’t have a type, you knew that in his subconscious, he did in fact have one. There were things about you that didn’t at all align with his exes as a whole. If you had to be blunt, you weren’t skinny, tall, blonde, and white. You were a thick, average in height, dark haired, dark skinned, black woman. The differences between the two were uncanny and that was perfectly fine. You welcomed and celebrated everyones differences. And so did Harry; when it wasn’t his love life.

He just didn’t venture out into other things when it came to his love and personal life. You could honestly say that this was true because you watched it all from the sidelines. You were a bystander and sounding board to Harry during his most recent relationship, and just in general. You recognized the pattern in the women he’d choose to pursue. You’ve even seen in the magazines and on the internet, the people he’d been involved with in the past. And they all were extremely similar.

Seeing all of this made you think that something was wrong with you. What made them so special? You just wanted him to look at you the same way he looked at them. Developing all of these newfound feelings caused you to begin to slip back into your old ways. You began holding in and internalizing everything when it came to this. You’d put on a brave face and act as if everything was okay. You were putting all of your energy into making Harry believe that you were fine. And you successfully did that. He had no clue as to what and how you were feeling, and you wanted to keep it that way. The last thing you wanted to do was lose the person who not only you cared deeply about, but the person who cared deeply about you. You couldn’t lose your best friend.

This endless cycle went on for months. You kept these feelings to yourself and you just kept things going. You hated doing this, but it was what you thought was the best for you. You hated the thought of losing Harry over this. But at the end of the day, you could only take but so much. You could relate this entire thing to a sponge. It takes in all the water it possibly can and eventually, little drops will begin to spill out when it’s reached its maximum capacity for water. You were the sponge. You had been internalizing or harboring all of these feelings for such a long period of time that eventually you were going to reach your tipping point. It was going to get to a place where you’d have to release all of it and tell Harry how you truly felt. And you really wanted to do that. In the past, talking about your feelings was something that you tried, and eventually swore you’d never do. You even tried therapy, but it just wouldn’t work for you. But with Harry, you wanted to talk to him and tell him how you felt. So keeping this inside for so long after not holding it all in for a little over two years was a definite struggle.

In all of this though, you had no idea that the struggle you faced in holding everything inside was nowhere near the level of struggle you faced when you finally let it all out.

The end of the week had finally came which meant that it was you and Harry’s night to hang out and talk about you guys’ week…even though you two talked just about everyday. This just gave you two an excuse to hang out. After you two made and ate dinner, you two decided to head outside and sit by the pool to enjoy Harry’s view and watch the sunset. The conversation between the two of you seamlessly bounced from subject to subject, and it managed to bounce all the way to relationships.

“Any hot dates comin’ up?” Harry asks beside you, taking another swig from his glass of wine.

“No. None that I know of at least. You?” You reply, redirecting the question back to him.

“Me neither, but I have been talking to someone for the past couple of days.” Harry replies.

“And you haven’t told me this?! As your best friend, I feel offended.” You joke with him, sitting up from the chair to get a better look at him.

“Don’t be offended, you’ll always be my number one.” Harry coos with a laugh. “It’s nothing major or serious I guess.” He continues.

“Got a picture?” You ask. Asking him this was a big mistake.

“I think so.” Harry replies, pulling his phone out of his pocket. After a few seconds, he hands the phone over to you and there it was. A girl who looked exactly like everyone else he’s dated.

“Oh, she looks just like everyone else you’ve dated.” You hum amusedly, handing the phone back to him. Under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t have said that. But you had a pretty good buzz going from the drinks Harry made, and the glass of wine you were currently working with. So your lips were a little bit looser than normal.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry asks with a very confused tone.

“No offense, but she looks like most of your exes.” You repeat, thinking back to the picture Harry just showed you.

“No she does not.” Harry says adamantly, brushing off your comment.

“It’s okay Harry, we all know that you have a type.” You softly laugh. You were only teasing him...right?

“I do not have a type Y/n! Where is this coming from?” You could hear in his voice that he was genuinely confused.

“This is coming from your best friend who’s seen you in a relationship with someone who not only looks like the girl you just showed me, but also girls before her.” You explain.

“Well tell me these similarities because I’m still not following.”

“Tall, skinny, blonde, and-�� You didn’t even think about the last and final one before saying it. “white.” You finish, listing off every last similarity.

“No they’re no-“ Harry couldn’t even finish his own sentence. He realized that it was in fact true. He didn’t know why he’d never seen the pattern before. He also couldn’t wrap his head around why you were so up and arms about it. When he looked at you, he could tell that you weren’t feeling the best about this conversation. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol or him just being really bad at comprehension. He just wanted to make sense of it all and where it was coming from.

“Can you honestly say that I, or anyone that looks like me for that matter would have an equal shot at being with you?”

There it was. The crazy thing about it all was that the question you just asked him, wasn’t even the bulk of what you really wanted to tell him. You weren’t even expecting to talk to him about this at all. You thought that you’d have a little bit more time to collect your thoughts, but all of this came completely out of left field.

Asking Harry that question, along with the entire conversation in general was like stabbing yourself in the heart. It wasn’t even a full conversation and you were already dying inside. Every second of silence from Harry that went by was like a twist to the knife that was already buried inside you. You wanted to blame Harry for the horrible way you were feeling, but you couldn’t. You wanted to blame yourself for even bringing it up, but you couldn’t do that either. All you could do was sit there and try your best to muster up the tiniest bit of strength to pick yourself up and leave. Your body felt extremely heavy and you just wanted to get out of there.

Without uttering a single word to Harry, you finally pick yourself up and you walk away from him and the entire situation. Harry was still trying to wrap his head around the idea that he did in fact have a type, but seeing you walk away from him like that crushed him. He felt like you were not only walking away from him, you were also walking out of his life. He felt absolutely crushed and completely helpless. He was all alone. He had so many thoughts and feelings running around in his head that he couldn’t even chase after you to help him figure them out. And by the time he would finally build up the strength and courage to go after you, you would’ve already been gone.

When you walked back into the house, you didn’t waste any time gathering your belongings that you’d brought with you before leaving out the front door. Since you were drinking, you decided to just call an Uber and just come back to get your car in the morning. For the next 5 minuets, you just stood outside Harry’s home. Staring blankly at whatever was around, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes, and trying to take your mind off of everything.

You were so glad that the driver wasn’t trying to engage in a conversation with you because you weren’t in the mood at all. You just wanted complete silence. If you were to talk, you were going to burst into tears. And the last thing you wanted to do was permanently scar your Uber driver, so you decided to just stay silent.

When you finally got to your building, you rushed out a quick thank you to the driver and you sprinted through the building and up to your apartment. The moment you stepped foot inside was the first time you breathed in the past two hours. As soon as you shut your front door you just collapsed into a heaping pile of tears. You were pretty much sobbing against your front door. This was the worst you’d ever felt in a really long time. You felt a mixture of anger, sadness, and pain. This was one of the sole reasons why you hated letting people in. Bringing those walls down meant that you were exposed and vulnerable. You had no defense what so ever. You tore those walls down just to have someone tear you apart, and leave you to pick up the pieces. You were torn apart by the person you needed the most.

While you were at home bawling your eyes out, Harry was still wrapping his mind around what you said and what he didn’t say. The buzz he once had going was now gone, and his mind was all over the place. He didn’t even move from where he was sitting. He just sat outside and thought about it all. Harry realized that he not only had a type, but you had feelings for him. He thought that you only considered him to be a close friend and nothing more. But when you said “I, or anyone who looks like me…” he was able to read in between the lines to understand that you were mainly talking about yourself. It crushed Harry even more when he thought about the possibility of you not thinking that you were good enough for him. Simply because of his “preferences”, that were unbeknownst to him from the past. The fact that he made you feel this way was beyond gut wrenching and he just wanted to go back in time and tell you that the only type he has is you. That was one of the reasons that he clung to you the way he did. He looked to you as the model of what he could ever want in a partner. He always looked to you for your opinions and guidance because you were one of the best people that had ever came into his life. But instead of saying all of this, what he truly felt deep down, he didn’t say anything at all. He let you slip out of his grasp, and he didn’t know how to get you back. He didn’t even know if he was going to get you back. In that moment, he realized that his love for you went way beyond the general scope of being best friends. It wasn’t until 2 am that Harry was able to pick himself up from the lounge chair outside and go upstairs to bed. And even then, he still felt horrible. He was numb. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t end up going to bed until 5 am because he couldn’t stop crying and worrying. What made him completely break down was the fact that he couldn’t even call you. He couldn’t talk to the one person that always helped him through his dark times and picked him up. He knew what it was like to hit rock bottom, but this was an all-time low for Harry.

That night was officially at top of the list for the worst nights of you and Harry’s lives.

The next day was just as bad, if not worse than the last. You ended up falling asleep on the couch, and Harry couldn’t even get out of bed. The both of you were a mess and you didn’t know what to do. You avoided any type of communication with each other. The only time you and Harry interacted was to tell him that you were using the gate code to get your car from his driveway. After that, there was radio silence. The simple thought of each other could bring you both to tears. This entire ordeal didn’t last for just a day or two. It lasted for almost a week. The both of you were too emotional and broken to even function. You were using the time you saved up on your job to sulk around at home and stay inside your bubble sadness and heartbreak. And Harry was neglecting all of the things that he needed to do so that he could stay in bed and try to take his mind off of you. But after what was going on to be day 5, Harry couldn’t take anymore of this. It wasn’t because he was feeling horrible. It was because Harry knew that he broke your heart. He had the clearest picture of you at home, completely broken up because of him. He could almost feel your pain and he hated it. He needed to tell you his true feelings and beg you to forgive him. He couldn’t sit around anymore and not talk to you. You were not only his best friend, you were also the woman that he loved. In the days of him sitting at home and thinking, he realized that he didn’t give it a shot. He didn’t give you a shot. He was constantly chasing after something that was already his and right in front of him.

After a long much needed shower, Harry got himself dressed and ready to go over to your place. On the way over, Harry made a stop to the florist that was in your direction and picked up the biggest bouquet of sunflowers he could possibly buy. Not only were they your favorite flower, but you always seemed to gravitate towards the yellows because “they make my skin tone pop.” And they certainly did. Even remembering those little things could make Harry want to just burst into tears. For the rest of the drive to your apartment, Harry practiced all of the points he wanted to make out loud. He made sure that he remembered every last thing he wanted to say…and there was a lot. He was also preparing for the moment where you’d tell him that you didn’t want to talk to him ever again. Even though it may have seemed a bit extreme, he could understand why. He hurt you, and that’s the consequence that he’d have to pay. As he got closer and closer to your building, Harry could feel the butterflies in his stomach intensify and his lunch slowly make it’s way back up. He wasn’t feeling good at all, but he couldn’t turn his back on you and not try at all to redeem himself.

Between the time Harry got out of his car to when he was finally standing at your door was rough. As he got closer, his body got weaker. He was feeling a combination of embarrassment, sadness, anger, and worry. These feelings were so strong that he had to take two minuets before knocking on your door to stop himself from either throwing up or crying. Eventually he was able to get himself somewhat together and finally knock on your door.

When you hear the knock, you were sitting on your couch with your fluffy bathrobe on (that just so happened to be the one Harry brought you during one of his trips to Italy) with a pint of ice cream in hand, watching whatever was on the tv at the moment. You wanted to ignore the knock all together and just focus on your ice cream and the tv but you didn’t want to leave the person at the door hanging. So you reluctantly sit the cup down and you drag yourself to the door. When you look out through the peephole, your anxiety in that moment skyrockets. What in the world was Harry doing at your front door?! Even though you looked like an absolute mess and you didn’t want to talk to him in that moment, you still open the door for him.

When the door swings open and he sees you the waterworks begin all over again. He could see how puffy your face was from crying and how disheveled you looked and he hated it. He could feel the warm tears bubbling up in his eyes, but he was trying to do his best to keep them back. The two of you just stand there before Harry decides to talk.

“M’so sorry Y/n.” That’s all he could say. He wasn’t just apologizing for what he said or didn’t say. He was also trying to say that he was a sorry person. It took him losing you for what felt like an eternity to really see how amazing you are and how much you contributed to his life.

“Wanna come in?” You ask him, stepping to the side to let him into your apartment. In that moment Harry just wanted to scoop you up into his arms and never let you go. He wanted to feel your warm and happy disposition that was now being clouded because of him. He wanted his Y/n back. When he walks inside, he quickly kicks his shoes off at the door and follows you into the kitchen.

“I got these for you.” He whispers, sitting the large bouquet on the counter and sitting on the other side.

“Thanks.” You whisper back to him, sending a soft smile his way. You wanted to almost to reassure Harry that you weren’t mad at him anymore. You were just sad and heartbroken. You never had feelings like these in such a large magnitude before. And because of this, you weren’t expecting any of what happened.

You silently turn away from him to grab the two vases you had in the cabinet and you sit them down on the counter in front of Harry.

“I’m sorry if I overreacted on Friday. I just…” you mumble, beginning to unwrap the pretty flowers that were laying on the counter. You were trying to get your thoughts together but it was so hard.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about. It was all my fault for not saying anything or acknowledging you.” When he says that, your breaths become shakier and a tear slips from your eye. You continue to keep your focus on the flowers as you try to compose your next sentence in your head. You’re so caught up in your thoughts that you don’t even notice Harry coming around to your side of the counter. He softly pulls your hands away from the flowers and he pulls you into his body.

That was the moment you needed. You thought your release was over the past few days but they were only building up to this. Feeling his arms securely wrapped around you was the only thing you wanted or needed from him. Feeling and hearing your cries only made Harry cry too. The both of you just stood there in your kitchen holding each other as you both poured your hearts out to each other through your tears. This time, not saying anything was saying everything. The both of you could feel what the other was feeling and wanted to say. It was like a large weight was lifted off of you both. After a few more moments of crying and being in your arms, Harry needed to get one thing off of his chest. When he pulls away from you he cups both of your cheeks in his hands and he looks right into your eyes. He wanted to make sure that you knew that he meant every last word that was coming out of his mouth.

“I can’t even explain how sorry I am Y/n. You mean the world to me and I can’t even fathom the idea of not having you in my life. Seeing you completely broken the other night haunts me everyday and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for that. After not having your in my life, even if it was only a few days, I realized that I can’t live without you. I’ve spent so much time and energy looking for my match when I didn’t even bother to look right in front of me. The only type that I have is you. You’re absolutely stunning, inside and out. I feel like a proper dick for making you feel like you weren’t good enough for me. It’s me who’s not good enough. I let you down and I’ll never forget that. You’ve never left my side in the past 3 years and I couldn’t even give you a simple answer. I love you so much and I’ll never stop.” When Harry says this, the knife that was once burrowed in your heart was gone and the wound is patched up as if it never happened. Sure it’ll take time for it all to completely go away, but this was a hell of a good start.

“I love you so much.” You whimper, feeling another heavy round of hot tears cascade down your face. Harry then pulls your head towards his and presses a long, warm kiss right onto your forehead. That, along with his previous words got rid of the clouds. You were happy again. Your once full sponge was now empty. This meant that you could fill it up again, only this time with feelings of love and happiness. You could finally retire from building walls around yourself and continue experiencing the good that came from being vulnerable.

Masterlist

#Harry Styles #harry styles smut #harry smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles x woc #harry styles woc imagines #harry styles writing #my harry writing #concepts of h #harrywritingsbyme

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thetypedwriter · 3 years ago

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All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review

All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review by MsKingBean89

So.

This is a first.

If you’ve been following this blog for some time, then you know I generally read young adult books and write far too lengthy reviews on them with the occasional outlier of adult fiction, mystery, sci-fi, etc.

At any given time, I usually have both a physical book that I’ve bought from somewhere that I’m working on (right now it’s Firekeeper's Daughter by Angeline Boulley) as well as a fanfiction that I reserve until before I go to bed (my treat for a day well lived).

Fanfiction is something that I’ve mentioned copious amounts of times on this blog in varying degrees, but this is the first time I’ll be writing an actual review for one of them on this platform.

The reason for this is myriad.

One, this fanfiction called All the Young Dudes is a far-cry from your normal standardized fanfiction of 5-50,000 words-something I can easily consume in a few minutes to a few hours.

Nope, this behemoth ends on a staggering 526,969 words and 188 chapters, not including bonus chapters and extra in-universe canonical content the author has also written and published. Roughly speaking, if this was actually published onto paper it would be well over 2,000 pages.

2,000 pages.

Yeah. And I enjoyed every single moment of it.

Two, while I read a lot of fanfiction I generally don’t put any of it on this blog because while I’ve dedicated it to published novels, I also usually have very simple feelings about fanfiction. My thoughts run the gambit of: It was good, it was fluffy, it was a train-wreck, so on and so forth.

Normally my reviews are so long and wordy because I have too many thoughts about the published books that I read and I need an outlet to let them loose.

Whether because of its longevity or because of its content, All the Young Dudes is a story I find myself having a profusion of thoughts for. Hence, the birth of this review.

If fanfiction isn’t your thing, feel free to skip this particular review of mine (although fanfiction is a gift to this world and you should really rethink your stance on it if you don’t like it, just saying).

Third, All the Young Dudes is well written and rivals any actual published content.

Fourth, because of how extensive this fanfiction is, it took me over a month to read it-time I generally would have been reading something else. Instead of leaving you all hanging for a few more weeks until I finish Firekeeper's Daughter (don’t hold your breath-the book is sort of a slog for me personally right now), I decided to just take the jump and write my first-ever typedwriter review for a fanfiction.

Fanfiction has been a part of my life for the better part of almost two decades now. It was truly something I found by accident and in retrospect, it’s insane to me that it’s still something that brings me continuous joy and happiness.

I discovered fanfiction when I was 11-years-old and deeply obsessed with the Harry Potter fandom.

Now, as an overall disclaimer I completely disagree with J.K. Rowling’s stances of gender and biology and differ wholeheartedly with her views of trans and non-binary individuals. With that said, I still love Harry Potter as a story and while I no longer buy anything that profits J.K. Rowling directly, I still love the fandom and the people in it, including fanworks like All the Young Dudes.

When I was 11, the seventh Harry Potter book had yet to come out and like many other people in this time period of agony while waiting for 2007 to roll around so that I could find out what happened, I discovered fanfiction as a way to fill in that ache I was so keenly feeling.

I found myself suddenly immersed in this world of online fiction-both good and bad-but completely entrancing all the same.

I never left.

That is to say, I did eventually move onto other fandoms with their own fanfiction cultures, but Harry Potter was still my first in terms of fanfiction and introducing me to the concept as a whole.

Specifically and maybe oddly, I never found myself curious for actual fanfiction about Harry or Hermione or Ron. In my mind, I already knew what had happened to them and reading about them in fanfiction was redundant.

In addition, the first fanfiction I just happened to come across was a Lily/James marauder era fanfiction on mugglenet.com

This idea immediately intrigued me as fans as a whole knew next to nothing about the infamous Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs and while I knew everything I needed to about Harry Potter it was intoxicating to think that I could learn about a time before the series had existed and about characters who were important, but off screen.

I was hooked and devoured as much as I could for most of middle school about the marauders and Lily and James’ romance in particular (I even wrote and published some of my own that will go unmentioned as they are truly really terrible).

That being said, I haven’t read a Harry Potter fanfiction in years. I grew up and out of the fandom eventually thanks to Twilight and from there I’ve bounced from fandom to fandom as I’ve aged and consumed different things and fallen in love with different characters and different worlds.

That isn’t to say I’ve forgotten though.

I still remember my favorite marauder stories, my favorite Sirius Black/OFC (original female character), and my favorite baby Harry drabbles. They made such a huge impression on me and even though it’s been sixteen years, I still recall those stories with fond nostalgia and jubilation.

Which is why it’s almost ironic that I would return to this particular time period of the marauders with All the Young Dudes.

In a fashion that’s almost scarily full circle, I happened to be on Youtube one day and saw a recommendation video about this girl reviewing a fanfiction called All the Young Dudes. Now, youtube book reviews aren’t uncommon, but a thirty minute video for a fanfiction? Not your typical sighting.

So out of pure curiosity, I searched All the Young Dudes fanfiction on Google and low and behold the overwhelming and top results were all for a marauder-era fanfiction by MsKingBean89. Piqued, I clicked on the link in ao3 and thought why not?

While I’ve mainly been reading in other fandoms recently (BTS, some anime and manga, All for the Game) I had been in a little bit of a slump for finding a really good, really alluring story for some time and really didn’t think I had anything to lose by reading All the Young Dudes, especially as the more research I did, the more I found how popular it was-a plethora of videos on youtube, tiktok compilations, and dozens of fanart posts.

Plus, it had been so long since I had read anything from my progenitor fandom and the thought of going back was strangely comforting.

Hence the journey of reading All the Young Dudes began and oh what a journey it was.

Now, that this review is already five pages in, I should probably tell you what on earth All the Young Dudes is actually about.

The whole story is a marauder-era fanfiction told from Remus Lupin’s POV from the summer of 1971 when Remus is 11-years-old to the summer of 1995 when he is 35-five-years-old. It is an in-depth portrayal of Remus’ time at Hogwarts from year one to year seven and then going all the way up to the start of the second wizarding world, ending around the time Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix begins.

While already the scope makes this a massive undertaking, the author also includes all canonical content from the original series involving Remus, the Marauders, and the time period and incorporates it into her fanfiction-making it canon compliant from start to finish.

While a very large portion of this story is not romantic, there is eventual WolfStar (Remus Lupin/Sirius Black) and if you have read the original Harry Potter series...well. You know things don't end up super dandy for these two characters in particular so you know how the story will end before it begins.

This fanfiction left me speechless for so many reasons.

The scope and length is frankly unbelievable. This fanfiction was published on March 2, 2017 and it was completed on November 12, 2018.

….how?

How did she manage that? I frankly have no idea, but I am in complete and utter awe at her ability to write content with such a magnitude and actually complete it. She gets an award just for that honestly.

Not only that, but the fanfiction is actually superbly well-written. I won’t lie and say it’s the most poignant and beautiful piece of literature I’ve ever consumed, but it was consistent in its pacing, characterization, themes, motifs, and structure, which, for 2,000 pages, is an incredible achievement when you think about it.

Speaking of characterization, everyone was So. Well. Done.

Remus was such an interesting POV to read from and while he was compliant in every sense of the word-werewolf, prefect, bookish-MsKingBean89 added so much more to his character and fleshed him out so incredibly that it’s truly tragic that he’s not a real person.

And to that extent, she does this with all of the characters. You see James’ optimism and leadership, Sirius’ arrogance and loyalty, Peter’s jealousy and chess skills.

Every character was so well-rounded and real. She did an incredible job of taking the bits and pieces from the canon series and using that to build up her own flesh and blood people with motivations, likes, dislikes, dreams, and desires.

That being said, she also had 2,000 pages to do it sooooooo it would be bad if the characters weren’t fleshed out by the end honestly.

In addition, I really appreciated that she didn’t just focus on Remus, Sirius, James and Peter. Lily Evans played a critical role in Remus’ school life and after and so did the other Gryffindor girls like Marlene and Mary.

Too often, the focus is on the boys and their close friendship and while that was a huge focus, we also get to see Remus develop friendships with the girls in his own right and other friends as well that were often OC’s of the author’s.

Now. OC’s are generally something I dislike. I’m reading fanfiction to read about particular characters that I’ve sought after, not to read about some imaginary cast. However, just like any of the canon characters, all of the OC characters were well-developed and played crucial roles in Remus’ development-while either at Hogwarts or after-and I found myself not minding them in the least. In a few cases (Grant) I actually really loved them.

The biggest draw for this fanfiction for me was Remus’ time at Hogwarts. It was so well-written and incredibly descriptive and I found myself thrust back into the world of magic so suddenly and seamlessly that it was like I never left.

MsKingBean89 includes so many intricate details and builds up the world so beautifully that I’d recommend any Harry Potter fan to consume it, just to get some good Hogwarts material out of it.

Another thing I greatly appreciate about this fanfiction was the slow burn. I’ve read slow burn before (All for the Game trilogy anybody?), but this truly took the cake. Sirius and Remus don’t properly get together until the end of year six going into year seven. That’s over 100 chapters in.

100 chapters out of 188.

Meaning that over half of this beast doesn’t have the main pairing even together. For some people, this could be a drawback. You might think to yourself: It takes how long for them to confess their feelings and stop being prats?

A very, very long time.

However...it didn’t bug me. I like slow burn to begin with, but being along for the ride as Remus goes from being a child to an adolescent with unrequited feelings to being in a relationship with someone he loves is so rewarding and fulfilling that the 100 previous chapters are completely and utterly worth it.

MsKingBean89 develops them so well and so carefully that the payoff is so sweet and satisfactory that it's enough to bring the tears right then and there.

The last huge feat of this fanfiction for me was the author’s dedication to canon not just confined to Hogwarts and the Harry Potter books, but also to the time period. Either she lived through the 70’s and 80’s herself or she had done her due diligence when it comes to research because anything from London anti-gay laws to British slang was commonplace in her fic.

I found it completely amazing how she was able to tie in real-time historical and cultural moments like famous singers and movies playing at the time alongside convoluted muggle politics warring with the wizarding ones.

I was so blown away by the accuracy and genuine love behind this fic that it often brought me out of my own mind to simply ponder once again how much work this was and how well she was delivering it.

Even unpleasant things, like homophobia and bigotry, are dealt with in a very carefully constructed way that is aligned with the time period in which the story takes place.

Unfortunately, everything beautiful is not without flaws and All the Young Dudes is not the exception, although it’s flaws are nary compared to its achievements.

The few complaints I have with this fic are honestly quite negligible.

First, there are a few grammatical and punctuation errors. Very few, but I did notice some.

Next, and again, this complaint is really just me whining, but...the end of the fic was really fucking sad. The end of this whole story took me so much time to complete simply because I didn’t want to read it.

I know what happened during the first wizarding war and I also know what ended it (James and Lily Potter dying, Harry being shipped off to the Dursley’s, Sirius imprisoned for a murder he didn’t commit, Peter presumed dead) and in one fell swoop Remus lost everything and everyone he ever loved.

After spending over 1,500 pages of Remus growing to love these people it is absolutely devastating and heart-breaking to see him lose it all.

The last handful of chapters are just really, really sad and it makes me wonder why MsKingBean89 decided to write it in the first place. Frankly, I don't know why she didn't write about Remus’ time at Hogwarts and stop after graduation because we all know what happens after that and none of it is good.

Looking back, I wish I could time travel and tell myself to stop at chapter 150. I truly didn’t need to read about the tragedies that happened after that and the hell that all of the characters go through.

And while it does end on a….sort of kind of maybe positive (?) note with Sirius and Remus reuniting briefly once the events of Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban take place, it was really tainted and bittersweet for me knowing that in a year Sirius would die and Remus would marry his fucking cousin and have a child.

Urgh.

I just can’t.

That being said, I understand it’s not the author’s fault and I’m not saying it is. She wrote a canon compliant fic to the end and it was my choice to continue reading. That being said, she said she ended it before the events of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix because Sirius and Remus are happy and back together and she didn’t want to write what was coming next if she continued.

I truly, truly get that.

But in the same vein, why even write the events of the first wizarding world to begin with then? I’m confused with that response as it doesn’t make much sense to me. I felt like ending it right then and there was not a happy ending. They’re together, yes, but at this point they are both shells of who they used to be. Both have severe trauma and PTSD and frankly I don’t even know if I agree with them being together just because they’ve put each other through so much.

It’s just an interesting choice at the end of the day in terms of the author.

Once again, however, I truly understand that she can do whatever she wants and that she doesn’t owe anyone anything, especially as she’s writing this for free and just because. So please keep in mind that although I’m complaining, I truly understand how fortunate we are to even have this fic in the first place.

Okay.

Secondly, my only other huge complaint is that MsKingBean89 made Remus gay. Not bi, not pan. Gay.

You could argue that Remus just calls himself gay in the fanficiton as he didn’t know about other kinds of sexuality. You could argue that Remus’ sexuality changes and develops as he ages and experiences trials and tribulations. You could argue that it was a sign of times like so much else in this fic.

I frankly just found it to be a frustrating choice as the fic is canon compliant and even though it ends before the events of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows we know that Remus eventually marries Tonks and has a baby son named Teddy Lupin.

How does that make sense?

I tried very, very hard to come up with some sort of feasible explanation for how a gay man would have ended up with the love of his life’s female cousin and truly could not think of one that was not fucked up to some degree.

Again. I know I’m being nit-picky, but it irked me that she made this choice regarding Remus’ sexuality and essentially ended her fic with Remus stuck in a corner regarding how the series actually ends.

At the end of the day, all of the negatives are truly, truly not important. I’m just whinging to whine and to express my thoughts, but I do once again understand that MsKingBean89 isn’t profiting from this fic and that she can do what she wants as is her prerogative.

I hope I was able to express that while I understand that, I can still be frustrated with some of the choices she made.

To wrap this all up, All the Young Dudes is a masterpiece and is a must-read for anyone who loves Harry Potter, the Marauders, or Wolfstar. I was blown away by the sheer magnitude, the love and care she put into her craft, the slow and deliberate development of all the characters, the beautifully constructed love between Sirius and Remus, and the intricate world-both muggle and magic-that surrounded the story like a cocoon.

I am so happy I found this fic and I truthfully am floundering at what to do with myself next. If you have any more current Marauder era fics that I’ve missed out in the past eleven years, please don’t hesitate to let me know.

Recommendation: Go read All the Young Dudes. For weeks, you will cry, you will laugh, you will despair, and you will smile. This fanfiction will make you wish this was canon and in my mind, it now is.

Score: 8/10

Links:

1. All the Young Dudes on ao3

2. The Youtube Video about All the Young Dudes that made me aware of its existence

#all the young dudes #wolfstar #Harry Potter #fanfiction #harry potter fanfic rec #marauders #book review #Book Recommendations #fanfiction recs #fanfiction review #wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar fanart

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lokiondisneyplus · 3 years ago

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SPOILER WARNING: Do not read if you haven’t seen Season 1, Episode 5 of “Loki,” now streaming on Disney Plus.

I think it’s when Alligator Loki ate President Loki’s hand that I realized I was in love.

To be sure, I was always into “Loki,” Marvel Studios’ third Disney Plus series and the first devoted to exploring a single character: the god of mischief as played by Tom Hiddleston. From the first episode, I dug the absurdist deadpan humor imbued by head writer Michael Waldron, and I was immediately smitten with how director Kate Herron employed ’70s sci-fi brutalism and a particularly British affinity for bureaucracy to build out the world of the Time Variance Authority.

“Loki” looked unlike anything I’d ever seen in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, an increasingly difficult prospect given there are now 26 discrete iterations of the MCU — soon to be 27 with the impending debut of “Black Widow.” As the show has progressed, that feeling has only grown more acute as “Loki,” in its exploration of its title character’s identity, managed to carve out its own unique personality not just in the MCU, but also in the grander landscape of sci-fi storytelling.

To put it as simply as I can, “Loki” is a cosmic-yet-intimate time-traveling romantic action comedy about how Hiddleston’s sexually fluid narcissist finally learns how to fall in love with himself — or, rather, the female version of himself who has lived a whole lifetime of harrowing experiences apart from his own. In doing so, the show has proven that not only can the MCU work on television, it can thrive on it.

Marvel Studios’ first Disney Plus series, “WandaVision,” was a fabulous first step onto TV, proving that the MCU, itself an experiment in creating an episodic series of blockbuster feature films, could shrink itself down to the scope of an American sitcom. Its exploration of grief and the restorative power of comfort TV could not have been more relevant to an audience enduring a devastating pandemic. But as it unfolded, the escalating mystery of what was actually happening on “WandaVision” — Evan Peters showing up as Pietro-but-not-actually-Pietro, Kathryn Hahn hiding in plain sight as Agatha, Elizabeth Olsen unwittingly responsible for almost everything on the show as Wanda — began to overwhelm it. Fans and major entertainment news outlets alike began wildly theorizing each week — it’s Mephisto! it’s Magneto! — and the pressure to achieve a Marvel-sized scale, service a wide ensemble of MCU characters, and resolve all its narrative strands made the final episodes of “WandaVision” feel, to some, misshapen.

Marvel’s follow-up series, “The Falcon and the Winter Soldier,” meanwhile, was at once more conventional and more ungainly, with five separate antagonists (John Walker, Karli Morgenthau, Helmut Zemo, Sharon Carter and Valentina Allegra de Fontaine) operating at cross-purposes and overshadowing the two title characters meant to be at the heart of the show and the exploration of being a Black man in America meant to drive it.

“Loki” avoids all of that, because it’s the first MCU show that understands to its bones that the best television is about its characters first, and its story second. The lasting pleasure of longform storytelling is allowing the audience a far deeper understanding of who is on screen than a two-hour movie can allow. That sensibility is already woven into the MCU: Watching Tony Stark, Thor, and Steve Rogers grow and changed over multiple features has been central to the franchise’s unprecedented success. But while Marvel’s conviction to make their shows the same way they’ve made their movies makes sense, it’s also had the paradoxical effect of making “WandaVision” and “FAWS” feel too overloaded with their characters doing stuff than just letting them be.

Each episode of “Loki” does just that. In Episode 1, Loki and Mobius (Owen Wilson, never better?) sit and talk about why Loki does what he does; in Episode 2, they ruminate on the nature of accepted reality while trying to solve the mystery of the variant Loki’s whereabouts. In Episode 3, Loki and Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino, an instant star) spend the entire hour walking through a doomed planet getting to know each other, and casually coming out in the process. Episode 4 is when the story shifts into a higher gear, with Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s Ravonna Renslayer emerging as its true antagonist, but even that episode allowed for several extended scenes of human connection, between Ravonna and Mobius, Loki and Mobius, and Sylvie and Hunter B-15 (Wunmi Mosaku, richer with each episode).

This week’s penultimate episode, “Journey Into Mystery,” introduces several new Loki variants, a critical new location in the Void (the purgatory at the end of time into which all pruned entities are dumped) and a blockbuster movie sized enemy in the monstrous, timeline devouring Alioth (re-imagined somewhat from the comic books). And yet, there’s still time for Loki and Sylvie to sit on a hill, share a conjured blanket and quietly express how much they mean to each other, and there’s also time for Classic Loki (the great Richard E. Grant) to get a deeply satisfying character arc. After explaining how his own existential despair at his lot in life allowed him to live well past his encounter with Thanos, Classic Loki’s encounter with Loki and Sylvie reinvigorates his sense of glorious purpose — and helps Loki to understand he’s more powerful than he’s ever allowed himself to be. It’s a full meal in miniature, and Grant makes the most of it.

All the while, Herron and writer Tom Kauffman work in all manner of delightful alternate reality Easter eggs, from the USS Eldridge (purported to have been part of an experimental cloaking and teleportation device in 1943) to the Polybius video game (purported to be a government psy-ops scheme). More notably, there are also some MCU Easter eggs, including the Thanos helicopter and the Living Tribunal that flit by quickly and appear designed to tickle Marvel die-hards and pleasantly mystify everyone else. And then there’s Alligator Loki, a flawless creature who should be protected at all costs.

There is one blink-and-you-missed-it moment, though, that could be something more, when the Qeng Enterprises logo shows up on the Avengers tower. In the comics, Tony Stark sells that tower to Qeng, which is secretly connected to the same Marvel boogeyman that’s haunted “Loki” from its premiere: Kang the Conqueror. The decrepit house Loki and Sylvie are stepping towards at the end of the episode also looks like it could — could — be Chronopolis, Kang’s HQ in the comics, although the TVA itself could be that as well. In any event, it’s been well documented, here and elsewhere, that Kang could be the entity who is really behind the TVA, especially since “Lovecraft Country” star Jonathan Majors has already been cast in the role and will appear in 2023’s “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania.”

If “Loki” does introduce Kang in its finale, however, then the show is stepping onto its highest, thinnest tightrope yet. This is supposed to be a show about Loki, not about a villain that, within the world of the MCU, remains a total unknown. It’s a massive risk for any series to bring in a brand new character — let alone the Big Bad! — in the final episode, so this could be another example of an MCU series serving the larger franchise at the expense of its own story. That would be a shame. Sticking the landing, after all, has always been troublesome for TV because TV is so much more about the shared journey than the ultimate destination. And yet, if anyone in the MCU knows how to alight onto safe ground despite impossible odds, it is the god of outcasts, who lives to survive.

“Loki” streams new episodes Wednesdays on Disney Plus.

#Loki #episode 5 review #spoilers

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joaquinwhorres · 3 years ago

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Author Asks: 3, 10, 21 and 29

Hi!!! I haven't seen you on my dash in way too long!!

3. How do you know when a scene is “done”?

When I can’t come up with anything else to say. But more seriously, I tend to end my scenes once a conversation no longer serves the plot or characterization. I read once that if you’re bored writing it, the reader’s gonna be bored reading it. So if I start getting bored with a scene or feel like it’s dragging on, I stop.

10. Does your narrator move from character to character?

Sometimes! I did this more often when I first wrote with my stories like Parting Shot. I also have some excerpts of The Fool, Best of Friends, and other projects written from the love interests' perspective. It's pretty helpful when I'm trying to figure out what happened behind the scenes to lead that character to where they are right now.

But in general, in my published stuff, I only write from the narrator's perspective because I find that an easier way to build tension and have reveals.

21. What is your best piece of advice for writing romance scenes?

Romance is a full body and spirit experience. Try to balance thoughts with physical sensations and emotions.

Sometimes the strongest responses are unsaid. If you can show it with an action or a piece of dialogue, do that. Don’t over explain it

Love is hard to put in words and a lot of people don’t feel comfortable voicing romantic feelings explicitly. Especially early in relationships.

i.e. “You’re the best person I know. You constantly amaze me with how beautiful and smart you are.” vs. “Sometimes I’m just in awe of you.”

Comparisons are also inherent in romantic relationships, but try not to be too explicit or add too many.

i.e. It was the best kiss he’d ever experienced. vs. Nobody had ever made his fingers itch for more, desperate to touch skin hidden under sweatshirts and jeans.

29. How do you plot your stories?

I have an idea and then I start from the beginning and online a timeline of events. Usually I put it on a calendar in order to help me conceptualise the scope and sequence of the plot. (This is particularly useful for fics).

Then I decide what events are reasonable to include in a chapter together and segment off the story that way. When I go to write the chapter I sometimes find there’s too much or that I need to add some more transitions or characterization based scenes so I put them in.

#writing advice #writer asks #fun and games #thanks for sending this in!!!

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gffa · 4 years ago

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Star Wars: The Clone Wars – Stories of Light and Dark, coming August 25, promises to be a beautiful tribute to the just-completed animated series. The anthology will collect 11 stories by 11 authors — Lou Anders, Preeti Chhibber, Zoraida Córdova, Jason Fry, Rebecca Roanhorse, Greg Van Eekhout, Tom Angleberger, E. Anne Convery, Sarah Beth Durst, Yoon Ha Lee, and Anne Ursu — including 10 retellings of memorable episodes and arcs and one original Nightsisters-based story. So if you loved the tales of Ahsoka, Maul, and clanker-busting clones, Star Wars: The Clone Wars – Stories of Light and Dark will give you the chance to experience them again in a whole new way. Like Captain Rex on a recon mission, StarWars.com reached out to each author to learn why they love The Clone Wars, and which stories they’re telling. Lou Anders (“Dooku Captured” and “The Gungan General,” based on the episodes of the same name): I love The Clone Wars for expanding the story of Anakin’s fall from grace. Skywalker really shines in the series, and we see what he truly was, and what he could have been, and by giving him so many opportunities to excel in the early season, his ultimate fate is that much more tragic. I also love the series for gifting us my all-time favorite Star Wars character, and one of my favorite characters from any universe — Hondo Ohnaka! My chapter is a retelling of the first season story arc that plays out across the episodes “Dooku Captured” and “The Gungan General.” I wanted to explore this storyline because I find Count Dooku a fascinating character. Sometimes pure, mustache-twirling, mwa-ha-ha evil can actually be boring to write, but a villain who feels they are justified, either because of perceived slights or intellectual superiority or the failure of their rivals or birthright are much more interesting, and Dooku is a bit of all of this. For research, I obviously watched tons of Clone Wars. But I also read up on everything about Dooku I could find, and I listened to Christopher Lee and Corey Burton’s interpretation of the character over and over, trying to internalize their speech patterns. Dooku is so gorgeously supercilious. It was just a blast to get in his head and see the world from his perspective. (And the fact that the storyline gave me another chance to write for my beloved Hondo Ohnaka was an added bonus!) Tom Angleberger (“Bane’s Story,” based on the episodes “Deception,” “Friends and Enemies,” “The Box,” and “Crisis on Naboo”): There’s a lot to love in The Clone Wars, but I think it’s Ahsoka’s arc that really stands out the most. Ventress’s arc does, too, and the way that these arcs cross at the just the right moment is really great Star Wars! My chapter is based on the “Crisis on Naboo” story arc. It’s basically a Space Western. The baddest bounty hunter of them all, Cad Bane, is hired to kidnap the Chancellor. What he doesn’t know is that almost everyone is lying to him, especially a fellow bounty hunter who is really Obi-Wan in disguise. In the TV version, we see it all from Obi-Wan’s point of view, so we know that Bane is getting played. In this retelling, we see it all from Bane’s point of view and, boy, is he going to be mad! To prepare I watched both The Clone Wars AND old spaghetti Westerns starring Bane’s inspiration: Lee Van Cleef. Preeti Chhibber (“Hostage Crisis,” based on the episode of the same name): I love the story that the prequels tell, but because of the nature of what they were trying to do — tell a decade and a half worth of story in three films — we’re missing major moments in what the war really means to the galaxy at large, and in the Skywalker saga itself. The Clone Wars tells us that part of the narrative, it gives us the shape of what entire populations of people had to go through because of this war manufactured by the ultimate evil. And within that scope gives us the hope and love and beautiful tragedy we associate with Star Wars on a larger scale. (Also, Ahsoka Tano — The Clone Wars gave us Ahsoka Tano and for that I will be ever grateful.) I’m writing Anakin’s story during “Hostage Crisis” — an episode in the first season of The Clone Wars. I decided to write the story entirely from Anakin’s perspective, which meant being inside his head before the fall, but where we are starting to see more of the warning signs. And then there’s also the romance of this episode! Anakin’s love for Padmé is real and all-consuming and, as we eventually find out, unhealthy. So, this is a romantic episode, but one that shows us Anakin is ruled by his heart. And that that’s a dangerous thing for a Jedi. In order to best wrap my own head around what was going on, I watched the episode itself several times, and read the script, and then I watched the chronological episodes of Anakin’s run-ins with Cad Bane, so I could get a real feel for where he was with his understanding of Bane’s character. E. Anne Convery (“Bug,” based on the episode “Massacre”): I love it because I think it’s a story that manages, while still being a satisfying adventure, to not glorify war. It does this mainly by following through on the arcs of wonderful, terrifying, funny, fallible, and diverse characters. From the personal to the political, The Clone Warsredefines the ways, big and small, that we can be heroes. My chapter is the “original” tale, though it still touches on The Clone Wars Season Four episode “Massacre,” with brief appearances by Mother Talzin and Old Daka. If I had to boil it down, I’d say that it’s a story about mothers and daughters. Honestly, it felt a little like cheating, because writing new characters meant I got to be creative in the Star Wars universe somewhat unencumbered by what’s come before. I did, however, have several long text chats with Sam Witwer because I was interested in Talzin’s motivations. We talked about stuff like her capacity (or lack thereof) for love. I think I came away thinking she was more a creature driven by issues of power, control, and the desire for revenge, whereas Sam was a little kinder to her. I mean, he is her “son,” so you can’t really blame him for wanting to think better of her! I always love a story within a story, and I was interested in the space where the high mythology of Star Wars and the home-spun mythology of fairy tales could intersect. I drew on my own background in mythology, psychology, and the language of fairy tales, plus I did my Star Wars research. Re-watching the Nightsisters episodes was just plain fun. Zoraida Córdova (“The Lost Nightsister,” based on the episode “Bounty”): The Clone Wars deepens the characters we already love. It gives us the opportunity to explore the galaxy over a longer period of time and see the fight between the light and the dark side. Star Wars is about family, love, and hope. It’s also incredibly funny and that’s something that The Clone Wars does spectacularly. We also get to spend more time with characters we only see for a little bit in the movies like Boba Fett, Bossk, Darth Maul! My chapter follows Ventress after she’s experienced a brutal defeat. Spoiler alert: she’s witnessed the death of her sisters. Now she’s on Tatooine and in a rut. She gets mixed up with a bounty hunter crew led by Boba Fett. Ventress’s story is about how she goes from being lost to remembering how badass she is. I watched several episodes with her in it, but I watched “Bounty” about 50 times. Sarah Beth Durst (“Almost a Jedi,” based on the episode “A Necessary Bond”): I spent a large chunk of my childhood pretending I was training to become a Jedi Knight, even though I’d never seen a girl with a lightsaber before. And then The Clone Wars came along and gave me Ahsoka with not one but TWO lightsabers, as well as a role in the story that broadened and deepened the tale of Anakin’s fall and the fall of the Jedi. So I jumped at the chance to write about her for this anthology. In my story, I wrote about Ahsoka Tano from the point of view of Katooni, one of the Jedi younglings who Ahsoka escorts on a quest to assemble their first lightsabers, and it was one of the most fun writing experiences I’ve ever had! I watched the episode, “A Necessary Bond,” over and over, frame by frame, studying the characters and trying to imagine the world, the events, and Ahsoka herself through Katooni’s eyes. The episode shows you the story; I wanted to show you what it feels like to be inside the story. Greg van Eekhout (“Kenobi’s Shadow,” based on the episode “The Lawless”): What I most love about Clone Wars is how we really get to know the characters deeply and see them grow and change. I enjoyed writing a couple of short scenes between Obi-Wan and Anakin that weren’t in the episode. I wanted to highlight their closeness as friends and show that Anakin’s not the only Jedi who struggles with the dark side. There’s a crucial moment in my story when Obi-Wan is close to giving into his anger and has to make a choice: Strike out in violence or rise above it. It’s always fun to push characters to extremes and see how they react. Jason Fry (“Sharing the Same Face,” based on the episode “Ambush”): I love The Clone Wars because it made already beloved characters even richer and deepened the fascinating lore around the Jedi and the Force. I chose Yoda and the clones because the moment where Yoda rejects the idea that they’re all identical was one of the first moments in the show where I sat upright and said to myself, “Something amazing is happening here.” You get the entire tragedy of the Clone Wars right in that one quick exchange — the unwise bargain the Jedi have struck, Yoda’s compassion for the soldiers and insistence that they have worth, the clones’ gratitude for that, and how that gratitude is undercut by their powerlessness to avoid the fate that’s been literally hard-wired into them. Plus, though I’ve written a lot of Star Wars tales, I’d never had the chance to get inside Yoda’s head. That had been on my bucket list! Yoon Ha Lee (“The Shadow of Umbara,” based on the episodes “Darkness on Umbara,” “The General,” “Plan of Dissent,” and “Carnage of Krell”): I remember the first time I watched the “Umbara arc” — I was shocked that a war story this emotionally devastating was aired on a kids’ show. But then, kids deserve heartfelt, emotionally devastating stories, too. It was a pleasure to revisit the episodes and figure out how to retell them from Rex’s viewpoint in a compact way. I have so much respect for the original episodes’ writer, Matt Michnovetz — I felt like a butcher myself taking apart the work like this! Rebecca Roanhorse (“Dark Vengeance,” based on the episode “Brothers”): I always love a backstory and Clone Wars was the backstory that then became a rich and exciting story all its own. The writing and character development is outstanding and really sucks you into the world. I chose to write the two chapters that reintroduce Darth Maul to the world. We find him broken and mentally unstable, not knowing his own name but obsessed with revenge against Obi-Wan and we get to see him rebuild himself into a cruel, calculating, and brilliant villain. It was so much fun to write and I hope readers enjoy it. Anne Ursu (“Pursuit of Peace,” based on the episode “Heroes on Both Sides”): The Clone Wars creates a space for terrific character development. The attention paid to the relationships between Anakin and Obi-Wan, and Anakin and Ahsoka make for really wonderful and resonant stories, and give so much depth to the whole universe. I was at first a little scared to write Padmé, as her character felt pretty two dimensional to me. But the more I watched her episodes in Clone Wars, the more dimension she took on. She’s such an interesting character — she’s both idealistic and realistic, so when corruption runs rampant in the Senate she doesn’t get disillusioned, she just fights harder. She has an ability to deal with nuance in a way that is rare in the Republic — and it means she’s not afraid to bend a few laws to make things right. In this chapter, the Senate is about to deregulate the banks in order to fund more troops, and Padmé decides to take matters into her own hand and sneak into Separatist territory in order to start peace negotiations. Of course, neither Dooku nor the corrupt clans of the Republic are going to allow for this to happen, so the threats to the peace process, the Republic, and Padmé’s life only grow. This arc is the perfect distillation of Padmé’s character, and it made getting into her head for it fairly simple. But I did watch all the Padmé Clone Wars episodes and read E.K. Johnston’s book about her, as well as Thrawn: Alliances, in which she has a major storyline. I really loved writing her. Star Wars: The Clone Wars – Stories of Light and Dark arrives August 25 and is available for pre-order now.

#obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #asajj ventress #ahsoka tano #katooni #yoda #captain rex #darth maul #novels #news #long post

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akookminsupporter · 4 years ago

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The tactile members of Bangtan still engage in skinship but imo they do it very much on their own terms and not performatively. Platonic expressions of love between men are important and, sadly, maybe a paradigm shift for North American media. However the existence of platonic bonds expressed by physical affection do not cancel out the possibility of LGBT identity or a romantic m/m relationship existing within a group of friends. An LGBT man can love and hug a male friend non sexually. To think otherwise is to limit the scope his humanity.

There were some very sweet snuggling and spooning (in a bed) sequences in In the SOOP. That show came out less than a year ago so, relatively recently.

I think what is telling with Jikook is that their snuggles in the show, though obviously filmed, happened in a home like setting, with cameras installed all around and them kind of being used to them (I know there were drones and manned cameras as well). I believe that the Jungkook spooning Jimin sequence (from the morning/mid day after the night of the net breaking) was filmed with one stationary camera instead of an actual camera person IN the room with them. I imagine that this made them feel more relaxed and alone. Jimin was in half sleep. No one was performing. Who know how long they napped for (the footage has a cut in the middle).

Now, we ALSO saw instances of Tae crawling into bed with Jungkook (who was half asleep) and, on a seperate occasion, with Jimin. I think Hobi also partook in some cuddles in that series as well.

These are loving, normal interactions for them. I remember thinking, and this could be wrong, that the show might not have included the Jikook cuddling if the Taekook, Hopekook and Vmin cuddling had not ALSO taken place. I guess that's my delulu moment right there.

What is notable is that Jungkook only ever initiated spooning with Jimin, and it seemed like the most natural, habitual thing in the world for them, almost like a stolen moment away from the crowd (I cringe for writing that but you know what I mean!) There was also a blink and you miss it cut in the Jikook spooning sequence (as well as multiple cuts and edits in the net sequence. We didn't see all that happened in the room. We were shown a selective version).

Anyway, I love that show and all.of the tactility felt like an organic thing among this sweet group of friends and colleagues, nothing forced, and certainly nothing scintillating.

"However the existence of platonic bonds expressed by physical affection do not cancel out the possibility of LGBT identity or a romantic m/m relationship existing within a group of friends."

Anon your first paragraph is 100% correct.

I really agree with everything you said.

There were definitely cuts in the clip where Jimin broke Jungkook's mosquito net. I have noticed that this seems to happen quite a lot when it comes to those two.

#anon #ask #JKJM #skinship

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vinatintasupernovita · 4 years ago

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2 for the warm weather/summer prompts 👀

2. “I’ll explain later, but for now, can I throw this frozen margarita in your face and call you a jerk?” with some Michael/Beelzebub

———

There was exactly two times every century or so that Heaven and Hell’s forces looked forward to. One was the long-awaited ‘Casual Friday’- that was more Heaven’s deal, as Hell had long since abandoned their dress codes- and the other was the weekend-long co-office summer beach party.

The beach party was, on the record, a strategic meeting. Heaven and Hell would get together on a secluded beach on Earth and.. ‘scope out’ the opposing side- try and find weak points. This was a crack of shit clearly as most of everyone used this weekend to let their hair down for a couple days and get out any pent up energy they had from the thousands of years of sitting in shitty cubicles that were only different in color scheme. And after a long time considering, they both decided giving up on that after the failed apocalypse would just be another kick to the nuts.

Beelzebub sat at the cabana bar- the warring forces had co-rented a hotel and their private beach this time around and everyone agreed it was a much better experience now that endless drinks were included.

They sipped on a frozen lime martini as they played with the string of their cover-up. A few of the other lords and dukes were mingling on the beach with a couple angels- none that Beelzebub really knew the names of. They preferred to sit and drink in silence since it was going to be some of the only quiet they were going to get for awhile.

“Beelzebub!” And there the silence was broken. They turned on the swivel stool and looked to see Gabriel approaching in his usual purple hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts. They rolled their eyes but motioned him over all the same.

“Featherbrain, you’re looking beachy.” They said as he took the seat next to them. He shook his head when the bartender questioned if he’d like a drink, and Beelzebub continued drinking. “Still won’t taste humanity’s finest creation?”

“You know how I feel about gross matter.”

“Yes, won’t eat food or drink alcohol unless it’s with humanity’s least favorite dietician at some overpriced gastronomy joint.”

Beelzebub was one of three people that knew about Gabriel’s currently covert relationship with Famine. The other two people were Frannie- Gabriel and Famine’s girlfriend- and Aziraphale, who Gabriel had originally turned to for romantic advice as he was the only other angel Gabriel had knowledge of dating non-angels. Demons and Monsters of the human subconscious were only a couple steps away from one another on the supernatural hierarchy anyway.

Beelzebub got to know about that little circle as they were, for lack of better terms, Gabriel’s closest friend. They had a mutual distaste and disrespect-turned-respect for another for the last couple thousand years that evolved into a genuine friendship. Gabriel would spill about his new escapades in love and Beelzebub would offer advice as if they had ever had a romantic encounter in their entire existence.

That would change however as Gabriel caught them staring at Michael off in the distance. Michael was, admittedly, the hottest angel in Beelzebub’s opinion. They’d never say it out loud, but it was apparent from the way they were missing their straw as they tried to continue drinking. Gabriel only chuckled.

“Distracted, Beelzebub?” He asked, only to snap their attention back to him and get a glare in return.

“Im never distracted. Especially not by angels.” They argued.

“I never said anything about it being an angel specifically. Could’ve been Asmodeus.” He said.

“Ugh, don’t make me gag.” They said as they pulled the drink closer. “What, are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t need to tell Michael anything- he’s probably watching us right now.” Gabriel said as he leaned on the bar. “He likes to think he’s discreet but really most of Heaven knows how he likes to play spy.”

“He can’t hear us from that far-“

“No, but he can watch.” He said. “He’s good at that.

Sure enough, Michael was watching- watching with a kind of jealous glint in his eyes. He looked up from the sun-tan mirror in his hands for a moment as he tried to read Gabriel and Beelzebub’s motions. They were friends, that was clear, but Gabriel had been acting much brighter in the last few weeks and Michael had a sneaking suspicion that he knew why- he had to have some new lover.

But Gabriel wasn’t dating an angel. If it had been an angel everyone in Heaven would’ve known about it by now. But nothing- no info from anyone. And from the looks of it, it was a demon. At least, that was the working theory Michael had.

Now as previously stated, that was not the case at all as that would’ve been cheating on Gabriel’s actual partners and gross to Beelzebub, who would sooner eat glass, but Michael didn’t know that. And, for the record, he had been meaning to ask Beelzebub to a drink for the last three beach weekends, he just never got around to it. Uriel said it was because he was too chicken, but Michael would prefer to keep his pride in tact in case of a rejection.) But now, timing was critical. For both him and Beelzebub.

They had to figure out a way to get Michael to come over and assess exactly why he was staring- maybe put the moves on him, as the kids say. But they needed a reason, any rea-

They looked at their half-consumed margarita and got a brilliant idea.

“Gabriel, I’ll explain later, but for now, can I throw this frozen margarita in your face and call you a jerk?” They asked, only for Gabriel to blink at them.

“Um, sure?”

Splash!

“You holy fucking jerk!” Without a second given for Gabriel to question their thought process, Gabriel was drenched in lime margarita and all eyes seemed to be on them. Most of everyone just turned and looked and wondered or snickered, expecting some kind of further blow up in the coming minutes.

Thankfully, Michael took the bait. As he walked up, Beelzebub gave Gabriel a look that just about screamed ‘play along.’

“Is there a problem, Lord Beelzebub?” Michael asked as he looked between his now-drippy brother and the Prince of Hell. Beelzebub turned to Michael and cleared their throat.

“Just Gabriel being his usual dumbass self. I’d say he should think before he speaks but clearly he can’t ever think.”

“I resent that-“ Gabriel started, only for Michael to raise his hand slowly to quiet him.

“Now, now, we don’t need any of that. Not now, at least. We have a truce.” He said. “Gabriel, why don’t you clean up while I try to smooth things over here?” That’s when Gabriel saw Beelzebub nod, and finally it clicked.

“Oh, fine.” He said, getting up from the cabana. “We’re not done here, Beelzebub!” He was such a bad actor, but thankfully he was walking away.

“So sorry about him.” Michael said as he took Gabriel’s spot. “Let me get you another drink, on me.” He waved over the bartender. “What was it?”

“Lime margarita with a salted rim.” Beelzebub said.

“One of those and a cherry daiquiri for me.” Michael ordered, and the bartender nodded before heading to make the drinks. “Now, why don’t you tell me all about what happened?”

“You were watching us, i’m sure you could guess.” Their words had an air of mischief in them that Michael caught right away. He nodded.

“I watch everyone. But I have to say I’m surprised, I thought you and Gabriel were close.”

“He’s not the worst angel i’ve ever met.”

“But you’re not denying that you’re close?”

“He’s my friend, nothing more. Sometimes he’s much less.”

“And I’m assuming right now he’s the ladder?” Michael said as he took a sip of his drink. “You still haven’t explained what happened.”

“He was being nosey, that’s all. But damn does it weigh on you after the hundredth question.” Beelzebub lied, watching for another look of interest in Michael’s eye. “Asking too many personal questions.”

“Like?”

“You too?” They said sarcastically. “Well, if you must know, he was asking if I fancied anyone. Wanted to plan a double date with me and my person of choice and his new partners. So annoying.”

There was the info Michael was looking for- he’d have to ask Gabriel about it later but partners plural stuck to his head. That, and the fact it wasn’t Beelzebub. That was step one. Now they were both onto step two.

“And who would be your person of choice- if you have one?” Michael asked. “Any demonic entity catch your eye?”

“Id sooner discorporate myself than date anyone in the same office.” Beelzebub said. “Too close for comfort, don’t know how some of them make it work.”

“I see. I suppose I could say the same. Angels are close-knit but sometimes it could be a bit much.”

“I didn’t know you were the type to date outside the heavenly realms.”

“Well, things change with time, don’t they? I mean we should’ve destroyed one another by now but we’re drinking together instead.”Beelzebub nodded, leaning on their elbow.

“Suppose you’re right.” They said. “If you’re free, we could also get dinner together. Up to you.”

That’s when it hit Michael exactly what they were implying. He chuckled. The sly bastard.

“I think that sounds delightful.”

#wow this was longer than i thot it would be #good omens #fresa’s fics #beelzebub x michael #michael good omens #beelzebub good omens #yes i wrote in some gabriel/famine/frannie cus im obsessed w them

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imlostinsantacarla · 4 years ago

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Anonymous said: I hope I'm not too late for this! Not sure if you wrote it before 'cause I can't find it. Could you write David or Paul from Lost Boys having a crush on you would include? Whenever you have time but could you please let me know if you've got my ask? Tumblr like to eat them sometimes

(a/n: heya hun! sorry that i didn’t answer this one sooner. i would have lost the request if i had. also my apologies for how long it’s taken me to actually get around to having written this piece as well. i’d experienced a really bad case of writer’s block! i also decided to do the rest of the boys, so i hope you don’t mind that. thanks for requesting and i hope you enjoy reading! - admin kat 🌙❣)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The Lost Boys Having a Crush on the Reader Headcanons:

David:

° When David’s interest is peaked by someone in a romantic sense, he’s surely unable to look away from them. So be prepared to catch him in the act of staring at you more often than you had previously noticed. When you make eye contact, he

° He’s not a stranger in the department of having the capability to come up to you and strike up a conversation. No, he’s more than capable of doing that. Only, he much prefers to hang back and wait for you to come to him. He wants to know that you’re interested in him as well, he sort of plays hard to get.

° But once a conversation is struck, he’s a true flirt, albeit subtly to begin with, which creates wonder around whether or not he actually is. It makes him simper wildly at you, some of his comments going straight over your head. However, once you do pick up on the fact that he’s interested, and you reciprocate those feelings in return, he’s a shameless flirt all round!

° It’s a common occurrence for David to thus offer your rides on the back of his bike. He even allows Star to begin riding with either the likes of Paul or Marko. When you accept, it’s a humongous ego boost!

° David is both protective and possessive, bordering heavily on the verge of territorial. So don’t be surprised if potential threats are either scared off or wound up being found washed up on the shore. You’re his. He’s made up his mind and there’s no room for anyone else.

° As stated above, in David’s eyes you’re already his, so in his opinion, you might as well get comfy for the ride because you’ll be his for forever. He’s not like Paul, he’s either in all the way or not.

° When David is experiencing a crush, he’s certainly attempting to win you over heavily. So he spends a lot of the time complimenting you. It’s a very direct way for him to communicate that he’s interested in you. He only enjoys it all the more if you become flustered in response.

° If you knew him very well, you’d completely comprehend why the boys look at him gobsmacked when he’s less snarky with you, in conjunction to being happier with you around. They guys surely thank you profusely for that!

° David is an all in or none at all kind of man. If he’s interested romantically in someone then he’s going to be giving you all of his attention. He expects nothing short of the same in return, so don’t be surprised when he sulks slightly when you laughed at Paul’s dumb joke for thirty minutes straight.

° Although he loves his boys, he also is a man and needs his alone time. So, during his alone time, he enjoys spending that time with you. It’s one of the rare moments where he allows a slightly softer side to come forward. It’s a chance for him to get to know you more intimately, and not just in a sexual manner.

° When you’re in the hotel, David situates you on his lap, especially when the other boys are around. Again, it’s an ego boost, but it’s also a direct way of telling them to back off and you’re his. Not that they’d try anything anyway.

° When you’re doing your own thing on the BoardWalk, expect this suave vampire to run his eyes up and down your figure because damn! He scored lucky. You catch him every time and the guy winks at you.

° The majority of the time he’s quite literally eye fucking you. This is especially the case in public or around the boys. He knows that he’s doing it, but do you complain? Hell no!

° Again, he even winks when you catch him red handed. He’s not shy about it, even if it makes you feel embarrassed. David enjoys watching you squirm underneath his smoldering gaze.

° He’s definitely the type of guy to catch you off guard because your momentary fear boosts his pride in himself. He laughs at how you jumped at his presence.

° Unbelievably to the other boys, he actually shares his cigarettes with you, which is a first! The last time Paul tried to pinch one he got a swift kick up his backside for it.

° David never stops smirking around you when he likes you! It’s physically impossible for him not to.

° He also teases you relentlessly, especially when it results in you becoming abashed.

Dwayne:

° To begin with, it’s challenging to tell whether Dwayne likes you or not because he’s already so quiet. You genuinely assume that he hates you or something which causes you to avoid him a lot as he’s quite intimidating.

° But nevertheless, he finds himself staring at you a lot more. You catch his eye immediately with little effort and peak his intrigue.

° You also just so happen to catch him in the act of staring at you. It’s a process that tends to fluster the pair of you, your eyes meeting for a flicker of a second before finding something else to focus on, as though both of your lives depended upon it!

° This sort of thing happens for a couple of months as it takes a lot of courage for Dwayne to be able to talk to you. He also doesn’t trust people as easily as Paul does, which can make him come across as unapproachable and intimidating, but underneath he can be really chill and gentle if you get to know him.

° Whilst all of this is happening, the other boy’s are busting his balls for being such a pansy about it all, which gives him the courage and edge of defiance to actually go up to you and introduce himself. The whole ordeal leaves you a stuttering mess, which he finds utterly adorable!

° And to the surprise of the other boys, he speaks to you a lot more frequently and in quantity than with most people, - including them -. It’s quite bizarre for them to witness, leaving them wondering what you’ve spiked him with! News flash, boys, it’s nothing.

° Dwayne definitely finds a way to emotionally connect with you on some basis. He doesn’t outwardly say that he likes you, but his actions tend to speak louder than his minimal words.

° With that noted, he’ll probably buy (or steal) small things or snacks because they’re your favorite or the small item reminded him of you or you said you really wanted. It’s genuinely the kindest gesture you’ve experienced in your life and it wins you over. He’s spontaneous with his gift giving and very casual about the whole experience. He does stumble over his words a little when he tries to explain why he got it for you. But nevertheless, it’s very sweet!

° It doesn’t matter if you’re not dating Dwayne yet, he likes you which means that he’s already beginning to care about you as a person. This leads to him giving you his jacket on colder nights because let’s face it, this raven haired boy is really an angel sent from heaven! It doesn’t matter that he’s shirtless, he insists every time.

° To your amazement, he will make flirty comments to you, which puts you into a state of shock for a few seconds. He usually does this whenever the boys aren’t floating about, their beady eyes scoping out the scene makes him awfully antsy, and not in a good context.

° Dwayne compliments you so much, but in a respectful fashion because Dwayne drinks respect women juice™! And you can fight me on that one.

° He also buys you food, particularly your favorite icecream. It’s kind of a gesture of, “Hey, let me take care of you!”. Argh I love him so much!

° When you’re walking on the BoardWalk side by side, your hands do brush up against one another, yet it’s not until you’re on a ride that you’re scared to be on does he actually grab hold of your hand. It’s his way of letting you know that he’s never going to let anything happen to you when he’s around. It’s so fucking cute!

° It’s a very rare occurrence to see this boy smile, but when you’re around, he just can’t help himself! Paul and Marko think it’s hilarious and always comment on it.

° Dwayne laughs at all of your jokes, even the ones that aren’t particularly funny. He thinks they’re funny though, which is a plus!

° He drives you places at night if you need to go anywhere. He doesn’t think that it’s a hassle at all, he sincerely enjoys spending time with you.

° If it’s not already apparent yet, Dwayne becomes very protective of you because when he cares about someone, he’s willing to keep them safe.

° He will stand up for you whenever anyone is giving you shit. He usually tends to back away from violence or anything heated, but when it comes to you, he’s willing to defend you by tooth and nail.

Paul:

° Be prepared for extreme flirting and teasing! When it comes to Paul having a crush on you, he isn’t going to hold back. He’s going to pull out all the stops.

° When Paul likes someone, he’s inclined to speak far more often. Can you believe that’s even possible? Well, it is! And it’s practically on the verge of blabbering, but you find it adorable, nonetheless.

° Due to the fact that he talks nonstop around you, it’s almost a given that he becomes tongue tied at some point. It makes you laugh softly at him because you’ve never seen someone so happy to be around you before until you met Paul. It was a little overwhelming to begin with, but now you’re so used to it.

° It’s incredibly obvious that Paul likes you, even you can tell. He’s also up front about the entire ordeal by flat out telling you honestly that he likes you. He’s not shy and that’s a known fact by now.

° Though to begin with you thought he was joking, but it turns out he really wasn’t!

° Paul is the most shameless flirt out of all of the boy’s, which leads to him winking at you so often that you swear your heart implodes in your chest. He’s a huge fan of how embarrassed you get when he does it also. He can’t help but laugh in response.

° Dirty innuendos as well as cheesy pick up lines are a given. This man spits them out like fire! And he’s not even worried if they don’t land well because he’ll just bounce back in with another one, and another one...

° Out of all of the boy’s, he’s the most welcoming and warm one. So, he’s not a stranger when it comes to physical contact. He encourages it whenever he’s with you. He hugs you a lot and will place his hands on you more, - not in a particular fashion that is sexual, especially if you’re not into that -. It’s his way of letting you know that he’s interested, it bridges the gap between you two, reminding you that he’s there and very much so interested in you.

° He wants to be around you all the time, honestly. Marko calls him a nerd because of it, but Paul just puts his buddy into a playful choke hold and calls it a night. Nah, Paul’s not embarrassed that other people know that he likes you, in fact, in his eyes it only makes it clearer that other people should back off. They really don’t stand much of a chance against him.

° Paul is a funny guy, so it’s just common knowledge that he’s going to make you laugh very hard on a constant basis. You pretty much have permanent abs now. Nothing is better to him than the sound of your laugh and the sight of your smile. When you break out those two things, Paul is putty in your hands! He prides himself on his ability to make you beam like the sun and laugh so hard that you’re crying. And that’s not even an understatement.

° He always has an arm wrapped around your shoulders. Again, it’s about contact. He tries not to do it without your permission if you’re not a fan of physical touch, but he just can’t seem to help himself. He gravitates towards you like you’re his personal sun.

° One specific way to know that Paul is really crushing on someone is when he feels comfortable enough to share his favorite music and bands with you. He’s a big fan of rock and metal, wanting to share it with you comes naturally to him. He’d be stoked if you enjoyed the same music as him, but he won’t slander your taste in music if it’s different. He may not like it, but he’s certainly not going to force you to listen to something you’re not fixated strongly on. I mean, after all, he’s quite a chill guy.

° We also know that Paul is quite an emotional guy beneath all the hair and the dirty clothes. If he likes you, you automatically mean something to him, which means he’s protective of you. He won’t stand for anyone making fun of you, trying to put you down or anything negative regarding you. He’s stomping out that fire before it can burn you. And you better not be surprised when people wind up dead afterwards. No one messes with you. Period.

° Funnily enough, he also shares his weed with you (if you smoke that is. If not then that’s all swell too!). Yeah he’ll share some with the boy’s, but if he’s smoking a joint he won’t ever let them have a puff. He goes halfsies with you, the sight is astounding alone!

° Paul gives you piggy back rides whenever you desire. Sometimes he doesn’t even ask you!

° He lets you borrow his jacket whenever you want and tells you how good you look in it as well. Great, now there’s less work for him to make other competition back off!

° If Paul likes you he’s going to speak to you about his interests and will actually listen to you too, even if you have great knockers that he can’t stop ogling at!

° He will include you in everything that he does because he likes you that much and wants you to be included. Excluding others makes him feel bummed out, especially when it comes to you. He wants you to feel comfortable around him and the boys and as though you matter because you do!

° It’s not a question of whether you want him to or not, but Paul will just pull you into his lap when he’s sitting down.

° He’s also kind of sweet because he’ll hold your hand when you walk with him, especially when the BoardWalk is packed that night, as not to lose you in the crowd. Like, any excuse to touch you he’s game for because he really likes skinship. He’s just so excited when you’re around him, he can’t help himself!

° He’s the type of guy where when he sees you come onto the BoardWalk that night, his eyes light up!

Marko:

° I’m not quite sure how this is even physically possible, but Marko will smile even more when you’re around. He just feels like you’re his personal sun and you have the ability to pull him out of the darkest of moods and into a much lighter one.

° Paul has quite the habit of teasing Marko about it, which just results in Paul getting thrown into the ocean 900% of the time. And you bet your ass that Paul is surprised each time it happens.

° It’s incredibly sweet when it occurs, but Marko’s eyes have a habit of lighting up like torches when he sees you. It’s genuinely the most adorable thing that anyone has ever seen. This especially happens when you first appear on the BoardWalk at the beginning of the night, and honestly, it occurs every night.

° Marko will flirt like a champ with you because he is the king of flirting! You thought Paul was good at getting the attention of girls? Meet Marko, the one with the ability to gain your attention with just one of his big goofy grins. And you can bet your ass that he makes your heart flutter intensely.

° One thing most people aren’t aware of how much Marko loves animals, after all, he’s befriended every pigeon and rat back at the Cave. So if you make an appearance in the hotel, it’s expected that he’ll show you his scruffy pets and he’ll allow you to feed them with him.

° The boys steer clear of all taunting then, because Marko isn’t afraid to beat their asses if they fuck this up. It’s happened before. But let’s be honest, Paul interrupts 9/10 times because he wants his buddies attention. You find that adorable.

° Physical touch with other people that aren’t his brothers is incredibly rare from Marko. This is due to his lack of ability to trust others. Marko is the most guarded individual in the group, being a strong contender with Dwayne and David. But with you, he finds himself hugging you more often. It’s an odd sight for the boys to see at first, which only feeds their suspicions that Marko indeed does have feelings for you.

° But nevertheless, the other boys particularly enjoy seeing Marko happy, so there is little room for complaints here.

° When Marko has brought back grub for the night, he’s more than happy to share his own food with you, which is a strong indicator that he trusts and cares for you. He happily sits back and allows you to stick your fork in his takeout box of rice. He’s totally relaxed about it.

° Now when Paul attempted to do the same thing, Marko almost bit his hand straight off. It’s fair to say that Paul was left traumatized.

° Speaking of food, Marko will allow you to go on food runs with him for the boys. This is due to the simple fact that he enjoys your company, and also slightly because he knows that if he leaves you at the hotel with the boys, they’re 110% more likely to tell you a bunch of embarrassing stuff he’s done in the past. He’d rather spare himself the mortification, thank you very much!

° He’ll also get your favorite takeout whenever you’re at the Cave too, regardless of whether the other boys hate it or not. Even when the boys bitch about it, he’ll just grin and say something cheesy like, “The guests choice.” lmaoo what a nerd!

° Marko is also very talented when it comes to winning things at the arcade or the game stalls on the BoardWalk. He’s never been a stranger when it came to winning that adorable plushie you had been eyeing up for the past hour and a half. And he’s even more delighted when you carry it around the BoardWalk afterwards with an enormous grin plastered on your face. It genuinely just melts his heart!

° Marko is quite the independent man, which just amplifies his guarded nature. It’s scarce for him to ever ask for the opinions of others, yet he finds himself always asking for yours. Your opinion is one that he truly values because he enjoys hearing your thoughts and opinions. To him you’re equal and if you show him respect, he gives that back without hesitation.

° Catch Marko genuinely listening to you when you talk. To him, it doesn’t matter about the subject at hand, just the sound of your voice encapsulates him in utter focus. It’s especially so when you’re discussing something that you’re interested in or passionate about.

° Anyone can figure out that Marko has a crush on someone when he listens to their problems and provides solid advice in response, but only if you’ve asked for it. Although Marko would love to just waste anyone who upsets you, he knows you wouldn’t be a huge fan of that. Instead, he opts on listening to your issues and providing comfort where possible. This deepens your emotional connection, and overtime makes it easier for him to open up to you in response.

° Just insert fucking heart eyes everywhere by this point! Marko can’t get enough of you. It’s a wonder that you haven’t picked up that he likes you, but then again, the boy is a tricky one to read so it’s challenging for you to comprehend whether his actions are motivated from a platonic perspective or a romantic one.

° Marko’s most prized possession is his jacket, and he never parts with it, even during the mad heatwaves that constantly occur in Santa Carla. However, he’s managed to shed his jacket a few times when it comes to you. He’ll plant the article of clothing over top of your shoulders, particularly when you’re shivering in colder weather.

° Don’t make a big deal out of it though! It just embarrasses him and he becomes a gushing mess. Besides, he likes the way it looks on you, as well as warding off any potential competition. After all, Marko is a possessive man!

° Expect to be complimented loads of times during the night. He manages to do it such a nonchalant way you tend not to notice it, but he’s always gratuitous when you accept it and return a compliment. This also strengthens your bond, making it a rather positive one and helping him to unwind and relax around you.

° I headcanon that Marko is quite perceptive and observant. So it’s a common occurrence for him to notice new things about you like a new haircut/color/style, clothes, jewelry, etc. and he compliments you on them/it. He wants you to feel good and confident around him, as well as letting you know that his focus is primarily on you and no one else.

° Much like Dwayne, he will tend to get you small things and gifts that consist of your favorite candy, etc. which emanates the fact that he’s thinking about you. It’s a sweet small gesture that you never fail to thank him profusely for. But Marko just waves it off like it’s just the casual thing that he does for everyone, only he doesn’t and you know this.

° Marko will tend to whisper rather flirtatious comments in your ear, especially when he is behind you. This happens a lot whilst you’re waiting in lines for rides or for food. He can’t help but grin silly when you start to grow flustered over his words.

° His nimble fingers will also brush the hair out of your face as he speaks to you. It’s a bold move considering how guarded he is, but he wants to see your breathtaking countenance when he’s speaking to you. The action usually makes you get abashed, which he honestly loves deeply.

° With Marko there’s going to be lot’s of eye contact incorporated with a ton of smiles! The entire ordeal makes you swoon for him, and he’s more than aware of this.

° He’s developed a habit of looking at your lips a lot when he's talking to you. He also checks you out fifty times in an hour. He’s not even abashed when you catch him! He just grins that much wider at you, because in his eyes, he can’t help it.

° Out of all of the boys, I believe he’d be the most nervous to tell you his feelings in fear of being rejected. But also, it’s foreign for him to let a new person in behind his walls, so there’s a lot of nervousness swirling in his heart and brain about it. You’re probably going to have to be the first one to admit it, which he’ll gladly follow suit in.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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